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Fry
Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza.
Teller
OK, you had a balance of 93 cents...
Teller
OK, you had a balance of 93 cents...
Fry
Alright!
Fry
Alright!
Teller
And at an average of two-and-a-quarter percent interest over a period of 1000 years, that comes to ... $4.3 billion.
Teller
And at an average of two-and-a-quarter percent interest over a period of 1000 years, that comes to ... $4.3 billion.
Hermes
To Fry.
Hermes
To Fry.
Amy
Cheers!
Amy
Cheers!
Leela
I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?
Leela
I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?
Bender
Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle.
Bender
Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle.
Fry
Just keep the tab under $50 million.
Fry
Just keep the tab under $50 million.
Robot
Chef I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?
Robot
Chef I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?
Fry
Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favourite topping, anchovies!
Fry
Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favourite topping, anchovies!
Robot
Chef: Invalid selection. (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking about?
Robot
Chef: Invalid selection. (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking about?
Fry
Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?
Fry
Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?
Robot
Chef: Does not compute. Does not compute.
Robot
Chef: Does not compute. Does not compute.
Farnsworth
I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.
Farnsworth
I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.
Zoidberg
I'm not on trial here.
Zoidberg
I'm not on trial here.
Fry
So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and--
Fry
So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and--
Zoidberg
Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying One more can't hurt and then they were gone. We're sorry!
Zoidberg
Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying One more can't hurt and then they were gone. We're sorry!
Fry
I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century.
Fry
I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century.
Bender
Huh? Huh?
Bender
Huh? Huh?
Fry
So? What do you think?
Fry
So? What do you think?
Leela
The floors are made of such hard wood.
Leela
The floors are made of such hard wood.
Bender
Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV!
Bender
Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV!
Fry
What's wrong with it?
Fry
What's wrong with it?
Bender
Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy low-definition picture.
Bender
Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy low-definition picture.
Amy
That's true. On a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.
Amy
That's true. On a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.
Leela
That's cute!
Leela
That's cute!
Auctioneer
Sold!
Auctioneer
Sold!
Fry
Yes!
Fry
Yes!
Leela
I just don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?
Leela
I just don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?
Fry
I have an idea for a sitcom.
Fry
I have an idea for a sitcom.
Bender
Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK.
Bender
Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK.
Leela
You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.
Leela
You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.
Bender
Yeah, it is cute.
Bender
Yeah, it is cute.
Auctioneer
Now, our final item: This unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa 1997.
Auctioneer
Now, our final item: This unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa 1997.
Fry
Anchovies?
Fry
Anchovies?
Auctioneer
The last known can in existence guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?
Auctioneer
The last known can in existence guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?
Fry
15,000!
Fry
15,000!
Man
20!
Man
20!
Decapodian
Woman: 30! No, 40!
Decapodian
Woman: 30! No, 40!
Fry
50,000!
Fry
50,000!
Leela
Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.
Leela
Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.
Fry
Don't tell me how to spend my money.
Fry
Don't tell me how to spend my money.
Auctioneer
50 going once, twice--
Auctioneer
50 going once, twice--
Mom
75,000.
Mom
75,000.
Leela
Oh, my God! It's Mom! I've never seen her in person before.
Leela
Oh, my God! It's Mom! I've never seen her in person before.
Fry
100,000.
Fry
100,000.
Leela
Fry, you can't bid against Mom; she's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable.
Leela
Fry, you can't bid against Mom; she's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable.
Mom
Well, I suppose I could go as high as ... 300,000.
Mom
Well, I suppose I could go as high as ... 300,000.
Fry
500!
Fry
500!
Mom
Oh, mercy be. A million.
Mom
Oh, mercy be. A million.
Fry
Two.
Fry
Two.
Mom
Six.
Mom
Six.
Fry
14!
Fry
14!
Mom
I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless, I'll bid 23 million.
Mom
I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless, I'll bid 23 million.
Fry
dollars.
Fry
dollars.
Auctioneer
Sir, that's not a number.
Auctioneer
Sir, that's not a number.
Fry
Oh. In that case, 50 million.
Fry
Oh. In that case, 50 million.
Mom
You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you.
Mom
You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you.
Bidder
#1: Isn't she adorable?
Bidder
#1: Isn't she adorable?
Bidder
#2: Isn't she sweet?
Bidder
#2: Isn't she sweet?
Auctioneer
What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman who bought every item in today's auction.
Auctioneer
What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman who bought every item in today's auction.
Fry
Now for some good old 20th century TV.
Fry
Now for some good old 20th century TV.
Announcer
Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers.
Announcer
Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers.
Fry
Ah, those were the days.
Fry
Ah, those were the days.
Announcer
Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.
Announcer
Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.
Leela
Fry? Are you there?
Leela
Fry? Are you there?
Fry
Eh?
Fry
Eh?
Leela
You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?
Leela
You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?
Leela
You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
Leela
You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
Fry
I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.
Fry
I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.
Leela
Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past.
Leela
Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past.
Fry
I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.
Fry
I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.
Leela
But we're your friends and we live here in the year 3000.
Leela
But we're your friends and we live here in the year 3000.
Bender
Yeah! Now are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?
Bender
Yeah! Now are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?
Fry
Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.
Fry
Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.
Bender
a thing.
Bender
a thing.
Fry
Just leave me alone.
Fry
Just leave me alone.
Leela
(from outside) My ponytail's caught in the door.
Leela
(from outside) My ponytail's caught in the door.
Fry
I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilised KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies.
Fry
I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilised KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies.
Mom
Mercy me, what a day.
Mom
Mercy me, what a day.
Mom
Walt! Cream soda!
Mom
Walt! Cream soda!
Walt
Right away, mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda.
Walt
Right away, mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda.
Larry
But, Mom said--
Larry
But, Mom said--
Walt
You heard me.
Walt
You heard me.
Igner
What's wrong, Mommy?
Igner
What's wrong, Mommy?
Mom
It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret. And I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom!
Mom
It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret. And I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom!
Walt
Quiet, you!
Walt
Quiet, you!
Mom
of oil.
Mom
of oil.
Igner
Can I wear your fat suit?
Igner
Can I wear your fat suit?
Mom
No, Igner, put that down!
Mom
No, Igner, put that down!
Walt
What does this have to do with the anchovies?
Walt
What does this have to do with the anchovies?
Mom
A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.
Mom
A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.
Larry
Wow, it's a shame they went extinct.
Larry
Wow, it's a shame they went extinct.
Mom!
Cheap effective robot oil. Enough to put dear, old Mom out of businness.
Mom!
Cheap effective robot oil. Enough to put dear, old Mom out of businness.
Walt
My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order.
Walt
My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order.
Fred
Esther, you ugly!
Fred
Esther, you ugly!
Mom
We have only one option: We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us.
Mom
We have only one option: We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us.
Walt
Mother, you are one clever old skag!
Walt
Mother, you are one clever old skag!
Mom
And don't you forget it!
Mom
And don't you forget it!
Larry
But how are we supposed to get Fry's money out of the bank?