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t3_sg5g8 | AskReddit | How to save my relationship? | I'm really hoping reddit can help me. I have been super stressed out lately trying to plan my wedding, switching jobs, and moving. Meanwhile my fiance has been super stressed at work, working 12 + hour days and coming home enraged about work and taking it out on me. I know we are both stressed and he says he isn't worried about the relationship because these problems are temporary and things will calm down come June. He has no doubts about our future. Problem is, I do. I am not happy just waiting out this stressful time. And I'm scared it won't pass. I am having doubts but if I bring them up, my fiance gets mad about it. Like I'm not as good as him because I am not confident in our relationship. We love each other more than anything, but this stress is getting to be too much and I don't know what to do. So my question to reddit is how should I proceed? How do I make this work? | fiance and I both super stressed. I have doubts about the relationship, he doesn't. Are my doubts real or just stress-related? What do I do to make it go away? |
t3_4ngh7t | relationships | My [16 M] Girlfriend [16 F] wants to take a break because of stress. | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
My girlfriend of 6 months is a jockey, and rides horses at a stable almost whenever she is given the chance. It isn't in the middle of the day though, she wakes up at 5 am to go riding and is usually done at about 12, so she is extremely tired afterwards. We go to the same school, but we would always see each other a lot outside.
Would.
Two weeks ago our "study break" began. It is basically what the name implies, a break before before and in between the exams where you have as much time as you need to study.
The only problem is that she has since started to train every single day. Now my girlfriend is VERY independent, to the point where most things she does best alone: studying, cooking, even when she is sick is she best alone. On top of that, she is pretty much an overachiever and has to focus 100% and something when she is doing it.
Prior to the study break, we hadn't seen each other a lot outside of school compared to earlier. We would mostly make plans, and she would normally cancel them because she was busy.
I was getting pretty tired of her shit, so I called her and arranged to talk, which we did today. I went over to her house and when we started talking she broke down. She explained everything that has happened, basically how stressed and busy she is because of training and parents being out of the house and how she has felt bad about it.
I am really on the opposite end, where I am willing to do anything so we can fix this; I even offered to kind of live with her and go grocery shopping so I could make food for when she get's home from training and study with her, but she declined because "she does that best alone".
She told me that she feels it's best if we take a break until she isn't so busy with studying, training and every household chore, and I don't really know what to think about this. Isn't there any other solution? Neither of us want to let go or break up. | Girlfriend is stressed and busy, can't give me the attention she wants to, says we should take a break until she can sort everything out. Don't know what to think. |
t3_35pi2y | relationships | My husband and I [mid 20s F/M] may be moving in with his brother [late 20sm] for a few months. Duration is 4 years of me knowing the brother, and 2 years of marriage for husband and I. How can we make this work well? | We live in a very high cost of living area. My husband and I are moving at the end of the month either to Brother's house [let's call him Gino] or a new condo depending on job stuff.
Gino has a bedroom we can use and is an hour from husband and I's current jobs. We also come from a culture where it isn't strange to live with family when married or in your 20s. Collectivist I guess?
Anyway, how the fuck can we make this work? I figure we pay Gino's mortgage as he is doing us a favor and his mortgage is 75% of our current rent. So, we are actually paying less living cost even if we pay the mortgage. I also figure we can hire a house cleaner.
Anything else we should do? With random roommates it isnt about sustaining a relationship... If theyre an asshole, you can fight it out. You share a lease. You are equal.
This guy shall be my husband's brother for the rest of their lives. We will be seeing him monthly at family gatherings plus holidays. Plus he is nice to hang out with, my husband kinda has no friends and I love to see him socalize with people besides me.
And it is his house. It is his rules and stuff vs with roommates you make rules together. So, yeah... I havent lived with family since high school so this is all very new to me.
Anyone else is married and living with a sibling in law? | Husband and I may move in with his brother for a few months. How can we make this work? He is family, and I dont wanna upset or burden him. |
t3_ai5f2 | AskReddit | Reddit- how do I get my boyfriend's friends to like me? | So, my (long distance) boyfriend and I have been going out for a really long time, but there was a break in the middle of our relationship, Summer 2009. Before then, I would make up all these crazy things and get in fights with him for absolutely no reason because of my insecurities. This summer, when we were broken up, I realized exactly what I was doing and that I missed him, and now we're together.
Obviously my boyfriend's friends hate me and think I'm crazy, because my boyfriend and I used to spend HOURS just arguing, but not anymore. In addition to that, I am two years younger than him, and the impressions they all got of me when we were going to the same high school, years ago, was a much more immature and stupid version of the person I am today.
I talked to my boyfriend's roommate for a few hours one night and we got to know each other, and now the roommate thinks I'm cool. However, the one thing the roommate said was that we're too "cutesy" when we're together.
How do I get the rest of the friends on my side? I only see them around once a month, and usually I just want to spend all the time I have with my boyfriend. What can I do to make them realize that I've changed? I hate being hated by his friends. My boyfriend is oblivious to the entire situation for the most part, which I love him for, he always expects the best from people, but his roommate told me that most of the friends do still hate me.
His friends are mostly geeky guys, so I imagine I could connect with them pretty well, but how do I get them to forgive me? Reddit, you're my only hope! | version: Have a bf, was crazy, not crazy anymore, bf's friends hate me, what do I do? |
t3_1mc7ol | relationships | I (20/m) feel like I am babysitting my gf (23/f) of 1 year | Okay so I am away on a work trip right now but this has been building for a long time. My gf is driving me up the wall with her neediness, and then blowing up on me cause she doesn't trust me.
While I've been away she has been unable to sleep in our apt and is constantly depressed/down on herself. Constantly sending me messages about how she's being a bad girlfriend cause she is worried about me. I keep reassuring her but she keeps digging her hole.
So then a few days into the trip she basically accuses me of cheating when she got a new phone because it messed up and she didn't get a message ("thank you baby") until an hour after I sent it, so it was completely out of context. When she gets it she tells me I must have meant to send that to someone else and denies it when I send her a picture of the message screen.
All in all she is wearing me out with this stuff, as its been going on for a while. I love her and care about her, and I know she has her issues but I feel like I have to force myself to be a boyfriend to her. We live together and she is in school so I can't just break up with her and throw her out, it would literally destroy her.
I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. Halp? | My girlfriend beats herself up for obsessing over me so much that it pushes me away and even though I love her I feel forced to be her bf. |
t3_1t15ue | legaladvice | Got banned from Las Vegas nightclub | PROLOGUE:
I'm already 86'd from the TAO/LAVO/MARQUEE group. But I'd like to share my experience, and also gain some insight on how I could have better handled the situation.
STORY:
I got into the club Marquee pretty early, around 10:30pm. Bought a water bottle, and headed to the restroom for a quick piss. As I got in, I see a dude with a flashlight opening and checking the bathroom stalls. This should have been a red flag for me to not proceed with what I was about to do... But I thought, what the heck, it should be okay within the privacy of a shut bathroom stall.
So I enter the bathroom stall, take a piss, and swallow an E pill- at the same time making sure to be as quiet as possible. I come out, wash my hands, and turn around to see the dude with the flashlight (let's call him Bob) telling me not to put my hands in my pockets, and to follow him outside as I'm being surrounded by 2 other guys. They escort me out and into an empty room.
Now I'm in an empty room with Bob, and 2 other big dudes staring me down. Bob says something along the lines of, "I'm only going to ask you this once, DO NOT play games with me. Do you know why you are here?" At this point, I instinctively crack and cooperate to their terms, not wanting to give any trouble and escalate the situation. I tell him I do, and I hand over the last 2 of my pills. I'm thinking Bob must have peeped through or over the bathroom stall and saw me taking the pill. What a douchebag. Anyway, the dudes talk about taking a picture of my ID, and that I'm to never return to their club along with TAO and LAVO (they're part of the same group). They say if they ever catch me there, they will call the cops and I will go to jail. Then they escort me out of the Cosmopolitan building. | Took a pill in the bathroom stall, security dude and 2 others surround me upon exit and escort me into an empty room. Take my pills, and ban me. |
t3_10wj04 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's your opinion on long distance relationships? Do they work? Are they a waste of time? | My girlfriend (17) and I (15 M) have been together for five months. We're really into each other, and we want to be together for a very long time. The thing is, she's graduating next June. She'll be going off to college and leaving me behind. She wants to stay together, as do I, but no one I've talked to about LD relationships has positive things to say. So, I'm asking Reddit. Do long distance relationships work? What are some ways to help make them work? Is it pointless? Will we be wasting my time by trying to make it work? Thanks in advance to any opinions! All will get upvotes! | My girlfriend (17) is moving to college at the end of this school year and leaving me (15 M) behind. What do? |
t3_2odmlz | relationships | The guy (29M) that I'm (24F) seeing went radio silent after I confessed my feelings | We've been seeing each other (no talk about exclusivity yet) for slightly more than two months now. He's given me some positive signs that the feelings mutual although nothing conclusive.
Examples of positive signs:
- Wanting to hang out even if sex wasn't on the cards
- Consistent contact
- Telling me that he misses me
- Asking me about holiday plans
- Helping me out with job hunting
I told him over text that I'm starting to develop feelings for him but I didn't use the L-word. It's been three days and he still hasn't replied nor acknowledged the text. I know for a fact that he's still alive and not critically ill in the hospital. In fact his last seen online time was 2 hours ago.
Today I couldn't resist from sending him another text saying that I would have respected that if he at least told me that we can't continue seeing each other because I caught feelings. (Instead of pulling a Houdini).
How should I have handled the situation? What to do when the object of your affection pulls the disappearing act after you've basically bared your soul? | The guy I'm seeing for 2 months stopped talking to me after I told him that I have feelings for him. How should I have handled it? |
t3_jr8i2 | AskReddit | Waiters, waitresses, bartenders of Reddit, I have a question for you! | I'll make this as short as possible!
My boyfriend and I live in Minnesota, about 2 minutes away from Wisconsin (just across the Mississippi River). This past Saturday, we went to a town in Wisconsin to have an anniversary dinner and see a movie.
I turned 25 at the end of June but due to the government shutdown in MN and then because of my own laziness, I finally made it into the license center last Thursday to renew my license (which I should have done in June but I was lucky enough to not get in trouble during the time that my license wasn't valid).
When we went to the restaurant, we both ordered drinks and I showed our waitress my old ID (with the clipped corner) as well as the yellow license center receipt with my date of birth, license number, and date of renewal on it. If I would have gotten pulled over for some reason, these two forms of ID would have been enough to prove my ID and permission to operate a motor vehicle.
The waitress wouldn't serve me, even though I had a credit card and a school ID (with a newer picture of me on it that confirmed my name, but no date of birth) because she said she couldn't accept an expired ID. The renewal receipt didn't matter because I had not yet received my new license.
My question is: was she being truthful about having her hands tied in this situation, possibly paranoid about getting into trouble, or was she just power-hungry and didn't want to serve me? This amount of ID would have been enough for a cop, why wasn't it enough for her? | waitress wouldn't serve me alcohol in the state bordering mine even though I thought I had enough ID to prove my age. Read the above if you need to know specifics. |
t3_3uev56 | tifu | TIFU by going to a job interview | So today I had an interview to work in a pub. I was feeling pretty confident as it was the third interview I had this week.
Unfortunately, I had decided to stay up later than I probably should have considering my interview was at 10:30 am and I'm well known for not getting up when my alarm goes off. I ended up staying up until 3:00 am and woke up 2 hours before the interview.
I managed to get showered, ready and eat some breakfast within an hour after waking up, was out the door and ended up at the place with 10 minutes to spare (which I think is quite good given that the pub was in the middle of town, a good forty minute walk, I was tired as shit and didn't bother to google maps it in the morning).
I walk in the place and I'm greeted by the assistant manager. He looked like the kind of person you'd expect to come out of art college. He asks me if I'm here about the job interview. Taking a look around the place I notice it was empty, he starts leading me to the office.
As I was walking behind him, my foot caught on one of the chairs near the bar, causing me to lose my balance and trip over. There were about 30 Pint glasses stacked as if they had just been cleaned on the bar. I instinctively stick my arms out to steady myself and knock about 15 glasses off the bar, and slowly watch most of them shatter on the floor.
I look up at the assistant manager and he was just staring at me with a blank look on his face. I stare at him for about 5 seconds, trying to think of something to say.
*"I'm gonna just clean this up and leave."*
He looks at me for about a good 10 seconds.
*"Okay, that's fine."*
He disappeared into the office and I spent about 15 minutes cleaning bits of glass off the floor, then just left, without saying anything.
Somehow I think I'm not getting the job. | Stayed up late, went to an early job interview, tripped over and knock 15 glasses off the bar. Didn't get job. |
t3_38ngg4 | tifu | TIFU by eating too many Soothers | Obligatory this happened about two weeks ago but only just made account.
So I woke up Saturday morning with my throat feeling like I'd eaten some razor wire, went out mid afternoon and bought a couple packs of Soothers. Within three hours I'd eaten a pack and half. I was sat on the sofa watching TV when I felt a fart come along, I let it out, all was good.
Then another, this one felt different, this one felt hot, my arse didn't want to just let this one out. I had a bad feeling about this one. So I ran, I ran to the bathroom whilst undoing the very tight buttons on my jeans, slammed the door, planted my arse on the toilet and let rip. I swear I have had shits more comfortable after having a hot curry.
I spent 45 minutes on that toilet with the fires of hell dribbling out of my rear end. And the smell, oh my god the smell, if my dog had been in the room, she'd be dead. I think I used most of a roll of toilet roll in the cleanup process and by the time I finished my arsehole was so raw it hurt to even fart.
Unfortunately, I did not spend enough time in there, so every time I needed to fart I had to run back to the toilet to make sure I didn't shit myself. This went on until about 11:30pm when my dad drove over with some Imodium. By this time I swear my arse was bleeding from the amount of wiping I'd had to do. Needless to say I am not eating Soothers ever again, also due to the fact my throat was just as painful as when I'd started... | Ate too many Soothers, didn't know large quantities result in a laxative effect, cleaned my insides out and ended up with sore throat and sore arse. |
t3_1prnav | relationships | Me [20 M] have been seeing [19 F] for 2 weeks but she has a long-term boyfriend that she is breaking up with today and wants to be with me. | Throwaway account since she knows my normal reddit account,
I've known this girl for about a couple months, since college started. She's 19 and I am 20. She has been dating this guy for about a year and they have been off and on for a while. They just recently got back together but a friend told me she was really into me.
About 2 weeks ago, I pursued her at a party but respected her relationship and just kissed her on the cheek.
After that she said she really liked me and that she was going to break it off with her boyfriend, only thing is, she has been staying the night this whole week and we have been doing stuff while she was in a relationship. She finally breaking it off today but I still feel a little weird that she hooked up with me even while being in a relationship for over a year.
She came over the other night and clearly told me that she only wanted me and that she can't even believe someone like me likes her, and she wants to move forward with me.
People always say, if they cheat on their bf with you, then they will cheat on you with someone else. That's why I am a little concerned about this.
Any advice or help, or have you girls been in this situation before? How do I know this can actually be a serious thing or is she just messing with me. | Girl has BF and hooked up with me, she's now leaving him and wants to be with me. I am confused on what to do. |
t3_367yt2 | relationships | My GF (f/22) is graduating next semester and will very likely be moving elsewhere, I'm (m/20) considering transferring colleges to follow her. (Nearly 2 years) | My girlfriend will be graduating next semester and will be moving elsewhere to continue her education. She has brought it up a couple of times over the last month and expressed (very strongly) her desire to have me follow her. I told her I needed to think about it, and she seemed upset/disappointed but said that she understands, and that's where we left it. Neither of us want long distance.
CONS:
- The biggest cons are financial. I get a very generous school-specific scholarship+small stipend that won't follow me to the new institution.
- I own a (very small, one man) business. It's something that I can move very easily, but I will be giving up some clients that I need to be physically present to perform work for.
- This would be the first time I've been out on my own.
PROS:
- Being with my GF.
- The institution I would be transferring to is somewhat more prestigious than my current university, and has an especially well known program for my major.
- Being out on my own (It's got to happen eventually)
- I don't actually like my current university very much for various reasons.
- I realize I mentioned several financial cons, but the damage would not be extreme. My scholarships that will follow me should cover all of the tuition. I would just be losing out on a 4k stipend (for 1 year).
I've got a long time to decide but I'm the kind of person that makes decisions well ahead of time (subject to continued reassessment of course). | Can't decide if I want to follow my gf or not next year. I want to, but I don't know if I *should*. |
t3_50k7iv | relationships | How can I [22 M] win back my ex [19 F]? | We have been apart for just under 7 months now officially. There was fault on both of our parts, but it was primarily mine due to a lack of effort caused by a few factors including anxiety and nutritional deficiencies. For a couple months afterwards she was back and forth between it being what she wanted and not what she wanted.
We kept in contact and acted as friends for a while, although on her part it felt insincere/forced. I believe this is because of her mixed feelings towards what happened as well as feeling bad about hurting me, but I couldn't tell for sure. I was trying to act happy the whole time, doing small things for her and treating her nicely thinking that that would help her see that she made a mistake.
She began a relationship with someone else even though it was pretty clear we were not on the same page on where our relationship stood. She also hid that from me for a little over a month while acting as if she was still my friend and nothing had really changed the past few months.
I believe I have made myself who I need to be for her and improved on all of the areas that I could have failed her. Communication is minimal/nonexistent currently and it is pretty unclear whether or not she wants to do so. What can I do to show her that I've become a better person than the one she left?
We had been together for about 1.5 years before breaking up | I fucked up, but I know how to not fuck up anymore. How can I show my ex this to try and spark interest again? |
t3_3e0s4x | relationships | I (22F) not sure how to approach getting a drink with my coworker (26m). Not sure if he seems into me or just being friendly | before anyone says anything, I know don't "shit where you eat"...
I feel we have a little something. But that might be because I see what I want to. He teases me slot, we have locked eyes and smiled etc. some female (older) coworker said something that kind of upset me and he said he would go track her down and make sure he never says anything like that again (he was bluffing...)
Anyways, I asked him to get a drink Saturday. He said "don't hate me. I forgot I had plans Saturday, so I can't this weekend"
Today I told him that he owed me a drink (teasingly). He said I don't recall owing you a drink (smiling) and that he would out for one with me to help with my no friends situation (since I always joke about not having friends in my new city)
It is a sensitive area, song don't know how to approach it. I know I like him, and I get the feeling he kind of likes me..... | guy at work I like who I think may like me are going to get a drink. Not sure how to hint that I like him |
t3_33yc7u | offmychest | I saved someone's life (TW: suicide) | ...and now he hates me.
A few days ago one of my good friends messaged me on Facebook letting me know he'd thought about it a lot and had chosen a day to finally kill himself. The day he chose was about a month away. Now, I've dealt with severe depression and anxiety nearly my whole life. I've even attempted before. So I responded by letting him know I love him and I can understand and respect his decision. I knew I had enough time to be able to rationalize with him to seek help instead (because I know that just telling someone not to do it wouldn't work).
But then on Friday he messaged me saying he didn't want to wait and he was going to kill himself that night and tell his parents first. Fuck. I panicked for about an hour trying to decide what to do or what I even could do. He recently moved so I wasn't sure where he lived so I couldn't just call 911. I finally decided that telling his parents wouldn't break his trust since he was planning on telling them anyways. I asked my roommate if she remembered his parents name and sent them both a Facebook message. I checked constantly to see if they'd read it realizing that some people don't check Facebook very often.
I finally saw that his dad read it. The dad found him at work and took him to the ER for a mental evaluation. I was so relieved. I knew that my friend probably would be mad at me after all of this. What I didn't anticipate is how god damn conflicted I would feel after hearing from him.
Needless to say he's fucking pissed. He trusted me and knew I would understand how he was feeling, but because of me he has to keep living his shitty life.
I know I did the right thing, but I just feel like I've broken a code of ethics amongst depressed people. I know if someone had done what I did when I attempted I would be pissed as fucking hell. I don't know what I expect from posting this, but I can't talk to anyone else about it because that would definitely be breaking the depressive code of ethics (my group of friends where I live all knew him before he moved recently). | I saved my friend's life, he's pissed about it, and I'm doubting my decision I made to intervene. |
t3_26imya | pettyrevenge | "Close the door LIGHTLY." If you insist. | I live in Korea. Taxis are dirt cheap compared to North America so I use them frequently and I'm used to the old taxi drivers being somewhat rude to me. Sometimes specifically because I'm foreign, sometimes because they're just douche nuggets.
When I got in this taxi driver's car, I was carrying a few bags so when I closed the door, I accidentally closed it a little more firmly than normal. He immediately turned around and said in a rude yet somehow sweetly condescending voice, "Close the door LIGHTLY."
He said it in Korean. One of the meanings of the particular word he used in Korean is secretively/furtively, so when we got to my building, I decided to seek my revenge by taking him literally and slowwwwlyyyy and secretively closing the door to the point of being annoying.
Ha! Take that. | Taxi driver rudely tells me to close the car door lightly. I make sure to close it as slowly as possible. |
t3_1amylw | relationships | I [21,M] am in love with my best friend [20,F] of 8 years, however I am afraid to express my feelings to her because I am afraid it could ruin our friendship. Help me out!? | Update 1: [HERE](
Hey r/relationships! So there is this girl who we will call Alice[20,F]; I first met her in the 8th grade when I moved into public school system. She was in a number of my classes, and as a result of that, we became good friends. About eight years later, we are both now Juniors in collage, and very close friends. When I say "very close friends" I mean very very very very close friends. We have been asked in the past if we are brother and sister or dating many times. She trust me 100%, and I trust her 100%....etc etc etc.
However, for the past four years I have had feelings for Alice that are more than what a friendship would entail. I would say that I am in love with her, but I feel like that would make me seem like a creep. Anyways, since we have been friends, we have both had our fair share of other relationships, all of which have failed. As I said, I have had the desire for a relationship with her for about four years. Despite these feelings, I have refrained from trying to change our friendship into a relationship because I am afraid that a) we will end up breaking up and cease to be friends afterward, or b) I will ask her out or try to express my attraction to her and she will be creeped out or whatnot because she has 'friendzoned' me. I am not sure as to weather or not she has friendzoned me, or if she has any feelings for me.
So what should I do? Should I sit down with Alice and ask her if she feels anything for me? Should I ask her out? Or should I try to be content with us just being friends? Thanks Reddit! | I [21,M]really like my best friend of 8 years[20.F], not sure whether or not I should try to pursue a relationship with her. Worried doing so will cause tension in our friendship. |
t3_105alq | relationship_advice | Me [21/m] at the beginning of a long distance relationship with my GF (20/f), could use some advice. | Hi reddit.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for a little bit more than 6 weeks now. First of all I'd like to say the the advice that some of you have given to me on other throwaways over the past 6 months have definitely had their contribution and I am very thankful for that.
The first couple of weeks of our relationship we were together. We hooked up on a party that was planned months ahead. We were pretty much in love with each other before hand so everything went pretty quick from the moment we first met in real life. After the party she stayed at my place for a couple of weeks and we had tons of fun. The only other time I was with her until now was last weekend and we already have plans to see each other again in a couple of weeks.
We met each other on World of Warcraft which formed a basis for our relationship for a long time. I quit playing WoW a couple of weeks ago because I'm starting school and work again, and I don't have any time to keep playing it, but she still does. Now I realize that the only reason this bothers me is probably because I have nothing better to complain about, we are really happy so far. But it bothers me nonetheless. This is because (for the people that don't know WoW) the game takes up a shitload of time. Every time her commitments in the game affect me I can't help but feel as if she abandons me or thinks the game is more important than me. I want to be supportive of the hobbies that she has, and I don't want to ask her to stop playing at all but these feelings do lead to my question. | What is some advice you have for having long distance relationship in general? And what advice can you give me to stop myself from blowing shit out of proportion? |
t3_x9pdr | AskReddit | What should I do? Underage nephew off to Scientology School in Florida and we don't know if there is any way to stop it! | 3-years ago my brother's EX took my nephew to Australia to live in some sort of Scientology Community. My brother tried to stop it, but lost in court. Although he had my nephew mostly full time for about 7-years, the court papers still stated he had partial custody. Verbally, he and his EX had agreed he wouldn't pay child support because he had his son all the time (while mom was heavily in to Scientology.)
In court, they charge him $20,000+ in back child support because they didn't clear this arrangement with court, and used his lack of paying child support as grounds to give mom full custody and permission to move to Australia. The EX used the money to relocate.
At the time, my nephew didn't want to go; he wanted to stay with his father. After a few months, though, he quit talking to his dad altogether. He called a few months ago to say he was going to some Scientology school in Florida and then moving back to Australia for good (he is 17 years old).
Just this week he was back in the states, just a few miles from my brother, but did not contact him. My brother went to the Sheriff with his visitation order and had my nephew removed from his grandparents' house. For the next four days he is with my brother, then off to Florida where we will likely never see him again.
I am devastated and don't know if there is anything I can do. Please help Reddit. I am heartbroken. | Nephew brainwashed by mom and off to Scientology school in Florida in four days, we don't think we'll ever see him again. |
t3_mpp3l | AskReddit | Sobriety Sucks, how'd you get/stay clean? | Hey kiddies, I have a very high stress career in which I have to deal with people everyday who are absolutely moronic or pissed off because I can't give them what they want legally (retail pharmacy, oh joy). Anyways years and years of being torn to shreds and shit on pushed me into drinking. It became a problem, one I outright ignored, up until recently in which I went to the doctor. Basically he told me that if I keep up the way I am, I probably won't see 50 and sure as hell won't see 60. I decided that this is it. The past few days I have been absolutely trashed and this is the first weekend in a looong time I've been sober. Honestly, this feels awful, I'm tired and can't sleep. Besides feeling like the devil's shit, I am so. Damn. Bored. Anyone out there who shaped up, how'd you get and stay clean? I don't care your drug of choice just give me pointers. I appreciate it. So does my liver. | Years of "gettin' fucked" caught up with me and need some sober tips. Also this is a throwaway for obvious reasons. |
t3_40z8i9 | tifu | TIFU buy using self checkout | This happened about a year or so ago. I went to CVS to buy condoms, which is already awkward right? Buying condoms is always awkward.
To kick it off the condoms at CVS are in a locked glass cabinet, so I had to get one of the employees to open it for me, and then I had to make my decision about which brand and type of condoms to choose while the employee from the pharmacy is awkwardly standing there.
So that was bad enough right? I had an idea to minimize the awkwardness of the rest of the transaction. I figured that I would just use the self checkout and put the condoms in a brown paper bag before I bought them, and that way nobody would know what I was buying. Good plan, yes?
So I get to the self checkout machine, put the condoms in a bad, and here's where it falls apart.
It asked me to place my product on the "bagging area". The box of condoms that I was buying were probably about 3 ounces, not very heavy, and they weren't heavy enough to register in the "bagging area". So basically this froze the transaction, I already paid, but could not complete the transaction until the condoms were in the goddamn bagging area, which they already were.
At this point there is a line behind me, and I'm trying to figure out the fastest way to rectify the situation, I can't just leave, since I already paid, so I'm trying to ask the one CVS employee who sort of hangs out near the self checkout machines for help.
On the screen of the self checkout machine it clearly says "Trojan condoms", so during this whole time where the machine is stuck, and I'm trying to find somebody to fix it for me, the people in line behind me are snickering, including the one hot asian lady in line directly behind me. | tried to buy condoms using the self checkout machine, machine didn't work, everyone behind me in line saw me buying condoms and laughed. |
t3_ygo55 | Advice | I have to make a decision regarding my education by this monday. | So the situation is this:
I messed up and ran out of time while trying to earn enough credits for my high school diploma. Moved to Montana and got a quick job, made some money, sorted out my life and all that jazz. I know where I want to go with my future as far as long term stuff is concerned.
I think the first step is getting my GED. In order to do that I moved back in with my family in California and began to study and look for a new job.
All that aside, I don't have very much cash. (Zero, to be precise).
I'm in a situation where I can get my GED for free along with tutoring at a college.
Here's the catch:
It's on the other side of town and I'd have to be in the program for 3-4 weeks minimum. Every day, all day. I mean I'd be getting home at 9-10 every night, staying up till 1 studying. No time for breaks, no weekends, for that long a time period. And I have to pay for bus fare.
The alternative is I bide my time and study myself, Hit the books and slowly build up the cash reserves until I can afford the GED all on my own. At my own pace.
I have until Monday to decide. | I NEED A GED. I JOIN THIS PROGRAM AND STUDY MYSELF TO DEATH, AT LOWER COST. OR I WAIT AND DO IT MYSELF. |
t3_3ipi3u | relationships | [27/F] looking to finally move on after a break up | Hi there Reddit,
I'm a 27 F a year and a half out of a long relationship.
Last April, my girlfriend of 8 years broke up with me and I had really fallen apart. While I had a few relationships prior, this was basically my first relationship. I'm at a point where I'm interested in meeting new people and having casual relationships / friendships and I have no idea how to go about doing this — I always thought it would just sort of happen as I got better and started opening up.
I find myself being rather introverted and shy at first, but once I open up I'm rather fun. Meeting people online is rather hard because I'm kind of awkward via computer/phone screen. I work for a very small company right now and don't get out too much — that's not to say I don't go out and have fun, I just do so without even attempting to meet new people. I'm always out with existing friends or enjoying solo time. I've been a bit more open to it all lately but still have a hard time with it. Any advice helps! | How do people make casual relationships happen when you don't have the best virtual presence? How do you make friends / meet people / build any relationship? |
t3_2gl9hn | AskDocs | Strange lump in throat...possibly adult onset asthma? /Extreme tiredness... want to sleep all the time. | I asked before about possibly having Lyme's disease. I had the testing done, and had bloodwork including a western blot (teter test) and came back negative. the only thing I had that was abnormal was a vitamin d deficiency which i'm now on a medicine for once a week.
I've been having a ton of diarrea and needing to use the bathroom a lot, so I cut gluten out of my diet as a test. I felt better for a while, and am no longer having strange joint pains, but still having diarrea. I'm still having memory/processing issues, which have gotten a little better.
I've got an appointment with an allegiest in a couple of weeks, now the biggest thing that's bugging me is being tired all the time, and some shortness of breath. It kind of feels like there's a ball of some sort in my throat (or like my throat is swollen?) I've taken antihistamines in the past and they didn't do anything for me, and I just really want to be asleep all the time. It's like I'm addicted to sleeping and I get crabby when I don't get my next fix. Boyfriend mentions I snore/ may have some sleep apnea.
I'm 24, about 5" 2' and 130 lbs. White/ female. Diagnosed with ADHD and Severe depression. Medication is called Ergo, and I take it once a week. Currently not medicated for ADHD or depression. Was on buprofen, made shortness of breath worse and heart beat really fast.
So | Symptoms are: Constant drowsyness/Weakness feeling/shortness of breath/feel like throat is swollen. Kind of a lightness in head. |
t3_4zfijg | tifu | TIFU by not brining my own bottle opener and having a great attitude | So a bit of background, I just started a new job as a junior doctor, and I'm starting at a new hospital in a new town and for the past few months I've been trying to improve my outlook on life by approaching life in a positive way (like 'Yes Man' kinda attitude).
So the fuck up was last Sunday, I was invited to a bbq party being held at this big house shared by lots of other doctors, some new some old, and I went straight to the back garden where the party was. I brought some bottles of beer and I was looking for a bottle opener, one of the guys living there told me to find one in the kitchen. So I went through the back door. Went looking for the kitchen. I come across this guy on the toilet, sitting down and having a shit with the door open. I can smell it. But you know I'm like a cool guy. Its all about attitude right. So I just say 'Oh hey man I'm one of the new doctors, I know its a bit of an awkward situation but I need a bottle opener' thinking he's probs another doctor I've not met before. This guy starts fuming and shouting 'get the fuck out you prick!' I'm like woah why is this guy being so unreasonable? Like whats the problem we're all adults here, I mean we've seen worse, it isnt that big a deal! But I get it so I leave him to it. Turns out the basement is a separate flat... | broke into a complete stranger's flat by accident, caught him taking a shit with the door open, tried to style it out with some positive thinking. |
t3_4jnhos | relationships | My (17M) dad (~40M) cheated on my wife about a year ago. I installed keyloggers to prove it without him knowing, but they're still together -- since then, I've changed my last name, very few people know; how do I tell them? Me [17 M] with my [00 M/F] duration, short-description | (Sorry for the long title).
I really don't want to go over in detail what my dad did, but it was incredibly stressful.. I had to see my mom cry and ask me what to do, I had to see my ignorant brother not give two shits and I had to see my grandparents ignore the elephant the room after my mom told them. I had enough with that side of the family, and I changed my name to match my mothers.
This was about a year ago, and still only my mom, my dad and I think my brother has a clue about it.. I just don't know what to do.. Should I just suddenly change it on Facebook? I'm going to an University next year that's pretty far (ish) away from all my highschool friends so I could just cut ties with them and start empty, but I just don't know.. My aunt and grandparents (and especially my cousins, who I have a very close bonding with) all don't know. I just need advice, and I really wish I knew about this place while the whole affair thing was happening.. | I changed my last name, how do I break the news to just about everyone without them thinking.. I don't know, I just don't want to make a big deal out of it.. |
t3_1rrfcy | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] dating for about a month, broke up due to time but still may have something | So, we've known each other for about 2 year prior to dating, and were pretty good friend 6 months up to when we started dating. She was in a relationship with another guy for about a year and a half, she breaks up with him about 5 months ago, and we started dating mid-October. Come mid-November, she breaks up with me citing time as an issue.
More specifically regarding time: her and I attend the same university, she is a fourth year and I'm a third year. She is planning on graduating this coming April, and she will not be here for the majority of the summer. On top of that, she will be leaving for grad school come September. As well, both of our second semesters are going to be quite hectic, so we would have little time for each other.
So, we break up citing these reasons, but that was the only reason we did break up; we got along, and still get along, great. I wanted it to work, but she was unwilling due to the aforementioned points.
At a minimum, we would be separated for a year and a half (as I'm planning on finishing in four years and attending grad school in September 2015, hopefully), and she's not willing to do an LDR.
My question is, well, what do I do? I still care about her, and she's one of the most amazing people I've ever met, and we still have something that could work. I'm not planning on getting into another relationship any time soon, and I'm probably going to be focussed on schooling in my fourth year as well. Do I hold myself off for a year and a half, and hope to whatever powers that may be that I can find a graduate student position in the same school as her AND she hasn't found someone new by then AND we're still able and willing to have a relationship? Or do I forget about her as a romantic link and move on with my life? | GF and I date for 1 month, break up due to time constraints, but we still have something that could work later on. What do? |
t3_48ovig | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 4 months, running out of things to talk to. | Hey all, first post so here goes.
My current girlfriend and I had a short fling last year, from about November to January last year, then called it quits. However, before breaking up, we did decide if the time was right, we were open to getting back together. We talked on and off since then until about October, when we decided to try again. I've been extremely supportive toward here through schoolwork and projects and she has been there for me. Everything since then has been great. However recently, we realized that we haven't talked long about much. We talk a lot, but we don't talk about things for a long time if that makes sense. I am continuously supportive, tell her she's beautiful and amazing a lot. However, I am worried that she's going to find someone with whom she can talk better. I have strong feelings for this girl, and am worried about us breaking up. No girl makes me feel the way I do, and she has told me she loves me. We're planning on going on trips and such in the Spring, but I'm worried something will happen before then. Any suggestions on what to talk to her about or what to do? Thanks all. | Girlfriend and I are running out of things to talk about and I'm afraid she'll lose interest. Suggestions? |
t3_3slkng | personalfinance | I know this is a petty amount, but it's ridiculous | About 3 months ago I got a call that my grandfather would be dead within 48 hours. I immediately took the day off work and drove to the hospital he was at. Long story short, my grandmother is prone to exaggerate, and he's fine. But I thought he was dying, and I stupidly took the toll road. In the Dallas area, they have no way to pay at the toolbooth, you just run it basically, and if you don't have a toll tag, you get an invoice in the mail, about 50% higher than toll tag rates. I just got a letter stating that I failed to pay my first invoice, and they were charging me the toll of $3.03, and a $10 dollar late fee. I never got the first letter, I live out in the country a bit, and mail gets misdelivered here and there. I wrote them an e-mail explaining I never got the bill, and could they waive the fee as my circumstance, and I would gladly pay what I owe.
This is what infuriates me. They sent me a reply saying they would waive it if I buy a toll tag, costing $20 bucks, and then not only will they waive it, but reduce my toll to the tag rate of $2.02. So only if I pay them more money will they waive my fine. I feel that borders on extortion. Might just be me. They say they don't waive late fees under any circumstance, and their proof I received my first bill is their record that they printed it.
Is there anything I can do but suck it up and pay a 333% fine? I've asked for a supervisor, but I'm sure they'll just e-mail me back saying no. | Getting a fine equivalent to 333% of the original fee. Will waive if I pay for another more expensive service. Feel extorted. |
t3_2sawt6 | relationships | Me [19 M] recently met a girl (?? F) who went to elementary school with me | Hello people from r/relationships,
2 days ago, i met this girl who i knew from elementary school. We never had any contact after elementary school (about 13 years).
Anyway, like above, i met her 2 days ago, working at our local gas station (part time job, she is going to the police academy). At the beginning i wasnt sure if she was (lets call her) sarah. So i asked her if her name was sarah. She said yes, its her name. I asked her, if she know me too. Again she said yes, but didnt remember my name. After i told her mine, we had a short but good conversation. Sadly, she had to go back to work. Somehow, i was instantly interested in her, but forgot to ask, if she wanted to go on a coffee or similar. I dont even know her work shedule or where does she live now, nor i have her number. the only way to get in contact again, is to ask her coworkers for her work shedule or add her in facebook and ask there.
My question: is it inappropriate to ask someone out (preferable facebook), if you recently met them? (i have no expierience in such things and im a shy guy)
Thanks in advance | Met a girl, which i got interested instantly. Know her from elementary school long time ago. Want too meet with her again, but dont know how to proceed! |
t3_rq6bv | travel | Issues with buying a one way ticket? | I recently purchased a one way ticket from New York to Prague a couple of weeks ago. I am teaching English there for a week and then buying a cheap flight to Venice where I will spend the next 3-5 weeks traveling around by train/boat throughout Italy, South France and possibly Tunisia (if the price is right).
Some people (Mom) are telling me that since I have not purchased a return flight yet, that customs will give me a hard time and possibly not let me into Europe in the first place. The flight to Prague has a connection in London which only has a 1 hour and 20 minute wait in between flights. Can I kiss this connection flight goodbye?
My plan is to buy a return ticket when I ~~am finished traveling~~ run out of money. I would make my way to the closest major city, probably Rome, and leave from there. | Will I get hassled entering Europe with a one way ticket. If so, what options can I take if I am uncertain about the date of the return flight? |
t3_2svl2a | relationships | Boyfriend (28/m) wants to go to syripclubs but I (27/f) have insecurity and jealousy issues..help | My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and we love eachother very much. We are planning on doing some traveling this year and want to explore new things as we do so. One of the things my boyfriend mentioned that he would enjoy doing is going to a strip club and that he would like me to go. I personally hate the idea of him going because of all these naked hot women shaking their tail feathers at him. I think it's so stupid to be jealous about this and wish I were able to be more open about it. I just want to be comfortable enough with myself to be able to be okay with him having a good time. I already told him I wouldn't be okay with any lap dancea but if it's just anything with non contact, then I should really learn to be okay with this. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions to get better about this? We are going to vegas in just a few days and I know we may actually be going to a strip club there. I hate jealousy and insecurity..it makes me feel so icky but I just don't know how to rid myself of these feelings. | Boyfriend wants to go to strip clubs if opportunity arises. I don't like the idea because I'm too jealous. How can I get rid of jealousy and insecurity for the sake of relationship and sanity |
t3_4ozojm | relationships | Me [28 M] with my [26 M] bf of 3 years have a weird relationship - but is it abusive? | My boyfriend (26 M) and I (28 M) have been having troubles after about 3 years together. We live together and lately are getting into lots of fights. He's pretty much twice my size, which is relevant here.
Usually starts something like this: he doesn't want to talk to me, refuses to answer questions, has been ignoring me all day for whatever reason (this is his go to mode when he's angry). I start getting annoyed and start pestering him - asking "whatcha doing?" every few minutes, moving over to the couch or bed or wherever he's sitting. Eventually he gets pissed and shoves me off the bed, pins me to the couch or sits on me. Sometimes it really hurts! Then I yell and cry and he calls me a crybaby and refuses to apologize or leave the house - sometimes he physically shoves me out of the house and slams the door on me (even though I pay the bulk of the rent!).
Or, sometimes we're out in public and have stupid fights like: I say something a little *too true* about his (bat shit INSANE) mother and he pushes me a little too hard, or gives me a half-joking-half-not punch on the arm. I've told him in the past I hate when he does that but he can't ever seem to remember these conversations.
I never touch him back (again, 2x my size, but also abusive or not that's trashy).
Does that sound abusive to you all? And do you have any recommendations for how to stop this? It's really pissing me off, I feel like he uses his size to shut down conversations and win by default and also, he should take a walk sometimes! Especially if he doesn't want to talk or be even remotely civil to me. There are some days, I swear to god, when he just GRUNTS at me like an animal and doesn't say a single word. | bf gets a bit physical with me, but is it abuse? How do I get him to stop, whatever it is? |
t3_18pxxr | relationships | [24]F Need Help Moving On from [33]M | A bit of history: we met at work one year ago & hit it off immediately. He made it clear that he was in an 8-year-relationship but was on the way out. In hindsight, I should have hot-tailed it then & there with a 'call me when you're on the market, bud', but I didn't.
We work 10 days on, 4 days off. We actively started dating. We've always been able to communicate about everything. Except, I noticed 6 months in, she (the ex) didn't come up in conversation. Ever. They had a house together which he never went to. We were so caught up in each other that I completely forgot the circumstances & just assumed they were done. **Naive little mistress**, I know. He spoke of a future with me, of putting me on a mortgage, having kids.. all the white-picket fence stuff.
But ever since October, things have been different. He's gone back to their home every time he's not at our 'work' house. He spent the holidays with her. I found out I was pregnant in January and he wouldn't come home to help me through things. I miscarried last week and he went scurrying back home to her a week later (on his days off work).
What the hell should I do here, guys?
The more I type out, the more obvious it is...
So I guess what I'm really looking for is some sort of support.
I've been to a therapist, I've been honest with the other woman...
I just need to stop caring about this guy & can't seem to do so.
I've got my whole life ahead of me & I'm just stuck.
Be harsh, be kind, be honest. Just looking for a nudge here. | Girl meets boy, boy bounces between new girl & old girl. New girl gets pregnant, miscarries & after a blindingly obvious lack of support, can't find the gall to leave boy. |
t3_wcpnx | offmychest | I'm unsure what to title this, but it's about a girl. That I love | I was browsing facebook one day, doing the usual, retarded, stuff that I do. Some girl added me. She was about 2 and a half years older than me. I accepted and thought nothing of it. A month or two later she chatted me. We later video-skyped and had a good time. We regularly texted and it was all good. About a month into our friendship type thing, I devoloped a crush on her. I said I'd be gone for a week and I used the "L" word. She said she didn't like me like that and we barely ever talk now, and when we do, it's really awkward and it feels like she hates me. I've cried more than once over this. | I friend a random girl on facebook. I develop a crush on her, and she hates me now because confessed my love to her |
t3_2oaxde | relationships | I, [20F], got dumped by my boyfriend [22M] after a few months. Is it worth it to try to get him back? | So, I am a 20 year old female that was in a relationship with a 22 year old male for a few months. We went through a lot together in that amount of time (job losses, etc etc).
I was really insecure in the beginning of the relationship, but after I got over that, I became pretty much the perfect girlfriend to him. But, around a month ago, he started getting really depressed. He's always been that way so I figured he would come out of it in a few days. He didn't. He broke up with me.
A day or two later, he apologized, and we worked everything out. Fast forward a week or two, this happens again. He tries to end things again because he's depressed.
A few days ago, we got into a little argument, and he decides to end things again. He says that we argue too much, that we live too far apart (he lives about 60 miles from me) etc, but he hasn't really said that it's over for good.
We've texted a few times since then but haven't spoken in almost two days. I'm wondering, is it worth it to try to get him back? And, any tips on how to go about doing that? We were so happy together before he started getting depressed, and I know I care for him more than anyone ever will, I just can't tell if it's him or the depression | significant other breaks up with me when going through bouts of depression. I think he might mean it for good this time. Should I try to get him back/what would be the best way of going about getting him back? |
t3_3j6rl0 | relationships | My [19M] amazing date [16F] is apparently a 16 year old | Hi,
I went on a tinder date with this girl, the date was amazing and it was the most fun I'd had in a long time. Though, she dodged the age question until after.. It said she was 18 on her tinder profile so I didn't question it. She mentioned she was 16 after though. I probably would not have gone out with her the first time if I knew that...
I live in a place where all of this is totally legal but it still feels a little weird. Like, I couldn't have told the difference while we were together, she was really smart and looked like she was 19 or even 20, she had a job, and yeah. I had a lot of fun and I want to see this girl, but is that age gap a little too much? I don't know... We really hit it off and she wanted to go on another date, so we're going to watch a movie.
To provide some context: I myself am a pretty smart guy, go to an Ivy league school, live outside the US, work at a big software company... but I've never gone out with a girl so smart/cultured/classy, refused to believe she was 16...? | Went out on an amazing date with a girl. Girl didn't mention her age, turns out she's younger than I thought, what now? |
t3_nnhrn | relationships | [xpost from AskReddit] Reddit, my friend has always managed to get himself into relationships where he's unhappy and whipped, but only sees it in hindsight. I never cared about it before, but now it's resulting in him being a total dick. What should I Do? | We're in highschool. My friend always manages to get into a relationship with a chick who's in total control, and he usually gets pushed around A LOT. Call me cynical, but I don't care about peoples personal lives at all. I seriously fucking hate dealing with garbage like that, but as a result, he's been a complete fucking dick lately. Through sarcastic fun jokes I've been trying to get him to see the big picture. His girl was for the longest time a cool chick, or so it seemed.
The last week's been pretty bad. He's always bailing, and has no fucking confidence (though she acts like she genuinely tries to help him with that, and it seems like she really is, he has none at all), and is fucking ditching me all the time. Then I noticed today when I went to find him on facebook I accidentally clicked on her (Fucking gay matching pictures) and found we were no longer friends.
My guess is he told her I said something, which I never did, resulting in her shitting bricks of anger toward me, and all of the dick stuff he's been doing lately. Makes sense really, but it's pathetic. I'm really the only one who's suffering out of this ordeal, but the general consensus is that he's totally whipped and it's not good. For those wondering in the last week I've been totally fucking ignored, booted from the hotel room on our 5 day overnight trip, kicked out of the small ensemble he leads, and several other things.... We're both seniors.
Reddit, what do I do? He seems happy, but it's definitely not healthy. Other people have already tried to talk to him but they've just pissed him off, resulting in him trashing everyone behind their back. She's made him a total asshole. Something must be done.... | Friends girlfriend whips him a lot. Definitely not good for him. No one cared for a while cause he's always been this way. Now he's being an ass because of it. What do I do? |
t3_1c3w67 | offmychest | Welp, everything I had been slowing putting into place, got stomped into the ground today. | So basically there is this girl I like, I've been slowing, very slowly, trying to interact and the finally build up the courage (lets just say this wasn't going to happen in the near future) to ask her out or even find out if she liked me. Today, that got destroyed. I had some sneaking suspicions that this one friend (lets say Joe) always seemed to be talking to her at the same time I did (online, but very rarely, we are both busy). I finally asked him who he liked cause I was pretty darn good friends with this Joe guy. He says outright that he was DATING the person I like. This took a good 30 minutes to sink in and then, here I am. I honestly don't think that this is going to change make me feel better but, it was on my chest, and I'm trying to get it off. Worst part is, I sit next to the person I like almost everyday, which is now going to turn me into a very different person than I was before, knowing that I probably wont ever date the person that I have ever truly liked. Seriously though, life sucks. | Some friend is dating a girl I've been trying to work enough courage to ask out. Didn't know until today, awkward. |
t3_3ba388 | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] of a year and ten months, I keep getting jealous when he hangs out with other people. | My boyfriend is a very sociable person. He has a lot of friends that come and go, and talks to a lot of people. I am the polar opposite.
A few months ago, he started working at walmart. According to him, most of the people he works with that are around his age and have similar interests as him are girls. So, naturally he started hanging out with them.
I get that it's normal to get a little bit jealous, but I feel like I can't trust him even though he hasn't given me any reason not to trust him. It's not even like he hangs out with them that often. Tomorrow will be the first time in almost 2 weeks.
What makes it worse is that he won't let me meet them. I've told him how all of this bothers me before. At first, he told me that he doesn't want to mix his friend groups. But tonight, he finally told me it's because I'm a "stick in the mud" and anytime I hang out with him and any group of people that I get jealous because he isn't paying attention to me. He basically said I ruin everyone's fun.
I'll admit, it's not a lie. I do get moody whenever we're around a lot of people. I really don't know why I do, it's just like an switch turns on in my head whenever we're around more than 3 people and it puts me in a bad mood. But even admitting to that, the comment still hurts.
I know it's me that's causing issues here. I wouldn't want him telling me I can't hang out with guys, why would I do the same to him? I just don't know what to do. My feelings are still hurt and he knows this, but if I try to talk to him then he'll get annoyed because the whole discussion is just going to go in circles. | Boyfriend makes girl friends at work, won't let me meet them because I'm a "stick in the mud." |
t3_10k96j | AskReddit | How should I go about calling animal control | I went to my friend's the other day and the house was horrifying. I know the pets are being fed but they shit and piss everywhere and then it doesn't get cleaned up. This wouldn't really bother me you know lay around in filth if you want but there are kids involved. I went into the kids room and it smelled like straight up piss and you couldn't walk around without stepping in shit. At this point I feel like I have to do something but I don't want it coming back to me because they don't really let anybody else in their house. I'm not stupid I know I can remain anonymous but I want it to look like an outside source called, not me. My friend is a good person, just lazy. | friends house is disguisting and there are kids involved but I don't want friend knowing I'm the one who called. |
t3_1svuf4 | relationships | How do I (21F) get over jealousy towards my boyfriend's (21M) ex? | I met my boyfriend this summer and have been dating him since. He's considered me his "girlfriend" for the past two months or so, although we were basically exclusively dating before anyways.
One of the biggest problems I've had with him is his ex girlfriend (21f). They had a pretty unhealthy relationship and super long/messy breakup. As soon as he started seeing me, she tried to get back with him. He slept with her when we first started seeing each other (I was out of town) and two times after, when I was in town. After each time, he told me and I felt totally betrayed. Even if we were not monogamous at the time, I felt hurt he'd gone back to the ex at all.
Anyways, since then he's definitely realized she and him are awful together, and I do believe him when he says he has no interest in her in a romantic sense. She has moved on with someone else, he is with me.
The thing is, he still talks to her (rarely) and sometimes we will run into her on the street, etc. I feel bad that I get angry at him when he has any interaction with her; I want to trust him, and I think I do, but I can't help but be sore/hurt about their past. I feel disrespected by her because she and her friends go out of their way to be rude/awful to me as well.
I'm sick of getting mad at my boyfriend for the past, I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend that won't let him talk to his ex, but I seriously hate /strongly dislike her. How do I handle this situation? I often find myself feeling inadequate and comparing myself to this girl; I don't want to waste my time thinking about her at all, but I do anyways. | how do I get over feelings of jealousy/resentment towards my bf 's ex that he slept with a few times when we first were casually dating? |
t3_1jpqja | dating_advice | [21F] Advice on how not to immediately clam up whenever I think someone is hitting on me?! | So, I should probably preface this by saying that I've never officially dated anyone. I know, I'm sad. I have close guy friends so I know that at least I can get along with the opposite sex, my face is not covered in green warts, and would like to consider myself a fairly good conversationalist. All fine and dandy, right?
BUT
I swear to god, anytime I'm talking to some guy who I think might be showing even the *tiniest* bit of interest, I start getting all nervous and anxious in my head and the normal me goes up in flames. And the sad thing is, generally, I'm pretty sure they're just being friendly. Because when I'm legitimately being hit on, (ex: got eyefucked pretty hard, was oblivious at the time and made a silly face back at them) you couldn't get me to notice the signs if there were blazing neon lights pointing to them. | So...uh...yeah. Sorry if this turned into a self-pity party. Advice on how not to suddenly become a wall of ice in the face of (probably imagined) flirting would be most appreciated. |
t3_41bft7 | relationships | Me [35 M] with my long distance GF [25 F] 10 months, possibly caught her in a big lie | Hey,
A few weeks ago, my LD girlfriend called me to let me know her mother had passed away. She cried and cried and cried over the phone.
After this, she's been somewhat distant and reserved. OK, I understand. She loved her mother and misses her very much. She started playing Destiny on | LD gf tells me her mother died, becomes very distant to me, I start to be concerned, find most likely her mother on Facebook, alive and well, very confused and shocked as a result. |
t3_25rte0 | relationships | How do I [21F] tell my mother and stepfather [51F/53M] that the way they talk to my kid brother [12M] is incredibly negative without starting an argument or making it worse? | I think the title pretty much covers it.
My kid brother has been through a lot emotionally for a kid. We lost our dad a couple years back to alcoholism, he gets picked on a lot in school because of a medical condition, we moved to a new area about a year ago, and he's having a hard time adjusting to having a new father figure. He's a nice enough guy, but he hasn't exactly been the nicest to my brother. Nothing physically damaging, just snide comments and negative remarks, and my ma's begun joining in on such remarks.
A couple examples, they refer to him as Gollum, his | my mother and stepfather say stuff to my kid brother that they think is funny and not serious, but it's mean and it upsets him. How do I bring it up to them? |
t3_3u67ko | relationships | Should I [17 M] break up with my long distance girlfriend [16 F] of seven months? | I've never made a post on reddit before so forgive me for any formatting errors if I have any. Starting from the beginning, before we began dating we were friends for about 8 months while she was dating her now ex-boyfriend. I liked her this entire time and I waited for any chance to date her and eventually I got that chance and we began dating.
Anyway she had to move very far from my location only a month after we were dating. While she was here things were amazing, she made me happier than I have been during any other relationship. Even after she moved we continued to make things work and everything was great. She visited a couple of times over the summer and it was nice seeing her.
Now though, I just feel rather distant from her. I feel that I have withdrawn myself from our relationship, I haven't seen her in almost 5 months and it's really had its toll. I'm concerned we may have changed since then and I am supposed to see her over this thanksgiving break. When I really thought about seeing her though I didn't feel the same enthusiasm I once had. Her family also doesn't like me and have tried getting her to break up with me (they are Catholic and I am a different denomination, I feel that this is the biggest issue between her family and I).
I also feel that I may miss out on many things seniors experience in high school, as I am on a path to graduating early so I can get done with college sooner to be with her. I also am scared of ending things though, which is the main issue. I am scared I might be giving up an amazing relationship over something that wouldn't last forever. I am just unsure of what to do, and I am sorry for all of these scattered thoughts. I would appreciate any advice. | I am unsure what to do about my long distance relationship. She is a wonderful person it's just very tough not seeing her and also missing out on things my friends are doing as seniors. |
t3_hw2ha | running | What motivated me to start running? | [Not even joking](
Until I saw this movie running was just a 'meh' thing for me that I did from time to time. After seeing it, I wanted to get into shape. Running has kept me sane through a lot - essay and exam season, breakups, friend drama, general stress - and is flat out fun. I work in down town Ottawa, and the days where I take my lunch break as a run along the Canal make me love my job. Believe it or not, running also helped me quit smoking. The endorphins I get during the run and the mindset I get into with my music are a lot better than the nicotine rush, the damaged lungs, and the feeling of death every time I try to run or quickly ascend a flight of stairs.
I used to run daily or at least once every two days, but unfortunately school has gotten to that "meet the 1000 deadlines or get fucked" phase. Hoping to get back into it very soon! | Thank you, Simon Pegg, Dave Schwimmer, and everyone else associated with that film. You inspired me to get off my ass. |
t3_mmjjv | AskReddit | Advice needed on credit card fraud and trouble I might be in | Backstory, I was working as a cashier at a store and a customer came into my line with a couple hundred dollars worth of those american express gift cards. When he slid his credit card, the register asked me to input whether or not his ID matched the credit card. I asked him if I could take a look and he said he didn't have an ID on him. I had no manager to call so I made a judgement call and hit "yes" and entered a completely made up license number. If the guy seemed suspicious at all I wouldn't have done it. But after I had already done it he started to talk more and seemed real shady. So basically my mind is wandering over and over whether or not this guy just happened to steal the card and whether or not I just helped him get away with it.
So what I'm asking essentially is how much trouble did I get myself into in the case that the card really was stolen? If it does come back to me then I already know I will be fired. In my mind I'm picturing it as the least of my worries though.
How long before I'll be in the clear and can stop worrying about it? It is really the only thing on my mind for the past few days and I've been thinking about it for hours on end.
Will I have to pay back the lost money to my store?
Am I looking at any type of charges pressed against me?
How likely is it that this guy actually used a stolen card or am I over exaggerating this situation? | Guy possibly bought expensive items with stolen card. I authorized it in the wrong way. How screwed am I and what did I just get myself into? |
t3_4e7ybp | relationships | [Update] My (25m) GF (23f) comes home crying from lunch with her mother (48f) and sister (26f). Refuses to tell me why. | Original:
It happened again today. She came home from lunch, and she clearly had been crying again. Most of you guys seemed to agree that I needed to know what's going on, so once again I asked het what happened, but instead of shutting me down, she stayed quiet and tried not to cry.
I used /u/jungstir's advice (*I notice you crying when you go out to lunch with your family and I don't think it is allergies. Help me understand what is going on please. I love you and don't like you hurting.*) ans she immediatly started bawling, and telling me how she hated her mother and her sister. *"I hate them. Nothing I ever do I good enough for them. Sister is so fucking perfect, while I'm the family fuck up."*
To my GF's sister, sunday lunch is the ideal opportunity to gloat about her rich husband, her big house, her therapist degree and some fancy new clothes, while tearing down my GF for dating me, living in a appartment, and studying to become a nurse. Mom plays the role of referee, and happily agrees in everything sister says, while also tearing down my GF and rub it in how she wanted to become a doctor, "wasn't smart enough" and now settled to become a nurse.
GF wants to stop going to lunch with them, but she tried it once before and her mother told her "that it was a tradition, and if she didn't participate, she wouldn't be part of the family anymore." She had hoped that when she moved out, either their behaviour would change or thet she could slowly stop going, but it's been much worse. She's come to a point where she'd be happy to never se them again, but she doesn't want to lose her entire family. | It happened again, mother and sister are toxic. GF and I want to cut them out, but GF is afraid of losing her entire family. |
t3_wabci | AskReddit | How can you get tested for Lyme disease without insurance or a primary doctor, when the test can only be ordered by you primary doctor? | My wife and I are moving to a piece of property in the sticks we've been working on for a while - Ticks are really bad this year, in the past we'd pull maybe 10 off everyone in a year but so far in 2012 there have been hundreds picked off and dozens of bites.
Lyme Disease tests aren't really very good, and they're expensive - My wife is showing symptoms of lyme (swelling in the knees, headaches, lack of energy, etc.) although she didn't get the "Bullseye" mark (apparently only 40% of those infected do).
The test costs $260 which is fine I guess, but the thing that's got us clawing at the wall is that in order to get tested by an independent lab, and pay for it ourselves out of pocket we need to get a doctor to sign off...
So this morning - I call Quest Diagnostics, talk with someone who makes appointments - I explain the situation that we need to have blood drawn for these tests, and did they have technicians who would be able to fulfill this function? Yes they did, I was assured - One appointment later that was out the door.
The low cost clinic (there are two in my area) - My wife is seen at one, I am seen at the other - The next available appointment is in 20 days... at a cost of $60
We even tried a local "compassionate health consultation" that went on about their alternative doctors, and assured me over the phone that it was a real appointment with a doctor who could sign the form after seeing her.... Nope.... Of course, that wasn't mentioned until the entire appointment had passed, $80 paid.
So any suggestions? There is a lyme specialty doctor locally we can pay out of pocket for an appointment, but it's several hundred dollars and it seems rediculous that it should cost more for the permission to get tested than the test itself.... Especially since we're the only ones being pro-active about it! | What's the cheapest, fastest way to get a specific test ordered (basic Lyme panel) when you don't have insurance and you don't have a doctor? Are there any companies that offer this test direct to user? |
t3_146u1u | relationships | My boyfriend [20m] and one of our friends [17m] caught his little brothers girlfriend [16f] cheating. Help? More details inside. | Hey reddit. So this is a bot of a complicated situation. We will call my boyfriend Ted, the friend Hayden, the brother Alex, and the girlfriend Jena.
Basically Jena has been nothing but trouble since the day Jena and Alex started dating. She has cheated on Alex 7 times that she has told him of. She attacks all his friends to the point where they are secluded (the way she wants), he is not allowed to talk to them about his issues, he is not allowed to hang out with them unless she is there, and any girl that talks to him, she fights. She has stolen from the family, spread lies, and is literally insane.
Today Hayden caught her cheating on Alex again. She was holding hands and kissing a guy while walking to her mothers house. They ended up taking a few photos of the whole thing, as they are all sick of Alex getting so hurt. They want their friend back. Just three weeks earlier my boyfriend and I caught her with the same dude in the mall holding hands, and kissing.
We would like some advice on how to proceed. We are talking about a very emotionally abused Alex. The life has actually been sucked of him and all his relationships are ruined. He literally thinks he is worthless without her. Normally I would not say anything to someone who was caught red handed. I know it is not my place. But his relationship should have been dead the first time she cheated on him (it was with her 23 year old ex boyfriend.) Any advice on how to proceed? | Caught my boyfriends, little brothers, girlfriend, red handed cheating. Serial cheater and emotionally and physically abusive. Advice? |
t3_187y5x | relationship_advice | Neighbor And Abusive Relationship [?/m] [?/f] | Looking for some advice on the following situation. I overheard my neighbor yelling at his girlfriend and calling her a bitch over and over again, possibly hitting her too. Something about money and her calling someone. The police were called, they came very quickly, and later said they couldn't really do anything about "the noise" because they didn't hear it which I guess is code word for "she denies him abusing her". The police are gone and it's pretty quiet now. Should I try to record it from the hallway the next time this happens? Should I call the landlord? My biggest concern is her safety. Thanks. | Neighbor abuses gf, police came, said they couldn't do much, and looking for advice on how to handle it. |
t3_r7jx9 | dating_advice | [29M] A woman (~27F) at work has expressed interest in me, and me in her, but she made a strange comment. Should I carry this forward? | I'm 29M, she's probably 27, we've been working at the same facility. I was initially attracted to her when she started about 9 months ago but we had no opportunity to meet. We finally met in a non-professional setting a few months ago at a random dinner out and things went well. I didn't think much of it as I'm extremely obtuse.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. We're both at work and have some down time. I realize I'm still attracted to her. We strike up conversation over random work related things and she starts asking me questions about things we like and don't like. Turns out neither of us like coffee and neither of us drink alcohol (or exceedingly rarely). Suddenly she states, "so there won't be any coffee in our house". I get the impression it sort of slipped out, but I can't really be sure. I don't know what to say after that so I change the subject and our conversation continues on its merry way.
About a week ago we're again working together and after finishing some rather taxing work we have some down time. We have lovely back and forth light banter and then I recall that there's a work-related dinner that evening that we were all invited to. I tell her I'll be going and ask if she is going. She states she recalls the e-mail but has had a long day and would much rather just go home and collapse into bed (totally understandable given our line of work). I head off to the dinner anyways that evening.
I really think I should ask her out more formally, but should I be concerned about her comment? Is she thinking too far ahead? Am I over thinking this? Is this a good sign or an indication of "crazy", so don't stick your dick in it? | Appears to be mutual attraction, but she made a comment that indicated she had already thought about marriage and beyond. Should I be worried? |
t3_cxv6v | AskReddit | Reddit, please help me! Left my British Passport on a Thomas Cook flight and can't find anyone to help me get it back - anyone know someone at TC? | I am a dual citizen of Canada and the UK. I was flying back to Canada and had my Canadian passport in my jacket pocket, ready for customs, while my UK one was in my backpack.
Because the plane was full, I was forced to put my backpack under the seat instead of in the overhead. I was in the very last row and the backpack got moved around a bit as I went to retrieve things from it (iPod and such). I think it was then that the passport fell out and I didn't notice until I got home later in the day.
I went back to the airport but they just shrugged their shoulders, called baggage, the cleaning crew and said they didn't have it. I am convinced that because I was in the last row, it's hidden back there and won't easily be found.
I have tried calling Thomas Cook, but they have almost zero presence in Canada, almost all their offices in the UK. When I did call the UK, they had me on hold for 55 minutes before I was cut off. I called back, put on hold again and never got through.
I called the British High Commission in Canada and they don't issue passports anymore and have sent all the information down to Washington, DC. I can report it missing/stolen but then I have to go through the entire application process again, including getting my parents birth certificates and everything - believe me it was a nightmare.
Also, and I know... I should have this written down... I don't have the passport number so I can't write a police report. The situation is grim. | I need to contact someone at Thomas Cook airlines that will be able to go on their plane with registration GOJMC and look under the seats (or in the seatback) of seat 44H. |
t3_2ymlwx | dating_advice | Am I messing things up by being too intellectually curious in people I date? | So pretty much the last few people I've dated have all been for fairly brief periods of time, but the really confusing thing for me is that none of these potential romantic interests fizzled out because we didn't get along; it's completely the opposite. Of all these girls I recently dated, on our first date we had really mutually engaging conversation for like 2-3 hours. But I have a feeling its because I don't really show physical attraction or have problems doing this. As I have indicated it's been no problem getting girls I've met like twice to come on a date and talk engagingly for several hours without knowing anything about them but I don't exactly remember giving any of them compliments or anything like that. Is this the problem? Am I being unfair inviting girls on dates and then not displaying *physical* attraction? Like with a few of these girls after showing them a really good time; making them laugh, talking, smiling etc. when it comes to saying "goodbye" I'm just too busy thinking about how socially interesting the whole thing was rather than thinking about giving them a kiss or how hot they look.
Its almost like this sort of physical thing means nothing to me and I realise that's probably quite a problem because it makes me wonder if I ever want to "date" them in the first place, is this sort of thing 'unfair' or 'leading on' do you think?
Sorry in advance, these are probably fairly dumb questions but in this whole dating field I feel like I know absoultely **nothing**. So you may have to explain very simple stuff. | Am I being unfair by inviting girls on dates and giving them everything they want (laughing, interesting conversation etc.) **apart** from **physical** attraction and flirting? |
t3_1xz14c | relationship_advice | Should I [28/F] break up with my [28/M] boyfriend or try to help fix his... problem? | We have been going out about a year now, or should I say I have been going out to visit him? But I don't think the relationship has progressed much. It's extremely hard to carry on a conversation with him and most direct questions get a short sarcastic response (ex: What's your favorite food? Puke. No I mean really, I want to know more about you! It's puke!!) And finally if he does give a real answer it's stereotypical and he doesn't elaborate. "steak" It's like this for every subject.
I've told him I want him to communicate more, but he just says that's how he is. He doesn't have m(any?) friends outside of business. It was a relief to be with him since my last long term relationship was with a guy so chatty and needing me to discuss everything.
Nonverbally he's very affectionate which is what attracted me in the first place. Still it's frustrating to not know what he thinks of me as a person besides a warm body. I'm afraid I'm being a huge doormat because I'm always the one visiting on weekends, giving gifts, initiating conversation. I used to justify that because when we'd eat out he'd buy, but we haven't eaten out in a while.
While it's ok to tone down the gift giving on holidays since commercialism really goes overboard, it's not cool to ignore the traditions all together. And yes, this Valentines since we weren't able to meet I sent him a heartfelt handmade card. He called to say a simple thank you, but didn't even say a simple Happy Valentines Day to me. Is he using me because of my tolerant nature or do you think he might have a social disability and just doesn't know how to treat others? Is there a way to help him through this? | My BF may have a social disability or he may just not give a crap about me emotionally. Help him or leave him? |
t3_2tsfrw | legaladvice | Breach of Contract Boyfriend living with me | [TX, US] Hello u/legaladvice! I have never posted a question before, so please pardon my rediquette. Also, I searched, but could not find the answer to my question. If y'all know of one, I would appreciate it if you could point me in that direction.
A good friend and roommate of mine had a bit of a falling out a few months ago. When I tried to get her to pay me some money that she owed me, she threatened to have her parents tell the leasing manager that my boyfriend is living with me when it is prohibited to do so.
Eventually, she said she would not tell the front office, but she wasn't too happy about it. Thing is her word does not mean much to me anymore, so I am just trying to cover my bases. Should the office find out, my boyfriend and I would be evicted, but that is the extent of my knowledge.
I was hoping to get a better idea of what could happen. Would I have it all on some sort of record, would I have to pay the rest of the lease, could I be arrested? I really want to know if it would be to my benefit to just asap, because my roommate really cannot be trusted.
Thank you all so much. | What happens (generally) when you get evicted from an apartment complex? Any serious shit, you know, like worse than being homeless for a while? |
t3_2pjua8 | relationships | Me (21/M) got girl's (21/F) number this past Saturday....won't see each other for a month, what to do | Basically, I am a college student. I ran into a friend randomly on a night out and started chatting up her cute friend. We were really flirty, she seemed to like me so before I left with my group, I got her number.
Thing is, this was the last night before our one month winter break. I texted her and we've sent a few texts back and forth. Normally I'd try to go out with her, but that's impossible for now with the break.
How do I go about communicating during this month off? I don't want to text too much obviously, but I also don't want her to forget and I want to be clear with my intentions. But I can't like ask for a date in January.
Tips on keeping her interested? | Just got college girl's number, we are on break for a month. How do I keep her interested for when we get back to school? |
t3_1iea78 | relationships | My boyfriend (22m) is always on his computer or phone and it's driving me (19f) crazy. I need advice! | My boyfriend is always on his phone or computer. He knows that it really bothers me and has made multiple false promises to cut back. Whenever he's on either of the two and I try to talk to him, he either will flat out ignore me, answer me five minutes later, or snap at me for bothering him. It hurts that I just can't spend time with him like I want to anymore.
A couple days ago I had a hysterical breakdown because I've been having a tough time lately with a lot of things and he completely ignored me. So in hopes of him getting off of his computer to talk to me, I texted him explaining to him how I felt and why I was crying. He just looked at his phone and went back to his computer. That really hurt.
I can't seem to get him off of either of the two to spend time with me and hang out. I don't want to constantly complain to him about how I feel in fear of sounding like an annoying, nagging girlfriend. He hardly pays any attention to me. I want to feel more important than his computer and phone. I want to spend one on one time with him rather than sitting on the bed waiting for him to get off his computer.
So what do I do? I'm really desperate for advice. | My boyfriend is always on his phone and computer and just ignores me. I can never get him to just spend time with me. |
t3_4hdktd | relationships | Looking for help dealing with my [35M] dog's sadness after a breakup | I've been with a girl for about a year. She had two dogs when I met her, one she had for 4 years and one recently adopted (let's call him Toby). About 6 months into the relationship we adopted a 3rd dog and we had a pretty great dog family. Well, we recently broke up and I kept Toby, as he does better where I live than where she lives. She kept the other two dogs. Toby has had a "brother" for over a year and a "sister" for the past 6 moths, so almost always had another dog to play with. That's gone now and he's visibly sad, less energetic and more withdrawn.
Even though I'm coping pretty well with the breakup (after watching some good YouTube self help videos), every time I look at Toby my heart breaks all over again. I hate that he's suffering as a result of my relationship not working out. I know I can give him all the love he will ever want, but he needs a sibling and I'm not really in a position to adopt a second dog on my own right now.
I realize that I'm likely projecting my own sadness onto Toby and it's probably part of the grief and healing, but it's hard to handle the feeling that I tore him away from his family. Any advice for those of you who "split up" the furry kids after a breakup?
Thank you. | Dog is sad after losing his "siblings" during a breakup, looking at him breaks my heart and is making dealing with the breakup harder. |
t3_1ksvkj | relationships | I (m23) want to improve communication between a girl (21f) I've been seeing but not sure how. | So this girl and I have been sort of seeing each other for almost 2 months now and it's been great. Ive known her for awhile but within the past two months shes been coming around since we have mutual friends and we just sort of started hitting it off.
We go out for drinks with mutual friends and her and I have gone to dinner together and had a few small casual hang outs. She had stayed the night with me most times when we've hung out and we have had sex 3 times now which has been great. I really like this girl and Im under the impression that she likes me as well but outside of when we hangout we don't really talk at all. I travel for work so we only hangout on weekends and when I'm gone during the week we don't really talk. I'll get the occasional snapchat and I'll send her some too but aside from that there is hardly any texting or small talk.
If we do text its usually initiated by me regarding setting up a time to get together and she takes a while to respond which i'm not complaining about because she is in school and i know she is busy but i feel like it makes it a little harder to have a small talk/texting conversation (maybe it isn't and I'm over thinking). I understand that some people don't really like to text and are annoyed by forced small talk because I don't like to text a lot either sometimes but I wonder is she like this with just me or other people too? Bottom line is I like this girl and I want to talk to her a bit between hangouts but I'm not sure how to do it without it coming off as forced. How can I improve our communication? | I've been seeing this girl for about two months now. I like her and I'm pretty confident she likes me but we don't talk much between hangouts. How can I improve this? |
t3_38ke2z | relationships | Me [25F] with my roommates [23F] [27F] who keep leaving the front door wide open... | We are three foreign women living in Jerusalem. We live on a campus but security is kind of lax here.
Two weeks ago we had a strong heat wave and my roommates decided to leave the front door open for most days. I didn't say anything for a few days-hoping it would just stop. It did not. So one day the front door was wide open at 9:45 in the evening and I decided to speak to them about this.
I asked them what they would do if someone entered intending to harm them or with a weapon. The younger roommate asked if this was a serious question or a "mad" one. I said it was a realistic question. She said that she would scream and others would hear her and help her. I didn't know what to say to that. Then she started talking about how hot its been. So I said "So get a fan-in fact I'll pay for half the cost". The younger roommate said "No-it's not about the money".
It has been cooler and the door has been closed (I've been locking the door to my room). However, this roommate refuses to speak to me now. Any time I say morning or good night or thank you she will not say anything back, she will look away and nod her head awkwardly. She is in my small graduate program and I suspect she has been talking behind my back-which I can do nothing about. Last night even on my way back from a night out, I ran into her and friends eating on the lawn outside and I asked how they were, we talked about our evenings. Still she did not even look at me or say anything to me, not even good night.
It will only get hotter, and I assume this problem will return. I'm making plans to move out. I'm just kind of hoping there is something I can do-beyond being civil and asking her twice (directly) if there's anything we should talk about. Thanks | Roommate does not speak to me after I ask her to keep the front door closed. My only option is to move out right? |
t3_2u09zv | relationships | I (23) am finally over my ex (F21) and now I want to be friends with her - How long should I wait to message to meet up? | I (23) am finally over my ex (F21) who had been living me for a year and after a month of no contact, I'm ready to be friends with her. I'm pretty sure I don't miss her as a girlfriend, I just miss her as a friend now e.g. I saw her at uni yesterday and didn't feel like "butterflies" or the urge to go over and say hi. But I'm scared she's not ready to be friends with me yet and/or I don't want to ask her to hang out if she's just going to tell me no because I'm scared she's gonna think that I'm wanting to hang out with her in order to try and win her back. Which will then lead to an even more prolonging of not being able to meet up with her as a friend. But I'm NOT trying to win her back, I'm done! I've come to terms with us not being able to be together (she's leaving the country for good in 6 months, among other reasons). So should I wait longer or should I just ask her? | After living with an ex for a year and having no contact for a month, I want to be friends again, but should I ask to meet up as friends now or should I wait longer until I message her? |
t3_xlkme | relationships | Was I wrong to have freaked out? | Girl is 21 and I am 24. Well to brush on the past I have had problems with my girlfriends inability to be responsible, rather it be waking up on time or going to school or having money. Well, today I saw her birth control and I jokingly picked it up and was like "you been skipping on me?" I seriously didn't even notice until I saw her face and then actually checked and she hadn't taken a pill since Monday. To top this all off we had sex at 4am today and I came inside of her. I freaked out. I just started yelling and went into a blind rage. She hadn't even taken today's yet and hadn't planned on getting the plan b pill because its hard for her to get pregnant and therefore she "didn't need it." I just went ballistic and couldn't believe that she was going to keep this from me. I told her she had two choices, either take plan b or we were done because I was fed up. She decided to take the pill, but I had to pay for her mess up because she didn't have any money.
Am I wrong? Isn't this completely irresponsible and outrageous or is skipping the pill for a couple days not a really big thing? | Girlfriend skipped pill for days and let me come inside of her. I freaked out and told her to take the morning after pill or we are breaking up and I'm moving out. |
t3_hcoyu | AskReddit | So I was in a really awkward situation... | I just turned 18 and I had my birthday party out in the middle of no where just gettin' tore back with all my friends. This girl shows up, and she's not bad looking, definitely not gorgeous though. I didn't know her, and in my drunken stupor I said something along the lines of, "Heeeellllooooo my name is ***** whoooo aree you???? It's my biiirrrthhhhhdayyy... FUCK YEAH!" So I was hanging out with her for awhile around the camp fire, got to know her and what not, and she ends up telling me that she is only 15. At this point I'm like OFF FUCKING LIMITS GTFO BITCH. I guess I kind of hurt her feelings, and she went to be comforted by someone that she knew who happened to be a really close friend of mine. My friend, whos name I won't disclose, is 20 years old. The 15 year old girl and my 20 year old friend ended up doin' the nasty, and not only do I feel awkward, I almost feel kind of responsible... I feel like I should have protected her from a situation like that even though I didn't know her. She was only 15 and was incredibly too drunk to make good decisions. What should I do? Should I contact this girl? Should I approach my friend about the matter? | At my 18th birthday party some 15 year old chick got boned by a 20 year old, and I have a slight feeling that it's somewhat my fault. |
t3_3xsvnx | relationship_advice | I (22/m) got invited by a friend (21/f) that I used to be romantically involved with to a local Christmas market and I don't know if she intends it to be a date. | My friend and I have known each other since freshman year of college, and this year when we began the semester both of us were just out of relationships. After spending the day together for the second day in a row I ended the night by kissing her. After this we went on several dates and were spending a ton of time together, and in that time we both found out that we'd had crushes on each other for a while. But it ended when she decided she didn't want to get into another relationship right away. I was fine with this and we continued to be friends hanging out at least once a week.
Now the semester has ended and it's been a couple of weeks since I've seen her so the other day I texted to see what was up. We chatted for a while until she mentioned that she was going to the local Christmas market in the next couple days with her little sister. After I said the Christmas market was cool because I'd seen it last year she said I could come too. I responded by joking about how fun going to the Christmas market with her and her sister sounded and said maybe. She immediately responded to clarify that "yes that was an invite" and that if I didn't want to go around with her sister we could go do something else christmas-y together, so I said I'd go.
I didn't think much about it at the time, but now that the day that we are going is coming up I can't help but wonder if she intends this to be a date. I would try to gauge the situation myself but I'm terrible at that. I would ask her directly, but I'm worried about coming off as someone that's spent the last semester pining over her because of our history. Basically I don't want to approach it as a date and then scare her off if I'm wrong, but I also don't want to assume it's not a date and ruin things by seeming disinterested.
Is there any really obvious way to tell if she thinks it's a date? Is it too weird and forward to ask her if it's supposed to be a date? | Friend that I have a history with invited me to the local Christmas market and now I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a date. |
t3_1geile | relationship_advice | I've [33M] dated someone [28F] for 2 weeks but have little physical and no sexual attraction. I'm worried. | I've been dating a woman for just over two weeks. We've seen each other about four times in that period. I've got an intellectual attraction to her as well as some small physical attraction (beautiful smile, bold eyes), but I have no sexual attraction at all and am not confident that I'll be attracted given more time with her. I'm worried that she might have more physical and/or sexual attraction to me than I do to her. I don't want to hurt her (or anyone for that matter).
I don't date often and I'm definitely a worrywort. Should I just let this play out a bit longer or should I be honest and up-front with her when I see her next so she doesn't potentially get hurt more? | Dated for a couple weeks, little-to-no physical/sexual attraction. Worried that she has more attraction to me than I to her, and I don't want to hurt her. |
t3_1z3kso | personalfinance | Update: Help with disputed medical bill accidentally in collections - I want to just pay it off! | Hey folks, I just paid of both of my accounts off. Both the doctor's and the hospital said it probably didn't even show up on my credit yet. Both offices allowed me to pay them directly and they both said that it'd be pulled from collections. In both instances they initially tried to forward me to the collections agency but when I politely asked if I could pay them instead, I didn't even have to explain and they were kind enough to take my payment through the phone or show me that you can still pay through the website.
Looks like I might have survived with no ding to my credit! I'm one of those unlucky souls for whom annualcreditreport.com asks for further manual verification, so I'm going to have to double check manually in a month or so. | Looks like showing goodwill and being polite works for the most part, at least for small and recent medical bills. If you can sidestep collections, do it. |
t3_1nlt3s | relationships | Me [23 M] with my ex-girlfriend who i would like to date again [21 F] dated for a year have been broken up for 10 months and friends with benefits for 4 months, i don't know what to do. PLEASE HELP im having panic attacks! | Be sI will try to be as brief as possible. My ex and I broke up around a year ago. It was a really bad break up and we didnt talk for a long time.recently I ran into her at a party and we started to hangout again. This were normal friendship stuff until one day we hooked up. We ended up being in a friwnds with benifits relationship that has turned into a open relationship. The problem is that I have strong feelings for her and I would likr to date her again but she keeps on telling me she doesn't want to rush into anything because if we try again she wants to make it work. She also is not ready for a really serious relationship and she wants to see where this goes. I have no idea what to do. I'm having a hard time knowing that she may be talking to other guys. Any advice on how to get back into a relationship with her out how to deal with stress? | Im in an open relationship with my ex.I want to date again she's not ready. I need advice on how to expedite that process. |
t3_mt7k6 | AskReddit | how do I tell my parents I need a break? | I'm almost halfway through my junior year in university, and I just can't do it anymore. I have panic attacks about finishing in 4 years, about being employable because I won't have any real world skills, about my less-than-stellar grades, about changing majors... I struggle with mild depression, and I think changing my routine will be good for me, and hopefully will help me decide where I want to be headed.
I need a break, reddit. I'd really like to do an EMT training program while working part time and volunteering at the hospital, then hopefully work as an EMT for a while to see if health services is something I can get in to.
But how do I tell my parents? My dad, in particular, won't be happy about it, since he dropped out of college and ended up never going back. | college junior needs a break, has major first-world problems. is kind of whiny, asks internet for help on breaking news to parents. |
t3_3ey3mo | relationships | I (20M) just revealed my feeling to her (19F). She likes me too, but she just told me she's also been talking to someone else and doesn't know what to do. | So I met this girl about a month ago and we hit it off immediately. We don't live in the same town unfortunately as she's part of my friend's other friend group whom all live in Davis, CA (I'm in LA). For me, I don't care about distance, I'm not really the type of guy that has girls falling over him (I've never had a girlfriend) so I want this to happen. So just recently I decided to stop beating around the bush and tell her that I like her. She tells me she likes me back and I'm feeling great, but in the saying sentence, she says she wants to be completely honest with me and tells me she's also been talking to someone else whom she met around the same time as me. So you know, I guess for a normal guy that just means you have to try harder. But for me I immediately felt defeated. Every time I've *ever* liked anyone, this has been the situation, and history tends to repeat itself. There's always been another guy, I've never been the one to get the girl. So everything felt all to familiar and I told her I didn't want to leave my feelings up to 50/50 chance, and the odds are already stacked against me (they live in the same town, she met him first). It just sucks knowing that each moment that goes by when I'm not talking to her, he's probably making himself look good. I don't know what to do, I almost ended it last night because now that I know that, I can't bring myself to basically compete for her affection. I'm not the type of guy who, even if the opportunity presented itself would juggle two people like that. But right now the next thing I say to her might make or break this. I need some help. | I like a girl, she likes me, but she also likes someone else. Every time I've liked someone this has been the situation so I already feel discouraged, and I've told her so. |
t3_3zfum2 | pettyrevenge | Pouting over the laundry I do? We'll see about that. | My husband is ridiculous about his dirty laundry. Nothing makes it into the hamper (next to it, sure, but not IN) and he likes to hang shirts and pants he plans on re-wearing over the tops of the doors. The door laundry also never made its way to the hamper, so I would pull it down on laundry day to wash it. He got upset once about it, so I quit gathering the door items for washing and told him to put the laundry in the hamper when he wanted it washed. Then he got upset I WASN'T washing those items because he never remembered to put his dirty laundry in the hamper. I finally told him to pick one or the other because I wasn't going to have him complain anymore about putting me in an impossible situation. He said to go ahead and wash the door items which is what I do.
It's been years since we hashed that out. I usually get up hours before him, so I'm mostly done with laundry by the time he wakes up. If I wash a rewearable item, it is most likely clean when he's ready to get dressed...except this Sunday. I had woken up late and he woke up early because we had a movie date planned. He also woke up grumpy and asked where his grey pair of pants were. When I said they were in the washer, he got snippy with me that they were clean enough to wear and I should check with him in the future. I reminded him of our agreement, but he grumped all through our movie and lunch.
As revenge, I hung most his shirts inside-out on the hangers. The best part his shirts are those sports polos, so it's really easy to overlook if they are inside-out or not and he never pays that much attention when dressing. Enjoy making a fashion statement, dear. | Husband complains about his clothes being laundered. I gave him a reason to complain by hanging his shirts inside-out. |
t3_379mgd | relationships | I [30M] am worried I'm coming across as needy to my girlfriend [29F] because of recent events..seeking advice | Background: We've been dating for about 3 years now. We are currently sort of long distance because of her job and my schooling, but it's not too far - about an hour by train.
Recently, my maternal grandma was stricken by a stroke, and she is currently in the ICU. My mom is besides herself right now. I'm trying to get a grip on things myself, but since my grandma was admitted, I've been on edge myself, for both any changes in her condition and worrying about my own state of health. Granted, I'm working on it as we speak - I've been running 5K every other day since the beginning of the month and MyFitnessPal is my newest obsession, but I'm still overweight and it's only been a month since I quit smoking and I'm still 20+ pounds overweight.
The day my grandma was admitted, I had a long chat with my girlfriend relating some of my anxieties, and with her humor and wit, she took it all in and made me feel better. Now that these worries don't seem like they've subsided, it's like I really want to talk to her again, but I don't want to come across as needy or clingy and she has her own busy schedule to deal with. Can anyone advise? | Grandma was admitted for stroke. I'm dealing with anxiety regarding her condition and my own general state of health. I want to seek girlfriend's council but I don't want to come across as needy. What to do? |
t3_336b8v | relationships | I'm (19F) a happy LTR (19M), but I'm beginning to have romantic feelings for a new female friend (18F) | Hey, so I've been in a very happy relationship for my boyfriend(19M) for over two years now. I am satisfied with my relationship (sexually, emotionally, etc) but I'm developing a crush on someone else. Normally I would blow this sort of thing off as nothing more than a crush on a new person in my life and put it out of my mind but this crush is on another girl (18F). I have never been romantically interested in or attracted to other women before and I've only had male boyfriends.
This girl is a friend I made in college, we have many classes together and always hang out and study. I've found myself feeling nervous around her and I cant help but check her out because I'm really attracted to her. I kind of just figured that I was excited about making a new friend (who is super pretty). But recently we went on a school trip together. This was the first time we hung out outside of school (i go to community college) and I found myself feeling legitimate romantic and sexual feelings toward her. I caught myself feeling exactly how I do when I have serious feelings for someone.
While I have absolutely no problem with different sexualities and I believe sexuality is fluid and its not as simple as "straight" or "gay" this is kind of freaking me out because its so unexpected. I feel terrible because I feel like I'm being unfaithful to my boyfriend by having these feelings and I feel like I'm wrong for having feelings for another girl who is also dating a guy. I have legitimately no one to talk to about this for multiple reasons so instead I'm just stuck thinking about it. | Currently in a relationship with a guy and always considered myself to be straight but I'm starting to feel strong sexual/romantic feelings toward a new girl friend of mine. |
t3_lnq9p | Parenting | My son is being bullied at school, looking for advice. | My son (8, 3rd grade, small) has, for the past few weeks, been telling me about this other boy at school who has been bothering him. The other boy is in 4th grade and is big for his age. Apparently this older boy has been calling my son names and pushing him down on the playground. Today, my son came home with a huge scrape on his arm from where he fell when this other boy pushed him down; this was when he finally admitted it had gone beyond verbal stuff. He says he talked to his teacher, but he now he does not feel safe at school. We lost his dad last year, so his "protector" is gone and it's just me. I'm so upset I'm shaking, and I'm trying to formulate a plan for what to say when I talk to his teacher and principal. Any of you out there have a similar experience or advice to share? I'd be very grateful. | Older kid picking on my son, and hurt him today. Looking for help from anyone who's been in a similar situation. |
t3_4ejuqr | relationships | Me [24M] with my EX [21F] Shes going on vacation with her other ex, less than 1 month after breakup | Hey reddit,
Need help dealing with this and how to get over it. GF and I broke up about 3 weeks ago, went no contact. I deleted Facebook and started hitting the gym to take my mind off things.
Come today, I go back to Facebook and I forgot I hadn't deleted her. Saw a picture of her in a someone's room that I didnt recognize, turns out it was the other ex from 2 years ago.
Find out through a friend that she is going on vacation with him to a place we were planning to go not that long before she broke up with me. I've now blocked her and the other ex, just wanted some advice:
Best way to get over this? We had a pretty clean breakup, but this is her just trying to rub it in my face. I'm pretty down about it, got back from the gym where I let out all my anger and frustration. She told me she loved me up and down up until the last week before our breakup, I can't wrap my head around how or why she would do this though. I get we're single, and its not my problem anymore.. I guess what I'm asking is, where do I go from here?
Thanks! | GF of 2 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago, now going on vacation with her ex BF from 2 years ago. How do I deal? |
t3_4cj07v | personalfinance | $35,000 currently in American Funds mutual funds. Already maxing IRA, don't have a work 401k, wondering what else to do? | Title pretty much says it. I'm debt free, have a stable job, and think I can swing just about $5,500 in savings annually for Roth maxing out. So I'm happy with that, now just have to figure out how to best leverage this extra $35k.
The money came from a life insurance policy after my Dad passed away 10 years ago. I was 20 at the time, and my family took me to Wells Fargo to invest in a rather cruddy mutual fund. It did make some money, so, kind of yay. On the advice of a federal credit union broker I recently switched out of the demon company Wells Fargo and bought into the morally grey American Funds group. But as I learn more, maybe that wasn't the best move.
So, checking in with y'all fine folks. Like many of you, I received fuck all in financial planning education from family or school and am finally working to become more educated, starting from almost square one. | About $35,000 currently in American Funds mutual funds. Already maxing IRA, don't have a work 401k, wondering what else to do? |
t3_27kif6 | relationship_advice | (23f) wondering if i should go NC with my ex (24m) until he's ready? | Long story short he broke up with me last year. We didn't talk for a couple of months then ended up spending every break we had from school together after Thanksgiving.
He has given me a couple of answers on how he feels about me, twice me having to ask and twice on his own but each answer is different. I asked recently and he said lifes too complex right now I'm really sweet to him and he loves it. Also loves spending time with me but he's busy. (We aren't together) I wasn't asking to get back together but he makes sure he let's me know he doesn't have time for a girlfriend, anytime I ask. I respect this.
However I haven't responded to the message and don't know if I want to. Should I respond and go NC for a while and give other guys who I've been turning down a chance? Or not respond at all and just start dating other guys? ( he's always there for me and never has ignored me or treated me bad)
If I respond I probably was just gonna say....I don't even know anything I think of sounds to dramatic. "Well I'll remove myself from the complexity of it all and move on. Thanks for everything and goodbye?"......ahhhh help!!!! | ex says he enjoys everything we have but life's too complex right now. I don't know whether to just stay around as a friend or remove myself from the equation all together. |
t3_1roem7 | relationships | So am I (M20) stuck as "only" a friend with (F19)? | So I asked out a girl at college who I had started to become friendly with and attracted too and seemed to feel like some sort of connection between us. My friends seemed to think she was also interested in me but she turned me down as she didn't want to risk our friendship.
So anyway, I started to get over my feelings but then she starts to invite me to do stuff with her, like go for coffee together or hang out after College and even suggested coming over to my apartment, just me and her. She had never asked to do these things before I had asked her out.
I found this really confusing so soon (a week or two) after I had just asked her on a date.
Does she mean anything by asking to hang out alone or am I reading into it too much?
Sorry if its a silly question, I don't have much experience with women. | Asked girl out, got turned down but she suddenly starts to want to do stuff together soon after, is there any reason for this? |
t3_4b8ktk | Advice | A dear friend has shut me out. | About a month ago I told a good friend I liked her. I was almost certain she didn't feel the same way, but I had to get closure. As expected, the feelings were not returned. [I even asked for advice on this sub.] I decided to try to get over it. After around 20 days of messin' around at school' she sent me a text saying not to talk to her. I asked her why her salt was so plentiful. She told me it was because I'm annoying. I'll admit, I'm not perfect, and like anyone, I can get on nerves. But I'd only pissed her off once then. I touched her camera because she was taking pictures of me. I wasn't totally comfortable with it. Afterwards, she kissed someone else in front of me on the bus, despite the fact that she said tge reason she doesn't like me was because of her boyfriend. They're still together. The whole thing has made me feel terrible, and I can't help but feel emotionally pulled around. | Told someone I liked them. She had a boyfriend. Recently she kissed someone regardless of this "boyfriend" who *lives miles away.* She shut me out. |
t3_21pd63 | relationships | I'm [17 F] falling for my brother [15 M] | I spend a lot of time hanging out with my brother, we watch films and play videogames together, we like the same music, we swap clothes like jeans and t shirts, my friends all love him and try to make him blush, he's really shy and adorable.
He brought me chocolates on Valentines Day and we pigged out on them while watching Star Trek. I'm super protective of him. We're quite close physically, we play fight a lot. He really is my best friend.
I'm really starting to fall for him, it's really strange and I'm worried I might get carried away and do something stupid like try and kiss him!
I'd be heart broken if things got weird between us. Has anyone else been through something like this? | Really close with my brother, worried I might be falling in love with him, has anyone been through the same thing? |
t3_23gstp | relationships | I'm [25/M] confused about managing my stress and reflecting on a past relationship | Kind of a strange situation. First of all: I'm currently single, broken up with my recent long-term girlfriend since Janurary. I had to let her go because I had a number of severe anxiety attacks going through fall and winter, and I had realized that her - or more precisely the relationship - had been the source of all my stress, and I had to let it go (after a weekend where I was curled up on a couch because my back was so incredibly knotted). This basically came out of left field for her, and it was really painful for both of us.
Cut to a few months later. I'm still trying to sort out my feelings about her, and about myself. I have been seeing a therapist about my anxiety issues, and have recently started medication for them too. But for the past three months I've been torn whenever I see her post online, even just her name. I know I loved her (which is why me breaking up with her was so hard), and I'm still having a LOT of the same longing feelings now, but I don't know if it's still love that wants to work things out, or guilt that wants to make up for my mistakes. And while we never had sex (both Christian), I know that I'm missing the physical side, just even hugs and sitting close to her.
As of last week, I asked her to stop chatting with me for a little bit while I heal and adjust to the medication, but it's been so incredibly hard just to leave things alone, and it's not clearing up my "love vs. guilt" question in my head?
Is there any advice to help settle my mental dilemma? I've been going back and forth for a few months and every time I feel like I make up my mind, I (usually within an hour or two) immediately feel indecisive about it all again. | Broke up due to stress and anxiety among other things, 4 months later still wrestling with whether or not to try again considering changed circumstances. |
t3_vvww8 | AskReddit | My parents are forcing us to be married Catholic (among other things) in order for them to finance our wedding, when neither of us practice the religion. What can we do? | Back Story: My parents agreed to finance our wedding in January. As time has gone on, they are forcing us to do certain things "in order to keep financing" from small things, such as being required to have RSVP cards versus email responses, to forcing us to go through the Catholic preparation classes and getting married Catholic. Yesterday, we told them that my gay brother will be the minister for our separate civil ceremony (we are having separate ceremonies since none of our friends, nor his family is Catholic. So the Catholic ceremony is strictly for my family.) My dad referred to this choice as "hokey" and asked if I had considered the perception of the rest of my family. Now this morning, I find out that he is referring to our civil ceremony as "The Pagan Ceremony".
My Fiance and I can't back out because money has been put down in a lot of places, however I don't want a cent more of their money if they are forcing us to do stupid shit "for financing" and calling our wedding pagan. We can't afford to pick up the rest of the tab on our own. Frankly, they are more stressful than the entire process itself. What should we do? | My parents are forcing us to meet certain requirements to finance our wedding, that directly conflict with what we want. What should we do reddit? |
t3_2zogdf | relationships | My friend [22F] and I [24M] ended our friendship pretty badly. Want to repair! | Alrighty, so I really like this chick back then. Crushed really hard, emotions got in the way, and I got hurt by her when she shot me down.
I tried to keep it cool with her. Part of me back then liked her, which made it really hard. So, I decided to not talk to her and focus on other things.
Out of the blue, she calls me to say that she really misses me and wants to see me over a few drinks. I'm say **Sure! Why not?**
At that time, I was working at a very hostile and toxic job. I was stressed out and I hadn't gotten laid in while..so I thought to myself...why not advance on her?
I tried to hit on her, telling her that we should make out, and all SORTS of foul things. She played it cool, shying away.. I would advance by holding her hand and cuddling with her. I never took it past that.
Creepiness aside.. we had a great conversation and I enjoyed talking to her.
---
We kept texting as if nothing happened..up until I asked her to go to a music festival with me. She said yes, initially. However, as the date approached, she became more stand-offish.
The night before, she texted me to cancel. I told her it was ok and asked why she was acting very hostile towards me.
She said it was because I was being a creep and I tried to take advantage of her. I apologized and I said that I didn't want to pursue any relationship. We exchanged a few bad words and said mean somethings. At the end, she said don't talk to her again.
--
That was over a year ago. I'd like to think that I matured since then. I like her, in a platonic way.
I'd like to have a good friend back.
Yes, I was being a scumbag. I regret it. But I'd like to know from you.. what can I do? | Crush-turned-friend got creeped out by me when we were drinking. I burned a bridge. We had a great friendship going that I would like to salvage. |
t3_50chq7 | relationships | My [22 M] girlfriend [20 F] of 6 months coping with college and distance | We've got a fantastic relationship. Any issues we've had, we've talked out and discussed. Communication is there, the love is there, and similarities and compatibility. Best relationship I've had so basically I'm unwilling to give up just because of a little distance.
Only issue we've been having as of late is that distance between her and I due to her returning back to college. It's stressing her out beyond belief and I (not admittedly) feel the same. I've been trying to de-stress the situation for her, even though I've been going through my fair share of "grief" over it.
Mind you, she's been back for about 4 or 5 days and we've spent pretty much every waking moment together. She called me last night and started crying because she's worried the distance will make our relationship difficult and I don't agree with that for the sake of the fact we'll still see each other often. It's about a 45 minute drive to her college, and I honestly don't mind driving out a lot of the time. Tried to re-assure her that it's important that she goes with her education and to focus on schooling but we could still see one another. I just won't be bugging her while she studies and such.
Am I approaching this the right way or am I kinda biffing it? | Girlfriend in college, about 45 minutes away. She's stressing and so am I. Any good way to go about it or are the decisions I'm making not particularly good ones? |
t3_112v8f | relationships | I [26M] am having trouble talking to my GF [23] about a problem with alcohol. | Hey gents - thanks for taking the time to read this and offer advice. Here is my situation:
I've been dating this girl for three years now, and we've been living together for two full years. Generally, I'd say our relationship is strong - open communication, related hobbies, and great sex.
However, there is one giant, glaring issue that has again reared its head tonight: I suspect my girlfriend has a problem with alcohol.
It's not about the consistency of consumption - she doesn't drink each day or anything like that; instead, when she does drink, she goes overboard. Everytime. She becomes hostile, aggressive, and just really mean. Awful person to be around. She is REALLY awful towards me, especially.
Tonight she did the same at a family gathering (her family, not mine, and hers are more accepting of drinking, but her parents did talk to me about her behaviour). I was late-ish to this thing; when I arrived, she was already very drunk, couldn't talk without slurring, and was exhibiting some pretty obnoxious behaviour.
She told me to "fuck off" and "just leave" [I don't think I did anything to deserve this. I wasn't really supporting her actions, but that's still an unreasonable escalation on her part]. I'm used to this by now, so I can deal with it, but it's coming to a point where I feel the need to talk to her about her actions while drunk.
The problem that will probably occur is that she's very defensive about it; I've tried to broach the subject with her before and it has only come to a enormous fight. It is a VERY touchy subject. | girlfriend drinks to excess and becomes aggressive. I need to talk to her about it, but unsure of how to. |
t3_11ynbb | jobs | Any advice on weird post-interview situation? | I interviewed with a company 3 weeks ago. It was my third interview with them. I met with 10 people, it took the whole day. It was told I was in a group of 3 people that had made it to the final round.
I felt like everything went very well. Everyone seemed engaged in what I was saying and nodding when I explained how my experience had prepared me for this position. All my jokes got a laugh, even killed an impromptu conversation in Spanish. I felt like I was on fire. One of the guys even said "We'll definitely be in contact" when I shook his hand to head to the next interviewer. I sent thank you emails as well.
Well a week ago, I saw the friggin position reposted on Craigslist. I emailed the HR guy asking if they had eliminated the previous applicants and he said they're still deliberating.
What is your take on the situation? This job will put me in the same city as my fiancee (currently 7 hr drive away). It's more than just a job opportunity so I'm having trouble letting it go without hearing a definite answer. Should I try and contact someone other than HR? | Made it to 3rd and final interview, went great, i was on fire. "We'll definitely be in contact soon" was said. Recently saw the position reposted on Craigslist. What do guys? |
t3_26wui9 | dating_advice | (M19) Asking someone out (weird situation) | WALL OF TEXT
So I've always had troubles reading the situation when talking or flirting with somebody and I've been trying to be better about knowing if a situation would be ok to ask someone out or to just ignore it. Anyways, the current issue is that I had to go get fillings done earlier this week, and while I was in the chair waiting for the dentist (took forever, only dentist there that day) me and the technician/assistant whatever that position is called got to talking. She's turning 19 soon so we're around the same age. And it was a really fun conversation, we each were laughing and I enjoyed it. Then fillings started, and when it was done it was pretty much leave the room and get another appointment, don't even say bye or anything to her. When I talk to the secretary, he tells me that I need to do my 6 month cleaning soon, which I had done today. I go in today, get my room, and while I'm waiting, she sees me and comes over. She asks if it's ok if she does my cleaning today instead and of course I say yes. And while she's preparing we're talking a bit and she remembers some of what we had talked about last time. She does the cleaning, dentist comes in, checks, then leaves. As I'm about to leave the room, we're talking and she goes "aww I don't get to see you for 6 months now" and like an idiot I act like I don't hear her because her mask was still on she just says oh that happens sometimes, doesn't repeat herself, and then we say bye an I leave. Go home, feel like a failure for not even asking her to coffee or something, etc. So I guess I'm wondering if it would be weird/creepy at all if I went back to the office sometime soon, ask if she's there, then ask her out? Does anybody think she'd be receptive to that? | Should I go to my dentist and ask out a dental tech I met even when I don't have an appointment there for 6 months? |
t3_3731m5 | relationships | My 25yo boyfriend cross dresses, how to I (21yo female) help him feel comfortable? How do I bring it up? | (21yo female) my incredible boyfriend (25yo) of almost a year recently confessed to me he's been cross dressing for a while.
Now this doesn't bother me in the slightest. I haven't been able to bring it up since (he was very drunk when he told me, understandably)
It would really upset me if he thought that I was avoiding the subject, I just don't want to make him feel uncomfortable and I'm not sure of a way to bring it up without being awkward knob.
I'm the only person he's told and even though nothing on reddit can be traced back to me, I feel like I'm breaking his trust by even posting this. | I just need some advice on how I help him become comfortable in himself. He knows I love him unconditionally, it was very difficult for him to tell me. How do I bring it up? |
t3_p5b5c | relationships | Simply have never experienced this before.. | ...not in friendships, work, anything.
My bf n i have been together for a year n a half, live together and are very happy 99% of the time. We don't fight often, but when we do, its kinda nuts. I have a degree in social science and I pride myself on knowing people very well with little interaction, and being able to predict their feelings/actions/etc in situations etc. My bf is the exception.
Whenever we fight, i am litterally blindsided. I never expect the things that happen to set him off as they do. He continually claims that i "should have" known and when i explain to him my perspective, he doesnt care, cuz he sees it this way and thats all that matters.
Furthermore, I HATTTE fighting...my parents have been together since they were 15 and we've never seen them argue. Obviously, its a very uncomfortable situation for me and I am not educated in how to fight with a partner.
I should mention I'm 28, he's 34 and we obviously have had our share of previous long term relationships. | Never know what upsets my bf and end up fighting. Getting insane and he doesnt see my point of view/no compassion or flexibility/scolds n guilts me. |
t3_4t0igb | relationships | Me [18 M] with my crush [18 F] Not sure how she feels. | This is my first post on reddit so thank you for reading and bearing with me!
I've known this girl for about 4-5 years now. She's been a very kind friend and we've talked on and off throughout high school. I had been developing feelings for her for quite a while and eventually decided I'd ask her to prom.
I asked her out (with flowers and a poster), she said yes. Then and there I realized how deeply I liked this girl. We obviously talked a lot more after that whether it was about the upcoming prom or other general topics of interest.
Fast forward to prom, we both have a great time dancing, food, after party, the whole package. I've never been in a relationship before and this was my first prom/dance so I was new to the whole scene but it definitely seemed like she was having a good time.
I really enjoyed spending time with her but sometimes I felt concerned that maybe she wasn't feeling the same way. I tried not to let that feeling bother me.
My main concern is that she can be quite shy and as a result it's hard to tell what she's thinking or her feelings towards me. On the bright side she's been available and willing to hang out throughout the summer.
So I'm not sure how to proceed with this situation. I really like this girl and I'm willing to take the next step. But I don't want to damage our friendship because I misinterpreted signals.
What should my next step be? | Crushing on a girl I've known for years. Not sure what her feelings are towards me. How should I proceed? |
t3_4dw3k0 | relationships | My brother [19M] is playing with two girls emotions and I [16F] don't know if I should tell them? | So the short version is my brother has always been a ladies man, I think he is gross but I have seen the way woman act around him.
Recently my brother has gotten a little to big for his boots and he is pretty much dating 2 girls at once. Both are extremely pretty and both seem head over heels for him.
When I asked him what he thought he was doing he said " why settle for one when I can have two"
This is not the man I grew up with, I don't know what has gotten into that head of is, but I have never been so disgusted in all my life with him.
Should I tell these girls, because I have them on Facebook right now ready to message. But I feel like that is breaking my brothers trust | My brother is dating 2 girls at once and has gotten extremely pig headed, should I tell these girls what he is doing? or is that breaking my brothers trust |
t3_zfsl5 | relationship_advice | [27/f] I'm afraid I might secretly want to end up alone. | I need some perspective.
My last real relationship ended 9 years ago. I've dated a few guys since, but never anything serious. Two years ago, I started sleeping with a guy I had been friends with for years, and who had once been one of my very best friends. His name was Justin. We had casual sex for a few months, no big deal. But then my mother died, and I was suddenly really desperate for someone to love me and be there for me. This happened right around the time that Justin started dating another girl, and the combination was not a good one. I suddenly decided that I needed to confess my love for him, which of course resulted in my humiliating rejection. He kept dating the new girl, which turned out to be an on again off again thing, and for some reason, I was there waiting in the wings every time they were off again. It was awful for me, but finally at some point, I found some self respect and called it off. A year later (about 2 months ago,) I started dating again. I was getting to know a couple of guys, really nice guys that actually wanted to have a relationship with me. But all I could think about was Justin, and how he was the one person I love. I saw him a few weeks ago, and one thing led to another. I went home with him that night, and haven't spoken to him since, but he is all I can think about. I have been sabotaging potential relationships with guys who actually like me because of it. And the worst part is, I know that if things were ever to turn into something real with Justin, I wouldn't be happy, because he is mean and selfish. Yet he is all that I want. I feel like I only want what I can't have. How can I possibly be happy? | Not interested in nice guys that like me, because I think I am in love with an asshole who doesn't want me. I only want what I can't have. Help? |
t3_1v8joc | relationships | I [24F] lied in the beginning of a relationship with my [31M] partner and now things are getting more serious I'm not sure how to address it. | A little while ago, I entered into what was explicitly supposed to be a casual, physical-only relationship with my current partner. However, as they are wont to do, emotions reared their heads and we started to develop more than physical-only feelings for each other and are talking about becoming monogamous/entering into a defined relationship.
This is great! I like this guy a lot and we're very compatible; I'm pleased and proud to possibly be dating him. But I have a slight problem.
I have a terrible, terrible relationship with my mother. She was physically and emotionally abusive when I was younger, and while the abuse largely stopped my last two years of high school, I maintain the semblance of a relationship with her only because she is paying my student loans. Loans that I was actually forced to take out because my parents reneged on a promise to pay for my school after I'd already committed to an expensive institution rather than a more reasonably priced one, I might add. In any case, I don't love her, and I'm planning to cut her out of my life entirely once I can afford to pay all the loans myself. She and my father have an awful, disgustingly bad marriage that I was constantly ashamed to have to show significant others or friends when I was younger.
To get around this nastiness, I lied at the beginning of the relationship with my current partner and simply said that my parents were dead. I know this is a bit extreme, but I didn't (and frankly still don't) really want to talk about the abuse and the current financial entanglements. While I didn't feel so bad about this when in a casual, FWB situation, I think the deception isn't acceptable for something more definite. But now I don't know how to raise the issue without going into an in-depth explanation for why I feel so strongly about this and why I deceived him. I'm also worried about blowback. Does anyone have any advice about this transition/reveal? | lied and said my parents were dead. They're not. How do I gracefully explain without claiming divine intervention/zombie parents? |
t3_gki8v | AskReddit | I can't stop hitting my upper thigh. What is wrong with me? | For the past few years I have enjoyed hitting my upper thigh. When I am bored to occupy myself, when I am nervous to cope with stress, and when I am tired to wake myself up. I get a rush similar to a drug like high and get feelings of euphoria when I do it to excess. I thought this was very odd and didn't tell anyone about it, I never bruise and I work out several times a month and never notice any problems as far as exertion goes so it didn't seem like a problem.
Recently, I explained this to a couple friends of mine and we all started doing it during choir (I'm in high school) to both keep ourselves entertained and because they discovered they get a rush from it too. We even hit eachother (like playing mercy or whatever) back and forth. I get a high from this as well.
I don't like hitting myself anywhere else on my body and feel like this is an odd behavior. It seems like masochism to me, but beyond hitting my leg I don't like pain at all and if I were ever stabbed there, shot or even just hit hard by a foreign object I wouldn't enjoy it at all.
I smoke weed and drink on occasion so I know what it is like to be under the influence of a drug, and I have to say that the feeling from this is similar. I start to giggle and feel very energized, this is accompanied with feelings of euphoria. My friends agree with me on this and feel similarly. Is there something being released into my bloodstream? It wouldn't really make sense, but I'm trying to think of a reason why I enjoy this.
Can you help me out reddit? Thoughts? | I get a rush from hitting my upper thigh and I have told some friends and after trying they get one too. Why do I get a high from hitting my thigh? Is it masochism? |
t3_uht0b | dating_advice | I don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to give up on her but I'm running out of options (Advice needed) | Long story short: Me (M) 20 Her (F) 19 I've liked this beautiful girl who lives in my neighborhood ever since she moved in 3 years ago. Today she moved out to live in an apartment on her college campus for the summer.
The problem is I've barely spoke to her because she had a boyfriend she spent a lot of time with, and I also had a girlfriend at the time. We also go to different schools. I know you guys might think its stupid that i like this girl I've barely talked to but it's hard to explain.
Well she broke up with her boyfriend while we were at school and I was super happy and couldn't wait till summer to get here so I could get to know her more and finally ask her out. But I found out from a friend who knows her that she was moving out to go to summer school.
Well today was that day. This suxs so much. The problem is I can't tell her how I feel because it will come out as creepy and stalkerish.
Every time there is finally an opening to finally making a move something comes up and prevents that.
I don't know what to do, I really don't want to give up on her but I'm running out of hope. Hopefully she will come back home a lot to give me a chance. | Girl I've like for 3 years is now moving out of the neighborhood to go to summer school. Can't tell her how I feel because it will come out as creepy and stalkerish. |
t3_1ch0z8 | AskReddit | Neighbor leaves cat outside in freezing conditions all day, what should i do? | Not sure if this is the right subreddit but i just need some advice. I am a college student living in Colorado where it can get quite cold. Our neighbor who i assume is also a college student has a cat that they leave outside during any weather conditions. The cat sits on my porch and waits to try and run inside to get warm. The cat only does this on very cold days. I called the number on his tag once and the owner's mother answered and said she would contact her daughter. Her daughter called me back and said that she leaves the cat outside all day while she works. It dips below freezing and there is 15 inches of snow on the ground, this seems unacceptable. What should i do? | Neighbor leaves cat outside in 15 inches of snow all day and cat tries to come in my house. i feel bad for cat but have an allergic roommate so cant take him in during the day. Advice? |
t3_3s7v41 | relationships | me [28M] living with GF [25f] of 2 years. My attraction to her has completely reversed to the point that I am grossed out by her. | I fell in love with my girlfriend early on in our relationship. She was perfect. Attractive, motivated and on a solid career path.
She put the upmost care into her appearance and always looked great and smelled even better.
Over the past two years, we have had some pretty serious fights, several coming close to ending our relationship. despite those fights, we would have long stretches where things felt right.
But, over the past year or so, her appearance and more importantly her hygiene has fell to the wayside.
She never puts in an effort to look good for me, and I find myself smelling odours regularly that were never present when we were intimate at the beginnings of our relationship.
My sense of smell is particularly sensitive and these smells in addition to her appearance have killed my attraction to her.
We have been living together since the beginning of the summer and it has become even worse. When things turn intimate, I am terrified. She is never fresh anymore, and this is drastically different from when we started dating.
I have brought up my concerns several times over the past year, although not very delicately, and things have not changed. She has revealed herself to be a slob, and I cant stand it and I am repulsed by her.
I either need to break up with her, and I would like to prevent any damage to her self esteem
or find a way to approach the topic with her where she wont automatically become defensive and hysterical, have her actually make changes so that things can go back to how they were | Over the span of 2 years, my girlfriend has revealed herself to be a slob, she stinks and im repulsed by her |
t3_2atjdt | relationships | [20M] How to introduce myself to [19F] | So heres the story, i used to be a delivery guy and delivered to this one girl my first week there, when she opened the door i noticed she was wearing some band mercy for a band i knew quite a lot about, i thought about mentioning the band or striking some sort of conversation but i didn't and left it at that.
Forward a couple months ahead, id recognize her address on our delivery screen but always ended up taking something else other than her order until i eventually got a second chance which i didn't take either, i know i know i really should have ugh..
So now over half a year later i found her on Facebook on my people i might know page with just one mutual friend who i rarely even talked to so i added her, she accepted.
Now I'm clueless as how to go about it since i don't wanna seem like a creeper or stalker, i just found her to be very cute and if she likes the band i recognized and anything like them then we have lots in common.
How can i go about this the right way and introduce myself? note i still work at the same place just not in delivery anymore | Delivery driver delivers to beautiful girl, wimps out and doesn't start a conversation, finds her on Facebook and adds her and she accepts the next day, now what? |
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