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t3_32e809 | relationship_advice | I[21F] am confused about my feelings for my long distance ex-partner[23M]? | First time posting here, here's the story. I'm a college student currently in my third year and going to school about 450 miles away from home. While I was back in my hometown, I met this guy, we'll call him A. He was a complete stranger who I just started talking to and we clicked really well. We went on a couples of dates and determined that we both really liked each other and would see where it goes even though I had to leave and go back to college. We both stated that we were serious about each other when I left and called it a long distance relationship.
However, things went rocky after a few months and we broke it off. A told me that he loved me, but we could not be together because we both couldn't give each other what we needed and I agreed with him. He said that in the future we could possibly be together once I move back home, but that will be one year from now and I'm unsure how we would both change in that time. We ended on good terms and agreed that we could still be friends but I asked him to give me some space until I'm ready to be only friends.
The thing is that I'm still struggling with my feelings for him. I don't know how to let go and I'm having a hard time trying to get over it. It's been a few weeks but I'm still confused and I don't want to have lingering feelings once I start to be his friend again. I still want him to be in my life, but I'm unsure what to do because I'm not getting over it and coping as well as I thought I would.
I ultimately know that we will both date people in between the year that I'm still in college but I can't help but still want him in my life. I know that as long as I have these feelings for him, I can't talk to him.
But how do I get over him as a romantic partner when there's a chance we could be together in the future? How do you be friends with someone you love, knowing that you might be good for each other in one year but not now? | Dated ex-partner for a few months, broke up due to long distance and says we could work once I move back in one year. I should move on, but I don't know how? |
t3_x8vhp | AskReddit | In the time that I've lived in my current apartment, roommates have moved out causing my rent to go up almost $200/mo over the course of the year. How have your past roommates fucked you over financially, and how have you coped with it? | There used to be 5 of us living in a 3-br apartment. All of the rooms are really big, so it's totally reasonable to share the space. However, mixed personalities and a break-up have caused two of the girls to move out. The first girl moving out only raised my rent by $70. However, when the 'ex-girlfriend' of my roommate moved out, my rent increased another $130. She offered to pay the increase in my rent because we've been family friends for almost 22 years. As of now, I haven't seen what she owes me for July, and August rent is due in a few days.
Needless to say, working part time as a full time college student makes financial burdens like this even more overwhelming.
What have your roommates done to you in the past and how have you coped with it? | Two girls moved out of my apartment causing my rent to increase almost $200/mo since I started living there. One offered to pay for the increase from her moving out, but I have yet to see any money from her. |
t3_3eqcro | relationship_advice | I [21/f] fell in love with a guy [27/m] who has a girlfriend?! | So about a two month ago I met and instantly fell head over heels for this guy. Cut a long story short, he is my ideal guy and we texted everyday for about a month. After various meetings at our local bar with friends and attending a few parties together, we slept together. About a week or so after that I spent the night at his place and we did nothing but cuddle and chat (I told him no sex until a date, he was fine with it and the night was the most perfect ever!!). Then on planning a date for a few days later he became distant over text and cancelled the date two hours before. Sucky I know! He then stopped texting me completely and ignored the few I sent him, obviously I was totally confused on wtf was going on. Just this week I bumped into him at our local bar where he came up to me and apologized for being an ass and that he had just gotten back together with his on and off again ex of four years, they weren't dating while we were a thing he says but he spent the night continuing coming up to me and dancing and getting defensive if another guy approached me by taking me by the hand and getting mad if another guy even accidentally bumped into me. He kept telling me how beautiful I was and that any guy would be lucky to have me and how he wishes it could be him. He is honestly still the perfect guy in my eyes, and while yes I know this can't continue because he has a girl and while he has broken my heart I can't help him do it to someone else. I don't know what to do?! I compare every guy I meet to him and no-one is on his level, he was literally my perfect guy?! UGH I don't know what to do, any advice on getting over someone who you pictured marrying after knowing them maybe five seconds?! | met a guy/fell in love/got stood up/found out he had a girl/he still showed interest and I'm trying to do the right thing help! |
t3_4mdyx0 | relationships | I (22/f) feeling more and more depressed with bf (23/m) each day... | Hi everyone, I could really use some advise.
So me and my bf have been together for year and 1/2. We've known each other for about 7 years (during and after high school) with on/off dating and just recently started to actually be in a relationship.
After agreeing to fully be with each other, everything was incredible. Moved in together, little to no fights, always got along awesome.
Flash forward to present day, things have changed. After discussing about future plans, what I got out of him is that he doesnt want our own place (we live with HIS friends) and wants things the way it is. No changes, no growth in the relationship whereas I'm the opposite. I want our own place and I want our relationship to progress (realistically of course).
These days he's just been gaming all day everyday, never wanting to go out and do things, extremely lazy and I feel very neglected. I tried to talk to him about feeling ignored and disappointed about not doing things together and he would snap, saying that I "should find something to do, figure it out".
I know he's right in that aspect but I feel like our relationship is slowly turning into a relation-shit and I feel more and more depressed as the day goes by. I'm just not sure what to do anymore and I really don't want this to go down the drain. | Relationship started out great but after time I don't feel the same connection as we did before. I feel neglected and unloved and it's making me depressed. |
t3_1lxgiq | dating_advice | [M23] going out with a [F23]. How do I know when I should end it? | I'm a [M23] and I've been dating a [F23] for almost 2 months now. We met through an online dating website. The first few dates went really well, we took things slow, and by now we've gotten closer physically, but I still feel like something is off.
On paper, we share a lot of interests, and things are great in bed, but on certain days I just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. I fully understand that this is too vague, but I can't narrow it down, and this is why I need help.
We go to concerts and see movies together, but I don't feel like I'm myself around her. What irritates me sometimes too is that we seem to not "get" each other sometimes - like miss each other's jokes or references. But is this just a common issue when people start dating someone new?
I don't have a lot of experience DATING. I've been in serious relationships before, but all of them in high school and college, where we basically got to know each other a little bit (or in some cases became best friends) before being in a relationship. In those cases, by the time I was in a relationship with a girl, we'd be connected at the hip.
I don't understand how DATING someone is supposed to feel. Why do some days I feel totally in love with her, but other days I'm almost embarrassed to be around her? We share so many interests, but sometimes I feel like the chemistry is lacking. I can't make up my mind about her. I don't wanna drag things out for too long, but I also don't want to jump the gun on this and stop seeing her without really giving "us" a chance. | Experienced in relationships, but not at all in dating. Need help knowing when to put an end to seeing a girl. |
t3_4ionxl | relationship_advice | [26/f] Hubby [26/m] got the flu on the worst day & I need to skip town? | This is hardly a serious relationship concern and is far more trivial than most posts here, but I would still appreciate any input. Please forgive me if this isn't the best sub or the right format - my first time here.
Background: I love my husband and we have a wonderful relationship. He is the most patient, considerate individual I've ever met, no exaggeration.
I woke up this morning at 3:30am to drive to the other side of the state to volunteer for a lobbying group I very much would like to be an active member of. Just as I was ready to walk out the door, hubby wakes up coughing, looking miserable. I offered to stay home to play nurse, not expecting him to say yes. He did.
I made him his favorite soup, which he couldn't eat. He clearly hadn't slept well, so I dosed him with NyQuil.
Now he's resting, completely out of it, and I'm tempted to take the bus to join the group. I can still make the scheduled meet up if I leave now. Hubby probably won't even wake up by the time I get back. I hate myself for even considering ditching him like this, but I'd been looking forward to this day for a long time.
Even if he woke up to find me gone, with just a note & soup, he'd never hold it against me, because he's amazing. Would probably text saying he was proud of me to boot.
But I can't decide what the *right* thing to do is. He is, after all, the most important thing in my life.
Help? | Husband is sick, don't want to leave him alone with a fever, but don't want to miss out on great opportunity to do something important, either. |
t3_3qd8zu | tifu | TIFU By Brushing My Best Friend's Ass | So this was actually a couple of months back but I still remember like it was yesterday. So to begin I am a grade 11 black Canadian male and one of my best friends who is also like me goes after the name George. So one one day me and George were just hanging out at lunch, we usually just talk about the most random stuff while we walk through the hallways. It was all going so well till these god damn rowdy freshmen come rushing to avoid being late for the bell. Now our halls are far from being the most roomy so when these guys rush it, it becomes a literal battlefield to get to class, like it takes actual skill to slip through these people and get to class efficiently. Anyway im behind george when this abnormal cumbersome of people are just in the middle of the hallway rapping WITH LITERALLY 30 SECONDS LEFT TILL THE BELL RINGS. The worst part is while they're rapping and the crowd goes wild and pushes straight forward and my hand does a steadily hard push on George's butt. Now were at our classroom at this point and were just there awkwardly staring at each other. "Not a single word", "Agreed" said George and we never spoke about it for the next 2 weeks till....
George's "girl" friend, Vanessa tells me that she saw me touch George's butt and im there freaking out in the middle of the class like "WTF GEORGE WE AGREED TO TELL NO ONE" and he's like " I DIDN'T I SWEAR!" in which we both blankly stare at each other and slowly turn to Vanessa and the entire class in shock. Long story short my school now thinks me and George are a gay couple. | Touched best friend butt by accident, girl somehow jokingly guessed we did, classmates now think i'm in a gay relationship with my best friend. |
t3_28x6ts | relationships | I (21) am separated from my gf (22). And her best friend (23) just asked to have sex with me | So, me and my lady got separated due to lack of time on my part. We both love each other still, but I wasn't able to put time into our relationship with me working full time and going to school. That and a few months back I was diagnosed with mild depression and...well.
Long story short, we have been seperated for a good month now.
Her best friend just came back from college. She has been texting me nonstop, been wanting to hang out with me, and just recently asked if we could go to a bar on friday or saturday night. Normally I'd be fine with it, but she asked if "Could we go to a bar sometime this weekend? I wanna get hammered ;) You drive"
I normally would tell my gf, but it's her best friend. Also, I know my gf is trying the waters, just from the few times we have hung out with each other since the split.
I've already said no, and her best friend says its ok, but she is not taking no for an answer. I just love my girlfriend that I don't want to fuck this up by banging her best friend, and then it gets back to her.... | I am seperated from my lady, and now her best friend wants to fuck me. Her best friend is attractive, but i love my gf. HELP xP |
t3_44j5b6 | relationships | I [17 M] need advice on how to do the transition from good friends to being in a romantic relationship with a girl [16 F] I've known for a while now. | I've known her for 3-4 years now but used to only see her once or twice a year, then last year we both became part if a friendship group with a few other people and we saw each other a lot more often. I've had a crush on her for most of that time but put that aside because I didn't want to risk the damage it could do to my friendship group if it went wrong.
In the last 6 months we've been getting a lot closer and I've decided it might be time to tell her how I feel. We've been meeting up for coffee for the last couple of weeks and its been going great but now I don't really know how to say it. Is it safe to assume that she wants this too? And if so how do I go about doing it? | Been good friends with a girl for a while, started going out for coffee with her a couple of weeks ago, how do I transition from that to being officially in a romantic relationship with her? |
t3_3qqgcz | relationships | Ex girlfriend( F21) wants to stay friends. | It's been 3 weeks since my girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me(M22).The first week I was a mess. I kept messaging her and asking for another chance, I kept looking at her facebook and even showed up at her door once. I guess I was still in denial. The second week I decided to stop talking to her and also stopped using Facebook and any other social media where I would see anything about her. I was doing a little bit better but then she started messaging me and saying she wants to stay friends.
I told her I was still trying to heal and that it wasn't healthy for me to message or talk on the phone with her everyday. She said, " so you would rather not have me in your life at all instead of being my friend?" And I told her that I did want to be friends but that it's hard to go from boyfriend to friend in a few weeks. I still talk to her every now and then and in the moments that I do communicate with her I feel happy. I think she thinks that it's easier to let go of each other gradually and over time, and I understand that it may work for her so I still haven't told her to stop messaging me.
How should I handle this situation? If I tell her to leave me alone and block her she will hate me and I'll lose a good person from my life(it was not an ugly break up ). But if I keep messaging her I'm just making it hard on myself. | Ex girlfriend wants to stay friends because she feels it's easier to move on from the relationship if we have each other to talk. I don't think it's the best way to do it. |
t3_1wk66y | relationships | My best friend [30F] just told me [29F] some really messed up stuff about her relationship with her fiance [30 M] 6 yrs. | My best friend and her fiance have been together for like 6 years and got engaged about 2 years ago. They have always seemed like the perfect couple. A few months ago her brother died very suddenly and it's put some strain on their relationship.
Last night we were drinking some wine and making centerpieces for their wedding (in July) and she begins to tell me about how her and her fiance have begun exploring an open relationship.
About 6 months ago they met a couple who are in an open relationship (who I've never really liked and thought they were kind of creepy). At the time they proposed "swapping" and my friends said thank you but no. She told me about this at the time and we both thought it was kind of weird but whatever.
Well I guess at some point in the last 3 months they have begun actively "switching" partners with this couple. She confessed to me that she has had more sex with this other guy in the last 3 months than her fiance.
There is no cheating. Both couples are adults and know what's going on.
I guess I just can't wrap my head around this. I didn't know what to say as she was telling me this. I just listened and told her that I can't relate and don't really understand why they are doing this.
Today I can't stop thinking about what a terrible idea I think this is. They are preparing to get married and this just seems like a horrible sign. I don't know what to say to her. I love her and her fiance and I respect that they're adults capable of making their own decisions, but I just can't find a way to understand what they're doing.
I guess I'm wondering what you guys think. How do I talk to her about this? Am I being too judgmental or is this as messed up as I think it is? | Friends are engaged and just started swaping with another couple. I think it's really gross, but it's their choice. How do I talk to her about this? Am I being too judgmental? |
t3_54xalw | legaladvice | Unexpected paternity test results (MB, Canada) | My sister and her ex have a son who is almost two. Sister and ex have been on and off since their son was born, and in May broke it off for good. Since then, they have been splitting time with son more or less evenly. There are no court orders, neither party has paid any child support to the other. Yesterday sister got a text from ex. It was a photo of a paternity test that says ex and son are not related. Sister never tried to trap him, in fact I'm sure she would not have had the child if she thought it was anyone other than his. And not that it matters, in a legal sense, but I just feel the need to point out that sister and ex's relationship basically began when he convinced her to keep the baby and start a family with him. This wasn't a baby born out of infidelity. Anyway I guess the hospital estimated the due date wrong and she actually got pregnant a few weeks earlier than the doctors thought. Anyway, I guess what I'm wondering is if he can take her to court to try to get money out of her. I understand it must be an awful thing to raise a child as your own for two years just to find out it's not your child after all. Sister feels awful about the whole thing but she just wants to make sure she's prepared for anything he could potentially throw at her. Thanks. | sister and ex had baby, two years later ex gets paternity test, baby is not his. What could potentially happen now? |
t3_f4llp | relationships | I moved to a new city and have become too dependent on my SO. HEEELLPP!! | This is the person I used to be: Honest and open, excited to meet new people, creative, treated my own time as precious and filled it with a ton of things I enjoyed, I voiced my opinion a lot more and was a lot funnier.
We're both from the same area and since being together have made two moves, the last one wasn't bad at all I made friends and enjoyed my job. I still felt mostly like myself.. Now we are on the third move, we moved here because he got a really good job offer, so I had to leave my awesome job and start fresh in California. Which I didn't mind because I love living by the water. But I feel like a shell of who I used to be. I don't feel confident. I've become clingy in some ways and insecure in most of my actions. I'm mostly uncomfortable and awkward, my behavior is similar to a wet cats.
I don't know what happened to who I used to be? I know I'm still the same person. I feel like it's still in me. I try to tell myself, yea you feel these things and actions calm fears get going get it together but am paralyzed with fear and m mind goes blank when I try to think of things I need to do outside the house.
This is the first time I've openly admitted any of these things. I don't know why. Just doing that has given me some things to think about..
IDK what do you think? | I used to be stoked on life but after a 3rd move in three years I feel awkward and hate life for no reason. |
t3_2a40ol | relationships | I [28M] can't stop thinking about a girl I met at a wedding, but I have a gf [27F] of nearly 2 years, what gives? | I recently attended a wedding of a friend. Was drinking and having fun, my gf wasn't feeling the best and had more of a low key night.
At one point, I was dancing with a group of people, and kept noticing a very attractive woman, who turned out to be a bridesmaid and the groom's (my friend) sister (whom I never met or knew of)
I don't consider myself in any wrong by keeping things fun and not directed at this woman, but a slow song came on and she asked to dance, and I was a bit apprehensive to do so, but my gf came over and I danced with her.
Since then, I can't stop thinking about this girl, who is very attractive and showed some interest in me.
Someone who I know nothing about, a complete stranger and yet, makes me second guess my relationship.
I have no idea how do move forward or why I even feel that way? | Can't stop thinking about a random woman I met yet I'm in a relationship. Why do can't I stop thinking about her and how do I handle this? |
t3_22hpco | relationships | Me [23/f] with my boyfriend [25/m] of almost 3 years. In a very f-ed up situation right now. | My boyfriend and I have been going through complicated times recently. We were together for almost three years and living with each other for two but things have been falling apart for the last year. We broke up maybe two or three months ago but have continued to live together.
Without getting too in depth about our problems because there are many things have been very shitty for both of us for months. So when I found out I was pregnant I freaked out. He's always told me that he desperately wants a family (I don't even think he cares if it's with me he just wants one) so I knew he'd want me to keep it. But I want to go back to school and live my life for myself before any of that. I'm not ready for a kid and it sucks to have to admit this but I don't want one with him.
I made an appointment to take care of it, it's scheduled for tomorrow. But he's been making me feel like shit about myself and the closer it's gotten the more conflicted I feel. I know it's my body but he was half of making it. I feel like I'm ruining his life but I also don't want to ruin my future. I try to tell him he'll find someone that will want the things he does and he'll be happier that way than to just force things but he's been completely irrational, emotional and honestly manipulative of my feelings.
I don't even know what I want to get out of posting this. I just feel so alone, like my life is in pieces and there's no hope of putting it back together. | Boyfriend wants me to keep a baby that I don't want when we're in the middle of a hurtful and irreparable breakup. |
t3_wsxcb | AskReddit | Should I go to the doctors? | So, yesterday I was hanging out with friends and by the end of the night I was feeling really weird and stressed out, a little depressed? I dunno. I decided to leave my friend's house early and it started getting worse. I got into my car and all of a sudden I started hitting myself. I was slapping myself as hard as I could and punching the sides of my head, too. I had no idea why and I was crying hysterically and I just kept hitting myself.
I stopped, drove back to my friend's house because I couldn't even make it out of the community she lives in and she sat with me until I was calm. I was just hysterical and had no idea why I did that. I drove home after that and I was very tired so I went to sleep.
Today, my sister was driving the car and said she found blood spattered all over the windshield and steering wheel. I had no idea I was hitting my head that hard and I didn't wanna tell her I was hitting myself so I said I had a bloody nose and sneezed. But my head's been hurting really bad, not a headache, but pressure from my temples. Should I go to the doctor's? I don't have any health insurance. | I punched myself in the head a lot, apparently bled a bit, and I have a lot of pressure on the sides of my head. Doctor? |
t3_my3l0 | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I get over a girl? | There's a girl in all of my classes except one, and we had an awkward falling out. She started to flirt with me, and it lasted for about 2 months until it was about to get serious. I was trying to ask her out in person, but there were always people around and I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. My friend found out that she was into me, so I kind of asked her out by text. She was busy, so she said another time. Then I find out through facebook (I hate this website now), that she was going to date this other guy. Basically she was manipulating me. So I just stopped talking to her. I still have very strong feelings for her but I can guess that it will never work out between us. | I fell in love with a manipulative girl who is in all my classes and I need to get over her. Help me? |
t3_2tw6nr | personalfinance | Paying for car under parent's name, applying for mortgage. Is it "mine?" (US) | My wife and I are preparing to apply for a mortgage through a pretty excellent local program. Our credit is good (~690-710), but we're right at the maximum accepted debt to income ratio of 45%. A big chunk of this is a $200 car payment on a loan that is under her parent's name. They bought the car, took out the loan, and have everything registered under their names. We "bought" it from them (aka, we agreed to make the payments for them every month).
When we're applying for the mortgage, is this considered our debt or her parents? Again, the car is titled, registered, and the loan is held by them. We make the payments and have paid for the insurance.
If we don't need to claim this, it would make our debt to income percentage look a lot better. I understand that percentage is there for a reason, but we're currently paying a substantial amount more in rent than the mortgage, upkeep, insurance, etc.. would be for the house according to everything we've been able to find, not to mention savings in gas, groceries, and such for moving to a less expensive town. | Parents bought a car, we make their payments. When we apply for a mortgage, is this our debt to claim or theirs? |
t3_2qpff8 | relationship_advice | She [17F] lost her feelings for me [19M] | Hey reddit, I'm not good with feelings and I could use some advice. I'll try to keep it short. I know I have to move on at this point and I'm feeling completely fine now, but I would like to have some advice on this, because we both know we can make it work.
So me and this girl have been dating for 6 months until she finally broke up with me just right before Christmas. We sat down for an hour talked and she finally made her decision clear that she wanted to end the relationship, because she lost her feelings for me.
Yesterday I texted her asking if she was okay, because I saw the day before and she seemed upset about something. She finally admitted that she was too attached to her best friend.
Why did she lose feelings for me?
She put me in second place and put her best friend above me, this made me feel uncomfortable and it made my behavior clingier. This annoyed her and made her lose her feelings. She admitted she was wrong and that she placed her best friend unconsciously above me.
So we were chatting for a while and she admitted that she should've put me in first place and now she has problems with her best friend because her best friend thinks she is being clingy.
She eventually texted me this (translated):
''I would like to have feelings for you with whole my heart, because you truly are the sweetest and most perfect boyfriend..but it's a pity I don't. My friends used to say that I was really lucky with you, because you were always there for me and would bring chocolate if I was sad and such...I'm so sorry I wish we could've spend the holidays together.''
She is the sweetest girl I know and she wouldn't lie about such a thing. And I'm not good with feelings and such but is there a way that she can regain her feelings for me?
I'm unable to ignore her completely (mutual friends, and she occasionally needs me for support), but she liked me how I was more distant. Oh and by the way she wanted to meet up with me next week and I agreed with that.
Has anyone experienced reoccurring feelings? | GF broke up with me. She lost feelings for me although she really would like to have feelings and have a relationship with me. |
t3_n0l2p | AskReddit | What is the wierdest thing involving sex/roomate/college that you ever walked into? | So to start off I created a fake account because my roommate follows reddit and the chick he hooked up with. But there is no way I can't share this story. So here it goes. Hopefully they don't find out.
Me and a few friends throw a Christmas party this past Friday in our dorm. I go back to my room to end the night but my door is locked so naturally I assume my roommate is having sexy times with the girl he has a thing with. So I go to my friends room to hang out for a few hours and eventually come back and just open the door because I am fucking sleepy and rather sleep in my bed. As soon as I open the door my roommate and the girl jump up and say hey and bye and leave immediately. I found it kind of weird but then I just look at the futon and the cover is off and I'm like, that motherfucker jizzed all over the futon. So I'm like whatever and go to bed. I wake up the next morning and start cleaning our room and notice on the ground that there is an empty kleenex box. So once again I assumed he tried to clean the jizz off the futon after sexy times with his girl. But then I look to the trash can and there are tissues covered in blood. Now I am like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? DID HE RAPE HER?? Now I wait for him to wakeup and get back into the normal rhythm of things and then I say, hey man, you might want to clean the trash. Now he is like OH SHIITT I totally forgot that happened last night, I am so sorry you saw all that. I say hey man no problem, but what happened last night? He says, well, we were having sex but all of a sudden she says that it hurt too much and I look down and theres blood everywhere. She got her period while they were having sex. | My roommate was having sex with a girl when during the middle of it she gets her period. Bitch ruins our futon. |
t3_2vr32j | relationships | GF [21F] throwing sentimental things away after I [27M] fucked up while she deployed. Breaking up or coping mechanism? | Back story to the sentimental things is that we have a "gift battle" that started two months in to our (year and a half) long relationship. Usually small, stupid things related to inside jokes or gag gifts, just something to show we were thinking about each other.
Recently, I fucked up pretty badly, but she never got angry at me for it. She said, "it hurts, but I understand, things will get better", etc, making me pretty optimistic that we would work it out.
Then I started noticing some of the gifts started disappearing from her and my place, then the pictures of her on my computer (she knows my password) were gone, then the letters and cards we wrote each other, and then everything of hers from my apartment (chargers, extra brush, etc).
When I talked to her about it she said that she had lost trust in me and the gifts reminded her of how I hurt her. She's in the military, and was raised in the military, so she said "throwing stuff away was cathartic" to her, comparing it to another move [PCS].
Is she just trying to get over our rough patch, or is this her way of making "moving" on from me easier? | Military GF throwing sentimental gifts away and erasing herself from my life after I lost her trust. Breaking up or coping? |
t3_pu028 | AskReddit | I am a 27 year old virgin who gets sexy panic attacks! Need advice. | Years of delusion and fear have made it so whenever I feel even the slightest inkling of "making a move", I start to get intense panic attacks. This has driven me to avoid situations where intimacy would even potentially happen (thus turning the 'late-bloomer' into a 'jesus christ that's a sad dude'). This weekend I'm going to be spending a lot of time with someone I had previously panic-ed and ran away from (after a night of drinking, laughing and dancing I still couldn't stop my body from flipping out when it came time to go home with her). I definitely need therapy, since I have no idea where this even started, but is that necessary? Do I be honest with her? Pretend I'm fine until I faint? (that happened, when I tried to suppress the freak out with alcohol). I'm sick of this label and this hang-up putting my life on hold and I really like this girl. | Reddit, I am a 27yo virgin man who cannot get over his anxieties, I like someone, what do I do? |
t3_2rdpv9 | tifu | TIFU by forgetting to roll my window up at the McDonald's drive-thru | This happened earlier tonight at around 11:30 PM at my favorite nearby McDonald's.
So I was just chilling with my friend at his place when I suddenly get really hungry. Unable to sleep on it, I decide to drive my friend and myself to the nearest McDonald's, and we get in line for the drive-thru. I drive up to the menu and politely tell the lady in the speaker (who sounds very much like a college-aged girl) my order. So far so good.
After ordering, I drive forward a bit, but I can't go all the way to the window to pay because of the cars in front of me, so I'm stuck in line a solid ten feet away from the microphone at the menu I ordered at. My friend quietly comments "she sounds cute," to which I laugh and loudly joke "yeah man, she wants the dick."
Being the stupid teenage guys we are, we laugh at the joke for a bit. When we stop, I take a second to look around, and thats when I realize I left the window open. Fuck.
Then, just as loudly as before (for some stupid reason), I say to my friend "you don't think she heard me, do you?" And my friend, just now seeing that I never rolled the window up, looks at me like I'm dumb as fuck. Which, to his credit, I am.
So I wait in silence for the longest ten seconds of my life, and sure enough the cute-sounding lady on the speaker phone screams "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?"
And when I say screams, I mean she fucking *screeches*. I had no idea those speakers could be so loud.
So, I just sit there for a moment, panicking, and I end up silently turning out of line and noping the fuck out of there, feeling unintelligent as a newborn child and pretty embarrassed while my friend laughs his ass off. Looks like I won't be going to that McDonald's any time soon. | McDonald's worker lady hears me make a non-serious dick joke about her with my friend, expresses her displeasure, and I run like a pussy. |
t3_2ddjku | relationship_advice | Matched With My Best Friend's Ex On Tinder [25/M] | Today when I was doing a bit of tinder matching at lunch to pass the time I came across my best friend's ex-gf. They broke up about 5 years ago, but I remember he was pretty devastated at the time and I think *he may* still have feelings for her.
We sort of all still have mutual friends, so us all seeing each other on occasion was not uncommon. I had always gotten along well with her and felt like there was chemistry there but sort of ignored it based on 'guy code,' I guess.
Anyways, back to the tindering earlier. I come across her on tinder and swipe right because I always swipe right girls I know. I think it's fun to message them and share tinder stories, but I'm usually not interested in pursuing something with someone I already knew but hadn't already pursued. Catch my drift?
So I send a hello message like 'hooooooneeey so glad you didn't swipe me away'
To which she responds 'I'm so glad I saw us match, I think we're looking for the same things and should date <3'
I felt it was a little direct, so I messaged her on facebook, and it was confirmed she does indeed want to date and it wasn't a tinder fake. | Matched with best friend's ex on a dating app. Not sure if should date. Just wondering how things worked out for others in similar situations. |
t3_lyxjb | AskReddit | Reddit, can you help me find a hilarious episode of COPS that I saw a while ago? Trust me, it's worth it. | A few months ago I stumbled back home fairly drunk with some of my friends and in the wee small hours of the morning we watched what I thought was the greatest thing in the history of television. It started out with a house that was clearly on fire, and then panned to an officer, Todd Plowman (I'll never forget that name), banging on some woman's door yelling that her house is on fire and she needs to get out. He starts smashing all of her windows and keeps yelling till this hysterical women comes to the door freaking out, saying she needs to grab her things. Officer Plowman tells her there's no time and gets her out of the house, breathing very hard (him not her). It then cuts to the house on fire, and it becomes very evident that...it's not her house. Dude busted all these windows and scared the shit out of this woman for nothing. All of his cop buddies start laughing at him (including his brother I'm pretty sure) and they go back and laugh even more when they see all the windows he busted out.
What I remember is that his name was Todd Plowman, it was definitely a Texas episode, and that it was in the mid-nineties (I think like 1994-1996). I found this site which I thought would be some help but haven't been able to find anything else: | cop hilariously freaks a woman out by saying her house is on fire when it wasn't even the right house. |
t3_19xoi4 | BreakUps | Is moving on too soon an issue? (X-post from /r/relationships) | Ok I'll make this short.
I [m20] just got out of a 5 year long relationship with my ex [f20]. We broke up about 2weeks ago. She left for the airforce, and it was a mutual breakup. We didnt leave with any harsh feelings towards each other, and I still care about her very much.
Which gets me to my question.
I've been talking a lot with one of my friends I met about a year ago [f21] and I'm finding out her and I have a TON in common. She's a really great person and I've been spending time with her since my ex left me.
Am I an asshole for already getting over my ex? I still care about we but am I moving on too quickly?
I can explain better if needed, I'm just at work so it's hard to get it all down. | I think I'm [m20]moving on much faster from my previous 5 year relationship than I originally thought I would. And I don't want my ex[f20] to hate me. |
t3_39j85t | tifu | TIFU by getting an erection | So this happened a few years ago and I was just reminded of it. So I was sitting with my girlfriend, watching the Superbowl at her place. Her parents were over but not in the same room at the time. Also, I should mention, I had shorts on, not pants (obv. with a t-shirt and boxers).
So me and my gf are sitting close together in the living room, side by side, her hand resting on my leg. A Victoria's Secret commercial comes on and my other head decides it's time to wake up, and it catches my gf's attention as she felt the process take place and she just looks at me, smiles and runs her hand over it at the exact moment her parents walk in with snacks. She panics, moves her hand and moves over, I panic and grab the cushion but they have obviously seen where her hand was. Needless to say, it made for an awkward rest of the day with them assuming we were doing something more than what actually happened. I couldn't look either of her parents in the eyes. A few days later, she tells me her mom told her that she thought she was giving me a handie.
And I remembered it today as I saw another Victoria's Secret commercial just now while watching the NBA finals. I was alone though. | Sitting with gf, saw Victoria's Secret commercial, got hard, gf touched it just as her parents walk in, we both panic and parents assumed we did more. |
t3_355o7m | relationships | Me [late 40s M], wife [40 F] (10 years), we have good times, but: whenever there's a dispute I just want to divorce. What's wrong with me? | As in any relationship there are occasional raised voices over some dispute. She has a tendency to treat me like an idiot and nag in a shouty way; to be fair I often have done something idiotic, but I can't take this shouting, and the criticism is becoming a bit too frequent.
But the real problem here is my reaction to all this: when she shouts at me, I just think: 'no, that's it, I can't live like this, I'm going to divorce.'
So the question is: how can I have a less extreme all-or-nothing reaction to normal relationship bumps? What do I do? And don't suggest therapy, because she views the whole psych-* profession as useless charletans.
HELP! And please answer fast: if she finds out I've posted this, I am toast, so (a) throwaway, and (b) I'll delete it soon. | How to have a less dramatic emotional response to wife stressing me than thinking "I can't live like this, I want a divorce". |
t3_188lbx | relationships | A girl[25 F] that I [30M] have been dating told me she doesn't have romantic feelings for me. She has had them before. We are apparently still dating because maybe they will resurface. Advice? | Length of relationship: 1 month.
I have been dating this girl since early Jan and we have seen each other many times since then. We have slept together twice and have done some third-base stuff but we haven't yet had sex. Recently she said she doesn't feel romantic feelings for me. I pushed further and she said that she still feels physical attraction and she enjoys my company...just no romantic spark. The spark has been there before and it could resurface over time. After a longish talk we agreed to keep seeing each other and see what develops.
After this talk it seemed like she got a lot off her chest, and she seemed much more sweet and affectionate than she did than on the previous date when she was harboring these doubts. I almost felt like her romantic feelings for me resurfaced at this point but I felt it was premature to ask.
My question is this? What do you do in a "wait and see" dating situation such as this, a situation where both partners have physical attraction, share the same values, but one has confessed that romantic feelings aren't (currently) there?
Personally, I feel like I have to see this through, although I am not too optimistic at this point. I may get hurt, but I'd rather deal with that than not knowing if there had been a chance. | Girl I have been dating confessed to not having romantic feelings for me anymore. We are still dating to see if they will resurface. Any advice? |
t3_4jfist | relationships | My [20M] mother does not want my girlfriend [20F] and I to live together. | My gf and I have been dating for 4.5 years now. We are both in college, and we are looking for a place to live in for the next school year. Since we are always at each other's place anyway, we considered getting a place together. It is also significantly cheaper for us to live together than each of us getting our own place. We both decided to talk to each of our parents and while her parents were ok with us living together my mother was not. My mother is very stubborn and difficult to reason with. She does not want us living together because she believes I cannot take care of myself and therefore I shouldn't be living with someone else. she is also afraid of what'll happen if we were to break up. She basically forbid me from going against her will and live with my gf.
Now, my gf is mad at me since I have decided to comply with my mother's wishes in order to prevent a huge fight with my mother. It would be nice to live with my gf, but I do not want my relationship with my mother to be negatively affected.
What should I do?
Just for your information, my college education is not funded at all by mother. I take care of everything with the help of financial aid. | my mother has forbidden me from living with my gf of 4.5 years while in college and now my gf is mad at me for complying with my mother's wishes. |
t3_4xg76n | relationships | My friend [17 F] and her girlfriend [18 F] just broke up because her parent's don't want her "dating a minor" | **I usually lurk pretty hard on Reddit so this is my first post, but my friend is freaking and I didn't know where else to ask for help because she isn't out yet.**
My friend, Ashley and her girlfriend, Jessica, had been dating for a month when Jessica's family moved out of state to be near her college. They've been doing long distance since then, but two days ago Jessica told her parents about the relationship and they got mad because Ashley is a minor. They said they didn't want her dating one, even though Ashley's only six months younger than her.
That night, Jessica got her phone taken and her brother informed Ashley that she was being restricted from using electronics outside of schoolwork (Jessica is living with her parents during college). Then today, Jessica's mom texted Ashley and told her that she should stop sending her messages and that she won't be allowed to talk to her until Jessica moves out and can pay for her on phone, internet access, etc.
Ashley is thinking she should try to talk to her mom and see if they could work something out since the age gap isn't even that big, but the mom is pretty adamant about it. Should she just let it go and move on? | Parents end relationship because one of the girls is a minor (six months younger than 18) and broke off contact between them. |
t3_o5ibq | AskReddit | What have you found out about your family that completely blew you away? | For me, it was my grandfather. He was in the German army during World War II, fought in Stalingrad, was horribly injured when Soviet artillery hit his Panzer yet he still dragged his crew out despite being on fire. That's all he ever told me about his past when I asked about his scars when I was younger. That isn't what blew me away though.
I just got back from Germany last week where I attended his funeral, and there were about forty people ranging from their teens to and a couple my grandfather's age. I had no idea who they were - not family I knew, not friends I knew, and they barely could speak German. Turns out they were the relatives of the family of my grandfather's best friend who happened to be German-Jewish and had flown there from Chicago and Israel. What had happened I learned, was that after Kristallnacht, my grandfather had witnessed the synagogue in his town burn to the ground and his sixteen-year-old brain was afraid things would get worse for his friend and family. He convinced his grandfather (my great-great) to get his friend and his family out of the country. He did, was arrested, and died in custody shortly after.
When I found this out, I was almost knocked on my ass. I had never known that because of my grandfather, and his decision to actually do something about what he was seeing his government do around him, there is another happy family in this world that almost certainly would not have existed. | At grandfather's funeral last week, there was the extended family of a Jewish family he helped escape Germany after Kristallnacht. |
t3_ghtxp | AskReddit | What's the most (physically) painful thing you've experienced? | I was having some trouble with my contact lens while I was at my uncle's house. I had gotten in the habit of just grabbing a bottle of contact solution and sort of using it as eyedrops/eyewash when my contacts were in and felt dry. There was a bottle of contact solution in the medicine cabinet so I picked it up and squeezed a bunch into my eye. I felt an instant blinding pain-- turns out it was an enzyme cleaner/protein remover solution that is never meant to come into contact with eyeballs. I couldn't open my eye for more than half an hour, and it hurt for the rest of the day/night. | I was a doofus and squeezed lens protein remover into my eye instead of eyedrops/contact solution. |
t3_377ptn | relationships | Ex [M 22] flirted with me [F 23] on a night out....how do I deal with this? | He was my only properly serious relationship and we broke up two years ago (he broke up with me). We have barely spoken in that time, in fact the first time we spoke since the breakup was a few months ago for about 5 min, second time we talked was a few weeks ago again for only a few mins.
The other night I was out with friends, I noticed him staring at me a few times during the night, just before he left he came up to me, repeatedly told me I looked fantastic, hugged me, kissed me on the head a few times and was being generally clingy.
I'm really confused by this. And tomorrow I am seeing him at a BBQ (as we both have the same mutual friends). I am also really awkward and don't know what to do about seeing him, because I know I won't be able to avoid being awkward around him...its a trait that's engrained into me.
I just need advice on how to handle the situation - do I ignore him, avoid him, confront him, try and act normal or like nothing happened? I have no feelings for him anymore and am currently dating a fantastic guy (he doesn't know about him) but he has seen me with other guys since our breakup. | Ex of two years came onto me a few days ago. I am socially awkward and don't know how to deal with seeing him tomorrow. |
t3_3dclas | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 1 year 5 months aprox. Break up help | So I have been dating and living with this girl for roughly a year and 5 months. I'm starting to feel like this relationship is more detrimental than a positive thing. I do still think I love the girl but her family is so demanding of me due to her Mother having a disability and her father having passed away.
Going into the relationship I knew that helping her Mother would be a thing we'd have to do but it's gotten to the point that every day were running doing some chore for her. If I ever ask for time for me and her not only does her mother freak out saying she needs this that and the other chore done right now but so does my girlfriend. We fight over it all the time and all this work is effecting my college and my ability to find work.
It's also effected my life with my family. I hardly see them anymore because I'm always being roped into some chore. MY mother is upset with me. I haven't seen my grandparents (who I'm very close with) for 6 months and my dad is disappointed at how I'm letting all this change me.
Any time I try to say no to her or her mother I end up being the bad guy. I get ridiculed and yelled by my girlfriend and her mother talks about how terrible I am to her friends and family so they all dislike me.
I want to break it off but I know she is just trying to help her mother. I just feel guilty leaving her like that. But I know that I can't throw my life away for a relationship that is so demanding of me. Also our lives have become so intertwined that their's going to be a lot of awkward moments when I have to move stuff and such. I know she is going to be hurt and I know it's going to be hard it's just finding the strength words and timing. I just am lost and not even sure I should break it off with her at all. | Grilfriends family super demanding of me and it's messing with my life. I want to break up with her but I don't want to hurt her. |
t3_3o5x20 | personalfinance | 100k Windfall replaced income - sold small business, how can I maximize this money until I can get a new income flowing? | I was recently making about $1300/month from a small business where I was a minority partner. I have a son and a daughter and I am married. We've pinched our expenses to the point where we have been making it on $1200/month, but have also been on Medicaid during this time. Due to some family complications I can't work outside the home so I've been building businesses with some close associates. This wont change and nobody qualifies for disability etc, but I cant just go "get a job" to replace the income.
The major partners Recently sold the business I'd been working on, so I lose that income of 1300 a month, but have 100k to live off until we can get something else going.
Debt wise, I have:
8k debt in credit cards (we transferred the balance and have 6 months left at 0%)
50k @ 5% annually in short term loans (from a parent-in-law who helped us buy our house and to whom we haven't been making payments so the interest has been compounding. We have a great relationship but I don't want finances to sour it.)
A mortgage for 65k @ 4.25%.
I am considering paying off the 50k to the parents and living off the other 50k for a couple of years while we get our new business running.
Some concerns is that we wont qualify for Medicaid anymore, so our costs will probably jump, not sure how much yet.
I'm paying off the credit cards for sure, but I'm not sure if its smart to pay off the PILs yet until I replace our income. Also is Obamacare going to greatly increase my monthly expenses with a family of four? | Got 100k, no income. Need it to last. Which debts to pay, which to hold back on? Also Obamacare=walletdeath? |
t3_2ug6t7 | relationship_advice | I am [19/m] struggling to forget my Ex. | So I was dumped out of a 2.5 years relationship, and it has been 4 months since my break up.
At first we tried to be friends, but it didn't work out as I wanted to be more than friends and she only wanted friendship. I asked her for a second chance around 3 months into the break-up, but she shot me down telling me that she cannot remember anything good from our relationship and that me asking her for a second chance just means that I am pushing her further away. She said it is better if we don't talk for a few months and let things calmed down first. A few days after she left all our group conversations and unfriended me on Facebook. We haven't talked to each other for 1.5 months now.
Recently I heard from a mutual friend that my ex said she can never be friends with me and that she doesn't like me. She also said a couple of mean things to them about me. It broke my heart and all I want to do is to move on and forget about her. However ideas of false hope keeps coming back into my mind and I don't know what to do to forget about her. We go to the same University and I have to see her every day, but we just act as if we were strangers.
I really want to forget about her and move on, but thoughts of possible reconciliation keeps popping up in my mind. Even though she seems like she is avoiding me, I still miss her terribly. | Need to move on from Ex as I realise that I have no chance, but ideas of false hope keeps coming back. Want to learn how to forget her. |
t3_2zoncs | tifu | TIFU by not holding the lift door | I've had countless TIFUs over the years but this one takes the cake... and it just happened.
It started when I decided to take a break from my studies to go for dinner at the shopping mall. I took the train there and I was at floor B2, or the lowest floor in the basement. Since the place I wanted to go to is at the 6th floor, I decided to take the lift. Simple right? When I arrived at the lift area I came across a large group of people who obviously have been waiting for the lift for quite a while. Not long after the lift arrived. I decided to go in first. After all, no one queues for the lifts in my country anyway, and there is ample space for everyone to squeeze in.
Of course, I decided to press the open button to let everyone in. First in, holds the door right? So I was absent mindedly pressing the button when someone was saying "hello? Hello......." . I realised that the door was closing so I was frantically pressing the button thinking it wasn't working. It's only when I looked down when I realized I was pressing the CLOSE button all this while. There was another person in the lift with me at the time and he gave me the "what the fuck are you doing??" look..boy was it an awkward ride to the 6th floor.
Needless to say I did not eat there. I quickly took the stairs back down and gtfo out of the mall ASAP...most probably won't be going there for a while. | went in a lift first, failed to hold the door for like 20-30 people, and even worse, the guy with me probably thought that I was purposely doing it. |
t3_3d6yry | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [21M] of 10 months. How to not be clingy when we're apart? | BF and i have been in different places for 6 of our 10 months together-- last semester he studied abroad while i was at our college, and now we're in different places for the summer (i'm working back home, he's spending the summer at our college).
When i was at school last semester it was easy-- i had friends to hang out with, i play a sport, there were always things happening on campus. now that i'm home for the summer, i have literally nothing to do. i work 9-5 and then i have absolutely nothing to do. i find myself texting him a lot and wanting to skype every night, and i feel very let down if he can't commit that much time to me (a lot of our friends are on campus with him, he has a job too, etc).
i know its not fair for me to want that much of his time but i can't help feeling sad when he can't give it to me. how do i stop being so needy and clingy while we're apart? | i miss my bf a lot and find myself constantly texting and wanting to skype all the time. how do i not do that? |
t3_3sdrtl | relationships | Strangest thing happened to me [21/F] at 0220 last night... | I've mild stress/depression problems. Nighttimes are particularly tough for me.
Last night, while watching The Shining, I realised that my 15 month old relationship with my boyfriend[20/M] is pretty much over. I've begun to feel lonely *in* the relationship. I'm sure he does too.
Anyway, I saw him online at 2 in the night (he'd said goodnight two hours ago, so it struck me odd). I don't know what took over me, I decided to call him up and break it off.
I don't know what to make of this, but as soon as I tapped his name to ask him if he's awake, I got a push notification from my favourite comic The Oatmeal. A comic saying that it's going to be OK.
You can't imagine the sheer *uncanniness* of this happening. I never get push notifications at that time of the night. Needless to say, I didn't call him up. I haven't told him about this. I just needed to get it off my chest.
I should be less impulsive I guess, that's what this omen(?) meant. Too shaken. | Was about to snap. Almost broke up with boyfriend at 2 in the night. Got a notification from The Oatmeal out of the blue at unearthly hour saying "It's going to be OK". |
t3_1mvotg | relationships | Did I[16M] screw up my first "date" with this girl[16F] , or how can I fix it. | Im a very shy/awkward person and wanted to ask this girl out so i went with a group of friends. Well I didnt ask her out on a "date" but i asked her to hang out with me. We went rollerblading and we spent a lot of time after we went to abblebees ate together and then just me and her walked around downtown and it was really fun. This isnt my first "girlfriend" but shes never had one.
When she dropped me off though where it would have been a perfect time to get that first perfect kiss in AND I CHOKED I looked at her and said kinda fast that tonight was really fun and kinda just left...
I didn't ruin this did I? How can I fix this without getting friendzoned really fast, I asked her to hang out tomorrow night just me and her. | Asked girl who to hangout with me, we both kinda knew it was a date, and when the perfect time while leaving to go for the awesome kiss I choked. |
t3_2tl9en | relationships | Me [27 F] with my bf [28 M] 8 years. How do I give him space? Work full time, live together. What can I do? | So we've been living together for 3 years now and we rarely are apart. I get the feeling if I had something to do with my time and I could be out of the house, he might have some time to recharge his batteries and be emotionally or physically open to me again.
Right now I am just a weight around his ankle.
But I am demotivated, tired, stressed and wrung out. I feel irritated that I have to be the one to leave the house and have a hobby.
What should I do? Should I study or see a lot of movies? Will distance even help? I'm not sure.
I just wonder if having separate lives would give us a little more balance. But I don't really have a life and don't know where i'd start.
Has anyone successfully given a guy/girl space and had it benefit their relationship? | We live together and I can't think of any way to distance ourselves to give him a bit of a break from me. |
t3_1xvenu | relationship_advice | BF (26/m) keeps "falling asleep" while we're texting, at very strange hours. Am I just being paranoid? (23/f) | BF and I have been dating almost a year, exclusive for 9 months. We get along great, except I always have this strange feeling something is not "right."
We use a 3rd party messaging app to text and recently at random times ( I'm talking 5 pm, 7 pm, 9 or 6) we will be texting and he'll disappear for hours and text me maybe 1 or 2 AM with, "sorry I fell asleep."
This has happened at least 5-7 x in the past two weeks when it had never happened before in our relationship. I have never known him to take naps, especially during the day.
Am I paranoid to think something else might be up? I just feel really weird about the whole thing and I don't want to come off poorly. But its starting to get me thinking, why this would continuously happen where he wouldn't be available for hours with no excuse. Please help me. | BF keeps claiming he falls asleep whenever he misses my texts, but it happens so frequently (when it previously never did) and makes me wonder... |
t3_jq4m8 | AskReddit | What is the line between being yourself and being loyal to your family/religion/ideology, etc? | Just wondering. I come from a really religious family, and I've recently come to realize that the differences in belief that separate me from them aren't bad, just...*different*. I was just having a conversation with my sister about a Kristan Higgans book ("romance," cheesy, guilty pleasure kind of reading.) and she said how she read one of them once and felt that they were *dirty*. Too much sex and language. She refuses to read the books now because of that (me? I'm quitting them because all of her books are the *same damn thing*. *girl feels lonely and unwanted, chases after men, and **bam** at the end of the story, she gets dream man with rippling muscles* blah blah blah. )
anyway, I wouldn't care, but then my sister said something that made me pause. She says, "Yeah, who reads stuff like that? Who *acts* like that? It just goes to show that people *out there* aren't like *us*. They don't have morals like *we do*."
I completely disagree with her, but history has shown that in my family, arguing with them about anything "moral" or arguing against "how things are done" turns into big guilt-tripping fights. So I just didn't say anything.
What do you guys think?
I know that I don't agree with my family and the religion I grew up with in all aspects. I'd rather think for myself, and can be quite loud-mouthed. But 9 times out of 10, they have the answers provided by them because "this is what christians do" and "this is what God expects." I *hate* it, and it's obvious they expect me to do the same and are disappointed when I opt out of the conversation. | Is being true to yourself more important than keeping peace in your family, fitting in with your religion or ideology, etc? Or vice versa? |
t3_vrkct | relationships | Dont know the best course of action here... | My boyfriend (29) and I (23) have been together just about a year now, and the past 6 weeks of that has been long distance. A few days ago I wrote him a completely out of line (re: very angry) message about something a female friend of his had written on his wall that was completely innocent. He's got a ton of female friends and I let my insecurity get the best of me, which has happened before. I apologized after he replied (also quite angrily) very briefly, but we haven't talked for a few days because of it. I don't know whether I should expand my apology or just let it stand and pretend it didn't happen. | I angrily messaged my bf for something ridiculous. I've apologized, should I apologize again or go on as normal? |
t3_3cmdqy | relationships | I [24F] haven't heard from my family (except one person) in 6 months. I feel like all my important relationships were one-sided and I didn't even know it. | My parents have a lot of issues so as a kid I really clung to other family members who provided a better environment/influence.
My extended family (e.g. aunts, uncles, cousins) has always been very important to me. I moved away to college but have tried hard to keep in touch with everyone. I always send cards (or for the kids, gifts) at birthdays, and I make an effort to talk to most of them at least once a month, whether it's by calling, texting or chatting on Facebook.
I was doing a lot of thinking around January and I realized that I was always the one who called/texted/etc. I felt like maybe I was contacting people too much and that's why they never reached out to me. So I decided to give everyone some space and wait until they called me and wanted to talk.
For the most part it never happened. My grandmother reached out to me several times, as did her husband, but she has passed away. Since then I've heard from her husband many times (he is great) but no one else.
During that time was my birthday and I didn't get a single card or call from anyone in my extended family except for my grandma. I sent out more than 50 birthday cards to extended family last year but not a single one of them thought of me.
I just realized today that it's been more than 6 months since any of them have contacted me. No calls, no texts, no Facebook messages, no anything.
Now it seems like those relationships were always one-sided and I never even realized it. It's one thing when it's one person, but what about when it's pretty much everyone? | I felt like I was always the one trying to keep in touch with family, so I stopped trying to keep in touch. No one reached out to me for six months. What does this mean for these relationships now? |
t3_3ba11o | relationships | I [23M] am having a difficult time breaking it off with my [21F] girlfriend. I care way too much. | So, [here] is my backstory with it all. I tried to work it out with her, but it hasn't gotten any better. I don't know why I spent so much time trying to fix this, our bad times outweigh the good. But, I love the good times that we actually do have.
I went to break up with her today. We talked for four hour about everyone that we were having issues with, and at the end of it, she told me that I would be better off without her and that she would respect my decision if I left. I told her that I was going to leave, and she broke down, got on her hands and knees and begged me to stay. I've never seen anything like this before. I felt terrible and I can't stand to see her like this, but I'm digging myself into a huge hole that is going to be hard to get out of. | I'm honestly thinking I'm a huge softy and I can't stand the sight of my sobbing girlfriend when I go to break up with her. |
t3_4udujb | relationships | Basic marital therapy questions [m40] [f38] | I am a m40 married to an f39. We have had some issues communicating and I am wondering if therapy would be best for us. I have some questions about the basic process. I know that the therapist is supposed to be non biased and teach us how to fight productively. Part of our issues is that my wife is very good at putting on a public face which is part of our issues. She has also told me that we do not need therapy however that I need therapy to get over my issues so I can treat her better and she has not issues. I know I probably also need individuals therapy. I also know that your individual therapist should not be your couples therapist. My question is, during couples therapy does the therapist ever meet with the members of a couple individually or does the couples therapist always meet with the couple as a couple? | My question is, during couples therapy does the therapist ever meet with the members of a couple individually or does the couples therapist always meet with the couple as a couple? |
t3_38gpym | tifu | TIFU by opening vine and corrupting my tablet | So I have the Samsung Note 8.0 which is basically my child. This tablet is the one piece of tech I use most. I use it to text,go on reddit, social media, games, youtube, everything a teenager uses their tablet for.
So a while back I thought it would be a good idea to root my device.
Well the tablet starting flashing black, apps would constantly crash, the tablet would reset all the time and would barely function half the time but I was able to deal with it and still use the tablet. And sometimes if I charged it a certain way almost none of this would happen.
Well today I was on the tablet and decided I would get on Vine. I opened up Vine and then my tablet flashed black and forced me to the lock screen where I saw my favourite background one more time (me and a girl I think fondly of) and then the tablet went black. I tried turning it back on but it gets stuck at the Samsung logo with the error failed to mount /efs. Searched it up and it basically means my tablet's OS is corrupted and it is very difficult to fix. I don't have 300 dollars for a new tablet so I guess I won't be on mobile reddit or texting that girl much this summer. | I opened Vine. Tablet corrupted and is RIP. Can no longer flirt brains out. At least Fallout 4 is announced. |
t3_m6jzv | AskReddit | Girlfriend Conundrum | Dear reddit, before we begin I would like to state that I know what I am currently doing is scummy and wrong, but I am caught up in the situation and trying to get out of it which is why I have come to you.
I have been dating my longtime girlfriend for about 2.5 years and she is the coolest person I know. We get along great, we laugh and have fun, and she is my best friend. She is also the first and only person I have ever had sex with until recently(we'll get to that in a second). Unfortunately, she just doesn't do it for me. I have a very hard time getting turned on, and sex is mediocre at best. I usually feel more satisfied when I take care of myself.
Now recently I ran into a girl that I went to high school with who I used to have the biggest crush on. I could tell she was interested, and asked if I wanted to catch up sometime so I said yes. We ended up talking and hanging out a few times, and eventually we ended up having sex. Now this sex was amazing, the best I've ever had. It was totally different from anything I've ever experienced. I'm talking about hours on end sex. However, this girl isn't really my type. She isn't into anything I'm into and we don't really get along very well if we get too deep into conversation.
I feel like a scumbag, but I can't help but keep going back to her for more sex. We basically have a silent agreement that neither of us want a relationship, but the sex is so good that we continue to use one another.
What should I do? Should I dump my best friend and girl of 2+ years because I get nothing out of the sex? Should I tell my girlfriend about what has happened and try to make things right? Should I drop them both and try to find someone that satisfies all my needs? | I have a best friend I've dated for years that is bad in bed and a girl I don't like that is amazing in the sack. What should I do? |
t3_fltnd | AskReddit | Reddit, should I forgive and forget? | So, there's this girl at my work that, a few months ago, asked for my number. She didn't text me for a little while so I decided to be a little aggressive (which is outside of my comfort zone) and get hers. She gave it to me and we started hanging out all the time. Now, one night about a month or so in I made a move and she said she just wanted to be friends and that she just didn't see the chemistry between us. I was cool with that and started to move on. However, she started inviting herself to my activities and even started sleeping over at my apartment. (I offered the bed of course, but she would decline) I've never dealt with a girl like this before so it was new territory.
Naturally, I turned to a good friend of mine for advice. Fast forward a few weeks and we all decide to get drunk together at my apartment. My good friend is seemingly buzzed and so is she. They start flirting and
what not. He ends up pulling her aside to figure out if she's just messing with me. She says "No, we're friends." and he proceeds to hit on her. They are now pretty much dating.
Now, I was supposed to move in with this guy and I'm not sure if I want to because of this. He broke up with his girlfriend a day before hitting on this girl. And the only reason he did that was so he could move in with me. (he had been planning on doing it anyway, but he couldn't move without a roommate) | Friend, who I'm supposed to be rooming got drunk and hit on the girl who was sending me mixed signals knowing how I felt about her. |
t3_4djm2o | relationships | Wife [31 F] of 11 years told Me [31 M] she doesnt love me anymore. We have a 5 year old boy, What do i do? | I am a wreck even though i try not to show it. 2 weeks ago my wife told me she doesn't love me anymore.
She tells me its because i am never home which i admit is true, I have been working a lot the past 3 years, full time job plus managing a business.
I am in love with her and treasure her but i didn't show it, i allowed her to carry the burden of our home alone and as she withdrew from me. We grew distant from each other in the last 6 - 8 months, until she finally admitted it 2 weeks ago.
I want to work at our marriage and am willing to make changes but she says she has nothing left for me.
Her demeanor towards me however has been bordering on hostile, she gets angry when i try to talk to her about 'us' and when i try to hug her she forcefully pushes my hand away. This confuses me a bit as she says she cant bring herself to care about me yet her actions seem like to punish me.
I have been home more now (as much as i can), and i try to do nice things. I wake up early and do the chores, make breakfast. I write little notes telling her i am there for her and hide it in her purse to find and also surprised her with flowers which got me a lukewarm reaction.
She still doesn't let me hold her or be with her and i am getting to the point where i do not know what else i can do anymore. She doesn't want anything to do with me but says she wants to stay married for our son.
I however feel i cant bear it, waking up not being able to hold and kiss my wife then coming home to a wife who doesn't want me at all. Do i leave? but i cant bear the thought of leaving my 5 year old boy. | Wife doesnt love me but i love her, we have a 5 year old boy that i want to stay for but cant bear not being loved by my wife. |
t3_1tv07r | offmychest | I'm so sorry for what I said. | My cat has been acting up recently and we got in a fight. And he scratched my face and I said some pretty mean things. Cleo, my male cat, had been living indoors for two months now and he was starting to get depressed and did things out of anger towards being kept inside. But Cleo always got in fights when he was outside and I was looking for what was best for him. Yesterday I had dealt with him for too long so we put him out side on a halter and a leash which only made him angrier. Then I decided I needed to let him go. I thought about letting him go at the dumpsters or at my best friends house in the woods. But when I let him go I told him to run away. And he did. And he got hit by a car and killed. So when I was leaving home today I saw him on the side of the road and I had my friend pull over I ran over to his dead body and cried so hard I couldn't see anything through my tears. I was barely able to call my sister to come get his body. Now I am not only mad at Cleo's behavior but mad at myself for the things I said to him and the fact that the last thing I said to him was about the opposite of I love you. So here I lay crying because I made a mistake that got him killed and I feel horrible and have no one to talk to. Cleo I love you and mommy is so sorry. | My cat was hit by a car and killed after I told him to run away and I feel like a horrible human being. |
t3_zynn3 | relationships | My best friend (M24) asked me out on a date. I (F23) don't feel that way about him. Now I feel guilty. How can I fix this? | I have known him for 4 years and recently he asked me out on a date. I knew he liked me but it was kinda out of nowhere. He has been my best friend and I can tell him anything. He has always been like a brother to me. For some reason other people we know think that we would be perfect together. I don't feel the same way. I keep getting this guilty feeling when I talk to other guys or think of the future. So basically I am asking how can I stop feeling guilty. And most importantly how can I move past this and keep being friends. I feel so awkward now. | Friend asked me out on a date. I don't feel the same way. Now its awkward and I feel guilty. |
t3_338qlr | relationships | My [30F] wife is upset about my [35M] innocent friendship with female colleague; I think my wife is being paranoid | *(Throwaway because my spouse knows I use Reddit)*
Some context to start: I have my own business, and I need to correspond with both men and women on a regular basis. I've formed a friendship with one person in particular because we share a common, and very niche, interest in film. We chit-chat almost every day, 99% of it about film. I don't talk to her on the phone or email; only on Facebook messaging.
This weekend, my wife had to use my laptop, and she saw that this friend had messaged me. She instantly became suspicious and scrolled through the messages I had with said friend. What upset her most, according to her, was the volume of the messages: we message each other almost every day, so we've amassed over 1k messages. Again, all about film. My wife argued that the frequency of the messages concerns her, as well.
Even though my wife admits that the messages are innocuous, she wants me to end this friendship because she believes the contact is "inappropriate because we're married and have a child together", her words. It doesn't help that my friend is 14 years younger than me, but I fail to see the relevance of this since we only talk about film and not much else. She has accused me of "opening a door" to something that could evolve to an affair/cheating, but I would never, ever take it there.
I've never cheated on my wife, nor given her a reason to doubt my fidelity to her, but she gets irrationally jealous about things like this. I've ended or cut-down on other female friendships because of her reaction to them.
I don't feel like I'm in the wrong here, but maybe I am? My gut instinct is to continue the friendship without my wife knowing, but I think that makes me look guilty because I'd be hiding something--but I'm not guilty about something 100% innocent!
What should I do? Is my wife being irrational? Or should I end the friendship and resent my wife for it? | I have a female friend whom my wife is irrationally jealous of; I don't want nor feel the need to give up that friendship. |
t3_2e2c2r | Advice | Feeling directionless and in a rut, what to study? | My grammar is horrible so apologies in advance
I've just turned 20 and I realised I really need to go to university to get employment, otherwise I'll forever be in crappy jobs (like I am now).
Trying to decide on uni courses, I would love to do something with health to give back to the community. Unfortunately I don't have any chem or human bio background, my maths is appalling and I feel if I did enroll into a course like physio or nutrition I would just crash and burn.
Other than health I'm interested in design/illustration, I used to be really creative and love drawing but last year I suffered a lot emotionally and just stopped drawing and can't seem to get back into it. I think if I took up graphic design I could get into the swing of things, plus learning to draw would probably make me a lot happier. But also, if I did pursue a career in design I don't think it would support me all that well, I would love to be successful (prove people wrong about me).
It's really frustrating though, one uni has a really good bridging course that cost thousands of dollars but guaranteed place at campus. The other uni has a free bridging course but isn't as helpful. | Can't decide on Uni. One pathway I would enjoy and understand but won't help so much career wise, other path would offer careers but studying I'll crash and burn. |
t3_2t5i2s | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Step-Mother [40 F] of 3 years, is stubborn and will not listen to reason. | My step mum is being very stubborn with the idea of Wi-Fi. I chew through quite a bit of data on my phone and my girlfriend comes over frequently and uses her phone and laptop a lot. All using up data. We recently got a new modem with Wi-Fi capability and my step mum refuses to let us set it up or give us the password.
Her reasoning started as that it will let people hack into it. After my step mum realised that was false she moved onto the argument that we will use more internet. This isn't a problem as we are quite a wealthy family, I pay board that covers internet usage and most of all it wouldn't use that much download anyway.
This is becoming a problem due to the fact that now I am paying more on my phone plan to use data. (checking e-mails, facebook emssages and things of that nature.) When we have a perfectly good, easy to set up and use, secure wi-fi capabilities at our ready.
Overall she is just being stubborn and does not want to be wrong about this. How do I go about convincing her that wi-fi is not only a good idea but a more efficient one? | Step-mum is too stubborn to let me set up wi-fi on our new modem for ridiculous reasons even though it is covered in the board money that I pay. |
t3_34c0gc | relationships | I (14M) have fallen in love with my best friend (16F), but I don't know what to do. | This is a really hard thing to talk about, since I don't really know what to say. First, I should say that we get along very well. We talk all the time through texts and whatnot, but I still don't know if it's a farce or she legitimately enjoys my friendship. Some days she smiles all the time and we talk all day, but others she won't even look at me.
Even better, we recently had this text conversation:
(We just exchanged small talk for a bit, I'll leave that out)
Me:Hey, can I ask you a strange question (this is me trying to be careful, because I'm not the first person to ask her this, not by a long shot)?
Her: Yeah, what?
Me: Would you like to go see a movie or something later?
Her: I'm sorry, I can't. I'm doing something with *her friend* later.
Me:That's fine. Maybe later?
Her: Yeah maybe, but I'm really busy lately.
Me: OK, that sounds great!
*convo continues, she's nice throughout the whole thing*
Even with this, she's just been acting like nothing happened the past week (it's been a week since this text). Everything is eerily normal, even the daily cycle between being my friend and ignoring me. I think I should ask her if she's available this weekend, but I'm scared. She really is my best friend, and I don't want to mess it up.
Another problem, I'm not the only person who likes her. She's absolutely gorgeous, and she's a cheerleader, so of course how could I assume that I'd even be in her league. But she's incredibly smart, and she's funny, and her personality is amazing. I can't imagine living life without her, but I'm scared I might mess up. Reddit, please help me. | Best friend of mine gives dodgy answer to question about going on a date, but the days after are totally normal, and that scares me. |
t3_25ddsk | relationships | My ex [m 26] only wants me [f 22] for sex | I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I am pretty skilled in the bedroom so I can understand that even though our relationship is at the end and he wants to see other women... he would still want me physically just not emotionally.
I am in love with him and he loves me but doesn't want to lead me on and think he wants to further our relationship.
Since we both enjoy each other's company would it be right to see each other? It's hard to resist because we have so much chemistry and have been seeing each other off and on for seven years so we're comfortable with each other. | my off and on ex bf of 7 years and I broke up and still want to casually sleep with each other and I don't know if it's a good idea or not. |
t3_2opvty | relationships | My [21F] fiance[24 M] of three years broke up with me during finals week and idk how to handle it. | So we were together for almost three years, engaged for six months. I live with him. We've been going through a rough patch this semester because he said I don't pay enough attention to him. I attribute this to me being ridiculously busy with schoolwork and I got upset at this, mostly because I'm working my ass off. He threatens to break up with me on multiple occasions, and the last time he did, I said okay we're done.
He protested. We agreed to work on things over Thanksgiving break when we didn't have anything to do. Everything went splendidly. We were happier than we've been all semester.
On Saturday morning after Thanksgiving, he calls me and breaks up with me. I was staying at my mom's house and he was at our apartment.
Last week I had lots of projects due, but I moped around for one day and that led to me being incredibly behind all week and most of my projects I turned in were sub-par.
Now I'm trying to study for finals and I'm just very upset. Any advice for concentrating/coping? It doesn't help that I'm staying in a house that is strange to me. If I stay at the apartment I share with him, I'll just lay around all day crying.
I am very thankful for my acquaintances (now friends I suppose) for letting me use their spare room and futon. It definitely helps, but going from sharing a big comfy bed with someone you love very much to sleeping on a futon with nobody. | Long-term boyfriend broke up with me over the phone during finals week and my grades are suffering. Advice would be appreciated. |
t3_3dxu1g | relationships | I [22 M] have never had a relationship. Basic advice required to get me started! | I had bad self-esteem issues as a teenager. A lack of close friendships and fear of rejection is not an attractive proposition. I was naive to think the intimacy of a relationship would solve my problems.
I've taken my time to like my own skin but I'm finally there and going places. I'm entering my final year at medical school and am the happiest I've been in a long time. I'm curious to find out what all the fuss is about and want a relationship for the experience more than anything else.
I feels it's important to divulge that I am pretty nerdy and kooky. Yet I look after my appearance and have decent communication skills. I realise that I compromised myself too much in the past so I focus on being what makes me happy rather than what I think women want.
I have a lot of "catching up" to do in terms of developing the simplest of skills to express my interest to a woman or recognising interest from a woman. I've no problems in asking girls out or for their number face to face which is a start.
I've never got the hang of flirting. I am absolutely clueless on the conversational and physical boundaries during flirting so I just don't do it. Most women probably think I'm completely uninterested. I'd prefer that than be known as a creepy nerd.
What are the boundaries I need to be aware of? It really doesn't come naturally so I'm going to have to practice.
I find it incredibly difficult to notice subtle signs of interest from women. I can recognise obvious signs of non-interest. Should I bother looking for them in the first place?
I'm quite busy at medical school and have to do quite a bit of travelling. Any advice on places to meet young single women for dating? | I'm looking for practical advice for the basics of flirting and body language. Also interested in ideas for meeting young single women while managing a difficult work/life balance. |
t3_4fehdz | relationships | Me [16F] with my college professors [above 40], how to talk with them about missing class because of depression. | So this is my second semester at my college. The first semester I did great with attendance and got A's in most of my classes. This semester I did fine until about 2 weeks ago when I hit an awful low point with my depression and skipped my classes for 2 weeks.
I feel like shit for skipping.I want to talk with my professors about it; I'm just not sure how to go about doing that.
I know it's shitty of me to skip class and I should have held myself to a higher standard. I want them to know I'm not trying to make excuses and that I actually enjoy they're classes; I just had a breakdown and dealt with it the wrong way. I'm going to go in during their office hours and talk to them about assignments and things but I don't know how to approach the topic of my depression and how much of it should I tell them about/ if I should say it at all. | I have missed class for 2 weeks and want to know how to tell my professors that I'm a shit show of depression. |
t3_2q0u59 | relationships | Me [31M] with my GF [29 F] 1 year. She has a memory that's starting to become a problem. | Everyone forgets things. I couldn't care less about that. Although she is consistently forgetful, the real problem is that she incorrectly recalls events.
For example, yesterday we did a puzzle together. Today she mentioned how much more she thought she pieced together. I can't remember how all 500 pieces, but she went as far as to claim several things I clearly remember doing. I disagree and she gets angry. This leads to fights.
Do I give a shit about a puzzle? Not at all. But this happens often. She claims chores I did, paying for things she didn't, etc. At first I would brush things off because I'd give her the benefit of the doubt since she was so certain. But I started to be more vigilant and I see the pattern.
She told me when we first started dating she had a bad memory, but with her pridefulness she doesn't admit things in the moment. I've tried to talk to her several ways and times about it. She turns it into finger pointing and a 'he said, she said' kind of fight devolves. In top of that she is adamant the her version of events on completely and infallibly correct.
It compounds into when we fight about other things. She recalls things differently. Let me admit I don't know something and everything I say is undermined.
Has anyone dealt with this? Know a way to deal with it effectively? | GF has a shaky memory, generates recollections that're incorrect. What can I do before I have to upgrade her hard drive? |
t3_47h6ib | relationships | Me [30F] with my ex [24M] 5 years, toxic relationship | This was a terrible on-again off-again "relationship." In reality we were only together about 6 months in the beginning and after a 5 month break, I became "the other girl" for the following 4 years with some other breaks. He is young and can't make decisions.... and I am controlling which eventually pushes him away. I hate being the other girl. He's afraid his friends won't approve so he has hidden me for these 4 years. I feel so broken inside and I feel like I'll never find better. I do love him. But I think it's over for good now. I told his new, current gf about me.... He hates me. Like he should. I am told that I am not his real gf and I should just get lost-- I have no right to interrupt his life. Can I ever move on? Should I take this as a break so he can mature without me? | I'm the other girl gone through 4 years and his 3 "real relationships." If he ever talks to me again, should I treat this like a 'Harry met Sally' thing or should I give up the vicious cycle? |
t3_2yajwn | Parenting | To the woman I accidentally took a picture of while she was breastfeeding... I'm soooo sorry! | I'm hoping that the mom/someone who knows her sees this.
I was at the Westfield Topanga Mall in Woodland Hills CA for lunch today with my son. We were chowing down on Hot Dogs on a stick. A couple came up to the table next to us with newborn triplets! I was in awe. She started breastfeeding and I stopped gawking at the kids so she wouldn't add me to the list of people giving her looks for breastfeeding in public.
I am totally in support breastfeeding in public by the way. No one should have to feel shame about feeding their child wherever they like, and to the jerks who say to go to the bathroom: Do you eat in the bathroom? but I digress.
We were finishing up and I wanted to take a picture of his empty sticks to show off to my wife. I brag that he eats better with dad. I took the pic and sent it off. Wife replies that a woman was looking right at the camera in the background.
I was totally mortified. This poor woman who has probably endured too many looks from people, taking care of triplets in the mall thinks i'm the worst kind of person. I'm not! I swear! I'm sorry.
I didn't get my wife's response until we were in the parking lot. I came running back hoping to find her and apologize, but she was already gone.
As an aside, i normally keep my flash off, but it was on for this pic, so it was blatantly obvious that i was taking a pic.
So, anyway, if you are or know a mom of newborn triplets in the San Fernando Valley please accept my apologies. I'll buy you some hot dogs on a stick to make up for it, and I promise I'm not a creep.
I can't get it out of my head so it's now here to at least get it off my chest. | Took a pic of food, accidentally took a pic of breastfeeding mom. She knows, but doesn't know it was an accident. Feel like shit. |
t3_3ybqwx | relationships | I'm (28F) gonna dump my boyfriend (29M) but I have to wait two weeks, Help | Sorry I'm pretty drunk so I make no sense. We've been together for two years and i don't think he's cheated but I know he's lied about a lot of stuff. The tickets for me to see him are booked and ok I can abandon them but he lives near my good friends and I wanna see them. So yeah I have to act like I wanna be with him and then dump him in two weeks. Guessing I'm just looking for advise in general. As I said, I'm totally smashed right now after finding out what he'd been up to with other girls. Oh yeah I also wanna go get my stuff back from his place. Lots of expensive shit I left there. Which I found with a thong that wasn't mine. I hate him and he can tell, I'm scared he's gonna physically hurt me again so I do need to pretend. | I'm so drunk but my boyfriend is scum and I need to stay with him for two weeks til I can get my shit back. I don't make any sense cos I am fucked off my face |
t3_2z0idj | relationships | Me [25F] with everyone else. I don't feel anger and get really upset when others do. Insight, please. | This is a general difficulty in my interactions with my friends but a good example happened today.
I friend did me a favor by lending me something important yesterday and we arranged for him to get it back today at a specific place I planned to be most of the day, but at a non-specific time. This was an item needed for him to complete a certain task. Basically a super unfortunate combination of me messing, my roommate having a mental breakdown, and communication being diffult since I have no internet at my appartment and my phone was stolen last week ends up with him getting the item three hours later than he preferred and waiting outside the building for me to open the door for 15 mins since I didn't see his email. Super annoying and frustrating for him - I totally understand that, and feel super sad I let him down and apologized profously. I do not, however understand his anger and in general have a problem relating to this feeling. If the roles were reversed I'd have felt sadness instead - like he was letting me down as a friend.
For me to feel angry someone seriously has to do me a great injustice with malicous intent. Other feelings (love, hapiness, sadness and so on) I understand and feel just fine - maybe even stronger than most. But I seriously cannot remember the last time I was angry at a person - I just get sad instead. Therefore I assume subconciously that people will hate me forever and never want to speak to me again when they treat me with anger, which is unsurprisingly rather hard to deal with.
So I guess I'd like some input to understand what it is like to feel anger more often. Why does it bother people so much and why do thay react outward with anger instead of inward with sadness? And most importantly how does it stop, and when? | I never feel anger and get confused/upset when my friends do - not because it is unjustified but because I feel they will hate me forever. How does this angry-feeling work? |
t3_4a726p | relationships | [19 F] I wish I had friends. | Whenever I think about it, life is so beautiful! People can be mean but they can also form great connections and have amazing experiences together. I imagine myself, someday, having a few friends over for a sleepover, or going out to a restaurant with buddies.
Problem is, my boyfriend [22 M] of 1 year and his friends are pretty much my only source of human interaction, besides work. When I go to school(uni), even in acting classes and interactive group classes, I only talk to people about class and whatever. I don't really hang out with people. My boyfriend's friends have been around much longer than I have, so it's not weird for them to be over. But for me I don't have anyone I would be comfortable going out with or inviting over. I feel so pressured and awkward all the time. As a side note guy friends are out of the question. For myself, day to day, my bf and his friends are all i need to fulfill my need to socialize...but I would like friends of my own, too. Its hard to hang out with people or join clubs at school because i commute, and it takes me about 2 hours to get home, and most of the time i work after school so i have to leave right away. Im also very lazy and its hard to encourage myself to talk to people i dont know well on a consistent basis. With my boyfriend its different, since i know him so well and dont have to worry about what im saying or how im acting.
I am an alcoholic and have had good experiences at AA meetings at my school with people my age, but all the ones in the area where i live are for older people (and most are in Spanish anyways). I am interested in joining yoga clubs and such in my area but I dont have a set schedule, and i would also like to make friends close to my age range...and its also pretty hard to do anything that my boyfriend doesnt know every single detail about. | I am awkward and talk to mostly just my boyfriend. At school I dont have much time to hang out because I commute and have to leave right after class. What should i do? |
t3_1ugm7b | personalfinance | What is the best type of account to set up for someone else in the event their income is cut off? | Hi, guys. I know I ask you a lot of questions but I'm still learning. Thanks for your patience.
Background: My mother and father split up and now my father is remarried. My mother is disabled but receives few benefits because dad also pays her alimony. There is absolutely NO possibility of her working ever again. I live with her and help her.
Anyway, so I went to see my brother this past weekend. We discussed our dad and how he is aging. He is aging very poorly and doesn't care for himself (despite the fact that his new wife is a nurse) and I live under the very real fear that he will soon have a heart attack. My brother said that if dad dies he will fight (in court) our step-mother to give mom what he can get. I believe, however, that dad has tied up the money in such a way that if he dies, mom's income stops and we have no recourse.
Of course, she would receive some money in disability payments but that would take time and it would be meager. Also, she has already managed to run up some debt. I had an idea that I would start some sort of savings for her.
Is a general savings account best in this situation or should I look to something else? I'm very new to the world of finance so I'm unsure of my options.
How much should I put in the account? | In the event my disabled mother's alimony stops I want to set up an account to give her some sort of money to live one until things get sorted. What account should I set up and how much should be in it? |
t3_3sbnot | relationships | I (27,F) started dating a guy (21,M) with a complicated connection to my life and now am wondering the best way to tell my best friend (34,F) | Since my divorce 4 years ago I've avoided relationships like the plague. Instead I focused more on FWB and FBs. My best friend, let's call her Sheila, knows pretty much everything about my sex life, except for what has happened in the past month. Sheila has a daughter of 19. Her daughter gave birth to her son a few months ago. Let's call the father of the baby Jared.
Now to the complicated part. Jared broke up with Sheila's daughter a few months ago. About a month ago Jared started making passes at me. Apparently he'd had a thing for me for years and I just never knew it. At first I said no friggin way. It was never going to happen... Yet, when someone seems to really like you and persists eventually it starts to make an impression. Jared made an impression on me and, despite my better judgement, we hooked up.
From the first time we hooked up there was something different about Jared and I knew I was screwed. According to him he's been doing everything he can to get me to fall for him (he says he already felt that way). So, I started to see him in a new light and over the past month we've moved beyond a typical FWB situation. In fact, for the first time in years I could see myself in a typical relationship. Everything about the situation is wrong. I don't like younger guys. He's the baby daddy of my best friends daughter. I've never even considered him an option before. Still, you can't always help it when your head and heart say two different things....
So now I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to lose my best friend but I can't figure out a way to tell her that this won't destroy our friendship. I don't want to lose Jared because it's been a long time since I've felt this way. I feel like even allowing this to happen, at all, let alone as far as it has, makes me a terrible person. Is there anyway to salvage this cluster fuck I've created? | Hooked up with my best friend's daughter's baby daddy and caught the feels. Now I don't know what to do without screwing everything up and losing someone I care about. |
t3_1mxh4l | relationships | 20F trying to overcome insecurity problems with 21M | So, I 21F have some insecurity problems in relationships. I don't really want to go into my past too much. But I've never had anyone truly love me like my boyfriend does. I've been through a lot of different types of abuse in other relationships all my life, including relationships with my parents. My boyfriend and I have had problems that lead me to feel insecure about our relationship. He worked on what he did, and now I just know that he truly loves me and is sincere about not doing anything with anyone else or to mess up our relationship. I don't want my insecurities to ruin this relationship. I struggle with anxiety as well. I should add we also just lost two different children in two miscarriages back to back. And I've been really emotional on top of everything. What I want to know is what are some ways others have dealt with insecurity and overcoming that. && trust. I want to work on those aspects as he has worked on the things that caused them within our relationship. I love him so please no one saying end this. | Due to relationship issues, ours and abusive previous relationships, I struggle with trust and insecurity. What are ways others have overcome them? |
t3_150knc | relationship_advice | [18/m] I don't know what to do with her [17/f] | Hey guys I am back again (last post [ ])
So 2 months ago she broke up with me using the line "I just don't have time for you anymore" which hurt because i told her I'd stay with her through all the harsh times. Then the next day she emailed me saying the actual reason she broke up with me is cause I "stopped caring and only wanted sex" which was also an untrue assumption she made. Over the 2 month from the break up and now she has been telling me things like "Let's start over and talk as if we were gonna start dating" and "Don't get your hopes up too high cause I'm not sure if we're even gonna go out again".
Now lets skip everything to where we are now. While she was at the airport I told her "While you're over there in Mexico you should just let whatever we have go away. When you graduate, you'll be able to move on and start yourself a new happier life. What we have/had is part of your past and you can't bring it into your new life. I'll always be your best friend and your shoulder to cry on." I was hesitant to send the text but i sent it anyways and her reply was "I don't want what we have to be gone. I just don't know my feelings for you, I'm confused about you but deep down I know that I want a real relationship with you."
I need the help of you lovely females on here to help me understand a bit of what she means. | ex [17/f] giving me mixed signals since break up and when i suggest letting the feelings for each other die she tells me that she is confused about me but knows she still wants a relationship with me |
t3_47r5x4 | relationships | I [22F] have met someone [22M] but do not want anything serious; to date or not to date? | Background information: Was in a long-term 4 year relationship that ended because I did not see a future with him, entered a 2 month FWB situation right after the breakup that ended because I got too attached and couldn't separate my feelings from sex. That's all good now though because he's now one of my closest friends, traveling partner, and roomie.
Currently: After being one year+ single, I decided to get on Tinder for fun. After thousands of swipes and some matches, I finally have met someone I would like to date. However, he has been 4 years single and mentioned a serious relationship would be nice to have.
I, on the other hand, am not looking for anything serious because I am doing clinical rotations for graduate school that are out of state and am planning to move across the country to the west coast after graduation in a year. Plus lots of other reasons; I just don't want to be tied down.
Dilemma: should I go ahead and meet this new guy and date him and see how things go knowing that I have trouble with casual relationships? Or should I stop now before any feelings get involved? | have been one year single after long 4-year relationship, am not looking for anything serious, should I date dude I met off Tinder that has shown interest in a serious relationship? |
t3_14c4pm | relationships | Not sure if this is the right place, but I need some advice. | I've been with the best guy ever for 2 years now. I love him more than anything and I know he feels the same. But for some reason I'm still insecure and I have a doomed feeling, like it could all come crashing down any second. I've been cheated on a bunch in the past and I've been left out of the blue before, with no explanation or anything. I want to get over it because I know in my heart that nothing bad is going to happen this time, but I'm not sure how. Does anyone have any advice? | I'm been left for no reason and I fear it's going to happen again. How do I get over the dread? |
t3_4dsa3j | relationships | Me [22F] with my mother[46F] is constantly pushing me to break up with my boyfriend [26M] of 3 years | Pretty much as the title says, my mother is always pushing me to break up with my boyfriend. Let's call him Drew for now.
My mom is constantly pointing out any kind of negative thing that Drew does, or that she has a problem with. For example, Drew messed up his taxes, and had to pay a pretty hefty fine for it, and it messed us up financially for 2 weeks. So now she regularly tells me, "That's a warning sign that Drew is no good for you. He can't even do his taxes properly. How will he take care of you? You just need to break your lease and move into my house." That's just one of the many things she'll bring up to me.
Now, Drew is not a bad guy, by any means. Sure, he makes mistakes, and he may have messed up financially when he was younger, but he has come extremely far in his life. He works a good job, making better money than I do (I went to college and he didn't), and he genuinely loves me and takes care of me.
I understand that I need to communicate to my mother that I'm not okay with how she speaks about Drew, but I'm not sure how. I feel that I will hurt her feelings if I do so, and she is all I have when it comes to family.
Help me figure out what words need to come out of my mouth!
Thank you in advance to anyone's advice! | Mother REALLY doesn't like my boyfriend, and insists I leave him. How do I tell her I have a problem with how she talks about my boyfriend in the nicest way possible? |
t3_3xlvd4 | relationships | Me [27M] with my wife [27F] of four years, she doesn't want me to go to medical school | edit: All my comments are being downvoted below zero, am I not supposed to respond to comments in this subreddit?
My wife and I have been together for seven years, married for four, and we have two young kids together. About a year ago, I got pretty sick with a chronic condition that is now reasonably well-controlled. It meant I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals and doctor's offices and was literally on a first name basis with the specialist MD I was seeing. Toward the end of the intensive part of the treatment (a few months ago), my doctor made an offhand comment that I would have made a really great doctor.
I've been really unhappy in my career for a long time, whereas my wife's has really taken off, and she out-earns me by quite a bit. I can't get this doctor's meaningless comment out of my head, and I've been researching the possibility of making a huge life/career change and going to medical school. I think it will be hard, and expensive, but feasible. I wish I had figured this out four years ago but better late than never, right?
The problem is my wife. She is completely opposed to the idea. She thinks school would take way too much time away from our family and put too much burden on her. I understand her point and I know it would be hard but I really think it would be worth it in the end. She has made her position clear, so have I, and I don't know where to go from here. Any advice? | I want to go back to school to become a doctor, and my wife thinks this will be an undue burden on her and our kids and is vehemently opposed. |
t3_3fdzya | relationship_advice | Drunk and prideful girlfriend (23f) won't get out of my(23f) car | Yo. Gonna write this quick bc I feel like I'm in need of a quick response. My gf (23f) is drunk and doesn't want me to see her "like this" so has decided to sleep in the backseat of my car. Clearly posting to reddit bc I alone don't have the words she needs to hear to get to a safe, comfortable bed that is literally 50 ft away from where she is currently choosing to reside. I wanna respect her wishes and "give her a minute" but it's been almost two hours with multiple check ins and like... I understand.. She's grown and can make her own decisions. But just feel responsible as her partner and Like it would be shitty to just let her sleep in a stuffy car all night. I'm trying not to take it personal, but she doesn't feel comfortable being this drunk around me and we've been dating almost a year. She puked a few time but is coherent. Def not hospital worthy of anything like that, but still... drunk. Anyways,. Told her "It doesn't bother me to see you like this", "I just want you in a safe, comfortable spot". I keep telling myself if I just had the right words it wouldnt be like this. Regardless. Is it ok to leave her in my car? That's what she's insistently expressing she wants. Just doesn't feel right. | cannot get my gf to a safe comfortable bed Bc she isn't ok w me seeing her "like this". |
t3_2nqrz9 | relationships | Me [28 F] with my BF [26 M] relationship car | I am a 28 year old female and my partner is a 26 year old male. We are keen on purchasing a car together as we can get by with one but are keen just on a specific model which is about $10,000 out of our price range.
He is putting in less than me for the deposit, so we need a loan for the rest?
Should I eat the extra money I am putting in? it's about $5,000 I'm putting in and he is giving $1000.
I know this is a finance question but with it being between me and him I feel that it is a relationship decision between us.
We aren't married even though I feel he might ask soon.
What is fair? And please consider the relationship :) | buying a car with my partner (it's a BMW). Need some financial advice with just a hint of the romantic side. |
t3_25r4th | personalfinance | Does it make sense to keep medical insurance in the US if I've lived away for over 5 years. | A bit of background.
I moved to NZ over 5 years ago and wasn't sure if it was going to be permanent at the time. Because of this I continued to pay my health insurance policy so I wouldn't have any issues with pre-existing conditions etc. if I came back.
The policy was mainly for major emergencies, in theory, if I got really sick in NZ, i could come back and only be max $5k out of pocket for hospital expenses etc.
Around Dec of this year I seemed to have missed a payment and they canceled my policy. I only found out about it today. The mail was supposed to come to my parents house, but they never mentioned anything.
So, at the moment I no longer have a health insurance plan in the US and based on the quick conversation I had with them I wouldn't be able to re-instate the plan even if I caught up with payments.
Here is my question. Should I bother trying to get the plan re-instated or start a new one, or just forget about it until I come back. My main concern is with pre-existing conditions, but it seems ACA has solved that. | Living outside US, no immediate plans to come back. Should I keep my US health insurance? Concerned about coverage of pre-existing conditions. |
t3_52scca | relationships | Q for women! My (25 M) FWB (25 F) feels like crap when I remind her that our sex is only casual and when I ask if she wants to be my wingwoman | Hi
We've been friends with benefits for a few months now. One: I've asked her a few times, just to make sure, if she still remembers that the sex we have is just casual and that there is never going to be anything more serious between us. I don't want to lead her on, that's all. And two: today I half-jokingly asked her to be my wingwoman at a club.
She says that these two things make her feel like crap, and I'm having kind of a hard time understanding, why. We are just friends who have sex from time to time. Why would you not want to be a wingwoman/wingman for your friend?
And she has a hard time explaining this to me and she says that women would understand, why. So - I ask you, women - can you explain this?
Thanks | FWB doesn't like being reminded that the sex we have is just casual and she doesn't like the idea of being my wingwoman. Why is this? |
t3_17fd9i | relationship_advice | [F22]eeling kind of distant from my long distance boyfriend lately [M22] | We have been together for just about 2 1/2 years and we live roughly 6 hours away from each other. He is working and I am in school. Usually we call each other maybe twice a day and text sporadically.
Since he ha started working at a new place, he goes out after work with his friends from this new job, which is totally fine but I just never hear from him after. Then he goes straight to work the next day. I'm trying (maybe in vain) to not be that clingy, psycho girlfriend but I do wish that we talked more.
How can I bring this up to him without seeming too crazy and how can I calm myself down when I do not here from him? | Boyfriend works alot, don't hear from him sometimes. How can I talk to him about it/make myself feel better? |
t3_2ofgfb | relationships | Me [25M] with my crush [21F] of 3 years, unsure if I should say anything | I met her about three years ago and we seemed to click right away. We are pretty good friends and hang out on a regular basis. She really seems to enjoy being with me and she once told me that she's "lucky to have genuine people like you in my life." There's just one problem: she's dating someone.
I could go on and on about all the cliches about her beauty and good humor, but the most important aspect to me is how I feel when I am with her. Everything just feels right. When she came to me crying at a party and collapsed into my arms, I almost immediately began crying too. Not out of happiness that she was coming to me for comfort, but because I could feel every bit of her pain and I was truly hurting for her. It felt terrible sharing those emotions with her, but I didn't want to let go. I wanted to just hold her and squeeze every last bit of pain from her body.
She told me about her relationship and how it wasn't working. I gave her the best advice I could. That she had to do what was best for her and made her happy. I didn't say anything about my feelings for her. It didn't seem right to try and use her moment of sadness and confusion for my own purposes. I wanted her to be happy, even if that meant being with someone that I think is wrong for her. Anyway, she thanked me for listening and we hugged again. She stayed with him and I'm still hurting with desire for her.
I have always felt that she might like me, but won't be the one to make a move. Should I tell her how I feel? I don't mean that I want to tell her to leave him and be with me. I just can't stand knowing that I am always too afraid to tell her the truth. I don't want to let her slip away if she might actually want to be with me. I just don't want to ruin a friendship or play the role of a thief. I simply don't know what to do and I'm hoping somebody has the answer. | I have had a crush on a good friend for several years. She has a rocky relationship with a long term boyfriend and I don't want to try and steal her away, but I do want to tell her how I feel. |
t3_x3uvq | AskReddit | Was merging onto the highway and two douches go out of their way to block me. What's your worst road rage story? | So I was zipping up an onramp, and ended up about a car length in front of an Xterra, going slightly slower than them. As there was a 4Runner behind him, I step on it and signal to smoothly merge in front of the Xterra, maintaining 1-2 car lengths. Seeing this, the Xterra (which seems to be the preferred car of asshats) scoots up at the last second, forcing me to coast close to the end of the on ramp.
Now, a 2 car length hole has opened between the Xterra and the 4Runner, so I coast into position to merge right behind the Xterra, right as the merge lane ends. In a rare alignment of douchebags, the 4Runner decides to step on it as well, but merges halfway into the (empty, might I add) left lane. This allows me enough room to not be inches from the guard rail, but I've already applied brakes and just let him pass. The 4Runner reclaims the rest of his precious right lane, and our lovers drive off into the sunset.
Now, I understand I didn't have the right of way coming off the merge lane, but there is no reason anyone had to go out of their way to prevent an otherwise smooth move with plenty of space for everyone. It wasn't rush hour. I had no boner. Normally, I'm extremely chill with these kinds of things, cus "I'm going to have a better life than you and I'm going to let you hang on to your shitty vibes, thanks." But for some reason this double-dip of douchebaggery just really irked me - I thought of how my friend was run off the road by some rednecks last year - he flipped and totaled his car - luckily no serious injuries, but avast, no justice. By some sweet swing of fate the chillest set of songs came up on my shuffle, and by the time I arrived home I was breathing normally. But damn. | DoubleDip of douchebaggery put me over the edge today. By some twist of fate chill music soothed my soul. |
t3_1bocpn | dating_advice | This girl 20/F I've 22/m been talking to for about 2 weeks I believe is playing hard to get. What should I do? | I met this girl and she's pretty cool. We've known each other for about two weeks now. We started texting for a few days and then I asked her out. She was so eager to go out and we had a great time getting dinner and ice cream. We saw each other again for a few hours the next day and everything was still really good.
However throughout the rest of the week/Easter weekend we didn't text as much. I tried twice to set up dates but family issues didn't allow us to hang out. I knew she would slip away if I didn't see her soon so Monday I stopped by her work and surprised her with cookies and a drink. We talked for awhile and I tried setting up another date but every time I tried, she was busy. I left frustrated and she texted me later saying thank you for dropping by and that she hasn't eaten the big cookie yet but it looked good and she'd definitely text me tomorrow after she tried it. That was over 2 days ago and I still haven't heard anything.
She seems into me and I asked her that if she wasn't to tell me because she seemed off but she assured me that it wasn't the case. How do I approach this situation? I really think she's playing hard to get. | Took a girl on a date, she assured me that she was into me but acts really distant, won't text. Thinking she's playing hard to get...what do I do? |
t3_2li4pq | relationships | I [26 M] saw my gf [25 F] web history. She looks at MY exs facebook profile often. Should I ask her about it? | Last night I was using her laptop and I went to type something in her browser with the letter "p" and the first link to come up was pornhub. I thought "oh this is sexy, she been watching porn lately". I wanted to see what she watches so i pulled up her history.
In her history I see the names of my exes on facebook links. I thought this was odd but didnt think much of it until I continued to go back to find what porn she had watched and saw that they were coming up weekly. Along with my one female friend. My ex's and myself have NO contact at all EVER. My friend and I only speak by phone on very rare occasions. Maybe once a month or less. This friend is married and has a baby.
We have been together for 5 years and I'm worried this might be some sort of underlying thing or some sort of hardcore insecurity that shes been hiding from me. I dont know what it is.
What is the best way to talk to her about this? | My GF looks at MY ex's facebook pages regularly. Is that weird (I think it is) and should I confront her about it? I want her to know She can be honest. I'm very hard to offend. |
t3_3ep5we | loseit | HELP! I need help! | So my weight loss journey began back in March when I turned 19 and the finals were over. I had all the time in the world for myself since I live at my parents' and I didn't have a job. I Decided to invest that time to myself and start revamping my lifestyle. Things got to a very good start. I started walking. Foods became low calorie content and healthy as did the portions. I manged to gain some perspective over my previous eating habits. Cravings vanished and I was really neatly managing to stay within reasonable limits of consuming treats. My SW was 105 kgs and I got down to 96.7 kgs util day 50 dawned and I thought I could start living without excessive calorie counting. Things went well for a few weeks and then I got a job as a DJ at a local bar. Working nights was exhausting and I fell into the trap of unhealthy night food and the next day I didn't have enough energy to eat healthy. This led to overall tiredness and I could not force myself to go hit the trails for a walk. Combined with my parents having an unhealthy lifestyle and being super-stressed from work I didn't have anyone to look after me and help me to get back on track. I've gained about three kilos since my lowest weight and I need to get back on track with losing it. | Went from 105 kgs to 96,7 kgs in 50 days. Circumstances led to gaining back about 3 kgs in two months. Now I need help getting back to business. |
t3_20o8tr | relationships | Me [23 M] I am in a great relationship but I am bi-curious and feel like I will never be able to explore that side of myself. | I have been dating my girlfriend for three years this Thursday. I love her to death and she loves. She knows I am bi-curious and doesn't care that I watch gay porn nor and is totally supportive of who I am. The only problem is I feel like I would really like to try being with a man sexually (I don't actually find men attractive/ nor would I want to be in a relationship with one).
She does not like the idea which is completely understandable and I would never cheat on her. But this leaves me at a cross-roads. Do I leave a potential future wife or risk living with regret for the rest of my life. Has anyone had experience with this? | Want to try sex with dudes, girlfriend isn't okay with it. I love her but I also don't want to live a life with regrets. |
t3_53f08k | relationships | I [29F] am not attracted to new boyfriend [32M] but really want to make this work. Am I being shallow? | Basically, what the title says. I started seeing a new guy recently, it's been a really long time since I dated anyone due to a really bad experience but decided to put myself out there again and start dating. My friends convinced me to try a dating website and it was a little intimidating, but I filtered through the messages looking for something interested and began talking to "Jeff."
Now, "Jeff" is a really nice guy, we've been talking online for about a month before we decided to meet and now we've been out together for 5 dates and still talk everyday! He's been great, kind, patient, attentive without being clingy or needy. We have a lot in common and things have been going well.
The only problem is, I don't find him physically attractive. I want to get past that, I know looks fade eventually and all that. The last date we went on things started progressing a bit in that area and I just couldn't get that into it. I told him I wanted to take things slow, and he's been awesome to not push things, I don't want to tell him what the issue is. He's not unattractive by any means, I can see where there would be plenty of women that would find him desirable, but I just don't.
What do I do? Am I being shallow? Do I try to work past it? This is someone I could see myself being serious with, will it fade? | I've been seeing a guy who I connect with emotionally/mentally but i'm not sexually attracted him, what now? |
t3_1laze7 | legaladvice | Banking account garnished for another person's debt. | I have been working with the Peace Corps for the past two years. My parents live in South America, so I have my dad's cousin's address (Michigan) as my home of record (for the Peace Corps and other legal stuff). Because I didn't expect to be back in the States for over two years and wanted to have someone on my account for emergencies, I added my dad's cousin. Stupid decision.
The bank that we use merged with a larger bank and got our accounts messed up (her personal account and mine). I only noticed when I looked online and saw that over $6,700 was moved from my account over to hers. I called her up and she had $5,000 moved back into my account. A few weeks later, $5,000 was taken out of my account due to a garnishment (for her, not me). Apparently (according to what she says) someone stole her identity, opened a credit account at another bank, got surgery under her name, etc., and racked up a huge amount of debt under her name.
I haven't heard from her in at least three months, I'm guessing because she's avoiding me (ugh).
I have the bank records to show how the money was moved around due to the bank merger and taken out due to the garnishment. Is there any legal action that I can take to get the money back? Also, I haven't been in the States since August 2011 and won't be going back until January 2014 (if that info helps at all). I have a bad feeling I know the answer, but any advice (even if personal) would be much appreciated. | I lost close to $7,000 due to a garnishment on my cousin's debt and money being moved around by her while I was in the Peace Corps. |
t3_n5u96 | AskReddit | Would you give up a well paying job if it meant you have the chance to finally make a choice in what you want to do with your life? | As of right now, i am very well payed having only finish college barely 3 months ago but i am extremely unhappy.
I feel like a sellout. I am pretending to be someone that is so far away from who i really am that i feel sick just looking at myself in the mirror sometimes. I wear a suit and work in a goddamn cubicle and have a number and letter for a identity.
My entirely life i have lived according to what others thought i should have lived. (parents, sister wanted the typical go to college work for a company makes lots of money type of thing) And out of college i thought i would finally have a chance to pursue something i wanted. But again felt pressured by family and soceity (and looming loan repayment) to take a high pay high stress corporate job. | i look like a tool and i work 9-6 for a heartless soulless corporation. can't choose between personal happiness or a fat wallet. |
t3_4jjzol | relationships | Me [21M] with my girlfriend [21F] of six months is thinking about performing naked in an art piece at a fairly large gallery in my hometown. I am having some trouble with the idea. | First up, me and my girlfriend have a fantastic relationship that is going extremely well, and we are thinking about moving in together soon. It's the second serious relationship I have been in, but the first *real* serious relationship if that makes sense.
**The situation**
My girlfriend is an art student and one of her lecturers is putting on a piece at a fairly large museum in our city. The lecturer was looking for volunteers in his class to perform as part of the piece. My girlfriend called me and told me she had volunteered for it and at first I was excited for her to have the opportunity to do something different and interesting.
That was until she told me that it would be with very litte/no clothing.
She said although she had volunteered she didn't know if he would want her for it. But it sounds like if she volunteered in the first place she must be keen...
**My feelings**
I have read a few things online about people with girlfriends who are posing for nude life drawing classes or whatever, but I feel like this is a bit different. It is a much more public environment and it won't just be professionals and other art students there, but anyone who cares to walk into what is a major museum in my city.
I haven't expressed my feelings about it to her yet, because I wanted to think about it first and make sure that I'm not being too jealous or controlling. As far as she knows I'm cool with it.
**My question**
Is it normal for me to be jealous in this situation? How can I deal with those feelings? **How should I approach talking to her about this?** I wouldn't ever ask her not to do it, but if I even expressed these feelings she would probably interpret them as some sort of way that I am trying to manipulate her towards trying to stop her from doing it.
Help me out reddit! | Girlfriend performing naked in an art piece at a public gallery - how do I work through my jealousy about it? **Is my jealousy illogical?** |
t3_2u34km | relationships | Boyfriend (27/M) ditching me (24/F) on V-Day to go skiing with his HS buddies. Am I right to be upset? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. Recently, his behavior has been much better than it was in the past; he has been very helpful, kind, caring and loving. He helped me with a huge daunting task even when he was very sick and I was very appreciative of it.
However, last night I come over and he drops this on me: he'll be out of town for Valentine's Day. Reason? V-Day happens to fall on President's Day Weekend and he is going on a ski trip with his HS buddies (because it's the only weekend a buddy of theirs can let them borrow the house). There are about 5 of them total, 2 are married.
Needless to say, I was upset and he said he didn't understand what the big deal was and that we could celebrate on February 12th. He told me I was overreacting and being "dramatic." I am upset because 1) he is choosing to hang out with his buddies over me 2) his buddies live close by, it's not like they never see each other (they just had a huge poker night 2 weeks ago! the lot of them) and 3) my BF did something very shady this year and it makes me sad that he is choosing his friends over hanging out with me that weekend. Plus he's a horrible skier! Am I right to be upset over this or should i get over it and look forward to February 12th? | BF is choosing to spend V-Day with his buddies on the slopes over me which makes me upset for a variety of reasons. Am I right to be upset? |
t3_2r02c9 | relationships | (17M) Need advice about starting a relationship with a (18F) childhood friend? | So a bit of backstory.
Our families hang out often for parties, holidays and other gatherings. I hang out with her on occasion to play video games and stuff. We've known each other since childhood, and have never officially dated.
Last summer, she made some obvious "hints" that I completely missed/subconsciously ignored. I'm thinking about asking her if she'd want to be in a more serious relationship, but I'm afraid of something happening that would make future family stuff incredibly awkward. My biggest fear is that she thinks I'm not interested in her anymore and is already in a relationship. | Want to start a relationship with a childhood friend. Am afraid of awkward family gatherings due to possible results. Need advice. |
t3_302wou | relationships | Me [27/F] with my Parents/Brother [50s & 22/M] - My parents are enabling my useless brother | My brother just turned 22. He is still in school for graphic design (his third college after failing out of two others) and likely wont graduate for another year. My brother has never held a single job. My parents do not think this is a problem, and have made no effort to push him. In fact, since they don't want to buy him a car or drive him places, they prefer he doesn't work.
Now, they are refusing to pay for his tuition for the summer. They had him apply for an unpaid internship, and they have no plan for if he doesn't get it. I swear they think things will just eventually fall into his lap.
I am 27, married, have a great job, my own house, etc. etc. I am terrified that one day my brother will be my problem. I really want my parents to step up and make him grow up, but they avoid the topic entirely and are angry when I bring it up. Feel free to tell me this is none of my business, because I just keep obsessing over it. | My 22 year old brother has never had a job, hasn't finished his degree, and my parents just enable him. |
t3_2rlhvq | offmychest | I have 3 supplemental college essays due tomorrow & all I can think about is that I might have cancer. | I managed to make it through my childhood.
I managed to pull myself together after almost failing high school, will myself out of depression, & am now excelling in college.
I managed to get all my apps in & finish last semester with awesome grades despite going through one of the toughest times in my life.
I managed to get my 2 letters of recommendation which was an adventure in itself.
I'm on the last stretch & this is all that's left for me to do is write these simple essays & I can't stop thinking that it might all be for nothing.
I had the lump checked by a friend who's in med school & she told me to go get it properly checked about a week ago. I've been trying to ignore it & pull through until I can go see a doctor but I can't do it today.
I don't feel like myself anymore. My stress has peeked. The smallest things effect me immensely. I feel desperate & isolated & I've noticed it's changed in my actions & the way I've been talking to friends. It feels like my depression is back & it's all over something that might not even be anything.
I need to vent because I don't know who to talk to about this without setting off alarms, so thank you for listening. | 10 pages that can very well determine my future are due tomorrow & I can't get my head on straight because I can't stop thinking I might have cancer. |
t3_g1ams | AskReddit | Help! I got scammed by artistpr.com. I'm a poor college student and that was my gas money to get home for break. What do I do? | Some background: I manage a small band in Missouri and was looking for ways to promote online, sending our music out to about anywhere. ArtistPR called me back, saying they liked what they heard and for 3$ for 5 days, they would put us on the front page and do some promoting. After that, it would cost 60$ per month. I thought well, any little bit helps, even if its only five days, so I went ahead with it. They sent me an email confirming my purchase and telling me I had until 9:46 pm on 3/9/11 (yesterday) to cancel before it automatically renewed. So, at about 5pm yesterday, I called to cancel. I had to do it by leaving a voicemail, so I did. I decided to go ahead and check my account and they had already charged the money for the renewal before my trial had expired! I have called them multiple times and have emailed them and have gotten no reply about the money they charged me. They even had the nerve to send me an email "regretting my cancellation" and told me for 60$ I could have even more time, etc. Except they already charged me this. I'm a 19 year old sophomore in college and I don't have any idea of what to do about this. I called my bank because the money is an "authorization" but they said they could not do anything about it until the organization withdrew the money. All I wanted to do was help out my future career a little bit and they have taken all the money that I had. I have the emails proving that they were in the wrong but I don't know if it will help. What do I do Reddit? | ArtistPR.com charged me 60$ after I cancelled my account with them and refuse to answer my calls/emails. Help! |
t3_1vq20u | relationship_advice | I (29/f) am attracted to 30/m and I think he returns my feelings. Mutual acquaintance (27/f) revealed she's had feelings for him for a long time. Am I slimey to pursue? | We are all three graduate students and so there is a lot of overlap in our work and social groups. I've recently gotten close with a guy who I am very attracted to, and I get the sense that he's attracted to me too. The other woman recently revealed that she's had feelings for the guy for a long time (she was drunk, we don't usually have heart-to-heart conversations), though nothing ever happened between the two of them and I don't know if he ever returned her feelings. She's good friends with him, but while I like her, the two of us are not particularly close.
Given these circumstances, it feels wrong to pursue anything with him and I don't want to be the source of tension with colleagues and friends. My initial thought was to sit back and see if he made any moves and go from there. However, he's extremely shy so if anything is going to happen I would probably have to initiate.
I'd like some outside perspectives. | Really interested in a guy, but I feel like a jerk for going after him after acquaintance admitted that she's had feelings for him for a long time. |
t3_mfubf | loseit | Slow and Steady wins the race (-50lbs) | Not as big as a transformation that others have accomplished here but I am proud. [ME!](
Some back story if any one is interested.
Last christmas I went to Cuba with my family, I had just had surgery (pilonidal sinus removed, don't google it, trust me)3 months before and hadn't done anything since before then. I realized I wasn't at my best but when I looked at the pictures I was disgusted with my self, I had never been thin but always played sports and this was definitely the worst my body looked. (I had been 225 before but this was a rugby season a few years ago and was in a lot better shape)
So come January I got on to Keto, it was perfect diet for me at the time (lost 25 pounds on it) after 6 weeks I had started going to the gym and rugby training and I couldn't stand how fast I would fatigue during longer workouts so I changed to a low carb (-120g's a day) with a high protein content. By summer I was 185, looking strong with a little gut but my back and arm were huge.
2 games into the season I broke a rib and some cartilage so I was back to not moving for a bit, I gained 10 pounds in a month and realized what slope I was going down so started limiting my self to 2000 cals a day.
First game back and I break my hand so once again no lifting but I was still training rugby and watching what I eat. Get down to 185 again and school starts. I hit 180 after rugby season started (2 practices a day!) but once the cafe opened up to us I was back up to 190. End of september I started limiting my self to 1 plate per meal and i've been losing 1-2lbs per week since.
I started the gym again 2 weeks ago where I weighted my self at 173 how ever I broke my hand again this weekend (no more rum) but I can hold about 45 pounds in it so it won't be as bad as last time. | Went to cuba after surgery, hated body, over the year lost the weight and hit the gym here and there. |
t3_47y71n | relationships | My (19f) bf (18) lent his pocket knife to a friend and I seem more concerned than he about getting it back. | My so is a very nice guy but doesn't like confrontation. At a recent party he lent the class drug addict his pocket knife which was subsequently lost. He was a bit upset and whenever I ask he says he wants it back but he doesn't do anything about it. This happened last year and he still hasn't asked for it back. This annoys me immensely even though it's not even my pocket knife.
Whenever I ask him if he asked for it back he gets all quiet, the answer is always no and after further prodding he says he's waiting for the right time.
Is it right of me to keep prodding or is there a way to help him or should I stop? | I'm more concerned about him getting his property back than he is and want to know if I should continue pushing or not. |
t3_13t1j6 | relationships | Classmate (25m) that I (22f) have been casually hooking up with has a pregnant wife and a kid that he never mentioned. What do I do? | We both are first years in Med School right now. I am 22/f and single. He is 25/m and married but he never told me or anyone else about this part. We have a bunch of classes together and we became friends quickly. He was seeing another one of my friends during the beginning of the year but they ended up having a falling out. We started talking about a month ago and we have been hooking up since then. He has acted single to everyone here. Not one mention of his PREGNANT wife or son.
I ended up finding out because a friend of a friend knew his wife and saw a picture I put up on my facebook. She showed me his wife's account. She is pregnant (with a baby girl) and they have a 2 yo son. I feel awful that I was helping him cheat and I am ashamed but I genuinely did not know about this.
I honestly really, really liked him and I'm almost heartbroken. I'm amazed someone could be this EVIL. He is one of the most well liked guys in our class and I think if I outed him people would side with him. He is like one of those people that everyone likes and gets along with. I'm just a quiet, nerdy girl. I don't know what to do. Should I tell his wife? Should I out him to our class? | Guy friend I have been hooking up with for a month turned out to be married with a pregnant wife and a son. Whadda do I do now? |
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