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t3_2lsino | legaladvice | My saddle was stolen, and the thief has been called for a hearing. What can I do to get it back? | I was an avid horseback rider all through my childhood and high school. Last September (2013), I started riding again, casually, once a week and brought my saddle with me to the new barn. This October (2014), my saddle went missing. The woman whose horse I ride helped me file a police report the second I noticed it was missing. A week later, someone else at the barn noticed that a former boarder posted a saddle identical to mine for sale on a public tack exchange page on Facebook; this woman had left the barn recently on bad terms. I am 100% sure this saddle is mine. I've had it for 10 years and the leather has some distinguishing marks that would be incredibly unlikely on any other saddle. There are a few other distinguishing characteristics that I relayed to the officer to help identify it that she did not include in the photos she posted online. Since it is 10 years old, I do not have a receipt, and saddles do not have a serial number or any other such identifiers. I do have a handful of photos of the saddle that show a few of the major marks, and I can describe it in excruciating detail. The saddle is probably worth about $800 (should be $1300 but there's some damage, hence the distinguishing marks). The officer on the case "put the matter in for a hearing to which she will have to appear in court to decide if there is probable cause to file a criminal case." I'm not optimistic about getting my saddle back since she's been uncooperative with the officers and may have already sold it; however, it has a lot of sentimental value, and I also can't afford to replace it at this time. Is it worth it to lawyer up for the hearing? What sort of lawyer should I contact? What sort of expenses can I expect? What should I prepare? If the police do not file a criminal case, can I take her to small claims court? I'm thinking it might not be worthwhile since I'll probably never see the money from her. What do I do? I have never been in a court and have no idea what to expect. | Someone stole my saddle and listed it for sale publicly online. There is an upcoming hearing to proceed with a criminal case. What can I do?! |
t3_4gkq8j | relationships | I [20/M] found out my girlfriend [20/F] kissed my roommate | So long story
My girlfriend and I went to Smorgasburg on Saturday afternoon. Later that night we my roommates and her were meant to go out.
Unfortunately I suffered from possibly the worst food poisoning I've ever experienced. I told my girlfriend to have her phone on her in case I needed her, but said she could go out.
About an hour into their night starting my pain was unbearable and I texted my girlfriend, she did not once respond to my texts despite being in two rooms away from me. I didn't have the energy into the other room and ask her, hoping that texting her would be sufficient.
Then they decided to all go out to a bar near my apartment.
My roommate, who is a notorious horn dog when he's drunk had once been touchy with my girlfriend, but the first time I thought it was just him being too drunk. My girlfriend has also recently been having a drinking problem, in the sense that she drinks too much and blacks out, it's been a problem we've discussed on multiple occassions
Finally, in the literal shittiest situation possible, my roommate and best friend of three years decided to go for a kiss with my girlfriend, they kissed outside of my room, whiel I was sleeping and sick. There is video evidence suggesting that my girlfriend attempted to avoid it, but they kissed for at least 3 seconds.
I love her to death but I think the circumstances are just way too much for me to handle, I decided to break all contact with her and stop talking to my roommate for the time being...
What would you guys do | My roommate hooked up with my drunk girlfriend right outside my bedroom while I was suffering from food poisoning an didn't tell me for a whole day. |
t3_2kba44 | relationships | I (21f) have a really embarrassing medical issue going on, and am terrified of telling my boyfriend of 3 years (23m), but it's hard to hide. How can I go about this? | In the logical part of my brain I'm thinking - we've been together 3 years, we know each other head to toe, we've already had other embarrassing occurrences and been fine. (I've thrown up on him, he peed his pants once, we're great) So this shouldn't be awkward or weird and he won't look at me differently or be grossed out, right?
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Sure - but emotionally I can't reconcile that. I'm even embarrassed to write it here but basically I've had stomach issues all my life. It's never been great but it has improved over the years when a very stressful time of my life passed. Anywho. Two weeks back I had a bug and it lasted about a week. Now I have this extremely, extremely painful thing in the .. fuck, my ass. I'm guessing a perianal hematoma. It has been with me a week and it's excruciating at its worst and at best its very uncomfortable - to stand, to sit, to lie down, to fucking breathe.
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I hated writing that. I just feel so gross. But it REALLY hurts and it's still legitimate right! I just don't know how to explain to my boyfriend why I am getting jumpy when he grabs my ass or why I look like it takes such an effort just to stand up. Earlier I got shooting pains and went to the other room to grin and bear it and when I recovered and came back he was like, what's wrong? I couldn't tell him.
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But I clearly need to. I just don't know how. Anyone in LTRs had a situation like this? I mean I could see how in a marriage it would be easier but I dunno it just feels insanely private and UGH I don't know. Did anyone ever have an SO tell them about an issue that was less than cute (ha)? How did you feel/react?
(oh, and for the record I am seeing a doc on monday if it's still this bad) | I have butt pain problems. I want to be able to tell my boyfriend and stop hiding it when I barely can. Help |
t3_f7jby | dogs | Alaskan Klee Kai, good first puppy? | If all goes as planned, I will be getting my first puppy in about a year. I will be living in a small apartment.
Flipping through a dog magazine a couple months ago, I came across an article on the "Alaskan Klee Kai." Ever since then, my mind has unwillingly designated the breed as my new favorite. I find it completely irresistible, as it is a miniature husky and "very intelligent."
But is this a bad idea? I would take it on daily walks, but even still would an apartment situation take its toll? Also, would it be too difficult for a first time dog owner? I figured the more opinions I could get the better.
[Alaskan Klee Kai]( | Alaskan Klee Kai, good or bad idea for first time dog owner living in a small-ish apartment? |
t3_2lqcow | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] of 4 months, how long/how to bring up a few (lighter) kinks? | I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now. He's great! He's kind, funny, hot, etc. I will note he's fairly quiet and reserved, I think his parents somewhat helicopter parented him into getting an athletic scholarship at our school, but it's been fun getting him to open up a little. I really enjoy our sex life.
Anyways, there are a couple of things I want to try in the bedroom. I haven't actually tried any of them before, but I've been thinking about it a lot, and I feel comfortable enough with him to want to try it with him. I don't think it's anything too crazy, I just want to try very light bondage (on him) and be the "dom" (just to feel in control or something) and also see if he's willing to "toss the salad."
Is it too early to bring kinks? If it's not, what's the best way to go about talking about it? | I want to try some kinks with newish boyfriend (who can be a little reserved). How to talk to him about it? |
t3_1qjksd | relationships | Me [35 M]. Wife [35F] had two affairs in five years. Trying to reconcile. Bad idea? | The short story is I'm in the military and have two kids 14F and 9M. We've been married for 15 years, and twice she has cheated on me. Both times it was with a coworker, both times I was oversees, and both times when she actually had sexual relations with the losers, she was drunk.
Over the years I've been neglectful and disrespectful toward her, however, as we grew (married at 20) that largely improved. Because I wasn't the model husband in the past and we have two kids, I've opted to reconcile instead of divorce.
It's the hardest thing ever. Just last night we were going to have sex and once we got naked, images of the other man popped into my head. I couldn't continue, if you catch my meaning. I've known about the most recent affair for four months so I would have expected the "mind movies" to stop by now. Don't get me wrong, there have been alot of GREAT moments as well, I'm just getting tired of falling back into a depressed state of mind every few days. It's hard to be a good husband when the routine thought of your wife -legs spread drunk and wide for other men- disgusts you.
Am I just trying to fix the unfixable? | The short story is I'm in the military and have two kids 14F and 9M. We've been married for 15 years, and twice she has cheated on me. Should this be fixed? |
t3_222bib | relationships | I [27 M] am jealous. I know I am crazy. Am I wrong to think that my girlfriend [24 F] puts herself into these situations willingly and then gets | We have been dating for nearly two years.
I know I am a jealous person. I know that I let hypothetical situations exacerbate in my mind. I over analyze everything and I know it is killing my relationship.
We got into a major fight in October over me being jealous about her suddenly becoming close friends with a couple single guys at the bar she frequents. I overreacted badly and I know it. We were yelling for several hours. It was a blow out fight but we got through it, I have since realized that it is more about my insecurities than anything else. We made it through and bounced back to a better level of trust and affection. I have been working on my self-esteem issues by redirecting my anxiety away from her when those situations arise.
Today she sends me a message that this male bartender at another dive bar in town, who I know is single (and whom I know she thinks is attractive - I overheard her and a friend talking about him), has not only offered her a job tending bar there, but is inviting her to train for a tough mudder. She goes there every week when I am at work and only when I am at work.
I know that these are seemingly tame interactions, I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I am! How can I stop it! I try to talk to her calmly and she just gets annoyed by me because of the first big blow out fight months ago. Any time I express the slightest bit of jealousy she just puts up a wall.
I know that jealousy can often be irrational, but can't it also be natural to do at times?
Am I wrong to think that she puts her self into certain situations (not necessarily knowingly) that lend themselves to exacerbating my jealous tendencies? | I am insecure and jealous, I am wholeheartedly working on it... but I can't stop it and she won't talk to me about it. |
t3_2tmfwh | relationships | My [23 M] dad [54 M] has over $28,000 in unpaid credit cards and asked me to pay it off for him. | My mom [50 F] told me a few months ago, that her and my dad would be separating. Both of them are immigrants, and barely make enough money to make end's meat.
Since the fall, they've been distancing themselves and individually asking me to help out on a few things. My mom had asked me to co-sign on the mortgage for the house, which I obliged with, as she just needs my income on the agreement so she gets the mortgage, but she would pay the it off on her own.
In the fall, my dad asked me for $1,500 for his work, since some equipment that he uses for work broke and needs it fixed. I loaned this to him in the fall, and he only repaid me back $500 since. Just yesterday, he asked me for an additional $1,500 which I transferred over to his account.
Today, I went back to my parent's house and he brought me a letter - I opened it, and it was from the bank he's with, saying that they're claiming over $28,000 in unpaid credit cards from him. He asked me for more money, and suggested the idea of putting a legal agreement where I transfer money over to him every month.
I'm not sure what to do. I know my dad's reckless in spending over the last decade (e.g. buys expensive things for himself or for my sister, goes on vacations, etc) and I have little faith that me trying to help him out will actually do anything. I also know work has been very slow for him, and he barely makes enough money to sustain himself.
I have about $20,000 in savings and only take home about $4,000/month, with about 50% of that going to food, rent and commuting. I'm uncomfortable is loaning him more money, since I feel like it would just vanish into a black hole. Advice? | My dad has borrowed $3,000 from me, and wants to borrow more to pay off his $28,000+ in unpaid credit cards. |
t3_3v822m | relationships | I [25 M] am trying to forgive my girlfriend[24/F] for cheating, how do I stop the images? | Me and my girl has always been in an up and down relationship. We broke up once because we were too unsure of each other and didn't speak for awhile. Then we slowly reconnected after 6 months and one thing led to another and we decided to start again. I was happy to be her boyfriend again and also noticed that she changed and matured as well.
One night I pushed her into admitting that she cheated on me one week before we broke up and it hurts like hell. She cried of course, not because she regretted it, but because she was hurting me. Which again hurts me because she doesn't feel guilty for what she did and by telling me that it was just a random guy also mindfucks my brain because she was an easy lay.
I forgave her later on and we agreed to start a NEW relationship and not rebuild an old one. Every rational thoughts in my head really just want to end it and find myself a girl whom I deserve, but emotionally... I really love her and feel attached to her as well.
I've been getting alot of images in my head that I don't know how to deal with. Like how he looks like and how they fucked, down to the details of what time and how long they fucked, what was she wearing, did they have morning sex?
My emotional response to this is anger, frustration, sadness etc... I just can't seem to get it out of my head! It's driving me crazy and I can't function properly during the day and have trouble sleeping as well. It hasn't been one day that I don't think about it and there are just to many questions that I don't want the answer to.
I've been reading alot of "how to forgive infidelity", but none tells you how to calm your thoughts and move on. How am I suppose to suppress these images while being a good boyfriend in a new relationship? | We broke up and got back together. Found out later that she cheated once and having trouble with images in my head of her fucking another guy. |
t3_29mns6 | relationships | Hello, I am [18M] and I have this crush on this girl and I don't know where to start. | Hello, My name is Tyler and I am city boy who resides in a town of 100,000 people or so. I am not the greatest looking guy on the planet, I believe I am average with an intelligence level of above par. I have had this crush on this girl who I think is very attractive, she gives me butterflies in my stomach when I even give thoughts about trying to talk to her because I am that nervous. I've talked to her a few times, nothing super major just the occasional hello, or how are you? but nothing past that; and now that we have graduated from school I feel my chance has fallen through the cracks because my fear of rejection/social anxiety had gotten the best of me. Im not sure which one, probably both.
I am friends with her on facebook, I have never messaged her, I've liked some of her pictures but not an excessive amount. and I don't know if facebook is a way to really, get to know someone or anything like that, I just feel that it a non-traditional way to talk to someone via mass social media, I don't want to be creating the "I don't know you, why are you talking to me" type vibe. I've been told first impressions really break or make the experience when you talk to someone. I would like suggestions on what to do and how would I actually start to pursue getting to know her and hanging out and then asking her to be my significant other. | Has crush on girl for long time, wanted to date but too much of a pussy to act, now graduated, fear of not being able to date, Need suggestions on what to do. |
t3_4gmpgt | relationships | She [F/23] lost the ring 1 day after I [27/M] proposed... | We've been together for 6 years, and I've been planning on proposing for the last 2, but was waiting for us both to mature a little more as I've always felt we needed to close the maturity gap a little more before tying the knot.
So I finally pulled the trigger. I had a custom engagement ring made using a sizely heirloom diamond from my late grandmother, with gold and additional diamonds from close family members. I spent way more than I should have, at about 3 months worth of paychecks on top of the re-used materials to have this ridiculously overpriced finger rock mount created.
We flew out to San Francisco over the last weekend, hiked out to a mountaintop in Marin to watch the sun rise over the city, I proposed, and she said yes. It was a great weekend, and we flew back on Sunday.
Within 24 hours of being back home, she has completely lost the ring with no memory of where she left it. I just took the entire day off work to help her tear the house apart looking for it (thinking we'd find it quickly) and it is nowhere to be found.
She feels like shit, and I am doing my best to tell her it will be ok, and it might still turn up, and it's only a symbol/material-thing, but deep down I can't help but feel regret and resentment. Shouldn't I though? I am not looking forward to having to tell my mom about her dead mother's missing heirloom, and I am ignoring all of the congratulatory calls/messages I'm receiving because I am dreading the subject of the ring will come up.
I have never felt this sick before from the loss of a material item, but this thing represents a huge leap of trust and vulnerability for me, as well as a substantial amount of work and capital, and I'm just having trouble moving forward.
I suppose the relationship is what's important, but when you've just gone out on a limb and committed to spending your life with someone, resentment and regret are the last two emotions you want to be feeling, even if off-point.
Any advice or support would go a long way. FML | Spent way too much time and money to purchase rocks. Presented rocks to potential mate. Lost rocks. Am sad monkey. |
t3_2fasyl | needadvice | 19/m, Bad with money, Make terrible desicions and am going nowhere positive. Please help. | I'm terrible with words so i am just going to dive right into it. I am terrible with money and i think i am addicted to hookers, I make constant bad decisions and a burden to most people around me. How do i change this, simple right?
Ill try and give some back story but it would be better for people to ask questions and have me fill in the blanks the try and throw everything out there. Im 19 turning 20, male in ontario. I have had a steady and fairly well paying job (started at $14/h now making 16/h), without going into much detail i can turn this job into a career if i wanted. i've had this job for 2 years and have no money to show for it. I live at home, pay 100$ in rent a month that's it...no car..no phone bills..no groceries. Im in the process of quitting weed and im a cigarette smoker (15-20 smokes a day). Barely drink, hardly any friends so i don't go out, no girlfriend, ive grown tired of buying video games so i just play the ones i have. I literally spend all my on smokes and hookers...i know. This is the part that i believe is the worst, recently we got coins that my grandpa had left behind from when he died 11 years ago, some of these were expensive gold coins and alot of silver dollar coins. I took a good chunk and sold it for temporary joy. I stole from my dead grandpa for f--king sex. It bothered me at the time but it didnt stop me but my mom found out and was almost to the point of tears when she told me how disappointed she was and that is what leads me here.
I guess what im looking for is the magic person with that one magic answer to change everything, i know that's impossible and i realize im a fucking scrap but i don't know how to change it. I just need advice someone to show the me the right path to follow, im sick of being stuck in a shitty rut. | Ive turned into a shitbag, who lies, steals and frequently uses hookers. need advice or someone to point me in the right direction or subreddit. |
t3_1k8snn | relationships | My boyfriend [25M] of 2 years told me that he wants to have sex with a younger version of me [24F] | My boyfriend [25M] of 2 years and I [24F] were looking through some old pictures. He saw a picture of me when I was about 13/14 - in the picture I'm laying on a sofa, kind of scantily clad, and looking coyly at the camera. He said, "Wow, if I had known you then I would have wanted to have sex with you." I laughed and thought nothing of this comment; I basically interpreted it as 14-year-old him would have been attracted to 14-year-old me.
Later that evening, we were in bed talking. He started talking about the picture of me again and how hot I had looked. He then made it clear that present-day-him wanted to have sex with the middle-school-me. He was talking quite graphically about how he would want to take my virginity. His dick got hard as he was saying this. He seemed to stress that it was young, virginal *me* that he was attracted to, not young, virginal girls in general.
I was thinking about this today and am wondering: Is it normal to want to have sex with a younger version of your SO? Is this a indication that he could be attracted to pubescent/post-pubescent girls in general? | My boyfriend saw a picture of me when I was in middle school and said he would want to have sex with me if he met me when I was that age (and he was his current age). |
t3_142o3g | AskReddit | Reddit, I am about to throw my first big college party, and I want it to go well. What are some tips you can give me? | I am a senior in Washington, and my three roommates and I decided to throw a Christmas/end of quarter party. I have hosted parties before but with a max number of 15 people. I have invited over 60 with an open invitation to friends of friends. We have a moderately sized house with a large living room and large kitchen. I want it to go well, people are travelling across the state to attend and I don't want to dissapoint. Is beer pong necessary? Loud music? I want to decorate extensively and include my guests in fun things like decorating cookies and drunkly making snowflakes. I have a 30+ year old seemingly working keg without a tap, and it has a mystery liquid in it, can I use the keg? Any advice will help. | Any advice on throwing parties, keeping them fun, keeping them in control, and preparation/clean up is needed. |
t3_32dh13 | relationships | College[22M] unsure how to proceed with Free Spirited [21F] 1 Month | Hi all, school in California. I just met [21F] "Miri" from Malaysia, had 5 dates over the month. our 4th date was a great long hike where we couldn't keep our hands/lips off each other we hit it off perfectly she even kissed ME goodbye. The following day she invited me to her birthday party. Things went well initially at her place, Miri was the only person I knew so I focused on getting to know her roomates/friends first.Afterwards we went out to the bars, got drunker, danced with Miri, yada yada
Here's where it gets confusing: I notice her see a guy in the bar she knows and during their greeting/hug I think I see them quickly kiss, (not 100% sure but almost positive) Also after last call we're outside and one of the guys in our group, John is wrapping his arms around her from behind and what looks to be kissing her kneck. I blow it off and we proceed to take a cab back to her place.
We arrive and I'm playing it cool, I grab her alone and casually ask "I know we just started hanging but are you seeing john/anyone else" Shes embarrassed and says "no no that's Shelley's (girl in group) boyfriend he gets like affectionate sorry I'm a FREE SPIRIT and I make silly decisions." I basically say that's fine but If I'm going out with a girl I'm not going to be the second guy she kisses that night. Miri was a little sorry and says "well I don't know what I want (from us)" I told her I feel the same but we agreed we enjoy each other and want to continue hanging out, I kiss her shortly after that but she pulls away. Shortly after It was late I told her I'm heading home , she gives me a big long hug and kiss on the cheek and to text her when I arrive home safely.
I suspect she's may be hooking up or seeing other people which is fine cause it's college. However I like Miri a lot and want to at least become exclusive with her. | Girl is unpredictable and oblivious to her flirty ways. Called her out and that just seems to be her personality. Unsure how to proceed romantically. |
t3_4auaif | relationships | My [27M] third date with her [30F], need advice | I met a woman on a dating app three weeks ago. We went out that week and had a solid two hour date over a couple beers. After that date, she held off on texting back quickly and would take ~24 hours to respond to my texts. No biggie.
We went out for a second date the following week and had a great time at a concert. We had a great conversation, made out for a while, and I was really enjoying the date.
I text her the next day and say I had a great time, she takes a day and a half to text back. A bit of back and forth over text, I ask her if she'd like to meet over the weekend, but she's busy so it'd have to be on a Thursday. I say thats fine and suggest a place.. takes her two days to respond to say she'd like to go.
Basically, I like her and enjoy hanging out with her. I want to ask her why she takes a while to respond to texts and what exactly she wants out of this relationship, but I'm having trouble figuring out how to ask. Normally by the third/fourth date I've had sex - not saying this is expected, but I'm wondering how to bring up the subject without putting her off. What should I do? | third date with a woman I met online, we hit it off twice, but she seems a bit distant. want to ask her about her feelings and dating goals without putting her off. |
t3_g3iep | AskReddit | 19yr old American, wanting to go to Canada this summer with his friends | It's going to be my two good friends from high school and me. Since we all went to different colleges, we wanted to do something fun for the end of our summer. We're only going to be underage for 2 more years, so we'd figure we head to Canada and be legal. We all live near a suburb in Chicago, so from there I was hoping that reddit could help us with places to go for our summer. We definitely want to visit the bars, but not be hated. I heard Windsor is just a place for underaged Detroit teenagers to party and every American there is disliked. We wanna go to a place that's nearby, cheap, and full of Canadian culture. | 3 19yr old college students, looking for a place in Canada to go to barhopping/partying thats near chicago and is full of canadian culture |
t3_2ffbhc | relationships | My bfs ex is trying to destroy our relationship. [ me 29 f] him [27m] her [26 f] | My SO and I have been together for 6 months now. He has a child with his ex so obviously they stay in contact with one another. When her and I first met, we got along quite well. Even so much that my bf and I went on a double date with her and her then bf. All was well until about two months in and her whole personality changed.
One weekend we wernt able to have my bfs son over because we had a prior engagement that we had told her about weeks earlier. But when it came closer to the day she started throwing hissy fits. Saying that we had to take the baby because she wanted to go out. My bf stood his ground with her, which in thier past history she had him wrapped around her finger.
We went to our wedding and picked up my bfs son the next day and carried on as usual. Then she lost her god damn mind, all of a sudden she turned into this evil person (which she's teally been all along) im not allowed to pick up or drop off my bfs son anymore, apparently im also a controlling bitch who is stopping him from seeing his son more and her other kids. ( she has three kids all have different fathers) she is constantly txting my bf to badger him for money or to make him feel like a terrible father. Im getting really fed up with all this bullshit. Ive asked my bf if I could ralk with her to try and clear this up or at least get ourselves back to some sort of amicalbility. But he says for me to stay out of it. I dont know what I should do | my bfs ex is causing a lot of trouble and stress on our relationship. I want to confront her but bf says no. Need advice! |
t3_v8ynl | relationship_advice | [21/m] I can still can't get my ex-girlfriend [21/f] off my mind more than a year later. Not sure if I'm doing it right. | She broke up with me and I wasn't happy about it. We were together 1.5 years. I pined over her and was depressed all last summer. But my life picked up again and I feel better, but not totally better. I still think about her, and that sort of thing. I came here to ask if I'm doing it right or not, because I've never had this sort of reaction before. I guess she was my first love, but I wouldn't know since I haven't had a second.
What I want to know is what is normal, and what is not, in terms of getting over a relationship? What is a normal timeframe? I know it's different for different people, but what's the average?
To give a bit of backstory we are not in contact and probably never will be again. I'm willing to be friends and put past conflicts behind us but she is not, and I'm prepared to never see her again. She broke up with me for poorly defined reasons, no mistreatment or anything like that, just a case of not wanting it anymore. My emotional health is perfectly fine, but almost once a day she will surface in my mind and lately I've found myself wondering if I really have gotten over her or not. I was so sure that I had. Since this is my "first love" I'm not sure what I should accept as normal, or try to change.
Will I think about her like this for the rest of my life? Sorry if this is posted in the wrong place. | > Gf of 1.5 years broke up with me 1 year ago, I thought I was over it, but I'm not so sure. What's normal? Tips for getting over it totally, if that's possible? |
t3_1ntiwd | relationship_advice | [24/f] My fiance (25/m) keeps doing things he knows I don't like, then refuses to talk about it. Am I over-reacting? | Me and my fiance have been best friends for 10 years, and have dated several times. This has always ended with my fear to/inability of commitment. However, I've grown up a lot since high school and realized he's really the only person I would ever want to marry. He's the only person I can't be without. We've been doing great, even though he's stationed on the opposite side of the country. Texting daily, and skyping almost every night. We were working on planning a small quiet wedding, as we weren't going to tell people other than our families until we had time/money to have a big wedding. Recently he's been fairly distant, and pulled away even more when I asked why he was acting strange. He then started talking to girls whom he knew were interested in him, and were clueless to our engagement.
When I told him this made me nervous, he told me I was being ridiculous, and that they're interest in him doesn't mean he's interested in them. When I tried to ask if it was okay for me to do the same, he literally laughed and told me that was different. I asked him if he could not talk to them as often, or at least tell them he was in a relationship. He never really gave me an answer, other than if he didn't talk to them, he wouldn't have anyone to talk to.
I discovered later that he baby mama threatened him with never seeing his kid if he didn't move her and his kid to live with him, and marry her, he'd never see his kid again. That partially explained his actions, but not completely. I'm not sure if I'm over reacting here, but I am absolutely furious. He has not only continued to talk to these girls, but has been hanging out with them behind my back and telling me that he's busy or not in the mood to talk. I love him so much, but at this point, I'm done. | Fiance and best friend of 10 years is being shady as all hell and doing things he knows I don't like. Ready to call it quits. |
t3_49g1im | relationships | Me [31M] and my [24F] girlfriend are about to break up. What do I do? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We were madly in love for the first year and were talking seriously about marriage. Then we moved back to our hometown and things changed drastically. We went from inseparable to barely seeing each other. I wanted what we used to have, but she wanted things to be more casual. I had a hard time switching to "just dating" when we had practically been living together before. I know I was being clingy and needy, but I had really been working on it.
Last night she told me she was unhappy and wasn't sure if she wanted to continue our relationship. Right now we're taking a break for a week and we're going to see how we feel next Monday. I want to stay together, but I'm pretty sure this is just a preamble to her breaking up with me.
I really love her and want to make this work. I'm giving her her space and hoping for the best. It's been devastating so far, because I'm convinced we're already done for in her mind. To make matters worse, I don't really have any friends anymore. Since we've moved back my new job has been taking up all my time and all my old friends have moved on with their lives (marriage, kids, moving to the suburbs, etc), so I feel I have no one to talk to. I'm really feeling desperate and alone. I feel like the situation is hopeless and I've ruined a good thing. I'm so lonely right now.
I have two questions.
1) People who taken a break- does it ever work out where you get back together or should I abandon all hope now?
2) What can I do to get over this? It feels like a piece of me is missing. I can't imagine my life without her. | Girlfriend wants a break. Should I give up hope or be optimistic? How can I get better if the worst happens, when I have no support network? |
t3_3l1gps | relationships | Me [28 M] with my sister [25F], I need to stop her from making a big mistake. | My sister has a 5 yr old son (lets call him Mikey) from a previous relationship. She's been doing very well for herself. Has a great job which she has held for a couple years and lives on her own.
I always considered my sister to be very smart in the decisions she makes for her and my nephew. He is a very smart well behaved kid.
She split up with Mikey's dad when he was only 6 months old. He was abusive and just overall the worst.
My sister has brought around 1 BF since then (about 2 yrs ago). Relationship ended quick due to him not being ready to take on a relationship with a child. The guy was not around Mikey a lot so he did not get affected by this break up.
Fast forward to now and she has a new BF (Steve 27). Now normally I would feel happy for her because she's a great mom and deserves a good man.. We have only met him 3x and we like him. Set career. Looks out for my sister. Is good around Mikey and always includes them in future goals he mentions.
Now the problem is that she wants to move in with him.. they have only known each other for 8 months. This move would also include Mikey. I think she is rushing into this and not thinking straight. Am I wrong for bringing this up? Should I try and knock some sense into her? Is this my business? Should I hope she is making the correct decision and hope for the best? | Sister and nephew is moving in with her 8 month long BF. We like him a lot but think it is too soon. Should I intervene? |
t3_3bx79u | relationships | Me [22M] having doubts with my gf [22F] of 4 years, missing the "thrill" | I'm with my gf for 4 years now. Everything is great, our life is awesome and we are having plans, etc. Sex is great too. I feel I love her. I mean, I still smile everytime I see a picture of her, and feel the love rushing through my stomach :)
But, in the last period, like in the past few weeks, I feel an increasing desire to pick up others. Not exactly just the sex, but more like the "thrill". You know, that dance, where you are getting to know each other, you know you like each other, feel the increasing fire between you...The lean in for the kiss, this stuff. I was in a party with my gf but she left early and I had a great time with one of her girlfriends, and ohhhh the excitement and the chemistry....
I can't really describe it more.. I'm sad, because I don't want to like this. And I don't understand it, because I feel the same when I'm intimate with my gf too. Its just in the past I noticed the attention of many other good girls towards me and I'm confused about what should I do... Before her, chasing girls and stuff like this was also a big part of my life, so its hard...
*I know I'm a dick | Have a great gf of 4 years, good life plans with her, I love her, but really missing the thrill of the other girls. What should I do? |
t3_2u90oy | relationships | My (18f) ex (18m) is still using me for support and messing with my head. Help, 2 years together and first everything | So my ex and I broke up just over a month ago after being together for two years. We were each other's first everything. Two weeks later he started dating someone else.
Recently he contacted me asking me if I was ok and then ended up telling me that he thought he would be happier than he actually is. He then went on to tell me that he felt like he was still holding onto something. Despite this he claimed he has no romantic feelings for me he just cares about me more than he expected and that it is a lot harder to move on than he thought. He also said he felt a bit lonely and empty and sad. He hasn't told his new girlfriend about these feelings and I don't think he is planning on it.
The day after I asked him if he was feeling better and he said he was much happier. I'm so confused as to why he is telling me these things. Neither of us has gone through a breakup so I have no idea if this is normal. We're still trying to stay in each other's lives and be friends. | Ex boyfriend still cares about me and is struggling to move on despite new gf. Why is he telling me this sort of stuff and what does it mean?? |
t3_2b61zt | relationships | I (21m) possibly ruined anything that I might have with my friend (19f) | Ok, I know I fucked up here, but I could use some advice on what to do because I'm lost.
I have been seeing K for almost a month and up until now, things have been going great. We are very compatible, open about problems, ect. I could see myself making something out of this even if I am going back to college in around a month. She is aware of this as I told her the first day I started taking to her.
Well I have been talking to a friend who I used to have a "fling" with at college but we are only friends now. We were talking about my lack of faith in people and she wanted to explain how others saw me. She decided to do this through a story. Yesterday she sent me the little story she wrote and it moved me.
Dumbass me mentioned that I was in a mood to K. She asked what caused it and even more stupid, sent her the story word for word. I realize that I did wrong by even mentioning it to her. At first, she didn't seem too upset about.
This morning, she asked me who sent it and I told her who. She proceeded to ask why if I knew her feelings for me and my past with her would I send such a heartfelt message to her. There was nothing I could say other then apologize for even bringing it up. She brought up that the only reason that I'm talking to her is to keep myself occupied until I go back to school or to even use her. I asked if she could forgive me for my stupidity. K asked if it is even worth it to forgive me due to feeling only as an option and me leaving. I told her that I cannot make that decision for her, told her that I had no intention of making her feel like that, and that the decision is up to her.
Reddit, I need your help. I have no idea how to proceed. I really care about K and would do anything for her. I need any form of advice in how to proceed. Feel free to call me names or reducible me. I deserve it. | Girl and I might become a relationship, tell her how another friend of mine sees me, proceeds to get mad, sees herself as only a temporary way to occupy myself until school. Help. |
t3_2pex89 | relationships | Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description | Let me start off by saying although I am a very sensitive person with a big heart for the people I love and care about, I either back away from sad situations or dive in with too much overbearingness (not sure if thats a word) because I grew up in a family/culture that lacks a lot of empathy. Not always, but this time I really want some advice on how to make the man I care about feel better in a very sad time.
This man, has a very sweet dog. I've known him and his dog for a few years now and have grown fond of them both. Recently his dog hasnt been well. Shes vomited all over his room a few weeks ago, has been uncharacteristically letheragic, hasn't been eating, and has been losing weight.
I don't know exactly yet what the vet has said and/or disagnosed. He texted and called me last night letting me know he was taking her to the vet today. I texted him an hour ago asking if he took her and he said "Yeah, its bad. I'll call later."
I feel horrible. Ai care about both him and his dog. I want to know how I can be there for him (which is a little hard because of work and living 30 miles away now) and also what to say to be to comfort him later on, despite what it is that is wrong. I want to say more than "im so sorry, what can I do?" , something less unrealistic than "it'll all work out" and not as realistic as "let me drop everything and babysit your dog for as long as you need me" (even though I kinda wish i could... If his dog needs round the clock care).
So.. Any advice? | the guy I am seeing has a very ill dog and doctos suspect its life threatening for the dog. What do I say or do to show that I care without being overbearing? |
t3_12yzz0 | relationships | How do I (19/f) tell a potential love interest about my upcoming plastic surgery, and will it be an issue? | I'm 19 years old, almost 20. I'm a sophomore in college. I am getting corrective breast surgery in December over Christmas break. (One of my boobs is a full cup size bigger than the other. It's really noticeable if I'm naked, but I hide it well in regular clothes). I'm not going to look super different after surgery; they're putting two differently sized implants in. I'll go up a cup size or so visually but I'll be symmetrical. No one will even know unless they see me naked or maybe in a bathing suit, 'cause I wear padded bras right now anyway to hide my unevenness. Anyway, there is a guy I have been texting a lot recently, and he is definitely the relationship type. I really like him. He seems to like me too, has told me I really pretty, etc. He came to a party at my apartment a couple weekends ago and ended up sleeping over, but only because it was so late. We didn't even hook up, just cuddled and talked in my bed. So yeah, he's pretty sweet. I just am nervous about
a.) getting at all intimate with him prior to December, because my boobs are uneven and I feel self-conscious
b.) getting intimate, him not noticing my asymmetry/or caring, and then having to tell him that I'm getting surgery
c.) he seems kind of conservative, so I'm worried he'll be put off by my surgery or the fact that I'm not as "perfect" (his words) as I look.
Should I just say nothing this semester, and tell him if we're still interested in each other/or dating next semester? Would a nice guy care about breast implants like mine, where it's kind of for a sensible reason?
Thanks for input! | I am getting small breast implants to make my uneven boobs symmetrical, should I tell a potential love interest, will he care, and how do I tell him? |
t3_514k4w | relationships | I[M23] just had a break up with my girl[F21]riend, and not quite sure what I should do next | So to start it off I'm from Australia, and she was from Norway and we'd met each other backpacking through SEA, dated for about a year and half. Currently I'm over here in Norway on a working visa in their student city and student apartment which we're in for another month and half before we can move out(contract).
We're still friends, we still like and care for each other but we're going to have to split properly sometime so she'll be moving out to her mothers fairly soon so we can have some space.
My issue next is what to do, with the working visa agreement I can only work with one employer for 6 months maximum then have to find another employer to hopefully keep some money rolling through my account. It being a student city here and fairly seasonal, makes it a bit harder for me to find a job as obviously the locals speak Norwegian 10x better than I probably ever will, though I'm getting okay at it.
I'm not sure whether I should keep up my efforts here in searching for a job, or should I move on down south to Oslo and try a fresh start looking for a job there? Although I'll be searching from a hostel(assuming that's the cheapest option), and won't get much security?
Or, I could call it done and over for Norway, and try out a new country altogether, although that means getting a new working visa for that country which will mean more paperwork. | had a break up, unsure whether to stay and look for job with her as a safety net/friendship to help out when needed, or try out Oslo/different country&visa |
t3_36mtsv | relationships | I [24F] was violent with my half brother [22M] today. | I'm still frustrated and angry but I'm mostly sad. I'm not a violent person normally but I kinda lost it. How do I go back from this? How do I fix this, I need this to stop.
I moved back in with my mom a little over year ago because a relationship didn't work out and finding a affordable apartment anywhere near where I work is really hard. My brother and his girlfriend live there as well, they have their own place but it was a shell, not really livable, and they don't want to take too much loans so they wont move for a quite while either.
I guess its frustrating for all of us but sometimes everything is fine and we have the best of times but sometimes when hes annoyed or something he flips this switch and becomes this bitchy diva, fighting with everyone and looking for any and all flaws constantly picking away. Normally I just leave and go to my room. But I was making some food, something small after work, and hungry so I didn't want to leave. I did asked him to leave but he just wouldn't. He was complaining about how me and mom don't pick up after ourselves (Its not bad and him and his is no better). I tried to ignore it but when he threw a magazine I'd left on the counter in the kitchen at me I got pissed and I pick it up and threw it back at him and I see how he starts to look for something to throw so I push him into the freezer. He flips and launches at me but I push him into the table the table, he falls down (hes not very big...). He yells he gonna call the police and goes to a friends house.
I think he scrubbed his elbow but nothing more and it would surprise me if he sued but its really beside the point because I really wish we had a good/better relationship, but at the same time I just cant take his constant abuse.
(No point asking my mother for help, she never put the foot down ever and I was a spoiled brat as well until I was like 20 when I realized I could do much more to be a person that I wanted to be.) | Couldn't take any more verbal abuse so I pushed him around. He is really angry with me and I really wish we could fix our relationship. |
t3_3p1cv2 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] three years together, out of the blue starts feeling uncomfortable and we've been arguing a lot. | Well, I personally dont think its that bad of a situation but I am still concerned about how it all started to happen.
From my point of view we had great past three days, we were enjoying ourselves and we also have spent a lot of time without problems, but yesterday she started feeling "uncomfortable".
She has been busy lately studying for an important exam, she just started taking it yesterday and when we could get a brief moment to be together she acted all distant and did not even pay attention to the things I was doing to make her feel better. This because she really had a rough day and I, as her boyfriend, wanted her to feel relaxed and get through these two very heavy days she's been having.
Later that night she started telling me things like she wasnt feeling comfortable with me anymore, that I barely do things to prove that I love her and stuff like that, when I think its been the exact opposite, but well I decided to not pay attention to it anymore.
So now today, I saw her and everything was normal, even we were cuddling and kissing, thing which yesterday didnt happen. But all of a sudden she starts saying the same things all over again. Just because we have not spent a lot of time together these past days, Im completely baffled by all this and dont know even what to say to her. She event thinks I dont wanna be with her anymore, that I dont love her. Im really stressed and really dont know how to react, all her words have been hurting and I cannot understand completely whats happening. | GF has been busy because of an exam, starts saying that she doesnt feel comfortable with me anymore and that I dont love her. What can I do? Why is she thinking that? |
t3_2x6mrq | tifu | TIFU by sending a message to my mother which was meant for Tinder | I have this stupid knack of typing text into a text message on my iPhone and hitting send prematurely without first proof reading.
This morning I was the middle man between my mother and my friend relaying messages from one to the other. My mother recently purchased a new split system air con unit and my mate being an electrician was going to help install it.
As i became lazy i started to screenshot my screen and just send the screenshot of one message to the other, this was going fine. Then for some odd reason in one message to my mother, instead of attaching an image i just pasted the clipboard to the message. It was one of those moments that slow down and you can see what is about to happen but lack the ability to respond quickly enough.
The following text had been stored in my clipboard for a while leading to me forgetting about it. "when we break it to our friends that we're together, should we keep that we met on tinder a secret or should we just let it out of the bag?"(You see, i found this to be quite an effect means of starting a conversation on tinder and so on the odd lonely night i would paste that into a bunch of messages with my matches on the dating app).
The moment i realise the stupidity of my actions i lunged to turn my phone into aeroplane mode in a ditch effort to prevent the message from sending... it was pointless. I heard the ever so familiar zip as the message was sent away, along with all my dignity.
Immediately i went into damage control mode and sent a follow up message "um sorry, that was meant for Simon"... why the hell did i think that would help? Now not only does my mother think I have a fling with someone i found on tinder (embarrassing enough) but now she is convinced that my "new flame" (as she put it) is my mate the electrician and that she has a gay son. | Accidentally paste and copied a message to my mother that was meant for girls on tinder and now my mum thinks im gay. |
t3_12iypu | BreakUps | My girlfriend (f26) left me (m25) after 4 years. I love her with all my heart. How to move on? | We know each other for over 10 years and we've been a couple for the past 4 years. We live in different cities so the distance has always been a problem, but we dealt with it pretty well.
I have some trust issues apperently, but they were provoked often. Specifically, her close friendship with a guy from another country and her visits to him. And even though I firmly believe that it really was nothing more than friendship I hope you can understand my position and doubts. We've had a few fights about it but always managed to get through it fine.
During her last visit my jealousy kicked in again and I looked at her skype history (on my PC, very old conversations while she was staying here). And I also looked at her e-mail. There was some upseting stuff and I had to confront her about it. I knew how horrible it was of me to intrude her privacy like that, but I thought we would be even after a good fight. Her lying to me (no cheating) and stuff (too long to talk about all of it, I don't think anyone would read through all that) would even me being a nosey bastard, I thought.
But after a while of acting cold, last night she decides it's all over. I can't grasp it. I finished college almost a year ago, still jobless (I live in a screwed up country), no future prospects. I had her. She's gone now. The thing I thought was the safest thing I ever had, thing that gave me strenght and kept me sane - is gone. She says she'll be there for me, that we'll stay friends. But I don't know how to cope with that. How am I gonna react when she tells me about her new boyfriend?
Everything reminds me of her because we formed as people together. I love her with every inch of me. What do I do? How do I get out of this self pitty. I don't remember when was the last time I cried, and now I'm acting like a damn baby.
Advice from people who were on the wrong side of ending a long lasting relationships? | Girlfriend (f26) left me (m25) after 4 years. She is all I want. What do I do? How to get through this? |
t3_fpa9t | AskReddit | Looking for 90's Ray Ban tv commercial for my friend's 30th birthday | Hi,
My friend is obsessed with this commercial he saw in middle school and he really wants to find it and has been talking for years about he can't find it (which is really annoying). He also claims that this commercial contributed to his realization that he was a homosexual. I would like to find it for him for his 30th birthday. It's a commercial for Ray Ban sunglasses. He saw it on tv sometime between 1994-1998.
The commercial features a blonde mail stripping off layers of clothing. Until he is wearing nothing. With the tag line "The only thing I need is my Ray Bans"
I've tried looking all the usual places but have come up with nothing. I have even tried e-mailing Ray Ban(no response). Any help would be much appreciated! Thanks | Looking for 90's Ray Ban commercial feature a blonde man stripping. Tag line "All I need is my Ray Bans". For my friend's birthday. |
t3_40n1bh | relationships | Me [24M] with my friend [24M] known since kindergarten, I'm always the one starting conversations/making plans | So I've been friends with *Nick* since we were both tiny. We went to the same schools until we went to different colleges. We weren't firm friends throughout, but he was one of my best friends in the last few years before college.
Then we both went to opposite ends of the country and inevitably our contact became more occasional; facebook chats every now and again, briefly seeing each other in the holidays etc. We did visit each other in our first year there, but it was a gradual cut off until we basically had no contact for a year. Until a few months ago I reached out and started a casual conversation (on facebook), we got talking again and have since met up a couple of times and basically reconnected.
HOWEVER the problem is it I literally (I don't use that phrase lightly) am always starting the conversation. I have invited him to this/that/the other a few times and he has either made excuses or ignored it. He never sends me any sort of communication without me initiating it.
This would be a dead easy situation to talk about if it was a GF, but honestly its two old friends, its *awkward*! Its like talking to a work colleague, you have to build up a proper rapport before you can hand out advice.
The intuitive reason would be "he doesn't want to be my friend as much as I do back" but I don't think its the case, he seems to spend a lot of his time on his own and seemed genuinely happy to see me when we were face to face. His excuses for not going to things I've invited him to have been genuine. I think he is just lazy; we've fallen into a pattern of me starting the conversation and he is fine with it. And I fear that if I stop doing so and wait for him to chat, we'll just lose contact again. | Reconnected with a friend, I'm having to do all the legwork in us seeing/speaking to each other and am getting annoyed at him! |
t3_39osbk | relationships | Me [ 18 M] and my girlfriend [18 F] have been together 4 months and I've had the strong urge to marry her. How should I proceed? | This is my first time posting on reddit, so sorry in advance for any errors, please be kind. So I've been with this girl for 4 months now and it's different from any relationship I've ever been in, in terms of loving deeper than I thought I was capable of, clicking so quickly and being able to just really be myself around her.
Since the moment I met her it's been a "love at first site" kind of situation for me. We always have the best times when we're together and we have a very strong loving relationship that I myself have never really experienced, as most of my relationships in the past have not worked out in the best of ways, and there's been a lot of them.
I didn't think I was capable of loving this deeply, and I find myself seeing her in everything I do, even the lame love songs on the radio that I hate make sense!
Anyway for the last month or so I've had the overwhelming feeling that she's the one for me and that I don't need to search for that special someone anymore. But as we're both still pretty young and it's only been four months, I'm unsure of how to proceed with my feelings. | I've been with this girl for 4 months and have an amazing connection with her that I've never had with anyone in my life, and have an overwhelming urge to ask her to marry me, how should I proceed with my feelings? |
t3_52ig7p | legaladvice | [MI] ExHousemate Threatening To Sue Over Belongings They Left Behind | So, I live in a house of six and we recently (end of July) had a housemate break the lease and move out. When she took the last of her things, she said anything that was left behind she didn't want.
She owed us ~$100 in her share of utilities but ignored all of our texts, phone calls, facebook messages, etc when we tried to let her know. It finally came down to one of us posting on her fb wall that we wanted to tie up loose ends with those bills with us and she flat out refused and said that when she moved out she absolved herself of responsibility for those bills.
So my super frustrated housemates decided to take a few of the items (old AC, broken TV, random electronics) she had left behind outside and smash them to relieve stress/anger/whatever since they were soon to be thrown away anyway. One of the housemates took a short clip of a sledgehammer smash and posted it on Instagram. And apparently it made her way back to her even though she had everyone in the house blocked.
I guess in the video it was her modem that she had been renting from Charter Spectrum being smashed. So she is now threatening to sue us if she gets charged with a replacememt fee.
Obviously the person who posted the video feels stupid and it was stupid, but we are all a bunch of dumbass college kids. | Can my ex housemate sue us for throwing away/breaking things that she left behind? (Assuming the modem is in her name under Charter and she will be charged a replacement fee for not returning it?) |
t3_vcnqc | relationships | I need some support reddit... | So here I am (23 years old) 6 months into marriage with a girl (22 years old) I have been in a relationship with for 6 years. Since we are both in school with little money, we live with my father and step-mom. Over the last couple months, I noticed a change in my wife. She seemed to be spending more time away from the house, seemed annoyed while she was at home, and didn't seem as interested in me. After some prodding, I found out that she hates living where we do because she hates my step-mom. On top of that, she said it has been so bad, she doesn't know if she wants to spend the rest of her life with me anymore. She said that this feeling had been building up for some time and that it has gotten worse over the last few weeks to the point where she doesn't know. She is spending tonight at her mom's to "look at the whole picture and re-evaluate her life." I am emotionally wrecked right now and she said she doesn't really know how to feel about me right now but after a night alone, she will have a better idea. So what are your opinions on the situation and what can I do to relax and make this night go by as fast as possible? | Wife doesn't know if she wants to spend rest of her life with me anymore, happening over several months, staying at her mom's to re-evaluate her life. Help! |
t3_17w5ym | relationship_advice | I [M17] really like this girl [F17] but I am a shy person and dont know what to do? | Ok so let me first start off by saying that I am sorry if this is in the wrong category, please tell me where I should put it instead.
Ok so I really like this one girl and I dont know if she likes me, last semester at school we had a class and a spare together and we would talk and hang out during that spare. We also usually hang out in a classroom at lunch, but this semester however, we dont share any classes or spares and our only option of hanging out would be at lunch.
Now this is my problem, I am an extremely shy person and I dont know what to do next, How would I go about talking to her at lunch? what would I say to her since we dont have any classes?
On top of that, what are some good ways to "flirt" or try to get her to know that I like her, especially with Valentines day coming up. My main "goal" would be to ask her to prom down the road
Thanks for your help! | I like a girl but I am too shy to talk to her now that we dont have any classes together and I dont know what to do. |
t3_bde8u | AskReddit | Domestic Partner? Insurance Fra-ud? Anyone a Guru of sorts on this stuff? | Hey guys, got a couple quick questions about something that I've got NO experience in. So, I recently graduated, got a corporate job, moved in with some good old friends, etc., etc. I get certain benefits from working with this particular company, which are awesome for me, but which would be even MORE awesome if I had someone to share them with.
**Question is:** I found out that if I claim that my roommate, one of my all-time best friends and cohorts, as my domestic partner, he'd be privy to all my benefits (work perks, insurance plans, etc.). ** Would doing this be considered fraud? **
From looking at the paperwork, there are 3 requirements:
* Must have lived together for at least 6 months.
* Must be financially inter-dependent.
* Have a "spouse-like" relationship.
Now, the first is a no-brainer. As for the second, the paper work says that we just need to have proof that we rely on each others' incomes. E.g. shared bank account, co-signed lease/mortgage, etc, which we do to an extent already (no shared bank acct, though).
The third is very open-ended it seems to me. The paperwork even has the quotations as I've marked them. Weird. I mean, does cooking and cleaning for each other count? Hanging out almost every night? Don't know.
Another big impetus for this is the fact that my roommate currently has no insurance through his job. It'd be a huge boon to him to be covered on an actual plan, even if only at a basic level.
So, anyone with any experience with this? Any advice? | Is claiming a long-time friend/roommate as a domestic partner considered fraud if you can satisfy all the requirements? |
t3_2o3zza | relationships | Me [32 M] with my girlfriend [30 F] of 10 months, How long should I give her to get serious? | I (32M) have been in a relationship with a (30F) for 10 months. I have dated many people before her, both long and short term. I have experienced my youth to the fullest and never put much thought into settling down until recently. The past couple years since I turned 30 I have been looking for someone to share more of my life with. I think I have found the woman I want to marry but there are a few road blocks. First, she is divorced and scared of settling down again. Second, she is of a much different religious background. Third, she lives in another state. We make it a point to see each other at least two weekends a month and spend as time time together as possible considering we both are on the road so much. My question is, how long should I give her to be ready to settle down and get married before I "cut my losses" and move on? Is six months appropriate? A year? | Been dating 10 months and want to settle down while she doesn't. How long do I give her before I move on? |
t3_4ojaq9 | relationships | My (18m) girlfriend of 6 months (18f) might break up with me because she saw that I told another girl I liked her | She broke up with me before because I asked for an apology after she hurt me by ignoring me for no reason after we talked about why that's hurtful to me. I felt sad and just started messaging a random girl on snapchat that I never even talked to before. We talked about our days and that's it, I left. The next day my girlfriend called crying that she wants to be with me. We both apologized and were back together, and that girl that I talked to messaged me again and said "Lmao you two are back together" so I said "I had no one else to date, I liked you a lot but your too far away" and I feel like complete shit for saying it because it's totally not true. I love my girlfriend very much and I've never connected with anyone as much as with her, shes my best friend and I was her best friend. I am still in highschool and I am working two weeks in a row for 7 hours every day after 8 hours of school sanding paint off decks and doing yard work so I could afford buying her a firework show for our 6 months and have other money to spend on her to make her happy.. yesterday I got a splinter in my eye from sanding.. I really do love her and I stopped talking to the other girl the day that we got back together, other then when she replied "lmao your back together". My girlfriend figured out my password and sneaked on my phone while I was at the bathroom and read over the messages. I know what I said was wrong the minute I said it and I didn't talk to that other girl after I said that; I didn't want to feel desperate for my girlfriend after we broke up and I felt like that other girl liked me and I didn't want to hurt her by saying that I didn't like her... I wouldn't trade my girlfriend for anything and I would do anything to take it back, but now she asked for a week of space and told me not to talk to her while she thinks about it. Will she most likely break up with me? What should I do? | girlfriend snooped on my phone and saw that I told another girl I liked her a lot, and that I said I was only with my GF because I had no one else |
t3_2trzif | relationships | I [21/F] need advice on how to confront my friend [22/F] about her passive-aggressive jabs at my other friends. | To make this short, I and the afore-mentioned friend met and befriended each other three years ago because we were in the same fandom.
This past summer, I befriended someone else in the same fandom, who in turn introduced me to their friends so now my Skype and phone contact list has never been bigger. The problem is that my friend (let's call her Kira) is now constantly making passive-aggressive jabs on multiple platforms of social media (Twitter/Instagram/Facebook/Tumblr, etc.) at my newer circle of friends. Kira does not like these people, despite the fact that they've never interacted personally. She never once hinted to me that she hated them or may have had some sort of run-ins with them, and the new group of friends have told me that they actually *enjoyed* what commentary Kira had to say about issues in our fandom. They are stunned that someone they've never talked to hates them with a passion.
I've reached my breaking point - she is going around making extremely aggressive jabs at a particular person in the group (but isn't naming them, surprise surprise). It's gone from a once/twice a week thing to twice/three times *every day*.
My question now is, how can I confront Kira about her posts in a non-aggressive manner? | Longtime friend is very jealous/making posts directed at new circle of friends, need advice on how to confront her about it |
t3_hyxh7 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit Salesmen: How do I make something worth buying? | Context: I'm in college, not taking summer classes. Through family, I've been handed a business opportunity that involves selling a tech related product to hospitals, large educational institutions, shopping centres, etc. In a nutshell, the company wants someone overseas (I'm a international student) to put together a "presentation" for their company.
My question is this: When IT people look through brochures or whatever, what is it that they look for? What do people want to see in a product? This isnt like a solar panel; I cant just straight up say "Its going to save you $X over Z years", its more of a information related tool. I've never attempted anything like this before so I'd like to hear any opinions on what it takes to sell something, specifically making an interesting "something" that I can send off and spark interest in potential clients. | What does it take to make a product aimed at large institutions worth buying? What do they look for? Tips, anything would be appreciated. |
t3_1pgo5q | personalfinance | My friends horribly unfortunate medical debt situation. | This might be the wrong subreddit and for that I apologize in advance. I would like to start by saying I really tried to Google this, but its a pretty specific situation. I am not 100 percent clear on the details as I don't want to come across as too nosey, but this sounds too shady for me to not try and help.
My friend moved out of state for a few years and got extremely ill a few days before she was supposed to come home. She went to the hospital feeling very weak where she was basically told nothing serious was wrong with her. They suggested some over the counter medication and sent her on her way. She drove about 10 hours home(miraculously), and upon entering her house her mom immediately forced her to go back to the hospital. This time the doctor was able to recognize the symptoms, and prescribed her the appropriate antibiotics. The doctor also noted that a few more days without professional attention and her body may have actually shut down.
Now im not too sure on how the medical expenses break down between the two hospitals, but she ends up 9k in debt because she has no medical insurance. Is there anything that can be done? It seems pretty asinine that a hospital can charge you thousands of dollars for a misdiagnosis, especially one that severe. Maybe im just that naive though... | Friend gets sick with no medical insurance, and ends up with 9k in debt between two hospital visits, the first visit she was misdiagnosed. |
t3_36yfr7 | Advice | There's this girl I like. I like her a great deal. I'm babysitting her 2 and a half year old boy. | I met her at school and we've been talking for about 2 weeks now through Facebook and more recently, texting.
Anyway, I have offered to babysit her 2 and a half year old boy on Sunday. I'm doing it because I think it is a great opportunity to learn more about her. I have very little experience babysitting kids this young, but I'm sure I could pull it off. I want to do better than that though. I want to do an amazing job!
What advice does Reddit have to make sure the boy has a kickass time and I can look awesome to his mother? | I'm infatuated with a girl that has a 2 and a half year old boy. I'm babysitting him Sunday, advice? |
t3_4a1oy6 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my boyfriend [20 M] of almost 2 years, am i wrong for being upset? | So basically, we had been planning a trip to go to Los Angeles sometime in April and it was something I was really looking forward to. We were finally going to book the trip on March 1st because we had both been paid and HE wanted to book it that day. I spent that whole day trying to find good, but cheap hotels and flights and eventually did find some great deals. But, when he got home from work that night, he "wanted to look it up for himself to make sure this was the best deal." This was understandable to me, as I could wait another day to get this booked. But, the next day rolls by and he hasn't done any research or mentioned it at all. I decide to let it slide and allow him to come to me when he finds something.
Well, apparently I let it slide for too long. He hadn't mentioned the trip at all until earlier this week, when he said to me:
"Hey, so change of plans for the trip. I'm going to go down to CA with my friend Rilee, we are gonna go there on April 7th and she's going to leave on the 10th. You can fly down on that day and we can just spend the next few days here together!"
This instantly infuriated me. I felt so... slighted. To me, this was a very selfish thing to do and I didn't agree to it for a second. I was mad and I let him know that it really hurt me that he was gonna do this, but he STILL doesn't care. Actually, yesterday he booked his flights with his friend and didn't tell me, I had actually found out from his twitter. I let him know AGAIN how upset it is making me that he is just dropping our trip for his friend, but he keeps saying that "You can still go, it's still our trip and I'm not doing anything wrong. I would've agreed to this if you wanted to do this."
..... | I just feel so disappointed and the fact that he doesn't even think he's done anything wrong makes it worse. Am I the one who's wrong here or is he actually being extremely selfish? |
t3_3pl054 | personalfinance | Wife's Parents are asking her to sign some trust documents, need advice? | Apologies for the long post: I'm looking for a little advice here, regarding any possible risk being associated with a trust. I'm particularly concerned with anything that might open us up to being responsible for debt acquired by the in-laws.
Background: Both 29, no debts other than a modest mortgage, no kids, both work full time.
The in-laws recently inherited a large sum of money when one of their last remaining parents passed away earlier this year. Both of the in-laws have severe health problems, and were concerned about passing any assets to their three children if something were to happen to them. They decided to open a trust with a financial company I won't name and add their three children as members of the trust.
My wife brought home some paperwork to fill out at the request of Merrill lynch asking for her demographic information (SSN, name, etc). I wasn't too concerned about that, as it seemed to be standard beneficiary stuff. However, they also wanted a W9 filled out, as well as information about my SSN and our average household income. This seemed strange to me, but may be typical when being added to a trust.
My Concerns:
My in-laws are absolutely terrible with money. I found out that before they could even access the inheritance money, they borrowed a significant amount against it that investment account because they couldn't actually withdraw the money until the probate / death process was complete. That may be normal, but that's a huge red flag to me.
If this is truly a trust (my wife is trying to contact the company to get specific details), is there any financial risk of being added to a trust or is the relationship simply a beneficiary one with additional tax benefits? | In-laws asked wife to sign trust paperwork. I'm skeptical we'll be on the hook for something since in-laws are awful with money. |
t3_4cgaua | relationships | My[21F] boyfriends[25M] bed gives me bad lower back pain. We are moving in together. How to fix? | Hi reddit. I really just want to know if anyone has had to deal with this before and what their fixes were.
So my boyfriend knows that his bed gives me bad back pain, but he's in love with his mattress. It's super comfortable for him and he sleeps great. I've started sleeping with my old dorm mattress topper on my side of the bed and it has helped a little bit.
But now we are moving in together and I need a more permanent solution as the mattress topper still doesn't provide the support I need for my back. We can't really afford a new mattress and my mattress is staying at my moms for her guest room.
Has anyone else had to deal with this? What did you end up doing? Could I possibly just find a better mattress topper and keep going with that? What are the cheapest options? | My boyfriends bed is too soft for my back, gives me back pain. He loves it, thinks its comfortable. Moving in together, what fix can I do so I can sleep comfortably? |
t3_39g0u9 | relationships | I[29 M] was dumped by my girlfriend[27F] of 7 months but I don't understand why. | We met online last fall, met up, and instantly made a connection. We spent the holidays together and said we loved each other on New Years Eve. Back in January she suddenly became distant. I later found out that she was mad that I didn't take her to a certain event that I couldn't afford to take her to. At that time I was getting back on my feet financially (I still am honestly). She currently makes more money than me but I usually pay for everything.
We took a break (extremely limited contact) in January, reconnected in April, and now we're off again. I don't understand why this is all happening. Usually I would just brush it off and let it go but I love her. I even started shopping for rings which is something I've never done. | I can't get over my ex because I think it's meant to be and she can't give me a reason why she doesn't want to be together. (Yes I understand that no reason is reason enough but still...) |
t3_1xoqg8 | loseit | Any other women with PCOS willing to offer some pointers? | When I was 14, I gained 50lbs very unexpectantly (within 4 months. I suppose I know why now; severe trama in my life, whacky ass diet, redused to leave the house.)
I've been at the same weight (or within 10lbs) since then. But i havent been happy with my looks since, because the weight I was at 14 was perfect for me. I felt healthy and happy, so ive tried getting back to that. I've done some very dramatic life style changes to try and combat the weight, to no avail.
Eventually, I got so physically sick and unhealthy (GI issues that didn't make sense), so I saw a nutritionist to see where the issues could be coming from. Her mild exam and assessment of my issues had her urging me to go to a gynocologist and have testing done to eliminate or diagnose PolyCystic Overy Syndrom before she would consider diatary changes, because she didn't see much need for it.
So, I went, and it was confirmed I do have PCOS. No life-shattering news, because I was told it could be managed. The only thing is that I was told it would explain the sudden gain, and inability to lose weight like I was.
Now, I know the weight wouldn't magically go away with treatment, but it is still very difficult. I was tracking my intake and activity extensively, and I was at the point where my activity exceeded my caloric intake, but I was still maintaining tge same weight, while not in a state where it should be that way.
I was hoping for some feedback from other women, or men that know other women with PCOS; things I can try to get some result. Even from anyone who still would like to give me some suggestions. I'm just tired of the pattern. | Girl with PCOS has been the same weight for 4 years, even with extensive life style changes, and activity level exceeding caloric intake. Just looking for some suggestions from anyone that would like to give me some ideas! |
t3_3l11hv | relationships | I (24M) feel like I'm pushing my girlfriend (20F) of 5 months away due to my insecurities, is the relationship too far gone? | It started very casual but we soon realised we were a good match, we both need time for our hobbies and friends to be happy and we understood that. I have a daughter (2F) from a previous relationship, I was incredibly worried at first that this would he a problem but they absolutely love each other.
Due to work, college, hobbies and having a baby, the time we get to spend with each other is becoming very limited.
This didn't really matter as we were so close, until I showed her a message I'd sent to my ex, the mother of my child, in which I'd told her my uni results before anyone else. I didn't do it because I still like her, she was literally the first person to ask, but my girlfriend felt betrayed, and I can see her reasoning. To regain her trust I've based my relationship with my ex solely around my daughter, as the last thing I want to do is push my new partner away.
Despite this, my girlfriends become increasingly distant, expecting my ex to either attempt to befriend me again, or try and have an argument with me.
Honestly I'm really surprised she's stuck around this long, there is a lot to take on board for this relationship to work, and the fact she's still with me shows how much she cares.
But recently I feel like I've been pushing her away, messaging her way more than she messages me, she's less affectionate and tighter with romantic gestures. She has explained that she's worried that the lack of time we have, plus my ex, could ruin what we have, and she's distanced herself because of this and is trying to trust me again.
But so far there hasn't been much improvement which has left me feeling clingy, not in control, and unattractive compared to myself at the start of the relationship due to mu insecurities.
How do I reignite what we had? Or is it a lost cause that I should break off? | I think my insecurities are wrecking a great thing that fell into my life. Need to get my mojo back or leave. |
t3_4vvipe | relationships | Me [25 F] with my ex-fiance [27 M] when is it ok to get rid of the ring? | I broke up with my ex boyfriend (fiance I guess) 2 years ago about a week after he proposed. We were on a vacation with his family when he did it, so I said yes as to not embarrass him. We were in a long distance relationship since I had moved for work, so I went back to where I lived right from the trip. He had been planning to move there with me. Long story short all of this was moving so fast and it made me realized I loved him but wasn't in love with him and we broke up.
He still has yet to speak to me after 2 years. Since I live half way across the country from him, I wasn't able to return the ring to him. Now I've been holding on to it for 2 years, he still won't talk to me. I'm in a new relationship that is getting more serious, 10 months, and I want to be rid of it because my new bf is uncomfortable with me having another man's engagement ring and frankly I just want to be rid of the responsibility of having it and the reminder it brings.
So my question is what do I do with it? Should I just pawn it or something? How can I get this ring out of my life? | I broke up with my bf/fiance 2 years ago and he won't speak to me so I can return the ring. What do I do with it now and is it appropriate to just pawn it? |
t3_2063ra | relationships | Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [20/M] wants to experience sex with other women? | Me [19/F] and my boyfriend [18/M] have been in a relationship comming up on 3 years, and have known each other almost 5 years. We are both D1 collegiate athletes and because of this he is required to play in the summer. We go to the same school across the country but originally from northern california.
Last year in August, he was being sort of suspicious and I snooped for the first time ever and found out that he as flirting with someone who I knew and was also in the same travel program as him. They would flirt and practice together. He told me that he wanted to have sex with someone else to see what that feels like. We then took a break do he can discover sex with other people. We were supposed to be on a break for 2 weeks, and after 3 days he begged me to have an exclusive relationship with him. Since then I have been suspicious about his phone and have some resentment towards him for hurting me. I am still working on trusting him with other people.
Now that summer is coming up soon we have talked about our relationship over the summer. I know that I can last without being next to him and still be 100% comminted, mentally, sexually, and emotionally.
He proposed that taking a break would be the easiest solution.
Thsi would mean that I dont ask him about what he doing and who is 'seeing' if he is. A part of me feels hurt and disgusted that he wants other girls. I can't stand the thought of him having sex with other women; it upsets me. At the same time maybe he should have sex with other women during the break so he wont have to worry about experiencing other people when we are realy deep in to the relationship/marriage.
I need help with outside opinions, ways to get over my resentment toward him and trust strategies... what do you think I should do? | we are both in a comitted relationship with each other and plan to have this conversation about the summer when it gets closer to the end of the season. |
t3_nbt81 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, I would like to hear your greatest tales of redemption. Allow me to begin. | Back in high school I was on our (soccer) team which was performing quite well that season. We were in the running for our first regional championship, playing in the finals of the tournament. I played sweeper/last defender for our team.
The game started out pretty slowly and eventually each exchanged a goal. 70 minutes into the game (HS games were only 80 minutes) I was going one on one with the other team's striker. He got a long ball which went over the other defenders giving him an open field with me standing between him and the goalie. I could hear my friends in the crowd cheering me on as I was keeping up with the guy and about to go in for the tackle when he juked left (i bit) and cut right, and pocketed the left corner of the net. I could see our fans in shock, hands on their heads and the other guy celebrating what seemed to be the game winning goal.
Fast forward to kickoff and time running out. At this point the team was in desperation mode and was going full offense. I got the ball and was dribbling up the field when I decided to blast the ball from between the 10 yard line and center circle. The wind carried the ball and it deflected off an opposing defender's ass and into the goal.
We won the game in penalties. | Played in soccer championship, got my ass handed, then deflected a shot off another guy's ass. We won. |
t3_33dx7t | relationships | I [25F] don't like my coworker[24F] and we work at a very social and event driven company | Hi r/relationships, new redditor here and I have really enjoyed reading your help to others. Thank you for reading this.
I got a new job at my dream company. The company I work for places a LOT of emphasis and importance on team building, events, and doing good for the community we live in. That's a huge reason why I love it here. However, there is a girl I work closely with who has made things more difficult than I'd like.
We should be best friends on paper. We share many hobbies, interests, and beliefs. I was so excited when we met, sure that we'd be fast friends. However, that hasn't been the case. She alternates between saying really sweet things, and then being passive aggressive and rude about very personal matters- my weight, relationship status, method of work, etc. I was alarmed by the way I saw her treating others in the office and realized that that was quickly happening to me.
I really think her reasons for rudeness stem from jealousy or insecurity- we are SO similar that many people were comparing us, which I have asked people politely and privately to stop doing. The comparisons were unfortunately not favorable to her, which made me feel really uncomfortable. Still, it was happening, and I think that's what caused her sudden shift towards me. The most confusing part is that she still asks me to hang out constantly.
How can I handle putting space between us without causing drama or hurting her feelings? I don't want to make things awkward at work, but I know I do not want to pursue a close friendship with her. Our company is so social that I do not want to isolate myself from events and harm my chances for advancement simply for my distaste of one person. | Coworker treats me rudely, with passive aggressive tactics but still tries to be friends- how can I professionally and politely turn down her advances and get her to stop? |
t3_3zzxe7 | relationships | I [M18] just found out my GF [F18] had sex with another guy. | Sorry guys I've literally hardly ever posted to reddit, let alone r/relationships but I really don't know what to do. The situation I'm in is kinda complicated and may seem a bit absurd which is why I don't know where else to go. So I've been dating my GF for 3 years now with break ups happening occasionally in between (a lot of that stems from my religion preventing me from dating so there are complications). Well last summer we had about the span of a week where we decided to put out relationship on hold but still continued talking despite not being directly together. It's important to note that I'm still a virgin because to me it's a huge deal losing it (I know that sounds lame/dumb but I just wanted to wait to lose it). Well my GF has been trying to convince me to have sex with her for some time now but I always tell her that I will once I feel ready. Well one of my friends just told me what she had sex with another guy in that week we were broken up. When I confronted her about it she denied it but however came clean after a bit of questioning. I know this doesn't sound major or anything but what has been annoying me is that she knows how much sex means to me yet she was willing to take my virginity( and remember I didn't know she wasn't a virgin until she finally cracked under pressure) without me knowing that she wasn't a virgin. I've been distant ever since I found out not just because of the fact that she had sex with another guy (I know it wasn't technically cheating because we weren't together) but because I had to find out from someone else and I feel like she wouldn't have told me if I had not found out for myself. And I overreacting or am I right to be mad? Should I keep distant or should I try to talk it through and work it out? She's my best friend, so should I break things off but keep her as a friend? Again I don't really post much but I had to get this off my chest and needed to know what you guys think. | complicated relationship with my girlfriend that results in her having sex with another guy while we are taking a "break" and her not telling me |
t3_3dmama | relationships | Me [30 M] with my girlfriend [30 F] of 2 years, are breaking up but still very much in love. Advice on handling grief? | My gf and I have been living together for about as long as we've been together (2yrs). We even moved to another country last May, and have been living in England. We are totally smitten with each other, but the time to end it as come. She wants kids and I'm snipped (had a vasectomy years ago), and don't want kids. We've talked a lot, and given our circumstances we've decided that our only resolution is to split. I'll be moving back to my country and she'll stay in the one we're living in. Please feel free to share stories and offer insight into dealing with grief and how to stay positive amidst the constant threat (or otherwise presence) of depression. Thanks. | We are in love but are splitting over our differences in wanting children (and not wanting children). Do you have any methods on handling grief? |
t3_123em2 | AskReddit | Reddit, what are your crazy neighbor stories? | Mine has been an ongoing story throughout this week. It all started when my one neighbor, Mr. X reports to the police that my other neighbor, Mr. Z is driving too fast on our street. Mr. Z responded to this by reporting that Mr. X was driving too slow, as any calm and stable individual would. Then to escalate matters even more, Mr. Z decides the next best thing to do would be to attempt to run over Mr. X. So he sits and waits for Mr. X, and eventually he sees him, and drives his truck right into him and drives off. Luckily, Mr. X only broke his hand and maybe dirtied his underwear. In retialiation to this retialiation, Mr. X then proceeded to grab a bat from his house and go Brittany spears on Mr. Z's truck and windows. I just found out about this today, and it really explains why I looked out my window and saw cops on my lawn. Really wish I would have known that before I flushed all that meth. Anyways, after hearing this all, I wanted to hear some of all your wacky neighbor stories. | neighbour reports other neighbour for speeding, neighbour gets revenge by reporting the other for going too slow and hitting with a truck, other neighbour gets revenge on revenge with a baseball bat. |
t3_23d92m | relationships | I've [28 M] been with my gf [32 F] for 5 years, I've been having reoccurring dreams about another girl and don't know what to do | I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years. She's wonderful, attractive, and our families and friends are intertwined. And I love her.
However, I have been having reoccurring dreams about a younger sister of a friend of mine. A number of years ago I hooked up (made out) with this younger sister, but she was too young at the time (17 and I was 21) for me to feel comfortable doing anything else. I could always tell that she was attracted to me, and one night she had started making out with me while I was pretty inebriated. I didn't do much to stop her, but I did refuse to take it any further.
Since then we have always had a sexually tense relationship and have remained close since she is invited to a lot of things that my friend is involved with (parties, events, etc.) and I see her fairly frequently (every several months). Years ago we had talked about hooking up again after she was in college, but I have never been single since then. Now it's many years later, she's in her mid-twenties and I have been having a reoccurring dream where we sleep together and I don't know what to do.
I don't want to break up with my girlfriend, but these dreams don't seem to go away, and it does feel like there is "unfinished business" whenever I see this younger girl. I will preface by saying that this is not an "attractiveness" thing. Both women are very attractive in their own different ways. And both have great personalities, although the younger girl has more of a wilder/sexy streak in her than my girlfriend. And maybe I find that somewhat attractive.
I am not looking for advice saying "go cheat on your girlfriend," that's out of the question. | Have a girlfriend and have been having reoccurring dreams about a girl who I have "unfinished business" with. |
t3_28pdfv | relationships | My (21f) Boyfriend (21m) of 2 years is possibly seeing another girl? | Hi.. I did a bad thing earlier (snooped on BF) and now I'm paying for it. I caught messages between him a female coworker... This is the same coworker that he has avoided telling me about in the past. Ex: He went to the movies with her, his brother, and possibly a male cousin of his. I only found out about this when his SIL posted a status on FB
tagging them in it.
So anyways, I'm borrowing my boyfriend's old phone at the moment since mine broke earlier today. A lot of his stuff is still signed in, including FB for some reason, so I got curious. I logged out of it after a message or two (honestly).
As awful as it sounds, I'm pissed at myself for not reading more. I kind of freaked out and closed out of it automatically.
I normally have more trust in him, I'm not sure what was going through my mind :( I wouldn't care about this usually but it's just that he works with this girl all day, hangs out with her sometimes, but still tries to avoid saying anything about her to me.
Am I upset for no reason? I feel like I have some reason to be upset but I don't know how to talk to him about this.. Should I just pretend it never happened and try to forget about it? | Did a shitty thing and snooped on BF, found him talking to female coworker he always says/acts like he has nothing to do with (even though they hang out outside of work). |
t3_dpdkf | books | So I never realized how expansive the Harry Potter fandom is... | So I'm visiting my girlfriend in Boston, and I was informed of my brother having a "thing" in Boston while I was there. He's a musician who tours around a bit, so I thought it would be nice to go and see whatever it was he was doing.
I got there with my girlfriend, a bit late, and we found a building filled to overflowing with tons of people dancing to music. Turns out he was touring with a bunch of other groups. So as we were standing in the back, near the merch tables, my girlfriend realized the that one of the people standing near us was from a group she used to listen to a lot when she was younger: the Remus Lupins.
A bunch of other groups were there as well, the Skyway Fliers, ALL CAPS, the Ministry of Magic, and the Oceanic Six.
Anyway, completely aside from the surreality of seeing a group of people singing along with my brother to one of the songs he wrote, I never knew that Harry Potter had spawned so many dedicated musical groups. It was also pretty cool to see internet culture leaked out into real life. | I went to one of my brothers shows, and it was filled with Harry Potter themed music groups. I was surprised. |
t3_4tyltc | dogs | [Discussion] Vaccine clinics: yes or no? | As it happens, all three of my pets are due for several boosters at around the same time. I can drag them all in and spend somewhere in the $750 range (including an exam fee for each pet) or I can get them all up to date for under $300 at the nearest vaccine clinic.
They have all had exams with our vet in the last six months and are in great health so they don't really need the physical exam portion of the vet visit.
I want to have a good relationship with my vet practice and I don't want to take money out of their pockets but I am having a hard time justifying the expense for a few booster shots. | Are vaccine clinics a last resort if you're going through a hard time and can't afford to get your dog vaccinated any other way or a nice option for anyone getting up to date on some boosters once in awhile? |
t3_f3vu0 | relationship_advice | Do you have to decide whether or not to answer calls or text from your SO? | **30 year old guy looking for a reality check here:** When the girl I'm seeing (also 30) calls me, I answer without hesitation (unless I'm in the gym, in the shower, or at a movie). When she leaves me a voicemail, I always call her back. When she texts, I respond as soon as it's convenient, even if just to say I'm busy or I don't feel like talking.
We've been on-and-off for a year but things have gotten serious in the last three months (saying we love each other, discussing living together, etc.). When we were "off" I didn't contact her often, but always answered when she called or sent a text since we've been friends for years.
Last week she stopped answering my calls and texts. At first I assumed she was busy with work, but she was still posting and commenting on Facebook regularly. I was worried enough by Sunday that I asked one of her friends if she knew what was going on. Her friend said she didn't think anything was wrong, but told my SO I'd asked which caused her to finally talk to me again.
Her explanation was that she always has to think about whether or not to answer when I call or reply when I text, and that (for no specific reason) she had just been deciding not to answer recently. I was flabbergasted because (unless I'm incredibly busy or upset) it would never occur to me to not answer her calls or texts. | I answer every call or text from my SO without hesitation. She says she has to decide to answer, even when she's not busy or upset. What do you do? Could you be with someone who does the opposite? |
t3_2h9r6f | relationships | Is my FI (25m) of 7 years bored with me (25f)? | I'd say we have a pretty chill relationship. We are usually very open with each other, have frequent love making sessions, enjoy the same hobbies and have fun with life. We're well off money-wise and own a home together. Last month he proposed. I was so happy and of course said yes. Last night however.... I was kind of shocked. I was in the kitchen making dinner and noticed the clock in my kitchen was super wrong, so I went to go find my phone for the right time but it was dead. My FI left his phone on the table and was in the bathroom, so I picked up his phone to see the time. When I unlocked it, the notification screen had like 6 posts from these apps: Badoo & Tinder. I didn't read them, but put the phone back down because I heard the bathroom door opening. He came in the kitchen and was helping get the table all set up for dinner and put his phone in his pocket.
I didn't know what those apps were until I googled them. Dating apps??? I'm so confused... why would he be active on those apps...especially since HE PROPOSED TO ME. If he is really bored of me and is active on those apps, what is the point of wanting to marry me?
He doesn't act bored at all.. he gives me a kiss good morning and does all the things that someone who loves you does...
Obviously the thing to do is to ask him why he is on those apps...but how do I go about asking him without sounding like a psycho overly-attached girlfriend? Has anyone been in a similar situation? What was the outcome? | He proposed to me a month ago, I saw on his phone by accident he is active on a bunch of dating apps. How do I ask him to explain himself? What do? |
t3_2bth3a | relationships | Me [20 M] and my gf[18] havent seen each other in 2 weeks & she thinks shes pregnant! | My gf of two years and 2 months thinks shes pregnant. The day before she leaves for a family vacation (that is supposed to last a week), she calls me telling me she missed her period.
First thing that came to mind was pregnancy.....so we aggreed that when she came she would take a pregnancy test. I brought the option of abortion because im not ready to have a child and neither is she. We both have futures, both attend college, and it would just be a bad idea to have a child so soon. That same night we got into an argument about the topic and she got furious with me. She called me selfish for wanting an abortion.....but all i was doing was explaining to her we cant have a child this early. To have a child it costs money and thats something we dont have. At least if we invest in our own futures now and have kids later, we can provide our children with what they need when they need it. I can admit i did kind of did pressure her on the topic of abortion and i apologized the next day, but everything was just getting thrown at my face at the moment that i apparently sounded selfish. She was mad at me for a couple of days and things started getting better within time, but things still dont feel right....at least by the way she texts me.....things feel different.
She came back home today and we are planning on seeing each other tomorrow. I want for her to take a pregnancy test so we can either celebrate that she isnt pregnant or to at least start talking about our next step. Worse case scenario she is pregnant.....how can i bring up the topic of abortion and any helpful advice on how i can convince her that we arent ready to have a child? | havent seen my gf in two weeks and she thinks shes pregnant! Need advice for when i see her tomorrow. |
t3_24hsx8 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] 5 years, obsessed with the gym | So here's the deal: my boyfriend of 5 years used to be overweight. He got into eating well and going to the gym about 5 years ago, and has changed his body considerably. Now, however, he has become obsessed about going! He goes 4 days a week, after work, for about 1.5 hours. I don't think this is too much: in fact, I normally go with him. The issue isn't the quantity, it's the obsessiveness of it. He CANNOT miss a day! It doesn't matter what comes up, he has a set 4 days he goes at the same time, and he will not miss it no matter what. He already works late, so it takes away a lot of our "free" time together in the evenings. I know it's important to him, though, which is why I'm okay with it and support him. This evening, we had a huge fight over it and I'm just not sure how to deal with it going forward. Here's a synopsis:
Today was an extremely warm day, and I spent it home alone wishing he were here so we could enjoy it. Soon before he got off of work, I decided it would be fun if we skipped the gym and enjoyed the weather: we could talk, make drinks, BBQ in the backyard, etc. I suggested it to him and before I could finish talking, he walked off. I chased him and finished my request, and he just laughed and went to get ready for the gym. Finally he said if I wanted to stay home, fine, but he was going. He said if I wanted to enjoy the day I needed to tell him long in advance so he could go to the gym at some point during work. I blew up and told him I was sick of him being so rigid about this, and he stormed out (to go to the gym of course!).
So, am I being unreasonable to ask for some flexibility? Should I just let him do his thing and never interfere, or is his obsession real? Is there any advice anyone can give about how to deal with this: I don't want it to ruin our relationship and yet it seems every major fight we have somehow comes back to this! | BF goes to the gym constantly and won't ever skip a day, even if it's an unusual circumstance. It's driving me nuts and I don't know how to deal with it, or if the problem is mine or his! |
t3_2v19m0 | tifu | Tifu by honking at a funeral | Tifu.... and I am a bad of douche. I was on my way to work and running a little behind. I am a police officer and work routine patrol in the area. That being said, I see people pull dumb moves on the road 5 days a week, 8 hrs a day. So I'm on my way there and am stopped at a red light. My light turns green and I see an suv proceed through the intersection after their light turned red. Assuming is was a run of the mill jerk I lay on my horn and threw my hands in the air. Then I notice as I sped angrily past that they have their hazards on. Then I notice that several vehicles in front of them have their hazards on, and they were headed for the local cemetary. I honked at a funeral procession. | Thought a car was running a red light and honked, glared, made a wtf gesture. car was part of a funeral procession. Felt like a bag of douche. |
t3_2ya63n | relationships | Bf(28m) and me(23f) need help keeping our effort up. | My boyfriend of 3.5 years and I are at a tipping point in our relationship. We are truly in love and we enjoy being together. We are best friends and IMO soulmates. There are a couple issues personally and interpersonally though that can either make or break the relationship.
Personally neither one of us are making enough money at our jobs, he's not following his passions and I've been lazy on my own goals. Interpersonally we have a dissatisfactory sex life. Because of the stress in our own lives, this brings stress and attention to the problem of inconsistent sex and lack of intimacy.
The problem we are having is the same. We both feel disconnected and we both just want more intimacy and a deeper connection. Every time we fight, whatever it's about, it always boils down to that simple problem. We can't seem to find a solution that works for us. For a few days we'll have more sex and be more present with each other, but after that we go back to the same routine of no effort.
We have a routine everyday of waking up, making coffee and then sitting on the couch watching different alt. media new sources and smoking our cannabis. Somehow we manage to just sit there for hours and neither one of us has any ideas on what we could do differently to connect more and use our time together more wisely. A lot of times we will both be on our phones too! Yuck! Lately I've been leaving my phone in the other room so I won't be tempted to look on FB or Reddit lol
We both know this is the problem. Like I said before, we usually fight and then for a couple days we'll be really into focusing on each other and we'll try to do more involved activities but then we always fall back into the boring routine of sitting inside doing nothing. Do any of you have this problem? Where you know what the problem is and it gets fixed for a few days but then returns? What do/did you and your SO do to really fix things for good? | bf and I want to make a solid change in our relationship and need advice on how to keep up our effort, especially during personal stressful times. |
t3_1124w9 | AskReddit | Due to an apparent loop-hole, I get free internet. Should I let it continue? | I recent moved and set up internet service with a provider in the area. I purchase my own modem and router to avoid monthly fees. I installed the hardware on my own.
Before moving I had made an appointment for a house visit to set up the service and decided to do it myself. I simply called the provider for my account number and canceled the home service. The account number was all I needed and was done with it.
A few months passed, I never got a bill. I attempted to log into my account with the provider and they have no record of it. They even called me at one point and asked why I canceled the home visit. I told the rep that I took care of it myself and gave him the service start date so that they could start billing. No bill, and I still have service.
What should I do? I like the free service but if I have problems in the future or they find out, I don't want to be at the end of a very angry phone call (or worse). Thoughts, concerns, general advice from an internet provider rep? (Fingers crossed) | I am getting free internet from a provider without their knowledge. I don't know if I should do the right thing (The $40/month thing), or the free thing (AKA the wrong thing). |
t3_15xzci | cats | Poop stuck in my cats ass hair :( | Hi!
My little Texas is a siberian cat and thou his pappers say medium length hair I would consider him a long hair breed (about 2 inches). His hair kept getting longer the older he got and now, at 7 months, it has gotten so long that he cannot properly poop. Or well, he can, but it gets stuck in his ass hair. We are using a litter box with sand which is supposed to stick to the poop but some of his poop never even reaches the the sand, it getts entangled in a massive jungle of asshair. It is very, very gross to pluck small turds from your cats hair. It happens almost every time he poops, has anyone had this issue and solved it? Is this a common issue? I'm thinking about shaving his ass.. | Cat has gotten longer hair and now poop gets stuck in his asshair. How do I fix this? Is it normal? |
t3_3us514 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my fiancé [30M], together 4 years, won't buy me an engagement ring. | Ben and I have been together 4 years, living together for 2, and engaged for about a year. We plan to get married next fall. Neither of us are really big on marriage, but since we'd been together so long and both our families kept asking about it, we figured we might as well get hitched.
Now, Ben never really did a big proposal or anything, which I'm fine with, but I really really want a diamond ring. I've always loved the aesthetics of diamonds and I told him so.
However, Ben has always been a bit frugal to the point of being miserly. We are both making very comfortable incomes, no student loans or cc debt, but he hates spending money. For example, he hates spending money on gifts for people, going out to eat, etc. I am not talking about ridiculously lavish things either, we can easily afford to go to the movies once in awhile but he won't go unless we go to the discount theater showing old films for a buck on certain week nights.
All other aspects of our relationship are great except this one. We share finances, which is why I haven't just bought myself a ring. I'm willing to compromise with a lab diamond but he keeps saying the whole ring thing is a stupid tradition. I feel like even if he thinks it's stupid, surely the fact that it matters to me should count for something. The one I want is easily affordable for us, not some crazy thing either. Am I being unreasonable? | Frugal fiancé won't buy me a ring, even though we can afford it and I really want one. Is it unreasonable of me to be upset? |
t3_34msx0 | tifu | TIFU By Jizzing On My Nephew [NSFW] | Okay, this happened a little more than three years ago when I was 21. My wife and I were staying with my parents as we had just moved out of our apartment, and we were going to move into a new one. Anyway, we were staying in the basement bedroom as it was the largest, was out of everyone's way, and was pretty soundproof. Being this secluded, we fucked the shit out of each other. My little garbage can next to my bed was filled to the brim with used condoms.
Now, all of my nephews were over one day, and they LOVE their uncle Cyram. I mean, I am the coolest guy in the world to these kids and they want to come right to my room and play my video games and talk to me. One of my nephews, who was seven at the time, I think, is curious about all of these things were in my trash can. I didn't notice it soon enough, but he picks one up and holds it above his head as he's walking to me asking "Uncle Cyram, what's this?" and I watch in horror as a glimmering glob of my chromosomes falls right onto his face.
This is when my sister (his mom) walks in, and both of us stand there, moths agape at the sight of this. We hesitated longer than we should have, but we got him cleaned up very quickly and laughed about the whole thing. Honestly, I can't wait until he's in his late teenage years so I can tell him all about this! Needless to say, I still tie my condoms up to this day! My nephews still come over to my house to visit so I have to be sure this NEVER EVER happens again! | Nephews came over to visit, one of them grabs a condom out of my trashcan and the jizz from it fell onto his face. |
t3_1hgu0r | AskReddit | Have audio proof but is this going too far? Will it even help or make me seem desperate? | I need your brutal opinion and advice, reddit. Long story: The ex and I broke up 8 years ago, I held primary custody (out of court) of our 2 children for 7 years. I had a restraining order at one point because he threatened me and there is a substantiated case where dad hit my oldest with a belt and left bruises (4 years ago). Last year their dad tried to force a custody change by keeping them. I filed for custody. He requested 50/50. The custody investigator suggested minimal time with dad due to his efforts of parental alienation and badmouthing me (this was from interviews with the children). Judge ruled for week on/week off between our homes. I live in a city 30 mins away from dad but work near there so the children were put in his school district. Went for a year like this, my son told me dad is smoking pot in front of them. He also yells at them for things beyond their control (especially the 12 year old) like child support, custody, etc. I filed for modification of custody. Judge denied a hearing but had the children see a custody investigator for one interview. The child that told me about the marijuana use did not disclose to the CI. After leaving the office he tells me this. I start recording and have on audio recording that dad told him "remember whatever you say that you are not only hurting me, you are hurting my whole family". Later that evening I hit record when both children started talking about dad yelling at my oldest before the interview. The younger one left and older one said (while still recording) that dad told him he didn't want him anymore, that all he has ever done is stab him in the back. I know I have the burden of proof but this is getting out of hand. Should I submit a new motion and include the audio recordings? Advice please? | Son tells me dad smokes pot in front of the kids, judge denies a hearing to modify custody. Do I move forward with audio evidence? |
t3_1xhy4m | relationship_advice | I(23/f) need to break up with my boyfriend(24/m) but don't think I should tell him why. Need opinions | Long story short..I've been my bf for about 16 months. Even though he is a great guy I don't think I can continue dating him. Lately I've been thinking about my ex ALOT(even though we haven't contacted each other in about a year), he is almost all I can think about. And it is driving me insane. My heart is almost always pounding because it makes me so anxious. I know that if my boyfriend knew what I was thinking he would be so upset and probably leave me. I kept hoping these thoughts would go away but they won't. So I think I need to break up with my current bf. Even though I don't plan on getting back with my ex.
Anyway I don't know if I should tell my current boyfriend this because I wonder if it will make him have trust problems. I've had guys leave me because they weren't over their ex and it made me a jealous/insecure person for a long time and I don't want that to happen to him. He already had issues with my past( I had more sexual and relationship experience than him) and I fear telling him I may not be 100% over my ex may make him never trust another girl again. I usually think honesty is the best policy but I don't know if it is in this case.. what are your thoughts reddit? | I'm may not be over my ex, but I don't know if telling my bf is a good idea or not. |
t3_18t2nx | relationships | I'm [F23] unsure of whether I should continue my relationship with my girlfriend [22] | I'm feeling really hesitant about whether I should be continuing to work on my relationship. This is the first time I've ever dated anyone before, which has left me with no history to base my choices off of. I met her online, and we've been dating since last June. But because we're both very busy, I'm in my last year of University, and she's working an internship, we haven't really been able to see each other for more than once or twice a month.
It's coming on a year that we've been dating, and things aren't how I'd pictured they'd be. I'm not excited by the relationship, but I do like the time we spend together. I've had one sided crushes before where I've felt giddy and excited, but in this relationship, it's calm and somethings I can forget that I'm even dating. Sexually, things are getting there, considering that this is my first relationship ever, and first sexual partner.
I just don't know if I haven't given this relationship enough of a chance yet. Yes, it's been a year, but with barely 12 dates, it's not been much of a run. Or should I take the signs that I'm not as excited for this relationship as a sign and break it off now, so I'm leading her on? | Should I give my relationship a longer chance if it doesn't excite me, or break it off to spare leading someone on? |
t3_2h6v0k | tifu | TIFU by kissing my girlfriends ass. | Creddit to /u/iPodCable for reminding me of the horror of lady fart.
Disclaimer: This actually happened 4 years ago. Apologies for late post.
I had just graduated from my sophomore year of high school, my girl friend had just graduated her senior year (yes, she was a cradle robber). We were at my mothers house just chilling on the couch watching some good ol' Cosby Show. My little brother, who had just passed 8th grade, was in the room as well.
My gf at the time of graduating high school had 32 D's and an amazing ass to go with it. She was on the smaller side so it really accentuated her lady bits. She is laying on her stomach while watching the show and I'm just squeezing her ass. "God I love your ass." I proclaim. She responds with, "Kiss it!" Now I'm no stuck up bitch when it comes to body parts so I begin to oblige her request but something makes me hesitate. I look her in the eye and confirm, "Kiss it?" "Yeah kiss it!" She seems a little more hurried in her request this time. Seeing as we haven't had sex yet and I'm a horny ass 15 year old I rationalize this request with *maybe this is one of her kinks. I want sex. Thus, if I do what she asks this might lead to sexy time*
**NOPE** I move in for the kiss on her right cheak and she lets loose the stench of what can only be described as Satan's gouche on a hot summer's day in hell. She laughed, my bro laughed, the live audience on The Cosby Show laughed and I died a little inside. | Horny teanager obliges SO's request to kiss her ass. She forces him to taste to fury that is lady fart. |
t3_sn9hz | AskReddit | Reddit, I witnessed a kidnapping in broad daylight on a crowded street yesterday. What sort of bizarre "TV show" moments have you suddenly found yourself in? | I guess I'll start off by saying they eventually found the girl.
So I'm at a restaurant, eating lunch outside on the patio on a busy shopping street. Out of nowhere comes a loud wail that makes everyone freeze. Directly next to us on the sidewalk a mother is hysterically screaming about 2 men taking her baby. A middle aged man asks her what's going on and picks up his bike. She points up the street and he immediately starts pedaling that direction screaming at the top of his lungs "SIX YEAR OLD GIRL." By this point there were already several people on their cell phones and a crowd had gathered. Everyone near me was just looking around stunned, trying to make sense of what the fuck just happened. The mother is sitting at the rear of her car, holding her much younger son. A fire rescue truck shows up and an old guy in a t-shirt jumps out meanders over the woman with no sense of urgency and then just sort of stands there. About 20 minutes after the man on the bike left, he returns walking his bike with his right hand, and carrying the girl on his left shoulder. I won't forget her eyes. She was stunned. She wasn't crying but her eyes were red as though she just had been. She knew something had happened but she didn't know what. The mother sees them, walks slowly towards her daughter and finally embraces her in arms that would never let go, and sobs uncontrollably. Other than the man in the Fire tee not one cop ever showed up. No more than 5 minutes later the mother, her children and the man on the bike all get into the same minivan and drive away. I seriously felt like I was in an episode of Law & Order.
Let's hear your stories... | Saw a mother screaming about 2 men taking her daughter. Man on bike chases after them and comes back with the girl 20 min later. The fuck were the cops? |
t3_268qvi | tifu | TIFU by taking out my bathroom trash. | This happened a few days ago and I am still recovering from what happened. Basically we should go back to the evening of 5/5/14. As you all know that is Cinco De Mayo. I drank, oh we drank. Crazy party blah blah blah, lets skip to the puke. I at some point threw up in my trash can and left it without cleaning up much. By much I mean I apparently cleaned the surface and floor enough to make me think nothing happened because the next few days the puke in the trash can kept getting more trash and toilet paper thrown on top. Until Monday.......Tuesday morning is trash day so Monday night I take the big can out to the curb so I dont forget in the morning. I gather everything into two big bags and I go to change my bathroom trash. Keep in mind now that my gf is sitting right outside the bathroom on my bed. I pull out the walmart sack and the combination of 2 and a half week old puke smell and juice hits me at once. My brain barely had time to process the smell before my dinner and lunch exited my body. How I went that long without smelling anything i will never know. Mixture of the Bath and Body Works candles my gf has me buy im guessing. This was only half though. My gf comes to the bathroom to see whats going on and why I sound like im dying and I try to murmer "DONT OPEN THE DOOR" but it was too late, she caught the smell, the sight, and all else that was going on. She started gagging, and I thought let her make it to the other bathroom, oh please. Nope. She made it to my bed. I felt so bad. By this time I was coming to terms with the disaster I had just caused in the bathroom only to come out to what looked like a mix of bloody stew and hot pockets. What did I learn? Take out my fucking trash after nights I drink. Fuck. | Got drunk, puked in trash. 2 weeks later same puke causes more puke from the GF and myself. |
t3_2ocdbp | relationships | Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of 2 years, other subreddit says my relationship is doomed due to sexual preferences [NSFW] | My boyfriend had some flings and two long term girls before meeting me. He had received head from several, but had only had sex with one. When the two of us got together, he was wowed by my sex drive. We click so well as we are both pretty weird in the same way.
The one problem I have is that I despise performing oral. I have a violent reaction where I gag simply from smelling his genitalia, more so licking it. With my ex I have had very unpleasant, guilt-tripped experiences which resulted in me eventually vomiting into some guy's lap while trying to give head. So naturally I shy away from that, and I did tell my SO about it early on. I have tried several times, but due to my not enjoying it, not being very good at it, and his fear of getting scraped (as happened with his ex since he is well endowed..), he said he much prefers sex over head.
He also *loves* going down on me and does so at least once a week.
My problem is that he says it doesn't matter to him, but I can't help but worry that it does. He's told me he likes feeling my tongue down there without actually having my it in my mouth, but the smell is so repulsive to me. And it's not that he doesn't practice good hygiene, I've tried when he's come right out of the shower.
When I posted this on r/sex, the general consensus was that this was a deal breaker for guys and that eventually he would be resentful (due to watching porn or hearing from is friends) and be unsatisfied in the relationship.
My question is how do I cope? I do give in (as in offer, he never pressures me) about once a month, but long term I will never enjoy it or do it any more frequently. Obviously I'm not going to just give up on this relationship, but knowing that most guys could not do this long term stresses me out and makes me wonder if I'm wasting his time.
Has anyone had experience with this, good or bad? | r/sex says no blowjobs is a deal breaker for the majority of guys, and I despise giving blowjobs. How can I deal with the impending doom... |
t3_pvetw | AskReddit | What would you do as a forum moderator in this situation? [warning: internet forum drama] | I moderate a forum for a videogame I work on. It's nothing serious (or so I thought) and don't really have any rules since people only join to comment on the game and make suggestions. It's got about 100 members I would estimate who are actively posting every day.
Recently one member joined who has been very blunt in their game suggestions, and has in turn been blunt when critiquing other people's ideas on the forum. Not rude or mean, but very critical and sometimes coming off as abrasive (approaching simple suggestions with long-winded posts to disprove the idea).
As a result there are maybe a dozen posters who have all said they will quit the forum and stop pitching ideas if this person is not banned. Some of the people making this threat are people I rely on heavily for feedback to work on my game since they provide proof-checked stats needed to maintain balance within the game (this is hours of work I don't personally have). | Dozen or so very helpful people on my forum threatening to quit because one poster is too critical and makes everyone mad. No serious rules broken, but situation is getting more volatile by the day. What do we do? |
t3_4pk1s5 | AskDocs | Nasal polyps, new meds not helping, but exercise does | I am a 26 year old male and was recently diagnosed with nasal polyps. I have had congestion problems for the last 2 years or so and was finally able to see a specialist. Until now, I was taking Nasonex which helped to stop the congestion and runny nose, but did not completely restore my sense of smell. The specialist has prescribed pulmicourt nebules (0.25mg/2mL) in a NeilMed sinus rinse twice per day; that is 0.5 mg total per day. The box for the nebules however says the recommended dosage is 1 to 2 mg twice daily. I find my symptoms are essentially the same as before with no improvement in my sense of smell. Although, whenever I do heavy cardio work, my ability to smell completely returns, I assume due to the reduced inflammation caused by blood flow to muscles.
My question is, would an increased dosage of pulimcourt cause my sense of smell to return or is this some other issue unrelated to polyps? Any info is appreciated. | Nasal polyps, anosmia. Steroids aren't helping, but exercise temporarily cures me. What's the deal? |
t3_2nshde | relationships | Me [20M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 2 years, just found out that she only has sex with me FOR me; she has no desire to make love to me. | My girlfriend and I have been in a happy and loving relationship for two years now; we rarely fight, communicate well, and to top it off, we have sex nearly daily. Last week, my girlfriend was talking about a thread she was reading on reddit and when I looked over her shoulder, I saw that she had an account. Cool, I thought and we went on with our day.
Well, yesterday I was bored and surfing the web and I happened to remember my girlfriend's account name, so I checked out her profile. I don't think that this is snooping, its a public account that anybody can see, so I don't feel bad.
Well, what I found was heartbreaking. A recent post from my girlfriend that said (non-verbatim), "I have no sexual desire for my boyfriend, but we still have sex daily because I want him to be happy". Reading through the thread, she states that she is romantically and physically attracted to me, but she feels no desire for sex with me most of the time. She also stated that she doesn't masturbate and it isn't me that is causing her low sex drive, that's just how she always been, also that she orgasms from sex and it's nice, but not necessary. Lastly, she says she loves me and wants to keep me happy and satisfied, so she's willing to sacrifice her lack of want for sex to fulfill me sexually.
I feel like absolute shit. I honestly just don't know what to do. How can I possibly have sex with her knowing that she doesn't really want it or isn't into it? I love this girl more than anything, but I'm so heartbroken. Help! | found a recent reddit post from my gf of two years asking for advice about her lot libido, stating that she only has sex with me to keep me happy, but she doesn't have any desire for it. |
t3_308upt | relationships | I [27 M] going out for 1 year with my girlfriend [27 F], she suffers from bouts of depression, I'm unsure what to do | I've been going out with my girlfriend (27F) for 12 months. Although we don't live together, we both love each other and have a wonderful relationship - most of the time.
Periodically (at least once every two months) she seems to have a break down where she doesn't want to talk, she is unaffectionate and sometimes angry. She does not want to talk about it when she is going through this or even when she is back 'normal'.
During these bouts she says she doesn't want to be in a relationship and that she doesn't want children. This is something that we have talked about and usually she is looking forward to making a home together and eventually having children.
From what I have been able to piece together, she also messages her ex-boyfriend who left her, and she has referred to him as the love of her life.
It is very difficult to be there and support her during this time when she pushes me away. She is going through a stressful time with study and work at the moment, but I'm not sure if it will get better when she finishes her studies this year and gets a different job.
Sometimes I think that I won't be able to handle this every few months for the rest of our lives. I worry that if we do have kids that it will influence them. And I also worry that deep down she doesn't actually want kids (something that I do) and won't love them. And I wonder if she is still in love with her ex-boyfriend, and whether that is an issue. Our relationship otherwise is absolutely perfect, and I don't want to be throwing that away if this can be resolved.
I need to know how to resolve this or how to know when it's time to leave. | Girlfriend suffers from depression. I'm unsure whether I can handle this for the rest of our lives. Do I stay or leave her? |
t3_3o28ek | relationships | My [17F] long distance girlfriend goes out clubbing 3-4 times a week, I [19M] feel uneasy but I talk to her with no changes. | My girlfriend and I had been dating for a year and things were peachy. It wasn't until recently when complications arose in her family and she had to move down to Mexico to live with her uncle where she would return in a year. We talked about and we agreed to try and make it work long distance and that we would be back together in a years time.
However, when she first got there things where fine and then her cousin started taking her out at night. First to house parties and then to clubs and various gatherings. At first I was okay with her as I wanted her to go out and meet people and enjoy life as im not her owner but, it's progressively got worse. She's going out to clubs and house parties getting drunk and smoking things with random guys who she tells me hits on her. She goes out roughly 4 out of the 7 day in a week.
I've talked to her saying im not comfortable with her doing it this often and the idea of alcohol and guys makes me uneasy and she will say sorry but continue her pace. She tells me she loves me and I mean the world to her but I don't know. This is my first girlfriend so I don't exactly know the yes and no to relationships so I don't want to be overbearing. I just feel like if she wants to live a single girl lifestyle, she can. As a single girl. Should I be upset with her or am I being unreasonable? Is there a way of fixing this or is this bridge burning? | girlfriend goes out every night to party/club. I tell her I feel uncomfortable with the amount she is going out. Ignores me and continues doing it, wat do? |
t3_2yed0d | relationships | My boyfriend 29M and I 25F just broke up after 2.5 years, advice? | I thought we had a great relationship and so did everyone else. That's why it came as such a surprise when he started having doubts and ended up breaking things off all within a week.
He says he still loves me and there is no doubt about that but he isn't sure where our relationship is going, what he wants, or if he wants to date other people (he has a friend that tried to pursue him multiple times). He wants to stay friends and says if somewhere in the future, we get back together that would be great but he needs time to himself and to figure things out.
I seriously had no idea... he put together the most romantic Valentine's day weekend recently and everything seemed perfect.
I know I shouldn't be holding on to hope but I can't help it. Any advice? Please... I've never been this way where I've been in bed and can't eat. Also, how do you stay friends with someone after you break up?
Last, any tips on getting a refund for a Hawaii trip we booked for July? Got it on Expedia...
Thanks! | Thought we were in love, he broke it off, total surprise to me. Advice? Stay friends? And how to cancel a Hawaii trip with Expedia? |
t3_19dgcj | relationships | Me (M17) and my friend (F17) talk almost daily, but she doesnt seem to text me all that much | Ok so me and my friend have been friends for about 4 months and in January she called me one of her "Bff's" over facebook. we talk almost daily at school (we dont hang out, outside of school but that is another story)
Anyways, most of the time when I text her, she doesnt reply back, I know she gets them but she says that she doesnt see them. So why might this be? I find it odd that she doesnt reply to them but we talk to each other almost daily.
Has anyone else been in a situation like this where someone you talk to almost daily usually doesnt reply to your texts? | Girl I like called me one of her "bffs", we talk almost daily, but she almost never texts me back. Why might this be? |
t3_3b1lqm | relationships | I [23/M] am freaking out because I feel like I am going to go nowhere in life and amount to nothing. | So I'm finishing up college with a shit GPA due to a combination of not taking school seriously and just plain not being able to focus on school work. I am pretty positive I am going to fail my final for a summer course I'm taking tomorrow, which in turn will cause me to fail the course (which I'm already doing very poorly in and its my 3rd attempt at it).
I can't find any real jobs because just about every job in the city I live in requires a minimum GPA of 3.00 or is not in my major field (literally every entry level job I can find or get contacted for is sales). I currently bartend and its one of my biggest fears that I'm going to get stuck bartending for the rest of my life because I pissed away school so I can't start a career. All of my friends are starting new careers and great jobs and I'm working in a bar.
I just don't know what to do or where to turn, I feel so hopeless. | I fucked up college and now am freaking out that I have no options, will not amount to anything, and be a disappointment to my family and myself. |
t3_egfc3 | AskReddit | Do jobs look at your overall GPA or what you received in your Major GPA? | So here's a little something about me. First off, got into a decent university and was accepted into their Aerospace Engineering Major. Started to do bad in physics, got Academic Probation because having mediocre grades (B-C) and an F (or 2, yeah Physics…) can really hurt. Dropped into Undeclared Engineering because of my belief that I wasn't all that bad (big mistake) and could still make it.
Come summer, my grades were still relatively shit (GPA at 2.25, average for engineer student: 2.75). Took some time and asked my friends what they would do in my shoes (which was extremely hard, as they are all smart and I didn't want to be looked down upon…stupid pride), and finally decided, enough is enough. Switched out to Business Economics and now my Major GPA is relatively high but my overall is still a lovely 2.2 (Only my single variable calculus class was counted into my Major GPA)
My question is this, to all you people who look at resumes, if I were to send my Major GPA, would you then ask to see my overall GPA? Or is there not even an option to show your Major GPA and you automatically have to send in what your overall is?
Also, I know that for the most part a lot of people have been telling me to not worry as much, because if I get an internship then for some strange reason, I'll magically be fine. But then my question is, a lot of internships ask for your GPA, what do you do in that case? (Submit overall or major?) | I did bad in engineering, moved to Business Econ, will my old and bad grades from Engineering affect me for applying to a job? |
t3_1bn6pw | AskReddit | What is your worst vacation experience? | Mine is when I was flying home to pheonix and we were close to landing and all of the sudden speakers come on and says that we cant land in pheonix so we need to stop at LAX (because of some little storm or something stupid like that) we then wait in the lobby to get on a next flight to pheonix then they say there are no more flights to pheonix until the next day. So we book a hotel and go to baggage claim, we wait and no baggage delivered, we then find out they just threw our luggage and everyone elses in a corner in a big pile. | flight had to relocate, couldnt get us a new flight, they threw all the luggage in a big pile in the corner. |
t3_3p6mt1 | relationships | My [27/m] coworker [23/m] told me that my good friend[27/m]'s girlfriend [25/f] was hitting on him, I confronted her, am I wrong to meddle? | My friend and his girlfriend dated for 1.5 yrs and split up for a month three months ago. During that time she hung out with a coworker of mine, which is normal. But after my friend and his girlfriend got back together, my coworker keeps coming to me saying the girl has been hitting him up a lot. They hung out once to smoke and he said she was being super flirty. I felt like I needed to say something to my friend? But thought it would be more reasonable to ask the girl. I texted her about it, and she was pissed saying it's not my business and the coworker can ask her about it if he wants, and to not talk to her again. I feel like I'm in the wrong for getting involved? But I'm worried about my friend and want the best for him. What should I have done differently and/or what should I do about this situation? | Cowrker keeps saying my friends girlfriend is hitting on him and I asked her about it, but I'm not sure if I should have just ignored it and let it play it's course or just told my friend. |
t3_3hr7qf | relationships | [21M] Feeling marginalized in long distance relationship, 7 months together before 3 apart | We started dating in October in our senior year of college. We had the occasional little spat but honestly everything was great, we made time for each other but didn't need to be attached at the hip. After graduation she went home out of state while I stayed near school, and she's planning to move back down in early October. She's made herself so busy with a job and volunteering and applying for grad school that a lot of days I feel lucky if I get enough texts to be the equivalent of a 2 minute phone conversation, and she always says she's tired or on the run so I never feel like I can really call her to talk.
I brought some of this up by telling her I was really struggling and nothing has changed since. I just end up feeling really guilty for wanting more from her when she's stressed enough as it is, but at the same time I feel like we're hardly in a relationship anymore and it's because she has intentionally given herself no free time. I'm not looking for anybody to tell me to break up with her or whatever. I just don't know how to stop feeling so marginalized in my own head or how to get her to understand that this is a real problem for me. | Communication has broken down with distance because she's too busy, need advice to make the remaining month and a half more bearable and lessen my feelings of unimportance. |
t3_2zv8ic | relationships | I [M/21] can not afford extravagant gifts for my girlfriend [F/20] of 4 years. I support my parents [50/M] [48/F]. | I pay for my living expenses off campus, University tuition, car, and my parents and siblings. I've been lucky enough to get a amateur job as support for my friend in IT and a photography studio while still in Uni. I don't make amazing money, but I get by. My parents on the other hand can barely stay afloat, my father can't work because of his health condition and my mother can only work so much. My father refuses to ask for loans from friends as he has a huge pride and has some depression issues I'm guessing.
I want to say that I do not blame them at all, they try their hardest but luck isn't smiling on them right now.
Due to this I can barely afford things for myself and other people. This is especially bad because my girlfriend is an amazing artist and always goes all out with gifts for our anniversary and my birthday, while I get her gifts which I'm sure make her feel like I don't care. This wasn't always the case and it is very recently that I had to start supporting my parents. I have tried telling my girlfriend but I have huge depression and anxiety issues and can barely tell her. My parents also don't know about our relationship and they don't approve of the whole boyfriend/girlfriend culture, so I can't talk to them either.
I also have to deal with this all throughout University if it means my parents can live better.
What I really want to know is, could this turn into a big problem later on? !maybe right now it isn't too bad, but could it get worse and potentially hurt my girlfriend and family? Both financially and personally. | I have to support my family, while also paying all of my bills while I am studying, which means I have little to no money to spend on my girlfriend. I'm torn about this and it could hurt our relationship. |
t3_3e7gzq | askwomenadvice | My partner has a lot of fear and pain associated with PIV or any penetrative sex act. | We are both 23 (M/F) and have been dating for 3 months.
I'd like to preface by stating that I am am completely okay with the idea of only pursuing outercourse. We have a very healthy drive and we have fun and always have mutual satisfaction. I would never pressure her into this and I am making sure to tell her this in every step.
Recently she has been bringing up the idea of trying PIV and we have recently started having actual contact of genitalia, dry humping I guess. We've never attempted it, but obvious in this position there is a lot of tensions and friction leaning towards that. Once she asked to finger her when she was very relaxed and we had several hours of foreplay, it went really well, but we talked about it afterwards and decided to still take it slow with adding that to something that we normally do.
We find a lot of mutual pleasure in these acts, but recently I can tell she is disappointed that she cannot allow herself to to move any further. I let her know that I'm perfectly happy with our limits and that the ideas of causing her pain or making her uncomfortable are more than enough reasons for my understanding. I would be okay if she had no reasons.
I guess ultimately my question is, I know that she knows that I not requiring us to move forward with any intercourse, but it seems like she genuinely wants to try. How can I make this process easier for her? Either letting her know that it is not something that I require in a relationship or steps to make intercourse easier.
If you need any more info or clarification let me know and I will do my best.
Thanks! | Girlfriend has had poor experience in the past with PIV sex, I'm fine with taking or slow/never pursuing it. She wants to try to move forward, how do you think I should proceed. |
t3_4il4s2 | relationship_advice | I [M/18] think my girlfriend [17] is smoking again but I don't know. | Sorry if this is in the wrong subreddit btw
So me and my girlfriend have been together for the better part of 3 months now, and while that doesn't sound like a lot, we've been together almost every day. We both love each other very much. I'm straight edge (I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs), and she wasn't when we met. She causally smoked weed but hadn't for about a month or so when we met. She used to smoke cigarettes too for anxiety and stress but she stopped. When we were official she said she quit everything and never planned on doing it again. She had a smoke box that she kept until the second month when I found out and she threw it out. She said she didn't do anything just kept it as a crutch and I believe her. But recently she's been going through A LOT. Her anxiety is off the wall, and she mentioned to me about 2 weeks ago how the urge to smoke was back, but that she would refrain for me. Just last week her and her sister ate a bit of a pot brownie and I got pretty upset. She said she'd never do it again.
A couple days ago she got into my car and smelled of cigarette smoke and perfume, I mentioned it and she said it was her dads girlfriend who was with her all day and she was smoking up a storm. I believed her then because her dads girlfriend does smoke a lot, but I was suspicious because my girlfriend never smelt like that before. The day after that her dad found her window open and cigarettes still in her closet. I was pretty bummed when I found this out because I told her to throw out all her cigarette stuff. She claims she just forgot to throw them out, and that the window is left open to help her anxiety. She's never lied to me before so I believe her. I don't know what to think. | My girlfriend used to be a smoker but quit for me. I think she may be smoking again because there is some solid evidence, but she says she didn't and she's never lied before. |
t3_2c2yo4 | relationships | I am [23F] a hermit because of abusive past, need help making friends to stop being a hermit | Ok so a bit of background for this issue, I am 23 and only recently gotten out of a very abusive realtionship where I lost most of my friends except my husband and a select few others, I am still struggling with issues from that realtionship plus going through some PPD which just compounds the whole issue. Because of living in fear constantly in the city we lived in, wondering if I was going to see my abuser I did not go out frequently, and when I did it was always in "safe" places, well my husband and I decided to move to a new city to get away, and because the houseing market is much better where we wanted to go.
Fast forward to now, we have moved and are renovating our house, I am much better despite the PPD which I am now on meds for, and I am dealing with my past abuse and healing, I am much healthier and happier than I have been in years, the only thing missing is that I have no friends, my few friends live far away or have just grown away from me, and I seem to have lost that wonderful ability of children to just see someone and become friends with them. I want friends my own age or slightly older who are in the same sort of life phase as me. Most of my peers seem shallow and self absorbed (not to say that I am not sometimes, I just hate the drama) but people who are on the same maturity level as I am do not have young children my sons age.
Please help, how can I move past my past start making friends again and having a social life, I feel like having mommy friends will help my PPD but I have no idea how to go about meeting those types of people without knocking door to door, which seems rude. TIA, and btw there is really only one mommy group that I know of in my area and they are all much more of the "hoity toity" types in much higher tax brakets that sort of thing so I am not really comfortable there or feel like I fit in. | Past abusive realtionship killed my ability to make friends, turned into a hermit out of fear, moved to a new city for houseing and to heal, need help making friends here to continue healing, preferably mommy friends. |
t3_jf7kh | relationship_advice | Feeling fed up, is this as much of a problem as I think it is? | Dating 4 year, boyfriend and I both mid 20s, living together
Got into a huge fight last week. He said that he was upset because I would storm off into the other room when he brought up porn pictures while I was sitting on the couch in the living room (which he does everyday). I'm a little bothered that he said he can't look because I get mad...yet it seems like he can't stop himself from clicking on them even if he only gets a quick glance. Whether its right or wrong that I get pissed, its like he can't not pull them up even when he knows how angry I get. I said I feel like I don't get enough physical attention.
To this, he said he wasn't feeling horny the past few days because he hadn't been able to look at porn and get "inspiration" as he put it. And if I am not actively doing something or dressed seductively, I won't make him horny either. I said I didn't want to be the end result of him being horny from looking at porn (aka, him fucking me only after he got horny looking at other naked girls) because that's what it sounded like he meant to me when he said he needed "inspiration." To this he said he was hurt that I would think of him as being so shallow.
So my question is, seriously? What else is that supposed to mean the way he put it? Because it sounds to me like he either needs to look at porn to be turned on, or I need to dress appropriatly sexy for him to be turned on. Is it too much to expect that he just...wants to be with me when I'm acting like me? Or is this a dependence on porn that is feircely being denied?
I'm trying to make this sound as unbiased as possible, but not sure if I'm doing a very good job because I'm still really upset by this. | Boyfriend said he needs porn for inspiration, or I need to dress up to make him want me. Is this unreasonable? Because I feel like I'm no longer good enough being just me. |
t3_21cxi7 | relationships | My boyfriend [17 M] and I [18 F] have been together almost 8 months, and I'm just telling my friends now. Ideas? | My boyfriend and I are both seniors in high school, but attend different schools and have different friends. He has told his friends about our relationship (which started last summer), but I haven't. This is mainly because I don't want my friends to feel like I'm valuing him over them or excluding them.
So far, things have been going well, and he and my friends get along really well. The time has come to tell them about our relationship, and I think that they'll accept it. Now, here's the fun part. I want to find an interesting or unique way to tell them, because where's the fun in telling them outright? Please comment with any thoughts you might have regarding the reveal of our secret relationship. So, redditors - any ideas? | I'm trying to find an interesting way of telling my friends that I'm in a relationship, after being with my significant other for a significant amount of time without their knowledge. |
t3_3efzxa | loseit | NSV/SV and thank you! | First off, thank you all so much to all of you for your determination and help and inspiration. I've been lurking on this subreddit for a while and it's really helped me adjust my diet, keep going, etc. A bunch of things have been victories over the past few days so this post may be long, I'm sorry!
I'm a 6'1" female, 22 years old. SW: 210 CW: 179 GW: 170. I'd been steadily gaining weight in college, kind of ignoring it because I was so busy with getting my engineering degree. I hit my top weight of 210 last year and realized how much I hated how I looked. I had been really fit in high school and I got really depressed with how I had let this happen and I truly did not think I would ever be thin again.
Last summer I tried losing weight for a vacation. I got down to around 195 by adding exercise and trying to eat less. I went back up to 205 over this past winter though. I had a sort of break down around the time of my birthday in the winter and I decided to be in better shape by my next birthday.
I started eating cleaner and went paleo for the first few months of this year and managed to make it down to 195 again. Then in May, I started counting calories and walking a mile most days after work. I've been eating around 1200 calories a day and keeping my carbs under 50g. I also cut back on dairy and started drinking 80 oz of water a day. I stepped on the scale today and saw a number in the 170s for the first time since mid-high school!
I also dug up my measurement sheet from last February a few days ago when I was frustrated with being on a plateau. I have dropped 3 inches off my waist, 2 off my hips, 2 off each thigh, and 1 off each arm. My smallest pants are now loose and need a belt. I'm in better shape than I ever was in college and once I hit my goal weight I plan on upping my calories and adding weight lifting :)
Thank you again for all of your inspiration and helpful posts and just for everything this sub is about. You are all awesome!!! | I'm smaller now than I ever was in college and I never thought it would be possible and I love you all so much! |
t3_318ux5 | weddingplanning | The traveling dress | So, I am positive hundreds of people have flown with wedding dresses but....
I live about 10 hours away from my mom and my sister. They did not get to help me dress shop, but we are meeting up and we are going to shoe and jewelry shop and dress shop for their dresses. I'm flying, and its just for the weekend so I wasn't planning on checking any luggage...so
Would my dress be considered my carry on? If so, what should I "carry it on" in?
I did buy it online (bhldn ftw)
And I think I still have the box, but that is bigger than standard carry on fare...
Its not big and pouffy or anything, but, it is my wedding dress.
Any of you gals flown with your dress??
Tips?? | Flying with my dress and I don't trust checking but I'm not sure if I can carry it on....tips? |
t3_23vg37 | AskReddit | what's it like to establish a computer science career, is the video game industry an enjoyable place to work? | I finally went back to school in my late twenties after working endless dead end jobs.
I was considering doing a science-related major but I am shying away from engineering because the prerequisites alone would take me years, I'm only no doing calc two and haven't done any physics, chem, etc.
so, I started thinking about taking a shorter route and going for computer science, the only problem is I'm not one of those computer geek people, my computer knowledge is probably on a fifth grade level
so I'm worried that my skills will be lacking but I'm drawn to the combination of art and math that programming seems to have.
I went from remedial math to calculus so there's no reason to think I can't learn programming but then again, I could be making a huge mistake going into a field I know little to nothing about. | I'm close to thirty, back in school, considering computer science but absolutely clueless about the field, curious to hear if others regret getting similar degrees |
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