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t3_12s9ph | relationships | I [19M] HATE one of gf's [18] friends, Am I wrong to do so? | GF and I have been dating for 12.5 months and it is going awesome! Had our down moments and fights but we have rebounded and are even stronger!
The only thing is that she has this one friend at out University (we live on campus a few hours from our hometowns) that I absolutely cannot stand and do not know how to tell her, or if I even have the justification to hate her.
GF had problems in highschool with her friends that were girls; one in particular always called her best friend but went and talked very trashy about her behind her back, was spiteful in public about certain issues, and was basically a cunt (pardon my French.)
There were few "Friends" like this for her, but non really to this extreme. Fast forward to college where she is finally free of all of the bullshit and here comes along another girl. GF is pretty friendly with her, trusting her, but I HATE her. Everything about this girl reeks of fake. She wants the world to revolve around her, is exclamatory of everything SHE does: will interrupt GF, or anybody for that mater, to upstage them with some accomplishment she has done today,while the speaker is saying a little victory of the day to the rest of the group.
All in al, I am afraid of GF getting friendly with this unsavory character, only to be shot down by another so called friend.
Am I wrong for not trusting this girl to the point that I get angry just by being (Or GF being) in her presence? Or is this more of an issue about my character than her own!
If I am the wrong one, please be constructive in ways that I can change, as I do not like when there is somebody in my life that I do not like. | GF has had friend problems through HS, comes to college with fresh start, I am only Friend, finds friends who are great excecpt one who I think is very fake. I hat that girl, Am I wrong? |
t3_3lgmxt | relationships | Me [20 M] with [18 F]. Seeing each other for 2-3 weeks. Should I stop seeing her because she doesn't want to have sex, ever. | Throwaway account.
I'm a transfer student at a university in Mid-West America, at this University only for the year.
Met girl first week here, really hit it off. Get along great, I've never gotten on with someone so well so quickly. Friendly/flirty for week or two then progress to seeing each other. Really happy, I'm liking her more and more, physically things between us are heating up gradually between us but nothing really over PG 12.
Today she just met me and said she wants things to slow down between us physically. Fine I understand and apologise for moving things too quickly.
Then she says she wants me to know that for her sex isn't an option in a relationship (I'm assuming she meant pre-marital) and that if sex is something I want we should end things here.
Sex is something I want. I'm a virgin, and not through any clear choice of my own. I'd be fine with waiting and taking things slow because I really like her, she's been by far the highlight of my transfer here. But knowing that it can never happen, never progress to sex means I really think I should just end it now. Especially because I'm only here for 8 more months so it could never be a serious long-term relationship anyway, and I really just want something more casual and fun.
I guess I've already decided what to do, I'm mainly looking for advice and help on how to do it. And whether or not we could still be friends after. | Girl I've been seeing for a couple of weeks tells me sex is not an option for her in a relationship. I want sex. How do I end this as well as possible and possibly stay friends after? |
t3_178pug | BreakUps | Girlfriend [20] of a bit over 2 and a half years says she wants to reevaluate things, and wants a break, indefinitely. | my girlfriend of 2.5 years [F/20] and me [M/20] have probably been arguing more severely last week. (Wednesday-Friday)
Saturday she told me she wanted a day to herself for Sunday. We had plans for the weekend and everything was shot, so i was a little bummed, and she's never asked for a day away in the entire relationship.
I went over Sunday night after I couldn't take being away from her around 10:30, and we ended up talking and crying until 2:30am and she was sure she wanted a break and reevaluate. she told me she was unhappy with the way things were, and that we were too involved with each other, and that we don't do anything really anymore. She also told me that this wasn't something she had been planning.
After crying and just cuddling and things nothing felt like it was gone, the feelings were all still there, and it's obvious we are still in love, we even kissed, and i had asked her one last time?, but she said it would be a bad idea. so we didn't. but everyfuckingthing still had that spark, the love is still there.
I'm just so confused how all this can just end so quickly. She hasn't really talked to me since, and I'm trying my best to not talk to her as well.
it's terribly hard, and every little thing reminds me of her.
you have to understand that since we were together we haven't really spent more than a week and a half apart. and haven't not talked to each other...the entire time we've been together. We had also lived together, (complicated but we did on and off).
It was all so sudden. There was so much time and energy and love invested. I know every tiny little thing about her. And for all I know, she may be gone.
I'm trying really hard to give her space. It's all everyone is saying to do. I'm just worried that she won't come back, that her friends are going to talk me down, and that she'll think differently about how she truly feels. | GF of 2.5 years left me sunday, and wants space, and I need help trying to accept this. |
t3_3ab7xy | personalfinance | No debt, substantial savings, 401k Matched, soon to be full time Master's student to receive 25k a year...how can I best use it? | I have been employed the past 2 years and have matched my 401k to the max through my employer. Additionally, I have no student debt and basically a car payment that comes out of my savings and has been budgeted for.
I will be a Master's student this fall (quitting my job) and will be receiving a stipend of 25k a year with tuition already paid for and an extra 1k to cover books etc. I will be living at home with my folks, and have relatively no expenses. The program is 2 years and in the summer we are required to get an internship (extra money there). I have already saved more than enough for a rainy day and have income there to even throw towards more investing.
I do not necessarily want a home because I do not know where I will be living in 2 years upon program completion, however I am assured DC is a highly possible outcome. If I were to buy a home it would be in Az with my folks basically managing it once I move away. Other than that how could I best take advantage of my situation?
Where would you allocate this extra money per year without any expenses? | 25k a year coming in with it being able to be applied/invested anyway i want...what to do? |
t3_2uzvxw | relationship_advice | Should I (23/F) even bother to work out my issues with my father? | So. My dad was kind of an asshole growing up. Throughout my highschool years he would alternate between telling me I wouldn't succeed (and telling me, before studying abroad, that everyone would disapprove of me) and telling me I was pretty and smart. It really fucked me up. In addition to this he was dating a woman who spent all her time berating me. She said I was "ugly" because I was fat and I would never find someone who loved me. And, they both would inquire about my sexuality and ask if I was a "queer". Surprise. I turned out queer. Sigh. Anyways. Basically, my dad was a bipolar, emotionally abusive asshole growing up.
Naturally, I moved out at 18 and distanced myself physically and emotionally. At this point our relationship became manageable. He would often bribe me with lunches and dinner to hang out, and as a poor student, I would.
Over time, he moved out with his emotionally abusive girlfriend and moved to a different state (somewhere sunnier). At this point, he constantly tries to give me gifts and help me through school and a lot of good stuff. I am kind of ready to forgive him except the fact that he lied about thing huge to me.
He told me my mother died when I was younger. When, in reality, she is just comatose. So, I haven't seen my mother in over 10 years, thinking she was dead, when - in reality - it was a lie. He told me she died when he started dating his emotional abusive GF; so I think that is why he did it?
So. Now I'm at this moral dilemma. Can I allow him to keep helping me with school? Should I still talk to him? Should I even change anything? He is old and probably going to die soon. He is sad and old and alone. Hating him seems like a waste of time. But, I feel so angry about him fucking up my childhood and lying to my about my mother and gah. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to feel. I could really use some guidance. | My dad lied about my mom being dead. He is kind of an asshole. Is forgiveness worth it? How should I even feel about this. |
t3_xqymj | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the deepest, darkest secret you've ever heard about someone you work for? | I heard a story about a manager who used to work at my store, we'll call him B. So it turns out B had a foot fetish. If you watched closely while he spoke to someone, he would look at them, look at their feet, and look back at them, repeatedly. But B was dating an acquaintance of a coworker. One day, B was waiting at his apartment for his girlfriend to come over after her workout. After she arrived, sweaty and unshowered after the workout, B couldn't contain himself. He pounced on her right then and began initiating sexytimes. He quickly moved to her feet, sucking her toes, touching himself, etc. He then comes on her feet and proceeds to lick his own come from her feet.
Story confirmed be coworker's acquaintance. | Old manager had a foot fetish, jerked off on gf's feet after her workout, slurped down his own come off of her feet. |
t3_1h0niz | tifu | TIFU by pissing away my chances | Well reddit thought you could use a laugh at my stupidity for the last few days, there is a girl I really like and care for we shall call her Nikki since she is a Redditor also, but I shall take you from the start of my fucks up with Nikki, she asked me to describe my perfect girl so I described the complete opposite of her (I did not like her at this point in time), so she holds that one against me for the rest of the time we have known each other. The next fuck up was slight I told her to loose weight because I am an inconsiderate asshole, but she eventually forgave me for this one (I think). So time moves on we become closer, and now I joined the Navy, and she is all sorts of pissed off, at the fact of I am leaving her, as she fell for me a little by little; but then I get her flowers on a day she is visiting her boyfriend so once again my hope to make things better ends up in the trash. Finally we come to today were we don't talk quiet as much as we used to, and when we do talk, my stupid ass brings of a topic and vents to her about a half naked women roaming my house, needless to say Nikki is extremely pissed at me and wants nothing to do with me, I think I completely fucked my chances up, and after I post this if she reads it, that will be a fuck up but hell I've already dug and and laying in my grave so what can I loose right? | Throughout the whole time I have been trying to win the heart of a girl I care deeply about, every time I get close I fuck up. |
t3_21liml | relationships | My (27f) boyfriend (26m) are broken-up, but still trying to work it out. Worried about what might happen during this period. | My boyfriend (of 4+ years) and I got in a fight on Sunday and ended up breaking up. We talked several hours later after I calmed down and I apologized (and took responsibility for the fight). He kept saying that he wasn't mad, but needed some time to think about our relationship. We agreed to talk later after we had both taken some time. I called on Tuesday and he said that we were still broken up and that he needed more time to think.
I am trying to give him space and have resolved to not call or contact him since then. I am still trying to be optimistic that things will work out. I still love him and still want to marry him.
I am feel strongly that I want to get back together. I am just worried about how he is handling this period of time. I have always been super clear that would never tolerate cheating in our relationship. Even though we are broken up, I would still be extremely hurt if he were to do anything with another woman during this time.
He has a bachelor party this weekend and I am paranoid that he might take the opportunity to celebrate his newly single status. I want him to know that if he did want to work things out, his actions durning our break still matter to me.
We didn't set boundaries or talk about this before. I don't want to tell him my worries and expectations in fear that I would be violating his space and potentially pushing him further away.
Do guys consider their (technically-ex) SO's feelings while broken up and how it might affect the future relationship? Is there a away that I could convey my fears or expectations without pushing him further away? How would you handle this? I know it isn't my rights to expect anything at this stage, but I don't think I could get over it if something where to happen. | boyfriend and I are broken up, but trying to work it out. I don't want him to hook up with anyone else. How do I handle letting him know while respecting his space? |
t3_2e2gg1 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my ex [22 F] , 3 months. I know it's a tired question, but when will residual feelings piss off already? | So my ex and i broke up 3 months ago, it didn't end particularly well. I initiated it, but i know she was looking for a way out as well. Or at least i think i know that. I wasn't happy with our relationship, i attempted many times to communicate that fact. In the hopes of getting things to change, but she was always unresponsive.
Anyway the only contact ive had with her was 2 weeks after at a friends birthday do. I attempted to be civil and friendly. I asked her how she was and she just turned her face away from me, completely blanking me, in front of all our friends. This caused me to be very upset as i'm sure you can imagine. She said something to me that she knew would get to me.
So it's been a couple of months since then, I still get invitations to things by her best friend. I feel bad for not going, but i also know that it would just be horrible for me. I do not want to get back with her, just every time i see these invitations i get really really sad. I really would just rather never see her again. For my own self preservation really. I genuinely wanted to be with her, I wanted us to be partners. She clearly did not feel the same, and it just sucks really bad.
This is basically just a rant, i know it is probably not the right place. But if anyone can give me some insight on how to go on, or if anybody just wants to ask me questions or anything i think it might be good to talk about it. | Broke up with gf, not handling the break up as well as i would like. Advice/ encouragement welcome. |
t3_1see5v | Dogtraining | Please, please help me teach my dog not to pull. | Please help me walk my (boyfriend's) dog.
I'm taking care of Boyfriend's dog for a few months while he is out of town. Dog is an energetic 2-year-old German shepard/Tibetan mastiff mix (we think). He's tall tall tall and about 80 pounds of muscle and fluff. Dog does not listen to me well. I blame this partially on the fact that I let him get away with murder the first few months I knew Boyfriend (like an aunt spoiling her niece, sort of). He also listens really well to males, but lady voices are just fairy dust that float above his head.
Boyfriend has let dog pull on the leash his entire life. I decided right away that I was going to make walking times fun for both of us and teach dog to not pull on the leash. I bought and Easy Walk harness 2 months ago when I got Dog. Every time he pulled (i.e. always) I'd stop and make him sit/look at me. When he did, I'd praise him and we'd keep going. I praise him when he walks nicely.
He was doing pretty well until it got cold, and he got a burst of energy like a kid who's eaten the entire cookie jar.
Now, when I try to walk him, he pulls like crazy. I stop and make him sit. He does. I tell him he can go, and he immediately pulls. there is never a moment of nice walking - it's either sitting or pulling.
We're both unhappy. I need to do something. Please help. | Dog pulls on the leash. I've tried to fix it, but I don't know what to do. Please help us. |
t3_1ccat6 | loseit | Short person losing weight | Hi r/loseit! I've been lurking here for quite a while, and I'm finally inspired to lose some weight. Currently, I am 5'0 and weigh 115 pounds. I'd like to be at 105 or under by July. I was thinking under 100, just because I'm so short, but I'm not sure if that's healthy. Can someone help me determine what a good weight would be? Also, (not to brag or anything but...) I like my boobs a lot. I have cleavage and wear a 32-D cup. Is there any way I can keep that size, but still lose weight? Are there any exercises to keep boobs but lose everything else? Thanks for inspiring me!! | I'm 5'0- what's a good weight for me? Also, any way I can keep my boobs when I lose weight? |
t3_1djech | Parenting | How much stock do you put into this zodiac sign business? | This has come up in my life recently because I'm due in August with my second child. She is due on the 22nd which puts her on the cusp of virgo and leo. However, since I have to have a scheduled c-section she will definitely be coming earlier and therefore will definitely be a leo. This is a big deal to some of my friends who are a bit hippy dippy and take Astrology very seriously. I'd like to think that I don't, but I can't help but dig around the interwebs searching for some clues as to what kind of person my daughter will be.
Anyway, the | of it is: Do you believe in that stuff? Do you see your kids displaying characteristics of their birth signs or just the opposite? Just want to hear other parents' thoughts on the subject. Thanks! |
t3_35oxr0 | relationships | Me [22F] with my flatmate [23F] of 6 months, just found out she has 3 drawers full of dirty dishes in her room including things I am missing | My flatmate and I used to work together and when I moved jobs, we ended up flatting together. We've always got along pretty well, although she has the fairly annoying habit of leaving dirty dishes in her room for a few days.
She's currently away til Thursday and I'm looking after her cat. Our house has one open plan loft-style room which is hers and two downstairs rooms with doors. I went up to her room to check on the cat and through nosiness, opened one of her drawers. Found that it was full of dirty dishes. Further investigation revealed another 2 full of dirty dishes and a container of awful-smelling mystery liquid.
Obviously I can't just leave things as they are. But I have no idea how to bring this up with her. Should I take the dishes out now and wash them, and bring it up when she gets back, or leave them there and bring it up? Or try and not let on that I know, but make her sort it out somehow anyway?
Please help, I need advice ASAP as she is back in tow days so I really need to sort it out tomorrow. We are in New Zealand if that is at all important. | Discovered 3 drawers of dirty dishes in flatmate's room while snooping. No idea how to bring it up. Concerned for her mental heath. |
t3_3lgimo | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boss [40 M]. He lies about payments and puts me in uncomfortable situations. | So I've been at this complicated job for around a year, at first it wasn't complicated at all. My boss was super nice and always paid on time but business hasn't been so good as of lately and this has caused him to be delayed with the payments.
I understand that its normal to be delayed a few days, specially in our line of work but he now owes me 2 whole months of salary. Today he texted me to come pick up my check but asked me not to to tell my workmates. I am really close to a particular workmate and we both have been complaining to each other how irresponsible our boss is.
When I got to the office to pick up my check (thinking my workmate was there to pick up hers as well) she told me that our boss had told her that the check wouldn't be ready until Tuesday of next week. I know this isn't true because I already have my check.
I feel extremely uncomfortable cashing my check and lying to her, but the selfish side of me doesn't want to stop getting paid.
Should I tell her? What should I do?
** Sorry I should also note that my boss is a great guy in all other aspects of work, he is understanding and supportive and works with a flexible schedule (Im in a LDR so thats the main reason Im still here.)
THANKS EVERYONE for the advice and replies, Im in the process of applying to other jobs. Fingers crossed something will come up. | My boss has trouble paying on time, when he pays me he tells me to to tell anyone and lies to others about the payment. |
t3_3bjy9p | relationships | Uncomfortable with SO "work girlfriend" | My SO (26 M) and I (24 F) have been in a relationship for 3 years. Recently, I have become uncomfortable/jealous of his new work partner (25 year old single female - Betty). They worked together for two months for 50+ hours/week. The nature of the job mostly involves two people working in close partnership, in some high stress situations and occasionally working with other groups.
Over the course of their partnership they developed a friendship and I had become jealous of their relationship. I wanted to meet her because I thought it would relieve the jealousy. When I met her she seemed nice enough but during the course of the catch up she seemed a little too friendly with my SO. For example: she recalled a funny anecdotes about times when he teased her about something or a time when he got cranky in a certain situation and how they laughed about it together afterwards or a time when they shared milkshakes in the park. I felt like the third wheel in my own relationship.
When their work partnership ended SO received a text from Betty asking how he was going with the "break up" and he responded that he was "coping". There were a few texts like this exchanged. When I found out about these messages I felt like I had been completely betrayed because using the words "break up" to discuss the ending of a work partnership seems a little too intimate for my liking.
I don't know if anything romantic is going on or if my SO genuinely just wants a good friend with this person. But their relationship makes me feel uncomfortable.
Did I overact in feeling betrayed by their text exchange? Do you think Betty has a more-than-friends feeling for my SO? If so, what can I do to feel better about the situation? What do you think SO gets out of his relationship with her? Guys of reddit, have you been able to have a completely platonic relationship with a female without any feelings of desire or needing validation? | SO and work partner relationship too close for comfort. They discussed their "break up" via text when they stopped working together. Is this too intimate? |
t3_1a6fb3 | loseit | What foods to eat on game day? | I had a baby several months ago and am just starting to lose the weight. I've lost 14lbs so far, which feels great already, but I still have another 30lbs I'd like to lose, to get back to my healthy weight.
So far, I've lost the weight by cutting carbs way down and doing at least 90 minutes of walking a day. I have muesli to get me through the morning and the rest of the day is just fish, meat, fruit and veges.
I've recently started playing hockey (field hockey) again and I'm wondering how to adjust my diet for this. Training is about 90 minutes of intense running - a full body workout. Games are also 90 minutes and even more intense.
What is the best thing to eat on game day? I realise I should eat more carbs to get energy but unsure how much and what types, if I still want to lose weight. Any insight would be really appreciated! | Doing well on a low-carb diet for weight loss but need carb energy for sports - what to eat and how much? |
t3_3u9zim | relationships | My (23f) business website is not making sales because of my boyfriends stepdad (61m) has messed the website up. | My boyfriend of 5 years and I used to live with his dad and his dad's husband until around 2 years ago when we moved around 10miles away. We visit often and have never had any fall outs or arguments.
My boyfriends step dad (we will call him John) has his own business and makes websites as a hobby. Apparently he charges a few hundred just for a consultation so when I was looking for a website for my business it felt only natural to ask him. He never charged me anything and we had it up and running well in no time at all.
Only I started to notice he had wrote paragraphs wrong that I had given him to type up. He also has stolen other information from other sites to put on mines and also taken some of their photos too. I told him that he would have to change this and also do a spell check. He didn't bother so I wrote all this and some other minor problems in an email so he wouldn't forget. I changed some of my products and asked for pictures to be taken down and changed and I am still waiting. I've also had to nag him to let me on admin to change descriptions he has put up wrong.
This has been going on for months and I've been letting him know as politely as I can that he needs to make changes faster than what he is. It sometimes takes him two weeks to change things, I understand he runs a business but he is retiring soon and only works 1-2 days a week.
The last straw has been today when he emailed saying a problem with payments on the site from 2 weeks ago has only just been fixed which means no one has been able to buy anything from us since then!
I don't know what to do, I feel like I should make my own website and buy the domain from them and run it myself but I don't know how to tell him.
Any advice going forward would be great and I'll answer any questions I can. | Boyfriends step-dad is too lazy to run my website for my business and we have been losing sales for two weeks. |
t3_jcnnt | legaladvice | Bike hit my car as I was taking a right. Am I in the right? | I live in Texas, and I was taking a right turn on a green light at an intersection. I had my blinker on, and the crosswalk was clear, and I began to make my turn.
As I was finishing my turn, a bicyclist who was on the sidewalk (traveling the same direction as I was before I turned) hit the rear door on my right side just in front of my rear right tire.
He was okay, he never fell off his bike, and rode on a little bit before stopping to rest. I got out and went to see if he was okay and it turns out that he is a homeless old man, and he told me that he wasn't paying attention, due to the fact that he hadn't eaten in 2 days, and told me the accident was as much his fault as mine.
His bike did zero damage to my vehicle, and I possibly bent his front tire, so i offered to get him something to eat, and after spending a good hour talking to him while he ate, I offered to take his bike to the shop to get it fixed. He declined, and instead i gave him some money to get his front tire replaced. He thanked me, and we parted as friends.
2-3 days later he calls me and tells me that he wants to take me to small claims court, that he has no other option, and claims to have many injuries from the accident. I tried to talk him down, and he instead settled on asking me to replace his bike for $100, and then he would never bother me again.
I agreed for the moment, but I'm truly worried that I'm going to buy him a new bike and he's still going to want to take me to court.
Now, I know that pedestrians always have the right away, but I don't know if bikes traveling on sidewalks in Texas do. I also don't know if i have the right away if I was half way through the crosswalk before he even entered it. | A bike hit my car in a crosswalk when I was midway through making a right turn. Did he have the right? |
t3_1p9yf8 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of two years, spend Christmas with her or family? | I've [24/M] been in an LDR with her [24/F] for almost 2 years. We've met twice in person for a week at a time, both times she came to me.I've never spent a Christmas without my family. Though at Christmas we don't actually do anything special, no Grandparents, no Aunts/Uncles/Cousins or anything like that since my Mother has alienated pretty much the entire family. Her and I were discussing Christmas and coming for it, and I said flat out without even considering it I was unwilling to come for Christmas.
My family does not particularly like her at all for various reasons which has created some friction for me throughout the relationship. I would surely be blamed for "ruining Christmas" for the entire family for her if I even considered it right now. I don't think I could deal with the stress from it and the holidays for me would probably be dampened by it. I live at home with them and go to college on their dime.
She's upset with me because I'd rather appease them and do whatever at home while having the same old Christmas with just my parents and brother that I've had every year rather than make new memories with her. Since I won't put up with 'bitching' from them to be with her, she is hurt and feels like I don't love her. But I would also legitimately miss my parents for Christmas, it's a very family-oriented holiday to me in general.
But, Reddit, I feel bad about this. Am I wrong here? Be honest, brutal if you have to. | I want to visit my girlfriend for Christmas but think my family will be horrible and make me feel like shit about it so it is ruined either way. |
t3_3i6hpf | Advice | How to I help a friend who is manipulating me to give her pity and attention? | Hey everyone.
I've been close friends with a girl from my high school for about three years. I am 18 years old; she is 17. This girl has a crappy home life - she had an awful childhood, her parents are divorcing, and her mom/brother are just complete assholes to her.
It is getting to the point where she is drawing a ton of attention to herself because she knows people take pity on her for what she is going through. I know numerous of my friends who have stopped hanging out with her because they can't stand how attention-seeking she is for the trouble in her life.
For example, while I was out with some friends, she fb messaged myself and another friend this:
She does stuff like this all the time. She'll send us messages asking for help at late hours of the night. She sends these knowing we can't/won't reply because myself and other friends are usually gaming with others or sleeping and aren't checking our phones.
In the morning we always reply asking what is happening, and she always gets mad, then she breaks down crying over the phone about something her mom did or her boyfriend said.
I'm getting so tired of it. My roommates have told me to tell her to screw off, but honestly I love the girl so much when she's not doing stuff like this.
I understand that we all have problems. I personally was in the hospital a month ago for my depression, ptsd, and anxiety from a whole bunch of shit from my life. That's another reason why I feel like I should help her - I understand her own depression, and I can give her help. But I am getting so tired of feeling awful over this.
What the hell do I do? | My friend is manipulating me to give her attention and pity because of her crappy home life. What do I do to still help her but not enable her like I am? |
t3_hbm7y | AskReddit | How much force can a man acceptably use to keep a girl from hitting him? | So last night I was at a party with a couple kegs and things got pretty rowdy, not physically, everyone was still having fun. So when I decided to leave I had to walk through the party and grab my keys on the DJ table that my friend was DJ-ing at. I was fairly drunk and as I was walking through I would see a girl and tell them quite sarcastically that I was a Doctor or a Lawyer, just playing around pretending to do a shitty douche pick-up line. Most girls laughed, and that's all that I truly was looking for. As I got to the door some girl pushed me into it, and yelled "Did you try to touch my friend?!". Again, sarcastically, I said "I try to touch everyone's friend." She didn't find the drunk humor and slapped me in the face, pretty hard. This girl was all of 5'2 120 lbs. She was tiny so it didn't really hurt that bad. I told her that I didn't touch anyone and I didn't even know who her friend was. I open the door to leave and she pushes me down the stairs from behind and I almost fall over. At this point if she was a man than I would've done something. But she continues to yell at me pushing and hitting me all the way to my car. I'd never felt so powerless in my life. I've always been told to never hit a girl, in any scenario. In fact my father said he'd whoop my ass if he ever heard that I had. So...my question to you guys is. Should I have done something back? How far can I guy go to "protect himself" from a small girl? She was so crazy she could of lied to some dudes and said that I punched her or something, so that wouldn't have ended well either. Did I do the right thing? | A tiny drunk girl slaps me and pushes me and tries to fight me pretty much. I didn't do anything back. Should I have? |
t3_53a6gh | relationships | Me [27F] with my boyfriend [29m] of 4 years, he asked me to pick out a ring but seems to have changed his mind. | About 4 months ago my boyfriend asked me to pick out an engagement ring. It took me about 1.5 months to pick one out. During that month and a half I mentioned a few things about weddings and stuff, and he just didn't seem super involved but I wouldn't really expect him to be, he's more of a go with the flow kind of person.
Then we moved across the country. We were planning to move, just not so soon, but we took an opportunity when it presented itself. We are basically starting our own business so a lot of extra funds are going into that, but our expenses have lowered significantly as well. (Moved from the bay area to a place with a much lower cost of living.)
Since the move, I mentioned something about our engagement and he said we just don't have the money for a ring now...but I know we do. We are not even really being that careful with our money right now, we both have a decent amount of savings and reliable money coming in while we grow our business. Besides that, I'm not a big fan of diamonds or really pricey jewelry, so the ring I picked out is only $350.
I'm just really sad. Marriage is important to me and I was getting pretty excited to be married to him. Since our last conversation I haven't brought it up again. I'm not sure if I should even mention it again. It's not like he said he doesn't want to get married, just that it's not the right time. I understand that a lot of big changes have happened recently and it may be too much.
I can wait, I just don't want to be waiting forever. I was never really the kind of person to put a time line on things, but should I? I know I can ask him all of this, but I don't want to put pressure on him for an engagement. I've never done that and would never want to feel like we only got engaged because I want to. | my boyfriend asked me to pick out an an engagement ring but has since said it's not the right time to get engaged. Should I ask for a timeline or what? |
t3_n7d2o | AskReddit | I want to work in IT, please help. | I don't have any experience, although I am pretty good at learning computer-related things and enjoy fixing technical things. I also owe a lot of money for school for another career that didn't pan out. And it has been my dream since I was young to work in IT... I just ended up doing unrelated things for some reason. Now I can't go back to school and get a 4-year degree in computer science or something (cost, rent, time).
So, I want to start a career in IT. I don't mind going to school for it, but because of my other degree, I already owe a lot of money. What is the cheapest way to get into IT (for-profit school like ITT Tech?), which would also show the employers I know what I am doing? What are the best certifications to get? What are the easiest certifications to get? What are the cheapest certifications to get? And what jobs can I get based on those certifications? My dream in life is to work in IT. I have no experience really. I have no money either, and owe a lot of money to school loans for a separate career that didn't pan out. I am ok with taking out some more loans for school, but I honestly can't afford really that much more. I would love to hear the opinions and advice from reddit. Thank you. | Want to work in IT. No experience. No money. Cheap school and certifications? Where? Also, what type of job to get with that to start out? |
t3_43r2qw | relationships | Me [32F] with my Sister [27F] and the Baby Problem | I'm 32F, married for a 10 years. My husband and I, after four miscarriages, decided that children just aren't in the cards for us. Neither of us is too broken up about this - we were in the '0-1' camp anyways.
My sister, 27F, got married about a year and a half ago and is experiencing similar fertility issues. I know of at least two failures to carry, including a loss at 5.5 months gestation. She and her husband both really, really want kids.
This is the problem - my sister asked me for help paying for fertility treatments. Personally, I believe fertility treatments are unethical: you're using your limited resources for a plan that may or may not succeed in order to pass on your genetic material that is pretty obviously flawed. That and there's the whole adoption-of-already-existing-children angle.
The *biggest* kicker is that money is not an issue for my family, it is for hers. I honestly don't think that they're in a good position financially or emotionally for kids period, let alone the rigors of fertility treatment. Buuuut... how do I tell her I won't pony up the cash so she can be mommy? | Sister has fertility issues, wants help with money for treatment. I don't want to give it to her, but I also don't want her to hate me forever. |
t3_1tchad | relationships | Help! I[F/21] am falling for one of my best friends [M/20] and I don't know whether to approach him | I just graduated college, and in the past semester I started hanging out with this guy. We became fast friends and flirted all the time, cuddled during movies and video games, etc. He had a girlfriend living abroad, but I was single.
One night it got a little more serious, and eventually we slept together. Yes, he was still with his girlfriend, and no, she didn't know.
This continued on and off all semester, until about a month ago he and his girlfriend broke up. He and I hung out(mostly in a group setting) almost every day until the end of the semester, but he also started seeing this other girl. I left at the end of the semester thinking I'd leave him behind (I'm moving way far from my college), but that's proving impossible. Turns out I have way too many feelings for that to be a thing.
Reddit, I'm going to be staying with him next month on my way to my new job/city. He's still single, as am I, and neither of us is frightened by the (general) prospect of an LDR. In fact, he's already planning to come out and visit me with a mutual friend of ours next semester.
Do I come clean with him about my feelings, or let it go? | Met a guy, slept with him while he was still with his girlfriend, they broke up, now I have many many feelings for him. Seeing him next month, do I tell him? |
t3_3n72gh | relationships | What to do when told by your SO that they aren't in a place for something serious? (27f)/(29m) | I've been dating my guy for three months and am definitely in love with him. I waited for him to say it first, which he did, though he made it a point to clarify he loved me but wasn't in love yet. He's simultaneously dating someone else and thinks of himself as somewhat poly, which I am okay with. Now at three months we exchange I love yous regularly and he's very tender and loving to me. But when I brought up making the relationship official and serious he said he wasn't at a place for that, citing work and school. The catch is he wanted the relationship to continue. My feelings are only growing stronger but it's not going anywhere in the foreseeable future.
Is it healthy to continue and see if he comes around or should I just end the romantic aspect of the relationship since he doesn't view it as serious as I do? I love his company I just want it to be an official relationship. He calls me his girlfriend but has not introduced me as such to anyone, citing that he's very private about his love life. | My SO says I love you but doesn't want a serious relationship where as I do. I love him tons but wonder if I should end it since we want different things. |
t3_glh0c | AskReddit | Large Paypal Transaction - Safe? | My parents are selling an antique mahogany dining set, and asking $4000. Two days after posting an ad on Craigslist, they received this reply:
>Thanks for your response,I am willing to pay your asking price,but i'll be paying through my online paypal account due to my location.I am from Norwich East of England and i'm on a missionary course attached to Norwich Cathedral,which will end in couple of months,that's why i can't use any other form of payment than paypal,the only safe and secure way for me to pay online.So give me the email linked to your paypal account if you have one and if you are new to paypal you can easily set up your own account at www.paypal.com its easy,fast,safe and secured,all i need is the email address you will use in registering with paypal,that will enable me to make the payment.
>But before the payment you will need to send pics to my email so i can see in large form and with your zipcode for pick up after payment.also include your phone number so i can call you when i need to,mine is [removed].
>PayPal will charge little fee out of each transaction,ill take care of that on my side and the shipping agent will come for the pick up after payment,so please email me with the information as soon as possible.
While this seems safe, since the table is huge and will require special transport, I am wary of people who are "stuck out of the country" during transactions, especially one of this magnitude. | Selling something on CL for $4000, buyer is "out of the country for a couple of months". Legit or scam? |
t3_3cx2ss | relationships | She (35F) got back in touch after needing space with me (31M) then stops responding | Ended up texting her at night "I said I was going to let you know when I was free but I know you need your space now. When you change your mind, get in touch".
The next day she texted me around 4pm and said, "Hi, how's your dad doing?" ( My dad was in the hospital for his knee). I replied when I got off work at 9, "He's better, thanks for asking. How are you doing?" Two minutes later, "Glad he's better, out of the hospital? I'm doing ok". And 9 minutes later, I replied, "He's out but he was there longer than they thought he would be. I'd love to see you when your free."
Then she NEVER replied... Why would she not reply?
1) Yeah, that was nice of her to ask but she could have asked anytime the whole week when she knew he might have knee surgery. Why would she ask the day after I told her to get in touch when she changed her mind. Because obviously, she hasn't changed her mind, she still needs space.
2) Why would she get in contact with me if she didn't want to see me. Just to know my dad is ok? I mean she has never met him or talked to him before.
3) Is she just testing me now? To see if I would text her again if she doesn't respond. I mean it still sounds like she's feeling depressed but still.
Basically everything was good and then her divorce was finalized and the day after she learned her ex is having a child with his new gf. We dated for two months. It has been fifteen months since they separated. I told her I'm not trying to rush anything.
I was starting to be fine. Then I thought she was reply because she was ready, because I said "when you change your mind, get in touch" and the next day she texted. Now it sucks again.
From now on out, I won't text her again and if she does get in touch I will keep things short and won't bring up getting together first. | She needed space bc of divorce finalized and learning her ex having a child with new gf. Told her to contact when ready, she did. Said I want to see her and she doesn't reply? |
t3_2bvdgl | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF [24 F] of 3 months, GF went on a weekend trip and I need some advice | Hi Reddit,
I'm feeling a little silly typing this out but I'm feeling a little hurt and just wanted to see if I was being completely irrational about the whole situation.
I met my GF a little bit ago and things have been going great over the last couple of months, we share a lot of the same interests and I truly enjoy spending time with her.
She went on a trip about 4 hours away to visit some friends she hasn't seen in a while, which I was totally fine with. Friday and Saturday went fine, we texted a little bit throughout the two days but I basically left her to have fun with her friends and tried not to bother her too much.
My issue begins with last night, I texted her good night and went to sleep. When I woke up I saw that I didn't get a response back, which was fine and I wasn't too worried about it. I texted her again this morning basically saying "Good morning, how was last night, what time are you thinking of coming back today", it was a bit of a longer text but you get the picture.
I receive no response for almost 4 hours, at which point she texts me and tells me that she's already home. I don't really know why but this really upset me, she basically didn't respond to my good night or good morning text and didn't even tell me that she already left to drive home.
I don't know if I'm just being overbearing and expecting her to text me all the time but considering she was 4 hours away I don't think it would be unreasonable for me to expect a text at least saying something to the effect of "good morning, I'm leaving now and I'll text you when I'm home". Normally I'm not the type of person to expect the good morning/good night texts but considering she was so far away I was a little worried whether she was OK or not.
Obviously this isn't a large issue and something that I will take to heart, but I'm just wondering what the best way to express this to her without sounding overbearing. | GF left for weekend trip 4 hours away, didn't text me or respond to my 2 texts for 12+ hours and just told me she was already home. How do I express being a little hurt without sounding overbearing. |
t3_1w32gk | relationships | [M/21] Not really a relationship, but I still need help. | I met this girl at a fancy schmancy adult party about a month ago. No sparks flew, but I feel it went well. About a week passes and I talk to her again, only this time she gives me her number (after I asked for it). She gave it to me freely and didn't seem bothered that I asked for it.
I text for a little while, and finally decide to ask her out for something chill and no-pressure. She that she would like to and we agree on a day and place. The day comes and a few hours before she has to cancel to take her little brother to the doctor. Needless to say I was bummed, but it was really no big deal. She asks me for a rain check, to which I ask her what would be an appropriate date/time.
No response. I didn't think to much about it because it takes her forever to respond to my messages. I get pretty busy and can't talk to her for a few days. When I finally was able to get back to her, still no response. Being the holiday season I figure she was busy with family so once again it wasn't a huge deal. I wait about a week to ask her again to which I receive a frustrating lack of response. That was three weeks ago. I really like this girl, and she agreed to go out with me, but never replies when I try to talk to her, even though she was the one who requested a reschedule, not me.
Part of me really wants to try one more time (I usually give people 3 chances before I call it quits, be it with relationships or various other things). Should I go for it? Or am I deluding myself into trying to keep something alive that'd dead? | Girl and I have date, has an emergency at the last second and has to cancel, but asks to reschedule. When I try to reschedule she never responds. |
t3_2bmx6w | relationships | I [28 F] have been seeing [30 M] for a very short time but feel he is losing interest - should I confront him about it? | I have been seeing a guy for a very short time - two weeks - but the relationship started off extremely intense. I guess there was a strong attraction at first - we met on a whim, we dont even live in the same city, but since then we have been in very close contact with each other every single day texting and phoning and video chatting. The first week of us even talking he was talking about being obsessed with me, very sexually attracted to me, we had very, very personal conversations for hours on end, he even that I was wife material and how perfect i am for him, he cant believe im real, etc etc. We've made potential plans to visit one another, hes talked about booking a plane ticket to see me multiple times. Since Ive met him he has poured affection onto me. We've sexted, exchanged sexual photos and videos and still talk every day - every morning, every night.
The past couple of days though it seems things have taken a quick turn. He's texts will be very cliche things like 'hey baby, hey sexy, sending you kisses' or just sexual in nature, nothing as personal as before. He'll be busy or out or working. I dont want to bring it up in case Im being paranoid and its too early to scare him off. I just don't know how to address this without coming off insecure. Should I drop it? | Is it worth it for me to risk a very new relationship by bringing up insecurities that he is losing interest? |
t3_3nnu4m | tifu | TIFU By letting my girlfriend wear my headphones | Not only did this happen today, but it happened about 5 minutes ago. I think my gf is still freaking out, I gave her a stuffed sheep and wine so hopefully she'll make it through.
We just finished supper and she's watching some kind of physiotherapy videos on her computer, and I'm sitting on mine editing some video. To be courteous, I give her my over-ear headphones to in order to provide a Kruzat free environment for her education needs.
About 5 minutes later she throws off the headphones and she screams at me "A FUCKING BUG JUST WENT INTO MY EAR" And she points and floor. So I go down to take a look, and immediately crush the living fuck out of the creature.
Sitting on the chair, she had no idea what creature had just crawled into her ear. Until I was in the process of dissembling the headphones and flipping the ear hole covers and she asked what I was doing. All I said was "Ensuring the headphones don't have anymore spider bits in them"
She immediately freaked out as she realized that a spider had just crawled from my headphones into her ear. I'm also freaking out because I'm 90% sure that I've felt that motherfucker tickling my ears before. | Just let my gf's ear hole get molested by a headphone spider. Contemplating putting the headphones into a fire tornado. |
t3_1eo6oo | relationships | My parents [M/F, 50] have given me [M, 20] an ultimatum: cancel an overnight trip with my girlfriend [F, 19], or move out. | I have pretty conservative parents. Whether or not they trust me to control myself in a situation that has the potential to end in something they disapprove of, they just disapprove of the whole idea of spending a night with a girl. I let them know I was going to embark on such a trip a few weeks ago, thinking that I had become enough of an adult in their eyes that I could do things like this without permission. I was really just letting them know, giving them a heads-up. They then told me that if I wanted to "live that kind of life," I could get out. Otherwise, I have to humiliate myself and tell my girlfriend that I can't go, because my parents still treat me like a child.
I've explained to them that nothing will happen, but of course they take that with a grain of sand. After I diffuse all of their concerns, they come back with, "we don't approve."
Now I would just move out, but I need their financial support for college, and honestly, I don't want to offend them. I don't see much room for negotiating here, but what can I do? This girl is important to me, but I can't sacrifice my stable future for a few nights. How can I go on this trip and keep the support of my parents? | My parents have given me the option of cancelling an overnight trip with someone who I'd be very embarrassed to bail on because of my parents, or moving out. |
t3_1ubxqr | relationships | My fiance [24/m] and I [23/f] are considering a threesome or couple dating with one our mutual friends [24/f]. Bad idea? | My fiance and I have been best friends for 9 years, and have been engaged and living together for a little over 1 year. We have talked about having some sort of threesome ever since we went to our first strip club together. We always talked back and forth about the details of who we would find, and actually told ourselves it would be best not to find someone we knew, not a Craiglists stranger either, but maybe an escort type service.
We recently considered a mutual friend of ours who has a lot of past with both of us. She was my best friend at one point, and he also dated her at one point. After doing some growing up, my fiance and I both still care for her a lot and our personalities just get along.
Problem is, yes I've always wanted to experiment with another female, and as long as I am there and I know what is going on between them, I THINK I am fine with her doing things with him, but I'm a very jealous female. I just don't want my insecurities to make this one sided for everyone, but me. I don't know how to approach this at all. Any stories from your own guys' experiences would be awesome, or any advice! Thanks! | With my jealous tendencies, is it a good idea to engage in a threesome or couple dating with my fiance? |
t3_4dlb39 | relationships | Me [32/F] feeling like I need to break up with my boyfriend [30/M] after learning I was his 'side piece' in the very early days. However, I can't afford to break up with him until I graduate school. | I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years having been in a 'friends with benefits' relationship for about 9 months before that. However, I found out very recently from a friend of his that I know that he was actually cheating on his then girlfriend with me during those 6 or so months.....and I was none the wiser because he'd told me they were broken up.
I'll be honest and admit that over the last few months, I was having some doubts about the relationship.....sometimes I feel like he only values me for my looks (I'm objectively pretty good looking) and the way he can talk about women can concern me but knowing this is the last straw. I feel like any guy who will cheat with you will cheat on you.
The problem is.....I am in my last year of a 3 year graduate law degree he encouraged me to do when I got a scholarship for my fees after a nervous breakdown at the job we met. I have no savings at the moment because they were depleted after I needed two bouts of emergency surgery and had to travel after my dad passed away. I live with my boyfriend who has a decent paying job and honestly can't afford to move out until I graduate and there is no point quitting with 8 months to go when I've already come this far.
How can I best get through this? | Can't afford to break up with boyfriend who I no longer trust after finding out he was using me to cheat on his girlfriend before we got to together. Need to ride it out 9 more months. How to deal? |
t3_335iyo | relationships | I (M26) want to start a relationship with a girl (F23). We're very good friends but are already long-distance. | I met her through an online game we both moderate, and over the past few weeks we've gotten very close. We chat online for hours at a time, multiple times a week, doing things entirely unrelated to our common moderation work. I'd basically like to ask her out to dinner or a movie, but we're geographically very far apart, so I just don't know what to say. Asking "would you like to go out" or "date" don't represent what I want to ask. The question I want to ask is basically "would you like to be in a relationship with me" but every time I think of anything like that I just laugh at how bureaucratic or robotic it sounds. I'd ideally use an equivalent of dinner or a movie but I can't figure out how to do that over the internet (without having a pre-existing relationship that turned into a long-distance one).
I'd also add that I would be happy to just remain friends with her if she's not interested, I really enjoy our time spent together as-is. I know though that she does not make the first move in her relationships, so if she is interested (which I think she is), I will need to put myself out there. | How do I start a long-distance relationship from scratch (*not* convert a local relationship *to* a LDR)? |
t3_4mp8w0 | personalfinance | Fully-owned car I don't use (often) and loans to pay. Advice? | I'm in my mid-twenties, make ~85k per year, and currently haver around $16k in outstanding student loan debt. I've started paying the loans off pretty aggressively at $1k per month which I can afford comfortably with my current living situation. Using any additional cash inflows I get aside from my regular salary (e.g. bonus, tax returns) I'm looking at being debt free in about one year.
I live in NYC and am originally from Long Island (just east of NYC), where I have a car. I bought the car cash several years ago so I own it outright, and it is fairly new; a 2009 Civic with ~61k miles. Bottom line is the car never gets driven, is currently uninsured, and I could probably re-sell it for a decent price. I could use that money to make additional significant dents in my outstanding debt, but then I don't have the car if and when I need it.
Torn on this because living in NYC is likely a short term (1-3 years) situation, so having a vehicle that I own and don't have payments on would be useful. On top of that, my loan repayment is pretty reasonable IMO. Flip side is that I want the get rid of the debt ASAP, the car is really just sitting there, and as time goes on and the car continues to depreciate its resale value goes down.
Thoughts? | Have a car I own but don't use. Should I sell it to pay off loans, when I'm going to have those loans paid in ~1 year anyway? |
t3_vdbux | offmychest | Teenage problems | So there is a girl I know who lives about an hour and 30 min away and I get to see her every Sunday I'm not working, she's the first girl I've ever been around that I connected to so quickly, she's absolutely beautiful and more importantly is not afraid to be herself and say who she is, which is something I do rarely because I am so afraid of rejection. But the first day I had talked to her in years I wasn't afraid in the slightest to tell her what I was really like, when she asked me what kind of music I like I told her about all the crazy and obscure bands I love instead of pretending to like pop or some shit, and not only did she accept it as just any regular thing but she knew about most of them. When she wanted to know what I did for fun I told her what I really like to do instead of making up some bullshit that sounds like something a douche would say. The 6 days I had to wait until I could see her again were the longest and most depressing 6 days of my life. All I could think about was that I would never be with her because she lives so far away. Then when I saw her we talked the entire night and it was awesome. But shes a bit older than me and could easily get any guy she wants which is the main thing I worry about. I'm a bit overweight and I'm totally sure she could get guys who are way more interesting and funny than I am, better looking too, so I feel like if I asked for her number and started talking to her she would just think of me as some foolish kid who she thought was fun to talk to every weekend. | girl who lives an hour and 30 min away is amazing and I have never wanted to be with someone so bad, but she could easily get funnier, better looking guys than me. What do? |
t3_2n0lyp | personalfinance | [Story] How to save money on car insurance | I [28/M] had a spotless driving record and 'P' car insurance for many years just because I was too lazy to look for anything else and I saw my premium dropping slowly with 'P'. I finally looked around some options (via Nerdwallet) and found I could get a much better rate with 'G' with significantly more coverage. 'P' even called when I cancelled and admitted they couldn't match the rate I was switching to.
By doing this, I dropped my rate from $61/month to $38/month with MORE or equal coverage in every area. Car never changed (besides getting older). [success #1]
A couple months ago I had my first at-fault slow-speed accident (gosh Mini Cooper trunks bend so easily...) with no damage to my car. I got my renewal policy in the mail from 'G' and it went up to $59/mo. I figured it would go up, but this was my only minor accident in 12 years of driving! I was still getting more coverage than my previous provider for slightly less so I wasn't super annoyed, but wanted to see if I could do anything about it. So I sent 'G' and e-mail through their system asking about the high premium and emphasizing my good record. They responded with a "we're sorry, but..." boilerplate reply and I figured that was it. Then just a few days ago, I got notified that my premium went back down to $39/mo. Huzzah [success #2]! I'd like to think it was because of my message, but I'm not positive. Hope you can learn from this and save yourself. | 1) shop around insurance companies for better rates. 2) It doesn't hurt to send them a message asking to review your record for a better rate. |
t3_3mnrax | personalfinance | Going back to school, defer or not while making payments on loans? | Hi everyone
I checked the wiki, the FAQ, and did a quick search about my question. I currently have about 20k at 6.8% in loans from grad school (paid out of pocket for first undergrad degree). Now I am back in school for pre-reqs for a new career (nursing) and received notice today from MyFedLoan that I am now in deferment because I am in school. Yes, I did apply for additional loans for my current schooling. My original plan was to keep paying my old loans and take out this new one (total of about $5k for pre-reqs and then a TON for nursing school) but keep paying down my current loans, effectively trading a 6.5% interest rate for closer to 4% (the alleged current rate on the new loans).
I decided not to actively pursue going into deferment, and to keep making my normal payments on the loans as I have no other debt besides mortgage. However, I don't quite understand the difference between continuing to make payments while in deferment or not in deferment. I know that if I didn't make any payments while in deferment, the interested is capitalized, etc. But what about if I keep paying it down? | back in school, plan to stay on payment schedule. Do I keep paying on deferment for the next two years, or do I remove the deferment and truly stay on schedule? |
t3_1vwz7x | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex [21 F] 2 years , Dog involved, cant tell if we're just taking a "break" | So my ex and I were dating for two years, recently we broke up over a small fight. This is the sixth time we've tried to separate, and we always end up getting back together.
This time though, its a bit different. She's been seeing other men, but I'm a tad anti social and have had trouble meeting women.
Six months ago her dog passed, so I rescued one. I made it clear that the dog was mine and not ours, but I really just got the dog because of her. Now, I let her take the dog a couple days a week.
Seeing her when I drop the dog off is really hard. Im pretty depressed about the whole thing. I don't want to wake up in the morning. All i want to do is be with her again because I truly do love her but she insists on not getting back together.
She was my best friend. I deeply love my dog, but sometimes she just reminds me of her. | Should I make a stronger effort to get back with her? Or should I put my dog up for adoption and close this chapter of my life? |
t3_hrjre | dating_advice | The longer I'm out of town I feel like I'm moving towards the "just-friends" zone | Hey guys, I know this may seem like a silly post, but bear with me as I am looking for some advise.
About a month ago I (26m) met a very nice girl (24f) on the internet and we hit it off pretty well. About two weeks ago we decided to meet and spent a lovely few hours together walking around the city, drinking coffee, etc. We both knew it was a date, but at the end of the evening she was meeting a friend and off to someone's place for food, and when I was saying goodbye to her I didn't kiss her because I just felt so awkward with him standing nearby. I spent the train journey home kicking myself and when I finally got back to the house I decided to send her a text implying that I was looking forward to our next date. She replied pretty positively.
Here's where it get's awkward though. I had to leave for my college course very soon after that date, and we haven't seen each other since. I still won't be back to see her for another two weeks and it's bothering me a lot. We've been in touch solidly through text messages and facebook and agreed to have a chat on the phone this weekend when we're both free, but I'm beginning to feel insecure that I've lost her interest and that date number 2 may not happen/she's met someone else. Can anyone give some advise that would help me rationalise my emotions, I'm working very hard at the moment so I may be letting them get to me more than normal. Bear in mind even though we have been talking for about a month and a bit, we have only met once. Thanks guys.
> | Went on one date with a great girl, but because of college I'm out of the city for a month. I'm halfway through the month, but going out of my mind. |
t3_1nzck0 | relationships | Me [22 F] with my friend [24 M]. Despite having a girlfriend he has gone full on romantic potential creeper. | This is a follow up to:
Hi again everyone.. So I talked to the guy and straight up told him that it wasn't fair for him to do this to his girlfriend and that I wasn't interested in being strung along or involved in him cheating. At first I thought it went really well, he seemed to understand where I was coming from and confessed in the past he had been a player (LOL dodged a bullet).
However.. last night he continuously texts me things like, "why can't we last forever?" and "I don't want to lose you, I never want to lose you". I was never romantically involved with this guy and now he is professing his love to me. Keep in mind his girlfriend lives with him.
Right now I am wondering if I should send these texts to his girlfriend or let her know that this is the type of guy she is dedicating herself to. It all just seems really unfair to her but at the same time I work with this guy.. I'm afraid blowing the whistle will trace right back to me and cause a storm of drama at work. | Guy who was coming onto me while in relationship is now in love with me after I turn him down. Contemplating blowing the whistle on him to his girlfriend but don't want to ruin my work environment. |
t3_4iztc6 | relationships | Me [27M] with my [28F] fling, seeking advice about flowers | So I've been seeing this girl who's a tourist in my country a couple times. She's only staying a week, so we both know this is a casual thing and nothing long term is going to come out of it.
We decided for her last day we'd have a real date, not just netflix and chill. Last time I saw her she mentionned how much she likes to get flowers, so I thought I'd bring some flowers for our dinner date. Thing is I don't know a thing about the symbolism of flowers.
So what's a flower that says "I know this will never be more than a fling but I really like you and I enjoyed the time we spent together and this will be a nice memory" | what's a flower that says "I know this will never be more than a fling but I really like you and I enjoyed the time we spent together and this will be a nice memory" ? |
t3_3pol3x | relationship_advice | How do I (22/F) break it off with someone I've been dating for about a month (30/M)? | This might seem like a really dumb question, but I'm approaching territory I have never waded in before. I've broken up with people before, been broken up with as well, I know how that basically goes. But those have always been solid relationships. It's been established that we are boyfriend/girlfriend, met the parents, did the whole serious relationship thing.
However, since my last relationship two years ago, I've been dating around. I am not actively seeking a serious relationship, and have mostly been happy with going with the flow. Since I've just been dating guys, I have (almost unfortunately) become a master of the fade away.
Well, now I'm dating this sweet guy, but I suspect he's looking for something more than what I can offer him. I doubt he would admit to that, but I also am more attuned to red flags these days (since my past boyfriends haven't exactly been superstars). I don't like the way he's constantly trying to impress me by mentioning his money, how he tries too hard to fit in with some of my drinking pals, how he talks too much in this very... condescending manner, I suppose, or tells me every single little detail of his day. I don't like the way he talks to his mom (yes I met his parents, which is again rather weird), or the way he keeps pushing me to mess around with him in bed (I only got three hours of sleep, no I don't want to mess around at 4 in the damned morning when I have to get up at 530) both times he slept over.
I think that about covers it. Our dating deal has lasted just under a month, but if I already have this list of grievances, I'm already over it. I put all that up there in case I need to be specific/help in how to word it so I don't sound like a raging bitch.
But here's the question. I'm trying to be more of an adult about my romantic life. So, like, how do adults tell someone they're not interested in seeing somebody anymore? | I want to be more emotionally responsible in my romantic life. I don't know how to break it off with someone I am only dating besides the fade-away. Please send help. |
t3_1tf1ll | relationships | Our life goals differ vastly and he's ALWAYS with me, what should I do? | My SO(30/m) and I(24\f) have been together for about a year and a half now and I don't have any complaints about our connection or sex in any way. I am, however, having issues with our life goals not lining up and him being what I see as controlling. I want to get a good job and a house and provide for my child, while he wants to continue his unemployment(he doesn't get paid for his "job") status in his chair. He does make money in various ways and pay the bills, I just feel that I do more for our household than he does (by working, cooking and cleaning exclusively) and he takes advantage of that.
I have also unintentionally alienated two of my friends now as a result of him. He has has to be with me constantly and gets very angry when I want to do things without him. His non-paying job is at the same place as my paying job and he even comes to work with me on his days off.
I love him and would love to have a life with him but I don't know if it's really worth the effort of trying to change him. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he turns it into a yelling match about how he pays bills and I should be grateful for that. I don't expect him to change but I want him to. Is that wrong? What should I do? | My SO doesn't she are life goals and doesn't want me out of his site. Talks don't work and I love him but am at a loss for what to do. |
t3_1hx4mz | offmychest | Depressed, confused, typical teenager stuff. | Over the weekend my family and I visited in upstate New York some good friends (of whom we weren't even related to). The purpose was to mainly go to a wedding and see Canada and some of the sights. Don't get me wrong, the bride is funny and the groom is cool as hell, their wedding was fine but it was just me. I'm 16 years old, there were other kids around my age that i tried conversing with and they didn't really seem to try and converse with me as much as I'd hoped for over the entire weekend (saw them all every day). The conversing I had mainly was with older people such as the groom about music (Alternative/Indie) and a dad of about 4 kids (under 10) who had a hobby with graphic design. I'm not sure if it means anything, but while I stayed in New York, i didn't know if I was bored or feeling extremely lonely. It was a confusing time throughout the entire trip for me since i couldn't figure out who to talk to or if those kids even liked me. It made me wish I had more friends even though i know I have plenty of friends at home. It was also really hard for me to identify if the kids didn't like me or just wanted to be with people who they knew.
Although, when I wish i had more friends I feel like i want to be with the friends i currently have. But with that, I end up wanting to be alone. That's all I have for this post, thanks for letting me post this /r/offmychest. | Went to see good family friends, felt lonely since I didn't know any of them but parents knew them all and kids didn't really want to talk to me. |
t3_4f6add | relationships | I [24M] find myself angry at my husband [26M] who won't learn the language of where we live | My husband and I are both Americans but we live in Europe in a French-speaking country where we've lived since August and will stay til June. I came here to speak French, mostly. Since the beginning of this experience my husband has refused to learn French. He can say Bonjour and Merci and that's it. I was really frustrated by this but I eventually gave in and said, it's his choice. But lately I'm finding myself internally quite angry with him. This choice of his has always felt like an insult to me since French is what I study so it's one of my passions.
It's also been very awkward with friends who have asked why he hasn't learned any of the language, or who, when we go out, just prefer to speak French (and I'm here to speak French not English anyway), and so this causes me not to invite him to many things, especially things that I know will be in French. I have to do all of the talking everywhere we go (store, train stations, everything). I also find myself getting angry at him for perpetrating the stereotype that Americans are monolingual, refuse to learn other languages, find English a superior language.
My husband has even expressed interest in learning Dutch, another language spoken where we live, but he has never done anything to make that a reality and it doesn't seem like he will. So in all I'm rather upset at him over all of this.
So my question is, how can I finally come to terms with my husband's choice and just accept it, no longer feel angry over his decision? It's not a fight worth having so how can I feel less angry about it? Thank you. | My husband refuses to learn French, it's frustrating, and I'm angry at him because of it. How can I accept his choice and move on? |
t3_4phajp | relationships | I (25f) have convincing evidence that my bf (23m) cheated. How can I get him to admit it? | I have enough evidence to convince myself that my bf cheated on me, but I want to talk to him about it and find out exactly what happened and possibly why. I don't want to tell him that I know yet because he might be able to come up with explanations to try to cover his tracks. We live together and it happened when I was gone for a couple days with friends.
What questions (maybe leading questions) can I ask him to make him admit it or at least start opening up about it? Maybe something like "is there anything you're unhappy about with our relationship?" or "[friend] said they saw you at [place] on Saturday. I don't remember you talking about that."
Also, if anyone wants to give other advice: I'm living with him and was looking at signing another lease together. Obviously that's not looking like a great idea now, but my company is going through changes that are making me nervous about my job. I have to live on my own if not with him and I'm worried about being able to pay full rent at my own place right now. | have strong but non conclusive evidence of bf cheating. How can I get him to admit to it without disclosing that I know or that I have this evidence? |
t3_3gat63 | tifu | TIFU by walking into my roommate's closet. | So earlier today I decided to go out for a walk around the neighborhood. I was home alone and watching my roommate's 10 week old puppy and decided to take him along with me. I couldn't find his leash anywhere, so I decided to take a quick glance into his owner's room and see if said leash were somewhere in sight. I opened the door and upon my quick inspection the leash isn't to be found so I figured "Oh well I guess I'll just have to leave the puppy behind." Then the idea of checking my roommate's closet came to mind. It seemed like the most likely place for it to be and if it weren't clearly in sight I would disband my search. Now at this point I was a little uncomfortable going this far into a room that is not mine and for a split second wanted to bail. My intuition was screaming at me that going even this far was not worth it, but I stayed the course. I was just so certain that this would be the whereabouts of this seemingly mythical leash. I open the closet door and before I could even look for the damn thing, the puppy squeezed himself between my legs and sticks his head into the small trash bin that was placed at the corner of the closet. I pushed the dog away and closed the door behind me. At this point I saw the puppy was chewing on something, and I quickly rushed over and tried to dig out whatever he had gotten a hold of in his mouth. I grabbed what felt initially like a wad of wet tissue paper, but the puppy then bit down to keep me from taking it. Instinctively I pulled harder and what what happened next is what kills me. There was a quick a SNAP sound and a small splash of liquid flew onto my face. What was in my hand was a used condom the dog got a hold of and in my attempts to pull it out of his mouth, my roommate's wasted DNA is flung all over my face. I'm still trying to convince myself this didn't actually happen and that it must have been ANYTHING else. WTF | I attempted to stop a puppy from chewing on a used condom, and resulting tug of war flung its contents all over my face. |
t3_4wpald | relationships | My girlfriend [28 F] doesn't want me [22 M] to hang out or live with her | I met my girlfriend at my new work place and we've been dating for about 3 months. We're pretty compatible and intimate with each other. She's come to my place to sleep a couple of times, but whenever i ask to sleep at her place or even just to hang out there, she would refuse. Note that i live about 30 mins away from her and whenever she sleeps over i have to pick and drop her off. That's an hour drive. Her reasons are that she has a roommate, she promised her mom not to let any guys visit. However, I have never seen her roommate once but only heard about this "roommate" from my girlfriend. Also, my girlfriend dated 2 guys before me for a couple of years. and she lived with them for a few months. I feel like i'm not being treated fairly. Whenever i talk to her about this, she told me she will ask her mom about this later and I should stop pushing her. She also said that she made a mistake living with her ex's and i can live with her when we are married...
On another note, she's a bit high maintenance and almost always order me around like im her servant and ask me to do stuff for her. I noticed that she has a lot of high end brand name items and clothing like a 5k rolex. I asked her and she said her ex's gifted them to her but she didnt gift them that much back either. Before when we first started dating, she always offered help paying whenever we go out. But after a while, she just expects me to pay for everything because I am the guy. For example, we had a one night stay at a resort weeks ago, and I paid for everything. She does pay for some stuff very rarely and it's something very cheap. I do want to pay for her to have a good time with me but I dont have much since i just started working.
What should I do in these situations reddit? Please give me some advice. Am i being immature in this situation?
Thank you. | Girlfriend doesnt want me to hang out at her place. Makes up some BS excuses. I feel like I am being taken advantaged and not being respected by her because she asked me to pay and do everything for her. |
t3_11fqgb | relationships | I [F/22] have been with my SO [M/22] for more than a year. I don't understand the concept of giving space. Can someone help me? | To make it short, my SO asked for space and I mentally understand he needs space (it's been three months but I kept talking to him...), but I don't emotionally understand it.
We've been having trouble and he needs to think about things while I try changing myself.
He said he still wants to be with me, but needs more space. I want to fully understand it, but I can't.
If it were me, I'd like a bit of space and continue being by their side (if I still like them). When I like someone, I would like to be next to them as often as I can (not TOO clingy though).
If he likes me, why doesn't he want to be next to me? Or talk to me?
I understand he needs space... but I guess I don't understand enough. | I don't understand the feeling of liking someone and not wanting to talk to them or wanting to having some space from them. |
t3_1eoxka | BreakUps | Yesterday, my girlfriend [24] and I [24M] broke up after a year and a half. I've never felt so weak before in my life and don't know what to do. | Without getting into the specifics of the breakup, it was pretty much just a series of snowball effects. She felt that I didn't show her that I cared enough, I felt that she got mad at me too often, we both felt there were double standards and that we were being treated unfairly/unappreciated.
When we got along things were great and neither of us have ever cheated, nor did we ever expect the other person to cheat. I felt that this trust was key in the relationship (it is), but I now realize that knowing the other person won't cheat is the bare minimum amount of trust involved in a relationship and not something special.
We've done the break up/get together thing a couple times now, but this time felt real. It felt final. We currently live together and she spent last night at her girl friend's house. I now have to find somewhere else to live and move my stuff out in addition to dealing with this emotional stress.
I'm in a new city where the few guy friends that I have are supportive, but our relationship is primarily getting drunk and talking about sports. I talked to them yesterday because I needed someone to talk to and they just had the "that sucks, you should just go hook up with other girls" mentality. I feel like there will be a time for that, but I'm just in such a fragile mindset right now.
All I want to do is to take a week off work and sit around and cry. I really have never felt this weak before. Every moment I think about her and the things we used to do. I never remember how she hurt me and how she would treat me unfairly. I only remember the good times. It sounds terribly cliche, but my brain says I'm doing the right thing but my heart doesn't. Right now I'm just doing all I can to not contact her while still being able to move out. I suppose I don't really have a question to ask of you, but any advice, suggestions, anecdotes would help immensely. | Mutual breakup with gf yesterday. We live together and I'm not on the lease so I have to move out. First real breakup and I just have no idea what next step to take. |
t3_3p12vu | tifu | TIFU by nuking China | Little background - I go to an online school, but we go on campus every now and then. Therefore, a bunch of kids have their own laptops and they're allowed to have them out in class.
So, my non-technologically experienced friend has an Alienware laptop and a bunch of steam games. I mean like, 50 of them (most of which paid). However, he doesn't know much about the computers themselves. He knows how to operate them, types fast, and stuff - but he doesn't know what USB ports are.
He does, though, know what a virus is. I said that the flash drive in my hand would send a virus into your computer, and make it hack into the government's nuclear launch code - nuking China. Obviously, my friend was spooked. He went as far as to yell "Get away from me!" and "CHINA DESERVES TO LIVE!!!!!". At this point, half the class (including the teacher) was snickering, and about 1/4 was trying to suppress a laugh.
Here comes the FU. My flash drive had about 1 gigabyte worth of schoolwork documents. I plugged it into his computer, and he had no clue how to remove it. Frantically, he deleted my "Nuke Virus" folder that I set up for the prank. The folder had my schoolwork.
He deleted it.
He deleted years of schoolwork and important projects.
Obviously I didn't *actually* nuke china, but the ~~clickbait~~ context makes it sensible.
Luckily there were no upcoming assignments, so that's a relief. | Joke that my flash drive is a virus and will nuke china. 1 gig of schoolwork was lost that day. #neverforget. |
t3_zyocc | relationship_advice | [20/f] My boyfriend [21/m] of five months isn't as thoughtful as I am, and I am not sure what to do | I am what I consider to be an above average level of thoughtful for my SO, I do not expect him to exhibit that level of thoughtfulness, but I sometimes feel ousted in the relationship because I feel like I am always trying harder. When I say thoughtfulness, I am referring to things in the nature of "boyfriend is sick? visit him and bring his favorite cookies and gum" or "boyfriend likes mountain dew? keep it around the house". I have expressed this to him, and we have both acknowledged it is partly a factor of it not being his natural personality, whereas it is a part of mine. But, it being that we have been together for a while now, I have asked him to make some effort at being more thoughtful. He then goes on to say "he doesn't know what I want him to do". That's where I get stuck. I'm not sure how to explain how to "be thoughtful", and I can't just make a list of "things I want him to do", as from my viewpoint, being thoughtful is doing something small for someone unsolicited. Any advice on how to either work around or improve this would be much appreciated. | Girl likes boy, and boy likes girl. Girl does little things for boy, boy doesn't do for girl. Girl frustrated, boy frustrated, sad faces all around, you help please? |
t3_1ru2q4 | relationships | I am [28 M] - how do I deal with a (temporary?) separation from my [28 F] of five years? | [I recently came clean about a gambling problem] that has consumed me for the best part of a decade.
It's been a highly-emotional week and I'm taking the necessary steps to better myself and overcome the issue. It's early, but I am extremely confident in doing so now that I am accountable to more than just myself and can see tangible consequences of my actions first-hand.
Needless to say, I have immeasurably hurt my SO over the past few years. Lying, deceit, selfishness, denial and ultimately hindering us from reaching our goals.
While I work on getting better, she is doing likewise and has asked for a clear separation. We are currently living in different parts of the country anyway due to my job - but this also means dividing money, assets and basically ceasing all communication for a period of time and this is utterly terrifying to me.
In her mind right now, the past five years has been a fabrication. While she's partially right given the burden I've been too ashamed to admit until now, there were (are?) so many positive things between us. I hope in time she can realise this, but it's a very daunting and powerless situation to be in right now.
I acknowledge it's of my own doing. I am not here for sympathy. I would very much appreciate some insight from people who are going (or have been) through an indefinite separation. Did you get back together? Was it better/worse? How did you deal with being apart from that person?
We have built far too much in five years to throw it away and while my actions have caused a great deal of pain, I sincerely hope she can ultimately see that our goals remain the same and that our future is together. | My SO wants an indefinite period of separation and I am really struggling to deal with a) being apart after five years and b) the terrifying prospect of it remaining permanent. |
t3_4ekb73 | college | Please help me.. Dumb college kid | Hello!
I have never been on this sub before, I just looked for it and here I am. I am in a situation. I am a freshman in college, and I got a super great opportunity to go to school for free (from a very nice father) if I get a 3.0 GPA. That doesn't sound hard for a lot of people, I know, and that's for another time. I got a 2.89 last semester and my dad told me he would pay, but this semester I needed to get all B's plus an A. Well, this semester is not going well because math is really destroying me. Here's my question. Should I continue to go to school if my dad doesn't pay? I personally really do not want the debt, I have a very stable job as a cook at a private golf course and would be able to go there and eventually pay my way into culinary school (I think that's my dream to be honest... I don't know).
Sorry for the ramble, it's really killing me lately and I would love some advice on it. Oh and also this is an instate school so I pay pretty damn cheap still. Thanks I'm advance!! | If I had to pay for my own school by myself, would it be worth it? Or should I take a break and work and get a stable lifestyle first. Thanks! |
t3_48sq0b | relationships | I [18 F] have been talking to a guy [21 M] for 2 weeks now. (online) | To put it into simple terms. I type a lot when I'm texting - like literally 5 paragraphs. So, I really opened up to him over the past 2 weeks and he knows a TON about my life now. In return, to every text (5 paras) i send him, he gives me the EXACT same amount in return.
Meaning, he types maybe a bit more than me, as well. I know about his past etc. about him as well. We talk everyday.
I was just wondering if he likes me more than a friend because sometimes he texts on the bus/in class (and his texts are all really long), but at the same time he mentioned about his ex "I don't have the same feelings for her anymore but ngl some feelings are still there"
Oh and he also mentioned "I HATE texting so feel special" and he continues to send me long messages. | Now, I'm confused as to whether he has feelings for me or he still kinda likes his ex.. Idk what to say, because from what I've heard, most guys don't like to text long paras. |
t3_jcqqb | AskReddit | Do your "facebook impressions" from your facebook page count from a mobile device? Or is it strictly web based counts? | A page I manage for work just broke the 800,000 mark in 'likes' the other day. We posted a link for a free download, and with a number as high as that only had roughly 100 downloads.
I understand the ratio where 1 out of 5 people who like a page on facebook will actually click through a link that leaves facebook. And I understand how the impressions work as well.
We did 2 testings of the post. The first one posted at roughly 11am on a Thursday morning | do the impressions from a facebook page count mobile devices or facebook apps? or is it just a solid number from web only? |
t3_335v1i | relationships | Me [23 M] angry at my (supposedly now ex) SO [23 F]. She never came through for me. | Long story short:
I had a really rough time the other night. Anxiety, depression, etc etc. I was texting her all the awhile because talking with her was always helpful. Even the day before she said, explicitly, that she'd always be there, whenever, wherever I needed.
The same night we're chatting, she happens to be out with friends. I'm not doing very well and the only thing keeping me positive is our conversation. Then, out of the blue, she messages me to say that her phone needs to be charged and she won't talk the rest of the night. It's 10:00 and I don't hear from her again until 8 the next day.
When she messages me, I tell her that I really needed her and then suddenly she was gone. I'm skeptical that her phone really was dying because she's used that before. But even so, why couldn't she have checked it? Or called before bed? Something. I felt completely alone and left aside by her in the midst of her hangout.
We started to argue and she flipped out on me. Saying I was being unreasonable and making her feel bad and she refused to apologize. She said she was done and we haven't spoken since. It's been about a full day now.
I tried calling and she didn't respond. I left her a message saying how I felt and that she hurt me bad. I said that what she did was messed up, especially in light of how often i've come through for her.
I can't get over the anger I'm feeling. There have been times that I've been at her side no matter the time when she needed help. For hours I would assist in any way, no matter what I was doing. And now, the one time that I need it returned, she lets me down. She lets me down and then leaves when I confront her. I'm angry, sad, alone, and all the things you can think of. | SO ditched me for her friends in my time of need. Confront her about it, she calls it off and won't answer my call. |
t3_1el0fq | relationships | Is it possible to love someone but not be ready to settle down yet? (23f) | Me (23f) and my bf (22m) have been together for 2 years. Yet lately I've been thinking about other guys, or maybe even trying it out with girls. I love him to pieces and I'd never want to bring this up with him because I know it would devastate him. I want to marry him some day, yet I can't help but think i'm missing out on some experiences out there and that I probably shouldn't be in a commited relationship right now.
I've always held the firm belief that if you love someone, you don't desire anyone else. Please don't judge me. I feel like a terrible person... | in a long term relationship, with a man I love very dearly, but feeling like I'm not ready to settle down yet and be monogamous forever. |
t3_26sxsq | relationships | I (29m) dont think i want to marry my gf (26f) of 2 years. Is our relationship as good as over? | Ive been together with my SO for about 2 years. Im 29 shes 26. I know she wants to get married within the next 5 years but im not sure if I want to get married at all and if I did im not sure it would be to her. We have a good relationship, weve had our bumps but weve always been able to make things work. Im just scare of how divorce can affect me because I already own my house and have no financial need for mariage. Were also on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to kids. She wants a big family and I wouldnt want more than 2 kids if that. Besides that we agree on most of the big stuff.
Where I see issue is in the small things. We have completely different taste in food, music, TV and movies. Shed rather stay in and watch tv while I get bored staying still.
The other issue is while her parents like me and my parents like her; I dont think my friends approve of her as a potential wife and same for her friends towards me. I know my friends like her enough that it doesnt interfere with our friendship but I dont think they would support a mariage and ive had one friend tell me as much. As for her friends I dont think they like me at all.
So has our relationship run its course and if so should I end it or keep things up until something changes, or should I keep hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel. | weve been dating for a while, im trying to decide if there is a next step in our relationship and what direction does that step lead to. |
t3_1gt9jp | BreakUps | Ex girlfriend hooks up with another guy the day after we break up. What do I do? (M23) (F22) | Three nights ago, my girlfriend (6 months) and I had a conversation about our relationship that resulted in a break up. I was completely honest with her about how I felt like we were in a rut. She said something along the lines of, "it sounds like you're telling me we should break up." Although the thought of time apart had crossed my mind as a possible solution, I was really just confused and didn't know what to do. She cried and told me she loved me but that if I was unhappy that we should break up. I agreed, at the time, and she walked out without saying another word.
It took me a few days of wandering around confused, but I finally realized that this break up was something that neither of us really wanted - or so I thought. We met up to talk and she admitted to hooking up with another guy the night before - and all day long. She claims she was confused and hurt and that it meant nothing, but I'm having a really hard time buying the fact that this relationship really meant a lot to her given the fact that she wasted absolutely no time finding another guy to have sex with.
I know the breakup hurt her a lot, but it hurt me too! Just because I was the one who "technically" decided that we should break up, she's been blaming this whole situation on me. I was just trying to be honest with her... What do I do? | Dated a girl for 6 months, she hooks up with a guy the day after we break up. Thinking about getting back together - don't know what to think. |
t3_wfi30 | AskReddit | Had sex with best friends ex. Reddit, I need your help! | So here's the entire story:
About 3 months ago my best friend and cousin, Jeff started going out with this girl named Carrie. Jeff was not very committed to the relationship, (he would still try to fuck other girls if he could) and she was. I thought this was wrong but I never said, or did anything about it. Fast forward about two months, and they broke up (for some unrelated reason).
Fast forward about another month. My friend Steve brought Carrie over to me and Ricks (my roommate) house. I had been drinking a lot before she came, and when I saw her, I drank some more. Carrie is a good looking girl and I was very drunk. I asked her if she wanted to have sex. She said "I'll think about it".
A couple minutes later I saw her and Steve go into a bedroom together. When they came out I chatted with them for a bit, and went to bed. A couple of minutes later she comes in my bed. We have sex. After that she got out of my bed, and then i went to sleep. A couple hours after she had sex with me, she went to Ricks bed, and had sex with him (I found this out the next morning).
When I woke up the next morning I felt like shit psychically, and emotionally. I felt to the need to tell my cousin that we all had sex with her, so I did. He flipped a fucking brick. He told me that he hated all of us, and especially me since we have literally known each other since birth. I told him he was overeating, that he had been completely done with Carrie for over a month, and that he treated her like shit when he did date her.
He said none of that mattered, that he was going to "fuck me up" when he got back from his trip at the end of the week, and that I fucked up our friendship because of what I did. I tried to talk to him, but every time I do he just goes into a blind rage, and doesn't seem to care about anything I have to say. | I, along with 2 other guys (not at the same time), fucked my best friend/cousins ex-girlfriend whilst drunk. He tells me he hates me now. |
t3_3f03ie | relationships | Hey, [16 M] here. I have been working with a [18 F] for a few weeks and need to know what to do after a drunken hook up. | Hi, let's call this girl Sarah. Just this summer, like 4 weeks ago, I started working as a camp counselor. There my co worker was "Sarah". we were in charge of a group of about 15 kids at the day camp. We became friends and a couple of weeks ago we went to a party together, and before it we smoked weed and bonded together.
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Last weekend, we were at another party (there's like a party every weekend organized by the counselors). There we drank and smoked weed and had a pretty fun time. Later that night when we were both super drunk we started making out and that went on for like 30 secs until she stopped and said, " We shouldn't we're co's". So we stopped.
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Monday comes along and we kinda avoid the topic kinda jokingly mention it. Still she's been pretty touchy feely, more than before. What I needed advice on was what I should do next.
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My thought was to ask her if there's anything between us and if there is for us to be like together for the rest of the summer and have fun together. Would this be a good thing to ask, or would that just make it awkward between us? (It isn't really that awkward between us know)
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Thanks so much reddit, I'm pretty clueless about this but I know for sure that if I have even the slimmest of chances to like get with her more I want to. Sorry for any typos.
. | drunkily hooked up with my coworker, but she stopped us after s bit cause we're cos. Wondering if I have a chance at anything else and what I should do! |
t3_2pd5g1 | relationships | Me [23/M] and my ex girlfriend [21/F], have become FWB... for the third time. | I don't know what I expect out of this though, it's awkward as to be expected but it's nice and familiar. When we have sex it's like we are picking right back up from where we left and then afterward we will just cuddle and talk about nothing.
There is no fawning though, no one says 'I love you' or even 'I am falling for you' or anything, we just have sex cuddle and then talk about our days and it's nice, but I know it's not going to last. Someone will want more.
This happens more or less each time she breaks up with a guy, we start up having sex and just hanging out again and it's nice until she starts dating someone again or we just lose touch after a while (note; I am not faulting her for finding someone as we are both pretty vocal about that being an option for both of us).
I don't know why I am even writing this, as an ama, as a confession, asking for general advice. Just, I want to talk about it and don't know how. It doesn't help I am torn between more than one girl I am romantically interested in and I just like holding someone, she recently found out her ex fiance was cheating on her so I'm well aware I am a rebound but right now I'm fine with it, I like being needed. | Ex and I are boinking, I don't know how I feel about it, seeking input from others who had an ex turn to a friends with benefit. |
t3_imgnt | AskReddit | Need advice on quitting a job. | Not so much a job per se. I'm doing an internship over the summer and I have about 2-3 weeks left in this thing. I work at a real estate office for a real estate agent. My major is in political science but my advisor sent me to this guy and trusting my advisors judgement I went along with it. When I first started, my boss(the guy I'm interning for) explained a few things we were going to be doing over the course of the term some of which I could relate to my major. So far I've done none of what he spoke of when I first started. I've done tedious office work like collecting different contact information, organizing them into excel files and uploading contacts to his e-mail. This and some other odd jobs like creating flyers for his clients has comprised most of the work I've done here. But starting the past week or so, I haven't really done shit. Last week he asked me to stay from 9-5 for a day I missed the week before; a day I wasn't even supposed to come in . I tried to explain that I only came in Mon-Wed (not sure how he could have forgotten) but he wasn't getting the message. From 9am to 2:30 that day he sat next to me while I browsed reddit and talked to friends on FB. He had absolutely no work for me. We went out to grab lunch came back and I did a couple things here and there for about 45min when he had to leave early to meet with a client. This place is fucked and this internship is fucked. I'm here right now and I'm really getting sick of it. I have other classes I'm taking and I need to be working on more important shit. I'm thinking about asking him if we can just cut the internship off for the rest of the summer (he doesn't report to my advisor, I don't make any reports of the work I do either) or if instead of me coming in every Mon-Wed he can call me when he has some work for me to do. I'm really getting sick and tired of this shit. What do you think reddit? Any advice? | I'm stuck at a pointless internship for the summer with a boss who's aware that I'm doing 0 work and I want to quit with 3 weeks left. What should I do? |
t3_397cl5 | dogs | [Discussion] Choosing Tick Medication / Lyme Disease Testing | Just found about 5 - 6 ticks on my pup after he had a good time in NJ running around the park. We live in NYC so keeping an insect free house is a top priority. I'm just getting sick of finding them and it's grossing me out.
I called the vet about Lyme Disease and he said if no symptoms show up, dog should be fine and starting treatment isn't really necessary. He said to wait a couple weeks before freaking out since we found the ticks about 1 - 2 days after the fact.
That being said, we gave him a regular bath after removing 3 ticks and followed with Frontline we purchased in bulk at Costco. However, I am trying to get a second opinion because while I hate being "frugal" on my dog - Lets be real, I live in NYC, I don't make hella money, and I will penny pinch when I can. I have done some research with reviews on Amazon and saw a generic brand "Sentry Fiproguard Plus." which, out of 365 reviews was very highly rated. Higher than Frontline at nearly HALF the cost with the same ingredients. I buy generics for myself so I figure, what's the harm for my dog? Note: After much of the | What are your flea/tick medicine choices? Is this going to kill my dog? And how soon after finding ticks should I be getting him tested for Lyme Disease? |
t3_2os0zu | books | Hey reddit! My name is Sarah Noffke. I'm sophisticatedly silly, a college instructor, a wife, a mom, and in my spare time (ha!) I'm the author of The Lucidites Series. AMA [Author Spotlight] | Hey /r/books!
I have been writing all my life and have only recently focused that skill enough to complete a YA sci-fi fantasy trilogy.
For those that like to judge a book by its cover, here are the covers for the entire The Lucidites Series:
I'm self-published and launched all three books on November 23 on Amazon. Awoken is the first book in the series and features 16-year-old Roya Stark who has recently discovered she's a special race of people—Dream Travelers. Roya drowns every night in her dreams, spends her hours reading classic literature to avoid her family's ridicule, and is prone to premonitions—which are becoming more frequent. And now her dreams are filled with strangers offering to reveal what she has always wanted to know: Who is she? That's the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out. But will Roya live to regret learning the truth?
I'm super grateful to have the opportunity to do this Author Spotlight. I have taken many of the elements I hold dearly and written them into my books. Some of these are: time travel (I'm a huge Doctor Who fan), quantum physics, martial arts, classic literature, geography, history, paranormal abilities, and technology.
Now that I've introduced myself I'd love to hear your questions. I'm happy to answer questions about my books, me, my writing process, the road I took to get here, publishing or anything else tickling your brain at the moment (except Rampart). I'm itching to hear what you have to ask, so fire away. | Hi. My name is Sarah. I write books. I think you're all cool so let's chat about books! |
t3_2j6syd | relationships | Me [20M] with my new acquaintance [21F], confused on our situation if there even is one. | So, around two weeks ago I saw this girl on campus that I've had a crush on for a little over a year. I decide to finally approach her with my heart pounding, and we agree to meet for coffee that Friday afternoon and I leave with her number.
I am ECSTATIC. This is the first time I've felt truly happy in weeks. We meet Friday, and it goes great. We agree to see each other again soon before leaving. The very next day (Saturday) she invites me over to her house for some drinks and hanging out after her roommates have left.
As you might guess, one thing led to another, and I end up staying the night and we hang out until late Sunday afternoon. Saturday night, she began telling me how she had also had a crush on me for the better part of a year, and she also kept telling me how good of a kisser I was, how attracted she was to me, etc.
The next day, she tells me while we're hanging out that "she might start hating me for a week or so", just so I'm aware what "I'm getting myself into". We hang out throughout the day Sunday, and agree to see each other again.
We begin texting all throughout the week at least once a day, and things seem to be going pretty smoothly. However, the past few days, things have been different.
She is admittedly a bad texter and caller, and she does have ADHD so her attention span with phones and conversations is very limited when we're not together in person.
I'm concerned because these past two days, we've hardly talked at all. I'm not sure how to handle the situation because I don't want to come off as too eager or too clingy, but at the same time I don't want her thinking I'm not interested. | Meet a girl I've had a crush on forever, we hang out and I find out she feels the same way, however the last few days she's been very distant and I'm confused as to why. |
t3_17qkml | AskReddit | Oh, Reddit, is my job allowed to suck this much? | So I work 3 jobs. One being the main job I went to school for (a chain salon) and I also work retail and nanny on the side. My salon job gives me my schedule usually about a month in advance. However in the last few months, these schedules have been randomly changed, making me work at different salons in the area without even asking if I can.
Don't get me wrong, I love helping out. But I have 2 other jobs that my salon job knows about. I can't afford to quit those jobs and I also share a car so I don't always have a way across town to another shop. I guess my question is: after the schedules are finalized, are they allowed to change them without asking me?! They know I have other jobs that schedule me around their schedule. Can they do this to me? What can I do? | finalized schedules being changed without them asking me, I have 2 other jobs that work around this one, is this legal? |
t3_je39t | AskReddit | So I was fucked by GMail...any advice would help | Here goes...
Today I was shooting the shit with my friend on Gmail...talking about all things under the sun as we are wont to do. I had recently visited an old friend I had a crush on and was discussing her with my friend.
My friend and I hold nothing back and more or less serve as each other's filters to prevent the rest of the world from hearing what wretched, horrible thoughts may flow from our horrible, sick minds. So suffice it to say I treat our conversations as Top Secret Classified Area 51 on Pluto type stuff.
I was explaining to my friend that after going to visit the old crush, I felt like I needed to make a decision. The relationship I am in currently does not make me very happy and I needed a sounding board on the ethics of laying the foundation while still in a relationship.
While discussing that, we also threw in terrible, awful, horrible comments about our preferences for body types and any number of other gross, perverted, and inappropriate things guys talk about.
Here's the problem...this was done on GChat. Unbeknown to me, if you have a GChat conversation on your Android, it pops up in your GMail in its full glory. The girl I am currently dating, who I gave a key to yesterday, opened up GMail in my browser at home. Yes, this is my fault.
She read conversation related to my old crush, whether I foresaw a future with her, the ethics of laying the foundations for trying for my old crush while dating her, and how I felt like my old crush 'got me better.'
I know there is no salvaging this relationship. I feel I was not in the wrong in discussing these things with my best friend. This is not an argument I wish to pursue. It will fail and is a bit skeevy.
My question to you, great hivemind, is how do I let this girl down easy? I feel like she should drop me like a bad habit but won't. I don't want to hurt her but I already have. Any advice? | girl I'm dating stumbled upon my raunchy GChat convo about ethics of cheating, body type, and various other horrible things. I have to break up with her and try not to hurt her. How? |
t3_2di89r | relationships | Me [25 M] is attracted to a girl that my friend might/not chase after, what to do? | So there's this hot girl Alice and my good friend Mike.
Mike knows Alice from college but she isn't really in his social circle, but we all recently met at a mutual friend's party. Mike expressed some interested in the girl but is not confident enough to go out and ask her on a date because her education and career is more successful than his. They went on a few dinners together with other friends but never in private setting. I asked him why he mentioned he's actually not entirely interested in starting a relationship at the moment, but I can tell he did not kill off the idea of going after her, maybe just not now.
However, I am also attracted to Alice and I'm pondering how I should approach this? For one Mike isn't proactively courting her so I feel like he's not serious about Alice. But I'm not sure how to ask him about this since I don't want to ruin our friendship. I just want to find out if he's interested or not, if not I will give it a shot, but not sure how to open the line.
I know this might sound silly since they're not even together, but I really don't want to incept the idea into him that I'm trying to snatch her, like taking away his buffalo wing after he has already licked it...
Can someone explain international dibs protocol and how it applies in this case? | My friend called dibs on a girl but doesn't seem to be 100% serious. I want to date her but don't want to be a dick. How should I talk to my friend about this? |
t3_ikxey | relationships | Please! Help me come to terms with this & stop feeling like such a hypocrite! | I love porn. I'm a huge fan of it, watch it regularly, yada yada. When my boyfriend (29) and I (28/f) first started dating, we had a nice talk about it- both of us on the same page, both thinking it's just an awesome extra to single or couple life.
I am starting to experience extreme jealousy when I know he is most likely watching porn. I have never felt like that before, it's just something that's always been a non-issue. I have also never cared about anyone as much as I care for him. I love this guy on every level possible. We've been together about a year and a half and moved in together last month. No problems with the relationship, close friendship, amazing sex life.
I feel ridiculous! I would normally just talk to him about anything bothering me, but it sounds so stupid to me. He knows I love porn, so how idiotic it would sound, me telling him that I'm uncomfortable with him watching it.. I mean, really. I feel like an idiot even mentioning it here.
Something else I don't understand is that while the thought makes me sooo unreasonably jealous and for some reason self-conscious, it also REALLY turns me on. This morning for instance- he's been working nights, I work days, I had to leave early to be at work in time this morning- I know he will have masturbated before going to sleep, and the thought of that made me so horny. And jealous. Lol. I literally pulled off the main road on my drive to work about halfway there to masturbate, I was that turned on. And then I went right back to feeling jealous and anxious.
So dumb!!
Can anyone make sense of this or maybe say something that might get me to chill the fuck out? I know he loves me, I know he's attracted to me, I completely understand why he watches it since I do too, I know it has nothing to do with me... so wtf! | I'm feeling like an idiot because I've recently started feeling jealous and insecure when my boyfriend watches porn- when it's something I enjoy doing myself. |
t3_iq3nq | BreakUps | Keep running into ex. | Me:24/f Him:26/m Relationship: 6months Ended: Feb 2011
I fell, cautiously, yet inevitably in love with a man, who is now my ex. The problem is, I sometimes run into him, whenever that happens, I usually end up crying myself to sleep that night.
We were a great couple. I've never trusted or respected anyone so much; he was wise, and the sex was off the charts. I fell in love with him - and told him. I never got a response. A couple weeks later he broke up with me over gchat, saying that I am not mature, and something has always been off with us. Which was news to me.
I've poorly tried to keep him out of my life. I obtained a new bf for about a month, until I realized that I was not over my ex yet. Slept with my ex soon after - he led me on. I know it delayed my recovery immensely. I've blocked him on all fronts recently.
Tonight, I ran into my ex at the gym ( I run into him about least once a week) We talked only of work. I really love seeing him, but it kills me that I can have him as a friend, but not at all of him. | I run into my ex-bf about once a week, and I can't help but cry after. I've blocked him on all fronts, otherwise. How do I get over him? |
t3_2x7y3e | relationships | Me [19M] with my ex-girlfriend [19 F] of 1 year and good friend of 5 years. Coping with the breakup... | Howdy all. I guess I'm just here for some tips on coping with getting out of a long-term, although shaky, relationship. I'm not really sure how much background info I should provide, so just pick and choose what is relevant I guess. :)
**Nitty-gritty details:**
*Met my (now ex) girlfriend my sophomore year of high school (2010).
*We only knew each other for less than a month before she moved overseas.
*Talked nearly every day for the 2 years she was overseas. Both of us expressed interest about how we want to be in a relationship but not while we were thousands of miles between us. We agreed that we would definitely date if she returned back to the states for university.
*We would "hook-up" (gah, I hate that phrase...) every time when she was visiting the U.S. She was my first and I was also her first.
*We began dating last year (February 2014) when she returned back to the US for university.
*Broke up about every 3 months, with less than a month after each break up we'd get back together.
We just ended things for "good" this past January... and geez, it has not been easy on me. I know that it's for the best that we aren't together any longer. Towards the end of our relationship I got the feeling that I wasn't "proper" enough for her...and I found myself always having to change who I truly was when I was around her so I wouldn't say something that would upset her.
But, there just seems something so wrong to not be talking to someone that I once talked to every day for nearly 5 years. I guess I just don't know how to cope with this sadness any longer. I really, really want to give her a call and just hear her voice again. Is it possible to be friends ever again with her? | Recently ended my relationship "for good" with my ex-girlfriend. Miss her as a friend...and possibly romantically but I don't know if I actually miss her, or whether just being in a relationship in general. |
t3_2l1dbb | personalfinance | Buy or Lease a car that I only want for 3-4 years? | I'm interested in upgrading my current car, a 2011 hyundai sonata. And going for a better car since I'm graduating university, dislike the sonata, and make enough money to do so.
I checked out the payment estimator on a car manufacturer's site and it appears as though the lease payments are very expensive compared to the cost of the car. A $48,000 car with $4,500 down having a lease payment of almost $600. It would appear that I would be putting in around $26k over 3 years, only to not get to keep the car.
On the other hand, if I financed it, i'd be building equity in the car (I know depreciating asset...) so after a 4 year finance term, I'd still be able to sell it. And I think I'd be able to sell it for more than $21k which is how much I'd be saving by only leasing the car. Similar cars I've seen on Craigslist go for closer to $30k after being 3-4 years old and having around 45-50k miles. Does this mean that if I financed, I could essentially save $9k on the car -- assuming I sell it after 4 years? | Lease or Finance a car that I will only keep for 3-4 years? I can afford expensive monthly payments if in the long run, I save money. I can also afford expensive down payments if necessary. |
t3_3spcg4 | tifu | TIFU by putting a milkshake inside of a milkshake | Okay, so the title is rather self explanatory and the effects of the fuck up are on going. I just recently went from working out three days a week to six days week (full body routines to targeted exercises/lifting) and that means more protein shakes.
I should note last night around 10PM, after working out with a coworker, I went to CookOut. Cookout is the best fast food around, hands down, at least where I'm at, especially for the return on investment for your money. So anywho, I had a cheesburger, chicken wrap, corndog, chicken nuggets, and a huge tea because goddamn I was hungry.
Today was leg day so I killed my legs and on the way home decided I wanted to spice things up in my life. What better way to do this than with a glorious CookOut milkshake? These things are essentially a pint of soft serve with whatever add-ins you want and they're fucking amazing.
Now I'm a real genius and decide, hey, why dont I just take the shake home and incorporate it into my normal protein shake? So I grab a chocolate shake and go home determined to make something delicious. I put the whole shake in the blender along with three scoops of protein and more milk, because it was gonna be too thick to really enjoy at that point.
Well I drank the whole damn thing. It took refilling a glass three times to take it all down but dammit I did it. I felt no ill effects. But as soon as I got upstairs, holy shit did I feel something not so right.
I sat on the toilet contemplating whether I'd end up seeing something again via the body's front or back door. Unfortunately it was the back. So here I sit, unable to move from this spot, because I every time I stand up, my body finds more things to send out the, er, back door. | Put a shake in a protein shake, that was WAY too much dairy to take in at once; body decided rather than send back the dairy, to expel everything else. I am currently a sad person. |
t3_12lwfw | relationships | I (24M) have lost sexual interest in my gf (27f) even though it's a perfect relationship otherwise. | Me and my gf have a FANTASTIC relationship, we see eye to eye on so many things and I can't imagine being with anyone but her. Being with her is pretty much everything I've ever dreamed of in a relationship. But since we have been together she has let herself go to such an extent I am losing sexual interest. In her defense she had a severe spinal cord injury and it is difficult for her to excersize, but she does no favors for herself in how she diets. She was a curvy girl when we started dating but has since gained over 50 pounds, pushing her well into the overweight category. The last time we had sex I actually had to pretend I was having sex with one of my exes to stay hard. This is really starting to get to me, I REFUSE to leave her, I love her more than anything, but lets be honest, when sex goes it causes a relationship to go stale. I managed to tell her that we should diet, and she is eating a little better but the weight isnt coming off. I'm not 100% sure of my question but I guess...
How do I deal with loss of sexual interest in an otherwise amazing relationship? | Gf has let herself go (though not entirely her fault) and I have lost sexual interest in an otherwise amazing relationship. |
t3_1te4kc | relationship_advice | [16/M] What's my next move? | Thish girl [16/F] and i was chatting (on facebook) and we got to the subject of fetishes. We told eachother what ours were and it was with a generally flirty tone.
Then she told me to make a list of girls that are mutual friends of ours, and that i you sleep with and who i would want a relationship with. I made her a list of seven girls (including her) and said that relationship were the same people.
She then made her list of seven, in which i was in aswell.
I dont really have a crush on her, but she's hot and fruity so why not?
Should i go for this? What is my next move?
Also, my friend tried his luck with her recently (while he was drunk) but she has said that she wasnt interested in him. | this girl and i have both said that we want to sleep with eachother in a list, go or no go? |
t3_1rtf02 | relationships | I [16F] don't know how to help my [16M] boyfriend feel better. Together for 1 year | My boyfriend and I have been friends for a while, and have been dating for almost as long (15 months). I love him, and I care for him very much. I try my hardest to be there for him, but I don't think I am actually helping him. Therein lies my problem.
His parents got divorced recently, and he's still upset about it. (I'm not mad at him for being upset.) It's not unusual for him to be torn up about it. Every time he comes to me saying how much he misses being normal, and how much he misses his older sister and having his dad there, it breaks my heart. His parents have had some problems with child support, which is something he is often upset about as well. These problems have led him to believe his dad doesn't care about him, which I know really hurts him. I want to make it all better and take his pain away... I know I can't, but I want to help him. Since I have lived a mostly stress free life (which I'm thankful for!), I have a hard time trying to relate to him and help him feel better.
/r/relationships, I would really appreciate it if you could help me out. How can I help someone with so much pain inside of them to feel better? If you've taken the time to read this, thank you so much. I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful weekend. (: | My boyfriend [16M] often feels sad because of his family troubles. I [16F] want to help him, but I don't know how. |
t3_3c8ytu | relationship_advice | 29(M) GF(29) is 4mo pregnant, standoffish, and I am unsure what to do next. | My girlfriend and I have been dating just about a year, last July. We started out great, chemistry was all their but out interests never really lined up all that well. We did well and introduced each other to new things and really had fun doing it. We were together until April when we slowly drifted apart and she finally ended things with me. Few days after we break up she calls me and tells me she took pregnancy testS and they all came back positive. Turns out she had been pregnant for just over a month and she uses this as the reason we broke up, "hormones" making her feel different. We talk for hours and decide together to try and work things out, we were doing so well before she became pregnant it's very possible it was the hormones. Also, a kicker in this, she slept with a guy immediately upon our breakup.
Sex for her is seldom about the emotional attachment but physical draw. She can sleep with someone and have very little emotional attachment. It is her personality and its actually something I find very attractive, the ability to be emotional or separate and/or be anamilistic.
Anyways, ever since we found out she was pregnant things have been going great. We spend quality time together, go to the doctor appointments, start planning our living situation, and really working for our future. Up until early last week...
We don't live together and I haven't seen her in a week, she doesn't work and I work 60hour weeks, and she doesn't really talk to me much about what she does in her free time. Actually she doesn't share that information at all with me sometimes, and when we aren't physically together it can feel like we aren't in a relationship at all. I start to feel like she is using this baby as a resource for monetary gain (even though dragging me along wouldn't benefit her more than child support). I start getting a fear that she has a master plan of breaking things off with me as soon as the baby is born and she will just file for CS. The worst part, I am unsure of what options I have at this point and I feel completely lost. | My pregnant SO may be using me for money while pregnant just to break it off when the child is born, then file for CS. |
t3_1aijxn | relationships | Me (m19) been with (f18) for three years, but I don't want to rush into an 'adult' relationship. | Ive been with my sophomore year sweetheart for three years and they've been pretty much flawless. We've never had a fight where we couldn't stop, take some deep breaths, then talk our way through. We've gone on dates, I've taken her all over and overall I think we have a very healthy relationship.
In September she moved away (long distance) to go to college while I stayed home working a full time job. She has since left the college as she is pursuing a different field, and this new degree she is going for brings her back 'home'. About a month later I moved out and got the opportunity of a lifetime when I scored a full time, well paying, long term, high advancement job in a field that I very much enjoy. Basically, knock on wood, this is a job that, with advancements, can take care of me plus a few for life.
My problem is, I don't know if my girlfriend is willing to be involved with it. This job is one where it will involve a lot of cooperation on her part as well. She is not very interested in this field, and I don't know how to approach seeing if she is willing to learn more about it or not.
We've openly talked about being together when were old, but never talked about marriage or anything of the like, so I take it not very seriously. She has been burned by friends in the past when she is open about her feelings, and doesn't like talking about things that aren't in her control (such as this).
So I guess I need a question. My question is: How can I ask my girlfriend if she is willing to learn and become involved in my job field, one that could within 10 years have an income that could care for both of us comfortably, without scaring her off?
I'm busy Monday and Tuesday, but she is coming over Wednesday to talk, and as such I truly appreciate all of your help. Thank you. | I just accepted a career-job in a field my girlfriend isn't extremely interested in, and I want to know how to ask if she's willing to learn it without possibly scaring her off (because I'm thinking long term). |
t3_2juitg | relationships | A girl I like[15 F] seemed like she liked me [15 M], earlier in the year, but now she just randomly seemed to stop and kinda seems to dislike me now. | I am not a crazily unattractive guy. I am not overweight, I have a decent amount of muscle, fit, etc. I am kinda quiet yet I'm not shy, it's just that I often have nothing to say. There's this girl [15 F] I've liked for a while. At the beginning of the school year, I talked to her and it really, rrreeaaally seemed like she liked me. And then boom. It now seems like all the signs are gone and she doesn't like talking to me and she doesn't approach me and it's like she *dislikes* me now, totally not interested. The thing is, it's not her mood that's changed, she still acts the same in general and to other people. But to me, nah. There is no single event that changed this, it happened sporadically and I've begun noticing it after a couple of days 2 weeks ago. Fuck, I was happy and enjoying life and it all crashed down, and I just can't explain or figure out why. If there's any additional questions you have, feel free to ask. Thanks for your help. | Girl liked me then suddenly seemed to not anymore for no clear reason, not going for the better either(a rollercoaster that only goes down). |
t3_1dwu6v | relationships | GF[19] might move away for a while, I'm [19] not sure what to do. | Hi reddit this is my first post. I met my girlfriend online about a month and a half ago and she's my first serious GF and I'm her first serious BF. She is a great girl and I think the relationship has been great so far, but we really dont get to see each other a lot (maybe only a couple of hours a week) because she is so busy. We go to different schools in the same city. I wish I could spend more time with her and she feels the same way.
Recently, she's been having trouble in her classes and she might have to go back home after this semester is over. Her family lives across the country and I live in the city that I go to college in now. If she fails an important class, then she is forced to take a break from school and stay home until Spring 2014. She won't find out until late may. Our plans before she started having trouble in school was for me to visit her in the summer because she planned on going back home anyway. Now it looks like she will leave for home in two weeks and not come back until next spring. We have said we want to make things work out and I have the money to visit her a couple of times until next year if she does fail the class.
But is it better to just move on, reddit? I haven't been with her for long enough to say that I love her but I don't want to just throw things away out of inconvenience because I feel there's potential. | Been seeing first GF for 1.5 months. She might go home and we wont see each other until next spring. What should I do? |
t3_ha2hi | needadvice | I got scammed on eBay (with Paypal), not sure what to do... | Hey guys/gals,
I had the chance to win a Spectral Tiger card (WoW collectible, has a card and a digital good redeemable in WoW). It is worth unscratched more or less 600-800 bucks on eBay so I put it there (don't play wow anymore) for 600$ start, 750$ buyout. 2 days in someone bought it, sent me an email asking for the code since he was away (I know I know, never again) and to send him the card after. I got the money, sent the code and waited for news.
Zoom 4 weeks later, a chargeback is filed to the credit card who paid the 750$. A fraud is later filed with Paypal, and I got an account with -700 some money in the Paypal account. Filled everything with conversations and proof that I sent the digital goods.
Fraud case closed without comments two weeks ago. Chargeback case closed 2 days ago, with the comment that "Paypal was looking for it", but nothing was left as "opened".
I guess I have a couple of choices here:
1. Ask blizzard for fraud, try to get back a working code and make the original code stop. Resell the good to someone who wants me to send the card itself.
2. File a fraud with Paypal and/or eBay. See where that goes. Their help is really shitty as to what the options are, they're basically just saying that they look things up and make decisions.
3. Suck it up... that's a big suck up though and I hope this is not the last option that remains :( If it's the last thing I do, at the very least I'll frame that freaking card over my chimney as a good conversation starter.
/r/needadvice, what do you think? | got scammed for 750$, chargeback went through and Paypal made me pay back the money. Can't resell the digital good. Physical good is worthless. What do I do? |
t3_4ly53l | books | Haven't been reading as much lately due to my getting distracted by the internet. Anyone else experience this? | I've always been REALLY into reading. In elementary/middle school i constantly had my nose in a book, and same with 9th through 11th grade. I'm currently in 12th grade and have not had any focus to read :( I crave reading as much as i always have, i just find myself getting easily distracted (usually by the internet/youtube, but also mobile games and music) while doing so. It's frustrating to not feel as satisfied as i used to whilst reading.
I think that maybe i just haven't found any good series or stand alone novels to sink my teeth into lately. Usually when i run out of new content, i reread old favorites from when i was 8 years old (shoutout to Holes, Hoot, Things Not Seen, and an anatomy textbook) but even that's become unsatisfactory. I remember a time when the only escape from boredom was books... The internet is now distracting me. I think the internet makes me feel more productive in a way? The things i view are philosophies about important issues so it would make sense for that to feel more worth doing that reading harry potty for the billionth time :/ | I feel that the internet is distracting me from reading and it's very frustrating. Looking for advice on how to take a break from the internet long enough to fully indulge in that "incredible story" feeling. |
t3_329rw4 | relationships | I [20 M] broke up with my now ex [20 F] of two years. How to cope? | Hey guys,
I went through a rough break-up two nights ago, and am having a lot of trouble coping with it. We are both the same year, go to the same university and both have the same majors. Basically, it's hard not to see her, and I just find myself thinking about her.
Personally, I have thought about this a lot and set up a lot goals for myself, now that I'm single. I want to improve upon myself and fix my personality mistakes, I want to focus more on my classes, and I want to work as hard as I can on my new job. I'm graduating early and I truly want to grasp every moment I have left of my 'childhood'. In a way, I think that I will be very busy with academic work and working towards my goals, so at least I have that.
However, sometimes I just find myself finding some free time and automatically think about her. Sometimes I loose emotional control of myself and dwell in the past. Is there a way to deal with this situation? I personally don't have a tremendous group of friends who I can find support from, but it's not like I talk to anyone much in the first place. | just got off a super serious relationship, how do I deal with it, despite keeping myself busy for the most part? |
t3_2h1zjl | dating_advice | Online dating disaster. Can I [35/f] fix it? | Maybe disaster is too extreme of a word. But, anyway, I need good advice.
I went on a dating site and met a guy. We texted for about two weeks, and then last week, we met for a date. He's younger than me--28--and at first I was nervous about it, but I ended up having a great time. I find him really attractive; the chemistry was there. We went out a few more times, and that initial attraction faded. However, I do really like him. He's funny and talented. Despite our age difference, we have a lot in common.
I am afraid that I freaked him out a bit this past weekend. We went out with some of his friends, and I had too much to drink, so I ended up staying at him house, rather than driving home. Nothing happened, and I felt pretty foolish leaving the next day. I'm this older, divorced single mother, and I felt like I came on too strong with this young guy. He was nice, though--he texted me yesterday. But, I'm feeling the fade out coming.
Here's the thing--I genuinely want to be friends. I was divorced a year ago, and I am not ready for a relationship anyway. I really really want a friends. I know he's not into me romantically, and I'm not either.
How do I get him to be my friend? I don't want to be aggressive, or weird by texting that to him. But, I also don't want him to think that he has to cut things off with me because I can't handle his rejection. He's right. I had too much to drink, and I was lonely. I'd much rather have a cool friend, honestly. | I came on too strong, and I think I scared off a guy I'd actually like to be friends with. Can I fix it? |
t3_nzn1c | AskReddit | What do you think about my new plan to quit smoking?? Any suggestions?? | I have been a regular smoker from 2005. I quit in 2008 which lasted till jun 2011. During this whole period of ~2.5 years i didn't smoke even a single cig. I would party and go on brakes with smoker friends without any problems and still never smoked.
My strategy every time i had a craving was to think about anything else around me. literally anything...
I started smoking again for no good reason. And it was when I was really happy with my life with no stress. But still i gave in.
I have tried a couple of times to quit since i started again, it lasted for 3 days, twice for 7 days and on one occasion for 2 weeks. But it was never more than a break from smoking.
So here i am again.
This time my strategy is to hate smoking. I am replacing "quit" smoking by "hate" smoking.
Below is the speech that i am gonna read in my mind every time i want to smoke. Eventually i hope to train my self to hate smoking.
Just look at these bastards ... Off-course I know that these suckers are going to kill me...
slowly!!!
They make me smell like a fucking ashtray, my teeth, lips are ruined and they are sucking the life out of my lungs.
And ya, that more risk of cancer for a smoker...fuck cancer too.
They think i am a slave to them... fuck them... i am slave to nobody.
I don't want these fuckers near me...i don't need them ... I hate them.
If these bastards come near to me again i am gonna throw them to the wall and fucking kick them and stamp them till they are no good to anybody.
Every time I see them I am gonna think about the hate, anger and rage i have against them...
I hate these fucking cigarettes... and I just hate smoking.
My inspiration: from [/r/rstopsmoking](
**Edit1: | trying to hate smoking so that i can quit, wrote a hate speech for cigarettes... what do you think??? Any suggestions?? |
t3_1b440c | Advice | My best friend basically ended her friendship for a guy she's been with over 6 times a few weeks ago. She apologized to me yesterday. Should I forgive her? | She has broken up and gotten back together with this guy over 6 times. The 7th time she got together with him, I confronted her about it, because she just keeps getting hurt over him, and I didn't want that to happen. She calls me judgmental, and then compares me to her other friend.
This is the exact text she sent me when she basically went off on me:
"Dude you're so judge mental. And you wonder why I don't tell you shit. As a "best friend" you should support my decisions!! Just like Taylor (her other best friend) does. Dude why don't you? I mean yeah, Courtney we have our good times but our arguments are getting more frequent! ... So umm... What's the point of this friendship? Yeah we've known each other since BIRTH but this isn't the type of best friend I want . . . I'm sorry."
This is the apology text she sent me yesterday.
"You know what fuck this! If I don't message you we won't be cool. Look Courtney ... Things got bad & I know if you were still there I'd be fine! I let you go cause' I didn't like hearing what I didn't wanna hear. & you know that.... But I understand that you just would tell me straight up cause' you didn't wanna see me get hurt. I understand that now.. I don't know if you're doing bad or good or if you even wanna talk to me but at least I know I tried /: I never stopped loving or caring about you & you'll always be my best friend in my heart."
Should I forgive her? All I remember is the fact that she said "This isn't the type of best friend I want" I want to be friends with her. But then again, I don't. I'm torn, and I need help trying to make a decision. | My best friend and I had a fight a few weeks ago, she apologizes yesterday, and I'm torn between forgiving her or not. |
t3_1kt4es | relationships | so I [18/m] had sexual contact with a "friend"[18/F], i like the girl but i'm not sure what i should do. | alright, so we were on a three day train ride on our way to college, it was our first year, i knew the girl, but not so great, both her and i were on the same train. the first night was okay, but the second night was when things started to heat up. she had her head on my shoulder, i was becoming uncomfortable,i put me arm around her shoulder- this all happens in the middle of the night, around 2 AM- so she immediately lays her head and most of her body on top of her chest. my hand is next to hers and she grabs my hand and put it on her stomach. she wiggles around so that my hand falls lower and lower, so i unbutton her jeans and i stop, she puts my hand there again, so i am forced to pleasure her with my hand.
After we finish doing said act, she holds my hand and we go back to sleep. the next morning was the most awkward time i have ever experienced. she didn't speak to me or even go as far as looking at me in the eyes. she told my best friend- who was also on the trip with us and would later be my room mote- that we would be better off as just friends, but clearly we did things that friends do not do. she even went as far as saying that the whole thing was my idea - this conversation between her and i was over text-, and when i said that she could have told me to stop, she said that she was "living in the moment".
Its been three days since this happened, I've talked to her, but she doesn't want to speak to me. Reddit, what should i do? i still want to be friends with her, and maybe pursue a relationship, but how am i supposed to do that if she wont talk to me. I would like to remain friends because she does not handle break ups in a mature way- she always ends up hating her past boyfriends- i don't want to lose a friend. | i fingered my friend on the train, i like the girl, but i'd rather be friends instead of pursuing a relationship that might not work, i don't know how to handle this. |
t3_1n85ww | dating_advice | Unsure of my own intentions, Not sure how to proceed (M21/F20) | So last week I joined a campus organization that puts on concerts on campus. We had our first concert last weekend and to put a long story short, I ended up spending the evening with one of the girls on the council and we had a lot of fun. We ended up drinking through the night and making out at about 2am in the grass on a campus lawn. It was an awesome night and I like the girl a lot.
My problem, though, is that I have no idea what my ultimate intentions with this girl are. This is my first fling since I broke up with my GF of 3.5 years at the beginning of the summer. I just got back into dating and am currently talking to several girls. My original goal was just do some casual dating and have fun before getting into another relationship. I've never done that and I'd like to while I'm still young. I have another date with this girl on saturday evening, we are having a picnic near campus. The thing is, I really don't want to hurt her or mislead her. She's a great girl. I want to be upfront with my intentions, but I still don't know what they are. I don't want to come off like I'm looking for a relationship and then realize that it isn't what I want. I also don't want to tell her I'm not looking for a relationship and then later wish I'd given it a chance. I also have to see this girl at least once a week all year long and I don't want things to blow up in my face. I have no idea what her expectations are with me. This is my first time doing anything like this since high school, and at that time I knew from the start that I wanted a relationship with the girl. My ex was my GF before we ever even slept together. I guess I'm just looking for perspective into what people normally expect in situations like this. It's all so new to me. Thanks to anyone who can help. | First time back into dating world with girl I see regularly, wondering about my intentions and usual expectations at the beginnings of flings. |
t3_33ifuj | relationships | How do I [18F] stop my mom's boyfriend [51F] from making me feel uncomfortable? | Need some advice, this is a sensitive topic that I don't feel comfortable talking to friends about, so here goes.
I've been raised in a pretty unstable home growing up. My dad's never been in the picture and my mom's been in and out of jobs and relationships for as long as I can remember. I'm finishing up my senior year in high school and still live at home (only have a part-time job that pays for day-to-day stuff I need).
The problem is my mom's boyfriend. He's been in the picture for the past 5-6 months and she is head over heels for him. He constantly makes sexual comments to me/about me when we are alone, and comes over to my house when my mom is working. In front of my mom, he acts like a "funny" but reasonably normal guy, but will say things like "you're growing up nicely", aka nothing TOO ridiculous. I did confess this to my mom but she has sided with him and accused me of trying to take away her happiness.
Recently, his comments to me in private have been getting more and more graphic, specificially he mentioned how I look like a younger, hotter version of my mom and that he would love to "have a go" with me.
I don't know what to do, I don't feel safe but he hasn't actually physically done anything or actually threatened to exactly hurt me. Could this escalate into something really bad?? | Mom's boyfriend makes sexual comments to me and my mom is defending him. Not sure what to do as he has been escalating this over time. |
t3_2pds4t | relationships | Girlfriend (19) told me (M21) that I could do better than her. Is she trying to distance herself from me or is she looking for reassurance. Together 7 months. | First off, I took her out the other night for a drink in a local club (live in Scotland, she's old enough to drink). When I was at the bar ordering drinks a girl came over and talked to me whilst my girlfriend sat with her friends at a table. She had obviously not seen I was with someone as I was by myself ordering drinks.
We had a normal conversation whilst we talked and I could tell she was starting to get flirty because she was laughing at the smallest thing i said and was touching my arm when she laughed etc. So when I got served I just said I had to go take drinks over to my girlfriend. That was that.
Anyway, she seemed pissed off for most of the night at me for something. I did get pretty drunk so I put I down to that.
Yesterday she was telling me how she felt a little bit jealous and she said just got a little pissed off. Understandable. I told her I was being polite and she agreed.
After I had said that she says that I could do better than her. Now immediately red flags pop up, I heard that this can be another way of distancing yourself emotionally.
This freaked me out so I reassured her at first and then she said it again. I told her how this has made the old sirens go off in my head.
I asked her if she's is still happy with me and she said yes and started to look worried then said I'm making her panic.
I reassured her and told her that I always understood it for a way of starting to distance yourself. She told me she loves me and she can't imagine being without me, so I have nothing to worry about. She was upset that I would think she would just end our relationship, because she regularly expresses her feelings towards me.
I can get pretty anxious about things.
So obviously this is the first thing that came to mind. I've spoken with friends about it, some say my fear. Others say she was just looking for a bit of reassurance in our relationship.
I don't know what to think, help? | Girlfriend says I could do better. I confront her on this asking if she's trying to breakup. She gets upset and tells me she can't imagine being without me. Unsure what to make of it. |
t3_2v0png | relationships | My [15 M] girlfriend [15M] of 5 months has been extremely distant for the past few weeks. | Everything was going great until one day we were cuddling, just talking, and she had a bit of a panic attack. She just started tearing up, breathing really hard, couldn't calm down. She has anxiety but this hasn't happened for a while, and never while we were together so I didn't know what to do.
The next day I asked what happened, she tried to explain but couldn't really (she's a very reserved person, not good with confrontation).
Since then, she's seemed really sad most of the time and doesn't interact with me as much. Often she doesn't walk with me to classes, she doesn't text or call me anymore (I almost exclusively call or text her now), when we do text her texts are short and abrupt and on the phone she seems distracted. She's been "busy" every weekend since that panic attack and we haven't been able to see each other outside of school since. Tomorrow (Saturday) we're going to hang out for the first time since.
I was worried something had changed in the way she felt about me, and when I brought this up to her she assured me that wasn't true and that she still loved me. She even wrote me this adorable "love note" a few days later because she knew it was still bothering me.
Whenever we are together everything seems fine, just like it usually is.
I don't know what to do but this is becoming too much for me and I miss her. I don't want to talk to her about it too much anymore because she says she feels bad about it. I feel awful when she avoids me or never wants to see/talk to me. | Girlfriend is being really distant after random out of nowhere panic attack a few weeks ago. Don't know what to do. Looking for an explanation or advice on how to move forward. |
t3_44bewm | Advice | I'm about to lose my apartment | So I did a series of dumb things and am about to pay for it. Maybe some of you can talk me off the ledge or help me figure this out? I left a physically abusive family situation two months ago and I'm renting an apartment for $1069/month. I make $1978.38/month, which I thought was plenty of buffer with a monthly student loan payment of $199.27 and car payment of $334 (total expenses including rent are $1602.27).
Turns out that's not enough buffer. I am making rent but only barely, and if I get one more expected hit I'm fucked. My options (as I see them) are to cut and run (which incurs a $2138 fee for breaking my lease), or to find a roommate ASAP.
I just applied for reduced loan payments, but that won't affect the outstanding balance on my account (which won't get paid until March 4). I put up ads on Craigslist and on my local Facebook page hoping to find a roommate.
I need an adult beverage and/or a hug.
My questions are:
If shit hits the fan and I have to break my lease (can't get a roommate and/or can't continue to make rent payments)...what do I do? I don't have $2138 in my account to pay the cancellation fee. And I have nowhere to live.
Any other good ways to get a roommate quickly? | Tried to rent a place, turns out I can't afford it on my own. Find a roommate fast or cut and run? |
t3_3cdyhq | relationships | Is it wrong for me (18M) to feel weird about my gf (18F) going out with her guy friend? (more info inside) | My gf of almost 7 months has ALOT of guy friends and I'm 100% ok with that, she goes out with them from time to time but I honestly don't worry or get jealous or anything because I go out with my female friends often too, we trust each other .
However, this time my gf is going out with one of her friends that she's known since before we started talking. I don't have any qualms with him and they've gone for nights out before, but never romantically. So my gf's friend recently got a few tickets to a city harbour nighttime cruise and instead of inviting his best guy friends he chose to invite her (I only point this out because my girlfriend was surprised by this too).
Is it bad that I feel weird and/or jealous about this, or is this the inner clingy alpha male speaking? Should I talk to my gf about how I feel? If so, how? I feel I should just let it go, but it's been bothering me for the last little while. | Gf is going on a night cruise with guy friend. I'm wondering if my feelings toward this are justified. |
t3_3ndgcs | relationships | He's [37M] into me [34F], but not really... | I've been dating a guy for about a year. We see each other most days, talk every day and spend a lot of time together. I'm the first person he calls when something happens, good or bad - I'm the person he wants to tell his news to. I'm in love and it sounds like he's into me, right? I'm just not sure - this man struggles to tell me he loves me. We rarely have sex and when we do, without being graphic, he doesn't touch me. That said, he wants me in his bed every night.
A friend found his profile on a dating site after we had been together for a while and when I confronted him about this his response was just that he hadn't thought about taking it down. I'm not a sucker and I think that's crap, but I was and still am confused about why he wants to spend so much time with me if he's not happy. I recently read about a concept called the "placeholder". Basically, a girl/guy serves as an understudy in someone's life until they can find their star. | No relationship can be perfectly portrayed in a few lines of text, but I think I may be his placeholder. Questions, comments, thoughts? |
t3_3pk30w | relationships | Me [21F] with my Boyfriend [27M] of 1.5 years, he is dismissive of me and my opinions because of my depression. | Okay, so BF and I have been dating for about a year and a half, we have had our normal ups and downs but this seems to be a recurring issue.
We have always had issues communicating because we come from very different backgrounds- mine an emotional and abusive one, and his a very religious and private one, however we have been working on it and doing much better. However,a few days ago I noticed a pattern; every once in awhile my depression hits a little harder(I have also been diagnosed BPD, but that may have been overzealous doctors) and everyday life becomes that much more unbearable. Whenever I try to talk about my depression and anxiety in social situations he dismisses me claiming he just doesn't understand why I feel this way.
This brings me to yesterday; I was talking to him about the possibility of me looking for a new job because I do not enjoy my current job (which would not be a big deal in and of itself) and I do not "click" with any of my co-workers which leads to me often getting the short end of the straw at work. He was quick to dismiss my reasons and say that I was just whining. To be clear, I would not be taking a pay cut, I would not quit until I had another job lined up, and my job is not even a "real"- it is a near minimum wage kind of deal.
While I can understand his point of view (he tends to keep things to himself and claims to have no mental health issues) I feel he belittled me unfairly and refuses to view any of my arguments as worthy because he has never experienced depression or crippling social anxiety.
So my question is- am I over reacting or does this seem like it could be an actual issue? And secondly, what can I do about it? | I have depression and my boyfriend doesn't think my arguments for my getting a new job hold any credence because of this. |
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