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t3_3mdr36 | relationships | Had a fight with my [28M] girlfriend[26F] of 2 years, I am not sure what to do. | I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start by giving you a little background info. So, my ex-girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. 2 months ago, we moved into an apartment together. After about a week, we started arguing. After about a month, it turned into physical abuse. She would start hitting me, screaming at me, and I couldn't do anything about it.
Last night, I decided I have had enough. I packed all my things, and tried to leave. She stepped in front of the door, knife in hand, blocking the only exit. I was scared shitless, I was crying, I was screaming, I thought I has going to die. I don't know what came over me, but I shoved her out of the way with all my strength, and ran out of the apartment. I got into my car, and drove away.
She called me this morning, saying how she broke her ankle after I pushed her, and how she is 'sorry'. I am scared, what if she calls the cops on me? What if she sues me? It is basically her word against mine. I'm currently seeking refuge at a friends house.
Please help me, Reddit. | Had a fight with my girlfriend. She pulled a knife on me, I pushed her and she broke her ankle, now I'm not sure what to do. |
t3_28hbix | relationships | I [18M] have wierd dreams about old friend [18F] making me question feelings for girlfriend [18F] | I was super close with this friend until 1yr ago when I started dating my girlfriend. This friend and I went to the same school and we hung out alot on breaks and got together on weekends to party. 1-2 months before I started dating my current girlfriend we started having moments that almost led up to kisses but I always pulled away because I was too insecure and was afraid of her just going "wtf you doing mate" if I kissed her. However she started wanting more hugs and noticebly longer ones from me than anyone else.
But nothing ever really happend and then this girl I'd known for 5 yrs (had my biggest cursh ever on her for the first 3yrs) and went to another school told me she wanted to try dating because we had been close before and now she felt that we were both in the a place where we could try a relationship. And I was super happy and we've been together since.
The problem is however I have had dreams (maybe once a month or less definetly not more) where I meet this friend (we don't see each almost at all since we live far apart and we finished school a few months ago.) at a party and the kiss happens and we get together. The day after these dreams I find myself missing her and thinking about her constantly. They have only happend (so far) when I've been apart from my girlfriend a few days. | Romantic dreams about a old friend makes me question my feelings (which are incredbliy strong otherwise) for my girlfriend. Does this happen to anyone else? Is it just hormones ( I hit puberty super late)? |
t3_1xxmy7 | relationships | My[21 GF] Got gifts from her Ex BF today and I'm(24M) upset about it | Girlfriend and I have been exclusive for about 6 months and the relationship has truly been great, we have our fights now and then but get over them.
Today she gets a package in the mail from her Ex(21). It included flowers, chocolates, a giant stuffed teddy bear, a sweatshirt and even some underwear.
I know she talks to him and texts him everyday but I never seemed bothered by it. She says they are just friends, but what friends send that stuff to each other. I may think more stuff is going on but I honestly have no proof of it.
Im making a huge deal out of this? Am I overreacting? | GF got package from Ex BF, it included underwear. She talks to him everyday. I'm upset and might break up with her. Am I overreacting?? |
t3_1szfal | relationships | x-post - I'[m32] in doubt about [m27]y future with my partner. Need your advice guys. | Posted in /r/relationship_advice and someone suggested I share on here.
Really nervous writing this. I feel like we've been drifting apart. It started when he said he wanted kids. I have a daughter from a previous heterosexual relationship and don't want to start over. I was really young and still catching up to my peers professionally.
It wouldn't be fair to either of us if one of us didn't get the outcome we want so we both admitted we may not have a future. We were sad. He has since changed his mind but I don't know if that's permanent. I was always clear I had my plate full as a parent and wouldn't want to have another one.
It's not just that issue. I don't have the incredible electric sexual attraction I've had with past boyfriends, but I've enjoyed all the other things those lovers never gave me - a wonderful family around us, a home together, sex free of fear of stds, company, fun and all that. I just don't feel like I want to have sex with him every chance I get. That's unusual for me. Is this normal? Is it possible to have a great love who also drives you wild all the time?
I've also never brought him to orgasm with my own hands. He always has to finish himself or he starts going soft. I also recently lost my erection mid act. For the FIRST time ever.
The fact I'm writing this tells me I'm delaying the inevitable. Is it over for us? | 5 year m/m relationship. Feeling unsure about whether to end it. My sexual, emotional and intellectual needs are not being met. Should I try harder? |
t3_2p7flz | relationships | I [19M] am having issues understanding my new "friend" [18F] (repost first was glitched) | So I met this girl on tinder....
I know that sounds like an awful start to one of these posts, but this is a legit post. I met this girl on tinder about a week back and we hit it off rather quickly. We hung out once and found out we had a lot in common, and she's incredibly pretty. She somehow also still thinks the same of me (but I'm a guy so insert guy adjective here, charming, cute, whatever). We text on a day to day basis, but she takes FOREVER to respond. We're talking an hour 2 hours between each text. Even when she's at work or not busy (her work is usually slow). I'm also always the one to initiate the conversation. If I don't, she won't text me. It confuses me, because she says things like, "You're amazing." and "You're a gem." (whatever the fuck that means). I'm pretty new to dating and my first two actual girlfriends both cheated on me, were distant, and ended up getting back together with their exes. My question to you reddit, is am I being over analytical because of my relationship past history, or is she just not interested? If you have any advice, that would be nice to know! Thanks guys! | I met a girl, she says I'm cool interesting etc. but doesn't behave like it. I have a bad dating history after only 2 years of doing it. HELP! |
t3_2xdgpi | tifu | TIFU By waking up late, blowing a snot rocket in the shower and rushing to work. | Woke up about 40 minutes later than I notmally do. I rushed up and got right in the shower. I've had a cold lately so I'm really stuffed up. This is where my fuck up begins.
I blow a huge snot rocket in the shower. In the winter like many men start to grow a beard. Well, being late and all I rush to the car grabbing my tooth brush for the road, knowing I have a 9:00 am meeting.
I show up at 9:10ish, already looking like an asshole. I sit down in a room of 11 people, sitting next to my co worker/friend. He said to me in what he thought was a whisper "what happened to your face? Did your boyfriend blow a load in your beard?". As I said it was what he thought was a whisper.... About 3-4 of us heard it at the corner of our table.... Huge commotion. I look like a dick.
I get up go to the bathroom and there's huge load looking snot in my beard. Not the best start to the day.... But hey, at least it's friday...... | fucked up by blowing a snot rocket in the shower and letting it dry all in my beard and showing up to a meeting. |
t3_3vpu9l | relationships | My dad [40M] found out I [18F] call my boyfriend [19M] daddy. Now he can't look me in the eye. | This whole thing is incredibly embarrassing. This is my first post on reddit (long time lurker) and I'm not the best at grammar or story telling so please forgive me.
My dad and I have always had an amazingly close relationship. My mom died when I was young, so it was just me, him, and my uncle. I knew if I had a problem I could always come to my dad. Even when I wasn't a little girl anymore, I called him daddy. He was always affectionate, meaning he'd kiss my temple or put his arm around my shoulders or play with my hair when we would watch a movie.
Now, I don't really know how to explain the situation with my boyfriend. In short, he likes it when I call him daddy. I wouldn't call it BD/SM or anything like that, because otherwise we're very vanilla. When I call my boyfriend daddy, it is by no means has the same meaning as it would for my dad. I know how to differentiate. That's all I can really say.
As you can imagine, my dad was more than a little taken aback to see someone named Daddy texting me. He was deeply confused and demanded to know what it meant. I stumbled on my words and nearly sobbed as I explained everything to him. He was quiet the rest of the ride and didn't really say much at dinner.
This was a week ago and I can still tell my dad is upset. He hasn't been affectionate like he used to and he isn't as talkative either (he used to talk my ear off). He's been spending most of his time working on his car in the garage.
I want to fix this because my dad is the only one I've got and most daughters would kill for the relationship we have, but I can see that whats happened as really cut him deep. I don't know where I could even begin to fix this. | Dad found out I call boyfriend daddy, now he's acting different. What can I do to fix things between us? |
t3_2ogs3g | tifu | TIFU by ordering a hookah to my house | this happened Friday
I had ordered a hookah off of eBay for 1$ on the first of December and it got here Friday so I was hanging out with my friends excited because it was coming today when I saw the UPS man drive by so me and my friends started going to my house to get it before my parents got the package since they were home, well I was too late they got the package opened it and saw what it was (luckily I ordered it in a fake name.) as soon as i saw that the ups man already dropped it off I got this horrible feeling like the one you get when you go on a big roller coaster for a first time when your a kid and your terrified, so I sneak inside see that it is opened I grab the case it came in with it inside and run like hell was upon me around an hour later I hear my parents yelling my name outside, and I remember that I was going to my grandmother's birthday party at OCharley's so I went home and said nothing just went straight to the shower, when we left it felt like an eternity in the car even though it was only 35 minutes it felt like it would never end they still don't know where the package went but they are very suspicious now. | ordered 1$ hookah on eBay in a fake name, parents saw it, ran like hell, went to OCharley's could feel the tension in the air. |
t3_3ihs3d | relationships | Me [24 F] dating a [21 M] short guy. I'm really bothered over his height. | He's kind, he's intelligent, he's good looking, and most importantly he's crazy in love with me. In other words, he's perfect. Only problem is that I feel HUGE beside him :( He's 5"2 while I'm 5"6.
I just want to be able to grab his arm, lean against him, rest my head on him shoulder, and have him put his arms around me...
Sometimes I'll do that with my gay best friend and it just feels so good. I feel so secure having someone that I'm able to lean on. Sadly he never reciprocates by putting his arm around me. Then again it's probably a good thing, otherwise I'd fall in love with him.
But it just doesn't feel natural when I do that with my boyfriend. He's way too short for me to rest my head on his shoulder without slanting my neck into a terribly awkward position. Even if I do manage to find a way to do it, it just feels so forced...like I know I'm way too big to do that but yet I'm still trying to fool myself.
He often asks me what's wrong about him that I don't find attractive enough, and I refuse to tell him because I think it'd be too hurtful as it's not something that he can change about himself.
He's perfect, but he feels too small. I'm trying so hard to overcome it, but I'm just craving for that feeling of being able to lean on someone's shoulder. I hate myself for actually considering tossing away such a perfect guy over something so minor.
Help. :( | Met the guy of my dreams. My brain wants him around for the rest of my life. My heart wants to toss him away because he's too short. |
t3_2ut6tc | tifu | TIFU by saying the wrong words to a woman | One evening last summer I was in my backyard building a garden box against the neighbor's fence. I don't have a fence except for that one side, and I was working at the back corner of the yard next to the neighbor's fence, so anyone in the back lane directly behind my yard could see me, but if they walked past it far enough, the fence would block our line of sight.
I was facing the fence and pondering a problem in my project when I heard someone walking down the back alley towards me. I was deep in thought and kind of absent-mindedly leaned out into the alley a bit to see who it was. As my attention gradually turned from my project to the person, I realized it was a woman who had stopped dead in her tracks, and was staring at me, petrified.
My mind rushed to figure out what had happened. It was dusk. This woman, who looked like she had seen some shit in her life, was walking down a back alley in a not-great neighborhood. I had slowly and creepily leaned out from behind a fence to stare at her. It's not normal to be standing face-first against a fence to begin with, unless you're planning on abducting people who pass that fence.
Wanting to ease her mind as quickly as possible I stammered out, "It's okay, I'm working on a project."
She was now backing away from me. I realized that "a project" is pretty vague, and could potentially involve sewing together the skin of multiple women into a coat.
Wanting to let her know that the project was actually building something, which could explain why I was up against a fence, I quickly looked for some proof. My tools were on the ground, so the closest thing was a 2x4 that I had leaning up against the fence. I grabbed it, and said...
"I have wood."
I was mad at my scumbag brain immediately. I shit you not, those are the words I came up with to explain why I was lurking on the other side of a backlane fence. | Massively creeped out and frightened a woman in my backlane by leaning out from behind a fence and telling her that I have wood. |
t3_50d237 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my date [32 M] showed up at work after the first date. How crazy was that? | I'm relatively new in the dating game because i had to deal with some serious social phobia issues in the past and i had to deal with them before i could deal with any romantic interests.
I had met this guy online and had a date with him.
We watched a movie together, cuddled, kissed and had a fun night together.
So far no problem.
In the evening we talked a bit about our jobs and because he is doing basically the same job as i do he immediately knew where i work because of our work areas.
So far no problem.
The next day we texted a bit, he wanted to met up again today after work but i was too tired and politefully declined.
I switched my phone off. Switched my phone off and finished my shift.
I went outside, put my earplugs in and went a few Metres after my suddenly my date from yesterday was standing in front of me.
He happily greeted me and wanted to hug and i just had sudden panic, i asked why he was here and he said he texted about maybe just meeting shortly after since he was driving home and passing my work on the way.
I just didn't knew what to say and just said i want to go home alone and went.
After that i checked my phone and he indeed was messaging me this, and then he sent me a few messages about how sorry he was and he thought that would be no issue and i would be glad.
Right know i'm just completely freaked out, is this normal? I really liked him yesterday but this just completely invaded my private space. Am i just completely overreacting because of my past of social phobia?
I just need some 3rd person input right now. | Me [26 M] with my date [32 M] showed up at work after the first date. How crazy was that? |
t3_3dvqq4 | relationships | Me [17M] with my girlfriend [19F] 5 years of love, She is losing her love to me, Is it the age or the distance or what? | We started our story back in 2010, actually I started the story by writing a letter to her in 2010.. my family moved to another country before I know her reaction/feelings about what I wrote.. after one year we came back home and we met, she told me that we are young for all this love-thing.. so I accepted her opinion and forgot about her.. one week later she changed her mind and she said that she loves me back
We keep traveling every year for my father's work conditions, and my girl and I could only meet each other for one month every year.. of course the long distance decreases both of our feelings.
For the past two years I went back home to study there so we've met a lot.. and we talked a lot.
Several times she brought up the age problem as a not serious topic or a joke.. but one time she was serious about it.. she said: I know your mind is bigger than your age.. but I still see you as a child.. ( It damn hurts, because I think feelings is the only thing that matters in love).
The age problem is even more serious recently because she is finishing her 1st year in college, and I will start college after 3 months.. she met the guys there and she formed some good relationships with both genders, I'm ok with that, but in this April I traveled with my family, and for the first time we start texting on What's-app, so I noticed she is not engaging that much in our conversation.. she gives short answers, she doesn't bring new topics "when she can" also she rarely expresses her love for me
I started to think she lost her interest on me.. because I'm not really attractive, the age is a turn off to her.. and the distance is making it even worse. So I asked her one time: If we go back in time.. would you fall in love with me again?" .. she said: "No.. It had nothing to do with you, but the circumstances"..... now you judge | Maybe you view it as an obvious situation, but I'm really confused.. and it's hard to lose her because I really love her. |
t3_4nl6iz | relationships | Am I(27F) out of line for wanting my boyfriend(27M) of two years to get rid of his snakes? | throwaway because reasons
Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years, and he has had his two pet snakes for about 6 and 4 years.
So some background on him. He's always been an animal lover but his parents restricted him on his pet ownership (I think they let him have a fish and the family dogs). He currently works as a vet tech. So after he finished college he moved into his current apartment, and I guess as a symbol of his newfound freedom he bought his first snake Koga the corn snake. He has a bunch of pictures of when he brought him home and when he was only a couple inches long(this snake is now 4 1/2 feet for context). So two years go by and one day while he's at work a man comes in with a cardboard with a badly injured ball python inside. The man had fed it live rats and one attacked the snake giving it a lot of bites and scratches. The snake was hurt but savable, but the guy didn't want to spend any money on it so just left it there. My boyfriend adopted her and took care of her recovery. He named her Scar and he loves her just as much as Koga. They're like dogs to him.
So I came on the scene two years ago (almost three). He had mentioned them on one of our early dates and I expressed my dislike of snakes. He was very understanding and doesn't take them out or feed them around me, but it still mildly unsettles e having the there when I'm there. We've been talking about moving in together but I don't think I could be housemates with snakes.
Our relationship has been great and I really wanna take this next step but I don't know how to bring this up. He's also expressed an interest in getting more snakes and other pets. In his own words he wants to have a mini zoo.
I don't want to lose him over this and any help/advice is appreciated. | Me and boyfriend talking about moving in together, don't think I can handle his pet snakes. Do I have any right to feel this way and what are some options? |
t3_36ltda | relationships | The [26 M] girl i am dating [25 F] is sending subtweets about her issues with me | Some background I am currently dating someone. One of our mutual friends showed me her twitter feed(i have one as well) last weekend(she never gave me her twitter and i never asked for it).
While reading her tweets i noticed that the most recent ones are subtweets about me (thing she dislikes about me, issues she as with me and so on).
So my questions is why do women(some not all) subtweet about their issues with their S.O. or people they are dating? why not talk to them directly about those issues?
Subtweet - is when someone wants to criticize a person with the username @JohnDoe on Twitter but without that person seeing the tweet in their Twitter timeline. Instead of tweeting "I think @JohnDoe is an idiot" they would subtweet "I think JohnDoe is an idiot" or "I think John Doe is an idiot". In each case the @ symbol is missing so the tweet would not appear in @JohnDoe 's Twitter timeline.
P.S: Sorry if my English is poor(Second Language) | The girl i am dating is Subtweeting about me. But cant seem to confront me with her problems. I am trying to understand why some women do this. |
t3_40nrez | weddingplanning | To elope or not to elope? | Hi all,
So, FH and I have been waiting for our venue to get back to us with a final contract to sign, and in the meantime we've been doing more research, pricings, and thinking.
For context, when we started out we decided that our wedding budget was $10k. Neither of us were overly *happy* with that number but we also accepted that, barring a potluck at FIL's church (which we reaaaally didn't want), then our first preference of $5k was simply unrealistic in Greater Boston! Our guest list is 50 people ... albeit that went up to 70 as plus ones and a few 'You have to invite x person' got added on. That's okay. The cheapest still-pleasing venue was a gorgeous Natural History Museum, and we started to get excited about the prospect of dinosaurs and meteorites at our wedding.
But as we get prices for catering and photography and incidentals, we are both becoming increasingly squeamish about the money. Costs are now looking like closer to $14k, and while we *can* afford it, neither of us really *want* to. Likewise, we *can* do all this logistical work (and any attempt to bring down costs seems to generate a whole pile more logistics), but this isn't a process either of us particularly *enjoy*.
So where are we at the moment? Tossing up the idea of 'eloping'. We'd keep the same date in 2017, invite our parents and two siblings, and then just book a hotel up in the beautiful NH White Mountains, marry at a park (or at the hotel), have some nice photos taken, and enjoy a lovely meal together. Simple. With just our nearest and dearest. It's admittedly an idea we've thrown around before, but FH had originally wanted to celebrate with all those who have supported us (the aforementioned 50) and I respected that. But right now, cost and logistics are making him (and I) question that. Our parents are onboard with us just eloping ... **but, wedditors, what haven't I thought of about eloping? | What are the pros and cons of an elopement? And costs we might not have thought of? :) (edited for formatting) |
t3_1czto6 | relationships | [24m] Female best friend [24f] says it would be 'weird'. | I'm 24m with a female best friend (24f) who I've known for almost 10 years. I met her when I was dating her best friend in high school, but that's long been over with. We've both had a few relationships over the years but the last 2 or 3 years we've both been single and spending nearly every day together.
Our relationship is entirely nonphysical. It kills me to see her walk away every night without so much as a hug. I used to think it had to do with the way I looked, I started working out last year and have come a very long way (from decently overweight to visible abs) and nothing seems to have changed. I used to be pretty messy and unkempt, and also handled that. No difference. I've got a great career and am very well paid for anyone we know, but I'm not pompous about it. I've spoken to her about it, she says it would just be weird if we got together. I just don't know where I screwed up.
Its not like the only thing we do together is sit around laugh and bullshit, we go see gardens and museums, we went on vacation over the winter and skied places our parents never heard of. We went dog sledding and even saw the northern lights. Not exactly your run-of-the-mill getaway.
I've tried dating other girls, but shes so stuck in my head I'm almost afraid of using her name by mistake. I don't want to stop hanging out with her just to get her off my mind, shes my best friend. | hanging out with female best friend every day for years. Like her a lot but she doesn't feel the same way. Not sure how to handle it. |
t3_2baz08 | relationship_advice | I [29/f] found my boyfriend [22/m] looking for dirtykikpals on reddit. He now wants a break. | Boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months exclusively but were dating about 6months before then. Right now is is deployed (not middle east) and we keep in touch regularly. I did not expect to be able to talk much since I know KIT is not priority when deployed. First we used kik to chat but then suddenly he wanted to use whatsapp and it made me feel uneasy. We continue to chat and everything is going well but then I don't hear from him which isn't that uncommon. I just see it as he is busy so whatever but then it gets to where I have a bad anxious feeling. I do a search for his username on reddit and bam there is his username with a freaking NSFW label next to it. I am livid and hurt. I screenshot it and sent him a message. I dont hear from him til 5 the next morning. He sees my message but responds after I ask if he is avoiding me. He apologizes and says I have the right to be upset. We talk, I ask what is wrong, he says he hates long distance and he wants a break but not breakup so he can figure things out. This completely threw me for a loop, apparently he has felt like this for a month but never said anything except he missed me and all the things he wanted to do when he got back. I am so confused and hurt and angry. I care for him but I don't feel its fair to be left waiting to see if he truly wants to be with me. Anyone else gone through this? How did you handle it? | Deployed boyfriend looking for dirtykikpals gets caught now wants a break. Not sure if I want to wait. Sorry I ramble I can't type when my emotions are high. |
t3_4tz8g9 | relationships | My [36 M] girlfriend [35 F] recently asked me if I would move in with her. I have some things that I want to square a way and need some advice. | To be completely honest, things have moved very fast for us and there have already been hick-ups along the way. That being said, I do love her very much and I already spend every night at her house and it's almost as if I live there already. However, I have some things that I need to clear the air on.
The big one for me (and I know I will get blasted here for this) is that I am still married and she thinks that I am divorced. I didn't even mean for that to happen because several weeks before I met her (after like a years separation) we had made our final agreements through mediation and the paperwork part (writing up the final settlement and filing with the courts) should have been done within a few weeks (so at that point-any day) but it has taken month's of our lawyers dragging their feet over the tiniest of details and taking two to three weeks for their communications between each other even! It is getting so old and was not supposed to drag on.
I want to get that out in the open and let the consequences be what they are.
As far as her, I know that there has been stuff that she has trickle truthed me about, such as when she really broke off trying to work things out again with her ex husband. She had told me they tried a little bit last year, which has turned into trying up until March of this year but I found out that he was freaking out when she was on a date with me the first week or so that we hung out and that her daughter lied to him about where she was. There is more too.
My main point is that we both have complicated situations and before we make this huge leap, I want everything to be 100% open. No little secrets anymore. just honesty and understanding.
How would you go about starting that conversation? | About to move in together. Need to get some of both of our hidden truths out. How to go about doing so? |
t3_2yljw5 | relationships | Should I[21 M] ask class buddy [20 F] out now or try to hang out with her first? | I have known this girl since Fall 2012 when her dorm room was near mine. We were in the same friend group back then, but nothing happened between us.
Since then I haven't kept up with that group, but she has had a couple classes with me. This semester she saves me a seat twice a week and we talk before and walk together afterwards. I don't even have her phone number, but sometimes we Facebook chat.
I like talking to her and I think she is beautiful, so I am wondering if I should try to hang out with her and get to know her, or just straight up ask her out after class. | We have class together, but we don't spend time together outside of class. Should I ask her out or get to know her better? |
t3_54z7du | relationships | I [M43] don't know what to do about this relationship with her [F36]. | She's a 36-year-old mother of two. I'm a 43-year-old guy with no children. We've known each other for years and have been great friends with no hint of any attraction.
Last year, she split up with her husband after she realised he was an abusive ass. Nasty to their kids... I helped her through that. Was her "rock" as best as I could be and she was really grateful. She's now divorced and definitely happy about it.
Earlier this month, we found ourselves curled up together. No agenda, no penetrative sex, but lots of touching and... I made her come. It felt just *wonderful*. I discovered an attraction to her that I didn't know I had.
We talked afterward and it was understood that it was just a thing that happened, though I guess neither of us believed that.
She's located a bit distant from me, but that's not a problem. What I'm worried about is that I love her *so much*, and she loves me too. And I'm afraid that any relationship we might have will be based on her hurt and fear, my defence of her, her reliance on me, and that one night.
To make matters worse, I don't know what to do about a pair of teenagers with emotional damage.
Everything is telling me to just be her friend until and beyond she finds someone new, but that's gonna hurt.
What should I do? | I'm in love with someone who I probably shouldn't be with. I don't know how to handle it and I doubt she does either. |
t3_475daj | tifu | TIFU by traveling to a country 18.000km from home without a proper planing | Well, to be honest the Fuck up didn't Starter today, it begun about one year ago, when I quit my studies and decided to go see the World. (Please excuse my bad english :( )
I'm heavy into LotR so i quickly chose New Zealand as my Destination.
After i gathered enough money to start my journey, I booked my flight and looked forward to a lots of fun.
Now the Fuck up begins. I thought I wouldn't need to book a hostel, I'll just do it, when I'm there. Turns out nearly every Hostel in Auckland is booked out the next few days and it seems like I either need to spend a lot more Money in actual Hotels vor sleep at the airport. Since I'm on a budget and like my sleep i'd like to avoid both options. At least I got a bed for tonight but I still don't know where to sleep without spending lots of Money. | Traveled to Auckland from Germany as a Backpacker without booking something for the first week; turns out: everythings booked out. |
t3_4r7oq7 | relationships | I [24m] reached out to my ex [22F] from 2014 and am wondering where to go from here. She seemed lukewarm but didn't freeze me out. Looking for perspective. | Around two years ago I dated this girl for about three months. It was a shit show. I was going through depression and stress from questioning my vocational and educational choices and wasn't really there for her at all. She liked me a lot, deep down I liked her, but it just didn't work. She ended things one night by saying I was horrible (true) and to never speak to her again.
I followed what she said and slowly forgot about her. Three weeks ago I was walking downtown with some friends and I saw her across the street. Even though it was a busy night, we definitely both saw each other and stared at each other for a few seconds before we went back to whatever we were doing at the time.
Last evening I sent her a text congratulating her; a painting of hers was in a local fancy gallery. She immediately responded half a second later with a very curt thank you and letting me know this wasn't the first time. We made small talk about her art and the conversation grew a lot warmer. Not once did she make it known communicating wasn't a good idea. I let her know her favorite band was on shuffle that afternoon and it made me think of her. She said it was very sweet.
Basically, I asked her if we could start talking again because I miss her. She asked why I was contacting her again (e.g. if I was horny and was trying to booty call) and asked for an explanation why I was so shitty back in 2014. I told her that it wasn't an excuse for my actions, jsut that I was having trouble and shouldn't have let it mistreat her like that.
Last thing she said last night was "I'll let you know" re: us talking again.
I'm a very assertive and headstrong person, waiting around for something isn't my strong suit but I would like her and I to be friends again. Do I just completely wait and not open communication again or in a week or so ask her to join me for a casual lunch? | two years ago dated girl for a few months. Wasn't in good place. Am better now. Reached out to be friends. Says she'll let me know. |
t3_54e1nc | relationships | Should I [18M] ask for my money back if my homecoming date [17F] doesn't show up? | Cora and I are both in our last year of high school. We're not a couple, but we like each other and talk often. We also try to hang out one on one when given the chance.
Homecoming dance is around the corner. Dances aren't her thing but she was more than happy to come with me when I asked to Homecoming the other day. I bought both of us tickets and gave her one. Earlier today we were talking on snapchat and Cora gave me a heads up that she most likely won't show up due to family drama/issues. I just found a backup date who will most likely come. This was at Cora's encouragement and I asked my sister's roommate, who is aware and perfectly okay with being my back up date. She already has her ticket.
I'm starting to think that I should ask Cora to pay me back. Both tickets cost almost $100 and I really could use half of that for food and bus money. It doesn't have to be right away, I'm okay with her paying me back over a couple weeks. I talked to a couple friends about my situation and they think I shouldn't ask for her money back in the relatively small chance she does show up to Homecoming dance. | Asked a girl I'm kinda seeing to my school's homecoming dance. I payed for both tickets and gave her one. Today I she told me that she probably can't come. I want my money back. |
t3_2wa8o0 | relationships | [21 M] Thinking about breaking up with my [19 F] girlfriend of 5 months, but I'm not sure if I should | I've been dating this girl for about 5 months, and I think it's time to end the relationship. Shes my first real girlfriend and the girl i lost my virginity to, and i just think that there's someone else out there that's better for me. I've felt from the very beginning that it wasn't going to last forever.
However the part that makes me want to stay is that we've always gotten along really well and I know for a fact that she would stay with me and care for me as long as I wanted to, and I hear that's really hard to come by.
Can anyone give me advice on what I should do? I think if I were to end the relationship now would be a good time. | Thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend because I feel like she's not the one, but we get along really well and she treats me well |
t3_i9xps | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your most memorable "Holy shit, i can't believe i was there to witnessed that!" moment? | i'll start: Me and some friends went out to a small local bar one night. We decided we had our fill of pool and beer for the night and decided to call it a night. The bar was so packed that night we decided to park a the 7 eleven across the street. So as we are waiting to cross, we noticed an obviously super intoxicated guy stumbling around in the middle of a the highway. Suddenly a green SUV trying to beat the light plowed right into this guy must of been doing at least 55. Stunned at what we'd just seen we of course quickly ran over to him to see if he was ok/alive. This guy gets up and tries to walk, at which point his left leg folded at the shin right underneath him and he toppled over. I guess it was the combination of shock and extreme inebriation but he seemed to be completely unaware of the fact that his leg was holding on by probably a 1/4 inch of flesh and was just flopping around. I sat with him as my friend called 911 and had a real tough time trying to get him to stay seated. Ready for the really fucked up part? Well he all of the sudden i guess notices his now destroyed lower leg and decides to try to tear it completely off! He started twisting and yanking on it so i literally had to hold this guy down until the ambulance and police arrived shortly after. I will never forget that leg. | Saw a drunk guy get hit by a speeding suv, snapping his leg at the shin almost completely off, had to subdue him to keep him from trying to rip his leg the rest of the way off. |
t3_2sl7m0 | tifu | TIFU by unplugging my microwave | So the fuck up technically occurred about a month ago, but I didn't realize it until last week. I'm a freshman in college and I was getting ready to leave for winter break. One of my residence hall's rules is that I have to unplug my microwave before leaving for break, so I unplug my microwave and leave for break. Fast forward three weeks. I get back to campus expecting everything to be all bueno. I proceed to open my mini fridge to put in a new carton of milk and I am assaulted by a wave of the worst odor ever to enter my nasal cavity. I find that the chocolate milk that I had left inside had basically turned into cottage cheese, the coffee creamer had spoiled, and my pizza rolls had become covered in mold. After a solid 15 minutes of cleaning and fumigated the fridge, I figure out that my fridge and microwave use the same plug (thank you cheap-ass rental service). The worst part was that I was keeping roughly 30 packets of Chick-Fil-A Sauce that I had accumulated throughout the semester in the fridge and it had all been contaminated by the toxic milk fumes. So there you have it ladies and gents. Needless to say I have learned from my mistake and will not be repeating it in May. | Unplugged microwave before winter break, come back to learn that fridge and microwave use same plug and EVERYTHING had gone bad. |
t3_dmlgv | relationships | It's been a while since my last first date, so I need a quick advice here... | I am 23, she is 20. Met out of random, since she was at work that same day we texted like animals (?) all day, and then she suggested to go for a late night walk. We did and we both had a lot of fun. She sent all the signals, which I caught and she was the one asking me what did I think of all this. She said that she is super intrigued and definitely wants to see me again. The lovely first date ended up with a nice kiss and moving on.
This was Saturday. Sunday came and I was relatively busy and she was at work again, but I tried to engage on some conversation but it was a no go. I was planning to call but since we just met and since I got virtually no reply during the day I wanted to back off so as to not come too desperate.
So, today is Monday and she is back at school while I am in the office working. I am not hesitant to call and just have a second date planned out before calling (possibly food and then some bowling or walking around). Should I even try to send a text her during the day (considering that she didn't reply at all yesterday), or should I just wait to be out of work, pick up the phone called, and see how the mood is over there, and play it that way?
I am liking this one girl, she said good things about me and how surprised she was about my personality and all those nice things you like to hear, but since it is my first real date in a few months, this post-date events always make me feel a bit odd since I don't want to screw up so early in the game.
Should I be worried about the lack of communication 24 hours after a good date? I just want to be sure we are still both on the same page, and just go on a second date. | went on a date, walked and kissed. She said she wanted a second date. No communication 24 hours after. What the deuce? Should I wait to call directly or will texting during the day might show a sign of weakness? |
t3_cnvux | AskReddit | Reddit, I got hit by a car on my bike today, have any of you been hit by a car? What should a look for as far as non-obvious injuries? | As far as me, the guy made a right turn without looking when I has a walk light and hit my lower left leg and I fell on the bike so I'm fine just a little scratched and bruised up as the guy was only going about 10 mph. Bikes front rim is bent and he is paying for it (obviously).
Do you have any advice what to do here? The guy looked like a high school student (was wearing a HS tshirt too) and gave me a lift home so I'm not interested in making money off this just need to make sure I don't overlook anything. | I'm fine (my bike not so much) and I just need to make sure I don't forget something that screws me later. |
t3_3vl3bl | relationships | Me [22F] with my SO [23M] ~1yr, becoming irritated at communication style. Am I overreacting? | My SO, Tate and I have been dating for nearly a year. We've been long-distance for about 5 months, although we're still in the same country. We maybe see each other once a month given that both of our schedules are fairly hectic.
I'd like to start off by saying that I do not expect texts or phone calls 24/7, as I understand that we're both busy people. However, recently I have become pretty frustrated because I am recognizing a pattern. He will text me all throughout his work day very frequently, and sometimes he'll call me on his lunch break because he knows I take mine at thee same time. Then, the weekends roll around. I don't hear from him for hours at a time. Sometimes just a good morning, and nothing until later at night. I know he's relaxing and all, but I almost feel like he uses talking to me as a way to fill his boredom during the week. I feel like when he isn't bored, he isn't talking to me.
In my own opinion, I feel like this is rude and like I'm just being used to fill his time when he isn't doing things. I've reflected on my own communication patterns, and I am not over-excessive. When I text him on the weekends, I almost feel like I'm bothering him because I don't hear from him for so long. It makes me feel like I'm not a priority. Thinking this way also becomes frustrating because I put a lot into this relationship, and I think I deserve reciprocation.
Does anyone here have similar experiences? Am I overreacting? Can anyone offer any advice? (sorry about 21 questions). | SO only communicates with my frequently during the week and not on the weekends, and I'm becoming frustrated. Can anyone offer any advice? |
t3_1sjxhh | offmychest | I pushed her away. | There was once a girl who loved a boy for the first time in her life but she couldn't say. One night she did, I didn't know what to say. I searched through my feelings and found what was obvious to all but me.
Something happened after a year and a half.
I pushed away the first girl to truly love me and who I loved in return. Our relationship grew toxic and bitter and she had enough of my foul moods and temperament. I still run the bad that I have done over and over, tormenting myself on nights like this.
I still remember the good, like the first time she said "I love you", that stuff still brings a tear to my eye. That was the first time I really thought about what those words mean and just how special they are. She helped me through difficult times, as I did the same for her.
We dated for around a year and a half, broke up a couple of times but but made up in the end. The last one was different. There were no tears, no regrets, no looking back. I said sorry for the way things went in the end, she felt the same.
At the moment we're still friends and still quite close to each other. I still love her and she still loves me. And that's all I have to say about that. | I pushed away the girl I loved. Some memories still haunt me. Others make me feel whole. We're still close. |
t3_kyfcp | AskReddit | What colleges should I be looking at for a degree in CS? | I'm a senior in high school and I don't really know what to be looking for in a college's CS program. I don't just want to go to any school that offers CS I want to go to a school that really engages students. Any help would be awesome! Also, cost is a major factor but if the school id really good about financial aid and scholarships it's good. I live in Illinois and would like to probably keep it close to there because its cheaper I think...
If anybody can offer insight about the CS programs at these schools that would be fantastic!
* NIU
* Truman State
* University of Washington Seattle
* Washington University St. Louis
* UC-Davis
* UCLA
* U of I
* University of Oregon
* Loyola
* SLUE
* SLU
* UBC | Senior in an Illinois high school, looking for awesome colleges for CS, needs to be reasonably cheap but scholarships and the school's financial aid will help! |
t3_34sloh | college | Finishing up my freshman year and now realizing I am in the wrong major | I came to college as a health sciences student on the pre-pa track. Here are the classes I've taken so far and the grades earned.
**Fall**
Biology *B-*
Chem 1 *C*
Found Writing *B+*
Calculus *B*
**Spring**
Anatomy *C*
Sociolgy *A*
Stats *A*
Public Speaking *A*
As you can see, I'm not doing well to get into PA school. Though highschool I shadowed several PAs and loved it! I loved the aspect of working directly with patients, and working in a big team. So i went to a cheap college with a good bio program to chase my dream of getting into med school. Unfortuantly chem doesn't come naturally to me at all, and I find anatomy to be extremely dry and boring.
All my life I've been pushed into pursuing the sciences because of job outlook in the future, even though it's never been my natural calling. This semester has really made me realize I'm really into sociolgy, public speaking, and statistics. In my Antotomy class I put 15 hours of studying into tests to recieve Bs, while my classmarts put in 3 to get As. And in my sociology class I don't study at all and score in the top 5 percent of the class each time.
I enjoy my time in sociology. I enjoy crafting and delivering speeches. And I also had a great time this weekend doing a stats project on analyzing data. In fact, I enjoyed the stats project so much I plan on doing more of them on NFL/MLB related stuff this summer.
This is all terrifying to me. I'm paying for college on my own, but that never bothered me because I was expecting to land a high paying job as a PA. Now that dream is sailed, and I'm 15,000 dollars in debt with idea on what degree I want to earn. | I have a natural calling in stats, public speaking, and sociology but don't know what to do with it. Please help me, I'm completly lost and terrified. |
t3_4hgtp1 | relationships | I [23M] developed feelings for someone during my stay abroad while being in a 4 year relationship | I [24M] have spent the last 4 months abroad and will stay here for another month. I have been in a relationship with my gf [23F] for almost 4 years. This is the second time we are in long distance relationship (she has also been abroad for ~5 months). Before I left we decided I will move in with her when I return.
During my time abroad I feel like we fell out of touch. We rarely call (she doesn't like calling) so most of our contact is the few messages we exchange every day. I barely know what is going on in her life and she barely knows what goes on in mine. I have been struggling with a lot of issues here and feel like she wasn't really there to support me.
At the same time I befriended a local [21F] and we got really close over time. I started having romantic feelings for her but decided to ignore them. A week ago she confessed that she has a crush on me and I told her the feelings are mutual. She knows I am in a relationship. We decided to stay friends.
The whole situation keeps me up at night. My feelings for this girl are very strong and I really want to be with her, but I feel like an asshole for considering ending a 4 year relationship for this. Even if I did I'd just be setting myself up for another long distance relationship. I have no idea how my relationship will be when I get back home, if it will be the same as before and if that is what I actually want.
I really want to talk about this with my gf but I'm afraid I just end up really hurting her and ruining our relationship. I also feel part of me wants to tell her just so she'll end the relationship and I can be with the local girl without feeling guilty. Would it be fair of me to tell my gf? Would it be fair if I didn't? What would be the best approach to telling her? | I developed feelings for someone else while abroad. I'm considering telling my gf but am wondering if that would be fair and how I would tell her. |
t3_e8ggw | AskReddit | A person at work used a racial slur at a meeting today... Am I wrong to call them out on it? | I was in a meeting today, and a co-worker began a sentence "This isn't racist, but. . ." and then continued on to use a racist slur three times. When it occurred I was in complete shock and didn't say anything about it. Neither did anybody else. I am planning on sending out an email to the people who were at the meeting, addressing some general ideas about the topics of discussion, and then as politely as possible, pointing out that it was inappropriate and such language is hurtful and damaging, even when not intended to be so, and asking that we refrain from using that type of language, especially because it's entirely unnecessary. Also, there was one member of this minority race at the meeting. The rest of us were white. I feel like by not saying anything, I'm allowing these types of attitudes to perpetuate. Am I just causing trouble, or is it just to address it? | Lady used racist slur, nobody reacted. I want to address it now because that shouldn't be considered acceptable. |
t3_4b7w7w | relationships | Follow-Up: Boyfriend's (21M) family never invite me (21F) to visit | OP:
For a while, nothing really changed since I posted. My boyfriend and I continue to spend all breaks in our respective houses, and a visit to his place has still yet to be determined. It'll probably happen someday, but I don't know when. We've started to discuss engagement and have agreed that it'll happen sometime next year.
Recently, two mutual friends of ours started dating. They've been dating about two months and have already seen each other's parents the same number of times that I've seen my boyfriend's, and the girl (Elise) is going over to her boyfriend (Blake)'s house for easter.
I'm jealous. I've never experienced easter and I've told my boyfriend over and over that it would be fun to help out with his family's egg hunt. I know Elise and Blake's circumstance is different, that Elise isn't expected to go home for every break and Blake is driving them to his house. My boyfriend and I don't drive, so we could never do that. Still, I feel sad about this.
Also, my boyfriend will be visiting my family next month for my birthday, but I've never even gotten to see him on his birthday (it's in the summer, and we spend summers apart).
Is there a way I can put these jealous feelings to bed? | No visits in sight for me, but mutual friends that have been dating 2 months are already having meet the parents visits. I'm irrationally jealous and need advice. |
t3_w8v7o | jobs | Feeling anxiety over leaving a very comfortable position for a new, higher, challenging one... | I'm in the consulting business. I've been with my company over 6 years, and was one of the first handful of employees of the firm, and have seen it grow exponentially. My salary is nice ($130k), I am super secure in my job, and it is very comfortable and stress free, and allows me to basically coast without too much effort. The company has historically made promises (equity stake) that haven't come true, and while I really hope they will, somewhere inside of me tells me that ship has sailed and if I stay, I can just continue coasting, albeit a very comfortable salary and work that is really not hard or stressful, and should forget about those additional promises.
Along comes company X, they see my skills and talents and want to hire me desperately. They are willing to pay me 15% more, with perhaps additional incentives as well, and less work travel. This position is more prestigious that my current one, for a larger company, and offers more career growth opportunities ahead, and along with that a lot more challenges, stress, and risks.
On one hand, in my past I have always been a risk taker and risen to challenges, but I've also been the type of person who hasn't truly had to work hard to be successful... On the other hand, now I'm having some anxiety about walking away from a good position that already pays well and has little to no stress, but may not offer any further career acceleration and leaves me hoping they fulfill those promises someday.
Is this anxiety normal? Is this one of those things I need to do if I really want to foster some real career growth and push further? Any advice? Is it maybe I'm so used to not working 'hard' that the thought of hard work again has somehow got the best of me in the meantime? | Should I leave a VERY comfortable position for one with higher pay, more long-term career growth options, but more stress and risks too? |
t3_37o3fn | personalfinance | Auto Financing is hard and I need your help. | So here's the deal:
I am looking to buy a car and to cut to the chase I don't have a lot of money. Obviously the first option that comes to mind is getting a car payment.
It gets more interesting though, and here's the twist. I am 19 and my parents won't cosign because they don't trust me enough as a result I know I am going to have to get some crazy loan with ridiculous interest. Here's the deal, I am getting a new full time job within walking distance (<5 miles for me) but that's still a little far and on hot or cold or rainy days... you get where I'm going with this?
I am willing to be extremely flexible on payments and the price of the car. As long as the car will get me through college or the next 5 to 6 years.
What should I do? (Sorry for not researching much I just wanted some personal opinions from le internet people i trust so much for advice) | Should I get a bargain bin loan for a 4 to 6 thousand dollar car with a shit payment on horrible interest or suck it up and walk to work for a long time? |
t3_4x3wfr | relationships | Family thinks I 23f am starving myself but I'm not. | I'm currently 5'5 and 105 pounds. I have not been trying to lose weight, however when I become sick( ex. Flu) I lose my appetite and therefore i don't eat. It is extremely hard for me to gain weight. At my heaviest I was 125 pounds and that was during my freshman year at university. This summer I've been working 3 jobs and by the time I get home sometimes I realized I've skipped a meal. It's not intentional it just slips by me. I've always been skinny but my family thinks I'm on the verge of anorexia. I'm Caribbean so during family gatherings they force food on you. I literally cannot eat a lot of food at once so naturally I refuse large portions. When this happens I get the whole stop starving yourself speech.
I don't feel unhealthy and I feel like I look fine even with the weight loss. I guess my question is do they have a right to be concerned or do I have the right to be annoyed? | Family thinks I'm starving myself but I'm not. Do they have a right to be concerned or do I have the right to be annoyed? |
t3_161dqx | AskReddit | TIL Bubba Gump Shrimp CO. won't let their employees eat on the floor after their shift is over because customers complained about having to sit next to people who serve them. | They tell their employees its because they're afraid employees eating off the clock will distract employees who are still working but they then remind the staff that they are more than willing to take their money if they come back two hours from the time they've clocked out. Whats strange is that a whole new set of coworkers will be there just the same. Upon asking further it turns out that enough customers have complained that their server turned the table, clocked out, changed, and sat next to them that they banned it. People thought it was unpleasant and unprofessional to have to sit next to people who served them and the company agreed.
Just thought its a good idea to know where you're money is going...
What do you think about this rule? Would it upset you to sit in a booth next to the person who served you? | Bubba Gump treats its employees terribly, would you care if you had to sit next to your server once they've gotten off work? |
t3_3kx9p6 | relationships | Me [24 M] and my Girlfriend [22 F] of 1 year, are graduate students working under the same supervisor. Dealing with anxiety of working in the same field as her. | So as the title suggests, we are both graduate students. We work in a scientific field. We met working in our lab together and have since started a relationship, which has been going on for just over a year.
We have a great relationship. She is the best match for me of anybody I have ever dated. I love her and I know she feels the same way. We are both serious about the relationship and want to it to continue and grow. We have intelligent conversations and are able to stimulate and aid in each others work.
Anyways, as time goes on though, I have been getting more and more anxious about how good of a student I am compared to her. She is very intelligent and ambitious and I am always very self conscious of my abilities compared to her. I am always worried that I will be worse at what I do than her, and she will succeed and I will fail.
To top that off, whereas I have chosen to stay where we are at to do my PhD, she is entertaining the idea of moving elsewhere to do hers. The thought of her leaving and potentially being very successful without me makes me super anxious.
I feel like I could manage the anxiety better if she were to stay here. I want her to stay. But there is a good chance that her staying will not be the best for her career. I am at a loss of how to handle the situation anymore.
I will not break up with her, because I know for sure what we have is the real deal and it would be stupid to throw that away because I am being petty.
Is there anyone else who has been in similar situations? How did you handle it? | Work in the same field as girlfriend, and anxious about measuring my success next to hers/her leaving town and pursuing her studies elsewhere. How do I cope? |
t3_4niet0 | relationships | Me [27/F] with my boyfriend [29/ M] are dealing with his soon to be ex wife [29/F]. A mutual friend [27/F] provided her with an innocent photograph of us hanging out with friends before we started dating. Do I reply to this mutual friends outreach to me asking why I've blocked them? | We are concerned that responding will worsen the situation. There are children involved and ex wife has acquired a lawyer, claiming we were together before they separated. I wasn't even considered an acquaintance of his when they were together and met him several months after they split due to her cheating on him. She is using this to keep his children from him.
I discovered that this friend indeed did supply the photograph as confirmed by the ex wife. He and I have not announced our relationship due to the sensitivity of their divorce and the children involved. Whom have only met me once and are unaware of our relationship.
I'm considering replying to her along the lines of "yes, I know you were the one who sent the photo of us. We are good friends only and it has caused unnecessary drama that could severely affect their divorce. I cannot trust you to not provide her with any other information that will make this worse than it already is."
We do not know which avenue is best to take. Simply ignore her message or reply? We are afraid both will be taken way out of context. His ex even gave him shit for a photo my cousin posted of them hugging, my cousin is dating his best friend.
Any input will be much appreciated. | Ex wife claims we were together before they separated. Do I respond to the person who supplied ex wife an innocent photo of us telling her why I had to block her and deny the relationship or do I leave it be? |
t3_3ual86 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [23 F] broke up after 6 years, but I'm not willing to let go yet. | Today my girlfriend and I mutually agreed to part ways. Most of the reasons involve my issues with alcohol and lack of emotion. I have never been emotional, and over time I just wore my girlfriend down. However, she knows I love her, and I know I do as well. We are meeting again in two days, but I'm not sure where to go from here. She is everything I want in a woman, and I'm not sure I'm ready to let go. I'm willing to change my drinking habits, and I will try to be more supportive. Not sure how to convince her given that every other time I had said this, I end up reverting back to being depressed and a pain to deal with. | Gf and I of 6 years break up over my lack of emotion and alcohol issues. I'm not willing to give up yet, despite our mutual parting. How to talk about giving it another try. |
t3_34wi6d | offmychest | It's not a weird dream, just one I can't get out of my head | Year ago, way back in college I had a huge crush on this girl. I'm a pretty introverted guy, awkward and all that. We went to high school and college together but we weren't really close until my senior year. We took classes together and I finally work up the courage to ask her out on a date. Long story short, I'm not her type and we end up just being friends, but you know how it is, it's hard not to think of her in that light.
Anyways, over the next few years I ask her out a few more times and it just doesn't happen. In the last few years I've accepted this and moved on. Last night though, I had this crazy dream. Dreamt that her and her friend were on a double date and they end up having a 4 way. It just felt super vivid and made me super uncomfortable. Can't really tell any of my friends about it because wtf, who the fuck has those kinds of dreams. | dreamt a crush from years ago had a 4 way with her friend. can't get that image out of my head. throwawaylife. |
t3_1u8v86 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my _girlfriend__ [23/F] duration 3 years, seem to be coming to an end. She just doesn't like anything about me anymore. | Things have been tough for a while but on NYE she moved in to her mum's (we did live together) for a break. I am very close to her family, had Christmas with them for the second time this year, etc. I feel that we are going to break up and, although neither of us have said it, it seems like only a matter of time.
First of all, I am distraught. She is my bestfriend and I love her to my bones. Not seeing her face when I get home from work rips me in two. But from what she has told me, she really doesnt seem to like me as a person anymore. She loves me, but is not in love with me.
I have been looking at cheaper, alternitive accommodation incase the worst does happen and this also hurts.
I have had thoughts about ending it now and making the healing process begin sooner, but I don't want it to end.
What would you do in this situation. Please answer seriously. And thanks. | My girlfriend seens to be ending our relationship slowly and it hurts. Do I end it now to save future heartache? |
t3_2hygeg | relationships | My longtime girlfriend [20f] and I [20m] have been growing apart. She's been losing feelings for me and developing feelings for a co-worker. Do I stick it through or jump ship? | So my girlfriend and I are close. We've been like a married couple since high school. Lately she's been super busy and works and lives a little ways away, and we haven't seen much of each other.
One day she tells me she's been feeling weird about me lately, and starts to question her love for me. I told her to wait until we have more time together, and we agree to stick it through.
Now she tells me she's been considering leaving me and has developed feelings for a new coworker, but tells me she still knows that I am the better choice. I love this girl with all my heart, but I feel betrayed and scared she's going to leave me. I don't know if I should try and win her back or pack it up and move it out. Is this normal in long-term long-distance relationships? Advice? | Gf is super busy in another city, losing feelings for me, growing feelings for someone else, but all is not lost. Do I chase her or painfully quit while I'm ahead? |
t3_160lzj | relationships | M[22] Dated F[23] almost 4 years, recent breakup, mutual friends wedding coming up | I dated a F[23] for over 3 1/2 years and broke up about 3 months ago. She's been seeing another guy for 2 months. When we were dating we had best friends that were also dating[26F][28M], and are to be married soon. The bride/groom don't know the new boyfriend, but I don't think they have a problem with her bringing him. I'm not ok with it, I still have feelings for the girl, and it will be hard enough to see her in person let alone with another guy. I have plenty of attractive girls I could bring to the wedding, but it's not even that. I can't ask them to tell her not to bring him, but I really, really, don't want to see that. I can't ditch the wedding either, I'm a groomsman. How should I handle the situation? | Im a groomsman and my ex is coming to the wedding with the guy she left me for, how do I handle it? |
t3_mb9nj | relationship_advice | Need some post-breakup success stories | I am sure this gets reposted every month or so, but a cursory search did not yield what I wanted so I am posting this anyway.
I am a 29(m), was dating my 28(f) girlfriend for 2.5 years. We broke up last March, were both graduating from grad school... she got an amazing job in Houston that would be a minimum of 3 years there... she pretty much made me an ultimatum, I could either commit to moving with her or we should break up. I just couldn't do it- was not ready I guess... seemed like a huge decision to make for someone else and I was worried I would not be happy. If I am being honest with myself I really just needed to grow up a little. I ended up moving across the country, we saw each other a few times since the breakup and hooked up, kept in contact through skype, then a few weeks ago she cut off contact. Found out through a friend she was dating some new guy, have been a total mess ever since.
I won't go into more detail but can say that in the last few months I made the decision that she was worth moving for but it seemed like it was too late... and now it is. She is an amazing girl and I do not know if I will ever find someone else like her; I think the feelings are worse because I know it is my fault. I have slept with a bunch of girls since the breakup but it is just so joyless for me- it feels like none of them can compare.
So are there success stories? Would especially love people my age-ish (late 20s) who broke up and still managed to find someone else as good or better than their ex. It just feels so hopeless sometimes. | Just stopped talking to my ex/learned she was dating someone else, am a mess, would like success stories of people who found someone comparable. |
t3_51ll89 | tifu | TIFU By trying make fried chicken | So I was cooking a few nights ago and I was making peanut crusted chicken. I wasn't planning on frying it, but the recipe wanted me to, and I figured it would probably taste better fried, even if it isn't as healthy. I don't have a good pan for frying but I did have a dutch oven. So I put the oil in the dutch oven and throw it on the stove. At some point the oil isn't quite hot enough so I decide to throw the lid on it for a minute.
As I am finishing the chickens and they are ready to fry I smell something that is just... not right. I look over to the dutch oven it looks like there is steam coming out of it. I look at the bottom and it is starting to blacken. I take the lid off of the pot and steam/smoke/gas comes bellowing out into the kitchen and apartment. I start to freak out and I open the window, I start trying to fan the smoke out into the night. I unfortunately breathed a bit of it in, and some of it got into my eyes so I immediately ran to the bathroom to flush my eyes out.
Somehow I avoid the fire alarm but now the kitchen, hall, and bathroom are filled with what I can only assume is peanut gas(From the peanut oil). The smell is terrible and I am still doing all I can to get the smoke out of the apartment.
Eventually the smoke all clears out but the smell is terrible. I ended up baking the chicken, it still tasted good. But now the entrance to my apartment smells like peanut gas. | Don't try and fry something with a dutch oven, your apartment will fill with gas and the smell will linger. |
t3_v0jo6 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, want to control what happens next in my relationship? | So here's the story: my boyfriend and I have been together since late November, 2011. I've grown to love him since we first started dating. However, I have not grown to love his female friends at the college we both attend. His first female friend that I met refused to even talk to me when my boyfriend asked if I wanted to go to dinner with the two of them. Since that first extremely awkward dinner in December, his friends have since admitted that they hate me (without having a real reason why). After putting up with how they treated me for months, I finally had a real conversation with my boyfriend about it. He didn't say anything to them about it, but admitted to me that he thought it was wrong. Later in the school year, he did finally talk to the one girl who was the worst and she got mad at him, so he apologized to her. After that, we broke up briefly. I just couldn't handle what was happening. We got back together and he said that if we were going to get back together, I had to make an effort to get to know his friends again when they all returned from studying abroad in the fall. He said that if they still treated me poorly he would actually do something about it this time. I agreed to, because I love him and figured that he would stay true to his word. Later I found out that during our time apart, he talked to his female friends at our college (and his ex-girlfriend from home) about me and they all agreed that I am a "psychotic, crazy, immature, insecure, pathetic bitch". He has since apologized for saying that, but still wants me to try to make things work with his friends again. Should I try to make things work out with his friends in the spring when they return? Or should I give up now?
I'll do whatever the person in the top comment says to do. | My boyfriend's female friends treat me horribly and he wants me to continue trying to be friendly with them. Should I try or no? |
t3_224jq8 | relationships | My GF [20/F] of 1 month is upset with me [28 /M] for not having sex in the past 3 days. Am I overreacting | My GF is a little upset right now bc we haven't had sex in 3 days. I told her I had gotten a bacterial infection that made it painful to pee. Went to the doc today. (Probably got it from her from sex and and not cleaning up afterward) I miss our sex life just as much as she does.
So last night she asked me to come over to her friends house and hang with them for a while even though I had others things I could have taken care of (and would rather have done). I did and it was OK. I go to leave for work this morning and she tells me its "depressing" to not do anything before bed. I say ok and run out the door for work.
This seems pretty insensitive to me. Shes either implying that I should satisfy her sexually some other than normal way, or that when we hang out we just lay around in bed, which isn't true by a long shot. To me it just seems very unsympathetic and hypocritical.
I'm in pain, a lot. And she doesn't seem to care about that, just more about how she wants to have sex. I dont push her for sex if shes sore or on her period (although if she wants to Ill do it no problem). Basically I feel pretty neglected as far as basic care giving goes. When she was sick, I stayed by her, brought her anything she asked for and certainly didn't bring up my sexual needs before her health needs. This all seems pretty selfish to me am I overreacting? | Haven't had sex in 3 days for medical reasons and GF is complaining about it instead of being concerned for my health first. |
t3_16swxx | relationships | Dating my highschool crush (19f) for (2 Weeks), am (19M), and totally lost. | I'll simplify this as easy as possible. I've liked her for 4 years, never had a chance because she was with someone, they broke up after having two kids and getting married. Now they're getting divorced, I got my chance, but she wanted to take things slow which I totally understood and got. However, she's Bi, and is bouncing around females in the bedroom to where she isn't willing to hold hands or anything yet. She got pregnant again by another man before we started dating, to which I broke it off to an extent, but I'm still confused on if I should keep going. I've waited this long as it is, it just doesn't seem right to have to break it so soon. I've been out of the dating scene for years, have everything I need in life to be successful, just tired of the solitude. I'm new to reddit, but I've lurked forever. Finally time to see. Any and all feedback is welcomed. | Girl I'm dating won't keep her legs shut or keep promises. Waited 4 years, don't really want to have to end it. Wat do. |
t3_1iwyco | relationships | Me[27M] with my SO [21F] work together, can this last? | So this has been going for about a month now, I say S/O because with work and everything there is huge pressure from co-workers getting involved in our relationship and turning it into drama (we work in a small staffed bar)
The one thing ive realized is that work relationships fail because (for me at least) when you start to form a connection with someone you want to talk about it. When something is new and exciting to you, its almost like you are on top of the world, and you want to announce to the masses your newly found/temporary state of emotional bliss. This cannot happen for us because workers will become involved in our affairs, and the last thing I want to do is create an uncomfortable work environment.
Also, she is 21. I know that shouldnt matter but with my experience in life (been in a few long term relationships that lasted over a year, one lasted 4) I feel like I am a very based individual and not afraid to be hurt. I also act very rationally. For her past, its a few "assholes" who have treated her like shit/not appreciated what they had going. I understand that this is from her POV too, and the details are probably a little biased.
So what im asking is this; if I truly am developing concrete feelings for her after getting to know her (I am) is there any way that a relationship can survive this type of environment? What have you (redditors) done in the past to make a situation like this work, or did it all just blow up in your face? I feel like since we are in the food/bev industry this happens A LOT, and im betting a bunch of you are servers/bartenders/cooks/etc. What did you do? Was it worth it? What complications did you come across and how did you sort it out? | Food/Bev workers of reddit, how did you overcome the challenge of dating a co-worker you interact with constantly on a daily basis, or did it all just blow up? |
t3_9yq4a | AskReddit | Does anyone have/had Social Anxiety Disorder? | I always thought I was just shy and took some time to open up to people. In my youth it wasn't that abnormal since a lot of kids acted similarly to me and I always figured I'd grow out of it. I've had points in my life where I had lots of friends but lost them due to school/drama but it always took me some time to really embrace them as friends. I have only recently come to realize that this might be a serious problem and could mess with my life and goals. Basically, I have trouble coming up with things to say to acquaintances or people I just met, and rarely but sometimes even closer friends. It feels like I really just don't have the energy to talk to them or care enough to ask a lot of questions and keep a conversation going. I deal with anxiety regularly each day even alone (chest tightens up) but it compounds when I'm out with a group of strangers. I have tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for 3 weeks now and I can't really see myself getting better to a point where I feel comfortable talking to strangers and enjoy conversing with them. I feel like I only have 10 friends I can count on and speak freely to and it gets me depressed knowing I don't have more and can't enjoy the company of new acquaintances.
Is there hope for me? If anyone has gone through CBT or have Social Anxiety Disorder, I'd love to chat with you. | Thought I was shy, now realize it's Social Anxiety Disorder. Going through CBT, don't know if I can ever recover. Message me if you have gone through CBT or have SAD. |
t3_34m6f1 | relationships | Me [19F] with my bf [24M] of 2.5yrs, do I stay in a relationship with no future? | Basically my boyfriend has commitment issues from his past relationships. I asked him whether he could see me being somebody important to him/have a future together on two instances recently in the past 4-5months. Both of the times the response was that he didn't know but was leaning more towards probably not.
I need some perspectives to help me decide whether to stay or not and things to think about if I do stay.
Reasons to stay:
* I'm happy right now (when I don't think about the future anyways) and I'm only 19. Most relationships at my age won't last and I should just enjoy the time I do spend in this relationship.
* At 19 I'm not in a rush. Meaning I'm not really looking for anything 'serious' in terms of thinking about marriage RIGHT NOW.
* It's probably going to more or less hurt the same amount regardless of whether it ends now or later (?? unsure about this one could potentially hurt more).
Concerns if I do stay:
* If in X time he still feels the same way, when do I leave? 6 months? 1 year? 2 years? Should I even be worrying about this now?
Reasons not to stay:
* Maybe a bad mentality to have for points 1 and 2 in reasons to stay??
* Sometimes I do think about the future and how I want us to have one and then get down realising there may not be one.
* <contribute> | Bf doesn't know if he sees a future. Leaning more towards a no. Don't know whether I should stay or leave and the consequences if I do decide to stay. Need some perspective. |
t3_2vvt7i | relationships | [21/M] What should I text to a girl [21/F] after meeting her? | So we're both studying abroad in a foreign country. On Thursday night this dance club was doing a special american students only sort of thing.
I'm pretty much brand new to the whole clubbing scene so I have no idea what I'm doing at this point. Pretty sure she's at the other American university here (not mine) so I won't ever run into her on campus
Anyways, there was heavy grinding and making out for ~20 minutes. Her roommate tells us that they have to go since it was like 2 am. I probably should have made a move since my apartment was 30 seconds away but oh well. She didn't have her phone on her so she adds her full name and phone number to mine and then kiss goodbye.
So that was thursday night and now it's saturday afternoon. I definitely want to hangout with her again, doesn't have to be drinking or dancing again but just anything. My current plan would just be to send
"Hey it's Chris ____.It was nice meeting you the other night. Let's grab a drink soon."
? | Clubbed with a girl and got her number. Confused on what to text her to make this more than a 1 night thing |
t3_3c74o1 | tifu | TIFU by having a mixture of respect and fear for public toilets. | This happened over a year ago and I am finally coming to terms with it. My senior year of high school I worked for a fancy steak restaurant in Washington DC as a "guest assistant" which is basically a glorified bus boy. The uniform was all black, convenient for most spills because nothing but white sticks out. Well I was in the middle of an 8 hour shift and my intestines gave me the ole "hey you won't be able to hold this until you get home". I had never gone #2 at work and wasn't really looking forward to it, I'm not too much of a public pooper. I realized this was beyond my control however and made my walk to the restroom. Thanks to my fear of butt germs I had the great idea: "why don't I just cover the seat in toilet paper!" So I did the deed and left the restroom, being sure to check on every table in the restaurant on the way back to the kitchen. When I get back to kitchen one of the cute servers came up to me and said something along the lines of "uhhhh you might want to check your butt". I look back and see that I have had a couple sheets of toilet paper flying behind me like the jolly roger of my sheer humiliation. I double check my butt every time I poop in public now. | Made a toilet paper lasagna but some stuck to my poop chute and I discovered there are things worse than butt germs. |
t3_2tj8c8 | relationships | [22M] Should I stay with her[F23] | Okay so this is my first time posting and I am using a throwaway account! So me and my GF have been dating for 7 years. A bit of background: I come from a very hardcore Muslim family and she was born in Canada. I'm not religious at all but I could never tell my parents (they kinda know but i guess there in denial).
Anyway over the past 7 years we have been through a lot,like my parents not wanting me to date, we have both done our undergrads at different unis but still managed to stay together. we would visit each other as often as possible. Now shes doing her masters at a different University but its a lot closer then before.
Now in undergrad i was in a program that had no females it in what so ever, anyway i met this girl and just exchanged a few texts with her, nothing to sexual but it was flirty. My GF saw and of course got upset, i never talked to that girl again and I though it was over. But a week later or so my gf called me crying saying she had a one night stand.
This broke me because we had only been with each other, I failed a course because i was so depressed, she told me they used a condom and they didn't give head or anything. I eventually forgave her and everything got back to normal after a while.
But just recently she got drunk and told a friend that she did give me head and they did it 7 times. I think she was distraught because the guy tried to message her recently. This just brought back a old wound for me, and the extent it hurting me. Shes really sorry and i know i should let it go but its just hard i guess. | Girlfriend cheated 3 years ago, somewhat my fault. Now i found out other details from the past thats making me question my trust in her again. |
t3_3f5gxj | relationships | Girlfriend of three months doesn't want me to go hiking with female friend. | I need some advice so I thought I would post it here...
I have a friend (F26) whom just got married in January to one of my best friends. Long story short, she wants to go hiking/camping in the mountains west of where I live. Her SO is on deployment currently. I don't share any feelings with my best friends with her that I do with my current girl friend. I love to go hiking and so does my best friend's wife.
My girl friend (26F) doesn't want me to go out into the woods with just her. She says its very inappropriate, and is very insecure about the situation. I've only been dating her for three months. She thinks I have feeling for her, but in reality she is just a good friend of mine.
Is this at a point where I have to choose her over my friends? I just want to be happy and have a good time. Advice would be greatly appreciated!! | Girlfriend is jealous of my best friend's wife, and doesn't want to go hiking. Need advice on the best direction I should take. |
t3_4muf4v | relationships | Me 24 [M] Feel the need to leave 22 [F] girlfriend of 5 years to "live life" | I've been with my girlfriend since I was 19. We are both eachothers first serious relationship. It's been good and it's been bad like most relationships, but i can't seem to get over the feeling that I'm missing out on so much.
This isn't me trying to justify wanting to go be with other women or anything like that. I just dont see myself being with her for the long run and i feel like im wasting my time. I recently came off a really bad episode of anxiety and depression but i got professional help and im doing much better.
We recently took a 2 week break and it felt pretty amazing, no worries and not having to deal with another persons stresses was great. So is that what i feel like when im single? If so I want it.
But then i think back to when i left her before for about 8 months. All i thought about was her and i went back and fell again. I dont know im stuck and need some help and advice. | Want to feel the feeling of being alone/dont see myself with her for the long run. Scared im making a mistake. |
t3_4muwvq | relationships | I [15 M] need advice on my friend [15 F]. | Okay so I have a friend in my grade who I really like. She is cute, funny, and shares many common traits with me (we both play instruments, good students, same type of humor). The only problem is, I don't know if she likes me back.
For a while now, I have liked her and she might know it, but I don't want to ask her in fear that it might ruin our relationship as friends. I like her too much to put a barrier of awkwardness in between us. I am smart and funny, but I am somewhat overweight and I feel that she may say no to me because of my physical characteristics (I know everyone says that they don't matter, but don't bullshit me with "women only like men for their personalities" because everyone knows physical attractiveness is necessary in a relationship).
I guess my question starts here by saying: Should I ask her out, or is it better if I stay friends with her until she starts signalling to me that she likes me, or to stay friends forever if she really doesn't want to date me? | There is a girl I like that I am good friends with, and I feel that if I ask her out our relationship may be ruined. |
t3_1otigl | relationship_advice | Should I [M/21] tell her [F/19] about SSRI to save relationship? | She is closing things down, has stopped talking to me more or less. We've been dating for about a month, it's been great except for when I started an SSRI , thought it would help it didn't.
Thought things were already over two nights ago, but she kept a previous date plan, date was ok , better than the one before it. Thought I wouldn't have to tell her about SSRI because she was giving me a chance to heal things.
She hasn't texted / communicated since.
I think the ssri's are a legitimate reason for why things got messed up.
Do I tell her? Should I tell her. | Got second chance , or so I thought, to fix relationship. Should I tell her the cause for the damage, despite potential social backlash and a very personal disclosure factor in a young relationship ? |
t3_xu2h3 | AskReddit | Why wouldn't you help a paying consumer when your establishment cause them harm? | My sister is on a trip in Las Vegas at the Planet Hollywood Restaurant and Hotel. Yesterday, while her best friend, our cousin, and herself we're sleeping someone broke into their room stole their wallets and purses and bought 4X $400 target gift certificates. Luckily, Target has video of the intruder buying all said gift certificates. Who the heck doesn't check an ID when purchasing that much ?!
Here is my sisters post online to Planet Hollywood and several from her facebook feed I myself called the PH Security and spoke to their manager who in turned as they did to my sister, tried to make it seem like it was HER fault that the faulty door handle didn't work. She has video showing that it is not working, only realizing this after being robbed.
IMO If they are an establishment that is suppose to make you feel safe and secure while sleeping, its THEIR job to be sure that all doors close effectively. Apparently, this isn't the first time this has happened either Kelly Monaco also had her hotel broken into in 2009. You would think they could upgrade their doorhandles after someone famous has that happen.
The scariest part is that it could have been someone with a gun, or knife going in there to rape three girls. The last person to touch the door was room service too. Makes me wonder if things like this have been happening for awhile at customers expenses. How did the thief know that their door was jammed? Hope they get her soon. (They found her on camera and are tracking her down as we speak) | Sister stayed at Planet Hollywood, Hotel room was broken into, Hotel says its her fault and wont even switch her room. |
t3_oobu7 | AskReddit | What was the most awkward conversation you've ever had to have with someone? | A girl I went to high school with lives in the apartment building across the street from me. We weren't friends, and I don't really know her anymore, but she is still my friend on facebook for whatever reason.
Yesterday I was in the elevator of my building and heard two sketchy guys talking about watching a blonde girl walk around her apartment naked and how she had "boned real hard" last night while one of the sketchy guys watched.
I didn't really think much of it other than that I really wanted to get out of the elevator quickly until they started describing her in more detail. It sounded exactly like the girl I knew. I went to my apartment, looked her up on Facebook and saw that she posted about having her boyfriend home for the first time in weeks.
Her apartment is a few floors higher than mine, so I haven't noticed the nakedness, but just out of curiosity I looked out of the window this evening and sure enough, I can totally see into her apartment (but hardly, because as I said, she's on a floor higher than mine).
I don't really want to message her about it on the off chance that it isn't her, but considering she doesn't have blinds and I couldn't see into any other apartments at night, it's very likely that it is her. Should I do the right thing and let her know that sketch bags are watching her? I probably will, but it's such an awkward thing to bring up. | Girl I sort of know is getting naked in her curtainless apartment across the street and sketchy guys in my building are watching her sexytimez. |
t3_9ln1a | AskReddit | My apartment got broken into today. Someone was home to scare off the intruder, but that isn't always the case. What would you do to deter/incriminate the thief the next time he tries this? | So today someone was very determined to get into my apartment and rob the place. He probably saw the box for my new XBox 360 sitting by the sliding-glass door and thought that looked pretty choice. Anyway, he started with the sliding glass door, but couldn't get through that because we put a dowel on the track to stop would-be xbox thieves. Score one, us!
Next he tried prying the front door. He *almost* got through this. Finally he tried the bedroom window and managed to get through that, but my girlfriend (who works nights) finally woke up and scared the guy away.
Naturally my girlfriend is now freaked out, so we'll be investing in self defense. But the fact remains that the kid would have cleaned us out if she hadn't been there, or would have done worse if he hadn't been surprised.
Someday there won't be someone here to scare away would-be thieves. So what would you do to protect yourselves? Surveillance cameras? Tracking software on laptops? Traps? :-) And also, do you think it's best to own a weapon like a gun, or would you go the taser/mace route? | Robber breaks into apartment; sees my girlfriend is home; girlfriend and robber simultaneously scared poopless; robber flees. Now what? |
t3_34h4c0 | relationships | I[21M] hate that I'm starting to get annoyed when my gf [21F] of 1 year communicates with me | Before you start thinking that I'm a douche, please let me explain!
I love my girlfriend and I feel beyond blessed to have found such a loving and beautiful person. I'm very concerned lately because some of the things she talk about are getting me annoyed.
I remember that we used to have deep conversations, but now I'm beginning to think that a lot of the things she talk about are either superficial (celebrity news, gossip about friends) or complaints. When I start to talk about things I'm interested in, she would either be not so interested or not believe what I'm saying in a rude manner ("oh really? I don't think that's it"). I really want to feel happy when I talk to her. It bothers me that sometimes I'd rather not talk to her about things on my mind. I know I should talk to her about it but what do I say? Is this a personality problem or does anyone know what's going on?
I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but since we see each other a lot, we talk a lot and I wish I would be happier during our conversations.
I could really use some advice from you wonderful folks! It would mean the world to me.
Thanks in advance! | I'm beginning to think my gf says superficial things and disagree with me a lot, and it's really upsetting me. How can I stop getting annoyed or get back the fun conversations we used to have? |
t3_1f68vu | relationship_advice | [21/m] Question about getting back together. | Well as you know, I've broke up about 2 months ago and thought i was coping along nicely until i've started to talk with my ex again (long story short: the reason is I still love her and we broke up because i was too scared to face my own problems which relied on her too much up to the point where she actually gave up.). After chatting (she's coming back for summer holidays) over few days it started off as a simple "how you've been and exams" etc. then later she starts giving me these tiny flairs of hope towards me. As for me I was soo glad to see that she still cares about me. (during the 2 months i've learned a lot, what I was doing wrong and should man up a lot. I just have huge self confidence issues, always deny myself of what i'm capable of and doubted myself far too many times).
The next day she seemed bit annoyed ( probably to travelling ) like that attitude "yeah, whatever". (and its bit hard to read emotions through chat :/) which was really odd. The latest thing was it snowed yesterday and was saying to her make sure you wear warm clothes getting out of the plane etc. and told her that i had to wear back to my winter clothes. She goes "well i'll just enjoy my stay here while u go do that" after these words i'm just lost. Clearly I don't know what to expect even what to do. So i just replied "hehe yep, Ok gotta go to work bye".
Man I care for this girl soo much, it's just my stupid word choice and saying things without even considering the situations has dug me a big hole. Do you guys think we have a chance? What i'm asking is should I just keep on fighting to win her over until she finds another SO? or should I just abandon ship?
thank you to whoever reads this post and hope you have an amazing day/night. Any advice is much appreciated :) | started chatting with Ex, who I still love (broke up because of me), gave me flairs of hope then suddenly changes. Should I try to keep my relationship? or just let her go? |
t3_1kbqs9 | relationship_advice | My [19F] mom caught my boyfriend [19M] of 2 years, masturbating in my room when I was at work. | Hello!
So this might be a bit odd. Just needed an outside opinion. My boyfriend often sleeps over at my house and it's so often that he basically lives with us. It's a regular thing that on his day off I would go to work and instead of chilling at home, he stays at my place with my family.
I came home one night from work and my mom said that apparently she caught my SO (can I call him that at 19 yrs old lol..?) masturbating in my room with the door wide open, clearly knowing someone was home (someone always is).
She thinks that he might have done it on purpose to get caught, as part of some weird fetish or something... I find that really far fetched as I have been dating him for 2 years and he doesn't seem the type?!?! Is that possible?! She said that sometimes he will take a piss and not fully close the bathroom door (or the same thing with jacking off while I'm out but with the door half closed). Also, one time he walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and "purposefully" turned profile to my mom to show off his morning wood as he drank.
My boyfriend denied that any of it happened, of course. I don't know what to do as he acted quite insulted that my mom would make such accusations and refuses to come over or even apologize for the misunderstanding.
I don't know what to do if it's true? If it is, is it a make/break situation? And what to do if he just forever refuses to face my parents!?
THANKS in advance for input!!!! | My mom caught my boyfriend masturbating more than once and thinks he wanted to get caught by her. He denies it. Don't know who to believe or what to do. |
t3_10thyz | AskReddit | What was your worst first day at work story? | He is mine, It was winter time, had been snowing heavily, I managed to get a shift at the night club, due to them being short staffed. The shift was fine but there was no-one at the door or inside the mens bathroom, so fucking asshole thinks it's funny to block the urinal trough with paper, everyone keeps pissing in it all night never telling any of the staff, It fills up during the night and overflows, 3am music stops and eveyone leave, only then do any of the staff realise whats happen. I'm given the task to clean up, the whole bathroom, with is Inch deep in piss(Not making it up), took an hour, using 8 blue roll, lots of bin bags, and a mop. I'd no choice but to stand in the piss to clean the trough, About 5 minutes in I realised that I had a hole in my shoe, and piss was slowly making it's way into my sock, threw the shoes and sock away when I got home, and the worse thing was I never got paid, as the manager claimed it was a trail shift and they didn't want me. | Cleaned a whole nightclub bathroom, Inch deep in piss with a hole in my shoe, and wasn't paid. FML |
t3_12bp5e | AskReddit | Reddit, what are your awful customer service stories? | So no shit, there I was, trying to get the shattered face of my cell phone repaired. A wild Groupon appeared in my inbox offering a discounted repair from a local and new shop. Naively, I figured this was fantastic - I can support nearby businesses AND get a new screen for my cell phone! Here's how things went down -
Day 1 - Called the store in the afternoon to see if I could come in later. The guy I talked to asked if I could come in the next morning because he was trying to get out of there early. Ok... not the best answer, but maybe he had a rough day.
Day 2 - I trying calling the store, to no answer, so I just go in. According to their website, this is an option. When I get there, there are NO OTHER customers in the store. I was told they were too busy to see me, but could I come back tomorrow. They reluctantly set up an appointment for me.
Day 3 - I go in to finally (yay!) get my screen fixed. The guy who did the repair was pretty speedy, but not particularly friendly. Whatever, I think to myself, I just won't bring electronics here for future repairs.
Day 4 - Try making a phone call on my "fixed" phone. No dice. Apparently the recipient of my phone call can hear me, but all I hear is silence. The only way I can hear the person I'm on the phone with is to put them on speaker. And let's be honest, there are some phone calls you don't really want on speaker.
I call the store (on a friend's phone) to let them know what had happened to my phone. The person I reached got heated very quickly, telling me that the repair he did has nothing to do with the speaker, and if I wanted it fixed I would have to pay for it myself. He didn't have time for me this afternoon and told me to come in tomorrow morning (I can't, I have a job). He said he didn't mean to be an asshole, but that was how he wanted to run his business. So now I'm out $$$ and instead of a broken screen, I have a broken phone.
Anyone know any good repair places in San Diego? | Bought a Groupon to get my phone fixed. Store broke my phone worse than they fixed it and are reluctant to repair their mistake. |
t3_gm9my | relationship_advice | Am I a shitty person, or is this ok? | I have been seeing a friend as a fwb for a few weeks now. We had a talk the other day and decided that (har har har) we are talking. I am not exactly sure what this means, but we decided that we are more than fwb but still single. We agreed that we are not necessarily working toward a relationship, and that we are just going with the flow. So we are fwb+feelings basically.
I have a good friend whom I've known for years, much longer than I have known my new friend (we'll call him Joe). My good friend (we'll call him Peter) and I have a long-distance friendship . . . we met online in a fetish community. We have been strictly friends for years, but there has always been some attraction there. I had been in a relationship since Peter and I had met. He has visited several times, but strictly as a friend. So, the time has come for another visit, and I am single.
But then there is Joe.
My question is . . . would I be a terrible person if I ended up messing around/sleeping with Peter? Should I talk to Joe about the situation? My inclination is to just tell Joe that I have a friend from out of town coming in and I'll be busy for a week, but I can't bring myself to do that atm. I know we are both single, and I would understand if he were messing around with other women, but I care about him and do not want to hurt anyone.
So . . . thoughts? Please, be brutally honest. | I have a fwb+feelings and a friend who is coming to visit. Would I be a terrible person if I messed around with visiting friend without telling fwb+feelings? |
t3_o3bpt | AskReddit | About to be homeless again, trying to find alternatives to the Military | Almost 2 years ago, me and my girlfriend moved out on our own. We lost that apartment because she lost her job and I Was the only one working. We stayed with a friend for a couple weeks and moved to Oregon to stay with her families friends. We left there, my girlfriend went to Indiana for a few months and I came back to Minnesota.
Eventually my girlfriend came back, and we moved into her Grandparents house with her mom so all of us could save money and get back on her own. My girlfriend was lucky enough to get a job but I haven't been able to land one in the 6-7 months we've been here. At first, her grandmother told my girlfriends mom that we could stay there for free so we could get our lives back in order, now she's demanding $800 a month, with only 2 people working and trying to save money.
Having to pay $800 a month wouldn't be bad, except that her mom is moving out in March,and leaving us here so there would only be ONE of us to pay almost a grand every month. If we can't pay her grandma that money every month, then we'll be kicked out. The only way that we'll be able to move out is if we have a couple thousand saved up, we have a co-signer for the apartment that's willing to help when it's necessarily but we can't even put a fucking deposit down because her grandmother is sucking all our money.
The only choice we have no is the military, and according to a friend, the're being way more picky about who joins, and the way my shoulder is right now I wouldn't be able to join. I just need some kind of advice on what the fuck to do, I was couch surfing for months at a time and I just want to be stable. | Me and my girlfriend are close to being homeless **again** and the military is out of the question for me. What the fuck do we do? |
t3_18wua4 | relationships | Am I (16) being ridiculous about her (16)? | I'm a 16 year old male and recently at my school there was a foreign exchange, and many students from Sweden, Finland, France and Spain came here, but only for a week. My friends and I were assigned the Finnish group, and over the course of the week we became good friends. There was one girl in the group who got on particularly well with me and we became close over the week.
Anyway, they have been gone for a while now and while we still talk on Facebook and Skype, I find myself missing her and thinking of her a lot. We're still pretty close and I feel I'm becoming more and more attached to her, even in a not-just-friends way, but the thought that I may never see her in person again is constantly tormenting me. Anyway, I'm not sure whether I really have this strong attachment to her, or I'm just being human, and want what I can't have and fret when it goes away. I'm not sure whether I'm being ridiculous missing her this much or if this is normal. Thoughts would be appreciated, thanks. | I met a girl from Finland on a foreign exchange and we got along well. She is gone now and I don't know if I'm being stupid or not. |
t3_1u1ya9 | relationships | My friend [23M] and his girlfriend [23?F], drinking issues, don't want him to end up in jail | A good friend of mine and his girlfriend have been together maybe a year and a half now. They both like to drink a lot and push each others drinking limits when they're out places. When he gets drunk, he normally just chills, can be sarcastic but never sincerely mean. When she gets drunk, she gets pissed off, screams, gets mad at him over the simplest of things and it starts a HUGE ordeal (AKA SHE IS CRAZY). Several months ago they had a run in with police where their neighbors called the cops over a noise complaint. The cops came and she just started to cry claiming he hit her. There were not even any red marks anywhere on her body. In October they get drunk again, the cops come due to a noise complaint.. and my friend is bleeding from the head.. from where she BIT him. Visible marks.
Anyway, after this event, they split up, she was living away from him. He was waiting for his upcoming court date from the dispute in June. He was sentenced to 1 year probation.They saw each other in court and decided to hang out that night. (Dumb on both of their parts).
Now they are back together, living in their apartment, doing the same as before. She stopped drinking after the whole biting escapade, and just started drinking again this weekend.
We are worried about her causing a scene again one night and getting the cops called, then he will have harsher punishments for breaking probation (which means he could end up in jail for a year). We know it's not our place to say much of anything, if at all, but we're all desperate to help our friend to get out of a toxic relationship... is there anything we can do? | Friend is in a toxic relationship, involving drinking and issues with police. Is there anything we can say or do to prevent our friend from possibly going to jail? |
t3_f670f | self | Put on anti-depressants yesterday and very confused | So yesterday I went to the doctor with some health questions (having issues with ED). After meeting her we talked about everything in my life and she decided it would be best to put me on some anti-depressants. I have thought I needed depressants before but I really wasn't expecting it. And then I went and talked with the girl I have been seeing and that turned out to be a terrible idea. I kinda was freaking out when I went over to talk to her and she basically informed me that she isn't interested in getting into a relationship. We have talked about it before and I was really hoping that I could change how she felt about me. I guess I have just been having a rough couple of days and I just don't know about anything. My doctor also has me working out now and that's about the only thing that is making me feel good. I just feel so overwhelmed with everything I don't really know how to feel or what to do. | Just put on anti-depressants, just realized that girl I've been seeing doesn't really care about me. Very confused and upset looking for advice. |
t3_1xrkrw | relationships | Me [20 M, straight] and my friend's [25 M, gay] 'friendship' has lasted a year and has gradually gotten awkward, how can I turn him down without ruining his confidence? | As a relatively solitary person at college, I met this friend simply out of chance as he was the only person who bothered to talk to me. It just so happened that he is openly gay which I assumed wouldn't be a problem. But I quickly realized he was becoming overly affectionate and just generally expectant of me as if I owed him something or that our relationship was worth a lot more than it is to me. He has never been in a relationship so I feel a sense of responsibility to avoid being too harsh, but the levels of expectation and his attentions towards me are beginning to make me more than uncomfortable. The problem is that I see him all the time at college as we're in the same class but because of my self imposed isolation from everyone else (and mostly from him) he seems to have categorized me as 'his.' I have tried to ask him to respect my boundaries where I identify them but he seems to relish in the idea of breaking that boundary. I find infatuation disturbing. How can I get out of this situation without gaining a stalker (as he seems to be that type) and without destroying him emotionally? | My gay friend is infatuated with me, how can I reject him and set boundaries in how hes behaving without ruining him emotionally and in his general confidence? |
t3_146n85 | AskReddit | What's the worst thing you've been accused for but didn't do? | I was super drunk at this party and made out with a girl that was also super drunk last night. We stopped after a few minutes and she says "Oh my gosh, you're so much better than my boyfriend" I stopped and said "wait you have a boyfriend" then proceeded to lecture her on how she shouldn't have a boyfriend if she's going to cheat on him.
**Here comes the WTF** Then her friends come get her and go inside. One of them comes back out and asks me and this other guy "Who made out with (don't know her name)" I said "I did" and she punched me right in the nose and I started gushing blood . . . Apparently I was taking advantage of her even though she wanted to make out, I lectured her on cheating, we didn't do anything else, I was absolutely hammered, and I didn't give her one drink... | Made out with a drunk chick when I was wasted, stopped making out with her and lectured her when she told me she had a boyfriend and got punched in the face by her friend. Then got accused for taking advantage of her. |
t3_4453nb | relationships | Trying to get back together with my [22] girlfriend [20] of 6 years | Hello everyone, the more advice I can receive the better. I have dated the same girl since high school. When we started she was in grade 9 and I was in grade 11. We were very young and didn't really know what we were getting into but we were always happy. Fast forward 6 years. Still no major problems. No major fights, no cheating, no really big issues that were worth breaking up over in my opinion. Before Christmas she expressed her concern that we have been together a really long time and it was scary that we hadn't known anything that wasn't each other. She mentioned taking a break but we decided against it. About 5 weeks ago she asked me to hangout and broke up with me. She said she was really confused and was unsure if she was still in love with me. At first I wasn't even very upset with the decision. I too had a little doubt in us. Not necessarily in our relationship but just in the fact that we dated for so long. It's not really something you are suppose to do in today's society.
During the 5 weeks I realized very quickly that my doubts were incredibly stupid and that I love her. The first couple weeks we would talk every couple days. The fourth week we talked every single day about our relationship. I explained that we could work at making it exciting again together and she seemed interested in doing so but didn't want to get back together just to break up again. She wants to be sure about us before getting back together so it is fair for both of us and so she isn't changing her mind all the time. I respect that but I also wish we were together.
Many of my female friends gave me advice to avoid contact which will make her miss me more I guess. We have not spoke in a week now. My first question is when does this no contact end? Does she have to approach me first? Also does anyone have any comments or suggestions on the break up and ways I can get this going again. | dated a girl since high school. We broke up cause we thought we were suppose to experience other things. Miss her and want her back. Looking for ways to make her miss me and advice on when to talk to her next. |
t3_23ebce | relationships | I (23f) am worried that my friend (26m) may have feelings for me, don't know whether to ask him or tell my boyfriend (23m) about it. | I have no "concrete evidence" that he actually does, though. The only indications are a feeling I have that he does, and that another friend who met him mentioned that she thought he seemed like he does. He contacts me pretty often and confides in me a lot. Plus I know that he's on the lookout for a girlfriend at the moment, he seems a bit lonely.
We used to be much closer before I moved away but even then he really never said or did anything to send a clear message that he wanted to be more than friends. He has never flirted. But recently I have been feeling very uncomfortable for no real reason and have avoided talking to him as much.
I have a boyfriend who I love very much but I haven't said anything about this to him. I hate not telling him because I feel like I'm hiding it, but I do really value this friend and don't want my boyfriend to be uncomfortable when they see each other. My boyfriend gets pretty jealous. If he definitely does have feelings for me though, I think I will have to stop talking to him for a while.
Should I ask him outright? The thought of this makes me break out into a sweat. It will be torturous. Is there any other way I can find out? Should I tell my boyfriend how I feel about it? Or should I wait until I know for sure before I say anything? | have a feeling friend wants more, don't know how to ask, don't know if I should tell my boyfriend. |
t3_3jekq1 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my friend [30 F] of 4 years. Everyone says I 'upstaged' at her wedding. What do I do? | This is about a European wedding, where bridesmaids and the maid of honor don't usually do any matching dresses or anything, at least not to my knowledge and experience. The weddings I go to usually don't have a specified dress code either, you dress in the best you have, I suppose. It's not to say people look like slobs and hicks, though.
Well, my friend asked me to be MOH to a wedding that happened this past Saturday. I asked what to wear and she said whatever I want. I asked what the theme colors were and such. I picked a dress I thought would be appropriate as a MOH and got plenty of compliments on my look through the night. My friend said I looked amazing, too.
That was all good until another one of my friends who was at the wedding said everyone was talking about how I looked better than the bride and she heard it too. The bride started making comments about it too and everyone got to joking about it on Facebook when the first photos came in. Not saying better, but comments like 'Wow, she looks fancier than you!' sort of comments.
Now my friend isn't talking to me and is telling me I should have been more conscious of what I was wearing and that I didn't have to dress as though I'm going to a ball. Maybe I overdressed. I don't know. I didn't do it on purpose, I simply wanted to honor her wedding by looking my best. What should I do now?
I didn't wear white. | I overdressed for my friend's wedding and don't know how to handle the comments and her being hurt over it. How should I navigate this? What should I tell her? Should I let it blow over? |
t3_4e4zv8 | relationships | My [20 M] GF [19 F] of 1 year has broken up with me after my suggestion of opening up the relationship for an upcoming year of long distance. | As the title suggests, whilst discussing where our relationship could go in the context of my girlfriend studying abroad for a year I brought up the possibility of opening up the relationship for that period of time. She's going to be studying an 8 hour time difference and 10 hour flight away so we would see each other a handful of times at most during this period.
Initially she was receptive and said that although undesirable it may be a realistic option. There are still 4 months before she leaves so we decided to chew it over for a while.
Two weeks later she has come back to me about it. She says that she trusted me and that upon reflection my suggestion constitutes an unforgivable betrayal of that trust. She says that because of this we should just be friends.
I'm confused. During the original conversation I made it very clear that this was something we both had to be very sure that we wanted and that if she didn't agree then I still want to try and make it work. We have both (I can only account for myself but I trust her) been completely faithful during the course of our relationship and trust has never been an issue for us. Although her reaction and emphasis on trust leads me to believe that it may have been for her.
I like her very much. I want to save this relationship. What can I do? | Girlfriend calls my suggestion of an open relationship during a year of long distance a betrayal of her trust and breaks up with me. What can I do? |
t3_kbeod | relationships | What does longevity feel like? | Currently in a 6+ yr relationship (my only long-term relationship). We're both in our early twenties. As of late, I've been starting to feel less enthusiastic about the relationship. I certainly love her, but I'm not confident that I'm *in love* with her anymore. It feels like we've grown in slightly different directions - our interests are different now, and we have less things we enjoy doing together. I'm a bit bored (intellectually and physically) with the relationship.
This being my only long-term relationship thus far, how can I tell if what I'm feeling is a natural side-effect of being in a relationship for so long, or if it is a genuine issue I should address (and contemplate breaking up).
I don't want to end things with her, only to find out that this is what every LTR feels like. I do love her - immensely - but I can't figure out if I've fallen out of love with her, or if I'm just feeling standard effects of longevity.
Any advice? Thanks! | 6+ year relationship and I'm feeling a bit bored (intellectually and physically). How do I figure out if I've fallen out of love, or if this is a standard feeling of long-term relationships. |
t3_joijw | AskReddit | Why does my mother hate me? | Dear Reddit-
Another fucked up family situation I need advice with. I am 22 years old and living at home again with my parents (in their early 50s) and my 20 year old brother. I am very grateful that my parents are letting me live with them again as I finish college, and try to be as unobtrusive as possible, helping occasionally to make dinners and staying out of the way. My Mom treats me like dirt. Every time I talk to her or try to be nice and hang out with her, she shuts me down pretty rudely. She's pretty embittered towards me I guess, because even though I feel like I am making the efforts to try and have a happy relationship, I get the feeling she is not interested. It's kind of crappy to be rejected by your own mother in quasi-adulthood.
What makes it harder to understand is my younger brother also lives in the house, and while he treats my mom very badly (super spoiled, demanding, rude, demeaning) they have a seemingly solid relationship. Its very obvious that she cares about him and makes a lot of effort to be a part of his life and make him feel loved and cared for.
My birthday is coming up next week, and today my Mom refused to plan some kind of celebration.
I mean, I guess I should just get a better job and GTFO, but it's eating at me..... Why? What am I doing wrong reddit? I always wanted that we would be close. How does someone get rejected my their own Mom? | My mother is emotionally detached and suppressive to me, while being very maternal to my (slightly) younger brother. |
t3_35vw9x | relationships | I've changed my mind about wanting children. | I (f26) have never wanted children my whole life. I've been very stubborn about this fact. Kids are expensive, studies show relationships are better without kids involved, I wanted to be able to do what I wanted when I wanted. I made a point in every relationship I have had that this opinion was shared.
Now one year after being married to the man of my dreams (m32), I have started to change my mind. I'm not sure why, there is no logical reason for it. Yet, I am now imagining what life would be like if I had my own kid to take care of.
I haven't told my husband yet. I've dropped a few hints, but haven't had any real discussion about the matter. I'm wondering if I even should.
Right now is not the time to have baby anyhow. I'm still in school and working a stressful full time job. And on top of that I'm getting sick all the time for unknown reasons. I also can't imagine not having a career and am loathe at the prospect of putting a child in day care most of their life. My husband is a great person but I can't see him being a stay at home dad.
So what should I do? | I never wanted kids, but after being married for a year to a man who shared my lack of desire, I have changed my mind. I'm not sure how to proceed. |
t3_4wg8to | relationships | I (24F) have a higher sex drive than my partner (30M) of two and a half years. | I have known that my partner and I have had mismatched sex drives for about two years now. As soon as the "honeymoon" period was over.
We have discussed it; we have argued; we have hurt each other by our frustrations with it, more so my frustrations with it, and today we still have no resolution.
We love each other deeply and my needs are met in every other way, but in the boudoir.
I don't want to hurt him by bringing it up all the time because, I know I have in the past. He has tried so many times to explain to me why he can't get into the mood as easily as I can and I try to accept it, but the truth is that I end up going to bed angry and frustrated.
I feel so frustrated!
I have tried to "please" myself, but it isn't the same.
When we do have sex it has become repetitive and routine. It has to be in the weekend, roughly 3 times a month and its mostly the same positions.
It is rare that I am satisfied.
I don't want anyone else. We have had some amazing times together and more than that we have an amazing partnership. He is my best friend, he takes care of me and he has his quirks that I am desperately attracted to.
I feel like I've come to a halt here. I don't know how else to approach this topic with him.
I want more excitement and more passion. Furthermore, I want the both of us to want that. | How do I approach my boyfriend about wanting more passion in our sex life and more sex without hurting him by bringing up an old issue? |
t3_4pydfh | relationships | Me [19/F] with my former job, not getting paid? | I'll keep this short. I worked at a job for 2-3 weeks before I quit. I did not get paid before I quit, but I have one of the prepaid credit cards that your pay is supposed to go onto. There was a mishap with clocking in/out so for the first week or so I had to write down all my hours (almost 40) and the woman who does payroll said that I would be paid. So now, I have quit, it has been a few weeks since then. It was not really on good terms and I walked out. However, I still need to be paid for the hours I did work (the paycheck would be close to $350, which is a large amount for me with bills/rent/living expenses/etc.). I called last week and the payroll lady said I would be getting paid this weekend. However, it is still not there. I was thinking about waiting until tomorrow to call just to make sure that I am definitely not getting the money.
My question is, should I call and make a deal about this? I have already called twice now. Like I said, I left on bad terms and they are not really overjoyed to hear from me, but I need the money. They are very disorganized over there as well, tons of issues with employees not getting paid right, being shorted for hundreds of dollars, or hours not being recorded right. I feel like this happened, that the week or so I worked was "lost" and they have no record of my hours. Should I just cut this as a loss? I mean, I REALLY need the money and it just seems fair to me, no matter how things were left, that I get paid for the job I did? Just, how do I go forward in this? | Former job has not paid me for work, should I cut my losses or call back and make a deal out of it? |
t3_18ww8k | AskReddit | How can I be more assertive in initiating a relationship with a guy? | I am a 23 year old female with a crippling crush on a man a few years older than me. I have always been pretty shy, but I want to ask him out.
We don't know each other very well, but we've talked (on campus) every couple of days for the last few weeks. I am good looking, and pretty confident that he's single. I think he is interested. He is all smiles when he runs into me, and makes a point of being near me. However, I get the impression that he's a pretty reserved fellow.
I know what I want, I just don't know how to get it. How can I work up the nerve to let him know I'm interested? I'd like to make my interest known before I actually ask him on a "date", if that's possible.
I know the obvious answer is "just be direct!", but I'm scared. How does one go from being quiet and shy to being direct? | I want to let this guy know that I'm into him, but I don't know how and I'm terrified. How can I get over myself and how can I tell him/ask him? |
t3_4tln7z | relationship_advice | I [18/m] think my girlfriend [19/m] is cheating on me | When I first met her a few years ago, she didn't seem like a kind of a person who would hurt anyone. This feeling held up when we started dating last year too.
But ever since she mentioned her past boyfriends a few months back, I always felt paranoid that she still had feelings for at least one of them.
I've always been a bit paranoid when it comes to anything, but I have reasons for thinking this way. She started playing this online game which her ex is obsessed with and avoided talking to me for an entire weekend, saying that she too had become obsessed. She later apologized and I forgave her, but then she said that she was going to start paying a monthly subscription. She had told me that she wasn't going to because she wanted to save up for a car to visit me when I go to college, but that appears to not be the case at the moment. What's more, last night she asked if I would be okay with her ex coming over and helping her set up some stuff on her computer for the online game. I didn't think anything of it, but it occurred to me when I woke up that it shouldn't be that hard to download a few things with help through a web chat.
I never really considered the thought that she would cheat on me with her ex up until now, especially since he cheated on her and left her completely devastated, but I still fear that there might be the chance that she'll cheat on me with him while I'm at college.
I sometimes think I'm being overly paranoid, especially considering the fact that whenever we talk and meet up, we can't take our eyes off of each other and hold each other closely while watching a movie, but other times, I feel as though I've been stabbed in the heart.
I'm not really sure why I feel this way and I feel awful for thinking so. What should I do? | I fear my gf is cheating on me with her ex whom she is still friends with, even though he cheated on her |
t3_348oft | relationships | Me [26 M] been on two dates with [23 F], seems too busy to date | Hi Everyone,
So I've been on two dates with a girl that I met online. I think she is really cool and totally seems into me. During the first date she explained how easy it was to talk to me and that she normally doesn't go on online dates. It was mostly a casual dinner date nothing too romantic.
I asked her out on a 2nd date and we totally hit it off. We flirted and she touched my shoulder as she walked to the bathroom. All signs she was into me. We even kissed a bit and she seemed to get closer and closer to me and feel more comfortable around me over the course of the date. Everything seemed to be going great.
I went on vacation last weekend but still kept in touch with her. She texted me funny things and we kept a flirtatious conversation going. When I get back I asked her if she wanted to do something again this weekend. She explains that she's working a lot and really wont have much time to do anything over the week. She tells me that she might be free at a specific date but that's almost 2 weeks away.
I'm not really sure what to do here and if I should continue pursuing this any further. Yes she still seemed interested in me and still texting me regularly but is it possible she's just too busy to date? I'm still dating other girls and seeing what's out there but I find that I get along with her the best so far. I'm not sure how to handle this situation and if I should offer something really casual like maybe some coffee or something just to keep in touch. I feel like if I don't see her after a while she will just push me aside and forget about me. Is it possible she went cold on me and found someone else? I feel like she legitimately is very busy so I should give her some time for things to calm down for her. It will be almost 3-4 weeks the next time I see her which has never happened to me especially for a 3rd date. Please let me know how I should handle this and if you think she legitimately seems interested in me. | Been on 2 dates with a girl we seemed to hit it off. Asked her out on a 3rd date and seems very busy with work. How should I pursue this girl further or is she just too busy to date? |
t3_uoac6 | relationships | I'm unhappy with my boyfriend, but things are complicated.. | I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. He's only a year older than me (I'm 20F he's 21). I've been real unhappy as of late. I honestly don't see a longterm future with him, and I know life is short and I should move on, but he's been acting really sad/depressed these last few days. I don't want to hurt him, especially when he's down, but I feel like I'm sacrificing my own happiness. He's told me before that if I ever left him he'd be done, he wouldn't try dating other girls, and this makes me feel even more sad about wanting to end things. But, I'm unhappy and I feel trapped. :/ | Not enjoying relationship, but boyfriend acts depressed, and I'm sacrificing my own happiness because I don't want to make it worse. |
t3_3byppk | relationships | My sister [26F] is dating a much older wealthy guy [57M]. Does anyone have any experience dating with such a large age gap? What can we expect? | So my 26 yo sister (also a single mom) met a 57 yo man at a "function". He's a millionaire. They started "dating" and he just started throwing his money around... taking her on extravagant trips, shopping sprees and giving her cash. We all (the family and close friends) assumed she got a sugar daddy and we weren't really excited about it but she's old enough to make her own decisions and she was having fun and it relieved a lot of her financial pressure so we just kind of kept our disapproval to ourselves. Fast forward a few months and this old man divorces his wife (they were just separated prior apparently), introduces my sister to his kids (who are older than her) and she introduces her 4 yo son to him. All of a sudden they are BF/GF. Who she dates is nobody's concern but hers but we are having a hard time coping with the fact that this guy, who's 2 years younger than our dad, will be a fixture in our lives and my nephew's life. We always wanted my nephew's stepdad (my sister's partner) to be like the father he never had, not some old man with grand kids older than my nephew who's going to die of old age by the time he graduates college. I understand that girls date older men... but 30 years older?!?!?! She's only introduced this guy to a few of her friends and her son, none of us adult family members or family friends BTW. Does anyone have any experience with a similar situation? How do these relationships end up? Any advice on how we as a family can better accept this? | My sister is dating a man 30 years older than she is. She introduced him to her 4 yo son. I would like advice on how to accept this new "step dad" figure and any predictions of how this will go. |
t3_2wgqmp | relationships | I (23f) have a great boyfriend (25m), but I've found myself fantasizing about a very good looking guy at work. What does this mean about my feelings for boyfriend? | This work guy is far too sexy. Why do seemingly physically perfect men like this exist? He's got this sexy Irish accent, he's got this sweet look in his eyes all the time, and you can tell he's a kind person because of the job we do (I can't give myself away, but it's in a centre helping previously abused children). And he's stupidly good looking, and he's funny and he's easy to get along with. Goddammit!
But my boyfriend's great too, and I remember when I thought he was pretty much perfect- but I've gotten to know him and his flaws. So it's a more stable, real feeling of love that I now have for him.
But do I really properly love my boyfriend if my brain is trying to get me to fantasize about this Irish guy? I'd never act on these niggly little thoughts & feelings, but they remain there when Irish guy has a cheeky little look in his eyes or whatever.
And I've got to be honest- I feel like my boyfriend's moving our relationship along a bit fast (we've already talked about marriage and kid's names after like 4 months together- a year of being friends first), and I feel like our opinions differ on some things that really matter to me. E.g. He was making pretty badly sexist jokes with me and his friends the other day, and he couldn't see why this would upset me/ cause me to be annoyed. | Having niggly doubts about the compatibility of me and the boyfriend, as well as niggly little thoughts about the sexy Irish guy at work. Ahhh! help!! |
t3_3yzw1i | relationships | I [28 M] went out to New Year's Eve dinner with my sister [26 F] and she stiffed me with the bill. What do I do? | My sister and her partner asked my girlfriend and I out for dinner on New Year's Eve a few days ago. She said it was "our treat" in her text/invitation. I thought this was a nice gesture as we live quite far away and are rarely back in town (for the holidays).
Fast forward to this evening, we meet them for dinner at a place we've been to before. Dinner goes great but I see because it's New Years that it's a fixed price 55$. I think ok, this will be good in not very hungry as I had Chinese for lunch but I'm sure it will taste good. Over the course of the meal they insist my girlfriend gets drinks, wine, (I'm DDing tonight) and they order her some strange liqueur on the rocks because they're quite enamoured with it. My girlfriend has two sips and sets it aside.
Throughout the dinner my sisters partner is swearing loudly in this cool toned restaurant of mostly older couples and is sharing stories I would never want to know about.
Now the bill comes and my sisters partner tells the waiter to get seperate cheques. They pay with a gift certificate my mother gave them for Xmas and leave us with a bill of $176.45 for our "half". I, not wanting to destroy my relationship with my sister pay for our food that I did not even want. We purposely did not go out this year to save money, and we ended up spending the same if not more than we would have at the place we wanted to go. This ruined our evening in a way. We pressed on though and spent some time with friends playing cards against humanity/watching the ball drop. Total price for that $5 for our two coffees + tip at Tim's.
What should I do? | went out to dinner with sister, she stiffed us with half the bill despite texting 'our treat'. We make the best of a disappointing evening :-) |
t3_ujs83 | relationship_advice | [25/m] I want to get back together with my ex/very good friend (23/f). | I dated my ex for about three months about a year and a half ago. Things felt great while we were together. I was a bit immature during some parts of the relationship. She distanced herself which lead me to be more immature. Stupid on my part.
She ended it with me.
Then, I decided to not call her or make an effort to see her anymore. She would still call me. We went about three months without talking. We had planned and bought tickets to go on a trip together while we were together. We both went. Things were weird between us during the trip.
After the trip, we would see each other (not sexually) off and on for about four months after the trip. We stop talking for a bit.
One day we go out to dinner and since that dinner I have been spending two to three days a week with her for the last three months (still not sexually).
Currently, while we are together we flirt a lot. We are constantly touching each other. Rubbing against each other while walking, leaning on each other, sometimes she will take my arm while we are walking etc. For an example, today we were on her bed watching a movie. At first we were distant, but by the end I was laying face down and she was resting herself on my back.
This part kills me to even write down. So after this, I felt we shared an intimate moment in her room but I couldn't get myself to attempt to kiss her or anything. Instead I tell her that I had feelings for her. As I left her room I put my hand on her shoulder and said, "Sorry but this is going to be a bit awkward saying this, I have a crush on you." Her response was "I don't know what to tell you." Then I turned and walked away.
If she were anyone else I would have made a very strong move but she had rejected me on many accounts when we were breaking up.
I don't know where I should go from here. I feel like keeping up a strong friendship is not going to be possible. My feelings will get in the way. | I have been spending a lot of time with my ex and have gained feelings for her again and want to date her. Not sure what to do. |
t3_t652w | relationships | Boyfriend invited me to his parents wedding, then uninvited me . | This is a long post, so in advance.. sorry for the long post
Some info: I'm 21, he's 20, we've been together for a year and 7 months.
He has met my parents, and they love him. I've never met his parents. I asked him once about meeting his parents, and he said his mother doesn't call me his girlfriend, she calls me his "friend". It seems like she has no interest in meeting me.
A few months ago, he told me that his parents were getting married and his mother told him to tell me if i wanted to go. I said I'd go, but I'd be very nervous since I've never met anyone in his family. A few weeks later, we were talking about it and he said that it was better if I didn't go, so I won't be "overwhelmed". At first I didn't see this as a big deal, but the more I thought about it, the more it made me feel bad. A week later I find out his best friend is going, and his cousin's girlfriend (who knows nobody in the family either besides my boyfriend and his sister). The fact that he invited his cousins girlfriend, but not his own girlfriend just makes me feel a lot worse.
The wedding is Sunday. I haven't seen him in two weeks because of work/school/our schedules/him planning out the wedding with his parents. These past few days I haven't really spoken to him, and today I'm more angry if anything. I have a really hard time talking about my feelings (due to past experiences). I did not tell any of my family or friends this, this is embarrassing to me. I do love him, but at this point I just really want to be alone. We have gotten in arguments before (nothing major), but this time I just don't know if I can forgive him. Maybe I'm exaggerating, I don't know.
How do I explain to this to him? Any advice would be appreciated.. | My boyfriend invited me and then uninvited me to his parents wedding, and I've never met them. I'm pretty down about this. . How can I explain this to him? |
t3_4geddj | offmychest | I fucking hate how I screw up with girls!! | Ya know what?... Im fucking sick and fucking tired of the amount fucking bullshit I give myself when it comes to girls. Ill like a girl... Then I wait too fucking long too fucking long to fucking say anything. Then she fucking becomes fucking taken because I had to be the fucking idiot who fucking waited too fucking long to fucking say anything!! I wait too fucking long to fucking anything. I fuck up all the fucking time when comes to this fucking bullshit!! I fucking hate that I will have fucking thing for someone, and for a long ass fucking time too, not just a week or two. I will like her for a fucking long ass time. For fucking example, the current fucking girl I like I fucked up by me, being a fucking idiot, I waited too fucking long to start talking to her, so i fuck up and she becomes taken. I know none of this shit is her fault. She can like and do whatever the fuck she wants. I fucking respect her enough to let her be with whatever makes her happy. It is just an awful fucking feeling to like someone so fucking much and then you fuck it all fucking up for yourself. I was gonna ask this fucking girl to prom (yes, im that young, dont judge). I had all the fucking signs made. I was gonna put her fucking name on the fucking bus leaving from tech (Technical school provided by the county)! I was gonna have the bus fucking stop in front of the fucking Millcreek (neighboring town) buses and I gonna fucking ask her to fucking prom. Well guess what fucking happened? I didnt fucking talk to her beforehand. I didnt fucking get to know her in the fucking months before. I fuck up by not doing any of the fucking shit I fucking should have done. I have always fucking done this to myself. I never have the fucking courage or confidence to fucking do any of this bullshit. And you know what?.. I fucking do for the next girl, and then the next one. I've fucking done it for the last girl, and the fucking one before. FUCK!!! | I always wait too fucking long to make a move on a girl. I never have the fucking confidence or courage to do so. |
t3_emfbb | AskReddit | After a five year break I've decided to return to school to finish my undergraduate degree. Today I completed the paperwork to return and I am able to enroll for the spring semester friday. Now I'm faced with a dilema... | I've been with my current employer for almost two years and as such am eligible for tuition reimbursement. However, because of the rotating schedules at work I have very limited flexibility to actually attend classes. My manager will "adjust" my schedule for me ONE day every week to allow me to attend ONE class a semester.
At that rate I'll finish my degree in about 6 years. Which wouldn't be a big deal but, I'm nearly halfway through my Junior year credit-wise. That's a crazy long time for what should normally take a year and a half.
I can get financial aid to pay for school but then I will be left with a moderate amount of debt and as of yet I've made it this far with $0 education related debt. If I go this route I don't know how I'll make ends meet outside of school, IE feed and house my family.
I'm trying to get an outside view of the situation and maybe think outside the box. Maybe a fellow redditor has been down this road before...
Are there means with which an adult with a mortgage and kids can make ends meet while attending school full time? Or am I doomed to graduate shortly before my 40th birthday? | Can have work pay for school but will take 6 years to finish, or use financial aid and finish in a little over year but don't know how to survive during that time. |
t3_3tycof | personalfinance | Good job plan B? | Hi all,
Ill try to keep this short, but I recently got out of the air force (loved being in but my enlistment was up) and am currently using my gi bill to pay for my long dream of helicopter flight school. I love it but the longer I do it the more I realise jobs may be sparse and scarier still how easy it is to lose your license, due to medical or whatever.
So it really has me thinking of a plan B. I hated my air force job, but I'm eligible to return to service as a linguist, and I'm really considering it. Even if I only go to the DLI and then stay in the reserves I think it would be a great ace in my back pocket of anything should ever happen. A couple of my friends are linguist and always rave about how easy it is and how they can so easily get a great paying job in the civilian world.
Does finishing flight school then going to linguist school sound like a smart plan? | going to flight school scared of how easy it is to lose license, want plan B thinking of rejoining air force as linguist |
t3_4o1pb4 | relationships | My [25 M] SO [25 F] of 1 month just found out she has herpes. Need help on what to consider moving forward. | So yesterday my girlfriend of 1 month told me that her ex gave her herpes while they were together (about 2 months ago). Apparently he never told her. She found out last week after visiting the gyno to look into some pain she was having.
We had sex twice before she started looking into what was going on. We have since stopped since she started going to the gyno (she claimed other reasons before she was sure what was going on, but obviously didn't want to take any chances). Obviously I'm going to visit the doctor this week to see whether or not I've gotten it.
The thing is... if I get tested and don't have it, it will make the decision on whether or not to stay with her much more difficult. Obviously if I already have it (which would suck) then I don't have much else to lose by staying with her. So if I come back clean, I have to decide whether or not I am prepared to continue being with this woman and potentially exposing myself to contracting herpes. She is an incredible woman that I could easily see myself being in a long term relationship with. I honestly haven't been this excited about a relationship in a very long time.
So my question(s) is:
-What are the things I should consider when making this decision?
-What are your experiences (if any) in dealing with a relationship like this?
-Could this potentially have a negative impact on the relationship if I'm clean and choose to move forward?
Obviously this is a big decision that I will ultimately need to make myself. But I just want to make sure I have all things considered when I make this decision. Thanks in advance for your help. | GF got herpes from a previous relationship and just found out 1 month into ours. Need help on how to approach making the decision to stay or leave. |
t3_l6r6n | AskReddit | My roommate's cat damaged my $1300 laptop. She owes me the repair money, right? | So I live with three roommates: R, E and V. V was gone for the weekeed and E's little brother P was crashing on our couch. We were all hanging out the other night watching tv (no alcohol), I put my laptop on the coffee table and went to bed. At that time, there were snacks and drinks around the living room. Now, E's cat knocks over any drinks left out overnight, so I have repeatedly told everyone to make sure they leave no drinks out.
I get up the next day and leave without looking at my laptop. When I get back in the evening, I pick up my laptop from what appears to be a clean table. The bottom of my laptop (a 13" Macbook Pro) is soaked. I won't turn on, nothing works, the powercord light doesn't do anything (it was plugged in while wet). My boyfriend and brother-in-law, both computer savvy, say they can get the files off probably but it will need some heavy repair.
I don't know who left the cup out for the cat to knock over. No one will admit to leaving a cup out or knocking over anything themselves. E says she found a cup on the floor by the table in the morning. I am 99% sure someone left a cup out, E's cat knocked it over.
E owes me the repair money right? I can't do my online classes or my job without that laptop. (I telecommute from home.) I don't expect a new computer, mine was two years old, but at least the repairs on this one. And there is no way my California renter's insurance will pay for it, right? | No one admits guilt, E's cat 99% knocked water on my laptop and whoever cleaned it up (as the table appeared clean) didn't pick up my laptop. Laptop dead now. |
t3_52afci | relationships | My friend [16 F] and her boyfriend [16 M] seem to have a relationship which is on the rocks. How can I help her? | Just for reference purposes, I am a 16 year old male.
My friend's relationship (we'll call her Liz) with her boyfriend (we'll call him Tom) has been going for roughly 6 months and now seems to be getting to the stage where Tom seems to be at the point where he's losing attachment.
This has only really sprung up in the past week or two but seems to be getting worse by the day. He has been ignoring her messages for up to an hour (he has been active on the app during this time) and it is starting to get to her. She has called me crying at night asking me what to do but it's starting to get me down as I see her as a sister and I detest to see her in this state. During these calls I tell her what I have to say, but this has occurred a number of times now and I have ran out of advice. I seem to be repeating myself. I know it may all be down to us being naive and inexperienced 16 year olds but I really care about her well-being.
However the reason I am posting this here is because she seems to be getting into these 'fights' with her boyfriend but then the next day or even hour it seems they are back to normal as they used to be and I was wondering if this behaviour is normal in relationships as I am too young to really get a grasp on what serious relationships (ones over the length of 6 months) are actually like. The thought that I may be looking into the situation too deeply has occurred to me, the thought that her emotions may be exaggerated due to our hormonal teenage bodies has also occurred to me has also occurred to me. I really do not know what to think.
Again, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. | My friend has a relationship which seems to be heading on the downhill as her boyfriend is being an ass but I really do not know what to think. |
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