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t3_1zki64 | relationships | I love her, no real relationship problems, but I know it's best to end now. A very sad and confused Me [20 M] with my loving GF [17 F] of almost 2 years. | I care about this girl so much and I want her to be happy, but I am in a conflict of what's best for me and what's best for her.
I've recently begun trying to better myself (physically and mentally) but I rarely get time alone to work out or meditate. Between my jobs as a server at a restaurant working to pay rent, an intern at a production company starting to learn the business of my dream job, and going to school full time, I barely have time for my girlfriend let alone myself. Notice how I wrote girlfriend before myself? Me too. I've placed spending time with her higher on priority than myself and I feel I've lost part of myself in the process.
I feel that the best thing for me is to not be in a relationship right now. However, I think for her the best thing is to be with me. I believe I provide a lot of support for her and I fear that she will be deeply saddened. I really do want her to be happy, I just don't think I'm in a position to stay in a relationship with her. I know I am going to miss her immensely and feel extremely guilty, I'll just want to run into her arms.
On the other hand, She is still young and has lots to experience and learn. I think it may be good for her in the long run to grow on her own for a while. I know that zero contact after a break up is best to move on, but I've always let her know that we're in this life together. That I will always be there to help with whatever obstacle she may encounter. She is my best friend. Aaaaaaaaand now I'm crying... I don't want to lose my best friend, but I know that she should not be my girlfriend anymore. She is an amazing girl, but I know we will not last forever. | How do I end this loving relationship that I know will not last, but still make sure she knows she is loved and cherished. |
t3_3967qh | relationship_advice | My best friend [20/m] is turning into a bum, I [20/m] want to help, but he is negative towards any advice. | Ill try to make it brief. One of my best friends for about a year is throwing his future away, and he is turning into a boring and negative person.
He droppede out of school, tried to start at another school, but droppede out of that too. Shortly after becoming unemplyed his first girlfriend broke up with him because she moved away. He hasnt really been on a date since, and went on a jobhunt that lasted about 4 months, until he landed a job at a truckstop. He got fired today, because of inefficiency and a bad attitude.
Yo add to that, he suffers from a chronic disease of the digestive track, forcing him to spend at least 1/8 of his day on the toilet.
He doesnt really have a social network outside of me and 2 other friends that I introduced him to.
Im a guy with a fair large social circle, and hang out with many different people. Besides that Im having a lot of success with my job hunt, and generally doing well for myself.
The problem is that hanging out with my friend is becoming sort of a chore. I like him, and enjoy his company. I dont even doubt he is able to handle the obstacles he is facing, but he refuses to change his mindset. He constantly complaints, but shoot me down whenever I bring up an idea. I can also tell that he is jealous of how well Im doing. Iwant to help him, but at the same time, I dont want to carry him, nor be dragged down with him. Help. | My best friend is an unemplyed, uneducated and very negative person. He is becoming a chore to be around, but I desperately want to help him. |
t3_19v4mc | relationships | [20M, 19F] My relationship with my girlfriend of three years is falling apart, what the fuck should I do? | Backstory: I've been dating this girl since high school, we had a somewhat rough relationship early on because she was dealing with deadbeat parents, a bad breakup from her last ex-boyfriend, and general trust issues I guess. I put a ton of effort into our relationship and was constantly supportive and whatnot, and we basically worked around some of her issues to the point where we were both very happy together. We ended up going to college together and things began to deteriorate, I guess.
Now, I fit a lot of the 'typical redditor' tropes- I had a pretty cushy upbringing and as a result didn't become particularly independent, I'm smart but very passive and generally unmotivated, and have minor anxiety issues. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is fiercely independent and far more mature than I am. To put things bluntly, she adjusted far better to college than I did. I've struggled to make decent grades, make friends, and just take advantage of opportunities while she's out running for student council. And our relationship has really suffered- she's been feeling like she's "obligated" to do things with me, she's not happy at all, and she recently said she needs some time and space to think things over. If I don't turn things around soon, she is going to break things off and we both know it.
Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. Being in a high school relationship was easy, dealing with parents and gossip and stupid teenager drama, but I just haven't handled the transition to an adult relationship well at all. In the beginning I put in 90% of the effort to make it work, but that's totally flipped now and I just haven't been able to hold up my end of the responsibilities. Basically, she's been feeling like she has to almost take care of me, and that's the last thing I want. Don't get me wrong- I don't think I'm entitled to anything just because I was a great boyfriend to her in high school, I just want to get back to even stevens. I love this girl with all of my heart and want to be able to make her happy again. | My high school sweetheart has matured much, much faster than I have. How I can get back to a balanced relationship that makes us both happy? |
t3_27alqn | relationships | Me [28 M] with my GF [25 F] 5 years love my GF, but crushing on someone else? ugh. | I've been with my GF 5 years, I love her no question about it. We're not perfect, we fight, and sometimes she can be dramatic and over-react or get a little nasty towards me, but it's not a huge deal. The problem is, I'm taking classes at a local university and there's a girl that sits near me and I can't stop thinking about her. We worked on a small project together, we're just friendly, we say hello and know each others names - there's nothing more to it. We don't flirt, or ANYTHING - which is good.
I feel fucking weird. I know I love my girlfriend, but I cannot get this girl out of my head. She's attractive sure, but no more so than my GF- and I don't know shit about her - other than she seems fairly cool.
Childish crush no doubt but it's super annoying because even when I'm at home I'm thinking about this other person which I know is wrong...I've tried taking walks and playing video games to stop but it's not working.
Advice?? This will pass right...Is it normal for a young guy to have this happen or am I a terrible person? | Love my girlfriend, but can't stop thinking about someone else I don't even know beyond a name. Feel weird about it. |
t3_38gv3s | relationships | My [m29] fiancée [f28] broke up with me, we are on fine terms, but how long should I wait to start dating again? | As stated, my fiancée [f28] and I [m29] recently broke up a few weeks before the wedding. The first week was rough. But we ended on about as well of terms as we could. We are friendly and civil.
Question I'm wanting to ask is how long should I wait to start dating again? Is there any specific time where it stops looking like you just were not into the previous relationship at all and are not an asshole? I don't want to upset mine or her family by jumping into something too soon. I'm not looking for anything serious at the moment. I just want to date and if something grows serious then great.
I know I'm still young, but I'm wanting to settle down with someone that I can spend the rest of my life with and have a family. | Fiancée and I broke up, how long till I can/should start dating again, I feel ready to. |
t3_17lf5h | BreakUps | So fucking hurt by her emails! Any words to cheer me up!! | I (22m) dated her (22f) for a year, she has always been afraid of commitment. She did the same thing to her previous ex when I came in the picture but I thought she would change.
Come our one year aniv. she was too full of anxiety to stay, she also developed a crush on a guy from school. We got back together 2 months later, that lasted a week, it went from perfect to shit in literally 1 hour. She is always in her head, her fears and confusion are messed up.
She started dating that guy she had a crush on A COUPLE WEEKS after we split the 2nd time. I finally decided to say goodbye when she told me they kissed. We said goodbye on the phone which was sad but went well. I then wrote a goodbye email basically calling her out on her issues and fears. I didn't think it was too hurtful or bad, but I said a couple of things that could have angered her.
SHE THEN WROTE THESE EMAILS TO ME. REMEMBER, I thought I was going to marry this girl who is amazing when she is not consumed with fears.:
"No part of me has ever wanted to spend my life with you, and that email just cements it even further. I do not love you. I do not want to be with a guy like you. You are controlling, you are presumptuous, and you are rude. You have no right to say those things to me. I do not want to see you or talk to you in the future. Please don't call me this summer."
She semi-apologized with "I'm sorry for these words, but I am so angry at you for thinking you have the right to say those things to me. I understand we are both emotional, but I'd appreciate it if we stopped any contact." minutes later.
PLEASE HELP ME MOVE ON OR UNDERSTAND THIS, I'm so depressed now, this hurts so much. We were best friends a few weeks ago, lovers a few months ago, now nothing. | Love of my life sent me a couple emails above, help me understand, feel better, help me grow from this please! |
t3_1zhvb2 | relationships | I (22M) am feeling distant with girlfriend (28F). I feel like we don't have a future. | So she and I work together. Our relationship is a secret from our workplace and her best friend (her best friend, lets call her J, is crazy and developed some intense feelings for me when I started spending more time at my girlfriends house). This has been going on for three years now.
We haven't had sex in over 6 months and to be honest, unless I am feeling really horny, I don't feel flirtatious at all. She recently got a dog who has eaten a lot of any would be alone time up. About three weeks ago she did tell me that "we will have sex this weekend; it's been forever!" but it never happened. Not because something got in the way, she just did not make time to come over to my house or vis-versa.
Next year, she wants to move away (about an hour South to a city we will call T) for school in September and only briefly mentioned us moving in together up there. She has not brought it up since and any plan to move to T that she has mentioned to me has not included me at all.
So what do you think, r/relationship? Is this thing coming to an end sooner or later or can it be saved? | GF and I work together, relationship is a secret from work and her roommate, we haven't had sex in six months and she will be moving to a nearby city but that plan doesn't seem to include me. |
t3_4ljkyc | relationships | Me [30 M] with my girlfriend [30 F] of 6 months, I found her dating profile and then on Tinder. How do I talk to her about it, without seeming that I snooped? | Hey,
so here is the situation. I have been with this girl for over 6 months and all seems to have been going well. We had our bumps, but we are fine now. We are exclusive.
I googled her and was able to find a dating profile for her on a site for aviators. Her profile was old, but last login time was just a few hours ago. I was a bit troubled, but decided to search a bit more and was able to find her profile on Tinder.
Now I know I should not have snooped on her, but it is pretty easy to google someone. How do I approach the situation without seeming like the bad boyfriend that snoops around? Or should I let it go?
What do you think? What should I say? | Found girlfriends dating profile, dug more and found her profile on Tinder. How do I talk to her about all that? |
t3_f7tlm | relationships | Help, lost my girlfriend and i wanna get her back again | My girlfriend and i just broke up yesterday. We have been going out since February of last year. I am quite distraught over this, especially since i cannot even see her again for months (i am away at college). But she means everything to me and i really do care about her which is why i want her back so damn badly.
We broke up because during a conversation i brought up a three-way, which at first she was not mad about. Than later that night we discussed it again and she asked me how it would work. i said that equal attention would have to be given to both people who are in the three-some. That is what set her off. At first the next morning i knew something was wrong but she said nothing was, until eventually she told me. I did not know she would take it so personally, i was not even serious about it.
The day before i left for school, which was the next day,i went to her house to see what was going on. I wanted to know exactly where we stood because i was unclear after the fight we had the night before. She said that morning that she would never be able to forget about the fact that i considered a three-some and that she was disgusted by it (i feel that she just thinks i just want to have sex with another person). So when i first asked her where we stand, she said she did not know but i told her that i need to know because i am going to be away for months. She said that maybe we should be apart.
A lot of my friends say that it was a good thing that we split because she could not get over the idea that i had a idea of a three-some. But i am also curious if females regard this differently than males, so if anyone could also shed some insight on that it would be much appreciated. | my girlfriend and i broke up because i brought up a three-some. Should i try to get her back? if so, how? (i currently go to school 5 hours away from where we live) |
t3_2w2emt | relationships | Not your average jealousy... Me: 19M - Her: 20F | We've been together for about 5-6 months.
I've looked around for similair feeligns (which is hard since I'm not sure how to adress nor describe the problem) without much success.
I'm not worried about my gf cheating on me. She is the last person to cheat, and especially with me - I am 100% certain on this.
The thing thats bothering me is simply put her with another man.
For example, we were playing a drinking game called I have never and the question was: I have never had sex outside (i.e have you had sex outside?). She had. That thought really puts me down, changes my mood entirely. Furthermore, I get pissed and annoyed at myself for thinking like this. I'm not worried that would happen again while with me, it's just the thought that fucks me up.
In my last serious relationship i got cheated on atleast 2 times. Been having some trust issues (is this trust issues?) since.
How do I tackle this? She is really understanding which is nice, but I still want to stop feeling like this. Drives me crazy. That image of her outside with another dude outside is stuck in my head. | Not worried about her cheating. It's just the thought of her actually having sex with anyone else (before me or after me idc) which drives me insane. Ex probably caused this. What do? |
t3_23ddsy | relationships | Me [21M] with my girlfriend [22F] for 2 years. I really hate giving her directions. | I just want to start this off by saying I love her completely and she is a very intelligent girl. She goes to a very prestigious university and is a pre-law major. There are no real flaws in our relationship and the past two years have felt like a dream...except when I have to give her directions.
I swear to god, I don't even know how she get's lost. I give her basic instructions, which I've done myself, on how to get from point A to point B. She was visiting San Francisco once, my home town, and asked me for directions to AT&T park so I was like where are you. Then she told me the intersection and the nearest store so I just told her to take the muni near blank and blank to powell then transfer to something that goes there. She got completely lost and I spent an hour guiding her back home. She missed the game and I was a little frustrated that she got lost with such clear cut instructions.
She gets lost all the time. I think she may be the absolute worst with directions out of everyone I know.We are pretty much late to any event I let her guide us to. I feel like such an asshole for getting upset.
Does anyone else deal with something like this? I really hope im not alone. | I hate giving my girlfriend directions and I feel bad about it. Does anyone else deal with this and how can I cope with it? |
t3_30tcpm | relationships | I [33/F] left my husband early this month after catching him molesting my young daughter (his stepdaughter). Homeless, angry, and don't know how to recover. | He's been charged with first degree sexual assault, and we have a restraining order against him. Court dates are pending. We're living with friends and in the process of starting over.
I have no idea how to be a single parent - he helped me with everything around the house while I worked. I have no idea how to get past the loss/anger/absolute disgust I feel. He's been abusing her badly for a long period of time, behind my back, and I'd have never known if I hadn't happened upon him in mid-act. My kids are in therapy, but I don't know how to help them, long term. | I caught my husband on top of my daughter, kissing her. How do I get past this, and help her get past this? |
t3_1ffwr9 | relationships | [24/m] having concerns about my [23/f] girlfriend... | We met three months ago and started dating one month later. In the past, I've slept with dozens of girls. I've casually dated a few for less than one month each. I've found girlfriends aren't really conducive to my lifestyle as I'm pretty down on myself most days. (I won't say depressed because I haven't been clinically evaluated or anything) But I've never actually called a girl my girlfriend. So she's the first one I've ever wanted to try to be serious with.
We used to text all the time. While she was working and I'd say, "I feel bad texting you while you're playing" (she's a musician) and she would say back -within minutes- "Trust me, if i didn't want you to, I just wouldn't respond."
Cut to recently, when I would text her and she would wait 30min-1hr to text me back. Or, just now, when I asked her three times what the plan was for tonight and she avoided the answer each time.
She tells me she really likes me. She tells me I should be happy. She says that the sex is the best she's had. But I still feel weary in the strength of our relationship.
I've heard and believed the saying "There's always one person who likes the other one more. If you don't believe that, than you're the one person." (or something to that style)
I don't know if I'm just being paranoid. If this feeling will ever go away or if I'm supposed to feel this vulnerable at this point. All this is new to me.
I don't even really know what I'm asking. But any advice on how to deal with this constant state of feeling inadequate would be fantastic.
I'm always supportive of her music, and I ask for all her new stuff and listen to it, and overall I think I'm being a really really good boyfriend. On the flip-side, I'm a writer and she very seldom asks about it, and has yet to read any of the stuff that she *asked* for. That's just been on my mind, too. | I think my girlfriend is already getting tired of the relationship only 2 months in. Am I being paranoid, is this feeling normal, or am I right to think it? |
t3_i8epm | AskReddit | I have a petty issue... | I'm not looking for sympathy. Sincerely, I am looking for some advice, tips, help on how to get my focus back.
Long story short: I am in sales for a large recruitment/advertising .com, my wife is pregnant (also in sales) and due in 2 months. The past three months, my duties/responsibilities/quota have gone up (and will continue to do so), and lately I have lost ALL focus. I started out so strong this year, and now I can't pay attention. As a result, I am LOSING money day by day. It could be with all my life changes (moving from ATL back to Chicago). I originally thought it could be due to my meds (Pexeva, Lamitrogine) but they haven't changed in months. The problem I have is this: my wife is going to quit her job to be with the baby in September, and I am the SOLE provider at that point. However, my lack of focus is killing my sales, and my quota is 65% of my income.
I realize I have a great life. hate the term, but I am "blessed". My wife is beautiful, I am expecting a baby son (fuck yeah!), and I am EMPLOYED. So I hope this doesn't come across as complaining. I just need candid advice.
Anyone have suggestions to help me focus? | Life has changed and I am now the bread-winner for my young family. I can't focus on my sales job and now I am losing money that I desperately need. Help! |
t3_4gc15d | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [20 F] 18 months, she liked (favorited?) a bunch of photos of a shirtless (mostly naked) guy from her high school on Instagram. He's been favoriting her posts on Instagram/Facebook. | I'm not really sure how to properly convey my feelings on the situation. Basically for the past couple months she's been favoriting some of this guys posts, which tend to be him showing off his perfectly sculpted lifeguard body. He's been favoriting some of her posts back, especially recently, and also liking her posts on Facebook.
Anyway she has never mentioned this guy before, he's not friends with any of my girlfriends other female friends, and she's never spoken about him, so I know nothing about him. He does however live across the country from us.
Maybe it's just me, however I feel like it's a bit disrespectful to be favoriting a bunch of shirtless pictures of someone she knows. I think if I was favoriting a bunch of pictures of girls who I knew in skimpy bikinis she would not be happy.
I don't really know how to talk to her about this. Call me old fashioned or whatever but I don't think this is particularly appropriate... especially for some guy who she has never mentioned to me. If it was one of her good friends or something I probably wouldn't care, she still talks to her ex from time to time, and I don't care. She is usually really open and upfront about guys she talks to, which is another reason this irks me a bit. I don't have a problem with the models or whatever she looks up, but it's a little different when she knows the guy in my opinion.
I know this is a bit long, especially for what it is, but I also needed a place to vent a little because I don't really have someone who can offer me advice on this. | GF has been liking a bunch of images of a shirtless/almost naked guy she knows on instagram, I think it's disrespectful and want to know if I'm overreacting/how to talk to her. |
t3_yvpli | AskReddit | My father is literally worrying himself sick and won't seek help. Reddit, what do I do? | The man is a 49 year old tax attorney who runs his own practice. He is chronically overweight and currently on medication for high blood pressure. He has a family history of cardiovascular disease. He has been exhibiting manic depressive behaviors for the past few years but gets wildly upset when anyone suggests he get help. He is currently in a lull because his business had a bad month and has been treating my mother like absolute shit, verbally abusing her and the like. He took off for what I can only assume to be an angry drive around town today after my mother suggested they start marriage counselling again- he sped off down the block at 80 miles an hour just half an hour ago.
What I am concerned about is the fact that he gets angry whenever anyone suggests he seek help- for his weight, for his anger issues, for the manner in which he deals with his wife and children. He is continuously unapologetic about his many and severe emotional flaws and is utterly incapable of taking responsibility for his behavior. I could go on forever about the many ways in which he insists it is his mother's fault for not hugging him enough (I generalize greatly here- their relationship is a treatise unto itself) but the point I'm trying to make is that he is severely messed up but has so far been unsuccessful in changing his behavior to become a more healthy, positive human being. My mother, brother and I are all concerned that he will give himself a heart attack and die as a result.
What actions, if any, can we take? | per request: 49 Year old overweight man w/high blood pressure unwilling to seek emotional or physical health. Wat do? |
t3_1tcu5y | relationships | [21/M] My girlfriend [21/F] of 3 months has an ex that is trying to get back with her | So the other day my girlfriend of 3 months decided to tell me that her ex (who cheated on her about a year and a half ago) is trying to get back with her even though he knows we are in a relationship.
Supposedly this has been going on for a week and I was just told (not sure if that's a problem). She says told him that she is willing to be friends with him, but apparently he refuses anything less than getting back together. I've told her that this guy should fuck off, but I'm not sure why this was hidden from me and why she is even giving this guy a chance to talk to her.
I'm completely lost in this situation and I honestly feel like shit right now. Should I be worried that my girlfriend is in contact with her ex? I'm worried that this contact might lead to her having feelings for this guy again. Should I ask her to just completely ignore him? Comments, advice, anything you want to say reddit please tell me, I'm so lost right now I don't know what to do. | Girlfriend's ex wants her back, I was told a week after contact between the two occurred, girlfriend says she offered him to be friends, I feel like shit |
t3_1fhu1o | self | I feel like I'm wasting time. | I'm a 23 year old male on summer vacation after my third *shitty* year of college. When I say shitty I mean that I've been skating by, failing a handful of classes, and convincing my counselor to give me more chances. I've done so horribly because I've been an alcoholic for all of that time. Today is my 43rd day without a drink and that is something I feel great about physically and emotionally. There is certainly more clarity in my mind than there has been.
However I've just been terribly unproductive and bored. I feel like I'm having a quarter-life crisis. I'm clear enough to see that I should be doing something meaningful and helpful for the world but too stuck in my old ways to make a change. There are so many things I want to do but never manage to get started. I want to volunteer, get a job, meet new people, go out and have fun. It's been especially hard to do the last two things since I've stopped drinking. Most of my friends are home for the summer while I still live on campus which is pretty desolate. I don't have a Facebook so it's hard to link up with the leftovers and I'm okay with that because Facebook just isn't worth it. | I don't want to look back in 10 years and be filled with regret over all the things I could have accomplished. |
t3_17h4l5 | relationships | My [25f] boyfriend's [28m] father just died, I need help helping him grieve. | My boyfriend and I (28m/25f) have been together five years. His father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer this time last year, and passed away at home last Saturday.
I've been doing everything I can to help him and his family during this time, from bringing food to go-fering, etc. At night we come home to our apartment and kind of try to unwind. Understandably, he's been expressing emotion around me that he feels he can't express when he's trying to be strong around his mother and siblings.
Tonight, we were playing a game, and we played several rounds. The last round, I legitimately outplayed him, and won. He snapped at me pretty hard, not in our usual, teasing, "screw you and the horse you rode in on," way when someone finally gains the upper hand and wins a game, but in a way that really made me feel like less of a person. I know that this is probably grief related, and I'm trying to deal with it, but, frankly, I'm in the bedroom on this subreddit, and he's still out sulking/wallowing/there's not a word for angrily flopped on the couch, so it really did bug me, enough to ask for advice. How do I deal with this? I can't be strong all the time myself!
I know everyone grieves differently, but any wisdom I can get for how to talk to him, especially in situations when he really goes too far, and crosses the line from "grieving" to "asshole," and really, generically, just how to help him, is much appreciated! | Boyfriend's dad died, he's grieving really hard, need to balance helping him grieve with letting him know he's gone too far when he gets angry and belittles me. |
t3_24zxb7 | relationships | I 21M think a girl 22 may be into me but she's a bit too clingy. | She's recently got out a relationship and we've known eachother for a while but we've been talking each day and I'm not sure I wanna be in a relationship with her even though I thought that I might and I don't know how to move forward.
I think she likes me because we've been talking each day even when she's out drinking but I'm not sure as it ways seems to be at night and when she's bored. So I decided I would leave it and not reply to one of her texts to kind of let her know I'm not gonna be there only for her amusement because she often doesn't respond if I start the conversations.
Well the last text I sent was that why is it always at night and she didn't respond until this afternoon and then the next day she replied and said well it's not just at night now. I was away from
My phone and missed it by about two hours and as I said I wanted to miss one text just for a principle how silly. Later that night I a couple of texts within 5 minutes of eachother and she seemed pissed But I was cooking dinner for my family so I saw it an hour later and the last text said she was going to bed.
I dunno if she likes me but if she does this isn't the kind of relationship I want if we are just friends now. How can I approach this with her? | I think a girl likes me but I'm not sure she seems a little clingy if I don't text back and I don't want that in a relationship and I dunno how to approach it with her. |
t3_271yib | tifu | TIFU by meeting my new dentist | I'm home for the summer from college, we live in the suburbs but make the drive to Houston Chinatown every two weeks or so for groceries. This week, I went with my parents and younger brother this time because I had a dentist appointment. Now, the dentist I used to have got in a little bit of trouble with the law (she's the one who took out all 4 of my wisdom teeth without anesthetics, see my post history) and "retired" back to China, we have a new dentist operating in the same facility now. Anyways, we drove there without incident and I started to get the general clean. It wasn't the actual doctor, but some assistant. She seemed new (intern, maybe?) and she was scraping my teeth with the slow precision of someone dismantling a bomb. She was leaning *so close* to my mouth, like, her nose was almost touching my front teeth (significant because Chinese noses). While she was scraping away, I just had a random thought... "I wonder what would happen if I just headbutted her right now". The look of unbroken concentration, the little wrinkle scar on her neck... I mean, she just looked... so headbuttable.
I didn't end up headbutting her, but the more I thought about it, the more amused I became. I started by smiling, then giggling, then by little laughs that sounded more like "meeeeeeep" because the assistant still had her hands (and nose) in my mouth. Soon, I was stifling violent spasms of laughter and the dentist chair was shaking because I was failing. The doctor herself came in to see what was wrong, and at that exact moment, I could no longer hold in my mirth. I started wailing with laughter, and everyone in the office and waiting room could hear it. They ended up cutting the appointment short because I couldn't compose myself enough to let them finish. I ended up laughing for around 10 minutes, and that was more than enough for everyone in the stiff Chinese dentist office to think I was crazy. They told my mom (who was waiting outside) that I was "a very interesting daughter"... I have to go back in two weeks to fill a cavity. Cringing in a corner now. | First time meeting my dentist, I think about headbutting her assistant and begin laugh loudly, everyone in the office thinks I'm insane. |
t3_gnp27 | AskReddit | Ladies of reddit - I have a sexy-times question for you. | Being prepared is a good thing. Guys who might be having sex with people have condoms available. Girls who might be having sex might also keep some condoms around.
At least 4 times in my sexing career (or an average of once every 2.5 years) there have been situations in which there was a condom malfunction, which necessitated the purchase of the morning after pill. Each fun time was then immediately followed by a trip to whatever pharmacy might be open. Once it was the middle of the day and down the street. The other three times it was across town to the 24hr pharmacy. This is a little stressful to me, and I can only imagine more stressful to the lady-friends involved.
So what if, I, like the girl with condoms, kept stock in something that I had no anatomical need for? That just in case stashed away Next Choice. Then, in the event of another condom failure, there would be no stressful "Now I have to go see the pharmacist" trip. Assuming I want to make this happen, what is the least creepy way to announce that I have the morning after pill in my single person apartment? One of the people I asked said that I should say "My ex girlfriend from (last year, 6 months ago, whatever) left this here and I never bothered getting rid of it." Another person suggested to just be honest "Accidents happen, I am just a prepared kind of guy."
At one time there was a stigma that a girl who had condoms must be a "slut." This is definitely not what I believe. In fact I have been saved by girls having condoms when I didn't on more than one occasion. Would your theoretical man-friend having some Next Choice tucked away make you seriously question his level of creepiness? | What is the best way to say to a girl "I have the morning after pill, but also am not a total man-slut? |
t3_3be0i6 | relationships | I [27M] feel like my girlfriend [23F] is afraid to love me | Together for 8 months now.
She's always been cautious around the "L-word", making sure she only says it to someone she can see herself spending the rest of her life with.
So instead, we tell each other we like each other. Depending on how we feel, it'll range from "I like you" to "I really really like you". When we sing love songs, we make sure to replace "love" with "like".
I've talked to her about it. She says that while she really likes me and hopes to some day love me, we're not at that point yet.
Lately, she's gone from "I really really like you" to "I like you". I feel like we're making no progress toward actually saying "I love you".
A friend of hers broke up with his girlfriend of one year, and his ex told him that while she always liked him, she never actually loved him.
I don't want to be that couple.
Should I end this relationship knowing it'll go nowhere? Am I placing too much importance on this word? | Girlfriend doesn't want to say the L-word and we're moving further away from it ever happening. I don't want to be a couple that doesn't love each other. |
t3_4dx6bv | relationships | I [29F] received a heart transplant. Family of my donor are making my life difficult. | I received a heart transplant four years ago, I was very close to dying but that saved my life. The heart belonged to a young man who had just died.
After I received it, I was very grateful for it, and I remained in touch with their family. They were nice to me, it was a comfort for them that part of their son is still living on. I visited them every few months for a few hours and I knew it always brought them peace, and I felt better too. It was all good.
The problem started when I moved away for work six months ago and I can't do those visits anymore. I still call them every once in a while to be nice, but they don't seem to be happy with it.
Two months ago, the mother and sister of my donor added me as friend on Facebook, I accepted. Ever since then, they're liking every post, picture, or whatever I do there. Everything. It seems like they're robots doing it automatically. They sometimes leave creepy comments as well like "you look great but when I see you I really see my John" (obviously I changed the name). I don't like things like this on my page!
A few nights ago his mother called me at 11:30pm, asking me to put the phone on my chest so that she can hear the heart beating. I did that since I didn't want to be an asshole (and I owe my life to their son), but this has to stop.
How can I change this situation without being or sounding like an asshole? I don't want to cause them harm. They're clearly in pain and are still grieving. I just don't want me to be their scapegoat out of dealing with their loss properly. | The family of my donor aren't handling their grief properly and are acting creepy and strange towards me. I don't know what to do to stop this without being an asshole to them. |
t3_2zojmi | relationships | I [18M] want to help my girlfriend [18F] of 8 months with her food guilt/body image | My long distance girlfriend of 8 months suffers from what she describes as "food guilt." In short, several times a week she'll message me expressing varying degrees of anxiety over what she has eaten. She is NOT overweight (5' 7'' and 137lbs), eats very well, and exercises frequently.
Most recently, she sent pictures of other girls wearing bikinis (girls that she knows personally and others that she knows I'd hooked up with before our relationship) and expressed regret over eating bread, pasta, and Clif Bars in the last week. It's difficult to convince her that she's exercising enough (she'll go to practice for a varsity sport and be upset that she didn't go for an additional run afterward), and she doesn't fully believe me when I tell her that I find her body very attractive.
I try to climb, lift, or run about every day. She says I deserve someone that "looks as good as I do," but I cannot convince her that she is that person! We're planning a 200+ mile hike for the coming summer--clearly there is a disconnect in her self image and the reality of the situation (that she is in great shape!).
Her mother struggled with bulimia in the past and continues to have issues with body image. My girlfriend has also admitted to trying to make herself vomit (unsuccessfully) in the past but has promised she hasn't during the duration of our relationship. I believe her, and I think the physical extent of her problem is limited to diet and exercise.
Should I suggest she talk to a therapist? We're extremely close, but I'm worried she'd dismiss that as unnecessary. My thoughts are that a toxic previous relationship (ex constantly degrading her appearance) and family history have created a situation that is only exacerbated by the distance. | My beautiful ldr girlfriend gets anxiety over eating anything that might be considered remotely unhealthy despite being in great shape. Nothing I say seems to help. What should I do? |
t3_1145xa | relationships | I (25M) had a sexy dream about my friend (F) while groping and touching my fiancė (24F) in my sleep. How normal is it to have feelings for another aslong as they are not acted upon? | So last night shortly after falling asleep, I started to have a very intimate dream. In this dream a very close female friend and I were getting it on and things were getting sexy. At one point I woke up and thought to myself "Oh gosh, I hope one of these days I don't say her name aloud".
Today after getting home from work, my fiancé asks me if I was trying to put the moves on her last night while she slept. I had no clue what she was talking about until I remembered my dream. I must have been groping and touching her while dreaming about my friend. I played it off as me being silly in my sleep, and thankfully no names were called out. We have been together for 8 years. | dreamt of having sex with a female friend while I was actually touching and groping my fiancé in my sleep. |
t3_2tdems | tifu | TIFU by not adding my commonly used words to my phone's dictionary. | My friend and I both play a game on our phones where we can do these offline dungeons. Basically you send troops to defend a cave together and get rewards after a few hours.
I'm in my Game Production class and my instructor is lecturing about something super boring. So I figure I'll start a cave really quick and invite said friend while instructor continues drawing loop-de-loops on the board.
Well we accidentally both started our caves at the same time, meaning we couldn't help each other defend. My friend realized this and shot me a text that saying that we both made them... I quickly responded with "Aw fuck"... or so I thought.
My phone decided to auto correct with "Awesome ducks", but I didn't realize.
Both my neighbors in the class started uncontrollably laughing, and it ended up causing a huge scene... | My phone auto-corrected "Aw fuck" with "Awesome ducks", and my classmates caused a scene by laughing. |
t3_4dhu1w | personalfinance | Suggestion for a College Student's First Credit Card? | Hey reddit,
I am 21 and finishing my junior year in college.
I leased a car and that is about the extent of my credit history other than utility bills, if those even count...
I work a lot for a college student and usually rack up about 70 hours a week from may 1 to the end of august in the summers.
I don't save a lot during the school year and usually live paycheck to paycheck for the second semester.
Looking to build credit, I am thinking about either the Discover It Card or the Chase Freedom. Would anyone recommend these cards for someone trying to build some credit? I would most likley put gas, groceries, and possibly utilities. And I would also pay it off at the end of each month. I would use my debit card for things like going out and booze, books ect.... | I am looking for my first credit card as a college Junior for building credit and emergencies. Which one is best and what should I look for? |
t3_4ywfh2 | relationships | Me [26 M] bought gifts for a friend [25 F] I have a crush on | I'd bought some stuff which I knew she'd like for her birthday. I want to show her that I like her, but I was not certain if it'd be okay to gift her something not entirely cheap lest she felt it's a bit too much! In any event my friend group is getting together to throw a party for her in a week as well. Should I just gift the stuff on behalf of the group? She'll know I bought it and that I was thoughtful. But would that in anyway mean that I am signalling that I like her only as a friend? | Overthinking about whether I should give a crush/friend a slightly expensive gift (~$50) and if it'd be creepy. Also overthinking about whether I should include the friend group in it. |
t3_3hf05g | relationships | Me [28 M] with my sibling [32] -- how can i gracefully weasel out of buying myself presents? | Reddit, please weigh in on this:
I maintain an Amazon wishlist to make it easy for friends/family to get me presents (if they want to). Most of my family/friends do too. Sibling says s/he can't navigate Amazon well enough to make this happen.
> Sibling asks, "could you just buy yourself some of those, and I'll send you a personal check for the amount?"
- One side of me says wtf? really?
- The other says be nice, purchase yourself the gift(s), act happy ...like a bank run to deposit a small personal check is totally OK...
Other thoughts occur to me, like say "it's ok -- just forget it" (this could create guilt and blowback) ... none seem satisfactory.
What you think of this Reddit? What would you do? | Sibling wants to me to buy my own Amazon wishlist and send me check. Seems whack to me. Maybe. |
t3_4goguu | relationships | I (28f) think my ex (35m) is finally trying to be friends? | The other day, yesterday in fact, he asked me if I did anything with my hair, because it looked darker(to him) and I shrugged and joked that its probably because I haven't washed it in a couple of days...he looked surprised and said, "oh, sometimes I have days like that, too.
The reason I bring this up is because he has had problems talking to me ( we "dated" for a few months last year, which I ended it. We still talked for about a month after that, then completely stopped around two months ago( he started dating someone around that time. I've dated but haven't really found anyone until recently) He is also extremely shy.
We've messaged each other on Facebook twice(two short teasing conversations)
I know I'm probably reading too much into this, but could he have been trying to gauge if I still like him? I believe the reason he's been having trouble talking to me( another person at work told me he checks around the corner to see if I'm there, in order to avoid me if I am.) Is because he thinks I still like him, which I do, but in a brother/sister kind of way. I'm the type of person that tries to make everyone happy( it for some reason makes me happy when everyone gets along) | my extremely shy ex sort of complimented me, after we've only talked twice in the past two months, and I don't know what to make of it... |
t3_51vd6i | relationships | My friend [14F] keeps hinting that she was abused or assaulted and I [14M] don't know how to respond | My friend Alex and I are both freshmen this year, and we've been friends for the last two. Our mutual group of friends is fairly risqué with regards to conversation topics, and Alex is okay with that, but she's expressed that she's uncomfortable whenever assault or abuse comes up. (Note that we're not making light of it, and also that we do attempt to avoid discussing those topics when Alex is around.)
That would be fine — everyone has stuff they'd rather avoid, and I can respect that — but Alex has implied that there's a reason beyond general squeamishness. The following is paraphrased from a recent text:
*[irrelevant stuff] to cope through what I went through with a guy. Let's just say there's a very good reason I hate talking about it.*
She's said things like this before, not often but frequently enough for myself and a lot of our friends to notice, but she always refuses to elaborate. I'd never say this to her face (or to anyone without the veil of anonymity) but I think it's a possibility that she's pretending she was abused? She loves being the center of attention.
A couple things to note: Alex has said that she's interested in older guys — as in, seniors in high school or guys in college — and this was going on at least during the last year of middle school as well. A lot of pictures on her Instagram, intentionally or not, make her look older than she is, and she frequently acquires Internet suitors in that age range. She's shown me some of their conversations and the guys can get *creepy*, even or especially once they discover her age. Despite that, she'll keep talking to them.
I don't know if she was actually abused and I hope I'm not a terrible person for having doubts. Regardless, what steps should I take — if any — to help her? | Friend frequently implies that something happened to her that involved abuse. I don't want to ruin my friendship with her but I want to help — if she's telling the truth, which isn't a given. |
t3_w5tc1 | relationship_advice | (21f) Was blind-sided last night as my boyfriend told me he just simply isn't in love with me, how do I cope with the break up? | The title is self explanatory, but yeah, my boyfriend- who I've been with for just over two years; and I had a rocky spot about eight months ago where I had violated the trust of our relationship, we broke up for a short time and got back together saying we were going to work it out because we loved each other and wanted a future between us.
Things were going really well, he was planning on moving closer to me, we were talking about maybe moving in together, we were moving towards that future and those goals. I had fallen madly deeply in love again and wanted nothing more than to make things work. He wanted to spend more time with me and my friends and me with his, and we began doing that. As I said before things were moving along smoothly or seemingly so.
I had been staying with him more or less nightly for a few weeks, one night he told me that the past issue was still bothering him and I suggested we talk about it but he dismissed it and said he didn't want to which I was okay with I figured we would talk about it if it was really bothering him. This was the first mention of this in months.
Then last night he comes up to talk to me about it, and just simply tells me that he isn't in love with me any more, he hasn't been for the last eight months, and though part of him loves me and he doesn't want to break up with me, we are going to. Or have.... whatever. He also said that the only reason we got back together was in the hopes that our relationship would just "fizzle out"... This man is my best friend he is the light of my life we laugh and have fun together... I just have no idea how to respond or cope what to say or do... if there's any advice out there I could really use it. | Man I love told me he just isn't in love with me anymore and the last eight months were an attempt to make our relationship "fizzle out", I need advice on how to cope. |
t3_khdrn | AskReddit | Is auto dealing from your home illegal? | So I live in Oregon and saw a promising car add on craiglist. It had a salvage title, but I figured for the right cost it was worth a look. The first visit struck me as odd. The owners were Russian and didn't speak a word of english, they had at least 10 cars in their driveway, and had delegated negotiation of the sale to their hot blonde 20-something daughter. I probably should have walked away there, but decided to have a local inspection company take a look. I was a bit skeptical when the daughter had no idea what had happened to the car or what kind of repairs were done.
The inspection guy revealed to me a whole mess of problems. I was fine with the salvage title, but he informed me the repairs were half-assed and the driver side seat belt had simply been screwed to the floor. There were frame issues, shoddy paint work issues, and the car's onboard computer system was unresponsive. The car was simply unsafe to drive.
Once the inspection was complete, the guy doing it also told me that he lives in the area and knows this family has a habit of cheaply repairing cars for profit. He wasn't surprised to see them try to rip me off. So my question for you reddit, is this illegal? I realize Oregon has goofy laws regarding car titles, but I feel like I just avoided something that will undoubtably happen to someone else. | Tried to buy a branded title car, turned out to be Russian Scammers doing business out of their house. Is it legal or what should I do? |
t3_4kjzya | tifu | TIFU Room mates can be deadly!!!!! | I have lived alone for the majority of my adult life. Last week i moved into a house with my friend from high school. Split accommodations/bills and what not. Cool.
Every morning i wake up for 6 am, as i start work at 8 and i go for a 45 minute run to start my day. Get hydrated, fresh air, mind running. After my run i usually get in, right to the fridge and chug a bottle of water (which i down in like 4 seconds). Did that yesterday, only to find out my room mate had filled the exact bottle of water with vodka. I was still breathing heavy through my mouth and didn't even smell it. I must have chugged half the bottle in a gulp or two. I was immediately hammered. He wasn't home as he works 7-3. I was terrified to call in to work as I've only had this job for three months. Needless to say as with everything in life.
Communication is key. | Went for 6 am run. Came home to bottle of water in the fridge. Not water. Vodka. I Am now drunk, half an hour before work. Room mates suck. Communication is key. |
t3_20epjy | Parenting | Feel like the daycare blew it, but wanted some opinions on how bad. | So, I picked up my daughter at daycare yesterday. She is about 2.5 years old. Ladies tell me she wasn't listening that well. I pick her up and get a bit of a poo smell from her, but I ignore it because of the distractions of getting her coat on and picking up her stuff etc. We go to the car and she is complaining about having to sit in her seat and crying to some extent.
I get her home and she has poop stains on her pants that look like they have been there for a while. So, I go to change those and she is complaining bitterly about having her diaper changed. I open up the diaper and there is some poop in there, not a huge one, but enough and it looks like it has been there for a while and she has a really bad diaper rash, like really red and all over her bottom. It's obvious she is in pain as I am cleaning her up and putting the rash cream on and later she lay on her stomach on the couch rather than sit and she didn't even want to get into her bath obviously because of the rash.
I sent a really stern email to the daycare (mostly because the owner isn't always there at beginning or end of day and I might miss her) about the situation and pointed out how they dropped the ball and that I expected better. It seems as if the younger women at the end of the day aren't as vigilant about this stuff as I've noticed one or two other incidents where she hasn't been that clean when she came home, but nothing this bad. I admit that my daughter tends to not say anything if she has pooped, but she is a toddler and it's hard to reason with her at times so you kind of expect that they should be vigilant and it's not like the pants and the smell weren't a clue.
My wife was nervous about my email, because she thought they might respond negatively and I just said that if they did then that the place isn't the right one for us anymore and that if anything they should be mollifying us and assuring us that they would make this right. | Daycare let my daughter sit in her own poop for a while and she came home with a bad diaper rash. I told the daycare in a stern, but polite way that they blew it. |
t3_32j6ew | relationship_advice | I [18/m] am getting hit on regularly by [19/f] but I can't tell if it's specific to me or not. | I've known her for about four months. Within the last few weeks she's gotten really flirty with me, but not really on a regular basis. She'll sit on my lap, lightly touch my face as she passes me, hold my hand, call me "bae", things like that. I reciprocate a lot of the time, but I'm not as smooth as she is, so sometimes I just kinda let it slide.
She's kind of a flirty person, so I can't really tell if she's directing these actions at me specifically or just guys in general. For example, I've never seen her sit on another guy's lap, but I'm sure it's happened since we've met. She's a real party girl, and engages in drunken adventures with her friends pretty regularly on the weekends.
We've hung out a few times, and she'll tell me about these "super attractive guys" that she met at a party last weekend. I've narrowed this behavior down to two possibilities: She has no interest in me and just likes bragging about meeting good looking guys, or she brings up these other guys to make me feel jealous (if this is her goal, it works). I don't know for sure though, could be wrong on both counts.
Sometimes I feel like we have great chemistry and really like each other, other times I feel like there's nothing there.
Could this be something real? Is she just using me to boost her own self-esteem? If this is worth pursuing, what is my next step? Should I have masturbated before writing this post? Probably. But whatever. I'd really appreciate any help. | Recently started crushing on a girl who likes to flirt. Can't tell if her flirtation is directed at only me or other guys, too. |
t3_29z0e1 | relationships | My [30 M] friends girlfriend absolutely hates my gf [30 F] of 7 years, blocks her invitation to parties | My girlfriend has made mortal enemies of one or two girls in our social circle.
The problem is that those girls convince the rest of people to not invite her to parties, trips together, and so on. I'm generally liked, but because of that I either don't get invited, or get invited solo.
To give you a concrete example. I just got a facebook invite for a grill party next weekend. There are three couples invited, and well.. me, just me.
So, the question is as to what I do with such requests? Do I say "it's either us together, or I don't go", and risk being excluded from the social circle, or do I go, have fun, and hope that one day my friends will change their minds? | My girlfriend sometimes doesn't get invited to parties by my friends, I do. Do I ignore such invites, or do I go nevertheless? |
t3_256hgb | relationship_advice | I (f 22) have an absurdly intense crush on someone fairly older (m 40+?) | Firstly, I'm willing to admit that the crush I have on this guy is completely irrational.
We met through work.
We've probably spent a grand total of maybe 20 hours together in total.
But he makes me feel like I'm some incredibly dumb high school-aged girl; butterflies in my stomach, smiling idly to myself whenever I get something even so simple as an email from him.
Speaking of emails, I feel like the emails between him and me versus he, I and other people have completely different tones. As in, between just the two of us, he's totally willing to use far more informal phrases and things like smiling and winking emoticons (lame that I take this as a ~sign~, right?!).
And what makes it worse, is that he has 4 kids, one of which is only 8 years younger than I am.
I ask for advice because I feel like I'm reading in-between lines that aren't there and I am more than likely setting myself up for disappointment.
I've done really dumb things like googling "body language signs of attraction" and compared what's found on those lists against what kinds of ~body language~ he uses when I'm around (often I've found that what those lists say and what he does are the same).
He always talks about his kids, but never a spouse. And today in the workplace, he put his youngest child on speakerphone and let me talk to them -- totally the highlight of MY day -- which in my mind is totally a sign that he at least likes me as a person, I guess.
Additionally, it's not like he's particularly shy about sharing aspects of his personal(ish) life with me, even in an environment as formal as the workplace.
I really just don't know. I definitely recognize that most of what I view as "signs" that maybe he fancies me as much as I fancy him are purely me projecting.
Any takers for advice? | Fairly older man with children never talks about a spouse and I feel like the way he holds himself around me and the way he talks to me implies that he's interested in me. Am I desperate? |
t3_nrgjv | AskReddit | How do you find a person who doesn't want to be found? | My aunt suffers from extreme Asperger's and, after having a mental breakdown 10 years ago, severed ties with everyone. My dad hires a PI every year to track her down and let her know that we want to see her again (she loved my little brother and me more than anyone in the world). The PIs have been successful a few times, but when they find her she refuses to make contact and moves again. Unfortunately, the last time she was heard from was 5 years ago. Due to her deteriorating mental health and poor diet, we fear that she could be dead or institutionalized. However, we can't track her down because she lives almost entirely off the grid (no credit cards, cell phones, etc). I'm about to graduate from high school, and she was my favorite aunt. I'd love to try to reach out to her (if she's alive), because I feel like she would respond to my brother and me better than other family members. I know there's a good possibility that she's not alive, but, as terrible as it sounds, that would bring a lot of relief to my family. We fear she might be homeless or hospitalized, and knowing if she's living or not would bring us a lot of closure. | Aunt has severe Aspergers and cut off contact from family 10 years ago, PIs haven't found her since 2006, how can I find her? |
t3_4m8qqo | relationships | Me [21 F] with my friend [21 F] of a couple years who is constantly negative, do I point it out to her? | I met this girl Rachel when I first started college and we've been "friends" since. I don't really care for her as a person, I never go out of my way to ask her to do anything with me, I just happen to have to hang around her a lot because she is always around with my friend group and sending us group chat messages.
She is a very negative person in that she just complains constantly. I know she has issues with anxiety (and yes, she's in therapy), I get it, I used to have issues with anxiety and I love to complain too, but with her it gets to a point where it's literally impossible to talk to her about something without her saying a negative thing about it. I don't think I've ever heard her say a single nice thing about anyone, either.
She's not exactly a bully, but she definitely does pick on people in a weird way. For example, we have a mutual friend who has a lot of trouble dealing with school in general. If this friend ever shows up to class late, forgets to study for a test, etc, instead of saying something supportive or encouraging, Rachel is "helpful" by reinforcing how bad this friend is at school... she will say something like "if you don't show up you're going to fail" "if you don't study you're going to fail" "i don't know why you are so worried about this test, you never show up to class anyway" etc. It's just not a nice attitude to have to be dealing with from someone...
At this point I would just stop being her friend altogether, but she's always hanging around my social circle and doesn't seem to have any other friends. Is there any tactful way I could approach her about having this attitude, or should I just try to avoid her as much as possible? | a friend that I can't seem to shake lives to suck the joy and positivity out of everything around her. is there any polite way to bring this to her attention? |
t3_3es01g | relationships | I'm (22F) and in love with a (50M). Been seeing each other for almost a year. He has a partner (40F) but is planning to leave her. Could this actually work? | Met Tom through a colleague, we instantly clicked and found each other spending more and more time together. I have an old soul and my parents are older than Tom, so his age didn't bother me (I usually date older men anyway). He told me he has a partner and I was fine with that as I didn't immediately considered a serious relationship.
We started having casual relations and I was still fine with that because there were no serious ties. We started to see each other more (basically everyday) and things began to get serious. I thought about his partner and felt disgusted at both of us but I couldn't help the way I feel about him.
He told me that things at home were awful, they weren't married (both had been married before, and been together for 5/6 years with no kids together) but she is very business oriented and it seemed to create distance between them. They both own a construction company meaning that he is very flexible with his time and she is always in the office or on sites.
He told me he had thought about leaving her but business ties are making it hard to just leave her so I said I'll wait for him.
I know our age gap is huge but that doesn't bother me at all. I'm aware that he is having an affair and although I really want to be with him, I guess I am being blinded with love. Once a cheater is always a cheater right? Or could this actually work? | In love with a guy 28 years my senior, he has a partner (not married, no children). Business ties making it difficult to leave his partner, but we both want to be together. |
t3_30p6q4 | relationships | GF (32) moved out and took a vaporizer that she bought after she broke mine I(33M) she didn't tell me, what to say? | So First off I'm not really sure if we are going to get back together or not. Also my family and her had an 'intervention' for my pot use and its a bit unclear how involved with this she was or if she really got the ball rolling on the whole thing. I've quit smoking weed. The story behind the vaporizer is that she broke my really expensive one $500 and it was irreplaceable and unfixable due to the company launching Version 2, she also didn't mention it when she broke it so I came home to use it only to find it broken and she was out on the town somewhere. So after realizing we couldn't replace or fix it she bought this portable vaporizer to fix the situation
This morning I get an email from the portable vaporizers tech support acknowledging they got my request and I this point since it was no longer in the place that I kept it and I wasn't here when she was moving out its pretty safe to assume that she took it. I feel like the vaporizer was mine since she bought it to replace something she broke. Now if she had asked I probably would have given it to her. But at the same time I could have sold it to put money towards a guitar amp that I have been saving for.
I thought about just forwarding the email to her and saying that I wish she had told me, but I don't want to stir up any drama. Also I know what needs to happen to fix it. It feels a bit like she stole from me. | GF took vaporizer that she bought to replace mine she broke, moved out and took it back without telling me. What to say? |
t3_2lu3vk | relationships | Me [27 F] with my BF [25 M]; 3-year relationship ending - what now? | About half a year ago, I moved back to my home town (roughly halfway across the country), in order to try to pursue grad school back here, because I realized I hated my job and didn't see myself doing something I felt was neither challenging nor inspiring. The crappy pay didn't help either.
So, my boyfriend and I started a LDR under the assumption it would be pretty temporary. He was supposed to move out here with me when I had settled down, gotten accepted into grad school and gotten a full time job. We had discussed this last year, and he had told me he was willing to make the sacrifice to move out here with me. We both love the west coast, so that was where (I thought) we'd eventually end up, after I finished school.
Yesterday night he called me and told me he'd been thinking about our situation and realized he absolutely did not want to move out of state to be with me. He also said he didn't want to give up this relationship, but I had already made it known before I moved that doing a LDR for an indefinite amount of time was not going to be okay with me.
I don't even know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. I am pretty sure I made the right decision, because there's no point in forcing a relationship if, after 3 years, our goals and values in terms of moving forward in life were not shared. I've gone through moments of extreme anger, despair, and even giddiness at the prospect of being single for the first time in a long time.
My boyfriend and I had been dating for a little over 3 years. He was my first boyfriend, and I guess because it took me such a long damn time to be happy with a partner (I'm very emotionally withdrawn, so it's very hard for me to form such a strong attachment to anybody), I feel terrified that I'll never find something like this again.
Oh, and to top it off, tomorrow (well, I guess technically today) is his birthday. What the fuck do I do? Do I ignore it, or wish him happy birthday? I bought him a 3DS. Do I mail him the present anyway? | Just ended a 3-year relationship, and my emotions (and sometimes lack thereof) are confusing me. I'm just feeling lost and bewildered. Where do I go from here? |
t3_3dsiuw | relationships | I [m23] don't find my girlfriend [f23] sexy any more. | We've been dating for a few years now and I am still in love with her as I ever was. I think she is beautiful but I don't find her sexy any more. I don't find myself getting excited to explore her body or get particularly aroused by her touch or sight of her naked body. Her appearance hasn't changed much since we started dating. She hasn't put on noticeable weight or anything like that and she really does have a nice body and a pretty face but it has lost it's excitement for me. I can still get off to porn pretty easily so I don't think it has to do with my hormones. I have only had sex with her (though I have dated several girls before her) and I find my mind wandering sometimes and wondering what it would be like to be with another woman.
I am not unhappy at all when I am with her. She's still my best friend but I can't deny that I simply find it less appealing to have sex with her. It seems boring and everything expected. I wish I still had the same excitement that I used to because I still love her very much but I don't know how. I can't tell her this without her feeling completely self conscious and it wouldn't do anything but make her feel bad because she wouldn't know how to help and it's not something I want her to feel responsible for or pressured by. Any advice would be very welcome. | I've been dating my girlfriend for a few years and while she is beautiful and hasn't changed much in appearance, I don't find her sexually appealing any more or find sex as arousing. |
t3_37anc6 | relationships | A girl [24f] I [28M] have been seeing suddenly went no contact | So I've been seeing this girl through tinder (yea I know) for about 6 dates. We have been getting along really well and texting that we really would like to keep seeing each other.
This Friday we were supposed to go to a festival together but she didn't reply to my texts all of Thursday. Friday morning she texts me, apologizes and says she's come down with really bad stomach flu and was in the ED all night which is why she hasn't gotten back to me.
She asks for a reschedule on Memorial Day when we were supposed to chill and go for drive and check out some scenic spots and she was pretty excited about it saying she really wants to see me and discussing the time and place to meet. All of a sudden after I ask if she prefers pre/post lunch she doesn't get back to me.
She hasn't gotten back to me (Monday night) at this point from Friday morning. She hasn't updated her social networks at all and she hasn't read or seen any of her snaps.
I'm not really sure what I want to do at this point. I've called and texted with no response. I feel like she could of possibly just lost her phone, but I kind of want to make sure it isn't anything more serious illness wise.
I've picked her up a few times at her place, I'm debating whether to drop by and just ring the doorbell but it seems awful stalkerish (lives with mother). Any advice on what I should do? Or should I just chalk this up to a no interest/ no contact relationship? | dating girl, going well, she had recent illness, no contact for 3 days should I visit her house to see how she's doing? |
t3_2n4g57 | relationships | My [27/m] gf's ][27/f] best friend/ex-boyfriend [27/m] is visiting her and I feel jealous but can play it cool. Should I tell her? | Been dating this girl for about 6 months now. She is really close friends with on ex of hers. They've known eachother since they were really young, and dated for about five years. They broke up and remained friends.
He's in town for the weekend, staying at her place. They spent all day together, and last minute asked if I want to join them for drinks. I'm actually heading to the bar now. I'm going to have fun and be cool about it, but I dunno, I feel weird.
I've been cheated on before and definitely have trust issues.
Should I tell her I feel uncomfortable about the whole thing? Or just let it slide? | GF's is really good friends with an ex she dates for 5 years, and he is staying at her place. I trust her but I still feel jealous. Should I even bothering mentioning this to her? |
t3_23eal9 | relationships | Talk the talk but can't walk the walk | Hey I(m) 25 and my girl(f)riend 24 of four years is very upset with me.
There's been some trust issues in the past due to my lying, ive since than regained her trust until the other week she found a pill in my pocket and I lied to her.
She now dosnt trust me and has heard all my bull shit talk. Shes tired of me talking. I'm trying to make an effort but she thinks I'm not making any effort at all.
What are some things I can do to helo regain her trust and make an effort without talking but by doing | I need some advice on how to make an effort by not talking cuz I'm good at that but by my actions. |
t3_30ek52 | tifu | TIFU by trying to defend my colleague. | Well, I thought that I would never have to post a TIFU yet, here we are.
This morning I came to work two hours earlier because I had a report to do. I didn't expect to be finished quite so quickly so I decided to pass time in our common room.
This is where the Fuck Up begins. I come in to find my colleagues taking the micky out of another one of my colleagues, work banter, I get that. They mentioned something about the report we all had to do. The other people were laughing at the somewhat clumsy use of English that my colleague used in his report. Then, in hope of defending him I said, in my infinite wisdom: "Lay off of him, maybe he has dyslexia."... oh boy. I was then shouted at for basically calling him stupid and thick, and every time I tried to explain what I meant, I dug myself a nice, deep grave. I was shouted out of the room in complete embarrassment and shock.
About two hours later someone was passing by my cubicle and threw his report on the table and asked me whether he has dyslexia. I tried to explain what I meant again, but to no avil. The next couple of days will be interesting. | In good intentions I told my colleague he was stupid which was the reason for a bad report. As a result I have no friends left in my workplace. I also have a new nickname. Dyslexia. Fun. |
t3_32ahww | relationships | I [19F] have had a FWB [21M] for 4 months but recently have started getting to know and meeting another guy [21M] who seems to be interested in me romantically. Should I tell him about the fwb? | I don't think there's that much to explain, but I'll give more details anyway. I've had this fwb relationship for some time and he's proven himself to be amazing in every way that I don't think I can find anyone else as perfectly matched in terms of sex and fetishes. Most of the time he would come over to my place, we fuck, then he leaves. Occasionally I'd tag along to hang out with his friends for a drink and I get along with them too. They don't know our actual status so they assume we're boyfriend and girlfriend.
Last week I started chatting up another guy and we just met yesterday for the first time at 3 AM for a drink (yes that does sound dangerous and careless I'm sorry mum and dad) and we had a great time together, driving around aimlessly till 530 AM and stayed at my place sharing music tastes (which turn out to be similar) by taking turns watching youtube music videos until he left in the morning around 8 AM. He's a sweet guy and seems to have taken a liking to me already.
Now, I'm in a difficult position. As selfish as it sounds, I don't want to give up the sex I'm having with the fwb until he goes overseas to continue his studies this year. I personally don't want to disclose the fwb relationship to the newer guy but if this ends up as a serious relationship I probably should tell him very early on for the sake of honesty and clear communication.
What would you guys here advise that I do? Thanks for any input in advance. | Might start dating a guy but I've been seeing another guy who's a sex friend. Trying to decide if I should explain myself to him about the fwb. |
t3_dw38z | AskReddit | I'm curious about America and China's political and economic development. Reddit, where do I start? | I recently started to read more politics and world-event news and considering the state of affairs here in the ol' U.S. of A, I want to know more about how exactly we've gotten here.
So, I'm wondering where I could find information about our political and economic development since the 40's. Books would be definitely a good place to start and websites are most welcome (pdfs can join the party too)
For China, I'm more interested in more contemporary history (I am fascinated and curious to see how they continue to develop and exercise influence as an economic superpower), but I'm afraid I don't know too much about its history in general so if I need to start a ways back, I'm open to that too.
Where do I start? | interesting in economic and political developments in China and U.S. in recent years. Where can I find some of the less biased historical accounts of this? |
t3_147wdh | relationships | I (f23) think my boyfriend's (m24) friend (f23) is kind of a flake, and I'm not sure how to address it. | I've been with my boyfriend and have known him for three years now. His friend has been friends with him for just a little bit longer than I have known him. The two are fairly close, considering she no longer lives near him. Though they now live a state away, every once in a while they plan a meet-up for a lunch date.But whenever it's planned out that I'm coming along to (finally) meet her, she cancels the night before. Every. Single. Time.
"I have to go to a birthday party." Or, "I forgot I'm already doing something." (Mind you, the meet-ups are planned weeks in advance)
I'm not sure if I should tell my boyfriend how I feel, or message her over Facebook and try to get some kind of an answer, or both. Any sort of advice or guidance appreciated. :) | Still haven't met friend of boyfriend's for over three years because she cancels on us when I plan on coming out on their lunch dates, and I'm not sure how to start this conversation... |
t3_1mp00c | relationships | Me[27M] with my recently ex [25f] of 2 mo. wants to start over. | I started seeing my recent ex (broke up yesterday) about 2 and a half months ago. I met her through my younger sister and we kinda hit it off and basically hung out just about every day since.
Recently school has started again and with her workload and school we barely saw each other at all. I'm not in school anymore so I naturally have more time on my hands.
She started becoming more distant and stressed because of school and work and not feeling like she could attribute enough time to me anymore. She wants to take a step back and start over as friends and get to know each other better. She felt our relationship was mostly centered around sex and moved too quickly, but I don't exactly feel that way.
How can I transition back to just being friends with her with hopes of becoming intimate and being in a relationship with her again? Should I just leave her alone and let her initiate most of the contact? | Recent ex gf wants to start over and just be friends, how do I transition to this with hopes of being in a relationship with her again? |
t3_32d9q6 | Advice | Leaving my country for college. | Hello Reddit,
I would really appreciate some advice right now.
I am a talented student from Mexico City with a passion for Computer Science and Technology. I attended an inadequate Jewish school in Mexico until Grade 10, and then I managed to finish High School at a boarding school in Canada. I love it here... I finally have friends that are truly like me and the academics are amazing.
I got into Georgia Tech for Computer Science (after being rejected from the Ivies, which is okay) and I am very very conflicted.
I want to go off to college and live my own life and travel and change the world. But I miss my family. I miss my parents, my brothers, my nephews, and my nieces. I miss being close to them.
It seems as if wherever I go, I will be unhappy. If I stay in Mexico I will feel as if I missed my chance and I will never be happy with the level of academics (on top of the fact that I hate Mexico City.) If I go to GaTech I will be unhappy missing my family.
So I ask advice of you: people who are older and wiser than I am, and who have been through similar dilemmas. | I hate Mexico City and got into college in the states, want to leave because of academics but don't want to leave because of my family. Need advice. |
t3_106jdv | relationships | New relationship with a girl (22) and her ex (23) has been texting her. Should I be worried? | So me (26) and this girl (22) have been been officially bf/gf for a bit over a month but were sort of dating for a month or two before that. We're still in that honeymoon phase of the relationship were everything is exciting and fun but a few days ago her ex (23) started texting her. They went out for about a year and a half and stopped dating about 4 months before seeing me. They broke up because he wasn't "ready" for a serious relationship. I saw the first text since we were googling stuff on her phone but since then shes been very protective with her phone... making sure to take it to the bathroom, napping with it under her pillow, etc. I'm scared that he is trying to convince her to get back with him. Considering they have a long history, I'm pretty scared he will succeed. She seems to be really into me but at the same time she is super vague when I ask about him. Am I being paranoid? Is there anything I can/should do about it? | New gf is texting old bf (who wants her back). She likes me but they have history. Should I be worried? |
t3_4n1l5d | tifu | TIFU by Stapling myself in the nuts | Ok so first some background. I just started an internship in the comms department of a prestigious research firm. I was helping to run an event--moving boxes, film equipment, etc.
Anyway, as I'm reaching down to pick up a box (lift with your legs guys) I heard a RRRIP, and tore the seam of my suit pants from my crotch to my belt.
Since this was my first week, I was to embarrassed to tell my supervisor what happened and decided the best course of action was to attempt some temporary repairs. So I grabbed my desk stapler (you see where this is going), went to the bathroom and tried to staple my pants back together. It was all going smoothly until I stapled and felt a sharp pinch.
I had stapled my scrotum to the seat of my pants. It took a good minute to untwist the staple and pull it out, and I rushed to get back to work. I spent the next two hours standing at the check in desk, trying to smile at the attendees and ignore the searing pain in my sack.
Boss didn't realize a thing, but it was definitely the most painful and embarrassing intern experience I've ever had. | tore my pants working an event at my new job, stapled my nuts trying to do repairs, had to stand for two hours with stapled nuts. |
t3_35ziav | relationships | Me [30 M] with my friend [30 F] over 9 months, am I missing any signs? | Is there a way to know for sure whether a girl friend is throwing hints that she has some level of interest in me, more than just friends...?
I have grown some seriously strong feelings for this girl I met not very long ago, we've been just friends so far, at first I honestly just saw her as a friend, also knowing she had a bf too. But it started growing into some real feelings for her, like I care for her lots now... and she recently became available too. When we hangout, I sometimes get the sense she is more open with me, in 1 on 1, deeper level of thoughts and conversations, more personal. I'm over thinking ain't I, she's just being a friend.
Are there any clues to look for to know if she's interested or not? Before I come clean with my feelings and make things all weird between us lol. | Suggestions on what to look out for to know if a girl friend is trying to show signs and hints that she might be interested in being more than friends, not sexual... just straight honest intentions. |
t3_1k3qrx | relationships | Bf [M, 20] of 3 and a half years broke up with me [F, 20] to find himself and I don't know how to be single in the meantime. Advice, please! | A month and a half ago my boyfriend of 3 and half years broke up with me with the intent to find himself. We started dating junior year of high school and continued our relationship into college. I understand that he needs to find himself, he has no confidence and made all his friends through me from high school-college. I have plenty of my own friends and I don't really feel like I need to find myself, I'm not really lost.
The problem: We saw each other everyday for 3 years almost, we were best friends, and we still love each other. So I'm kind of sitting on my hands over here not wanting to love anyone else, not wanting to have sex or hook up with anyone else waiting for him somewhat. He feels the same about the love and sex/hooking up and he's already tried to get back together with me and it was too soon and he's already tried to get us to be friends but I told him I couldn't be there to hold his hand through this as a 'friend' and it wasn't fair to both of us. We also decided being friends with benefits wouldn't be right if we wanted to keep the emotional connection we have.
Question: I'm 20 years old, waiting on someone I'm in love with and in the meantime how do I do this whole single in college thing? I don't know anything about being single as an adult. I'm kind of flailing around confused about it. Sure, Im waiting on him but what do I do in between the break up and whenever we decide to get back together or move on? | Single after 3 and a half year relationship while ex-bf finds himself. Confused as to how to be single while semi-waiting for him/not wanting to hook up with anyone else. |
t3_o1txh | books | One Day in the Afternoon of the World by William Saroyan | One of the simply best books I've read in awhile. It sparked me to read Saroyan's other works, including My Name is Aram which is so funny and sweet. One Day in the Afternoon of the World takes me back to my reading roots which strongly began with Bukowski. In high school, I felt I could identify with his angst in some way and I found his writings funny in a melancholy way. As I grew older, however, his writing became a little annoying. Saroyan, however, is not whiny or irritating. He takes the same style (sort of) as Bukowski, but makes life seem comical and light-hearted, no matter what the trouble. This book is as simple as it can get, in my opinion, and yet you walk away with so much as a reader. I am looking forward to The Human Comedy, Saroyan's most famous work. (I've heard it became a movie.) | One Day in the Afternoon of the World is a fantastic read; simple but leaves the reader with something to walk away with. |
t3_fugqx | dating_advice | 21M Never been in a relationship and confused at current situation. | So a friend of a friend (22f) stayed over for a couple weeks a few months back. Another friend constantly talked to her and said how he was in love with her, but when she arrived he ended up hanging out and sleeping with a girl next door the entire time she was here. Once the 22f left my friend started dating the girl next door and rarely talked to her. While this happened 22f and I started talking a lot and her best friend said that she might like me. Well now my friend has broken up with the girl next door and has once again started pursuing 22f while screwing a different girl each week and telling me he thinks he is in love with each of them. (She is also quite comfortable with him and I just don't know) I really like this girl, and I just don't know if I should just turn away now to avoid anymore hurt and a broken friendship or continue and just hope she actually likes me.
-Thank you Reddit | Girl stayed over for a couple weeks, friend said he loved her, then abandoned her. I like her a lot and now he likes her again. |
t3_1ewxu4 | legaladvice | Parents are divorcing and need advice for custody | I'm a 15 going on 16 year old and I have 3 siblings; 13 year old sister, 12 year old brother and a 6 year old brother. Yesterday our parents sat the three oldest of us down and told us they had filed for divorce. I'm not really bothered by it since I saw it coming. My real problem is I don't want to go anywhere my siblings go.
I don't have a good relationship with my family. My mum and dad haven't gotten along for years and have always taken their frustration out on me. They didn't want to parent us and wanted me to step up and take care of my siblings.
My siblings and I hate each other. My brother thinks its funny to wreck my stuff and steal my savings (summer jobs). My sister steals my stuff and is physically abusive (hits and scratches me). If I retaliate I get slapped and if I try to take my stuff back I get yelled at because "I'm the older sibling and should be the bigger person". The 6 year old is alright since he hasn't picked up any bad habits from those two and I wouldn't mind him staying with me.
When my parents split I want to be away from them, I want to be in the custody of the person who doesn't have their custody. I wouldn't mind going to foster homes if it comes to that, I reckon it'll be better than having those two constantly ruin my days. I don't really want to meet them either if my non-custodial parent gets visiting rights.
I don't know if I'll get asked for my preference when my custody is decided. I talked to me school counselor and she said she didn't know much about it (haven't had any kid come to her with that problem) but said she'd expect the judge to get that sorted. I don't really want to choose between my mum and dad, I just want my brother and sister to not be with me.
How do I tell the judge this if he asks me? I really want him to take me seriously on this. Thanks for reading. | Parents have filed for divorce, I prefer my brother and sister to be with one parent, and me with the other. |
t3_26l83g | relationships | People who've lived with step-siblings I have a question... | A bit of backstory - I have known my to-be step siblings (Parents getting married in two months) for over 10 years but never really talked to them but over the past 7 months I have lived with them whenever I have gone to my Dads for the weekend and we are getting along well (me 19M, a 16F, a 9F and a 8M)
My question to you though is;
How long did it take you to get accustomed to your new family (if ever) and with this did you ever get to a point where going around topless or hanging around in underware was a norm? | My step-sister always casually wonders around in underwear around the house and has encouraged me to aswell but I think its pretty odd as I can't see how she's adjusted so easily |
t3_u01s5 | AskReddit | Please help! bed bugs, chiggers, or fleas? I have pictures. | I started getting weird, not very itchy bites around 3-4 months ago, but only on my legs. Me and my roommates thought it was fleas, and thought we got rid of them,
My roommate's dogs are on all possible flea medicine. She works as a vet tech, so she gets it for free and knows quite a bit about preventing fleas.
Then, about 3 weeks ago I began to get more bites on my legs and feet. Some are small around my feet, then some about a two weeks ago I began getting very large bites that would swell up.
I thought it was Chippers because the last few bites took 12-24 hours to show up, and I had slept over a friend's house when I woke up with them blown up. Only about 4 or 5 are blown up, the rest are smaller (about 10-15).
But I read about bed bugs being in a line, and I have some that are very very small, much smaller than the large ones that have been showing up. There's no 3 circle bites, but there are 3 sets of 2 right next to each other. Again, all of these are on my legs. I may have some stray ones but I haven't seen them on my body.
Here's some [pictures] of the bug and the bites on my legs. The bug was not found on the bed, I found it under my dresser.
I apologize for the bad quality, I only have my phone to use as a camera. Any advice would be a huge help! | Don't know what bites only on my legs are. Pictures of a bug I found under my dresser and the bites. |
t3_469wia | relationships | I(17M) think I'm in love with my best friends (16M) girlfriend(16F) | First off, let me apologize as this is my first post ever to reddit and I'm on mobile. Now onto my issue, this is my first year at the school I'm at. In the group of friends I've made, my best friend has started dating another friend in the group. Now they make a great couple and I'm happy for them, but, I am also quite attracted to the girlfriend. She is funny, and we share alot of the same interests. We get along great. They, on the other hand, get into some "disagreements". From what I've been told by them(at different points in time) it usually results from the best friend getting drunk or doing something stupid. They fight and don't talk for a while and then make up. My best friends a great guy, don't get me wrong, but he's not the most mature person and he does some stupid things sometimes. I don't claim to be the most mature person either, but I do usually think through my actions before I do them. I can definitely see them together in the future but I could also see them breaking up. Now I would NEVER intentionally start shit to break them up, but if they did break up would it be in bad taste to pursue the girlfriend? | My best friend and his girlfriend make a great couple but they have issues. I think they might break up in the future and I'm wondering if it would be in bad taste to pursue the girl. |
t3_108hf7 | relationships | How do I (22F) make my boyfriend (23M) more enthusiastic about us? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years now, we get along great... there's nothing better than cuddling with him in bed.
However, over the past few months he seems to be putting in less and less effort. Now - you can judge, but at the start of the relationship I did cheat on him (I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it even now), and I think he might still have trust issues with me. We broke up but he came back to me and said he forgave me.
I have given him no reason to doubt me since and do everything I can to show him what a great girlfriend I am. He has told me I'm clingy though and that I'm a bit of a jealous person (but only because he is rather flirtatious).
I digress... We love each other. We spoke two nights ago and I said that either he puts effort into "us" or we end things, and he said "let's make things work" - but where do I go from here? He hasn't put any extra effort in since then. How do I get him to be excited about us and want to talk to me more? Before answering, please realise our love for each other is huge. He says it often and if we can get past this we can be perfect. | Boyfriend is lacking enthusiasm towards "us", how do I get him to want to put more effort in? I feel he's grown too comfortable with me making all the effort |
t3_4s0twy | legaladvice | Landlord failed to give notice house it being demolished, now being asked to leave after 60 days. [Update][NY] | My last post.
Landlord took $100 dollars to fix a screen on the front door from my last lease security deposit. Has not fixed screen.
I was given notice today that I will have 60 days to leave the property. She offered me one months rent back if I leave by August 1st. She claims there is termination clause in lease that allows this. I have read lease over and over. Do not see such a clause. I am under the impression that she is trying to get us out, so the construction company can start work earlier.
One of my roommates suggested we just stay the whole time, stop being rent until they pay us to leave. They want to start construction, and by delaying we can cause them to buy us out. May take this to the media, since the construction of this hotel has appeared in the paper afew times, could put pressure on the landlord.
I am a student, have no family in the area. Nowhere to go, no car to drive. I have an internship that I bike to every day. What do I do? | Landlord has sold property to construction company for demolition , has given me 60 days to leave after being here for 2 months. Failed to give notice when signing lease, failed to make repairs. |
t3_3v7hnu | relationships | Me [19/F] reconnecting with an old friend [20/M] but he's getting really personal really fast. | Recently I ran into a childhood neighbor and friend again for the first time since middle school. We quickly started reminiscing and talking about people we used to know, etc. and agreed to meet up and have lunch.
Everything seemed perfectly normal and friendly at first. Over lunch, however, he started to get really pretty personal-asking things like how many guys I've dated and whether I've been intimate with them. He quickly specified that he is still a virgin.
I don't totally mind that he took things to a more "date-ish" place, but I'm wondering how odd it is that he started bringing such personal things up so soon. We haven't talked in years, after all. I told him that I thought it might be best to save those conversations until we had gotten to know each other more and he seemed relatively ok with that.
I'm pretty inexperienced with guys and I guess I just don't know how to take it. Maybe those things are just important to him and he wants to find out early on? Or maybe it's a red flag?
Any thoughts are appreciated! | Reconnected with an old friend and went out to lunch with him. He immediately started asking me about prior relationships and sexual experience. Kinda weird or just trying to see if we share the same values? |
t3_4b860p | relationships | I am Ugly and Muscular. How do I go about approaching women? | Ok...So I'm 16, a sophomore in high school, and I'm pretty ugly. I was made fun of so bad in middle school that I picked up lifting and 3 sports freshman year.
I went 5ft 10 in 128 lbs at 10% body fat to 6 ft 190 lbs at 13% body fat. I am probably the most muscular in my entire class. I recently had a very attractive girl(Probably a 10) tell me that she was interested in me and then out of nowhere say that it wasn't going to work out. Also, everyday after school I have a ton of attractive girls stare at me while I'm lifting and whisper about me. Are they attracted to me? How should I approach them? What can I do to increase my chances?
Trust me confidence isn't the problem. I just want to know if they are just going to laugh at me if I approach them. Thanks for all of the help and I'm sorry if I come off as cocky, but I am just blessed to be where I am now from where I came from. ;) | I am ugly and muscular and there are women who think I'm attractive. How do I go about approaching them without getting laughed at |
t3_2fkw14 | relationships | I [19F] was getting really close to this guy [19M] and then one day he just flipped. | I was talking to this guy all summer. We hung out multiple times and we were always a good match. Always had fun together. The last time we hung out he was like "it feels good to be with you" and he kept comparing me to girls he dated in the past. Also, he told me he was going to tell my ex about us. (They're friends) it already felt like we were dating when we were together.
Was I wrong to assume we were going to become exclusive? I thought I had enough evidence to believe he was into me and wanted a relationship. Then when he went up state to tell my ex he completely ignored me and when he mesaaged me on my birthday he told me his phone was "having issues."
So after days of talking then not talking I told him how I felt. "One second you're telling me you like me and the other you're ignoring me? Did I miss the part where 'something' turned into NOTHING between us? I really thought you were different."
AND HE JUST IGNORED ME FOR WEEKS. HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND.
Now he's been snap chatting me. Wtf is going on here? | was getting close to this guy I thought was great then he started ignoring me when he went to visit my ex. Told him how I felt. Still ignoring me. Wtf. |
t3_16ecwb | loseit | How the hell do I stay within my calorie goal - I am seriously starving. | So, I have been running A LOT lately and have had no issue staying within my calorie goal and having a deficit. Well, today I am resting because I started reading up and I really shouldn't run every day. With that, I won't have a chance to work out today because we are going out straight after work to a function.
According to MFP, I only have like 300 calories left for the day. I find it very difficult to have a deficit at the end of the day on days that I don't work out. How do I stay within my 1200 calorie range and not be hungry? I've eaten right today - skipped the cupcake for my coworker's birthday, walked by the delicious cookies sitting in another department - but still manage to eat my way through 900 calories with dinner still left.
Does anyone have any suggestions on low calorie, FILLING and easy to prepare foods? I am trying to eat more at home to save money and to eat better and I like things that are quick. Also, I tend to not get up with enough time to make anything in the morning so like today, I walked out with a piece of wheat toast with low-fat peanut butter and a banana.
Also, if I work out, is it ok if I eat 1500 calories? I assume I'm in the clear as long as have at least a 500 calorie deficit - right? | I'm having a hard time staying full and staying within my calorie goal of 1200 on days that I don't work out. Need suggestions on FILLING, low calorie foods. |
t3_40oaxe | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [23M] takes criticism really personally. How to better communicate? | I've been dating Trevor for six months. Trevor has this problem where whenever I voice issues or concerns that I have with him/our relationship, he retaliates with a comeback for what I'm doing wrong. Note, we don't live together officially, but we spend a lot of time sleeping over at each others places.
Here are some examples:
* I will say to him: "Hey, do you mind being a little more careful when you get ready for work in the morning? I think you keep accidentally slamming shut drawers loudly, and it's waking me up." And he will respond: "Okay, fine, but you always leave the bathroom light on at night and I never say anything."
* I will say to him: "Could you please only use a plastic or wood spatula on this pan? I think you've been using a fork and its leaving scratches." and he will respond "Okay, but I think you should clean out the coffee pot before you leave for work instead of when you get home."
* During sex, when I'll say "Hey, could you try doing it this way, it feels better" he will respond "okay, but when you do xyz it doesn't feel very good for me so you should do it this way instead"
Essentially, he will only voice his issues with me when I do it first, and it always comes across as a retaliation. I understand that I'm not a perfect girlfriend, but I think stuff like this should be voiced in a more genuine way. I don't really know how to make him see this, or why he keeps stuff bottled up. Any advice? | Whenever I tell my boyfriend about an issue I have in our relationship, he will respond with some sort of comeback for what I'm doing wrong. |
t3_2alg34 | relationships | Post-breakup blues | So, I did a transatlantic move for my now-ex. Me-22/F, Her-20/F. We lived together for 7 months and just called it off a few days ago. Still living together until I gather my crap, collect my final paycheck, and return to my home country. To be greeted by angry parents (i ignored their attempts to curb my impulsivity), a mountain of debt and a shit credit score, no degree, no car, and no job.
My parents are allowing my to stay with them until I get a handle on my shit- financially I have a lot to do. It's not the greatest situation for anyone involved, there is a lot of anger on their side. I was a shit child when I lived with them, and I've had a sad amount of false starts in my life. Each ending with returning to their house, generally treating them like crap because I felt so entitled and wrapped up in my own melodramatic bullshit.
As of right now, I have absolutely zero hope for my future. Add in my depressive tendencies, and I'm imagining the next few years (decades?) of my life are going to be very dark.
I keep thinking about how this is supposedly "for the better." How she wants to stay somewhat in touch. How I have to plan a future that doesn't involve her, and doesn't involve crazy citizenship plans, and I get so sad all over again.
I know time is supposed to make everything better, and I know that not being on the same continent is definitely going to ease the pain. But I find myself thinking about how my life doesn't include a future with her anymore, just a shitton of financial fiascos and no prospects and I'm so tired already.
Half of me is excited to go back, even if only because it means I won't have to listen to her lecturing me about now I have a have to improve myself and fix my life, as she has been doing since we broke up. But the rest of me looks at the endless...nothingness in front of me and just wants to give up already.
Here's to hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel, eh? | transatlantic move ended in breakup, nothing left back home for me but debt and living with my parents. Sob story above. |
t3_1w9aav | relationships | I [17M] don't know how to channel my jealousy and anxiety towards my [17F] girlfriend, and her [17M] best friend. | Essentially, my girlfriend suffers from depression and such things, and to make matters worse, her family is falling apart. Needless to say, she's been clinging to her best friend of nearly six years, rather than her boyfriend of one.
I find myself stalking her Skype to see if she's online after she already told me she couldn't talk. I lose sleep wondering why she keeps me around if I'm of no use to her. I Shouldn't do these things, but I can't stop.
What's wrong with *me?* Why can't she come to *me?*
I've been incredibly harsh with her lately on account of the pressure, and I think she's starting to get fed up. How do I stop and acknowledge that she needs him and not me?
Is there a chance she's manipulating me?
He's a nice guy. He really is, and I love him almost as much as she does, but I don't trust them. I need help being normal, and shoving this into the back of my mind.
Also, this isn't about her. This is me not knowing how to be rational. I've broken her trust in the past, so she has no reason to confide in me. I broke her trust in telling my best friend (her nemesis) about her family situation. I did so because I was paranoid. I need to be rational in the heat of the moment.
This is all word vomit. I apologize. | I'm clingy and I hate it. She may also be wrong, but I'm too infatuated to tell. |
t3_s6uo4 | loseit | Is there anything inherently wrong with eating mostly fruit? | Stats: 24/f, 5'4 and 150. I've always eaten healthy, but my main problem is overeating. As the weather gets warmer, pretty much all I want to eat is fruit. I'll have a huge bunch of grapes and a mango for breakfast, apples with cheese for lunch, and dinner is usually something of a wild card. I'm wondering: if I'm technically getting 1200 - 1400 calories a day, is there any potential risk to eating only fruit? Also, will I lose any weight this way, or will the sugars/carbs hold me back? | If all I eat is a LOT of fruit, will I slim down, or just be a chubby girl who eats a lot of fruit? |
t3_2h03sq | relationships | Should I stay or leave? | Throwaway account obviously,
Me [20F] and SO [23M], have been in a relationship for over one year, however it has began to start going downhill! He is an important part in my life but I few issues have been occurring that makes me wonder if these are red flag warning signs or is that what a relationship entails.
-I'm staying with him although the I know he doesn't want to grow as a couple or live together or fully commit, he never even really wanted a long term relationship, we both want different things
- I feel like a burden when I try talk or communicate with him, he never supports but instead critics and makes me feel a little more alone.
- I don't know the list could go on but I am feeling rather upset
What are your guys experience with a partner, what were some red flags you noticed? What is considered normal feelings in a relationship? And should I stay or leave . All I want is love, happiness and communication, and I feel like he is losing interest in me and isn't happy, and it's upsetting... | me [20F] and SO [23M] are in a rocky part in our relationship, constant nitpicking, arguing, feeling like a burden? Advice from reddit appreciated !!! |
t3_11xlig | AskReddit | Today I got fired and reddit was down for maintenance when I got home. Reddit, what are some of your "worst coincidences?" | Today was an especially "nasty coincidence" day. First, I went to work like normal, only to be 3 minutes away, and get a text from the boss to come in at 9, instead of 8. With no other options, I just sat in my car to wait for the inevitable monday. Then, after the first job (window washer here) our client complained directly to the owner about our sub-par performance (not really, just a picky client.) On lunch, it was decided that we'd just go to 7-11, which I don't really consider lunch anyways, but upon leaving, the clerk accused me of stealing what I'd bought 3 minutes prior. What? We stopped at a hardware store to get some stuff, I stayed in the truck to smoke a cigarette, and was informed by multiple people that I'd done a terrible job parking, even though I wasn't the one who had been behind the wheel. We finally got back to the shop late, go to punch out and my time card isn't there. I went to the office to see what's up, greeted by my boss who pretty much says "Oh that's weird" and then steps outside with me and tells me he's letting me go, like a champ. On top of that, the place I've been intent upon moving into couldn't let me check out the room I was going to hopefully move into today, and then I finally found out reddit was doing maintenance. | This has been the worst day ever, and filled with the most terrible string of coincidences I've encountered in awhile. |
t3_1j3gj2 | dogs | Which Dog? Shiba or Mini Ausky? | Hey guys, I am looking into buying a dog. According to my landlord it needs to be under 35lbs, but he is a very cool guy so if it is 40 or 45lbs I am sure he wouldn't mind. I have always wanted a Shiba Inu, but I have been having a hell of time finding any that are avalaible. I have found person with a few for sale, but they are a little older (3 months). Is that too old? I am not a professional dog trainer and do not expect my dog to be perfect, but just want a fun dog to come home to.
Also have found Mini Auskys. These are about 10 weeks old. The dad was a toy husky (klee kai) and the mom was a mini Australian shepherd. I have never really heard of these kind of dogs, but dang are they cute. Is there anything I should worry about for these.
If you don't agree with either of these choice, i am interested in a medium size dog. I like huskies and akitas, but obvioulsy they are just too big and i hear the shedding hair is unbearable. Any ideas? | 3 month old shiba inu or mini Australian shepherd/ toy husky mix that are 10 weeks old? thoughts? opinions? What other breeds do you recommend? |
t3_3f917r | relationships | My[17M] girlfriend[18F] of three years are in a very unhealthy relationship. I need advice. | So my girlfriend has lied to me about some stuff for quite a long time and I found out, now I can't trust her at all.
Not long after I started opening up to her a little more as I know that was one of our problems and she also requested I work on it. She then accused me of guilt tripping her about the stuff she lied about and said I was emotionally abusing her. I've talked with some people about it and they all say she's guilt tripping and basically emotionally abusing me by making me bottle up any problems I have that concern her in any way whatsoever (even ones completely irrelevant to the lying). They're also sure that she's probably still lying and hiding things from me ( I had suspicions and asked for their input).
So there's trust issues on my part, lying and emotional abuse on her part and I know that it's extremely unhealthy but I can't bring myself to end things as of I'm still in love with her despite the pain the relationship causes me. I really need advice Reddit... | I have trust issues and my girlfriend lies and hides things from me (possibly emotionally abuses me?) but I can't end things because I'm still madly in love with her.. |
t3_23xop6 | relationships | How do I (f24) break up with my long term best friend? (M23)? | Hiya reddit!
I (f24) have decided that my friendship with my best friend of eleven years (m23) has to come to a close. It's not like something massive has happened that has made me realise that it's no longer the best option for us to be in eachothers lives anymore, it's that over the last year we have grown further and further apart. He leads an extremely busy and commitment filled life where as I tend to have a more relaxed life. His commitments and my relaxed attitude have led us to lead in different directions.
The last time we spoke was almost two weeks ago. We were supposed to have dinner together but because he has so many things going on, he kept rescheduling and it got to the point where I told him Id see him another night because I couldn't see us getting in a good catch up that night.
I think the feeling is mutual, that we both know that the friendship we used to have is no longer there, and we both aren't really willing to try to mend it.
My questions for you reddit are ;
Do we need to have a conversation about this? do we need to sit down and have the discussion so that we both know where we lie in each others lives?
I'm pretty close to his family, as he is with mine. Do you think it's better for me to discontinue a relationship with them as well? I know his parents would still talk to me about him, and I'm not entirely sure I'd want to hear it.
Thanks in advance reddit! | have decided my friendship with best friend in coming to a close after 11 years. Do we need to discuss this or do we just ride down our seperate paths of life!? |
t3_2qre7d | relationships | My (32/f) husband (33/m) is upset because I won't take care of him when he's "sick" | I don't like drinking at all. I grew up with alcoholic parents and grandparents and it was absolute hell, so alcohol has affected my life in lots of negative ways and I don't like being around drunk people and I don't like alcohol and drinking in the house.
My husband knows all of this and is okay with just drinking outside of the house with friends or something and I'm okay with that. The part I'm not okay with, is my husband coming home drunk and puking all over the place then bitching and moaning and wanting me to take care of him and nurse his hangover. When he says that I don't take care of him when he's sick, that's what he means.
If he was genuinely sick from an illness or something that he couldn't control, then I would gladly nurse him back to health and I've done it before and will continue to, but I won't wait hand and foot on or coddle and clean up the vomit of a grown ass man who can't hold his liquor and doesn't know his limit.
He feels that being actually sick (flu, stomach bug, migraines, etc) is basically the same kind of sick as drunk sick and that he should be able to come home after drinking and have things to make him feel better and a warm cozy bed with me in it (he sleeps in the basement when he comes home drunk) ready to be his little maid. According to him, I'm being selfish and not fulfilling my "duties as a wife" and that I basically owe him because he doesn't drink often and doesn't drink in the house.
I feel like he's being whiney and inconsiderate being that he knows my feelings about being around drunk people and for pretty much calling me a bad wife for it.
I don't think this is divorce worthy or anything but it's definitely eye opening and irritating. | Husband thinks that he should be able to come home drunk and have me take care of him and I refuse to do that and think he's inconsiderate for thinking that I should. |
t3_gtjxz | AskReddit | What is a profession that does not use hands at all? I've got hand tendinitis and I have to find a new handless career. | Im in my mid 20s, and a few years ago I started a business and overworked my hands. This lead to me having tendinitis.
I rested for a few months and got back into working with my hands (typing) but alas it has come back and I think I should just stop having false hope that I can keep working in the line of work that involves typing all day every.
Im also going to try voice recognition systems like blind people use, but I cant say that I feel comfortable relying on these to carry me through my career-Id prefer to just switch careers and not have to type a lot period.
What do you guys think I should do with my career? | I have tendinitis and I cant rely on my hands anymore for work. Needing ideas for what to do with my time. |
t3_16t1ms | relationship_advice | 19/f I've had a thing for this guy for three years now. Fuck I'm drunk now and I need to know if anything is still possible with him. | He just drove me home. He's one of my best friends. 3 years ago, during our junior year of high school he told me he has had a crush on me since he met me at the beginning of high school. I'm fucking stupid and was afraid of a relationship and eventually turned him down, probably broke his heart, and then lost one of the best friendships ive ever had. i know he probably doesnt feel the same way about me anymore, heck we go to different colleges. but we connect so much. this summer we went camping and when everyone went to sleep we stayed up talking until the sun came up again. just about stuff and it was so great. and whenever i think of things like that i know we'd be great for eachother but i dont want to once again ruin our friendship that took a year to rebuild after i fucked things up. ive always cared deeply about him. we're so alike, we have the same major in college and are just so goddamn similar in a lot of ways. what the fuck should i doooooooooooooo. i think about it all the time but i just cant get it off my mind right now and its killin me | i fucked everything up 3-4 years ago when we were close and now i dont know if it will ever wokrr |
t3_1xohde | relationships | I [24 M] think my crush [22 F] likes me, but she still has feelings for her ex. I've never had a gf, and idk if this is smart to get into, and it feels weird. | Let's call her Sarah. I've liked her for a few weeks. She's been single for ~2 months (a long time for her), and I think she's been interested in me most of that time. (Saying things like "I really want to date someone like you", "We're practically dating", and lots of physical compliments.)
I thought Sarah was over her ex, but she told me this week that she still feelings for her (she was dating another woman). She said she didn't want to feel that way though.
I can see how that's reasonable, but her ex was horrible! She treated Sarah like an object, constantly harrassed her after the breakup, and we had to call the police on her a few weeks ago!
One of my friends (who doesn't know Sarah) said that Sarah sounded like she was seeking attention and validation wherever she could get it. That kinda makes sense, but she's also incredibly sweet, and a great person, and she's had so many bad things happen to her. I'm seeing her weakest moments, and she's trying hard to work on this stuff.
I'm about to fall for her really hard. I really want to, but I don't have much experience with women in general, and especially not relationships. I have no idea if this is a warning sign or just something that happens.
Should I talk to her about it? | My crush still has feelings for her terrible ex. I still like her, but this worries and bothers me. Should I talk to her about it? |
t3_48850o | tifu | TIFU — actually an hour ago — by making fun of one of our company's recently deceased founder / CEOs... | Ok fuck, I'm still reeling from the cringiness of this fuck-up.
Background, I work in advertising and I'm not really a big fan of the industry and lifestyle, I just happen to be good at what I do so what I do here is I just do the work.
So... fuck... I can't even type this properly.
Last week has been really bad and I've been spending a lot of time outside office because I have to attend a lot of post-production work (that's where post companies like The Mill assemble footage of a tv spot and put effects on it, grade it and whatnot). I only get communications in the office through email (which was locked due to not being in the office due to said reasons). We normally communicate on Slack and other group chats so it's faster.
Today I went to work and on the entrance of our office there's a "Requiem Mass for __________ ." and there's people outside so I asked who is _______ and why should I care? Why do we need a mass for that? I'm known in the office for being completely irreverent bordering on assholeness. So on a scale of 1 to Stroud, this has been super stroudly assholic.
People literally lit up and was like WTF dude???!! that's ______ our founder. WTF WTF WTF?? Everyone looked at me in disgust and I felt small for not knowing who this person is.
Everyone apparently was indebted to this person because their careers started with this person etc. They owe a lot to ______. Even the security guard was giving me furious looks.
I'm like: ah so now I know what the _ in our company name is for. | Company founder died, didn't know who the founder was, didn't care, showed up at work and made fun of requiem mass. |
t3_2v02bo | tifu | TIFU By laughing whilst kissing my girlfriend, ultimately leading me to blow snot all over her face. | This didn't happen today, it actually happened a few years ago whilst I was in Year 11 (UK here). I'd recently started dating a girl and she was very shy, had a lot of problems as a child but I was there to support her and it's definitely worth it. She was the kind that didn't really talk to me during lessons and in person but would always text me outside of school.
A bit of back story to the situation, I have this friend who is very 'random' (not the kind of HUUR HUUR SO RANDUM XDDDDD!!11) But the kind that does outrageous shit and nobody ever expects it. He got into a lot of trouble doing this kind of stuff and didn't even finish the year because he was excluded before the year had even ended.
Anyway, there I was during the lunchbreak with my girlfriend and I had a terrible cold. I was constantly sniffling and sneezing and I managed to hold off from any disasters until this event. Me and my girlfriend were mid kiss and I can't remember exactly what my friend had said but I heard him say something whilst he was walking past me, I wish I could remember because I found it hilarious and couldn't contain my laughter. As I was midway through kissing I couldn't laugh, this meant that I had blown my nose out of its contents which ultimately ended up all over my girlfriends face.
I apologized profusely and was extremely embarrassed, Luckily for me she wasn't too grossed out and we still laugh about it 4 years on. | Kissing girlfriend whilst having a cold, friend said something hilarious mid kiss and I blew the contents of my nose on her face. |
t3_ezd68 | AskReddit | Hydrogen Power Generation Questions | This Christmas I got some [solar panels] (yay!) from my father, and I was thinking of things I could do with them besides charge my laptop (still cool, but I want MORE!). I was thinking of trying to make a hydrogen generator so that way I could store my solar energy in gas form so that when the sun goes down I can keep my solar party going. I was trying to find some materials on the internet to let me do this, but my google-fu has failed me :( I know this can be dangerous, and there are a lot of morons on youtube who are keeping both the H2 and the O2 in the same container * smacks forehead *. The devices they are using for the electrolysis process seem to work fairly well, but none of them are separating the gases * angry face *. I am very frustrated, 6hrs of searching has turned up nothing more than a bunch of people trying to tell me that they can hook up their electrolyzers to their cars and get better gas mileage :/
Links to some resources would be great, I know the basic idea of electrolysis but I need the specifics (formulas, plans etc.). I think this would make a really fun thing to do when I have some off time.
If someone knows a better subreddit for this question please let me know.
Please and thank you. | Do you know some good places on the net for info/plans/etc. about H2O electrolysis? |
t3_2d03q7 | relationship_advice | Me [21F] unsure how to help boyfriend [20M] of almost 5 years. | Long story short, my boyfriend has seemed distant and upset lately, and I'm almost positive it's due to stresses he's been dealing with recently. Ex: pressure from parents, college, what degree to pursue, etc.
He's also relatively secretive about the things that bother him and don't like putting them out in the open or talking about them with me. He has been seeing a school counselor but says it doesn't help much.
I've tried doing everything I can think of to try to help, from being supportive and trying to talk things out with him to doing little things around the house or for him to try to brighten his day but nothing seems to be working.
Is there anything else that I could potentially do to try to make him even the slightest bit happier and less stressed out? | Boyfriend is stressed/upset about life and I need to find ways to help him get through it or to make him feel a little bit more relieved. |
t3_2yusrv | relationships | I [18/M] like her [20/F], but don't stand a chance and have got a lot to lose. | Alrighty then. It has been an year since I first find out that cute little girl from college existed. It has been some 6 months since I learned that she was extremely sweet. It has been too long. I need to do something by next week.
I have two choices that would really mean something:
- Asking her out straight away.
- Asking for her best friend to "ship" us (she will, that's for sure).
----
So, what's the catch? Well, I look awful (gosh, I'm extremely skinny and my face is scattered by acne) and I'm not that interesting. She doesn't shows any indications of interest (though there's nothing to support the claim that she finds me a horrible person, far from it actually).
I feel (and have been advised) that escalating flirting is a good idea. However, I have no idea on how to do it, I've got no sex appeal whatsoever and it would just look terrible. It would actually diminish my chances.
And she's a part of a lovely group of friends (~10 people, depending on how you count) that is the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't want to ruin it for myself and for the others.
What should I fucking do? Pull all the efforts (it would be painful cause I see her every single week - every single day starting next semester), ask her friend or ask her out? | Like girl, odds are utterly against me, doing something might hurt me, the girl and a group of friends that I care about a lot. |
t3_14w0av | tifu | TIFU by driving over two dogs on my way home. | The roads were somewhat snowy on that highway. As I was rounding a corner going about 60 mph, I immediately saw a dog standing in the road. Keep in mind that this was at night, and it was very dark. Once I saw the dog I only had seconds to react, so I tried to swerve to the right, but the dog ended up walking right into me. Lo and behold, there was another dog standing right behind that one, so I ended up driving over both of these big dogs. They looked like border collies. Totally smashed up the front of my car, and I only have liability insurance, so I'm fucked for the time being. | Drove over two dogs, smashed up my car. Didn't go check to see that the dogs were totally dead either. |
t3_2baev5 | relationships | [26 M] awkward and confusing moment with my best friend [25 F] | She's been my best friend for the past 3 years. Although we did secretly like each other in college, about 6 years ago, our relationship is platonic.
I recently told her that I love her, obviously in the friend way. I say this to all my close friends and she knows it. She did not respond with I love you....no big deal. However, she said she does tell her friends that she loves them but she's not used to saying the love word to me. Then she said 'I don't know, with you it feels different'.
At this point it got kind of awkward, and I didn't keep that conversation going because of the awkwardness.
Does she think I'm coming on to her? Or maybe she likes me? I do not want things to be awkward between us. | Told her I love her (as a friend), she said it 'feels different' with me, now we are awkward. |
t3_14pmw2 | pettyrevenge | Unrealistic expectations for a project? Have fun trying to do it now. | I will try to keep this short. A little while back, I worked front desk at a beauty school. It was decent enough and I liked the students. The only problem was that the owners (a mother and son pair) were some of the biggest D-bags the world has ever seen. They were literally such shitty bosses that we had an excess of ten people, instructors and the like, quit within the first year that they opened their new location.
Well, me trying to be a good employee, took on a lot of extra work. I graded tests, I entered grades, checked people out, answered phones and did an excess of projects for these lazy fucks. One of which was designing a board to display the names of that years graduates. I completed the project with more than a moderate amout of difficulties, on budget and within time, but because the shipping cost so much (shipping from CA to FL) the owner's son wrote me up, quoting, "I know it isn't your fault but I am just so mad!".
It begins...
Cue almost a year later and I have decided I have had enough. Graduation time is rolling around again and the people I used still have the design on record and could easily replicate it. The little motherfucker son claimed I should go ahead and help them out because, "It'd be the right thing to do."
Instead, I deleted all the emails and the invoice receipts that I kept on file for these pricks. Take out the contact info and leave them to suffer with it a week before graduation. These fools are so technologically blocked they cannot even set up their own digital sign to run new ads. I managed to get this done with a few days of struggling and most places need a vector image of the names > : )
Did I go too far? Maybe. After all that time of being chastized, yelled at, contradicted and just generally beaten down, I feel it was a worthy revenge. | Bosses choose to treat me like shit even though I do most of their work for them, I leave them with one of the most complicated and ridiculous projects a week before it is due and no place to get started. |
t3_csxzh | dogs | My dog killed another dog. What do I do? | A neighbor and I were introducing our dogs together. This was the third time we were trying it. He had a 4-year-old pug, I have a 1-year-old Catahoula/Boxer. We were at the park after I had walked my dog to tire her out some bit. They looked to be getting along so I asked if it was OK to take my dog off the leash. The owner of the pug said yes so I dropped the leash. They played for a little bit, mine being the more active of two was getting pretty excited, but both were wagging their tails. Then my dog comes sprinting down playfully at the pug, I notice it and try to get in the way but I was too slow, slams into the pug, and thats pretty much game over there.
This is where it gets worse: We are both renting the same premises - the pugs owners rent the house while I rent the basement apartment. I had also just moved two weeks ago, they had been there for 3 years.
I know my dog isn't vicious at all. I have never heard her bark at another dog or human. So I don't even want to think about putting her down. But I also don't know what to do with myself. The first thing that comes to mind is give her back to SPCA. However, living at my current residence still puts me in the most awkward of positions possible.
This happened last night so I haven't talked to the family since the incident but will be soon.
I feel so guilty and terrible about this and can't stop thinking about what went down. I can't even imagine what the family is going through at the moment.
**EDIT1:** I called the owner but there was no response so I left a message. | I just moved to a new neighborhood. My dog was playing with another dog, collided into it, and the other dog died. The owner of the dog lives at the same address as me. |
t3_2mhvzy | relationships | Told my bf [25M] to delete my [21F] number mid argument and now he needs space to re evaluate our relationship, shocked by its fragility - overreaction or no? | Hi guys!
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year now. Very rarely do we argue but two weeks ago, we had a massive massive argument (probably made worse as it was that time for me) but basically I didnt like the way he was talking to me. Anyway it escalated as in anger, I told him to delete my number etc because I'm definitely not going to be spoken to like that but eventually things calmed down and we sorted it all out.
So a few days later he said he needed space and time to focus on himself etc because he now feels insecure in our relationship (I've said it in three different arguments) but of we all say things we don't mean/want in arguments right? I apologised since over and over and promised not to do it again - there is nothing more I can physically do to try to make amends. He on the other hand says that every time I say it, he realises how fragile this whole thing is and no matter how much he loves me, it will never be enough...
So my question is, did I actually overstep a major red line and is it a forgivable offence mid argument or is he overreacting and instead, its forgivable? I don't know if its him being unforgiving/unreasonable or me who actually messed up so badly that this is "space" worthy...
If its space worthy, how much time/space is enough? Don't really want to sit here waiting on him to be "ready" enough to talk to me again and I fear that all the anticipation will lead to me resenting the situation... | told my bf to delete my number mid argument and now he needs space to re evaluate our relationship, shocked by its fragility - overreaction or no? |
t3_1e24ny | jobs | A PhD in Optics/Photonics - Entering the job market | A brief background: I am an Asian, currently about to finish a PhD in experimental physics from a highly reputed university in Europe. I also completed one of those 2-year master degrees with an Erasmus Mundus fellowship before this PhD where you get to study and travel in 3 countries. Prior to that, I worked for an American firm in my home country for a couple of years.
All this while, I was more concerned and motivated about research and education and I believe I did quite well with what I had to do, in terms of grades, research output, awards, publications etc. Previous graduates tell me that one must look for jobs starting from six months before graduation, though it is hard to do that as I am concentrating on writing the thesis at the same time. I have started to look for jobs, and I am faced with the following problems/issues. Any suggestions/pointers are welcome!
I would like to work for the industry in research and development and most of the jobs in my field of study are in EU or the US. How am I supposed to overcome the following issues?
1. For potential employers in the US, would they plainly refuse to look at my profile, because I am a resident of Europe and that I would require a visa just for attending an interview? (I ask this because I applied online to some jobs for which I thought I had a 100% match but only got cordial reject responses)
2. I am aware of the H1-B visa issues. How about if I offer to apply for an O-1 visa? Will that work for a PhD candidate from Europe?
3. For potential employers in Europe, though I am fluent in English and French, the requirement of each regional language (German, Dutch..) still appears to be a botheration. Any ideas to overcome this issue?
4. For a PhD with a 2-year industrial experience such as me, would it serve better to write to headhunters/talent recruitment agencies directly via LinkedIn for example?
I will update with my progress, as things unfold in the coming months. I know I have some time left. But it is hard to not be anxious. | Asian with a PhD from a reputed European school and 2 years of job experience starting job search. Looking for tips and ideas to deal with various issues. |
t3_9pmnl | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, I need your brilliant minds to help me get this kid to stop making me the butt of all his jokes. | I'm a Jr. in Highschool and just the other day I had to change my schedule around. Because of that change I was taken from a class with four friends and put into a class with only two people I know. The first day I walk into that class this fat kid (who I believe is a sophomore) starts making fun of me. He calls me gay and tells me I'm ugly, nothing that original. People never make fun of me. I'm generally well like, have a good number of friends, and play two sports on the varsity level. I'm not the best looking person but I wouldn't say I'm good looking. Basically, I just want to get this kid to shut the fuck up. What can I say or do or say to accomplish that task. | fat kid is making fun of me in a class where I have no friends need some comebacks to shut him the fuck up. |
t3_3yvefz | legaladvice | AZ- Fiances brother messaging me death threats. Available course of action? | Long story short my Fiances mother is very self destructive and has landed herself in a position where she's working with no place to stay.
She has her husband whom she is separated but not divorced from, and her 23 year old son (Male in question) and her daughter whom lives with me in my apartment all that live within an hour of each other, so are available to help.
She was evicted from this complex and my lease states that if I even allow someone who has been evicted on the property I can be evicted. For that and many other reasons, she's not allowed to come here. This has gathered up a shitstorm from all of the people who won't do anything for her either but think that I shouldn't be preventing her from staying here.
This has led her son to threaten to shoot me in the face if/when he sees me. I'm sick and tired of all this dramatic crap, and I'm considering pressing charges for the death threat and filing a restraining order. I've never had anything like this happen and I'm not really sure if there's any actual grounds on it since it was over an instant message on the gaming platform Steam, or what I need to do. Any advice would be helpful. I have access to lawyers through my insurance also. Sorry for the poor formatting and I hope this helps explain the situation effectively. | Fiances brother threatened to "shoot me in the face if he sees me" and I want to know if I have any actual legal possibilities that I can pursue. |
t3_2uetsa | tifu | TIFU by using humor at the wrong time | So I cut my head open, bleeding like a wrestler in the 90s,
I was in my home in a rural area, so visits are usually limited to immediate family, at least until today.
I couldn't believe as probably THE most beautiful girl walks into my house, I thought maybe I'm hallucinating because I hit my head pretty hard, but no she's real, she was riding with my aunt coming to check up on us.
They give me a ride to the hospital, she is tending to my wound while we chat the whole way there, we are in the same grade, she is new and wants to hang out after I get stitched up.
But this is where I fucked up.
We make it to the hospital and she asks me "how did you get that nasty cut anyways"
So I say "oh you know, that time of the month"
She no joke slapped me and pushed my head hard enough to bruise my forhead against the window
And called me "a gross immature piece of shit"
I waved her down afterwards, she just gave me this look like I shit myself and she was close enough to smell it | had a head injury that needed stitching, met the girl of my dreams, and told her I was bleeding because it was that time of the month. Physical and emotional cockblock |
t3_2cb163 | relationship_advice | [19/m] My SO[20/f] of 3 years had sex with my best friend shortly after break-up. | My best friend is an online one. We met over xbox live around 4 years ago and have been friends ever since. Finally he decides it's time to hang out in real life and makes a trip to Florida to see both me and my SO. She, being a gamer girl and always playing games with us, is also a very close friend of his. About a week before he gets down here they tell me they would like to do things with each other. (we have been broken up for around 3-4 months by this point) At first I try to keep it cool and tell them I am ok with it, because we are broken up, and she should be able to do whatever she wants right? (oh, man was that a mistake). A few days later I freak out about it and tell them not to go through with it because I obviously still have feelings for the girl and if my best friend fucks a girl I still love it would pretty much ruin both of the relationships.(but by then it was too late and they have already made up their minds) Well, eventually he got down here, they fucked, and went on their marry way. To them it was just a "Spur of the moment thing" and they were just living in the moment, but why would they do this to me knowing how I would feel afterward? Do they not care about my feelings at all? It has been about a month after all this has happened. Me and my friend don't talk anymore. The relationship with the girl was slowly growing better, till today, where we had a fight and now I feel as if she doesn't want to try to harvest even the friendship anymore. I still love her. Maybe I should just get over those feelings and move on... But I still want to try... I don't know why but I still do... After all she has put me through I still love her. Any advice on how you would handle this? | SO of 3 years breaks up, 3 months later she fucks my best friend, I still have feelings for her. |
t3_3ga15r | relationships | I [m26] bailed on my gorgeous date [f23] because of my insecurity | Okay so I hope some of you will talk some sense into me.
A couple of months ago I met this girl at an event we were both - separately - invited to. We didn't really talk there, but it was very crowded and everyone hung out with their own group. She just caught my eye.
A couple of weeks ago I suddenly saw her on FB, because she liked a post of a friend of mine (we have a couple of mutual friends, no one I talk to regularly though). I decided what the heck and sent her a friend request. Before I knew it, we were chatting on Facebook, over text, were Snapchatting etc. Sometimes every day, sometimes just a couple of times a week. She initiated quite regularly.
And then I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me. She said yes! So we made plans and our date was scheduled for last night, Friday. And I cancelled. I said I couldn't make it because I had to work and was tired. It was the lamest fucking excuse in fucking history. I bailed and I bailed pretty last minute. She asked if I wasn't interest in the date anymore, I said no I just suddenly can't make it. Since then she hasn't sent me anything back.
So why did I cancel? Because this girl is gorgeous, smart, sweet, hot, basically an amazing catch. And I am just too darn insecure to go on a date with someone like her. I'm afraid I can't offer anything but sex whilst she is so much better than that.
Is there anything I can do to fix this? Is this girl sitting at home hurt and thinking I don't like her? Or should I forget about girls altogether and fix some underlying issues? | bailed on a fantastic girl because I'm too insecure to go out with her. How the fuck do I fix this? |
t3_y2bx3 | dating_advice | Should I [m24] --once again-- initiate/suggest a plan for getting together with new girl [f23]? Or wait for her to suggest something? | We've seen each other 4 times over the last month, 2 trips off to NY and Boston ea., (I live in CT, so it's not a bad drive, and we both have a habit of escape) and 2 dates of the movie and make-out sort.
The girl admitted when we first started she's got a messy love life atm, what with an ex or two trying to clamber back into her life. She's seems pretty unsure about all that, but she's also distracted. I've told her I don't want to be an extra problem in her life, but that, hey, I think I like you. She says she likes me too, and the date we had the other night was pretty amazing.
BUT. I don't want to always be the one pestering her if she's thinking about other dudes. OR, maybe I should keep at rather than let these ex's win her back? She's invited me over there once (couldn't make it) but she hasn't recently really. | Starting with new girl who may be distracted by ex's. Keep contact and cool? Or wait for her to come to you? |
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