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t3_3jf70w | relationships | I [22f] have been with my boyfriend [24m] for 5 years. How to tell if it's fizzling out or just coming out of infatuation? | We have lived together for 3 of the 5 years and the first 4 were great. We had quite a bit in common because we both studied abroad in the same country and were both attending college.
But now that we've graduated, I feel like we have grown in different directions. I am interested in pursuing a career full steam. He doesn't really care about his professional future and is fine doing whatever. He is interested in eventually getting married and starting a family--but honestly, if he proposed to me right now I would probably say no.
He is really into smoking pot, playing video games, drinking. These are things I enjoyed while I was in college, but have kind of lost interest in them. This might sound mean, but I find myself being disappointed because he is not the person I thought he was. Or he changed from that person. I'm also not really physically attracted to him anymore. And then feeling that way makes me feel guilty, and then I convince myself this is just me being selfish--that relationships are supposed to lose their passion, and we can't do anything about that.
I have a guy friend from a previous workplace. We don't talk that often anymore, but I have started thinking about what it would be like to try things with him. Not necessarily committing to something long-term right off the bat, but just trying it out. And maybe trying out some other relationships too. I would break up with current BF before I did any of that though.
He was my first and only and I feel disappointed thinking he could be my only ever.
I think we may be headed for a break-up. I have been considering it for a good 6 months, but honestly, I'm not sure how to go about it. I am worried about seeing him around in our small town. Him seeing me out with other guys. I'm not sure how the living situation would work, since neither of us could afford our current rent alone, and I don't want to break the lease. | Anyway, I guess my question is, how do you know if the flame has gone out for good, or if it's just not burning as brightly anymore? How do you deal with the logistics of a break-up? |
t3_36vk9z | running | Half Marathon Goal Thoughts? | I have 2 half marathons coming up in the next couple weeks (May 31 and June 7). They will be my second and third of the year. My first half of the year was April 12 which I ran a 1:54:29. Since then I've been running kinda a random schedule because I didn't have any training set up between April and now. Most of my runs even when training for the first half were around a 8:30 pace. I seem to be able to run just under my race pace on even long runs but then race day comes along and it just kinda dies out. I'm not sure if it's the early starts for the races and I'm not used to it.
Recently my runs have been pretty good and I'm very pleased with how I've been running. My 11 mile run was at a 8:00 min/mile but my 12 turned out to be a 8:30 min/mile (I'm chalking it up to bad weather and just a bad day.). This week however I did a 10k and a 7.5 mile. Both were at 7:25 min/mile and I was feeling good when I was done.
So what I'm looking to hear opinions on for my next upcoming half is if I'd be able to finish at a 1:45 time frame which is basically 10 minutes off my most recent half time. The 7:25 min/mile runs were great and I felt good without any issues. The 1:45 is around a 8 min/mile so I wouldn't need to run as fast as the recent runs and it also is part of a Pace Team. | Recent runs have been a 7:25 min/mile. Recent half time 1:54:29. Upcoming half with goal to get 1:45. Achievable? Thanks! |
t3_tm08l | AskReddit | I have to ask because I have been having some doubts. people of reddit who have died and come back to life, did you see anything resembling heaven or hell, God or the Devil, anything? | I grew up Muslim, and I never really had a problem with it. I would see things and think Oh how God has made this world beautiful. when 9/11 happened and anything else significantly horrible came to my door, I would think that it was a test from God. I loved the stories I would hear about the prophets and miracles of faith. Yet, for the last couple of years, I have been looking at my religion, and I can't help but think how audacious it is at times. my prophet married a 9 year old? this train of thought is only 1400 years old? Surely the billions of people who aren't Muslim and follow other religions wouldn't burn in hell? What kind of "all forgiving" God would do that? what kind of "most beneficial" God would allow for this amount of suffering and woe to exist and continue for the people he loved? when i think about how large this universe is, the MILLIONS of galaxies, the TRILLIONS of planets, the idea of God seems to get smaller and more ridiculous. I have to ask the people on Reddit who have died and been revived, did anyone see anything that resembled eternal fire or paradise? anything that resembled angels or demons? God or Devil? And not only do I ask for honesty between us, I ask for bravery on your own part. yes, Atheists might ridicule you for claiming to have seen anything resembling such, and claim its nonsense. And of course! Theists might laugh and jest at your claim of anything else having occurred, but please, don't let that influence your response in any way. I need answers, and the ones I have just aren't doing it anymore. | losing my faith in my religion, wondering what comes next. cant imagine anything but what has been described to me, looking for other people's takes, and experiences |
t3_3g52gw | relationships | Before we started dating, my boyfriend (30/m) invited his old flame to visit from overseas. She will be here in 2 days and he just told me (27/f) | Together 6 months.
This morning, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed and I asked him what he was thinking about. He revealed that he actually had something to tell me, something he had been trying to say for months. A girl he dated (unofficially) while studying abroad was going to be visiting. A girl he slept with and wanted to be with, but she never wanted to be official. "When?" I asked. "Actually pretty soon. I should have told you earlier. I was just nervous." "When??" "On monday."
I feel so blindsided. We basically live together. She is going to be staying for 10 days. I'm a bit jealous normally, but I try to recognize that and suck it up. This just feels like too much. I don't want to entertain this girl. I don't want to feel insecure and jealous. I feel betrayed that he has been planning this behind my back, and ill-prepared because he gave me no warning.
We are incredibly close. We sleep together every night and work together. Our boss rented a beach cabin next weekend and I was so excited to have a relaxing weekend with coworkers. Now I find out she is coming. I understand that she can't cancel her expensive plane tickets, but I wish I would have known. Even then, I think I'd be uncomfortable.
My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand why I'm this upset. He says that we are together now and she is visiting as a friend. I think maybe I'm being crazy, but I feel so nauseous thinking about it all. I'm not ready. I don't want to be jealous and clingy for 10 days. I don't want to be that girl. How can I get over myself and make the best of this situation? | my boyfriend invited an ex to visit for 10 days from overseas before we started dating. He told me 2 days before her arrival. |
t3_3m8o9d | relationships | 20M slept with my 20F best friend and unsure of what I should do | Obvious throwaway and apologies for my poor writing style
Im currently at university (20m) and grew very close to one of my flatmates(20f) we talked and hung out everyday for the
whole of the year and were both incredibly sad when we had to leave for breaks like christmas and easter.
Over the summer we both had a very poor time and talked everyday and helped each other through it. We finally got back to university a few weeks ago and due to her housing situation falling through she stayed at my place for a few nights. One thing led to another and we slept together.
The kicker is, she had a girlfriend for the entirety of last year and broke up with her over the
summer, after sleeping together she said that its never felt right with any other guy except for me and how she had always
fantasized about us getting together. However she says whilst she has great feelings for me she feels she can only ever love
a girl romantically.
This post isn't really about how we can be together but more about how i can repair this relationship and get my best friend back. | Slept with my best friend and I don't know if this is going to be a relationship or the end of a friendship |
t3_2ehhyt | relationships | Me [29F] with my mother [62 F], What would you do if your abusive mother says she's dying and wants to see you after years of cutting her out of your life? | I grew up with a single mother who abused me my whole life. She made me want to die.
I did everything in my power to get away from her and live an independent life of my own. It was tremendously hard but I managed to delete her out of my life for the last 4 years and have been on my own.
She recently wrote me an email saying she's sick and she may die any moment without warning. She said she wants to see me before she dies. Plus she has no one else besides me to take care of her and her death, no family, no one else.
It may be true or it may not, she is manipulative and she will say anything to reel me back in again. I never want to see her again and I will never forgive her for everything she did to me.
What's the best way to deal with this? | What would you do if your abusive mother says she's dying and wants to see you after years of cutting her out of your life? |
t3_3tdx1v | relationships | I [20m] have been dating a girl [20f] that I'm close fiends with for 2 months now. The timing just doesn't feel right after a long relationship with my ex [20f] but I do really like her. | So my ex (who we'll call Laura) and I dated from high school through first year of college and over the next summer. During that first year I became very close friends with a girl we'll call Anna. Laura and I decided to take a break for second year since long distance sucks. I was pretty broken up about it because I was absolutely in love with Laura. I still care for her deeply as a friend and individual. We've talked a few times and it's always been very contentious as we both still clearly had strong feelings for each other. The plan is to talk over fall break and maybe be friends again.
Early this year, Anna and I had been talking and decided to start dating. She knows I was two months out of a 2 year thing with Laura but we decided to try dating and see how it went since we always had some chemistry.
It's been about 2 months and things are going ok. She really likes me but I can't seem to build an emotional connection. I still think about my ex and that makes me feel very guilty. Sometimes it feels like Anna is just a rebound but I try to not let that happen because I do like her a lot. We were close friends for awhile so I really don't know what to do.
Basically I like Anna but can't seem to connect. I feel really bad because I can tell she likes me a lot and in the moment I reciprocate those feelings. I'm just not sure what to do. I have fun hanging out with her but sometimes we just sit there in silence and I feel as if I'm not as drawn to her as I should be.
It feels like I just need to take more time off of dating to fully get over my ex, but I'm scared if I tell Anna that or make that decision I might lose her as a friend as well. If I could go back I would've waited longer to start dating Anna so it's not so much I don't like her as the timing just does not feel right to me. Does this make me a bad person? What should I do? | I'm dating a girl I've been friends with for a long time. Feel like I need time to recover after dating an ex. Don't know what to do. |
t3_2a04vs | relationships | My gf [23 F] gets mad when I [23 M] tell her I'm hanging out with my friends | This is throwaway for obvious reasons.
But we've been together for a year. And our relationship like any other has their ups and downs every now and then but for the past few months. My relationships with my guy friends have decreases in seeing each other and hanging out. I hang out with my girlfriend more then anybody really. The only time we never see each other is either when we're sleeping in our homes, the mornings and when we're at work.
I hang out with her everyday. And the past few times I've tried to tell her lets hang out another day or I'm hanging out with my friends tonight or anything of that sort. She has gotten pissed at me and gives me the cold shoulder telling me to have a goodnight and blah blah blah. Since then I've been scared to tell her that I'm doing something else that doesn't involve her because I don't like having to deal with her being pissed at me for what I believe is a silly reason.
Just today.my friend invited me to a birthday party and I wanted to go. Hours later my girlfriend and. I are texting about our day. I tell her I got invited and I wanted to go after work for a little bit. And she starts giving me short replies to which the conversation went sour. We're going to LA tommorrow and we were supposed to go together to our friends house for him to drive us to pick up the rental car. But she texted me saying I can drive by myself tommorrow and figure out how to drive two cars back home. | my girlfriend gets mad at me and gives me the cold shoulder when I mention I'm going out with my friends. Told her I was going to a birthday party after work and gave me cold shoulder. |
t3_2k06xm | relationships | Me [21 F] and [21 M] seem to both be into each other, however, we are both very shy. | So me and this guy met a few weeks back and we totally hit it off. We hungout together, shared common interests and overall enjoyed each others company. He said he was glad he met me and stated he wanted to see me more.
However, we both come off as shy people and I kind of freeze when I see him in person and sometimes don't know what to say and will end up not saying anything to him.
When we've hungout or seen each other, he seemed nervous at times as well and is sometimes afraid to say something or even speak to me.
Sometimes it makes me think that he might not be into me and it makes me paranoid to shoot him a text because I don't want to come off as a bother if that is the case somehow.
So how can I stop being a pansy and just try to make a move in order to hangout more and get to know each other better? | Me and this guy met, are into each other it seems, both shy, don't know how to make a move. |
t3_3alh76 | weddingplanning | Surprise!! [long post, has tldr at bottom] | So, I'm new to this subreddit. I have a story that excites me along with making me nervous. Let's start with the man of my dreams [FH] and I decided we wanted to get married.
Idea#1: traditional save, save, save. Big event, spend lots of money, but have to wait about a year. I'm almost 30 and I want my first child before I hit that landmark. So waiting for me does not excite me. Plus I got "The Knot" organizing binder and that really overwhelmed me. Plus my FH is not really into the idea of a larger wedding, he has been married before, so he doesn't really want to invite all his family again.
Idea#2: Our closest friends and ourselves are going on a cruise in September and we thought, why don't we just tie the knot on the ship?! Well as we started doing our research, $4000 for a couple of hours does not sit well with me. $4000 for sand, a photographer, an officiant, and a cake for a grand total of 4 people. Not my cup of tea.
Idea #3: (the winner) We decided the night before our cruise we would have an engagement party. Heavy hors d'oeuvres (which my support team and myself are making), wine, beer, margaritas, lawn games, etc. will all be provided for our guests. I figured if all my invitees came, 50 people would be there at the most. Which makes my FH happy. Then, at a certain time I would do a quick change and the stage will be set, so to speak. We will have a surprise wedding.
So I have less than 3 months to plan and purchase things. Let the fun begin! | FH has been married before doesn't want large wedding. We decided to invite people to an engagement party and surprise them with the wedding. Booze will be provided. |
t3_1duhhy | relationships | I[21M] am trying to fix the lack of emotional intimacy with my gf[22F]. | Background: My gf and I have been together for 4 years in a somewhat LDR. We went to different colleges in states right next to each other so it wasn't that bad. There was a lot of up and downs and whenever there was a problem, I would usually yield to her and bottle it in (I realize that was a huge mistake). We had a huge disagreement where we both cried (not a fight, we don't insult each other or shout at each other) and took a break about mid-March for a few days. The break was because I felt I might want to be alone and find myself rather than be in a relationship. I decided that was wrong, I love her, and we decided we would make this work and communicate better and compromise a lot more. Our relationships is much more healthier now that we are honest and more upfront with each other.
Problem: Since I used to bottle it in so much, I resented her for not compromising like I did, even though I know the things I asked for were selfish and unreasonable. Gradually I sort of distanced myself. I mean, I was a great boyfriend before, lovey dovey and all that but I feel like as of late, I have lost that type of intimacy. Example would be when she comes home, I'd have lunch ready when I pick her up at the airport, maybe flowers and such. But these occur so often I feel as if they are more of a habit and staying with the status quo rather than genuinely wanting to be spontaneous and doing something nice for her. I want to be able to do that again but I'm not sure how. I used to have all these great ideas about what I should get her, what I can do to make her smile and feel loved but honestly I'm at a lost. Her birthday was recent and I couldn't really think or find anything to get her, even though I took her to a nice fancy restaurant that was wayyyyy out of my budget. Her graduation is literally this week and I can't figure out what I can get her that will make her happy. So Reddit, how do I go about becoming emotionally intimate again and feeling that spark, so to speak? | Been with gf for 4 years, starting to feel like a shity bf, how do I fix it? |
t3_3wtlef | tifu | TIFU by missing my flight by two days | Just venting right now. A couple of hours ago I opened my laptop at Starbucks to double check my itinerary. And I did a double take at the date. For like 5 months I could have sworn I was leaving for Morocco at 4 am on 12/15. But my flight was scheduled for Saturday on the 12th. The flight was a no show so there is no chance of a refund or reschedule. So that was about $1,000 out the window. I am not looking forward to explaining this to my friends since going to Morocco was all I would talk about since March. Super embarrassing. Oh well. | In March I bought $1000 ticket for vacation in morocco and just found out I missed the flight by two days |
t3_113pfc | relationship_advice | ExBF (male, 23) said some pretty unforgivable things. Am I right to never talk to him again? | I broke up with my ex-bf 2 months ago after we got into a huge fight. I ended our perfect 5-year relationship after we've lived together for 4 of those years. After we broke up, he moved out and we kept talking to each other and seeing each other on the weekends. We wanted to repair the damage and get back together. We fought terribly again last week and he said a lot of malicious things that really hurt my feelings. He told me that he resents that I make more money than him even though I had a lower GPA back in college, he resents that my family helped get me a job (as a public school teacher), and he thinks that I don't know what real work is because I've never gotten a job without the help of my family.
My mom's a teacher and everyone in this small town knows her, but I also have a lot of related work experience in the field of education. I work in a small town where everyone has known me since I was in high school. It is very strange that my ex-bf could resent me for being a public school teacher. I supported my ex while he was unemployed and he worked on and off for 2 years. I paid the rent, utilities, food, everything. I broke up with him after a huge fight 2 months ago.
So we fought last week and he called me all of these horrible names and again tells me that I don't know what hard work means and my family helped me and I've never had to work for myself. Even if there's some truth to this, I don't think that there is anything wrong with working in a small town where everyone knows me really well and I get employed because of that. So, I'm angry at my ex for bringing up stupid reasons to hate me.
I'm holding a lot of resentment and hatred towards my ex for not appreciating how I supported him when he was unemployed. I'm angry at him and I never want to talk to him again. Is this the right decision? I know that couple's therapy is an option, but I feel like there's nothing to salvage. Should I just cut him out of my life? | My ex is jealous/ resents me, now I hate him. What should I do? I'm sad about how our perfect relationship ended. We never used to fight like this. |
t3_1yijdi | relationships | I [20 M] am interested in my friend [20 F] but there is another guy [18 M] I am afraid might get there before me. | First off I'm super beta. So I have a class with this girl S, its week 7 (out of 10) right now so we have known each other that long. We always talk after class or during breaks we share common interests (anime/movies/music/League of Legends). Other than that and playing league we don't get much contact. I really wasn't that interested until I found out we like a lot in common, especially the anime part.
Now in the class we got separated into groups. I'm not in her's but this guy L is. And I'm afraid he might get there before me. He's moving faster than me to get closer to S because of the group thing. The groups were formed the second week. I think they might start hanging out soon.
My question is, if I should even try, how can I get ahead? She likes Cowboy Bebop (pretty sure she's seen all of it) and I've been thinking about getting something started with that. I haven't watched a single episode of that. Would that be a good idea? I know this isn't a lot of information I can try to add more as questions come in. | Girl I am interested in might be getting closer to another guy. I'm beta as fuck, how do I get ahead? |
t3_1d6buz | relationship_advice | 20M money and parents question. | Lately ive been feeling unhappy about going to work (parttime cashier) and going to school (full time 15 units) I'm always stressed out and always unhappy and my parents are noticing. I finally told my mom how unhappy i was with going to school and work and she told me to pay off my credit cards and just go to school. I was relieved because my parents always wanted me to have a job, but now they see how stressed i am. So i put in my two weeks on Wednesday and im really starting to feel un easy. I don't want to ask them for money. but I know ill be happier with just going to school, but not having that extra spending money is going to make me upset.
They already pay for everything, phone, car, insurance, food. So i feel like a little spoiled brat right about now and i don't know what to do. I can't keep working at the job i just put my two weeks in because i really hate it. | Am i wrong for asking my parents for gas money just to go to school? I know they won't care i just feel helpless and depressed that i have to rely on them more than I already do. |
t3_2q2sf7 | Dogtraining | 2.5-year-old terrier mix loses his shit when motorcycles/scooters go by | My 2-1/2 yo. westie mix generally behaves very well out at the park. BUT! Our big issue: any time a loud bike/scooter passes close to us, he either (a) lunges very hard (if leashed), or, (b) chases it for a little while if unleashed (and he's crazy-fast and gets a good distance before returning). For some reason, it's specifically cycles/bikes AND loud motors together (i.e., zero reaction to quiet bicycles or loud cars... just the combination of the cycle and sound??).
A few issues I have:
- In ANY other context "stay" and "come" work just fine, but he just sees red around scooters/bikes. And I can't always see/hear them coming and react quickly enough (or, I should say, am not nearly as quick as he is, he's Speedy Gonzales).
- I live in Turkey, and even at the park motorbikes zip through all the time, we can't go anywhere 100% bike-free. I'd hate to never be able to unleash him while out -- we're in an apartment, and he's super energetic and needs the play and running.
I try to go at off-peak hours but we still run into them too often, and I'm terrified that he'll get hurt one day accidentally. I can't think of any way to "acclimate" him to them, per se... is there anything I can do here training-wise? | Dog is otherwise well-behaved but freaks out when motorcycles go by; can't really change our situation and am wondering how to train the behavior away. |
t3_4lkiyk | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 2 years, what to do after break-up | Hi,
At the moment I'm sort of on a break with my girlfriend who lives in a different city, but I want to properly end things when I can next see her in a few weeks. Not really looking for advice on that front because my mind is quite set on that, but I was wondering whether I should try and avoid her afterwards when we're both back in our home town?
We sort of share a group of friends, but I know she feels they're more my friends than hers because she thinks they sympathise always with me rather than her. There is a festival we were all going to go to but I'm now thinking I should back out of that so she can go without feeling awkward around me, and me awkward around her, and also so she can feel able to do whatever and hang around with them without worrying about what I think of things or whether she's sort of trespassing on 'my' group as she might think of it.
For the record I know I can plan something else to do with all my friends instead this summer which I couldn't do if I went to the festival for money reasons, and though the festival might include more of my friends there will still be lots of them doing the other summer trip.
Is this sensible? Is it good to avoid her like this or would it be better to try and just hang around with her like normal friends or acquaintances as soon as possible again?
Thank you everybody. | Do I avoid my soon to be ex-girlfriend as much as possible over summer by making different plans to her so we can hang around with our shared friends at different times? |
t3_45ia4b | tifu | TIFU By Yelling ALLAHUACKBAR to A Random Old Muslim | Well I did it... I fucked up. I knew one day I'd be the one on the other side typing a fuck up and I guess that's today. He's still in the stall next to me as I tap away.
So me and my friends are Muslims with sikh humor (get it, not tryna be racist) and so we basically perform our stereotypical duties and pretend to blow shit up when we're with each other. So one day, today, about 3 mins ago, I'm at our prayer place[TM] and so nature calls. I go to the bathroom, whip out my 5 inch hard black slippery iPhone and browse away on Reddit. When all of a sudden I see someone entering. Lo and behold it's my friend, I could tell because he was wearing his Hanes socks that he *ALWAYS* wears. Also before he was clearly falling asleep inside and was struggling to keep awake so he must have followed me in. He proceeds to stop at each stall to see which one I'm in. I quickly recognize his plan and decide to beat him to it. I swiftly ninja climb into the toilet and prepare to strike my prey. As soon as he stops at my stall he takes longer to see if I'm in there or not. SO I LOUDLY AND QUICKLY JUMP FROM THE TOILET, SWING THE DOOR OPEN AND YELL AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS PRAISING GOD.
Then I proceed to look at this..this this mid 60s man with an absolute horror stricken face like he's just witnessed a literal giant huge piece of shit (which he might've figuratively) and my voice kinda went a little like this *cough cough* ALLLLLAAAAHHHHHUACKBAAAAAaaaaa...a..arrrrrrr....r, I kid u not the voice cracks were real. We just sorta looked into each other's souls for a minute before he went off to the stall next to me muttering about the devil distracting his prayers and now his shit. So there it is Reddit. I dun fukd up.
Old man if you're reading this I'm very sorry from the bottom of my cold cold dark humored heart. | Was in bathroom at place 'o prayer. Old man walked in wearing same socks as friend. Decide to be funny and scream praises of God to his face. Ended up as distraction from the devil. |
t3_1qc2u9 | relationship_advice | Am I right in feeling this way? (21M) | My girlfriend (20F) and I have been dating for a year and two months. This mutual acquaintance through which we met has recently made the effort to become friends again after he apologized for his previous behavior probably a year ago. A couple nights ago my girlfriend mentioned that this friend proposed an hour and a half road trip to my girlfriends roommate where my girlfriend, her roommate, the friend, and his girlfriend would go show them around the city, go to the zoo, hang out with my girlfriend's and her roommates friends from their hometown and meet their families. I was not included in this plan.
We obviously argued about this since I feel I should be included in group trip like this. I wouldn't make this a big deal if they had decided to do something around here. Her stance is that she wants to just go with them because they need time when I'm not there. I also know for a fact her roommate (single) does not want me to go for the same reason. As of this point it has been dropped and she is still going but it's been bothering me and I've been talking to my friends getting their input. And I can't think of a reason as to why my girlfriend would not include me.
We have all know each other and hung out on several occasions for the last year. | my girlfriend has planned to go on a group trip with her roommate, all ours mutual acquaintance and his girlfriend and i have been excluded. |
t3_ez7yt | Pets | Your Help/Advice/Guidance Requested | Nessie is my 11 year old cairn terrier. She's exceptionally full of life, crazy and is basically my little sister.
Ever since mid-November she's been having GI issues. Vomiting/diarrhea, you get the picture. It wasn't really regular or tied to anything so we figured it was because she has a penchant for raiding the trash.
First week of December, she got a super bad abscessed tooth. Her face swelled up, had to have it drained in surgery and tooth removed. It was terrible, but she got over it.
But for the last couple of weeks since, she's been going through these swings of absolutely hideous vomiting and diarrhea fits. For a couple days in a stretch, she'll just lose it. Everywhere, tons of times per day. No blood in it or anything. But she'll still want to eat both food and cookies (we hold off and wean her back onto food slowly after each episode). But then she'll be fine for another couple of days, eating normally, normal poop. But then she'll have another fit, just as bad (if not worse) than the fit before.
So I took her to the vet again and they said that it was probably diet related as she is 11 and normal food is too tough on her system but they wanted to run blood work on her just in case (but particularly to rule out pyometra because she was never fixed). Blood work came out perfectly. We switched her to the new mature food and she was doing great on it, until today.
Today I have cleaned up (inside) 1 normal poop, 1 pee, 3 diarrheas, 1 vomit, and (outside) 2 diarrheas.
I just don't know what to do. She acts totally normally. When I took her to the vet this last time the vet took one look at her and said "Haha, this is not a sick dog." I wanted to punch her. I am pulling my hair out. I need help. Please if anybody has gone through this or is a vet, please let me know how I can help her. | Every couple of days, Satan comes out of both ends of my dog, then retreats, then comes again. How do I exorcise this demon from my dog |
t3_igjzs | weddingplanning | A bit of advice | Our wedding is on Saturday. So far we've done everything ourselves - and I do mean everything. Invitations, decorations, favours, we were even planning on buying wholesale flowers and doing all that ourselves too until we found a florist who'll do it all at a good price. We've got an itunes playlist instead of a DJ, a friend is making the cake, another friend made the bridesmaids dresses... It's been a very in-house affair. It's also been very low-stress - I've been totally chilled and relaxed the whole time.
However! Right now, we're getting into the nitty-gritty of the final details. Things like what order to do the speeches in, where to place the cake table, who's going to be there to oversee the decorating while I'm getting dressed, where there are outlets in the walls and how many extension cords we'll need.... And frankly I'm getting totally sick of the whole thing. I don't **care** what order the speeches are in; I just want someone to tell me how it's supposed to go.
And all of a sudden, I understand the people who hire a wedding planner or coordinator for just the last week of it. I always thought that sounded crazy - by the last week all the major decisions and purchases are done, right, so what would be the point? The point is this: The final details will drive you right mental.
Thus, the | bit of advice: Hiring a coordinator for the last week before the wedding seems like a fantastic idea. You should do it. I wish I had. |
t3_21i9rq | relationship_advice | [22/m] How do I break up with my girlfriend [19/f] who was forcibly raped as a child without hurting her feelings? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for about five months and recently began having sex. I was crazy about her and waited a long ass time to have sex thinking she'd be worth it. However, the sex we've had is rigid and awkward since she just lays there and barely responds to it (likes to maintain eye-contact throughout which kind of freaks me out). Last night when I asked her why she was so awkward, she told me that she was forcibly raped as a little girl (the details she gave were horrible) and is still kind of getting through it but is willing to try new stuff at a slower pace.
Well, when she told me the rape stuff I haven't been able to look her in the eye this morning and I feel weird around her. I don't wanna say that I feel disgusted but I feel dirty.
I'm also in my prime and don't want to waste my youth on awkward sex, as fucked up as that sounds. My last girlfriend was into some freaky shit and I'm kind of........ let down. I feel like I've been knocked off a great high. As much as it pains me, I feel that it would be for the best to break up but I don't know how to go about it without ending up a complete asshole and making her feel like shit after she confided in me something very personal. I also have no problems with other aspects of her personality (she's actually pretty damn awesome) which makes this all the more difficult. In all honesty, she deserves better at this time of her life and so do I. I feel like an asshole right now but there's a black cloud hovering above me.
How would you go about ending the relationship so nobody gets hurt? | Girlfriend was raped as a child. I don't have time to wait on her to get comfortable. How do I break up with her? |
t3_2cxg71 | relationships | I F(21)love the "chase" aspect of dating/relationships. I see this as being a problem in the future. | I can't really remember a period of my life when I wasn't "talking"/seeing a guy. I've never been guy crazy, but I've always seemed to have one in my life even when I'm not looking. That being said, I've dated a handful of guys. Most were for short periods of time (couple of months). For the most part, I enjoyed being single and wasn't
I was in a relationship for 2 years, and another for a year. Both of these were with guys I had been friends with prior. One of them had toyed around with me when we were younger (going back and forth between me and his ex), so the thrill of finally winning him over made me stay in the relationship. But I didn't really want to be in the relationship. I then started a relationship with another close friend, and we both left our SO's to be with eachother. At the time, it was very dramatic and seemed like it was the perfect idea. I lost interest about a month into the relationship, and it all went downhill from there.
I've never cheated on anyone, and I don't worry about that. But I've realized recently that I do like the chase of a relationship more than the relationship/person. I also tend to develop stronger feelings for guys who don't show interest in me than those who do. But again, by the time it actually happens, I become uninterested.
I don't know where I'm really going with all of this. I really do love the chase/thrill/excitement of being with a new person. Whether mentally or sexually. I like to be the center of the other person's world, but I rarely can reciprocate that. And I know that's selfish.
I guess my question is....has anyone else felt this way? Is it a phase? Have I just not met someone to keep me around long enough? I want to change, but I have no idea where to start. I probably sound like a terrible person. | I feel kind of trapped/uninterested once I receive the attention I want in a relationship. Want to kick these feelings to the curb, but not sure how to |
t3_k51y5 | dating_advice | How do I forget about a best friend? | I have been friend-zoned. Deep. Very Deep. I am trying to accept this fact, but it is hard. Me and this girl (both sophomores, 15 y.o.) have been friends for years, and i have had a big crush on her for the past year. We text every night, pretty much a ritual we have being very close friends. Recently, I decided to Balls-up and tell her how i felt about her.
Crash and Burn.
She made it VERY obvious she doesn't feel the same way about me. It was awkward for all of 10 minutes, until she started using inside jokes we had to make the mood lighter. After this, I vowed to try to stop liking her, but so far this has been a failed effort.
Fast forward about 3 months to present time.... I have tried to forget about her, but has been hard because of the nightly texting. I tried breaking this trend we have, but it is just weird not talking to her. She has recently hooked up with this guy on my soccer team (junior; probably the biggest tool in the world, fits Reddit's definition of a 'Brah'; perfectly) and he takes her to almost every game and party we have, so i see her constantly.
I thought starting on the soccer team (our school is a pretty good soccer school) as a sophomore would impress her, but she doesn't even pay attention to that I'm on the team because of the junior she has a thing with. Everything I have tried with her doesn't work, and I need to move on.
Reddit, my question is how? How do i just forget her when she is one of my Best friends and I see her at EVERY soccer related event? | I'm a sophomore, in love with my sophomore Best friend who obviously doesn't have any types of feelings for me. She likes a Junior on my soccer team, so i see her constantly. How do i forget about her? |
t3_g1qga | AskReddit | I wish I would never be asked out again... | I am a 21 year old asexual female that, before this year, had never had to deal with being asked out.
I'm not a very attractive person (overweight and homely at best) so all I really had to do to avoid interest was wear baggy clothes, and never wear makeup or dress up. I never flirted, never lead anyone on, and was never seen as anything more than a friend. It was fantastic.
Now, suddenly and inexplicably, my guy friends are asking me out and I don't know how to deal with it.
I don't want to hurt them or ruin our friendship, but I'm afraid it might be too late for that now. They are some of the greatest guys I've ever met and any girl would be lucky to have them, but I'm just not interested. It wouldn't be fair to them or to me.
I feel horrible, like I'm the world's biggest bitch and that the whole situation is my fault though I'm not sure how.
How can I make this right and how can I avoid this situation in the future? | How can I avoid being asked out in the future and can I salvage the friendships of the guys I've had to reject? |
t3_u6wkp | relationship_advice | Alrighty, I just got out of a relationship and now I'm confused as to what a new girl is saying. | So, hey guys and gals! For reference: My now ex GF = **A**. My best friends ex/girl I am talking to = **B**
INTRO: My GF of one and a half years just split and I was immediately taken into talking with a previous very close friend.
First, I broke up with **A** because I honestly lost all affection for her. I tried to save it but nothing worked. At the time of this relationship ending, my best friend's relationship to his GF (**B**) of a few months ended also.
Now, Before **A** (who happened to be my first GF) I had almost gone into a relationship with **B**. That abruptly ended due to her getting angry with me. We stayed friends throughout this relationship even though most of the time **A** and **B** were enemies. (girl drama) Well, after I split from **A** I immediately started getting extremely close to **B** again.
We have been talking, rather flirtatiously, and it seems all is going good when all of a sudden, BAM, **B** goes to dinner with **A** to end their feud. **B** was saying what they talked about and in a sense told **A** that she (**B**) was not trying to get with me.
SO, my call to help from you guys is what am I supposed to think? Is **B** just trying to keep **A** happy but actually wants to get with me? Or did I just get the friendzone door slammed in my face? Thanks in advance for reading! | Broke up with GF, immediately starting looking for new girl, gets close to getting new girl, now confused by statement. |
t3_4mp8hn | relationships | My girlfriend, [23 F] wants me, [25 M] to delete all of my exes from all social media. Is she being too controlling? | My girlfriend of 6 months recently said that she is uncomfortable with me still being friends with my exes on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc, although I never contact them through any of them. She however, is not friends with any of her exes on social media.
It's not like I hate my exes by any means, or keep in contact with them, although my girlfriend suggests I am putting them first if I do not delete them from my accounts. Am I wrong here? I don't see a future with any of my exes but it is nice to see them move on with their lives vicariously through social media. | Girlfriend wants me to remove ex girlfriends from social media accounts. Am I in the wrong for thinking that's a little much? |
t3_1vccur | legaladvice | UK company fails to deliver my package internationally to Singapore, lies about contacting the delivery company about missing package | So a UK based company that I ordered protein powder from fails to make sure the delivery company (parcelforce) gets my package to me in 4-5 days (as per the service, Parcelforce Global Priority). I ordered 14 Dec, and it should've arrived by at least 19th Dec. I send them a message, and they say an 'investigation' has been made with Parcelforce.
Weeks go by, and I decide to contact Parcelforce. They said a report of missing delivery can only be made by the sender, and they then confirm that the company I ordered from had not even made an enquiry. I call both sides to confirm, the company says they did, but Parcelforce says otherwise.
The most disgusting part of this is that the company said that they could not issue a refund until the 'investigation' was completed. After reading some UK and EU laws, I was wondering if they lied to me so they could bypass the distance regulation laws that give me the right to a full refund before 7 days. By delaying, it seems that I can no longer make any claims.
I know you guys are better at dealing with US laws, but I'm hoping that someone here knows what rights I have as the delivery was international and I'm not a UK citizen. | company fails to ensure delivery on time, lies about contacting the deliverer and making an enquiry, claims refund cannot happen till this 'investigation' is completed, possibly to circumvent the distance regulation laws on refunding. |
t3_48r52i | Dogtraining | My dog is displaying threatening behaviour towards my partner- help?! | My partner (26M) and I (25F) adopted a 2 1/2 year old Beagle X Fox Hound a bit over a month ago. We don't know anything about his previous owner, but he was quite jumpy at loud noises when we first got him, very tentative about coming inside and there are a few signs he may have been hit (for example: Partner tried to measure him with a measuring tape-so we could order his kennel- and he flinched and ran away; he also whimpered and pressed against our legs when someone with a claw for picking up rubbish came too close). He didn't have even basic training such as sitting or responding to his name. He also tends to toilet in private so may have been previously shamed? He is a beautiful, loving dog though in most respects and is very placid about things such as having his tail pulled or his jowls flapped (part of the child testing they do at the rescue).
I have been on summer holidays so have been around a lot more than my partner. As such, despite initially favouring my partner our dog now prefers me. A few times partner has come home to us both napping on the couch and dog has shifted to be closer to me and growled at partner when partner tries to pat him. We have made a big effort to greet each other enthusiastically before paying attention to dog to try and combat this. Partner tonight was in the study while I cooked dinner in the kitchen and dog watched me with the food. When partner came over and held out his hand for dog to come to him, dog did and sniffed his hand nicely. Partner then went with both hands to pat dog's face (we know this can be construed as aggressive, but dog enjoys this normally from people he knows). Dog then barked aggressively and snarled, appearing to be very close to attacking partner. This only lasted about 3 seconds but has shocked us both a lot. We both used our loud, firm voices to say "NO!", and I put dog outside and we ignored him until after we had eaten dinner. We would appreciate any help anyone is able to provide, please! He hasn't been aggressive towards any strangers or any other dogs (other than occasional mild growls when the other dogs overstep boundaries). | our rescue dog appears to be protective of me (especially when food is involved?) and his behaviour is escalating towards my partner. |
t3_2x2gp5 | personalfinance | Looking for some direction in regards to my financial future and education. | Hey there everybody,
First off thanks in advance for any help/time anybody offers me and I apologize if this isn't the perfect place for this question, though I looked at the rules and looked around and I think I'm at the right place.
I currently make 45k a year in Utah in the tech industry and we have a myriad of tech companies here starting up or establishing themselves so new options pop up all the time. The conundrum is that eventually with no degree I will top out I assume or start losing out on opportunities to other candidates with a degree.
at the end of Highschool my mom became ill and I had to take care of her so I never finished. I ended up finding better and better jobs with my skills and the lack of a diploma/degree hasn't held me back much yet (objectively) but I know that it will if I want a secure and happy financial future.
So I took it upon myself to complete my GED and now that its done I'm going to go to school full time as well. My question is this. If we're assuming the goal is to make the most money possible strictly from my career and preferably as soon as possible ,Is it more worth it to limit myself to looking at degrees that work within my current career path and try to stay within the tech industry or since I'm just now starting school would it really even matter and I should also consider things outside the industry I currently work in? | I want to start school to improve my financial future, What Majors/Career paths should I look into and would it be better to stick with my current career path to parlay my experience and history into a better job sooner. |
t3_1uaktb | relationships | Me [19m] with my ex [17F] of 2 years, emailed me. don't know what to think of it. | my ex and i dated for roughly 2 years. i really loved her and i am sure she loved me. we were best friends aside from lovers. of course there were problems just like any relationship but being silly teenagers we were never the kind to resolve them maturely all the time. this would be a problem after our sporadic fights always resulting in some immature ending. we got in an argument again about 2 weeks ago and she broke it off with me saying we were not good for each other and what not. obviously it hurt and it was not what i would have wanted but from my healthy perspective it is for the best at the moment as we both need to learn to mature on our own since we've always been vert dependent on each other for several reasons and also we should analyze our career paths as she is a senior in hs and i am onto my 4th semester of college.
it ended kind of badly after picking up some things of mine from her house as she seemed she didn't want to let go completely. after some arguing i got my things and i left it at that and we haven't talked for over 2 weeks.
today, randomly, i received an email from her. upon opening it, i saw it was solely a link to a youtube video of a ukelele cover of the song creep by radiohead. this struck me deep because i used to sing this song to her as she would strum on her ukelele. i had no idea what to think of it. i am extremely curious as to why she sent me that. i have not responded to her but i really wish to find out why. would it be okay for me to ask her or should i give it a couple of days before asking? i know most would advise to not respond at all but if that wasnt an option when would be the best time to ask her? i appreciate your help. cheers. | ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago haven't spoken since. today she emails me a song i used to sing her and nothing else. should i ask why she sent me it? |
t3_1jaxf5 | AskReddit | Where to get financial help for college when my parents make too much money? | (This is probably going to be really long, so be prepared)
I am a junior at a public university, and recently my parents have not been able to help me with any finances. I really am trying to be frugal, and I only spend money on gas and food, but they act like I am a constant nuisance. I'm trying to point out to them that when I got a job last year, they freaked out about it taking away from my schooling and how I wasn't supposed to work in college and that they would support me financially like they did my brother and sister. I told my mom about this last week and she said "We know its hard on you right now, but we don't want you to feel the burden of finances right now." In the past year I made about $4000 which I used mainly for food although I did use a good portion of it to buy (craigslist) furniture for my apartment and clothes for work.
All I want right now is to be independent, but I know that is not possible at all. My rent comes to around $720/month, and other living expenses usually around $250-300. My parents make over $150,000 combined so I do not qualify for any financial aid, despite the fact that they are in tons of debt and are barely paying for me.
I'm willing to take out loans, and I've told them this, but they're just dragging their feet along telling me its going to be okay when I'm getting more and more behind. I'm starting an unpaid internship in the fall and will have to cut my hours at work even more, so I'm really looking to get some sort of financial support soon.
Are there any private loans I can take out? Do I have to have a cosigner? (My parents have horrible credit so..)
(Also would like to point out I offered to have my boyfriend move in with me to cut the rent in half as we've been dating for over two years and plan to get engaged within the next year, but they allow it while they're paying for it, so theoretically if I was paying for myself rent would be significantly lower.) | My parents make a lot of money, but are hesitant and in too much dept to actually support me right now so I'm looking for other options. |
t3_39yt26 | relationships | My [18F] grandmother [70sF] keeps giving me unwanted gifts. | My grandmother (my dad's mom) is always trying to do nice things for me. While I appreciate them, sometimes it seems like her intentions are misguided.
For example, she once purchased some blue jeans for me and mailed them to me, (she lives a few states away) and didn't tell me about it until she had already sent them. They were sizes 00-2, and at the time, I was pretty overweight. I told her they didn't fit, and she really played out acting totally confused as to why they wouldn't. In short, she does nice things in a really passive aggressive way.
Lately she's been trying to send me things for college. I completely appreciate this. However, she'll tell me she wants to get me something like a coffee pot, I'll explain to her I can't have one in a freshman dorm, and she'll send it anyway then act like she didn't know I couldn't have it.
Anyway, on to the current problem. About a week ago, she said her friend was closing a jewelry store and she wanted to buy me a $500 ring. I told her that it sounded beautiful, but I just wouldn't know what to do with such an expensive ring and that I can't see myself wearing something like that. She seemed pretty upset at this point, but then suggested she buy some fake costume jewelry instead that I could take to school and not have to worry about someone stealing it. In truth, I don't want or need more jewelry, but she's got such overbearing way of "suggesting" things that I agreed. I made sure my dad called her and reminded her I didn't want the ring.
Today, she called me and told me she's sending my not only the costume jewelry, BUT THE VERY EXPENSIVE RING. She's already bought it and everything. To be honest, I'm pretty angry. I have no use for a ring like this, and I know I'm never going to wear it. I feel sick to my stomach she spent so much, but I'm too afraid to tell her. My step grandpa is also really sick, so I don't want to upset her. Reddit, what do I do? | I told my grandma I appreciated but didn't want her to give me a very expensive ring, but she's sending it to me anyway. |
t3_2314fu | running | Severe Chaffing(?) Problem - Please Help | Hi, I could really use your guys' help. I've been trying to get into running but have had a huge barrier. After running ~1 - 1.5 miles I get severe itching, painful almost rash like symptoms pretty much everywhere. I have no friends who are into running, so my searches on the internet have me believing that the feeling I'm getting is what you guys call chaffing.
So I bought some Body Glide and have started using and it's helped A LOT, but I end up practically bathing in it. I put it on my shins, knees, thighs, butt, crotch, waist, chest, and in-between my elbows. Even the wind ends up chaffing me. (Although I do live in one of the windiest places in the world)
All this just to be able to run a couple miles semi comfortably.
Does anyone have any tips for me to reduce chaffing by any other means? Is this normal and something most people feel? Should I maybe see a dermatologist? It just really sucks because 90% of my runs I stop because of my chaffing NOT because I'm tired.
I'm really sorry for the wall of text I just have no idea what to do. | I have a HUGE chaffing problem after only a mile, so I cover myself in BodyGlide, still sucks. |
t3_2l1lz1 | relationships | I [M, 20] am in love with a girl [F, 21] halfway around the world and can't get over her. | I'm a normal college kid, in a fraternity, okay socially, but could do better with girls. About a year ago I met this girl in one of my classes, and slowly over the months we became great friends. She was one of the few people I could really connect to on a higher level, both socially and intellectually, which really made us grow really close this past spring. I grew really attracted to her, and thought that she felt the same way.
But I never made a move though, because there were times where she seemed to reject me if I put my arm around her, but more importantly, she was going abroad for the fall semester. We were going to be around 5 hours apart for the summer too, and it just didn't make sense for me to try something right before we each went home.
Throughout the summer we talked all the time, and she visited me (and her other friend), and I did the same later. We always had great times, but again I never made a move, which of course I regret greatly.
Since the summer we've talked intermittently, some days all the time, others not at all which I'm fine with. Many times I've made the decision to move on because I know I screwed up, but every time she starts talking to me it's hard to do so.
Sometimes we talk on a solely friend-to-friend basis but at other times she seems flirty, and it always confuses me.
What should I do here? I feel like this is eating away at me, especially because I can't seem to move on. I thought I could wait until January when we'd see each other in person again but it's been gnawing at me so much I don't know what I should do. | girl I can't get over is halfway around the world until December, and I don't know what to do at this point. |
t3_2v7jy0 | personalfinance | Should I use $5,000 on getting rid of my loan, or buying a car? | Hello,
It might be a stupid question with a straight forward answer. But I need your advice to keep my brain clear.
Me and my girlfriend have been living together for 3 years now. 8 months ago we got a son. We have been moving twice since we met, and have because of a landlord who fucked us over created a **debt of $12,000.** Since October we have been doing what we can to get rid of that debt. **Now its on $6,000.**
So here we are with a debt of $6,000, and still getting it lower and lower for each month (we expect it to be gone by August).
Since we got our son 8 months ago, we have felt so disabled so not independant without our own car. We really felt it during the Christmas holidays. We can't go visit our family without a car, and we don't want to be a burden to our parents and grandparents every time we have to be with them, because they always offer us to pay for our train ticket, or drive us - but we know that they dont like it, but they will do everything to see their little grandchild. But its not just that, its also the time from and off work, daycare etc. So frustrating having to wait for the bus or train. That time adds up in the end as well!
We really want a car, but up until now we have really fought the urge to just buy one and say "fuck it" to our debt, because we are going to get rid of it anyway, just a couple of months more in debt.
So what I need you to do, is to give me some advice, and tell me if I'm being irresponsible, immature or whatever. | Family wants to be independant with a car, but is in $6,000 debt - should we use $5,000 on a downpayment on a car, or to get rid of our debt? |
t3_3cbtsx | relationships | I [29 M] recently cut all ties with my unrequited love[29 F] of five years, and I want to get back in touch. | I met a girl about five years ago, a little more now. She is absolutely amazing, she's got a great personality, likes all the obscure things that I like, she's different from other girls, and she is absolutely gorgeous, I mean genuine model material.
We became friends, and I fell in love with her fairly quickly. She made it clear she didn't see me as anything more. I tried to win her heart, but it didn't work. I eventually cut all ties with her, and haven't spoken to her in several weeks, give or take.
It hasn't gotten any easier. I know it hasn't been very long, but I still think about her all the time.
I dreamed about her for the first time in a while last night. I just feel that if I can't be with her, then at least being friends would be something?
I tried moving on, but I just don't want anyone else.
So, am I totally wrong with getting back in touch? Should I just force myself not to contact her? I know that's what I *should* do, but I am having trouble sticking to it. She has made no attempt to contact me, which in itself says a lot. | Met a wonderful girl, became friends, she didn't want anything more, I cut off all ties, now I want to know if I should get back in touch again. |
t3_44ifdq | relationships | I [24 M] want to destroy my relationship with both my girlfriend [23/F] and best friend [23/F] by calling off my marriage and telling my best friend that I have loved her for years | It has been killing me for a long time.
I love my girlfriend. I do. But it is just that I love my best friend *more*. Which sounds horrible...My best friend has been in a relationship with a guy for about 7 years (she and I have been friends for about 14). I've been in a relationship with an amazing, adorable, kind, considerate woman for a few years as well and we got our marriage license the other day. I can imagine living with her for years and being happy...
But I feel like destroying everything and just telling my girlfriend and best friend how I really feel and that I think either of us getting married would be a mistake...
I don't know what to do. I love both of them. | I love my fiance but I love my best friend of many years more...and I feel like I should tell them? |
t3_3fwhrj | relationships | I [19M] need advice for how to deal with my new [17F] girlfriend. | Alright, to start this off I gotta mention I have terrible trust issues (partly because of cheating and partly due to people just being shitty), so the fact I've even made it this far is a milestone.
I met this girl about three weeks ago and asked her out two days later. (I had tickets to a game and no one to take, I had to act.) We've been hanging out frequently and we've really been enjoying each other. My only complaint is that she's a slow texter and being up 20 hours a day with no one to talk too is pretty awful.
Right, so for the first time in months I've met someone that I actually like. Here's what's making things difficult.
Her last relationship had only ended a few days before I met her and was what she called a "damaged relationship." (She's never dated anyone longer than 2 months.)
Oh, and her father just lost his job so she might not be able to go to college.
And she might have cancer. (She had a biopsy done yesterday.)
I finally meet someone who I want to make happy and everything in life is making it impossible for her to have any happiness at all. She told me a few days ago that she wanted to slow down but continue to date. If I want to be with her than I have no choice to trust her when she says that, despite my last two relationships sharing that similar trait before falling apart and putting me into a depression.
I'm also going to be going away for college next year and while I know long distance can work, if she's leaving for college rather than somewhere local, we both agree it probably wouldn't work.
Soo....help? | I meet a girl I like, and everything in the universe is making it impossible for her to even have a relationship. |
t3_1uhzf1 | relationships | Me [25M] and my gf [28F] 3 years. I want to travel long term, and not necessarily with her. | Hard to explain how I'm feeling. I love this girl, but I am not sure I am IN love with her. Over the past year or so, I have been feeling the passion in my life (in general) depleting, and I feel I need to make a major change to bring it back - I believe travelling long term (~1 year) will re-invigorate me. What do I do?
**My main concerns:**
- Terrified of growing old with regret, settling too early etc.
- Afraid of breaking her heart and leaving her single at 28 years old
Anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice to offer? | Want to travel to re-invigorate life. Don't necessarily want to go with current gf, but terrified of breaking her heart and leaving her single @ 28 years old. |
t3_4u1gr6 | relationship_advice | He [24/m] broke up with me [24/f] out of the blue after making loads of promises | So last week I was left MASSIVELY in the lurch after my bf of 3 months (I'd met and talked to him online for 2 1/2 months prior so really 5 months) dumped me really out of the blue.
Literally, up to about 40 minutes before he was due to come meet me, he was texting calling me beautiful, saying he couldn't wait to see me. The night before he was snapchatting me pictures of a hotel he was staying in for work saying "we should stay in one of these one day".
He basically said that for the last month he'd felt things weren't right, but he was just "saying the right things" to make things work.
He said he didn't think things would go "any further" with us.
But in that month he introduced me to his mum, dad, nan and sisters. He agreed to go with me to my sister's wedding and had planned dinner with his friends for me and him! I mean there's saying the right thing and seriously putting in relationship effort.
And every time he saw me he was affectionate; cuddly, kissy, holding my hand...surely that would go if you had lost feelings for someone?
We didn't "get friendly" (PG friendly) so I know it wasn't that. I've had that happen before and it's nowhere near as gutting.
Has anyone had this happen? How do you stop feeling so duped? Have you done this before - why did you do it? Or do you have any idea why someone would do this? | someone lead me on a merry dance really making me think we had a future and dumped me out of the blue before things "got serious". why would he do that? |
t3_1oera2 | relationships | How do you end a friendship? Me [F22] with friend [M20?] and bf [M27] | Friend and I have been friends for only a few months, not counting the summer where I was out of state with my boyfriend. The boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years, and I will be moving in with him when I graduate.
I stayed friends with this guy for a while because I was lonely and all of my friends graduated and moved away last year. I've got one more semester at school so I'm not really in a position to make new friends. This guy has been nice but kind of boring, we don't have much of anything in common. He is also extremely clingy and crossed a lot of lines as far as constantly complimenting me and calling me sexy, his type, etc, despite knowing that I have a bf.
His last "girlfriend" cheated on her bf with him for a year, so I know he doesn't exactly respect relationship boundaries, whatever he might say. I did ask him to please back off about a week ago and he was really apologetic, but also sent me like 12 texts in the space of half an hour while I sent 2. Basically kind of freaked me out. I told him it was fine, but I don't think I really want to be his friend anymore.
I've ignored almost all of his texts since then, he seems to have slowed down. Do I owe him an explanation, or is it okay to just let it fade by not responding to him anymore and unfriending him on facebook? | Platonic friend came on way too strong, don't want to disrespect my boyfriend so I'm breaking it off. What's the best way to do it? |
t3_31t9od | offmychest | Loneliness is a Terrible Poverty (I feel lonely...) | So this may seem like one of those problems that doesn't really matter at all and it just seems like I am complaining about it or over thinking it, but it has been bothering me for a long time so here goes.
I am depressed...I suppose I can start out with that. It is most likely hereditary as my folks have problems with it too, but my life is definetely a factor in it. I take medicene for it and it seems to make it better. My hobbies help me too. I fish, ski, photograph, play video games. All of these things seem to make my life a little more enjoyable. I have a great family. We support and love eachother, so there is no problem there. Same with my friends.
But there is something I feel like I am longing for. Something that isn't material, and I can't literally fill the void with, and its a relationship. Someone else to share my life with by my side. Just someone I know I can really trust with anything and be with. Someone to share life expiriences with. Except everytime I set my sights on someone, its just so obvious no one feels the same way. In my past 8 years there have been a fair amount of those people, but every time I try to talk to them, its obvious that they don't want to. Its blaitant they aren't interested, but they're trying not to be mean so they just kinda float along with it. It pains me, that people will pity you so much that they mask how they truly feel to try and make it less of a drag for you. This happens every time.
While I want to talk to someone about this, I feel like no one that I talk to understands. There have only been a few in my life, but we have drifted so far apart, it seems pointless reaching out to them. I feel like I bring them down along with me, so its sort of a double whammy in the reasons why I don't.
Meanwhile I see all the other people that it seems to come so easy too, and I envy them. The people that just seem to be able to slip in and expiriment and can tread the waters so easily. | In relationships and socialability, it just seems like I can't function, and I want nothing more than to be able to. |
t3_496605 | relationships | Me [37F] still affected by mental abuse of ex [49F] and it is spilling over into current relationship [36F] | I was with my ex partner for 12. We fought a lot but we also had good times. Although I wasn't physically attracted to her, I thought she was a good person. Looking back on the relationship now i realise she was mentally abusive to me.
It is only know that I'm in a new relationship (we're together almost a year) that I'm realising the damage caused by my ex. The main problems are to do around me sleeping and also me waking my partner up.
Tonight, my partner got up to sleep downstairs because I was snoring (I have a head cold). I went into panic mode.. Fearful that she was downstairs pissed off with me and that there was gonna be a huge argument tomorrow. I ran downstairs to get her to come back up. She said she was grand and to just leave her downstairs.. Which leads me to panic more and an argument with my partner (which was resolved quickly)
This is not my current partners fault it's my exes and the way she would react if something like this had happened.. I would have been in a lot of trouble. There would have been screaming and silent treatment.. Then she would have said she was fine but it wouldn't have been and it would have been brought up again again..
This is just one example there are so many more. She also used to get angry if I fell asleep early or if we were in bed watching to and I dosed off. I have explained this to my partner and she understands (she is great, I'm very lucky to have her), but I do fear that she will get sick of my tears and panicking. How do I get over this fear of disappointing and upsetting my partner. I'm in constant fear of argument not because of my current partner but because of my ex.. How do I get over this. | issues brought up by my exes emotional abuse, finding hard to shake, fear i'm going to ruin current relationship with my fears, |
t3_233bz4 | relationship_advice | Should I (23f) have sex with him (26m)? | So we met about a month ago and hit it off right away. We've hung out at least twice/week since we met and haven't had sex, but we have done everything else. I wanted to develop a friendship and some respect before I gave it up. The only reason I am still seeing him is because he doesn't pressure me to have sex (until recently), he takes me out to do different things, doesn't try to get me drunk, bought me flowers, respects my wishes... I'm just wondering if he's *that* good with women that he's been playing me this whole time just to get in my pants. I've been hurt before and it's hard to put myself out there again. I guess I can't tell if he genuinely likes me or just wants to have sex.
He's always bringing up "his other girlfriends." We met for dinner last night and he said, "I'll be there soon just gotta meet with my other girlfriend first, you know how that goes ;P" Is he seeing how I would react? Is he testing to see if I'm seeing other people too? I'm okay with joking around a little but he's said it enough times that it's making me question what his intentions are (with saying it).
I'm horrible with this kind of stuff, and even worse at opening up. If this is a good and genuine guy, I don't want to fuck it up with over thinking things. Any advice would help! | seeing a guy for about a month, afraid to have sex with him because I'm not sure if he's playing me or not. |
t3_2dl0dl | relationships | boyfriend accused me of cheating, I think it ruined us | my (29F) boyfriend (33M) of 3 years accused me of cheating on him. I have never cheated on him, never lied to him, and have never done anything to make him think he cannot trust me. Our relationship, up to this point, had been the best relationship I had ever had. We trusted each other, loved doing the same things, always on the same page.
I had left town for a week and a half on business, in which time I could not always talk to him. This made him nervous. After I came home, he accused me of cheating on him and said he did not trust me. I asked him why, he said he just had a feeling.
We talked about this situation a lot since then, he now says he trusts me and believes me that I did not cheat, but I am having a hard time of letting go. It bothers me that he could think so little of me and that he would think I could ever do that to him, especially since I had been cheated on by several past boyfriends. Now we fight a lot, I have less interest sexually, and find myself having more fun with my friends than with him.
I don't know if this is something big enough to end the best relationship I have ever had, but it is definitely making both of us think. any thoughts? | Boyfriend accused me of cheating on him when I didnt, now our relationship is starting to suck. Dont know what to do. |
t3_2onxcm | relationships | I am a 30 M dating a 28F and not sure how I feel physically about her. Thoughts? | Thank you in advance for your thoughts and opinions.
I will first start out by saying I have had a few relationships (2 lasting 2yrs+) and have dated quite a bit in my adult life. So I feel I know the balance needed for a long term relationship. Great connection mentally first and secondary would be physical.
I have been dating this woman for almost 2 months now. We are going very slow and I feel we have a great connection. The part that I am trying to get over is I am not attracted to her body all that much. I think it does not help that I have generally dated women who are super fit or just have nice curves. I would classify her as average weight with no real curves.
I know this will come across as shallow but I am trying to really get passed just the exterior because I am really attracted to her personality. I might add, her face too. haha. Health/Being fit has always been a high priority in my life, unfortunately I know it also has added a level of being too superficial!
How have people overcome this or could you not? | Dating a woman I do not find physically all that attractive(body). Have you had that experience, if so how did you overcome it? |
t3_3g79o1 | relationships | Me [30 F] with a love interest/friend [32/M], is it wrong to have most meetings planned in advanced? | So, I always describe myself as socially awkward and a very private person. I don't pick up on cues very well and prefer directness. I also prefer having outings planned out. An example: I say no to "Work's over, let's go get drinks" and yes to "Let's get drinks after work tomorrow".
Right now, I have a potential love interest [32/M] that doesn't seem to understand. He keeps asking me if I want to go to dinner, but refuses to pick the place. I live close to where he works and he decided to text that he was right outside and wanted to see me. I was drooling on my pillow, sleeping for my night shift tonight, so I didn't answer the door, but I probably wouldn't have answered anyway. I sat down with him a few days ago and said I do better if he makes more choices as I have no clue what I'm doing. His response was "I want to do the things you enjoy, that make you happy" and didn't believe me when I said I was happier if he chooses. Now, I get the feeling he is trying to fix me by loosening me up.
I don't know if things will continue with this guy, but it brings somethings about myself into the open. Am I expecting too much with wanting a guy to take more of the desicions? Am I rude for wanting people to plan things out in advance? I like structure and plans, and will change them, if given enough warning. | Is it okay that I prefer to have the majority of my social interactions planned out in advance, or am I too rigid? |
t3_4ndiyd | legaladvice | [Alberta, Can] Me [31 M] with my ex [29 F] Shes moving and wants to take our daughter with her. [9 F] | My ex and I have been separated for about 7 years, and have verbal, split 50/50 custody of our daughter from day 1. No support payments made to either side. She got married about 3 years ago and her and her husband are possibly getting laid off from the company they work at. He has an opportunity to get a transfer to BC. Were Canadian, located in Alberta currently.
Neither of us want to be away from our daughter, so I have a feeling it will either fall to mediation or worst case, full blown court. I have a consulted with a lawyer already, shes telling me mediation is the best way to go but my meeting with her was about 3 months ago and things have changed since then, I do plan to retain her and fight this, but this is free, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask.
My question for you fine people, is, whats the process the Canadian court goes through when determining custody? She has a very good life at both homes, but I am a single income father working against a 2 income household, so she has more "things" at her mothers and is spoiled, but that's the only thing that would be in her mothers favor. I've also read that previous behavior isn't factored into the decision with the exception of abuse.
Do they call character witnesses or anything like that? I'm a great father and I don't think I have anything to worry about, but my ex is sneaky and she said that she has a couple people lined up to take the stand to talk about my "so called parenting". I have a feeling these are bitter exes of mine whom shes befriended and would have no problem making up lies. Anyone with knowledge of the Canadian process would be greatly appreciated! | Ex is trying to move with our daughter, we share custody 50/50 and I'm just unsure of my rights and what happens if it goes to court. Thanks in advance! |
t3_18n24d | relationships | I [F18] went drinking with crush(?) [M19] and friends. Some confusion surrounding what I can remember. | No throwaway cause amazingly I've woken up buzzed.
(I plan on asking the guys I was with about this but I suspect they're hungover as shit right now.)
So I'm completely a lightweight/rarely drink and over did it last night with shots and an enormous vodka cocktail. I don't recall spilling the beans with my feelings or whatnot. I'm pretty sure I went from buzzed to puking and incoherent at the same time and went to sleep.
Here's the thing though; it gets more complex.
Most of my life I've thought myself to be a lesbian. M19 has been enamored with me for a while. The whole two weeks before this, I've been mulling over what I should do, and came to the conclusion that I'm emotionally attracted to him (and on occasion, physically). We've got loads in common and I really enjoy his company in a slightly-more-than-platonic way. I figured he's sorta my exception to make.
But last night I remember very vague flirtation only: he made me hold his hand because I was practically piss drunk. Also feeling up my leg under the table, but he did it to everyone to be silly.
I also wonder about his actions because he was drunk as fuck as well. Lately I suspect he's been trying to get over me, but I have no idea what goes on in his head.
The fact that this is all that happened (that I recall) with him last night makes me wonder. And maybe that's because I don't do enough drinking to understand my behavior, but I'm starting to wonder if my feelings are just out of sympathy or something, and if we're over it. | Though I'm mostly a lesbian, got drunk with who I believe to be my first male crush. Next to nothing happened. What gives? |
t3_1kua8l | legaladvice | First Time Arrest, Summons for Court, Options? | I'm originally from Kansas, went to St. Louis for a camping trip and meeting with a photographer for naturist/nude photos.
Went okay until he brought up this story about how he was asked to photograph nude some place in Cali (where he's from,) and he had photos of it on his website, that I remember seeing. In other words he kept asking how daring was I?
So I end up on the highway of I-44, in the nude. Posing as if I were to hitchhike. He got some shots, I ran into the car. He gets pulled over. I'm in the other car with my boyfriend and we figured they'd tell us to go away, so we drove off. Minutes later get a call to see them. I told them we were doing a nude shoot.
They arrest me. I was booked and in holding for maybe two hours. I didn't say anything else and they didn't say anything to me. They were confused the whole ordeal and apparently I made it more confusing since I was out of state/out of county. They were going to just give me a misdemeanor but apparently their higher up said I was to be written a summons for court.
My ticket says in violation of section 713.070 the penalty which may be found in section 213.070.
I'm kinda confused since I see 713.070 for sexual misconduct but then I see [another code] for it. 213.070 is under [human rights] which I'm a little confused on as well.
I have to appear in court at the end of next month. I'm not sure what my options are. I know it says not to admit guilt as I could be charged as a sex offender which is really, really bad but I'm unemployed and can't hire for an attorney really or pay a fine that I'd get slapped with. | Ran naked on an overpass on I-44 briefly and got arrested. Could've been a misdemeanor but now summoned to appear in court, What do? |
t3_3lrw86 | relationships | Me [21 M] and my girlfriend [18 F] have been together for a year, but I don't love her anymore. How do I break up with her? | Hi guys. My gf and I have been together for a year now. She is two years younger than me and we met in college. I just graduated this year. And after that we haven't been together for a while.
Now here's the thing, she has fallen so hard for me. She says that I'm the first real relationship that she's ever had. But because of our distance and time apart, I think I don't love her anymore. I care for her, but I don't feel the same way when we were starting out. I don't know how to break up with her. I know that it will really hurt her bad. What I do now is just not returning her texts and calls like I used to. I figured that if I keep ignoring her, she will break up with me.
Am I doing the right thing? Should I be the one to break up with her? Or should I just wait for her to break up with me? | I don't love my girlfriend anymore, but I don't want to hurt her. Should I break up with her? |
t3_xz6cb | AskReddit | I took pictures of a guy who stole a car and police need the pictures but they are corrupt. How can I fix them? | I was minding my own business browsing r/videos or something when a car slowly drives its way down our street and parks. Now I recently just bought a house that had been vacant for a while, keep this in mind. Out jumps two guys and they start to siphon the gas out of the car they were just driving. Strange. So I watch them a bit. Down comes a neighbor walking his r/aww worthy dog and the two guys get real skittish and hide the hose and tank they were siphoning the gass into. I then call the non emergency police line. Wail on the phone I snap a couple of pictures of the scene, getting their faces. It turns out that the guys stole the car and one of them fled on foot and the cops need the pictures. **Right now there is a man hunt going on and the cops need the pictures!!** Now the images are corrupt with a message saying **"an invalid second SOI or SOFn JPEG marker is found"** What can I do to recover the images? I can edit if more information is needed. Other possible relevant Information: Taken on a Motorola Xoom ruining Jelly Bean. | I called in some suspicious activity and I took some pictures of what was going on. The police need the photos for a man hunt but they are corrupt. Ultimate pics or it didn't happen. |
t3_40k4k0 | tifu | TIFU when i received a package. | So the other day, I went to get the mail from my new Canada Post community mailbox. At the time, we only had the mailbox for a week or so. So I went down, opened my mail slot and took the mail, including a key for the package door. When you receive a package, it gets put in a separate compartment at the bottom of the mailbox. So I take the key and read the instructions on the keychain. It says: "Open package door 2A, take parcel and place in mail slot." Absent-mindedly, I read the instructions, then place the key in the mail slot. I try to take it out again, but i can't reach it. My dad gets angry, waits on hold for 15 minutes for an answer, and they say a technician will place the key back in my mailbox. The next day, i follow the instructions clearly, and finally get my parcel, which turned out to be my mom's boots. Oops. | I misplaced the key for a mailbox package door, my dad gets angry, and i receive the package the next day. |
t3_1ubikx | legaladvice | AZ - I pressed charges against my ex-boyfriend after he abused me. He failed to complete counseling, a warrant was issued, and subsequently quashed. This isn't justice - what can I do? | My ex-boyfriend physically abused me, which resulted in several severe contusions as well as a fractured tailbone. This was the second time he put his hands on me - the first time was in a choking manner without much real force, but executed with real menace.
He originally pled guilty to the charges of Disorderly Conduct - DV and Assault - DV. However, I assume after consulting a lawyer, he changed his plea to not guilty. My advocate urged me to allow an offering of a plea deal. He told me that a conviction would be difficult, the process of trials would be long, and would make things harder on me in the long run. I took his advice, insisting that his plea include Domestic Violence. He accepted the plea on the condition that he complete Domestic Violence counseling, he was assessed a measly fine of $350.00 and was ordered to pay for my eyeglasses that he broke as well as my doctor bills.
He paid the fine, I received the money I was owed, and to my knowledge he did begin counseling. But he told me himself that the counseling was a joke and he stopped going. A warrant was issued for his arrest, and 8 months later, the warrant has been quashed. It makes me sick to know that he went virtually unpunished for hurting me so badly. My world was turned upside down for so long because of what he did. We had lived together, so all of my belongings except for my clothes stayed with him. Televisions. Electronics. Furniture. I moved 2 hours away to live with my parents, so I was without work. I lost weight, developed a drinking problem for about 4 months, some days I would sit in my room with the shades drawn and just lay there, not moving, for entire days.
Isn't there any way to seek justice for what he did? I don't understand how the warrant for his arrest could just go away. Is there anything I can do? | My ex-boyfriend violated the terms of a plea deal by not completing DV counseling. His warrant was just quashed. How can I seek justice? I don't understand how he can get away with what he did. |
t3_4ttw8q | relationships | My girlfriend [22F] of three years has been feeling useless and worthlese and thinks that breaking up with me [22M] will fix that? [xpost /r/relationship_advice] | So I've been dating this girl. And she's amazing. The amount of support she provides me is just unreal and the things that she's done for me are unbelievable. But she's slowly lost who she was (she feels this way, I don't fully agree). When I met her she was smart, driven. She wasn't like other girls, preoccupied with frivolities, she could hold a meaningful conversation. She had plans
But since she's been dating me she's slowly lost these things. She didn't study as hard for as college exams as she should have. She managed to get into a decent post graduate course, but again she didn't study much during her semester. She's progressively becomes disinterested in things and lately just hasnt been doing anythung and lately we've had a few arguments over that. Like I pushed her too hard towards a few opportunities and she's the type who's like unless I feel like doing something, I won't do it. While I say that right now just take up something.
She now feels very useless and just worthless and doesn't know what to do and how to fix it. She feels that before she met me she was a certain way and now if we break up she'll just go back to that.
I'm personally devastated by the thought of this. Like I can't really accept it. I think that there's a possibility that she might be clinically depressed. But she says that after breaking up she'll go back to the person she was.
I don't know what to say or do. Like I asked what happens if it doesn't work that way. She said wait for me.
I understand that she just wants to do something to escape the void she's in. How do I show her that this isn't the way? | Girlfriend has become less motivated and more useless over the course of three years while dating me, thinks breaking up will fix that. I think it could be clonal depression, but she's not listening. |
t3_nfs42 | legaladvice | (NJ) Debt collectors just emptied my bank account. What can I do? | Throwaway account for obvious reasons. So a while ago my mother and sister committed credit card fraud and took out several cards in my name and never made payments on them. I was attending college and not living at home. I had absolutely no idea this was going on until about a year ago, and they were very good at throwing away any mail I got about the issue. And not actually having a credit card myself, I was unaware of the consequences of this. I couldn't exactly turn them in since they are family, and much of the money spent on the cards went to paying our house's mortgage.
Well two days ago I went to buy dinner to find out my bank account was empty. Apparently one of the suits against me went through, and they took all $2190 in my bank account. I literally having nothing. I can't afford gas to drive to work, I can't afford food. I have no money what-so-ever. I called my bank and found out the total amount awarded to the debt agency was $2500, so they will certainly be taking more in the future. At this point I immediately canceled my direct deposit. But now I have no idea what to do. I know all the debt has been bought by various collection agencies. I have no idea who owns what debt, how many suits are against me, or even how much all of it is (Though I have a rough estimate that it is over $10,000). I don't want to live my life afraid to deposit money in my bank account for fear that it will just be taken from me. At this point I have no choice but to pay for what they did, but I have no idea who to pay. And at this point I'm afraid its too late to negotiate with anyone. There has to be a better option than living like a hobo without a bank account and hiding my money under my mattress. So how to I even begin to put back together my life after this? | Family took out credits cards in my name and never paid them back. Debt collectors are taking their money. How do I fix my life? |
t3_2p5fu5 | relationships | Argument between me (m, 21) and my girlfriend (18), am I justified being pissed off? | 1 year in. We work together. I went in there today about an hour and a half before she finished work to buy some things for Christmas. I hung around the centre to buy other things. Just before she finished I had headed back in, and she said "Are you waiting for me to finish? You've been here for ages."
I said no, I've got heaps of shopping to do.
A few minutes later she finished as I was standing outside the store with my back to it, texting people asking for advice on Christmas gifts. She walked up behind me and said "I'm going", from about 2 metres away, as she was walking away.
Perplexed, I just responded "Ok?" as I watched her walk off, wondering what the hell just happened.
I sent her a text a minute later saying "Wtf was that?" and she responded "You were the one being weird."
I said back "How?! I'm just shopping and trying to think of what to buy everyone."
She responded "Ok I'm at [store] if you want to see me."
I was pissed off and not wanting to go to her when she had been pretty rude to me, so I reponded "Nah don't even worry about it."
We've been arguing since, with her point being "All I did was let you know I'm heading home. All you had to do was kiss me goodbye or walk me to my bus, clearly I expected too much, sorry."
I'm of the opinion that it was fucking rude to greet me the way she did, and am sick of her inability to understand how her responses will affect me. So am I being oversensitive? | My girlfriend greeted me with "I'm going" as she was walking away and got pissed off when I responded with "ok". Who fucked up here? |
t3_3kyiag | personalfinance | Employer refusing to pay for two days of my two weeks notice: Can they do this? | I gave two weeks' notice to my previous job (at a private daycare in CT) so that I could start another teaching job for the new school year.
Because this was the last two weeks of the school year, we had one final week of school and one 'clean up' week (no kids around so teachers could clean/redecorate rooms).
The previous pay date was that last week of school, so my final paycheck should have been for 40 hours during the 'cleanup' week.
Of this cleanup week, employees were only there Monday, Thursday, and Friday, with notice that employees didn't have to come in Tuesday and Wednesday because the floors were being cleaned/other construction.
It was understood that full time employees would be paid for these days (this has been the case in similar situations in the past).
When I got my final paycheck, I was only paid for 3 of the days that week - they didn't pay me for the days that we weren't there due to construction. I was never told that they would not be paying me for those days.
My coworkers were paid for the full week, so I contacted my previous employer wondering if there was a mistake in my paycheck. My employer's response was:
* Being paid for the construction days was "a privilege for current employees only".
* There was "no point" to paying me for those days because I would be leaving after that week of work.
I replied saying that shouldn't matter: I was still a full time employee until my last day (friday), despite having given them my two weeks' notice.
I have had issues in the past dealing with the office at this job, and one of the reasons that I left was that they were rude/unprofessional and hard to deal with.
I'm hoping to get some advice about this situation. Can my last employer treat my pay differently than other employees because I was going to be leaving? If not, what is my best course of action to get paid for these days? I did some searching and it sounds like contacting my state's department of labor might be a good option. | Last job refusing to pay me for days that other employees were paid for because I had given my two week's notice to quit. Is there anything I can do about this? |
t3_3f30uk | legaladvice | What is the best way to approach a prosecutor about arranging a plea deal? | Charge: Misdemeanor, Shoplifting < $200
State: Virginia
To the point, I did it, though there were some extenuating circumstances. Not saying that any of this is a good reason, though it's where my mind was at the time. I've been a long time suffer of PTSD (mostly in the form of anxiety). Lately, I've also been under a lot of pressure at work, and extreme amount of financial stress. To top it all off, there was a lapse in my medication, leaving me kind of frazzled and not thinking clearly. In the middle of panic attack, I made a poor judgement call and was caught.
This is my first offense and I was cooperative throughout everything. I've also gotten back on my meds and arranged to start up therapy again. Additionally, in an effort to show my commitment to fixing myself, I've completed the NASP evaluation (which said that my actions were unlikely to become habitual and most likely resulted from sudden extreme stress) and shoplifting prevention course.
Unfortunately, I don't qualify for assistance from a public defender (I make $200/month too much). I don't know that I can actually afford to hire my own lawyer though, and I'm worried about a shoplifting charge on my record screwing up job prospects for me.
As such, I'd like to approach the prosecutor about a potential charge reduction. I know I'm incredibly unlikely to get the charges dismissed. What's the best I can hope to get, and how should I go about making the approach?
Alternately, am I in over my head and should I simply tighten my belt and hire a lawyer? | Trying to reduce shoplifting charges. Done everything I can think of to improve my chances and get my life back together. Not sure I can afford a lawyer. What are my best options? |
t3_2ck7uz | relationships | Me [21 M] with my friend[21 F] duration, rejected 2 years ago confession now. | I tried to date her and she said at the time that she saw me too much of a brother(brother-zoned!) and that she rather keep it like that. Now two years ago I was a 300 pound guy.
Two years passed, and I'm actually moving states for two years, and she called me out to tell me that she had been very immature two years ago and that she realized that she does like me. I am now a fit, 240 pound guy.
To that I responded that even though I would like to replicate those feelings I was moving(she knows this) and that I couldn't do anything about it. Now a group of friends planned a trip out which is a couple and the two of us. To be honest I still like her, but I am moving for a while and I don't believe in long distance at all.
The question is: Should I tell her that I still like her, and in the future I might seek her out again if I return? -Would this be better for the friendship as well? I do enjoy her company and her a lot, and no other girl makes me feel like she does, but I'm moving to a new place. | My bestfriend told me she likes me after 2 years when I got rejected. Should I tell her I still like her as well, even though I am leaving the state for the next two years? |
t3_1hjt7b | relationship_advice | My longtime friend was a terrible boyfriend to his ex. We've fallen for each other but she says she can't be with me. Help? | My longtime friend was dumped by his girlfriend several months ago. He doesn't have many friends, mostly due to his hostile attitude and severe video game addiction. I have known him for about 20 years and he has never really wronged me in any personal way. I have long been attracted to his ex, even before they dated, and last night we confessed our feelings for each other, kissed, use your imagination etc. I knew he was a shitty boyfriend, but the things she told me make me cringe. He had been jobless for well over a year by the time of their breakup, but she revealed to me that he quit the same month that she received a large sum of money for a settlement. He continue to live off of her and did not actively look for work, instead playing video games all the time. During their breakup, he also threatened to stab her next boyfriend (uh-oh).
Jump forward a few months. I've still been hanging out with friend. He has basically begged me not to hook up with his ex. I told him he had nothing to worry about. That was until last night, went after a few drinks at the bars with friends, we kissed. It seems like we started falling for each other immediately. I hadn't felt love like this for years.
We discussed how complicated it would be to date due to my friends aggressive, irrational behavior. If he found out, I could actually be in danger. Alternatively, he might also hurt himself. She told me she can't be with me, cried, and left before dawn.
I spent today an emotional mess. I feel shitty for doing this behind my friends back - but on the other hand, I don't know if I really want to count him as a friend. And I honestly haven't felt an attraction to anyone like this for years. Is there something I can do to make this work? Or should I accept that we just simply can't be together? | I want to be with a girl who dumped a shitty "friend" of mine. He might kill me if I do, so she says we can't date, even though we've fallen for each other. |
t3_23j8dm | relationships | Me [21 M] with [22 F], feels like a game, trying to figure out what to do after last night. | Gotten continually mixed signals from this girl, finally decided to just not worry about casually pursuing her around late last week. Then all of a sudden we end up at the same music show, and she's a bit tipsy and far more flirty and dances on me and stuff, and even gave me a peck on the cheek. And...I have trouble reciprocating for a few reasons, one of which being the previous mixed signals. In addition:
* Coming from a conservative not-much physical affection family and only having been in one relationship, I'm not as comfortable being affectionate/sexually open in super public places yet.
* I've got some shyness and anxiety going on, the latter of which was exacerbated by a slight amount of weed.
* I had no idea whether it was just the alcohol doing this. Not to blame her for anything, just would feel stupid if she sobered up and didn't give a fuck about me.
So, what ends up happening is I sort of try my best to be near her and maybe brush up on her a bit, but we drift away, she and her girl-friend go to the bathroom, and then try to head out without saying goodbye, so I'm assuming I messed something up?
I would try to talk to her, but one of the biggest sort of mixed-signal things is she's never really communicated much as far as texting/Facebook goes, and I feel weird bringing up where I usually see her at her workplace. Just don't want to leave it on this note, but maybe I'm blowing it up due to overthinking and anxiety. What do you guys think? | Mixed-signals girl gets flirty while having a good time at a show, I fail to reciprocate equally, awkwardness ensues. |
t3_398ury | relationships | F(18) GF callled me predictable in bed , says it's not a bad thing should i (20) M be more creative? | So here goes, my gf of 2 years and i were talking about our sex, and she tells me , "for some reason it was different last night, you felt allot bigger than normal in that position her legs all the way up to her chest , me holding them there , (I'm pretty big by her standards) . But you still did the same moves, you're predictable . I asked if it was a bad thing and i she said no, she went on to state the order in which i do my moves, Oral > Missionary (me on top) Doggy then Missionary again but her on top. I've shown her different ideas about what i'd like to do, and i feel like i do mix it up, e.x fucking her while she's on her side , her sitting on my face . I want to do more physical things like lifting her up on a wall and fucking her but i'm afraid i'm not strong enough, should i be worried , and what fun moves do you folks recommend? | GF called me predictable , but i feel like i do mix it up , is she just being forgetful or should i be worried and reading some sex guides ? |
t3_3xn1eb | relationships | My [25 F] boyfriend's [25 M] friends are in town for the holidays and he has said that he will be virtually unavailable to me, is this something I should just accept? | My boyfriend of 6 months has old friends in town because of the holidays. This is the once a year that he gets to see them, and otherwise doesn't talk to them very much. They're going to be in town for about three weeks and he's basically told me that he won't be available to hang out or text while he's hanging out until they leave.
I understand that it's important to see his friends, but should I be okay with pretty much being told that he won't have time for me for three whole weeks? He said he'll be available, just not as much, but we only really see each other once or twice a week anyway. | long time friends of my boyfriend have come into town for a couple week, is it acceptable for me to have my already-little time with him reduced? |
t3_1yb6ra | dating_advice | Lost the perfect girl for me because I lost almost all ambition in many aspects of my life... | ...my university grades dropped, I stayed a hermit in my apartment, barely leaving except for the few times I went to class and work, also drinking to the point of blacking out every party I went to. Needless to say I wasn't a boyfriend a girl would be proud to introduce. Right after New Year's Eve, she called it quits after almost 4 years.
We are still on speaking terms, being perfectly respectful on both sides. I recently visited her (since we're from the same hometown), went for coffee to chat and saw her at a few parties, and we were both nice to each other. I told her I still had feelings for her and she said she did too, but wasn't ready to get back together, I'm also living a few hours away and that would make it harder. I told her that I understood I won't put more pressure on her.
The thing is I know in my heart that I still want her, and I will be back home in May and I want to do something amazing to show that she never left my mind. I have already started getting out of my slump, attending all my classes, making my way to graduation from my 4 year program, working hard to be the best I can be. I want her to know that I'm still the man she fell in love with, and more now.
My goal is to make a grandiose romantic gesture, but I need advice on how to proceed, as well as ideas. Feel free to ask for more details, and I greatly appreciate any help :) | > girlfriend of almost 4 years broke up first thing this year, I want to do a crazy romantic gesture when I move back to her town in May, I need help with ideas :) |
t3_3qvrn2 | relationships | Me [28 F] with my Neighbor [60s? F] 1 week, She pounds on our wall when she hears any noise... even if it's coming from random people outside. | I just moved into an apartment with my boyfriend. His parents own the apartment/condo and he used to live here in college, moved out and now we are moving back in and have been here about a week.
There is a neighbor who we share a wall with and I haven't met her yet, but apparently she's always been crazy with pounding on the wall back when my boyfriend lived here in college. He's told me about how she called the police on him for playing music softly in the spare bedroom (to which he invited the officers in to hear how loud it was... barely audible from outside the door), and even called the cops on him when someone outside in a house down the street was playing music too loudly. The cops eventually stopped responding to her calls.
I was told that she had eventually gotten better... but I have been here about a week and have had her pound on our wall on at least 5 occasions. It was completely silent in the entire place and I closed a drawer on the dresser and she pounded on the wall screaming "STOP IT". She has pounded on the wall when people outside are playing music and she has pounded on the wall while my boyfriend and I are sleeping in bed.
Her screaming and pounding is really loud and disruptive and drives me insane because I am absolutely not doing anything disruptive that warrants this...
Since it's a condo and she's across the wall, I can't go knock on her door because there is a separate building entrance for her side that I don't have access too... I could only buzz her on the intercom... or maybe write her letter...
How do I address this? She is old and is seemingly bothered by any noise whatsoever and wants to blame any noise whatsoever on us... but it's going to drive me insane.
I was thinking writing her a letter and let her know that she is pounding on our wall when we a sleeping and not making any noise and that it is loud and distruptive to us... What do you think? | Neighbor across the wall likes to blame any noise she hears on us and will pound on our wall and scream... even when we are sleeping. How do I get her to stop? |
t3_3pvoy5 | Advice | 1st Year Fine Art Student. Is dropping out the right choice? | I am going to a very small fine arts college in my state. I am learning basics of sculpting, painting, drawing, and elements of art. Right now going to class is rarely exciting, more of a nuisance to attend. Shouldn't I be excited to go to class with my passion for making art? I am seeing improvement in my art but I feel that something is not right. I want to be a digital, concept artist for video games/movies yet all the students around me want to be traditional painters, sculptors, comic book artists, and book illustrators; I feel out of place. We have only painted and drawn still life objects so far (just finishing up midterms this week) when all I want to do is draw/paint landscapes and people (real/fantasy). I mainly want to learn to draw as best as I can because I am pretty terrible at drawing right now but after seeing seniors work on the wall all I can think is "I am going to be paying $40,000 over the next 3.5 years to draw like that?". I don't know what to do right now, the last thing I want is to spend the next few years in the school to end up wishing I dropped out years back. | Attending Fine Arts school, unsure if it is fit for a digital artist especially with the underwhelming work of the senior class. |
t3_368cvc | relationships | Me [23F] with my sisters [26F/26F] over watching my cheating dad who is sick | My dad is not a perfect one. He views my mom as like a maid. He has a lot of mistresses. But despite this, he is still my dad.
I have 2 older twin sisters. Both of them married. One has a baby girl. The other is pregnant and currently has a young boy.
I am working on building up my experience currently. I am on the process of moving to another company. But, my sisters don't support it. They would want me to give up my career to take care of my dad. They would reason out that they have given up their "careers" to take care of my dad so I should do the same too. They have husbands who are working so it doesn't really affect them if they are working or not. That it is my responsibility to take care of him because I am the youngest, single and no responsibility.
I visit my dad every time I go out from work and every weekend. It pains me a lot when he calls his mistress while I am literally right in front of him. He would send either my older sister or my mom to give a lot of money to his mistress. I don't even get why they are ok with it.
How do I tell my sisters that I am not willing to give up my future to take care of our dad? | My sisters want me to give up my work to take care of my dad because I'm still single and don't have a lot of responsibilities. How do I approach this? |
t3_1csgnc | pettyrevenge | MMORPG Revenge - In due time | **Preface:** Over a year ago, I was in a semi-hardcore raiding guild in World of Warcraft. I wasn't the most well liked, but I did my best to be polite and kind to other guild members.
**Plot:** One particular guildmate enjoyed picking on me and giving me a hard time. The times I decided to retaliate, we'd both get reprimanded. However, if I didn't retaliate, this guy (that I shall call Charles) got off scot-free. He wasn't just mean, he was an asshole. After a few months, I finally decide to leave the guild. Nothing catastrophic happened, but I felt I was better suited going somewhere I was more welcome.
I moved to a new server and I was happily raiding with a new guild. During this time, I found out my former guild was about to announce a move to my current server. There were raiders in my former guild that I didn't like because they had been more than exceptionally rude to me. They had gossiped about me, cursed at me, bullied me, and more without retaliation but the worst was "Charles". Charles had a character name that he had had for 7 years in WoW and he was known for overreacting. I saw my opportunity. I reserved his character name on my server. Then, I leveled the character up before he even knew about the server transfer.
**Revenge:** One day, a friend from my former guild told me about Charles complaining in their VoIP program about "whatever asshole took his name". Charles was drunk and behaving belligerently. I jumped at the opportunity. I logged his character's name and whispered him in game, "If you weren't such a @#$! mongler, you might have your name right now. If you want it back you can (fill in something Charles used to tell me to do)". He went into a rage. He asked for my home address from my friends in the guild and threatened...many things in his drunken stupor. The guild master told him that I might be a @#$!, but he picked that fight with me and, consequently, deserved it. *I still have his character name. | Guy was a dick to me and I kept him from getting his dumb (sentimentally valued) character name in a video game. |
t3_ryh67 | AskReddit | Think you have an embarrassing story? Try and top this one. | So I recently picked up the awesome hobby of longboarding. I have a job that I have to work 8 to 5 every Saturday and Sunday and all day I have been itching to finally take my board to a park that has some nice little hills. I get off work and speed home, pick up my board and and some clothes and haul ass back to the park. I basically drift into the parking lot and pull my board out and run to the sidewalk that surrounds the "lake". The sidewalk goes in about a 3 to 4 mile circle around the "lake". So I hop on my board and take off. I am feeling extremely confident. This is what I have been training for. So I approach the first semi hill and slide around the corner. Now I feel like fucking Tony hawk in this bitch. I'm about halfway around the park when I approach the thinner piece of sidewalk that is surrounded on one side by the street and the other by a drop off right into the lake. It has a guard rail, because safety first kids. But something goes horribly wrong. I over push, lose my balance, and there goes my brand new expensive board into the lake. At this time two thoughts pass through my head. 1. Act like nothing happened and walk back to my car. 2. Denzel's voice from training day pops up and says "MAN UP NIGGA, MAN THE FUCK UP". Obviously I can't say no to Denzel so I hop the rail and go get my board. Luckily the water was shallow so I got it and walked 30 ft up to shore. Told the guy fishing I was sorry for disturbing the fish and walk of shamed back 1.5 miles to my car(Complete with squeaking shoes from being soaking wet.) | Went longboarding, got cocky, board went in lake, tloft went in lake, shame walked back to my car. |
t3_3j2wag | relationships | Ways to suppress feelings for my[26m] close friend[25f]? | I met a girl at a party last year. We talked for a bit, kissed, and agreed to meet at another party the next week. There, I tried to pick up where we left off, but she just went completely cold on me. I don't know what happened, but I asked her out and she said no. Fine.
Anyway, we go to a lot of the same places, and over the last year we've become pretty good friends. Problem is, I've developed some strong feelings for her. When we're together I'm absolutely fine, but when I'm at home or at work I can't stop thinking about her. The obvious way to deal with it is to cut off contact, but that means not only would I have to stop going to some of my favourite places, but more importantly it means giving up a friend. I need to find a way to suppress my emotions, because I'm getting to the point where the only way I can stop thinking about her is to drink until I pass out.
We're fairly close, and she does tell me about some personal things, but she's never talked about what happened between us, and I won't push her for an explanation. We're both single and have been for a while. There's also the fact that she looks a LOT like my ex-fiancee - probably why I was attracted to her in the first place. That whole thing ended abruptly, so I probably have some unresolved feelings there. I'm a bit of a mess, really.
Just to stress, I'm not hanging around in the hope that she's going to suddenly going to ask me out; that ship has sailed, and I need to find a way to deal with it.
I don't think just going out and dating someone else is the answer either. If I did that, I'd just be pushing all of my problems on to them and using them as a distraction, rather than dealing with my issues. | I have strong feelings for a girl I know, but I don't want to throw away a friend just because I can't keep my emotions under control. Any advice? |
t3_1huzl3 | relationships | I [24M] was just told that our relationship might not be working out by my SO [23F] | I[24M] was told that there is no passion in our relationship anymore. For context my SO[23F] and I have been together almost 2 years. We were long distance for a significant amount of time at the beginning of our relationship and will be again very soon. I do not think that being apart would damage our relationship but after last night I do no know how to feel.
She said that she does not feel as though any passion remains in our relationship, that she often is not excited to see me, or have sex with me, etc. I feel as though she misses the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship. This phase was also when we were LD.
I also feel as though part of her is afraid that we are becoming too domestic and comfortable thereby losing her independence. She is unsure of what she wants in life and says that she feels pressured by my friends, family, and I to settle down and decide. She also said that she dislikes the fact that she has become so reliant on me lately.
Finally she also stated that I do not challenge her like I did before. That I am not still an independent person. I think that she does have a point here. I have become a bit of a pushover and am maybe a little on the needy side lately.
Thank you in advance for the advice. I love this girl to death and she means the world to me. I had no idea anything was this seriously wrong until last night. We get along great and are always laughing and joking around so this took me by surprise. We did however have a fight just before she left to see her parents. I apologize for my thoughts being sort of all over the place; I'm still processing. | I [24] was told by my GF [23] that there was no passion anymore in our relationship. Unsure what to do. |
t3_33kh0n | relationships | Me [24,M] with my Brother [30, M] trying to help him get out of an abusive relationship. | So, my Brother (let's call him Dave) is currently in a marriage with a VERY abusive girl (Ellie, for our purposes.)
They've been married for about 7 months now, and in that time She's grown steadily more abusive and abrasive towards us and him. He's talked about leaving her several times, but every time he gets up the courage, she does or says something that gets him going back.
He's a disabled Veteran, and so gets a pension plus full disability, and she is currently operating as his caregiver. I bring this up because I feel it is why Ellie keeps drawing him back in, lose Dave, lose the easy living.
I really don't want to lose my brother to her, but I don't see what else I can do. I've gone to their house to get him, but when I show up, he says that they're fine and asks me to leave. | I want to get my brother out of an abusive relationship, but am not sure how. What can I do to help him? |
t3_3vu8yx | personalfinance | Suggest a strategy for using a 0% credit card to help pay down some other high-rate cards? | I'm trying to get my personal/family finances in order and I could use some suggestions. Most pressingly, I'm super focused on eliminating ~$11k in credit card dept (spread across 4 cards), which roughly breaks down like this:
* BofA: $950 @ 20.24% interest
* Chase: $3600 @ 22.99% interest
* Barclay's: $4550 @ 19.99% interest
* CitiBank: $1950 @ **0% interest** on transfers from other cards (entire current balance is transferred from Chase/Barclay at 0%)
My wife and I were talking last night, and we each have a different (almost reversed) idea of how to use the Citi card and its 0% rate:
My idea: pay minimums on all cards except Citi. Pay Citi down aggressively to free up credit to transfer chunks from the higher-interest cards, thus moving large chunks of debt from 2x.xx% interest to 0% interest.
Wife's idea: let the current balance on Citi card coast with minimum payments, pay down other cards in order from highest-to-lowest interest as aggressively as possible.
Any suggestions either way (or any options we haven't thought of)? I'm desperate to get these credit cards off my back ASAP. Lots of (painful) lessons being learned on this topic right now, so please steer me in the best direction! | Please suggest optimal strategies for using a credit card with 0% interest on balance transfers to pay off other high-interest cards? |
t3_3esc45 | relationships | My boyfriend (20M) broke up with me (19F) but wants to keep it open for reevaluation | My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me two weeks ago. We were fighting about some pretty small things, but really getting under each other's skin. The break up was very sudden and not the result of a blow out fight or serious issue. We still love each other and both have hopes to get back together.
Because of this, we have not been acting like we're broken up at all. We still text throughout the day, call at night, try to see each other.
I've been really confused about where we are, he says he just wants to go with the flow. My concern about this is that I will be waiting to get back together with him, and he will already have moved on. I've been cheated on in the past, so I have a lot of anxiety about cheating, betrayal, etc. I would find it very hard to trust him in the future if while we were taking a break he was getting with other people. For me, the most painful outcome would be if I was holding out hope to get back together, and then found out he had already been with other people.
I brought this up to him on the phone last night, asking him if he would give me a heads up if he was at a place where he wanted to see other people. I also asked him if he had been with anyone since we had broken up. He refused to answer either of these, saying that he doesn't want me to get in the habit of asking him that. Him doing this for me would really ease my mind, but he thinks it's unreasonable and can't understand why I fixate on getting with other people even though he also has anxiety. | Is it unreasonable for me to ask my sort-of-ex to keep me updated on whether he's seeing other people so I'm not blindsided by the hope of getting back together? |
t3_26elcz | relationships | Caught my LDR SO of 6 months cheating on me last night. | My girlfriend (19F) and me (17M) have been in a very good relationship until a few weeks ago and I found it was because she was cheating on me. This is my first relationship and my first serious relationship and I'm not sure how to handle it would really like some advice. I found out when trying to help her with her e-mail linked to her Skype last night and saw some of the messeges she has been talking to a lot that I didn't think too much of.
I feel like I still care for her as the terms we started going out on were great and everything was good, but now I don't know how to handle this. I currently thinking of giving her a second chance, but I'm not sure if it is the right thing to do. | 6 Month LDR cheated on me and I want to give her a second chance but I'm not sure if I should. |
t3_2pbju8 | tifu | TIFU by leaving eye drops in my back pocket | I fucked up super bad. So very very bad. I got some backstory to put the actual story into context. Oh and this happened about 7 hours ago.
So my cousin came to my wrestling tournament Saturday and was going to spend the night, he had a vape pen and some shatter, so naturally, we got dabbed the fuck up (if you check my last post you'll see how I felt). Anyways, we do that, fall asleep around 3 am and have to wake up to drive to his parents house with my family since my grandparents are in town. He has his own car so, surprise surprise we get high on the way there. I should also mention I brought my green rhotos with me.
We get to the house, I'm feeling good, holding it together somewhat well. I lay on the couch on my phone browsing reddit for what seems like an eternity when I have to pee. Well naturally I get up to go and I release a monstrous steam. I come outside and my cousins parents and sister are looking at me, my family is looking at me, and my dad has my rhotos in his hand and goes, "tell me **** why you have anti redness eye drops". Oh. Fuck. "I have no idea man, I think it might be ***'s (friend) since he gave me these pants and it's the first time I've worn them. 'Awkward laugh'". I swear everyone could've called my bullshit by the way they looked at me. Time goes on, I forget about it a bit and I'm sitting down again when my dad asks if I've been smoking pot again. Of course not dad ;_;. He calls me to the dining room with my cousins parents there and they grill me for a bit and my dad asks if i take a drug test would I pass. Of course dad ;_;. So I spent the rest of the time there drinking mostly water based drinks (to not arouse suspicion by drinking straight water) and now I'm hoping for the best. Let this be a lesson to all fellow ents in this subreddit, don't ever leave eye drops in a loose back pocket, things will go very, very bad. | I got blazed on the way to my cousins and brought eye drops, they fell out of my pocket and insta suspicion from my dad. He's gonna drug test me. |
t3_3mh9e5 | relationships | I [25/m] broke with my boyfriend [21 M] of seven months, I'm devastated, and having a hard time moving on | I'll cut to the chase. It was a nasty, NASTY breakup. Words were said, things were broken, feelings were hurt. Anyway, I broke up with him because I caught him flirting, sending dirty messages with someone he used to "casually" date. This wasn't the first time though. And he wasn't the only one.
I shrugged off previous incidents because I really thought he would change/leave his cheating ways behind. Our relationship was toxic from the get-go (and yes I am only realizing this now); people were telling me very early on to break it off and move on, but I was stupid.
I'm not interested in getting him back, but why I am having such a hard time getting over him. It's been SEVENTEEN days for godsake. Last I checked he's casually dating (the same guy) again. He's having a ball while I'm here moping around the house. It's so difficult. I literally could not stop sending him messages. I've literally been on to him for the last two weeks. He isn't replying. I'm tired. I don't know what to do. I think it's time I give up any hope of a post-breakup friendship. I need to go NC--FOR MY SAKE.
Listen to me...jesus, after everything he did to me, every foul thing he did to me, I still want a friendship. I'm pathetic. | Broke up with my boyfriend of seven months. I'm having difficulty coping and moving on. I NEED HELP PLEASE. |
t3_3blup7 | relationships | I [16/M] have a crush [16/F] and was turned down. But now, I'm not so sure... | To start off the girl in question (let's call her Amy) and I have known each other for quite a few years. But this past year, we started talking a lot more and quickly became very good friends.
Most of what happened up until about 2 months ago don't apply to the situation I'm in now, but basically all signs were pointing toward us potentially dating.
I didn't have a lot of time to talk to pretty much anybody at school, because of a program in which I take college courses for both HS and college credit. Because of this, I never got to talk with Amy alone since the little time I spent at the High School was spent talking with people as a group. When I confessed my feelings for her, it pretty much had to be via text message. Thankfully that didn't seem to be an issue (for reasons I'll get to in a bit), so no worries there.
But, after a few weeks of silence, I get a text that could possibly be used as the definition of friend-zoned. I had prepared for that, and respond saying she didn't need to feel bad and how I'll be fine I'll just be sad for a bit, which is honestly how I felt and still feel to an extent.
I thought that was the end of it, but I have a strong feeling that there is more to the story. How do you explain staring me in the eyes from across the room biting her lower lip, and every time the word 'love' is mentioned while watching Legally Blonde: The Musical her looking back at me then quickly darting her head back to the screen? That's only part of it, I'm just too tired to type it all down at this time.
I guess my main question is how to advance here? I feel like there's something that needs to be said by both of us, but I'm scared that pushing it farther than I've already brought it would jeopardize the amazing friendship her and I have, and I really don't know what to do.. | Got friend-zoned but her actions when in around her recently are telling me exactly the opposite, don't know how to proceed w/o jeopardizing our friendship |
t3_4h2kqv | relationships | I [20/F] found out that my boyfriend [23/M] cheated on me through kik | Hi, I recently posted on this site earlier but found out some new information that changes things so I'd like to get some more opinions. I'm sorry if I'm clouding this site, this will be my last post, promise!
So anyway I recently discovered my boyfriend has been using "kik" to cheat on me with other girls. He never admitted this to me, I found it out because he told me he had a porn problem. I looked through his porn history (which I know was wrong) and found that he was going on kik. He initially denied this but after a few confrontations he admitted he would sometimes chat with girls when he was horny and ask them for pictures of their naked bodies. He said he never sent them pictures.
I feel very hurt and betrayed, and like I was cheated on. We live together so we are constantly around each other and i have nowhere else to go. He has apologized a million times, cried his eyes out, and suggested that we talk to a couples therapist or something.
I appreciate the fact that he's so sorry and willing to do whatever it takes to earn back my trust. My gut is telling me to stay with him and give him a second chance, but it doesn't change me constantly thinking about it. Am I overreacting? Would you guys consider this cheating too? How would you guys deal with living together?
Thanks! | Bf cheated on me through kik and now I don't know how to act around him and whether I'm overreacting. |
t3_33x3qi | tifu | TIFU by telling my roommate I think his girlfriend is faking it. | So yeah, happened a few hours ago. Our walls are mega thin, and you can literally hear someone typing through the walls.
My flatmate had his girlfriend over, and she is very vocal when she is being "pleasured". Anyway I heard a lot of noise last night, as per the norm, and this morning when my flatmate walked into the kitchen, I smiled and gave him a knowing wink as to what he had been up to last night.
Fast forward until after she leaves, flatmate and I start talking, and conversation turns to last night, he says "Couldn't have sex because she was on her period" (never stopped me, but other people obviously have a problem). I was a little confused because of the vocality, and I replied, "Oh, so why was she making all that noise then?"
Now we've discussed her noise making before, so it's not really an issue. He says "Oh she was giving me a blowjob."
Now I was very taken aback, because never in my life have I heard a woman moan as loudly as she did, whilst giving a blowjob.
I scoffed and said, "What?! Was she using your dick as a microphone for PornHub's new Singstar game? No girl would be that vocal during a blowjob, mate. I think she may be having you on..."
To which he told me to fuck off in a seemingly genuine manner, and haven't seen him since. | flatmate's gf was loud, turns out it was during a blowjob, said I think she was faking, flatmate pissed. |
t3_4v9bu9 | legaladvice | In Texas, Doctor's office called Aetna and told me procedure was 100% covered with my plan. I still have their voicemail that says so. Later, I was billed $1,400. Help! | I waited months to be covered by insurance so I could finally get an IUD. I found an OBGYN (I live in Texas) who I had an initial consultation with.
I told her I wanted the ParaGaurd IUD because I've had crazy complications with hormone birth controls in the past. She convinced me that the Mirena would be best for me, even though I told her my body rejected the Mirena ten years ago, and I was very confident I wanted the ParaGaurd. She talked to me for 20 minutes about how Mirena is much better, patients are happier, easier periods... blah blah. So I said I'd give it a go.
When checking out with the staff, I was very adamant that I would only schedule the IUD insertion if my insurance covered it in full. I gave them all my insurance information and told her the under NO circumstance would I get the IUD if it wasn't covered by insurance, because I have no money. A staff member from her office called me later that day to tell me, great news! My insurance will cover the IUD 100%. I STILL HAVE THAT VOICEMAIL ON MY PHONE.
A few weeks later I received a $1,400 bill from her office. Apparently, it was not covered.
Furthermore, I find out now that the Mirena itself cost $1250 and ParaGaurd would have only been $70.
I did an initial appeal with Aetna, and I've been rejected.
I can't pay this. I was blatantly lied to, and apparently up-sold. Please help!
( | Doctor's office told me procedure was 100% covered with my plan. I still have their voicemail that says so. Later, I was billed $1,400. Help!) |
t3_1m0euf | AskReddit | Wanting to share deep literary ideas with others, but nobody to share them with. | Hello Reddit,
Made an account to ask this, plus to keep for a long while too. I love literature and examining it, especially classics, and I love to share those ideas with others (currently in an English class), but I'm deeply saddened that I cannot share these fantastic works of art with my friends and family. The same goes for music, movies, any written works (poetry, books, novels, etc.), and art. All my friends ever talk or care about is everything the opposite of school (video games, TV, stupid online videos, etc.) and can't give two shits about anything I enjoy. My family (parents and brothers) claim that they like literature but don't read anything more than a magazine article and they actually think I'm autistic, stupid, insane, or all of the above whenever I talk to them about this stuff. (In all seriousness, they think I have some mental disability because of my love for learning). The only person that I can think of that i can share this literature with is my current teacher, but I yearn for more face to face interaction with more opinions from different points of view on this. Any advice or help on what to do/where to go? Or do I just have to bottle all this up and continue with my stupid routines? Any help is appreciated and feel free to post your own stories of being alienated like this (doesn't have to be about literature) (mainly to make me feel better about myself and to have a good read). Thanks! | I can't share ideas about good books because everyone I know is a fucktard and I need advice. Also, post your stories of being alienated like this... for science of course |
t3_1kdx53 | tifu | TIFU by mowing the neighbors lawn | So today I went over to mow my neighbors lawn. I'm 16 and could really use the cash for gas money. So I get started mowing and everything is going as planned, as I was mowing underneath a tree I looked up and saw a in a nest in a tree that my neighbor told me had bird eggs in. At that moment I accidentally ran something over, I pulled forward more and looked at what I had shredded to bits. I thought it was going to be a small dog toy that i had missed while picking up or something but no, it wasnt. I had shredded a baby bird into bloody bits of feathers. I don't know if it was dead from the fall from its nest or I had just killed a baby. I didnt want to tell my neighbor I had just killed a baby in her back yard. She was a fan if her birds an had pleanty of bird feeders and she had been waiting for the eggs in her tree to hatch for a while. So I quickly got out the hose and washed down the evidence. And of course right at that moment here comes my 93 year old neighbor seeing if anything was wrong while she was holding a cup of ice tea for me. I told her i accidentally ran over some dog crap and she believed me. When I was done i got paid my $15 and she made me some peach cobbler which I ate in shame. | I mowed over a baby bird, washed away the bloody evidence, then had ice tea and peach cobbler as a gift for a job well done. |
t3_2f83tt | relationships | Me [23 M] with my WIFE [20 F] of 2 Years. She is being courted by an extremely wealthy man. We need money badly. Things are moving fast. HELP! | Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
My wife works at Hooters and recently met a old man (60) who is extremely high up in a certain motorbike racing team. I have verified all his details online and seen his business card. He is the real deal. Multi-Millionaire. Needless so say he doesn't know about me or that she's married.
We are in a tough situation right now living with her parents and have been since we were married. We are both going to school and would love a place of our own and some more money.
Basically this guy has offered to pay my wife's debts buy her various things macbooks, iphones, new car and finance an apartment for her upfront for atleast 6 months. He is dead serious, like I said before this guy is legit.
She is not going to have sex with him, but he did kiss her the second time they met. (They have only met twice so far)
It really doesn't bother me about the kiss as I know she is playing him for the benefit of us.
Part of me feels bad for the guy, but on the other hand I think if he tries to seduce attractive young girls like this he deserves to be ripped off.
What should we do? Get all we can and run, live off of him in an apartment for free? I'm worried about this blowing up in her/our faces somehow. | Multi-Millionaire seducing my wife offering to buy her apartment etc, should we play his game and take what we can or kindly refuse in fear of him finding out about me? |
t3_1imx8h | relationships | Me [18M] worried about a friend [18M]. | This is my first time posting to /r/relationships, so I'm sorry if this is a bit of a rough post, but I was hoping to find some help to a problem I am having with a friend.
My friend has become rather obsessive over his crush. Beyond the normal level of affection one has for a crush, he becomes incredibly depressed when he is not speaking or being with his crush. He also understands that his crush will never have any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship, which is all that my friend wants. He understands that this type of relationship is unhealthy, but he has no idea how to get over his crush. As a concerned friend, I was hoping someone would have some advice that I could give to him.
Also, his crush has gone out of town for the duration of the summer holiday, which has put my friend in a bit of a somber shell. I'm just worried about him . :/
Thanks for any help! | Friend is obsessed with a crush, but knows it will never happen. What can he do to try and get over it? |
t3_397e2a | relationships | My ex [21M] just called and told me[22F] that he just found out he has an STD, and I am with someone new now | I ended a relationship with a guy I was seeing since high school, we stopped seeing each other because we didn't really get along very well. This was about 6 months ago. A short while after I met someone else who is really amazing and I'm extremely into, and we've been dating for awhile now since then. Last night my ex called and told me he just got his results back from an STD screening and he has chlamydia. I was extremely upset and probably overreacted by crying for 3 hours...
I went to the doctor this morning and got tested as well, but I wont know the results for another couple of days. If I do have it, there is a 99% chance I passed it along to the new guy. And when, and if, my results are confirmed, I'lll have to break the news my new SO.
I've never done this sort of thing before. I've always been so safe. I am kind of freaking out about this because I really like him and I feel like he would think I'm "dirty" and not be comfortable with being around me anymore. I would have posted this in r/sexadvice but I don't think its sex advice considering I need help telling my new boyfriend that I infected him :( I'm sorry if this is dumb and it belongs in r/sexadvice, I've just been panicking for the past 24 hours and don't know what to do. | Ex bf gave me chlamydia, new bf probably has it because of me and I don't know how to tell him |
t3_2qzvqi | relationship_advice | I'm [17/f] tired of my boyfriend's [16/m] friend [15/m] calling me a whore, and not accepting me as part of the friend group in general. What should I do? | My boyfriend told me that his best friend has repeatedly called me a
whore, and said that I am not trustworthy.
To begin with, my boyfriend's friend has reason to think I'm a whore. I
used to be one, due to the loss of meaning in life, and in fact, I was
one when my boyfriend and I met. At the beginning of this relationship, because I had been hurt so much before, I didn't allow
myself to take relationships seriously, and that didn't change until I
saw my boyfriend get serious about our relationship. However as soon
as I saw he was serious, I was completely on board.
Anyways, before I had become serious, I suppose I had acted kind of
flirtatious with his friend as well. I am "flirtatious" in general, I guess,
because I am friendly towards everyone. But I stopped that. In fact, I even told him I had become serious about my boyfriend, and to stop acting like I like other guys. However, he has continued calling me a slut and telling my boyfriend I am not to be trusted. This guy has been my boyfriend's best friend for a very long time, and I know that his opinion probably inherently means a lot to my boyfriend, no matter how much my boyfriend tries to ignore it.
I am not sure if this has anything to do with the other problems with this friend of my boyfriend's, but this kid won't talk to me outside of asking me to do things for him. He texts me to talk about girl problems, to ask me to sing in his band, or to ask about when I can help him see my boyfriend, but aside from that, he completely ignores me. This makes it very awkward trying to become part of my boyfriend's friend group. I am trying to be a good girlfriend, but my boyfriend's friend wants to make it impossible, it seems. What should I do? | Boyfriend's friend calls me a whore and excludes me from the friend group. Boyfriend tries to disregard it but I am worried. What do I do? |
t3_1dtu9k | relationship_advice | [19/f] my gay guy friend [20/m] is obsessed with his former friends-with-benefits guy [19/m] and it is driving me nuts... | So I'm part of this close group of friends that have hung out together for a few years and recently this gay guy friend (I'll call him C) joined our group since last year (I knew C since junior year and I introduced him to the group). C and J (a guy friend in my group who is mostly straight) became really close since summer and basically formed a friends with benefits situations. Not sure about the entire story, but certain things happened (which is irrelevant) and now C and J have stopped talking. But C is pretty much OBSESSED with J and will NOT stop talking about him. Because of this, the rest of the group doesn't want him around much and I'm caught in the middle because I'm the closest person to C. I've been trying my best not to get involved, but I have been hanging out with C because the others aren't and I felt bad and I didn't want him to feel ostracized...I've asked him to go see a counselor (because he threatened to kill himself repeatedly to J) but he says he doesn't need it. I've told him numerous times, I don't want to talk about it, but he just brings it up randomly when we're talking. I can't just cut him out, because before this whole J thing, he was actually a very sane being whom I relied on with my problems. | It would be helpful if you read the whole thing. But basically a gay guy friend is obsessed with my other friend and I'm caught in the middle. Help? |
t3_28r72f | relationships | Me [21 F] confused as to what's going on between me and [19M] | I need some advice guys (literally. A guy's perspective is what I need) I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now and I've grown feelings for him. He knows this. Anyway notes version:
We spoke literally 24/7.
We met and had a great evening
I started growing feelings and I started to see some changes
Now it's gotten to the point where if I write on his wall. He deletes it. He also deleted me off snap chat and when I told him to add me again he was confused why I was deleted but 18 hours later he still hasn't added me again.
We had this talk about how we both will take it slow and how there's no one else he's interested in and just trying to move on from the hurt his ex gave him.
He also tells me that he's always texting me and that we are going to work out - but lately we barely text and it's even gotten to the point now where he doesn't reply at all anymore. I'm so confused... | guy I've been seeing for a month tells me he likes me and wants to work something out together but I'm beginning to feel lead on and like he's losing interest... but he won't tell me. |
t3_2lf3f4 | relationships | Me [23F] met [23M] on dating site, texting for about 2 months now first phone convo tonight. What are some things we can talk about or break the ice with? | I have not dated for awhile so I decided to give the online dating scene a spin. I met a guy that I find very attractive and we've been texting back and forth for about 2 months now. We are both single parents of boys and we seem to have a lot in common. He wants to talk on the phone tonight for the first time. I enjoy talking to people but get nervous when I don't know them very well. I want to make a good impression on him but I feel like I'm going to be overwhelmingly awkward. What are some things we can talk about? Should I ask him certain questions? Is it possible to flirt over the phone without being over sexual? | First time talking on the phone with a guy I like. Haven't done this in forever and I'm nervous, what should I say?? |
t3_roznq | AskReddit | Why do black teens find "sagging" their pants fashionable? Are belts too expensive? | I understand this is stereotypical, but I live in a fairly diverse neighborhood and I see black teenagers walking down the street quite often. More often than not, their pants are halfway down their cheeks or lower and they often walk with one hand in their pocket to hold their pants up.
I'm all for cultural and ethnic diversity and personal expression, but I don't understand this phenomenon. Our society traditionally values neatness and 'looking good'. Our CEOs, politicians, business executives, etc. all wear clothes that fit well and make them look professional.
I'm very aware of stereotypes / public perception about black teenagers being lazy, walking the streets, etc. and wonder about public perception. If I were in a position of hiring someone, and one dressed well and the other not so much, subconsciously I would have a hard time choosing the latter over the former. | I see black kids sagging their pants. Public perception sometimes stigmatizes these kids, but they don't take it upon themselves to put a belt on. What's the motivation behind this? |
t3_wuin3 | AskReddit | During my senior year of high school, my friends and I pulled a prank to only have the prank spoiled by another group doing the exact same thing, but differently. Reddit, what pranks have you pulled that were spoiled by someone else? | The last week of the school year in my high school was called Prank Wars. We were allowed to pull pranks as long as the pranks didn't destroy school property or ruin the flow of the classes (i.e. having to evacuate the school, entire class room leaves, etc.) A few of my friends were throwing around the idea of the classic throw a pig out to run wild in the school with a 3 painted on it with a note saying that there are 3 more elsewhere and it will leave the rest of the teachers "looking" for 1, 2, and 4 (The school was a large school).
Somehow, my buddy was able to borrow a pig from one of his Uncles and we commenced to paint the three on the pig to let it loose early the next morning at school. That next morning, we drove to school at around 6AM and let the pig go inside of the school through some back doors. When we entered the high school towards the beginning of class, we saw a bunch of students and faculty yelling and screaming about there being 3 pigs in the gym and, of course, had us confused since we only let one pig go. We come to find out that another group of seniors let three pigs, ironically painted 1, 2, and 4 on them, out in the gym with the same premise as our prank, but with three instead of one. Only about 5 minutes after the 3 pigs were "wrangled" our pig was found with the 3 on it by a custodian in the back. Since this prank was in the premise of "destroying property", because their pigs shit on the gym floor, the kids who let the pigs out all got detention for the rest of the week and we were never caught, despite us being the ones supplying the "third" pig. We still, to this day, get a good kick out of the fact that we got one upped by another group of kids doing the same thing, but never got in any trouble for it. | Pig prank gets spoiled by others doing exact same prank. They got the brunt of the punishment and we got away clean. |
t3_2aotkg | relationships | My [19 M] inability to get over my ex [19 F] of 9 months has been hindering me for the past 4+ years. | I dated the same girl at age 13 (for 2 months) and 15 (for 9 months), but over four years have passed and I still have hang ups from this.I had been in a relationship with another person since then. She was very sweet and I was happy for some time, but my lingering desire to have a relationship like my first eventually left me unsatisfied so I broke it off.
While away at college, these feelings lessened considerably, but they still interfered with my dating life. Despite meeting and befriending a lot of new women in an entirely new city, I still have issues finding them attractive in comparison to my first ex. I should mention that even though my hang ups lessened initially, they recently worsened again when I started seeing my ex in my dreams for the past few months.
I believe the reason I'm having issues getting over her is because I'm trying to compare my current interactions with women against the more emotionally vibrant memories I have from dating someone while I was a more hormonal teen.
This doesn't always interfere with my happiness. I'm pretty good about making time for activities I'm interested in or personal projects like art; however, when I try dating new women I'm left unsatisfied.
I know that this is an internal problem. I want to rid myself of or better understand these hang ups so that the next time a great women comes along I won't be off in my own little world fantasizing how my ex was/is more interesting etc. It's been a long time though, and sometimes I worry whether these feelings are imprinted in my mind or that perhaps it is some sort of mental issue. | Recent relationships (with great women) aren't satisfying. I don't feel as close to them, as I did when my emotional/hormonal younger self first dated a girl. |
t3_molw7 | relationships | Transitioning from friendship to relationship. | Hey all!
One of my best friends (19F) and I (19M) have known each other for about four years now. We are and have been very close for the majority of this time, and, over the past couple years, have had some romantic flings that ultimately sizzled out. We've spent time as FWB's, but never had a full-fledged relationship.
Recently, we decided to give things another shot. We talked it through, and realized that we were both the kind of person the other was looking for in a relationship, and decided to act on our feelings one more time.
We're going to take things slowly so that we can ease into the change, though we've already had a fair deal of sex, so it's more about getting used to the idea of going from friends to BF/GF vs. the physical aspects.
Here's where you guys come in. We already know everything about each other, spend a lot of time together, have been intimate, etc., so I need some advice on how to best make this transition. We get along very well, have amazing sexual chemistry, and just enjoy being around each other. I'm just not quite sure how to make it feel more like a relationship vs. a close friendship. Tips? | Going from a very close friendship to a full-fledged relationship with one of my best friends. Need tips on how to successfully make the transition. |
t3_2ccz9s | askwomenadvice | I am struggling (21M) to stop feeling insecure about having graduated a virgin? | I'm obviously not as unattractive as I used to believe since I had my ex for 15 months and mostly screwed it up with a combination of insecurity and my mental health taking a downturn. She was religious and believed in no sex before marriage which I respected, so remained a virgin despite us both being in love. This suited me, since I feel sex is best reserved between two people in a loving, trusting and committed relationship anyway. I also have some sexual hang-ups and trust issues which make me uncomfortable losing my V to any old person. That being said, I would probably have been comfortable losing my virginity to her, but that's a moot point now.
However, I've actually had someone have the audacity to suggest that we broke up because I didn't turn her on and she would have been willing to 'bend her rules and be a bit naughty' had I have been sexier. They told me other guys will be able to persuade her to 'bend her rules' because they're more attractive (sounds a bit…rapey to me?) They've also told me that they think my 'I want to wait for someone I love' is a big excuse I use to massage my ego against the fact I'm a bit of a loser for being a 21 year old male virgin. Finally they told me that my valuing sex is part of my general naively idealist view of life, I should start thinking of us as animals with urges and accept it's so easy to get laid that the only reason I couldn't is probably because I am in fact unattractive.
I'm feeling pretty awful about this. Do women look down upon men who are virgins after a certain age? I know that young men mock guys who they find out are virgins, especially high school/college age guys. At this age virginity is essentially a symbol of masculine energy and social status-hence why it ties so intimately into my self-esteem. | I'm sure I've asked this question before except it was "would you cheat on/dump your boyfriend if he told you he was a virgin"... |
t3_3wo5ij | relationships | I [22 M] am having a problem with my crush [21 F] because she is driving me crazy | Hi guys,
I met that girl in college about 2 months ago and I fell in love with her, for the first time of my life. So 2 weeks later, after we talked a bit and we know we shares some interests , I told her I'm very interested in her and asked her out. She didnt say no, she said she just had a relationship behind her so she doesnt want to date right now. So we still stay as friends
About 1 week later on a house party, she started flirting with that guy on the party directly in front of my eyes. Then she started enjoying more male companionship (because she gets along with guys much better, she really has barely female friends). Then she (half jokingly) tells me about that guy as her crush and about my roommate how hot he is when she saw him the first time. I asked her once when we was drunk jokingly, why she tells me that stuff and she told me "because I want you to notice..".
After that, I acted like nothing happened and we still hang out like watching movies (alone and with another people), party and stuff while she still hangs out with another guys as "friends". She said she was a loner before so it is a nice change to have friends to hang out. Then sometimes she mentioned I'm cute, funny and she enjoys doing stuff with me, then she starts talking "jokingly" about her crush again.
Because that girl actually is a very innocent and friendly person and she also has as much social skills as I do: almost zero, I dont know why she is doing this and what she is actually thinking.
Is she trying to make me jealous? Should I try to hang out with her more even if she kinda hurts me or stay at distance? Should I directly ask her why she is doing that kind of stuff? Or is she just being friendly? Should I ask her out in some next weeks again?
Because I dont have much social skills and this is my first time being really in love, I'm very confused and I dont know what to do.
Thanks you guy very much for helping and sorry, english isnt my first language. | Crush is driving me crazy by her actions even (or especially) she knows about my feeling and I dont know what to do. |
t3_2o6fve | tifu | TIFU by doing a project | My teacher gave us this assignment and said we would have to take a test if we didn't do the assignment. So here I am writing this entire project, staying up until 2AM Monday and Tuesday. I finish it, and turn it in, only to see that nearly the entire class didn't do the project. I am the top student in the class, so I knew I could easily ace the test, but I wasn't expecting only 5 people to do the project. Not only did I fuck up by wasting a ton of time on the project, but I also had to present it in front of the class. I have extreme social anxiety and I hardly ever talk in person so this almost made me not do the project. I also could have been working on my 10 page research paper that's due next week. | I wasted an entire week working on a project that I have to present when I could have just aced a test instead |
t3_3n7f09 | relationships | How long should I [24F] wait before asking where I stand with my FWB [28M]? | We have been sleeping together every weekend and some weeknights for about 4 months, usually after a night out. I've met all his roommates and he's met mine, we get along very well and have established that we're not seeing other people. I was very stand-offish with him at first, and I know this set the tone of our relationship.
Buttt now I know I'm starting to get feelings for him, it's bound to happen when you commit yourself like that. I tried to end it recently because I was sick of only being with him in the bedroom and he said he was confused by my attitude during the start but that we would do more together now and see where it went. Since then we have gone on a couple of dates, but it's still nowhere near the level I'd like it to be.
From reading this, it does seem like he's happy with the current situation and doesn't want things to change, but when I questioned him he said at first it was just about having fun, but it's become more than that for him now.
Basically, I just want him to know how I feel, and ask him what he wants too. I don't know what I should do. Anyone else been in this situation before? | I fell for the guy I was sleeping with. Told him. He said we would do more. We didn't. Now What? |
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