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t3_2z2nke | relationships | Me [26 M] with fiancée [25 F] of 5 years, is this abuse? | * When we have guests over, if I get too giddy about a story or just do *something* that triggers a reaction in her, she'll find it unacceptable. She will yell at me, and remind me of it frequently (once the guests have left).
* If we get into an argument, it inevitably turns into her remind me of the moments where I've been unacceptable, and paints me this picture where I'm really embarrassing.
* She makes me agree to the her views of the things she says about me, before she'll consider reconciliation.
* She says I am a loser and an idiot (she doesn't make me agree with it, but she says it often), frequently, most times she gets mad.
* She'll add in that the people around me are condemning my actions strongly, are shocked by my dumb decisions, and agree with her.
* She hates my family. She doesn't want us visiting them and I always stick by her whatever she says. She tells me pretty hateful things about my family when she's mad, but we still visit my parents and siblings occasionally with the kids.
* She says that she is done with our relationship every other week. It typically turns into her yelling, and telling me which of our two children she wants (and doesn't want) custody of. It takes about two days of stonewalling, hostile comments, rude remarks, to get through to her. I have to say nice things to her to get her back for days, and take a lot of hostility in return. After a few days of that some magical switch goes off in her head and poof everything is back to normal. | Are these things verbal abuse, or is it a more general sign that something's bad (possibly me or something I'm doing) about or relationship? |
t3_4dbqi5 | cats | My cat has a habit of hanging around other houses. Help? | I've had this cat since October, and I know her previous person. She's an outdoor cat, around 2 years old, and returns to the house most nights. One of the major problems that both myself and the other person have had is that she tends to make herself scarce when she senses we are going to move, sometimes even making a second home of sorts. Out of the last week, she's slept in my bed all but the last two nights (prompting me to seek her out in the neighborhood), but a neighbor also says she has been hanging out at his place for much of the time over the last week too. I really don't want to run into a situation where another person tries to take her because she's done that cat thing where she uses cuteness to get more food. The vet says her weight is perfect and I do give her more food when she's more active.
Is there anything I can do to discourage that behavior? I try to feed her on a schedule, but if she's not there, other animals (squirrels, birds, possibly other neighborhood cats) chip away at the food. I can keep her on the lead outside when we are cleaning house, and we are working on the "come" command with lots of treats. | [This adorable creature] is a habitual two-timer, and I need her to stop because it's super stressful and she gains too much weight. |
t3_3qjm9f | relationships | Am I (25 M) jealous or paranoid about my lady friend's (23 F) thoughts about her ex? | Ok so I submitted here a week or so ago about myself (25 M) and my friend (23 F) asking if I should change something about myself because she found it a turn-off. Well I didn't change anything and things are going swimmingly with us right now. We have been on several dates and spent the night over at each other's apartment a couple times. So thank you for the advice r/relationships.
Now I am coming to you again, my lady friend has told me that she isn't 100% sure if she is over her ex from 4-5 months ago. He lives about 3 states away and she has said that she has strong feelings for me but I can't get what she told me out of my head.
In terms of compatibility and attraction this woman is the best I've ever been with. I am just wondering if I can say or do anything that will make her forget about her ex or am I being too headstrong right now? I feel like if I just carry on with being myself she will realize what a great guy I am. I just really don't want to mess up a good friendship/relationship with this woman over my jealousy. Or is it jealousy even? I mean everyone thinks about their ex's from time to time right? | Lady friend told me she might not be over her ex. We have been seeing each other a lot for the past month exclusively. Am I jealous or paranoid? |
t3_4kz1bt | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [26M] 4 years, is it possible to have a non conventional breakup? | So long story short, I have been with my boyfriend (lets call him Scott) for just over 4 years. Everything in the beginning was great, and we have bonded extremely well...
We decided to move in together after 1.5 years and it was a great experience. We are pretty good together, we have each others best interests at heart and go out of our way to ensure the other is happy.
Everything should be fine, right? But here's the thing, I don't know if it's my age or just my immaturity but I have recently gotten really bored and complacent... I feel like I've settled down and become a different person. I turn down going out so I can catch up on laundry, or because it's my night to cook dinner. I almost feel as if the flame in our relationship has sizzled out and I'm craving that excitement. We try to plan 'date nights' and dress up for the evening...but even then it's not as if Scott is 'WOW'd' by me dressing up.
I think he thinks everything is fine, but I know I cant keep trying to *force* the excitement because eventually it will turn sour. We have a lot of mutual friends that I don't want to lose, most importantly Scott. I don't want to lose him. Aside from being an amazing boyfriend he is genuinely my best friend. I know I will have to end our relationship at some point...and I don't want him to think the whole thing was a waste of time
So my question is, can you ever have a break up which doesn't affect your underlying friendship? Instead of doing the 'no contact' is there a way to explain to him why we should end it and remain friends after being together for so long? | Been with boyfriend so long the flame has started to die out. Can you break up with someone and genuinely remain friends? |
t3_2g3s7m | tifu | TIFU by shaving off half my eyebrow before picture day | Let me start off by saying that it was actually my sister who did this, but since she doesn't use Reddit I decided to post it for her (I'm such a good sister). So we share a bathroom and we were both getting ready for the day. She was trying to look especially nice because it was picture day at her high school. She had started this habit of using her razor to shave in-between her eyebrows in order to save time by not tweezing. She was almost done when I hear her gasp in shock. Her hand had slipped while trying to shave and now half of her right eyebrow was gone. She looks over at me with one and a half eyebrows and my jaw drops, I don't say a word. "What do I do?!" she exclaimed. My mouth still open i just shake my head to say "I don't know". I then start rummaging in my makeup bag for eye brow pencils and makeup, telling her to try and draw it back in. I told her was going to help her fix this. All we had to do was draw the missing half in and it would come out 'okay' in the picture.
Now, I love my sister but what she did next was the dumbest thing ever. *She shaves off half of her other eyebrow!* Now she has two, half eyebrows. "I was trying to even them out" she said. Still holding all of my makeup I can't help but start to giggle. She then gets really angry with me and starts yelling at me and saying it was all my fault. She storms out of the bathroom and I break down in to complete laughter, which she hears and causes her to scream more. | My sister shaved off both halves of her eyebrows the morning of picture day. I will be making fun of her sophomore yearbook photo for the rest of her life. |
t3_18gi9c | AskReddit | Would I get in trouble for re-using a glass bottle and make it into a product to sell? | I've posted my origami bouquets/bottle gifts here before and got some great feedback. Examples [here] ( of what I make. I've sold a few and I am working on getting my own business up and running but I'm worried about a legal ramification on the bottles I use.
The bottles are [Cayman Jack Margarita] and I've cleaned them out and reused them as vases for my origami flowers. I use these bottles specifically because they are the perfect shape and size. I was getting them from my old job, we would sell them and pour the contents into a plastic cup and toss the glass. I just kept the glass and started making my bottle gifts. I want to grow my business and I thought about asking my old job for all their empty bottles, since it would be recycling and I need them.
What I'm worried about is if Cayman Jack figured out I was using their empty bottles (even if I purchased them) and remaking them for a product I sell for myself. The bottle is a unique design and has their logo (a little alligator) as a relief in the glass. Would I get into trouble if they found out? Should I look for an alternate bottle from hobby lobby to be safe?
Thanks in advance for any advice. | I take empty Cayman Jack Margarita bottles and re-use them with origami to sell in my shop. Is this illegal? |
t3_1p6hkc | relationship_advice | Me [19M] having a hard time figuring out if my [19F] friend from work really likes me or not. | Alright so the basic story is that I started working at my new job several months ago and I met this girl who works there with me. I wouldn't say that we instantly clicked but I always felt sexual tension when working with her. She also made it a point and still makes a point to say that she doesn't have a boyfriend and keeps talking about how she recently broke up with him. Anyways after a few months of working we started txting each other with her always initiating the conversations. One day she spontaneously calls me asks me if im free and says "hey i feel like doing something spontaneous, lets go to the beach together!" So we go and hang out it was a good time but we didn't really talk all that much or kiss. She is now texting me quite often and asking to hang out after asking me if I have a day off the day that she does. She drives 20min to pick me up without even thinking about it, and she cooked for me the other night at her house.
I know that from the outside looking in it's obvious that she might be into me but since I know she doesn't have too many friends I feel like I'm kind of more of a comforting friend that she enjoys spending time with rather than someone that she sees she could have a relationship with. I mean she has been in my state since high school, but mentioned that she moved from her hometown and was not lonely but saying that she didn't have many friends. | A friend from work goes out of her way to be with/around me but I can't quite tell if she likes me or just likes my company. |
t3_3d6lyr | legaladvice | Need advice on a potential debt | So back story first; a year and a half ago I called off a wedding with my fiancee due to infidelity on her part. In the fall out her family was seeking repayment from me to cover the following things:
1. A non refundable plane ticket for the honeymoon.
2. 'Wedding gifts' including a new stove, new cabinets, and a new counter in the kitchen of the condo in my name.
I foolishly said I felt obligated to pay them something back but never officially agreed on a set amount.
In the past year and a half her cat, which she has repeatedly claimed to be here has remained in my condo and has since destroyed the carpet. I have repeatedly asked them to take their cat, yet I get no response.
I do not have much surplus income as I have recently switched careers and spent a month unemployeed in the transition.
Now, I have come to find out that her father has filed a debt collection lawsuit in the amount of 10k dollars. This is far more than any amount I have ever stated was reasonable.
My questions are as follows: does that family have legal standing to sue me? Can I force the issue of having this cat removed from my residence as she on multiple occasions has claimed the cat as her own.
I personally am not in the best financial position yet to afford a lawyer myself if I do receive a summons, I have sent them money in the past when I have had, albeit not on a regular basis.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | I have spent my whole life working as hard as possible to be financially responsible and independent. I got suckered into accepting gifts and now it is back firing. |
t3_2nrz4m | relationships | My (m19) ex (f17) left me because I left to Mexico for business and became a little distant and busy so she cheated and left | Basically after i left she became super depressed after we were together a year and a half and after I left it hit her really hard and she tried telling me Alot and I tried helping but I couldn't see how I could other then to call and Skype her eventually it took it's toll and she cheated and left me... She tells her friends she still loves me and that she wants a future but right now she can't stand that I was so careless and that she doesn't love this new guy and that she wants to see others to see if I am the one sooo I'm not sure what to do cause she doesn't think I really love her but I do and if I became distant it was because I was so overwhelmed with what was going on in Mexico with my temp job and family and I rarely had time for myself and I tried explaining it but she's not buying it and currently we haven't talked I'm about a month so what do I do? | ex girlfriend cheated and left me because she didn't think I loved her anymore after I left to Mexico and she still loves me and wants a future but doesn't believe I truly love her |
t3_2a6che | relationships | I [24 M] want to know how to tell my girlfriend [23 F] that she would look pretty with makeup, after her family had pretty much told her makeup is immoral her whole life. | Let me just preface this first: I think she's gorgeous as she is, and I think with her facial features she'd really shine with some makeup.
She's sort of warm to the idea, but not a single person in her family wears makeup, and her mom believes that it's 'a waste of time' and a bunch of other things that all sums up to 'immoral'
She has a few blemishes on her face (I mean who doesn't, they don't bother me) that she's **very** self conscious about, and I think it would do wonders for her confidence if she started wearing makeup.
She has had a few moments of very low self-esteem in our relationship (impenetrable, doesn't matter what I say) because of a previous 4 year relationship where she was pretty much strung along and lied to. Because of that, sometimes she'll go lock herself in a room or shut down and not talk to me over something like 'Babe, please don't touch me while I'm chopping vegetables, it makes me nervous.'
I want her to be strong and feel the best. She's a smart girl, but she lacks confidence, confidence that would give her gravitas in the work place and in daily life that I think would help her.
I think something as simple as wearing makeup would show her what **I see** in her, as she never believes me when I tell her she's beautiful. | Girlfriend brainwashed since a child that makeup is immoral, and I think she would look incredible with makeup. How do I communicate this to her without hurting her feelings? |
t3_2ky2fs | relationships | I [21/F] have been looking through my boyfriends [27M] text messages... | So as the title states I've been reading my boyfriends text messages.
To start with: we've been together for about 3 years.
A few months ago I had a bad feeling about one of his friends and low and behold I found out they slept together. I confronted him about it, told him I looked at his phone, he admitted to it (after a LOT of probing), things haven't really been the same since.
Naturally I don't trust him because of this so I still do look through his messages. I don't know if he knows this. I don't do it often and I just do it for my own peace of mind until I can trust him again.
I saw some messages this morning between him and his (also female....all of his friends are female) best friend talking about his house-mate [F/22-23?] and how she was "so fucking hot" and he was looking down her top. Nothing has happened between them apart from him looking at her but I feel like something will, especially since they live together.
Obviously, not okay with this. The thing is, is that I don't know how to confront him. Last time I almost had a panic attack trying to tell him that I looked through his phone. He knows I don't trust him. I want to confront him about this but I don't know if I should just break up with him and leave it at that instead of confronting him about it.
/r/relationships, what would you do? Bail immediately or confront him about it? | Looked through my boyfriends phone after finding out he cheated on me, also found he has the hots for his female house-mate too. Not sure if I should just leave or confront him. |
t3_154tzm | AskReddit | What was the most blatant scam / con job you ever witness unfold in a public setting? | Here's mine:
This took place around 15 years ago, at a local Tower Records store.
I skipped school with some friends so we could wait on line for Radiohead tickets (it was the OK Computer tour).
We arrived just before 5:00 am, and were among the first people there. Tickets were limited at each location, but we were pretty close to the front of the line- so we thought we were golden.
Just before the store manager opened the doors, he announced he would be conducting a raffle. Those who won the raffle would be first to enter the store and, therefore, first at the tickmaster counter.
Naturally, everyone at the front of the line was pissed.
But, strangely, some people scattered throughout the line were not.
These were the people who the manager was socializing with the entire morning (socializing- as in, over-the-top, attention seeking, high school social clique douchebaggery. Nauseating).
The manager went ahead with his raffle.
With a smirk on his face, one by one, he handed each of his buddies a winning raffle ticket.
I will never forget how blatant and disgusting the whole act was.
Each time he gave a person a ticket, he would say: "And what do you know, you're a winner too!" Then, they would all have a laugh.
We never got to see Radiohead on their OK Computer tour. Still pissed. | a manager at a local record store rigged a lottery for Radiohead tickets, so that his buddies would get priority at the tickmaster counter. |
t3_1d7626 | loseit | Intro/Getting back on the wagon | A bit of introduction: I'm a Ph.D student and I spend a good deal of my time sitting at a desk, reading books. This somehow does not lead to a super fit body. About 1.5 years ago I broke up with my long-term girlfriend (she's also a Ph.D student, though about 14 hours away). I realized lately that I had gained weight, lost all my hobbies for the sake of doing well in school, and become super boring.
I was a firefighter at one point, I used to run several miles a week and I lifted at least 3 times a week. Fast forward to December of 2012 and I weigh myself and I'm 218 lbs. What in the hell?! 218 lbs? Gah.
So I decided to do something about it. I started going to the gym sporadically at first. About 6 weeks ago I started going more regularly (5-6 days a week). I, however, wasn't watching my diet. This was counter-productive. I was certainly keeping my weight gain at bay, but I wasn't doing anything for weight loss. I thought I had lost weight because the old timey scale at the gym said I had. I bought a fancy pants digital scale on Amazon and I had lost about 2 lbs. I got mad, ate some junk food, and then got over it.
I'm now using Myfitnesspal to track my calories. I'm eating very few carbs and only in the form of brown rice and whole wheat breads. I'm lifting 5 times a week and doing C25K. I hope by August to post some progress pics. My point in writing this is that when I got that scale and realized I had not lost as much weight as I had thought, I got bummed, ate my feelings, but picked it back up and got back to work. If you fall off the wagon, don't worry about it. Get back up the next day and don't let your demons talk you into giving up. Every little victory adds up and builds your character and your body. | Trying to get back into shape. Had a bad day. Ate feelings. Got back on the wagon. You can too. |
t3_54mxdu | personalfinance | Where can I look for financial assistance to do upgrades on the house to make it more accessible to my disabled sister? (FL - Keystone Heights) | Hello! And THANKS IN ADVANCE for ANY input! X-post /r/legaladvice
My sister is wheelchair bound after a botched brain tumor surgery that caused her to have a stroke during surgery (THIS is not the topic for discussion). She and her husband bought the house around 10 years ago. The house has depreciated in value since their purchase which means they cannot take out a loan against the house. Her and her husband are both teachers, which means they don't make a whole lot. ESPECIALLY in Florida.
What I would like to help her with is some info on where to look/who to talk to about assistance to help make the house easier for her to navigate through. Widen the walls in the hallway, make the bathroom more handicap accessible, make the kitchen more accessible to her, etc.
Is there maybe a federal assistance program? State? County? She went to the University of Florida in Gainesville, might your alma mater have something to look into for alumni? Any sort of lead(s) helps. Sadly, her and her husband are at a bit of a loss as to where to/how to look for info, which causes concern and stress to my parents, which means everybody is just a big ol' fun ball of depression and hopelessness! :) YAY! | Sister is in wheelchair and house needs renovations to make it more wheelchair accessible. Is there any sort of assistance for home renovations for disabled persons? |
t3_1f6hew | relationships | Did I [27 M] do wrong or squandered and opportunity when my girlfriend [36 F] broke up with me? | My girlfriend took 2 weeks to break up with me. She said she needed space and she would not hang out with me. However, she would talk to me on the phone. We talked about our relationship but in the end she broke up with me. When she did she texted me the next day to see how I was doing. We work in the same place but hardly run into each other. When I saw her text I could only think, "you broke up with me yesterday, how do you think I feel." I called her right after and talked about my day. After a few minutes I tell her that I miss her. That its tough to realize that I won't be the man to hold her or kiss her. That it hurts to see her name on my phone because we no longer have that connection. I said I know you want to be friends but it is tough for me. She said that she felt awful. I said that I know and that it is okay. I cried in the phone and I told her that I will hang up because I don't think you want to hear me cry. It took me about 10 days to call her back. We got together to talk one day after that. She said this, " you hurt me when you said you didn't want to see my name on your phone. You pushed me away." What do you all think of that? Did I do wrong? Did I ruin an opportunity to get back with her? We dated for 3 months. I am 27 and she is 36. | I told my girlfriend after she broke up with me that it hurts to see her name on my phone. 3 weeks later she accused me of hurting her and pushing her away when I said this. |
t3_2ua4tx | offmychest | Firehouse Subs: Some Give Military Discounts, Some Don't | So this is completely the problem of a self-entitled jerk. That's why I'm going to vent to Reddit, so I don't take this out on anyone IRL.
Every Firehouse Sub that I've been to gives a free drink to military vets, which has made me a loyal customer. They've got great sandwiches, albeit a little pricey, and I like the look, feel and decor of the place. Usually I just show my ID and reap the rewards.
Today I decided to try a new place. After selecting my favorite--the Italian (large size) I asked if they'd give me the military discount while I pulled out my ID. The service rep responded, "we only give discounts to police and firemen."
At this point I can feel my face turning red with embarrassment. I'm not one to ask for discounts based on my vet status...I was just under the impression that this was a deal available at every franchise, and now I look like an asshole trying to get free shit. This wave of embarrassment quickly turned into anger. Why doesn't this store give vet discounts? I guess we're not on the same level as firemen and police in the owners eyes.
I completed the order, ate my sandwich in silence, and tried to figure out why this awkward situation caused so much anxiety. | I asked for free shit with my military ID and got shot down hard. Now I can never go back to Firehouse Subs. |
t3_13ayw7 | relationships | Battling trust issues and anxiety. I [22] need some advice on how to better control my insecurity becuase he [25] deserves it. | Me [F] have been dating him for over a year and a half. We are very happy together but we have been through so much due to my anxiety and trust issues.
My dad left when I was younger and in order to cope I isolated myself and accepted that all people lied and left eventually. This distrust for anyone became a part of me. In order to never feel that traumatizing pain again.
Fast forward 14 years I meet an amazing guy and he's so patient and I want to make it work but my trust issues make it hard. I've been to counseling. I was just wondering if you guys have any tips on how you've dealt with it? I get scared and start to story build and create a false reality which even if I want to accept isn't true I FEEL it and I get a pit in stomach and just hurt myself.
We're going out tonight with some friends and I really want to avoid this. At times I'll subconsciously pick out a girl I think is prettier than me and think he must be looking at her the whole time. I get paranoid and end up mentioning it to him and it ends bad because I ruin our night. When I'm not feeling anxious/scared I know he loves me and he would not do that but when the anxiety starts acting up its so hard to accept. Any tips? | Anxiety and trust issues make me paranoid and hard to be with for my boyfriend. Anyone been through something similar and have tips on how they overcame it? Thank you so much!!! |
t3_kbwhs | AskReddit | How important is education to you when it comes to dating someone? | Let's say you found someone pretty interesting/attractive that you'd want to date. Then you find out that person is majoring in [blank], or hasn't gone to college, gone to culinary/beauty/trade school, etc. etc. Would you change your mind?
I remember how a friend of mine (we're both in college) once said that he would never date a girl who wasn't studying in his field of studies or "up near his intellectual level".
His argument was that if he dated and fell in love with some girl with a liberal arts degree, he would have to "waste time and money" to pay off her debt because "she sure as hell won't be able to".
As a foreign student, I sort of understand because my country's society puts a lot of pressure on education. People tend to change their mind about someone really quickly if he/she didn't have a college degree (people without college degrees have difficulty marrying sometimes). So I understand this*, but it surprised me that it's like that here in the US.
Thoughts? | Would you not date someone if you found out that they've had "less" education than you? Or what you consider an "unstable" college education? |
t3_4d7y0m | relationships | I [22 M] am extremely insecure, and compensate by being controlling...help!? | Posting from phone. Throwaway but I might show this to my wife.
I'm a super insecure person. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone around me, and I'm constantly feeling like people are just trying to get away from me or are talking bad about me.
I compensate for my insecurity by being controlling. I tend to get really jealous of people who take attention away from me, and try to steer conversations away from them. And I can be super nosy and in peoples business (where I dont belong) to make myself feel important, or to reassure myself that people arent badmouthing me. If I get limited information, I tend to obsess over it until I get the full picture (if someone says "I heard someone talking about tou..." I constantly push the conversation back to that to find out everything they know).
I'll spare the details because it doesnt matter. Point is... | I recognize I can be controlling because of my insecurity, and I need to know how I can get better about it. |
t3_j7tpk | relationships | How to move on from mutual feelings? | I am 18 F and he is 18 M. We were together for a 1.5 years. I moved to Norway on an exchange programme two years ago and he was one of closest friends in my class from the beginning. We grew closer and our friendship developed into a relationship. We went through a lot of life changing things together (the death of family and friends, the pains of growing up, sexuality, emotional pasts etc.)
Two weeks ago I moved back to the states for college. We had seriously talked about the situation and both decided that we were ready and willing to try for a LDR. He was never one to really express feelings but two days ago he approached me saying he needed to talk about emotions. We talked about how hard it was to be apart, and how much we love and care for one another, and how, though we were young, we both wanted a future with each other. However, the conversation took a turn and he said it was to difficult to stay in the relationship at long distance. So it is over. We have both restated our love for each other but the break stays the same. I suppose my question is how do I deal with the relationship ending even though both of our feelings remain the same? How do you draw the lines, how the heck do you move on? | boyfriend(18) and I (f-18) break up because of new distance though our feelings for each other remain. How do I deal with this? |
t3_2ab56t | dating_advice | How long is too long to wait for someone | So I have been turned down not once, not twice, but three times by a woman that I have been talking to since March. I'm 29 and she is 32. The first rejection came after we had gone out on a couple dates...she didn't say I was good for her, but that the timing wasn't good for her. She was in school and I was understanding of that but I didn't like the way she had put me on, but I was still willing to talk to her The second rejection came after we had hooked up at my place after going out for a couple drinks and watching a movie at home. The last rejection came at dinner the other night. The woman mentioned wanted to get together to celebrate my birthday. We talked for a while about relationships, but she could begin to tell that the topic was focused on us.
She has admitted to looking at new women that I added as friends to Facebook and she is still attracted to me and has said that she could see herself with me and that if school were not a factor that we could date more. My heart wants her. I can't date without the fear of settling for someone when I know my heart is with someone else. I told her I would fight for her until she was absolutely convinced that we wouldn't work out or if her heart belonged to someone else.
I love her and I still have hope, but when does hope become delusion? | Been shot down three times, still have hope for this woman. Am I being unrealistic, despite her admitting that she could see herself with me? |
t3_3vmweu | relationships | My girlfriend of four months [17/F] isn't spending enough time with me [17/M]. | My girlfriend and I have been going out for four months. She is wonderful. Smart, funny, sweet, and attractive! How did I get so lucky?
The problem is, I feel like I'm on the bottom of her priorities list, and it makes me miserable. I want to spend time with her more than once every three-and-a-half weeks. She prioritizes school. And we're both taking very intense schedules, but I always seem to have time for her, and she none for me.
We've talked about it several times before, and I've asked for more time. She admits that she doesn't spend enough time with me, but says that there's nothing she can change in her schedule. She says she WANTS to change, but doesn't know where to make time.
I'm miserable. I don't want to force her to change anything, because knowing she is unhappy would upset me just as much, maybe more. I'm also unwilling to break up. I would be even more miserable if I was alone. I really really like this girl, and I want to keep spending time with her, but more frequently.
Is there a way to resolve this that doesn't involve forcing her to change or breaking up? If not, I'm going to stay sad, just the least sad of the options I've considered. | girlfriend isn't spending enough time with me, talked about the issue a lot, refuse to break up or force a change on get, how do I fix this? |
t3_1sh22n | relationships | I [f20] have been seeing someone [m31] that says he doesn't want an official relationship. | I've seen him around since I was younger due to him being really close friends with one of my older cousins. We'll call him Doug.
About a year ago, right after I had my daughter, her dad left me. I was very confused &hurt &ended up becoming pretty depressed. I ran into Doug &we began texting here &there, even went out a few times. He seemed very interested in me but with the way I was feeling about myself I couldn't reciprocate the feelings. I couldn't make myself believe this person that I was so attracted to in every way could possibly want something "pre-used" &I ended up writing him off completely.
I've finally gotten to a point where I have accepted everything &am feeling better about myself. I have been a lot happier with my life &the direction it is going. A few weeks ago I received a message on Facebook from Doug &my heart went racing. We started talking again &I was excited to be getting a second chance with better timing. We've hung out a couple times &I always enjoy his company. Just when I thought it was going great he informed me that he's not looking to be in a relationship. He's also mentioned he is worried that if we were to enter a relationship, my my cousin would be upset &never talk to him again.
I was a little devastated but I agreed to be just friends. We've continued talking &spending time together. Which might not be helping much because I can't stop thinking about him. He gives me butterflies, I feel so comfortable around him like I don't have to hide anything about myself. I'm almost convinced I should just stay away to avoid myself another heartache. But I'm like a moth &he's the bright light. I wonder if he's worried I'll just write him off like last time &is just being cautious or if I just lost my chance already? A part of me wants to stick around in hopes that a relationship will form but I'm terrified.
I'm mostly just looking for advice. Hopefully from someone who has been in a similar situation? | long story short he wanted a relationship & I wrote him off now I want one &he says he doesn't. Should I stick around or continue pursuing him? |
t3_3v6ht7 | relationships | I [20 F] am about to have a breakdown from working full time, attending college, and not having any friends. | Hi Reddit. The title of this post basically explains what my current situation is as of right now.
I have been in college for about two years now. I am currently taking full time classes, and I'm majoring in Psychology. On top of school, I am also working 40 hours a week at my local hospital as a CNA. I love being a CNA, but I know my overall career goal in life is to become a Psychologist. My social life isn't as exciting as my work life. I honestly haven't had a "close group of friends" since high school. I'm very shy, and when I do try to make friends I usually end up failing pretty badly.
Lately, I've been really depressed with everything going on. I'm exhausted when I get home from work, and usually end up falling asleep right away. I take all of my classes online because the school I attend is about a 40 minute drive from where I live. I've been getting behind on homework from working so much, and since finals are coming up soon I haven't been able to study for them. I just feel really alone because I don't have anyone to talk to about all this stress. I've been dating the same guy for five years (he's two years older then me), but he is finished with school and works from home. I don't think he can really connect with me and understand how I feel about everything.
I think I just want to know how other people have gotten through the stress of working/going to school full time. I always knew it would be stressful, but once you're actually an adult and finally dealing with all these responsibilities - it can really take a toll on your mental health. Thank you for the helpful advice in advance. | Currently stressing out over working full time/attending school without having any friends to talk to about it. Seeking advice on how others have gotten through it. |
t3_28iu6c | relationships | My [24F] boyfriend [24M] wants me to take first aid classes to help him, but refuses to do it with me | My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we recently moved in together. We've had rough patches but things have been going more or less well lately. Today, he brought up the idea that I should take first aid classes so that I could be useful / help him out in the case of an emergency. At first, I thought this was a great idea because yes, it would be nice to have this knowledge and help out people if the need ever arises. I told him it would be nice if he could take it with me, so that if the situation were flipped he could help me out, too. He flat out refused, saying that "he wouldn't be good at it" but he obviously wants me to do it to help him out. I really couldn't believe that was his answer and I feel like he's being selfish.
Obviously the chance that I need first aid / CPR and him being the only one around right now is pretty low since we're currently both healthy young adults, and maybe it will never come up in our entire lifetimes, but I feel like it's him revealing the selfish side of himself. Am I being unreasonable or reading too much into this? Is this something I should break up with him over, or is this a small issue I'm blowing up? Right now I'm just shocked that he would act like this. | boyfriend wants me to take classes so I can help him out in the case of an emergency, but won't do the same for me. should I break up with him? |
t3_34bzf0 | relationships | How do I [24M] tell a girl [21F] I'm not interested in her sexually w/o hurting her feelings? | A few weeks ago, I met this girl over tindr. She was not bad looking, and I tend to do a fair amount of right swiping anyway, so we ended up matching.
She initiated the first contact and started talking about video games. I'm way into video games, so I asked if she wanted to play some. I figured we could hang and if I found her attractive in person, maybe things would progress sexually.
She is not a terribly unattractive girl, but I just didn't really feel any chemistry or desire to make a move. I kind of feel like the situation is not the same in reverse, because she was laughing a lot at my jokes (which sucked) and other stereotypical flirting behaviors.
The thing is, she seemed really cool, knew about a lot of interesting indie games, and is generally the sort of person I would like to know, even if I wasn't sexually interested.
Is there any way to tell her I'm not into her that way, and would just like to be friends without it being either mean or cliche sounding?
I guess worst case I could just not see her anymore, but as a dude who is sort of new to the world of dating, I'm still learning the etiquette of things. | How do I tell someone to that I just want to be friends w/o hurting their feelings or being cliche sounding? |
t3_2t4c7s | relationships | I [28 F] am not sure whether it's over with my Fiance [30M] or not. | It's all so confusing and frustrating. We have been together for over 4 years now. He is a really great guy, probably one of the best people I've ever come across. He has a beautiful heart and an amazing mind. I just don't know if I am ready to marry him or even want to marry him at this point. I don't know if I feel romantically connected to him anymore. I know we don't have sex that often anymore, which is normal, I suppose.
Is this just the normal rut, and if so does it ever end? Or have I already checked out of this relationship? I feel like we are so different at times and perhaps those differences are really getting in the way. I find myself being bored when we go out together and having lack of conversation. It's like that spark has dissipated. Sometimes I feel like I don't even want to hang out with him because it's boring. Is this just what happens after 4 years?
I am sorry if this sounds childish and short. I don't want to write a wall of text either. I guess I am wondering if this is normally how people feel when they are in a long term relationships, or if I am actually falling out of love. | not sure if this lack of excitement, fun and happiness is normal in a longterm relationship or if I am falling out of love |
t3_2laqti | relationships | My ex-GF [18 F] broke up with me [18 M] after 1 year and 4 months together, for reasons still incomprehensible. | We were both our first relationship and we were both in school when we started dating. This period was amazing and the best months of my life.
However, after we graduated, I went to college (which is close to her house), and she went onto studying for a really hard college, meaning she would study almost 100 hour weeks and going to prep-school for that college, so I had almost no time to see her (I'd see her like 2-3 times a month), however we still texted all day.
But, as the exams came, I saw she talked less, wouldn't be as romantic and cute as she was previously. I thought it was the stress and the pressure she was going through. However, as soon as her tests were done (which I was really supportive of), we went out to dinner, and I noticed she was really different with me.
Later on, next day, she invites me to have breakfast. She then goes on to break-up with me claiming she's a whole new person and that she wants to think about what she wants to be in her life. It seems like she has forgotten all the great times we had and is now just obsessed with studying. She also said our relationship was hurting her study (even though she lost at max 8 hours a month with me.)
I don't know what to do with my life anymore, because she was the world to me, and now that I'm in this college, I have no more friends, no one to talk to and no one to listen to me. And even though I asked if we could still be friends, she said she needed some time.
--Just an extra: Her best friend told me it isn't about another boy. --
What do I do now?
Do I try to "win" her back?
Move on?
Just wait for her to be okay with us being friends again? | My first GF has been studying for months and decided to break up with me because she felt she had grown into another person. What do I do? |
t3_15lm7b | AskReddit | What happened to you on your best day ever of 2012? | As we begin to reflect on the end of the year, one or two days/experiences HAVE to stand out! What was your most awesome/memorable experience of 2012?
This year, my best friend moved to the other side of the country. To make things even worse, I had bought us tickets to see Rammstein in Denver, to which she could no longer road trip with me/attend.
Last year, my ex happened to move to Denver. We remained in occasional contact since he left, and were always on good terms after our breakup.
Turns out Rammstein is his favorite band, and he could never afford a ticket for himself. I had actually learned about the show from him.
So, throwing propriety and awkwardness to the wind (I just REALLY could NOT miss this concert...a member from my other favorite band had also just been announced as a surprise opener), I offered him a deal: my extra (floor) ticket for his couch for a couple of nights.
He was more than happy to oblige.
After the (amazing) show, we went out for some beers/conversation.
I don't want to be trite/cliche and say an old/lost love was reconnected: it was, plain and simple, just a night of absolutely incredible bonding, both emotionally and physically.
(Also, the 24-hour burrito joint by his apartment is the sex. This coming from a New Mexican.)
By the next morning, two people woke up next to someone they realized they could never live without, in one way or another.
To this day he has become my best friend, my long-distance....something, and just someone I can't stop talking with/thinking about (I'm a teacher. I've even texted him in class. Tsk). And it's such a great feeling.
Whether he remains my best friend or becomes my eventual twin soul, I'm just stoked to have him back in my life, and I owe it to this trip and this night. | Solo road trip to Denver, met up with ex, saw our favorite band and fell back in love with each other all on the same night. |
t3_2naxkv | relationships | Me [18/M] with my boyfriend [19/M], got into a relationship, but don't really seem to know anything to talk about. | Throwaway account here. I'm RadicalRampage, and I have a bit of a problem.
I came across this cute guy on tf2, I came out with my feelings for him, and since October 13th, we've been together. Now, however, this relationship is an long-distance relationship, but I'm gonna visit him on christmas.
Now, I've been worrying a bit, I'm not gonna lie. I've been playing games for way too long, and I don't really have a social life except school. The fact that I'm shy doesn't help either. Anyway, We try and talk a lot, but we end up not really knowing what to talk about, usually ending up talking about games or sex. (real man mindset, I know).
Now, I really just want to keep going with the relationship, because we're just so alike. We like each both very much, but I feel like I could dissapoint him if I don't talk enough, or know what to talk about. Especially if we actually met irl, and we would just be sitting there awkwardly, not knowing what to talk about, not being able to truly get to know him or him me.
Anyone had similiar problems, or any advice? | Me and my boyfriend do not know what we can talk about when we have general talks, not being able to know each other better. |
t3_u9dbz | relationship_advice | My parents and I [20F] are disagreeing..again | First, a little background. I'm a college student, just finishing my junior year and looking forward to turning 21. I'm staying in my college town to complete an internship for credit and my boyfriend (of over 4 years) lives in a town nearby while he's taking summer classes at his university.
My parents are quite strict, but up until I went away to college I was the perfect little obedient child. Well, as obedient as any teenager can be. To give some perspective, my WASP parents are basically as strict as my Chinese friend's first generation parents.
Long story short, my parents found out I'm having sex and are basically forcing me to "stop" and come home even though I just found a job that will pay me $10.50/hour back at college and I haven't been able to find summer work at home for three years. Problem is, I have no intention of stopping and I really need the money. I don't see how their opinion has anything to do with my sex life and what's more I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. But I can't tell them that, because it will just make them more angry and less likely to let me go back. Their explanation of it is "if you were doing drugs we wouldn't support you, sex is the same thing".
I guess what I need here is some advice to help me face my parents and make them understand that I'm not 12 anymore. I love them, and I am forever indebted to them for supporting me financially through college but I can't take this anymore. I need to be my own person and make my own mistakes. | Parents found out I'm having sex, want me to stop. But I don't share their beliefs and don't think I'm doing anything wrong. |
t3_4avg3o | tifu | TIFU buying a bottle of blueberry white tea | Obligatory first post, post, cell phone formatting etcetera
This was last year, my bff was driving her and myself around and we stopped at a local drug / convenience store that we liked to frequent to get snacks and drinks. I got my favorite bottle of blueberry white tea, she got something.. less tasty.
Anyway we paid, got in the car, for whatever reason the cup holders were inaccessible in this particular vehicle. Nevertheless there was a spot on my right side in between the door and my thigh where I could stick the bottle to keep it safe from rolling under the brake pedal and murdering everyone.
So we arrive at the condo, and at this point my tea has slipped my mind, so ignoring my bottle I open my door.. cue my beverage falling out of the car into the parking lot and rolling many feet away in very few seconds!
Quick side note I feel I should mention, my parking lot has carports in it and each carport has room for two cars to park under it. some have to park in between one carport and the next. so I was parking in between two ports, which means I had a pillar on either side of the car
Back to the FU. The bottle shoots out the door, and with unique reflexes I lunge forward, extending my arm and slamming my face into the control console for the locks and windows.
Now I'm in pain, delirious AND thirsty!
Holding my hand over my face I shoved the door open angrily, which brought my door mirror into contact with the carport pillar and the rest of the door into contact with the pristine 1966 Chevy Bel Air that was parked next to me. | I bought delicious tea so it could run away and I would be free to smash my face and trade paint with a classic. |
t3_2p3c3c | tifu | TIFU by leaving my windows open. During winter. In Boston. | Let me start out with a little bit of context. I'm originally from the Panhandle of Florida and have never seen more than a few inches of snow in my entire life. I moved to Boston in August with my girlfriend. I stayed with my old job - but they don't have an office up here, so I've been working from home.
As anyone from Boston (or the NE, in general, can attest), it gets cold. Super cold. Colder than I've ever felt in my entire life. So I figured it was kind of normal that I was super cold when sitting at my desk all day long.
At first I tried to bear it, just said "I'll get used to it." But as the weeks went by, I started wearing slippers, then a puffer jacket, then a beanie, and finally I busted out some handwarmers. It's at this point that I just become miserable. Stupid New England. Stupid weather. Stupid girlfriend making me move up here. Why would anyone do this to himself?
I swore up and down that there must be a draft. There's no way being this cold inside is normal. But everybody just laughed it off, "Florida Boy can't handle the cold."
Until this morning when my girlfriend decided to work from home as well and commented on how unbearably cold it was in my office relative to the rest of the house.
So we started looking around to see if we could find anything. And whattya know...the top pane of the window directly above my desk has been open 3-4" inches since we moved in. It was perfectly lined up so that the blinds obscured the very top of the window and I couldn't see it.
We just closed the window and I swear the room has already warmed up by 5 degrees. | Freezing to death in my own house for months. Become increasingly agitated. Realize window has been open for said months. Feel stupid. |
t3_reb5v | AskReddit | Any time I do something risky, I have an intense, realistic "vision" of something horrible happening. Anyone else? | For example, yesterday I crossed the street during my lunch break from work. It's a busy road, and as I stood between the lanes I could see what it would be like (from my own perspective) to get hit by an oncoming car, my view being spun around and hitting the ground. I could see the view of the cars swerving around me and honking with the pavement next to my face, and feel my body broken and unmoving. It's way too realistic. I also tend to have these "visions" of trucks hitting me head-on; it's like a slow-motion view of the grill coming closer and closer until my windowshield bursts, and I can feel myself being jerked forward and then everything goes black.
These visions always leave me feeling extremely anxious, and I'll just stand there with my heart pounding for a few seconds before I can get it together. Does this happen to anyone else? I think they started after I was in a car accident last year (someone ran a red-light and swerved into the on-coming lane, hitting me). It was all so fast and I couldn't even realize what happened until I heard myself screaming, and realized what had happened. That fucker messed with my head.
So, is this some kind of post-traumatic stress or what? What can I do? | I've been having realistic visions of horrible things happening to me ever since I was in a car accident last year. I think it's PTS. What can I do? |
t3_owr30 | relationships | Boyfriend chews with his mouth open. It's gross and I hate it. How can I get him to stop? | Background: Ever since I can remember, I've always hated eating with my dad because he chews with his mouth open and makes loud lip-smacking noises. IT BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME, to the point where I get so irritated that I can't even speak. To the point where I've thought about going to a shrink to help me sort out this one, specific issue. It's the only thing I feel this way about: loud chewing. Sue me.
Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and I love the shit out of him. However, recently, he started chewing loudly. Over the past month or so, I've grown to hate eating with him, especially in quiet settings (like when we make breakfast in the morning, which I used to love doing) because it makes me feel hot burning rage.
How can I get him to stop? I feel weird just saying "Chew with your mouth closed" because I feel like that's offensive or rude; we're also generally non-judgemental of each other's idiosyncracies, so I just feel guilty for feeling this way at all. Help? | Boyfriend chews loudly. I hate it with my soul. But I love him. How can I get him to stop chewing loudly? |
t3_12bf5b | offmychest | I'm too insecure | If this makes sense to any of you, i'm too insecure to admit to loved ones that I'm insecure. I'm insecure about my body, and abilities in academics. I mostly won't admit to my parents that i'm insecure because they would just say "No you're not" and blow me off and not make a big deal of it. I know that they actually know deep down i'm insecure, I suck in my stomach all the time, I sit so my thighs won't touch each other or look big, I do basically everything to keep anyone from noticing. The other day, my dad said i'm getting chubby, and he doesn't know how much I was hurt by it. He doesn't understand that I devote most of my time to keep myself from looking that way. The funny thing is- I'm the average weight for my height. I feel like my dad is just saying i'm chubby to make conversation maybe? But it hurts to be that girl that feels bigger than the rest.
Academics- I have some kind of learning disability. I have no idea what it is, but I was tested on it and they can't sum up the answer to what my issue is. I think I'm old enough to understand this means i might be dumb, or i'm just not trying. I try as hard as I can to get good grades, but it never seems to happen. People dont necessarily *bully* me about being the duller one, but I stick out. I make fun of myself to get laughs, and move on. It *hurts* to fail a test when all of my class mates get As and Bs. It *hurts* to have a blank expression when the teacher calls on me and everyone else knows the answer.
I also hate to complain because every time I do say something like "Oh I probably shouldn't have cake, i'm trying to lose weight" they dump all of these empty complements on me. I know that my loved ones care, and I'm happy they take their time to tell me they feel badly, but saying "you're beautiful" won't make me shit out roses and lollipops. I don't necessarily enjoy it when people just say "you aren't fat" because I feel like an attention whore. Does anyone get me? | Insecure about being insecure, I don't want to be an attention whore by saying i'm constantly fat but I need to vent. |
t3_2qx6ia | relationships | Me [21 M] and [19 F] Boring Situation | This is a pretty boring situation, and really generic, but I always like opinions on things, so any opinions are much appreciated. But I was in a very short relationship (1 month) with this girl around 7 months ago, she ended up wanting things to end, but like most say, "we can still be friends". Since it was such a short relationship and we were really good friends before that, I thought that would be fine.
Since then she moved onto someone else and she claims this new partner was more "sexually attractive", and that I was "too nice", and I just kind of took it for what it was, and didn't expect anything else to come of it, but we still talked on a super regular basis.
About 6 months later we come to my current situation, she has a boyfriend of 2 months now, and somehow over time despite thinking "I'm over that shit", I've actually grown more emotions. I've been spending still a stupid amount of time with this person (at least 30 hours a week online), and when they're not around, I get depressed, end up thinking of the past, crying, and generally just feeling like shit. I really enjoy the time we share, and I know there's stupidly low chance of anything ever happening in the future, but I can't stand to just end things because of my strong feelings, and I wouldn't even know how to do it.
They come to me every time, not the other way around, she wants to spend time with me, so I really don't know how to get out of it. I really enjoy the time we spend, anything in the future is very unlikely to happen, but when she's not around, I hurt, and things are only getting worse on that side of things. I feel I should have gone no contact from the get go to spare emotions, but what is the right way to get out of this one, is it possible to have this relationship stay whilst also losing the emotions?
It's kinda important to say this is my first girlfriend and things are mainly online, although we have spent a decent amount of time together IRL. | Split up with girl of 1 month 6 months ago, convinced myself staying friends would be good, now facing depression and see no clear way out. |
t3_1qkoep | relationships | Me [25 M] 'dating' [23 F] with anxiety problems for 2 weeks now, what do? | Hi, (first reddit post ever! Been lurking for a few months)
So, I've recently started dating again after getting out of a rather unhealthy relationship that was based mainly on needing each other to find lodging for Uni and the joined fondness of sex and drugs... Yeah...
Anyways, I met this girl a while back and we seemed to hit it off on the right foot. She's very attractive and I think she's attracted to me as well, or she atleast acts like it. But no one can ever be without flaws. Hers is something I have not encountered before, anxiety problems.
I've asked her on a date twice, and initially she's agreed to come both times. She was very excited when I asked but when she thinks about it for more than a day she gets scared and calls it off because it stresses her out so much she can't sleep.
So yeah, that kind of sucks.. We've talked about it and she told me to have patience with her. She told me she finds me attractive as well and thinks it's lovely that I'm into her. She also explicitly said that she loves the fact that I think about her whenever I come up with an idea and really likes that I asked her out. But we never actually get to the date because she's so stressed out about it every time.
Now, I'm all game for playing the waiting game and waiting for her to get comfortable with me. But... Because I'm naturally impatient I was wondering if any of you guys know any tips here. I.E. How can I proactively make her feel more at ease about this situation? She seems to like me and I like her so... Yeah. | Boy likes girl, girl likes boy. Girl has anxiety and stresses out after getting happy and excited about going on a date with boy. What can boy do to work make her feel more at ease with the prospect of dating him? |
t3_4ejngw | relationships | Me [28 M] with my Wife [26 F] - Separate Vacations with friend | So my wife and I met in 2010 and were married in 2015. I'm 28 and I'm interested in taking a vacation without her with my close friend (also a Male). My friend (single) and I have known each other our entire life, best friends since 1st grade. This is the guy that has all but taken a bullet for me. Anyways, our whole life we have talked about scuba-diving in Mexico together when we get older (i.e. have jobs and money). Well, fortunate for us these criteria are going to met for the first time ever, this year. I've talked to my wife about taking these trips with him (~4-6 days) and she has a number of concerns. (1) It's weird for me to go to Mexico without her (2) I'm spending our money on a trip just for me and (3) I'm taking vacation away from us.
My question is, is this really so selfish that my history (or life) does not justify it?
Communication details: Before we got married I told her about the history my friend and I had (i.e. we promised to have these trips until we die). Since we've been married I've talked about it, but haven't acted on it. I'm starting to get concerned if we don't start now we will never do it. I'd love to hear someone on here say "It's ok, go! Here why. Excellent argument etc..." | My lifelong friend (who's single) and I have had scuba-diving trips to Mexico planned our whole life, is it ok to go without my wife? |
t3_3ts7db | relationships | My(39/M) on again/off again GF(33/F) broke up with me, Aborted my child. Now she wants back, and stupid me want to let her back | Am not sure why am posting here, but I feel like a dick. My on-again, off-again ex-gf (32f) broke up with me (39m) two months ago after saying she's not feeling chemistry. Then a week after breaking up with me, she found she was pregnant, I wanted the kid but she decided to abort.
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I told her some choice words and she blocked my phone and unfriended me on facebook but after one month, I convinced her we can be friends and she unblocked me and friended me again.
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Today she texted me saying she wants to hang out. I said yes and she came to my place to watch netflix.
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Then I ask her how she has been doing, she says she went on a 3 dates. One guy basically forced her to have sex with him. She had sex with him (with condom) on the second date. Then last Friday, she had sex with him again (without condom).
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I am still shocked she would tell me that. I Googled the guy and found I worked with him 8 years ago in the same company. He actually comes from the same country I come from but we live in the Midwest (US)
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The first problem is I still like this girl.
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The second problem is I have not had any luck with dating since she left me. I've only had two terrible dates in-spite of going to pof, okcupid and even craigslist numerous times. I have a successful career and don't think am that ugly for a black guy. (anyway, thats for another day).
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Reddit. I need an objective view here please. Do I let her back? My brain says No, given what she did to me and risk of STDs, but I am so lonely that am actually considering letting her back. I am hating myself for thinking of letting her back or even talking to her.
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Reddit. What should I do? | GF left me, aborted my kid, went and slept with a guy I worked with, Now she wants back. I hate myself for wanting to let her back |
t3_37jk1y | relationships | Me [18,M] and my girlfriend [18,F] we've been dating for 2 years are slowly being torn apart by jealousy issues. Just need some advice before we both go insane. | This all started about a week ago, my parents threw a graduation party at my house for friends and family to come. Their at the party my parents invited a couple of girls I mostly avoid as they very openly hit on me. They just so happened to say something to me about me in front of my gf sending her into a rage. Now I don't how I was supposed to stop them from talking about me but apparently it was my fault it happened.
Flashforward a couple days and I have my crew banquet, like rowing. A girl named let's say Jay, asks my mom to take a picture of me and her using my phone and to send the picture to her. My mom sends it and afterwords deletes the pictures to keep me out of trouble with my gf, shout out to my mom.
Go forward another week my gf sees a text from Jay and sees that it says there is a message from Thursday the day of the banquet. She asks me "so how often do you text Jay" and me forgetting completely about my mom sending the pictures I say "not in months, why?" Well now she figures I'm hiding something and thinks I talk to all these other chicks behind her back. Which is very untrue. | Gf sees text from friend thinks I'm lying to her and talking to girls behind her back. And this is causing a rupture in our relationship. |
t3_3rnt4f | relationships | My [32M] wife [27f] told me that if she would have known my sexual history before we got serious, she would have never dated me because it is a "deal breaker". | In context, I am a high school teacher and we had discussed sexual education that day in class. I was talking to my wife about it as we were putting our 2 month old son to bed, when the topic of how we were going to approach sexuality with him came up.
I am personally a very big fan of educating kids early (as they do in the Netherlands and other European countries), but my wife is from the Southern US and has a very conservative, "shame shame" view of sex. Like, she actually thinks they should teach abstinence. I said that I would never want to present sex as a shameful thing to our son, and to arm him with knowledge to not make mistakes when he is making his own decisions.
Of course, my sexual history came up. I had sex with a lot of people before we got married (more than 100) and she was only intimate with a handful. This always makes her feel "icky" when she thinks about it, but I never know what to tell her. She claims only a person who lacks self-respect can do something like that, and she doesn't want our son growing up thinking promiscuity is OK. I tried to let her know that I wouldn't be, in fact, teaching my child to go out and fuck things, but I also wouldn't want him to be scared of sex.
So, then, in response, she said,"If you would have told me earlier in our relationship that you had been a player, I would have never talked to you again."
Now, this comment has had me feeling shitty for the past day. I feel like my sexual past is worth more than our relationship to her, and feel like she somehow regrets that she got in so deep with me. Am I looking too far into it? I keep thinking that it would be similar if I told her, "Hey, if I would have known you suck at cooking, I would have never married you." That isn't healthy, right? | Wife told me she wouldn't have continued being i a relationship if I told her about my sexual history, which makes me feel weird about our relationship now. Am I thinking into it too much? |
t3_1hshgu | relationships | Me[28M] with my girlfriend[26F] of 4 years. Trouble trusting/needing. This is a me thing. | So, obviously I am embarrassed about this issue (see u/). That probably is a related issue.
Anyway, this might not even be the correct sub for this question, but I figure it's a fine place to start.
The crux of the problem is that I have bad anxiety/insecurity when I don't hear from my SO. It's not all the time, mind you, but often enough that I am hurting. I have had this my whole life, I suppose. These feelings of insecurity. And I recall having them with my two previous GFs, though they were short lived (~4months per). And I didn't notify them of these feelings, as I haven't really notified my current GF of these feelings. I feel like she shouldn't have to change her laid back lifestyle in which she is not attached to her phone. She doesn't have a smart phone, and doesn't want one.
So there's the "intro." I guess to add I would say that I mostly want to know what I can do to make these feelings go away, because just talking myself through an hour or so of unanswered texts is pretty rough at times. I *know* she isn't cheating on me, but for some reason I still feel insecure when she doesn't respond to my texts.
Basically I know that I am in the wrong, and being an insecure little b*****. I have been trying to work these feelings out on my own because I don't want to make her constantly be on the phone to 'let me know' what she is up to so I am not worried about whatever. I'm not even sure what I am worried about. Maybe that she doesn't love me as much as I love her, definitely an aspect of me not feeling worthy of this blissful feeling of being with her.
I've considered counseling, but don't have that money or time to really do it. Though I am about to change situations and can probably afford it, so if that is the suggestion I will look into it. I hoped to fix this on my own, but after 4 yrs I think I may have some underlying issues that need working out. | Have feelings of insecurity and neediness towards my GF in really stupid things. She doesn't know. I have tried self-fixing, not gone very far. Any advice? |
t3_aj9yq | AskReddit | As a skilled, educated, career worker, how do you look upon unskilled work or minimum wage jobs? | This is a two part question, really. First I wonder how other "white collar" or skilled "blue collar" workers think of the idea of working retail or food service type jobs. I'm sure most of us at some point or another have worked in retail (like cashier, not management) , food services (particularly fast food), etc. What if you had to go back?
Wages aside, I must admit that I feel "too good" for such work now. Or just overqualified. Like it would be a waste of my time and skills. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for anyone willing to work for an honest buck, but I would personally feel so ashamed to be working in such a job again. I did my time at Walmart years ago, pushing carts, running registers, stocking shelves. The idea of going back is akin to going back to High School to me.
Second part of the question, do any of you redditors have dreams of going back to that old part-time job? I do. In fact, I would say I am haunted by such dreams. At least twice a month, on average, I have dreams of going back to work at Walmart. I feel so degraded in the dreams. Like I'm better than that, but for some reason I need the cash. In the dreams I think of all kinds of ways to rationalize it. Like I need the extra money, but that's stupid because a full day on such a job would barely net me what I could make in one hour at my current job. | Does anyone else have these dreams of going back to your old part-time job? How does it make you feel? |
t3_2y8uyd | tifu | TIFU by falling asleep after a big party | So a girl I used to hook up with showed up at our party last night looking incredibly hot. We ended up talking a lot throughout the night and hanging out. I've been on like a 7 month drought here so I was extra horny when she showed up. I ended up leaving and got dropped off at my place after we got food. I guess I blacking out because I don't remember the ride home. I just woke up and looked at my phone to see what I had said and I had like 10 missed calls and 20 texts. All of the missed calls are from the girl. I look at the texts and they are basically all from her. I start reading and she is absolutely shitfaced and I can't tell what the hell she was trying to say.
I started to remember our conversations and realized she wanted to come spend the night. I realized I just missed a chance to finally end this fucking drought. So I get out of bed and clean up my room and go to take out the trash.....
AND I OPEN MY FRONT DOOR AND THERE SHE IS PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR IN THE HALLWAY OF MY APARTMENT.
She's currently sleeping it off in my bed right now but I bet she's going to wonder why she's waking up fully clothed in my bed. I really hope she doesn't remember dying in the hallway out there lol. | I passed out before a girl that wanted to fuck me came to my door and ended up passing out in my hallway. Oops. |
t3_3t1rit | relationships | My [24 F] new cubicle mate [40s M] openly farts | My office is currently going through a space crunch and has placed a senior worker in my office as an emergency measure. A pairing between a younger girl and an older guy would normally be really weird but management contacted my specifically to tell me that it was an emergency short-term thing and that when I made it was over I would get a raise. So, weird situation but I couldn't complain about it in concept.
He is an overweight man in his 40's. Normally he is very congenial and professional so under normal circumstances things would be fine. I should also mention that in all other areas he appears to be well-kempt and have good hygiene. However...
A few days ago he broke wind really noticably (smell and sound). I did not acknowledge it because I did not want to make it awkward. After that incident things have been spiraling out of control in that he is farting with increasing frequency. I don't want to bring it up in case it's a medical issue or something but it makes working in the office weird. He also must know that he's doing it since occasionally he add some little commentary like "whew" or chuckle at it or something.
I will likely remain cubicle mates with him for a few more months. What should I do? This seems like a weird issue to bring up to HR but I also don't know who else to talk to. Additionally, it's unlikely that anything will be able to be moved around due to the aforementioned space issues. Suggestions? | New cubicle mate farts nonchalantly leading to smell and sound issues in the work area. How should I address this? |
t3_3237o3 | relationships | My (25F) childhood was miserable. Suddenly my parents (55M/51F) are getting along and able to be in the same room. IT'S FREAKING ME OUT! | My parents divorced in 1997 after my sister (22F) had her brain tumor removed. All I remember from my childhood was a VERY sick sibling, stressed out parents who hated eachother, constant fighting and hiding in my room. My older sister (27) and I heard them fight non stop 99% of our childhood. After my sister's surgery, my parents finally divorced (which at such a young age we knew was coming for a very long time). A very long and awful story later, they drug out a custody battle over us for TWELVE years (kept fighting after my older sister and I were over 18). They were horrible to eachother basically my entire life. Turning us against eachother, manipulating us, talking crap about eachother nonstop up until about two months ago. They couldn't be in the same room and had to have seperate family functions completely. It got to the point where my step dad had to drop us off at our weekly custody exchange spot because it was so bad. All the sudden they decided to start getting along. My dad came over to my older sister's graduation party at my mom's house and was bffs with my stepmother (who she hates) and now my dad and mom are regularly attending family functions drama free. What I came to reddit for today is it is absolutely freaking me out that they are getting along. I feel like I should be happy but they have hated eachother for 23 out of 25 years of my life. It's weird and I don't know how to handle it. The whole thing makes me really, really uncomfortable. Help? Suggestions? | Mom and dad hate eachother. Suddenly they are getting along...I'm so weirded out. Need help. |
t3_2dv4mt | relationships | I'm [18 M] having trouble with things to talk about with my [18/F] friend. | One of my two best friends in high school has moved away to attend college, and we usually have a text conversation about once every two weeks. She just texted me "Can we try to call each other at least once a week?" I'm totally open to the idea, she's been a great friend to me and I think I've been a great friend to her. We have extremely similar personalities, which at times is great, but this isn't one of those times because we aren't very talkative people.
I was thinking that if we had some kind of "assignment" (not sure what else to call it) that we could talk about once a week it would make our calls feel more substantial, because at the moment I sense that they will be empty. Not that we would lack things to talk about, but that we would lack meaningful things to talk about. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm pretty hopeless right now. | Friend wants to talk over the phone at least once a week. We both aren't very talkative, so I worry the calls will feel empty. |
t3_14za80 | pettyrevenge | "Want to cheat off my exam? Sure, take a look." | I have a lifelong ~~perverted~~ **rightful** sense of justice so hopefully I'll be at home on this subreddit. My first story:
Years ago in my high school AP economics class I was assigned to sit in the corner of the room where I was flanked by a handful of very popular, *very* lazy kids. After every exam the teacher would announce (much to my chagrin) my "high score" to the class.
After a particularly challenging exam where I only scored 93%, the teacher announced that the guy to my right (let's call him Matt) had ALSO scored 93%, his friend behind him 90%, and the friend behind HIM 90%! Needless to say I vacillated between self-doubt and suspicion for a few days before I finally "congratulated" one of the 90%'ers on his score. With an impish grin he admitted that his friend Matt had been cheating off me for months and "thanked" me for helping "so many people do so well" in the class. The petty revenge gears started turning in my head for what seemed like ages before I replied "no problem, I'm just glad to help!"
At the next exam I put my my paper in very clear view of Matt. He had been told that I was now willing to "help" him and his friends. I circled all wrong answers while making a special mark for the correct ones. Just before the time was up, I quickly changed my answers back when nobody was looking, turned in my exam, and smugly walked back to my seat.
What I didn't know at the time was that the cheating conspiracy didn't just involve the kids sitting next to me, but that my answers were written down and forwarded to the next 4 periods, all of which took an identical test.
One week later a record 22 people failed the exam. Matt empathetically remarked "Oh man, Accidentally_Upvotes, did you fail too!?" I flipped over my sheet: **100%**.
Nobody ever cheated off me in that class again. | Discovered a conspiracy of students cheating off me in high school. Purposefully misled them at the next exam and caused a record number of students to fail. |
t3_1csn25 | relationships | f[15] digs me but wont go out with m[15] #teenageproblems | I have been talking to this girl for about one month now and we know we fancy each other so I popped the question "Do you want to go out with me" like all the other teens in my year do her reply was "maybe, this means I would like to just not right now", I know that she is interested in me, but how can I make her more interested?
We normally talk for hours on end so I thought I might stop talking to her that much and try and make her want me, though I'm not sure if this will work not. **Any tips would be great, much appreciated. | We fancy each other but she isn't "100%" sure she wants to go out with me, how can I get her to this "100%"? |
t3_11xf9l | AskReddit | Today I discovered once again someone attempted to break into my home for the third time in the past two years. What, if anything, has made you absolutely hate or be scared of where you are living? | I live in the "Bad part of town". Last Thursday I heard a crash and was startled awake thinking it was my loud mouthed cat with a two am snack but today discovered someone had been slamming on the side door to my garage in attempt to break in. This is the third time my house has been broken into/almost and the fifth attempt on any house in my neighborhood in the last three months.
Today, after taking my garbage out to the bin on the side of my home I quickly realized what I had really heard. Last Thursday around 2 A.M. I was startled awake by a large crash and my cat screaming in his "wake the fuck up bro, I caught you a present!" voice. I quickly got up and flip on the hall light, which in turn floods light outside to the window RIGHT by the garage door in question. Apparently scaring away the person.
The reason I didn't discover it until today is I had left Friday morning and didn't return until yesterday evening on a trip. Nothing had happened since. | Awoken to a crash thinking it was my cat with a treat only to days later discover my side garage door had significant damage due to someone trying to break in. |
t3_2tgyom | relationships | Me [27 M] with my friend [29 M] trying to help him get over ex-girlfriend - how can I help? | Hey all,
Posting on a throwaway and changed some details around to avoid discovery.
My friend used to go out with this girl, let's call her Meg. They were in a pretty serious relationship for 3 years, but due to a series of a factors including my friend losing his seat and a whole buncha stuff going down in late 2013 they ended up breaking up.
It was kinda mutual, but he initiated most of it. She immediately started going out with a guy almost a week after they broke up whereas my friend hasn't been so much been on a date.
He's still internally obsessed with getting back with her, regarding his decision to break up with her as the worst decision he's made. This culminated in a near meltdown when he was defriended by Meg early this year on facebook after Meg got engaged to - let's call him Brian.
How can I help? He's been to a therapist and everything -which has helped a little bit but he's still obsessed with her. I don't think he's a threat to her or anyone else, as in he hasn't actually done anything to try and get back to her. But I just feel frustrated trying to help him because there's nothing I can seem to do. What's the best way I can try to help? Any advice you can provide will be gratefully received. | Friend can't get over ex, it's been two years since he broke up with her, I want to help. |
t3_2mjzr5 | tifu | TIFU by showing an antichrist video in my Christians foundation class. | Ok so the fuck up Happened last year. (First of all my school is a very proud Christian school which makes it worse)My friend and I were given an assignment to do a presentation on the Old Testament (I can't remember so it could be the New Testament) and my friend had the genius plan that if he missed out every lesson we would not have to present. I ran with the idea even though I knew that it wasn't gonna work. On the last day of presentations he arrives because his mum finds out and we had nothing for the teacher, she almost forgot about us until one of my peers told her that my friend and I hadn't gone, we asked for 5 minutes to get ready and we just went online and found a video about it, the video was 10-15 minutes long (we watched the first 2 minutes)and it was animated. We were just happy to hand something in so at least we couldn't get detentions.
This is when the fuck up happened. We were so happy that we had something ready we were not paying attention to what the video was saying and showing, until the teacher stops it halfway though and she asked us if we knew what the video was about and we just sat there in confusion. The whole class was shocked because the video had God beating up children and narration of some guy saying how bad God is. I still remember the faces of my peers and the teacher and also the head of religious education. | had no assignment to show to Christian foundations class, accidentally ended up showing an antichrist video to about 20-30 people. |
t3_1jazwk | relationships | How to hint at a breakup? | I [22/m] am planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of a year and a half [20/f]. I was planning the future and she wants many different things that I want, and I am ready to move on. It in non-negotiable.
With that said, I do still care for her. She was a great gf to me and still is, we just have different moral beliefs, and different dreams. We have discussed these and she is set on what she wants and so am I. Plus I don't think she should have to change to what I want, she can find someone who wants more of the same things she does. So, I am trying to keep it as clean and civil as any unexpected break up can get.
We have had our tiffs, nothing major, but we made the mistake of living together after 2 months of dating. Not because we thought it was the next step in our relationship, but because it was convenient for the two of us. I still think she will not see this coming. I have been planning this break up for a while, and have been trying to wait for the right time. (Her car was in the shop) Wanted her to be able to leave when I broke up with her. This weekend we get paid again, so I plan on dropping the bomb then.
My question is this: How do I drop the hint on her either earlier in the week, or earlier on the day I want to talk to her, so she can start bracing herself? Is there a subtle way to bring it up without starting a full blown confrontation? Also, what are some suggestions to get the conversation started, and to finish it quickly when she starts asking her irrational questions, which I know she will. | 22/m breaking up with my 20/f girlfriend. How to drop hints so she can brace herself? How to bring it up? How to end it? |
t3_35t5o5 | relationships | My [21F] ex [22M] is acting weird | We dated for 3 years the past 6 months were long distance. He broke up with me over skype at the end of March. He cried and told me he still loves me and I'm his best friend.
We didn't talk for a month until I texted him asking how things were. We texted and then he didn't respond.
Texted a week later asking if he wanted to get drinks as I would be back in town on this date. No response.
Fast forward a few weeks to Saturday, the day after I was supposed to be home, my sister saw him standing by his car outside our house. He had stopped by my house to pick up a game and then he told my sister she could text him anytime to bring over the Xbox. He chatted my dad up which had my dad coming back to me talking all nice about my ex. He also left over 20 games at my house and my sister told me he stood outside the house after for a few minutes.
I texted him a few days later telling him that I would've appreciated him asking me first before just going over to my house and if he wants to talk then we should meet up. No response.
Also, I was a bad girl and looked at his facebook page. A picture of me kissing his cheek is front and center on his page. Posted 2 months ago. I should also note that he goes on Facebook regularly (not stalking but his name does pop up on my side chat which shows him as active nearly every day) He changed his relationship status when we broke up so why hasn't he deleted that awkward photo? He posts occasionally to facebook so it's kinda weird that it's been almost two months and he hasn't posted anything to push that picture down. It probably means nothing but it still caught me off guard. | Ex acting weird, tells me he still loves me, then not responsive, shows up at my house, leaves awkward photos of us on his facebook page. |
t3_283so5 | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [28 M/F] for sevel years, it just ended, I can't cope | I've been stricken with panic attacks for almost a week now since my boyfriend and I started breaking up.
I don't know how to stop thinking about him and be my own person.
I couldn't work this week because the stress was overwhelming. I couldn't concentrate at my desk.
A member of his family just took their life, and having suffered depression myself, I took their death hard.
The only thing that gets me straight is weed. Telling my doctor this, she said that medication would have the same effect as weed, but antidepressants sound awful.
I feel a sense of dread all around and I don't know what to do.
I feel like my life is breaking apart before my eyes.
I have no one to lean on for help or support. Just him.
I have to make my own life but right now I'm finding it hard to live. I can barely get up, I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping well, and the panic attacks have been happening back to back. | Just broke up with my boyfriend and I can't cope/help myself/stop the anxiety or bring myself out of my depression |
t3_29yai2 | relationships | Me [23F] with my crush [26 M] of 1 year, why he only wanna meet me at night? | Well this has been very weird to me. However I am not sure if I myself could see this situation in a fair way, since there exists cultural difference concern.
Simply put, he said he liked me last year, but for some reason I refused him at that time. After that we hardly contacted each other. But I could feel there is still sth between us when we met and talked.
Nothing happened during the spring semester since both of us were busy with study. This summer however, we began to text again. He is going to leave the country in September and work abroad for two years. He said he wanted to see me, but I found every time when he mentioned to see me is "at night". I know he needs to work during daytime, but even weekends he still only contacted me at night.
This has happened four times so far, I haven't agreed to meet him at night (usually after 10pm which is very inconvenient).
I'm very confused because I actually have some feelings for him, so just wondering this- does he want to develop a relationship, or just an ONS? Why he only texts me and asks for meeting up at night?
I couldn't answer it myself in case of any cultural misunderstandings. He is an American, and I'm from South Korea. And he is a very nice guy, every one who knows him will say he is a reliable person.
Thanks for any help :) | He only texts me and asks for meeting up at night. Is this a cultural difference? Does he want to develop a relationship, or just an ONS? Why he only texts me and asks for meeting up at night? |
t3_sf2sd | AskReddit | Trailblazers of Reddit, to the rescue? - Bachelor thesis about Vannevar Bush and the relationship between technology, man and knowledge | I'm working on a bachelor thesis on the computer scientist [Vannevar Bush] and his famous [Memex concept] In the context of a research project at my uni I want to explore how we use computers and the internet as some kind of amnesia device that lets us forget rather than helps us to remember (similar way Bush explained it in [As we may think] but from a more critical perspective like for example [explained here](
I already gathered a decent collection of literature (the New Media Reader, some German books about the science of history in the digital age, Foucault & Derrida, many interesting articles ...), but what I'm now looking for are some inspiring and thought-provoking subreddits. I found a few relevant submissions in [/r/depthhub] and I love [/r/PhilosophyofScience] Any other ideas? Can be obscure and/or far fetched..
Thanks a lot! | writing a bachelor thesis on Vannevar Bush and his Memex, looking for thought-provoking philosophical or scientific subreddits |
t3_1lnogb | tifu | TIFU with a girl by turning 4chan into real life | Ok so just got out of class. For the past few classes this 8/10 has sat across the lecture hall from me. I was reading a post on r/4chan, link below, when all of a sudden I realized she sat next to me today. I'm reading this post about anon fucking up with a girl when she comments about him playing pokemon. Out of no where the girl said, "ah i love 4chan" Did not know how to react and kept reading only to burst out laughing at the post but she thought it was at her, told me if i didn't want her to sit next to me i could have said so and walked to the other side of the class.
In the end I know this isn't crazy but I feel like such a dumbass.
r/4chan post: | Hot girl approached, didn't know if real life, just read exact scenario on 4chan and ended up pretty much reenacting it |
t3_3tzlzg | relationships | Me [20M] with a girl [21F] I started sseing a month ago, worth continuing if she finishes uni in a few months and moves back home. I can't do long-distance.. | I met this girl on tinder a few weeks ago, we are both at university together, her in her third and final year, me in my first. We do get along well, she is really into me, and I am really attracted to her.
However I can't help but notice some red flags and think about the future even if it is all hypothetical. Her course means she will finish university in March next year, I wont be finished with my year until the end of May. When she finishes she will definitely be moving home which is about 3 hours away (a long way for people living in the UK compared to the US) and I don't know if I could handle a long distance for 2 years while she will be working full time. I cant imagine how much time we will have for each other with my studies, her work and the travelling time between us. I got back with my ex (who i broke up with before starting uni last year when i was doing a different course, which is why I am a first year again) last christmas at home and by the time we both got back to uni, even though she was only an hour away, I didn't feel like it was working because it seemed like such we were both dragging each other away from our lives rather than sharing it.
At the moment both our lives are busy too, she is usually away Thursday night to Sunday night at home because she has a job, and I have other commitments to field hockey which takes up my entire Wednesday as well as training on Monday evenings. I am just not sure I should be starting something now, if I even want to, as well as worrying if it'll be worth starting something if it will inevitably end in the future.
Any advice appreciated, or ask me for any other info. | Started seeing a girl a month ago, having thoughts on both our busy lives, separate futures when she finishes uni and I am here for 2 more years and my inability to hold a long-distance relationship. |
t3_1cd84g | relationship_advice | It hurts like hell when my boyfriend rejects me. | We're both 21 and we've been together for about a year.
My boyfriend is wonderful. He respects me, claims that he loves me, treats me right, takes care of me, etc...But he's the type of person who is not at all affectionate. He RARELY initiates a kiss, a hug, sex, etc...And while I'm not clingy or needy for attention or affection, it hurts me so much when I reach out to him and he rejects me. Last night I reached out to touch his arm and he withdrew it like I've got all kinds of STDs on my hand. Even though he asked me to stay over afterwards and we had sex, his reaction to me reaching for even a small amount of affection from him hurts me deeply. We broke up once before because he thought that I liked him more than he like me, so since we've been back together I've been very conscious about reaching out to him for any kind of affection. That's why I'm talking to you guys and not to him right now, I'm afraid that if I ask him to be more affectionate towards me, he'll think that I like him more than he likes me.
Now, before you guys tell me to dump him because of our incompatibility (I know, I know, I've read this advice many times before), I would like to know how I should feel about this rather than what to do with him. My emotion's all fighting each other and it'd be nice to have other people's input. Even though he is nice to me, does his behavior means that he's probably just not into me or he is just a very anti-affection person? Should I love him for who he is? How can I communicate with him to make this whole situation better? | BF (21) doesn't show me (F21) any affection and sometimes even rejects my touches. How should I feel about this? |
t3_2r8csb | relationships | I [50F] think my son [20M] is cheating on his girlfriend [21F] of three years | My son (let's call him Derek) has had this girl Amy (not her name) over while he's on break from college. Only, Derek has been dating a girl (let's call her Simone) since he's been a junior in HS. She's a sweet girl and is friendly, kind, very smart.
Amy slept over on New Years and they've been cuddling on the couch watching movies ever since. He insists that they are just friends, but I get a strong feeling that they aren't. I don't even think this other girl knows the seriousness of him in Simone's relationship... when my daughter brought her up in front of Amy he downplayed their relationship. He acted as she was just a friend.
Simone goes to a different school, and is not home for the break and is instead on vacation with her family. She'll be home in a few days before returning back to college. I have a gift for and we've made plans to get brunch-- we are very close, I've known her and her family since before they began dating. I want to see her, but I also sort of fear facing her now.
I don't want to be a meddling/overbearing mother. I also know that I don't know the full story. Maybe they have an arrangement? I know you grow a lot in these few years is hard to keep relationships going...I can't shake these uncomfortable vibes though...
I like Amy perfectly fine too-- I don't like that my son is seemingly tricking her too. She's plenty kind and I've got nothing against her. I don't want my son to hurt her either.
What do I do? | My son is very possibly cheating on his girlfriend, how do I approach the subject without hurting the girls or damaging my relationship with my son? |
t3_u4vgg | AskReddit | Wild Kittens Living Under My House | Reddit,
I recently got home from school at NYU, only to discover that a wild mother cat and her five kittens had taken up refuge under my house. As an animal lover, I was naturally delighted by this. My family and I would like to catch/adopt at least one of the kittens, and to give the rest to the SPCA (they're too young and adoptable to be euthanised, I think).
I have thus far failed to catch them, but I didn't think that much of it until this morning. Leaving for work today, I saw an animal carcass in the middle of the road. At first, I didn't think much of it because I live on a busy country highway and raccoons and such get hit all the time. But, getting closer, I realized with some sadness that the body was the mother cat's.
I had had several interactions with her, as I tried to nab her children and, though she probably didn't like me too much, I'd grown fond of our little confrontations, and so seeing her mangled body in the road was pretty depressing. I'm even more worried, though, about her kittens. I think they're still too young to fend for themselves, and since the mom died, there's been no sign of them. Any suggestions? | A family of wild kittens is living under/around my house, but their mother was hit by a car. What should I do? |
t3_u1k1c | AskReddit | Reddit, what seemingly illogical moral anomalies do you believe? Aka, incest is disgusting, but twincest is glorious? I'll start. | Ok, so, I believe it's wrong for people to cheat on each other in a relationship. At no point is it cool to go have a fling with somebody just because you're randy and need to get your rocks off!
.
That said, I have an exception. Bisexuals. It goes both ways. When I was steady with my girlfriend for two years, she and I both saw no problem in me getting it on with another dude. She thought it was sexy and fun, and I had no problem with it whatsoever. Later, when I was full time with a guy, I couldn't conceive of being with another guy even in a casual romantic setting, or a one night fling. Even a threesome with another guy would have caused me emotional distress. But I wouldn't have thought twice about getting it on with a hot chick at the bar, and would have thought my boyfriend was weird to condemn me for that.
I realize both the title example and this one are sexual examples, but that's what was on my mind at the starting of this thread. | It's horribly wrong to cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, but it's not really cheating if it's a fling with somebody of the opposite gender of your bf/gf at the time. |
t3_4dqsy7 | relationships | Me (22F) with my fiance (22M), is fidelity an unrealistic expectation in a relationship? | My fiance and I have been together 4 years and are recently engaged. Our wedding won't be for a couple years or so. I love him dearly and I know he's devoted to me. But lately I've been having a weird thought that I know stems from insecurity, but I think there's truth to it as well.
My fiance will likely age very well. He takes after his father (41M) and grandfather (70M), who are both very good looking for their ages. I, on the other hand, look like my mother (48F) who did not age well. I'm also overweight and it's not like I carry it really well or anything. Basically, I'm not an attractive woman and I don't really see things improving for me as I get old.
Is it therefore selfish of me to expect complete fidelity from my partner in the future? I feel like he shouldn't be bound to having sex with an unattractive hag for the rest of his life, nor should he feel guilty about cheating. I feel like this is something I should give him my blessing to do. He's never indicated that he wants this, but he could want it in the future when he's aging like wine and I'm spoiling like milk.
I just feel it's wrong of me to deny him physical attraction in the future. Am I being crazy? Is there a way I should bring this up? Should I not bring it up ever? | Wondering if fidelity is too much to expect in a long term relationship, especially if one party is much better looking than the other. |
t3_3zzqrf | pettyrevenge | A Dog's Petty Revenge | Wasn't me, but my dog. Last night she heard some coyotes howling out back and got all excited. I told her she wasn't going outside, so she then sat on the couch and sulked for a while. She came back in my room a little while later.
Around 5am or so this morning, she nudges me awake doing her "I gotta pee" dance. I get up and go to the bathroom, because I gotta pee, too. However, I notice that instead of going downstairs she goes right back into my room. I return to see that she has taken my spot in bed, and there's no room left for me, since she's quite the bed hog.
Well played, Teeva. | refused to let dog go outside to sing the song of her people, she tricked me into giving her a nice, warm place to sleep. |
t3_4mruv0 | relationships | I [21F] Want to Beat Up My Boyfriend's [21M] Ex [21F] | My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months, 2 weeks ago he opened up to me about this previous relationship of his and how his girlfriend was abusive. She would hit him, be very controlling and not let him to have female friends, and even pressure him into sexual stuff when he was hesitant/nervous about doing. Because of this stuff he has been hesitant about being intimate with me and even opening up to me emotionally or getting close with me, and I think it has given him some deep issues. I told him I want to confront her about this, and he said he doesn't want me to. I don't want to go against him wishes, but I'm really angry about it and want to do something so he knows that I care for him. I think that maybe deep down he does want me to, because I think why would he have told me if he didn't want me to do anything?
What do you think I should do? I want her to realize how fucked up she is and I want to cause her pain that she caused to my boyfriend. I've never been in a fight before and am not a particularly large or strong girl lol, so I am nervous about actually fighting her. Do you think maybe I should just confront her verbally? Or just message her on Instagram? I don't want to sound like I'm over reacting but please mind I'm from Chile and even though I live in the US now I am not exactly familiarized with this customs and how people act in these sort of situations, so maybe it's a bit of a cultural difference. But where I grew up if a girl did that to your boyfriend it would be normal to be that angry at her that you would fight her. | My boyfriend opened up to me about abusive ex-girlfriend, I want to confront her but he said he doesnt want me to. |
t3_1jc72x | relationships | [20's/M] just purchased 'the ring' and planning on proposing within the week [20's/F]! | I have a general idea about how I want to do it, without going into detail (because I know she browses Reddit and sometimes /r/relationships ), I basically have 2 options in mind.
-The first of which would likely involve me asking her in a public area, we are both quite introverted so this may be... a bit much for our... introvertness or whatever the word may be.
-The second option involves a more secluded scenic area, but I likely wouldnt be able to get any sort of "the moment" pictures taken.
Both options we have some sort of history around, but the public area place dates back to when we first started going out. So, I would like some input, also I'm just really excited =D. I'm leaning towards option 2 -> question -> option 1 to peruse around the public area and visit some places from our initial dates. | Excited to finally pop the question, 2 options to do so with, can't go into detail or she might figure out. |
t3_4tvvs8 | relationships | How can I [16M] be more confident? | I've lurked here for a while now, and it seems as if I have something worthy of a post now.
I'm about to start my junior year of high school, and I've had a lot of problems with being confident with myself, and especially around girls ever since the end of my freshman year.
I had a semi-serious girlfriend until the summer between my freshman and sophomore years, but during that summer she ghosted me and I've never seen or talked to since then (around 15 months).
Since that happened, I struggle with feeling confident with myself, although I have lots of great friends, male and female, I exercise and am active every day, and decently good looking.
But every time I try to talk to a girl I might be interested in, I lose all of my confidence and kind of shrink away. I am too nervous to ever ask a girl for her number or to hang out or anything like that.
A good example is that there is a girl who I'm working with for the next few weeks before school starts again, and she's really cool and fun to be around, but I'm too nervous/afraid to ask her for number or to hang out. We talk every day at work and I think she enjoys talking to me.
How can I improve my confidence and be more outgoing and forward with girls? | I have had pretty poor self-confidence for the past year and I have trouble talking/initiating things with girls I am interested in. How to improve confidence? |
t3_4a4ukx | relationships | My [24f] boyfriend [31m] is sad about his mother passing away | My boyfriend's mother passed away six months ago. Before she passed away, he hadn't seen her in two years. Both of them live in different countries, work a lot and my boyfriend generally dislikes travelling, so it wasn't his first priority to go see his mother.
She died abruptly from a heart problem, he was devastated, that was actually the first time I've ever seen him cry. I consoled him as much as I could, I spent time with him etc. Now six months later he just seems like he can't recover from it. I talked to him about it and he just told me he feels like such a "piece of shit" and that he was a terrible son - he never appreciated his mother, he got into trouble a lot when he was a kid, he got arrested a lot, he probably disappointed her etc. I tried telling him that she was his mother and that she loved him either way and tried suggesting counseling, but he just got upset about it, told me that "Not every answer to every problem is taking to a fucking therapist"
His work is really stressful as well. I wanted to go on holiday with him, just so we could relax and he could unwind a bit, but he doesn't have time. He leaves early in the morning, comes back late, has dinner, goes to the gym, comes home and goes to bed almost instantly, the few days a week he has "off" he's on his phone talking to his co-workers about their projects, on his computer working or sleeping because he's tired. I feel like such a horrible person for saying this - but I think our relationships is falling apart because of how stressed out and sad he is and I just don't know what to say or do anymore. I try to talk to him about it as much as I can, he just seems so reluctant to say anything about it. | boyfriend is in a rut from his mother passing away and his job. I don't know how to help him. |
t3_2nckwy | relationship_advice | I [19 M] am in love with my housemate and best friend [19 F] | I'm 19 and I am in college right now. I live in a house with 5 other people. We are all sophomores.
I live with this one girl, lets call her Mary. Mary and I became close last year, as we had all of our classes together and lived in the same residence. I fell for Mary the first day I met her, and I hung out with her to get to know her better. Unfortunately for me, we became friends and we ended up forming a housing group together along with 4 other friends. Right now, I consider her one of my best friends.
I know for a fact that Mary likes one of my other housemates. To what extent, I am unsure, but I know that she is attracted to him. He does not feel the same way about her, and nothing has happened between them.
How should I proceed? The house has agreed to stay together for the next year, and I don't see this changing anytime soon. I don't want to date my housemate, and I don't want to lose my best friend. However, I'm crazy about her and it really pains me when she talks about other guys. Please help me, Reddit. | I'm in love with my housemate and best friend, don't want to tear apart the house and/or lose a friend. What should I do? |
t3_2xkc6o | relationships | Is my boyfriend looking to upgrade me?! | This morning, my boyfriend [41] of 4 months and I [23f] were having breakfast together when his phone alerted him of a Tinder notification. I recognized the sound of the alert because we met on the app.
I asked him if he was talking to anyone on there. He told me, "no, it just said that there are people interested in me. I don't even use Tinder."
I later went to the washroom with my phone, logged into my Tinder, and attempted to check his profile to see when he last logged in. I discovered that he "unmatched" me.
I confronted him about that and he said he deleted me because we're talking in real life. Why was he on there in the first place, though?! Right?
I also asked him to show me he wasn't talking to anyone, but he had to leave for work. He told me he was very upset that I didn't trust him; he had tears in his eyes. He said lack of trust is the reason why him and his ex didn't work out, and "it was a shame."
We spend our weekends together, and what ever free time we have during the week. He told me, "when would I have time to see anyone else?" and that he wasn't even popular on Tinder when he used it.
Am I being crazy? Or do you think I have something to worry about? | my boyfriend got a Tinder notification, I found out he unmatched me, he got upset and cried that I didn't trust him, and didn't end up showing me his Tinder account. |
t3_3cebr1 | relationships | Me [25M] with my girlfriend [20F] 3 months, GF started dating/sleeping with older rich men for money. | **Background:**
I dated a girl who was/is a sugar baby. She hid it well and I never knew when she was "working." We broke up for unrelated reasons. We're still close friends.
I recently started dating a new girl. She's in college and is a waitress. A mixture of college and bad spending habits, she's struggling financially.
**Story:**
I introduced my gf to my ex. My gf asked her what she does for a living. She responded with, "freelancing." Later that night my gf asked me what my ex meant by freelancing. I explained to her everything. The website, the money, the activities, everything. Later that week she signs up for that website and goes to work.
She goes on 2-3 "sugar dates" a week. I have no idea what goes on during them. But I know she doesn't get home till very late. We're not exclusive so it doesn't bother *too* much. However I am the jealous type and I some times get worked up while she's on those dates. I'm just trying to think what I should do if I want us to become serious. | My gf goes on dates and some times sleeps with older rich men for money. I want us to become serious but not sure if that's possible if she keeps doing this. |
t3_1kgrym | dogs | My dog looked me in the eye today and clacked her teeth at me. What does that mean? | I have two small dogs, and both are recovering from fleas right now (Fleas are gone but theyre dealing with the left over bites, itchiness, soreness, trauma from all the flea baths and treatment and the unfamiliar chemical smells around the house and on them. The poor things are obviously miserable and uncomfortable and not themselves)
My little poodlely mutt was previously abused, but normally she is very loving and trusting of us, despite occasionally flinching and cowering if we approach her incorrectly. But since the flea treatment shes been acting like an abused, wounded animal, and looking at me in particular as though I caused her all the pain and disconfort shes experienced these past few days. Shes completely untrusting now, like when we first adopted her, but still will curl up in my lap and fall asleep.
Tonight i let her out, and after much coaxing to come back inside (not normal) she cowers and slouches back in, tail between her legs, and looks me in the eye and clacks her teeth.
Ive never seen anything like it, and i dont know what it means. As I type this shes asleep at the foot of my bed, but I cant help but be unnerved by this. | Dog is recovering from fleas and clearly blames me for her discomfort. Suddenly became untrusting and clacked her teeth at me. Color me confused. |
t3_4jsu8m | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF [25F] 4 months, has hung out with her exBF copious amounts. | The Gf and I have been dating now for 4 months and have known each other for 8 months. She had been coming out of a nasty 7 year long relationship when I met her.
During this time her ex was trying to win her back and is still to this day in her life. I told her at the beginning it was a bit weird that he was still around. However, I just let it go as she is obviously going to be working through some stuff still considering the length of time he was with her.
I know she talks with him still during the week but she never tells me about what they talk about. I assume he still puts the charm on every once and while to try and win her back. She told me she never gives him false hope and puts a stop everytime he brings up getting back together.
Recently I found out through a certain venue that she has hung out with him nearly every week, once a week since we have known each other. 8 months total. I did not know this, as far as I was concerned they just texted or at the worst talked on the phone. I saw a conversation a this week that said Him: I want you back Her: well that is not going to happen right now but who knows what the future holds. Which was kind of bitter sweet... she told him NO, but not right now... He is a persistent little bugger. | Not sure how to interpret my Gf's interaction with her ex... who is she stringing along? I found out she has been seeing him once a week for almost the entirety of our relationship. |
t3_2nvtky | relationships | Me [19F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 2 weeks; Tension between us due to his ex | I met him about 3 weeks and then became exclusive a week after meeting him. I knew he had problems with his ex and I will even say still hung up over his ex. They broke up about 3 months ago.
He's trying to work things out with her even though she's just a lost cause. She used him and cheated on her boyfriend with him (so I guess this chick had 2 boyfriends at the same time.). By what he has told me, it doesn't seem like she wants to work anything out with him. This has become such an issue that I had to tell him straight up she's only playing him....which caused him to have a breakdown.
I have pointed out to him that this relationship will not work if he keeps trying to work things out with him. So essentially I gave him an ultimatum.
He has tried to meet up with her to talk, but every time she makes these stupid, lame excuses to not come. They finally met up today, but I guess didn't go as expected and will meet up ANOTHER time to talk AGAIN. He didn't even tell her that he needs to let her go. I'm just so frustrated over that. I don't feel that it's fair to me that he's gonna keep trying to fix things with her when she obviously doesn't wanna fix things.
So am I in the wrong here or are my feelings justified? What should I do? | Boyfriend of 2 weeks still hung up on ex. Keeps trying to work things out with her. I gave him an ultimatum. |
t3_1ik3l7 | relationships | Help me reddit! My[25F] GF of 4.5 yrs dropped the bombshell that she wants to run away, leaving her life including me [27M] behind | Last night my GF told me that she wants to run away from it all and travel without me. I thought we were building a life together after 4.5 years together, which has seen us face the sudden and tragic death of her only sibling and more recently a 200 mile move down the UK to further her career.
I am gutted, she's said she is thinking about what to do and that she doesn't want to to hurt me as she loves me but she doesn't want the same things as me. I want a house and a life (but not kids), my business is taking off and I thought we were heading towards that life together.
So here I am, 200 miles from my friends and family, who are all married with kids or trying for kids, churning things over and over in my head about what to do. I love her so much, she is my life, everything i do now is done with us in mind.
Any advice reddit? | GF of 4.5 years has suddenly decided she wants to go beyond The Wall whereas I am quite happy here in Winterfell. |
t3_347qs1 | relationships | My [19/m] girlfriend [20/f] took pictures of herself on a guy friend's phone. Is this strange? | So this isn't some existential crisis or anything, I'm just curious.
My girlfriend spends a lot of time at school, and has some guy friends. I've never met them, just haven't had time. Anyway, on Thursday a guy friend posted a bunch of pictures my girlfriend took on his phone as "revenge". She took them as a joke I guess.
They were kind of smile, over the glasses pics. It made me uncomfortable, but didn't want to appear jealous.
I mentioned the pics casually on Saturday. She joked about how he left his phone unattended, so she unlocked his phone, took a bunch of pictures with it and then gave it back to him.
Am I overthinking this? Be brutally honest. It's sort of eating away at me. | Gf took selfie pictures of herself on a guy friend's phone. Found out until he posted them on Facebook. Is this weird? |
t3_4ovd8w | relationships | My [24M] fiancée [23F] brother [15M] was in a car crash and is in really bad shape. She wants to postpone our wedding that is taking place next weekend so he can attend | My fiancées brother is temporarily in a wheelchair, he was involved in a car crash along with his mother and he got the worse of it. He has several back issues, a broken leg, concussion, and the list goes on he is in pretty bad shape at the moment. I don't know what's causing it I think it may be the concussion but he fades in and out of listening to you. He is not paralysed or anything his back will just some issues for a while. My fiancée (23F) and her sisters (19F, 18F, 13F) have been distraught throughout the whole ordeal. Nothing and I mean nothing could calm her down when she found out.
My fiancée wants to put the wedding off until her brother can attend the wedding. This has caused a huge fight between us and while I wish he could come it's just not visible at the moment. We have already sent out the invitations, I have family flying in from Florida to Ohio for the wedding, we have the venue organised, everything is set in stone. I told her that we just can't do it because everything Is set in motion and the wedding is next Saturday.
How do we resolve this situation? | BIL was in a car crash and wife wants to put the wedding on hold until he is better so he can attend the wedding. |
t3_3ha2cm | relationships | I (25m) and my best friend (25f) are clearly in love, but she can't commit | I'll mention that i'm good looking only because I think that plays a role in the situation- so i'm good looking, she is good looking- two best friends (~5 years strong) who are both good looking are basically in love right? Yes, they are- and we really are. We spend nights embraced telling how much we love eachother. Kissing, playing. Everything a romance novel is filled with. Very passionate love that's palpable.
Anyways, i know her very well, and she has commitment issues due to a childhood experience- (i can safely say this as I know her so well). How can I cope with her to never really appreciate what we have? What can I do? | My best friend and I are in love, she can't commit to what could be the best thing in both of our lives- a relationship together. What do I do? |
t3_uk4bv | relationships | I'm jealous of my boyfriend's success. | Me: 21/f. Him: 23/m. We've been together for 2 years. When we met we were both at university and things went quickly from there. Now, he's done school and working at a job he got immediately after graduation. Things have gone extremely well for him, he got promoted very quickly and makes more money now than a lot of people do in their mid thirties. He also has a very nice apartment and car. Of course I'm extremely happy for him, but all the "luck" he's been having is making me self-conscience about my own abilities. I still have another year of school, and, although I have a very difficult degree, my job prospects afterwards aren't looking so shiny. I still live with mom and dad and I have no money for fancy dinners and pricy vacations. As a result, he pays for most of our activities and dates. He will also occasionally joke about being my "sugar-daddy" and he often treats me condescendingly, like I'm a child, even though I study difficult material, and am currently working 3 jobs to pay for school, and to save for eventually moving out. He also scoffs at folks who don't go to college and are unemployed. I am constantly reminding him that not everyone can afford school, and jobs aren't usually easy to come by for other people.
He says my "stage-of-life" doesn't bother him, but that sounds to me like he's compromising. I want to be with someone who feels LUCKY to be with me. I feel like I have a lot to offer, to the right person (I hope that doesn't sound too arrogant). Is it worth it to stay with someone you love, if you feel like crap about yourself?
Thank you to anyone who will read this. I decided to make a post because I've never heard of anyone with this problem before, without the genders reversed. | I struggle to stay afloat with 3 jobs and school, while my bf enjoys a successful lifestyle. He says it doesn't bother him, but I am resentful about it |
t3_2vdxr3 | tifu | TIFU by missing subtle hints from a girl. | So, this happened a few years ago, when i was in high school. This girl i knew calls me and asks me what i'm doing (we had a few days off to prepare for tests).
I tell her "nothing much, just chilling" since no one was home, she asks me if she could come to my place to study *(this should have been hint enough, but i was a moron)*
So, she comes to place in about 15 mins, we study for a another 30 mins and then she tells me she's done studying, but doesn't feel like going home.
Me, being the clueless moron that i am, take her to my mom's vegetable garden and start showing her all the plants and shit that was there, and ask her if she wanted to help me water 'em, which she agreed to. *(I promised my mom that i'll water the plants, so i was pretty fucking happy with myself, at being able to get her do all the work, while i supervised)*
But then, after every few minutes or so she'd go **"It's too hot outside, let's go inside"** and i'll be thinking *Bitch it's winter, how the fuck could you be hot outside.* So, i ignored her requests to go inside and we hung outside watering the plants and talking for a good hour or so, before she eventually gave and went home.
I realized a few years later, what she meant & why she wanted to sit inside. Just wanted to punch myself in the face. | A girl wanted to get it on with me, but i was too dumb to, pick her subtle clues and ended up watering my mom's vegetable garden with her* |
t3_21a9db | relationships | Me [25/f] roommates [24/f,25/f] are my best friends but they take forever to get ready to go out | How do I gracefully agree to hang out with them that night (which I honestly do want to do) but separate myself from them so that I don't end up missing everything I had wanted to do?
So, the way it usually happens is I'll hear of something I want to do. I won't necessarily have someone else to go do it with. I'll mention it to them and they'll usually agree to go. Then, they take foreverrrrr to get ready, eat dinner, shower, what have you. By the time they are ready to go out, usually it's not worth it.
I think they honestly DO want to go, they just suck at managing their time. And I honestly DO want to hang out with them and see them around town, and I hate feeling guilty for leaving before them when I don't necessarily have an appointment to keep with someone. When I try to leave on my own they feel like I'm trying to rush them and they get all upset. | Is there a nice way to tell someone to hurry the eff up if they're part of your crew? How can I separate myself from them when they're taking too long without being a dick about it? |
t3_v5yeq | books | Hey Reddit, I just published my first eBook! | Hooray! :D
Anyway, after a years of writing short stories and books and such, and after a less-than-successful attempt to self-publish a physical book, here it is: a not-as-of-yet-successful eBook for the kindle!
THE ADAKO REPORT is a science fiction / fantasy / nonsense book about a horrendous character named Joe Nathan Adako. If you don't like to read works doused in sarcasm and satire, then stop reading now! Seriously.
Here is the website: [
Here is a direct link to the amazon page: [
There is the first chapter freely available on the amazon page. However, this "look inside" amazon thing doesn't seem to format things properly. Etc. | I published a book. See links above. Please spread this around, buy it, hate it, complain about it, and so on. It's very offensive. |
t3_3u1kne | tifu | TIFU by leaving my edible in my bag. | This happened on Saturday night. I had gotten home from drinking and it was time to feed Bento, my 11 pound mini dachshund. I fill her bowl with kibbles, then proceed to fill her water bowl (which is next to her food bowl) with the water jug. She flinches as if I was going to strike her. Bento has never flinched like this in the 7 years of having her in my life. I find it weird, and keep an eye on her for the next few hours.
As the night continues on, she continues to flinch, be wobbly. Every time I go to pet her and rub her head, she flinches. Her head was never still, constantly moving. I become concerned.
I lay her on my bed with pillows and blankets and keep an eye on her all night. She passes out, and is SNORING. Think Shrek with sleep apnea.
Sunday we wake up, and she is 100%. Normal dog, normal life.
Monday evening. I'm at home pretty bored. I remember that on Friday, I was given a marijuana edible. I go to my bag, which was located on the couch. I reach in the front pocket, which was open. Its empty. I search the big pouch, little pouch, all the damn pouches. The edible was gone.
DING
BENTO ATE THE FUCKING EDIBLE. The bag was located on the couch, with the edible located in the front pocket. Bento is able, as small as she is, to jump onto the couch and just chill. Whilst chilling, she found my weed brownie, ate it, got fucked up. And took me on a roller coaster of emotions. | left a weed brownie in my bag, Dog ate it, got high, made me stress. Dog is OK. and wonderful. |
t3_ugbld | AskReddit | You can't go two minutes on AskReddit without reading about some horrible relationship story. Just once, let's hear some awesome things your SO has done for you! | Alright Reddit, I love you guys, but I'm currently in a long distance relationship for the summer and reading all these horrible stories about people getting lied to, cheated on, and all other degrees of screwed over is bumming me out! Just this once, I want to hear about the happy times you've had with your current/former SO!
I'll go first,
About a year ago, my girlfriend and I were in a few engineering classes together, and had just gone through a brutal week of exams. She's a pretty classy lady, so I wanted to take out her somewhere nice to celebrate the oncoming 2 weeks of peace before the next shitstorm. So we get all dressed to the 9's. Now for me that's jeans without holes and whatever button up I can find, but she whips out the big guns: heels, good butt pants, a lacy shirt with little patterns and fancy fashion shit. For whatever reason the only night we had free was Sunday, and by the time we got out we couldn't find anywhere super nice to eat. Stupid me forgot to check or make reservations, not like I'll make that mistake again.
But here's the cool part, after trying a few places and calling around, she just laughs it off, suggests we go pick up a take-out pizza and cheap cigars and relax by the pond close to my place. So here I am, all dressed up and sharing a slice and a stogie with my girl on one of the best nights of my life so far, and I'm still lucky enough to be with the lovely lady! | gf and I get super fancy and try to go to nice dinner, I botch the planning, she rolls with it and makes an awesome evening of pizza and cigars. |
t3_131b06 | AskReddit | I feel like a bitch because I didn't fight an old man with a knife | So this morning i was taking my girlfriends dog( its a 4 pound Pomeranian poodle mix) its cold so I figured screw it ill take her out in my pajamas (long sleeves/pants). When I go out I can either make a left/right and I look to see if there's another dog in a certain direction so I go the opposite way. I look to the left and see this old fuck a with a dog so I go right.
I walk my dog to the end of the sidewalk(without a leash because she stays by me). she can fit through this fence onto another un-occupied lot(fence sort of looks like jail bars hence why she can fit through it)...I like this because I don't have to pick up her poo. Anyway old fuck apparently followed me and I hear "SO ARE YOU GOING TO PICK UP THE SHIT" i turn around and see the old fucker and I say no. He says I better pick up the poo or hes going to report me for having a dog without a leash to the cops by taking my picture and report me for leaving poo to the apartment complex I live at as well. He proceeds to take his phone out and I think fuck it ill just pick up the poo.
So I grab a bag(theres dog poo bag stations near by) hop the fence and pic up the poo. I turn around and the fucker is trying to take my picture. So I put my hands in front of my face and rush to block the camera. Fucker steps back and whips out a massive knife. Some words are exchanged and I call him a bitch for whipping out a knife on someone in their pajamas and hes like fine puts it away and then challenges me to a fight . I didn't hop the fence to fight him because he had a knife/plus this would be the dumbest I went to jail story ever but now I feel like a bitch......Guy was like 50 easily 1 1/2 times my size and covered in tatts looked like some old biker dude. Would you guys have fought him? | Some guy whipped out a knife because I didnt want to pick up my dogs poo...now I feel like a bitch because I didnt fight him. |
t3_4ls0cz | relationships | Facebook Friend and irl acquittance [23M] posted someone's personal contact on his FB. I [20M] reported him. He's upset. | Alex was a classmate and at the beginning seemed like a very smart individual. But the more time I spent with this man, the more time I saw his ugly side. He was a radical in some aspects and beliefs and was against any form of etiquette, manners, activist movement that hinders what he considers fun. I, more or less, ignored that side because of different strokes.
I'll kept it vague so there is no debate in the comments.
Since summer has started, he's been playing video games and using social network as a form of communication. He'd usually spam my feed with his kill scores or victories and I'd just scroll past it, like I normally do.
Then I noticed a very specific post that raised red flags.
Alex had posted a photo online of a man that wasn't himself or his friends. The caption of the photo included the man's username, emails, skype name, etc. And that his friends should troll him.
I was disgusted and confused. The comments under the photo gave more explanation.
The man in the photo had apparently raged at Alex during a match. Gamer talk, slurs and curses were exchanged and that made Alex lash out.
I reported the photo to Facebook, explaining that the post promoted bullying and harassment towards the person.
I then unfriended him and moved on with my life.
That was yesterday.
Today, I opened my Facebook to several messages from Alex. Apparently, either FB told him or he deduced that I reported the photo to FB. Now close mutual friends and Alex are posting passive aggressive posts. Alex thinks I'm a PC hypocrite who ruined a joke/fun whereas other mutual friends think I'm letting a white guy use slurs without punishment. I can't win and it's leaking into real life. | Old classmate and Facebook friend posted a man's personal info online to be trolled. I reported it and he found out it was me. Alex and friends are pissed at me and it's affecting my real life. |
t3_2fa4kg | askwomenadvice | This sounds normal right? | I (29F) met this girl (26F) at a music festival...she came with some friends that I just recently met. We were all having a good time, I was singing, everyone was laughing...her and I had a few brief conversations and she was laughing at my jokes. We hugged at the end.
I left, we became friends on facebook. I made a comment on her facebook page that was playful and she was playful back. She mentioned she like Asian art. So I was just going to send her a message on facebook asking if she wants to go to the art museum and check out Asian art.
That sounds normal right? Or should I get her number somehow? | I want to ask a girl out, but only have facebook so I'm just going to ask her out on facebook. Women don't judge me for not getting the number first do they? |
t3_1urujg | relationships | Me [23F] with my [22M] SO of about a year. Is there ever a possibility for a fresh start? | So long story short, my boyfriend and I have been involved for about a year, although we've been a bit on-again/off-again as of late. We're both hoping a fresh start will be possible in the near future, but I'm not even sure how to begin. There's so much I'm unsure of, and I'm having a lot of difficulty letting go of past problems and my issues with distrust. Is starting over ever really a possibility, or are we more likely to get stuck in the same patterns and problems over and over again? We both want to change and be better, but I'm honestly not sure how probable that is. I'm afraid I'll still get hung up on arguments from the past, and I'm afraid neither of us will be able to adjust the behaviors that caused those arguments. Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? | BF and I are looking to start our relationship afresh, but I'm worried there's no such thing as truly "starting over." Advice/experience?? |
t3_gqz3m | AskReddit | What goes through a guy's head immediately after a breakup? | My boyfriend of 6 years just broke up with me because our life course trajectories don't seem to be compatible. We don't want the same things, which I get, and I guess it made sense to him to end it as soon as he figured that out.
But we still love each other, and were each other's best friends for the majority of our adult lives. We haven't talked about it at all, and I want communication, whereas he clearly wants to cut off all contact immediately. Could other guys out there clue me into what is going through his head right now? Is he ignoring the problem and trying to forget I ever existed? Is he even upset? What is he thinking about? I know I'm thinking about him all the time... | Just broke up with my long-term boyfriend and he cut off all contact without a look back. What's going through his head right now? |
t3_129bi7 | relationships | My gf [25f] of 5 years went on a 3 month exchange program in Australia for work. I [25m] want to fight for her but she says she has changed. What do I do? | We have been together as a couple for 5 years during college . I have known her for over 10 years since high school. She was with others but I finally had the courage to ask her out when I was in college. She was my first gf. We moved out together and I worked on my masters while she worked. The opportunity to do an exchange program came by at work for her and she was debating to fill it out. I pushed her hard to have a stunning application. Eventually she heard that she got it. She went and we talked a lot at the beginning but as her work got crazy and my work got crazy we drifted apart. We were suppose to have a 10 day vacation in Australia but I was sick the first two days and the shocker came when she broke up with me on the third day. We tried our best to enjoy the trip after that. She wants to be independent away from the couple we have become. She also said that she does not feel the passion we had before. I wanted to marry this girl. Should I fight for her? Currently we are still on speaking terms and she still sends pictures of herself when she is shopping.
Thanks in advance for the advice | Should I fight for my gf who wants to be independent now after doing an exchange program for 3 months. We were together for 5 years. |
t3_ppc6k | relationships | Is it possible to die of a broken heart? | I told my best friend (he is a 36 year old male, I am a 33 year old female) yesterday that I had feelings for him. He in turn tells me about the girl he is taking out tonight.
I have never been shy as to my feelings for him but I went out on a limb yesterday and told him everything. It was very hard for me and took a lot of courage. After we both spoke our minds, he said that he would not talk about other girls to me. He acknowledged my feelings and said he cared about me a lot too but he just wants to go out and hookup with a lot of girls but still have me to come to for advice and normal conversation. He also said that what we had was special and way better than hooking up with some random girl.
So he gets stupid drunk last night and calls me to tell me about this same girl again, after he already said he wouldn't. I started crying, he said I'm sorry, but I said that I couldn't be friends with him because he is never going to change how he is.
So now, I have to deal with the fact that while I am at home alone he is out on a date. My heart is absolutely broken! What is this guy thinking? Any advice and thoughts at this point would help. | My best friend (he's a guy, I'm a girl) tells me about dating other girls when he knows I have feelings for him. |
t3_4owgnc | relationships | I [18F] feel like I'm too busy trying to be a perfect girlfriend [20M] | Is it okay to be invested in your relationship? My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to a year. He's in the Army so it's already very hard. In the beginning there was an attraction and love, but it wasn't near as deep as it is now. Which is leading to more problems. I ask more for his attention, and I want to please him more now than anything. He almost consumes my mind.
I get upset easy. I'm a pretty emotional person and I'm very observant. In tune with everything. It's a curse I swear. So now, that I'm in love with this kid, I get even more upset when he doesn't do the little things anymore. The little things I notice. It's almost as if because I love him now I'm afraid to lose him so I'm becoming this crazy girlfriend. Something I really don't want to be. I know this is a problem. I don't want him to resent me because of it. Any advice on how to step back, make him chase me again, anything? Thank you in advance. | Is there something called too much investment? I want to be a great girlfriend without smothering him. Any advice would be great. |
t3_1k2uay | AskReddit | I need help picking a major. Should I go for something that makes money or something I'm good at? | So this might be long but I've run out of people to ask for advice. I am currently going to be a junior in the Journalism School and I'm on track to study Strategic Communication, specifically advertising. I've always been a really indecisive person and I knew I would have a hard time choosing a major. Lately i've been second guessing the journalism route because of a multitude of things, like people and the internet suggesting I won't find a job (I spend way too much time on reddit and it is SO anti-humanities), the fear that the job with be low paying, and the thought that I'm wasting my time in college and should have gone to trade school because I'm not in STEM. I don't want to be scared about my future job prospects. I'm the type of person that needs to feel confident about what I'm doing.
I went to talk to the career counselor about my fears and he was super reassuring. He said its best to do something you're good at and that "people find jobs" and I have nothing to worry about. I then asked if he would give the same advice to an Art History major and he said "Of course I would, they find good jobs as well and nothing is limited by major." Is that true? Because it scared the shit out of me. He didn't help at all by saying that. All I could think of was the old "have fun serving coffee in 4 years, blah blah" and he seemed to think Art History and Philosophy were excellent choices in major.
So the other day I came up with the idea of keeping my same J-school major but taking the med-school prerequisite courses as well. I know, you can't just decide to be premed, but I kinda did. Honestly I just want to have a financially secure future and not be worried and I thought it would give me a backup plan. Is this a good idea?
And then I looked up the stats for med-school and realized its hard as fuck to get in and my GPA is already lower than what most school want, so theres that.\
Does anyone have any advice? Major suggestions? I'm so lost... | I'm thinking about changing my major because I don't think I will make enough money as I could in other areas, but I'm realizing other areas may now be out of reach. |
t3_197joc | relationships | GF[19] broke up with me [19] after being together for 3 years, says there is hope for us in the future. Is this possible? | the breakup didn't come out of the blue. In truth it was probably for the best. Our relationship was not healthy. We were too reliant on each other, had some trust issues, we were unmotivated and just lazy. but there was love there. She says we each need time to figure out who we are, and just become healthy in general.
When we had met she was in a very dark place - eating disorders, extremely depressed, no confidence etc. But over time with us dating she claims I had "saved her." And when we broke up she said after we both did what we needed to do, whether it takes months or years, she would be happy to try again.
I would like to know if it's possible once we both find ways to live on our own, obtain a healthy mind-state and figure out what we want in life, if it's possible to go back to a relationship like that. | gf broke up with me, says she would like to try again sometime when we are both healthy - does this ever work? |
t3_2cfiu8 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of four years, shes doesn't love me anymore | We started dating pretty young. Moved in together after a few months and were inseperable. We have the same friends and care for them very much.
About 4 months back she moved to the countryside (120km, 1,5hr drive) to stay at her parents farm and work at a local nursery home. I stayed in our home to work at a nearby plant, I worked hard, about 220 hrs in the last month. She also worked hard and we rarely had the time to talk or see eachother, but we tried real hard.
Two months prior of her leaveing town we both had a really busy schedule, and were almost never home at the same time. she studies nursing in university and I was finishing my secondary education.
In july she wanted to breakup because she couldn't find the spark that used to drive us. I begged her to reconsider and at least give it a chance untill our routines synced when we'd be back together for the autumn semester. She gave in and we had a blast for the coming months. She talked about it last week that she really loved me and thanked me for getting her to reconsider.
But then something changes. Last monday I'm on my way to see her, she asks me how I'm getting there and says her father is somewhere near and I could catch a lift with him, she then tells me thats she looks forward to seeing me.
But when I get to her, say hello to their cat she wants to speak with me privatly and says that she isn't in love with me anymore and that our relationship is over.
My heart is in peaces right now. I called her up tuesday and wednesday and talked for a while.
I REALLY love this woman, my heart aches everytime I think of her and there is nothing I would like more in the world than still be in a fruitfull and loving relationship with her. | Girlfriend of four years isn't in love with me anymore. Do I have a chance of winning her heart back, or at the least be able to keep our friendship. |
t3_25s5ok | AskReddit | Reddit, I was just fired from a job for sexual harrassment. It was on my second day of working there, ever. This is a throwaway- more in comments. | So I am working at this theater that serves alcohol to people 21+. I am 18 and the supervisor, who just for promoted, we will call B, is training me. Some of the things she tells me are that in between theater showings, it is OK to sit outside and do nothing. She also tells me that it's cool to drink beer left in a pitcher if no one is looking. She even tells me about how there is a party at her house and two people are having sex on her bed, she even asks one of the higher managers what she thinks about it.
Anyways, she tells me about this stalker of hers and she says, "He is a major dick." Which I reply- "There are 2 types of guys. Some are circumcised and some are uncircumcised. This has nothing to do with whether or not they are dicks." It was funny when I said it ok.
Today (or the second day I work) at the end of my shift, at 11 PM, a super tells me my General Manager wants to talk to me. He is in his office with the assistant general manager. He tells me that sexual harassment will not be tolerated, then he cites the joke ("B said you said something about Circumcised penises vs. Uncircumcised penises"), then tells me to get out. I was in shock and didn't say anything.
Now what?
First, do I have to disclose this on applications? I was only working 2 days. Also, I had other jobs before this and have never been fired before. I feel so stupid but at the same time betrayed and depressed. I am graduating soon and I feel so failed.
What should I do Reddit? | a girl trains me while telling me different ways to break the law- gets me fired for telling my boss a joke I said to her. |
t3_1rtzqz | relationships | My(16m) gf(16f) of 9 months and birth control. | My girlfriend and I have been sexually active for a while now and have had sex maybe 5 times. Recently my mom told me she got pregnant around my age and regrets it, and offered to take my gf and i to the doctor and get her on birth control and pay for it. My girlfriend agreed to this when I proposed it to her two weeks ago.
So about 5 minutes ago I brought it up again proposing a doctor's appointment on Friday. My gf said "It's too much of a hassle, and my parents should be doing it anyway." I said "..so is a baby" and asked her if her parents are going to put her on birth control then. She said no. She said she doesn't like the idea of my parents paying for her birth control (even though her's won't) and wants to continue having sex.
I REALLY do not want to have a baby at all in this stage of my life and am not comfortable just with condoms. Why do you think my gf has changed her mind? Is there any constructive advice that anyone has that can help with my situation? Am I in the wrong? (I am cool with it if I am in the wrong and would love an explanation as to what I did wrong so I can improve it) | my gf was going to go on birth control (my parents offered to pay) but now she doesn't and I am not comfortable with this. |
t3_t8c81 | AskReddit | American redditers, how do you feel about roundabouts replacing traffic lights? | This is a resurrected [Post] Since seeing a [BBC segment] I have been intrigued by their possibilities.
It would seem if they:
- Get you places quicker
- By using less gas
- Resulting in less green house gasses emitted
- **It would make sense**
The safety of Traffic Circles/Roundabouts is it's common deterrent; Popular Mechanics explains many peoples fear, and reasoning:
Likewise, traffic circles and squares, which demand a driver's full attention, turn out to be both safer and better at handling large volumes of traffic than traditional four-way intersections with traffic lights. In the former, people focus on what's going on; in the latter, they relax and expect the traffic signals to do all the work. Drivers in traffic circles also communicate more with hand signals and eye contact. As Vanderbilt notes, when a traditional four-way intersection with lights was turned into a traffic square, "The responsibility for getting through the intersection was now up to the users, and they responded by communicating among themselves. The result was that the system was safer, even though the majority of users, polled in local surveys, felt that the system was more dangerous!"
-[Popular Mechanics]( | I know there is a difference between [traffic circles, roundabouts] etc. But I think local governments should take a serious look at the implementation of them when possible. Like to see what Reddit thinks. |
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