id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_3sg1r3 | relationships | I [18 M] really like one of my close friends [18 F] but anxious if it would ruin our friendship | I am close friends with a girl that I went to school with. We have known each other for about 6 years now and there's only really me, her and two or three others in my town since everybody has left for university.
I have always had a crush on her, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way. We get along incredibly well, have mostly the same tastes and enjoy each other's company, and I want to take the next step and ask her out but I'm anxious about possibly ruining a great friendship.
Since most of our other friends have gone to university, we have hung out a lot recently, to the point which people think we're dating. We have done a lot of date-like things like going for drives, dinner, lunch, picking out clothes for each other for example. I have casually brought up the subject and she says that she isn't into relationships, and isn't into physical contact (no hugs for example).
I would love to be in a relationship with her but I don't know if it is worth asking and potentially ruining a great friendship, let alone be sure that she likes me in the same way.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you :) | I like one of my close friends and have done since we met, but she isn't a relationship person and I don't want to potentially ruin a great friendship. |
t3_1aqrw9 | dating_advice | I (20f) really like this guy (25), but he says I'm too young. I feel like his perception of me is off because of a stressful situation I went through. I want to show him I'm really not that unhealthy/immature. | Some background: In the past year I was sexually assaulted and it really has shaped how I perceive men and approach relationships. A few months ago I was really in a bad place, but I'm taking steps to get better now.
Alright, so I met this guy through a mutual friend and we really hit it off. He knew from the get-go that I was assaulted and he really had no problem with taking things slow. It didn't deter him at all. We started dating casually and I got a bit more attached than I should have. We dated for about 2 months. He ended it because he wasn't ready for a serious relationship yet and said that I was too young for him.
I think the reason why he said I was too young is because when he met me and we started dating, I was really in a bad place emotionally and it showed some unhealthy habits and insecurities. I'm honestly not usually like that and it kills me to know that he perceives me as that same insecure, over thinking, paranoid girl that he met. I want to show him that now that I'm getting better, I'm a much more relaxed and laid back person who approaches problems in a healthy manner (usually).
Advice? Anything? | I like this guy who said I was too young/marginally immature. I was recently assaulted and it negatively affected how our dating relationship went. How do I fix it? |
t3_37vxhz | relationships | How do I [16/F] tell my dad about my boyfriend [19/M]? | My boyfriend and I have been "dating" since April 19. We have been friends since around January and we hung out for the first time in February. He and I are extremely alike in almost every way, and a lot of that is due to tic disorders (I have chronic tic disorder and he has tourrettes.) The thing is, I'm not supposed to date anyone over two years older than me, and my dad is extremely strict about that rule. We met last year when I was a freshman and he was a senior. As of now, every time I have hung out with my SO, I have told my dad that I was with this guy (we'll call him Joseph) from school that my dad knows (Joseph is okay with this.) The problem is in August, Joseph has to go to a university which is two hours away. | I have been secretly dating my boyfriend while my dad who is very strict on age limit thought I was dating a senior at my school. |
t3_2ucp79 | tifu | TIFU by accidentally making a fat joke | So I'm enjoying my day off, when my manager calls asking if I can come in and help train a new guy. Don't even have to get super dressed or anything. Just come in. So I agree, I could use a few hours and in my moccasins? I'm down. So I headed over to 7-11 which is about halfway between where I work and live. I walk inside and am welcomed by one of the older gentleman who always sees me after my late shifts. So I say hello back, grab a red bull, and hop in line. As this man begins ringing my red bull up I start listening to the conversation he's having with the customer before him. The woman, who is a quite larger, but still genuinely nice woman. One of those you can just tell is nice from looking at her. She starts talking about how she and her husband are fixing a bar, and how much they put into it just to see it back up. So I jump in, and try to cleverly throw the old joke about "what did the Irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ow." Well I just said "What? Did you walk into it or something?" Obviously trying to joke about it not being a physical bar. I think I just nailed the joke of the century. Nope. Her face just goes red and the cashier gives me a look of "what the fuck man?" I didn't realize this woman thought I meant her simply walking into a public establishment was enough to break it, and gave a real asshole-ish "what??" Before she blurted about how I'm an insensitive asshole and deserves to burn in hell. At this point I'm mortified. The cashier can tell I didn't mean it and has gotten the joke at this point. He's moments from laughing his ass off as this woman is laying hell in my oblivious mind. I can't say anything other than just babbling something about an Irishman doing anything I can do to just make her understand and stop. But the cashier finally just bursts the fuck out with a huge laugh. The woman threw her m&ms in my face and left me completely reevaluating the last 30 minutes of my life. | stopped by 7-11 and accidentally made one of those jokes you're not supposed to say to someone face, to someone's face. |
t3_31dwb2 | tifu | TIFU by mistaking my wife's pregnant friend for a non pregnant friend. | A few days ago, I was in line at Safeway after mowing and weed-wacking our land. I got way too much sun and was dehydrated (I live in Arizona). My wife's friend points me out and starts chatting with me. I happily use both hands to gesture to her stomach as this particular friend is pregnant. She akwardly pauses and then assumes that I was pointing out her odd shopping cart of ketchup and flowers. I then gave her a big hug, and I notice that she is mortified. Unfortunately this is when I realize that this woman is a casual acquaintance of my wife, not the pregnant friend I thought she was. I was trapped in the line with no escape.
I honestly explained that she was not who I thought she was...it took me a full two minutes to realize this. The guy behind us hears this and winces out of pain for my akwardness. | got handsy with a woman I don't know and pointed out her non pregnant belly while strangers winced at my glorious creepyness. |
t3_1iu311 | relationships | My boyfriend[M23] and I [F22] are struggling to keep our relationship together. | So I lost my mom in February to Alcoholism. It's been really tough on me and I haven't really gotten a lot of closure because I was finishing my last semester in college, graduating and trying to become an adult, all the while trying to deal with my hard headed brother and finishing up my mothers estate.
My boyfriend has been very supportive of me and loves me a lot but he can see that I'm not myself lately. Last night he tried to break up with me , to give me time to become myself again but I can't lose him! It came out of nowhere after a small argument and I was in hysterics asking him to give me another chance, to just let me get help but not to abandon me.
He agreed to try and make it work. He assured me he didn't want to end things because he didn't love me or wanted to be single it was just the oppostie, he loves me and wants me to be me again, but he thinks our relationship hinders that. I don't. The only thing hindering me from getting better is my life. I already made appointments for counciling, I'm moving out of my crappy apartment and my moms funeral is Aug 1st.
I don't know what to do or how to feel. I slep at his house last night and everything was fine but today I feel like there's a huge pit in my stomach.
How could someone who loves me so much try and leave me when I need them the most? Am I crazy? | I'm grieving and my boyfriend wanted to break up to let me find me again, but I don't want to lose him. |
t3_2hrzio | relationships | My (25M) girlfriend (24F) of 9 months has depression, need advice on helping her when her mood is especially low | Long story short my girlfriend has depression and whilst most of the time she can function almost normally other times she has crying fits and will phone me up looking for comfort.
Most of the time this isnt an issue and I'm able to cheer her up- other times she'll phone up and she'll start spouting stuff that causes my first instinct to be trying to show her another way of viewing things that in my head might help. Unfortunately this "tough love" approach just causes arguements that feel like if I had a better idea of what to do could be avoided- can anyone offer some advice on an alternative? | inexperienced boyfriend fucks up repeatedly in comforting depressed girlfriend, seeks advice on what the right thing to od in this situation. |
t3_504tm1 | relationships | I [28 F] would like to see him [20s/30s M] again, but his breath and beard smelled terrible | I met this young man a couple weeks ago now, we went out over the weekend. He's sweet and easy to talk to. I took him home and we fooled around. Everything was great except his mouth smelled and tasted *horrible*. It seemed like it was beyond having just eaten something gross, and was truly rank. I would ordinarily try to friendlily ask a partner to brush their teeth, but this seemed beyond one brushing's ability to fix. His mouth smelled like he could have had several tonsil stones, among potential other issues. His beard, which was long-ish, also smelled pretty bad. I didn't notice much B.O., and the hair on top of his head smelled nice. But the mouth and beard were stinky enough that my bed smelled awful the next morning just from him having slept in it. My roommate smelled the pillow he slept on and confirmed that it wasn't just me that found it to be a stench.
I think I'd like to see him again, but I'm not sure I could stomach another make-out session if his mouth and beard don't smell any better. I know if I see him again I'll want to ask him to clean up his mouth stuff at some point, but I don't want to hurt his feelings or push him away. I cannot wait until we know each other a lot better to bring it up, because I don't want to kiss him again with the smell.
Have you ever successfully asked someone to work on a large-ish hygiene issue? Have you ever been asked? How and when should I go about this sensitively with someone I'm also just getting to know? If it's a medical issue, how much can even be done? | slept with someone new, everything is great except his mouth and beard smell *awful*. I want to see him again, how/when do I bring up the stank? |
t3_2m0c9i | relationships | I [22 F] have been seeing my ex's[24 M] friend [23/M] casually, he thinks I should say something but I'd rather keep it hush. Am I being selfish? | Hi guys, bit of a moral question for you today
To start off, a bit of history
My ex (let's call him Sam) and I broke up ~6months ago, due to lifestyle issues. There's no hard feelings, we just weren't compatible anymore. The break up wasn't fun (which one is) but we're at a level of mutual respect and understanding which is important as we both share the same main friendship group (and had for many years before we got together).
The friend (let's call him Max) is a part of this 'main friendship group'. Both Sam and I have known him for many years and he has always been close to us (more me than Sam).
Max and I got together after a party about a month ago and since then we've been seeing each other. It's been a lot of fun and we have a great connection.
The issue: I am leaving in 2 months to live in a different state permanently and therefore not continuing the relationship. I would not have started this relationship if I was not leaving.
Because of the tricky friendship situation, I told Max from the beginning to keep the arrangement very hush hush (as in *noone* can know about it) for this could potentially ruin my friendship with everyone in this group, and I can't really imagine anyone forgiving me (or him).
This would ruin the last 2 months I have left in the city I was born and raised which is not ideal as I would like to spend these 2 months seeing everybody and saying goodbye.
Max on the other hand, wants to tell Sam what is going on. I can not see this going well and feel like Sam would be better off not knowing (it didn't happen if no one knows right?)
Am I being selfish by not wanting Max tell Sam?
I'm seriously thinking about calling things off if he decides to tell Sam | ex's friend wants to tell ex that we have being seeing each other despite the fact that I'm moving state in a couple months and don't see the point of causing drama before I go |
t3_275uua | tifu | TIFU by drinking with my friends [ NSFW ] | So to set the situation started working at a bar 2 years ago. Started as a bar back eventually moved up to bartender at my 21st birthday when I started bar tending I rarely hung out at my work was just there for the job and would leave. Roughly 4 months ago we hired another you g bartender who is about the same age as me ( the others are all in their 40's to 50's). Me and her started to hit it off and became close friends so we started to hang out at work after our shifts and toss back a few. Fast forward to my birthday last month and they thee me a party at work which was great. My boss let me go early to party with my friends we ended up getting fairly intoxicated so we decided to get a hotel room so my buddy and her friend all walked to the hotel. Got there and went to the room decided we wanted to get in the pool but had no clothes so being drunk as hell we decided skinny dipping was the best idea. So we had fun things started getting frisky between me and her so we said we are tired and went back to the room leaving my buddy and her friend at the pool. We got to the room took a shower and ended up getting intimate I passed out in the other bed in the room while she went to give the other 2 the extra key card to the room. Fast forward about 8 hours and some up inside her friend. Trying to remember what happened and why my hair was still wet I could onl guess I took a shower with her best friend ended up getting it again moved to the bed and finished there. I woke up told everyone I'm getting them breakfast and stood downstairs in front of the complimentary breakfast for about an hour. | Got drunk fucked my friend from work. Fucked her best friend. And now both of them think something is going on between me and each of them independently |
t3_3qglkl | personalfinance | Procedural question - depositing & paying from a large cashier's check | I had a 2nd lien on my home (about 9 years back) to avoid PMI/jumbo. I've since refinanced the primary loan, but was carrying a frightening 7.875% on the 2nd. I have good credit (~800).
I tried shopping for a refi for the 2nd lien but it seems like that product doesn't really exist today. So I've been paying it of course, but hate the rate.
My parents are older, completely debt free including house/cars, and sitting on a bunch of cash - so I offered them 4% to pay off the note as a personal loan. They agreed, everything was documented, signed & notarized. I now have a cashier's check for $58k made out payable to me - and have no idea what to do with it.
The 2nd lien balance is just under $58k. My bank (USAA) only allows me to deposit $10k/daily - and I don't have a local branch I can just walk into.
Can I just walk into another local bank and then ask them to create another cashier's check to the lender to pay off the lien? Am I going to create a bunch of tax implications by doing so? | have a $58k cashiers check, want to use it to pay off a mortgage lien, am dumb. |
t3_1hu3c6 | relationships | I [20M] have a potential issue with a girl I've been talking to [20F] for about a week, she might have gotten together with a friend of mine, and I can't enter a relationship with someone who has slept with or dated someone I know | Sorry for the long title, I'll try to keep the post relatively short.
Essentially: I've been talking to this girl for about a week or so, and we're hitting it off fairly well. However, it has come to my attention that there's been some romantic interaction between her and a friend of mine [19M].
According to her, they kissed once in high school, and that's all there is to it.
However, according to him, they went all the way, and he says that she's completely crazy.
I'm not insanely close friends with this guy, so in reality I have no reason to trust one of them over the other. Help? | Girl I'm talking to may or may not have slept with a guy I'm friends with; would be a complete dealbreaker on my end. |
t3_2d4keg | relationship_advice | [22/m] My father is sleeping with my fiancé's [22/f] mother. | I am just recently engaged to a beautiful young woman and couldn't be any happier with our relationship. The problem we have stems not from ourselves, but from our divorced parents.
A year or so prior to becoming engaged my father asked my then girlfriend and me if we cared if he dated girlfriend's mother. We were not comfortable with it and made our feelings about this known. Our dislike for the situation was played off as immature kids who will eventually come around, so they dated anyways. Fast forward a year and now I am happily engaged with girlfriend, and my father and her mother are in a serious relationship. My fiancé and I have never budged from our stance of being uncomfortable with our parents relationship, and it has caused extreme tension between our relationships with our parents.
For just a little more background, my fiancé and I had been dating for over three years when our divorced parents decided to start seeing each other, and even at that time it was widely speculated that girlfriend and I would eventually marry. It's not as though both relationships happened around the same time. During those three years of dating we saw both our parents become divorced and then start seeing each other. This may add to our dislike of their relationship, along with what feels like a million other reasons.
I could rant on and on about why my fiancé and I dislike their relationship, and if anyone would like more detail about the situation I am happy to give it, but what I really want opinions on is, "are fiancé and I wrong for making a big deal out of our parents being in a serious relationship?" I just want to make sure our feelings of dislike, betrayal, and even disgust at the situation we have been put in are justified before more irreparable damage to our relationships with our parents is done.
For further clarification, I love my fiancé and nothing our parents do will change that in any way. I would not have asked her to marry me if I felt like other people, even our parents could come between us. I'm strictly looking for relationship advice regarding us and our parents. Thanks. | Dad is sleeping with future mother-in-law. Fiancé and I aren't happy about it, and it is causing problems with our relationships with our parents. Are our feelings justified? |
t3_4jkz63 | personalfinance | Company offers me 10k retention bonus to stay 1 year for the next two years. I have to pay 100% back if I quit or get fired during mandatory retention year. Have another offer for similar pay (maybe worse b/c bonus). What should I do? I have until May 27th to decide [employment] [bonus] | Hey PF,
e-fund: 2k
student loans: 21.5k, (monthly payment $315)
credit cards: monthly revolving always pay statement balance in full
rent: $186/mo
I've been working at my current company in Kansas City, Missouri since **September 2013**. I make **$55,600/year salary and another 8-10k tax free through per diem and sometimes mileage.**
Over the past few months, my company has had a really hard time keeping people on my team because it's undertrained and overworked.
As a result, I've been seeking outside employment, and I finally got an offer last Thursday for a hospital system in a place I love: Asheville, North Carolina. I haven't gotten a number yet, but from speaking with friends I expect it to be about **75k/yr**
And then Friday, my makes me an offer to take **10k** this July to stay until next July and another 10k the following July to stay until July 2018.
The language of the offer is such that if I voluntarily or involuntarily leave this company, I am responsible for 100% repayment of the 10k bonus, non pro-rated. So if I quit July 2nd, 2016 I pay back 10k. If I quit June 30th, 2017, I pay back 10k. Same for the second 10k bonus July 2nd, 2017 and June 30th, 2018. And after taxes, I'm probably only going to see 6k of that bonus, right?
I guess I'm just looking for insight on this bonus portion. Does the threat of having to pay back 10k non pro-rated feel ok to you? I don't think I'm going to get fired, but I'm feeling a bit trapped if I take it. | stay, get promoted, and maybe have a chance to work abroad or work somewhere else for a year or two, and jump again to make more money |
t3_12gsnu | AskReddit | I always look in the backseat before I get in my car. Even if my house is full of people, I always check behind the shower curtain before I close the door to the bathroom. Is this weird behavior? | Before I go to bed I make sure all windows and doors in the house are locked. Also, before I close the doors to my room before bed, I check my closet. The only room I don't check anything in is my mother's because she always goes to sleep before I do. Sometimes I don't check if the windows are locked and am satisfied that they are just closed all the way. I don't feel that someone is specifically out to get me, but I look just to make sure no one or nothing is there before I am stuck in a room. I do watch a lot of crime shows but honestly I've been doing this for as long as I can remember, even farther back than when I started WATCHING the shows.
When sitting down I won't sit in front of windows. In my living room I sit in the only part of our couches that is in a corner, it's near a window, but not placed in front of it.
When I drive I will not roll down any other window all the way but my own, all the other windows only get a slightly big crack.
Also when I packed my room up for our move we just made, I put all of my books(at least 7 medium sized boxes) perfectly into their boxes. I didn't redo it or MAKE them fit, it's just how I put them in that they all happened to fit perfectly to where they wouldn't move around and the box closed normally.
Some people say this is OCD behavior but I would imagine OCD would be more extreme. There are other examples that are too complicated for me to explain right now but I would be willing to discuss if anyone has any specific questions. Also, wouldn't OCD then affect every aspect of these things and my life? My every day life is completely normal except for these few weird things.
So my question is this - Does anyone share these behaviors? Does anyone do something that other people think is weird so far as a routine goes? | I always check out a room or vehicle before I lock myself into it and check windows and doors before I go to sleep. Does anyone share this with me or does anyone know why I do these things? |
t3_3a03d4 | relationships | My [24M] GF [21F] lied to me about having her drivers license? Together for 5 months. | So I met my girlfriend about 6 months ago and we have spent just about every day together. She is caring, kind, smart, etc etc. We are pretty much the "same person." Anyways, whenever we would talk about driving she would talk about driving her mom's car or driving her dog around and talked about loving it. I've always had mine (needed it because I lived in a remote city) and never thought twice about it. She lived in a small city that was close together and I guess she never needed it. My issue is that she drove my car for me when it was about to be towed (parking was going to end 30 minutes from when we got there -- I was in the vets office with my dog) and she lied about having her license. Not blatantly, but through omission. She only drove it less than a mile to repark it for me, and she didn't crash, but why did she lie? I could have gone instead if she'd asked, I just didn't want to miss them calling me in for his xray results.
She actually was the one to tell me about it because she felt so bad about keeping it from me (4 months after reparking), but I'm not sure how to feel. It seems like a ridiculous thing to keep from someone. Is this a red flag? She apologized a lot and obviously felt bad about it. She said she loves driving (she has her permit) but her family just couldn't afford for her to get her license (both parents lost jobs and sibling's still on insurance.) She's been really great in every other aspect, but she did lie about this and didn't tell me for a long time. How should I approach this? | GF lied to me about drivers license, not sure how to feel or where to go from here. I'm not mad, but kind of stumped. |
t3_20nl1j | relationships | How can I[23F] make professional relationships evolve into friendships? | I [23F] have never been social, and don't have many friends (if any). I've been wanting to change that and I have noticed that I tend to hit it off with/seek out people who have a professional rapport with me (i.e professors, physicians, TAs).
I think I might unknowingly seek out people whom I find inspiring (that sounded terribly corny but I can't phrase this in an other way), or more simply, since I am in college, they are more accessible and easier to talk to than fellow students (I find). I know that some are "out of my league" so to speak, and leave it at that, but I really get on well with some others (one TA, or my physician for example), and I think they genuinely enjoy my company as well.
--
Despite the friendly conversation, common cultural references, and occasional sharing, I sense that I always remain a "customer", and I'd like to change that. How should I go about it? | I always have a professional/financial relationship with people I get along with, don't know how to steer relationship towards friendship. |
t3_1a9ni9 | BreakUps | My [20M] girlfriend [20F] doesn't want to be one of "them" couples. Please help. | Hi Reddit, tried posting this in /r/relationships but got told to try here too.
My girlfriend of over 3 years recently broke it off with me and I'm completely devastated.
I'm doing my best not to come across as desperate and give her space which I know is important.
When I have talked to her though, she says she still loves me etc.
One of her reasons for not wanting to get back together though is that she doesn't want to be one of those "pathetic couples" that break up and get back together over and over.
I've tried saying lets just try it one more time, but again I think that sounds a bit needy. I've also tried the whole "we aren't like them, we aren't pathetic..."
I just don't know how to articulate that I too don't want to be like that, but I know we can work it out.
Just looking for some advice, I don't know where else to turn. Thanks. | Doesn't want to be a couple that breaks up and gets together repeatedly. Need to convince her we won't be. |
t3_37jltz | relationships | How do I [23F] fall out of love with my only friend? [29F] | How do you fall out of a crush/love?
I'm friends with someone but my feelings are making it hard to keep things "platonic" so to speak.
We kiss, cuddle, laugh at each other's jokes, binge watch TV shows, hold hands in public, have sex, pretty much everything short of saying "I love you"
I'm pretty sure they're aware I've caught feelings for them too because they've said multiple times "I'm not ready for a relationship" to me but still goes on places like OKcupid, Tinder, POF, etc.
Today they brought one of their dates back with them while I was hanging out at their house and I just got a really sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and was pretty damn close to having a panic attack, I left shortly after.
This is also important because they're pretty much the only friend I have. I didn't want this but now it's getting harder and harder to avoid. Is my friendship with this person doomed to self destruct? Is there any way I can just remove my emotional self when I'm doing all these things with them?
I don't want to go back to being a loner. | I think I love my friend. The only friend I have. The feeling isn't mutual but I don't want to go back to being alone. |
t3_wjikn | AskReddit | What is the most desperate thing you've done for money? | When I was about 8 I really wanted to buy the new Green Day album American Idiot, I didnt have much money and was short by about $10 I went to my Mum and asked her if i could borrow $10 she said yes but she said i will have to work it off. She offered me 5 cents a minute (or $3 an hour) to give her head and foot massages. I, being young and gullible thought i was getting a good deal. I was agreed and for the next 3 and a bit hours i worked my arse off for every cent. The next day I went and bought that CD and for the next few years I was none the wiser how much I was ripped off. | Wanted to buy a CD, was $10 short, asked mum and she ripped me off and made me work for over 3 hours |
t3_2qg79m | relationships | My [22 M] girlfriend [18F] of one month is sick and won't let me come back to the city to take care of her. | I [22M] met my girlfriend [18F] a month ago and we are celebrating christmas in our own families 150km away (not far, I have a car and money). She told me she had a minor infection the other day and I offered to come back to take care of her but she refused. Yesterday, she had what she calls minor complications, but it seems to me like anything but minor. She spent the night at the hospital and now she's out and stabilized. She needs rest. She told me all that this morning when I insisted. She didn't want me to worry. I told her I'd jump in my car (which I did) but she absolutely refused and made me promise I'd stay with my family.. I just don't know what to do. I just want to be with her or near her, in the same city at least. But I promised.. And my family wants me to stay.. | Girlfriend sick but stabilized doesn't want me to come back to the city to take care of her, wants me to stay with my family for christmas. |
t3_1dtb33 | relationships | My fiancees (32) father came out as gay when he was 17 years old and abandoned him and his mum. I (28) just found a search for "stop having gay thoughts" on his phone now I am scared the same thing might happen. | He said he was simply concerned that it "might" be why he has had such a low libido lately and that he is the most hetero guy in the planet but now I can't stop thinking that in 15 years down the line he might finally muster up the courage to come out if he is just hiding it.
Oh, and before people get up in arms over the history search, he had shown me a beautiful wedding location the night before, and I wanted to get the address, this was not a snoop with intent, it was a stumble upon.
However after noticing it, freaking the fuck out and then snooping, the 3 searches previously were for matthew mcconaughey. So I don't think this is a "I wasn't having gay thoughts, I was just checking to see if thats why my libido is low" like he says.
We did have a serious heart to heart, and he assures me that he is not, but with his parents history and now this, I dont know what to think.
We have been dating 5 years, getting married in 9 months.
Oh, and I asked this in askreddit (cos I didn't remember you guys were here) not really any help there.
I don't mind if he is, honestly I could handle that but I couldn't handle him living a lie for me. | Says he is not gay, was searching matthew mcconaughey then "stop having gay thoughts" do I cut and run? |
t3_4zvde1 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my BF [24 M] of a year, he got a job in a different city, we broke up but neither wants to | I apologize if this turns into a rambling mess. I think I'm still in a bit of shock.
My boyfriend of a little more than a year recently finished school and has been trying to find a job. He's applied primarily in our city and one in another state where he has family and friends. As luck would have it, he got a great job in the other city. He found out a couple days ago and will need to move down there by the end of this week.
Of course I'm ecstatic for him because I know it's hard to get a job with little experience in his field and this is a great opportunity. But I also knows this means for our relationship. Doing long distance without an end date is near impossible. I have a job and family here as well. When he told me about the job I initially I thought the best course of action was to break up, because I don't see any other way this works.
At the same time, I'm so sure about him. He's one of the best things to ever happen to me and I can 100% see myself marrying him and if we break up he will always be the one that got away. We love each other, and neither of us wants to break up. We've still been talking and seeing each other, and sometimes it doesn't feel like anything has changed at all.
Sometimes I think about just following him down there (assuming I can get a job there first and can support myself). Is that crazy? Should I just get over him? Neither of us really knows what to do. Any advice or stories of people in similar situations is much appreciated. Thank you. | BF got a job in another city, feels like the inevitable choice is to break up, but neither of us wants to. |
t3_4h7ab5 | relationships | My [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 4 months, she doesn't want to be physically intimate with me (holding hands, hugging) around a certain guy. I feel bad for thinking too much into it | As I said I feel like I am over thinking this, but so or not, I can't shake the feeling of uneasiness. Maybe you can help me figure out my feelings and the situation.
My girlfriend is rather shy, but recently I started introducing her to my group of friends. She opened up a little, but there is this one guy in front of whom she feels visibly uncomfortable with such simple things as pecks on a cheek, for example. If I put my hand on her lap, she tries to shake it off, if not very strongly. Etc etc. This doesn't happen when he's not there, or so it seems to me.
She is also always smiling at what he says, and at his most mundane jokes - it feels as if she wants him to notice her reaction more than anything. Again, she's more shut in with others.
I am not willing to look through her messages for this. And at this point, I don't think I should talk to her or him about this. I want to have some confidence I'm not dreaming things up, and being a possessive insecurity.
What would you suggest I do? My problem is that this bothers me too much, I feel like I cannot trust her completely and this eats at me. I want to either stop worrying about nothing, or get to the root of this.
Any advice is appreciated - either ways of checking what this is about, or your personal experiences of similar situations.
Thanks. | I feel like my girlfriend wants to appear emotionally available to one of my friends. I want to know if it's true or I'm imagining things. |
t3_1cz4tz | offmychest | I'm engaged and.. | My fiance and I had a quick engagement. We met August 2011 in a chemistry class in undergrad and didn't really talk. That December, studying for finals week, we exchanged numbers and from there we literally never stopped talking. I'm telling you, we texted each other for a solid 10 months at least one message every 5 minutes. We checked our message history from July to October and it was over 42,000.
So here is the catch, he had a girlfriend for a majority of the time we were talking. December to October of 2012. They didn't really speak, were really just more of two ships passing in the night in their apartment, and had planned to break up when he left for grad school this past August, but for some reason, they didn't officially break up until October. (This is a much longer story and is something that I still have qualms about).
We started "dating" officially in November, but had been really seeing each other (sleeping together, phone calls every night, dates, etc) since February. Our romance was hot and heavy and really quite passionate until this January.
We've had an incredibly tumultuous relationship. We fight passionately at least once a week, normally upwards of four or five times. I've completely lost any sexual desire for him, and when we do have sex, I'm usually faking it and wishing it would stop. The only thing that resolves our arguments is sex, lately, and I think that is the reason I have no interest in it. We got engaged in March (despite all of the issues, we're still very much romantically in love) and since then the sex issue has been getting worse. We're currently fighting over skype about how he feels to guilty to touch me anymore, and I just don't know what to do! How do I get my sex drive back?! | My fiance and I have recently been fighting so frequently that I have lost all of my sexual desire for him, which is causing even more issues. What do I do? |
t3_2bfg1s | relationships | I'm [23m] probably going to ruin my girlfriends [23f] birthday | So this is the story. together for 3 years, we've always gotten each other great birthday presents, but last year I got in a fight about something stupid neither of us remember and she didn't end up getting me a present or doing anything for my birthday and instead just sent me an email pretty much just saying happy birthday".
Needless to say I was very hurt by this, when I tried talking to her about it she turned it around on me saying I was being an asshole for not appreciating her wishing me a good birthday. I ended up backing down, nothing got resolved and now her birthday is coming up and all I can think about are my hurt feelings from my birthday and I don't feel like getting her anything. This will probably erupt into a big fight if I don't get her something thoughtful, but my heart just isn't in it this year | Gf did nothing for my last bday because we got into a fight the week before, her bday is next week and I don't feel like getting her anything because of still hurt feelings |
t3_1u5ehn | legaladvice | DUI Metabolite for Marijuana in Utah. Honestly, I'm scared and need advice. | Reddit, I've done fucked up. Was havin a great night down in my Utahn hometown visiting my parents, then went to this girl's house to smoke a joint and hang out for a bit. We didn't finish the jay so I saved half of it for the ride home.
About 5 minutes before I get off the highway I get pulled over for speeding. Soon enough cop takes me out of the car because it reeked of smoke. Me being the *fucking moron* that I am didn't even toss the joint out of the window. I knew I was fucked if they searched the car so not knowing what else to do I admited to smoking the half joint. Go through field sobriety test, get arrested for DUI Metabolite (that is what the officer kept referring it as; one of the question I have is what this is/does it help me). *God, what will my mother do when she finds out about this...*
I spent the night in jail and paid ~$600 to get my car back. They told me to call back to arrange hearings in 5-8 days. This all happened on Sunday night. What I need to know now is what am I looking at as far as penalities.
Obviously I'm figuring probation, community service and fines. But will my license be suspended? Approximately how much will the fines be? Does the fact that it is a DUI Metabolite improve my situation? How does that compare to a regular DUI? Should I be getting a lawyer even though it is a pretty clear cut case? I don't make very much money, so I'm trying to keep my costs down. Essentially, would the cost of hiring a lawyer balance out with a reduced court fine? Or even, is there a possiblity of the case getting thrown out? (too much to hope for I know) | Got arrested for DUI because of half a joint. What do I face now? How do I prepare, short of getting a lawyer? |
t3_4tcm2v | tifu | TIFU by riding a shopping cart in Walmart | This fuck up happened Tuesday night and I will be paying for it for a couple of weeks. My friend and I stopped by the store to grab a few things and after him antagonizing me for the past 2 hours I decided to steal his cart and run off with it. It was pretty late so there wasn't a ton of people around but just to be safe I headed into an empty aisle and took off. I got a good running start and hopped onto the bar at the bottom and began coasting down the aisle. After a few seconds of feeling infinite I realized how childish it was and decided to get down before anybody saw me. I put my left foot down but the sandals I was wearing had zero traction and I continued to slide. Panicking, I pulled my right foot down quickly but got the heel of my sandal stuck on the bar and fell pretty hard on my bum. I was in a good deal of pain but not wanting to embarrass myself any further I laughed it off and continued with my night. I had a hard time sleeping as the pain wasn't getting any better. The next morning I got out of bed I headed for the bathroom as usual. This was when the pain got so excruciating that I nearly vomited and blacked out on the floor. I laid on the floor and texted my husband for help. We ended up going to the ER and what do ya know, I broke my tailbone. I guess that's what I get for being childish. | I was coasting down an aisle on a shopping cart when I lost my footing and fell on my ass, breaking my tailbone. |
t3_2jdum7 | relationships | Me [17 M] getting mixed signals from friend I'm trying to date [18 F] | So, short summary about me: I'm 17 and I haven't had a meaningful relationship before, and my only experience in dating was about 2 years ago for a short while before it ended abruptly.
Anyways, I met this girl a couple months ago and she's the first that I'm legitimately interested in after a while. I talk to her and it starts off pretty well, and I get her number. I text her for a while and I mean to ask her out pretty soon after. But when the day comes, she seems really detached and doesn't really talk to me that much.
Eventually, she stops replying to my texts altogether and I rack my mind trying to find out if I pissed her off or said something to drive her away. I never really made any offensive jokes or anything and kind of just put it off to the side and we eventually stopped talking altogether. But then one day she comes up to me and starts a convo. When I think about talking to her again, BOOM- nothing in return.
Is it worth continuing on or just ending it altogether? | Girl and I hit it off, get her number, she becomes distant all of a sudden but then starts talking to me again and then distant again. |
t3_4chhvl | relationships | Me [27F] with my coworker and work buddy [23F] of about a year. Suggestions for a "wild child" hanging with a religious conservative | If you have inherent bias against smoking weed, move it along.
"Wild Child" is what my grandma calls me. I'm not an alcoholic or anything, but aside from doing outdoors activities like hiking or biking or climbing etc., my friends and I are usually drinking and smoking. If I'm by myself or just chilling I like to smoke and read/ watch TV shows (on my laptop, I don't have an actual TV) and play with my cat.
The developer I work really closely with is from India and she is Hindu and doesn't smoke or drink at all. Once, when she first started at our company, she asked me to go to a One Direction concert with her. I'm not a fan, but I went and we had such a great time! I was drinking and smoking cigarettes the whole time, she didn't mind at all.
This weekend I invited her over to hang at my house for a gal's sleepover-type thing because we get along so well at work and we're buds. I'm really excited about it, I'm definitely going to be making lots of yummy foods to snack on, but what should we DO? I don't want her to be bored, and most of all I don't want to come up with dumb little-kid shit for us to do because she's not a child, she just doesn't drink. I know it sounds awful but I'm kind of at a loss here... I want us both to have a good time!
Also, should probably mention this, I don't have a TV. | My new friend is a conservative Hindu and I'm a white trash party monster (jokes) what should we do when we hang this weekend?! |
t3_4c6cgk | relationships | Me [27M] and boyfriend [27M] have different sex expectations - should we expect compromise? | Me [27M] and my boyfriend [also, 27M] have been together for over 8 years. We get on well, with the exception of our sex drives - mine is much higher than his. We never had a riotous sex life to begin with, but over the last 5-6 years it has severely reduced. I'll say now; I'm confident he's not having an affair.
At present, we mutually masterbate once a week; this is mostly initiated by me, and rarely includes oral contributions from him. We haven't had penetrative sex in around 4 years.
We've talked frankly over the last few years about increasing the frequency of our sex life, and (re)introducing penetrative sex. He says he doesn't need more sex, and doesn't want to have penetrative sex - but can appreciate that I do. Despite him stating that he understands my frustrations, he hasn't tried to improve the situation. We both feel guilty about being at odds, and it spoils some situations.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, and managed to amicably improve their sex life with their partner? Am I wrong to expect some compromise or improvement from him, when he's made it clear he isn't interested in changing - but that he does want to continue our relationship? | Boyfriend of 8 years doesn't want to change infrequent sex life, but does want to continue our relationship. Should I expect him to change, and have others been in this situation and did it resolve? |
t3_1aatsm | relationship_advice | Best way(s) to bring up previous relationship and what happened? | Hi all, 23M (me) and 19F dating 5 months. So generally speaking I really do not care or think about her past...but I couldn't help but notice an odd period in her relationships. For about a year she dated a guy, then there is an odd 4 month span after where a different guy would post love related things on her wall. Then, a few months after that, she was back into the other fellow. I am just confused at the timing of all of this so I am seeking advice on how to mention it so I can gain an understanding of what happened.
Additionally, I have had some trust issues (we are LDR) considering we see each other every other weekend at best. Recently when I was with her, I noticed she was texting one of those two guys again. Oddly enough, I also found out that guy is coming back into her area from being overseas for a year. I found none of this out through her, in fact she has never told me about either of the guys (just what I could find myself). She also seems to have removed him from Facebook (she also removed a prior hookup). To add it, we have been talking less and less as of late and my negative thoughts tell me they plan on seeing each other and all that jazz..please help me think rationally!! I worry she is living a Grade A double life and hiding things (removed them from FB so they can't post pics and whatnot)...
P.S. TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! :D | Girlfriends past relationships and their timing seem iffy (I worry cheating was involved), best way to bring it up? |
t3_3albi5 | relationships | My girlfriend (24F) of three years and me (25M) broke up mutually almost 3 months ago. I think she's moved on and I'm stuck. | My ex-girlfriend and I had been dating for 3 years before this. We'd had a great relationship but over the last year I think we became complacent. I was going to school and she was busy at work. We didn't have much money or time and even though we were essentially living together at her place, we weren't investing in the relationship.
I checked out to some extent and assumed that I would be able to do better. One night we had a discussion about the state of things and ended up breaking up. We lived together for 3 more weeks before she went to Europe for 2 months.
At first she seemed upset about things, but we didn't talk while she was gone. I ended up moving to a different city, but as soon as I did I felt immediate sadness, longing and regret. I still love her.
I ended coming back to that city for a weekend and unfortunately while drinking I let her know that I wanted to get back together. She said no. I was distraught.
Now to the worst part... I have the password for her facebook and I literally can't stop myself from logging in. I know it is so immature and childish, but I keep needing to know what is going on. She wasn't the best person before we dated (she cheated on her ex, and slept with a lot of people). When we dated she changed into this incredible person. Now, through her facebook I've discovered she has slept with a married guy who she works with, and now tonight invited another guy over. I feel betrayed because even after three years she has reverted to that person who she said she would never be.
I feel terrible for invading her privacy but I just can't seem to move on. I've been working out every day, attending events with friends, meeting new people... but nobody seems to compare. She is coming to my city in a couple weeks and is attending two big drinking events with my friends... I am concerned about how I will react.
I want her back so badly. I'm so hurt. I don't know how to move on... can anybody help? | Broke up with girlfriend of three years. Realised my mistake. She seems to have moved on. I have done all the usual things but am in love with the person she was in our relationship. |
t3_23rt2q | relationships | I [19/m] have very strong feelings for friend [19/f], she does not feel the same, it it fair for me to want to walk away | Alright so here's whats's up. Last school year I started to develop a crush on this girl, never really said anything about it, and we didn't really talk that much. I came back this school year and decided I was going to pursue her. I told her my feelings back in the Fall, she said she'd rather be friends and I said okay but told her she should keep me in mind cause we didn't know each other very well. anyway we start getting pretty close as friends, and the fact that I still had feelings for her came up a few times, we talked about it, nothing changed. Anyway over the past couple weeks she started getting very flirty with me. She has a very flirty personality but this seemed more over the top than usual, then one day she apologized for being too flirty and said it didn't mean anything. Then she also told me about how lonely she was and how she needed to hook up with someone. I told her I didn't exactly appreciate her telling me that, because as a guy that has made it very clear that I have feelings for her, that hurt my feelings a lot. Then she got mad at me saying that's not any of my business. anyway, we're stuck in this never ending stalemate, and she's afraid to lose me as a friends but then she also says maybe she shouldn't talk to me. I really can't take this roller coaster ride anymore, I personally feel that she has unfairly lead me on, and I kind of just want to walk away stop talking to her and more or less just be a complete stranger, but I know it's going to hurt her feelings a lot because she needs to be friends with everybody. I'm lost because she breaks my heart over and over again almost everyday, and I know I'm not gonna be able to talk to her if she becomes interested in someone else and she's affecting my sleep and athletics and grades, but I'm too afraid to hurt her feelings. and then there's the issue with the fact that I can't get over her for some reason. What the fuck do I do? | I have strong feelings for a girl, she doesn't feel the same but has lead me on for several months, I want to stop talking to her but it will hurt her feelings. idk what to do. |
t3_36tr3v | relationships | I [20M] have a crush on my friend [21 F] who lives on the other side of the country, but we haven't seen each other in a while. | Throwaway because she browses reddit. There's quite a bit of background to this but I'll do my best to avoid a wall of text.
I first met this girl my freshmen year of college about two years ago, where we shared classes together the first semester. We got to know each other relatively well and exchanged numbers, mostly for school related business. However we soon started hanging out more often, became friends on facebook, and became more casual with texts to the point where I developed a huge crush on her. I learned over the course of the semester that she had a boyfriend back in her home state but I knew better than to interfere so I continued our friendship until she ended up transferring at the end of the semester to another university in her home state.
At this point I practically forgot about her and didn't speak to her for about a year until facebook reminded me her birthday was coming up. Not wanting to conform to the usual facebook posts, I texted her in February because I'd saved her number and she actually replied back, thanking me. What happened next, I didn't expect. We've been texting ever since.
She asked me how I'd been, how my classes were coming, interests, and basically how life was. These conversations have been going on since February and while its been enjoyable, its been near torture because its brought up all the old feelings and the crush has resumed. She's texted me pictures of herself, started conversations, and casually mentioned once or twice that she'd broken up with her boyfriend. These are things no other girl in my entire life has ever shared with me. I'm not sure she is aware of my feelings for her.
Yes, I know I'm a bit of wuss for not admitting anything to her but the fact that she lives in another state and is unlikely to visit causes me to rethink everything every time. What I am looking to get out of this post is whether to just admit my feelings to her, or to slowly let this relationship slowly float away. Every single day that goes by is another day that the crush worsens. | Texting with a crush in another state who is probably unaware of my feelings. Do I admit everything or just let this one slide because we are unlikely to see each other? |
t3_2i4bmp | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [26M] of 6 months, don't know if the relationship is salvageable | My boyfriend and I have been together monogamously for 6 months. We dated off and on for about 6 months before that.
Lately things have gotten worse, and I am not happy in the relationship. I have considered ending it because of a few things-- we're arguing a bit more, his flaws annoy me way more than they did at the beginning, and our sex life has drastically decreased. I've been in LTRs before and did not experience this plateau or whatever you might call it. I cannot tell if we've just lost a bit of the excitement/happiness that comes with a new relationship or if we just aren't a match.
I've tried talking to him about it. I told him that I've been doubting things and started pointing out things that could be better (e.g., "It really bothers me when you do x, could you please try to work on it?"), while also being open to/asking for similar feedback from him. Nothing is getting better though. | Been with boyfriend 6 months. Can't tell if this is just a normal slump after the excitement of a new relationship or if we should part ways. Help! |
t3_riz3n | running | Should I enter a half-marathon? | Here's my life running story:
Before this year, I had never in my life ran for a mile without stopping to walk.
This January I went on a long-ish bike ride (15-20mi) every weekend, just for the hell of it. Well...okay fine, it was actually because my new years resolution was to "Be more active". Anyways, I enjoyed being outside (believe it or not!) and being active. I noticed a significant improvement in my stamina over just those 4 rides so I thought I would try running again.
I began running in February of this year, doing it 2-3x a week. I started out at 1.5-2mi, but still had to stop to rest.
I first ran 3mi without stopping on Feb 22 (10:00/mi).
Last Sunday, I ran 5.1mi without stopping (9:00/mi).
This is starting to get addicting because it feels great being outside, and it's fun tracking yourself as you improve (I'm using MapMyRun).
Today, I learned about the Chicago half-marathon which is on September 9 (5 months away).
Do you think I can get to half-marathon distance by that time? I can probably make it out 2x, maybe 3x a week until school ends in June, then I can run as much as I want (At least...I think my summer job won't be too demanding). The reason I'm asking here is because I don't have any experience with long-distance running and don't *really* know how difficult training for this will be, or what obstacles I could potentially face on the way to 13.1.
Event page: | Started running for first time ever in Feb, can do 5mi in 9min/mi now, is signing up (and training for) for half marathon on September 9 doable? |
t3_337cek | relationships | Me [22 M] with my ex girlfriend [21 F] for 3 years. Should I try to rekindle before we graduate college? | Hey everyone,
My ex girlfriend and I dated on and off for the first 3 years of college. I broke up with her because I wanted to experience more of life, and didn't want to be in a relationship through all of college. After we broke up, we continued to be in a weird, confusing half-dating stage that got real unhealthy for a year. It was unhealthy because she wanted to date, but I didn't want to, yet I didn't want her to leave my life because she was my best friend.
Anyways, it is both of our senior year and we have both been trying to move on, not talking, hooking up with other people, and trying to give ourselves reasons to dislike the other person.
However, I really miss this girl. She used to be my best friend and our personalities are so compatible. I only have 40 days left until we graduate from college, and then we will likely never see each other again. In this last 40 days, I want to end college on a positive note with her just like the way we started it. I guess I want to have an open relationship with her until we
graduate. I know things were ugly for a while, so I am willing to put in as much effort that's needed to make things healthy again. Do you guys think this is a good idea? I think I would regret it if I never talked to her again, or if we both ended college with resentment towards the other person. How should I go about telling her this? | I want to rekindle with my ex-girlfriend for the last 40 days of college before we never see each other again. Is this a good idea? How should I go about it? |
t3_4m4r93 | relationship_advice | Me [21/M] Confused And Looking To End 5 Year On & Off Again Relationship With GF [21/F] What Should I Do? | Me and my girlfriend have been in an on and off again relationship since we were freshmen in high school. We ended up going to the same college and started dating again our sophomore year. At first, things were going really well! However, as time went on, we started to have small arguments where she would just cry hysterically until I said I was sorry even if it wasn't my fault. All of these arguments and lack of compromise have caused me to become very anxious and resent the relationship.
So one night after a really bad fight, I decided to sack up and attempt to break up with her. Her tear-filled response was that **she wanted to marry me and have kids with me** along with repeating "I can't do it I can't do it I need you I need you". How the fuck do you break up with someone after they say something like that?!
Anyways, now she has none of her own friends at home nor at college except for me and my friends. If I were to break-up with her she would lose all of her friends that she has met through me.
What should I do? Should I stick it out until we graduate and hope for the best and continue to be unhappy, or rip the band-aid off? | Unhappy relationship, decided to sack-up and break-up; she told me she wanted to have my babies. |
t3_4eo4uo | offmychest | I basically feel like I was lied to by all of my teachers. | Ever since I was a kid the only job I ever saw myself doing was teaching and, in particular, teaching history. I was passionate about school and my teachers encouraged me to go to college so that I could get a degree and become a history teacher.
Fast-forward to today and now that I've been subbing for the last three months and I've had the opportunity to speak as a colleague to the very same teachers who encouraged me to go to college it seems that all that encouragement was just for show. "You should have studied math and science. Can you coach? Oh, good luck with that!" are all a sample of the things I've heard over these past few months. The brutal irony being that these were the same people who encouraged me to go to college and teach history in the first place!
If this is what these people really think then I wish they would have just told me so when I was a student of theirs. Given the STEM circlejerk, I know I'm unlikely to find much sympathy on this site but I still feel like I had to put this out there.
In the meantime I'm trying to get credentialed in other subjects in the hopes that I'll become more marketable. When students ask me about going to college I'm certainly not as cavalier about it as the people who encouraged me to go were. | Teachers encouraged me to go to college to become a history teacher. Only now that I'm a substitute do they reveal to me that they thought it was a bad idea all along. |
t3_3bd38w | relationships | I've fallen for a girl so hard I feel like I have no control over myself. How do I become "me" again? | We've (I'm 23, she's 24) been "dating" but not committed for 4 or 5 months. We've spoken about committing and figure it's something we see in the future, just not now, if any of that matters.
Basically I've fallen for her so hard that her moods affect my moods. The way she responds to my jokes, good or bad, decide whether I feel good about myself that day. If she's quiet and doesn't want to talk, my brain overclocks and can't focus on anything other than figuring out some way to make her smile.
It's not healthy, I know that. It might sound clingy or needy - I guess it _is_ but I don't _act_ clingy. It's just my thoughts that I need to get control over.
I want to be happy alone again. I don't want to be thinking about her _constantly_ when I'm not actively chatting to her. I want to be able to sit down and play a video game or watch a movie without thinking "would she be enjoying this movie?" or "I wonder what she's up to".
I'm in love - I know that. It's not a bad thing, but I need to stop letting my relationship with her affect my self esteem. What's the best way to go about doing that? | The way things are going with my crush directly affects the way I feel about myself and I want to gain some control over my emotions. What's the best way to disconnect the two? |
t3_akbo2 | AskReddit | Reddit, how about a New Year's resolution for our community: Take back /r/Politics and /r/Worldnews | For the uninitiated: Many of us can agree that /r/politics only allows extreme liberal or libertarian comments to garner any discussion, and often mindless comments like "lolz, bush sux" get hundreds of upvotes. Everything else is downvoted until it's out of sight or dismissed merely for disagreeing with popular opinion, no matter how well-researched or supported. And /r/worldnews has become a monoculture of "fuck Israel, fuck the USA, fuck the CIA/mossad" with almost no redeeming discussion of foreign events. Even suggesting that the protests in Iran aren't all CIA-instigated covert ops to lead us to war with Iran will get you silenced. Meanwhile every idiot conspiracy theorist who reposts a wikipedia link to Operation Ajax or a handful of other circumstantial bits of internet "wisdom" gets flooded with upvotes. A lot of the registered members here did so specifically to remove these subreddits from our front page.
First off, I know reddit isn't my personal army and that there is a general disinterest in "forcing" people to obey reddiquette with posts like this asking for change.
Having said that, I think we can do much better than the current echo chambers in these two subreddits. It seems that reasoned debate has been drowned out by majority opinions to the point where merely proposing a differing view is downvoted until it's out of view. Given AskReddit's recent trend of coming together to help individual users in need, I thought now would be a good time to solicit discussion about improving the diversity of opinions in certain subreddits. AskReddit has a history of supporting unpopular opinions (it's not perfect, but at least there is evidence the community is changing for the better).
So, I ask you reddit: Can we improve the quality of discussion in these subreddits? Should we try? If you agree or disagree, please let loose in the comments. | AskReddit is a pretty good community for discussion because of the respect for differing opinions- should we actively promote the same thing in other subreddits? |
t3_1ia2pa | relationships | I [25/m] am confused on her [24/f] "control game" while dating. | I've noticed a trend where despite her being extremely attracted to me and her fitting me into her busy schedule, each time when it comes time to a date she likes to seem "in control" of the date before hand.
For example, on our 4th date she agreed to see me today when she's done studying. I called, and then left a text message, saying I had a low key idea of what to do and call me back whenever. Besides that she (legitimately) took four unnecessary hours to call me back, I missed the call and she texted me immediately this (she was on her way to meet up with colleagues for dinner)
> Tomorrow depends a little on how much studying I can get in, but I'll let you know if tomorrow will work sometime in the afternoon, ok? Have a good night!
She did this before our fourth date, too, something similar in tone. Then while out she completely is into me, and she's opening herself emotionally and personally more than ever.
Why does she like to feel in control? | Girl likes to feel "in control" over the planning of the date, but while out she's completely completely into me. Why? |
t3_23r5gp | relationships | Me [19f] with my best friend [20M], confused about his feelings toward me. | So my best friend and I have known each other for four years. We hit it off right at the start. Our personalities go great together, and I've always been glad to be so close to someone.
To keep this short and sweet, he's been saying things like: "I wish more girls had your personality," or "You have a perfect personality." Shit like that. Now this sounds like total friendzoning. But he also says he would fuck me anytime, and that I have a nice body... physical stuff like that. (I should note that we have a weird relationship. We're pretty open with each other.)
And yet when I ask straight up if he likes me, he will deny it. I don't understand. If he, in a weird sense, seems to be searching for a girl with my type of personality, and also says he'd bang me if I'd give him the chance, what am I missing? We're great friends, and I'm not sure if I'd date him or not, but I'm just curious as to how a good personality + a bangable body does not equal liking someone. | My best friend says I have a perfect personality and a nice body, but that he doesn't like me. Confused about he *is* feeling toward me... |
t3_2e3728 | relationships | Me [22M] with my Girlfriend [24F] of 11 months. Even after almost a year of relationship, my girlfriend is very jelous about other girls. | She was a little like this since we started, she didn't wanted me to go out on a party with my friends when she was travelling (she travels a lot because of her job) and was jelous about my other female friends that she didn't know. I always liked/hated this because it shows that she cares about me but also don't trust me that much.
We would fight from time to time about it, how she was always overreacting but she kept insisting that I was lying and creating hipoteses that I was cheating her.
And so I though this would change with time and she would gain more trust on me, but after almost a year she still does it.
She keeps finding more reasons to prove that I'm cheating her and bringing things from the past, Yesterday she mentioned something about a comment I made on a female friend picture the same week we started dating, an friendly comment that I would never remember about but she says I was hitting on her.
In my point of view that means that she still can't trust me after all this time and no matter how I trustworthy I am to her she doesn't change. Yes, talked with her about it but when things look like are going to change she does it again. I don't know how to deal with her anymore, apart from that we always have a great time, but I need a advice to make her be less jelous. | My girlfriend is too jelous and for me its a sign that she can't trust me no matter what. Need advice on how to deal with this situation. |
t3_2hscwq | relationships | I [24 M], just dumped by my BF [24 M] of 11 months am discovering again how frustrating and surreal the dating scene is. | So I was in love and he wasn't after all. Heartbroken. Moving on, it's been a week and in the last 4 months of the relationship we had almost no sex at all. I can't go in to the dating scene fresh off a dumping while desperate for sex and companionship so I make sure to just take it slow and easy at first. No dates the first week after, just friends.
Like an IDIOT, I download a couple of dating apps and delete all but Scruff because the people there struck a balance just palatable enough for me to use. Even still, I am finding guys IN MY AREA whos only activities seem to be working out, international travel, and sex.
Who the hell are these ubermensch? God I feel inadequate. Sure I might be saddled with student loans and working a crummy 9 to 5 but hey man I've got enough going right? I've been working out with gains, I have a dog, big schlong, good humor. Its just I got lucky with this last one because I had finally met somebody organically and not in a college setting! Now I'm back to trying my luck finding gays in the wild barrens of Bucks County PA au naturale or with the use of apps who prominently feature greek gods cut from marble who only want to bone and sip champagne in Hong Kong.
FML | Newly single, WHO ARE THESE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE ON THE INTERNET??? And they are so picky! |
t3_cl4u3 | AskReddit | Ask Canadians: DAE find Americans to generally be stupid and ugly? | I just got back fro Seattle the other weekend, I live in Vancouver. It's not just that they are fatter than us (which they are) it's that they are just generally uglier. They look like shit. A lot of them had crappy clothes and bad complexions or whatever. Just street after street of ugly, ugly people. And they were useless as well. We went to a micro brewery and I asked the guy serving us if he knew of any other micro breweries in the city. He said they had another micro brewery across town of the same name. My friends and I were like "Why would we want to go to the same brewery across town? We mean a *different* brewery". He said he didn't know. That's like working at McDonals and someone asks if there's any other restaurants around. You go "Yeah, there's another McDonald's across town". "What about a restaurant that's not McDonald's?" "I have no idea". There was more, so fucking stupid and ugly race. | Americans are stupid and ugly. Please share stories about how stupid and ugly they are. If you're an American your not needed in this thread, move along thx |
t3_1rnhzf | needadvice | How do I tell this guy that i already paid him? | My 3 friends and I live in an apartment. Before we started writing everything down, George asked for twenty dollars to give to Arnold for the internet.
But later, I questioned him when Arnold came up to me and asked me for twenty dollars and he told me that it's for the game I borrowed and will pay for. Or rather that I have paid for. We all got into a big argument , no yelling. But we decided that we will write all transactions down.
So I figured everything was settled with this game and I paid everything off. George still treats it as his game and as if I haven't paid it yet. We didn't write it down but nick and I heard that I paid off the game.
But why would I be asking this question if I could just use nick to testify for me? Because lots of things happened. We all decided to kick George out of the apartment. He was practically insufferable to live with and this is one of those reasons. His faulty memory. Nick no longer wants to deal with him and so there has been lots of tension in the house. | guy faulty memory. Thinks I still owe him money. Can't have a friend testify cuz we've been super cutthroat against the guy. How should I approach this guy with faulty memory? |
t3_1jxwi7 | relationships | Me[25M] with my girlfriend [24M/F] 1,5 years, my own inexperience became a bigger issue for me after she kissed another guy | Long story short, I had a fight with my girlfriend, we didn't speak for a week and she kissed another guy, not once but three times.
We had long talks about this. She said she thought the relationship was over and there was no future for us. I think I could get over that somehow, but I have another issue with this.
I am very inexperienced. I used to be extremely shy and self-conscious, had my first kiss and girlfriend at the age of 21. Now this girl is just my second girlfriend, the second girl I've kissed and the second girl I slept with. She has a little bit more experience than me. I'm her third sexual partner, but she has kissed plenty of guys in the past. I've always had an issue with that but I managed to live with it because I really like her.
Now this happened and it became a much bigger issue for me. I could live with her having more guys in the past because now we had a thing together and I was the only one who could get close to her. But now I feel like she has moved a step forward and I'm left behind. I gave up on getting other girls because I wanted to be with her, but now she shared this intimacy with someone else.
I kinda want to go out and make out with some random girl, not to do the same thing to her that she did to me, but just for myself, so I feel like we're on the same level again. At the same time I know I can't expect her to be ok with that. How do I deal with this? | Girlfriend more experienced than me, kissed another guy after we didn't talk for a while, now I want to make out with other girls. |
t3_2eq5c7 | relationships | My (21M - Pilot) SO (21F - Student) leaving for school 6 hours away... | Hi guys this is my first post in /ralationships, ill try to give the best explanation i can.
Some history first, I went to school in the same city my SO is currently going to. I have graduated and moved back home to our hometown (we are both from the same town). Many of our best friends are mutual friends between us, but amazingly we just met at the beginning of the summer through our friends! Since day 1, it would be something I would consider instant compatibility...we share the same values, outlook on life, interests etc. We spent the entire summer with each other; going to concerts together, drives into the city, walks on the beach, i've taken her flying (im a pilot by profession) and we have introduced each other to our families! I have had 3 serious relationships in the past but there is something special about her. We have only known each other for a few months, however we both consider one another bestfriends. Just to we waited to have sex until about a month and a bit of dating.
The other day I asked her when she moves away from school, where did she think our relationship will stand. She wants me to come visit when I can (she invited me to stay at her place anytime!), and still talk to one another regularly. However she does not yet want to commit to a full relationship because she was hurt in the past by doing the long distance thing (about 3 years ago) and her school schedule is very very busy. I was a little disappointed however I understand where she is coming from. She recognized my disappointment, and confessed she was very sad to leave and not see me as often and began crying (I should clarify, her friends told me she is not the one to get attached to people). Also, I do not know where I will be working in the coming months. I am a newly licensed commercial pilot, and my work may take me across the country for months at a time due to my experience.
I want to keep what we have going, however I feel like the distance may cause more hurt than good. Any comments or advice would be appreciated :) | SO moving 6 hours away for last year of school. Im a newly licensed commercial pilot and can be working anywhere in the country in the coming months. |
t3_3yu0sb | tifu | TIFU by eating all of my friend's Tostitos | Like most FUs on this subreddit this did not happen today. It was closer to around 7 or 8 months ago.
It's around early May. The school year is beginning to come to a close and the weather isn't absolute shit. It's a Saturday. I am working on an art project with my friend on the different type of album covers. After I was done narrating the necessary parts, I asked my friend if I could have anything to eat. He told me to take a look in the pantry and to eat whatever I want. I find some Tostitos, and I procede to munch on them. I hadn't eaten much that morning, so needless to say I was really hungry. I pretty much ended up eating most of the content within the bag (with my friend putting a few dents in the corn chips here and there).
Fast forward to late Sunday night. I get a text from my friend. For a bit of context, We also had a project for Spanish. We had to make some food from a Spanish speaking country. This project just so happened to be due the next day, and my friend had made some salsa for this project. I check my messages and [I see these three texts from my friend] ( I had eaten the chips he was going to use for the project.
He did end up getting some chips in the morning. But it goes without saying that he wasn't too happy with my ratty Tostitos eating ass. | Ate all of my friends Tostitos, needed them for a project, he got saltier than corn chips. |
t3_2wowyr | tifu | TIFU by finding my tinder date's blog. (NSFW) | Been talking to this girl I met on tinder. She's cute, we play the video games, like the same shows, talking to her is easy, everything is going well. I was planning to meet up with her next week.
When we were texting she brought up her blog once or twice, she said something like 'i feel like i'm dating my blog sometimes'. i asked her what it was but she never replied to that. so me being an idiot i decide to creep it up. She followed me on instagram, and I thought hey, it's probably the same username. So i typed in her instagram name plus ".tumblr.com" and what do you know, it's her blog.
This is the moment I should have stopped. Instead, I look through a few pages trying to see what she's interested in. She's a nerdy girl and we both have a lot of shared interests. There's a button that says "My selfies". Sure, why not. Selfie, selfie, selfie, picture of her butt, picture of her tits, what a second, are these all just nudes? and before I know i'm on a page full of nudes of this girl that she'd taken and posted. In her regular selfie tag. I mean, i'm not complaining too much, but it kind of ruins the surprise. I like that moment when you haven't seen each other naked yet and you're taking everything in. At this point I definitely should have stopped. I keep scrolling and what do i find but very graphic pictures of her blowing a dude who i assume is her ex, posted no less than a few weeks ago. And not to get into too much detail, but her ex is packing a lot more heat than I am.
So now I feel pretty bummed out. I definitely should have stopped at several points and I didn't because I suck with girls. Now I don't know what to do. I've been having a great time talking with her. But she is probably still hung up on her ex and i've been down that road before. On top of that i'm worried that if we were to actually get together, I wouldn't be able to satisfy her. i'm pretty much the definition of average down there. | tifu by trying to find more things to talk about with a cute girl, ended up seeing her ex's much larger dick in her mouth. |
t3_kuaqs | AskReddit | Facebook has prevented me from changing my birthday to the real date. Can I do anything about this? | So a little back story to this predicament...
After receiving the inevitable flood of "Happy Birthdays" by people, I decided to change my birthday to a few days after my real birthday as a type of social experiment. Again, I got a flood of "Happy Birthdays" so I decided that I was going to change my birthday everyday until it was my real birthday again to see if people actually knew my real birthday. It was my birthday everyday from June 7th to August 17th.
Then on August 18th when I go to change my birthday, I am welcomed by this message:
Seven days later the message changes to this:
Then on the eighth day I was allowed to change it again, which I changed to the 18th in a haze. But ever since I haven't been allowed to change it at all except for three options: August 16, 17, or 18.
I never knew there was a policy about changing your birthday too much, and now I can't even change it back to my real birthday. I emailed them back at the end of August saying I was doing a "social experiment" but I got the standard auto-reply back.
Is there anything that I can do from here? Has anybody else encountered this same issue? | Changed my birthday every for two and a half months on facebook and now I can't change it. What can I do? Happen to you? |
t3_1ypwrt | relationships | How do I [26 M] deal with my ex [24 F] in social situations? | My ex and I dated for just over 2 years. It's been about 2 years now since we broke up for good. For about a year or so, we hung out often as friends. Even though she had a new boyfriend, I stayed single (by choice). Then, for no clear reason, we stopped hanging out as much. It seemed mutual at first, but now she won't answer my texts, and when we do see each other, she treats me like a stranger. The worst part is, we both have the same overarcing social circle. She'll hang out with my roommate and best friend, usually during the same period that she's not texting me, or giving me the silent treatment, or whatever it is she's doing, and then I'll hear about it afterwards from them. It's been messing with my head.
Now I just found out she and I are both DJing at the same party. It's making me mentally exhausted, thinking about how to deal with her at this thing. On one hand, I don't want to be friends with her anymore. On the other, I want to present myself as congenial and not bitter that she's an awful person towards me (this is for both our sakes and everyone who's going to be at the party). Any advice on how to come out of this thing with my dignity intact? | Used to be friends with my ex. Now she doesn't answer my texts and treats me like a stranger. She and I have the same friends. We're going to be at the same party this weekend. Halp? |
t3_n17qb | personalfinance | Pay off 50k in student loans, or put large chunks of cash toward first child's education (incoming in March)? | Quick summation: I'm 30, have our first child on the way (Due in March) and have roughly $60k in student loans @4.75% (min payment of $387). I just paid off my 2009 car, and can be throwing ~$1000/mo at my loans. I'm sure things will change a little bit as the rugrat starts to require ample cash :)
Do I keep that up, until I theoretically pay them off in 5 years, then start aggressively saving for our child's education? Or do I split the difference and take longer to pay off the student loans while putting some away for the child starting at day 1?
Other facts of note: This is all after wife/I putting 10% toward 401k and fully funding IRA.
My first inclination is to aggresively pay my loans off. My wife however thinks that we should start saving from Day 1 (her college was paid for by her parents and feels like it's a #1 priority). I feel like it is a priority too, and would love to provide that, but I still haven't paid off MY education yet! | Pay off $60k in student loans @4.75% first, then save for kids college, or do both at the same time? |
t3_u8lh8 | AskReddit | Need some career/life advice Reddit, what do can I do? | I've just graduated with a 1st Class Marketing degree, and since I was 17 I've been helping my Dad's small graphic design company with producing websites, I'm the only person that can build websites. As time has gone on, the my Dad has become more dependant on me to produce these website for his clients.
As my Dad is self employed, we've had a really difficult financial period that has only been saved by PPI claims (mis sold loan insurance) being paid out to save us of many debts. As I've now finished university, money is still tight, my Dad is still very dependant of me but cannot afford a new Mac wish would be vital for him to start learning what I do. We are still waiting on a few PPI claims (which could still takes months to come through) and the result of those will really determine our future.
At the same time, I don't want to be building websites all my life, I want to start applying for graduate jobs but I'm being held back by supporting my family. It feels like a massive burden that I'm supporting my own family and I don't have the chance to do what I really want to do, and I'm scared that if I get too sucked in, I'll never leave home and will be a very miserable person.
What do I do? Any advice or guidance to where I can get advice is greatly appreciated. | I want a real career but I'm being held back by the burden of working for my Dads business and keeping it going |
t3_1hwyqq | relationships | I[F/17] dunno what to expect with boyfriend[M/18]/our relationshipp when he goes to college | We've been together for a little over a year now and overall, our relationship is wonderful. Being as he's going to college and I still have another year to go before I head out, I'm not sure what to expect.
He's rather attractive, and I'd say I'm not too shabby either. We both plan to attend colleges on either end of the U.S. though. Anytime we talk of the future, it's about the distant future. Like during college, etc. Not before.
I just am not sure if it's better to stay in this and hope for the best, or do what everyone and everything is telling me and break it off before we hit the books again. Is it possible to stay happily taken from that kinda distance? Could it work? Is it better to move on and start fresh? | Boyfriend and I are going to college on opposite sides of the country. Is it better to hold on or break it off? |
t3_ma3nl | relationship_advice | Guy I'm dating is paraphrasing anecdotes from Reddit. Need advice. | I met a guy a few weeks ago. We've gone out on several casual your typical run of the mill coffee/sausage & beer dates but nothing serious. I like him. Even after the first encounter during the 'are you a serial killer' vetting process, I felt like I knew him for years. And that I knew him a little too well. He's funny and always has the right deadpan one liner response for everything. At first I thought, 'damn, we have the exact same sense of humor. yes, yes and YES!.' Upon further thought and with suspicion growing, he jokes seemed a bit too familiar.
Don't get me wrong, quite often I get my source of inspiration from Reddit. I've taken more than my fair share of jokes from here, but like an honest person, I usually say where i heard it from giving credit where creative credit is due.
Back to the story. So I began to see this familiar reddit-like theme with his joke telling. That's okay. I brushed it off. Fast forward to two weeks ago. We were in the middle of our usual story telling session, when it was his turn, he came out with this [gem] swapping out the gay boyfriend for his ex-girlfriend.
It took me forever to find the story on Reddit, but when I did, there was no denying it. I was dating a paraphraser. Since then, I've caught him saying at least three other stories that I remember reading. Finding them was impossible, but these stories I could clearly recall as having seen them before. | I am dating a guy who is crediting stories on reddit as his own. What do I need to do to keep dating this man but make him stop with the paraphrasing? |
t3_34pa13 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [19] Month and half, Starting to really like her, but I am going away for 6 weeks then she will be going to University. What do I do? | Me and Alessia started seeing each other about a month and a half ago, I have come to really be fond of her. Maybe even love. It's not happened for 2 years for me, feeling this way. All previous recent relationships have felt just for sex. This one feels different.
Sadly I will be going away for 6 weeks for work in 2 weeks, and felt more and more than I am dreading going. When I get back she is going to University in September about an hour and a half away. I just feel very turn as I am really enjoying our relationship and feel committed. Maybe it's too early to tell, and I will just have to try and disconnect whilst I am away as neither of us are good at LDR and understand the complications with it.
I think I'm writing this to really just get an idea of what I should try and do in the next 2 weeks, whilst I'm away, when I come back and when she leaves. | I really like new GF, I am going away for work for 6 weeks, think I'll miss her and losing something not had for awhile. Then she leaves a month later when I return. What do I do? |
t3_2dofv0 | relationships | Me [24F] with my dating issues... | So I'm not quite sure where to begin, but I started seeing a guy a little over a month ago and we really hit it off. Unfortunately he got transferred to move several hours away. I was crushed because we both decided it wouldn't be practical to continue a relationship since my school load will be extremely heavy in the fall and he works several hours a week.
Like I said, I am crushed. I know I shouldn't have gotten so attached because we had only really known each other for a month. It also sucks that the chemistry is there, but a LDR just really isn't for us. I will be 25 years old next month and have yet to be in a relationship that has lasted longer than 6 months. I am happy for people that are in loving, committed relationships, but deep down I am sad because I have not yet experienced that and it's starting to take a toll on my depression. If anyone has any advice, please do share, and thank you. | My lack of dating/relationships has taken a toll on my depression. I'm trying hard not to let it get me down but it's difficult. |
t3_20t5b9 | relationships | [21M] broke up with girlfriend [21F] over text message | I was dating a girl and it was short, just under 3 months, but very intense from both sides. She wanted a relationship while I was worried about getting hurt, but she convinced me. Then she wanted me to go live with her to another city, which I was happy to because I honestly thought it was going to work out.
A week ago she started becoming cold and distant. I realized I was losing her, but when I confronted her she insisted she still loves me. Last weekend, a day before we were to leave for the city together (flatviewing, she had university, I had a job interview) she says after I insist on knowing the truth that she no longer feels the way she used to feel about me. She said she doesn't know why and claimed she hadn't met anyone else.
Nothing changed about our relationship to this point. I was devastated. She told me she needs some time alone, a break or something. I suggested breaking-up, but she refused that it seems hasty and rushed.
I left for the city because I wanted to attend said job interview anyway. After the interview, I called her and asked to meet up. I told her to meet me at the bus station, which probably was what tipped her off. She texted me "If you want to break-up, we don't have to meet for that". I texted back "Ok. Its over"
I did it because I figured it was the only way to save the relationship. My logic is that if we took a 'break', she'd know that I was just on hold and she had the power in that relationship, so by breaking up completely, she may just realize if I am worth losing or not. | Girl said she didn't love me anymore, wanted some time alone. She wanted a break, but I dumped her because I saw it as the only chance at ever getting back. |
t3_stb39 | relationships | I love my boyfriend, but he becomes extremely belligerent and argumentative after he's been drinking. How do I approach him about it? | As I said in the title, I love my boyfriend. We've been together for 2.5 years, and we're supposed to be moving in together at the beginning of September. I am 20, and he is 22. However, every time he drinks, he becomes extremely belligerent. When I try to tell him that he's drunk, I've been drinking, and we should talk about it in the morning when we can better understand each other without the cloud of alcohol, he starts arguing.
Yesterday, he spent two hours yelling at myself and one of his friends about how we "never listen to him". When we told him we should talk about it outside so as not to wake everyone else in the house, he started yelling even louder and forced me to "look him in the eyes while he's talking to me", and accused me of never listening and not being attentive as a girlfriend. At this point I started crying and left. When I returned, he attempted an apology but ended up ranting again about how I "never listen". He's done things like this before, but it only happens when he's been drinking. I DEFINITELY appreciate his argument, and told him that I understand his feelings about me "not listening", but this doesn't seem to get through to him.
Mainly, I'm looking for advice on how to talk to him about this. He's not an alcoholic - we rarely drink. I just don't know how to calmly approach him and tell him that his behaviour towards me and his friends while he's drinking is not okay. Any tips on how to go about this? | My boyfriend's an asshole when he drinks. How do I nicely/calmly tell him this needs to change because he's hurting his relationships? |
t3_4l9kuu | relationships | How can I (14F) convince my mom (43F) to give me a later curfew? | My mom and I are fairly close, and my dad has started traveling for work. So it's usually now just me and her.
My curfew at the moment is 10:30 on good days, and she always tries to tell me to come home early but I convince her to stay out later. Before I could come home at any time, but then I forgot to pick up my phone when my parents called and it was on silent. My dad (when he was here with us) found me in the mall and I was talking to my friends and we were with some older guys who were my friends cousins, but it didn't look like it. My father embarassed me infront of my friends and told me to go home. It was 9:30 at the time. He got pissed I was with older guys and he told my mom we were all hugging and hanging out, but we weren't. I had just said hi and all.
My mom hates when I go out late now after that incident, she thinks I'm doing bad things but I'm really not. My curfew at the moment is 10:30, but when she calls I need to beg her to stay out until then and she is like "Ok fine! Last time you do it!" but it's not the last time.
My friends get to stay out until 11:30 or midnight, and my mom wants me at 10:30. I want to get a later curfew, but my mom won't let me. She thinks I will get myself in trouble, when we really aren't. We just hang out around the pools and chat, and we don't get in trouble. Plus, my mom makes it all about herself too. She is all like "oh I don't want to be alone all night because your father is not working here."
I see her point, but I have a social life too. My mom and I usually sit in the balcony and have our heart to heart's so we usually spend time together. How do I convince her to get a later curfew like my friends have? | my mom wont let me have a later curfew like my friends do and thinks i will do bad things, how do i convince her? |
t3_4u2z5h | relationship_advice | [20F] When do I ask [31M] what our relationship status is? | Hello everyone, thanks for giving this a read (-: I met a guy online and it just so happened that he lives in the same town as me. We've talked every single day since we met and immediately clicked. We talked for a month, before we finally met each other. I was concerned about the whole "people online are different in person" thing, but once we met it was obvious we had a lot of chemistry. A couple days after meeting for lunch, I went to his house and he was very respectful. Nothing happened while I was there and we just hung out with each other. I went over again the next day and things progressed a bit more, but again he was respectful of what I wanted to do. He invited me over again a couple days later. I visited him yesterday and things went further, but no sex. We are planning to see each other again today. Anyways, things are going great, I really like him. It feels like we are basically dating... but I am honestly not quite sure. I will be going back to school soon, and it will be 2 hours away... so I want to figure out what's going on before I go back.
Should I just flat out be asking him this? When would a good time to ask him be? Should I ask sooner or closer to when I leave? I'm not really sure if he's itching to ask me what our "status" is, which is why part of me wanted to wait and see if he brings it up. | Met a guy on internet, met in person and he has invited me to hang out several times the past couple weeks, curious to when I should ask if we are "together" |
t3_281zwp | legaladvice | Speeding Ticket Advice | Soooo... I am 17 years old and have had my lisence for one year with no previous infractions of the law. Yesturday I was going 91 in a 65, and got pulled over by a cop in the wonderful state of Conneticut. The cop said he could have had me arrested for reckless driving but decided to let me off the hook because I was a new driver and gave me a ticket for going 85 mph. My question is if I tried to fight the ticket in court becuase the fine was a whopping 385 dollars could I get into further trouble if he brought out the radar gun and it read 91 MPH when he wrote me down for going 85 mph? My parents want me to fight the ticket, but I am too scared to tell Them I actually got pulled over for doing 91 rather than 85 becuase they are already pissed enough. | Got a ticket for going 85 in a 65 when cop said I was actually going 91, should I contest the ticket or just pay the fine? |
t3_2uro30 | personalfinance | Comcast credit pulls? | CreditKarma updated recently, yay!
So that is how I found out, I have been using CreditKarma for a long time and had bad credit in the past due to school loans (paid off now). It was finally going up as I got a car and started making payments. Went from low 500 to 630 up until February when I checked it this morning and now at 520???
I noticed TransUnion only counting 1 pull from Toyota Finance, but I checked Equifax (newly added to CreditKarma) and it has several pulls from both Toyota & Comcast.
The location I live in his a shared house, and I have been trying to get internet from Comcast for 2 years, trying every 4-5 months hoping they allow me. Old owner of the **other side** I am renting at has large debt with them so they refuse to service that house. Recently they finally split the house into 2 address (Side A & Side B) so now I can have service but not going to till this is fixed.
The Toyota finance also shows up 3 times in a matter of 2 weeks (long negotiation) and as far as I know I only allowed them to pull it once and was only told once. I will be heading there but if that doesn't work out will probably also have to send whoever it concerns a letter to fix this. | Comcast pulled my credit every time I tried getting service due to split house (2 different families). How do I get them to remove it? |
t3_3doh8l | offmychest | I think my brothers secretly gay for me | Okay, so long story short: I don't think my brother, whose 21, has ever hooked up with a girl, or even kissed one. He goes to U of I and hes pretty awkward, shy and mumbles a lot. He looks at me weird, like all girly like, smiles flirtaciously at me sometimes, and it's really fucking awkward. I can't even look the dude in the face to be honest. Flashback to my senior year of high school - I awoke to my shorts being half off, with the lights turned on, and I heard him make this weird awkward noise... I, half-asleep and kind of scared, pulled them up and threw a blanket on me and immediately fell back asleep. Since then this has been so fucking awkward and I don't know how to deal with it. I really think he's gay and gay for me, which is really fucked up. What do I do? This is on my mind all the time, especially now because during the summer we're both home from college... | older brother is gay for me, pretty sure he was trying to sexually assault me, and it's been awkward for years between me and him.. what do I do? |
t3_hpc43 | AskReddit | My girlfriend got raped of sorts. Help plz | Hey reddit i need your help. My girlfriend is a young woman eagerto make friends in a new town. She went to a party where she was peer pressured into taking mdma. She ate a pussy of some random and these guys throwing the party orchestrated as they sat and watched. She was so embarrased aboutit i dug and dug till i found out. Thats the long story short. Now heres what im asking. Too late for police action with any solid evidence. Im doing something im good at bein bad. Im planning a home invasion. And im going to hurt these people im asking you for ideas and help on scoping the place out. Various knockout chemicals and tools needed. Torture ideas and identity concealing. I want my revenge. If you do not wanna help dont judge pls. | girlfriend was drugged and encouraged to dyke out well randoms watched. I wanna break in there house and torture them without bein caught. Help! |
t3_3t0lq7 | relationships | My [27F] employee [30sF] is waging a social media campaign against a local business. Do i help her? | We work a night shift, and we get off work at 1am. We had an unofficial team outing at a resort just last week (company is not liable). My employee was injured at the resort pool around 4am--there was a piece of glass at the pool bottom--and she left before regular office hours, so she could go to the hospital for stitches. There was no management available at the time.
When we tried to speak with the manager, they asked for the employee to come back so they can inspect the injury themselves. We declined, since the employee was already at the hospital at that point. And every day after that, I tried to contact management to see if anything could be done.
The only reply I received was that they cleaned the pool and found nothing. Also, they reminded us that there's a fine for breaking bottles in the pool, implying that we did this ourselves. They then said they would contact us about CCTV footage to confirm what happened.
Then radio silence after that. I tried to contact them again, but no response. Now my employee wants to conduct a social media campaign against them.
Here's my actual question: What should i do to support her? Should i share her posts? Or should i encourage her to let it go since we have no pictures or other evidence? | Injured employee wants to conduct a campaign against local resort. As her manager, how do i best handle this situation? |
t3_2q0bsy | relationships | My(21F) two good friends(23F,24F) bought me gifts for Christmas. I can't afford to get them anything and I feel like an asshole. What can I do to make up for it? | I know this isn't as serious as some questions are here, but I don't know what to do. This year has been terrible to my wallet. I've had to fix my car numerous times, pay off bills, etc. I'm a financial mess right now.
Today my friends wanted to go Christmas shopping. I only have a brother, sister, and mother to shop for this year. Between them I only have less than 50 dollars to spend. While we're shopping my two friends start talking about the gifts they need to buy for our other friends. I connected the dots and realized they each bought me one too. I honestly didn't know we were buying each other gifts. We haven't mentioned it to each other.
They both know I'm in a rut right now financially. I mentioned yesterday that I have to take my car in tomorrow for $900 worth of repairs. I can barely afford to get my family anything, but I feel obligated to because they are my family. What's the appropriate way to either explain this to them or how do I make it up to them? | I can't afford to buy friends gifts. They already bought me gifts. I feel like an asshole. What do? |
t3_ocvrt | AskReddit | Girlfriend was in an accident, How can she get the most out of her Total Loss Settlement. | Me and my girlfriend were in, what I would call a fender bender. A car in front of us stopped short and we hit them going between 3-10 mph. The car we hit received minor damage, a few cracks in the plastic rear bumper and a minor crack on the taillight. While her car (an early 2000's hyundai elantra) received a pushed in headlight, leaking washer fluid, a little bumper damage, and the hood was a little lifted. I don't know the extent of the exact damage because the body shop that appraised it gave the insurance company the info without giving it to us and we won't find out until we talk to the adjuster. The body shop said they believed the cost would have been about $2800 but the insurance company decided it was a total loss. When she meets with the adjuster/talks to her insurance company what are some tips and sketchy activity we should watch for to ensure that she will get the MOST money from the settlement. Any and all tips/suggestions, ideas are welcome. Thank you Reddit! | What are tips/suggestions to consider when dealing with a total loss settlement so the insurance company won't screw us? |
t3_24fe9q | relationships | [18f] wondering if it is reasonable that I love seeing my ex fail at life because of prior issues [18m] | I will keep this short for you guys.
My ex is an asshat ladies and gentlemen. In our relationship, he often attempted to cheat on me with 5 other women, he almost forced me to have sex with one of his 23 year old friends when I was 16, forced me to get drunk and smoke with him or he would leave me, and last but not least he was emotionally abusive toward me our entire 1.5 year long relation-shit.
After I broke up with him I found the greatest guy in the world whom not once so far has emotionally abused me, made me feel uncomfortable, or tried to cheat on me. Infact my Boyfriend now treats me like a princess and I absolutely love him. I still have trust issues from my previous relationship, but I want to trust my bf now because he gives me no reasons to not trust him.
My question is, is it wrong of me to feel happy when something shitty happens to my ex? Should I forgive and forget? And how can I trust my current boyfriend more? | Past relationship sucked, new one rocks, feeling happy when shitty things happen to my ex, still having trust issues with my new bf because of what my ex has done to me. What do? |
t3_2x9i2r | relationships | I am a [21 F]. Lab partner is [20 M]. He is overly friendly and I need it to stop. | Currently, I am in college and taking a physics course. Every Wednesday I have a lab portion for that class and a lab partner, Jason. Jason is a very extroverted guy and I'm not sure how to address the situation currently.
Jason is very "handsy", I suppose. He puts objects (rulers, pencils, etc.) down my shirt and sometimes puts his hands on my shoulders and thigh. He has called me pretty. This week he has also started tickling me. I know that I haven't done any real thing to stop this (I'll tell him to stop, but usually while laughing, so I guess he wouldn't take it seriously), but it's because I am a non-confrontational person. I'm not sure if he's flirting or if that is the way he behaves around females ( I noticed when we had to switch partners he would not do any of this with his new partner...who was also male). Other than doing these things, he's a very nice person.However, I need this to stop, so, how can I address this without coming off as rude? I know I need to do something about it. I can't just endure it for the next few weeks. | Help. I don't know how to tell people to stop doing things without coming off as rude. I know, I'm socially retarded. |
t3_pewka | AskReddit | Any other sleepwalkers out there? What is your worst/scariest experience? | I don't think I've done much sleepwalking since I was in junior high, but I was quite prolific then. Some high points (again, all of these are while I am asleep and I have no memory of):
* Visiting my grandparents, they caught me exiting the front door. They lived on an incredibly busy street, even at night it would have been bad.
* Parents walk in on me jumping up and down on my bed, pointing at an electric outlet, screaming "KILL IT, KILL IT"
* Walking into my living room and looking my mother straight in the eye and asking where my brother was in a creepy deep voice. She had to walk me to his room and show me he was asleep so I would go back to bed.
The real winner was at camp though. I had attended camp in 7th grade that was held at university. We stayed in the dorms which were the 2 person, shared bathroom with another 2 people kind of rooms.
I wake up and I'm standing outside of my room and the door is shut and locked. I'm in my underwear only and there is no one in the hall (it was midnight-ish). I knock for several minutes. I bang on the door. I yell through the door. No matter what I do, my roommate won't wake up. I'm getting scared at this point as I don't even know where to go to get help.
I look around and see across the hall that the door to the stairway is open and there are stairs going down. The problem with this is that my dorm room is on the bottom floor, there are no people on the second floor except girls. I stand there for a few seconds processing, and then hurry down the stairs and see my dorm room door wide open, my roommate fast asleep. I close the door quietly and got back into bed.
The next day I was so tired I took a nap after lunch and missed an entire program and got yelled at. | I slept walked up a flight of stairs at camp and probably scared the fuck out of some girls by banging on their door and crying "let me in" at midnight. |
t3_4n5n7z | relationships | [Non-Romantic] I [18F] am considering moving out because of my mom [38F] | So I am going away to college in two months, and my mom is not handling this well at all. Our relationship had been better than ever the past few months, but I asked her to schedule me an appointment for my anxiety issues a week ago and didn't want to talk to her about it (because of anxiety) and she is very angry and hurt because of it. She thinks I don't talk to her about what's going on in my life, and even if that's true, it seems like a very weird thing to get so angry about that now I don't want to talk to her at all. From the way she's acting I'm pretty sure she's never going to let me leave anymore and I have a trip planned at the end of this month that she had already approved and I'm going on it no matter what she says.
My boyfriend is going to the same college as I am, and his parents love me and told my boyfriend last night that if things get bad I am totally welcome in their house until August when we leave. I don't know whether I should take them up on this. I want nothing more than to leave, and I'm 18 and will be gone in 2 months anyway. I'm just worried about what she will do, and I don't want our relationship to be destroyed... Not that we're doing so great right now. I just want someone's more grown up opinion on whether I should try to stick it out while my mom probably puts me on lock down for 2 months.
Another note, I have had a job for 3 years and am basically independent other than sleeping under her roof, and my college is almost entirely paid for my scholarships. All my boyfriend's family would be giving me is a place to stay. | I don't know whether it's the right call for me to move out and damage my relationship with my mother, but I am 18 and have a place to stay and a job. |
t3_2x41xx | tifu | TIFU by assuming I knew what day it was | Background: I am a sales manager and have been doing the job 3 years. Despite being quite inexperienced I am doing really well but have been a bit overworked in the last few weeks leading me to be less thorough than usual.
My manager asks me to take a client meeting while he is away. I was pleased to be asked because he usually asks someone more senior. I carefully drew up the agenda and booked meeting rooms, hospitality, hotel rooms for the clients etc. I had it all under control and this was my chance to shine. This morning I get to work as usual, I'm in my regular smart/casual attire, I don't wash my hair because I'll do it tonight so it looks good for tomorrow. I get to my desk and open my emails. I've been working away so there's a lot to get through, I make some good progress and then the phone rings.
*receptionist: No1saleswoman your visitor are in reception*
*No1saleswoman: I'm sorry, what visitors? I'm not expecting anyone today.*
I turn white as a sheet and realise that I have made all the arrangements for tomorrow and they are here today. I curse them and ask my colleague for help, she heroically finds a meeting room and rearranges everything. I try to find my colleague who is joining the meeting. He isn't on site today so we make a plan for him to dial in. I go to the meeting room and they are updating the video conferencing equipment! I find a second meeting room (throwing out another meeting!) and get set up. By this time the clients have been waiting downstairs for 20 minutes. I take a deep breath, go and get them and the meeting goes ahead. In the end it didn't go that badly, but I definitely gave a very bad first impression to the clients.
After lunch I go back to my office and EVERYONE has heard about what I did. I laugh it up but secretly want to cry. My big chance to prove to my boss that he can rely on me and I get my days mixed up. Turns out they changed the date; I updated the agenda but not my outlook calendar. | didn't update my calendar, got a surprise customer visit. Look like an idiot in front of all my colleagues but meeting turned out OK. |
t3_2juqk6 | relationships | My crush [20/F] asked if I [18/M] would stay in my college until the end of the week in a suspiciously interested way | Hey Reddit!
I'm about to leave my college at the end of the week and I've been having a crush on a girl from my classroom since mid-April.
Today I announced my intentions to defect to my classmates. When I was talking to her and her best friend (who is interested in defecting to the same University I want to go to), she asked explicitly:
> You're not leaving till the end of the week, aren't you?
I said I wouldn't. She seemed *relieved*.
The question is why did she ask whether I would be there till the end of the week or not and *why the f^uxk did she seem relieved*? I've got three hypothesis:
- The crush is reciprocal (and maybe she's thinking about acting)
- Her friend has a crush on me (not really surprising, actually)
- Usual curiosity (but why so much interest on me being there longer?)
What do you guys think? | I'm leaving my college and My crush asked/confirmed my permanence till the end of the week in a suspiciously manner. |
t3_23mlna | relationship_advice | I [20/f] screwed up and lost a present my boyfriend [22/m] gave me | About two weeks ago I realized that I couldn't find the ~$100 ring my boyfriend bought me for Christmas. I adored the ring and I've been frantically searching for it since I realized it went missing. I know I screwed up royally, I feel so guilty and I'm not really sure how to apologize and make amends. One of my friends suggested I just buy another ring and hope he never finds the original, but that seems really, really messed up to me. I don't want to lie to him, but I'm not exactly sure how to start the conversation where I need to apologize to him. I know it's going to upset him. Should I wait until the end of the week since this week is final exams at our university? | I'm a terrible girlfriend and lost my boyfriend's Christmas present to me. How do I bring it up and apologize? Should I wait until after exams? |
t3_1qekky | pettyrevenge | Really Petty to the Airline | I let for a business trip yesterday, and I'm also going snowboarding on the weekend. I brought my boarding equipment packed up in a snowboard bag.
Once I get to the airport, I check in at the kiosk and talk to the "helper" who tells me she has no idea if I need to be charged extra for the snowboard bag. So as instructed, I got to the counter. The guy is not sure what to do with the snowboard bag either and calls over his coworker. They both briefly discuss it and they say they'll check it in as a surfboard. The guy looks me straight in the face and says cheerfully, "Ok, sir that will be $150" I hand over my card to him and go, "Wait a second $150 for just the check in or for the whole trip??" $150 to ship my snowboard! At this point, I'm thinking that's just not right. It's slightly longer, but it's not fragile and doesn't need special care. I ask about three times if he's sure, to which he says, "yes, I'm sure."
So I begrudgingly pay the $150 because at this point, what choice do I have? I'm thinking of UPS-ing my gear back home now. Once I get past security and sit down, I finally think to google search the airline's policy on snowboards. It turns out, my snowboard should have been checked as regular checked luggage unless it weighed more than 50 pounds. It was around 33 with all my gear in it.
Now, this is where my extremely petty revenge comes in. The flight I'm on is almost a full flight, and we're sure to run out of cabin space for carry-on. They ask if anyone is willing to check their bags. Normally, I would have checked my bag since I already had a bag checked. **BUT NOT TODAY!!!!** I took my bag onboard with me. | Overcharged $125 for checked luggage, refused to check my carry-on (free of charge) because the plane was running out of space. |
t3_11umnm | relationships | I, f[21], have lied to my boyfriend[21] about somethings but i am too ashamed to confess them. but i want to. help!? | I am in a relationship with someone who is clever and so smart. I've always felt a little intimidated by this. i love him for it but i have always felt a little ashamed in comparison. we were talking about our grades and so on and he asked me what i had scored in my a-levels. I messed around in those years...a lot! and got bad grades to prove it. and even though i am doing a good degree and getting really good grades now, i felt the necessity to lie to him about it. i told him i had gotten really good grades and made them up. this was 2 yrs ago but its killing me. i want to tell him but I'm embarrassed and ashamed. i feel like he'll now always wonder what other lies I've told him and that a little trust will be gone and most of all, I'm scared he'd find me ridiculous and stupid....for telling him the lie and for the grades. how do i tell him? should i tell him at all? any advice is welcome! thanks! we've been going out for 2 years | Been in a relationship for 2 years, lied about my grades in the first year and that lie is eating away at me. what do i do? |
t3_3e3jeo | relationships | Me [20 M] and the girl [20F] I've been seeing for a couple months are thinking about starting an open relationship, any tips? | So basically I have been seeing this girl for a couple months, and it hasn't been very serious but we have grown closer to each other. We have started talking about if we want to start a serious relationship but she's someone who's afraid of commitment and can't handle 1 on 1 relationships and i'm still young and in college so i suggested and open relationship and so that's what we've been talking about.
So I'm coming here to ask if any other people here have been in an open relationship and what like basic rules should we lay down and any tips for making something like this work. I think it can be fun because I also have a very flirty personality so it'll be nice to not have to act differently around girls but really any pointers and help regarding open relationships will be much appreciated! | This girl and I are thinking of starting an open relationship. Any tips/help/guidelines to set it up so that it can work? Thanks! |
t3_15k5ct | AskReddit | Am I crazy and was I asking for too much? | Serious adult question, I'm in my mid 30's and so is my SO. She lives in one city and I live in another. We had been together for the better part of 3 years and ALWAYS disagreed over the following...
I believe when your in a serious relationship and the other person that lives a whole 5 hours away and is out drinking it isn't too much to ask for to expect some form of text during the night. Right? Something small and quick just to let the other know their OK and either when they made it home safely.
My SO and I cannot see eye to eye on this and unfortunately ended a 3 year long relationship because she feels like she's "checking in" when all I asked for was a quick text or something during the night. I never asked where she was or whom she was with. Didn't care, just would of liked to hear something to let me know all is well. She could be BEHIND the bar having a cock suck contest and take a second to pick up her phone and send me a "hey babe, just wanted to say hey and I'm ok".
Now I know most of you may think that's pretty insecure and I open to all opinions. but as an adult and somebody who takes relationships seriously I don't believe that too much to ask for.
I myself, go out drinking with buddies and I would always send a quick text like "Hey babe, still out will be home soon, love you" and definitely let her know when I made it home. Her on the other hand would not tell me anything. I would just have to wait til the following day and hope everything was kosher. but than I'm a HUGE asshole because I get pissed off at this.
Now, as childish as this shit may seem am I fucking crazy and controlling to ask for a small gesture of respect as this? | Me and Girlfriend of 3 years split up because she feels like I'm controlling because I expect to hear from her when she's out drinking. |
t3_27rln6 | tifu | TIFU by laughing at my friend's mentally challenged half-brother | So today I was hanging out with two friends, lets call them Chad and Joe, after school doing some typical friday Chad and Joe stuff. I was pretty good friends with them, but we had never really hung out all that much, so I didn't know too much about their personal lives. All I knew at this point was that Chad had divorced parents. What I did not know, however, is that Chad's dad had gotten remarried and had another son about two years younger than Chad who was mentally challenged (I'm not sure how severe or anything specific).
So after we hang out for a little while, Chad offers to have us both over to his dad's apartment. Sounds like fun to me, so he calls up his dad to pick us up and drive us to his apartment. When we arrive at the apartment complex, the Chad dad parks in a handicapped spot. I'm confused by this because neither Chad nor his dad seem handicapped in any way, but I was just gonna let it slide because it seems like a dick move to ask "hey how crippled are you?"
Well Chad's dad must have sensed my confusion because he points at his handicapped tag and says, "I have a severely mentally handicapped son." Now when he said this, I assumed he was making a joke about Chad which did seem a little morbid, but because it was my first time at his house, I laughed visibly at his dad joke to seem polite. He immediately shoots me the most hatefully confused glare and doesn't say a word as we walk inside. I didn't realize until later that he was talking about his actual son who is actually mentally challenged...I left early the next morning. | Laughed at Chad's mentally challenged half-brother in front of his dad because I thought it was a dad joke... |
t3_t57v9 | AskReddit | What seemingly trivial thing is important enough to you to end a relationship? | I just read a thread about a guy who's (ex)friend called him a pedophile for being a fan of a kid's show ([this one of course]
Thinking about the situation, I was moderately surprised to realized that I would literally end any friendship and probably familial tie in the same situation. It's not about being a rabid fan (which I am to a degree), but it could have been anime, or other cartoons I watch and met the same outcome.
A reasonable person should expect that at times, friends and family may have issues with your behavior. And a reasonable person should also listen to those concerns and try to evaluate the truth of it instead of discounting it entirely. However, if someone is so stupid and ignorant as to make deeply offensive moral judgements based on a simple entertainment choice, we are going to have words; and if that fails, I have no problem writing you off entirely. | I found out today that I would literally cut anyone out of my life who tried to make me choose between them and a cartoon I happen to enjoy. |
t3_2tkqdl | relationships | My wife [24] and I [M/29] have been together for about three years and just passed our one year wedding anniversary. She has a 4 year old and I'm having difficulty being a stepfather to the point we have had more than one discussion about separating. | We've lived together for about two years now and I've tried tremendously to undertake the task of being a stepfather. It's not that I don't love her adorable, curious, and growing daughter; but I think it's that *I don't love her like a father* and my loss of independence and increased responsibility are wearing on me (and by proxy, my wife).
I'm uncomfortable bringing her daughter around my friends, although I've made an effort to get outside my comfort zone more recently. We've been talking about going on a vacation/road trip with the three of us and frankly, that doesn't sound like a vacation to me. My wife takes that personally and offensively (reasonably so), but even three years later, I'm still in the mindset of wanting a more low key lifestyle and the idea of raising kids (I plan to have "my own" someday) for the next 30 years absolutely terrifies me.
I love this woman and want to be there for both of them, but I feel like I still have unfinished business as a person who is only responsible for himself. Any stepfathers (or stepmothers for that matter) who have felt this way, or anyone who can shed light on embracing your SO's kid may be the perspective I need to be the man I thought I wanted to be. Or maybe I'm just not ready. | Wife and I have been living together for over two years. I'm struggling to adapt to being a stepfather and it's ruining our marriage. |
t3_1yf08s | relationships | I cannot let myself become emotionally attached to anyone. How can I do this? | I dont know how to even explain this. I am a 30 year old male. I live alone. I am happy with this. I can make friends. If I put in the effort I could get girls. The issue is, I am afraid of becoming attached to someone emotionally. I am afraid that while right now I am fine, I will find myself years down the road old and alone. I want to make a change now.
I have put myself out there once. I had a girl that I was crazy for. Any day I spoke with her was a great day. We were friends. I felt more than that, she didnt. She turned me down. Things went down hill as they do when two people are looking for different things. I ended up cutting her out of my life. Since then, opening myself up has become impossible.
Recently I dated a girl for two years. I couldnt open up. I couldnt allow myself to fall for her. I don't think she was the one, but the fact that I wasnt able to open up concerns me. It's like I tried to find any little thing to mistrust in her and then just shut down.
I dont know what to do. It's been 10 years since I have spoken with the girl I was crazy about. I still think about her. I almost feel like trying to contact her to see if I still feel something and try that road again - if she would even talk to me as I just cut her out of my life. I do not know what to do or where I am going.
It's hard to even describe. I am not depressed. I just feel that I am going down a bad road and want to make a change. But the idea of opening up and becoming attached to someone is so draining to me. Even friends - if something came up tomorrow (IE a new job), I would have no trouble cutting ties and just leaving. | How can I acheive emotional attachment to people when I find the idea of it so draining? Would you contact the one person you felt the strongest for after 10 years of no contact? |
t3_3va8tw | relationships | My (31M) supervisors at work are sending Christmas cards with fake promises to donate to charity. Do I say anything? | (Throwaway because some of my co-workers are probably aware of my regular handle.)
I'm the marketing guy at my office, it's a small-ish business of around 40 people. I got a project handed to me a week ago to make and send a bunch of Christmas cards to our customers, suppliers, and those kinds of people. I was asked by the President of the company to include a line that we're donating to a Christmas charity on behalf of the recipient.
I was talking about it with my direct supervisor yesterday, who let me know that we aren't actually donating anything. He said that he didn't really care for the dishonesty about it either, but his hands were politically tied. I'm sitting here this morning addressing the cards to send them out tomorrow and I feel horrible about it, it just makes me feels so immoral and dishonest about it, especially at this time of the year.
Should I say anything about it? It doesn't feel like anyone here either cares or has the political capital to do anything about it. Perhaps I could tip off one of our customers? I just don't know. | Employer is making fake statements of donating to charity in our Christmas cards I'm sending out and I feel morally compromised about it and don't know what to do. |
t3_1t7xtj | AskReddit | Reddit, What has a Person of the Opposite Gender Done Purposefully to Attempt to Embarrass You? | On my birthday (Which is on 4/20, for side information) a few years ago, this girl I was slightly in to and I hung out. Things were going well after several hours of us being together, so we go back to my house to relax and watch some television. We somehow began making out. After a few minutes of this, she abruptly stopped and said something along the lines of, "I feel so bad about this, I'm already talking with someone else." So, being the understanding person that I am, I drive her home and say goodnight. The next day, I go to hang out with my friends. They all were making jokes towards me that I did not really understand until one of them blatantly tells me why they were treating me differently. Apparently, the girl had told them that we did more sexual activity than we actually did and told them that I "basically did not have a dick." Also, she said I "Was like a Ken doll." My friends now know that she did not even attempt to touch my dick, but still make fun of me for it. | I hung out with a girl on my birthday and the next day she told all of my friends that I had an unnaturally tiny dick or "basically did not have a dick" even though nothing sexual happened between us. |
t3_3i9mb1 | relationships | Me [19F] with my friend [23 M]; should I propose a friends with benefits arrangement? | I'm a 19 year old girl, attracted to a 23 year old guy. He's only staying in my area for about a year, after which he will be moving out of the country. Because of this, a committed relationship would just be impractical and painful for both of us in the end. Despite that, I still want to pursue him. The only way I can think of that would be fair is if I make it clear from the start that we aren't to be a couple. We could fool around, have fun and enjoy each other, but we would not be exclusive.
How would you react if a girl proposed something like this to you? What would your thoughts and feelings be? Would you see it as slutty/cheap, or just rational?
Would it be better to just go for a relationship with us both aware that it will be over when he leaves? | I'm into a dude who won't be around longer than a year. Would a friends with benefits situation be more reasonable than a normal relationship with an end date? Should I pursue him at all? |
t3_288786 | relationships | I (F19) don't know if I should fight for the dying relationship with my biological father (M44?) or just let him slowly disappear... Again. Happy Father's Day. | So my dad ditched when I was only a few months old, and moved three provinces away (NS to Ontario), and hooked up with an older woman who already had 4 kids. He visited every once and a while until I was about 7, then disappeared. When I was 13 I needed his signature to get my passport and my mother had to go through quite a bit to find him. Finally when we did, I agreed to try to keep a relationship with him. I'm 19 now and still talk to him, maybe once ever two weeks over text and once a month (if that) on the phone. He doesn't try to keep a relationship- all he wants to do is give me money to try to win me back. He doesn't text me for anything other than to say he's trying to get a job to give me money. So far, it's been 4 months since he originally promised to help me with my university costs, and still nothing. Every new call or text is just "I'm trying to get you money, love you."
I want a relationship with him but I don't want to have to go chasing him to be part of my life. My mother is now married to a wonderful man who has been more of a father to me than I could have ever asked for and I love him for it. But then there's bio-dad. deadbeat, no job, strange wife, 4 step kids over the age of 25... It's strange.
I don't really know what to ask in terms of advice... Should I confront him about it? Should I try harder to contact him (I text him every once and a while but it always ends up the same way - "I'll get you your money soon)? Or should I just let it run its course and wait for him to disappear again?
Thanks reddit. | dad is a deadbeat, Father's Day is bringing up emotions from me, I don't know whether or not I should really try to keep this relationship going. |
t3_36x245 | tifu | TIFU by ruining someones one rep max on bench | I was at the gym today, and I always drink a TON of water when I work out. I sometimes drink it too fast, and when I do, I cough a little. The water was nice and cold and I was warm, so I poured some water into my mouth and drank some but left the rest in there to... enjoy the cold feeling. Well I must've drank half of the water weird, because I started coughing. I violently coughed water all over this guy who was trying for his one rep max. He freaked out from getting water spit onto his face and chest, and his bar tilts too far to the right, so all of the weights slide off the right side, then the left.
He puts the bar down, gets in my face and says, "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
I said, "If you had put clips on..." but he stormed off mad. | I coughed water on a guy doing his one rep max, made him lose balance and all the weights fell off, he was mad |
t3_1ktjrv | dating_advice | [17] M, Needs advice | Basically, I met this girl (16) at a programme scheme for 16-17 year olds. At first we didn't really talk and I had my own preconceived impression of her- that she was a bit too up herself. However that was before we even talked together, I began to talk to her the next day and from then on it was an instant connection- we have so much in common (she even goes on Reddit), we're always partnering up for activies (she's choosing me), she's getting all touchy touchy and will happily fall asleep on my shoulder- I thought she was giving me all kinds of hints. Then, when I added her on Facebook I found out that she had a boyfriend- she barely had mentioned him at all but in the coming weeks she would mention him occasionally (rarely). I think she may be having some problems with her boyfriend. I really like this girl now, she's literally one of the loveliest; funniest girls I've ever met. I really really fancy her, she invited me round her house to meet her parents- I keep feeling like I'm getting all different kinds of hints but I just don't know. After hearing and seeing what her ex-boyfriends looked like, I definitely don't match that criteria. I really really like her, but unless she breaks up with her boyfriend I feel there's nothing I can do. It really upsets me, I haven't felt this way about a girl before. | I think this girl is giving me hints that she likes me but she has a boyfriend and it overcomplicates it. |
t3_4o2ynv | relationships | Getting back with an Ex and im kinda confused on the whole situation. Any advice appreciated (18f/18m) | So about a week ago I invited her and her friend to an amusement park with my friends. She ended up dating someone that day and brought him. By the end of the day she was very spacious of him and was all over me. By time we dropped him she was in my arms instead of his. The entire time we were there i didn't pay any attention to her and i think that go to her and was trying harder and harder to talk to me and get my attention. So the next day she comes over to my house before she goes to her dads for a week and we're chilling in my room and we can't stay off each other like it used to be. We didnt have sex but we were close. So while she is gone i texted her asking how she felt about us and if were in a relationship again. She says "I like you I really like you i just don't want to rush anything". Im having a hard time understanding what exactly that might mean. Has anyone else ever been through a similar situation like this? What is your take on all this??? Thanks!! | my ex and i really like each other but she says she doesn't want to rush into anything. What does this mean? |
t3_2xljuw | relationships | I [21 M] need help dealing with my uptight personality with a girl I'm seeing [23 F] who is very laid back. | So I recently started seeing a girl (we've gone on 2 dates with the first being one on one and the second being a night out bar hopping with her friends) and everything seems to be going well. However, I'm the type of person that likes to have everything planned out ahead of time. For example, I want to know when the next time we are meeting rather than just playing it be ear and asking her randomly on a certain day if she's free. She, on the other hand, is much more laid back. She doesn't see any rush and that is conveyed in the text conversations we have. For example, we just went out on Friday night and I texted her today asking her when she's free this week to schedule another date. She didn't respond immediately like she had been throughout our conversation and when I jokingly asked, "did I just get rejected?" She responded with, "Obviously I'm rejecting you who do you think I am?" While obviously being sarcastic, I've taken this more personally then I know I should have and this isn't the first time. When I tried to schedule our date that we just had on Friday night, she didn't respond and when I texted her some hours later she said that she had gotten busy and the text skipped her mind. She then replied that yeah she was free that night and we could go out. So, in the end, things work out, as in we end up hanging out, however it's extremely painful for me in my daily life not knowing and having to live by her laid back lifestyle. When I say it's painful for me, I mean that I begin overthinking everything she says (or doesn't say) to me when in reality I know she likes me and I shouldn't worry. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Girl I'm seeing is extremely laid back and I'm the exact opposite. It makes conversations with her via text very hard, and makes me overthink everything. How do I deal with this? |
t3_2lhiq0 | relationships | My [28 M] best friend [28 M] of 8 years just moved to my state with his girlfriend of 7 months and her 2 kids (14,12). He wants me to meet them, I think he's making a mistake. What to do? | My best friend from college just moved from out of state to my city because he got a good job offer here making $60k/year.
He's been married once before and is divorced (she cheated, had a kid, and lied to him saying the kid was his. He did a DNA test, found out the truth, and divorced her).
He started dating this new girl (age 33) 7 months ago, and she has 2 daughters (14 and 12). In their state she had a nursing job. When he got the new job offer, he had 3 weeks to move. He was telling me that he was going to breakup with his gf and let it fizzle out. Well turns out that was a lie or mistruth, because after he lives here for 2 weeks alone, he tells me that his gf and kids are moving in the next day. They have 4 people living in his 2 bed/2 bath now.
I think it's crazy how fast he's moving with this girl and I've told him, but he won't hear it. In my mind he's blinded by "love". She has no job here and has to take some tests to get a nursing job since this state's more strict, so it might be 4-6 months before she has a job, and he's supporting them until then.
The 2 weeks he was living here "single" I would see him almost every day to play video games/hangout. Now that she's moved here, I've seen him for 1 hour in the last week. Now he's trying to get me to come to his apartment and meet the girlfriend and daughters, but I'd rather not. What should I do? Is there anything I can say to make him realize he's making a mistake, or am I just being incredibly selfish? | Best friend moved to my state, brought his gf of 6 months and 2 teenage daughters with her. I'm not happy with the situation. How can I make him realize he's making a mistake? |
t3_2v3889 | tifu | TIFU by not packing up after my pleasure-party-for-one [nsfw] | Well this small horror actually began last night. I was laying in bed, trying to sleep but tossing and turning with too much on my mind. I was stressing about work, life, etc., and figured it was a good time to bring out my little friend Mr. Rabbit to help me unwind. I pranced over to the closet, grabbed my bag of tricks, and selected the best tool for the job. Eased back into bed, let Mr. Rabbit do his thing, and 5 minutes later have entered into a blissful slumber.
Fast forward to the morning after: woke up at 6:30AM and realized I'd overslept for work. Got ready in a whirlwind and ran out the door, not thinking about the vibrator I'd haphazardly left snuggled between the sheets, or the bag of dildos next to the bed, for that matter.
I came home from work 6:30PM, fairly exhausted, greeted by my parents in the kitchen making dinner. My dad immediately blurted out, "I decided it would be nice to do your laundry for you because I know you've been so busy with work."
Aww sweet, I'm thinking.
That's when he adds "I washed your sheets too."
Shit. Now is about the time when I remember the sex toys strewn about my bedroom. Trying to hide the panic-stricken look on my face, I manage an awkward, "Uhhh..... thanks."
I ran upstairs to find a neatly made bed, with my little bag of toys discreetly tucked underneath. To my horror, Mr. Rabbit is inside the bag with the others. Came back downstairs to have awkward dinner with my parents. No further discussion of the laundry was made. | slept so well after getting off that i woke up late for work and forgot to put away the toys, unsuspecting dad discovered my dildo trove while trying to be nice doing the laundry. |
t3_3vmnre | relationships | My [17M] mother[47F] is likely going to break up with her boyfriend[46M] of two years. | My mother and her boyfriend have been dating for quite a while and usually get along really well, with the occasional spat here and there. He's a good guy, and he's been decent to my brother, sister and me.
In the past couple of weeks I've noticed that he's been less patient with everything we do, and there have been more arguments. This has brought me to dislike him and not really want him around. Yesterday my sister told me that my mother was thinking of leaving him after Christmas.
Now the thing is, if she breaks up with him, I feel like it would be a good thing as it would bring an end to the arguments and disagreements. On the other hand, it would likely terribly hurt my mother for the next couple months, which would in turn hurt me seeing her like that. It would also mean that he would have to figure out what he's going to do, and life would be really hard for him in the next couple months. I don't feel like he deserves that.
Basically what I guess I'm looking for in with this post is to see what I should do and what I should be feeling right now. Usually these things don't bother me, so I don't know why I feel this way. | My mother is thinking of ending it with her boyfriend of 2 years, and I don't know how to feel about it. I feel bad for both of them, but also don't really want him around anymore. |
t3_1rq3z9 | relationships | Me [20F] with my bf [20 M/F] for 4 years, we had an argument and he used physical violence against me | I have a friend who has an abusive boyfriend and I want you to advice her. Here is her situation:
"We had an argument today and he started using physical violence against. I might have been at fault here, since I was teasing him. We wanted to go to the theater, because he promised we would. But he would not budge so I have started telling him that I'm going home for the weekend and I have also started pulling his legs (literally) off his bed so that he would dress up and we would go. Then he grabbed me, started to push me, then threw me on my bed and I fell off it and hurt my leg. He didn't apologize, I stormed off.
This is not the first time it happened. We have broken off for a few months before. I don't know what to do."
Please advise my friend on this, because she won't listen to me. Thank you. | bf started phisically abusing his gf after an argument, not the first time, should she break up with him? |
t3_13xlqo | relationships | I'm [M23], girlfriend is [F22]. We're taking a trip soon to her hometown, and I'm worried about something that may or may not happen... | 23M/22F We've been together for 11 months and it's been **great**. We're both head over heels for each other and really have not had any sizable problems thus far.
Like the title says we're going to her hometown/state next month which is 2000 miles away. She came here to my city/state for school and has loved it and decided to stay here after graduating. She never really dated anyone back in her home state, she had a couple friends-with-benefits situations but nothing serious. One thing that stuck out though (and this is my cause for concern) is that she told me she was "in love" with a guy who was a close friend of hers...
Basically she threw herself at this guy, begging for him to be in a relationship with her; he rejected her but still stayed in contact with her and responded to all of her pleas... which I assume is because he liked the emotional support of having someone tell you they're completely in love with you, but I have a hard time not feeling like my girl was led on in the wrong way by this behavior. She got over him more or less when she moved away for school but they've still maintained contact through text/facebook talking every couple months or so just as friends.
My concern is that she will want to see him when she goes back home because she might still have feelings for him. I obviously would find it disrespectful to me and our relationship if she were to be with me while still harboring strong feelings for someone else... I don't know if my worries are valid or if I'm just being a princess about the possibility and need to let it go... Is this something that needs to be brought to her attention or would that make me look too emotional or weird? Should I wait and see what happens? I would prefer she didn't see the guy but I don't want to be controlling or make her defensive. Obviously we're going to be spending some time with her friends from back home that's a given, but how uncomfortable would it be for me, her, and her former love interest to be together?? | Going to girlfriend's homestate next month where her former love interest is... I don't want her to see him but she may or may not want to see him as a friend. |
t3_iaikc | relationship_advice | Long distance advice | This girl i'm really into lives very far away and I only get to see her a few days in a month or so. We always hangout with mutual friends and sleep at their place when she comes to visit and that's basically how we get together, when we spend time together we both act as if we are in a normal relationship, although the thought that I can't actually BE with her makes depressed. Neither of us wants to be in a long distance relationship and we both joke when she is here that we having a short term relationship 3-4 days. She left again this morning and it hurts. I'll chat with her on facebook but not that frequently. I think we both feel the same way about each other but we haven't really spoken about it, and I don't know that if I do, if it will mess things up. Don't know if I should try and ignore the feelings I have for her.
I'm 23 and may take a job were she lives next year. | Kind of in a long distance relationship, breaks my heart every time she has to leave again. Really don't know how to approach it. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.