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t3_1m5t1w | relationships | Ex[22F] spreading rumors about me[24M], which upsets my GF [21F] of 4 months, how do I protect my relationship? | So I had a tumultuous relationship with my ex [22F], I broke up with her multiple times because of how often we fought, but we kept ending up back together. She had a number of serious health and personal issues that complicated things. This started July last year and we finally cut contact early this summer after it was revealed that I had slept with other girls while we were broken up and she had slept with at least one of my "friends". Neither of us cheated while we were together as far as I know.
Which, it turns out, is when I met my current GF, who is a lovely girl fresh out of a long abusive relationship. We've been dating 3 months now, she and the ex are still at the college we attended, I've since graduated and live a few hours away.
Now my ex is spreading rumors, saying I was abusive, cheated on her many times, etc. These have spread through my friend group, but it's helped me figure out who are my good friends, and I've distanced myself from the rest.
The problem is that my current GF has a few mutual connections with my ex, and the rumors are very upsetting for her. She believes my side, and we are very much on the same team with this.
How do I deal with this? I'd rather not contact my ex (I'm learning!), but I'd like to spare my GF the grief, especially since she lives close to the ex and I'm there on weekends at most. Should I sit down with my GF's friends and deny the rumors to them, personally? What about the rumors of abuse? | Ex's rumors are hurting my current relationship. I'd like to spare everyone any more grief. Rumors of abuse are especially worrying. Thanks! |
t3_2f0roy | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [20 F] - It's over because I wasn't happy, yet I miss her | I broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half last week. It started off great and then I started to become unhappy. We hardly spoke, hardly went out and she had nothing in common with me. But in the beginning it worked.
She was my first "real" girlfriend so of course I still have feelings for her, I've spoken to her about my thoughts and nothing changed so I decided to break it off. Now I'm sat here, wishing she was here. Is this because I made the wrong choice? Or because I just miss the company and hate been alone. I'm afraid of been alone.
I just don't want to settle down, I love her to pieces but I just don't see us spending our lives together. I planned on doing it a long time ago but every time I looked at her I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I thought that maybe if I wait out the bad, the good will come eventually and I may become truly happy.
I always thought about what it'd be like with another girl, and after consoling with a good friend of mine, they said that if I was having those thoughts in the first place then my girlfriend isn't the one.
Does the pain of missing her but at the same time knowing it's the right thing go away? I'm feeling as though it isn't... | Finished girlfriend after a year and a half as I was unhappy, now I miss her but know it was the right thing to do. |
t3_nj1mk | offmychest | I've made a mess of my existence | I feel like my whole life is just one hunormous mess and I have no idea of how to even begin cleaning it up. I know life isn't supposed to be all neat and facile, but it shouldn't be this effing messy. It's gotten so bad that thinking about where to start makes me want to vomit and cry and every time I think I'm making progress, I end up in an even bigger mess. Every day, it feels like I'm on autopilot, even while I'm doing stuff I used to love. I don't think before I do things sometimes, and afterwards, I overthink and end up hating myself more and more. I look in the mirror and wanna punch the girl staring back at me in the face. I nitpick until I don't see any positive side to anything. And I can't even organize my fucking thoughts into words anymore, when writing was the only thing I was still good at. I don't expect a reply because this is a wall of text that no one's gonna wanna read. | nothing for you to worry your happy little life about. Visit /r/aww and upvote some kittens or something. |
t3_50alf1 | relationships | My gf [19 F] of 7 months broke up with me [20 M] four days ago, we broke up due to arguing on nights out but I really don't want to lose her. | Our relationship has been peppered with these arguments when both of us are drunk as of late.
She broke up with me this last Friday due to this and said she can't handle the fights anymore. It came as kind a surprise to me because she said that we could work it out last week.
The thing is, everything that is not a night out is like a dream, we connect so well, enjoy the medias, love each others company and get on with each others friends.
I am positive that I can make this relationship work as it is I who is in the wrong for most of the fights.
We are going back to the same college in 2 weeks and I'm just wondering should I approach her and try or just go on with my life.
I believe that she is the one for me and I can't get over the feeling that this love is being lost over something that can be remedied. | Broke up because of stupid fighting, but are perfect for each other in every other aspect. I want to know what I should do, I truly believe that she is the one for me. |
t3_sh0u8 | AskReddit | I'll be going to college soon, but I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision. Can anyone give me some advice? | I hope this is the right place to post this.
I'm 19 years old and will hopefully be entering college this fall. Earlier this year I dropped out from high school. It wasn't a decision I took lightly. Over the years I have amassed quite a few absences due to mental illness and has a result have been kept back three times. If I continued with high school, I wouldn't graduate until around 2014 when I'm 21 years old.
I think doing these last few years of high school would impact me negatively. I talked with people in my school and they also agreed that getting into college that late would put me at a disadvantage.
So instead of graduating high school late I decided to drop out and go for my GED which I will do in June. I've been studying for a few months now and will continue to do so up to my testing date. I'm very confident that I will do well as I always had good grades when I was able to get myself into school.
My problem is, is that I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to do the type of degree program I want. I've always been interested in math and physics from an early age and have wanted to follow this passion into school, but I'm worried that the fact that I dropped out from high school will prevent me from getting into a physics program. I'm also very poor with no credit at all, and I'm worried that if I do get accepted into a physics program, that I won't be able to get assistance in paying for it. There's no way me or my family can pay for it on our own.
My question is this: Do you think it's a good idea for me to follow my passion and try and study physics, or should I go to a less demanding degree program and study physics at a later date?
Also, I've never really looked at the job situation for undergraduate physics students. What would my prospects be after graduating?
Thanks for any and all answers and advice! :) | 19 year old dropped out of HS for large number of absences in the past, wants to know if I'll be able to get into a undergrad physics program as a poor GED grad. |
t3_2zfken | relationship_advice | Me [22 M] with my almost ex gf thing [25 F] 2 months, she left for the airforce and what the hell she was perfect. | I started seeing a girl from my martial arts gym in February. We started talking and we ended up liking all of the same things, including training (obviously, we were both there). Things were really cool because we both fit into each other's schedules, and we had strong feelings for each other.
There was a problem though: two years ago she had signed up to join the Air Force and would be leaving this Spring. We made the most of our time, having fun, and saying goodbye was incredibly hard and full of tears. She left on Saturday to go to her basic training, which will last about a month or so I'm assuming.
I'm not religious, but she is (Christian), and I guess I was her first real boyfriend type of thing. She's a beautiful, cute, smart, funny, and kind Korean girl. I didn't know that there was someone out there for me like her, someone so perfect. It is incredibly hard for me at the moment to focus on the good memories and not the difficult reality of her being gone.
We never discussed trying to make things work out even while she's in the Air Force (for the next 6 years), but a few friends of my friends (and training partners) have suggested that we could try and make things work. This thought did cross my mind before she left, but it was never something we talked about, but as the days go by I am missing her more and more, and am thinking this may be a valid option. I'm not sure if my life will be nearly as exciting or happy without her.
I'm sure the thought crossed her mind as well, even though she never brought it up. The next time I talk to her I would like to ask her if she would be open to the idea, but I'm afraid I will be too late, and that even though she will still miss me, she will have bigger things to deal with while she is in the service. I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask.
I just don't know what I'll do knowing that there's someone out there who is so great for me, and not being able to have a relationship with her. | meet girl>relationship (2 months)>girl goes to airforce>sad>want to work it out even though she is gone |
t3_1x0z6h | relationships | Me [23F] left a man [25] when he needed me most...And I'm happier. | Let's call him JJ. He and I were in a long distance relationship. I am English, he is American in New York City. I would often travel to the US as my mom lives there and we would see eachother. When we'd see eachother, I would always be overjoyed to see him from the moment I would lay eyes on him at the airport to when we were snuggling in bed. Even when we weren't physically together, I felt huge attachment to him. We'd play games and owt together and everything just felt right. I truly thought I needed him in my life and it scared me but I loved him truly.
I arrived to America one day and he told me that he'd been in the hospital. He told me he had an MRI done and it shows he had a small brain mass. I was scared, I didn't think this was truly happening. For a while I was supportive, but his anxiety made him more and more ill about the situation and it was destroying me to know he was in such shambles. I remember asking him where my confident boyfriend went...
It took its toll on me, so when I arrived back to England, I decided to get a job in Edinburgh. I always loved Scottish accents and Edinburgh so I figured it'd make me happier, and it did. I joined a gaming society, moved into a flat, got a job and made new friends. Little by little I hid from JJ, finding sanctuary in all my new hobbies and friends till eventually he got sick of trying to contact me and switched his FB relationship status to Single.
Should I feel guilty? I'm a happier person now because of it. I e-mailed him before the holidays and he said he's doing great but said he had no interest in being friends with someone he still loves. I understand. But I hope he understands why I ran. I'm a happier person because of it...
Should I truly feel guilty for what I've done? | Boyfriend finds out he has a brain tumor, becomes tremendously anxious, I can't deal with it anymore, I leave him and am happier for it. |
t3_1e79ds | jobs | Getting into the mental state of relocating for a job? | I'm 28 and really only moved twice in my life aside from my family moving when I was a kid. After graduating highschool I moved for college, and after college I moved across the country to an area where I knew some folks (that was about three years ago).
For the most part I've enjoyed where I've been, but I'm feeling like its time to go. I live in a pretty small town on the Oregon coast (a good ways from any real civilization/opportunity) and I have some opportunities to relocate within my company - I can pretty much go to any major city in about half the states in the west. I've looked at a number of places and even have my eye on an out-of-state position right now (which would have solid potential for advancement).
The thing is, I've never done it like this before, and I'm getting some cold feet. I really want to move forward in life, and I've got very little reason to stay where I am. I'm a single guy with no family and few friends out here, but staying is *convenient* which is really screwing me over. One particular mental obstacle is that I don't seem to have the care-free/"who the hell cares?" attitude about moving that I did when I moved out here (which was a 2,000 mile move for me).
I'd to ask /r/jobs what this is all about, and especially for those who have been in my situation before - did anything help you take this plunge or is it just a matter of doing it? The part about jobs in [this] article is what really got me thinking that it's time to stop thinking about all this and actually get serious about it. | Before you relocated for a job - especially to a place where you had no friends/family - what helped you pull the trigger? |
t3_2mt0ch | relationships | Me [44F] with my _ex husband [49 M]. Need suggestions for proper and classy responses when people want to tell me his new wife filed for divorce today. | my abusive ex got a deferred sentence for disorderly conduct last month. He was in my home and told me he wanted to kill me. Divorced 5 years now, so it was a shock.
He is on probation for a year.
While checking the state web site to make sure his charge and sentenced remain accurate ( making sure he didn't pull any legal shit to get it removed from record), I see that yesterday his record had a notation but no comment. Basically 11/18 was all it said on top of the other info.
Then I see that his wife jointly filed for annulment/separation and there's a domestic abuse harassment notation.
I can only surmise, he abused her, she left and filed charges.
The charges will be a violation of his deferred judgement and he willbe prosecuted (if my interpretation is correct).
This will be big news. Of course I'm happy as a pig in mud for the demise of this stupid, horrible man and his full of crap wife.
But I want to be classy. I want people to view me as handling this with maturity. What is a good way to say, "he deserves every piece of shit that happens to him and I told you so and hell ya!" | Give me one liners that identify my feelings while not sounding like I'm giddy dancing on that marriage's grave. |
t3_1k9hem | self | Unresolved problem with my brother. | I had an argument with my brother last Sunday and said some things I shouldn't have said, thing is I usually say vulgar words when I am extremely angry and the whole day my grandparents as well as my mom were bugging me about car insurance and job and that they can't afford to pay it without me paying it myself, which is why I needed a job. Anyways I was annoyed by what they were saying and I yelled at my grandparents and went to my room. That's when my brother came in and asked me what the problem was which I screamed in his face and slammed the door and locked it afterwards. Couple days later he completely ignores me and doesn't look at me when I talk to him, this bothers me because I care about him and I am sorry for what I did. It's been a week since I last spoke to him and I wish to get on better terms with my brother. Is there anything I should do? | Lashed out at my brother after being annoyed all day by my mom and grandparents about car insurance and job situation. Brother won't talk to me and ignores me completely :'( |
t3_4s6tyu | relationships | My (24 f) boyfriend (24 m) lied about talking with ex, and on top of this he tells her everything about us. What to do? | First of all, I got out of a very toxic relationship 8 months ago. My ex cheated on me and I swore I would never date a liar again. 2 months ago I met my boyfriend and everything was going great. He told me he talked with one of his exes very often, but he hadn't talked to her in a couple of months. I told him about my last boyfriend and that this situation made me very uncomfortable. He assured me that he only had eyes for me. 2 nights ago he left his phone at my place. I was pretty drunk and decided to take a look at his whatsapp messages (really bad on my part, I know, but it's done now) and found out they had been speaking very frequently (they were sexting one week before we met) AND on top of this, he was telling her EVERYTHING we did (sex included). Also, he's very fond of her (they have known each other for years).
In short, he lied to me, knowing that I really hate liars. He's usually very open with me, showing me the password for his phone and everything, so this was a shock to me. Now I feel like I can't trust him at all. It really hurts because everything was going really really well, I was starting to fall for him. Now I have no idea of what to do. It's very unlikely that they will have sex or go out together, since she lives across the ocean, but of course he can cheat in other ways. We went out yesterday and I acted all normal because I didn't know what to say, but I'm going to confront him tomorrow. The problem is, I don't know whether I should break up with him. Should I give him a second chance if he says he's going to cut off all contact with her? How can I ever trust him again? | Boyfriend lied about talking to his ex, who is very close to him (they were sexting one week before we met), I don't know what to do now. |
t3_15homq | relationship_advice | [26/m] I'm often absent minded and it's driving my wife crazy [27/f] | My wife and I met when we were 19, and were married 3 years later. We've hit a rocky patch in our relationship in the last couple of months since we moved to another country (USA).
This issues that she has with me is that I'm boyish in general. I don't take charge in public to get us were we need to go, I'm poor at navigation and forgetful. I work in a creative industry and it's difficult for me to switch my brain off from work while I am with her. I feel overwhelmed with work and my life problems and I become absent minded. My brain is constantly ticking, but I want to show her that I can take care of her and take charge of situations, and not be a zombie when I'm with her. She doesn't feel like we have fun or interesting conversation any more.
Thank you. | I'm feel overwhelmed with thoughts and it causes me to be absent minded around my wife. She feels like we don't have fun anymore because I'm in my own head so much. |
t3_2r4tzu | relationships | Me [25F] with my BF [34M] 10 months, found a pair of panties (not mine) mixed in with his clothes, how to address? | I've been with my BF for about 10 months, we recently (3 weeks ago) moved in together. Everything is generally awesome (from my perspective), we're very much in love, have great sex nearly every day, love spending time together, etc. etc.
This afternoon I was going through some of his clothes looking for a matching sock when I found a pair of panties that are DEFINITELY not mine (wrong size, never seen them before).
I'm completely taken aback. I really honestly don't think he's cheating, I'm pretty sure they're his ex's because we moved into a new apartment together 3 weeks ago and it's what looks like a bag of old clothes that haven't seen the light of day in a while. At the same time I have major insecurity and trust issues, plus, even if they are his ex's... still not something I wanted to run into.
Possibilities wrt the origin of the panties:
1. He likes wearing them. (Possible, but we practice BDSM and are very sexually open with each other)
2. They are his ex's and he never got rid of them. (Most likely)
a. for benign reasons (bag of old clothes, possible hasn't gone through them in months/since they split)
b. for not so benign reasons ("memento" of her/their relationship, they didn't really break things off until much more recently)
3. He is cheating and they are the other woman's (Possible but very unlikely, we spend 95% of our free time together)
I'm at a loss of how to approach this because I'm not sure if it's something I should even be concerned about and I know for a fact whatever the truth is (unless he's cheating which I doubt) I am probably overreacting. How do I approach him about this in a non-crazy OAG way? Or should I just bury them in the clothes bag and pretend I never saw it? | Found an unknown pair of panties mixed in with my bf's clothing, should I talk to him about it or just pretend I never saw it? |
t3_ps9i3 | AskReddit | How many people would be interested in a subreddit full of tabled IAMAs? | * | I want to make a subreddit dedicated to tables of IAMAs. Would anyone be interested or would it be a waste of time? |
t3_2ywvt5 | tifu | TIFU by bringing my police officer brother with me to look at my new apartment. | I'm moving into a new apartment in a couple of weeks and yesterday was the first day my apartment was ready to be shown. I told the leasing agent that I would come by after work to look at it. I told my brother about it and he asked if he could come too.
He's a police officer and was on duty at the time. I told him he could come, not realizing how it would look walking into an apartment complex's clubhouse with a uniformed police officer.
My brother and I met at the office and walked in. Unfortunately the leasing agent I'd been dealing with wasn't at her desk and the only other guy in the office was someone I hadn't met at all. He was immediately uncomfortable, thinking there was something seriously wrong. I told him that my brother was just there to see the apartment with me. After that the guy relaxed and looked for my paperwork.
After we looked at the apartment, we walked out with the leasing agent. After she left, I stood by my brother's police car and asked his opinion of the apartment. We got interrupted by a guy walking across the street toward us with his hands up saying "My hands are up. I'm here."
My brother looked at him and asked what he was talking about. The guy immediately back pedaled and asked what was going on (assuming the police had been called). My brother said he wasn't there for a police matter and the guy started walking away.
When my brother and I left, the guy was immediately on his phone and looking to make sure my brother was really leaving. | Brought my on-duty police officer brother with me to look at my new apartment. Made a bad first impression with people in the office and a neighbor who may or may not be involved in criminal activity. |
t3_1tsil4 | relationships | Me [18F] with one of my best friends [17 M] duration, I really like him most of the time but sometimes my trust issues get in the way | One of my best friends, we will call him Peter. We've been close friends for 2 years. About two months ago Peter told me he liked me and I had been on and off in my mind about liking him for about 6 months. I never told him because I couldn't lead him on to only come to the conclusion that we couldn't be together because I have major trust issues.
Before he told me, I had felt confident in my feelings for awhile. When he told me, I didn't explicitly say I liked him but it was implied and I thought something might happen and so did he. Then suddenly my trust issues kicked in and I just couldn't be close to anyone for awhile. About 2 weeks ago, I went on vacation and thought about him a lot while I was there and decided I should probably explain myself and why I liked him but had terrible trust issues.
When I got back he invited me to go get food after school, which was a normal thing for us. He forgot about it and I called him a bunch of times but he was no where to be found, he eventually called me and apologized.
I didn't get to see him before we went on winter break then I had family stuff to do until post christmas. So tonight for the first time since before I went away, I'm hanging out with my friends and I hear that he's now hooking up with this girl and I am truly happy for him because he's very lonely and I'm sure that's helping a bit, but I haven't seen him still so I don't know where there relationships going and if it is a relationship. I don't know if I should talk to him now or not, I want to but it's not all about me, I want him to be happy. And if we do talk how can I get over my trust issues which have been holding me back for so long. | Me and best friend liked each other but my trust issues got in the way and now I don't know if it's my place anymore and if it is how can I move past the trust issues |
t3_4lj9bn | relationships | My wife [43F] confessed to me [49M] that only halfways into our marriage she got attracted to me | We are married for 20 years, got 4 kids. I was always attracted to her and I thought she was too, since she would initiate almost as often as I and our sexual life was never dry for too long. Then, few days ago, she told me that when we met she wasn't physically attracted to me (she appreciated other things she said); for her, physical attraction came almost a decade later. She says that despite that, she never cheated (never thought of it either) and that she currently is more attracted to me than ever. I still feel terrible and lied to though. What to do of that? | My wife told me that initially, and for a long time after, she wasn't attracted to me. I feel cheated though. |
t3_1rhpvz | relationships | Is she over her ex? | Me [32 M] with my GF [32 F]
I am with my GF for 7 months. There is a "small" problem that she is always in contact with her ex. Her ex is very obsessive and his acting was really close to stalking. Anyway she has decide that we would not meet in her place for a while, only in public or mine, just to avoid our possible meeting.
Today I have realized that she also texts him. She says that it doesn't mean anything and she knows that it is "inappropriate". She also says that she doesn't want to be in contact with him and she wants to be with me. She explains me that the contact was just because of "nostalgia". (They were together for 8 yrs.). And she also says that she will TRY to stop it. They broke up because he cheated on her and just couple of days ago, she asked him to be honest and explain why he did it.
I think that she is still not over him; even she says that she is and she doesn't want to go back and want to be with me. But it just doesn't seem like that...
After, she said that she is sorry and she doesnt want to do it anymore, becuse she doesnt want to hurt me anymore and ruin what we have. She said that it was stupid and it has anything with her relationship to him and she is over him.
What do you think? | Dont really understand her. She is actually first woman I can be open to. And dont feel "alone" in relationship. . |
t3_1kitff | relationships | Me[23M] with my girlfriend [22F] for a year, found texts from an ex. (I know it's typical) | He is leaving for another city soon and they went out for drinks at lunch to say goodbye. I find texts on her phone from him saying, Lunch was fantastic! blah blah blah... Had a great time... "If you end up in (the city he's moving to) would you want to date me?" I was floored. I've met him before twice, so he can't be playing dumb. My girlfriend's response was the worst part. "Totes :P" I know it's a long shot that my girlfriend will end up in that city, but to me it's really fucked up that she would agree to date him in the first place! Is she saying that with the stipulation that we have broken up at this point? Has she already lied to him and told him we've broken up? I just have no idea what to think at this point. I know my girlfriend has a really tough time turning down attention from males, but this feels so wrong. | Found text agreeing to date her ex again if they end up in the same city... I feel so confused and betrayed. |
t3_3r06ga | relationships | Me [21M] Social relationship problem... | This is more of a social relationship conundrum rather than a romantic relationship thing.
1. I don't really give a fuck about "personal" things whether mine or other people's. (Probably the wrong way to explain that one but hopefully you get the idea...)
2. I can't seem to create lasting and meaningful relationships/friendships. Except one person, who classes me as her "best friend" but when I think out it even though I've known her for 20 years I know barely anything about her and haven't classed her as a friend for a long time. She is the only person I have really cared about at some point in my life.
3. I can't show genuine emotion to anyone, it's all an act to appear normal...
4. I don't "need" people to get through my life...
5. I'm a very intelligent person and successful in the corporate world. I don't have time for other peoples issues or problems... If they affect me I just fix them and move on. I work a crazy amount of hours because I'm good at what I do and use work as an excuse to avoid doing other things.
6. I've never told anyone how I feel about life and no one has picked up on any of this. I have this persona of being a nice guy who works hard, appears interested in other people and cares. But in truth I could just disappear and never see a familiar face ever again and it wouldn't bother me.
7. Romantic relationships don't really happen in my life because of all of the above.
Explain this one Reddit... | I have no emotion and I don't really care about anything. I do a fucking fantastic job of hiding it... discuss. |
t3_16r5fb | relationship_advice | What should I [18/m] do about my [25/f] friend. Two years of being friends. | So two years ago I met this wonderful girl over the internet, and we have been friends ever since. I immediately liked her and she confessed to me that she liked me to, but the only catch is that I live in Scotland, and she lives in Connecticut. We talked for months and became really close, then she went and found a boyfriend and acted like nothing happened between us.
So lately we've got really close again, much closer, and more serious than before. We know each other so much better this time and the love is more real. The only problem is that she is still with her boyfriend, who she is contemplating leaving. I've never pressured her to make a decision, out of respect for her but lately I feel that I need to get an answer, even if it's not what I want to hear. Should I confront her and ask for an answer, so I can move on with my life or not? | Girl I like doesn't know who to pick between me or her boyfriend. Should I demand an answer, or wait it out? |
t3_152bvv | relationships | Not sure if I [22F] am still in love with my BF [27M] | I am 22 and in college. I've been with my boyfriend, who is 27, since March, and he generally makes me happy. We can talk about anything, he is understanding and caring and kind and smart and everything I could've asked for. Lately, though, I feel really odd and different inside. It's been about a month, and every day I doubt whether or not I really love him back. He has a part time job, is trying to get published as a writer, and is constantly on the verge of being broke - it gets really frustrating to me because I expect him to be more grown up I guess. I also don't feel sexual at all anymore. I don't want to have sex with him, and he tries to be very understanding, but I can tell he's getting frustrated (and I don't blame him). My parents would never accept him, and would disown me if they found out, because he isn't Indian. They also said they would kill themselves if I ever dated a non-Indian. I'm really close to them, and live with them, and I feel completely torn and stressed out. It seems like life would be a lot easier if I wasn't in this relationship, but he is my best friend. Also, he's had a horrible past, and I've tried very hard to make his life better, and I think part of me resents that he is so dependent on me (like he'll say things about not being worthy of being loved because everyone leaves him). I don't know what to do from here on. How do I figure out whether or not I really love him? | My BF treats me well but I've started to feel different, and don't know if I really love him or how to tell. |
t3_waba2 | loseit | Am I sabotaging myself by only eating two meals per day? More details are inside. | Hi loseit,
I overhauled my diet and lifestyle about a month and a half ago, and I'm down about 16 pounds. Yay!
However, I'm curious if I'm doing myself any harm with my eating habits. I generally eat two meals per day: one around 12:30 PM and one around 6:00 PM. If I'm really hungry in the morning, I'll have some fruit and/or yogurt, but generally I don't feel hungry until lunchtime. In addition, I have severe IBS, and when I eat in the morning, I'm usually sick for the rest of the day.
For what it's worth, I'm a vegetarian that eats dairy and eggs. I almost always stay under my calorie, fat, and carb limits and exceed my protein and fiber goals. On the rare days that I don't get enough protein from food, I supplement with a protein powder. I also take some additional supplements to make sure I get enough of things like B12, vitamin D, and calcium. I have more than 100 pounds to lose and am a female in my late 20s.
Taking all of this into consideration, am I doing myself any harm or sabotaging my future weight-loss efforts by eating this way? | I eat two large meals per day and stay under or exceed my goals (depending on what is desirable for the goal); am I sabotaging myself by not eating many small meals like you're "supposed" to? |
t3_14mnpj | AskReddit | I'm a senior and I missed my final, what should I do now? | Three weeks ago I did my work schedule around finals, and made sure that I had everything right and took my morning off to allow time for the exam. I was ready for two back to back finals for tomorrow. I emailed the professor today to make sure that I had all the information I needed, since I had to miss the last class of the semester and didn't the run down on the final exam information.
After E-Mailing her it occurred to me to double check the University Registrar for the final exam information. Turns out the final was today...at 8am. I'm freaking out.
She was been very kind thus far. When my friend passed away she let me take the exam another day. I don't know what to do and I'm in a panic because this is my senior year...
She is not available in her office and only via E-Mail, Reddit what should I do?? | I misread the final schedule even though I planned far ahead. I'm a graduating senior and NEED to take this final that I missed. |
t3_2kbyac | relationships | I (M 15) am a wimp when it comes to girls | Whenever I see a girl at school, in public, etc. I can never grow the balls to even just talk to her. Even I catch them looking at me a never grow the courage to cause I always think "They probably weren't even looking, I'm just delusional" or that I'm scared to talk to them cause I'll get shot down or something like that.
It's been like this for a while. I have low confidence and didn't even talk to other people at school till grade 1. I didn't really have girls that were friends till grade 4 and I've had one gf in grade 6 and she asked me out over text and the relationship only lasted for a month.
So now here I am. sophomore in high school and I have gotten better with talking to girls but only if I really know them (Class together in school usually). However it's weird cause usually I don't find these girls attractive so it somehow becomes easier for me. So if I ever see a girl I don't know but find attractive I can't man up and talk to her.
The whole reason for this post is a girl I know(Kinda). We've had one class together in grades 9 and 10 and were friends on Facebook and follow each other on Instagram but I never actually talked to her much. I've seen her looking at me before but still have done nothing to talk to her. This has happened many times where I find a girl cute but don't talk to her but I don't this to be the case this time. I feel like If I got to know her we could maybe have a thing but I'm scared I'll get shot down before I even get the chance to.
So, what do I do? I could use any advise to stop being a bitch or raise my confidence somehow. | I've had low confidence for years when talking to girls I don't really know well, but there's a girl at school I don't wanna let get away. How do I grow a pair and talk to her? |
t3_2cpe3g | relationship_advice | [31/m] My Gf [24] has decided she wants to be closer to God | We both moved to a new state to start a graduate program and met in class and really hit it off. Throughout the past 7-8 months we have been having sex, studying, drinking and enjoying each other.
Last night she tells me she wants to get back to being with God like she was in her home state. She says, who she is now isn't who she wants to be and her sin (sex, drinking, cursing) is keeping her away from God. She says, God is knocking on her heart to be with her and she just can't fight it anymore. Honestly, I view myself as somewhat Christian. I don't take the Bible for literal meaning, but apparently this is how she was before she moved and wants to go back to this.
Obviously, if it is that strong, she has every right to do what she wants, but to me I feel like I have been mislead this whole time and now she is deciding to change the person who I have fallen for and be someone else.
Do I have the right to be upset and possibly end this is she wants to be a different person? | Gf of 8 months decides she wants to go back to being a hardcore christian and I think her views are misguided. I will answer any questions that I left out, just need some advice. Thanks |
t3_3w9kq2 | relationships | Me [25 M] wondering how soon is too soon? | I just exited a relationship of over a year about a week and half ago which was pretty mutual. It's going ok right now. This week has been much better than last but I know I am not completely over it.
This brings me to my next conflict. There is this girl who is my ex from high school. Really good relationship but we split because she had to move out of state after graduation. She actually moved back to our home state a couple years back and we both have been in relationships when one wasn't in one.
We have recently been keeping in contact. She found out that I broke up and checked in on me. Talked to me, and gave me company. I saw she was sick on a post and brought her some food and meds to her work. There is definitely a connection between us still.
She found out that we are both going to a same event this Saturday (Odesza) and she invited me to join her group since I was going solo. After that we are going to grab some food at a place near the event. | Is this something I bring up? Do I explain to her that I am not 100% over my current ex? Personally should I even do this? I read a lot that there should be a time to just find yourself? |
t3_tepy2 | AskReddit | Just accepted humiliation at work to take a decision which I thought was 'right'. Now I'm confused. Redditors, help me decide what's right? And while we are at it what's the most difficult work decision you had to take at personal cost? | A supplier was asking for a 100% increase in rates which was unacceptable. After a long discussion I made a fair offer, leaving a 5% room for negotiation. In response he banged the phone down on me. Pretty humiliating as my offer was absolutely fair and being the customer, it was a bit of a shock. I swallowed my pride in the interest of the company, and called him back, he didn't pick up. Then I called his colleague and closed the deal at the fair price. I thought it was a big achievement and that I did the right thing by thinking clearly and blocking any emotional response to the situation. However, when I discussed this with my senior partners, they told me point blank that I should have told them to get f*ed. Now I'm confused, did I do the right thing? I must add that we have been working with them for the last two years and their service is good. Plus he is one of the owners so there was no question about complaining to superiors etc. | Accepted humiliation from a supplier to take a logically correct decision. Senior partners say I shouldn't have renewed the contract. Confused. What should I do if the situation occurs again? |
t3_46vbku | relationships | Me [28/F] with my boyfriend [40/M] duration 2 years, he's upset to find that I slept with a very casual acquaintance six years ago. | My boyfriend is very upset that I didn't tell him that I had sex with someone when I was in my very early 20s. Seven years ago.
We see that guy out a lot if we actually go to the popular spots in our town, and have gone to his house for parties maybe two or three times since we've been together.
After my boyfriend's reaction to me being very honest about my sexual history with other people I'm still friends with, I didn't feel like a one-time sexual experience with a very distant and situational friend over half a decade ago needed to be brought up.
He feels like I lied to him by not telling him that I had that kind of history with this person. This is someone neither of us even has in our cellphones as a contact and I'm only friends with on facebook. My boyfriend feels disgusted and betrayed and I feel like I tried to do the right thing by not ruining our very mutually fun nights hanging out with this person (and DOZENS of other people we liked at the same time, because house parties), knowing how he would react and probably refuse to spend any time with this person who he actually really liked as an acquaintance.
He is adamant that me not telling him was 'a lie' and destroyed his trust in me to not have slept with other friends we know. How can I convince him that someone I had sex with once six years ago isn't a threat and doesn't ruin the fun we had with all our friends and doesn't mean I'm lying about not having slept with anyone else we know? | How can I convince an otherwise rad guy that he shouldn't feel insecure about me having slept with someone seven years ago and that hanging out with that person won't give him dump-cooties? |
t3_wao7p | relationships | After two years in Africa, my mom is coming back to the states tomorrow. I have mixed feelings. | Ok, a fresh start ;)
I'm 24, female. Two years ago, my mom moved to Ghana to meet and be with a man she met online when he tried to scam her out of money and other things. That was his "job." She was smart enough to know he was scamming her, but fell in love with him anyways, I guess. They're married now. He is 26 years old, the same age as my older brother.
In the last two years she has burned relationships with each of her 5 sisters, father, and son. But most of us have decided that she needs to come home in spite of the problems we have. But no one wants to take care of her. Tomorrow I am going to the airport to pick her up. She was going to stay with me, but she lied to me in a big way about what her plans were here and I feel so betrayed. My aunt agreed to let her stay with her, so that is off my chest, but I am so fixated on what my 24 hours with her is going to be like.
I don't know if I should be happy, or sad, or angry. I feel angry, but I feel so tired of being angry with her that I practically don't feel anything about it anymore. Should I scream, cry, laugh? I kind of want to laugh.
Literally any advice or similar stories would be awesome at this point! | my mom comes back to the states tomorrow after two years in Africa chasing a man she met online, i'm her first 24 hours here. How do I deal? |
t3_41pvch | relationship_advice | [24/F] Starting to date my ex [28/M] again after a year of being broken up, how do I make this feel like a brand new relationship? | Hi people of Reddit, I recently just got back into a relationship with my ex, we were broken up for over a year and we dated for 4 years before we broke up. During that year period we stayed friends, but we were also dating other people. Our break up was amicable and we both agreed we should break up, so no bad blood between us. It seemed that both of us had bad experiences with the new dating scene, and we ended up talking and hanging out a lot more. To the point that we started a FWB relationship.
I realized sometime within a month that I had feelings for him again so I confronted him, and he felt the same way as well. We decided we should try this again.
I've never gotten back with an ex before, and the dilemma i'm facing is how to make a relationship seem like a new one when you're with the same person. As well as we both decided we needed to take this slow this time, because rushing it might lead to the same mistakes we made before. I'm not entirely sure how to take things slow with an ex, any advice would be helpful! | Back with my ex of 4 years, how do I take things slow as well as spark something new into a relationship that we already had once before? |
t3_26qs0c | relationships | I [16/M] was lied to by one of my best friends [16/F] | Not really sure if this goes here, but anyway...
I'm 16 and a sophomore in High School. I have never been very popular. I've never had a serious relationship before, so when I meet this new girl, I thought she would be the one. if anyone knows what is is like, it was love at first sight. We had so much in common, I could talk to her about anything and we both had the same type of humor (really dark which is only have with my best friends). I introduced her to my friends and we all hit it off.
I thought we hit it off, and after about a month I managed the courage to ask her out. now before I go on, I would like to mention she used to suffer from a depression-esque symptom. This will become relevant in little bit. Anyway, I asked her out and she said that she didn't want a relationship right now. She said she was going through some stuff and she didn't want to get serious with anyone.
She didn't technically say no, she wanted to put it off. Ok, I was good with this. It wasen't awkward, and I wasn't sad knowing that we could be together at a later point. We continued to talk, but we slowly started to grow apart. She had counciling for her depression (which is why she 'turned' me down) so I assumed that she had more stuff to sort out.
About two weeks after I asked her out, we barely talked anymore. I found out at the end of the week that she started going out with one of my friends. I was furious and confused. She said that we would have a thing, she didn't want a relationship and she started dating one of my friends!
We have started talking since, and I still really like this girl, but I just don't know what to do. /r/Relationships, please give me some advice. I have never meet anyone like this before and I don't want to lose her. | Asked my friend out, said she didn't wan't a relationship, began dating one of my friends about 2 weeks later |
t3_4lb24x | relationships | I [22 F] have anxiety over almost everything and it's putting a really big strain on my relationship with my boyfriend [23 M] of 10 months. | I am a highly anxious person. I'm constantly worrying and afraid of almost everything. I have a major fear of rejection and I'm constantly seeking approval. I'm planning on seeing a therapist very soon.
Either way. Because of my constant state of panic and worry, I've put a lot of strain on my relationship with my boyfriend. I'll have something minor happen and I'll blow it out of proportion and try to talk to him about it because for some reason I feel like he can fix it and then he gets upset with me. This happens every week now which is really bad. The only time he ever gets upset with me is when I'm upset first. And now it's gotten to where I can say something in a slightly off tone and he'll think I'm upset at him and he'll instantly get upset at me. He keeps saying that he's causing me anxiety but I keep explaining to him it's not him it's me. I don't know how to get through with him. He doesn't understand my anxiety and I just don't know how to explain it :( but now because I know the relationship has gotten to this point im constantly worried about when it'll be the breaking point. I just want to fix things but when I try I just make things worse. I don't know where to go from here. | I'm super anxious and my boyfriend doesn't understand my anxiety and I don't know how to explain it to him and his patience is getting thin. I don't know where to go from here. What do I do? |
t3_3ebjvg | weddingplanning | Me [28 M] has been asked by my [60M] father to be the best man at his wedding, and to also give a speech at the reception. He was pretty absent during my youth and has only become more involved in my life recently. I'm at a complete loss for what to write | So he divorced my mother after having an affair with someone half his age, and from 12 years old until 22 I would only see him every other weekend, and he would put in minimal effort to be present for big events in my life.
Since dating his current fiancee, he has been more involved with my life and honestly he may be trying to make up for those years. Needless to say I was not thrilled when he asked me to be the best man, and even less so when he specifically asked to give a speech at the reception of about 40 people. I have no fear of public speaking, and I can talk about things I am passionate about. But that's just it, I have no inspiration to write a speech about a man who has been such a source of conflict in my life. So I guess I'm here to ask for some advice on what I could say. I am happy that he found love again, he will be a step father of two children and is very involved in their lives (taking them on trips, encouracing after school activities,etc)
So what I ask of you reddit, is some advice to on some filler material since all I can come up with is that I am happy for his new marriage. He already said it doesnt have to be too long, but all I can come up with is a short paragraph. | Have to write a best man speech for my once distant father and falling short. Any advice on how I can pad it to make it longer? |
t3_3wv20x | relationships | Me (22 F) with boyfriend (22M) of one year. Devastated. I just don't understand | So over the past month I have been uncovering lie after lie from my boyfriend about his infidelities while I was away on study abroad six months ago. The first notion I had that something was wrong was that the girl in question who has graduated from our college came back to visit for a weekend and late one night while I was sleeping at my boyfriend's house, his roomate knocked on the door because she was with him and said to my boyfriend "I have a surprise for you". He didn't answer the door and I heard his roommate say it must be because I am in there. After a day of prodding, he admitted that he kissed this girl and that was it and now I know everything. Over a month's time I have been questioning him to no end and have found out that he went back to her house after we had an argument, went down on her, and then after we reconciled from our argument he hooked up with her two more times. This was someone he was friends with before we knew eachother. He lied to my face so many times but claims that he felt terrible about it. He claims he had no investment or feelings with this girl but I can't seem to believe that since they basically had a week-long fling, majority of which happened when I was under the impression things were ok between us. I just don't understand it. How do you treat someone you say you love worse than I could treat an enemy? Can anyone help me come to terms with this. Can anyone think of any questions I can ask him to make myself more aware of how this happens? | My boyfriend had a week-long fling with someone he claims he never felt romantically towards and lied to me about it but says he felt guilt. I need clarification on this |
t3_33ewjj | tifu | TIFU by drinking too much and ended up peeing in my friend's Kitchen | So Like most TIFU's, this didn't happen today. Also this is a throw-away account because I don't want my friends to know that this happened. This happened last weekend. So my friend and i had a bonfire last friday and he decided that I was gonna stay over and drink with him. So he hands me a beer and I start to drink. My friend is a 175 Ibs football player and I'm a 105 Ibs stick. So I obviously can't hold my alcohol like he can. Not to mention that I don't drink very often and not like I did this night. He just keeps handing me drinks after I finish one. I dont drink very fast but I manage to stay two behind him. So this is where I FU. He decides to make us mixed drinks. By this time, I am already pretty tipsy and probably shouldn't drink any more but I do for some reason. He starts us off with pepsi and vodka. That felt fine going down but I had trouble keeping myself up while walking. So then he makes us pepsi and like 2-3 shots of Jack. After this I black out. Apparently when I was out of it I took a leak on my friends floor at 1:30 AM and his aunt who stays with him caught me and cleaned it up later in the night and told the whole family.. So now I can barely face my friend, let alone his family. Any advice would be welcome... | Friend got me drunk and his aunt caught me peeing on my friends kitchen floor and told the family and now I'm super embarrassed. |
t3_2wal4g | offmychest | I'm terrible. | I'm useless and a burden to everyone. I finally spoke to someone about what I suspect is depression, and I'm just continuing to be a burden. Now I'm not only fat, lazy, and unemployed with zero prospects, but now I might have a disorder, which means my dad gets to foot the bill for doctors and therapists and stuff, which he said he's fine with, but I still feel guilty.
I'm trying to get in with the counsellors at school, but they're overworked and overbooked for the next while.
And on top of it all, I am so pathetic that I let anonymous bullies on the only website I actually like spending time on get to me. I find myself writing huge responses to the same old troll comments, before deleting them because I know how it works. They bug you and bug you and try to get you upset, then when you respond, they sit with their buddies and go "oh man he's so *mad*!" and laugh about it for the next few years. I went to high school, it's the same thing. This is just virtual high school with cat pictures sometimes.
And the worst thing is that life just keeps going. You can't stop. There's assignments. Then exams. Then I need to get a job. Then something else. Then something after that. WHY CAN'T I JUST TAKE A FUCKING MINUTE? But that won't help. I just had a week off from school, and that didn't help at all. Even if people get sick of my whining enough to give me time off whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing, I'll never be able to relax because I'll be scared of some different thing. | Useless, shitty, angry at words on a screen. "Butthurt" (fuck off). Basically everything is too damn much, and I don't know what I will be able to do with myself. |
t3_3463w7 | relationships | I'd [23M] like to send my female "friend" [24F] a gift. Bad timing or no? | She's a few hours away from me and it's not easy to travel and see her. We're long-distance if that matters.
We've been "dating" for a few (5 or 6) months. She's got some pretty deep trust issues so I'm not pushing for anything more yet.
Anyway recently she's had some shit to deal with (problems with work, her ex, family) but they're definitely temporary problems. We've been having communication issues because of these problems which means at times, I feel a little neglected by her.
I'd like to send her some flowers. I sent some about 2 months ago and she _loved_ them. Apparently nobody had ever sent her flowers before, so I guess it was kinda special to her. I want to send some again, but I'm not sure if it's a bad time?
To me, it wouldn't matter. If I'm feeling shitty and didn't really want to spend much time with someone, receiving a gift from them wouldn't make things awkward, it'd just show me they cared. I don't think she'd find it weird that I sent them, but I want a 2nd opinion.
Is it a bad idea to send some? | significant other" has problems in her personal life that are affecting communication between us. I'd like to send her some flowers to cheer her up but I'm not sure if it's a bad time. |
t3_j7pfs | AskReddit | Has anyone actually won an EX back and it been worth it? | Dear _____________,
Well I've refrained from saying a lot of things I would regret to you. It's probably naivety to even admit this but I really miss you. I wouldn't dare say I love you because those are social implications I think none of us are ready for but it'd be a lie if I said I wasn't head over heels for you these last few years. Regardless I've grown to understand that something to that extent would require much more time.
I can't think of a closer connection I've ever had with anyone else. I have talked to a few people but I can never relate to them as much as I could you. We had an almost surrealist relationship where it always felt balanced despite my faults. It was a balance that I appreciated as long as I could and due to my own faults we were never really able to enjoy. I can't say anything of you or your ex, if you still carry feelings for them or if you've met someone else. BUT I still have feelings for you and I know what I feel to be true. I've stayed away from all the things that I think that make me feel and act bad/rude; drugs, smoking, arrogance, lack of consideration. I'm constantly looking for a job not to please you, for some sort of meaningless retribution, but for the sake that someday I'd like to have a meaningful relationship with someone, maybe you, like we almost once had. | I'm very sorry. I wish we could start again. I won't run up your bill but please let us have a decent conversation like the good ole days. Please just reply. |
t3_1fg3hs | relationship_advice | [25/m] My fiance (23/f) stopped wanting massages when I asked her to reciprocate | I was giving my fiance a massage, as I usually do after her long shifts, and mentioned that my foot was still sore. She massaged it once a few weeks ago when I first injured it, but has been reluctant to since. I asked if she could massage it tonight. She told me that she doesn't really like feet.
I pointed out how often I give her massages, to which she said that she would get massages from the salon from now on and I was relieved from my duties.
Is there a name for this strategy? How do I get around this? I'm frustrated that she responded to my request by taking something away. Not only do the massages benefit her, I think the physical contact is important for our relationship.
I guess it's worth mentioning my foot isn't grotesque or anything; the arch is just sore. And we've been dating for about 4 years but only engaged for a few weeks. | My fiance doesn't want to rub my sore foot so she won't get massages from me anymore. How can I get her to compromise? |
t3_1mps2c | relationships | My roommate[19M] will not wash his dishes despite us asking him multiple times. | I moved into an apartment with two friends a few weeks ago because of school. One of my roommates I have no issues with, he cleans his dishes, picks up any messes he leaves behind, and generally has a good attitude. On the other hand, roommate #2...
He never washes his dishes, EVER. He doesn't understand that it literally takes 5 seconds to rinse a dish off, wipe it down, and stick it in the dish washer. He has allowed his dishes to pile up the the point where WE CAN'T EVEN USE THE SINK. I can't even get a glass of water because they are piled up so high!
I ask him about everyday to clean up his own fucking messes and everytime I get the same response "In a minute, hold on I'm working on something." He acts like he is too busy to clean up after himself because he's a pre-med student. Well, I'm an engineering student and I can clean my own messes, so why can't he?
I'm looking for solutions to this problem because outright asking him isn't working. Would be passive aggressive and doing something like putting all of his dirty dishes in front of the door to his room be called for? I consider him a friend and I don't want to put any strain on that, but I simply can not live like this.
He comes from a traditional Indian family so he may have never had to pick up after himself. | Roommate is a fucking mess in the kitchen, dishes are piled up and stains from his curry are all over the stove and counter tops. Every time we confront him he says "hold on just a minute." |
t3_52di5e | relationships | Anyone in a relationship w a Narcissistic Sociopath? F(34) M(38) | Quick backstory: Been married for almost 9 years. Together for 11. Our first 3.5 years of marriage he was deployed so we didn't really see, or talk to each other much.
There has always been something a bit off but it wasn't until recently when a childhood friend of his said to him over the phone (friend that he hadn't spoken to in over 8 years over his treatment to said friend) that he was a Narcissistic Sociopath that i began to really look into this. EVERY single characteristic of both diagnosis is 100% him. Every coping characteriatic of victims, i have either displayed on some way or am currently displaying. I did leave him once about 1.5 years ago. i left, attempted to file for divorce and well, 4 months later i moved back in... I know, why!? Anyway, so leaving at this particular moment is not an option. Aside from this he also suffers from severe PTSD and TBI (traumatic brain injury) from combat. Many of his behaviors i ignored thinking they were PTSD related or due to his anxiety or depression. However the level of disrespect lately is just getting unbearable. He's out until 5,6,7 in the morning, he turns off his phone while he's out. Just tonight i found out he has a secret Snapchat in which i saw he is in constant contact with a few girls... We have a child together and i need help! how can i make staying bareable? And again, i cant leave. im scared for my safety, the safety of my son, and my family which is where I would be staying. Hes unstable and i just dont want all that around my young son. So so i ignore what I know? do i ask him, do i try harder? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! | I'm just realizing my husband is a Narcissistic Sociopath and I need help coping. Does it get better, ever? |
t3_3k5wvx | relationships | I [20 M] really like a girl [19?F] and she seemed to like me back, until... | Hello reddit,
I'm a student about to move to another city, and through a common friend, a couple of weeks ago I wrote to a girl that lives there and will go to my same university. We were getting along really really well, and were texting each other almost continuously for a week.
Last week I went to the above-mentioned city to visit the university and I met her in person. She was so much better than I could imagine and even in person we would talk for hours. I stayed there 2 days. Now, I don't think I left a bad impression to her,because she seemed to be really enjoying the time together, enough to plan stuff and trips to do (as friends) for when I would go back there.
When I went back to my hometown, she started "sounding" (when texting) bored and not very interested all of a sudden. This kept going for a bit, until she completely stopped replying to me.
I'm going back there in two weeks. What should I do? Any ideas why she might be acting like this?
Thank you reddit and excuse my bad english :) | really like a girl, she seems to like me back. She stops replying after I go back to my hometown for two weeks. |
t3_dl6mt | relationships | Boyfriend may be hiding contact with ex. Am I being paranoid? | Hello again r/relationships, I posted [this] a little while back. To summarize, my boyfriend gets occasional text messages from his ex that do not set off warnings in and of themselves, but he never told me that the friend he was communicating with was his ex. I found out via facebook what her name was, and was wondering if he didn't trust me not to freak out about it, and that is why he did not tell me. I got the reassurance I wanted from my last post, and figured I'd just get over it and move on.
He got another text from her a couple nights ago. He had given me his phone to play a game on while he played other video games with his roommate. When the text from her popped up, it also brought up his message history with her. The last contact he had with her was a couple of months ago, while he was back at his hometown for a family event. They met up for lunch, and apparently spent the better part of a day together. While he was home (he was away for a week) I stayed in touch with him as well, but he never mentioned going to see her. I even asked him (a couple of times) if he was going to be meeting up with any old friends while he was home, but he said no one was in the area at the time.
I gave him the phone back during a break in his game, and didn't say anything about seeing the messages. I am pretty sure that I am overreacting and being irrational, and I don't want to freak out on him, so I didn't say anything. It is really out of character for him to hide this from me, he's never lied to me about anything before (that I know of, obviously, but I trust him). I don't know what to think about this. I trust him to be faithful to me and feel absolutely silly for being upset by this, but at the same time I am afraid. | Boyfriend visited his ex while he was home for a family event, and appears to have lied to me about it. Lies are very out of character for him. Why would he have hidden this from me? |
t3_eprrw | travel | Words of travel wisdom as a gift | Hey Redditors,
I am putting together a travel gift pack for a xmas present to a close friend. She has always planned on back packing across South America, and is now in a position where she could fulfil this travel dream. However she is currently waiting for an old friend to also become available so that she has a travel companion. The friend she is waiting for though has just secured an excellent placement, so might not be in a position to leave for a good while.
I was hoping to collect travel advice and inspiring words/stories to put in her gift pack. It would be great to hear your experiences and anecdotes about travelling across South America, the pros and cons of travelling with friends or going alone, information about working while over there, and any key resources/websites that would help her plan. | please share your South America travel stories/tips to inspire a friend to pro-actively pursue her goal. (I want to print your comments to include in her xmas present). |
t3_3jcm08 | relationships | I [19F] was going to go on this really cool date I was looking forward to but the guy [19/20] cancels on me for his friend. | So I [19F] was going to go see a really cool gig on Sunday as date with this guy [19M] and I was really really looking forward to it (both bc of the company and the band) but he messaged me tonight to tell me that he has decided to take his friend instead?
This is what he said:
"Hey how you doing?
I feel terrible telling you this but I was with my friend today and he is a massive _________ fan...so I decided that I'm going to go with him on Sunday instead. I'm really sorry. I hope you don't hate me now"
Now I don't hate him... but I am very very annoyed. I had switched my shifts around, bought a dress, and had canceled previous plans. So this is a bit of an inconvenience at the very least.
And I don't know if I've done anything wrong bc it's been a few days since our last date and I only texted him to say that I was free tomorrow and then he just sent that, not even answering if he wanted to meet up tomorrow.
Idk man.
Like I wouldn't particularly "invested" (idk how else to say it) in this guy so if he wanted to break things off I'd take it okay, but if he did want that I'd rather him just say it.
Idk.
What I'm asking is how do I reply to that message in a way which civilly shows that I'm annoyed without but without seeming too bitchy? | Guy cancels a date I was really looking forward to. How do I respond to his text and did I do anything wrong? |
t3_zfzxu | jobs | How to show my job history in the best light? | Hello Reddit. My job history is good and bad. From 2003 to 2007 I was a retail store manager. Between mid 2007 and late 2009, I changed jobs a lot. I had an opiate addiction and it was hard to stay in a place too long, due to being so up and down. Things started to get better as I mentioned above (late 09) and I worked in finance from that date until a month or so ago.
I was wondering if I should mention the other jobs at all, or focus on one or two others. If I do that though, how can I explain the gaps in employment?
I know it seems as if I am focusing on the length of time I have stayed at various jobs. However, I know how important that is, especially in full time roles.
I would really appreciate some help with this matter. If you need further information, please ask. | I started with a job where I stayed nearly four years, worked at four different places after for various lengths of time and stayed at my latest job nearly 3 years. Do I tell about the middle? |
t3_10jyeg | AskReddit | What do I do about this sticky Ick? | Over the last few years, my steering wheel has built up a bunch of Ick on it, mainly where my hands are always hanging. I decided to clean it off a bit, so I grabbed all 4 different bottles of cleaning stuff I had in my closet. I scrubbed it using Mr. Clean mildew cleaner, some general all surface cleaner, Goo Gone, and even Windex. After that I wiped it off with some Lysol wipes that come in one of those tall cans. Because of the Goo Gone and the fact that I had soaked it, the wheel felt like it was pretty clean.
The next day, however, I realized that all I did was smear the stuff all over the wheel, and turned it into the worst, and most annoying sticky Ick I have ever dealt with. It doesn't feel overly sticky at first.. not enough to go wash it off your hands like some dried up sticky fruit punch or anything like that. It feels more like a block of resin that doesn't feel like it's coming off on your hands. But literally everything I have touched after touching my steering wheel has gotten infested.
The most noticeable Ick had spread to the XBox 360 controller, my mouse, and the keyboard. I have tried cleaning everything that's been infested so far with anything that I could find, and I wash my hands maniacally every time I touch the wheel, but it only seems to be getting worse. A week ago I came home, washed my hands then picked up the TV remote to browse the channels, only to find that the Ick had spread there.
This stuff is taking over everything I touch. I've been washing my hands after touching everything, hoping that eventually it will just go away but it just gets stickier and sticker, and grows to everything I touch. I just hope none of my buddies bring it back to their apartment, this stuff is worse than bed bugs. What can I do to get rid of this insanely sticky Ick?
// | What can I do to get rid of this sticky Ick that spreads to everything I touch even after I wash my hands and clean it with a bunch of stuff. |
t3_2porga | tifu | TIFU by using the GTS | So, I'm not particularly a Pokemon fanatic or anything, but I do play the games from time to time. Last year I had bought Y and obsessively played it until I rekt Dawthia (spelling?) and felt pretty accomplished. Then this year I bought AS, which I've really hardly played, but it's been fun when I've had time to actually play it. My friend told me about the GTS and how I can get my party from Y to AS and that got me pretty excited because I just wanted to rek sum n00bs with Mewtwo. (the badge thing didn't occur to me at first but this isn't what this is about) I put Mewtwo in the GTS and asked for some low level thing, can't rightly remember what it was. And it worked without a hitch. (aside from my absolutely horrid internet) Then it was time for me to trade Yveltal through. So I did and asked for a level 1-10 Lotad. Well can you guess what happened? I got what I asked for. A level 2 Lotad. Needless to say I was pretty frustrated, but I got over it pretty quickly. All is well, now. But kids, be careful when using the GTS. | got Y and AS, put Yveltal in the GTS to transfer from Y to AS. didn't work and got someone's level 2 lotad |
t3_1pinsc | relationship_advice | [15M] Did I Screw Up? | So about three weeks ago I texted my long time crush, and confessed my feelings for her. (Which, looking back, was incredibly stupid) I never talk to her and my only means of communication are through the phone and the internet. She texted me a few days later, saying she didn't know what to say at the time and respected me for sending it. What I'm trying to say is that, I think I screwed the pooch, because she hasn't texted me again. So my question is this, I am still very interested in her and I want to know what to text her to make things a little less awkward between us, because I am looking to ask her out. What should I do/say? | Texted a girl my feelings for her and things have been awkward. What do I text her so we start talking again? |
t3_4l70t3 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my fiance [26 F] of 2 years, thoughts about a check-up and our upcoming wedding. | We're getting married next month. Thanks.
For the past 6 months I've been having some weird annoying symptoms. My body is too responsive to stress and my work has been hectic, so that's probably the reason for it all. It could also be all kinds of serious things, either life threatening or crippling, but that's highly unlikely.
I went to a specialist doctor 2 months ago and got prescribed a lot of check-ups. I intended to be finished with it all by the time the wedding comes. Most of the check-up results came back, and are OK. There's one check-up left, and I'll only get to do it a couple of weeks after the wedding. The disease it's meant to rule out seems to be the best fit for my symptoms. Again, it's highly unlikely, but if that's the culprit, I won't be fun to be around for the rest of my life.
If I am indeed sick, I don't want to put my fiance in such difficult circumstances. For many reasons, I think it would be better for her if we're not married formally if that happens. Of course, it's too late to postpone the wedding now, especially for such a silly reason.
I'm thinking of having the full ceremony with all the guests, just tweaking the formal/religious parts of the ceremony so that they "don't count". Then, after we get the results of the check-up, we'll sort out the formalities. However, this solution will also cause all sorts of unnecessary dramas, for a really silly issue, and I'm uncomfortable with it.
What do you guys think? | Having a check-up to rule-out something serious a couple of weeks after my wedding. I prefer to get formally married only after I get the results. Thoughts? |
t3_j2fkw | AskReddit | I am in love with my best friend's wife and she is considering a divorce for unrelated issues, what should I do? | After years of denial, I now know that she is the only woman for me. That in some other universe, I went to that coffee house concert where they met instead of writing that paper and we met first and we ended up together. But in this universe I was best man at their wedding and I there daughter's godfather.
I think if he treated her well, I would never have realized my love (I'm a big denial kind of man) and she would never consider leaving him.
Recently, he and her and their two young kids have been staying at my place because he lost his job a year ago and hasn't been able to find a comparable one. She has been waiting tables to supplement their income of his unemployment while he looks for a job. Between that and his time at the gym, they barely spent any time together. I've also picked up the slack where the kids are concerned. He'll ask me to watch them and I'll say ok because at 3 and 5 they are fun ages and he's my bro.
It turns out he was fucking some woman and that's why all those hours of job searching have gotten 0 interviews and he spends barely anytime with his kids and none with his wonderful wife. She and I are friends too (maybe better friends, is it horrible I've maintained my best friend relationship with a man because his wife is amazing when he is the same 20 year old frat boy I met in college?) and she told me that at this point she wants to cut her losses. That she doesn't think she can overcome the unfaithfulness when financially and family wise he is subpar too. She is in the next room right now and all I want is to tell her that I'll be a better man.
Can I encourage this? Can I ever show my romantic interest in her? | He is having an affair. She is considering a divorce. I love his wife deeply. How/Can I tell her? How should I encourage the divorce? |
t3_1hjvef | AskReddit | What is your minimum amount of time before the rules of this existence are irrelevant? | We are all going to die, be it a cosmic force, terminal disease, old age, or what ever.
At what amount of time would you ignore the rules of Government, Religion, Society and just do what ever you wanted?
Bonus explanation, no obligation to read:
Religion gets you to follow rules/beliefs because it promises something after death.
Government controls by telling you that you are working towards something greater, that will last even after you are gone.
In every story I have ever heard, the knowledge of an upcoming death causes people to either freak out or cause them to say fuck it and act in a way they normally wouldn't because the rules are just irrelevant. In terms of a global death society is expected to break down. In terms of independent death, people are depicted going out and living life to its fullest. | You are going to die in 1 day, 1 week, 1 year, etc. What is your minimum amount of time before you react to that fact and say screw the rules, I will do what ever I want? |
t3_12o1v6 | AskReddit | Reddit, Whats your best drug story? I'll start | Okay, It was me and two friends, it's not insane but I thought it was pretty crazy, but we were smoking a 2g bag of XoXo the legal high stuff. Anyway, it was on Halloween night and my friend rolled a blunt, we sparked it anyway and after taking a couple of tokes it literally hit me instantly, last thing I remember was passing it to my friend and saying that shit hits you like a brick. Apparently i was annoying my friend or something and he walked away, I thought he was leaving so I followed him, it was pitch black so I didn't see him turn around, so I kept on walking, completely blacked out and woke up half an hour later in some random guys back yard and still have no idea how i got there, I was sitting down on some stone platform thing when I woke up, tryed standing up and just fell back down again and passed out, woke up about 10 minutes later and got up and tryed to find a way out, I spent about 20 minutes walking around in a circle and the guys garden wasn't even big, finally I found a fence that was the height of me and climbed it, took me forever trying to climb it and it when I finally got over it I felt like a god, I was still pretty fucked though because I had no idea where I was and to this day I still don't remember, but I eventually found my way back to my friends and they had pretty bad trips aswell, one of my friends kept seeing a shadow getting closer to him and eventually just stood beside him and took out a cigar, lit it and burnt it into his neck, my other friend thought he died and was lying down on a tree trunk with his stomach perched up so he looked like some possessed demon shit, he could only see blue and he couldn't move :L. I said it wasn't that good but in it was pretty freaky on halloween night, pitch black and in a random guys back garden :L | Took legal highs, blacked out and woke up in a random guys back garden with no idea how I got there. |
t3_39jx5m | relationship_advice | I'm [24/f] dating an insanely attractive guy [26/m] and I'm intimidated and no one has made a move... | I'm [24/f] an ugly duckling who has become attractive. I've just started seeing this guy [26/m] and we've been 'hanging out' for like two and a half weeks? He's 6'5" and looks like a ken barbie. I'm seriously intimidated by him.
So, I blew him off for about two months when he first asked me out because I just didn't think he looked like the type who would be faithful or looking for a serious relationship.
He finally tracked me down at an event I was going to based on facebook, and we actually hit it off. I was TOTALLY not expecting it.
So, we walked around together until 1am. Then the next four times we've hung out have been us doing a co-working session. We're both programmers, and I would head over to his and we would work until about 12am or so... then I'd get a hug and I'd go home.
No funny business...
I haven't really given off any "signals" per se, mostly because I'm nervous as hell, and I haven't seen any "signals" from him, other than his inviting me over to work.
So today after our co-working session (2pm-6pm) he's heading off to a meetup and I headed home. Before I headed off, he invited me over tomorrow.
So I'm at the point where I want SOMETHING to happen. I want to figure out if I'm just this co-working buddy or not?
We've both established we're looking for relationships. And now I want to do something intimate, not just co-working in his bedroom. haha.
Does this raise any flags for anyone? Thoughts? | Outrageously intimidated by adonis specimen I'm dating who I actually have a legitimate connection with. We've only "worked" together/hung out. Haven't done anything romantic, but he keeps inviting me over. What gives? |
t3_2p8xbx | relationships | I'm (26M) on the cusp of breaking up with my girlfriend (25F) of a few months, but we're leaving for a trip in a few days. | I'll try to keep this vague. I'm sorry if it's rambling. We're both American students studying in a South American country (me - 26M, her 25F). We're from two different states and only got together after arriving here a few months ago.
Things went downhill pretty fast. I can't even really put my finger on why. We fight about trivial things, and it always seems to explode into these horrible fights that linger for days. It usually seems to come back to shit communication, but even though we acknowledge this, we're never able to properly address any of the root concerns during a fight. It's becoming clear to me that this relationship isn't working. I hate how much energy and time we spend being angry and stressed. We're cold and aloof to one another more often than not. We've only been dating for a few months, but it feels like the honeymoon period died a long time ago and neither of us know how, nor really want to fix it.
A few months back, we booked a month-long trip to a few other countries in the area instead of going home for Christmas. In hindsight, I realize this was a poor decision, but we were both hoping things would get better beforehand. This hasn't been the case - we've been fighting like crazy for the past two days with no signs of letting up. We're leaving for our trip in a few days, so unfortunately there's no time to refund or exchange tickets.
I'm not sure what to do here. I'm upset that I won't be spending my Christmas with my family, and will instead be traveling with my girlfriend with whom I fight a lot. While I have enough money to book a flight home, she doesn't, and I can't just break things off and abandon her here for the holidays.
Has anybody been in a similar situation? Any advice? | I think I need to break up with my girlfriend, but we're leaving for a month on a trip. No time to refund or exchange tickets. |
t3_4vf00p | relationships | Me [16 M] with my date/friend [16 F] 1 month, should I risk making a move again? | So I met this cute girl and we were on our second date when I took her hand. Everything was great, she was having fun and we held hands for the rest of the date. However, the next day she sent me a text telling me that we should 'Maybe stay friends at the moment.' This really confused me and upset me, but now we're talking again as if everything is normal and it's been a couple of weeks since she said that to me.
We met up a couple of days back and everything was great, we were laughing the whole time and got on super well, however I chose not to make any physical contact or hold her hand as to respect that she obviously wanted space and for things to slow down. However, she almost immediately invited me to come to where she's from so she can show me around in a week or so.
Now, this is obviously good and I'm pleased with how things are going, however I want to make it clear that I still want to be more than friends and I want to know whether there's a chance of that ever happening from her point of view without me being in the dreaded friendzone. I'm considering trying to hold her hand again, but I'm worried I'll just scare her off again. What should I do? Should I chill out and just see how things go, or should I make my intentions clear and risk rejection? | Held hands with a girl, she said she wanted to slow things down. Scared of being friendzoned, should I make a move again to show my intentions or should I go with the flow? |
t3_nd9h2 | AskReddit | Police of Reddit: A question about probable cause. | Yesterday I drove down to Lake Forest, CA to attend a party at a hotel. When I arrived in the parking lot of the hotel, I called a friend of mine to figure out which room they were in. While I was on the phone with her, a policeman drove up and stopped behind my vehicle. He exited his car and shined his flashlight through my passenger window. I hung up my phone and got out of my car to speak with him. He asked me where I was coming from and who I was coming to see. I told him where I lived (about an hour away) and he asked why I would come all the way down here for a party. He asked if I had any illegal materials in my car or on my person, I said no. He called his partner down and (with my permission) they searched my car and myself. They also took my cell phone and began scrolling through it, looking for what, I'm not exactly sure. Once they were satisfied they let me go. The whole ordeal took about 30 minutes. My question is, what would probable cause be to search me like that? All they saw was a kid pull into a parking lot and make a phone call. They didn't arrest me, give me a ticket, or anything of that sort. They just stopped me, searched my car and my person, and let me go. My grandmother was infuriated at the situation (for some reason) and wants to know what, if anything, can be done about it. Again this occurred in Lake Forest, CA. I didn't get any names or badge numbers, but the officers were from the Orange County Sheriff's Dept. | I was searched and had my car searched while giving no implicit reason for them to believe I needed to be searched. Is this okay? |
t3_vv6ps | AskReddit | Reddit: What have you tried from a movie that has ended in Complete Failure or Success? | I went and saw "Ted" in theaters with a group of friends. There was a scene with character John Bennett, where he jumped on top of his car and through the sunroof, to the drivers seat perfectly. He was driving a "VW Jetta" which was the exact model of my car just a different color. I wanted to impress the group of friends that I was with so I tried the stunt outside the theater. I opened the sunroof to attempt the stunt ( I am not a professional) and learned that the top of my car had gathered dew while we were in the movies make it extremely slippery. Instead of landing on the roof and sliding to the front seat, I jumped on the roof started my attempt at being the coolest kid in the parking lot and breaking my sunroof snapping a bracket with my leg, to rolling off the front of the car, and hitting the ground quite hard with my head breaking my fall. Instead of applause I here laughter coming from my friends and an audience of people laughing at me, as they were filing to their cars. | Tried a stunt I saw in "Ted" and instead of looking like a Bad ass, I end up breaking my sunroof and embarrassing myself in front of a crowd of people that had just saw the same movie. |
t3_2gui2u | Pets | Incredibly Timid Cat - advice? | Hoping this is the right place for some advice. I have a cat whose previous owner moved out and left it alone in a house for a couple of days before her neighbor rescued it (approx 2 weeks). My in laws then thought a house cat would make a great farm cat and rehomed it from the neighbor (about a week).
The cat is acting scared out of its mind which is understandable given the circumstances but she has been like this in all three houses. Going as far as to hide away in a single place for over a day! We now have her in a normal house with no other pets/small children but she seems only interested in finding a hiding place.
She is fully house trained and is using a litter box (she does not want to go outside) but shows little interest in anything beyond scoping hiding holes. I was able to get her to play a bit last night but not much.
Is this something that she should slowly come out of ? I am worried that she will hide somewhere and not be able to get out again. Any advice on helping bring her out of her shell a bit? | Through a procession of screwups by the cats original owner, neighbor and my in laws i have ended up taking in a cat but the thing is acting completely shell shocked. |
t3_fvu59 | AskReddit | Will my brain just explode in time? | A little backstory: I had a terrible highschool career when it came to girls. I had terrible acne, godawful social skills, and the few chances I had in early grades I messed up due to inexperience, which caused a ripple of "FFFFUUUUU" my whole highschool time. I had zero luck with girls.
Fastforward to now. I'm 20 years old, 2 years out of highschool and I am now going to highschools regularly to teach kids in an afterschool program (I don't want to be to specific). I've done a bit of growing up. Worked out, got a suitable haircut, cleaned up my skin, got style, and most importantly, got status. For what I teach, I am considered a legend by some in this town. Also, for what I teach, a lot of the highschool girls are babes.
Get where I'm going?
I have so much pent up attraction for girls ranging in age from 16-18 ish from getting absolutely nothing in highschool, and now all of a sudden they're practically throwing themselves at me on a daily basis. According to the rules of my job though, I'm not supposed to interact with these kids outside of these classes. Also, I feel like society in general is frowning upon me, a 20 year old second year university student, doing anything with a girl in grade 11 or 12.
If I don't do anything now though, as this is potentially the last time I can (I feel like 21+ is just, not allowed), will I just go mad? This has been at the forefront of my mind for like, a month though, constant thought on "is this okay? is this too wrong?"
Thoughts Reddit? | I'm 20, highschool babes like me for the first time in my life, my part-time job says it's not allowed, should I anyways? |
t3_4rdpco | relationships | Update: I 25m hooked up with a girl 22f at a music festival. I'm not sure if I chould contact her. | Op is [here](
My post wasn't very popular, but I'm bored today so I decided to give an update.
I sent a friend request and she accepted it. She sent a message saying that she was glad I found her. We exchanged a few messages and started talking on the phone. We had a few late night conversations that lasted between 1-3 hours.
We were getting along great and we were planning to go on a date. Then she sent me a text that said we need to talk. I figured something was up, but we decided to talk that night. She had a heavy voice and to the best of my memory this is what she said:
"I'm going to be straight up with you. I broke off a 3 year relationship 2 months before the festival. My ex showed up last night with flowers and a long letter. He wants to get back together. I thought about it for a while because my mom thinks it's a bad idea, but I've decided to give him another chance. I think it's best if we cut off all contact".
I didn't say much. I told her I understand and that I will respect her wishes. | I got in touch with the girl I hooked up with at a festival. It almost turned into something, but she's getting back together with an ex. It's over |
t3_2gb00w | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex-girlfriend. Is it OK to have a pact to marry her, if neither of us don't meet anyone else? | My friend (who is 27 years old) made a pact with his ex-girlfriend that they will marry each other if neither of them finds anyone by 30. They were childhood best friends and lovers but now he studies and works outside his home country (South Korea). He says it's not uncommon in South Korea to do this, because there are many people who share his experience, considering the mandatory 3-year army service (which caused him to break up from his girlfriend). He still works abroad, in Australia, so it wouldn't be possible to return to South Korea to be with her.
I'm in the same situation. I'm 20, but my childhood best friend and girlfriend had to move to another country because she entered a top university. We tried to keep the relationship, but it didn't feel right as we had a lot of fights and misunderstandings.
We still like each other very much. I can tell she still cares about me, and is attracted to me, which I am to her. Next year, I will work in her country (nothing to do with her though).
As I still care about her a lot, and we both get along so well (we can talk to each other for hours everyday. We're always there for one another), we could be a perfect couple again. However, I don't love her any more, because we've been apart for nearly 3 years and feelings fade. I want to love other girls. We talked about marriage and planned to marry each other when we were children and teenagers, but it didn't happen.
( | ) Would it be OK to suggest to her that we should marry each other when we reach 30, if neither of us are in a relationship by then? |
t3_44cqaz | relationships | I [32F] feel guilty being a stay at home mom. | My husband[34M] and I[32F] have been married 5 years now, and we had a baby last year [1M].
Before the baby, I used to work as a software programmer and dealt with crazy deadlines and stress at work.. but I was able to handle it all and perform well at work. My husband works full-time as an administrator in a hospital, and is happy in his line of work. I did make more money than him, but that has never been an issue between us.
But when we had our child [1M], the stress at work started getting to me. I started feeling guilty leaving my child at daycare, working long hours and not being able to pump enough milk. My child used to keep falling sick at daycare, and I desperately started craving for a break from work so that I could stay at home with him.
My husband saw me struggling with all the stress, and suggested that I take a break from work and spend time at home with our child. Yes, it would mean a drastic cut to our household income but he said we would try and make it work. So, that's what we did. A few months ago, I quit my job and stayed at home with my child. I was really happy doing that. My son's health became much better and he stopped falling sick.
But, we live in a very expensive city and finances became very tight- and my husband took on a second part-time job on the weekend. He did it all without ever complaining and I'm blown away by how much he does for us.
I see my husband working so hard for our family that it makes me feel very guilty being a stay-at-home mom enjoying my time with our baby. I feel I should get back to work, but seeing our baby thrive has been so rewarding. I don't have the heart to put him back in daycare where he fell sick so often.
Redditors, have any of you experienced this? Did any of you stay-at-home mom go back to work? How did it all turn out? | Husband has to work extremely hard every since I became a stay-at-home mom. Should I go back to work? |
t3_vvbh6 | relationship_advice | [20/m] What should I do about this girl (20/f)? | Hello, all.
So, I met this girl early in my freshman year at college. We lived on the same floor of our dorm and as a result, saw each other often. About halfway through the year, we started to chill together a lot: going on walks, staying up all night and talking, etc. I really fell crazy in love with this girl. She occupies what seems like every thought that passes my mind, and I've had many sleepless nights thinking about her too. When the school year ended, we went our separate ways for the summer. We live on oposite sides of the country, so we weren't able to see each other until the following fall, but we would text constantly and skype from time to time. This last school year, we both had apartments and so I saw her rather infrequently, but I was (and am) still crazy about her. Ever since I'd met her, she had this boyfriend back home (I know, classic, right?) whom I always thought was kind of a dick. It seemed like they fought more than they were happy, and I remember many times when she would be sad after a phone call from him. It killed me to watch all of this, because I care about her so much and I know that she deserves more. She recently found out that not only is he now seeing someone else, but he was cheating on her for a long time. She was understandably broken up about it for a while, but is now doing better. And now we come to the hard part. I've wanted to tell her how I feel for so long, but I am just terrified that I will ruin our friendship. At the same time, I recognize that I have probably been friendzoned real hard. What do you think I should do? Should I tell her? How would I go about doing so?
Thanks | Been in love with a girl who just recently broke up with her (cheating) ex. Also, I feel like I've been super friendzoned. |
t3_3oy9cd | relationships | I'm [18 F] not sure how to reach out to my friend [21 M] after putting the breaks on our almost-hook up. | So, basically, he and I hooked up once in the beginning of June when he and a good friend of mine were "off" in their on-and-off FWB relationship. He ghosted on me after they got back "on", but before she left for school she ended things with him for good. Last week, he and I got wasted and started to hook up again, but I stopped us, saying I was too drunk and felt too weird about it.
He took me home and at first we were both uncomfortable, but then we relaxed a little and said that we wanted to still be able to hang out with each other without things being weird, because we had been meeting up on a regular basis leading up to this. I talked to my friend and mulled over the situation and I've decided that there was really no reason for me to have stopped us, so I want to reach out to him and hang out again, leaving the gate open for us to potentially hook up, but I'm worried that he's reconsidered after I freaked out like that and he doesn't want to spend time with me, let alone have any benefits added to the dynamic. What do I do. | Not sure how to proceed getting in touch with a friend I almost hooked up with but stopped us, since I've now realized there was no reason for us to be stopped. |
t3_3msza9 | loseit | living alone is hard guys... | Here is a little story about my journey:
A year ago, my dad got diagnosed with diabetes and he got super close to die, so i started to eat a healthier, stop smoking and start exercising again. I was at my worst at 6'1" 285 lbs. (m)
Last june, i moved from my parents place to my own place. When i was living with my parents it was pretty easy to have a good diet, a steady workout schedule and everything. Of course i was helping my old folks in keeping the house clean, cooking etc. but they were still doing a lot of the "hard work".
Before moving, i was able to stop smoking, and drop my weight down to 220
Now that i live with 2 roomies it started to get harder and harder. As 19 y/o dudes they tend to eat frozen pizza, mac n cheese, ramen and eat some fast food pretty much everyday. As much as i tried for the first month to keep my diet as healthy as possible, july and august went crazy bad, i gained pretty much every single pound i lost in the course of my year of hard work (back to 270). I was eating pizza, hot dogs, mackie-d's etc.
Due to the house keeping, my workout schedule got fucked and i was drinking pretty much every night and smoking cigarettes instead of my daily workout.
As soon as college started i stopped eating all that crap, reduced the amount of beer, and im on my 15th day without a cig. It's definitely harder to do it alone but i'm happy that i could regain motivation and go back to a healthier way of life | 3 months ago i gained all my weight back (eating shit, drinking and smoking) a month ago i started a new diet and stopped drinking/smoking. |
t3_3lcrxq | askwomenadvice | I Don't know what to do? | Hello r/askwomenadvice this is my first post on this subreddit and I was wondering if you gals can help. Im 17 and this girl I am talking to is 17. We have been texting back and forth for a month and I asked her out and she agreed to it. However; when making the date i couldn't do the date she asked for because I had a family outing to attend to. After I tried making another date with her but she isn't really responding to my messages. I dont want to be annoying or rude so I sent like 3 messages 1 per day asking if she still wanted to hang out. I have not texted her in a couple of days and I dont know what to do in this situation. I really like her and want to see where this goes I just have no idea what to do. Sorry for your time and thanks in advance! | I like this girl who agreed to go on a date with me but after not being able to to do a particular date I texted her and she hasnt responded back. |
t3_1xuv2u | relationships | Known girl for three weeks, advice on how to handle Valentines Day? | Hi everyone sorry if this gets long, but I'm clueless about this sorta thing and looking for some advice...
So I matched with a girl on Tinder 3 weeks ago (I'm 20, she's 19), got her number that same night and we have been texting every couple days since. After a few days of texting I usually skip a day or two to see if she initiates conversation, but she has only done so once, though she always replies quickly to me and seems interested in talking to me.
I have asked her to hang out twice over the last few weeks but she has said she was too busy with school both times. Last Saturday I went out to a club for my friends bday and told her she should meet me there. She found me at the club and we did a little dancing..well really she was grinding on me while I had a pretty noticeable erection..she didn't seem to mind ;) I also made a move and kissed her several times.
Fast forward, she goes with her friends for a bit and asks me to find her later. Being stupidly drunk I was unable to find her again that night and went home..though she did text me "good night:)"
So after seeing each other at the club we have been texting a couple times every day and I really have no idea if I should ask her to hang out tomorrow or even mention Valentines day. I like this girl and don't want to sound too forward or creepy about mentioning Valentines day..do you have any advice for me? | matched on tinder 3 weeks ago, couldn't hang out until last Saturday where we danced and kissed at a club, don't know how to go about asking her to hang out, or mentioning valentines day |
t3_4em7za | relationships | Me [16 M] and my friend [15 F] had or first kiss 2 moths ago at Disney. Now it's awkward between us, and we barely talk. | Me [16M] and my GF [15F] have been together for just under a year. We are both in our schools music program, and earlier this year we went to Walt Disney World. While watching a show we had our first kiss. It was her idea and we both enjoyed it. When we got back home we acted different, neither of us talked much.
Fast forward 2 weeks and its become difficult being in the same room with each other. We share 3 classes, and sit next to each other in all of them. We both tried to start over but it never worked. Eventually our friends tried to hep s get back together but it never worked. We both want to be good friends again, but nothings working.
What should we do to help our relationship? | Me [16M] and my GF [15F] had or first kiss. We now barely talk to each other. Our friends tried to help but they did the opposite. What do I do? |
t3_1gljs8 | relationships | Me[18M] with my girlfriend [18F] 4 years; I don't know how to break up with her. | My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we've had numerous arguments, a few breaks, and some recurring problems. She has this thing about weed, so I don't do it. Of course, I've messed up and smoked; I've ruined some trust she has invested in me.
But lately (earlier this year to now), I've been getting tired of her bringing it up all the time when she has no reason to. She's brought up the fact that if I'm unhappy with her, we shouldn't continue, but I told her I'd make it work- I was truly happy to be with her and I love her. However, even more recently, I've been feeling disconnected from her. I don't want to talk with her as much.
She got angry with me for smoking hookah this year, and in order to keep her trust, I've been hanging out with my friends way less. This past week, she went to Costa Rica for a Senior trip. I used this time to think about what I want- to see if I still feel unhappy with her- and I don't think things have changed. The thing is, there are absolutely no problems right now. We kind of made amends and things were beginning to run smoothly again. I don't know what I should do. The title says I want to break up with her, but as I'm writing this, I'm having second thoughts | I'm not sure whether or not to break up with my gf. If I do end it, I wouldn't know how... |
t3_4l25to | relationships | [20M] interested in [18F] friend, not sure how to proceed or if I even should | There's a girl I've spent a lot of time with lately and I've developed a big crush on her. We share a large amount of interests, thoughts, opinions, etc. to the point that she's repeatedly said how "in sync" we are. She also told me she broke up with her previous boyfriend because they weren't very compatible.
It seems like she might be into me, but I don't have a lot of self-confidence and can't shake the feeling she's just being friendly. I like being friends with her and don't want to jeopardize that by asking her out. I'm a complete amateur at the whole "dating" thing so any advice would be appreciated. | I have a crush on my friend, I think she might like me but I can't be sure. Don't know what I should do. |
t3_1vhra2 | relationships | My girlfriend [23] of a year and a half doesn't have many hobbies or a social life to speak of, while I [26] have a lot of friends and hobbies. She feels like I'm getting distant, when I'm really just busy with work and other things. What should I do? | Long and short of it is, we've been dating for over a year, she's never had many friends. I've always had a pretty solid core of people I considered friends, and I try my best to maintain those friendships.
Our work schedules make it difficult to see each other a lot (She works mid-days, I work midnights), and we don't live together which is also tough. I play in a band, I work a full time job where I can't send messages all day, and I have other friends I have to maintain relationships with, and have the option to, when she's not there to hang out with. I'd spend a lot more time with her if I could, but our schedules make it neigh on impossible to see each other more than once or twice a week. It's hard, but she's a wonderful girl who I love very, very much. I just worry that because I have other things in my life that are important to me, and she doesn't seem to, she doesn't understand why I'm not constantly texting or feeling lonely, while she definitely seems depressed and lonely.
Any time I try to talk to her about it, she gets offended and upset, so I just try to avoid it. I'm reaching a point where I feel like I can't talk about it anymore, and I'm starting to get frustrated with being her only social outlet, almost to the point I'm wondering if this is worth doing anymore because it's gotten repetitive and irritating.
I love her. She means the world to me. But just because she's sitting at home by herself not doing anything while I am shouldn't make me feel guilty, and it's really stressing me out. | Girlfriend doesn't have friends or hobbies, I have many. I'm her only outlet, she won't talk about the issue, and it's beginning to wear on me. What should I do? |
t3_1uglcx | loseit | Changing my lifestyle has made me feel isolated from my friends. | So I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this concern/query, but I'll try anyway. So as of two months ago, I decided to make some serious lifestyle changes in terms of getting healthy and eating better too. So I started training at the gym, six days a week, cut out bad foods and started eating better. I must highlight that my aim is to lose fat and gain muscle. So what the scale says doesn't really matter, I just want to be healthy.
I've been enjoying every aspect of this transformation except for the way it has impacted my interaction with friends. My circle of friends are pretty laid back, not particularly interested or concerned with health or anything like that. So when I first started, my friends were shocked and I wanna say disappointed (?) Because the first response I got was "why would you pay to go to a gym when you can eat cake at home for free?" This was obviously intended as a joke, but it offended me a bit. Subsequent interactions after this just involve my friends being proud that they're not in pain from the gym like I would be, or, parading all the food they can eat without a care. All done light heartedly but its starting to sting me a little. I feel very out of place around them now.
Another issue- I got one of my friends to work out with me at the gym the other day and she....didn't take any of it seriously, would stop between sets etc which I didn't mind because I understand its really daunting/intimidating/etc. But what irked me was how she played it up so much afterwards in front of other friends including complained about all the pain she's in etc. And then proceeded to say how my wanting to change as a severe obsessive disease (again, jokingly).
Maybe I'm too sensitive but its happened ever since I started and it just makes me feel like I'm not welcome or I can't be around them without being offended. Does anyone know how to deal/approach this issue at all?? Can someone confirm the fact that I am perhaps, overreacting? Anyone have similar scenarios to share? Any feedback or comment is welcome as long as its constructive. | started working out and eating better, friends are kinda bumming me out with their comments about my lifestyle changes, starting to feel isolated. Dunno what to do. |
t3_11qigu | relationships | I (m19) am getting wildly mixed signals from a friend of just over a year (f19). | Alright, I'm doing this in bullet points to make my thoughts somewhat coherent. Except I don't know how to do bullet points so it's just line breaks.
I've known this girl for just over a year.
We started out at the same college, I went to a different one last spring, and now I'm back at the first one where she is. She was really excited for me to come back, but we didn't really keep up with each other much while I was gone.
She's had a boyfriend all this semester up until last week, they broke up because he was an awful communicator and wouldn't text/call back (he went to a different school two hours away).
In the couple of weeks leading up to their break up, she was very flirty with me. Eye/skin contact, we watched movies together in her dorm, tickle fights, etc, but then she would always stop short of anything that was about to lead to a kiss, and she would only leave her hand on mine for a few seconds before she removed it (guilt?).
I thought things would heat up a little bit or I would see her more after the break up, but the opposite has happened. When I get to see her, it's nothing like it was.
Was I just the self esteem boost while her boyfriend treated her badly?
Should I try to make my intentions clear by asking her out on an "official" date that I pay for and try to see if anything is left?
I know I should give her time out d respect to her break up, and that this might be why things haven't been the same lately; what is the protocol for such things?
Should I just cut my losses now and stop worrying about it?
Even if no one answers or knows what to do, I guess it still feels good to just get this all off of my chest and organize my thoughts. Thanks guys. | Girl i've known for over a year flirts with me, breaks up with boyfriend, isn't flirting as much anymore, should I try to salvage with a date offer? |
t3_1cbkep | loseit | Tapping into my motivation sources | I was one of those people who battle daily cravings and I thought that if I had gotten to 5pm that day without chocolate/alternative that it has been a healthy day (with which, I would reward myself with some chocolate).
My exercise habits have always been pretty good, as I have been a regular swimmer and participated in a variety of sports, however I have always known that I would not see results without a change in diet.
Last year I put myself up to a chocolate free month challenge, of which I succeeded, only through the loophole of still being able to consume sweets. This year, a friend challenged me to this month long challenge, closing my sugary alternative loopholes. He put me and a friend up to it and said that the first one to cave in will be subject to a losing punishment. THIS statement alone has given me more motivation and fire than any other half arsed attempt I have made in the past. I have began to realise that just because I see colourful candies everywhere doesn't mean I have to consume them.
14 days in and doing good, I am hoping that making better eating choices will help me see some results in my exercise routine (I am 5'5 and 165F) instead of undoing them with my daily dose of chocolate/icecream.
And I am doing this with accessible chocolate in the house, that I am just ignoring | Food addict who had to eat all the food she saw, has given the sweet stuff up fuelled by a competitive spirit (that lay dormant before). |
t3_3gdzlo | tifu | TIFU by impersonating Kermit at a yard sale. | This actually happened yesterday. I highly suggest you watch [this video (kinda NSFW)] then come back and read this.
So, yesterday I had to work at a yard sale. Problem was, no one really came. It had been at least a hour in when it was time to design poster boards to wave around as signs. I got the brilliant idea to write, "I am this high in debt, they're going to saw off my fingers." My plan was in the works, I began to hold up the sign. Of course, no one could read it due to my very small handwriting, so I showed it to people walking down the street. I also brought the sign in service stations, grocery stores, etc. Keep in mind while doing this I was screaming,"**HELP ME I NEED TO GO TO KOKOMO THE GOVERNMENT SCREWED ME OVER WITH TAXES.**" This resulted in me singlehandedly scaring off everything that walked near our yard sale. Of everything we had, we only made five dollars, which was spent on drinks. | Pretended to be Kermit at a yard sale due to boredom, scared off everyone, and didn't make any money. |
t3_2zmeqf | relationships | My (21F) SO (35M) is reluctant to take the next step in our relationship. Why? (Details within.) | My SO (35M) and I (21F) have been together for 3 1/2 years. We have a four month old son together. The entire pregnancy he went back and forth about whether he was ready to move in together (for various reasons including: my age, the responsibility for me, his past, etc.), which was very stressful for me.
We had finally settled on moving in together (I did not pressure him because I wanted him to be sure) and have been looking for a suitable location.
However, now that we're actually looking at places, he's getting cold feet. He texted me on my way to work saying "I still think I don't want to move in with anybody." Followed by a text saying he didn't want to discuss it right then because he's taking a nap.
Now I'm stuck working a 9 hour shift with this bombshell weighing on my mind. I feel like our relationship is not moving forward at all and I don't know what to say to him when I see him next. And will he even care? | My (21f) SO (35m) of nearly 4 years has changed his mind yet again about moving in together. Is this relationship even going anywhere anymore? We have a 4 month old son together. |
t3_3bij4h | relationship_advice | I'm (24/m) looking to strengthen 10-month relationship with GF (24/f). Interests seem mismatched. | Hiya,
I got together with my gf about 10 months ago. It's been working pretty well so far, and she's almost absurdly sweet and kind towards me. The only sticking point over time is that it seems we don't really have a lot of shared interests, so sometimes time spent together is kind of a wash. We generally don't get into a lot of deep conversations, unless they tend to involve religion/theology (I'm Atheist/Pseuddhist (pseudo-buddhist), she's Christian), though we're both respectful of each other's views.
In short, I'm kind of the stereotypical nerd dood, whereas she's a bit more into mainstream TV/shows. I actually took her to a con a few months ago, and while I'm not super into them, it was clear that she more than a bit overwhelmed by the scene, cosplayers and all. Videogames and that kind of weirdo Internet culture are more-or-less too out there for her. I haven't really gotten a taste for the shows/music she's into. I'm very taken with her, so any advice is super appreciated. Something along the lines of things to do together/talk about. | GF and I come from kinda different paths, have mismatched interests. Looking to strengthen existing relationship, but looking for something concrete that's common-ground to stick. |
t3_19dwfj | dating_advice | 22M college - confused about girl in my class | Every single week, in class, there is a girl that sits beside me. There are many available seats infront and behind me but she always elects to sit beside me. I dont know whether she doing this because she likes me or whether she just happens to like that seat. I've spoken to her a few times but only about course stuff but nothing else. She seems to smile a lot when I talk to her. No sure if she's smiling because she's being nice or if she likes me?
Today, we had a 15mins break in class (its a 3 hour night class) and she offered me to share a snack with her. I politely declined, but I wasn't sure if she was just being nice or was she sending some sort of signal...
I'm oblivious most of the time, does it seem like she's interested in me or is she just being nice in general??? | confused abt a girl that sits beside me in class. Not sure if she likes me or just being nice in general... |
t3_4a9w7b | personalfinance | Went from being hired to asked to quit[employment] | I feel like something is going a little screwy when I began talking with my manager.
Backstory:
I've been working with my company since last June as a part-time temp contract. The contract ended in September, at which point my Manager asked if I would like to join the company permanently but staying part-time. I said yes, however, she has yet to complete the onboarding process.
My husband just got a job down in southern CA. He just switched careers, so we really didn't know where he was going to end up or if we were actually going to have to move. We know now that we are moving.
The Problem:
I let my manager know the situation as soon as I knew so that we could have open communication during the onboarding process. She responded by asking me to submit my 2 weeks notice. She told me the area I'm moving to is going to be accepting applications soon and good luck, in a snarky way.
We are a month out from moving and I feel like a transfer should have been an option. I feel the need to bring this to our Regional Manager's attention, who is the same Regional Manager for the area I want to transfer to. I love working with this company and thought I would be able to transfer in house. I just don't know where to begin. | Went from being hired on to asked to quit without the option of a transfer. How do I bring this up to the Regional Manager? |
t3_2llmt6 | relationships | Me [15M] with my close friend [16F] of 3-4 ish years, self harms and is bullimic and I don't know how to help | I have a close friend who has recently admitted to regularly self harming, and to being bulimic. I've done my best to reason with her and help her to stop - I've offered to take her blades and pills from her to help her to stop(she told me she wants to stop) but she has insisted that we go as slow as possible. I get the feeling that she doesn't really want to stop. It's got to the stage where I really want to help but I can't.
Her parents are some of the least supportive parents I've ever seen. Her mother knows about the self harm for almost a year and has not done anything to try and help. Meanwhile her father is a complete dick, and calls her out for being a freak and makes subtle jokes about her self harm; she totally hates him. Her mother seems to be completely oblivious to this.
I've suggested many things including:
* **Moving in with a friend.** In fact, she has told me that many friends have offered her this, but she is hesitant as it would 'upset her mother'.
* **Go to a GP.** I've offered to go with her but again she doesn't want to - she tells me she isn't fond of doctors and that she'd have to take her mum with her.
* **Simply talking to her mother and explaining things.** 'She wouldn't do anything. She'd probably side with my dad.' I can't make her see things a different way.
Recently I've just decided to stop talking about it, and we now have normal conversations and have a lot of fun, but I still want to do something and help her deal with this. I don't want to end up losing a good friend.
Reddit, what can I do? | Close friend has a problem with self harm and bulimia, has unsupportive parents and I want to help her see someone and stop. |
t3_lu8st | GetMotivated | It was my real-life cake day yesterday. I'm changing things. | Last night was an amazing time. I had an awesome birthday, with all of my great friends... and I realized something. I want to stay with those people for my whole life. I have not been the most motivated person, my friends on the other hand are some of the most driven and dedicated people I know. If I don't change how i'm working, studying, talking, even eating... they will leave me in the dust of their successes. I put on a red rubber band today at my friend's suggestion. It means a new year, it means the motivation to keep grinding. I'm new to /r/GetMotivated. I want to be like you people. All of you, to me, are exactly like my best friends. The kind of people I want to surround myself. People pushing, and working their hardest to be the best they can be. Because of people like you, I am going to push myself. My goal in life is to be able to look back and simply know I tried my hardest to be where I am. Thank you helping me figure this out, I can't wait to see where this goes. | I made a mushy realization that my friends will surpass me if i don't change my work ethic. I'm doing it. |
t3_440tmo | relationships | My GF [26 F] of 6 months said she still doesn't love me. | I told her the 3 big words 4 months into the relationship & she just reacts in a very fuzzy/cuddly/cutey way. She calls me the sweetest thing when I tell her that (which by far has only been thrice)
So the third time while we were cuddling happily - It felt right to say it again at that moment, so I did and she just avoided saying it back by complimenting me and such. So I stopped cuddling and asked her why she doesn't say it back (in a positive manner!) and she just said: "It takes a while for Norwegians to say that compared to your culture, give us a break!"
However, I recall her saying the relationship before mine - she genuinely fell in love for the first time to a married man who has been cheating and hasn't told her. That relationship barely lasted 4 months. She fell for a manipulator.
She often shows most affection to me when I'm not in the mood or if i'm somehow being a 'challenge'. I feel like she's still in love with the 'bad-boy' personality. Specially since she says i'm the first guy she's dated who isn't 1. A cloud of muscle. 2. Impulsive & outgoing. 3. Bad-boy material.
When she doesn't say it back that just makes me think as if she's waiting for someone. Despite her wanting to be with me - I just get that vibe from her that i'm option 2. That i'm just convenient for her atm.
However this may all just be a perception - Maybe if I don't bring up my concerns she'll actually fall for me. This is all odd because we plan cooking nights, clubbing, we learnt salsa together, I'm learning to speak Norwegian with her, we just love each others company.
She did say: "Happy New Year Love <3" though. I'm not sure if that exactly counts. Is she shy/damaged to the point of not expressing it? or does she just not love me? | GF of 6 months doesn't say she loves me back, however, everything else in the relationship feels long term and magical. |
t3_3xmv2y | tifu | Tifu by asking a friend to show her boobs for money | This happened 30 minutes ago. Sry if autocorrect is a dick, im on mobile.
So anyway, let's get on with the story. I'm a boy, whose friend is throwing a birthday party. Unfortunately i couldn't be at te party because i'm on vacation. While pouting about this fact, my friends who are at the party suddenly text me boob related texts and puns, suggesting that 1 of my friends, a female, had shown her boobs for money. At first i was pretty shocked and disappointed in that friend for having such lack of selfrespect. But then i started to be all bummed out because i wasn't at the party and i would be the only one to not have seen her boobs. The negotiations began. I felt like i should be able to see het boobs to, so i wouldn't be left out.me and this girl started talking about this. Now i have to say that i normally am not the person you would expect this from. I'm the type of guy that doesn't talk about this stuff much which leads to his friends Joling about how he is asexual (which i'm not). Well anyway, we were kinda negociating Abd all of the suddenly she just stops talking. And then it happened. I receive a message from all my friends at the party, declaring it was a prank. I felt like a huge moron. I don't want to know what that girl thinks of me now. She blocked me and shit. Appearently she was in that "im not mad, just disappointed" state. Well i think she has the right to be disappointed, since one of her friends just tried to buy her boobs.. Yeah so the good thing is i'll maybe be able to entertain some people with this story. | i tried to buy my friends boobs so i wouldn't be left out. Turns out, IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRUH. Feelsbadman |
t3_2kiumb | tifu | TIFU by telling my mother Satan is my friend | Ok so this was a week ago, but the consequences bit me in the ass today. My mom is very religious, like " the holy ghost sends me messages" religious. She was talking to herself while washing dishes. "Mom, who are you talking to?" She shoots me daggers and says "I'm talking to Jesus" ok mom. Jokingly I ask her "So does he answer back?" Again with the daggers, "Yes he does, we talk all the time." Yeah ok mom. Me and my sister start laughing our asses off. "Mom, are you crazy?" I should not have said that. "No I'm not crazy! Jesus is my saviour, and hopefully he'll come to you and save you too. One day he'll come to you in a dream and tell you that he's the god that talks to me." I love to fuck with my mother's head all the time because it's hilarious. "Yeah ok, the only one who ever talks to me is Satan." I really regret saying that now. For some reason I rolled with it. "WHAT?!" "Yeah, Satan is my best friend. He visits me in my dreams." I laughed maniacally and walked away. I thought that would be enough to notify her that I was joking. Nope. Next thing I know she's calling her mother and asking what to do. The next few days were weird. I started noticing things in my room were being moved around. My skull necklace was missing, and so were some of my Darren Shan books. Instead there was a "teen" bible and a children's book called "Jesus loves me". I have no idea where my books went, I'm guessing she threw them away. Today I came home from class and fell right asleep. I wake up to holy oil (she doesn't believe in holy water. Holy oil is just EVOO) on my forehead and her praying over me. I told her to get off of me, but she just said "shh, I'm healing you" I'm guessing she was referring to the fact that I'm really depressed because of college and my SAD. Apparently mood disorders are signs of demonic influence. Now I bet she's telling everyone at church, and they'll be bribing me to go with cupcakes. | my mom tried to get Satan to stop being my bff by rubbing oil on my head and chanting over my body as I slept. |
t3_2va2jm | tifu | TIFU by needing a tampon | Of course, this happened a couple of years ago.
Context: So I live about a thousand miles away from my family, and I go home to visit them a couple of times a year. My parents are divorced and have separate houses; my mother's house has a HUGE upstairs that is essentially its own apartment without a kitchen, and father lived alone in a 5-bedroom house.
My older sister lived at my mom's at that time, but was slowly moving over to live with my father (Who is pretty old) to help fix up the house before she and her then-fiancee bought it.
SO. I went home to spend the holidays with my family, and I was staying with my mom; my sister went to stay at our dad's while I was home.
While I was home, I got my period. NBD, shit happens. So I'm in the bathroom looking for a tampon. There's one of those plastic drawer-sets in the corner of the bathroom because there's really not much storage space, and I'm like "That's gotta be it."
Top drawer had makeup.
Middle drawer had lotions, etc.
Bottom drawer?
Sex toys. Nothing but sex toys. And right on the top? A big ol' string of anal beads. Now I know WAY more about my sister's sex life than I ever wanted to know.
God. Dammit. | Looking for a cunt-cork, found my sister's butt-beads instead. Everything is ruined forever. |
t3_3fqox3 | relationships | Me [36/F] with my spouse [39 M] of 22 years. He's decided he doesn't want kids now but I do. | My husband and I are high school sweethearts and best friends. We went through a lot of ups and downs, but stuck together through it all. It wasn't easy. Finally, in our late twenties, things started to click for us and it became easier. We got married, bought a house and have cute pets. We've always talked about whether we want kids, but we were both ambivalent as we were happy and focused on our careers. My husband has always said while he's not really keen on having kids he's open to it and would do it for me.
Another thing to note is my work takes me abroad for long stretches (3-6 months) at a time. This has been regularly occurring for the 6 years. During this last stint, I decided I didn't want to be away from him anymore and want to start focusing on our lives together. We've been kind of putting our lives on hold until I got back.
I've been home for a month now and a few days ago, he tells me he's made a decision and is pretty sure he doesn't want kids. He doesn't want the responsibility. It was a kick in the gut. My plan was to finally come home, find another job that keeps me in the city and we could think about starting a family, but now that has been blown apart by his announcement.
There were other issues he brought up, but the kids issue hurts the most. I don't know what to do. I'm 36 turning 37 soon and I don't have a lot of time left. I also don't want to start over with someone else. I love my husband. What should I do? What are my options? Should I stay? Go? Does anyone have any insight they want to share? | I don't have a lot of time left and husband tells me he doesn't want kids. What should I do? |
t3_2xdqfx | tifu | TIFU by asking a girl out for coffee | Today was the first day of a trade show where I promote a companies apprentice program and encourage young folks to get the right job. At this fair there was a really sweet girl so I took the classic ninja approach and wrote her a letter on the back of our apprentice sheet. It just said: "Wanna grab coffee after work? Yes :) No :(" I walked up to her and gave her the letter, she opened it smiled and said I should definetly come and that it would be a blast.
First success and maybe the last one. She told me that she had to work until 7p.m. and I waited three hours for her. She came towards me and we were having a nice chat. After a while she told me that she had to leave and had to go to the hotel. Only then when I asked for her cell number she realized that I was hitting on her.
To me there came an epic reveal. Since it is a business event, there was a "get together" after the whole show and people were talking business. She totally did misinterpreted my intention to ask her out and blushed with her hands hiding her face, all in front of her colleagues. She was extremely embarrased and I guess she was blaming me :(. So basically the letter would have worked in any other occasion but not at a fucking business event were everybody is drinking coffee and shit -.-.
Thanks for reading, I'll cry myself to sleep now, because my coworkers all picked up the story and will laugh at me for being so stupid tommorow. (No matter how much praise I got for the ninja letter aproach) | Tried to ask a girl out. Asked if she would grab a coffee with me at a business event. Wasted 3-4 hours including the drive home, because everybody asks for bloody coffee at trade fairs. |
t3_pjg8h | BreakUps | Do the same rules apply if **YOU** break it off? | Her F30 me M31
I broke up with her last night after our 3rd try at this. So much fighting all the time about everything. I know I love her and I know she loves me but we just dont work in a relationship together. This has to be the right decision, its not supposed to be this way with someone you love and want to be with long term, theres supposed to be more good than bad...
If you break it off do you still do delete FB, block phone, hit gym, no contact?
She tried to call me today and we talked for a minute or two "are you really sure this is what you want?" I love you with all my heart, I could hear the pain in her voice the breaking of her heart. I feel like a dick, that I should have been different in myself and the way I was and we wouldnt fight. I love her, shes amazing...but we just dont work. | do you also delete FB, hit gym yada yada. Or are you just the POS cause you broke up with her? |
t3_11e4m1 | AskReddit | I got fired today. People of reddit, how have you coped with loosing your job? | For 3 years I have been a dedicated employee. Today I was told I am no longer needed. There was no reason given other than hints that my work was not good enough. I've worked hard and did everything that was asked of me to the best of my abilities and truly loved doing what I did. In fact, I don't think I realized just quite how much I loved it until today.
This is really messing with me emotionally, as I was already a bit on edge, stressed about my abilities in my chosen field and my financial situation. My self confidence is at about 0 right now. How do you deal with this? | loved my job, worked hard, got fired and now I feel like a worthless piece of shit... how do you deal with this? |
t3_4jm9on | relationships | 35M boyfriend doesn't seem interested in sex! :( | Before I begin..I just want to note that this is a very sensitive subject right now as I am taking it quite personally. Please be direct but sensitive with comments.
I (26F) have been with my BF (35M) for about a month now. We started having sex about 1.5/2 weeks into dating and have had sex about 3 times.. All of which I think was pretty good for both of us. In the past week and a half or so though he doesn't seem interested in initiating it. I have even tried to get something going by rubbing his chest, kissing his neck, etc and he doesn't bite. I know that these things are common in relationships but I feel like it is way too early on to hit a lull like this. I'm wondering how I should address it or if I should give it more time. There are a few outlying issues that I've also tried to consider so as to not drive myself crazy..
1. He has had several injuries on his knees and they have really been bothering him lately.
2. He wakes up really early for work and as soon as we lay down for bed he passes out- like legit falls asleep so there isn't much time to get something going.
3. Last time we tried neither of us had a condom- usually he does but I think he ran out..not sure if he hasn't bought more and just doesn't wanna start without being able to finish? TMI- we've finished in other ways that don't require a condom- so doesn't seem like a good reason.
I just need some suggestions on how to approach it. I'm racking my brain thinking it's something I've done. However, everything in our relationship is on the right page. He's very affectionate- random kisses, cuddles all the time, terms of endearment. So I feel like he's still very interested but I can't help but think he's not sexually attracted to me anymore.
I'm open to trying things but at the same time I'm very nervous of being rejected especially if I put myself way out there. Please help. The Reddit community has been so helpful in the past! Thanks! | my boyfriend of a month doesn't initiate or seem interested in sex lately. What can I do or how can I approach it? I feel very insecure because of it. Thanks' |
t3_22dtds | relationships | Gf of 8 months left me over Clash of Clans. Why? | My exgirlfriend(21) and I(22) used to be very close but eventually went
through a phase where we fought a lot like most couples do. I feel like we
recovered from this and made a complete turn around and started heading
in the right direction. Maybe a week or so into this turn around, I was
completely blind sided by the most ridiculous break up I've ever heard of.
She got upset that I had gotten leader of the clan we were in (if you don't
know, its a MMO game for cell phones). I kicked two people from the clan
(both were called for) and was planning on having a little more fun
messing with my friend who made the clan. It was all good natured fun on
a game I played with the people around me. Apparently this crossed some
serious lines and caused a huge falling out of a whole friend group
including my gf at the time. I think this is absolutely ridiculous and I could
care less about the friends. If thats all it took to make them that mad,
than I believe they weren't very good friends to begin with.The problem I
have is my gf, who I was doing so well with, just up and left over a game I
believe she didn't even take that serious. Told me that what I did was an
ass hole move and degraded her opinion of me so negatively that she
couldn't be with me anymore. The more I think about it, the more it
boggles me. I would love to hear Reddit's thoughts on this situation. Please
help. | GF(21) based a breakup over me (22) being an ass hole (her words) in Clash of Clans. |
t3_4vcact | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [26 F] 1 year. Work, eat, watch TV, sleep... repeat. How to approach? | We been dating like a year, worked together and we grew really close. We moved in together like two months ago, and both got new (seperate) jobs about a month ago. I feel like, even though we are still physically together at least a couple hours a day (not including sleep) that the quality of our time together is very low.
____________
A typical night is usually her getting off like 5 hours before me, or me getting off work 5 hours before her. The person that got off late comes home, eats dinner, takes a shower, and watches TV tell they fall asleep... absolutely nothing like our lives pre-move in.
_____________
I mean, I get it. We're living together now. I can't expect ethausim, emotion and energy ALL the time. But damn... even on nights were we are both off by 5pm, it's a lot of her playing on her phone while I watch TV and wonder who she's so intensively texting. Then we go to bed and it's the same crap. She's glued to her phone (social media/text) while I watch some lame show and wait to fall asleep.
___________
How do I shake this up? I already have a bad rep with her of being too needy/clingy so... I'm a little tense about directly confronting her with "I need more from you then what I'm getting..." kind of chat. | GF takes time together for granted. I look forward to seeing her all day, which usually results in her glued to her phone while I watch TV... |
t3_f8h94 | AskReddit | I need your advice before it's too late for my family dog.... | Okay - so, our family dog has become increasingly aggressive over the past few years. She's really never been good with other dogs, but always affectionate and kind with people.
Before I moved out of the house about 3 years ago, we started noticing behaviour that was out of character for her... she'd just "snap" and growl at us, then go back to normal as if nothing had happened. Since I've left home, she's been attacking my mom and dad more and more frequently. It's gotten to the point where she needs to be crated whenever anybody comes over, because she'll just lunge at them whether she knows them or not. She has broken skin on numerous occasions.
Over the past year, my parents have taken her to two separate vets to get her checked out for anything unusual. They also hired a dog whisperer to work with her. Neither were successful in diagnosing/improving her behavior.
Today, my mom spoke with the breeder, and she told her that our dog is not behaving normally at all and attributes it to some form of mental illness/disease. She believes our dog could have suffered a stroke and may have been experiencing a series of small strokes over the years. She told my mom that our dog must be put down, for both her and our sake.
It's been a very difficult pill for me to swallow and I feel as though there must be an avenue we haven't exhausted yet.
Has anyone been in this situation before? Is euthanasia really the answer? Please help, I love her dearly and can't bear the thought of an empty house without her. | my parents are probably going to put my dog down this week for intesifying aggressive behaviour.. What other options are there? |
t3_3yaxa3 | relationships | SO[F,23] broke up with me [M,24] after three years. Need help to get into the hookup culture. | After some time being separated and trying a long distance relationship my SO broke up with me saying that she couldn't do it anymore.
I seriously considered proposing to her once I had enough money saved and I was living with her. I'm just sad about how it ended but I'm not enraged or bitter. I understand why she felt the way she did. I don't even consider the time spent together a waste because we had a lot of fun before she moved and even had some fun adventures when we visited each other.
Now I just want to fill the void with booze and some hook ups until I feel ready to seriously date again but I have no clue where to start.
I've heard Tinder has gotten worse and may not be the place to look for hooking up. | Coming out of a long term relationship and the break up wasn't mutual. Looking to get over her by getting under someone else but not sure where to start. |
t3_imiuc | loseit | Loseit, need some advice concerning extra skin. | I've lost about 90 lbs. total since march of last year, and I was hoping for some advice regarding the extra skin around my chest a mid-section. I've talked to a plastic surgeon who said everything loose was skin; no fat at all, that there was no way I was going to be able to fill it out, and an abdominoplasty was going to cost six large. I didn't consider his word gospel seeing as he would lose money if I hit the gym harder instead of going under the knife. Also talked to a personal trainer who said, "no, that probably wont fill out." She didn't sound very convincing. I'm very lost here, my loseit friends. I was hoping someone who had gone through a significant weight change had similar problems and could help with a solution. I'm 26, still workout everyday and eat healthy. Here's a before and after for perspective. Thank you very much in advance! | I don't know whether to get surgery to get rid of my extra skin or stick it out and see if it goes away on it's own. |
t3_36i3rm | relationships | Me (26F) and he (32M) are so fucking lost. | In brief- we met, we fell in love (I more deeply than him), and dated for a year. During this year we had a lot of ons and offs. But the offs never lasted more than a day or two.
About a month ago, he called it off for good. He met someone shortly thereafter. Now we have rekindled things, but he continues to be involved with her. I know the details of their relationship but I don't know what he has told her about me (if anything). I know they haven't had sex because we have continued to do so and I do trust him to be safe/honest in that regard.
I have told him multiple times I am willing to "hang in there" with our relationship. He has said he is comittment-phobic and struggles with intimacy, and that he feels marriage is possibly in our near future, but he needs to "be sure" before that. I truly believe he is the one I want to spend my life with and am trying to be patient/supportive right now...
But it's fucking hard. I don't like this girl, I don't like how he is evasive about her, and I don't like how she continues to be involved with him despite Facebook posts of him and I etc.
One major complication is that we are due to go on vacation in a few weeks (my bf and I) and it cannot be refunded. We are planning to go but I think it will be difficult.
The two things I need advice on are the vacation (do we go or not?) and the girl (I want to contact her - out of line? Even crazy?). Thoughts?? THANKS IN ADVANCE | on a break he met someone we might go on vacation and I want to clarify the nature of our relationship with the girl he met |
t3_1v277e | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 6 months are breaking it off; How do I deal with mutual friends? | My girlfriend and I are close to breaking up, and I'm having a hard time accepting it. We both want to do different things, and my morals disagree with hers, so we both agree it's best not to stay with each other much longer. Although I want to help her make better decisions, ultimately, she is not very receptive to my advice, and I don't think I can be much help.
Because of this, I think it would make the most sense to (as many others recommend) essentially cut off all contact with her, and not see her anymore. Being reminded of her will be hard, but knowing she's making poor personal decisions and not being allowed to interfere will hurt more.
Unfortunately, during our relationship, she has become very close friends with my friends, and when I break the news to them that we're no longer together, I doubt they'll be interested in cutting off ties with her as well. But this of course means that she'll still be an active part of my life, and I don't have much control over that. Should I tell my friends to act accordingly, or get over it and suffer through the consequences? | Soon to be ex-girlfriend has become close friends with my close friends; How should I approach letting her go from my life? |
t3_3db91z | personalfinance | I think my emergency fund saved us, but I may have used it incorrectly. | My wife and I didn't have many assets, just a 15 year old car with 250k miles and whatever is in our apartment, and a combined income of roughly $65k.
Earlier this year we finished building up a 6-month emergency fund and began saving for a car. Then about 3 months ago the tooth-pain kicked in... and it had been a decade since I last went to the dentist. That took a huge chunk of our emergency fund and will continue to be an expense for the next 9 months or so. Total dental expenses over the 12 month period are expected to be roughly $10,000. It never fully exhasted our emergency fund, but we were maintaining about a 3-month fund that was growing slowly due to recurring dental expenses.
Sunday while we were out of state our car died. We limped it back home yesterday, but it's not worth repairing considering its age and miles. So today we went car shopping. Got offered 0% and $0 down if we bought a 2016 Elantra -- we were originally looking at used cars, but that 10 year/100k mile warrany is just too appealing after being stuck in the middle of the road too often this last year.
They showed us different payment options and, man, does a down payment make a big difference. So our emergency fund is down to 1 month, with the hopes that it will pay off in the long run. That 0% interest, though... it was hard to ignore. We have a strong support system (live near lots of family more than eager to help out if something were to happen), but I feel bad going this low on the e-fund.
I feel like that was a bad move, but it shouldn't take us long to build up an e-fund again. We're good at tightening our belts. Just in case anyone is interested, my job has fantastic retirement so it isn't like this is getting in the way of that. | Blew emergency fund on dental expenses then a down payment on a 0% interest car loan. Not too worried, but curious on the community's take about how I used the e-fund. |
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