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t3_25c11c | relationships | [F17] How to deal with deep-rooted loneliness | So, I liked a boy a lot, but he lives far away. I got out of my first and most recent relationship over a year ago to a guy who broke my heart. Essentially, he took forever to get over, so when I started liking this new guy, I was terrified. This new boy, was literally everything I wanted, but now we barely talk, and I realize he is getting upset over other people and that's whatever, but on top of that, I have a family who's been screaming at me of how stupid I am and always body shaming and essentially I feel so awful. Because I feel like my family doesnt love me, i rely on that emotion through others and I'm subject to loneliness easily. I want to learn to love to be single but I have no idea how. | I started to really like someone new after an awful breakup, he turned out to have no feelings for me(despite everyone tells me he does), and I'm feeling lonely and worthless like my family tells me. |
t3_1ftwpr | tifu | TIFU and drove my cat to its premature death. | My cat dusty, is a indoor outdoor cat. For whatever reason, when you try to pet him while hes relaxing outside he'll run way from you into bushes or something. I tried to pet him and he ran into a little strip of trees that separate the (busy) road from our house. I thought little of it because I assumed he had enough sense to stay away from the cars.
I went away to the skate park for some fun. When I got home some guy came over to cut up a giant tree that had fallen on our lawn. He went to the tree and came back a few minutes later and asked us if we *had* a cat. Fuck. Dusty's leg was ripped off and he bled out behind the tree a few feet from our front door. I guess he got hit by a car. I wish I hadn't tried to pet him, and I don't think I'll tell my family I tried to. He had 4 leisurely years on this earth. | Inadvertently chased cat into road where he lost a limb, made some poor guy tell my family that my cat was dead, and everyone in the house helped dig the grave. |
t3_30gxmt | relationships | I (20 m) asked out this girl (18 f). She said yes. Now she's ignoring me. | Hey everyone,
So, I asked out this girl I like 2 days ago. We happen to work together. She said yes. Which is great. I got her number to try to schedule our date. However when I texted her yesterday afternoon she just seemed to ignore it.
Anyways, I saw her at work tonight. When I got the chance I asked her one more time. "Hey, are you still down to go to that comedy club with me?". She said yes again. I told her the times we could go. She said she couldn't go on Friday, but on Saturday, maybe. I just said "okay, cool I'll text you later ". And let it be.
Bad news is, the work schedule (that's given to everybody) says that's she's working Saturday. I mean it's possible she requested the day off, but I'm not sure.
I feel like she's playing me for a fool. And maybe stand me up or just cancel last second. Any advice for a guy that doesn't go on many dates? | I asked this girl out on a date that I work with. She's being weird now. And I think she's just gonna cancel and play me for a fool. |
t3_1yeeyu | relationships | I'm [23 M] dating a wonderful guy [24 M] - Self-esteem issue. | I'm really not sure if this is the right place, maybe its more suited to somewhere like /r/depression.
I've been dating this guy for a few months now. He's amazing, I'm truly enamored with him. He's mature, driven, passionate... pretty much everything I'm not.
I never really thought about this sort of stuff before I met him.
Basically the problem is that he could have anyone he wanted, why me? I'm starting to feel like I have to start to measure up almost.
At the same time though I don't want to come across as the wet-blanket, stereotypical low self esteem guy. But what can I do?
Sorry if this all sounds confusing, I'm having a hard time making sense of it myself. | Not understanding why amazing guy would ever even look at me twice is bothering me, but I can't really ask because I don't want to sound like some pathetic weirdo. |
t3_1c6rpj | AskReddit | Do I go with love or a really great ass? | Ever since I hit puberty all I've wanted is a girl with a really amazing backside. Big, round, and shapely.
I've never acquired it. All of my relationships have been with attractive girls that have their own very special qualities and physical features but the white (or black or latino) whale has alluded me.
I've never been one to pick up a girl at a bar and I always felt skeezy "going after" a girl based on a single physical attribute so I've let relationships come naturally.
Now, I am dating a girl who I love. I mean I really love her. Think about her when she's not around, smile ear to ear when I'm with her, want nothing more than to make her happy....kind of love.
Recently I've thought about proposing (probably not super soon but in the not unforeseeable future) and asking her to be my one and only.
But she has a cute little butt. Not the butt of my teenage desires...and sometimes, sometimes it bothers me. Our sex life is great and my needs are fully met...except for this one thing she simply can't do (or grow...I suppose).
I've thought that if I did break it off with her (something that does not make me happy). What would I even do? I suppose I could try to search out a girl that has the physique I yearn for but I would feel weird. I've only really been with girls that I have some emotional connection with.
My question is: Is this a minor thing or will it haunt me?
Have any other guys/girls had a similar sexual obsession that went unfulfilled how did you deal with it?
If I fulfilled this fantasy (of being with a big round booty girl) will I just pick another?
Please send me your thoughts and/or questions.
Thanks | I've always wanted girl with big butt, in love with girl with small butt. Should I pursue fetish or heart? |
t3_2lbjfy | relationships | I [23 M] with ex GF [27 F] can stop trying to get back together with her after she's given me multiple STDs. | I dated this girl for like six months we were totally infatuated with no boundaries and real unhealthy. I found out she was cheating on me when she gave me two STDs (she was checked when she went on birth control at the beginning of the relationship). Initially she wanted to get back together and it was a miracle we didn't. Now about 2 months later I fucked up and texted her a couple times and within a couple weeks we're snapchat friends and I'm trying to convince her to get back together with me! WTF any advice on how to not do this. I can't stop thinking about having sex with her. I honestly don't want to be with her she is the most terrible person. Seriously she is just all lies but my brain won't stop thinking about her! Any advice on staying away from exes when you're slightly obsessed. | Honestly don't want to get back with ex gf but I can't stop (slightly obsessed with) trying to get back with my cheating ex gf. |
t3_q4l6i | AskReddit | Previous car insurance company threatening to sign me up if i dont provide proof of current insurance. | Ok, a bit of background here. I am 20 year old male, and still live with my parents. I HAVE current car insurance under State Farm. The company that i was insured with before was the same company my parents had. The reason we had them was because my dad was friends with one of the salesmen. About 6 months ago, i started paying for my own insurance. I called the company that we use, and talked to the guy about opening a new account. He quoted me a price (the same price i was already paying) of about $150. Not sure of the exact number. I said that was too high, and would look elsewhere. He assured me that it was the lowest i would find anywhere. I thanked him for his time and told him i would look around. After getting quotes from Progressive, State farm and a few other places, i decided to go with state farm. They offered me auto, renters, and life insurance (Yeah he suckered me into that one..) for around $115 a month. That is waaaaay more coverage than the previous company for much less :)
Fast forward 6 months, and my dad tells me his friend dosent believe i have insurance. This is despite my dad *assuring his friend of my insurance*. He said they want proof of my insurance or they are going to sign me up to a new plan. Their reasoning was that i was driving my parents cars illegally with no insurance. How that is any of their business, i dont know. I told my dad to tell his "friend" where to shove it. But i eventually caved and let him fax over my proof of insurance.
Now, Reddit, is this legal? Why do they have this right? Thanks for any help | Previous insurance company tries to say that i am driving my parents cars illegally without insurance. They threaten to sign me up if i dont provide proof of insurance. |
t3_3uexf5 | relationships | I [25/F] have grown concerned about [24/M] boyfriend's obsession with zombies | Hey reddit, I apologise if this seems like a silly concern but it has really made me doubt the longetivity of this relationship.
My SO (Tom) has an obsession with The Walking Dead, and I mean religiously watches the show and reads the comic. Nothing wrong with being a hardcore fan of something, I'm the same with shows I like and TWD is a fantastic show. He sometimes comments during the show about how he would love to be part of that world, kill some zombies etc etc. Never thought too much into it because it's just show talk.
We recently decided to create bucket lists and then show them to each other, and hopefully complete some of the goals together. His goals for the most part were normal, travelling etc. However thrown in there was 'Live through the zombie apocalypse'.. I questioned him on the seriousness of this and he assured me he wasn't joking.
I can see the appeal in watching a fictional apocalypse but actually living through one is a different matter. It is an extremely unlikely situation which has me doubting his concept on reality. I made the argument of seeing loved ones die and he said 'it's every man for himself when it happens', not IF but WHEN. We got into a pretty heated argument, he took it as a personal attack on his interests and also insulted my own interests by the end of it.
To anyone that thinks he might be joking around, it's been a week (we live together) and we have not been talking apart from necessary interactions. We've been dating for 3 years also and I'd hate to break up over this, but I also don't want to marry someone who desires such a horrible thing. Would really appreciate feedback, am I wrong, how I should go forward etc | Boyfriend put weird zombie bucket list goal, isn't joking around, things haven't been the same for the past week. |
t3_hzl3c | dogs | Help with Marking Behavior | Hi Doggit,
Two weeks ago, I found this dog in a dog park and took him in, thinking I could find him a home. [Poor little dog!] I have taken him to the vet and gotten him updated on shots and now I'm looking for a good home. The vet says he is about 4 years old and healthy. Unfortunately, he's not neutered.
He seems to be housebroken, but when I leave him alone in the house, I always come home to find he's marked somewhere in the house. I don't believe it's a bladder control problem. It may be some separation anxiety. The first few days I had him, I tried to keep him on my enclosed porch, but he worked his way out. Since then, I've been letting him have the run of the house while I'm out. Everything is always fine except for the marking. How can I stop this behavior when I'm not around to police it? I'm hoping to get started on it while he's with me so he'll be better for his new owners. Would neutering stop it?
The only thing I can really think of is doggy day care, but that won't solve the problem for his new owners. Otherwise, he's very adoptable - super sweet, friendly, happy little guy. I want to improve his chances as much as I can.
Thanks for your help!
Other relevant info:
- I have another dog (male, neutered, awesome, [obligatory] that is allowed anywhere in the house.
- I have read about crate training, but everything says you have to ease the dog into the crate over a long period and I have to work every day. I don't want to increase his separation anxiety by botching crate training. | I have temporary custody of a dog that marks in the house when I leave him alone. How can I stop this? |
t3_2udg2r | weddingplanning | Help find a navy suit - cost and size a factor | Love following this subreddit (and I've seen some of your amazing searching skills) and now I have a question that I could really use some help on!
Trying to find a slim, non-shiny, navy, three piece suit for my FH (vest, pants, coat). He's going to purchase it, not rent.
Our favorite is the [Joseph Abbound Blue Slim Fit from Men's Wearhouse.](
Here is a picture of him in that suit: [Imgur](
Unfortunately, the suit, pants and vest are $660 (not to mention the shirt, tie, belt and shoes - we'll be getting those cheap elsewhere) **We're hoping to find a three piece suit for $350 or less.** Unless we're being super unrealistic.
So far we've tried Macy's, JC Penny, Nedrebo's, Men's Wearhouse, Express, Jos A. Bank. Either they had no 3 piece suits or they didn't have his size (not even to order it). I think we could try Macy's again though, they seemed to have some that were on back order. I've looked at some online sites and still wasn't finding much that was close. We have a tailor, not worried about having a store provide that.
The problem besides cost we're facing: his coat size is 46 long. (He's 6'5") Any brides or grooms have some advice? | Need a navy, non-shiny, slim fit, 3 piece suit under $350. Coat size 46 long. |
t3_2lih6f | relationships | [23 F] just found out boyfriend [26 M] is soliciting females on Craigslist. Got a Facebook message today letting me know. | I am kinda just looking for advice on how to proceed with this. I woke up to a message from a random girl on facebook saying that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. She linked craigslist ads with explicit photos of him and of me and him. The ad states that he is looking for a long-term affair with one girl because he is unsatisfied in our relationship.
I immediately called him and confronted him about it. I had to leave for work in an hour and he came home to discuss it. He states that he has never physically cheated on me, but I don't really know what to believe. He says that he posts these ads to "get off" from the pictures the women send him.
I have no idea what to do or how to feel. We've been together for over two years and live together. I'm currently working full time and in school full time and planning to start nursing school soon. Yes, we don't have sex all the time, but I didn't realize it was this bad.
This is emotionally cheating on me, right? Any advice y'all? I guess I'm supposed to break up with him and move on, right? | Boyfriend posting ads on craigslist to have a "long-term affair." I got a random facebook message today letting me know. |
t3_2a2pd8 | relationships | My ex (22?M) and I (22F) haven't spoken in several years and he's now contacting me again...I don't know how handle. | Maybe not as high intensity as some of the posts on here but I just wanted other peoples perspectives. Throw away since I'm 99.99% sure he knows my username.
I've been broken up with my ex for almost five years. We were high-school sweethearts, lost our virginity to each other, blah, blah, blah. We dated for two years and broke up once I moved to college. It wasn't the best of relationships and it definitely couldn't withstand the long distance plus I'll admit I wasn't exactly the most mentally stable at the time.
I hated the break-up and tried to talk to him again even if it was just to be friends. It never amounted to anything and I haven't spoken to him in about flour-ish years.
The other day he starts to follow me on Instagram. No big deal, sort of weird but we're Facebook friends (I have all his posts hidden) so maybe not that odd. Then he messages me asking how I've been, talking about his cat, how he's graduated, music he plays, how he's probably moving back to our home state (where I'm currently living) soon, his trip abroad. I've sent a few messages back and forth with him but honestly; I don't understand why he's talking to me now.
I don't really have anything to say and I'm not particularly interested in his life these days. I just don't know how to respond. His conversation seems rather…dead end. He doesn't seem to have a point, it's mostly idle conversation. I almost want to ask why on earth he suddenly wants to know about my life but I'm not that blunt.
To be honest, I wouldn't mind talking to him again it just feels weird and forced. I'm curious to know if anyone has had a similar situation or ideas as to why he's interested in my life after so long. Thanks! | – Ex who I've been broken up with for five years suddenly seems to want to get to know me again. I don't understand why. |
t3_457vkm | relationships | Me [24/F] and my fiance [25/M] are getting married in Oct. and he is driving me nuts | My fiance and I have been together for more than 2 years and we are getting married in October. As we work towards that crucial day, I'm getting more and more nervous at the idea of marrying him.
It is as if I've never really known him and that this particular event brings forward all his worst flaws. I've never realized how much of a control freak he was and how absurd and hysterical he can get: he is literally choosing every aspect of that wedding (color theme, flowers... he managed the invitations all by himself, the hotels for our guests as well), and got really mad at me couple days ago because he felt as if he was the one who cares about the wedding.
He is a really possessive person, and doesn't like it when I criticize him; although it is simply because I want to move things forward and enjoy this relationship the way I used to. He is completely resilient in making any effort and believes that I am the one who should comply with the way he wants/sees things - although he never stated so, he surely acts as such.
I'm really confused as to what I should do, and feel stuck in this relationship. This wedding is nothing like what I was envisioning my wedding to be. Right now, I'm feeling completely oppressed by him and cannot talk to him about this because he will get mad and I'm scared that he becomes violent.
A quick note that I believe is worth mentioning: we come from two different worlds. I come from a really modest family and I am a first gen French immigrant from Vietnam. He is the youngest child of his family, comes from a wealthy, educated and quite haughty family. His mother is dictatorial and a control freak as well. She's always been nice to me, although I have the feeling that everything this family does or says is hypocritical.
Based on what he has told me, his father has never really been the thoughtful kind of dad, and was more caring about his work than his kids. My fiance NEVER comforted me; and I can tell you that I've cried a lot because of him. | I'm marrying a control freak and a jerk. Are things between us getting bad because of the stress of the wedding, or is he eternally going to be that way? |
t3_3wcx5v | tifu | TIFU by handing a guy his "dick" | So as many others here, this happened 2yrs ago. I work for a Music School, and we organised a band event a while ago where a lot of people participated. The Top 5 would get Disks of their performances (video and mixed audio), and some other prizes (that aren't important to the story).
Here's the fuck up. Because at the time, this place was just started, I had been working really hard, very long erratic hours, functioning on very little sleep and rest. My brain was not what you would call 'normally functional', resulting in slight slurring in my speech, and some mumbling and bumbling. I walked up to this particular band, and in front of a whole bunch of really impressive people from the industry (crucial to my success as a musician), said "Congratulations GenericBandName! I am proud to present to you blah blah gifts, as well as a mixed & mastered copy of your performance on tape! Here's your Dick!".
Luckily, I burst out laughing as I said it, they realised it was a FU and laughed, the audience and panelists laughed. Good times. | I meant to say the word "Disk" and landed up saying "Dick" while awarding the winning band at a competition in front of Industry Bigwigs. |
t3_ouee4 | dating_advice | Got a crush on co-worker. Awful timing, should I ask her out now or later? | So I recently got a job at being a cleaner. There's this 19-year old girl (same as me) doing the same thing but we don't really meet all the time since we're at different buildings. However today I got a chance to be around her since she was teaching me her area.
We were together for 4 hours and I think it went great since we talked a lot (as much as we could while we worked our ass off) and now I can't stop thinking about her. But here comes the bad part. She's going abroad for at least over a week on a vacation and tomorrow will be the last time I will see her before she comes back in like two weeks.
I have never asked a girl out but I think I might have the confidence to do so now, if it weren't for the fact that she leaves in a couple of days. I know that it would be good to so now since now's probably the time she's most interested in me and if I ask her out after she comes back I know I'm risking that any attraction I've built will have simmered down. Any help would be appriciated! | I have a co-worker who I have a crush on, she's going on a vacation for two weeks, should I ask her out before she leaves or after she comes back? |
t3_zbnf0 | AskReddit | I am about to graduate from college with little to no experience outside of my life in suburbia. I don't have money, but I do have time. What is the best volunteering gig or job I can do so that the experience is the pay? | As I said, I'm about to graduate college from a decent American University. I'm well poised from experience to find a job in a corporation and begin my life as a "real person."
However, I have grown up in a American suburb and went to a university in an American city. I feel like going into a career like that would be cheating myself out of a lot of the best things life has to offer.
So, I am going to try to use what money I have (about $3000) to find these experiences. I have time to offer, and want to go volunteer or work wherever I can around the world. It would be fantastic if I would have somewhere to sleep and eat, but I can work around that if necessary. I've heard of some organizations like Teach for America but want to know if you have had any good experiences or suggestions? | I don't want to go directly into the corporate arena, and want to travel wherever I can volunteering or working around the world. |
t3_4eorca | relationships | Living with girlfriend and not sure about the relationship anymore. | Hey guys, I've been lurking here for awhile and really needed to get something off my chest. My girlfriend (25) and I (24) have been together for almost 3 years (with one break-up). Less than a year ago, we had a rough breakup that was in no way malicious, but certainly left a scar on the relationship.
After a month of no contact, she called me out of the blue to see if I wanted to try things out again. I was unsure at first, but after thinking quite a bit about it I decided that our relationship deserved another chance. In the time we spent apart I had made a lot of decisions about my immediate future, one of those being a move very far away from home. I told her this, and she said that she had made similar plans to move to the same city.
We spent last summer together mending things and picking up where we left off. At the end of the summer, I moved with my close friend to a new city. Now somewhere in making plans for this move is where I know I made my mistake. I allowed her to talk me into us 3 all getting a place together. Financially it made sense to live with 3 people instead of 2, but I still felt somewhat internally apprehensive. Turns out I should have listened to my instincts.
The time is coming to discuss whether or not we're going to re-lease our place, and I just don't know how to broach this subject. If I tell her about the way I feel months before our lease is up, then we'll likely have to live out the rest of the lease in the worst imaginable scenario. If I don't give her enough advance, she'll be screwed out of roommates and I truly don't want that to happen.
This is a very kind and decent person, someone whom I can't understand why I am no longer in love with. It just burned out somewhere along the line, I think more so for me than her. But I know it's not right to continue things when I have negative emotions as strong as these. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. Anybody have any thoughts? | Living with girlfriend who I longer feel that I love, know that I shouldn't continue the relationship but don't know how to end things properly. |
t3_2to3ff | relationships | How do I (18F) know if I'm a lesbian and how do I tell my boyfriend (18M) that I may be? | I've been dating my boyfriend for a little under a year and we both care about each other deeply. I feel completely open with him, unlike any guy I have dated before. We've had the "future" talk and are planning on attending the same university this fall and do eventually hope to get married.
Finally addressing this (even though it is anonymous, over Reddit) is making me increasing anxious and nervous about how to deal.
I am that girl who always had a boyfriend in highschool. I never had a lot of close girl friends after about sophomore year.
The first guy I was ever with was really great and I had an active sex drive. After we broke up, it was hard for me to imagine being with him or with any other guy.
Im relatively popular in school but I find it a little difficult to relate to girls deeper than surface-level conversation, because I am scared of becoming attracted to them. I wish I would find sex with men completely satisfying but I am nervous I will never be able to.
So I've been sexually active for about two years, I've had sex with three guys (including current boyfriend). Sex now is better than it has been with any other guy, but still not completely fulfilling. I often find myself masturbating even after sex (to lesbian porn) because I do not feel satisfied. My boyfriend has expressed concern because he can tell I'm not as into it as he is, I'm never initiating the sex.
I began masturbating but often to the thought of women. The first time I had ever seen porn was at about age 12, and it was lesbian. Maybe this explains my attraction, because the first time I witnessed any sexual activity it was between women?
I have never had the urge to approach a woman sexually and I have never been approached. I'm not sure if this is purely sexual fantasy or if I'm actually a lesbian.
I'm sorry if this belongs in r/LGBT or r/Sex but I really don't know what to do about confessing to my boyfriend. Please help! | I do not know if masturbating to lesbian porn qualifies me as a lesbian or if/how I should tell my boyfriend. |
t3_24l8z3 | askwomenadvice | Ladies, how should I interpret car flirting? | Ladies of Reddit, I've got a question concerning car flirting and it's meaning.
So today on the way to dinner to celebrate my parent's anniversary, I was a "victim" (haha) of car flirting. I went to pass a car (me right lane, them left) and casually glance over as I'm passing as I always do (certified people watcher). I only got a split second glance as the left lane was somewhat backed up, but I could tell there were cute college-aged girls inside.
A few seconds later, my lane is slowing down and I can see them coming up beside me in my side mirror. I immediately pick up my phone and pretend I'm messing with it (I don't usually mess with my phone while driving, was just my social crutch) and then put it down and act like I have no idea they're beside me.
But they remain beside me, and I catch out of the corner of my eye the front passenger waving her arms. At this point I look up as they're passing and notice the front passenger still waving and, as they pass, the rear passenger closest to me blows me a kiss. I give a wink, they merge and get off the exit and I continue on my way.
Now here's my conundrum: part of me believes they found me attractive, part of me believes they were straight up mocking me. I don't think I'm ugly, but I've always been somewhat shy and introverted. I've been struggling with weight issues the past few years, but I'm down nearly 40 pounds at this point.
This question is really just stemming from my social anxiety issues, and it's all I've thought about since dinner. I'm engaged, love my fiancé, and deep down don't care all that much what those girls thought. But my self confidence issues won't let me forget about the incident, so I thought I would come ask some real life females what the exchange may have meant. | Victim of car flirting and not sure if they genuinely found me cute or were mocking me. Uncertainty stems from lack of self confidence. General input from ladies appreciated! |
t3_45rwc9 | askwomenadvice | My [28 M] new relationship [26 F] told me she's overwhelmed with life, now the need to give her space | Hi all,
To start off, I have been dating a girl for a little over a month now. Things have been going well with her and we recently have been seeing each other 2-3 times a week. She lives a little ways away from me, but often she would come to where I lived to spend time with me. We also have been in constant contact with texting. We are not at the boyfriend/girlfriend level of a relationship as we are both still learning about each other. She's a bit of an introvert and asked that we take things slow since she does like me, but she wants to make sure she does and is fully ready for a relationship.
She is currently in an accelerated grad school program where she is very busy with homework and working as part of her schooling. When we first agreed to start dating she warned me that she was busy and there would be times where she would go out of contact, maybe even for a couple weeks. She told me that she didn't want my feelings to be hurt if she did lose contact for a bit.
Last night she warned me that things were very overwhelming for her and that she may lose contact. All I could think to tell her was that I understand and that I care for her and am here for her. I told her that I respect whatever space she needs right now. Since then I have not texted her or heard anything from her.
I really care about this girl and want things to work out with her. I know I need to respect her space. My question is, how do I go about giving her the space she needs without overly distancing myself and completely losing contact with her? I'd appreciate any advice on how to handle this. | Girl warned me early on she may lose contact for a bit and recently followed through with her warning. Now how to give her space and but not lose all contact and the relationship? |
t3_2nqe0v | tifu | TIFU by telling my teacher my password to my school computer account isn't working. | So this actually happened last Wednesday (11/26/14 or something), but I feel like posting it now. We had a school assignment to write some thing and the teacher told us we were going to write it in Google Docs. So she brings out this cart with the laptops as usual and we all grab one to start working. When we first got the laptops we had to set a password to our account, and my friend dared me to set my password as something stupid, so I put "fuckbitchesgetmoney". After many times of it not working, I called over the teacher to see if she could find any problems with it. She asked me my passcode, and without thinking, I blurted out "fuckbitchesgetmoney. no capitals or spaces". I got a detention :( | I couldn't get my password to work at school, which was "fuckbitchesgetmoney", and when the teacher came over to help, I blurted out my password to the class. |
t3_2yntrk | travel | My plans to Europe, open to suggestions | Hey /travel, I just wanted to start off by saying that I had a physics professor in my senior year of high school that absolutely hammered me (and subsequently all of his other students) into travelling the world, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that retained anything he said. He told us stories about how in his younger days, he would hitchhike throughout Europe with no money in his pocket, just going from city to city, basically bumming around and having a ball. In fact, he would always tell us that travelling with money is called a vacation, and travelling without money is an adventure. Combine his lectures with the fact that all high school seniors at my school had to read "Into The Wild," a book about a guy who burned all of his cash to travel around America on his own (and eventually die in Alaska), made me pretty excited to travel. Combine THAT with the fact that I grew up with fantasy stories like The Lord of the Rings, the Legend of Zelda, and A Song of Ice and Fire, and you've got yourself one guy who's itching to travel. Anyways, I've thought about it a lot, and here are my plans so far: get a plane ticket to Germany or France, obtain a visa that allows me to travel within any of the main Euro Countries, stock up on this food supplement called soylent which supposedly gives you all the nutrients you need for one day, and then just sort of... go. Be free. Roam wherever I want. See lakes, castles, cities, mountains, anything. I know for sure that I want to see the Matterhorn (and backpack through the rest of the Swiss Alps), and also see old abandoned castles, which I've heard Germany has plenty of. I don't plan on staying in youth hostels, I plan on just sleeping outside in a bivouac sac. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Places to go, things to bring, things to remember, advice, past experiences, criticisms, anything really! Please let me know if this sounds dumb or like a bad idea. Sorry this post is sort of long, I've only told a handful of people and its a pretty big thing that I'm really excited for. Thank you if you actually took the time to read my story and give a suggestion. | I wana go to Europe on my own (and on the cheap), and I want any suggestions or opinions you might have. |
t3_47nzfd | relationship_advice | My [24/m] friend [22/f] wanted me to tell her what I wanted and expected from her. | I've been talking with a girl who initially only wanted to be friends because stuff. For 2 months We've flirted through a text books worth, phone called for a day's worth, and been on 4 dates. Farthest we've been was making out. After valentine's day we talked on the phone and that was when she asked me what I wanted and expected from her. I had the shit test vibe when she told me on the phone that I just wanted her for her body. So in the general sense I just said I wanted the whole package/ know everything about her including her body. She didn't like that answer. I also told her not to project her exes on me (who she talks about every now and then but she didn't understand). I could've said date, but it seemed like a really weird thing to say because how do you go on 4 dates and not consider that already dating? I just went with "cuddle some more and talk about everything," which she said she was fine with just being FWB (but not "exclusive because that would mean we were dating." btw she's a virgin). That was a week after valentine's day and now today she asked me the same thing because she wants a straight answer. I honestly don't like saying cliche things like let's not cheat on one another. What do I say in this situation without making it awkward and making me look needy? | Friend is considering some sort of relationship with me probably but wants me to tell her my true intentions in a way she's satisfied with. |
t3_3bd71a | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Lab mate [19 F], Interested but don't know how to proceed. | I go to Michigan State and I'm an out of state student, about a 6 hour drive away from campus. Back during the school year i had a long distance GF back home, who I broke up with at the beginning of summer. I was always interested in this lab mate, we walked back from lab together sometimes, and talked pretty deeply about non-school related topics while working on the lab. She once invited me up to her room, (platonically, she's very innocent from what I know) but i respectfully declined because i had a GF at the time. Now that I'm single, I want to hit her up, but being so far away do I text her/facebook message her and just talk for the next two months of summer online, or wait until college resumes and text her asking for a date then? If the former, what would I even say, it all seems awkward in my head. | I'm 6 hours away from an interest of mine from college for the next 2 months. do I hit her up now online, or later asking for a date in person? |
t3_1a0g0t | relationships | [17M] Is this a good idea? [17F] | Background:
We've known each other for 3 months. We've gone out on plenty of dates. We are 'friends with benefits?', but not in the usual sense. We care about each other deeply and are exclusive. (we just aren't officially bf and gf)
She has done a lot of past dating. This is my first 'serioush-ish' relationship. She found out her name means "one who entangles with men', and I can tell it really bothers her because she realized that she has been physical with a lot of different guys in the past.
We make out/dry hump way more than we should. We are both waiting for marriage for sex, even though it doesnt sound like it...
Dilemma:
I feel like i need to show her that i like her, and the physical side is just an unnecessary bonus. I want her to know that she isn't a slut in any way, and that she just falls for guys a little too easily.
So here is my question! How do I stop being so physical with her? This would be very hard for me but i feel like our relationship is headed for tough times if we don't get stronger foundation than physical attraction.
Oh and for the record, our relationship was a lot more personal, even though i was having trouble opening up and being myself (still kind of am), during the first month and a half (before we started dry humping). I feel like i am no longer under the illusion that a big part of the reason i'm dating her is not because of physical attraction, and as a result, I am slowly giving up on having a healthy relationship and actually doing what is best for each other. | I feel like the relationship is headed for rough times. Is there any way i can tone down how physical we are without her noticing? I don't think i have the balls to actually tell her i want to stop screwing around. |
t3_3e64px | relationships | Me [20M] with my girlfriend[20F] 2.5 years, Girlfriend took a new job drastically cutting down our time together | I'm really close with my girlfirend and we usually see each other every day. She took a job as a medical attendant at a summer camp until the middle of August and stays there 6 days a week; I'm feeling lonely and a little jealous.
I've been away from my girlfriend for longish periods (around a month) when we've gone on separate vacations with our families, but this times a little different. She rarely has time to chat, and is engaged with a whole new group of friends who are counselors at the camp. I'm so used to chatting with her, the separation is making me lonely, and I hate it, but I can't help feeling a little jealous of her new friends.
I work early hours, 6:30-3:00, as a fabricator/welder with a good group of guys, but who are all older and have families to go home to, so I don't do much with coworkers. My good friends are all mostly unavailable because they all work afternoon shifts late into the evening, so I don't have many people to hang out with. My one day a week with my girl is amazing, but each week makes me miss her more with each parting.
I'm trying to fill my days up with exercise and any time with friends I can get, but it's not doing much. Hearing about how much fun my girlfriends having with her work makes me happy, but I can't help but feeling a little jealous at the same time.
So reddit, how can I make my next few weeks more entertaining? | girlfriend has a job for the summer and is away most of the week and im struggling to deal with being lonely/jealous. |
t3_1446zi | relationships | I (14f) was dating (15m) and we recently had a bad breakup, but we got back together, is that bad? | I (14f) have been dating (15m) for 5 months, and everything seemed perfect. He always complained to me about his mom yelling at him all the time, and how he was sad a lot. I comforted him, and I believe it made us closer. We talked every single day, said I love you, and he always told me how much he cared for me. Then, on our 5th months he calls me at night. I answer and he said," (My name), I'm breaking up with you, im so sorry." My first response was are you kidding me? Why? He said it was because we didn't hangout as much as he wanted (we didn't go to the same school, but we will next year) I was devastated. My friend (14f) comforted me, and it was really hard because she was going out with my ex's best friend. My ex's friend told her the real reason why my ex broke up with me. He had been flirting with another girl. I was crying for days, then he called me. He explained everything, and I didn't feel any better. He told me he messed up, and wanted another chance. I was lonely, and I really wasn't expecting the relationship to end. I still liked him. One month later, he comes to my house with flowers and asks me to be his girlfriend. He promised he regrets everything and that he will never be that stupid again. I said yes, and it's been one month already and we're happy, but now I have a little bit of trust issues. I know he isn't going to break up with me again, but I just feel like he is. Did I make the right choice? | Boyfriend (15m) broke up with me (14f) then we got back together, was it the right choice? |
t3_29opli | personalfinance | Which CC Should I Pay Off Next? | Hi PF!
I'm so close to paying off my first credit card as I'm working on eliminating my personal debt. I started with my card that has the highest interest rate and should have it cleaned off with my next paycheck. Now I need to know where to go next.
I currently have two cards that are 0% interest rate that I've been making minimum payments on while working on my cards that have charged interest. One card doesn't have interest that kicks in for another year but I have one that comes up in February. The balance is $1778 and when the interest rate kicks in it will be at a ridiculous 22.9% which is WAY higher than any interest rate than I have. The next card that I would have moved on to after paying off my first has an interest rate of 15.9%.
Which card should I pay off first? The balance on the 0% card is significantly smaller than the 15.9%, and I have worked out some math. I could have 0% card paid off in Feb by paying $112 each pay check and I would still have some money left over for the snowball method for the 15.9% card. Should I go that route to eliminate another debt while avoiding the future high interest? Or is there a way I can still take advantage of the free interest period while making good progress on my other cards?
Your insight and advice is appreciated! | Do I start paying more towards a 0% card that will have a higher interest rate than the card I would have started snowballing to next? |
t3_46mo8w | relationships | Girlfriend (F25) had one night stand with a guy years ago. Her friend is now dating him. I see him often. Feels weird. | Hey!
My girlfriend and I have been in a great relationship for about 10 months now.
During that period, one of her friends she lives with met a guy. They fell in love and are together now. It happens that a few years ago, my girlfriend slept with him once.
Since both girls live together, I bump into him every now and then.
It makes me feel weird to think that my girlfriend had sex with him. It makes me look at her like she's slutty. I slept with more people than her so I shouldn't be the one judging/talking. Yet again, it doesn't feel very nice.
What is the cause & What should I do? | I often bump into this guy that my girlfriend slept with years ago before I even knew her. It feels weird, what's the cause and what can I do? . |
t3_2ye3wl | Advice | I feel like I'm screwing up my life and really need some direction with school and work | I [23F] have been going to college on and off since I graduated HS in 2010. I spent a few years at community college, but didn't really give it my all. Then this past June, I decided I wanted to go to film school and my mom funneled a ton of money she doesn't have into Full Sail for me. I went through a really rough breakup shortly after moving, and have just been scrambling since.
I just took a break from my schooling because I feel so unhappy in Orlando and don't even think this is what I want from my life. I even just changed majors and then reversed. I feel like I have no idea what I really want, and keep making one bad snap decision after the other, which has been continually funded by my parents. I feel like I'm allowing my mom to help me out so much even though she can't afford to, and although I've grown since moving, I'm still not pulling my own weight. Now I want to move back home and don't know if I should continue Full Sail online or just quit and go back to community college and work full time.
One thing I do know is that people are what make me happy. I thought by coming here I'd feel passion for my potential career, but I learned that nothing matters to me if I'm not around people I care about. I just really need some guidance on what I should do. I want to get some kind of degree, but I'm 23 and feel like I should be done by now. | I'm scrambling about what to do with my schooling and work, and don't know if I should continue paying a ton of money for an online program I don't care about, or go back to comm. college. |
t3_2ewgbe | askwomenadvice | I like a girl that is in a relationship...what do I do? | First I would like to make the point that I do not in anyway intervene in this girl's relationship with her boyfriend. Over one semester in college I got to know her and as the semester went on I learned a lot about her and learned that she was in a relationship with a very controlling and abusive guy.
She still loves this guy and I will never intervene no matter how bad things are with her boyfriend. I developed a relationship with this girl that at one point she said she didn't have with her boyfriend, I listened to her problems and just was overall just a good friend. I had no intentions of being
I lost my mother last year and she lost her father and we had someone to talk to about it. At one point her boyfriend got so mad that she was hanging out with her cousin (a guy) and me from being in class together that he broke up with her and then pretended like he never said it. Almost 2 hours after she learned he was trying to play head games she pulled me aside and told me she didn't want me to feel like she didn't like me but she said she had no idea what to do. This was literally like 5 minutes before Christmas break....I ended up getting sick in the winter and I never saw her again once break was over but managed to finish my school work from home and pass all my classes.
A semester went by and I still hadn't seen her. Well its a new semester and for the first time in four months I saw her and met up with her cousin (same guy) and her for lunch in the college. I didn't really know what to say at first but at one point we got talking at the table and it just felt like it was the first semester all over again. However I only see her for 45 minutes a day compared to the 4 hours I used to have because of our class together. | I like a girl that is in a controlling and abusive relationship and I won't ever intervene but I can't ignore the kind of relationship I have with this girl. |
t3_4n6t3a | relationships | How to deal with my [29F] step-mother's [37F] strict food rules regarding my half brother [2M] | This is my first post in this subreddit and am using mobile so I hope I am posting correctly! Also throwaway because I'd prefer that my family not see this:) Not sure how to add flair from here either but here goes:
My step-mother [37f] and I [29f] get along well. What seems to be the issue is since she had my half-brother [2m] she has become quite strict with what he is allowed to eat. He does not have any allergies but cannot eat anything containing gluten, cow based dairy options (cheeses, yogurt, milk etc), sugar, certain foods must be organic (such as apples) others are allowed if not organic (bananas) the list goes on and on. It's hard to keep track. These same rules do not apply to herself or my father or any guests. I have been a guest at their house many times and the adults enjoy an average diet.
I do not live along the same strict guidelines. I eat an average diet and limit processed and junk foods as best I can. I will be living close to them next year and hope to spend more time with my half-brother but I struggle with his food limitations. If my half-brother had legitimate allergies I would not hesitate to follow dietary restrictions to the letter.
My question is how should I handle this situation? Do I cook separate meals at my home for the two of us if he visits? Should she expect that her son will be out in the world soon and exposed to these foods eventually? Do I ask her to prepare any and all meals he may need while visiting me?
I understand that every parent has a right to do what they wish for their child. In their home with their son they are free to do as they wish. My concern is how do we go about this in my home which has a completely different set of expectations?
Thank you for any and all advice! | My step-mom has crazy strict food rules for my half-brother (he does not have allergies). How do I deal with him coming to visit me if I do not follow the same restrictions? |
t3_2yq8m8 | relationships | I (24/M) have been with my gf (22/F) for 5 years. The spark has gone for me, not for her. Advice needed | Background: I've been with my gf for 5 years now. I'm fully accepted into her family, and her into mine. To the outside world we are a happy, in love, couple that are expected to get married etc etc.
I've been with her since i was in my first year of university, and she was in her last year of school. Over the entire time we have had to be long distance relationship, at least 2 hour train journey. This would have to continue for another 1.5 years till she finishes her degree. We try to see each other every other weekend.
Bad stuff: I feel like the spark has gone in our relationship. I have tried to reignite it many times but each time I just can't get it there. I've felt this way for a few months now. She doesn't know. I feel like we are just going through the motions without any new excitement, however, she is still very in love with me. I feel that we settled too early and didn't know what kind of people we would become, or what we wanted in a relationship. I still don't know what I want, but I don't think it is currently here.
The bad thing is I can't really see myself with anyone else. I often think about other women and going on dates, but I'm unsure I can really do it. I think this is just a byproduct of going out for so long though, and if we were to break up, then I wouldn't find it so alien.
My current plan is to bring this up next time im with her, and tell her how i feel. I want to suggest we go on a break for a while to see if I do want something different, and if I do get that spark elsewhere. What do you think about this plan? Should I wait till next time I see her (2 weeks time) or go down this weekend?
If you were in this situation, how would you handle it? This is my first long relationship, and I'm not sure of the next steps | I've been with my gf for 5 years and I've lost that loving feeling. Do we break up? How do I tell her? |
t3_2h0lkf | relationships | Me [24 F] with my SO [24 M] of 1 year - trying to be supportive but not sure what to do. | My SO (let's call him Peter) and I have been seeing each other for roughly a year. In the beginning we were just seeing one another casually and then we just ended up being nearly inseparable. At this point I decided that it was time to move the relationship forward and the idea was not well-reciprocated.
The reasoning was that Peter decided that a commitment to a relationship would not be a good thing as he was in a situation that was mentally stressful for him. We understood that a lot of environmental factors were causing his mental state to fall to a low. I understood and decided to continue being a supportive figure by his side. After a while, the conversation would arise again and after a lot of yelling, tears, conversation and understanding with one another we decided on a commitment. I have a troubled past with relationships so it was difficult for me to feel secure when Peter would tell me that he cared about me but I felt like a placeholder - I really didn't know whether he wanted me to leave or stay. That has since been resolved, however. The chaos in his life though, has continued on.
My concern is that despite my own insecurities, I've been trying to stick by his side during a tumultuous time where finances, family troubles and living situations are affecting his mental health. When he breaks down, he asks me to leave or begins to let out his anger, frustration and sadness in unhealthy ways (slamming doors, breaking stuff, throwing stuff around.) A lot of time, he says things he later regrets. Although he's been getting help, I'm still afraid that he'll do something he'll later regret. I want to be supportive and help him and have told him healthy ways to let out his emotions but I'm not sure if there's more I can do. | SO has mental breakdowns where he takes his actions out in unhealthy ways. He is receiving help but how can I take in-the-moment action to support him? |
t3_1s8l1h | offmychest | I'm afraid of the coming Monday | About half an hour ago, my Mom just confronted the bullies that has been pestering me for weeks. Mom told me that she's gonna call the cops on them if they won't cut their shit out. (They've been saying "Someone's gonna die..." in a singing voice whenever i'm around. They don't actually say my name but i'm not an idiot.) However, the bullies didn't take it as I hoped they would. They talked back and Mom started shouting.
The thing is, I know this people are pretty violent and have heard that they beat guys up.
Monday is gonna come and I well eventually have to face them because we go to the same school and it's pretty small. | I'm afraid that i'm going to get beaten up on Monday because I told my parents about the shit the bullies do to me. |
t3_2iad8q | Parenting | Please help me with baby proofing a house for a 1 year old | Hi everyone! I'm hoping I can get some assistance here with baby proofing a new house.
Background story- I have two daughters, ages 3 and 1. We just moved from a ~600sq rundown 2 br/1ba cabin to a 2500sq 4br/2ba house with dining room, living room, office, etc. I'm not too worried about my 3yr old but the 1yr old is a different story. She is very adventurous, curious and puts absolutely everything in her mouth that she can. And she is walking too.
How do people typically baby proof a large home for a 1yr old? No stairs to worry about, thank goodness but I work two full time jobs from home and will be stuck on my computer most of the day which means she'll probably be in another room than me throughout most of the day(I doubt she's going to want to sit in the office and watch me work). With the old house it wasn't an issue because I worked in the living room and that was really the only place for her to hangout so I was always able to keep an eye on her.
So what should I do? There is a HUGE bonus/play room in this house. Maybe I can set up my computer in there and block off the entrance so we're both in the same room all day? Or should I work in my office and let her have the run of the house(after locking up all cabinets, wires, etc)?
I have a video baby monitor but i would need about 6 or 7 more to adequately cover the entire house(even with bathrooms, bedrooms etc blocked off).
My 3yr old goes to preschool fulltime so it'll just be me and the 1yr old during week days. That's another thing I'm worried about too- she has a lot of toys and other little things she sometimes leaves laying around that the 1yr old could choke on.
The more I think about this, the more anxious I get :/ please help me fellow parents! | My family moved from basically a tiny shack into a big hour and I'm freaking out about keeping my 1yr old safe. |
t3_2xva0l | relationships | I'm [19M] a generally unemotional person and that has led to my girlfriend feeling like she isn't being appreciated or loved, any advice? | I've been dating my current girlfriend since late last year, and before that and still now, I would consider her my best friend. We got along in ways that I didn't think were possible for someone like me and the day we started dating was one of the best days of my life, but now things aren't exactly the same considering we're dating but as a whole, I'm still me. She knew who I was coming into this and she hates being a person that wants to ask me to change but I have absolutely zero problem with changing because I see this as a problem in myself, but our relationship has been rocky when she has had to bring this up.
I'm not sure if that's enough backstory to it or if it was even necessary at all considering I'm here for advice, but there it is. | I'm pretty emotionless and laid back in my personality which has led to my girlfriend feeling like she is doing all the work and isn't loved. What are some ways I can really let her know how much she means to me? |
t3_2nrnd7 | tifu | TIFU by trying to turn off a fan | So today is my family's annual post-Thanksgiving brunch at my grandparents' house. Everyone is sitting around the living room watching a recorded version of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and of course I'm on my phone, on reddit. After a few minutes the fan right above me, which was turned on high for some reason, really starts to get a little annoying by buffeting me with cold air when it's already freezing outside. So I decide to turn it off. The light-switch panel right next to me looks like it should have something to do with the pesky fan, so I walk up next to it and flip the only actual switch on the board.
This is where the FU part comes in. Right as I flip that switch, there's a loud pop from the middle of the room.
Shit.
The TV instantly goes black. Everyone looks around confusedly as the sound cuts out as well. Thinking logically here, I quickly flip the switch back the other way and wait a few seconds for the TV to come back on, but of course my efforts are in vain.
I nonchalantly slide back into my seat before anybody figures out what I did. Now it's about five minutes until the big football game and the family is clustered around the television frantically trying to fix the unresponsive DVR box while I'm sitting on my phone writing this.
And of course my grandmother immediately turned the fan back on, but at this point I'm not taking the chance of trying to turn it off again. | tried to turn a fan off because I was cold, looks like I broke my grandparents' new flatscreen TV instead. |
t3_1um9ox | relationships | Boyfriend (24) of four years ignoring me (22/f) after fight...what to do? | My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, and for the most part, our relationship is great. We enjoy spending time together and very rarely fight. We have had our issues, just like any other couple, but we always overcome them
On Sunday night, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Well, really, he got upset with me. It was over something silly at first, but then he ended up bringing up a bunch of stuff that he has clearly been angry about for awhile. He made valid points, I understand that I'm not a perfect girlfriend and can do stuff that doesn't always make him happy. I just wish he would have communicated all this before freaking out over it. We fought, and he ended up leaving before we resolved things. Now, as I said, we hardly ever fight and most of the time really enjoy each others company.
Now here's the issue: yesterday, he ignored me all day. I sent him a text in the morning and just never got a response. This upset me a bit because he usually doesn't ignore me, even after we fight. I'm not really sure what to do now. I get that he was pretty upset, so do I just let him have space? Or should I try to get into contact with him? I really don't like being ignored, and can't help but to assume the worst...but I also understand that it hasn't been that long since we fought and sometimes people need space. If I do just need to give him space...how long do I let him be alone for? | Boyfriend of four years got upset with me Sunday night, and left before resolving anything. Sent him a text yesterday, got ignored all day and I can't help but to assume the worst. What do I do now? |
t3_2tp5fj | relationships | I (20F) feel less like people question my looks in comparison to my boyfriend (24M) | I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. He is absolutely, conventionally gorgeous. We literally get stopped on the street by people complimenting/catcalling him (not me). My friends (both male and female) often remark on how good-looking he is. In the past he has slept with 6 different girls, while he is my first sexual partner. Sometimes I feel unconfident of my looks in comparison to his. He finds me beautiful, and often says so, but I can't help feeling like people often question how I "got him." It astounds me how easy-going and loving our relationship is, but I can't help but let this bother me. I would not say I have ever been extra insecure (or more so than any other gal out there) but I have only had attention from a few guys in my life. I find myself attractive, but not hugely so, and I think my looks only appeal to certain people. Anyone have any suggestions about how to get over this? | Any advice on how to feel more confident in my looks (unconventional) in comparison with my boyfriend (gorgeous)?. |
t3_3dal5k | relationships | Girlfriend (15) and me (17) got tore apart by her parents, is giving it another shot a smart thing to do or do I just wait? | Hey Reddit.
This is more of an update for anyone who cares.
[Link to op](
I have a better understanding about the whole situation now, and I'm wondering if I should try calling her parents again, in hopes that they answer and I could talk to them about this whole problem. Summer is almost over, so there still might be time.
I'm just worried that if I call, and they end up getting mad or choose not to hear me out, they might take some of it out on her, which I don't want. I know I've got nothing to lose really, because they left me with my hands tied and took her away, but I'm not sure what would happen to her if I do call and it doesn't go well.
I failed to mention that I want her back not because I want to be with her, that'd be almost impossible because her parents would be on my ass 24/7, I just want her back because she deserves better than what she got.
She should still be able to go to school, see her friends, and have a high school experience, and not be couped up in a house all school year.
So what should I do reddit? Some are just telling me I have no control of it right now, which might be true. But, it may be for the best if I just let it go... I just don't know right now. Thanks in advance. | After some time has passed, and things have settled down, would it be a good idea to try and call her parents to talk about the situation? |
t3_4f032y | relationships | My [31 FTM] boss [40~ F] will not accept that I'm transgender, but by "not accept," I probably mean something other than what you're thinking. | I work in an office. My boss is apparently not the sharpest tool in the shed.
I would like to preface this by saying she is VERY liberal for a Christian and that I don't think she has any ill feelings towards transgender people.
I am transgender, but I look like a cisgender ("normal") man after being on prescription testosterone for about 10 years. There is nothing about me that looks female and I think that's where my boss is having trouble.
You see, every few days or once a week or so, she asks me what the pendant around my neck means. It's a triangle with the transgender symbol inside it. Every time, without fail, I tell her it's the transgender pride symbol. She **always** wants to know why I wear that and asks if I'm showing support for a friend or family member. I tell her I'm transgender. She **always** looks shocked and says, "you want to be a woman?" I inevitably reply with "no, I was born a woman; being transgender goes both ways. There are men who were born women and women who were born men." She always looks really stunned and says something to the effect of "oh, wow" and searches my face/body, probably looking for feminine features, then walks away.
It continues to happen. It has been going on for close to six months now, since she became my boss. It started out funny, but now it's becoming irritating. Is there something wrong with the way I'm explaining it? How can I resolve this? I don't want to get rid of my pendant because I've worn it for 15 years and would honestly feel naked without it. Should I just lie and say it's related to something else? | Boss literally will not accept that I'm transgender. It's like her brain has a wall up. It's bizarre. |
t3_23qcn0 | relationships | NC with my [24/f] ex-bf [28?/m] for one year; receiving calls from insurance and county offices looking for him. | My family and I have been receiving calls re: my ex-bf, requesting information about his whereabouts, etc. I just got off of the phone with the insurance company (whom I also happen to have an account with, but never had it linked with his in any way) and she stated that she was given my information as being a way to contact him. I stated that I never had any of my account information linked to him and to not contact me with regards to him at all.
Two weeks ago my parents finally mentioned that they had been receiving phone calls from our local county office requesting information on his whereabouts for about 3 months now (totaling maybe 4 or 5 calls.) My dad said he didn't even know who ex-bf was (he forgot for various reasons) but had mentioned the calls to my mom, who then told me.
I contacted his sister after this, whom I have superficial friendship with, and asked why they would be contacting me and my family regarding her brother. She told me he had gotten a DUI a few months before and she didn't know any more than that because he no longer spoke to her.
It is a little unnerving because the only time our names and information were ever together were when we signed a lease on an apartment. That's it. Could it be possible they are pulling my contact information from there or bills from our residence together?
My main question is: **do I break NC to tell him to get his affairs in order, so that I am no longer involved with all of this?**
I hate that he has popped back up into my life as it was a very tumultuous relationship and quite frankly, he is a bad person. Any ideas as to how to get myself and my family out of this?!
I can elaborate more if needed. I just want this guy out of my life; one year was simply not long enough. | No Contact with ex-bf; he got a DUI and now companies/government is calling my family and I for info on him. Do I break NC to tell him to get his shit together? |
t3_k7lcv | AskReddit | Dad just had knee surgery done, is it normal to be in a constant/lingering state of pain? | In short, he had one of his knees done. He was in the military, and I'm not sure what part of his job (aviation technician) involved destroying them, but that's beside the point.
He had surgery done yesterday, and they gave him oxy-codone (spelling) - but I guess it still took him 45 mins to walk from the car to the house, and he's passed out from the pain a few times already.
Does anyone here know (either from personal experience, or from someone whose had it done that you know of) if this is normal? I just had wrist surgery done on both my wrists, but it was not anywhere near painful (I was on Vicodin) at any point!...
Also, my Dad's not a wimp, so this is unusual to himself/the family. I'm worried that he won't get his other knee done if this turns out to be an abnormal situation. | Dad's in exteme amounts of pain after surgery, is this normal? What can he do to alleviate it?.. |
t3_4n9j8j | relationship_advice | I (15M) Need help pursuing a serious love interest of a girl I have known all my life (15F) | I have posted about this before but desperately need all the help I can get, and please don't say anything like (you're too young, or, you don't know what love is yet) because that really just doesn't help anyone...
So sunday night I went out with an old friend who I've known for a long time and we had some whiskey and set up a fire in the sand dunes and just generally had a good time, we got to the intoxicated stage where we are both super honest and I just found her to be super sweet, she told me about how she had lost her virginity and learning this truth made me feel very sad and I later started crying a bit that night...
Then she came over and held my head on her lap and basically made me feel so special and comfortable, and then she laid down next to me and we just laid there with eachother in eachothers hands and it felt so good, her warm touch just made me feel loved and cared for. Now I know I was intoxicated and it was just one night but the more I think about it I just feel like I love her more and more... I'm sure you think I'm crazy but I just wish I could tell her but I'm afraid she will freak out or even worse: tell me she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me...
:( I'm just so lost right now 😢
Any help will be really really appreciated, I'm almost always on here so pm me whenever you have a chance please, thank you for taking the time to read this.
Only help/advice is what I want please, thanks... | I love a girl I spent some quality time with at the beach and have known her all my life but don't know how to pursue having a relationship despite sharing close intimate emotional moment together... |
t3_191902 | AskReddit | My GF has absolutely no friends and I don't know how to handle it. What can you suggest? | So here's the story:
My gf an me came together some years ago.
The problem is that i have, let's say, 4-10 very good friends who want to hang out with me from time to time. So 2 days a week we meet and do stuff like bowling, darts, drinking etc.
My problem is, that my gf has absolutely no friends. She hat only 2 "workfriends" but she doen't hang out with them ... so i have to do stuff twice. For exmple i went to the cinema the one day with my friends and the other day my gf wants me to go to see am movie. Also when i hang out with my friends, she stays at home and is like "okay, do whatever you want ..."
I hope you understand my problem ... | I have to do "evening-stuff" 6 days a week because my gf sits at home when i hang out with my friends |
t3_1novb6 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my potential girl [22 F] 3 weeks, can't read her and need help | So I met this girl online a few weeks ago. We definitely hit it off in our conversations and both were very interested. We talked a lot and couldn't wait to meet each other. We were talking every day.
---
About a week ago, we finally met up, both very excited. It was a little awkward for me at first because she picked me up in her car to take me somewhere that she knew better than me (just to walk around and talk), but nevertheless, things were happy and okay. There was nothing negative or weird or abnormal. We hugged each other goodbye happily.
---
She told me even before we met that this week was going to be really busy and long for her. We did talk a few more nights after we met, although she was starting to get busy, so it was a little bit less responsive than normal. A few days ago she texted me first that day saying how she "hoped my day was going well!!" and we texted back and forth a little. That night, I started a conversation with her on skype and she was really positive and happy, "wish you could come with me :) haha" (stuff like that). I replied something totally normal and friendly (definitely could not be misconstrued in any way), and got nothing back. Thought she was busy but didn't get anything back that whole night.
---
Every day since then, I've sent one simple text, and also gotten no response. I haven't heard from her since that small skype talk. She did mention that she was busy, but it seems weird to not respond at all, especially when there was nothing negative that occurred. I really don't understand and it's driving me nuts. | Things were going well with a new girl, nothing negative happened, and then she dropped off the face of the planet. |
t3_1qex8r | relationships | When should you give up and let go of the relationship? [23M] broke up with [21F] after six months. | I was dating my girlfriend for six months. It's not very long. During the time I saw many flaws in her. Her inability to handle stress and separate them from family, work, school, and relationship. Over time she also stop going out and just want to stay home and study like a hermit. I accepted those things about her and decided to work it through.
We eventually broke up. She decided that she has no space in her life for me and she cannot accommodate me. I was fine with that and decided to move on.
I'm the type of guy that likes to work through things and I'm pretty stubborn. I only know if that the girl is emotionally abusive and makes me feel like crap, then I should leave. But there's a lot of gray areas and there are many times where I don't mind certain things, but as time passes, I know they can be annoying down the road.
I'm just wondering how do you guys decide when enough is enough and let go of the relationship? | When do you guys draw the line and end the relationship instead of working through the problems? Also where do you draw the lines on compromise and accommodation? Easy to point out problems, even harder to fix them. |
t3_1ojzgl | running | Did my first marathon over the weekend, hit the wall at mile 22, trying to figure out what I did wrong... | Did my first marathon ever (my first race ever of any kind since track in high school), did Higdon's novice 1 plan, carbo loaded a week before the race, properly hydrated starting 3 days before the race, did the 2 week taper, got enough rest leading up to the big day, ran a slow 12 min/mi pace (like I planned) the whole time and just enjoyed myself and the scenery and ran my own race. It was a beautiful first experience.... up until I hit the wall at mile 22 and started hating life. Walked the rest of the race up until the last mile, gathered whatever energy I had left and ran the last mile, got my medal, but somewhat was still disappointed about hitting the wall.
Around mile 15 I started getting muscle cramps/twitching in my left calf, very minor at first but got progressively worse up until hitting the wall, I'm guessing I was low on potassium so I'm making sure I bring a tablet or two my next race. What's weird is that I never experienced it during training- not during any of my long runs or ever.
As for as hitting the wall at mile 22, I've always thought it was weird that the novice 1 training plan topped off my last long run at 20 mi, and then I'm expected to add another 6.2 miles after the 2 week taper? So it sort of made sense that I would crap out at mile 22, whenever I set a new distance PR it was always at 2 or 3 mile increments. And I've read some comments on here against the whole '50% of your mpw is your long run' and that it is a bad idea borderling injury territory
I'm still trying to do some more research as to what to do differently, maybe doing 1 or 2 more 20 mi long runs before the 2 week taper with a 12 mi week in between, or going up as far as 23 before tapering.... I don't know yet. And I know this is bordering around overtraining/injury territory but I really, REALLY do not want to hit the wall ever again. | hal higdon novice 1 didn't work for me, very skeptical from the start about ending training with a 20 mi long run instead of something higher like 23 mi, but still very unsure. Trying to rethink whole training plan |
t3_49uvfp | relationships | I (22m) feel as if I've been demoted by my (22f) friend, am I overreacting?Dating | Last year I met a cute girl at a friend's place. I grabbed her number and she invited me over to hang out a few weeks later. We got along real well and drank for hours. She explained she was in an open relationship so sex with others was allowed. She came onto me and we started fooling around. Due to drinking for pretty much the entire day before going over, along with some personal issues I was unable to get an erection and we couldn't have sex. She still seemed into me and I decided to give it a try another time.
Fast forward to the next couple hang outs, she seemed a lot more reluctant to have sex and didn't want to go past kissing. Once while changing she basically alluded to the fact that she felt it weird for us to see each other naked.
I like this girl as a person, and we've been hanging out pretty frequently as friends, but in the back of my mind I feel like my lack of performance caused her to basically friendzone me. It feels like a shot to my manhood when she discusses other sexual partners in front of me, while I know I blew my chance to be one of them.
I think it's obvious how she views me, should I just accept our status and enjoy her company as a friend? | I don't mind being friends with this girl, but I feel like my lack of performance ruined what could have been a friends with benefits and it hangs over my head all the time. Should I confront her or just accept being friends? |
t3_1ab9kb | relationship_advice | [18M] Interested in [18F] who is already in a relationship | This girl and i began talking daily in a class we share and have gotten to become decent friends. We knew each other already(she hooked me up with one of her friends in middle school) and havent talked since then, but it was pretty natural and easy to become friends again.
We started talking every day and begin flirting a little, but im unsure of how far i should take it since she has a boyfriend. They have been dating for 2+ years, but it seems that things arent going too steady. She has expressed some minor problems they have, and even said how she wish she had an easier boyfriend to break up with when we were talking about deal breakers in relationships. I didnt really take it too seriously since she was probably just mad at him. It would sound like they are destined to break up soon, but she seems so afraid of breaking off a 2 year relationship thats shes willing to try and make it work. I mean, her boyfriend ditches her on the daily to hang out with other girls who are friends.
My question isnt how i should convince her to break up with him, because thats just an entirely shitty thing to do. Im more interested in how can i remain friends with her, yet let her know that i do have a thing for her? We flirt, but i dont think she realizes that im being more than friendly. I feel like she sees me as unobtainable because i unintentionally make it seem like i hang out with tons of girls, but ive always had the attitude that tons of girls are after me. Its just a form a confidence that tends to work with most women, but she isnt the typical girl id go for so i fall short there. | Been casually flirting and getting to know a girl that has been in 2 year relationship, but cant find reason to break it off. How do i prevent getting friend-zoned? |
t3_27fk8w | tifu | Tifu while being high and hungry and thinking I blew my mouth up | So I came home from a long day of school, I decided to pick up a lil something something on the way home today, I decided to go for a smoke before my mom showed up which I did.. Then decided to fall asleep! I woke up to the house with all the lights off and the faint smell of some cooking.. So me being the pig I am ran to the fridge to see what was made..
To my delight there were 3 boiled egg's in a bowl, looking like 3 eggs that were about to be eaten but before that I needed to get high.. I went for a smoke then half way through my smoke put the egg's in the microwave for 45 seconds.. (I never knew they blew up if nuked) so MY egg's don't blow up.. Oh NOOO, So I decide to pour some ketchup in the bowl, and mow away..
Here's where I fuck up I grabbed one of the egg's, it was hot as fuck so I drove it into my mouth.. Oh did I mention they call me One-bite at school? I'm infamous for my eating capabilities.. The egg enters my mouth and as I crunch down on it I hear a pop followed with an instant numbness in my mouth and jaw, as the lights were still out brilliant me decides to spit ALL of the egg out towards the other two egg's and SURE ENOUGH they both blow up and scold whatever the pieces of egg touch, including my face and my bare stomach, with me freaking the fuck out finally realizing my jaw is still attached and my lips are all charred from the egg releasing hot steam onto the side of my face, now I look like I got half a joker smile going on + all the small burn marks from the debris of egg that flew everywhere, I clean up and mom comes out and continues to laugh at me how stupid I am and that I look like the joker, Did I mention there's also ketchup EVERYWHERE I needed to clean up? | I nuked three egg's then ate one and it blew up in my mouth following with the other two to explode and burn me all over. |
t3_38ddbd | offmychest | Tired of Having to Deal with These Judgemental Parent Figures | To start, I am already in my mid 20s so I am not a teenage kid ranting about parents not buying me an iPhone.
I have come to hate parent figures, or at least parents who act like it's okay to bombard someone with pressure through expectations. I grew up with my grandparents (and parents lived next door, don't ask, it's a very complicated story) who pressured me with their old-fashioned and unrealistic expectations. Grades anything below A was never acceptable in my childhood. While other kids enjoyed playing outside under the sun, I was inside reviewing lessons and "perfecting" homework and/or practicing whatever musical instrument my grandparents thought would be good to show off to their friends. When I was given the chance to study overseas, I accepted the offer without any hesitation, anything to get away from my grandparents and my dad who always judged me for "not" living up to their expectations. And I thought my days of having to prove myself to anyone has been over a long time ago, but that's where I was wrong. The guy I've been dating since middle school and now engaged to have parents who were just like my dad and my grandparents. And since we made our relationship known to public back when we were 19, they have done nothing but criticize and judge me for not meeting their expectations. I'm 25 now and I am so tired of hearing them ask about how much I earn with my current job and when am I moving to this bigger and "better" airline company. It is getting very emotionally exhausting and I hope they stop doing that or if they can't stop, I hope they just vanish already. | fed up with high expectations family, went away and now dealing with high expectations soon-to-be in-laws and are all driving me insane! |
t3_y5ert | AskReddit | My younger sister found a slew of adult websites where someone had used her full name and city, and posted doctored pictures (from when she was fifteen) and very sexual things pretending to be her. Police haven't helped much, does she have any other options? | She stumbled across these websites by googling her "NAME, CITY", which means that anyone who does the same will find websites of "her".
They contain harmless pictures, but the pictures were taken when she was underage. They have semen photoshopped on her face, and captions like "looking to get raped".
Some of the websites have posts by "her" looking for rape, slave/master relationships, etc.
She has been to the police countless times, but all they say they can do is take a report. She has an idea of who it may be, but the police can't do anything without more evidence.
So right now she is just trying to stay on top of it and email the websites when she finds them. Some take the profiles down, some don't.
There must be a way to get a warrant for the ip address, or a way to look for all the websites this sicko may have made.
Any ideas would be very much appreciated. | sister has been impersonated, her reputation has been completely destroyed at 19, using materials when she was underage, and fake online profiles on adult websites. |
t3_1olbyg | relationships | I [24 M] found out my brother [14 M] got a girl pregnant and she had an abortion. Mom wants me to have a talk with him in tonight. | His grades have been slipping. He's an extremely talented musician.
Recently our mom accidentally (she says, but I mean, really) read some notes he'd gotten from a girl at school. They detail sex acts, etc. But one note says that he got her pregnant and she got an abortion.
My mom assumes this explains his recent stress, closed-off-ness, and sudden drop in grades.
However, he won't talk to her. And my step-dad, his dad, is not quite father of the year (not his fault, he's from a poor country and still is sometimes baffled that I didn't start working right after middle school)
Anyway she says he acts entirely unconcerned about what happened and does not acknowledge that his girlfriend getting an abortion is a serious thing. Nor does he care about his grades slipping or potentially never doing music again, etc.
Anywho. I have to talk to him later. I have some ideas of what to say, what to focus on, etc. But I'm always for hearing what others think.
I typed all of that and didn't quite make an effort to communicate: I do actually WANT to talk to him. And I do actually care. | little brother got a girl pregnant, she got an abortion, he's becoming more and more distant and uncaring. Mom thinks I can help if I talk. What should I say? |
t3_rgkbt | loseit | Some advice from Loseit please?! | Hi All,
I just wondered if anyone had any advice for me - I have basically changed my lifestyle over the past year or so, in order to lose some weight. I started at 165lbs, and I am now at 146lbs. My goal is around 120lbs. I just need some advice around taking a break from weight loss, and picking up where I left off, only for the next month or two. Basically I am in the final month of my degree, I also work full time, and I just feel too stressed and exhausted to be worrying about weight loss. I will still try and eat healthily, but I just don't want to be super strict while I'm so stressed. What do you think? Will this damage my efforts, or should it be easy to pick back up where I left off as soon as I'm finished at uni?
I'd be very grateful for any advice or opinions please! Thank you :) | Doing my finals, too stressed to calorie count etc. Is this OK? Can I take a break and pick up in a month or two, without "falling off the wagon"?? |
t3_lzobi | AskReddit | I'm beginning to think that my dad has become an alcoholic. What can I do? | My dad is a great man. He's my favorite person in the entire world, and I would never want to live without him near me.
Some background: He's in his early fifties, comes from a broken home, works constantly just to survive, is married to a woman that he hates (it's mutual), and he owes the IRS a substantial amount because he fell behind on his taxes when his wife, my mother, developed a debilitating addiction that went on for over five years. She had previously provided probably 3/4 of the household funds, and not only did they lose her income, but she began spending thousands that they didn't have on her addiction. She's clean now, but the family has never recovered. His father was an alcoholic (and drank himself to death), and his sister and brother are both heavy drinkers.
He has always enjoyed drinking, but recently he has begun consuming at least one bottle of wine per day, and I find empty scotch bottles stashed all over the house. Every night all he wants to do is sit at the television and drink until he goes to bed. I've commented on this before, but he brushed me off so easily that I didn't really think too deeply about it until recently.
My dad and I have always been extremely close, and for years he was my best and only friend..but lately he has been exploding at me, calling me a bitch and everything else over microscopic issues such as dinner and television, and he has this enormous sense of injustice over the smallest slights. I've noticed that he only behaves like this when he hasn't had anything to drink yet, and now I'm beginning to think that he is an alcoholic.
I'm sorry for the | I just don't know what to do. We've never been a family to really discuss issues or feelings, and if I bring this up to him, he'll only brush me off or respond in anger. |
t3_3c9ytj | relationships | My mom (45F) just left me and my siblings with my Dad (46M). I (23F) don't know what to do for me and my siblings. | It's been nearly a whole day since my mom left and my dad has been quiet about it. The both of them have had big arguments and most times me and my siblings learned to ignore it but I usually catch snippets of what they are saying. Today seemed to be the tipping point as my mom had packed up her backpack and a sleeping bag. It seems that today was the last straw.
It first seemed that he convinced her to stay but she started to be sneaky around us all and raised a few flags:
-she asked to take a photo of my little sister
-she was carrying the sleeping bag and going through our garage.
-I asked her where is she going and she said nothing. Just ignored me.
-I asked my dad and he said "I'll be back in a bit"
-her phone is at home
-she wore her cap that she only wears for traveling. Also wore her hiking shoes.
Its been hours since we last saw her and my dad is acting like nothing happened other than look for his stupid iPhone that my mom hid. The reason why they've been fighting is cause that my dad was cheating on her and he asked her to stop being a "super mom". She's done this before back when I was a kid but out of anger and frustration on me. I now have an innate fear of abandonment from either parent and worry that this will screw up my younger siblings life as it did to me.
Im really at my end here...i don't know what to do for me or my siblings. | Mom left nearly a day ago and seems to leave permanently. Dad isn't doing anything about it except look for his phone and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1psyjn | relationships | Me [17M] Her [17F] I need advice on coping with the loneliness after a breakup | So I have been without friends and alone for pretty much all my life. I have never had a long lasting friendship that lasted more than a couple months, or even weeks. I went without a friend for the first 12 years of my life before I decided to act more social and get friends. And my family has never really cared about me, or at least they have never shown it.
I always try my best to make friends, I always try and be as nice as possible and stay true to who I am, but no one seems to like me enough to stay friends with me for a long amount of time. I don't know why.
And then 2 years ago there she is, she came out of no where, she was not only the first person I have ever been in a relationship with, but the first true friend I have ever had. It was the happiest 2 years of my life, I have never had someone I could talk to about anything, and not be afraid of her stabbing me in the back, or hurting me.
But then came him. He was perfect, everyone loved him, and he one upped me in every way possible. He had hundreds of friends, and was super attractive and all that, blah blah. Long story short, she cheated on me with him, and then broke up with me for him.
I know she isn't worth it anymore, I know I'm just a teenager and there are billions of fish in the sea, I understand that. I just need advice and help with the pain... I don't know when it ends. I don't like being completely alone. I need somebody. | I have been betrayed and completely alone with no friends, and a family that doesn't care. I need advice to help me feel better. |
t3_2p4i3e | relationships | Me [21M] Christmas gift for my [19F] SO in an undefined relationship | I have been seeing this girl for about 7 months, but we didn't become serious until about 3-4 months ago. We were friends for about 6 months before we got together. In the last semester (we are in college together) we transitioned from friends with benefits to exclusive and more serious. Neither of us need the BF/GF label but in almost every aspect we are dating. We did just recently have a talk where we agreed that we would both like to continue to be together in the new semester. I am graduating in May so this most likely has an expiration date but we are really enjoying this in the present and not worrying to much about the future.
So my real question is do I get her a Christmas gift and what do I get her? She is fairly anti-romantic stuff and its really tough for her to commit. She is the type of girl to laugh at rom-coms instead of day-dreaming about them. Its a minor miracle I am where I am with her and it took her a long time until she felt comfortable with the idea of us going on dates. I don't want to make her uncomfortable or think that I'm pushing for further commitment, I just want to show the girl I'm with that I care for her. I'm just not sure what type gift would say all that.
I appreciate any and all advice!! | technically not dating, but still exclusively together. Shes afraid of commitment. Don't know if I should get her a gift. or what I should get her |
t3_2x9xh5 | relationships | [18F] Embarassed about telling my Boyfriend [18M] About Fetish | Using a throwaway for obvious reasons, and this probably sounds really messed up so my apologies in advance. I've been together with my boyfriend for 10 months and we've asked eachother before about any fetishes and we shared stuff that isn't really weird or embarassing. But I have a fetish that I've wanted to tell him about but I'm extremely embarassed about it and I don't know if I should tell him or not. I don't know how to explain it but it's like, I've fantasized about him having sex with his ex-girlfriends or another girl. I know that probably sounds disgusting but I don't know why. I just find that to be a turn on and I don't know if I'd actually be able to go through with it.
I'd want to watch him do stuff with another girl but he might be really weirded out by that idea, and I'm not attracted to girls or anything like that either. I wouldn't want it to be like a threesome, I just find the humiliation of him being with another girl to be a turn on. Should I tell him about it? Sorry again if it's really weird/gross. | I kind of want to tell my boyfriend about a fetish I have but I'm embarassed about it and I don't know how it would turn out. |
t3_2s8tm8 | relationships | I [30 F] saw a married man [43 M ], for 7 months because he said a divorce was imminent; I told his wife and as a result they split. He is not mad at me and wants to meet up because he says hes madly in love with me and I agreed. How to approach? | Obviously I feel badly about even entering the situation, I resisted for a year, but then fell for him. I also feel bad about subsequently telling on him.
To be honest, I am shocked that he forgives me for it, and now he wants to meet up. He says hes trying to forgive me, is completely in love with me, and wished I hadn't complicated the split because it was going to happen, absent my intervention.
I am crazy about him too, but I am sincerely looking for some advice on how to approach the situation when we meet this weekend for the first time since I told on him. I would prefer to avoid the conversation of what happened because I am worried it will lead to an argument. Perhaps some people that have been in this position can just share their experiences. | Met a married guy, told his wife, they split, he wants to be together, how should I approach meeting him? |
t3_2ljwgi | tifu | TIFU by sending a bomb threat to a school | This didn't happen today, it happened a few years ago, anyways...
To start off, I've never been good in school. I've never turned in work, and of course the teachers would discipline me for not turning shit in, and as a result I always tried to get out of school, however I could. At one point I even faked having bronchitis to get out of it.
After good old Christmas break, I realized "oh boy school is in 7 hours and I don't have any work done", and I immediately started thinking of ways to avoid school. My brilliant mind thinks, "Maybe sending a bomb threat would work! They wouldn't know who sent it!" and I send a short little e-mail saying a bomb was planted at the school.
I oversleep, and my dad drives me to the school. We arrive, and I fucking shit myself. There's State Police and K9 units going around the school, rerouting people to the high school. They evacuated the whole school and made buses drive the students to the high school. My dad proceeds to drop me off in freezing temperatures, I walk to the high school, and we sit in the auditorium for about 2 hours. Every student in there is wondering what's happening, and I'm just sitting there realizing that I fucked up.
They take us back to the middle school after finding no bomb, and we go to our 1st period class. After the extremely short 1st period class (they also made it a half day, the weather was horrible, periods were shortened), the vice principal comes and takes me to the office, she doesn't say anything but I know that she knows that I sent it. I sit down, see troopers waiting to take me to the State Police barracks (or whatever it would be), and I'm ready to die.
I proceed to get suspended for the remainder of the school year, I get 6 months of probation, I had to pay 2k to the school for reparation, and most importantly, *I miss the great field trip I could have taken to the local water park*. | When I was a young shit I sent a bomb threat to my school to get out of going, and I ended up getting fucked over. |
t3_3s7q29 | relationship_advice | How am I [25/m] supposed to believe in my [24/f] friend's words when i realize the story isn't 100% accurate? | Hi,
There this girl which i talk friendly with no further intentions, who I confide about relationship stuff and other things... in the beginning of the month she confessed that she was pissed up with her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, because he was being rude and she wanted to break up with him due to him stating that he wasn't able to give 100% sure that he wouldn't betray her... a few days they broke up... and now I realized that she had someone on the way simultaneously, probably betraying the old boyfriend in the process... and she told me the version where she was the saint.
How am i supposed to believe in her words? | Friend tells me that she is breaking up with her boyfriend because of him... but the true story is the one where she breaks up with him because of someone else entering her life at the same time, probably cheating on her ex |
t3_p54ab | AskReddit | What actually happens on Birthright Israel Trips and its negative effect on relationships? | My ex-girlfriend recently got back from a birthright trip to Israel. Upon returning, she broke up with me, claiming she had an "epiphany" while she was there that allowed her to "clear her mind". That's sort of fair. We're both jewish, which is not the problem. We've both got a lot to handle on a day-to-day basis at school. It's a fair reason.
However, after discussing this with friends who attend other schools, I've come to realize that I am not the only one who has experienced this. Friends claimed that they experienced the same situation with their boyfriend or girlfriend when he or she returned home. They all experienced "moments of clarity" or some other reason that resulted in them breaking up in the end.
I am just wondering if this is coincidence, or if others have experienced this. I find it hard to understand.
Also, if you have any insight, please share your thoughts. | Girlfriend broke up with me after going to israel on birthright because of an "epiphany". This evidently has happened to others as well. Can anyone provide a reason, possibly? |
t3_3h7j3t | tifu | TIFU My hungover dad just woke up from me accidently burning his soccer blanket | Ive been working on a homemade laser for past 2 weeks,and i finished just a couple hours ago. As the child I am i wanted to try out on something thats not mine.
My dad was hardcore drinking last night so he slept like at 12 am or something like that. He was watching soccer game and raging really hard since his shitty team was losing. This should give you idea of the person he is.
So as i finished my laser i thought id do him a favor by changing design with my laser since after trying on cloth it changes color a little( ik what color switches what so there was no problem in having wierd coloring). So i just put mini jank laser over the insignia and it catches straight on fire.
I messed with device a little before hand to make it stronger and faster. But that shit didnt work,suddenly a burning mexican flag is in front of me and stanking.
Idk what to grab so i for some reason grab a plate and smash it right over the flag thinking hitting it would stop the burning. Now i have a fucking plate destroyed and a dead fucking flag. My dad is half fledge awake from hungover and yelling spanish curse words.
I find fire extinguisher and put the nail on the coffin to his shitty flag. I got backhanded but in the end it's slightly funny since im in my room giggling. | Make homemade laser,burn dad favorite flag,he rages,i get slapped. Now in room reading reddit shit. |
t3_1eu768 | AskReddit | What is considered the proper etiquette for who pays this restaurant bill? Please help! | My fiance is turning 25 this thrusday and to celebrate I've picked a night out with both sides of our immediate family at one of his favorite restaurants. So I went ahead and sent out phone calls and emails and basically facillitated all the planning and arrangements to make sure everyone would be in attendance. A reservation was put in under my credit card and our party in total will be around 15 people.
Now me being the kind of person I am, I started thinking ahead towards the portion of dinner when the bill is placed on the table and I wondered what the etiequtte for this is. Is it my responsibility to take care of the entire bill and just pay for everyones dinner since I put the event on? I'm a college student making ends meet and things are tight right now so taking a bill on for a party of this size can be a huge hit for me especially since the menu at this restaurant can easily reach an average of $30.00 an entree.
Now don't get me wrong I will happily pay the bill to it's entirety because ultimately I prefer the 'bill paying' part of the dinner experience to go smoothly and be quickly forgotten, but I just don't know if I have other options that are considered proper.
For example if I were to ask his siblings ahead of time to help cover the bill for his birthday would this be considered normal? | What's considered the norm for paying a bill for a dinner that I invited everyone to for a loved one's birthday. |
t3_4nq5dt | relationships | Me [m36] with my wife [F29] for five years. Cheated on her, and dunno how to gain her trust again. | Okay, I know I sound like an idiot, but honestly, I did not mean to cheat on her. It was when I was very drunk at a bachelor party, I had sex with a woman I met in the bar. I made a mistake. Got tested for STD's and I'm clean. It's over. This was about six months ago, at my best friends bachelor party. I told my wife last week, and she hasn't spoken to me since. She wants to break up. We have two children, Cassandra is 3 and Brendan is 6 months.
My wife flipped out at me, and immediately broke things off with me and told me that she's filing for divorce. I can totally see why she's doing this, I know I made a massive mistake, but I can't help but feel she's making a mistake.
She's staying with her sister for the minute, and I haven't talked to my kids in days because the last time I rang, her sister answered the phone and started screaming at me.
She wont even stay together for Cassie and Brendan's sake. I'm scared I'll lose her, I need to make her see sense. Help me Reddit. | Cheated on my wife, she's told me she wants to file for divorce, need to make her see sense for our kids sakes. |
t3_2f4meg | self | Rant about my ISP. | So, before you say anything, no, it is NOT Comcast. It is Centurylink. My internet was a bit lacking, my computer would literally freeze up at moments just to load a page, when a week or two prior, this never happened. I decided to go to Ookla. Here are some before/after results.
[Before](
[After](
My DL speed went down the shitter, into the fucking blender full of piss. And this was only 20 damned days ago! I opened/closed Steam constantly because I thought my computer was shit! It has horrible specs, sure, but it can run Bioshock! The fan slits weren't even that fucking dusty!
Don't get Centurylink. | My ISP lowers my down significantly, while also doing the same for my up. My up was shitty to begin with. I rant. A lot. |
t3_1yfbfl | AskReddit | How do you deal with a selfish roommate? | Long story short, my roommate asked me if there was anything needed for the apartment so I asked her to get mayo and bleach. Later she comes up and asks if I can pay her back because "she doesn't use those items". Now before you think its four dollars just give her the money. I have spent A LOT more than 4 dollars on items for the apartment that I never use. I know this isn't tit for tat but it is very frustrating when my two other roommates and I buy things needed for the apartment and she gets mad about 4 dollars. Also, why offer to get things for the apartment and then ask for the money. She has done this before, asked us for items and then complained how she doesn't use them. It is petty I know but my roommates and I are tired of hearing "I don't use it" when we all purchase things necessary regardless if we use it or not. This is just one thing she is very selfish about. So this is just the tipping point I guess. So how have you handled dealing with a selfish roommate? Also I try communicating with her and it just goes in one ear and out the other. | Roommate is selfish and petty, won't buy anything for the apartment unless she uses it when everyone else does, how do you deal with a selfish roommate? |
t3_20rmu1 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Crush [16 F] half a year crush | First off, I want to apologize if this is the wrong subreddit for this, as I see most posters are 18+.
This year, a close friend of mine literately has ALL classes together, except for Spanish. And during this this time, I've developed a pretty huge crush on her. The problem is, shes a close friend of mine that I have known for over 3 years now.
I feel like she feels the same way about me, but I have no idea to confirm this. Is there a way for me to find out without being ruining our friendship, as as stay friends is much more important to me. I've considered asking her friends, but her friends are my friends and to me, it would seem quite awkward to ask them :/. | Known a close friend for 3 years and developed a crush on her. How do I find out its mutual without losing the friendship? |
t3_u5bod | AskReddit | I have had sudden realisation about how much of an obsessive and possessive cow I've been. How can I make a doomed friendship work? | Seeming as it was my last day of high school today, I decided to read back on the old messages I had with my best friend who I also love. We have argued a lot and I read through our arguments. They weren't pleasant. He called me "possessive", "obsessive", "controlling" aand "aggressive". I was begging him to still be my friend, because I needed him. I was very selfish, but he was very cruel. I remembered how sad and desperate I was. How upset I was that I was "hated", by one of the only people I cared for.
After reading this, I thought of my relationship with him now. We are close friends yet again. Sure, he gets mad at me sometimes, but he always apologises or he stops being mad at me quickly. It's like he is trying his hardest to make sure we don't fall out and I have no idea why. For two years, I have made his life a misery by just talking to him. He has been bullied by his friends for talking to me, I've been clingy and everything. I've been everything you wouldn't want a friend to be. Yet he is still there and telling me that he hopes that we are even better friends in college, so we completely make peace. This confuses me.
I don't want next year to fall apart. I won't see him as much and I don't want to have another argument with him. | My best friend and I shouldn't be friends, logically speaking. However, he won't give up on me. Why is this? How can I make this odd friendship work? |
t3_2vsdjj | relationships | Me [22/F] with my bf [25 M] 5 years, how do I get him to give me time to myself? | Hi All,
New to Reddit. I just wanted to ask, how much time do you actually spend doing things with your SO? I live together with my BF, and I feel like he is smothering me. In the time that we have been together, I have lost nearly all of my friends, because he never wanted me to leave the house and go out with them. I have also gained weight because he gives me a hard time about going to the gym since he doesn't want me to do something without him, and he refuses to join. When I am at home with him, sometimes I just want some space. I want freedom to read, take a bath, look at stupid shit on the internet, and he makes me feel like I can't do anything unless he is doing it with me. In the event that he does give me some time to myself, it is only an hour. We have a lot of unresolved issues, but this is something that just really irks me. I'm an introvert and need my alone time. I guess I'm just curious to find out how much time other couples who live together actually spend together. I'm wondering if maybe I am just not ready for this type of relationship. | To those of you in LTR, how much time do you actually spend with your SO? I feel like I am being smothered, but don't know if this is normal. |
t3_2vkmou | tifu | TIFU by consuming an unknown quantity of tequila | It was the 5th of May and our Cinco de Mayo celebration began with shots - 50/50 vodka and hot sauce ([picture evidence]( At the time I lived in a 3 bedroom, 1 bath house with 7 other people. So a Mexican holiday constituted sufficient cause for partying even though we lived in South Jersey. I don't remember much from that drinkful day; this is more about the stories my friends related afterwards. We played drinking games and debated about whether or not buying another bottle of tequila was the right decision (it wasn't and we did, 3 times). Reliable witnesses place me on the couch with a beer mug half filled with not beer but tequila.
I must have tottered drunkenly into the wrong bedroom when I finally tried to go to bed. My housemates sleeping in that room somehow convinced me to leave, but not before I curled up at the bottom of their bed whining, "I just want to stay here! What could I possibly do that would bother you!?" What indeed? I peed right there where I lay down, leaving a damp patch of bedding behind. I awoke early in the afternoon the next day, completely naked in the hallway laying on my back. Apparently housemates had politely walked around me, taking care not to trip on the morning wood.
I know it sounds like an episode of shameless, but it definitely happened and I have never drank that much since. | I drank way too much tequila, peed in my friends' bed, woke up naked in the hallway standing at attention.* |
t3_4xcklv | relationship_advice | How I [40F] can forgive my mentally ill husband [35M]? | This is a throwaway.
I [40F] am together with DH [35M] for 4 years. We have a baby boy [1M].
Last year DH had acute case of schizophrenia by RX side effect just before our son's delivery. I ended up with a c-section over a stress-induced hypertension and infections. The crazy parents-in-law were totally not helpful at that time. (MIL has Aspergers and FIL is alcoholic. I believe that psychosis runs in MIL's side of family.) I had been a door mat for everyone to get DH back to the real world. It was the hardest time in my life but I made it for our son's sake. It took almost one year for him to be normal again.
Last month he went insane again. The trigger was a FB chat with someone he loved in the past. She said she has terminal cancer. So DH asked me if he can spend a week with her. I was disgusted. He risked my and son's life for his stupidity and he was asking me even more. He soon realized how stupid thing he had asked and withdrew it. But I was already so hurt and couldn't stop taunting him. By all stress, his schizophrenia has come back. it was not good environment for our son so I sent DH to In-law's (hoarder/cat) house against his will.
We both still love each other. But I lost my motivation to support his mental ill. He and parents-in-law totally ruined our son's first year and my joy of motherhood. I have no idea how to cope with my feelings.
I am an immigrant through this marriage and I don't have family nor close friends here in US. My family is in somewhere in Asia 10 hours fly away. So separation isn't easy for me. I have to take care of our baby so I can't run. Our son is American citizen and I am not (green card holder.) I am trapped. | DH has schizophrenia. He needs my support but I am tired of being doormat. We have a baby and I am trapped.* |
t3_vjobp | BreakUps | Need some advice and insight | Here's the deal:
I (22/m) recently went through a really tough break up after two years with my 23 y/o gf. It was the kind of break up where we both cried. It's the only break up either one of us had where the end of the relationship wasn't dysfunctionional. There was nothing wrong in our relationship except for the fact that we are both in very different places and her world is getting a whole lot bigger making a career change while I'm recently graduated and still looking for a career. She told me that she just didn't feel the same any more. I suspect that she met someone else which didn't cause it but helped spur it on. But in the end that's neither here nor there, I think.
We shared our mutual feelings that each of us were too important to each other to stop being in our lives entirely. I told her that I would take some time to heal but I still want her in my life. She agreed. We have had some contact, not a lot and pretty sterile conversation.
I'm trying to walk the line between healing myself and keeping her as a friend while giving her space. This isn't even about her and I getting back together, I just need some words of wisdom because it hurts like fuck. What do I need to know? What experience do you all have? | Break ups suck. This girl means a lot to me even as just a best friend. I should add that I understand all her reasonings. I know I can't 'fix' her change of feelings. |
t3_4tnj74 | legaladvice | [MN, Dakota County] Had property surveyed, apparently it is about 20' bigger than we though, what do we do from here? | I bought a house that was built in 1960's in September of last year. We always assumed the land ended at the fence that was currently installed. We are installing a new fence/garage and just got a new survey completed. Apparently we own 20' past where the fence is currently placed into my neighbor's yard.
I do not know how long Neighbor has lived there, I do know the house I bought was empty for about a year or so before I bought it and I can assumed he maintained what we now know is my yard.
I am at work and have not talked to Neighbor but my wife said he has seen the new yard stakes. How do I approach this issue? Is it legally my property or does he have a claim to it because he has maintained it for a while? Is there any way we can split the difference with no cash changing hands? I honestly don't want all the land so I want to solve this smoothly since I plan on living here for a long time. | Land surveyed, we own more then we thought, does my neighbor have any claim to the yard we just learned we owned? |
t3_21sjld | relationship_advice | [22/F] My [22/m] boyfriend dropped a bombshell on me today and I don't know what to do | My boyfriend and I have been officially dating for 6 months but we have been "together" almost a year. Today he picked me up to drive us back to school after spring break. He was excited to tell me about this heart to heart he had with his dad the night before. The epiphany he had and that he shared with his dad was that he was finally 100% over his ex girlfriend who he stopped dating about two years ago.
When I met him about a year ago I knew that he has been in a serious relationship previously but he told me he was totally over her. According to him she was manipulative and "crazy". She even came to visit him from another country in the first weeks of our relationship and he told me I had nothing to worry about and the visit actually left him hating her more than he had in the first place.
So hearing today that he was "finally 100% over her" was strange because I thought he already was over her. We have been telling each other we love one another since we started dating. I was obviously upset and began asking questions about what he meant. He told me that he does love me and he has always loved me but he still harbored feelings for his ex "Alyssa". This hurt so badly. I asked him if he had been comparing me to her this whole time and whether he ever gave himself over to me the way I gave my heart to him. I told him I felt betrayed and stupid. I also told him I really don't know if I can get past this. This totally shatters the foundation of our relationship and destroys my trust in him. I still love him but I told him I think we are through. We were both crying on the car ride but when I told him this he cried even more.
I don't know what to do. I think I need to break up with him. I just want perspective on whether this is fair or whether harboring those feelings for his ex isn't as damnable an offense as i feel it is? | Essentially my boyfriend told me today that he has harbored lingering feelings for his ex throughout our 1 year relationship but that he no longer does |
t3_4xaiz7 | relationships | Is it wrong of me [20F] to expect my boyfriend [20M] to get a second job? | Dear Reddit,
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now, and I mostly really love our relationship. He's the most amazing, intelligent, hilarious person I have ever met, and I really do want to be together for the forseeable future! But we've gotten into the whole money issue thing, now, and I'm having a really hard time with it.
A little backstory: we're living with my family while saving to move out. We wouldn't have moved in together so early if his father had not have passed, leaving him an orphan. But that's where we're at. I've been with the same job for two years, I make okay money. He's been working in the same restaurant for about a year, and he doesn't make/work as much as I do. I'm looking for a second job, so we can move out sooner, but he gets really offended when I say that he should do the same.
He says he's about to be promoted, so it doesn't make sense to divide his attention between two jobs. I say that I already work full time, and if I have time for a second job, well. He does, too! His argument is pretty much always that I'm being inconsiderate, because he's been through a lot and that he's done well considering. And I give him that! I'm very proud of how far he's come in the time we've known each other.
But I really, really am not okay with the lack of motivation. He constantly complains about wanting to move out, but hasn't picked up another gig, and hasn't moved up at his current job. And I just don't really know what to do? I don't want to fight about this anymore. | I make/work more than my boyfriend and am about to get a second job to help us move out. He seems unwilling to do the same. What do? |
t3_1pxljf | offmychest | I am intensely bitter about events that happened during my youth. Can we talk? | I am writing because I am swallowed with bitterness and apathetic towards anything that has any positive spin on it. I won't go into to much detail but growing up I was verbally and emotionally abused and degraded on nearly a daily basis at a school I went to when I was young. My parents were the only ones that were really nice to me and I was labeled and treated as an outcast. I have had a failed relationship with a depressive bi-polar self absorbed brat of a girl. I used to be accommodating and like people but now I just don't like people anymore. Seriously, I hate being around people. I really try to make the best of my situations but I am increasingly infuriated by a few things: 1, I can not have a form of a close friendship or relationship with a female, 2, I have taken several blows the last few years with deaths within my circle of friends and family members and 3, I am facing a future that is uncertain. | I am a bitter 21 year old man that has had a lot of shit happen in his past and wants to try to move on, please help |
t3_180qkz | Dogtraining | Puppy seems to be disinterested and defiant when training commands she's already nailed. | My pup is a little over 4 months old. I use clicker training. She has been super smart and easy to work with but the older she becomes she has been more defiant. Not in an aggressive way but just does not want to listen to me anymore.
All of a sudden she is laying down improperly, with her legs off to one side. She stands instead of sits from the down position. She whines in her cage. She used to go in her cage by herself but now she won't go in the cage unless she is being fed. Since she has gotten to the point that she can get up on the couches by herself and I think that is a problem as far as the cage goes. She does drop and leave things when I ask but if we are outside walking it doesn't stick. In fact, she doesn't even listen to my attention noises outside.
I'm sure some is my fault for lack of hardcore training but I do train her almost every night, even if only for 10-15 minutes. Throughout the day I repeat the commands. I have let her sleep with me a few times and we do nap on the couch. Again, I'm sure that's a part of the cage ordeal but I really enjoy laying with her.
Sit, down and stand are things we nailed early on. She even stays rather well and we are still working on that. We used to just be able to rock a bunch of the sit, down and stand routines but now she just loses interest. | Guess I just am wondering if puppies go through an inattention phase or if I'm just doing it wrong or my treats are now boring her. |
t3_3v0gdg | relationships | Me [17M] have hard time getting over it [17F] | A couple of weeks ago I told a girl that I like her and she said that even though I am a nice guy it's not goning to happen. She wasn't mean when she rejected me, she said that I am a nice guy and she would gladly be my friend. But the problem is that six weeks (or so) have passed since but I just can't seem to be able to get over her. I tried not talking to her for a while, avoided her as much as possible while at school but seems like it doesn't really matter what I do because I can't get over it. So I was thinking that you guys can help with some advice because clearly you have more experience. | Told I girl I like her. Six weeks have passed and I don't seem to be able to do it. |
t3_54mrvj | relationships | My friend [24F] recently got engaged to her boyfriend [24M]. They've only been dating six weeks. I [27M] feel extremely concerned and conflicted. | Recently, one of my best friends shared with me that she got engaged to her boyfriend. They've only been dating for six weeks. Needless to say, I was completely shocked. I'm one of very few people she's told so far.
Personally, I'm completely against the idea of her getting married so quickly. I think they're moving far too quickly and I'm extremely concerned that she's going to get hurt very badly. Realistically, I know that I have no say in whatever she does with her life, but I'm extremely worried about her. I feel very emotionally conflicted because I want her to be happy, but what she's doing is extremely reckless.
I've brought up my concerns to her, but she seems to be so blindly in love that my words don't get through. They want to be married by December. I'm told I'm going to be invited to the wedding, but I'm far from emotionally ready to deal with that can of worms yet... | My friend is engaged to someone she's been dating for six weeks and wants to be married by December 2016. I'm extremely worried about her and feel very emotionally conflicted. |
t3_1gdg8p | relationships | Me[20M] with my Girlfriend[18F] of 1 month, wants me to sneak in I don't want to, she keeps pushing | My Gf wants me to sneak into her room so we can fool around, I've told her that I don't want to risk getting caught (her father already dislikes me). she keeps pushing, asking things like "why don't you love me enough to sneak in?" and threatening to withhold sex.
**Some Background on her**: she was abused by her biological father. was a ward of the state for just over a year and was adopted at age 9, her adoptive parents (the ones she is currently living with) opted to change her name at that point. Her father (adoptive) is very strict with her (possibly slightly verbally abusive) but is a pretty okay guy. her mom works a lot and is hardly home.
I love her and don't want this to come between her and I. I know that she has some attachment issues due to he F-ed up childhood. this whole sneaking in thing is super important to her but I don't feel right about it. does anyone have some advice to help me with this problem? | Gf wants me to sneak in, it means a lot to her. I don't want to risk getting caught as her father already doesn't like me. |
t3_1n2c3t | dating_advice | Made out with friend and now getting mixed signals... | Hey
So I met this guy about 6 months ago and we very rapidly became super close friends. We have the same interests and all, and are always in sync. All my friends thought we were dating because we spent a lot of time together, but I never thought of him as more than a friend.
A few weeks ago we got drunk together for the first time and slept over at a friend's. A bunch of us were sleeping on a bed and he was next to me. He kissed me and told me he liked me and said stuff like its a great beginning of a relationship and what not. I went along with it and asked him questions like whether he actually liked me or if he was just drunk and what not. But he said he always wanted to tell me. We just kiss and nothing else really happens. We cuddle through out the night
Morning he acts normal still cuddles when we wake up but then doesnt text me back don't see each other for a week but talk once to hash out the night says he doesnt like me, after which I say ok, it was fun and would've said yes if he asked me out.
When I meet him next doesnt sit next to me or act like he usually did and gets people to hang out with us (we used to always hang out alone). However, he keeps bringing up the night, and obviously flirting.
This wouldn't be a problem if I still felt that way, but I like him now and don't know what to do. Should I give up on the friendship and relationship? Should I move on? Or is there hope? | Friend says he likes me when drunk, then takes it back. Didnt like him but like him now. What do I do? |
t3_ikad6 | AskReddit | College Admissions Advisers: Which is better, a higher GPA or a more difficult schedule? | One of my friends is concerned about his son's schedule for next semester. The son is a rising sophomore in high school and is unsure of whether to drop his Honors History class that he is currently signed up to take in the fall. It seems to me that the main reason he doesn't want to take it is because he would rather have an easier schedule and allow himself to get a better GPA. In my opinion, I think college admissions offices look more at how you challenge yourself rather than if you have a perfect grade point average. What do you think?
Additional information:
-He is trying to get into the U.S. Air Force Academy.
-The class is requiring him to read a rather large book before classes start (summer reading! oh no!)
-He has a girlfriend that he can only see if he reads said book faithfully. (Basically the unsaid reason he wants to drop the class) | Friend's son wants to know if having a tough schedule or having a better GPA is more likely to get him into his top college choice. |
t3_3u0mod | relationships | Is boss flirting? Questionable late night texts. | I got a promotion about 6 months ago at my current job. I have a new 2nd level manager (not my immediate manager but my job requires that I go to the next level often).
My boss is quite touchy. This is fine. The occasional hug, extended back pat/rub, knee pat etc. Recently we went to lunch together and what was supposed to be a 90 minute lunch turned into about 3.5 hours of drinking and talking. I went out w/ coworkers after and he did not. I texted him that he should have come and he said he wanted to hug me and thank me for a great afternoon.
The next week we had a work outing. Out of 30 people he sat next to me. As we drank, he ended up sitting w/ his arm around me for 20 minutes and was pressed up against me often. Later in the evening he and some other guys went to a strip club that he told me I shouldn't go to. I texted him and said hey that was lame I would have come, but he didn't answer.
At 3am, he started texting me back asking what happened to me. I explained that I got in a fight w/ the guy I'm seeing and he said are you in bed? You should wake him up w/ a tug, that'll fix it. I said I was quite awake and he said he was headed in the other direction :(. Then he asked told me the place they were at was very naughty, no rules. He asked if I ever break the rules. I asked what rules and he said THE rules. Then he told me how his wife got a massage that went too far but now he sees it popping up on his credit car all the time. I told him I was sorry for being a ridiculous person and he said ' no you're the best, night.'
Not sure what to make of this. | Boss sent some texts late at night after work outing - to be fair, I started it by asking where they went. Is this appropriate? Is he flirting? What does 'have you ever really broken the rules mean?" |
t3_315j8h | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [19 M/F] of 1.5 years, she's gaining weight and doesn't seem willing to be healthy | To start off, she's 5'5" or 5'6", and 200 lbs.. To put this in perspective, I'm 5'10", and she's about ten pounds heavier than me.
She's gained about 40 lbs. since we started dating (basically, since she got out of high school). Some of this is my fault - I had similar eating habits, and we'd go out for fast food, etc. pretty commonly in the past. I've been cutting that out of my life as much as possible in the last couple of months, to the point where the only time I eat fast food is when she happens to drop by and delivers it to me. Until the last few days, I'd feel like an asshole to not eat the food she brings because she doesn't have a lot of money in general.
I'm cutting out fast food because it's unhealthy, I've started working out 5-6 times a week, and of course I/we can't afford to keep eating out when I'll be moving out soon.
I know the weight she's at is unhealthy. I've brought this up multiple times, and she'll be hard on herself during and after the conversation, but she won't commit to any kind of workout routine, or to cutting out fast food because she "Doesn't have time" to make her own meals.
I love her, but if she continues to refuse to better her health, I will break up with her. I'm not going to live my life with someone who can't help themselves. I can't **force** her to lose weight, and it's not something I can fix. All I can do is render support to an objective problem, and if she won't fix the problem then we're both shit out of luck. | Girlfriend overweight, refuses to fix it. Not going to stick around if she won't help herself. How do I try to get her to fix it? |
t3_gyctu | weddingplanning | Wedding Photography Contest Help? <3 | Hey Reddit - this is a humble request for help. I've promised to sing a Japanese love song on YouTube if we can pull this off. I'm currently in a 4-way tie in a contest and it ends on the 30th. It's for free wedding photography from an amazingly talented photographer, and I'd love to tell my fiancee we won it. She'd flip. The problem is that we were added as a substitution a week after all other couples had begun gathering votes, so we are the underdogs. We need your help!
If anybody is willing, would you please:
Make sure you're signed into Facebook.
1) Visit and click the FB "Like" button at the top (or the vote won't count).
2) Click the blue navigation bar's contact section at the top and enter only your FB name, your email address (a spam catcher is probably fine - they just need to check your name against FB), and "I am voting for **couple #6!**" in the message box. Ignore all other fields and just hit send.
3) Maybe let me know if you did it so I can alter my vote tally estimate?
We'd would be *super* grateful.
This is a crosspost from /r/favors. If you've got some guidance for me about a more appropriate place to post, I would appreciate it. Apologies if I've violated reddiquette. It's hard to say one person's love story is "better" than another, or that anyone is more "deserving" of the prize. Hopefully you'll think our story is up to snuff. | Help me win this for my fiancee with a 30 sec vote, I'll sing a Japanese love song for you to enjoy if we win. |
t3_4yvnpq | relationships | My(28F) friend(28F) is being abused by her exSO(32ishM). Is there anything I can do to help? | My friend Erica had been in a relationship with Mark for about 10 years. They have a mortgage together and own it 50/50. They have lived in this house about 6 years. They are not married.
Mark has a history of abusive behavior. He has physically assaulted her in the past but she's never pursued having him arrested. He is a convicted felon and has a temper. Their relationship has dwindled down to nothing and they are not together but still living in the same house. This has been this way for about 4 months.
Mark has become very vindictive towards Erica after she has made it clear there's no chance of restoring the relationship. He's been damaging her vehicle and dismantled a part that left her stranded (he is a mechanic). He stole her mail key, her debit card, and maxed out several credit cards they shared. He is kicking the dogs. He is refusing to sell the home and split the cost with her 50/50, which is what they initially agreed on.
At this point Erica is desperate to get out, but she's unable to buy a new home as long as she's on this mortgage. She is struggling to find any place that will rent to someone with pit bulls. She is scared to go home and has been living in her truck. She comes home when he's gone to feed the animals. He's installed cameras in the house to watch her and posted an eviction notice that says she has to move out. She owns several guns and 2 of them are missing. He is telling friends and family on social media that his heart is broken, he's been betrayed, he's done nothing but try to be a good boyfriend and they are supporting him.
What can I do to help? Unfortunately I can't house her and her dogs as I have 7 of my own. Are there any resources that can help her? | My friend has an abusive ex that refuses to work with her on their mortgage. He is trying to kick her out and my friend is afraid and unsure of what to do. |
t3_1dnoo8 | relationship_advice | I [19/m] need some advice on whether or not (and if so how) to get back to together with an ex-girlfriend. | I [19/m] dated a girl (19/f) earlier this year for about a month and we had a ton in common and got along great. Then abruptly (from my perspective) she seemed to start avoiding me so me being the arrogant boy that I am decided "well two can play at that game" and no surprise we stopped talking all together. Now within the past few months we've gotten back in contact and even though its never been more then small talk, its always been friendly and sometimes flirtatious. However Ill get to the point; I really like her and it kills me that we aren't together. She hasn't (to my knowledge) been with anyone since we stopped dating and I (even though I must admit I am a bit biased) feel that she also still likes me. The problem with the situation is she has well known commitment issues (she said so herself) and it was probably the reason she started avoiding me in the first place. I have no idea whether I should make a move, lay all my cards on the table and see how she reacts. Go with the status quo and see if something out of my control changes. Or if I should just try to move on and forget about her.
(any advice would be appreciated and if additional details are needed ask and I'll give them.) | I need advice on what to do about me and an ex with commitment issues. (sounds original and unique I know...) |
t3_3l4tyr | askwomenadvice | How to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace? | Hey everyone.
So I'm here to ask you guys how you all deal with sexual harassment in your workplace. There's a man at my workplace who works at the front desk security and he's always made me a bit uncomfortable. I feel like it's my fault for being too friendly my first 2 weeks there. Today as I was walking past him he stretched his hand out to me in an attempt to touch my hair which was done in a bun today. He made some comment about my bun which I can't even remember. He then pops up on my floor later in the afternoon while I'm at my desk and surprises (and scares me) when he reaches out his arm again says "Come on, let me touch your bun," in a playful manner. I said no and he walks away, but that still left me feeling very uncomfortable.
Am I being harassed? This is the first time he's done something this forward with me. Usually I walk past him every morning, say hello and keep it moving, but I feel like he is always attempting to talk to me or get my attention and this so far is his most direct approach, which caught me off guard.
Am I overreacting? If not, should I report this and what can I expect to happen if I report? I'm a bit paranoid of retaliation of the person I'd be reporting since I have to walk past him and see him literally every weekday morning.
Also, I'm not sure if it's worth noting I work for a state governmental agency.
Thanks in advance. | Security guard invading personal space, makes me uncomfortable, not sure if this is serious enough to be reported for sexual harassment. What to know potential outcomes if/when I report it. |
t3_3fnd1m | relationships | Me [28 M] with my wife [25F], have a great relationship, but received a random blow job from her cousin.. | Throw away account for obvious reasons.
My wife's cousin, about 20 yo, was visiting us for the past 2 weeks.
My wife and I have an awesome sex life, and I have never cheated on her or would do that.
Part of our routine is either a morning BJ or sex, just depends.
So on Sat, I slept in, we were out late friday.
Got my usual BJ, wife leaves, but I had no idea
she went out for some groceries etc.. I slept in,
and her cousin randomly walks into our
room, and starts sucking my dick.
I assumed it is my wife, because it's weekend, etc..
And without my contacts or glasses, I can't see much. I looked down, and hair felt same.
Towards the end, she removes shirt, and makes me grab her tits, and that is when I figured it out.
But at that moment I also came all over her.
Then I pushed her away, asked her what the fuck is her deal, etc..
She said she wants to fuck me, she's a virgin, etc.. Doesn't want to have sex with her boyfriend till she gets practice..
Basically she's fucked in the head.
She has said she won't tell her.
Now, what do I tell my wife? | Wife's cousin spent some time at our house, she gives me blow job while I was sleeping. what do I tell my wife. |
t3_4jvy8x | relationships | I [26 M] want to make sure the relationshkp between myself, my brother [24 M], sister [29 F] isn't ruined like our fathers relationship with his siblings. | My fathers side of the family hates eachother due to drugs, prison and general pettiness. He doesn't talk to his siblings his mother because they are always fighting about something. That being said, I'm more concerned about my generation of the family.
I grew up in a divorced household so I never really think about reaching out to my siblings or parents because I'm used to them not being around, but my sister recently had her first child and called me crying that she missed out on having "real family" (she has a different mother and lives far away). She said she was going to call our brother and dad to tell them the good news, but aparently never did. My brother is upset with her and I feel like my father doesn't want anything to do with her.
I love my dad, but I'm tired of this family drama. I want to start a dialogue between my brother and sister to bring us together so we don't end up as bitter as the rest of our family, but I don't know where to start. Any ideas? | I want to make sure my brother and sister don't end up hating eachother like our aunts and uncles. Help? |
t3_3bg4st | relationships | Me [20 M] with my boyfriend [23 M] 2 years, don't miss my boyfriend? | My boyfriend has been on a vacation with his family for about a week. I feel like it's normal to miss your boyfriend, but I literally don't, like at all. It's not that I don't want him to come back, and I do love him... it's just that I'm really happy to have some alone time?
For context, my mother is actually away too right now, on a longer trip, so I've been completely alone for nearly a week now, and honestly I have enjoyed it very much, and it's made me more excited about my plans to move out in the coming year.
Still, I feel weird, like I should miss my boyfriend (and my mother too?)? Is this necessarily a bad thing? I honestly just don't know. | both my boyfriend and mother are gone away on trip for a week, I am enjoying the alone time and honestly don't miss them. Is this abnormal? |
t3_2latv5 | relationship_advice | [M/24] I have a relatively new GF [F/23] and I'm having trouble dealing with how sexually experienced she is. | I have been dating an incredible girl for about two months, and we've been having a lot of fun together. Last night, during a group discussion with her friends, we got into what was essentially a sexual history 1-Up. There were a few things that got me, and I hate myself for saying this, but they got me jealous. Sex in public, experimenting in group sex, one night stands etc. Nothing too intense, but more than I have done (coming from a background of pretty rote relationships). The fact that she's done these things aren't of concern to me, I just wish with all my might that I could have been there to experience these things with her. On top of this, we've had some great sex, but nothing as close to as adventurous to that sort of thing, which makes me... concerned? I'm not sure.
I tried not to show that this had affected me, but she picked up on it. I sent her a small text after saying goodbye, to apologise for my awkwardness, and to tell her how exhilarating I think her adventurous spirit is - I would never want her to not tell me those things, or to be embarassed or anything like that. I guess my question is this - how do I move past this? | My partner has had some big sexual 'firsts' before meeting me, which makes me frustratingly jealous. Not sure how to frame this so I can move past it. |
t3_2tnwqp | tifu | TIFU By Sending A Dic Pic [NSFW] | About 3 years ago, I made a remark saying, "Suck my 8 inch cock!" My friends called bullshit, and we went on with our lives. Now earlier this year, they brought it up again, saying that I was over-exaggerating. I got really pissed off, and then we blew it off again. This afternoon, at around 4 pm, I read an article that was posted on the front page talking about the average erection sizes. It said 2.5% was 6.9 inches or greater, so I sent that to my friends in a group chat on kik, and they called me out again. I decided enough was enough, and because I was sleep-drunk, I sent a picture of my erect dick to a friend in the group chat through snapchat with a ruler for comparison that lasts 2 seconds. I said check it, and my friend got really worried about it, and still didn't open it. Meanwhile, my other friend calls bullshit on me once again, saying that there is no way that I have an 8 inch FLACCID dick. I was shocked, and asked if he meant erect, and he said no, then he completely believed me. My friend who has the picture won't respond to my messages, but he still hasn't read it. | I sent a picture of my erect dick to my friends trying to prove that it was 8 inches, when it turned out they thought it was 8 inches flaccid |
t3_11b53a | AskReddit | [US Elections] Why bother voting? Do you have real confidence your vote will be actually counted and not be discarded at will by the non-transparent voting machines? How do you know? | News and reports about issues with the voting machines keep popping up, for instance [this] from today.
So why are people even discussing political viewpoints, comparing plans, ripping at each others debate gaffe's and doing the whole election-dance if there's a strong uncertainty on if their vote will be actually counted properly? What are you going to do if the results are debatable but the machine record is the only counter you have?
Why battle over voter registration policy's, district boundary and dirt tactic if the fundamental mechanic of the whole thing is flawed? Why is there not the hugest shit storm ever about this?
note: If you call 'conspiracy theory' then please include why you are so sure this will be no issue.
edit1: spelling
edit2: most replies so far have read only the title up to the first question-mark and miss the point. | why vote if your vote might not be counted (and certainly not re-counted) and how do you handle that? |
t3_1bxvob | self | Trying to raise money for Make-A-Wish Nebraska, will get a tattoo if we break $25,000 | Hello! I would have put this in /r/Assitance, but I'm not the one who needs help. I'm a comic book store owner trying to raise money to benefit Make-A-Wish Nebraska. We're selling door prize tickets to win a copy of Amazing Spider-Man #1 (value $4000). Last year, doing a similar event, we raised over $8000, which is great but I want to raise even more. Which is why this year I've agreed to get [This Tattoo] if we raise over $25,000. All the money raised will go to Make-A-Wish. Please help spread the word or donate if you can. Here's [The Donation Page] Not only are you helping kids, but you'll have a chance to win one of the greatest comics ever printed! Thanks so much for listening. | Raising money for Make-A-Wish, will get a My Little Pony tattoo if we raise over $25,000 |
t3_3374ee | tifu | TIFU by ignoring that a (slightly tanning) moisturizer was for darker skin than mine to begin with | This happened probably about a year or two ago but I just remembered it now. Not super scarring or embarrassing but enough to make me much more cautious about putting things on my face.
Foreword: I'm pale. Very pale. Buying makeup in the right shade is difficult.
So one day I was just casually going through drawers in my bathroom. Most of the things there are my mom's. It's not like I was snooping through her things, they weren't private and I was just bored.
I came across a Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer. Failing to notice where it quite clearly said "DESIGNED FOR MEDIUM SKIN TONES", I excitedly put it all over my face despite the slightly toxic smell. My skin was somewhat dry at the time, so why not try it?
I didn't notice until the next day when I looked in a dressing room mirror that my face was much tanner than the rest of me.
Thinking back on it, it probably couldn't have been that bad considering no one commented and I had applied it just once, but it felt quite obnoxious and noticeable for me at the time. I'm pretty sure it lasted for just a couple days though. | I ignored where a moisturizer explained that it was for darker skin than mine, had a tan face that didn't match the rest of me for a few days. |
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