Non-SpongeBob Dialogue
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Squidward: And I'm gonna play Sit and Relax until you're finished. Barnacle brains. SpongeBob! | Hi, Squidward |
Squidward: | Yuh oh! |
Squidward: I'm warning you: If you don't put my house back where it belongs by the count of th-ree- Three. I am going to grind you into chum! One! Patrick: He's counting, anything but counting! Quick, SpongeBob! Dig for your life!!! Squidward: Two! Patrick: He's already at number two! Who knows how many numbers we have until he reaches three?! Squidward: Th-ree! Patrick: Plankton: Yes! Now the Chum Bucket is the only restaurant in town! Nuts. | Must dig! Ohhh! The rock's too hard! |
Squidward: You... two... morons... sunk my house! SpongeBob & Patrick: We're sorry! Squidward: I'm gonna- Uh, oh. | Ahhhh. Good morning, Squidward! Another beautiful day under Bikini Bottom! |
Squidward: I hate neighbors. Ricky Gervais: Ten years ago, an unknown pirate from Encino began a decade-long obsession with TV's most beloved an absorbent sponge. And today, a mere ten years later, obviously, ten years ago, I said that, he has traveled all the way to a far off land known as, Burbank. To find Nicktoons Animation Studio and meet his idol face to face for the first time in ten years...it's ten years ago. It's ten years ago. Let's see what happens, yeah. Patchy the Pirate: Oh. Bye, Mom. Thanks for the lift. Hey, kids. Isn't this exciting? I'm here at Nickelodeon, home of SpongeBob SquarePants. And I'm gonna ask him if he'll be my guest of honor on my tenth anniversary TV special. Come on. Ahoy. Security Guard: Sir, may I help you? Patchy: Yes. This is Patchy the Pirate for SpongeBob SquarePants. I believe he's expecting me. I sent him over 400 letters...this week. Security Guard: Uh, yes. SpongeBob is not here right now, sir. Patchy: That's okay. I can wait. SpongeBob?! Security Guard: Sir, please step away from the gate. Patchy: Aw, poop deck. I was hoping I could ask SpongeBob to phone up some of his famous friends so he could ask them to be guests on my show. Security Guard: Uh-huh. Oh. You're here for the Casting Department. Patchy: Yeah. Security Guard: In that case, please step right inside, sir. Patchy: Woo! Oh, hey, when'll SpongeBob be here? Where's he? At lunch? At an important meeting? Security Guard: I'm not sure, sir. Patchy: Getting his boat waxed? Security Guard: This way, sir. Patchy: What's he really like? Security Guard: This way, sir. Patchy: Does he come in everyday? Security Guard: This way, sir. Patchy: Does he dye his hair? Security Guard: Walk this way, sir. Patchy: Huh? Security Guard: Here you are, sir. Please wait here while you wait. Can I get you anything, sir? Patchy: Yeah. A shrimp cocktail. Ooh. That's what I call service... with a smile. Gary: Meow. Meow. Meow. | Good morning, Gary! |
Gary: Meow. | A little overboard? And take a chance at being late for the single most greatest day of my career. The eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab. Oh, oh, oh, I think not. No self-respecting Krusty Krab employee would be late on this day. |
Squidward: What the? See you at the big event, Squidward! Can you believe that it's been eleventy-seven years already? Gary: Meow, Meow, Meow. | Oh, Watch the potty mouth, Gare. Today is a day for gentle reflection. Aw, I remember my first visit to the Krusty Krab. |
Harold SquarePants: I don't know. This doesn't seem like a family restaurant. Margaret SquarePants: Oh. Well, what do you think, baby? Should we eat here? Well, okay, then. What would you like? | Krabby Patty! Yummy! Good times. Oh, sorry, Gary, we can reminisce later. I gotta get ready. |
Patchy: Security, more shrimp cocktail in casting, please. Thank you. Devil Potty: Look, Patchy, a Rolodex. Why, it's probably full of celebrity phone numbers. You don't need SpongeBob. You can call them yourself. Go on, have a look. Squawk. Angel Potty: That's private property, Patchy. If you get caught looking at it, we'll never get to meet SpongeBob. Patchy: Yeah, good point. Devil Potty: Don't listen to him. You want your TV show to have big-name guests, don't you? Patchy: Yeah. No. I mean... Devil Potty: Then do it. Angel Potty: Don't do it, Patchy. Devil Potty: Come on. Do it! Do it! Patchy: I shall. Let's see, Dawson, Richard. Rosario. Rosario Dawson! She'll bring a little class to the show. Rosario Dawson: Hello? Patchy: Uh, hello, Rosario. Rosario Dawson: Oh, Goodness. Patchy: It's Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob Patchy: Fan Club. I'm throwing a little TV Patchy: show-tacular, and I need a little celebrity wind in my sail, so to speak. Rosario Dawson: Okay. You need a little mouthwash is what you need. Patchy: I was wondering if you'd like to be my special guest. Rosario Dawson: Are you going to be in the same city? Patchy: Of course, silly. We'll be working closely together all day. Patchy: Well, back to the old Rolodex. Uh, Bo Derek. Bo Diddly. Eddie Deezen. Eddie Deezen? Eddie Deezen: Hey, when do we film? Security Guard: This way, sir. Patchy: Ooh. This will be good. Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog: Yes? Patchy: Ahoy, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Triumph: I'm Busy. Hurry up. Patchy: This is Patchy the Pirate. Triumph: Oh. Don't give me that Patchy stuff. Come on, Depp, I know it's you. Drop the pirate thing. Patchy: You know, I do get that a lot, but seriously, it's not Johnny Depp. Triumph: Come on. Who is this? The pirate from the cereal box or the litter box. Patchy: The one from Encino. It's Patchy, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club. Triumph: Oh, the president. Well, your mother must be so proud. Triumph: Listen, Scratchy. Patchy: It's Patchy. Triumph: You know, Catchy, maybe you should consider wearing two eye patches. That way, you won't be able to see what's become of your life. Patchy: What? Triumph: So, what are you tell me, what are you selling, besides your dignity and self-respect? Patchy: None of the above. I was wondering if you'd like to be a guest on the big TV special. That I am throwing for SpongeBob. Triumph: Sorry, Poop-Leg Pete. I'm a big star. I don't do basic cable. I'm on a major network. Kind of. Patchy: It would sure mean a lot to be personally if you'd be on my show, Triumph. Triumph: Oh, it would mean a lot. Well, why didn't you say so? That changes everything. Patchy: Oh. Triumph: You know, I'd love to be on your show. I'd love it as much as I love pulling ticks off my butt. Patchy: Well, fine. Who needs you, you filthy mongrel? Triumph: Okay, Captain Loser. Send me a script. Patchy: Great! So, you'll be on my show? Triumph: Sure, of course. I'm sure that it's a great script. Three, two, one. For me to poop on! Patchy: Oh, yeah, well, I'll have you know, you are not the biggest star to tell me that. Hello? Hello? Harold: Hey, hey. Chill out, buddy. We all want to get into the Krusty Krab as much as you do. | But I don't have time to wait in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today. |
Harold: Oh! Mable-Monica: Ah! Isabelle Fish: Ooh! Sadie: What the? Frankie Billy: Hey! Fred: Ah! Tom: Eh! Shubie: Uh! | Sorry, everyone, but Mr. Krabs needs me. Reporting for duty, sir. |
Mr. Krabs: Sit down, boy. | Happy eleventy-seventh, Squidward. |
Mr. Krabs: Today's a big a day for the Krusty Krab. So I want yous to listen up. It's a perfect opportunity for Plankton to try and steal the Krabby Patty formula. Squidward: Isn't that just the Krusty Krab? Mr. Krabs: No. It's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances. Squidward: You mean the front door and the back door? Mr. Krabs: Those are just the ones on the surface. There is an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground and I want all eyes on the look out! | Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs. |
Mr. Krabs: Right. Study the map, stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward. Squidward: What? I have never fallen asleep on duty. Mr. Krabs: Don't make me have a flashback. Squidward: All right, point taken. Mr. Krabs: And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security. Squidward: You hired Patrick? Mr. Krabs: What, you expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You are my first line of defense, Patrick. So, look out for any suspiciorous characters. Patrick: Yes, sir. Who are you? And Who are you working for?! Mr. Krabs: Plankton doesn't stand a chance. Plankton: It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe, and a thousand and three times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! I give up, Karen. Krabs has won! Karen: Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. Maybe a thousand and four will be your lucky number. Plankton: Oh, yeah? You try getting launched. Karen: Oh, right, the launchings. I've got them all on my hard drive. Mr. Krabs: Fore! Plankton: Ow! Mr. Krabs: I'm tired today, Plankton. You're just gonna have to launch yourself. Plankton: Splat. Plankton: Karen?! Karen: I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh. Plankton: It's just no use! Karen: Today's the perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this. Plankton: You really think so? Karen: Of course, I do. Now who's my big man? Plankton: Oh, Karen. Karen: Come on. Come on. Who's my big strong man? Plankton: I am. Karen: That's right. Now get out there and steal that recipe. Plankton: Yes, Ma'am! Patchy: Hey, LeBron, how's the Dribbling? LeBron James: Hey, Patchy. What's up? Patchy: How would you, LeBron James, like to be a guest on the fan clubmongorical special for SpongeBob? LeBron James: I Love SpongeBob, man, but I can't, man. I've got a game today, man. Patchy: Oh, come on! The season's hardly even started yet. LeBron James: Huh? Patchy: Oh, they won't care if you miss one game, will they? LeBron James: I have a contract. I have to go. Patchy: Oh, contract schmontract. We have party gifts. LeBron James: Dude, I gotta go. Patchy: Oh! This casting business is harder than 40 years of barnacle buildup. Okay, time to get serious. Tina Fey: Hello. Patchy: Ahoy, Tina. Tina Fey: Who is this? Patchy: Patchy... the pirate. Tina Fey: Oh, I don't know any pirates anymore. Are you sure you have the right number? Patchy: Hey, listen, us bad soul sistas have to stick together, huh? Tina Fey: Sure. Patchy: Great, 'cause I'm throwing a huge telestravaganza for SpongeBob SquarePants and I'd love it if you'd come down and sing a song for us. Tina Fey: I'm not much for singing, but I love SpongeBob. Who else is going to be performing? Patchy: Aren't you the modest one? Well, SpongeBob, for one, will be on the show. Tina Fey: Oh, Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob? Patchy: Who? Tina Fey: Well, you said SpongeBob is going to be on the show. Patchy: That's right. The little sponge is the guest of honor. Tina Fey: But, he's a cartoon, so you mean the guy who does the voice, right? Patchy: Listen, Miss Turner, you let me handle the guests. You stick to your singing and dancing. Tina Fey: Mrs. Turner? Oh, no, this isn't Tina Turner. This is Tina Fey. Patchy: Who? Patchy: Hello? Hello, Tina? You'd better be good to me. Patchy: Will Ferrell: Yeah, who's calling me? Patchy: Hey, Will, it's Patchy the pirate, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club in Encino, and I'm throwing a little TV special for him. Will Ferrell: Oh, really? Well, I'm president of the SpongeBob Fan Club, Tarzana chapter, and I'm throwing a TV show, too, so get in line. Patchy: What?! You can't do that! Will Ferrell: Can't I? Well, guess what? I'm doing it. You'd better wrap your mind around it because guess what? My show's also gonna be a lot better. Patchy: Doubt it. Who are your guests? Will Ferrell: You name it, we've go it: Hollywood stars, musical people, singers, jugglers, a guy who does things with knifes. Do you have that, huh? Who do you have? Patchy: Hang on to your hat. Sir Quentin and Mr. Tinder. Ever heard of 'em? Will Ferrell: What?! The world's fifth best ventriloquist and his wooden sidekick? Patchy: Of course, silly. Will Ferrell: No way! No! Okay, you win this time, but just you wait for the 20th. 'Cause I will come at you harder and faster. Patchy: 20th anniversary... Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs: Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu. Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. Oh, number zero, how I love you so. SpongeBob! | Yes, Sir? |
Mr. Krabs: I'm putting you in charge of decorations. | Oh, but Mr. Krabs. |
Mr. Krabs: Yes boy? | I thought you said that I would be in charge of decorations. |
Mr. Krabs: What? But you are. | I am? Yay! Yeah! Yeah! |
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! I had chores for you, but you won't do 'em anyway. Squidward: It only took you eleventy-seven years for you to figure that out? Mr. Krabs: Here's your budget, boy. Decorate it any way you want. | Wow! Fifty cents! |
Squidward: You’re letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated? Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs: Hmm... | Yee-haw! You come here often? |
Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs: Hmm... Mr. Krabs: Well, you want want to do it, then? Squidward: No. Mr. Krabs: Then shut your porthole. Squidward: Battening down the word hatches, sir. Squidward: What? What are you...? | There we go. Your change, sir. |
Mr. Krabs: Good work boy. What, that's it? Mr. Krabs: Decorations, check. Security? Mr. Krabs: Check. Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs: Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior. Squidward: Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob? | Every word, Squidward, every word. |
Mr. Krabs: So, let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties! | Yes! Yeah! Ooh, I almost forgot. Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one last decoration! I present to you... I present to you... ... my ode to the Krabby Patty made entirely out of ice. |
Mr. Krabs: Yessh, boy. This thing's enormous. Squidward: And cold. Mr. Krabs: All right, let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting. | Ready? Set? Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream. |
Mr. Krabs: The door! | Oh, no. Patrick, stand up! We're locked in! This is gonna spoil the eleventy-seventh anniversary. |
Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want... Mr. Krabs: Somebody... Mr. Krabs and Squidward: Anybody, I don't care who! | How do we get out? |
Mr. Krabs: Everybody calm down. I spent a lifetime working in this restaurant, and I know there's only one way out of here. Patrick: A high school diploma? Mr. Krabs: No, the air duct. This way boys. All we gotta to do is head through this duct. Squidward: Which one? There must be 20 ways to go. | Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized. |
Mr. Krabs: Uh, hmm, uh... | Hurry up, guys, this kind of hurts. |
Mr. Krabs: Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these three moldy tree stumps, then head towards that kidney-bean shaped puddle of gravy. Squidward: That's not the map, you old barnacle. those are three moles and a birthmark. Mr. Krabs: Oh. All right, then, let's try this one. Squidward: It's this way. Patrick: Here it is. Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's this? It's an old Krabby Patty wrapper. Aah, that takes me back to the good old days. TV Narrator (1950s): Now a word from our sponsor. Female Singers: ♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y ♪ Male Singers: ♪ Bud dum dum dum dum ♪ Female Singers: ♪ Krabby Patty give 'em a try ♪ Mr. Krabs: ♪ Come on down and... ♪ Mr. Krabs and the Female Singers: ♪ ...buy, buy, buy. ♪ Female Singers: ♪ Not just one or two or three, but enough for the whole, family. ♪ TV Narrator (1950s): Yes, folks, nine out of ten doctors recommend eating at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and a youthful, positive attitude. Dr. Krabs: I'm a doctor... as far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life. So, what are you waiting for? Go out and get yourself a Krabby Patty. Or go out and buy a Sackful of Krabbies. Or better yet, go out and get yourself a case of the Krabbies. For your health. Female Singers: ♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y Krabby Patty. ♪ Mr. Krabs: Back then, Krabby Patties only cost a dime. It was a dark and evil time. I still have nightmares. Squidward: We'll never get out of here. | Don't worry Squidward. We'll find a way out and then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever. All we have to do is stick together. |
Squidward: Stop breathing on my neck. Yuck. Mr. Krabs: Hey, I think I see the exit. Mr. Krabs: Ah, barnacles. It's just the Surveillance Room. | Oh. My house is on TV. |
Squidward: All of our houses are on TV. Gary: Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. | Gary the snail, you get down from that bed this instant. |
Patrick: Hey, there's my house. Squidward: You left your TV on. Patrick: Well, duh. I don't want to miss my shows. | Look, it's Sandy! |
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, why do you have cameras watching us? Mr. Krabs: Oh, uh... uh... uh... I just want to make sure you all floss after ever meal. | Thank you, Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very, very important. |
Patrick: Hey, who are those guys? | I think it's us, Patrick. But, who are they ? |
Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! Me customers are getting antsy. Crowd: ...Patties! We want Krabby Patties! Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs: We're getting warm. I can feel it. | That might just be my hand, Mr. Krabs. |
Mr. Krabs: Hmm, a crossroads. I'll go this way, and SpongeBob, you lead them down that way. | Lead them? I can finally use my leader hat... and my lederhosen. |
Patrick: Nice. Squidward: Those are just sock garters, you idiot. | Follow me! |
Squidward: This is not happening. It's just not happening. | Guys, its a dead end. |
Patchy: Hey, I went to Blackbeard Polytechnic with this guy. He has to be on my show, according to pirates' code. Craig Ferguson: Hello. Patchy: Is this Captain Craig, son of Fergu? Craig Ferguson: Oh, hey, Patchy the Pirate. Patchy: How's me old Blackbeard College Roommate? Craig Ferguson: You know, I'm good, I'm good, Patchy. Listen, it would be great to go plunging down memory rapids with you, but I'm kind of busy right now. Patchy: Listen, Fergulicious. I was hoping I could get you to appear on my SpongeBob Fan Club tenth year anniversary show tonight. Craig Ferguson: Uh, no. No, that's not going to work for me. Patchy: Oh, you have to. It's in the pirates' code. Craig Ferguson: Arr! Patchy: Argh! Craig Ferguson: Arrghh! Patchy: Arrr! Craig Ferguson: Grrr! Patchy: Oh, no. I'm not gonna go there. 'Cause I see how it is, Mr. Big Shot, Mr. TV. No time for your old pirate school buddies anymore. Craig Ferguson: That's right, Patchy. I got my own network TV show now. Patchy: Oh, great. So, how's on your big fancy-schmancy TV show Tonight? Craig Ferguson: Actually, we've got a real A-lister tonight. Robin Williams is on. Patchy: Robin Williams?! Go to go, Fergo. Craig Ferguson: Where's my bagel?! Bagel! Patchy: Thanks for the tip, Ferguson. Patchy: Mr. Williams. How are...? Robin Williams: Whoa. Give me one. Patchy: So, are you-ho-ho, here for the show? Robin Williams: I am. I'm a little late. Patchy: This way. Robin Williams: Right this. There isn't someone dressed up as Popeye is there? Patchy: I never heard of him. ...Go. Robin Williams: What's your name again? Patchy: Keep up, Mr. Williams. Pagey, Pagey the Pirate Robin Williams: Pagey, oh. Oh excuse me just one second. Patchy: Oh, Mr. Williams, that's not for you. Robin Williams: Okay. Not for me. I've never been this way. Patchy: You've signed all the releases and everything? Robin Williams: Um, not yet, but... What-what part of the studio is this? Patchy: Oh, it's the part, that... We're on our way to the green room. Robin Williams: Oh. Patchy: Don't you worry, Mr. Williams. Robin Williams: I've never been to this part of the studio before. Patchy: Oh, it's its a new way. Robin Williams: A new way? Robin Williams: You don't mind if I use...? Patchy: Oh, sure. Robin Williams: Thank you. Patchy: Oh, and Mr. Williams I... Robin Williams: Sorry. Patchy: It's okay. I'll just wait out here. Robin Williams: Hey, Dave, I'm at the Ferguson Show... I think. And there's this pirate... Patchy: Mr. Williams, everything okay on the poop deck? Robin Williams: I'll be right there. Patchy: Okay. Robin Williams: I don't know if there doing a takeoff Hook, or if I'm being... Patchy: Everything okay Mr. Williams? Robin Williams: Yeah, everything's fine, Patchy. Patchy: All righty. Robin Williams: I'll be right out! Robin Williams: I'll call you back if I need any help. I'm going to leave the phone in my pocket. Patchy: Time is money. Everything all right in there? Robin Williams: uh, yes, yes, but... Patchy: I'm sorry, I don't want to be late for the show, Mr. Williams. Robin Williams: Oh, I don't either. Which way? Patchy: Go that way. Robin Williams: That way. Patchy: Go that way. Robin Williams: That way? Patchy: That way. Robin Williams: Where are we? Patchy: Oh, just a place I know of. Robin Williams: What are we in the basement of the Copa? This is like a shot from The Raging Bull. This is an abduction. Patchy: Oh, abduction? Robin Williams: Oh, wait a minute, this is nuts. Patchy: Abduction? Robin Williams: What are you laughing about? This is.. Wait a minute, I know this place. This is where careers come to die! Patchy: Right this way, Mr. Williams. Robin Williams: Oh, Patchy. Patchy: The Green Room. Robin Williams: The old green room. Patchy: 'Cause its green. There you go, right there. Sit down. I'm gonna to get more celebrities, okay? Robin Williams: More? Patchy: Don't Try to escape! I mean... enjoy our hospitality. Who else you got, Ferguson?! Narrator: It's Patchy the Pirate's SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club Big Time Impressive Celebrity Television Extravaganza. With Celebrity guests-- basketball mascot, The 3 Point Fowl, The Guy on the Penny, her majesty, the Queen, musical guest, P!nk, Sir Quentin and his little wooden sidekick, Mr. Tinder, and guest of honor SpongeBob SquarePants. From Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club and your host, Patchy the Pirate. Patchy: ♪ Ten years of Sponge... ♪ Potty: Brawk. You're looking at the wrong camera. Patchy: What? Potty, where are ya? Potty: Cue camera three. Patchy: I can't hear you. Potty: Cue Talent. Patchy: Cue? What does that mean? Patchy: What are you pointing at me for? You have a headache? Anyhoo, can you believe it, kids? It's been ten years since I started the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club. And he's here in person. I'm finally gonna meet me idol. Let's bring him out now. Nobody cares. Without further ado, please welcome SpongeBob SquarePants. Without further ado, please welcome SpongeBob SquarePants. Potty: Squawk, squawk, squawk. Patchy: What?! What do you mean he's not coming?! Ten years, I've been president in his fan club. He never answered any of my letters. He never showed up to any of my charity luncheons. Now I throw him a television extravaganza, and he can't even be bothered to show up?! Well, we'll just see about that! You want a piece of me, well, you're going to get one. Think you can spurn my advances, eh? I've been a fan since the beginning. Ten...Oh! Oh... P!nk: I can't believe I gave up my Hawaiian Vacation for this. Mr. Tinder: I really love your music. P!nk: Remind me to make my agent walk the plank. The Queen: How are we supposed to eat these? Potty: Can I get you anything? The Queen: A pineapple slicer, please. P!nk: Passage on the next steamer out of here? Potty: Just five more minutes. P!nk: Well, there's no use sitting around like a bunch of barnacles on the bottom of a dry dock dinghy. Let's do some practicing! Band: Arr! P!nk: One, two, three, four! ♪ Our gums are black, our teeth are falling out. We got spots on our backs, so give it up and shout. ♪ P!nk and the band: ♪ We got scurvy. ♪ P!nk: ♪ We need Vitamin C. ♪ P!nk and the band: ♪ We got scurvy. ♪ P!nk: ♪ We need a lemon tree. ♪ P!nk and the band: ♪ We got scurvy. ♪ P!nk: ♪ We just chillin' on the sea. ♪ Let's get this scurvy started. ♪ A pirate ain't worthy til he's got some scurvy. Since you got your scurvy, oh, you unnerve me when you sing that song. Scurvy! ♪ the band: ♪ Scurvy! ♪ P!nk: ♪ We got scurvy! ♪ the band: ♪ Scurvy! ♪ P!nk: ♪ We got scurvy! ♪ the band: ♪ Scurvy! ♪ P!nk: ♪ We got scurvy. ♪ the band: ♪ Scurvy. ♪ Patchy: Hey! Patchy: there it is. I'm coming for ya, SquarePants. Plankton: Thank Neptune that's over. Plankton: SpongeBob! Aggh! Why must you always ruin my plans? | Plankton, you're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again. |
Plankton: Uh, I didn't, uh... Okay fine. You caught me. You happy now? | You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories. |
Plankton: Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me. | Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office. |
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you've been working here for a while now, so I think I can trust you. It's time I told you. | You mean? |
Mr. Krabs: Yes. The Krabby Patty formular. Follow me, son. We need to go where no one will ever hear us. Ugh. We finally made it. Quick, into me office before anyone sees us. Plankton: What? You went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay in the Krusty Krab? | We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then, Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe. |
Plankton: Yes? Go on. Mr. Krabs: Now, remember, you can never tell another living soul. Plankton: Wait! Wait! Hold on! Mr. Krabs: What's that? Plankton: My pen is out of ink. Okay, okay, go ahead. Mr. Krabs: Plankton. You'll never have get me formula. Not even in a flashback. Squidward: SpongeBob, if you had never come to Bikini Bottom, this wouldn't be happening- Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's with the creepy smile? Squidward: I was just remembering the world before SpongeBob. Flowers: Morning, Squidward. Squidward: Good Morning, Not SpongeBob. | But, Squidward, you're glad I moved in. Remember that day. ah-uh. Nah. No. |
Patty Rechid: Okay well, that's every available house in Bikini Bottom. Squidward: My secret garden is finally done. Patty Rechid: Oh yeah, I forgot that one. | It's beautiful. I'll take it. Hi, neighbor! I'm SpongeBob SquarePants. And we're going to be bestest friends. Hey Patrick. Guess, who just moved in right next door? |
Patrick: Neighbor hug! Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We Want Krabby Patties! Mr. Krabs: What's the sound? Customers! Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want to spend money! Harold: What do we want? Crowd: Krabby Patties! Harold: Why do want them? Crowd: To Spend Money! Mr. Krabs: Oh no. All that loose change out there is driving me wallet mad with money lost. Poor little guy's starving. There you go, boy. You're free. Go towards the money boy. Towards the money! Dave: Hey a wallet! And there's 50 bucks in it. All right! Mr. Krabs: Hey! Oh no! What am I going to do? We gotta get out of here. Now! | Oh. If only Sandy were here. She could help us. |
Patrick: Oh! Hey, maybe we can use this. I borrowed it from Sandy's treedome. It might be our way outta here. Shh! Everybody quiet! Hey, Sandy, I got your radio! If you want it back, come and get it! She'll come. Squidward: Oh, give me that. Sandy, come in, Sandy. Sandy: Sandy Cheeks here. So, it was you who stole my other radio, Squidward! Squidward: What? No. I'm just-- I Patrick: Sandy's trapped in that box! Sandy? | Remember the day Sandy and I got married? |
Mr. Krabs: What? Squidward: No. Patrick: I'm freaking out! | Mm-hmm. |
Wedding Officiant: Friends, we have gathered here today to join these two hearts in the bonds of love. SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife? | I do. |
Wedding Officiant: And Sandy, do you take SpongeBob as your lawfully wedded husband? Sandy: And how! Wedding Officiant: Well then, I now pronounce you sponge and squirrel. You may kiss the bride. Frank (red shirt): Boo! You Stink! Mr. Krabs: Worst play I've ever seen. And a total rip-off! Fish: What has happened to the theater? Another Fish: Lousy costumes. Wedding Officiant: I didn't know this was a play. Patchy: Well kids, this was supposed to be the part of the show where SpongeBob and I were gonna watch old outtakes and rejected scenes and talk about 'em. But he never showed up! And now I'm stuck in the belly of a whale! Oh well. We already paid for the airtime, so here they are. Hello children. You know, like any great work of art, SpongeBob did not just appear out of nowhere. He started out as a thought. Then he evolved into a primitive rendering... And along the way to becoming the sponge we all know and love, he went through many different changes. And phases and phanges. And change can be very painful. For instance, did you know that SpongeBob was not the first choice to star in the show? Hard to believe, I know. Watch these opening themes, and you'll see why he was eventually picked. Painty: Are you ready, kids? Kids: Aye, aye, Captain. Painty: I can't hear you. Kids: Aye, aye, Captain! Painty: Oh... ♪Who lives in a monument under the sea?♪ Kids: ♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ Painty: ♪Obnoxious, abrasive, conceded is he.♪ Kids: ♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ Painty: ♪If practical common sense be something you wish,♪ Kids: ♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ Patchy: Next! Painty: Are you ready, kids? Kids: Aye, aye, Captain. Painty: I can't hear you. Kids: Aye, aye, Captain! Painty: Oh... ♪Who lives like a barnacle under the sea?♪ Kids: ♪Patrick Sea Star!♪ Patrick: Oh! Patchy: Nope! Painty: Are you ready, kids? Kids: Aye, aye, Captain. Painty: I can't hear you. Kids: Aye, aye, Captain! Painty: Oh... ♪Who lives in an anchor under the sea?♪ Kids: ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ Mr. Krabs: Hey! Painty: ♪Crusty and red and greedy is he.♪ Mr. Krabs: Come back with me money! Kids: ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ Painty: ♪If stingy and greedy is something you wish,♪ Kids: ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ Mr. Krabs: Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money. Patchy: Ugh. Pretty cruddy, huh kids? Here's a really old clip of SpongeBob. Back then, cartoons were called flickering funnies. Furniture: ♪Time to go to work!♪ | ♪I'm ready, I'm ready to go to work.♪ |
Furniture: ♪He's ready,♪ | Ready! |
Furniture: ♪He's ready to go to work.♪ | Yeah! Hello, Krusty Krab! ♪I'm ready, I'm ready to go to work.♪ |
Pineapple and The Krusty Krab: ♪He's ready, he's ready to go to work.♪ | ♪I'm ready, I'm ready to go to work.♪ |
Order Window and grill: ♪He's ready,♪ | I'm ready! |
Order Window and grill: ♪He's ready,♪ | Ready! |
Order Window and grill: ♪To go to work.♪ Patchy: Oh you. You little scalawag. Hey, kids. Just having some technical difficulties. Oh! Oh. don't sneeze. don't sneeze. Whale: Ah... Ah... Patchy: Oh... Ooh... Huh! There it is! SpongeBob's house! Oh, I finally get to meet me hero! Whoo! | Well, hello. Are you okay? Mister? |
The Guy on the Penny: Mister, are you okay? Patchy: SpongeBob? The Guy on the Penny: No, it’s just me, the Guy on the Penny. Patchy: How'd I get here? Where's SpongeBob? Ah who am I kidding? I'm never going to see SpongeBob. The Queen: Hardly. You can see SpongeBob everywhere. The Guy on the Penny: See? Patchy: I knew it. SpongeBob. Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! | We didn't even get to celebrate the Krusty Krab's eleventy-seventh anniversary. We missed what could have been the greatest party ever! |
Patrick: Hmm. You guys ready to give up? Mr. Krabs: Yes. Squidward: Yes. Patrick: And I'll just write my... myself down here for... for giving up too. Right, SpongeBob? | No, Patrick, I don't want to give up. |
Patrick: Ooh! I know. Uh, let's just say are tearful farewells and solemn last words, huh? Mr. Krabs: I didn't make any money. Squidward: I never made anyone sick with envy. Patrick: I didn't get to sleep in this morning. | Guys, we can't give up now. We got into this mess together, and we'll get out of it the same way. |
Patrick: Through the freezer? | No. By using our heads. |
Mr. Krabs: To concoct an elaborate escape plan? | No. As a battering ram. Hup. |
Patrick: Owie! Squidward: Ow! Mr. Krabs: Ow! Patrick: Owie! Squidward: Ow! Mr. Krabs: Ow! Patrick: Owie! Squidward: Ow! Mr. Krabs: Ow! | Okay. This is the one. Feel very good about this. Okay. Ready? |
Mr. Krabs: Oh boy, we made it out! Woo-hoo! Money! Money! Money! Money! Come on in folks. No need to shove. Plenty of room for all your money! and i-... Gasp! Where are all me customers? They left.. with all their money?! Squidward: We went through all that for nothing?! | Oh, it was not for nothing, Squidward. I spent the whole day with my best friends. You, Squidward. And you Patrick. |
Patrick: What now? | And let's not forget the man who made it all possible. Mr. Krabs. What could be better? |
Mr. Krabs: Money! | ♪ Oh! ♪ |
Squidward: Oh no. He's not going to sing. | Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh how I love you, Krusty Krab. Your Krabby Patties from the grill. The smell of grease gives me a thrill. Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh how I love you, Krusty Krab. With prices high and your portions small. The stains of mustard on the wall. Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh how I love you, Krusty Krab. Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh how I love ya, Krusty Krab. Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh how I love you, Krusty Krab. ♪ |
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, look. Mr. Krabs: Me customers? They're coming back? SpongeBob's dopey little song is bringing 'em back. | Oh Krusty Krab, you've always been there for me. When I'm tired and hungry, I just reach out my hand, and there you are with a Krabby Patty that's all so hot and juicy. Are you with me people?! |
Crowd: Yeah! | I said, are you with me people?! |
Crowd: Yeah! | In that case, let's get some Krabby Patties! |
Plankton: There's no one here. The Krusty Krab is empty. I've won! The Krabby formula is mine. It took eleventy-seven years, but I got it! Oh no. No! Oh, nuts. | Did somebody order a Krabby...? Whoa! Look out. Oh. Oh, coming through. Whoa. Ooh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. |
Martha, Frankie Billy, and Bill: Hooray! Mr. Krabs: Ah, 'tis a beautiful sight. It warms me heart. Me Krabby Patty recipe! What's it doin' out here? Whoa-ho! Shoulda known! Plankton. Plankton: Hey Krabs. uh, happy eleventy-seventh? Mr. Krabs: It's launchin' time. Plankton: Please Krabs, no! I can't take it anymore! No more launching, please?! Mr. Krabs: Oh all right. Since I'm such in a good mood, I'll go easy on you this time. There. Happy landings, Plankton! Plankton: You know, this isn't so bad. Everyone looks like little ants from up here. Wait. Help. Mr. Krabs: Stay away from the high-tension wires. Allow me to open the door for a valued customer. Dave: Gee thanks mister. Today must be my lucky day. I found a wallet with 50 bucks in it. Mr. Krabs: Wow, that's some coincidence 'cause I just lost one earlier today with 50 bu...! Hey! Wait a minute! Come back with me wallet ya thieving bilge rat! | Happy anniversary, Krusty Krab. |
Ricky Gervais: Wow, Patchy sure made a mess of things, didn't he? He's not much of a pirate either, really, come to think of it. That's the problem. Not like Blackbeard. Whoa, now there was a pirate. Now Blackbeard would have been able to get the real A-listers on his TV special. Yeah, your Bruce Willises and your Gwyneth Paltrows and Ricky Gervaises. Let's not forget him. Brilliant. He wouldn't even have to shanghai them. They would have shown up on set out of respect. and fear. Back then, pirates were serious business. Patchy's kinda giving pirates a bad name, really, if I'm being brutally honest. Oh well, thanks for watching, kiddies. We'll see you at the 20th anniversary. That's 10 years from now. Starting now. Original Version Patchy: Oh, hi, kids! Patchy Pirate here on a glorious day. I'm going to deliver this here very special present to SpongeBob on his birthday. That is, if I can get this blasted boat to start. And start! Potty: Maybe if you remembered to fill the tank with gas... Patchy: Oh, Potty, you're full of gas! Get outta here! Potty: I see the problem! Patchy: Walking is better than driving anyway. I've been meaning to work on me land legs. Potty: Squawk, squawk! Patchy: Now to see which way the wind is blowing. This way! Whoa! Potty: Hard to port! SpongeBob's alarm clock: Wake up! Gary: | What? Today? My birthday? Oh, Gary, you know I never pay attention to those sorts of things. Oh, wow, Gary! Did you make me this jellyfishing net yourself? |
Gary: Meow! | Best present ever! |
Sandy: Aw, come on, Patrick. We've been up all night. For the one millionth time, you're going to get SpongeBob out of his house with a sight-seeing tour so we can go in and decorate it for his surprise party. Okay?! Repeat it back to me. Patrick: Gotcha. I'm gonna collect all the pretty eggs that I can see and repeat it back to me. Patrick: Hmm? Oh, would you look at the hour? It's almost time for me to take SpongeBob on that tour so you guys can decorate his house. Mr. Krabs, Mrs. Puff, Old Man Walker, Bubble Bass, and Plankton: Huh? Plankton: Huh. I guess even a broken moron can be right once a day. Patrick: Hey, what's the big idea? Plankton: It's part of the plan, idiot! I jump from your shorts into SpongeBob's pocket to get his keys? Remember? Patrick: Okay, well, don't mess with my stuff in there. Get SpongeBob on the bus. Get SpongeBob on the bus. Get SpongeBob on the bus. | Hi, buddy. |
Patrick: Uh... | You remembered my birthday! Oh, and you got me a sight-seeing bus tour as a present! |
Patrick: Huh? Oh, oh! And—and there's a secret I'm not supposed to tell you, which is... Nope. I lost everything in the fire. Who are you? Who am I? Where are we? | I have an idea, pal. How would you like to take a little sight-seeing tour with me? |
Patrick: Wow. Thank you, kind stranger. Plankton: Hmm? Ow! I've got his house key! Hey! This is the key to the Krusty Krab! The secret formula is— Ow! Mr. Krabs: Nice work, Plankton, and nice try. Hold on there, old timer. We're gonna need you as a lookout. Old Man Walker: What? Cook out? Mr. Krabs: When you see SpongeBob approaching, give a holler. Can ya holler? Mr. Krabs: Eh, not bad. You just keep practicing that, tiger. Old Man Walker: Huh? Tiger? There's a tiger? Oh! Sandy: Come on! We need to make room inside for the party. Plankton: I could use a little help here! Mr. Krabs: Sorry, my claws are full. Bubble Bass: Where do we put all this junk? Sandy: Follow me. Just a little further. Squidward: Ah, I sure worked up that sweat. What is SpongeBob's awful furniture doing in my house? Sandy: We're gussying up SpongeBob's house for his party, and something about you tells me you are quite the interior decorator. Squidward: Hmm? Of course! I didn't give myself all those awards for nothing! Sandy: Yee-haw! SpongeBob's place is gonna look prettier than a country bride! | Whoo-hoo! Oh, this is so exciting! I wonder where we're going? |
Rube: We're going to Surface Land! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: | Surface Land? |
Patrick: Rube: Hi, everybody, and welcome to Surface Land Tours! I'm your tour guide, Rube. SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Hi, Rube! Rube: Before we drive to the amazing Surface Land, I'm required to read you these tour bus rules. Please sit in an upright position. Absolutely no bad language! No horseplay! And no digging, no dancing, no tanning, no cooking, no fencing, no drowning, no molting, no running, no trespassing, no peeking, and no balloons! | Aww. Not even birthday balloons? |
Rube: Oh, my goodness! Is it your birthday? | Yes! |
Rube: Well, I would love for everyone to sing happy birthday to you! Tourist #1: Yes! | Aww, really? That is so — |
Rube: Not now, of course. Tour time is tight! Whoa! Okay, everybody, we're on Upseedaisy Street, and ready for lift off! SpongeBob and Patrick: Lift off? Rube: Amazing! | Oh, are we there yet? |
Rube: Almost. But we need a little boast to the surface. SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! French Narrator: One Little Boast to the Surface Later... SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh! | Look, it's Sandy's friend, Frenchy! Oui, oui! |
Rube: You can say that again, birthday boy. Oui, oui! Patrick: Can you guys please stop saying wee wee? Gotta go! Gotta go! Rube: Wave goodbye to Frenchy, everybody! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Goodbye, Frenchy! French Narrator: Au revoir, my friends! David Hasselhoff: Ah! Tartar sauce! Rube: Now remember, everyone, keep your arms and legs inside the bus at all times 'cause we are about to encounter a gaggle of nearly naked beach giraffes! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh! SpongeBob and Patrick: Nearly naked beach giraffes! Rube: Don't worry, everyone. The beach giraffes may look crazy, but they're actually peaceful creatures. Let's get a closer look. Can: Hey, kids, welcome to Beach Blanket Bean-go! And here's your host, Beanie McBeans! Beanie McBeans: Hey! What do you want? Beach Goers: Beans! Beanie McBeans: When do you want them? Beach Goers: Beans! Beanie McBeans: Ha, ha! Beach Goers: Beans, beans, beans...! Beanie McBeans: Beans, beans, good for your heart! They make you strong, they make you smart! When I eat beans, I squeal! I eat beans with every meal! You do, too! You know you do! Beans, beans! Beans, beans, beans! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Oh, he's good. Beanie McBeans: All right, you know the rules. First question: How many beans are in a 16 ounce can? Contestant #1: Uh? Three million? Beanie McBeans: Sorry! Wrong answer! Contestant #1: Yeah! Beanie McBeans: Better luck next time! And now it's time for our next contestant. Contestant #2: Hi! Beanie McBeans: What is your favorite kind of bean? Contestant #2: Um... strawberry beans? Beanie McBeans: Is the correct answer! Contestant #2: Ooh! Yay! Patrick: So many beans! | Uh-oh. |
Rube: Whoa! Patrick: Must have beans! SpongeBob, Rube, and the tourists: Whoa! Uh-oh! Patrick: Beans, beans, beans, beans, beans! Beach Goers: Whoa! Rube: Stop! Patrick: Wrong answer! | Patrick! You ate all the water! |
Patrick: It's not my fault. The water got in the way! Rube: Passengers, do not panic! We can get water right over there. Female Beach Goer: Okay. Perfect! Rube: Ah! And we're back! | Yeesh, I thought this was my birthday, not my deathday! I'm sorry, Patrick. I was just kidding. Oh! What am I looking at?! |
Rube: You're looking at an amazing creature that is just as afraid as you are of it. SpongeBob and Patrick: I doubt it! Rube: I'm telling ya, that is a blue feathered northwestern pie-dragon. So calm down, guys. It only eats pies. I was wrong! It's gonna eat us! Run! Dog Walker: Whoa! Mr. Krabs: I should be decorating! No one here knows diddly about SpongeBob! Squidward: I know more about SpongeBob than I care to! So I should decorate. Mrs. Puff: Have you ever taught him to drive?! Plankton: Have you ever tried to annihilate him?! Sandy: Now hold your horses! Seems like everyone has their own ideas about how to decorate for SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Mrs. Puff, Plankton, and Bubble Bass: Surprise! Sandy: Not now! Mr. Krabs: Well, since SpongeBob works for me, I know he'd like a Krusty Krab theme! Plankton: Working for you means he's a masochist. So, a torture theme is the way to go. Ow! Mrs. Puff: A driving theme is what SpongeBob would love. Squidward: Hmm. Unleaded. Bubble Bass: You're all lame! The theme has got to be Mermaid Man or nada. Squidward: I'm obviously his idol. A theme based on me is the only — Sandy: Everybody hog-tie your lips and listen up! Since we all know what SpongeBob likes best, how about each of us gets to decorate one section of the house? Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Mrs. Puff, Plankton, and Bubble Bass: Oh! Sandy: Hiya! Oh. Sorry, Squidward. Squidward: Hmm. Sorry, Squidward... Bubble Bass: Behold my super pit power! Squidward: No, no, no! Mrs. Puff: Ew! Will you kindly keep your Squidward puddle on your side of the line?! Mr. Krabs: Ha! You tell him, sweetheart. Whoa! That hurt-erer. Plankton: Oh, yeah, looks like the Party Wars are just beginning. Sandy: Eew! Mr. Krabs: You did that on purpose. Sandy: Aw! Tell it to your Aunt Chovy! Old Man Walker: Well, I need to use the little boy's room. Mrs. Puff: Oh, yes! What I need is you! Old Man Walker: Oh, just — wait a minute, lady! Mrs. Puff: Now my Pedestrians Have The Right Of Way display is perfect! Old Man Walker: Is this the restroom? Bubble Bass: Why do you get to use this elder? I saw him first! You'll make a great Mermaid Man. Old Man Walker: There's only one thing I want to make. Rube: Aren't these leafy things amazing? | Ooh! My friend Sandy has one of these. They call them trees. |
SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube, and the tourists: Whoa! Rube: I didn't know that. Wow! Look at the big brain on the birthday boy! Patrick: Nobody looks at my friend's brain without permission! SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube, and the tourists: Whoa! Dog Walker: Oh, who's a good dog? Go get it! Go get it! Go get it, girl! Get it! Yeah! Good girl! | What a birthday! Beach giraffes, pie-dragons, and beans! Oh, I can't wait to see what happens next! |
Rube: Oh, my! It's a flying pie! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh! Patrick: And here comes the pie-dragon! Rube: That sure was a close one, eh, folks? Amazing! Dog Walker: Whoa! | It's coming back! |
Rube: We're not pie! Why is it chasing us?! Why? Why? | Patrick, let go of that pie! Bad Patrick, bad! Yah! |
Patrick: Aww, I wanted flying pie. | Take this instead |
Rube: Okay. We'll stay on the path, where it's not so dangerous. And I think that this is the perfect time to sing Happy Birthday to our little square friend here! Patrick, Rube, and the tourists: ♪ Happy birthday — ♪ Charlie: Look out! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Road hog! Party Guests: Oh, boy. Oh, man, I am starving. I haven't been to a party in 20 years. Larry: Yo, dude. Is this the line for SpongeBob's party? Slappy: Oh, yes. Mmm... I brought the birthday cake. Larry: It's gone. Slappy: Oh, no, it's still here. Larry: Do me a favor, Slappy. When we're inside, stay away from me. Party Guests: Say, what a party! They really dressed up the place. Yeah, there it is. Smells great. Margaret SquarePants: Our boy sure has a lot of interesting friends. What kind of party food is that, dear? Harold SquarePants: Uh, aquarium fish flakes. Margaret SquarePants: Well, now it is a party! Mr. Krabs: Step right up to enter the Krusty Krab section of this party. Old Man Walker: What do I do to get in? Mr. Krabs: Just consent to a pat down, old timer. Old Man Walker: Oh, boy. Okay. Mr. Krabs: Ooh! Okay, you're good. Squidward: Hmm. Lowbrow compared to highbrow. Say, aren't you a little old for this weenie wizard stuff? Bubble Bass: I am casting a vanishing spell upon you. Begone! Squidward: Begone! Water! Bubble Bass: Huh? Ooh! I have powers! Harold and Grubby Grouper: Ooh! Cake! Sandy: Please, everybody, don't eat the party food! We have to wait for SpongeBob! It's supposed to be a surprise! Party Guests: Surprise! Sandy: Not now! Party Guests: Aww! Evelyn Annette: Sorry. Sandy: Please be careful. Sandy: Hey, hey, hey! Don't sit on that table! Slappy: Oh, I'm just having fun, and I brought cake. Sandy: Aww! I just had my tail done! This makes me hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch! Hiya! Slappy: Surprise. Sandy: Not yet. Tom: Hey! How much for this one? Squidward: Oh, no. That's a present for SpongeBob—ten bucks. Tom: Here's some fun back at ya! I love your work. Have you got anything heavier? Sandals: Ow, man. What the heck? Plankton: It's a theme party. Get into it. Say it, Fred. Fred: No. Plankton: Say it! Fred: My leg. Grubby Grouper: Party games! Sandy: Hey! Don't do that! Sandy: Uh-oh. I hope someone brings a wall as a present. Make that two walls. Mrs. Puff: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sandy: Great idea, Puff! Some positive energy! Hey, everybody! Dance party! Yee-haw! Come on, boys. Move those feet! Do-si-do! Sandy: SpongeBob better come home soon. I don't know how long I can keep these folks dancing. Oh, you took me by surprise. Party Guests: Surprise! Sandy: Not now! | Wow! In Surface Land, everywhere you go is full of surprises! |
Patrick: Yeah, I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet. SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Wow! Rube: As you can see, Surface Land is full of unexplained wonders! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Whoa! | Best birthday ride ever! I've read about this place, Patrick. It's the Paperclip Jungle! |
Patrick: They're everywhere. Female Office Employee #1: Just let me copy it! Female Office Employee #2: My fault? How is it my fault? | Ooh, what happens in here? |
Patrick: Smells like flop sweat! Rube: Shh! This is the secret hive of the Double-breasted Seer Suckers. Let's watch their strange rituals! SpongeBob, Patrick, and the tourists: Ooh! Female Office Employee #3: He's coming! SpongeBob, Patrick, Rube, and the tourists: Huh? SpongeBob and Patrick: The pie dragon! Rube: This bunch of bananas is getting too crazy to comfort. We'd better split! PA System: Lunch time! Boss, the Dog, the Dog Walker, and Office Employees: Huh? Rube: Crash positions, everybody! SpongeBob and Patrick: Crash positions! Check! | The Trusty Slab? Sounds familiar. |
Rube: Whew! Sorry for the detour, folks. Now back to de-tour. Patrick: Ooh! They grow 'em big up here, SpongeBob! Oh, come here. Rube: Let's watch these hungry beach giraffes as they struggle to communicate. Patrick (live-action): No, no, wait! Uh, I'll have the, uh... Mr. Manward: Sir, could you please order something? There are a lot of people waiting here. Some of us have lives. Patrick (live-action): Oh, don't rush me! I almost had it! Uh... Patrick: That guy's so dumb! Carol: Where in tarnation is my lunch?! The service here is slower than a three-legged dog in molasses! Mr. Slabs: Me customers! All right, all right, all right! What's the hold up here, Mr. Manward? Mr. Manward: How should I know? Go ask your persnickety fry cook. Between him and this other idiot, we're not gonna make it through the lunch rush alive. Mr. Slabs: Well, I'll just see about that! You'll be having the number three with cheese! Patrick (live-action): Aw, that's what I was gonna order. I'll have the—the number cheese with cheese. Mr. Manward: Don't you have somewhere else to be a nitwit? Patrick (live-action): Not until 4:00. Mr. Slabs: JimBob! JimBob: Hi! Mr. Slabs: Got a restaurant full of hungry customers out there! Where are the burgers? JimBob: Ooh, Mr. Slabs, you know that I can't serve a Slabby Patty ♪until it's cooked just right!♪ ♪Slabby Patty and it's cooked just right, Slabby Patty, day and night, what a nifty tasty sight! Slabby Patty and it's cooked just right—♪ | I love this guy! |
JimBob: ♪Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo! Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo!♪ Mr. Slabs: Enough of that! JimBob: Sorry, sir. Mr. Slabs: Get those ship-shape burgers shipped out or you'll be doing soft shoe across the street at the Crumb Basket! JimBob: Yes, Mr. Slabs. It won't happen again, Mr. Slabs. Sorry, Mr. Slabs. Mr. Slabs: Hmm, that'll be the day... JimBob: All right, troops, prepare to be deployed! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Giant patties! JimBob: What fun! | Ooh, I just gotta get a closer look at that glorious spatula! |
JimBob: Oops, forgot the cheese! | Oh! Patrick! Patrick, help! |
Patrick: Huh? Oh! I'm coming, buddy! | Never get out of the bus, Patrick. Never get out of the bus! |
Patrick: Who's hungry? Rube: Amazing! Lunch time, everybody! Carol: Where's the meat? Dagnabit! That's it! I'm taking my business elsewhere! Mr. Charleston: You're not going anywhere, sister! Sit down! And everybody freeze! This is a robbery! Slabs! Show yourself! Mr. Slabs: You can only have me register over me cold lifeless shell! Mr. Charleston: Nobody wants your stupid money. Mr. Slabs: Huh? Mr. Charleston: Hand over the Slabby Patty secret sauce recipe and nobody gets vaporized, see? You all have until the count of three. A-one, a-two... Carol: Ha! Karate chop! You're welcome! Patrick: Ha! She chopped him real good! Mr. Slabs: Fear not, gentle customers. This is not a robber. This is my lame competition across the street, Charleston! Mr. Charleston: What gave me away? My voice? Mr. Slabs: No, your knit cap had one eye hole. Mr. Charleston: Ugh! Foiled by a hand crocheted gift! Mark my words, Slabs, maybe not today but, oh, someday, that secret sauce recipe will be mine! Mr. Slabs: Nice try, weirdo. Mr. Charleston: Where am I? Rube: Well, feeding time is over. Hang on, everybody! Patchy: Eh, my Potty needs to use your potty. Mr. Manward: Sorry. No. Patchy: Sorry, Potty, you'll have to hold it. Come on! Potty: Easy for you to say! Rube: Oh, excuse me, sir. Oh, pardon me! | Ooh, that was delicious. I love surface food! |
Patrick: You missed a spot. Charlie: Ugh! Thanks. Rube: Okay, everybody, the next point of interest is coming up in just a few short minutes, so just relax and enjoy the— | Stop the bus! Rube, what is that?! |
Rube: Oh, that's what they call a fish prison. And one thing is for sure, you don't ever want to end up in there. Pearl Slabs: Huh? Who left this aquarium out here? Hi, nice to meet you! Sandy: I feel like I've got three wheels down and my axles are dragging. Where in tarnation is SpongeBob? | No! |
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