rqchao/spongebob · Datasets at Hugging Face

Non-SpongeBob Dialogue stringlengths 1 11.1k	SpongeBob Response stringlengths 1 2.74k
Patrick: Yeah. Everyone needs at least one day away from...	I'm... glad you had fun.
Mr. Krabs: Aww, cheer up, boy. It's a whole day inspired by you.	Really?
Mr. Krabs: Of course. First, we build a giant wooden effigy of you, then we burn it to the ground. Whoo-hoo! Burn, baby! And dance on the ashes like there was no tomorrow.	Wow. A whole day dedicated to me.
Patrick: Big deal. Wait 'til you see No Patrick Day. Come on, everyone. Let's go! Where'd everybody go? Hello? Hello? TV Announcer: And now, back to Crustacean Crime Theater. Shellnapping Victim: Stop! Thief! Cop #1: Which way did he go? Shellnapping Victim: He went that way! Cop #2: Let's get 'em, boys! Thief: Curses! Foiled again! Mr. Krabs: What a no-good eel-in-the-kelp that guy was! There ain't nothing worse than a thief! Thieves need to be locked up forever! They should all be strung up by their gills and forced to breathe air!	But, Mr. Krabs, what about all the stuff you stole?
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?	Like that barrel. It says, Property of Salty Sea Farms.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, that's where I rent me pickles from.	Are you renting the barrel, too?
Mr. Krabs: Well, no.	Then you bought it?
Mr. Krabs: No.	Then, isn't that stealing?
Mr. Krabs: Well, I, uh... Patrick: What about this towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna? Mr. Krabs: Um... Well..	And this Bikini Bell phone.
Mr. Krabs: Well, uh, it's Patrick: And Sandy's hedge clippers. Mr. Krabs: Oh, they're...	...And Plankton's lawn mower.
Mr. Krabs: Well, he...	Even Mrs. Puff's hair curlers.
Mr. Krabs: That one was a gift! Listen, all that stuff is, uh... borrowed.	Borrowed? Well, that's a relief. I thought you took it without permission.
Mr. Krabs: Ah, permission shmermission! You can borrow anything you want, anytime, as long as if you give it back before it's missed. Everyone knows that! Right? SpongeBob and Patrick: Okay! Mr. Krabs: All right then! Hugs? You put in a hard day's work, boys! Patrick: But I don't work here! Mr. Krabs: See you later! Oh, that was a close one.	What do you want to do today?
Patrick: I don't know. What do you want to do today?	I don't know. What do you want to do today?
Patrick: I don't know. What do you want to do today?	I don't know. What do you want to do today?
Patrick: I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO TODAY. I need some money. Uh. Oh. Oh... I don't have any money. SpongeBob, I want a balloon really, really badly! Really, really badly!	It's okay, Patrick. There's lots of money in the First National Bank of SpongeBob. Follow me! Uh-oh. I'm broke, too. Maybe we could borrow money from Squidward?
Patrick: No, wait! Instead of borrowing the money, why don't we just borrow the balloon?!	Yeah, like Mr. Krabs!
Patrick: It's just borrowing, right?	Yeah, and borrowing is okay as long as we bring it back, right?
Patrick: Right! Patrick: This is so great!	We're going to have so much fun! First we can run with the balloon!
Patrick: Yeah, then we can go to the beach with the balloon!	Yeah! then we can take a bike ride with the balloon. Then we can go to the movies and the arcade and the ice rink and the pizza shop!
Patrick: And the moon and the sky and under a car, behind the dumpster!	And the candy shop!
Patrick: And then my backyard!	And in a plane!
Patrick: And over a rock!	And under a hill!
Patrick: And with a whale! SpongeBob and Patrick: WE LOVE BORROWING!!!	It popped...
Patrick: How are we going to return it now, SpongeBob?	I got the pieces!
Patrick: I got the air!	Hurry, put the pieces on! We popped the balloon!
Patrick: Ga-heh!	We can't return it!
Patrick: Wha-guh!	We're thieves!
Patrick: Hi-yo-hoo!	We have to confess.
Patrick: Confess? Are you outta your mind? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or a hijacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON! And they're going to lock us up forever.	You're right, we've just got to keep our heads. Act normal.
Frankie Billy: Wow, street performers! SpongeBob and Patrick: It's not working! Aaahhh!! Lou: Hi there! Lou: Hey! Don't you want a free balloon? It's National Free Balloon Day! Patrick: He's onto us!	It's not safe for Bikini Bottom anymore. We've got to move fast and cover our tracks.
Patrick: I'm on it, SpongeBob!	Take a last look Patrick. We can never go back.
Patrick: Goodbye, Bikini Bottom.	We've only got ourselves and what we can carry on our backs.
Patrick: Yup.	We're going to have to travel lighter.
Patrick: I want to go home.	We can never go home, Pat. We're wanted men. We'll spend the rest of our lives running...running, but at least it's warm around the fire.
Patrick: Hey, if we're underwater, how could there be a...? Patrick: I'm scared, SpongeBob!	No more nice, warm beds.
Patrick: Huh?	No more Krabby Patties.
Patrick: Oh!	No more getting mail! No more Gary! No more movies! No more Squidward! No more Sandy or Pearl or Mr. Krabs! No more anything!
Patrick: I want ice cream!	But it doesn't have to be all bad, right? I mean... at least we have each other.
Patrick: Yeah!	And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right?
Muscleman: Ja! Buns und t'ighs. Patrick: And the bitter cold, it's bracing, isn't it?!	Yeah! Maybe being a felon could be... ...fun! We can loosen our ties!
Patrick: YEAH! And we can fly!	Yeah!! AAAAAAHHHHH! Okay... we still can't do that! But we don't have to shave...
Patrick: I'm way ahead of you, buddy!	And you get to talk tough! This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
Patrick: Uh, let me try: Uh...hey, punk.	And the best part is: now that we're felons, we don't have to return anything we borrowed!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Patrick: And we owe it all to you.	What are you talking about? Taking the balloon was your evil plan.
Patrick: Oh, I'm nothing but a lot of talk! You're the one with the sticky fingers.	Aw, Patrick... you're the best bad influence ever!
Patrick: You, too! I wish we had something to eat, though.	Look what I've got!
Patrick: Rectangles!	Not just any rectangles. Candy bars!
Patrick: Oh!	All we have to do is make them last for the rest of our lives!
Patrick: Thanks SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now! I think I'll eat it now. Ow! Huh? Where'd my candy bar go? I must have dropped it.	You just ate it, Pat. It's all over your face.
Patrick: Where'd it go? I'm gonna starve. Where'd it go? Patrick: I can't find it! Where could it possibly be? Aha!	What?
Patrick: You stole my candy bar.	No, I didn't.
Patrick: Oh, so that's how it is, huh? Once a thief, always a thief.	You ate yours, this is mine.
Patrick: You took my only food. Now I'm gonna starve!	Here Patrick, just take half of mine.
Patrick: Yours?! You mean mine!	Do you want it or what?!
Patrick: I don't want it unless you admit you took it!	This is my candy bar!
Patrick: LIAR, LIAR, PLANTS FOR HIRE!	...it's pants on fire, Patrick.
Patrick: Well, you would know... liar.	Well, if you're going to be that way... I'll eat it myself!
Patrick: You better not. I'm warning you!	Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah...
Patrick: Don't! STOP IT! Don't! Oh! Patrick: Ahhhhhhh! Noooo! You're a crazy person. I should have expected this after the way you stole that balloon.	Did I, Patrick, did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?!
Patrick: Oh, that's it. First the balloon, now my candy bar. You're out of control. I'm... I'm telling on you!	Not if I tell on you first!
Patrick: I'll beat you there!	You're going to get in trouble!
Patrick: No! You are!! SpongeBob and Patrick: He! When! Him! And the balloon! And the boom! I... Officer Rob: What can I do for you, boys? SpongeBob and Patrick: WE STOLE A BALLOON!!! Patrick: I'm not good!	We stole a balloon!
Officer John: What's the problem here? Officer Rob: Well, it appears these two stole a balloon.	What are you going to do to us?
Officer Rob: Okay, follow me. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Okay, time's up. Now, get out!	But...But...we stole a balloon.
Officer Rob: Yeah, on Free Balloon Day! How about some lollipops for the road, boys?	Let's vow never to borrow anything without permission again.
Patrick: You said it! All right! Which one of you flat-floots stole my lollipop? I mean it. Plankton: Karen, I— Karen: Oh, sorry, Planky-Bear! I'm just a little distracted waiting for our baby to be delivered. Plankton: Oh, well, that makes sense. A baby?! I don't want a baby! Karen: It's too late to stop it now. It's been nine months and the baby is no longer on back order. Plankton: Can we ask for store credit instead? Karen: My baby's here! Plankton: Not if I have anything to say about it. Karen: Oh, Planky-Poo, look how cute our baby is! Plankton: Oh, please, that thing isn't even a graphing calculator. Weak. Karen: Oh, come on. How can you look at our baby's itty wittle keyboard and say he's not the cutest? I have the perfect name for him. Well, don't you wanna know the name? Plankton: Not really. Karen: It's Chip. He's named after my grandfather. Plankton: Great, here we go with the crying! Will you please hush that thing up?! Karen: There you go. All better. Plankton: Wow, how did you do that so fast? Karen: Simple, I just typed 4-4-4-5 in his cute little keyboard. Plankton: I don't get it. Karen: Shhh. Plankton: At least it can't get more annoying.	Hello! A little drone told me you two are new parents. So, I just had to bring over a little present for the baby. Hello, baby.
Karen: Oh, I think little Chip likes you. Plankton: Obviously not the brightest diode in the box.	Look, Chip, your uncle SpongeBob got you a little something. It's a can of compressed air to keep your keys nice and clean, like this!
Plankton: Phew. Karen: Come on, walk to Mommy. Karen: That's it. You can do it. Karen: You're walking, baby! Plankton: You call that walking? This is walking. This is how you do it. This is how it's done. Karen: Ah! Mama's big boy is upgrading! Karen: Aw. Plankton: Whoa, ah! This stinks! Karen: Let's see if we can find some friends for Mama's special little boy. You need to interface with someone fun. Try that video game over there. It doesn't look too dangerous. Karen: Careful, Chip. Karen: Uh, those monsters are too big. Come out of that game right now! Karen: Chip, get out of there! Karen: So you think you can do whatever you want because you're a teenager now? You just wait until I tell your father. Karen: What did you just say to me?! Karen: I told Chip that game was too dangerous, and do you know what he said to me? Plankton: And? Karen: Just talk to your son! I need to cool my circuits. Plankton: Ooh, uh, hey, buddy. Heh, what you doing? Chip: Eh… Plankton: Yeah, I hear you. So, uh, what happened at the arcade? Plankton: What? You mother stopped your game, even though you were crushing it? Your mother clearly doesn't get you, man. But I have the perfect solution to your problem. Run away. Chip: Huh? Plankton: Yes, I said run away. Take off, see the world. You do you. Plankton: Eh, now get out of here, you little scamp. Karen: So, how was your talk with Chip? Plankton: Oh, it went great. He's a good boy. Karen: Yeah, he wh— Where—where is he? Plankton: Oh, he ran away. Karen: What?! Why would my baby run away? Plankton: Because I told him to. Duh. Plankton: Karen, baby, let's be reasonable here! Karen: You find our son and bring him home this instant or don't bother coming home! Plankton: I'm going! I'm going! Plankton: Chip! Chip! Where are you, boy? Come to Daddy! Ugh, what am I saying? Chip! Chip! Weird machine: Psst, hey, kid, you lost? Chip: Meh. Weird machine: Running away from home, huh? Cool! Why don't you come hang with me and my buddies? Oh, don't be scared. In here. Check it out, guys. I found us a new friend. Weird machine: I know, right? It is cool here. There's just one thing. If you wanna be part of us, we're gonna need your parts. Machine #1: Uh-oh. Weird machine: Oh, come on, kid, don't be like that. We've all done it. Weird machine: Get him! Plankton: Chip! Your mother's gonna kill me if I can't find you. Huh? That's him! He's in trouble! Don't worry, son! Daddy is coming! Get away from my son! Get away from me! Chip: Father! Leave my father alone! Plankton: Your first word was father. Wait until I rub this in Karen's face. Weird machine: No! The delicious horror! Ah! Plankton: Oh, you should've seen it, Karen. Chip was all like, Stay away from my daddy, who is the most brilliant, handsome genius in the world. Karen: Oh, brother. Plankton: Aw, we have got the best kid ever! Karen: Oh! Aw. Plankton: Come on, son, let your old man buy you a quart of oil. Whoo-hoo! Yes! Chip: Sorry, Dad, I'd love to, but I'm leaving for college. Plankton: I went to college. French narrator: Eight semesters later... Plankton: Ouch! Watch it, Karen! We don't want Chip to know we're spying on his first day of work. Chip: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Mr. Krabs: Hey, what? Mr. Krabs: Hey! Hey! Give me my money! Plankton: That's my boy! Narrator: Snark Chat with Bubble Bass. Bubble Bass: And we're back. My first guest had dinner with me just last night. He's a close personal friend of mine. Please welcome the Krabby Patty. Great to have you back on the program. Krabby Patty: Great to be here, BB. Bubble Bass: Well, I'm sorry to say it, but last night, you were not quite as delicious as one would hope. Krabby Patty: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Krabs will give you a refund. Mama Bass: Bubble Bass, who are you talking to down there? Bubble Bass: Mother! Please stop trying to undermine my fantasy talk show! Mmph. Mama Bass: You march yourself upstairs this instant! Take out the garbage, dry the dishes, and walk the worm! Bubble Bass: Ooh, I don't feel like it! Huh? That tears it, Mother! I am moving out! Mama Bass: Moving? Hah! You can't even do your own laundry! Bubble Bass: All I need to do is find two able-bodied idiots. But where am I to find such stupidity on such short notice? Hm...	Whoops. Sorry, Bubble Bass.
Bubble Bass: Why you two able-bodied idiots! I— Ooh. Why, SpongeBob and Patrick, my occasional friends. How would you two like to earn a free lunch? Patrick: Freeeeeee lunch! ' Bubble Bass: All righty, we're moving all of my belongings out of my mother's basement into my grandmother's basement across town. Let's start with my lounge.	Okay, Patrick, up with the loveseat.
Bubble Bass: Ow! My bad back! I guess you two will have to move everything without me. So I'll meet you both at this address.	But don't you have to pack your things before we can move 'em?
Bubble Bass: Ooh, ahh, I guess you'll have to pack my stuff too. But remember with gastric prizes await your mouths.	Oh, Patrick
Bubble Bass:	Okay, Patrick, let's get p-p-p-packing!
Patrick:	Oh...
Patrick: All right, that's the last of it.	Whew, I hope we didn't leave anything behind.
Old Man Jenkins: Both:	Oh pardon us, ma'am, but could you walk around?
Ms. Mildred: Walk around? Hmph, I'm Lady Upturn the 333rd, and you want me to walk around? I'm afraid you just have to back it up.	Back it up? Okay. Back it up, Patrick.
Patrick: What'd you say?	Oh, oh, oh!
Ms. Mildred: Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): Ms. Mildred: Oh! Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): Huh?	Phew, hey, Patrick, from now on, we gotta be more careful. Huh? Patrick...
Patrick:	Oh, focus, Patrick, focus!
Patrick: Okay.	Ah, that's perfect.
Both: Babies: Bag: Random People: Patrick: SpongeBob? Where are you?	I'm down here.
Patrick: Shall we, SpongeBob?	We shall, Patrick
Both: Babies: Both: Babies? No! Babies: Both: Whoa!	Hmm...Hm? Hey, this is the address! We made it, Patrick! Nice aim, babies!
Patrick: Hooray! Now, where's that free lunch?	Focus! Let's get all this stuff inside the house, then we can eat. Hmm, hmm.
Patrick: Hmm, hmm. Both:	Oh, Bubble Bass, special delivery. Hmm? Okay, Patrick, push it!
Both: Patrick: And that's how you do it.	Uh-oh, Patrick. Look what we did to Bubble Bass's granny's house.
Fruit man: This wasn't Bubble Bass's grandmother's house. That is! This was my house!	Well, that's a relief. For a minute there, I thought we did something wrong.
Both: Whew. Fruit man: Both:	Don't look down, Patrick!
Patrick: I turned off my eyes.	Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh! Uh-oh, Patrick, I think I have the— Hiccups.
Patrick: Hiccups? I want some. I'm so hungry!	Here comes another one, Patrick.
Patrick:	Thanks, buddy. We're almost there. Just a few more steps, and we'll claim that free lunch.
Patrick: Yeah— Both:	Well, this is a dilly of a pickle.
Babies: Ms. Mildred: Back it up! Both: Ms. Mildred: Back it up! Babies: Ms. Mildred: Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): Oof, ta-da, Oof. Bubble Bass: I hope you didn't damage my goods.	Oh, your goods are all good, Bubble Bass. And we sure build up an appetite for that free lunch.
Patrick: If my friend SpongeBob doesn't get his free lunch, things are gonna get crazy!	That was the meanest thing I ever saw, Bubble Bass. You, sir, have crossed the line of aquatic decency. You might think you took a couple of bottom feeders like us for a ride today, but I got a newsflash for you, slappy. These bottom-feeders wouldn't eat your free lunch if you paid us.
Patrick: I would.	Come, Patrick. I'll make you a free Krabby Patty for $2.50 plus tax.
Bubble Bass: Well, you pulled it off, Bubble Bass. And you didn't even have to flick a fin. Mama Bass: Bubble Bass, why do you think it's funny to pack your mother in a box and drag her all over town?! Bubble Bass: Mother?! Mama Bass: We'll just see how you like it! Bubble Bass: I didn't do it! Ow! Mother, please— It was SpongeBob and Patrick! I'll dry the dishes, Mommy. I love you, Mommy. Mr. Krabs: Stop, thief! Come back here with me formula! Mr. Krabs: He's over there! Stop him! Plankton: I can't help it. I'm a kleptomaniac! Plankton: Ow! Police Officer: You're under arrest! Plankton: But I'm innocent! Police Officer: No one is innocent! Plankton: Whoa. Things got dark fast. Mr. Krabs: ♪You're going to jail! You're going to jail!♪ Join in the dancing, boy, or you're fired. ♪You're going to jail! You're going to jail! You're going to jail! You're going to jail!♪ Police Officer: Step back, buddy! Let the law handle this. Mr. Krabs: Yes, officer. Police Officer: And I'll be taking this! Mr. Krabs: Wait! That's me secret formula! Police Officer: Well, now it's evidence. Oh. Plankton: Ow!	The formula! I can't cook without that formula! I can't don't anything without it! The Krabby Patties are gonna taste like ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chum!
Mr. Krabs: Wait! Don't go! We still have fresh buns. And we have air conditioning. Ohh... Come here! You and me are getting into that police department to get that formula back!	How?
Mr. Krabs: By dressing like the po-po.	The po-po? Oh, no, no.
Mr. Krabs: No, no po-po—no job-o for you-o. Comprendo?	So-so. But I'll go-go.

Patrick: Yeah. Everyone needs at least one day away from...

I'm... glad you had fun.

Mr. Krabs: Aww, cheer up, boy. It's a whole day inspired by you.

Really?

Mr. Krabs: Of course. First, we build a giant wooden effigy of you, then we burn it to the ground. Whoo-hoo! Burn, baby! And dance on the ashes like there was no tomorrow.

Wow. A whole day dedicated to me.

Patrick: Big deal. Wait 'til you see No Patrick Day. Come on, everyone. Let's go! Where'd everybody go? Hello? Hello? TV Announcer: And now, back to Crustacean Crime Theater. Shellnapping Victim: Stop! Thief! Cop #1: Which way did he go? Shellnapping Victim: He went that way! Cop #2: Let's get 'em, boys! Thief: Curses! Foiled again! Mr. Krabs: What a no-good eel-in-the-kelp that guy was! There ain't nothing worse than a thief! Thieves need to be locked up forever! They should all be strung up by their gills and forced to breathe air!

But, Mr. Krabs, what about all the stuff you stole?

Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?

Like that barrel. It says, Property of Salty Sea Farms.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, that's where I rent me pickles from.

Are you renting the barrel, too?

Mr. Krabs: Well, no.

Then you bought it?

Mr. Krabs: No.

Then, isn't that stealing?

Mr. Krabs: Well, I, uh... Patrick: What about this towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna? Mr. Krabs: Um... Well..

And this Bikini Bell phone.

Mr. Krabs: Well, uh, it's Patrick: And Sandy's hedge clippers. Mr. Krabs: Oh, they're...

...And Plankton's lawn mower.

Mr. Krabs: Well, he...

Even Mrs. Puff's hair curlers.

Mr. Krabs: That one was a gift! Listen, all that stuff is, uh... borrowed.

Borrowed? Well, that's a relief. I thought you took it without permission.

Mr. Krabs: Ah, permission shmermission! You can borrow anything you want, anytime, as long as if you give it back before it's missed. Everyone knows that! Right? SpongeBob and Patrick: Okay! Mr. Krabs: All right then! Hugs? You put in a hard day's work, boys! Patrick: But I don't work here! Mr. Krabs: See you later! Oh, that was a close one.

What do you want to do today?

Patrick: I don't know. What do you want to do today?

I don't know. What do you want to do today?

Patrick: I don't know. What do you want to do today?

I don't know. What do you want to do today?

Patrick: I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO TODAY. I need some money. Uh. Oh. Oh... I don't have any money. SpongeBob, I want a balloon really, really badly! Really, really badly!

It's okay, Patrick. There's lots of money in the First National Bank of SpongeBob. Follow me! Uh-oh. I'm broke, too. Maybe we could borrow money from Squidward?

Patrick: No, wait! Instead of borrowing the money, why don't we just borrow the balloon?!

Yeah, like Mr. Krabs!

Patrick: It's just borrowing, right?

Yeah, and borrowing is okay as long as we bring it back, right?

Patrick: Right! Patrick: This is so great!

We're going to have so much fun! First we can run with the balloon!

Patrick: Yeah, then we can go to the beach with the balloon!

Yeah! then we can take a bike ride with the balloon. Then we can go to the movies and the arcade and the ice rink and the pizza shop!

Patrick: And the moon and the sky and under a car, behind the dumpster!

And the candy shop!

Patrick: And then my backyard!

And in a plane!

Patrick: And over a rock!

And under a hill!

Patrick: And with a whale! SpongeBob and Patrick: WE LOVE BORROWING!!!

It popped...

Patrick: How are we going to return it now, SpongeBob?

I got the pieces!

Patrick: I got the air!

Hurry, put the pieces on! We popped the balloon!

Patrick: Ga-heh!

We can't return it!

Patrick: Wha-guh!

We're thieves!

Patrick: Hi-yo-hoo!

We have to confess.

Patrick: Confess? Are you outta your mind? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or a hijacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON! And they're going to lock us up forever.

You're right, we've just got to keep our heads. Act normal.

Frankie Billy: Wow, street performers! SpongeBob and Patrick: It's not working! Aaahhh!! Lou: Hi there! Lou: Hey! Don't you want a free balloon? It's National Free Balloon Day! Patrick: He's onto us!

It's not safe for Bikini Bottom anymore. We've got to move fast and cover our tracks.

Patrick: I'm on it, SpongeBob!

Take a last look Patrick. We can never go back.

Patrick: Goodbye, Bikini Bottom.

We've only got ourselves and what we can carry on our backs.

Patrick: Yup.

We're going to have to travel lighter.

Patrick: I want to go home.

We can never go home, Pat. We're wanted men. We'll spend the rest of our lives running...running, but at least it's warm around the fire.

Patrick: Hey, if we're underwater, how could there be a...? Patrick: I'm scared, SpongeBob!

No more nice, warm beds.

Patrick: Huh?

No more Krabby Patties.

Patrick: Oh!

No more getting mail! No more Gary! No more movies! No more Squidward! No more Sandy or Pearl or Mr. Krabs! No more anything!

Patrick: I want ice cream!

But it doesn't have to be all bad, right? I mean... at least we have each other.

Patrick: Yeah!

And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right?

Muscleman: Ja! Buns und t'ighs. Patrick: And the bitter cold, it's bracing, isn't it?!

Yeah! Maybe being a felon could be... ...fun! We can loosen our ties!

Patrick: YEAH! And we can fly!

Yeah!! AAAAAAHHHHH! Okay... we still can't do that! But we don't have to shave...

Patrick: I'm way ahead of you, buddy!

And you get to talk tough! This town ain't big enough for the two of us.

Patrick: Uh, let me try: Uh...hey, punk.

And the best part is: now that we're felons, we don't have to return anything we borrowed!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Patrick: And we owe it all to you.

What are you talking about? Taking the balloon was your evil plan.

Patrick: Oh, I'm nothing but a lot of talk! You're the one with the sticky fingers.

Aw, Patrick... you're the best bad influence ever!

Patrick: You, too! I wish we had something to eat, though.

Look what I've got!

Patrick: Rectangles!

Not just any rectangles. Candy bars!

Patrick: Oh!

All we have to do is make them last for the rest of our lives!

Patrick: Thanks SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now! I think I'll eat it now. Ow! Huh? Where'd my candy bar go? I must have dropped it.

You just ate it, Pat. It's all over your face.

Patrick: Where'd it go? I'm gonna starve. Where'd it go? Patrick: I can't find it! Where could it possibly be? Aha!

What?

Patrick: You stole my candy bar.

No, I didn't.

Patrick: Oh, so that's how it is, huh? Once a thief, always a thief.

You ate yours, this is mine.

Patrick: You took my only food. Now I'm gonna starve!

Here Patrick, just take half of mine.

Patrick: Yours?! You mean mine!

Do you want it or what?!

Patrick: I don't want it unless you admit you took it!

This is my candy bar!

Patrick: LIAR, LIAR, PLANTS FOR HIRE!

...it's pants on fire, Patrick.

Patrick: Well, you would know... liar.

Well, if you're going to be that way... I'll eat it myself!

Patrick: You better not. I'm warning you!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

Patrick: Don't! STOP IT! Don't! Oh! Patrick: Ahhhhhhh! Noooo! You're a crazy person. I should have expected this after the way you stole that balloon.

Did I, Patrick, did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?!

Patrick: Oh, that's it. First the balloon, now my candy bar. You're out of control. I'm... I'm telling on you!

Not if I tell on you first!

Patrick: I'll beat you there!

You're going to get in trouble!

Patrick: No! You are!! SpongeBob and Patrick: He! When! Him! And the balloon! And the boom! I... Officer Rob: What can I do for you, boys? SpongeBob and Patrick: WE STOLE A BALLOON!!! Patrick: I'm not good!

We stole a balloon!

Officer John: What's the problem here? Officer Rob: Well, it appears these two stole a balloon.

What are you going to do to us?

Officer Rob: Okay, follow me. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Okay, time's up. Now, get out!

But...But...we stole a balloon.

Officer Rob: Yeah, on Free Balloon Day! How about some lollipops for the road, boys?

Let's vow never to borrow anything without permission again.

Patrick: You said it! All right! Which one of you flat-floots stole my lollipop? I mean it. Plankton: Karen, I— Karen: Oh, sorry, Planky-Bear! I'm just a little distracted waiting for our baby to be delivered. Plankton: Oh, well, that makes sense. A baby?! I don't want a baby! Karen: It's too late to stop it now. It's been nine months and the baby is no longer on back order. Plankton: Can we ask for store credit instead? Karen: My baby's here! Plankton: Not if I have anything to say about it. Karen: Oh, Planky-Poo, look how cute our baby is! Plankton: Oh, please, that thing isn't even a graphing calculator. Weak. Karen: Oh, come on. How can you look at our baby's itty wittle keyboard and say he's not the cutest? I have the perfect name for him. Well, don't you wanna know the name? Plankton: Not really. Karen: It's Chip. He's named after my grandfather. Plankton: Great, here we go with the crying! Will you please hush that thing up?! Karen: There you go. All better. Plankton: Wow, how did you do that so fast? Karen: Simple, I just typed 4-4-4-5 in his cute little keyboard. Plankton: I don't get it. Karen: Shhh. Plankton: At least it can't get more annoying.

Hello! A little drone told me you two are new parents. So, I just had to bring over a little present for the baby. Hello, baby.

Karen: Oh, I think little Chip likes you. Plankton: Obviously not the brightest diode in the box.

Look, Chip, your uncle SpongeBob got you a little something. It's a can of compressed air to keep your keys nice and clean, like this!

Plankton: Phew. Karen: Come on, walk to Mommy. Karen: That's it. You can do it. Karen: You're walking, baby! Plankton: You call that walking? This is walking. This is how you do it. This is how it's done. Karen: Ah! Mama's big boy is upgrading! Karen: Aw. Plankton: Whoa, ah! This stinks! Karen: Let's see if we can find some friends for Mama's special little boy. You need to interface with someone fun. Try that video game over there. It doesn't look too dangerous. Karen: Careful, Chip. Karen: Uh, those monsters are too big. Come out of that game right now! Karen: Chip, get out of there! Karen: So you think you can do whatever you want because you're a teenager now? You just wait until I tell your father. Karen: What did you just say to me?! Karen: I told Chip that game was too dangerous, and do you know what he said to me? Plankton: And? Karen: Just talk to your son! I need to cool my circuits. Plankton: Ooh, uh, hey, buddy. Heh, what you doing? Chip: Eh… Plankton: Yeah, I hear you. So, uh, what happened at the arcade? Plankton: What? You mother stopped your game, even though you were crushing it? Your mother clearly doesn't get you, man. But I have the perfect solution to your problem. Run away. Chip: Huh? Plankton: Yes, I said run away. Take off, see the world. You do you. Plankton: Eh, now get out of here, you little scamp. Karen: So, how was your talk with Chip? Plankton: Oh, it went great. He's a good boy. Karen: Yeah, he wh— Where—where is he? Plankton: Oh, he ran away. Karen: What?! Why would my baby run away? Plankton: Because I told him to. Duh. Plankton: Karen, baby, let's be reasonable here! Karen: You find our son and bring him home this instant or don't bother coming home! Plankton: I'm going! I'm going! Plankton: Chip! Chip! Where are you, boy? Come to Daddy! Ugh, what am I saying? Chip! Chip! Weird machine: Psst, hey, kid, you lost? Chip: Meh. Weird machine: Running away from home, huh? Cool! Why don't you come hang with me and my buddies? Oh, don't be scared. In here. Check it out, guys. I found us a new friend. Weird machine: I know, right? It is cool here. There's just one thing. If you wanna be part of us, we're gonna need your parts. Machine #1: Uh-oh. Weird machine: Oh, come on, kid, don't be like that. We've all done it. Weird machine: Get him! Plankton: Chip! Your mother's gonna kill me if I can't find you. Huh? That's him! He's in trouble! Don't worry, son! Daddy is coming! Get away from my son! Get away from me! Chip: Father! Leave my father alone! Plankton: Your first word was father. Wait until I rub this in Karen's face. Weird machine: No! The delicious horror! Ah! Plankton: Oh, you should've seen it, Karen. Chip was all like, Stay away from my daddy, who is the most brilliant, handsome genius in the world. Karen: Oh, brother. Plankton: Aw, we have got the best kid ever! Karen: Oh! Aw. Plankton: Come on, son, let your old man buy you a quart of oil. Whoo-hoo! Yes! Chip: Sorry, Dad, I'd love to, but I'm leaving for college. Plankton: I went to college. French narrator: Eight semesters later... Plankton: Ouch! Watch it, Karen! We don't want Chip to know we're spying on his first day of work. Chip: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Mr. Krabs: Hey, what? Mr. Krabs: Hey! Hey! Give me my money! Plankton: That's my boy! Narrator: Snark Chat with Bubble Bass. Bubble Bass: And we're back. My first guest had dinner with me just last night. He's a close personal friend of mine. Please welcome the Krabby Patty. Great to have you back on the program. Krabby Patty: Great to be here, BB. Bubble Bass: Well, I'm sorry to say it, but last night, you were not quite as delicious as one would hope. Krabby Patty: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Krabs will give you a refund. Mama Bass: Bubble Bass, who are you talking to down there? Bubble Bass: Mother! Please stop trying to undermine my fantasy talk show! Mmph. Mama Bass: You march yourself upstairs this instant! Take out the garbage, dry the dishes, and walk the worm! Bubble Bass: Ooh, I don't feel like it! Huh? That tears it, Mother! I am moving out! Mama Bass: Moving? Hah! You can't even do your own laundry! Bubble Bass: All I need to do is find two able-bodied idiots. But where am I to find such stupidity on such short notice? Hm...

Whoops. Sorry, Bubble Bass.

Bubble Bass: Why you two able-bodied idiots! I— Ooh. Why, SpongeBob and Patrick, my occasional friends. How would you two like to earn a free lunch? Patrick: Freeeeeee lunch! ' Bubble Bass: All righty, we're moving all of my belongings out of my mother's basement into my grandmother's basement across town. Let's start with my lounge.

Okay, Patrick, up with the loveseat.

Bubble Bass: Ow! My bad back! I guess you two will have to move everything without me. So I'll meet you both at this address.

But don't you have to pack your things before we can move 'em?

Bubble Bass: Ooh, ahh, I guess you'll have to pack my stuff too. But remember with gastric prizes await your mouths.

Oh, Patrick

Bubble Bass:

Okay, Patrick, let's get p-p-p-packing!

Patrick:

Oh...

Patrick: All right, that's the last of it.

Whew, I hope we didn't leave anything behind.

Old Man Jenkins: Both:

Oh pardon us, ma'am, but could you walk around?

Ms. Mildred: Walk around? Hmph, I'm Lady Upturn the 333rd, and you want me to walk around? I'm afraid you just have to back it up.

Back it up? Okay. Back it up, Patrick.

Patrick: What'd you say?

Oh, oh, oh!

Ms. Mildred: Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): Ms. Mildred: Oh! Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): Huh?

Phew, hey, Patrick, from now on, we gotta be more careful. Huh? Patrick...

Patrick:

Oh, focus, Patrick, focus!

Patrick: Okay.

Ah, that's perfect.

Both: Babies: Bag: Random People: Patrick: SpongeBob? Where are you?

I'm down here.

Patrick: Shall we, SpongeBob?

We shall, Patrick

Both: Babies: Both: Babies? No! Babies: Both: Whoa!

Hmm...Hm? Hey, this is the address! We made it, Patrick! Nice aim, babies!

Patrick: Hooray! Now, where's that free lunch?

Focus! Let's get all this stuff inside the house, then we can eat. Hmm, hmm.

Patrick: Hmm, hmm. Both:

Oh, Bubble Bass, special delivery. Hmm? Okay, Patrick, push it!

Both: Patrick: And that's how you do it.

Uh-oh, Patrick. Look what we did to Bubble Bass's granny's house.

Fruit man: This wasn't Bubble Bass's grandmother's house. That is! This was my house!

Well, that's a relief. For a minute there, I thought we did something wrong.

Both: Whew. Fruit man: Both:

Don't look down, Patrick!

Patrick: I turned off my eyes.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh! Uh-oh, Patrick, I think I have the— Hiccups.

Patrick: Hiccups? I want some. I'm so hungry!

Here comes another one, Patrick.

Patrick:

Thanks, buddy. We're almost there. Just a few more steps, and we'll claim that free lunch.

Patrick: Yeah— Both:

Well, this is a dilly of a pickle.

Babies: Ms. Mildred: Back it up! Both: Ms. Mildred: Back it up! Babies: Ms. Mildred: Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): Oof, ta-da, Oof. Bubble Bass: I hope you didn't damage my goods.

Oh, your goods are all good, Bubble Bass. And we sure build up an appetite for that free lunch.

Patrick: If my friend SpongeBob doesn't get his free lunch, things are gonna get crazy!

That was the meanest thing I ever saw, Bubble Bass. You, sir, have crossed the line of aquatic decency. You might think you took a couple of bottom feeders like us for a ride today, but I got a newsflash for you, slappy. These bottom-feeders wouldn't eat your free lunch if you paid us.

Patrick: I would.

Come, Patrick. I'll make you a free Krabby Patty for $2.50 plus tax.

Bubble Bass: Well, you pulled it off, Bubble Bass. And you didn't even have to flick a fin. Mama Bass: Bubble Bass, why do you think it's funny to pack your mother in a box and drag her all over town?! Bubble Bass: Mother?! Mama Bass: We'll just see how you like it! Bubble Bass: I didn't do it! Ow! Mother, please— It was SpongeBob and Patrick! I'll dry the dishes, Mommy. I love you, Mommy. Mr. Krabs: Stop, thief! Come back here with me formula! Mr. Krabs: He's over there! Stop him! Plankton: I can't help it. I'm a kleptomaniac! Plankton: Ow! Police Officer: You're under arrest! Plankton: But I'm innocent! Police Officer: No one is innocent! Plankton: Whoa. Things got dark fast. Mr. Krabs: ♪You're going to jail! You're going to jail!♪ Join in the dancing, boy, or you're fired. ♪You're going to jail! You're going to jail! You're going to jail! You're going to jail!♪ Police Officer: Step back, buddy! Let the law handle this. Mr. Krabs: Yes, officer. Police Officer: And I'll be taking this! Mr. Krabs: Wait! That's me secret formula! Police Officer: Well, now it's evidence. Oh. Plankton: Ow!

The formula! I can't cook without that formula! I can't don't anything without it! The Krabby Patties are gonna taste like ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chum!

Mr. Krabs: Wait! Don't go! We still have fresh buns. And we have air conditioning. Ohh... Come here! You and me are getting into that police department to get that formula back!

How?

Mr. Krabs: By dressing like the po-po.

The po-po? Oh, no, no.

Mr. Krabs: No, no po-po—no job-o for you-o. Comprendo?

So-so. But I'll go-go.