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t3_2bmhjh | relationships | I [20 M] have been with my [23 F] for 3 months now, She is engaged. | So this girl, let's call her Abby, has been a best friend of mine, things went differently and we fell in love. The problem is that she's engaged.
Well to start off, this affair started when Abby's fiancée abused her (slapped her), and she had a fight with him. The next day she wanted me to be there for her while she tell me all her relationship problem, while i consoled her. It turns out that she had feelings for me and i considered this, and i also had feelings for her back then, but i didn't want to break down her engagement doors, but now i feel that her fiancée abusing her is too much, and i want to be there for her, so we started dating.
It's been three months since, and right now a part of me think that what i'm doing right now is wrong, but i love her too much. I already talked to her about this and she said she needed time for her fiancée to let go of her and she's trying to slip away slowly.
What rings in my head is that, what if her fiancée doesn't let her go? what will i get in return? I don't know what to do.. | started dating engaged bestfriend for 3 months, don't know where to go from here, what will i get in the long run? |
t3_2hbt4t | relationships | My [19/F] girlfriend cheated on me [19/M] and then broke up with me the next day, ending our relationship of just under a year. I'm still completely in love with her and we share a house together. | I got together with my girlfriend a few months after starting university last year, we shared a flat and hit it off straight away. We'd both never been with anyone else before, took each others virginity and basically fell in love. Thus preceded the happiest 10 months of my life. We now live in a house together with 7 other people and have just started second year of university and everything in life was going perfectly, we were seemingly getting on better than ever.
Then after a night out, the next morning out of the blue she told me she cheated on me that night at the club, nothing too serious, just a drunken kiss, but still, cheating is cheating to me and i was heartbroken and confused. I've always tried my hardest to love her the best I can and couldn't work out why she would do this, it seemed so unlike her. After spending time thinking about it, I realised I loved her more than anything, agreed to forgive her and move on. Everything seemed back to normal. Then the next day after another night out, she told me that she wanted to break up, things weren't working out for her and she wasn't happy, she wanted to be single.
At this point I'm completely and utterly devastated, the love of my life has dumped me and I've done nothing wrong, she just wants to be single for her own reasons. I don't know what to do with myself, I've lost my purpose in life. The worst thing is, we share a house together and we are on the same course at uni, so have to see each other all day everyday. This girl is completely integrated into my life and she wants me to try and move on, how can I possibly do this when every second I see her or reminders of our relationship that make me wish for nothing more than just to have everything back. I love her more than anything even after what shes put me through, I just can't see a way out of this.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Girlfriend who I am completely in love with breaks up with me and wants me to move on, but we share a house together. How can I possibly get through this. |
t3_473ovo | Advice | Difficulty asking co-worker for number or date. | I don't normally experience much anxiety over asking girls for their number or asking for dates in most social sitations. However, I'm willing to admit that I'm having a little difficulty with asking a female co-worker for her number.
A little context: I'm fairly new at this job (less than 2 months) and this girl has caught my eye. I chat with this girl whenever I have the opportunity, and she seems pretty receptive. A different co-worker had a birthday party at a bar close by, and the girl I'm interested in showed up. This was my first opportunity to talk with her outside of the office. We seem to have a lot of common interests, she even offered me a taste of her beer (without my asking), she would make certain physical contact during conversation (hands on back of shoulder, for example). I even brought up the idea that we should go skiiing sometime (were both avid skiiers/snowboarders), to which she responded positively. Only other signal is that at the end of the night she didn't make a point to hug me and say goodbye, though she was a willing recipient when I came in for the goodbye hug (lol). One last crucial bit, due to business needs I won't be working at her location for a few weeks and thus, no in-person opportunities to strike up more conversation.
To wrap this up, at the end of the night I failed to ask for her number. In retrospect, this was a perfect opportunity that I completely missed. I'm having trouble with this because, in most scenarios, if the girl rejects me I can just move on and forget about it, no harm done. But in this instance, I have to see her everyday (typically). Any tips about how I might handle this with some level of class and tact? | Interested in girl at office. Having trouble asking for number/date in a way that won't make things weird. |
t3_1ksmuz | relationships | The father of my gf [M/70] is overprotective and my gf [F/16] is a prisoner in her own home. | My gf [F/16] doesnt know about reddit and has been asking me for advice for some time and I am not able to find a solution. So heres the story:
My gf had a brother 10 years ago, he died in a traffic accident and her father was devastated. He was a truck driver himself and hasn't touched a car ever since, he quit his job and lost his mind for 2 years before recovering from the death of his son.
He still sees his daughter as his little princess and does anything to keep her safe, but he is taking it too far. She is basically a prisoner in her own home. She is only allowed to go outside if she needs to go to school or to get some groceries, she has never been to a sleepover because her father simply does not allow it.
I have been in a long distance relationship for around 2 months now since I met her on my holiday with my parents. I haven't been able to see her since. How can I, [M/16] help in this situation even though her father doesnt know I have a relationship with her and may not find out because he will probably cut off all contact I am able to have with her. | Over protective father, gf is a prisoner in her own home. How can I help even though I can't see her. |
t3_1imcpy | relationships | Harjkun[23M] with my close work friend [23F] I've worked with her for 10 months, need help on how to ask her out | This might be a different one to those you are used to. To start we both work for one of the biggest general goods store that operate out of major travel locations. I'm keeping this info open as I don't want her to be known. Plus I still work there. So even posting this should screw up my job. But basically its a sales job. We are great friends and always have a laugh when we work together. The few time we have work do's, we tend to how fun spending time outside of work.
I have had feelings for her for a long time now. And I think she knows I do. Thing is, she leaving soon for a better job and I hardly see her due to the shifts we work. These are not "one night stand" feelings. These are proper "I can see a future with her" feelings, if you get what I mean?
She's quite shy, really sweet and SUPER attractive. I feel out of her legend. I'm 6"4 which has never help me in the past. But I don't think she minds that as shes ~5"11 herself.
The thing is I can only speck with her through text. There is no way we can meet up so I can confess myself. I just don't know how to tell her. We can't at work as I would loss my job if anyone found out. But ask that's a long story about past employees. I know this type of thing shouldn't be done over a text. But I have no other choose. She has been screening my calls ever since someone suggested to her as a joke that I loved her. She then started putting 2 and 2 together.
I don't want to waste the chance to be with her. I just want to tell her how I feel and find out if there will ever be anything between us. I need help on how to make the best us out of my one and only text. As she will just leave and never respond or see me again.
Can you help? I'll keep you updated with whats happening. | Work friend relationship. I have feelings for her, but am only going to get one shoot with **ONE** text. |
t3_l4c8k | AskReddit | Girl I know got raped, she'll only confide in me, but I honestly don't know what the right things to do or say are | So a girl I've been hanging out with for the past couple months has gotten really depressed over the past week or two. I had no idea why until she told me last night that she was trying to induce a miscarriage because she thought she might be pregnant. I told her I hoped she learned her lesson about always getting the guy to wrap it up, which is when she said it wasn't her choice, that none of it was her choice. I tried to tell her that she needs to bring whoever it was that did this to justice, but she claims she doesn't know who it was.
I already convinced her to go to a doctor, and told her she should probably see a therapist or something too, but she won't agree to the second one. She says I'm enough, but I really don't know how to handle the situation.
What are the best things I can say to her? She was really vague about the circumstances, and I feel like she might know who it was, but I dunno how much I should prod her about it. She seemed pretty affected by the whole situation and I don't want to make her relive it, but at the same time I feel like she shouldn't let whoever did this get away with it. Any and all advice from people who have been in her situation or mine would be great. | Girl I know got raped, she'll says she'll only confide in me about it, what are the best things I can say and so for her? |
t3_25mrg4 | personalfinance | Refinance Student Loans? | I'm 27 and have around $147K in student loans. The good news is, the education put me in a profession where I'm making around $150K per year. I'm currently on a 20 year repayment plan, but I'm hoping to pay it off in around 10 years. The interest rates on the various loans vary from 6.5% to 8.5%. I'm very happy and would have done it again if I had to as I come from humble beginnings.
Around $60K of my loans are held by the Department of Education and have an interest rate of either 7.9% or 8.5%. I just got something in the mail from a private company that says I can get interest rates as low as 5% by consolidating.
However, on Reddit, there's always a lot of discussion around Senator Warren and her plans to lower the interest rates ([Source] There's also been discussion (although no legislation) to forgive some student loan debt (I doubt it). But my guess is your loans would have to be owned by the Department of Education to take advantage of this incentive.
Do you think it's worthwhile to consolidate all or a portion of my student loans at a lower interest rate with a private company or should I wait it out and hope the legislature acts on the student loan bubble? Any thoughts would be appreciated. | Lots of student loan debt, refinance now at lower interest rate (~5%) or wait on legislature (~3.86%)? |
t3_qkrsb | AskReddit | what is the earliest event you remember that affected your life | when i was in kindergarten there was a playground, me and a girl sat on a rocker, she on the one side im on the oher, we just sat there going up and down pretty normal childspeed, the rocker had blades in the middle, where other kids could sit on, suddenly some kids came out of the kindergarten (i dont remember how many) and they started speeding up our seesaw speed, it was pretty fast and we wanted them to stop, but they didnt, so in the process i lost controll and suddenly my mouth hit the wood of the rocker, i lost all my frontteeth top and bottom, my parents came and we went to the dentist, i was 3 or 4 but i remember it like yesterday :( i never sat on a rocker again
hope you understood the story | i lost all my top and front teeth at a rocker when i was in the kindergarten and never used a rocker again |
t3_3qnpke | relationships | My roomate[15M] has been lying and stealing from me[24M] | my roommate Zach[25] has been stealing and lying...
Just recently he has stolen and sold a tablet for presumably 40$. That tablet was a 700$ tablet that i was repairing for a client of mine(Note 10.1 2014 T-Mobile).
He blamed it on my brother and his friends and then confessed that his friend had taken the tablet and couldn't reach him to get it back.
That friend i discovered was OUR friend Deric[23](via my brother who had texts to prove it).
I also had spoken with deric since then who also denied any involvement...
Im at a crossroads today because these two friends I've known since we were toddlers. They have lead a sad life of drugs and irresponsibleness...
I felt that I could help Zach out by allowing him to stay with me and he agreed to pay some of my rent(currently 2 months behind).
Now I'm moving, burned or threw away most of Zachs things since he isn't in the state(literally) to move it out. And am considering cutting all ties with both of them at this point. Oh and working on a payment arrangement for my customer.
A few other things he has stolen
• i5 laptop due to be repaired
• 150$ beats headphones
• cannon printer
• Wii with 3 remotes and 16gb SD card
• I'm sure much more | friend stole from me and tried to lie about it, however I caught him in the lie and now think that i have to cut him from life. |
t3_3xjcmm | relationships | Me [28 M] with my Gf [26 F] less than a week, can a relationship work with problems in the bedroom? | I broke up with my past partner 3 years ago because my foreskin had become too tight to be able to penetrate comfortably.
We did find ways round it but eventually, it wasn't for her so we broke up.
I tried online dating for a bit, including a site for asexuals but had no luck.
Just recently though I met a girl through a group of friends and we hit it off straight away, we have been taking it slow but basically dating for a week.
Now, my heart says carry on because the feeling I get around her is intoxicating but my mind is saying I should either come clean straight away about my problem which could go a few different ways but at least I was honest or I could just break it off which could also create probelms.
I know sex isn't the be all and end all of relationships and there are ways around my problem but am I just fooling myself thinking if I told her, she might be OK with it? Can a relationship like that still work? | Is it worth trying to make a meaningful relationship with someone even with problems in the bedroom? Or am I just fooling myself and potential partner? |
t3_talub | AskReddit | Reddit, my life is unsatisfactory. How do i leave everything and go to Europe for a month? | Reddit, i'm quite miserable with my life. And the thing is, it's not terrible. I have a girlfriend, lots of friends, a car, a crappy retail job, and i live in my parents nice ass house.
I stopped going to college 2 years in after sort of partying my way out of school. I never did well in high school, and college was no different. I don't have much of a work ethic, admittedly.
Either way, after spending a year in retail doing the same thing week in and week out, with no sign of changing in the future, i've become depressingly dull.
I hate myself and my current life. All of my friends who are in college are exciting and are doing new things with new people, while i sit around, working 40 hours a week and hanging out with my girlfriend.
My girlfriend is beautiful. No doubt. She loves me very much. But i'm not ready to settle. I was adventure. I want to meet new women. I want to do new things. She doesn't. She wants to get married and settle, and i don't want to hurt her, but i have to. We've been dating a year and a half. I'm driving myself crazy staying here.
How much money does it really take to get from the united states to Europe, and how much would it take to backpack around there for a year? Have any of you done it? Do any of you have tips from being in a similar situation. I just don't want to waste my life away. | i've done the same thing every week for a year now and it wont change until i change it. How do i drastically change my life and surrounding? aka go to Europe for a month to see the world. |
t3_1vaqos | relationships | Me [35 M], happy with a great new relationship. Why Can't I stop thinking about my ex? | So I've recently moved in with my GF of 7 months and everything is going great. She is everything I always wanted and I feel like I'm living the dream. The only issue is I can't stop thinking about me ex.
For a bit of history, my ex was crazy (BPD or bi-polar not really sure) among a host of other problems. Unfortunately she was my first, and I was co-dependent and didn't know how to get out. We were together on and off for pretty much from the time I was 19 until maybe 30. Even after we were completely done we stayed in contact, and hooked up every now and then. I didn't completely cut contact until I met my current GF last year.
I don't know why I keep thinking about her. I guess it's because she was a huge part of my life for 15 years and this is probably the longest I have gone without talking to her. I certainly don't want her back, my current GF is better than her in every way. I am so excited about the future with her. I want us to get married and have kids, she does too. I never wanted that with my ex.
I'm not sure what advice I'm actually looking for. I don't know if I need closure or what it is. Maybe I just wanted to get this off of my chest since I can't exactly talk to my GF about it.
Thanks for reading anyway. | My new GF is better than my ex in every way and I know I don't want her back, EVER. Why do I keep thinking about her? |
t3_1r1h4z | relationship_advice | 22[m] joined the military in April while dating 20[f] | I am now getting ready to leave for bootcamp and we will begin a long distance relationship. We have been together about a year and a half. We both love each other, but I am finding it hard to have confidence that we will stay together. She wants to get married, and I mean soon so that she can join me at my permanent duty station after all my schooling is finished. I definitely could see myself marrying her, but the time crunch is starting to bother me. I feel like if I can not make up my mind on marriage before next august the relationship will be going nowhere and it will end. Marriage makes me nervous because we have not been together long enough for me to know for sure that she is a girl I absolutely want to marry, and the last thing I want is to get a divorce and pay alimony/child support to an x-wife or child I'd never get to see. (There are no children in the picture now, and she is not pregnant... I'm just saying I would hate for children to get involved too soon.)
She talks about us getting married a lot, and recently told me she wants a baby. Meanwhile I am starting to question whether or not I love this girl enough to commit to marriage, let alone a child. I feel like she is eager to get married and have a kid because she has nothing else going on other than being with me. She is not in college, and her basic interests really only include me and photography. On the other hand, I am a pretty busy guy with lots of hobbies, and soon I'll be even busier focusing on my military career. I fear that I'm just sitting here waiting and hoping I'll fall in love with her more and realize that I'm ready to be married before it's too late.. The more I think about it the more I realize that I love her very much, but I fear being a husband/father. I feel too young. | GF is ready to be engaged and married in the next 8mo's, I am having commitment issues and fear of married life while balancing the fact that I am about to start a new career in the military. |
t3_16whtn | dogs | Tips on teaching a dog to use a Kong Wobbler? | I picked up a Kong Wobbler for my puppy today, not because he's a fast or gobbly eater, but because it's very cold here right now and he can't tolerate being outside for as long, so I wanted to have more enriching and fun things we can do together inside the house.
He's treat-motivated but not as much by his kibble (he'll eat it but he doesn't do tricks for it), so I mixed some kibble in with a few salmon treats and put it in the Wobbler. He eats the treats when I knock them out for him, but he doesn't seem to make the connection that he can play with it too.
One website suggested starting with the cup game (putting a treat under a plastic cup), so I did that but he just pushed the cup around and tried to lick underneath it rather than trying to knock it over. He just doesn't seem to make the connection that he can use his paws to push either thing over in order to get the treats out.
I know many of you use Wobblers and other treat-dispensing toys for your dogs - did you have to teach your dogs to use them? If so, what method did you use? Did it take any of them a little while to get used to it, or did they take to it right away?
I was thinking of maybe smearing a little peanut butter on the hole in the Wobbler so that he has to push against it to lick it out, and when he steps back it will wobble from his force. But if anyone has any tried-and-true tips they used, even better! | My puppy can't figure out how to use the Kong Wobbler (or isn't sufficiently motivated to do so). Any tips? |
t3_tntg2 | relationships | The other guy | My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 6 months now, and have known each other for a year (him (19) me female (20)) We just finished our first year of college. I know that I love him and that he loves me and I see us having a great future together but there is a problem and it's on me. Six weeks ago I met another guy, he is graduating this semester. I told him I was unavailable and that we were just friends, and I've been honest with my SO about the friendship from day 1 (he trusts me and has no problem with it). However I can't deny that there was chemistry between me and this other guy, he hit on me every time we hung out, and if I wasn't in a relationship I would have gone for it. (Let me make it clear that I would never ever ever cheat on my SO) When it became clear to me that the sexual tension between us was too much I ended the friendship so that I wouldn't cheat. But even after that I still think about him, wishing i could still be his friend, wishing that I could have hooked up with him. This makes me feel horribly guilty because as I said I love my SO and I don't think I could stand to loose him. I also know that if this relationship wasn't long distance, this wouldn't even be a question, because when I'm physically with my SO it's like no other guys exist for me. Maybe I'm just lonely, but I'm horribly confused here. | chose to end a risky friendship for the sake of my relationship. It's not worth it to me to leave someone I love for someone I like, but I still think about the other guy. I can't get past the guilt. |
t3_37brgw | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of 5 months, very jealous at other girls in my life | Since a few weeks ago my girlfriend and I are fighting nearly all the time. She thinks, in a very childish way, I place her on the same level with my friends.
She gets, for example, upset when I use the same text emoticons (normal ones, not hearts or stuff), that I use when I'm texting with my friends, when texting with her. Or she gets mad when I make the same jokes around other girls I make with her, stuff like that.
I told her often how much I like her, that she can trust me, and that she is a special person in my life, but this didn't change anything, like she doesn't wants to believe me. What can I/she do to change this? | GF is very jealous because I treat female friends in a same friendly way like I treat her and I don't know what to do now. |
t3_1kqddl | AskReddit | What's your best worst landlord story? | I had this one landlord who was impossible to get ahold of when things needed to be repaired. It would take months to get him to come to the house to do work. One of these times, we had a leak in our bathroom ceiling, coming from the upstairs neighbor's bathroom that would drip on us whenever we would try and take a shower. He finally came over to fix it, but only ended up taking out half out bathroom's ceiling to reveal an awful moldy mess in there. Instead of fixing things that day, he got drunk with his buddy, left a huge mess of tools and beer cans in our bathroom, and left. We had that moldy hole there for months until we eventually patched the ceiling ourselves, and painted it with special mold-killing paint.
That wasn't the end of it though. The leak kept leaking, and the mold grew through the patched part of the ceiling. Months go by, trying to get the landlord to come by again, and finally he does. It takes a couple more trips to get him to figure out the leak, fix it, and patch our ceiling again. He never did anything about the mold in there, so I can't imagine what kind of problems that will create down the road. This kind of thing was always happening, this was just one of the most maddening ones we experienced. | Moldy hole in our bathroom ceiling left for months, landlord would rather get drunk than fix it, leaving us with a moldy hole in our ceiling for months. |
t3_4wfpo8 | relationships | I [22 m] was going to have sex with the girl [20 f] I'm dating, but I got sick and I'm afraid she'll lose interest | We have been getting pretty physical the last two weeks and we decided to go somewhere where we could be alone and have some privacy. But I had a throat infection, possibly strep, and it resurfaced the day before our meeting.
Obviously I have to tell her I'm sick again, but since it is the second time I have to cancel on her because of it, I'm afraid she'll think it's a cop out and just bail on me. How or what should I tell her to make sure I do want to see her but I think we should reschedule so I don't infect her unnecessarily? | Was going to have sex with the girl I'm dating, got sick and I don't know how to cancel because I'm afraid she'll think I'm just flaking on her |
t3_185e3d | relationship_advice | Boyfriend assumes I might only want him for his money... How do I set this record straight? | 22/f & 26/m Length: 6 Months
Our relationship is fantastic, I've never cared about someone so much ever before. We both come from reasonably comfortable backgrounds, so I'm no stranger to "money." I also work in the luxury trade. My boyfriend is very good at what he does and therefore very *very* successful.
We split all costs 50/50 and because I tend to spend more time at his flat than his at mine, I try to pitch in a little bit more to be fair.
Today we were talking and I asked about a dinner he has at the weekend which is for a close family member's birthday, and I asked if he was treating. He seemed a bit insulted, and said "what, do you think I'm made of money?" I was a little surprised, and I said "of course not, I was just asking, you know I don't care about how much money you have." To which he replied with a somewhat sarcastic, "uh huh" and I asked him, "do you honestly think I'm with you just because of your money?"
This whole interaction wasn't as negative as it sounds in writing, but there were undertones that an idiot couldn't miss. We were light hearted and joking seconds before and after it.
But there's truth in irony, and if deep inside he feels like that or worries about it, I absolutely MUST make sure that he KNOWS that I truly do not care about his wallet. Based on the industry I work in, I know what it's like to worry about people wanting to use you for your money, but I really don't care about it. I come from a solid background and have skills and opportunities which mean I don't have to worry about money. I'm with him because I chose him, and I love HIM.
How can I set this straight? | Boyfriend assumes I might only want him for his money, but I actually don't care, and want to set this record straight. |
t3_319qkw | personalfinance | [Advice] Car Loan Gone Wrong | In 2011 I was nearing the end if my military contract. Instead of reenlisting I separated and joined the reserves so I could help my family. My grandfather who raised me has dementia and my older sister, who has three kids, was taking care of him.
My sister said not to worry about a job because unemployment would help me with bills. My sisters handled our families finances since I can remember so pretty much what she says I go along with. Plus I would get more time with my grandpa. At the time I owed about 3k on a car, but my sister said I could afford a newer car on my grandfather's credit line.
So now I'm making $500 payments on a luxary car that I don't need. I have no idea what the interest rate is, but I do know that it's ungodly. To date I've paid about $20,000 on this car and it was originally $28,000. Due to some missed payments what is currently owed is about $25,000. I have no idea what to do.
My family had a falling out so I can't get any information of my grandfather's to talk to the financing company. I need my grandpas social to even begin speaking about it but I can't even get that. I'd be more than happy to turn the vehicle in, and pay the difference of what is owed vs what the car is worth but I have no idea how to do that without my grandpas information. I've even thought about defaulting on the loan but my grandpa worked so hard to build his credit I couldn't stand to do that to him.
Any and all advice would be appreciated. Sorry if this turned more into a venting rant than anything else. | Got a loan in my grandpas name for $28,000. Interest rate and late penalties are so high, even though I've paid $20,000 I still owe about $25,000. Please help. |
t3_3szfm6 | relationships | Me [14 M] with my kinda friend [14 F] haven't even started hanging out, and honestly I'm just an inexperienced teen. | Hey everyone. This is not of utter importance and many other people in this subreddit and in the world have some worse and actually serious scenarios. But I've just overcome some seriously bad depression, and this girl, let's call her Hannah (not her name), loves concerts (music is half my life), animals (I work at a shelter), and has been through some hard shit too. Basically, I'm stupid in love and I want her which is obviously dumb since I've only known her for a year.
I've been sheltered into a tight little box because of my cute little Christian parents (ironically I've become agnostic), and ever since I depression and school started kicking my ass (I'm good now), so relationships are a very, **very** foreign concept to me. Honestly, right now I don't know if she even could like me as more than a stupid clown who makes her laugh 3rd hour and after school. Can I curse here? Fuck it, I just want advice in general. What should I do? Is there some *magic hoodle-doodle way* do see if she likes me? Since she is just *barely* friends I don't want to blatantly ask her if she does like me (I would later in life, but y'know *High-School Etiquette* and shit) I guess I need to ask a solid question that can be answered to finish this off... God I'm shaking typing this. Ok, I guess I'll ask a cookie-cutter, boring question - How do I get her number?
Also is this a wall of text? Kinda new to this. | Am I just a lover who is high off his hormones or is there anything here worth exploring? Damn being human is confusing. |
t3_1puaiq | Advice | I have a really smelly roommate, not sure how to approach her about it. | As ridiculous as this may sound, my roommate definitely has some serious personal hygiene issues. Being a guy, I'm no stranger to living in less than cleanly living situations, especially when I was in college. Most situations in the past were easily fixed by taking out the trash, doing the dishes, or handling whatever the issue at hand was. Now, the issue here is it's her room thats causing the problem. It absolutely reeks of what I can only describe as a very pungent musk. I am 99.9% certain that the cause of this odor is solely from the fact that she refuses to do her laundry.... ever. In the 9 months I have lived with her I have only seen her do her laundry, **maybe** 3 times. Now to give you some perspective, we live in a big city, and doing laundry costs roughly $5+ per load, and a walk down to the laundromat. It's a pain in the ass, but it's a reality of living in this area. I keep telling myself that if this was a male friend of mine, I would probably have no issue coming in and telling them about the stink that comes wafting out of their room, and how it's flat out offensive. This girl has some definite depression issues though, she takes medication for it, and I just dont know how to approach her about it. I've tried hinting at it, I've tried offering rides to join me to the laundromat, I've even offered to do her laundry for her, and no luck. I only have another 3 months of living with her and I'm considering just letting it be, but at the same time, this smell is going to choke me out soon. Give me some advice reddit. | smelly roommate, refuses to do laundry, shes depressed, dont know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. |
t3_2qkqyh | relationships | Me [22M] told by [21F] that she has bf, but would have gone out with me if she'd met me earlier. What to do know? | Met a really nice girl but she tells me she already has boyfriend when I ask her out.
She says that had she met me sooner or before she would have gone out with me and that we would have been a great couple. She says that it's just unlucky that we didn't meet each other sooner.
I'm totally confused right now. How am I supposed to react to this? What am I supposed to do? Wait in hope that she might break up one day or force myself in and make her leave boyfriend.
I wish she had rejected me right out, why did she have to tell me those things. Why can't things just go right for me once. I guess time and the universe is really against me. | met girl who says she has boyfriend, tells me if we'd met sooner she would have gone out with me and been perfect for each other. What am I supposed to do now? Should I pursue her? |
t3_2zms8c | Dogtraining | Potty training puppy while working from home | I've read a lot about potty training a puppy, and I've successfully potty trained a puppy in the past using crate training without too much trouble. However, I have a new puppy now (3 months old) and I work from home. This is great because I get to spend a lot of time with the new pup and take plenty of walks, but I'm not sure the best way to set up a potty / crate schedule for her.
We are crate training her, but she doesn't get put in her crate extremely often. She sleeps in the crate at night, gets all meals in the crate, and anytime my wife and I are both gone - but that isn't often since I work from home.
I know my current problem with potty training the puppy is that she has too much freedom - but how often / how long should I be crating her to aid in the potty training? Or should I just try and take her outside more often (I already try to take her out pretty often, but she's having accidents in the house multiple times a day)? | potty training 3 mo. old puppy while working from home. Not sure the best way to put the pup on a potty schedule using crate training or other method |
t3_12wwrv | weddingplanning | Unplugged Ceremony? | For those unfamiliar with an unplugged wedding, or why to have one -
I have scoured the internet looking for good ways to tell guests that I'm having an unplugged ceremony. While I certainly want the point to hit home and be noticed, I don't want them to feel like they're children and that I'm constantly beating them over the head with the same info. I'm thinking of having it written in my wedding website, and also having the officiant say something before the processional - as well as word of mouth. Do you all think this is adequate but not over the top?
Also - I cannot find good wordings on the internet. I have gone through a few pages of Google already. There are a few on Offbeatbride, ( ) but some are too emotional for me and some are too straight-forward (signs that just say PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONES - I'm not having a sign anyway, people tend to not read signs), nothing sounds just right.
My mom is also not on board with this idea. She is under the illusion that everyone will be perfectly behaved, that no one would dream of ruining a photographer's shot. She doesn't realize that it just happens and people become obsessed with capturing it for themselves, so they don't even notice. I don't see why you would pay a professional thousands of dollars, then allow amateurs to get in the way. She thinks it's rude and that there's no way to say it that won't upset people. Also, I like it, so she is bound to hate it. This would only be for the ceremony, of course I would encourage people to take tons of pictures during the reception. | Want an unplugged ceremony. Need wording that sounds good but not mushy, and is sufficiently not-rude so my mom won't hate it. Also, ideas on how to get my mom on board with this. |
t3_3r1fuj | relationships | Me [28M] with my[23F] facebook then meet story, wtf | So, she adds me on facebook for a comment she likes.
We like each other chat, 4 hours+ a day for 2 weeks. We send each other "nude pics" and things like that.
We meet, it's even better than expected. We spend 2 hours kissing. We just can't resist each other. After 4 hours she tells me she needs to go home cause she needs to study "Jihad" for her december exam. Just wtf!?
I was coming from an egoistic relationship, where everything was perfect but the basics. Found the perfect mate, she keeps escaping, wtf do I do? I'm tired of chasing women all of my life, I'm a nice guy, good at everything, funny, wealthy, I don't deserve this..
In all of that, she did the first move. From adding me, to proposing me to go out together to kissing me, but then she always tries to escape, wtf do I do? | Woman adds me on facebook, keeps chatting with me for weeks then we meet. It's even better, we have intimate and intense relationship she suddenly tries to escape. Wtf do I do? |
t3_uqkh4 | AskReddit | Has anyone had experience with mono here? | **Yes, I've seen a doctor already (3 times)**, gotten blood tests, and already got prescribed meds. I haven't received my tests back though. Two days ago my throat became inflamed. It is scary disgusting now. I went to the doctor more than once and I got tested for strep, negative 3 times. So I got tested for mono. Still waiting on the results. But each doctor assumed it was mono. I have a friend who recently got it and before he knew, we shared drinks.
Anyways, I pretty much can't talk, swallow, or eat (even soup), because it's too painful to do so, and the T3's I got don't even help that much. I also have only gotten 6 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights. Which is weird because mono is suppose to make you tired and I'm not even tired right now.
So has anyone had any experience with mono? Or something similar to this? I have anxiety and I'm really scared about the outcome. I just want someone with personal experience to tell me I'm not going to die. If the test results come back positive I will have to get an ultrasound to see if my liver is infected. And also be tested for hepatitis.
Here's a picture of my throat. It's pretty gross, heads up...
[
The first picture is from 6AM this morning, and the second one is from 6PM tonight. I think it's spreading.
I basically just want to know if this is normal for mono, and if anyone's throats have ever been this bad. The person I got it from (or so I think) said his was not nearly as swollen or covered with pus as mine is.
Sorry if this isn't the right subreddit or whatever, but I'm extremely desperate for help.
Thanks. | Scared I'm going to die, so if you have had mono, please just read what I wrote, or tell me about your symtoms. |
t3_2ri90p | relationships | My girlfriend [22 F] recently told me she sees me as more than just a boyfriend, How do I [24 M] tell her I don't see her in the same way? | I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now and she has just recently informed me that she sees me as "more than just a boyfriend" - I take this to mean she wants to spend her foreseeable future with me, whereas I don't really feel the same way about her. She's a nice girl and we've had a good time together but I knew after around a month of being in a relationship with her that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her / marry her, it's just a college relationship to me - we don't match that well, I think in her eyes we do but that's because I have to try incredibly hard and do a lot for her to keep her happy all while putting on a happy face, I'm exhausted by it after a year and being with her has become what feels like a chore.
How do I tell her that I don't feel the same way about her? I know there's the obvious option - "I don't feel the same way", but that's going to prompt questions, how can I tell her why I feel that way when there's not one reason, I just *know* it. | My girlfriend told me she sees me as more than a boyfriend, how do I tell her that I don't see her in the same way? |
t3_1mosl9 | relationships | can you let someone change who they are to be with you, did i do the right thing? | we didn't expect our relationship to turn into what it did, despite each of us having our walls up, we absolutely head over heels fell in love. (M28, F25) it's been an effortless amazing great year, we've talked about the future and we both want to commit (marriage/kids).
biggest problem: i live in two different worlds. i live in my very tight-knit russian community, and then i have my american life. he's willing to learn the language/culture but according to my extremely closed minded parents, thats not enough. im jewish, hes catholic- but hes willing to convert, apparently this is also not enough in my world. the idea to convert and learn - both his, with the support of his amazing family.
ive pushed back in my world to fight for the man i love. Despite everything, i have anxiety and dont know if i can live with having to put him through all that change, even if it is of his own volition. i feel incredibly guilty that the man i love feels like he has to change to be with me, and even worse, that if he does go through with learning the language, adopting the culture and converting, he'll still feel unwelcome in my family and will resent me for it. i just feel stupid and lost. it broke my heart to break it off...this whole ordeal doesn't even feel real, nothing really feels real right now.
i cant let him make all those changes just for me...right? | amazing boyfriend offered to convert and learn russian so we can have a future together, i feel guilty and terrible about what he wants to put himself through, i ended things, feel like it was a mistake. |
t3_43jtgp | Pets | I'm desperate for help with my cat's constant meowing at night. | Here's a little background:
Pure bread 13 y/o female Burmese
Had her since I was 8
Vet check up about a month ago with completely clean bill of health (blood work included) besides fractured jaw which has since healed.
Here's the problem:
I'll be moving for college in about 8 months, and the apartment I'm moving into allows pets. I really want to take my cat with me because we have a really close relationship and she helps me a lot with my anxiety. To me, leaving her at home isn't an option because 1, she has grown very attached to me and hardly eats when I'm gone for longer than a couple days. 2, in the past, my parents have forgotten to feed/water her when I'm gone (I came back home from a weekend trip and her giant water dish was bone dry). And 3, I don't think I could go without her, especially at her old age I'd be devastated if I left and she died.
However, I can see how her meowing would be a real issue for roommates/neighbors. She does it mostly at night, and occasionally during the day and they are loud, very long meows, and they are very consistent throughout the night (especially closer to morning time) Her breed is well known for being very talkative, which is fine, but I think the amount that she meows at night is excessive.
The layout of the apartment is 1,100 square feet and my room will have its own attached bathroom and mid-sized walk in closet, the rest is the common area (kitchen/laundry and other rooms) she will likely spend most of her time in my personal living space unless I'm with her until my roommate gets used to her.
I assume her meowing has something to do with boredom since everyone closes their doors at night (she walks all over us while we sleep otherwise). I've bought her tons of different toys and she only likes one, and she doesn't like treats either.
Any advice would be welcomed because I can't imaging leaving my cat behind, and I really don't want this to be an issue for my roommate(s). | moving into apartment in a few months and want to reduce my cats night meowing so roommates/neighbors aren't bothered. |
t3_2qieqf | Parenting | SO and I disagree about dolls. What do you think? | My SO and I have an almost 5 month old baby boy.
For Christmas this year, my SO's aunt sent our son two beautiful handmade knitted dolls, Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus. We love them, my son loves them(as far as I can tell, he likes to chew on them at least).
Tradition and sentimentality are both very important to me. I think it would be a fun tradition to keep the dolls with our Christmas tree, and bring them out every year for the entire month of December. So it's as if Santa and Mrs. Claus come to visit us every year. I also think that would save a lot of wear and tear on the dolls, as they're just wool and they'll probably be ripped to shreds by our son. I like to think that we can eventually give them to him when he has kids of his own, so he can continue the tradition... but realistically they probably won't last that long. Or he'll grow up to be a cynical realist like his Dad. (lol)
SO is not even remotely sentimental, he thinks that our son should have them access to them all year, so that we can "get as much use out of them as possible". He said that "saving them for some arbitrary reason is just dumb"
Our son has an entire shelf of ~20 plush toys, including dolls, along with pretty much every other toy you can imagine.
What do you think? | We have two handmade Christmas dolls, I want them to be saved as a Christmas tradition so that they stay special and don't get destroyed. SO want our son to have them all the time. What do you think?* |
t3_42osis | relationships | Me [16m] with exchange student [16f]. I am interested in her, but I don't know how to tell her. | There's a German exchange student at my school who I've only recently begun to notice and get interested in. I knew of her before, have talked with her before, etc., but for some reason only now am I starting to think about her. The problem is, it's the end of the first semester, and since I wasn't interested before I never made any efforts to really talk with her, spend time with her, get to know her at all. Now that the school year is half done, she's established her own circle of friends. I feel like it's too late for me now, and I wish so much that I'd been interested sooner, so that I could have gotten to know her back when she needed friends. Now I would feel so intrusive trying to butt at this point. She probably doesn't even know my name, to be honest. That's how little we have interacted.
All the same, for the past few days I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm madly in love (and I was always the one to laugh at other teenagers that used the word "love"), but there's something there. Is this lovesickness lite?
I'm not sure if I should proceed at this point. So much time has been wasted. I've been feeling kind of depressed thinking about it. Honestly, I wouldn't even know how to proceed if I decided to. Please help me! | Exchange student already has circle of friends, I feel like it's too late to get to know her, I don't know whether I should go for it and how I should proceed if I am to. |
t3_2nvh52 | offmychest | This is what happens when your stubbornness becomes your downfall | My grandfather and grandmother live in a small two-story home in Huntington, WV, by themselves. They do not get out much, with my grandfather being 80 and my grandmother being 70 with COPD, Dementia, and Schizophrenia. They both smoke (after stopping once and starting again *ahem* my grandfather) and my grandmother doesn't take her medicine 3/4 of the time. My grandfather has had two wrecks this year alone and almost broke his hip falling down the stairs a couple months ago. For 5 years now, we have been attempting to get them to leave their house and join us (so my mother, a hospice nurse, can take care of them) but my grandfather will not allow it. He constantly makes excuses and says my grandmother hates moving, which is partially true. This Thanksgiving we broke down and had an intervention, telling my grandfather that they would either join us in Georgia by Christmas or we would take protective care of my grandmother. He says he will oblige us but it's not the first time I've heard this... does anyone else have to deal with this type of situation?
Here are some pictures of the house they live in:
These do not nearly capture the dilapidated shack it has become. | My grandfather is so stubborn and lazy that he cannot and will not take care of his house or wife. We are attempting to force them to move to Georgia. |
t3_44jc77 | relationships | How can my husband[32M] and I[22F] best explain to his brother[35M] why he can't find a girlfriend? | My brother in law can't find a girlfriend and he's starting to become really bitter about it. He goes on about how it's not fair that my husband is married and younger than him.
He's even asked me if any of my friends from back home(I'm not from the US) would be willing to marry him for a green card or money.
There's a reason no one wants to be with him. He's an alcoholic with a beer belly that only talks about sports and rents a room from a family, he shares his bathroom with the families kids. That's just not attractive. If my friends wanted a pale,pudgy alcoholic they'd stay where they are!
How can we explain this to him without ripping him to shreds? | My BIL can't get a girlfriend and wants me to get him a mail order bride. He doesn't realize that the fact that he can't get a girl is his own fault. |
t3_31r2n5 | relationships | How do I [23/m] find out if she [22/f] wants an exclusive relationship? | I met a girl on Tinder and we hit it off immediately, we're both really into each other. Kissed on the first date, overnight dates the second and third, and a quick dinner for our 4th. In total I've been seeing and talking to her for two weeks, things have been progressing fast and it's feeling more and more 'coupley' each time we hang out.
I absolutely want to make this girl my girlfriend, but I still feel I need to spend a couple of more weeks with her before I make that decision. However, I'd like to find out if she's in the same camp (looking for an exclusive relationship). How do I ask her what her intentions are without sounding overly imposing, or making it seem like I want to define our relationship this early? She's never asked about my past relationships, which is usually a good foray into her's and what she's looking for, but I don't want to be the one to bring up the past. | Met a girl on Tinder that I've been seeing for two weeks, how do I find out what her intentions are without sounding overly imposing or like I want to define our relationship so early? |
t3_40jr6o | relationships | Me [37 M] in nascent relationship with [37 F]; she's going blind, I don't know how to deal. | I met an amazing woman recently, we seemed to instantly click on every level. We took things a bit too fast; chatted for two weeks or so, had a great first date. A week later our second date consisted of spending the entire weekend in bed.
Then she laid this bombshell on me: She has a rare genetic eye condition which means she will almost certainly be completely blind in 5-10 years.
I don't know what to think. Having this sort of a connection with someone would normally have me over the moon with giddy excitement, but instead I'm just troubled and riddled with doubt. This makes me feel like a horrible person. I know that at four weeks in you're still figuring things out and there are lots of other reasons why it might not work out, but then I'm afraid that I'm going to invent reasons it won't work or subconsciously sabotage.
Part of me says that if it gets to the point where we want a long-term relationship, this will become irrelevant and I should just go with it.
Sorry about the throwaway. Life protip: don't use your Reddit username for your online dating profile. | Have a great connection with an amazing woman I've just met. She well be blind in 5-10 years, I'm totally freaked out at the prospect and frankly feel like a horrible person because of it. |
t3_2jfps1 | relationships | Me [19 M] broke up with my GF [18 F] of six months, it was such an awful time, I almost don't want to date anymore. Help? | So we were dating a pretty short time, and there was a lot of drama with me not being sure if I wanted to be in this with her. I wasn't sure of my feelings at all, and didn't want to hurt her, but she convinced me after a lot of times to give it a try. During the whole relationship, mostly when we were apart (which wasn't super often, we were in high school and saw each other most days, so just when I was home), I had this awful feeling that because I didn't know how I felt, and couldn't really settle in, that I was going to hurt her. That ended up happening when I broke up with her to go to university. I haven't dated anyone since, and when I think about having a relationship, I'm really timid about it because I'm scared it would just be the same thing over again, and that was as close to hell as I ever want to be. It was AWFUL, gave me anxiety and depression. What should I do? | Didn't love my gf, broke her heart, she thinks I'm heartless, scared to date because it might end up the same way. |
t3_1vkmgf | relationships | How should I [17m] ask my crush [18m] out, whose car I crashed into last week? | Two weeks ago I got in a car wreck with a girl that goes my high school. Everything was good, no one was hurt, but I started crushing on her pretty hard. We've talked several times since then, and really [I think] hit it off.
I'm planning to ask her out on Tuesday, when we go back to school, but I have encountered three problems:
1. I get incredibly nervous around girls that I like. Nervous doesn't even begin to describe how I get.
2. I have effectively used the rear end of her car to render my own useless.
3. I have never asked a girl out before, and have no idea how to. All of my relationships just happened, really, and I have always ended up letting the girls come to me.
Do you guys have any tips for asking a girl out for someone that never has had to? Pickup lines encouraged. | I hit a girls car last week, and hit it off, going to ask her out this week, don't know how. |
t3_2kfvi4 | relationships | Me (17M) and my girlfriend of 8 months (17F) , I have a question about how tonight just went. | We go to the movies today and everything is fine. Everything is great, she's acting bubbly and lots of physical contact and eye contact, laughing during the movie (read: everything is fine). When we were leaving I get backed into and the driver tries to pin the accident on me and then backs into me again.
It was very frustrating as we had to wait in the cold and sort it out (it got handled). We were supposed to go back to my place but she said she had too much excitement for today and wanted to go home and the whole drive home was dead silent and I asked if for some reason she was mad at me, she said no. I was very frustrated that we didn't get to hang out afterward but understood what she wanted. At the end she was bubbly and good again, and we kissed good night. Afterwards I texted her and said hey today went shitty want to try tomorrow to which she said she is very busy with her 2 jobs, sorry. I can confirm this isn't an excuse as well. I said no problem, goodnight I love you, and I never got a response, and I'm well aware she received the text as she retweeted something on twitter half an hour after I sent it.
Is everything fine? I went through a phase of asking if everything was okay much too often and she created distance, I've stopped that and things have gotten much better over the past 2-3 weeks.
My course of action is to just leave it be and stop by at her work tomorrow with a coffee just to say hi. Things between us have been super good and I feell as though this isn't really a problem between us and just a bad case of events. | She didn't respond to an I love you text, is everything alright? We had a rough night, both of us were cold and tired but nothing happened between us. |
t3_39fzy9 | AskDocs | I'm considering deep brain stimulation for treatment resistant depression. If anyone could weigh in on this big decision... <3 | I'm not really sure where to put this so I figured I'd stick it here. If the mods don't like it maybe they'll know where I can get some feedback.
I'm thinking about getting deep brain stimulation for treatment resistant depression. I've tried around 35 different medications, three which have been effective but only 1 that was effective without giving me dysfunctional side effects, that medication is Zoloft. I ramped Zoloft up to 275 mg and now I sleep 15 hours a day which is not doable. I'm always lethargic and it's not worth it.
You can recommend another treatment, but most likely I've tried it. | Could anyone please help me weigh the pros/cons of this treatment? My depression is really inhibiting my ability to approach this decision. |
t3_1m347x | relationships | I [17M] am madly in love with my girlfriend [16F], but I think I may have to end the relationship | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year, and I love her more than anything else in the world. Before I go on, I realize some of you might not see two teenagers as having "true love", but it's a real as it gets for us at this age. Anyway, she lives about 30 miles from me, but one of us usually makes the commute every week or two to see each other. The problem is, ever since the school year started, we seem to be too busy for each other. I should point out that she is ridiculously smart and gets crazy good grades, so when we spend a day together, she loses a lot of studying or homework time. So that's the first problem for me. Also, I'm going to go to college in a year, so obviously, we should make this year count, right? Well I'm starting to think that if we start seeing each other so infrequently, it'll be kind of unfair to both of us when we can't see each other for months on end. That's why I sort of feel like it would be more fair to her if I let her go so she can find a guy who can spend more time with her.
However, like I said before, I love her so so much. The thought of her being with anyone else just sickens me. But still, I want what's best for her, and if staying with me is unhealthy, then maybe I should end the relationship. Do you guys have any advice? | I love my girlfriend more than life itself, but since we can't spend enough time together, I think I should maybe break up with her. Advice? |
t3_175lwq | dating_advice | I [22m] need a little help with asking out a shy girl [22f] | A little context: I met this girl last semester at school by chance when we ended up in a project group together, I thought she was cute but beyond that I didn't really have a crush on her. We would chat a little bit before the start of each class but I could tell she was pretty shy.
Cut to this semester; we have another class together and this term she has been a lot warmer, she initiates conversations more often and is just more talkative in general and I've started to develop an interest in her as a result (I should note that in spite of this I can tell she is still pretty shy more generally).
I don't have any experience when it comes to asking out shy girls so I'm not sure if my approach should be any different. I usually only have about 5 minutes to talk her outside of class when I see her so should I just ask if she wants to grab a coffee on the weekend? Or is this an awful situation to put someone who is shy in? | Not sure of the best way to ask out a girl who is quite shy, also light, casual date ideas are welcome! |
t3_2ky7q1 | relationships | I [19M] Don't Believe in No Sex Before Marriage. How do you feel about it? Why? | My belief isn't based on the fact that I'm a guy and just want sex.
I'm just curious to see what people think about having sex before marriage. I understand that there are some hardcore beliefs on this matter due to religion, but there has to be a time when every religious person experiments. I previously was "dating" this girl who was Christian. It really would've been the perfect relationship, and I'm not saying it would be perfect because of having sex, but it would be perfect to be able to do it comfortably without feeling any guilt because of going against what your religion thinks.
Everyone is different (obviously), so don't condemn me for having a different view from yours, but I don't believe in not having sex before marriage. I've previously had the chance to speak to someone with the same viewpoint, and they explained it the easiest: having sex before marriage is like buying a new car; you need to test drive it before you know if you like it. Why do you want to make a long-term commitment like that without any prior intimacy, start having sex, and then completely dislike it with them or dislike something about them?
> | Do you prefer to wait until marriage to have sex, or do you think you should "test-drive" the person, even if you are a religious type of person? |
t3_2calfn | relationships | I [18F] have started seeing this guy [19M] and he's everything I've ever wanted but I'm worried he'll be sick of me before we even go out again. | I met the guy in question while I was still in high school. We had the same group of friends but be was dating this girl who I wasn't a big fan of. Anyway, a little over a month ago I decided to chat him and we haven't stopped talking since. He's intelligent and we both go to universities in the same area.
My problem is that I've never been so into someone that I'M the one that's worried about being boring. It's usually the opposite for me. When the guy in question broke up with his ex he told me it was because she was boring and he just didn't like her anymore.
For now it seems like he's into me, we actually hung out the day before yesterday and it was amazing. And even though we talk all day every day and even late into the night I'm worried that one day I'll just be boring too.
Also, he's pretty good friends with MY ex. He says he doesn't care what my ex might say about mine and his' relationship. (We're not actually in a romantic relationship right now, I'd definitely like to be, but I'm not sure what his stance on a romantic relationship between both of us actually is. Especially because of the ex thing.)
He seems really into me, and I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time. I believe that's why I may be worried. Help? | really into this guy, don't know if he wants a relationship with me. If he does I'm afraid he'll dump me like his ex bc I'm boring. Help. |
t3_izs6j | AskReddit | Friend was locked out of apartment pantsless; who's at fault? | So I share an apartment with a friend, John, and we don't usually lock our door. We had another friend, David, over, and as he left, he told me he was locking the door. I acknowledged this, but didn't do anything. This morning, after I left for work, John went out without his keys, pants, or phone to dump a bag down the trash chute, and got locked out. He had to walk down the street and call his mother to look up my number so I could let him back in.
He's pissed at me now. I think the fundamental reason I cannot feel at fault here is that I took no action. Am I right here? | friend locked door, I didn't tell roommate, roommate walked around pantless for a bit, now he's pissed. Am I at fault? |
t3_1oqvoz | relationships | I feel like I'll never forgive myself for ruining the most perfect relationship I could imagine | Me [M24] and my girlfriend [F24] were together for 4 years, and we were ridiculously happy. We lived together, had our future completely planned out, loved each other so much.
I had cheated about 3 years into our relationship. Its no excuse and no one can hate me more than myself for doing what I did but it was purely because of alcohol and the girl throwing herself at me (I'm no stud, actually quite insecure which is probably half the reason I did it).
She found out, and broke up with me! We tried to make it work, but she said she couldn't live with the images of me with the other girl in her head. I completely understand that.
I gave up everything to be with her, moved to a new city.. Gave up my career that involved travelling to be home with her. Now I've moved back home and have nothing and no friends.
The last time I saw her we had an amazing day. Cuddled, kissed and she said she will always love me. I'm glad but this makes it harder. I told her that I want her more than anything in the world but I'm not going to beg her to come back to me because I wouldn't want her to go through any upset - and that if she ever felt ready to live with it then I'd be waiting for her. I 100% believe I will always love her more than anything in the world.
I never knew it was possible to love someone like that until I fell in love with her. Now I ruined it, and I'm completely and utterly to blame.
I think about her every second of every day (its been 4 months ish) and feel like I'll never get over her - and to be quite honest I don't want to, I just want her back!
What should I do?! | I drunkenly cheated on my girlfriend and ruined the most perfect relationship I could imagine. Don't know how to move on. |
t3_1bjbxi | relationships | Am I [f29] emotionally cheating on my boyfriend[29] with my gay friend[31]? What's going on? | This is my first really long relationship, and it's a four year long one at that. While me and my boyfriend of course don't always see eye to eye, we generally have a relationship full of love and respect. There's no puppy love left after all this time, but I'd definitely say I still love the guy and know he feels the same.
We're both working and there's a two hour drive in between us, with both of us living pretty close to our respective workplaces. This leads to us not meeting often during the weekdays (although it does happen a few times a month), instead spending most entire weekends together.
In turn, I spend more time in the weekdays with one of my friends from work. Not every evening of course, but we go to each other's flats often enough to hang out. This has never been an issue. My boyfriend isn't the jealous type, what's more my friend is gay. We may have grown incredibly close, but things are off limits by nature and this has never been a problem to me.
These past few weeks, my friend has started dating this guy he met on the internet. I was very happy to hear this, cause he's had a lot of problems finding somebody who seemed his type, but now things were turning out very well for him.
But while I am happy for him still, I can't help but feel jealous somehow. It feels weird that somebody will get to nab him. Somebody not me? A few days ago when he was showing me his and his date's text correspondence like he's done so many times before, I found myself being overly judging and critical of everything his date put. What's more, at one point I started getting some idea in my head to just grab his head and kiss his thoughts away. *"You're not leaving me"* I thought.
Leaving? He's not even mine. I'm with my boyfriend, and I feel happy with him. I have no idea what my head is doing at the moment and it's really annoying. Feels like some kind of high school drama I should have had many years ago. Is this what emotional infidelity is like? Am I cheating on my boyfriend? | my friend has finally found a potential future partner and I feel like crap about it, and I feel guilty over feeling like crap about it. Am I emotionally cheating on my bf now? |
t3_mb2zs | AskReddit | Morality in a post-religious existence | I was raised in a Roman Catholic family. At around age 12 or 13, I stopped being a true believer, but continued going to mass. About a year later I fully removed myself from the Church, as I began to doubt the idea of hell, free will, etc. I am now 21, and I feel that an unintended consequence of this has been a loss of my morals.
Recently, I had a very public sexual episode that left me seriously ashamed. I didn't "hurt" anyone (except maybe the reputation of myself and of the girl), and there was definitely consent by both parties, but I still am left feeling like a P.O.S. When I think back to how I "re-formed" my morals after leaving the church, I think the only consideration I made was "will this hurt anyone else" and as long as the direct answer was NO, I figured it was OK (remember, this is 14-18 year old me... unfortunately). I gave no consideration to social norms or sexual conservatism. I think that after feeling as if I had been lied to (through the more gloom and doom aspects of Catholicism) for so many years, I had trouble believing any of the very rational moral rules passed down by the institution.
So my question is, to those of you who were NOT raised in a religious household, how did you and your parents determine what was "right" and "wrong" and what would you say are your defining morals? And to those who were raised in a religious family and LEFT, like myself, I ask the same question. Part of me worries I'm too old to really create a "constitution" for myself and I would do better to return to the church for the therapeutic and spiritual aspects, but I know that my lack of belief in a God makes this unreasonable and dishonest.
Thanks Reddit. | I had a crazy public sexual experience that left me questioning my moral base. I now ask the good people of Reddit to advise me on morals in a post-religious existence. |
t3_gcum2 | AskReddit | How dysfunctional is normal dysfunctional family? And are dysfunctional families even normal? | By definition they shouldn't be, but it's always been the way I perceived them. I've never thought that my family was perfect, but I assumed that, like every other family, we had our problems, even though those problems took up most of our family life together. I thought we were normal. But apparently I've been hoodwinked; the last three guys I've dated have all had close to what I would called Stepford families. They were so perfect I was, and am, extremely jealous of their relationship with each other. It wasn't just superficial perfection either, I spent time with these people and got to know them and came to the conclusion that they were just a loving family that at times argued, but never really had any serious conflict in their lives concerning each other. Is this normal? Do people acknowledge it as normal? Or was I unjustly convinced by a combination of (possibly) extra dysfunction and a Hollywood portrayal of over-dramatized family interaction? Or maybe I just have a guy-with-a-great-family fetish. Hmm. Anyway, present your thoughts, reddit. | I think my family is more dysfunctional than I thought because I spend a lot of time with other people's families which are more or less perfect. How much dysfunction in a family is normal? |
t3_3awbhz | relationships | 25(m) and 19(f) break up, now getting mixed signals. Advice needed. | Hey so my gf of 2 years broke up with a month ago over needing to be single for once in her life, family and friends pressuring the single life and due to me being interested and talking about real world issues to often. Such as environmental destruction, third world sufferings, etc.
She insisted she still loved me but that our relationship happened too soon in her life. Which i respect she's young, but based on who be both are I assumed we could manage it long term.
She texted me off and on and then wanted to catch up over tea. Next thing I know, she's talking about how she hasn't slept with anyone cuz she has to love the person to be intimate. And that she cant love anyone else because she loves me still.
So that night she comes over, has sex twice, sleeps over, and then tells me the next day about how unfair her family and friends speak of me. And how she doesn't understand why they can't see in me what she does. And thus doesn't know if her doing this is right.
Now she wants to go out once a week with me for a walk or whatever, without any of them knowing.
She still texts me randomly about being lonely and when I mention her coming over she tells me that she doesn't want to continue that habit. So why text me your lonely then? | Shes a sweet girl. Trying to make everyone else happy. But what does it sound like she's doing here? With the exception that she's just using me in some way. Thanks for your time. |
t3_x63fw | AskReddit | How do I broach this with my parents?(long) | I think I need to go get some professional psychiatric help. For as stupid as it sounds, I was inspired to do so by reading *It's Kind of a Funny Story*. I've been having bouts of depression throughout high school and recently they've gotten a bit worse. It's hard and there are days where I don't want to get out of bed, weeks where food is not okay to even look at and is a battle to keep down, mental shutdowns and other things, which don't mesh well with school and life and my parents are the "there's nothing wrong with my kid" type people.
I'm starting sophomore year in university in a month; freshman year was a travesty. I couldn't handle any of it. I found my thoughts cycling, most involving school and how much of a fuck up I am, etc. I almost failed both semesters and they can't wrap their heads around it being anything but sheer laziness. | I think I need help but my parents are the "not my kid" type people, how do I talk to them about it? |
t3_kx0hi | AskReddit | Men of Reddit, I need car help! | Hey men of Reddit, or females. I'm an 18 year old girl looking for her first car (please refrain from Women Drivers No Survivors jokes). My parents are buying it and my budget can't reach beyond roughly 13,000 to shell out for said vehicle. Im a senior in high school and the car must last through college, and hopefully beyond until I have to buy one myself. It almost must be big enough to carry all my junk to and from school. I learned to drive in a jeep and love them a lot, so I'd like to stay there but my parents refuse to buy me a wrangler, and in some ways I can't blame them. I just find them very kick ass and would love to own one. But really any SUV, that isn't a ford, will do (I hate ford handling, plus I'm from the south and a chevy girl only.) Anyway, the car choice isn't why I am here. I found a red Acura MDX, 2003, and it is only 8,000. These cars normally run a couple thousand higher than that and so I knew there was something imperfect with it, of course. It has 172,000+ miles on it. Now here is my dilemma. My mother is incredibly anal about miles on the car, and will probably shoot me down before I even ask about the car for that number of miles. My question is "Why?" I know the number of miles are important for a preowned car, but is there anything I can do here? This has been a dream first car for a while and I'd hate to pass up such a great price, so what's my worst case scenario for that number of miles? And if you have any suggestions for a good used car, that would be nice too! | ? I'm buying my first used car, and don't know shit about miles on the car. NEED HELP to deal with mother, who's buying the vehicle. |
t3_4w0xak | relationships | My [24 F] boyfriend [26 M] broke up with me and now wants to get back together | My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for 8 months. We were going through a rough patch the last two months (I was handling my grief badly and he stopped communicating/trying) - leading to him dumping me a couple days before he was vacationing in my home city with his friends via phone. Devastated, I purged everything (photos, social media, etc) and didn't contact him. His last day here, he reached out to meet for a final time since he was flying back home. While we talked, I confronted him about the way he treated me the last two months of the relationship and how I felt he was selfish with me. The conversation ended with him apologizing and asking if we could get back together.
I immediately told him we couldn't get back together because he had really hurt me when he dumped me and didn't try to work things out; if I took him back now, I would be saying those actions would be okay. We agreed to have a trial period of just talking as friends but agreed not to hook up with other people in the meantime while we try to work on our issues. I've made it clear we'd be starting from brand new, and he would have to prove that he has a willingness to change. He agreed to make me the priority, communicate better, and try to learn how to address my needs like I do his.
My problem now is that I know I'm still reeling from the emotional rawness of the breakup. It's clear it affected me more than it did him. I feel like I'm having a hard time trusting him to stay and feel a bit betrayed. I'm trying to figure out if this relationship is worth moving forward and how to do that. Any advice would be much appreciated. | Boyfriend dumped me, apologized and asked to rekindle things a few days later, and now I'm struggling how to move forward. |
t3_43l0ur | tifu | TIFU by getting a group of kids to chant "weed" at church | This happened a few hours ago, this morning.
So my church has two service times, early and late. I always attend the early service and help out in the 3rd-5th grade Sunday School during late service. I usually just sit by the kids to make sure that they don't talk during the lesson, because a teenager sending a look in their direction during the lesson usually quiets them really quickly.
So here's where I mess up.
In the lesson, the adult talking is asking the kids if certain things are "wants" or "needs." The usual, clothing, food, an xbox, etc. The kids chant either need or want, and then he moves on to the next one. But, as he starts getting into harder ones, the kids aren't sure, and they go quiet. Being the incredibly smart guy that I am, I lean over to one boy and say "try combining the words if you don't know, like ne-ant." He smiles and starts chanting "ne-ant,"
and the adult, guessing that he's saying the right one, moves on to the next one. But, after one or two, the kids start having trouble pronouncing "ne-ant," and the one that I told to combine them thinks for a second, putting together want and need, and starts to chant "weed." Apparently, the other kids like this version better and start continuously chanting "weed" over and over, even when the adult talking hasn't said anything. The other teenagers adults and I in the room desperately try and get them to stop chanting "weed," for fear that a parent might walk in and hear it. The kids think that us trying to get them to stop is funny, and start chanting even louder. Finally, we break them up into small groups, which stops the chanting, but not before a few parents enter and ask what was going on.
So yeah. | Told a kid to combine the words "need" and "want" and ended up with an entire Sunday School classroom chanting "weed." |
t3_45gnar | relationships | My (32M) ex Fiance (27F) and I haven't spoken since we broke up on back on December 7th (were supposed to get hitched Oct 10th). I'm tempted to contact her just to see where her head is, is this a good idea? | A few days after we broke up I accepted a job offer to my dream job & am now making a lot more money & am about to buy a house (two things she'd complained about my not doing sooner when we were together)...I've refused to attempt to speak to her 1st, because even though I could have probably gotten her back before now, I despise her stubborn attitude so much that I don't want to have anything to do with it. We'd been practically best friends for 2 years doing everything together until August when we'd had a 2 week micro break up & we didn't speak until I broke the silence then. I've got a thing with a new girl kinda going on (moving really slowly intentionally), but I can't see myself ever getting truly attached to another woman the way I was to my Ex.
Is it a good idea to just not speak to my ex ever again unless she decides to contact me again, or should I try to speak to her because I wonder how she's doing? | not spoken to ex 2 months since breakup, & am missing my ex despite her really stubborn personality. Have had multiple positive changes in my life since breakup, should I call ex or continue intentionally not speaking to her until she calls me? |
t3_3c98nh | relationships | Me [25F] with my bf [28 M] of 2.5 years. I am realizing hes not the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. | I 25 f live with my bf 28m. We are engaged but I am starting to realize that he is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Our close-ness has been strained over the last few months because I don't know how to talk to him about it. Also, I am worried that he would kick me out (and honestly, as shitty as it sounds) I don't have anywhere else to go. I have been saving up for the past couple months and in another 2-3 mos I will be able to have enough for a down payment on an apartment in case that does happen. | Strained relationship with bf because I don't want to be with him and dont know how to tell him. Any advice? |
t3_51ja7z | askwomenadvice | I [20 F] am starting to have feelings for my guy friend [20 M] but I'm in a relationship. Am I terrible? | I've been in a relationship for the past 8 months. Last year, I started hanging out with a new group of friends. I met one guy that I'm still really good friends with today, I'll call him Jay.
I thought he was really cute when I met him, and it seemed like we had some chemistry and stuff in common, but I soon found out he had a girlfriend of 2 years so I backed off completely. I started dating his friend a few months later, I'll call him Adam. Me and Adam have been together ever since.
I always kind of knew in the back of my mind that I might still be somewhat attracted to Jay, but I never entertained the thought. But lately I've been feeling the attraction really strong for some reason. It seems like we flirt but don't realize it. We're playfully mean to each other, and in general we just have a lot of fun together. He says I'm his partner in crime. If we're all hanging out and I'm about to go somewhere he'll say "Nooo! Don't leave!". I think he might be finding small excuses to touch me, but I could be reading into that too much. One time we were hanging out alone (because we were waiting on other friends that cancelled) and he kept making comments like "People are gonna think we're dating" and he'll try to list reasons why we wouldn't be good together while blushing and laughing. People have also confused us for a couple on several occasions. The other night he also confessed to me that he thinks I'm cute. I know that's a very low grade comment and could mean nothing, but still.
I feel terrible about feeling this way. I don't want the attraction to grow but I also don't want to just stop hanging out with my friend. I don't even know if this is all in my head. I feel like a terrible girlfriend. I would NEVER cheat on Adam no matter how much I'm crushing, I would never even think about it. But I just want to know how to get these feelings to go away.. am I a terrible person? | I'm in a relationship but starting to have feelings for a guy friend and I dont know how to get rid of them. |
t3_1at746 | relationships | My gf's (34f) kids are usually bad and very disrespectful, we are about to move in together and I (35m) am worried. | My gf and I have a really good relationship. It started off casual and now it has got to the point where we are planning on moving in together. She has 2 kids (7m & 14f) and most of the time they are disrespectful and rude. Her son has ADHD and is on medication, he splits time with her and his dad during the week. His dad lets him do whatever he wants and buys him toys every time they are out, so as soon as he is back at his moms, he is satan. He throws a huge tempter tantrum everytime she tells him no and does not listen most of the time. Her daughter just "ran away" from home last week and has gotten suspended from school 3 times since January. She has no respect for authority. I tell my gf to punish them more (i.e spankings for her son) and take away all of the privileges for her daughter but it seems like she forgets about them after a few days. My question is, how do help her with the kids and should I discipline them once we move in together. I have no kids and this is my first serious relationship with a woman with kids. I am worried this will scare me away when we move in together | I am worried my gf's kids will be so bad when we move in together that it will cause me and her to break up |
t3_euwyd | AskReddit | Anyone have experience with past rape victims or advice for the boyfriend of one? | Sorry for the wall of text, but I was pretty emotional when I wrote this. Edited it a bit to clarify.
My girlfriend (whom I've been dating for just a short while now) has never really been open to having sex or even discussing anything physical/sexual. All she would tell me about it is that her last boyfriend betrayed her. Of course, I'd get more and more frustrated because I had no idea where the hell our relationship was going.
As this went on I started to get the impression that what happened with her last boyfriend might have done something worse than the usual stuff you' expect. This was pretty much a gut feeling based on how distant and almost scared she'd get if we ever got close to doing something physical.
Recently, as we were talking, she sort of let slip that what happened was along the lines of rape. Of course, this confirmed my worst suspicions and I'm really at a loss for where to go from here. She's a really sweet girl and it makes me sick that someone would think of doing something like that to her. I made sure to tell her that she could trust me and that nothing that happened was her fault. However, understandably, she doesn't want to talk about it.
What should I do? Pressing her for answers would clearly be the wrong thing to do, so I'm just giving her time. (This happened years ago, by the way. She tells me she's kind of over it, but something like that would not be easy to get over and I get the feeling she really isn't. She also didn't really give me any specifics at all about it so I have no idea how bad it was or how far he got or anything). I suppose bringing up sex and that kind of thing is also out of the question. We're having a lot of trouble communicating because of all of this, and she still totally shuts off when I try to talk to her about the future of our relationship. | Girlfriend of couple of months may have been raped or almost raped a few years ago and is totally turned off of doing anything physical and doesn't communicate at all, and I have no idea what to do. |
t3_20npii | personalfinance | OMG I have money now what do I do? | After a short marriage/ill family member/etc. it had been almost 5 years since I was able to pay a bill with my own money. I had 2 defaulted credit cards and several outstanding debts and a $3.5k student loan. Fast-forward: Living with my parents rent free making ok money when BAM huge tax return hits. Paid off one credit card, all but one outstanding bill, make arrangements to pay them. In school so putting tiny payments on student loan. Almost 3 months of bills in savings, plus the $900 for my summer vacation, looking at having all my financial goals hit 2 years early. I'm extremely frugal, probably from being so poor, and have hundreds left over after budgeting all my spending money and spend less than my budget states. I just keep shoving it into savings but in a couple months I'll hit all my goals. WTH do I do with this money once that happens?!?! | Will be debt free/making payments to raise my credit score and have reached my savings goal in 2 months. What next? |
t3_vx2ys | AskReddit | 22/m/Cali wondering if it's actually a good idea to move east for a few years to earn money? If so, where? | As the title says, I'm 22M from northern California. I also have a background in customer service and information technology with linux and satellite networking focuses. Graduated college at 18 and have been working ever since so I have experience. I have a car and fairly minimal furnishings. I don't have any pets or dependents. I live on my own because I can't stand living with roommates but, to afford rent and pay my bills, it costs pretty much my entire paycheck so I can't save anything.
People keep telling me that back east, especially in the central/mountain states, the cost of living is significantly lower than it is here in Cali. I can believe that. My question is, however, would moving back east for a few years actually allow me to save money? Or is it less expensive in some areas but more in others (evening out). Has anyone actually done anything like this? If so, when and how'd it go? Do you regret it or was it awesome?
Also, if I do decide to move east, where should I look at going? I like colder weather and I die in the heat. I also prefer dry heat to humidity any day. Those two things more or less excludes the bible belt. I don't mind moving to a smaller town or whatnot so long as I can find a decent tech or management job.
Any thoughts, ideas, or advice, Reddit? Thank you! | Nothing tying me down here. Can't save money either. Should I move east? If so where? Open to all suggestions/advice. |
t3_4e425f | relationships | Should I [21 M] let a girl [19 F] know I just want to be friends? | Thank you for the help in advance.
I've been hanging out, and talking to this girl on Facebook since the summer; I think we are just friends, but it's really unclear since we never established what are relationship is early on.
We are both in college, but go for walks and go to the library together every so often when we are on vacations since we live in the same town. I've actually known her and have been friends with her since 4th grade, but we really only started hanging out and talking regularly this summer when we met up at our towns summer festival.
We don't flirt or anything on these hangouts, just catch up on how each other is doing and talk and things like that; I don't think she has have given signs that has shown she wanted to be more than friends, but am not 100% sure. We don't talk all the time on Facebook either, sometimes weeks can go by before we talk again.
We haven't hung out in a couple months because of school, but we will be meeting up again in the next couple of weeks.
I just have feeling for her as friends, but since we have been hanging out for a while I'm worried I could be potentially leading her on even though we have not really talked about being anything more. Sometimes it feels as if there is unspoken tension between us. I just want to make sure I don't hurt her since I care about her, and her feelings a lot. | Should I tell my female friend, that I've known for years but started hanging out with last summer, I only have feelings for her as a friend the next time we meet or let things continue as is? |
t3_36brvd | relationships | I [21 M] have been in love with her [21F] for over two years and I finally have a chance but I need help. | Okay so I will try and keep this as brief as I can. I met this girl over two years ago when we were freshmen in college. I fell for her instantly and we had amazing chemistry. She was and still is perfect. However she had just been dumped by her boyfriend of two years and got back together with them a few months after we met.
Starting the day we met we have text everyday, including hours of phone calls when we could. She also transferred schools about 6 months after we meet to go to a nursing school on the other side of the state (about four hours away from me.) She's drunkenly told me she thinks I am her soul mate and we are extremely close. We spend time with each other every chance we get.
Fast forward to the present, her term ended two weeks ago and she will be living about 20 minutes away from me for the next few months. Her and her boyfriend broke up about a month ago. They dated four years and obviously she was hurt by that.
She spent the night with me last week and I am head over heels for this girl. She is all I think about. But the day I drove her home after that night she went and hung out with him and talked with him (I understand but still weird right?) We kissed again last night and she texts me today while she is hanging out with him again.
I totally understand feelings don't just go away but I just want her to finally choose me. | Been in love with a girl for two years and finally have a chance with her after her 4 year relationship ended. We kissed and now I need advice. |
t3_3lk4il | dogs | [Help] Should I keep my Labrador Retriever in the House or outside in a small garden? | I had this question in mind for a lot of time. He is pretty big now 6 years old :p. I want him in the house but my mother says it's better for him to be outside in our small backyard. Also she says he losses a lot of fur which is common. (Not a lot but you know what i mean) and that he will make the house a mess. I just feel that he is getting older and I want to spend more time with him. And I can't be outside all the time and play with him all day long. So if I had him in the house I could play more he could goof around and look at us. On the other part he has his own dog house a small backyard some toys. | Should I move my pet into the house? I play with him but after I go inside I feel he has nothing to do alone outside. |
t3_l382j | AskReddit | What do you think would happen if everyone in the US suddenly had an "even" share of the US's wealth? | Using the the approximate wealth of the US found on [Wikipedia] which it's current, so I'll just figure about $50 Trillion... and the approximate population of the US found on [same site] which is 312 Million people... let's just say that every man woman and child's wealth was "reset" to zero, and then they were given their "fair share" of... $160,256.41. To make it more fun, let's say businesses were all reset as well, so people had to set up their own shops again, etc. etc.
What do you think would happen? Would uneducated people squander their money? At the end 10 years, who would have the most money? Would the same people end up on top? Does wealth favor the unscrupulous? | Everyone in the US has to start from scratch with exactly $160,256.41. What would happen in the next 10 years? What about 20? |
t3_2fc6e2 | relationships | Me [24F] just had a nauseating realization about last relationship | I'm not totally sure this is the right place to post this, but it kind of falls under the category of relationships and I could definitely use some advice or commiseration.
I just realized that I haven't kissed anyone in over a year. Not a big deal, obviously I haven't been obsessing over it if I just realized it. But that realization led to the natural observation that the last person I kissed was my ex who literally makes me feel like throwing up whenever I see him. He was emotionally abusive and once physically abusive and all around a pretty shitty boyfriend.
It really bothers me that he's the last guy I kissed. I don't want to go plant my lips on the first willing human but I also don't want to know the last person physically close enough to me to kiss was that dingbat. Thoughts? | I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that the last person I kissed was my awful ex-boyfriend. |
t3_2rtsas | relationships | My [28 F] friend's [31 F] awful relationship with her boyfriend [34 M] is ruining our friendship | I because friends with Marie [31 F] in the spring. We were each other's first close friend after moving to a new town. Over the summer she began seeing this guy Jon [34 M]. Jon is a selfish douchebag and treats her like shit - lying, cheating, controlling her, etc. The consensus in our larger group of friends is that he's an asshole and no one wants to deal with him.
Marie tells me about the things Jon does to her and their ensuing fights. I've told her he's an asshole and that she deserves better and she seems to agree. However she continues to put up with his shit and instead of having a serious conversation with him about it she bitches to me. I want to be there for her but I can't take hearing any more about their awful relationship. I've told her numerous times that the way he treats her is unacceptable and she needs to give him an ultimatum to shape up or else she leaves but she's unwilling to do so.
Is there anything I can say to her to get her to realize that this guy is awful? I think the answer is no and all I can do is remind her how great she is and that she deserves someone that loves her. She needs to realize on her own that he's an asshole.
In the meantime, how do I tell her that I am tired of hearing about her relationship bullshit? How do I phrase it in a way that she understands I am here for her if she needs me but if she's going to keep going back to this guy I don't want to hear about their day to day drama?
Thanks for the help. | Friend in a terrible relationship complains to me about her boyfriend instead of talking to him to either fix or end the relationship. How can I tell her I no longer want to hear about their drama while still maintaining our friendship? |
t3_2p1hez | askwomenadvice | Need some inside on her thinking. | in the start of my relationship with my current girlfriend(17, 18 Now) and me (16, 18 Now), she still had feeling for her ex-boyfriend which she broke it off with so she could be with me.
now what i don't understand is that she still had feelings for him and talked about him ALOT even tho she told me he was abusive, and controlling towards her, she basically started cutting herself and stopped eating because of him, but she still had feelings for him? i have asked her about it, but she says "i dont know" whenever i ask?
i saved her from a bad past and took her into my warm, i made her stop cutting, eating normal and start training, but still she had feelings for him, the guy that beat her up and didn't let her talk with other people. | Ex-Bf was beating her up and controlling, she still had feelings for him after i helped her stop cutting, eat normal and start training |
t3_3eet1m | jobs | Should I Leave job I hate for pretty much the same job at a different company | Hi guys...longtime lurker looking for some advice.
I used to really like my job...especially the company. The perks were good (bonuses, lunch, travel etc).I get paid fairly well (I'm a lawyer working in sort of a non-law job... compliance) and have some level or stress but over all I had a pretty good quality
of life. I recently got a new boss who I absolute hate. He's not a bully and I can hold my own but the thought of coming in day after day makes me upset. As a result, I've become pretty apathetic about this place...don't like the company, paranoid about my coworkers, fantasize about quitting. All the common symptoms of hating my job.
A few months ago a recruiter contacted me about a position, on a whim I agree to an interview. Much to my surprise I get a (verbal) offer. I turn down the offer. The pay was good (above my current salary but equal when you factor in bonuses) but honestly I got cold feet...at that point I was in the early stages of disliking my current job so I wasn't as hellbent on GTFOT.
I talk to the recruiter not too long ago and it turns out the position is still available and if I am interested they are too.
My biggest hesitation about taking this job is that is very much a lateral move and the general consensus seems to be your career growth should (generally) reflect upward movement. By taking this job I'm worried I'm setting myself back a few years...and yet I'm not sure if I can stay in my current role long enough to hold out. Last week I was really really close to just quitting (even without a job lined up).
As an aside, I interview for my "dream" position...it was very very senior and unfortunately I didn't get it (bummed but not real surprised).
What would some of you do if in my position? | Hate current job, potentially have another offer for a lateral move at different company not sure if this would be a mistake for my career. Thoughts??? |
t3_2rtaem | relationships | My [19f] boyfriend [20M] doesn't know how to communicate how he feels | My boyfriend and I started seeing each other last September, and it's been kind of rocky until December. Since then we've been 100% together and are happy with one another.
Essentially my boyfriend claims that he isn't sure how to express how he feels, particularly about things that have emotional depth. I've asked him, "Why do you think I'm special/What is it about me that you really like?" only to receive, "I'm not sure, I'd have to think about it". This is hurtful to me because I feel as though you shouldn't have to really think much about why you care about someone, but he claims it's because he doesn't know how to do it. This confuses me, enough for me to suggest he post here, but then said he didn't know how to write it out so I'm doing it for him. He becomes very upset, as he believes expressing these feelings should be easy, but he is unsure how to do it at all. He also claims that he's afraid that he would give a wrong answer, because he doesn't know the right answer, and he doesn't want to upset or disappoint me. I have no expectations for what I want him to say, other than honesty, and I don't expect grand proclamations of love and affection.
I'm not really sure how to help him with this, as I'm certainly no therapist. What should he/I do? | Boyfriend isn't sure how to express his feelings, and I'd like to help him in any way I can. |
t3_rscvt | AskReddit | What's the silliest thing you've been stopped by a cop/given a ticket for, Reddit? | This anecdote actually comes from one of my best friends. Let's call him Frobozz. So, Frobozz is leaving his neighborhood, like he does often, to head to work. You see, there's an intersection right before he gets to the main road that is a four way stop. However, they've completely torn apart the intersecting road, to redo it. So, there are two huge concrete barriers and two huge ROAD CLOSED signs. The stop signs, however, remains firmly in place. Well, naturally, given that there essentially is no other road to stop for, no one stops at that intersection. Well, on this particular day, there happened to be a cop stationed nearby. Frobozz, unaware of this, ran the sign like he would any other day. He was promptly pulled over and given a ticket. According to him, the officer stated, "Son, if there's a stop sign, you stop..." even if the other road is none-existent.
This actually made me pretty mad. Because I'm sure the cop just knew he could get an easy ticket towards his quota. I figure that's why he was hanging out at that intersection in the first place. | My buddy got a ticket for running a stop sign, even though the other road was completely torn out to be redone. |
t3_241y7s | relationships | Me [21 F] with my ex [22M] of 4 months after 3 years, send me a mean text out of the blue and i dont know how to handle it | My ex and I broke up in January after about 3.5 years or so of dating (it was pretty serious). I've since moved across the country since I graduated in December, and he graduates in May. We haven't spoken in about 2 months, but when we did it was short and pleasant.
I've been moving on pretty well--surprisingly well--and hadn't talked about him with anyone for a while. I told him when we broke up that I thought at least a year of no contact would be best, and then maybe we would try being friends (I've since wondered whether that's something I actually want, but that's another story).
I woke up this morning to a text saying "Are you kidding me? You're so shallow its embarassing." I responded "What?" and he replied "You're unbelievable, I'm embarrassed for you." I called him twice and texted back that I had no idea what he was talking about and didn't understand why he was texting me when we hadn't been in contact for months.
It's been 5 hours now, and he hasn't responded or returned my calls. A mutual friend went to the gym with him and tried to get an answer but was shut down.
I'm not sure how to handle this. I have no clue what I did (if anything), so I'd like to know what's going on. I don't want to be in contact, but I also don't want him thinking I'm a shitty person either. I think of him fondly, but as a memory and with a few bad associations (he tried to hook up with a close friend after we broke up, and I found 2 dating profiles he had used while we were still dating).
Still, I want to clear this up. It's weighing on my mind. And I don't want him on my mind.
Any advice is really appreciated. | Serious ex after a few months sent a vague but rude text accusing me of something, after not talking for several months, but refuses to tell me why or answer my texts back. |
t3_52g8dy | relationships | My girlfriend [28 F] and I [34 M] who is in a long distance relationship for a year is having intimacy issues but we get along on other things. Not sure how to progress. | *She is a divorced single mom with a toddler who's ex husband recently got remarried.
I live in Southern California and a year ago I made a trip to Indianapolis and stayed for 5 days for the Indy 500. While on Tinder, I swiped and ended connecting with someone. My 1st impression was that this would be short term since we live very far but we ended up talking every day when I got back to SoCal. July came and our connection grew better as we talk more everyday. I was able to convince her to fly out in August 2015 for her bday and celebrate it here in SoCal as I've been willing to tour her around. A few days before her flight here, her mom tragically passed away from an accident. To the point that I didn't even know if she was still going to come here. But she did.
It was very weird when it started cause here's a girl who flew 1900 miles away to sleep beside me in bed. My issue is, from the very start, i've sort of had a slight attraction issue. But that didn't stop me from pursuing her cause I know relationships are more than that and we connect in so much more things than that. We enjoy travelling and have a very non-toxic relationship IMO. We know how to fix other issues but our elephant in the room has always be intimacy. We tried rebooting and doing other things but it never really worked. I committed dating a single mother but I didn't realize the effect it has to see your lover in "mom mode".
After almost a year with our anniversary coming up. I really don't know how to proceed as this woman has grown to be my best friend. A part of me wants to end it and not be selfish that she deserves someone who can connect with her intimately.
It's just hard to break a chain that isn't necessarily toxic but more so only works if we live in the moment and not think of the future. as I we both plan to be married one day. | Long distance relationship to an awesome girl I met on tinder, lack of intimacy after one year is making me question moving forward. |
t3_j2vqe | AskReddit | Do you have a habit that you never had previously until something happened that caused it to be part of you? | I'll start...
So back when I was in 9th grade, I had a biology teacher who told to the class about how we cannot break down cellulose. He then explained that since we cannot do so, that was the reasoning behind restaurants first serving you a salad; to help make you feel full by the time you finish your entree. He then told us that it would probably be best to save the salad for last, since we cannot break it down, it would help clean out our digestive tract of whatever we just ate. Ever since that day, whenever I eat anything, if there is ever salad involved, I always save it for last. | Biology teacher taught my class that we cannot break down cellulose so now I end every meal with a salad (when available) because I think it helps clean my digestive tract. |
t3_2xlc4l | dogs | Anyone care to give me some insight/experiances with the Finnish Lapphund? | I'm aware it's a rare breed which is why I've come here to ask for peoples experiances. My friend is set on it now, and is open to adopting one, but there aren't any right now. From my research their temperment seems excellent for my friend, and he has a love of long coats. He already has a turkish angora [cat breed] so we decided to look for a medium sized dog that could get along with his cat and would be more loving than his cat. He wanted a larger dog, but lives in a house with a lot of stairs so I told him to hold off on that for a bit since it would be only him there with the dog and if something happened before he got to me, he wouldn't have much help getting the dog down the stairs. [something like a Greater Swiss or a tibetian mastiff]. With him being used to cats, I considered asian breeds like Shiba Inu or Chow but decided that something easier to train would probably be a good dog. Of course labs are something that people think immediately when looking for a first dog. And as for fluffy, we could have looked for a lab mix, but that wouldn't mean it would be easy. Something fluffy and mixed with lab would probably be chow or husky mix...making it immediately into an asshole. Not that I mind, this friend of mine will be living with me soon and I will be training it. I just thought that something with the Finnish Lapphund temperment would be right up his alley and didn't show that it would be hard to train at all. We saw that it would be healthier than a samoyed but had a similar temperament although it barked more. | My dog newbie friend is getting a Finnish Lapphund whenever the waiting list gets to him. What are your experiences and what should we know? [i'm not letting him train it alone] |
t3_2hum01 | relationships | My [23 F] ex boyfriend [23 M] of 3 years dumped me a month ago. I can't sleep. | My boyfriend dumped me ~a month ago out of the blue. I was completely blind sighted. I am feeling better than I was five weeks ago, but almost every night I have nightmares and vivid dreams about him/us. I tried working out before bed, Advil PM, working out in the morning, watching movies, and mental imagery but nothing seems to work. No matter how great my day is, I start thinking about him as soon as I lie down. (I feel like this should be in /r/nosleep.)
I am slightly less heartbroken, but I can't shake the hope that he will come to his senses and give our relationship another chance. My entire life is upended.
I know it's moot to ask how to win him back. So, I need help getting over him, and in the short term I need to sleep! | Ex boyfriend broke up with me and I haven't slept in a month. How can I sleep at night/get over him? |
t3_1j8gtm | relationship_advice | My fiancé (M26) says he'll leave me (F26) if I get a dog | So my soon to be husband told me that he will never want any pets, especially not dogs. Well, I am a dog person. Incredibly much so. We talked about this when we first met, 4 years ago, and I was under the impression that he wanted a dog. I guess I misunderstood, cause now he is completely denying it, and says we can't get married then.
I live for dogs, I always did. He knows this. When I was depressed and lonely, my dogs kept me wanting to live. They bring me such joy, I can't imagine not having any. I always planned this, I can't think of a future without them. It's my hobby, I train them and my confidence is really great now.
Now, he says: "aren't I enough for you? why do you need dogs to be happy? don't you love me?". That really hurts me, because it's not about him at all. I don't have a dog now, my father does, and I spend so much time with her. My fiancè and I are planning on moving together after Christmas, but this really set a shock to me. Despite I won't have to leave any dogs to be with him, I do have to agree to never have dogs, ever. And I can't keep visiting my father's dog, cause we will move to the other side of the country. He says dogs are dirty and unhealthy, and despite he likes them, he will never allow any inside our house (only in a cage outside). This made me feel really dirty to him, since I am usually covered with dog. So, what the hell do I do? I love him more than I love dogs, of course. But how do I let go of my dearest hobby and joy for him? I know it's a shitty reason to break up: my fiancè didn't want dogs, so we broke up. We are really good in every other aspect of our relationship, so maybe I can be a bit unhappy for him? | Fiancè says no dogs ever, I love dogs and they give me the self-worth and happiness I need to be ok in life. |
t3_2tkal6 | relationships | My former employer [33F] may have/did cheat on her husband [30ish M] not sure what to do. | This is a bit of a long one so I apologize in advance for the wall of text.
I work in a community that is pretty small so even though I have had several employers I don't burn bridges and I try to be as friendly as possible. My former boss and I were relatively good friends and there were no hard feelings when I moved on. I met her husband and my wife and I had been to dinner with them before. They are good people.
while I was working for her I noticed her getting close to another guy who is in our line of work. After I left I started hearing rumors that she was fooling around with him. Nothing hard core but certainly not appropriate for a married person if it was true. But the second hand sources just didn't seem right so I let it go.
Cut to a few weeks ago and I run into another former coworker. They confirm that the relationship was real, serious, and then had just ended around this past Christmas. Now I'm torn. I know the husband and he's a good guy. He doesn't deserve this kind of deception.
I feel like someone should tell him, but then I wonder if maybe they have an open relationship. Maybe he has known longer than I have. Do I risk getting involved and burning a lot of people in the process? Or should I just keep my yap shut? | should I tell someone I kind of know and like that his wife probably cheated on him. Doing so could jeopardize my standing in the business that I work in. |
t3_393r91 | relationships | I (17M) recently found out that my best friend (17M) is borderline anti-semitic and it's straining our relationship. | Okay reddit, here I go:
My best friend who I've known for 2 years at this point has recently been telling me how he thinks the world is run by jews, and makes sure that no one hears him when he tells me this. Then he says how he distrusts jews, and when I try to bring up any counterpoints he immediately calls me close-minded or stuck up or (direct quote):
k den
just stay blinded and stuck up
u only look at the world through perspectives u currently understand
but just know that ur knowledge isnt representative of the "world order" that u seem to know so much about.
He's brought it up a couple times now without me doing anything and I'm worried. I don't want him to get worse, and I don't want our friendship (which has always been rock-solid) to fail. I'm finding myself slowly distancing from him and frankly it sucks. At the same time I don't want to be friends with someone who's intolerant of others. | have a potentially anti-semite as my best friend, how do I get him to be more accepting or at least not get worse? |
t3_15xfxk | college | Need advice on transferring! Please help! | Hi, I'm currently a freshman starting second semester at University of the Pacific in Stockton. I'm majoring in mechanical engineering. Pacific isn't very well known for engineering at all, but it's a private school with lots of interaction between faculty and students, which I enjoy.
In UoP's engineering program, you are required to complete a co-op work experience (paid internship) that lasts seven months, during your undergrad. This sets you up for a job right after graduation. They also guarantee you will graduate in four years and they have a five-year blended master's/bachelor's program.
My parents are heavily pressuring me to transfer to a UC or a school with more prestige in engineering by my junior year. UoP is fairly costly and they're worried about my ability to get a job in the future. I don't know if the value of UoP outweighs the price or not. If I go to a UC, I know I won't enjoy the large class sizes and the feeling of being totally on my own. | Expensive private school with relatively unknown engineering program but quality interaction between faculty/students OR cheaper UC with large class sizes and the ability to graduate under a "name brand"? |
t3_4ik8ez | personalfinance | M/26, F/25 Hoping for job and living advice x-post r/relationships | Hi Reddit,
Going to x-post this to personal finance but I'm in need of some advice. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. She is the love of my life and we will likely be getting married soon (she's finishing nursing school in two months).
After we graduated college she moved to my hometown to attend nursing school. I have been employed full time since then. Her dream has always been to live near her hometown and be near her family. Her family is big and very close. I'm really just close to my mom and dad who are retired and travel a lot.
Here's the tough part: I've been offered two jobs. One in my hometown where we currently reside and one in her hometown.
Job A (my hometown):
Sales rep position in niche field
Salary unknown at the moment (around 60/k)
Commission on sales
401k, health insurance etc
More of a career like job
Job B (her hometown)
Managing Director position
~65k salary no benefits
Lots of flexibility, don't need to be in office all the time, free to make my own schedule
Opportunities to have side job
I'm happy to live in either place. Honestly I would prefer her hometown. But Job A is a very prestigious position in my field.
Sorry that the job explanations are a little vague. I work in a very niche market where I am highly skilled. It involves a sport that I have succeeded at and am passionate about. I don't want to divulge anymore details since it's a small world in my field.
Other info:
~120k in Vanguard index funds
11k in Vanguard IRA
10k in BofA Savings
no debt
own 2013 Subaru Outback
I'm happy to provide more info if necessary. There are probably details I have accidentally omitted.
Thanks! | Two job offers, one at GF hometown, one in mine. Both good options. GF wants to move back home. |
t3_4zqonw | relationships | I [30F] ended a friendship with someone [28F] of two years, and I'm not sure how to explain it to our mutual friends | I met R through a writing group, and for two years, we hung out regularly and had a good time. I knew she had depression, and tried to be there for her when she had her lows. Her lows got very low. During a low time, she cut off all contact with me, but not our mutual friends. I admit, it hurt a lot, but what can you do? I can't force her to be friends.
In a last ditch effort to let her know I was still there for her if she needed anything, I sent her a text that basically said I valued her friendship and I missed talking to her, and if she needed anything, I'd be there for her, no matter what it was.
She got really upset with me and claimed I was "emotionally abusing her", that I was "heaping guilt on her" (actual words). I really didn't know what to say. All of this being done via text, because of course. I told her I was sorry it came across that way, I didn't mean it to.
She didn't respond to me, but rather contacted our mutual friends and then found the email to my place of business and emailed my boss. My boss and I had a talk, mostly because my boss was concerned for my security. I feel so lucky I didn't have to answer for the allegations at work-- I kept thinking about how it really could have messed with my job. What if I got fired? Or written up?
I decided to cut off contact and ties. I gradually told our mutual friends, a few of whom believed R, and a few who just didn't want to pick a side, but can't quite understand why I'm not willing to "work things out" because their sure R feels bad about it, and she has depression and a slew of other things. They don't understand why I feel scared and I'm not sure how I can explain it.
Am I being too unwilling to let things go; should I try to work things out? | Two year friendship ends with my friend claiming I emotionally abuse her, so she emails my boss with the intent of 'nothing good', and I cut ties. Friends don't seem to understand why, should I try to patch things up? |
t3_mhxfp | dating_advice | [19/M] Needing Advice Before I Get Friend-Zoned! | Hello,
I recently started a new job (about 1 month ago now), and met this girl that I like. I haven't spoke to her 1-1 yet, only in groups during lunch breaks. We are into the same music, and she's quite attractive and I know she is single. Over the 1 month, I have only seen her on about 7 of my ~12 shifts.
My main question is, should I give it more time to get to know her before knowing if I like her? or should I ask her out for a meal/drink as a "get to know each other" date? Also, I am known to be a very friendly and approachable person, so I don't want to leave it too late and get friend-zoned, but don't want to say anything too early and seem creepy. I also fear that it'd make work a little awkward if I get rejected or we do date and it ends badly.
Also, during work, if we walk past each other, she at least acknowledges my presence, which is quite new to me. Most people tend to just let me walk past with no talking, she will actually ask how my work is going etc. I think this is more her just being nice than actually liking me though.
I can expand on any areas if needed, never asked for dating advice before. I've been single for 3 years without caring, but now I feel I need to find someone to settle down with. | Met a girl with similar interests at a new job, how long should I leave it before asking for any kind of date? |
t3_umtji | AskReddit | I have a warrant for unpaid AZ DUI fine and want to go to court but don't want to be arrested! Any experience with this? | I got a DUI last year (had one drink and wasn't drunk). I was assessed $1600 in fines with a minimum monthly pmt of $100. I tried explaining, at the suggestion of my court appointed attorney, that I was a full time college student on a limited budget and could only commit to $50 per month. In stereotypical government worker fashion, the lady assisting me was very rude and wouldn't listen to me.
Long story short, I was able to pay my pmt for 3 months and had to cut back on work hours due to school. Instead of calling the court and trying to make arrangements, I defaulted on my payment. I have now graduated school with my degree in Economics and would like to get a job to pay my fines, but can't because I have a warrant. I want to go into court to talk to the judge and get on a pmt plan and get the warrant lifted so I can get a job to pay them their money, but am scared of being arrested. Does anyone have any direct experience with this type of situation? | Have a warrant for arrest. Want to pay fines to lift warrant, but need job. Can't get job to pay fines with warrant on record. Will I be arrested if I go to court to meet with judge? |
t3_2pqbta | relationships | I [24 M] have just learned my girlfriend [25 F] has a history of depression. What can I do to help her? | She confided in me the other night that she's been on sertraline since she was about 8 years old, about when her parents divorced. She has cut marks up and down her arms from high school and lacks confidence in herself, particularly in her mental abilities, because she wasn't a good student and her "friends" made fun of her for it. She thinks she's stupid.
We're both in the same major and taking many of the same classes. I have a stronger background in the field and have always been a strong student, so I have helped her a lot throughout this semester. She has struggled and at many times thought she couldn't get through it, but in the end she made it out with very good grades.
She hasn't had a mental breakdown or done anything alarming, but I am afraid it could be under the surface. I am constantly encouraging her and trying to prove to her that she isn't stupid and she has self-worth. Usually it doesn't work. I'm afraid this, on top of the help I give her with classes, will make her largely dependent on me, which is the opposite of what I want: I want her to gain her own confidence and be able to believe in herself and be happy, independent of me. Not that I want to break up with her, I just want her to be a healthy, whole human being.
I've never been depressed and am lucky enough to have a supporting family to encourage me and build me into the person I am today. I don't think I can truly help her if I don't understand her, and the depressed mindset is so foreign to my own that I'm afraid I'm fumbling in the dark. Any and all help / advice would be much appreciated. Thank you! | Dysfunctional family and being told she's dumb all her life has crippled her confidence and led her depression. How can I help make her more confident in herself and happier? |
t3_200rfq | relationships | My [22m] ex-girlfriend [20f] and I have been in contact recently. What do? | So my ex-girlfriend and I have been talking quite frequently the pass 2 days and it isn't like her at all. She isn't the type of girl who would text someone back and forth throughout the day but for some reason she made the exception for me.
So we discussed how we've been doing and decided we should catch up sometime. Not long after that we started talking like we used to. It got to the point that when I told her how I didn't watch "Her", she requested that I should go watch the movie with her as it was the best movie she watched in recent years.
And after I mentioned I went to a specific place that her and I were supposed to go when we were together, she was playfully upset that I didn't go to that spot with her.
I don't know what to feel. Last time I heard she has a boyfriend but I don't know if they're still together.
What do? | Ex-girlfriend is acting like she might wanna rekindle some old flames, don't know what to make of it. What do? |
t3_3l6s44 | pettyrevenge | Fart Sandwich | I was 12 years old when I enacted some professional revenge on my 15 year old brother and his fiend Mike. My brother was(is) incredibly smart, and his friends were all sarcastic know-it-alls that would pick on me at any opportunity. When my brother and I were alone we got along all right, but whenever his friends were around he always sided with them and never stuck up for his chubby little brother. One of his friends, Mike, was the worst of the bunch. Any chance he had to make me feel stupid he would take. I remember when he found me writing a love letter to my forever crush Sara, and he mercilessly made fun of me for my poor spelling and hand writing (never did give that letter to her...thanks a lot Mike)
One day I was on the computer (back when families only had one computer) and Matt and Mike wanted to use it. I was knee deep in some serious RPG chat and didn't want to relinquish my computer time so I refused. Mike promptly turned away from me and farted in my face. He then said, in a snarky tone, "you know, farts are dead anal tissue - so you have my anal tissue on your face!". I have since learned that this isn't true, but at the time I was quite disgusted and mad.
Fast forward an hour or two and Matt and Mike are making these sandwiches for lunch. They are both vegetarian and spent a crazy long time crafting these epic tofu melt situations. I got up from the computer to make lunch myself and they quickly took my spot, bringing their tofu melts into the computer room (clearly breaking the 'no food near the computer rule' but whatever). At this exact moment I felt a big old fart welling up inside me and I saw my opportunity for revenge. I ran over to the computer desk, bent over, and released a massive toot RIGHT ONTO THEIR SANDWICHES! As I ran out of the room I yelled "I HOPE YOU LIKE ANAL TISSUE SANDWICHES!" And then I literally ran out of the house and down the street to my friends house to hide.
By all reports the sandwiches were not eaten and their day life was probably ruined. Fuck yeah. | Older brother and friend were bullying me and farting on me because I wouldn't get off the computer. I farted on their sandwiches. |
t3_2c34ye | relationships | Me [19F] and boyfriend [20M] are having a hard time getting along anymore. | So me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and seven months. The first year of being together was heaven, we got along amazingly and never had a single fight or disagreement. Everyone would tell us that we're the perfect couple. Even the past 7 months were good, but recently we haven't been able to get along and I'm not sure why.
We've been living together for about a year now and nothing has ever really come up besides a few things here or there which we always got through in a very mature way by just talking things out until we came to a mutual understanding. But recently it seems like things come up all the time. For example, we'll argue about who did more work throughout the day, even though in hindsight, we probably did about equal work. Or we'll argue because (and this is really confusing to me) he'll scratch my car on accident and I'll be upset for a little bit about it. Like, he'll get upset at me for being upset at him for scratching my car, and this causes a whole clusterfuck of butthurt.
It seems like we're both in a place where we're unable to accept that the other person has different opinions and it's really hard for both of us to move beyond this and go back to just being in love. Part of me feels like he just doesn't want to be with me anymore and he just isn't really saying anything. Basically I just need some advice from someone who has been through this before. Should I move out into my Dad's house or keep living here? Am I not seeing something that I'm doing or are we just not compatible for each other anymore? | Me and my boyfriend are having a hard time getting along because of our differences of opinions and I want to know if this is stupid and something we can get past or if it just means we should split up. |
t3_2n3rpd | relationships | I (17/M) need some advice | First, I apologize for any formatting/grammatical errors. I'm typing on my phone.
Some background. I'm really shy, but this year I decided to try a little harder. I talked with one girl (16/F) let's call her S, for quite a while, but we had only become close in the first few weeks of school this year. I also noticed a cute girl (16/F), C, in my english class. After S and I really started to get to know each other I developed a crush and decided to ask her to homecoming.
Homecoming was a blast and it went really well for the both of us. A few weeks later I decided to ask S to be my girlfriend. S said she had quite a few personal things she had to sort through before she could commit to a relationship, but she really likes me.
That was a few weeks ago. A few days ago, C, approached me and admitted to having a crush on me. I was too shy to talk to her, but now I have no idea what to do. I really like S for her looks and insanely amazing personality, but C just threw everything out of whack. I need some help. Thanks ahead of time. | I like one girl and she likes me. Another girl also likes me and now I don't know what to do. |
t3_3sio98 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF [23 F] together 6 months, we got into a huge fight - Help me understand. | "Sarah" is a great girl. I met her 7 months ago, studying with a friend. We instantly clicked and started dating shortafter. It's been pretty intense, we see eachother almost everyday, we've been on multiple holidays together, I've met her family, she's met mine.
From the start I knew that she was a rather jealous person, due to infidelity in her past relationships. Now, I'm the kind of guy that is still friends with his Ex. She "expressed" her desire for me to stop any kind of contact with her and I respected that. We also talked about "Dave", a friend of mine, who we see very often and is still friends with that Ex. He talks about her sometimes and it upsets my girlfriend. So during the "talk" (read: fight) we had about cutting contact, she expressed that while it bothered her, she didn't want me to tell my friend to stop.
I was still angry the next day, so I deleted all groupfotos (group of friends, we didn't look like a couple) I had on an old laptop with my Ex in it and got rid of any link between my ex-girlfriend and me. Unfortunatetly I also told my friend to tone it down a little, expressing that it was me that had an issue with his stories, wanting to make it easier for "Sarah".
Yesterday, looking trough some old pictures, she found a picture of my ex I overlooked. We started fighting again and I told her about my conversation with Dave. We get into this huge fight, with her packing her stuff, driving off, coming back, yelling etc.
I understand that I betrayed her trust in telling him anyway, but I did it to help her and that has to count for something? In her fury she said, she didn't trust me anymore and that she hated me / I disgusted her. I just kept apologising.
We calmed down eventually and here we are. Is her response valid? She tends to overreact and say things she doesn't mean, but I don't know if I can take that reaction. Keep in mind I do really love her. | Jealousy, betrayal, Confusion. Trust is gone for her, can I get over things she said? Tune in for this weeks Drama at my place. |
t3_3vp0mu | relationship_advice | I (28/M) think my coworker (28/m) is being unfairly treated by another employee (40-ish/F) | A bit of explanation. In my job I work with a small group of people, about 7 people. We have a coordinator, P, and she has an assistant, T. Recently T seems to have a vendetta against another coworker, J. To be fair, J has had some issues in the past with work, being sloppy and inattentive but he is, in general, a good employee.
T can be. . . Exhausting, for lack of a better word. When she's working with us she has a habit of constantly talking and trying to get my attention. She also has problems with being professional in my opinion, talking about bodily functions like a 8th grader. Recently I had an issue with her where I felt I was being berated by her and swore at her. I was diciplined and have been working to avoid confrontation with T. But recently I've had an issue and I don't know what to do about it.
T has recently been constantly complaining about everything J does. For exemple, thus morning J was supposed to be into work at 8 am but didn't get in until 8:30. He called in and had a legitimate reason and the place didn't break down because he was a half hour late. T, who was in for a little bit this morning made a big deal about him being late. I gave her his reason and she seemed to think it was just about him being lazy.
I feel that T is being unfair to J but I'm afraid to bring it up due to my history with her. I've thought about talking to P about it but I'm not sure how it would go over, I don't want to be insubordinate but I feel it needs to be addressed. What should I do? | My manager's assistant seems to hate my coworker and finds excuses to talk bad about him. I don't know who to tell. |
t3_2ybcog | relationships | Me [20F] dating [21M] for two months, want to give first serious written gift | Me and my SO have been together for 2 months, but have yet to give each other a really serious gift. We're both english majors so we tend to have some really deep conversations. He's also an excellent student, thus my dilemma.
I've written a short poem-like excerpt solely about him, and I want to give it to him, I'm just worried it's childish, surface-level, or just generally not good. It comes from the heart so I suppose that helps but it honestly scares the shit out of me to give him a piece of my writing that is just no good. He's a deep-thinker and I really do like him, and I know he really likes me back.
I plan to write the poem out by hand and to leave it on his bed when we leave for class Monday morning. I'm very shy with my writing, so please play nice. Here it is:
His eyes alone are a galaxy.
I look into those dazzling orbs and see thousands upon thousands of brilliant lights shining.
Swirling and touching until they form the thoughts that fuel that beautiful mind. The beautiful mind that lets slip the words that steal my own galaxy away.
Drawing it away, like his pupils are black holes taking me outside my own realm of existence into his own dimension.
His eyes alone are a galaxy,
And we're about the collide. | Wanna give my SO first serious written gift. Both english majors, worried my writing is shit. Scroll up a bit for the written bit I want to gift. |
t3_4eczgv | relationships | My roommate [M/23] is learning how to play bass and it's driving me [M/22] up a wall. Is there anything I can do? | My roommate decided to pick up the bass guitar in his free time. He's currently unemployed so his free time is all the time. Whenever I go to work, he's playing bass. When I come home, he's playing bass. Maybe I'm an awful music fan but I hate the sound of a bass by itself, especially by someone who doesn't know how to play. It just sounds like noise to me. He's really not good at it (I used to date a girl who played bass and she was superb) and it ends up just sounding like discombobulated jarring sounds.
He plays the same riffs over and over again for hours. He turns the amp up really high and it shakes my wall. We've gotten noise complaints because he'll play it after 10 pm and we live next door to a couple with a small child.
We live in a very small apartment - just one living room and two bedrooms off of it. I can't escape from his bass playing. I've told him a few times that it keeps me up or it distracts me from my work but he says he wants to become a pro bassist now. So he won't stop and tells me to fuck off when I complain about it. I try to wear headphones to mask it but a) sometimes it doesn't mask the sound because it's THAT loud and b) I don't think it's fair to feel like I have to wear earplugs in my own home.
Am I being unreasonable? I don't think a small apartment is the proper place to practice something like bass guitar, with the amp on anyway. It's been affecting the residents around us so I know I'm not the only one it bothers. Is there a compromise here? | unemployed roommate plays bass in our shared apartment constantly, it's causing noise issues and I'm sick of it. Is there anything I can do? |
t3_4h7ntm | relationships | Me [23 M] and my gf [22 F] are going to talk about the future of our relationship after a huge fallout | We have been in an LTR for about 5 years now, living together for about 3. Just a few days ago, we got into a huge fight, things were said, and we "split up". We are supposed to get together tomorrow to talk about things.
The main problem is, she has told me that she does not think she wants to try to reconcile the fight. She told me that she has been very unhappy in our relationship lately, which is me hearing this for the first time so it's not like I knew this was even coming. I asked her to consider fixing things up with me which we are supposed to talk about tomorrow. I also asked her why she doesn't think she wants to fix things and she said she didn't know, it's just the way she feels.
I want to know what the best course of action for me would be tomorrow night to get her to consider fixing things up with me. I already told her that I'm not going to try to convince her that she *should* be with me, so my goal is to show her that she wants to continue this LTR.
I have zero suspicions of infidelity. | LTR girlfriend (also my roommate) and I have a big fallout and are "split up". She doesn't think she wants to fix things, but is willing to hear me out about changing that, how should I do that? |
t3_2rzzxz | relationships | My (24/M) girlfriend (24) leaves house out of nowhere, everyday | So I don't know how to explain this.
I met my girlfriend a year ago through a mutual friend, and we started dating right away. She moved in two weeks ago and I thought my life was completely beautiful. I love her so much it hurts to think what she is up to.
To be completely honest, I haven't noticed this until she moved in, but when I think about it, she actually was doing this way before she moved in, but I missed it because she was in my house a few times a month.
So basically, it goes like this; out of nowhere, for example we are watching movies, she says she will go to market to get something to eat, like popcorn or chips, and she goes for sometimes 30 minutes, more or less. There are days where she does this twice, I wake up to her M.I.A, only for her to come home after I am awake. She tells me that she goes to running, sometimes market, sometimes to walk, but she doesn't look like she is coming from a run. Weird thing is, when she goes to market, she usually comes home without anything, saying like she forgot to buy and such. She also takes her phone with herself, which is unusual because she is someone who often leaves phone in house and can live without it.
I love this girl. She is my world. It hurts so much to think what she might be up to. I really don't know how to confront her. I asked her jokingly why she leaves house so much because she used to be a total introvert, spending whole week at home sometimes (as she told me), she said that she has changed, which I found weird.
Is following her to see what she is up to, a breach of trust? Please help me Reddit. | Moved in with girlfriend recently, realized that she leaves house out of nowhere, everyday, sometimes twice, telling that she goes to market, to run, or to walk. But she comes home without buying anything. What do? |
t3_1qw0m9 | needadvice | My roommate and I hate each other. He has been "cyber bullying" me via instagram, verbally abusing me, and just threatened me with physical violence. Where do I go to fix this? We go to a 4 year university. | I have compiled a list of everything he has done and I am going to take it to the residential office tomorrow. I included a lot of stuff, all of it true, but I don't have any sort of concrete evidence against him besides screen shots of his instagram posts.
What can I do about this? It has been going on for a month and I can't take this anymore. We were both fighting and two days ago I apologized to him in front of a group of our mutual friends. He just looked me up and down and said, "Someone told you to say that. You didn't think of it on your own. That's not a real apology and you're still a douche bag."
Today he asked me why I don't like him. I started to talk about the social media posts and explain how that is inappropriate no matter who it is about.
He got very angry and told me, "Those are my social media accounts and not yours. You don't get to tell me how I vent. **If I want to post pictures about you, or punch you in the fucking face,** that's my choice. Not yours."
I just got up and walked out. | What do I say to the residential office? I want him to move out of this dorm room but I am afraid they will just give him a slap on the wrist because I don't have any concrete evidence besides the social media. |
t3_ekni9 | relationship_advice | Advice about my very very non-outgoing boyfriend? | (We are both males and he's a senior in high school and I'm a junior in high school)
Let me preface this by saying I truly do love my boyfriend. We had dated three months over the summer, and broke up because there was a distance between us and it was hard to see him often, since my mom didn't know I was gay and I had no license. Recently I got my license and I am fully out to my mother and pretty much everyone else. We recently got back together, and he really is an amazing guy. It's like we never stopped dating.
Anyway, here's where the issue comes about. My boyfriend is really shy, quiet, innocent to many things, and slightly insecure. I, on the other hand, love partying, am always the "center of attention", and I'm just a very outgoing person who loves everything to be exciting. It's tough, even going to the mall he wants to leave an hour after we arrive because he hates all the hustle and bustle. He hates going to parties if there are more than six or seven people there, and he just prefers to stay at home and watch a movie. He always seems very sedentary too. Now I know this sounds like I'm complaining a lot, but I do love him and I really love being with him. He was picked on and actually violently beat up a lot of his life by kids in his school. I think that's the reason he's so shy and insecure now. He gets picked on quite often, though not as much anymore. He just I think was never able to mature enough emotionally. On top of that, he lives only with his father, and his father is often gone for days at a time with his girlfriend, so he's home alone more often than not.
Slightly-NSFW Warning: Another thing about him is in the bedroom, he ends up being VERY submissive. To the point where he just lies there almost when we do anything. I end up giving him a handjob or blowjob until he finishes, but it seems he never does anything to me for more than a minute, I end up finishing myself off while finishing him off. | Essentially, I'm with a very shy and insecure boy right now. I do love him, care about him, and absolutely adore being with him, but it's just hard because our personalities are polar opposites. HELP! |
t3_3567us | relationships | I [18M] feel like i put more effort into our relationship, than my [18F] girlfriend, what to do? | We have been together for about 5 months now and it just feels like we aren't a couple, when we aren't together in person.. I really love her i know she loves me, but when we aren't together i just don't "feel the love" if you know what i mean... Its just kinda meh, shes slow as fuck to respond on FB and stuff, but shes pretty active in the group chats we got going on in my circle of friends.
The question i kinda wanna ask is, should i talk to her about it or just let it go as it is? Is it me who are just being a little paranoid that she doens't care for it or is there really a problem here? | it feels like i put more effort into our relationship, should i talk to her about it or just let it go as it is? |
t3_3bk4i8 | relationships | My fiancé [22F] and I [22M] ended our multi-year relationship a month ago. I'm concerned that I might be developing romantic feelings for a friend [22F] too quickly. | My fiancé (now ex-fiancé) and I recently mutually ended our relationship. We had been together for quite a few years. We separated on amicable terms, still very much in love with each other.
This had been building for a while, and we've had a rough couple months beforehand. During all of this, a very good female friend of mine has been particularly kind and thoughtful in helping out by being a source of support. We have hung out a good bit recently, and it's always a lot of fun. We have had a very solid friendship for a couple years now.
I'm concerned because it feels like I am beginning to develop romantic feelings for my friend. The fact that I have these feelings is something I can't deny– I'm thinking about her too frequently and anticipate our get-togethers too much for it to be anything else than fledgling romantic feelings. I have guilt over these feelings developing so quickly after my relationship ended, and I am also worried that perhaps these feelings are really just a response to missing intimacy and affection and hoping to find it elsewhere.
Regardless of the reason, though, these feelings are there. My main conflict is whether or not to tell my friend about these feelings. I don't mean to propose a relationship, but just let them know that I have these feelings going on, and that I need to share them and discuss what that means for our friendship.
Is this a good idea? Is it too much of a burden to put on my friend before I have everything totally settled in my head? | – Ended relationship with fiancé, worried that new feelings for friend are a rebound reaction that could ruin my friendship. |
t3_1vhhsg | relationships | I [24M] like a lot a girl [27F] at work, do I break up with my girlfriend [26F] of 1 year? | So this girl at work is really cool, pretty, funny and full of life. Also I think she is very interested in me. We flirt a little, but nothing is clearly said. We exchange youtube music videos (we have the exact same taste in music, that's cool too) on facebook, yada yada I like her a lot. This situation has been going on for approximately one month now.
However I do have a girlfriend, in fact we have been living together for 10 months. She is in love with me. I don't think I'm in love with her, but I tell her "me too" when she says she loves me. (how sad is that?)
Nevertheless this girl that I'm with is really fun and I like her a lot too. She is my second relationship, first serious relationship. We go clubbing together, we do drugs together. Sex is great but has been a little less great lately. Overall I like my current situation A LOT.
Important information: the beginning of our relationship was really unstable, and she cheated on me while I was away for a week (3 months after we were serious). With a good friend nonetheless! I don't really think about it, but when I think about it (like now), it STILL bothers me, 7 months later. But she is forgiven. And she has changed since then and she loves me.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? How do I do that without destroying her heart? Am I engaging in self-destructing behavior?
Am I too scared of change or is that normal and I should stay with my girlfriend? Fuck, what do I do, I don't want to make her sad.
So many questions. Am I a coward? More importantly, am I a complete asshole towards my girlfriend? | Really nice girl at work is seducing me. Do I break up with my girlfriend, who is in love with me? |
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