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gww9dp
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
I Am a Sexual assault Victim Being Sued for Defamation of Character In Indiana State, 14 years ago, I was abused by a friend's stepfather. The statute of limitations has passed and not legally doing anything about it at the time has always been a great regret of mine. I have been actively seeking therapy for it for a year now. 4 days ago, I made a post on social media with his name and photo, calling him out for mistreating me. Other women came out and admitted he did it to them too. I posted in on a platform where 97% of the people who saw it, do not know the man or live in the area. The point of me posting that was to get it out of my system on a small platform of 200 people that don't know me too well, therefore, there would be little judgement. I found it healing and therapeutic. It also gave others the power to come out themselves. This morning, my parents received a letter from a lawyer, threatening that if I don't take down the post, they will sue for defamation of character. I don't even know what step one is. I made the post private, but I uploaded the letter instead. I'm also not willing to take back what I said. I stand by the choices I made. My mother recommended I seek a prosector, even though I can't actually prosecute because of the statute of limitations. I also don't even have any proof against him. So I guess I'm just asking what the heck do I do? Get a lawyer? Keep the post privatized and pretend it never happened? Contact a proecutor? What could happen if I lose a lawsuit? I really don't have that kind of money. How do lawsuits work? Would he have to prove that I'm lying or do I have to prove I'm not lying?
|
fsyonlv
|
fsxs90d
| 1,591,357,193 | 1,591,330,192 | 37 | 27 |
That is one crappy demand letter. Did you look up the author (on the official state website) to see if they are even an actual licensed lawyer?
|
We’re you a minor? Not a lawyer, but from what I see there isn’t a statute of limitations. If you’ve already looked into it and I’m wrong, I apologize. https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/indiana-statutes-of-limitations-for-sexual-abuse.html
| 1 | 27,001 | 1.37037 |
gww9dp
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
I Am a Sexual assault Victim Being Sued for Defamation of Character In Indiana State, 14 years ago, I was abused by a friend's stepfather. The statute of limitations has passed and not legally doing anything about it at the time has always been a great regret of mine. I have been actively seeking therapy for it for a year now. 4 days ago, I made a post on social media with his name and photo, calling him out for mistreating me. Other women came out and admitted he did it to them too. I posted in on a platform where 97% of the people who saw it, do not know the man or live in the area. The point of me posting that was to get it out of my system on a small platform of 200 people that don't know me too well, therefore, there would be little judgement. I found it healing and therapeutic. It also gave others the power to come out themselves. This morning, my parents received a letter from a lawyer, threatening that if I don't take down the post, they will sue for defamation of character. I don't even know what step one is. I made the post private, but I uploaded the letter instead. I'm also not willing to take back what I said. I stand by the choices I made. My mother recommended I seek a prosector, even though I can't actually prosecute because of the statute of limitations. I also don't even have any proof against him. So I guess I'm just asking what the heck do I do? Get a lawyer? Keep the post privatized and pretend it never happened? Contact a proecutor? What could happen if I lose a lawsuit? I really don't have that kind of money. How do lawsuits work? Would he have to prove that I'm lying or do I have to prove I'm not lying?
|
fsz8lxe
|
fsyy5t9
| 1,591,369,230 | 1,591,363,642 | 19 | 4 |
Indiana has an Anti-SLAPP law that may protect you in a situation like this. (Here's a simple, easy-to-understand link: https://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/anti-slapp-law-indiana ) SLAPP suits (Strategic Litigation Against Public Participation) often come as defamation claims - I'm going to threaten you with defamation to stop you from saying things about me I don't like. These got so bad several states have enacted (or are considering enacting) Anti-SLAPP laws. More, if you're being 100% truthful, that's an absolute defense to defamation. More, under Indiana's Anti-SLAPP statute, the bar is lower - you only need a good faith belief and a reasonable basis to claim you're speaking truthfully. As for a criminal prosecution, if you were a minor when the sexual assaults were occurring, the SoL may be extended until you are 31 (helpful link from the good folks @ RAINN: https://apps.rainn.org/policy/policy-crime-definitions.cfm?state=Indiana&group=7&\_ga=2.160084861.1557810525.1591369148-47055811.1591369148 )
|
You haven’t actually been sued yet. This just seems like an intimidation tactic. He would have to prove that your post caused damages. You might want to get a free consultation with a lawyer for piece of mind. RAINN.org is also a good resource
| 1 | 5,588 | 4.75 |
zs7361
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.74 |
Being sued almost 2 years after a car accident for $2M Location: New York 2 years ago I was involved in a rear end collision that left my car totaled and their cars back bumper dented but nothing really passed that. I drove a small compact car and she was in a huge SUV. She got out of the car was walking around fine and everything. Now I got this summons for $2m and I have no idea how I’m going to come up with this money. My policy is 100/300 and I’m on my parents policy so I think my Dad is being named too? I’m not sure how that works. Are they going to take our house? Even then the value of our home is $700k and that’s kinda stretching it. I’m scared, don’t know know what to do and feel like my life is over.
|
j1a0982
|
j19aa4h
| 1,671,737,717 | 1,671,727,641 | 4 | 3 |
I'm a personal injury paralegal. We throw in big numbers at the beginning just to not limit ourselves in negotiations. Most PI firms are going to settle for about 3x the person's medical costs or so. In the event that they did get policy limits, they would likely turn around and file on their Underinsured motorist coverage before trying to come after you. Just give the complaint and summons to your insurer and they should appoint an attorney for you as part of your coverage.
|
Right, been in a similar situation. Step 1: Let the family know. (You've done this). Step 2: Contact the Insurance company. Send them copies or originals, if they ask. Make additional copies for yourself regardless. See what they say, even if they tell you to wait. Step 3: Wait. While waiting, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT try to handle anything yourself. You want to look up the people/person suing you for whatever? Fine. You want research potential lawyers to hire? Fine. You want google some idea you got? Fine. BUT DO NOT USE IT. You find info that might help?? Talk it over with the family first, and maybe send it to your insurance. You find an attorney that looks really good for your situation? Bookmark their webpage and save their name. Then that's it. DO NOT CONTACT THAT ATTORNEY WHILE WAITING ON WORD FROM YOUR INSURANCE. You googled your idea and your idea seems real good? Bookmark the page. Then DONT DO ANYTHING. WAIT FOR THE INSURANCE. After you contact the insurance company, WAIT for them to respond. Just WAIT. Gather whatever information you want to, but DO NOT act on it. DO NOT try to handle it yourself. You do NOT need an attorney yet. The insurance company should have their own attorneys for this. If your insurance tells your family you need an attorney, THEN get the attorney. Step 4: Do whatever the insurance company tells you. There's a good chance the insurance company will be able to handle this entire affair without involving you or your family.
| 1 | 10,076 | 1.333333 |
qptygg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
I’m a victim of identity theft and now I’m being sued by creditors. My dad stole my identity and racked up a bunch of credit card debt in my name. A few months after this was discovered, he died from an overdose. I got most of it forgiven, but one company sold the debt to a creditor and now I’m being sued. My dad made himself an authorized user on this card and charged thousands of dollars without my knowledge or consent. Since I had previously used the account the company is holding me at fault. I was put in charge of financially handling his estate and have already spent a lot of money on this matter. I can’t afford another lawyer for the situation I had no part in. I’m only 26 and don’t want to declare bankruptcy for a debt that isn’t mine. I would appreciate any advice for next steps I should take or lawyers that specialize in helping victims of identity theft in Chicago. Thanks.
|
hjwxryh
|
hjwsrf8
| 1,636,446,794 | 1,636,442,606 | 42 | 31 |
Not a lawyer - but service members get this behavior all the time and it is illegal. Please take a look at the Fair Debt Collections Practices Act. You can file complaints with the Consumer Financial Protection Agency, the Federal Trade Commission, and your state Attorney General. From a practical angle you need a lawyer because you have been sued. The company is looking at your age and is counting on you being naive and bullying you into payment. When this happens to service members, a letter from a lawyer asserting rights and stating the facts of identity theft was usually enough. If they take you to court anyway, then give the evidence of identity theft including the unauthorized access to the account to your lawyer, show up, and you should be good. They are trying to bully you, do not let them.
|
I understand why you might not have, but did you file a police report for the unauthorized use?
| 1 | 4,188 | 1.354839 |
pukegt
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Put in my 2 week notice, supervisor heard of this and now wants to terminate me. Point under my name giving me a 7 day suspension, writeup was for a rule I didn't break but states I "took too long of a break and had to report it to HR." So to jot things down about specific laws, I live in California, Monterey County to be rather specific. I'm currently on day one of my 7 day suspension and I'm considering opening a case with my Union representative about this. I'm rather dazed because I've been restless as to what I should do about this as I've been urgently saving to hopefully move to Texas with my girlfriend. My supervisor also knows of this. According to the writeup, I was written up for GWR (General Work Rule) #3 - which is in regards to vandalism, theft, or tampering with company property that may pose a threat of injury or death to employees. According to my supervisors word of mouth, I've been suspended for using my third break longer than designated/assigned. I explained to him that I was suffering from constipation, as working night shifts really has put a toll on my physical health, but he disregarded that and said it just wasn't right for me to not tell anyone. I forgot specific hours. But for reference, I began my break at 22:04, and ended it at 22:25, sat down in the locker rooms till 22:32 which is when he had found me sitting on a locker room bench, messaging my girlfriend about how I'm not feeling well and considering asking someone about going home early. Walked down with him to the office and sat me down to write a statement, office visit ranged from 22:35 to 22:56 as I didn't know what I needed to write a statement for, I was constipated and rather worn out from work that day as they had me working nonstop excluding first break and lunch. All I remember from that office visit was sitting blankly at the desk for a solid 5 minutes, was told to write something, and quickly wrote on paper explaining how I basically gave the janitor a field day to work with in a stall. Sent back to work for the rest of that night, 4 days later and here I am. How do I go about in hoping that I get my weeks worth of pay? This suspension isn't right, everyone in the main office is playing a game of favorites and they're rather vicious in getting things done in their favor. I'm not sure if HR is playing said game too, but my requests usually fall on deaf ears whenever I go to them. I'm considering going right to the Union to get that point scrubbed from my name and compensated with the weeks worth of pay they are taking away from me. There are people in that same building that would stamp their break minutes for exactly 15 but would hang around in the locker rooms for well over an hour before returning to production. We get paid for breaks (excluding lunch) so there really isn't a big deal about needing to use the restroom, when all they do is hang around and talk in excess of 20 minutes and above. I'm being targeted as I've made it known to my supervisor that since he doesn't respect me, I have no respect for him. It's common word around here to be a suckup to the higher-ups to even move a little up the ladder in pay, I'm not going to bow down and attune myself to their likings. Is there much else I can do before I resign if that day even comes before my termination?
|
he3t97n
|
he3t667
| 1,632,499,362 | 1,632,499,327 | 260 | 123 |
Definitely talk to your union rep about it. Isn't the exact reason why you pay to be in a union so that they can help you with situations like this? If they aren't helpful, then you may need to explore other avenues, but for now I would start by going through the union.
|
It’s a good idea to escalate to your union rep. Beyond that it’s not sounding like you have much legal recourse. It sounds like they are being vindictive since you gave your resignation. If the last week or so of pay is important I’d say fight it out through your union, if it’s not you can tender your resignation effective today and be done with the whole thing
| 1 | 35 | 2.113821 |
pukegt
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Put in my 2 week notice, supervisor heard of this and now wants to terminate me. Point under my name giving me a 7 day suspension, writeup was for a rule I didn't break but states I "took too long of a break and had to report it to HR." So to jot things down about specific laws, I live in California, Monterey County to be rather specific. I'm currently on day one of my 7 day suspension and I'm considering opening a case with my Union representative about this. I'm rather dazed because I've been restless as to what I should do about this as I've been urgently saving to hopefully move to Texas with my girlfriend. My supervisor also knows of this. According to the writeup, I was written up for GWR (General Work Rule) #3 - which is in regards to vandalism, theft, or tampering with company property that may pose a threat of injury or death to employees. According to my supervisors word of mouth, I've been suspended for using my third break longer than designated/assigned. I explained to him that I was suffering from constipation, as working night shifts really has put a toll on my physical health, but he disregarded that and said it just wasn't right for me to not tell anyone. I forgot specific hours. But for reference, I began my break at 22:04, and ended it at 22:25, sat down in the locker rooms till 22:32 which is when he had found me sitting on a locker room bench, messaging my girlfriend about how I'm not feeling well and considering asking someone about going home early. Walked down with him to the office and sat me down to write a statement, office visit ranged from 22:35 to 22:56 as I didn't know what I needed to write a statement for, I was constipated and rather worn out from work that day as they had me working nonstop excluding first break and lunch. All I remember from that office visit was sitting blankly at the desk for a solid 5 minutes, was told to write something, and quickly wrote on paper explaining how I basically gave the janitor a field day to work with in a stall. Sent back to work for the rest of that night, 4 days later and here I am. How do I go about in hoping that I get my weeks worth of pay? This suspension isn't right, everyone in the main office is playing a game of favorites and they're rather vicious in getting things done in their favor. I'm not sure if HR is playing said game too, but my requests usually fall on deaf ears whenever I go to them. I'm considering going right to the Union to get that point scrubbed from my name and compensated with the weeks worth of pay they are taking away from me. There are people in that same building that would stamp their break minutes for exactly 15 but would hang around in the locker rooms for well over an hour before returning to production. We get paid for breaks (excluding lunch) so there really isn't a big deal about needing to use the restroom, when all they do is hang around and talk in excess of 20 minutes and above. I'm being targeted as I've made it known to my supervisor that since he doesn't respect me, I have no respect for him. It's common word around here to be a suckup to the higher-ups to even move a little up the ladder in pay, I'm not going to bow down and attune myself to their likings. Is there much else I can do before I resign if that day even comes before my termination?
|
he3u5hk
|
he5d8a7
| 1,632,499,729 | 1,632,522,925 | 18 | 23 |
If it was after your resignation, possibly grounds for retaliation? Especially if you've never been written up before.
|
As a general rule, if you ever feel like it's a good idea to bring something to your union rep, just do it. Part of our job is to answer questions, listen, and help determine what needs further attention.
| 0 | 23,196 | 1.277778 |
pukegt
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Put in my 2 week notice, supervisor heard of this and now wants to terminate me. Point under my name giving me a 7 day suspension, writeup was for a rule I didn't break but states I "took too long of a break and had to report it to HR." So to jot things down about specific laws, I live in California, Monterey County to be rather specific. I'm currently on day one of my 7 day suspension and I'm considering opening a case with my Union representative about this. I'm rather dazed because I've been restless as to what I should do about this as I've been urgently saving to hopefully move to Texas with my girlfriend. My supervisor also knows of this. According to the writeup, I was written up for GWR (General Work Rule) #3 - which is in regards to vandalism, theft, or tampering with company property that may pose a threat of injury or death to employees. According to my supervisors word of mouth, I've been suspended for using my third break longer than designated/assigned. I explained to him that I was suffering from constipation, as working night shifts really has put a toll on my physical health, but he disregarded that and said it just wasn't right for me to not tell anyone. I forgot specific hours. But for reference, I began my break at 22:04, and ended it at 22:25, sat down in the locker rooms till 22:32 which is when he had found me sitting on a locker room bench, messaging my girlfriend about how I'm not feeling well and considering asking someone about going home early. Walked down with him to the office and sat me down to write a statement, office visit ranged from 22:35 to 22:56 as I didn't know what I needed to write a statement for, I was constipated and rather worn out from work that day as they had me working nonstop excluding first break and lunch. All I remember from that office visit was sitting blankly at the desk for a solid 5 minutes, was told to write something, and quickly wrote on paper explaining how I basically gave the janitor a field day to work with in a stall. Sent back to work for the rest of that night, 4 days later and here I am. How do I go about in hoping that I get my weeks worth of pay? This suspension isn't right, everyone in the main office is playing a game of favorites and they're rather vicious in getting things done in their favor. I'm not sure if HR is playing said game too, but my requests usually fall on deaf ears whenever I go to them. I'm considering going right to the Union to get that point scrubbed from my name and compensated with the weeks worth of pay they are taking away from me. There are people in that same building that would stamp their break minutes for exactly 15 but would hang around in the locker rooms for well over an hour before returning to production. We get paid for breaks (excluding lunch) so there really isn't a big deal about needing to use the restroom, when all they do is hang around and talk in excess of 20 minutes and above. I'm being targeted as I've made it known to my supervisor that since he doesn't respect me, I have no respect for him. It's common word around here to be a suckup to the higher-ups to even move a little up the ladder in pay, I'm not going to bow down and attune myself to their likings. Is there much else I can do before I resign if that day even comes before my termination?
|
he44b24
|
he5d8a7
| 1,632,503,968 | 1,632,522,925 | 3 | 23 |
It sounds like you've never been informed of your rights as a union member. It is a little late now but if your new job is classified (represented by a union) you should know your Weingarten Rights. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weingarten\_Rights
|
As a general rule, if you ever feel like it's a good idea to bring something to your union rep, just do it. Part of our job is to answer questions, listen, and help determine what needs further attention.
| 0 | 18,957 | 7.666667 |
pukegt
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Put in my 2 week notice, supervisor heard of this and now wants to terminate me. Point under my name giving me a 7 day suspension, writeup was for a rule I didn't break but states I "took too long of a break and had to report it to HR." So to jot things down about specific laws, I live in California, Monterey County to be rather specific. I'm currently on day one of my 7 day suspension and I'm considering opening a case with my Union representative about this. I'm rather dazed because I've been restless as to what I should do about this as I've been urgently saving to hopefully move to Texas with my girlfriend. My supervisor also knows of this. According to the writeup, I was written up for GWR (General Work Rule) #3 - which is in regards to vandalism, theft, or tampering with company property that may pose a threat of injury or death to employees. According to my supervisors word of mouth, I've been suspended for using my third break longer than designated/assigned. I explained to him that I was suffering from constipation, as working night shifts really has put a toll on my physical health, but he disregarded that and said it just wasn't right for me to not tell anyone. I forgot specific hours. But for reference, I began my break at 22:04, and ended it at 22:25, sat down in the locker rooms till 22:32 which is when he had found me sitting on a locker room bench, messaging my girlfriend about how I'm not feeling well and considering asking someone about going home early. Walked down with him to the office and sat me down to write a statement, office visit ranged from 22:35 to 22:56 as I didn't know what I needed to write a statement for, I was constipated and rather worn out from work that day as they had me working nonstop excluding first break and lunch. All I remember from that office visit was sitting blankly at the desk for a solid 5 minutes, was told to write something, and quickly wrote on paper explaining how I basically gave the janitor a field day to work with in a stall. Sent back to work for the rest of that night, 4 days later and here I am. How do I go about in hoping that I get my weeks worth of pay? This suspension isn't right, everyone in the main office is playing a game of favorites and they're rather vicious in getting things done in their favor. I'm not sure if HR is playing said game too, but my requests usually fall on deaf ears whenever I go to them. I'm considering going right to the Union to get that point scrubbed from my name and compensated with the weeks worth of pay they are taking away from me. There are people in that same building that would stamp their break minutes for exactly 15 but would hang around in the locker rooms for well over an hour before returning to production. We get paid for breaks (excluding lunch) so there really isn't a big deal about needing to use the restroom, when all they do is hang around and talk in excess of 20 minutes and above. I'm being targeted as I've made it known to my supervisor that since he doesn't respect me, I have no respect for him. It's common word around here to be a suckup to the higher-ups to even move a little up the ladder in pay, I'm not going to bow down and attune myself to their likings. Is there much else I can do before I resign if that day even comes before my termination?
|
he42ewd
|
he5d8a7
| 1,632,503,161 | 1,632,522,925 | 2 | 23 |
Absolutely go to the Union. If you are a part of the one I am thinking of (PB employee here) they are extremely willing to fight for you. They are very much used to dealing with HR in situations where HR makes you feel like there isn’t anything you can do.
|
As a general rule, if you ever feel like it's a good idea to bring something to your union rep, just do it. Part of our job is to answer questions, listen, and help determine what needs further attention.
| 0 | 19,764 | 11.5 |
pukegt
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Put in my 2 week notice, supervisor heard of this and now wants to terminate me. Point under my name giving me a 7 day suspension, writeup was for a rule I didn't break but states I "took too long of a break and had to report it to HR." So to jot things down about specific laws, I live in California, Monterey County to be rather specific. I'm currently on day one of my 7 day suspension and I'm considering opening a case with my Union representative about this. I'm rather dazed because I've been restless as to what I should do about this as I've been urgently saving to hopefully move to Texas with my girlfriend. My supervisor also knows of this. According to the writeup, I was written up for GWR (General Work Rule) #3 - which is in regards to vandalism, theft, or tampering with company property that may pose a threat of injury or death to employees. According to my supervisors word of mouth, I've been suspended for using my third break longer than designated/assigned. I explained to him that I was suffering from constipation, as working night shifts really has put a toll on my physical health, but he disregarded that and said it just wasn't right for me to not tell anyone. I forgot specific hours. But for reference, I began my break at 22:04, and ended it at 22:25, sat down in the locker rooms till 22:32 which is when he had found me sitting on a locker room bench, messaging my girlfriend about how I'm not feeling well and considering asking someone about going home early. Walked down with him to the office and sat me down to write a statement, office visit ranged from 22:35 to 22:56 as I didn't know what I needed to write a statement for, I was constipated and rather worn out from work that day as they had me working nonstop excluding first break and lunch. All I remember from that office visit was sitting blankly at the desk for a solid 5 minutes, was told to write something, and quickly wrote on paper explaining how I basically gave the janitor a field day to work with in a stall. Sent back to work for the rest of that night, 4 days later and here I am. How do I go about in hoping that I get my weeks worth of pay? This suspension isn't right, everyone in the main office is playing a game of favorites and they're rather vicious in getting things done in their favor. I'm not sure if HR is playing said game too, but my requests usually fall on deaf ears whenever I go to them. I'm considering going right to the Union to get that point scrubbed from my name and compensated with the weeks worth of pay they are taking away from me. There are people in that same building that would stamp their break minutes for exactly 15 but would hang around in the locker rooms for well over an hour before returning to production. We get paid for breaks (excluding lunch) so there really isn't a big deal about needing to use the restroom, when all they do is hang around and talk in excess of 20 minutes and above. I'm being targeted as I've made it known to my supervisor that since he doesn't respect me, I have no respect for him. It's common word around here to be a suckup to the higher-ups to even move a little up the ladder in pay, I'm not going to bow down and attune myself to their likings. Is there much else I can do before I resign if that day even comes before my termination?
|
he46yog
|
he5d8a7
| 1,632,505,080 | 1,632,522,925 | 2 | 23 |
Are you not allowed to use the bathroom except when you are on break? You could make the argument that if you are allowed to use the bathroom while not on break that time in there should have counted while you were on the clock.
|
As a general rule, if you ever feel like it's a good idea to bring something to your union rep, just do it. Part of our job is to answer questions, listen, and help determine what needs further attention.
| 0 | 17,845 | 11.5 |
pukegt
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Put in my 2 week notice, supervisor heard of this and now wants to terminate me. Point under my name giving me a 7 day suspension, writeup was for a rule I didn't break but states I "took too long of a break and had to report it to HR." So to jot things down about specific laws, I live in California, Monterey County to be rather specific. I'm currently on day one of my 7 day suspension and I'm considering opening a case with my Union representative about this. I'm rather dazed because I've been restless as to what I should do about this as I've been urgently saving to hopefully move to Texas with my girlfriend. My supervisor also knows of this. According to the writeup, I was written up for GWR (General Work Rule) #3 - which is in regards to vandalism, theft, or tampering with company property that may pose a threat of injury or death to employees. According to my supervisors word of mouth, I've been suspended for using my third break longer than designated/assigned. I explained to him that I was suffering from constipation, as working night shifts really has put a toll on my physical health, but he disregarded that and said it just wasn't right for me to not tell anyone. I forgot specific hours. But for reference, I began my break at 22:04, and ended it at 22:25, sat down in the locker rooms till 22:32 which is when he had found me sitting on a locker room bench, messaging my girlfriend about how I'm not feeling well and considering asking someone about going home early. Walked down with him to the office and sat me down to write a statement, office visit ranged from 22:35 to 22:56 as I didn't know what I needed to write a statement for, I was constipated and rather worn out from work that day as they had me working nonstop excluding first break and lunch. All I remember from that office visit was sitting blankly at the desk for a solid 5 minutes, was told to write something, and quickly wrote on paper explaining how I basically gave the janitor a field day to work with in a stall. Sent back to work for the rest of that night, 4 days later and here I am. How do I go about in hoping that I get my weeks worth of pay? This suspension isn't right, everyone in the main office is playing a game of favorites and they're rather vicious in getting things done in their favor. I'm not sure if HR is playing said game too, but my requests usually fall on deaf ears whenever I go to them. I'm considering going right to the Union to get that point scrubbed from my name and compensated with the weeks worth of pay they are taking away from me. There are people in that same building that would stamp their break minutes for exactly 15 but would hang around in the locker rooms for well over an hour before returning to production. We get paid for breaks (excluding lunch) so there really isn't a big deal about needing to use the restroom, when all they do is hang around and talk in excess of 20 minutes and above. I'm being targeted as I've made it known to my supervisor that since he doesn't respect me, I have no respect for him. It's common word around here to be a suckup to the higher-ups to even move a little up the ladder in pay, I'm not going to bow down and attune myself to their likings. Is there much else I can do before I resign if that day even comes before my termination?
|
he42ewd
|
he44b24
| 1,632,503,161 | 1,632,503,968 | 2 | 3 |
Absolutely go to the Union. If you are a part of the one I am thinking of (PB employee here) they are extremely willing to fight for you. They are very much used to dealing with HR in situations where HR makes you feel like there isn’t anything you can do.
|
It sounds like you've never been informed of your rights as a union member. It is a little late now but if your new job is classified (represented by a union) you should know your Weingarten Rights. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weingarten\_Rights
| 0 | 807 | 1.5 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iy9fhwo
|
iy9fru2
| 1,669,748,969 | 1,669,749,079 | 172 | 835 |
Was the word "f\*\*\*\*t" a gay slur?
|
You're in California, so being called a F****T at work in response to reporting someone who previously assaulted you (the glasses) crosses the line (IMO, Not a lawyer) into a violation of your civil rights under the Fair Employment and Housing Act. Since this happened in front of a supervisor and they are doing nothing about it, this loops them into the problem as they are mandated to uphold FEHA as they certainly know under their mandated training. Call the Civil Rights Department of the State of California at 800 884-1864 and tell them what happened. Their email is [email protected]. I'm sorry this happened. It is wrong and you shouldn't feel responsible for anything that happened to you.
| 0 | 110 | 4.854651 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iy9fhwo
|
iyao90g
| 1,669,748,969 | 1,669,766,850 | 172 | 480 |
Was the word "f\*\*\*\*t" a gay slur?
|
This is 3 incidents. 1 you were assaulted. Does the copy of the report have anything that says she admitted it? That would be helpful. File a police report for a paper trail- specifically, state your employer wanted the report destroyed and cite the contact info for the security guard. 2. Retaliation. Homophobic slurs in front of a supervisor for reporting an assault. This is creating an unsafe hostile work environment. 3. You know the supervisor wanted the report destroyed. Again this makes the supervisor complacent in creating a hostile work environment. Ask if your security guard would be willing to write out a statement explaining what happened. Not a lawyer however I would take the incident report, the police report, and the security guard's statement to HR and ask what steps they are going to take to ensure your safety at work. I would also read your employee handbook so you KNOW AHEAD what is the company policy and procedures.
| 0 | 17,881 | 2.790698 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyao90g
|
iy9sn90
| 1,669,766,850 | 1,669,753,992 | 480 | 102 |
This is 3 incidents. 1 you were assaulted. Does the copy of the report have anything that says she admitted it? That would be helpful. File a police report for a paper trail- specifically, state your employer wanted the report destroyed and cite the contact info for the security guard. 2. Retaliation. Homophobic slurs in front of a supervisor for reporting an assault. This is creating an unsafe hostile work environment. 3. You know the supervisor wanted the report destroyed. Again this makes the supervisor complacent in creating a hostile work environment. Ask if your security guard would be willing to write out a statement explaining what happened. Not a lawyer however I would take the incident report, the police report, and the security guard's statement to HR and ask what steps they are going to take to ensure your safety at work. I would also read your employee handbook so you KNOW AHEAD what is the company policy and procedures.
|
Not a lawyer, but please file a police report. If you have been assaulted, a police report will not only add credence and legitimately to your report to security and any future legal action you take, but is a valid action to take. A company willing to throw away a report, or try, could very possibly want to delegitimize your experience when legal action is discussed. Also, as this is a medical professional, they should not be doing things like this and still be employed. Protect yourself from retaliation and ensure your experience is reported to all available authority figures.
| 1 | 12,858 | 4.705882 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyao90g
|
iyamxnj
| 1,669,766,850 | 1,669,766,265 | 480 | 24 |
This is 3 incidents. 1 you were assaulted. Does the copy of the report have anything that says she admitted it? That would be helpful. File a police report for a paper trail- specifically, state your employer wanted the report destroyed and cite the contact info for the security guard. 2. Retaliation. Homophobic slurs in front of a supervisor for reporting an assault. This is creating an unsafe hostile work environment. 3. You know the supervisor wanted the report destroyed. Again this makes the supervisor complacent in creating a hostile work environment. Ask if your security guard would be willing to write out a statement explaining what happened. Not a lawyer however I would take the incident report, the police report, and the security guard's statement to HR and ask what steps they are going to take to ensure your safety at work. I would also read your employee handbook so you KNOW AHEAD what is the company policy and procedures.
|
If I were you I would make a police report and turn that as well as the incident report to the hospital ombudsman and the state nursing board. The director will have a very difficult time making it disappear when the licensing board is gathering evidence. Someone who treats a coworker that way should not be allowed to be alone with a vulnerable patient population.
| 1 | 585 | 20 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyatlsh
|
iyap24p
| 1,669,769,220 | 1,669,767,204 | 20 | 2 |
If it didn't make it into the original report, immediately file a second report regarding the attempted suppression, the harassment, and any threats. The people involved here have created a hostile work environment for you, document everything. Then contact a lawyer. Tell no one you will do or have done either. Do exactly what your lawyer says. Stop posting on reddit.
|
Adding to what has already been said. If you suffered any injury during the described assault you should seek medical treatment and file a workers compensation claim since the incident happened during your employment.
| 1 | 2,016 | 10 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyb5ijc
|
iyb48aa
| 1,669,774,672 | 1,669,774,080 | 18 | 5 |
California law bans discrimination based on “actual or perceived” sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or gender expression, which means you are protected even if your employer is mistaken about your identity. It’s immaterial if you are actually a member of the LGBTQ community, her use of a homophobic slurs coupled with a physical assault creates a potential cause of action. The actions of the director to sweep it under the rug can make your employer liable. Consult an employment attorney in CA. And file a police report for the assault.
|
There is the claim against the coworker and the employer. I have done these kinds of cases. The employer is responsible for what managers do and how they handle this. They are responsible for not disciplining the other employee, but not generally responsible for the assault.
| 1 | 592 | 3.6 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyb5ijc
|
iyap24p
| 1,669,774,672 | 1,669,767,204 | 18 | 2 |
California law bans discrimination based on “actual or perceived” sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or gender expression, which means you are protected even if your employer is mistaken about your identity. It’s immaterial if you are actually a member of the LGBTQ community, her use of a homophobic slurs coupled with a physical assault creates a potential cause of action. The actions of the director to sweep it under the rug can make your employer liable. Consult an employment attorney in CA. And file a police report for the assault.
|
Adding to what has already been said. If you suffered any injury during the described assault you should seek medical treatment and file a workers compensation claim since the incident happened during your employment.
| 1 | 7,468 | 9 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyb5ijc
|
iyay1yj
| 1,669,774,672 | 1,669,771,238 | 18 | 2 |
California law bans discrimination based on “actual or perceived” sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or gender expression, which means you are protected even if your employer is mistaken about your identity. It’s immaterial if you are actually a member of the LGBTQ community, her use of a homophobic slurs coupled with a physical assault creates a potential cause of action. The actions of the director to sweep it under the rug can make your employer liable. Consult an employment attorney in CA. And file a police report for the assault.
|
Does your friend in security happen to know whether there any video cameras in the area?
| 1 | 3,434 | 9 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyb5ofu
|
iyb48aa
| 1,669,774,747 | 1,669,774,080 | 9 | 5 |
Call the police. Incident reports are for the company to cover itself legally
|
There is the claim against the coworker and the employer. I have done these kinds of cases. The employer is responsible for what managers do and how they handle this. They are responsible for not disciplining the other employee, but not generally responsible for the assault.
| 1 | 667 | 1.8 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyb5ofu
|
iyap24p
| 1,669,774,747 | 1,669,767,204 | 9 | 2 |
Call the police. Incident reports are for the company to cover itself legally
|
Adding to what has already been said. If you suffered any injury during the described assault you should seek medical treatment and file a workers compensation claim since the incident happened during your employment.
| 1 | 7,543 | 4.5 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyay1yj
|
iyb5ofu
| 1,669,771,238 | 1,669,774,747 | 2 | 9 |
Does your friend in security happen to know whether there any video cameras in the area?
|
Call the police. Incident reports are for the company to cover itself legally
| 0 | 3,509 | 4.5 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyap24p
|
iyb48aa
| 1,669,767,204 | 1,669,774,080 | 2 | 5 |
Adding to what has already been said. If you suffered any injury during the described assault you should seek medical treatment and file a workers compensation claim since the incident happened during your employment.
|
There is the claim against the coworker and the employer. I have done these kinds of cases. The employer is responsible for what managers do and how they handle this. They are responsible for not disciplining the other employee, but not generally responsible for the assault.
| 0 | 6,876 | 2.5 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyay1yj
|
iyb48aa
| 1,669,771,238 | 1,669,774,080 | 2 | 5 |
Does your friend in security happen to know whether there any video cameras in the area?
|
There is the claim against the coworker and the employer. I have done these kinds of cases. The employer is responsible for what managers do and how they handle this. They are responsible for not disciplining the other employee, but not generally responsible for the assault.
| 0 | 2,842 | 2.5 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iyap24p
|
iybimlp
| 1,669,767,204 | 1,669,780,949 | 2 | 5 |
Adding to what has already been said. If you suffered any injury during the described assault you should seek medical treatment and file a workers compensation claim since the incident happened during your employment.
|
Definitely follow up on the security report with a police report. If this woman treats you like that, I can't imagine how she treats patients.
| 0 | 13,745 | 2.5 |
z80te8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Co-worked attacked me then in front of a supervisor she cussed me out. My department manger wanted to throw away the incident report. Work at a medical facility in California. Yesterday a co-worker was upset with me to the point she grabbed my glasses from my face twice and threw them across the room when no one is looking. Immediately told the Charge nurse who then told a director. They talked to us, but I still wanted to make an incident report with security. She told me to “shut the f*** up f****t.” Infront of one of the directors who was trying to mediate the problem. Today I found out my boss wanted security to throw away the report. Security did not and I asked for a copy of the report now. What can do with this or can I do anything? She’s a Nurse(42)F and I am a janitor (25)M.
|
iybimlp
|
iyay1yj
| 1,669,780,949 | 1,669,771,238 | 5 | 2 |
Definitely follow up on the security report with a police report. If this woman treats you like that, I can't imagine how she treats patients.
|
Does your friend in security happen to know whether there any video cameras in the area?
| 1 | 9,711 | 2.5 |
zr9i7a
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My stepmother stole and gave away or sold my mom’s jewelry. Can I get it back? (Delaware) My stepmom stole my mother’s wedding jewelry out of my room when I was nine. She said she was taking it and putting it up, so that I didn’t break it. She confessed today to giving it away a few years later when I was about eleven. For perspective, I’m now 36. I don’t believe she gave it away for no money, but either way, I want it back. Is there a way for me to do this? For context, the jewelry was willed to me along with my mother’s plate and silver. She gave me the woman she gave it to name and number. I can call her, but I’m not sure if I should.
|
j135f4h
|
j13jhvt
| 1,671,614,046 | 1,671,625,084 | 25 | 26 |
This may be a long shot, but if you know the attorney who drafted her will or if any attorney was involved in her estate after her passing, you might meet with friendlier ears since they know the case and knew your mother. Probate attorneys can know a client for an extended period of time and have correspondence over the course of years or decades. I'd do that first because there are a lot of different ways this could go. Threatening the other woman may cause pieces to disappear. Filing a police report for the theft since you just discovered it would probably be on the list of things the attorney tells you to do. It may be worth giving a heads up to local pawn shops. If someone decides they need to quickly offload stolen jewelry, that's where they'd go.
|
Make sure I understand this. Twenty seven years ago your step mother took this jewelry for safe keeping from a minor and now eighteen years after you turned 18 you are wanting to know if there are legal options to force a return?
| 0 | 11,038 | 1.04 |
zr9i7a
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My stepmother stole and gave away or sold my mom’s jewelry. Can I get it back? (Delaware) My stepmom stole my mother’s wedding jewelry out of my room when I was nine. She said she was taking it and putting it up, so that I didn’t break it. She confessed today to giving it away a few years later when I was about eleven. For perspective, I’m now 36. I don’t believe she gave it away for no money, but either way, I want it back. Is there a way for me to do this? For context, the jewelry was willed to me along with my mother’s plate and silver. She gave me the woman she gave it to name and number. I can call her, but I’m not sure if I should.
|
j14p93k
|
j15rj3k
| 1,671,643,640 | 1,671,658,589 | 2 | 3 |
It just came to me, check if you're in a state that requires one-party consent to record conversations. It might be risky, but if you're in one-party consent state you might be able to get an evidence of her actions. You could lie you lost the phone number she gave you to the woman she gave the jewelry to and by her giving it to you once again you would have an admission of guilt. You'd just have to word the question right, so maybe somethinng like "What was the number again, the one to the woman you gave my mothers jewelry to? I can't seem to find it." WARNING This is not a legal advice, this is just an idea. Consult a lawyer first they might have an idea for a different approach, but a knowledge if you're in a one-party consent state wouldn't hurt in the future. You never know when it might come in handy. EDIT Sorry, I just noticed the Delaware information, so you are in a one-person consent state. I just came here from the other thread you posted on and didn't even pay attention to the title.
|
You have to act quickly now! You have a chance, even if the theft was so long ago, because you just found out about it. But you have to act NOW. File a complaint with the police against your stepmother. Cite your father as a witness that you have only just found out about it and also submit a copy of the will and e.g. photos of the jewellery. Get a lawyer to help you immediately. You can still withdraw the complaint if your stepmother takes the jewellery back and you don't want to cause her any trouble. But if you don't report her, the time limit may expire and the offence will become time-barred. Even if the jewellery is now with someone else, it is legally yours. It doesn't matter if the jewellery was given or sold to that person. But you have to make an official claim NOW.
| 0 | 14,949 | 1.5 |
apx3kf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.82 |
I’m a massage therapist, client is claiming I sexually harassed her and potentially looking to press charges. We have never been physically intimate I live in Ohio. I work at a chain of massage therapy locations and a former employee and co-worker started coming in for massages. We were friendly when working together but never more that that. After she quit working there and started coming in for massages, she began requesting me as a therapist (not very unusual, I’m good at my job) and would make small talk before and after sessions, one thing lead to another and we exchanged numbers, she’s married and I’m in a committed relationship so I’m not sure what I was thinking but clearly it was a moment of weakness. Through txt message she insinuated and tried to initiate a physical relationship with me, and I did eventually send her a dick pic, after receiving pictures from her. WE WERE NEVER PHYSICALLY TOGETHER. When she pressured about a physical relationship, I was very direct and told her I had no interest in that and didn’t hold emotional feelings toward her. She wasn’t happy, but wasn’t aggressive or angry at the way we left it. That was last week. Fast forward to today, when I get a call from my boss telling me I need to come in ASAP to “talk about an issue”. He then proceeded to explain to me that a client is claiming inappropriate contact against me and claiming that i propositioned her twice in the massage room and “tried to finger her” but she said no and we just made out instead. My boss made it clear to her that I would be fired and banned from all company property and insinuated to me that she would try to pursue criminal charges, she asked him if the business would help her pursue criminal charges, he declined. My concern is does she have a case for criminal charges? I get that I’m fired and more than likely going lose my license, but can she really pursue criminal charges in what essentially boils down to he said/she said? (There are no cameras in the massage rooms) Should I speak to a lawyer about potential criminal charges? I can’t really afford a lawyer so I would more than likely end up with a court appointed lawyer if it got to that point, would that potentially be a bad thing?
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egcipmu
|
egckazn
| 1,550,018,303 | 1,550,019,568 | 9 | 12 |
Have you tried explaining to your boss that this didn't happen, and you have proof? Her soliciting you, and your denials create serious doubt as to her story. Keep that evidence, and make copies.
|
If you still have those text messages with her propositioning you or sending photos, save them — download them or screen cap them and give them to your lawyer.
| 0 | 1,265 | 1.333333 |
nyv648
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Insane neighbors. What can I do when they bang on purpose? The lady above me has absolutely no regard for me and my constant requests to be quiet. The hoa has a 10 pm to 7 am quiet rule but they disregard it. I rent, she owns. My landlord has tried. The hoa has talked with them. But tonight she took it to a while new level. It was 11:30 pm and they were being especially loud so for the first time I knocked on the ceiling. She responded by banging with what a sounded like a sledge hammer for 3 or 4 minutes then periodically until I called the police and they showed up. I made this video (posted in the comments) Can I take her to court? How can I get her to be quiet? I feel unsafe in my home.
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h1manvc
|
h1m9v53
| 1,623,590,116 | 1,623,589,589 | 225 | 17 |
banging on the wall isn't a legal issue. Likely the most you can do is have the landlord go through the hoa to enforce quiet rules but they don't have much outside possible fines. If she's breaking local noise ordinances you can call the police.
|
Your neighbor being noisy makes you feel “unsafe”? I’m not sure how noise making you feel unsafe would go in court. Is she threatening you when she’s loud?
| 1 | 527 | 13.235294 |
nyv648
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Insane neighbors. What can I do when they bang on purpose? The lady above me has absolutely no regard for me and my constant requests to be quiet. The hoa has a 10 pm to 7 am quiet rule but they disregard it. I rent, she owns. My landlord has tried. The hoa has talked with them. But tonight she took it to a while new level. It was 11:30 pm and they were being especially loud so for the first time I knocked on the ceiling. She responded by banging with what a sounded like a sledge hammer for 3 or 4 minutes then periodically until I called the police and they showed up. I made this video (posted in the comments) Can I take her to court? How can I get her to be quiet? I feel unsafe in my home.
|
h1n1bt9
|
h1m9v53
| 1,623,604,199 | 1,623,589,589 | 103 | 17 |
You could also work with your landlord to break the lease and move. I have noisy upstairs neighbors as well and have talked to them multiple times to no avail. It drives me insane. I will be moving when my lease ends. The house I'm in has basically no noise isolation between the floors and even from outside. Very annoying.
|
Your neighbor being noisy makes you feel “unsafe”? I’m not sure how noise making you feel unsafe would go in court. Is she threatening you when she’s loud?
| 1 | 14,610 | 6.058824 |
nyv648
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Insane neighbors. What can I do when they bang on purpose? The lady above me has absolutely no regard for me and my constant requests to be quiet. The hoa has a 10 pm to 7 am quiet rule but they disregard it. I rent, she owns. My landlord has tried. The hoa has talked with them. But tonight she took it to a while new level. It was 11:30 pm and they were being especially loud so for the first time I knocked on the ceiling. She responded by banging with what a sounded like a sledge hammer for 3 or 4 minutes then periodically until I called the police and they showed up. I made this video (posted in the comments) Can I take her to court? How can I get her to be quiet? I feel unsafe in my home.
|
h1m9v53
|
h1njwrz
| 1,623,589,589 | 1,623,613,274 | 17 | 37 |
Your neighbor being noisy makes you feel “unsafe”? I’m not sure how noise making you feel unsafe would go in court. Is she threatening you when she’s loud?
|
I think your most expedient solution it to get HOA to get mean. (As much as I hate the idea of HOA's, I cant believe this is coming out of my mouth) Your HOA should have the ability to fine this person for repeated violations of their rules. It seems like they are trying to hard to not make anyone mad instead of doing exactly the one thing that they are meant to do. After sharing the plan with your landlord so that he doesn't get surprised by something popping up, I would continue to document and record every time your neighbor violates the quiet hours policy and supply that information to the HOA. I would also take the time to make myself an expert on the HOA rules. After giving the HOA an overabundance of evidence in regards to the blatant violations of the quiet period, I would then be bending the ear of every board member to find out what actions have been taken to rectify the problem. Be persistent. If you have neighbors on either side of you, ask them if they are having noise problems with this unit as well. If there are units above or on either side of the problem, approach them about having noise problems. The more people with complaints, the better chance to get action taken. Good luck.
| 0 | 23,685 | 2.176471 |
mv29gg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.83 |
Denver, CO - Neighbor (shared wall) leaves dog who barks non stop for hours. Please help! It’s only when the neighbor is away from her apartment but this little dog barks and howls and yelps NON STOP the ENTIRE time she’s left alone. Sometimes it continues for over 6 hours straight. We can hear it crystal clear through our shared wall. I’ve talked with this neighbor multiple times and have been understanding and as kind and respectful as possible but it still continues and it’s affecting our quality of life when we are home. The landlord has not taken any action but knows about the situation. At this point I’m desperate. Is there anything we can do? Thank you in advance for any insight. Edit: Post needed a location but I couldn’t edit the title somehow so I apologize for the repost
|
gv9ci9s
|
gv9c78y
| 1,618,958,403 | 1,618,958,263 | 47 | 10 |
This can actually be enforced by the city. > Allowing your dog to bark excessively in the City and County of Denver is an ordinance violation of D.R.M.C. 8-17 and could result in a Violation Notice, a monetary fine, or a mandatory court summons. Please help your dog and your neighbors by not allowing excessive barking. https://www.denvergov.org/Government/Departments/Animal-Shelter/Animal-Protection/Barking-Dog-Complaints Audio record the barking every time it happens. That way you have hard evidence this is not an isolated incident. The link above includes ways to contact the appropriate authorities.
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Contact animal control. Record the dog sounds you can hear through your wall and while outside in your backyard.
| 1 | 140 | 4.7 |
c7fijy
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Crazy neighbor continues harassment by leaving house after plugging in air compressor touching shared wall We have had repeated run ins with the neighbor attached to our twin home. He has been arrested previously for trespassing onto our property and has a record of harassment. He has also been texting us using an anonymizing app so the police cannot say it is him that is harassing us. However, the newest method of harassment has him leaving an air compressor plugged in touching a shared wall and then leaving so every 5 minutes it starts up and vibrates the whole house. You can hear it very clearly in the opposite side of the house. He has it on a timer so it shuts off at 10pm and starts up again at 9am. Police have been out but when they call him, he just says he will be back at 9:55 pm to shut it off and hangs up on them. He never shows up, I think he just doesn't want to tell the police that it is on a timer. My question is, is there anything that we can do to stop this harassment? North Dakota
|
esfcrqg
|
esetfq0
| 1,561,922,831 | 1,561,909,056 | 37 | 25 |
Can you set up a video recorder pointed at a clock and record for several days to prove that he's doing this all day every day? Also install some security cameras to show that he isn't actually coming to turn it on and off himself. Also he is actively causing issues with you selling your house. You could probably sue him for damages. If you can get statements from people who've come to look at your house and say why they weren't interested. Get comparables for your property and how long on average they take to sell. You might have several cases.
|
Does the neighbor own the house? If he's a renter, find out who his landlord is.
| 1 | 13,775 | 1.48 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf8jn9e
|
hf9xzqn
| 1,633,276,011 | 1,633,296,649 | 2,724 | 2,889 |
I would not contact the officer. I would let the officer bury himself deeper by committing perjury when he goes to court against you as a witness. I would attempt to send that video up the chain — possibly to the chief of police, definitely to the prosecutor. In this sub we can’t recommend sending anything to the media, so I would advise against that. What the officer did is considered official misconduct and he should / will be reprimanded. This is the type of stuff that goes on his official record and ruins his credibility as a witness in past and future cases. You need to understand that cops most likely will protect cops, especially if this guy has rank. But if the captain is fair and wants to save ass, he will be forced to act. A prosecutor probably would be quite dismayed to see that the officer lied on the official report. Additionally, you might also want to speak to an attorney to see if you might have a lawsuit against the department.
|
Do not contact the officer. You already know he is not trustworthy so trying to work with him will probably not work out very well. I would get a good attorney and go from there.
| 0 | 20,638 | 1.060573 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf936o3
|
hf9xzqn
| 1,633,284,185 | 1,633,296,649 | 664 | 2,889 |
Make sure you speak to a personal injury lawyer as well, they are going to have a field day with this. Do not contact that cop directly. Go to court and bring the evidence with you. If you have the ability to seek legal advice for the court date do it ASAP
|
Do not contact the officer. You already know he is not trustworthy so trying to work with him will probably not work out very well. I would get a good attorney and go from there.
| 0 | 12,464 | 4.350904 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf93x1x
|
hf9xzqn
| 1,633,284,474 | 1,633,296,649 | 467 | 2,889 |
Copy the footage immediately, several times and on several devices. Always have multiple backups.
|
Do not contact the officer. You already know he is not trustworthy so trying to work with him will probably not work out very well. I would get a good attorney and go from there.
| 0 | 12,175 | 6.186296 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf9phqj
|
hf9xzqn
| 1,633,293,114 | 1,633,296,649 | 114 | 2,889 |
I’d speak to a few different laywers on this. Be sure to show them the footage. And be safe because pain later on down the road is possible. I found out a year after my car accident I had fibromyalgia and that’s why my back is always in pain. I had a good lawyer who got me a great settlement and a check for another car since mine was totaled. I was hit from behind. You need a lawyer ASAP. Interview them. They are there for a reason.
|
Do not contact the officer. You already know he is not trustworthy so trying to work with him will probably not work out very well. I would get a good attorney and go from there.
| 0 | 3,535 | 25.342105 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf9pcze
|
hf9xzqn
| 1,633,293,061 | 1,633,296,649 | 91 | 2,889 |
With that footage your new job is suing this department / county / city. Pay day. Possibly retirement. Get a very good lawyer.
|
Do not contact the officer. You already know he is not trustworthy so trying to work with him will probably not work out very well. I would get a good attorney and go from there.
| 0 | 3,588 | 31.747253 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfa3kd8
|
hf936o3
| 1,633,299,052 | 1,633,284,185 | 1,243 | 664 |
I agree with everyone. Don't contact officer. This kinda situation happened to one my friends years ago. He didn't have a dash cam. I'd let the cop perjure himself. I think the judge would be pissed once he does that. Ianal though so please seek advice from someone that has it
|
Make sure you speak to a personal injury lawyer as well, they are going to have a field day with this. Do not contact that cop directly. Go to court and bring the evidence with you. If you have the ability to seek legal advice for the court date do it ASAP
| 1 | 14,867 | 1.871988 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfa3kd8
|
hf93x1x
| 1,633,299,052 | 1,633,284,474 | 1,243 | 467 |
I agree with everyone. Don't contact officer. This kinda situation happened to one my friends years ago. He didn't have a dash cam. I'd let the cop perjure himself. I think the judge would be pissed once he does that. Ianal though so please seek advice from someone that has it
|
Copy the footage immediately, several times and on several devices. Always have multiple backups.
| 1 | 14,578 | 2.66167 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfa3kd8
|
hf9phqj
| 1,633,299,052 | 1,633,293,114 | 1,243 | 114 |
I agree with everyone. Don't contact officer. This kinda situation happened to one my friends years ago. He didn't have a dash cam. I'd let the cop perjure himself. I think the judge would be pissed once he does that. Ianal though so please seek advice from someone that has it
|
I’d speak to a few different laywers on this. Be sure to show them the footage. And be safe because pain later on down the road is possible. I found out a year after my car accident I had fibromyalgia and that’s why my back is always in pain. I had a good lawyer who got me a great settlement and a check for another car since mine was totaled. I was hit from behind. You need a lawyer ASAP. Interview them. They are there for a reason.
| 1 | 5,938 | 10.903509 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf9pcze
|
hfa3kd8
| 1,633,293,061 | 1,633,299,052 | 91 | 1,243 |
With that footage your new job is suing this department / county / city. Pay day. Possibly retirement. Get a very good lawyer.
|
I agree with everyone. Don't contact officer. This kinda situation happened to one my friends years ago. He didn't have a dash cam. I'd let the cop perjure himself. I think the judge would be pissed once he does that. Ianal though so please seek advice from someone that has it
| 0 | 5,991 | 13.659341 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfa2d5w
|
hfa3kd8
| 1,633,298,537 | 1,633,299,052 | 78 | 1,243 |
Never talk to the cops. Also lawyer up and tou might have a good case against the police department as well.
|
I agree with everyone. Don't contact officer. This kinda situation happened to one my friends years ago. He didn't have a dash cam. I'd let the cop perjure himself. I think the judge would be pissed once he does that. Ianal though so please seek advice from someone that has it
| 0 | 515 | 15.935897 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfafrk4
|
hf936o3
| 1,633,304,645 | 1,633,284,185 | 793 | 664 |
Do not handle this yourself. ***Get an attorney who has a good track record against the other driver's insurance ASAP, DO NOT MAKE A STATEMENT TO THE OTHER DRIVER'S INSURANCE, and have your attorney file a claim with his insurance.*** There are plenty of attorneys who take cases in which material facts regarding an accident were either missing or were incorrect. Some thoughts: Do not contact the other party. This is now a legal proceeding as far as you are concerned. Keep all communications between your lawyer and the other driver's counsel or insurance company. Insurance companies (his in this case) are not in the business of righting wrongs or making you whole again. They are in the business of making money. ***The other driver's insurance knows (or thinks they know) what happened. They have the accident report. They don't need any additional information from you, and anything that you say to them that give the appearance that you were negligent can be used to undermine your case. You have an attorney, let them handle the communications. Would you go to a deposition without an attorney? Why then would you take a phone call from the other driver's insurance and make a statement to them without counsel present?*** You want to have any damage to your vehicle covered by the other driver's insurance. Their company will almost always low-ball you if your vehicle has to be replaced or has extensive damage, unless you represent an economic threat to their company and have the ability to extract resources from them in court. Insurance companies spend a lot of time and money analyzing accidents, the location, the type and cause of accident, the extent of the injuries, make, model, and year of the car, and they use that data to determine what a proper payout will be. It's almost always lower than that you want. Having a good attorney means that the insurance company is presented with the possible threat of such an outrageous set of facts and the danger that those facts will make it in front of a jury. If your account of the events is correct, these are terrible facts to have to present before the court or a jury. A good attorney can also explore the possibility of suing the officer or their department for falsifying an accident report. Though it's rare, cops can be prosecuted or sued for falsifying those reports. TL;DR: You are in over your head, get some assistance from a good law office who has handled these cases before.
|
Make sure you speak to a personal injury lawyer as well, they are going to have a field day with this. Do not contact that cop directly. Go to court and bring the evidence with you. If you have the ability to seek legal advice for the court date do it ASAP
| 1 | 20,460 | 1.194277 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf93x1x
|
hfafrk4
| 1,633,284,474 | 1,633,304,645 | 467 | 793 |
Copy the footage immediately, several times and on several devices. Always have multiple backups.
|
Do not handle this yourself. ***Get an attorney who has a good track record against the other driver's insurance ASAP, DO NOT MAKE A STATEMENT TO THE OTHER DRIVER'S INSURANCE, and have your attorney file a claim with his insurance.*** There are plenty of attorneys who take cases in which material facts regarding an accident were either missing or were incorrect. Some thoughts: Do not contact the other party. This is now a legal proceeding as far as you are concerned. Keep all communications between your lawyer and the other driver's counsel or insurance company. Insurance companies (his in this case) are not in the business of righting wrongs or making you whole again. They are in the business of making money. ***The other driver's insurance knows (or thinks they know) what happened. They have the accident report. They don't need any additional information from you, and anything that you say to them that give the appearance that you were negligent can be used to undermine your case. You have an attorney, let them handle the communications. Would you go to a deposition without an attorney? Why then would you take a phone call from the other driver's insurance and make a statement to them without counsel present?*** You want to have any damage to your vehicle covered by the other driver's insurance. Their company will almost always low-ball you if your vehicle has to be replaced or has extensive damage, unless you represent an economic threat to their company and have the ability to extract resources from them in court. Insurance companies spend a lot of time and money analyzing accidents, the location, the type and cause of accident, the extent of the injuries, make, model, and year of the car, and they use that data to determine what a proper payout will be. It's almost always lower than that you want. Having a good attorney means that the insurance company is presented with the possible threat of such an outrageous set of facts and the danger that those facts will make it in front of a jury. If your account of the events is correct, these are terrible facts to have to present before the court or a jury. A good attorney can also explore the possibility of suing the officer or their department for falsifying an accident report. Though it's rare, cops can be prosecuted or sued for falsifying those reports. TL;DR: You are in over your head, get some assistance from a good law office who has handled these cases before.
| 0 | 20,171 | 1.698073 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfafrk4
|
hfaeb5r
| 1,633,304,645 | 1,633,303,922 | 793 | 376 |
Do not handle this yourself. ***Get an attorney who has a good track record against the other driver's insurance ASAP, DO NOT MAKE A STATEMENT TO THE OTHER DRIVER'S INSURANCE, and have your attorney file a claim with his insurance.*** There are plenty of attorneys who take cases in which material facts regarding an accident were either missing or were incorrect. Some thoughts: Do not contact the other party. This is now a legal proceeding as far as you are concerned. Keep all communications between your lawyer and the other driver's counsel or insurance company. Insurance companies (his in this case) are not in the business of righting wrongs or making you whole again. They are in the business of making money. ***The other driver's insurance knows (or thinks they know) what happened. They have the accident report. They don't need any additional information from you, and anything that you say to them that give the appearance that you were negligent can be used to undermine your case. You have an attorney, let them handle the communications. Would you go to a deposition without an attorney? Why then would you take a phone call from the other driver's insurance and make a statement to them without counsel present?*** You want to have any damage to your vehicle covered by the other driver's insurance. Their company will almost always low-ball you if your vehicle has to be replaced or has extensive damage, unless you represent an economic threat to their company and have the ability to extract resources from them in court. Insurance companies spend a lot of time and money analyzing accidents, the location, the type and cause of accident, the extent of the injuries, make, model, and year of the car, and they use that data to determine what a proper payout will be. It's almost always lower than that you want. Having a good attorney means that the insurance company is presented with the possible threat of such an outrageous set of facts and the danger that those facts will make it in front of a jury. If your account of the events is correct, these are terrible facts to have to present before the court or a jury. A good attorney can also explore the possibility of suing the officer or their department for falsifying an accident report. Though it's rare, cops can be prosecuted or sued for falsifying those reports. TL;DR: You are in over your head, get some assistance from a good law office who has handled these cases before.
|
You are lucky to have video evidence. Incidents like these happen everyday but the average driver doesn’t have video proof. As stated by some other redditors, make sure you have backups of the video.
| 1 | 723 | 2.109043 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf9phqj
|
hfafrk4
| 1,633,293,114 | 1,633,304,645 | 114 | 793 |
I’d speak to a few different laywers on this. Be sure to show them the footage. And be safe because pain later on down the road is possible. I found out a year after my car accident I had fibromyalgia and that’s why my back is always in pain. I had a good lawyer who got me a great settlement and a check for another car since mine was totaled. I was hit from behind. You need a lawyer ASAP. Interview them. They are there for a reason.
|
Do not handle this yourself. ***Get an attorney who has a good track record against the other driver's insurance ASAP, DO NOT MAKE A STATEMENT TO THE OTHER DRIVER'S INSURANCE, and have your attorney file a claim with his insurance.*** There are plenty of attorneys who take cases in which material facts regarding an accident were either missing or were incorrect. Some thoughts: Do not contact the other party. This is now a legal proceeding as far as you are concerned. Keep all communications between your lawyer and the other driver's counsel or insurance company. Insurance companies (his in this case) are not in the business of righting wrongs or making you whole again. They are in the business of making money. ***The other driver's insurance knows (or thinks they know) what happened. They have the accident report. They don't need any additional information from you, and anything that you say to them that give the appearance that you were negligent can be used to undermine your case. You have an attorney, let them handle the communications. Would you go to a deposition without an attorney? Why then would you take a phone call from the other driver's insurance and make a statement to them without counsel present?*** You want to have any damage to your vehicle covered by the other driver's insurance. Their company will almost always low-ball you if your vehicle has to be replaced or has extensive damage, unless you represent an economic threat to their company and have the ability to extract resources from them in court. Insurance companies spend a lot of time and money analyzing accidents, the location, the type and cause of accident, the extent of the injuries, make, model, and year of the car, and they use that data to determine what a proper payout will be. It's almost always lower than that you want. Having a good attorney means that the insurance company is presented with the possible threat of such an outrageous set of facts and the danger that those facts will make it in front of a jury. If your account of the events is correct, these are terrible facts to have to present before the court or a jury. A good attorney can also explore the possibility of suing the officer or their department for falsifying an accident report. Though it's rare, cops can be prosecuted or sued for falsifying those reports. TL;DR: You are in over your head, get some assistance from a good law office who has handled these cases before.
| 0 | 11,531 | 6.95614 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfab9jl
|
hfafrk4
| 1,633,302,480 | 1,633,304,645 | 95 | 793 |
Do not amend the report and allow these two to carry on with their good ole boy system. Being an officer is being held to a higher standard and upholding the law fairly. Seek council and get a lawyer besides the car crash pretty sure the local pd can be held responsible.
|
Do not handle this yourself. ***Get an attorney who has a good track record against the other driver's insurance ASAP, DO NOT MAKE A STATEMENT TO THE OTHER DRIVER'S INSURANCE, and have your attorney file a claim with his insurance.*** There are plenty of attorneys who take cases in which material facts regarding an accident were either missing or were incorrect. Some thoughts: Do not contact the other party. This is now a legal proceeding as far as you are concerned. Keep all communications between your lawyer and the other driver's counsel or insurance company. Insurance companies (his in this case) are not in the business of righting wrongs or making you whole again. They are in the business of making money. ***The other driver's insurance knows (or thinks they know) what happened. They have the accident report. They don't need any additional information from you, and anything that you say to them that give the appearance that you were negligent can be used to undermine your case. You have an attorney, let them handle the communications. Would you go to a deposition without an attorney? Why then would you take a phone call from the other driver's insurance and make a statement to them without counsel present?*** You want to have any damage to your vehicle covered by the other driver's insurance. Their company will almost always low-ball you if your vehicle has to be replaced or has extensive damage, unless you represent an economic threat to their company and have the ability to extract resources from them in court. Insurance companies spend a lot of time and money analyzing accidents, the location, the type and cause of accident, the extent of the injuries, make, model, and year of the car, and they use that data to determine what a proper payout will be. It's almost always lower than that you want. Having a good attorney means that the insurance company is presented with the possible threat of such an outrageous set of facts and the danger that those facts will make it in front of a jury. If your account of the events is correct, these are terrible facts to have to present before the court or a jury. A good attorney can also explore the possibility of suing the officer or their department for falsifying an accident report. Though it's rare, cops can be prosecuted or sued for falsifying those reports. TL;DR: You are in over your head, get some assistance from a good law office who has handled these cases before.
| 0 | 2,165 | 8.347368 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf9pcze
|
hfafrk4
| 1,633,293,061 | 1,633,304,645 | 91 | 793 |
With that footage your new job is suing this department / county / city. Pay day. Possibly retirement. Get a very good lawyer.
|
Do not handle this yourself. ***Get an attorney who has a good track record against the other driver's insurance ASAP, DO NOT MAKE A STATEMENT TO THE OTHER DRIVER'S INSURANCE, and have your attorney file a claim with his insurance.*** There are plenty of attorneys who take cases in which material facts regarding an accident were either missing or were incorrect. Some thoughts: Do not contact the other party. This is now a legal proceeding as far as you are concerned. Keep all communications between your lawyer and the other driver's counsel or insurance company. Insurance companies (his in this case) are not in the business of righting wrongs or making you whole again. They are in the business of making money. ***The other driver's insurance knows (or thinks they know) what happened. They have the accident report. They don't need any additional information from you, and anything that you say to them that give the appearance that you were negligent can be used to undermine your case. You have an attorney, let them handle the communications. Would you go to a deposition without an attorney? Why then would you take a phone call from the other driver's insurance and make a statement to them without counsel present?*** You want to have any damage to your vehicle covered by the other driver's insurance. Their company will almost always low-ball you if your vehicle has to be replaced or has extensive damage, unless you represent an economic threat to their company and have the ability to extract resources from them in court. Insurance companies spend a lot of time and money analyzing accidents, the location, the type and cause of accident, the extent of the injuries, make, model, and year of the car, and they use that data to determine what a proper payout will be. It's almost always lower than that you want. Having a good attorney means that the insurance company is presented with the possible threat of such an outrageous set of facts and the danger that those facts will make it in front of a jury. If your account of the events is correct, these are terrible facts to have to present before the court or a jury. A good attorney can also explore the possibility of suing the officer or their department for falsifying an accident report. Though it's rare, cops can be prosecuted or sued for falsifying those reports. TL;DR: You are in over your head, get some assistance from a good law office who has handled these cases before.
| 0 | 11,584 | 8.714286 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfafrk4
|
hfa2d5w
| 1,633,304,645 | 1,633,298,537 | 793 | 78 |
Do not handle this yourself. ***Get an attorney who has a good track record against the other driver's insurance ASAP, DO NOT MAKE A STATEMENT TO THE OTHER DRIVER'S INSURANCE, and have your attorney file a claim with his insurance.*** There are plenty of attorneys who take cases in which material facts regarding an accident were either missing or were incorrect. Some thoughts: Do not contact the other party. This is now a legal proceeding as far as you are concerned. Keep all communications between your lawyer and the other driver's counsel or insurance company. Insurance companies (his in this case) are not in the business of righting wrongs or making you whole again. They are in the business of making money. ***The other driver's insurance knows (or thinks they know) what happened. They have the accident report. They don't need any additional information from you, and anything that you say to them that give the appearance that you were negligent can be used to undermine your case. You have an attorney, let them handle the communications. Would you go to a deposition without an attorney? Why then would you take a phone call from the other driver's insurance and make a statement to them without counsel present?*** You want to have any damage to your vehicle covered by the other driver's insurance. Their company will almost always low-ball you if your vehicle has to be replaced or has extensive damage, unless you represent an economic threat to their company and have the ability to extract resources from them in court. Insurance companies spend a lot of time and money analyzing accidents, the location, the type and cause of accident, the extent of the injuries, make, model, and year of the car, and they use that data to determine what a proper payout will be. It's almost always lower than that you want. Having a good attorney means that the insurance company is presented with the possible threat of such an outrageous set of facts and the danger that those facts will make it in front of a jury. If your account of the events is correct, these are terrible facts to have to present before the court or a jury. A good attorney can also explore the possibility of suing the officer or their department for falsifying an accident report. Though it's rare, cops can be prosecuted or sued for falsifying those reports. TL;DR: You are in over your head, get some assistance from a good law office who has handled these cases before.
|
Never talk to the cops. Also lawyer up and tou might have a good case against the police department as well.
| 1 | 6,108 | 10.166667 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfaeb5r
|
hf9phqj
| 1,633,303,922 | 1,633,293,114 | 376 | 114 |
You are lucky to have video evidence. Incidents like these happen everyday but the average driver doesn’t have video proof. As stated by some other redditors, make sure you have backups of the video.
|
I’d speak to a few different laywers on this. Be sure to show them the footage. And be safe because pain later on down the road is possible. I found out a year after my car accident I had fibromyalgia and that’s why my back is always in pain. I had a good lawyer who got me a great settlement and a check for another car since mine was totaled. I was hit from behind. You need a lawyer ASAP. Interview them. They are there for a reason.
| 1 | 10,808 | 3.298246 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfaeb5r
|
hfab9jl
| 1,633,303,922 | 1,633,302,480 | 376 | 95 |
You are lucky to have video evidence. Incidents like these happen everyday but the average driver doesn’t have video proof. As stated by some other redditors, make sure you have backups of the video.
|
Do not amend the report and allow these two to carry on with their good ole boy system. Being an officer is being held to a higher standard and upholding the law fairly. Seek council and get a lawyer besides the car crash pretty sure the local pd can be held responsible.
| 1 | 1,442 | 3.957895 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfaeb5r
|
hf9pcze
| 1,633,303,922 | 1,633,293,061 | 376 | 91 |
You are lucky to have video evidence. Incidents like these happen everyday but the average driver doesn’t have video proof. As stated by some other redditors, make sure you have backups of the video.
|
With that footage your new job is suing this department / county / city. Pay day. Possibly retirement. Get a very good lawyer.
| 1 | 10,861 | 4.131868 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfaeb5r
|
hfa2d5w
| 1,633,303,922 | 1,633,298,537 | 376 | 78 |
You are lucky to have video evidence. Incidents like these happen everyday but the average driver doesn’t have video proof. As stated by some other redditors, make sure you have backups of the video.
|
Never talk to the cops. Also lawyer up and tou might have a good case against the police department as well.
| 1 | 5,385 | 4.820513 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf9phqj
|
hf9pcze
| 1,633,293,114 | 1,633,293,061 | 114 | 91 |
I’d speak to a few different laywers on this. Be sure to show them the footage. And be safe because pain later on down the road is possible. I found out a year after my car accident I had fibromyalgia and that’s why my back is always in pain. I had a good lawyer who got me a great settlement and a check for another car since mine was totaled. I was hit from behind. You need a lawyer ASAP. Interview them. They are there for a reason.
|
With that footage your new job is suing this department / county / city. Pay day. Possibly retirement. Get a very good lawyer.
| 1 | 53 | 1.252747 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hf9pcze
|
hfab9jl
| 1,633,293,061 | 1,633,302,480 | 91 | 95 |
With that footage your new job is suing this department / county / city. Pay day. Possibly retirement. Get a very good lawyer.
|
Do not amend the report and allow these two to carry on with their good ole boy system. Being an officer is being held to a higher standard and upholding the law fairly. Seek council and get a lawyer besides the car crash pretty sure the local pd can be held responsible.
| 0 | 9,419 | 1.043956 |
q0k4yj
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.99 |
New York - Involved in a car accident. Cop and responsible party are friends. I was the only car stopped at a red light making a left-hand turn. The light turned green, and I had a green arrow. I started turning, the car directly across the intersection blew the red and t-boned me. I saw him pick up his cell phone. He refused to get out of the car or acknowledge me. A few moments later, a police officer arrived. The other guy jumped out of his car, shook the officer's hand, and said, "Thanks for coming, Dave." The officer took his statement, and didn't say a word to me other than to ask me for my insurance card. He went back to his patrol car, walked over to me, and handed me a summons. He said, "You're receiving a citation for failure to yield. You can pick up the police report in 3-5 business days at the police station." When I informed him that I had a green arrow and the other vehicle had, in fact, gone through a red light, he chuckled and said, "The other driver is a Captain on our fire department. He's driven our engine safely through more intersections than you've ever seen. I don't want to hear it." I replied, "But I have..." He put his hand up in my face and said, "You're not getting out of this by lying to me. You can attempt to contest your citation in court. I'll see you there." I picked up the police report and it says that the opposing driver had a green light as he approached the intersection. As he entered the intersection, I drove into the intersection at a high rate of speed turning left without yielding, impeding the other driver's path and causing the collision. It says that when I questioned I did not dispute the other driver's account of the accident and was issued a summons. What I was trying to tell the officer was that I have a dashcam that captured the entire accident. I rolled my windows down as soon as it happened so the audio is fairly clear. It shows us both stopped at the intersection, me entering the intersection with a green arrow, the other driver gunning it into the intersection (it doesn't capture the crash as it was from the side), me getting out and attempting to talk to the other driver, audio of the other driver calling the officer Dave, video of me giving the officer my insurance card, and then video of him handing me the summons and refusing to listen to my side. The other driver has already filled a claim against my insurance. When they called and asked me what happened, I told them the truth and that I have the whole thing on video. They are not paying his claim pending an investigation. I have court at the end of this month. Should I try to contact the officer ahead of time to see if we can amend the report? I don't want to put a target on my back, and I feel like that's exactly what I'd be doing if I go into court and embarrass the officer by demonstrating that he lied. I am not trying to be nice here, I just really don't want every cop and firefighter in town to hate me. Cops stick together, and I don't want to get pulled over every time I leave my home. I have not yet filed with the others party's insurance and I have not provided them the video. Only I and my insurance have a copy (I have several in both digital and physical medium).
|
hfa2d5w
|
hfab9jl
| 1,633,298,537 | 1,633,302,480 | 78 | 95 |
Never talk to the cops. Also lawyer up and tou might have a good case against the police department as well.
|
Do not amend the report and allow these two to carry on with their good ole boy system. Being an officer is being held to a higher standard and upholding the law fairly. Seek council and get a lawyer besides the car crash pretty sure the local pd can be held responsible.
| 0 | 3,943 | 1.217949 |
th7wcr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My mom and step dad died. My mom and step dad died. The house they are living in is owned by a trust from my bio dad. I am the beneficiary of the trust. My question is my step dads personal things in the home. What do I need to do? Does it go back to his family? I am ok with that I just don’t want the home destroyed or my moms things taken. I do see this happening if I just let them in. What is the best way to do this? There is no will that I know of. I don’t know if that matters.
|
i16ftxn
|
i1748nn
| 1,647,624,796 | 1,647,634,604 | 10 | 12 |
Get a probate attorney involved
|
OP, gather all of the things you believe belong to your stepdad. Put them in the living room. Take pictures. Send them to his family and invite them to pick them up or offer to have them shipped. Do not let them walk around the house. In all fairness, half of the value of all personal property in the house probably belongs to them as well, e.g., the sofa, bed, etc. Be flexible with his family. If they want the sofa, let them have it. If you want it, pay them half the fair market value. Just resolve these issues and move on with your life. As they say, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
| 0 | 9,808 | 1.2 |
ghfr75
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My step dad just died, my mother took care of him for years. His grown kids never visited. Now they’re kicking my mom out of their shared home in less than two weeks?! Please, forgive typing and format issues as I’m so hurt and sick right now. Step dad left estate in NV, to youngest daughter and son. Begged them on his death bed to take care of my mom. My mother and him didn’t get married but they were together over 15 years. With the last few having my mother split time helping me, due to chronic illness, and him with his heart failure. It's been hard but we did it as a family. She was told after he died that they couldn’t sell the house for at least a year. Now this weekend the daughter went into the home, ransacked through stuff without my mother there, and took a bunch of stuff. Not only ruining mom's self quarantine, as our state isn’t open yet, but also throwing things of my mother’s into trash bags with trash. After my mom carefully packed up photos and comic books they wanted. Today they called together and informed her she needs to be packed up and out by the 21st. They have to renovate and sell now. They were very cruel with the way they spoke to my mother who’s still reeling from the loss. I know everyone grieves differently but it’s hard to see their grief when they barely spoke to their father for years. Now that there’s money on the line and a way to have power they are the most involved people. I just feel this is so wrong and want to know what, if anything, her rights are in this situation? She’s being left a used car and a little bit of money, we were informed she could use to rent storage for her stuff. But the rush just seems so wrong. Thanks for any info.
|
fq9xcqe
|
fqa8b6d
| 1,589,208,886 | 1,589,214,597 | 5 | 15 |
> Step dad left estate in NV, to youngest daughter and son. Begged them on his death bed to take care of my mom. Yet another lesson why a will was so important. And this issue never came up while your step dad was alive? No will? No trust fund? Nothing put into your mother's name?
|
I am not a lawyer: Get a copy of the will and or trust. Have your mom file a police report for what happened to your mother's stuff. Install cameras (affordable and easy to do these days). Have your mom retain a lawyer. NV has domestic partnership laws that recognizes long-term, unmarried couples as equal to married couples in rights. She's likely entitled to the house and the step-kids are hoping she doesn't know or act on it.
| 0 | 5,711 | 3 |
ghfr75
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My step dad just died, my mother took care of him for years. His grown kids never visited. Now they’re kicking my mom out of their shared home in less than two weeks?! Please, forgive typing and format issues as I’m so hurt and sick right now. Step dad left estate in NV, to youngest daughter and son. Begged them on his death bed to take care of my mom. My mother and him didn’t get married but they were together over 15 years. With the last few having my mother split time helping me, due to chronic illness, and him with his heart failure. It's been hard but we did it as a family. She was told after he died that they couldn’t sell the house for at least a year. Now this weekend the daughter went into the home, ransacked through stuff without my mother there, and took a bunch of stuff. Not only ruining mom's self quarantine, as our state isn’t open yet, but also throwing things of my mother’s into trash bags with trash. After my mom carefully packed up photos and comic books they wanted. Today they called together and informed her she needs to be packed up and out by the 21st. They have to renovate and sell now. They were very cruel with the way they spoke to my mother who’s still reeling from the loss. I know everyone grieves differently but it’s hard to see their grief when they barely spoke to their father for years. Now that there’s money on the line and a way to have power they are the most involved people. I just feel this is so wrong and want to know what, if anything, her rights are in this situation? She’s being left a used car and a little bit of money, we were informed she could use to rent storage for her stuff. But the rush just seems so wrong. Thanks for any info.
|
fqa8b6d
|
fqa1wb9
| 1,589,214,597 | 1,589,211,327 | 15 | 5 |
I am not a lawyer: Get a copy of the will and or trust. Have your mom file a police report for what happened to your mother's stuff. Install cameras (affordable and easy to do these days). Have your mom retain a lawyer. NV has domestic partnership laws that recognizes long-term, unmarried couples as equal to married couples in rights. She's likely entitled to the house and the step-kids are hoping she doesn't know or act on it.
|
You should check your state to see if they have and what their definition is for Common law marriages. Your mom and stepdad might have technically been married.
| 1 | 3,270 | 3 |
mqxbjb
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[New York] Involved in a car accident years ago, sued their insurance and won... now I am being sued As the title states, in 2018 I was involved in a car accident where a woman cut into oncoming traffic to go into a parking lot instead of yielding. I suffered a lower back injury and my car was totaled as a result of the accident. Because New York is a no fault state, she was deemed 80-90% liable which is insane in itself because I could not brake in enough time but I contacted an attorney and sued her insurance. Almost three years later now she is suing me for the same thing. I contacted my insurance agency and they are aware and said I shouldn’t be worried but sounded shaky in her voice saying that. Saying 90% or so of cases settle outside of court. She also told me her injury wasn’t over my protection limit. If it doesn’t settle do I have to worry about anything? Apparently my insurance could raise as well for an accident almost three years ago that I did NOT cause. I’m stressed and at a loss for words.
|
guir36j
|
guippjx
| 1,618,427,396 | 1,618,426,791 | 18 | 10 |
This is what you pay your insurance for. Let them deal with it; your job is to answer any questions they have for you promptly, and they'll do all the work.
|
I suggest /r/insurance for advice from insurance pros
| 1 | 605 | 1.8 |
mqxbjb
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[New York] Involved in a car accident years ago, sued their insurance and won... now I am being sued As the title states, in 2018 I was involved in a car accident where a woman cut into oncoming traffic to go into a parking lot instead of yielding. I suffered a lower back injury and my car was totaled as a result of the accident. Because New York is a no fault state, she was deemed 80-90% liable which is insane in itself because I could not brake in enough time but I contacted an attorney and sued her insurance. Almost three years later now she is suing me for the same thing. I contacted my insurance agency and they are aware and said I shouldn’t be worried but sounded shaky in her voice saying that. Saying 90% or so of cases settle outside of court. She also told me her injury wasn’t over my protection limit. If it doesn’t settle do I have to worry about anything? Apparently my insurance could raise as well for an accident almost three years ago that I did NOT cause. I’m stressed and at a loss for words.
|
guiqkhx
|
guir36j
| 1,618,427,167 | 1,618,427,396 | 11 | 18 |
Try not to stress. Let your insurance company handle it.
|
This is what you pay your insurance for. Let them deal with it; your job is to answer any questions they have for you promptly, and they'll do all the work.
| 0 | 229 | 1.636364 |
mqxbjb
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[New York] Involved in a car accident years ago, sued their insurance and won... now I am being sued As the title states, in 2018 I was involved in a car accident where a woman cut into oncoming traffic to go into a parking lot instead of yielding. I suffered a lower back injury and my car was totaled as a result of the accident. Because New York is a no fault state, she was deemed 80-90% liable which is insane in itself because I could not brake in enough time but I contacted an attorney and sued her insurance. Almost three years later now she is suing me for the same thing. I contacted my insurance agency and they are aware and said I shouldn’t be worried but sounded shaky in her voice saying that. Saying 90% or so of cases settle outside of court. She also told me her injury wasn’t over my protection limit. If it doesn’t settle do I have to worry about anything? Apparently my insurance could raise as well for an accident almost three years ago that I did NOT cause. I’m stressed and at a loss for words.
|
guiqkhx
|
guippjx
| 1,618,427,167 | 1,618,426,791 | 11 | 10 |
Try not to stress. Let your insurance company handle it.
|
I suggest /r/insurance for advice from insurance pros
| 1 | 376 | 1.1 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pdfwd
|
i2p325z
| 1,648,641,662 | 1,648,634,473 | 792 | 323 |
Tell the GAL (in addition to keeping your logs and telling your lawyer of course). The GAL is there to report to the judge about your daughter’s best interests. She should be informed of these burgeoning accusations and especially your wife’s refusal to bring your daughter to the doctor about it. A good GAL has seen this kind of thing before, either in her cases or her training, and it will greatly factor into the recommendations. Good luck!
|
Remember that ohio is also a one party consent state. So if youre not keeping a video/audio record of every in person/ phone call, start doing so. She might very well be doing this already. And make sure you get a flash drive with a high capacity to save the recordings to and give them to your lawyer. Every time you see him/her. So long as they are time/date stamped they can keep them as evidence to use for you if you turn them over regularly so there is a clear chain of evidence. And never get upset. Never lose your cool no matter what she throws at you. So long as you maintain composure and respectability, the court will look more favorable on you. Also, as much as it might suck, enter into some parenting classes. Especially any that are provided by licenced medical professionals. And ask for advice and tips often. The more you lay the ground work as a caring parent with someone whos job is teaching how to parent, the better it looks if you need to get witnesses to testify on your behalf. Good luck though, Ohio is not the best for seeing any side but mommys
| 1 | 7,189 | 2.452012 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pdfwd
|
i2p01hz
| 1,648,641,662 | 1,648,631,855 | 792 | 4 |
Tell the GAL (in addition to keeping your logs and telling your lawyer of course). The GAL is there to report to the judge about your daughter’s best interests. She should be informed of these burgeoning accusations and especially your wife’s refusal to bring your daughter to the doctor about it. A good GAL has seen this kind of thing before, either in her cases or her training, and it will greatly factor into the recommendations. Good luck!
|
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
| 1 | 9,807 | 198 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2p325z
|
i2plg8w
| 1,648,634,473 | 1,648,645,876 | 323 | 395 |
Remember that ohio is also a one party consent state. So if youre not keeping a video/audio record of every in person/ phone call, start doing so. She might very well be doing this already. And make sure you get a flash drive with a high capacity to save the recordings to and give them to your lawyer. Every time you see him/her. So long as they are time/date stamped they can keep them as evidence to use for you if you turn them over regularly so there is a clear chain of evidence. And never get upset. Never lose your cool no matter what she throws at you. So long as you maintain composure and respectability, the court will look more favorable on you. Also, as much as it might suck, enter into some parenting classes. Especially any that are provided by licenced medical professionals. And ask for advice and tips often. The more you lay the ground work as a caring parent with someone whos job is teaching how to parent, the better it looks if you need to get witnesses to testify on your behalf. Good luck though, Ohio is not the best for seeing any side but mommys
|
I know your scenario is more likely what's going on but ask your ex-wife if she is using bubble bath during bath time. It's possible your daughter's allergic to it. I have the same issue and that is one of the first areas to react. Either way the refusal to go to a Dr is going to look really bad for her. Obviously don't forget to tell your lawyer all of this ASAP.
| 0 | 11,403 | 1.22291 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pgc41
|
i2plg8w
| 1,648,643,281 | 1,648,645,876 | 50 | 395 |
You need the best lawyer you can get from the biggest firm around. It will be expensive, but there's a joke that's relevant to your situation, "Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it." This is going to be a war. Do you have a lawyer? Keep dated logs. Limit communication to only regarding co-parenting and document everything. It sounds like she is recording you. I would discuss this with your lawyer, but they may suggest a preemptive doctor's visit may be the best course of action. It may not. It may be best to take her straight to an ER right when you get her, because currently you have a mother complaining about odd behavior when she is not in your care, and the mother is not getting medical care. You need a great shark of a lawyer and you need to ask them. I would get yourself in therapy or counseling, whether you think you need it or not. This is groundwork to look good in court. Again, consult a lawyer. Keep in mind, parents who falsify or call in false sexual abuse deserve to be in the deepest layer of hell. If this gets down the road or she pulls this as the child gets older, the examinations that may be required essentially violate the child, and certainly damage their innocence and views of their parents. It's horrible, it's definitely a nuclear strategy that does not care about the child. This is going to be a contentious, awful divorce. Do everything your lawyer says and fight like hell.
|
I know your scenario is more likely what's going on but ask your ex-wife if she is using bubble bath during bath time. It's possible your daughter's allergic to it. I have the same issue and that is one of the first areas to react. Either way the refusal to go to a Dr is going to look really bad for her. Obviously don't forget to tell your lawyer all of this ASAP.
| 0 | 2,595 | 7.9 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2phf18
|
i2plg8w
| 1,648,643,854 | 1,648,645,876 | 7 | 395 |
Not a lawyer but was a policeman and heard many stories about messy break-ups (it’s a civil case but it’ll also be criminal case due to the accusation so the civil case won’t settle until the criminal case concludes first) always have the mother accusing the father that he is touching their kids inappropriately. It’s not the first time the court will hear this and it won’t be the last. The good news is that since it’s so common to use as a tactic by the mother (where they even rehearse their kids to say certain things), court have a special way of investigating these cases and will usually result in the mother losing the battle once proven false (and often so common they are found out). Just keep your logs and keep your interaction to a minimum but do try to get everything via in writing. The “perfect timing” these accusation starting to appear after she failed her other sabotage should lean in your favor but as others have said, get an expensive lawyer to look into this in the end of the day. Disclaimer: I am not giving any advice except for getting a lawyer part, this is all just my insight based on previous experience and hearsay.
|
I know your scenario is more likely what's going on but ask your ex-wife if she is using bubble bath during bath time. It's possible your daughter's allergic to it. I have the same issue and that is one of the first areas to react. Either way the refusal to go to a Dr is going to look really bad for her. Obviously don't forget to tell your lawyer all of this ASAP.
| 0 | 2,022 | 56.428571 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2p01hz
|
i2plg8w
| 1,648,631,855 | 1,648,645,876 | 4 | 395 |
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
|
I know your scenario is more likely what's going on but ask your ex-wife if she is using bubble bath during bath time. It's possible your daughter's allergic to it. I have the same issue and that is one of the first areas to react. Either way the refusal to go to a Dr is going to look really bad for her. Obviously don't forget to tell your lawyer all of this ASAP.
| 0 | 14,021 | 98.75 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2p01hz
|
i2p325z
| 1,648,631,855 | 1,648,634,473 | 4 | 323 |
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
|
Remember that ohio is also a one party consent state. So if youre not keeping a video/audio record of every in person/ phone call, start doing so. She might very well be doing this already. And make sure you get a flash drive with a high capacity to save the recordings to and give them to your lawyer. Every time you see him/her. So long as they are time/date stamped they can keep them as evidence to use for you if you turn them over regularly so there is a clear chain of evidence. And never get upset. Never lose your cool no matter what she throws at you. So long as you maintain composure and respectability, the court will look more favorable on you. Also, as much as it might suck, enter into some parenting classes. Especially any that are provided by licenced medical professionals. And ask for advice and tips often. The more you lay the ground work as a caring parent with someone whos job is teaching how to parent, the better it looks if you need to get witnesses to testify on your behalf. Good luck though, Ohio is not the best for seeing any side but mommys
| 0 | 2,618 | 80.75 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pgc41
|
i2pnpb1
| 1,648,643,281 | 1,648,646,931 | 50 | 114 |
You need the best lawyer you can get from the biggest firm around. It will be expensive, but there's a joke that's relevant to your situation, "Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it." This is going to be a war. Do you have a lawyer? Keep dated logs. Limit communication to only regarding co-parenting and document everything. It sounds like she is recording you. I would discuss this with your lawyer, but they may suggest a preemptive doctor's visit may be the best course of action. It may not. It may be best to take her straight to an ER right when you get her, because currently you have a mother complaining about odd behavior when she is not in your care, and the mother is not getting medical care. You need a great shark of a lawyer and you need to ask them. I would get yourself in therapy or counseling, whether you think you need it or not. This is groundwork to look good in court. Again, consult a lawyer. Keep in mind, parents who falsify or call in false sexual abuse deserve to be in the deepest layer of hell. If this gets down the road or she pulls this as the child gets older, the examinations that may be required essentially violate the child, and certainly damage their innocence and views of their parents. It's horrible, it's definitely a nuclear strategy that does not care about the child. This is going to be a contentious, awful divorce. Do everything your lawyer says and fight like hell.
|
Not a lawyer I've worked with children before, ages 3-5. I was obviously a mandated reporter. I was trained on what behaviors are normal and what is cause for concern. For SA there are certain behaviors a child shows beyond natural behaviors for their age. First off, take your daughter to a doctor. If it has to be the ER so be it. Tell the doctor what your ex is claiming she sees and have them check your daughter over. Get it all documented. A doctor will know what to look for and what's normal, especially a pediatrician. Make sure you document that your ex isnt taking her or is refusing to take her to the child's pediatrician during office hours despite "concerns". Keep up the documentation you have been doing. Your ex's concerns will likely be dismissed if she continues to zero evidence to back claims of SA. As everyone else is telling you, lawyer up if you dont have one already.
| 0 | 3,650 | 2.28 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pnpb1
|
i2phf18
| 1,648,646,931 | 1,648,643,854 | 114 | 7 |
Not a lawyer I've worked with children before, ages 3-5. I was obviously a mandated reporter. I was trained on what behaviors are normal and what is cause for concern. For SA there are certain behaviors a child shows beyond natural behaviors for their age. First off, take your daughter to a doctor. If it has to be the ER so be it. Tell the doctor what your ex is claiming she sees and have them check your daughter over. Get it all documented. A doctor will know what to look for and what's normal, especially a pediatrician. Make sure you document that your ex isnt taking her or is refusing to take her to the child's pediatrician during office hours despite "concerns". Keep up the documentation you have been doing. Your ex's concerns will likely be dismissed if she continues to zero evidence to back claims of SA. As everyone else is telling you, lawyer up if you dont have one already.
|
Not a lawyer but was a policeman and heard many stories about messy break-ups (it’s a civil case but it’ll also be criminal case due to the accusation so the civil case won’t settle until the criminal case concludes first) always have the mother accusing the father that he is touching their kids inappropriately. It’s not the first time the court will hear this and it won’t be the last. The good news is that since it’s so common to use as a tactic by the mother (where they even rehearse their kids to say certain things), court have a special way of investigating these cases and will usually result in the mother losing the battle once proven false (and often so common they are found out). Just keep your logs and keep your interaction to a minimum but do try to get everything via in writing. The “perfect timing” these accusation starting to appear after she failed her other sabotage should lean in your favor but as others have said, get an expensive lawyer to look into this in the end of the day. Disclaimer: I am not giving any advice except for getting a lawyer part, this is all just my insight based on previous experience and hearsay.
| 1 | 3,077 | 16.285714 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2p01hz
|
i2pnpb1
| 1,648,631,855 | 1,648,646,931 | 4 | 114 |
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
|
Not a lawyer I've worked with children before, ages 3-5. I was obviously a mandated reporter. I was trained on what behaviors are normal and what is cause for concern. For SA there are certain behaviors a child shows beyond natural behaviors for their age. First off, take your daughter to a doctor. If it has to be the ER so be it. Tell the doctor what your ex is claiming she sees and have them check your daughter over. Get it all documented. A doctor will know what to look for and what's normal, especially a pediatrician. Make sure you document that your ex isnt taking her or is refusing to take her to the child's pediatrician during office hours despite "concerns". Keep up the documentation you have been doing. Your ex's concerns will likely be dismissed if she continues to zero evidence to back claims of SA. As everyone else is telling you, lawyer up if you dont have one already.
| 0 | 15,076 | 28.5 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pgc41
|
i2pxo44
| 1,648,643,281 | 1,648,651,230 | 50 | 64 |
You need the best lawyer you can get from the biggest firm around. It will be expensive, but there's a joke that's relevant to your situation, "Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it." This is going to be a war. Do you have a lawyer? Keep dated logs. Limit communication to only regarding co-parenting and document everything. It sounds like she is recording you. I would discuss this with your lawyer, but they may suggest a preemptive doctor's visit may be the best course of action. It may not. It may be best to take her straight to an ER right when you get her, because currently you have a mother complaining about odd behavior when she is not in your care, and the mother is not getting medical care. You need a great shark of a lawyer and you need to ask them. I would get yourself in therapy or counseling, whether you think you need it or not. This is groundwork to look good in court. Again, consult a lawyer. Keep in mind, parents who falsify or call in false sexual abuse deserve to be in the deepest layer of hell. If this gets down the road or she pulls this as the child gets older, the examinations that may be required essentially violate the child, and certainly damage their innocence and views of their parents. It's horrible, it's definitely a nuclear strategy that does not care about the child. This is going to be a contentious, awful divorce. Do everything your lawyer says and fight like hell.
|
Just take your daughter to Urgent Care and let the doctor document that nothing is wrong and that toddlers are just really strange. No accusation has been made about SA (yet), so don't ask the doctor about it or mention it in any way - you just want to make sure there is no rash or reaction to anything causing discomfort. If there is nothing you've documented it and if there is, you were the one who handled it when your soon-to-be-ex refused to which is a win/win for you. As a side note, right around two is where kids start to become aware of the existence of their own genitals and they think it's hilarious to see them or to see themselves peeing (*especially* in the tub!). I have a son who is about the same age right now and watching himself peeing in the tub and just grabbing himself when he doesn't have a diaper on is basically the funniest thing in the world for him.
| 0 | 7,949 | 1.28 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pnxgp
|
i2pxo44
| 1,648,647,035 | 1,648,651,230 | 10 | 64 |
Judges hate false allegations of sexual abuse. Have a relative get a home study, in case the judge wants to place the child outside of your homes during an investigation. Be sure it’s someone who can be a protector against interference from either of you.
|
Just take your daughter to Urgent Care and let the doctor document that nothing is wrong and that toddlers are just really strange. No accusation has been made about SA (yet), so don't ask the doctor about it or mention it in any way - you just want to make sure there is no rash or reaction to anything causing discomfort. If there is nothing you've documented it and if there is, you were the one who handled it when your soon-to-be-ex refused to which is a win/win for you. As a side note, right around two is where kids start to become aware of the existence of their own genitals and they think it's hilarious to see them or to see themselves peeing (*especially* in the tub!). I have a son who is about the same age right now and watching himself peeing in the tub and just grabbing himself when he doesn't have a diaper on is basically the funniest thing in the world for him.
| 0 | 4,195 | 6.4 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2phf18
|
i2pxo44
| 1,648,643,854 | 1,648,651,230 | 7 | 64 |
Not a lawyer but was a policeman and heard many stories about messy break-ups (it’s a civil case but it’ll also be criminal case due to the accusation so the civil case won’t settle until the criminal case concludes first) always have the mother accusing the father that he is touching their kids inappropriately. It’s not the first time the court will hear this and it won’t be the last. The good news is that since it’s so common to use as a tactic by the mother (where they even rehearse their kids to say certain things), court have a special way of investigating these cases and will usually result in the mother losing the battle once proven false (and often so common they are found out). Just keep your logs and keep your interaction to a minimum but do try to get everything via in writing. The “perfect timing” these accusation starting to appear after she failed her other sabotage should lean in your favor but as others have said, get an expensive lawyer to look into this in the end of the day. Disclaimer: I am not giving any advice except for getting a lawyer part, this is all just my insight based on previous experience and hearsay.
|
Just take your daughter to Urgent Care and let the doctor document that nothing is wrong and that toddlers are just really strange. No accusation has been made about SA (yet), so don't ask the doctor about it or mention it in any way - you just want to make sure there is no rash or reaction to anything causing discomfort. If there is nothing you've documented it and if there is, you were the one who handled it when your soon-to-be-ex refused to which is a win/win for you. As a side note, right around two is where kids start to become aware of the existence of their own genitals and they think it's hilarious to see them or to see themselves peeing (*especially* in the tub!). I have a son who is about the same age right now and watching himself peeing in the tub and just grabbing himself when he doesn't have a diaper on is basically the funniest thing in the world for him.
| 0 | 7,376 | 9.142857 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2p01hz
|
i2pxo44
| 1,648,631,855 | 1,648,651,230 | 4 | 64 |
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
|
Just take your daughter to Urgent Care and let the doctor document that nothing is wrong and that toddlers are just really strange. No accusation has been made about SA (yet), so don't ask the doctor about it or mention it in any way - you just want to make sure there is no rash or reaction to anything causing discomfort. If there is nothing you've documented it and if there is, you were the one who handled it when your soon-to-be-ex refused to which is a win/win for you. As a side note, right around two is where kids start to become aware of the existence of their own genitals and they think it's hilarious to see them or to see themselves peeing (*especially* in the tub!). I have a son who is about the same age right now and watching himself peeing in the tub and just grabbing himself when he doesn't have a diaper on is basically the funniest thing in the world for him.
| 0 | 19,375 | 16 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pgc41
|
i2p01hz
| 1,648,643,281 | 1,648,631,855 | 50 | 4 |
You need the best lawyer you can get from the biggest firm around. It will be expensive, but there's a joke that's relevant to your situation, "Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it." This is going to be a war. Do you have a lawyer? Keep dated logs. Limit communication to only regarding co-parenting and document everything. It sounds like she is recording you. I would discuss this with your lawyer, but they may suggest a preemptive doctor's visit may be the best course of action. It may not. It may be best to take her straight to an ER right when you get her, because currently you have a mother complaining about odd behavior when she is not in your care, and the mother is not getting medical care. You need a great shark of a lawyer and you need to ask them. I would get yourself in therapy or counseling, whether you think you need it or not. This is groundwork to look good in court. Again, consult a lawyer. Keep in mind, parents who falsify or call in false sexual abuse deserve to be in the deepest layer of hell. If this gets down the road or she pulls this as the child gets older, the examinations that may be required essentially violate the child, and certainly damage their innocence and views of their parents. It's horrible, it's definitely a nuclear strategy that does not care about the child. This is going to be a contentious, awful divorce. Do everything your lawyer says and fight like hell.
|
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
| 1 | 11,426 | 12.5 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pxz1e
|
i2pnxgp
| 1,648,651,353 | 1,648,647,035 | 11 | 10 |
Step 1 is get a lawyer, and then work on demanding an independent assessment. Start logging every time she talks about this behavior, and save any texts or emails. If you don't have a temporary custody agreement, then my suggestion is that you set up a Monday appointment (or multiple appointments) and simply don't return your daughter on Sunday, and don't tell her until you have your daughter in hand (such as tell her Sunday that sorry, you can't return her, she'll be back Monday night). Absent a custody agreement, you can do this with relative impunity. If you do have a temporary custody agreement, you may still be able to do this, but you will want to talk to your lawyer first. Another option is plan a week of PTO and request the week with your daughter through the court, and get those appointments set up for that week.
|
Judges hate false allegations of sexual abuse. Have a relative get a home study, in case the judge wants to place the child outside of your homes during an investigation. Be sure it’s someone who can be a protector against interference from either of you.
| 1 | 4,318 | 1.1 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2phf18
|
i2pnxgp
| 1,648,643,854 | 1,648,647,035 | 7 | 10 |
Not a lawyer but was a policeman and heard many stories about messy break-ups (it’s a civil case but it’ll also be criminal case due to the accusation so the civil case won’t settle until the criminal case concludes first) always have the mother accusing the father that he is touching their kids inappropriately. It’s not the first time the court will hear this and it won’t be the last. The good news is that since it’s so common to use as a tactic by the mother (where they even rehearse their kids to say certain things), court have a special way of investigating these cases and will usually result in the mother losing the battle once proven false (and often so common they are found out). Just keep your logs and keep your interaction to a minimum but do try to get everything via in writing. The “perfect timing” these accusation starting to appear after she failed her other sabotage should lean in your favor but as others have said, get an expensive lawyer to look into this in the end of the day. Disclaimer: I am not giving any advice except for getting a lawyer part, this is all just my insight based on previous experience and hearsay.
|
Judges hate false allegations of sexual abuse. Have a relative get a home study, in case the judge wants to place the child outside of your homes during an investigation. Be sure it’s someone who can be a protector against interference from either of you.
| 0 | 3,181 | 1.428571 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2pnxgp
|
i2p01hz
| 1,648,647,035 | 1,648,631,855 | 10 | 4 |
Judges hate false allegations of sexual abuse. Have a relative get a home study, in case the judge wants to place the child outside of your homes during an investigation. Be sure it’s someone who can be a protector against interference from either of you.
|
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
| 1 | 15,180 | 2.5 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2phf18
|
i2pxz1e
| 1,648,643,854 | 1,648,651,353 | 7 | 11 |
Not a lawyer but was a policeman and heard many stories about messy break-ups (it’s a civil case but it’ll also be criminal case due to the accusation so the civil case won’t settle until the criminal case concludes first) always have the mother accusing the father that he is touching their kids inappropriately. It’s not the first time the court will hear this and it won’t be the last. The good news is that since it’s so common to use as a tactic by the mother (where they even rehearse their kids to say certain things), court have a special way of investigating these cases and will usually result in the mother losing the battle once proven false (and often so common they are found out). Just keep your logs and keep your interaction to a minimum but do try to get everything via in writing. The “perfect timing” these accusation starting to appear after she failed her other sabotage should lean in your favor but as others have said, get an expensive lawyer to look into this in the end of the day. Disclaimer: I am not giving any advice except for getting a lawyer part, this is all just my insight based on previous experience and hearsay.
|
Step 1 is get a lawyer, and then work on demanding an independent assessment. Start logging every time she talks about this behavior, and save any texts or emails. If you don't have a temporary custody agreement, then my suggestion is that you set up a Monday appointment (or multiple appointments) and simply don't return your daughter on Sunday, and don't tell her until you have your daughter in hand (such as tell her Sunday that sorry, you can't return her, she'll be back Monday night). Absent a custody agreement, you can do this with relative impunity. If you do have a temporary custody agreement, you may still be able to do this, but you will want to talk to your lawyer first. Another option is plan a week of PTO and request the week with your daughter through the court, and get those appointments set up for that week.
| 0 | 7,499 | 1.571429 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2p01hz
|
i2pxz1e
| 1,648,631,855 | 1,648,651,353 | 4 | 11 |
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
|
Step 1 is get a lawyer, and then work on demanding an independent assessment. Start logging every time she talks about this behavior, and save any texts or emails. If you don't have a temporary custody agreement, then my suggestion is that you set up a Monday appointment (or multiple appointments) and simply don't return your daughter on Sunday, and don't tell her until you have your daughter in hand (such as tell her Sunday that sorry, you can't return her, she'll be back Monday night). Absent a custody agreement, you can do this with relative impunity. If you do have a temporary custody agreement, you may still be able to do this, but you will want to talk to your lawyer first. Another option is plan a week of PTO and request the week with your daughter through the court, and get those appointments set up for that week.
| 0 | 19,498 | 2.75 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
|
i2phf18
|
i2p01hz
| 1,648,643,854 | 1,648,631,855 | 7 | 4 |
Not a lawyer but was a policeman and heard many stories about messy break-ups (it’s a civil case but it’ll also be criminal case due to the accusation so the civil case won’t settle until the criminal case concludes first) always have the mother accusing the father that he is touching their kids inappropriately. It’s not the first time the court will hear this and it won’t be the last. The good news is that since it’s so common to use as a tactic by the mother (where they even rehearse their kids to say certain things), court have a special way of investigating these cases and will usually result in the mother losing the battle once proven false (and often so common they are found out). Just keep your logs and keep your interaction to a minimum but do try to get everything via in writing. The “perfect timing” these accusation starting to appear after she failed her other sabotage should lean in your favor but as others have said, get an expensive lawyer to look into this in the end of the day. Disclaimer: I am not giving any advice except for getting a lawyer part, this is all just my insight based on previous experience and hearsay.
|
You’re probably doing it already, but keep a log (dates, times and notes) of her accusations and your replies, your paediatrician requests, and the lack of useful / helpful replies.
| 1 | 11,999 | 1.75 |
ts219l
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
Divorce-Getting accused of touching daughter inappropriately. How to protect myself. Ohio I am currently going thru a nasty divorce. My wife and I have a daughter(2). We are living separately. My wife does not want to co-parent and wants sole custody and has been making things up to try to tell the court I am unable to co-parent and I am the problem. This is all easily disprovable because I keep records, just have to hope the judge will look at the exhibits. Currently have a GAL report that recommends shared parenting. However, since previous tactics aren’t working, my wife has decided to go a more sinister route and has started claiming our daughter is “hyper aware of her crotch” after spending time with you and getting a bath. Claims our daughter tries rubbing herself and pulling up on her abdomen to see her privates during bath time. She then attempted to interrogate me about our bath time routine and makes sure to tell me that this behavior only happens after spending time with me. Since I know my wife, I know she is just trying to lay the ground work to accuse me of touching our daughter inappropriately. I have tried to ask my wife about this behavior/what is she doing/when did it happen/how many times/ when did it start but she avoids my questions. I have asked to get an appointment with our pediatrician but my wife refuses. I only get our daughter in the evenings and the weekends when the dr is closed. I am reliant on my wife to agree to the appointment as it would have to happen during her parenting time. She also refuses to let me get our daughter early to take her myself. I don’t know what to do to prove I am not touching our daughter inappropriately. This behavior, if it happens, only happens during mother’s parenting time. I am unable to get a professional’s opinion as my parenting time does not overlap with office hours. I guess I could take her to an ER or urgent care but she doesn’t do this behavior with me. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
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i2t8w6y
|
i3onr7z
| 1,648,703,197 | 1,649,282,155 | 2 | 3 |
It is possible she has a UTI. She definitely should see a pediatrician. I would get a lawyer and get an order to have her seen, and ensure that you can be present at the appt and if they don't allow more than one adult due to covid protocol etc that you have access to give your info to the dr in advance. UTI's are common in young girls with purely innocent causes. If left untreated, it can cause mire frequent UTI's or an infection that spreads to the kidneys etc. While certain ages become times that children are more aware of their genitals, as a mom of three, I can say that typically there is some contributing factor, like a health issue and not jumping to sexual assault. This is a common age where a child will become much more aware, or aware for the first time really, of their private parts, and a good age to begin to teach them that it is a private space. There are great resources online for how to approach teaching kids this at various age levels. For the record, courts don't take these kind of accusations lightly. At the same time, they don't take false accusations of sexual assault lightly, either. She could be setting herself up for a nasty result that she surely doesn't want. However, if she truly is falsely accusing you of such a thing, it would be in the child's best interest to have less time with her vs more. Unfortunately it will need to enter the court, and I would abstain from any communication with her in the meantime that is not either in writing or through your lawyer.
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what she's describing is normal behavior for a 2-year-old. you could likewise accuse her of munchausen by proxy for lying about the child's suffering for attention/benefit and it would be just as absurd. as stated by other users, most family court adjacent people will be familiar with this kind of bullshit.
| 0 | 578,958 | 1.5 |
x6iaw1
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Mail that isn’t mine keeps getting delivered to my house So I bought a house last year and since then, the people who used to live here keeps getting their mail delivered to my house. The address is correct, but they don’t live here anymore. I keep writing “return to sender” on the mail and it keeps getting sent back to my home with my writing still on the front of the envelope. I dont think I’ll be able to contact the last few people who lived here either because the owners didn’t live here, they would just rent out the place. So it will be hard to find them. What can I do about this mail that keeps getting delivered to my house? At this point can I just shred it or throw it away? I dont want it and I keep receiving their mail on top of the ones I already sent back. I don’t want to get in trouble for having other people mail
|
in75zhx
|
in6xrwz
| 1,662,394,133 | 1,662,390,789 | 613 | 309 |
If you are in the US, the USPS has a form you can fill out saying that they should only deliver mail to this address if it has xyz name on it. I don't remember what the form is called. I used it because my old house had a history of renters.
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There's a bar code along the bottom of envelopes that will route the letter back to your address, even if you've written "return to sender". Be sure to cross that out as well.
| 1 | 3,344 | 1.983819 |
x6iaw1
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Mail that isn’t mine keeps getting delivered to my house So I bought a house last year and since then, the people who used to live here keeps getting their mail delivered to my house. The address is correct, but they don’t live here anymore. I keep writing “return to sender” on the mail and it keeps getting sent back to my home with my writing still on the front of the envelope. I dont think I’ll be able to contact the last few people who lived here either because the owners didn’t live here, they would just rent out the place. So it will be hard to find them. What can I do about this mail that keeps getting delivered to my house? At this point can I just shred it or throw it away? I dont want it and I keep receiving their mail on top of the ones I already sent back. I don’t want to get in trouble for having other people mail
|
in75zhx
|
in702dh
| 1,662,394,133 | 1,662,391,732 | 613 | 12 |
If you are in the US, the USPS has a form you can fill out saying that they should only deliver mail to this address if it has xyz name on it. I don't remember what the form is called. I used it because my old house had a history of renters.
|
You can can also put a sign next to your mailbox that says "No mail for Joe & Kathy Smith, no longer at this address".
| 1 | 2,401 | 51.083333 |
x6iaw1
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Mail that isn’t mine keeps getting delivered to my house So I bought a house last year and since then, the people who used to live here keeps getting their mail delivered to my house. The address is correct, but they don’t live here anymore. I keep writing “return to sender” on the mail and it keeps getting sent back to my home with my writing still on the front of the envelope. I dont think I’ll be able to contact the last few people who lived here either because the owners didn’t live here, they would just rent out the place. So it will be hard to find them. What can I do about this mail that keeps getting delivered to my house? At this point can I just shred it or throw it away? I dont want it and I keep receiving their mail on top of the ones I already sent back. I don’t want to get in trouble for having other people mail
|
in702dh
|
in767pw
| 1,662,391,732 | 1,662,394,226 | 12 | 79 |
You can can also put a sign next to your mailbox that says "No mail for Joe & Kathy Smith, no longer at this address".
|
If you have the time, stop by your local USPS branch and speak with whoever is at the service counter. USPS can add a note in their system that only mail with your name will be delivered.
| 0 | 2,494 | 6.583333 |
x6iaw1
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Mail that isn’t mine keeps getting delivered to my house So I bought a house last year and since then, the people who used to live here keeps getting their mail delivered to my house. The address is correct, but they don’t live here anymore. I keep writing “return to sender” on the mail and it keeps getting sent back to my home with my writing still on the front of the envelope. I dont think I’ll be able to contact the last few people who lived here either because the owners didn’t live here, they would just rent out the place. So it will be hard to find them. What can I do about this mail that keeps getting delivered to my house? At this point can I just shred it or throw it away? I dont want it and I keep receiving their mail on top of the ones I already sent back. I don’t want to get in trouble for having other people mail
|
in702dh
|
in7hnu7
| 1,662,391,732 | 1,662,398,768 | 12 | 60 |
You can can also put a sign next to your mailbox that says "No mail for Joe & Kathy Smith, no longer at this address".
|
Get a black marker and put a line through the barcode that’s on the front of the envelope. It’s an electronic address. I’ve gotten so much mail for residents who used to live here that I got tired of writing “not at this address” and so I just printed up a bunch of stickers (small mailing labels like Avery 5160j and slap those on the envelopes.
| 0 | 7,036 | 5 |
x6iaw1
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Mail that isn’t mine keeps getting delivered to my house So I bought a house last year and since then, the people who used to live here keeps getting their mail delivered to my house. The address is correct, but they don’t live here anymore. I keep writing “return to sender” on the mail and it keeps getting sent back to my home with my writing still on the front of the envelope. I dont think I’ll be able to contact the last few people who lived here either because the owners didn’t live here, they would just rent out the place. So it will be hard to find them. What can I do about this mail that keeps getting delivered to my house? At this point can I just shred it or throw it away? I dont want it and I keep receiving their mail on top of the ones I already sent back. I don’t want to get in trouble for having other people mail
|
in7kabi
|
in702dh
| 1,662,399,813 | 1,662,391,732 | 21 | 12 |
Do not shred or throw it away. You are not legally permitted to destroy mail that belongs to anyone but you. You’ve received good advice on this post about what to do with it.
|
You can can also put a sign next to your mailbox that says "No mail for Joe & Kathy Smith, no longer at this address".
| 1 | 8,081 | 1.75 |
e8by07
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Can I get in trouble for taking my neighbor’s 7 year old daughter to school after she was left home alone? This morning I ran out to my car and saw my neighbor in the parking lot with her 8 year old son in the back seat. She waved to me like all was normal, heading to school, but I did notice her daughter wasn’t with them. I got back inside and I hear my neighbor’s daughter, a 7 year old in 2nd grade, screaming crying to the point of hyperventilating. I heard her scream “Don’t leave me!” Maybe 10 mins later I hear a slight knock followed by aggressive pounding on my door. I open the door to find the little girl fighting to breath through her tears. I asked her what happened and she told me “I was whining and crying so my mom left me.” I didn’t know what to do, so I asked “Do you need a ride to school?” She said yes, so I took her to school. I didn’t know what else to do. I grabbed a paper towel and a marker and left a note that said “Took (daughter’s name) to school. - (My name) next door”. When I got back, the note was gone, but the mother hasn’t been back since. I did knock on her door twice, but no answer. I told my sister what happened and she said I could get in trouble for taking the girl school. I want to report the mother, but I don’t want to end up in trouble myself either with like a kidnapping charge or something. Two things to note: 1. I just met the mother for the first time in the hallway on Thanksgiving. We chatted for about 10 min. I’ve never met the kids before. I waved to the little girl once from across the parking lot, last Friday, and told her I was her neighbor. It was our first and only interaction. She doesn’t know me at all. I’m a complete stranger. Not someone she does/should feel safe to knock on their door. 2. I was a little take aback by how the girl was dressed. She was very disheveled in what looked like dirty Pajamas. (The mother did mention on Thanksgiving she hasn’t bought a washer or dryer for her apartment yet. She’s lived there for about 6 months. I assumed she was going to a laundry mat, but maybe they are just wearing dirty clothes?) I probably wouldn’t let my kid leave the house in what she was wearing, let alone send her to school. The kid herself looked clean, but her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a while.
|
faafjuh
|
faaixwn
| 1,575,908,125 | 1,575,909,423 | 416 | 1,561 |
Call CPS.
|
Call CPS- that's endangerment and neglect. Don't spend time second guessing yourself, trust your gut and call. You could save both kids lives.
| 0 | 1,298 | 3.752404 |
e8by07
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Can I get in trouble for taking my neighbor’s 7 year old daughter to school after she was left home alone? This morning I ran out to my car and saw my neighbor in the parking lot with her 8 year old son in the back seat. She waved to me like all was normal, heading to school, but I did notice her daughter wasn’t with them. I got back inside and I hear my neighbor’s daughter, a 7 year old in 2nd grade, screaming crying to the point of hyperventilating. I heard her scream “Don’t leave me!” Maybe 10 mins later I hear a slight knock followed by aggressive pounding on my door. I open the door to find the little girl fighting to breath through her tears. I asked her what happened and she told me “I was whining and crying so my mom left me.” I didn’t know what to do, so I asked “Do you need a ride to school?” She said yes, so I took her to school. I didn’t know what else to do. I grabbed a paper towel and a marker and left a note that said “Took (daughter’s name) to school. - (My name) next door”. When I got back, the note was gone, but the mother hasn’t been back since. I did knock on her door twice, but no answer. I told my sister what happened and she said I could get in trouble for taking the girl school. I want to report the mother, but I don’t want to end up in trouble myself either with like a kidnapping charge or something. Two things to note: 1. I just met the mother for the first time in the hallway on Thanksgiving. We chatted for about 10 min. I’ve never met the kids before. I waved to the little girl once from across the parking lot, last Friday, and told her I was her neighbor. It was our first and only interaction. She doesn’t know me at all. I’m a complete stranger. Not someone she does/should feel safe to knock on their door. 2. I was a little take aback by how the girl was dressed. She was very disheveled in what looked like dirty Pajamas. (The mother did mention on Thanksgiving she hasn’t bought a washer or dryer for her apartment yet. She’s lived there for about 6 months. I assumed she was going to a laundry mat, but maybe they are just wearing dirty clothes?) I probably wouldn’t let my kid leave the house in what she was wearing, let alone send her to school. The kid herself looked clean, but her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a while.
|
faaixwn
|
faaga34
| 1,575,909,423 | 1,575,908,409 | 1,561 | 206 |
Call CPS- that's endangerment and neglect. Don't spend time second guessing yourself, trust your gut and call. You could save both kids lives.
|
No, you would not be in trouble for taking the child to school in this situation. Call CPS.
| 1 | 1,014 | 7.57767 |
e8by07
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Can I get in trouble for taking my neighbor’s 7 year old daughter to school after she was left home alone? This morning I ran out to my car and saw my neighbor in the parking lot with her 8 year old son in the back seat. She waved to me like all was normal, heading to school, but I did notice her daughter wasn’t with them. I got back inside and I hear my neighbor’s daughter, a 7 year old in 2nd grade, screaming crying to the point of hyperventilating. I heard her scream “Don’t leave me!” Maybe 10 mins later I hear a slight knock followed by aggressive pounding on my door. I open the door to find the little girl fighting to breath through her tears. I asked her what happened and she told me “I was whining and crying so my mom left me.” I didn’t know what to do, so I asked “Do you need a ride to school?” She said yes, so I took her to school. I didn’t know what else to do. I grabbed a paper towel and a marker and left a note that said “Took (daughter’s name) to school. - (My name) next door”. When I got back, the note was gone, but the mother hasn’t been back since. I did knock on her door twice, but no answer. I told my sister what happened and she said I could get in trouble for taking the girl school. I want to report the mother, but I don’t want to end up in trouble myself either with like a kidnapping charge or something. Two things to note: 1. I just met the mother for the first time in the hallway on Thanksgiving. We chatted for about 10 min. I’ve never met the kids before. I waved to the little girl once from across the parking lot, last Friday, and told her I was her neighbor. It was our first and only interaction. She doesn’t know me at all. I’m a complete stranger. Not someone she does/should feel safe to knock on their door. 2. I was a little take aback by how the girl was dressed. She was very disheveled in what looked like dirty Pajamas. (The mother did mention on Thanksgiving she hasn’t bought a washer or dryer for her apartment yet. She’s lived there for about 6 months. I assumed she was going to a laundry mat, but maybe they are just wearing dirty clothes?) I probably wouldn’t let my kid leave the house in what she was wearing, let alone send her to school. The kid herself looked clean, but her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a while.
|
faafjuh
|
fad9pn8
| 1,575,908,125 | 1,575,960,807 | 416 | 720 |
Call CPS.
|
Speaking as a former CPS worker: 1) If a child is that hysterical about being left there alone, she's too young to be left home alone. Some states have a minimum age limit, others have a "mental capacity" requirement where a child can be left home alone at any age where they can take of themselves in a basic way (have a phone, know what to do in an emergency, etc.) The fact that this child was crying, showing anxiety about being left alone and left the home to seek you out is a sign they're too young/immature to be left home alone. Most states would consider this neglect at the very least. The fact that mother left her in the hallway of the building makes me feel this is neglect even more strongly. It's not appropriate behavior for a parent to treat a young child this way. 2) Depending on your state, it could be considered kidnapping on the extreme end and custodial interference on the low end. Under the statutes that we operated under, custodial interference was any that interfered with the custodial parent(s) access to the child. Even though you didn't enter the home to remove the child, you did remove the child from the area. I can't imagine a sane police department that would charge you, but stranger things have happened. The safest bet would be to wait with the child, notify law enforcement and standby until officers arrive. Bringing the child into your home would be perfectly acceptable. If you make it clear that this is a young girl who's very upset about being left alone, most larger departments have officers and detectives that work exclusively for "child help" and work child crimes. These officers and detectives picked this on purpose because they want to help children. Even if not, any police officer will call their local child welfare agency immediately to arrange a social worker take custody of the child. A police precinct is no place for a young child and they know it. 3) Call CPS. The one thing that can happen in the other party (in this case, mom) can paint YOU to be the bad guy in all this. "She took the child from my home, she wasn't even dressed for school!" Sometimes it's best for them to hear what happened from the reasonable party first. CPS isn't meant to be punitive and most of the laws on the books are designed to protect parents from social services. CPS has no legal authority without a court order, so anything done by CPS was issued by a court. If this mom needs help, it's the easiest way for her to get it. And don't worry about being accused of child abuse or neglect yourself. Most statutes require that a perpetrator live in the child's home.
| 0 | 52,682 | 1.730769 |
e8by07
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Can I get in trouble for taking my neighbor’s 7 year old daughter to school after she was left home alone? This morning I ran out to my car and saw my neighbor in the parking lot with her 8 year old son in the back seat. She waved to me like all was normal, heading to school, but I did notice her daughter wasn’t with them. I got back inside and I hear my neighbor’s daughter, a 7 year old in 2nd grade, screaming crying to the point of hyperventilating. I heard her scream “Don’t leave me!” Maybe 10 mins later I hear a slight knock followed by aggressive pounding on my door. I open the door to find the little girl fighting to breath through her tears. I asked her what happened and she told me “I was whining and crying so my mom left me.” I didn’t know what to do, so I asked “Do you need a ride to school?” She said yes, so I took her to school. I didn’t know what else to do. I grabbed a paper towel and a marker and left a note that said “Took (daughter’s name) to school. - (My name) next door”. When I got back, the note was gone, but the mother hasn’t been back since. I did knock on her door twice, but no answer. I told my sister what happened and she said I could get in trouble for taking the girl school. I want to report the mother, but I don’t want to end up in trouble myself either with like a kidnapping charge or something. Two things to note: 1. I just met the mother for the first time in the hallway on Thanksgiving. We chatted for about 10 min. I’ve never met the kids before. I waved to the little girl once from across the parking lot, last Friday, and told her I was her neighbor. It was our first and only interaction. She doesn’t know me at all. I’m a complete stranger. Not someone she does/should feel safe to knock on their door. 2. I was a little take aback by how the girl was dressed. She was very disheveled in what looked like dirty Pajamas. (The mother did mention on Thanksgiving she hasn’t bought a washer or dryer for her apartment yet. She’s lived there for about 6 months. I assumed she was going to a laundry mat, but maybe they are just wearing dirty clothes?) I probably wouldn’t let my kid leave the house in what she was wearing, let alone send her to school. The kid herself looked clean, but her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a while.
|
faaga34
|
fad9pn8
| 1,575,908,409 | 1,575,960,807 | 206 | 720 |
No, you would not be in trouble for taking the child to school in this situation. Call CPS.
|
Speaking as a former CPS worker: 1) If a child is that hysterical about being left there alone, she's too young to be left home alone. Some states have a minimum age limit, others have a "mental capacity" requirement where a child can be left home alone at any age where they can take of themselves in a basic way (have a phone, know what to do in an emergency, etc.) The fact that this child was crying, showing anxiety about being left alone and left the home to seek you out is a sign they're too young/immature to be left home alone. Most states would consider this neglect at the very least. The fact that mother left her in the hallway of the building makes me feel this is neglect even more strongly. It's not appropriate behavior for a parent to treat a young child this way. 2) Depending on your state, it could be considered kidnapping on the extreme end and custodial interference on the low end. Under the statutes that we operated under, custodial interference was any that interfered with the custodial parent(s) access to the child. Even though you didn't enter the home to remove the child, you did remove the child from the area. I can't imagine a sane police department that would charge you, but stranger things have happened. The safest bet would be to wait with the child, notify law enforcement and standby until officers arrive. Bringing the child into your home would be perfectly acceptable. If you make it clear that this is a young girl who's very upset about being left alone, most larger departments have officers and detectives that work exclusively for "child help" and work child crimes. These officers and detectives picked this on purpose because they want to help children. Even if not, any police officer will call their local child welfare agency immediately to arrange a social worker take custody of the child. A police precinct is no place for a young child and they know it. 3) Call CPS. The one thing that can happen in the other party (in this case, mom) can paint YOU to be the bad guy in all this. "She took the child from my home, she wasn't even dressed for school!" Sometimes it's best for them to hear what happened from the reasonable party first. CPS isn't meant to be punitive and most of the laws on the books are designed to protect parents from social services. CPS has no legal authority without a court order, so anything done by CPS was issued by a court. If this mom needs help, it's the easiest way for her to get it. And don't worry about being accused of child abuse or neglect yourself. Most statutes require that a perpetrator live in the child's home.
| 0 | 52,398 | 3.495146 |
e8by07
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Can I get in trouble for taking my neighbor’s 7 year old daughter to school after she was left home alone? This morning I ran out to my car and saw my neighbor in the parking lot with her 8 year old son in the back seat. She waved to me like all was normal, heading to school, but I did notice her daughter wasn’t with them. I got back inside and I hear my neighbor’s daughter, a 7 year old in 2nd grade, screaming crying to the point of hyperventilating. I heard her scream “Don’t leave me!” Maybe 10 mins later I hear a slight knock followed by aggressive pounding on my door. I open the door to find the little girl fighting to breath through her tears. I asked her what happened and she told me “I was whining and crying so my mom left me.” I didn’t know what to do, so I asked “Do you need a ride to school?” She said yes, so I took her to school. I didn’t know what else to do. I grabbed a paper towel and a marker and left a note that said “Took (daughter’s name) to school. - (My name) next door”. When I got back, the note was gone, but the mother hasn’t been back since. I did knock on her door twice, but no answer. I told my sister what happened and she said I could get in trouble for taking the girl school. I want to report the mother, but I don’t want to end up in trouble myself either with like a kidnapping charge or something. Two things to note: 1. I just met the mother for the first time in the hallway on Thanksgiving. We chatted for about 10 min. I’ve never met the kids before. I waved to the little girl once from across the parking lot, last Friday, and told her I was her neighbor. It was our first and only interaction. She doesn’t know me at all. I’m a complete stranger. Not someone she does/should feel safe to knock on their door. 2. I was a little take aback by how the girl was dressed. She was very disheveled in what looked like dirty Pajamas. (The mother did mention on Thanksgiving she hasn’t bought a washer or dryer for her apartment yet. She’s lived there for about 6 months. I assumed she was going to a laundry mat, but maybe they are just wearing dirty clothes?) I probably wouldn’t let my kid leave the house in what she was wearing, let alone send her to school. The kid herself looked clean, but her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a while.
|
fad9pn8
|
facp47u
| 1,575,960,807 | 1,575,943,937 | 720 | 179 |
Speaking as a former CPS worker: 1) If a child is that hysterical about being left there alone, she's too young to be left home alone. Some states have a minimum age limit, others have a "mental capacity" requirement where a child can be left home alone at any age where they can take of themselves in a basic way (have a phone, know what to do in an emergency, etc.) The fact that this child was crying, showing anxiety about being left alone and left the home to seek you out is a sign they're too young/immature to be left home alone. Most states would consider this neglect at the very least. The fact that mother left her in the hallway of the building makes me feel this is neglect even more strongly. It's not appropriate behavior for a parent to treat a young child this way. 2) Depending on your state, it could be considered kidnapping on the extreme end and custodial interference on the low end. Under the statutes that we operated under, custodial interference was any that interfered with the custodial parent(s) access to the child. Even though you didn't enter the home to remove the child, you did remove the child from the area. I can't imagine a sane police department that would charge you, but stranger things have happened. The safest bet would be to wait with the child, notify law enforcement and standby until officers arrive. Bringing the child into your home would be perfectly acceptable. If you make it clear that this is a young girl who's very upset about being left alone, most larger departments have officers and detectives that work exclusively for "child help" and work child crimes. These officers and detectives picked this on purpose because they want to help children. Even if not, any police officer will call their local child welfare agency immediately to arrange a social worker take custody of the child. A police precinct is no place for a young child and they know it. 3) Call CPS. The one thing that can happen in the other party (in this case, mom) can paint YOU to be the bad guy in all this. "She took the child from my home, she wasn't even dressed for school!" Sometimes it's best for them to hear what happened from the reasonable party first. CPS isn't meant to be punitive and most of the laws on the books are designed to protect parents from social services. CPS has no legal authority without a court order, so anything done by CPS was issued by a court. If this mom needs help, it's the easiest way for her to get it. And don't worry about being accused of child abuse or neglect yourself. Most statutes require that a perpetrator live in the child's home.
|
For future reference, the correct action is to go outside with her, call the cops, and just hang out until they get there. I dont think you will get in trouble, especially if you had taken her to the front office and asked someone to escort her to her class... chain of custody and such. Even without this, you are probably fine. Either way, like others have said, call CPS. If she was in fact left alone, it's something to be addressed.
| 1 | 16,870 | 4.022346 |
e8by07
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Can I get in trouble for taking my neighbor’s 7 year old daughter to school after she was left home alone? This morning I ran out to my car and saw my neighbor in the parking lot with her 8 year old son in the back seat. She waved to me like all was normal, heading to school, but I did notice her daughter wasn’t with them. I got back inside and I hear my neighbor’s daughter, a 7 year old in 2nd grade, screaming crying to the point of hyperventilating. I heard her scream “Don’t leave me!” Maybe 10 mins later I hear a slight knock followed by aggressive pounding on my door. I open the door to find the little girl fighting to breath through her tears. I asked her what happened and she told me “I was whining and crying so my mom left me.” I didn’t know what to do, so I asked “Do you need a ride to school?” She said yes, so I took her to school. I didn’t know what else to do. I grabbed a paper towel and a marker and left a note that said “Took (daughter’s name) to school. - (My name) next door”. When I got back, the note was gone, but the mother hasn’t been back since. I did knock on her door twice, but no answer. I told my sister what happened and she said I could get in trouble for taking the girl school. I want to report the mother, but I don’t want to end up in trouble myself either with like a kidnapping charge or something. Two things to note: 1. I just met the mother for the first time in the hallway on Thanksgiving. We chatted for about 10 min. I’ve never met the kids before. I waved to the little girl once from across the parking lot, last Friday, and told her I was her neighbor. It was our first and only interaction. She doesn’t know me at all. I’m a complete stranger. Not someone she does/should feel safe to knock on their door. 2. I was a little take aback by how the girl was dressed. She was very disheveled in what looked like dirty Pajamas. (The mother did mention on Thanksgiving she hasn’t bought a washer or dryer for her apartment yet. She’s lived there for about 6 months. I assumed she was going to a laundry mat, but maybe they are just wearing dirty clothes?) I probably wouldn’t let my kid leave the house in what she was wearing, let alone send her to school. The kid herself looked clean, but her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a while.
|
fad9pn8
|
facbxue
| 1,575,960,807 | 1,575,936,763 | 720 | 122 |
Speaking as a former CPS worker: 1) If a child is that hysterical about being left there alone, she's too young to be left home alone. Some states have a minimum age limit, others have a "mental capacity" requirement where a child can be left home alone at any age where they can take of themselves in a basic way (have a phone, know what to do in an emergency, etc.) The fact that this child was crying, showing anxiety about being left alone and left the home to seek you out is a sign they're too young/immature to be left home alone. Most states would consider this neglect at the very least. The fact that mother left her in the hallway of the building makes me feel this is neglect even more strongly. It's not appropriate behavior for a parent to treat a young child this way. 2) Depending on your state, it could be considered kidnapping on the extreme end and custodial interference on the low end. Under the statutes that we operated under, custodial interference was any that interfered with the custodial parent(s) access to the child. Even though you didn't enter the home to remove the child, you did remove the child from the area. I can't imagine a sane police department that would charge you, but stranger things have happened. The safest bet would be to wait with the child, notify law enforcement and standby until officers arrive. Bringing the child into your home would be perfectly acceptable. If you make it clear that this is a young girl who's very upset about being left alone, most larger departments have officers and detectives that work exclusively for "child help" and work child crimes. These officers and detectives picked this on purpose because they want to help children. Even if not, any police officer will call their local child welfare agency immediately to arrange a social worker take custody of the child. A police precinct is no place for a young child and they know it. 3) Call CPS. The one thing that can happen in the other party (in this case, mom) can paint YOU to be the bad guy in all this. "She took the child from my home, she wasn't even dressed for school!" Sometimes it's best for them to hear what happened from the reasonable party first. CPS isn't meant to be punitive and most of the laws on the books are designed to protect parents from social services. CPS has no legal authority without a court order, so anything done by CPS was issued by a court. If this mom needs help, it's the easiest way for her to get it. And don't worry about being accused of child abuse or neglect yourself. Most statutes require that a perpetrator live in the child's home.
|
I honestly can't see how OP would get in trouble for kidnapping or anything. And if OP makes contact with CPS or authorities first it'll be harder for the mother accuse OP later of something malicious when/if OP reports her to CPS. But I can't see how OP could get in trouble. The little girl got to school okay. So it's not like OP kept her. The only thing I'd be worried about is the mother making false reports or accusations about OP if something happens with CPS. Like, I'd be worried that she'd try to coach her child into saying that OP "touched her inappropriately" when OP took her to school, or that she doesn't know what happened immediately after the little girl knocked on OP's door. She may try to falsify information by saying she didn't leave her daughter on purpose and that her clothes were disheveled only after contact with OP. But I mean, I feel like that's the WORST case scenario. I obviously don't know OP's neighbor. But I wish OP the best. Same for the little girl.
| 1 | 24,044 | 5.901639 |
e8by07
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Can I get in trouble for taking my neighbor’s 7 year old daughter to school after she was left home alone? This morning I ran out to my car and saw my neighbor in the parking lot with her 8 year old son in the back seat. She waved to me like all was normal, heading to school, but I did notice her daughter wasn’t with them. I got back inside and I hear my neighbor’s daughter, a 7 year old in 2nd grade, screaming crying to the point of hyperventilating. I heard her scream “Don’t leave me!” Maybe 10 mins later I hear a slight knock followed by aggressive pounding on my door. I open the door to find the little girl fighting to breath through her tears. I asked her what happened and she told me “I was whining and crying so my mom left me.” I didn’t know what to do, so I asked “Do you need a ride to school?” She said yes, so I took her to school. I didn’t know what else to do. I grabbed a paper towel and a marker and left a note that said “Took (daughter’s name) to school. - (My name) next door”. When I got back, the note was gone, but the mother hasn’t been back since. I did knock on her door twice, but no answer. I told my sister what happened and she said I could get in trouble for taking the girl school. I want to report the mother, but I don’t want to end up in trouble myself either with like a kidnapping charge or something. Two things to note: 1. I just met the mother for the first time in the hallway on Thanksgiving. We chatted for about 10 min. I’ve never met the kids before. I waved to the little girl once from across the parking lot, last Friday, and told her I was her neighbor. It was our first and only interaction. She doesn’t know me at all. I’m a complete stranger. Not someone she does/should feel safe to knock on their door. 2. I was a little take aback by how the girl was dressed. She was very disheveled in what looked like dirty Pajamas. (The mother did mention on Thanksgiving she hasn’t bought a washer or dryer for her apartment yet. She’s lived there for about 6 months. I assumed she was going to a laundry mat, but maybe they are just wearing dirty clothes?) I probably wouldn’t let my kid leave the house in what she was wearing, let alone send her to school. The kid herself looked clean, but her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a while.
|
facbxue
|
facp47u
| 1,575,936,763 | 1,575,943,937 | 122 | 179 |
I honestly can't see how OP would get in trouble for kidnapping or anything. And if OP makes contact with CPS or authorities first it'll be harder for the mother accuse OP later of something malicious when/if OP reports her to CPS. But I can't see how OP could get in trouble. The little girl got to school okay. So it's not like OP kept her. The only thing I'd be worried about is the mother making false reports or accusations about OP if something happens with CPS. Like, I'd be worried that she'd try to coach her child into saying that OP "touched her inappropriately" when OP took her to school, or that she doesn't know what happened immediately after the little girl knocked on OP's door. She may try to falsify information by saying she didn't leave her daughter on purpose and that her clothes were disheveled only after contact with OP. But I mean, I feel like that's the WORST case scenario. I obviously don't know OP's neighbor. But I wish OP the best. Same for the little girl.
|
For future reference, the correct action is to go outside with her, call the cops, and just hang out until they get there. I dont think you will get in trouble, especially if you had taken her to the front office and asked someone to escort her to her class... chain of custody and such. Even without this, you are probably fine. Either way, like others have said, call CPS. If she was in fact left alone, it's something to be addressed.
| 0 | 7,174 | 1.467213 |
vyay3i
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
My coworkers and I feel that our HR department is refusing to keep us safe from a man known for sexual harassment. Can anything be done? I am a civil servant in a department that is approximately 90% women. We have a male department head and two male supervisors, one of whom became a supervisor in 2021. For simplicity sake, I will refer to him as John. John has worked in this field for 8 years and in that time accumulated multiple complaints for sexual harassment. 11 of those complains have made their way to HR. A 12th complaint is currently pending response from HR. These complaints have been made by a variety of people. The complaints I know of (made to HR or our Department head) are listed below, with a TL;DR version below that. 1 - 2016. John requested 2 female employees ask their friends to sleep with him and his wife. They declined to do so, he persisted, a complaint was made to the department head who chose not to involve HR. They were told John would be spoken to and that was the end of it. 2 - 2016. John started talking about a female employees body loudly to a group of people in front of her. He made comments about her butt and what he would like to do with it. She passed this on to our department head. He told her he would have a talk with John and others present to determine if this should be presented to HR. 3 - A month after incident 2, still 2016, John made the same employee uncomfortable again. While surrounded by a group of people he asked her to join him and his wife in bed. She immediately reported this directly to HR. HR advised that John would receive consequences that were to be kept private and told the female employee that discussing the incident further would put her at risk of termination. John used this to his advantage (and continues to do so) by lying to anyone that will listen about the circumstances of this report. He tells people she made everything up (despite witnesses) and she cannot defend herself. 4 - In 2017 John used his work email to post an ad on Craigslist requesting someone join him and his wife in bed. He was reading sexually explicit emails in response at work and discussing the possibilities with another coworker. This coworker reported the incident to a supervisor, who instructed John to take down the ad and use his personal email. 5 - In 2017 John complained about a new break policy that monitored break lengths. He admitted to a female coworker that he enjoyed taking long breaks as he would go into the restroom to watch porn on his phone and masturbate. This was reported to a supervisor, who passed it on to the department head, who said he would handle the situation. I do not know what, if anything, was done at this point. 6 - In 2017 someone from a neighboring business complained to our department head after John was seen groping a woman outside and in public while wearing our logo. I believe this made it to HR as our entire department was required to do sexual harassing training. 7 - 2018. While not necessarily harassment, John attempted to have our department head change policy to prevent women from wearing high heals or make up as, according to John, both are unnecessary and distract women from doing our jobs. During this time, John was known to approach female employees and critique our appearances (he wanted us to pluck our eyebrows differently, wear a different shade of blush, not wear fingernail polish, things like that.) 8 - 2018. John texted sexually explicit pictures to a female employee. She reported the texts to a supervisor, who told her she would handle the situation. I do not know what steps were taken and neither does the employee. We do believe HR was made aware as he complained about a write up around this time and the entire department was made to do sexual harassment training. 9 - 2019. John asked out a female employee who was married to a disabled woman. She declined. John started referring to the employees spouse as various vegetables when speaking with others. This was brought to HR and the entire department was made to do sensitivity training. I don't know of any personal consequences for John. 10 - 2020. During this time John divorced his wife. He began dating a new coworker who was not aware of the type of person he is. After she ended things John attempted to retaliate by telling the department head she was submitting subpar work. She proved this was incorrect, but for a moment her job was at risk. This was not brought to HR. 11 - 2021. John sent several messages to multiple female employees telling them how beautiful they are and how he'd love to be with them. Some chose to take this to a supervisor. Some did not. No one is really sure if it went further as they were told it was handled privately. 12 - 2021. At this point John ia a supervisor. It was found that he had moved in with a subordinate. He was temporarily stripped of his title and HR investigated. They agreed that he could return to his position as supervisor if he ended the relationship with his subordinate. 13 - 2022. John was speaking inappropriately to a female employee about her body. She asked him to stop. He responded by offering a tampon since, according to John, she must be on her period to have such an attitude. This was reported to HR. 14 - 2022. John began sending inappropriate messages to a female employee. She explained that she is not attracted to men and asked that he stop. He continued messaging her and started describing what he would do to her to make her like men, all very sexual. She told him she would go to HR and he told her to go for it as he'd already been investigated 11 times and he was untouchable each time. This has been going on since early March. A month ago she went to another supervisor asking for any help and John got wind of it. He began reporting her work as unacceptable to the department head. She was pulled in and told she had 90 days to improve or she'd be terminated. She proved the complaints made against her were false and they were dropped. She called HR to make a complaint directly and was told she'd be called back. It's been 2 weeks and she's called multiple times. No one has returned her calls. TL;DR: Male coworker has multiple incidents of sexual harassment. I know of 14 separate issues. He has, by his own admission, been investigated by HR 11 times. Nothing is being done. Our mostly female office feels unsafe around him. He feels untouchable. Is there anything that can be done? Can we threaten legal action against our HR department? Or our Department Head? Or him? Does he have to physically assault someone before any real action can be taken?
|
ig1js8j
|
ig1aw6y
| 1,657,746,330 | 1,657,742,853 | 464 | 259 |
I curious why no one is suggesting they consult an attorney. I mean you have a hell of a paper trail, multiple victims, potential clear pattern of behavior and lack of response from those in charge. At the very least, they would light a fire under someone's ass. Am I wrong in that this sounds expensive for a city to ignore?
|
Report the harassment to the EEOC. Unfortunately timely reporting is a requirement, so you can only report incidents in the last 180 days. Report what you can and keep making reports every time something happens. For criminal conduct report it to the police. I get that you said the police are tangentially aware of what's happening. That's not the same as filing a formal report. The victims of harassment have the right to sue both their harasser as well as the employer for the harassment they personally experienced. If the victims are interested in that route, they should consult a local attorney and have their case evaluated.
| 1 | 3,477 | 1.791506 |
vyay3i
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
My coworkers and I feel that our HR department is refusing to keep us safe from a man known for sexual harassment. Can anything be done? I am a civil servant in a department that is approximately 90% women. We have a male department head and two male supervisors, one of whom became a supervisor in 2021. For simplicity sake, I will refer to him as John. John has worked in this field for 8 years and in that time accumulated multiple complaints for sexual harassment. 11 of those complains have made their way to HR. A 12th complaint is currently pending response from HR. These complaints have been made by a variety of people. The complaints I know of (made to HR or our Department head) are listed below, with a TL;DR version below that. 1 - 2016. John requested 2 female employees ask their friends to sleep with him and his wife. They declined to do so, he persisted, a complaint was made to the department head who chose not to involve HR. They were told John would be spoken to and that was the end of it. 2 - 2016. John started talking about a female employees body loudly to a group of people in front of her. He made comments about her butt and what he would like to do with it. She passed this on to our department head. He told her he would have a talk with John and others present to determine if this should be presented to HR. 3 - A month after incident 2, still 2016, John made the same employee uncomfortable again. While surrounded by a group of people he asked her to join him and his wife in bed. She immediately reported this directly to HR. HR advised that John would receive consequences that were to be kept private and told the female employee that discussing the incident further would put her at risk of termination. John used this to his advantage (and continues to do so) by lying to anyone that will listen about the circumstances of this report. He tells people she made everything up (despite witnesses) and she cannot defend herself. 4 - In 2017 John used his work email to post an ad on Craigslist requesting someone join him and his wife in bed. He was reading sexually explicit emails in response at work and discussing the possibilities with another coworker. This coworker reported the incident to a supervisor, who instructed John to take down the ad and use his personal email. 5 - In 2017 John complained about a new break policy that monitored break lengths. He admitted to a female coworker that he enjoyed taking long breaks as he would go into the restroom to watch porn on his phone and masturbate. This was reported to a supervisor, who passed it on to the department head, who said he would handle the situation. I do not know what, if anything, was done at this point. 6 - In 2017 someone from a neighboring business complained to our department head after John was seen groping a woman outside and in public while wearing our logo. I believe this made it to HR as our entire department was required to do sexual harassing training. 7 - 2018. While not necessarily harassment, John attempted to have our department head change policy to prevent women from wearing high heals or make up as, according to John, both are unnecessary and distract women from doing our jobs. During this time, John was known to approach female employees and critique our appearances (he wanted us to pluck our eyebrows differently, wear a different shade of blush, not wear fingernail polish, things like that.) 8 - 2018. John texted sexually explicit pictures to a female employee. She reported the texts to a supervisor, who told her she would handle the situation. I do not know what steps were taken and neither does the employee. We do believe HR was made aware as he complained about a write up around this time and the entire department was made to do sexual harassment training. 9 - 2019. John asked out a female employee who was married to a disabled woman. She declined. John started referring to the employees spouse as various vegetables when speaking with others. This was brought to HR and the entire department was made to do sensitivity training. I don't know of any personal consequences for John. 10 - 2020. During this time John divorced his wife. He began dating a new coworker who was not aware of the type of person he is. After she ended things John attempted to retaliate by telling the department head she was submitting subpar work. She proved this was incorrect, but for a moment her job was at risk. This was not brought to HR. 11 - 2021. John sent several messages to multiple female employees telling them how beautiful they are and how he'd love to be with them. Some chose to take this to a supervisor. Some did not. No one is really sure if it went further as they were told it was handled privately. 12 - 2021. At this point John ia a supervisor. It was found that he had moved in with a subordinate. He was temporarily stripped of his title and HR investigated. They agreed that he could return to his position as supervisor if he ended the relationship with his subordinate. 13 - 2022. John was speaking inappropriately to a female employee about her body. She asked him to stop. He responded by offering a tampon since, according to John, she must be on her period to have such an attitude. This was reported to HR. 14 - 2022. John began sending inappropriate messages to a female employee. She explained that she is not attracted to men and asked that he stop. He continued messaging her and started describing what he would do to her to make her like men, all very sexual. She told him she would go to HR and he told her to go for it as he'd already been investigated 11 times and he was untouchable each time. This has been going on since early March. A month ago she went to another supervisor asking for any help and John got wind of it. He began reporting her work as unacceptable to the department head. She was pulled in and told she had 90 days to improve or she'd be terminated. She proved the complaints made against her were false and they were dropped. She called HR to make a complaint directly and was told she'd be called back. It's been 2 weeks and she's called multiple times. No one has returned her calls. TL;DR: Male coworker has multiple incidents of sexual harassment. I know of 14 separate issues. He has, by his own admission, been investigated by HR 11 times. Nothing is being done. Our mostly female office feels unsafe around him. He feels untouchable. Is there anything that can be done? Can we threaten legal action against our HR department? Or our Department Head? Or him? Does he have to physically assault someone before any real action can be taken?
|
ig1ihl0
|
ig1js8j
| 1,657,745,815 | 1,657,746,330 | 46 | 464 |
My guess is John has some kind of political cover that's keeping him in that position. In the modern HR landscape this is a huge liability. This might rise to the level of hostile work environment that may lead to a lawsuit, especially if the ladies gather enough evidence and sue the agency rather than just John himself. Given John's pervasive history I would imagine there are a lot more incidents that haven't been brought to light.
|
I curious why no one is suggesting they consult an attorney. I mean you have a hell of a paper trail, multiple victims, potential clear pattern of behavior and lack of response from those in charge. At the very least, they would light a fire under someone's ass. Am I wrong in that this sounds expensive for a city to ignore?
| 0 | 515 | 10.086957 |
vyay3i
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
My coworkers and I feel that our HR department is refusing to keep us safe from a man known for sexual harassment. Can anything be done? I am a civil servant in a department that is approximately 90% women. We have a male department head and two male supervisors, one of whom became a supervisor in 2021. For simplicity sake, I will refer to him as John. John has worked in this field for 8 years and in that time accumulated multiple complaints for sexual harassment. 11 of those complains have made their way to HR. A 12th complaint is currently pending response from HR. These complaints have been made by a variety of people. The complaints I know of (made to HR or our Department head) are listed below, with a TL;DR version below that. 1 - 2016. John requested 2 female employees ask their friends to sleep with him and his wife. They declined to do so, he persisted, a complaint was made to the department head who chose not to involve HR. They were told John would be spoken to and that was the end of it. 2 - 2016. John started talking about a female employees body loudly to a group of people in front of her. He made comments about her butt and what he would like to do with it. She passed this on to our department head. He told her he would have a talk with John and others present to determine if this should be presented to HR. 3 - A month after incident 2, still 2016, John made the same employee uncomfortable again. While surrounded by a group of people he asked her to join him and his wife in bed. She immediately reported this directly to HR. HR advised that John would receive consequences that were to be kept private and told the female employee that discussing the incident further would put her at risk of termination. John used this to his advantage (and continues to do so) by lying to anyone that will listen about the circumstances of this report. He tells people she made everything up (despite witnesses) and she cannot defend herself. 4 - In 2017 John used his work email to post an ad on Craigslist requesting someone join him and his wife in bed. He was reading sexually explicit emails in response at work and discussing the possibilities with another coworker. This coworker reported the incident to a supervisor, who instructed John to take down the ad and use his personal email. 5 - In 2017 John complained about a new break policy that monitored break lengths. He admitted to a female coworker that he enjoyed taking long breaks as he would go into the restroom to watch porn on his phone and masturbate. This was reported to a supervisor, who passed it on to the department head, who said he would handle the situation. I do not know what, if anything, was done at this point. 6 - In 2017 someone from a neighboring business complained to our department head after John was seen groping a woman outside and in public while wearing our logo. I believe this made it to HR as our entire department was required to do sexual harassing training. 7 - 2018. While not necessarily harassment, John attempted to have our department head change policy to prevent women from wearing high heals or make up as, according to John, both are unnecessary and distract women from doing our jobs. During this time, John was known to approach female employees and critique our appearances (he wanted us to pluck our eyebrows differently, wear a different shade of blush, not wear fingernail polish, things like that.) 8 - 2018. John texted sexually explicit pictures to a female employee. She reported the texts to a supervisor, who told her she would handle the situation. I do not know what steps were taken and neither does the employee. We do believe HR was made aware as he complained about a write up around this time and the entire department was made to do sexual harassment training. 9 - 2019. John asked out a female employee who was married to a disabled woman. She declined. John started referring to the employees spouse as various vegetables when speaking with others. This was brought to HR and the entire department was made to do sensitivity training. I don't know of any personal consequences for John. 10 - 2020. During this time John divorced his wife. He began dating a new coworker who was not aware of the type of person he is. After she ended things John attempted to retaliate by telling the department head she was submitting subpar work. She proved this was incorrect, but for a moment her job was at risk. This was not brought to HR. 11 - 2021. John sent several messages to multiple female employees telling them how beautiful they are and how he'd love to be with them. Some chose to take this to a supervisor. Some did not. No one is really sure if it went further as they were told it was handled privately. 12 - 2021. At this point John ia a supervisor. It was found that he had moved in with a subordinate. He was temporarily stripped of his title and HR investigated. They agreed that he could return to his position as supervisor if he ended the relationship with his subordinate. 13 - 2022. John was speaking inappropriately to a female employee about her body. She asked him to stop. He responded by offering a tampon since, according to John, she must be on her period to have such an attitude. This was reported to HR. 14 - 2022. John began sending inappropriate messages to a female employee. She explained that she is not attracted to men and asked that he stop. He continued messaging her and started describing what he would do to her to make her like men, all very sexual. She told him she would go to HR and he told her to go for it as he'd already been investigated 11 times and he was untouchable each time. This has been going on since early March. A month ago she went to another supervisor asking for any help and John got wind of it. He began reporting her work as unacceptable to the department head. She was pulled in and told she had 90 days to improve or she'd be terminated. She proved the complaints made against her were false and they were dropped. She called HR to make a complaint directly and was told she'd be called back. It's been 2 weeks and she's called multiple times. No one has returned her calls. TL;DR: Male coworker has multiple incidents of sexual harassment. I know of 14 separate issues. He has, by his own admission, been investigated by HR 11 times. Nothing is being done. Our mostly female office feels unsafe around him. He feels untouchable. Is there anything that can be done? Can we threaten legal action against our HR department? Or our Department Head? Or him? Does he have to physically assault someone before any real action can be taken?
|
ig2b64v
|
ig1qy7r
| 1,657,757,965 | 1,657,749,234 | 238 | 144 |
I work for a law firm in the US. I highly suggest getting an attorney, particularly for the women that he had harassed within the last 180 days. You can always refer back to previous incidents, but the statute of limitations for sexual harassment claims is about two years from the date of incident, so I'm not sure how far back y'all can go for them. The EEOC process gets a little complicated when you work as a public employee, hence why I suggest seeing a legal representative who can help you out with your case. Good luck to y'all and I hope this disgusting human gets what's coming to him.
|
HR is never there to help you, they exist to limit the liability of the company. If HR is ignoring sexual harassment that is a direct violation of title 7 of the civil rights act. Report this to the EEOC, and they will do an investigation to determine whether or not to sue your employer.
| 1 | 8,731 | 1.652778 |
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