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t3_sivwh | AskReddit | I feel like I have "used up" all of my love. What should I do, Reddit? | Story:
As a teenager, I was never really "into" relationships. I didn't understand why people liked dating so much, what they meant by they "loved" their boyfriend / girlfriend, etc. One day, I met this fantastic girl. I immediately had this feeling of butterflies in my stomach and happiness in my brain. Long story short, we ended up dating for about 9 months, and then the girl cheated on me and broke up with me. I thought that I loved her. After the breakup, life seemed to be a bit dull. I realized that I didn't really "love" my family (I didn't get a happy feeling from them anymore, even though I would act like I did), I didn't enjoy hanging out with friends, nothing was fun, etc. This was about 3 years ago. Ever since then, everything has seemed dull, and although I will get "happy", it is never really from people or gifts - it is usually from some sort of thing that I did myself (finishing a project, pushing up my benching max, you know the likes). I hate to say it, but I am also a very manipulative person. I lie (for no reason, other than the sheer thrill of lying), I commit crimes (both violent and nonviolent), yet feel no conscience, and I plan my actions according to what will give me the most benefits (what should I say to receive a blowjob from a girl, what could I do to prevent being caught when committing a crime, etc). This has allowed me to get out of multiple charges with no convictions (with a few being felonies). What should I do? I have only noticed this change in my behavior and feelings after the breakup. | girl broke up with me 3 years ago, I thought I really liked her. Ever since then I have been showing sociopathic behaviors and thoughts. What should I do? I want to be a happy person. |
t3_1r5irt | relationship_advice | How can I [28/f] gently tell my SO [23/m] to bring it down a notch when it comes to physical affection? | First off, we've been dating exclusively for about 6 months. I consider myself to be pretty introverted and lone-wolfish in general. I'm also probably the more dominant or self-assured of the two of us.
At the beginning of our relationship I "entertained" my SO's touchy-feely nature because it was novel and I thought it would level-out over time. Turns out that did not happen. He always initiates some kind of contact whenever wherever we're together (holding hands, arm around my shoulder, embracing while sleeping, etc) and it's starting to have a negative effect on the way I view him. It's making me feel like he's needy and smothering, but I know my independent streak also has something to do with why I feel this way.
My aversion to being cuddly all the time is not out of embarrassment – it honestly has a lot to do with the fact that most of these gestures make me literally uncomfortable after long periods of being entwined (cramp in my neck/back/knuckles). He also likes to have his arm draped around me while we're walking places (sometimes in a hurry) and it significantly slows us down.
I feel like I'm being hyper-logical and non-romantic, but I really want to figure out a way to constructively bring this topic up. I can tell it will become a peeve for me and I otherwise really care about this guy. However, I can't think of a gentle and tactful way to broach this without hurting his feelings. | – My SO is too clingy physically. Is there a nice way to tell him to back off a little bit? |
t3_27vman | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of 1 year, fooled around with guys while we were broken up and now I feel guilty. What do I do..? | My boyfriend and I, who met through mutual friends, have been dating about 1 year now. About 6 months ago, we broke up for various reasons.
The breakup was definite. It wasn't just "time off" or "we'll think about it." We both had decided it was time to end.
Some mean things were said on both of our accounts, but he told me he didn't really love me, and had just said it to keep the peace.
We didn't talk after that.
In that time, I was very hurt because I did love him. I suppose I went on the rebound, and had (protected) sex with two different guys. Each guy it was only once and I have never spoken to them since. I didn't know either of them very well.
I freaked out and went and got tested a couple weeks later. I'm okay.
About a month later, my ex and I got in contact again. Long story short, we worked things out and now have been dating again without incident.
When he asked if I had done anything with anyone while we were broken up, I told him no. In my defense, it meant nothing with those guys. I don't care about them in any way. I knew telling him the truth would only put an unnecessary wall between our relationship that was already being mended. I would not want to know if he did things with other girls, because I know that we were broken up, it wasn't cheating, and I'd rather not dwell on that information.
Did I do the right thing? Some days I feel entirely justified in what I did. We were broken up and I truly never expected us to get back together. Some days I feel very guilty, but I know telling him now wouldn't help anything, and I wouldn't be doing it to make things right, but rather to extinguish my guilty conscience. | Did things with guys while broken up with ex-bf, then lied about it. Feeling guilty. Am I an awful person? |
t3_3sf1nl | relationships | [M/23] Higher sex drive that my girlfriend [21/F] | (I posted this is relationship_advice, but maybe the higher volume of people here will get me more opinions) I've been with this girl for about 5 months now, we both are really into each other and have said that we love one another and meant it seriously. I'm not a casual dater, neither is she. We both commit to relationships. That being said, I have a pretty high sex drive. When we first started dating we had more sex that she haa ever had with any of her previous boyfriends. Like, 2 3 times a day for two or 3 weeks. Now we have very little, and she says that her sex drive is just really low and she goes through phases of no sex drive and others where she has a decent one, shes attracted to me and she even wanted to move in together which I have no problem with, and we did. I have to ask for sex however, and most of the time she isn't in the mood. I don't press the matter of course because I don't want to force her to do anything and I don't want her to feel guilty or bad for not giving it to me, but I feel like I require the intimacy to be happy a lot of the time. We've had sex twice in the past 2 weeks, and we did it again but she wasn't into it because the apartment was cluttered and she quickly lost interest. I'll cut this short, because I've been going on for a while, but what do you guys think? Should I try and lower mine? Just once or twice a week is plenty for me even with a high drive, but I feel like she might only be REALLY into it once a month. What are my courses of actions do you think? | I want more intimacy, not just getting off. Sex gives me a sense of closeness with my SO, girlfriend's libido is way lower than mine. Wat do |
t3_2c6ejy | relationships | Me [30 F] with my BF [28 M] 3 years, lied about getting me a birthday gift. | I feel like this is a touchy thing to bring up with him because it makes me feel like I'm being greedy. However!
My birthday was a month ago and on the day of he had nothing for me. He said he had ordered me something from Amazon and it hadn't arrived yet. Um, ok, this happened the first bday of mine we were together and I know he's not the best planner.
Fast forward to yesterday when he's telling me about this gift he got his younger brother. That reminds me of the 'amazon promise' so I bring it up and says, "Oh, you didn't get that? They must have not completed the order...". Ok, now I know he's lying because of course he knows I haven't gotten anything because WE LIVE TOGETHER. At this point I dropped it because I wasn't sure how to respond without seeming greedy.
The problem is that it has been bothering me all day today. I'm not going to go in and look at his amazon history or email because I don't do that. But how do I bring it up? | BF of 3 years lied about getting me a bday present, I don't know how to bring it up to him. |
t3_3f8nio | relationships | I [18F] have had a number of dreams where I have cheated on my BF [21M]. They're freaking me out and idk what to do. (1 yr 3 mth) | To keep it short and sweet.
In the past two weeks I've had two dreams where I've cheated on my BF. I also had 1 earlier in the year.
None of them are erotic and all of them have been with people I know. I just do the deed and then guilt and fear set in. I will wake up completely terrified, believing it happened. The last one was last night and I just feel extremely guilty, even though it was a dream.
I feel like if I tell him I'll freak. I just need to talk about this shit to someone. | Dreams about cheating on bf leave me freaked out and I don't know how to calm down from the guilt I shouldn't be having. |
t3_28ltgm | relationships | How long do I [22 M] wait to ask out my crush [20 F] after she broke up with her boyfriend? | A girl I have had a crush on since high school has recently separated from her boyfriend of 3 years. In high school I had a crush on her would spend a lot of time hanging out at her house with my friends then when I told my friend I wanted to ask her out he told me they were kind of seeing each other. Turned out they weren't he just lied to be a douche and I never made a move.
A month ago I invited her to a party that was going on at my house and she said she would come night of the party she never did and text me that she didn't come because her boyfriend dumped her. Now me being pretty drunk admitted to her that I used to have a crush on her and that she was a real catch and any guy that let her go was an idiot.
Well I don't here from her for about a week then she text me out of the blue and said she wanted to hang out. I said sure what you got in mind and she said "I don't know I never thought I would get this far" (what does that mean??) Me not wanting to push out a let's go on a date vibe if she wasn't ready said that she should come over to my house and we could play some video games. She agreed 30 min later she said nah never mind I'm felling too blegh don't want to be a bother. So I said okay next time.
I just got out of a relationship about 7 months ago I used to be with a poisonous bitch that made my life miserable. And have almost no experience asking girls out since my ex was the one that asked me. I really like this girl she has an amazing personality and even though we grew apart while we were both in relationships these last year's I remember all the fun we used to have and it brings a smile to my face.
How long should I wait to ask her out? Or is there a specific approach I should take in this situation since she's just out of a relationship? My friends tell me not to ask her out because she just see me as a rebound is this true? | I had a crush on this girl for years didn't make my move and we went separate ways. Now she's available but I don't know how long to wait to ask her out. Help me reddit! |
t3_mv79z | AskReddit | I was in an accident and I need advice. Help me Reddit! first post | I was in an accident on 28NOV11. A GMC Sierra hit my little CR-V while I was stopped at red light. The driver of the Sierra was doing about 45. I was forced into the median and hit a light post as well. The accident occurred on a military base, and both the driver and I are service members. I was knocked unconscious and was taken by an ambulance to an Army hospital. Later that day I was diagnosed with a concussion that caused loss of consciousness and whiplash (they also found some concerning growths in my neck after doing a CT scan on my neck/spine, but that's a different story). Two days later I still have a headache and lots of all over body pain. My main concern though is that I am 99% sure that my old as hell CR-V with 200k miles on it is totaled and I will at most get a couple grand for it. Meanwhile I have a rental car from the other guys insurance that is costing me 30$ a day in full coverage insurance on it. The insurance company has no idea when it will get an appraisal on it, and they said that the original agent no longer works there so they are essentially back to day one. The car as I said was pretty old, but it had a relatively new engine and ran great. Not having a car payment for the last 3 years has been a big part to finally getting my family in a decent financial position. This may also put a stop to holiday travel plans to see my mom for the first time in years (last xmas I was in Afghanistan). Being active duty I don't have to worry about missing work (Though I don't get to go to the promotion board this month) or paying for medical bills. But there is so many intangibles like losing our very modest savings, or falling behind on training to become an NCO that I am very concerned about. To top it all off we found out my wife is pregnant with our second child yesterday. | I was in accident that wasn't my fault. What do I need to do to keep the rug from being pulled out from under my life. |
t3_1cnh7i | tifu | TIFU by lending me phone to my girlfriend. | EDIT: Lending *my* phone. Sorry.
I'm in college. Yesterday in art class there were some high school girls talking with the professor. They were kind of good looking. So, as the dumb man that I am, I texted a friend telling him about these girls with the meme picture "DAT ASS" attached.
I think you guys know where this is going.
Today she had an hour without class and she was going to wait for me so we could go to my place and watch a movie. She asked me for my phone, so that she wouldn't get bored. Her phone is a Nokia. Again, as the dumb man that I am, I gave it to her. We jokingly agreed that she would not look at my messages. At this point I didn't even remember about those messages.
Well, she made a drama about it after class. Saying that she didn't want to be my girlfriend anymore. I tried to talk her...when suddenly, I DON'T KNOW WHY THE FUCK I DID IT, but I let out an "I love you". We've been together for 3 months. This apparently didn't help. AT ALL. She told me to go fuck myself.
I really care about this girl, after all we've shared together, I can actually say that I love her, and I don't want to lose her over this stupidity of mine. | Girlfriend saw messages saying that I was checking some girls' ass, I said I loved her, was told to go fuck myself. |
t3_1ir0j9 | relationships | [M19] How to stop being the jealous type in my relationship? | Basically the girl [19/F] who I'm dating now (started dating when we we're both 18, university freshers), has had 2 boyfriends before, whom she both dated for quite a while (last boyfriend she was with for almost 2 years), and I've never had a girlfriend before.
Everythings fine and stuff except for little 'brief' mentions of her Ex boyfriend. For instance, when we were both drunk once, she said that she once got caught on CCTV near her school with her ex, masturbaiting eachother, which her friends have brought up a few times as an embarassing story which they think I don't know about, and another time where I was suggesting having shower sex, and she said that she's 'tried' it before and it didn't really work out. The thing is, shes normally really shy about sex so I begin to wonder how sexually attracted she is to me compared with him, and I know that they openly said they loved eachother because of previous FB statuses (granted, that was before we ever met), something I don't think she'd ever do with me.
I think it's do to with the fact that she's been in a loving relationship with someone before and I havn't, but at the same time I know they're Ex's for a reason, so I just can't help but get jealous of stuff like this sometimes, help! | Jealous my GF has had loving relationship before and I havn't, need to learn its all in the past, but can't help it! |
t3_2z7gxl | tifu | TIFU by climbing into the shower with my girlfriend's grandma and then asking for a blowjob | Throwaway for obvious reasons. This happened yesterday morning.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months and we're both 17. Her mom likes me so she does not mind when I sleep over at their house. My girlfriend lives with her mom and her mom's parents. Her mom is pretty young (<40) and her grandma is only 59, so everybody in the house is relatively young. I'm legally blind and my glasses are really strong.
My girlfriend, her mom, and her grandma all sound relatively the same. They're all brunettes and pretty short. Very early in the morning, I woke up briefly to see my girlfriend going to the bathroom. I sleep on the outside, so anytime she leaves the bed I wake up. Apparently I fell back asleep very quickly and did not remember her climbing into bed. So, when I woke up again a short time later, I heard singing from the shower, and I thought I would hop in. I went into the bathroom, took my glasses off, and said "surprise!" and then entered the shower.
There was silence, and I can't remember the exact wording, but I asked for head since I had a boner and a boner's gotta go.
It was the grandma. | Did not think nearly hard enough in the morning and highly disturbed my girlfriend's grandma, and her mom, because they all know now. |
t3_3x8x2r | personalfinance | LA Fitness wrongfully charged me 4 months in membership dues, CC reversed the transactions. Should I be worry about collections? | Hi guys,
Basically the gist of the story is this:
I signed up for a couple months membership at LA Fitness then moved and paid via my credit card. After I moved I visited the local club to cancel my membership, did some paperwork, and was reassured that the membership was canceled.
Fast forward a few months and I realize I am still being charged every month. I call and visit LA Fitness but they state that they have no record I visited or tried to cancel my membership. I spoke to corporate and local both a few times each, and they said I had no recourse for action but to cancel the membership now and pay the last month. Instead I called my credit card company and they said they would simply reverse the last 3 months transactions without dispute and reissue me a new card so that LA Fitness could not charge me again.
I'm really happy that I'm getting my $120 back, but I'm concerned that LA Fitness will send collections after me when they realize they can't charge for the last month. Should I be concerned? If so, what should I do about it? $120 isn't chump change to me, but it's worth it in my opinion to avoid collections as I'm interested in buying a house over the next few years. | LA Fitness continued to charge me after cancelling membership and denied I ever cancelled. Credit Card company reversed the excess transactions. Should I worry about collections and how this may affect my credit score? |
t3_cmshr | AskReddit | I'm pretty sure an older woman wants to fuck my brains out... What do I do? | Okay, here's the story:
I'm 22 and I'm in the process of joining a dog training club, which is the most well respected in the area. I had some questions, so I asked around and wound up talking to one of the officers of the club.
She was an older woman, probably 20 years my senior but she had a puppy and I had a puppy and they hit it off so we let them play for a while and chatted; it seemed pretty basic small talk - she wanted to know where I was from, where I worked, etc. After talking to her for a while she invited me over for a puppy play date this weekend and made sure to point out that she lived alone.
Initially, I didn't think anything of it, so I agreed and I'm now committed to going over to her house. After I got home, I thought about it some more and I'm 99% sure she was hitting on me and wants me to come over and, ahem, you get the rest. All the signs were there: the coy laughs, the arm pats, etc. But I didn't even notice until after the fact because I wouldn't usually consider someone that much older than me sexually. So what do I do when I go over there? | I'm going on a puppy play date this weekend at an older woman's house and I'm almost certain she wants to bang me. |
t3_1zhsy7 | relationships | How to improve my (24/m) relationship with my parents (68m/58/f). | Don't get me wrong, my parents and I get along perfectly fine. We love each other. Nevertheless over the last few years I feel i have almost deliberately distanced myself to them for various complicated reasons.
Besides I never shared everything that was going on with me with my parents and now I feel sad because some sort of connection has been lost. Like I can't communicate with them well enough. Sometimes I feel I'm hurting them by pushing them aside. I'm afraid that one day it'll be too late and I'll regret not being explicitly thankful for everything they did. I want to thank and hug them everyday and stop whatever suffering they're having, but I just can't.
I can connect better with my father, because we share a lot of common interests. With my mother is a different story. I can't hold true conversation with her because...I don't know why, really. Maybe I'll think that she either won't get me or I'll just enhance her suffering. Pushing her away from my private life is a way to protect her I think, like when she casually asks me what i did over the weekend i obviously won't say "I had a bisexual threesome with some friends and after that we got high as a kite, oh by the way, Im fucking my shrink". | Help me connect with my parents. How do I let them into my life? How do I show my upmost gratitude and love? |
t3_2dwx9a | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [22 M/F] of 11 months. Recently she has been saying that I'm controlling...? | So as of recently my girlfriend of 11 months has been bringing up that I'm being clingly and/or controlling.
Her last boyfriend, who she was with for almost 5 years, barely hung out with her, spent time with her, etc... Due to being away at school and them being far away. They saw each other on weekends and that was about it. Sometimes only every other weekend.
I'm not doing anything different these past 2 months that I didn't do the other 9 months. I'm an affectionate person and I care a lot about my gf.
Since we usually work at alternate times, her in the morning and myself in the evening, with weekends off, I like to text her and ask her "hey, what are you up to?" Or "how was your day?" Or "do you have any plans tonight or tomorrow or X day?"
I don't ask more than once and it's generally either to start up a conversation through text or to try and see when she's free to plan things with her.
She is saying that in prying to much and that it feels to her like I HAVE to know what she is doing and that because of that, it's controlling. Please believe me when I say I don't ask more than once because once we start texting it's generally about work or random things, but that initial "what are you up to?" Apparently really makes it seems like I need to always know what's going on In her life.
The other thing is that whenever I ask her a question about something serious (or something that is not fun for either of us to talk about) she tends to listen but never respond or a knowledge that she heard me, so I repeat what I said or ask her for an answer. To her it's controlling that I require an answer to whatever it is I asked.
I'm so confused. I don't consider myself controlling in the slightest and apparently wanting to ask her about her plans or what she's doing when we are not together is controlling.
Please.... I need your thoughts. I don't understand! | girlfriend thinks in controlling when I genuinely just want to know what she's up to when we're not together or what she has planned for the day or week so that I can plan something with her. |
t3_2ilz58 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 1 year that I love, but I have a huge sex drive and just want to suck other guys, he is hesitant to open our relationship | I'll keep it short. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and we love each other, it's the best relationship I have ever been in. As perfect as it is, we are both young, and it is impossible for me to think that he is the only person I will ever be with again. I feel terrible because being with him is amazing, I just have a huge sex drive and want to do more. I've proposed an open-relationship (rules would be only head, no fucking other men) to him and he has been hesitant, and I've done my best to calm any insecurities he has (I really can't express how much I like being with him). I've been reading a lot about open relationships because it is something I want, but it is all about straight couples and it never works because the guy gets jealous. Is it possible (and healthy) to have a gay open relationship? If so, how do I convince my boyfriend? Also, I think it will actually make our relationship better, am I wrong/stupid for thinking this? Let me hear your thoughts, I am very interesting in others' opinions. | I want a gay open relationship with the man I love because I want to suck off other men, my boyfriend is hesitant, can a gay open relationship work or am I in the wrong? |
t3_1zwddz | relationships | Me [24 M] with my now recently EX-GF [24 F] of 6 weeks, have just broke up because of a past problem regarding her ex. Advice? | I've known his girl for a few years now and I've have slight to moderate attractions for her the whole way when finally we hooked up (no not sex) and started dating because we've been practically best friends. The start was fantastic and she and I seemed so happy together and expected a serious relationship.
As time went on (about 4 weeks) she seemed to not be so interested in me anymore. We hung out and everything but there was no old flame like it was. I got a little nervous because I get attached easily and this girl was beginning to be my world. We didn't live together or anything not too serious yet. Some attractions came off of jealousy for her old ex, whom we had talked greatly about.
They dated for about a year, split and i consoled her as a true friend. Then they hooked up and I got sad a little bit. They split i consoled her. She had attractions for me too but the ex was overwhelming her when finally They got back together. Now she didn't rush things but one thing led to another and they had sex. They split and she was basically depressed because she found out he was cheating on her and she loved him.
Now we started dating about 5 months later and she finally split us up because "It was too rushed, and I'm not ready to get serious again." She explained about how she still had lots of feelings for me but she still wanted the friend she had because it felt 'weird.' She said she wants to try dating again in the future after she finally releases her feelings for the ex boyfriend whom she loved.
Should I stop having feelings for her all completely (I was very broken up over this) or should I be the best friend ever and have that attraction that leads to a future relationship? | My now ex GF broke up with me because she can't handle what her other Ex did to her. She says wait and we can try again. What should I do? |
t3_4i4vz5 | personalfinance | Can't decide if buying this car is what I want to do... | For the past year and a half or so, I've been saving up for a Fiero, knowing it'd be the perfect summer car for me (I already own a daily driver). I love them to death, and would love to drive one.
I now have the opportunity to by one for about 2000 less than how much I have saved, but am having hardcore second thoughts. I love the car, but am having major buyers remorse when thinking about it. Not only do I have to buy the car, but I'll need to get it safetied, pay for plates and stickers, insurance, etc. Its all stuff I knew would have to be paid for, but thinking about it, I don't know it im ready for all this.
As a college student, I do have other expenses that will need to be covered at some point, and I'm now wondering if getting this second car is a good idea, even though I have the money for it, and I've wanted it for quite some time.
Any advice? I just need help swaying me in either direction, thanks! | saved up for a car I always wanted, and now have the money. When finally getting the chance to buy the car, I have huge doubts, and stress. What to do? |
t3_1xesbp | relationships | Me (19m) and my bi ex (19f) not over each other and trying to remain friends, but I'm pissed about someone she is currently talking to. | Okay so me and my ex, who keep in mind is bisexual, went out for 4 months and broke up a month and a half ago and the entire relationship was long distance. The drive is an **hour and a half**. She broke up with me since she couldn't handle the distance. She got her license suspended for a year so it would be hard to see each other.
We've continued talking but only on the phone about once or twice a week to remain friends. She always brings up how she needs to stop relying on me, but she also said she doesn't want to stop because its too hard. The conversations lead to her telling me how much she misses me and then me eventually doing the same. She also talks about how the distance affected her and made her feel needy and reliant on me.
Since we broke I have been actively pursuing girls and went on a date. I still love my ex, but I'm not afraid to meet new girls and put myself out there. Of course I keep it secret from my ex because I don't want to hurt her.
Well the other night we decided to talk and it came out that **she is talking to a girl that lives 45 minutes away.** I ended up getting a little upset, because of the 45 minutes. When I come home from college I'm 45 minutes away from her. After finding out I was mad she told me she doesn't have any feelings for the girl she is just physically attracted.
I'm enjoying being single, but at the same time want to be back with her. I miss having someone I could connect with like that and talk with for hours. I mean we connected the instant we met. I feel like she's gonna drop me if she meets someone she connects with like me and her did, because I somehow feel I'd end up doing the same too.
**If we are trying to remain being friends, should I be upset that she is trying to pursue something that is 45 minutes shy of how far I am from her? | My ex broke up with me because of the distance, yet she is talking to someone else who is out of her driving distance. Now I am pissed. |
t3_3f41t0 | relationships | Me [20F] met a friend of my brother's [20 M] last week, we were inseparable but.... (The quintessential does he like me?) | Last week I went to my brother's house, he had been going on about a friend of his Dan that was bugging him to come over
Once we get there he introduces us mentions were the same age and we start talking. My brother and his gf leave Dan and I keep talking,
I asked him about his tattoos and he obliged by explaining the story behind each and taking his shirt off to show me the tatt on his shoulder.
he offers to help me find a lighter and offers to follow me to the store to buy one when we came up with nothing. I know this seems minuscule but at this point we'd been alone and talking for maybe 2 hours.
we go back to the house hangout some more my brother and his gf come back and after like 6 hrs (99% of that time spent with Dan) I leave (very sadly) but when I said bye to everyone he seemed kind of indifferent
I guess I'm wondering; was this obvious flirting or am I reading too much into things (I'm really bad at reading people when i comes to romance)
could he have been showing off his tattoo to impress me of do you think he just wants people to see his tattoos lol
Do you think he offered to walk me to the store to keep interest/conversation going or was he just being nice
I feel like if a guy talks to you more often than not he's probably interested but I don't want to assume and I don't know if I should make things more obvious the next time I see him. | Met a guy talked for hours, he was sweet offered to help me with things and even showed of his body a bit but didn't make any kind of move, Could he have just been being nice? |
t3_sv78s | self | Parents' divorce/remarriage predicament (x-post from Advice) | Didn't really know where to post this.
Throwaway account because my boyfriend doesn't use Reddit, and I'm asking on his behalf.
Reddit, please help me out. Here's the story. My boyfriend's parents are getting a divorce because his dad has been cheating on his mom with another woman via the Internet for over a year. They broke the news to my bf the day before his birthday. I know, right? Pitiful. His dad is a scumbag, I've never liked him. My bf doesn't like his dad either.
Anyway, his dad called him today to tell him that he and his new woman are getting married in JUNE, and they asked if we could go. Of course, my bf absolutely does not want to go, and since his father doesn't have any friends, he'd probably end up being his best man, or at least one of his groomsmen. But here's the catch- his father pays his phone bill, car fixes, and car insurance, and my bf is afraid his dad will cut him off financially if he doesn't go (although my bf pays his way through school, pays his own rent, pays for his food, lives in a whole other state than his parents, manages to support himself). Is that irrational for him to think that his dad might cut him off if he doesn't go to his wedding? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? | Bf's dad is a jerk and he's getting married to woman he cheated on his wife with, wants his son to go to his wedding but he doesn't want to go, afraid of being cut off financially. |
t3_nthqh | AskReddit | Please help me regarding my PC. It no longer recognizes HDMI. | I'm not sure where this question should have gone, but I need help. I have exhausted Google and hoped maybe the Reddit community would have an answer for me.
Here is the deal. I use my 32" Vizio flatscreen TV as a monitor and always have. I have always used mini-HDMI from my gfx card to my HDMI 1 input on the back of my television. Anyways I went to work today around 4pm. Everything was normal. I shut my tv off (I use it as a monitor and always have) and left my PC running for the evening.
When I got home my monitor had went to sleep (like always after an hour of inactivity), but upon moving my mouse and pressing keyboard buttons it never came back on. I messed around for a while with restarts, different cables etc. until I finally hooked up my old VGA cables. I booted the PC up and had the TV set to RGB or whatever it is, and it's now working.
I did a system restore to a couple of days ago hoping that would fix the problem and it hasn't. Now when I boot with my HDMI cable to HDMI channel 1 it temporarily says "retrieving data.." and then back to the "NO SIGNAL" screen.
Why would my PC/TV stop recognizing this after 8 months of use? I have always used it this way ever since I built the thing and I just can't figure out what's going on.
I don't know if this belongs here, but if anyone could shed some light on the situation I would be eternally grateful! Thanks Reddit! | My PC stopped recognizing HDMI display. It has worked for eight months and stopped abruptly. Now using VGA. Want to go back to HDMI, but don't know how or why it stopped in the first place. |
t3_504nn3 | relationships | My [29 M] SO [28 F] of 7 years, informed me that she discovered being bisexual by getting a crush on her colleague [~23 F]. Should I be worried? | My SO and I have had a very rough year due to a death in the family and a lot of miscommunication in the aftermath.
Now that things are slowly getting back on track she had to move 200 km for her vocation and insisted on moving alone for now. I agreed under the condition that all weekends are reserved for us so that we could work on mending the relationship towards a common future, otherwise I'd have to break up.
Now that two weeks have passed she informed me over dinner that she is now pretty sure of her bisexuality (she was curious but uncertain before) and that she has a crush on one of her colleagues. I instantly understood why she had sent me a picture of the girl at a welcoming party a few days in (something I wondered about earlier) as well as a link to a blog which turns out to be run by the same person.
I immediately told her that I appreciate her telling me and that if she has a need to try something with a girl I'd be willing to work it out in a way that works for both, but pleaded that she'd not engage into anything with that girl at least until we are back living together and have our relationship on more solid ground, because I'd otherwise be very jealous, for obvious reasons - I think.
She then immediately got defensive and said that she just wanted to let me know. I somehow have a hard time believing that, because she has already suggested something of that nature in the past, to which I was relatively open too. In general I don't have a problem with introducing another girl into our relationship (I am very straight and couldn't imagine having another man in our lives), as long as it's something that all parties involved are happy with, I do however have a problem with being sidelined. If she were to have a secondary relationship I'd probably end it immediately. Should I be worried? | My SO has informed me that she discovered her bisexuality by noticing her crush on a colleague. I applauded her discovery, but I'm unsure if she's simply letting me know or trying to tell me something more. |
t3_26pce3 | relationships | I [28/F] think I'm falling for a man [37/M] who lives 6000 kilometers away. Should I run? | I met him a few years ago when he was on a trip to my country, and we ended up making fast friends. I saw him a few times, and then, of course, he had to leave. It was strictly platonic at that time, as I was in a relationship.
After he left, we facebook friended each other and kept in touch, we would always chat and joke here and there but lately it's become more frequent, and has escalated into hours-long Skype chats, and messaging each other numerous times during the day. I greatly enjoy these conversations, because I feel like we really resonate with one another.
But here lies the problem: He is 6000 kilometers away. We can't afford to visit each other frequently if we end up confessing our attachments to one another (it's easy to see that we like one another), and I am the type of woman who requires a fair amount of attention, so if I am realistic with myself I am not sure that I could deal with such a long-term relationship. But then I worry that we could really be something.
I'm thinking of just trying to see where things go and if it gets to that point, deal with it. I've thought maybe I should just get out in my local area too and see if I can find someone a bit more accessible.
I can tell though, I am already falling for this man, even though he is so far away. I've never been in a long-distance relationship, and certainly not one where my partner and I are an ocean apart, relying on mail and the internet to interact with one another.
Can anyone provide any advice? I don't want to get my heart broken, nor do I want to break his heart. | I'm scared of getting myself into a *really* long-distance relationship. Has anyone else had any experience with them, and what was it like? |
t3_2aqnvn | relationships | Me [23 M] with my ex [34 F] 3 months - trying to get over. Thinking bitter thoughts | Hi.
Ex broke up with me two weeks ago and I've Been trying to move on. Though I've been getting these thoughts of murder or being really nasty to her. Though I then felt horrible for thinking such a thought, I wouldn't dream of doing to my enemy
I can understand why you sometimes hear about people killing their ex. Love is such a strong feeling - do you think they're just so butt hurt about the outcome that they can't accept it?
I'm also thinking 'what if'. She said she felt bad for not picking up my calls and that she couldn't be in a committed relationship. I was only ringing/texting once or twice running up to the weekend to see if she wanted to go out on the weekend.
I thought things were going well together, when she said about breaking up it Completely caught me off guard. I had never felt so happy about myself or for a other person. I keep thinking it would've been nice if it lasted a bit longer ( I .e - see places together, have sex, chill out and watch films) though know that's just my own expectations of how I seen it? | Ex broke up. Still thinking what I did wrong or if I could change it. Experienced bitter thoughts too . |
t3_3ax1s8 | relationships | [non-romantic] I (17m) need to apologize to a friend (18f), but don't know how to. | (throwaway to protect ids of ppl involved. Also, not sure if I should mark NSFW or naw)
Title. Basically what happened was way back about 4 years ago, my friend (18f, name will be Jane for story) and I were texting over the summer before high school. We had gotten pretty close, and it seemed like she was sending me a ton of suggestive and very sexual messages. Eventually, it got into full fledged sexting, and pictures were sent of genitals.
However, it was revealed to me that it was not the actual friend, but her cousin (15f at the time) whom I was talking to.
Jane was appaled, to say the least. I lost a ton of respect and trust from her, and all of my friends, whom she told.
I'm truly sorry, and I am still trying to forgive myself for an event that occurred years ago. I want to apologize to Jane for the incident, and attempt to regain that lost friendship, but I don't know how to begin.
_______ | I dun goofed with a friend's cousin. I want to fix it, but don't know how or where to start. |
t3_4vpmy2 | relationships | Me [25 M] with long distance friend [26 F] have an 18 month pact | 1.Okay, so me and a long distance friend of mine, let's call her Polly have a weird arrangement.
Our personalities are such that we are almost identical. That can be good or bad.
2.We randomly met up for the first time when she was on a business trip, her idea, and clicked pretty well. Long story short, we kept texting and texting, and somehow through a bit of weird chemistry (again weird because it's a bit insane how close our past relationships have been, how we both handled them, and how similar we our) we ended up with this pact of, if in 18 months we're both still single we're gonna try and date. It was her idea, unprompted. Basically, no strings attached if we're both still single on February 1 of 2018, we meet up for a weekend and then see what happens.*
3.We're both into the idea of a good story, and I've been dating around - there are lots of single girls in Nashville. The distance is the primary reason we're not trying anything right now. I'm in Nashville, she's in Reno, and not in a place in our careers to up and move for a potential fling.*
4.It's intriguing to me, that's for sure. I like the idea. But I wanted an unbiased set of eyes to tell me if this is crazy. Because it's not strings attached, and we'll both keep dating during that time period. | Have a pact that if in 1.5 years we're both still single, we give it a go. Is this weird and a red flag, or just hopelessly romantic? |
t3_4cbl6h | relationships | Me [18F] have met this guy [18m] and I want to ask him out I just don't know the best way to do so | I met this guy a while ago and I really like him, he is super nice. I want to ask him out and the only problem is I am not exactly sure how too.
He had an abusive ex and I met her, she is not a very nice person. Infact she is the reason he has this scar above his right eye. One of his friends told me he arrived late to a party and she pretty much slapped him multiple times and her ring somehow cut him and that was only one of the things that happened.
I want this guy to know I would never do that to him, and I don't think a simple " hey will you go out with me" work this time. So what is the best way to convey this message | A guy I want to ask out had an abusive ex and I want to know the best way to ask him out, while telling him I would never do some of the stuff she did to him |
t3_258atv | offmychest | Stop trying to enforce "Jim Crow"esque rules/laws on homosexuals | There is a moderately popular cake shop in my area and people I am friends with have "liked" their page on Facebook. They post pictures of fabulous cakes for the most part, but also some religiously charged quotes that imply anti-gay attitudes. Earlier this year the shop came under fire by a state newspaper for refusing to serve a same-sex couple. The couple wanted to have the shop create their wedding cake, but the owner refused, citing her religious beliefs. There was obvious uproar over this but many surrounded to support the bakery saying that the owner has a right to refuse service to someone because of their religious beliefs.
You have right to your religion, and to your beliefs. But when they infringe on the rights of OTHERS, that's where I, and luckily my state, draw the line. The support to be able to refuse service to someone based on their sexual orientation is identical to the Jim Crow laws that were prominent from 1876 until they were struck down in 1965. And it's sickening. Even more, they are only targeting homosexuals as being "against their religious beliefs". But are more than willing to make a cake for the child of a single, teenage mother (and they should), or a cake for the bridal shower of a woman on her second marriage. When both of these are seen as sins (unwed motherhood/divorce) as well. This bakery is hiding behind their religion to front their prejudice and citing biblical passages in a giant circlejerk on their Facebook page.
It's wrong and they have the audacity to claim their critics are the ones who "turn a blind eye" to the truth. | If you're going to bring your religion into your business, you better abide by all of its rules. Otherwise, you're going to be seen as the bigot you claim not to be. |
t3_4gf4cb | Advice | Where do i go from here? | I have always performed well at school. Because of this, my parents have always wanted me to go to university, get a degree and find myself a high earning job. Over the past couple of years I have thought and thought about what it is I want to do for a living, I struggled to find anything, so instead I put time into thinking about what I wanted to do with my life outside of work, and I realised that I don't really want anything. I don't want to raise a family, I don't want to own a big house, I don't want a flatscreen TV. My hobbies are cheap and I really couldn't care less about the brands of products I use. I realised that in order to pay for the life I want to live I wouldn't need a high earning job, and I feel as though I would be perfectly comfortable living off the bare minimum. Because of this, I have lost almost all motivation I have for progressing with my education, the only thing motivating me being the immensive amount of support my dad has given me, and I have just over a week to accept offers from the universities I have applied to. I feel at this point going to university is a waste of time, but at the same time I don't want to disappoint my family. I don't want people to think I am taking the lazy way out. or I have given up on myself. I'm not sure what to do and I don't have much time to decide. Heck, I don't even know if this is making any sense. | feel as though continuing my education is a waste of time based on the way I want to live my life, don't know if I am being stupid, or how to explain to my parents how I feel. |
t3_50b9wu | relationships | My [20, F] mom [40, F] won't put her dog down- I really need help | This is probably not the right place to post this, but I know a lot of people are on this one and I really need help.
My mom's dog is 15 years old, and has cancer. He has two giant tumors on his face- one on his snout and one right under his eye, he's basically blind and deaf, and he bleeds out of his mouth because of the tumors. I know this dog is in pain- you can tell just by the way he has trouble laying down and getting up.
My mom though refuses to put him out of his misery, and says that "she'll know when it's time". It was "time" months ago when he first got this sick. I feel terrible for this dog. She can't afford the pain killers her vet prescribed so she just gives him asprin everyday, and it kills me to see him like this. I understand that it's her dog, and it's so so hard to put a dog down, but I can't help feel like it's selfish of her not to see that her dog should be put out of his misery. Her excuse is that some days he'll run around the backyard like he's a puppy again, but 90% of the time he's not like that. It's hard to even get him to eat now a days.
My mom just left out of state for a week to visit my sister, and her dog is staying with me. I know it's not my place to put the dog down, I know that's her decision, but I just don't know what to do. I've tried talking to her about it, but she just gets upset and says it's not time. I've had him for two days and he's been bleeding all over my house, and he's just miserable.. please if anyone has gone through this, I really need someone else's perspective, or advice on what to do.
My sister even gets upset at me when I talk about how it's not fair for the dog to live like this in pain everyday.. | Mom's dog should be put down, has cancer, and is in pain all the time. I don't know what to do. |
t3_3x3dtu | relationships | My [24 F] boyfriend [24 M] of 2 years has been watching gay porn and visiting casual dating sites after saying he isn't attracted to men. | My boyfriend and I have been friends since middle school. During that time (between 6th and 12th), a lot of people accused him of being gay. He had almost all female friends, was into art instead of sports, spent time on his appearance, had more 'feminine' mannerisms. I realize that's a bs way to tell if someone's actually gay or not so I had no hesitations when I started dating him towards the end of college.
Since we've been dating though he's only initiated sex maybe 6 times, will give me a peck but doesn't enjoy the act of kissing for longer than a few seconds, has never complimented my looks in person-even when I lost 30 pounds and got to a healthy weight.
Those things have made me wonder if he's ever been open to the idea of being attracted to men maybe more than women. I tried bringing the conversation up about 3 months ago but it failed miserably as he said no he hasn't been open to it because he's not attracted to guys at all and that he's not gay.
---
Fast forward to yesterday: I was on his iPad and looked at his search history (I know. I snooped and invaded his privacy - not okay). What I found though was weeks of gay porn. Gay bdsm, gay orgies, straight men being done by gay men. These were the majority, only with a few teen porn links in between. To make it worse I saw 3+ casual dating sites like Ashley Madison.
My instinct is to break things off but we've been dating so long and I love him so much. I just don't even know how to go about it. I feel lied to and I've been crying off and on but the other side of me wants to be there for him since I know his Christian parents would not be accepting if he is bi. Any thoughts on how to talk about this with him?
I'd really appreciate hearing from some bi/gay guys about what not to do/to do if he is in the closet or maybe struggling with who he is. | Boyfriend's been visiting gay porn and casual dating sites after telling me he's not attracted to guys. How do I talk about this without pushing him away? |
t3_3xi52q | relationships | Me [29F] with my ex-husband [30M]. He is getting re-married but wants me to tell our son [8M] but I think it is something he should do. | Very brief background: I got pregnant when I was 21, we got married - not a good idea. We got divorced 2 years ago. The break-up was mutual and the divorce was fine - not really any bitter arguments about custody etc.
He has recently got engaged again. I do think it is quite soon after our divorce. I don't find it a problem, our relationship was dead a long time before we actually broke up but I think his new relationship has happened quite quickly for our son to deal with. Our son did find the divorce difficult - for a long time he thought we were going to get back together. He then got angry with his dad when he got his new gf and for a time he didn't like seeing his dad. Things are better now and they have a good relationship.
So my ex is engaged again and he is worried about telling our son because he doesn't want things to be bad between them again and so he wants me to tell our son. I get why he wants me to but I feel like it is his responsibility. I'm worried that if I tell him he will then be upset with me when the issue is with his dad. I want them to have a good relationship but also if he wants to get married he should have considered the effect on his kid before getting engaged. Any opinions on this? Am I being petty? | My ex is getting re-married but wants me to tell our son so he won't get upset with him. I feel like it is his responsibility |
t3_4ga0ep | relationships | Girl I was seeing [F, 22] decides to not pursue a relationship with me [M, 24] because I'm not a Christian, but her story doesn't make sense... | Her and I have been seeing each other the past couple weeks, and we hit it off great, talked about so much stuff in our lives, had a great time together, and confessed that we both liked each other.
The other day, I learn that she's at a Christian concert "Outcry" and that topic comes up and she asks me if I was a Christian. I told her no and said we should talk about this more in person, which she agreed to.
Then I receive a long text saying how God is so important in her life, all her relationships and friendships are based off it, all her decisions are based off God's plan for her, etc etc. She doesn't even want to see me again.
The biggest confusion with her story is that our **first** night together, we had sex. Multiple times. She drinks, parties, used to smoke weed, and has a tattoo. If being a Christian was really that important to her, wouldn't she have brought it up from the very beginning? She mentioned nothing about her going to church, going on mission trips, or anything like that. She has friends who sleep around, too.
So is she bullshitting me, and there's more to it? Her and I are done so there's no trying to save this, but can anyone help me figure out what's going on in her head?
Thanks. | Girl breaks it off with me because I'm not a Christian, yet her previous actions do not exemplify someone who would be strong in her faith. Is she bullshitting me? |
t3_4az7wb | relationships | Me [28M] with my [24F]. She works long hours in car rental and I don't like it. | My fiance works for Enterprise and works a mandatory 53 hours a week and stays late every day. I work early and am often in bed by 9. When I do see her we're both exhausted, so sex life isn't where I want it to be. I hate to be suspicious and have no reason to be, but I wonder if she's not getting it from me, if she's getting it from some one else. Or at least wants to. All throughout the day she goes to people's houses to pick them up or goes to a bar with coworkers after work etc. Oh and we have a 2 yr old. | I hardly see my SO and I'm sad. Specifically, are there spouses of enterprise employees or SOs that work long hours? What do you do to stay happy/fufilled/idk? |
t3_2z9yc8 | relationships | My [22M] relationship with [21F] has an expiration date, we will break up at end of summer, but I'm losing interest. | First of all I want to say I really do adore my girlfriend and we promised to stay in contact, and stay friends after we break up. We are breaking up because we are both graduating University, but she is moving out of our country-- for good. I have already been consoled by my parents after I broke down and had a real good cry, but now that I have gotten that out of my system, I'm losing interest and want to start moving on. The trouble is I want to remain friends with her and her two male roommates, who she has known since high school. I feel like if I break up with her now, opposed to the fairy tale ending we had in mind with me seeing her off to the airport, I will ruin some life long friendships. Should I suck it up for the next few months, or break it off and enjoy my last couple months of University a little less stressed. | Relationship has an expiration date, should I break up now and enjoy rest of University life, or stick it out so no one gets hurt. |
t3_1anh5o | relationships | Me (28F) dating a married 32M with no divorce in sight...can I help speed him along? | So I started dating this guy about 3 months ago. He and his wife separated several years ago but he hasn't really done anything proactive about not just getting a divorce, but actually even filing for one. He's still paying half of their mortgage on a house he hadn't lived in for years...he still sees his (sort of) ex regularly because of house stuff...he often still wears his wedding ring...and the kicker was when his ex asked if he wanted a divorce he told her he didn't really know what he wanted. In spite of all that-we get along great and have a pretty good relationship. I guess what I'm asking is if there's any way I can help encourage him to go ahead and just pull the plug-legally- or if I should just give up the hope that he really wants to do that and is essentially stringing me along. Any time I bring it up he tells me how he just wants to move on from her, but he still won't do anything about it. | I'm dating a man I really like but he won't even file for divorce and its making me question his intentions. |
t3_2p0bjb | relationships | I [19 M] am trying to get a Girl [18 F] I know for 4 Months to meet me, but she lives 700km away. She is also very cold, how do I attempt to be romantic? | So I added this Girl on Skype, I know her over a buddy of mine. We talked for quite a while and I began to like her. By that time I still had eyes for my Ex, trying to get over her, which I eventually did.
She is... different. She is very pessimistic to be honest, but not all the time. I didn't get a lot of "I really like you" signals from her, except once. She told me, if she could have someone to cuddle her right now, I would be the first option. After loosing my first love, this heated my hearth.
But she also told me, how she really would like to meet me if I was near her. Well... I am not. And I am pretty sure I won't make her to fall in love with me, when I am just texting her. She also made pretty clear, that if we meet in Real Life, I should come to her :D.
Now the problem: She is working 6 days a week, with only Sunday being her free day. Her next Holidays are next year... And I honestly don't know how to ask her when the time comes.
Also, some tips for girls that are very, very... ehm... cold? I mean I want to attempt to write romantic and cute with her, but how should I start or get her to do that without suddenly changing the texts?
Thanks for any help! | Girl lives far away, want to meet her, but shes busy working 6 days a week, next holidays in 2015. How do I attempt asking her? How do I text a girl romantic, when she's so cold? |
t3_4lsgfq | relationships | I [15 M] like several people with varying degrees of friendship, but I know I would get rejected if I asked anyone out. Still worth it? | I have crushes on quite a few people I know. One of them is a pretty close male friend, but I'm pretty sure he's straight so that's off the table. I have a few other crushes on people I know, 1 of them is a female friend and the other 2 are just acquaintances.
I'm not someone who anyone could realistically be attracted to. I have good hygiene and I think I'm fairly nice, but I act pretty strangely at times, I'm annoying and clingy, I have a few psychological issues that I'm probably a little too open about, I look like I'm a lot younger than I am, my body is horrifying, and I'm very feminine. The whole lack of any self-confidence thing probably isn't attractive either.
Additionally, I'm close enough to several of the people I like that I know I'm nowhere near their type. My question is, being almost positive that I'll be rejected as I am, is it worth asking people out and risking my friendship with them, just for the chance they'll say yes / for the experience? Or should I try to change myself to fit what I think people would want to see in me?
side note: I realize my perception of myself is potentially a little skewed, but for the purposes of this question, assume that all the information I provided is accurate | I have crushes on several friends/acquaintances, and I'm not at all dating material. Is it worth asking them if I'm almost certain I'll be rejected? |
t3_17hdxb | relationships | My partner [18F] wants me [18M] to ask her to be my girlfriend in a very special way. | Me and this girl have been exclusive to each other for about 2 months now, we were best friends before and it eventually just elevated to what it is now. We are both 18 and she's always told me that she would never "officially" be my girlfriend unless i asked her out in a very special way. I know that it's childish and immature, but i care too much about her to even bring that up. Our relationship just happened out of nowhere and i want to take it to the next step but i just can't seem to think of an original/adorable/cute way to ask her out? She's big on marijuana usage so if you could incorporate that into it somehow that would be great! My budget is around $300.
Thanks so much! | My SO wants me to "officially" ask her out in a very special way but i just can't think of one. |
t3_1mf5bz | dating_advice | Whenever I[21/m] try to have an intellectual conversation with a woman they shy away. | I generally fair pretty well when asking a girl on a date. We generally talk about who we are, what we do etc. This works well for me, in relationships as well.
Lately I have been experimenting by talking about topics like science, philosophy, art, music and general socio-economical issues. The majority, not all, will shy away from such conversations, even when in a relationship. Slightly off topic this applies to female friends as well. Now it's definitely not because they aren't informed most are university students studying things like law, sciences and health.
Men on the other hand, no matter who they are are willing to have this type of conversation.
Is there a reason for this, am I doing something wrong? I can't understand why. I by no means try to push my own agendas. I always try to avoid any type of conflict so that is not my motive at all.
I would just love to be in a relationship where we can talk about such things. Sorry if this sounds sexist in anyway, it's not meant too, I'm just reporting observation. | The majority of women I talk to don't like or don't want to have deeper conversations, am I doing something wrong? |
t3_4b9510 | relationships | It's my [26F] birthday today. Am I wrong to feel sad if most my friends and brothers don't remember? | When it comes to my birthday, I always feel sad when the people I remember birthdays of, don't remember mine.
I have a Facebook but I have turned off the birthday reminder so only people who really care and think of me will wish me a happy birthday. However, today when my brother's wrote on my wall, no one has done the same.
I feel that at my age, I shouldn't be caring about this. I shouldn't be sad. However, I am still someone who cares what others think and desires a lot to be liked by others. I feel this has a lot to do with the sadness I feel when my friends forget my birthday. They're probably busy or distracted by other things. But I can't shift this sadness.
My brother's only wrote on my wall because I posted a picture of a present I got today, which I guess reminded them. I believe if I didn't do that, I would of heard nothing from them. Which makes me sad because I always remember theirs.
Am I wrong for feeling this sadness? | friends don't wish me a happy birthday in either text or Facebook and brothers don't remember my birthday. I feel sad and forgotten. Am I wrong for feeling like this? |
t3_jhkat | relationship_advice | I think I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship... | I know I need to leave him, but I'm just not sure if I should tell him I feel like he's an emotionally abusive partner when I have "the talk" with him. I'm afraid of him calling me overly sensitive and ignoring how I feel or just getting pissed that I could have the "nerve" to say something like that to him. He's done so much for me and he's treated me like a princess, but lately, he's been so uncaring and I've just been feeling like shit about myself regardless of what I do because I can't be what he 'needs' and I'm not sure if it's because he's stressed or what. | do I let my boyfriend know I feel like he's emotionally abusive or do I just ignore it because I may be overly sensitive and overreacting? |
t3_16mc4r | tifu | TIFU by destroying a chair with my enormity, in front of the board of directors of a bank | I work as a network security consultant. I am "a large human" (25 stones/350lbs/160kg).
Account manager and I are called to a bank to consult with their board of directors about the state of their IT -- the gov't has threatened to (literally) chain their doors shut if they don't un-fuck their IT apparatus in a hurry.
We're ushered into the board room and there are two chairs along the wall (presumably for us). We do informal introductions/handshakes/etc, and as I'm sitting down, the president of the bank starts to stand and say, "NOOOO!!!", but its too late. Mass in motion... stays in motion.
Instead of coming to rest in the chair, the chair decides to make itself into kindling and literally explodes into splinters.
There I sat, on the floor, confused and more than slightly embarrassed, with bits of wood stuck in my arm, bleeding, and a stunned room full of very rich and typically very crotchety old guys.
After they saw I was (mostly) okay, that's when the snickering began. At first softly, then... it became a roar. I picked myself up as best I could, but there was no recovering at that point.
When it was our turn to formally introduce ourselves, I began, "well, there's no need to break the ice as I've already broken your chair..." which was received with a GREAT DEAL of enjoyment. | broke a chair by sitting on it in front of the board of directors of a bank and still got the job we were there to pitch. |
t3_45tf6y | relationships | I [23F] want to break up with my boyfriend [24M] because he asked for a threesome | I just need to hear other people's thoughts on this. I have been with Alex for about 9 months, and we are in love.
This happened a week ago and I still have not been able to get over it. He basically sat me down and asked me to have a threesome with him and one of his acquaintances, Grace. I later learned that he's slept with her in a threesome before. He and his old girlfriend (Kelly) found Grace online through some dating app. They aren't really friends or anything, but I learned that they would periodically invite Grace into their bedroom for the experience.
He said it was completely my choice and that we obviously did not have to if I wasn't comfortable with it. There's no pressure on me at all. I told him I would think about it.
Here's the thing: I am *really* into monogamy. When I'm with somebody, I don't even *look* at other guys, and I could never IMAGINE wanting to have sex with somebody else. I don't judge others for wanting threesomes, it's their bodies to do with whatever they want. But I, personally, am kind of repulsed by the idea of sharing another woman with my boyfriend.
Honestly, the idea that he would even consider sleeping with somebody else in addition to me is really turning me off, to the point where I don't want to be with him anymore. I just feel like we are incredibly incompatible now. | Boyfriend wants a threesome with an acquaintance; I am so completely against the concept fundamentally that I am thinking of ending it with him because we are incompatible. |
t3_2pz9e6 | relationships | I [18M] am not sure if a girl [17F] in my class has a crush on me. | There is this girl in my class at school, she is ridiculously gorgeous. The way how she behaves with me makes me wonder if she likes me, she always flirts with me, touches me, stares at me, then when I look at her she blushes and smiles, etc... All the signs are there that she may have a crush on me or something. She does not behave like this with the other boys in the class at all, she always comes to sit next to me and talks with me. Then when she texts me, she uses words like "babe" "baby" and cute emotes. I don't know if I'm over analysing her behaviour.
The main thing that worries me is, this girl is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my life, everyone knows she is the hottest girl in the school by far. Her personality is also incredible, she is the most amazing girl ever. Then there is me... I am not good looking at all and I have always known this, girls generally never find me attractive, I even consider myself to be ugly lol. So I'm just sitting here thinking, why on earth would this girl approach me? She is WAAAAY out of my league, so it makes me think that she cannot possibly have a crush on me.
I am thinking that I should do a little bit more investigation and wait a bit and find out if she actually likes me before I do anything to embarrass myself, what should I do? | Girl in my class is giving me the vibe that she like me, however I feel as if this is impossible because she is so beautiful and I am ugly. |
t3_4l88r6 | relationships | My marriage is ending and I don't know how I feel about it. | Hi /r/relationships , I am 30/F, have been married to 29/M, for 3+ years, and before that, had been dating my husband for almost 3 years (we knew and understood each other well enough). Ever Since we started living together, i saw some dark sides of his behavior, we talked about it, and tried to work it out and vice versa. However, These episodes keep on coming back, like once a quarter kinds. This is changing me as a person and I don't appreciate this change in myself. They are making me negative and bitter. I don't match his definition of compatibility, so we decided to end this relationship.
Now, I had left my job and moved to US with him on a dependent visa (since 2 years). I had used up all my savings on the wedding as at that time, my husband was a student and couldn't have afforded to share the costs. So, now I am broke, my marriage is over, I am still on a dependent visa here, and I don't want to go back home to my parents paying for me.
My parents love my husband, I never discussed any of the negative things about him so they think of him like some godsend husband for their daughter. My mom has a heart condition, and she'll literally die if I tell her that I want a divorce.
I have asked my husband to just pay me whatever my last salary was, for the number of months i've not been working. I thought that was fair. I don't want anything more than just what I lost because of a decision that we took. I don't want to play the blame game or even continue doing this for longer. So, i ask, what would you have done had you been in my shoes? | 6 year old relationship and marriage getting over, and I am broke completely (emotionally, and financially). What should I do? |
t3_3umak0 | relationships | My (31M) sister in law (34F) and I had a affair, we both realized that what we did was wrong and have sworn not to do so again, what is a good way to move forward in my, well our marriages? | My sister in law and I are in laws by marriage. She is married to my wife's older brother. Earlier this year we wound up in an affair, we all live close to each other and our jobs take less time than our SOs so we wound up getting too close and ended up having an affair.
We agreed to end it earlier this month and work on our marriages, we agreed it couldn't continue and our SOs didn't deserve this. For the record they are both wonderful people, he's a great brother in law and friend and has a good job. My wife is the kindest woman I've ever known and there are days when I hate how I've betrayed her and I know my sil feels similarly about her husband as he's a stand up guy.
They did nothing to deserve this. Not the lying and cheating. None of it. So how can we make our marriages work? I know I will get roasted hard and I am asking for both of us but I do love my wife as she loves her husband. We want to spend our lIves with them.
We talked about confessing but it might do more harm than good and really fuck up an absolutely wonderful family.
So what can I do to make things better moving forward? | had an affair with sil, she's married to my wife's brother, we decided to end the affair and really throw our all into our marriages |
t3_3j8bfg | tifu | TIFU by writing a poem in front of my girlfriend. | Background: Me: (24-M) GF (24)-Dating for over a year, Awesome Dad: (55)
So today is my Dad's birthday and like family tradition, for every birthday, Father's day and Christmas, I wrote a poem for him. It was something I started back in middle school, and well, fuck it, I like writing poems okay? So this particular morning I was staying over with my girlfriend and realized I hadn't yet made the card, so she (being the crafty woman she is) dished out some card stock for me to throw down some stanzas for my dad. In about 10 minutes I had a solid 12-line poem on the inside, and a crappy drawing of a birthday cake on the front. Mission accomplished and I was ready to get home to celebrate the personal holiday with my dad.
Unfortunately, My girlfriend, whom I also tend to write poems for with her birthday, anniversary, valentines, christmas and whatever remotely heart-throbbing holiday pops up on her Cosmo calendar, saw how quickly I wrote it, and proceeded to interrogate me about "how much thought I really put into her cards."
Now I should mention, my girlfriend is great and we've never had an arguement or anything remotely close to one, but she seemed a bit unsettled. "Dr_Dilaudid, does it really only take you like, 5 seconds to write something like that?". So, as all the superhero's and mentors I've had growing up preach, I thought honesty was the best policy.
"Well yeah, there are tons of words and they rhyme, making a simple poem doesn't take much time." (literally what I said to be clever). This led to her wondering how much of the stuff I had actually said in her poems I MEANT, and how she MIGHT have been putting forth a bit more effort in her gifts (which honestly she does, they are freaking awesome, like a custom candy box she refills every week, a "lovebook" from a website, etc).
Needless to say she wants me to "step up my game" or at least not put it on a piece of wrinkled or lined paper. | Wrote a birthday card for my Dad, Girlfriend saw, got a bit mad, Now my poems need more zest, details above if you want the rest. |
t3_1ltr2k | dating_advice | Keep getting stood up (F21) by (M24)... should it be three strikes and he's out? | Sorry if this is a repeat... but I sort of need some advice. I have never really been the dating type but an acquaintance from a couple years ago (who I have always had a crush on) asks me out a month ago, but due to scheduling issues (on both of our ends) we weren't able to set a date until a couple of days ago. However in between setting a date and the actual date he was in a car accident, so he has some unexpected appointments popping up.
We have rescheduled twice and both he has flaked: the original date and the first reschedule because of appointments and the second reschedule because he had a dinner he had to go to, but he asked at what time I was free at and said he would try to sneak out early.
It is now almost 10pm and I haven't even gotten a text from him saying he cannot make it. I am over-reacting by getting a little pissed? Should I even bother trying to set up another date with him or is he not interested and just messing with me?
Sorry if this comes across as a rant but I am sort of frustrated at the moment. | Let me know in advance that he was bailing on our dates and rescheduled... but this time not even a text, is he even interested? |
t3_stbd8 | self | What to say in my discussion with friend tomorrow (female) | Hello everyone, I am a male for starters.
Tomorrow i have the perfect opportunity to talk to my female best friend about what has been happening between us, but im not sure what to say...
We have been good friends for over a year now, both of us are in year 11 and share about half our classes together. She hangs out with a rather large group of girls, which i usually hang out with now to.
Everything was good, we where hanging out alot after school, having fun e.t.c.
Now in the past 2 months, she has told me she had been lying to me basically for the past 10 months about something you would never even joke about... And then lied to me again over these school holidays that just finished. Now it also seems that she barley cares about me anymore. Though she can be nice in class, as she usually gets a lot of help off me.
This is starting to affect the quality of my life, so i have decided to talk to her tomorrow, so reddit, what are some things i should discuss with her, keeping in mind that i would like to remain at least friends. Im thinking about bringing up how she feels about me, and with me being around all the time. | Going to talk to my best friend of the opposite gender tomorrow who is now starting to be a bitch towards me, what should i bring up in the talk? |
t3_32gqzn | relationships | Me [20 f] with my boyfriend [22 M] 6 months, kissed someone else | Hey guys, throwaway account because I'm paranoid and plan on deleting this eventually so no one I know finds it.
So this relationship has been probably the best one I've ever been in. Trust, communication, all that good stuff. If we disagree we are able to all about it calmly and we usually see eye to eye. We also want similar things in the future and we both agree we have long term potential. Onto the issue:
A few nights ago, one of his friends dared him to kiss his friend, who is a girl. They are very good friends. I know for a fact he is not interested in her physically. He said he did not think anything of it because a) he was very drunk. Which is unusual for him, and b) he said it was like kissing his sister. It was not making out, just a quick kiss. He said he just wanted to shut his friend up, who had been daring him similar but worse (make out with her, etc) for a while.
I have been cheated on before. I've had a lot of really shitty relationships - hitting, verbal abuse, cheating, unwarranted invasions of privacy before. So I am just really really hurt. I see kissing as cheating. In this situation, I don't find it so much leaning towards cheating as 'you did something incredibly hurtful, you know I've been cheated on, you should have known it would hurt.'
I don't know exactly what I'm asking for. Some sort of advice? I don't want to break up. I just feel hurt and while I forgive him, I'd like some advice on trust perhaps. Because right now I don't trust him fully, to not hurt me.
He is incredibly sorry, apologized multiple times, is beating himself up about this, and realises it was a huge, hurtful mistake, for a little more info. | Bf kissed a girl friend. I am hurt as I have been cheated on before. Don't quite trust him to not hurt me. How do I deal with this? |
t3_rapc9 | AskReddit | I need some Ideas... | I just found out that my cousins (he's 35) cancer (Adenoid cystic carcinoma) came back and he starts treatment on April third at Dana Farber in Boston (which is a 3 hour drive from where they live).
My mom passed away from colon cancer when I was thirteen so I have an Idea what he is going through. I remember hating getting all of the casseroles and the looks of pity, what I don't remember is what helped. I want to do something special but not cliche for him, to make treatment and the weekly drives more bearable.
This is what I have so far:
A pocket sized map of Boston that I'm going to mark with all of the spots my dad and mom liked to go.
Mad libs
Gas/food gift cards
Fruit-because who the heck doesn't like fruit.
Idk maybe a pimped out puke bucket?
So if you have had, or know someone who has had cancer, what helps treatment not suck? | My cousin has cancer, what are some things I can do or give to help treatment/the long drive to treatment suck less. |
t3_4gxmsj | relationships | Me [18 F] with my Sister [20s F] afraid she's lost her grip on reality and will harm us | I recall her previously being very social but she's also very arrogant so she would drop good friends with little or no notice and simply avoid them before moving on to the next group of people. Inevitably she fell into a bad crowd and was on some drugs for a bit until she was forbade from seeing them. She lost those friends and just started holing up in her room and you rarely ever saw her unless it was during a meal. She left for university a year or two ago but returned with no degree and refused discuss any future plans. Her behavior after her return is beyond bizarre. Lots of social anxiety and paranoia surrounding other people. This all escalated until a couple months ago. She actually had an episode and began spewing some pretty crazy stuff and had vivid audible hallucinations which luckily stopped after the hospital she was admitted to sedated her and put her on some strong (mood stabilizers ?) medication. For a good bit there she even appeared to be recovering. She was dressing better (she had been wearing the same 3-4 pairs of clothing from her teenage years), was more communicative and involved as well as left the house regularly, which she previously never did. But she stopped taking the medication she was prescribed because she claimed they made her feel unwell and she quickly fell back into old habits. Lately she's just been circling between different rooms where she'll stop, stare off into space and then continue on to the next area. She's also gotten into this incredibly disturbing habit of laughing to herself every 5 minutes or so and at seemingly nothing. This has been going on for several days continuously. For whatever reason she hasn't been returning to work so I'm worried they've fired her. I feel she's slowly losing her grasp on reality. I know she should be consulting a professional and the hospital released her only on the basis that she would return regularly for check ups and recieve more medication (she hasn't) but she's well-built and aggressive as well as dangerous. You obviously couldn't diagnose her over the internet but any broad idea what this could be symptoms of? What should we do? We don't have the man power to force her to do anything without her physically retaliating or even getting arrested. | Sister returned from university, had hallucinations, is aggressive and detached from reality and refuses to take medication or go back to the hospital. |
t3_1cqxdw | loseit | I am afraid to use the scale. | Hi everyone. I'm a 19 year old uni student who eventually got fed up with his body and decided to set some serious life goals, one including losing all my extra weight no matter how long it takes me or how hard it is going to be.
This was two weeks ago and frankly I am proud of myself changing my diet from the usual take-out or fast food to healthy meals in the day including salads and fruit for the first time in my life. AND I LOVE IT. I honestly enjoy my meals more than before when I ate like 2-3 people together.
I recently hit the gym,something I've done before but I was never as serious as now, and after some days I worked out a routine that works best for me and makes me happy.
I have seen change in my body even though its only two weeks time into my journey, mostly through the fitting of my clothes but I guess that is at least **some** indication, and I am really really pleased.
My problem though is the following: I weighed myself before I started and found to be 286lbs. After the initial shock of how big I've become I saw past that and motivated myself. After two weeks of progress though, and even though im EXTREMELY happy with myself and even more motivated to keep going, I can't bring myself to use the damn machine to get a new number. I feel like I will be disapointed from the numerical representation of my progress... Do I keep going on like that or do I really need to use the scale to keep track of how I'm doing? | Decided to lose weight two weeks ago; going strong; feel great-happy; was 286lbs; too afraid to use the scale cause I might get disapointed. |
t3_3eu8tb | relationships | Found out that my roommate [23 M] was cheated on by his girlfriend [24 F] of 5 years | They had been together for 5 years and recently broke up. He never treated her right and the relationship was toxic, so she made the right decision breaking up with him.
But I recently found out that she was cheating on him for about the last month of their relationship. I've been trying to decide whether or not I should tell him. I had decided not to, since they had already broken up.
But today he tells me that he thinks they might get back together. She knows that I know about everything, so it would be pretty weird between us if they got back together.
If this were any of my other friends, it would be a no brainer to tell them. But he has some serious anger issues and I worry about what would happen if he found out.
Another worry I have is that if I do tell him, she would probably tell him that I knew all along. And knowing him, he would not forgive me and it would ruin my living situation (just signed a year long lease)
I wish I would've just told him in the beginning, but I didn't because I knew she was planning on ending things with him anyways. | Roommates girlfriend cheated on him, I found out. They broke up and now might get back together. Not sure whether I should tell him or not. |
t3_3bdk2f | tifu | TIFU by trying to get more friends on snapchat... | So yes this actually happened today...someone will probably find the thread because I'm not using a throwaway but ah whatever. I'm a pretty avid Snapchat user, I love posting and also watching cool snaps, I came across r/snapchat and noticed throughout it I noticed a lot of [F4A] posts getting lots of attention.
Wondering what that meant I decided to turn to my best friend Google, clicked on the first result and the first definition I got was "Free for all", I thought sweet, that's what people use when they want anyone and everyone to add them up so I figured I'd take a stab at it.
Here's my FU...I went ahead and created my thread "23 [F4A]" and left my snapchat username, I was so happy when I began receiving a plethora of adds. I was even happier when the people started engaging me, "Hey! How's it going?" from a few of my initial new snap friends, so nice! Then things started to get weird...a couple of people asked me for selfies, then a few asking for me to show them something "fun", and then some shirtless random males asking for me to return the favor.
It was at this point that I knew I had f***** up...I double checked and realized that [F4A] was used by females and proceeded to delete the thread ASAP. | didn't realize how reddit illiterate I am and accidentally made myself appear to be a female when I am really male. |
t3_1a70xv | tifu | TIFU by making my girlfriend cry. | A little back story - My girlfriend and I are both 16 and this is my first major serious relationship. We've been "official" since February 26th and she's met my parents and I've met hers.
So she picks me up from school today and we finished up some math and English homework together. After that my bestfriend and his girlfriend come over and we head upstairs to my room and look at yearbooks and listen to music. We eat dinner and then my friend leaves and my gf and I go downstairs and watch Drive, make out here and there and then I grab a blanket because she was cold and lay it over us. The movie finishes and we start another movie with only 30 minutes until she has to go home. We start making out more and soon enough she is riding me (we still have clothes on) and I start feeling her up her shirt when all of a sudden I see a dark figure out of the corner of my right eye and my heart stops. Time slows and my gf squeals and hops off and pulls her shirt back up.
It was my dad.
He says that he is going to leave soon and that she needs to start packing up to head home. (It was true, but he said it in a very weird way) She's laying on the couch staring and me and I'm staring at her. She was so embarrassed. I walk her to her car and tell I'm sorry and that we'll make it through this and stuff. As soon as I walk back into my house my dad is right there and talks about how she isn't allowed upstairs at all and how the room will have all of the lights on and no blanket will be covering her. He says he is dissapointed in me and I'm certain he doesn't respect me or her as much anymore. She calls her best friend (my best friend's gf) crying and now I'm trying to talk to her and tell her it's O.K. TIFU | Made out/felt up girlfriend, dad walked in, dad is pissed, privileges stripped, girlfriend is embarrassed and crying. |
t3_34vt6u | self | I hate how much I hate my dad...please help | I hate my dad. Just him as a person. I have since I was in elementary school (I'm in uni now). The way he talks to people in a very patronizing and sometimes condescending way, how he is so set in his ways that it's just plain rude to other people (if he doesn't like something he will literally throw it or just move it to where he likes it EVERY DAMN TIME HE SEES IT even if it's not even remotely in his way), the way it takes him 100x longer to explain anything than it should, the way he's one of those people who are embarassingly nice to other people in public. He doesn't carry on a conversation with something you're interested in; he always starts talking about something he likes as soon as you're done, whether it's related or not. And it's always something he's told you about at least 10 times before. He doesn't ask you to do things, he TELLS you to do them.
But...he is the most loving, caring father who has helped provide for and raise 5 children (me being the 4th). He is so patient, even with me, who does not always treat him that nicely. He would do anything for his family, and pretty much anyone really.
Everything he does frustrates me to no end. During the school year I don't live with my parents so it's much better and I can actually carry on a civil conversation with him over the phone. However when I come home and see all the things he does with the house that make absolutely no sense and just does not look nice at all I get so worked up. My mom just accepts it and gets mad at me when I say anything about it. I realize this is 100% my own issue and I need to learn to get over it, but it honestly is so hard. I really don't want to create a bad relationship with him as I grow into an adult. Moreover, I don't want my mom to start resenting me because of my hatred.
Please if anyone has any advice to help me get over this and be more patient with him I would be so grateful. | Basically my dad annoys the living shit out of me and I want to learn how to be more accepting of him and his ~~fucking dumb~~ habits. |
t3_2ka22c | relationships | I (29F) need help with my spouse (31M) | When we met, the relationship was mutually respectful and fulfilling. Now it is withdrawn and he is disconnected on every level. Our sex life is good in variety and frequency, although it meets his needs more frequently than mine. Emotionally and intimately, we are in a terrible place. He puts my family last in his life. If there's a family event, he just doesn't go. He doesn't care if I go or the kids. He just says he will be bored and just leave early. If it's just the two of us, he's very thoughtful and buys me gifts and goes on family outings. It's just my friends and family he never wants to see. My family has often questioned it and I don't know what to say. Nothing happened to him on terms of bad memories or awkwardness. We are from different countries and cultures, however.
I have never treated him or his family like this, I've met his coworkers and friends, and attended family functions. I told him that I feel like he's rejecting a piece of me every time. He says that's not true but I can think whatever I want. I am miserable and alone, sinking into a deep pit of depression. I am not being abused in any way as I'm free to meet with friends and family with my kids whenever. I have discretely checked all records, emails, texts, router logs (terrible, I know) and he isn't hiding anything except generic porn. He has promised to try therapy so I can get over 'my issues' but hasn't done it yet.
Please men of reddit, give me some advice. What can I do to show him that this hurts me? How can I get through to him? I feel like I'm dying inside. | Six years of marriage, two kids, healthy sex life, spend a lot of time as a family, no red flags but my husband refuses to spend time with my family or friends and I go alone. This is killing me. |
t3_2mq9d9 | relationships | Recently saw my [24f] ex [24m] on a date | Relationship didn't end so hot. We were basically together for 7-8 months (didn't establish relationship early, there was a few week breakup somewhere in there). I got jealous (I've never been jealous before) of one of his female friends (who I, and his friends agreed he had an emotional thing with), he got paranoid and untrustworthy (I never did anything to make him think otherwise), and he was mostly haunted by how his ex ended (so I was probably a rebound). But damn I never loved someone so much in my entire life. I've tried moving on, not with anything serious because I know I'm not even close to ready for something serious. It's been 5 months. Saw him recently on a date. Found out he's been dating her for about a month and they're already talking about moving in together. I don't know how I feel. Part of me is so damn angry at him and wants to yell and scream and punch him. But part of me is still attracted, and when I see him all that anger is instantly gone. And part of me wonders WHY. He was my life, my future (fell so hard for him), and he never felt half as much for me as I did him. And I'm guaranteed to run into him again in the future. Anyone have any experience with this ?? | ran into ex of 5 months, he's already in an apparently super serious relationship and I don't know how I feel about it. |
t3_1krqeu | relationships | Me[24M] with BF[22M] (5 months), I love him, but he loves more, more enough to make me feel I don't love him enough. | Hello all, I'm a bisexual man having problems with his boyfriend. The main problem is I'm not used to be loved this much, I feel like I'm swimming in a sea of love, desire and interest. Part of me finds comfort in that but at the other hand I feel guilty of not sharing this feelings as much as he do.
He sends morning texts to me, thinks of me when he wins some prize tickets or games. When we have conflicting ideas, it is usually my idea that comes out victorious out of that conflict. He tries to please me all the time, my taste slowly becomes "our" taste. I warn him kindly when he does something wrong, while he stays silent until I make him too much uncomfortable. Our close friends say that his eyes shine and he smiles brightly when my name is mentioned anywhere.
I, on the other hand, am much more independent. I usually don't remember sending him texts, think of good gifts and stuff. In a race of being a lovable valentine, he beats me in every aspect. I don't want to lose someone who loves me this much, and even if I wanted to, breaking up with him would devastate him. But I'm insanely scared about getting tired of being drowned in endless love someday. And also feel guilty about not giving "the amount of attention and love he gives me" to him. I don't have enough of those "shiny-lovely stuff".
He had very unlucky relationships with girls, and I'm his first BF, and he had his first sex with me. | I know I'm in love my BF, but BF loves me much much more and I feel guilty and upset about not being in love as much as he is. |
t3_pcg2b | AskReddit | What was one of your most memorable high school memories? | I'll start off.
Every morning I would get off the bus when I got to school and walk to a side street for a cigarette. While I was standing there smoking my cigarette, this girl who I've never seen before pulls up and just says, "Get in." I saw this girl who I had known and sort of had a thing for in the passenger seat though, so I got in. The second I get in I get a blunt passed to me. I found out later that the girl who was driving was on ecstacy and she was going like 65 on side streets.
I ended up getting a blowjob from the girl in the passenger seat about 15 minutes later. | Went to side street in the morning to smoke a cigarette, girl pulls up and says, "Get in." I get in. Instantly get a blunt passed to me. Get a blowjob. |
t3_n9uuk | relationships | Long distance relationship, worries about future. | On throwaway here because my bf is a redditor as well. We are both in our 20s and been dating for 3 years (been friends for about 5 months before we started dating), currently in long distance relationship.
Lived together on and off for about 8 months. He is almost done with his education (graduating in May )and I still have 2 years to go. For the past few years he was the only one visiting me, because of visa issues.
I am a daughter of economical immigrants and I even though I lived in Europe for 10 years, I am still not a citizen and I can travel only to countries in Schengen zone but my bf lives in UK. I tried to apply for a visa twice but both times they refused me (for ridiculous reasons like nationality, bank account opened too recently etc.).
He said he might stay with me during summer after he graduates but after that he has to find a job and start working.
Problem is that even if we talk about future like marrying and having kids in like 10 years etc. We haven't made any exact plans. I have no idea where this is going. He won't be able to visit me while he is working, even if eventually I will be able to get a visa to visit him I won't be able to stay for long.
And after I am done with university as well, I will have to start working as well so we both won't be able to visit each other.
I don't know what kind of solution we could think of and I really don't know how to bring up the legal problems. He never had to deal with anything like this but I had to deal with it basically half of my life, I don't think these problems feel real to him.
I grew up surrounded by a lot of racism and prejudice, I am starting to feel really uncomfortable about the whole situation.
All I know is that I don't want to lose him.
Has anyone been in similar situation? What did you do? | my bf lives in a different country and won't be able to visit me after he starts working, I can't visit him because of legal issues (visa). |
t3_422oe5 | relationship_advice | I [22m] don't know whether to cut it off with my ex [22f] after a breakup. | hey /r/relationship_advice,
I recently broke up with my gf of 1 year this past december. To sum it up, it started off as any strong relationship did and we were as happy as ever, but after a big fight things were never the same. I think that all the trust was gone from her end and she thought everything I did that hurt her was on purpose and to destroy the relationship.
One thing that happened after the break up is that she was going through a hard time and she wanted me to be there for her. I was not taking this break-up very well and I unfortunately couldnt be there and she was very upset with me.
On top of that, I'm having lots of problems defining how the 'friendship' is defined and what it entails. Also, I feel as if a lot of the time we talk, it turns into a conversation about how I fucked up this relationship and how I was at fault. To add a piece of note, I would also feel guilty about cutting off this 'friendship' because I have promised her from the beginning/ after the relationship that I would help her with something that only I can help her with.
So I'm here now. I haven't been taking this break up well and not really taking care of myself. This post probably makes any sense but I haven't been able to focus on anything for about a week. I want to be there for her and I want her to be successful, I know I can get through this and be myself. But I know it'll take longer and will be harder if I maintain contact.
Is there any thing I can suggest to have a positive effect on both parties? To create a win-win scenario where I can take better care of myself and she can still have me to support her?
Thanks in advance, | Ex needs help and wants to maintain contact but I'm stuck in the middle whether I should put myself through a little bit of troubles to help her, or to do the best thing for me and cut contact. |
t3_4eegoy | personalfinance | Class Action Lawsuit | I work for Lowe's and received mail from a class action lawsuit, Brown et all v Lowe's, that allows me to opt out of the class action lawsuit, turn something in to receive a payment if Brown et all win, or do nothing and stay included, but don't receive anything if a settlement is reached. I found [this] about it but I don't really understand what the lawsuit is about or what is going on. Should I opt in for a settlement allotment? Should I opt out for fear of my future opportunities with Lowe's? I really want to get far with this company, and while I'm sure it's illegal for them to punish me for staying in, but will that actually stop them? | what is Brown et all v Lowe's about and should I opt out, opt in case of a settlement, or do nothing and stay opted but without ant settlement possibilities? |
t3_42zsrv | relationships | Me [24 M] unsure of how to feel about friends[23 M] "crush" [22 F] | My friend is currently talking to a girl that he has had a crush on for around 2 years. They used to be fairly close, but around 6 months or so ago she told him that they were no more than friends. He didn't really take much notice to it and is still talking to her and is hopeful they will be together soon.
About a month ago I got her number for an unrelated issue about another friend. At first we only talked about the subject at hand. But recently we started talking about ourselves more, and we have found out we have a lot in common. I have talked to her for hours at a time the past week or so and I really enjoy it. But at the same time I feel bad for my friend because I know he still likes this girl, even though she turned him down a few months ago.
They are still friends and that is what makes this tough. I feel guilty for enjoying talking to her as much as I do, and I know I should talk to him about it. But he is the kind of person that is sort of possessive with girls, even though they were never offical. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I also want to keep talking with this girl as well. I could use some help! | I like the same girl that my friend likes, but I feel like she has feelings for me instead of for him. I don't want to lose contact with either of them. |
t3_10ern4 | AskReddit | Most screwed up thing you have done in school?And what Should i do in my situation? | So today was proably a large lesson for me.
Well we were given a writing assignment and had to make a character out of the contents in a bag. I was in a group of two with my friend (we shall call him "josh" for now) Josh.
The writing assignment we screwed up on contained the following: a SRA test booklet, a Pearl Vision and Yankees coupon,and a set of teachers notes. The person we made was a teacher named Mr. Magillycutty (I Love Lucy) and we made him ''offensive''.
We said that he crushed students dreams and failed his SRAs as a child. Well that seemed offensive in some way to my teacher and she said it was horrible what we did blah blah blah, you were just trying to be funny. Now the other group witch my best friend was in won by default ,but they had the same thing but they didnt use any examples. | wrote a story about a mean teacher, got flipped out on, freinds won by default yet they had the same thing. |
t3_zid0t | personalfinance | Re-applying for credit after corrections have been made. | Hi everyone, I was denied for a credit card from Chase at the end of July. At which time, I found two errors on my credit report (an account in collections and an account still open with "mystery" missed payments, that I had closed three and a half years ago). I have since had those errors corrected (and purged) and my credit score has gone up by nearly 100points!
I have called TransUnion to send my updated credit report to Chase. When I called Chase, they said that I would have to fill out a new application. My concern is, will this add another hard inquiry to my report? I already have three (one is for my Amazon store card, which I was approved for, the other was pulled for my apartment, and the last is the most recent Chase card, which was declined).
I would like to use this card to help re-build my credit by using it for strictly gas and grocery shopping, but I am unsure if it would be wise for me to apply again. My history is still not spotless, I'm still recovering from some missed payments from almost four years ago, but since the beginning of 2009 all my other payments have been on time. | Is it worth it to resubmit an application for denied credit after corrections to your credit report were made? Will this result in another hard inquiry?* |
t3_30bnf4 | tifu | TIFU by saying a kid with down syndrome had a retarded face... | So to start with this is my first post so I'm sorry for any mistakes but here we go...
First I'll set the scene, I'm in high school on my schools weight lifting team, and I generally hang out with some buddies in the front of the school after practice. We joke around, act like dumbasses, you know the usual. Also I am a very nice guy who never intentially hurts someone's feelings (important later).
Now for the fuck up. So I'm sitting with my buddy after practice waiting to get picked up when he gets a face time from his brother saying that him and his dad are on the way to pick my buddy up. I look over to see his brothers face at a weird angle and for some reason my dumb ass brain blurts, "why is he making that retarded face?" (Meaning why does he look different, I have no idea why it came out the way did). My friend looks at me and says, "He has down syndrome asshole." Then I hear I sort of moan coming from his phone. I look down to see his brother crying. I made a kid with down syndrome cry. Being the nice guy that I am I had no idea what to do, I had never made someone cry in my life. At this point my friend is pretty mad and cursing me out and his dad was hearing it all and from what I heard was also pissed. So I pretend to get a call from my ride and slowly back away, proceed to trip on the bench, fall on my ass, get up and sprint away to the nearby taco bell. Where I then order a quesorito to help myself feel better. I'm still cringing while I type this at my house. My face has never gotten that red. | Said my friend's little brother's face looked retarded, found out said brother has down syndrome, pissed off the whole family, got a guilt burrito at taco bell. |
t3_3dhmw1 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [29M] of 1 year, I think he wants more freedom and I don't know how to proceed. | My boyfriend and I have known each other for 1 year and so far, the relationship is fine.
Except he's the type of guy that wants his space and values his freedom very much.
Keep in mind that we live 45 minutes across from one another, in the same city and we meet up maximum 2 or 3 times a week.
We had some discussions in the past about how he's not communicating enough, when he has a problem, he doesn't speak to me, he just shuts in himself, and in the last few weeks, when I go see him at his apartment, he would do literally anything else besides stay with me 1 or 2 minutes to just talk, making me feel very lonely. When confronted, he said that it's just a phase, and nothing personal so I let it go.
Anyway, fast forward to today, I was alone in his apartment and I looked in his facebook messages (I know, I am horrible for doing that, I did it out of curiosity, not because I suspect him of cheating, but because I wanted to know how he talks about me in conversations with his friends, because he rarely talks to me) and found numerous links to articles about tinder, "the fappening", sex, relationships and such.
He was talking with his friends about how when you're in a "serious" relationship, you lose your social skills, and the sharpness of your mind. He said that it must feel good for a friend of his to visit other countries by himself, to be free. The general idea was that he feels he is losing something.
I feel greatly saddened about his thinking this way, moreso because he goes out with his friends whenever he wants to, even saturday nights. The last thing I want to do is not offer him his freedom.
What I know for sure is that I will not go through his personal stuff again, I feel guilty about this and I have a heavy conscience. | My boyfriend acts like he wants more freedom from this relationship, even though I let him do pretty much whatever he wants to. |
t3_3863o1 | askwomenadvice | Been through alot of crap with a girl m18. | I know I have posted alot here I get it yell at me if you want, but you all have been very helpful and I appreciate it.
I have my own issues and a girl I met before we were going into school helped me get to know the place and really wanted to become friends. She showed me around and was outgoing and which I mentioned I have some depression and slight Asperger's which makes things feel horrible so feeling good was easy because of her. Okay she helps me out, socializes with me, supports me etc etc.
Later on we grow as friends, I grew some feelings for her but never said it to her. I contacted her slightly too much (dont think harrasment or stalking, just thing slightly annoying) and it was offputting to her =/ Okay totally respectable, I didnt know, but she blocked me and wanted space.
Currently now, I am blocked on some things. First of all, you could have just told me to back off and I would have. Second she sets standards for people and she does not even follow them herself and is arrogant alot to me and others. We had our fights very rarely but I still like her for everything she has done and helped with. She says we are friends and always is smiling happy around me. I would not really be better without alot of her help. While I felt I was wrong, she is too alot of the time, if so, more than me.
my point is that it is completely unfair to ditch her atm, but I also want to resolve things. She is so emotional and sometimes rude and a bit crazy, but I would like to maybe try to help her work at her own issues. I have backed off and feel right to work on my own issues and almost everyone I meet knows me as sweet, nice or well spoken/gentleman even with my own issues that I deal with and worry about, but outside stress and depression kill me often. It just does not feel right for working so hard to be normal and have someone great come to me and feel happy and have it all go to waste or lose it.
I am sorry if I cannot explain myself well, just its confusing | Girl and I both have our own issues and arguments, but it would make me happy if I could see it through and resolve the problem and feel great again. |
t3_3o947l | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] 5 years, I decided to temp. stop drinking about a month ago and recently decided to make it a permanent change and she is really upset about it. | Little background. My gf and I used to love going to craft breweries and enjoying trying different styles and flavors. We are not alcoholics and it was responsible drinking. About a month ago i was at a party and binge drank, woke up the next morning feeling like shit and decided i wanted to stop drinking completely.
Even though i rarely got drunk to the point of getting a really bad hangover, about once every month or so, I wanted to see how i felt if I completely cut out the alcohol.
Long story short this past month I have felt really good. I feel like i made a positive change, i have more money in my bank account, I am losing weight, and i don't waste entire days to nursing a hangover.
Well, my GF has also stopped drinking to support me. I never asked her to, but she wanted to. She originally thought it would be a temporary thing, but recently when i told her i wanted to make it a permanent change she completely flipped out. She was mad saying she wasn't comfortable with it and didn't want to give up that activity which brought with it many good times.
I don't really know what to say to her, because i feel like i am making a positive change for my health. My question is, what do i do? I don't feel like i need to drink again because she doesn't want to stop. | I quit drinking and my gf is upset, feels like she is being forced to quit also. I have never once said she needs to stop drinking |
t3_1ed202 | relationships | [Update]I [F25] looked up my husbands [M26] reddit history and am uncomfortable with his comments in GW | So, shortly after I posted my [original question] I sent him a text letting him know I wanted to talk to him that night - He's away at school right now and we don't always call every night (forgot that in my original) - He asked me what it was about and I just said Reddit. He got pretty defensive right away and ended up going to bed early before I could call him. So I just sent him a long text.
In summary I told him I was sorry for getting upset, because as many of you figured out, a lot of this was stemming from the fact that I hadn't fully let go of the past. While I'm still looking into therapy options, I decided to take a positive step forward and put my full trust in him again. Something I realized I hadn't done, which I think is holding me back from moving on.
I did still tell him that it bothered be for two primary reasons:
1- It opened the door way for a dialogue - even if it wasn't probable.
2 - If I was posting suggestive things on Reddit I'm sure he'd be upset too.
However, I wasn't gong to ask that he stop because I trust him not to cross any lines by actually communicating directly with these girls. I told him I left the decision to him and I would let the issue drop.
Tonight we spoke on the phone and he said to forget about it because he deleted the posts and he understood my point of view. I don't know if he'll post in the future and I'm not going to ask. I'm going to trust that he will conduct himself appropriately and move forward in working on a stronger relationship together. | Told him what bothered me but ultimately left him free to do whatever he wanted - he deleted the posts and understood my point of view. |
t3_wkv6b | AskReddit | Should I be concerned that my partner doesn't share my enthusiasm for having a baby in the future? How do men typically feel about babies anyway? | I am not sure how well my partner would do if we were to have a baby. I fear that he wouldn't love the baby like I would or that he wouldn't "get it." Have any other female redditors had this fear? He and I have had plenty of discussions, and he seems to want children in the future, but there is no enthusiasm or passion from him when we discuss it. Its like a "Yeah, of course I want kids with you. We'll do that when we're ready." But that is the end of it. I had another serious boyfriend before and he was more excited with me, and would playfully think of names with me. But the guy I'm with now, who I am serious about, doesn't have that quality. Should I expect it from him? Should I be weary that he won't be a good dad? He doesn't seem to like to play with kids. He babysits his niece and nephew "because he has to" but doesn't enjoy doing it. I love playing with kids and babies, but he shows no interest. Is it a male thing? Will he "turn into a dad" once he has his own baby? | Do men who show zero interest in babies and children change when they have their own baby? Is it okay that he says he wants children but doesn't act enthusiastic? |
t3_1yi4k9 | relationships | My [20 M] friend is going to be forced into an arranged marriage | I know this isn't about me but I need help as to how to approach my friend and be as respectful to him while also making sure that he's doing the right thing.
I live in the UK and one of my best friends is half Yemeni and half Irish. He hasn't ever been to Yemen but has just been told great stories by his dad.
It's his 21st birthday in a couple weeks and he has been bugging me for the past week to take him to Liverpool for a meeting to get a passport (it's quicker than sending off for one and usually done if needing a passport at short notice).
I asked what the big deal is and he just told me that he's going to go to Yemen with his dad for his birthday.
I've kind of hinted several times that I'm not wanting to be his taxi. He then told me in confidence that he wants me and our other two best friends to go with him.
I asked him why and he told me that the reason he's getting the passport is because he's having an arranged marriage when he arrives in Yemen.
Since we can't be at the wedding, he said it'd mean a lot to him if we all went with him to get his new passport.
He seems quite worried and concerned about the whole ordeal and it's clear that it's out of his control and he's being peer pressured into it.
In two hours time, I set off on the journey with him and our two other close friends to get his passport.
They both seem to think it's a fun adventure and aren't thinking long term about it. I can see that my friend is very unsure about this.
He's working terrible hours as a chef and barely makes enough money to fund himself never mind a wife or possible children that I imagine will soon be pushed upon him also. It has been gestured that he may end up living over in Yemen with the girls family instead.
What do you suggest I do or say to him when I see him?
I'm trying to be comforting but on the other hand it just feels like I'm comforting his dads choices and not his. | In a couple hours I am taking my friend to get a new passport so that he can be forced into an arranged marriage. What do I say or do to convince him otherwise or at least make sure he knows what's involved. |
t3_2hqj3p | relationships | I [17F] don't know what to do about a guy that asked me out [19M] (a bit more complicated than it sounds) | I met this guy about a month ago and he seemed like a decent guy. I later found out he's running a bit of a drug operation. By that I mean he's the one dealing to the dealers. Which I seriously don't want to get involved in. I smoke weed sometimes but it's a social thing more than anything. I'm not about to start dating a dealer no matter how nice he seems.
He asked me out the day we met (before I knew about the drugs) and I said yes. He messaged me later that week asking when I could go out. I ended up never responding to his messages (I tend to avoid things I don't want to deal with).
Now present day my friend who introduced me told him I lost my phone and didn't get a new one until now. Which he bought. Now he's texting me again asking if I still want to go out. I don't. I'm really uncomfortable with the whole dealing thing.
How do I tell him I don't want to go out? I don't want to be a bitch since he's friends with a couple of my friends (who know but don't care) and we'll likely see each other again. In my past relationships I've always reciprocated so I've never rejected anyone before. | Drug dealer asked me out, he's friends with some of my friends, how do I say no in a way that makes future contact as not-awkward as possible? |
t3_nlaxr | AskReddit | Sister deserves to get in to vet school but her application to the only one in the country was rejected. What else to do to get them to reconsider her application? | It's been my sister's dream to be a vet since she could talk. She applied for the only university that offers veterinary science for next year and, after being told she would be contacted "in due course", she eventually had to contact them only to find out that her application had been rejected.
She has a brilliant CV, including work experience, community service (volunteering as a paramedic and at various animal shelters and the local vet), leadership roles and experience as well as finishing high school with excellent marks in Biology, Mathematics, English and doing well in all her other subjects. She has also completed a year of university (she chose Chemistry and 2 foreign languages as her courses).
The reason she was given for her rejection was "high volume of applications received and strong competition".
She is absolutely devastated and I am sure there is *something* she can do to get in, as I know from personal experience that even if one is told that all spaces are filled, it does not necessarily mean it's true.
Reddit, please advise me what further steps my sister can take to get into vet school. | My sister is smart, driven and passionate about helping animals. Her application to study veterinary science was rejected. What further steps can she take to appeal for reconsideration? |
t3_2wacqn | tifu | TIFU by getting on the front page of reddit. | I don't know how it happened, it was unexpected for me. According to commenters of said post it was because I was "a female who was not unattractive", but I only posted the pic because I am an " attention whore".. apart from the negativity, conversations were had about how braces changed their life, how glad they were to have had them/got them off, and people cheering me on, which felt great! Thank you, I'm not used to that. The negative comments could be ignored to some extent, but I have to stand up for myself! If that makes me a cunt, so be it. Anywho thanks for hacking me? Deleting my account? Bravo, seriously don't even know how I made someone so upset they went out of their way to delete me from reddit! But yes, mmkaybye. | posted before and after pics, got told I was cunt-woman with egotistical tendencies; I probably called them an asshole, someone hacked and deleted me. |
t3_4adywe | relationships | Me [33 F] with my Friend [30 F] 4 years, starting to act totally different with me - small town, small group of friends. How to handle rejection? | I've counted myself lucky to have gotten in with some pretty awesome people in this small town I live in, and we all have a mutual hobby that allows us to spend lots of time and do fun/creative things together. There's 3-4 of us that have been bosom buddies, ranging from 4 to 6 years, but the only issue is with one of the girls (Sid).
My life kind of changed recently, in that I got engaged, haven't been doing the mutual hobby as much, started a more stressful job - but I've still done my darnedest to be around whenever Sid needed.
A few months ago I noticed small things, like she wouldn't answer messages unless she needed/wanted something, and when she did answer back super late, there was always an excuse to go along with her late reply (they were never good excuses).
I noticed that the small group still has hangouts together, and this is now really the only time she seems into our friendship at all. But even then, if I offer up anything to the conversation, I've started to notice her throwing shade. Like I add something to the convo too late, or something off-topic, and I can see her facial expression change from interested to annoyed/rolled eyes...
I've brought it up a couple of times one-on-one, and every time she denies any of this, and comes up with... more excuses. Still, the behaviour continues and I feel like I'm going crazy.
I don't want to bring it up with her again, because I feel like at this point I'm just being clingy and annoying - so I'm wondering how best to deal with, and be okay with, her change in treatment of me? How do I not take it personally in the times we aren't hanging out, so I can be normal with her when we all hang out as a group?
Any help/pointers/advice would be welcome | Friend is slowly ghosting me 1-on-1, but acts normal in our small group of friends. How do I not care as much? |
t3_3sc22x | relationships | Me [44 M] with my brother [47 M] and sister in law [44 F], go to Thanksgiving or not | My sister in law is a prescription drug addict and alcoholic. When we visit with her and my brother, she is often LOADED...slurring, falling asleep, passing out on our lawn, sitting by herself crying. My brother acts like nothing is wrong. This has been going on for 20 years. Past attempts to talk to my brother and his wife about the problem have been met with anger and denial. They're still not talking to my mom 2 years after she said something. My wife hates seeing them as does my daughter.
We been invited to go to their house for Thanksgiving. I *really* don't want to go, but the family obligation is hard to ignore. So, do we go? If not, do we make up an excuse or do we tell the truth - that we just can't put up with their mess? Thanks in advance! | Sister in law is a drug addict and alcoholic. Don't know whether to go to Thanksgiving knowing what a train wreck she is. |
t3_1lmpze | relationships | I[18F] have a giant crush on my roommates best friend [20M] | I have lived in my current room for about 1.5 months. My roommates and I met through craigslist and we are all pretty good friends now. We do a ton of activities together, and I have grown close with a few of their friends. One friend in particular, my roommates best friend.
He comes over to the house almost everyday, we are friendly with each other and send snapchats but never hangout just one on one. Even though I havent known him too long its safe to say I am pretty smitten with him... We are all in college (im second year he is third) and live in a town were hookups and parties are big. I however do not hookup with people and rarely party.
I'm pretty shy and have been working on my confidence around him. My issue is I am not sure if I should approach him with my romantic intent. I dont want to make it awkward for him to come over here since he does all the time. And if I should approach him how would I do it in a manner where he knows I am looking for something more than just a hookup. | I like one of my roommates best friends: should I peruse this? If yes how should I go about telling him my feelings. |
t3_y5m2h | cats | Have you successfully toilet-trained your cat(s)? We could use some help. | My girlfriend and I have two kittens (brothers) and they're about 4 months old. When we got them, they were perfectly litter trained and had not once had a problem. We decided that we would try to toilet train them and bought the CitiKitty training kit and some flushable wheat litter.
I wanted to make the transition as smooth as possible, so before installing the kit, we moved the litter box on top of the toilet to get them used to going up there. After about 3 days, they knocked the litter box off and we decided to just jump right into the CitiKitty, so we switched litters and opened the toilet seat. Although timid for the first day (understandably so - a new litter box AND new litter), they both started using it, and continued for about a week or so.
After removing the small center ring (about the size of two quarters, everything still seemed to be going smoothly, but then a few days later, one of the brothers stopped using the new box and started peeing on the floor, in the shower, or in the sink (at least he's confined his excrement to the bathroom). I monitored his pee - no blood. We bought some UTI test strips, both of which were negative for the various nitrites and other indicators of urinary troubles. I replace their water with filtered water twice per day, and he seems to drink enough of it. To be on the safe side, I've increased the wet food/dry food ratio without success.
At this point, I think the issue is just stress. Every time he goes into the bathroom, he meows, and that is a quick warning that he's about to go. When we place him on the toilet, he goes on it and doesn't complain. We feed him treats and give him lots of positive encouragement when he does go where we want him to - and we make it a point to really clean away the scent when he goes where he shouldn't. We also keep the litter cleaned as well as possible and change it out once or twice per week. | of our two twin kittens, one uses the toilet like an expert and the other is giving us hell. *(Is this what parents go through when potty-training children? It's infuriating.)* |
t3_4igvsa | relationship_advice | [21/m] Girl at work [21/f] is interested in me, I have never had a relationship. | Hello. I work at a grocery store pushing carts. There is a cashier who seems to like me. She's always saying "you're cute" and at one point she was talking about dinosaur chicken nuggets and said "you can come to my house and we can play dinosaurs." She's is always teasing me.
She's weird and playful, and I like that. So I thought about giving her my number.
But my problem is that I've never had a relationship before, and My life for the past 7 years has been pretty awful. My parents died, I was homeless, I saw a lot of bad things happen to people. I don't know what it is like to have a family, or friends really. I wouldn't know how to make a relationship work, and I don't know if I really want one. I spend most of my time alone. That was my childhood, and teen years, and so far my adulthood.
When I go to work, I am mostly known as the quiet angry looking guy. I have terrible social anxiety, and it's hard for me to talk to people. So she thinks I'm not interested, and I kind of think she's mad about it.
I guess I'm posting here to get some help working out my problems. Thank you for any advice. | A girl at work likes me, but I've never had a relationship, on top of the fact that everyone I love is dead and my childhood was neglect |
t3_2rvcxe | relationships | I'm (35F) about to breakup with BF (40M) of 14 months because he is all about himself and seems to forget I have needs too. | All through our relationship, he has needed me for lots of different things. In fact, that is how we got together in the first place (me emotionally supporting him after his dog was put down -- I work at the vet's).
By nature, I am a very caring person and I realize not everyone is the same. I have emotionally supported him through unemployment, his mother's hospitalization, his anxiety attacks, his broken arm, etcetera. There has been a whole heap of practical support thrown in there as well, like everything from cooking for him to taking him to visit his mom in the hospital 3 hours away a few times per week. But at the heart of the matter, no matter what I am always there for him and always checking in on him. I am an emotional rock for him.
I don't need help in much. I've literally never asked him for any type of practical support because I simply don't need it. However, I have hit a rough patch in my life. My grandfather just passed away, I was forced to take a different job shift that I hate and I'm experiencing some depression.
To my dismay, he is totally unsupportive. He acts like he just doesn't care. He makes it all about him ALWAYS. And because I'm not so fun these days, he keeps contact to a minimum (mostly to bitch at me for not being able to do things for him like I usually do). I am a bit aghast at this and it makes me feel so alone. I've tried to talk to him but he seems dismissive sometimes and perplexed others. If I reach out to him because I'm upset/scared/worried, the most I'll get is *sorry, that is too bad*. Then crickets. He also doesn't bother to check on me later to see if I'm feeling better. Usually the next contact I get is him asking me to do this or that for him.
I feel completely used (and used up at this point). It might be the depression that I feel but I'm thinking of cutting contact with him. | BF can't be bothered emotionally supporting me when I need it even though he expects non-stop emotional support from me. |
t3_37i909 | relationships | Am I wrong for going through fiancés pictures? | I [28 F] want to know if I'm overreacting about my fiancés [27 F] reaction to me going through her pics. We have been together for 3 1/2 years. So I would like to get you guy's opinion on if I'm wrong for feeling this way. Yesterday I was trying to upload pics from my fiancés phone to her computer for her and while waiting for them to upload I started going through her pics on the laptop. She was in the kitchen and came over and I was still going through them, I wasn't trying to hide the fact that I was going through them. She seen me going through them and became upset saying why are you going through my pics I don't like you going through my stuff etc. She said that we have almost everything together and her pictures on her comp and her phone are like her only personal things she has a way from me. She feels like I'm invading her privacy. I feel like they're just pictures! Idc if she goes through my laptop pics. I really got bothered by her reaction because it just seems like a suspicious reaction to me. I do trust her and don't think any thing is going on the laptop is home everyday with me (we live together) I just never bother to look in it I wouldn't care if she looked through mine I know everyone is different though. Am I wrong or making a big deal out of this? Thanks in advance for your input! | I was on fiancés laptop uploading pics from cell phone to laptop and I started looking at pics on laptop and fiancé is upset saying I invaded privacy. Am I wrong? |
t3_2vfst7 | relationship_advice | I [18/F] don't know whether I should be in a relationship with my boyfriend [18/M] | So let's start with how I met him. It was my freshman year and my German teacher puts me in a group with my now boyfriend (let's call him John). I developed a crush on him, but after the project was over we stopped talking... Until last year.
I was hanging out with my ex and a couple of friends when they say their friend was coming by with his car and we were going to ride around with him. I get into the car, look up, and there's John sitting in the drivers seat. We hung out some, until summer we lost touch.
Go to New Years my friend (let call him Bob) invites me to a party. Lo and behold him and John are step brothers. After drinking quite a bit, John starts telling me how I shouldn't be with my bf I should be with him instead, stuff along those lines.
John and I started talking about being together after the party, soon enough we were a couple.
Since then, he has told me how scared he is that he's going to cheat on me. I had trust issues before he told me this, now I feel paranoid constantly. I'm afraid to get any closer to him because of it. Especially with the fact that I'm still in high school and he's in college, I'm always thinking he's doing something. I know it's not healthy. But I have real feelings for a guy in a long time.. I don't know what to do...
Sorry for it being so long. | Boyfriend I have strong feelings for says he thinks he's going to cheat on me, I don't know whether I should stay or leave. |
t3_15l88g | relationships | My friend's boyfriend(M18) is recruiting me to help plan a surprise for my friend/his boyfriend(M20) but their relationship is going downhill... | So my best friend(we'll call him Robert; 20) and his boyfriend(call him Michael; 18) have been dating for about 3 or 4 months now and straight from the beginning they seem to have been moving at a fast pace, like they were quick to start saying they love each other and that they want to spend the rest of their lives together and move in together when Michael graduates from high school in the spring.
Robert sort of realized how impractical it is for them to move in together so soon, and for the fact that his just quit his job and hasn't found a new one yet and Michael doesn't have one either, so Robert postponed their plans but Michael didn't take it too well and thought that Robert was being selfish about it. This argument caused a shit ton of hostility between the two of them, and now they fight at least once a week, through text, mind you, because Michael lives about an hour away and texting is their main source of communication. Michael sends pages of angry ranting to Robert when they're fighting and Robert has just gotten to the point where he hates fighting back with any reasoning (because Michael never tries to see his side) so he's resorted to short, sarcastic, and sometimes hurtful remarks just to fuck with Michael. From my perspective, they both have become so apathetic to each other's feelings but neither wants to reason with each other or even break up.
So now Michael has recently texted me to ask help him plan a surprise party for Robert. Robert has talked about his birthday (which was 6 months ago and before they started dating) not being as great because he had to buy all the alcohol for his party and "no one" got him a gift (except for me). So Michael wants to plan a make up birthday party that also will make up for their fighting. I'm all fine for parties and everything but Michael also wants us to put together money to buy a certificate for a tattoo Robert has been wanting to get. I don't know if I should try to discuss with one of them about how this isn't a good idea or just let Michael surprise Robert to try to make up for a relationship that probably isn't going anywhere. | My friend's boyfriend is planning a late surprise birthday party for my friend but their relationship is going to shit and i'm being recruited to help. |
t3_2wigig | Advice | I'm moving in an apartment. The roommate already living there is a female. I'm male. My mom assumes the roommate is male. I'm afraid of my mom, please help lol | I think race is important here. I'm Asian. We have strict parents. Well at least moms. My dad doesn't care. I always referred to my roommate as "they" even when my mom asks about her using "he". I'm afraid to correct her because of what her reaction will be. She's gonna think this girl is a girlfriend I've been hiding from her. The girl is actually some random person from Craig's list. I don't know. I'm just scared. My mom is always like "don't fall in love until you graduate [college]". If I tell her I'm gonna hang out with some friends, she asks if they're girls in the group. | My mom assumes my roommate is a guy. Roommate is actually a girl. I fear the wrath of my mom. |
t3_zt46g | relationships | Me (F21) is it possible I'm drifting away from him (23 M)? | Ok so I (21F) and the boyfriend (23 M) have been dating for two years, and living with his dad since my mom threw me out when I was unemployed and looking for a job. We never argue and rarely disagree on anything. I am however starting to wonder if we are started to drift. I guess I have a lower sex drive than he does and I know that can effect the relationship. I also know I'm no good at talking to him or anybody really for more than a few minutes at a time (this is another post entirely). So I guess what I'm asking is: How do I talk to him because I do want this to work. | I have a low sex drive, and feel like I'm becoming distant with SO, how can I talk with him without getting stressed or stressing him out. |
t3_kh9dg | AskReddit | Any advice would be great. | A year ago, I built a basic website for an apartment complex that someone I was knew was managing. It wasn't much but I was looking for a few extra dollars and they happened to be looking for a website. At the time of registering the domain, the only viable option was (nameofapartments)apts.com, someone had registered (nameofapartments)apartments.com some time prior but I figured since there are a large amount of apartments in each city there was bound to be a complex with the same name. The apartment owner and I agreed upon this name and we considered the issue resolved.
I maintain possession of the website and the original coding and all of that jazz but sent them a document with all of the log in information for FTP and the control panel.
Today I receive a Cease and Desist letter in the mail from a local lawyer representing the apartment OWNER (not the manager who is now the former manager and I haven't had contact with in a few months due to a separate incident) stating I am violating the Anti-Cybersquatting Consumer Protection Act. I, being slightly confused, read on to find that whoever registered (nameofapartments)apartments.com copied my coding but changed the information on the home page to be bashing the apartments I made the website for.
They are assuming that I am the owner of (nameofapartments)apartments.com and am doing this for some strange reason even though I have no qualms with the property or its owner and are demanding that I return any financial payment and shut down the faux website immediately or they will pursue "...all legal remedies available to it, including pursuit of immediate civil action for damages and injunctive relief..."
Should I consult with a lawyer before I plead my innocence to the lawyer representing the apartments or just go to them with whatever proof (whois information is all I've got right now)? | Apartment complex sent me a cease and desist, thinks I created a website posing as them but putting up bad information. Should I lawyer up or talk to the lawyer representing the apartments?* |
t3_1d5u7f | personalfinance | I don't understand why my credit score isn't improving. | I got a late start in life when it comes to credit.
Close to a year ago (last may), I realized I needed to actually DO SOMETHING in order to have good credit. So I got accepted for a credit card through my bank, started using it and paying it off in full each month. A couple of months later, I also signed up for Chase Freedom card, and was accepted. I tried to get an AMEX Blue Cash card, but was denied for that one.
Also, it turns out that I did sign up for a credit card many years ago, but I never used it, and that account closed eventually. But I'm thinking that card had helped my score some, because other than that, I previously had nothing in my credit history.
I have been checking my credit score on creditkarma since I got the card last may, and well, nothing has really changed since then.
I could see that right at the start, when I applied for the card, my score was 722. And since then, it has been going down and back up by a few points here and there. As of today, It is sitting at 715.
I also checked credit.com today, and it says my score is 714.
This is obviously very frustrating, and I don't expect to suddenly have a perfect credit score overnight, but I would have assumed after making so many on time payments every month for this long, it would have certainly counted for SOMETHING. | I have been using 2 credit cards and paying them off for nearly a year, but my score hasn't improved at all. What gives? |
t3_y9d5e | relationships | [FINAL UPDATE] I [25M] am visiting a friend [25F] for the week and don't know when to make the move. I'm respectfully impatient! | [First Post](
[Second Post](
**SUCCESS!!!**
I finally maned up and kissed the girl! And it was great! She was cooking us dinner after we worked all day, walked up behind her, made sure she had nothing in her hands that would spill/burn, grabbed her arm, and before she could say a word our lips were together. The kiss lasted for about 10 seconds before I pulled away. She blinked several times, obviously stunned, before she asked "what was that for".
While she was finishing cooking, I went into this 10min speech of everything: how I felt, how absolutely stunning she is, how amazing her personality is. She just listened and blushed, sometimes downplaying herself to which I'd reiterate my point. After we finished dinner and I rinsed the dishes, we sat down for some TV and a movie, when she snuggled in and turned me towards her and kissed me back! Not long, but just a return of the favor, which let me know she was OK with the fact that I had kissed her.
Sadly, we both fell asleep on the couch watching the movie, so there was no makeout sesh, nor sexytime (which I believe it's that time of the month), which is OK. We've still got our date tonight, and I'm sure there will be more time while out and once we return to continue to get intimate. | Thanks everyone for the encouragement, the kiss was amazing and shouldn't hamper our relationship, whether we remain just friends after I leave or there's more to us.. |
t3_1is4j1 | relationships | [f]28 married to [m]29 for almost three years. Need advise to improve/save marriage. | Basically I feel like he is constantly pissed off. Whether it's me, his job, his limited friends and family he hates,etc.
I try and keep the house clean because he feels better when the house is clean. If I'm cleaning when he's relaxing he gets mad because he can't relax because he feels compelled to help. I want him to relax. I thought I was helping!? I've told him this. "Just relax. I'll clean". He works 50+ hours a week; I get it. Fucking relax!
We've been trying for a baby for over a year. I keep miscarrying. Many doc visits. I feel awful about it. He's been supportive but still nasty overall, even before baby issues.
He talks down to me a lot. I've spoken to him several times about it. Nothing's changed.
I'm miserable. I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. He thinking I'm high strung and too busy but I have plenty of down time during the day.
How can I make him relax/be happy/ be happy with ME again?! | Husband is constantly "overwhelmed" and feeling like our relationship and life is "work". Help to make him happy again! (And me!) |
t3_4yqlwq | relationships | Me [22F] with my dad [60 M] I just bought a house, he is over there constantly working on stuff and being a huge cockblock between me and my boyfriend. | Like the title says, I just bought a house. I am grateful for the time he has spent sanding the walls and prepping everything, as I don't even know how to hang a picture frame. He is also having money issues, and I have paid some of his bills while he is over at the house for much of the days. My boyfriend and I have opposite schedules and lately, every time we would have some time to "do it" my dad is just working on stuff. My boyfriend does not feel comfortable to just lock the door, and we would feel uncomfortable doing it when he is there anyway. We haven't had sex in what feels like forever, and I am about to go crazy. Finally today we blocked off some time, and what happens, right as it's all about to go down, my dad comes to the house. I feel like I am being rude right now, but I am really frustrated (sexually and otherwise). What should we do? How can I approach this subject without being like "Dad, we want to fuck. Gimme like 20 minutes and GTFO out of my house, but feel free to come back and continue to set up my dryer after". | I just bought a house, my dad is always over there working on stuff. My boyfriend and I want to bone, but cannot when my dad is always at the house. Frustrated. |
t3_2mu9io | relationships | I [23F] hooked up a few times with a guy [25], decided I wanted to come clean with his now-fiancée. Was this right? And could she not care he cheated? | Hi all. Gotta be vague on this one but I'll be as accurate as I can.
Met someone last year, decided on hooking up. Saw each other a few times with great passion but then he kept dropping contact with me, then attempting to apologize and make it up to me. He contacted me after quite some time and a month later I decided that I need to come clean with his s/o. I find an email address after some searching and emailed her. I did not receive a response.
A few things: is it my place to tell her? And should I attempt contact again through another means? Are there some women who just don't care at all?
Thanks in advance. | Hooked up with engaged man. Sent message to fiancee. Did she see it? Could she not care?* |
t3_15oseu | BreakUps | GF Cheated on me, having a hard time getting over her(x-post) | gf [23/F] cheated on me [22/M], dated for 3 years
we were both super busy and she was telling me that I didnt woe her anymore. Specifically she said, buy her cute things or take her on cute dates. In my defense I was starting my senior year in engineering, heavily involved in my fraternity, working 25 hours a week. She was studying for the medical school entrance exam, school full time, working 25 hours a week and living with her super strick parents 30 min away(curfew, no sleep overs...) There just wasnt alot of time for us during that period and she didnt have the attention she needed from me.
We went through a rough patch and she would break up with me saying she needs time and then get back with me and would do it a couple times here and there. We were back together and she made out with a guy then a couple days later she calls me and says that she doesnt know what she wants right now. (thats all I got, no hey we need to break up in person) It was shitty how it was over the phone.
In that week she makes out with him 2 more times and they have sex. She then wants me back and leads me along for 2 weeks (I was clueless). I found out from her. She wasnt being completely truthful though and I felt like I had to be the interrogator. essentially she wouldnt tell me unless I asked her the specific question.
It was exhausting and I decided to just cut all contact with her. She begged and begged for me back. Was even being a bit manipulative. I miss her terribly and have been super depressed. I havent talked to her in over 2 months. My friends tell me she is a wreck. I dont know what to do. I just know im sad, I miss her but I am so insulted by what she did.
I went through feelings that it was my fault, that I should forgive her and get back together with her. I miss the good times we had. I am trying to just get over her but every day I cant believe we arent together anymore. | Gf cheated on me for 2 weeks with some dude, wanted me back and I couldnt do it. Super sad and dont know what to do. |
t3_2rkuui | relationships | [21F] Ultimatum: It's me or your friend. | This is my first post, guys. I'm feeling really confused, so any contribution would be appreciated.
Long story - My girlfriend [23F] and I [21F] have known each other for about 10/11 years now. We were friends as kids then dated for 3 years beginning my junior year/her senior year of high school. I moved away to a different state and long distance ended up not working out. We didn't talk much after our break up, because we needed space.
Fast forward a year and a half and we see each other again and click. We've been back together now for only a few months.
Before I moved away she met this guy at her college who liked her. It was obvious she was with me, but two separate occasions while we were together (one when I lived there and one when I moved away) he had told her he wanted to be with her. She had told me that each time she's stated that she only wants to be friends. I felt uncomfortable with him around.
In our year and a half apart they have become close friends. While we weren't talking she would drunk text me every few times, "AJ this keeps telling me he wants to be with me, but I only want to be with you." Or something along those lines.
So while we've been dating these past few months I have grown less and less comfortable with him around. All of December I let her know how I truly don't like him. I feel he's rude and hasn't respected our relationship from the beginning. She's told me to get over it, because he's her friend. On NYE, I gave her the ultimatum Its-either-him-or-me in my drunken stupor. Since then things have been strained. I feel like an awful person for wanting her to stop being friends with him, but at the same time I don't feel comfortable with him in our lives. | Uncomfortable with her guy friend in our life. Want him out. Ultimatums suck, what should I do? |
t3_2p25zi | relationships | I've (16m) been talking to this girl (15f) and we're both interested in each other, but we almost never talk in person. | Me and this girl, we'll call her Kate, met a few years ago through a friend, and we had a relationship for a short time then, but lost touch. Just recently we began talking again and found that we have mutual feelings for each other. The problem is that we never talk in person. Our schedules are completely different, except for one class; but we sit on complete opposite sides of the room and have no opportunities to talk during it. As soon as the class ends, her friends get to her before I can, and my friends do the same with me.
When I see Kate in the hall it's the same issue, her friends are always by her locker. I asked her if she wanted to hang out this weekend and she's all for it, but said she'd have to get past her dad. So now there's a strict parent in the equation. And to be honest I don't even know what we would do if we hung out. I can't go to her house because of the parent situation, and there's always people home at my place. We could walk around but where would we go? We could smoke but I don't think she's ever done that and I don't plan on taking the risk of asking her yet. I never overthink things with girls the way i'm doing with her, I don't know why i'm doing it.
Sorry if this post's wording is a disaster, i'm on mobile and i'm pretty tired at the moment. Some kind advice would be greatly appreciated! :) | A girl and I have began talking again, found out we still like each other, completely different schedules, never talk in person, not sure of what to do if we hang out, beta mode engaged. |
t3_23efen | relationships | Does anyone else feel like they are too loud inside of their own head? (23f) | I am unsure if this is the correct place to post this. I was thinking it could fall under the Personal Issues category?
Anyway, I have always felt like I am too loud inside of my head. By that I mean I feel like I am extremely hard on myself and overthink essentially everything. I am constantly thinking about things that are happening in my own life. Sometimes if I am around a group of people and we are chatting, I will drift off into my own thoughts without realizing it and drown everyone else out. My friends will catch my attention to bring me back to the conversation.
Before telling me something people will sometimes ask if I am listening before telling me. Sometimes I am just lost in my own head and don't hear / pay attention to things around me.
Am I being ridiculous because I'm 93% sure I am. Maybe I am just too hard on myself? I don't know! Just thought I would see what other people thought. | I feel like I am too loud in my head, I overthink everything and over analyze, and am hard on myself. Is this a normal thing? |
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