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t3_137vbi | AskReddit | Coworker drops a few hundred at a bar, asks me next day if I could give him some money. Am I right to be a bit taken aback? | A coworker had a 21st birthday and we went to a bar to celebrate. Another coworker ordered a round of shots for everyone, 7 people total. Then 6 more rounds. I bought a few beers with my own cash, but these shots kept showing up. I'd be talking to a friend and all the sudden, another shot appears. He literally bought 50 shots. When everyone was leaving he showed me his bill and I got the impression it was a bit more than he expected, around $300. I drunkenly reached into my pocket and gave him all the cash I had, which was like 8 bucks. Fast forward to today and he asks me if I put my drinks on a separate tab and I told him yes. He then begins to list how much money the other people there gave him and asks me if I would pitch in, to which I said I would, because I felt pretty guilty at that point. Am I being greedy? He did drop a lot of money, but at the same time if he didn't expect to spend so much he shouldn't have ordered 50 shots. | Coworker drops ~300 bucks at a bar ordering rounds of shots without telling or asking anyone, asks me to throw him some money the next day. |
t3_15ehd3 | relationship_advice | [15/m] My girlfriend [15/f] has all but stopped replying to my text messages, is spending lots of time with another guy, talks about him lots and seemingly uninterested in me. | I've talked to all of our mutual friends (that I trust) about what seems to happening. I've come to the same conclusion with all of them; that she either still has feelings for me AND this other guy and can't decide - or - she has completely fallen for him but doesn't want to break up with me for whatever reason. Since our school holidays have begun in the past week with Christmas and the New Year I asked her if she wanted to see a movie with me but she said she had stuff on (presumably she wanted to spend time with other guy [she refers to him as a friend] and was seen with him) I asked her again yesterday via text but she isn't responding even though the text has been read. At first I thought I might just be over reacting, but after consoling friends I do think that something is happening. Should I ask her if something is happening with this other guy? If so, how should I ask? Should I break up with her if she admits to wanting to be with this other guy?
Just some background info: Throughout most of this year she used to constantly message and talk to me on her phone. She stopped texting as much in the last couple of months, but I thought nothing of it because we were always seeing each other in person, usually at school, some weekends as well. In the last week or so she's completely stopped messaging me, and when she does its often about this other guy. (This makes me almost certain she's attracted to him)
If anyone has any advice or ideas, do tell. Sadly, I'm fairly sure we'll end up breaking up, but I don't want to do it without knowing exactly what is going on... | Girlfriend doesn't seem to want to be with me anymore but hasn't broken up with me or said anything about it. |
t3_2izi73 | tifu | TIFU by bringing a whippet to a blues festival | I am dogsitting a whippet/yellow lab mix. All week long, the dog's had to sit at home, inside, and she only gets a little while in the morning and afternoon to run around (I don't have a fenced yard, but I live in the country).
Today, Saturday, I thought she would enjoy going to an outdoor blues festival and so I drove her to the nearby King Biscuit Blues Festival in Arkansas.
Now, whippets are SKINNY dogs. Do a google image search. They're almost freakishly skinny. They're also DOGS.
So, we get to the festival, which is filled with BBQ and other meats, and immediately she begins sniffing the street, smelling all the good smells of meat, nacho cheese, etc. and licking wildly anything and everything that might be edible. At one point, she tries to eat something I think is plastic that has nacho cheese all over it. She also lunches after pork BBQ bones. I drag her away from these things each and every time, because I know her owner doesn't want her eating garbage. Also, I bought her a big bag of good dog food (the kind without grain) that's quite healthy. In fact, when we left for the festival, her damn bowl was full of food.
But no, the minute we get to the festival site, she acts like a starved freak for trash.
SO, numerous times, people come up to me and either flat out tell me that I'm not feeding the dog enough and she's starving or they imply as much ("Look how skinny she is! No wonder she's hungry!")
I am a big time animal lover, and obviously I would never starve an animal, and I feel bad at the suggestion that I would.
I try to tell people that she's a whippet and this is how she looks, but some of these strangers actually try and argue with me and tell me that's she's super skinny. There were so many comments, I ended up leaving (but not before I used my beer tickets). | My friends naturally skinny dog leads people to tell me that I am an animal abuser. I feel bad and leave. After three beers. |
t3_2ezt9a | relationship_advice | [21/M] I really love my girlfriend (21/F) but she's becoming less interested in sex. | Hi.
I'm currently in a great relationship since I've been 18. I don't think a lot of people could have such a serious relationship at this age, but from the first moment we saw each other we were absolutely in love with each other. We started living together when we just turned 19 and we have been for the past two and a half years now. Everything is great, we've discussed marriage, we've discussed children and I'm 99% sure that these two will happen.
The problem I'm experiencing now, with us being so stable, that I've been a virgin before her. She's had other guys (at the least 3, I think) and now we're past the 'crush' phase of our relationship, she's becoming less and less interested in sex. Apart from the curiosity I have towards other girls, she's not fulfilling my needs anymore. I'm way too much of a nice guy to actually ever cheat on her, but I start feeling like this might cause trouble later on.. Right now I just masturbate whenever she's not around in order to stop myself and keep it under control.. What should I do? | Im in a great relationship with a girl I will marry but she's not fulfilling my sexual needs and I'm having curiosity towards other girls. |
t3_ropnl | AskReddit | Reddit, any advice for a 21 year old who is drowning in pain and problems? | I'm a female university student. I'll be 21 by the end of this month..
A little info about me:
-mom got disabled when I was really young, so I was raised by my dad who is a Muslim. (I'm an exmuslim).
- I was molested as a kid
- I have an older brother who is an absolute asshole. Physically and verbally abusive. Has stolen money from me on several occasions.
- when I was 19 I was told I may never be able to have kids.
- earlier this year I got diagnosed with a depression.
- my boyfriend who was amazing, my best friend and my ticket to happiness at last .... Decided to dump me on valentines day after having been with me for 3 years.
- after my Muslim dad found out about my relationship, he got very disappointed. Is threatening to abandon me if I dont marry someone of his choice, ie my cousin from back home.
Honestly, ever since the break up I've been a total mess. I feel like everything has been taken away from me, including my ticket out of this shithole. Before I had my boyfriend so running away from home would have been a whole lot easier. Now I wouldnt know where to go even if I got the courage, money, etc to run away.
Despite everything I love my dad and wouldn't want to just run away as it would kill him. On the other hand, as an exmuslim I can't be with a Muslim guy, and my dad would never accept my apostasy anyway. Am also worried about leaving my disabled mom behind.
Please help me come up with a plan reddit? Not having one is driving me insane. As mentioned I'm a student do dont have a lot of money, but I have started saving the little that I do have. Any advice? How do I move forward, what do I do? Thanks in advance. | I want out of this shithole but I have no one to support me, no money and a disabled mother I don't want to leave behind. Feeling stuck, and see no solution whatsoever. Any ideas? Thanks in advance :) |
t3_11gdia | relationships | What's Wrong With Me (Possible NGS) [17] | Basically I'm in a situation where I put myself out there, I like to consider myself nice, I volunteer at battered womens' shelters and pay what you can restaurants. I was at one point #1 in the country for my age group when it came to BMX and I was a competitive gamer for a while (US top 100 for WoW). I was also a Peer Counselor for 2 years and helped tutor kids as part of this. No hygiene issues, and I've been told time and time again that I'm actually a fairly attractive person. I have friends, and I don't seem to have issues hooking up, but I really want to actually land a girlfriend at this point.
Basically I've only really connected with a girl once, and that was amazing. We dated for about 6 months, but we drifted because we started to have issues seeing each other. We're still great friends and I talk to her about a lot.
I want this to happen again, but the second that relationships start to form girls start to get rather distant. I'll often times wait out of sheer paranoia for them to text me rather than me text them and it'll often times go a couple of days before I decide to text them, and inevitably it ends up in the friend zone, or we just don't really talk anymore. A couple times I've gone on 1-3 dates with them and they just want to be friends, which is understandable as I can't expect every girl to want to flock straight to me, but I'd figure that with at least a few of them I'd see some sort of headway.
Basically I want to know what I could do to possibly fix this. | I can't find a reason why girls don't want to date me. Hooking up isn't an issue, but I want something deeper than that. Anything that I may be able to improve upon? |
t3_2q4cts | relationships | My bf [24m, of 1.5yrs] at random decides I'm [23f] clingy, just because he's looking for alone time. I let him have it. What else can I do? | We will be getting along great and having lots of fun together, and then all of a sudden, probably every few months, he gets all weird and standoffish.
As I've learned over our relationship, I just kind of clam up and wait it out so i don't annoy him. Sometimes it carries on for a while and i decide I'll check on him, as we live together.
Yesterday I asked if i could sit by him because i haven't talked to him much lately, and he said sure but didn't say anything else or make room for me on the couch. Took that as a pretty good indicator that he still wasn't feeling like it and just went to bed.
Today while we ate lunch, he brought up how i was guilting him about nit spending time together but then still went to bed and that he doesn't know i can't handle it when he needs alone time. I asked him what else i was supposed to do, and he said i shouldn't track him around the house. I don't even know what that means.
Reddit, help! | when I give my bf alone time, he thinks I'm not doing it right. What should I be doing? |
t3_54nfwt | relationships | Me [25F] with my bf [26 M] 8 months too dependent on reddit relationships | Matt and I have had a pretty typical boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. We met at a school function, started hanging out, which turned into dating/relationship, etc. We fight occasionally, like any couple, but have a generally healthy relationship. On one hand, I do attribute some of the ease with which Matt and I handle topics like boundaries, family, and arguments to Matt reading and learning from other's issues on this forum.
On the other hand, I sometimes feel like I'm interacting with a relationship robot. I think he's gotten a lot of dating confidence from what he reads here about other's experience, but to me it's just that. *Other's* experience. I read this sub as well. I think it's a fun read and people really give great advice. However, sometimes I feel like he takes a hard stance on conflicts because he will read something here (and I get that impression because he will express sentiments or even use phrases I've read here on certain threads). I can understanding using this sub as a way to develop your ideals on relationships BUT... many of the questions here are specific and give many details about the submitter's particular history/relationship that don't apply to us. I feel like he's reading the advice here and applying big blanket statements without considering OUR history and circumstance. At best I don't feel heard, at worst I sometimes feel like he is ready to throw the relationship away because he's read some commenter's harsh criticism about a situation that may partially apply to us.
I have brought up that I feel like he takes the advice here more seriously than how he may actually be *feeling* about a situation. He acknowledges that it has an influence but insists his stand is his own opinion/conclusion. Ultimately, I'm tired of being up against a world of criticisms about our relationship that don't even typically apply to us.
I guess I'm looking for some advice on how to talk to him about this. Or if this is a red flag that is worth ending things over (maybe he's not really ready for a relationship). | Boyfriend reads a lot of this sub and enforces a lot of boundries/rules/expectations as a result that we may not need. |
t3_2dwmlj | relationships | Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] 8 months, I want a child in the future, she is pretty adamant that she does not...am I wasting my time? Is it too early into relationship to worry about? | My girlfriend and I have been going out for 8 months. Certainly not a long period of time, but enough to have engendered deep feelings for one another. When I'm with her, she makes me a better person and is the most intelligent and funny girl I've personally met.
And now, because of the length we've dated, I'm starting to think of the future and I know for sure that I want to be a father at some point. Not now, not even five years from now, but in the future for sure.
She is pretty adamant about not wanting kids. She's 24 and this is her first ever relationship of any kind. At first, I figured that was a "not right now" but she says that considering where she's at in her career (film production) that she doesn't think she'd be able to sacrifice the things necessary to care about a baby.
I've read plenty of examples and known people who have said similar things but as the years went on loosened their views, eventually decided to have kids and love their children.
Is it too early on for me to be thinking about this? Should I consider getting out now?
Any help is appreciated. Thanks everyone! | At 8 months together, very much in love, but we see future differently -- I want kids, she does not. Am I wasting my time or is it too early on to worry about? |
t3_3lz46o | personalfinance | Advice on child savings accounts for my newborn Son | My wife and I just had our first child and I'm not looking into various vehicles to begin savings for him.
When I was a kid my dad had payroll deduct savings bonds for myself and my siblings and they provided me several $1,000 work of money when I wanted to buy my house years ago. From what I see now savings bonds don't double at maturity anymore but rather earn a variable (now abysmal) rate.
My parents also had a custodial savings account for me and every Christmas and birthday I was allowed to buy something with half of any money I received as gifts and had to put the other in the account.
I bank with Ally and see I can open a custodial account there which I will probably do In order to deposit any newborn or christening gifts we will receive. I'd like to keep this account but look into other vehicles for liquid-ish savings so welcome any suggestions.
I don't have they money right now to regularly contribute to a 529 so figured I'll put that off for a few years until my student loans are paid off. | just had our first child, looking for advice on setting up savings for him in either a savings account or other vehicles. |
t3_smvqi | relationships | What do you do when you meet the perfect person but they are already with someone else? | I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
I'm a 20-something female in college. I met a great guy at the beginning of this (academic) year. We became close pretty quickly and just kind of clicked. He has a good heart, he's intelligent, handsome, and we have the same exact sense of humor. I felt like this could really be something... until I found out 6 months later he's in a long distance relationship.
This was a surprise to me, as he never once mentioned his girlfriend of 3(?) years. She lives far away and they haven't seen each other in months, they also don't really talk very often because they are both so busy.
I'd like to add that we have never crossed a line. He would never cheat on her and I'm not the kind of person who would ever try anything with someone who is taken.
I'm not seeking advice on how to get him to break up with her, what I would like to know is how to deal with my feelings for him. I don't want to cross a line and put anyone's relationship in jeopardy. I have a nasty habit of saying what's on my mind and sometimes it's really hard for me to keep my mouth shut and not tell him how I feel. | Developed strong feelings for a friend of mine who turned out to be taken already. Wondering how to deal with my feelings so that I don't cross any lines and can still maintain this friendship. |
t3_2jukp6 | relationships | I (25f) have finally gone off the deep end about my long distance boyfriend of 6 months (24m). | I have problems with feeling like people will leave me. I've tried hard all my life to keep people out so it doesn't happen. My boyfriend is a loving, caring person. He seems to genuinely love me for me. We've been friends for a long, long time. He's always been that guy who never cheated on his girlfriend or even looked at other women.
However, that doesn't stop the things in my head, telling me that he's cheating on me, he's into other girls, etc, etc... I know he used to use OKCupid (he stopped using it when we weren't quite official yet), so now I check his area sometimes to make sure he hasn't made a "secret" account.
I found one I thought might be him... Wrong height, not at all like his personality, but my brain latched onto it. It was like it was on fire. I thought this was it - he's looking for other girls. I made an account, messaged the account. I got a response. Not the same name, not the same schooling, not the same... anything. The guy was originally from a whole 'nother place, far, far away. I even went so far as to call him... Again, not the same person... And play a game of league of legends with him... Not the same person...
And still in my mind I have doubts. What's wrong with me? I've told him my worries and he's done all he can to calm my mind... But I just don't know. I hate myself. What do I do?
Note: I see a councilor in early November. | I went so far as to talk to a random person thinking it was my boyfriend on a dating website and I don't know what to do to stop myself from feeling like this. |
t3_k6qhs | AskReddit | I wanted to treat my co-workers to a round at the bar this weekend... | I'm creating this thread due to a 5 minute friendly debate I just had with my co-workers. This isn't a serious fight or anything, just an interesting situation.
Last week our Marketing Department hosted a golf event which turned out really great. I was really surprised how well it turned out and kept telling them what a great job they did. We're a pretty small company and there are only 3 people in our Marketing Department. I used to be in Marketing before being re-located elsewhere in the company.
I told them I wanted to treat them to a round of drinks at the bar for doing a great job. Jump ahead to Thursday night at the bar. I show up a little late after drinking earlier in the night and they are there a few drinks in already. Once I arrive, I quickly order a round of drinks for everyone. We continue drinking and having a good time.
Apparently before I showed up, there had been an older guy who kept coming over (to flirt with our young co-worker) and was joking around and kept talking about picking up their tab. Of course he was drunk so they didn't think twice of it.
Scotch, Jager bombs, beer, and a whole lot of fun later we decide to cash in our tab. As it turns out, the creepy guys actually HAD been covering their tab until I showed up. And actually, he continued covering the entire table's tab (including my tab) for another few rounds until he realized how much alcohol I was putting away.
So, as a result, the Round I bought my co-workers was picked up by another guy who grabbed the entire tab.
Today in the office we just debated this occurrence. I argue that because I had no prior knowledge of this man while ordering the round and even until after it had been drank, that my round still counts. They argue (naturally), the because he picked up the tab, I still owe them one since I offered earlier.
What do you think, Reddit? | I offered to buy co-workers a round at the bar. When we go to cash out, it turns out someone else in the bar picked up the entire tab. Does my "buying of a round" still count? |
t3_33je4f | relationship_advice | Boyfriend [27m] and I [25/f] have different approaches to parenting. What should I do? | My boyfriend [27//m] and I [25/f] just brought up parenting discussion today somehow (we don't have kids yet!)
Anyway, so I told my boyfriend I would love to encourage our children to get into STEM fields (I am in one myself) by introducing them to computers, science, math, etc.. at a young age. I also said it would be cool to have them try sports,music, art, reading, etc...
My bf said I'm too forceful and have high expectations for our future kids by introducing them to STEM! Also, I learned that my bf has a hard time trusting my "parenting strategy" and he says I'm kind of like a overbearing parent and that I should let the kid choose, etc...
I'm definitely okay with letting the kid choose but how will the kid know when they're age 2 or 4 if they like science? I like obligated as a parent to introduce them to fields they never knew about.
My bf still thinks I have an "agenda" and that I will be disappointed if they don't get into science, etc..
We fought over parenting with our hypothetical children and it makes me sad because he doesn't trust me as a parent. He only believes what he thinks parenting is which is right.
This makes me so sad and this means a lot to me. I want to be able to introduce my future children to science at an early age and if they don't like it, that's fine too. I just want my kids to know that they were given the opportunity. What should I do?
We've been together for over 3 years. | Boyfriend [27m] and I [25/f] have different approaches to parenting. He's more laid back and thinks the kid should decide initially before we introduce the kid(s) to anything. What should I do? |
t3_1qutju | relationships | Did I [22f] cheat on my [24M] boyfriend? | I started dating my boyfriend about three weeks ago. Before we got together, I had planned a trip out of state with a male friend [28M] I've known for 9 years. We had planned to have sex that night, but when I started dating my boyfriend I called off that plan and my male friend was understanding.
I was upfront about this to my boyfriend (except the part where we had planned to sleep together, because that part didn't seem relevant). He said he was okay with us sharing a bed as long as we didn't have sex. He says he's not a jealous person, but I could tell he was a little uneasy about the situation. Still, these plans were made before we started dating, so I didn't feel like I had to compromise them for him.
Fast forward to this weekend, my male friend and I did stay at a hotel together. He slept shirtless with boxers on, and I slept in my pajamas. The thing is, we cuddled all night. It was a small bed so we kind of had to. At some point, he grabbed my boobs (I also wasn't wearing a bra, but I never do when I sleep) and I pushed his hands off.
In the morning, we got dressed in front of each other and he grabbed me and pushed me on the bed. Then got on top of me and said something along the lines of "I want to fuck you so badly right now." And I told him that I was sorry we couldn't.
After that, things were normal. We held hands walking around and generally acted like a couple, but never kissed or did anything sexual in nature. We did talk a lot about sex and our fetishes and things like that, but to me it felt platonic. I have no feelings for my friend, other than my love for him as a friend and brother.
Did I do anything wrong? Were any lines crossed? Is it cheating if we didn't actually do anything sexual, and also if I don't have romantic feelings for my friend? | Spent weekend with an old male friend, acted like lovers but don't actual feel anything for him. Not sure if it counts as cheating.. |
t3_36z90o | relationships | My [25f] mother [56f] is a hypochondriac | My mother has been into homeopathic medicine since I was a small child. I have gone to her "doctors" and none of it did any good.
She goes to the chiropractor 1 - 2 times a week. She has her neck and jaw adjusted, claiming they are always going out of whack from a car accident she was in 20 years ago.
She goes to the naturopath at least once a week. He muscle tests her and prescribes a vast variety of supplements. They are not cheap and neither is the office visit.
She goes to see her Lyme disease specialist 2 times a month. He's the same as the naturopath but he does crystal work as well.
My mother is mentally ill. She does not have Lyme disease. She recently made my dad leave work to take her to the doctor because her blood sugar was out of whack. She had been having a variety of stomach a few days prior to that.
I know these recent health issues are stress related. My brother is moving it if town for 5 years to pursue his PhD, and my dad may have to start work on a project in a different state.
I feel like she is poisoning her body with supplements. I have encouraged her to change her diet vs taking a ton of pills. My two younger brothers and I have discussed having an intervention for her.
I want to help her get well, and be the mom I know she can be. This mental illness is tearing us apart. She spends thousands of dollars a month on these treatments. How can I help her understand this behavior isn't good for her? | mom goes to the doctor every week. Takes tons of pills, spends thousands. Is mentally ill. Health issues are stress related. |
t3_1tdfq0 | relationships | Me [20F], (drunkenly) hooked up with the guy I was into? [19M] | Update from [this post.] I'd recommend reading it.
---
**
SO, first things first: my best friend is no longer into the same guy I'm into. She started dating someone else.
Anyway, back to the situation. So the guy I was into from the last post, I got over him for awhile because my best friend (and another friend, who he was *talking* to and also drunkenly made out with at a party once... anyway) was into him so I decided to back off for awhile. I only recently got back into him aka *liking* him, whatever you wanna call it.
ANYWAY, back to the story at hand. Basically one night we were playing games/drinking with a group of friends, and I ended up talking to him all night. Then we went back to his place and hooked up, we were both drunk. The next morning before I had to leave, we did stuff *again* but sober.
We never really text, or hang out as much as I want. But whenever we do hang out, it's always for a reaaallly long time and it's fun/hilarious/kinda flirty and I feel like I can be myself around him? Yeah. And I don't know what to do from here.
Our uni just had winter break, so I'm not gonna see him for awhile. We text on and off... but basically I don't know where to take it from here. Is he into me or is this just another one of my drunken escapades that *of course*, doesn't work out in the end. Something similar like this happened last year, and didn't work out.
Sorry for the wall of text... I just have a lot of words hah. | Drunkenly hooked up with the guy I was into, don't know if he's into me/what do to next!? Send help. |
t3_10jxoo | AskReddit | ents; a raccoon has my trees | Hi so my girlfriend threw my bag of trees away to make a point, she wasn't completely serious (I had a bowl loaded at the time). I got to a [4] or so and forgot to grab it out as I was taking out of the trash a couple hours later. It's now in a dumpster outside her apartment complex. An hour later I remembered I forgot it in the trash bag and went out to get it. So there's a sleeping raccoon in the dumpster where I put the trash bag. I woke it up and kicked the dumpster but it didn't leave. Girlfriend brought out a squirt bottle and baseball bat. I squirted the coon and nudged it with the bat to try and convince to get out. It refused again.
Is there a chance it can't get out of the dumpster because it is not tall enough, there are 2 bags in the dumpster, what can I do to get him out and get my trees (other than wait until morning)? | I threw my trash away with a bag of trees in it. A raccoon is now in the dumpster and won't leave. Should I just wait until morning? |
t3_4skrbl | relationships | Me [20M/] with my friend[18/F] of 3 months,have started dating and I just found out shes fighting with her friend because her friend has a crush on me. | 3 months ago I took interest in my female friend, we'd been planning to go out for a while and it happened last week, we went to a party and we got off, got to a new "stage" and overall I think we both enjoyed it. Yesterday one of our friends told me the girl invited some of them to drink and i jokingly answered "well if I didn't get an invite I ought to go out with my other friends", to which my friend admitted that the girl told her that the night we went out she got into a heated argument with one of her friends because she has a thing for me, so now I fear the girl I like is wondering how to approach me about this, because I'm not meant to know this and I have no clue who the hell else is interested into me besides her, and I don't understand why her friend is being such a child, I didn't "choose", nobody but the girl I'm seeing has shown interest in me so it makes sense that I'd want to pursue her. We're supposed to meet this weekend but I fear she's gonna be avoiding me at which point I'll ask her what's up to get her to admit that she's fighting with her friend over me. | girl im seeing got into a heated argument with another friend because she likes me and thus "broke a code" by going out with me. I'm not supposed to know this yet. |
t3_1e50hm | relationships | I'm [m18] wondering how to help my friend+ [f18] feel extra loved. | Not sure if this is the correct place to post, but here we go.
I'm really good friends with this girl (i'm a male), we talk every day for hours (either through text, facebook, skype, or phone calls) and we're both pretty into each other, but that's not the point.
Last night, our conversation took a really heavy turn, where she told me about her family problems. She told me incredibly personal details, which has happened before, but she started saying things that I wasn't sure how to handle. She confided in me that she thought she was the reason her parents got divorced, that she was responsible for her dad being alcoholic, and a shit ton of other stuff.
I told her that no matter what, she has to believe that she isn't the cause of their problems, and that even if her physical family isn't always wonderful, she has a lot of people that care for her very deeply.
I'm wondering how to proceed with this. We both know almost everything there is to know about each other, and I knew that she had a tough situation at home. I didn't know that she blamed herself, and I want to do everything in my power to make her feel like she's loved.
Unfortunately, we live four hours from each other, so physical contact isn't an option. I've mailed her things before (from inside jokes, she didn't buy flowers for her mom on valentines day, I had them sent to her. She lost her favorite pencil, I bought her a new one. Stuff like that), so that's always an option.
Thank you very much for the help in advance. I want to make her feel cared for, and to express how deeply I want her to be happy. I'm not sure if she romantically likes me, but at this point I don't care, I just want her to be happy | my very serious friend/more than a friend of years is going through a very hard time at home, and I'm not sure how to help her through it, as I'm four hours away |
t3_2klo36 | Advice | I'm worried about my reading week. | I recently started university and have made some great friends already. I also know I'm definitely on the right course for me and I'm thoroughly enjoying myself and the last few weeks have been excellent. I find myself easily getting up out of my cosy warm bed at ~7am each morning to go into uni and study my favourite subject with some pretty amazing people.
I have a reading week in 2 weeks time though and I'm worried about what I'm going to do during this week? I live near the university so all of my friends from uni will have gone home for the week and my friends from highschool will still be away at their universities (as they have reading week at a different time).
It might seem like a small problem to some and it could just be the mood that I'm in, but I'm very much not looking forward to a week of sitting in the house by myself.
A couple of years ago I'd have cherished what is essentially a week off and I'd have spent it indoors playing video games but now all I wanna do is hang out with my friends (even if we are just revising). | Going to be fairly lonely for a week with not much to do. Dark, rainy, windy winter weather isn't helping. |
t3_1hodcr | college | Struggling to get back into college after some rough years | I attended an expensive private college after graduating high school, but after the fall semester my father was diagnosed with lung cancer and my school performance faltered. By spring semester, I stopped attending school completely to help take care of my family.
I dropped out after and started attending a community college. I did well in the beginning, but my father's condition got worse and my parents filed for divorce and I ultimately stopped going to classes to once again take care of my family.
My father's dying wish was to spend a few months in Vietnam and I accompanied him on the trip and then after I returned to Boston I applied as a non-degree student at a state school.
I was doing fine until my father passed away a month before finals and I sank into depression and retreated from the world - socially, emotionally, academically.
Now, I really want to get back into school and finish my degree in Psychology (hopefully get a PhD) but I'm not sure which steps to take. Should I continue to be a non-degree student and try to get my grades up or should I forget about it and apply as a freshman all over again since only like 9 credits have good enough grades to get transferred over? My transcripts and GPA are pretty shitty overall, but I have huge confidence in my academic performance, it's just that these past few years have been really crappy. | Got shitty grades in 3 different schools because family problems, now I want to get back into school, but not sure how |
t3_1dx2pv | relationships | Serial Cheater / Perennial Fuckhead (22m) | I'm 22m, she is 20f. Dating for 8 months, ish. Last weekend I cheated on my girlfriend. I was blacked out drunk (so much so that I missed a plane the next day). No sex, but it's about the promise breaking, not the act itself. Here's the catch(es).
1. It isn't the first time this has happened. I thought I was over this. I don't know what causes it (besides being shitfaced) and I don't know how to stop it (besides never touching alcohol again. Haven't since it happened. Might be the move here folks.) I know it'll be easy to throw harsh words at me. Feel free. But if there is anyone out there who has felt like a hostage of their own stupidity when drunk and learned to wrangle with that, how, how, tell me how.
2. I love this girl. I feel like she's the first person in my life who has ever truly respected me, who thought I was cool. We mesh on just every single level there ever was, and I really enjoy it. We have a storybook romance that started overseas and I don't want it to end with me disappointing her.
Here is where I want some outside input. I'm not telling anyone in my real life this time. I want to hear though. Am I a really bad person? Am I obligated to tell my girlfriend? If I don't and she ends up moving to live with me across the country, should I break it to her before then? Something in me feels like a capitan needs to fuckin sink with his ship. Telling her would provide me my moral vindication at the expense of her self worth and happiness. Of course, maybe these are only things I've convinced myself of in order to make the cowardly choice of not telling.
How do I stop? What is the right thing to do? Please help. | How can I make myself stop cheating? Am I obligated to tell the girl I cheated on / break up with her? |
t3_31ktw4 | relationships | [28/M] I "supposedly" hit on a girl, complimented her ass, and exchanged numbers with her while I was drunk on St. Patty's, out with my [29/F] GF and friends. | Not too long ago, I received a text from a girl named Kim, who claimed that I was hitting on her, complimented a hat she was wearing, told her she had a nice ass, and exchanged phone numbers with her. She knew my name and details about me, but I cannot for the life of me (honestly) recall the entire exchange, what she looks like, or anything. I told her, through text, MULTIPLE times in fact, that I had a SO who I loved and was happy with. She continued to text me but I ignored her, so she stopped.
One day, I randomly decided to text her. (Of course this was during a period of time when me and my GF were in a "fight" and hadn't seen each other in a few weeks, but still talked.) Just small talk. Nothing sexual, no pic requests, total BS. Eventually i did mention to her, without going into detail, that my GF was mad at me. I guess I was just frustrated and wanted to talk about it, maybe get some insight from a stranger. Idk. It was stupid of me.
Then, as my luck would have it, my GF was at a concert with some friends a few days ago, and from what she tells me, one of the people there told her that I was talking to this girl, Kim. I have no idea what exactly was said, but she is pretty pissed and I think she's done with me but I don't know. I have tried to explain, but in the end I know I messed up by sending that second message, and if I was talking to this girl, that was a huge mistake as well. I have never cheated on an SO, but have been cheated on and left for other men. I know how much it hurts and I feel so terrible that I may have done this to my girlfriend. I haven't talked to her since last night, I'm trying to give her some time and space. I really don't wanna lose her. | I may, or may not have, essentially cheated on my GF of 7 months. I can't remember the conversation with the other girl, and I wasn't even that drunk. Any advice is appreciated. |
t3_2n3ng9 | tifu | TIFU, creating the elephant. | This happened last night. I'd consider myself pretty average or normal.. Unfortunately I live with my mother and I thought I knew her schedule. Well , She had quit smoking for a long time. but picked them back up the last day or 2. Fortunately she chooses to smoke outside, well maybe not so fortunate...
After I checked on my mother I went downstairs and had the tv on. Usually at 2am in the morning, i have no worries about mom coming down the stairs. she's sleeping anyway. so I went about my business ... with me time. I'll have to inform you that I cant hear for shit. The steps are the kind that are 'floating' so you can see clearly through them, and it leads to the front door. But I wasn't paying any particular attention to them because I wasn't expecting my mother to come down. Which appearently happened. and walked outside for her smoke.
I did not realize it though. I thought i heard the door. Looked. Then thought nothing of it, thinking I'm hearing things. Tinnitus is fucked up that way, cause I'm always hearing sounds in my head. So I went back to my business. I was getting pretty heated , spread out like a starfish on the couch and happened to see my mother at the TOP of the steps going UP. and poor willy died right then and there. | Mom probably watched me at least a full 15 seconds masturbating without my notice. as she walked upstairs and now there's a huge fucking elephant in the room. |
t3_1aalue | AskReddit | Gentlemen, have you ever been intimidated by your SO's father a la Bad Boys 2? | My ex's dad (he's a cop) called me one day to say that she wanted him to call and invite me for dinner as she was in the shower. I arrive and he opens the door to let me in. "Have a seat." She's still in the shower at this point. I go over to the couch and he takes a chair and sits directly across from me, maybe a foot away. Says nothing for a minute.
"You two seem to be hitting it off very well," he says.
"Yeah, I would say so."
"When did you last speak to my daughter?"
Heart pounding "The other day."
"Did she tell you she was pregnant?"
I froze. I may have farted (nervous habit)
He snaps his finger "Your life can change just that quickly. Don't. Touch. My daughter."
She comes out of the shower "Hey daddy," looks over and sees me "Oh hey, I was going to call to see if you wanted to hang out tonight."
Her dad chimes in "I'm making crab legs, you're more than welcome to eat with us."
I had dinner with my heart in my throat that night.
After dinner, he had to go to work or something like that. My ex and I got cozy to watch a movie, which happened to be in her dad's room. We banged on his bed. | Ex's dad called me out on banging his daughter after setting up a rouse to get me alone. Then she and I did it on his bed after he left for work. |
t3_yll2f | AskReddit | My cat managed to catch a baby mouse, but I saved it before it was killed. I put it back, together with his mouse sibling, in what I think was their underground construction. May I have done something wrong? | I need mouse experts now. Backstory: My three cats were in the garden when something caught their interest. Before I could see what they were doing, the youngest caught a mouse. First I thought it was a spider, but then I could see a little mouse head sticking out of his mouth. He immediately brought it to the next carpet and placed it on the ground. I then first saw it was very young, its eyes hardly open, but with fur already. I carefully took it away from him (he managed to hit it once again because he`s a dick sometimes) and then placed it in the bed where he found it. I brought all cats back in to see if the mouse was hurt. It didn't really move for about 45 minutes. I found another baby mouse quite close to him during that time and put them close together. They quickly got close to each other and fell asleep under a leaf. After a little internet research I took both of them and dropped them in a 6 inch deep vertical hole which assume was their underground construction. I couldn't see them well, but I think they walked into a small tunnel.
The mice [looked similar to this] They were probably of [this kind] I assumed the entrance of their tunnel was the right one, and not just a vertical hole, after seeing [this picture](
One was carried away, but saved [from this guy](
So, may I have done some mistakes, for example touching the mice? If they are in their tunnel now, will they get "picked up" by their mouse parents, or could it be that they do not accept them anymore? No adult mice showed up as long as they were outside. Why could it be that baby mice are outside their tunnel? | cat caught mouse, two mice are saved, I'm not sure wether I "saved" them correctly, are they safe? |
t3_3sqt2n | loseit | Today I realized I need to Lost weight | Longtime lurker, and this is a new account but here's how I realized how I needed to start losing:
Today I am 17 years old, 6 foot and 214 pounds. Up until now, I have always known that I was fat but since I exercised everyday I didn't think too much about it. I felt like I was "fit" but had extra fat because I loved to eat, I could run as fast as any other healthy person so I always felt like I was born fat and would stay fat. All throughout high school I was made fun of for being fat but since I could hold my own in PE, was never the slowest or the weakest I felt fine. Obviously I wanted to look good, I mean who doesn't want a six pack but I always quit my diets because I felt that they didn't work. I kept this same mindset for 3-4 years of my life and always just felt chubby/fat. This logic stuck with me throughout my life, because I exercised I was healthy. I knew I was heavier than everyone else but always thought of myself as only a bit overweight.
This logic probably would have stayed with me my entire life but, yesterday I went to a fitness center and for the first time in a long time I weighed myself and had my body fat percentage tested. I found that my body fat percentage was 32.5%, obesity is classified as 25% body fat, I was 7% over the minimum of what is obese. I always thought of myself as fat but never obese, obese was just this image of fat people on scooters in walmart, I never thought it could be me. That was the wake up call I needed and realized just how much I needed to lose weight. So I guess this is my Day 1, I now realized just how overweight I am and now I want to start losing weight with you guys as well. | Always thought I was healthy, body fat percentage states I ma obese and is the wake up call I needed to start losing weight. |
t3_2eljt0 | relationships | I (25M) am starting to worry about my (24F) wive, who seems to have no sexual drive anymore. | I'll keep this short as possible, Me and lets say "Jill" have been together for quite some time, on and off a few years here and there(two years here, three years there etc...). We got back together two years ago, and we decided we don't wanna split up anymore. When we first got back together we had sex everyday (except her time of the month). No matter what we did it always got turned into sex. No complaints here.
Fast forward a little bit, We both mention that we both want more of a commitment from each other. Then we find out that she is pregnant, which at this point we were already engaged. We decided to get married. During the engagement and her being pregnant we had zero sex. Which i understand because i know the change in hormones can really affect a woman's libido. Closer to when the baby is due, there is nothing involving sexual encounters (making-out,fooling around etc...)
Fast forward to now, our son is born and she has healed completely (Her O.B.G.Y.N has said so even though she had to get stitches)
Our son is almost 3 months old, and we have not had any sex in any forms. The biggest issue for me is that, while i understand that her libido has changed because of giving birth and everything but and this i cannot stress enough, WE HAVE NOT HAD SEX EVEN ONCE SINCE SHE OFFICIALLY BECAME MY WIVE.
Last bit:Tonight we almost had sex, but she was worried about our son, whom was in a deep sleep in the other room in his crib and talking about him for extended amount time killed the moment. I at first shrugged this off, but then she asked if i was going to cheat on her (insert bad experiences here about woman asking this question). I of course told her no, which is the truth. But now i'm starting to worry....(twice bitten always shy) Any ideas on this matter? I'd really love married people's thoughts and opinions on this matter, but i appreciate everyone's thought on it. | Wive seems to have no sex drive before,during and after pregnancy. She brought up a bad question about faithfulness. I'm really starting to worry. |
t3_1ztw9q | relationships | Me [29F] with my boyfriend [31 M] for 6 years. 5 weeks since break up. Yesterday I was OK today not so much. | Hi everyone.
I was with my boyfriend for 6 years we lived together and he broke things off telling me he doesn't love me anymore. he also said some really mean things as well when there was no need. also his actions were telling me its over and he didn't care for me any longer.
Yesterday was an OK day and I felt strong enough. Today however has been such a bad day. I haven't stopped crying and really miss him even though I know he doesn't miss me. I really want to speak with him but have started the NC rule.
My friends have been really great and I have a great support network but I can't stop thinking about him or missing him.
I just wanted ask other people who have been in long term relationship and broke up. How did you get through? Will I be able to get through this pain I feel? What if I get stuck like this? I can't believe he doesn't love me its so hard when I still love him.
Any encouraging stories or words would be really appreciated.
Thank you | 6 year relationship after 5 weeks breakup finding it really hard. Can anyone help? Wont if I don't get through this and stay stuck? |
t3_36dx6u | tifu | TIFU by literally chasing a girl away | So, this happened almost 2 years ago (will be 2 offically in around July) when I was out with a couple of my buddies one day (we'll call them A and B). The three of us were out when A wanted to stop in his place and pick something up. He lives in an apartment building, and said he wouldn't be long so B and I waited outside the lobby, at the entrance. We both noticed not too far away in the parking lot area was a girl, our age playing with what turned out to be her little cousin. The both of us thought nothing of it, but she kept looking toward our direction.
It turned out that A who went to get something was taking a lil longer than expected, so the two of us were outside just loitering when B says he's gonna go sit down. At this point, i'm waiting right by the door for A and he's sitting on a ledge near where the girl was, not extremely near, but he was closer to her than I was. Still outside, I turn around and see her approach him and sit beside him, no big deal, kept on waiting. After about 5-10 minutes I got bored and decided i'd go join the conversation. Now here is the FU, it turned out B was wearing a tacky kind of t-shirt that said "That what she said" on it and as I approached the both of them, trying to break the ice I read out his shirt and gave a little snicker. Right after that, she gave me a dirty look and no joke, walked away and went to where she was before. Neither me or B could believe it, in fact we were both hysterical about it for the rest of the day. A few minutes later A who went to grab something came out and we were all ready to go, I asked him if he knew who that girl was and it turns out she's his next door neighbour, oops. | Was out with a friend, he got approached by a girl, I tryed to join the convo and ended up making myself look like a jackass |
t3_uv1q7 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, tell me about a time where you've experienced something completely fucking wonderful in the worst circumstances | When I was 18, I was in Paris when I received a phone call to tell me that my mum had suffered a major Brain haemorrhage and that I needed to come home to say my goodbyes.
Fast Forward a few hours and I was in the hospital and there my mum was, hooked up to all sorts of machines, I wanted five minutes to say my goodbyes and to tell her how much I loved her, but then I figured if I was in hospital and my subconscious was still there I think I'd want to know what was going on, so I told her, I told her what was happening to her and why she wasn't able to wake up, I told her how many people were here for her and how much everyone loved her, she couldn't consciously react of course, but while I was telling her these things her heart rate raised rapidly, I kept talking to her and telling her how brave she was and how she was the best person I ever knew and her heart rate was still going seriously fast.
I told my family this and they told me this is the first time this had happened since she fell ill, I don't know but I like to think it was her, trying her hardest to fight and just let me know she was there, she was fighting her fucking heart out to do it and while that day will always go down as the absolute worst day of my life, that moment I had with my mum will always live with me and serve as a reminder of how brave she was.
I never got to say goodbye to her properly and I miss her every day, life has been pretty shitty since, but that one moment always reminds me things can sometimes be ok in the worst times. | mum was in hospital after brain haemorrhage, she was dying, i spoke to her and her heart seemingly reacted. |
t3_1ef9v2 | relationships | [23M] Dated a beautiful girl and now I'm going insane | So I went out with a girl, arranged by a mutual friend. She is way above my level (I'm more of "hes not bad" "hes cute" "I guess some girls might like him" type of a guy), she came out mostly because she is into my ethnicity. We really just talked for 10 hours over 4 venues and we talked about so much. Literally no awkward silences, and we still have fuckton left to talk about. After we went home we've just been texting non-stop.
Now my mind is thinking, this shit can't be right. Shes traveled all around the world, did modeling, partied at VIP sections with celebrities. I'm... an okay guy, recent grad from reputable university with a finance degree and have been in job search for 2 weeks, but I have no charisma or alpha instinct or an ability to attract girls. This has to be some sort of elaborate prank? Like, a new YouTube channel that sets up models with average Joes and secretly films their date. I'm going crazy. We have number of mutual friends, they will laugh when they see me! Or maybe she is a famous crazy girl that people haven't warned me about. Possibly AIDS or a TV? Maybe she aint messin' with no broke nigga?
I don't know if this just happens to me or to anyone else, but its driving me nuts. How can this happen!? Any words of advice? | Went out on date with a really pretty girl and now I keep thinking that shes setting me up or something is wrong with her |
t3_1mofov | Cooking | Want to pull pork/chicken/beef quicker? Use a stand mixer!! | I just discovered this today, looks cool. I'm currently cooking some pork shoulders for pulled pork and I am definitely going to give this a whirl.
I saw another video where a guy used his bread hook.. It seemed to give it more of a pulled consistency.
Anyone have experience doing this? | After using two different types of stand mixers, I reccomend using a kitchen aid (or similar) with either the bread hook or paddle. |
t3_4ghtfz | relationships | Me [24 M] with friend [21 F] a couple of months, she's in a "open relationship" but lies to her boyfriend about me | I've been having sex and maintaining a close-to-a-relationship lifestyle with a girl that happens to have a boyfriend.
She claims that she has a open relationship but she lies to her boyfriend about me (he suspects it, a lot).
We have become closer and closer everyday and we would most likely dating if she wasn't on a relationship.
The thing is, why is she doing this? She actually likes me in a deeper way than just plain sex.
We live +/- 125 miles apart but we scheduled a whole week to visit me in a month and two weeks in the summer (plus a couple of trips by me for just the weekends).
Is this normal? | She has a boyfriend and she's having sex with me. She says she's in a open relationship but lies to her boyfriend about me. What the hell is going on? |
t3_27zh8h | relationships | I [18 M] am pretty sure my girlfriend [18 F] of 3 months is messing around with my friend. | So im pretty into this girl and she seems to likes me back, its not super serious right now But I'm pretty sure she is doing something behind my back with my friend who is also in a relationship.
My friend (lets call him rick) has been trying to get with my gf (lets call her nancy) since before I was even dating nancy. Asking for nudes and trying to get something to happen, he's been in a pretty serious relationship with this other girl for over a year though.
Recently they were talking about hanging out alone. Fast forward a few days and nancy has been posting things on something she doesn't know I know about a that pretty much say "I have a secret and I'm flirting with this guy."
I really don't know how to tackle this. I want to speak with nancy face to face about it but that might take a few days and this is really bothering me. I also don't really know how to tackle the conversation once I get to that point. I would love for it to work out but I feel like this might destroy a lot of friendships. | pretty sure my gf and friend either have or plan to mess around behind the backs of both me and my friends gf. I don't wanna mess everything up but i can't just sit here and do nothing. |
t3_1nskk9 | legaladvice | Need Advice on Home Selling & bad neighbors | Alright so we are trying to sell a house but we have had issues with the neighbors for about 5 years now. They recently put up a sign on their property indicating to anybody who comes to see the house that this house has violations on it. These violations are true but are a mistake by the city that we are currently trying to fix. We were wondering if there is anything we can do because we feel that this may hinder the sale of our home and we are desperately trying to leave.
Any other information can be given upon request if needed. | Trying to sell home, Neighbors attempt to stop us by posting a sign saying we have violations on our home (Violations that were caused by the city). |
t3_50nth1 | relationships | Me [28 F] with my ex [26 M], dated 9 months, he won't stop guilting me about the breakup | I will keep this brief- my ex was controlling and at times, emotionally abusive. I still have a lot of love for him, but I knew I had to love myself enough to leave.
He keeps sending me sad text messages asking how I could "pretend to care about him and then just dump him out of the blue." This did not feel out of the blue to me. We had been struggling for a long time.
Still, I care about him, and his texts make me so, so sad. I have muted text messages from him and have so far been not replying, but it's tearing me up. Even though I instigated the break up, break ups are hard for everyone, and I deserve time to heal. His texts are making it really hard for me.
What should I do? Thank you for reading. | Controlling and abusive ex keeps sending me texts asking why things didn't work out and accusing me of being a sadist, liar, and fake. What do? |
t3_2m10ff | relationships | Me [22m] am stuck between a rock and a hard place with a [23f]... | Ok so there is a girl I'm interested in that I've been seeing for the past 2 months. Everything was going good up until one night we were hanging out so she said she was getting close to her monthly friend and told me beforehand that she was moody. We still proceeded to the date but things were just awkward because she was very distant. Of course everybody has an off day so I went with the flow.
Fast forward a week of her being distant and aloof over text until I ask her what's up. It wasn't until I asked her what was wrong that she goes on to tell me something along the lines of "I'm not sure what I want right now, I'm sorry if I hurt you"...Of course I was hurt because two months of emotional investment and I feel like it was all for nothing. Of course I didn't tell her that.
Fast forward two weeks and we haven't hung out but still text everyday with "good mornings" , "good nights" and "how was your days" and of course all the convo that goes with it. I recently told her I missed her and she felt the same back.
My problem is that I feel like if we're not going anywhere then why are we still having small conversations like this. Am I holding on to false hope after she says she doesn't know what she wants or should I be walking away from it all cold turkey? | Boy likes girl.Girl likes boy.Girl not sure what she wants. Boy heartbroken. Boy doesn't know what to do. |
t3_4m3rqq | tifu | TIFU By choking on a bite of a rueben | This actually happened to me today at my lunch hour. I was enjoying a Reuben when a coworker came out of nowhere like that guy in mortal kombat that goes "TOASTY". I was in mid bite when she appeared, and started asking a question about a ticket that we're working on. Now this rueben did not have thinly sliced corned beef like most reuben. The bite I took in my mouth had a piece of corned beef about the size of a deck of cards. This includes the thickness. As she's asking the question I'm thinking "I should swallow and answer". So I try to swallow, and it gets stuck. So I try and bring it up myself to chew some more, nope. The bite I took is all like "Fuck you". I then took a swig of my Mountain Dew in hopes to wash it down. Instead, it all fell out of my mouth onto my plate. I then get up and do that universal sign of "help I'm choking" to which she goes "oh my god are you choking?!" All I could do is nod my head. She didn't hesitate. She gets behind me and performs the Heimlich like a pro. The chunk flies out, hits the ground in this nasty soppy mess, and I start gasping for air.
I then proceed to answer her question.
Moral of the story, please learn the heimlich. You can save someone's life! | almost choked to death on a bite of a reuben sandwich, got the heimlich and it saved my life. |
t3_y2mag | relationships | I'm 16, he's 15, I'm worried that I run to him too much? | So, since I acquired a boyfriend four months ago, all of my friends have pretty much walked out on me. There's been a few who have stayed, my best friend being one of them.
Well, now my best friend, she's 17, has walked out on me. (On a side note, I've always had people who left me, nobody ever really remained my friend for more than a year or two) I immediately called up my boyfriend, who was on his way to his friend's birthday party, and, in anger, told him all about the argument.
He simply said, "I understand babe, just let it cool down, I have to go now, I just arrived at the party and my friend is standing outside."
Anyway, I'm worried that I run to my boyfriend too much with my problems. I'm afraid he'll start thinking, "Oh God, what is her issue now?" He's really my only friend left, and I'm worried about pushing him away too much. I barely talk to my friends anymore, and when I do it's usually just a "Hey, how ya been" conversation. Should I keep my problems more to myself?
He's 15, I'm 16, he's four months younger than I am. He's obviously a boy, and I'm a girl. We've been dating for a little over four months. | I have issues, I fear I turn to my boyfriend too much to listen to my problems, what should I do so that I don't sound like a whiny bitch? |
t3_cx1hz | AskReddit | Where in the world are the biracial cake-toppers? | I'm getting married, and I'd like to put a bride and groom on top of my cake. This wouldn't be a problem except I'm half white and half black (so I look about hispanic) and my bride-to-be is white.
I've searched high and low and found pretty decent ones for white gays, white lesbians, black people (very dark) marrying whites, white people, white people with their butts hanging out, white people on motorcycles, black people, Indians (from India), and white people who don't particularly want to get married (which actually seems to be a dominating force in the market). There are people who do custom cake toppers, but as far as I can tell that's in the neighborhood of $4000 (yikes). Surely someone's been in a similar situation before.
Should I give up and put a giant letter on top of my cake or something "artistic"? | Seeking Mulatto man & White woman cake topper (preferably in the under $150 area), or other general cool cake topper ideas (like a black chess king and white chess queen or something). |
t3_t9p2d | AskReddit | Can anyone with the right experience help with my girlfriend's university problem? | I should note this is in the UK, more specifically Scotland.
My girlfriend recently got rejected for all her applications for university (psychology) except the one she doesn't really want to do, social work.
We emailed the two universities that had rejected her asking the reason why, and what she could do to gain entry, since it's what she really wanted.
Only one replied, bluntly stating her grades weren't good enough, and her college award didn't count towards the course.
I suggested taking the social work course and seeing if she could apply for an internal transfer to the psychology course after completing her first year, as i thought they might be more willing to accept her if she was already in the university. Is this just wishful thinking? Does anyone who works or has any experience in this area know if the only way she'll be accepted is if she goes back and does another college course?
She has AABB in higher as well as two advanced higher A's, but they said they only view this as two A's and two B's since the advanced highers are the same as the higher A's. The required entry is four A's.
She's the hardest working person I know, and deserves this more than a lot of the idiots I see at my uni, so I just want to help her get a break.
I realise that most of this makes no sense since the majority of reddit are from America, but I'm just reaching out to see if anyone has any suggestions. | Can someone give advice to someone trying to get into the course they want at university if they have slightly under the required grades? |
t3_b0i2b | AskReddit | Hey ask reddit, I'm graduating from college soon and am looking for some guidance. | So I am graduating with a degree in botany(BS not BA), something which seems odd to the whole of my family and most people who know me. I think in part this is because I was more likely as a child to be found in front of a computer than in a tree. I think both places are fun. I have been teaching myself programming and I think if I could do it all over again I would have studied that instead, it's quite a bit of fun for me. I changed majors several times throughout my time in college, sticking with the world of biology. I've tried doing various kinds of independent lab work, but found it tragically underwhelming and dull. People ask me very often if I have considered grad school, which means something about my behavior is indicating to them that grad school would be a good fit. I don't fully understand what their thinking is in asking, but I would like to avoid any more school for at least a few years, as it does not pay well enough.
My degree may qualify me for forestry type work which is good pay for a recent graduate($40-50k/year). I do not know what a career in forestry work looks like, so I'm not sure if I want to try that path. Ideally I'd like to do something that integrates everything I've learned, but since the breadth of my education is too wide for anything reasonable I'm more than willing to make sacrifices. I have a preference for computer security work, but ATM I'm not well qualified for anything in that field. | Graduating soon, dont know what career to go into; want to find out pros cons and how to open doors in computer world, ideally without having to go through more formal (and expensive) school if possible. |
t3_cc2yp | relationship_advice | Lonlieness.. | Hello RA. The past couple years I've been feeling increasingly lonely every day and its causing me to struggle to see any happiness or take joy in anything I do. I feel extremely cynical and pessimistic when the feeling is very strong. I am 18 years old male, and over the past year I've lost my closest friends to things such as drugs and people moving into different crowds. I tried my hardest to keep these bonds between us but the relationships dissipated quickly. Within the past year I formed a very strong friendship with a female who I developed strong unwanted feelings for recently. She has a boyfriend who was rather dubious of my intentions when I wanted to meet up with her etc, even though I made myself clear to the both of them. I started work recently, and I feel i have no connections with any of my co-workers, even though I've tryed by talking with them about what they like and what I like. I'm not exactly a shut in, I go out a fair amount and have hobbies to keep myself busy, yet I cant shake the feeling of being unwanted and feeling empty. Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do to keep your mind busy and yourself' motivated? | have 1 close friend of opposite sex, lack motivation to do anything, hobbies arent enough to keep me occupied, feel ronery ;_; |
t3_2b2ocj | relationships | My family member [50s F] wants to give me [30 F] an insanely generous gift and I don't know how to say no. | Some background: I have a small family and I don't consider us to be close-knit. My family member (let's call her Katy) wants to give me $10,000 this year and $10,000 next year (to avoid gift taxes). She and her husband gave that amount to their kids (Katy's step-kids) and now she wants to do the same for me. I don't want her money. They are comfortable as far as I know so it's not like I think this is bankrupting them.
I know that you aren't supposed to decline gifts ever because it's very rude but I'm really stressing out about this. She has already given me the first check and I don't know what to do. It's sitting on my table at home and seeing it every day is making me physically ill. I'm prepared to be a little bit rude but I really don't want to hurt her feelings. She knows exactly how I feel about this and she is doing it anyway.
I also sort of feel like this gift is to lessen her own guilt, which doesn't help me feel better about it. | Family member suddenly wants to just give me $20,000 and I don't want it but I don't want to hurt her feelings. |
t3_1tyoyg | relationships | After 2.5 years, my first love [23 F] left me [26 M] on Christmas Eve. | This is a throwaway account. I'm mostly posting this because I lack family/friends to talk to, and I'd like some guidance [mostly] and reassurance. I'm going to be brief, because the grieving process is preventing me from gaining any objective understanding at this time. I think any explanation would be a rationalization.
My girlfriend broke up with me not five days ago. Ever since then I've felt this terrible emptiness within me. I've been attempting to keep myself occupied, whether via gaming, reddit, reading a book, or watching a movie. That being said, there are moments where thoughts rush in, which is quickly followed by an intense amount of pain. I could never imagine what it would be like to lose someone until now.
Part of me says perhaps we'll try again in the future. Another part of me wonders why I should even want to. I've established no contact, but it gets more painful even thinking about no contact. I don't know where to go from this point.
My sister has offered her support, but I've never been close with her. She also lives a few hours from here. My ex was the only person I've disclosed anything deeply personal about myself to. | I'm going through my first break up, which happens to be a long-lasting 2.5 year relationship. No friends and family, trying to learn where to go from here. |
t3_2pwgk9 | relationships | Me [20M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 3 months met and are dating online. Our distance is pretty big but we have future plans. I need advice to keep this going. | I met this girl at the other side of the world and we fit very well. We never met in person though... We met through an online chat and we liked each other. After a while of talking and doing different activities the way we could, we fell for each other and I asked her to be my girlfriend; She agreed and now we're basically together.
**First question: Is this kind of love even possible? **
I have had numerous relationships in the past, but I never felt like this for a girl before. She says the same about me... She had numerous "formal" relationships and it's the first time she actually cared for someone. I totally understand her because it's the same case with me... My former relationships were all formal and I was never really able to build up feelings for a person.
So as we keep texting on daily basis and video chatting 1-3 times a week, our bond is growing. She actually admitted her love to me and so did I. It's pretty amazing to say that when one actually means it. We actually went so far to discuss future plans on how to be/live together in the future (after studies) and she is coming to visit me in my country next year.
You might be thinking why the hell I'm posting this... Well here are my worries:
Is this relationship too good to be true? I mean everything I say to her and I want it to happen more than anything else, but I also don't want to live in the world of expectations and end up hurt. Is a relationship like this likely to end or does it have potential to live? Are the things we discussed to early to discuss?
I need some useful insight on this. I want this to last and I'm ready to wait. She is giving me something no one else gave me in the past and I think it's worth it. So, some ideas and advice would be pretty appreciated along with answers to some of my questions. | I have an online long distance relationship with a girl across the globe. Is something like this likely to end up good? What are some ideas to keep things going until we meet in person (next year). |
t3_3g6tu0 | relationships | Me [27 M] found myself without friends. How do you socialize/find women to date if I have no one to go out with. | I am not sure if this is a common situation for others here, but after college my friends have moved away and I find it difficult to find new friends to go out or spend time with. I am reluctant to become friends with people I work with for a few reasons.
I was hoping for some tips or advice from people who have overcome similar situations. I find if difficult to meet women to date, or even new friends without a social circle to go out with. It doesn't feel very productive going to a bar by myself. I feel like any of the activities I participate in, if I was to approach a woman and ask her out, I would be creepy or weird. | friends move away. friendless and trying to find out how to make new friends or meet women by myself. How can I change this. |
t3_27boi6 | relationships | My [22F] roommate [21F] is trying to sublease her room to someone I have a restraining order against. Please help! | When I was a freshman in college a guy named Pete [21M] (name changed) began harassing me to date him. I refused over and over again and it ended with him ripping my shirt off at a party to try to touch my breasts. I filed a police report and Pete was found guilty of assault. I have a 1000 ft restraining order against Pete.
Fast forward to this week, and my roommate Shelly needs a subletter to take over for her while she studies abroad for the summer. She didn't know she was leaving until two weeks ago and has been looking for someone to take over since then. She found Pete on CL and asked me if I approved. I showed her my court documents but Shelly claims she can't find anyone else to take over and that I will "have to deal". We got into a heated argument and she just left the apartment.
This morning, Shelly texted me that Pete would be moving his stuff into the apartment today. I called the police, but Pete hasn't showed up yet so they can't do anything. Shelly also says she will be staying for the remainder of the week.
The lease says that she can move whoever she wants in without my permission (same goes for me), but there's still the issue of the restraining order. The landlord told me that it was between Shelly and me to figure out. We both have 1 year leases that expire in December with the same terms. | Roommate is trying to sublease our apartment to a man I have a restraining order against. She told me to deal with it. Landlord and cops haven't done anything about it. |
t3_36cu8q | relationships | I (32M) think about having sex with ALOT of the women that I come i to contact with on a daily basis even though I am happily married (29F) and have 2 kids. Do other men in long term relationships think like this or do I have a problem? | I have never cheated on my wife and don't think I ever would/could but have never allowed myself to get in that situation. It hasn't affected our relationship yet (6Y) because I don't think she knows (I try not to make it obvious) but I have a feeling I shouldn't be thinking like this and I know she would be distraught if she found out I thought like this. I literally think about having sex with 90% of the woman I come into contact with whether I'm at work, the supermarket, my children's kindy or at friends houses etc.
Do other men that are in relationships think like this or do I have some kind of problem? | I think I think about having sex with too many women that aren't my wife. Do I have a problem? Do other men think this way? |
t3_40emm8 | relationships | I [28/F] am starting to wonder if my boyfriend [31/M] of 3 years is with me for convenience. | I am with my boyfriend of 3 years. I love him so much that despite my best judgement, I decided to move in with him with the intention to get married. However, it just hit me today that maybe he's with me out of convenience. I do all the cleaning, I painted and spent my money to decorate the house. He pays the mortgage and I pay all the other bills, including grocery bills. We have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a month. I usually have to ask for it, but I try to be understandable because he has a low libido. Whenever I try to talk about my issues, I try my best to logical and express specific concerns with suggestions on how to fix it. But not matter what, my bringing up concerns upsets him and he doesn't talk to me for a whole night. He says it's because he feels bad. But when I feel bad, I try to make it up to the other person. Even after we've had a productive conversation on how we can change, he does nothing to try and make things better. If we have a discussion about how he doesn't help me clean up after the cats, I'm still the one that has to clean up after them or their litter box is full.
I don't want to make him out to be a bad guy, because he isn't. We lived together before we got the house. He took care of me when I had to get out of my house (overbearing mom). We have so many similar interests and tastes. Our families love each other. So I think that he does love me, but I'm not sure. The 'special' things that he maybe does for me is buy me hard cider or cook dinner, but that is not often. He'll give me kisses, but he's playing around. There's no intimacy and it's making me wonder if I'm just their to do chores and be there if he gets into the mood. Am I thinking too much? Is there anything that I could say that doesn't result in him shutting me out for a night? | I am doing a lot of the chores and there is no intimacy in my relationship. Is my boyfriend with me just for convenience? |
t3_2jm6ca | GetMotivated | [Meta] Is the goal here to get motivated, or to somehow prove that the post is not motivational? | Some backstory for me : The last few months I needed a bit of motivation. My father passed from cancer. My mom has tried to commit twice now, once before and once after his death. My aunt died a week after my father. I needed something.
So I found my way here, and I see all these posts that offer tidbits for how to get back on track. Some helped, some didn't. Some were absurd and some were flat out funny.
But even if I found something to be ineffective in motivating me doesn't mean that I went to the comments section to explain why the post was shit and why the advice was bad.
It seems like every post here has a top comment which at best is pedantic and at worst completely dismisses the advice. Why? All advice works. Not all advice works for everyone. If you are depressed, do you really feel the need to go onto the comments and explain why one persons viewpoint of depression is completely wrong and the advice is shit.
If someone links a quote saying to "Live life like there is no tomorrow", does there really need to be an explanation that if we all followed this advice then we'd probably be broke and/or screwed?
I just don't know why some of you are here. I am thankful for everything that has lit a fire under my ass to try, but I just shake my head at what I see sometimes. | If you are on a sub reddit that is dedicated to getting people motivated, and you spend more time complaining about the posts than taking their advice then you are probably doing it wrong. |
t3_h7fni | AskReddit | How can I collect money a recent ex-BF owes me? | In February, my then-BF and I decided to purchase a 'family' Mexico vacation with my son. I had cash to pay for my son and myself, but my BF did not. He said he couldn't put the $800 for his part of the trip on his own credit card, so after many guarantees of no breakups and swearing he'd pay me back, I put his $800 trip on my credit card. 3 weeks later, he broke up with me.
We've remained friendly, but as of yet (2 months later), he still has not spoken with me about paying me back. He owes quite a bit in taxes and has other financial concerns. But having dated him for 3 years, I know how he spends money, so I know he could pay me back if he wanted to.
I've emailed him several times with options/suggestions for paying me back ($50/month to cover my minimum monthly payment on my credit card bill, PayPal, etc.). He has not acknowledged these emails.
At what point do I get 'ugly'? I can't really afford to throw away $800. | Ex-boyfriend owes me $800 for a vacation he's no longer going on. How do I collect the money? |
t3_30ewar | personalfinance | Job Move for Pay Increase? | Hi folks! There's a wealth of information in here, so I was hoping to get some of your perspectives on a personal dilemma:
I've got a great career, it's with a company that really treats employees the way they should be. Everyone's opinions are valued, everyone is very bright but doesn't have the ego that sometimes goes with it, pay and benefits are great, etc.
About 6 months ago, a recruiter caught my eye (I usually ignore them) with a posting. It's with a small company working with big data, something I've wanted to get into. I went through the interview with them, they wanted to form an offer, but what the recruiter told me the pay *could* be didn't line up with what it would be. It would have been a lateral move.
The recruiter contacted me again yesterday, saying the company is even more successful, and they've bumped up pay and benefits. I'd still have to go through an interview, and there isn't any guarantee for an offer again (given the odd way we left off last time). But here's my current comp and potential comp at this company:
Current: base 112k, 10% discretionary (usually pays out at ~8%), 2% 401k match, 4 weeks PTO, 1 week volunteer work PTO. Non-tangibles include working from home Tues/Thurs, free breakfast/lunch/drinks/snacks, awesome/bright coworkers.
New: 135k, $5k company options, 3 weeks PTO, 3% 401k match. No work from home days without approval, free drinks/snacks (no breakfast/lunch), some bright employees and a few awkward ones. :)
Would you pursue the new job? Why or why not? | would you leave a great job with great pay for an unknown job with 1 week less vacation and $20k more base salary? |
t3_4t7px8 | travel | New Year's Eve/Day in Austria | My girlfriend and I (21F and 21M) will be traveling this December/January on a two week tour of Austria, from Vienna to Innsbruck. Unfortunately we are unable to make it during the Christmas festivities (we will touch down on December 26th) but we will be in Vienna for New Year's Eve. As a Valentine's Day present I got us tickets to the Hofburg Silvester Ball and she is very excited about that. The day after I was hoping to spend a day in Hallstatt, but it seems everything in the city is closed.
I would really appreciate some insight about what can be done fairly close to Salzburg/Salzburgerland (reachable by public transit) on New Years Day. We seriously don't mind spending the whole day relaxing/walking around. Something like a quiet resort room and a view sounds fantastic. The idea is for New Year's Day to be a little, relaxing break. Quite frankly, this will be a trying year for our relationship (we will both be entering our careers, we will be in different cities for five months), and I want to start it off right. I don't mind dropping a little bit of coin this particular day (up to $300).
I apologize if the answer is obvious. This is my first travel abroad and I have a bit of analysis paralysis. I really appreciate it! Thanks! | I'm looking for something relaxing (preferably good for couples) to do in Austria on New Year's Day near Salburg or Hallstatt on New Year's Day. I'd love some suggestions. |
t3_rbil2 | Dogtraining | About to have 10 to 15 people over and I have a dog that jumps on people when they enter the door, he is very overwhelming. What can I do to make this work? | We're having a small party at my house with 10 to 15 guests, all adults. I have two dogs, an older chihuahua mix who is pretty tame, and a 16 month old lab/doxen mix who is sweet but can be very overbearing!! He jumps on people when they enter the door and will nip at people's shoes and jeans. We have been overdue for dog lessons, and will be registering him for puppy training at Petco soon.
What can I do when people come in the door so that Buddy (the lab) will not overpower them and make them uncomfortable?
We have a crate and plenty of things to occupy his time with, I just want him to be able to socialize with the people at the party well without us just sticking him in the crate with a chew toy. | House party tonight at 6, we have a hyper lab-mix that overwhelms people when they enter, what do I do? |
t3_1fs9u5 | running | Starting C25K today with hopes of continuing on to train for the Disney Princess Half Marathon in Feb 2014. Anyone want to join me? | The [Disney Princess Half Marathon] is at Epcot on Feb 23 2014. This gives me 8 months to train from couch to completing the race. I'm looking for online training partners because I've never done anything like this before and don't really have any support.
I plan on using C25K to get to the point where I can jog 30min/5K. After that, I want to use Jeff Galloway's [Disney Princess Half Marathon training program for beginners] which sort of picks up where C25K leaves off, but adds a long run on the weekend. It seems like a very simple schedule to keep up with and only really requires a longer time commitment on Saturday (or whatever long run day is for you.)
This is a big deal to me because I've always failed physically. My friends and family are wonderful people, but they don't believe in me because I've never given them a reason to believe in me. I can't fault them for that, but I want to conquer this and show myself that I can do it.
Totally not going to lie, I mostly want to go to this particular HM because [I want a tiara medal] and [personalized princess bib]( | 25F, 5'10", 190lb and losing, living in southwest Florida, total running novice, looking for online training buddies for 1/2 marathon in Feb 2014, wants a damn tiara medal |
t3_z0fl2 | relationships | Should I expect an apology (wedding related)? | I (23M) have a friend from work (~29F) who I have known for about 2 years. She announced one year ago that she was engaged and would be getting married this summer, but did not give a definite date.
Fastrack to April of this year. My friend and I are talking alone and she mentions that she'd like me to come to the wedding. I accept. She gives me the date (25 August 2012) and asks if I will be bringing anyone. I tell her I won't be. She tells me that she'll let me know the time and location at a later date. She asks me not to mention it to anybody else from work, because many of them weren't invited.
After having this conversation, I waited for her to give me a formal invite, or let me know the time and location. Many weeks passed, and she didn't mention it. I began to suspect that she had reconsidered her invitation, and I didn't confront her about it (it's kind of hard to say, "Hey, you know that wedding you're having? Can I still come?").
Two weeks before the date of the wedding, I realised that I probably wasn't going to hear any more about it, so I booked a trip home to visit my family over the time of the wedding. Before I caught my flight, I sent her a text, wishing her a great wedding and a happy marriage. She didn't reply to the message. Posts on her facebook wall suggest that the wedding went very well.
I got back from visiting my family on Sunday. My friend called me in work yesterday, and I thought she might want to talk about the situation, but she kept the conversation brief and work related. Neither of us mentioned the wedding.
I'm pretty annoyed about the way this has gone down. I wouldn't have minded if she'd called me at some point and said, "Sorry, you can't come to my wedding any more." But she just acted as if she hadn't invited me. Am I right to expect an apology from my friend? Should I congratulate her on the wedding? | Friend invited me to wedding, asked me to keep it secret. She didn't mention it again, and didn't provide me with the location/time details. I didn't go and I'm annoyed about the way it went down. |
t3_3d7p2n | relationships | Me [36 M] with my crush [37 F] for 7 months, crush mess how do I hint I like her? | Right so I've got a crush on a friend, we met via my best friend.
We've hung out together and pretty much like the same things. For example we both like Doctor Who, Both a similar age, both like going to museums, cinemas, clubs on occasion and hanging out etc.
A few times this person had taken me home and we had some what deepish talks during the journey. For example asked each other questions like When would you date someone? Would you move in with them before marriage? Even at clubs we danced together and once they even kissed me on the cheek, I assume this was a drunk thing.
This person is also pretty much open and flirty (flirty which I ain't but open). Though I'm not sure if they likes me, my best friend or our other friend since they've spent more time with those two and seems to be closer.
I'll be seeing them soon, with my best friend, and will be staying with them for a while. I was wondering what I should say or what kind of hints I can give. I don't want to ruin our friendship nor do I want to ruin my best friends friendship. The other friend I mentioned above I couldn't care less about.
We have never talked really closely with each other so I have no indication how they feel or if they know how I feel. Id appreciate any advice on how I can approach this without breaking friendships or ways I can hint at me liking them.
Note: I've only been in a single ship my entire life, so have very little experience with this. | like my crush of 7 months that I'll be seeing soon. Want to give hints/explain feelings without ruining friendships? |
t3_1kaz6c | relationships | Am I [20F] busting my [20M] boyfriend's balls? | My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. Recently, I've been more vocal about things that bother me in our relationship. The things that tend to bother me typically have to do with his interactions with other females. For instance, the other night we were at a party and I saw him and another girl making suggestive eye contact while she was dancing a couple feet away. I immediately hit him on the shoulder and asked what that was all about, he claimed he was just being friendly. Another time, we were at music festival and my boyfriend was using body paint to paint on our friends. I walked away to help a friend of mine for 15 minutes and I came back to see that my boyfriend had painted something all up another female's thighs. This pissed me off and I told him that was unacceptable. His response was that he was just painting where the girl asked him to paint. Little things like this happen in our relationship quite often and I just want to know if I'm being too hard on my boyfriend or if I'm doing the right thing by vocalizing my concerns. | Sometimes my boyfriends interactions with other females makes me uncomfortable. I want to know if I'm just being too hard on him for little things or if I actually have something to worry about |
t3_53kdn4 | relationships | I [22F] still sometimes have trouble overcoming a rough sexual past even though my boyfriend [22M] of two years is patient and kind. | I used to blame my problems with intimacy on body image issues. However, I've since become very content with how I look and know that my boyfriend is crazy about me. I was disappointed to find that this newfound confidence did not solve all my problems--especially because I was sure that my low self-esteem was the root of all evil.
My ex used to take advantage of me very regularly. I was typically never sober/too weak to say no. I adamantly avoided sex with him, but I could never fully escape it--mainly because of guilt. I always felt extremely used and isolated afterwards but because it was my first relationship I had nothing to compare it to.
Years later, I never thought these experiences would still affect me. Though, I guess it's because I mainly just tried to repress what happened (and why I thought the problem lie elsewhere). My boyfriend is aware of what used to go on in my previous relationship and never pressures me. He's so kind and I absolutely trust him, yet there are still sometimes I hesitate to be touched. I hate feeling this way.
How can I work through these feelings? How can I communicate better with my partner to overcome this? | I was taken advantage of by an ex and now have trouble with intimacy in my current, loving relationship. How can I work on this? |
t3_3r5e81 | relationships | My fiancé (21F) and myself (21M) are going through a hard time. | I'll try not to make this long, but my fiance and I seem to be going through a really rough phase. For perspective, I'm the sole provider, I work while she stays at home due to having scoliosis. I pay the bills, I pay for food, I buy clothes, gas, you get the idea. I love her to death, literally, and even though I haven't really had other partners, after 7 years of being together, I'm still madly in love with her. We fight about things from time to time, like everyone else, however lately it seems we fight for no reason. Originally it started with rational things, not helping out around the house, not doing chores etc, to not paying attention when we were having deep, important talks about "us", to getting in fights because I had a bad day at work and she is grumpy because she is bored.
Anyways, today was probably the worst fight we've had yet, and to be honest I don't even really remember why if started, which I guess shows how dumb the fight really was. We both said some things we shouldn't have said, and did things we shouldn't have done. Both saw red I guess.
At the end of it, we both have had so much stress that its worn us out. We both love each other so much, and just being in the others presence makes us happy, but I feel like I fail her when we fight like this. I'm not sure how I should go from here, we keep making improvements, but I feel like these fights are getting to be too much for her.
I've been thinking about taking some time off work, I haven't had a real vacation in 4 years. Then Ill see how goes from there I guess, see if I can reset. Basically I want to know, am I really being too hard on her/ being an asshole, or am I just over stressed? | me and my fiance have been fighting alot due to me being stressed out from work and I want to know if it's really my fault. |
t3_2d6c2b | relationship_advice | Me (33/M) Conjuring Magic on Her (32/F) | Hello. This is my first post and I hope to convey my thoughts about my current interest.
She's my classmate in elementary school and I think she was my seatmate before. I remember that we used to share pencils and papers. Talked IIRC.
We were never been together since then. But I got her facebook and see the updates happening in her life.
So she recently moved to NYC and now were just a subway or 2 away.
But I'm not on speaking terms with her. We chatted when she was new here but that's all.
Now, something occurred to me. I thought to examine her name and birthday, fired up Stellarium to see our star alignments, consulted numerology sites and used my customized computer programs to see if we click ethereally.
And it seems like we do.
So I made a picture which I enchanted with prayers and posted it to my facebook, hoping for her to see it.
It contains her birthdate (18th) and my birthdate (21st).
here's the picture.
its a combination of triskelions bearing our birthdates. 6+6+6 = 18 and 7+7+7 = 21.
I was hoping for her to see it and wait the effects.
Hoping that she will think about me.
; | Conjuring Love Magic on her. What's your thoughts. Should I just be blunt and ask her out or trust the forces of immaterial nature |
t3_2a5tlf | personalfinance | Considering debt consolidation (CA) | Hello guys,
I'm a freelance marketer and journalist and have amassed too much credit card debt. I spent a lot of money in the last year after a bad break up, and travelled the world, and tried to make a documentary film.
I have 3 credit cards all of them maxed. I have $7000 cash which Im afraid of spending on all my CC debt at once since I am not sure of when or how I will get cash in the future.
I know I should probably pay down my CC debt as fast as possible with the cash at hand - but it's still difficult for some reason for me to do this. I know I should also cut up my cards. But again, Im beign an idiot. Right?
My main question aside from looking for general advice is whether I should be consolidating my credit debt somehow - and whether a bank would be the place to go, or a private lender?
Any reccomended websites or services in Canada greatly appreciated. | have way too much credit card debt, work as a freelancer with no steady income, should I consolidate my debts, if so how?* |
t3_3am047 | AskDocs | Jones break: how serious? Can I be doing more damage walking on it w out my crutches/ boot? | 3 weeks ago I was running, sprained my ankle (so I thought), and then went to the doctor a few days later when it wasn't getting better. The doctor did an x-ray and said I have a Jones break, sasaidid said surgery might be necessary surgery MIGHT be necessary, follow- up appointment 1 month out. He has me in a boot and on crutches, and says to do zero weight-bearing pressure on the broken foot.
I was really good about crutches and a boot for the first few weeks, but it's become a hassle getting around the house. So often at night I find myself just taking the boat off and walking aroundto get to the kitchen, bathroom, etc. this causes me no pain. is this bad I walk on it a little?? | jones break left foot. Am I doing damage by sometimes walking on it w out my boot/ crutches, despite having no pain when I do walk on it? Does no pain= no damage? |
t3_1df0ad | self | I've had past relationships and I'm still unsure if I want to be in one. | A bit of background: I'm 27 (male); before 20 I hadn't even sought a relationship, then around my early 20's I got into my first relationship (mostly peer pressured by her friends, mutually ended about 6 months later). Another relationship a couple of years later that started long-distance and it had moments of bliss. Moved in together eventually and we were together for about 3 years (there was a splitup of about 5 months in there though). Things mutually ended last year and I feel refreshed after leaving the relationship.
I have nothing horrible to say about either relationships and rather one had some fantastic experiences. Another factor is that (like most of reddit, har har) I'm an introvert and I figure that contributes to how I feel. One relationship was also with another introvert though, so I'm not sure if that really matters in the end.
But I still don't know if I even want to be in a relationship. How do I even go about figuring this out? I don't really feel like I want to spend say 10 years going in and out of relationship(s) then finally figuring out I didn't want to spend my time in a relationship. At the same time I want to figure this out. :/
Any thoughts? Thank you. | Been in multiple relationships (one over 2 years) and still unsure if I want to be in a relationship in general. |
t3_29s7xk | relationship_advice | I [m/17] met a [f/16] on Facebook, she is moving to my city and I'm falling for her. After a month of texting/talking her mom called me today and banned me from talking to her. | About a month ago, the most beautiful girl I have ever talked to messaged me on Facebook. She told me that she was moving in with her sister that lives in the same city as me. She said that she wasn't going to know anyone, I told her I would be her friend. I asked her why she was moving all the way across the country, so she told me that she is having really bad family issues. She told me that her mom had her when she was fifteen, she constantly punishes she for ridiculous reason. Her mom constantly lies about her and that she acts like teenager. We started talking and we immediately hit it off. We have been talking for about a month and she is moving here next week. I'm getting serious feelings for her. My world came crashing down when I got a phone call today from her mom. She asked me who I was, where I lived, and then she told me to never talk to her again and hung up. I don't know what to do. Should I try to call her mom and introduce myself? I feel like her mom would be hard to deal with. I also think her mom might be doing this out of spite. | I met a girl on Facebook that is moving to my city, started falling in love with her. A month into our relationship her mom calls me and tells me to never talk to her again. What do I do? |
t3_qwh9b | AskReddit | Reddit - Why do I feel this way? Why am I sad when I know I shouldn't be...and has anyone else felt this way before? | A bit of a background story before I start. I used to be a hardcore gamer back in high school...I played like 9-13hours a day and didn't really have a great social life and barely any close friends since I'm always on the computer gaming. Since I got into university my 1st and 2nd year were pretty much similar in terms of gaming and I didn't get to meet a lot of people. I realized in third year that this wasn't healthy for me and I should go out more to meet new people. Since then I have felt a lot happier, made tons of friends and close friends that I don't think I've ever felt so happy.
Now I'm in fourth year and I've met even more people and made some new friends which I'm really thankful for. I should be really happy but everyday I feel really empty inside. I've never felt this way before so it has gotten me really confused with my emotions and depressed. I should be really happy since I've made so many close friends but it seems that no matter how many times I meet up with people or talk to my close friends I still feel really sad and empty inside. Reddit what is wrong with me? Why did I start feeling this way all of a sudden out of nowhere. I don't know why I'm so sad all the time when I should be really happy and blessed for all the friends I have. | I was a huge gamer with not many friends. I decided I would change my life and I've gained many close friends but I feel really empty and sad inside. I don't know why. |
t3_upshb | relationships | I don't know if we have the same goals in mind | My gf (23) and I (24) have been dating for a little over a year and a half. We met in school and both graduated last year. Before I start, she is a wonderful, caring and beautiful person inside and out. I just don't know if she's happy with me any more.
We started dating our senior year of college and we were both carefree, happy people. Started as friends but it moved to something more. Things were great for a long time but since we started working, she gets easily agitated and angry. It gets to the point where I don't even want to be around her because she tends to take it out on the people closest to her. She never used to be like this and I figured it would take a couple months for her to get used to working 40+ hours a week. But it's been almost a year and if anything, it's getting worse.
She has major problems dealing with stress and has stated multiple times over the last few months that she's not happy with anything. I'm a very patient and loyal person so I've helped her through it but like everyone else, I have a breaking point. Sometimes I just want to pick up and leave because I get so angry that she doesn't seem happy with me anymore but I don't have it in me to do that. But it's getting to the point where she says at least once a week that she hates everything about her life. I know she loves me and I love her but if she's not happy, what's the point?
I don't want to ramble on so if you guys have more questions feel free to ask. I would appreciate any and all advice on this. Thanks! | Girlfriend's emotions are getting the best of both of us. Wondering if she would be happier without me? Sometimes I want to move on but other times I see the girl I fell in love with |
t3_4leo3q | relationships | My (f/28) Boyfriend's(m/27) BFF hit his gf. Boyfriend asked me for advice. | Throwaway just in case.
The characters:
Me (f/28)
My Boyfriend, Dave (m/27)
Boyfriend's best friend, Chris (m/early 30s?)
Chris Girlfriend, Kristen (f/late 20s?)
Chris and Kristen live on the other side of the country from Dave and I. It came out that Chris beat Kristen over a fight concerning emotional cheating. Kristen messaged Dave reaching out for advice and asking if Dave knew about the emotional cheating. She also sent him pictures of the bruises.
Dave knew that Chris had a problem with flirting with random Internet women and leading them on but didn't know that it had continued through their relationship.
A bunch of craziness ensued between Chris and Kristen but she decided to take him back.
Here is the part where I need advice. Dave is very sweet and loyal but also very sheltered. Due to the way he was raised he is often a little clueless when it comes to social situations and is very optimistic about people.
He can't believe that Chris would do something like that and thinks that it is very out of character for him. Though he admits he doesn't really know anything about Chris's personal life. Chris has been there in the past for Dave and helped him through some shit. Dave is asking my advice on how to navigate this situation. I've told him that I think that if Chris won't get help and he hits Kristen again he shouldn't continue to be friends with him. He doesn't understand that because "Chris hitting Kristen has nothing to do with him." I pointed out that hitting Kristen is an indication of character and that kinda helped him understand my point.
How do I proceed? Am I in the wrong? If not how do I get my point across? | Boyfriend's best friend beat his girlfriend. Boyfriend wants to remain loyal to his BFF but asked my advice and doesn't understand why I disagree |
t3_37be3l | relationships | Is this his (23M) attempt at "negging" me (21F) or is he just an asshole | I've hung out with this guy a few times before, usually in a group, and he was always extremely sweet to me. He actually lived under me last year, and I was going through a really hard time and crying myself to sleep a lot which I'm sure he heard. He's basically nocturnal and told me to come and hang out if I ever couldn't sleep and wanted to talk about anything, and he seemed super genuine and concerned. And when things started getting better for me and I started going out more and doing more things he would tell me "It's really good to see you out, I'm glad to see you." I think he even told his mom about me and my breakdowns, because I met her once and she was being *extremely* doting and motherly towards me in particular.
But the other night we were at a party and both a bit drunk and he was saying really rude things all night with a completely straight face. I can take a joke, I'm really sarcastic, and my friends know they can make fun of me all night and I won't give a shit... But he honestly seemed dead serious. Like, "You're just terrible at everything aren't you?" "You know I'm the only one in that group that actually likes you?" "I've never had less fun with anybody." "After today I literally never want to see you again, I'm serious."
It was just non-stop insults, and I would have thought for sure he hated me except he was also being a bit touchy feely, tickling me and ruffling my hair. And despite the constant insults he was largely focused on me and only me for most of the night. It was a complete 180, and really took me by surprise and I'm not sure how to feel because I'm kind of into him (or into who I thought he was) | Guy was always extremely sweet to me before. We ran into each other drunk at a party and he was saying the rudest things all night... but was touchy feely. |
t3_3k1byj | relationships | I [21 M] started seeing this woman[20 F] two days ago and need some advice to keep this from ending badly | So I'm starting to see this woman, we're both college students. We met on Tinder and were supposed to just hang out together and cuddle but it turns out we get along really well together and I think we both like each other a lot. I wasn't supposed to spend the night but things wound up getting more involved (no sex) until we were interrupted around 9AM which is probably a good thing because otherwise I would have tried to go farther.
She texted me later and asked what I wanted from "this" and I basically told her "you're awesome and I like you a lot but I'm in no position to take on a serious committed relationship since I'm going to be graduating soon and leaving the state." I said I was fine with just cuddling and messing around and that it was nice to have someone I like to cuddle with and talk to. She said that was cool and that she also wanted a cuddle buddy to mess around with.
After that conversation things got interesting again and we wound up on my bed wearing just underwear and I wound up playing with her until she got off.
The giant red flag here is that she's never gone that far with a guy before and I know that given enough time I'm going to wind up sticking it in her (she had barely kissed a guy before and a few hours after we met each other I had my hand down her pants...) Based on how last time I was someone's first time worked out that would mean things would become a lot more committed. This would be all fine except that I'm not sticking around, I'm moving across the country next spring. Not sticking around wouldn't be a problem if I didn't like her.
Another complicating factor is that she's overweight which is something I really try to avoid. I get the feeling that if I keep seeing her I'll meet someone who I also get along great with and have that hard decision to make. | Went on Tinder date with fat girl, planned on fucking her brains out, turns out she's really inexperienced, turns out I like her. I'm moving across the country next spring. |
t3_euqi8 | AskReddit | Agression on the bus, what's right? | Some bloke, as he got on the bus, was pulling and then hitting his girl. Immediately everyone jumped between them and got him off her, only making him hit them instead. Everyone got on the bus, and after some pushing, pulling, and threatening things subdued. The bus driver sold a ticket to the man.
During the twenty minutes between towns, the man kept on raging (presumably under the influence of drugs) against his girl, threatening to continue "on her" at home as she escalated it (his words).
A few passengers, including me, urged the driver right from the start to contact police. He said there was no one he could call and prior to departure he kept asking, rather annoyed, whether he could "get on or what".
Just before the first stop in the other town, the bloke got up and walked to the back of the bus and throws a fit with the passengers who got between him and the girl, but he (and the girl) got off at that stop before it escalated inside the bus.
Especially because of his threats of domestic violence (and the fact that he did already hit her) I called 112 at that point. I figure this was the right thing to do?
Now what I wonder is, shouldn't the bus driver have contacted police? It's a 20 minute ride between the towns, they would've had plenty of time to get to the stop. I'm rather angry at him. Rightly so? Should I have called police much earlier? | passenger hits girl, other passengers, threatens domestic violence to girl, bus driver doesn't give a shit. I called 112 only after they got off. |
t3_jotyb | AskReddit | BF spends lots of time with another girl. Story inside. | I'm a 21/f in my first relationship, so I'm new to all of this. My boyfriend hangs around with another girl a lot, and it makes me uncomfortable. She puts out a lot and is obsessed with sex, one of those girls who never stops talking about it and proudly refers to herself as a slut. The thing is, I'm not sure about the details but she's actually not fully biologically female. My boyfriend let it slip so all I know is that she's not fully female (very obviously though, I thought she was a transexual from the moment I met her).
Another thing is, she has told him that she's in love with him, and has kissed him before (she claimed she didn't know we were dating at this point, could be true though). I trust that he won't fool around with her but I don't trust her the slightest.
I just feel a little bit thrown to the side sometimes, like he goes on "dates" with her, buys her dinner, and sleeps over at her house (slightly more complicated than it sounds - he works for her filthy rich dad out of town as a gardener, so when its too late to bike 1.5 hours home, he stays the night). Last weekend him and a bunch of our mutual friends went to a fancy dinner together and I wasn't invited for some reason. I saw the pictures of it and she was invited and was hanging off his arm, sitting on his lap etc.
He sees it as innocent because she's a bit of a social outcast (by her own doing, she's a downright bitch) and he's trying to help her make friends and stuff, and he assures me that he's not sexually attracted to her, which I believe as she's not fully female and he's pretty hetero. Basically this situation would be okay if he was hanging out with a guy all the time, it would be inappropriate if he was hanging out with a girl all the time, but in this case it's a transexual so... is it okay? I don't think it is, but he does.
What do I do? Well, I tell him of course. But what do I say? | my boyfriend hangs around with a transexual girl who wants his peen, it makes me uncomfortable, what do I do? |
t3_2kd3fy | relationships | I 20M want advice on remaining "friends" with a sociopath 21M | I would like input from people who have dealt with sociopaths, or would consider themselves sociopaths.
I have known this person for three years, and been really good "friends" for about 1.5 of those years.
He is incredibly intelligent, and a great teacher. He's very open about his mentality to me, about how he puts on a mask on his true personality around other people and how it is absolutely imperative that no one else find out this about him. He gets VERY angry if I let by something about him, or mention his name to anyone.
He's also mentioned things hinting at taking pictures of girls in public, but never delved into, when I told him it was creepy and not funny joke.
This guy is very successful and has helped me A LOT. We were actually really good "friends" at first, at least in my head.. It took a few months but I noticed cracks in his armour. He's obsessed with having the power in a relationship - specifically my compliance and respect for him. There is nothing he can get from me in terms of value. He doesn't ask me for money, favours, etc, but he can go from friendly and joking to incredibly verbally abusive in the space of a few seconds when he wants my compliance or feel disrespected. The way he transitions from these emotional states seem very unnatural as well.
I feel my dilemma on the other hand could sound a bit sociopathic too, but I'll put it out there anyway. I need this guy for at least another two years if I want to be successful. As I said, he's a great teacher, has lots of knowledge.
What do I need to be wary of when approaching this. I feel in essentially asking how I can get away with walking into a lions den, without getting eaten, but I would really appreciate your advice.
What are some things I should be cautious of?
How should I handle his need for compliance at inappropriate times? I do not Have much emotion for him and do not see him as a real friend (but to say that I don't think of him as a friend at all would be a lie).
What are some possible repercussions of my choice here? | Want advice on keeping ties and remaining safe with someone who may be/ probably is a sociopath, for the sole sake of my future career. |
t3_1pbdog | relationships | Should I [21F] consider dating my friend, even if she was an ex of an ex friend [20/F]? | I dated Natalie about seven years ago as teenagers, I lost contact with her throughout the years. She dated my friend last year, they both lasted eight months per se and it was pretty bad relationship. Natalie would often come to me for comfort and advice. Natalie would show feelings for me and even told me. There were times when she tried to talk to me, flirt and touch me but it felt to awkward.
I later grew feelings for Natalie and I told my best friend, I only felt it was right. Though I never did anything with Natalie. I was actually a douche-bag to her cause I did not want to express my feelings for her. My friend stopped talking with me for a while because of this. About in August my friend and I got into an argument and stopped all contact with me (very little contact with Natalie).
Last month Natalie and I hung out again together and feelings were expressed (cuddling) and now we talk more often via text. We both are pretty busy, so its not everyday. Plus she lives about 2 hours from me. | I am crushing on my friends ex (who was also my ex). I think there are signs that she may like me as well. I don't know if I should continue being friends with her or consider dating her. |
t3_2wv2cc | relationships | I (18f) feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick in my relationship with him (21m) | We've been together for a few months, three, I think. When things started off we each gave an equal amount of time and emotional support. Lately I've been feeling like I've been the one to give more, to care more. We don't fight often but when we do he gets loud. He doesn't insult me or anything, he literally just states his argument in a louder, more aggressive tone and it's hard for me to deal with. He knows that and tries not to be like that but it still happens sometimes and it hurts.
I feel like I'm the one picking up the pieces whenever things go wrong with us, and it's not fair. I feel like I'm the one who is responsible for the happiness of both of us because I'm the one who needs to say the right things to fix our issues. I feel like I make myself more available to him both emotionally and physically (as in, I make more effort to see him than he does me) and it's not fair. Whenever I need something, it needs to work with his schedule, but when he needs something and I can't give it to him it frustrates him and turns into a big thing.
My apologies if any of this is unclear, I'm sure it is, but I just really needed to get that all out | I feel that I give him more than he gives me in both a physical and emotional way. The biggest and most prevalent example is in our arguments. |
t3_f8zd1 | AskReddit | Reddit, I am renting a house and my friend who lived here with me(not on the lease) ditched without paying...What can I do?(More info inside) | So, I am renting a three bedroom house and my friend and his older brother both moved in with me at the end of summer 2010. I have held the lease for the last year and a half and did not think it was necessary to add them to the lease as they are my friends. Well, lo and behold, over the Christmas break my roommate Steve up and leaves without paying his bills for that month or the rent. I had to find out about this from another friend who he was moving in with. The difference came out to be about 50$ per month and that was his excuse for wanting to move. 50$. When he moved in, we had all sat down and talked about how they needed to be living here for the term of the lease and that I trusted them so we didn't need to have new paperwork drawn up. Now, I have been screwed by him after I have previously helped him on an almost monthly basis to come up with money for his rent and other basic expenses until he could pay me back. I feel betrayed and now I am broke from paying his share of the bills. | Friend skipped out on rent and other bills when we had a verbal agreement that he would be living with me for an additional seven months. Don't think I can do anything, but thought I'd ask anyway. |
t3_3t3a0w | Advice | I need some advice on school | Hi Reddit! I've been lurking for a long time and have sadly got a reason to post. Also I'm posting from mobile so sorry in advance for any mistakes.
Ok so this began at the start of this school year. I am going into my first year of high school and I get into the high school of my dreams. So far everything (but this issue) has gone perfect. I made good friends am finding out what kind of person I want to be blah blah blah -insert emotional garbage here- and I love everything about it.The only thing is that I was very stupid and started to date (yes I know I can't drive and its stupid to "date" but hormones bro) my English teachers daughter. That lasted about a week(of course) and now she hates me. A lot. Some people may try and say she is just looking out for me etc... but that stuff is not the real problem. The problem is I dun goofed and didn't do this evil thing called "membean"- -shudders-- and my Über Christian dad with super high expectations wants me to get a grade for it. If I don't get a grade for it then he will pull me out of this school that I love so much. I'm working my butt of to do well in school and stuff but he doesn't care. The assignment isn't something that you can re-do or turn in late. It's all or nothing. I am screwed and crying and nervous and I just don't know what to do. If anyone could help me out or just give their 2cents I would really appreciate it. I know this might now be at the top of everyone's priorities right now as the world seems to be kinda falling apart and all the delicious click bait is calling but right now my world is falling apart. Please help. | I dun goofed and my dad might switch me schools. I don't want that to happen so how would I convince him not to? |
t3_4eh3jy | personalfinance | Creditor says they are unable to remove past reports for delinquent payment? | I have a student loan account that I recently closed (by consolidating). There is a delinquent payment credit report on it I'm trying to remove - I would have been eligible for a deferral at the time, but didn't know the loan was due (I had just started grad school).
I asked for the report to be removed, and the creditor (ACS) told me that they cannot remove the report because it was accurate and federal law prohibits them from removing it. That doesn't jive with my understanding that you can often pay for delete on credit reports. Thoughts? I have asked for a retroactive deferral, no response yet.
Their letter here:
We are required under FCRA (Fair Credit Reporting Act) to truthfully report your loan status to the credit bureaus. That includes reporting any months that the account was delinquent. We are unable to remove derogatory information unless a valid condition existed at the time the delinquency occurred such as a deferment, forbearance or a payment received. Our records do not show that a deferment or forbearance was requested nor was a payment received to prevent the reporting.
Per Federal Regulations, we are obligated to report delinquent accounts to the National Credit Bureaus once the account becomes 60 days or more past due.
We would like to confirm that your account status is reported to the credit bureau each month. The report(s) that was made to the credit agency was valid we are unable to remove it. | creditor refuses to remove delinquent report to credit bureaus on the grounds that the Fair Credit Reporting Act prohibits them from doing that. Account is already closed and paid off. |
t3_1kzcxb | pettyrevenge | Don't have a fake persona. | First, a few things to know about this revenge:
- It was completely by accident
- It happened 2 years ago
- It's a repost from one of my comments
- Any names have been changed
Prom: One of our friends invited her friend, Ashley, who invited a few of her friends, to our hotel room on prom. My friends and I already knew Ashley, but had no idea who the people were that she brought with her. One guy, had an English accent and had this whole story about how he's actually from England. We went with it and enjoyed the night because, why would he lie about that?
Fast forward a few months. I'm seeing this girl that has lived here(Quebec) her whole life. When she mentions her brother, I thought the name (coupled with her last name) sounded familiar. I didn't think anything of it as the first and last names are fairly popular.
One night, at her house, we're getting a bit hot and heavy and we think we here someone coming. We scatter and get all of our clothes back on as quietly as possible. Her brother, who I haven't met at this point yet, is standing in the kitchen, back towards me. We could tell he heard and go back in her room out of embarrassment.
A few hours pass and her mother comes home and makes us supper. We go out to the kitchen to eat. The mother shouts at the brother (who is in his room at the moment) to come out and eat. He exits, I see his face. Who is it, but mister Suave English Guy from prom. I wasn't a 100% sure, but I asked him. He pretended to have no idea what I was talking about and seemed kind of hostile. May have had something to do with the fact I'm a stranger who just made him hear his sister's sex sounds.
That was the only time I ever talked to him as, the girl and I only stayed together ~1 month. She confirmed that it was definitely him. (He was on prom the same day, at the same hotel, with those people, and he apparently likes to pull that trick with anyone new) | French guy at prom pretends he's English. I accidentally find out where he lives and make him hear me fucking his sister. |
t3_2ql5ri | relationships | Me (33m) tired of being bad guy to my (31f) family | Last year around November my current girlfriend broke up with me for another man. I moved across the country for a new job. We talked and recognized we both made mistaken and owned up to them to each other.
We got back together about 4 months ago and have been making vast improvements in where we went wrong the first time. We communicate on a whole new level, are more considerate of each other's feelings and the love has come back.
I'm in town for the holidays and her sister, we'll call her (B), is home from college. This was our first contact since our split. I suggested to my girlfriend we have a Christmas at her house to include B. Everything went fine, she thanked me me for the present I got her and we even joked with each other a bit.
Then B made a comment about how I ditched her sister (my gf) and it struck a nerve. For the past year I have been trying my hardest not to let comments like these get a reaction out of me. Everyone in her family is under the assumption I broke up with her, which naturally evokes a bit of dislike for someone. Unfortunately, my gf for some reason can't or won't be honest with them about what actually occurred. I've been biting my tongue and now I'm tired of it.
Do I need to just tighten my belt tighter and stop whining or do I have a right to feel upset? | gf dumped me last year, she told her family I dumped her, have been playing the bad guy for her sake. |
t3_1cvk9f | Advice | Hi everyone, how do you usually talk to people that already know each other? | I recently joined a club at college and they're fairly nice people but I feel like they all know each other already. Not just that, but they know OTHER people which helps them keep conversations going. I want to hop and talk to some of the people but I don't feel like I have anything to relate with them. I'll also try to talk to people who are just standing around and killing time but they don't usually respond which is odd. I suppose they're more of a quiet type of people.
Well there's this one guy in the group that already knows everyone but he's usually just chilling out alone and if he's not alone, he walks over to someone who isn't talking to anyone and talks to them. They usually give him the same response they give me, a smile or one response and then they go off and do something else. I try approaching this guy but he just laughs at a joke that I tell him and again, like other people in the club, stops talking after that.
I can't help but feel like it's a bit elitist. I mean, you'd think that they would want to socialize and talk to someone who looks like they're not doing anything/is alone. I usually socialize with people just fine but I find this group a bit difficult to work with. One girl in the group does try to talk to me but she's running everything so she's always busy.
It could be possible that these are just not the type of people I'd hang out with. So it's awkward being in a club with them. Then again, sometimes when I'm talking to them in a smaller group, it feels natural and mellow. But when the groups gets larger and people start seeing people they already know, they opt to talk to them and not me. I can't help but feel left out. | Met some new people in club on campus. They already know each other and have mutual friends, how do I fit in and talk to them?* |
t3_1r7enk | relationships | I (F 21) been with fiance for 3.5 years (M 21) | Long, and you guys are going to hate me...
I've been heavily flirting with a 35 year old married man with kids... A lot of older men hit on me at work, but me and this guy Ric have really been flitrting... like touching one another and hugging.
I've told my fiance all of this, and I'm trying to leave Ric alone, but yesterday we went particularly over the line
I'm beginning to feel that I'm not sexually attracted to my fiance anymore. And I'm so sexually attracted to Ric. So my questions are as follows:
Should I leave my fiance?
I really don't want to, he's my best friend, and I want to be around him all the time.
I'm so confused, and I know my fiance deserves better, he just doesn't want to leave me, and I don't want that. Keep in mind at this point I don't want any kid of relationship with Ric. I'm a horrible person, please help. | I'm confused if I should stay with my fiance or not. He's my best friend, but I don't know if I'm sexually attracted to him anymore. Plus I've been kind of falling for an older man. |
t3_3cbaop | relationships | Me [25 M] with my on and off again hippy girlfriend. [25 F] Just need help dealing with these feelings. | She is the one that got away. The connection we had is fading. I knew she would be in Chicago this weekend. I was afraid to ask. But I was right, she was with another guy. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever known, inside and out. She is light. She brings goodness out of everyone she meets. She glows. And she deserves to be happy, even if that isn't with me. I'm just so tired of the loneliness. I know I messed up, more than once, but I still can't blame myself for everything that's happened. I tried. I told her so many times how I feel. I just wish she would have grabbed me. Told me. Looked me in the eyes and laid it all out, for once. I'm writing this from a place of peace (or something like that). I don't have anyone else to express these feelings to. She won't ever understand and neither will anyone else. Everyone thinks I'm an asshole and that's ok with me. It still hurts to know some other guy was holding her while they watched the final Grateful Dead | I messed up and she is gone. No one knows how I feel. How do I maintain a positive outlook and keep going? |
t3_4trsmt | relationships | I [30F] don't know how to rekindle sex with my boyfriend [36M] of 2 and 1/2 years because we've become like friends, and I don't know how to get past that. Can anyone help? | We've been together for 2 and 1/2 years, living together for 2. He has never seemed very sexually active, but now we have zero sex. We really get along and goof off, and I'm afraid we've become more like best friends or brother/sister.
I don't want a little buddy, I want a boyfriend! It's gotten so awkward to try to initiate sex because there's always some giggle or joke and I can't find a time when there's enough seriousness to intitiate sex!
I don't know what to do. He tries at really bad times (right before I have to leave the house, for instance) so I've said 'no' to sex a few times. That doesn't mean I don't want it later, when I get back from work.
I don't think he's cheating, so I don't want advice on getting a PI on him. I just need to know how to break through this weird "we're such great pals!" section of our relationship. Heeelp. | My boyfriend and I have become great pals, but I want a sexual relationship. How do I get us from BFFs back to lovers? |
t3_pohxt | loseit | I'd like to show you my before and after, if you don't mind :) | [Me holding my license] (picture taken today)
The smaller picture was around 2009 (weight loss didn't start until late 2010/early 2011), bigger picture is Dec 2011 [photo]
How it started: I got hardcore dumped and lost about 15 pounds from the initial depression. That little bit of weight gone made me feel a little better, so I started doing light exercise (as much as a depressed person can muster), all the while analyzing the things I was eating and why I at them. During my "down time" I finally realized that I was not only an emotional eater, but a comfort, boredom, "I'll eat it cause it's there" eater. For at least 5 months, I didn't touch sugar and barely bready foods. The less depressed I became, the harder I worked out until I was at -60lbs. When I got back to school (after leaving for a semester because of the depression), I hit the gym hard. I think by that time my metabolism had "reset" so the rest of the weight was easy to lose. I rarely eat when I'm not hungry and I started doing the Insanity workout (I'm in the 2nd week of the 2nd month). | Depression pushed me into body enlightenment and changed how I ate and thought. Started working out. Lost butt ton of weight from Jan 2011 to Dec 2011. Started Insanity in January. |
t3_3wj9p5 | relationships | Me [20M] with [20F] who's afraid I'll have sex then leave. | Hey reddit. I've been seeing this girl for 3 months. We have met 7 times and everytime we meet we are reallpassionate towards one another. We have yet to have sex with each other. Last time we hung out, we talked about our sexual fantasies and where we would be having sex next time. She mentioned her fear of me having sex wjth her then leaving her. I promised that would never happen and really couldn't believe this. She also said I would get bored of her. She's been with a lot of guys and they have all dumped her, I want her to see that I am different. I really lile this girl and know in my heart that I really want to be with her and her only. She always mentiomed wanting to get serious with me. The 6th time I met her, she said things like "baby step" and "it takes time" and " I want to take the timr to treat you the way you deserve" . She mentioned that last line again when I saw her the 7th time. I should also mention that her parent had passed away not even 2 months ago. So she alluded to that when I asked to get serious. She also said the last time I saw her that she really wanted to have sex with me and such, but next time. We also connected very well personally the last time I saw her. My question is how can I stress to her I would never leave her after sex without seeming desperate? Should I also mention to her that my heart wants her and no one else and that I deeply care about her? | Girl thinks I'll dump her or get bored after havimg sex with her, don't know how to stress I wouldn't without seeming desperate. She has been with a lot of guys and needs to know I am different. |
t3_4t28qn | relationships | Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [22/M] Have been together for a year , he aggravates me and I don't think I can trust him | Over the last 4 months ish, i have been getting really annoyed very easily by him, we fight once a week , and he tries to tell me who i can and cant hang out with. We have lived together since we first started dating, he refuses to see my family or even make an effort to want to forge a relationship with them when i always go see his with him. My family and friends really don't like him at all. The thought of breaking up has crossed my mind but when i think about it my heart just drops, i love him but its getting really hard to be in a relationship with him.
Not just because he doesn't like my family there is some other issues too. He used to live with this one girl before he met me and they were "just friends" but their families thought they were dating. They did have sex a couple times and once we got into a relationship he continued to be best friends with her and talks to her everyday and she travels to see him and they go on cruises and she buys him expensive things for his birthday and it just makes me worried, i just don't know if i trust him, he never lets me see his phone or his computer for some reason and when i do have his phone he is over my shoulder and wont let me look at his pictures or anything like that. i'm not even aloud to open his snap chats from this girl he is best friends with. | Any advice on how to go about this? We Spend so much time together its so hard to not get annoyed. Especially when our apartment is the size of a normal persons living room. |
t3_t2lgb | AskReddit | Please Listen Reddit: I'm a middle child, and often forgotten in my family. Anyone else feel the way I feel? | I'm in my late teens now and I still live with my parents. I have two other siblings. As the title says, I'm the middle. It has taken me all these years to finally realize that I'm barely so to speak "important" in my family. I hate to feel like I'm crying out for attention, but it feels like my whole life has been spent doing just that.
***As a side note, the reason I began to contemplate this all is because my friend came over to my house. The next day, he tells me I'm such a middle child. So i begin to think... what the heck does he mean***
Everywhere my whole family goes, I'm the last one to speak in a conversation. My contributions to conversations are either laughed at, frowned upon, or just forgotten instantly. It seems like no one ever genuinely listens to me. I've been realizing this (for the past few months) and I'm seriously tired of it. I've always been kind of a loner, not only in society, but in my family. It kills me.
As an example, my family was eating at a restaurant recently (mind you, I always sit in the corner of a booth, the outside, or at another, close table) and the topic of current music today comes up. So as a musician, I feel obligated and urged to speak my mind. The words that came out of my mouth were instantly interrupted. I literally tried to speak three or four times before any one would listen to me. And even when they did, they carried on with their own side of the story, not even minding what I had just said. | just now realizing I'm the picture perfect middle child (ignored and dying for attention), and I'm pissed. |
t3_t60f4 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the weirdest dream you've ever had? | I had just woken up from a dream in which Kanye West was trying to gun me down. He was armed with a Super Mario mushroom style musket and was wearing a fur coat. By the end of the dream-because of my tricky escape tactics; he was so enraged he transformed into a giant Kumiho which according to Chinese legend is a fox with 9 tales(lernt that an hour before I napped). Soon after the transformation a SWAT team was called in. He was shot down while I was in the line of fire(don't think I got hit) and then I woke up.
What's the weirdest dream you've ever had? | I was hunted by Kanye West. He transformed into a giant Pokemon. A swat team was called in and took him out |
t3_1q0yed | Pets | Reddit Veterinarians! Our Bernese Mountain Dog needs your help! | Thank you for clicking and caring! We recently left our 3.5 year-old Berner for a week at PetSmart while we visited family. He goes there all the time for day care and has stayed there overnight 3-4 days before, but this is the longest he has ever boarded. As soon as he came home on Sunday 11/3 he began vomiting water up. Monday AM 11/4 he refused to eat (VERY unlike him - he lives for food... I can't stress that enough) and every time he drinks even a little - 4 ice cubes and 4-5 oz of water - he vomits everywhere. The vomit is usually yellow. We called PetSmart and they said to keep an eye on him and not worry. Tuesday 11/5 (yesterday) he was doing the same thing and becoming lethargic, so we took him to the vet. She did an Xray to see if there was anything blocking or any inflammation, everything's good. Due to limited funding, we did the xray instead of blood work per the doctors advice that she would still treat the symptoms without blood work. Gave him a Liter of fluid under the skin, anti-nausea shot, and a few antibiotics in case of GI issues (which he can't eat... because he won't eat...). Last night he was keeping down some water and was a little more alert. Today 11/6 in the middle of the night he vomited three more times, still won't eat, and we're still out of money.
I believe he is very upset about being boarded (he is a VERY emotional dog), but we are worried he will die before we can get enough money to help him.
Some helpful information:
His last check up before this was about 5 months ago, and he was great, is up to date on all his shots, etc.
He has no history, besides some food allergies and we ruled that out already.
He never eats foreign bodies.
His records indicate he did very well in boarding and ate Sunday morning great, no vomiting, and no diarrhea his entire stay at boarding. | Our 3.5 Year old Berner came home from boarding for a week and won't eat (highly unusual), vomits up any amount of water he drinks and a trip to the vet didn't help much. |
t3_3t8p3n | relationships | Me [25M] with my GF [26F] 4yrs, how do I help her lose weight | So my GF has been overweight since dating. Around 60lbs overweight (obese). Pretty much our entire relationship she has always wanted to lose weight. I'm pretty fit, workout daily and eat well, so she sometimes asks my advice and for my help.
So I give her the standard stuff, and basically have to dispel some of the myths she believes. "It's just calories in/out. Calculate TDEE etc." "You can't spot-burn fat" "You won't lose weight with just exercise - you have to eat less"
Now I don't mind helping her, but she never really seems to take my advice. I'm definitely not just offering this out of the blue - she asks me for it. But then months later she'll make comments like "I did a leg machine to tone down my thighs" and I just keep repeating myself about spot-burning fat. It gets tiring.
She keeps talking about losing weight, used MyFitnessPal for a while but stopped, belongs to a gym and goes somewhat consistently. But still has not lost weight. I'm pretty sure she must be eating junk that I don't know about, because her dinners always sound healthy to me. But I'm not going to be nosy and interrogate her about her eating, b/c it's none of my business.
What adds to the frustration is being on the receiving end of her vents about being fat, etc. I don't mind listening to her and consoling her, but it's really frustrating when I try to help her achieve her goals and she doesn't listen to me.
I want to help her lose weight but on the other hand, I feel that it might just be something I can do nothing about. On some level, it is completely out of my hands and up to her. It seems like she wants to lose weight badly, but yet lacks the discipline to do it. This thought kind of turns me away from her and worries me that she has these character traits. And I don't know if it's a fair assessment or not, so I feel judgmental when I think along these lines.
Any advice for someone in my position? | GF wants to lose weight for years. Asks for my advice, but doesn't listen. Isn't losing weight at all (if anything gained a little). I want to help but also getting frustrated. |
t3_168fal | relationships | Am I f(20) being used emotionally by m(25)? | So I'll start by saying I've known this individual for about four years. He was my long term ex-boyfriend's close friend during the duration of our relationship(3.5 years). Since I split with my ex-boyfriend a year ago I have maintained contact with his once close friend through text. Overtime our conversation became more intimate regarding each other's life situations. In turn he told me about how empty and unhappy he is with his current relationship of less than a year. To which I provided the best advice I could for him. Eventually I realized while talking to him that I had developed feelings for him. One day after a couple failed attempts to see him in person I decided to be blunt with him about how I felt. He reciprocated my feelings and due to his situation we decided to stay friends for now and see where things go. Despite what he's told me he has made an attempt to hookup with me on a night when his girlfriend was out of town. To which I told him I wouldn't just sleep with him while he's in a relationship with another girl. I get this lingering feeling that I'm being used as a backup to his current girlfriend versus someone he'd rather be with instead. So my question to everyone is am I being pulled around emotionally while he gets the benefits of both worlds? | Admitted feelings to a friend that is in an unsatisfying relationship and decided to be "friends for now". Keep having a lingering feeling that I'm being used as a backup girl versus being someone that is worth being with at all. |
t3_3xm4r7 | relationships | Me [21 M] broke up about 2 months ago with my GF [21 F] of 3 years. I'm a mess ever since. | So me and my GF had a relationship for more than 3 years.
It was good but sadly we kinda grew apart.
Just 2 months ago after an (again) heated argument we decided to end it in a friendly way. We wanted to be friends in the end.
But we both knew that a little radio silence (no talking and texting) would be good.
In those 2 months I partied and drank more than I did in my first year at college. I was a mess, skipping the gym and practice (what I love) also classes (cause when you're home at 06.30 class at 08.30 is impossible). But hey I was having fun.
Now, two months later, I'm studying for finals (and no more parties).
But I can't get her out of my head.
I already tried to contact her and gently tried to meet but she's busy with finals she says (maybe she doesn't want to).
I don't know maybe I want some closure.
I know that breaking up with her was good (for her and me).
But man, it seems to get harder for me day by day.
I can't focus on studying. It's like I was running away from my feelings during those two months.
Do you guys have any tips on getting over her?
Or just coping with it?
I still love her and want the best for her.
It's like I'm missing her more everyday.
Talked about it with my friends a lot but nothing seems to stop this empty feeling/ the feeling of missing her. | Broke up with GF of 3y, mess ever since, can't get her out of my head, can't focus on studying for finals |
t3_2pluhn | relationships | Me (f21) and my SO (m21) of 3 years refuses to have his phone on when going out to a bar | I'm going home for the holidays and my SO is staying in our city for a few days after I leave. He's going out with his friend the day I leave to some bar and has told me that the night is going to be "legendary" and won't tell me what he is doing other than "guy things" and getting really drunk. Obviously this all pisses me off on its own...
He's asked me not to text him at all while he's doing this. I think that's unfair because if he's going to be doing stupid shit like it seems, I feel like I should be able to check on him and make sure he's still alive and made it home safe, etc. Not calling or anything, just checking in, as I usually do when he goes out. He always gets so mad when I do this though, but I just worry when he doesn't answer for like 8 hours and I haven't heard a thing from him. I don't think my request is unreasonable, especially when I said that I don't expect answers right away, just a text or two a night.
Anyways, now he said that he understands this is wrong, but given that I've been upset with him for doing this a couple times in the past, he will just turn the phone off all night. I'll admit, early in our relationship I was too clingy and was kind of bitchy and annoying with him being out, but I've seen my errors and corrected them, only texting maybe twice to ask what they're up to or if he needs a ride.
I don't know if I'm wrong here or if he is, so I would appreciate any other opinions. | SO has decided it's okay to turn his phone off for the night when going out and refuses to check in with me and won't tell me what he's doing. |
t3_1q9d2b | relationships | [20 M] with my [21 F] took things too fast and now she has doubts. | So me and my girlfriend have been going out for two months and we hung out everyday for those two months and took things pretty fast. I met her family and she met mine, we included each other in most of our activities, and we started saying that we loved each other to early (rookie mistake).
Maybe i don't love her but i felt something i never felt with others before like the idea that she could be the one because we work so perfectly together. A few days ago she said something was really bothering her about our relationship and she didnt know what it was.
I gave her 3 days to think it over and she realized that she started feeling trapped. We talked about it and how it comes from her mom divorcing her dad at an early age realizing he was not the one and how my gf did not want to repeat that mistake.
She told me that she still cares for me and wants to keep this relationship going but that she has doubts like what if she meets someone when she goes off to her university in a year and she messed it up by staying in a relationship with me. Is it normal to have these doubts? | Me and gf took things too fast, gf feels trapped and has small doubts but still cares for me. Is it normal? |
t3_yftws | Advice | My girlfriend just left for college to a neighboring state for 5 years | I'll make this as short as I can...Basically, I've been dating this girl for 8 months (as of today, actually) and she is probably the best thing to happen to me. I love everything about her and we get along so well, and have quite an awesome relationship. Thing is, a couple days ago she went off to college at the University of Arizona (we live in SoCal) and will be there for 5 years in an architecture program she got a large scholarship for. She got accepted to my school in socal but couldn't afford to come. She's coming home on all her breaks and I intend to visit her frequently,but.... I just feel this sad kind of feeling. We intend to make the long-distance thing work(and I think it will), but I guess what I'm asking for is just some LDR advice. What to do to help. I will graduate two years before her, but I don't really want to move to AZ for 2 years....ugh. I think we will work well still, I would just appreciate some tips :) thank you so much! | My girlfriend of 8 months who I have a great relationship with is moving to AZ for 5 years for school. Long distance advice? |
t3_1apiqr | BreakUps | My (18) ex-boyfriend (20) of over a year broke up a couple weeks ago. How do I go about being friends? | For the record I definitely feel quite badly about the breakup, especially since he was my first love. Although it was mutual, he was more of the one that did the breaking up. We both felt our relationship had gone stale-- not that we were fighting, but we just stopped making each other happy. He stopped calling/ reaching out to me as often and I felt I was giving too much in the first place and wasn't getting much back. We haven't spoken since the break up, and I still feel horrible about it. But I miss him a lot and the way our friendship used to be. How do I go about being friends? It was a long distance relationship in the first place (which I know never works out) but we used to see each other during the summer/ school breaks (such as spring, christmas, or thanksgiving breaks). Is it even worth it to be friends at this point? My worst fear is that he doesn't want to talk to me or that I would reach out and he would say he doesn't want me to be a part of his life. | Ex-boyfriend of a year and a half and I broke up because we were no longer happy together but we had a great friendship at some point before it went stale; is it worth it to stay friends and how? |
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