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85g3if
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
Problem with neighbor intentionally flashing a strobe light in my bedroom window [IL] Hi all, this may be a little different than what is posted here, but the folks at /r/HomeOwners advised me to post here too. Here is my problem: I have lived in my house for 2.5 years and have a great relationship with my neighbors, no issues until now. Last night at 4:30AM my girlfriend and I awoke to a strobe light pointed at my bedroom windows. Our houses are only 8ft apart, as it is an urban area. The neighbor who was doing this is elderly, in her late 80s, and lives alone. The strobe was pointed directly at my window, and appeared to be one of these "disorientation strobes" based on the frequency, size, and brightness. It made me a little nauseous looking at it when I woke up. At first we thought this was some sort of visual alarm (like they have for fire alarms for people that are hard of hearing), so I called the police to check on her. The light was turned off after the police came, and all was good. This morning, I gave my neighbor a call to make sure everything was OK. She became very wishy-washy with me, and eventually said she has a problem with me. I tried asking her what the problem was, and if there was anything I could do to fix it. She never said what the issue was, except that there was a “bad force” coming from my house and the light was there to help her sleep at night. She then continued to say that she notices whenever I am home, she has problems sleeping, but when I am away (I stay at my girlfriends 2-3 nights a week, and travel often) she doesn't. She said she goes to her sisters house and has no problems sleeping. I was confused how this strobe was going to help. During the conversation, she elaborated that we live in an urban area and there are many things that impact her sleep. I asked if it was my security light on a sensor in the back (it points away from her house, towards my garage, but some light from it does hit her back yard because our lots are only 25ft wide). I could not get a clear answer. She then said the police told her she must discontinue use of the light, but she will continue to take other actions as necessary. This started to bother me. I’m very confused by this, and I got a little short with her at the end; no swearing or anything, just a bit angered that she would do this intentionally. I basically told her I have been nothing but nice to her, and this is not a neighborly thing to do, then hung up. The conversation lasted 5-6 minutes. What should I do? It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? This seems so premeditated which has me puzzled. Just last month I talked to her on the phone, and she was very thankful that I shoveled her snow. She also called 3 weeks ago to inform me that my downspout diverter had been blown off, and no other indication of her being angry with me. Any ideas?
|
dvxdqf2
|
dvxocei
| 1,521,434,700 | 1,521,458,966 | 19 | 39 |
The police told you just about all you need to know. The light cant be on. She sounds like some crazy pseudo science spiritualist nutcase. Let her sprinkle her salt, hang her dream catchers, and burn her anti-demon candles. As long as her, and the effects of her craziness stays off your property, id say let it go. Something else happens, call the cops again. Meanwhile, id stop talking to her. If she thinks you're a demon from the 9th circle of satan's asshole, make like Elsa from Disney's hit movie Aladdin, and Let It Go.
|
I would also suggest- if she continues doing weird things keeping a written log of dates, times, what happened and how. This will if you have legal problems further down the road, show a record of erratic behavior. And as several other people suggested, security cameras, and etc. Another good question to ask is this- how in the hell is she always certain she knows when you are gone? I mean that's not really stalker-y, but it is cutting it close. Either she really is keeping tabs on you, via like making sure your vehicle is gone, or she is concluding you are gone because that is what her mind tells her. There is a big difference, and it still smacks of creepy.
| 0 | 24,266 | 2.052632 |
85g3if
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
Problem with neighbor intentionally flashing a strobe light in my bedroom window [IL] Hi all, this may be a little different than what is posted here, but the folks at /r/HomeOwners advised me to post here too. Here is my problem: I have lived in my house for 2.5 years and have a great relationship with my neighbors, no issues until now. Last night at 4:30AM my girlfriend and I awoke to a strobe light pointed at my bedroom windows. Our houses are only 8ft apart, as it is an urban area. The neighbor who was doing this is elderly, in her late 80s, and lives alone. The strobe was pointed directly at my window, and appeared to be one of these "disorientation strobes" based on the frequency, size, and brightness. It made me a little nauseous looking at it when I woke up. At first we thought this was some sort of visual alarm (like they have for fire alarms for people that are hard of hearing), so I called the police to check on her. The light was turned off after the police came, and all was good. This morning, I gave my neighbor a call to make sure everything was OK. She became very wishy-washy with me, and eventually said she has a problem with me. I tried asking her what the problem was, and if there was anything I could do to fix it. She never said what the issue was, except that there was a “bad force” coming from my house and the light was there to help her sleep at night. She then continued to say that she notices whenever I am home, she has problems sleeping, but when I am away (I stay at my girlfriends 2-3 nights a week, and travel often) she doesn't. She said she goes to her sisters house and has no problems sleeping. I was confused how this strobe was going to help. During the conversation, she elaborated that we live in an urban area and there are many things that impact her sleep. I asked if it was my security light on a sensor in the back (it points away from her house, towards my garage, but some light from it does hit her back yard because our lots are only 25ft wide). I could not get a clear answer. She then said the police told her she must discontinue use of the light, but she will continue to take other actions as necessary. This started to bother me. I’m very confused by this, and I got a little short with her at the end; no swearing or anything, just a bit angered that she would do this intentionally. I basically told her I have been nothing but nice to her, and this is not a neighborly thing to do, then hung up. The conversation lasted 5-6 minutes. What should I do? It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? This seems so premeditated which has me puzzled. Just last month I talked to her on the phone, and she was very thankful that I shoveled her snow. She also called 3 weeks ago to inform me that my downspout diverter had been blown off, and no other indication of her being angry with me. Any ideas?
|
dvxocei
|
dvxlvht
| 1,521,458,966 | 1,521,453,303 | 39 | 9 |
I would also suggest- if she continues doing weird things keeping a written log of dates, times, what happened and how. This will if you have legal problems further down the road, show a record of erratic behavior. And as several other people suggested, security cameras, and etc. Another good question to ask is this- how in the hell is she always certain she knows when you are gone? I mean that's not really stalker-y, but it is cutting it close. Either she really is keeping tabs on you, via like making sure your vehicle is gone, or she is concluding you are gone because that is what her mind tells her. There is a big difference, and it still smacks of creepy.
|
Blackout curtains are totally legal, if a tad expensive.
| 1 | 5,663 | 4.333333 |
85g3if
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
Problem with neighbor intentionally flashing a strobe light in my bedroom window [IL] Hi all, this may be a little different than what is posted here, but the folks at /r/HomeOwners advised me to post here too. Here is my problem: I have lived in my house for 2.5 years and have a great relationship with my neighbors, no issues until now. Last night at 4:30AM my girlfriend and I awoke to a strobe light pointed at my bedroom windows. Our houses are only 8ft apart, as it is an urban area. The neighbor who was doing this is elderly, in her late 80s, and lives alone. The strobe was pointed directly at my window, and appeared to be one of these "disorientation strobes" based on the frequency, size, and brightness. It made me a little nauseous looking at it when I woke up. At first we thought this was some sort of visual alarm (like they have for fire alarms for people that are hard of hearing), so I called the police to check on her. The light was turned off after the police came, and all was good. This morning, I gave my neighbor a call to make sure everything was OK. She became very wishy-washy with me, and eventually said she has a problem with me. I tried asking her what the problem was, and if there was anything I could do to fix it. She never said what the issue was, except that there was a “bad force” coming from my house and the light was there to help her sleep at night. She then continued to say that she notices whenever I am home, she has problems sleeping, but when I am away (I stay at my girlfriends 2-3 nights a week, and travel often) she doesn't. She said she goes to her sisters house and has no problems sleeping. I was confused how this strobe was going to help. During the conversation, she elaborated that we live in an urban area and there are many things that impact her sleep. I asked if it was my security light on a sensor in the back (it points away from her house, towards my garage, but some light from it does hit her back yard because our lots are only 25ft wide). I could not get a clear answer. She then said the police told her she must discontinue use of the light, but she will continue to take other actions as necessary. This started to bother me. I’m very confused by this, and I got a little short with her at the end; no swearing or anything, just a bit angered that she would do this intentionally. I basically told her I have been nothing but nice to her, and this is not a neighborly thing to do, then hung up. The conversation lasted 5-6 minutes. What should I do? It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? This seems so premeditated which has me puzzled. Just last month I talked to her on the phone, and she was very thankful that I shoveled her snow. She also called 3 weeks ago to inform me that my downspout diverter had been blown off, and no other indication of her being angry with me. Any ideas?
|
dvxocei
|
dvxbsod
| 1,521,458,966 | 1,521,431,906 | 39 | 3 |
I would also suggest- if she continues doing weird things keeping a written log of dates, times, what happened and how. This will if you have legal problems further down the road, show a record of erratic behavior. And as several other people suggested, security cameras, and etc. Another good question to ask is this- how in the hell is she always certain she knows when you are gone? I mean that's not really stalker-y, but it is cutting it close. Either she really is keeping tabs on you, via like making sure your vehicle is gone, or she is concluding you are gone because that is what her mind tells her. There is a big difference, and it still smacks of creepy.
|
Old people do all sorts of weird things for whatever reason, maybe it's all the time on their hands and loneliness. I don't think she's crazy, it sounds like she's just weird and trying to get a rise out of you maybe. I would set up security cameras and document whatever weird things she'll continue to do.
| 1 | 27,060 | 13 |
85g3if
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
Problem with neighbor intentionally flashing a strobe light in my bedroom window [IL] Hi all, this may be a little different than what is posted here, but the folks at /r/HomeOwners advised me to post here too. Here is my problem: I have lived in my house for 2.5 years and have a great relationship with my neighbors, no issues until now. Last night at 4:30AM my girlfriend and I awoke to a strobe light pointed at my bedroom windows. Our houses are only 8ft apart, as it is an urban area. The neighbor who was doing this is elderly, in her late 80s, and lives alone. The strobe was pointed directly at my window, and appeared to be one of these "disorientation strobes" based on the frequency, size, and brightness. It made me a little nauseous looking at it when I woke up. At first we thought this was some sort of visual alarm (like they have for fire alarms for people that are hard of hearing), so I called the police to check on her. The light was turned off after the police came, and all was good. This morning, I gave my neighbor a call to make sure everything was OK. She became very wishy-washy with me, and eventually said she has a problem with me. I tried asking her what the problem was, and if there was anything I could do to fix it. She never said what the issue was, except that there was a “bad force” coming from my house and the light was there to help her sleep at night. She then continued to say that she notices whenever I am home, she has problems sleeping, but when I am away (I stay at my girlfriends 2-3 nights a week, and travel often) she doesn't. She said she goes to her sisters house and has no problems sleeping. I was confused how this strobe was going to help. During the conversation, she elaborated that we live in an urban area and there are many things that impact her sleep. I asked if it was my security light on a sensor in the back (it points away from her house, towards my garage, but some light from it does hit her back yard because our lots are only 25ft wide). I could not get a clear answer. She then said the police told her she must discontinue use of the light, but she will continue to take other actions as necessary. This started to bother me. I’m very confused by this, and I got a little short with her at the end; no swearing or anything, just a bit angered that she would do this intentionally. I basically told her I have been nothing but nice to her, and this is not a neighborly thing to do, then hung up. The conversation lasted 5-6 minutes. What should I do? It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? This seems so premeditated which has me puzzled. Just last month I talked to her on the phone, and she was very thankful that I shoveled her snow. She also called 3 weeks ago to inform me that my downspout diverter had been blown off, and no other indication of her being angry with me. Any ideas?
|
dvxbsod
|
dvxdqf2
| 1,521,431,906 | 1,521,434,700 | 3 | 19 |
Old people do all sorts of weird things for whatever reason, maybe it's all the time on their hands and loneliness. I don't think she's crazy, it sounds like she's just weird and trying to get a rise out of you maybe. I would set up security cameras and document whatever weird things she'll continue to do.
|
The police told you just about all you need to know. The light cant be on. She sounds like some crazy pseudo science spiritualist nutcase. Let her sprinkle her salt, hang her dream catchers, and burn her anti-demon candles. As long as her, and the effects of her craziness stays off your property, id say let it go. Something else happens, call the cops again. Meanwhile, id stop talking to her. If she thinks you're a demon from the 9th circle of satan's asshole, make like Elsa from Disney's hit movie Aladdin, and Let It Go.
| 0 | 2,794 | 6.333333 |
85g3if
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
Problem with neighbor intentionally flashing a strobe light in my bedroom window [IL] Hi all, this may be a little different than what is posted here, but the folks at /r/HomeOwners advised me to post here too. Here is my problem: I have lived in my house for 2.5 years and have a great relationship with my neighbors, no issues until now. Last night at 4:30AM my girlfriend and I awoke to a strobe light pointed at my bedroom windows. Our houses are only 8ft apart, as it is an urban area. The neighbor who was doing this is elderly, in her late 80s, and lives alone. The strobe was pointed directly at my window, and appeared to be one of these "disorientation strobes" based on the frequency, size, and brightness. It made me a little nauseous looking at it when I woke up. At first we thought this was some sort of visual alarm (like they have for fire alarms for people that are hard of hearing), so I called the police to check on her. The light was turned off after the police came, and all was good. This morning, I gave my neighbor a call to make sure everything was OK. She became very wishy-washy with me, and eventually said she has a problem with me. I tried asking her what the problem was, and if there was anything I could do to fix it. She never said what the issue was, except that there was a “bad force” coming from my house and the light was there to help her sleep at night. She then continued to say that she notices whenever I am home, she has problems sleeping, but when I am away (I stay at my girlfriends 2-3 nights a week, and travel often) she doesn't. She said she goes to her sisters house and has no problems sleeping. I was confused how this strobe was going to help. During the conversation, she elaborated that we live in an urban area and there are many things that impact her sleep. I asked if it was my security light on a sensor in the back (it points away from her house, towards my garage, but some light from it does hit her back yard because our lots are only 25ft wide). I could not get a clear answer. She then said the police told her she must discontinue use of the light, but she will continue to take other actions as necessary. This started to bother me. I’m very confused by this, and I got a little short with her at the end; no swearing or anything, just a bit angered that she would do this intentionally. I basically told her I have been nothing but nice to her, and this is not a neighborly thing to do, then hung up. The conversation lasted 5-6 minutes. What should I do? It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? This seems so premeditated which has me puzzled. Just last month I talked to her on the phone, and she was very thankful that I shoveled her snow. She also called 3 weeks ago to inform me that my downspout diverter had been blown off, and no other indication of her being angry with me. Any ideas?
|
dvy5zlp
|
dvxlvht
| 1,521,479,110 | 1,521,453,303 | 16 | 9 |
> It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? Good on you for recognizing this. And bad on everyone else for calling old people "crazy". You got some solid advice, but keep the paper trail growing (respectfully).
|
Blackout curtains are totally legal, if a tad expensive.
| 1 | 25,807 | 1.777778 |
85g3if
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
Problem with neighbor intentionally flashing a strobe light in my bedroom window [IL] Hi all, this may be a little different than what is posted here, but the folks at /r/HomeOwners advised me to post here too. Here is my problem: I have lived in my house for 2.5 years and have a great relationship with my neighbors, no issues until now. Last night at 4:30AM my girlfriend and I awoke to a strobe light pointed at my bedroom windows. Our houses are only 8ft apart, as it is an urban area. The neighbor who was doing this is elderly, in her late 80s, and lives alone. The strobe was pointed directly at my window, and appeared to be one of these "disorientation strobes" based on the frequency, size, and brightness. It made me a little nauseous looking at it when I woke up. At first we thought this was some sort of visual alarm (like they have for fire alarms for people that are hard of hearing), so I called the police to check on her. The light was turned off after the police came, and all was good. This morning, I gave my neighbor a call to make sure everything was OK. She became very wishy-washy with me, and eventually said she has a problem with me. I tried asking her what the problem was, and if there was anything I could do to fix it. She never said what the issue was, except that there was a “bad force” coming from my house and the light was there to help her sleep at night. She then continued to say that she notices whenever I am home, she has problems sleeping, but when I am away (I stay at my girlfriends 2-3 nights a week, and travel often) she doesn't. She said she goes to her sisters house and has no problems sleeping. I was confused how this strobe was going to help. During the conversation, she elaborated that we live in an urban area and there are many things that impact her sleep. I asked if it was my security light on a sensor in the back (it points away from her house, towards my garage, but some light from it does hit her back yard because our lots are only 25ft wide). I could not get a clear answer. She then said the police told her she must discontinue use of the light, but she will continue to take other actions as necessary. This started to bother me. I’m very confused by this, and I got a little short with her at the end; no swearing or anything, just a bit angered that she would do this intentionally. I basically told her I have been nothing but nice to her, and this is not a neighborly thing to do, then hung up. The conversation lasted 5-6 minutes. What should I do? It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? This seems so premeditated which has me puzzled. Just last month I talked to her on the phone, and she was very thankful that I shoveled her snow. She also called 3 weeks ago to inform me that my downspout diverter had been blown off, and no other indication of her being angry with me. Any ideas?
|
dvy5zlp
|
dvxbsod
| 1,521,479,110 | 1,521,431,906 | 16 | 3 |
> It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? Good on you for recognizing this. And bad on everyone else for calling old people "crazy". You got some solid advice, but keep the paper trail growing (respectfully).
|
Old people do all sorts of weird things for whatever reason, maybe it's all the time on their hands and loneliness. I don't think she's crazy, it sounds like she's just weird and trying to get a rise out of you maybe. I would set up security cameras and document whatever weird things she'll continue to do.
| 1 | 47,204 | 5.333333 |
85g3if
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
Problem with neighbor intentionally flashing a strobe light in my bedroom window [IL] Hi all, this may be a little different than what is posted here, but the folks at /r/HomeOwners advised me to post here too. Here is my problem: I have lived in my house for 2.5 years and have a great relationship with my neighbors, no issues until now. Last night at 4:30AM my girlfriend and I awoke to a strobe light pointed at my bedroom windows. Our houses are only 8ft apart, as it is an urban area. The neighbor who was doing this is elderly, in her late 80s, and lives alone. The strobe was pointed directly at my window, and appeared to be one of these "disorientation strobes" based on the frequency, size, and brightness. It made me a little nauseous looking at it when I woke up. At first we thought this was some sort of visual alarm (like they have for fire alarms for people that are hard of hearing), so I called the police to check on her. The light was turned off after the police came, and all was good. This morning, I gave my neighbor a call to make sure everything was OK. She became very wishy-washy with me, and eventually said she has a problem with me. I tried asking her what the problem was, and if there was anything I could do to fix it. She never said what the issue was, except that there was a “bad force” coming from my house and the light was there to help her sleep at night. She then continued to say that she notices whenever I am home, she has problems sleeping, but when I am away (I stay at my girlfriends 2-3 nights a week, and travel often) she doesn't. She said she goes to her sisters house and has no problems sleeping. I was confused how this strobe was going to help. During the conversation, she elaborated that we live in an urban area and there are many things that impact her sleep. I asked if it was my security light on a sensor in the back (it points away from her house, towards my garage, but some light from it does hit her back yard because our lots are only 25ft wide). I could not get a clear answer. She then said the police told her she must discontinue use of the light, but she will continue to take other actions as necessary. This started to bother me. I’m very confused by this, and I got a little short with her at the end; no swearing or anything, just a bit angered that she would do this intentionally. I basically told her I have been nothing but nice to her, and this is not a neighborly thing to do, then hung up. The conversation lasted 5-6 minutes. What should I do? It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? This seems so premeditated which has me puzzled. Just last month I talked to her on the phone, and she was very thankful that I shoveled her snow. She also called 3 weeks ago to inform me that my downspout diverter had been blown off, and no other indication of her being angry with me. Any ideas?
|
dvxlvht
|
dvxbsod
| 1,521,453,303 | 1,521,431,906 | 9 | 3 |
Blackout curtains are totally legal, if a tad expensive.
|
Old people do all sorts of weird things for whatever reason, maybe it's all the time on their hands and loneliness. I don't think she's crazy, it sounds like she's just weird and trying to get a rise out of you maybe. I would set up security cameras and document whatever weird things she'll continue to do.
| 1 | 21,397 | 3 |
85g3if
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
Problem with neighbor intentionally flashing a strobe light in my bedroom window [IL] Hi all, this may be a little different than what is posted here, but the folks at /r/HomeOwners advised me to post here too. Here is my problem: I have lived in my house for 2.5 years and have a great relationship with my neighbors, no issues until now. Last night at 4:30AM my girlfriend and I awoke to a strobe light pointed at my bedroom windows. Our houses are only 8ft apart, as it is an urban area. The neighbor who was doing this is elderly, in her late 80s, and lives alone. The strobe was pointed directly at my window, and appeared to be one of these "disorientation strobes" based on the frequency, size, and brightness. It made me a little nauseous looking at it when I woke up. At first we thought this was some sort of visual alarm (like they have for fire alarms for people that are hard of hearing), so I called the police to check on her. The light was turned off after the police came, and all was good. This morning, I gave my neighbor a call to make sure everything was OK. She became very wishy-washy with me, and eventually said she has a problem with me. I tried asking her what the problem was, and if there was anything I could do to fix it. She never said what the issue was, except that there was a “bad force” coming from my house and the light was there to help her sleep at night. She then continued to say that she notices whenever I am home, she has problems sleeping, but when I am away (I stay at my girlfriends 2-3 nights a week, and travel often) she doesn't. She said she goes to her sisters house and has no problems sleeping. I was confused how this strobe was going to help. During the conversation, she elaborated that we live in an urban area and there are many things that impact her sleep. I asked if it was my security light on a sensor in the back (it points away from her house, towards my garage, but some light from it does hit her back yard because our lots are only 25ft wide). I could not get a clear answer. She then said the police told her she must discontinue use of the light, but she will continue to take other actions as necessary. This started to bother me. I’m very confused by this, and I got a little short with her at the end; no swearing or anything, just a bit angered that she would do this intentionally. I basically told her I have been nothing but nice to her, and this is not a neighborly thing to do, then hung up. The conversation lasted 5-6 minutes. What should I do? It almost sounds to me like she has dementia. I've had one or two odd interactions with her in the past (not remembering who I was when saying hi, seeing her pick through her garbage cans). I am more worried for her own health than anything. Do I call the police? Call adult protective services? This seems so premeditated which has me puzzled. Just last month I talked to her on the phone, and she was very thankful that I shoveled her snow. She also called 3 weeks ago to inform me that my downspout diverter had been blown off, and no other indication of her being angry with me. Any ideas?
|
dvyq0y1
|
dvxbsod
| 1,521,498,053 | 1,521,431,906 | 6 | 3 |
Sounds as though is having dementia symptoms. I work for APS and they likely can't do anything because she's not at risk at this time, but they may be able to connect her with services.
|
Old people do all sorts of weird things for whatever reason, maybe it's all the time on their hands and loneliness. I don't think she's crazy, it sounds like she's just weird and trying to get a rise out of you maybe. I would set up security cameras and document whatever weird things she'll continue to do.
| 1 | 66,147 | 2 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtwtcqz
|
dtwtn4a
| 1,518,057,058 | 1,518,057,378 | 307 | 971 |
Not renting to someone with children is discrimination and illegal. Deciding not to live in a house with children is a personal choice and has no legal implications whatsoever. She can't force you to live with her. Just like a real estate agent can't force you to rent a house without a signed lease agreement. She can pound sand. Hopefully the 13yo's name isn't Sand...
|
Keep copies of her messages and be thankful for the bullet dodged. Having the balls to argue that viewing a room was some sort of promise to occupy it indicates she would have been a flatmate or landlord from hell.
| 0 | 320 | 3.162866 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtwtn4a
|
dtwso0u
| 1,518,057,378 | 1,518,056,302 | 971 | 144 |
Keep copies of her messages and be thankful for the bullet dodged. Having the balls to argue that viewing a room was some sort of promise to occupy it indicates she would have been a flatmate or landlord from hell.
|
You are in fact discriminating against her. It's just not *illegal* discrimination. All "discrimination" means is "applying some kind of filter to the list of options". Choosing a particular vintage of wine is "discriminating". Picking out a new car is "discriminating". Choosing your living circumstances is "discriminating". Some types of discrimination are immoral and illegal -- refusing to rent to a person with children might be (it is in most places in the US other than specific senior-living places). Refusing to make a cake for a type of wedding you don't like might be illegal. "I am single. Why should I have to deal with someone else's ankie-biters?" is neither immoral nor illegal.
| 1 | 1,076 | 6.743056 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtwso0u
|
dtwtcqz
| 1,518,056,302 | 1,518,057,058 | 144 | 307 |
You are in fact discriminating against her. It's just not *illegal* discrimination. All "discrimination" means is "applying some kind of filter to the list of options". Choosing a particular vintage of wine is "discriminating". Picking out a new car is "discriminating". Choosing your living circumstances is "discriminating". Some types of discrimination are immoral and illegal -- refusing to rent to a person with children might be (it is in most places in the US other than specific senior-living places). Refusing to make a cake for a type of wedding you don't like might be illegal. "I am single. Why should I have to deal with someone else's ankie-biters?" is neither immoral nor illegal.
|
Not renting to someone with children is discrimination and illegal. Deciding not to live in a house with children is a personal choice and has no legal implications whatsoever. She can't force you to live with her. Just like a real estate agent can't force you to rent a house without a signed lease agreement. She can pound sand. Hopefully the 13yo's name isn't Sand...
| 0 | 756 | 2.131944 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtxccrs
|
dtxcgmg
| 1,518,090,102 | 1,518,090,341 | 16 | 94 |
You cannot be sued for inspecting a room and then deciding not to rent the room, this woman is insane. An inspection is not a commitment to rent. Every property for lease in the history of forever allows inspection prior to a commitment
|
She's 100% full of shit. - Don't contact her - Keep a backup of the messages - Proceed to live your life with a funny story to tell at parties
| 0 | 239 | 5.875 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtxcgmg
|
dtwvv8a
| 1,518,090,341 | 1,518,059,878 | 94 | 14 |
She's 100% full of shit. - Don't contact her - Keep a backup of the messages - Proceed to live your life with a funny story to tell at parties
|
What she is saying is a croc of shit. Don't worry about it unless you get some sort of legal notice. In that case, the judge will probably laugh her out of court (you may still want to consult with a lawyer). /r/Auslegal will probably be better suited for you future legal questions as this sub focuses mainly on the US and Canada.
| 1 | 30,463 | 6.714286 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtxcgmg
|
dtx28aw
| 1,518,090,341 | 1,518,068,029 | 94 | 13 |
She's 100% full of shit. - Don't contact her - Keep a backup of the messages - Proceed to live your life with a funny story to tell at parties
|
As per other comments she's full of it. Check details on consumer affairs site, including the red book. No lease signed, and taking a look at a room is not a "promise" by any stretch. What if you'd taken a look and it was horrible?
| 1 | 22,312 | 7.230769 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtxccrs
|
dtwvv8a
| 1,518,090,102 | 1,518,059,878 | 16 | 14 |
You cannot be sued for inspecting a room and then deciding not to rent the room, this woman is insane. An inspection is not a commitment to rent. Every property for lease in the history of forever allows inspection prior to a commitment
|
What she is saying is a croc of shit. Don't worry about it unless you get some sort of legal notice. In that case, the judge will probably laugh her out of court (you may still want to consult with a lawyer). /r/Auslegal will probably be better suited for you future legal questions as this sub focuses mainly on the US and Canada.
| 1 | 30,224 | 1.142857 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtxccrs
|
dtx28aw
| 1,518,090,102 | 1,518,068,029 | 16 | 13 |
You cannot be sued for inspecting a room and then deciding not to rent the room, this woman is insane. An inspection is not a commitment to rent. Every property for lease in the history of forever allows inspection prior to a commitment
|
As per other comments she's full of it. Check details on consumer affairs site, including the red book. No lease signed, and taking a look at a room is not a "promise" by any stretch. What if you'd taken a look and it was horrible?
| 1 | 22,073 | 1.230769 |
7w0snu
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Victoria, Australia] Woman threatening to sue me for discrimination because I don't want to live with her kids. Hi all, I recently moved to Melbourne Australia from Queensland and have been looking for a place to live. I found the perfect house on a roommates website. Location was brilliant, close to my new job, and it wasn't too expensive either. I sent a woman a message and she invited me around to have a look. The room itself was perfect, pretty much exactly what I was looking for. As we were talking in the living room, 3 children came through the front door and I asked her if they were family and she told me they were her kids. I told her when I left that I'd think about the room and get back to her. Well, I thought about it and decided I don't want to live with kids. Nothing against them, but that's not my lifestyle. I drink, I swear and sometimes I get cranky. Also there was a tense moment between the mother and her oldest kid while I was still there. Awkward, right? Nobody wants to be around a screaming match between a parent and a 13 year old. I messaged the woman on the website and thanked her for her time, but I didn't want to live around children. Now she's come back, sending me angry messages daily about how I'm discriminating against her for having children and that she's going to sue me for the cost of the lease of the bedroom because in her eyes, me coming to have a look at the room was a "promise". 90% of me knows she's talking through her ass, but are there any bases I should have covered in case anything happens?
|
dtyedor
|
dtxrrys
| 1,518,128,722 | 1,518,108,988 | 9 | 8 |
Message her that you want a place where you can drink and smoke in the common areas as well as occasionally make out with your girlfriend in the living room. She will call you a pig and never talk to you again
|
On the bright side, you learned about her being crazy *before* you were committed.
| 1 | 19,734 | 1.125 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2picj6
|
d2pdmh4
| 1,462,188,363 | 1,462,171,414 | 92 | 49 |
Since no-one mentioned it yet, while she's likely just spouting, if she *does* sue, you need to respond. You'll likely win, but you can't just ignore it.
|
Is this a pay parking lot? And if so, has she been paying?
| 1 | 16,949 | 1.877551 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pdikk
|
d2picj6
| 1,462,171,074 | 1,462,188,363 | 22 | 92 |
She's just shouting. She's going to be too busy with her other problems to ever get around to suing you.
|
Since no-one mentioned it yet, while she's likely just spouting, if she *does* sue, you need to respond. You'll likely win, but you can't just ignore it.
| 0 | 17,289 | 4.181818 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pg20g
|
d2picj6
| 1,462,180,132 | 1,462,188,363 | 13 | 92 |
This lady is out of her damned mind. I'm sure she could find some gutter scum lawyer somewhere that might try to write a scary letter, but any lawyer who filed suit would find themselves not a lawyer much longer.
|
Since no-one mentioned it yet, while she's likely just spouting, if she *does* sue, you need to respond. You'll likely win, but you can't just ignore it.
| 0 | 8,231 | 7.076923 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pnrzf
|
d2pdmh4
| 1,462,199,563 | 1,462,171,414 | 52 | 49 |
Unrelated to the screaming lady, maybe don't tell people that you have fake cameras, let alone which ones are fake. I usually just tell people who ask for footage that they'll have to send a police officer with the appropriate paperwork, and we will cooperate fully with the law.
|
Is this a pay parking lot? And if so, has she been paying?
| 1 | 28,149 | 1.061224 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pnrzf
|
d2piky4
| 1,462,199,563 | 1,462,189,032 | 52 | 21 |
Unrelated to the screaming lady, maybe don't tell people that you have fake cameras, let alone which ones are fake. I usually just tell people who ask for footage that they'll have to send a police officer with the appropriate paperwork, and we will cooperate fully with the law.
|
> After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. The headline here is ignore, unless she files. And when I say ignore I mean, don't lose sleep, don't discuss with colleagues, don't worry about having to pay, don't mentally write responses to imaginary suits, etc, etc.
| 1 | 10,531 | 2.47619 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pnrzf
|
d2pdikk
| 1,462,199,563 | 1,462,171,074 | 52 | 22 |
Unrelated to the screaming lady, maybe don't tell people that you have fake cameras, let alone which ones are fake. I usually just tell people who ask for footage that they'll have to send a police officer with the appropriate paperwork, and we will cooperate fully with the law.
|
She's just shouting. She's going to be too busy with her other problems to ever get around to suing you.
| 1 | 28,489 | 2.363636 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pnrzf
|
d2pkp3r
| 1,462,199,563 | 1,462,194,115 | 52 | 19 |
Unrelated to the screaming lady, maybe don't tell people that you have fake cameras, let alone which ones are fake. I usually just tell people who ask for footage that they'll have to send a police officer with the appropriate paperwork, and we will cooperate fully with the law.
|
Any well written loan contract allows for the repossession of the vehicle by the bank or its agents when the loan is in default. It sounds like the repo men spent alot more time talking to you than they typically do, usually its either show up and grab it, or maybe a short check with the manager.
| 1 | 5,448 | 2.736842 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pg20g
|
d2pnrzf
| 1,462,180,132 | 1,462,199,563 | 13 | 52 |
This lady is out of her damned mind. I'm sure she could find some gutter scum lawyer somewhere that might try to write a scary letter, but any lawyer who filed suit would find themselves not a lawyer much longer.
|
Unrelated to the screaming lady, maybe don't tell people that you have fake cameras, let alone which ones are fake. I usually just tell people who ask for footage that they'll have to send a police officer with the appropriate paperwork, and we will cooperate fully with the law.
| 0 | 19,431 | 4 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pnou1
|
d2pnrzf
| 1,462,199,426 | 1,462,199,563 | 9 | 52 |
What did she expect you to do? Go out and stand behind the car all day? Unless the car is in a garage or behind a locked gate their is not much you can do to stop them from repossessing it (except pay the bills on time). Even if you had footage of them taking it I don't see how it would help her. The only thing it would show is a legal repo. The fact that they took it is not in question. Unless she is trying to claim they damaged the car her request is pointless. She is completely out of her mind. She is just trying to blame anyone else but herself for her predicament. As others have already said just ignore her unless you are served. I'm impressed that the repo people found the car parked in the middle of no where. I wonder if it had a GPS tracker on it. The fact that it was parked there for so long tells me that she was expecting the repo and was trying to hide from it.
|
Unrelated to the screaming lady, maybe don't tell people that you have fake cameras, let alone which ones are fake. I usually just tell people who ask for footage that they'll have to send a police officer with the appropriate paperwork, and we will cooperate fully with the law.
| 0 | 137 | 5.777778 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pdikk
|
d2pdmh4
| 1,462,171,074 | 1,462,171,414 | 22 | 49 |
She's just shouting. She's going to be too busy with her other problems to ever get around to suing you.
|
Is this a pay parking lot? And if so, has she been paying?
| 0 | 340 | 2.227273 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pg20g
|
d2piky4
| 1,462,180,132 | 1,462,189,032 | 13 | 21 |
This lady is out of her damned mind. I'm sure she could find some gutter scum lawyer somewhere that might try to write a scary letter, but any lawyer who filed suit would find themselves not a lawyer much longer.
|
> After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. The headline here is ignore, unless she files. And when I say ignore I mean, don't lose sleep, don't discuss with colleagues, don't worry about having to pay, don't mentally write responses to imaginary suits, etc, etc.
| 0 | 8,900 | 1.615385 |
4hexj7
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Woman threatening to sue because I did not prevent her car from being repossessed (Missouri) Some lady left her car in the parking lot where I work for nearly 2 months. Two guys showed up last week and asked to speak to someone who doesn't and has never worked with me. They asked how long the car had been there and if anyone has come by to check on it or whatever. Told them it's been a couple months and no, hadn't seen anybody come back for it and never saw the person who initially parked it there. Turns out they were repo men and had been looking for this lady and her car for almost a week. They verified one last time that the car was not mine or someone else who works with me, then towed it away. They didn't ask me for permission or to sign anything, they just took it. Former owner of the car came in two days and started throwing a fit about her car being repoed and why I would let them take it. I told her it wasn't my car or my problem and that I had no authority to tell them they couldn't tow it. She said by allowing them to take it that I had broken the law because I helped them steal her car and I had no right to assist them in taking someone else's property. She also demanded to see security footage of the day it was taken to which I responded by telling her to get lost and that it wouldnt help her anyway because the cameras on that side are fake. According to her, fake security cams are also illegal. After she was done being an asshole and yelling, she told me I'd be hearing from her lawyer and left. I just said okay and shrugged it off. This lady is out of her damned mind, right? Would any lawyer actually take up this case? If she managed to find one that would, am I correct in thinking there's no way she would win in court? It's not my fault she picked a shitty place to hide her vehicle.
|
d2pg20g
|
d2pkp3r
| 1,462,180,132 | 1,462,194,115 | 13 | 19 |
This lady is out of her damned mind. I'm sure she could find some gutter scum lawyer somewhere that might try to write a scary letter, but any lawyer who filed suit would find themselves not a lawyer much longer.
|
Any well written loan contract allows for the repossession of the vehicle by the bank or its agents when the loan is in default. It sounds like the repo men spent alot more time talking to you than they typically do, usually its either show up and grab it, or maybe a short check with the manager.
| 0 | 13,983 | 1.461538 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbkab92
|
dbk3uu9
| 1,482,536,268 | 1,482,526,358 | 1,602 | 467 |
I am not a lawyer, but I do have a peanut allergy, and last month I was in the hospital for four days after having an emergency c-section. An entire building full of medical professionals, in which each and every person who examined, monitored, or treated me had me confirm my medical details first. And yet I still asked the person bringing me food if it was peanut free, at every meal, even if that same person had fed me before, and even though it was all over my chart in bright red letters. Just like I would at a restaurant or a family dinner. Just like I do when my HUSBAND brings me food made from groceries I didn't personally buy. I have turned down food from my SPOUSE because he couldn't remember if he'd read the ingredients list beforehand. Because that's what you fucking do if you don't want to die a rashy death. Just in case she'd made you feel like this was somehow your fault. It's not. She's bad at having allergies.
|
>Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? No, IMO. The responsibility to inquire was hers.
| 1 | 9,910 | 3.430407 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbkab92
|
dbk5g7e
| 1,482,536,268 | 1,482,528,767 | 1,602 | 339 |
I am not a lawyer, but I do have a peanut allergy, and last month I was in the hospital for four days after having an emergency c-section. An entire building full of medical professionals, in which each and every person who examined, monitored, or treated me had me confirm my medical details first. And yet I still asked the person bringing me food if it was peanut free, at every meal, even if that same person had fed me before, and even though it was all over my chart in bright red letters. Just like I would at a restaurant or a family dinner. Just like I do when my HUSBAND brings me food made from groceries I didn't personally buy. I have turned down food from my SPOUSE because he couldn't remember if he'd read the ingredients list beforehand. Because that's what you fucking do if you don't want to die a rashy death. Just in case she'd made you feel like this was somehow your fault. It's not. She's bad at having allergies.
|
For xmas, get her a nice indoor meditation sand garden so she can pound it.
| 1 | 7,501 | 4.725664 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3p46
|
dbkab92
| 1,482,526,122 | 1,482,536,268 | 312 | 1,602 |
Same answer as before. She doesn't have much of a case, but she might sue you in small claims court. You'll probably win. You could consider getting your home owner's insurance involved.
|
I am not a lawyer, but I do have a peanut allergy, and last month I was in the hospital for four days after having an emergency c-section. An entire building full of medical professionals, in which each and every person who examined, monitored, or treated me had me confirm my medical details first. And yet I still asked the person bringing me food if it was peanut free, at every meal, even if that same person had fed me before, and even though it was all over my chart in bright red letters. Just like I would at a restaurant or a family dinner. Just like I do when my HUSBAND brings me food made from groceries I didn't personally buy. I have turned down food from my SPOUSE because he couldn't remember if he'd read the ingredients list beforehand. Because that's what you fucking do if you don't want to die a rashy death. Just in case she'd made you feel like this was somehow your fault. It's not. She's bad at having allergies.
| 0 | 10,146 | 5.134615 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3u8n
|
dbkab92
| 1,482,526,333 | 1,482,536,268 | 41 | 1,602 |
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
|
I am not a lawyer, but I do have a peanut allergy, and last month I was in the hospital for four days after having an emergency c-section. An entire building full of medical professionals, in which each and every person who examined, monitored, or treated me had me confirm my medical details first. And yet I still asked the person bringing me food if it was peanut free, at every meal, even if that same person had fed me before, and even though it was all over my chart in bright red letters. Just like I would at a restaurant or a family dinner. Just like I do when my HUSBAND brings me food made from groceries I didn't personally buy. I have turned down food from my SPOUSE because he couldn't remember if he'd read the ingredients list beforehand. Because that's what you fucking do if you don't want to die a rashy death. Just in case she'd made you feel like this was somehow your fault. It's not. She's bad at having allergies.
| 0 | 9,935 | 39.073171 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3uu9
|
dbk3p46
| 1,482,526,358 | 1,482,526,122 | 467 | 312 |
>Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? No, IMO. The responsibility to inquire was hers.
|
Same answer as before. She doesn't have much of a case, but she might sue you in small claims court. You'll probably win. You could consider getting your home owner's insurance involved.
| 1 | 236 | 1.496795 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3u8n
|
dbk3uu9
| 1,482,526,333 | 1,482,526,358 | 41 | 467 |
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
|
>Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? No, IMO. The responsibility to inquire was hers.
| 0 | 25 | 11.390244 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3p46
|
dbk5g7e
| 1,482,526,122 | 1,482,528,767 | 312 | 339 |
Same answer as before. She doesn't have much of a case, but she might sue you in small claims court. You'll probably win. You could consider getting your home owner's insurance involved.
|
For xmas, get her a nice indoor meditation sand garden so she can pound it.
| 0 | 2,645 | 1.086538 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3u8n
|
dbk5g7e
| 1,482,526,333 | 1,482,528,767 | 41 | 339 |
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
|
For xmas, get her a nice indoor meditation sand garden so she can pound it.
| 0 | 2,434 | 8.268293 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbkcot1
|
dbk3u8n
| 1,482,540,175 | 1,482,526,333 | 310 | 41 |
Attorney from Pennsylvania here...so this is just based on Pennsylvania law. Unless she asked you beforehand about whether peanuts were used in any foods being served (and you misinformed her), you have no obligation to inquire about her allergies or inform her about the presence of certain ingredients used. You're just a social host. Based on the facts you provided, it doesn't seem that she can show that you had any malicious intent or acted negligently. I don't think she really has a case and would really just be wasting her time and money. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't sweat about it. Once again, though, this is only how I'd evaluate it under Pennsylvania law. I don't know if Washington law deviates substantially in any relevant or meaningful way.
|
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
| 1 | 13,842 | 7.560976 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbke5ik
|
dbki5rp
| 1,482,542,591 | 1,482,549,316 | 52 | 60 |
Oh lord, I wish her luck in the lawsuit because she is going to lose terribly. It is on her to check that she would be able to consume something, just because something typically contains a certain thing doesn't mean people don't make it with substitutions. Ask 100 chefs how they make a vinaigrette and what ingredients to use and you will get 100 different answers. I personally am allergic to hops, so I always have to ask if someone used beer in something.
|
I wonder if this is the first time this has "happened" to her. She sounds like she might love the drama!
| 0 | 6,725 | 1.153846 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbki5rp
|
dbke2kl
| 1,482,549,316 | 1,482,542,457 | 60 | 42 |
I wonder if this is the first time this has "happened" to her. She sounds like she might love the drama!
|
For what it's worth, peanuts are legumes, not tree nuts. So it's entirely possible she's unallergic to pine nuts while being allergic to peanuts.
| 1 | 6,859 | 1.428571 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3u8n
|
dbki5rp
| 1,482,526,333 | 1,482,549,316 | 41 | 60 |
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
|
I wonder if this is the first time this has "happened" to her. She sounds like she might love the drama!
| 0 | 22,983 | 1.463415 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbkjen5
|
dbkj75l
| 1,482,551,509 | 1,482,551,148 | 53 | 52 |
I'm a commercial liability insurance adjuster. My wife also has an epi-pen for a soy, milk, and wheat allergy. I'm usually pretty sensitive to claims I get regarding allergies, but if she didn't tell you, how could you have warned her? If she sues you report to your homeowners insurance and they will defend you. She's assuming any risk if she doesn't ask about ingredients or ask you about ingredients. Clearly had she asked, you would have told her.
|
IAAL but not in WA. I have never heard of a situation where somebody in your place (a social host) had any obligation to affirmatively disclose potential allergens to party guests. It's her obligation to protect herself by asking whether anything has peanuts, not your obligation to question every guest about what allergies they may have. Peanuts are a pretty common thing in the world. She should have asked, particularly since her allergy is apparently fairly serious.
| 1 | 361 | 1.019231 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbke2kl
|
dbkj75l
| 1,482,542,457 | 1,482,551,148 | 42 | 52 |
For what it's worth, peanuts are legumes, not tree nuts. So it's entirely possible she's unallergic to pine nuts while being allergic to peanuts.
|
IAAL but not in WA. I have never heard of a situation where somebody in your place (a social host) had any obligation to affirmatively disclose potential allergens to party guests. It's her obligation to protect herself by asking whether anything has peanuts, not your obligation to question every guest about what allergies they may have. Peanuts are a pretty common thing in the world. She should have asked, particularly since her allergy is apparently fairly serious.
| 0 | 8,691 | 1.238095 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbkj75l
|
dbk3u8n
| 1,482,551,148 | 1,482,526,333 | 52 | 41 |
IAAL but not in WA. I have never heard of a situation where somebody in your place (a social host) had any obligation to affirmatively disclose potential allergens to party guests. It's her obligation to protect herself by asking whether anything has peanuts, not your obligation to question every guest about what allergies they may have. Peanuts are a pretty common thing in the world. She should have asked, particularly since her allergy is apparently fairly serious.
|
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
| 1 | 24,815 | 1.268293 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbkjen5
|
dbke5ik
| 1,482,551,509 | 1,482,542,591 | 53 | 52 |
I'm a commercial liability insurance adjuster. My wife also has an epi-pen for a soy, milk, and wheat allergy. I'm usually pretty sensitive to claims I get regarding allergies, but if she didn't tell you, how could you have warned her? If she sues you report to your homeowners insurance and they will defend you. She's assuming any risk if she doesn't ask about ingredients or ask you about ingredients. Clearly had she asked, you would have told her.
|
Oh lord, I wish her luck in the lawsuit because she is going to lose terribly. It is on her to check that she would be able to consume something, just because something typically contains a certain thing doesn't mean people don't make it with substitutions. Ask 100 chefs how they make a vinaigrette and what ingredients to use and you will get 100 different answers. I personally am allergic to hops, so I always have to ask if someone used beer in something.
| 1 | 8,918 | 1.019231 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbke2kl
|
dbkjen5
| 1,482,542,457 | 1,482,551,509 | 42 | 53 |
For what it's worth, peanuts are legumes, not tree nuts. So it's entirely possible she's unallergic to pine nuts while being allergic to peanuts.
|
I'm a commercial liability insurance adjuster. My wife also has an epi-pen for a soy, milk, and wheat allergy. I'm usually pretty sensitive to claims I get regarding allergies, but if she didn't tell you, how could you have warned her? If she sues you report to your homeowners insurance and they will defend you. She's assuming any risk if she doesn't ask about ingredients or ask you about ingredients. Clearly had she asked, you would have told her.
| 0 | 9,052 | 1.261905 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3u8n
|
dbkjen5
| 1,482,526,333 | 1,482,551,509 | 41 | 53 |
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
|
I'm a commercial liability insurance adjuster. My wife also has an epi-pen for a soy, milk, and wheat allergy. I'm usually pretty sensitive to claims I get regarding allergies, but if she didn't tell you, how could you have warned her? If she sues you report to your homeowners insurance and they will defend you. She's assuming any risk if she doesn't ask about ingredients or ask you about ingredients. Clearly had she asked, you would have told her.
| 0 | 25,176 | 1.292683 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbke5ik
|
dbke2kl
| 1,482,542,591 | 1,482,542,457 | 52 | 42 |
Oh lord, I wish her luck in the lawsuit because she is going to lose terribly. It is on her to check that she would be able to consume something, just because something typically contains a certain thing doesn't mean people don't make it with substitutions. Ask 100 chefs how they make a vinaigrette and what ingredients to use and you will get 100 different answers. I personally am allergic to hops, so I always have to ask if someone used beer in something.
|
For what it's worth, peanuts are legumes, not tree nuts. So it's entirely possible she's unallergic to pine nuts while being allergic to peanuts.
| 1 | 134 | 1.238095 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3u8n
|
dbke5ik
| 1,482,526,333 | 1,482,542,591 | 41 | 52 |
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
|
Oh lord, I wish her luck in the lawsuit because she is going to lose terribly. It is on her to check that she would be able to consume something, just because something typically contains a certain thing doesn't mean people don't make it with substitutions. Ask 100 chefs how they make a vinaigrette and what ingredients to use and you will get 100 different answers. I personally am allergic to hops, so I always have to ask if someone used beer in something.
| 0 | 16,258 | 1.268293 |
5jzatc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My neighbor is threatening to sue me because I unintentionally fed her food that triggered her peanut allergy. I threw a Christmas party last weekend. Good times were had by all. Well, almost all. As my neighbor has just moved into the neighborhood, I invited her to come over. While here she was eating a pesto pasta salad that I was serving and she had an allergic reaction. She screamed asking if there was peanuts in the pasta salad. I told her that I make my pesto using cold-pressed peanut oil. She started freaking out and getting angry that I didn't tell her. She used her EpiPen and called for an ambulance, since none of us could drive her as we were all drinking. For those who are unaware, pesto is typically made using olive oil and pine nuts. I make mine using cold-pressed peanut oil instead as my wife and family all like it that way. This morning, she came to my door and demanded that I pay the deductible for her ambulance ride and ER visit and new EpiPen. She said I had a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients as peanut oil "isn't supposed to be in pesto" (exact quote). I told her that she never told me that she had a peanut allergy and that I was not a restaurant and that it was her responsibility to ask me and not mine to volunteer, especially since I did not know about her allergy to begin with. I asked her why she even ate it at all since pine nuts are also in pesto, but she said she's not allergic to tree nuts and can eat pesto. I refused to pay anything and she said she was going to sue me in small claims if I didn't give her a check by January 1st. Legal professionals, did I have a legal responsibility to inform her of the ingredients of the dishes I was serving? Does peanut oil being an unusual ingredient in the dish have anything to do with it? This doesn't seem right to me. I have no legal experience, but if I truly owe her, then I will pay her just to avoid the hassle of going to court. What should I do here? This is taking place in Seattle, Washington. Sorry if you read this before. I accidentally deleted the post right after I posted it. This is my second attempt.
|
dbk3u8n
|
dbke2kl
| 1,482,526,333 | 1,482,542,457 | 41 | 42 |
She can sue you. But it's her responsibility to care for herself and ensure her allergy is treated correctly, not yours. Ignore her unless you get served, then hire a lawyer if allowed in your small claims court.
|
For what it's worth, peanuts are legumes, not tree nuts. So it's entirely possible she's unallergic to pine nuts while being allergic to peanuts.
| 0 | 16,124 | 1.02439 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g6587yk
|
g652c67
| 1,600,720,462 | 1,600,717,517 | 581 | 243 |
No this is ridiculous. If you are actually sued you should consult an attorney. Beyond that ignore them.
|
> I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. No you cannot. The parents are blowing smoke and you have no concerns. There is nothing actionable they can take, their daughter provided sound advice I hope you followed: > He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). Ignore the parents, but don't ignore a suit if one happens to be brought upon you.
| 1 | 2,945 | 2.390947 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66dvre
|
g65pyyb
| 1,600,741,945 | 1,600,728,667 | 89 | 59 |
Along with what everyone else is saying regarding the ridiculousness of a lawsuit, I'd also approach a lawyer about a rape accusation. Provide all the evidence to the lawyer and have him on standby. There is a chance they may go to the police and either lie or convince an officer to investigate. You do not want your son or yourselves to talk to the police. Contact this lawyer and have the police talk to him. Do not defend your son to the police, that's your lawyer's job. Yes, you seem to have your ducks in all a row but the last thing you want is your son arrested for rape, even though you can then get the charges dropped after. You want to head this off at the pass. I feel really bad for the girl in this situation. I hope the parents aren't physically punishing her.
|
Don't talk with the police if they show up. Get a lawyer. Stop any communication with this family (Most importantly, your son will need to stop communicating with this ex).
| 1 | 13,278 | 1.508475 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g65r56n
|
g66dvre
| 1,600,729,334 | 1,600,741,945 | 21 | 89 |
Keep that letter. Copy the texts and keep them in the phone and elsewhere. They are your proof that claims of rape, should they be brought, are a lie. But until you are served papers, just ignore the parents.
|
Along with what everyone else is saying regarding the ridiculousness of a lawsuit, I'd also approach a lawyer about a rape accusation. Provide all the evidence to the lawyer and have him on standby. There is a chance they may go to the police and either lie or convince an officer to investigate. You do not want your son or yourselves to talk to the police. Contact this lawyer and have the police talk to him. Do not defend your son to the police, that's your lawyer's job. Yes, you seem to have your ducks in all a row but the last thing you want is your son arrested for rape, even though you can then get the charges dropped after. You want to head this off at the pass. I feel really bad for the girl in this situation. I hope the parents aren't physically punishing her.
| 0 | 12,611 | 4.238095 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66dvre
|
g65kdrp
| 1,600,741,945 | 1,600,725,598 | 89 | 19 |
Along with what everyone else is saying regarding the ridiculousness of a lawsuit, I'd also approach a lawyer about a rape accusation. Provide all the evidence to the lawyer and have him on standby. There is a chance they may go to the police and either lie or convince an officer to investigate. You do not want your son or yourselves to talk to the police. Contact this lawyer and have the police talk to him. Do not defend your son to the police, that's your lawyer's job. Yes, you seem to have your ducks in all a row but the last thing you want is your son arrested for rape, even though you can then get the charges dropped after. You want to head this off at the pass. I feel really bad for the girl in this situation. I hope the parents aren't physically punishing her.
|
I think you misunderstand the word "peruse", unless you are trying to repeat the wording of the other parties parents. As others have pointed out, you can't be sued for damages here. Even if she got pregnant and conceived, there would be no damages. Your son is liable for his own actions, even if you were complicit or negligent. Additionally, the fact that the letter states that the girl does not currently believe it was rape is good. Also that they state they are trying to convince her it was rape, is great. Keep this letter. Take a picture of it next to a newspaper, and save the envelope it came in if they mailed it. Document the date that you received it. Don't interact with them any further, but document any attempted correspondence on their part. Since attorneys are licensed, you should be able to find out if he is licensed by your states bar.
| 1 | 16,347 | 4.684211 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g65sk6a
|
g66dvre
| 1,600,730,159 | 1,600,741,945 | 6 | 89 |
If they had a valid reason to sue, they would. Sending letters like this is usually just a scare tactic. Cut off all contact with this family. Do not respond to the letter, do not discuss it with them (or anyone else).
|
Along with what everyone else is saying regarding the ridiculousness of a lawsuit, I'd also approach a lawyer about a rape accusation. Provide all the evidence to the lawyer and have him on standby. There is a chance they may go to the police and either lie or convince an officer to investigate. You do not want your son or yourselves to talk to the police. Contact this lawyer and have the police talk to him. Do not defend your son to the police, that's your lawyer's job. Yes, you seem to have your ducks in all a row but the last thing you want is your son arrested for rape, even though you can then get the charges dropped after. You want to head this off at the pass. I feel really bad for the girl in this situation. I hope the parents aren't physically punishing her.
| 0 | 11,786 | 14.833333 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66dvre
|
g66dpzr
| 1,600,741,945 | 1,600,741,849 | 89 | 2 |
Along with what everyone else is saying regarding the ridiculousness of a lawsuit, I'd also approach a lawyer about a rape accusation. Provide all the evidence to the lawyer and have him on standby. There is a chance they may go to the police and either lie or convince an officer to investigate. You do not want your son or yourselves to talk to the police. Contact this lawyer and have the police talk to him. Do not defend your son to the police, that's your lawyer's job. Yes, you seem to have your ducks in all a row but the last thing you want is your son arrested for rape, even though you can then get the charges dropped after. You want to head this off at the pass. I feel really bad for the girl in this situation. I hope the parents aren't physically punishing her.
|
Save those messages, not only on his phone, also computer, email etc. If you can buy him another phone and keep that one safe.
| 1 | 96 | 44.5 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g65kdrp
|
g65pyyb
| 1,600,725,598 | 1,600,728,667 | 19 | 59 |
I think you misunderstand the word "peruse", unless you are trying to repeat the wording of the other parties parents. As others have pointed out, you can't be sued for damages here. Even if she got pregnant and conceived, there would be no damages. Your son is liable for his own actions, even if you were complicit or negligent. Additionally, the fact that the letter states that the girl does not currently believe it was rape is good. Also that they state they are trying to convince her it was rape, is great. Keep this letter. Take a picture of it next to a newspaper, and save the envelope it came in if they mailed it. Document the date that you received it. Don't interact with them any further, but document any attempted correspondence on their part. Since attorneys are licensed, you should be able to find out if he is licensed by your states bar.
|
Don't talk with the police if they show up. Get a lawyer. Stop any communication with this family (Most importantly, your son will need to stop communicating with this ex).
| 0 | 3,069 | 3.105263 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g65r56n
|
g65kdrp
| 1,600,729,334 | 1,600,725,598 | 21 | 19 |
Keep that letter. Copy the texts and keep them in the phone and elsewhere. They are your proof that claims of rape, should they be brought, are a lie. But until you are served papers, just ignore the parents.
|
I think you misunderstand the word "peruse", unless you are trying to repeat the wording of the other parties parents. As others have pointed out, you can't be sued for damages here. Even if she got pregnant and conceived, there would be no damages. Your son is liable for his own actions, even if you were complicit or negligent. Additionally, the fact that the letter states that the girl does not currently believe it was rape is good. Also that they state they are trying to convince her it was rape, is great. Keep this letter. Take a picture of it next to a newspaper, and save the envelope it came in if they mailed it. Document the date that you received it. Don't interact with them any further, but document any attempted correspondence on their part. Since attorneys are licensed, you should be able to find out if he is licensed by your states bar.
| 1 | 3,736 | 1.105263 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66s1un
|
g65sk6a
| 1,600,751,883 | 1,600,730,159 | 17 | 6 |
Texas has Romeo and Juliet laws - see the source text here. Tell him not to talk to this girl, her parents, friends, any attorney, or any law enforcement about this situation (same with you - don’t reply to anything unless a lawsuit shows up. Then get an attorney). If you want to see if the dad truly is an attorney, you can search the Texas bar website and see if you can find him, but from what sounds of it, he’s an armchair attorney. Just try Googling his name and see if it pops up. If the girl gave consent at the time, she can’t change her mind after the fact. She may have a different opinion now that she has been brainwashed, but sit down your son and make sure, 1000%, she gave consent.
|
If they had a valid reason to sue, they would. Sending letters like this is usually just a scare tactic. Cut off all contact with this family. Do not respond to the letter, do not discuss it with them (or anyone else).
| 1 | 21,724 | 2.833333 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66s1un
|
g66e0iz
| 1,600,751,883 | 1,600,742,025 | 17 | 5 |
Texas has Romeo and Juliet laws - see the source text here. Tell him not to talk to this girl, her parents, friends, any attorney, or any law enforcement about this situation (same with you - don’t reply to anything unless a lawsuit shows up. Then get an attorney). If you want to see if the dad truly is an attorney, you can search the Texas bar website and see if you can find him, but from what sounds of it, he’s an armchair attorney. Just try Googling his name and see if it pops up. If the girl gave consent at the time, she can’t change her mind after the fact. She may have a different opinion now that she has been brainwashed, but sit down your son and make sure, 1000%, she gave consent.
|
Carefully document everything, as mentioned in other comments. It's fine to start looking to get a list of possible lawyers, but there's probably no need to retain anyone or spend money unless you get served or cops show up. No harm in knowing who you want to call if the parents do try this, though. You and son should both know to not say anything if cops show up, even if they say they "just want to talk." Might be worth going over age of consent and teen sex laws/cases in your area with your son (if you haven't already done so.) There are some places where the law can very harshly punish normal teen sexual behavior. He will be better able to protect himself and properly consider his actions going forward if he knows what's legal or not legal and possible consequences. Good job making sure your son had accurate info about sex, safer sex, and consent. You did the right thing teaching him this. Don't let these crazy parents cause you to doubt yourself.
| 1 | 9,858 | 3.4 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66omx3
|
g66s1un
| 1,600,749,102 | 1,600,751,883 | 6 | 17 |
Not a lawyer if the sex was consensual, the girl's parents don't have a leg to stand on. Texas's Romeo and Juliet law states that anyone between the ages of 14 and 17 can legally give consent with someone within three years of their age, so long as the other party is at least 14 and gives his or her consent. This is under TX penal code 22.021
|
Texas has Romeo and Juliet laws - see the source text here. Tell him not to talk to this girl, her parents, friends, any attorney, or any law enforcement about this situation (same with you - don’t reply to anything unless a lawsuit shows up. Then get an attorney). If you want to see if the dad truly is an attorney, you can search the Texas bar website and see if you can find him, but from what sounds of it, he’s an armchair attorney. Just try Googling his name and see if it pops up. If the girl gave consent at the time, she can’t change her mind after the fact. She may have a different opinion now that she has been brainwashed, but sit down your son and make sure, 1000%, she gave consent.
| 0 | 2,781 | 2.833333 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66dpzr
|
g66s1un
| 1,600,741,849 | 1,600,751,883 | 2 | 17 |
Save those messages, not only on his phone, also computer, email etc. If you can buy him another phone and keep that one safe.
|
Texas has Romeo and Juliet laws - see the source text here. Tell him not to talk to this girl, her parents, friends, any attorney, or any law enforcement about this situation (same with you - don’t reply to anything unless a lawsuit shows up. Then get an attorney). If you want to see if the dad truly is an attorney, you can search the Texas bar website and see if you can find him, but from what sounds of it, he’s an armchair attorney. Just try Googling his name and see if it pops up. If the girl gave consent at the time, she can’t change her mind after the fact. She may have a different opinion now that she has been brainwashed, but sit down your son and make sure, 1000%, she gave consent.
| 0 | 10,034 | 8.5 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g65sk6a
|
g67o1i7
| 1,600,730,159 | 1,600,782,196 | 6 | 11 |
If they had a valid reason to sue, they would. Sending letters like this is usually just a scare tactic. Cut off all contact with this family. Do not respond to the letter, do not discuss it with them (or anyone else).
|
*he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him* Google him. If he's an actual practicing Lawyer it should be easy to find him, or just check out the Texas bar website. *That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity* That's not a crime. This isn't Saudi Arabia; there is no crime in having sex with a girl who is a virgin. *That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape.* Keep this letter! Make multiple copies (digital and physical) of it, save it a few different places. If rape charges are ever actually brought up (doubtful) this will be strong evidence that her claims were coerced. Same with those text messages your son has. Save those as well (in case he loses his phone). Beyond that, I would just ignore them, they have no case.
| 0 | 52,037 | 1.833333 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66e0iz
|
g67o1i7
| 1,600,742,025 | 1,600,782,196 | 5 | 11 |
Carefully document everything, as mentioned in other comments. It's fine to start looking to get a list of possible lawyers, but there's probably no need to retain anyone or spend money unless you get served or cops show up. No harm in knowing who you want to call if the parents do try this, though. You and son should both know to not say anything if cops show up, even if they say they "just want to talk." Might be worth going over age of consent and teen sex laws/cases in your area with your son (if you haven't already done so.) There are some places where the law can very harshly punish normal teen sexual behavior. He will be better able to protect himself and properly consider his actions going forward if he knows what's legal or not legal and possible consequences. Good job making sure your son had accurate info about sex, safer sex, and consent. You did the right thing teaching him this. Don't let these crazy parents cause you to doubt yourself.
|
*he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him* Google him. If he's an actual practicing Lawyer it should be easy to find him, or just check out the Texas bar website. *That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity* That's not a crime. This isn't Saudi Arabia; there is no crime in having sex with a girl who is a virgin. *That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape.* Keep this letter! Make multiple copies (digital and physical) of it, save it a few different places. If rape charges are ever actually brought up (doubtful) this will be strong evidence that her claims were coerced. Same with those text messages your son has. Save those as well (in case he loses his phone). Beyond that, I would just ignore them, they have no case.
| 0 | 40,171 | 2.2 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g67o1i7
|
g66omx3
| 1,600,782,196 | 1,600,749,102 | 11 | 6 |
*he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him* Google him. If he's an actual practicing Lawyer it should be easy to find him, or just check out the Texas bar website. *That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity* That's not a crime. This isn't Saudi Arabia; there is no crime in having sex with a girl who is a virgin. *That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape.* Keep this letter! Make multiple copies (digital and physical) of it, save it a few different places. If rape charges are ever actually brought up (doubtful) this will be strong evidence that her claims were coerced. Same with those text messages your son has. Save those as well (in case he loses his phone). Beyond that, I would just ignore them, they have no case.
|
Not a lawyer if the sex was consensual, the girl's parents don't have a leg to stand on. Texas's Romeo and Juliet law states that anyone between the ages of 14 and 17 can legally give consent with someone within three years of their age, so long as the other party is at least 14 and gives his or her consent. This is under TX penal code 22.021
| 1 | 33,094 | 1.833333 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g670w6q
|
g67o1i7
| 1,600,760,458 | 1,600,782,196 | 4 | 11 |
There's nothing they can sue you for. I'm really, really curious what the point of this letter was, though, since there are no demands in it. Keep the letter and the envelope in a safe place. Write the date you received it on it. Make sure your son keeps those texts, as well. If the police come around investigating a rape claim, the letter and texts are proof that it wasn't and the girl was coerced into claiming it was.
|
*he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him* Google him. If he's an actual practicing Lawyer it should be easy to find him, or just check out the Texas bar website. *That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity* That's not a crime. This isn't Saudi Arabia; there is no crime in having sex with a girl who is a virgin. *That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape.* Keep this letter! Make multiple copies (digital and physical) of it, save it a few different places. If rape charges are ever actually brought up (doubtful) this will be strong evidence that her claims were coerced. Same with those text messages your son has. Save those as well (in case he loses his phone). Beyond that, I would just ignore them, they have no case.
| 0 | 21,738 | 2.75 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66dpzr
|
g67o1i7
| 1,600,741,849 | 1,600,782,196 | 2 | 11 |
Save those messages, not only on his phone, also computer, email etc. If you can buy him another phone and keep that one safe.
|
*he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him* Google him. If he's an actual practicing Lawyer it should be easy to find him, or just check out the Texas bar website. *That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity* That's not a crime. This isn't Saudi Arabia; there is no crime in having sex with a girl who is a virgin. *That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape.* Keep this letter! Make multiple copies (digital and physical) of it, save it a few different places. If rape charges are ever actually brought up (doubtful) this will be strong evidence that her claims were coerced. Same with those text messages your son has. Save those as well (in case he loses his phone). Beyond that, I would just ignore them, they have no case.
| 0 | 40,347 | 5.5 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g67o1i7
|
g66wevv
| 1,600,782,196 | 1,600,755,860 | 11 | 2 |
*he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him* Google him. If he's an actual practicing Lawyer it should be easy to find him, or just check out the Texas bar website. *That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity* That's not a crime. This isn't Saudi Arabia; there is no crime in having sex with a girl who is a virgin. *That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape.* Keep this letter! Make multiple copies (digital and physical) of it, save it a few different places. If rape charges are ever actually brought up (doubtful) this will be strong evidence that her claims were coerced. Same with those text messages your son has. Save those as well (in case he loses his phone). Beyond that, I would just ignore them, they have no case.
|
Keep all of the messages. Screenshot them, print them out, put them on a thumb drive, do whatever you need to have a safe record. Some of the statements would be very useful if any criminal charges are eventually brought. The father/lawyer* might make enough misrepresentations to the police to open an investigation If the police come around to 'just ask questions', you tell them politely you'll only speak when your (or your son's) lawyer are present. The police may approach your son to ask him questions directly. If so, teach him to say 'no thank you officer, I won't speak with you unless my lawyer is present'. And of course, what everyone else has rightly advised: do not respond. You have nothing to say to this other parent. Get a family law attorney on retainer, the next time you are contact in any way by this family, tell them please direct all communication to your attorney in writing, and to not contact you or your family directly. *not a lawyer. Or a tax lawyer, or transactional one, but not one who's even seen the inside of a courthouse, except when they were sworn in at the bar.
| 1 | 26,336 | 5.5 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66omx3
|
g66e0iz
| 1,600,749,102 | 1,600,742,025 | 6 | 5 |
Not a lawyer if the sex was consensual, the girl's parents don't have a leg to stand on. Texas's Romeo and Juliet law states that anyone between the ages of 14 and 17 can legally give consent with someone within three years of their age, so long as the other party is at least 14 and gives his or her consent. This is under TX penal code 22.021
|
Carefully document everything, as mentioned in other comments. It's fine to start looking to get a list of possible lawyers, but there's probably no need to retain anyone or spend money unless you get served or cops show up. No harm in knowing who you want to call if the parents do try this, though. You and son should both know to not say anything if cops show up, even if they say they "just want to talk." Might be worth going over age of consent and teen sex laws/cases in your area with your son (if you haven't already done so.) There are some places where the law can very harshly punish normal teen sexual behavior. He will be better able to protect himself and properly consider his actions going forward if he knows what's legal or not legal and possible consequences. Good job making sure your son had accurate info about sex, safer sex, and consent. You did the right thing teaching him this. Don't let these crazy parents cause you to doubt yourself.
| 1 | 7,077 | 1.2 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66e0iz
|
g66dpzr
| 1,600,742,025 | 1,600,741,849 | 5 | 2 |
Carefully document everything, as mentioned in other comments. It's fine to start looking to get a list of possible lawyers, but there's probably no need to retain anyone or spend money unless you get served or cops show up. No harm in knowing who you want to call if the parents do try this, though. You and son should both know to not say anything if cops show up, even if they say they "just want to talk." Might be worth going over age of consent and teen sex laws/cases in your area with your son (if you haven't already done so.) There are some places where the law can very harshly punish normal teen sexual behavior. He will be better able to protect himself and properly consider his actions going forward if he knows what's legal or not legal and possible consequences. Good job making sure your son had accurate info about sex, safer sex, and consent. You did the right thing teaching him this. Don't let these crazy parents cause you to doubt yourself.
|
Save those messages, not only on his phone, also computer, email etc. If you can buy him another phone and keep that one safe.
| 1 | 176 | 2.5 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66dpzr
|
g66omx3
| 1,600,741,849 | 1,600,749,102 | 2 | 6 |
Save those messages, not only on his phone, also computer, email etc. If you can buy him another phone and keep that one safe.
|
Not a lawyer if the sex was consensual, the girl's parents don't have a leg to stand on. Texas's Romeo and Juliet law states that anyone between the ages of 14 and 17 can legally give consent with someone within three years of their age, so long as the other party is at least 14 and gives his or her consent. This is under TX penal code 22.021
| 0 | 7,253 | 3 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66dpzr
|
g670w6q
| 1,600,741,849 | 1,600,760,458 | 2 | 4 |
Save those messages, not only on his phone, also computer, email etc. If you can buy him another phone and keep that one safe.
|
There's nothing they can sue you for. I'm really, really curious what the point of this letter was, though, since there are no demands in it. Keep the letter and the envelope in a safe place. Write the date you received it on it. Make sure your son keeps those texts, as well. If the police come around investigating a rape claim, the letter and texts are proof that it wasn't and the girl was coerced into claiming it was.
| 0 | 18,609 | 2 |
ix7mfr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[Texas] My son’s ex-girlfriend’s parents are threatening to sue me because my son (apparently) took her virginity in my house My 16 year old son has an ex-girlfriend (they were 15-16 during their relationship. A lot of this is basically just from what I’ve heard from the parties involved, so I am not sure about if there is to more to it then what I know. Apparently shortly after the girlfriend turned 16 (January of this year) my son (already 16 at this point) and her, well had sex in my house. Until this week, I had no idea this happened, and certainly did not encourage my son to peruse sexual intercourse with this girl (or anyone), though I have had factual and realistic discussions with him regarding sex, safe sex, and that he would have to decide with his significant other when moving to that stage of the relationship is appropriate and how far they want to take any relationship. I only know this happened because a few days ago I received a letter from the girlfriend’s father informing me of of a couple specific points (he claims to be a lawyer, I have never met him): 1) That on (date) my son violated his daughter’s (insert name) chastity and raped her. 2) That he and his wife were working with their daughter and a therapist so that his daughter would realize that this action was rape and justified legal/police intervention. 3) That under Texas law, seeing as the location indicated was on my property, I could be sued for damages incurred by my “blatant disregard to her womanhood,” specifically her apparent inability to be wed within the Christian church and emotional trauma related to her lack of understanding that such a sexual action was rape. Of course, I sat my son down and talked to him about this. He admitted that they had been sexually active during their relationship - twice - with the first time having been in his bedroom at our home. He stated that it was completely consensual, and that he had been in contact with her since they broke up (in March) and was aware that her parents had found out, and were trying to get her to report it as rape, but that she had no intention of doing so because it was not rape and was 100% consensual. He had text messages showing this as well (with her specifically stating that all sexual acts were mutually agreed upon, even one stating that he should keep these text messages safe just in case her parents tried to do something). I just want to know if I could be held liable for the fact my son took his girlfriend’s virginity on my property in Texas. By the way, not sure if it is relevant, but her family are strict Mormons and the “therapist” they mentioned in the letter is apparently, according to her, her priest who is apparently treating her horribly.
|
g66wevv
|
g670w6q
| 1,600,755,860 | 1,600,760,458 | 2 | 4 |
Keep all of the messages. Screenshot them, print them out, put them on a thumb drive, do whatever you need to have a safe record. Some of the statements would be very useful if any criminal charges are eventually brought. The father/lawyer* might make enough misrepresentations to the police to open an investigation If the police come around to 'just ask questions', you tell them politely you'll only speak when your (or your son's) lawyer are present. The police may approach your son to ask him questions directly. If so, teach him to say 'no thank you officer, I won't speak with you unless my lawyer is present'. And of course, what everyone else has rightly advised: do not respond. You have nothing to say to this other parent. Get a family law attorney on retainer, the next time you are contact in any way by this family, tell them please direct all communication to your attorney in writing, and to not contact you or your family directly. *not a lawyer. Or a tax lawyer, or transactional one, but not one who's even seen the inside of a courthouse, except when they were sworn in at the bar.
|
There's nothing they can sue you for. I'm really, really curious what the point of this letter was, though, since there are no demands in it. Keep the letter and the envelope in a safe place. Write the date you received it on it. Make sure your son keeps those texts, as well. If the police come around investigating a rape claim, the letter and texts are proof that it wasn't and the girl was coerced into claiming it was.
| 0 | 4,598 | 2 |
xemi12
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Tree nightmare - Neighbor Sally is threatening to sue me because of my redwoods Background: I live in northern California and bought a home 8 years ago with 5 mature redwoods, all planted >30 years ago. They are 30" in diameter and almost 100 feet tall. The seller disclosed that he had a feud with his neighbor (Sally) and showed me letters indicating that Sally accused him of being in violation of the CC&R (no plantings blocking views) and danger to her house's foundation. Skip ahead to 2021. Sally claims she has evidence from certified arborists that my tree's roots are damaging her foundation. She demands that I take down the trees at my expense or she will sue me for CC&R violations, encroachment, and property destruction by my trees. My insurance carrier has already paid for existing damage to her foundation. I want to sell the place but without a hold-harmless release from the neighbor, I will not be able to find a buyer (according to my real estate lady.) The trees are "protected" and cannot be cut down without a permit from the city. I don't want to cut them down, and I don't want to be sued or have to go to court. Questions: Does Sally have a winnable case or are these empty threats? She says she will never provide a release unless the trees are removed. What do I need to have in hand to be able to sell my place unencumbered? What can I offer Sally to make her go away? Is there any way to save the trees? (Arborist says trees are too close to the property line to trim roots and block them from reaching Sally's foundation.) Can an injunction (if they take me to court) actually force me to cut down trees on my property? What's the cheapest path forward for me?
|
ioj1kxt
|
iojbanr
| 1,663,248,838 | 1,663,252,867 | 64 | 90 |
Never take legal advice from the enemy. You should get an arborist of your own to look into the situation.
|
If your insurance already paid out for this issue, and she accepted that settlement, accepting that money was the end of the dispute. Contact your insurer at the time and ask for a letter on their letterhead that the insurance claim was paid out, and a copy of any settlement agreement she signed. Insurance companies don't just hand out money willy-nilly, in order to be paid a settlement you have to agree that the payment is complete remuneration for their damages and they won't come back and ask for more later. A copy of that agreement that she signed should be good enough to sell your house. (I'm not going to comment on the legal status of cutting down redwoods in california, I have no idea the law on that one.)
| 0 | 4,029 | 1.40625 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jytnc
|
d5jyqra
| 1,469,043,466 | 1,469,043,368 | 144 | 36 |
Tell your former roommate to kick rocks. (And yes people, I mean kick rocks. Not pound sand. It's a saying too.) You have no duty to provide her with food. There is no cognizable cause of action for "cruelty." And even if there was, this would not be that. She's an adult. She can get a job or go to a soup kitchen somewhere to get food.
|
not giving a hungry person food is a NOT criminal or civil offense. this law suit would go literally nowhere. edited because I forgot the most important word lol
| 1 | 98 | 4 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jyrjw
|
d5jytnc
| 1,469,043,395 | 1,469,043,466 | 21 | 144 |
The only right answer when threatened by crazy people over crazy things is to ignore them. You have no obligation to supply her with food. Insert standard disclaimer about anyone can sue over anything and if you are served you have to take it seriously here.
|
Tell your former roommate to kick rocks. (And yes people, I mean kick rocks. Not pound sand. It's a saying too.) You have no duty to provide her with food. There is no cognizable cause of action for "cruelty." And even if there was, this would not be that. She's an adult. She can get a job or go to a soup kitchen somewhere to get food.
| 0 | 71 | 6.857143 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jytnc
|
d5jyszd
| 1,469,043,466 | 1,469,043,444 | 144 | 8 |
Tell your former roommate to kick rocks. (And yes people, I mean kick rocks. Not pound sand. It's a saying too.) You have no duty to provide her with food. There is no cognizable cause of action for "cruelty." And even if there was, this would not be that. She's an adult. She can get a job or go to a soup kitchen somewhere to get food.
|
No lawyer would take that case.
| 1 | 22 | 18 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jyqra
|
d5jytwq
| 1,469,043,368 | 1,469,043,476 | 36 | 112 |
not giving a hungry person food is a NOT criminal or civil offense. this law suit would go literally nowhere. edited because I forgot the most important word lol
|
> Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her It's okay to laugh at her. > What would a judge say? The judge might sanction the attorney for bringing a frivolous case.
| 0 | 108 | 3.111111 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jyrjw
|
d5jytwq
| 1,469,043,395 | 1,469,043,476 | 21 | 112 |
The only right answer when threatened by crazy people over crazy things is to ignore them. You have no obligation to supply her with food. Insert standard disclaimer about anyone can sue over anything and if you are served you have to take it seriously here.
|
> Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her It's okay to laugh at her. > What would a judge say? The judge might sanction the attorney for bringing a frivolous case.
| 0 | 81 | 5.333333 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jytwq
|
d5jyszd
| 1,469,043,476 | 1,469,043,444 | 112 | 8 |
> Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her It's okay to laugh at her. > What would a judge say? The judge might sanction the attorney for bringing a frivolous case.
|
No lawyer would take that case.
| 1 | 32 | 14 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jyrjw
|
d5jz23f
| 1,469,043,395 | 1,469,043,756 | 21 | 29 |
The only right answer when threatened by crazy people over crazy things is to ignore them. You have no obligation to supply her with food. Insert standard disclaimer about anyone can sue over anything and if you are served you have to take it seriously here.
|
Can she do this? Yes. Would any lawyer help her do this? No. What would the judge do? After about 5 minutes of laughing, dismiss the case, but you would need a lawyer to file the motion to dismiss. It would probably be cheap, you could find a legal aid society to help you. Only hire a lawyer if you get served with a lawsuit. It would just be a waste of money at this point. If you do get served, even before you call a lawyer, call her parents. They might be able to deal with it.
| 0 | 361 | 1.380952 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jyszd
|
d5jz23f
| 1,469,043,444 | 1,469,043,756 | 8 | 29 |
No lawyer would take that case.
|
Can she do this? Yes. Would any lawyer help her do this? No. What would the judge do? After about 5 minutes of laughing, dismiss the case, but you would need a lawyer to file the motion to dismiss. It would probably be cheap, you could find a legal aid society to help you. Only hire a lawyer if you get served with a lawsuit. It would just be a waste of money at this point. If you do get served, even before you call a lawyer, call her parents. They might be able to deal with it.
| 0 | 312 | 3.625 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jz6gt
|
d5jyszd
| 1,469,043,901 | 1,469,043,444 | 18 | 8 |
Not gonna happen. She, and the lawyer, would be laughed out of court. Besides, if mommy and daddy want her to have the experience of struggling, hiring a lawyer for her isn't gonna be in the cards. A proposed response: "And I'll countersue for all the food you've stolen."
|
No lawyer would take that case.
| 1 | 457 | 2.25 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5jyszd
|
d5k37zj
| 1,469,043,444 | 1,469,048,903 | 8 | 11 |
No lawyer would take that case.
|
> Can she do this? Sure. Good luck getting a lawyer to take the case. > What would a judge say? Ask his/her law clerk if it was April 1st?
| 0 | 5,459 | 1.375 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5kastj
|
d5kjiks
| 1,469,059,669 | 1,469,073,219 | 7 | 8 |
This is the fattest post I have ever read in here.
|
Your roomie has some serious delusions about life. Send her parents a bill for all the food she scarfed down.
| 0 | 13,550 | 1.142857 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5k8d5y
|
d5kastj
| 1,469,056,067 | 1,469,059,669 | 6 | 7 |
"Suing for cruelty" is not a thing.
|
This is the fattest post I have ever read in here.
| 0 | 3,602 | 1.166667 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5kjiks
|
d5k8d5y
| 1,469,073,219 | 1,469,056,067 | 8 | 6 |
Your roomie has some serious delusions about life. Send her parents a bill for all the food she scarfed down.
|
"Suing for cruelty" is not a thing.
| 1 | 17,152 | 1.333333 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
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d5kjiks
|
d5kdi2s
| 1,469,073,219 | 1,469,063,793 | 8 | 5 |
Your roomie has some serious delusions about life. Send her parents a bill for all the food she scarfed down.
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>"experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year oh no, how will she ever get by on the equivalent of a full time job @ minimum wage, except without having the expenses or effort of earning it. she should try to get by on a public assistance case level of income (~$375/mo+200/mo food stamps) and that 375 has to cover rent too.
| 1 | 9,426 | 1.6 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
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d5kdpjf
|
d5kjiks
| 1,469,064,120 | 1,469,073,219 | 4 | 8 |
Of course, Florida. You're her roommate NOT her legal guardian. You are not legally required to provide for her. If she thinks you're cruel by not giving her food, I'd LOVE to hear what she calls all the lawyers who refuse to take he idiot case....
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Your roomie has some serious delusions about life. Send her parents a bill for all the food she scarfed down.
| 0 | 9,099 | 2 |
4tswyf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
(FL) My (soon to be former) roommate is threatening to sue me for cruelty because I wouldn't let her eat all my food. *The landlords sick of her shit and this is her last week here* She's unemployed and mommy pays for everything. She gave her ~$500 to spend on food for the month for herself. She woukd spend all of it and eat all of it within the first week. Rinse and repeat for 4 months. She started to steal my food(the first month she ate everything I had within a couple days)I brought it up to the landlord and he was kind enough to give me a mini fridge/freezer. He also warned her to stop stealing food. For the next 2-3 months she tried to guilt me into giving her food, but usually just mooched off that months boyfriend. She's been single for the past month so after she finishes the first weeks food she tries that crap with me. I caught her trying to pick the lock on the mini fridge, told the landlord and he started the eviction process. Fast forward to today, she has to be out by Monday. She came to me begging for food and I told her no. Now she's threatening to sue me for cruelty for not helping her. Her family's pretty wealthy(they wanted her to have the "experience of struggling" so they're making her live on $15,000 for the year) and I know that she'll have lawyers to help her. Can she do this? What would a judge say?
|
d5kjiks
|
d5kegvy
| 1,469,073,219 | 1,469,065,279 | 8 | 3 |
Your roomie has some serious delusions about life. Send her parents a bill for all the food she scarfed down.
|
Florida Rule says "No."
| 1 | 7,940 | 2.666667 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
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ekmypqs
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eknexko
| 1,554,996,716 | 1,555,006,937 | 65 | 83 |
Generally speaking, Florida does not allow a lawsuit for negligent infliction of emotional distress unless the plaintiff has suffered a physical contact or was in a zone of danger wherein they were put in fear of contact. And by contact, I mean a freaking car hitting them. Or a car careening off the road and almost hitting them. Tell your roommate to pound sand, and document all her legal threats. Because that's harassment. Not to where you could do anything legally, but you could certainly bring it to the University's attention. Also, universities do not let suicidal people stay on campus. It's too much of a liability. You should inform the university of these events and let them know you are concerned for her. She may not be there long. You also have NO obligation to care for or render aid to anyone in Florida. The only thing you can't do is box someone out. That means, if she's OD'ing and the front door is open so that a passerby could see she's ODing, you can't close the door, or if the door was unlocked you can't lock it. Also remember that anytime you do decide to undertake a rescue, such as calling 911, you must make sure you do not do so negligently. Don't worry, that doesn't appear to apply here. What I'm saying is, next time she ODs, you taking any action could make you liable. Keep that in mind.
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Former RA here and I just wanted to reiterate what others are saying - you did NOTHING wrong. The RA/RD/Administration of the school is being awful to you and I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are in no way responsible for this girl. She can sue you but as others have said, it will go nowhere. I so wish your school was reacting differently. When I was an RA, I dealt with a similar situation with one of my residents and as harsh as it sounds, she wasn't allowed to live in the dorms anymore because of exactly what you are experiencing. Just wanted to say to hang in there and don't worry - you did nothing wrong.
| 0 | 10,221 | 1.276923 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
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eknexko
|
ekn91e0
| 1,555,006,937 | 1,555,003,293 | 83 | 37 |
Former RA here and I just wanted to reiterate what others are saying - you did NOTHING wrong. The RA/RD/Administration of the school is being awful to you and I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are in no way responsible for this girl. She can sue you but as others have said, it will go nowhere. I so wish your school was reacting differently. When I was an RA, I dealt with a similar situation with one of my residents and as harsh as it sounds, she wasn't allowed to live in the dorms anymore because of exactly what you are experiencing. Just wanted to say to hang in there and don't worry - you did nothing wrong.
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Not a lawyer. Not negligence if you had no idea she OD'd or even threatened suicide. Not your responsibility to be her caretaker after hospital. Doesn't sound like there's evidence the half hour or however long in the morning you did not let her friends/RA in caused her more damage seeing as she's alive and still in school. I would definitely recommend telling someone at the school what is going on, like an advisor or even a professor who could point you in the right direction. The school should be alerted that not only is she not well but it is affecting other students' current learning environments by threatening lawsuits. EMTs have long shifts and I've heard them make plenty of side-comments similar to "guess they're not friends," and even worse. It does not matter. Plenty of people live together and are not friends. Does not make you responsible for her health.
| 1 | 3,644 | 2.243243 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
|
eknvugn
|
ekn91e0
| 1,555,017,430 | 1,555,003,293 | 46 | 37 |
Hall director here. You should be fine. I have advised residents in the past that they are not bound to care plans; sometimes hospitals will pressure someone to be the "point person" for the person in crisis, but no one is obligated to take on that role. In my humble opinion, this is especially true if it is a parent unilaterally deciding what's in the "care plan", without a professional involved in that process. We have also run in to issues not knowing if they are legally enforceable or not (it's kind of a gray area), so I always encourage people just to say "no" if they are uncomfortable. If you can, reach out to your housing office; the behavior of the RA and RD is inappropriate, and I'm wondering if they haven't been trained on handling situations like this. If they haven't, it's a bit concerning that their gut reaction is to be accusatory or guilt-trippy. Mine has always been: "you aren't responsible for the actions of another person, and I hope you don't feel guilty for saying 'no' to a request like this."
|
Not a lawyer. Not negligence if you had no idea she OD'd or even threatened suicide. Not your responsibility to be her caretaker after hospital. Doesn't sound like there's evidence the half hour or however long in the morning you did not let her friends/RA in caused her more damage seeing as she's alive and still in school. I would definitely recommend telling someone at the school what is going on, like an advisor or even a professor who could point you in the right direction. The school should be alerted that not only is she not well but it is affecting other students' current learning environments by threatening lawsuits. EMTs have long shifts and I've heard them make plenty of side-comments similar to "guess they're not friends," and even worse. It does not matter. Plenty of people live together and are not friends. Does not make you responsible for her health.
| 1 | 14,137 | 1.243243 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
|
eknnedt
|
eknvugn
| 1,555,012,112 | 1,555,017,430 | 23 | 46 |
She's full of shit. I'd be astonished if they actually sued you
|
Hall director here. You should be fine. I have advised residents in the past that they are not bound to care plans; sometimes hospitals will pressure someone to be the "point person" for the person in crisis, but no one is obligated to take on that role. In my humble opinion, this is especially true if it is a parent unilaterally deciding what's in the "care plan", without a professional involved in that process. We have also run in to issues not knowing if they are legally enforceable or not (it's kind of a gray area), so I always encourage people just to say "no" if they are uncomfortable. If you can, reach out to your housing office; the behavior of the RA and RD is inappropriate, and I'm wondering if they haven't been trained on handling situations like this. If they haven't, it's a bit concerning that their gut reaction is to be accusatory or guilt-trippy. Mine has always been: "you aren't responsible for the actions of another person, and I hope you don't feel guilty for saying 'no' to a request like this."
| 0 | 5,318 | 2 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
|
eknslqn
|
eknvugn
| 1,555,015,361 | 1,555,017,430 | 18 | 46 |
Your parents have been giving you good advice here. They seem to know what's up.
|
Hall director here. You should be fine. I have advised residents in the past that they are not bound to care plans; sometimes hospitals will pressure someone to be the "point person" for the person in crisis, but no one is obligated to take on that role. In my humble opinion, this is especially true if it is a parent unilaterally deciding what's in the "care plan", without a professional involved in that process. We have also run in to issues not knowing if they are legally enforceable or not (it's kind of a gray area), so I always encourage people just to say "no" if they are uncomfortable. If you can, reach out to your housing office; the behavior of the RA and RD is inappropriate, and I'm wondering if they haven't been trained on handling situations like this. If they haven't, it's a bit concerning that their gut reaction is to be accusatory or guilt-trippy. Mine has always been: "you aren't responsible for the actions of another person, and I hope you don't feel guilty for saying 'no' to a request like this."
| 0 | 2,069 | 2.555556 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
|
eknvugn
|
eknp1oz
| 1,555,017,430 | 1,555,013,126 | 46 | 9 |
Hall director here. You should be fine. I have advised residents in the past that they are not bound to care plans; sometimes hospitals will pressure someone to be the "point person" for the person in crisis, but no one is obligated to take on that role. In my humble opinion, this is especially true if it is a parent unilaterally deciding what's in the "care plan", without a professional involved in that process. We have also run in to issues not knowing if they are legally enforceable or not (it's kind of a gray area), so I always encourage people just to say "no" if they are uncomfortable. If you can, reach out to your housing office; the behavior of the RA and RD is inappropriate, and I'm wondering if they haven't been trained on handling situations like this. If they haven't, it's a bit concerning that their gut reaction is to be accusatory or guilt-trippy. Mine has always been: "you aren't responsible for the actions of another person, and I hope you don't feel guilty for saying 'no' to a request like this."
|
I am not a lawyer. Talk to you parents/mom and ask them to contact their insurance agent. Your parents' homeowners and umbrella insurance likely covers you while you're at college. If they do, and you get served, contact the insurance agent immediately and they'll swing into action - their lawyers will handle things. That said, the girl and her mom are full of shit. You are not this girl's care giver. If she is unable to manage the activities of daily life, she does not belong in the dorms. The university knows this. If the RA and RD don't support you, work up the food chain, to the Dean of Students etc.
| 1 | 4,304 | 5.111111 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
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eknwkrj
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eknnedt
| 1,555,017,908 | 1,555,012,112 | 28 | 23 |
No sane lawyer would take this case. I had a crazy roommate who also expected me to coddle her and be her best buddy, though there was nothing medical wrong with her besides a serious case of affluenza. It was so bad that my parents' got a lawyer involved and he was making appointments with my housing director and the University's general counsel. The biggest thing I learned from that incident was to document goddamn everything. This is a long, complicated saga and people forget things or misremember details. Documentation is your best friend because you have some kind of evidence on your side and when it comes down to it, the university will probably believe the girl with the stack of emails detailing how she has tried to avoid issues over the girl who is instigating problems. ​ Make a report to your RA and the RD and whoever in housing you dealt with while trying to change rooms. Email them and bcc your personal email and your parents emails. State the facts of what occurred with the incident on the shuttle, don't give any opinions or what you plan to do next. Simply document what occurred and tell them you thought they should be made aware of this incident of harassment. Leave it at that. ​ Don't talk to the ex-roommate, even if she talks to you. If she's bothering you, move to a location that is as public as possible, with lots of witnesses. If that means getting up in the middle of a lecture hall and moving seats, so be it. Either she'll leave you alone or she'll lose it and you'll have another incident (with witnesses!) to add to your tidy list of "Reasons Housing Should Take My Side." You cannot be held at fault for refusing to talk to someone and you have an incredibly valid defense if you ever get called out by an authority figure on being "rude". (Your defense being "I feel uncomfortable speaking with her and would like her to leave me alone.") Anytime you meet with ANYONE from the university about this, document that too. Email them after with a quick summary of what was said and done in the meeting and what next steps they have promised to take or recommended that you take. ​ Cover your ass as much as possible and you'll be just fine.
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She's full of shit. I'd be astonished if they actually sued you
| 1 | 5,796 | 1.217391 |
bc0tn9
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legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
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eknwkrj
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eknslqn
| 1,555,017,908 | 1,555,015,361 | 28 | 18 |
No sane lawyer would take this case. I had a crazy roommate who also expected me to coddle her and be her best buddy, though there was nothing medical wrong with her besides a serious case of affluenza. It was so bad that my parents' got a lawyer involved and he was making appointments with my housing director and the University's general counsel. The biggest thing I learned from that incident was to document goddamn everything. This is a long, complicated saga and people forget things or misremember details. Documentation is your best friend because you have some kind of evidence on your side and when it comes down to it, the university will probably believe the girl with the stack of emails detailing how she has tried to avoid issues over the girl who is instigating problems. ​ Make a report to your RA and the RD and whoever in housing you dealt with while trying to change rooms. Email them and bcc your personal email and your parents emails. State the facts of what occurred with the incident on the shuttle, don't give any opinions or what you plan to do next. Simply document what occurred and tell them you thought they should be made aware of this incident of harassment. Leave it at that. ​ Don't talk to the ex-roommate, even if she talks to you. If she's bothering you, move to a location that is as public as possible, with lots of witnesses. If that means getting up in the middle of a lecture hall and moving seats, so be it. Either she'll leave you alone or she'll lose it and you'll have another incident (with witnesses!) to add to your tidy list of "Reasons Housing Should Take My Side." You cannot be held at fault for refusing to talk to someone and you have an incredibly valid defense if you ever get called out by an authority figure on being "rude". (Your defense being "I feel uncomfortable speaking with her and would like her to leave me alone.") Anytime you meet with ANYONE from the university about this, document that too. Email them after with a quick summary of what was said and done in the meeting and what next steps they have promised to take or recommended that you take. ​ Cover your ass as much as possible and you'll be just fine.
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Your parents have been giving you good advice here. They seem to know what's up.
| 1 | 2,547 | 1.555556 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
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eknwkrj
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eknp1oz
| 1,555,017,908 | 1,555,013,126 | 28 | 9 |
No sane lawyer would take this case. I had a crazy roommate who also expected me to coddle her and be her best buddy, though there was nothing medical wrong with her besides a serious case of affluenza. It was so bad that my parents' got a lawyer involved and he was making appointments with my housing director and the University's general counsel. The biggest thing I learned from that incident was to document goddamn everything. This is a long, complicated saga and people forget things or misremember details. Documentation is your best friend because you have some kind of evidence on your side and when it comes down to it, the university will probably believe the girl with the stack of emails detailing how she has tried to avoid issues over the girl who is instigating problems. ​ Make a report to your RA and the RD and whoever in housing you dealt with while trying to change rooms. Email them and bcc your personal email and your parents emails. State the facts of what occurred with the incident on the shuttle, don't give any opinions or what you plan to do next. Simply document what occurred and tell them you thought they should be made aware of this incident of harassment. Leave it at that. ​ Don't talk to the ex-roommate, even if she talks to you. If she's bothering you, move to a location that is as public as possible, with lots of witnesses. If that means getting up in the middle of a lecture hall and moving seats, so be it. Either she'll leave you alone or she'll lose it and you'll have another incident (with witnesses!) to add to your tidy list of "Reasons Housing Should Take My Side." You cannot be held at fault for refusing to talk to someone and you have an incredibly valid defense if you ever get called out by an authority figure on being "rude". (Your defense being "I feel uncomfortable speaking with her and would like her to leave me alone.") Anytime you meet with ANYONE from the university about this, document that too. Email them after with a quick summary of what was said and done in the meeting and what next steps they have promised to take or recommended that you take. ​ Cover your ass as much as possible and you'll be just fine.
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I am not a lawyer. Talk to you parents/mom and ask them to contact their insurance agent. Your parents' homeowners and umbrella insurance likely covers you while you're at college. If they do, and you get served, contact the insurance agent immediately and they'll swing into action - their lawyers will handle things. That said, the girl and her mom are full of shit. You are not this girl's care giver. If she is unable to manage the activities of daily life, she does not belong in the dorms. The university knows this. If the RA and RD don't support you, work up the food chain, to the Dean of Students etc.
| 1 | 4,782 | 3.111111 |
bc0tn9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
[FL] Ex dorm roommate threatening to sue for emotional distress because and negligence we didn't coddle her post-OD My only real exposure to law is that I had to take a business law class for my major last semester and we didn't spend a ton of time on emotional distress because the prof said it's "not real" but I figured I should see if me & my other roommates really should be cautious about this ik this situation doesn't make us look like the best people but I just want to know if it's illegal, if you need more details lmk. This is already really long though so I'm sure you'll be fine. ​ Tl;Dr roommate OD's during midterms fall semester, we don't know for like an hour after it happens since it was in her room and we're not all friends, take a couple minutes to open the door for her friends who are checking on her since they were banging on the door and yelling and wouldn't tell us who they were. This part is the supposed negligence as she said if we'd paid more attention or let them in sooner she would've gone to the hospital sooner. When she comes back she wants us to do everything for her (cook, clean, laundry), we say no and do not listen to her talk about her self harm and how she wishes she could've committed suicide. Because she's not getting her way she changes dorms, her roommates now give into everything she wants so that's evidence we were unreasonable and putting undue emotional distress on her. ​ I live on campus in basically a 4 br/2 ba apartment where everyone has their own room but it's still a "dorm", if it matters we were all randomly put together and were not friends first (1 girl and I have become friends but other than that we all keep to ourselves and spend most of our time in our bedrooms). Had an impromptu long weekend due to weather delays, on the first day of the weekend one roommate ("Jessie") locks herself in her room and overdoses on Xanax. We hadn't seen her all morning but that's not out of the norm, at some point during the day these random girls we don't know are banging on our door and yelling at us to "Open the motherf\*\*\*ing door" so we try to ask through the door who they are but they keep yelling. I text the RA and she comes down and they're somehow able to have a civil conversation with her and say Jessie texted them she "needed a break" and they were worried. As soon as the RA said that we went to knock on her door and see if she was ok. The girls were banging on our door for maybe a couple minutes because I texted our RA as soon as there was banging and cursing, so not too long. Our RA gets the master key and 911 gets called and she goes away in an ambulance. UPD came and wrote up a report along with our RA and her RD, the police were a little annoyed we didn't know the how or why and one commented to another "Apparently they're not friends" with some attitude but otherwise they just basically took a statement and left. The RA and RD seemed like legit upset with us and asked us why we didn't see any signs and why it took so long for us to open the door for people who were just asking where their friend was. ​ When Jessie comes back she starts by asking for favors which is fine like if one of us is already cooking to give her some of our food because she feels out of it and weak. I didn't do that but would offer to leave the oven on so it wouldn't have to preheat again and put something in for her if she'd check on it and get it out it so she wouldn't have to get up right away, one other girl would just give in and give her food. After a few days it turned more into (I felt) her guilting us into doing stuff for her like picking up the dishes she'd left in the living room overnight or cooking for her or doing her laundry (we have to go to a laundromat on campus so it's a hassle). After like day 2 I started saying no and so did one of my roommates, the third one is too sweet and kind of a pushover so she kept doing stuff. At this point she has also started to talk a lot about self harm and other things in graphic detail. As someone who has previously self harmed this made me really uncomfortable. ​ At this point Jessie started saying how we had to help her because it's a disability or something and her mom messaged all of us on FB saying she was putting together a "care plan" which would involve things to avoid doing around Jessie and how to tell if she was having a bad day and what we should do to cheer her up, and what we'd need to do if she continued to be in a bad mood. It was at this point I was like there's no way I can live like this, as Jessie had yelled at me for turning the kitchen light on at 6:30am (I had a 7:15 class) and said it impacted her depression and anxiety to be up in the single digits and I shouldn't do things like that if it impacted her mental health. I was worried something like "no lights on in the morning" or "no noise in the morning" would be on the list which would be difficult since for my own health reasons I'm someone who needs to eat breakfast (if I don't eat every x hours I get really dizzy and sometimes faint). At this point the other 2 girls and I (encouraged by our parents) decided we were not comfortable with this list, so we went to the RD. Since it's the same person that was on the scene that like lowkey blamed us she was super unhelpful and said while the University can't force us to follow a care plan we should think about the kinds of people we want to be and if we wanted to be responsible for someone's mental breakdown. Next we went to the provost and they said all we can do is report her as a threat to herself. From what she said the school was already forcing her to see a mental health counselor so while we did report her harm idolation I wasn't sure it would lead to anything more. ​ At this point it's been about a week and a half since her OD, I'm trying to go to these different housing offices to see how I can get out of this living situation but the only room changes they're offering to me are to freshman dorms which don't have a kitchen and would require a meal plan where you'd have to buy it for the entire semester period (even though this occurred during midterms), we all say wouldn't it make more sense to move 1/4 people instead of 3/4 or do *something* to make sure she's actually getting the help she needs instead of sitting here telling us we need to cook for her or she'll hurt herself?? Housing doesn't give a sh\*t. During this process while I would not do her chores or laundry or feed her I wasn't mean, I just tried to disengage besides small talk like how's class. If she started talking about her idolation or how she wished she'd taken more pills I would say "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with this topic" and go to my room which is what my parents had suggested I do. Around 3 weeks after the original events she decided to request a housing change. I know I never told her she should move, told her we wanted her to move, or told her if she didn't move we were looking at it, I believe the others never said any of those things either but obviously I wasn't present every time they talked so I don't know for sure. If they ever said anything like that to her I do not know about it. ​ Ok finally (sorry) we're here, now, almost at the end of spring semester. This whole thing is a world away right? No, there's shuttles on campus and it was pouring the other day so I took one instead of walking to the dorm. Next stop Jessie got on and sat right next to me. She said that our actions were negligent (she says the negligence is not knowing she OD'ing sooner and calling 911 sooner and also not letting her friends in right away, to my knowledge no one's said if she would've been better off if we had let the friends in 5 minutes earlier or not) and we caused her emotional distress by neglecting her until she wanted to move (the neglect is not helping her recovery by cooking for her, doing her laundry, and just cleaning up after her instead of asking her to do it herself) and her mom says they're going to sue soon. Apparently the dorm she moved to her roommates are major pushovers and give into all she wanted as well as the care plan thing, so that's "evidence" that we were unreasonable and caused unecessary emotional distress that a reasonable person would say is undue (her words). I told my parents and they said unless there's some part of the story you didn't tell us (there isn't) that's ridiculous. I want to know if these are legitimate claims? Currently the other 2 roommates and I have not gotten any mail about this.
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I am not a lawyer. Talk to you parents/mom and ask them to contact their insurance agent. Your parents' homeowners and umbrella insurance likely covers you while you're at college. If they do, and you get served, contact the insurance agent immediately and they'll swing into action - their lawyers will handle things. That said, the girl and her mom are full of shit. You are not this girl's care giver. If she is unable to manage the activities of daily life, she does not belong in the dorms. The university knows this. If the RA and RD don't support you, work up the food chain, to the Dean of Students etc.
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Your parents have been giving you good advice here. They seem to know what's up.
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