Non-SpongeBob Dialogue
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Mr. Krabs: Let's not go too far. Sandy: You mean you sent my best friend on a dangerous wild goose chase just so you could go shopping?! Excuse us, SpongeBob. This is for my tail! Mr. Krabs: Wait, Sandy, I was— Sandy: Hi-yah! This is for almost getting us killed! Mr. Krabs: Wait, Sandy! Sandy: Hi-yah! And this is for my submarine, Matilda! Sandy: Hi-yah! Hi-yah! Mr. Krabs: Well, I guess I had that coming. Plankton: Can you believe it, Karen? After all these years, the secret ingredients are finally here! And the final ingredient: ghost dandruff! Karen: I wouldn't add that last one. Plankton: Ha, ha! I can't wait to see the look on Krabs' face! Plankton: Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Plankton. Mr. Krabs: Hmm, I love you. And I love you. And I love you. Heh—heh—heh. And I love you too. Oooh. I tell ya, Mr. Squidward, today's been our best day of business in years. Yep, profits are so good, there's nothing that could possibly ruin this perfect—what?! No! Squidward: Augh! Ow! | Mr. Krabs, are you okay? What's a matter? Is there too much money? I'll get rid of the money. |
Mr. Krabs: What are you— Quit masticatin' me moolah! I ain't upset about the money, boy. I'm upset about him. | Old Man Jenkins? But I love Old Man Jenkins! He always has old and interesting smells, and his bones make such funny noises, and his eyes are the milkiest shade of white , and— |
Mr. Krabs: Every day, it's the same routine... Old Man Jenkins: I'll have... a small coffee. Squidward: Hmm, that'll be 25 cents. Old Man Jenkins: I don't think so, Charlie. I get the senior discount. Mr. Krabs: Then he hogs that table all day... And annoys all me other customers. Old Man Jenkins: Ahh! Mr. Krabs: And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free. And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response... Frankie Billy: Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup? Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! Frankie Billy: Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! Mr. Krabs: Ooh, it just makes me so steaming mad! | Ooh. Ahh. |
Mr. Krabs: Well, I won't stand for it no more! It's time to kick out the coot! Old Man Jenkins: Eh? What's going on now? Medley: Hey! If that's how you treat the elderly, then I'm never eating another Krabby Patty in here again! Bikini Bottomites: Me neither. Give the poor old guy a break. Mr. Krabs: Oh. Uh, it's okay. I—I was just...shaking the dust off him. See? Ahh! Uh, wait. Let's see here. Heh, there. Heh—heh—heh. Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! Old Man Jenkins: ♪Oohhhhh! Elders are you betters 'cause we're older. So all you whippersnappers get in line! Y'all best be respectful of your elders or we'll whip you with a soup spoon every time! ♪ Mr. Krabs: Ahh! | Well, gee, Mr. Krabs. If you want Old Man Jenkins to leave, why not just try asking him nicely? |
Mr. Krabs: I think you oughta be the one to ask him nicely. Oh, hi. I'm SpongeBob, and I love you, but will you go home, please? Hee—hee—hee—hee. I'm Old Man Jenkins, and I'm a jerk who likes to cost Mr. Krabs money. What the? What is going on, boy-o? Why ain't Jenkins vacatin' me restaurant? | Oh, Mr. Krabs. I couldn't ask Old Man Jenkins to leave after hearing his story. His feet hurt, and his grandson never calls, and he has to take a pill that helps him to remember to take his other pills. Why, he takes so many pills, he's more pill than man. |
Mr. Krabs: Okay, time to step it up...to passive aggression. This'll make him uncomfortable. Bikini Bottomites: Ooh. Whew. Ooh. Old Man Jenkins: Ehh...ehh…. It's too cold in here for my old blood! Show a little respect for your elders and turn up the heat! Old Man Jenkins: Thank you! Mr. Krabs: So you can take the heat, but can you take...the beat? Mr. Krabs: I don't understand. How did you endure that cacophony? Old Man Jenkins: Eh? You say something? I'm a little deaf in my ears! Mr. Krabs: Really? Then what's with the radio? Old Man Jenkins: I like to cook on the vacuum tubes. Now show some respect for your elders! Mr. Krabs: Jenkins, I'm putting me foot down! You're ruining me business, and you're costing me money! Whoo, whoa. Now, get out! Old Man Jenkins: It ain't legal to throw out the elderly in this town. So respect your elders! Mr. Krabs: Respect...my...elders, hmm? Mr. Krabs: Oh, Old Man Jenkins, I've got someone I'd like you to meet. Old Man Jenkins: Hm? What's this about now? Mr. Krabs: This here is me father. And he is older than you. So you best respect what he has to say. Victor Krabs: Ahoy there, Jenkins. Time for you to be hoistin' your sails and movin' on, son! Old Man Jenkins: Oh, I don't thinks so. This is my father, Very Old Man Jenkins Sr. He's even older than your old man, Krabs. Very Old Man Jenkins Sr.: And I say we stay. Both you young 'uns should respect your elders. Mr. Krabs: And I say both you Jenkinses should respect your elder... me grandpappy. Old Man Jenkins: Two can play at that game. Meet Grandpa Jenkins. Ha-ha! Grandpa Redbeard: I remember the day when Krabby Patties used to cost a dime. Grandpa Jenkins: Oh, yeah? Well, I remember when they cost a nickel. Hm? Mr. Krabs: Okay, let's not give anyone ideas about cheap patties. Now, out with the old, and in with the even older. Right, Great-Grandpappy Krabs? Ha-ha! Old Man Jenkins: Wake up, Great-Grandpop! Defend the family's honor! Great Grandpa Krabs: Ooh, respect...someone. Great Grandpa Jenkins: Am I an elder? Mr. Krabs: Oh, Great-Great-Grandpa Krabs, return to us! I beseech thee! Ha! You're older than they are! Kick 'em out! Old Man Jenkins: I want to speak with my Great-Great Grandpa Jenkins! Get 'em, Ancient-Great-Grand-Pop! Old Man Jenkins: Youthum Ignorami, Elderus Respecticus! Mr. Krabs: Here we go. Ha-ha! Old Man Jenkins: You best respect your elders! Mr. Krabs: My elders will teach your elders a little respect! Get 'em, Krabses! Old Man Jenkins: Jenkinses, attack! Mr. Krabs and Old Man Jenkins: Ha-ha! Ulysses S. Krabs: Hey. Hey! Uh, you guys are kind of bumming us out. Elizabeth Era Jenkins: Yes, we don't get to visit the land of the living very often. Caveman Era Jenkins: And we just want to party! Ancient Egypt Krabs: You two party-poopers need to respect your elders and vacate the premises! Mr. Krabs: Looks like it's gonna be a while. Old Man Jenkins: What do we do now? Plankton: Come on, guys. You've been sitting here all day! Doesn't anyone want to order some chum? Mr. Krabs: I'll just have a small coffee, please. Old Man Jenkins: I got this one, Krabby... with my senior discount. Here you go, Jimbo. Plankton: Ow! That's it! Both of you out! Mr. Krabs and Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! Mr. Krabs: Da da dee. Stitch one purl two. da da dee doo. Da day dee da. Dee doh.. What's that smell? The register! $49.0... 8?! That's a penny short! Squidward: Oh, no. Not a penny. Help! Somebody, help us. | It's just a penny, sir. It doesn't matter. |
Mr. Krabs: Doesn't matter? It's money that makes the world go round, boy! It's money that keeps your pants square! It's money that keeps Squidward in frilly soap! Squidward: Lilac! Mr. Krabs: It's money that paid for all them renovations we did! Oh, nothing in all the seven seas could matter more. Not even that... Hmm? ...scrumptious, curvy cutie. | I see her, Mr. Krabs. A Krabby Patty with cheese. The classic. |
Mr. Krabs: Not the sandwich, boy. The curvy cutie holding the sandwich. | Hey! that's my driving teacher, Mrs. Puff! |
Mr. Krabs: Mrs. Puff? Aw, she's married. | Oh, no, Mr. Krabs. She's single. |
Mr. Krabs: Then what happened to Mr. Puff? | She doesn't like to talk about it. |
Mr. Krabs: Oh, what I wouldn't give to have a lass like that on me claw. | Hey, I know! Why don't I take you over and introduce you? |
Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, no, no, I, I'm, I'm too old, boy. Too hard-shelled for love. Besides, I ain't not properly dressed. | Oh, come on, Mr. Krabs! You look great. You wait here while I go break the ice. |
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, no, wait! I'm too nervous! Ooh! | Hi, Mrs. Puff. |
Mrs. Puff: Hit the brakes, SpongeBob! Watch that tree! Left! Left! | Wait, Mrs. Puff! We're not driving. |
Mrs. Puff: Oh, I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I didn't expect to see you here. | I work here, Mrs. Puff. Want to meet my boss? |
Mrs. Puff: Well, I'm not... | Don't move! |
Mrs. Puff: Oh! | Mrs. Puff, I'd like to introduce you to Mr... Mrs. Puff, I'd like to introduce you to my boss, Mr. Krabs. |
Mrs. Puff: Uh, hello. | Psst! Mr. Krabs, say hello. No, no, Mr. Krabs. Just say hello. |
Mrs. Puff: Hmm, perhaps another time would be... Mr. Krabs: No! | Wait. He's trying to tell you something. |
Mrs. Puff: Mr. Krabs? I don't understand. | Oh! I think Mr. Krabs is saying that he'd like to... ...hit you with a rake! |
Mrs. Puff: Goodness! Mr. Krabs: No! | Try to guess your weight. |
Mrs. Puff: Well! | No, wait. He wants to take you... ...on a date! |
Mrs. Puff: Is that true, Mr. Krabs? Do you want to take me on a date? Mr. Krabs: Aye. What do you say? Mrs. Puff: What do I say? I say, you have a way with words, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: I still got it. | Ready for your date, Mr. Krabs? |
Mr. Krabs: I'm always ready when it comes to datin', lad! | Breath spray? |
Mr. Krabs: Check. | Lucky hanky? |
Mr. Krabs: Check. | Giant rusty anchor? |
Mr. Krabs: Uh, anchor. Anchor? I can't find me giant rusty anchor! | Relax, Mr. Krabs. Just a little joke. Good luck with you know who. |
Mr. Krabs: Who's that? | Mrs. Puff. |
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah. Well, wish me luck, lad! Mrs. Puff: Oh, Mr. Krabs! This dinner has been so wonderful. The coral was cooked to perfection. I don't think I could eat another bite. Mr. Krabs: Oh, I doubt that, my little shrimp boat. Mrs. Puff: You're spoiling me, Mr. Krabs. I mean, foot rubs between courses. Caricatures. Imported music. Mr. Krabs: Nothing's too good for you, my prickly peach. Mrs. Puff: Oh, what I'm trying to tell you, Mr. Krabs, is... Waiter: Uh, sir, your fancy pantsy limousine is here. Mr. Krabs: Wonderful! Pufflily-poo, your chariot awaits! Mrs. Puff: Well... Mr. Krabs: You'll never have to walk again, my little lobster bib. Waiter: Your bill, sir. Mr. Krabs: What? $100?! Well, this can't possibly be correct! Waiter: Oh, my mistake, sir. Thank you for pointing that out. This is your bill. | I don't understand, Mr. Krabs. How can you spend $100,000 in one night? |
Mr. Krabs: Oh, SpongeBob! I couldn't help but spend every cent I had on her! I couldn't control myself! | What are you gonna do? |
Mr. Krabs: I don't know, boy! I've got another date tomorrow! I'm caught in the middle of me two great loves! Sweet Mrs. Puff, and the rest of me money! | I wish there was some way I could help. |
Mr. Krabs: Perhaps there is, boy! I'm puttin' you in charge of me money. | I don't get it, Mr. Krabs. |
Mr. Krabs: You come with me on the date and don't let me spend any money. Now remember, we keep it cheap by going to the park. And no matter how much I ask you, you don't give me any of me money. Now give me a dollar. | Nope. |
Mr. Krabs: Good boy! You'll do fine. Mrs. Puff: Who is it? Mr. Krabs: It's me, my beautiful bell buoy! Mrs. Puff: Just a minute! Mr. Krabs: Flowers! Flowers, boy! Go get flowers! | But you said... |
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you can't call on a classy lady like Mrs. Puff empty-handed. We ain't talking about this... ...or this... ...we're talking about this! Mrs. Puff: Almost ready. Mr. Krabs: Hurry, boy! Get the flowers! Mr. Krabs: Mrs. Puff. You're as beautiful as ever. Mrs. Puff: That's funny. I thought I heard SpongeBob's voice. Mr. Krabs: Uh... you did. He'll be right back. He's our personal assistant for the day. Mrs. Puff: Oh, e-excuse me. I have to call my insurance agent. Mr. Krabs: Of course, my beautiful Puff. | Mr. Krabs, I got the flowers you wanted me to buy. |
Mr. Krabs: What's that? | I got the flowers for Mrs. Puff. |
Mr. Krabs: We had an agreement, boy. You ain't supposed to spend any of me money! | But you said... |
Mrs. Puff: Here I come! Mr. Krabs: For you, Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff: Oh, flowers. Oh, how thoughtful! Mr. Krabs: And here's a box of chocolates. SpongeBob, where's the chocolates? | Mr. Krabs, the budget doesn't allow for... |
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you can't go to Mrs. Puff's house without chocolates. Hurry! Hurry! | I bought the biggest box they had! |
Mr. Krabs: Buy, buy, buy! Spend, spend, spend! Is that all you can think about?! Mrs. Puff: Oh, Eugene! Mr. Krabs: Here's those chocolates I bought for you. What are we doing today, Mrs. Puff? Dinner? Dancing? A trip to the moon? | Psst, Mr. Krabs, we're just going for a walk in the park, remember? |
Mrs. Puff: Actually, a walk in the park sounds perfect. It's a beautiful day. I'll just need to get a sun hat and... Mr. Krabs: Mrs. Puff needs a sun hat, SpongeBob! | Oh, I think she... |
Mr. Krabs: The sun is beatin' down on poor Mrs. Puff's head. | As your financial advisor, I suggest... |
Mr. Krabs: There's no time for suggestions! Go buy a hat! | But... |
Mr. Krabs: Today! Don't worry, Mrs. Puff! I'll shade ya! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, hurry! | One shady hat. |
Mr. Krabs: Good job, lad. Mrs. Puff: Oh, well, thank you, but you didn't need to buy one. I have a hat in the closet. Mr. Krabs: Didn't need to buy one? You hear that, boy? We didn't need to buy a hat. Aren't you supposed to be saving me money?! | I'm trying, Mr. Krabs! But you keep telling me to buy things for Mrs. Puff! It's all really confusing. |
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I'm sorry. This is my fault. I'm not thinking clearly. I'm making a sailor's promise, boy. From this moment on, I won't ask you to buy anything for Mrs. Puff! Narrator: A few moments later... Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Mrs. Puff needs a new fur coat! Mr. Krabs: You're spending all me money! Puffy needs a new pair of shoes! Mr. Krabs: You're breaking me, boy! She needs fine jewelry! Not that fine! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! I'm glad I caught you. I want you to buy Mrs. Puff... | Wait! Don't tell me. You want me to run down to the store and buy Mrs. Puff something she doesn't need! Then you want me to run back here so you can say, Arrgh, SpongeBob! Yer spending all me money! And then I'll say, But Mr. Krabs, I'm only doing what you said! Then you'll say, We're not talking about this... ...Or this... ...we're talking about this! |
Mr. Krabs: But, lad, this time's different! Mrs. Puff needs this! Mrs. Puff: Are we going to the park soon? Mr. Krabs: Please, lad, I'm begging you! I'm a lonely old crustacean who's found love! Don't let me lose her! | Mr. Krabs, don't. Don't cry, Mr. Krabs! Come on. Okay, I, I'm going to get it, see? Cheer up, Mr. Krabs, Here's that washing machine you wanted. |
Mr. Krabs: Cheer up? How can I cheer up... when you're spending all me hard-earned cash?! | See?! You just did it again! |
Mr. Krabs: Lad, I can't help it if you're loose with other people's money. Do you think Mrs. Puff will need a dryer to go along with that? | Well, Mr. Krabs. Do you want to know what I think? Arrgh! Regga flebba breeka brecka smullen-ellen Mr. Krabs! Yegga hegga mergin wallet! Dimmy middy spend! Rivy flivy diva shiva Mr. Krabs Wallet! |
Mrs. Puff: I didn't know SpongeBob had such a colorful vocabulary. Actually, there's something I'd like to say, too, Mr. Krabs. I'm afraid I just don't feel comfortable accepting all these gifts. I'd rather go Dutch, if you don't mind. Mr. Krabs: Uh, okay. Mrs. Puff: You're a very sweet man, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: Aawww... | Wow, it's Sunday, Gary! Guess what's for breakfast? |
Gary: Meow. | That's right! A sundae! Whoops... Looks like we're out of ice cream. Guess I'll have to use something else... Ketchup! Hmmm... Bananas... Cherries... Boring. Ah, here we go! Onions! Ready, Gary? |
Gary: Meow. | Just one more thing! Pea... ...nuts. Gary! Our peanuts jar is totally empty! Hmmm... Wait! I know one other place we can find peanuts. Good thing I still have these peanut plants growing in the windowsill. A little texture never hurt. There we go. This sundae's gonna taste great! Aren't you going to help me, Gary? Gary? Oh, well. More for me! You know what they say, Gary. I'm easy like Sunday morning. Okay, let's see my to-do list. Go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work.. Wait, that's not right. I need the one for Sunday. Ah, here we go. 'Say hi to everyone in Bikini Bottom'. Hello. Some people are even late on Sunday. Hi, Mailfish. Hi, Mrs. Crossing Guard! |
Mrs. Crossing Guard: Mother of mercy! | Wow! A parade! Hi, parade! Hi, tuba player, hi, drummer, hi, guy with the cymbals, hi, trumpeter, hi tambourine girl, hi, timbale man, hi, didgeridoo player, hi, triangle player, hi, guy with the kettle drum, hi, pianist, hi, guy with the flute. And heeelllooo, Dolly! |
Fish bands: My leg! My leg! | Was it something I said? Something weird is going on today. Everyone is running away from me. And now... ...giant piles of bubble gum?! Oh, what next? |
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. | Oh, hi, Patrick. I'm confused. |
Patrick: Yes, I am. | Patrick, everyone is running away from me. Watch. Hi, building! I just don't get it. |
Patrick: I don't either. Maybe it's the way you're dressed. Both: Nah. Patrick: Maybe it's your voice. | Good one, Patrick. |
Patrick: Well, maybe it's just because you're ugly. | Ugly? You gotta be kiddin' me.. |
Patrick: Better try the reflection test. | Hi. |
Patrick: Ugly. | Oh no! I can't be ugly! I can't be! I can't be ugly! Am I ugly? Am I ugly? |
Driver: My eyes! My eyes! | Oof I'm ugly... |
Patrick: SpongeBob, can I borrow some bath beads? SpongeBob? | Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am. |
Patrick: Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look! Maybe a story will cheer you up. It's called, 'The Ugly Barnacle.' Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died! The end. | That didn't help at all. How long? How long have I been ugly, Patrick? |
Patrick: As long as I can remember. You poor ugly thing, you. | Help me! I'm so ashamed! I'm spiraling! I'm spiraling! Thanks, Patrick. It's okay, Patrick. Spiraling, over. |
Patrick: Just do what I do when I have problems. Scream! Come on, buddy. I'll help you. Okay, now, say it. Say it. | I can't. |
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're never going to feel better unless you get this thing off your chest. | I know, Patrick. |
Patrick: Say it. Say it. | I'm ugly. |
Patrick: You're ugly and what...? | Square? |
Patrick: No. Proud. | I'm ugly and I'm proud. |
Patrick: Good! Say it louder. | I'm ugly and I'm proud. |
Patrick: Louder. | I'm ugly and I'm proud. |
Patrick: Louder! | I'm ugly and I'm proud! I'm ugly and I'm proud! I'm ugly and I'm proud! |
Squidward: Is that what he calls it? | That felt great! I feel empowered. |
Patrick: So whaddya wanna do now? | I don't know. How about a movie? Pardon me. Ugly sponge coming through. |
Patrick: People respect self esteem. | Hi. I am very ugly. But you should enjoy the movie anyway. Excuse me, sir. I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you. |
Fred: Not at all, boy. Deuueaugh! Patrick: Don't worry about him, SpongeBob. He's just a- SpongeBob? SpongeBob, what's wrong? | I can't do this, Patrick! I've tried, and I've tried, but I'm not always as confident as I look. Maybe I'd better just go back and hide. |
Patrick: What is wrong with you people?! Afraid to look ugliness in the face? Well, here! Look at it! It's ugly, isn't it?! You look at it! | Hello. |
Patrick: You look at it! | Hi. |
Patrick: Look at it! Look at it! Look at it! Look at it! I want all of you to look at it! | They all ran away, Patrick. |
Patrick: I bet there's no line at the snack bar. Hello...? Hello...? They must be on break. | Oh, wait, Patrick! I just remembered. I've got some of my peanut-onion sundae we can share! |
Patrick: That looks great! Oh, I gotta go to the restroom! I'm out of soap, can I borrow- Wobbles: Stay back! Patrick: I just want some- Wobbles: Here! Here's my money! Take it! Take it and go away! Patrick: My hands aren't that dirty... Hey, you guys want to hear a bathroom joke? Clay: You tryin' to kill us?! Patrick: Oh... Oh! I caught the ugly! | Patrick, is everything okay in here? What are you doing in there, Patrick? |
Patrick: Wouldn't you like to know? | And why is that bag on your head? |
Patrick: Why? Oh, no reason. Except you gave me the ugly! What am I gonna do? I can't go out looking like this! | Just remember what we talked about. There's power in pride. |
Patrick: That may be fine for you, but I was one of the beautiful people. Now look at me! I'm almost as ugly as you! I always thought if I was as ugly as that guy, I don't know what I'd do. | Patrick...? |
Patrick: What's my mom gonna say? | Patrick? |
Patrick: Oh my gosh, if my sister finds out, wait, I don't have a sister, if the bank, I mean it's one thing if you have bad shoes or even bad hair, but... | Patrick! You're not ugly. Your breath stinks. Really bad. |
Patrick: Ahhhhhhhh, what a relief... | Arrgh, barnacles, Patrick! What did you eat?! |
Patrick: Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza... | No, I mean just this morning. |
Patrick: Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza... | What else? |
Patrick: Well, I had some of your sundae. | Sundae... Patrick! My sundae gave us rancid breath! |
Patrick: Whatcha mean? | I mean, we're not ugly, we just stink! |
Patrick: Stink? Both: We stink! We stink! We stink! We stink! We stink! We stink! | Oh, guess what, Squidward? |
Both: We stink! Oh yeah! We're smelly! I reek! Smell me! | Gary, come and get it! Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary must have gotten an early start. Rise and shine, Squidward! You don't wanna be late again. Okay, see you at the Krusty Krab. I guess Squidward needs his beauty sleep. Not everyone is blessed with my natural good looks. Patrick, it's morning! You don't want to forget to wake up again. Patrick? Okay, see you after work, sleepy head. Slow day. Good night, Squidward. Good night, Mr. Krabs. Gary, I'm home! Gary? You here, buddy? Gary? He hasn't touched his food! Squidward! Open up! Squidward, have you seen Gary? He's gone missing! Squidward? Not a sign of Squidward anywhere. Squidward? You up here? Hmm, Squidward's clarinet. It's not even warm. Squidward's missing, too! Patrick, open up! Squidward and Gary are missing! Patrick's gone, too. What if everybody's gone?! Mr. Krabs! He's gone, too! Sandy! She's gone. Where did everybody go?! Go! Go! Go! Everybody's gone! But I swear that I will keep the memory of Bikini Bottom alive, by living out their lives for them. SpongeBob, will you be quiet? You're disrupting my genius. Mr. Krabs, sir, can I have a raise? No! Now get to work! Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs, sir! Excuse me, sonny, may I have a Krabby Patty Deluxe please? Right away, sir! I mean... whatever. Hey, SpongeBob, we got an order for a Krabby Patty Deluxe. Heaven knows why. Coming up, Squidward! Excuse me, Sandy, but may I have some more of this delicious iced tea? Why sure! Whoops, just a sec. Why sure now, SpongeBob. Good morning, class. Can anyone tell me the first thing you do when riding a boat? Ahem, floor it? That's right, you floor it. Excellent work, SpongeBob! Why thank you, Mrs.... Pu... Pu... Puff! This is pointless! I'm not Mrs. Puff! I can't replace everyone! I'll never be happy again! Ooh, my driver's license! That's the baby. Hi, fella, it's me. It's okay, I'm licensed. Oh yeah, listen to that purr! La-la-la- -la-la-la... Good night, Boaty. No! No! No! Oh, Gary, I had a nightmare that all my friends were gone! And I was driving a-! So it was true! I... guess it's just you and me now, Boaty. This is where I work. Do you want to help me cook up some Krabby Patties? Great! Back when everyone was around, they used to enjoy these. Here, try one. What? You don't like Krabby Patties? Huh! Well, I guess we can still make this work. Whew. Boy, we learned a lot about each other today. You know? I thought I'd go crazy without all my friends and acquaintances around, but it looks like you were all I needed to stay sane! What? A puppet of my old best friend? Made entirely out of Krabby Patty Meat? Oh, Boaty, you are a card. Sorry I'm late, Patrick. Boaty was telling me a joke. |
Krabby Patty Patrick: You're awfully chummy with that guy for someone who has it out for you. | Who, Boaty? Oh no. He's... Really? |
Krabby Patty Patrick: I can't talk now. He's watching us. | Wait, Patrick! Don't go! Huh? Nothing! Boaty! I... I'm just going to bed. |
Narrator: Three days later... | Dear diary, not sure if I can trust any vehicle. Run for it as soon as the coast is clear. Huh? |
Mr. Krabs: Sheesh. Calm down, boy. | You're all still alive? Well, where did you go? |
Mr. Krabs: It was National No SpongeBob Day. | National No SpongeBob Day? |
Mr. Krabs: Yeah. A whole day dedicated to getting away from you. | A day? But you guys have been gone for weeks. |
Mr. Krabs: Uhh... yeah well... we kinda milked it a little. | You too, Patrick? |
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