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Leela | a guy, he's a robot. | Fry | Same thing. |
Fry | Same thing. | Bender | It's so big and empty. |
Bender | It's so big and empty. | Bender | Oh, what's the point? |
Bender | Oh, what's the point? | Leela | My God, you're a mess! |
Leela | My God, you're a mess! | Bender | Leave me alone! |
Bender | Leave me alone! | Leela | Look at that five o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking, haven't you? |
Leela | Look at that five o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking, haven't you? | Bender | Hey. What I don't do is none of your business. |
Bender | Hey. What I don't do is none of your business. | Leela | Please, Bender. Have some malt liquor. If not for yourself then for the people who love you. |
Leela | Please, Bender. Have some malt liquor. If not for yourself then for the people who love you. | Bender | I hate the people who love me and they hate me. |
Bender | I hate the people who love me and they hate me. | Leela | Oh, now look. It's obvious you miss being Fry's roommate. But there's got to be a better way to deal with this. |
Leela | Oh, now look. It's obvious you miss being Fry's roommate. But there's got to be a better way to deal with this. | Bender | Like how? Having my antenna removed? |
Bender | Like how? Having my antenna removed? | Leela | Well, if that would work. |
Leela | Well, if that would work. | Bender | Are you crazy? That's Little Bender you're talking about. I can't cut it off. You're not a robot or a man so you wouldn't understand. I gotta get out of here. |
Bender | Are you crazy? That's Little Bender you're talking about. I can't cut it off. You're not a robot or a man so you wouldn't understand. I gotta get out of here. | Leela | Wait! I want you to look me in the eye and promise you won't get behind the wheel without some kind of alcoholic beverage in your hand. |
Leela | Wait! I want you to look me in the eye and promise you won't get behind the wheel without some kind of alcoholic beverage in your hand. | Fry | What up? |
Fry | What up? | Leela | I can't just stand by and be silent about Bender anymore. |
Leela | I can't just stand by and be silent about Bender anymore. | Fry | Silent? You've been meddling for two solid weeks. |
Fry | Silent? You've been meddling for two solid weeks. | Leela | Well I can't just do that anymore. Your best friend is out there somewhere destroying himself. |
Leela | Well I can't just do that anymore. Your best friend is out there somewhere destroying himself. | Fry | Really? I didn't think he'd miss this apartment that much. |
Fry | Really? I didn't think he'd miss this apartment that much. | Leela | He doesn't care about the apartment, he cares about you. And you turned your back on him. |
Leela | He doesn't care about the apartment, he cares about you. And you turned your back on him. | Fry | Oh, man. I had no idea. If only I knew where he was I'd go talk to him. |
Fry | Oh, man. I had no idea. If only I knew where he was I'd go talk to him. | Fry | Bender! You're blind-stinking sober! |
Fry | Bender! You're blind-stinking sober! | Bender | That's right! I'm sober and crazy and I don't know what I might do! |
Bender | That's right! I'm sober and crazy and I don't know what I might do! | Fry | Don't do it! |
Fry | Don't do it! | Bender | I don't know what it is yet. Oh, yeah, now I remember. I thought I could live alone, but I can't. So, I'm gonna do what it takes to be your roommate again. |
Bender | I don't know what it is yet. Oh, yeah, now I remember. I thought I could live alone, but I can't. So, I'm gonna do what it takes to be your roommate again. | Leela | Bender! Stop! |
Leela | Bender! Stop! | Fry | Cutting Leela's head off won't solve anything! |
Fry | Cutting Leela's head off won't solve anything! | Bender | No, I'm going to chop off my antenna. |
Bender | No, I'm going to chop off my antenna. | Fry | Hey, yeah! That sounds good. Can I give you a hand? |
Fry | Hey, yeah! That sounds good. Can I give you a hand? | Leela | Fry! Don't help him mutilate himself. |
Leela | Fry! Don't help him mutilate himself. | Fry | or something. |
Fry | or something. | Bender | I'm gonna do it! I'm really gonna do it! Don't try and stop me! Here goes. |
Bender | I'm gonna do it! I'm really gonna do it! Don't try and stop me! Here goes. | Fry | Hey, it works! The static's gone. |
Fry | Hey, it works! The static's gone. | Human | Friend: I hate that this came between us, Calculon. |
Human | Friend: I hate that this came between us, Calculon. | Calculon | Me too. I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions. |
Calculon | Me too. I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions. | Human | Friend: You're my best friend. I'm sorry I treated you so badly. |
Human | Friend: You're my best friend. I'm sorry I treated you so badly. | Calculon | Apology accepted. After all, you're only human. |
Calculon | Apology accepted. After all, you're only human. | Leela | You guys could learn a lesson from those two. |
Leela | You guys could learn a lesson from those two. | Fry | She's right. |
Fry | She's right. | Bender | You're my best friend, Fry, I'm sorry I treated you so badly. |
Bender | You're my best friend, Fry, I'm sorry I treated you so badly. | Fry | Apology accepted. After all, you're only human. |
Fry | Apology accepted. After all, you're only human. | Leela | Oh, never mind! |
Leela | Oh, never mind! | Fry | What's wrong? |
Fry | What's wrong? | Bender | Nothing. I guess I'm just going to have to get used to being half a robot. |
Bender | Nothing. I guess I'm just going to have to get used to being half a robot. | Fry | Aw, this isn't right. Listen, Bender, if we found your antenna could they still reattach it? |
Fry | Aw, this isn't right. Listen, Bender, if we found your antenna could they still reattach it? | Bender | Maybe. If we get it on ice right away. |
Bender | Maybe. If we get it on ice right away. | Smitty | Bingo! |
Smitty | Bingo! | URL | an antenna? |
URL | an antenna? | Bender | This time, you'll have all the human comfort. We'll get a couple of toilets, some food cookers, maybe a puppy. |
Bender | This time, you'll have all the human comfort. We'll get a couple of toilets, some food cookers, maybe a puppy. | Fry | It's good to be home. |
Fry | It's good to be home. | Bender | It sure is. By the way, I saved your stuff. |
Bender | It sure is. By the way, I saved your stuff. | Fry | So that's where those skin flakes went. Hmm, do you think this fruit tree's going to get enough light? |
Fry | So that's where those skin flakes went. Hmm, do you think this fruit tree's going to get enough light? | Bender | There's a window in the closet. |
Bender | There's a window in the closet. | Fry | This is huge! Bender, why don't I just live in here? |
Fry | This is huge! Bender, why don't I just live in here? | Bender | In a closet? Oh, humans! |
Bender | In a closet? Oh, humans! | Leela | This place was a great choice. The food is amazing. And such generous portions. |
Leela | This place was a great choice. The food is amazing. And such generous portions. | Doug | You like the meal just wait until you try these after-dinner mints. |
Doug | You like the meal just wait until you try these after-dinner mints. | Leela | Ew! |
Leela | Ew! | Fry | What was wrong with your date last night? |
Fry | What was wrong with your date last night? | Leela | lizard tongue. |
Leela | lizard tongue. | Amy | You're too picky. |
Amy | You're too picky. | Fry | Yeah. If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low I.Q. or an explosive violent temper, of course you're gonna be lonely. |
Fry | Yeah. If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low I.Q. or an explosive violent temper, of course you're gonna be lonely. | Leela | There's nothing wrong with having high standards. Now can we please stop-- |
Leela | There's nothing wrong with having high standards. Now can we please stop-- | Zoidberg | The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well. |
Zoidberg | The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well. | Amy | You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later you realise he actually has a really good body. |
Amy | You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later you realise he actually has a really good body. | Leela | Thank you all for the inspiring advice, but I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is. |
Leela | Thank you all for the inspiring advice, but I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is. | Bender | That sounds like a cry for help. |
Bender | That sounds like a cry for help. | Amy | Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people. |
Amy | Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people. | Hermes | The Federal Sex Bureau. |
Hermes | The Federal Sex Bureau. | Bender | A saucy puppet show. |
Bender | A saucy puppet show. | Zoidberg | The rotting carcass of a whale. |
Zoidberg | The rotting carcass of a whale. | Amy | Hmm, I'll pick! |
Amy | Hmm, I'll pick! | Amy | Oh, wow! It's totally retro! |
Amy | Oh, wow! It's totally retro! | Amy | Guh! Because nobody wears them anymore! Rings are stupid! |
Amy | Guh! Because nobody wears them anymore! Rings are stupid! | Fry | I think they look cool. |
Fry | I think they look cool. | Amy | Sh! Don't let anyone hear you say that! |
Amy | Sh! Don't let anyone hear you say that! | Man | Hey, did that guy just say rings are cool? |
Man | Hey, did that guy just say rings are cool? | Amy | Nope, he said they're stupid. |
Amy | Nope, he said they're stupid. | Man | Cool! |
Man | Cool! | Amy | So what do you think of that guy by the bar? |
Amy | So what do you think of that guy by the bar? | Leela | I don't know. Maybe? |
Leela | I don't know. Maybe? | Bender | Forget it, he's gay. |
Bender | Forget it, he's gay. | Leela | What? How can you tell? |
Leela | What? How can you tell? | Leela | There's no such thing. |
Leela | There's no such thing. | Bender | Yep! He's gay! |
Bender | Yep! He's gay! | Amy | Are you sure? |
Amy | Are you sure? | Bender | Definitely. Unless I'm getting interference from a gay weather balloon. |
Bender | Definitely. Unless I'm getting interference from a gay weather balloon. | 21st-century | girl: You're from the 20th century? That's incredible! I'm from the 21st century. |
21st-century | girl: You're from the 20th century? That's incredible! I'm from the 21st century. | Fry | No way! We've got so much in common. |
Fry | No way! We've got so much in common. | 21st-century | girl: We sure do. Remember when those cyborgs enslaved humanity? |
21st-century | girl: We sure do. Remember when those cyborgs enslaved humanity? | Fry | Uh, yeah! That rings a bell. |
Fry | Uh, yeah! That rings a bell. | Amy. | Bolt is a hyper-sled racer with 10 wins on the pro-circuit. |
Amy. | Bolt is a hyper-sled racer with 10 wins on the pro-circuit. | Bolt | Hello, beautiful! |
Bolt | Hello, beautiful! | Bender | circuit. |
Bender | circuit. | Bolt | I wish! Those cats can really fly. |
Bolt | I wish! Those cats can really fly. | Amy, | an entity of pure energy. |
Amy, | an entity of pure energy. | Leela | That's great, really, but he's just not what I'm looking for. |
Leela | That's great, really, but he's just not what I'm looking for. | M-5438 | I understand. One day you will evolve beyond your physical body, and on that day I hope you will pick up the phone. |
M-5438 | I understand. One day you will evolve beyond your physical body, and on that day I hope you will pick up the phone. | Amy | You're impossible. |
Amy | You're impossible. | Bender | Just as well; I think he comes from a dimension that's big on musical theatre. |
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