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t3_4ir6dp | relationships | Me [28F] with my husband [29M] of 5 years, trying to decide if I want a break | I have been with my husband since I was 19 years old. We lost our virginity to each other, and we have never been with anyone else from the beginning. I never had a problem with that before, until recently.
I find myself being attracted to other men and (rarely) even some women. I know it's normal to occasionally see another man and think fleetingly "oh, he's hot," but then move on with your life. I am at a point, however, where I am thinking about other men for a lot more than a passing moment. I am fantasizing about other men during sex. I am picturing myself being with other men.
I know that I am bored in my current relationship. My husband is stagnant with his own life (career, fitness, hobbies, etc.) and just has no ambition in general. He doesn't challenge me or excite me at all. The sex is still good, but we seem to be having less of it and he rarely (if ever) initiates. I am getting tired of coming home from work to find him on the couch playing video games. I try to encourage him to get up, do things, exercise, get a better job, *something*. He just...sits there.
I love him, I really genuinely do, with all my heart. I can see myself having children and growing old with him. But I need more from him and my pleas for change seem to fall on deaf ears, or to only bring about change for a few days at a time before he falls back into old habits and patterns.
I have talked to him about my desire to explore my sexuality and the possibility of opening up our marriage. He declined fervently. He is dead set against an open marriage, or even a single hall pass.
So now comes decision time for me. Do I accept my husband's refusal to open the marriage and try to work on my current relationship? Or do I ask for a separation and go explore this new-found sexuality? | I am bored in my otherwise good/comfortable marriage and wanting to explore other relationships. My husband says no to an open marriage. Do I accept it and move on, or do I try a separation? |
t3_13h09r | AskReddit | After an issue with a relative I realized this. "Do not judge smart people for their stupid actions or stupid people for their smart actions. Judge the person on the ratio they hold between each regardless of their educational achievements." What philosophies or revelations have relatives given you? | I realized this after a story my mother told me about the prior Christmas. My uncle's wife told everyone she wanted to do all the work for cooking and whatnot, instead of having my elderly grandmother do it as she usually does. This was wonderful of her, but she needed to make sure she made most of it without any milk products as my mother is lactose intolerant among other milk allergies.
Now this should have been no problem at all, as it is surprisingly easy to make most foods without milk with little taste change. That, and she did not need to make everything without milk, just a few things so my mother could eat too. It is important to note that she also holds a Master's degree in Education, something that is not particularly easy to obtain. It is assumed it takes a significant amount of intelligence to reach this, and one would also assume at least slight attention to detail when someone's health is involved.
On the day of, my mother checked with her and asked if she had in fact made certain things without milk. She replied yes.
My mother asked, "So what did you use instead?"
She replied, "Margarine of course, it doesn't contain milk."
Suffice to say, my mother did not eat much that Christmas.
(And yes, some margarines do not contain milk, but most do, and this one certainly did as clearly marked on the label.) | My uncle's wife with a master's degree in education does not know how to check labels for milk before cooking and my mother resorted to eating almost nothing for Christmas dinner. |
t3_2l5c2v | relationships | Rules about owing money? (F24) & (f38) | About 2 years ago a mutual friend of mine and my ex was having money problems and couldn't pay her rent. We weren't exactly poor so we each loaned her around $1000, which over the next year she managed to pay a tiny bit back.
My ex and I broke up and she didn't approve of my new boyfriend and we had a huge argument about it (Long story short, my current SO is from our mutual circle of friends and it caused some upset for my ex understandably but my friend basically said I can't be friends with you now but when this all blows over I can, and that doesn't fly with me. I don't like being dropped and then when everything is smooth sailing we can pick up the friendship again)
It was an immediate end to the friendship which ended really badly and we haven't spoken since. However, she still owes me what I consider alot of money.
In my opinion, if I fell out with someone I would still pay them back. For example, I can't stand my ex, my blood boils at the thought of him but if I owed him money when we split up I'd set up installments or something because at the time I took that money on the grounds I would pay it back. Anything he does after that doesn't undo that promise.
So its been a year now and I obviously can't just send her a message and ask her for this money, and this is clearly my fault for not making it clear I wanted my money back regardless of friendship status. I've tried to accept that I just won't get it back but it annoys me ALL the time.
Reddit, what would you do? | someone owes me around $1000 but our friendship ended badly. Would it annoy you if they didn't even try to pay it back? |
t3_2wgo3x | relationships | My best friend just broke up with me. Again... | So me (24M) and my best friend (24F) (call her Nikki) have been friends for quite sometime.
Two and a half years or so ago our flirting escaladed to having her pinned against a wall making out. Being with her felt so right and it lead to us dating. As things went along feelings developed relatively fast.
I thought before I had loved someone but holy shit, I fell for her harder than I already had. We'd stay up for hours on end talking whether it was face to face or on the phone. My face would light up everytime she texted me and couldn't wait to see her even if we had just seen each other.
But then after a few months she ended it, she said she just wanted to be friends. After that I responded the worst possible way, lots of meaningless sex and even more drugs, usually at the same time. We remained friends and everything and there weren't really hard feelings, I was just terribly depressed. The thing that got me the most is that she would say she missed us and how I was the only one who could ever make her feel the way she did. (Didn't know where to add this but her mom didn't much approve either, which meant we hid it from the families.)
Fast forward some and we had sorta left all that behind and been friends, but when it was just us we kinda acted like we were dating with all the things we said and other more physical stuff.
Eventually it got to the point where I ask her out again. This was only a month ago so her breaking up with me this afternoon didn't hurt nearly as bad but, I don't really know what to do from here going forward. She's probably the most important person that's part of my life right now, my closest friend and the only girl that has ever really made me feel something. Were still friends of course but I really wish we could be something more. I can live without her, its just she makes my life so much better. I'm kinda rambling at this point. If I could have a private conversation with someone that'd be great, there's a ton I omitted due to length | I'm in love with my best friend, hurts to be so close and to not her not really be mine. Got back together, broke up again and idk what to do. |
t3_1wwwy2 | relationships | Me [30m] with my fiance [29f]: wedding woes, mothers-in-law, and desperate measures. | My fiance and I are due to be married in a few months. Fiance and I are great. Problem is fiance's mom.
Fiance and her mom have been having problems the wedding planning. From minor arguments to full on blowouts. The wedding has been "cancelled" more than a few times. Every time, they eventually make up and get back to planning this shindig.
Fiance's parents are paying for the whole thing. I don't really care about a big wedding, and neither does my family. I am just along for this ride (which is perfectly fine with me). I have successfully stayed out of the drama thus far.
Onto the problem: the most recent fight (couple days ago) might have been the big one. Specific reasons aren't important, but suffice it to day, mom is making the wedding about her and not us. Fiance is tired of it.
Fiance now wants to elope and wash her hands of the whole ceremony. This isn't the first time she threatened this, but it is the first time that she's stuck to it for more than a day. Usually the drama blows over quickly.
I told her that if she still feels this way in a week then we can discuss eloping. It is day 3 and she is calling courthouses to find a judge available next week.
Honestly I don't care either way. Nobody on my side will care that much if the big party is cancelled. Her mom will be livid and her parents will be out several thousands of dollars from lost deposits. Her dad doesn't care about the party but will be upset about the money.
What is my role here? Do I support my fiance in her decision, assuming she does want to elope? Even if it causes a big (possibly permanent) rift between her and her parents? I feel like the temporary frustration at wedding planning will be small compared to what could happen if she burns her parents over this. But I don't want to take the mom's side, because frankly, my fiance has a legitimate beef here. The wedding is becoming the "mom show." | Mother of the bride is out of control. Fiance wants to cancel big wedding and elope, potentially damaging relationship with parents. Groom doesn't know what to do. |
t3_1yvxty | relationships | Me [25F] and my SO of 6 months [28M] are on the verge of ending. I'm terrified, he's angry. How can I fix this? Should I? | I just moved to the UK about 6 months ago from Canada for work. I got lucky and met my bf within a week or so of getting here. He was amazing and helped me settle in, and made me feel so much better about being in a scary new place.
The first 5 months were a fairy tale. We got along so well, and instantly became best friends as well as being together. He just bought a house, so we spent ages decorating and furnishing it, and he kept hinting at how great it would be when I moved in with him after my current lease had ended.
About a month ago, we got into our first real fight. It was about something dumb (caught him looking at porn) and I got upset. We figured it out, but completely pulled away from me. Because of that, I started chasing him, wanting to fix things, wanting everything to be ok, and he said that made him feel smothered. It's been nearly 3 weeks of arguing, even though we've still had good times in between.
Last night he basically said he didn't think it would get better, so I asked him to say straight up to me that he wanted to break up, but he couldn't. He asked me to leave him alone for the night to think about it.
The thought of him not being around scares me so much. He's exactly the kind of person I've always wanted to be with. He's so funny and relaxed, and I've never been more comfortable with a person.
Also, if it ends, I'll be back to being on my own in this country, and I'm not very good at making friends (I'm insanely shy). I don't want to go through this without him.
What do I do? Can I save this? Should I try? | Moved to new country, had amazing 5 months with bf, now he's pulling back because he feels smothered. |
t3_1u2w39 | relationships | I [25F] still dream about my ex [24M] every night despite having a new bf [26M]. Is this bad? | My ex and I were together for 7 years and it ended horribly. He cheated On me, I said all these hurtful things to him no one would want to hear then we both mutually agreed to stop talking completely. The problem is, we have a group of 10 mutual friends that we both keep in contact with so sometimes I have to hear about him still. We broke up a year ago.
I met my new boyfriend, Larry, 4 months ago and everything has been going well. We are in love and he is MUCH better fit for me than my ex. I think he could be the one. We've talked about getting married.
I'm not quite sure when the dreams about my ex started because I don't remember a lot about them but over the last few months its been every night. I feel extremely guilty in the morning waking up next to Larry after just dreaming about my ex. The dreams are mostly us hanging out as friends after the break up. Sometimes we become romantic again but mostly we reconcile and I tell him I don't hate him anymore and we hang out like good friends. It makes me feel good then I wake up and also feel guilty for all the horrible things I said to him.
Is this a bad sign? Should I be feeling guilty about these dreams? Is there a way to stop them? Should I tell Larry about them? | I have been dreaming about my ex every night for months despite the fact that I have a boyfriend now who I love very much. |
t3_40vyww | relationships | I[18 M] am confused by my friend[18 F]. | She has been constantly trying to date me and be involved with me as we have been long time friends I have always been careful about starting something like that. My other issue is her attempts to come onto me when she was just 16/17, which i completely rebuffed.
She is now 18 and is continuing to try to come onto me and has flat out told me she wants to date me. Also for her birthday she asked to sleep with me(I don't know what to do in respect to this), and i truly have no idea how to reply to any of this. I love her, but I don't know if it's like a sister or a girlfriend and I feel like i'm being forced into deciding and I do not know what to do. Help! | Long time friend expresses continued sexual and romantic interest and I dont know how I feel and its bugging me because I don't know how to tell her to slow down. |
t3_4n9rhp | relationships | Is it possible to room with your ex? [22F] me [23M] him. 4 yr relationship, 2yrs since we broke up. | I want my own apartment, but unfortunately I can't afford 750 (the lowest price I can find) a month. I don't want to room with annoying people. I wanna have my own place. My own stuff. decorate to my taste. And live on my own.
My ex is my best friend. We understand each other so well. We were engaged but I broke it off because I just knew I wasn't growing in the way I wanted to. Also unhappy with him. He was never mean. It was always me upset with him, because I never got alone time with him. And that's all I ever wanted. And I rarely ever got his full attention because his dad or bro always wanted him, and I'm like...could I just get a fucking hug? Ha. I knew I meant the world to him. But he displayed that his family meant more than I.
So I ended it, and went on this journey of a huge growth spurt in maturity and I've transformed to being... Not numb, but uber down to earth and not caring so much.
Anyway my point is. This dood who is my ex is the only person who I would like as my roommate.
The only drawback is me hooking up with him (because I'll finally have what I always wanted). And I really love being independent it makes me feel strong. And I also know that I don't want to spend my life with him, I know there is someone out there, I feel his presence. So.. I'm pretty I can force myself to never hook up with him. If... Someone really tells me it's a really bad idea to sleep with my ex. I just need that affirmation. | I wanna move in with ex, but I'm afraid I'll relapse back into his arms. Is it that bad or not a big deal and I can work through it? |
t3_3c92ez | relationships | Me [25 M] with my "crush?" [24 F] 2 days, first time this is happened to me | has happened*
So this is one of those things, you can't really waste your friends' time with. No one really wants to hear about it.
This weekend I went on a trip where I met this girl, who admittedly I already knew had a bf (he wasn't there). She turned out to literally be a 100% match to what my type is. Looks AND personality. The only bad thing is, she was way too flirty for someone that is in a relationship. Obviously, I was too, but I'm single.
The question/topic of discussion here is... Why the hell am I constantly thinking about her with a weight on my chest I've only felt with a ltr, when I just met her and I only spent 2 days with her? The chance of me and her right now is pretty much 0% but here I am not being able to stop thinking about her. This can't be normal, it should take much longer time to develop this? Am I just being a chick? How do I shake it? | Get a crush on girl I just met, biggest crush I've probably ever had and can't shake it. Barely know her. |
t3_1xu7dj | relationships | I [24 M] Can't Stop Thinking About Former Co-Worker[25 F], What do I Do? | Hey Guys,
So there's a girl I worked with last Summer, she left at the start of August because she got a better job in another city. I trained her in the whole time so we got to know each other pretty well.
Anyway, the whole time we worked together I liked her. I'm 99.99% sure the feelings were reciprocated on some level, based both on my own instincts and the comments of others. The reason I never made a move is because I'd been burned by office romance before and want to avoid it (still working with *her*, 2/10 would not recommend btw). I texted her a few times after she'd left to try and stay in touch but it didn't work out. I saw a few days ago (through sad, sad Facebook stalking), that she may be back in Dublin at least for the time being.
Thing is, I NEVER stopped thinking about her this whole time. I have been with other women since but they just don't measure up, like NO ONE has EVER measured up to this girl. I really feel like I dropped the ball before and my instinct is to give it a try.
Am I being a bit stalkery here? I mean it's been 6 months since we talked, and I don't even know if she still likes me/has met someone else. Moreover, what do you say after 6 months!? "Hey, I saw a pic of you on FB in that pub down the road! What are you at tmr about 8:00?"... Is it just V-day desperation!? HELP! | After 6 months I still can't get this girl I am totally stalking out of my head. WHAT DO, REDDIT!? |
t3_o1grt | AskReddit | What is the etiquette on getting money you lent out back? | My neighbor whom has become a decent friend of mine, borrowed $20 from me a few months ago, a few days after she borrowed it she asked for another $20. The following week her husband borrowed $20. Then last week she asked me to pick up a $15 bottle for new years and that she would pay me back the next day. I told her I would only get it if she could pay me back the full $75 the next day. So new years comes and goes and although we were hanging out, there was no mention of paying me back. Today I am getting my car worked on racking up a $200 bill. I asked her if she would be able to pay me soon since I do actually need the money due to car repairs. I specifically mentioned the $75 amount in our conversation and she seemed surprised at the amount, and responded with an irritated "I guess"
Was I wrong in the way I handled this? | Neighbor/friend has racked up a $75 debt to me and seems surprised that I have asked her to pay it back |
t3_vfbxy | needadvice | How can I talk my grandparents out of making a mistake? | so I have about $900 before my fall semester of college is paid off and its due July 31st. My grandparents paid off their car in January and told me that they are going to ( I don't know exactly what its called) but its where you get a loan for your car title. As of right now they are on social security and disability and get $1800 a month we live on a tight budget already and usually after we pay all our bills and house we have about $200 left for food and gas. Which makes me think that they wouldn't be able to back the loan. I've already asked them to not do it that I would figure out a way not to pay for it but they said they really want to do it. Also I live with my grandparents and i'm 17. | my grandparents want to get a loan for their car title and I think its bad idea because they probably won't be able to pay it back. |
t3_1p37pr | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [25 F] - Snooped. Regret it. | So me and my girlfriend have been together about a year now, early on during our "hooking up" period I was VERY passive. She thought I wanted nothing to do with her and basically was just looking to bang; that wasn't the case - I had other dilemmas causing me to not move forward but for whatever reason got over it and we started dating. Anyway, during this hookup period she accidentally left her phone at my house - and being the asshole that I am, I started looking through her text messages with a mutual girl-friend we share. Her annoyance with me and the way I was handling her was clear, however, I stumbled upon her saying I had a "small dick" and other dick related nonsense. Personally, while not huge, I don't think my dick is all that small - about 5.5 inches. I'm sure it was out of anger and frustration towards the way I was treating her at the time - however, I can't shake it. I want the truth! Does she actually find me small? When I've hinted towards it she's given me "No, your dick is huge", "honestly it's big", "I can't even fit it in my mouth" etc etc -- which in turn just makes me LIVID. I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID!
I'm embarrassed and now hate having to see this mutual friend because she has a big mouth. Is there any way to bring this up? Maybe get some sort of closure? It's fucking with my head big time. | Before dating GF, she thought I was just trying to get sex out of her - read her texts and saw her mention my dick was small. When asked now, she says its "huge" - It's fucking with my head. |
t3_50e9ku | Advice | Social Anxiety problems in Highschool | Hey guys, I'm a sophomore in Highschool and lately I've been having some pretty bad social anxiety problems. I have no problem hitting it off with people that open up to me, but it's hard for me to try and talk to people that I don't know--especially if they're a girl. Before I can get into what I find difficult in socializing, let me describe myself: I'm not necessarily fat, but if I went to the pool with my friends you could tell that I'm a littlr chubby. I'm average looking and I tend to keep to myself. This matters because my chubbiness gets to me: I'm worried to talk to girls because I honestly feel like they'll just get creeped out by me. That feelings alleviated by the fact that I'm bad at small talk, talk quietly at first, and have a sort of weird sense of humor. Now on to the problem: I can't bring myself to say hi to people. If someone's seated next to me in class and they open up to me, I can hit it off with them pretty well, but if not, then I just find it hard to say hi without getting the feeling that I'm being weird and should just stay quiet. | So I guess here's where I need advice: How do I make friends with people (especially girls) and start conversations without seeming weird, creepy or awkward? |
t3_tblvs | AskReddit | Askreddit, help me decide my future. | I'm a senior in highschool, getting ready to go on to college. I'm scared shitless. I have absolutely NO idea what I want to do with my life and what I want to major in.
I know what you're thinking, "Barely anyone knows what they want to do when they're a freshman! You can declare your major at the end of your sophomore year!"
Well, no. Not at my school. At my school, you have to declare you're major when you register for classes and if you want to change your major once you have picked it, you'll have to apply as a transfer student to the school that has the major you want.
I'm stuck. I really like writing, and I'm really good at it, but how is that going to make me any money? I know the kind of life style I want and being a writer isn't going to give me that kind of income. I like biology, but at my school you have to take 4 years of calculus for the bio major, and that also scares me shitless because I've ALWAYS struggled extremely with math. Taking calculus will give me automatic panic attacks.
When I look at the list of majors that my school offers there just isn't anything I want to do. I'm so scared :( Help me please! | I have no idea what I want to major in or what I want to do with my life and it scares me shitless. |
t3_1q0xwg | relationship_advice | My girlfriend (19/f) of one month tells me she wants me (25m) to make her work for me and doesn't want me to fall in love first. | So I feel this is a very different type of question. I've been dating this girl that I met in another country that moved back home and recently moved near where I live to live with a mutual friend and I was a big part of the reason she came here. We've been together about a month and the other day she said "Please don't fall in love with me first, I really want this to work out." Apparently, she got scared when other guys got too clingy in the past and couldn't help but getting scared off. She then stated that her sister mentioned that she thinks she needs to work for a guy and told me that she wants me to make her work for me. I'm not really sure quite how to do this and keep it in balance. Also, what do you make of the "don't fall in love with me first" statement? As a qualifier, she also would say things like "I want to be with you forever" and "this is so perfect, I've never had anything like this with any other guy." I need some advice/clarification redditors! Thanks! | Girlfriend doesn't want me to fall in love with her before she falls in love with me, wants me to make her work for me. |
t3_4ilprh | relationships | Me [25 F] with my BF[25 M] 1.5 years dating/6 year friendship. Not sure how to comfort BF when he talks about his father . | Hi everyone,
I am currently on my phone - sorry if there's mistakes.
I don't know how to react or comfort my boyfriend "Mike", when he talks about his dad. Few days ago I texted Mike if he was going to have dinner with his dad and he texted back something along the lines of "don't know if I will ..he's been flakey lol ...". I felt bad and I responded that parents should make time for their kids and I expected Mike to make time when we have kids . I felt like I came off preachy , but he agreed.
Another incident happened on Mike's birthday and his dad cancelled on the hour of the dinner. Mike was pretty upset and I had no idea what to say.
How can I comfort him about his slightly absentee dad when I do not really care for his dad ?
To give highlights on Mike'd dad, he gave up parenting rights to Mike's maternal grandma since Mike's mother passed away and grandma "requested " to be the parent figure. So Mikes dad lives on the other side of the city , and Mike would visit him every weekend.
Mike's dad doesn't really care for me either and expressed it to Mike a few times . Stating that it was a problem that I didn't speak our ethnic Asian language, and that I was too "Americanized ". When Mike told his dad , he planned on proposing to me - his dad came up with every excuse for us not to be together . Even stating that my wedding was going to be "too American" for his friends to invite to and that he should be able to invite any friends he wants since Asians give money as gifts and we shouldn't worry about the finances .
Knowing that his dad doesn't like me for petty reasons and as an outsider looking in - he's an absentee father, I can't comfort or listen to Mike without passing judgement or comparing Mike's dad to my dad . Should I just quietly listen or ask him questions to open up more ? | I don't care for my BFs dad but want to be able to comfort or listen to BF when he feels down about their relationship - but don't know how ? |
t3_2txuf2 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [21 F] 2 Year, Think my GF may be interested in seeing me with her best friend | So as the title kind of says.
I think my GF may be interested in seeing me with her best friend. We spent alot of time with her best friend who goes to a different university over both of our universities winter breaks.
Because there was always just the 3 of us, the two of them started referring to me as both of their boyfriends. As Valentines Day approaches and my 2 year anniversary my GF told me to buy her best friend a set of lingerie as a "joke" for Valentines Day before I knew what I was getting her.
I know this doesn't necessarily mean she wants to see me with her best friend but it is rather weird she wants me to buy her friend a garter, a g string and thigh high fishnets, and ask her for a photo when it gets there.
Does anybody have any idea what may be going on in her mind. I'm sorry this doesn't have much context. The only context I can give is me and my GF have been having sexual issues due to vaginal issues with herself. | Bought my GF's best friend a sexy ass lingerie outfit per her request. I feel like this is a trap help! |
t3_16qmwz | jobs | need some advice on my current job situation | I'd been searching for a job since October, and finally found one thanks to the resources on jobbit. However, there are a few problems with it. It's a start up, so there are long hours. That's to be expected, but the pay seems abnormally low for the amount of hours. Its been 3 weeks since I started working there, and I've already seen 3 employees quit. There is high turnover, and it seems to be a very hostile work environment. Coworkers are all very nice, but I don't think I can get any good or relevant experience there. I'm wondering if I should stick it out for half a year at least, and then try to find another job. Or if I should still keep looking, and not list this current job on my resume? Would it look bad if I only worked for a few months before leaving? | Finally found a job but it seems a bit sketchy. Need advice on if I should still actively pursue another job. |
t3_52tij3 | relationships | [31/M] Online dating- second email after no response? | I signed up for Match about three weeks ago solely for the purpose of messaging a girl who "winked" at me (can't send messages with the free account). I messaged her and she read it but never responded. I am fairly confident she's not a robot so I was kind of bummed out to not get a response and confused as to why she'd express interest in the first place.
My one month membership is about to expire and I haven't had the greatest experience with Match so I'm going to cancel before it renews. Before that happens I am wondering if it's worth sending her a second email and, if so, how can I improve my chances of getting a reply? I wouldn't be wasting my time if not for the fact that she has a lot of qualities I'd look for in a partner and we seem to have similar values/interests. Part of me says I have nothing to lose, the other part says I'm an idiot. | Girl winked at me on Match but never replied to my message. Am I dumb for considering sending a second one? |
t3_13zrcr | dogs | I don't know whether to shave my Akita's coat for the summer or not. Online research has given me mixed answers. | Apart from just having two coats, my Akita also has a long outer coat instead of the shorter coat found mostly on Akitas'. So this keeps him even WARMER. Provided how they prefer snowy conditions.
Today it was 40 degrees in Melbourne. (104F)
He was outside during the hottest part of the day (no one was home) plus he is an outside dog. Obviously he had plenty of water & shade.
But when I returned home, he was just lying down, unexcited and panting unstoppably. I assumed he was overheating so I immediately hosed him with water and took him for a drive with the windows down to cool him down.
This did help, and he wasn't as bad after but still didn't stop panting for the rest of the night. However I ensured I did my best to keep him cool.
It's quite scary to witness and I was wondering, (although these temperatures are uncommon here in Melbourne, Australia) would he benefit from a shaved coat this summer?
People are saying different things and I don't know what to believe;
some say **"No, that will make him hotter because he will lose the insulation and heat protection he was born with to keep himself sheltered"**; whilst others say **"Yes, because his coat is so insulating, shaving it would be like taking a snow jacket off and definitely keep him cooler throughout the summer"**.
Who should I believe!? | My dog is a snow dog. It's summer here now and it gets hot. Some believe shaving the coat will help him cool down whilst others believe shaving his coat will make his skin overheat and wont keep him cool. |
t3_243hjv | relationship_advice | [M/17] make a(nother) move on [F/18]? | Okay, I'll try to keep it short, and if you guys need more details, then just ask.
I've had some attractions towards this girl (we'll call her Rachel) for a while. We've had some classes, but never got too close. I knew her well enough to get her number after just a few conversations, but not much else. We had never hung out outside of school, actually.
I eventually got the courage to ask her to coffee last summer and she declined, essentially. We basicaly stopped communicating and had no classes this year. Saturday, I was in her prom group. There were some sparks, but I'm unsure how much interest I piqued from her in our first real time hanging out together. But there was definitely something. But as I said, I've always had some real attractions to this girl, though they haven't reciprocated thus far.
After she declined my first offer, and I don't see her at school, how do I try to make another move? Do I make one at all? Or just let her walk? | girl that i've been interested in declined date offer without knowing me well. knows me a bit more after spending time with me in prom group. not sure her interest level, but mine is fairly high. what's my next move? |
t3_20vgqy | relationships | Me [20 M]. I'm between jobs right now waiting for my job to start in may/june. How can I not let this affect my dating life?(x-post /r/advice) | A little background, I'm 20, attend college and a certified EMT. I had to quit my job several months ago because business had decreased so much that they could no longer give me work. They were basically just letting me sit on the schedule and only giving me several hours a week.
So I recently applied to a seasonal firefighting position and I was informed that the job is 99% mine unless something goes terribly wrong. I will more then likely be starting at the end of may.
I would like to start a relationship soon as I'm going to be insanely busy this summer and wont have time to seek relationships out then. There are girls I'm interested in and would like to ask out but me being between jobs makes me feel inadequate and I'm sure that has to do with the way I was raised. How can I get over this feeling? How should I explain my situation to girls? I don't want to say that I'm a wild land firefighter and have the job not be 100% locked even though it kind of is. Also I'm broke until then. | I'm between jobs and wanting to date now because when I finally do get my job I will be extremely busy. Not sure how to handle this. |
t3_3sbbx0 | relationships | I[29m] accidentally came into work the other day with incredibly stinky shoes and might have made others uncomfortable. Should a make an apology or just move on? | So I work in an office environment, which is pretty casual, and my shoes seemed to have turned for the worse yesterday. I think it's the humidity where I live (southern U.S.). It was noticeable to me, but I could not go home and change shoes. I retreated back to my cubicle, but sometimes I had to be in the same open air with others. One person who usually camps out at a particular section of the office uncharacteristicly moved to another area of the office. Keep in mind, these shoes are now in the dumpster. I feel super embarrassed, and want to make things right, "clear the air". Should I do this? Or just move on and try to diagnose the medical condition that might have arisen in private? No one made an obvious fuss, but if I could smell it, they definitely could. | shoe smell that would get the Geneva convention involved might have gassed my coworkers out. Not sure if it is wise to make light of it. |
t3_420g7a | tifu | TIFU by not wearing glasses earlier | So this FU actually happened long time ago
When I was 2nd grade I already noticed that I cant see very far. I knew this because I sat at the back and I would transfer to the seat infront because I cant understand what's written on the board.
Fast forward next year. My teacher began to notice that I would squint when I'm reading something on the board. The teacher told my mom about it (she was also a teacher in my school). And my mom decided that I'd try wearing glasses.
Now this is where the FU began. My stupid self thought that "glasses are for nerds I don't need that shit" and some other stupid stuff and so I didn't wear my glasses in school, I only wear it when I'm home.
My mom was really worried about me and she told my teachers that they would remind me to wear my glasses, but I still won't wear them at school.
Fast forward to highschool when my vision is really bad and I now use my glasses when taking notes. Teachers would still remind me though that I should wear them always.
The next year, my mom retired from being a teacher in my school and for some reason I started wearing my glasses always. I swear it didn't have anything to do with my mother being a teacher in my school. I just started wearing them like it was part of an everyday activity
But it was too late. (I think) My eyesight cannot be corrected anymore. I'm talking about 400/400 eyesight ( I don't know what it means in dioptres). And now I'm living the rest of my life as a visually impaired person.
I'm now 17 with 700/700 eyesight and my glasses are even outdated by two years.
I don't want to try LASIK because it's very expensive and doesn't guarantee perfect vision, not to mention a lot of side effects. I don't want contacts either because some can cause infection. | Didnt wear glasses when I was a kid because I didn't like wearing them. Now i regret my decision because now my eyesight is very, very bad |
t3_2esdys | relationship_advice | Company is moving to Canada, moving expenses paid for, place to stay until I [F25] get my own, everything is perfect except my ex [m31] works with me and might go too | I want to go to Toronto with my company, it sounds really amazing. They're paying for everything including moving expenses and a week paid for the actual move. They're providing 2 weeks free housing so I can have time to look for my own place, and they're offering 18 months of guaranteed work. I want to get the hell out of California as I don't like as much as I thought. It's too hot here and I've never lived anywhere up north (never even seen snow), so I want to experience that. I love to travel and live in different places, so this is something I really want to do. The only problem is that my ex might go too and honestly he makes my life miserable. Currently we are sort of on friendly terms (I'll explain why "sort of"), we hang out sometimes alone and with others. It's civil. But there's always something that happens that one of us gets really mad about, always drama I don't want to deal with. I'm getting really sick of everything and I'm ready to just tell him that we should stop talking altogether. The only problem is I feel guilty about it because we were friends before we dated, and also it might be weird since we work together and we have a lot of mutual friends. So I'm really torn. I could stay in California and find a different job, but I'd miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity just to get away from him. Please give me some advice!! | company is moving to Toronto, I want to move too but my ex might go as well and I want to get a way from him. |
t3_37icpo | Advice | I've completely lost my motivation at work. | I've been at my job for about 2 and a half years. When I first started, I loved it. A year in, I got a promotion, and I loved my new position too. But the past few months all that has gone away and I can't stand the job anymore.
Even after the "honeymoon period" was over, I still enjoyed the work up until recently. I think it's partly caused by lack of recognition; I don't feel like anything I do is valuable or important, especially not in the grand scheme of things, and neither my direct supervisor nor upper management is helping to change my mind about that.
Second, I do the same things, day after day. It's mind numbingly boring. When I started the job and when I got the promotion, I was learning a lot and felt that I was growing both professionally and personally. Now I feel stagnant. I could do this job in a coma. And there doesn't seem to be any hope for another promotion or more job responsibilities, not any time soon.
Third, the job is very stressful with very little payoff. I don't make enough money, and again, I get no praise or recognition. I take my work home with me, figuratively and literally, because I have to; I'm hourly but don't have enough hours to get the work done so I end up working off the clock (which no one is asking me to do, and for a while I didn't mind, but combined with everything else I do mind now).
I don't even want to talk to my manager about this. She always gives some canned answer: "I'll see what I can do," "Let's see where the company is at in a few months." And she's so fucking positive and supports the company so much that I feel bad being so negative. | Lack of recognition, no increase in job responsibilities, and a stressful job have made me lose all motivation at work when I used to love it. Manager doesn't help and I don't want to cause problems. |
t3_48bg9f | relationships | My friend [M22] is deep, deep into the friendzone with the love of his life [F21]. What should I say to him? | My friend has for a long time loved a girl he's known for a long time and who I've recently got to know. For a while now they've both been single and he's really been hitting on her, thing is that this girl is really flirty with everyone (also with me at the moment), she touches him a lot (non-sexually), makes him feel very important, he spends time with her and her girlfriends and I know he's talked to her about personal issues at home and with his past girlfriend. She sees him as a really, really good friend and she enjoys his company, but she's made it very clear that he'll never be anything more than a friend, but he doesn't pick up on these signals and thinks there is potential. I believe he thinks he can get her through sheer perseverance, but we all know that it as good as never happens. Is there anything I can do for him in this case? | My friend is being massively friendzoned by a flirty (with everyone) girl, but he's either not realizing it or not willing to realize it. Is it something I can do for him? |
t3_rupbq | AskReddit | What's the cruelest / funniest practical joke you've pulled on a coworker? I'll start... | I used to work as a bench tech at a laptop repair company, and we had a new guy start that was very cocky and sort of a jerk. To make matters worse he had no idea what he was doing, putting screws through about 4 motherboards on his first day. Out on a smoke break, we started thinking of the best way to really mess with him... and came up with the following...
>I came back in, and casually walked over this his desk. Made some small talk for a few minutes, just asking where he had worked before, how he heard about the job, etc. I then looked at him and said "hey, I am wondering if you can help me. Wes said that his dad is planning on going for the world record for most consecutive pushups, but he won't tell me how many pushups his dad can actually do. I looked it up, and the world record is like 1200 pushups, so I definitely think he's full of shit. Would you mind waiting about 15 minutes or so, then go over and try to find out how many pushups his dad can do?"
>He agreed, and I went back to my desk and got back to work. About 20 minutes later, I hear, **"WHO THE *FUCK* TOLD YOU TO ASK ME THAT? *EVERYONE* HERE KNOWS MY DAD DOESN'T HAVE ANY ARMS!"** Kid seriously looked like he was going to start sobbing. They ended up firing him about 3 days later, because he kept destroying laptops when putting them back together. In retrospect, it was a pretty mean thing to do to someone. | Got the new guy to ask another coworker how many pushups his dad could do, then had said coworker go off on him and convince him that his dad was an amputee. |
t3_4km6sr | relationships | Me [29F] can't get turned on with my fiance [28 M] | My fiance and I haven't had sex in almost a year. Has nothing to do with him not wanting it, he does, all the time, but has to do with how he stopped turning me on. He's 29 yet acts like a child sometimes with his farting habits. He'll fart on me, around me, walk the in bathroom while I'm showering and fart, and just stink up the room all the time and doesn't see anything wrong with it. He blames it on drinking (which he drinks just about every night so use ur imagination), but continues to drink heavily anyway. He's a rather in shape guy but now he has this aroma around him almost always. It's disgusting and I am turned off by him now.
On top of that he's one of those guys that things I like, whether it be shows or games or whatever, he has to belittle it with me. He was in the military so to him I am a civilian who doesn't understand the meaning of work and working hard, no matter what I do. And he only believes something if he sees it. Once again, this constant behavior is a turnoff for me.
Now I know what you guys will tell me, communicate with him. I have been! Past year I've been open and honest telling him, and he'll last MAYBE a day before going right back to his habits and tell me he shouldn't have to change for anyone. Do I have a sex drive? Yup, I pleasure myself almost daily. But he gets angry about not having sex often and just in general gets angry. I give him handjobs often enough, but it's not sex which is what he wants.
My question is how do I get him to change his ways and to understand his behavior is unacceptable?? He's of the mindset that I'm the only girl who doesn't like 'farts' and that I need to stop being a bitch. Wtf do I do here? | No sex in a year, fiance won't stop farting/belitting me, doesn't understand why I don't get turned on |
t3_31r7ia | relationship_advice | My [32f] bf [36m] said he didn't know where we would be in 5 years. Time to break up? | My BF and I have been dating about 6 months and things are going great. So great, in fact, that as a joke I said last night 'Where do you see us in 5 years?' He said back to me 'I don't know where do you see us in 2 months, because I honestly can't see that far into the future'
In hindsight I'm wondering what it all means. He's constantly making comments and asking me if I am ready to be his future wife, making comments about the wedding he intends to have, how our kids will look, etc. So I am beside myself that he said anything other than 'with you, married and with kids'.
One more thing--We've been friends for over 5 years, and he knew my ex that I had a long term relationship and that the reason we broke up was because he didn't want to get married and I did. He was always the one saying 'There are men out there who will marry you in a heartbeat'.....and I guess I thought he meant himself but maybe not? | BF has no idea where our totally awesome relationship is headed. I know I want to get married and have kids. Looking for insight. |
t3_2cocxj | relationships | I [18 F] always end up with crushes and infatuations while in a relationship. What gives? | For the most part, I am happy in my relationships but I always end interested in someone else. Sometimes I even end up thinking of what it'd be like if I broke up with my current boyfriend and ended up dating the other person.
It always starts when the other person starts showing a bit of interest. I've never crushed on someone while in a relationship if they didn't show at least some signs of interest.
Could it be I just enjoy the attention? If so, why imagine what it'd be like in a relationship with them?
I always end up feeling horrible as I don't want to lead anyone on and I don't want to end a good relationship that has seemingly no big issue.
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost four months now and this other friend started getting a bit flirty a couple of nights ago. He's stopped now that I said that I have a boyfriend. I'm extremely happy with my current boyfriend and he treats me beyond amazing. Even so, I still keep thinking "what if".
Anyone know why and how I could stop these feelings? Is anyone the same?
Even though I've never acted on these feelings, I feel so selfish for having them and I don't want to hurt anyone :( | I always end up with crushes and infatuations while in a relationship. It sucks. How do I stop? |
t3_3ft1kw | relationships | Me [28 M] with my GF [26 M/F] of 15 months, How long should I tolerate her request for little to no contact before I break up with her? | So a little over a week ago my gf became super distant out of nowhere, and said that she needs to think about her long term deal breakers when it comes to our relationship. It's been a week of me giving her space and pretty much no contact besides her responding to a text every couple days or so. I'm not sure how long I should give her before I break up with her. I'm guessing one week of this isn't long enough end a 15 month relationship, but I'm not exactly sure where to draw the line going forward. I have a feeling I will get some responses along the lines of "There's no right answer, it's entirely up to you" but I'm kind of curious how long you guys would wait before calling it off, just so I can have some perspective. Thanks in advance. | There's been a week of little to no contact between me and my gf while she reconsiders our relationship, how long should I give her until I break up with her? |
t3_mfdyt | AskReddit | What is a corporation's obligation to raises/promotions? | So earlier (almost 6 months) in the year, I completed a certification that is a guaranteed promotion. (2 pay grades) Basic, Advanced, and Master. I completed my Advanced, was promised a raise (its just common knowledge) and like 3-4 months later after continuous, oh it should update on the next check, they finally changed my job code to reflect it. I still haven't had a change in pay. Also I was told from multiple people that (aside from getting a raise) that it would be dated to when I got my promotion.
Now after a 8 1/2 hour shift (no break, as there is rarely time for one ever) I am told they dont think there is a raise involved, and that if there is they would not date it like I was told before.
I'm happy to have a job and all but it was like a kick in the face.. I work my ass off for them. | Got a certification that changes my job code up by 2 pay grades, 6 months later still haven't got a change in pay and they are refusing to give me back pay. |
t3_1rvoaw | relationships | Me [24f] with my [23m] 3 years. He dumped me but now wants me to prove myself? | Title says most. 24f with 23m in a long distance relationship for a year but together for 3.
He dumped me due to distance. Well first he faded out and ignored me. When I kept confronting him he broke up with me after weeks of BS. I took it hard but started the healing process. About 2 weeks later, he changed his mind but not in the way I hoped.
He told me that if I move there in my own place and close the distance then he will take me back. My friends think this is preposterous. Plus I cant afford it myself. He wants to come see me so we should talk. Should I see him or go NC? He said if I dont then were over for good. Distance was the issue in our relationship. | he broke it off because of distance but changed his mind and now wants me to fix it so we can be together. |
t3_30d62h | tifu | TIFU by getting the number of a girl at the bar | So me and a group my friends (We're all University students) went to the bar last night. I went in with a pretty relaxed mindset, wasn't really looking to meet anyone. (Just wasn't in that kind of mood that night....) Until... This gorgeous girl comes onto me. We start talking. I buy her a drink. We talk some more. We were going in the right direction. We even kissed several times. (Which she initiated). We're both drunk, so this wasn't any deal sealer. So after getting her number, I decided to save it in my phone... but drunk me put it in my notes app. So a few minutes later I asked her to put her contact info in my phone. (This way, I have her name spelled correctly. I'm an awful speller drunk, and I didn't want to mess it up in the future by calling the wrong name)
So, she puts her contact info into my Contacts app, and what so you know? This is where the TIFU comes in... MY CONTACTS APP CRASHED.
For the first time ever! my contacts app crashed on my phone! Her number was not saved in my phone anymore. I freaked out for a few seconds, but I remembered I had her number saved in my notes app. Now I have a nameless phone # to a gorgeous lady. | Got number of beautiful lady at the bar, as she's putting her info into my phone, the app crashed so nothing was saved. |
t3_2z0szf | relationships | I [18M] ran into my recent ex [18F] on the beach for spring break. I'm now confused about her actions now that she's back home. | I'm a senior in high school, so obviously the answer may just be "most girls and guys have no idea what they're doing at that age."
It's just, a couple weeks ago my gf of 1 year and 4 months or so broke up with me, and I was going to the beach with my friends to try and get over it. Well, surprisingly she showed up as well (she hates the beach), and we strolled along the beach and talked for the first time since the breakup. She made sure to tell me how one of our mutual friends tried making moves on her. She clearly emphasized how this whole thing wasn't her scene and she was taken aback by all the debauchery and she "was just here to say she experienced it."
So, now that she's home, she's posting on social media talking about how great it was and how it was such a blast, and now she insists on not talking to me.
Why? I can't shake the feeling she's not living for herself, but instead living for her own persona/image. | don't understand a certain girl, and as I can't talk to her at the moment, I'm asking other people in an effort to understand. |
t3_44qqvy | relationships | Me [30 F] with my friend [27 M]... Something happened that should not have... HELP!!!! | I screwed up. I am staying with some family friends and will be here for quite a while. Anyway, I am very close with their 27 yr old son, we are really, really good friends. We spent a lot of time together in the last 3 months, and I guess to some degree it is natural for there to be some attraction. Unfortunately, I got incredibly drunk over the weekend, and I made out with him. I initiated it, apparently pretty aggressively. I just want to die now. Maybe I am posting this to vent a little bit and also see if you have any advice on how to get through this. We talked about it, I think he is really excited about this potentially turning into something, but I am just scared because deep down I know that unless this is something really huge, like love of my life type of deal, it is not worth continuing. I explained this to him, and that's fine, but the pit in my stomach won't go away. I am so afraid to hurt him, and even though this was a one time thing, somehow I feel like it's more than that on his end. Now I feel so guilty about the situation, and like I need to get out of here soon... I guess what I am asking is, is there any way I can undo some of this damage?? | Made out with friend (at whose house I am living). He wants this to go further, and I don't. I feel SO GUILTY... How to undo the damage?? |
t3_19m5h0 | relationships | Girlfriend (25F) and I (22M) went out to a bar with coworkers. GF was grabbing coworkers asses and scratching their backs. | So my girlfriend of almost two years and I went out to a small bar early this afternoon. We met up with two of my guy coworkers, and one of their female friends. The entire time we were there, she was distant and didn't sit/stand next to me, and towards the end of the night (the last hour we were there), one of my coworkers and I started playing some arcade game for competition. She was rubbing my back and grabbing my ass, and when I glanced behind me, she was doing it to both of us. I didn't know how to react, so I brushed it off at first. Afterwards, my other coworker took my spot, and when I walked off to pee, she was grabbing and rubbing both of their asses. I was a little floored at first, so I grabbed her hands and pulled them to me. She then kept trying to get me to grab their asses, but I wouldn't. After they left, she was admittedly drunk and wouldn't let me drive her home. I didn't bring up how I felt because I knew irrational drunk GF wouldn't respond well to attacks, so I just made sure she got home safely, and went my way.
I feel disrespected and ashamed. I text one of my coworkers (who is one of my good friends/the main one she was feeling up) and he said he was sorry and tried to leave as soon as he could without making a fuss about it. I told him not to worry, and that he wasn't responsible for her behavior.
It worries me that she was doing this while I was there... I can only imagine what she is doing when I'm not. I will have to wait until tomorrow to bring this subject up, but I'm at a loss for how to bring it up to her... | Girlfriend felt up coworkers while we were at a bar, I feel disrespected. Need advice how to tell her how I feel, and let her know what she did was not okay |
t3_1gd2jk | self | I absolutely loathe my English teacher. | So I'm doing this paper for my CPT (Culminating Performance Task) in English, worth 10% of my final mark. I write the paper, knowingly taking bits and pieces out of a Wikipedia page, but, being unable to cite Wikipedia (apparently it's not reliable enough), stupid me decided not to cite it at all. I handed it in on Monday.
My theory is that he stumbled across the term [*iceberg theory*] for which I didn't cite, and went on from there. He found the *exact* same words I used, highlighted them on my paper and gave it back to me yesterday like this:
I redid the paper last night, eliminating traces of the highlighted segments. I handed it in this morning and he says
> You plagiarized your *entire* essay. If you do that in university, they'll throw you out.
and that he can't accept it, which effectively gives me a 0 for the CPT and indicates that I haven't finished the course. I'm sure the other teachers would only take a couple marks off for plagiarism, but this one gives a 0. It doesn't make sense to me.
I need to get a 70% for my final mark to retain my admission to university, My term mark of 69% accounts for 70% of my final mark, the CPT 10% and the final exam 20%, so my final mark becomes
(69 × 0.70) = 49 + whatever my mark on the exam is.
For that mark to become a 70, I need to get a perfect score on the final exam. And while I am confident that I'll do well on the final exam, he doesn't mark as ~~well~~ generously as my other English teachers did. ><
I redid the paper again, distancing it more from the original. (Hopefully.) I plan to go back to him on Monday and resubmit the new paper, and I have a feeling I know how he would react. | I plagiarized (I know I shouldn't have), teacher found out, gave me a 0. I redid the paper, he won't take it. |
t3_3vp62t | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [17M], he confided in one of his female friends [25F] instead of me | My boyfriend and I usually don't have an issue with sharing our feelings and communicating with each other, but something happened in his life recently that he vented about to one of his female friends instead of me. He admits to me that he's not open with his feelings to people, and that I'm someone who has "cracked his shell".
I'm in my first year of college and he's still in high school. Two nights ago, he told me he was officially dropping out of high school. When I asked why, he told me "cuz it would be fun", which was such a bullshit response to hear. I told him I'm always here for him and that I've accepted him throughout our relationship (he has a lot of stuff from his past he's told me about). He ended up going to bed and not telling me what's really going on, but he said he told his female friend he met online 5 years ago everything. He said he feels ashamed and that's why he's not telling me.
It might be worth mentioning we've been fighting quite a bit over the past few days and both of us have overreacted to things the other has said, but we haven't argued about anything in the past 48 hours or so.
I understand his feeling of shame for not wanting to tell me, but it still hurts knowing that he felt like he could confide in someone else instead of me first. I'm not sure how I can express these feelings or if I even should, or how to go about with this situation. I feel like he doesn't think he can talk to me about things anymore because of our fighting. | boyfriend confided in his female friend about his reasons for dropping out of high school instead of me, he refuses to tell me because he feels ashamed but I'm also hurt he decided to confide in his friend instead of me first. |
t3_4mim0j | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] one year, we're both virgins, and I am afraid of having sex with her. | So I grew up in an extremely religious family. Never had sex before, and believe it or not, I ever so rarely watched porn. I think my sexual libido is like the minimum.
Anyway started a relationship with an awesome girl about a year ago and its going great. She's from a very similar culture (that's how we met), so I'm sure she's a virgin too.
As our relationship progresses, we started even talking about getting engaged to each other. I love her more than anyone and would want to please her and spend the rest of my life with her, but I am extremely afraid of sex.
The thing is, I'm not sure if I am able to have sex with anyone. This might be funny or shocking to most people, but its extremely worrying for me. What if I never get an erection? What if she thinks I don't find her hot? I'm not sure how an inexperienced girl like her would get me erected, specially since no other person was able to (no one tried lol).
I think there is something wrong with me, I just don't have an urge for sexual stuff, maybe because I never had any experience, maybe because I'm afraid I'll fail (or not do good, or simply not have an erection during) or maybe because I'm sick in another way. Even watching porn doesn't get me that excited honestly. I've never looked at a woman (or a man) and thought "I wish I can fuck that". It just seems the furthest thing from my mind.
I'm now in a time in my relationship where we should be doing some physical stuff, my girl friend is shyly hitting to it and I'm just postponing because I'm scared shitless.
I have no idea what I should do. Just go all in and try to have sex? What happens if I cant get it up?
Or should I talk to a doctor? or something? | Never had sexual experience before. Want to have sexual experience now, afraid shitless that I will not get an erection and be terrible. |
t3_2wj8rk | relationships | I [19F] met this guy [28m] around christmas time in an airport hotel and we kept in contact, now wants to fly me out to his home?? | Sorry if this is a rambley, first time posting and all that shit, i just wanna known from a party that isnt me or someone close to me what to think?
So I met this guy when we stayed at the same airport hotel, he was going to visit his family, and i was on my way home after a year away. not relevant but whatever. we didnt hook up or anything, i saw him in the morning too and we had a drink at a bar in the airport and chatted about coming to visit each other as we both love travelling and i learnt he thought i was like 25, i corrected him and that was fine. we exchanged contact details and got on our flights.
we kept in contact through skype which was nice and still talked about coming to see each other's home countries, I'm just a student so i need to save up before i can even consider another holiday! Recently he told me he wants to pay for my flights to come see him in july/august and stay in his home which is a lovely idea but im worried, I would be coming from australia to the US to stay with someone i barely know and with no one else in the country i could turn to if there was trouble.
I also dont like thinking this but why?? does he have ulterior motives? he is an engineer and is about to buy a house, why cant he get a girlfriend when he is an attractive confident well off man? what does he want me for? I know he expects sex, which is fine. | a 27 yr old man wants to fly me 19 F from aussie to the us, and i dont know what to think |
t3_4y13fa | relationships | [College] Trying to convince my parents [40] to let me [17] dorm in college next year | Hello r/relationships ,
I'll try to make this simple and straight to the point; I want to dorm in college next year (either only for my freshman or senior year), despite my parents not wanting me to because of my diabetes.
My parents concern is that on the occasion, my blood sugar drops *very* low and as a result I have a seizure. Now these are not common (maybe one every 3-4 months, only one in my 10 years of being a diabetic was severe; I treat myself during my seizures because they are that mild).
My parents talked to my endocrynologist about this and they have over dramatized the severity of my seizures to her, so now my endo wants me to commute to college as well.
I would really want to dorm for at least one year in university because I want to experience the complete independence factor for once in my life before I inevitably move out from my parents home, as well as the experience (new people, room mates, etc.)
If you guys could give me your thoughts and opinions, it would be greatly appreciated. | I want to go and dorm in college for one year but my parents won't let me due to hypoglycemic seizures that rarely happen |
t3_2cig9t | tifu | TIFU by sliding down the railing at my school | This happened a year or two ago.
So one night I was volunteering at my school for something. I don't really remember what for, I just remember there was minimal supervision. Now to get down to the cafeteria you have to trudge down this relatively large flight of stairs. It had maybe 30 steps, but it wasn't necessarily high so much as it was long.
So after putting away my iPod Touch in my jeans pocket, I'm told I need to go fetch something out of the cafeteria. I was kind of tired at this point so I had the bright idea to slide down the beautifully slick railing that divided the staircase in half. Now, understand that I'm not very graceful as I am now. I was about half as graceful then. So about a quarter of the way down I lose my balance and fall onto the right side of my body. I hit my head pretty hard so all I'm thinking about is the massive headache I'm going to have.
Although my head hurt I couldn't exactly admit my stupidity so I continued on, found what I was looking for, and proceeded to work in moderate pain until I was dismissed. So I hop into my mother's car and go to pull my iPod Touch out. That's weird, it kind of hurt when I put my hand in my pocket. Oh well. So I pull what used to be my iPod out only to find a mess of shattered glass. It was destroyed. Like it wouldn't even turn on. Well, fuck, there goes $250. Then I get home and go take a shower only to find some of that shattered glass in my upper thigh. | Tried sliding down stairs, fell off like the inelegant fuck that I am, got headache, broken iPod, and shattered glass in my leg |
t3_13tzu5 | AskReddit | Reddit, I just got "Played" hard by this guy.. How have you been fucked over? | I guess I should probably tell the story, lol. okay so it started like we were texting cute things, and what not.. & he made me feel really good about myself.. he said all of the right things, blah blah.. & he started to change.. so one night, we're texting & he asks for a picture & I say no.. He gets mad & tells me that it'll make him happy & that if I love him, that I'd send the picture.. so I did. & then he went back to his sweet self.. I had told him a lot of things I've never told anyone. He told me, that if I didn't send him pictures, He'd tell everyone about my recent abortion being true & that he'd spread all of the pictures I sent him.. | Boy was sweet at first, asked for nudes, got denied, got pissed off, & threatened to spread the word everywhere. |
t3_m4011 | AskReddit | Reddit, How do I become less socially awkward? | Just a little backstory:
I'm currently a 19 year old male college freshman living in a school residence somewhere in Ontario, Canada. School has been in session for the past 10 weeks, and it isn't quite exactly what I expected.
Since I can remember and until I was in about grade 3, I was really shy. I didn't have a lot of friends growing up because of this. At the time it was great, I kept a small group of friends that I could actually rely on 24/7 and that was it.
I have never been to a doctor before, talked to a psychologist, or even any other family members about this before in my life. I am not usually one to talk about my personal life with people, even family members. But I have always been depressed about life in general. I won't go into detail, but some days I get pretty down about life and others I am pretty happy. Of course the happy moments are heavily outweighed by my saddening thoughts of everything around me. But I go on with my life, and I have been since this "depression" hit me about 10 years ago.
There are 2 clear distinctions for my moods.
**Happy**
I have a lot of energy, motivation, public speaking is no problem. I can talk to anybody and keep decent conversation. Takes time to actually look good -- ALL DAY.
**Sad**
Not a lot of energy, Sleepiness, will converse with people but don't really know how. Puts on whatever clothes that I want, and "basement dwell".
The latter of those 2 moods happens I would say about 90% of the time. Recently I have been getting into avid marijuana use because it is able to make me happy, and explore life. It makes me want to read books, go meet people, and have a good time. Unfortunately it is illegal, frowned upon, and can get me kicked out of school. | How do I become less socially awkward while battling "moods" without having to use drugs. I also want to get laid. HEY-OHH |
t3_2pys9u | relationships | May have just lost something amazing because of fear of it actually working out. | Today me (31M) broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months after the best period in our relationship, we have never fought, never had conflict, but what we did have was an intruding age difference. She is a lot younger then me (20F). I consider myself a very youthful looking 31 (solid hairline, no crows feet, good skin) and she can look any age she wants, but there was always a pressure on us that it was supposed to fail purely because of this. At first I believed it and I never wanted to have any interest in her, I told her outright that there was no chance of anything happening between us - but she got into my mind and my soul. But after I found a suspicious text on her phone, she broke down and said that she had feelings for someone else and that she thought it would just be easier for her to date someone her own age and not feel inferior to my life experience. After all the yelling and the tears we were over. She had become my best friend and because I'm not younger or she isn't older, our solid relationship fell apart for no real reason other then we were expecting it to. In the time we were together she went from this wild child with an eating disorder to now a full on booking network actress with wit and an incredible sharpness. She said that she felt she was always the kid because she had so many questions... This breaks my heart. She's my best friend. I'm lost without her and its literally a set of numbers that has pushed us apart. | M31 and F20 break up because they think the odds are stacked against them so high, why not just end it now. How do you fight for something that the world wouldn't approve of? |
t3_jge8u | AskReddit | Reddit, what are some crazy things that have happened to you at school? | I will begin.
I am a good student, good grade, etc... I don't have a ton of friends (as in I'm not super popular) but I don't really have any people I don't get along with either. I am totally average in social terms.
So, in grade 9, just a few weeks into second semester, I'm coming down the stairs toward my locker and I see that there's crap all over the hallway floor. (Books, paper, etc) I look up and I see my locker is open. It's my stuff. I instantly conclude that all my valuable stuff is stolen (I had my iPod and my Phone in my locker at the time). I gather up my scattered stuff and then search my locker.
I find my iPod... and my phone. Intense confusion ensues, to say the least. I'm frantically searching, and it does not appear that the culprit stole anything.
My next subject is french, so I go to get my binder and get on with my day, when I notice... my french binder is gone.
Oh well, might as well just explain it, they can't very well punish me for something that I couldn't control. I go to close my locker... and my lock is gone.
They took my french binder and my lock. What the fuck, school.
So, go to the office, explain what happened, get a new lock. Twenty minutes late for french. Get new french binder, continue with life.
Three weeks later, find locker open, shit scattered all around the hallway. No sign of french binder or lock. | Thieves at my school broke into my locker for no reason and stole my french binder and my lock, whilst leaving iPod and phone alone. Twice. |
t3_23a6qn | relationships | I [25F] seem to be finding flaws in my [26M] boyfriend for no reason? | We've been dating for about six months and don't see each other very often because of distance. I promise I am not a huge asshole, despite what this post is going to make me sound like. It might be relevant to note that I have an obsessive/anxiety disorder. I had also recently gotten out of a four year relationship and was maybe a little looking forward to dating around when I happened to meet my current boyfriend.
Lately I find myself focusing on every little tiny negative aspect of his character to the point where I'm worried something is wrong with me. For instance, his dental hygiene is slightly bad, but nothing too terrible. I find myself focusing on it pretty often. He also is kind of a pushover and I find him TOO romantic. I think we might've said "I love you" too fast for my liking (I guess this means I am not 100% sure of my feelings). I can't tell if I am just looking for stupid things to justify breaking up, or if this is normal. Any advice? I feel like I am sabotaging myself for no reason. My brain is constantly making me question what it is like to "like" someone and if I really "like" him?
He is really sweet and good-looking and we get along fine. We could definitely have a long future together. | I am constantly focusing on my boyfriend's negative characteristics for seemingly no good reason. Am I doing this subconsciously? Does this mean we should break up? What is wrong with me. |
t3_1dtdr2 | relationships | How do I (22m) get my girlfriend's (21f) confidence and self-esteem up? | I've seen a lot of good advice on this subreddit, so hopefully you guys can help me out too.
I have been with my girlfriend for over 3 and a half years. I knew she had self-esteem issues from the start, but I hoped to remedy that problem after being with her for quite some time. She was an athlete in high school, weighing about 110-ish pounds, being 5'2". Now we're going into our final year of college, she's probably around the 120-125 pound range, which is still nothing. Besides, I think it went to all the right places, haha. This girl is gorgeous. I'm not just saying that because I feel obligated, but everyone else thinks so too. I can't even leave her for 5 minutes when we go out and I leave to buy us drinks, because there will be another guy chatting her up and trying to put a move on her.
Her father wasn't exactly the nicest guy, and although he is out the picture now, him calling her fat when she was younger, even during the high school years, took a toll on her and her brother. Her mom, being the complete opposite, always called her kids beautiful and tried to counteract, but the years of damage done by her father overpowered it, I guess. So, I'm pretty positive that that's where the root of the problem is.
Basically, I have done every possible thing I can think of to prove it to her. She knows I think she's beautiful, and that she's a great person. But she refuses to admit that about herself. This isn't one of those "Oh my god, I'm sooooooooo ugly, give me attention." sort of things that some people do, you'll have to trust me on that one. She constantly feels like she's not good enough for me, which is wrong. We're in a happy relationship, my self esteem is fine, but hers isn't.
Is there anything any of you could recommend to me on what to do? Thanks in advance. | Girlfriend's self-esteem issues stem from verbal and psychological abuse from her father as a child, need to find a way to boost her confidence and self-esteem. |
t3_ydvwl | AskReddit | How did Discount car rentals screw me so royally?! Please help! | Hello world of Reddit, and particularly CAR RENTAL AGENTS!!! I need some feedback before I attempt to call Discount Car Rentals to discuss the issue, I wanna have my knowledge guns loaded before I go in there blazing.
First of all I'm in Canada.
Backstory: rented a Ford Fusion last weekend to go camping out of town. Rental was for 2 days, came to $91 and change for 4000kms, just had to fill up the gas tank before return, salesperson said that's it and that's all, you'll only be charged extra if you go over the kms, (which I certainly didn't do) enjoy your weekend, goodbye.
So I paid the $91 and change which covered basic insurance, 4000kms and paid the $400 deposit which they said would be credited back to my card early this week. Just checked my account, Discount charged me $271.00 !!!!!
**WTF?!** $271.00 > $91.99 What could I have possibly been charged for?! We didn't smoke in the car, that's the only thing I could think of. | Discount said pay me $91 for a rental, checked my Credit Card and they charged me $271.00 !!! WTF?! |
t3_1hq94t | relationship_advice | I [20/m] can't seem to get off when my girlfriend (19/f) gives me oral. | Right off the bat, please understand that my girlfriend and I are waiting to have actual vaginal sex, but we're okay with just about anything else.
That being said, we've been dating about 3 months and have started to give each other oral/hand stuff. I'm completely new to this, but I'm a fast learner.
I've been able to get her to orgasm just fine, but even when she gives me the most incredible blow jobs, I can't finish. I'm worried she will start to think she's not doing a good enough job and get self-conscious. They're awesome, I just can't get off.
I've decided to try /r/nofap so we'll see if that works, but does anybody have any other advice? | I started receiving oral sex for the first time, and it's great, but I can't see to finish. Help? |
t3_3d200c | relationships | Me[19F] with my boyfriend[23M] of a year; I've been going through some serious health problems and all my boyfriend can focus on is his career | I realise the title makes me sound like a massive arsewipe, so I'll explain
My boyfriend is a race driver - not like F1 or IndyCar level, but if you're into the US/UK motorsport scene you'd probably recognise him. Naturally, he spends a lot of time training/racing and stuff and I understand that his race career comes before our relationship for him.
He's just had a very successful weekend with back to back wins, however, at the same time, some ultrasound results came back and I've not only been told that I have a large lump/possible cyst on my ovaries and uterus, but that I may also have endometriosis. I've spent a lot of the past three months in serious pain, so I felt like I should tell him about these results (ovarian and uterine cancer runs in my family, so this is a major concern).
After I told him, my boyfriend told me that I was being 'unreasonable' and 'pathetic' for crying in our hotel room and refusing to go down to a team dinner - yes, this was selfish I'll admit it, but I really needed to be alone - and then he decided to shout at me for ruining his weekend with this news. This carried on for most of the time we were at the race meet; I would get emotional for 'no reason', he'd yell, I'd apologise later for 'being a moody bitch' (his words not mine) and so on until on the last day he decided to tell me that he didn't want me to come along to any more race weekends.
I really don't know if I'm being too demanding or attention seeking about all this. His next race isn't for about 3 weeks, and I'm not going to be in the country for it so being there isn't an issue, but I'm at a loss for how to deal with this news, and also respect his career. I don't want to be the demanding girlfriend that forces someone to throw their life away, but I really really need support right now, and I'm just not getting it. | boyfriend is a race driver, I (might) have a tumor, he doesn't seem to care and thinks I'm just out to shit on his success and has banned me from going to any of his race weekends. |
t3_4ins5e | relationships | I [20F] recently broke up with my boyfriend [20 M] and feel terrible | This was both our first relationship and we met our 2nd year of college. Things were going well and he was super sweet. I couldn't have asked for a kinder, sweeter, more loving boyfriend.
However, going into the relationship we didn't know much about each other. We had only been talking for 2 weeks and he asked me to be his girlfriend after I came over his house a couple times. I started to get to know him more and felt that I really did love him. But the past 2 months (our relationship was 5 months) I started to notice things that bothered me more and things I didn't like about his personality. I just felt that overall he still had some maturing to do. Even though he was very sweet, I felt that I was missing something.
Even though I was the one to end it, I'm sort of regretting it. I care about him but I'm not in love with him. But, it feels like I won't find someone who loves me as much as he did. And I feel like a terrible person for breaking up with such a kindhearted person. However it felt wrong to be with someone who clearly was more serious than I was about them.
He said he would still like to be friends and talk to each other. I'm not sure if this ever really works. I'm not sure whether I should try to be friends with him and/or try to move on even though I don't think I'm ready yet. | Overall I just feel really awful for hurting him and don't feel very good about myself. How do I get over feeling this way and move on from this? |
t3_375m14 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] 7 months, kept her waiting for me all night | She lives about 45 minutes away from me. She's been working like crazy these days and has been having a rough time with school. We don't see each other as often as we'd like so when we do we try and make the most of it.
Last night my friend had a birthday party supper that she had invited me and my girlfriend to. Afterwards they were meeting other people at the bar. Some other friends who I had also not seen in a while were already there. My girlfriend had worked all day and didn't really want to go out so I gave her the key to my apartment and told her I would be back in an hour. I get to the bar and my friend buys me a beer and tells me to get the next one. I told him I wasn't planning on staying too long but I'll stay for at least a little while.
I ended up getting pretty drunk and getting back at 4 in the morning. This morning she left without saying goodbye and seemed upset but I didn't think much of it. Tonight I called her on facetime like we normally do and she didn't respond to the funny face I usually make at the beginning.
I start talking about mundane things that happened in my day for a few seconds before telling her that I feel bad for ditching her last night. She was extremely upset. She was disappointed that I would lie to her and not come back after an hour like I had said. She said she doesn't know if she could see me the same way anymore. She had stayed up until 1 in the morning waiting for me. I didn't even realize that she would be up waiting. I was selfish and figured she went to bed so I didn't even text her goodnight.
I know it's cliche but this girl is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. She doesn't deserve to be treated this way. Other than not doing it again, how do I make it up to her? I'm thinking of getting to her house tomorrow and waiting for her to get back from work. I figure if I surprise her it would be the opposite of her waiting for me and me never showing up. | Told my girlfriend I would be back in an hour, she waited for me all night only for me to show up drunk at 4 in the morning |
t3_2pv2at | jobs | Need ideas for where to apply | Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting, ever. So I graduated from my university as of this morning and I'm a Management major(Bachelor's). I plan on working for a year or two then going back for a Master's in Finance. I've applied for several firms and jobs on my school's career site in addition to others, but I think I've hit a bit of a wall now in terms of my qualifications and the jobs I can apply to(I can PM a resume for those curious). I can realistically relocate anywhere in the US or even abroad, but I would prefer to stay in the States.
So I've applied to companies such as Google, Delta, Coca-Cola, MWV, Apple, Amazon, so on and so forth. The biggest thing I'm looking for is growth potential and culture of the company. I don't necessarily care so much about the pay, but I definitely care if the job isn't going to help me in the future or if I'm going to hate going to work there every day. | I would appreciate some insight on what companies to apply for that have good growth potential and culture that I would be a good fit for as a Business Management major. |
t3_3tzy7p | relationships | My [26/F] boyfriend [26 M] fixed the problem, but does it even matter? Is there permanent damage? | I have been experiencing problems with my boyfriend of one year. For the most part, my problem was that he was not making me feel loved or appreciated anymore. He stopped dating me, basically. He no longer made time for me and when he did, he was always trying to rush through hanging out with me so that he could get to other things (usually videogames). I also noticed him losing interest in the things that excited me, but going out of his way to learn about or participate in the things his other female friends were in to.
One thing that really upset me was when I was out of town working for a month. I sent him a gift in the mail and told him what day he should expect it in the mail. He forgot to check, which was a bummer because I thought he would be excited about it. I reminded him and he forgot again. This happened for several days. When he finally did remember, he picked it up and played videogames for hours before even texting me a thank you. Other things bothered me too, like him leaving me out of news about major milestones in his life (but sharing it with others).
I expressed my feelings to him quite a few times. Finally, after a massive blow out (and brief breakup lasting less than a few hours) he has made a noticeable change. He is really putting in effort and I do appreciate it. He tells me I am the one and that he doesn't want to lose me, but I am having trouble moving past how badly he hurt me. If he cares about me so much why would I have to nearly leave him for him to snap back to it and remember he wants to be with me? Every time I remember all of the things he did in the past I feel so sad and while I appreciate the changes he has made I feel like I can't get over it or ever stop feeling sad about how he treated me. | Boyfriend did several things to make me feel like he stopped caring. After a massive fight that resulted in me almost leaving, he finally made a change. At this point I don't know if it matters anymore. |
t3_1k95xt | relationships | I [23 M] am considering dating my long-time friend [22 F] but am too concerned with what my ex [24 F] will think. | I've been friends with this girl for over 2 years now. She has liked me the whole time. We've had sex a few times, but I've always told her that I wasn't ready for a relationship. She's a great girl, not the most attractive, but not ugly and we have a lot in common and I have come to the realization that I actually miss her when she's away, which is more than I've felt for another person in a long time. I've been thinking about finally sucking it up and committing myself to her.
The sticky aspect of it is, I know my ex wouldn't approve. Her and I dated for 5 years and I still kind of have feelings for her that I know won't ever come to fruition. Despite all that, and maybe because of it, she's my best friend and I value her input. She thinks the girl I'm thinking about dating is ugly and immature and has already given me shit for admitting to having sex with this girl.
I know I shouldn't value her advice or opinions so much, but I do. I need some advice. Should I just see what happens with this girl I'm thinking about dating, or should I spare her because I've obviously got some unresolved issues with an ex? How do I let go of these feelings that are doing nothing but hurting me and any possible relationships I might have? | I might have something promising going for me with a girl, but I'm too concerned about what my ex, who also happens to be my best friend, might think. |
t3_50f2t7 | Advice | Guidance Counselor Thinks I'm Rude Because He Failed To Pay For My Uniform As He Promised | Long story short, before the school year ended, my guidance counselor (Boom) promised that HE will pay for my uniform since I come from a low income family. Says don't worry about it and come a few times in the middle of the summer to pick up my uniform.
I came a few times. He said the secretary (Jane) will have the uniform. Jane had no clue what I was talking about. Jane says email Boom and my new teacher (Kate) to see what's going on. I emailed and called Kate and she says she has no clue however, multiple students have been saying the same thing and we need our uniform before school starts (she technically said July 1st on the paper but hey. It's mid August by now, school in two weeks, takes two-three weeks for uniforms and embroideries to finish) or we will be sent home.
Boom disappears for weeks. Suddenly messages me back saying A WHOLE DIFFERENT COUNSELOR (Dildo) is in charge. By this time, I was forced to come out of pocket ($48.78) for my uniform and idk about you but my mom can't dish out $40+ on the drop of the dime so I had to beg and borrow. I didn't even tell my mom.
So I email Boom back and said nice but nasty that I have not heard anything for weeks and I had no other choice but to purchase my own uniform. I stated to tell Dildo thank you, but no thank you.
First day of school comes, and at 6 something in the morning (yes my school starts at six) Jane comes up to me and says Boom thinks I was rude due to my last email and she agrees. Not acknowledging the fact that he fucked up.
My question to you Reddit is do you think I was rude and right to be aggravated and slightly aggressive, or no? | Guidance counselor promised one thing, didn't come through, and is salty because I was slightly aggressive with handling the situation |
t3_1kqrya | relationship_advice | I (20)was causally seeing a guy (44) but he recently disappeared on me? | I met an guy, he was twice my age recently divorce but i still gave him a chance. He seemed nice and always told me he was interested in me. Through text he expressed deep interest and how no one made him feel this way in a while. I might add that we did met on a dating website.
He would text me day and night as soon as I wake up I will see a text then out of no where he stopped. I'm not gullible so I didn't fall too deep for him and his kind words. I had my guard up the whole time because 1. I found it iffy that he liked despite my age and I lacked so much experience 2. He never remembered anything i told him or he told me, told me the same story twice. 3. Never asked me deep questions trivial shit.
I didn't grow attached to him but we made out a few times and did other things it never lead to sex though. He appeared to be a nice guy and looked great too but lucky my intuition told me to give my all or go away with him.
I however was going to keep seeing him hoping it would develop. I'm not hurt or anything but i am wondering why he just disappeared, he even deleted his profile. I knew from the start it wouldn't last due to age difference and other things but i figured since he expressed liking me so much that he wouldn't do this.
I'm just looking for some insight and whether should I contact him. I would contact him by expressing I'm fine with him no longer wanting to see me but can you gave me explanation instead of playing half your age games with someone half your age. I would figure your man and old enough to not behavior in this manner. I'm young but I'm not dumb I see through you. I'm sorry I just ranted haha. | Met a guy twice my age. He show deep interest brought me things made me dinner even wanted to go away with me but out of no where he disappeared. |
t3_2hxp57 | relationships | Me [23 f] with my bf [23 m] having issues due to my deteriorating memory. | I have always had a terrible memory but it's getting worse. Recently I have no recollection of full days at a time.
This last week has been the worst, I swapped shifts with a friend in work and completely forgot even agreeing to it and didn't show. I didn't even believe them until I saw the emails and my manager confirmed we discussed it for about 15 minutes because I was adamant I needed a certain day off. I have no idea what for either. I don't remember yesterday at work at all until I was asked to finish something I started, again I don't remember starting it.
My partner is stressed out and thinks I am avoiding his questions on purpose because I have something to hide. Last weekend he had to come find me at 5am while I was wondering around trying to find my house in a town I haven't lived in since march.
I am visiting my doctor to discuss this as soon as an appointment is available but my boyfriend is very stressed and ya causing a major strain on our relationship. He thinks I'm either cheating or on drugs which I am not! I barely even drink. We were supposed to be moving in together and he's put it on hold as he's struggling to trust me at the moment which I completely understand but it's breaking my heart. I love him very much and I don't know what I can do to make this better or to help him understand. I have promised to not go out without him unless it's to work. He didn't ask me to do this I volunteered but it's not a sustainable option. Please help /r/relationships I need advice on how to save my relationship. | Boyfriend thinks I'm cheating/on drugs due to terrible memory problems recently. Need advice how to make this better. |
t3_1t9qhf | AskReddit | [serious] Anyone know any places that help stranded families? | My family is stranded in Tennessee and we are trying to get to a safe place in Montana. We were renting a place from my wife's father while we were getting on our feet down here, and had paid rent up through the first. He decided to give me an eviction notice stating that I had till the 23rd of December to be out and that my wife and kids could stay.
In the process of trying kick me out he took all the household items he gave us and claimed we were going to pawn them and locked in a room, turning our 3 bedroom house into a 2 bedroom house. now our 3 kids are couped up in one room while we are in another.
He then took our car we were using and the car he was letting us use until our van was fixed, which caused me to lose my job because I had no way to get to work.
We've been looking high and low for assistance programs and nothing can help us or they would just hang up on us. We are trying to drive our van across country but it's hard to find help when we are stranded and can't get some form of assistance or temp work, and have little cash. If any of you know of any programs that could help it'd help us so much to make our Christmas holiday so much better. | we are stranded in an mentally abusive situation in TN and are trying to get help or advice on how make it there with next to no cash to move to MT. |
t3_4qi2wl | relationships | My [25F] fiance [29M] won't stop looking at porn at work - am I overreacting? | Long story semi-short, my fella of four and a half years and I both work at an office together doing outsourced phone work. We were together before the job, we live together, we have a baby together as well as my 3.5 and 5 year olds from a previous relationship. We're monitored minimally at best. We've had a long struggle with him always wanting to look at porn (not even real porn, just pictures of other girls, selfies and whatnot), but I recently found out that for at least a week (could be and probably is longer) he's taken to picking up a public wifi signal on his phone that doesn't have service so that he can look at this stuff at his desk. Not sure if he's actually making a trip to the bathroom to finish but he used to pleasure himself at work in the bathroom before his service was turned off anyway. I absolutely can't stand it. It feels stomach-turning to think that he's so desperate to look at porn without the possibility of me noticing that he's sneaking it at his desk and lying. Am I completely in the wrong for having an issue with this as he's suggested, for either the porn at work, the lying, or both? I honestly don't know what to feel anymore, it's bothered me and hurt me for all of the common reasons for so long that I'm almost numb to it. I don't usually have an issue with the concept of porn, jerkin' it, etc., but the way he goes about keeping it his deepest, darkest secret, lying to my face about it, doing it at desks, parking lots at fast food places with free wifi, for some reason this element just gives me anxiety attacks. Also, yes, I'm aware I should get counseling - actively seeking. | My fiance is looking at porn at his desk and lying to my face until proven guilty. Is it wrong to feel like this isn't okay, and is it rational to be upset by it? |
t3_2sk7yk | tifu | TIFU by setting my alarm | So this didn't happen today but rather a few years ago.
At the time, I owned a samsung galaxy s1. It was an awesome phone but being over a year old it was starting to crap out. Like most people I know, I use my phone to wake up for work in the morning, until one fateful day when it finally decided to crap out completely.
I'm a heavy sleeper and I don't wake up to much of anything... so I needed a replacement alarm for work the next day. It was too late to go buy an alarm clock and obviously getting another phone that quick was out of the question. Instead I remembered my iPod and promptly downloaded an alarm app on my ipod touch. Going through the settings I naturally chose the rooster alarm.
I was skeptical about this idea as the iPod touch's speakers were pretty shitty and I didn't think it would wake me up. This is where I FU, genius me decides to hook my ipod up to my computer speakers, crank them full blast and move them closer to my pillow.. even though the speakers were right beside my bed already. I go to sleep thinking my idea is foolproof.
6am and I wake up in level 10 panic mode to a rooster screaming in my ear. My brain that isn't awake yet tells me to start screaming for whatever reason. In my screaming panic I stand up and stick my hand into my ceiling fan spinning at top speed. I trip on the floor, fall on my coffee table and smack my head on my tv. Went to work that day with a messed up wrist and tinnitus. I honestly don't know what I expected... not a huge FU but looking back it's kinda funny. | hooked rooster alarm up to computer speakers at full volume, woke up screaming, sprained my wrist, pooped a little and went to work with the most incredible ringing in my ears. |
t3_263jhw | relationships | I [19/M] had a mutual breakup with my [19/f] girlfriend of three years, that happened to not be so mutual. How can I move on already????? | Well we broke up due to location and I thougnt it was mutual, turns out she was cheating on me with my old good friend from high school and then tried a relationship with him, failed, then got with another guy a few days later.
I wasn't the boyfriend I could have been and I admit that, I had no self esteem and no confidence and I wasn't it the right place for a relationship at the time.
But anywho, this information killed me and I beat myself up for the past... 6 months(?) or so since we broke up, I know I wasn't the boyfriend I could have been but her actions severely hurt me and left me feeling like shit.
I want to move on badly and I've tried every single thing on here recommended but find myself thinking about why she had done what she had done, or thinking what she is up to and wanting to creep her facebook or twitter. I want to have a sure thought in my head that I'll never be with her again and I want to stop thinking about her and I altogether.
Please, any advice will help :) | GF of 3 years cheated and left me heartbroken and hurt, I want to move past this phase and be done with her for good, please! |
t3_2404ww | relationships | What is some advice you can give to me [21f] who just got out of a 2 year relationship with [20m]? I'm losing hope that there's light at the end of the tunnel. | I need help. This man is the love of my life. We love each other dearly. But after a few months of always arguing due to stress and such, we broke up. In his words, "we both need to learn how to be ok on our own, and if at some point down the road we feel like things have changed and we could be together in a healthy way, then it was meant to be."
I will always love him. But holding on to that kind of hope is torture. But I can't stand the idea of cutting off communication and not having him in my life. I feel so completely lost. | I'll take any advice I can get on how to cope with the pain and move on. Please and thank you. |
t3_2th257 | tifu | TIFU by laughing at my cat | This actually happened between Christmas and New years 2014.
So some context we are finishing our basement and a leaking hose on his air compressor. Also my wife is pregnant and has a very bad case of the flu so she can not take anything for it.
So it was 11:30 at night and I am looking down the basement stairs when I hear the compressor kick on. So I hauled ass to right quickly down the stairs to shut it off before it woke up my 4 year old son. As I turn the bend and start running down the stairs I hear [the cat's litter box explode] side to side as one of out cats terrified at the sound of the compressor and the shaking and loud noise of me running at full speed down the stairs towards him. He nope the fuck out and shot like a rocket up the stairs and I could not contain my laughing as I turned off the compressor. I finish the night out by staying up to 1:30 am playing games with my brother.
Fast forward to about 7 am (slightly light out) and I wake up to the cat pestering me. So I push him over and tell him to go back to sleep and I close my eyes and nod back off to sleep. Not to long later I hear him rustling with the sheet again and I pushed him over again and close my eyes. I am not quite out when my wife says "Why is my back warm.", followed quickly by "and wet!". Instantly I knew what happened even before she uttered out "and wet". We both rolled out of bed (a sleep number bed) and the urine that was flowing seconds before to my pregnant flu suffering wife is now pooling on the cats feet and he lets out a long sad and mournful meow[(like this but about 20 seconds long)] It was like he was saying "I made a terrible mistake". He finished and I had to then give him a bath, move his letterbox to our bedroom and he will no longer go near the basement. | laughed at my terrified cat, now his shitter is in my room and he does not flush or light a match. |
t3_39e0jb | relationships | How can I stop being jealous about my [24M] girlfriend's [22F] close guy friend? | It's still pretty early in our relationship and it's been less than a year that we've been with each other. My girlfriend has this close guy friend that she hangs out with. I shouldn't be bothered by this and I told her (and myself) that I'm fine with it. I should be. They knew each other way before I met my girlfriend and she has every right to hang out with him. There's no logical reason for me to stop her from doing so.
However, sometimes it makes me feel left out or meaningless. She's been hanging out with him a lot recently, since I've been swamped with work. And whenever she tells me about what they did, it always sounds like she has more fun hanging out with him than she does with me. As a result, I've been getting a little jealous lately. Sometimes I wonder if she would be happier with him. I don't know what I could provide that this guy friend couldn't. | Girlfriend has a close guy friend that she seems to have more fun with. How can I stop being jealous about it? |
t3_218zh5 | relationship_advice | [27/M] I have started hanging out with a new girl [25/F] after breaking up with my old gf [25/F] but now the ex and I are talking again, need advice! | So my ex-girlfriend and I had a great relationship and got along really well and ended up breaking up because we were in a long distance relationship and thought it might be best to just separate for a while. So we did, and during that time I met and started to hang with a really nice/sweet girl who I have started to develop feelings for. Problem is, I still have very strong feelings for my ex and now we are talking to each other again. The break up kind of gave us a snapshot of life without one another, a snapshot I think neither of us really enjoyed and we wanted to return to the state of happiness we shared together. I am so emotionally torn because the girl I began to see is so down to earth and nice and I know it wouldnt be right to just abruptly end things with her on just a whim that by rekindling conversations with the ex would DEFINITELY lead to us officially getting back together. I feel like this is a classic case of guy torn between two girls, but its tough because I truly want my ex...regardless of distance, but the girl who is here/around is definitely someone I could picture myself with as well after some time together. Just a shitty situation that I'm confused with, all advice welcome! | Started talking with ex after attempting to move on by seeing another girl, now stuck between two great girls and want to be honest and not screw someone over. |
t3_4vho21 | relationships | Me [31M] struggling to see the good in marriage [28F], is it a rough patch or the end? | I'm not 100℅ sure where to start asking for advice. Been married for 5 years. My wife and I only dated for 1 year, but had been very close friends for years before dating.
We have always had a good dynamic. When one of us is lacking or falters in an area the other picks up the slack. I've always said we complement each other well. Lately, it hasn't been that way. For the past few months we have argued and bickered over big things and little things, and I'm having trouble letting go of the fights. She needs me for support (emotionally, socially, professionally, etc), and I don't need her. I've always been more independent than her, but the past few months I've hit the point where I don't rely on her for anything except to pay the bills. When we aren't fighting things are just OK, but when we fight I struggle to find the energy to remain committed and get through it. I worry our child is the only thing holding me to this relationship.
I cannot seem to shake the idea of divorce. The moment things are still at work or my mind becomes unoccupied I go back to the idea of leaving. Our child, divorce being final, family, and social stigma are my biggest fears/hesitations in moving forward. How do you know it is the end or just a rough patch?
I'm planning to make an appointment with a therapist on Monday, just to have someone local to talk to about all these emotions and feelings and thoughts. | Wife and I fight and bicker regularly, but I'm struggling in seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Do I keep pushing onwards? |
t3_l86mm | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, someone dumped a nearly skeletal calico kitten in our lot. I'm not sure what to do with her. | She's about five to six months old and light as a feather (severely malnourished, we've fed her, etc.). She has a wound (scabbed, doesn't appear infected, likely a cat bite) on her back, leading towards her hip and walks with a severe limp in the hinds, however doesn't appear to show pain despite the favoring. I've handled her extensively since we caught her (she ran for me when I held out a piece of meat and became my good friend over the mouthful) and I've checked her joints, legs and paws for damage, however she doesn't react poorly or cry which sort of leads me to believe it's a defect? (One toepad appears larger on one of her hinds, like, excessively so, but it's not infected or cut and the limp is very pronounced. She takes a step and drops her entire body down to the left to take the next step)
She appears alert and doesn't seem to mind when you handle her legs or hindquarters and I'm beginning to think it's a product of inbreeding, however I was curious if anyone had suggestions for what to try. She's not housebroken (bitch shat on my blanket >>) so I assume she lived outdoors, which means that she managed to fend for herself which makes a poorly healed injury or a dislocated hip a possibility (or perhaps it explains exactly why she's skinny as a rail, either or). I can deal with undernourishment and the obvious injuries easily (yay junior-aspiring-vet-with-hopes-and-dreams-shot-down-by-the-realization-that-you-had-to-perform-a-mercy-kill-to-graduate!), we've fed her and given her water, she slept in the bathroom for a few hours and I'm not too concerned about her being outside or attacked by other feral cats in the area right now as she appears to be making friends now that she's not fighting them for food so she's sleeping in the flowers for now. | Someone dumped a kitty with a bad limp and near starved to death. Doesn't show signs of obvious injury outside of the limp/starvation/a scab and I'd like ideas of what to do about the limp. |
t3_13i6cz | jobs | Should I do something after the job interview ? | Hi ! I'll try to make it quick to read..
I've applied for a Community Manager job in an international gaming company. I've sent Resume & Cover Letter on November 6th. I got a mail response on November 9th where we scheduled a meeting on November 13th.
The meeting was on skype with the community manager ONLY. I believe that the meeting went well, he asked several questions where my answers were welcomed with an "excellent". At the end of the meeting he asked me if I would be ready to move to another country (said yes). Then, he asked if I knew the next step, I said no. He said that the recruitor would contact me by mail, then the ITW was over.
Now we are November 20th :
* I didnt got an email response
* I didnt send anything to them since the job itw (13th November)
So here is my question :
**Should I wait more since it's only been one week or should I send something to show my interest in their company ? Or would that be unwelcome giving the fact that I waited 1 week to do so... or worse, considered as harassment ? | I've had no response after my job interview that was one week ago. Should I wait or send / do something ? |
t3_z7exp | relationships | [21/m]. I really like a girl, but I haven't had to do the dating thing in 3 years and can't tell if I should act on it, or how... | So I met a girl recently, and she's really cool. I've hung out with here a bunch the past couple weeks, and I really like her.
I don't know if she feels the same, and I am afraid to tell her, because I feel like it would be better to have a cool friend than fuck things up and have it get awkward.
We've done what I perceive to be really datey stuff, like we went together to a beach and sat on the cliffs next to each other for like an hour and just talked and whatnot. I don't honestly know though. I haven't had to play the dating game in over 3 years, so I'm absolutely fucked when it comes to this kind of thing. It could be dangling right in front of my face, or it could be nonexistent when I want it to be.
What would you guys recommend? | I like a girl, but it has been too long for me to know if I should go for it or not. |
t3_52scq8 | relationships | Boyfriend [22 M] got me [20 F] cash for my birthday? | I don't mean this to sound insensitive or ungrateful in any way, shape, or form.
Long story short, my boyfriend of 1 year got me $50 cash and a bouquet of flowers for my 20th birthday. He went out to celebrate that night at dinner with my family, some friends, and I.
For his birthday 2 months earlier, I searched for a guitar for him as it was always his dream to learn how to play. His family could never afford it growing up.
I don't mean to put myself on a high shelf, but I worked really hard to find the perfect one and make sure it was right. I know nothing about guitars. It was over $150 (I'm a college student. I can hardly afford dinner every night lol)
Also, I owed him $50 for something he picked up for me at the store that I requested. I gave him cash and I noticed the 3 bills each had a marking on them.
Guess what 3 bills I got back for my birthday?
I really don't mean to make this sound ungrateful, but I don't know how to feel. I put so much effort, money, and thought into his gift and I get $50 cash me some flowers. I absolutely love flowers, but...
Also, I was not invited to celebrate his birthday with his family and friends. His mom makes it obvious she isn't my biggest fan (she is a future mother in law from hell.) He didn't want to invite me because his "parents said no" and he "didn't want it to be awkward." Basically everyone who was important to him was there, except me. She invited all his friends in spite of me I believe.
I am really not concerned on the monetary values of things. It's the thought that counts. I just feel like literally no thought went into this. I am so easy to buy for. I've verbally expressed stuff that I like before.
Is it wrong for me to feel a bit turned off by this?
Thank you! | BF of 1 year got me $50 cash and flowers for my birthday after I spent $150 on him on a brand new guitar, it's always been a dream of his to have one. |
t3_2jrxlh | relationships | Me [24 M] leaning towards breaking up with my gf [22 F]. Problem is, my birthday is in two weeks. | So before people give me shit about being an asshole or whatever, its not an issue because I want presents. I actually dont want anything at all. The issue is, that I'm not sure that I am making the right choice.
The problem with our relationship that lead to this is essentially the way she handles problems or stress. She absolutlely rages, and just becomes so negative and hateful of the world that it really is starting to have an effect on me. I understand you are always going to be empathic with someone you love but it really is making me unhappy.
I have been with her for 2.5 years, and for some time now have been trying to curb this behaviour, encouraging her to deal with it better, and perhaps even seek proffessional help, but to no avail. Things have been stressful in our lives at the moment, exacerbating and highlighting the problem. Still, I love her a lot and, for the most part, I have been quite happy, so I dont want to abandon things unnecessarily. I want to try and really push her to change, and let her know its important to me, but I know not to expect someone to change. I can hope though right.
A complication is that my birthday is in 2 weeks. I know she hasnt spent any money yet, but traditionally she spends way too much and spoils me, despite my protests.
Should I break up with her know and forgoe giving her one last chance (and perhaps regret it)? Or should I give it a little more time and really try and make this relationship work? In which case I would be breaking up with her withing weeks of my birthday. Opinions would be greatly appreciated. | Thinking I want to break up with gf, but want to give it a little more time try and make it work. Problem is, birthday is in two weeks, should I end it before then? |
t3_1134zq | AskReddit | Me and a friend suspect that one of our mutual friends was molested by his dad. We don't have solid proof. What do we do? | Let me start that me and Joe know Michael for a very, very long time. Especially me. When I was around six, and Michael around five, we used to play a lot together with my nephew. Michael seemed a normal kid at first, but one time my aunt caught him trying to shove his hand down my underwear. ''Let me feel for a second,'' he said. My aunt separated us and never bothered to tell his parents. Michael also used to be fond of very unusual games. He and my nephew used to play hide and seek, but Michael always said: ''If I find you, you have to take your clothes off.''
Well, fast forward a couple of years later. I'm around twelve, and my best friend Joe meets Michael. They are in the same class. They befriend each other and I befriend Michael. I didn't know he tried to molest me at that time, I found that out later. My mom told me. My mother is now dead by the way, so I can't ask her advice, unfortunately. So we're all in the same school together. Then, one year later, Michael's sister says she's being abused at home. This immediately rings a bell. Nobody believes her. Then, one day she says she lied all of it. I still don't believe that. I think she said that because nobody believed her. So, this is very suspicious. I decided to tell Joe and he was quite shocked by what he heard from me. Especially because Michael seems like such a normal kid. We decide to do nothing, but now, a couple of years later (me and Joe both sixteen, Michael fifteen), we have another proof of ''evidence''. Michael was having severe nightmares, and told his mother. Who said: ''Maybe they're about your dad?'' BOOM. That's all. Michael doesn't even ask trough? I asked Michael what the nightmares were about, he didn't know.
So, me and Joe think Michael was molested by his dad, but now can't remember. Or something like that. We don't know what to do. It's not like we have good proof or whatever, and any advice is REALLY welcome. Like, really, REALLY welcome. | Me and my best friend think one of our mutual friends is being molested by his dead. What do we do? We don't have any good evidence.* |
t3_25ch7l | Advice | Too mature for my own age, can't make friends. | I'm very new to reddit so hopefully this is the right section and this is appropriate, here it goes.
Dec 21 of this past year, I started dating the most amazing, beautiful, funny girl ever. This is the first relationship I've been in in almost two years, since my ex girlfriend dumped me after 2 1/2 years of a "perfect" relationship. Anyways, this girl, we'll call her Sally, is very popular, very social, likes partying, and is a bit of a drinker.
I'm not. I'm quiet, nerdy, way too mature for my own age, and very very judgmental of your average 16-18 dumb-ass pothead that plague my high-school. (I'm not anti-weed, I'm anti-idiot.)
Thankfully we work really well together because our differences complement each-other, we help each other out. I help her with motivation to finish school, and work etc, and she helps me be a bit more social so she's not my only friend. Problem is, nothing is working. I've tried for nearly 5 months to talk to people and I just don't know how. Here's an example conversation with someone who was my closest friend for 4 years, but I haven't talked to in 2 years.
Me: Hey man, how have you been?
Them: Pretty good, you?
Me: Not too bad, just wanted to catch up.
Them: Cool, haha.
Me: ??????????????????
I just don't know how to engage in a proper conversation unless I have romantic feelings for them. I'm too judgmental and I debate too much, or as my girlfriend says, I'm a know-it-all and nobody likes that.
**Reddit, what do I do? | I'm antisocial and my girlfriend has been trying to fix that but it's not working, what should I do? |
t3_39dlf8 | relationships | I [22 M/] asked out a girl [21/F] that I recently started talking to again for about 6 months. She said no, but that she would like for us to get to know each other better. | I started talking to his girl about six months ago. I've known since I was a little kid but we didn't see each other for about 11 years. She was totally into me we were always skyping, telling me how she wanted to see me. We live about 2 hours away from each other.
I finally decided to ask her to be my girlfriend about a week ago. She said that she didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment, and that she just wants to be friends and get to know each other a little more, but it wouldn't guarantee anything would happen.
This kind of threw me a little off guard and I ended up making her feel uncomfortable by being a bit too insistent on it. (I haven't had an interest in a girl for about 3 years because I've been busy starting up a trucking company, so I'm pretty rusty when it comes to relationships).
So I'm thinking about giving her some space or stop talking to her completely. What do you guys think I should do? | Asked girl out. She said she didn't want a relationship at the moment, but we should get to know each other more./Should I give her space or stop talking to her completely? |
t3_1aw7k9 | self | Career/relocating question | Hello there, I'm not sure what subreddit would work best so lets give this one a shot. I'm currently in Los Angeles pursuing entertainment-y type careers, ie working for a studio, network, etc. I have strong internship experience and have been doing interviews, but nothing has materialized yet.
There is a very interesting and high-responsibility job that I'm in very strong consideration for out of state. If I got it, I feel that it would put me years ahead of the competition and give me excellent experience with a respectable organization, not just clerical/admin stuff like most people start off. I feel that this job if it were in LA or NY, it would be incredibly competitive, but the less-than-ideal location makes many applicants hesitant.
Of course since it isn't in LA or NY, I'm afraid that taking that job (if I'm even offered it) will hinder my ability to eventually be and work in one of those places again. There really isn't much room for growth in this particular organization, and I don't want to be living in this job's city for more than 1-2 years. One thing holding me back early on in the process was that I wasn't physically in NY or LA already, but then again for higher level positions, that may not be an issue for companies when looking for qualified candidates. | Unemployed in Hollywood, awesome job opens up out of state, trying to figure out if taking it would be beneficial or detrimental to entertainment career in long run. |
t3_ujl6d | AskReddit | I accepted a counterfeit bill and my boss is telling me I have to pay for it. Is this right? | * | Delivered food, got a counterfeit bill that looks like a real one. Being told that I am responsible for it, not the business. Don't care about the money at all, who is right? |
t3_2gpa15 | relationships | [17 M] Classmate [F] I sit next to in 3 classes likes me but I don't like her back.. | So first off I go to a small high school where my classes may only have 5-20 kids. The girl I will mention is a pretty shy girl, a pastors daughter tbh lol. She's never done anything sexual and she probably has no experience with guys. I share 3 classes with this girl and I sit next to her in 3 that are very, very tiny classes (students= 5, 15, 6). We have never really talked besides simple small talk class topics and only sit next to each other because we are assigned to.
Like I said, we never have really talked besides class topics and simple greetings and just on Saturday (4 days before this post) she texts me randomly. I replied and was pretty surprised to see a text from her as I didn't even realize I had her number.
So we start texting back and forth and she obviously is into me sending me smiles in every other text, which is kind of an obvious sign to me. I never once have led her on to keep texting me but yet the next day she texts me again. We talk a little more, I'm trying to just stay as far away from leading her on as possible, but every time I answer a question she has for me, she seems to like me more and more. She texted me the next 2 nights in a row, once asking if I had a book to help her on and I said no and nothing more, but she continued to reply and started a conversation(which makes things even more obvious). BUT SHE HAS NEVER STRAIGHT SAID SHE LIKES ME.
At school we don't talk much more than usual, I don't want her to think I like her because I don't. But I don't want things to be awkward the rest of the year or have her hate me from me being a dick and telling her I don't like her. So please someone give me a suggestion because I don't know how to handle this situation.
She will probably text me again tonight..
Thank you redditors for your support! Much Appreciated | A girl I sit next to in 3 very small classes obviously likes me and has been texting me the last few days, I haven't led her on at all but she continues to text me. I don't know what to do. |
t3_488od0 | relationships | Me [27M] and my GF [34F] and mother of my child got together after being separated. It was "okay" at first, but it's just pretty much devoid of... Anything. She blames it on depression, but I figure it's something else. | Short story: met her at work, hadn't dated anybody in some time seriously. 3 months later, had a surprise. She was pregnant. She left me as a result. I guess I would have left me too; I definitely didn't have my shit together. I'm a college dropout, I had been meandering for some time. Dealing with depression, other issues. Nothing serious, I'm just a loner, bad childhood, no drug use or anything like that. I wanted more for my life and I fucked it up.
Was in another relationship for 2 years after she left me. She had feelings for me, and I slowly discovered I did too. I shared brining a child into this world with her, and I had always dreamed of having the complete family I never had.
I did what I needed to do, I stepped up to the plate and I wouldn't trade the little guy for the world. She's been married before, guy was a douche. She loved him.
Shit, I don't even know what I'm asking for. I'm over at her house now, had a "family night". She's sleeping now, I'm watching baby (2 years old). She lives with her ex mother in law after the douche she was with divorced her. Been here for years.
This isn't what I expected, really. Thought I would be happier. I'm miserable. No love, despite the fact that I'm trying so fucking hard to make it work. I do love her. I don't really think it goes the other way. She just ascribes it to depression, and that she doesn't feel the way shes supposed to.
With the exception of my son, I hate my life. I'm beginning to hate my relationship. Stupid thing is, she wanted this! I'm starting to resent all of this.
Maybe when I get my shit together (I have serious career plans that I am following though with hell or high water) she will come around. | Hell, there's no love. At least, it feels one sided right now, and she made me believe she wanted it too. What the hell do I do. |
t3_2dru9f | offmychest | I love to torture small animals. | Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I stopped smoking pot about a year ago for just this reason. Whenever I was stoned I would get so violent and aggressive that I would find any excuse to horseplay with my friends and I would never want to stop. There were two particular instances where I choked my friend unconscious and another where I dislocated my friend's shoulder via kimura. That was all fun and games. Then it started getting psycho.
It started at my friend Val's house. We were all blowing down in his living room, smoking joint after joint, when my friend's spoiled-rotten dog walks in with this goofy-ass smirk on it's face and jumps on the couch next to me. Everyone is in the other room cooking food to quell their munchies at this point and I'm all alone with the dog. I remember just looking at it's wet eyes and thinking about how much my friend's family spoils it and how it's never felt pain before. I start small. I pinch it a little bit here and there and it gets annoyed and barks which bring my friends back in the room. They eat on the coach and go back for seconds. The second they leave, I turn to the dog and beat it senseless. Everytime it tries to get away I pull it back and slam my fist into it's jaw. Everytime I strike I can feel that this dog is feeling fear for the first time and how I'M the cause of that fear. I feel power like never before. Soon it evolved. I broke my friend's pet bird's wing with a punch and I would catch snakes in my backyard and drown them. Once I stopped smoking weed I thought it was all behind me. But another friend of mine has pet rats and I want to hurt them so bad. She's always skyping me and showing me how she fucking spoils them and cuddles them. I want them to feel fear and pain so bad that sometimes it aches inside. I plan on going over her house and torturing them. I go to my local pet store every other week and kill rats. Rats are my favorite. They show so much emotion when they suffer. | something's wrong with me. I kill animals for fun and it feels so good. I dont do anything illegal but that. Rodents are my favorites. Two rats have died thanks to me. |
t3_zlg6b | relationship_advice | [20/m] here. I'm friends with a girl who's a few years older than me and I need some advice. | Hey r/r_a, I have an issue that's been bugging me. I'm friends with this chick and she considers me her best friend in the state (she's originally from Chicago). Her new "boyfriend" treats her like shit and they've only been going out for the better part of a fortnight. Hearing about how he treats her actually brings out the urge in me to punch him in the face. She's a sweet girl with a self-image issue and I really just want to help her get rid of this abusive asshole before he disrespects her in front of me and I wind up with an assault charge on my record. It might be my "big brother" complex, but I don't like seeing others harm people I care about.
The other thing is that I'm unsure if she's been dropping hints for me to make a move as a) I'm completely oblivious to this sort of thing, b) I'm not interested in a relationship right now and she really wants one, and c) I don't even know if she finds me attractive. This isn't the issue though. The thing up there is, but any hints as to reading women would be appreciated. | I'm a girl's best friend, she confided in me about her abusive boyfriend and I want to put a stop to it, even if she doesn't. |
t3_51326z | relationships | I [23M] am truly in shock of my family's reaction of not sharing scholarship interview | Hey i'm really at a loss of words of whats happening right now.
Short story, in my country there are these really special scholarships awarded to literally to only a dozen of students. While they are really prestigious they are also freaking hard to obtain!!
I was selected to be interviewed later next week. Yesterday i shared this information with my parents and apparently they went ham at me cause I had told one of my teacher 2 days earlier. My folks are living in a small city where everyone knows everyone and apparently my teacher met my Dad and congratulated him for my "achievement".
I just ended a convo with my mom where she ended up crying, saying she doesnt thinks its normal to hide things from her(them).
I just dont get IT why is it such a big deal?! From my point of view is just an interview and to be honest its highly unlikely i will be selected further. How can i deal with this? I cant seem to reason with them and they just wont see my point of view. I dare to see i think they feel betrayed?!
How can i fix this? | My family went ham at me for not telling them about my interview right away. I cant seem to reason with them. How can i fix this? |
t3_3xx9no | relationships | Me [25M] with my texting partner [21 F] 3months, Do I share thoughts? | I wrote something, and stopped myself from sending it because it seems awkward as anything.
Here's what I wrote:
"I like hearing from you, It's nice , but I'm not going to say that out loud, because that would be rude and lead you on and stuff, instead, I'm just going to keep replying to you until you get the message that I like talking to you. "
I'm not sure if I like her or not. Eh, that's probably all it is. I don't want to share that with her because that would just be awkward.
Sharing it with strangers on the internet seemed like the lesser of two evils. | eh, I wrote an awkward paragraph that probably shouldn't see the light of day. Anyone want to second me that I made the right decision not to send it? |
t3_4d7woe | relationships | I [23F] had a threesome with BF [23M] and friend [22M] & really enjoyed it. Now BF feels insecure. | We were at a small party last night with some friends, after the party was done, us and a few of the friends came back to my boyfriend's place and continued having fun. They left one by one until it was him, me and one of our friends (I'll call him Jack).
Let me explain some back info: I've known Jack for 18 months now, my boyfriend has known him for 4 years. They were buddies, but not close friends until around six months ago when both of us were getting closer to him. I've always had a slight crush on Jack (and I think him on me) and my boyfriend has always known about it. We talked about threesomes and we both have been interested. We looked through the people who would be good candidates for both of us, Jack was among them, but we never finalized a decision or plan.
Back to last night, I told my BF that this may be a good chance to try something with Jack. He agreed. So I flirted with him a little, made a move and the rest followed. It ended up being an amazing night for me, I really enjoyed it in every way, and from what I could tell, they both enjoyed it as well.
In the morning after we woke up the three of us talked about it, how it must remain our secret and there's no plan of repeating it until all of us have time to think about it. Everyone seemed in agreement, Jack left.
My BF however is acting weird. He says that he feels inadequate or incapable because I seemed to be enjoying it too much, that somehow he's incapable of satisfying me. I explained how that's not true and how amazing he is but it didn't seem to work no matter how hard I tried. And he's feeling a little insecure about his size, since Jack was a little larger (my BF isn't small, he's average salary sized).
How can I make him feel better about himself? | BF and I had threesome with a friend. He's now feeling insecure and he's not confident in his sexual abilities. |
t3_2ffj6u | relationships | My (20F) bf (23M) of 3yrs is totally closed to trying anything sexually new. NSFW. | My boyfriend and I have had a lively, deep, and all around fun sexual history with one another up until about 5 months ago. When it comes to sex, I'm more of the "try anything once" kind of girl and only after do I decide if it's something I like. He, on the otherhand, is completely closed off to much beyond very normal sex. I dont necessarily want bdsm all the time or public expositions of our sexual forays. Hell, I don't even want anything to do with pegging, generally. But when it comes to spontaneity, exploring new "O" spots, or even suggesting a new sequence to how we do sex, he gets defensive, feels personally attacked, or completely resistant.
Though I really do love having sex with him, and really have never connected with anyone besides him in that respect, at this point I'm feeling neglected and bored. Often, he doesn't even take the time to pleasure me after he's finished. I don't think he's truly tried to make me finish in about 1.5-2 years. It hurts to feel like your pleasure doesn't matter. It hurts to feel like the bad guy for suggesting something new. And it hurts the most when you're stuck between those sensitive areas.
So now I ask, how do I ease this into conversation then practice? I don't want to leave him, but I don't want to be sexually frustrated for the rest of our relationship. | My boyfriend of 2.5 years doesnt try to make me sexually satisfied even half of the time and isn't into doing anything new. Hurt and stuck. |
t3_147bye | relationship_advice | [22F] Boyfriend [22] of 3 months extremely hateful towards certain groups of people | He says things like "I hate Chinese people", "I hate gay people", "That girl's legs are so fat", "Isn't he ugly? Look at his face!". Sometimes when we are out for dinner he says to me in a semi-joking manner "don't get fat!" (which I actually find quite hurtful, and now I'm starting to watch what/how much I eat). At first I thought he was joking but he says them fairly often and backs up his opinions with horribly racist/discriminatory/shallow reasoning. I have never in my life experienced anyone say such things in my presence and mean them, and it makes me so shocked I don't know what to do. It's extremely off putting and I have no idea how to react, but I can't ignore it anymore.
My question is how do I tell him that these comments and opinions are unacceptable to me? Should I bring it up or wait for him to (ie: by making anther comment)? What's more is he normally will say these things in the presence of other people (our friends), and I don't want to cause a scene by confronting him in front of everyone. I do enjoy spending time with him and we have a lot of fun together, but I can't date someone who honestly thinks these types of things. | How do I tell my boyfriend that his blatant racism, discrimination and hurtful comments (which were not apparent when we first got together) are a deal breaker for me? |
t3_m6y17 | AskReddit | My mom found out I'm having sex and might kick me out/cut off college funding, what can I do? HELP | Preface: I am a 20 year old female who is a junior in college with a very high GPA, planning on applying to med school this summer.
Story: I have crazy Christian conservative parents, and my mom is literally psychotic and likes to spy on me. Today, she overheard me talking to a friend on the phone mentioning something about having sex with my boyfriend. Immediately she confronted me saying she heard everything, and started searching through my room for the title to my car (even though it is in my name) so she could take it away from me. Although she didn't find it, I am afraid she will try to take my car away from me, along with cutting off my college funding and possibly trying to kick me out.
Although I am currently trying to get financial aid from my college, it still hasn't come through, and I'm not expected anything besides loans because my dad is a doctor and makes over the allotted amount for aid. If they stop paying I will have to drop out of school and this will ruin my future. What are my options? My income isn't enough to really cover anything, since I spend the majority of my time studying and volunteering. I can't get private loans yet because I only have two years of credit history. I don't know anyone who would cosign for me either.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks! | Crazy Christian mother found out I am sexually active and may try to cut off college funding. Need advice so I don't have to drop out of college. |
t3_49jzn6 | relationships | My current crush [22 F] has a boyfriend and I [23 M] like her, what's the endgame here? | Good afternoon, everyone. I have a question for you all and I was hoping that I could possibly get some closure and advice on the subject at hand.
As such, allow me to set the mood. I met "Sabree" during my psych class last semester and at that time, I was not looking to date anyone or get into that scene you know? However, once I found out that she works fairly close to my place of employment and naturally, I decided to speak with her just cause.
Nonetheless, after a period where I jumped back into the dating scene and failed, I saw her working at her job two Sundays ago and made a very difficult decision. And that was to ask her out for some coffee on Friday and get those digits. However, I had to catch myself because of how nervous I would be.
As such, after a brief period I finished the mission and boom, got the digits! Excellent, right?
Nevertheless, we started to speak and then on Wednesday the bombshell dropped! Originally, we going to reschedule the "date" for a later date and she told me the following word by word, "Sorry! I would try to make it back from Eastern on Friday but I wanted to visit my boyfriend"
Rats, not this song and dance again, you know?
Nonetheless, she did in fact make it back just in time for us to chill at Starbucks which was her first time there allegedly so I felt pretty cool about that with me stealing a moment away from ole' boy plus giving her the prequel trilogy of Star Wars to watch over so perhaps down the line, I can watch the OT with her.
Nonetheless, the point of this question is what the heck should I do going forward? Move on which I plan to do as soon as I can lock in on a few potential women to date or should I continue on and plant the seeds with a slow burning method? | got a girl's number, found out that she is taken but we went out last Friday, what's the plan of action from here? |
t3_1kcp8l | relationship_advice | (18/F) just broke up with (18/M) after a year. He had an expiration date on our relationship the whole time. | We are both in college. He said that being in a relationship with the commitment of "loving" each other might inhibit us from growing as individuals. I have never prevented him from going out and doing things for himself. I have joined multiple clubs and feel like i've been having fun with my life and our relationship. Whenever I came back from doing my things, he would just be on the computer. I'm wondering if his idea of "growing" is short for "getting wasted and fucking around with other girls". That isn't growing to me, that's just caving into the whole "college" scene and ignoring the value of real relationships in your life.
I met his family, he met mine. I spent $500 to go see him this summer in PHX. My point is I put a ton of time and energy into this and he had an expiration date on the relationship the whole time. He said he cares about me a lot but is afraid about where he would be in the future if he were to be in a relationship like that. | I loved my boyfriend, he knew it, and he continued our relationship for 6 more months knowing that it wasn't going to progress for him. |
t3_44hvj5 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my husband [32 M], married 6 years to a negligent socialite. | I've been with husband for I think 13 years now, married for 6. In the early days there were some warning signs. He didn't want me going out with his friends - I chalked it up to him being still in the closet. I responded poorly, of course, but I still stayed with him.
I started noticing he's going on _lots_ of vacations with his family members. And he treats strangers and friends like royalty, but I'm often in second or third place. I have a real job and career. He's a trust-fund kid.
I have to move for academic jobs. I found myself in a new place with a totaled car, and asked him to speed up moving a little bit. He said he couldn't - he had work to do. It turned out to be a family wedding and vacation. The number of family events I've been fucked over for is just unreal - I hosted his father for a while after surgery. It ended poorly.
I moved again once my previous position ran out. He's back at home enjoying Mardi Gras with his family in the apartment I'm still paying for. We try to schedule nights together, but he'll stay out at bars later than expected talking to strangers, and won't update me to let me know not to wait on him. I'm not a tyrant, but a date's a date. And he doesn't ever text like he says he will. Oops, sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm always second place to friends, family, strangers, beer, and parties. I don't ask for a lot. Don't drink too much to drive. Text me if you're staying later than expected. You can obviously still see the brother I despise, but he's not going to sit around attacking my character in an apartment I'm paying for.
I started filing out divorce paperwork. It's remarkably easy. But I'm scared, in a new place. He's the only one I've got. He's at parades with family and friends so he's no longer responding to texts or emails. | My husband has no boundaries around family, friends, alcohol, and Mardi Gras parades. I want a little consideration, but he's not interested. Do I submit the divorce paperwork? |
t3_1vwr6w | jobs | A mentor who said could help me career wise does not answer my messages.... how to deal with the rejection? | As part of a corporate internship I did over the summer there was a component of the program that included a "buddy" who was essentially a young professional person that is automatically assigned to you. You meet with this person once a week or so to talk about the experience and whatnot. The first meeting I had with mine he said he could connect me with somebody who was essentially a "career matchmaker" and could put me in the segment of our business I wanted to be in.
Fast forward a month or so after the internship ends and I'm still in the same building in a different capacity and I was curious to see if he wanted to get lunch. Since I was locked out of the corporate address book because I was a contractor I looked him up on Linkedin and noticed that he had made the jump to our sister business in the city I wanted to work in. I shot him a message congratulating him on the position and the big move and received no message back. No biggie. I figured he was busy and my message didn't have anything that really warranted a reply.
About a month ago I'm looking for fulltime positions in the same sister business/city since I'm a temp, so I shot him an email asking how things are going and if he know of any opportunities that would be a good fit for me.... considering he works in HR... No response.
I feel kind of stupid now. I don't know what to do. I mean I feel like this person could be a huge help to my career and said he would help me and he doesn't respond to my messages. I feel like a third message with no response will make me look like a desperate psycho.... I mean I thought we had a good repoire but maybe he really didn't care for me for some reason.... It's just really messing with my head right now especially since I'm in a extremely over saturated, competitive industry and I'm trying to move to another city that's also extremely competitive and this person is one of my best shots.... | Mentor who said could help me career wise makes the jump to the city and sister business I wanted to be in. Now refuses to respond to my messages. |
t3_1cvtns | relationships | My [f25] boyfriend [m26] talked fondly about his ex girlfriends more than once which made me feel insecure. | Men & women of reddit, in the first month of our relationship, my boyfriend accidentally slipped some words about his ex girlfriends. I didn't ask for it so it kinda sucked listening to your new boyfriend talking fondly about these two girls. He said they are very pretty and he even told me that it was hard to forget one of the girls because he really liked (or likes?) her.
After a year together, I still remember that day when he randomly talked about them when we took a walk at the park. I still feel bitter about it and it is so hard to let it go, trust me!
I tried to put the thoughts aside but lately when he brought the stories about the girls up again, I just gave up. I am so dead curious since he said they are very pretty, so I asked him nicely "How do they look like?" My boyfriend thought that I am weird to ask for such thing. But hey, it was partly my boyfriend's fault to do such a shitt* thing to me when we just started dating. He still told me "no!"
I feel frustrated here as it is hard to let go. What can I do to ease my mind? | My boyfriend of one year talked fondly about his ex girlfriends which made me insecure. I am so dead curious about them now but boyfriend did not help ease my mind. What can I do? |
t3_2xlx72 | relationships | Me [21F] with my _guy friend__ [21 M] of 3 months, I'm not sure if he actually likes me, or if he just wants to be FWB. What's your take on this? | I have been hanging out with/ going out to dinner with this guy for about 3 months. On Friday night I hung out with him at his apartment.We listened to music, drank moscato, and discussed life and our plans for the future. I got pretty tipsy and d ecided that it would be in my best interest to spend the night. He insisted that I slip into one of his extra shirts before going to bed, and I did. As soon as I got kinda comfy in his bed he told me he had something to show me. He led me to the window in his living room to show me an incredible view of the city skyline, and then proceeded to kiss me. We went back to his room, he threw on a special playlist, we hopped in bed, proceeded to sing Bound 2 by Kanye West together and cuddle. Then we made out. He managed to finger me to an intense orgasm multiple times. I did not return the favor, and he didn't ask me to. I left at 7am. He tried to persuade me to sleep in with him until 11 am. I slipped into my own clothes, but when I took off his shirt he was a little hurt and insisted that I keep it. Today I texted him asked him what happened on Friday night, and he simply said that we " hung out". I told him that felt a lot of lines were blurred and that boundaries needed to be established in order to prevent chaos.He basically doesn't want to categorize the nature of our relationship because he wants it to be open to the highest degree of comfort. Can anyone explain what is going on? I'm very confused. | He basically doesn't want to categorize the nature of our relationship because he wants it to be open to the highest degree of comfort. Can anyone explain what is going on? I'm very confused. |
t3_2yclig | relationships | Me [20 M] and a very close friend [19 F] keep making out and I think I have a crush on her! | This is kind of a long story, so I'll try and stick to the basics. I'm currently at university, and I have a close group of friends, and at the core of this already small(ish) group is, myself and let's call them, John and Lucy. We have been close friends for about a year now, however in the last month or so, me and Lucy have kissed, more than once and for more than just a few minutes, like, a lot, at parties and bars etc. thing is it's only happened when we have been drinking, and I think she's reluctant for anything more to happen because of our friendship, John doesn't know, and I'd like to keep it that way, he thought he saw us kiss at a party once (we didn't we were just talking super close) and was kind of funny about it. Things between me and Lucy have definitely been different the last couple weeks, much more flirty and I can tell that we are trying to find ways to spend time with one another when we're at classes, sitting with each other and getting lunch going to library whatever. Lucy is amazing and I'm definitely interested in her, I've been trying to play it fairly casual because she's the kind of girl that EVERYONE is chasing and I don't want to be considered another one of 'those guys' but I also don't want to play it so cool that she thinks there is nothing there, also, I think talking to her about this would scare her off. Can anyone offer any advice?! Is there a way to make my intentions clear without coming across as too keen? I feel like the clock is ticking against me as there is always another guy trying to seduce her. | Me and a very close friend keep making out and I want it to lead somewhere but I don't want to scare her off! |
t3_wbqyd | AskReddit | [HELP] Need Help with finding CHEAP Mac for new job. | I'm hoping reddit can help me **BIG** on this one. I was recently let go from my previous position of three+ years of Help Desk work. Before that I worked in a PC repair shop for 5 years. Needless to say, I haven't worked with Macs or OSX a terrible amount.
Now I have an interview set up in 3.5 weeks with a company to do field service work (basically trouble-shooting copiers and such). It's not my dream gig, but at least it will provide some income for my family. When I called to ask more about the position, I was told that it required "firm knowledge of Window XP (check), Windows Server 2003/2008 (check check), and Windows Vista/Windows 7 (easy-peasy). Also Mac OSX (oh piss)." Apparently many of the clients are art houses that only use Macs.
It's been far too long since I was able to regularly use OSX, and the last time I did, to say I fumbled like an idiot child would be an overstatement. I'm up for buying a new PC, but I simply can't afford the "Apple Tax" in light of recent events. Even the refurbs I have found are insanely high.
I've also kicked around the idea of putting together a Hackintosh, but I'm afraid that by them time I get the parts, build it, and have it functional that there will be very little time to use it for its needed purpose.
My only other PC I can't really chance something happening to it on a Hackintosh load due to it being my main/only job hunting tool at the moment.
Is there anyone that help me find an affordable Mac ~~computer~~ laptop so I can train myself up on basic functions enough to be able to talk my way through this interview? I'm looking for anything here. I've never been unemployed, and having a family that's relying on me now, it's really making me freak out.
Thanks for reading | I'm recently unemployed and the only gig in my field I can find requires knowledge of OSX, which I'm mostly in the dark on. Looking to find an OSX box on the cheap to learn ASAP |
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