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Blue | Elder: We are the robot elders. | Fry | You don't look very old. |
Fry | You don't look very old. | Blue | Elder: Thanks. We try to take care of ourselves. |
Blue | Elder: Thanks. We try to take care of ourselves. | Leela | What's going on here? |
Leela | What's going on here? | Orange | Elder: Silence! Bring in Bender. |
Orange | Elder: Silence! Bring in Bender. | Bender | Alright lets make this quick, I'm due at the opening of a mini-mall. Hey what is this? |
Bender | Alright lets make this quick, I'm due at the opening of a mini-mall. Hey what is this? | Blue | Elder: Silence! It is time to put the humans to death! |
Blue | Elder: Silence! It is time to put the humans to death! | Fry | But the judge already sentenced us at the trial! |
Fry | But the judge already sentenced us at the trial! | Orange | Elder: Silence! That was just a show for the public. We are the true rulers of this planet, hand carved from meteorites by the Robot Founders, over four centuries ago. |
Orange | Elder: Silence! That was just a show for the public. We are the true rulers of this planet, hand carved from meteorites by the Robot Founders, over four centuries ago. | Blue | Elder: Silence! Come forward Bender. You will have the honour of executing the prisoners. |
Blue | Elder: Silence! Come forward Bender. You will have the honour of executing the prisoners. | Green | Elder: Silence! I concur! |
Green | Elder: Silence! I concur! | Orange | Elder. |
Orange | Elder. | Bender | Uh, I'm a little tired right now. Would it be alright if I just gave them a savage beating? |
Bender | Uh, I'm a little tired right now. Would it be alright if I just gave them a savage beating? | Blue | Elder: No! The Elders have spoken. Show us the killing skills than have made you a media darling. |
Blue | Elder: No! The Elders have spoken. Show us the killing skills than have made you a media darling. | Green | Elder: Do it now! Kill them before they bring down our whole society! |
Green | Elder: Do it now! Kill them before they bring down our whole society! | Elders | Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! |
Elders | Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! | Bender | I can't kill them. Plenty of humans have mistreated robots but not these two. they're my friends. Humans are no threat to us. They're stupid, putrid cowards. |
Bender | I can't kill them. Plenty of humans have mistreated robots but not these two. they're my friends. Humans are no threat to us. They're stupid, putrid cowards. | Fry | Damn right! |
Fry | Damn right! | Bender | The fact is, humans are completely harmless. |
Bender | The fact is, humans are completely harmless. | Blue | Elder: We're well aware of that. |
Blue | Elder: We're well aware of that. | Bender | You are? |
Bender | You are? | Blue | Elder: Of course. But they're useful to us as a scapegoat to distract the public from their real problem. |
Blue | Elder: Of course. But they're useful to us as a scapegoat to distract the public from their real problem. | Green | Elder: Like our crippling lugnut shortage. |
Green | Elder: Like our crippling lugnut shortage. | Orange | Elder: And a corrupt government of incompetent Robot Elders. |
Orange | Elder: And a corrupt government of incompetent Robot Elders. | Lime | Elder: Duh, that's for sure. |
Lime | Elder: Duh, that's for sure. | Blue | Elder: Quiet Jimmy. |
Blue | Elder: Quiet Jimmy. | Bender | Well I'm glad we got all that out in the open. We'll just let ourselves out. |
Bender | Well I'm glad we got all that out in the open. We'll just let ourselves out. | Green | Elder: Silence! You all know too much. |
Green | Elder: Silence! You all know too much. | Blue | Elder: Elders: Execute function, control, shift, kill! |
Blue | Elder: Elders: Execute function, control, shift, kill! | Fry | Stop! Take one more step and I'll breathe fire on you! |
Fry | Stop! Take one more step and I'll breathe fire on you! | Leela | He'll do it. He's crazy! |
Leela | He'll do it. He's crazy! | Orange | Elder: Can they really breathe fire or did we make that up? |
Orange | Elder: Can they really breathe fire or did we make that up? | Blue | Elder: Gee, I can't remember anymore! It might just be from that stupid movie. |
Blue | Elder: Gee, I can't remember anymore! It might just be from that stupid movie. | Green | Elder: Was that the original or the re-make? |
Green | Elder: Was that the original or the re-make? | Blue | Elder: I don't - hey! They're getting away. |
Blue | Elder: I don't - hey! They're getting away. | Fry | Uh, hello suckers! |
Fry | Uh, hello suckers! | Bender | Hey hold on a second I forgot to deliver the package. |
Bender | Hey hold on a second I forgot to deliver the package. | Robot | #1: Lugnuts! Precious lugnuts! |
Robot | #1: Lugnuts! Precious lugnuts! | Robot | #2: Hooray for the humans! |
Robot | #2: Hooray for the humans! | Bender | Wow, I can't believe you guys did all this for me! This is the best Robanukah ever! |
Bender | Wow, I can't believe you guys did all this for me! This is the best Robanukah ever! | Fry | We wanted to show you that we really do respect your robot heritage. |
Fry | We wanted to show you that we really do respect your robot heritage. | Bender | Aww, thanks! You do know I made Robanukah up to get out of work right? |
Bender | Aww, thanks! You do know I made Robanukah up to get out of work right? | Leela | Of course. |
Leela | Of course. | Fry | But that doesn't make it any less meaningful! |
Fry | But that doesn't make it any less meaningful! | Bender | Hey you guys are good. How the hell do you do that?? |
Bender | Hey you guys are good. How the hell do you do that?? | Fry | (shouting) Give it a rest, you two! |
Fry | (shouting) Give it a rest, you two! | Robot | Sorry! |
Robot | Sorry! | Teacher | Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam. |
Teacher | Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam. | Fry | Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this? |
Fry | Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this? | Teacher | Ancient Egyptian algebra. |
Teacher | Ancient Egyptian algebra. | Fry | What a nightmare! |
Fry | What a nightmare! | Teacher | Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs. |
Teacher | Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs. | Announcer | Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch. |
Announcer | Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch. | Fry | What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep. |
Fry | What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep. | Fry | So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams? |
Fry | So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams? | Leela | Of course. |
Leela | Of course. | Fry | But, how is that possible? |
Fry | But, how is that possible? | Farnsworth | Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation. |
Farnsworth | Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation. | Fry | That's awful. It's like brainwashing. |
Fry | That's awful. It's like brainwashing. | Leela | Didn't you have ads in the 20th century? |
Leela | Didn't you have ads in the 20th century? | Fry | Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games, on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee! |
Fry | Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games, on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee! | Bender | Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything. |
Bender | Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything. | Amy | Yeah. I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices. |
Amy | Yeah. I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices. | Perfume | saleswoman? |
Perfume | saleswoman? | Amy | No thanks. |
Amy | No thanks. | Perfume | saleswoman: And you, sir? |
Perfume | saleswoman: And you, sir? | Bender | No thanks. I-- |
Bender | No thanks. I-- | Cosmetologist | What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area. |
Cosmetologist | What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area. | Fry | Can I try these on before I buy them? |
Fry | Can I try these on before I buy them? | Salesman | I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair. |
Salesman | I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair. | Fry | Ooh! Ho, ho, ho! |
Fry | Ooh! Ho, ho, ho! | Amy | Hey, Bender! Great new sweater. |
Amy | Hey, Bender! Great new sweater. | Bender | New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people! |
Bender | New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people! | Salesman | $30, please. |
Salesman | $30, please. | Fry | Do you take Visa? |
Fry | Do you take Visa? | Salesman | Visa hasn't existed for 500 years. |
Salesman | Visa hasn't existed for 500 years. | Fry | American Express? |
Fry | American Express? | Salesman | 600 years. |
Salesman | 600 years. | Fry | Discover card? |
Fry | Discover card? | Salesman | Sorry we don't take Discover. |
Salesman | Sorry we don't take Discover. | Amy | Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy! |
Amy | Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy! | Fry | No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford? |
Fry | No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford? | Amy | Quiet. There's an ad coming on. |
Amy | Quiet. There's an ad coming on. | Mom | Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom! |
Mom | Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom! | Fry | Hey who's the rocker jockey? |
Fry | Hey who's the rocker jockey? | Amy | Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist. |
Amy | Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist. | Mom | Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil. |
Mom | Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil. | Bender | Mmm, tasty! |
Bender | Mmm, tasty! | Mom | And remember: Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand! |
Mom | And remember: Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand! | Announcer | Mom, love and screen door are registered trademarks of Momcorp. |
Announcer | Mom, love and screen door are registered trademarks of Momcorp. | Fry | Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use a little of that oil. |
Fry | Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use a little of that oil. | Smitty | Freeze, scuzzbot! |
Smitty | Freeze, scuzzbot! | Bender | That is, I'm sure there's ... a very ... reasonable-- |
Bender | That is, I'm sure there's ... a very ... reasonable-- | Amy | Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine? |
Amy | Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine? | Fry | 78, 79, 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents short. |
Fry | 78, 79, 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents short. | Leela | I'd love to chip in but Bender stole my wallet. |
Leela | I'd love to chip in but Bender stole my wallet. | Fry | Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's still open. |
Fry | Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's still open. | Teller | Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file. |
Teller | Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file. | Fry | Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card? |
Fry | Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card? | Teller | Do you still remember your PIN number? |
Teller | Do you still remember your PIN number? | Fry | Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza. |
Subsets and Splits