id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_32qtvq | relationships | I'm a [23/F] still in love with my ex [26/M]. It's been over a year. | Before I say anything else I just want to say communication with him is not an option.
I don't talk to people about this stuff. It feels safe to try here because it's somewhat anonymous.. I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I try to talk about it, I don't know where to start or what's important or what I should leave out. How do you sum up 5 years with someone? I never knew I could love like this, I'm not a very emotional person. I'm 23 and I'm not even attracted to anyone, I have no libido. I know that's probably not normal, am I not supposed to be overwhelmed with feelings of sexual desire or something? Seems like all my friends are, to me they seem obsessed with it.. But the only time I really feel something is when I wake up from dreaming about him and even then I don't know if I should laugh or cry, feelings have never made much sense to me. It's been over a year, hell if I'm being honest it's been almost two years. How much longer is this going to go on? Why does it feel like he died? | It's been almost two years since our break up and I'm still so in love with my ex it's making me miserable. |
t3_35tj35 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Family [30+ M/F] 25 years, Should i stop trying to help my family ? | they are borderline retard, if i wasn't there to help them they would be homeless asking for tips to buy some food or in mental hospital,
they relay on me too much because i'm the only son in the familly so they expect that my duty is to fucking assist them in everythings but only when they need it, i have 2 sisters but you know, girls are useless, they are more preoccupied to know if "brandon" or "joshua" have a crush on them or what their friends do on facebook
they fucking make me mad, they give me the impression that i'm the parent of my parents and sisters
they are incapable to sort their own problems, incapable of taking the right decisions, incapable of being successful at any things.
i sometimes ask them " if i weren't here what would you do ?" they don't know what to say
my health is completly fucked up beyond "repair" (i'm 25 years old), a combination of incredibly shitty genetics, luck, family and environment and some mistakes,
i'm tired of trying to manage all of this, it's too much for me, i'm becoming literaly insane and i feel i have the brain of a 90 years old man
what should i do? | my Family are like childrens incapable of taking care of themselves or solves their own problems and they count on me and i'm fed up/ what should i do reddit? |
t3_41xv5u | jobs | Should I Just Freakin' Quit Already? | Job: Emergency Medical Scribe
Wage: Minimum in Texas ($7.25 before taxes)
I'm a recent college grad, living with my folks until I decide on grad school/med school. I am 1000% over my job. My duties constantly fluctuate from hospital to hospital and provider to provider, causing anxiety. My training location-specific training is laughable, and I'm left to stumble along until I'm told I'm wrong most days. I'm scheduled at random hours with shifts that vary in time from 7-12 hours straight (with no guaranteed breaks), I make minimum wage, I spend a good fraction of my paycheck just on gas to get to work because they have me working at 6 different hospitals across the metroplex. Even working full time+ (32 hours is full time with this company) I've only managed to save a couple thousand dollars because of the wage. In addition, my hours have been cut from 40 to the bare minimum of 32... there's even one week in February where I only work 24.
I took this job for the experience, which is about the only perk I had expected that was delivered. My med school application stats aren't stellar, and I figured I could get close to a doctor or two and get a nice rec letter to boost myself up a notch. But I work in so many different places with so many different doctors that I haven't gotten close enough to anyone to ask for a favor in good faith. It's been good exposure to emergency medicine, but now more than ever I am ready to do something else with my life. (Plus, my schedule is literal shit for February.)
So should I just go ahead and put in my two weeks? I'm gunning for an EMT certification by April, I don't have any pressing bills to pay on a day to day basis other than gas since I still live with my parents. I don't know if I'll be happier as an EMT, but I'll definitely be excited by the new experience and if I like it enough, I'll keep it until I go back to school. | My job sucks from every aspect except experience and I've got pretty much all the experience I need. Should I quit? |
t3_zw1nf | AskReddit | How to convince a mother to buy a pet? | I am a 19 (in uni) year old son of a mother who literally controls the house, everything is her own furniture, tv, event though my dad pays for most of those things, she still controls them.
She also controls the people/animals who are in the house, we had a hamster when I was 7 and she hated it, and I have to admit it smelt like shit.
Anyway, she doesn't think I'm responsible (i'm actually really responsible), and I'm willing to pay everything. she's just afraid of them, and she's just never faced her fears. She always think that all animals are smelly, unclean creatures that are useless, which IMO is pretty cruel. I tried to go to a shelter with her (just to see puppies) and she heard barking and went back inside the car. I'm not sure if she has a physiology problem but I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
/r/aww is one of my favorite subscriptions, and seeing all these "look what I just got from the shelter today post" are making me a wee bit sad, I am bit introverted and everytime i see dogs i smile.
I don't mean to sound like a brat or anything, but you don't wanna know how much I wanna dog. | I really like dogs, but mom won't let me because she's afriad of 'em. really want one. |
t3_2x3y05 | relationships | How do I [26f] explain the gap in my history? | I'm 26 years old and behind most of my peers in terms of accomplishments, i.e. only just entering my 2nd year of undergrad. The reason for this is that for most of my late teens/early 20s, I was suffering from anorexia and spent the bulk of my time in and out of hospital. Because of the severity of my illness, I did very little work during this time and my attempts at study were brief and ultimately failed.
I'm fully recovered now and feel that my experiences have made me a far better/stronger/more grounded person than I was before my illness, but when a guy inevitably asks what I've been doing with myself, or why I started uni so late, I never know what to say.
I don't really want to disclose this degree of personal info on a first date, but it's hard to fill in that blank without lying ("I was working/studying") or sounding unmotivated ("I wasn't doing much of anything"). I've thought of trying to beat around the bush, but don't know which words to use without sounding like I'm hiding something. Any pointers? | Was anorexic in my early 20s and subsequetly started work/study later than most. How do I explain the gap in my life/late start to study to dates when they ask about it? |
t3_4q8xg5 | relationships | I [20 M] with my friend [20F] who interested in me, also im into her too | I had anxiety years ago and beat it but still it (rarely) gets triggered somehow. When that happens it happens very harsh, like having panic attack.
So I met this girl few months ago and we were seeing each other, one night when we were talking she said that she likes me. Of course, it didn't go well, not that i don't like her. Not sure if I had a panic attack but that moment felt so surreal and never felt that much anxiety before. I wasn't able to think and told her something like "I cant think right now" "I don't know what to say". Then she wanted to go.
Since that day we are still talking everyday, its been a month. Sometimes I feel depressed and self pitying myself because i couldnt talk to her. Should I explain it to her and tell her i like her too or is it a dead end now? | She said she likes me, had a panic attack. After a month should I talk her about it and tell her that i like her too? |
t3_1va4uw | relationships | Dating him (31M) for a month. I (29F) can't stop worrying things are too good and will fall apart based on past experiences. | Him and I met about a month ago, and we hit it off right from the start. I've had that "spark" with guys before but never to the extent that I do with him. We just click with each other, and I feel incredibly comfortable around him (which usually takes a while for me to feel).
Since our first date we've spent the last few weekends together and have seen each other at least once during the week. Each time we have a great time together, and he treats me better than any man I've ever dated in the past. He does little things that are so incredibly considerate that they sometimes throw me since I've honestly never had anyone treat me this well.
The problem is that I can't stop worrying that it's all too good to be true and will fall apart. I had a LTR that ended at the beginning of last year, and when I finally started dating again things did not go all that great. I had a few guys that said all the rights things and talked about all these future plans only to pull the fade on me.
One guy in particular I spent a lot of time with, like I'm doing with the current guy, and he kept saying how much he liked me and making plans for things we should do together. Literally within 24 hours he went from that type of talk to saying we need to slow down and fading on me. I came to find out later that he had cheated on me and decided to date the other girl instead.
I think part of me is worried that the same thing will happen again. This guy tells me all the time how much he likes me, and while I do believe him, part of me can't help thinking that I've heard that before.
How do I stop worrying that things will fall apart like with other guys? Also, is it maybe a bad thing we're spending so much time together already? I really enjoy being with him, but I do worry that we're moving so quickly that it will burn out just as quickly. | Dating great guy for a month yet can't stop worrying that it will all fall apart based on past dating experiences. How do I stop thinking that? Bad that we spend a lot of time together already? |
t3_4sjoyu | relationships | My [24f] boyfriend [31m] is using steroids. | Dating for almost 3 years now, I recently found out he's started using steroids.
He has this small cabinet in his office that I opened up while cleaned and found a bunch of small vials and pills. At first I assumed it was some sort of medicine, I googled what it was - testosterone, anavar, dianabol, clenbuterol. Most of it was unoppened though. Obviously I freaked out when I found out they were anabolic steroids.
I confronted him about it after he came back from work. He seemed really to not even care that I found out, he just had this "yeah, so?" attitude about it all and didn't really see an issue. I've asked him how long he's been using steroids and he said that he's been on them for the last 7 months or so. I was just generally confused. I was angry, confused, sad and just completely thrown off at the same time. He just said that he knows what he's doing because he researched it and he doesn't really see a problem with it. I tried to argue with him, he just said "You're fine with me using creatine and whey, what's the difference? They're just supplements".
I started saying that I was worried about his health, he started listing off people who are on steroids who are well into their 70's, 80's and he just said "Would you rather live to be 60 but in amazing shape and full of energy, or live to be a 100 and suffer for 40 years of being old and fragile?" It was just a really bizzare conversation. I also asked him why he thought he needed it - He's in amazing shape, he always has been. He just told me he's old and "Why not"
I don't know what to say or do now. He said he's not going to argue about this or "listen to anything from someone who doesn't know anything about this subject". I told him to call a doctor and he responded by saying "Find a doctor who lifts weights religiously and then I'll talk to him."
What should I do? | boyfriend has been using anabolic steroids for the past 7 months. Says there's nothing wrong with it. Don't know what to do. |
t3_2vkv8a | needadvice | NeedAdvice, office job of 6 months asked me to start detailing my daily tasks in an email to my superior. | Recently had an employee review, went well, they want to promote me to a new position (small growing company), and today asked if I could start detailing my daily tasks and sending that in an email to my superior so they 'can ascertain how to train my replacement when I move up'.
This is a really small place, so it's not super organized, and as such my original position ending up encompassing a lot of responsibilities outside of my job description (which was discussed in the review, I was thanked and offered the promotion).
Here is the actual email:
"...I would like to try something new here that shouldn't be too hard to maintain. I would like to start keeping track of everything we are doing and what we are spending our time on so that eventually we could possibly get another person in our department to help us out with all of the tasks that we are doing.
So with that being said, I would like for you to open a new draft email message window in the morning everyday, and just briefly write down your tasks as you are doing them. So write which orders your processing, what you're trying to source out, counting in, literally everything that you're doing with your time. Doesn't need to be super long explanations or anything like that but just quick notes of what you're doing. Then at the end of the day after you've wrote everything down as the day is going on just send the email to me. Eventually we are going to need to bring a third person into our area so this will help to put that in motion and figure out exactly what we need them for…"
Part me can't help but think they don't trust me or my quality of work and are setting me up. Should I be concerned? | I have to start reporting my daily tasks at work, and I think there is a possibility they're trying to fire me, despite being offered a promotion. |
t3_1k4fe0 | relationships | Girlfriend (19/F) said she doesn't see us together in the future. Currently 21/M | We have had conversations about the future, and both my girlfriend and I have very different visions of our future. I have no desire for children, yet she wants 2, she would love a house in the country and I would prefer a home in a small town, she wants to travel and I don't, etc.
After a while she said she doesn't see us having a future together, to which I could only agree. However we didn't separate. We are extremely happy together and rarely fight. But her saying we have no future together has stuck with me, and I don't know how to approach the situation, or if I even should. | Girlfriend and I are in love but have no common goals in our future, both have verified this as true. What do? |
t3_1h1c1s | Cooking | How to make a low sugar or sugar free clear glaze? | So I am absolutely in love with these KIND bars with nuts and glaze. But they are expensive. So I've been thinking that I'd make my own bars. All the ingredients are pretty simple, except the glaze that holds the nuts together is not something I know how to make. I've done a Google search for a low sugar or sugar free glaze, which the KIND bars offer. However, all the recipes I've come across contain splenda or other sweeteners. I'm not a fan of fake sugar because of the after taste. What I am looking for needs to have 5g of sugar or less because I'd prefer to limit my sugar intake. I've seen some really great flavours like maple or vanilla glazes, which sound like they would work really well with nuts too. I'd greatly appreciate any recommendations. Thanks! | I want to make nut bars but need a low or no sugar glaze recipe without fake sweeteners that is sticky enough to hold nuts together. |
t3_2fkd2l | GetMotivated | [Text] I quit my job, broke up with my SO, and am moving to another part of the state where I don't know anyone (29/m) | Some poor decisions that I made as a kid have stayed with me mentally/emotionally. I never dealt with it, correctly or at all really, and it's led me to a place of being really unhappy. I spend my days thinking about the things I COULD be doing, or comparing myself to what other people are doing. Despite these things, arrogant or not, I still consider myself to be one of the most physically capable & intelligent people I know. I despise myself because, to quote a really good movie, I feel like I'm 'sitting on a winning lottery ticket but am too much of a pussy to cash it in' (not to say that there are high-level math theorems going unsolved on hallway chalkboards because I can't get my shit together). I'm afraid of failure, I'm scared to be outside of my comfort zone, and I feel like I'm not capable of the things that I want for myself.
I'll be 30 in a couple months. I decided that I can't spend the rest of my life with this type of internal conflict or unhappiness. As the title says, I've made some big decisions and changes recently. I quit my great job, broke up with an amazing GF of 5 years, and am moving away from an awesome city to an unfamiliar place where I don't have friends.
I'm scared shitless. I'm really good at lying to myself and running away from things. I don't feel like the changes I'm making come from a place of trying to escape but it seems like a slippery slope. My question is, for those of you out there who have done something similar or have something to offer, what can I do to help ensure I don't fall back into old habits? How do I keep running TOWARDS something instead of away? Are there tricks to being more honest with yourself, or holding yourself more accountable? I'm dying by starvation of life - please help me be as successful as possible with the changes I'm making. Thank you!!! | I'm unhappy with my life and have made some big changes. What are some tools, tips, or tricks to help me be as successful as possible in improving my life? Thanks :) |
t3_j8c8a | self | Dear ASPCA commercial, your commercials are so fucking sad I have never watched more than 10 seconds. Why not something a little more cheerful? Oh, and Fuck Sarah McLaughlin. | Seriously, cats and dogs are fun and silly, have you ever heard of a site called Youtube?
Jesus Christ with hotwings, guilting the piss out of me only makes me do *everything* I can to change the channel, leave the room or just turn the TV off to get away from those commercials.
If you just *fucking tried* a commercial that wasn't so fucking horrible maybe i could sit through the motherfucker to at least consider the idea!
here, i'll do ya a favor. I'll write a commercial for you now.
[fade from black]...a cute little dog is laying asleep on the kitchen floor
[cut scene to car pulling into driveway]
[cut scene back to dog] wakes up like a lightning bolt strikes him as he excitedly runs around and runs into the door. the door opens and his owner pets him and says HI DOGGY!
see? is that so fucking hard!?!?
that would make me want to get a dog. | some egomaniac with nothing better to do yells at the air about those fucking sad commercials with the Sarah McLaughlin music. |
t3_m58we | relationships | im getting help, one question though... | me F 23 y/o; boyfriend 25 y/o relationship 2 years
I a 23 year old female college student am seeing a therapist Thursday. I have no social life, go from working full time to school full time. that's it, if I'm not at work I'm in class or at the library studying. my grades are great, I am applying for my internship this month and it's starting to feel like I can't do it all. something is going to give, my grandfathers' cancer came back. We are so close. It hurts so much knowing I can not do anything.
I am getting little support from my boyfriend over the past year. We have been together for two years, live together and I feel more alone than ever before. when I try and talk to him about whats going on in my family, I can't get his attention over his computer or phone. He is a loner and introvert and I have no one to talk to about what is going on in my life. so its all building up. mostly I feel like I am talking to a wall.
From my adviser I found out that my campus offers free counseling for students for the first six sessions or something and then its only 15 dollars per after that.
I am nervous because I live in a small town, and are afraid that I'll run into whomever I talk to in the real world. any advice on that?
should I tell my boyfriend? | not sure if I should tell my Boyfriend that I am going to see a therapist. Also nervous about going to see one. |
t3_hv9q9 | AskReddit | Fellow Americans. Just out of curiosity, are those that are proponents of the legalization of marijuana supporting the movement because you want to get high or in hopes of someday seeing an effective American drug policy? | I am asking this question genuinely out of concern. The recent decriminalization of marijuana in CT hit national news and the front page of reddit. All of those in support of this bill, what is your reasoning? Are you supportive of the bill in hopes that now you can get high legally or that the bill will encourage your state to pass the same bill? Or are you in favor of the bill because of the initiative that it represents to reform the current drug policy in the U.S. that is ineffective? Please be honest, I want to know.
I am concerned that too many people are in favor of this bill because it would enable them to avoid some of the consequences that are accompanied by using marijuana. My fear is that once marijuana becomes legalized, not just decriminalized, the public will abandon the effort to reform, or better yet eliminate, the current drug policy. This would be a huge set back in the movement that so many people have worked hard to initiate.
Also, any redditors who live in countries that have made the initiative toward new drug policies, please describe how you view their effects. For instance, anyone from Canada let me know how you view insite and its effects. | Do you support the legalization of marijuana because you want to get high or because of the possible effects that will stem from this action? |
t3_1vqfpu | travel | Long term options post-graduation | What are the long term travel possibilities for an American aerospace engineer graduate (with a TESOL certificate) and a passive income of 900 dollars per month? When I say long term, I mean years, potentially. I am not certain I want to be an expat, per se, quite yet. However, I am not against that idea. My standard of living is pretty minimalist, though I do desire regular bathing and reduced risk of epidemics or violent regions.
I am intensely interested in SE Asia as a first travel stop upon graduation (I graduate in May of 2015). How long could one operate in that region with the funds I mentioned above? I have seen repeated estimates of 20-30 dollars per day as adequate, and I do not require deluxe accommodations by any means. Based on that, I am just curious how long one can stay in SE Asia? I understand visa restrictions in some places, though not as thoroughly as I'd like, because I have not yet directly dealt with them in my life.
Outside of SE Asia, what are some other options? I am too old for work holidays (I'm 30), and I am not relying on my degree as a gateway. It is still an option, though. Basically, if I wanted to travel/backpack/relax without working, what are my options with the funds I have available?
Thanks for any ideas or advice people can provide. | How long could I live abroad with 900 dollars per month passive income? What places are welcoming to extended stays? How do these extended stays work? |
t3_3c6c0q | relationships | My (24f) boyfriend (23m) won't stay over at my apartment. | Since we have started dating, my boyfriend and I almost always stay over at his place. When I ask him to come to my place, he says he isn't as comfortable there or that he has to wake up early for work. I used to have a job at 8am every day and I always stayed at his place then too. I explained that I was frustrated that I barely live at my house anymore so he stayed at my place once but I can't get him to come over unless I ask multiple times. I don't want it to be an issue but it's really getting on my nerves because it seems so unfair to me that I have to drive back and forth all the time. | I stay at my boyfriend's house all the time. I want him to come over sometimes but he doesn't. What do? |
t3_4vf3n8 | relationships | My girlfriend (21f) of 12 months broke up with me over text (20m). | First time posting long time creeper so I'm gonna apologize for formatting errors in advance. My girlfriend ( jane ) and I were dating for about 1 year. To make this concise, she cheated("only kissed a guy because she was drunk") on me once early on and I forgave her, fast forward 10 months everything was going well until one day I hopped on her laptop for some Netflix and her Facebook messages were open with some guy, I didn't peruse too much but what I saw was very suspicious. I questioned her about it and basically I found out the week prior she was drunk at a bar and kissed this guy she was talking to whom had tried to initiate her earlier in our relationship but she curbed him.
I was hurt because she didn't tell me and she was talking him behind me back so I ended it there. About a week later we met up and she wanted me to give her another chance and I did. She said that we should give each other space for the week and we did. We didn't talk at all this last week and today we had plans to meet up and talk about things and how we felt but she canceled on me to go get drunk for the 5th day in a row with her friends.
I asked her if she could squeeze in 30 mins of her day for me and she said no because it was giving her anxiety and then she proceeded to break up a basically year long relationship loosely over text insinuating that she would rather go out drinking ( she just turned 21 ) then talk about our relationship in a positive way. I don't know what to think except I feel like a piece of crap because I gave everything to this girl and she ended over text and now won't reply to me. Also she wouldn't even let me let her end it over a phone call. Im honestly very hurt by this as she was my first real relationship ever, we both lost our virginities to each other, etc... What should I do Reddit | girlfriend left me over text and refused to call or see me, I feel awful about it because I'm so in love with her, what should I do? |
t3_1irvbi | relationships | Me[19F] with my long distance boyfriend [21M] for 5 months, am I getting too old for our relationship? | My boyfriend and I have a long history
HISTORY: Met his friend on xbl in grade 8 met him in grade 10, close in grade 11 then met for the first time december of grade 12 then started officially dating my first year of university after having met several times.
Problem/advice: I told him I wondered what he would do in my shoes. If he was the one going to university meeting a bunch of women while I was 7 hours away at home going to a full time job. He didn't answer the question and I prefer it that way but it brought up the question if I'm getting too old for our relationship? Should I pursue [relationships at] university? Or do I keep what's good while the good is going? I absolutely love him and our relationship. He's American and I'm Canadian (giving you an idea about how moving in together would be complicated since he's not studying). | Is it worth sticking out a great long-term and long distance relationship [while there are many great guys] at University? |
t3_1d0f9t | offmychest | Raging at Bully: Scholarship Edition | Okay, so in this damn game, there's this quest called Discreet Deliveries where you have to go to a place in town that's FUCKING FAR. I get there, running from the mob of angry greaseballs that want to beat me up and go see the nerd guy. He gives me the thing I have to deliver and that goddamn ASSHOLE suddenly pushes me off of my bike and takes it! I tried to get him off and take my bike back but the greaseballs were coming to me. Fortunately I found another bike, and while I got to the first customer nothing really happened besides the greasers trying to kill me.
I get to the second customer aaaaaand... ANOTHER FUCKING GREASEBAG was waiting there to jump me, takes my bike and leaves with it while the angry mob catches up to me. I finally beat them up, but the time is running, and I manage to steal my bike back. I get to the third and fourth customers, mashing the fuck out of the A button to pedal faster.
There's almost no time left and I finally get to the last customer, who is the gym teacher. However the jocks at the gym want me dead too, and when I run to him to give him the package A FUCKING CRAZY GUY suckled with steroids yells at me "I'M GONNA BUST YOUR GUT UP AND WATCH YOU BLEED".
I run like hell to the gym teacher to give him his fucking package and be done with him and then that asshole gut-buster litteraly charges into me, pushing me onto the teacher, damaging him and failing the quest because "DUH YOU ATTACKED A CUSTOMER THEREFORE YOU MUST REDO EVERYTHING!"
Well fuck you game. | I was doing an awfully long delivery mission and when I approached the final customer to give him his package some jock pushed me into the guy, failing the mission because I damaged a customer. |
t3_4f5kz0 | relationships | My boyfriend (25M) wants to leave me (27F) because I won't have a threesome...round 2. | Yes, round two. This happened maybe 6 months ago or longer now. I have had a threesome in my past relationship. My current boyfriend has known about this for awhile. He brought it before saying that I had a threesome before but I won't do it with him and it doesn't make sense. I've explained that I want to be serious with him and don't want to do any of those foolish things anymore. I care about him a lot. Before he has threatened to leave me, saying that I'm not being cooperative. However he was quick to apologize and told me it doesn't matter. Now tonight it was brought up again (drinking game). He is furious and currently packing his things because he says he is leaving...he has had a lot to drink and one friend told me he will cool off. I am not sure if he will. He is going through a lot of trouble to pack all of his belongings. I don't want to lose him but I hate the fact this keeps getting brought up. I don't know what to do! | Boyfriend wants to leave because I refuse to have a threesome with him and I have in my past relationship. |
t3_sg4ty | AskReddit | Ideas for Modern Propaganda Art? | Heya! I'm somewhat new to the reddit community, and whatnot, but I'm in need of advice/inspiration/ideas.
I'm in an art class where we art required to create 12 pieces revolving around a central theme. (AP 2D Portfolio, for those who are wondering). The pieces can be any in any 2D media, including photography and graphic design.
With the last two weeks of the class coming to a quick end, I've realized I only have 11 of my pieces in progress and that I am at a complete loss for the final idea.
My theme: Propaganda for Modern Times, so anything that's relevant to contemporary life will work. To give an idea of what I'm talking about here are the topics I've already tackled: Space exploration, Arab Spring, Occupy Wall Street, oil spills, consumerism, censorship, nuclear threat from the leaders who died in the past year (North Korea, Libya, and Al Queda), as well as individuality in a growing population. Only one of my pieces has been a photograph and I'm hoping for the final one to be another to add balance to the portfolio and time constraints, but I'm honestly open to any media and subject (as long as it fits into the theme, of course.) | I have 2 weeks to complete my art course, but I can't think of what my final project on Modern Propaganda should be based/influenced by. |
t3_4fdopv | relationships | Me [21 M] with my "1 year relationship girlfriend" [18 F] duration, want to propose in a formal/creative way to become my girlfriend, any suggestions or ideas? | Ok, so heres the deal! Since the first time we spoke I felt a beautiful connection with her, we just "clicked"...
We have been friends for almost 2 years, started dating 1 year ago... We werent able to have a "stable relationship" during this time because I was really stressed out with other issues in my life. I decided to put to an end to this cycle I was in, where I couldnt be devoted to her, since this is something I really give value as one of the most important things in my life!
We are dating and hanging out now, but I told her "I want to make this official this time by making something special to propose" …
I want to make something she can remember! Have some ideas, but still im open to hear suggestions! | 1 year relationship in and out because of personal issues, been dating again and this time I want to propose to her to be my girlfriend in a memorable way... Suggestions? |
t3_2jebwg | relationships | I [19M] have always had difficulty trusting people, it's affecting me badly in college | I moved a lot as a kid/young adult. I have always been able to find a few people whom I could nominally call a friend. I always feel like we get off to a good start but something feels like it's missing, even after we've hung out or done things together.
I am a very charismatic individual, I talk to everybody and everything and I am a very friendly person. I am also pretty confident that I'm not a *huge* asshole when I drink. I have rarely had any serious problem with women outside of normal teenager girl problems.
I have a very difficult time connecting with males despite doing things "correctly". I feel like there is a certain "trust" missing and I really don't know how to build it up. I should probably also note that I absolutely do **not** talk behind people's backs ever unless it is clearly positive. I don't tolerate it when it's around me and I call people out when they're doing it. Despite this I always get a horrible feeling that people are talking badly behind my back, especially after I've just walked away to go to class/study/xxx. It seems that one of the first things that pops in my head is the worst thing they could say about me after I'm gone.
Sorry for the great wall of ~~china~~ text | I'm some fucking kid who's good at making acquaintances but absolutely awful at building the "trust" necessary in a friendship, have any of you dealt with this before and if so how did you deal with it? |
t3_2dw0bm | tifu | TIFU By whitening my teeth while browsing the front page of Reddit. | I generally whiten my teeth most weekdays and the process requires about five minutes of time and oral discipline. A good deal of saliva builds up in my mouth as I hold my teeth together and my lips pulled back as far as they can go. Generally by the end of five minutes I have half a mouth full of spit.
Today I clicked the youtube for "If Michael Bay directed Up" and began watching. I quickly realized it was a comedy and went past the five minute mark of my whitening.
About 1:10 into the video a Linkin Park song comes on and the explosions really start to ramp up.
I started giggling to myself but knew I could compose long enough to finish the video. At this point I became sidetracked thinking how funny it would be if I started laughing at the video and spit all over my work computer on my desk.
The thought of this had me laughing even harder and sure enough if you visualize it, you'll get it. I spit not only all over my laptop and my desk but I drooled into my lap as well.
I am waiting to see if the bleaching solution ruins my pant.
Happy monday! | I spit a mouthful of teeth whitener and spit all over my laptop, desk and self while watching "If Michael Bay directed Up" |
t3_nmnza | jobs | Reddit, I need a job! Help please! | I'm just about losing it, been unemployed for about 10 months. Its seriously depressing. I had some mental illness issues back in early March. Which cause me to retire from my job to due weeks and weeks being in a hospital. Recovering for months, and I felt myself again around August. I tried going back to school, complications with FASFA because I had to drop mid semester due my illness. So that fell through. I just want to get back into society, make money and meet people. I've applied countless times with no response. It deters me from applying anywhere else. So are there any businesses that always hire? I don't really care if picking up elephant poop or something really unappealing to work as. | I was hospitalized in March for months. Which cause me to lose both my jobs, and my be DENIED Financial aid for fall. Been unemployed since. |
t3_2luhn6 | relationships | Would it be weird for me [19 M] to date my crush [18 F] if she is my half brother's cousin? | So lately I've been talking to this girl and there seems to be a lot of chemistry between the both of us, but the other night her last name caught my attention and as it turns out she is my half brother's cousin.
Now to put this in a better perspective my mom married this guy and gave birth to my half brother with him before I was ever born. Eventually they divorced and she married my father, and gave birth to me.
I hardly ever see my half brother and I'm practically not related to her both by marriage in law or by blood but I'm still worried how weird this would be seen both publicly and by my family should we start dating is this considered "kissing cousins"? | Me and my half brother's cousin (his father is no longer married to my mom nor were they ever married as long as I was born) and I have been talking. |
t3_3llol7 | relationships | [18 M] Sick of being alone, I feel like I will never find love. | I don't even know if I can post this sort of question here, I'm sick of posting to places like Yahoo Answers and having immature people give me stupid answers, anyway.
I know 18 is still young, please don't tell me that. I have never fallen in love, I have never been hugged or kissed. Most people my age only care about having one night stands, I just want to find love, my soul mate. I guess I am quite shy, I'm a private person, I live at home with my parents and I am currently unemployed, I have to live with anxiety and panic attacks and I have suffered from depression for a very long time. I wouldn't even know how I could be in a relationship with all my problems, what person could ever live with someone who suffers from anxiety and panic, how could I even meet someone? Ever since I was very young I have always felt like I would be alone for ever, it is strange to have felt that all my life as a child, I should have been completely care free. I'm tired of daydreaming about finding love, it just makes me feel worse when I snap out of it, I don't like seeing people in love, I wish I wasn't so bitter and could be happy for them, but I'm afraid I just cant. I just want to find that one person who is right for me, who I can be with for the rest of my life, but I don't think that is ever going to happen, I don't see how anyone could love me, and I certainly don't know how I could ever be a good partner in a relationship with all my problems. Please, if anyone has got any advice or anything that can help me please share it with me, otherwise I am sorry for posting this rant, I wish all of you the best. | Sick of being alone, always felt like I will never find love, sick of seeing other people in love, don't know how someone like me could even have a relationship when I live with anxiety panic and depression. |
t3_3z6256 | tifu | TIFU by trying to make my room smell better | Hi,
Today, early in the morning, I had an insomnia crisis and decided to go smoke. My room is connected by a windowwith another where my aunt sleeps and she is a light-maniac and cannot sleep whenever the smallest amount of light reaches her, so instead of going outside I decided to open the shutter slightly and lean over my window slightly in order to smoke.
As I finished my cigarette, I started smelling cold tobacco everywhere. I quickly threw it and went inside. I decided to leave the window opened in order to let the room breathe and throw some perfume every now and then. So far so good.
The problem is that I forgot to close the window back. My neck wasn't protected well enough by my cover, and a breeze came and gave me the worst torticollis of my life, leaving me unable to move my neck in almost every direction possible, except slightly on the left (about 2cm).
I wouldn't mind this torticollis if I didn't have to go back to the U.S tomorrow from Europe and have a 8 hours flight to take, and class on Monday with three major exams. I'm fucked. | went from a smoke by the window in the middle of the night, room smelled bad, forgot to close the window, got a torticollis and have a 8 hours flight and exams on Monday. |
t3_wo98g | relationships | In long distance relationship and not sure if I'm overly worried or if my gut is telling me something... | I'll start with a history. We have been together 3 1/2 years. Lived near each other for 2yrs, broke up, I moved really far away to live with my folks and go to school, got back together a few months later, now in LDR and see each other in person about every few months plus skype for the past 1 1/2 years. Both have about a year left in school (both 27 and working on second career degrees) and have talked about getting married and build a life together after school.
Here is my issue, I have trust issues from past relationships. We have done awesome for the past 1 1/2 years of LDR, even though it has been a struggle for me at times, I have worked hard to not project my trust issues onto him. He is a good guy, treats me good, loves me to pieces and I don't believe in my heart that he would cheat on me, but I worry about it at times.
Recently he has seemed withdrawn which I chalked up to long days at school. He is working on a math based degree that is really consuming (this is why we broke up and I moved). While on skype I noticed that he had done some "personal grooming" which he normally does not do unless we are going to be together. I froze. He saw and asked me what was wrong, I said nothing (of course) and he told me he did it for comfort and knew what I was thinking. I said that I was dealing with my issues and that he didn't do anything wrong. We were fine and pretty much left it at that.
I REALLY love this guy, want to build my future with him and don't want to hurt our relationship with my issues. He is the one that started the marriage and babies talk so I know he wants the same with me.
Am I being overly jealous and worried for my mind to fly right to "omg what if he is cheating" or is that thought process justified? Does anyone have advice on how to let go of my trust issues from the past? | 3 1/2 yr relationship turned LDR, worried about my past trust issues causing me to blow small things out of proportion. |
t3_2qcfh0 | relationships | Me [20/M] realizing I have a crush on a friend [20/F] who's currently in a relationship.. | I have a crush on one of my friends, who is also a coworker.. She has a boyfriend of 2 years and I don't know if she has any feelings for me. We hang out 2-4 times a week, but talk about everyday, she complains about her boyfriend from time to time, and tells me she can't imagine being with someone forever that doesn't share the same passion as her. We kinda share the same passion, not sure if thats like a hint? We are going back packing for a week, and later in this year we are going on a month long backpacking trip.. Whenever we are chilling she sits pretty close and we have a lot of fun.
At the same time she's also said shit like "Bf thinks I've been neglecting him, and i told him you were just a friend, blah blah"
and also, "don't take this the wrong way, but I can talk to you about stuff more than i can talk to my bf"
I'm thinking she's not into me, or she's just conflicted because she has only known me for like a little over a month. I guess my question is should I tell her I have feelings for her now, or just wait? Its not like I'm in love with her or anything, just a hardcore crush. | Have crush on friend who's been in a relationship for 2 years, not sure if I should tell her I have feelings.. |
t3_13phye | dating_advice | How do you open yourself up to someone? 20F trying to build relationship with 20M | I met this guy at a party and we hit it off pretty well. I really like what I see in him- personality wise, he's smart, etc. etc. he seems like a good person. We've been texting all day, daily, for the past month but it's about petty stuff- like basic facts about our lives and what we did that day. It's all really boring conversation. We've gone out to dinner a few times but I feel like we're both guarded.
Should I take the first step? My biggest concern is that my life feels like an elaborate sob story, and it doesn't make sense to just throw it out there even though I want him to know a different side of me that isn't this light-hearted, jesting girl. And just as much, I want to know more about him too and for us to just open up to each other. I have a ton of problems I don't intend on dumping on him, but at the same time I don't want to hide them from him forever either.
It's been a really long time since I've opened up to people and I don't know how to do it naturally even though I want it to happen. | Our friendship is not taking off and I want us to both open up. What steps should I take / should I wait it out or wait for the opportunity to arise? |
t3_44p2ra | relationships | How can I (25/F) learn to curb periodic feelings of romantic desire? | It may be completely natural to desire a romantic relationship with another person, however, I find these feelings to be quite inconvenient and distressing at times.
For one, I very seldom find members of the opposite sex attractive. I already identify as asexual. However, this lack of attraction goes beyond just sexual. I do not feel repulsed by men, I simply feel nothing as far as aesthetics goes.
Which makes me feel awful, because I may meet someone who is genuinely a nice person, but then have feelings of 'I am not attracted to this individual beyond nonphysical things'. I can't attach any romantic feelings to them.
All of the times people may exclaim that 'personality makes someone beautiful', I am not denying that happens, but for whatever reason, I have never had the chance of experiencing anything like that. And if I date someone I am actually not physically attracted to, then I am doing an unjust act towards my partner.
I made the decision not to engage in dating, because I felt is was the smartest decision. To prevent myself from hurting other people, hurting myself, and wasting other's time. This has not stopped my brain from craving romance though. Which seems counterintuitive, because why am I craving a romance, when the physical elements of a romantic relationship are not even there? Even with distractions, hobbies, work, etc, I will find myself longing for something sensual (not sexual) with a man.
I hope this all makes sense. Because I never could thoroughly explain this all very well to people. | I am a 25 year old woman and find romantic desire to be distressing at times. I am seeking advice or techniques so that I can better relax these desires. |
t3_3ak1vo | relationships | Me [28 F] with my boyfriend [29 M] duration 17 months So today I was cleaning out the house and found what looks like a recently developed hidden picture of my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Should I be very alarmed? | So today I was cleaning out the house and found what looks like a recently developed picture of my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Should I be very alarmed? Unfortunately in my anger I ended up tearing it up and throwing it in the trash. In all honestly I am not sure if the picture was recently put there or not. I have gone into that drawer before but I have never seen it.
I am anxious because I don't know how to talk to him about it. Honestly his keeping pictures of his Ex is something that makes me personally uncomfortable! What do you guys think?
I am also feeling terrible that I was so hurt that I teared up the picture but am also feeling hurt because I suspect that it is a recently developed photo.
What would you redditers advice I do? | So today I was cleaning out the house and found a recently developed hidden picture of my boyfriend's girlfriend. In my anger I tore it up and threw away. What to do? |
t3_1q7c33 | relationships | My long distance gf (19F) of 3 months seem less and less interested in talking to me (19M). What should I do? | So I've been in a relationship with this girl for about 3 months now. We were friends from before the relationship began. We've spent about 11 days with each other in total over 3 seperate occasions. Otherwise we've been in contact daily through skype and texting etc.
However, after my first visit at her place (3hrs away, living with her mom) things kind of got worse. We had some fights before and during my stay there. (She was in a bad mood from a lot of stuff going on in her life and took it out on me and other things. But we agreed to put all that behind us.
It's been about 3 weeks since I got back from hers and I feel like she's less and less interested in talking to me. Until 2 weeks ago we talked with each other every single day since our relationship began and texted all day (60-100 a day).
About 1 week ago I brought it up and said that I felt like she's not really all that interested in talking with me and she said that there's a lot going on in her life but she would try to make an effort.
It hasn't been any better and I can't shake the feeling of talking to some girl that's not really interested when I'm talking to her. This is my first real relationship so I don't really know how to handle this. Am I just overthinking this or should I be worried?
Sorry for giving to little info and for my english, first time posting here and english is not my first language. | Long distance gf seems less interested in talking to me, seems cold when texting and uninterested. What do I do? |
t3_1tlk5a | relationship_advice | I'm [21/f] - My best friend (21/f) is dating a (26/m) destructive asshole. | **My friend** is the kind of person you want in your life. She is way to accepting of any shit you give her, and she gives her all to make you happy. She'd take you out to lunch and pay for it, even if it was the last bit of money she had to her name. She is the type of person to give 100% of herself to whatever relationships she forms. She's been hurt before and ~~doesn't always~~ almost never stands up for herself.
**The guy** is a douche. Granted first impression of him was bad (he got very upset at my friend over an honest miscommunication of dinner plans between my friend and I), but the more she told me the worse my impression of him got. The list (of things wrong with this guy): thief, lies about other girls (and in general), spends her money with the "I'm good for it" lie, never listens to her or how she feels, doesn't respect her, and a lot more.
**Their relationship** isn't healthy and they are always getting in fights and tearing each other down. Yesterday she came over sobbing because of a fight, telling me she told him that she didn't want to see him ever again. Tomorrow they're going to some amusement park. I care a lot about her (we've known each other for 15+ years) and when I talk to her about this guy she agrees with what I have to say (he's not good for you, you deserve better, etc). She even admitted to me that when she sees his texts it brings her down. But at the end of the day she's still talking to him.
For some reason she keeps putting up with his bullshit and I can't handle it. I don't know what to do; I've already talked until my face was blue but I might as well have tried debating the wind. What else can I do? I can't stand to see her commit self-harm via this jackass. But its obvious that nothing I say is changing anything. Advice? | Friend is dating some asshole. I've tried showing her, and she agrees he's rotten, but she's still with him. What can I do? |
t3_16vm9k | offmychest | I really hate how women's "sports" get more attention from everyone. | I know that it's natural for men to give attention to women over other men because we think about sex all the time ect. But I hate it when women get too much attention just by being a woman. Like the surge of poledancer or these hula hoop videos on youtube. I know that some some of these girls are really talented, but the just above average individuals get as much attention because they are girls.
If a woman was good a chess it wouldn't get massive amounts of views on youtube because she doesn't need to be sexy or wear revealing clothing while doing it. Pole dancing, hula hoops or any other "sport" like that is just popular because usually the girls doing it are in good physical shape, so they get recognition by just being hot. That's not a fucking talent that's winning the genetic lottery. | I hate it how we as a society bow to hot girls just because they are hot. You don't even need a special talent to become popular on the internet. Just a good body and maybe big tits. |
t3_2m7pkw | relationship_advice | Is it rude to ask people to be quiet in a communal study area? Explanation in the post, (F19) living in a student accommodation building. | I live in a really big building especially for students with many tenants, but the building is so well designed and university classes so varied that you hardly ever come across anyone in the building.
The building has two "seminar rooms" with desks and chairs, which are presumably there because the desks in our rooms aren't very big. These are communal and there is no rule that says we have to be silent in there; it is just unspecified, so it's down to what people want.
I wasn't brave enough to say anything at the time, but the other day, I was doing my uni work in the room on my own. I was working in silence. About an hour passed before two girls came in and sat at the other desk to do some politics work, and they were **LOUD.** They were pretty much shouting at each other even though they were sitting so close together that their elbows were touching. Granted, they were talking about and doing their work and not just chatting, but they were being so loud that I could hardly concentrate. I could still hear them over earphones.
I just wondered whether it would have been rude to ask them to be more quiet? I know that they have a right to use the room as they like too as it is communal, and I wouldn't have asked them to be completely silent, but I feel that it would have been more polite to speak quietly or even at just a normal level considering that they could see I was working silently on my own when they came in. It is hard to concentrate on your work when people are being that loud and there are other communal rooms that were empty that aren't used for studying, so everyone talks as loudly as they want to in those.
I'm asking this because it looks like I'm going to have to use that room more often and if this happens again I want to know if I'll look like a bitch for asking really nicely if people could be a bit more quiet. | Is it okay to ask people to be more quiet if they are disrupting your work in a communal study room where there is no rule specified about acceptable conversation volume? |
t3_12pcgu | relationships | I have been informed that my close friend[20f]'s boyfriend[21m] tried to rape a mutual friend. Unsure how to act | **Names changed to protect identities. For the record, I'm male**
A few weeks ago I was approached by a friend[21f] - let's call her Megan - who stated that my close friend (Claire)'s boyfriend of close to a year (let's call him Trevor) tried to rape her over the summer. To the best of my knowledge, Claire is not aware of what happened. Megan made me promise not to tell Claire.
I've always felt uncomfortable with Trevor. He likes to snap and undo girls' bras at parties I host, sometimes he gropes people. Some of the girls don't really care, they just get a little annoyed. Others have told me that the next time it happens they will press charges. Claire has known about this behavior, and will tell Trevor to stop when it's brought to her attention, but I think she mainly views it as silly drunk antics.
Now, with my knowledge of the attempted rape, I no longer feel comfortable with him in my home. I like to keep my home a safe environment, and girls have approached me saying that they feel uncomfortable and unsafe with him around. I can't not invite Trevor without Claire asking questions.
How can I bring this behavior to Claire's attention without breaking my promise to Megan? How can I go about asking Megan if I can tell Claire what happened? | Friend's boyfriend tried to rape a mutual friend. Friend doesn't know. How do I tell her without breaking the promise I made to the victim to not tell? |
t3_4dr6u1 | Parenting | Should I allow my father to watch my 16 month old for 5-7 days? | Hey guys, so my wife and I are going to Florida for a week to visit family. My dad and her mother both live down there so it will be a nice trip to visit the grandparents. At the end of the trip my father asked if he can keep my son for 5-7 days, I said no problem, it would be nice to have a break. My wife however is fighting me and coming up with all these reasons why he shouldn't.
A little background on my dad, he brought up 3 boys (including me) and we were NOT easy kids to deal with. My son is a very strong willed 16-month-old and can throw a tantrum at almost anything and also does not sleep very well. She's afraid my dad won't be able to handle this and also afraid that it is too long away from her (my kid is very attached to his mother.)
She thinks this is far too long and also at the end of the trip, my dad plans on driving up to us in New Jersey (21 hour drive) to drop my son off and stay for a few weeks. The drive is also a major concern of hers, but my dad will be with his girlfriend and they have both taken care of my son before.
Am I being too relaxed about this? Is my wife being too strict about this? I think it will be good for my child to be away from mom for a bit since he is overly attached. I also think my dad deserves time with his grandson who he adores. Please any advice would be helpful! | My dad wants to watch my son for 5-7 days in Florida and then drive 21 hours to drop him off home to us in NJ, wife is having issues with this, I am not. |
t3_tg09g | relationship_advice | Is it okay to tell someone you like them in this situation | Hi Reddit. I'm 22/M engineering student. I've known this girl for 6 months or so through my classes. We were in a lab together one quarter and worked on projects in and out of class within a group. We became good friends and have been in classes together every week since then. I see her 3+ times a week.
After the lab I was seriously considering asking her out until I learned of her 6 month long relationship with another guy. I kept that thought to myself and just went with it.
Until recently, I did not realize what kind of feelings I had towards her. I tried to tell my friend why I enjoyed having her as a friend and words came out of my mouth like I've never heard myself say before. I felt like an idiot.
Then, she asks me if it would be possible if I went in to work later one day after class so we could get lunch since we don't get to do that much anymore. We used to eat lunch weekly together with a group of friends, but never in a personal setting. I did not know what to expect, nor did I know how I truly felt other than excited.
Those two hours were the happiest I have felt in a long time. It felt like a glimpse into what being in a relationship with her could be like.
What I learned at the lunch is that her and her boyfriend (now a year long relationship) got into a large argument, they haven't spoken since, and an ultimatum was thrown down by the boyfriend. She figures they will take a break over the summer but she thinks they are done.
I went from feeling fantastic, to feeling confused, and then into full body depression. I feel the need to tell her that I like her. Is this fair given that she is still working things out/just coming out of such a long relationship? I believe after class on Friday given the chance I will pull her aside and spill it. | girl is in a complicated year long relationship, I like her a lot...can I tell her this without screwing things up? |
t3_s9e3c | relationships | Found BF's online dating profile | I am 21(F), he is 24(M), we've been dating for 6 months, in a relationship for 4 months. Long story short, we met on an online dating site that both me and my friend use. We had deactivated our profiles ages ago, but my friend, who still uses the site, recently came across his newly reactivated profile. I made a throwaway profile and have been looking at his profile, and he has been logging in on a regular basis. I am planning on confronting him about it tomorrow.
Is this enough to break up with him over? People don't use online dating sites to make friends. For me, it shows intent to cheat (regardless of whether or not he has, although the fact that the intent is there opens up the possibility that he has). I am distraught, as I care about him deeply, but I don't want to let myself be walked over, which I have a tendency to do. | found BF's newly reactivated dating profile, which he has been using on a regular basis. Should I break up with him? Am I overreacting? |
t3_1hjkdh | relationships | Dad (63) had an emotional affair with my mom's (55) close friend (late 40's). | I'm (28f) mad and don't know how to handle this.
Basically, as the title says, my dad had an emotional affair with my mom's friend. Dad won't admit to ANY wrongdoing. Other woman is out of the picture only because she badmouthed my mother publicly when my mom asked my dad to stop seeing her publicly. She didn't ask him to stop all contact with her (at first), she just wanted him to keep any interactions public.
My dad doesn't think he did anything wrong because it neve progressed beyond "chaste kisses." He never apologized, but my doormat mother is a firm believer in marriage and wants to make it work.
What I'm asking is how do I get over this? As I said before, I see my mom as a doormat and, while my relationship with my father has always been strained, I now feel that don't have a single good thing to say about him. How do I heal from this?
FYI, this all went down about a year ago. I was aware of the end of the friendship between my mom and her friend and I knew dad was handling it poorly (the woman threw a tantrum. I don't think anyone who knew them didn't know about the falling out, but I doubt anyone knew why). I knew they've been having some "marriage issues" but recently found out why. | dad had an emotional affair, mom wants to repair marriage, I'm so angry I could spit. What steps do I take to get over it? |
t3_37c83j | relationships | My [F19] boyfriend [M19] was molested by his mother when he was 7. He insists it was consensual. | We've beein dating for 2 years now. When I used to ask him about his first time, he would dodge the question. After some reluctance about 2 months ago he told me that his first time was actually with his mother.HOver time, he opened up a little more and said that it went on for 4 years. He says it was completely consensual. Is that even possible?
We're going to our hometown next week and I'm going to be meeting her for the first time. It's going to be so awkward. He's fine in the bedroom, no hangups or anything, but do you think I should encourage him to seek counselling or something? The fact that he's so fine with it completely weirds me out. It's especially weird that he still talks to her like nothing ever happened, like a normal mom. Am I supposed to just act like this is normal? | My [F19] boyfriend [M19] was molested by his mother when he was 7. He insists it was consensual. |
t3_2nv71j | relationships | I [20F] think I'm in love with my best friend / roommate [21F] and I have no idea how to proceed. | For the sake of background information: we are both originally from the city of Busan in South Korea. We've been best friends since we were 12 and we moved in together when we started college in the US and we've been even closer since then. I'm bisexual but pretty firmly in the closet; in Korea that kind of lifestyle is completely unacceptable and my parents would kill me if they found out.
I started developing feelings for her about two years ago but I've tried not to let it affect our friendship. We've had sex twice when we were both completely hammered but she's never mentioned it or even acknowledged it happened so she might not remember... which also makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of her which isn't my intention. It hasn't been uncomfortable between us after these incidents but she's never expressed that she enjoyed it afterwards so I have no idea what to make of it. We've always been very comfortable around each other physically; we share a bathroom and we've showered together for the sake of time and such but it was never in a romantic way. I'm afraid that even if she DOES remember the sex, she just thought of it as a fun way to spend our night instead of the emotional experience I had.
I want to pursue a relationship with her because she's a wonderful girl who makes me want to be a better human but I'm afraid that if I confess my feelings our friendship would end. For the most part in Korea homosexuality of any kind is demonized and if she didn't feel the same way she would probably never talk to me again. My heart aches to tell her that I want to be more than her best friend but every time I consider doing it I scare myself away with the other possibility. Should I confess my feelings to her at great risk or stay in the closet? | I'm in love with my best friend and roommate. We've had sex twice but she might not remember. If she doesn't feel the same way our friendship would be over. Should I tell her or stay in the closet? |
t3_1ok1nk | personalfinance | What to do with 401k from old employer/debt while in school | A quick background:
I'm 26, married (wife 23), sophomore in college (wife graduates this semester), currently living off of savings and small income ($450 mo) from wife's part time job.
Finances:
I have enough in savings to last till January (already budgeted in YNAB/Does not include any money I make when I can). My school schedule limits my ability to work this semester, but I squeeze in a shift when I can (have worked three since Aug). All money I make goes to paying down CC debts (above the budgeted $100 mo ($50 per card) that is budgeted).
Debts:
My CC= $1,106.28
Wife CC= $350.39
I have a 401k with Vanguard through my old employer (FedEx). I currently have $7,500 (rounded down to the nearest 100th) in the account. I left this job just over a year ago now. I am not allowed to deposit in this account though it still acquires interest. I do not have any other form of retirement savings (Roth/IRA/401k) nor does my wife (she has been is school since the end of high school).
Neither of us have any other debts (auto/home/school loans/private loans) other than the CC listed above. My wife already has a job lined up with the school lab (a food sciences lab at our uni) that she works at for when she graduates. This job includes benefits (insurance/retirement) and a much higher pay than the minimum she currently gets. We cannot afford to put any money into a retirement account until she gets graduate pay in Jan (As stated above, all of our money is accounted for through budgeting).
With the troubles looming in D.C. what should I do with the 401k? I'm sure money markets are a safer bet (though much lower interest rates) but I honestly do not know what to do with it at this time.
Thank you and sorry for the long post. | I have $7,500 in a 401k that I can no longer deposit into (no longer work for company) and do not have excess income to put into any other form of Roth/IRA till at least January. |
t3_2nrozv | relationships | How do I [21 M] approach my mother [56 F] about her gambling addiction? | My mother is 56 years old and has what I would like to call an addictive personality. She has had or does have issues with other addictions in her life. The most worrisome of these at the moment is her gambling addiction.
Someone introduced her to an app on Facebook where you could play slot machines. At first, I thought this was fantastic because she was not losing money and satisfying her addiction.
Last year I found an email on her computer to the company that created this app. She said she accidentally pressed the max bet button and lost all the credits she had spent a ton of her money on. She also said this was her only release in life or something like that. Disgusted and confused I went to her Facebook to see payment history.
She had spent over $16,000 on this slot machine game, where I am pretty sure you have no chance of winning any real money. I was livid and confused. I was privy to her closing her retirement account with about $20k in it and I then knew where all the money had gone. At that time I chose not to tell anyone but kept an eye on the payments anytime I would come home.
The payments stopped for a while so I thought the problem had gone away without any pursuit; I was happy.
Then I was home for Thanksgiving and checked and she has spent $200 on credits this month.
I want her to stop but how do I help her when it is her own money? I also feel sleazy for finding out the way I did. | Mom has an addiction to gambling on a Facebook slot game. Has spent over $16k. I found out by snooping. What do I do? |
t3_412c7f | needadvice | Internship is way too advanced. | A couple of weeks ago I posted on here about whether or not I should do an internship that was offered to me ( link here ) because I felt like I was not experienced enough.
I took the advice and went. I have only been here a week and they expect me to set up this research mostly on my own (I had no idea what the research was even about) as well as write part of a research paper about it and also do a 10-15 minute presentation infront of the facility about what I have learned during my time here.
I am so inexperienced and I think this is all way too advanced or me. Although if I stay it will be good for me career wise and may lead to other opportunities as well as give me good connections to the industry I want to go into... | Internship is very advanced but will lead to great opportunities although I am VERY under experienced. Too many expectations put on me. Advice? |
t3_375u5v | relationships | My [21F] boyfriend [26M] might not be over his ex, and I don't know what to do. | So I've been spending the last couple of days helping my boyfriend move into his cousin's house. We've been officially dating for three months.
Some of the things I wrapped seemed pretty useless to me, so I asked if he had any sort of emotional attachment to them. He told me that some of those things his ex girlfriend had given to him. Like, one of the things was this cactus plant that he had kept for four years. He said it was like a pet that he couldn't get rid of and said that it still meant something to him.
I didn't really know how to react, so I acted cool about it and kept wrapping and didn't mention it again. I just wasn't sure how to approach it.
He's talked about this ex before, saying that since it was 'his first love' he would never be the same after her. I'm just not sure if this is healthy attachment at all since I've never had a guy tell me that before. I just don't want to be second place. I'm his first relationship after her, after 3 years of being single.
We were also talking about what we would do if we ever bumped into our exes and he said that he would probably freeze and freak out. Their relationship ended with him cheating on her, so I get that there might be some resentment and regret there and maybe a lot of unresolved feelings. I just don't think I'm equipped to deal with it properly. | My boyfriend still has some sort of emotional attachment to the things his ex gave him, not sure if that's healthy behavior or not. How do I approach this. |
t3_1gdaka | relationships | I(19M) have recently become very attracted to a close friend (19F) of four years. Help! | I posted this to /r/datingadvice last night but thought it might fit in here as well:
Seriously, I'm really desperate for some answers. I'll try and keep the background short and simple:
I met my friend our sophomore year of high school. We were instantly pretty close and had a few good mutual friends and hung out a good amount of the time. I had a short-lived crush on her when we first met but I had completely forgotten about it by the end of the first semester.
her junior and senior years, she had gone off to a boarding school on the other side of the country, and we only kept in touch minimally, maybe catching up with each other every few months.
The summer before I went off to college we hung out four or five times, and even though I spent the next year out of town we had started talking to each other nearly every day, usually just through texting. At this point she till very much felt like just a friend.
Since I came back into town at the end of the school year about a month ago we've been hanging out with each other and mutual friends two or three times a week and we still talk nearly every day. I slowly realized I'd begun crushing on her one night when we started cuddling up together watching movies. The next day we hung out, we spent the entire day alone cuddled up together, holding hands, playing with each others hair, etc. Real cutesy type stuff.
This attraction to her is really out of nowhere, but being this close with her feels really amazing and (perhaps I'm just projecting my own feelings here) it seems like she's at least a little attracted to me as well. How often do you spend the day holding your friends hand and cuddling, you know?
I really have no idea where to go from here, we've been good friends for so long what would happen If I were to suddenly say one day, "I think we should be more than friends"?
Also, I should add that I'm moving back to my hometown for at least the next school year, so I'm not trying to jump into a LDR or anything. | over the past few weeks I've developed a really intense crush on a close friend who I think might reciprocate my feelings. |
t3_1gpido | relationships | Me[18M] with my gf[18F] of 11months, i got kissed and necked spontaniously at a club on a boys road trip. What do i do? | So every summer, my highschool friends and i go on a month long road trip. This year we decided to go to chicago ( we're from toronto) and see what all the hype is about.
We got there and decided to go to a local hniversity pub for our frist night out. Before this- we drank lots and all of us were very high. So when we got there, like the boys we are- we ended up chatting a bunch of girls. During our night we made it clear that i was in a commited relationship ( fake call/text from girlfriend, made fun of me for not being allowed to hook up ect) so that none of them would get any mixed signals from me.
The night went smooth and we decided to dance with the girls for a while, all my of my friends successfully were hooking up with said girls so i just decided to have some fun myself and just dance amungst the crowd. Somehow, i ended up in the backside of club and i felt a tugging on my arm- i thought someone had fallen and needed help up so i resisted and remained dancing until what seemed like another arm pushed me. At this point, from what i remember i was being forcefully pinned against a wall and i was kissed by one and necked by the other. As soon as i collected what was happening i pushed them both off and walked toward the bar rails and hung out there till everyone was ready to go.
Its been a few days and i dont know what i should do. Should i tell my gurlfriend what happened? This'll crush her but i dont want to hide this as itll feel like im cheating and holding something against her. | went out of town for a boys trip. Went to alocal university bar- got kissed and necked by two girls- dont know whether totell girlfriend or keep it a secret |
t3_2wdkrr | relationships | Im 17 M, never been in love before, is this what I am experiencing? | I met this girl I really like around 5 months ago, we've gradually been getting closer and closer as the months have gone by. She understands my issues and I understand hers, which has bought us closer together. Recently, (although I have felt these feelings build up over quite a while now) I have noticed Im thinking about her a hell of a lot, thinking about the possibility of us getting together if the situation ever comes around. We seem to get on really well, whenever I am there she just makes me happy just by being around. Whenever the time gets closer when I get to see her at this volunteering position I do, I get happy just at the thought. I would like to mention that she is 20 though, I am 17 although will be 18 soon. I am extremely mature for my age group though, maybe this wont be an issue?
I love her energy, charisma, empathy and kindness for those around her. I keep thinking about us being together (which is a possibility as we do get on extremely well, but obviously until im sure the feeling is mutual, I couldnt possibly tell whether or not this is a realistic scenario).
Its a kind of a strange question I know, but having never experienced anything like this before Id like to know for sure! | Known a girl for around 5 months, been getting gradually closer and keep thinking about her a lot and I feel happy just by being around her, also very comfortable. I feel like I am in love, am I? |
t3_1sl4yk | relationships | Me [16/M] with my GF [15/F] 9 Months, Breakup that is killing me | Right now I go to a different school than my EX-GF. It was a great summer with her, great school year. We got to see each other at lest 5 times a week for over an hour each time. We met at each others houses, coffee shops, games, and of course at my Basket Ball games.
On the morning of a really big game for me she broke up with me out of the blue with a text during Pre-Cal reading
"hey this is Anna I'm sorry i can't do this from my own phone . I think we should break up because we never see each other and we have nothing in common I hope we can still be friends"
cliche right?
Were not even to the best part yet. I was pretty shaken up with what happened so I went on with my school day and went down to the gym to shoot hoops before the big game. The game is 10 min away and were out warming up. I look up at the stands and she is up there, supportive right , with another guy. At this point i can't even move. Right then and there i wanted to fall down and never move again.
We played the game, horribly, I couldn't focus.
She came up to me an hour after the game and explained everything to me. They had been dating for 3 months. | She broke up with me over text the morning of a huge Basketball game for me, then showed up with her BF [16/M] of 3 months |
t3_25l277 | relationships | [22F] I admired a girl who sat next to me all semester and I just found out she's gay, and might sort of like me. We've never had a conversation. Our final is tomorrow!!! Any hope? | I'm sort of closeted. I mean, no one ever asks or anything. If they did, I'd tell them. But you probably couldn't tell by looking at me.
Theres a girl who sits near me in one of my classes. She's sporty, rarely wears girls things, but she doesn't dress like a guy at all. She always wears makeup too. I've lusted after her in vain (I thought), didn't want to be a weirdo and just hit on her.
So I kept to myself. Our interactions have been limited, but pleasant. A couple days ago, a friend tells me that she is gay. I flip the fuck out because I let it slip past me, and I have no clue what to do.
I'm freaked out because tomorrow is our last day of class. And it's the final, no less. So there won't be any interactions. Today, I tried to look at her a lot, smiled, etc. She actually asked me if I was going to be coming tomorrow (we have a choice) to which I said yes and asked the same. She said yes.
So what do I do? I don't know if I'll see her again. Heck, I don't even know if she's actually gay. But we had some serious glances going on (haha *cries*). No time to talk before class because she always runs in at the last moment. Would it be weird if I just handed her my number? We haven't even had a full conversation. | Admired a girl for a whole semester. Never talked. Found out she might be gay. Class ends tomorrow. Any way to redeem myself? |
t3_39b5vd | tifu | TIFU by letting my girlfriend drive. | On our way back from a road trip out of state. It was a 10hr drive so 6 hours in she said she can drive for about next hour so i can take a nap and rest. We left 11pm to beat the Monday morning traffic keep in mind. I fall asleep and next thing you know we are at a rest stop and she said she had to use the bathroom. Rest stop doesn't open till 6 am and it is currently 3am. She said she will take a short nap and me being half asleep already knocked out. I wake up and see the clock read 3:35am really bright. At this moment i had a panic attack. I leaned over the turned the ignition and there became my worst fears, battery is dead. She forgot to turn off the car.
Call a tow truck, whats the big deal? Only certain tow trucks are allowed on certain highways. Had to call the local police station to which I got voicemail. No one at the rest stop is going to help strangers jump their car at this time and don't have time to waste. 2.5 hours later tow trucks shows up and jumps us and we get home at 3pm cause of the traffic. | Lets girlfriend drive car during road trip while i nap, she pulls over at rest stop to nap too, forgets to turn off car, battery died |
t3_39vpuh | legaladvice | Would my "incident journal" be admissable/useful in an actual custody hearing? | Florida divorce/custody questions.
To sum up a very long story, my ex-wife and I recently finalized our divorce. We submitted an agreement on child support and joint custody, but in my opinion she has always been a very poor, extremely neglectful and sometimes abusive parent. It was never bad enough for me to run away with the kids, but as a larger pattern it sucks and recent events have me feeling like it's going to keep getting worse. She currently has full custody of the kids as I'm active duty military in a deployable unit. The kids will end up being alone with her for at least a few years while I'm on these orders, and I feel like eventually it may very well reach a point where I no longer think she can safely or effectively parent on her own. I may then have to file for sole custody and challenge her in court.
Last year I came upon a reddit post here on /r/legaladvice of a woman with a similar situation. The advice given to her was to "document everything!" I took that advice to heart, and since last December I've kept a Word journal of all the incidents of neglect or abuse committed by my ex. It's currently 10 pages long, but that includes about 2 pages of establishing history of how neglectful she was as a parent and housekeeper during our decade of married life together.
The other 8 pages range in level of extremity from a CPS investigation of physical abuse and borderline beginning-stage hoarder home conditions, to run-of-the-mill entries about how she's lazy and neglectful that our 4 year old still isn't fully potty trained. Stuff like that.
So I took the advice and am documenting everything, my questions are.........how serious will a judge take this journal? How much will it weigh on their decision? What is the process for them to review it? If I name other parties as witnesses to these stories in the journal, will they ask for statements from each of those people to confirm the incidents?
Any insight to this process would be much appreciated. I have no idea what a custody battle really looks like. | My ex is a shitty parent so I've been "documenting everything" like you guys always say, but how much will it help? |
t3_26hjk9 | relationships | I [22 M] just realized I've been leading my girlfriend [21 F] of 4 months on. I need to break up with her, but don't know how or when | My girlfriend and I both just graduated from college, and she'll be in Seattle for grad school next year, and I'll be in Washington, DC. I'm leaving our college town in 5 days. We've told each other that we want to try a long distance relationship, but I recently came to the realization that this relationship has little hope of succeeding.
The problem is: I've unintentionally been leading her on. I do truly love her, and in the heat of the moment I've even told her that I want to marry her. I was even planning on inviting her to my parent's house (5 hours away), so that they could meet. We've talked about how we'd try to see each other once a month despite the distance. She's thoroughly convinced that I want to try the long-distance thing, when I have serious doubts about it.
So as I see it, I have three options:
1) Break up with her in the coming 5 days. This may truly shock her, since things are actually going quite well.
2) Break up with her after we're apart. Seems a bit cowardly on my part, but may be less dramatic/easier to stomach for her.
3) Stay with her. We're both about to go through a bunch of changes, and maybe being that support system for each other will show us that we are in fact right for each other. Seems like a long-shot, but I wouldn't want to discount it.
I really care about her very deeply, and want to do what's best for both of us. I really dread hurting her, but I fear I may be prolonging the inevitable by breaking up with her later rather than sooner.
Please give me some advice or insight as to what I should do! This is my first real relationship so I'm not too familiar with this sort of thing. | I've been unintentionally leading my girlfriend on, and just realized I need to break up with her, but want to do it as kindly as possible. |
t3_2bjkz7 | relationships | Advice on me [26, M] making transition to face to face interaction with [25, F] I've been talking to (text/phone) for last month and a half | I've known this girl since college, but we were both in committed relationships at the time and were only friends. Now that we're both settled into careers and are at similar points in our lives, we've started talking more and things are definitely moving in a positive direction. We talk on the phone (or skype) for approximately an hour or two a day, texting in between, and are both on the same page as far as what we're looking to get out of the relationship.
We live a few hundred miles away from each other, and at this point are committed to making the distance work. We've been pretty upfront about our feelings the entire time, which has been really helpful in eliminating the "playing the game" with each other.
This weekend will be the first time we spend time in person together since our relationship has started to blossom, and I'm starting to develop significant anxiety over the transition. I've always considered texting to talking on the phone to be a big transition, but phone to face to face has always seemed much more natural. I feel like my anxiety is an unreasonable reaction to the weekend that I should be really excited for.
I'm really just looking for advice from anyone who's made that transition from talking on the phone to being in person before, and things to keep in mind so that we both stay on the same page. | Long distance relationship, will be seeing her for the first time since beginning the relationship this weekend. Advice to ease my anxiety?? |
t3_3pegn9 | relationships | Me [27F] with my husband [27M] and best friend [24], they constantly fight and she has decided to cut us out of her life... | My husband JP and my best friend Grendel are coworkers. They both love me but hate each other, I am always in the middle. Husband does not care because he has tons of girl-friends (he is extremely smart/geeky and doesn't enjoy the company of guys, all the female friends I have are because of him)
When I started dating my husband, he introduced me to Grendel, she didn't like me at the beginning, not because she had feelings for my husband, thats the reaction I always get from girls and I'm used to it. But the longer the time people spend with me the more they start to like my personality.
We became really good friend, to the point that when I got pregnant, she threw me a baby shower and became my son's godmother.
Now the problems is, my husband likes to "play rough" and can be a jerk to his friends or ignore them when he feels they're being annoying, Grendel is a little bit sassy and when she is on her period she can be scary and a little bit mean, specifically to my husband.
I guess their fights have been getting out of hand, because 2 days ago I made plans with Grendel and later that day she cancelled them and told me that JP it's just impossible to deal with, and that she doesn't want to have anything to do with him (including me and my son).
I love them both (obviously I love my husband more) and I want them to get along. But my husband doesn't care, because he has no problem making girl-friends, he tells me that we have enough girl-friends, but to be honest those are his friends, if he is not present, I can feel some disdain coming from them.
How can I make them get along if they don't care for each other?
Just to clarify, they don't have romantic feelings towards each other. She is definitely not his type body/personality wise, and even if she was, he will never go for anyone else. | SO and best friend work in the same building, they constantly fight. Best friend has decided to cut us out of her life but SO doesn't give a sh't. I'm heartbroken. |
t3_4eipxm | personalfinance | Denied at Sofi, Lending Club, Prosper. Waiting to apply for earnest/hear from first republic. What else can I do?! | Hi All,
Please don't bash me I already know I dun goofed and want to fix my debt.
I have excellent credit (**794**) but high debt to income ratio.
* 100k in private student loans with rates varying from 8-14% (hoping to refinance these)
* 40k in federal, with 3-7% interest (I am not too worried about these)
Income last year was **~50k**. I was able to negotiate for higher pay this year as a contractor (what I thought would be 80k), but company decided to cut my hours–so pay this year is uncertain and may still be just at 50k... working on upping my salary.
*As stated,
denied at Sofi,Lending Club, Propser.
Waiting before I try Earnest, and waiting to hear back from First republic.*
I realize trying to refinance all my private loans is now not as realistic and need to concentrate on maybe just refinancing the highest one (13%). But I have been denied on all these apps. I even tried asking for just part of the balance (ex 30k only) | I pay my loans on time and everything is in good standing when I check my credit report; is there anything else I can do to lower interest? |
t3_14iqb9 | relationships | I [20M] can't stop thinking about a friend of mine [21F] romantically while in a yearlong, healthy relationship [21F] | I got into a relationship last December with an amazing girl, and throughout the year there have been misunderstandings and we have always successfully gone through them. Yes, sometimes one of us is unrealistic, but that doesn't end up harming us in any way. She's a bit of a princess, but I enjoy being able to make her happy. Overall, I love being in this relationship as it energizes me every day.
Lately, my girlfriend went to study abroad in Asia, and I've been thinking more romantic thoughts about a girl that I knew from high school but has since moved across the country for school. My gf and I have been able to Skype every so often, but thanks to the time difference it's either when I wake or when I sleep. On the other hand, my friend and I can Skype much more often, being in similar timezones. Sometimes, the friend starts the session with nothing but underwear on, to which I tell her to put clothes on.
Me and the friend tried dating before, so I know there's at least some of those thoughts. She's in ROTC, studying to be a nurse, has a little bullshit attitude, and is overall tougher than my gf. My gf is studying Psych, Human Development, and wants to be a teacher. She beats around the bush a bit, and does not confront problems. However, she genuinely cares about so many people, it makes me happy to be near her.
I get to see my girlfriend every day when I go to school (and when she's not on the other side of the world), and I get to see my friend once a year.
There's nowhere I want to go with this info, except to maybe talk to somebody about it and get it out there. I'm not unhappy, but I feel guilty about having these thoughts, and shameful that I constantly have more than one girl that I think of romantically. | Romantic thoughts about both tough ROTC friend and princess girlfriend. Friend currently across the country, girlfriend currently in Asia. Have dating history with friend. |
t3_3efq2f | relationships | Me (26M) going out with another girl after breakup | Hello everyone. It's been about two weeks since my GF broke up with me. I'm still very much in love with her but we haven't talked ever since. I don't know what will happen in the future, so I'm trying not to build up any hopes. In the meantime, I met this girl online and she looks very interested in me. She wants to go out today and I said I would, but I'm having second thoughts. I think I won't be fair to her and won't be what she expects me to be. Should I give it a chance or cancel the date? If so, how can I cancel it in a friendly manner? Thanks! | GF broke up with me now I don't know if I should go out with another girl. I may not be what she expects. |
t3_18cz99 | relationships | My gf (18f) cheated on me while on vacation when she was drunk. I'm 21m | My girlfriend of 4 months who I have really fallen for moved to AZ from NJ to stay with her grandparents and we started dating in September she went back to NJ for the holidays and came back on Jan. 12 and just told me yesterday that she had kissed someone while drunk at a party. She feels like shit and keeps telling me how bad she feels and how much she loves me and is scared to lose me. I know shr just made out with someone and said she pretty much stopped right away. But I don't know what to do now or if I should even trust her anymore. I need advise. | GF made out with a guy while she was drunk at a party while on vacation. I don't know how to handle it and don't know what I should do. Especially since she waited a month to tell me. |
t3_3j0n9j | relationships | Me [24 M] with my friend [23 F] of 2 years, recently hooked up a few times and not sure what to do next. | Situation is relatively straightforward I think: I've been friends with this girl for a little over 2 years. I've always been open to dating her but didn't think she ever felt the same way. A couple months ago however I broke up with my girlfriend, and shortly afterwards me and this friend got drunk and hooked up a few times.
In total it's happened three times so far, with the most recent being this past weekend. The only time we talked about it was after the first time it happened, and she basically said she wasn't sure about the idea of being with anyone at that point.
So I'm confused basically, given that it happened twice after she said that. And also what makes it confusing is that things felt different after this most recent time it happened. The first two times it was awkward the morning after and we didn't mention the night before or do anything sexual. This most recent time however we were both sober the morning after and still did things, so I can't just chalk it up to her being drunk like I could for the first two times.
So yeah I need advice on what to do. I figure we should talk about it but I'm not sure exactly how to start the conversation or what to say. Help is appreciated. | Recently hooked up three times with my friend of 2 years despite her saying she wasn't sure about being involved with anybody. Need advice on what to do. |
t3_39xe6c | relationships | Me [24F] with my BF[32M] of 3 months, and his relationship with his best friend [25F] | Hi! I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 months, and he recently introduced me to his best friend, a 25-year-old girl. When I met her, I realized she was a lot like me in many ways. I asked him why he never dated her, and he said it was because until recently she has been in a relationship.
Additionally, he said he would "not be uncomfortable" if we were to have a threesome together. Naturally, I don't think that is a good idea at all. He tells her about everything that happens in our relationship, and conversely, when we discuss her, it's all about what's going on with her romantically (apparently not much). Also, he has thrown out random personal facts about her, such as the fact that she can "squirt."
I'm a little uncomfortable about their whole relationship and weirded out by the fact that he, a 32 year old man, considers this 25 year old girl his best friend even though they haven't known each other for very long (they met probably a month before him and I started seeing each other). What's more, it seems she knew who he was before befriending him (he is a rather well-known internet celebrity) and I'm concerned about her motives in general. | I can't really understand the nature of my BF's relationship with his best friend. Should I be concerned? Thank you. |
t3_hlun7 | relationships | Probably going (very) long distance (UK to Australia) from the end of next month - advice and thoughts please? | Hi all,
Firstly, I'm a 25year old Brit and my boyfriend is a 26 year old Aussie. We have been together 2 1/2 years now and he's someone I have no doubts about wanting to spend the rest of my life with and I don't think he has any doubts about me.
We met while both teaching English in Japan and after we left he moved to London on a two year working holiday visa to be with me. I was lucky with the job hunting and got on a 3 year graduate scheme to train to be an accountant and tax advisor with a very big international company. He on the other hand was less lucky with jobs, partly due to his visa, partly due to the recession and partly due to his bad uni grades.
Now he's probably going to be moving back to Australia at the start of July because of his poor luck with job hunting here and I'll have to stay here for another 2 years to get my qualifications. He's thinking of doing a one year course to boost his uni grades and he should have better luck job hunting there. As a non-EU citizen the fees for him to study in the UK would be huge so studying here isn't an option.
After all the bad luck he's had job hunting here I can't see him moving back to the UK after the course. I intend to move to Australia after I qualify but until then I wouldn't be able to get a proper job (on a working holiday visa in Australia the work you can get is restricted and you can only be with one employer for 3 months). And even if visas weren't an issue, this qualification is my best shot at having a career and I enjoy the work so far.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make long distance work? The 9 hour time difference isn't going to be fun. How can you avoid growing apart? | The man I love is moving back to Australia because he can't find a job in the UK but I'm stuck here because of my own job for the next two years. Any tips on how to make long distance work? |
t3_47hiep | relationships | My [27 M] GF [27 F] is living free in an apartment paid by her Ex while schooling | My girlfriend is going to school in a different state for 2 years. We started talking about 3 months prior to her moving away. Her ex at the time decided he wanted to pay for her apartment because she won't be working. She agreed because, free rent. I understand the pros that come with this, but I have a sick feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I'm not really jealous, however I do want to mention both me and her have Exs we are still on good terms with. She makes it known I cannot talk or hang out with my ex even in group settings. However, I know she talks to her ex at least monthly. Is there a solution to this? Am I overreacting? | My [27 M] GF [27 F] is living free in an apartment paid by her Ex while schooling. I don't like it. Am I overreacting? |
t3_3e2xag | relationships | Long-distance tips for [32M USA]+[29F Mexico]? Is it worth it? | First time poster here, throwaway account (logtime redditor), but will check back in. Pardon the tongue-in-cheek rude username, but I was surprised it wasn't taken and it made me giggle.
So, back in jan/feb of this year, I met a girl visiting Dallas on a business trip from Mexico City. Met accidentally, but ended up hanging out all night, giving them an impromptu tour of the city, and talked over drinks until 2am. Kept in (friendly) touch over FB for the next few months, and eventually got invited down to return the tour favor. Booked a trip without any expectations other than a nice vacation with a friend, ended up turning into a *really* good and quickly romantic few days.
Of course at the end, we both wanted to know what the situation was going to be from this point out. We quickly discussed options - was it just a convenient fun fling, or do we really like each other? I'm not into flings and I genuinely like her; she's honestly one of the nicest people I've ever met (and she seems to feel the same about me).
Luckily, she loves to travel (and often does for work, so she gets miles and decent vacation time). I get a fair amount of vacation time, and Mexico is less than a 2hr flight for me. We've both had long distance relationships before, but more of a 2-3 hour drive than an International flight. We decided to date long distance, and be travel-buddies as often as possible, while getting to know each other more.
The biggest question which I know all Long Distance relationships eventually have to face, is going to be - where does it end up? Especially in this case, when one of us moving would mean a serious lifestyle change, and a major trip to see their family afterward.
Has anyone here got any tips for international dating? Trust issues aside (both of us seem pretty OK on that), what else helps/hurts? What's the easiest way to work out a compromise if we end up wanting to actually be together? | Met a girl from Mexico and ended up liking her more than I expected, looking to make an international long distance as successful as possible. |
t3_54y8sb | tifu | TIFU by crashing a stopped car while driving in reverse. | I have this close friend who invited me over to her daughter's first birthday party, and she forgot to buy candles for the cake. I mentioned that i had a car and i could go and buy the candles, so she asked me to take her and one of her cousins to the supermarket. The three of us got into the car and i started driving. I arrived to an intersection, and just before turning right i decided it was dangerous because comming cars didn't seem to be far enough for me to go safely. I stopped, and i though i was actually far enough into the street that some car could hit me if i stayed there. So i shifted the gear into reverse and pressed the gas to go back just a little. Half second later, the car stopped and i heard the sound of the collision with another car that was behind me and i hadn't seen before. I immediatle imagined the worst: Broken necks, destroyed car hoods and the rest of the day trying to get money to par for the reparation, and felt extremely embarassed of placing my friend and her cousin in such a situation. Fortunately, neither my car, the car behind me nor anyone suffered any damage (God bless the bumpers!) and the lady driving the other car wasn't actually angry. At the end, we arrived to the supermarket, got the candles and returned to the party without further incident. | I stopped at an intersection and decided to drive back just a little, but i crashed because i didn't notice the car behind me. There were no injuried people nor destroyed cars. |
t3_kqp9j | AskReddit | What's the worst you've been friend-zoned? | Mine: An upperclassman that I knew since my first year in college always took really good care of me and he was always like a big brother to me. One day, I decide to go to an apartment party with a friend. I had been texting the upperclassman the entire day about random stuff and my friend teases me about it, saying maybe there's a thing between us. I dismiss it, because he's always been a big brother to me. Then, at this party, the police come and I get scared since I was still underage at that point. I text the upperclassman and he gets really worried about me, saying that he'll come over and drive me home. Now keep in mind, this was about 4am, and I was all the way across town. At this point, all the stuff my friend had been saying gets to me, and I think... Could there really be more to this than what I've been thinking?
Silly me gets my hopes up and after I get home, I thank him and all. His reply? "No problem... You're my little sis after all." | I kinda started to have feelings for a guy who was like my big bro, but it turns out that he thought I was like a little sister too. |
t3_27f4av | relationships | I (28F) think the guy I'm dating (27M) is losing interest. About 2 months. | So I met this guy about two months ago and we hit it off really well in the beginning. He was texting me off and on most of the day (every day) and we would hang out about 3 or 4 times a week. Sometimes it would be his suggestion and other times mine. I'm starting to have pretty serious feelings for this guy, but the conversation has become a little less frequent (still daily) and we spend less time together now too. We've been mostly hanging at my house and the "going out on dates" has died down significantly over the past couple of weeks. I feel like I have to initiate our meeting up every time. Sometimes he still says or does things that make me think he likes me but I am not sure we are on the same page. I want to have a conversation about it with him without seeming clingy or pushy, but I'm not sure how to broach the topic. Our conversations are always casual and light but it is important to me to have serious conversations too. So how do I have this talk with him without making things uncomfortable between us and coming across as insecure or accusatory? | I need to talk to the guy I've been seeing to find out if we feel the same way but don't know how to start the convo. |
t3_53rnkg | relationships | Me [21f] with my bf[22m] of one year I can't decide if I should end it | My boyfriend and I have been together for one year and for some reason I can't stop thinking about breaking up with him. We hardly fight, there are no red flags, we make each other laugh, the sex is great, and we enjoy spending time together. He pushes me to be a better person and I do the same for him. I love his friends and family and he loves mine.
The problem? I struggle with depression, anxiety, and possibly bipolar disorder. I am in therapy but I don't want to get on medication unless I absolutely have to. I am scared that these thoughts are a matter of my condition rather than something real I should be listening to. At the same time I don't trust myself to be honest if I'm not happy. I'm scared that my anxiety is just looking for something to latch onto, but I'm also scared that it isn't and that there's really something wrong. But I honestly can't think of anything wrong. I guess I feel guilty that he is so stable and good to me when I'm such a mess. I feel more comfortable when my life is chaotic and he makes me feel safe. Sometimes I love him more than anything, sometimes I just want to lock myself in a room and sleep and be alone forever.
How do I stop thinking about this? Should I end my relationship? Should I think about going on medication? | my relationship is great, but I'm worried that my anxiety and depression are making me want to end it or keeping me from seeing that I should end it |
t3_298i48 | self | What to do about the guy that no one wants around? | **Backstory:** Basic info, we're all 21-24 year old students / working class adults. There is a guy that my roommate began hanging around with whom we shall call Dan. Dan seemed like an okay guy to begin with, but it quickly became apparent that not only is he PAINFULLY socially unaware and awkward, he thinks that he is many levels more intelligent and appealing then he actually is, and is desperate to get a girlfriend. A dangerous combination. Often when you are hanging out with him he will one-up you with every sentence, cut off other's conversations to talk about something completely unrelated, choose to be contrary very obviously just to be "different and unique" (think of him as the ultimate "hipster") from the rest of us, and doesn't understand basic social cues. It's gotten to the point where we've stopped inviting him to things, or voluntarily hanging around with him but he continually will check me and my roommates (there's 3 of us in total) facebooks, see what we are doing and just SHOW UP. If he also hears we're doing something he's often texted us and asked to come. Sometimes we don't even know how he finds out. It's super weird and awkward.
**Current problem:** I am having a party this coming week to celebrate my country's national holiday. Dan heard about this party via facebook apparently (he WAS NOT invited via the guest list), and when my roommate bumped into him said "I'll see you at the party". I'm having a large group of friends (specifically female friends) over to this party whom don't enjoy his company, and often find him creepy or inappropriate.
**Question:** What do we do? Do I just bite the bullet and tell Dan he's not invited? Do we be nice and let Dan come, but if his behavior becomes inappropriate ask him to leave? And considering that none of us have any real investment in Dan anymore, do we try and help him with his behavior? I do feel REALLY bad for the guy, he obviously didn't have friends that would've helped him understand the whole social process, but at the same time it's often an embarrassment to have him around. | This super creepy / socially inappropriate "friend" keeps showing up where we are, has invited himself to our party without asking. What do we do? |
t3_2jq87b | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 3 months, controlling mother and parents | So my girlfriend of a few months (we've been on again off again for the last year due to the below problem) has a really overcontrolling mother and family in general. We are both at college, but she lives at home while I live on my own. Her family doesn't know we are dating. Her mother forces her to work in her nail salon every weekend for essentially no pay, plus my girlfriend has another job. She yells at her for going out (though she has a 4.0 GPA), for being fat (she isn't), for being a bad daughter, dissapointment to the family, etc.
Honestly, it bugs me to no end. I usually try not think about it, but recently my girlfriend mentioned that she can't keep staying the night. She usually would stay over one night a week, or maybe one night every week and a bit. She said she has to do this to appease her mother who hates that she spends the night out of the house (for reference, I have a female housemate who my girlfriend says she is staying with instead of me).
I feel selfish for this bugging me so much that she won't be staying the night really anymore (she's says not really until December or next year). Am I being too selfish? Is this really a big problem in our relationship? Should it be? Should this make me want to breakup with her? | Girlfriend is appeasing her abuse (emotionally) mom and parents by not spending the night at my house. This really bugs me. Makes me kind a want to break up with her. |
t3_3sar62 | relationships | Me [34F] with my brother [37M] and his GF of 10 years (33F). Found out he cheated but no one is telling GF. | Cast:
Tony - my brother (37M)
Mary - my brother's girlfriend (33F)
Rosa - woman my brother is cheating on Mary with (??F... old enough to have a 20-year-old son)
Barry - son of Tony and Mary (5M)
Mom - 74F
Dad - 79M
Tony has been complaining about Mary, his girlfriend of 10 years, for several years now, saying that he doesn't love her anymore and that she is a terrible housekeeper, etc. However, they have a 5-year-old son, Barry, that my parents have watched for free since the time he was born. They are afraid that if they encourage Tony to leave Mary, they will no longer have a relationship with Barry, who they adore.
Mom told me last week that for over a year Tony has been cheating on Mary with Rosa for over a year. He came over to pick up Barry and was sad that Rosa had apparently broken up with him and was determined to get her back. Mary does not know.
Tony has been borrowing money from me, my parents (who live on Social Security) and other family members. Supposedly for his bills (he's already filed for bankruptcy once in his life and had a house foreclosed on), so we tried to help. Well, he's apparently been paying Rosa's bills as well as giving her rides (literal and metaphorical). He also learned to speak Spanish because Rosa does not speak English. He has taken Barry over to Rosa's multiple times unbeknownst to Mary.
Mary does not know that Tony has been cheating on her. My parents told me not to say anything, but I'm pretty sure that Tony will not tell her unless he gets caught because that is just the kind of guy he is.
What would you do, reddit? I am staying out of it, but it's going to be really difficult if I find myself around Tony or Mary (specifically at Thanksgiving). It is none of my business, but goddamn. | Brother is cheating on his girlfriend. Parents know but won't tell his girlfriend because they are afraid of losing relationship with young grandson. |
t3_2ggp19 | dogs | HELP! My 35lb mix ate a chicken bone :( | She somehow managed to get a rotisserie leg out of my trash (up on the counter so she COULDN'T get it) and snatched the leg before I could do anything. She broke it at least in half because I tried unsuccessfully to get the second half out of her mouth.
I looked online and it said to feed bread to cushion the stomach/intestines, but I'm really worried. She's acting fine right now and didn't choke on the pieces when they were going down, just wondering if anyone has advice or anything because I'm really worried.
I called the vet and they said not to worry unless she started acting weird but I'm still concerned. | Dog ate chicken bone, vet said not to worry...yet... any advice or personal experience? Help! :'( |
t3_is4m8 | relationship_advice | New girl I'm seeing wants to "take things slow". Really slow. A bit confused. | Seeing a great girl from okcupid, we've had 3 dates now. I kissed her at the end of the second date. At the third date (last night), we had dinner and walked around, and after getting to talking about how things were going she mentioned she likes to really get to know a guy and take things slow. I said of course, I didn't want to pressure her to do anything, I'm fine with that. But then while walking I tried to hold her hand and she stopped me and said that it was too much. It kind of threw me off. Is holding hands this big of a deal by the 3rd date? I asked about it because it surprised me, and she just said it was moving too fast, so I capitulated. Finally at the end of the date, we hug, I ask if a goodnight kiss is also moving too fast and she says yes. She apologized and said the kiss at the end of our 2nd date caught her by surprise (she didn't raise any complaints then!).
Anyway, I think she does like me, and I like her well enough that I'm going to give her a shot for a while, but I'm not sure how long I can wait without progressing things. It's uncharted territory for me, with the last girl I was with we were making out by the 3rd date. It's not all about physical stuff of course, but that's still important to me in a relationship. Anyone have any advice? Why might she be like this? Should I keep trying to initiate more physical contact and wait for her to object, or should I be waiting for her to let me know she's ready? | Holding hands on the 3rd date was too fast for her. The level of physical intimacy regressed from 2nd to 3rd dates. Very confused. |
t3_35karg | relationships | I [17/M] am in a relationship [16/F] but I am missing a feeling I want from her. | So I recently started a relationship with a girl from school. We don't meet that often with how busy we are, but we try to talk every morning and text every week.
I love her a lot, and before all of this, we were great friends, but more recently, I've discovered a feeling that I've been missing from her.
I am bisexual, and I had a crush on a guy in the past, before I ever dated my current SO. He gave me a feeling of protection that I loved. It was as if I could let go of whoever I was and feel safe around him. I seriously wanted this feeling, a feeling I can give to my current SO, because I always live in constant fear about things I rather not mention. With that guy, he gave me a sense of love, security, and protection that I never really got with anyone, the same feeling a guy gives to a girl in many relationships. I have always wanted this feeling, really.
While I love her and love being around my current SO, I just feel like I'm missing that from her. Sometimes, I get that feeling, but it ain't enough. Especially with how busy we have been, we haven't had time to do stuff. I'd love to text her all day, but it just isn't possible. Its a feeling I really need, especially with all that has happened in the most recent months. Anyone have any advice? | I want the same sense of security and protection many guys give to girls, but I don't know how to get it from my SO. |
t3_1gtyzj | dating_advice | Can someone please help me interpret this conversation? | I'm 30(f) and he's 32(m). I slept with this guy two days ago, here's the [backstory] and he agreed to call the next day but didn't. Because we were friends before and I was worried about weirdness and also if he was still wanting to do it again, I texted. I don't know if his ex wife has access to his phone or what (he did mention her knowing who he calls and texts when we were out), and he was being careful or he was giving me a brush off. Anyone care to help interpret?
I Just said, what's up.... and it took him a long time to respond. so I was just gonna forget it, then he texted back... here's our conversation pretty much...
**him**: sorry going through some crap with HIS EX, how you been?
**me**: same crap different day, sorry things are still rough, Just was gonna tell you that MY EX knows I talked to you on the phone about my side of things, and to see how life was treating you.
**him**: oh, he was okay with that?
**me**: That we talked on the phone? Yep, lol, he said he hadn't really talked to anyone and no one had been by and I called him on it. I didn't tell him you said anything except that you had been by his place. Today the sound of his voice irritates me because he's still lying over stupid stuff.
**him**: lol, he's a douche.
**me**: I kind of wanted to make sure we were still cool too.
**him**: Yep, just because yall are having issues don't mean I hate u.
**me**: Cool :)
**Him**: :)
**me**: I just hate it when friendships get screwed up over crap like that.
**him**: yeah I know what you mean
**me**: good. ttyl?
**him**: yep, peace out chick.
I have no idea how to read into that. at all. weirdness right? | I slept with him, he didn't call after showing much interest in doing so, but he's in the middle of a messy divorce, so I don't know how to interpret this conversation. |
t3_331a9x | relationships | (Long Distance) Me [22/F] with my BF [24 /M] of 5 Months, He needs space and I don't know how to go about it. | First time poster
My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship since the beginning for 5 months now. We have a 8 hour difference and he has a very demanding job that also takes up his time on the weekend. for a few weeks now, I have noticed that he has stopped replying to me. He reads them but doesn't text back. Today I finally got out of him, that I'm just texting him too much and that he needs space. I had previously asked him multiple times if he is okay with our texting and he never complained. We rarely skype/ talk on the phone. It's not like I get to see him occasionally either because we live on different continents .We do have a date where we are going to meet but it's still far away. At the moment texting is all we have.
This is my second Relationship but it is my first serious one. I admit that I'm needy, I try to not lean too much on the relationship, Im actively going to the gym and trying to do other things with my life but it is difficult because I have no family here and my circle of friends is small. I don't think he is cheating, because he is a very serious person and he knows what he wants for his futur. This may sound harsh but if he thought he was wasting his time he would break it up immediately (& I trust him of course).
He does have difficulty communicating his feelings. Since it took so long for him to tell me, the situation is strained. I would ask him what he means exactly but I don't think it's wise to text him now. I told him that I'm going to give him space but I honestly don't know how. Should I go no contact until he gets back to me? If we pick up messaging again, what would be an apropriate number of texts/week and the lenght? I would also like to get some insight on the space thing, I don't understand it because I would never get tired of talking to him.
Thank you for any advice!
I apologize for my bad grammar and the formatting. | too many Text Messages Have driven My Boyfriend Away. He needs space now and I need advice on how to handle the situation. |
t3_4lkxuo | relationships | Me [20M] and my girlfriend [17F] of 10 months (LDR) just broke up and I'm very very very very sad and wants to move on. | Me and my girlfriend met online and ever since, we are constantly using facebook and skype to communicate and I thought that we can make it through before we can see each other this year.. We just broke up and I really think that it's the best for us because we can't really understand each other. We can compromise but thing is, I got my issues and so is she.
I just want to move on right now and I don't know how to do it. I think of her every time, remember the way she laughs, her voice, all of it... and I am holding myself from crying...
I gave everything to her and made her feel very important, there wasn't even a time that I ignored her and made her feel unwanted or nothing just like she did to me.
I thought that when we got together again, we fixed our issues when we first got in our relationship... but it weren't fixed.... :(
I've posted here on this sub months ago and people told me to cut her off but I just simply cannot... and when we tried it again, I thought that we can work it out but we didn't...
I want her to be happy but It's better if she's happy with me :( but I guess it won't happen anymore...
What can I do to move on? What are things that can make me forget her? :( | I want to move on after a breakup with a girl that I really love. I want to be happy after what happened :(( I need some advices on what to do |
t3_1aso8j | BreakUps | I [21M] want my ex gf [19F] back. Wat do? | Had a relationship with this girl for 8 months. A shitstorm happened and we decided to break up, but we do still have feelings for each other.
I've been direct and have asked her to be in a relationship with me again, but she is stubborn because she has a "rule": Never trying again after she has broken up. Also, she doesn't feel the thrill she felt at the beginning of the relationship.
I want to seduce her and see if we can do things right this time.
Problem is she's either playing hard or genuinely not interested, because she doesn't behave like she usually does when she's around me, but not in a good way. She becomes all serious and doesn't even smile to me, as if treating me in a mean way will make my interest go away (maybe i'm reading too much into that? all I can tell is that it's not even the way she greets friends)
Wanted to take her out on a date yesterday, she had something more important to do (she had already compromised and didn't remember when i asked her out).
Today we're going to see each other at a rock show (not as in a date but as in i'm sure i'll see her there). Should I just be cold and greet her and ignore her? Open up if she is friendly? Look for her and be enthusiastic about being there together?
I want something effective, whatever it takes.
Ty in advance for the advice | I want my ex gf to be interested in me again. Should I play it cool and wait till she comes to me or should I take the initiative (have being rejected by her recently)? |
t3_1misr4 | relationships | Me[23/F] with my SO [29/M] of 3 1/2 yrs, not sure if relationship is in a dead end. | I'm 23, and I've been with my man for about 3 and a half years, and it's... Well, it's not bad but it's not great. We've living together for just over 2 years. We've been having issues (domestic 'house keeping' stuff, scheduling, and not enough sex) for the past year or so, and it's getting exhausting. I feel like I'm young enough that I shouldn't be having these sorts of issues. It's not that I don't love him, but the passion has been dying, if not already dead(which I think is pretty normal) and I feel like we're almost stuck in routine.
We've had the breakup conversation once before, but both agreed to stick it out and give it another try, but that was almost 6 months ago and I feel like nothing has changed. When we're together, it's fine. We have fun. I'm not unhappy, but I'm not happy. It's more like having a roommate at this point. I'm also becoming increasingly attracted to other men, including a friend who is significantly older. I feel like I'm emotionally cheating on my boyfriend, and that seems unfair to him.
I also feel like I don't even want to be settling down right now, but I somehow ended up in a position where I've already settled in.
I guess what I'm asking is, how can I tell if my relationship is in a dead end and I'm not just acting on a stupid crush? | My SO is basically a roommate that I bicker with and very, very occasionally have sex with. Is it worth trying to reignite our flame, or should I leave him and just be single. |
t3_x0tn1 | AskReddit | My daughters mom has gone into bitch-mode. What can I expect from going to court over our child? | She's 8-months old. I'm a good father, she's a good mother. However recently she's been acting a little crazy, and quite frankly I'm a little worried about her mental state.
Since day 1 I have paid an agreed-upon amount for child support, twice a month. I've never missed a payment, and there have never been any court or legal stuff involved. We've been good friends throughout this whole process, but for some reason things are starting to change.
We take turns watching our daughter every 2 nights. I work full-time and she goes to college. During the day, a family member helps but we will be starting daycare soon.
Lately she's been very aggressive towards me about not watching our daughter on 'her' nights when I don't have plans, because she wants to go out with friends. When I say aggressive, I mean cursing, insulting, blaming, the works. Apparently I've ruined her life or something.
My main concern here is, she has recently threatened to take me to court over our daughter, and even though I have done nothing wrong, I'm nervous about it. I'm currently paying $300 a month and watching our daughter every 2 nights. When daycare starts, I'm expected to pay the full 100% simply because she doesn't want to work, and is using her income to get government assistance, resulting in cheaper daycare. | Daughter's mom is threatening to take me to court because she wants more money out of me and is a bitch. What can I expect/do? |
t3_4p0a5s | relationship_advice | [24/m]Trouble communicating with girlfriend [21/f], becomes defensive and/or infuriated | everytime i try to talk to my girlfriend about something that is bothering me, she becomes pissed and starts a big argument about why im wrong and just being sensitive.
our latest argument started when i just wanted her to be a little more affectionate and attentive to me. i told her sometimes it feels like she doesnt really care and i would like if she might try to be more considerate of me. She replied with something close to "i cant help the way you take things, its not my fault, you just need to change" and this is a common response i will get to almost anything i have a problem with. I dont like how much shes on social media? well thats my fault and im a hyprocrit cuz i was on social media last week.. I dont like how shes always an hour late? im too sensitive and plans can change. you get the picture. nothing is wrong with her and im just a mess of a person in her eyes.
Im confident that sometimes, if not every time, i do have some grounds for complaints and that they should be addressed. but lately i just dont feel like my opinion is of any concern to her and it really takes a toll on me, not feeling important to my S.O. and not feeling like she really cares if im around. she will also consistently just threaten to break up with me if the argument continues and i hold my ground. "i have my limit and you push my buttons" she SCREAMS. im sure im not 100% innocent though. i just want to know is there a way i can approach situations with a defensive person to where i can make some improvement in my relationship? How do i handle someone who wont accept fault in any way? | girlfriend never admits fault and always blames the issues i have with her on me being too sensitive or being too critical. how do i communicate with a defensive person? |
t3_3cqat1 | relationships | Practical people, help me out! I [28 f] want to move in with my boyfriend [28 m] of 3 years, but his rent is such a steal it seems silly to leave. | I'm in a great relationship, woo! I know from experience this is hard to come by, and my boyfriend and I have been lucky enough to sustain this special bond for three years.
We both live downtown in NYC. I would love to move in together, as we already spend most nights together and I'm tired of living like a backpacker. His rent is a steal; he moved in to an old couple's extra apartment (he found them on craigslist, lucky bastard) with one friend a few years ago, and despite rent skyrocketing everywhere, his has stayed the same low price. He's still paying off student loans, so this low rent has been especially helpful. He wants to stay for as long as he possibly can to pay off these debts, which I get.
My rent on the other hand is outrageous despite my 5 roommates. It's so bad I'm considering relocating outside the city in order to not break even every month. I have to admit I'm a bit selfish because another obvious benefit of moving in together would be cheaper rent for me and less roommates.
I can't move in with him because his room and apartment are just too small. It's really cramped when I spend the night as is…
So the problem is pretty apparent. We've talked about moving in together, and we're both all for it, but it always boils down to the rent money. He just doesn't want to give up his place, and I really can't blame him. But I also wonder if we're going to be dating in 5 years, and I'll still be spending a fortune on an apartment I barely sleep in…. I guess I'm not sure what the compromise would even be here? If we found a place together the cost would be about $300 less for me, but $300 more for him a month. I also don't have debt, so I'm in a better situation overall. We make about the same salary. | boyfriend has cheap rent, i don't. We want to move in together, but it seems unreasonable for him to spend more while he's paying off debt. |
t3_3kxif4 | relationships | This guy (27M) has caught the feels for me (22F). Can you help me set boundaries? | So I met this guy through an online fetish site, but when we talked neither of us brought up sex, which was weird. We decided to meet up and hang out, and turns out we have explosive sexual chemistry.
I was very upfront with this guy that I got out of a 3 year relationship with someone a month ago and will not be ready for any sort of romantic relationship. He thought that was all good and fine.
Fast forward a week, and he says things like "Can I keep you?" and tells me he misses me after just one day apart. He even asked how us acting now would differ if we were in a relationship.
I know I need to set boundaries, and I know I'm not good at setting boundaries. So I'm here for some advice. I want to communicate to this guy that I enjoy his company and like having sex with him, but I feel really stressed when he tells me how much he misses me and that he's so happy now that he's found me. The direct romantic undertone on his part is driving me away.
Is there even coming back from this point? Should I push for a friends with benefits, or is it too late to set boundaries and should I drop him? If so, then I guess I need advice on how to not end up in this position again.
Thank you for your time. :) | Out of a 3 year relationship, not looking to rebound into a romantic relationship. Guy I have awesome sex with is catching the feels. Push for friends with benefits, or leave so the poor guy isn't as hurt later? |
t3_1g1s1w | offmychest | I started my first potentially serious relationship but can't shake really bad anxiety. | [23/f] So I've always been really shy and used that, among other things, as an excuse for not starting a relationship sooner. Last week a guy (21/m) that I had been talking to for a few months asked me out, after a bit of back and forth. We had a date on Thursday where we pretty much spent the whole day together. Part of the way through the day he held my hand which led up to him giving me a goodbye kiss at the end. It was my first kiss (I know late bloomer) so I was a bit embarrassed, but he was real nice about it and it seemed that everything was good. However, over the next couple days I've felt like serious crap. My heart beats really hard, loud, and on occasion really fast no matter how much I try to relax. I have random fits where I get pale, shaking, and panicky for seemingly no reason. I can't sleep without taking something. And I haven't really eaten much since Thursday because just the thought of eating makes me feel nauseous.
I really actually like this guy so I don't know why I feel this way. I'm meeting up with him again today, we've seen each other a bit but haven't really gone out since the first time on Thursday. He wants to take me out to dinner but I don't think I'll be able to eat anything, which would defiantly seem rude. I want to tell him what's going on yet I feel like I shouldn't start the date like, "Hi. Nice to see you. By the way you make me feel sick." First of all, I don't want him to think it's his fault. And second, I feel like he may not understand, hell I hardly understand.
I'm afraid that I may end up so desperate for the anxiety to go away that I'll push him away to get some relief.
I was going to post this to /r/relationship_advice, but I can't seem to form a decent question. | My first real relationship is causing me to develop some seriously bad anxiety that I've never experienced before. I'm trying to figure out how to tell my date, and what to do if it won't stop. |
t3_3tn16l | relationships | How do I [25F] politely decline friendly invitations to hang out with male friends? | Hi /r/relationships !
I have a lot more male friends than female friends, due to my hobbies and interests not being typical that of a girl's I guess. However, in my experience a lot of guys that I befriend eventually see me more than a friend. 80% of the time, it's never platonic. Some of my close ones have admitted to liking me once upon a time, and I've even had a one night stand with one of them. But I never felt anything more than friendship with these guys.
I'm in a serious relationship now, and of course, still seeing me as their friend, they often invite me to events. Sometimes one-on-one, sometimes with a group of friends. As respect to my boyfriend, I don't want to go see them due to past sexual encounters, and also knowing they have liked me before. I know I would never make a move, nor would they as they know I'm taken, but it's the principle of respect in a relationship.
The thing is, how do I tell all my guy friends this? I can only make up an excuse to not make events so many times. I obviously can't bring up my bf, because it's not like he's forbidding me to see them. But I would be uncomfortable with him seeing past flings or girls who have liked him before.
Declining so many events with guy friends have sadly dubbed me as "flaky." And I've also had someone I thought was a friend insult me, saying I'm anti-social and a bitch for not hanging out with him. Of course I was able to see his true colors and it was his loss, but I think I still owe it to my actual real friends an explanation. | How do I keep politely decline hanging out with friends who used to like me/had a one-night-stand with without coming off as a flaky person, due to wanting to respect my relationship? |
t3_dtgm8 | relationships | A tad confused as to where this might be going, if anywhere... | So I met a guy on a night out about a month ago, he took my number and texted me the next day. Since he was a friend of a friend I texted back, normally guys I meet on drunken nights out I wouldn't bother texting back. We met up a few days later and got takeaway and went for a long walk and it was great. He mentions briefly that he broke up with his gf of 4 years about 4 months ago, but doesn't elaborate beyond that one mention. We're both 20 year old college students btw.
Fast forward a few days later and after a bit more texting, I call over to his house. We throw on a dvd and after awhile start fooling around. Now I'm not the kind of girl to just jump into bed with anyone, so when it became apparent that he thought sex was on the cards I told him that wasn't happening. So I gave him head, which in itself is actually moving pretty fast for me and I was annoyed with myself after.
Due to him going back home for a few days and me being away on a college trip, we didn't see each other for nearly two weeks, during which time the texting was fairly steady, if not always daily. When it turned out though that he was going to be up in his college house sooner than expected, he texted for me to come over, but I'd already plans made and when he realised I wasnt going to come over he stopped texting.
So last night he collected me from college and brought me back to his and it was the same thing again - dvd was thrown on and fooling around began soon after. It unfolded the same way, with me going down on him.
I guess I'm just wondereing where this is going to go. I'm not overly hung up about it, I'm just interested to hear the thoughts and opinions of other Redditors as to how you read the situation. I suppose I reckon that he's just in it for the sex, which won't be happening for awhile yet, but a part of me is hoping that isn't the case :/ | Met a guy on a night out, blew him second and third date and am now convinced he just see's me as something to pass the time. |
t3_vti11 | relationship_advice | Possibly found picture of boyfriend naked with another girl? | I am a 19 year old female, boyfriend is 23 year old male and we have been together for 3 years. Throwaway. So I was on tumblr and was just...well, tumbling I guess, randomly clicking through blogs and whatnot when I came across a picture of a couple having sex. Now, this is not unheard of on tumblr, as tumblr is tumblr, however the dude in the picture looks EXACTLY like my boyfriend. Same face, hair, arms. I don't know if I should say anything, show him, bring it up, but it is pretty uncanny. I don't really have any reason to suspect him of doing this now, but maybe he did it before we dated? Not sure, but he isn't the type to not bring something like that up. No idea who to girl is, but she does have tattoos. At any rate pretty sure I do not know who she is.
What the hell should I do?! Ignore it and wait for it to go away? I mean there is a good chance that it is not even him, but as someone who looks at his face on a daily basis...it's pretty damn similar. | BF-doppelganger in steamy embrace with tattoo-ed other female on tumblr. WHAT DO I DO? |
t3_507gj3 | relationships | Is this girl [17] too shy to proceed or does she keep me [17M] only as a good friend? | Hey, first-time asking for help here. So, straight to the point, I have been friends with this girl to whom I have had feelings at since the beginning, but as of right now it seems I am a somehow good friend of hers. Question is, I am really unsure whether the girl just likes to have me as her friend, or is he just too shy or is she waiting for me to take the step forward?
Some examples regarding my rather complex situation: she laughs to nearly any of the jokes I say, does not really matter if it is a bad one or a good one, she is nearly certain to laugh. She also stares right into my eyes as she speaks to me, but then again I am unsure if she just does that to everyone. As we are in this WhatsApp-group together, I could guarantee she replies to nearly every message I send. She also kinda opened up on me last weekend regarding her insecurities about her self-esteem in her past.
Are these signs of her considering me as a good, potentially trustworthy friend or is she hinting something which I just do not manage to realize? | I have had feelings for a girl friend and I am unsure whether she likes me in that, please read my examples why I think so. |
t3_gtiph | AskReddit | What is true art? | I've been thinking about this today. I'm always keen to work towards the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs - self actualisation. I was thinking that although the idea of being a professional artist would be cool and possibly the closest to self actualisation for some people. But would you ever be fulfilled doing it?
What is true art? What does art need to be to be fulfilling?
Is something truly art if done for commercial purposes? If you're trying to please customers, can you really produce what you want to? If commissioned by someone else, can you really produce true art? | Is it still art if you do it for a job? Or will pressure from customers stop you expressing yourself how you want. |
t3_r9ajp | AskReddit | To the Redditor's out there who are just getting out of a long relationship: How do you get back into the dating scene? | It has been 2 years since the break up and I cannot get back the confidence I once had to even flirt with a female. I am so self conscious about my personality and my own body that I feel as if no girl wants anything to do with me. I guess part of this stemmed from her never doing anything intimate with me. The weird thing is that this was never the case before I dated her. I had no problem flirting with women, or even hooking up. How do I get out of this post break up funk? | How the hell do I get back into the dating scene after a sexless and intimate less relationship that lasted 2 years that has left me extremely self conscious about my personality and body post break up. |
t3_3aslzw | relationships | Me [17 F] with a guy I'm talking to [19 M], should pursue or would it be too weird? | So this summer I've been talking to/flirting with and hanging out with a friend of mine (let's call him Joe) that I've known since freshman year. He's already at college, and I'm going to the same college in the fall. He's always been flirty since I've known him, basically, but we rarely got to hang out in high school due to different friend groups and few classes together.
I'd go for it now, but there's just one problem.
Last year, I dated his former best friend Bob, who now goes to a different college. We broke up when he left for college, but we had a pretty intense relationship that lasted about 5 months (he was my first ever serious boyfriend). He and Joe had a falling out prior to me ever being on the scene due to a girl both were interested in a couple years ago, and Bob was pretty pissed at him about it. From what I gathered, Joe seemed ready to salvage the relationship between him and Bob, but he deemed it irreparable after a certain point.
I'm still friends with Bob, although we don't really hang together very often.
I'm just worried that if I make a move on Joe, he'll be too weirded out by the fact that I dated and slept with his ex-best friend to actively pursue a relationship with me. Is this a valid fear or am I overthinking it? | I like Joe, but dated and lost my virginity to his former best friend Bob. I'm afraid to pursue Joe because of any residual weirdness because of this. Is this a normal/valid fear? |
t3_1zb1tw | relationships | I [23 M] have been seeing someone [23 F] for a few weeks and am confused on where it's going | So a few weeks ago i started seeing a girl, and she is amazing. Our first date we talked for hours, went on a walk, kissed, all the great stuff.
The issue and the confusion I am having is our scheduling. It seems like hanging out with me isn't big to her, but when we do hang out we have alot of fun, we have hooked up a few times, and when we are together it is great.
But outside of that, it seems hard to find time to hang out. For example, last week we hung out on monday and made plans for tuesday, then 1/2 hour before she texted me saying she forgot that she made plans with her friend and had to cancel. And this weekend, she has these parties to go to, and I don't know if I'm assuming to much, but I thought she might invite me to one to meet her friends and what not.
I may just be reading to much into this because I havent been with anyone I am really into in a long time, all my other relationships I just kind of fell into and wasn't extremely into them or anything. As of now we see eachother maybe once a week, and granted both of our schedules are busy, but not that busy where there is only 1 time a week we can see each other. | Girl I am seeing and am extremely into seems a bit wishy washy on plans, could this just be her personality, or is this not really going anywhere? |
t3_3g94b0 | relationships | Me [23 F] and my ex [25 M] officially called it quits a week ago, is it too soon to start doing what i want again.. | my ex and i finally called it quits officially a week ago and have only spoke once, so i feel theres definitely no coming back and i think I'm fine with it now after months of misery...
We met on a dating website and dated almost two years. Is it too soon for me to have the urge to get back on that site and start meeting new people? Not looking for a relationship but start meeting and sort of dating around again, its a nice distraction...i know i shouldn't care but i feel as if he would see me on the site again so soon and would think I'm a whore or something. What do you guys think? | Officially single and ready to get back out there and live my life..or should i take time and just stay to myself? |
t3_2porn0 | relationships | How do I [17F] talk about fidelity in my long distance relationship [18M]? | I've been seeing him since September (it's been rocky & messy but we're in a good place now). We're in TX and NM, respectively. For the first 2 weeks it wasn't long-distance but now it will be until August, and I can afford to fly to see him 2x before then (still unsure of dates, though. Jan at earliest, March at latest.)
We haven't had the monogamy/exclusivity talk yet, but I have reason to believe it was just assumed when the word "relationship" was first said. Really, I'd love to be with him and him alone. However, I'd feel like a hypocrite asking for it because a) when we were first seeing each other as (direct quote) "emotional intimate fuck buddies" I slept with other people, including one of his closer friends, and b) I have cheated in 2 previous relationships, and in one of them multiple times.
Having curbed the various problems that led to the events of (b), I have no reason to suspect I won't do right by him. This being said, do I need to tell him this to be in integrity? And if so, how do I go about it? | how do I formally ask my long-distance SO for monogamy while acknowledging I've struggled with it in the past? |
t3_4cmnnw | relationships | I (21 M) need some help with going forward post break up. | If you'd like to know exactly what happened, feel free to view my post from a couple weeks ago.
I wrote her a letter in an attempt to gain some closure and to also gauge her feelings on the breakup. I honestly was hoping that after not being in contact with each other for nearly a month that she would be open to communicating and discussing things. A friend of hers told me yesterday that she is not changing her mind after reading it, however, and it looks like the relationship is completely over. Needless to say, I was very upset with the reality. It's tough to swallow, but that's life and I cannot do anything about it.
That aspect blows, but my main problem is my sentimentality. It's difficult for me to be in my room at college due to all of the memories, as well as the anxiousness. I will literally have to go to the local diner, or just drive around in order to retain my sanity. Even driving sometimes conjures up old feelings and memories since I drove the same roads to get to her college only about 10 minutes away.
I returned all of the items that she left here. Yet, I still find the thoughts, memories, feelings hard to shake. It has been nearly a month since the breakup and it does not feel as if it has gotten easier. Is there anything else I can do while I'm in my room to help push the thoughts away? The emotional pain is still quite raw, I don't exactly know how to deal with it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | I am having a hard time moving on from memories, emotions, etc. and feel a sense of urgency because of it |
t3_2aqh8j | relationships | How can I [22F] stop being that "suspicious girlfriend" of [22M] | So, I've been dating this guy for about 6 months. We're in love, and I do trust him so much and things are going extremely well.
The only thing, is just tonight I was messaging a friend on his facebook when I accidentally pressed the back button and it brought me to a list of all his recent facebook messages. One was from a girl, and all I could see was her recent message of " ;) ;) " and it made me sick to my stomach. I'm telling myself I'm wayyyy over reacting.
Of course, I didn't look into it any further, or even ask him about it. Like I said, I trust him and love him dearly, but is this feeling of jealousy or suspiciousness normal? He noticed I started acting quiet and when he asked me what was wrong, I played it off like I was fine. He was really concerned and apparently I'm not good at hiding my feelings.
Anyway, sorry for rambling, I just don't like this part of being a girlfriend and would love to know how to overcome that. | Saw brief and potentially innocent message from girl on boyfriends facebook and I got extremely suspicious. How do I stop this?? |
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.