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t3_ujrwe | AskReddit | Are my parents too paranoid? Are your patents too paranoid? | Recently my house has been under attack by a small horde of tiny black bats. Stereotypically, my mother is fiercely terrified of these tiny mouse-like creatures. I, on the other hand, am perfectly okay with bats as I delight in creatures of all kinds.
Of course we can't leave these bats to fly through the house as my mother can't function with them in sight, and the poor creatures also don't belong here. But, now my father has taken to closing all of the doors in the house, and putting pieces of cloth under the doors. My father also disturbed my sleep at one in the morning to reassure himself that no bats had acquired quarters in my small dark room.
The question to be asked is, are my parents too paranoid about these bats? And what things are your parents paranoid about that drives you mad? | my parents are going off the wall about the number of bats we have had in our house. Waking me up in the middle of the night is unacceptable. |
t3_fs04u | relationship_advice | End of the night, kiss #1 denied, kiss #2 denied, then she says "I've been sitting here waiting for you to seduce me." Huh? | So last weekend I met a girl at a bar. We chatted, she invited me to smoke a bowl in her car (which is kinda normal here in LA), we made out pretty passionately, then we both went home. Seriously guys, good smoochin'. We were two puzzle pieces from the same box.
Last night, we go on our first date. We have dinner, go to a bar, seems like we're having a good time (conversation was effortless and shared eerily similar world views). All in all I'd say it was a great date.
I should mention: I didn't pay for dinner. We got burritos, I paid for mine, she paid for hers. Personally I feel like a chump paying in this day and age, however I think I saw her make a "cheap bastard" face so I just paid for drinks for the rest of the night (about $40). She insisted on paying for a round, which was nice of her.
So I drive her back to her apartment, we chat for a minute and I lean in for a kiss. Denied. Okay...we chat for a little bit more, she's getting kinda handsy, so I decide to go for a kiss again. Denied. Okay fine, she doesn't want to kiss. So we chat for a little while longer and she says "I've been sitting here waiting for you to seduce me." I have no idea what this means.
So I just kinda stare, perplexed, and she looks at me all doe-eyed as if to say "kiss me you fool." But I was just denied twice...I can't figure out what she wants. I feel stupid admitting this, but at that point I went in for a third kiss. We kissed, and it was just forced and dead at that point.
If you guys could help me understand, much appreciated. I'm sitting here at work totally frustrated, can't figure out what to make of this. | Date seems to be going well despite the fact that I didn't pay for dinner, tried to kiss her at the end of the night, denied, followed by "I've been sitting here waiting for you to seduce me." |
t3_162atp | relationships | I [15f] think I cheated on my boyfriend [17m] but don't know what to do from here? | I have always had an interest in BDSM which my boyfriend catered to sexually when I would tell him about specific things. Yet I was embarrassed by many of the things I was interested in. I decided to try talking to an online dom to talk and figure out what I may or may not be interested in by posting in /r/BDSMpersonals.
I didn't tell my boyfriend until he found the post and got very angry with me. I had gotten over 30 PMs from guys wanting to talk to me and it made him very angry especially because I replied to about 6 of them. I didn't give away any of my info to the guys and I only exchanged 2 messages tops with any of them.
He stormed out of the house and I chased after him and after a while of us both crying out in the cold and me confessing all of my sexual desires to him he carried me home and said he'd give me another chance.
When we got home he made me read all of the messages and posts repeatedly for about a half hour while he showed me pictures of us doing fun things together. This whole time I was crying and I believe this was his way of punishing me for what I had done.
After this he said he was done with me and hates me and he began sobbing profusely and collapsed and then left, still sobbing. We have been together for six months and have been hanging out almost everyday and we both knew everything was going pretty much perfectly.
I really don't know what's going on or what to do? Do you think he could ever trust me again? Did I really mess up that bad for us to break up? Is there anything I can do to remedy this? | I was going to talk to guys online about my BDSM sexual preferences because I thought my boyfriend might be disgusted by them. I wanted to get my preferences sorted out before I told him. Is it over? |
t3_ynlpp | personalfinance | Need to get car insurance, where do I start? | Hello /r/personalfinance,
I've been driving my parents 2007 Dodge Caliber while I'm in college and now they want me to buy it off them to save them money as I would be paying for my own car insurance.
This won't be at all of a problem because I am working, school is payed for through scholarships, and my apartment is covered by scholarships and by my grandpa.
If it matters here is a little back ground...
* Currently my parents are paying roughly $1000 a year for my insurance
* AAA auto insurance currently
* 2007 Dodge Caliber with 105,000 miles on it
* I'm 19, have been insured and driving since I was 15 and a half
* have gotten a discount on my insurance for good grades
* have never gotten a ticket
* 1 accident which I was not given a ticket for in December 2010 | Where do I start looking for car insurance? Is there any harm in getting quotes online? What companies would you recomend looking into? |
t3_yxo2v | running | Struggling with a shoe decision | So a little back story first: Started running in 7th grade. Got pretty decent in high school, sub 18 min 5k and around a 2:05 800m. Got some scholarships to some small school but decided to pursue a different path and gave up running when I graduated high school. I'm now a junior in college and starting to get back into running. Currently at about 25-30 miles a week. I do a mixture of long runs and interval training. Hoping to eventually be able to run a half marathon and maybe one day a full marathon. But in the meantime I'm just working on getting my 5k time down (around 25 min. now would like to get it below 21 or 20) and tackle a couple 10k races.
Now onto the shoe question. I pronate a little bit. I had a gate analysis at a local store and he said it was nothing serious. I am a heel striker (I think). I'm running in some crappy Nike shoes right now that leave my ankles, knees, and hips sore after every run. I tried on some Adidas Aegis 2 that were recommended and really liked them. However they are $125 at the store, and $107 on Zappos (prefer to buy at local store because they have a 30 day return policy if I realize I don't like them after a couple runs). A different local store has Kinvara 2's on sale for $80 and that price is much more appealing to me (broke college student, I really shouldn't be spending any money but I do need good running shoes bad). So should I just bite the bullet and get the Aegis? or should I be okay saving myself some money and getting the Kinvara? The guy who helped me at the running store said he wouldn't highly recommend the Kinvara but if I did get it I more than likely wouldn't have any issues with my running form. Or should I just say never-mind altogether and save myself quite a bit of money and keep running in my Nike;s? | trying to decide between Kinvara 2, Aegis 2, or saving myself some money and sticking with crappy Nike shoes I have now. |
t3_36ivvl | tifu | TIFU by accidentally stepping on a termite nest while recovering a ball from a ruined building. | So, I'm having a little holiday at my uncle's. I was playing in the backyard with my little cousin when he "accidentally" threw a ball we were tossing around into an old, ruined half-wooden half-cement building that used to be a pigsty back when my grandparents were living there. I squeezed through a small opening and started to look around. I found the brightly colored ball lying in a corner and bravely started to make my way there. The building was basically cement walls + wooden ceileing, and it was also used as a storage for a while before it fell over, so I had to make my way through huge wooden planks and many other random things including old jam-jars etc. I finally arived and reached for the ball, when I tripped and fell back, gripping to the wall luckily. I was sure I broke a piece of old wood but to my horror I saw I was standing knee-deep in something that looked like a wasp nest. Then I realised I'm being swarmed by termites. I ran in horror, trying to go out of the building all while furiously trying to shake them of, fell a dozen times but finally managed to get out. I turned on the garden hose, took off my pants and uderpants and just splashed myself in ice-cold water, not giving a fuck that there is my cousin watching me in shock... | Tried to retrieve a ball from an old building, stepped into a termite nest and my cousin saw me naked because I was to shocked and terrified to think clearly. |
t3_4gh80v | relationships | Me [23F] potentially dating [27 M] after knowing each other two weeks: after a night of drinks, he shared with me how he lost his virginity and it worries me... | I have been talking to this really sweet guy for a couple weeks now. We met up a few times and I would really like to get to know him better: he is kind, chivalrous, funny, and we have great conversation together. One night we met for drinks and we both began to let our "walls" down in a sense and had some deeper conversation.
We began to talk about previous relationships which gave me quite a bit of insight. He shared (i'm sure through the help of booze) that he lost his virginity at 22 years old after being with a 46 year old woman in a hot tub.
I told him that I appreciated that he was open and honest, and he told me it was something that he regrets. I haven't stopped thinking about it since he told me because it makes me feel really weird. Long story short: is this something really that strange? Should this be a deal breaker? | Is it strange that the guy I am seeing lost his virginity with a 46 year old woman in a hot tub? He openly regrets it, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. |
t3_1cq28m | relationships | He [23M] doesn't want to "label" what he has with me [22F] as "a relationship." | We have been dating for a month but have known each other for a long time. We are in a weird grey area of "seeing each other" at the moment, which is more than fine with me, for now...
However, he told me he doesn't think that if things get more serious that he wants to be in a relationship with me. Guys I've dated before in the past have usually initiated the "define the relationship" talk and told me they wanted to be exclusive and serious. While I don't care about being official in terms of what others think, I do care that someone I have serious feelings for may prefer to keep being "single" and that I won't be considered a significant other or a girlfriend.
Is this unwarranted concern? I feel like it could be a red flag that he wants to screw around or keep his options open, but then again I know him well and he doesn't date a lot and is not a ladies' man. I've never dated anyone who is so reluctant to be in a relationship with someone they have feelings for. | Insecure about him not ever wanting to be my SO, even though we like each other a lot. Should I feel weird about a man not desiring to be in a relationship with me even if things are really serious between us? |
t3_e26jh | AskReddit | Reddit, last week I got what I thought was random Halloween text. | "It said I'm sorry for everything, I miss you." I didn't know whose number it was so I just dismissed it. (My blackberry lost all my contacts about 6 months ago.) Now I have come to find out that text was in fact from a girl that dumped me via google chat almost a year ago. (Apparently a mutual friend was with her when she sent it). Apparently several times over the last 6 months she has been asking said friend about me and telling her she misses me and what a nice guy I was. And apparently she finally had the courage last week to text me. (which i think was aided by alcohol from a Halloween party, text received at 2 am.). Another thing, we only dated for 2 months, which is why I'm a little surprised at her missing me.
Anyways, I was wondering what you think my response should be if any. I'm not currently in a relationship so anything I send isn't an issue. | Girl I dated over a year ago, who dumped me sent me a text last week saying she misses me. (collaborated with a mutual friend) What should I do? |
t3_umy20 | AskReddit | Boyfriend wants a "bit more" | Boyfriend & I had been taking about recently about "hypothetical" open relationship. It was just taking about how a couple would do it.. nothing to it.
He asked me yesterday, if I had any thoughts on this conversation we had. I told him, I am positive I don't want one.. though he wants a "bit more" in the relationship - possibly & open relationship or a threesome.
We had a big talk last night talking about this. We do not want to break up, and still want this relationship, but he feels that he needs to get this off his chest.
I want him to be happy, but I have 2 options
1)Him being able to go out, (emotionless, meaningless) sex with a random. & There are strick rules e.g: Safe sex, Random 1 night stand, no exchanging numbers, STD/STI checks for him. etc Though It would be on occassion only
2)We agree to have a threesome.
I don't mind either one of those, both options I get something out of it (more romantic time together, him putting more effort in to make me not feel left out, etc). It also gives me the chance to trust him, and him to trust me as I won't sleep with anyone. He just needs to get it out of his system.
What would you do? | Boyfriend wants a "bit more" (wants to go out and sleep with a random). Or we have a threesome. I don't know what to do, or what to choose. |
t3_392c7k | relationships | My [28F] two aunts [55F] are fighting and my mom [57F] is asking me for advice on going to a party hosted by one. | Two of my aunts, we'll call them Jane [55F] and Sally [55F] have been in a fight for years. I'm much closer to Sally so I've only heard parts of it her and since I don't know the whole story let's just say that Jane accused Sally of saying something that she didn't and then Jane started telling the rest of the family different things about Sally. Sally didn't even realize there was a problem until another family member mentioned it and when she tried to call Jane about it they got into a huge fight. I don't know if they've talked since then but my cousin (Sally's daughter) invited Jane and her whole family to her wedding and none of them went. This hurt my cousin a lot because they used to be close.
Now, Jane is having a party for her adult daughter and my mom is invited. Sally and her family were not invited. My mom wants to talk to me tonight about whether she should go or not. She said she heard more of the story and the fight is worse than she thought (and basically Jane is the one totally to blame from what she has heard). My mom now feels like if she goes to the party she will be supporting Jane's decision to exclude Sally. But I'm afraid that if she doesn't go she will be doing the same thing to Jane's daughter that Jane had done to Sally's daughter, not going to an event for her niece because of something going on with the parents. I don't know what advice to give her.
For the record, I do believe that Jane is wrong for completely cutting out Sally and her family. There have been some rough times when I would have thought she would have found a way to set aside issues and put family first but that hasn't happened. I just don't know how bad this new information my mom's going to tell me about tonight has to be before I'd feel like it'd be right for her to decline seeing Jane's family. Also, although this instance doesn't really involve me, I know that if my mom declines to go and tells Jane why, I will probably be grouped into this and might not be invited to future things as well. | My two aunts have been in a fight for years. My mom was invited to a party at one of their houses but is asking me for advice on whether she should go or not. I don't know what to tell her. |
t3_zl5bl | relationships | Dating for 2.5 months, told her I loved her now and getting weird vibes (26M/23F) | Here is the story, I have been dating this great girl for about 2.5 months. Before dating, we were very close/best friends for a year. This week, I began to realize that not only did I think she was amazing, but also that I loved her. I thought about whether I should tell her. I haven't told anyone the L word in the past. But I figured because I have known her for a relatively long period of time, my emotions were legit and I actually thought she would feel the same way about me.
But boy was I wrong. She paused, said I love you back. But since then she has been a bit different. She always used to tell me that she thought she cared more about me, than me towards her (I'm usually the hard to get sort). But things have flipped around all of sudden, she's been more detached and I seem to care more about her than she does about me. Today, she told me she thinks we are moving too fast and it makes her nervous.
I feel a bit off-put by this. I know we've only been dating for 2.5 months, but we were actually best of friends before this (kind of grey zone in fact, talk on the phone every night, she'd give me thinly veiled drunken booty calls etc). If her feathers were rustled by this after we've been so close for 14 months, what does it mean? The little part of my brain that feels is kind of thinking she really believes "you are fun to date, but I don't consider you longterm material". It's not like I am remotely thinking about anything really serious like moving in or marriage, and she knows that.
Anyways, I feel kind of bummed. It's not what I expected from her and I feel sort of mislead.
Thoughts? | (26M/23F) Best friends for a year, dating for 2.5 months, told I loved her and became more detached and announced that things are moving too quickly, it is making her nervous. |
t3_ccqin | AskReddit | How do I avoid a collections request (ultimately from Paypal)? | I did some development work for a client - the overall estimate was $1300, so I invoiced the client for a 50% retainer to start development, he paid it and I started work.
I clearly stated to the client that I was pretty busy and it would take (what I thought) a longer time than necessary to complete his project. The client was adamant about me doing the work and that the timeline was no problem.
Fast-forward 30'ish days, the project is complete, I send him the code and invoice him for the remaining $650 owed. I am greeted with a dispute resolution notice from Paypal, as opposed to $650 and a "Thanks!" I am expecting.
We both submit our evidence to Paypal, I include the emails where I delivered the code, the original contract, all of it. The client then runs a charge-back on his credit card, so Paypal says rather than they dispute it, the guy's bank will make the final decision.
I hear nothing for 4-months, my Paypal account is sitting at $-650 and I get a phone call from a "collections agency." I tell them to only correspond with me via mail, explain the situation to them, and that I understand it's not their fault - they merely purchased the debt from Paypal, to which I was told "well, no, it's still Paypal's debt we just work with them to get things taken care of, before it goes to collections."
2 months later (yesterday), I get a letter in the mail regarding this issue, asking me to make payment arrangements.
What are my choices here? Do I just payup? Ignore it and take the ding on my credit report?
Unfortunately, I no longer live in California (where I was when this all started) and the contract stated all legal battle would be handled in my old county (I'm in Georgia now). Hiring a lawyer to handle it for me isn't worth the $1300, much less the $650 in collections. | Received $650 retainer for development, client received code, then charge-backed the retainer. I'm shorted $1300 and in collection for $650 of that. |
t3_4k4iaf | relationships | My[35F] husband[37M] of 3 years shouted at me on front of co-worker[29F]. | I work not far away from our apartment. After work I was going out with a friends but I have forgotten my credit card so on the way me and my friend went to my apartment to pick it up.
When we got to the apartment we went straight to the kitchen I could hear my husband cooking something. It turned out he was there just in his underwear making himself a sandwich while bath was running. He became very angry with me and had a huge go for not warning him I have company. I grabbed my money and left with friend but it ruined my whole night. He haven't spoken to me when I came back from night out and instead stayed up watching TV and fallen asleep on the sofa.
He refuses to apologize for making me look bad on front of my friend and is still grumpy with me. | Husband went crazy on front of friend for something minor, how do I make him realize how it made me feel? |
t3_ucmnu | Advice | Small claims court action?? (Apartment issues) | A little background:
In May of 2011 I moved into an apartment with 3 animals, 2 dogs and 1 cat. The apartment leasing office assured this would be OK and just as with any apartment, any damages occurred during my duration would be paid for by me. I was fine with this. This May I got a job offer a few towns over and took the offer. In early May when I moved out we went through the walk through and everything seemed fine. I got a letter about a week ago stating that they were not able to get rid of the smell of the animals in the apartment (no mention of it when we did the walk through) and they had tried to get a carpet cleaning business to remove the smells as well, but to no prevail.
Today I got an invoice from the apartments stating that I would have to pay close to $1000 for new carpeting, but when looking at the invoice date, it has a date of early January. What I'm getting from this is, that there were planning on replacing the carpets either way and now they want me to foot the bill for it.
Has anyone gone through this before? Is it legal? I'm thinking of taking them to small claims court for the bill since they had already bought the carpet before I even gave notice that I would be moving. Any advice would be awesome! Thanks Reddit! | Moved out of my apartment in May, they want me to pay for the carpeting bill. Carpet was purchased in January, they are trying to get me to pay for the bill. |
t3_3di5uv | relationships | Me [30F] with my Husband [30M] 6 years, arguing about training dog | Had the weirdest argument with my husband last night. After our dog eats dinner, we throw him in the back yard to go potty. Ever since we moved into the place we're in now, where we have our own little back yard, we've done it. I usually say "backyard!" when he is licking his bowl clean, and he heads that way (my dog is an old slow dude, imagine snuffleupagus shuffling) because I always use the cue "backyard" when I want him to go there.
My husband just opens the door and the dog will generally wander around the room, and sometimes go out there, but also sometimes he will lay down, and then get up and want to go out later, because he has a pavlovian potty response to dinner.
Last night, husband opens the door, dog wanders around the room, husband seems annoyed that dog didn't just go out as soon as the door opened. I say "The training works better if we are both consistent with it," and husband tells me he doesn't want to have "that kind of relationship" with the dog. He starts getting worked up so we put a pin in it to discuss today over dinner when we are both more calm.
Really, though, should I just drop this? The dog complies with me when I use the command (actually, almost any command, I'm the one that trained the dog to sit for food, taught him his name, taught him lay and play dead, taught him to put himself to "bed" upstairs in our room). Husband using commands will probably reinforce it better but doesn't appear to be a detriment to me.
What is a detriment -- other times of day, when husband goes out the back door to his workshop, dog will hear the door and take THAT as a cue, and want to go out there, just because. He isn't going potty, he's just sunning himself. This annoys husband greatly. | My husband and I disagree on dog training methods/philosophies. Should I just accept this or should we negotiate to be on the same page? |
t3_53cknq | relationships | I [20F] found out that my mom [50sF] had an affair with who I've always thought is my uncle [50sM], he might actually be my dad. | So this is pretty insane to me. Definitely very far off from anything I ever thought was possible in my family. Up until the past month, I thought the makeup of my immediate family was as follows- my big sister [27F], my big brother [25M], my mom and my dad [50sM]. All nuclear, very normal, no problems except for my parents almost divorcing a few years ago. Little did I know, this was because my dad found out my mom slept with his younger brother and I came along. I've always been told I was an unplanned pregnancy, but no one ever mentioned to me that I was possibly the illegitimate child of my uncle.
Apparently, they've never done a paternity test because as far as m parents are concerned, I belong to my dad. My brother and sister found out very recently as well. My parents decided I was old enough to know I guess?
I've always had a lot of issues with my mom, my dad's always been there for me. They say nothing will change but I'm going out of my mind. I don't want to recognize someone else as my dad. My uncle's a great guy, he's successful, he's always been amazing to me, he's married to my aunt and they have three kids together F[14], F[20] and M[21] who I love. I know my cousins don't know but my aunt does. She's never treated me as anything but her niece that she loves. Obviously, everyone in my family is handling this in the best way they can and treating me fairly but I just feel so displaced. How do I continue being a part of my family knowing I'm halfway in between my siblings and my cousins, getting to feel like I belong anywhere? I'm sorry if this is scrambled, I'm just very confused and upset right now. | My mom and my "dad's" brother had an affair 20 years ago, turns out it's most likely that I'm my actually my uncle's kid, where do I go from here? |
t3_30bt2b | relationships | I [35M] have trouble talking in groups and it's affecting my work life | I am good at my job. It is a very high stress job that is intense all day from when I start to when I clock out. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest all day and it demands a lot psychologically to keep a level head.
I am okay with that right now but I am having one problem. I find it impossible to chat socially in my group at break time. We sit at a round table and there are often around 6 to 8 of us. I sit most of the time completely quiet while the rest of them talk. I smile and enjoy the conversations but I never say anything and I wish that I could.
I just go blank and can't think of anything valuable to say. I live a different life to them and am more into geeky tech type things while they talk about sports and celebrities and current affairs. I feel as though my manager while he might think I am a good worker might think I am not as outgoing and confident as I came across in the interview.
I am content enough but I sometimes thinik professionally it would be wise to be a more assuming person. When it comes to work I am okay but when it comes to idle chitchat I am a disaster. I am okay talking to most of these people on a one to one level but in a group I am mute.
Also I find it harder to talk to people I believe to be more powerful than me. For any of the psychologists out there... yes I have the same issue talking to my father.
Have any of you overcome such a paralysis like this before? | I am quite content emotionally to be silent but think professionally I would be better off being socially outspoken and confident in work however I turn into a social mute in groups. Hoping to hear from people who were like this but overcame it. |
t3_3xbnhs | relationships | Small update: Me [30F] with my husband [30M], why we are still together | Original post:
Summary of older posts: I only posted negative things and even considering "divorce" over disliking my husband's relatives. I can't stand them for various reasons, but I really love him.
I don't want to be "that naggy wife" over my dislike of his relatives.
My husband and I click on all levels, just not the one regarding boundaries / his family. I don't know if this is going to affect our lives in the future, but I really love him and want to make this work.
So, he called from work to ask me if I wanted to go on a date on Saturday, around 1am, to take me on a cinema date. He came home, let me order from my favourite pizza delivery service, and we had a nice evening. (He is not a fan of that movie franchise and he hates fast food)
He told me that we could cancel the hotel rooms if I wanted, and that I shouldn't let his family issues get under my skin. And that we should focus on our life together.
So, yeah, you marry into a family, and you can't really choose who your inlaws will be. I don't want to give up my husband because I think his family is weird/disgusting. He is the best husband in the world, and I really want to work on my resentment towards his family members. | I love my husband dearly, thought about divorce because I can't stand his relatives, but want to work on myself. |
t3_20ph2y | Dogtraining | Hi there, I have a 19 month old unknown breed dog.He has some behavior problems. | For now i would just like to combat this issue; My dog 'K' will OPEN the door to the backyard at his own will (It can be opened by flicking the automatic lock) Which he must have done by accident but now has realized he can do it when he wants.
I try to correct him, when he enters the house like this i tell him "No" and "Out" in a stern manner,yet he still does this almost daily and multiple times a day,i have tried taking his food/toys away from him and i have also tried 'tapping' his nose.
How do i stop and prevent him doing this? I know i can fully lock the door,but it seems whenver i forget,he will open it. Nothing i can come up with can stop him as i'm not always there to 100% supervise him. | How do i convey to my dog that it is NOT okay to open the patio door and enter the house as he wishes. |
t3_2ipk3r | relationships | Girl I like [18/F] is telling people she's got a boyfriend but tells me [18/M] that she's single | Well, couple of nights ago, got with this girl (that means kissing in the UK) after a great chat of about 2 hours - in which she explained how she broke up with her boyfriend before uni started and left him in Spain as she was coming to the UK to study. Now to be clear, I made it wonderfully clear - through stories of past girlfriends etc that I **detest** cheating.
So we kiss. The next day we text a bit, but don't get to see each other much (we're at uni together) except for in the evening where she is telling a group of mostly guys that she has a boyfriend, I've been unable to get her alone to ask and her phone is lost now so can't text her asking. How do I approach asking her if she duped me or them - and what does it mean? | How do I approach asking a girl if she has a boyfriend when she's lied about it to either me or everyone else? |
t3_49hfbd | relationships | I [26 M] have been dating a girl [24 F] for about six weeks. We agreed to be exclusive about 2 and a half weeks ago... what about calling her my girlfriend? | I met a girl through Tinder about six weeks ago, and since then we've been on 10 dates over the last 6 weeks. I asked her about being exclusive a little over two weeks ago and she agreed. We did not talk about calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend however, so I'm not totally sure what I'm supposed to do with regards to that.
I understand many people would say it's childish to worry about it and that it doesn't matter, but recently there have been several situations in which I've been unsure how to respond. For instance, I was hanging out with some friends and one of them happened to mention that this girl and I are now exclusive, to which another friend responded "oh so is she your girlfriend now?" I hesitated for a second because I realized that I wouldn't want to go around calling her my girlfriend if she wasn't ready for that, but I also didn't want to give the impression to my friends that I'm unsure of my feelings about her. I ended up reiterating that we were exclusive and said that we hadn't talked about labels though, to which my friend responded "oh I didn't know there was a difference."
So what of it? Should I talk to this girl about calling each other girlfriend/boyfriend? If so how should I do it? Is it perhaps still too soon?
Another thing that may be worth mentioning is that about a week before we became exclusive, she told me about how when she was waiting for the subway one day, some random guy kept harassing her telling her "you need a boyfriend." Might have been just something that happened, or maybe it was a hint? | Recently became exclusive with a girl and I'm wondering whether I should now talk to her about calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. I realize it's just a label, but people have asked about it... |
t3_2509z8 | relationships | I [20F] am struggling with jealousy over my SO's [22M] drastically less demanding lifestyle | Long time lurker, First time posting!
My SO and I have been dating about a year and a half so far and both attend the same university. His major is known at the "party" major since it is known to be pretty undemanding in terms of coursework while mine is so extremely vigorous. I am a pre-veterinary student in my third year and must maintain a top GPA despite the countless chemistry, physiology, and physics requirements in order to even get the chance of being accepted into a veterinary school.
I have always struggled with keeping myself from scoffing at his overwhelmingly easier schedule when he stresses out about it, but have so far done well keeping my thoughts to myself and try to help him best I can. I can't help but feel like he doesn't even understand what it means to have to put an excruciating amount of effort into something and still not reach a goal.
I am having increasing trouble with withholding my jealousy this quarter. The stress is mounting higher and higher while I try to figure out veterinary school and am constantly dealing with a heavy, demanding course load with absolutely no room for error and I fear that my feelings about his easier life will come out.
I don't want to feel so jealous and almost resentful that he chose such an easy major while I set such high goals for myself. The thing is that he works so hard at what he has to do and even has a great job lined up for next year that he got all by himself. I'm so proud of him and he is so supportive of me which makes me feel horrible for resenting him. How do I stop the buildup of these feelings and be a proud of his accomplishments instead of comparing them to mine and seeing them as something lesser? | My SO's life feels so much easier than mine which makes me jealous and resentful. Not sure what to do with those feelings. |
t3_2ia5pp | loseit | [SV] My scale didn't recognize me today | I've been working out for the last two months, strength training 3 times a week and keeping a strict diary of my workouts. Thing is I was only seeing changes in muscle growth and I still had a beer gut and just wasn't losing fat. After lurking loseit I decided to get a Withings scale and track my eating habits to the T. Doing this I found where I could cut each day and I broke my plateau today by losing lbs this week! The Withing scale lets multiple people create accounts, so my gf uses it as well. I weigh myself only on Saturday mornings and this week it wasn't sure if it was me or my gf, I had to choose! Thanks for the motivation and what you do here. | My Withings scale didn't know it was me and made me tell it if it was me or my gf on the scale since I had broke my plateau. |
t3_3ytorl | relationships | My [F24] boyfriend's [M20] mother told him to be careful of me because all that Latinas want is "to get married and have lots of babies" | Basically my boyfriends mom told him to "be careful of those Latina girls, all they want to do is get married and have lots babies". She didn't say it in a joking way, she was completely serious.
Now, this shocked me. It shocked me because she knows I am in a very intensive engineering program, along with her son, so obviously I am not all about "getting married and having babies". She has since made a few comments which point to the fact that she doesn't like me. My boyfriend tells me that she's never liked any of his girlfriends and has always acted like this towards them. He has told me that she has tried to sabotage every relationship he's ever been in.
Now today I was talking with my mom and made the mistake of mentioning what his mom said (about getting married and having kids) and my mom was LIVID. She was incredibly angry that she would make such a comment stereotyping all Latina women. Specially because my mom is very career driven, and she has always taught me that I need to have my own career and that I need to be independent and not rely on anyone else except myself.
What my boyfriends mom said was a huge slap in the face, considering how my mom has raised me. I don't want this to ruin my relationship with my mom or my boyfriend, does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in a similar situation? Thank you! | Boyfriends mom said some racist comments about me, I told my mom about said comments, don't want to ruin any relationships over this. |
t3_ui37t | AskReddit | What has been your worst "it's not what it looks like" moment? | I was waiting on a flight home and a semi intoxicated woman ( hot, young) hands me a drink that another man bought for her ,she was holding two drinks. We had to board and the guy left, so she thought I could drink it quickly before boarding since we can't take the alcoholic drinks on the flight. "sure" , why not".
She sat next to me on the Southwest flight and was chatting the whole time about her boyfriend and shit ( I'm married btw). Just as we are planning to land she's primping and spraying her neck with perfume, she looked at me then sprayed me too.
The awkward shocked look I gave her didn't register for a second or so. I smelled like this woman now!
She apologized and rushed off the plane as soon as we landed.
I was in a panic since I now smelled like this woman and the family was coming to pick me up. I did what I could in the bathroom and got in the car when they pulled up.
My wife immediately looked at me and just stared. No bueno.
I explained when we got home how it was all a innocent mistake. | a hot drunk chic sprayed me with her perfume by accident on a plane home and I had to explain the the missus it wasn't what it looked like. |
t3_4q9c4u | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [22 F] of 5 months fought about how I have to sleep with the TV on and she can't stand it. | I have always, since I was a kid, had to sleep with the TV on in the background. My mind races at night and I can't stand not having something to focus my mind on while I fall asleep. I start focusing on my breathing, thinking worst-case scenarios, etc.
My girlfriend and I recently moved to Florida together from Georgia. It is our first time living together. Apparently, she cannot sleep with the TV on and waits until I fall asleep to turn it off and then goes to sleep.
Last night, I fell asleep on the couch. She wakes me up and tells me to come to bed. I go to bed and turn the TV on. She says not to and that it gives her a headache and that she's tired and wants to sleep. I say I can't sleep without it. She gets up to go sleep on the couch. Obviously, I am not going to make her sleep on the couch so I turn it off. It takes me forever to fall asleep and I am tired this morning.
Ironically, she complained this morning about me taking her blanket in my sleep and how she couldn't sleep last night because of it.
How do I compromise on this? | I sleep with TV on, girlfriend can't stand it, I can't sleep without it, we share a room. |
t3_1t1sit | relationships | I [19M] am in a huge fight with my dad [51M] and I'm giving him the silent treatment. It's been 2 weeks. There's a twist though.. | An argument broke out between the two of us yesterday. I was studying for finals, he was returning home from work. Once he enters the kitchen, he starts yelling and scolding me for not doing the dishes.
Except the problem was, I had already done the dishes before he came home from work. There was one single cup on the counter top. I asked him if it was just the one cup that was the problem and he exclaimed no, it was all the dishes that he "had just rewashed." He was in the house at this point, for maybe 2 minutes. There's absolutely no way that he could have washed the dishes and dried them off in that time..silently.. and arranged them in the exact order that I placed them.
Here's where it gets interesting. I move him to the side to wash the cup. He gets terribly angry. Screaming. Pulls out a **knife** and threatens me. He's pacing the kitchen. What do I do? I laugh. It's absurd. He threatened to kill me because I politely pushed him to the side. | My dad lies about doing the dishes himself and he pulls out a knife afterwards. I'm giving him the silent treatment and my other family members don't want to do anything. |
t3_2as4sp | relationships | She says [22 F] is not ready for relationship after 2 months of dating me [27, M] | I met my dream girl through mutual friends 2 months ago during a hike. We hit it off tremendously and got close fast. Only thing was that she was hesitant because she was fresh off a long term relationship that had ended 1 month prior. We tried to take things slow because of her situation, but things progressed quickly. We got attached. We'd text and talk on the phone everyday and see each other 3-4 times a week, partially due to all the mutual friends we have.
The problems started arising when we'd get intimate. She would freak out and say we were moving to fast and that she can't get physical with somebody so soon after breaking up with her ex, but she enjoyed spending time with me. So we attempted taking it slower, but it didn't work and she would always get overwhelmed the day after getting intimate and blow up on me. So after the 3rd or 4th time this happened we agreed to be friends. What sucks is that we both know we had a good connection, had a lot of similar interests and viewpoints, and if the timing wasn't off we'd be together. I am okay with giving her space, but I can't guarantee sticking around for when she is ready.
How am I supposed to handle this situation? It has been two weeks and I'll still see her at social functions with our other friends. I'm still into her, but I can feel that our connection is gone and things are a bit awkward now. We still have great conversations and talk regularly, but I can't help to think that keeping her close will do more damage and blow my chances completely in the future. The hardest part is that we run in the same social circles and I will be seeing her occasionally either way. Should I be cutting her off or keep her close? What is my better move? I really do think I have a future with her, but really do not know what the better approach is. | Met my dream girl and hit it off on a level I had never felt. She decided she was not ready for a serious relationship bc of recent breakup and now were just friends. What do i do? |
t3_3eob38 | relationships | My [22f] girlfriend pays her little sisters 100$ phone bill every month when we can barely pay our own bills. She refuses to bring it up to her parents. [UPDATE] | Original post:
So we talked it out, she brought it up with her mom.
Her mother said she is going to ~~try to get~~ is getting a part-time job cleaning houses to pay the phone bill and other things for my gf's little sister. Once the contract is up she is going to switch to my plan. For the first month we still have to pay 50$ of it but then we will only have to worry about our bills. :)
I think the best advice I received was to bring it up from a place of love. I care about her and her family, but want to make sure ours can thrive too. Putting a stop on these kinds of things now is going to make it a lot easier down the line. I don't mind driving her sister places, or letting her spend the night every now and then, or taking her to a movie with us. These are things I feel like we can do to keep the relationship between her and her sister together without taking on the financial burden.
thank you guys, all the advice was amazing. I am going to start utilizing this sub more. | Gf's Mom offered to start (attempting) to pay her younger sister's bill. Definitely a start in the right direction. |
t3_4mmm41 | tifu | TIFU by trying to Kung fu kick over some chairs | This actually happened a couple years ago in 7th grade.
So we had this chill teacher who would let us chill in her class room during recess if we didn't wanna head out. Well I live in Arizona so it would always get extremely hot outside and me and three of my friends just decided to stay in class and play catch in there, no one else really came in. Well one day the teacher left to go to the bathroom and once the door shut a lightbulb in my brain went off. I'm going jump off a chair do a sweet karate kick and land my feet in another chair. I don't know what made me think to do it but with the help of my friends I made a line chairs only about 5 long. Anyways i do a running sprint toward the chair to get more airtime and once I put my foot on the chair it moved throwing me off balance. I thought maybe I can recover so I jumped off of it, threw my leg in the air like they do in the karate moves except I didn't move my other leg and it caught the edge of the chair making me lunge forward face first in the middle of some chairs. I put my arms out to dampen my fall, my arms fall in between two chair I hit the ground absorbing all the shock with my left arm then as I was falling my face hit the seat part of the chair giving me a bloody nose. My teacher Walked back in at that moment to see me lying on the floor chairs around me, blood coming out of my nose, and my friend surrounding me asking if I was okay.
I ended up breaking my ulna in 3 places and having to wear a cast for a long time and got my teacher in trouble, we couldn't chill in there for recess anymore and also have a tiny scar on my nose . | tried to karate kick over some chairs and ended up breaking my wrist in 3 places and getting a small scar on my nose |
t3_1uo6i4 | relationships | I [21 M] broke up with my [18 M] boyfriend of a couple months, and I'm worried that I/he might spiral | I broke up with my boyfriend today. I love him, he's an incredible guy who I'm glad I met but it wasn't working out. We were just too different. He resisted at first but eventually realised that I'd made up my mind. It was hard to gauge how he was really taking it as it wasn't done face to face.
In all honesty I don't think I could have done it face to face. I've broke up with guys in the past, but one look at his little face and I know I would have changed my mind.
The relationship was great, it was just inevitably headed down a road that I have been down many times, and I wasn't prepared to go through that again, so I ended it on a high note, before things turned sour.
Anyway, I've had severe depression for which I have been medicated in the past, and my boyfriend (now ex, I guess) is currently depressed, and he was pretty bad at one point. Normally I would want to help him through anything but obviously that isn't an option as it's best I keep my distance for now, and I'm worried that when it hits me I'll spiral too. | Any advice on how to stop depressed folk from spiraling after a break up, and how I can help stop him from spiraling from a distance? |
t3_3ydov4 | tifu | TIFU by being a bad wingman | Myself and a good mate are very similar but by no means are related in anyway. In fact, we are so similar that people have given us a name to reference us both, he is #1 and I am #2. Anyway my poor old mate hasn't had the best luck with ladies. Never had a girlfriend and still has those poor old V plates (despite having chances to lose them (never drink to much kids)).
Anyway, a girl that i was good friends with in highschool (never hooked up/dated/anything with her but still talk) posted a photo about asking for a new years kiss. Now I live with this guy and look out for him obviously cause he is lonely and what not. When I saw the post I inboxed her straight away, trying to starting maybe lining my mate up, get them to the same party and I don't know, hoping something happens. Anyway about half an hour past by and look, I am pretty confident that this is going well. Like she is using flirty emojis about the whole context, seems half interested and I thought I'd worked some absolute magic.
However, upon re-reading all the messages as I wasn't really paying that much attention (Cricket was on), I realised my fuck up. The girl had thought I was talking about hooking up with me and not an actual "mate" the entire time! Every single question she asked about this "mate" I was going to hook her up with, the correct answer for him without obviously giving his name was also the correct answer for me. example: she goes "did i go to school with this guy?" Now she went to his highschool with him for a bit and then moved to my school and finished up there.
Now she went to bed and sent me a few kiss emojis and look. I know I've fucked up. I was meant to be lining up my mate who needs a NYE kiss more than me. I can cover myself fine and find someone but he struggles. Obviously I am still going to try but I feel like the purpose has lost its full meaning | Instead of lining my mate who is almost identical to me with this girl for a NYE kiss, I've managed to line myself up instead |
t3_3gx2ml | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22F] of 6 months, me having nightmares | Trigger warning: Rape, assault, abuse
_______________________________________________________________________
I guess I should start my saying that this guy is the first who hasn't been physically/emotionally/sexually abusive towards me.
He cares, a lot. But I don't know how to tell him about what happened to me in the past. I have nightmares about my first boyfriend (who raped me repeatedly during our relationship), I have nightmares about my other exes (all of whom were abusive in some way). When I wake up in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking and crying and he asks what's wrong; all I can tell him is 'bad dream'.
I'm terrified that he'll eventually leave. He'll get sick of me waking up in tears. So I cling too tightly and I feel like I'm suffocating him.
I feel like, if he doesn't leave, he'll cheat on me. He'll get bored of the panic attacks I have during sex (even though it's completely consensual with him and I have never once felt pressured into it with him). He'll find someone with less issues.
Also, I have had therapy. I am on meds for the depression and anxiety.
I know I should tell him, but I don't know how to. He needs to know what happened to me, and my therapist thinks that it'll make our relationship stronger but I don't want to burden him. Please help... I'm so scared to lose him that I switch between clinging too tightly and pushing him away. | Past abuse; hard to talk about with current non-shitty partner. He should know. How do I tell him? |
t3_2jd1pw | relationship_advice | I think a girl i really like is interested in me, but i am so lost as to how to approach this situation.. | So me and this girl get along really well, we both have similar interest, and every time i see her around town she yells my name and acts exited to see me. She is a friend of a friend, and we occasionally hangout together with said friend, but that friend no longer lives around here. She told facebook she was quitting the site, and she wanted people to text her instead. I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and i sent her "Hey! Its ____", she responds "uhhhh last name?".
I didn't feel comfortable responding at the time so i just ignored it like a pussy. This was a week ago and i pretty much lost hope for a conversation and forgot about it, until yesterday she send me another message. Something along the lines of "hey i thought this was my other friend, this is (my name) right? sorry if i seemed rude when i said that" Then we catch up and talk for a bit over texting and i tell her we need to hangout in the near future, she says she's down for that!
Do you think a girl would do this if she was just being friendly? Or does it sound like she's into me? She also took a pretty long time to respond to each message.. like she was thinking of what to say, and i know she wasn't busy. We were just talking about what we do all day, basically, it wasn't too personal or exiting. She lives in the town over, so its going to be difficult to arrange plans to hangout, but im going to try to think of something. Just looking for advice because i dont know what im doing! Ive never been in a real relationship, we are both 18, im just scared of fucking this up.
Feel free to ask me any questions.. i seriously appreciate anybody who takes the time to read this or respond, you guys are the best.. | I text her saying my name, she asks last name, i ignore. A week goes by and she text me again, apologizing for sounding rude. Need advice on where to go from here |
t3_12b40d | relationship_advice | Girlfriend is away and the relationship with my lady friend could compromise things. Help? | Throwaway because my friend is a redditor.
My girlfriend had to leave the country for a temporary job and I won't see her for another 8 months. Around the time she left I befriended a lady and we've really hit things off over the past few weeks. I don't have many friends and almost everything I used to do I would do with my girlfriend whether it's grabbing froyo late at night or a quiet night out with a glass of wine.
The issue is that with the girlfriend out of the picture this new friend has suddenly been part of these activities and we spend a LOT of time together now. I love my girlfriend and I don't want to do anything that would compromise our relationship (whether perceived or actual) but I feel like I'm spending too much time with this girl and am getting too emotionally attached to her. This may be problematic for me because right now I'm faced with a lot of stress from work, family, and my own health which leaves me with a sense of emotional vulnerability which might lead me to compromise my friendship with this girl and my relationship. I don't consider myself to be the most charming man by any stretch but this girl looks up to me and thinks very highly of me as a man; she's made remarks in the past such as "you're a perfect and well-rounded guy" or "I wish more men could be like you" and I feel this may be something I could exploit if things were to ever escalate. The likelihood of any of this happening is very low but I'm not one to take risks.
What I feel is the best course of action is to prevent things from going further and to ease up on how much time I spend with her and try to place certain conditions on what I can/cannot do with her (for example, avoid spending time with her alone at her place). My question is two fold, would it be an appropriate move to limit how much time I spend with her? If I do, should I try to do this quietly or have a sit down with her and explain all of this? | Girlfriend gone, getting close to new lady friend, scared I might get too close. Should I try to distance myself, how, and if I do should I tell her? |
t3_25zm4u | relationships | Not a huge issue, but how do I 20(f) tell my boyfriend 22(f) that I'd like him to work out/be healthier without being a dick? | Just thought I'd say my boyfriend is not in any means fat, he's quite skinny actually and a little insecure about that (particularly his arms). This is not about weight loss or anything, just for the sake of his health and my own.
In the last year or so I've pretty much decided to eat healthily and get fit; I dropped a stone, actually eat 5+ a day, ran 7 miles of a marathon as part of a team yadda yadda. Thought I'd add that I was never fat, just not toned in case anyone thinks I'm projecting. My previous diet wasn't packed with fast food either, it just wasn't good food.
My boyfriend eats relatively well most of the time but is prone to eating fast food maybe once a week or crappy food a few times a week (oven pizzas, that sort of thing). He also doesn't work out at the minute. You couldn't tell though, he's always been slim, he has fast metabolism. He could tone up though which would ease his insecurities. His body has never been an attraction issue though.
However, in a few months time we'll be moving in together and I'm worried his lifestyles habits will rub off on me and I'll slowly go back to my old ways and get a bit lazy. How would you go about asking someone to eat healthier/work out without playing on his insecurities or being a dick?
I'm also a little worried he'll put on weight over the years which probably would cause an attraction issue. Personally, I don't think I could go out with someone who doesn't take care of themselves especially if I do. | How do I ask my boyfriend to work out/be healthier without hurting his feelings? Moving in together soon and I don't want to fall back into my previous (sort of) unhealthy lifestyle |
t3_lp7ku | AskReddit | Reddit, my friend is looking to work in the travel industry, any advice on how to go about it? | Some more background: he has been in audit (first external, now internal) for his entire career of 10 years and wants to switch. He has both his CA (Chartered Accountant, we're in Toronto Canada) and CFA designations. His search / switch is complicated by the fact that he's moved up from auditor to manager to director, so he's not looking for an entry level position... but he realizes he may have to take a lower job to get in.
He wants to work in travel because he is very passionate about it. He loves taking trips, talking about it with people, helping friends plan vacations, etc.
A clear transition would be to move into an audit type job within a travel company, but those jobs are far and few between.
Any experiences, suggestions or ideas are appreciated! | what's the best way to get into the travel industry in a non-entry-level role without industry experience?* |
t3_4ei30u | relationships | [19 M] one of my best friends for the past 1.5 years [22 F] has stopped talking to me and I don't know why. | I met this girl about 1.5 years ago when I moved to university and we became fairly good friends, and I developed a crush on her (which I am now over).
Just after Christmas, we suddenly started talking a lot more, texting every day, often into the night as well as seeing a lot more of each other at university. This went on for around a month and I'm starting to consider her my closest friend at university for the amount of time she is giving me.
One Monday, I text her and get no response, fine maybe she's busy, so I think nothing of it (we had seen each other that day and nothing felt untoward).
The next day I see her at the society we both attend and she blanks me, being much more cold and distant than usual. She lightens up by the end of the week and eventually normal service is resumed, the texting is slightly less frequent, but we still see each other regularly.
Term ends, we break up to go on holiday and since then, I have had one proper conversation with her, on my train home. I don't know what happened, she explicitly stated before I went that she'd talk to me over the holiday and I've heard next to nothing. I feel that I'm losing someone I considered one of my best friends. I hate confrontation, so would like to avoid that if possible | Met girl 1.5 years ago, started talking a lot more recently. She suddenly stops contacting me and I have no idea why. |
t3_2u5c47 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 1.5 years, how to deal with impending pre-college break up? | My girlfriend and I are both seniors in high school, and we're going to different colleges in the fall. We're going into totally different fields and have different life plans. She wants to stay in our city (or nearby) to be close to family for pretty much the rest of her life, and I'm going to the east coast for school and will probably remain there at least through my doctorate.
We're both very comfortable with communicating about this, and we've talked it over many times, and we've pretty much decided to break up at the end of summer. Even if it wasn't formally decided, there's just no way we could make it work- I don't think either of us wants to do long distance, and we both recognize that we'll both change as people in college, so it's probably best just to start fresh.
As much as I think this is best for both of us, it's still giving me a little trouble emotionally. She was my first real love and serious relationship, we took each others' virginity, and we're really close. She's awesome. I come from a not-so-stable family life, and through therapy and being around her and her extremely stable family, I feel like I've been given the skills to maintain healthy relationships. I know it's dumb to get so into a high school relationship, but I can't help being affected emotionally.
I'm not sure I have a specific question, but I could just use some advice about how to get over this and not let it hang over the last months of relationship so I can just have fun. I'd really just appreciate any comments that you might have that could improve my outlook on this.
Thanks! | Girlfriend and I mutually decided to break up at the end of summer before each of us go to separate schools; I want this and know it's for the best, but how do I get over it emotionally? |
t3_371clp | tifu | TIFU by telling a girl she was cute | So this happened earlier today. Around 8 hours ago when I was on my break from work. Only manged to write it and tell you guys now. Buckle up.
There's this really cute girl behind the counter in Pound Bakery (A shop where they sell pastries and what not for you Americans) and I've started going there recently on my breaks for work because you can get 2 cheese and onion pastries for £1 (deal of the century) and keep seeing this girl which I found really cute.
Now, I have anxiety and cannot talk to girls because I'll always have this feeling that I will be rejected every time I open my mouth to someone so I'm nervous and shy and have no confidence when it comes to girl but I had this Einstein of a moment and decided to tell this girl that I find her cute. I'm 19 years old as well. She may have been same age. Maybe 1 or 2 years older. She looked quite young.
But anyways, I brought my shit and gave the usual "thanks" and "have a nice day" and before I turned away, (luckily it was dead so no one was in the shop) I managed to bring myself to tell her and say to her "You're really cute by the way" and she just looked at me and said "okay then" and turned around and went into the back. I felt like absolute shit and probably dropped my confidence levels from 0 to -1,000,000,000. | Took me a lot of balls and confidence to tell a girl she's pretty and she knocks my confidence levels to a worse level than they already were. Now I'm going to be living with cats when I'm older. |
t3_2s91zx | relationships | I [20m] am confused as to why she [21f] doesnt want to go on a second date. | I met this really amazing girl about a month ago at a christmas party. We have a mutual friend, and this girl was kind enough to drive us to the party. Anyways, we both hit it off very well, and eventually after we are both kind of drunk I walk her back to her place and give her a kiss goodnight.
Luckily for me we happen to live in the same hometown, and so I asked her to the movies. We went and had a great time, she even texted me afterwards "I cant stop smiling, I had such a good time."
The next time I saw her was on new years, although nothing happened because it was already after midnight when i saw her and i was with different people. (She told me earlier she was probably going to be out of town, and didnt tell me she was in town til almost midnight) I figured it was fine though because we texted later that night and she said "One of my friends thought you were cute."
Ive tried to hang out with her since but every time ive asked she seems to be busy. I decided to just tell her i thought we had a really good first date and that i want to go on a second, and she hasnt bothered replying in more than 24 hours. | We hung out a few times and then had an amazing first date. I cant think of any missteps on my part, and now she wont even text me back about a second date. |
t3_4uqhcx | Advice | What should I study if I want to help change the world? | Hey guys, I am a super confused college student. I am interested in environmental studies and changing the world, does anyone have any ideas on how to combine these two ideas?
I really hate how the world works, where money is power, and people are left to struggle while others have insane amounts of money. I hate how we tarnish our environment just so these assholes can increase their greed. I want to bring the world together.
I feel like this discussion could benefit more people than just myself as this is not an uncommon place to be in. I just had my first year at a university studying businesss and found it was not fulfilling. Super confused on how to move forward, does ANYONE have ANY ideas on what I should study?! I am probably going to get a masters degree too. | what are the best combinations of majors (possibly minors) and masters degree programs to study in college to get started on changing the world? |
t3_15klce | dating_advice | 25m I need advice! | So I texted this girl I know from work(huge company would be like working in the same mall), I said:
Do you want to get a drink after work tomorrow at x bar?
She(24-25) responds: "I am suppose to see a movie with my roommate(female), but if that falls through I would definitely love to get a drink!"
Honestly I dont know if I just asked this girl out/ and if I did is she letting me down nicely? I am use to rejection, I am not sure I know what to do if she really does think its a date. I am going there with people I know from work as a new years after work thing. | Not sure if I asked girl out, she said she had plans but if it falls through she would love to go!... Is that a polite no? |
t3_3v4nxi | relationships | I [20F] got way too drunk last night and I scared myself by nearly dying. Feeling weird and nervous. | Hi, so I don't usually drink much. When I do, I can go a *little* overboard, but I usually get home in a state that allows me to wash my face, brush my teeth and get ready for bed. So never too bad.
Last night I had about 6 drinks (of varying strengths) and ate quite a bit of food. Decided it was time to go home. Spoke with two friends and remember the conversations nice and clearly. Put my phone on charge. Did my usual getting-ready-for-bed thing mixed with a little bit of induced vomiting (because I knew I would be horribly hungover if I didn't).
Well, through the night, I must have thrown up without knowing it, because when I woke up there it was. And my housemate asked me if I was alright 'cause she heard me coughing.
THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE HOLY SHIT
I'm so scared, what if I'd choked - I presume that's what the coughing was. Fucking hell. **I'm not drinking again because clearly I can't keep it to a sensible amount.** I hate it. This has left me feeling really fucking weird. I'm just thinking I could have died.
I don't know what I'm after (reassurance and comforting probably) but I don't want to tell anyone I know in person about this. | got drunk, was so asleep/unconscious that I didn't realise I was throwing up in bed, apparently nearly choked. what the fuck |
t3_2gm4o9 | relationships | Getting back out there | Hey guys,
A couple years ago, my ex [f, now 23] and me [m, now 25] broke up. I really loved this girl and it was not a mutual break up. Truth is, I still think about her a lot, probably more then I should. However, I have moved far away for grad school and have been moving one slowly over the past couple years.
When we first broke up I had some fwb which helped at first. But now I am in a new place and meeting people is hard. And I am finding it very difficult to connect with anyone anymore.
Now I hardly get up the courage go just get up and go talk to that pretty girl which catches me eye. But every now and then I do, usually with some liquid courage (alcohol) in me. If i'm not out at a party, bar or something of that social nature I DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE approaching people (especially a girl I am attracted to)
So over the last year or so I find whenever I feel like I am actually connecting with someone it falls through somehow. Usually it just ends up being a fake number which is given to me, or they just dont msg me back. It is getting very depressing and hopless.
I also have this anxiety about asking friends-of-friends out - I always just think word will come around that "Your friend Jimmy asked me out! Can we not invite him next time?" Sort of thing.
Any advice that you guys might have on this sort of thing would be helpful. But ultimately, I feel like I just needed to get some of this off my chest | I have had a hard time since my last break up 2 years ago. Dealing with constant rejection is getting depressing and making me feel hopless. |
t3_3ypn6l | relationships | My [25M] girlfriend of two years [23F] is much more attractive than I am, and even though she says it doesn't bother her, I feel disgusting. | Hello r/relationships. I've read so many posts and so many comments I thought I'd try and share my own problems with you all and see if you can help 'fix' me. I'm fairly unattractive. I have long, scruffy hair, a beard I can hardly keep under control, and I'm pretty overweight. My girlfriend is a petite blonde, green eyes, slim yet curvy, and incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to have her. She's worth so much more than I am, and I know people stare at her everyday, men worth a lot more than me. I keep worrying that one day she'll see what I'm worth and leave.
So she says she thinks I'm attractive, and she says she really likes guys like me and always has even before we met - like the long hair and scruffy look. I believe her and I'm happy she feels this way because I think she's beautiful and I know 80% of people agree with me, lol. I really want to work on my self-confidence. I'm seeing a therapist and have for a long time because of my self esteem, and I've tried many different therapists but none seem to have a very good effect. The best feeling in the world is when we make love and I can feel she loves me back and thinks I'm worth the world to her, but I still can't fully believe it.
It's like I'm always afraid I'm in this dream or something and I'm going to wake up and be like, fuck. I never even had her. Lol, this sounds ridiculous. I don't even know what I'm asking for anymore.
There you have it, Reddit. Please help me? | I feel like I'm not good enough for my girlfriend and never will be. Even though she always insists she loves me and thinks I'm attractive, I know I'm ugly and she's gorgeous. |
t3_1lgzit | relationship_advice | Me [22F] seeing a wonderful guy [22M]. Debating ending things because the "timing isn't right". Stupid decision, or smart move? | Hello reddit. Longtime lurker, first time poster. Apologies if any of the formatting is off.
I am a recent college graduate who has been seeing an old high school crush for about a month. He is truly sublime, and I have never felt this sort of magnetic pull towards another human being. We are not yet considering ourselves in a relationship, as we are taking things slowly and getting to know each other.
However, I am afraid that there are a few big obstacles that may prevent us from being in a relationship or sabotage it entirely:
* We both have work to do on ourselves. We each have our own issues that we are actively working on with the help of (separate) therapists, and we both have a lot of room for growth.
* I am seeking a 9 to 5 job, while he is serving at a bar. Landing a 9 to 5 will be a stressful transition, and it will also affect how often we get to see each other.
* We both live at home with our parents. I will not be getting my own place until a year from now. This obviously hampers the development of physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy as well. Having a cozy night in with a movie and a bottle of wine isn't an option at either of our houses.
I can't help but think that six months from now, or a year from now, a relationship would have a much better chance at survival, when I have my own place, an established job, and boatload of therapy under my belt.
I am afraid that if I try a relationship with him now, it would fail miserably because the timing isn't right.
I am also afraid of him becoming "the one who got away" if I don't give it a shot while I have my chance.
What do you think, Reddit? Is it better to give it a shot now or wait until the timing is better? I'll have a chance to discuss this with my therapist this week, but in the meantime, I'm interested in your opinions. | I'm crazy about this guy and want a relationship to work, but there are obstacles. I don't know if I should try a relationship now or wait until the circumstances change. |
t3_zf5c1 | Advice | IAmA a guy who built a wooden box and buried his cat only to have to dig it up and move it because of his neighbor's complaint. He is owed payback (legally only), and I need some advice on what to do. | I rent a home with my wife, and up until very recently we had a dog and 3 cats. Several weeks ago, one of our cats ran out the front door and down the street. By the title of this reddit, you know we couldn't catch it. Several days ago, which happened to be after a brutal storm, I was at work when I received a call from someone stating to have found our cat. It was deceased. I thanked him for calling me and told him I would be over after work to pick up the remains.
When finished at work, I made my way to Home Depot. I eventually bought and had some wood cut so I can fashion a small box. I got home, dug a hole, made 5/6 sides of the box and subsequently made my way to the neighbor's home (only about 4 houses down) to pick up the carcass. The gentleman whom called me was nice enough to place the remains in a trash bag with newspaper so I didn't have to see Kitten. His collar had been removed and had been used to tie the trash bag closed. I got back and placed the bag in the box and closed it up with some final nails. Finally, I placed him in the ground and buried him.
I get a knock on the door a bit later, and it's my landlord (Different from my neighbor). He was pleasant, but indicated that the neighbor had pitched a fit and that I would need to move the remains. He was nice enough to offer his back yard as a burial plot for Kitten, but I declined. I ended up calling my in-laws; after digging up the box, I drove over to their home and reburied the box.
Advice on what to do next. He needs to get his, but I ethically won't do anything illegal. What should I do? | My cat died and I buried it. I had to dig it up and move it because my neighbor is a huge dick-head. |
t3_1504k0 | AskReddit | How can I thank my brother? | I have not seen him in almost ten years. We have had a spotty relationship ever since we were kids, and have not been really close since I was about 12 or so. Our communication over the last decade has been mostly through Facebook, with the occasional phone calls on birthdays and holidays.
He has never been particularly close with our family. He moved from city to city once he was 18, and has had problems with anger and alcohol in the past. We would go months without knowing where he was, or if he was alive. But he has made drastic changes to his life over the last few years, and the extent of those changes hit me yesterday.
We have not exchanged Christmas gifts since we were kids. But much to my surprise, we received a parcel yesterday with gifts for my wife and I, and for our children too. His card said that he is finding it hard to be away from family, especially around the holidays. He has always been known to keep feelings to himself, so for me to read this was a bit of a shock.
I feel like a pretty lousy human being for not even considering sending him a gift. I was just going to call him, like every other year. He has made an exceptional effort to not only break the status quo, but shatter it with this loving, generous gesture.
I miss him. It has been so long since I have seen him. He has not met his nieces, or my wife. We live a country apart, so seeing him is just not feasible.
So, reddit, how can I thank him for this? What can you do for someone who has shown you such kindness so unexpectedly? I have struggled to think of something, but I keep drawing blanks. Thanks for reading! | Brother who I have not seen in years sends my family and I a Christmas package, after a decade of us not exchanging gifts. Need ideas to say thank you. |
t3_3si9c4 | tifu | [TIFU] By Snapchatting my Friend's Wife | Re-post because it said I needed more context.
So whenever I usually have something funny/embarrassing of my friend, I would snapchat it to his wife.
We'll call her Abby and we'll call my friend Ryan.
Abby wanted to go to dinner with Ryan, but he told her that he made plans to study with me (We have finals coming up). When I got to his house, Abby told him that she was going to a party. Ryan asks her why and she responded because he had to study tonight.
So fast forward 1 hour, we haven't studied yet, and are messing around. I saw an Abs Roller and a yoga mat on the ground that he just bought and I have been asking him to go to the gym with me forever so I poked at it and laughed because he would rather buy these insignificant workout pieces than go to the gym with me.
So he said watch this and hopped on the ground showing me how to use it. I took out my phone to snap it and as I predicted, he fails, flops, and we both laugh. I snap the clip over to Abby and shortly after, Ryan gets a text: "I thought you were studying...?"
That's when I knew I fucked up. lol | Friend's wife went out to a party by herself because he had plans to study with me. We didn't study, and without thinking, sent a Snapchat of him messing around. |
t3_3tfyk8 | relationships | My[19 M] GF[17 F]of 1.5 months is depressed and moody. What can I do? | My girflriend is really often depressed and moody. She has a hard history, and has been trough a lot in her short life. So I have a clue why she is so depressed, and she really has reasons to be.
Only thing is, our relationship is pretty new, and as a BF I should be there to comfort her and listen her. I'ts just so hard when she is like 80% of the time depressed and sad. She also gets angry really easily because all of this. How should I cope with this? She has said that it's not good time for her to be in a relationships, cause she has so much own problems but still wants to, cause she loves me. I don't want to always worry about my GF, but I feel like its my job to take care of her. Should I just try to cheer her up? Or give her space and let her open up when the right time comes (if it ever comes). Normally this would be normal(everyone is depressed sometimes ha?) but she is like almost all the time. When I'm not with her, when I'm with her, when we sleep, when we fuck, when we chill. I'ts really hard to see someone so sad, and I cant fully enjoy our relationship. Help | GF depressed and sad almost all the time. I dont know how to cope with this, cause i feel somekinda responsibility about cheering her up. Her problems are not related to me. What should I do? |
t3_2cya4t | relationships | [20M] Lied about having sex with a distant friend, now she's coming to visit and I'm caught in my reprehensible lie. What is the right thing to do? | I lived with this girl for a year, and harboured a crush on her. She went back to her home country and I got over myself so we became close friends. I visited her last year so she's visiting me this year.
I went to University after she left and people were talking about sex and relationships, so in an immature and morally corrupt attempt to look more grown up I said I'd been having sex with my friend which is a complete lie but the first thing to come to mind. I suppose I thought there'd be no consequences....
Now she's coming to visit two years after this and I just remembered what I told them so long ago. I'm obviously hoping they either don't remember or don't bring it up but if they do... well I'd definitely lose a friend and they'll think I'm scum (I am) for lying about things like that.
My girlfriend knows about the lie and the reality but if everyone else were to find out then they'd lose all respect for me. The worst thing of all is I'm sure my visiting friend will be disgusted and I'll lose one of my closest companions.
I'm caught in a trap of my own creation and I'm not sure how to act. Should I tell everyone and try to laugh it off? Should I just hope they don't bring it up? What if they figure it out? I'm scared I'll lose two years of progress (before that I had zero social life) over such a juvenile decision. **What should I do in this situation? | Lied about having sex with a distant friend, now she's coming to visit and if it comes up I'm caught in a reprehensible lie. Wat do? |
t3_18z1z5 | relationship_advice | Running out of ideas, options, and sanity. Please Help. | I am a 24/f. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 4 years. There are issues over the past 2 of those years that have been addressed, and nothing has really been done to help resolve them. We rarely have sex, and by rarely I mean maybe once every month and a half, possibly longer. He never goes out with me, (I'm not the clubbing kind of girl, just go out for drinks with friends) which I have made very clear to him that it's a problem. He's kind of anti-social, but never used to be. He sees 2 different doctors, and I have asked him to talk to them about anything that might be causing these issues. I don't press him, I have given him all the time in the world. I feel like I'm trapped. I love him, very much, to the point where I could see myself spending my life with him. But as of recently, the problems that haven't been fixed are driving me away. I find myself having feelings for someone else, who has let me know that he is in love with me. (a friend of mine) I have been shoving him away, because I'm in a relationship, but I am getting to the point where I'm wondering if I'm just afraid of change because I'm comfortable, and mistaking comfort for love. My friend that has feelings for me has requested that we not speak/see each other for a few weeks. It's kind of killing me. What's wrong with me? I'm I crazy? I need help, and have nowhere to turn. Any advice would be amazing. | My LTR seems empty due to outstanding issues that haven't been fixed, and my mind/feelings are starting to wander to other men. |
t3_2s9h26 | relationships | Me [25 M/F] Feeling depressed over a break up that happened year ago. | A really long story short, I went through a break up a little over a year ago and it broke me in ways I never thought I could break. I moved forward with my life, I did my best to keep busy, stay positive, look at the day I was in and not the future or the past. That all changed a couple weeks ago. For some reason, im not sure why, I started becoming depressed. Maybe it was more hours at work, maybe I wasn't eating enough, I walk to work and walk my dog so exercise isn't an issue. Whatever the case it started and it has only progressed.
Its not uncommon for me to think about my ex, or dream about him at least once a month, but recently its been bad. After the break up I realized any time I got depressed thats when thoughts/dreams having to do with him came about. Usually I can shut them off by, eating, watching tv, listening to music, going on a walk, what have you. Recently everything reminds me of him again.
I always heard "To get over someone, get under someone else". That didn't work for me this time. I haven't found anyone I even remotely like or can tolerate. Finding an S.O. isn't really the issue here. The issue im having is the fact that I lost my best friend for 8 years and I can not just replace him.
Im not sure what to do anymore. I go to work, I go out with friends and do fun activities, I keep busy and at the same time I do give myself down time. I just don't know how to handle this loss. People say "Go through the pain" I do. People say "Keep busy and distracted" I do. None of it makes it any easier, hurt any less or make it go away any faster. I can't handle this on again off again pain. | Time doesn't heal all wounds. Distraction and keeping busy does erase memories. Feeling the pain doesn't lessen it. Now what? |
t3_3gsdin | relationships | My boyfriend [25 M] of 8 months left me [21 F]. My friend thinks he's playing games. | Please forgive my lengthy post. This is my first time posting on reddit. Thanks for taking a look!
So me and this guy started seeing each other February 2015. In the beginning he made it clear to me that he wasn't looking for anything serious. As things progressed, he started calling me his girl and doing more relationship-type things with me. I asked him if this meant he changed his mind. He never gave a clear answer but continued to call me his girl and called himself my man. We dont see any other people, we go out on dates often, he introduces me to all his friends, we go to shows together, hold hands in public, etc.
He opened up to me and told me a lot about his troubled past. Things that happened in his childhood and issues with relationships with women. I thought of this as a good thing. He opened up to me and wanted me to have an understanding of where he was coming from.
Today he sent me a looooooong facebook message saying that he has to "break it off before it goes any further" also saying that he's damaged and has to take his leave. He continues to talk about himself during this entire paragraph. He also says that he loves me and that would maybe like to take me out in the future if I'm available and would have him.
This isn't the first time he's done this. He's "left" me twice before and said similar things. He came back those other times. Ive vented to my best friend those times as well. She insists that he's just playing games and wants to know that he has me to come back to whenever he feels like. Im aware that he has a big ego. He tells me about his fantasies about having multiple women surrounding him at all times and having them follow any of his commands.
Do you guys think he's full of it? Or is he genuinely upset? Should I not accept him if he comes back? Am I the one who is out of line? | My boyfriend has a troubled past and says thats why he has to leave me. He breaks up with me and then comes back. What do I do? |
t3_3254lu | relationships | Me [25 F] with my girlfriend [26 F] of one year, having trouble dealing with an open relationship | So my girlfriend and I have been together for just over one year. Things are great, she is the most wonderful person I've ever been with, and we're deeply in love. She told me from the beginning that she did not want to be monogamous. I was okay with that, but only in an intellectual way. I was always afraid of the day she would want to sleep with other people. It took a year, but it happened a few weeks ago.
The thing is, she is amazing about it. She has been in my position before of being new to an open relationship, so she is constantly there to talk. She is 100% open and transparent about everything. I feel like because she is so great and respectful about the situation that I am in the wrong for my feelings - of jealousy and sadness. I am not jealous of the other person. I am just saddened that she wants to spend time with a person who is not me.
I am also leaving in a couple weeks for a 3-month trip abroad and communication will be difficult. I just wish she wanted to spend these last couple weeks with me and that we could deal with the open relationship stuff later. I keep on getting mad at her for stupid things and blowing things out of proportion, as if everything was symbolic of greater problems in our relationship. I am pushing her away and she pulls me closer. But I feel hurt by her attitude towards open relationships - the question of not doing it has never been on the table. She needs to be free and autonomous. Her needs are valid and unchanging, but I feel like mine are something that I need to process and move on from.
I want her to be happy. I want to give her what she wants. How can I get over this? Her sleeping with another person in no way diminishes our love - I know this. Yet I constantly feel like it makes me want to push her away because I feel hurt. I want our relationship to be solid again, but I feel like I'm on shaky ground right now. | Having trouble dealing with an open relationship despite my partner needing it and being absolutely amazing about the whole situation. Pushing her away when I just want to be close. |
t3_4d5tnj | tifu | TIFU by not wanting to shave my mustache when I was 13. | This did not happen today. Or this week. Or this decade. Sorry about that.
Well, here goes. You know how many young boys (12-14 years old) are usually embarrassed by their sparse little rat fur mustaches that look like some tiny Moses came and split that shit all to the sides, and also, for some reason, by the idea of shaving? No? Anyone? Just me, then, okay.
So when I was 14, I was in that situation (the rat Moses mustache thing) and I didn't want to shave because I thought it would grow thicker and I didn't want to be a full man, yet. My solution — waxing. I sneaked on my sister's things and stole one of those little strips (probably a really old one) with green wax included and thought "dis is gon b esy" (yes, this is how 13 year olds talk in my head). Well, it was not. Not esy at all.
As you can imagine, I had no idea what the hell I was doing and that little strip didn't come with instructions so I just stuck it below my nose, rubbed it a little and BAM, ripped it off with all my strength. The problem was my strength wast much. The strip came off but chunks of wax were still stuck to my gypsy woman mustache. I panicked and tried to rub it all off. I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed until it all came off. "Awsum".
Next day I get up to go to school. Not only do I still have a pubestache, I also have two huge symmetrical circular blood red burns below my nose, from all the rubbing the night before. I had to come up with an excuse (I had a cold and said those were marks from all the blowing of my nose, I don't know why the heck I thought this was a good excuse) because I looked like an ugly stupid caterpillar with those things on my face for about two weeks.
Suddenly, shaving didn't sound so embarrassing anymore. | Was a stupid kid, had gypsy woman mustache, tried to wax it, got huge symmetrical red burns on my face for weeks. |
t3_23us1s | pettyrevenge | Keep parking in my spot, and I'll make it difficult for you. | So, I live in this shitty apartment building where there's definitely not enough spots for everyone's cars (maybe JUST enough, but that's pushing it.) So there's 6 designated spots for each apartment, and two or three floaters (whoever parks there can park there) in the lot. My shitty drug dealing upstairs neighbors always have friends over who block me in the driveway, park in my spot, or hit my car on the way out (I actually think that one was my actual neighbor though)....
Anyways, earlier yesterday someone's parked in my apartment's designated spot. This happens all the time because there's two spots directly in front of the house, parallel and right on the road, it's hard to know that it's not just off-street parking. (There's a big sign but I give people the benefit of the doubt) I usually write a note saying that it's a reserved spot and they can't park there. I did that yesterday to someone who parked there. They left, and hours and hours go by and I go out to buy a new mattress. I come back, and that jerk is parked in my spot again! So, I pull up so close to the driver's side door that it's impossible to get in from that side. I get out of my car and start cutting the rope off my mattress, and the owner of the car comes down to leave, just standing there watching. I say, "oh, is this your car? I'll move mine in just a few minutes, I gotta move this mattress. Oh, by the way, you're definitely not allowed to park here. Its a reserved spot for my apartment." and his response was "I wasn't staying long". I told him that he seriously can't ever park there again and that again, I'd move my car in just a couple minutes. He realizes I am not moving for him and he finally gets in on the passenger's side and slowly drives away.
I am so sick of these assholes who continue to park in my spot. That felt good. | Made some dude who keeps parking in my designated spot climb through the passenger's side of his car to actually enter his car. |
t3_devkf | AskReddit | Why the hell do people defile public bathrooms so horribly they are unusable to others?! | So I'm in school today and I've got to take a deuce. I go into the bathroom and of course, check to see if the handicap stall is open. It is. I go in, but notice there is no toilet paper. So I go in the small stall settle myself down on the seat, and unleash a couple of steamers. I reach up to grab some toilet paper, and my hand comes back covered in urine and wet mushy paper. Someone peed all over the toilet paper roll. Not accidentally either, this was soaked straight through. This isn't something you just do, you would have to take the rolls out of the dispenser and pee straight onto them. Anyway, i was pissed out, had to wash my hands, run out clenching my buttocks together, and find another bathroom. This isn't the first time I've seen anything like this, people will unroll paper all over the seat and pee on it so noone can sit down on it, and someone even pooped right on the toilet bowl lid once.
Does this SHIT happen in your high school? | people do stupid shit to public toilets because many high schoolers are immatures shitfaces who want to ruin everyone elses day. |
t3_2ouzef | relationships | My (28m) wife (28f) is livid because I want to visit my kindergarten children for an hour on Christmas Day. | This upcoming semester, my kindergarten children will be graduating and move onto elementary school. (We live in Taiwan, so naturally they aren't spending their time with family but at school). Since it would be my last Christmas seeing many of them, I thought I'd come to school for an hour and surprise them. When I told her this, she fucking flipped her lid. She told me that Christmas wasn't a part of their culture, although the school is covered in decorations and they're even having a Christmas party/gift exchange around the Christmas tree that day. She said that I'd see the the day before and after, and that they wouldn't even care to see me.
I don't think I've ever seen her this angry. She told me I was a terrible person. I know her favorite holiday is Christmas, but I've just spent a lot of time and money decorating our home despite myself hating the holiday. I understand being apart bothering her because I work until 7:30 every night, but I just gave up seven hours of teaching pay, which is quite a bit, so I could spend even more time at home with her. I just didn't expect this sort of reaction from her.
Am I being a twat? You tell me. | My wife is angry because I want to spend an hour on Christmas Day surprising my kindergarten children, who will be at school. |
t3_24qaph | relationships | I (18f) need advice on what to do about my boyfriend (24m) from someone who knows what it's like not to want to leave despite everything. | So, I finally understand why some people don't leave toxic relationships. Or, I atleast understand that feeling.
I feel unloved, unappreciated, and unimportant in my relationship of about 10 months. I'm tired of contradictory complaints. (I like it when you don't wear makeup, why do you get all dolled up for other people?/ I want you to tell me if I'm not doing something you like in bed, why do you always tell me not to do something you like?/ I understand why you hate my ex, you have no right to hate my ex./ I only want you to be honest with me, lies to me./ you can sleep with homies (I do not abd said I would not), gets jealous if I talk to any male.)
I do everything and anything in my power to make him happy but I never succeed. And he only does the bare minimum, only, to my understanding, what will keep me content and stay.
Several friends want me to end this relationship because they see how unhappy I am, how unhealthy the relationship has become, how he seems to be incapable of being happy with me. But I cannot bring myself to do it. | can anyone give me words if wisdom to end this? Please from people who have been in this kinda rut where you know the relationship is toxic but you still stay anyways. |
t3_fv5x5 | AskReddit | Where are some good places to share music you've created? | I'm looking for places outside of reddit too.
As a poster who feels close to the reddit community, I feel let down by the places here I've shared my hard work with. I posted to /r/WeAreTheMusicMakers but the link was downvoted (apparently for sharing), and I posted to /r/ListenToThis but I think it was removed by a spam filter. I wasn't posting around like "BUY MY ALBUM LOLZ!" I just wanted to share my hard work and what I've made with a community I enjoy being a part of. Also if those subreddits were worried about spam, the album can be streamed for free, and is pay-what-you-want for download, so if people want to download it free then that's an option too. | Reddit doesn't seem like the easiest or best place to share my work, does anyone know of some good sites? I already have a bandcamp (goombajoe.bandcamp.com) |
t3_22ffd4 | relationships | GF (20F) and I (22M), together for 3 years, just getting back together after 3 week break up and we seem to have lost "the spark". | My gf (20F) and I (22M) recently got back together after being broken up for 3 weeks. Having been together for 3 years we got to a point where we got a bit head over heals and were rushing towards moving in together and an engagement in the near future. When we took a step back we realized that isn't really what we want (at least not so soon). The break up was basically to spend some time apart and to figure all that out. We have been back together for about 3-4 weeks now and neither of us seems very emotionally invested in the relationship. As she put it "It feels like we are just best friends rather than bf/gf."
The thing that I think is making things difficult is how busy we are and how conflicting our schedules are. She just started a new job where she is up at 5am and in bed by 10pm during the work week. I work two jobs (one M-F part time during the day, and the other 2-3 evenings/nights randomly during the week or weekend), assistant coach a HS lacrosse team (M-F consists of practices or games in the evening), and I am just starting to do volunteer firefighting. We really only see each other for a couple hours in the evening once or twice during the week and maybe once on the weekend. When we do see each other briefly during the week we don't do much which doesn't help to bridge that connection.
The spark not being there is really throwing us in a funk, especially since we are coming off such a recent break up. I hope /r/relationships can help shed some light on the problem because I'm not willing to throw in the towel and give up on our relationship without a fight. | Relationship of 3 years trying to recover from a recent break up. We love each other but the spark just isn't there and life/scheduling makes it difficult to spend time together. |
t3_yy19q | dating_advice | Girl stuck in the [f]riendzone one too many times. Now getting out of it? | Well I'm a 18 y/o female and I keep getting stuck in the friendzone. I know I'm above average with my looks but I honestly can't be more than friends with guys. I'm a redditor and a computer nerd. I love classic rock music. I always find myself having so much in common with guys that we end up just being really good friends and it sucks. There's a guy I've liked for about 4 years now and he still sees me as a friend. Last night though we were talking a bit and we started flirting a bit which we do sometimes but this time he asked for pictures randomly so I sent him pictures of myself (only bra and underwear. it was pg-13 :p) but then we started talking about each other and whether or not we'd do anything. He told me he'd do it for reasons of pure lust. What I don't get though is the fact that we're best friends, he finds me attractive, wants to have sex with me, but says it's purely lust? I don't know what to do with this information. I talked to him tonight and he didn't even bring up last night. We just talked about normal stuff. I really want to hook up with him though. What should I do/ what is he trying to tell me? | best friend tells me he'd have sex with me only because of lust. want to do it but don't know how to approach the situation because he's rejected me before and suddenly wants my attention. |
t3_16xp4j | relationships | F(19) feels lonely in college, how can I M(19) help her cope? | Sensitive girlfriend of 3 years finds it hard to find like minded people she can relate to in the college she's in. She has told me that it is troubling and that some days she cries herself to sleep.
Of course she's tried to make friends, but people around her aren't exactly receptive to her personality (it's a pretty conservative college). Also, she suffers from anxiety disorders, so it makes the situation more complex.
We don't live in the same area, but we are relatively close. I get to see her once or twice a week, so the time we spend together is "our" time. We have hung out with my friends together no problem, but she wants (and probably needs) friends in her area.
Now, I know we are young/she's bound to make a friend eventually/roll with the punches/etc. I understand, time tends to fix these sort of problems. My main concern is dealing with the problem and helping her with the feelings she is feeling now. I feel like I fall short when I attempt to console her in any way, and it kills me hearing her say that she's hurting. | girlfriend is having trouble making friends, it's beating her up inside and she's taking it to heart. I want to help her. |
t3_2y2b74 | relationships | I just found out that my (22M) SO (19F) of 3 years was drugged and assaulted last night. | My SO lives in London for university and I am in Devon. She went to a party last night and woke up around 2am in a strangers house. She ran away and go her friends to come and find her. I know the police have taken statements and that she has a black eye, and that's the extent of what I know. I will know more when I see her tomorrow.
I need help Reddit, I've lurked and seen the support you guys are capable of. How can I best support her? What should my role be in this? I have never been in this position before. | My SO was drugged and woke up in a strangers house. I don't know what to do with myself. How can I best support her? |
t3_p3myx | AskReddit | She explains why she is staying with him... What are some reasons a girl/guy wouldn't date you? | Her: Good morninggg! I'm still in bed right now and am opening one eye and closing the other and then alternation because my eyes are too tired to both stay open haha. And, no he and I don't get compliments like you and I did... He doesnt even compliment me like you did. I don't know I think I'm just scared to break up with him afer investing sooooo much time into it and I'd have to explain it to my family and ugh. He's not lovey and dovey but I think that's just from being together for so long, and the fact that I recently hurt him like hell definitely changes his attitude towards me. But I do enjoy my time with him and I know he's crazy about me. He and I have only had sex once since I've been back, but you know my sex drive has completely disappeared since I told him about us. ***If I were making a decision on sex it would be you hands down haha.*** I dont know if this is the right decision but its the one I'm making. And yeah you're always on my mind, but then again so is he. Really I'm torn. I want you to look for someone else available though. I'm not going to just keep you around as a backup, like you say. That's why I always tol dyou to look around. Of course, I'm going to die a little when you find her though... | We are better together (its been a year and a half), I am better in bed, she is still doubting herself but is staying with him |
t3_iy0od | AskReddit | A driver who was likely under the influence of some substance or other was swerving all over the place in front of me. They were driving a car with a business advert on it. What should I do? | So, I was driving down the road this morning, and the car in front of me was swerving all over the place. At times, they were actually driving straight down the line between two lanes, and twice they nearly drove right up onto the centre embankment. I rang the police, explained where I was and gave them the license plate number. That was the easy part.
Now here's the part I'm unsure about. The car had an advertisement on it for a business. Do I contact the business (anonymously) and let them know that someone driving one of their cars was possibly under the influence? Or do I just let the police deal with it? Will they even do anything? By the way, I'm in Australia, so what the police would do in other countries might not necessarily apply here. On one hand, I don't want to get someone fired from their job, but on the other hand I'd rather have them fired then have them kill someone in an accident. What would you do? | Erratic driver likely under the influence was in a company car. Do I contact the business or let the police deal with it? |
t3_2ccfq8 | relationship_advice | I [20/m] want to get her [21/f] to talk to me alone so I could confess my feelings and intentions, is it a good idea? | Hi, I've been working in a restaurant for 7 months as a part time employee. I started liking this girl (let's call her X) for about 2-3 months. I am sure that X likes me since she had shown signs of interests these past few months and she also found out that I like her through other coworkers. I know some people would say "don't shit where you eat" but it's not like I'm going to work there forever, right?
Ever since I started to develop stronger feelings for X I became even more shy and quiet towards her (X even noticed this behavior and called me out on it through text saying that I've been ignoring her). So far I haven't spoken to X for about 2 weeks now and all this time I've been trying to gather my energy to tell her that I really like her and would like to know her more and ask her out from there. | Coworker knows that I like her, I am positive that she likes me too but am shy to talk to her, is it a good idea to ask her if we could talk alone so that I could confess? |
t3_2pi3x4 | relationships | Exgirlfriend[22f] cheated on me[23f] with a girl[23f] and they dated for a year and a half. We are all good friends despite and they broke up and I slept with my exes ex. | Me and my ex are best friends. We dated for a long time (5 years) and when she cheated I was upset but only because she was my friend also and I didn't expect her to do something like that to me. We broke up mutually and have been close since. Well, she started dating the girl she cheated on me with and we all spent a lot of time together and me and the girl got really really close. My ex broke up with her for another girl 6 months ago. Last night I slept with the girl and I told my ex and she is upset with us both because her best friend slept with her ex. The thing is, I really like the girl and we were drunk and so it just happened. I guess we thought it wasn't so bad because she technically ended both relationships she had with us hahaha. So we figured we could do what we want.
Now my ex is saying what if she slept with my ex who I just broke up with a month ago in an attenpt to show me that I fucked up. I would be devestated but I feel like it is totally different given the entirely different circumstances. I feel guilty about sleeping with her but also feel like we should be allowed to do what we want considering we werent the ones who ended things and because we are both single. Am I wrong? I was straight forward and apologized a lot. I can't tell if I should feel as guilty as I do. | I slept with my exgirlfriend's and best friend's exgirlfriend that she cheated on me with and now she is mad and I can't tell if I should feel the way I do |
t3_4d0ekd | relationships | I [22 M] am falling for my friend [22 F] but it's...complicated | I'll try to keep this short and sweet. This, is about a girl. One whom I've known for almost half of my life. When I first payed eyes on her, I was smitten. Frankly, no one could blame me. Think the movie "Something About Mary" and that's how I saw this girl. I however put aside my romantic inclinations, although my opinions on her never changed, nor did they ever remain clandestine.
Either way, flash forward and she's now one of my oldest and best friends. I eventually told her about the crush I used to have, abd we both had a good laugh. Unfortunately things got derailed a few months ago, as she was best friends with what had become my ex. We lost contact for a few months. Though...lately we've been talking again. She got really sick not too long ago, and it was my privilege to chat with her more and hopefully I helped a little. This made me realize though, and I've always felt this way, I really care about this girl. It sounds insane, but she means the world to me. Thinking back on things, there always was this strange dramatic tension between us. I might even go so far as to say, just a little chemistry.
We are going to the movies together soon, just the two of us, though not necessarily as a date. I do however think that, seeing how things go, and of course a few more get togethers, I might seriously consider persuing this fantasy. I fear however that our past, or more specifically my past, might make this extremely difficult ...Any advice on how to proceed would be excellent. | I really like this girl, we're good friends, but I used to date one of her friends and I'm not sure what to do. |
t3_fmm1a | AskReddit | Can someone make me an Infographic?? | Recently after having a conversation with some friends about how often we skip songs on out ipods i decided to write out a guide/article called "Unskippable: A Guide To The Perfect iPod v1.0"
the guide/system is very helpful and i've been testing it with my friends and they all have loved it, so now i love to share it with the internets but i thought it'd be cooler/better received if it were presented in an Infographic...
unfortunately i only have a netbook, and my artist/graphic design abilities are very limited.
so now i'm come to YOU! my Reddit family to try and find someone with spare time who would be willing to turn my article into an Inforgraphic. | i wrote a guide to make an unskippable ipod, asking someone to turn it into an infographic because me no smart |
t3_217zto | running | Yet another "should I run this upcoming event I haven't prepared for?" question | I never thought I would be one of these posters - I usually plan things out pretty far in advance and train - but here I am, contemplating signing up for a half marathon that occurs 10 days from now.
The background is this: I ran a half in fall 2012 and it was pretty disastrous - over 2.5 hours. A few months later, I was diagnosed with severe anemia, which explained why throughout my training I was getting slower (my husband just thought I was being lazy, but it turned out I had no iron!).
Fast-forward to now. I've been taking my iron pills and eating lots of oysters like a good girl, and my energy level is back up. I hadn't been running much this year because I moved to a not-very-running-friendly country last summer, but for the past two months I've just said fuck it and started running anyways. Since I'm not really training for anything the longest I've run this time is 10K, but I'm running almost every day and feeling good.
Rationally speaking, I should just do the 10K event on the same day, but races are so few and far between in my country and I feel like I could probably beat my previous half even without the training... but am I being crazy? If I do decide to do it, how do I approach the next 10 days - should I try and do another long run between now and then, or just stick to short ones to keep my legs loose? | Contemplating a half marathon 10 days from now. Ran one a year ago but since then my longest distance has been 10K. |
t3_zfn9n | AskReddit | I had a lady cut up her membership card and throw it in my face. What is the rudest thing someone has done to you and how did you respond? | Ten years ago, during my brief tenure as a Blockbuster employee, I was left alone to run a store on a Friday, one week before Christmas. It was snowing and our credit card machine was down. It was extremely busy (yes, there was a time that people went to Blockbuster) and I had a line reaching halfway through the store. A lady comes to my counter wanting to buy used VHS tapes as gifts for her daughter. (On a side note, she asked me if I thought Skulls 2 on VHS was a good movie to buy for her 16 year old daughter, and wasn't sure if she had seen the first one. WTF?!?!)
Anyways, she wanted to use a credit card and I told her the machine just went down and we'd have to use cash or she would need to wait a minute until it came back up. She went crazy and grabbed the scissors in my work area and cut her membership card into pieces to promptly throw in my face. With bits of paper trickling down my face and chest, I calmly apologized, trying to calm the situation down and she starts storming out. The people in line were horrified at her response. Just as the exit door closed, I called her back in and she turned around almost optimistic that the credit card machine had come back around. I prompted her to walk around the counter and said to her, "You forgot your card." She was livid and stormed out cursing. The people in line were cracking up. I felt pretty good about that one.
I'd like to hear some other stories. | Some lady got pissed about not being able to pay with credit, cut up card and threw it at me. I had a moderately funny response. |
t3_2ab8fo | relationships | Bf (20) makes a big deal out of paying for me (20) | My boyfriend and I have dated a little bit over a year. We usually pay for our own portion of our own expenses whenever we go out. Sometimes he would buy me small snacks costing under $3 and I'd make it up to him by purchasing him food back or paying a bit more for our split meals.
The problem is, he makes SUCH a BIG deal out of it every time he uses money on me and insists he always pays for my stuff (which he doesnt'). He sometimes-passively aggressively forces me to pay for his food because "remember that time I bought you ______?" It's like he forgets I have bought him stuff before as well.
I used to be very lenient on how much he owes me because he could just feed me some snacks. But now I'm considering calculating everything to the nickel (no more pennies!) and just evenly splitting EVERYTHING.
My family doesn't give me money, I'm living off loans and my part time job. Basically I'm fucking broke. He gets money whenever he asks for it. | boyfriend is super uptight every time a penny is spent on me and tries to get "even" with me even though it is already even lol and it's really annoying. |
t3_2j2rb5 | relationships | [Update] Me [26 M] in a long distance grey area friendship with [22F] for a few months and unsure where I stand. | Original Post:
So I've been stewing over this for about a week, but I ended up finding out from her that she's dating someone. The way she expressed it in the past is that dating maybe leads to a relationship. When she told me that she was dating someone, she made it clear that they aren't together and that they're just going on dates. She also avoided it at first because she didn't want me to hate her.
Not that I'm saying that I should be waiting, but I generally don't do the dating thing myself. It sounds like she's potentially doing this casually to get back into the swing of things? Then again, she said they maybe lead to relationships. Either way, I ended up floating the idea of non-exclusive dating to see if she was okay with that between us, but she got really upset. I ended up talking to her a few days after that (she let me know she was upset then) so I ended up dropping the conversation. I talked to her once more, she dropped that conversation and I've not talked to her since.
So, yeah, that's more or less it. I'm somewhat frustrated that she's being inconsistent and that she's now decided on dating despite telling me otherwise that she wanted to do whatever. I'm also somewhat upset because I feel a bit led on, but otherwise I don't know how viable this is in the future (even though she has admitted to liking me). Not sure what advice to ask for, but if you have any thoughts I definitely will read them. | Found out that the girl who I'm interested in is dating someone else, even though she said she didn't want another relationship out of the next one. Frustrated because she's being terribly inconsistent. |
t3_2yvdl2 | relationships | Is my [29M] GF [28F] hung up on her ex-BF, or the woman who stole him? | I've been dating a woman for a few months now. Before she dated me she was in a toxic relationship with an alcoholic and abusive man who also cheated on her. She tried to work through all of it, but ultimately he left her for the other woman. The other woman was mean and vicious about it.
Now, my GF claims to be over her ex, but she gets furious at the sight of the other woman, and she compares herself to this other woman all the time in a very detrimental way. In her own words, she thinks this other woman "won".
I could use some insight into the way she might be thinking. Is she really hung up on this other woman for being a terrible person? Or is it really that she is not truly over her ex?
Please help me understand this so I can know how to be supportive...or perhaps protect myself from getting hurt. | Current GF claims to be over her ex, but gets furious with his new girlfriend. Is it true that she's over him, or is that really still the core issue? |
t3_53wtm0 | legaladvice | [USA-CT]Lease Addendums After Move-In | Hi all,
My wife and I recently moved into a unit in an apartment complex. Now, a little under two months after signing the lease and moving in, we've been contacted by the leasing office, who spoke of an audit of their records and some missing signatures. This is not entirely unexpected: I declined to sign that I had received documentation of any lead-based paint when we signed the lease, as that information was not made available to me yet. At the time, I verbally confirmed that I would be happy to sign later, once the necessary documentation was provided. It has since been provided and reviewed to my satisfaction.
They delivered a packet of forms. The first form was the expected lead release, but they also attached a half-dozen lease addendums, all of which limit our rights to use the property in some way. Many cover topics never discussed prior to signing the lease, and others directly contradict the lease (with explicit language stating that they supercede the lease).
What are our obligations in this situation? Is there any reason we would have to modify our contract this far into our tenancy? Can I just sign and return the lead form, as promised, and leave out the addendums, or could this jeopardize our tenancy?
Thank you for your attention, and any advice you can give. | Moved into apartment <2 months ago. Suddenly being asked to sign lease addendums never seen/discussed prior due to "missing signatures". What do I do? |
t3_1bx1qk | relationships | Does maybe really mean maybe or am I [18M] overthinking this? | A female friend [19] and I [18] are both in college, and over winter break we developed crushes for one another. By the end of break we hooked up. We made out a lot and I performed oral on her. We would have gone further but my parents almost caught us and she got scared, so we stopped. After break ended we went back to our respective universities, occasionally texting one another (about every 2 weeks on average).
Before spring break we had not talked to each other for a little over a month so I thought she lost interest in me. Unfortunately, we had different spring breaks so I never got to see her. I texted her to see how she was doing even though I was super worried she wouldn't respond back (I still have a crush on her and wasn't sure if she still felt the same way). She seemed really happy to talk to me, so I feel like she had the same feelings as I did.
A little over a week after my spring break I texted her (last night). I wanted to know if she had any other guys in her life. She told me she didn't, so I asked her if she wanted to grab dinner with me when we go back home for summer break. I told her something casual like Noodles and Company. She responded by saying "maybe, I can't make any promises. It depends how things go once we get home. So do you have a girl?" I told her I was still single and the conversation ended shortly after that.
I would also like to point out that since we were both in long distance relationships that ended badly I would not consider dating her longer than summer break. I wouldn't even call it dating, more of a friends with benefits relationship (although we never used the words "friends with benefits"). Since I discussed this with over winter break her I know she feels the same way.
Do you think she's still interested in me? **Does "maybe" really mean maybe**, or was her way of telling me no? I will eventually ask her, but I want to get some advice and other opinions on this first. **Do you have any tips on how I should go about asking her?**
I'm overthinking this aren't I? | A girl I like and hooked up with said she might be interested in going to dinner with me, but since she said "maybe" I'm not sure if she's still interested in me. |
t3_2aqgui | relationship_advice | Me, 26 year old male, is upset with my girlfriend, 25 year old female. Am I in the wrong? | A little background: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We've had rocky moments and lately I've felt a huge lack of caring towards the relationship. At best I'm struggling to find feelings towards her, at worst I'm a bit nasty towards her in tone. Initially I had great love for her, but now I've reached a point of not caring due to issues with her that have pushed me away over the past two months.
She's the type of person to check her phone every few minutes. This is hugely important to the story because it's why I'm pissed. She decided to go out dancing with her friends and the roads are pretty bad due to weather. I last texted her at 10:30pm, with her responses being quick in between until the last message I sent her. An hour goes by and she hasn't texted me back, I asked her if she's okay. Another 45 minutes go by and I text her and her friend.
30 minutes after that, over 2 hours since last contact, she finally responds that she didn't feel her phone. Now I know that she religiously checks her phone as I said. I feel that she purposely left me hanging as a way to get me to show concern since I've been so monotone lately with her and this is greatly pissing me off.
Am I being a baby about this, or am I in the right? | Girlfriend of 8 months religiously checks her phone normally, but ignores my texts for 2.5 hours causing me to worry. I feel that she's doing it for attention. Am I wrong for being pissed? |
t3_3u9iqz | tifu | TIFU by thinking my sister was capable of handling money | This happened about 45 minutes ago. Some backstory: I am a 16 y/o guy that enjoys video games. A lot. Today marks the beginning of the Steam Exploration Sale, so I planned on buying a Steam card when I got home from school. Queue the FU. When I got home, my parents told my sister and I that one of us had to take our dog for a walk. Me, wanting to get but a Steam card thought "Hey this is the perfect opportunity, kill two birds with one stone", but my sister, having been told that I was going to buy a Steam card while we were on our way home, volunteered to walk the dog. She then told me to give her the money for a Steam card, and she would buy it for me. I thought "Sure, what could possibly go wrong?". So I give her the money ($50) and away she goes. She said she would go to the Mac's (a convenience store) that was around the corner to get my card, and then bring it back when she finished walking the dog. I got a call from her less than 5 minutes later, and it was my sister. She apparently lost the money I gave her in the 2 minutes it takes to get to the Mac's, and was trying her hardest to look for it. I'm now sitting in front of my laptop looking at the Steam store page and see the measly $1.60 that I have in my Steam wallet, missing $50, and have no new games. | My sister said she would buy me a Steam card if I gave her the money to buy it, she proceeded to lose the money less than 2 minutes later. |
t3_3572ds | relationships | Me [17F] having second thoughts about [19M] boyfriend | Hey there I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years and am having thoughts and feelings about other guys. I met him at the end of my freshman year (he was a junior) and he was basically my first real boyfriend. I love him very much but I fear that because I met him when I was so young I am going to be bitter if I never experience other things. We have plans for our future and I don't want to mess them up but I am worried about having those what ifs if I don't explore. I wish I could have met him a few years later. I was wondering if I should ask for a break and if a break has worked for anyone? Help me. I have no idea how to deal with these feelings. Advice please. | I have been with my boyfriend since I was pretty young and am thinking of taking a break because I fear in not ready to settle down yet because I don't know what else is out there. |
t3_wp09g | self | I think I missed my chance. | I was recently using Chatroulette and eating of cup of noodles when, whoa a cute girl pops on the screen. In this infinite sea of dicks did I finally find a girl? and an attractive girl at that?! Yes. I. Did. and it was great! We laughed, we cried (I lied we just laughed). All that is beside the point though. I'm not expecting anything but I would just like to get to know her a little bit more. If you come by this I had the glasses and the cup of noodles, then the cupid shuffle came on.
Ah, well that was embarrassing. I shall go to my corner now.^^^^^^:D | I met a cute girl on chatroulette, I hope she see's this so I can get to know said cute girl. |
t3_2xy60d | Advice | Any advice to help my girlfriend with her depression? | I don't know if this is the right place or not, but I'm just gonna post it here ...
Me and my GF has been together for 8 months, although we are now away from each other (I go study abroad), we are still deeply in love and I can see no near point in the future where we will breakup.
She studies Drawing/Graphic Design and as you may know studying art can sometimes be frustrating, seeing all the gifted people making so beautiful art while you cannot. She has the same problem. This combined with her currently not-so-high self-esteem led her into depression. She always tell me she has lost her passion towards drawing and design (said that she once has) and she now feel like it's a chore. She says sometimes she does it just for the grade, and can't really imagine herself doing that as a job anymore.
Honestly from my point of view she has the talent and all, but she just doesn't have the confidence. She still have one of the highest grade in her class, and I fixated my point on that. She keep looking at other people's art and feel bad about herself. I tried (and still trying) my best to lift her mood up everyday.
As a person who have found my own solid passion (computer science) I feel lucky but feel bad at the same time because I do not know how does it feel to be in her situation. Almost every night we skyped and she cries herself to sleep because of her lack of enthusiasm and motivation she once had.
So I turn to you to ask for advice. How do you help a person with depression about self-esteem? Is there any method or program? I know it's not easy and must take a lot of time, but I'm willing to help her.
Also please note that we come from a country where society and people are not as easy as in the EU/US. In our country people judge a lot on how we dress/look and therefore she also stressed by seeing all other classmates' works as well. Also, she tried therapists but they doesn't work ... | My GF is in a somewhat extreme case of depression of self-esteem. She's studying art and always feel bad about her works comparing to others. What should I do? |
t3_32gu7y | relationships | My gf[27 F] makes meeting my[27 m] sexual needs REALLY uncomfortable. | Lately it's been getting harder and harder to ask my GF to help me out with my male needs. We just had a fight about the fact that she doesn't like doing things to get me off. I don't ask for a huge production but throughout my life, I never thought it a big deal to have these needs met by my SO. Whether it's HJ, BJ, or in any other form, help me with my needs.
We've been living together for over 4 years. (edit, This problem is about a year old) Whenever I try and initiate, or ask, or play, she either says no, or makes me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed that I asked in the first place. Its driving a wedge between us as well because I have to rely on alternative means such as hiding away and masturbating most of the time when pressure gets too high.
She doesn't like me masturbating, she says she would rather be involved but when push comes to shove, I end up dry humping her or asking her to touch me and she makes me look like a complete fool when she turns me down or says "oh, that's romantic." or "What am I a sex toy?". I've probably been rejected over 10 times this year so I've just about lost my will to ask.
So now I'm not sure what to do. She doesn't want me to masturbate, she doesn't want to be involved with me getting off in any other way. What the heck options are left? I've never experienced this kind of push back in any previous relationship. It's a GOOD thing that I want to be involved with my SO, and not somebody or something(porn) else.
What do I do? It's not like she doesn't know. We've been talking about it for over a day. She knows what my wants are. She knows I want her to be involved. But she still insists that I go about it the wrong way and I know the next time my pressure gets too high, I'll be way too embarrassed to try and involve her for fear of rejection. | GF doesn't want to help me get off in any way, but obviously doesn't want me hiding away to have my needs met either. What do I do? Am I wrong? |
t3_3ipx7s | relationships | Girflriend [23 F] of 2 years treats me [24 M] with silent | Within the semester break my girlfriend and I live apart from each other. We haven't seen us for almost 2 months now but get in touch everyday via WhatsApp and every now and then via Skype.
We had lots of arguments lately and I feel like I can't do anything right. The last time we texted she said I'm neither sweet, nor romantic. I know I wasn't very sweet but I think it's reciprocal. If she's sweet to me, I'm sweet to her. Also, it's how she said it. She's very demanding lately. She gives me the feeling that it's my duty to make her satisfied all the time.
But this time she insulted me with swear words, shutdown her cellphone and said "bye".
That was almost a week ago. I haven't heard of her yet.
On the one hand I want to talk to her but on the other hand I want her to apologize for insulting me first. That was really a cheap shot.
I feel like it's a power game she plays...
I don't know, it makes me sad. | Temporary long-distance relationsship, little disputes freuently. A week ago she insulted me and doesn't text me since. |
t3_49ql4q | relationships | My girlfriend [19F] and I [19F] have been together for three years, but things don't feel the same anymore, and I can't stop thinking about a girl I barely know. | Hi r/relationships, I've never posted here before but:
My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and it's the first long term relationship both of us have had. We both feel entirely in love and have never had many problems between us. However, recently I just don't feel as attatched to her. Nothing has changed as far as I can see, and there's nothing that she has done wrong, I just feel that things have changed. I don't want to discuss it with her yet though because I'm still early in my thinking about all of this, and don't want to end up spontaneously leaving her and ending on a bad note, or just apologising profusely and continuing on the way we are now.
None of this is helped by the fact that on a recent residential trip we both went on with our University, a girl there studying a different course to both my girlfriend and myself caught my eye. Not because she was particularly the best looking girl I've ever seen who's way out of my league or anything, I just felt really into her. We spoke a little bit and had a laugh, but with there being a lot of other people around, we we both also mingling with the other people there.
I have this other girl on various social media as she has been an aquaintence for a while, and ever since the trip, for some reason I can't stop thinking of her, and feeling less into my girlfriend, and I feel terrible about it. I constantly feel the urge to message the girl I met - but definitely not to cheat on my current girlfriend. | Don't feel as attatched to girlfriend of 3 years anymore. Simultaneously I have a good ol' fashioned teen crush feeling towards an aquaintence. |
t3_1qushi | relationship_advice | I'm [40/m] dating a incredibly sexy [46/f], we both said we don't do relationships, but I have fallen for her | I am a divorced man of 40, not bad looking and in the 3 years since I split from my ex-wife I have met dozens of women.
About 3 months ago, a barmaid in a local pub told me her friend liked me, we exchanged numbers and arranged to go on a date. I could not really remember what she looked like as I had drank quite a lot. I met her the following week and was absolutely blown away by how attractive she was. The date went well and she came back to mine, and we stayed up chatting until the early hours.
I really liked her and we continued to go on dates, or she would come around and we would drink wine, listening music, chat, and have sex.
We both had said that we don't do relationships; she had an ex-boyfriend she had to see as a business partner, but he would stay at hers' as he lives in a different city. I was dating several other woman at the same time and was open about it with my partner.
But as time went on I started to fall in love with her and let my emotions rule my mind. I was starting to get jealous about her ex and would sleep with other girls just to make myself feel better.
We had a fall out on Thursday, so I slept with another girl on Friday night, I sent my partner flowers on Saturday morning and spent all day drinking as I was love sick. She rang and thanked me for the flowers and came to the pub to meet me. We had a couple of drinks and went home for some wine. I acted like a pain in the arse and she left, so I went into town and pulled another girl and slept with her Saturday night.
My partner has only ever dated multi-millionaires and famous people - I am neither of these things, and no in my heart of hearts it will never work. I can't hand being a friend with benefits when I am in love with her. Is the right thing to do; to cease all contact with her, or can I fall out of love with her and maintain a FWB relationship? | Can I maintain a relationship with an FWB when I am in love with her, but she won't commit to mutual exclusivity? |
t3_uf0dp | relationship_advice | [22/M] - Havent had sex in 2 years...need advice | Okay, so as the title says, I am 22 and havent had ANY sexual contact with a girl in about 2 years (no kisses, boob grabs..nothing). Im not a virgin, I have had multiple sexual partners before and this is the first time ive ever gone this long without any sexual contact since I was like...13. A little about myself, im shy,shorter(5'6") and bald and a soccer player and living at home for the time being until friends move back into town, and im going to school to be a nurse. Im not ugly, but being short and bald doesnt help my cause. I also suffer from social anxiety and I am socially awkward, meeting new people (especially cute girls) my heart races, I can hear my heart pounding in my ears and my adrenaline starts going off and I get flustered. I take 10mg Citalopram every day (prescribed by doc) and I am a occasional smoker of the ganj. Also, I go out to bars and clubs with my friends every once in a while, but when im there I usually will not look at other girls and will not approach them. Its like I get tunnel vision and am only thinking about not looking stupid in front of all these attractive ladies.
I would like to know if anyone else has gone through this and beat it, what did you do? Any advice on what I should I do? I feel like I have a list of things stacking against me and cant think of a way to make this any better except by moving out. How do you approach new (attractive) people and talk to them? I feel like people have a script given to them when they talk to new people and I missed that handout. Help me reddit, any advice is welcome. | no sexual contact for 2 years, I have social anxiety. Need advice how to beat it and talk to cute girls. |
t3_12y4rf | relationships | Explaining to a person you found someone else [21 m] [24 m] | So a while ago, I [21] started going out on a few casual dates, and ended up meeting a few great people. Eventually though I started clicking very well with one of the people, and we started to see each other exclusively.
Today one of the people I had gone on a few dates with (4 times, slept together once) sent me at ext saying he wanted to meet up again. I told this to who I am seeing right now, and he is fine with me meeting up with the other guy in person to let him know I am seeing someone now. It's been about a month since me and the guy who I am not dating had actually met up in person, and we've exchanged a handful of texts since then. Me and the guy who I am exclusive with have only been exclusive for about half a month, so everything is still very new.
So the issue I am having is I am terrible at doing this, and I have no idea how to say that I am seeing someone now without seeming like a total prick. Any advice on what I could do or say? | I am in a new relationship, and need to tell someone who I was on more than a couple dates I am not open to dating anymore in person without sounds like a total prick. |
t3_41xflc | offmychest | Everytime I talk about moving away they do this. | My family likes to try to find ways to keep me here when I discuss job openings. They don't like me and the feeling is mutual? So why do they do this? Because of the grandkids. See, if I left, it would mean my two children would go with me and they would never see them again. I've had my mother make up some pretty cruel accusations about me and even try to get me back together with my abusive ex. When I started calling her out on her emotional abuse, of course she is quick to call me a liar. It's sad that she would rather label me with illnesses when speaking about me to our former nanny, than own up to her awful past behavior. Lately, I think she's realized it will take more than ruining my image to keep me here. She has instead been trying to hint that I'm not good enough for the job positions I've been seeking. She even let's my sister chime in with the passive aggressive behavior. I really wish the people that my family converse with would get to know me instead of listening to them and then treating me like I'm disabled or the source of some huge inside joke. The only reason I'm posting this here is because I realized today that people I work with actually do have access to this "social media" account. Enjoy, trolls. See you tomorrow. | my mom essentially plays the "hush child, it's the fever talking" card when not wanting to own up to her emotional abuse . |
t3_1p5sp9 | relationships | How do I [17M] stop having feelings for my ex-gf [17F] of three months? | About three months ago, my girlfriend of seven months broke up with me. She was my first girlfriend and I her second boyfriend. I thought we were great together, we were great friends for about a year before I asked her out. In the relationship we never really had any problems at all, until she randomly stops being affectionate and then a few days later tells me she fell in love with me as a friend, and wanted that back. I tried for a bit to stay acquaintances, but it was too hard. We talk occasionally now, but the problem is that I cant get her off my mind.
I'm a high-school senior, I'm actually class president, and I'm involved in a bunch of clubs, so I'm not a total loner, I talk to a lot of girls, many of whom are awfully attractive and smart, as my ex-gf was. My ex-gf and I share one class, and I see her in the halls sometimes, but that's it. I don't know what to do to stop thinking about her in that way. I really loved her, and, as far as I know, I was a fantastic boyfriend, she was always my top priority. Her on the other hand, after she broke up with me I realized that she really wasn't all that great of a gf, I was always second tier to her friends and such. How do I stop having feelings for her? I haven't told anyone, outside of who's reading this about it. More time may be just what I need. | Dated a girl for seven months, broke up three months ago, I can't stop having feelings for her, even though I'm very social and talk with other girls. She was my first girlfriend. |
t3_14ncyg | pettyrevenge | I hope your bedsheets were real effing sticky | I have a little revenge story. It's nice and petty, and it has a special place in my heart as my first act of satisfying small revenge ever.
My freshman year of college, I was doing some laundry in my building. The washer was done, and although there weren't many machines open, I found an available dryer close to mine, opened it up, and put a dryer sheet in. I step a few feet down to take my clothes out of my washing machine, gather them in my arms to throw up into the dryer, and turn around to find a guy pushing a button on my machine to start it and quickly walking out of the room.
I had to walk across the room (which because of the layout requires walking out of the room and in a different entrance) to find another available dryer, dropping some articles of clean wet clothing on the dirty basement floor along the way (I didn't have a basket, only my cloth hamper I didn't want to get all wet).
At this point I wasn't sure the guy was aware that he stole the machine I was already halfway using and fucked my shit up, but in a way his obliviousness made me even angrier. I poured a capful of detergent, made sure he was gone and nobody else was on their way in, and paused his machine. I opened it up, poured the detergent on his two bedsheets (which by the way would have been much easier to wad up and carry across the room than two armful of socks and t-shirts), and started it back up. I left, and never found out how it turned out. To be honest, I'm still curious to know exactly what detergent added to a dryer load will do. | Guy makes me drop my wad on what was supposed to be a dryer run, gets something of a mess on his sheets. |
t3_239rlu | relationship_advice | [20/m] Not sure if she [19/f] is interested in me anymore, how should I advance? | Some background info will probably help. So I have met this girl back in November but I have been so busy that I didn't have time to get to know her better. In March this year I have finally come round to meeting with a group of friend together with her. This only lasted a month since she does not live in the same country as me and went back to her parents. Now she is coming back in a month or so. From the get togethers it seemed like she was interested in me (generally being friendly towards me and most of all prolonged eye contact whilst smiling at random moments). I am generally a bit shy and quiet (also I have no dating experience) so I probably didn't come across as someone that is interested in her. Now that she has left I tried to chat with her facebook, however it's a bit of a one way conversation, I try to keep the conversation going but she doesn't, but at the same time she is not just ignoring me (I ask her about something she will always answer not in a way that you would answer to someone that is bothering you and you want to ignore - not sure how else to explain this. Also she will always put at least one smiley emoticon in there - this is probably a bit of a childish observation but not something I would do if I were trying to get rid of the person)
These mixed messages got me so confused now is she interested in me or not and don't know how to progress with this.
Some things I have though of:
-Straight up ask her about it.
-Wait until she comes back and ask her out in person.
-Keep trying to talk to her on fb.
I would probably just wait until she comes back (I would prefer to get to know her in person rather then online) but I'm kind of worried that she might just think I'm not interested. | Met a girl, though she was interested in me now that I talk to her on fb it doesn't seem that way. |
t3_3uskzm | relationship_advice | My boyfriend [19/m] and I [19/f] have a pretty big difference in values, and I'm not sure if we should break up | My boyfriend and I (who have been dating for over three years) go to different colleges, 4 hours away from each other. He's been getting really involved in his campus church group, a little bit last year and even more this year. Therefore, due to religious reasons, he's made a new boundary for us that we can no longer "touch with the intent to arouse." There was a time when we were having sex, until he decided that was too much. I have no such religious values and was fine with that, but now that he's blocked off a physical relationship of any kind, I'm not sure what to do. In no way do I want to cross his beliefs, but I'm not sure if I like being forced to follow such extreme rules I don't believe in at such a point in our relationship? I'm also not sure if the other parts of our relationship are strong enough to balance out removing any kind of passion we had. I know he loves me, but this confusion is clogging up my mind like peanut butter in a drainpipe.
(Crossposted to r/relationships) | Boyfriend got extra religious, is cutting off "physical" aspect of our relationship- should I just go with it? |
t3_1igvcr | relationships | Me[20M] with my coworker [20F] a few weeks, was it inevitable? | I've been seeing this coworker of mine for the past few weeks. A week or so ago I told her I had feelings for her and was interested in her, and she said the feeling was mutual.
We hung out almost every night since then, and when we couldn't, we were making plans and texting each other. Then last week while we were watching Breaking Bad we started holding hands, playing footsie, and we even made out after she asked me to kiss her.
After hanging out I asked her out to a movie tonight and she said yes. The movie went great and we went out for ice cream afterwards. We then went back to my place to watch Breaking Bad some more and we got to making out again.
I've been falling for this girl for some time now because she's really helped me out in the past few months. We've been becoming better and better friends and this date tonight sealed the deal that I had pretty much fallen for her. After a pretty intense make out session, I told her I wanted to be her boyfriend.
Except when I told her that, she got quiet, and then said, "We should probably talk about this."
She told me that she didn't want a relationship and all that, because "she's a mess" and "bad at relationships". She doesn't think she'll be living here all too long, and doesn't want to get into anything before having to leave. It sucked to hear, especially since we had gotten so close over the past few weeks.
I told her that I understood if she didn't want a relationship right now, but that was how I felt, and she deserved to know. We finished the episode of Breaking Bad on pretty good terms, we still want to hang out and see each other because we share a lot of common interests.
I wonder, though, did I throw it all away? Was telling her I wanted a relationship a bad thing? Did I have a shot in the first place or was I delaying the inevitable? | Hung out with a girl, made out with said girl, told girl I wanted her to be my girlfriend, she doesn't want anything serious. Did I screw it up? |
t3_42ofp2 | tifu | TIFU by releasing The Kraken | This fuck up actually happened last night, but we all know that doesn't really matter.
So I am a college freshman who was bored last night and decided it would be a good idea to drink my stashed rum and play video games. This particular rum was The Kraken, as you may have already inferred from the title, and was down to about one third of the 1.75mL handle. Anyways, the night starts out pretty well. My roommate was out and I had a friend over to drink and play video games with. As the night progresses, I realize that the bottle is almost empty. I figured that we could probably just finish off The Kraken tonight. Thanks to this genius thought of mine, I blacked out in the middle of Mario Party 2...
I woke up in my bed, covered in my own puke. Initially that doesn't sound too bad. Just have to shower and wash my sheets, right? So, while still being drunk, I do a load of laundry. Unfortunately, as I take my sheets, comforter, and pillow cases out of the dryer, I notice that they all still have puke on them (my university's washing machines are real pieces of shit). So I take them back to my room and begin hand washing them with fucking dawn to try to get my puke stains out. As I am doing this I notice that my mattress and pillows also have puke stains. Ok, it's a hassle, but definitely still manageable. I figure at this point I can try my best to hand wash everything and then rewash it all, except for the mattress, in the washing machine. And here's where the fuck up gets worse.
At my university you have to use your student ID to pay for the washing machines and dryers. Every student gets $100 on their account that works just for laundry. If you run out of money on your account, you can send a request to get it refilled within 5 business days. You probably know where I'm going with this... My account is currently down to $1 and now I have to wait several days before I can wash everything. | Thought I wasn't a lightweight, blacked out, puked all over bed, and have no money to wash everything. |
t3_2b6ih7 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of a 16 months aren't similar anymore | Me and my girlfriend have been dating on and off for the last 5 years, we started way to early but we somehow end up together again every time. We've broken up 4 times and gotten together 5, this time for almost 16 months.
8 months ago we stopped having sex, which wasnt a huge deal, 5 months ago we stopped being physically intimate. And now when we hang out we jus watch TV or eat.
We have never really talked about anything besides us and I cant stand that. I've been thinking about breaking it off with her which I most likely will. We've been together for so long now that she is no longer the person i started dating, we dont have any common interests anymore and its always a constant struggle for what we do.
too make things worse, i recently met a girl who i have a lot of things similar with, including hobbies, sense of humor, general demeanor. the thing is I dont know how I'd get along without my current girlfriend because I work for her dad, and her mom is a mentor to me and is helping me get through EMT school.
I dont want to be unhappy in this relationship anymore because I'm unhappy and this new girl makes me happy when we talk and do paperwork and what not. She actually likes talking about what I like. So the main question is is there a point of return, and should I bother
because Im going off to college next year and wont be with the current girl anymore anyways. | Me and my girlfriend have grown apart and now I think I found someone better suited for me. How long (if at all) do I try and fix a long term relationship and not just go for this new girl? |
t3_3gtoxm | relationships | I [20 M] am scared of commitment, and it is hurting my relationship with my girlfriend [19 F] | I began dating my girlfriend much earlier this year. I had a few casual relationships, and in a college setting, was not looking for anything serious. But then I met my girlfriend.
I did not believe that I could be so attracted to someone, both for their personality and appearance, but I met her. We spent a few weeks together, and then started dating. She is absolutely wonderful.
Now it has been a while, and the "new relationship" feeling has started to subside. I still feel so strongly about her, and how amazing she is, but I can't shake a feeling of anxiety. I am about to go back to school, and before my relationship I had been strongly engrained in the single life.
I know that I love her, but I cannot let my guard down to feel totally comfortable with her. She picks up on this, and we have talked about my fear of commitment before. She has been totally supportive and has done absolutely everything to make me comfortable.
How can I truly allow myself to be immersed in my relationship? I am hoping to stop being so guarded, but have not been able to on my own. | My fear of commitment has made me feel like I cannot be comfortable in my relationship, despite how strongly I feel for my SO. |
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