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t3_13yx6n | AskReddit | What has some random stranger done for you without even knowing it, that has really saved you a lot of hassle? | First off I would like to admit that I do have a little bit of a led foot when driving. I'm not proud of this and do try my best to control it. Anyways, today when I was driving home from class I was caught behind someone that was obeying the speed limit of 35 in a single lane road. I thought this was absolutely ridiculous and was getting incredibly annoyed, so I thought I'd just gun it and get around him by going in the other lane. The person behind me though, already had this idea. So as he was flying past myself and the driver in front of us I noticed a cop coming up on the right. However, the speedster didn't and was promptly pulled over for, I am assuming, reckless driving.
Looking back on this, both the person in front and behind me save me potentially hundreds of dollars in insurance spikes as well as a potential suspended license.
So my question to you reddit, is what has some random stranger done for you without even knowing it that has really saved your ass? | got stuck behind slowpoke in one lane road, speedster them behind me passed before me and got pulled over. Saved me a lot of money. |
t3_pk641 | AskReddit | Hey Canadians, help me enjoy your beautiful land. | So I've decided to make a trip to Canada this summer after being told to do so by every awesome Canadian I've ever met. I live in Phoenix, and Allegiant airlines will fly me round trip to within an hour of Vancouver for about $200. Awesome, right?
What should I do? I know Canada is beautiful, I know there are wonderful herbs to be had, and I know there are plenty of great things to see! But what? I, and the folks who will likely be joining me are an adventurous bunch. We're willing to travel a bit once in Canada to do cool shit. | I want to go to Canada. Tell me about beautiful shit to see and do, good places to party and meet awesome Canadian folk, and have a blast in general. |
t3_vnth1 | relationships | Majorly conflicted: Don't know if I should break up with her or not. | First off, any advice would be amazingl.
Right now I'm in a relationship with the first girlfriend I've ever had. I am 22 and male; she is 20 and female. We've been together two years and Im completely conflicted if I should break up with her or not.
If I had to put a date on it, I'd say we'd been going out for a year when I first started thinking that the relationship wouldn't work. Back then it was mostly due to fighting. We were fighting almost every night. I broke up with her once during that time and it hurt far more that I thought it would. 10 minutes after I ended it I decided that I still had feelings for her; I would try to make it work. As time progressed things actually did get better. We hardly fight at all these days. I never managed to shake the doubts, though, and there have been couple of almost break-ups over that time period.
So that brings me to the present. Here are my main problems:
1. I can't tell if I just love her or am in love with her
2. I'm worried that there might be someone out there better for me (we don't share many common interests except a sense of humor)
3. I dont know if Ill ever be sure of my feelings
4. I have always felt she loves me more than I love her
5. Even though she sees me as her best friend, I don't know if I feel the same. There are some parts of myself (our personalities and interests are almost completely opposite) that I can't share with her.
I still have a good time when Im with her and am still attracted to her though. We enjoying talking to each other most of the time as well. I just can't tell if its just friendship that I'm feeling when Im with her or romantic love.
I seriously don't know what to do and I feel like an asshole for constantly doubting what could be a good thing and keeping her in the dark about it. Again any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. | I cant tell if I am no longer in love with my girlfriend or If I am just wrongfully wondering if theres someone better for me |
t3_3hd4hb | relationships | My [25m] father [60m] is having a hard time getting over his divorce. | Hey,
My parents were married for ~30 years.
For the first 15 years, things were good, but then financial problems caused tensions in the family.
They fought every day, acted like assholes to each other, mom mostly reactionary. I suspect my father had at least 1 affair.
Things were bad for the last 15 years of their marriage, so my mom divorced him.
Now he blames her for all his mistakes, when he admits he made mistakes, otherwise he just sees things as just a downturn, other families recovered, why couldn't we, etc.
He says he's depressed and lonely, every time I see him we fight about the divorce, but I'm basically his only support, partly financially and emotionally.
He doesn't seem to be able to admit any part of the blame, even though most of it is his, and find outrageous excuses, implying things were planned years ahead, or there were other men, or other things like that. Which are all not true.
It's been 3 years since the divorce, so I'm starting to think he may have some kind of mental issue, or he's a very good manipulator. Don't know what to do with him. Did any of you experience similar issues? | Father acted like an asshole for 15 years, so my mother divorced him. Now he's depressed, thinks he hasn't done any harm, ever, and is complacent with himself. What to do? |
t3_3r2kz7 | relationships | I [20 M] really like, and asked out, my friend [19 F] (3yrs); she said we're friends "at the moment". Is there a future? What do I do? | So I've known this girl for a few years, and TBH I've been totally in love with her since day one. However, we worked together at something where relationships would really get in the way, so I never told her. Also, we're part of a group of friends who would all just do stuff as a group, and I never felt it was the right time to bring it up.
Anyway, we've all moved on and see each other less, but I still chat/snapchat with the girl and see her occasionally.
For context, we get along great, and have great chemistry. We've never not had fun together.
Now, in the past couple of months, she's invited me out for coffee and invited me shopping with her (tech, not clothes), and mentioned other stuff to do in the future which is all considered "datey".
So, with all that in mind, I thought I'd finally tell her how I feel. Given that we normally communicate on FB messenger I did it there (we never really talk on the phone, so that's why I didn't call, and we don't live or work near each other, so I won't bump into her).
She basically said that she sees me as a friend, "at the moment". If she just didn't like me at all, why say this? Does she see us together in the future, and wants to keep her options open? Is she just "softening the blow"?
Final thing - I don't want to sound arrogant, but - for more context - I get a lot of interest from other girls so I'm not repulsive :P (work out; tall; financially good; studying a "hard" subject; talented at music/art, etc)
I really don't get it. Have I misread our chemistry and her "datey" requests? Is there any point in chasing her, or should I just forget about it? :/
Thanks in advance! | Madly in love with a friend; I'm not fugly and we get along great; asked her out and she didn't give me a straight yes/no. WTF do I do now? |
t3_1of7w7 | relationships | I'm not sure if I should bring our relationship to an end. Me [M 22] and Girlfriend [20] | I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 5 years. The relationship was great, up until around a year ago when we started to argue a lot and she started to annoy me quite frequently.
Recently, we have both moved to a different country to study, and live just a short journey away from each other. Since being here, we have stayed together, but live completely different lives. I enjoy going out and socializing with friends and she enjoys staying in with hers and just relaxing.
As I said, we have been arguing quite frequently over the most ridiculous things.
Since moving here around 2 months ago, I have made friends with some really cool people, and some of them are female. My girlfriend has got quite jealous at this fact and we have fell out over this. But, one of the girls I have made friends with, is literally amazing. She makes me laugh, I enjoy her company, and she makes me feel good. She has expressed that she likes me as more than friends, but knows that it could never go any further as I am in a committed relationship.
Me and my girlfriend want totally different things in life. I want to travel and explore the world, whereas she wants to finish studying and move back home as soon as possible.
This is where it gets complicated really. The girl that I have made friends with literally enjoys the sames things as I do, she wants to travel and see the world, she has the exact same interests as I do and she just makes me feel good about myself as I said above.
I'm just not quite sure what to do. I love my girlfriend, but I am unhappy. It puts stress on me staying in the relationship when we argue, as it is over the most ridiculous and petty things, all caused by her. Im just not quite sure what to do. | Been with my girlfriend for 5 years, I am unhappy, and have made friends with a girl that makes me happy and has the same interests as i do. Not sure whether to work at the relationship, or end it. |
t3_12x4gq | relationships | [25M] lost with with older [31F] after recent conversation. | I met this person while they were an intern at the same company we are both currently at. We talked and hung out with the group after hours and outside of work. I started to like her and could see she felt the same. When we were alone I asked her what the deal was and she laid out that she didn't think it was fair to date a co-worker and she has been burned in the past by younger guys.
She was honest and I understood. We remained friends and kept talking. We had gotten to the point where we were talking every night and hanging out 2-3 times a week outside of work. It seemed that she was starting to open up to the idea and the possibility of getting physical soon. We were going to have our "first date" this weekend.
Yesterday everything stopped. No communication, nothing. I found out through a friend that at lunch she had asked him if I had anyone living with me and he answered yes. She shot me an email asking how much luch was and how my live in girlfriend was. Major WTF moment, I replied that I had a friend staying with me due to issues she was having with her roommate. I ran into her a few times and she won't even look at me.
Basically I don't know if I should just let it die or try to talk to her? | Started off as friends, became closer, and now nothing after she found out another girl was living with me for a short time. |
t3_2qoxyy | relationship_advice | I (25m) tried to get my gf (25fm) to have skype sex with disastrous results. How can we fix this? | We have been together for two years now and my job requires me to be away for long periods of time. I tried to get her to skype sex and it did not go well. She completely misunderstood my euphemism of naked skype and literally thought I just wanted to skype with our clothes off and was horrified when she found out what I meant. She is not typically prude or shy like that we have made videos (her idea) and I know she has done some fairly adventurous stuff with other partners before me. (3some, butt, girl on girl). I don't understand why she reacted this way. She made me feel like a disgusting pig and I feel rejected, hurt, confused and embarrassed. | tried to get my gf to have skype sex and her reaction made me feel like a sexual deviant or like I'm lacking something. How do we fix this? |
t3_13s80e | relationships | My gf [f,23] isn't good at dealing with my [m,22] somewhat new emotional problems, need advice for how to handle it. | We are in a 6 year relationship in which I have spent a lot of time helping her with her own problems with anxiety and depression. I have only recently had to deal with thise sames things myself, resulting from a combination of things cropping up. She is very supportive when possible, but neither of us is very used to the dynamic being flipped like this (Im bad at receiving help and she is bad at giving it).
I find myself snapping at her a lot, since my patience with even everyday things is at zero, and she doesnt know how to deal with me not being happy. The end result is that she is irritated with my hostility and i am resentful of her apparent disintrest in helping. Keep in mind that is not the defining characteristic of our relationship even now (we arent on the verge of breaking up or anything), but this dynamic needs to change before things really start to go bad. Any insight is appreciated. | Long term relationship, first time i am in a prolonged depression, she cant handle it, need advice for how to best help her help me |
t3_24xo9k | offmychest | I started college, but fuck | I started college back in August. I thought I had the right idea of what I needed to do for success. I quickly learned, however, that this was not the case. I go to a school 900 miles away from my hometown, with a change of scenery hoping that I could do my hobbies. I wasn't able to do these things all that much, so an expectation of mine was shot down there.
Academically, I bombed my first semester (I failed two out of three classes). I had no idea how the actual fuck I was to get my shit together and bring myself to do the things that needed to be done (i.e. studying) on a regular basis.
I took a step back during winter break when I was home for a month and tried to let my lessons soak in.
I've had a better, but still very rocky experience over this past semester. For a few weeks my sleep schedule was royally fucked over (it's living in the dorm) to the point where I missed math a lot. I had an exam, which I got 14% on.
I need a C in this one class to stay in school, everything else is fine, but thanks to THAT ONE EXAM, I'm probably gonna fail again and flunk out of college. | Fucked myself over first semester of college, made a few mistakes in my second one and now because I bombed one exam I'm probably flunking out. |
t3_347auh | college | Whether or not a degree in American Studies/Media Studies is worth it | I'm nearing the end of my second year at UVa, and I'm undecided right now. I have to declare a major soon and I'm really stressed out about it. My main choice for a major is Political Science, but I honestly doubt I'll enjoy any of the jobs I could find with it. What I really enjoy is studying culture, as the classes that I've taken in American Studies and Media Studies have shown. The biggest fear I concern I have with those two career paths, however, is the prospective job outlook. I've talked to professors from both divisions, and of course they say that they're great degrees to have. I've done some research too, and they seem like extremely risky fields to get into. Could anyone with a degree/getting a major in one of these fields give me some info on how you feel about your career path? | Wondering whether or not to major in American Studies/Media Studies and just looking for some info/advice/perspectives on the fields. |
t3_2f2ft0 | relationships | What should I [18] do about this potential problem with a girl [18] that I met in class? | I'm in college, and I met a girl in my math class, and ended up getting her number. I texted her the day after saying something along the lines of "Hey it's Spritesgud from Math, good luck today!" (It was bid day for sororities). She replied "Thanks sweet heart." Not really sure if it was sarcastic or not, but we talked back and forth for about 5 hours. I looked her up on facebook and it says she's in a relationship from 2012 that hasn't been updated much since. Should I just hang out with her and see if she ever brings it up, or just bail ship before it could get too bad?
__________________________________________ | Girl I met seems to really like me, but is in a relationship on social media from over a year ago and hasn't been updated since. |
t3_tzaa4 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the single most enthusiasm draining, gut wrenching, emotionally disemboweling event to take place in your life? | A little over one year ago, I was asked to the debutante ball by one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my short life. We had, at the time of being asked to the Deb, known each other for about five years, and over this period of time I had grown quite attracted to her, as did she, and for a while we dated. This came to an end as she felt like i was being 'clingy'. Anyway halfway through last year she asked me to attend the Deb with her. The feeling can only be equal to a small child being exposed to a theme park for an extended period of time, the sheer level of happiness has still to be matched. A few days went by, i received some information about costing what i had to wear and what not. Then out of the blue, over facebook, she asked if it was alright to revoke her offer to take me, and instead take a close friend of mine. I have never in all of my life experienced that feeling more than once. Having the personality I do, I said "of course I understand" promptly after she responded with "cool, thanks for being so understanding". The 18th of April 2011 was the day that i will forever remember as being the worst day of my life (so far). | The person I loved asked me to the Deb Ball, one or two weeks after she changes her mind, takes one of my close friends instead, and asks if it was alright to do so, over facebook. |
t3_1u9cjv | relationships | I [20 M] need advice on taking out a [18 F] friend because of her parents | I have a friend who I've taken out twice now. The last time we went out I picked her up at her house and things were fine. We've had a great time hanging out with each other though things aren't too intimate yet; just cuddling and some kissing/making out a bit.
I've been home for winter break, and I want to see her one last time before heading back to university on Sunday (she doesn't go to my school). We planned to meet this Saturday. Unfortunately, she's told me that although she really wants to go out on Saturday too, her parents won't let her until I go talk to them and ask permission.
Anyone who's been in a situation like this before, how did you handle it and what did you say? Her parents knew we were going out when I picked her up the last time so this is a bit surprising. | Taking out a girl for the third time this Saturday but have to get her parent's permission first. How do I approach this? |
t3_4rrvzd | legaladvice | How should I handle this situation with a vendor? | I'm an office manager at a small organization of about a dozen employees. We recently moved offices and I was tasked with purchasing new furniture for our suite. This is the first time I have done anything like this so I didn't know quite what to expect.
When we received our order a week ago, my staff indicated the guest chairs in their offices were somewhat uncomfortable. I had hoped they just needed some breaking in, but after a few people took meetings and their guests commented on how awful the chairs are, I decided to reach out to the vendor to see if we could exchange the chairs for something different. I do agree the chairs are highly uncomfortable and we really don't want our guests to have to sit in in these.
I emailed the vendor and told him my problem with the chairs, and he responded that since the items were not in stock and they had to order them, they could not be exchanged or returned. I was taken aback by his response and checked the wording on the sales order form. Sure enough, it said "no returns on non stock items." I was aware the larger furniture couldn't be returned because it had to be special ordered and required assembly but I had no idea this applied to the chairs, too. My fault for not understanding or questioning this, but this is my first go around with this type of thing and I really didn't even think about this happening.
Regardless, I replied to my vendor and expressed my disappointment. I told him it was unfortunate there was nothing they could do considering we are unhappy with the chairs and will not be using them. I didn't receive any kind of response. I've experienced much better customer service with other vendors and have (fortunately) never run into this type of issue before. Is there anything I can do? From a legal stand point, am I completely out of luck? I'm located in Texas. | I'm unhappy with a product I received from a vendor. He has been unhelpful and stuck to his policy of not accepting returns or offering refunds. Is there anything I can do? I'm located in Texas. |
t3_1na02f | dating_advice | [21m] (23f) Randomly met a girl one evening, together with a friend. Arranged to get drinks together next week, but... | Okay so I'm going to a bar with a friend, when a group of people start a conversation with us. My friend is kinda drunk and starts getting into a discussion with a few guys from that group. Said girl and me are quietly laughing with them and start talking to eachother.
After about a small hour, we decide to get going, and in saying goodbye, my friend blurts out to her: hey, your favorite beer was X right? Let's grab a drink next week, here's my number. They hadn't really talked to one another, but she says sure and immediatly asks if I am going too. I give her my name so she can add me of FB, and we're off.
That same evening she adds me on fb, and the next morning I ask her if the drinks are still a go. She says she can't on the date we agreed that night, but says she can go the next day if that's okay with me. We talk a bit and that's it, no mention of my friend whatsoever, she hasn't sought any contact with him.
So now my question is: should I ask her if I should bring my friend along, or does she expect it to only be me? I don't want to come over as the creep who made it a date, but on the hand, I don't want to be the dork who brings a friend along to a date. | Met girl with friend, friend arranges drinks with her, she only contacts me morning after. Date or drinks with all 3 of us? |
t3_3lgbfp | relationships | Have we....me (34f) and him (41m)....damaged our relationship to the point we should throw in towel? | We've only been a couple for just under 2 years.
Everything started out so good (as it usually does of course). So much in common, so much to talk about, very open and honest with each other, lots of respect on both sides. About 6 months in, he started doing things that bothered me and I would call him on it.
As time went on we had more arguments. And I started off being pretty reserved, but we both allowed arguments to eventually become heated. He's the type who resorts to name calling when very angry, which I was never used to, so I would get very upset about that and stay angry for a lot longer than I would have in a "fair fight". As time went on, we just seemed to fight about a lot more things.
We've both said unkind things (and later apologized). We've both hit below the belt at times (him moreso, but we're both guilty). In my previous 2 relationships I haven't argued this way (although I know he has said he's always had a lot of arguments in relationships). He has a short fuse and tends to say mean things much faster than I do. I just tend to react.
We are in love and want to be in this relationship. But after so much arguing and not even 2 years in, I'm sensing an underlying resentment. I think I resent him. I get mad faster now. I find it harder to forget some of the things he's said to me. I find myself remembering them at random times and wondering if he really meant it. I get mad faster (as does he) and it feels like some respect has been lost on both sides. | BF of less than 2 years and I fight "dirty" and I feel resentful towards him, which I fear has poisoned our relationship. We blth want this relationship but is it damaged? |
t3_2965ij | relationships | Me [28 M] with my Girlfriend [25 F] a little over a year. | Need some perspective on this situation. Well gf and i have been going out for a little over a year. For the most part really positive relationship we really enjoy each others company and love each other however the last couple of months have been a little rough (petty issues like 'likes' on instagram, jealousy, not making her feel special, etc..) So she decided to break up because it was just to much to handle. She said she loved me but was just not happy in the relationship so she ended it.
I accepted it and followed with no contact and moved along with my life. But then two weeks after the break up without knowing anything about each other we find ourselves at a music festival and talked.
We began talking again soon after and spent the last week together. We decided to work things out and currently we are boyfriend and girlfriend. But my issue is this, during the break up she made plans to travel with a male friend of hers (a friend since high school strictly platonic) The travel plans are for an 'extended period' of time over a month, she says she wants to travel and the tickets are paid for. I just don't feel comfortable with the situation with them sharing a life together. I understand her point of view but it just doesn't feel right on my end.
Some perspective would be great or if you guys need some more clarification just let me know, thanks! | Girlfriend and I broke up she makes travel plans with a male friend of hers. We get back together 2 weeks later and doesn't want to cancel her plans even though we are in a relationship. Some perspective please! |
t3_1ixltw | relationships | My [22M] struggle with two exes [20F and 25F] | The problems started when I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years [20F] in November 2012. Let's call her Sarah. That was one of the toughest experiences in my life.
I could have sworn that she was the woman of my life. We were happy; both of us, without an exception. There was not a single sign of any relationship struggle. In November, she went on a archaeologic excursion with her universe. The first few days of her spending there were okay.
Then the contacting gradually lowered and lowered. About a week in she lets me know that she doesn't think the relationship can work; she doesn't miss me anymore and doesn't love me anymore. It was a huge blow to me. I fell on the complete bottom and never mangaged to recuperate. Ever since then, there's been this clinging emptyness inside me.
About 3 months ago, I met a woman online. Let's call her Rachel. We talked a lot and eventually decided to try an online relationship. It worked for two months, where it fell apart. I didn't feel the same as I did in the previous relationship. It did hurt a bit, but not as much.
We decided to stay friends, because we enjoyed eachother's company. Another important part to mention is that we felt incredible sexual attraction towards eachother. So let's say that we continued being friends - with benefits. It was working great. We talked, had fun, spent time together. Then today, she told me out of nowhere that she found a new boyfriend.
And today, that clinging emptyness came back.
I am completely mortified with no sense of direction. What am I to do? How can I distract myself? It's almost 6am and sleep has never been so far away. I keep on thinking about it. What would be the most rational thing of me to do? Cut all contact? Try and be her friend and feel this way? How can I get rid of this empty feeling?
Any help and insight would be appreciated. | Two unsuccessful relationships, mortifying sense of emptyness with a loss of sense of direction and what to do, unsure about how to proceed about the last ex and how to get rid of the feeling of emptyness. |
t3_11ci1s | relationships | [21M]y ex IM'd me today [21f]or the first time in 9 months. | We got to talking, and ended up working out that we're going to meet up tomorrow.
We were together for almost 6 years, but broke up in January. It wasn't a horrible break-up, but I had a lot of questions about it.
In July, I found out that she had had sex with one of my old friends, or so he said. I asked her about it, and she denied it. I don't rightly care if she did or not, but I would like to know if she's lying.
We spoke for about 20 minutes on the phone today. She sounded near tears talking to me, and kept saying that she 'couldn't believe she was talking to me,' but more in the scheme of how long it's been.
I don't know how to act tomorrow. I'm not sure if she wants to get back together, but regardless, it's not going to happen, at least not yet.
What do? | My ex started talking to me after 9 months. A (roughly)6 year relationship ended abruptly. Meeting up tomorrow, what do? |
t3_1qyojb | relationship_advice | Can I get r/relationship_advice's opinion on my situation? [19/m] | Hello, members of r/relationship_advice, this is a throwaway account to help me get closure on a problem that has bugged me for a long time.
I am a 19 year old heterosexual male in my freshman year of college. While I was never popular with girls in high school, I have quite a few female friends in college - I even think I have a chance at a relationship with some of them.
However, I am very inexperienced with girls and relationships. I haven't had my first kiss yet, and I am still a virgin.
But what makes me different from the inexperienced heterosexual males I have found on Reddit and all over the Internet is this: I suffer from herpes simplex I, otherwise known as "cold sores." Based on what I have seen on Reddit, cold sores are a deal-breaker for many heterosexual women.
Needless to say, because of all these problems and because I don't know of anybody who has ever been in the same predicament, I don't think I can ever have a normal, functioning relationship with a woman, but what do you all think? | I've never had sex or had my first kiss, but I still suffer from cold sores. Is there any hope for me? |
t3_2vhxto | relationships | Me [M 17] and a classmate that is giving me signs that she is attracted to me [F 17] she has been giving me signs since last year. What should I do? | Ok so their is a girl in my first period and fourth period class that gives me signs that she is attracted to me. She looks at me and when I look at her she turns away, she laughs at me when I'm not funny, and she checked her hair when she sat next to me.
I am planning on asking her a simple question about our fourth period project. But after that should I compliment her or tell her that she is pretty? I got mixed answers from people. Some say take it slow and build up the relationship, compliment her hair after, or call her pretty and ask for her number. I am really confused. | how should I approach a girl that I think is attractive? Should I take it slow,compliment her hair,or call her cute and ask for her number? |
t3_3kpnyk | relationships | I'm [36F] unemployed and starting to resent my friends and family [various] | About seven months ago I lost my job which was not a big deal because I hated what I was doing and had been trying to switch fields for a long time. At the time my friends and family were so supportive. Some of them work in the industry I was trying to get into and they offered to talk to their bosses, some offered to introduce me to friends of theirs in the field. I felt so loved and it seemed like everything was going to be fine.
It's been a while since that time and nothing has materialized. Not one of those introductions actually happened and I haven't seen any success applying on my own. I tried to follow up but it's been excuses for months and eventually I just stopped. I am no closer to being employed than I was six months ago and I'm getting depressed. While I could write several more paragraphs about how much of a failure I feel like, that isn't really the issue here. I'm having a hard time talking to my friends and family. Deep down I'm very resentful of all the promises they failed to deliver on. I already feel like a failure but more than that I don't think anyone believes in me and maybe they never did. I don't really go to social events at this point because I don't know how to look at my friends. I'm dreading family events because of the same thing. How do I keep these relationships going while feeling so let down? | Friends and family made a lot of promises during early unemployment; failed to deliver. I don't know how to socialize with them anymore |
t3_2qruvw | relationships | I [14/M] came home drunk yesterday and mom [40+/F] is really pissed. | First off I completely accept that it is my fault. I shouldn't have come home drunk after downing multiple beers and I've already apologised to her.
My mother is also very understanding and did not really escalate the situation too much but she is also the type of person who is very paranoid about things.
For example, when I got hurt badly a few years ago, she was there to comfort me and all without berating me for my carelessness but she became really protective and went to extreme lengths to ensure my safety which I felt was her being way too overprotective.
Yesterday, she told me that I should not be having too many at this age and that I should completely go off alcohol. I was agreeable to this since I felt that this would also be best for me.
However, she also said that I should never drink again till I reach my graduation (24y/o since I have to serve army here). I felt that this was way too extreme and I was willing to wait till I am legal (about 18) because I felt it was the best thing to do.
I do not have any idea on how to find an amicable solution to this problem because I am obviously in the wrong here but I don't know how to propose a solution to this problem without restricting myself too much. | Came home drunk yesterday. Mum freaks out and says never to drink till I am 24. Need a better solution that we can agree to. |
t3_393sar | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [33 M] of 6.5 months, I am almost 3 months pregnant and his mother thinks I am after his money. | A couple weeks ago I posted [here] asking for help and you all were very supportive.
For those of you who never saw my first posts: I got pregnant unexpectedly and my bf of 6 months didn't take to too well at first, and it took a few days for him to come around and be supportive and want to work things out.
Now a new problem has occurred. We recently decided to tell our families about the pregnancy. My family wasn't thrilled about it, but accepted it and wished us luck. His father was the same way.
However, his mother had a completely different reaction. When he called her to tell her, he put the phone on speaker so we could both talk to her. He told her about me being pregnant, and she automatically started yelling stuff like "she did this on purpose" and "She is just after your money" and "why are you even with her, its clear that she had this baby to keep you around and to support her."
He tried to tell her off, standing up for me, saying that he wants this baby, I am not like that, etc.
I just don't know what to do. This made me upset that she thought that about me, but glad he stood up for me. I don't want this to affect their relationship, but don't know what to do.
Is there any way of convincing her she is wrong? She has never met me, and lives 200 miles away. They rarely see each other, but talk on the phone a lot. | bf's mother think I trapped him by getting pregnant, and I don't know how to convince her that pregnancy was completely unplanned and that we are choosing to raise the baby together and I am not after his money. |
t3_2mxm14 | relationships | Me [28F] with my boyfriend[35m] of 9 months, I have repetitive emotional distance that has happened in every relationship and I'd really like to change this, help! | Hello, this is my first time posting so I hope I do this right.I have been with my boyfriend who is the kindest, most patient, supportive man I have ever met and I am slowly starting to tear us apart.
Background: Since about age 22 I've never had a relationship last more than a year or lived with anyone. Every time I date someone around the 8th month mark or sooner I start to nit pick, feel annoyed at nothing (really), decreased sex drive, feel less affectionate (if at all) and just experience a general distance from my partner. I start to in my head turn who was once a good friend and lover into this person who is almost my enemy. I saw this behavior pattern and sought counseling and was single for quite sometime, thinking I had solved it I returned into the dating world and met who when I am in my right state of mind the person I could marry.
Sometimes when my boyfriend talks I feel like he's trying to teach me and feel annoyed. I try to in my brain take a step back and realize he is just sharing some of what he is reading/learning which is awesome really!!! I just get overly defensive about everything and get an attitude. I can see myself doing this and I can't stop it because my feelings are so strong. My boyfriend is hardworking, tentative, responsible and even working full time does helps with house chores anytime I ask or even when I don't! I am in school full time and work and he is nothing but supportive of my school work and study group times. Also, my family loves him! And here my brain is trying to form disconnect and it's working. I am starting to feel less affectionate and he notices and I feel like he deserves much more and I am sad I don't naturally feel like I want to give it to him. Even with all this hurricane inside my head I always try to remind him how amazing he is and how thankful I am for him and his support and try to do stuff to be supportive back, I still feel a disconnect. Has anyone else ever experienced this? Insight would be amazing. Thank you | Repetitive old thought patterns are destroying my relationships with the man of my dreams and I don't know how to make it stop. |
t3_smeg0 | AskReddit | Advice on Fighting Roommates. | Ok. So I moved in with my friend and her boyfriend, and they fight like cats a dogs. This is fine, the noise doesn't particularly bother me. What does bother me however are the loud thuds that come from the room. I know he has a temper but I have a hard time imaging him lay a finger on her. I want to imagine he is just banging against the door or the furniture but in the back of my mind I am afraid that he is abusing her. I am obviously sympathetic to my friend and I have no proof of any abuse but almost every night I hear them scream and I hear loud noises followed by no talking at all. After one particularly loud fight I urged her to leave the house with me and talk to me about it but nothing doing. How do keep an eye out for my friend? Could I be jumping to the wrong conclusion? If I call the police wrongly I feel like this will only further strain their relationship and the very fragile home situation. It is also relevant to mention that she has a bit of a temper too. If I see any visible bruises I will call the police but are there any other red flags I can look out for? Thanks reddit, I have had this on my mind for 2 months now. It calmed down recently but has started up again in a big way. I love this girl and I would hate myself if anything happened to her that I could prevent. | I think my roommates may be in an abusive relationship but I have absolutely no proof, (should I call the cops?) |
t3_1tgczp | relationships | I [18 M] am too clingy with my girlfriend [18 F], seek advice regarding reasonable behavior | I have been dating this girl for 6-7 months, and I'm starting to worry about the way I act.
My being clingy certainly isn't something I've been accused of, because even if my girlfriend thought it I doubt she'd be inclined to tell me about it. *I've* observed that I'm emotionally clingy and while it's something I that know about, I don't seem to have much power over it. * | I'm very emotionally clingy and can't seem to work past it, despite a relatively fulfilling relationship with someone I care a lot for. Any advice or insights regarding this kind behavior and how to get through it would be hugely appreciated. |
t3_xbhz4 | AskReddit | Today, I found out that my grandpa watches porn. Not the normal, 'ok that's just guy stuff' but the creepy, over the top, should-not-exist kind. Reddit, what are some facts about your family/friends/loved ones that you wish you never had found out? | My grandpa had constantly been complaining how his computer had been getting slower and slower, random messages kept popping up, standard virus problems. So, being the good grandson that I am, I offer to fix it while he wasn't home. I do the normal thing, put the computer into system recovery with networking, download anti-viral software, let that fix it up, clear out his temporary downloads folder, and top it off with a nice firewall. I check on what was causing the problem, assuming he might have clicked on a wrong link by accident, and it turns out that every single problem was connected to this creepy, fetish website that is probably the strangest, most gruesome thing you have ever seen. I go to check his history, hoping against all hope that this was a one time thing, but no. The past year or so he had been visiting this website. Over, and over again. If it was redtube, or pornhub, maybe I would have understood, but this. This was beyond my imagination. | My grandpa got a virus from a really creepy porn site that should not exist. That he has visited for the past year or so. |
t3_3qoc1l | personalfinance | I Need Help! I Have No Where Else To Go About This... | Hey everyone. I'm seriously desperate and need advice.
I've been unemployed for 8-9 months now in a tiny, hick town living back with my parents. I had to quit my last job because I couldn't find reliable transportation. I had a 1985 Bronco that I had gotten out of a previous relationship. Barely ran but if you knew what you were doing, you could make it run for less than $300.
My dad became interested in it and I sold it to him for $1200, letting him know I needed that much to be able to get another car for job hunting. We switched the title over, and he owns it now. But the problem is, it's been since July and he's only paid me back around $420. Now, I wouldn't normally bitch about getting paid, but here's the kicker: He tells me he can't pay me it all and is struggling with money right now. Yet, he just went in on a crossbow for my sister which costed him around $100. He built her car back brand new, and that costed around $600, even though she technically owed him money for it and was gonna have her boyfriend fix it. And then after that, he spent around $500-$700 fixing a trailer that didn't even need to be bothered with (in my opinion).
So, what do I do? The last time he paid me, it was $200 and he told me to not ask for money after that for a while. Yet, he pitches in $100 for my sister to get something she doesn't even need?! Pardon my language, but what the fuck? So, please, any advice would be helpful. My family doesn't treat me and my sister as equals at all, so it's no surprise he treats her and gets her shit. But what am I to do about it? | Dad owes me $1200, puts off paying me but will buy my sister things and spends money on non-necessities. |
t3_4wcufs | relationships | I [18M] met a girl [18] at University who I really like and get along with, but she has a boyfriend. | I'm about to be a freshman in college and during orientation a few months back I met a girl. After we met we spent the rest of the day together till we went to bed. I got her number and waited a while to text. On a whim I asked if she had a boyfriend and she said, yes. That somewhat surprised me because I thought she was flirting with me (could be wrong though). Now we are pretty good friends considering we have only hung out a few times. We text almost every day and never have a stagnet conversion. Both of us are always engaged and we get along very very well. Sometimes she kinda hints/ jokes about either not having a relationship or not being with the same guy (who happens to also be going to the same university). I really like her, we each have shared personal things that most people wouldn't talk about this early on in a friendship, but I'm afraid of getting hurt. I feel like if somehow by the grace of all the gods' might put together I end up dating her, then I will have a constant fear of her talking to guys behind my back as she's doing to her boyfriend right now. I know she isn't the type to be nessicarily "unfaithful." I want to at least hang out with her quite a bit more before sharing these feelings I think, but in the meantime I don't know what to do. Should I tell her now? Should I stop talking to her so much? Should I not flirt with her? I just don't know what to do and I really don't want to mess things up with her because I know I really want to be with her. | met a girl at University who I get along with very well, but she has a boyfriend. Every day I get more and more attached and want to date her. |
t3_40v8qk | relationships | I'm [18F] thinking of dating one of two guys [18M] but I want to be sure of the right choice | I can't be unsure about my feelings for fear of leading both of them on. To be honest this question isn't just an "either or", I actually have no clue what I'm getting myself into. I don't know what love feels like so I'm not sure I love either of them. I've had a girl crush before so I'm not even sure if I'm straight. Both guys are really nice and most of all I don't want to hurt either of them.
I'm 18 years old and a freshman girl in college. I really haven't had a boyfriend before. I'd like to start dating. I've already had my first kiss but there are other things. I want to cuddle with someone and have sex and all the other relationship type things.
There are several guys who I'm pretty certain are interested in me right now. Out of those, there's a couple nice guys I've knows for ~4 months with qualities I like. The first one who I'll call Caleb, is really friendly and he knows exactly how I feel. I really like the intellectual type of people who I can have a serious conversation with and debate controversial issues with. We can talk about something and he can listen and understand, then either agree or make a really profound counterpoint.
Then we have guy number two who I'll call William. William is really sweet and kinda shy which I find cute. He's more attractive physically than Caleb but he's missing the conversations I enjoy. It's not necessarily that Caleb is more intelligent; William just doesn't talk as much. He asks me questions and I do most of the talking. Nowadays I see William more often than Caleb and I feel like he's trying to get a bit closer to me. | I wanted to start dating. Should I (A) Go for the nice intellectual one (B) Attractive shy one (C) Wait for someone else (D) Don't date, masturbate (E) Some combination of things |
t3_1rcr8w | relationships | Me [20F] with my SO [24M] of a year, is it okay to smack sometimes? | So I got in an argument this weekend with my SO of a year. It wasn't really anything huge, just tired people being grumpy. I was kind of a bitch to him. We were trying to stay up to wait for something and I didn't want to be awake anymore so I eventually said "Fuck this, I am going to fucking bed", etc. He was already angry, saying stuff like "I just want to strangle you", etc.
Shortly after I went into my bed he ran into the room very aggressively and smacked me on the rear. Not in a playful way, but in a mean way. Then he rushed over me and made me stare him in the face while he told me to stop being a bitch.
I've been in abusive relationships in the past, so I tried explaining to him why this makes me really uncomfortable and brings back lots of old feelings. He doesn't feel apologetic and remorse over it, and he said that if I didn't want to get smacked then I should stop being a bitch.
I'm not sure how I am supposed to go on about this, or what I should do to make him see why it's not a good idea. | Got in petty argument, I was a bitch, got smacked for it, he won't apologize and says I deserve it for being a bitch. |
t3_4jsak1 | relationships | I [21M] want to look at my ex's [22F] Facebook.. Help! | It's been a little over a year since our 3 year on/off relationship ended. I recently graduated from college, and feel sad I will never see her again. She dumped me both times, and pursued relationships with new guys. The last breakup, she dated her friend's brother days after dumping me. She would talk so highly about him, and told me he had a crush on her. It made me uncomfortable, but I didn't do anything about it.
She dropped me like a bad habit for him, and he dumped her after a month. She's had plenty of boyfriends since then, and I haven't had any luck. Lately I've been feeling curious as to what she's up to and I want to look at her Facebook. Maybe as a reminder that it's over. I've looked at it a few months ago, and she seems to be doing fine without me. She has a new boyfriend. | I'm feeling really down lately, and want to look at my ex's Facebook as a slap in the face to remind me that it's over. I know it will hurt me though, and don't want to do anything stupid. |
t3_1ablo7 | relationships | My (F, 18) friend (M, 18) of 11 years wants me to take his v card | My friend is a nerdy shy kind of guy. He is a virgin and I am not. He asked me to take his v card because he just wants to get it over with. I can totally understand where he is coming from.
I really don't know what to do because one part of me knows that if I took his v card he could be more confident, happier, have a weight off of his chest, etc. I mean, he's a teen guy losing his v card, of course he'd be happy.
The other part of me knows if I took his virginity, He could feel like he lost something special and he might regret losing it to a no strings attached kind of thing. Not to mention it could start rumors about us and either one of us could get hell over it, especially because our moms have been friends for years. He might get attached to me and be heart broken because he knows I don't feel any romantic emotions towards him. | My shy nerdy friend wants me to take his v card and I don't know if I would be doing him a favor or scaring him for life |
t3_v5hem | relationship_advice | [19/f] should I break things off with my boyfriend [26/m] | So this is my first relationship and we are sort of long distance, only get to see each other once or twice a week due to me having to take care of my grandma pretty much 24/7 and he works full time, and two hour distance between us.
He makes me happy but I feel like I am not even close to being as awesome to him as he is to me. His ex-girlfriends are all much prettier so I know he could do better than me. And my anxiety is causing issues because I have a hard time explaining those types of issues to people especially him because I don't want him to think I am crazy. I love him more than anything but I feel eventually he is going to realize he can do better and leave me.
I just read a few things (because I for some reason love trying to find things even though I know they are going to hurt me) he wrote on a forum when he was in his last relationship and she does sound like she really was amazing. I mean then she cheated on him and left him for the guy but before that she was apparently the only thing that made him happy. they were dating for like three months I think while we have been dating 9 months.
He says that all his girlfriends cheated on him so I feel like he lowered his standards just to be with someone he knows wouldn't cheat on him.
I have a terrible self image, anxiety problems, depression, I mean who stays with someone like that? I am overweight and terrible skin and just I don't know and I think hat he is super attractive so he could easily do better. | Think I should break it off with my boyfriend because I hate myself and he could easily find someone better. And he deserves better. |
t3_545pl1 | relationships | Has my [m23] past caused bad karma with my 6 month relationship with [m36]? | I can't sleep, I've lost weight and we're drifting apart.
I've got a solid history of failed relationships. Something always goes wrong whether it be lying, cheating or abuse, they've never worked out.
I love my boyfriend so much and things were going great until recently where I've felt the need to dig because I am a firm believer in that if something is too good to be true, it usually is.
My digging has caused me to jump to conclusions which has lead to unsubstantiated allegations and heated arguments and now my trust has been burnt and it's affecting our ability to love one another.
He is a saint for being so placid about everything when if I were him, i'd kick my crazy ass to the curb!
Can I build my trust of him again? Or do you think I've lost him forever? How am I supposed to heal old wounds?
Of course there's other things going on behind the scenes, but before I can work on us, I need to work on me.
I cannot even trust myself because all I've ever known is disappointment so that's what I'm waiting for.
I'm breaking my own heart, help! | ! I'm struggling to trust my boyfriend because I don't trust myself to screw things up because every relationship I've had has failed for some reason or another. |
t3_qm68v | AskReddit | An International Business degree doesn't interest me at all, considering switching to Health and Exercise Science with a Business minor | I wasn't totally sure where to post this so I decided the most general /askreddit was appropriate, Hooray! So back story here.
I recently transferred to a new university for a number of reasons, first school was too expensive too far from home and general unhappiness was abound. I am currently an international business major with Japanese as my language and minor. Currently, there is absolutely nothing interesting about my courses be it economics or accounting. I've been finding it difficult to study for most of my classes other than Japanese because frankly they bore the living hell out of me and I have absolutely no emotional investment in them at all.
#I am considering switching to a health and exercise science major with a Japanese minor and possibly a business minor. I am a huge fitness nut and an amateur bodybuilder with my first competition coming up in a couple of months. I spent 4 years of my life rowing 3 years at the varsity high school level and 1 year at the D1 level before I transferred. I spend hours everyday researching new supplements/diets/workout plans just to gain as much of an edge as possible and none of it is in the least bit boring to me! I love everything about fitness and bodybuilding to a point of obsession.
#My problem stems from the fact that my stipulation from my mother when transferring was that I had to get an international business degree because "all my friends keep telling me how marketable you'll be and how much money you can make." which is all well in good but I don't give a rats ass about these classes and i don't think a job in the IB field will make me all that happy :(
#So my question for y'all, in order to help convince my mother I'll still be able to get a good job, is if I get an exercise science degree along with the business and Japanese minor, supplemented with my experience in bodybuilding(hoping I do well in my first comp) and D1 rowing do I have a shot at making a halfway decent living in the fitness and sports field? | can't stand International Business do I have a shot at making good money in the Exercise Science field with bodybuilding experience and such? |
t3_1ek333 | AskReddit | Should there be an Army of the United Nations; a voluntary international military force under the command of the UN itself? | I am aware that this has been proposed before. I personally believe that it would work out quite well. The official language could be English which is already spoken by much of the world and is more or less a de facto world language so I don't think a language barrier would be a problem for unit cohesion.
Because this force would be under the command of the UN itself, international "policing" efforts would be much faster than the current system which relies on the tepid will of contributing nations. Currently, the politicians in democracies are very slow and often paralyzed by fear of losing elections if wars become unpopular and costly as the burden is on the back of one or few nations (think conflict in Rwanda). So many times our leaders do nothing and let humans world wide suffer incomprehensible violence. The current conflict in Syria is what gave me this idea. If the UN had an army, it is possible that intervention could have occurred early and extremism birthed by anger may not have taken root. Maybe tens of thousands of lives would be saved with such cooperation. Sure, that is very much speculation and hindsight bias but it is not beyond the realm of possibility that focussed and early policing could have brought about a peaceful end to the conflict before it took flight.
An Army of the United Nations would be a world-wide alliance aimed at peace and an acknowledgement that we are one race living on one planet and should stand side-by-side as brothers and sisters. Early intervention could save so many lives. The United States and NATO make poor police because they cannot do enough on their own, they represent to many people around the world the forces of post colonialism, and the political will at home for such operations is low.
If you disagree then tell us why. If you agree, feel free to explain your own reasoning. I hope this becomes a rich discussion. Thank you for reading my text wall. If not... | An Army of the United Nations would be a voluntary international force under the banner and direction of the United Nations. It would be a fast acting police force aimed at quenching fiery conflicts before they create massive humanitarian crises. |
t3_1mbj3s | Advice | I think my mechanic is trying to screw me over. | I dunno if this is the best sub to ask, but /r/mechanics doesn't seem to be active enough to get a response.
I wanted to see if anyone else has ever encountered a problem like this.
Long story short, I needed to get a state inspection but my engine light was on, and you cannot get a sticker if that is the case. I take it to have it diagnosed and possibly repaired. After leaving it at the shop for a few hours I get the call and they say that my distributor gear is worn out, even though my truck runs completely fine. I ask how much, and they say it will be $325. I want a second opinion so I say I cannot afford it and ask them to get it ready for me to come pick it up. I pay the diagnosing fee, $50, and take my key and I am on my way. On the way to another mechanic that I know, I notice that my engine light is no longer illuminated. I decide to go to my usual guy that does my oil changes, and inspections, and I that I respect and trust and should have gone to in the first place. He changes my oil, everything is fine and dandy and I am on my way.
A week has gone by now, and the mechanic guy I know that recommended me to the first shop (he doesn't actually work there, he is independent and "knows a lot of people") comes by my work to tell me, "Dur oops! Guess what, those guys accidentally put in the new distributor and forgot! So, if you could just pay the remaining $275, or come back by and let them take it out, that would be great!"
I said let me think about it. I feel like he is full of shit. Has anyone else had something similar happen to them? If so, what did you do? Could I get in trouble for keeping the part and not paying, if they actually did replace it, even though I never authorized them to do so, and paid for services I agreed to and thought were rendered? | Mechanic claimed to have left a new part in my car by accident, even though I didn't tell them to replace it, now they want me to "pay up." |
t3_2lec6w | relationships | Help me [19F] stop being resentful over comments my BF [19M] made months ago! | Hi reddit, I've come to you with a relationship problem. My BF and I have been dating for 8 months, and he is by far my best relationship. He's caring, attentive, very kind and generous. However, I feel like a huge bitch in comparison because I am still very much resentful and self-conscious over things said about 4 months ago.
Basically, we were discussing trying to open up sexually with each other. (I have had one partner before him, whereas I am his first. He was very shy from the beginning with physical intimacy, we took things very slow) So I flirt-ily asked him if he's been wanting to do sexual things with me and he pretty much flat out says "not really, I haven't thought about it."
This took me aback quite a bit, and he then says that he hasn't felt sexual feelings for me. Now this really crushed my self-esteem, but the worst part is that I know he didn't intend it to..he can be very awkward with his feelings and deliver them in a less than nice way. (He blames it on never "talking to girls" before me). But what REALLY drove my resentment in place was the fact that the next day we had a conversation about porn/sex stuff and I find out that he is fucking obsessed with porn.
He said that he takes 2+ hours to look up and masturbate to porn, and that he checks out girls IRL all the time. All the while I'm sitting there almost crying because he basically has no sexual interest in me, apparently.
So here we are 4 months later, and I am still bitter at this. I've told him time and time again how much that hurts me, and he has improved. I swear, I really don't think he even watches porn anymore, he acts disgusted by it and swears up and down that he is sexually attracted to me in every way. I know he's not bullshitting me because he's cried his eyes out at what a "fucking idiot" he was for saying that, and he feels like he's let down my self-esteem (which he honestly did). | BF used to watch tons of porn and check out IRL girls, told me has "no sexual feelings towards me." I'm still bitter about it. |
t3_4bq0i6 | relationships | Me[23F] with my SO[28M] of 4 months, struggling with the distance | I've (23f) been in a long distance relationship with my SO (28m) for nearly 4 months. I overthink everything that he says/does and it's driving me crazy. I don't know what to do or how to get through this. We have an end date planned, but I keep thinking whether or not he really does love me or not and it's making me stress out over nothing. I'm scared I have all these plans and it's just not going to happen. We play games together/watch movies/just talk and I feel like sometimes he doesn't want to hang out with me at all, or I want to hang out with him more than he does. I feel so clingy and crazy and everything I'm not, just because of this long distance. It's driving me insane because all I see is negativity and I see no end. I don't want me being like this to cause him to drift away from me. Any advice to deal with the distance and not to overthink every little thing that happens, or doesn't happen? | Long distance is driving me insane, how do I deal with it to not make it so bad, and to also stop being so negative? |
t3_344y51 | Advice | I really don't know what I want to do with my education | Hello, thanks for taking time to read this.
So I'm a first year university student and I'm on the third term of the year now, and I have realized that I really dislike my course and generally have no idea of what's going on in it. I'm really finding a hard time even making myself do the work because I hate it and it's very hard. I realize at this point you may say I should just drop out, and find something else to do with my time, but this is where my friends are and I really like the actual uni itself.
Next year I want to change courses and study something different, but the university will not let me do the course I want without completing this first year of the course I am currently on, but that seems like a pipeline idea because I don't think I can pass these first year exams. | I don't know what I should do right now. I hate my course because I understand none of it so it seems pointless. I want your advice. |
t3_1yjs43 | AskReddit | How do you know if a person loves YOU or just the idea of settling down? | I (28F) know it probably sounds paranoid but I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
A friend (35M) who once told me that he always liked the idea of getting married and have his own little family. Lately he has been pursuing me. My immediate thoughts were, does he actually like me? Or does he go for ANY one that might want the same thing? How do I know that he likes me for who I am or he's just desperate for a relationship?
We've known each other for a few months now and he has always been really great to me, but again I thought, he could be nice to anyone that gave him the chance?
Is it weird? What's wrong with me? Does anyone else think this way? Married people, how do you know your partner wanted you, only you? | A guy who always wants to settle down is pursing me, how do I know if he just wants ANY relationship or am I something special to him? |
t3_y9php | relationships | How to get over a guy you didn't even really date | So it's been a while, and I still can't get over someone. The guy (m/22) and I (f/22) dated a few times and its been almost 2 years since then. ALMOST 2 YEARS! So yes, I am quite exasperated at this point.
We met right after I had been in a very draining relationship. We went on a few dates, and it didn't work out. I wanted time, and he had stopped liking me as well. That was that.
Well since then I've been in 2 very serious relationships, with guys I feel that I related to much more, and whom I feel like I would much rather be with (or at least the types of guys they are). So what I don't understand is why after all this time that I still have thoughts now and then about this random guy I went on dates with.
I'm not the type of girl who likes to hold on to the past, especially if its a boy. And though I have had good break ups and bad break ups with people I felt wronged me or I felt it just couldn't work out with, I still can't seem to forget this guy though I was very easily able to forget them after a while (3 months tops, some much less). I don't want to hold on to this person. There's absolutely no reason to. So reddit, what should I do? | It's been a year and a half since I went on a few dates with someone. Dated several people, even fell in love since then. Yet for some reason I can't get over this one. What to do? |
t3_vs8d0 | relationship_advice | [25/f] not sure if my [24/m] friend is interested in me as more than a friend, nor what to do about it. | We've been climbing buddies for almost a year now. He's in grad school, so when he's in school, we'd climb twice a month, and maybe see a show or something in between if he had time. He's out of school for summer. One week, he'll call me everyday and see if I want to hang out. Sometimes I'll say yes, sometimes no. He LOVES to show off at the climbing gym for me. He'll randomly grab my leg or my arm and say his hands are cold. If we go climbing in a group, he'll pull me into the weight room "to work out more," and all we do is lift weights or whatever. But he's super shy. He met one of my friends once and literally said two words - not an exaggeration.
I don't know if I'm reading too much into this, or, if not, if he's actually interested in something romantic but too shy to say anything. If it's the former, I'll just give up. I like him, but not so much I'm going to try and force something that isn't there. But if it's the latter, I would be more than happy to take him out of the friend-zone. Also, if it's the latter, do I just let it happen, or is there anything I can do to let him know I'm open to it? | friend wants to be more than a friend? if yes, how do I let him know I'm open to it? |
t3_v4mdf | relationship_advice | girlfriend has never been kissed | So my girlfriend of 1 month has never been kissed as indicated by the title. I on the other hand have, but my last girlfriend straight up told me to and i happily obliged. Reddit, please tell me the signs to look for to give her the best first kiss ever. Also how should I "go in" for the big moment? What events should lead up to it? Should it be in front of our friends on a group date or more secluded? I am a mess please help. Just a note we have only hugged and held hands nothing more besides talking and flirting | gf and i want to kiss. basically my first as well as hers. What do i look for to tell if shes ready and how do i go in for the moment. What events precede? |
t3_4r4g2m | relationships | How do I (19F) let my work friend (27~M) know that his crush on my best friend 20M) is unrequited because of the age difference? | My friend at work has a crush on my best friend. They both have so much in common it's scary, I know they would both be really good together. My friend from work has never talked to my best friend but he seems him all the time on my snapchat, Facebook and Instagram because we are always doing things together. The other day my friend from work added my best friend on instagram and they liked heaps of each other's pictures. This is the only kind of contact they have had with each other. My best friend, boyfriend (he works with me and knows this friend from work too) and myself all went to a bar. We were talking about this friend from my work and my boyfriend told him he can't remember exactly but this friend from work is between the ages of 27-30.
This really surprised my best friend and me. My best friend only turned 20 last month and said he would never date someone that much older than him. He said he regretted liking all his pictures on Instagram and didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Which is totally understandable. This thing is the more I interact with my friend from work the more he talks to me about my best friend. I try to avoid it but I feel really bad for him. We really aren't that close, but I know he's really sensitive about his age. I've tried asking his age and he wouldn't tell me, his birthday isn't on fb and he removed his name on the birthday list at work this month. Should I tell him my friend isn't interested in him or just keep avoiding talking about it until it goes away. If I do talk to him how should I go about it? We only message each other every couple of days or see each other for 10 mins at work; when we do talk online it's never anything deep but they are always nice conversations. The last thing he said though last night was (and he was drunk) you friend ____ is soo cute. I never replied to it. | my best friend isn't into my work friend now that he knows his age, they aren't very close and I'm not sure if i should tell my work friend or just leave it. |
t3_36ybij | relationships | I [25F] just found out my boyfriend [27M] and love of my life has been using a dating site while we have been together. | I [25F] had this sudden odd tugging feeling in my gut that my boyfriend [27M] was using OKcupid again (the site we met on a year ago). When we got serious I deleted mine completely and he only deactivated his. He claimed it was so he could go back and look at our old messages. Sure, whatever.
Well this evening when I had that tugging feeling, I made a quick profile and remembered his username and searched it. And there it was. With a new profile picture that I know was only taken a few weeks ago. Along with him being active as recently as today at 3 PM.
When I asked him why, he said he reactivated it when he and I got in a fight one weekend over a month ago and he thought it was over. I asked why he hadn't deactivated again since then and he said he "only gets on there once or twice a week to see what kind of people find him attractive".
I asked him why does it matter if he loves me? And I love him? Why would it matter who is out there?
He called me a drama queen and said I was being ridiculous.
I find this extremely inappropriate and I don't see how it isn't. I have ended the relationship. I refuse to be with someone that is playing the field behind my back, to see if something better comes along.
I feel even more stupid that I have been revolving my whole world around him because of how much I love him. We have been spending time, having sex, and he has been on this site looking at other girls, and I don't know but I assume talking to them as well.
I don't believe I am being overdramatic. I am deeply hurt and devastated. I can't believe he would go behind my back like this. | Had a gut feeling my boyfriend was on OKcupid again. Made a quick profile and was right. He calls me overdramatic. I am devastated. |
t3_2sllnw | relationships | Girl Slapped my Boyfriend (15M) Did I (16F) do Right Thing? | My boyfriend was at his locker and I was walking towards there to see him, and when I was like 15 feet away I saw this girl literally slap him right across the face. Then she like ran to her friends locker and started laughing with her friends and I went up to her and was like, uhh wtf? And she said calm down it was just a dare, and I punched her in the face. A teacher saw me hit her and she stopped me and took me to the office, I tried explaining what happened to the vice principle, he called the other girl down to the office and she tried saying it was just a dare/joke, and then I randomly came and "attacked" her. He took her side and I got suspended for 2 days, she didn't get suspended. I'm like tiny and have never been in a fight or got in trouble in my life until now, and she has been suspended multiple times I know for a fact. I got to the phone before my parents did when the school called, so they don't know but I don't know what to do about school tomorrow? I'd get in sooo much trouble if they found out I got suspended, I have never got in any sort of trouble whatsoever. Was what I did wrong? What can I say to my parents if they find out? And should I tell them or try hiding it, even though they'll probably be more mad if they find out from someone other than me? Please help. | A girl at school slapped my boyfriend as a "dare" and I hit her, a teacher saw and I got in trouble, she didn't. I'm suspended and don't know what to tell my parents. |
t3_2wlm85 | tifu | TIFU twice by shaving my nuts | I've been shaving my nuts for almost a year now and I decided it was time to shave my nuts sunday. While I was shaving in the shower I ran out of shaving foam, so there I was; a guy with his nuts halfly shaved. I finished showering, put my dress on and let it be for what it was. It was sunday so the shops were closed so I couldn't buy anymore shaving foam. A few hours later I found some shaving foam I bought at vacation. I totally forgot about it and I did never use it before. So I got in the shower for the second time and started shaving the other half which wasn't finished yet. As soon as I put the foam in it felt a little weird but I thought it would be okay so I just continued. As the time passed by while I was shaving, it began feeling weirder and weirder. It felt like there was a huge storm blowing against my nuts. It felt colt and freezing. As soon as I put it under the water to clean up the foam it started to burn like hell. When I looked at the bottle of shaving foam I saw it contained Menthol. That gave me the cold and painfull feeling. I dried myself, and put on my underwear softly because it was still burning like I put my balls in the fire. Even a few hours later it kept burning and burning. First I had half shaved nuts and now I'm walking like a pingiuin. Not shure which one was better. | TIFU twice by shaving my nuts with an almost empty can of shaving foam and a new can of shaving foam which contained Menthol. |
t3_1zltz2 | relationships | Me [21f] having trouble parsing interest/flirting/whatever from [21m] in tight-knit uni class | I am 21 year old, emotionally illiterate student at a small University in the Midwest, in a small faculty, in a small class of ~10 people, who spend 10-20 hours together on average per weekend. In the beginning people were all very incestuous, but eventually it calmed down when people realized that exes didn't just disappear. I've avoided the drama as no one who really interested me was in my program and focused on my studies and doing the best I could academically. Here, in my final year, I was chosen as team leader for my graduation project, but I am getting vibes from one of my friends, and it's grown into a distracting little crush.
According to a friend of mine, he showed interest in getting to know me better. At the beginning of this semester, we had our first real long conversation and began talking more frequently. On occasion I catch him glancing at me during class, and he often offers to lend me books, movies what have you. On certain occasions he's suggested we watch specific films together in passing. I feel bad because I've been really detached lately, worried for the most part about my thesis project
All of this seems fine and good in my head, and seems to give me the green light, but on occasion he runs hot and cold. In my past I've frequently "imagined" attraction where there was none and suffered a lot of heartbreak due to unrequited crushes. He's a genuinely nice, funny, and generous guy, so I'm thinking he might just be acting friendly towards me. I know if I try something and fail, I will be made fun of, probably by my professor.
____________________________ | Not sure if a friend in a tight-knit class is flirting with me or just being polite, not sure how to proceed. |
t3_1lmm2x | relationships | My friend[24F] and I[22M] are starting to get close, been about 1 week. I've got a question about the whole texting game. | I finally asked her if she'd want to go out with me, we'd been close for a while and one of her friends told me that she was starting to like me also.
We never really texted/messaged each other before, but I'd hung out with her at parties, and we got along great, and most of the time we'd just spend time alone with each other.
Now that I've asked her if she'd want to go out (we've got a date in a couple of days), should I be messaging her every now and again? I never did previously so I don't think I should now. She seems cool in that she doesn't really seem to be that way either
But is it expected of me to send bs like how her day is going, or whatever else? | Should I be messaging a girl now that we're kind of going out? I didn't before, but since things have changed, should I adapt to it? |
t3_1decai | BreakUps | My (22F) former SO (24m) has decided he loves me, but is still into his ex | I'll try to keep this short...
My boyfriend has this chronic problem of keeping this he's feeling inside, because of some crazy family issues from his childhood. So, when he asked me to come over I (22F) was really hurt and confused when I arrived with my stuff already in a bag by the door. He decided after a weeks contemplation that he was not completely over his exgirlfriend (they dated 8 months) because something he saw on facebook made him miss her. From what he communicated he thought it was unfair to me because he couldn't give me 100%, but that he loved me and cared about me deeply and that he already knew it was a mistake to leave me but didn't change his mind.
My thought process is this: My best friend used to constantly tell me "The best way to get over an old guy is to get under a new one." Kind of crass, but it keeps popping into my head. Why would you begin a serious relationship ( 4 months ago we began dating, 4 months after his ex and him broke up) only to decide you have feelings for your ex so much later? And how can you say you love me if you never stopped caring about her? At the same time, my ex (of two years, we broke up two years ago) just got married and I was a little jealous.
To my knowledge his ex is in a happy place, and I don't think he plans on getting back together with her. I think his internalizing of emotions processing really just translates into him thinking he's doing the right thing to sort it out himself. The biggest kicker os he continues to contact me about how horrible he feels like he has treated me, and how I've never failed to make him smile... it is driving me nuts.
So two questions. One) What can I do or say to him to help him know that I thought he was the One and that I want to help him work it out?
And Two) When do you really Know that you're over your ex? | I (22F) am flipping shit trying to figure out when you know you're over an ex to start a New relationship particularly with my confusing (24M) boyfriend. |
t3_2y8nmh | relationships | My [f22] friend [m30-something] changes the subject or leaves whenever I bring up my boyfriend. | (Resubmitted because 3am phone posting sucks)
Backstory: I work in EMS and a few months ago I got a new partner and we really hit it off. Nothing romantic - despite the reputation of EMTs and their notorious infidelity, I am in a very fulfilling relationship with my boyfriend, 40, and would never jeopardize my relationship.
After a few months I was assigned another shift but my buddy and I still see each other at work all the time. We have a similar sense of humor and enjoy the same interests and have talked about hanging out but life always seems to get in the way. However, recently I've noticed that when my friend and I are hanging out he avoids mentioning my boyfriend at all. When I mention my boyfriend's name in conversation - and I can't help it, we're best friends as well as boyfriend/girlfriend and do a lot together - he either changes the subject or just shuts down the conversation entirely. I thought I may have been imagining it until last night, when we were shooting the shit and I mentioned my boyfriend once and he immediately made an excuse and left.
I really want to hang out with my friend and spend time outside of work, but what do, reddit? I don't think I know him well enough to bring it up, and I can't tell why he's avoiding the subject. We've talked about his past relationships, they were all pretty fucked up and he's not currently seeing anyone. I really suck at reading people and I have like zero emotional skills, which is why my relationship with my boyfriend is so important to me - he doesn't play emotional games and is a very stable person. | guy at work I want to be better friends with shuts down conversations as soon as I mention my boyfriend. Why and what should I do? |
t3_3pqjfn | travel | A word of caution to anyone traveling from Munich to Austria! | Hey /r/travel,
Just a heads up to anyone in Munich planning on going to Austria by train or have plans booked soon: my wife and I are in Munich for our honeymoon, next stop Hallstatt after spending 3 enjoyable days in Munich. Last night I checked our train to Hallstatt (which I booked in August) to get platforms and statuses and such only to find out it was cancelled due to the Syrian Migrant situation. No notices, no emails, nothing, until 330am when I got an email saying it was cancelled (thanks...). Luckily there is exactly one train going from Munich today to Hallstatt or else our entire trip would have been finished. We also didn't get any money back for our booked fare of 58 euro, including trip insurance (information deal did not speak much English and with my understanding of her German we need to mail a form in and maybe we'll get something). We ended up paying 130 euro for a new ticket. Glad we overbudgeted! | check your trains from Munich to Austria ASAP, they might be cancelled with limited to no notice due to the Syrian migrant situation. |
t3_37f6x5 | relationships | How do you deal with being alone? | Hi Reddit, I am 25 years old, female and single. I am very new to dating (started when i was 22) and i had a very bad experience a year ago. After this experience i have no desire to date, do not find myself attracted to anyone and am not interested in getting to know anyone. I usually would only start talking to people that i've known for a while, and for the first time in my life i don't have a crush or anyone of interest. It's a strange, apathetic feeling. I haven't had sex in a year as well.
On top of this, i have 3 people in my life that i consider life long friends. Two of these people moved to Vegas (I live in PA), and the other has a boyfriend. The girl with the boyfriend basically lives with him and i hardly ever see her one on one. I'm lucky to see her once a week sometimes, she's very consumed with him. I barely even talk to her anymore. It's annoying and it hurts my feelings but I can't get mad since she had once accused me of doing the same thing when I had a boyfriend.
So basically to cope with being alone all the time, i started going to bars alone and drinking more just to be out of the house and interact with people. I found this to be an unhealthy habit and started staying in, but being home alone all the time makes the loneliness suffocating. The anxiety and depression that goes with this makes me stay up late, sleep in late, and feel lethargic and sickly throughout the day. I'm starting up healthy habits like going to the gym and trying to make the most of my days but nothing beats this gaping hole in my chest. | If anyone could offer advice on how a person afraid of men and people in general could get over feeling so alone i'd appreciate it. |
t3_30albt | relationships | My "crush" [18/F] said, "I love you" to me [18/M] while closing the door to my car this morning | So I was driving my friend to school today as I do everyday, everything was normal except we were a little later so we took a different route to avoid the bus. On the way she we talked about some minor stuff like assignments we had due and how tired she was. Something that does stand out in my mind is that she had made a comment about how she was wearing eyeliner to mask her read eyes (because she was so tired). Anyways we get to school and hang for a little while and then as she was getting out, while we were saying our usual goodbyes she said "I love you" then closed the door.
Ok so in a regular circumstance I would definitely ask her out, but this is no normal circumstance (of course.) You see we have been friends since I moved here and I don't want to mess up our friendship. Another thing is that she has a non-serious relationship with a guy a couple towns away, so as you can probably tell I'm pretty conflicted. | Female long-term friend of mine said she loved me but is currently in a relationship with another guy and may have accidentally said it out of tiredness. |
t3_2pkeae | offmychest | Got a grade I didn't deserve but I should feel happy about. | This was my first semester at college. I was taking 12 credits and I work 3rd shift full time. Now I thought I could handle both but I learned that I couldn't the hard way. I started off strong and determined to keep up with homework but as the semester went on sleep became more important. So I fell be hide in my classes specially English..
By the end of this semester I dropped one course and decided on a new major. Other than that it didn't change that I was missing two papers and all the other homework in English. Barely passing my other class I decided English was a lost hope and I focused on the other one. I grinded and got most of the work done ended up getting a B. I had perfect attendance in English I just never did the work and never talked to the teacher. I had given up hope. I was okay with taking a B and an F I deserved it for being so stupid.
But when I saw that grades were posted and that she had given me an "A" I literally refreshed and reopened up my transcript maybe 15 times. Couldn't even believe it I even made it on the Dean's list because I had an A and also a B making my GPA 3.5. I was super happy at first then when I talked to my friends also in the same class they got B's and C's I kind of felt bad. They did the work when I didn't. I couldn't even bring myself to talk about it. As far as they know I did all the work and it was fantastic. I don't want to tell my parents either or anyone else for that matter because they are happy for me and they would be disappointed otherwise. I don't usually post on reddit but I needed to rant and get this off my chest so thank you.
Btw. Have you guys ever been this lucky or have been through something similar? And if you did how do you cope with it? | First semester of college I didn't do my homework for English because I work full time 3rd shift. I should have gotten an F when she gave me an A for no reason now I feel guilty |
t3_l8l0k | cats | Please Help my lil guy, he's been wearing a cone for over 2 years (long but please read) | I adopted Chester in August of 2009 from a shelter when he was 4 months old. At the time he was wearing a cone because of a bug bite on his head that he had scratched up (or so I was told). Fast forward to today, he is still having to wear the cone because of repeated self-injury to his head (scratches till he bleeds and just keeps going, like he feels no pain). I've been to the vet more times than I can count, spent ungodly amounts of money, ruled out all possible physical issues (parasites, fungus, mites, etc), and still no answers.
He is currently on Atopica per vet recommendation, but after almost 6 weeks I haven't seen any improvement in his scratching. He also bites his back toes to the point of bleeding. He was previously on Gabapentin which helped for a few months and he didn't have to wear the cone, but then it stopped working. He's also now wearing sweaters because he had a reaction to a flea med on his back, which he then scratched the heck out of and left a scar. The only thing that keeps him from scratching the scar is wearing sweaters.
I really feel like this is a behavioral/OCD/self-injury issue, not a physical one. Does anyone have any suggestions of other meds or anything?? Other than this issue, he is the sweetest lap kitty ever, always by my side, loves to play, gets along great with my other cat. Thank you for reading, any suggestions are appreciated!!
pic: | My cat has been having to wear a cone for over 2 years because of self-injury to his head and toes. Tried almost everything to fix, any suggestions?? |
t3_500erk | AskDocs | [M27] 5'11, 175lbs. Girlfriend of 6 years did not tell me she had genital herpes until our 4th year together. She broke up with me last week. What do I need to do going forward? | Long story short, I dated a girl for 6 years and thought I would marry her (was just about to propose). About 4 years in, she told me (after many many instances of unprotected sex) that she had genital herpes; it had ruined her chances in past relationships, really hurting her, which is why she didn't tell me until then. We never clarified which type (HSV-1 or 2) she had. I was very torn, but ended up forgiving her as I thought I would spend my life with this woman. Now that she has just left me, which I'm completely fucking distraught over, I'm not sure what to do. I have had cold sores (HSV-1) since I was a kid, which are a pain, but I've never had a single outbreak of genital herpes (HSV-2) or any discomfort at all down there since we started having sex. I know having HSV-1 offers some resistance, but obviously there is still a risk. Anyway, what do I do? Is there an accurate test for this sort of thing? Should I clarify with her what type she has? I don't want to lie to future partners and I want to ensure I don't make the same mistake she made with me. Thanks. | Long term gf. Had genital herpes but never told me. Had lots of unprotected sex. I never had an outbreak. She just broke up with me. What should I do now that we're no longer together? |
t3_2tfi1q | tifu | TIFU by being lactose intolerant | As the title states I am lactose intolerant. However, I am able to consume MILD amounts of dairy without anything more than slight stomach pain.
Last night I was feeling good after killing half a bottle of wine so when my roommate asked if anyone wanted a pizza because he was getting one of course I said yes. So I get my pizza and eat half of it, I continue drinking with my roommates and having a good time while finishing the bottle. Later that night my inebriated mind thinks its a good idea to have a bowl of ice cream... I fall asleep and everything is surprisingly fine.
Five hours later (this morning) I wake up for anatomy and rush to class. I was feeling pretty good considering the night before and decide I am going to switch it up and sit somewhere different. The class is an auditorium with three sections, so I walk to the other side of class and see an empty seat between two girls, we'll call them Jenny and Carly. (I don't know their names nor will I ever...) Seconds after sitting down I fart the undigested dairy that has just been heating up in my stomach for hours, and let me tell you it was so awful that my eyes were watering. So I consider myself pretty witty, and quickly turn like half around and look behind me and make a face then turn to Jenny and under my breath mutter "Ugh, it fucking stinks"... My face was so red though I am pretty sure no one bought it. | Ate a ton of dairy, sat next to hot girls in class, the smell of rotten flesh escaped me and killed at least 4 innocent bystanders. |
t3_20191l | relationships | I [20 F] just feel numb, [he is 24] and I'm not sure if it's temporary or not [3 years]? | I'm just upset thinking about this and can't really sleep so I thought I'd seek insight and help.
Now sometimes I get like this.. Where I'm just sad in general and just feel nothing really. I'm not sure what it is. I've known him for 3 years, feel really strongly (I thought), but when I get like this I become kind of an asshole. We watch TV everyday and I sometimes take "breaks" from watching because I'm just upset and want to be alone. He doesn't get it and he hates it, but it helps a bit. I get extremely irritable and it starts an argument otherwise.
I haven't taken a "break" yet, but I'm feeling sad and numb again and it's not going away (maybe a month now). I feel like I don't even feel anyway towards him. I just **really** don't care. I feel bad that I feel this way, he hasn't done anything, but I'm not sure if it's an honest feeling, or something temporary that I will regret later. I have not been an asshole or anything, holding it in, but I need to fix something here before things get worse. I kind of want to be around him and watch TV, but on the other hand I just want to be completely alone.. For a long time.
Does that make any sense? Any help? I'll provide more info if needed. Thanks. | Sometimes I start feeling numb and I don't know if I really care about him. Is it an honest feeling or something temporary? |
t3_3t4atc | tifu | TIFU by telling my boss I'm attracted to the lady at the bar. | This actually happened tonight..
It was a slow night in the restaurant/bar that I work in. I noticed that their was a young, very attractive female sitting at our bar. As the night was going on, many employees were going up to her and talking to her. I find out that she used to work in the restaurant that I work in, as many employees know her.
Later on in the evening, Im talking to my boss and I say "Damn, that lady at the bar is smoking... We should re-hire her."
My boss then says, "Who? My wife?"
I thought my boss was joking, and called bullshit.
This is when he pulled out his phone and showed me pictures of the lady at the bar, and himself, at their Wedding which took place five days ago. | Attractive lady eating at my job, told boss I thought she was attractive, turns out to be my boss' new wife. |
t3_1dy6wb | relationship_advice | F(25) here, Love my boyfriend M(30) But he is extremely short tempered and rude to me at times. Need advice. | Hello,
I have been dating my bf for 9 months now. I love him dearly and have never had this type of chemistry or genuine connection with ANYONE.
There have always been a couple topics that set him off with me. Mainly, spending time together and his inappropriate contact with his ex girlfriend or other females. Side note: He has never introduced me and his ex but continues contact
I am a complete push over and NEVER follow through on threats.
He knows and acts like he can get away with anything. He has even gone as far to say " I know you are not going to do anything. You never follow through"
The latest thing we had an issue over is me trying to join in on a 18 person relay race that is taking place in over 5 months. Last year we had a hard time with it because he did the race with his ex girlfriend in the beginning of our relationship. I drove 3-4 hours away to surprise him at the finish line and he chewed me out and told me "he would not ruin her day and put her through meeting his new gf." So I went home. I was hoping to start getting in shape and though we could do it this year. I got all the info and asked if he could get me involved and in contact with the team to see if they need another girl. He lost his mind and started telling me I don't have control and I need to back off. The last thing he said to me was "that he was not going to do the race now. and if I did to leave him and his to out of it. and to find my own F@*king team."
I have been in realizing that That he flips at anything she is involved in and that he talks to me like this. I have a hard time "giving space" or "taking time apart" because I love him and I don't like that feeling of disconnect.
If this were not an issue this man is "the one"
but there is obviously something wrong
What do I do!?
How do I show him this is not okay and no one should be spoken to like that. | Boyfriend swears at me and pushes me away when I try to get involved in his interest. And some of these interest include activities with his ex girlfriend. Which he avoids me meeting. |
t3_17v3qr | relationships | I'm a 20 year old male, who is tempted to cheat on his 20 year old girlfriend of a year. I haven't and won't but hate the temptation. | First off, let me say I love my girlfriend to death, she is amazing, we are studying together and I visit her family almost every weekend. (moved to Europe to be with her) I don't want to cut it off at all, I plan on being together long term with her. But I always notice her friends, or when we go out how I'm attracted to other women. I know it is not so different from some other guys, but I'm stuck and feel so bad for fantasizing about hooking up with her friends or girls I meet. Any suggestions? | I think about cheating on my girlfriend (I know I'm a douche) I haven't, but hate the temptation |
t3_rjjk8 | AskReddit | Help me help my girlfriend with your stories of panic attacks and paranoia | Hey all,
My girlfriend is going through a really tough time right now, thanks to a couple of assholes in her past. We are at the same college, and she has a lot of negative associations with the place that have repeatedly triggered panic attacks. They are really upsetting, for both of us, and they happen as often as once a day on some weeks.
She is also experiencing food paranoia; she cannot leave her food in the common area of our house without worrying that someone has done something to it, so she can't eat it. She usually has to drink bottled water, and she absolutely cannot eat at the dining hall.
I try to be the best boyfriend I can, and I tell her that she is going to get better, that this isn't something that she will have to deal with for the rest of her life, but I can only do so much.
I'm hoping you fellas can help her out by sharing with me stories about difficult periods that you went through in the past, and especially how and when you got better. I read stories on here all the time where someone mentions that they used to have panic attacks. All I want is to help her realize that this isn't going to be the rest of her life. | Tell me your history of being screwed up in the head so that I can show it to my girlfriend and give her hope |
t3_2fvqac | relationships | I[24F] with a guy [24 M] been dating for a month, he told me he got bored of my face? | I was seeing a guy for a month, we went out approximately 8 dates. We were so attracted to each other at first. He was so sweet and respectful to me. He often talked about dating exclusively and then pufff.... One day he tells me he is not attracted to me because he got bored of my face? He told me that I was beautiful and liked my body but doesn't know how or why his feelings change suddenly. Just to clarify, we did not have sex.
Can someone please help me understand this? Does anyone experienced this?
I appreciate any advice! Thank you! | He was really attracted to me and then suddenly told me he got bored of my face? I need some help to understand this? |
t3_2tbvpa | tifu | TIFU by getting my mail stolen. Wait, it gets awesome. | Yes, this is a throwaway.
So, over the weekend, our community mailbox got vandalized and everything got stolen. We found out when the police called, stating that they have on record that a package that was delivered to one of the locker boxes was one of the stolen items.
My fiance was puzzled, and then when concerned. We're expecting, so we feared this was a shower gift sent by mail from friends or family out of state.
"Wait, let me check my Amazon orders."
Sure enough, I had a package.
Officer: "So what was stolen and what was the dollar amount."
"$14.00."
"Is that the value, or what it was."
"The value."
"What was the item?"
"Ummmm... So, this is where irony comes in. A set of lock picks."
Officer pauses.
"Lock picks?"
"Yes."
Fiance: "He's in IT Security and wants to pick our locks, see how easy it is, and find ones that are harder."
"Ooooookay. That's just great."
So now, somewhere there are a bunch of punk ass thieves who have new lock picks.
To make matters worse, I volunteer with the city and interact with the PD on a regular basis. I know a few of the cops by name, and they're good guys and gals. I run into them the following day at the convenience store.
"Thanks for making those shits we're trying to take down more effective." | assholes steal mail, take lockpicks ordered on Amazon. Crooks have better tools, friends at PD give me shit. |
t3_33qkc3 | relationships | My friend (21M) has become crazily obsessed with going to the gym and I'm (20F) truly sick of it. | My friend Kieran and I go to the same college and we've been friends for the past 3 or so years. Last summer he began going to the gym. It was all fine & dandy back then. Our conversations didn't center around his workout sessions, meal plans or his body. He was just a normal kid who wanted get in shape (/*get ripped*).
However in the past few months he has completely changed. This change was gradual but it has become a lot worse recently. I now cannot have a normal conversation without him referencing the gym or telling me about his workout session. I could be saying "i murdered your mother" and he'd reply "cool! reminds me of when I deadlifted (insert amount here) yesterday :)". I don't even like speaking to him anymore because he'll just basically tell me about his *gainzz* or w/e.
I have told him that I'm happy for him (and he has visibly changed too) but I also made it clear that I don't want to hear about it 24/7. He doesn't get it. I've asked our mutual friends about this problem and they agree that he's become a real dbag, but they don't think it's "that bad". They don't think he talks about it "24/7" but the thing is, he does talk about it nonstop when he's with me. This obviously makes me think he's trying to impress me. In fact I asked him "are you trying to impress me or what is this about?" and he just changed the subject.
At this rate I'm thinking about slowly drifting out of his life. I'm sick of him sending me gym selfies, I'm sick of him talking about protein shakes/chicken/cod and I'm sick of him thinking he's all that now. But he's (or was once) a pretty cool guy and I feel like I need to think about this carefully before taking the next step.
Is there ANYTHING I can do at all to save this dying relationship? | my friend has become an obsessed gym rat. as a result he has become obnoxious and don't want to put up with his shit anymore. i want to burn all his chicken and crack all his eggs. |
t3_29wf4m | relationships | I (30m) have never been the jealous type but I find myself being more than a little jealous when my girl (28) gets hit on and keeps talking to the guy... | OK so I've been seeing this woman for a while, bout 6 mos. We've been taking this kinda slow letting the relationship develop as they should. I know she cares about me its never in her words but her actions toward me speak volumes. She's a very attractive woman so I know of course there will always be interested men. This has never bothered me in any other relationship but I think it was perhaps because those other women would tell the guy to fuck off and never talk to them again. She doesn't do that though, she keeps talking to the guys on Facebook and texts. I don't have a clue what they're talking about but I know the guys intentions are to get with her.
So how can I get over this seemingly petty jealousy? She's the kind of person that if she wasn't that into me or didn't care I wouldn't have this place in her life so I'm not really worried about that I just don't know why I'm jealous or what I can do about it. Talking to her about it won't do anything but piss her off and make her question my trust of her. I do trust her and I don't think she's messing around or anything we spend almost every day and night together. So why am I still jealous? Someone help me out, you have my thanks. | I'm slightly jealous that my girl keeps talking to guys that hit on her even though she isn't really interested in them...*** |
t3_4vct4v | relationships | My (22F) boyfriend (26M) practically lives with four of his ex girlfriends. | So I'm not really a jealous person and I trust my boyfriend completely but this is really rough to deal with.
My boyfriend has a large friend group and he's dated many if not most of the girls in the group at some point. I am fine with hanging out around them and seeing them at parties but four of them recently moved into the house connected to my boyfriends. One of the girls was even a prospective romantic interest right up until the day he met me. He lives with 3 guys that are also part of the group (one of which is currently dating one of my bfs exes) so the girls are always going to be in and out of his house. He's also in a band with 1 of the girls and 2 of the guys and it's been decided that they will be having weekly band practices at the girls house. It bothers me that he'll be there often showing off his talents for women that were/still may be interested in him.
Now I've known for a while that they would be moving in but now that it's actually happening I find myself getting really anxious about it. I really do trust him but the fact that they'll always be around him when I'm not there and maybe even be alone with him is unnerving. He knows how I feel and he's being really great about it, he says if I lived with four of my exes that he probably couldn't handle it as well as I am. I just don't know how to deal with the anxiety it's giving me. How should I get over it? | 4 of my bfs exes are moving into the house connected to his and I'm getting anxious about it, how can I chill out? |
t3_3q3kmn | relationships | Me, [15/F], was told by my best friend, [17/f] that I can't date a guy [17/m]I am interested in(and who is interested in me) because she has a big crush on him. | My stomach has been in knots all day. My friend and I, Janessa, have been close for years. I've been hardcore crushing on a guy, Luke, for months and finally got the nerve to ask him out. It went really good and we've been talking ever since. Well, recently Janessa told me that I can't date him because she's had a crush on him for longer and it would hurt her if we saw each other. She said she would never do this to me and that I was being selfish for wanting to date Luke, as well as automatically assuming my interest in him wasn't that deep. Janessa promised she wouldn't date him as well because she knew I liked him. I kind of said "okay,' and left in a bit of a storm. Thinking back, I realised that she has had a thing with two guys during the period she claims she had a "big crush" on him.I really don't want to lose our friendship but I really want to see this guy.
Everyone has gotten vibes that he likes me as well, including Janessa. Can you please tell me what to do and say? This is an exceedingly awkward situation. | Long time best friend likes guy who likes me. She says I shouldn't date him because she likes him. I want to maintain both relationships and don't know what to do or say. |
t3_ij65p | AskReddit | Help with getting a job as a bar tender | I am currently a college student. I work full time at my university but I just plain do not make enough to keep up with rent, car payment, food, etc. And I'm getting loans out for school too. I won't be able to keep up with all this when school starts again in the fall. I depend on help from my parents a lot but I can't keep that up because I have a twin brother who my parents are helping through school too. I really need a second job and I heard bar tending can make you a lot of money in tips, especially since I live in a college town and we have a really good football team. I have always wanted to try out bar tending anyways but I am having trouble with getting a job. I've applied for bar backs among other positions because I know you have to work your way up. I also tried hotels but I'm not getting any call backs from anywhere. Is there any way I can stand out better for a position like this or any places that wouldn't seem like you would get a lot in tips but really do? I can go for any advice you can give. | I'm a broke college student looking for a second job, would love to do bar tending but I need help standing out since I don't have experience. Any advice would be appreciated. |
t3_27y62n | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] 1 month; feel like I hate the idea of her but love the reality of her, what do? | I'm in a conflicting bind, r/relationships, and it's making me feel like I'm insane.
This is, for all intents and purposes, my first actual relationship. I have never gotten past a second date with anyone else. I've had sex previously, but never without directly paying for it.
We been sort of officially "together" for about a month now. My confusion is that I feel like I love the reality of my girlfriend, but hate the idea of her; when she texts or calls me, I put on a friendly/happy face to respond, but internally I'm saying "let's get this over with, I've got stuff to do". When she asks if she can come over, I always say yes, but internally I'm thinking "give me space!"
But when she's actually there, with me, in front of me, all I can think is "I want this moment to last forever". When she's talking to me in person, I hang on her every word. We only part as our schedules demand, and it feels so lonely when it happens.
I'm trying to figure out what this means for me and her, why this is happening and whether it's a bad omen or just a step along the way. | When I'm with her, I never want her to leave. When I'm alone, I want to stay alone. Am I crazy, or is there a solution to this? |
t3_3vyvvd | relationships | Me [24M] with my GF[19F] of 10 mos, break it off or stick through rough spot? | So, we started casually dating summer of 2014 and become committed about 10 months ago. For the past few months there has been a continual problem with communication between us and a lack of respect on her part.
I try to be as straightforward as I can about my feelings and when/why things bother me and try to approach them in a respectful way and it almost always ends in an argument. We've recently decided to take a break to think things through and get a breather from the fighting.
Basically, I love this girl a lot and we had talks of moving in together but I don't know if working through our issues is with the time and effort.
Knowing that we both want to live in different parts of the countryand me wanting to have kids eventually/her disliking children, I don't see this being a long term thing.
So, is it better to end the relationship now due to lack of future potential, or put a lot of effort into fixing our problems for the sake of love? | me and gf have issues, don't know if they are worth the effort of fixing due to differences of life goals. |
t3_2lfol9 | relationships | I (20 F) freeze up when my boyfriend (23 M) tries to initiate sex | I never used to do it. At first our sex life was amazing. It wasn't just sex, it was more than that. I felt so close to him and I know he felt the same way.
Now, every time he tries to initiate sex I immediately freeze up, I can't control any of it. I hold my breath and experience anxiety. I get so frustrated and angry about the whole thing that I always end up crying and hating myself. Self injury has been frequent as well, due to frustration I assume.
I recently (2 months ago) "overcame" depression and anxiety but now I'm not so sure. I don't know how to pull myself out of this sexless slump. I feel so miserable about the entire thing and keep wondering why he's even bothering to stay with me (stupid, I know). I love him with all my heart and all I want to do is make him happy, but our sex life is literally the most miserable piece of shit ever. | I freeze up and hold my breath whenever my boyfriend tries to initiate sex. I love him (don't think I don't), so I don't know why this is happening. Help? |
t3_1vtqcf | relationships | A friend of mine [F16] is hinting at wanting to be FWB with me [M20]. Age of consent where I am is 16 but I'm dealing with the moral aspect of it currently. | Ok, to start off yes age of consent where I am is 16 and I realize this is ok legality wise.
backstory: I met this girl when I was in highschool I was a senior and she was a freshmen. We became friends and she had a HUGE crush on me, I let her down by telling her I was actually dating someone else... she took it rough but things were ok in the end, we stayed friends and she's been in multiple other relationships so I don't think emotions are the same issue they were in the past.
more recent: I'm just wondering if this is morally right. AoC is 16 here so legally it's ok, but I don't know if morally it's different. If we wind up deciding to be FWB I will talk to her about it before hand and make sure no emotions are involved and it's strictly platonic. Another thing I've taken into consideration is her maturity level, as far as I can tell so far we both can handle this like adults and not flip out about anything unless it's medically an issue. Again that being said I'm going to talk to her about that and make sure we're on the same page.
I'm just not entirely sure what my options here are and I'm a little nervous something will go wrong to effect something down the line. | A friend of mine wants to be friends with benefits, and I'm ok with that but I'm not too sure the moral side of me is ok with that. |
t3_3i6epi | relationships | Me [25F] am moving, having trouble with the new tenants who are moving in to the house I am leaving [60s? M&F] am I being petty? | I am moving on the 31st. Land lord called me and asked me if new tenants could start moving stuff into the garage. I said yes. For about a week straight they were at my house every day when I got home from work putting things into the garage. They were using power tools to cut/build shelves. They seemed nice and talked to me quite a bit. I went into the garage tonight and they had two mini fridges plugged in.
Is it petty for me to unplug them because I don't want to pay for the electricity?
Should Unplug them? Should I say something to them or to my landlord?
I should also mention I am just moving across the street so these people will essentially be my neighbors. | new tenants in my place have moved stuff in and are using electricity. Their lease doesn't begin until sept 1. |
t3_3d5h01 | relationships | I [31M] asked out my [26F] employee, got ambiguous response, may be going to hell. | I own a small local business, and was looking to take someone on part time to help with admin. A friend of a friend was looking for work, so I offered them a part time gig. (Un)fortunately, she turns out to be basically everything I have ever looked for in a woman: smart, funny, gorgeous, and apparently a much nicer person than I am.
We've been getting on really well; she's only supposed to work for me one day a week, but we've ended up texting back and forth practically every day about both work and non-work stuff. She often texts me out of the blue, but I honestly can't tell if she is showing an interest in me, or just being friendly. She is a very kind person, so she may just be that nice to EVERYBODY.
We've seen one another socially with friends several times, both before and after she started work. We're both single, and we're both into the same music, so I invited her to go with me to to a local one-day festival. She responds with "that's an interesting proposal", and... changed the subject. She is still being charming, making jokes etc, but I get the impression I've crossed the border into Creepy Town, Population: Me.
I'm fully aware it's really neither sensible nor appropriate to ask out an employee, but all the biggest regrets in my life are the opportunities I've not taken. If she's not into me then I respect that, but I'd like to remain friends, and for her to feel comfortable working for me if possible. She doesn't deserve having to put up with a jerk, even if it's me. | asked out super-friendly employee; she calls it "interesting proposal" and changes subject. Am I an idiot, and is there any way to fix it? |
t3_2o6yu5 | relationships | Me [17M] with someone I went out with twice, [18 F] I don't think I'm attracted to her even though she's great | So there is this girl that I went out with twice. Actually we sat and talked and had some laughs for like 30 minutes once and then we went on a movie the second time. After the movie we also talked and the conversations really went great. She had fun and I had fun and I enjoy talking to her. But...
I'm not sure she is my type. Both physically and personality-wise. As for personality it's obvious I must wait until I make such decision, but I think I'm not physically attracted to her. My friends say she looks good, and I'm really not one to just care about the looks but seriously there are girls that attract me way more. She isn't off putting to me. Just not it.
Do you think I should go out with her a couple more times and decide, or is physical attraction not something you build up over time?
Thank you for your help :) | I went out with a girl and we hit it off and both had fun, but I'm not physically attracted to her. Can that change over time, or should I move on? Thanks. |
t3_3s2x7l | askwomenadvice | Do you think she [??/f] likes me [21/m], or is she just being friendly? | She sat next to me when she could have sat somewhere else. She flicked her hair towards me on many occasions... it smelt really nice. She also looks at me with one hand under her chin smilling at me.
After the class she asked which way I was going.
The following week we had this 2 hour session, and during the break I went to the loo. When I sat back down she was looking at me, so I looked at her and she gave me a flirty "finger wave".
The lecturer saw and said "Oi you two, get a room!"
Does she like me or not? | ! Not too sure if this girl likes me or is just being friendly. She's done a few things that make me believe she does, but I can never be too sure! |
t3_2j3v8l | tifu | TIFU by having a cold | Hi reddit...
Unlike many other posts, this happened exactly 20 minutes ago,
I was going home after a tiring day of work all though I was sick, I went anyway because a man got to do his earning somehow, so here is were the fuck up starts , I own an motorbike and my work place is in town , so I had some snot/slime in my throat , I have no idea how you call that, and it's fucking disgusting so I gagged it out of my throat and kept it in my mouth and I was like, okay Mike , 2 minutes ride ,maybe less and ill spit it out when I'm out of town,so everything was perfectly fine for 1 minute and I was almost was out of the city and I see a familiar face walking right next to my lane , he sees me and says hi , so I brake and stop next to him, and here is the part where the ground fades away underneath my feet , my fantastic brain commands my mouth to spit the snot/slime out so I can talk to him, and I , the smartest guy on earth spit my friend in the face... So there we stand , me with a terrified look on my face and he... well he had a couple of grams of snot/slime dripping downwards from left of his nose to his mouth , I was in complete shock , so I said an "I'm really sorry.." and I ran away with the motorbike, probably reached 150 km/h , as soon as I got home I had to post this, because I have ABSOLUTELY no idea how I'm going to make up for this guy...If Reddit ever loved me, this is the time to prove it and help me out of this shitmess... | I have a cold , have snot/slime , spat a guy to his face around 2 grams of snot/slime while trying to talk to him |
t3_28t4rw | askwomenadvice | BF (34) has weight gain, and I'm (44) no longer attracted to him. | My bf was in great physical condition when we met. In 10 months he's gained 50 pounds and lost the muscle he'd built. He stopped going to the gym, or getting exercise at all. And prior to his getting in that shape, he was what doctors would call obese for five years or so, so I worry he's heading there again. We even talked about that in the beginning, how much he never wanted to be like that again.
He's 6' and a big framed guy, and I'm only 5'3" with very small bone structure, and I weigh about 115-120. Now when his body meets mine, I feel like I'm being bulldozed. I'm smothered. It's getting difficult to have sex. And we had an incredible sex life til now, the best ever. Different positions don't help much and seeing him naked doesn't do what it used to. Knowing his doctor told him he needs to lose it for health isn't helping.
I love him very much, more than I've ever loved anyone. I don't think there is a better man out there, he is the best. And we have talked about the weight gain, and he knows how it's affecting us but he hasn't made any real effort to get healthy again. He has said he doesn't see me look at him like I used to, and he's right. Yet I don't want this to be a thing that breaks us up.
The advice I need is... is there a way to deal with just no longer being attracted to your siginicant other? | I'm no longer attracted to my bf because of his rapid weight gain, but I don't want to lose him over it. How do I work around it? |
t3_37dmxu | relationships | Me [26 M]with my Girlfriend __ [21 F] I'm an asshole for thinking this way. Girlfriend of one year | [me M 26][F 21]So this all started a couple of days ago. I've been freaking out about my SO's past sexual history. I've known for ever that she has slept with more people than me.she told me that I am the best she has ever had and that she really didn't enjoy the sex before she just did it because she thought that what sex was. I wasn't a virgin when met and I also have a child where she does not. I don't think she is a whore or anything.
I just think about it and freak out. I love her and just wanna stop thinking about it. How can I go about doing that? Please reddit. I don't want a breakup. I love her so much. I see it hurts her because I've been sad and distant over the past few days. | I feel bad because my girlfriend has had more sexual partners than me./ how can I make myself stop feeling bad about the past? |
t3_35sp5p | personalfinance | [ADVICE] SO wants to go chapter 7. | Her debt is 23k US$ without her car loan (7k). So 30k total.
1) I need financial advice, not relationship advice.
2) I have a lot of money and a good job. I could make her debt disappear, but she doesn't want to feel like she owes anyone anything. But she is being screwed by her insurance so I don't want to pay off what she doesn't need to pay.
3) She was insured, but her own insurance company said they didn't get paperwork (she's sent it twice) of her son's birth so they won't pay anything. (I can show you pictures of the kid. He's real, and he's real loud). It's even more maddening because this is from a hospital we both work at. They send their employees to collections without a blink of an eye.
(Bonus) She was even in a union, which did nothing. You couldn't even get anyone to call you back or help. Local rep and state.
Money well wasted.
Sorry for ranting. But we just want some help. | SO wants to file bankruptcy. I can easily pay her debt, but should I? She was insured but they won't pay. |
t3_4f4xll | relationships | My[30M] GF[25 F] of 1+ year has recently started saying "you can do better". We're currently taking a break so she can figure out what she wants. Am I being dumped via Cosmo flowchart? | I have a GF that who I've been with for more than a year, as cliche as it sounds I was certain she was the 'one' about 3 months in. Everything has been going great until relatively recently where she has started saying that I can do better. I try to reassure her that she's what I want but she makes a joke about breaking up and letting me find someone better and I drop the subject. Recently, this has gotten more and more frequent and last week I cornered her into a conversation to discuss what was wrong.
She started off describing how she thinks I can do better, talked about how she's not sure if she can see herself with me long-term, explained that she really enjoys our time together, but feels it's unfair to me to keep me in this relationship.
After a very long conversation (more or less repeating these points), she says she's giving me the freedom to find someone else while she takes the time she needs to figure out what she wants.
I feel like I've just been dumped via a breakup flowchart (mainly because I've used these lines nearly verbatim to dump other girls before her and she said that we should **be friends** and get lunch no matter what happens). | LT GF keeps saying that I can do better. Finally talked about it, and now we're on a *break*. Did I get dumped via cosmo breakup script? |
t3_hgxrc | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, how do I make this work? | I've seen some stupid AskReddits like this hit front page to embarrass the poster, I hope that won't happen.
I met a girl recently via a friend and facebook (lame so far? good, it gets worse) we've had a few interactions via the same method and she seems to know her memes and a reasonable degree of humor. She is very attractive and I'd like the opportunity to ask her out, the problem lies in that I've only met her once, briefly.
Which means that the only method I have of interacting with her (ugh) is facebook. How would you play it to give yourself the opportunity to further a possibility of a friend/relation-ship? | Mutual friend on facebook is awesome girl, want to ask her out but don't have her number or balls enough to use facebook. Need to know how to handle it like a boss. |
t3_3bfg2e | relationships | No idea what to do with My BF[22 M] and myself[20 F] | Ok so ill try to explain as much as possible about what is going on.
i am with my BF 4 months already , we live in America and i love him.
he is about to move to Germany for 2 years in about a month for his career plans.
the problem starts here,i am sure i cant handle long distance relationship and i'm sure he won't handle it too and will cheat on me.
so i was sure i'm going to break up with him so i sighed to a dating site and met a guy[20 M].
i talked with this guy a lot and after a week we met and we kissed .
i was sure i'm going to break up with my current BF this Saturday but i ended up at his house having sex with him.
and now i really don't know what to do ,i'm sure i cant handle the long distance relationship but i cant break up with him because i love him.
but i know ill have to break up with him eventually in a month,please any suggestions? | I'm going to break up with my bf in about a month and i met a new guy but i cant break up with him because i love him! |
t3_faw9m | relationships | GF not over ex's and sent suggestive pics to one of them... advice? | I'm 25 and my gf is 22. We started as a long distance relationship but she moved to my location about 7 months ago. We've had a good relationship and I have given my all to her. I've really went out of my way in this relationship and have done all I can to make her happy. We spend almost all our time together. I thought she was the one, but a few things over the course of the relationship bothered me. She would mention her ex boyfriends semi-regularly and sometimes expressed interest in them. They both cheated on her and that is why they broke up (this is what she told me). I've kinda suspected that she still had feelings for her ex's but I've just let it go for the most part.
Fast forward to today. She is away to her hometown on a family emergency. I gave her a computer a few months ago and she left it. I do the morally **WRONG** thing and open up her email. I know it is terrible. Well, I find an email she sent to her first ex 3 days ago saying something to the effect of *'even with this distance I still can't get over you.'* I look back at New Years in her email and I found she sent two somewhat revealing and suggestive pictures of herself to another more recent ex boyfriend.
Any advice? My thoughts are that I don't think I can trust her again. And if I bring it up to her, she wont be able to trust me because I looked through her email... what kind of relationship is that? But then again, she technically hasn't cheated and she might have no intention to. Maybe it is something she would grow out of? | Found two emails sent from my gf to her ex's, one saying they she still isn't over him, and another email to a more recent ex containing suggestive pictures of her. |
t3_xc1up | AskReddit | How do I make this long distance relationship work? | Hey reddit, this is my first time so be gentle.
So I have been going out with this guy for about a month now. We were pretty good friends before so it wasn't long after we made the relationship official that we said our first "I love you"s. He is the nicest person I've ever met and I would love to stay with him for a long time. Everything would be going great if not for one small problem. A week ago he moved almost 3000 miles away.
He and I have been trying the long distance relationship thing and aside from missing each other like MAD its been going pretty well. At first we figured we would visit but I'm just about to start college and he doesn't have a job where he lives yet so paying the $700 for a plane trip when we both have very busy schedules is a bit much. Because he realized it might be months, maybe even a whole year before we are able to be in the same room he started to talk about giving up today. Both of us were very upset by it and neither one of us really wants to end it but we're unsure of what to do.
He can't move back here because of family issues and I certainly can't go there because like I said I'm just about to start school. I know it's a shot in the dark but if anyone here can help in any way it might just make this easier. I really want to get through this with as little pain as possible and hopefully the relationship in tact. | boyfriend just moved SUPER far away and its too expensive to visit. We want to stay together but don't know how to make it work. |
t3_y8qg7 | relationship_advice | [15/M] My first girlfriend (14/F) recently expressed her hatred of beards. I love beards, and it has been a goal of mine to grow a thick, bushy beard for several years now. | Let me provide some backstory. This girlfriend lives around 1600 miles away from me. I'm a socially awkward 15 year-old who spends most of his time online. I had never had a girlfriend until around 3 weeks ago when a 14 year-old girl (about 6 months younger than I) that I'd been online friends with for a while and developed feelings for expressed her feelings for me. We've been dating since.
Anyway, for many, many years, I've loved beards. I don't know why, but I just think they look cool, and ever since I started growing facial hair I've been fond of pretty much every aspect of having a beard: The warmth it provides to my face and neck area, the feeling of running my fingers over it, etc. But I digress.
While talking with my girlfriend, she mentioned how she hates beards. I don't blame her for hating beards; I know it's not her fault, just as loving beards isn't my fault. But obviously, there's a conflict here. I have a deep-seated passion for beards and want *so bad* to grow one and have a beard of my very own, and she hates beards and wants me to shave what small, budding beard I've grown thus far. There's no compromising there. Either I give her the finger and grow a beard - not happening, at least not the "give her the finger" part, 'cause I'm not an asshole - or I give in and start shaving regularly.
I'll be happy to edit with any more necessary details, so if you need to know anything else, feel free to ask in the comments. I look forward to your advice.
Oh, one last thing: Just in case it makes a difference in your answers, I'm going to be linking this to her. | Pretty much what the title says. I have a ridiculous passion for beards and yearn to have one of my own, but my girlfriend hates beards and wants me to start shaving regularly. |
t3_4ebwkl | personalfinance | Employer taking company vehicle away which was given as part of my wages. | So as of last week we (myself and 2 others) were notified that the company is taking away our company vehicles which we drive m-f for work purposes and they are to become pool cars for the office.
These cars were given to us as part of our compensation for our job which was traveling sales 100% of the time. As of January there was a layoff of around 30 people due to market conditions and as an alternative to being laid off we were given a new position which requires 30% travel. Now I must travel 45 miles a day which comes out to 225 miles a week on my personal vehicle. So by using the IRS figure of .575 per mile is it correct to assume a total figure of $129.375 divided out by 40 hrs per work week that I would be taking a pay cut of $3.23 per hour?
If so is there a good approach for asking for better compensation for my work and efforts? | Company is taking my work car and now I am making less money as a result and would like to know if it's worth asking for more money. |
t3_436t6c | relationships | I [21M] feel extremely angry (and aggressive) to people who have been trying to help me..this is a recent thing and it's only gotten worse. | I'm not saying I feel actively violent..just IDk.
I hear people (on the internet, who have never seen me) talk about how I'm a normal person and I'm not unattractive. That I'm a normal looking human being who "PROBABLY TOTALLY HAD PEOPLE ATTRACTED TO YOU" at one point and it makes me so angry I...
It became a problem recently when the only friend at all I have made here at university (we take all of our classes together so that I can drag him through because he's so totally lost so if you're company hires him you can thank me for creating a *completely* incompetent bachelor holding 'programmer') made a comment earlier this week when we were talking. I don't remember exactly what brought it up why I don't shave or cut my hair or dress decently and I'm like "Look I'll look like shit no matter what so that's why I don't do it"
And the response was basically "Man you can't say that shit to me because I actually put a lot of effort into my appearance and dress well and shit anyone will look good if you try" And then goes says that I probably don't look as bad as I think...
I didn't really say anything but I was so angry at that moment ..I'm not really sure what I wanted to do but I was angry.
It's extended to more things because I was in an argument (of course online again) where I finally said (typed) that I don't think that someone who was attracted to me should...be around because they're obviously more fucked up than I am...I'm not sure if I actually think that but I did at the time.
I'm not sure if I can bring this up with my therapist because I'm not sure if it's going to be taken as "I need to be institutionalized immediately before I blow something up" So I'm not sure..what to do. | I've been feeling aggressive and extremely angry at anyone talking about my appearance in a non-negative manner. And I feel angry at anyone who might possibly in the future might say anything about it. |
t3_3z5x0q | relationships | Should I, [23F] ask out my Japanese co-worker [25 M] with whom I've been working together for 5 months? | So I moved to Japan at the end of July 2015, and have been working in a school as an Assistant English teacher ever since. When I first arrived I'd had a boyfriend (we dated seriously for four years) but we fought a lot and we broke up in October. I was already developing feelings for my co-worker by this point but I thought it was just "grass-is-greener" syndrome so I mostly dismissed it. But it's already been another 2 months and I can't stop thinking about this guy. So I think that it's not rebounding at this point.
Communication with co-worker dude is an issue. We chat for a few seconds at a time at work once nearly every day. He will almost never initiate a conversation unless he has to. I am always the one to say "good morning" first. However, as an English EFL teacher, perhaps he feels the necessity to ONLY talk to me in English and refuses to use Japanese when he doesn't know how to say something. This is despite knowing that I am nearly fluent in Japanese. He takes forever to respond to any messages I might send him if he responds at all. This despite how he's texting others all the time. I might message him once in a two /three week period if I have a question about something so it's not even a huge amount that requires a lot of attention.
His behavior towards me leads me to wonder if:
* A) He's just shy and still warming up to me
* B) He's not interested and doesn't know how to say so
* C) I'm reading his behavior wrong because of culture differences
I am well aware of the pitfalls of dating a co-worker and I know that I am mature enough to do my job just fine even if things don't work out. Should I go for it? And how should I proceed if I do? | I'm not sure how to interpret my foreign co-worker's behavior towards me but I have a crush on them and want to know if, based on his behavior, it's a good idea to proceed and try to date him. |
t3_26d2g5 | relationships | My husband [m/21] and I [f/21] have been married now for four years, and I'm having trouble finding things that we both genuinely like to do together. | Like the title states, I am having trouble finding things for us to enjoy together, and it has become extremely frustrating.
I've asked to do things with him now on a few different occasions, and I can honestly say that the last thing that we did alone together was going to dinner on our anniversary in August, and that was a bad day because my cat had recently scratched right down the center of my eye, so I couldn't see much at all, let alone enjoy our time together.
Recently I have asked him to go see Godzilla (I'm about to go on my own because I freaking love that series), to dinner alone at one of his favorite restaurants, to the mall so we can both find nice clothes for ourselves, and even to go workout with me so we could motivate each other. No dice.
Honestly it isn't even an issue so much as I just want to be *alone* with him. We have lived with another couple since we have moved to his current duty station (about a year and a half ago), and before that we lived with his grandparents (since day one until this duty station). In all of our four years **we have never lived alone.**
Nope, not even once.
Honestly, how do all of you guys get your spouses to do something with you?? My birthday is coming up, and I honestly just want alone time with him, but he insists that I invite my friends and family. | My husband is almost reluctant to spend quality time alone with me, and always has an excuse. We haven't lived alone in the whole four years that we have been married. |
t3_f5umq | books | Kindle 3 - Reboot issue resolution. A.K.A. - Free upgrade to lighted cover. | My fiancee and I both got Kindle 3s recently and we've had some problems where it started to reboot heavily. At first it wasn't a big deal, but it later became quite the issue. Like many folks, we went ahead and got the 35$ case from Amazon (that's really quite nice) and tried upgrading the firmware, factory resets, etc. all to no avail.
Enter finally calling Kindle support (Who were awesome as well, and spoke fluent English [Read: Not a call center in India or China ]) and once I informed them I'd tried upgrading the firmware and let them know about the case/kindle combo, they immediately refunded me for the case. Apparently, there's a problem with the non-lighted case that causes Kindle 3s to intermittently reboot... Not only did they refund the cover, they went ahead and gave me a 25$ credit toward a lighted cover.
So basically, the cheaper cover has a problem with the contacts/book hooks that can cause the Kindle to reboot. The solution, if you like the cover, is calling Amazon for a painless few minutes and a free upgrade to the lighted cover. Poked one of my friends with a Kindle in another state and he mentioned he'd had it reboot a few times for no reason, so I figured it was probably widespread enough to merit being posted here. | If your Kindle 3 has the 35$ case and you have issues with it rebooting randomly, call Kindle Support for a free upgrade to the 60$ lighted case. |
t3_3wae84 | relationships | Me [27/F] don't like my husband's [30 M] dog | First of all I am actually a dog lover but only like smarter breeds like golden retriever , german shepard. My husband has always liked bulldogs which honestly I find ugly, stupid and useless. When we were dating I didn't really see it as much of a problem because that dog is friendly and he's harmless and I do like typical dog behavior like begging for attention, licking me and following me around.
Now we are living together and some of his behavior is starting to annoy me. First of all that dog is a huge 80lbs dog and I'm only 100lbs. Sometimes it jumps up to greet me and I find that annoying. My husband would always tell him off and ask him to stop and that stops it but it doesn't seem to have much of a long term memory and will do that again. Also that dog has always slept in bed and I find it hard to have good sleep with him in bed. I woke up more than 4times last night finding it sleep between me and my husband leaving me with no blanket. When it sleeps across the bed I couldn't stretch my legs, and it makes the bed way too warm and i prefer my bed cool when I sleep. Also that dog smells and slobbers and stuff dripping out of its eyes all the time and I find that gross. It also farts a lot and stinks up the whole room. I hate waking up in the middle of the room smelling bad dog farts.
I addressed my concern with husband and he says he will not let dog in bed so that's good. But I feel like I just dislike bulldogs in general and I can't imagine having to live with that kind of fat lazy thing for the rest of my life. But my husband LOVES bulldogs, he got him after his first bulldog died and I guess he would want a new bulldog after this one dies. We are planning on having a baby next summer and I'm scared of the idea of getting pregnant while having this 80lbs dog jumping on me sometimes. He is my husband's baby tho and he said I'm the only thing in the world that he loves more than this dog. what should I do/say? | I don't like husband's big ass bulldog and my husband loves him. I don't want to live with one forever and don't want a baby with this dog in the house. What should I do/say? |
t3_3ggjdj | relationships | Am I being unfair to my friends? (f 20) | From what I've been told, I should treat my friends all the same.
And when I did, that got me in trouble. (At least when I treated the guys and girls the same)
I'll get to the main point, I care about my friends ALOT.
And obviously in life, you will be closer to some and not so close with some. I find that my friends in university are more understanding and connect with me much better compared to the ones from high school.
Is it unfair to say that I do treat them both differently? I mean in the sense that I would do much more, and go out of my way to see them and make effort for the university friends but not as much for my highschool friends?
I mean, I'm open to people being honesty and telling me I'm a b*tch if I am - but it's just I treat my closer friends better.
I am still there for all of my friends, but just that I am willing to go for an extra mile for someone when they have done the same for me.
Thanks :D | I treat friends from university better than highschool friends because they have been with me through thick and thin. But my highschool friends haven't. |
t3_4x6qmg | relationships | My [23F] father [60M] suddenly wants to uproot and move to the USA Northeast | The past year my father has tossed around moving once I graduate university. I love my dad but he is full of crazy ideas and he's extremely stubborn.
I just graduated college and my dad is GungHo about moving North. I live in Florida and so does my entire family. My dad doesn't really keep in touch with his family but they all just moved down here, my mom's family has been down here for 20+ years. My mother has had a job at the same place for 18 years, and my father has been working in a chain store for 10 years. Now that my dad is 60 (mom will be there in two years) he wants to take my mom and move up North and get a cabin in the mountains.
Now that he's getting super serious about this, I started to confront this desire. I've pointed out the fact that he's 60 and will not want to be shoveling snow and dealing with ice all over the place. I've reminded him that everyone we know lives in Florida. My parents do not have much of a retirement fund to cash in, so they would still need to have some kind of work. And to top this all off, my mom absolutely does not want to move.
My father is extremely stubborn and is not listening to us. He thinks he's 20 and he'll be outside with a snow plow, he's confident they can find new jobs, and he thinks everyone will visit them out there.
Now that everyone is out of the house, my parents want to downsize. We are trying to find my parents a new place in the area, but my dad keeps shutting everyone's ideas. How do I help convince my dad that this is not a logical decision and it is not fair for my mom? (Or myself and my sisters. No one wants regularly travel out to the middle of nowhere when we can see them on a weekly basis with our current situation.) | My dad wants to move up North and is not thinking it through. Mom doesn't want to go. But they need to downsize and dad isn't helping with this process. |
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