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i am a stalker and a manipulator okay so i have always had these tendencies to stalk i guess and their coming back again for example bf does not txt after a few hours days i drive by his house to check if he is home check mutual friends to see if he went out yesterday he did not tell me anything and so i drove by where i thought he was and checked to see if his car was there i know it is a trust thing and i have always had that problem with any guy not just him i know it is bad and i feel just horrible about it guilty i also lied about my car not working to see if he d come and help me twice now at random hours of the night one time he did second time his phone was dead how do i just trust i have done so many things in the past such as lied to an ex about being preggo for 3 months he was away and i wanted him back i feel horrible for all i have done and i do not know why i even do it i m getting help therapy but i do not know what else to do | guilt |
pathetic attempt to explain why i wish i was not this stupid i wish i was not too proud and stubborn to ask for help when i needed it i wish i was not too afraid to show my emotions i wish i did not swallow my words just to keep my pride i wish i was more honest i wish i had admitted that i have a problem i wish that it was easy to be imperfect i wish i had n t given up on my dreams i wish i did not crumble i wish i was not a coward but i am and it is too late now i lost myself | regret |
i regret not following my sister that day one day my sister came into my room and she was all sad and shit cuz our parents marriage is a shit show so she was sulking about dad and his other family and how he never pays attention to us the last thing she said before leaving my room was im gon na go kill myself so i said do not do that but i didnt follow her because i thought she was joking since she says that sometimes next day she doesnt come out of her room all day and its locked so we couldnt get in at this point im really scared so i go get her room key because we each had a key to each others rooms and i opened the door and shes laying there in her own blood with a knife in her neck its my fault shes dead because i didnt follow her to stop her when i had the chance and i regret it every day of my life | regret |
i m procrastinating more and more everyday at my work i dont know why the pay is good but somehow i have lost the motivation to deal with the huge pile of work and reports in front of me when i first came here i was the most hard working employee but now i just procrastinate fuck | regret |
I forgive and trust people so easily I'm so fuckkng stupid | guilt |
When I was in the puberty I smashed the favourite toy of my ÃÂá
little brother because of a fit of rage. | guilt |
my biggest most idiotic mistake i have ever made so to start of as a kid and even my early teens i had been noting more than a perfect kid kind and polite healthy put others before myself and most important and the topic of today i looked after my teeth for about 1112 years i have neglected my oral hygiene i would only brush my teeth here and there i would say i brushed my teeth once a month or once every three months contrary to popular belief your teeth do not fall out the ironic thing is 1 my bottom row of teeth actually do not look too bad and 2 i have only got two teeth gone both molars and they do not look all damaged on their own like someone brushing their teeth you have to cause it ie eating hard foods or receiving physical damage focused on your mouth however the pain that is different on small occations i get pain out of the blue but surprisingly it is not all of the time that being said i am not saying stop brushing in fact out of all the brain dead stupid things i did in life this is the biggest regret despite this my boyfriend is so kind and loving still kissing me despite this keep brushing your teeth people you do not want this | regret |
i lie a lot ama so i have been in highschool for a few years but i have this huge problem i lie a lot people think he is just saying i did not do this no i have a lie going about that my ex girlfriend nonexistant and i had a suicide pact i had 3 girls begging at my feet and it felt good but not i just want all my lies to go away the fact of the matter is if the lie is seriouds enough i can not stop any way of helping me reddit | regret |
not trying i regret not trying in school and seeing my real potential now i work in construction and do not get me wrong i make good money | regret |
i threatened to kill myself when drunk so basically i met up with some school friends and there was a girl there who i knew from school but we never actually spoke anyways as the night went on it came to my attention that i was incredibly fond of her and she was my ideal type i do not think she was fond of me but she enjoyed my company anyways i got incredibly drunk and she had a bit to drink but not as much as i did i can not remember how but we ended up cuddling up to each other and because i was drunk i started telling her that i was really into her but i said nothing sexual and i also started talking about my mental health struggles and saying that i wanted to kill myself sometimes i then asked her to kiss me on the cheek and she did and right after i asked if we can kiss on the lips which she said no to the i said i will not kill myself if you kiss me she then leant in to kiss but i expected it just to be a peck but it was a full on 10 second snog when i woke up in the morning i texted her and asked her if she was alright about the whole thing and she said she was but i m taking that with a pinch of salt this happened about 5 months ago and i still feel incredibly guilty about it i was talking so much shit that night and i really can not understand why i said what i said i would not have killed myself if she did not do it please let me know your thoughts on it many thanks | regret |
confessions of a 16year old ama if you want i have not been a virgin since i was fourteen the guy i lost it to was 19 we had a strong relationship for a year and eight months i still had fun while it lasted i have cheated two times in my past i regret sleeping with my ex boyfriend who dearly wanted to get into my pants my current boyfriend has an aborted child we have been dating for over three months now i used to be curious about being a transvestite i have been invited to a threesome before but i declined this is not much of a confession but it helps me clear my head not much to really add to this | regret |
i kiss people even though i do not want to i do not know why i do this i am an easy person to vibe with and i often talk to people i am not attracted to because they are cool but then whenever this happens the guy says kiss me or just expects me to in turn i do but i m not happy and just want to get it over with so we can continue talking this happened to me last night and once again i was too pathetic to not say no this guy followed me around all night to three different cities but i actually did not want him with me why do i let this happen also he lost his friend and phone and wallet so i paid for him to get into a club and drove him home eventually i just feel like i should not have had to do any of that it is wack but it is my own fault i always regret not saying no | regret |
regret not beating someone up so i was in school on friday and was having to clean up the art room for spring break since we were working with clay i was working on the wooden boards you use to not stain the tables and once i was done with that i went to sleep the floors when that one kid that thinks he is the shit and nobody likes tried to wrench it out of my hands like he was all cool now him being bigger than me and allbeit stronger than me got positioned behind me and began to try to choke me out with a broom now we were in a classroom full of people and the teacher was right next to us yelling at him and i totally could ve elbowed him in the face from the position we were in but since i m a goody two shoes i did not because i did not want to get in any trouble totally should have totally did not | regret |
i almost got tboned because of not fully cheching the street while taking a turn today i did not pull out enough to see oncoming cars from one side and nearly got tboned my apologies to the guy that almost hit me thank you for paying attention to the road and braking in time | guilt |
i regret giving another chance this is a heartbreak story i guess i know it is not advised to give a second third or forth chances to someone who has repeatedly mistreated you but i do not know what happened to me i had just come back after living abroad for three years it had been 5 since i had talk or seen that person and i was fine but he contacted me and to be polite i met with him and he told me he would like to know me again and i fell for that because it was some i knew for a very long time and i felt a connection everything was going well for a year until he said he needed time and then he broke up with me again he was done with me i felt like garbage like an empty container who has served its purpose like a checklist for him it was ending things amicably instead of cheating like he had done in the past or telling lies but for me it just hurt like hell i had never felt such pain and now i just regret that chance i gave him i regret all the words i said to him i regret all the secrets i shared i regret everything because i feel so stupid i feel so naive so trustful i feel guilty i feel like not enough and he is living with the next girl yes i know it was just a bad decision i know this things happen and is normal i also know are more pressing issues in the world but if anyone who is reading this is thinking about giving second third or fourth chances this is the voice that advocates for a no honey | regret |
This girl I've been with for two years who wanted to have a future with me left. She went up and left me. No explanation and she yelled at me..made me feel like I did something wrong .
What did I do wrong ... How can I make her come back .... What the hell is wrong with me | guilt |
should ve let my company fire me before the shutdown my boss came to me and said they were conducting layoffs and if i wanted to leave i should let him know right then and there and they would terminate me and that it could save another person s job i have always hated this position i hate the people i work for and the job is causing me nothing but stress and i think i m actually a worse version of myself because i work there x200b due to the uncertainty of the time i said that i would like to stay i genuinely regret not taking unemployment and trying my hand in the job market as a free agent now i m taking interviews during my lunch break because they will not allow me any time off to go to any if they knew i was searching they would fire me and i can not sleep because i have stress dreams about being screamed at and called stupid x200b i wish i had just let them fire me i know this is insensitive but i would rather deal with financial insecurity than be berated and belittled almost every single day i also regret not letting someone else keep their job i m probably going to quit here very soon and just see what happens i could ve been collecting unemployment making more than i do in my normal job and been 100x happier | regret |
i regret beeing a distruct full kid today my mom showed me vids of me beeing young and my first christmas where i got gifts i think i was 23 yo my dad was a construction worked at his own company back then it was 7 people taking small jobs biggest job was building a house from 0 he made money hard especially in the winter they bought me toys for christmas and beeing a distruct full kid in a 5 moths i destroyed them only now beeing older and seeing mt struggles my dad went through i regret destroying them | regret |
When I did not succeed in finding a job after having finished a ÃÂá
nonacademic degree. | regret |
regret confessing to my crush i confessed to my crush of 2 years we had lost contact for about a year and reconnected i had always had feelings for her so i told her i was interested exploring it and i wanted to see where things would go you know casually and with expectations because dating is getting to know someone and learning if you re even compatible with them but she is way too committed i told her we should take it slow but it is only been a week since we decided to date and she is already telling people that i m her gf she did not even discuss it with me before hand it is way too much for me and i almost regret saying anything to her at all i m starting to dread her texts and calls i care about her and i think she is an amazing person but i can not match her energy i feel like a fall is inevitable and i wish i would have just left well enough alone i feel like an asshole | regret |
had my first car wreck today
yay
rear ended a guy
said sorry as soon as i got out of the car
he told me 'you /should/ be' and that it was his moms car
and then just kidna told me to be more careful next tome and went off so i
dont have much to worry about because the insurance bill wont be higher
and im fine
but the cars kinda fucked up
so thats at least a thousand worth of damage | guilt |
i feel this regret that i have not enjoyed my life in my 20 s so far i m 24m turning 25 next week and not feeling the best about myself so my birthday is next week and i m about to turn 25 i m doing much better with myself than in recent years i got my first job back in july of this year i m also back in college after four years of not being in school i have been through depression social anxiety and ocd it is been a real struggle over the past few years but i got the help i need with my ocd now i m doing better to the point that i m able to get my first job this year and enroll back in college for this fall semester i m very happy about where i m going with life but i still feel this regret wasting my years so far in my early 20 s now that i m entering my mid to late 20s i feel this huge regret of not going out dating having a social life all because of my anxiety and also not putting my effort or putting myself out there when i go to a mall i see people way younger than i am and it makes me feel man why i did not have friends or girlfriends referring to my teen years where i was a really shy guy because of being special ed i always felt selfconscious about myself seeing groups of people having fun kind of makes me feel down and sad and i have no dating experience at all now that i m reaching 25 in a week from now the regrets of not doing anything i missed experiences like going to senior prom because i had no friends at all and i thought i would be the odd man there with nobody to talk to and just general experience of doing things in my teenearly 20 s ugh in my job i try to have fun when interacting with customers and many laugh and they seem to enjoy having convos with me so i know i have potential but i barely have social skills and to approach people to a convo i always get stuck in my head because i do not what to say and i always have the regret thing in my mind i know i have to invest in myself love me for me and invest in new hobbies i m starting bachata class and i m trying my best to get myself out there i know this is long but thank you for reading | regret |
So I've been dreaming about my ex everday for the past week. And i don't know what to do. | guilt |
i accidentally hurt my cat while playing with my cat today i saw a lighter on the kitchen table and pulled it towards me as if it were a snack to scare my cat then i lit the lighter and the hairs under his chin burned a little i immediately took water in my hand and rubbed his chin and checked it did not look like he was hurting it is fine now just a little scared there was a burning smell in the air and when i realized it i felt really bad | regret |
I feel like a bad person for not wanting to be friends with our in person friend anymore. ItâÃÂÃÂs not that sheâÃÂÃÂs a bad person. SheâÃÂÃÂs just not exactly a good friend. In some ways she is and in other ways sheâÃÂÃÂs inconsiderate and is always thinking of herself first no matter what. She doesnâÃÂÃÂt consider how things she says will make us feel. This friendship went from fulfilling to almost completely draining. She doesnâÃÂÃÂt fulfill most if any of our needs any more. Yet I still feel bad and like a bad person. -ðÃÂÃÂë | guilt |
i miss you everyday she was my best friend during highschool and we spent everyday together we always hung out on weekends and texted each other constantly we knew pretty much everything about each other she was pretty much the girl version of me i mean for god sake her planned name if she was a boy was literally my name we were best friends for four years before we eventually confessed our feelings for one another and then i freaked i do not know why it even happened i was head over heels for her and i fucked it up after that we were still friends but i drifted apart and pretty much lost all my other friends because i cut them off i stopped going to school and was taking handfuls of painkillers at a time i did not get out of bed for about two months and i still struggle with suicide everyday i have pretty much lost all my motivation for everything i could n t care less about being alive or dead and somedays it feels like it d be a relief to just not wake up at all it just feels like i m existing | regret |
I forgot to convey an important announcement. | guilt |
my anxiety is thru the roof and i want to die | guilt |
should have asked her contact i live in a tourist city when i was going home on the public transport i saw a girl that fits my ideal type and i was literally in love but i had n t any courage to ask her contact even if she have said no i would not mind at least i tried unfortunately she got off on a different station from mine and i m 9999 sure she is a tourist so i will never see her again i will regret for not asking her contact for a looooong time | regret |
not being strong i regret not being strong during my school days not standing up for her beside her i hate myself for it | regret |
slept with my brother my brother is two years older than me our dad died when i was ten and while we had been close already we got a lot closer after that being raised by a single mom who worked a lot of night shifts meant we had to fend for ourselves after school and would try to look out for each other basically we were very close siblings there was never anything too sexual until i was 15 i had always thought my brother was cute but figured it was just because he was family and while i did fantasize once or twice i told myself i would never really act on anything like that one evening i was laying on the couch while our mom was gone and woke up to him rubbing my leg i did not stop him and from then on there was occasional touching flirting and some showing off to one another when he was going to go off to college he asked if i could get him off i obliged and enjoyed myself it was the first time i had performed oral although i did feel guilty afterwards and have never told anyone while he was at college we still talked every day he would tell me about classes and about girls he was interested in which surprisingly made me jealous the summer before i was about to go off to college he stayed at home it had been awhile since we were living together and we had n t done anything sexual since he went to school i figured he was just sort of over it and actually thought that i was lucky that we had never had sex one day in july though while my mom is at work he comes into my room and without going into too much detail we have sex i told him i was kind of ashamed at what we did and while he says he is too we end up having sex yet again a few weeks later that was about a year ago we got kind of distant after it i just want to move on now and have a normal life i do not ever want to tell anyone that i know and i m terrified at the thought of him telling someone i know that it was wrong for a lot of reasons and i hate that i could n t control myself | regret |
i have a regret of not getting the nintendo switch earlier in 2017 when i was 11 my mum asked me if i wanted a phone or a nintendo switch and i chose phone then i got the switch a month after animal crossing new horizons came out i could ve got it in 2018 as well but i do not know why i did not | regret |
paint it shall be i was supposed to attend a lengthy personalchallenge retreat where i would confront the walls which have held me back in family work relationships life for once i succumbed to seeing the tiniest of glimmers a sudden change in circumstance now bars my attendance diligently exploring options to bypass what prevents me from going were unsuccessful i can not attend a few months ago i was offered an ongoing bodypaint porn gig anonymity is assured by each centimeter of skin being covered in vibrant paint care of an old aquaintance it would only be with him if i like additional partnersmodels later should i choose the thought made my stomach lurch and i declined sometimes you realize the crossroads were not there to begin with his offer will now be accepted i m good at going numb | regret |
When I wished secretly and lied to a friend of mine because I ÃÂá
didn't want her to stay in my house on the beach (as she always ÃÂá
does), and wouldn't stick on me. | guilt |
regret most significant decisions i have made in the past 23 years i regret not getting into an extra program to get a 2nd degree while i got my first because i wanted to be done and get a masters abroad which would not have been possible due to covid anyway i regret choosing a bad thesis advisor which made me reject several opportunities because i felt i did not have time to do anything else because i felt so much pressure only for it to not be fruitful i just lost my goddamn time i regret not getting that job which could ve paid for that program i mentioned earlier after i finished my normal classes and was looking into the program again even if that one thesis was not fruitful at least i would have had money some professional development etc i regret that even if i had n t gotten that job at least i could ve gotten a master s here i also regret not working harder during my undergrad i really wanted to but for some reason couldn t x200b i just have not gotten anything of value in the last 3 years mostly because of my bad advisor but i should have taken all those decisions for me and not to hopefully please him | regret |
Welp. Got pulled over this morning cause of speeding in a mf school zone. âÃÂúâÃÂúâÃÂúâÃÂúâÃÂúâÃÂúâÃÂúâÃÂúâÃÂúâÃÂúðÃÂÃÂë | guilt |
In a situation with my girlfriend I took a decision. Later when ÃÂá
I thought about it, I realized that it was an erroneous decision. | guilt |
I happened to have met one of my teachers in town during working ÃÂá
hours. The badness was I didn't ask for permission to go out and ÃÂá
I was guilty-conscious. | guilt |
i was sometimes a huge asshole to my bulimic ex gf we were together for four years she told me she had an eating disorder 25 years into it things starting going sour between us about two years in she was neglectful a total bitch at times and she verbally abused everyone she knew behind their backs she did terrible things to me she withheld information i once called her to find out she was bombed out of her mind in the city drove to pick her up and she is with some other random guy from work and she proceeded to get in a car with him and drive off she acted out of her mind sometimes and i had no idea why that was before i knew about the eating disorder she blamed all of her erratic behaviors on it by the time she told me it was too late i was too resentful and bitter especially because she never made attempts to make things right we would have these amazingly complex fights and i would get so mixed up in them emotionally that i could n t stop myself from being a complete asshole to her we split in december last year and recently tried to reboot the relationship after she told me she could n t live without me i made a valid effort to change and be understanding and in my opinion i did i wonderful job but she ended up just manipulating me and never made an attempt to change things on her part she was also emotionally and verbally abusive i started to feel myself quickly losing tolerance and returning to that asshole state we broke things off again recently i know it is not all my fault she is out of her mind and i m pretty sure she is got some other undiagnosed personality disorders aside from her eating disorder it is tough to make things work with someone like that she is getting help and able to manage herself somewhat now but i feel like a fucking jerk for how i used to treat her while i never cheated or harmed her physically i turned into a real passive aggressive douche fin | regret |
well that is another regret on the list i fell for this girl at work for no reason at all to be honest i m just lonely we started to get to know each other but just as colleagues i have no idea how i fell for her but it happened and just when we started getting eal friendly and my confidence was growing even started to care more about my appearance and today i got the worst fucking possible news she now has a date with a lad i m friends with on wednesday fuck i should have made a move sooner but nope i m just too fucking pathetic why oh why do i have to be this way i should have just asked her out or some shit or just tried harder fuck man this shit hurts | regret |
I took some money from my parent's house without asking them for ÃÂá
it, and I was caught red handed. | guilt |
i m only attracted to pre teens and it is making my life difficult i have tried to date adult women before but i can not do anything in bed because i can not get it up most co workers have started to think i m a homosexual and i can not explain it to them the first time this happened i was 17 when i tried to lose my virginity to a prostitute but it did not work i have no problems getting it up when thinking of preteens 12yo and under though and that is the problem specially when they wear eyepatches victorian dresses tiaras swimsuits long socks leotards or a combination of these my favorite time of the year is halloween i can not really explain this either it just works not with adult women though and it gets me going in no time in fact i have this little sanctuary where i keep my collection and just being close to it makes me feel safe i have been using drawn japanese porn hentai as an outlet ever since i was 15 but it is not very satisfying since the best artists only do consensual stories and most of my fantasies are a little dark i do not actually consider myself a threat to society because i do not possess the knowledge or skills required to do it and get away with it another thing that obsesses me is defloration when i look at an adult woman i can tell she is already been used and this casts a huge shadow over her and most of my fantasies involve virgins i have only started this job a couple months ago and most coworkers already think i m gay the same happened in highschool my family keeps asking me when i m going to get a girlfriend and get married but i can not and i just do not know what to do it is really frustrating a relative tried to hook me up with a friend of hers some time ago and when i had to turn her down she got very offended is my sexuality decided by my genes or my upbringing i wish there was i way i could just press a button and make my mind see adult women in the same way i see children i do not actually want to stop feeling what i feel towards little girls though i have been doing it for so long that i had no idea what i would do if i stopped i would become a completely different person i just want to fit in with my co workers and family better you can ask me anything | regret |
sticky while i was cleaning the kitchen and all of the sticky crap it struck me when you have a child the house you your kid and your clothes are always covered in something sticky its something that ive not hesrd too many people talk about but honestly its something that if you are a clean person you will find depressing it started from birth where you are leaking pure sugar water from your body for my son anyway he had severe reflux so i was covered in both vomit and sticky milk for 6 hellish months pair it with limited time for basic self care like bathing and brushing your teeth and changing clothes and its pure pure hell we couldnt drive down the street for 5 mins with our son without the whole carseat and him being covered in vomit this went on at least a year and slowly got better then when they chsnge to pureed food or whatever its the same thing you are covered in sticky crap even now my son is 25 yo and i cant feed him a meal wo at least 5 food sploches on my shirt the floor and table being covered with food its very very slowly getting better and maybe by 35 ill be able to look like a normal person instead of a dishelved homeless person like the other posts have said how easy or hard the experience is totally dependent on your kid which you have no control but i would say probably 30 precent of kids have some reflux its im sure also dependent on how involved your partner is one rare weekend we went out for lunch and left our son with gparents there was a woman at the restursnt with a 5 mo old baby girl and the babys dad she looked great was wearing a dress full makeup heels the baby was quite the whole time there i was looking like id been run over by a semi old tee shirt covered in food hair not even combed no makeup seeing her honestly made me so depressed and adking wth is wrong with me | regret |
i fell in love i fell in love with my mtf transgendered best friend from high school who was in a serious long distance relationship with another girl i knew about this girl and i did not care my friend had permission from her gf to be with me so we did our thing it was the most intense few months of my life it finally ended when her gf decided that she could n t handle that my friend had fallen in love with me i had also fallen in love with her after we split we stayed close friends and she eventually asked me if we wanted to begin a friendswithbenefits arrangement i agreed thinking that i could restrict it to just a physical connection even though somewhere deep down i knew i could n t we did this until graduation and then we spent the summer together and then she left for school in california while i headed to canada we have since drifted so far apart which is not for my lack of trying it is one of my biggest regrets only 4 people know about us her her now ex gf me and one friend that i have confided in my best friend also best friends with the girl i was with does not know and i do not want to tell her because i do not want her to hate or resent me for not telling her my current boyfriend also does not know and i do not know how to tell him it is hard to explain that i am not a lesbian i love him but not because he is a boy i m scared to tell him that i did not fall in love with my friend because of her gender i m scared that he will think badly about me because i have kept this from him we are always honest with each other and i have hinted at it trying to get him to ask me something to get it out of me i just can not say it it is so hard names not included because i do not know who could be reading this and putting two and two together | regret |
love our daughter but feel intense guilt for bringing her into this world my wife has always struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts she is sought help tried different medications and is stable but her feeling that she d rather not exist at all has never gone away life is literally a struggle for survival plain and simple we always said we did not want to bring a child into that but when we found out she was pregnant last year some part of us wanted to try we love our daughter and every day with her is amazing even when it is a struggle but when i look at her smiling and peaceful and happy i can not help but feel terrible knowing that this world though difficult for everyone to some degree is especially hard for women as ignorant people are fighting to make the world even harder for them we sit here knowing that we made a choice to bring her into this and we feel like such selfish assholes like no matter how hard we try it is not the gift of life we have given her but the burden of suffering just needed to get this off my chest | regret |
Aw God I stink of smoke I've tried so hard to cover it I feel so fucking guilty | guilt |
i regret not making friends sooner throughout my school years i would always stay in the computer room at lunch i would watch youtube and play games and never speak to anybody i was always bullied and insulted by a lot of people at school so maybe i went there to hide either way i never had friends but for some reason in my last year of school i went outside i was probably going insane from the stress of exams i saw some people hanging out by a tree people that i had briefly spoken to over the last few years in my classes i basically stood there awkwardly and they all said hi i stayed and then they started speaking to me then the next day i went back to the tree and hung out and spoke to people and actually enjoyed myself and for the rest of the year i kept coming back to that tree after 16 years of living i had friends one of them had given me a christmas card which nobody but my family had ever done before it was one of the best years of my life despite the stress of exams then the year ended and we all went our separate ways luckily they would invited me to a group chat before we left but my point is and i m sorry for rambling do not hide like i did these people were there hanging out by that tree the day i started high school i could have stayed and chatted but instead i walked past them every day on my way to the computer room do not make the same mistake i did there is somebody out there for you somebody that you can connect with on an emotional level you just need to look hard enough | regret |
I felt guilty about going out when I should have been studying ÃÂá
for a presentation I had to give on Wednesday the next week. | guilt |
Made a mistake at work. | guilt |
regret being anxious and singleminded ever since i can remember even when i was a child i never cared much about others it is just who i was this made me socially awkward when i started kindergarten and so i got picked on a ton this continued every single year up through the 12th grade and i was too stupid to take the actions to stop it from happening i knew that people did not like to be around me but instead of changing myself to be more effective with others i latched on to quieter and shyer people because i knew they would not leave me i did not enjoy their company much but it felt safe this behavior intensified in high school when i realized that i could n t attract the friends i wanted and felt i had to settle for nerdier and more awkward friends to avoid being alone in college i made a huge effort to change myself but i did not quite succeed i tried very hard to be an outgoing and popular party girl but did not know the first thing about social skills instead of learning to be interesting and likeable i used insults to get attention i would find a target and make fun of them the same way people in high school used to do with me this got me short lived attention but eventually people noticed how rude i was and distanced themselves so college was a lonely experience too i graduated college and felt lonelier than ever i fell into a deep depression and decided to throw myself into my job i spent the next few years obsessed with work and tied it so closely to my identity that nothing else mattered as long as work was going well i was happy and if work was not going well i was devastated i then got the idea to apply for a top mba program thinking it would be a new chance to make friends and would further my career as well i killed myself for over a year trying to execute my plan perfectly and ended up getting into many great schools i accepted an offer to join and am starting this august but now with covid19 it is unclear if i will even meet any new people outside of virtual settings i just feel so defeated and wonder if i should just give up on having close friends as perhaps it is just not meant for me help would be appreciated | regret |
Why do I have to feel bad for wanting to help myself? Yes I'd rather be with my dad but right now that can't happen and I'd rather drive myself to the brink of death than live with you anymore. You just talk at me, 'vent' at me, nothing is to me...and you're the victim of all of this. You got what you wanted you cheated and broke a family to get what you wanted, but we are all supposed to feel sorry for you aren't we... | guilt |
i want an eating disorder i try so hard not to eat but i do not have the will power i am such an amazing person on the inside and it kills me that my looks dont match i mean i am cute but i had a child and lost my body i want my body back i want to feel sexy as sexy as my personality i can deep throat like no other so bulimia doesnt work for me i cant force myself not to eat because when i am alone it is all i think about i wont stick to a routine of working out because then i realize how out of shape i really am i know thats the only way to fix it but even if i could i dont even have the time i look at skinny girls all of the time i am talking to this amazing guy right now and we are a perfect match mind wise but he can do way better girls are constantly throwing themselves at him he doesnt take it he is a smart guy and isnt attracted to the sluts but i just cant fucking help when i look around and think fuck if i just looked like that i wouldnt be so damn worried all of the time i only weigh 110 but thats 7 more than i want to weigh it sounds so easy but i just dont have the will power to say no to food nor the stomach to eat enough of it to counteract with dieting pills i wish i could just be okay with being a shitty person and turn to drugs but would never do that to my kid this probably also has somewhat to do with the abusive relationship i had with her father that i dont talk about ever 1 and a half years of physical abuse but i found the things he said to me to be worse i would try my hardest to be pretty and he would never compliment me and when he did say something about my looks he would compare me to girls he didnt like and say i look nasty like them he called me fat multiple times nasty disgusting i just feel like if i had a hot body i would be so much happier with myself and wouldnt be freaking out about this new guy i always think hes just going to end it which would be fine but i cant deal with the on edge feeling i have so i feel like if i were comfortable in my skin i really wouldnt give a flying fuck to me the girls that are bone skinny are beautiful i would be happy at 103 pounds maybe someone can just tell me how to drop it and keep it off idfk i just need to lose that 7 fucking pounds | regret |
When I answered to my mother with rudeness. | guilt |
I am so sorry I have not spoken to you guys for three weeks!!! I have been struggling with exams and homework. Every lesson yesterday was an exam!
Today was alright. A girl in my class called Hannah did a form assembly. She started off talking about nuclear fusion then she said "just kidding" and started talking about compliments. She dis a social experiment where she asked people in other forms to talk about someone in our form without us knowing. She then displayed the comments one at a time on the screen and we had to guess who it was for. Someone actually gave me a compliment!!! I was so happy. ðÃÂÃÂÃÂ
In music we were working towards our assessment after half term on variations of FrÃÂére Jacque. We had an argument but it did get resolved and it's alright now. I will be singing and playing the ukulele, Esta will be playing the piano, Chloe will be playing the recorder, Tilly will play the xylophone and Holly will play the triangle.
Then we had art. My friend Gabby is in a wheelchair and due to her therapy sessions she is also missing a lot of school. Bearing in mind she is in year 8 and I am in year 9, I was quite shocked when she came into our classroom! I got to sit next to her while we were drawing our Christmas card designs for an annual completion we have at our school. I ðÃÂÃÂàit is going really well.
At break, I was desperately trying to revise for a physics test we had next period. However, I was sitting with my friends who decided to have a screaming completion ðÃÂÃÂÃÂ!!
I had the physics test and I think it went alright? I hate physics so it wouldn't really matter to me if I failed or not but this is a compulsory subject for GCSE so.....
That's a double period lesson so then I had lunch. I went to the hall and played Irish Snap with my friends Chloe, Ingrid, Helen and Isobel. I was SOOOO BAD!!! But I actually didn't lose so that's an achievement ðÃÂÃÂÃÂ!!!
Then it was Drama. We had our drama assessment where we were acting out an extract from the play "Stone Cold" which is all about homelessness. And I think it went REALLY WELL!!!! Drama is my best subject and I will definitely be taking it for GCSE. I am also using my drama skills to get into the Brit school next year so I have to practise hard to get in!
Then it was....Spanish. We had to redo our writing test we had in Wednesday because ONE person cheated. As I hadn't revised( because we were told there and then) I had to leave the class because I got so stressed. I revised so hard for the test on Wednesday and because it was all going to go to waste I was really upset. But I ended up not doing the test and when I came backs we were learning a song in Spanish to the song "DNA" by Little Mix. It was really fun!
Then after school, as we had now broken up for half term, me and my best friends Chloe ( who I have talked about a lot already!) and Evie went to the milkshake shop called Sblended. We hard huge milkshakes and then got the bus. I was the last to get off because I went to visit my Grandad in Plumstead.
When I got home I had fajitas with my parents, we messed around faith the Boomerang app and then went to bed. | guilt |
I feel guilty for eating. | guilt |
Once I lied to my parents and this made me feel very guilty. | guilt |
I'm not going to work today bc I can't bring myself to go and I'll just feel better if I stay home and do homework.
My mum's a bit mad at me though which sucks. Tell me it's ok to take the day off? | guilt |
ðÃÂÃÂÃÂïøÃÂâÃÂÃÂðÃÂÃÂèïøÃÂ
my trope is actually never being good enough and always being number 2 in everything bc im a ridiculous disappointment to everyone who's ever known me | guilt |
I don't want stuff piling up for when I wake up ðÃÂÃÂà| guilt |
I'm the shittest friend | guilt |
i regret not traveling sooner with my first born son my grandmother had been sick for over a year with copd so sick she had to miss my out of town wedding i shouldnt have been selfish and should have planned my wedding in the town i grew up so she may have been able to go my boy was born in february and i had planned to take him from nc to fl for mother s day but i allowed my workaholic husband and media talk me out of going i let the media into scaring me about measles so i did not plan to fly my then 25mo old but i also did not make the drive because my husband refused to miss work he is the owner because i did not want to not be with him for my first mother s day i most recently went down to see my grandmother for the very last time but did not bring my son over continued fear of measles due to a recent possible case in my home state after that weekend i saw her she declined very fast and passed 2 weeks later i wish i was more clear headed and realized my boy is most likely protected from my antibodies i gave him but i also had in my head that i would never be able to forgive myself had he got seriously ill from travel i pray she understands i was trying to keep my little boy safe but it breaks my heart the first thing she asked when i saw her last was where she hiding and at one point mumbled it is not fair when myself and other family member were in her room visiting and chatting i wish i said screw it to my husband after that trip and turned right back around and drove my son down there i wish i did not come up with so many excuses and found a way to safely bring him down there even though she was not strong enough to hold him | regret |
When I deny something to my sister and after a while I feel sorry ÃÂá
and try to bypass the situation. | guilt |
I can't stand next to you and pretend its all ok when I want to leave you | guilt |
i can not do this anymore i want out i m a 26 year old mom of 2 6 2 my plan for my 2 year old was to give her up for adoption but she came prematurely and her dad said he would raise her alone fast forward he is not we are raising her together he has been physically and verbally abusive to me and i m sick of it all we do is argue every day i regret her and he refuses to get full custody of her i hate he is my only support with her i tried adoption when she turned one but he refused to sign the papers i hate to leave her with a mentally ill dad but i just can not do this much longer for my mental health mental health rubs deep in my family and i do not want to end up like my mom then what good would i be to anyone then what am i to do in this situation he does not want to get help and he know he has a problem he think it is funny i just want to pack up and move and not say nothing | regret |
I felt guilty after I battered to death a classmate of mine. | guilt |
what do you do to get a break when no one will watch them i m past my wits end and literally floating through life an empty shell of a human being i m a single mom to almost 5 year old twins and they have both adhd and autism my son might also have odd but i m not positive they receive physical therapy occupational therapy aba therapy and they were going to public preschool until summer break started every single day i change my daughters poopy diapers every 1530 minutes because she has sensory issues with sitting on the potty so she holds her bowel movements in for weeks at a time she also smears her poop on anything within her reach so my house is constantly covered in feces despite being in intensive therapies she is regressed in communication and has reverted to screeching and wailing as a main form of communication i understand the challenges she faces and i do not get upset with her but the screeching and crying and yelling almost nonstop for 14 hours a day has made me want to eat a bullet on top of that both of my twins are extreme plus i have and destructive anything they can use to make a mess or destroy they do it in an instant there is absolutely no thought process behind this i wake up every single morning to a destroyed house because my son can hop any gate now and break through most child proofing locks he loves to actively defy me and look me in the eyes laugh and tell me no while running away he does receive discipline but it really has no effect on him he does not care about repercussions or spankings he is a sour patch kid though he will switch from that to sweet and loveable the next minute it is irritant anytime i hand them a cup of water or snack they take a sip or bite of food and pour the rest onto the floor because they love sensory play more than they like food i had a horrendous pregnancy with them and i was alone the entire time up until 6 months ago when i entered a new relationship this is not even the half of my daily struggles as i m also a mom with adhd and disabled from the military i will probably never financially recover from being forced to stay home because so many people refuse to watch them because of how difficult they are to handle and care for they require constant monitoring and if left alone they attack each other i feel like i will be stuck in this depressing groundhog s day life of a caregiver until my last breath and my children will use my corpse as a jungle gym like they do when i try to nap | regret |
cutting off all my hair i just cut all of my hair off idk why idk what my dad will do when he finds out i wanted a buzz cut once i started i just couldnt go back but i regreted it so fast looking at my severed braid in my hand i almost cried it doesnt even look good at least with my long hair i was somewhat used to it i ve never cut my hair ever but i just hate taking care of long hair and always having a braid i have school tomorrow too and idk how i can go like this i wish i could just undo this just ctrl z or something idk if im trans or what i can hear that my dads yelling rn and im really scared i fucked up so bad and i cant go back i just want to disappear | regret |
I felt very guilty when a student, sitting in front of me in the ÃÂá
exam, asked me a few questions and I did not show him the answers, ÃÂá
though I knew them.ÃÂá
| guilt |
I got 100 FIM too much when I changed money at the bank. They ÃÂá
soon called me at my job and the situation was embarrasing for ÃÂá
me. | guilt |
if i were alone i would not have committed suicide . | guilt |
My parents appreciate very much me and my boyfriend coming and ÃÂá
have dinner with them at Christmas. However we decided to visit ÃÂá
his parents. My mother was rather disappointed. | guilt |
i argued on the internet many times what a fucking waste of my precious short life what a goddamn waste of energy i hate even thinking about how stupid it makes me feel every goddamn time but when someone is wrong on the internet i get hotheaded and charge right for it engaging in debates with people who do not even know how to debate making myself look like an ass trying to sway the opinions of people i literally give zero shits about why the hell do i do this i will always hate that i have done this | regret |
When I shouted and quarrelled and for no reason I had been rude to my ÃÂá
mother and when my behaviour had been influenced by other outward ÃÂá
factors. | guilt |
For the third time this week I couldn't make it to work because my tag and depression are actng up again. I got all dressed and ready on time but spent almost an hour sitting on my bed waiting so I could feel a little nervous. End up crying on my pillows and in here feeling my heart like drums on a death metal track, head heavy and so guilty I can't barely allow myself to drink water. Probably gonna lose this job as well. I'm so tired of it. I feel so worthless and useless. | guilt |
Not being a good host for a friend from a far away place. | guilt |
i regret dumping them i 20 sheher dumped my partner 18 theythem we started dating when i had gotten out of a long term abusive and controlling relationship 6 years that person had left me completely without any sense of self so when i started learning who i was i came out as trans and pansexual and started transitioning we had a lot of amazing memories they helped me through something really traumatic and if only i had remembered all that the night i decided to end things every time i think about that night i know that as it was happening everything in my body told me to stop but i felt like i had to keep going i had gotten council from friends and they all told me this was what i needed to do so i did they apologized to me even and i shouldve said something else but i just kept on with ending things and then they gave me back gifts and not just like my hoodies video games i bought them things i hand made for them they gave them to me and then a week later maybe i drunk texted them they didnt know i was drunk until after we talked but it was a late night feelings talk and i wish that i had gone back then i think that was my last chance to really make it work again but this wouldnt be a post to rregret without it then yes there is more they blocked me and we had originally agreed to be friends but then they just cut me off out of nowhere and im angry about it it was such an asshole move but i emailed them after a quick thing where i got my last bit of stuff back i emailed them i ended up begging for them to come back and they said no and that was like they dumped me it hurt and now they hate me everything we have ever had they threw to the curb and i regret it so much because i started all of this but i hope they regret it too even with my moment of traumainduced fear because they didnt care that it was trauma they just decided i wasnt worth it this may be the anger talking but i hope that they regret this too because i would have made this work but they gave up | regret |
guilt for rehoming pets hi i have been wanting to rehome my parakeets for past few weeks and this weekend i posted on craigslist i got response from a guy and he told me he can take them in i regret giving him the birds he told me he has 2 young kids i m worried his kids may play harsh with them they are delicate birds and that he wants to surprise them he told me he can be over in 15 minutes and when i asked if he can take them over the weekend he replied he wants them within an hour before his kids come home as he promised them a surprised i felt pressured and guilty and said okay i feel like i gave in due to guilt and pressure he picked them up and since last night i have been feeling guilty about giving away the birds to him guilty because i do not want them to be in a home that maybe scary and guilty that i did not talk to multiple rehoming options before giving them away an hour after he took them i had a few more people inquire about the parakeets one of them has two and wanted to have mine as friends for his birds i wish i had given it to him i texted him this morning requesting an update on the birds he has not replied i guess i wont ever see them again i want the birds to be happy hope they have a safe home and he takes care of them lesson do not rush things and stand your boundaries its okay to back out of things and trust your gut especially if you are rehoming through craigslist | regret |
fomo and boredom my life is so boring and i do love spontaneity however the last few times i was asked to do something it happened to be at an inconvenient time this morning i was invited out of the blue to go out to eat i wanted to but i had just ate now i m freaking out because i regret saying no and am afraid that friendsfamily will not want to invite my places unplanned because i said no so many times i can not stress how bored i am and just want to do something and now i feel i have missed my chance should i talk to my friendsfamily and reassure them i do love random plans or am i over analyzing the situation | regret |
I fucking hate relapsing | guilt |
It feels like I don't deserve the love I desire | guilt |
I was in grade seven and my class was planning a protest against ÃÂá
a rude and immoral teacher. I sneaked out and told the ÃÂá
headmaster about it and so the plan was foiled. | guilt |
sorry i came into this world . | guilt |
Tw:/
How many hours til I give in to my desires to feel something? Probably before class if I go at all | guilt |
i can not live with the guilt i did want to have kids but i wanted to have them 6 years ago when we first got married when i was younger the biggest reason i wanted to do this is because my husband and me have a large age gap well my husband kept pushing it off and finally i had a baby much later than i wanted before i had the baby i was so worried about my age that i talked to a obgyn to make sure it was okay he said that my age was very common in certain western countries not where i lived and we could have a baby we got pregnant much quicker than i was expecting and i was very excited i had a great pregnancy and good labor and delivery we did all the testing possible after my baby has been born i started doing to math that is when i realized that we had waited way too long by the time my baby is in high school my husband will be elderly by the time my child is my husband s age my husband will be dead we will miss out on all the wonderful things that are the return on investment like marriage grandkids all of that every time i m around my family i think about how i will never have that i constantly worry have panic attacks and hate myself for doing this to a child i m starting to give myself chest pains and i can not enjoy anything anymore i absolutely hate my husband for saying that our ages did not matter when they clearly do i hate myself for even marrying him i have thought about giving up my child for adoption then killing myself but my husband says that we can still be good parents we can not i can not i feel horrible for my son i also know what it feels like to be a mother and i love him so much i wish i did this years ago when i could just feel this feeling without the horrible guilt of being my age i think about going to school and being the eldest parent i think about how i could have been a young mom i think about the wasted opportunity to give my children a better life i have ruined everything i feel so guilty on top of all of it my son is showing signs of being autistic which is all my fault because i waited i want to die i am a terrible selfish person | regret |
i regret not making my own decisions looking back i feel like i spent so much time trying to make my parents happy and seek their approval on everything now that i m about to graduate with a degree i could care less about i realize how wrong that was it only goes to show how little my parents understand me especially when i do not even have the personality type for my major i guess the only caveat is that at least now i can control where i go within reason there is still the possibility by applying broadly i could end up on the opposite side of the us even though my friends are telling me that is crazy even though it is small in retrospect at least i have that choice | regret |
why i regretted to almost killing a good friend of mine so when i was in 6th grade i was a jerk i would roast other kids if i was bored and make horrible and sexist jokes to classmates when i felt like it i did not knew any better but this took place in art class 1st period at the time i went into the class and put my backpack on a chair so people would know the chair was occupied and then my friend lio came to my spot and put my backpack on the ground and put his backpack on my seat i was furious i hated when people did that so being the idiot i was i grabbed the teacher s scissors and put it next to his neck demanding my seat he did not looked scared in fact he looked calm as hell i told him to give up the seat he did not so i demanded him one more time and he got up and changed seats i felt victorious but he said he would have told and i could be sent to juvy i ignored him after that we became friends and talked to each other but a gallon of regret pours onto my face every day i feel ridiculous and horrible after that i should not have done that | regret |
/food
i ate chips | guilt |
aaahhhh welp i accidentally pressed the x button on reddit and lost half an hours worth of work mother fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker god dammit piece of shit | regret |
Directed at myself, vague
_you really shouldn't have... _
_its just going to make everything worse for the both of you in the long run_
_do you.. even care? _
_ ......stupid_
_its stupid_
_you should stop now_
But You Won't. | guilt |
i placed my daughter for adoption bc i couldnt afford hertake care of her and now i want to get married and have a family so basically im 20 years old and i had a baby girl in september who i placed for adoption im not with the dad and i wanted her to have a real lifefamily but now i regret it like crazy and i want to get married so i can have my own family ive signed up for eharmony and tried to find someone but nothing works out im so incredibly lonely and depressed ama | regret |
When my husband discovered I was having an affair with another ÃÂá
man. | guilt |
i did not tell her that i love her in 2019 i was close to this girl just call her b so b and i are not in relationship its just a you know friend but close relationship type of thing we are in the intense chat kinda phase all day everyday saying goodnights and just calling her sweet heart and she had a love moniker for me we both know that we loved each other but none of us dare to say that i love you and start a relationship after the outbreak we didnt meet each other for a while and we just dont chat each other a lot more i regret that i did not tell her that i love her and a year later we reconnected at that time i just had a bad break up and you know do not want a relationship for a moment and somehow we again in the intense phase of chatting and we stopped again six months ago we joined the same organization and i feel like i fall again for her but i didnt do move until couple days ago we had an event together she and i have to work together like we talked so good but the only thing is that already close with another guy call him a not in a clear relationship oh yeah a will leave town in 2 months i regret that i did not seize the opportunity to be with her she was once my home i totally heart broken right now you guys got advice should i chase her again or not | regret |
I spoke to my mother on the phone. She had skin cancer and was ÃÂá
waiting to be operated. I forgot to ask her the date of the ÃÂá
operation and just before finishing our conversation she gave me ÃÂá
the date in passing. | guilt |
A friend of mine had the sleeves of a leather coat stolen from ÃÂá
his car. It was me who had left them there for everyone to see. | guilt |
being a parent being a parent is like having a tattoo on your face make sure you are 100 percent sure as this is for life you bring a kid into the world and is autistic well you are committed i get on really well with my children but even in good times the worry is always there especially when they are poorly you have to step up and step in over and over and over kid bullied at school well in you go to speak to the teacher like the cleaning of a house it never ends kid is poorly well enjoy sitting stressed in a e at 2am while the drunks fight around you while you are well aware that your shift starts in 4 hours at work and the boss well go nuclear if you are not in my ex has not paid a penny towards our son for 15 years even thou she works i always advise against being more people into this dystopian nightmare | regret |
regret of not starting something i had a project in mindwhich i could have excelled at if i started but i did not because i felt like i didnt deserve success when this came to my mind and i told my bestfriend about it she seemed upset i knew she was jealous and i just didnt wanted to do it anymore because i felt like if i did good she would hate me now my family treats me like shit i hate it i hate the fact that i was dependant on other people i am having so many health issues now especially with mental issues due to trauma caused by my family now im not independant at all i wish i had just pursued my happiness selfishly instead of thinking about others now i can never go back i hate where i am right now i hate it | regret |
These lyrics speak so much to me.
âÃÂÃÂIâÃÂÃÂm bigger then my body. IâÃÂÃÂm colder then this home. IâÃÂÃÂm meaner then my demons. iâÃÂÃÂm bigger then these bones. and all the kids cried out âÃÂÃÂplease stop your scaring meâÃÂài canâÃÂÃÂt help this awful energy. god damn right you should be scared of me! who is in control?âÃÂÃÂ
Reason so is because when i went to the mental hospital i was so insane and i didnâÃÂÃÂt feel like myself and then whenever i started getting aggravated i got into fights. although that happened whenever i did the kid i was fighting would be pinned and they saw my scars on my arms and my i would bleed from places. and when they told me to stop i wouldnâÃÂÃÂt.. even though my mind told me not to my body kept going until staff had to come and stop me and drug me up... and sometimes i felt bad for those kids cuz i never meant to hurt them but my other did... does that make sense?
oh whale anyway...
to those kids who know who i am.. i apologize dearly...
| guilt |
im rly fuckin hungry but like my brain cant comprehend shit rn and i just get overwhelmed thinking abt it and i dont want to have my second breakdown in the past hour lmao | guilt |
regret not trying to date sooner how could i have been so dumb i m 25f in nj us in school i believed in focusing on gradescareer and wait until i am 25 before i start dating i thought that is what proper girls should do probably influenced by old fashioned indian culture my parents are from india i realize now i was so dumb i thought sweetheart guys would still be totally available and not hard to meet after college but i should have met guys in schoolcollege back when they were easy to meet and available and less money needed to spend time with them etc idk what i was thinking now it is difficult to meet people in person and you can not really trust people onlineapps in person i can get to know them before deciding if i m interested in dating and then they are not putting up an act either and its more expensive now too ok i know i m still young and all is not lost my regret is more about my former stupid mentality and preventability not just the dating consequences | regret |
this month marks the 3rd year i have been in love with the same girl and i have 0 chances with her she is smart has a great sense of humor beautiful great listener and is always there for her friends but i ruined my chances 3 years ago when i met her everything was going so great we talked we laughed and i thought things would have gone well if i had n t done what i did when i decided to confess my love to her i felt scared so i sent her a note instead i did not ask for a response because after sending it i felt even more scared so a friend of hers had to tell me she said she loved me but her overprotective parents would not let her have a boyfriend needless to say i felt sad and this sadness later became anger towards her but i still loved her do not ask me why i started acting like an asshole and i think that was the point where any chances of a relationship ever occurring disappeared a few months later i got over it and started to renew the friendship that once was so joyful and so meaningful to me we are very close friends now and we hang out and talk a lot but i have been friendzoned and i do not think we will ever be something else after how bad i treated her that time i have tried to move on i try to tell myself that i like other girls but lying to yourself never really works does it now i am left alone and helpless none of my friends know i still love her and i m planning on keeping it that way ama if you want | regret |
Subsets and Splits