id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_pm3co | dating_advice | Haven't been single in a while.. Need some advice on how to go about some things. | So I recently broke up with my GF of 2.5 years and moved 4 hours away. I haven't been single though for 7 years now and I'm afraid my flirting skills have gone to shit.
I'm 23 now and looking for advice on how to talk to a specific girl. Here's the story. I work at a tattoo shop as a tattooer, her and her friend came in because her friend wanted a tattoo. Another guy at the shop ended up tattooing her friend.
I talked to this girl for a little bit, but it was mostly just small talk, about a new burger place in town. And they ended up leaving, I didn't want to ask for her number at the shop as I think it would be unprofessional, and the lead artist would probably be pissed.
After they left we noticed that they had left a drawing of a tattoo that her friend wanted to get. We called the number but got no answer. This girl then "liked" our page on facebook, so I added her as a friend.
I had planned on sending her a message on facebook telling her that her friend had left the drawing there as well as shooting her my number if she was interested. Unfortunately, her friend came in yesterday and picked up the drawing, and now I'm at a loss whether I should still send her a message, and If so, what should I say? I'm pretty rusty with talking to girls so any advice would help.
Also, I do not know whether she is with some one or not right now, and don't want to seem like too much of a creep. | Do you think it's lame to contact a girl I've seen IRL once on facebook? I don't have any other means to contact her. And what should I say? Trying not to be a huge creep. Thanks! |
t3_25mdmb | relationships | Me [19F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 8 months, mother doesn't want to meet him. | I have kept my relationship of 8 months private until now, I told my mother that I would like for her to meet my boyfriend, she was upset that I had kept it a secret for so long and was lieing to her and that she was hurt that I didn't trust her.
I kept my relationship a secret for so long because in the past I find she gets really nosey and constantly criticizes the men I date, she is very old fashioned and she has a different perception of relationships than I do which at times I find conflicting.
She refuses to attempt to see things from my perspective and respect my privacy, I understand why she is pissed off but I feel like she's going to spite our relationship and make it hard for us. | mother is angry I kept my relationship a secret for so long and now is being spiteful and doesn't want to meet him. |
t3_17znje | AskReddit | Why is Paypal bullying Indiegogo campaigns? | I just recieved this email from this completed indiegogo campaign:
"A brief update from BRIGHT. We have recently visited factories in Thailand with our German partner on technology and assembly. Things are looking good, but I am a bit frustrated with PayPal, the payment service provider for Indiegogo. They have limited our access to the funds you all have contributed with, demanding that we can prove that we are in production before the funds can be released. That was a rather unexpected Catch 22 clause from PayPal, never communicated earlier. Feel free to share this experience with other crowdfunders. On our side we are raising new funds through investors in order to get going. If you know an Impact investor with interest in both financial and social return on investment, let me know! Your lights will shine. Soon.
Kristian"
This is maybe the 3rd or 4th time I've heard of this, and I've had at least two reports of paypal suddenly limiting or stopping funder acceptance on active campains! | they will stop you raising as much money as possible, and then refuse to give you it afterwards when you need it. Why are paypal trying to kill crowdsourcing? |
t3_3paq59 | relationships | I [20/M] am meeting up with a girl [20/F] from OKC this week, and I'm not sure what to talk to her about since we've been texting so much. | We started messaging each other a couple days ago, and have been texting throughout the entire day. With midterms this upcoming week, the earliest we can meet up is Thursday.
I already know so much about her, and I'm afraid I won't have anything to say if we continue talking this much before we meet up.
This is the first date I'm genuinely excited about after my first serious relationship ended this summer. We're going to the mall to grab lunch and check out a store we both like, and plan to explore the employee tunnels after that.
I'm really excited to meet her in person since she doesn't have any social media channels or pictures other than her main OKC pic, but I hope I haven't ran out of things we can learn about each other. | I've been texting a girl from OKC for a few days now, and I'm afraid I'll run out of things to talk to her about when we meet at the end of the week. |
t3_tuo8z | relationships | Girlfriend just tried to convince me to get a purity ring right after having sex!?!? | Okay so this is the first time I've ever posted anything on here. I had another account for a couple months but the username was... well my name. I know dumb, but whatever.
I am 22 and she is 19 and we have been together for almost a year and a half.
So tonight was the last night my girlfriend and I will spend together for all summer and for possibly longer. In the middle of a very intense sex session she stops and confesses she doesn't like sex and goes off about how she fakes it for me and blah blah blah. We did have some alcohol in our systems, but not drunk.
Then she decides she wants a damn purity ring to make herself feel better. I go on telling her that's for 12 y/o girls obsessed with Jonas Brothers and other (very convincing) reasons to not get one.
Personally I think it is the birth control she has been on for the past 3 months on that has been polluting the relationship with unwanted emotional baggage that also effects her sex drive and enjoyment of sex. I continually tell her to get it removed and she won't because she doesn't want a period for a year (she is on the rod), but she's had her period for the past 3 months straight!
I need some more reasons for her to get this thing removed. I am not entirely sure that it is the BC, but I do know the emotions have been flaring up since she has had it. Do you guys think the loss of sex drive and enjoyment could be from birth control? I really just want all this drama to stop and enjoy the relationship. | Girlfriend stops sex and tries to convince me to get a purity ring since sex doesn't feel good. I blame the birth control and alcohol. |
t3_1esx63 | AskReddit | Has anyone taken something of yours and sold/gave it away without your permission? | My family recently had a yard sale, which I put a fair bit of stuff into. Now, for the whole weekend, I was at my uncle's hunting cabin, nowhere near my house, which was about a 2 hour drive away. I got together a whole bunch of books, games, and other decent stuff to sell. I told my step mother (if you've seen some of my other posts, you would have seen how much of a bitch she is) that there were some things I wanted to sell, but couldnt, because I didnt have all the pieces for them. She decided to go into my room after I left, take a box that held my gameboy advance SP and about 20 games, then sell it, disregarding the fact that I said I wasn't selling it. She must have screwed me out of some money because when I got home, all that was sold was the box with the gameboy and games, then other miscellaneous games and books. All I got out of the yard sale was $55 (Canadian dollars.) She says all the stuff she didn't sell she "packed away," and to "not go digging through stuff to find it." Since she won't let me see how much of my own stuff she sold, I have no idea how much money I lost. And for the record, I didn't get to choose the prices at which she sold my stuff at. Eg: $20 video games sold for *maybe* $1-2. | Step mom takes stuff from my room and sells it when I'm not there, while also screwing me out of the money I deserve. |
t3_2nvpgg | relationships | My (23M) grandma (60?F) was MIA from my life for 18 years and now wants to be a major part of my life. | I need some advice because I don't know what to do. My dad's mom hasn't been there for me my entire life. She never came to any school activities or sporting events. At a young age, I accepted the fact that I basically had only 1 set of grandparents (my mom's parents) and they were the best! They did everything for my brothers and I and I love them so much for it. On the other hand, my dad's mom and step dad wouldn't drive the 5 miles to come see us unless they were already on their way in that direction.
I'm not going to sugar coat it at all, my dad's mom has some lung disease and she has only a few months to years left. She has been calling my family and demanding that we hang out with her on holidays and requesting that my wife and I drive the hour+ to her house from mine because "she misses me". Now when I was younger, her neglegence wasn't just "I can't make it, I'm busy" it was more of a "I don't feel like going to your school concert," "I don't care to go to your football game."
She would even turn down my dad driving to get her and bring her to an event. My question is, am I a terrible person because I don't care at all to see her? | My grandma wants to be back in my life now that she is sick and wants me to drop everything and come ask her how she's doing and I will not fake that I want to be there. Advice? |
t3_1uwlk3 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Mom [49 F] My Mom is trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend and trying to get me with a woman. | So I came out to my mom yesterday, and she was shocked and crying the whole time. I told her for the first time I was happy that I found out who I was and that I now know what I am. But she is not.
She said she wasn't thrilled. She said she was disappointed and that "this isn't the life she wanted for me."
She said I was too young to make this choice, even though it wasn't a choice.
She told me I need to get more experience with girls. To have sex more with girls.
I was livid, I have a boyfriend, and I want to be with him.
She told me I need to break up with him and go date girls. I do not want to break up with him.
I need advice on what to say and how to stop this. | Came out to my mom, wants me to break up with my boyfriend and start dating girls and having sex, even though I can't. |
t3_134xdy | relationships | I [M24] have serious jealousy issues with my GF[F20]. I'm driving myself crazy. Help!! | Background: I was in a very serious relationship for about 3 years, but was being cheated on for about the last 2. It was extremely dysfunctional and abusive and I should never have stayed as long as I did. I've developed some very intense insecurities and jealousy problems because of this. Flash forward: I've been with my girlfriend for 2 months. I've been open about my baggage and have been seeing a therapist once a week to try to get through my problems. My SO has been very supportive and understanding. There's been a few things that have been really hard for me like her ex's calling or texting, or the fact that she just left college and had a lot of one night stand, drunken sex adventures. It bothers me much more than it should. I know this. I know it's the past and it was before she ever met me, and I know that she's wanting to be with me and only me now. It just bothers me still.
Last night, I found out that she had had one of these drunken encounters only a couple of weeks before we started dating. A guy she says she deeply regrets sleeping with and says they were both just really drunk and it was a mistake. Ok. I get it. So why does this bother me so much??! I can't stop thinking about it. I'm crazy jealous about something that happened before we ever dated!! I can't stop thinking about some other guy having sex with her and touching her and being inside of her... It's driving me absolutely mad. I know it's in the past. I know she doesn't talk to him anymore. I know she's with me and only me now. I can't for the life of me figure out why I can't get this off of my mind. I feel sick about it and it makes me feel really grossed out and not attracted to her when I think about it. and I can't get it off my mind. How do I get over this? I know it's stupid. I know it's not even my business what she did before me. I just can't shake it... Does anyone have any clue how I can just get over this and feel how I felt before I found out??? | I'm really jealous. My GF had sex with someone 2 weeks before dating me. I know it's stupid but it's getting to me and I can't stop thinking about it. Help please. |
t3_y1223 | relationships | Boyfriend doesn't call should I be worried or is it normal? | Ok I know girls are notorious for being crazy about phone calls but I just want to make sure on this one. Me (20f) and my boyfriend (23m) have been on and off for about a year after I met him in college.
I am currently at home now so we are apart. Because we're far away from each other and have been for about 3 months since we last saw each other and also he has been going through a lot depression lately I sort of expect a phone call every night just to talk and make sure everything is fine.
When he fails to do this I find myself getting upset and thinking the worst, like automatically assuming that he is in deep despair or something when really his phone is on silent or something dumb like that. Am I just over reacting and need to chill out? | ! when my boyfriend doesn't call when he's supposed to I end up thinking the worst every single time. Should I just learn how to calm down? |
t3_14qgn0 | relationship_advice | [31/f] need sisterly advice for dealing with younger half sister [19/f] | Backstory - My Dad left us (my mom and I) when I was a wee babe (I'm all good, my Mom is great) and later on had another daughter. We did not grow up together - I was actually not aware of her existence until I was 21. I've kept in touch with my Dad, mostly for her sake. As such she reaches out to me mostly with how crappy my Dad is. The majority of it is rants like this "its not fair" "he treats me like a kid" "he always compares me to you."
Current issue at hand - my sister is in college (sophomore) and was recently caught stealing from a Wal*Mart with her friends. Why? Because she has stupid friends and she can be stupid too (aren't we all sometimes?) Anywho, my Dad was all sorts of mad and essentially she is grounded for break and must stay at my Aunts place(stay at home mom). I get a wall of text about this and how its unfair and how he's terrible and how she can't talk to him and how he treats her like a child, blah blah blah. And I am completely at a lost of how to respond. From my adult side of things, she is a child, she is acting childish. My Dad has every right to be mad and she needs to suck it up and deal with the consequences. Everything that comes out of her mouth just sounds drama filled. I'm having a hard time relating and giving good advice without sounding uncompassionate. Also, I have no idea how to be "sisterly." I grew up an only child, my strengths are not here. So all those out there with younger siblings, how would you respond to this event? | my sister got caught stealing my dad is pissed she is pissed (because he is pissed at her) and I don't know how to talk to her. |
t3_4qcbzz | relationships | Me [15 M] with my parents [50s M/F]: I suffer from anxiety, and they keep telling me to "Knock it off" when I am acting stressed. Is it fair for them to expect this? | I have suffered with stress and anxiety for as long as I can remember, and my parents have ignored it since the beginning. They always thought I was just a nervous kid, or that I was a perfectionist. They always told me to "Knock it off" whenever I began to hyperventilate or cry because of school, sports, or whatever else was going on in my life.
Recently, they have begun to understand what I am going through, and seem to be more understanding towards me, but they still tell me to "Stop worrying" or tell me that "Worrying about it won't help".
I know they are just trying to help, and I don't want to make things worse by lashing out at them, but I just feel so helpless. I feel like I should be able to control this, that I am just weak or broken and anyone else wouldn't have this problem, but no matter how much I tell myself this, nothing changes.
Who is right? Am I just overthinking things to the point of hysterics? Could I control it if I really tried, or is it okay to feel that this is beyond my control? | Struggle with anxiety, parents keep making it worse by telling me to just calm down or stop worrying about it. How should I respond? What can I do? |
t3_2dhysb | relationships | Me [22 M] with my crush [22 F] long distance but she doesn't respond sometimes. | Before you say she is not interested or I'm being a creep this is a different scenario.
So I like this girl who lives in another state and when we talk we can talk for hours online. However I know she is busy constantly so she may not reply at times.
However to keep the conversation I have to keep messaging her at times or else if she reads it when she is busy, she will not reply at all later.
I was told she does this to everyone so it's not just me. I just feel like I would be a bother if I keep messaging her.
Are any of you guys like this or know how to deal with te situation?
I know I say things that don't require one word answers and is engaging but it's just when she's busy she will not reply to that conversation in the future. | I like a busy girl but sometimes she will read the messages and not reply to that conversation so I have I start a new one. What can I do? |
t3_mm8mw | AskReddit | Hey, pirates: What of the content creators? | To those who pirate content, whether it be games, music, movies, or books, how do you justify depriving the creator of revenue? I know many will say that they pirate because of DRM, or to stick it to the man, or because corporations/ the RIAA/ the MPAA are unjust...
But put yourself in the shoes of the creator, who worked hard to produce something you enjoy, and receives nothing in return. Are they repaid by the intangible gratification in knowing that someone is enjoying what they made? Since the world's economy is essentially free market capitalism, this hypothetical content creator needs to pay for their basic necessities, and is trying to do so through entertainment. Since we value entertainment (otherwise, why would you make the effort to download and consume it at all?) do we not owe them something? I want to make clear I am not calling content piracy stealing. You do not deprive the original owner of the content, obviously, but of monetary compensation that they are due.
I'm expecting some might tell me that they are hurting the corporations more. Maybe. But you still ultimately deprive an artist their due in royalties or gross. For example, a small independent game studio, especially with modern distribution methods, quite directly bears the burden of losses.
I also expect many will tell me that plenty of artists support piracy. Sure, massively successful ones like Trent Reznor will speak in favor of file sharing and Radiohead will give away their latest album away or for elective donations. But they have financial security that a smaller band lacks.
*Note: I am aware of the "bands make money on concerts, not music sale" argument which is itself a partial truth and doesn't help anyone who has worked on a film, video game, or book.
As I've been reflecting on this, as the "little guy" producing art or entertainment, the only reason I can imagine you would want your work freely shared or pirated is for exposure, which is really a gamble on a loyal fan base and a potential harvest on the success of future work. | I was hoping to spur some discussion on how creators retain their rights and get their due in the internet era, and not just from large companies but from the anonymous pirate. |
t3_1s1bmr | relationships | Having a hard time getting into dating. Am I too used to being in a relationship? [23F] | So, I've basically been in long-term relationships since I was 14. I dated my high school sweetheart for 4 years. Dated a guy from the time I was 18 until I was 21. Then dated another guy from the time I was 21 until about 2 months ago. This is the first time I've truly been "single", and I actually am enjoying it! I'm loving being able to work on myself, focus on what I want, and not have to worry about anyone else. It's lovely.
Now onto the dating thing. I'm sort of seeing a guy I know, VERY casually. We've gone out for drinks a couple times, gone out with mutual friends, and gone to lunch once. We text a lot and are making plans together often. He's very attractive, nice, educated, and genuine. But for some reason, I'm having a hard time feeling that "spark". Maybe it's because I don't know him very well yet. But I can't help but think it's actually because of something to do with me.
Since I was 18 years old, I've only dated 2 men. TWO! And they were both very serious, long-term relationships. For so long I have seen other guys as strictly platonic. Maybe it's because I'm newly single, but why am I not feeling that "butterflies in my stomach" feeling for other men? Is this going to last forever? I hope that someday I can feel giddy over a guy again.
I don't know what my question is. I guess I'm looking for input into my situation. Also, should I keep going out with this guy casually and just see where it goes? I do enjoy hanging out with him. Thanks for reading! | I've been in serious relationships for so long that I'm having a hard time getting feelings for anyone else. Dating feels weird. Is this temporary? |
t3_3ggypw | relationships | How do I (21m) stay friends with best friend (18f) after she decided she no longer has romantic or sexual feelings for me? | Howdy. Me and my best friend recently(last night) stopped having a fwb relationship. The whole time I wanted something more and she didn't and that was always known. It wore on me till the point i was always moody. She ended it last night. She says she still wants to be friends as we are each other's best and closest friend. And part of me wants to stay friends too but I don't think I can based off of how i feel. I love her mire than i have ever have anyone else and have for a while. I don't want to hurt her by no longer being her friend (and her only friend at that) but I can't even stomach the idea of me seeing her with someone else. Am I being selfish? Should o try to be friends still despite the heartache? How? I feel like there is no right choice. | friend wanted to end fwb relationship. Not sure how to stop loving her and just be her friend. Need help. |
t3_4bj3ji | relationships | My boyfriend [22 M] of six months constantly compares me [22 F] to his ex [19 F] about how much better she is at loving him. Should I listen to him and put up with this and absorb his criticism? | Boyfriend loves hip hop. It's a very deep part of his culture and I don't quite understand it. He's constantly offended that I don't go out of my way to immerse myself in hip hop culture. And when I do so, I do superficially. I try, I do. It's not a reflexive habit of mine, but I do put effort into listening to the media that he likes. This time around he said that his ex girlfriend would go out of her way to save playlists of the songs they had listened to together, and that she constantly showed her love better than I have. Perhaps he's right. But is it okay for him to constantly bring up his ex? Is this something that people should put up with? Personally, I've compared him to my previous ex's once, only to prove the point that he's done so much more frequently than I. | Boyfriend compared me to ex saying that she was better at being a girlfriend. Maybe he's right. But does it make it okay for him to bring her up? |
t3_2xae0i | relationships | Not sure if crush [17 M] is way out of my league [16 F] | Hello, I am a 16-year-old junior. So, I met my crush through an extracurricular program, and he happens to live within the same school system as I. Most of the time, guys like me because I am Asian and small, and they don't actually like me as a person, but the guys I actually like never like me back. I am actually starting to lose my self confidence because of it. Guys don't take me seriously either because I look much younger than I do.
Some things I know: I know this guy prefers white girls, blond or brunette. Asians would be a bit of a stretch. He is also a senior, so I am afraid he will not consider me. Also, he is out of my league (popular, good looking, smart, male lead in school play). When my friend asked him about me, the guy responded that he loved me (as a friend). Does this mean I am friend-zoned? xD
How do I find the confidence to start talking to him privately (not surrounded by a group of friends)? | How do I get the confidence to get closer to a guy who's way out of my league? How do I make sure he's even interested in me? Thank you for reading! |
t3_uv3io | AskReddit | Empty Words | I get annoyed when people post the standard lines for every event.
A few times, my friends relatives passed away and people would write, SS <3 or Stay Strong, and this would happen like 15 times in a row. You'd think that after an experience like this you would take some of the time you pissed away on Facebook to write something meaningful on someone's status or picture.
On a less somber note, my birthday happened recently, and the hordes of messages saying, "Happy B Day" flatly poured in. I find that saying Happy Birthday on Facebook means nothing anymore because there is a reminder. People you haven't talked to in years suddenly have an interest in you, but not enough interest than to type 10 characters. What really means something to me are the long messages people type where they've put some thought in, or the people who actually come up to you or text you something other than the same meaningless message. In fact, it would mean more to me if someone just told me to have a great day, because it's not the same damn line.
To end it off, sometimes people post some status or picture on Facebook and even though it really doesn't mean much people write, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!11!!!" You can't possibly be that fucking excited over a dumb line of pixels. It grinds my gears that people are so eager to fall into the the pattern of drones typing bullshit. | Do you think SS or Happy B Day mean anything, or even any other iconic lines of text you see on the internet? Text means so much less to me than it used to. |
t3_3yyb9g | relationships | Me [25 M] with my unofficial girlfriend [24 F] of 1 year are smooth sailing but I'm going to be doing something that might break it all apart | Ok, me and April (obviously not her real name) have been seeing each other for a year and some months. Here's some background info:
April never wanted to be in a serious relationship with me (she thinks the grass is greener and will eventually find the man of her dreams) I actually do not mind this because I'm still technically single and the sexual chemistry between her and I is out of this world. It's sort of like an unspoken open-relationship but we agreed to tell each other if it's getting serious with someone else and/or confess other sexual encounters.
Anyhow, there has been various times where other girls have called my cellphone whilst being with April. She gets super upset and doesn't trust me but has forgiven me for those times. I also have a secret long distance relationship with a girl in Latin America that April knows about. I travel out to see this foreign beauty every once in a while (let's call her Maria). This January I'm taking a flight to go see Maria for a week and I will return on the day of April's birthday...
I don't want to lose April but if she finds out about my trip to see maria she'll probably cut all ties with me. Do I lie and tell her I'll be taking a trip to cuba with my buddies or do I tell her straight up what is going on? | I'm a selfish guy in an open relationship with a girl. I am trying to figure out if I lie to her or come clean with the truth (which will possibly end our relationship) |
t3_1qee2v | relationships | I [20F] keep finding pictures of naked girls saved on my boyfriends [20M] phone. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. We never fight about anything ever and we have never had any real relationship hurting problems until now.
A couple moths in to our relationship I found some porn saved on his phone. I confronted him calmly, told him I found it a little shitty because he has pictures of me, so I didn't see why he needed pictures of other girls. He apologized, said he wouldn't save them anymore etc.
A couple months later I found pictures again but this time it was like, normal looking girls from the "realgirls" subreddit. I was so upset, mostly because he had pictures of me. It started making me think that I just wasn't good enough. Can you see where this is going yet?
So this happened again and again and it was the same story over and over again and then last night it happened AGAIN. I didn't yell or scream at him, but I was livid. Again he apologized but I didn't even accept it this time. I don't believe him anymore.
Now I've never done anything to hurt him at all ever. I never went thru his phone to find the pictures specifically. I don't care that he watches porn, I care that he's saving these pictures of normal looking girls. It makes me feel extremely bad about myself, like I'm not good enough despite what he says.
I don't know what to do. This is the only problem that we've had so far and I think breaking up is too much. Do I become revengeful and do stuff that he hates and apologize but continue to do it anyway? I've talked to him so many times about it and it's like he just does not care at all. Advise? Opinion? | Found pictures of naked girls on BF's phone for the 5th time last night after he had promised the past 4 times not to do that anymore. What should I do, if anything? |
t3_1jztyi | relationships | How can I [35m] react & what to do when flat mate [27f] breaks promise and lets abusive separated husband [27m] in? [I am not in a relationship with flatmate] | Flatmate had left her husband after talking about it for about a year, and moved in with me to get away from (alleged) rape, theft, social control and a list of other abuses.
6 months later there have been lots of efforts by me and some others to help or just be there for her including late night drives and phone calls, all night chats and whatev, and trying to not judge her if she's getting high or cutting herself or getting laid. I just tried to make sure if she was going to do something and nobody could stop her that she would be safe/clean.
Over time this help got thrown back in my face more and more, and it got hard to be around her in the apartment, then I went home one day and heard her chatting with her husband. The access is up stairs and along a corridor so I could turn around and leave but tried to confront her about it later that day - see these texts for exactly what was said.
The last blanked out name is the landlord, who I asked to never let the husband in after flatmate said she couldn't ask. Too scared,shy,worn down ect. The "rule #1" mentioned is something that was really agreed before she moved in: if she moved in, he was never allowed in the apartment because if it was as bad as she said then I couldn't accept that as a part of helping her.
A week after these texts there has been no communication and I dont want to go home. I've been spending a lot of time staying with my SO to avoid it, and am close to just moving out but then I feel like she might be letting danger back into her life.
We share the lease until October. Flatmate has refused to involve the police and tells me I'm "not allowed" to talk to them or talk to her husband, family ect. about him or the things she ran away from. | Friend alleges rape and has evidence of theft & other abuses from husband, 6 months later she invites him into my (our) flat for a chat. |
t3_1ff399 | relationships | I [m20] drunkenly hooked up with a friend behind my person of interest [f20] | This will be short but here is the jist. I was drinking with some friends last night and got plastered. I was near passing out and a girl went down on me and I fingered her.
My significant other couldn't come. We've been talking on and off for a year almost. Never officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I want to date her but she said she needs to figure out personal things.
I think I love her and feel so awful about this but i feel of I tell her it will ruin everything between us and we were doing so great recently.
I don't know what to do. | I got drunk and hooked up with a girl behind the person who I am talking to and regret every second of it but don't know what to do because I don't want to ruin my relationship. |
t3_4q6e0i | relationship_advice | My ex wife's [25/F] daughter [6/F] is coming to visit, and I [27/M] don't know if I should see her | Background:
I met a girl who had a daughter from a previous relationship back in 2010, and we started dating, which eventually turned into a marriage in 2012. We then got divorced last year, June 2015, and she moved to the midwest, while I stayed and live on the west coast.
In a week her daughter is coming to visit my parents for 2 weeks this summer, and my parents were inquiring if I am going to make time to see her.
I am currently in a relationship now with a wonderful woman who I have been completely open and honest with about my past, and who does not think I should try to continue to be in my ex-wifes daughter's life, as even though I helped raise her through ages 2-5, I never adopted her, and she is not my biological child. And I completely understand that, as a person she has no obligation to want to be in my ex-wifes daughters life, and my current girlfriend does eventually want to start a family with me, which I am definitely on board for.
My question is; Should I see the little girl who still remembers me as her dad, or stop trying to keep up a lie to her and not go see her while she is visiting relatives? | Ex wife's daughter is visiting my parents after a year, should I visit her even though my current girlfriend does not want me to be in my ex wife's daughters life? |
t3_3qa8fk | relationships | Me [20/M] with my Professor [early-late 50sM], I scheduled a vacation 8 months in advance, turns out the week of my 5-day vacation is finals week. Help! | Hi Reddit, nice to see you again!
So, I scheduled a vacation with my gf about 8 months in advance. We're going out of town from Dec. 2nd, to Dec. 8th.
I also scheduled my fall classes and It showed on the college website that fall semester classes were over a week BEFORE I am due to take my vacation, come to find out that my vacation coincides directly with finals week.
I brought this matter up with my professor to see if we couldn't work something out earlier in the semester but he kind of brushed me off and said that the Dean doesn't want students taking the final exams earlier than scheduled because it could impact my grade negatively.
I NEED to come up with some sort of compromise to "make everybody happy" here so that I can go on my vacation (which the gf and I have been planning for a year and a half now, actually.) and keep things good between my professor and I. Help! | scheduled a vacation during finals week, I really really want to take the vacation and also pass my finals. How do I keep myself and my professor happy here? |
t3_hppqi | self | Just walked 40 minutes from a "screw" buddies house | Yea, I need a bit of rant.
Just walked home at 1am from someone who I was trying to create something with who looked at me and said we were just fucking.
She then texts me on the walk home saying how she faked everything between us, which is just funny. Seeing as...I could never finish with her because shes so...loose. I never told her this, and never honestly will. Every fight she called me the child but I rarely insulted her.
Oh and she punched me in the face so I pushed her out of the bed, got up and dressed then walked home. It's cool, my sister has already said if she touches me that's the end of it for her. | I don't just fuck woman, I try for something more, but half the time they're just whores anyway. |
t3_1brww8 | personalfinance | I was asked to hold onto some cash for a friend indefinitely. What is the smartest thing I can do with it? | A good friend of mine asked me to hold onto some money for him (~$2,000). He's an older guy, he just had a kid and I think he's freaking out a little. He told me that if anything should ever happen to him unexpectedly (heart attack, stroke, death, etc.) he needs someone he can trust to immediately contact his wife and give this cash to her. I was flattered that he would trust me with this and honored to help him.
What worries me is this: I have the cash put away in my home, but I don't own a safe. It's just sitting there and while it is out of the way and somewhat hidden, if ever there was a fire or a burglary it could easily be compromised. It also seems like such a waste. This money has some (albeit small) earning potential.
What is the wisest thing I could do with this money? I would like to invest it with my bank (I don't worry about losing some as I would happily make up the difference from my own funds). However, I don't want to get killed on taxes.
Any suggestions? | A friend gave me money in case he dies and his family needs immediate cash. How should I put it to good use? |
t3_2ctkq7 | Advice | My best friend dated my ex girlfriend, advice? | Background story:
So me and this girl dated, lets call her X, for 3 years throughout highschool and into my first 2 years of college. She went to college the year after I did and put stress on the relationship and all that kinda stuff. Anyway we get into a lot of arguments, took a break and she ended up breaking up with me after I told her we should try to work through it. I found out through my best friend, lets call him A, that X cheated on me with this guy who i already had problems with because they were too close in a touchy feely way. Was rough for about 2 weeks and I leaned on my friends to get me through it. I ended up meeting another girl and have been dating her for about a year.
Current:
So a mutual friend between A and I, will now be known as J, called me at midnight last night. It is his birthday so I figured he wanted to go out, but I had work the next morning so I played like i was sleeping. He called two more times and texted me and he told me it was important. So I answered and he told me to meet him in front of my house. So i did and he was telling me how him, A and a few other friends, including one visiting from Texas who we will call T were at a bar hanging out. He then proceeds to show me a picture of A with his face all cut up and im like wtf happened. J then told me that T punched A in the face. I thought that A said something to T that offeneded him and he punched him in drunken rage but it was actually because it came out in conversation that A was hooking up with X a little after a month that we broke up. J knew this as well and they both kept it secret this whole time.
Now I personally feel betrayed and hurt by it all because I treat these guys like family, and they both literally stabbed me in the back with that.
I just want some advice on what should I do from here and did he actually fuck up by hooking up with my ex gf of 3 years? | My best friend hooked up my ex gf of 3 years about a month after she broke up with me, advice? |
t3_1b2ahr | relationships | I [21M] Having Trouble Fully Committing to GF [20F] of 3 Years. | Hey Guys!
So I've been dating the most amazing girl I've ever met in my entire life. Ever since we met, she makes my days a thousand times better. She is always there to support me in my craziest endeavors, and she has become my best friend that I want to do everything with. We rarely fight, and the sex is great (even if it's a little less frequent than I prefer).
I really want to ask her to marry me and make plans for when we graduate Uni. Being with her for the rest of my life would make me the luckiest guy alive.
The problem is that I keep getting this nagging feeling in the back of my head that something's missing. I've spent some time thinking about it, and what I've come to realize is that I miss the unknown things in life. Whenever I was single and starting my University life, I felt alive and free. The excitement and nervousness that I dealt with each day was a great feeling, whether it be in class, at a party or chasing some cute girl. Now that we have been together long term, I really don't have that surprise in my life anymore. I know pretty much everything about her, and she does about myself too.
I'm scared that if I settle down that my life will cease to give me the excitement that I need to be happy. But, I also know that she is the greatest thing that will ever happen to me, and losing her would devastate me. Will I have to decide between excitement and the unknown or being content with what I have, or is there a way to have both? | In a great LTR but afraid that my life has lost all of it's excitement. What should I do to be happy? |
t3_3wxc3v | tifu | TIFU by setting my whole body on fire. | So this actually happened to my great uncle quite a while ago, but it is a great story and I thought you guys would like it.
So Frank was a dairy farmer, and every day he would go out at 4 in the morning to milk his cows. He had a milking machine so that he didn't have to do it by hand.
So this particular morning he went up to the bails with his kerosene lamp to see, and his fuel to fill up the milking machine. As he held the lamp in one hand and poured the petrol with the other he had a bit of an accident, as you can imagine.
His wife woke up to hear chilling screams and a huge vertical flame running around the yard. She managed to put the fire out and race him to the hospital, but not before he was scarred all over his body including losing his ears, most of his nose, and five fingers.
Here's the great part though. Just a week before the accident, a traveling minister passed through the town and had been telling Frank that he should get life insurance. Frank couldn't afford it, so the minister paid for Frank's first insurance premium.
Now being an illiterate farmer who can no longer work with his hands, you would think that there wouldn't be much in the way of jobs for Frank to do. In the end he made a killing from selling insurance, he would tell his story to all of the farmers in the area and they would join up straight away. | my great uncle set himself on fire and was severely burnt a week after getting life insurance. He then earnt a killing selling life insurance by telling his story. |
t3_1a6enj | relationships | Her name is Emily, and she may be my perfect match. | Preliminaries: I'm a 30 year old male living in a small town. She is a 27 year old living in a medium sized city. We have not known each other long, a month max.
Recently, I have come upon a woman so stunningly beautiful that it takes my breath away. We have a lot in common, but enjoy finding out what we don't. We are both very open minded and welcome new things. (We have explained this to each other.)
She recently got out of a relationship with a friend of mine, she seemed down in the dumps, so I started talking to her. You know, typical trying to cheer her up kinds of things. Normal conversation, getting her mind off of it, offering to hang out with her at various social events. I in no way intended to start to have feelings for her. She was a girl who was down, I'm a relatively nice person who went through a break up a few months ago, so I know how she is feeling. Now the friend, the one I referenced beforehand, I've known for about 3 or 4 years. We're friends in the sense that he knew some of the same people I knew when we first hung out. He's a pretty cool guy, and a good person.
My questions are, how do I breach the subject of wanting to date an ex of his, with whom he broke up? Simply stating that he didn't love her anymore. How early is too early? Is it something I should resent myself for feeling about her? This girl could possibly be the greatest thing that's happened to me in a long time. Is there any easy way out of this? | Girl is beautiful. She dated a friend of mine. I want to date her. Do I need his permission? |
t3_ene9x | AskReddit | Please help me help my friend. | My friend B recently had surgery to remove his second brain tumor (the first one was when he was 5, he's now 25). Luckily it wasn't cancerous, but the tumor was wrapped around his optical nerves and damage was caused and now he's considered legally blind. He can still see somewhat, but no peripheral vision, and it's blurry beyond 4 feet in front of him.
I've know B for 3 years now and he's always been a pretty positive person. That was up until the last couple of months. He always lived his life waiting for the tumor to come back, and just when he was thinking that this wasnt going to happen, BANG, blurry vision sends him to the doctor where they discover the tumor.
The thing is, he's not really getting too down about his situation, he's worried about his family. His mom and step dad recently separated and now his mom needs surgery to remove a hematoma (sp). His main concern is for his little sister though. He's worried she's not going to get the Christmas she deserves.
Now to the point. B is a huge hockey fan. He recently told me that he cant really watch hockey at home, just listen to it because his tv is too small. I've recently started a collection to get him a new bigger tv. It's not going to be anything crazy since they live in a small house. Just bigger than the one they currently own (19" or 23").
I'm not asking for money (although donations would be super awesome), just wondering if someone out there has a new or newish tv that is bigger than 32" that they would like to sell for cheap.
Also, if there's money left over, I want to buy his little sis some cool presents.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. | friend recently legally blind b/c of a brain tumor, want to buy him a bigger tv so he can watch hockey. |
t3_377hlu | Advice | Struggling to remove the urge to attempt intimacy with my mom's friend from my hormonal teenage brain... | For the sake of the below text, let's name my mom's female friend "Barb".
I'm a 19 y/o guy.
So pretty much, Barb has been friends with my mom since Barb's son and I started school together roughly 15 years ago.
I have never really found her attractive (despite her appearance being average) although I'm now questioning whether my urge to attempt intimacy is genuine or if it's due to her current circumstances.
I cannot get her out of my head and I fantasise over the thought of it.
She divorced roughly 10 years ago and now lives alone close to my home. She would call my mom on occasion crying because she is alone, and how she can't find a man and my mom would pity her.
Now this alone would usually put a guy off, however a few years back I came across a photo album in my mom's room during spring cleaning and found a few loose pictures at the back on Barb. She was nude in some and close to being nude in others with certain toys in hand. She and my mom were known to go to the occasional Ann Summer's gathering and so I imagine these poorly hidden pics were from those events.
Another thing is that any time she sees me (which is relatively rare, maybe once/twice a month) she jokingly tries to lick my ear or kiss me and for some reason I've always shied away from it so that I don't seem keen.
So from these factors I have concluded (possibly incorrectly) that she has a reasonably dirty mind and wouldn't be shy of it came to funky business.
My worry, however, is that she will not be willing to get freaky with a guy who is the same age as her son. Also, I'm worried that it's not suitable for me to be thinking about this :/
So Reddit, please give me a helping hand in this scenario as I've hit a brick wall. | Mom's friend is lonely and has been for a while. I feel like her situation would allow me to become intimate with her. Not sure if it's appropriate or even possible. Help. |
t3_3f1nb9 | relationship_advice | Met my SO [25M] online and "lied" about my [23 F] name... | I met my bf on an online dating site and said my name was "X", which is actually my middle name. I didn't want to use my first name "Y" on the internet for security reasons or whatever, plus I never really thought we would work out and to be honest I like my middle name more. We started dating and things went pretty well and we are together till now.
Eventually, I told him that "X" was my middle name and "Y" is my first one, but I didn't tell him that all my family and friends actually call me by my first name. This is the main reason why I haven't really introduced him to my family or friends, because I think it might be weird for him to see how everyone calls me "Y" and he is the only one that calls me "X". We've been together for over a year, and I've met his family and some of his friends and they all call me "X".
Am I overreacting? I really want to introduce him to my family and friends, but I'm just not sure how to handle this situation. I just feel like he might think I lied to him. Help :( | Met bf on dating site. Told him my name was my middle name but in reality everyone calls me by my first one. Worried about him feeling like I lied to him about my name. |
t3_vwse1 | AskReddit | How did your parents find out you drank/drink underage? I'll start. | For starters, I never drink and drive. If I am going somewhere to drink I am either staying the night or getting a sober ride home.
So, one night last summer I am out at a bonfire with a few of my friends and we are drinking pretty heavily, and I am having a great time with a few girls I had just met. As the night progresses, my trashed friend then proceeds to start cooking hot dogs for all of us. He ended up under cooking, and I'm sure me being intoxicated didn't help. After about an hour or so, I start throwing up. Hell, everyone was at some point. It completely ruined that for all of us.
So the next morning, I'm sick as hell and promised several people rides home. After about an hour of driving, pulling over to throwing up, repeat I make it home. I walk in my back door take a shower and then pass out. About an hour later, my mom wakes me up to give me breakfast. Breakfast went normally, just said the usual didn't get any sleep last night. As I was cleaning my dish off, I knew it was coming. I sprint to the bathroom and throw it all back up.
I walk into the living room to go back to my room and my mom asked if I was okay. I said I was fine, just my stomach had been acting up and that it was some bad hot dogs. My dad then cracked a joke as he was reading the newspaper "Well, how much did you have to drink?" At that instant my moms eyes bolted up and looked at mine giving a holy shit look as I tried to play off a fake chuckle. About three seconds later the paper goes down, and my dad muttered "Wait."
At that point I absolutely lose it. I'm sure it was the alcohol because I thought I was screwed but I couldn't help it. After questioning me about my night I told them that I had in fact been drinking but that I hadn't lied about the hot dogs. Turns out they were okay with it because I wasn't driving. But they said they never wanted to hear about me getting drunk. | Had bad hot dogs and after throwing up in front of my parents my dad made a joke about me drinking that revealed it. |
t3_3wmlya | relationships | i [23 M] got caught by my GF [22 F], what the hell I do???? | Throwaway account for this
So like around 2 hours ago (argument just died down) my GF came home and barged in on me and caught me in the act,..... and she flipped batshit crazy ......... What did she catch me on that got her flipping shit? cheating?? NOPE. murdering someone?? NOPE. she caught me masturbating..
yup..... and she flipped shit.... WTH is this about? what do i do?? why would she get so mad? its not like she's uber religious and against it or something....
she started shouting things like why do i do it. there is no reason to do it. etc etc | got caught masturbating by GF and she went bat shit crazy mode. i am literally confused as hell and srsly wtf did i do wrong? |
t3_2v7pej | Advice | I feel like I should go back to school, but I'm not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life. Anyone want to help me out? | So a little bit of background, I've been out of high school for 4 years now. I went to school for a couple years (1 year community and 2 years art school) I dropped out of school last year because the school I was going to started to lower their standards for the program i was in, It cost too much money, and I feel into a couple personal issues. I now no longer have interest in perusing that degree.
I have been out of school for a full year
Since I've been out of school I've moved up to full time at my current place of employment and started chipping away at loans that I couldn't afford to pay for before. Everyone keeps suggesting I go back to school and attempt to actually do something with my life and I'm starting to think that I need to do that too.
Now the big problem is that I need to take online courses. I can't afford to lose the pay or the benefits from my current job. I know online school isn't ideal because many people don't believe that It's actually worth it and that most schools are scams for money.
my other thing is that I don't know what I would want to go back to school for. I went for Audio Engineering before but don't want to go back for that now. I also really enjoy photography but I've been told that a degree in photography is virtually useless. I love animals and have always been around them my entire life so i've considered attempting becoming a vet but I can't do that because I wouldn't be able to emotionally handle that (IE: if the animal was too sick and I couldn't help or if something happened because of me. I would feel like it was my fault ect). I'm not really super interested in anything enough that I feel like I could do it for the rest of my life and i'm by no means looking for an "easy" solution" just a way to sort my life out. | I have 3 years of college under my belt, everyone tells me i should go back to school and get a degree but nothing seems to interest me. How do I get my life back on track? |
t3_2dbdgl | relationships | Me [19F] with my boyfriend [19M] of 11 months might need a break | I'm not talking about breaks where people temporarily break up and are allowed to see other people, but a break to give space to each other and figure out our thoughts.
Our relationship has been a bit rocky and after a long talk we ultimately put it down to him feeling confined and needing space.
I do admit that sometimes I am a bit clingy, I liked to talk to him every day, but usually towards the end if the day.
I suggested that we take some time to give each other some space, a break, and during that time we wouldn't talk to each other and see each other.
We haven't really solidified this idea yet, but he seems to think its something we could try.
But I can't help but worry. He has told me that his feelings haven't changed, that he still loves me, but he feels doubtful, like what if this break doesn't work, then what will we do? I know he wants to work everything out as well.
So basically, I'm just asking if a break would be a good idea and if anyone has tried this before and its worked. | Boyfriend feels confined with thoughts of us and recent days relationship has been a bit rocky. Ultimately decided that this was due to not getting enough space, suggested taking a break. Is it a good idea? |
t3_1htemt | relationships | I [22F] want to support my bi-curious boyfriend [22m] of 8 months. | Using a throwaway because he is a lurker, but I don't know all the subreddits he frequents.
My boyfriend (let's call him Oliver, yeah?) and I have been together for 8 months and are very happy together. Oliver told me before we started dating that he is also attracted to guys. I thought it was really great that he told me considering he is quite shy and gets nervous very, very easily.
We have had a mostly long distance relationship. We are from the same place, but went to college in different states and now I am in another country doing an internship. We communicate in any way we can. We had a couple of visits during the academic year and he is coming to see me in about 10 days.
Oliver and I talked, and we decided that we would like to try bringing another man to the bedroom at some point. Great, I'm on board... I've actually had a couple MMF threesomes in my day, so I wasn't freaked out/made nervous by the suggestion at all.
The thing is... I hope for him to grow comfortable enough to explore this side of his sexuality without me- I am thrilled that he wants me involved, but ultimately this is about him. Oliver was kind of a late bloomer while I am *ahem* experienced. I have had my time to explore and get to know myself and he hasn't yet.
How can I best encourage and support Oliver? I love him and I don't want him to miss out on anything or feel like he has to ignore desires or emotions he might have. He deserves to be as happy as possible. | My bofriend is bi-curious and inexperienced. How can I best encourage him to explore this part of his sexuality? |
t3_1eeitu | relationships | My (M23) girlfriend (F23) has gained alot of weight. Refuses to talk about it... | Been together for nearly 4 years now. She is gaining weight constantly. Its now at a point where im becoming resentful and losing interest sexually. I feel terrible to feel this way; especially when shes so amazing and everything i could want for in a partner.
Ive mentioned it before and she gets defensive. Occasionally in arguements she will always throw it in my face that i apparently think shes a "fat fuck".
How do i bring this up again? Its getting to the point where the relationship is strained yet i feel mentioning it will make hell break loose.
Ive suggested exercising together but shes very lazy. While im trying to go for a 20 minute run shes insistent on stopping every 30 seconds; literally barely working out at all. | girlfriend is gaining alot of weight. Mentioned it to her before. She refuses to lose it and always throws my previous concerns about it back in my face. |
t3_1aco9z | legaladvice | US - Ohio - Problems With Neighbors | I'm having some issues with my neighbors causing disturbances on a somewhat daily basis through all hours of the night. As far as I can tell, there is a bad domestic situation between SOs and they argue, pretty heatedly, very often. This went on a lot last summer and I called the cops a few times, but nothing ever came of it. I think the boyfriend moved out over the winter, but it sounds like he is back and the arguing is starting up again. It doesn't sound like they become violent, but it wouldn't surprise me if it got there.
I believe this house is a part of the Housing Choice Voucher Program of Cleveland (formerly Section 8). I tried contacting the Metro Housing Authority, but they refused to help citing privacy reasons.
My question is, who do I need to contact to file a formal complaint to see some action (either warn the tenants they need to cut this out or, to the extreme, have them evicted)? On a very selfish level, my concern is that they cause a disturbance to me and other neighbors, but my other concern is that there are children around the house all of the time and I would hate for them to be stuck in this situation. | My section 8 housing neighbors are loudly arguing a lot and keeping me up at night; what actions can I take to make it stop? |
t3_3bl5np | relationships | I'm a [30M] in an on-again off-again relationship of 2.5 years with a [29F]. We've remained friends throughout. Need advice. | So my now ex-girlfriend and I have been apart for the last 3+ months. We see each other with high frequency for exes, I suppose: 1-3 days a week. We've had sex and 'stayed over' 2 or 3 times in the last month, and we've done something together almost on a weekly basis, maybe bi-weekly, so all of the intimacy and familiarity is still there.
A few months ago she started seeing a therapist for personal issues that I won't get into here. I made her a promise that I would remain her friend forever, which is unusual for me because staying friends with exes is something that has always made me uncomfortable in all past relationships.
So the months have gone by with a few hiccups in our friendship. Arguments over how abrasive or rude I am sometimes (which I admit to) and how often she changes plans and is just a poor planner in general (serious peeve of mine, but I've *mostly* accepted it as a personality trait of hers).
I've made it apologetically clear in the past 4-6 weeks that I want to give our relationship another shot, and because of our past problems and her personal issues, she refuses but hasn't ruled anything out.
Anyway. My question is, how long do I realistically wait for her decision? As long as she needs? Do I have an emotional right to pressure her, time-wise?
I'm prepared to transition to being JUST friends - meaning less communication, no sex, less frequent hang-outs, etc. But I'm deeply in love with her and want us to make it. Any advice? | I want a relationship again. Ex-gf needs time to decide, I'm pressuring her. We're good friends regardless. |
t3_cpb80 | AskReddit | Reddit, please help me figure out my tech career path. | Just before I dropped out of high school I got my MCSE(which has long since expired). After I dropped out and got a GED, I did some part time consulting, basic hardware/software support, networking, your basic man with a van type business. I think I had 7 regular clients at my peak. Then I did a year stint in telephone tech support. After I got laid off I did a bunch of menial crap jobs for a few years and then had some medical problems that put me out of work for almost 2 years.
Now I desperately want to get back into some kind of tech field. Unfortunately I have no college degree, no certifications, and no real experience that has worked on a resume. I feel like I have the skills to be an asset to some company, but how can I get my foot in the door?
So, my question is, which way do I go? I'm currently broke, but I am expecting a one-time payday of $5000 sometime soon. I don't think I can afford to go to back to school on that, but I am good at teaching myself things. I could get another certification, but which ones? I also have some programming skills, I know C well and I've written a few Java programs. | I have no degrees, certifications or experience. Help me figure out how to turn my $5000 into a career in some tech field. I have solid hardware, and desktop software skills, and some networking and programming skills. |
t3_3ebmdj | relationships | My [28F] SO of 4 years [30M] used my credit card without my consent | I gave him my card so he could go to the store to return a pair of shoes. He returned the shoes and gave me the receipt. We agreed that I am keeping that money on my card and using it for part of his portion of the monthly bills.
The night before he asked if he could use my credit card to buy a skate board online and he would give me cash (he does not have a bank account or any credit cards because of his bad credit). I told him no, I didn't want to do that because he is currently unemployed, has limited funds and felt like he shouldn't be spending his money on that since he already has a few skateboards that he doesn't use that often.
I get home from work and look through my emails and see one from my credit card company that says there was a large purchase recently and asked me to review it. Apparently after he returned the shoes, he used my card to purchase a $120 skate board online. I was mad and asked him why he did that after I told him I didn't want to do it the previous night. He just kept saying he will give me the cash for it so he doesn't know what the big deal is. I feel like it would be the same as me taking cash out of his wallet without consent, even if I intended on paying it back. The more I think about it, the more upset I get and want make him cancel the order but I don't want to seem like a bitch. Am I overreacting? | gave my boyfriend my credit card to return something and he also used it to make a $120 purchase without my consent but plans on paying me back. |
t3_3303h1 | relationships | My girlfriend [18F] is constantly afraid she's pregnant and it's really beginning to grate on my [19M] nerves. | Hey, guys.
So my girlfriend of eight months, Sam, is beautiful and smart and usually one of the most rational people I know.
That being said, when it comes to sex, she starts to lose her mind a little.
Me and my girlfriend are both college freshmen and as such we bang basically everywhere, all the time. We always use protection (condoms).
Still, like clockwork, my girlfriend will inevitably start freaking out that she may be pregnant. This happens at least once a month. Usually her period comes and she's fine, but this month her period was late (it did end up coming) and she got so scared she had a panic attack and took a pregnancy test (negative).
I know for a fact how unlikely pregnancy with a condom is. I love her, but this is driving me crazy.
Because of some hormone problems, Sam can't go on birth control. She's considered doing it before (going as far as to get a box for three months) but I've really encouraged her not to do it if it will mess with her health. She's agreed (reluctantly). She doesn't want to get an IUD put in since doctors have suggested in the past that she may have PCOS and she doesn't want it showing up on an ultrasound (and there's a lot of complicated reasons).
So I'm perfectly happy using condoms. But I really wish my girlfriend wouldn't panic about being pregnant all the time. It's not healthy for her to be so stressed out over something so unlikely.
I should probably also mention that Sam is from a strict religious background (she's an atheist, but her parents are pretty devout) and as such she's perpetually terrified of her parents finding out she's had sex. She and I have both agreed that if she does get pregnant, she will get an abortion.
Please, reddit, help me make my girlfriend less paranoid. | My girlfriend lives in basically constant fear that she's pregnant. I love her, but I'm starting to get irritated. |
t3_4rprje | relationships | My (17F) best friend (17F) has become seemingly more distant and purposely does not include me in events with our friends | Some background info--
My best friend, lets call her Ali, and I have grown up together and became really close at around the age of 13. We look alike and share similar traits and are commonly mistaken as twins or sisters. In our relationship, she has always been pretty dependent on me and some would say I am a bit more mature than her. I am not sure how to phrase this but some people interpret Ali as maybe a "lesser" version of me--not as smart, fit, etc--although I do not have this attitude towards her whatsoever. She is fairly insecure and I notice a sense of competitiveness from her towards me at times.
Now, the issue; since school ended for summer, Ali has seemed to be distant from me. She's been hanging out with some new people, some that she knows I am not particularly fond of, and also hangs out with our small, close knit group of girlfriends and does not include me in the plans (she will make separate group texts with them and so on). I have a serious boyfriend so maybe she assumes that I'm busy with him? But she usually does not do this and it makes me feel very excluded.
My prediction with this situation is that Ali feels insecure being dependent on me. She's looking for a new-found freedom and independence and is in the process finding herself, not just following in my footsteps. I think it is good that she may be starting to find her identity and figuring out who she is. But, the way she is handling it hurts me. It's as if in order to find herself, she needs to isolate herself from me and feel as if she doesn't need me. It's weird to not have her as dependent on me and I'm unsure on how to handle it. Should I let Ali go through this phase of hanging out with new people and let her figure it out? Should I reach out? I am lost on what to do. Please help! | My best friend, who has always been dependent on me, is becoming increasingly more distant, hanging out with new people, and not including me in events with our friend group |
t3_sw2u3 | AskReddit | I put out a potential fire at McDonald's. What's a good deed you've done? | Went threw the drive in at McDonald's awhile back to get my regular Mocha Frappe. (I can not explain how much i love those things.) So I'm behind some dude waiting an i look at the flowers an all i see is the mulch smoldering an catching fire a bit. Someone has obviously flicked there cigarette towards the flowers. So I got out, stopped on it, kicked it around, to put it out. Guy in front of me was done ordering so jump in the car just in time to pull up an order. After i finished ordering i smelled burning plastic an notice i ruined my brand new sandals i just got that day. thought, "well, was worth it, i love there frappes" | Saved a company from a potential fire because i love there frappes. ruined my brand new sandals in exchange |
t3_3rzqt2 | relationships | My [26F] BF's [31M] room mate and best friend [33M] is in love with him. | I am in the early stages of a relationship with a 31 year old heterosexual male.
He has shared an apartment with a 33 year old male for 2+ years They have lots of common interests and really have become very best friends; people have always joked about them as a couple as they have historically spent so much time together.
Our relationship has really blossomed and we are both very deeply happy. His room mate has been a little withdrawn as he has lost his "playmate" but it actually turns out is more than this.
He recently become very drunk on 2 separate occasions and has told my BF he loves him and wants a sexual relationship. On the second occasion he became violent and physically assaulted my BF.
Once sober he has never really apologised and they are in a "no talking" stage right now. The room mate used to, and has continued to, walk around the apartment in his underwear and sleeps naked with his door open.
My BF is embarrassed as it never occurred to him that there was anything more than guy friendship in play. He was not aware that his room mate is not heterosexual. He is also quite hurt that this person has been almost deceiving him.
It has come to a head as now I am on the scene he is feeling like a jilted lover. | HELP, my bf's male room mate has declared he is in love with him. What do I/he/we do next? |
t3_3soia8 | relationships | Was emailing with my ex-girlfriend [22f] a sign she still thinks about me [25m]? Or was engaging a mistake? | Recently my ex-girlfriend emailed me since she wanted to know how I and my family was doing and "catch-up." Initially I let the email site for a few days and just replied with a really short response. I was/still am hurt by the fact she decided to call it quits.
She replied and shared a bunch of stuff she was doing and seemed genuinely interested in catching up so. Against what my head was telling me I wrote a longer email about what I was up to. She replied within a few hours. This went back and forth for awhile and she *always* replied to my emails immediately. I usually waited a few hours.
At first she went into detail into what she was doing. She asked if I knew if she changed her hair I said, "No", so then she sent me a picture of her new hairstyle. She wanted to see new specs I got, so I sent her a picture of me wearing them.
She seemed generally excited to reconnect share her life, and her about mine. She was happy to hear about how my family was doing too. I thought this didn't mean much, but why would she reply immediately and want to share pics?
Does her emailing me mean something or is she just trying to make sure I don't forgot about her? Does she view me as a close friend now and just wants to keep a non-sexual relationship?
I still care about her and I know she cares about me still. For awhile I was doing NC. I believe she is seeing someone else currently and I don't want to hear about that.
If she was seriously just catching up the whole email exchange is weird. If she wanted to leave the door open my feeling was she was fishing for something and I did not get the subtle hints. Thoughts? | Ex-girlfriend email me, wanted to know how I was doing. Trying to make sense of it. What does it mean? |
t3_g3eyy | relationships | How do you teach tolerance? | I (26M) have been with my girlfriend (23) for 7 months and she is great. Smart, beautiful and generally low maintenance. But there is something that has been bothering me more and more recently, she is very quick to judge and has a general "holier than thou" attitude toward others.
A couple of specific examples of things that have bothered me. At work she was helping interview a candidate for an entry level job. She said he generally fit and could definitely do the job, but he got his undergraduate in 5 years. "Only idiots take 5 years to graduate college." I objected and said that 5 years really isn't that uncommon and shouldn't hold him back if he is qualified. She disagreed, then I reminded her that her own brother took 5 years to graduate. "That's different, {my brother} isn't an idiot." "Well, doesn't that mean the person you interviewed may not be an idiot?" "I don't know I just didn't like him."
Today we were on the topic of marijuana. I personally don't use it but in the past have considered using it to treat my occasional anxiety and I have several friends who occasionally partake. Some of her quotes: "Only total losers without girlfriends do it" "They loose all motivation" "No one can lead a normal life on weed". Simple rebuttals (Is everyone who drinks an alcoholic? No. Is everyone who smokes a lazy pothead? No.) were met with complete disbelief that I would even consider a person who smokes a friend.
How do I show her that her way is not the only way? | How do I teach someone (my girlfriend in this case) to be less judgmental, more tolerant of others struggles, and more open minded? |
t3_13nbjm | AskReddit | Is being observant creepy? | Kinda thought this to myself. I've noticed that I'm pretty observant of things without trying to allocate my time to observing people, it's just easy to remember small things for me. I ask if it's creepy because there's so much you can find out about a person's schedule, routine, the mentality behind that routine and the person themselves by just noticing small things.
I was talking to my brother about how I basically nailed it to the tee when my friend would come online taking into account distance traveled to get home and if they didn't come on I would know why based on a general assumption. He obviously, and I can understand why, it was creepy. But I don't sit down and focus my time to figuring out something like this. It's just all this useless information sticks in my head so I naturally make something out of the information I uselessly gather.
This generally happens with people I don't even know as well. I find that I know a certain amount about them than you normally would find out by getting to know them. | I unintentionally gather useless information about people and based on that information I know certain things without talking or asking them. Even people I don't know. |
t3_3dwu96 | relationships | My [23 M] girlfriend [21 F] of 9 months is EXTREMELY FORGETFUL and sometimes it hurts me. | My girlfriend is an amazing girl. She's smart, charming, cute, funny etc etc she basically ticks all the right boxes EXCEPT for one thing: She's extremely forgetful. We could be having a convo about something today, and having the exact same one a week later because she forgot we had already talked about it. Usually this is fine, and I don't mind repeating convos with her because she's great to talk to BUT when it comes to forgetting personal details about me, this is when it starts to hurt.
For example, on our first date we talked about our favorite songs, and I told her why mine meant so much to me. Lo and behold, a few weeks later we were talking about songs and she asked me what my favorite one was. It was hurtful because if she had a song that was just as special to her, I'm pretty sure I would remember it. Bigger things she has forgotten: our anniversary date, my plans for summer vacation (I had been talking about them FOR MONTHS and she recently asked me what I was doing for summer vacation), my career plans after graduation.
I like this girl so much but it hurts me that she forgets little (and some big) things about me. I know she holds no malice and she genuinely feels sorry when I point out that I already mentioned these things to her before. At first I just teased her about her forgetfulness but lately it has been getting to me. I feel horrible for feeling this way because I know she doesn't mean to forget.
Am I overreacting? Can people be THIS forgetful or is this some sort of medical condition that I'm unaware of? If it IS a medical condition, she has definitely made no mention of it. Other than her forgetfulness, everything about her is perfect so I really don't know what to do here. | girlfriend forgets personal details about me that I've already mentioned (sometimes several times) and it hurts me. I really like her but I don't know what to do. |
t3_2ngez8 | relationships | I don't have fun when I go out with my gf and her kid | I'm 28, she's 25, and he's 5. We've been an item for 6 months.
I try to but it always seems kinda boring. We've gone to the arcades, disneyland, museum and it's all kinda boring. I think she feels I am getting the same joy as her watching her kid have fun but I'm not. I am bored out of my mind.
I only have fun at the movies because maybe it's all about the movie but sometimes we watch what he wants and those are kinda boring. I've wanted to watch Equalizer or John Wick but that never happened. We got to watch Big Hero 6, which I liked so it's okay. Is it supposed to be boring on dates with her kid?
I really have fun when it's just me and my gf. I love her company, she's funny and very loving. Sometimes when her kid is around, she is always worried, stressing out, sometimes she even gets into it with him. I think maybe I find it kind of annoying that they argue, or maybe it's because I'm not getting all the attention?
Today I wanted it to just be us but I don't think her mom wanted to watch him. So we went to the arcade again and I couldn't really enjoy myself because we both had to watch him and make sure he is having fun. I wanted to play the basketball games lol
I do have fun when they come over and he plays X-box and I get to the cuddle it up with his mom but then sometimes he hops in the middle and then I am getting ignored on the side. I know she will never put me first but that's okay.
I know we can maybe do something that me and the kid will both like but I am not trying to go broke here. A baseball game would be fun but I really prefer it to be just me and my gf since we are still new, I want spend quality alone time with her. Does that make me a bad person? | i dont have much fun when it's my gf and her kid but i have fun when it's just me and her. is that normal? |
t3_4d58xd | Advice | I feel like I never grew up. | For context, I'm 22 and male, in the USA. Growing up, i was very socially...uninvolved. I cared more about reading. Then in high school, I got into social crowds by being a 'class clown'. I never stopped though. I realize that I say things that are hurtful, and I would have trouble forgiving them if they were said to me, but in the moment, I think they're funny, and they just come out of my mouth. I feel like I'm still a teenager. I attribute much of this to being very isolated most of my life, surrounded by people of a religion I no longer follow. But that's not an excuse, and I want to change. I just need help figuring out how to approach it. | I never quit being a class clown, and now that I'm 22, it makes me an asshole. How do I change? |
t3_1u1ap8 | relationships | Me [23 M] and a longterm friend from school [22 F]: Could it be more? | It is kinda difficult to describe my situation and "problem" and english isn't my native language, so I apologize in advance for all those spelling and grammar mistakes. Bear with me.
I know this girl since 7th grade. We were in the same class for a few weeks before I left school because I moved to another city (not that far away but far enough to lose contact to most of my classmates and friends). We never really talked back then and I wasn't into her at all.
We briefly talked on facebook from time to time in the following years. At some point she mentioned that she is going to change schools for some reason and it turned out that she chose *my* school. So several years later, now in 11th grade, we are classmates again.
I was (and probably still am) way to shy when it came to girls. So I never really approached her and we talked nearly never. In fact people were always surprised when they found out that we knew each other for years. We just talked more and more online but I think it was never her, who took the initiative. She was never my crush during the following three years of school but I always liked her and I think we got along pretty well.
By now I am out of school for some years but I still talk to her online. She never starts a conversation but I think she likes talking to me anyway. Maybe I am wrong about this?
I still like her and I wish it was more than just a few conversations online. There is no other girl I feel that comfortable talking to. At this point I could picture a relationship with her although we haven't talked in person for years. Unfortunately she goes to a university hundred of miles away, so meeting for a coffee isn't an option. | I know this girl since 7th grade. Only talked online on my initiative. I really started to like her over the years. |
t3_2k0zuh | relationships | Me [33 M] with my neighbors [55F, 4M], noise issues. | My girlfriend and I moved into a GREAT apartment early this year. At the time, we were both working traditional 9-5 jobs while growing our jointly-owned business.
Last month, we hit a point where our business is self-sustaining and paying us enough to leave our jobs, with some income to spare. Our new schedules keep us up until about 3-4am every night. That means that we sleep until 11am or so every day. That's when we noticed that we have a fucking banshee living above us a few days a week.
A few weeks ago, we were rattled out of bed by screams of a toddler at 6am on a Saturday. This screaming continued pretty much all day. The mom and grandmother tried to console the shrieking child by loudly saying, "it's okay, it's okay." This fourteen episode fit drove my dogs crazy, to the point where they were barking most of the day. This continued until about 8pm.
Same night, around 9pm, girlfriend and I are preparing to leave and do some work. I'm listening to some music at what most people would consider an acceptable level. Knock on the door. It's my neighbor and her daughter.
"My baby is trying to sleep, and your dogs have been barking all day, and that music is too loud."
In my exhausted state, I didn't have it in me to argue with her and tell her that my dogs were irritated by her child, and I was using the music to relax after a day of hearing the kid cry and the mom/grandma trying to console it. I simply turned off my music, apologized, and left for work.
I found that our upstairs neighbor has a daughter [19F] with a small child. The daughter can only see her child on weekends, with the supervision of my neighbor. This has been happening for a few weeks now, and I guess there's no sign of it stopping until the mom gets her shit together enough to win unsupervised visits. | Upstairs neighbor has a very loud baby in her apartment 2-3 days every week. Complains about my dogs barking and the (pretty damn low) music from my stereo. |
t3_31qif1 | relationships | My [25m] girlfriend [27f] of 6 years is breaking up with me because she thinks I drink too much. | My girlfriends parents found a couple of bottles of alcohol in her room and started to get crazy on her. She started going to AA meetings and now she thinks that I drink too much.
I work a pretty labor intensive warehouse job and have Sat, Sun, Mon off. I like to work on my car and hangout with my girlfriend during my days off and enjoy some adult beverages. These are the only days that I will drink. I never drink on work nights because I am exhausted and I don't feel the need to drink after getting off of a 10 hour shift that ends at 3am.
She thinks our relationship is "toxic" now because she has been going to these counseling classes and they're telling her that I drink too much. I do not think I am an alcoholic in any way. I drink on my days off and that's it. She usually joins me on these days before she went to the classes. I don't need it to function and I can not drink if I please to. These classes and meetings are tearing us apart because now she thinks I drink way too much. | Girlfriend started going to AA meetings and thinks I drink too much now even though I only drink on my days off when I'm relaxing. |
t3_2iig8n | relationships | Me [20 F] realizes I have feelings for my friend [20 M] of 3 years, who has a girlfriend. | I've been friends with this guy for about 3 years. Freshman year of college he started getting feelings for me and I kind of put him in the friendzone. At the end of Sophomore year, last year, we ended up sleeping together. Nothing was awkward after that and I started to realize that I really liked him.
Anyways, he went home for summer break 8 hrs. away from me and over the summer he started dating a girl from his hometown. Now we're back at school and we have been hooking up for the past two months. I feel really guilty since I know he has a girlfriend but I can't help feeling the way I do towards him and I know he still has feelings for me. | Friendzoned guy, slept with him after 2 years and realized I really like him. He gets a girlfriend and we are still hooking up. |
t3_11gr2u | BreakUps | Saw her for a second, had a dream about her the next night | Me (19/Male) and my ex (18/Female) have had no contact for about a month now. I went to a play on Friday and I love going to plays at my college. Unfortunately, she's going to be involved because she's a major in Theatre-Arts. Anyways, she was working as a stage member and I saw her name in the program and my heart sunk. Then I saw her on stage and looked away right away. Dammit. I saw her headband, I loved her headbands.
Anyways, the next night I had a dream we went to a mutual friend's dinner together. Our gay friend got up and left and she left right after. She went outside and held his hand and I couldn't stop staring. She looked back and saw me and gave me a weird look. Then she walked back to the restaurant and I woke myself up. She gave me so much crap about flirting with a lesbian BEFORE we even started dating. I told her it was joke flirting and I felt nothing towards the lesbian. But while we dated, she held hands with her gay friend. In fact she would hold hands with him OVER holding hands with me. She would cuddle with him too.
I hated that. Why was it okay for her to have contact with a gay friend and she could give me crap for joking flirting and never touching a lesbian friend? I just wish I didn't see her in my nightmares. I don't know how to escape that. | Had a dream of my girlfriend holding hands with a gay friend. She gave me crap for flirting with a lesbian but it was always okay for her to be close to this gay guy. Double Standards caused a lot of our fights. |
t3_4weem4 | relationship_advice | My (26f) friend (23f) asked me to be a bridesmaid. I accepted. Now, she is making demands More than a normal wedding would warrant. Am I terrines for wanting to back out? | Hi all! Sorry no flair. On mobile.
To start out, my friendship with my friend (who shall be referred to as "J" from this point on), is already on the rocks as of late. This is due to
A) she is always at least an hour or two late for everything
B) she says very mean things (in a joking tone) to people who she is "friends" with. E.G., go kill yourself, i will kill your whole family, I hate you ect.
C) she says terrible things about my best friend, who has done nothing to her.
Anyway, last year before she even got formally engaged (I didn't know this at the time) she had a dress fitting and picked out the bridesmaid dresses. This is all ok, luckily I didn't buy my dress that day (though one of the others did). Because she then decided the next week that she changed her mind about her dress and ours.
Later on, after she became officially engaged, and we were officially bridesmaids, she dropped a bomb shell on us.:
A) there would be not one, but two weddings.
B) one of the weddings would be in a location we would have to fly to because it's remote (and pay all of our own traveling expenses) might even have to hire a private small plane, due to the remoteness of the place.
C) the first wedding is this month, though she has changed the dates 5 times already.
D) the wedding that we will travel to, is within days of Christmas. Which is my most busy time of year with my small business.
E) she said I could wear a bridesmaid dress I wore for my sisters wedding, but has since changed her minds (less than 3 weeks before the wedding, and she knows I'm going through financial difficulties)
So, reddit. Am I wrong in wanting to back out of the December wedding? | after agreeing to be a bridesmaid, bride makes unreasonable expectations I didn't agree to. Am I wrong to want to quit the wedding? |
t3_40p1ai | relationships | My sister[F/29] has expensive taste and spends a lot of money including some of mine [F/23]. I'm frugal and don't make much. How do I tell her without sounding inconsiderate or cheap? | Hi y'all,
Just wanted to first say thank you for listening to my rant. This has been going on for awhile now but I don't know how to go around it. I hope that you could give me your insights.
My sister and I live in separate countries - she is in a 3rd world country while I live in the States. She likes a lot of stuff here and always asks me to order things from Amazon so she could use it for her leisure and her upcoming business. I would be happy to provide her with my credit card, however, I never really kept track of my expenses neither asked her to pay me back. After all, she is my sister and the same goods that she wants in her country is twice the price.
The twist here is that my older sister has a sugar daddy. While he provides her enough money to cover regular trips to United States, expensive meals, a budget for her expenses, she still asks me to buy things for her.
It's hard for me since I don't make half as much. I currently live in one of highest cost of living cities in United States and I just want to save as much as possible. I also have a frugal personality and don't need much in my life.
The hardest part for me is knowing that my sister is equally generous to me. She would buy me nice clothes, take me to high end restaurants, and take good care of me whenever she visits.
So in the end, I feel like an ass if I refuse to pay for my sister but in the same time, I feel torn having to spend on expensive goods. | Sister has expensive taste and is used to spending money. I am frugal and don't make much. How to be accommodating to her while not coming off as cheap? |
t3_hwqas | AskReddit | What can I do to fix my work ethic? | I've always had trouble with doing my work. I would hate to put the blame directly on my parents, but when I was young, they truly showed no interest in me doing my school work, so I would skip my homeworks to the point of getting D's in a lot of my classes. A few of my teachers even wanted to hold me back up until about 7th grade, when my work ethic became good enough to not constantly be on the verge of failing.
I'll be 19 years old in two months, and my work ethic hasn't changed much from 9th grade. I have about a 3.0 GPA in a small university because I don't study until a week before my finals (excluding the first couple weeks where I feel like it's a new start). It's just plain embarrassing. I'm ashamed of my inability to set out to do something and fulfill it 100%. I always feel distracted by something that isn't there.
I've been wanting to learn discrete math for over a year now, and I picked up some books and then I read the first couple chapters and then I had to put the books back because school was ending. I haven't touched discrete math since (except every once in a while it'll be about 2AM and I'll download an e-book on it, start reading it, and then go to sleep only to never see the book again).
It's crippling, embarrassing, and I'm ashamed of it. Is there nothing I can do besides "just try harder" that can help me overcome this? | I'm lazy as shit, and I can't do things even if I want to do them because my work ethic is so poor, how can I fix this? |
t3_1nsx39 | relationships | Me [22F] with boyfriend [25M] for almost three years. Lived together for 1.5 years. Help with what to discuss before marriage? | As the title says, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have talked marriage for a while and are both sure we want to marry each other, but there hasn't been any reason to rush.
Now, there kind of is. He has a very good shot of getting selected as a military officer. His training would likely start next summer and last for 1-1.5 years. During this time, I will be finishing my second bachelor's in nursing. Should he get in, we have decided that we logically should get married before he leaves for training, for many reasons.
My question is, this is coming a lot sooner than we anticipated, and while we have talked a lot about our future together, I need to know what the most important topics we must discuss. Since we have lived together for 1.5 years, a lot of things (like entertaining, cleaning, house rules, etc) have already been worked out. However, I am wondering what other things we should talk about.
Should we combine finances? Pros/cons to this?
Prenup? (He is a lawyer so of course he thinks everyone should have a prenup, but neither of us have any investments/significant savings/inheritances to protect)
Other things to discuss? I would love to go to pre-marital counseling, but I am not sure we can afford it, and it is very hard to find non-religious counselors (we are both atheists). So, any insight/help would be appreciated!! | Boyfriend and I may be getting married sooner than planned, help us make sure we have talked through all the important stuff!! |
t3_4nzjee | relationships | My [28F] boyfriend [31M] won't buy me a bday present due to "expenses." | I am turning 29. All of my friends are out of town so I was hoping my BF might plan something special for my bday. Only problem is we are closing on a house soon so I know the only celebration I might get is a quick dinner that will probably be more about food than celebrating. Today my BF asked if he could not buy me a present because "he is buying me a house." Before you start screaming about me being selfish he is buying US a house and I've "loaned" him twice as much money than he's spent buying the house. His other expenses recently would be buying a dog he fell in love with (without me really wanting one) as "my" anniversary present. He even named the dog without me. After buying me the present (dog) he complained constantly about the cost. I've now spent over $250 on "my" present (dog).
I get we have had a lot of expenses recently but is it wrong for me to be sad that he made the decision not to buy me a present over his finances when I've had to pitch in more? And the house is in his name. It's not my house and not my present. I'm really not even a big gift person. Last year all I wanted was new sneakers. It just made me cry to hear him say he didn't want to get me anything knowing I've helped him every step of the way. | Boyfriend won't buy be a birthday present due to his expenses but I've spent more money than he has. He keeps saying his expenses are for us but they are all his choices. |
t3_55989i | relationships | Me [30F] with my neighbor [30ishF] 1 year, I gave her my phone number after she made a noise complaint and now she won't stop sending me passive aggressive messages. | I currently live in an old Victorian house that has been divided into 3 1-bedroom apartments. I live upstairs, and the neighbor who I speak of lives right below me on the main floor. I have lived in this apartment for about 1.5 years. The apartments are renovated, however the hardwood floors are original, thus they creak a lot and sound can travel easily.
When I first moved into the apartment I honestly had no idea how easily the sound traveled. I had some work friends over after the bar one night and we made a lot of noise/played music and the girl who lives below me got upset and made a noise complaint (just came up to talk to me, did not call police). I felt extremely bad and apologized, got her a Giftcard to the local coffee shop and gave her my phone number for her to message me if "things got too loud again".
Well... fast forward to now and things have gotten out of hand. As a disclaimer, I am not a party girl. I work your typical 9-5, go to bed around 11pm-12am, I rarely have people over on the weekends. But I now receive at least 2-3 passive aggressive texts per month from the girl downstairs about "noise". Some of these include:
-When I moved my luggage from under my bed
-When my boyfriend slept over and he was snoring
-When I dropped a glass bowl on the floor and it shattered, and I had to use the vacuum at 1030pm.
These are just minor examples. The thing is, I understand the noise travels but I'm getting tired on these texts for "one off" noises that I think are not a big deal. It's getting to the point where I'm nervous to do anything or have my boyfriend sleep over because I don't want to wake up to one of her texts. When we see each other in passing she is always very kind and pleasant, so I don't know how to talk to her without coming off as bitchy or rude. Any suggestions??? | How do I tell my neighbor her passive aggressive texts have become too much? Am I the one who is actually being annoying? |
t3_v2jgc | relationships | My new GF has a few friends who are single or non-attached men. She sometimes hangs out with them alone, but I've recently told her "no way". Am I out of line? | I'm a 33 year old man, and started dating this new GF (28) almost a year ago. She's honestly the best GF I've ever had. We really click well and love being around each other. She's kind of a tom-boy and consequently has a few guy friends. 1 in particular is a friend from college (friends for 5 years) and another is a recent friend (friends for about a year).
Maybe 2-3 times a month, she'll text or call saying "Thinking about grabbing happy hour with #### (one of those guys) or "Probably gonna bar hop tonight with ####".
She never lies about it. And I'm usually invited. And I've gone once or twice just to meet her friends.
The thing is 1 of these guys (the first one I mentioned above) she admits tried to "get with her" back in college. And he sometimes will drunk dial/text her and/or flirt with her. He's also told her that he doesn't like me as her boyfriend.
So, recently, I told her "I don't feel comfortable with you hanging out with him alone." She understood my point of view, but said that she's been friends with him so long that she doesn't want to feel like she suddenly can't be.
Also, just in general, I don't like the idea of my GF hanging out ALONE and DRINKING with single men who I don't really know.
So, am I being overly jealous? Anyone else have this experience? | GF wants to hang out alone with single guy friends who flirt with her and drunk call her and I'm starting to tell her "no way". |
t3_fpww7 | AskReddit | Reddit, I need to quit my job and I am scared to death what's going to happen. | A little background information:
I was working at an art gallery when they prematurely decided to close their doors until further notice. They told me they would be open until ATLEAST the end of April so I hadn't even begun to start looking for a new position yet.
Yesterday they told me that I can be a telemarketer for their production warehouse an hour and a half from my house working for MUCH less (min. wage) and no added commission on sales.
I know this job was just temporary and I have a somewhat decent resume from doing video editing and graphics for some Universities in Boston but I am seriously scared shitless. I have about a month rent saved and have no idea what to do now. | gallery closing months earlier than i was told. basically demoted to job I can't afford to take. don't know what to do |
t3_164fg0 | relationships | Do I [F23] answer my roommates [F23] questions about her Boyfriend [M22]? | Background
My roommate and I- We have known each other for about 8 years or so, and we have gotten along fairly well... I wouldn't say she was my closest friend, because I tend to keep a distance with my roommates so I don't see their crazy. We do talk though, but mostly she asks my opinion on her bf all the time...
My roommate (Annie) and her boyfriend (Raj)- They have been dating on and off for about 2 years. The first time they dated was for about 6 months and Raj dumped Annie saying he didn't like her and that he didn't have a place for her in his heart anymore... Annie was DEVASTATED! All she did for a year was moping and crying. She even got very physical with her friends which led to her friends distancing themselves from her. It was like going through hell because she still hung out with him "as friends" where she led herself on. A year goes by, Annie finally tells Raj, no begs Raj to get back together. They do. I do not understand this at all because why would Annie want to be with someone who didn't want to be with her? Fine. I let her be happy and minded my own business.
NOW-
Annie and Raj have been dating for about 8 months, everything is going well. Annie is still quite moody which I think is due to her low self esteem. BUT for some reason Raj has not told her the L word and she is freaking out. She keeps asking me if she should say the L word and asks me questions about their relationship. I tell her that I don't want to be in the middle, and I don't know their relationship because I'm not in it. Even after stating that the questions are constant and irritating, SO irritating that I just want to tell her exactly how I feel in a mean way. I am starting to resent her and her relationship.
I need advice on how to calm myself down, and if I should give her my honest opinion or not... | My roommate is in a relationship which does not seem to be headed anywhere, and keeps asking me questions about it. I am very confused about how to approach this subject. |
t3_1p5t8s | relationships | I (f30) have not heard from boyfriend (m43) for three days - Does this sound ok to send? | I'm not sure what's going on with my bf - we've been together for 4 months; friends for nearly 3 years. We spoke over email three days ago - perfectly nice stuff about our day, etc. That day, I sent him a little text about the fanfare he must be encountering by Fenway Gardens and another email saying hi, asking him how his day was going... But he didn't respond to either. And hasn't contacted me at all since then.
The next evening, I sent him an email saying, it's weird not to have communicated for so long. are you ok? (We typically email and text a few times a day and talk almost every night.) No response.
I have no idea what's going on... To further complicate things, we're long distance right now so I can't go over to his place. I'm worried, but it's so strange - this silence isn't following a fight (we haven't fought at all since we've been together) or anything negative...
Plus, our three year friendship makes this fade? seem even weirder. He doesn't have much social media - a facebook account that hasn't been checked in months. He's active on flickr but hasn't checked that in a few weeks.
Anyhow, this is what I want to say. Is it ok?:
I think you owe me an explanation as to what's going on. I've read over our last conversations and I can't find anything in them that would suggest something was wrong in our relationship. I'm beside myself with worry - could you, at the very least, let me know you're ok? | boyfriend hasn't communicated with me in three days - this is weird because we talk all the time. Should I send him one last message? |
t3_22vkij | relationships | Me [18 F] with my ex [17 M]. Went out for 3 years, dumped me 2 weeks ago, he's gone off the deep end | This man shattered my heart a mere 2 weeks ago. Said he didn't love me anymore, though he did love me like. 3 days before dumping me. Anyways, we decided to stay "friends." I acted really clingy for a while because of pain. We saw each other a couple times and it was almost normal. Things seemed to be improving and it looked like we were on our way to a "normal" friendship.
Half the time he just ignored me. Then he blew up at me one day and I haven't heard from him since. Cool with it, he needs to figure his shit out and stabilize before we could talk again.
But anyways, literally all he's been doing since we broke up is drinking and smoking weed. Sunday night he got drunk at home alone and ended up puking. He smokes weed every day now. He said he's going to buy a gram of coke. I found out that Thursday night he got alcohol poisoning (not sure if he was by himself or not). And those are only the things I actually know about...
I have been giving him the space he wants, but when I found out about the alcohol poisoning I texted him making sure he was okay. All he said was that he's fine and doesn't want to talk.
I'm still desperately in love with him
It just fucking sucks because I'm worried about him and miss him extremely and I don't understand why he's acting out. Is this normal behavior or what? Is it just a phase? | Ex boyfriend has been doing a lot of drugs/drinking a lot since we broke up. Is this a normal post-breakup phase of indulgence in freedom or what? |
t3_3y41zp | relationship_advice | I'm (18/M) wondering if it was possible to talk to a girl(18/F) with nothing in common | I always find it difficult to start any sort of conversation with absolutely nothing in common with the other person. All my current friends have either games or work or school or clubs that we go to or do together. I used to go to the same school as this girl but now that school's over there's nothing bring me and her together. She's taking different classes in a school I might not even be going to; she's got entirely different hobbies and interests. It seems like there's nothing that can bring this person and me together. She's really social and I'm not. I was really interested in her because she seemed really kind and different. | Is this the part where I should suck it up realize that unless something miraculous happens in the future that ties our paths together I'm not going to see her again? |
t3_51gpub | relationships | My [25] wife [24] is obsessed with trying to get our toddler daughter [22m] "discovered" on instagram to be a model. | I love my wife but she refuses to go back to work and all she does is spend all the money left over from the job I hate but work to support them on new outfits every day for our kid because she wants to make her a 'brand rep' on Instagram so she can eventually get discovered as a model and 'make money' and 'be famous' and 'get free stuff'. She won't even work on the 3 days a week our kid goes to child care for socialisation. She uses it as time to nap and get her nails done.
My sister called her out on it and said that she is teaching our daughter that her only value is in her looks and what she is wearing/if she has the 'latest' clothes and that it's a really poor message to send to our child. My wife lashed out at my sister for that and is now trying to freeze her out. But I think my sister had a point.
I told my wife that I think she needs to stop doing this and now she is giving me the guilt trip for not 'supporting her' as a SAHM and not loving my daughter enough because 'don't you want her to have nice things'. Of course I do, but no child needs $250 a week spent on its wardrobe.
Don't know what to do. I feel like if I push it too far, it will end badly, but I think this needs to stop. | Wife obsessed with getting daughter discovered on Instagram as a model, spends $1k+ a month on clothes for her, guilts me for not 'loving my daughter' when I try and call her out. |
t3_2zryet | relationships | Me [16M] with my online friend [25F] Am I over complicating or overthinking everything? | About a year ago I met someone in a game I play, she was a pretty nice person and fun to hang out with so we became friends. Over the last few months I've grown closer to her, my computer broke and my current PC is trash so I've only been able to socialize with my online friends. **I should also add that she is in a long term relationship and there's nothing romantic going on.** She's been there in some really tough times lately, I confide her with personal issues and some family issues and she always is there to talk to me about it which means a lot to me considering I've never really had a friend I felt I could trust **that** much.
Moving forward with the issue at hand, I find myself thinking about our friendship more than I should I always have this feeling like I'm more of a chore to her, I've brought this up and she has assured me that it's not true. The littlest things set me off and make me feel inferior compared to her friends for instance, she would comment on someone elses profile with something like "Glad you're back buddy!" or something along those lines and I wonder why she has never done the same to me. Another example is this, there's days I'm bored outta my mind so I ask her to stream for me so she did and I see her playing with another friend and I instantly feel down.
I don't know what nor why I behave this way, there's days where I feel really content about our friendship and there are days where I feel like I'm nothing to her. Any advice? | I always end up over complicating things with my friend, I don't know what or how I can fix myself. |
t3_3wqoks | relationships | I get really depressed when I look at the girls that my boyfriend follows on Instagram (23f) | I guess this is more of a personal problem than anything else, but I'm embarrassed to talk to anyone in my real life about it. I went through my boyfriends "following" list on Instagram a few weeks ago and looked at every single profile that looked like it belonged to a girl. I know this is psychopath behavior, but I couldn't help it. I was curious. Most of the girls he follows are his friends, but I also noticed he's following a few accounts of models (Alexis Ren, Cami Moronne, Etc) I checked out their profiles and it pretty much shattered my self-esteem. I consider myself decently pretty and have a petite body, but I feel like a deformed monster when I compare myself to these women. Their bodies are so perfect and they have the most naturally pretty faces. I've been trying so hard to get my body how I want it but I feel like it would be impossible to look even half as good as these women. I'm prone to low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy already, but knowing that this is what my boyfriend is attracted to just makes those feelings a million times worse.
I decided to follow these accounts and a few similar ones for motivation, but whenever I look at them I get extremely depressed. I love my boyfriend, but what's the point in being with him if he is constantly looking at women who are a thousand times better than me? It doesn't help much that he doesn't really compliment me often or really at all, it's just not his personality. I put a ton of effort into my appearance every time I see him, but he rarely tells me I look pretty.
I guess I just need advice on dealing with feeling inadequate next to the models that my boyfriend finds attractive. Obviously every guy looks at pictures of hot women and porn and whatnot, but I guess it just makes it worse that I now know *exactly* what he likes and that I'll never measure up. | I've been very depressed ever since I looked at the girls my bf follows on Instagram. How can I deal with these negative feelings? Thank you. |
t3_xzxpr | running | Hurt my right foot yesterday sprinting in soccer cleats. Not sure what I did, how to heal it, or how to avoid it in the future. HELP! | At the end of rugby practice we were doing sprints and I somehow hurt the bones of my right foot (metatarsals). My cleats are a season old and in pretty good shape, but I have noticed some pain from what seems like a lack of cushioning. I'm flat footed, but I've never had any problems due to it in the past. Perhaps its because I currently weigh more than ever (205-210lb with a height of 5'11")? Right now I'm hobbling around the office and it hurts to put weight on it, although there isn't any swelling or visible bruising. Last night after practice I soaked it in Epsom salts for a half hour and then put an ice pack on it. Any ideas? I've got practice on tuesday and want to be ready to go. Thanks! | 28M 5'11" 205lbs Hurt foot bones sprinting in soccer cleats, no swelling, but painful to walk on. Not sure how I hurt it or how to solve the problem. |
t3_1zowjs | travel | Advice on traveling for 1-2 months in Mexico/Guatemala | Hello fellow travelers!
Last June I studied in Puebla, Mexico and fell in love with the country. I've decided to go back for a bit longer this summer, probably mid-May to mid-July. I am looking for advice on:
* places to visit
* possible routes
* budgeting (I will stay mostly in hostels I think)
* general info, safety, tips, etc.
So, some info about me. I'm a 21 year old female and will possibly be traveling with a friend, but she has not committed yet and may be only able to join me in June. I also should mention I'm vegetarian, in case anyone has tips related to that.
My itinerary is really open, the only requirement I really have is to spend some time in Puebla to visit friends there. I'd also prefer to stay to the south for safety reasons, maybe end up in Guatemala.
This will be a relatively inexpensive trip. As mentioned, I plan on staying in hostels, eating street food, few paid excursions/events, though I don't plan on roughing it completely. I'd like to have the occasional nice meal, visit an attraction, see a sports game, etc. I'll probably travel with my luggage in a backpack and move by bus.
One thing I'm considering is offsetting some costs by doing odd jobs through helpexchange, WOOFF, or something similar. I figure that could be a cool way to still see the country while not having to pay as much for lodging and food.
Is it reasonable to budget about $3000 USD for food, lodging, travel, and shopping/sightseeing (not airfare) for this? I'd LOVE to hear from those who have experience in Mexico or similar countries/regions on how they spent their money. Anecdotes or general travel information are of course more than welcome. | 21 year old female backpacking in Mexico May-July 2014. Where to go? What to do? How much to budget? General advice? |
t3_266145 | relationships | Today I [25 F] fucked up with my boyfriend [27 M] of 1 year. | I apologize in advance for the rant but bear with me (somebody gets shot in this story).
My boyfriend "Greg" is the nicest person I've ever meet ever. We've dated awhile now and he wanted to know more about me... That's the issue. Thing is I have a rather unsavory past of being an all round juvenile delinquent.
Greatest hits of my record include; multiple possession charges, GTA, Aggravated assault, Armed robbery and last but certainly not least I shot one of the clerks I was robbing.(not fatally)
I am ashamed it took the last one to realize how badly I fucked up and did a complete 180 with everything about my life. I have now got my shit together.
Thing is my boyfriend has always been a straight arrow and has the lowest tolerance for any kind of drugs or violence. (partly what attracted me in the first place). This reinforced by his EXTREMELY Catholic family.
So when he started asking more about my past and I kept ducking things got a little tense and today we kinda had a big fight that ended with me storming out and crying all the way to my shitty apartment. I have never been more scared of losing the love of my life I think he deserves to know but i'm terrified of him leaving. Am I just being paranoid?
I apologize again if this makes no sense or seems hysterical i'm really emotional and could use advice. | How should I deal with my straight laced boyfriend inquiring into my past that he doesn't know is juvenile delinquency. |
t3_2s8nqc | relationships | Everything was going great between me [21/F] and him [21/M] then flipped out of nowhere | I had been seeing this guy for a little over 3 months. We hit it off when we first met and started to spend a lot of time together as time went on.
Sometimes we'd hang out 3-4 times a week, he'd text me everyday, have a great time when we were together, met all his friends and hungout with them on a regular basis. I really thought it was going to progress into something.
For about the past week however, he was acting really distant. Never asked to get together, rarely texted me, so yesterday I asked him why he was being this way..
He said he was into me and enjoyed spending time together but just wasn't ready to commit to anything serious yet.
I don't know where to go from here. Do I keep things casual? Just be his friend? (We have mutual friends). Or just move on and do my own thing? | Seeing a guy for a few months, things were going great, out of nowhere said he wasn't ready for relationship. What do I know? Casual? Friends? Move on? |
t3_2jzmb6 | relationships | Me [27 M] with my [27 F] girlfriend. Dating 6 months. Called her ex's name and she is not speaking to me. | My girlfriend and I have been happily dating for 6 months. Since the beginning of this relationship I have always felt like it was different and had a strong feeling she could be the one. Everyday we talk, text, hang out and tell the other that we love them.
The other day we were spending time together and I was telling her about a situation and in that situation I called her by the name of my ex. She seemed upset about it. Did a little "I caught you" kind of laugh. But I could tell she was upset. I apologized but that didn't change much. She ended up leaving shortly after instead of spending the night.
A little background info... my ex was awful. I grew to hate her. She died years ago in a car accident. I am not in love with my ex.
I haven't heard from my girlfriend in almost 2 days. I did text her the following day and she sent a minimal curt text. I gave her some space but I have yet to hear from her.
My question is what should I do? I've apologized. She knows I am not in love and well over my ex. This for me feels like it could be red flags in our relationship. To just ignore me for 2 days when upset just doesn't feel right. I feel like in the future, her problem resolving skills for bigger, more important fights are going to be worse then this. So I don't know what to do for now or what to think about the future. | Gave girlfriend wrong name in story/ situation and she is upset. Hasn't spoken to me for almost 2 days. |
t3_2r4xu0 | relationships | 18M wanting to take charge of his life and wants to lose his virginity and not be a pussy. Help Me Please | Hello, I am a 18yr old male. From the title you can assume that I am a virgin. Yes, not just any virgin either, a mega one. I have never even kissed a girl in my teenage years. Now don't get me wrong, I am really bored at work and i was doing some life reevaluation and I decided to ask you guys for help because I am a prideful person and will not share this information with anyone I know.
The problem does not lie with my conversation skills or my looks, I've had modeling agencies contact me and refused because that isn't my calling in life. Anyways, it is totally a me problem. I can cut women down with the glance of my eye and I can see them salivating. I can sense sexual tension and feel it myself. I am confident in every aspect of my life, I have a fake it till you make it philosophy. I am regarded as the funniest person people have ever met and have large amounts of friends who will get me out of a pinch in a blink of an eye. When it comes to actual relationships though, I am total garbage. I'm not saying it in the "ohh woah is me" I am trying to get this sorted out of the way. People at my high school believe I have had tons of sex and I don't really go along with it but I sure don't decline an ego boost.
But the fact of the matter is. I need help. My problem is as easy as rolling a snowball down a hill. Once you get it going it won't stop. All I need is to just do it I know but I feel as though i'm being expected to do an impossible task! Even though how stupid it sounds believe me I know. But I don't know it's just frustrating at this point. What are your guys' thoughts? Without a doubt this is my Achilles' heel. I Need some advice! | 18yr old virgin needs to learn how to man up and take what he wants. Needs help. Give advice and personal scenarios. |
t3_1djh8e | relationship_advice | Not sure what to do. [22M] | First off relevant background info. I'm recently divorced, and have a 8 month old son. Only ever had one real relationship.
So onto it. So at my work I have been taking to this girl, nothing serious just water cooler banter. She's pretty cool, and I do find her attractive. I had my suspicions, but I found out today, that she probably likes me. Her friend made it a point to make sure we took or breaks together, going as far as to say she wanted to take her breaks the same time a me. Combined with weirdly suspicious behavior (giggles, a note I couldn't read, out of the way effort). I'm comfortable with my deduction, based on these facts.
My dilemma is that she is 6 months pregnant. I don't know if I want the (for lack of a better word) drama that would go along with that. I already have a kid, and the potential problems that could come with this scares me. I don't think she's knows I have a kid, or that I'm divorced, I'm not very open with my personal life.
I would like to see where a relationship could go, but I don't want her son to think of me as a dad and then it doesn't work. Plus I don't know if I could handle an other kid (were it to go that far).
So my question, should I give it a shot or not, and what should I do if not. I really enjoy talking to her, but don't want to lead her on, or loose the friendship we already have. | like a girl, feelings are most likely returned. she's pregnant, I have a kids already. Should I go for it, or stop it before it goes to far. |
t3_knm3p | dogs | Friend just got a chihuahua and we need some help. | Several days ago my friend's family found a puppy on their front door. It was a tiny little chihuahua and they had no choice but to take it in. They've put posters around and kept it vague so they wouldn't have any unsavory encounters. If they don't find the owner soon the Mom wants to keep the puppy. The only problem is that the chihuahua needs to get adjusted to the six year old Maltese. (Who has lived alone for six years.) Basically this is what my friend told me what was happening. The puppy barks at the Maltese ,but Hiro ( the maltese) does nothing. When the puppy begins to get close to Hiro, Hiro snaps at him. Hiro then runs to his owner. The Maltese is avoiding the new puppy. Hiro is slightly larger than the new chihuahua. Maybe 1.5 it's size. | We need to get two dogs adjusted to each other. A new chihuahua puppy and a Maltese that has been living on his own for the last six years. |
t3_1a6zfj | relationships | Right time for my (f20) boyfriend (m20) to meet my parents? | My boyfriend and I are both 20 and in college. We've been dating for around 3 and 1/2 months. After somewhat recently making things official, my mom is pushing to meet the guy that she has been hearing so much about. I had previously brought up meeting my parents to him a month or so ago, and he seemed a little apprehensive. I got the sense the timing was off. So I let it drop, and didn't give it much thought for awhile.
Fast forward to about a week or so ago, when he asked me if I would be working this coming weekend. I told him that I wasn't sure, and asked why. He said that his parents would be in town, and asked me if I would like to meet them. As I wasn't planning on meeting them until the end of this summer (He had talked before about me coming with him when he went back home for a few days), this caught me completely off guard.
Now I'm starting to wonder if the timing is right? I mean, I'm not afraid of my parents disliking him (they've heard nothing but great things for months), but I'm just nervous. This is a big step for me, especially since I am so close to my family. And now, I've got to worry about meeting HIS parents. Which is absolutely terrifying to me.
So I guess my question, or multiple questions, is/are this: How/when did you meet your SO's parents? | My boyfriend asked me to meet his parents, and my parents are pressing me to bring him around to meet them too. I'm just nervous about doing it at the right time. Help? |
t3_2t8pix | relationships | Gf (f26) went thru my old emails and didn't like what she found. (26m) | My gf and I have been together for 3 years since 2012. Some bad moments, but mostly good times. Any who, I left my email account open on my girlfriends laptop and forgot to log out. She went thru my old emails, particularly my drafts and found drafts in 2010 writing lovey dovey stuff to my old ex gf including some dirty pics. I forgot all about those emails and don't even pay attention to the draft category. She said the relationship is tainted now,she doesn't trust me anymore, and wants to break up. She invaded my privacy, now her trust for me is broken because of something I wrote to my ex gf before I even met my current gf. I feel like this is irrational. I know it probably hurt her and she can't unsee what she's seen. It would hurt me too, but this is not grounds to potentially break up. She thinks I'm holding on to the past, which I frankly don't care about. I told her I forgot all about those emails and I just deleted them right now. Maybe I'm just careless cause I don't really look into my old emails that were 5 years ago. How can I make things better with her??? | My girlfriend went through my email and found old drafts in the year 2010 writing lovey dovey stuff to my ex-gf with dirty pictures. I did not even meet my current girlfriend yet at the time. |
t3_37x68c | relationships | Me [37M] with my [31 F] wife. My parents [mid 60s M/F] won't discuss past issues with us and it is destroying our relationship | They say it 'flies in the face of their beliefs and experiences' and that we should just let go of the past and move forward. We on the other hand need to hear that our issues are understood. We are more than willing to hear their issues too, of course. We just want to talk.
For us we cannot even have a relationship with them at this point unless they are willing to talk it out. Them not willing to do so hurts because it seems they don't care to be part of our lives and our two children's (2F and 6 mos F). | parents won't talk to me and my wife about some issues we have with our relationship even though it may mean the death of our relationship. |
t3_yikwn | AskReddit | What reoccurring dreams do you have? | After waking up from yet another long, detailed, reoccurring dream. I realized that I have quite a few dreams that I routinely have that occur almost exactly the same each time.
My most recent one involved heading to some locations under orders. It involved me and 4 other people (that changes depending on who I have been spending time with lately) and we traveled by car. For some reason the driver decided that we would not be going to our ordered destination but to somewhere else instead and gave no explanation as to why. As she begins to go the wrong direction, the person in the back right passenger seat begins to disappear. We all freaked out and forced the driver to go to the ordered destination. When she complied the individual reappeared but multiple alarms sounded from the area. Police and a military helicopter appeared. Shots began being fired at us, a few going through the car but missing us. We ended up deciding to drive into a deep ditch and flipping the car over to fake our deaths (for some reason, in this dream, there is no way to to check to see if someone is alive and there is no coroner work). For some reason my body was returned to my family, but the others were kept by the group we were investigating. I allowed a few members of my family to know I was alive and then began preparing to save the others. Then I woke up. I wish I could remember more of it but the dream amnesia that you get after waking up prevents me from remembering anymore of it. | Carrying out orders only to set off alarms and forced to fake our death. Preparing to save the others and then I woke up. |
t3_44s2rb | relationships | I'd (30M) like to help provide the perfect at home evening with great food, movies, and sex for my wife (31F) for Valentine's this weekend. Any advice or ideas would be greatly appreciated! | My wife and I have never been huge into the traditional version of Valentine's. Neither of us really cared for it in our younger years, and we've certainly never gone our of our way to do anything for it while we've been married for about eight years now.
She'd put in a request for a particular kind of chocolate if I got the chance this week, she doesn't really care at all other than that. We've agreed all along that we'd just have a drink or something and have a good night in. So here's the thing, I'd like to help arrange the *perfect* night in either this Friday or Saturday night.
I know that my wife in particular would enjoy a good dinner, a movie we both can agree on, and *great* sex somewhere in there. The issue is that I don't want it to be any other night in, as we're homebodies sometimes. I don't want it to be a run of the mill thing at all.
Here's where you can all come in. Ladies, I'd love your opinions on what the perfect night in for you has been in the past. What did your significant other do for you that you really loved or appreciated? Guys, what did you do that worked well for you?
What kinds of meals are great? What's a good recent movie that we can watch? How can I help spice things up in the bedroom and make it memorable? What else can I do I might not be thinking of? | I'm trying to research ideas for what the perfect night in for my wife and myself might contain, any and all advice and ideas would be greatly appreciated! |
t3_euu52 | AskReddit | Does anyone wanna help a guy beat the (cable) system? | So basically, I have a TiVo Premiere that accepts a CableCard M-Card. Time Warner Cable North Texas (Frisco-McKinney-Plano) won't just give me the thing to put it in. They want to charge me a service call and have a tech do it for me. I'm well aware that the installation is a simple process, involving nothing more than calling them and reading off some numbers.
Well, I have an STB from them just sitting around from before my TiVo replaced it, and it just so happens to have a CableCard in it. Easily accessible at that. If I put it in my TiVo it just complains about being unactivated. So now... | Does anyone know the number to call to activate a Time Warner Cable CableCard? Particularly my region specific one, if such a thing exists. |
t3_3azqk6 | relationships | Me [21] with my coworker [23 M] of a month, overheard him talking to another coworker about how he has plans to cheat on his long-term girlfriend. Advice? | Hi there, rather remain genderless on here in case my coworker browses this sub.
Yesterday at a company party, I overheard a conversation between two of my coworkers. One of the coworkers, was telling another one of my coworkers that his girlfriend was coming back into town and that he was looking to "cheat on her" before she came. He used those exact words. The coworker he was talking also look very uncomfortable. I will say though that there were drinks had and he seemed kind of drunk.
Now, I know it's none of my business and I really don't know the guy well at all, but I've been cheated on before and I can't help but myself in her shoes -- I would want to know if my boyfriend was saying shit like that. Should I tell her he said that? Or should I butt the fuck out?
Thank you.
__ | coworker was bragging about how he wanted to cheat on his girlfriend before she came back into town. Do I tell her? |
t3_31wypo | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 1 year, I don't know what to do anymore | So we have been together for a year now and I'm in a lot of confusion.
She has a lot of self-confidence issues related to her body. She thinks she's fat and her breast are small (they are and I like them that way, she doesn't understand), and this is also the reason she never even got naked in front of me. Sometimes I would send her pictures of hot girls (you know what we couples do,send random stuff) and everytime I did that her mood would plummet 1000km under sea. I thought the best solution to this is to give her time, and after a year she is still very shy.
So I asked her if she wanted to come to the gym with me (I've been going to the gym for an year now, I can say my body is pretty decent) and she exploded. In the span of 5 minutes she said the same thing more than 10 times: "if you don't like me this way then leave!".
What should I do? | On one side she hates her body but she doesn't want to do anything about it and tells me to leave if I don't like her that way. |
t3_2og5ri | relationships | I don't think I love her anymore...? | To open up I'm a 18 M and my SO is 16
As the title suggests, I don't think I'm in love with my girlfriend anymore.
First I'll start with background.
We've been dating for almost a year now and we both lived in a small town, she's two years younger than me and this is my first year of university. So I'm now spending most of my week in the city going to school while she is still back in high school. When I still lived in the small town I liked what we did (hung around watched movies, and had a lot of sexy time) but since I started going to the university I've gained a completely new set of interests.
I now love going out and meeting new people, love going to throw club and dancing, going out for drinks once a week and discussing school stuff, above all I love what the University scene offers me. But she doesn't like to do these sorts of things (mainly because she's not old enough, and won't be for nearly two years) and she's more of a stay at home and watch Netflix kind of girl anyway.
And to add to it all,I've started denying sex most times I see her because it doesn't appeal to me. I still find her attractive,but I don't share the sexual desire she does. Even the amount of times she tries to kiss me in a day almost causes me to have an outburst. I have a feeling this is simply because I came from a small town of around 5000 people and now go to a school where a building houses more than that. And from that I've leaned a lot about myself and what I like to do.
The main problem I see with it though is she's such a good person, and her family loves me, and my family loves having her around. That coupled with the fact I have to start spending less time with her because I need to focus on my studies a lot more (my GPA is not something I'm impressed with) and I feel like I'm not, or I cannot give her the attention she deserves, but I'm scared it will not only cause her hatred towards Me, but also sour feelings in my immediate family as well. | I don't relate to my girlfriend anymore and can't give her the attention she deserves. But I'm scared of hurting her as well as upsetting my family |
t3_4jbtsx | relationships | I [17/F] gave my number to a guy [18/M] who I'm not super close with and I'm afraid I did it so awkwardly I've messed things up beyond repair | This is an update to this post: where I talk about whether or not I should give my number to a guy who went on a couple dates with my close friend's sister.
I ended up deciding to give him my number, but since I'm shy I didn't directly hand it to him, I slipped it in a side pocket of his backpack. This was mistake number one. I spent two days making awkward eye contact with him, unsure of whether he saw it or not. (I know if someone did that to me I probably wouldn't notice it).
There were so many times I saw him through the day, but I was either busy or he was, so I couldn't get him alone to talk to him. This was stressing me out a bit too much for my own good, so I somewhat awkwardly told his friend what happened. He didn't really know what to tell me, but he said he'd try to drop some subtle hints that it was there. (Check your pockets dude).
It's been another day since that and still nothing, so at this point I've just come to accept that he saw it and he is so disinterested that he isn't even bothering to text me to say no. This is a bit of a blow because we genuinely seemed really flirty and I thought it was actually going somewhere. There's the slight possibility that he didn't see it and his friend didn't even tell him what happened, but I'm pretty pessimistic.
For the couple of days after I gave him my number it was after a major project so our class wasn't doing anything and we weren't sitting anywhere near eachother. But on Monday we're resuming class and we'll have to sit right next to eachother for 10 days and constantly interact and work together, and then after school lets out we'll still be in close proximity at some school events.
How do I act around him? Do I apologise? Do I ask him if he even saw the note, or is it too late for that? Do I ignore him as much as I can in that situation? Do I act like nothing happened? | I gave a guy my number, unsure if he didn't see it or if he is really disinterested. Have to interact with him constantly for the next couple weeks, how do I act? |
t3_11wnii | relationships | I [M26] have mixed feelings about meeting up with an ex-girlfriend[F25] of mine. | So, I had a girlfriend in high school. We initially met each other through a group of friends that met in the same place every morning. After a few years of knowing me she admitted she had feelings for me. I didn't know what to think of it at the time, so I figured dating her wasn't a bad idea. Don't get me wrong, I liked her, but it wasn't a deep attraction at the time. The time we spent together was a year, but then I graduated from high school. I went to college in another state, and we ended up breaking up near the end of my first year. It hurt, I admit, but I understood. I wasn't around.
One of my friends from high school dated her a couple years after that. He broke up with her 2 years ago, however. This doesn't add much to the complexity, but it's worth bringing up.
Another friend of mine recently gave me my ex's Facebook information again. I admit, I would like to meet with her again. We never broke up on truly negative terms. But for some reason, this time I'm really scared to talk to her. Should I attempt to re-establish contact with her again? Would that potentially screw things up with my other friend? It's been 8 years since I've last talked to her. I might be stressing over nothing, but what if she somehow still has feelings for me? It's a little obvious to me that I had developed feelings for her, or this wouldn't be so scary to me.
Thanks for the advice. | Is re-establishing contact with an ex-girlfriend of mine a good idea? Was not a bad break-up. |
t3_2jubr3 | personalfinance | I'm Pregnant. Should We Get Married for Financial Reasons? | I am 23 years old and I live with my boyfriend (age 25) of 4 years. He goes to school part time and works full time and I'm an actively drilling member of the Louisiana National Guard. We live below the poverty line in my state, but we've just been winging it and never tried to get government assistance. We recently found out that I'm pregnant and we're excited.
My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage in the past since we're in a long-term relationship and we had decided to wait until he graduate from college before we got engaged (about two and a half years from now). But now I'm wondering if it might be more financially advantageous to get married in the next 6-8 months. I know for a fact, adding a child to our situation is going to force us to need government assistance.
Bear in mind, I am not asking for your opinion from a moral standpoint, just financial. I don't give a damn about having a child out of wedlock. | Would it make more sense, financially (from a military and governmental standpoint), to get married before the baby is born, or after? |
t3_b58dx | AskReddit | SHE Just Isn't That Into You? | So the book "He's Just Not That Into You" is pretty popular. For those of you who haven't read it and can't figure it out from the title, it's basically a book telling women that men's actions aren't a mystery, that you'll know for sure whether a guy likes you, and if you're unsure the only reason is because hey stupid, He's Just Not That Into You. It's as much a commentary on the male mind as it is an advice book.
My question is, does the same thing apply to women? When women give mixed signals, when they appear appear unsure, or whatever, can a guy conclude "She's just not that into me?" Or do women operate differently, and actually be conflicted over whether she is attracted to a guy, or whether she wants to continue dating him, etc? | A guy likes you or not. If he does, you'll know it. If not, he's just not that into you. Can the same thing be said of women? |
t3_2b99a1 | relationship_advice | [19/m] Started talking to [19/f] She has a boyfriend. | I have just recently started talking to this girl that I met from a cookout. Since friday I have been hanging out exclusively with her and no one else. We have been having really personal conversations and hanging out. The more and more we hang out the more and more touchy-feely we get however she is always bringing up that she has a boyfriend but the problem is that she is in a long distance relationship. For her specifically she has told me that she does have trust issues and obviously long distance is really hard on trust. I do like her but I feel internally conflicted to continue to pursue her because of her current relationship status. One thing I would like to mention is that I absolutely will not do anything sexual with her before she breaks up with her boyfriend. As far as I know her current relationship isn't going to hot. | met a girl started hanging out, we get pretty touchy feely with each other but I feel conflicted because she has a long distance boyfriend. |
t3_ohslx | AskReddit | What's the best way to diffuse my anger? I can't help but dwell on a recent incident I went through... | Ive been dwelling on an incident for almost two days now that happened on this past Friday, and it's caused me to space out, become so angry I begin shaking, and kept me from sleeping last night as well as tonight. Here's the back story:
Okay, so I was riding my motorcycle through town, and I stopped in at the bank to grab some cash. Upon leaving,memos asshole looked right at me, and blew the stop sign and came within inches of me, and I almost dropped my Harley. Immediately began yelling, horn blasting. And the guy then slammed on the brakes. I got next to his window and yelled at him, told him he was an asshole and should pay more attention. This eventually turned into a road rage incident on the side of the road as he charged at me afterwards in the car. Long story short, he was some older black guy in his 60-70's, claimed his son was a police sergeant ( or something like that) and started calling me another dumb cracker on a bike and he should have ran me over. Regardless, there was no reasoning with him, and I couldn't tell if he was bluffing or not, so I just took off before he pulled a gun out or something ( I'm in south Florida, it's not so great here). I was so upset that I just flew home, parked the bike and just started yelling, punched through the drywall twice in my living room when I got into the house, and the adrenaline was flowing so much I couldn't stay still for an hour or so.
This isn't the first time I've dwelled on an incident that upset me, but this one was somewhat of a sign that I don't have a release for my anger. It's getting to a point I might have to seek help. The fact that dwell on situations that upset me, replay them in my head over and over again, physically break things and etc, make me feel like I have no control.
I want to know if anyone here on reddit has some tips and/or tricks to calm down and release without destruction. Some little routines or practices I can instill to help me came down when I'm all amped up and pissed off about something | Had a road rage incident on my motorcycle, been dwelling on it overly, feel that I may need help on releasing/controlling my anger in a healthy manner. Turning to reddit for possible answers before I seek help |
t3_1q5342 | relationships | My[18M] girlfriend[17F] of two months, decided she was too busy and we "needed a break." | I had been dating this girl for almost three months. Things had been going pretty great. We were not constantly at each others side, but I made sure to see her any chance I got, not an extremely high amount because of her involvement with the volleyball team.
Today after school she started the whole "don't get mad but..." where she proceeded to tell me she felt bad about not being able to spend time with me. She already knew that I didn't care how often I got to see her and that every time I did it was amazing. She didn't really seem to get that and just kept saying she felt bad about it and that we should take a break until things "calm down" for her.
My biggest issue with this is that she never really seemed that busy, with multiple times she said she was doing nothing on a Saturday night and then not seeming to get the hints that I wanted to see her. Even recently during the week it seemed more frequently she was doing nothing when I would text her. A month before this we had made a decision that during the week we would start having "study dates" and just sit around and do homework. She seems to have forgotten that.
A little while after she told me this and when I could put at least a few of my thoughts into a message i sent one to her. After that I turned my phone off, I guess a little afraid of what her response would be.
I guess what I'm looking for is someone else's point of view on this and any advice that can be given. | Girlfriend decides we "need a break" because she is to busy and feels bad about it, even though she doesn't seem busy. |
t3_3gmt7c | tifu | TIFU by taking a shower and forgetting the room key | So, this TIFU is happening has we speak. This week, my boyfriend is out of town and letting me stay in his room at his fraternity. Since the Greek community is a sketchy area, I decided to lock the door while I slept. I slept great throughout the night, and woke up about noon. Waking up so late, I felt the urge to rush to the bathroom- throwing on a towel and grabbing my toothbrush in order to get ready as fast as possible for work that I had in an hour. So I go pee, take a quick shower and go back to his room to get dressed. Here is where I realize my fuck up- the door is locked. In my rush, I forgot to both unlock the bedroom door, or grab the key.
It's okay, I'll just call the house manager, he can let me in, right?
I call the house manager, but of course, he is in class and won't be back until 3:30. His girlfriend though, has access to the spare keys, and she might be able to get me in. Great!
I call his girlfriend, only, she is at work until four. Again, I start work in about 20 minutes now.
So here I am, naked, with only a towel for warmth and decency, hiding in the laundry room trying to find someone to bring me a spare pair of clothes.
Oh, also, my boyfriend is at his grandmothers funeral, so I can't get ahold of him for help either. | Locked myself out of the bedroom with only a towel on. Start work in 20 minutes and no one can help for multiple hours. Am hiding in laundry room. |
t3_p0jsb | loseit | Tips for an individual with limited Gym time? | Hey Loseit - this is the first time I've posted here.
When I went to University I put on alot of weight. I was always chubby/broad but when I went to Uni I put on about 3-4 stone. I was 22 Stone at my heaviest.
I started to diet just before I graduated and kept it up after. After I graduated I didn't have work for around 8-9 months which meant I could go to the gym and focus on 100% on my new dieting.
I could take all the time in the world to make healthy lunches/dinners and I could go to the gym for nearly 2 hours a day, 4 times a week whenever I felt like it. I ended up going from 22st to just under 17st. I don't know if before/afters are mandatory or anything but I'll post them if asked.
Fast forward to now and I'm working 8-5 mon-fri. I have to use public transport so it takes me alot longer to get to work and back so I'm limited on time. If I go gym I'm not getting there until around 18:30, and arriving home from the gym at around 8pm - I then have to be asleep not much later as I have to go to bed to get up for the next day of work. I often find myself not bothering to go to the gym and my diet has slipped - I find my weight creeping up abit, not to a noticeable degree but I'm definitely about 6lbs heavier than I was before I started.
What I'd like is a great way to lose as much weight as I can in the time that I have at the gym - which is around 45mins. At the moment I just do 15mins of brisk walking on the treadmill followed by 25-35mins on the cross trainer. Is this optimal or should I perhaps do more machines for less time each or something? | Nowhere near as much time on my hands as before - want to get the most out of the gym as I can in the time I have - which isn't alot. |
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.