id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_10g84h | AskReddit | What's wrong with Reddit ? | I joined Reddit a while back because it seemed there was some good conversations where people, even if they have different views, can express themselves and so on. I usually wouldn't join such a site, but I really did, at some point at least, enjoy the very good views added to many articles. Those views, the ones I didn't have when I read the articles on my own are why I am here (not with this account, this account is for science).
Lately I've noticed a trend where polite and fair replies/opinions/views get downvoted and receive many insults. Meanwhile, many two word, useless replies get upvoted and end up hiding all the good stuff.
So what is wrong with Reddit ? Has it always been like this ? Have I just realized what Redditors are really like ? Are there more and more closed minded people with Internet access and too much free time ?
What ? Why ? And if so, When ? | I thought Redditors were intelligent AND courteous but I feel like smart replies are getting buried more and more under shitty comments. Is it me or has it always been like this ? |
t3_47z88j | relationships | Help: Me [19 F] with my ex [19M], I can't stop thinking about him and wanting him back, but I feel crazy. | I met a guy from school online, we talked for a month, and officially dated for one month -- the duration of us was 2 months. We got super close super fast, and the breakup caught me off guard. He cited not having enough time to see or talk to me due to hectic schedules as why he ended it, not due to a loss of feelings or fight or abuse or cheating.
We didn't talk after the breakup for a few days, but then we talked again; he wanted to be friends, but it hurt me too much. About a week after that I told him I couldn't keep talking to someone who I had intense feelings for (we both said we were starting to love each other) that I could never have again, and the no-contact period has been going on a few weeks.
I still see him around campus and it makes me sad to not talk or have that relationship we had that I thought was going so well. We talked about future plans and got along great and he ended it suddenly.
I still have feelings for him and miss him and just want him back. I'm giving myself time to heal so I don't want to talk to him about it, but I literally cannot get him out of my brain. Should I try to reach out in a few weeks and get him back and how? or let go? Am I crazy? HELP! | Ex broke up with me, we aren't talking, I can't get him out of my head and I can't stop wanting to get back together with him. |
t3_35x5px | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 10 months, when she gets stressed or upset by something, she acts cold towards me. | Me and my gf have a good relationship, we've had our ups and downs but we always make up and we're always having fun with each other.
The only issue I have is that whenever something upsets her or she gets stressed out, she acts very cold towards me. We will be texting and she only replies with "no" or "ok" or if she's really bothered by something, she'll just say "night" and not text me for a little while. Whenever this happens, at first I thought it was because of something I did or said, but after she gets into a better mood, she'll tell me that it was something else that was bothering her.
I guess my question is, is this fair? Is it fair for her to act like that towards me when I have nothing to do with what upset her? And I also try to cheer her up, but I can rarely seem to do so. It's usually her friends that will cheer her up, and I'll be honest it hurts me that I can't cheer her up like that but I've just come to accept it. | My gf treats me coldly when she gets upset by things that have nothing to do with me, is it ok for her to do this? |
t3_15s3cp | relationships | How to move on after a big fight? [f/23; m/26] | My boyfriend of one year and I got into a huge argument last night. This argument was on the heels of a series of smaller ones for the past couple of weeks, and we almost broke up last night.
We discussed it, talked about the problem on both our ends, and he said he doesn't want to break up because I'm great when we're not fighting.
If my past has any bearing, I'm going to start worrying that things aren't going to be okay and that he's judging me constantly. I know that when he says things are fine and he's moved on, then in his mind, things are fine and he's moved on. I just get worried that things are secretly NOT okay, and I get anxious and it sabotages the relationship.
How do you go from "big giant fight angry with each other grr" to "okay, we're okay now," Reddit? I won't even see him until tonight (haven't seen him in a few days, actually), so this has all been over the phone, but I worry about things being awkward when I go over to his place later today. | bf and I got in a huge argument. Almost broke up. He says things are OK but he clearly still needs to cool off. How do I keep from fretting my head off and making things worse? |
t3_3a10vc | relationships | I [22 F] am nervous about my long-distance status with my boyfriend [21 M] | So my boyfriend and I have been together over a year and a half and our relationship is amazing/everything I could ever ask for. He just moved 3 hours away (we usually live an hour and a half apart anyways) and I am set to move to the town he's currently in later this summer.
I am worried because I am already getting nervous about how this is going to play out. I'm constantly wondering if something is wrong with our relationship because I am either not thinking of him as much as I did or just because I am a paranoid person by nature and I am freaking myself out anyways.
Absolutely nothing has happened wrong/concerning that should be making me so weird about this longer distance thing. Thoughts/advice please? | Boyfriend moved farther away than he used to be, I am over-worrying that something may go wrong or is wrong. |
t3_1r9r10 | jobs | Submitted at least 50 applications since September, and not a single call back. I've got to be doing something wrong. | My story's a bit of a long one, so hang in there for a moment. Soon before I graduated in August, I got an offer to replace someone at a small printing company. After I graduated, I headed down, aced the interview, and got the job. I hadn't even worked four days when I was indefinitely put on hold due to a sudden lack of business (they couldn't even give their intern 10 hours a week). A check-up call a month later confirmed that I wouldn't be needed again, as they wouldn't even be able to afford another employee for 6 months to a year. Fuck.
Now that that opportunity's gone, I've been keeping an eye on local online postings for graphic design and print jobs, and I've been putting in about five applications a week. However, I have yet to receive a single call back and it's starting to eat away at my morale.
I've been doing everything I'm supposed to; I always have a decent cover letter and my resume looks good and is informative. I just haven't gotten a bite yet and I'm afraid that all I'm doing is adding hay to the haystack. | Been at it steadily for a couple months, not a single call back. Feel like I'm whispering into a crowd. What do? |
t3_4dvtku | askwomenadvice | Is it too long to wait 2 weeks to meet up for a date? | I'll try to keep this short.
I met a beautiful girl at a friend's party last week, I got her on Facebook and we have been talking since and it's been going great. I asked her out a week ago and she told me she'd only be free after her exams which would be 2 weeks from when I asked her out (we didn't really talk about it much after that).
A week has already gone by of me talking with her every day (we text in huge blocks because we're both busy, so we don't really instant message) and to put it in perspective, it won't be until another week goes by until she finishes her exams.
I'm worried that waiting another full week would make our conversation run dry and uninteresting, even though so far our conversations have been great but you can only talk about so much through text. Do you think I should somehow get her number and start talking on the phone? She's quite busy currently, so I'm not sure if it will make a difference.
Do you think I should ask her when she finishes her exam and lock in a date? I don't want to pressure her or keep bringing it up though.
Extra Info: We're both 19 turning 20 this year
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! | Asked a girl out for a date 2 weeks in advanced, now a week has gone by and I'm scared our conversation will run dry before we can even meet. |
t3_33obox | loseit | NSV: I fit back into my cute pants! | My fiance and I moved to Germany last July and I promptly gained between about 10-15 pounds (beer and chocolate, man). All fall and winter long, I either wore leggings under dresses, or the one pair of jeans I could still squeeze into. That left, oh, about six pairs of pants that have just languished in the dresser since September.
Two weeks ago, I realized that there's only four months until our wedding and I seriously needed to get my ass in gear. I've been making good decisions for 13 days straight (yummy salads for lunch; less beer; lots of fruits and veggies for snacks instead of chocolate) and I've done a 7 Minute Workout (simple, free app) every day for 11 days running...and guess whose pants fit again?! AND, every single day I've worn a "new" (to my coworkers, at least) pair, I've gotten at least one compliment, and usually more like two or three! | if you're struggling with an obnoxious 10 pounds or so, a serious nose-to-the-grindstone approach for even just two weeks can make a HUGE difference! |
t3_fbhvh | relationships | It shouldn't be like this, but I can't bring myself to say anything. Advice? | We're both in our twenties, and have been best friends for as long as I can remember. I've always had really strong feelings for him but never thought he felt the same for me. When we finally got together it was great, and I was so happy that things had finally gone where I wanted them to. We love each other, and know that we're each others' soul mates, but because we live together we argue a lot about minor little things and get so pissed off sat each other for it. Recently, I've been feeling like he's lying to me about where he's been and who he's with and I feel like we're still just best friends that kiss (at home; never in public). I guess I feel like the relationship isn't real, and that he's just stringing me along only to leave me and utterly break my heart in a year or two. The feeling that the relationship isn't real, or is only partly there is killing me and I don't know what to do or say to make it better. Every time I do say something, it just gets turned around and shoved back in my face. I'm tired of it, but oddly enough, I don't want the relationship to end. I guess I feel like he's not giving me and this relationship a chance. I should also add that I'm extremely insecure about myself, and have only been in one other serious relationship like this which ended by me being cheated on. Am I just paranoid about being cheated on again? Everyone who knows how the relationship is going says I deserve better, that he's acting really immature. If we were to break up, I feel like I would have wasted the last 5 years of my life trying to get to this relationship only to throw it away after a month. | The relationship I've always wanted with supposed soul mate is failing and I feel like something suspicious is going on. I don't want to end the relationship. I don't know what to say or do to fix things. |
t3_g1nk3 | AskReddit | Hey Legitimate Adderall users: How well has it worked for you? Are you happier? | Growing up my mother was always the type to shun vaccines and "western medicine." She would always talk about doctors diagnosing ADHD as if it was something made up by pharmaceutical companies. I've since embraced rationalism and science. Needless to say, shit makes more sense now.
*Ever since I entered Jr High I used my intelligence it to avoid organization, avoid additional work, avoid memorization, etc.
*I haven't finished a real book since I was ten. I think about everything BUT what I'm reading.
*Even when I read articles online I have to focus hard or else I skip paragraphs and overly skim passages.
*About the only thing that works for me is a sleeping mask and an audiobook, but audio of interesting non-fiction is pretty tough to find. I often settle for recorded lectures.
*By the time I hit college-level math classes I couldn't keep up, simply because I couldn't focus enough to get the concepts down and actually remember them.
*I can't follow conversations I have with people. I tune out several sentences in.
*I've been passed up for raises and promotions because of this.
*I don't remember things that happened simply because I apparently wasn't paying attention at the time.
*My girlfriend hates when I "don't listen," but I'm starting to realize that I **can't.**
*It has become something of a joke amongst people that know me well; this compounds my self esteem issues that already exist.
I've tried numerous note-taking and GTD techniques, but I always manage to screw it up. I'm seriously contemplating seeking pharmacological assistance, but I'm 25 and worried about being labeled as a drug-seeker, potentially not getting the proper care. I've never been diagnosed; I never even thought I had a problem until a few years ago when I realized that something wasn't right.
Even writing this text I've skipped from start to finish, to start, to middle, back to start; I can't even edit text linearly. | I'm 25 and only realized only a few years ago that I have cognitive issues. It has drastically affected my life. Can drugs help me? Did they help you? |
t3_1nllvc | dating_advice | How big of an issue is my age (f)? | I have been seeing this guy (26) for a couple of months now. We get along fabulously, and he is great to have around. There is only one issue: he is ten years older than I am, and because I'm only 16 yet, this could pose a bit of an issue. We both acknowledge the whole no sex thing because it's still illegal. My parents are more than a little on the religious side, and if they found out, i would never hear the end of it. I'd really love for this relationship to continue, and he has expressed that he would like to see it continue as well.
However, he has a pretty extensive criminal record, including a kidnapping charge that occurrred in an instance where he tied a young woman up and left her in her house while he and a buddy robbed her, stole a car, and then tried to escape to a different state. he was caught and went to prison. He is now on parole.
I'm wondering how much of an issue is my age going to be in this realtionship? If we were older, it would be different, but because I am so young, we have to be sneaky as shit, and that's not always easy. | Bf if 10 yrs older than me and has a pretty extensive criminal record. How much of an issue is my age going to be in this? |
t3_22w3u2 | relationships | I [19F] want to go on a short vacay with my SO [21M] of half a year, how do I ask parents? | As summer is coming up, my SO and I wanted to go on a short vacation (likely 1 night 2 days) to a popular retreat that is only 2 hours away from the city we live in. We would pay for this vacation ourselves. Might I add we've been together for 6 months now.
The problem is, my parents are the very worried, I-don't-trust-you type, so I'm not exactly sure how to approach them with this. His parents don't mind him going for vacation as he is a bit older. I'm 19 but I'm quite mature for my age (but they don't think so), and I am a responsible person. I have a job and I get good grades in university.
I know that if I ask them they'll think negatively of it because I'll be alone with a guy and I won't be at home with them. My SO and parents have met for a while already and they seem to be fine with him although they're probably still skeptical of our relationship for whatever reason. My parents are not the most familiar with him, but that's also the problem here; they think that just because they're not familiar with him, I'm not either. My parents are pretty much the type that won't let go of me.
We're really looking forward to spending our first summer together! I'm just not sure how to approach my parents with this situation and how to get their permission and trust. | SO and I of 6 months want to go on a 1 night 2 day retreat 2 hours away from the city we live in, but unsure of how to ask for permission from my untrusting and attached parents. |
t3_f3mex | AskReddit | Are there any movies with realistic ancient or medieval war tactics? | Just finished watching "Arn," and it was ok at first; typical medieval film. There was some discussion of strategy (we should attack here, in the narrow mountain pass) that would degenerate into a battle with no tactics (let's wait in the narrow pass, and then charge with cavalry without using archers or very many footsoldiers).
Then the final battle pissed me off. One side decided to start the battle with a frontal cavalry charge (against a line of infantry?) and the other finally decided to bring out the bows and arrows (which were insanely effective for some reason). Bewildered, the first side's commander then ordered another frontal charge with his second wave. Then the side with the archers decided that it was time to put away the crazily effective bows after only 3 volleys and charge.
sorry for the rant. | war movies set in the ancient/medieval eras often have contain some semblance of a discussion on strategy, but lack tactics. Are there any (besides the first scene of Gladiator) that make some attempt at incorporating tactics? |
t3_358es0 | relationships | Me [22 M] trying to break up with my [21 F] of 2 years who (probably) has Borderline Personality Disorder | Okay, so I really would like to break it off with my current girlfriend. She's great at times, but her mood swings are absolutely killing me. She has many of the characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder. One minute we can be talking about the weather, the next she can be screaming at me and throwing things for no apparent reason. Her explosive temper is usually brought on by very small things, many of which would simply be shrugged off by most people. An example:
Her: I have 2 animals in my house at home.
Me: I've never had an indoor pet. My dogs have always stayed outside except when it gets too cold.
Her: You're a fucking MONSTER. How could you do such a terrible thing?
Starts to scream about how I abuse my pets. Moves on to every other mistake Ive ever made while we were dating. Then insults me for dating certain people (who she doesnt even know) before we ever met.
It really is a nightmare. I have no idea what triggers her or how to even make it stop. The part that makes this whole situation complicated is that we share an apartment together.
I have every intention of moving across the country to be with family (an expensive, 2000 mile trip) as soon as I can. Our lease ends in 4 months, but I'd like to be gone by next month.
I have saved enough to completely pay for 3 months rent to ease the transition of me leaving, after all I make more money and it isn't fair to force the burden of full rent on her.
My question is how do I go about breaking this to her? I've mentioned moving just in passing before, and it devolved into name-calling and door-slamming. My main sticking point is to make this as easy as possible for both of us with as little collateral damage as possible.
(Just an FYI, living with a friend until I actually move is out of the question. The area is new to me and I don't know anyone.) | Trying to break up with girlfriend who has possible BPD. We share an apartment and I'd like to move out as soon as I possibly can. |
t3_46yklj | relationships | Is this a horrible reason to break up with someone? | My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. To put it bluntly, I'm bored. I know how horrible and nasty that sounds but it's the truth. I want to be single again, I'm only 18 (we both are) and have been in long term relationships since I was 14 and haven't had any chance to be single and just mess around a bit.
I broke up with him, he took it very hard asking why I just wanted to give up and not work it out. Now I'm thinking I may have made a huge mistake, I miss him. But at the same time I still want to be single. Obviously I know I can't have the best of both worlds.
Extra info, I broke up with my last boyfriend of 2 years for the exact same reasons. I never really had any regrets about it. I'm starting to think that because I get uninterested like this every time I have a long relationship, maybe I'm just not capable of it right now, perhaps I'm not mature enough. Basically I don't know what to do. Did I make a stupid decision? | Broke up with my boyfriend because I was bored of relationship and feel differently, need advice on whether I made he right choice. |
t3_2oksiw | relationships | Me [17 M] with my ex- girlfriend [17 F] of 6 months, broke up a month ago but is starting to join my social group | So my ex-girlfriend and I broke up after our puppylove period ended. She wasn't really looking for a relationship and it was pretty mutual. She was my bestfriend for about 6 months before we first hooked up and led to dating. I really admire her as a person since she's cool. When we broke up we agreed to stay friends and even though things were awkward we were able to for the most part. The only thing is that my friend group who I've been with for over 4 years has started to hang out with her. It started when my friend started hanging out with her post-breakup as a way to get to her friend and hookup. I'm not worried about any of them getting with her, it's just that she only became friends with them due to me and now I feel like she's taking them away. I know she's working really hard to get into our friend group, but it's hard on me to have to see her everyday. Should I talk to her or just let it go? How long do you think it will be before we can actually be friends again without being awkward? | Ex-gf is becoming close with my friend group and I feel uncomfortable. Should I talk to her or just let it go? How long do you think it will be before we can actually be friends again without being awkward? |
t3_3klk2m | needadvice | Need advice on my job situation... | So short back story, I worked as an engineer in my home country (ireland) before moving to Canada a few months ago. After not securing an engineering job I took a job as an operator on contract with a job agency. I have spent the last 6 motnhs working my butt off trying to impress hoping for a promotion to an engineering position eventually. This evening before my shift I wa called to the managers office where i met him and my supervisor and they basically told me how great I was doing, that I had far surpassed all expectations etc etc, and offered me a full time contract directly employed to them with benefits. I would no longer be working for the agency I was with which was good. They gave me the paperwork and told me to look over it at the weekend and come back on Monday with any questions for HR. I took a quick glance at the paperwork and the wage says $30500 per year. Currently as agency I make closer to $32,000. They are offering me full time but expecting me to take a pay decrease? All that after giving me alot of praise on my performance. I know that if I left the job that production would slow down dramatically, I fell like they realise this also.
Big question is should I go back to them with a counter offer, I will not sign a contract that would see me make less money, regardless of the 'benefits' they are offering. | Offered a full time position to replace my agency position with the company, its for less less money, should I counter their offer?? |
t3_1n8jfd | AskReddit | What would you do if someone ripped of your terminally-ill father? | Dirtbag ripped off my terminally-ill father a year ago, and while my dad was venting to me about all the bad things in his head, he ended up telling me today. Now I know this kid, he's a little 19 year old who was friends with my brother originally.
Anyway, my father told me to forget about it but it made my blood boil that all my dad does is give to people and all they do is take from him. The kid tricked my dad into lending him $120 bucks by saying that his family is starving. My father later found out he used it to buy rave tickets and when my dad confronted him, he just started ignoring my father. My blood is boiling, but I tried to be reasonable and messaged him kindly asking for the money back, but he ignored me too! Should I just let this go? I feel so angry. I also found out the kid has a good job and lives in a nice house, which makes me even angrier. Reddit! Help me!!! He may or may not have ties to meth-using gangster family members. | some kid ripped off my cancer-stricken dad my dad wants me to let it go. what would you do? |
t3_3oep92 | tifu | TIFU by sleeping inside a intercity train | So, this happened maybe twice now but not as bad as the second time, the most recent was about six months ago.
So a little back story, usually I would take a train from where I live to university every day. ( about 1- 1hr 30mins by train, depending on the number of stops.)
However this was the first semester I would finish later then 6pm.
Usually the train I take would arrive at my station around 7 ish if I happen to catch my express train home.
This was not the case this time, I was running for my train only for it to shut on me. first fk up no biggie, I said to myself another train will come in 15mins.
5 mins passed, felt like forever
Now as the impatient person I am, I wanted to get home asap, so I walked out of my normal platform and headed to the intercity train. My assumption was that this train will beat the train I missed to the interchange, in which allowing me to get home on time. Now here is the kicker the intercity train only stops at 3 stops that my train line goes to, now im feeling so ridiculous tired I thought to myself maybe if I close my eyes I wont miss my stop just for a second. BIG MOFO MISTAKE
As I slowly wake up, I look outside. I just realised that I slept, now confused where the hell I was, not only have I missed my stop now im some where in the blue mountains.
The advice i remembered was to get off at the next station and take the train back.
So i got off at springwood station, called the parents if they could pick me up.
Nope both not answering, well fuck
Gotta wait for the next train back to the city . | my impatience got to the better of me and I ended up somewhere in the further waiting even longer to go home. |
t3_4knztc | relationships | My Parents [66F, 72M] want me [29M] to buy them a house. | So I come from a culture (Chinese) where children are often thought of as investments or retirement plans. My parents didn't save particularly well for retirement - my Dad stopped working around age 55, so he's been retired for the last 15 years or so. My mom also recently retired. They don't get much from social security because neither of them were in the work force for that long or earned too much, and yet somehow manage to take luxury vacations every year.
Recently my Dad's been hinting that they're not happy with their rental. It's a cheap and dingy apartment in a high cost of living area, but it's affordable in a place that's become increasingly unaffordable. I give them some money to subsidize some of their rent. They chose to sell their house to fund retirement funds, and I guess that money has been running after some time.
They've been dropping a lot of hints, like that they hate their landlord, they would like to live closer to me, they would like to live in a nicer apartment or house - I think the expectation is that they want me to buy them a house. But on a mediocre salary in a high cost of living city, I probably cannot afford this, nor do I want to go into debt. Real estate is super unaffordable here. Their current rent is considered a steal.
On the other hand, they are getting old, and even though I hate what seems to be their deliberate guilt tripping, part of me feels like maybe I SHOULD sacrifice so that they can live their 'golden years' more comfortably. But I am also resentful because parents made stupid financial decisions like day trading and blew a lot of money, and probably still have enough money saved to get a modest apartment, but is hoarding this for vacations and luxuries. I don't expect any inheritance, nor do I want one.
Am I being selfish? I see getting an overpriced mortgage for the sake of my parents as a 30 year shackle to my cubicle, which is probably pretty literal. | Parents didn't save for retirement, blew their money, not happy with their so-so digs, hinting/guilting me about getting them a new place. Am I being selfish? |
t3_3jryv9 | relationships | I (M 19) am planning on moving in with my girlfriend ( F 19) next year when she gets an apartment | So me and my girlfriend met last summer both expecting to have no serious relationships for the whole summer. I just broke up with my ex and didn't want anything serious. Sure enough I meet my now girlfriend at one of my friends parties and we hit it off instantly and end up dating. We've been dating for almost 5 months now, and she left for college after the summer ended so we are doing a long distance relationship.
No one thought that we would last two weeks into a long distance relationship, but we are still happily together and doing small things like skyping and sending each other letters in the mail. So basically what I'm worried about is moving in I want live with her and see this relationship going on for a long time. We are both very similar to where we think and say the same things. We are that couple that literally finished the others sentence. I was interested in living with her and looked up online to see if it was a good idea.
Over the summer she basically lived with me and slept over at my place for literally two months straight so I feel like we could do this, but I'm not sure if it's too early or if we are to young to be making a decision like this. She really wants me to and even her parents say it's a good idea for us when she comes back for good. I guess basically what I'm asking is for an opinion if it's a good idea and some suggestions or tips to making it work out for the best. | Girlfriend wants me to move in with her next year when she transfers schools. I went online and saw only negative opinions on the idea so now I'm worried. |
t3_2smbfh | relationships | I [30 M] just told my wife [28 F] of 2 years that she talks too much | I have a great, loving relationship with my wife. She is fun, funny, intelligent, and freaking gorgeous. However I have always known, from our very first date, that she is a talker. And by that I mean, mile-a-minute, high volume, conversation dominating talker. Having been this person for a long time, she makes interesting conversation, and it isn't off-putting. But being married and together for every get together and visit with friends I have become accustomed to her being the center of every conversation, and often dominating most interactions with friends. Today I finally had enough, and while I may have been overly "negative" in the moment, it was the only way I could bring myself to tell her that she simply talks too much. That she shuts other people out of the conversation, and overwhelms people who aren't comfortable talking over others or interrupting her.
Of course, this ended badly. She said I deeply offended her, and that this is who she is and I knew that all along. I apologized, but somewhat maintained that I think she should try to respect others and be more inclusive in conversation.
Did I go about this the wrong way? How can you deliver feedback to someone you love about what is, essentially, part of their personality? | I told my wife she talks too much, and now she's mad at me. What's the best way to give bad news even when you know it will offend your partner? |
t3_2jl0sh | tifu | TIFU by having a mobile car mechanic come to my house. | My 2008 Mazda Tribute has a weird problem. It made a grinding noise. A local shop told me it could be something to do with the ABS. I could be driving and it would make this awful noise. When I went to brake the brakes would be jerky. I also recorded the sound just in case.
The sound comes randomly. I never know when it will start doing it.
I browsed Craigslist and found a guy that said that he has 10 years of mechanics. I know mobile mechanics charge less than the shops. I wanted to save money and help out my fellow man instead of paying a shop. Big mistake. I give him a call describe my vehicle and the problem I'm having. He tells me "oh yeah I know what it is.
He comes to my house. He tells me "let's go for a ride". Also tells me "a good mechanic first test the vehicle". He kept braking hard. I keep telling him that you don't need to brake hard for it to appear. Doesn't listen to me.
I asked for a second opinion on my struts and shocks.Since a automotive chain quoted me $1,200 to fix it. He Recommended that I replace it too. Told me he would do both for $300. Just that I get the parts for him. He said my ride is too bouncy. He also said my brakes are sensitive and also my steering. My steering is fully electronic so nothing I can do about that. Kept still braking hard and steering like a madman.
He suggested that I take care of the struts and shocks BEFORE I fix that abs grinding noise. He lost my trust when he said that.
He tells me he got his car mechanics training at Jobcorps. Yeah another mistake.
I paid him $45 by the way for the whole ordeal. He told me to come to his shop tomorrow to spend more time with it. Uh, no thanks. I'll go to car shop instead. | I paid a mobile "mechanic" to come to my house. Did a car test drive with me. Really didn't know what was wrong and went in his way home. |
t3_3f0efx | relationships | My [24F] ex [25M] of 1 year was told by a female colleague to post something online that may possible throw shade at me. Do i have the right to be upset? | So, a mutual friend of my ex and i showed me a picture that he posted in instagram with a few of his female colleagues with the caption along the lines of "People in the past doesn't matter, the only one that matter is the one next to you right now". It wasn't like him to write something like that. I found out in the comments that the female colleague who was right next to him in the picture told him to post that. The thing is, when we were together, their relationship has made me feel strange a few times because they were so close to each other (even though he told me not to worry about her) and she didn't really care that he was not available, because she was just being "friendly". Now she knows that we broke up and they are spending a lot of time together. I'm still in love with him. I don't know if i should be upset or not. | my ex posted a picture with some female colleagues with a caption that he was told by a certain female colleague to write and it felt like it was about me. |
t3_3gf7sp | relationships | I [22 M] had a thing with a [18 F] a while back but things ended. Recently started hanging out again and don't know what to make of it | About 3 months ago now I started seeing a girl and things went really well for 3 weeks or so. A mutual friend told me that she wanted me to ask her to make things official. I was weary of that idea even though things were going great, she had told me she had some shitty relationships and takes a while to be ready for that type of commitment. Despite knowing that, I asked. And while it wasn't a straight up no, it wasn't a yes. She said we just need to hang out more and get to know each other better. I was fine with that, but quickly things changed. The next week things seemed distant, not texting as much, wasn't up for hanging out. I asked if the question had changed anything, she said no and that she had just been more busy than usual. 3 days later she ended things, saying the reasoning was she didn't want a relationship and thought it would just be better if we didn't see each other.
We didn't talk much for the next few weeks. We ended up drinking together one day and things didn't go well. I quickly became a sad drunk and wanted to know what went wrong and she didn't want to talk about things but I kept pushing. She got pissed off and that was that for a while.
2 weeks ago I texted her to see how she was and what she was up to etc. We ended up hanging out that day and have been texting everyday/hanging out every few days since, although hanging out has been in group settings. I asked her a few days ago if we were just friends or what. She said that yes we're just friends but she sometimes thinks about us being more when we're together. She said she still likes me but still isn't ready for a relationship.
Should I expect things to progress to something more? I think about her a lot and if we're just going to remain friends perhaps it would be best to just give up on hanging up and move on. | Met a girl, started seeing each other, she didn't want a relationship things broke off for a while, talking again, likes me but still doesn't want a relationship |
t3_1xsaom | relationships | I [21F] was involved with a guy [26M] and I have no idea how to title this appropriately. | I had been seeing this guy I attend university with on and off since October, and for the past 2 months we had become increasingly close. Yes, we'd slept together a few times, but sometimes he'd come over and we'd just watch movies/cuddle/talk. We went to see plays, we were supposed to go on a date this weekend. He had increasingly mentioned me meeting his friends and family. Said how much he didn't want to leave when he had to go from me and go to work.
However, last night, as we were both hanging out and drinking in my dorm (neither of us were drunk, by the way), we come up on the subject of relationships. At this point, he admitted he liked me and I said I really liked him.
Then, he tells me "but". He said if he was in a relationship with me, he'd cheat on me, and that's just how it was. He said monogamy is just limiting oneself, and mentioned how he celebrated when his parents divorced.
He'd been in a couple of long term relationships before me, so it just makes me wonder why I'm not good enough. I had been having this issue when my ex left me last year, and this just makes it so much worse. He had said at the end of this: "What's wrong? You look hurt!"
Of course I was hurt. I know not everyone has the same idea of relationships, though. I just don't know what to think.
I liked him so, so much, and I could have seen us having a future.
I apologize for not putting a concise title up, as I don't know what to call this. He was never really 'mine', any way. I know I'm probably wrong in how I'm feeling (sad, hurt, even betrayed) because I get that people have different outlooks. I get that, really. And that's okay. | Guy I had been seeing said how much he liked me, was showing signs of wanting to date me, but then said he'd never be monogamous.* |
t3_y4dww | AskReddit | What's the dumbest thing you've ever done with food? | I'll go first.
My family and I were across the street hanging out with our new neighbors, who are awesome. We were having fish tacos and I, being the spicy food lover that I am, slathered on the spicy sauce and ate all of it. My neighbors, impressed that a 15 year old white girl could eat that much spice, offered me a half a spicy pepper.
This is where everything goes horribly wrong.
I eat peppers all the time, so I thought I could eat this no sweat. I smirk and taste the pepper a little bit. Tastes good. So, I take a huge bite, and so does my dad, not wanting to be shown up by his daughter. We chew. Everything is fine. And then the burning started.
My mouth is on fire. I start to tear up. And then WHAM, it hits me. I'm sweating, crying, drinking water and milk. My throat, lips, nose, everything in my mouth is on fire and it wont stop. My dad is clearly in pain as well. Then, like a dumbass, **I SWALLOW THE WHOLE BITE OF PEPPER.** The next ten minutes consist of my dad and I in severe pain eating all of my neighbor's ice cream and crying in pain. Now I can't taste anything, my nose is bleeding, and I feel like I'm going to puke. | Ate a spicy pepper with my dad, ended up in my neighbor's kitchen crying and losing my sense of taste because I thought I was cool. |
t3_29e1qn | relationships | [18M] with my [19F] 1 month, suddenly having second thoughts? | About a month and a half ago my girlfriend broke up with me, and immediately after, in the midst of getting over her I asked a few other girls out. I ended up going on a date with a girl a week later and we kissed, and quickly entered a relationship. It has proceeded at breakneck pace, both of us being completely happy, and enjoying an active sex life.
But about a week ago, after staying with her for the night I'm having second thoughts. Thoughts that came on literally overnight, and now I don't know if I'm interested any more? I've told her I need a few days to think about things, and understandably it's destroying her. This girl is head over heels for me and I'm suddenly not reciprocating. She feels like a rebound and I don't know what to do.
I mean, I still like her, but I'm not sure I can pull it off. I want to give it another shot but if I keep feeling like this, prolonging the relationship might just make things worse if I do choose to cut it off.
Any suggestions? | Fantastic relationship with lovely girlfriend, suddenly don't feel the way I do, don't know why, and don't know whether to take the risk and break it off or continue. |
t3_1o90a2 | jobs | Advice: Assistant Manager looking for a way out? | Hey, I'm currently one of two assistant managers at the oldest theater in my town. Because we are the oldest, we focus on a kind of "hometown theater" vibe. Very friendly to customers and constantly making "regulars" come by the theater just for popcorn and a chat.
I've been with this theater for 3 years. I started out as an usher (ticket ripper/popcorn sweep) and worked up to staff leader and finally assistant manager.
I've been assistant manager for about 2 months currently (done managerial work way before the title/pay while i was staff leader).
I'm 21 and 2 years into a bachelor's degree but I enjoy working and going to school at once. We just received our 6th manager since i've been there and it's taking a toll on me that I'm the only original person from the theater 3 years ago.
So, what kind of job other than "manager for X restaurant/store" could this experience get me? | Assistant manager at a theater I've worked at for 3 years. What kind of non-managerial job can I use this experience to acquire? |
t3_js2l3 | AskReddit | I need help finding the name of a particular mood disorder... if it has a name. | A friend of mine is seeking treatment for an anger/rage disorder. Apparently he's been dealing with it for years and it's started getting progressively worse. I knew he lost his temper every once in a while, but it wasn't until he started describing it that I thought there might be something more to it.
Here is how he described the symptoms to me:
>It starts with being mad at something, and often it is nothing to get that upset over. Then, my temper flares and I begin to get a kind of tunnel vision. It starts with a black ring around my field of vision and eventually goes almost completely black. At that point I can tell I am doing something that I shouldn't, but it's like I'm watching a dream or something. Kind of an out of body experience where I am watching what is going on, knowing it is wrong but I can't make it stop. After it is done, I am usually emotionally depleted for several days.
I did a bit of searching for this and I found at least one other person who describes this black ring of anger. There is one poster [here about halof way down] who also talks about this black ring in field of vision. Worth noting that my friend doesn't get violent (to the best of my knowledge).
He's seeking treatment, which I think is the right move. But I know that sometimes people can spend months or years trying to find a practitioner who knows the cause of the problem. Like someone with Lupus or Celiac Disease... I don't want this guy to go around undiagnosed if this is just something obscure. On the other hand, maybe what he's experiencing is just adrenaline and he's just got a problem controlling his temper. Entirely possible. | my friend loses his temper and reports seeing a black ring around his field of vision until it all goes to black. Does anybody know if there is a specific name for this type of disorder? |
t3_49gr6l | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend[26 F] 2 1/2 mo trouble communicating and opening up. | Hello,
I'm 23 and am in a relationship with 26 yr woman. We've known each other since august and have been dating since December. We fight a lot, usually about me not being open and good at communicating and i'm often asked my my girlfriend if she is wasting her time or should see one of the other guys that want to date her.
My answer is always "NO" and "I don't know" I'm currently dealing with anxiety and depression and feelings of low self worth. I have a few disabilities one of them effects our sex life; which is not so great.
She get's upset because I don't tell her when I'm having a rough time with feeling depressed and am able to tell my family about it more then I can her and she tells me that I often push her away and wonders why it's so hard to let people in or love me.
As a child I was abandoned by my mum and she would always reappear but never give me the time of day as she was always on drugs. I'm working on getting over it but the bottom line is that I fear opening up to people because I don't want to be hurt or feel pain, it sounds weird and silly and I've told her about this. But it still makes things hard. I like this girl but i'm still trying to discern my emotions and my poor communication is hurting our relationship along with the fact that I push away. I'm dealing with a lot of things in therapy but sometimes I think i'm not doing enough. | So what I ultimately am getting at is, how can I be a better communicator in a relationship? How can I not push people away and let them in? ?. |
t3_1tfr06 | relationships | I [19 F] have been getting this strange feeling lately with my boyfriend [19 M] of 2 years. I don't know why I'm feeling this way or if I should be concerned? | I just came home from college for Christmas break for the first time. I'm a freshman, he's a sophomore so he's been through this before. I've never moved in my life so coming back home has been a really strange out-of-place experience for me. But this is also spilling over to my wonderful boyfriend for some reason. I just don't feel the same desperation to see him.
I know there are different stages in a relationship so maybe this is the "power struggle" stage? We have been fighting a lot since I got to college, mostly over me being scared that he might not feel the same. I know he does though so I'm not sure why I get so upset at him. We don't fight a lot but we do a lot more than usual. When we aren't fighting our relationship is fantastic. I visited him in October and I really don't think I've ever been happier in my life. It was incredible living with him for four days.
But now I come back home and see him for the first time in two months and I feel strange. I was with him yesterday and started crying because I didn't know how to put this into words. I love him no less. Am I upset because the "honeymoon" phase is over and I'm mistaking it for us falling apart? I can be a little melodramatic sometimes... I just don't know how to describe what I'm feeling but it's making me nervous and quite uncomfortable.
Is it just strange because I'm home for the first time and we're hanging out in his basement as if we were in high school again? I seem to feel better when we go out together. | My boyfriend makes me really happy but I'm finding myself analyzing this relationship so much I can't enjoy myself. What am I doing and why am I doing it if he makes me so happy? |
t3_34f38o | personalfinance | Is it out of reach? | Hey everyone. I enjoy reading these posts, but decided it is time to get advice from others.
I am 22 and just graduating college. I am blessed to not graduate with any student loans. Only debt I have is a car loan that I have roughly $12K left to pay ($360/month). I have secured a job ($65K salary and I live in Texas so there is no state income tax) and have been apartment hunting. I have a place picked out and know it is expensive, but want to know if I am stretching myself too thin.
The apartment I am looking at it located in downtown Dallas. Rent is $1365. Other fees associated with the apartment total $113. It is in a commercial high-rise on the 21st floor, so water/electric are calculated using commercial rates. I have been told they are significantly cheaper than residential rates. It does include a Washer/Dryer in the unit. It is also a brand new building, so I will be the first person living in the unit.
I am a simple guy and don't enjoy going out a whole lot. I am more of a homebody, so my social/going out expense is much less then others. The apartment is a 5 minute walk to where I will be working, so my transportation expense is 0. I used a spreadsheet a fellow redditor posted while apartment hunting, and it seemed to me that even though this one has the highest rent, it was one of the cheaper options after I calculated the cost of buying a washer/dryer, transportation to work, and parking at work (my building charges $140/month for parking). Thank you for any and all input!! | $65K salary, $1365 in rent plus $113/month in apartment fees not including utilities. No student loans, but $12K car loan. Living in Texas, so no state income tax. |
t3_4rfkcr | Dogtraining | Is it ok to use a lead inside to help with mat training? Peeing on carpet. | I have a 12 wk old puppy and also young children. If Puppy follows me onto carpet, he pees straight away. | I restrain puppy with a lead when I'm not in the room to reinforce mat training and stop him peeing on the carpet. He doesn't mind. Is this ok or should I always be using the crate? |
t3_2qlk6l | relationships | Boyfriend (20M) of nearly a year and a half told his mother he sees no future with me. (19F) | My boyfriend and I met at the super big state school we both attend. We met early on in our college experiences and something just clicked. We have been together since. Beyond a few occasional arguments in the past, we have a great relationship. We have similar interests and goals, and are like-minded socially. We generally agree on pretty much everything. Over the past year we have dealt with more serious issues beyond that of normal college stress. We dealt with the aftermath of a rape including the STD and injury that followed, to name the biggest thing we overcame. Overall, it's safe to say that I am content and feel confident in our future based on our past.
I've met his parents a few times and while we are not close his mom seems to like me. He is a mama's boy to the nth power. Now apparently while at home for Christmas they had an interesting conversation. She commented that a relationship of over a year in college much be pretty serious. He agreed. She then asked if he had any ideas about our intentions or future together.
He said, and I quote, "I enjoy spending time with her, but I don't think we have a future. I don't see us doing 'the marriage thing.' I don't know what we are doing but I'm happy now." He told me this himself today. I don't know how I feel about it. Of course at this age I don't want to get married, but I have identified and come to terms with the fact that long-term relationships result in either heartbreak or further commitment. Even disregarding the concept of marriage, I see myself being with him in the future! I see no reason for a breakup on the horizon.
Considering all this, I appreciate his honesty. But what do I do?
In general at my young age I am all about experiencing new things and having fun, but I'm doing that with my boyfriend and am content with it.
Is it worth continuing on a relationship wherein one party does not even think about the future? I would love any advice from people who have been in an experience such as mine. Thank you! | At my age, halfway through college, is it worth staying with someone who can be quoted as saying he sees no future with me despite us having a good relationship? |
t3_3nsttw | relationships | My [20 F] cousin [30 F] is in an abusive relationship. Clueless on what I can do. | My cousin, who shall now be called Abby, is engaged to her high school sweetheart, now called Nero.
I met Nero once and he seemed fun and witty. But over the years I have noticed Abby change from outgoing and cheery to very quiet and always tired at family functions. I didn't think much of it.
Last week my parents dropped a bombshell. Nero has cheated on her numerous times (as Abby claimed after crying and venting with other female relatives), he controls her schedule with an iron fist, and just verbally explodes on her whenever she defies his orders. He's grabbed her wrist so hard she had bruises for weeks.
Number of people have told her to leave him, but Abby just gets defensive and supports him always and then shuts them down, cutting off contact right and left, including her own parents. My parents, who she still sometimes call, is trying to keep the line of communication open so that when (or, more heartbreakingly, if) she decides to leave him she can immediately call on them.
I have no prior experience with this sort of thing. What can I do? If anyone tries talking to her she defends him. But she hasn't gotten married to him yet...
Is this a crucial time, or is there nothing we can do until she herself decides she wants to leave him? | How to support my cousin without supporting her abusive relationship? Any books regarding what I can do? Any stories you can share to enlighten me? |
t3_17qx6e | relationships | He [m40] never came home. Me [f28] | ** | Worried because boyfriend went out yesterday with co-workers, and has yet to come home. All the bars closed hours ago. |
t3_26ihmg | relationships | My SO [22M] and I [20F] have been through a lot together, but I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it after infidelity and pregnancy. Help? | My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been together for 1 year and 3 months and most of our relationship has honestly been a cluster fuck of weird coincidences and hardships. A little background on our relationship: we met over a social media website and eventually exchanged numbers. Well shortly thereafter, we decided to date exclusively.
Well two weeks later, my father kicked me out of the house. My SO insisted that I move in with him and his family, so I did. We had only known each other for three weeks at that point. We had a lot of ups and downs at first, but we made it through most of them.
Now to current problems.. there have been different points in the relationship when he had talked to several different girls (one of which was an ex gf of his that he met up with at the bar when he told me he was helping his father move). He swears up and down that he never physically cheated on me, but I have a hard time believing him because I had seen a few of the conversations he had with these girls.
Anyways, we had started to work through all of those issues when I became pregnant. It was quite the shock because I had been on BC. We ended up terminating the pregnancy because neither one of us felt stable in our relationship or jobs. The abortion happened when I was at the 8wk mark. It's been rough for me especially because it only happened 2 months ago. I recently started seeing a counselor to help with the PTSD.
Since the abortion there has been an obvious lack of intimacy and communication on his part. He never wants to talk about anything that happened and we hardly have physical relations anymore. I've tried to talk to him about everything that we've been through and how I feel that he's pushing me away, but it never does anything except for make him mad.
He's pushing me away and I'm tired of fighting. I need advice. I really to love him, but I'm just not sure if staying with him through the fighting is prolonging the inevitable. | Boyfriend was unfaithful and forgiven. But while working through trust issues got pregnant and relationship has suffered. Need advice on making it better or ending it. |
t3_2aale9 | relationships | Me [24F] with the guy I'm dating [25M] for several months. Is it normal to feel this way? | He's absolutely wonderful to me. We have a lot in common, seem to want similar things out of life and I just have a lot of fun being around him. I love him.
So, what's the problem? I am struggling off and on with pretty bad anxiety/depression. I've been communicative about these problems with him and he's been understanding and so patient with me. We aren't in a clearly defined relationship because the idea of that stresses me out and makes my anxiety even worse. I'm not sure if it's from being hurt in the past or what. I also feel like we are in really different places in life and I constantly have this feeling that he is settling for me which leads to increased bouts of self-doubt.
Is it normal to feel this way? Loving someone but the idea of being in a relationship causes stress and anxiety? I feel like I'm being dishonest for not telling him I'm having these doubts about us again and that I keep thinking about ending things between us. I just don't feel ready for a relationship in my current mindset but I think about ending us and my eyes well up with tears thinking about not seeing him anymore. Tearing up right now just thinking about it. I'm afraid I'll end this between us and massively regret it in a few weeks/months time when I'm in a better place. I'm so confused and don't want to hurt him. | Been dating a super great guy for several months. Feel too stressed to be in a relationship. I love him but I'm not sure that's enough. Advice? Relate? |
t3_2u6x9j | relationships | Me [20 M] asked out a [19 F] and she turned me down. Ran into her once after that. A few weeks later she randomly texts me say hi. What does this mean? Should I text back? | I met this girl about 3 months ago and I hung out with her a few times. I began to like her so I asked her out but she said no. About a week later I run into her and we exchange Hi and Bye, nothing major. A few weeks later she texts me saying Hi, but I didn't reply. What does this mean, if anything? I still have feelings for her, so I'm wondering if maybe she changed her mind. She wanted to stay friends, so is she just being friendly? Should I text her back and if so, what should I say? Should I wait for her to text me once again? Should I forget about her? So many questions on my mind right now. lol | Asked out a girl but she said no. Ran into her once about a week later, but we just said Hi. A few weeks later she texts me saying Hi. What does this mean? Should I text back? |
t3_2zuxj4 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [39F] 2 months, I don't know how to tell parents I'm in love with older woman. | English is not my native language.
Long story short, me and my family moved to another town, we started to go to a new church, I kept looking at this woman, she looked so kind and beautiful, the most beautiful smile a ever seen.. after several months of being interested in her from afar (in a platonic way) I had the chance to talk with her because of a church activity were we divided in several study groups.
After we finally met each other we kept talking after every preach (short conversations); in one of those conversations I let her knew I was into computers and she told me she needed help with hers, that she wanted to sell but needed to delete everything and put the computer like if it never used.
So we interchanged numbers, she invited me to her house so do her the favor, I did and then she insisted me to stay and eat, she made me a great meal, we had such a great time together; after that we talked every day for many hours (whatsapp). She invited me again to eat... and that day was the greatest day of my live. Since then we have been in a relationship but nobody knows yet.
I feel very serious about her and I think shes the one for me, but I'm afraid about how my family will react, I dont have many friends here so dont know who to ask... what do i do? should i make my relationship public (family and FB)? and how should i do it? should i invite my GF to meet my parents?
Im so afraid my mother will be in shock!, shes the one that worries me the most.
Sidenote: My GF never had been married before and doesnt have any childrens. | My GF is older than me and dont know if i should make it public now or wait... and if i do make it public, how should i proceed? |
t3_2g4qul | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [23 F] 9 months, I was at the airport to visit. She texted me that she couldn't see me. | EDIT: Yes I have visited before, however we have not had a chance to see each other in person for a few months.
Had been planning to fly out for over a week. Today she wasn't really answering texts (I thought it a bit weird but maybe today was busy at work).
After work she writes me and we talk on the phone/facetime for a bit. She was really worried about me visiting saying ridiculous things such as:
* "What if you don't like me?"
* "I have a really bad feeling about this that something bad will happen."
To which I assured her that it was okay and not to worry about it and things will be fine. So I calmed her down a bit and fast forward about an hour.
I'm at the airport and she sends me a wall of text essentially saying:
* "I'm sorry rpl12345134 i feel so worried. Its not a good feeling. Maybe its better that you don't come. I think it won't end good with us. I don't want a relationship now, i'm so bad. Sorry. I don't want to see you now, I can't do it."
Needless to say I was very surprised. Not only that she waited this long, but also that she was this torn up about seeing me.
So essentially can I get some opinions on the whole situation. I know that it is super shitty, but I just want some moderate opinions on what went down. | She couldn't bear to see me and just decided to break up at the last possible minute. I just kind of need some closure and understanding of why she would wait so long to say something. |
t3_4xw9b0 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Friend [18 F] 2 years, we both like each other but she isn't ready to be in a relationship. | Hello Reddit.
I'm struggling a bit with a girl who I really like (J). I met her two years ago at a film course and we started talking/Skyping/gaming after that. More recently (the past 4 months or so), we've been talking more and we realised that we have feelings for each other.
However J has just got out of her first long term (6 months) relationship which didn't end well. She says that she needs time before she does anything with anybody else. I totally understand but that doesn't make it easier for me to just be friends with her. This all happened tonight. About three weeks ago she came to stay at mine for the weekend and we ended up sleeping together, not as a mistake though. After that we met up every so often (she lives quite far away from me) to go and see films and play games together and stuff. These events often ended in a kiss and hug. I'm just really confused and conflicted, it hurts knowing that I can't have anything with her right now, but I want to respect her feelings and do right by her. Does anybody have any advice?
Thanks | I like a 2 year friend who also likes me back. She just got out of a relationship and doesn't want anything yet. What should I do? |
t3_4w2jcj | relationships | Me (16M) is having his sister (20F) threaten childs aid and my mom asking if we should leave my dad. | Past two months for me have been horrific. My family has been getting torn apart because of my dad. He's arrogant and an overall asshole. He has hit me, choked me, called me lazy, fat etc. He has mentally abused my sister too, telling her people who dye their hair and get tattooed piercings etc are disgusting for example (she has all of those) and, according to her therapist, is the reason my sister and I have anxiety and depression. It all started over summer school. I failed math and my dad didn't tell me he signed me up until the day before summer school, but the school called me and I opted out of the course which made my dad furious. I slept at my friends house for a couple days after that. This has also caused my mother a great deal of stress along with my sister. Once I came back home my dad proceeded to go 3 weeks without talking to me or acknowledging me whatsoever. It didn't affect me much at first, but it brought up plenty of suppressed memories of my dad abusing me and has made me very sad in the past few days. I generally get violent and hit walls, yell (but in my room I don't like fighting.) Then I'm sad and won't eat for a couple days or leave my bed. My sister has said she'll contact child's aid for me and my mother (I love her so much) has asked me if I'd like to move out with her and my sister. I'm very confused right now, my dad is never happy, proud of me, tells me I did good. He just knows anger and disappointment. What should I do?
- I can have child's aid called on me
- Move out
- Stay here
I'm very confused right now, I'm 16( in 5 days) and am not sure what could happen to me. Just looking for some help. I'd say my dad and I get along VERY well when he's not like this, but I haven't had anything like that for 4 months. | Sister is threatening child's aid, mom is asking if we should leave my dad, dad is source of these problems (abusive) |
t3_h5eoo | AskReddit | relationship advice needed - usual "forever alone" with a hottee | I need help. This is a throwaway account. I have been single for 2 yrs, have recently just started a new job, and day one i meet hottee. i am close to 30, she is close to 20. give or take for both. my last relationship was a disaster, but now i am super confident and evidently i am really attractive to younger girls. i am not used to this. she is the most beautiful girl i have ever kissed. she is a red headed bombshell. i was a fat kid growing up. here is the main problem...she has a boyfriend. they are having huge problems, and she is seeking my attention. i can't stop giving it to her. we don't mess around, other than the occasional make out session...and we have talked about how neither one of us wants to be a cheater. we are both rebounding off of each other, her to get passion lost from her faded relationship, and me as the first girl to show any interest since my last relationship went down. what do i do? i know it will end at some point. we have all the passion and excitement of a new love, except she still lives with her bf...they fight a lot...she talks about leaving him, but says there are a lot of things to consider. i have never dated anyone that much younger than me...hell, my first kiss was only a year younger, and that was in 98. ladies, gentleman, please feel free to lay into me or the situation. i know what this is and what it isn't, i just don't know how to proceed. | i am kinda seeing a girl behind her boyfriends back...and i need advice. i have never done this before...it just happened. |
t3_3z34pj | Advice | Crowdfunding an immediate Grad School need. (X-post /r/GradSchool) | Please forgive my long windiness. My wife has taught High School for 19 years. She has a Master's degree in her field. She has spent thousands of hours helping students with their SATs, College Essays, thousands of recommendations. She is highly regarded within her school system and wants nothing more than to have a greater impact. She has the opportunity to get an additional Masters Degree in Ed Leadership, which she must have in order to move into administration/curriculum development. She sees this opportunity as one she can't pass up and will continue to teach full-time while completing it.
Unfortunately, this opportunity comes with the cost of tuition/fees which will push $2000 the first semester and is due immediately. We just can't afford that right now (another long story), and there is not enough time to apply for financial aid/scholarships. She can do that for later semesters.
Question: What is your view on setting up a crowd funding campaign to raise the money from our community? Her only stipulation would be that upon her completion (1.5 yrs) she will fund a scholarship in our school system for the same amount to give to a needy college bound student?
Thank you in advance for your thoughtful feedback. | Is it appropriate to crowd fund tuition now, and repay that by setting up a scholarship for the same amount for needy students? Your feedback is needed. |
t3_1h0opm | dating_advice | Asking this shy scared girl out (M16 and F16) | Hello /r/dating_advice,
So I am in highschool and It is pretty much my first time asking a girl out, anyway I asked if she wanted to go watch a movie later on, and she responded with maybe, I managed to get her phone number.
I asked her out on the last day of school so now it's summer and the only method of communication is texting. I eventually brought the date up again and she started telling me about how she would be comfortable being 'just friends'...thing is I don't give up easy. Right now I am in grade 11 and 2 years ago the same girl was very interested in me (her friends told me because she was too shy). So I am thinking that there has got to be something there. Anyway we started texting back and forth about this subject and she ended with "I just don't think its a good idea" and I tried to give a respectful response "I dont mean to pry, but why wouldn't it be a good idea?". She stopped texting back...So bunch of my friends told me to text her in a week or something and just tell her that you were sorry for rushing so much.
Help me, im fucked. | This girl just wants to be friends ( even though she really liked me few years ago) and I was kinda pressing on 'trying it out'. She just stopped replying. |
t3_1m8mb7 | relationships | My[24f] SO's mother[50~f] applied to a job at my work. We have a negative relationship, what do? | So, my SO and I have been together for 3 years. For those 3 years, his parents have made me feel a little bit uncomfortable, but that is due to how religious they are, so I smiled and hung out anyway.
Recently, they found out he and I were more romantically invested than they knew, so they (mostly his mother) tried to get him to break up with me by calling me all sorts of names, questioning if I am taking my career seriously, and other stuff.
I found out today that my SO's mother may have applied to jobs at my work place and I am freaking out. I love my job, love my career, but I think if they hired her I would have to find a job elsewhere. My boss knows about my SO's mom and I, but its higher-ups that are doing the hiring.
My company is small, only 80 people, but I would have to work directly with the mom pretty often. I e-mailed the HR person and told her about how it would make me extremely uncomfortable, but I really don't know what I can do.
I want to say most work places won't hire your SO, so it makes me hope that extends to your SO's parents.
What should I do? | SO's mom hates me and applied to a job where I would have to work with her pretty often. I e-mailed HR, but no clue what else I can do. |
t3_1gvyqg | AskReddit | Fellow non-religious Redditors living in the South, how do you deal with religious people? | I'm an Agnostic living in the bible belt of America. I'm just wondering if any of you guys have any insight to my dilemma. I work retail and on more than a few occasions, while on the job mind you, I've had Christian people approach me with an array of 'gifts' and viable information on how to save my soul. One one occasion in particular, I was ringing up an older gentleman. He payed for his purchase and then said he had something to give me. He handed me a round red stone, like the ones you use to decorate fish tanks. He said "This is the blood of Christ, I would like to give it to you and invite you to my church." I politely declined and told him I was not Christian, but thanked him anyway. He was persistent. He said, " Well in that case you need it more than I thought." That type of comment always ticks me off. Again, I politely declined and told him I didn't think it very professional to talk about something like that while I was working. He finally got the message and left. Here's my problem. When something like that happens, or when in normal conversation with customers and they say something like, " God is great, isn't he?" I just smile and say nothing. I do not agree, but I also don't feel right coming out and saying, " Well, I don't believe in him." It's like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If they can openly say what they believe religiously, why don't I feel like I can? Does anyone else feel this way? And yes, it is a DAILY occurrence. No, I don't work in a religious environment. It's just the region I live in. | I'm an Agnostic living in a biased, closed minded Christian state, where I'm sure they would've burned me at the stake a few centuries ago. How to deal? |
t3_1pfo1h | relationships | Me [22/F] with my BF [28/M] dating 1.5 years, he won't leave "the nest" & other red flags... | He went out of state for college. He moved to another state on his own for a year, for a job. He hated it and moved back home with his parents. Now he's 28. He has a full time job that pays very well. He pays rent in a 1 bedroom apartment that he should've moved into 2 months ago, but he keeps putting it off. Yesterday, all of his stuff was packed in a moving truck. Today he was supposed to move, but decided he couldn't do it emotionally.
How am I supposed to see a future with him anymore? For months, we talked about him getting his apartment, moving out, me moving in some day...
I'm 6 years younger than him but I feel a lot more mature than him. I've been moved away from my family for over 4 years.
He also shows signs of having a drinking problem and he tells white lies fairly often. We were close to breaking up a week ago, worked it out, and now this happened and I just can't see him getting better.....I mean, he has to, right? I really thought he was finally going to move.
We love each other a lot. I just wish he was where he needs to be, and it feels like he isn't. I don't want to have to be the strong, grown up one in our relationship. It's hard to break up though.
I guess I just want to hear anyone's relate-able stories or advice... | bf who is 6 years older than me isn't living up to what i thought he could be, avoiding moving out of his parent's house.... |
t3_3jxluj | relationships | My (19m) gf (19f)is ldr... asked about open relationship | Idk how to feel about this... we've been together for 4 years. I lived with her for a year before having to move back home and she I trying to move here... we are both very jealous people... I came home to great loss in the family started drinking while away from her... alot... we resolved that. but then she asked if I was interested in an open relationship while we are apart...
I don't know what to think... it's got me worried... I have lost a few people that I was close to this summer. I see her in a month (a short time for us) and suddenly... this... i know she is frustrated sexually and it's hard... but we were managing and even enjoying ourselves seeing eachother almost every 2 months since I left and already planned every 2 months for the next few months we see each other (all the way up to the end of march is planned)...
How should I react? Should I worry? She is very frustrated sexually as am i... should I worry she is cheating? Am I just worrying to much? I am a worrier and would like to know how I should feel... how would you feel if in a ldr your so, after 4 years together and while you were in a poor place asked for an open relationship ? I am a jealous person and so is she... idk I'm confused and emotional and have issues lately... I said no already but this has been on my mind alot...
Sorry for formatting I'm on my phone and don't normally post... | ldr gf asked about open relationship after 4 years. Worst summer of my life I'm a mess. What am I supposed to feel?????? Or worry about?? WHAT? |
t3_1h2ufh | relationship_advice | I, [M/17] Need help on deciding where to go from here with a girl [F/17] That I've only been texting for two days... | I've recently got her number, and have only been texting with her for two days. I've stretched my imagination to try to get something to talk to her with and she replys gleefully it seems. I want to know what should I do next now that I've gotten this far, and have seem to run out of things to talk to her with. What should my next steps be if I would like to hang out with her? Or what are some other topics that I could text her about? I'm in a tight bind because I really enjoy talking, but don't know what to do! | I've only been texting a girl for two days, and don't know where to go from here after running out of questions to ask her... HELP! |
t3_47dz01 | relationships | Me, 27F new to the 'dating' world... recently starting dating 27M after a rough relationship break-up. | I recently just got out of a very unhealthy, gas-lighting, toxic relationship that should have never lasted as long as it did (two years). My ex was really emotionally reckless with me and I ended up waiting around for a really long time thinking he was getting serious about our relationship only to have realized I was wasting my time for absolutely nothing.
I recently started dating this guy who's really great and I'm still coming to terms with what exactly 'dating' means. I've never been the type to date multiple guys at once, coming from a broken family as a child with an unfaithful parent. I totally get that seeing multiple people is the whole point of dating, but I guess that's just something I have to get my mind around.
So my new guy, makes time to see me every day whether it's a few minutes before the gym, or for five hours after work, or for an entire day over the weekend. When we go out, whether it's out for drinks or to the store for groceries, he's publicly affectionate with me (hand holding, kisses, etc.) We've been really honest from the start, he did put it out on the table that he's dating other women. To be fair, I did also say that I never have dated multiple guys at once, which he said that if things obviously got serious with us, the other girls he was dating would be out of the picture.
It's only been a few weeks, but I really like the guy. I'm not sure if it's too soon to bring up or tell him that I'm really into him, but I find myself always bummed knowing that nights he's not with me, he's with another woman. My girlfriends are telling me that I need to broaden my dating horizons and meet other people and date other guys, but that's just not who I am and I don't want to do that. I'm afraid I might be setting myself up for another ''waiting game'' type situation and I want to avoid that at all costs, but don't want to ruin something if I'm just being too skeptical because I was burned badly from my previous relationship.
Any advice would be awesome. | New guy I'm into is still dating other women; new to the 'dating' world and am paranoid of getting hurt again. |
t3_2uflgp | Advice | Ethical dilemma: Should I buy a friend's waterskis that he left with another friend? | We used to have a friend (friend A) in high school (still kind of is but not too close now). We went water skiing in his boat one day during our senior year. Then he ended up leaving his water skis at our friend's house (friend B).
Friend A never picked the skis up despite multiple attempts from friend B to leave them outside, offer to drive them over, etc.
Two years pass. Friend A moves to New York 300 miles away and only visits home twice a year. Friend B reminds friend A that his waterskis skis are still at his house. No response from friend A on Facebook.
Now (two more years) friend B was trying to sell the skis for $200 to make space in his apartment. He offered them to me for $80.
It kind of feels weird to buy them being that they aren't his. I don't know what to do. They are really nice. | Friend A left water skis over friend B's house. Friend A never seemed to care to pick them up (4 years ago). Now friend B wants to sell them and I want them. |
t3_1qhfx4 | relationships | I [17 F] Want to know what I can do to make myself feel better today after break up with [16F] | I had become insanely close to her. Closer than I have with anyone ever. It ended so suddenly, and she started dating someone else almost immediately. A lot of people here say to cut off contact, and I've been trying that, because every time I do talk to her it's fine for a while until my emotions pop out and it ends with me telling her how awful she is for the things that have happened..and well that's not particularly productive or helpful for anyone.
So here is my problem. I know I'll probably feel better eventually, when I'm over her and long moved on, but there has to be something to stop how bad I feel right now. I'll be doing anything and a random thought will pop in my head of her with her boyfriend going to the places we did and doing the things we've done and I'll just start crying like crazy. This has been going on for a week now and hasn't even slightly gotten better. If anything it feels more real with the passing day that they are getting even closer and that kills me. The best I can hope for is to keep my mind off her for any length of time, but inevitably a thought pops into my head that I cant emotionally handle it. Is there anything I can do other than just wait for it to blow over. I think I'm going to die of dehydration if I cry again today. | How do I feel better about my breakup and my ex today instead of just hoping to feel better at some point in the distant future. |
t3_19sseh | offmychest | So many let-downs | If I had known how much today was going to suck, I would have stayed in bed.
1- My plans to move in with my best friend and her bf aren't working because her bf has extremely unrealistic needs that he wont compromise on.
2- I'm stressed out about having dinner with my father's (who I have not seen in about eight years) mother (who I have not seen in twelve years) tonight.
3-Most emotionally unstable day of the month (ladies, you know what I mean). Men- PLEASE learn to be compassionate during this time for us women. It sucks for us, it sucks for you, just give us a hug and together maybe we can make it suck less.
4- Despite my letting him know about all this shit beforehand, my guy is not being very nice... work has been super shitty with him today. I try so hard to be nice but no matter what I ask he gets really irritated with me and blows me off. Which leads to:
5- He texts me while we are both at work that he thinks we should take a break. He thinks that will help our "working relationship." I think all he needs to do is realize I'm not trying to waste his time- anything but that! He is the best in his department, and I know he is extremely busy. But if something I'm working on needs his help and he pushes it to the very end of his growing list of tasks, it gets forgotten and I can't do my job. | I feel like a failure. No one wants to live with me, my guy doesn't want to be with me, and I'm an emotional wreck today. |
t3_2dcnly | relationships | How do I [26/f] tell my SO [27/m] of 2 years that I am not as attracted to him? | Over the course of our relationship, I feel like my boyfriend has put less and less effort into his appearance. The problems are mostly concerning his head and facial hair (as well as overall grooming)--he doesn't maintain his beard and won't style his long hair. I know these are not big issues, but I am not as attracted to him because of it, not only because I don't like how he looks, but also because it seems like he doesn't care enough about me to put forth effort in how he looks.
I have brought it up in the past, but he gets frustrated easily and often tells me that if I want him to look a certain way, I need to handle it. He also says that when I mention it, it makes him feel self conscious. How do I talk to him about this? Thank you. | Boyfriend doesn't take care of his appearance anymore and so I am less attracted to him, how can I ask him to change? |
t3_rg7jw | relationships | Have you ever had to remove someone dear to you out of your life because your feelings were too strong for them? And what was the result? | I've known a woman for two years and we are very close friends. A few months ago, I realized that I had feelings for her beyond friendship so I confessed to her how I felt. She didn't want to risk hurting our friendship (a fear I share with her) and said that we should remain friends. But my feelings for her have not dissipated and only continue to grow stronger. I'm at the point now where I can't stop thinking about her and its affecting my daily life in a negative way.
Some folks I consulted suggested that I have to say goodbye to her and terminate our friendship indefinitely. At first I thought that was ludicrous, but over time I've come to think that they may be right all along. That's what I'm planning to do in the near future, even though just thinking about losing her from my life makes me incredibly depressed.
I've never felt so strongly about a close friend that I had to remove her from my life before (I'm 29 years old, she's a few years older). And I have never cared about another human being this much in my life. For those of you who have been in similar circumstances and took this action, were you ultimately glad that you went through with it? Did you or do you still regret it? | Fell in love with my best friend, entered the friend-zone, about to remove her from my life permanently so that I can move on and wondering if I'm making the right decision. |
t3_ol9dq | AskReddit | Random person showed up at my house, my roommate thinks I'm giving out the address to sketchy people. How do I convince him I'm not? | This is a throw-away but I'll try to explain the situation as best as possible.
Yesterday, some strange man literally walk into a house I share with my roommate. My roommate claims he said "Hey <insert my name here>". Obviously, my roommate was freaked out. I guess the guy brought food complete with cooking instructions and started to ramble on about how he spoke to me at a funeral, wish I'd move back to were I use to live and that everyone missed and loved me.
Now, I have no idea who this guy is, haven't been to a funeral in years , and know for a fact that no one wants me to move back to where I lived.
There are only a few people who really no where I live (close friends and family) and I honestly have no idea who this person is but my roommate is pissed because he thinks I am giving weird people our address and they are just walking into our home. What should I do? | Person I do not know walks into my house randomly with food and my roommate is pissed because he thinks I know the person. |
t3_48o5sl | relationships | Me [20M] was sarcastic jerk with Girl[19F] I like | Three and a half years ago I met this great girl who I really liked. We usually hanged out a bit during bus rides to school and chatted on Facebook.
Long story short I acted as a jerk (because I am a lot of a jerk, especially towards girls because I don't have anything to talk about except talking shit) and commented some sarcastic shit on her cute Facebook post. Obviously this made her angry.
Since I am too sarcastic idiot and she isn't I texted her that I kinda proud of her for not deleting my comment. She responded: "Is that everything you have to say"; I sarcastically responded: "I always have something to add"; She just responded with "Great". I wrote that I'm sorry for writing the comment but just got a "seen". I have never spoke to her again.
When she sees me in the bus she just politely nods and says hi but you can see that she's still angry at me. Only thing I try to do is hide anywhere because I'm ashamed of myself and would really like to apologize but don't know how since this happened three years ago. Or should I just let her hate me, maybe that's the best. | Hurt the girl I like three years ago; Apologized immediately; She never spoke to me again; Want to apologize again because still care for her but I feel like she still hates me. |
t3_4c043l | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [19 M]. A trip that was supposed to be for us has now turned into a family event. | We've been dating for a little over a year and a half. We haven't had the easiest relationship, and we plan to start couples therapy soon.
My boyfriend, Adan received a financial aid refund of about 1000 dollars recently, and he was going to give it to his parents, but they told him to keep it and do something with it. He decided that he wanted to use that money to go on a trip and we started talking about where and when. I would be paying my part, and he would be paying his. Then, his parents decided they wanted to go on a cruise, which would use up about half of the money. I was welcome to come (paying my own way), and he would still have 500 dollars of his money left to go on a trip ourselves. Well now, his parents decided they wanted to take a trip to disneyland. He would have to use his entire refund and I would have to pay 1000 dollars out of pocket just for that one trip. He told his mom that we had already decided to go on a trip and she just kind of ignored him and said that I probably wouldn't even be able to pay my part of the trip to disneyland. I am livid. My boyfriend says that I'm being selfish because this is a "family trip" and I can't expect him to just say no, but I think this whole situation is really unfair to me. He said that he can maybe ask his parents to keep 2 to 300 dollars of the money and we can go camping or something like that. We went camping last year because we didn't have the money to do anything else, but now that he finally has money we have to use it for a trip to disneyland with everyone else??? I don't think it's fair of him or his parents to do this. If they're taking him on a trip, he shouldn't be using money that he's already promised to use with me. Am I wrong here?? | My boyfriend promised me a trip for the two of us and now his mom is planning a trip to disneyland where he'll have to use virtually all of his money. |
t3_2mkt04 | relationships | Me [25M] with my gf [25F] of close to 3 years, she is depressed and I feel horrible. | My girlfriend has had anxiety and depression issues her whole life. During the first 2 years of our relationship though it was heaven, she never showed a sign of it. I didn't know about the depression and anxiety really until an event in her life brought it back up.
Now she doesn't want to do anything. She is constantly bringing up her depression and how nothing will make her happy. It's to the point of almost aggression at me for not understanding and it has made me feel horrible. I feel guilty for not understanding and not being able to do anything to help. I feel helpless and stuck.
Outside of her depression I started to see large differences in us in our beliefs and outlook on life. I still love her and will always love her, but I have this feeling that even if she made a full recovery from her depression, we wouldn't be a good match anymore. But I can't tell if that's just my thoughts wanting to get away from this person bringing down both our lives.
I am just simply afraid to say or do anything. If I ask what she wants I will get either frustration for not making the decision myself or anger for asking because she doesnt care cause nothing will make her happy.
One of the most painful situations for me is when we do go out in a group. She is all smiles and love to everyone else except me. And as soon as we get out of the group setting, it's back to being depressed and not speaking to me.
This is a lot of rambling and random scenarios but I just don't know what to do. I love her immensely, I love her family and they love me. They are aware of her condition but don't have much as far as advice goes for helping. Outside of the depression and everything else I am having a hard time seeing a future with her, and I am feeling like a horrible person for thinking that. | My girlfriend is depressed and it's making me depressed and I feel selfish, guilty, stuck and helpless for all of this |
t3_xv9j5 | relationship_advice | im going to college and my girlfriend isnt. should i break up with her? | So im going to be six hours away from my girlfriend in 2 weeks. Ive been talking to her about it and she wants to try but im not sure if i want to try. she is an amazing girlfriend. weve only been dating for 4 months but we were best friends for almost a year and we see each other every day at work. o yeah we work together too. but im afraid that if i were to get too drunk in college that i would do something to hurt her, like cheat on her. seriously, i have done some stupid shit when im drunk. but let's see...what else. well we never ever fight. and if one of us does something wrong, we always admit to it and apologize almost the next day. and that happens like once every three weeks minimum. if you want anymore details, let me know. but i really need some advice. because all i know is that at the end of this, i still want to be able to talk to her and hang out with her. THANK YOU REDDIT!! also, i probably sound like a whiney highschooler who doesnt know what love is. if you guessed that, you're spot on lol | i love my awesome girlfriend and im going to college six hours away from home. i want to stay friends with her. how should i handle it? |
t3_9z6u9 | AskReddit | My 8-year-old brother is bored, and I'd like to get him interested in science. Problem: I'm 3000 miles away. | Hi reddit,
I'm 26 and I have an 8 year old brother (yes, same parents). I live and work in Silicon Valley and he's living with my family on the east coast. My family just opened up a business accross the street from where they live, so my mom, dad, and younger sister are there practically all day. My little brother doesn't stay there with them because he gets too bored, so he stays at home by himself.
Up until now, he never needed a baby sitter or anything. He has access to satellite TV where he can watch cartoons literally 24/7 and also has internet access where he can play games non-stop on sites like cartoonnetwork.com or nickjr.com. Usually he plays games and watches TV at the same time. Yes, I know this is harmful, but if my mom weren't busy running the family business, he wouldn't be doing these things.
Today, much to my surprise, he called me up just to talk. He asked me questions he's never asked me before like "How are you?", "How's work?", and "What have you been up to?" I, being the socially inept person that I am, didn't understand what was really going on until he finally put it in plain english: "I'm bored."
Hallelujah! He doesn't want to watch TV or play mindless games anymore, and that's all he's been doing since he was four! So I have to take advantage of this opportunity before he goes back to his old ways. If I were there I could do so much to get him into math or science, but being 3,000 miles away puts huge damper on things we can do.
So, I bow to thee, reddit:
**\*\ | I need an online fun/educational game or activity that an 8-year-old can play with someone accross the country. |
t3_2qt1kx | relationships | How do I adjust on being [25/F] single? Broke up with BF [36/M] of 6 years yesterday. | Hi!
Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend (36/M) of six years. It was hard decision, and it took months to decide. Unfortunatelly, it wasn't working out, at all. We were happy for a bit, and then things would go to shit again; repeat ad naseum. No need for my life story!
Now, as a 25 years old woman that was in relationship since she was 19, I find it really hard on how do I... get out there? Meet people? Socialise? Meet/make new friends? After six years all of my friends/social circle were gfs/friends of his friends, so I've found myself all alone except of my best friend that sadly works 8am to 11pm so no time to talk with her :( and all of our friends, of course, left me.
I thought of joining some classes, maybe dancing or ceramics? Ceramics sound interesting! Or attend events (although attending stuff alone sounds terrifying)? Would I look like a creep going to stuff alone? Try to recconect with old friends? Also, how do people flirt these days? I've heard of Tinder and some other social sites, but honestly? They sound scarry.
Any advice on how do I adjust or what I should take care/pay attention to is welcomed. I'm trying **really** hard to not break down, and take it like a champion, but this loneliness and useless feeling are getting overwhelming.
Thank you! | Broke up after 6 years; awkward penguin; don't know how do I socialise after being kinda alienated from the world. |
t3_32y62d | tifu | TIFU by inadvertently making fun of my friend for paying for his GF's abortion | I'm typing this on my phone in the bathroom because I don't want anyone seeing it. This just happened.
My coworker/friend who sits near me at work was on the phone sweet talking his girlfriend. I overhear him saying "How much is it going to be baby, I'll pay for it.---because I want to---no babe it's fine, don't worry about a thing it's completely okay"
We have a dark sense of humor around the office and I jokingly said "Aw, that's so sweet you're paying for your girlfriend's abortion" and he put his hand over the phone and looked at me with wide eyes and fear and whispers "How the fuck did you know? You could hear our conversation?"
I profusely apologized and said I was joking and explained the whole thing but it felt more like digging a whole and trying to back out of a mean insult. I'm in the bathroom and I don't want to leave. | Overheard my coworker saying he'd pay for something over the phone, jokingly said he's paying for an abortion. He is. |
t3_21v13m | relationships | I'm [25 M], never had a girlfriend, and looking to improve my "dating value" because it seems like most people go for a "catch" | I was mega homeschooled, and I just graduated college, but I had several major athletic injuries that lasted all through college and kept me from doing a lot of stuff. I also had a geeky major and there were almost no women in my classes. Now that I'm mostly healed, I'm ready to be more social and eventually start dating.
However, I used to just be shy around women, but now I'm also doubting my "dating value". I'm pretty set on the two types of women I'm attracted to, but it seems like most people are looking for a "catch", and they go for the person who has the most dating value within their type.
I don't do ANYTHING to act like a catch. Aside from wearing somewhat fitting t-shirts, as my arms are huge! :D :D But my attitude is, "Here I am, let's be friends, and I hope we get an accurate impression of each other." According to a close female friend, and also my scathingly-honest sister, I'm as attractive as a 5'9 guy can be, and very much the "sweet" type, but I don't have much social confidence.
I get hit on a lot by random women, but it seems like once they get to know me, they get way less excited about dating me. Maybe it's my lack of confidence, awkward social skills, or they figure out that I've never had a girlfriend. A "catch" is someone sought after, who you're lucky to date. Not some guy who's always single.
Anyways, this whole "catch" thing seems kinda weird, but I'm getting older and nothing else has worked. Any suggestions? :D | There are logical reasons to date me, but I don't project myself as a "catch", and I'm shy around women. In addition to improving my social skills and preparing for a relationship, what should I do? |
t3_2fsld0 | tifu | TIFU By giving a girl the wrong number. | Okay, so this actually happened Saturday night, but I've been working all weekend and just got chance to go on Reddit.
So for the weekend I've been working on a stall/bar at a festival. Very long hours, but you get to meet a lot of new people so it's a good laugh.
Anyway, Saturday night. There is this girl stood in a group a bit in front of where I'm working. I see her looking at me, we make eye contact, she looks away. Nothing big, happens all day with folk (I'm English, eye contact with strangers is a no go for most). But a few minutes later, I see her looking at me again, she gives me the cutest smile I've ever seen, then looks away again. A few minutes later, same thing happens again, but I smile back, she seemed to smile even more this time and again turned her head.
This goes on for a little while. When I realise my shift is up, but I can't stay and try to talk to her as I had to drive one of the lads I was working with home too. So I quickly write down my number, go over to the girl. I introduced myself and gave her my number and said she should text me sometime if she fancies it. She seemed to blush, smiled and said 'I definitely will do' with the almighty cute smile of hers. So I go back, grab my things and leave.
But now I realise. I do no know my own mobile number by heart, but something in my head that night told me I did, so I've written down the wrong number and given it to this girl. Man, I feel like such an idiot. | Cute girl makes eye contact with me and seems interested, I proceed to give her a mobile number that isn't mine. Forever Alone... |
t3_4ff0zi | relationship_advice | 19m and I need to know if my girlfriend (20f) is overreacting and how I can deal with this? | So, long story short me and this lovely lady have been together for three years and some months. I love her to death and 98.999999% of our relationship is amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world. Literally there is only one foreseeable probables, the fact that I don't have my own life.
Seriously zero personal life. When we have free time she seems to think it's implied that we're going to spend Tim together (I've told her this is not the case many times). For example, we both had the day off last Wednesday which never happens! I suggested that we get an early dinner around 4 and then spend the evening together since I had to change my oil, do laundry, pay bills, etc and all that other stuff I've been putting off. But she didn't think so. She insisted I come over as soon as I get up and we spent the day together.
I'm getting tired of this. Anytime I have plans it could be six months from now or tonight and she will still get angry, jealous, and sad at the thought of me having fun without her. My breaking point may have happened today.
So I've had concert tickets since December to go to one of my fave artists with my brother and our two best friends. Well, the concert is Wednesday and she "forgot" and flipped shit on me today about how I never care about her, she's not a priority, we aren't on the same page etc. now I'm a nice guy, but I'm no ones bitch. I always stand my ground for what I believe is right, but I am respectful. I told her I had these tickets for a long time and I don't get to see my brother very often. I reassured her that it isn't that I don't want to spend time with her and that I'm not fooling around with anyone.(I've only had sex with one girl and yep it's my girlfriend so i don't even know why she is afraid of me cheating)
Sorry if that's a bitch to read I'm kinda rushing and in a bad mood so I apologize. Thanks for reading and ANY advice is very appreciated. | my girlfriend never lets me make plans of my own without consulting her first. And even when I do talk to her prior, she finds some reason to be upset. |
t3_35jg7d | tifu | TIFU by using the race card to manipulate my dad. | 1:10 am CET +1
This happened 10 minutes ago.
My dad weekly holds "family discussion" meetings. (mainly bashing on my school career) So he started talking at about 10 pm. And started off making jokes about some random crap. (I saw it all coming, as it wasn't the first time this had happened). He then continued talking about my handwriting and voice(WTF??)(which both me and my mom are satisfied with(it isn't even that bad,whatevs)) Cut to an hour later, he was talking (shouting) about my German Exam. Which I 4ed. (D). (Not even that bad considering that the were no 1's and 2's.)(A's, B's).
Fed up with his shit and knowing he is a f*cking racist, I went ahead and drew the race card. (I'm black, he's black BTW). (Sorry whites I had to) I said that he's not the only black dude in the world that we all go through this shit, in school church everywhere. (exaggerated). He fucking calmed at THAT!(WTF?!???) | Dad holds long as f*ck talk. I stop him by stimulating him to make racist jokes. (Sorry again) Happy mothers day. My fucking poor mom. :( |
t3_wmurl | relationships | New to dating, and I [23/F] can't tell if I'm reading his [25/M] actions correctly. Please help! | Here's the background: I went on a first date with this guy I met online about 2 months ago. We hit it off, and so we had another date the next weekend and a third the weekend after that (during which we kissed). Then we had a fourth date (after which we had sex) and a fifth (after which we had a lot more sex).
I was out of town for the past 3 weeks for job training, and he was on a backpacking trip for 1 1/2 of those weeks. When he had access to internet or cell phone service, we talked a lot. What has been giving me second thoughts is that although we talked a ton about what was going on in our lives, we barely flirted at all.
So, I think he's an attractive guy, I enjoy spending time with him, and I would very much like to date him exclusively in the boyfriend/girlfriend sense. However, I have very little dating experience and I'm worried that he might just see me as a friend who he sleeps with every now and then.
We're getting together again sometime this week and I want to talk to him about it, but I'm scared of making a fool of myself if I've just been overly optimistic about his feelings for me. What do you guys think? If the signs look good, what is a good way to bring up the subject? Should I maybe wait for him to bring up the subject? | Not sure if the guy I've been dating is interested in a relationship or just being friends with benefits. Want some outside opinions before I ask him myself. |
t3_2q66qr | relationships | My [25F] husband's [25M] family has had no successful marriages, so he has no healthy marriages to emulate... | My husband's grandparents on both sides have gone through at least one divorce each, with messy custody battles, insults thrown around against former spouses if they are spoken of at all, and unclear explanations of which kid belongs to which spouse. His parents have both been divorced multiple times and are about to get married again to other people (his dad is a truck driver, marrying one of his other former wives, and his mom works at Wal-Mart and is engaged to her boss).
I don't come from a perfect family by any means - I have a stepdad who is more of my father figure, and my mom and biological father are no longer together, but everyone is amiable. There were never any custody battles or anything messy. My mom and stepdad have an amazing marriage that I grew up seeing, as do my grandparents, godparents, etc.
My husband struggles a lot with trying to find families besides *mine* to model healthy behaviors after, because he just hasn't seen them growing up. All he's seen is dysfunctional, doomed, and abusive marriages. He always asks me where he can look to, in order to actually not imitate or emulate his family - because he said that he loves my family (we've been together since family, so they're practically his family too) but he feels so behind in seeing what healthy relationships look like, he needs to expose himself to people in healthy marriages more. | My husband comes from a long string of toxic family relationships and marriages. Outside of *my* own family, where can he (and I) look to surround ourselves with healthy ones? |
t3_2zkkml | relationships | Me [22 M] with my Ex GF [25 F] duration 3yrs, So long term relationship ended month ago. Have we started dating again? | So to make a long story short me and my Ex GF ended our 3yr relationship just over a month ago (mutually). She needed time alone after being in relationship after relationship since early teens.
So fast forward to the here and now and we are still friends and regularly see each other (once a week with maybe a day added here and there) Going to coffee shops to chat and catch up.
Well now we are making plans for her to come over to mine (I live at home with parents)... Where I cook us a dinner/tea and we go and watch a couple films (it'd be in my bedroom/living room)
We are also buying Easter eggs for each other (don't do that for other friends) Planning a trip to the Warner Bros studio in London to see Harry Potter World, planning a meal out and even looking at going to the cinema to watch a film.
She doesn't do this with any of her other friends, so am I reading too much into this or are we actually dating?
I haven't mentioned any of this to her as she has said she doesn't want a relationship at this moment in time but when we broke up she did say she may be open to us dating and trying again.
Is she wanting to date but not put a label on us?
Halp! | Me and Ex GF broke up a little while ago to have space and may or may not be dating subconsciously, what do? |
t3_1i1g5e | relationships | Me M[23] can't tell if she F[22] is being highly polite or is possibly interested. | So, the two of us work in a summer camp setting which means we live in close proximity to each other 7 days a week currently, so we have a ton of interaction. She broke the touch barrier with me and there has been a lot of minor physical flirting like her putting paint on my face and wiping it off, or me wiping gross dish water on her arm. Just little minor things.
The catch is that she's a very devout christian girl and she's incredibly nice. So differentiating between her politeness and interest is rather difficult. I know for a fact she spends a lot of time with me compared to other staff and she doesn't give me a ton of red flags for platonic interest (like confiding in me or crying on my shoulder ect.) When she talks about cute guys while I'm around it's to another female not to me and she keeps in incredibly short.
The last most important detail is that I've been leaving her a post-it note story around the camp site, and she's now far enough in that my feelings are kind of obvious. She had some girl talk with our supervisor and when she was asked if I should stop she said it was fine if I continued and that she wanted to finish the story. I find that to be a huge signal, but once again she could just be being a nice person | girl has the professional option to stop me from hitting on her and is refusing it, the confusion lies with her sending mixed signals because she's an innately nice individual. |
t3_rjqtg | AskReddit | Programmers of reddit, how do you fight job-related depression? Story inside... | You want to know what's depressing?
When you work and toil for thousands of hours over a couple of years to figure out a multi-million-dollar-revenue website that someone else coded fast and loose, and the client wants to build on that uneven foundation which doesn't scale well at all.
As the code base expands and increasingly complex functions are added, development and maintenance times also increase to cater to these new facets.
Being the sole programmer in the company who can navigate this mess, you naturally want things to change and you have a general idea of where to start.
When you suggest spending time to change the site to steer it into a future modular state, your boss denies that and subtly claims "we'll lose face" and "they are paying us for x,y, and z. we can't spend time on this right now".
When your boss has thrown hardware at the problem for years and both you and the company's senior DB Admin know that time is running out to change the codebase and DB structure before the site explodes.
I am depressed in my current job, because I want to see our company's largest client succeed and be happy with the work we do.
I'm not happy because I am being paid less than the people that ask me for help every day, because I lack a piece of fancy paper.
I cut my teeth with a lot of technologies working towards what this client has wanted.
I've tried to change things for the better with each new section of this site, but it's still a trash-can underneath the front-end veneer.
I hate that I'm now responsible for someone else's shit and can't make it better. | Someone else wrote code for a site I'm now in charge of. This site's traffic and profits have increased very much, but the codebase and DB structure are NOT scalable at all. Help! |
t3_y6lw8 | dating_advice | She's still looking for friends. | So I've been talking to this girl on a dating site, and I just recently asked her out. Now, she never explcictly said no, but she revealed two things, that she just had a pretty bad thing happen in her life, and that just a week ago she started 'seeing someone'. She specifically said 'It's not like I'm getting married', though. I noticed that same day she had put on her profile she is seeing someone but is still looking for friends. I should also note that she said we should hang out in person fairly soon.
I'm not entirely sure how to handle most of this. I mean, I'd want to give dating her a shot, but obviously she's already dating someone else. It's not like I don't want to be friends, because I do.
So, did she pretty much 'friendzone' me, or is she keeping me on the backburner in case the first one falls through?
I'm a bit confused, so if anyone can understand this bit better, or if anyone has any help or suggestions, I'd like to hear 'em.
I'm 20m, and she's 19f. | Girl on dating site is already dating someone. Says still looking for friends. Am I in 'Friendzone' or on the backburner in case the first falls through? |
t3_3wl32g | tifu | TIFU at the gym. | This happened this morning. I usually workout for longer on Saturdays as I don't have work so I try and get lots done.
I always finish on the treadmill and have a shower before I leave and it had just hit 2pm when I'd stopped. I then realised that the gym was pretty much empty and the instructor was turning off the TVs and equipment. I then remembered that the gym closed at 2pm on a Saturday so I quickly apologised and ran upstairs to get changed.
There were 2 other guys in the changing room so I didn't feel too bad that I was the only one still around. So, whilst furiously trying to towel down my sweaty body and get dressed, I noticed all the lights went out and the sound of an alarm being set.
So... shoelaces untied and clothes hanging off me, hair a complete mess, I run out of the changing room to find the gym completely empty, doors locked and shutters down. I run downstairs to try and catch the guy before he drives off.
As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I set the alarm off, it's LOUD, I'm starting to worry. I can see out through the doors and shutters but there's nobody there. I think to myself he'll hear the alarm and come back.... but he doesn't.
I consider my options, I could call my mum but there's not much she can really do so I decide to call the non-emergency police line so they can break me out. The female responder (whilst stifling laughs) tells me she'll try and get someone out to help me but it could take some time as my town is obvious lawless and rife with crime.
Once I get off the phone I figure there must be a fire exit out the back or something as I don't want to spend my whole day stuck in the gym. Luckily for me there is a fire exit and I burst through the doors back in to civilisation to carry on with my day.
On the bright side, my aaaaaaaaabbbbbbs are looking good! | Lost track of time in the gym, got locked in, alarms, panic, and phone calls to the police ensue before making a daring escape to freedom. |
t3_4phn6f | relationship_advice | Girlfriend [F/25] editing body in pictures for social media | Hi all,
I tried to find any previous posts/articles regarding this, however to my surprise could not find any.
My girlfriend is currently traveling, and the other day she sent me a picture she had taken and wanted to post. She's big on editing photos (IE., filters, cropping etc.,) and pretty much always has been for as long as we've been dating. However, in this photo, I noticed that it looked different. She looked extremely skinny (leaning on the side of too skinny for my taste), and looked much taller. So I replied that she looked cute and looked really skinny (with the context of a 'but look really skinny'). She told me that she had stretched it height wise because the outfit she was wearing made her look 'fatter.' She sent me the original and I said that she didn't look fat at all, and that I though she looked much better and more beautiful in the original. However, she ended up posting the edited photo, by 'accident.'
My girlfriend is a hard 10, and I say that stripping away as much superficiality as possible. Throughout this relationship, she's admitted to me, and what I believe I have seen to notice, is that she has most likely grown and taught that her greatest asset is her appearance, which is truly only one of her many captivating attributes.
I'm here because I know I need to treat this with sensitivity, and I have always tried to empower her and show her that she is more than a face, however I am also disheartened and kind of turned-off(?) that looks are so important to her.
Please note that the latter statement here, I understand is a selfish and judgmental thought, but it is a thought nonetheless and is currently hindering my ability to progress and approach this topic with her correctly.
Which brings me here, can anyone please advise me as to how you/I should approach this?
Thanks! | girlfriend seems to be affected by her personal body image, to the point I don't understand how someone could be so affected by it, but I want to help her at the same time. |
t3_2jwwqe | college | Lonely Freshman Here- How Often Do You Socialize? | I am currently a freshman at a small liberal arts college far away from home. My schedule has me working or in class everyday from 10am - 6pm. After class I will usually have a meeting or two, if not I will go to a campus activity. I eat meals with people in my class and occasionally study with someone in my class. Other than that, I find myself with no one to hand out with, sometimes due to my limited free time. I often spend days going to class, work, meetings then staying in my room or studying by myself. This makes sense, as the college I'm attending is quite prestigious and I have a high workload, but I can't help but feel lonely and jealous of my friends and bf who are always hanging out with people at their school. I also do like to party on the weekends but since it's a small school, the parties are off campus and the groups that party a lot are very exclusive, so I normally just go to campus events with a friend or two. | How often do you hang out with people at school? Many days I spend at work and class then study by myself. Is this normal? |
t3_1i53ng | relationships | Am I(26f) asking my older bf (m48) all the wrong questions about having children? ( 2 mo) | After a fiasco I fearfully found out we both wanted kids. He had been talking about them a lot. He never had any but I felt that maybe the dedication to the kids that were not his own made me feel like an outsider in his life. Like there was no room for me to have one. We were always together and were crazy about each other. He was a grandpa figure to the granddaughter of a friend he lived with for7 years. I had been dumped by my fiance half a year before I met (m48).
I wanted a family more than anything after so many relationships. I am pretty and smart but my family past is full of estrangements and violence and feel that my brain sabatoges relationships againt my heart's will.
This is the perfect man and I feel so disappointed for messing this up. He was angry and thought of dumping me after I said my friend had older parents he was required to take care of.
I also joked that he may have fathered a the child he was so close to...he got very upset at that.
I wanted a kid for so long and have had the painful break ups taking me further from my dream. I am no longer a nanny.
Now I feel he is slipping away. How can I get him back. He says time will heal things. On top of this ..the friend he lived with has gotten calls I never made to her. I was scared about these accusations at first but now want to win him over because she has made lies up.
We have both been through so many intense relationships. I am estranged from my family and it is a nightmare talking about someth
ing that is bound to be asked of me by his huge famili(btw he has never been married or had kids...his first fiancée died.) | What can I say to a 48 yr old man who has been hurt by my insults directed at his insecurities when we wanted the same thing..kids? |
t3_1n3pk7 | relationships | Me [30/F] with my BF [29 M] 3 1/2 Years - We're at a crossroads. 10 days to decide. | My boyfriend and I have been together for a bit over 3.5 years now. We have lived together for almost 2 now. We are very happy together for the most part, but we do have some periods of "blah-ness" and periods of awesome awesomeness.
I respect him immensely, I love him deeply and we get along incredibly well.
We have had several discussions about our future together and in the beginning, these did not go so well. He was not ready to discuss these things and I felt terrible for bringing it up. These early conversation have definitely adversely effected how I felt about our future at the time as I pushed away any thoughts of a proposal. Well, now things have changed somewhat and we are definitely able to discuss our future more naturally. These discussions, however, usually lead nowhere definitive, but generally strike a positive tone.
I am ready to make some big changes in my life career-wise. I told him this much and said, 'I need to know where we stand so I can make the best decisions for myself and my career." I am considering going back to school, and would consider an out-of-state school if we came to the conclusion that our relationship is not heading towards marriage.
In the past, we've had similar discussions but like I said earlier, they never really lead anywhere. So this time, we decided that we would take 10 days and journal out all of our thoughts. At the end of the 10 days we'll meet and share our thoughts and go from there.
At this point, I truly have no idea what is going to happen or what we are going to conclude. I think it is a possibility that we will not make a decision, and continue to go on as we have. Neither one of us wants to make a decision about our relationship!
So - question to y'all: Over these next 10 days - what should I do? What questions should I ask myself? | Long-term boyfriend and I are trying to figure out if this is it for us - either marriage or break up. We have 10 days to figure it out! What should I do? |
t3_1qhz5q | relationships | Well. I (F21) went and fell for my FWB (M22). Help? | So surprise surprise.
I've known this guy since I was 14 and we'd been friends through our mutual best friend. She at the time had a huge thing for him but that's long past now.
We'd lost touch after high school but used to be quite close, late night heart to hearts, "I love you"'s etc. I cared for this guy like a brother.
Anyway flash forward, he'd been away for school and just returned to our home town this summer and we made plans to hang out. Hooked up, didn't talk for a month, but then went back to being friends and never talked about it. I thought we'd let it slide as a one time thing. Hung out again a few months later, sleep together. And this has been going on since for the past two or three months, where we hang out as friends, and somewhere in between hook up.
He's pretty blatant about where he stands on the issue even though we never talk about it. He'll openly talk about other girls he wants to hook up with etc. and honestly he's planning on going away for school next year/ is looking for work anyways so who knows how long he'll even be here.
Except I got the feels.
I don't want to bring it up as where we share a friend circle it's not like I can avoid him until he leaves. And I don't want to lose him as a friend. Plus the sex is spectacular. I just need to find a way to suck it up I guess?
Any advice would be great Reddit. | Old friend came back in town, we've been hooking up randomly but still act as friends. I got the feels. Help. |
t3_23ao93 | Advice | Internship, or job experience? | Keeping it short, I've been handed a LOT of responsibility as a Supervisor in a tech based job for over 4 years, but I will have to lose the position within the year for the simple reason that is is a student only position, and I am graduating shortly.
I cannot move up to a full time job, unless someone in one leaves, and they aren't the kind of job one gives up easily.
My major [a type of architecture] will want to see some experience in that field, which my job currently is not.
Should I seek an internship out of school, or do you guys think I can swing my skills and show my school portfolio well enough they'll overlook interning?
If that falls through, is there a good chance I can get a decent job on my way out of school? I've got some insane amounts of tech and people skills, and have handled huge amounts of responsibility in this job so far. If qualifications would be useful, I can list some of my skills and responsibilities to see what you all think? | I am in school, soon to lose my student only job of 4 years which will look excellent on any resume, but it is out of the field of my Degree, and I just want to be in a financially stable job ASAP. |
t3_3ps3cd | tifu | TIFU by leaving my friend's "tracking device" on airplane mode. | So I got a call today from my neighbor, who's had suspicion of his wife cheating on him, and he was cussing at the top of his lungs.
For the past month his wife has been "sketchy" to him and he even went to the extremes of ordering random cheap Chinese made spying devices ($5-$10) from China which would take weeks to arrive, too late! Instead, he has a business phone (iPhone 4s) which is locked but I figured a way to reset it and get find my iPhone working.
I tell him it works perfectly and all he has to to is pop it into his wife's car and use his phone to find her.
So the night before he was so happy and excited to try it out, his wife which is going on a "business trip" driving client to client for the next few days. (he thinks she's up to no good). I figured the phone has great standby time so it would last a couple days.
So he hides it between the seats and awaits the next day. I told him last night that leaving it on airplane mode would charge faster cause he had to slip it in the car ASAP!
And I told him many times to remove it from airplane mode! But he forgot I guess.. And now his leads are all gone. And he's about to kill someone. Fail. | converted friends work phone into a tracking phone with find my iPhone, just in time for his wife's business trip. He stashes phone in the car but leaves phone on airplane mode. Lol |
t3_3pqfih | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ex-gf [18f] 2 years,how do i move on from a perfect relationship destroyed by circumstance? | I met my ex-gf in the summer of 2013 through friends and we quickly began texting 24/7. Come October 2013 we were officially a couple and going out and went strong through my senior year (her junior year) and then on to my freshman year at a nearby community college. When she graduated she elected to go to a teaching school about 45 min away, not too far and even my sister went there.
However, both never seeing each other and lack of communication led to several big fights where we almost broke up. In addition, I was very insecure(but worked on it and improved) about several issues and relied on my ex-gf too much when she already had a lot on her plate as it was. Eventually, she told me she was very unhappy not only with the current state of our relationship but also how little she saw me and how we were just growing apart. She couldn't continue to be in this any longer and couldn't see it improving. I understand this is common in relationships such as ours and she wouldn't give us one more shot even though i practically begged.
The toughest part of this break up was that i relied on her for a lot and it wasn't as if we hated each there or anything. We still love each other A TON. She apologized to me a hundred times and basically said I was all she could ask for but it was too much for her and she needed to find her own happiness and not rely on me. When were in person together nothing could have been more perfect. I love her with all my heart and would do literally anything to save this, absolutely anything. Unfortunately, i don't think anything i can do anything to fix it.
So, what I'm asking is:
- anyway to save this at all?
- How do i stop texting her and stop viewing her as my girlfriend?
how do you go from 2 years with such an amazing person to never talking to them again? I'm sick of crying i could use some help. Sadly enough, normally i would say get a new hobby, but I already work, go to school full time and play too much golf.
Thanks in advance. | !Perfect relationship until ex-gf left for college. Cant rely on me anymore for her happiness and needs to fix herself. Can get over it and can't stop thinking about her and texting her. need help. |
t3_3izofj | tifu | TIFU by Making my Parents Think I'm on PornHub | So this actually happened not too long ago, but Reddit removed the post because it was officially not the weekend right when I had posted it.
I want to start this off by saying I am a diehard Fallout fan. I have already pre-ordered Fallout 4 and it is currently sitting in my Library under the category "Ayy Lmao". That being said, I want to see this game and its gameplay so I can judge my PC being able to play or not.
I've watched the E3 stuff, the montages, the Xbox Conference stuff. But then I heard there was leaked Gamescom footage available on YouTube. I go to check, and all I see is videos about it getting removed from YouTube, not the video itself. They all talked about it being moved to PornHub, with a very specific name so that you can find it easily there if you know it. I thought this was hilarious, so I decided to check it out.
Mind you, I was away from my PC, so I used my phone on data to look it up. I went to PornHub, looked past the girl getting gangbanged, and typed the name of the video into the search bar. Sure enough, the thumbnail popped up, along with several other videos of sexual nature. I tried watching the gameplay, but it wouldn't load. So I said "Fuck it" and just closed Safari.
Fast forward a few days later, we're at the mall (me and my family) and we want to go out to eat after we leave. It was late, so my stepdad asked for my phone to look up the closing time of a restaurant (he forgot his phone).
I hand him my phone absentmindedly, and then remember that if you close the safari app but not the page, *it remembers and loads the page and url for you.*
He sees the PornHub url, makes a funny face, and then shows my mother. Obviously, they don't believe my story. I'm 17. | Tried to watch Fallout 4 gameplay on PornHub, forgot to close the tab, and my parents opened it up on my phone a few days later. |
t3_300q0o | tifu | TIFU by switching on my grandma's tv | So this happened a few weeks back but I forgot to post it.
Bit of back info: my grandma is very old and frail and my uncle/her son has lived with her all his life. For the past 10 years since my granddad died, it has been them 2 living alone in the house. My uncle is slightly odd - 60 years old, never had a girlfriend, never been married, lived with his mum his whole life, whereas his brother took the normal route in getting a wife and a family etc. Me and my family are always wondering why he doesn't get himself a girlfriend or something but we just conclude that he seems fine as he is as a single man with no kids, but he is the best uncle ever.
Ok, so to the TIFU. A few weeks back I was visiting my grandma as I live in a different city so I don't see her that much anymore. I came for lunch, and just like in my childhood, she told me to go to the living room and watch tv while she finished cooking. As an old woman, she gets really stressed about everything having to be perfect so had been cooking for me since the early morning, bless her. Anyway, I sit on the sofa and switch the tv on, and the tv comes on with a blank screen and the channel on the top of the screen. It was 'Adult BabeStation 1' or something along those lines. I cringed slightly as it meant someone in this house had last been watching this sex channel, which only played from midnight until 5am. Obviously it was my uncle, who has been there for me for years, but I can't look at him the same way again as I can just imagine him in the living room, my grandma asleep upstairs at 2am getting some pleasure. We're still wondering why he won't get a girlfriend. | visited my grandma for lunch, switched tv on and 'Adult BabeStation' channel came up after the last person who watched it. |
t3_4p5na5 | tifu | TIFU by doing an insane farmer's walk | Not today but within the last 30 days. For my company, I use something called glycerine, a colorless and odorless liquid that's very thick. I buy it in gallon jugs, each weighs about 5kg or 11lbs. I ordered some more but since I recently moved, I didn't update my shipping info on the website I order it from so it was mailed to my old address. I found this out as it was delivered, since I got an e-mail saying they left it at the door but it wasn't at my current residence. No biggie, I'll just go get it. I don't have a car, and my old home is only about a 10-15min walk away. How hard could it be to carry around 150lbs more or less exactly 1km away?
Apparently very hard. It was packaged in two boxes, not one like I imagined. One around 65lbs, the other around 85lbs. No handles on the boxes, just strings wrapped around so I can lift it, but I don't have much to hold onto. This is problem number 1: it's off balance if I carry one in one hand and the other in the next. Problem number 2 is this is too heavy to carry like that. The boxes are too big to stack on top and lift, they need to be on my sides. I started going to the gym in November, and my shoulders are by far my weakest muscle group: I can shoulder press around 50lbs to give an idea. Problem number 3 is, since I need to lift them by strings, they were cutting into my hands making it uncomfortable to hold.
To make a long story short, I did it, but it took me over an hour as I needed to break every minute or so. When I got home, my hands were all bloodied, and I was sore all over. The next morning my traps were swollen as fuck and I could barely move. I effectively did a 1 kilometer farmer's walk about 5% lower than my one-rep max when I normally work around 15-20% lower than my 1RM. | did a farmer's walk for 1km with stuff that's way too heavy for my weak little arms. Didn't think to bring a dolly. |
t3_25lo8j | relationships | My (f,21) friend (f,22) shares too much detail about her personal life and makes our other friend (f,22) uncomfortable. How can I bring it up with her? | Quick backstory:
I am at uni with two girls (let's call them Sally and Erica) who are my friends but have recently met and started spending some time together. I have been friends with Sally for just over a year and friends with Erica for about 8 months. Sally is a bit of a narcissist and loves talking about herself, to a ridiculous degree. She shares WAY too much of her personal life with others around her, mostly regarding her sex life. Everything she says, she basically shouts, so she's telling the whole campus/restaurant/street a story when she tells one person.
Erica has only spent a little bit of time with Sally and these graphic sex stories and texts make her very uncomfortable. Sally also messages Erica incessantly and does not often leave her alone. As they are new friends, Erica is not sure how to say anything.
The issue here is that despite being a bit of a pain sometimes, Sally is a nice person and supportive friend, so I don't want to hurt her feelings. I'm not sure how to ask her to back off a little without it seeming very rude. | Friend shares too much of her personal life with a new friend and messages her constantly, making new friend uncomfortable. How do I discuss it with her without hurting her feelings? |
t3_3q238h | relationships | Me [32 M] my Girlfriend [32 F] of over a year and half, hid the fact she had an STI | After being with my girlfriend(32F) for over a year and a half, and it was getting to the point that I (32m) was ring shopping, last week she blurted out something...that lead her to reveal that she has been hiding the fact that she has had an STI (HPV) sense before we met,
We started having had unprotected sex after she got an IUD about 9 months ago, I just have to assume that I have it now, (no test for males, only will know after a wart appears, I have also gotten screened for all STI will get the tests back in a week )
She claims that she forgot to tell me, as she would tell her partners but must have forgot to tell me, she is claiming that was a mistake and that she was not intentionally hiding it from me and she holding fast to that claim,
I just don't know if I can recover from this, as my trust is just shattered, I am in fear that there is something else that she is hiding, I know that there are much worst STIs out there and HPV is very common, the fact that she hid it from me is the real problem as i could have gotten the vaccine and assumed the risk myself
Should I continue the relationship and forgive her ? | Girlfriend of over a year hid the fact she had an STI, should I believe that she just forgot to tell me and move on? |
t3_3vxvvs | personalfinance | I Need Budgeting Advice | I just turned 25 today, and I pay $700 a month in child support for my son. By the end of 2016, I want to be back in school, because right now, I can't afford to move out, and with CS being so high, I'm actually paying my bills halfway through my dad. As I said, I want to go back to school, but even with my $11.75/hr full time job, it's CS that kinda stops me from moving forward with anything. I've thought about asking for it being lowered, but from what I've seen, anytime someone mentions that, they just get flamed, plus I'm not sure how to go about that anyway. The original amount was $384, but for some reason I agreed to $700.
Regardless, | I want to go back to school, but I don't want to stop paying child support, and I need advice on how to do this so I can move out of my folks places without going into more debt. |
t3_15pwzi | dating_advice | Help a clueless guy (M/19) | Sorry if this isn't the correct subreddit, if there is a more appropriate place for this please point me that way.
I (M/19) just got out of a two year relationship about two months ago. She cheated on me for the second time and I had enough so I left. I would consider myself over her, but I'm not going to lie there are times where I want to be back with her and I miss her, but I know I can't go back only to have her hurt me again.
Here's where I need help.
Recently I've really started to really notice feelings for a friend of mine (F/18). I had these feelings during my previous relationship and more than once considering leaving my (then) girlfriend to ask out my friend. I've liked her for a very long time, but I've always been too nervous/embarrassed to say anything.
I finally asked her out the other day and she said she's not looking for a boyfriend right now because she's going to college soon and doesn't want a relationship to distract her while she's in school. I completely understand and respect that, but it wasn't till later (after her response) I realized that I've had feelings for her for almost six years now. I can recall the moment I met her (seven years ago) more clearly than someone I met half an hour ago. I can't get her out of my head and I'm freaking the hell out because I have no one to talk to about this that will take me seriously. (all my friends think I'm joking for some reason)
Should I tell her how long I've has these feelings and how I feel for her? If so, how should I go about that? I have no experience with the whole seduction/landing the date thing. My ex was my first girlfriend and literally fell into my lap.
After typing all this out I think I should meet her somewhere and tell her pretty much exactly what I posted here. I'm just too afraid that if she hears all this at once it's going to scare her away. | old relationship went poop all over itself. I notice feelings I've had for a friend (F/18) for a long time and I don't know where to go from there. |
t3_2po39g | relationships | Me [18 M] Has a crush on a girl I've known for a while [18 F] started dating a guy [17 M] that I'm friends with | Alright so there is this girl that I've liked for a while now, we have been friends since easily grade 5. She is literally the only girl that I've met that genuinely makes me feel happy, and after long walks getting up enough courage to confess my love literally the next day after that she is going out with a friend of mine that is one year younger.
The thing that pisses me off is that the day I decide to confess to her this guy asks her out. I've been debating for months now what I should do and the worst possible thing that could happen happened.
Now I can't do anything and I fucking hate myself for it. However I have now learned an important lesson from this experience, sometimes, life fucking sucks and Don't be a pussy and just do it.
I have classes where we sit right next to each other so by tomorrow I have to suck it up and put my big boy pants on. So if anyone here was in a similar situation or has any advice I would greatly appreciate it.
if you don't have anything to say that's fine, I Just really needed to get this off my chest to try and get over it. | Girl of my dreams is now going out with a guy who I am friends with the same day I decide to confess to her. |
t3_4n0yeb | relationship_advice | I am 25[m]. Do I need to ask her [22] to be my girlfriend? | I have been seeing a girl for about a month now. We have introduced each other to our group of friends (she has even brought me to meet her mother and grandmother), have gone on numerous dates, slept at each other's houses, PDA when were out, talked about dates a month or more out, chat daily, have had sex once and oral sex many times.
I am nearly a year out of a 9 year relationship and back in high school when I was single we had to find some clever way to ask a girl out in order to determine exclusivity. My question is: do I ask her to be my girlfriend? Do I have to "ask her out" as it were? Or do I just ask her if we are exclusive and see where the conversation goes? This is all very foreign to me. I've done it like two or three times in my life and that was back when the label was more of a cliche. My goal is obviously to determine that we are exclusive and I am sure we are at the moment based on how much we talk and see each other, but I don't know how to approach the conversation.
Any advice? | Do I have to "ask her out?" or is our relationship habits enough to determine that we are officially 'dating'. |
t3_vgmlv | relationship_advice | [17M] Should I do something about screwing up the first kiss? | Hey reddit! This is a petty problem, but I feel pretty crappy about it and need some quick advice from someone willing to help out a newcomer to relationships. I've been in some form of a relationship with this girl [16] for two years. Things have gone slow because of initial awkwardness and parental issues, but things are quickly getting more serious now.
Recently we went on a date and everything went smoothly. I go to drop her off on her porch, we hug, and I go in for our VERY first kiss, like EVER (2 yrs, mind you. We weren't terribly romantic with each other until this past year.). However when this moment arose, I gave her a .5 second peck on the lips; it was not an ideal first kiss, hell, It wasn't even really a kiss. I don't know why. I WANTED to kiss her, I went to actually do it, made contact, and I messed it up.
She hasn't talked to me since (3 days) and we normally talk or text every single day. I feel as if I let her down. This isn't going to destroy our relationship and I know we'll kiss in the future, but i can tell she is sorely dissapointed. I am kicking myself. Should I try to do something to signify that I'm sorry? Do I just move on and accept that I dun goofed? I just need some quick advice to calm my mind. | I gave a fairly disappointing first kiss to my longtime love interest. I feel like I've let her down. Do I do something to make up / apologize for it? Or just deal with it? |
t3_202cah | relationships | My boyfriend [18 M] of one month is acting unsure with me [19 M] and we're struggling to communicate | My boyfriend and I have not been dating very long but recently we spent the weekend together. On Saturday night we had sex for the first time. While not a total disaster, it was less than perfect and ended on an embarrassing note.
I get anxious and panicked in the face of embarrassment and evidently I let it get to me because my boyfriend said today that I was acting off with him on the Sunday after the incident.
I'm trying to communicate to him that it was just tiredness and embarrassment but his responses are ambiguous and frustrating despite my attempts to be as clear as possible. I'm beginning to get the feeling that there's actually something wrong on his end and he may even no longer wish to continue the relationship.
I would like to link to a small text conversation which illustrates my attempts to be clear with him and his short, ambiguous responses, but that's against this subreddit's rules.
Am I dealing with this situation wrong? How would you proceed in my shoes? | Had an embarrassing sexual experience with my boyfriend and it caused me to act off the following day. He is now acting unsure about us and is difficult to talk to. |
t3_2pg3nv | relationships | I [24 F] am not sure how to approach my relationship with my recently estranged dad [55 M], who did no substantial wrong but still left me with a sense of abandonment | About 7-8 months ago, my dad took a trip back to his hometown to attend to his own family issues and afterwards, chose not to return. He has sent me some e-mails speaking of how he hopes I can understand that this move is something he felt was necessary for his own happiness. I did not give much of a reply to these emails, sometimes replying with just "Ok" to notify him that the message had been read.
I received another message just yesterday with him checking in on me. I wrote out a long reply stating that I can understand his move and that everyone, no matter their age or stage in life, deserves to pursue happiness. And I truly do believe this. However, sending me an e-mail once every couple of months does not a father make. We have not spoken on the phone since he's left and I of course have not seen him. I've begun to accept that at the moment, I have no father in my life. As far as I know, if I were to get married in the next several years, I would walk down the aisle alone. I don't know how to approach this situation. I am a grown adult and will likely not be dealing with the emotional trauma that might occur with the father abandoning his small child. But it's still bizarre. We had such a great relationship thus far.
I do not doubt that he still loves me. But it hurts nonetheless. He chose to leave. | Dad recently left my family and is leading some other life. I don't doubt that he loves me but I can't shake the sense of abandonment |
t3_26k1p4 | relationships | What do I (27f) do when my boyfriend (26m) gets addicted to a video game? | My boyfriend overall is not addicted to games everyday of the year but every once in a while will find a game and it becomes a 24/7 marathon of barely eating, barely leave the house, stay up all night before work, think about it all the time, barely see friends or me, etc. I know people enjoy a game here or there sometimes too much, but this is different. He gets extremely more touchy and irate and will basically sometimes temporarily break up with me so he doesn't have to deal with anything in life but his game. This happens for multiple weeks, sometimes even months, until he finally beats the game, gets sick of it, or gets banned for cheating.
When I am used to us hanging out on the weekends and going places and seeing new things and people, then one weekend suddenly he is confined to his apartment and causing fights, I am left feeling lonely, confused, and tossed to the side.
We recently came up with the idea of switching off planning weekends because WE wanted to get out more and travel and meet people. This was more his idea than mine even. This was his weekend to plan but then he found this game last week and that idea went out the window. He didn't plan anything obviously and the only place we've gone is down the block for lunch.
So I am sitting here on a beautiful sunny holiday alone because I didn't make any plans with other friends, typing this while he is in his dark apartment staring into a monitor. What am I supposed to do in this situation? | While I want him to have freedom to do his own things, I don't think it is fair to basically check out of your responsibilities when it suits you. |
t3_lz3b8 | AskReddit | What can I do for this awesome young girl? | First, some back story:
I'm an AmeriCorps member working as an academic tutor at a charter school. AmeriCorps is a national service program where people like me get paid almost nothing to work with poor and disadvantaged communities. Because my stipend is so frugal (note: stipend, not wage) I've given up my car and have been biking and busing to my site every day.
ON TO THE STORY
Yesterday, somewhere on my bike route, my phone (a Nexus One) fell from my pocket. It was totally my fault, I must have simply forgotten to zip up my pocket after I checked the time. Once I got to my site I started to file an insurance claim and all that because finding my phone seemed impossible.
Well, I log onto facebook to make the obligatory "I have no phone" post and I see that I got a message from my mother. A middle-school girl had found my phone and instead of pocketing it, selling it, or throwing it into the river she decided to check my contacts, find my mom, and let her know that the school office had my phone.
For a middle-school aged girl to show that kind of responsibility was amazing and deserves some kind of reward. Obviously the school can't tell me who the girl was but the secretary said that if I send them a gift they'll make sure the girl gets it.
So here's my question: I'm a not flush by any means (see the bit on AmeriCorps) but I want to get this girl a gift of some kind but know nothing about her. What do you guys think a good gift would be? | A middle-school girl found my phone and returned it. I want to give her a present but need some suggestions. Also, I'm pretty poor. |
t3_2e1bk5 | relationships | My [23, F] boyfriend [25, M] has a lower sex drive, and I'm feeling insecure. | I have a wonderful relationship with a man who treats me like gold. We've been together almost 10 months. We are very happy by his own admission and mine, have no major issues (we bicker like any normal couple but resolve issues because we are great communicators). He is a very "what you see is what you get" guy and doesn't mince words, so I believe I would know if there's a problem.
However, I find my boyfriend's sexual appetite has decreased. Lately doesn't "pounce" like he used to. When I brought it up he said his sex drive decreases when he can get sex consistently from a girlfriend. We also both work full time and end up very tired at the end of the day but that didn't really stop us before. Usually now we just end up hanging out with his new roommates (our friends) or watching TV. However I'm getting frustrated because I have a higher sex drive and I find mine decreasing now because it doesn't happen as much. I do try to initiate, but usually it doesn't go anywhere. He can get an erection, but sometimes doesn't follow through. I guess I just miss when he just HAD to have me at that moment.
I understand maybe we're coming down from the honeymoon period but I've brought it up once before and I don't want to do it again. I just don't know what to do besides wait it out.
Is this decline or plateau in sex drive normal? | Boyfriend and I having sex less. He says it's not personal, but it's making me insecure and affecting my sex drive. |
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.