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yqvqn3
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
Why am I being asked for a DNA sample after my car has been stolen? Brief recap of the situation: My car was stolen sometime between a Friday evening and a Sunday afternoon. Filed a police report on that afternoon, reported to insurance Monday morning. Tuesday morning I was informed my car was used in several violent crimes, including robbery, in a nearby city. Suspects involved were not arrested and the car was not recovered, but police are on the lookout. Answered several questions over the phone about my car to aid in identifying it. Was then asked to provide a detective with a DNA sample in order to, quote, "rule me out" of suspicion should the vehicle be recovered. I just want to ensure that I am making the right decision in agreeing to provide DNA, or if this will put me at risk for a wrongful accusation. I'm a young woman and a college student. I'm dumb, scared, and I do not know what my rights are in this situation. Why am I really being asked to provide DNA? My DNA is obviously going to be in the car because it was *my* car. What are the risks in this situation? I do not want to be misled or taken advantage of for the sake of being agreeable. Thank you for reading, please help if you can.
|
ivt7z7g
|
ivse8pz
| 1,668,085,723 | 1,668,063,185 | 5 | 3 |
Unless they have a warrent for it, dont do it. Im for police. But you have rights and they shouldn't even ask this. If they dont stop get a lawyer.
|
They are probably trying to eliminate your DNA from another person’s DNA within your car. You cannot be compelled to do so without some sort of judicial order. The police, arguably, could use your DNA to assist a different investigation in a way that isn’t helpful to you. It’s up to you whether you feel this risk is worth taking.
| 1 | 22,538 | 1.666667 |
yqvqn3
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
Why am I being asked for a DNA sample after my car has been stolen? Brief recap of the situation: My car was stolen sometime between a Friday evening and a Sunday afternoon. Filed a police report on that afternoon, reported to insurance Monday morning. Tuesday morning I was informed my car was used in several violent crimes, including robbery, in a nearby city. Suspects involved were not arrested and the car was not recovered, but police are on the lookout. Answered several questions over the phone about my car to aid in identifying it. Was then asked to provide a detective with a DNA sample in order to, quote, "rule me out" of suspicion should the vehicle be recovered. I just want to ensure that I am making the right decision in agreeing to provide DNA, or if this will put me at risk for a wrongful accusation. I'm a young woman and a college student. I'm dumb, scared, and I do not know what my rights are in this situation. Why am I really being asked to provide DNA? My DNA is obviously going to be in the car because it was *my* car. What are the risks in this situation? I do not want to be misled or taken advantage of for the sake of being agreeable. Thank you for reading, please help if you can.
|
ivskslm
|
ivt7z7g
| 1,668,068,522 | 1,668,085,723 | 2 | 5 |
If someone's DNA is taken like this and stored in a national database, is it possible to somehow request that the data be deleted?
|
Unless they have a warrent for it, dont do it. Im for police. But you have rights and they shouldn't even ask this. If they dont stop get a lawyer.
| 0 | 17,201 | 2.5 |
yqvqn3
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
Why am I being asked for a DNA sample after my car has been stolen? Brief recap of the situation: My car was stolen sometime between a Friday evening and a Sunday afternoon. Filed a police report on that afternoon, reported to insurance Monday morning. Tuesday morning I was informed my car was used in several violent crimes, including robbery, in a nearby city. Suspects involved were not arrested and the car was not recovered, but police are on the lookout. Answered several questions over the phone about my car to aid in identifying it. Was then asked to provide a detective with a DNA sample in order to, quote, "rule me out" of suspicion should the vehicle be recovered. I just want to ensure that I am making the right decision in agreeing to provide DNA, or if this will put me at risk for a wrongful accusation. I'm a young woman and a college student. I'm dumb, scared, and I do not know what my rights are in this situation. Why am I really being asked to provide DNA? My DNA is obviously going to be in the car because it was *my* car. What are the risks in this situation? I do not want to be misled or taken advantage of for the sake of being agreeable. Thank you for reading, please help if you can.
|
ivt6icy
|
ivt7z7g
| 1,668,084,931 | 1,668,085,723 | 2 | 5 |
…again there are several ways to rule you out without DNA. It’s surprising they would choose to request a sample first. DNA labs cost money
|
Unless they have a warrent for it, dont do it. Im for police. But you have rights and they shouldn't even ask this. If they dont stop get a lawyer.
| 0 | 792 | 2.5 |
yqvqn3
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
Why am I being asked for a DNA sample after my car has been stolen? Brief recap of the situation: My car was stolen sometime between a Friday evening and a Sunday afternoon. Filed a police report on that afternoon, reported to insurance Monday morning. Tuesday morning I was informed my car was used in several violent crimes, including robbery, in a nearby city. Suspects involved were not arrested and the car was not recovered, but police are on the lookout. Answered several questions over the phone about my car to aid in identifying it. Was then asked to provide a detective with a DNA sample in order to, quote, "rule me out" of suspicion should the vehicle be recovered. I just want to ensure that I am making the right decision in agreeing to provide DNA, or if this will put me at risk for a wrongful accusation. I'm a young woman and a college student. I'm dumb, scared, and I do not know what my rights are in this situation. Why am I really being asked to provide DNA? My DNA is obviously going to be in the car because it was *my* car. What are the risks in this situation? I do not want to be misled or taken advantage of for the sake of being agreeable. Thank you for reading, please help if you can.
|
ivsdivt
|
ivtl89k
| 1,668,062,636 | 1,668,091,905 | 4 | 6 |
Get a lawyer.
|
Absolutely without a doubt, giving your DNA is a bad idea. It CAN be used to rule you out, but it'll be stored in a national database. I watch discovery ID a lot, and I can't count the amount of times I've watched someone talk themselves into handcuffs by trying to be "helpful ". You're under no obligation whatsoever to help the police do their job. You should call a lawyer immediately and not answer any further questions until you have (at the very least) had a consultation with one. There are just so many things that can possibly go wrong by "helping " them. You were the victim of a crime, check into a victims advocate in your area, see if there is any assistance available to you through that as well.
| 0 | 29,269 | 1.5 |
yqvqn3
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
Why am I being asked for a DNA sample after my car has been stolen? Brief recap of the situation: My car was stolen sometime between a Friday evening and a Sunday afternoon. Filed a police report on that afternoon, reported to insurance Monday morning. Tuesday morning I was informed my car was used in several violent crimes, including robbery, in a nearby city. Suspects involved were not arrested and the car was not recovered, but police are on the lookout. Answered several questions over the phone about my car to aid in identifying it. Was then asked to provide a detective with a DNA sample in order to, quote, "rule me out" of suspicion should the vehicle be recovered. I just want to ensure that I am making the right decision in agreeing to provide DNA, or if this will put me at risk for a wrongful accusation. I'm a young woman and a college student. I'm dumb, scared, and I do not know what my rights are in this situation. Why am I really being asked to provide DNA? My DNA is obviously going to be in the car because it was *my* car. What are the risks in this situation? I do not want to be misled or taken advantage of for the sake of being agreeable. Thank you for reading, please help if you can.
|
ivtl89k
|
ivse8pz
| 1,668,091,905 | 1,668,063,185 | 6 | 3 |
Absolutely without a doubt, giving your DNA is a bad idea. It CAN be used to rule you out, but it'll be stored in a national database. I watch discovery ID a lot, and I can't count the amount of times I've watched someone talk themselves into handcuffs by trying to be "helpful ". You're under no obligation whatsoever to help the police do their job. You should call a lawyer immediately and not answer any further questions until you have (at the very least) had a consultation with one. There are just so many things that can possibly go wrong by "helping " them. You were the victim of a crime, check into a victims advocate in your area, see if there is any assistance available to you through that as well.
|
They are probably trying to eliminate your DNA from another person’s DNA within your car. You cannot be compelled to do so without some sort of judicial order. The police, arguably, could use your DNA to assist a different investigation in a way that isn’t helpful to you. It’s up to you whether you feel this risk is worth taking.
| 1 | 28,720 | 2 |
yqvqn3
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
Why am I being asked for a DNA sample after my car has been stolen? Brief recap of the situation: My car was stolen sometime between a Friday evening and a Sunday afternoon. Filed a police report on that afternoon, reported to insurance Monday morning. Tuesday morning I was informed my car was used in several violent crimes, including robbery, in a nearby city. Suspects involved were not arrested and the car was not recovered, but police are on the lookout. Answered several questions over the phone about my car to aid in identifying it. Was then asked to provide a detective with a DNA sample in order to, quote, "rule me out" of suspicion should the vehicle be recovered. I just want to ensure that I am making the right decision in agreeing to provide DNA, or if this will put me at risk for a wrongful accusation. I'm a young woman and a college student. I'm dumb, scared, and I do not know what my rights are in this situation. Why am I really being asked to provide DNA? My DNA is obviously going to be in the car because it was *my* car. What are the risks in this situation? I do not want to be misled or taken advantage of for the sake of being agreeable. Thank you for reading, please help if you can.
|
ivskslm
|
ivtl89k
| 1,668,068,522 | 1,668,091,905 | 2 | 6 |
If someone's DNA is taken like this and stored in a national database, is it possible to somehow request that the data be deleted?
|
Absolutely without a doubt, giving your DNA is a bad idea. It CAN be used to rule you out, but it'll be stored in a national database. I watch discovery ID a lot, and I can't count the amount of times I've watched someone talk themselves into handcuffs by trying to be "helpful ". You're under no obligation whatsoever to help the police do their job. You should call a lawyer immediately and not answer any further questions until you have (at the very least) had a consultation with one. There are just so many things that can possibly go wrong by "helping " them. You were the victim of a crime, check into a victims advocate in your area, see if there is any assistance available to you through that as well.
| 0 | 23,383 | 3 |
yqvqn3
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
Why am I being asked for a DNA sample after my car has been stolen? Brief recap of the situation: My car was stolen sometime between a Friday evening and a Sunday afternoon. Filed a police report on that afternoon, reported to insurance Monday morning. Tuesday morning I was informed my car was used in several violent crimes, including robbery, in a nearby city. Suspects involved were not arrested and the car was not recovered, but police are on the lookout. Answered several questions over the phone about my car to aid in identifying it. Was then asked to provide a detective with a DNA sample in order to, quote, "rule me out" of suspicion should the vehicle be recovered. I just want to ensure that I am making the right decision in agreeing to provide DNA, or if this will put me at risk for a wrongful accusation. I'm a young woman and a college student. I'm dumb, scared, and I do not know what my rights are in this situation. Why am I really being asked to provide DNA? My DNA is obviously going to be in the car because it was *my* car. What are the risks in this situation? I do not want to be misled or taken advantage of for the sake of being agreeable. Thank you for reading, please help if you can.
|
ivt6icy
|
ivtl89k
| 1,668,084,931 | 1,668,091,905 | 2 | 6 |
…again there are several ways to rule you out without DNA. It’s surprising they would choose to request a sample first. DNA labs cost money
|
Absolutely without a doubt, giving your DNA is a bad idea. It CAN be used to rule you out, but it'll be stored in a national database. I watch discovery ID a lot, and I can't count the amount of times I've watched someone talk themselves into handcuffs by trying to be "helpful ". You're under no obligation whatsoever to help the police do their job. You should call a lawyer immediately and not answer any further questions until you have (at the very least) had a consultation with one. There are just so many things that can possibly go wrong by "helping " them. You were the victim of a crime, check into a victims advocate in your area, see if there is any assistance available to you through that as well.
| 0 | 6,974 | 3 |
dqt410
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
[NYC] Manager interrogating me after-work asking exactly what I am using a personal day for. Threatened to be fired if I did not comply, I admitted a medical reason with details. Written up, most likely fired. Recourse? I live in NYC and I am a teacher. I needed to use a personal day, and messaged my boss about it. My boss has a tendency to ignore me messages, but I am always reassured that "he reads everything". I have gotten in trouble before for calling this out, so I simply left the message on Tuesday. Friday rolls around, still no reply. I send another message just further verifying the situation, and I take off the Saturday (today). Two hours later, I get a call from my boss. She is demanding to know why I am skipping work. I explained I messaged her about this days ago, but she had ignored my messages. She admits she missed my message, but then explains she is a manager and is allowed to miss messages because she deals with so much. Suddenly, she asks me what I am doing on my day off. I explain that I need to be someplace. This was not good enough. My boss asked for more information. I explained that I have an appointment. Not good enough. Again. She asked "appointment for what?" At this point I get extremely uncomfortable and I explain that I need to attend something related to my health. Again, this was not good enough. It got to the point where she repeated "I need to know exactly what you are doing on Saturday" that I spilled the beans and explained I have an inactive thyroid problem with blood pressure issues and I want to attend a seminar on solutions. This satisfied her, and we both hung up. The entire time I was on the phone with my principle, I could hear soft chattering and clicking glasses in the background. She was obviously at a bar, and was drinking with her friends showing off her "authority". I am in shock. I know for fact there will be a meeting about this Monday. However, my roommate mentioned how my principle basically violated EOC laws. Basically, her asking such in-depth questions about my personal days is apparently a violation? Especially discussing this in front of other people? I want to watch myself with the possibility of being fired, and if so, can I use this as a complaint to HR? I do not want to involve a lawyer of unemployment benefits if I am let go, but this seems so shady to me. Is what my principle did legal?
|
f69mzep
|
f69gkhn
| 1,572,744,193 | 1,572,741,586 | 68 | 27 |
In New York there are no laws that provide any type of leave and that if the employer provides a leave, then the employer must comply with any established employment contract or policy. So you need to consult your union contract (assuming you are in a union) and your school/districts policy relating to using your leave. She however didn’t have a right to know why and you didn’t have an obligation to tell her, so you’ll need to sort this out when you have your meeting. If you’re union make sure your rep is present and if you survive (not fired) file a complaint. That’s really all you can do.
|
Your boss is a jerk but she didn't break the law.
| 1 | 2,607 | 2.518519 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy2rr57
|
gy2slmz
| 1,620,979,629 | 1,620,980,416 | 266 | 3,922 |
Petition the court for the removal of the trustee. You'll have to convince them the trustee isn't acting in your best interest and/or is disloyal to you. He's acting like he has a conservatorship, talking about you're not responsible. What are the terms of the trust? At some age, you should have full access. Does the trust document say you have to meet some sort of responsibiliy standard? If not, he's overstepping his bounds. Here's a Minnesota resource (the info is good for trusts in general not just for probate): https://www.daveburnslaw.com/probate/2017/07/19/minnesota-how-to-remove-a-trustee/#:\~:text=Authority%20to%20remove%20a%20trustee,of%20trust%20income%20or%20principal.
|
I am not your attorney and this is not legal advice. Generally, if you have a serious legal question you should consult an attorney in the applicable jurisdiction. Consultations are often free. That said, beneficiaries generally have the right to be kept reasonably informed about the administration of a trust. That includes the right to an accounting of the trust’s assets. If the trustee will not provide you an accounting, you can force the trustee to provide one but you will have to go to court to do so. Also if you do not trust the trustee to administer the trust, you can ask a court to remove the trustee. In my experience with trusts, your story sounds like your father has misappropriated the trust funds and the money is gone. If that turns out to be the case, your recourse would be to sue for breach of trust.
| 0 | 787 | 14.744361 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy341k2
|
gy3ffxf
| 1,620,990,503 | 1,620,997,369 | 387 | 811 |
Hi! Been doing trust work for a decade. This is a rough one and im sorry you are going through this. As others have said you would most likely be the income and principal (principal being the funds from your settlement) beneficiary of the trust. Most jurisdictions allow primary beneficiaries to demand an accounting from a trustee. The accounting will have all the transactions that the trustee made on behalf of the trust. There you can find out the This will not be easy or cheap regretfully. An attorney will almost certainly be required. Its also very possible based off the character of your father he just might say fuck it and not prepare the accounting. If you know where the trust has its bank accounts you MAY be able to get account statements from the bank as beneficiary. Probably not but might be worth a chance. If you have any other questions please ask!
|
In MN when you receive a settlement as a minor you need to file for court approval of that settlement and it then goes into a trust account overseen by the court. When you turn 18 you have to file some paperwork with that court to obtain access to that account. You mentioned your dad had you fill out some paperwork when you turned 18, perhaps that was the paperwork to remove your money from that court supervised account. If that is the case your money is probably gone and no longer in a trust account. If you recall what county the case was filed in, just google that county's court district, and call the clerk. Explain to them what you are looking for and they will at least be able to tell you if that paperwork was filed with the court when you turned 18.
| 0 | 6,866 | 2.095607 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy3ffxf
|
gy34vxr
| 1,620,997,369 | 1,620,991,110 | 811 | 290 |
In MN when you receive a settlement as a minor you need to file for court approval of that settlement and it then goes into a trust account overseen by the court. When you turn 18 you have to file some paperwork with that court to obtain access to that account. You mentioned your dad had you fill out some paperwork when you turned 18, perhaps that was the paperwork to remove your money from that court supervised account. If that is the case your money is probably gone and no longer in a trust account. If you recall what county the case was filed in, just google that county's court district, and call the clerk. Explain to them what you are looking for and they will at least be able to tell you if that paperwork was filed with the court when you turned 18.
|
If you remember the identity of the attorney who drafted the trust, asking them for a copy may be fruitful. I would provide a beneficiary a copy of a trust as it is not privileged; beneficiaries have the right to be reasonably informed, including reviewing the trust instrument.
| 1 | 6,259 | 2.796552 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy2rr57
|
gy3ffxf
| 1,620,979,629 | 1,620,997,369 | 266 | 811 |
Petition the court for the removal of the trustee. You'll have to convince them the trustee isn't acting in your best interest and/or is disloyal to you. He's acting like he has a conservatorship, talking about you're not responsible. What are the terms of the trust? At some age, you should have full access. Does the trust document say you have to meet some sort of responsibiliy standard? If not, he's overstepping his bounds. Here's a Minnesota resource (the info is good for trusts in general not just for probate): https://www.daveburnslaw.com/probate/2017/07/19/minnesota-how-to-remove-a-trustee/#:\~:text=Authority%20to%20remove%20a%20trustee,of%20trust%20income%20or%20principal.
|
In MN when you receive a settlement as a minor you need to file for court approval of that settlement and it then goes into a trust account overseen by the court. When you turn 18 you have to file some paperwork with that court to obtain access to that account. You mentioned your dad had you fill out some paperwork when you turned 18, perhaps that was the paperwork to remove your money from that court supervised account. If that is the case your money is probably gone and no longer in a trust account. If you recall what county the case was filed in, just google that county's court district, and call the clerk. Explain to them what you are looking for and they will at least be able to tell you if that paperwork was filed with the court when you turned 18.
| 0 | 17,740 | 3.048872 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy3ffxf
|
gy3dbwa
| 1,620,997,369 | 1,620,996,248 | 811 | 131 |
In MN when you receive a settlement as a minor you need to file for court approval of that settlement and it then goes into a trust account overseen by the court. When you turn 18 you have to file some paperwork with that court to obtain access to that account. You mentioned your dad had you fill out some paperwork when you turned 18, perhaps that was the paperwork to remove your money from that court supervised account. If that is the case your money is probably gone and no longer in a trust account. If you recall what county the case was filed in, just google that county's court district, and call the clerk. Explain to them what you are looking for and they will at least be able to tell you if that paperwork was filed with the court when you turned 18.
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Lawyer. Just out of curiosity, how did you "win some money" as a result of being assaulted by your brother? By the sound of him, I doubt he has/had any money. It doesn't sound like you sued anyone either. The only thing I can think of is a negligent supervision claim against your father which caused his homeowners insurance policy to pay the claim. But if that were the case, he never would have been made the trustee... So will you explain a little more about what actually happened ? Just so you know, beneficiaries are entitled to an accounting of trust assets, which will reveal any misappropriation, which gives you grounds for removal/replacement of the trustee by that needs to be done in court.
| 1 | 1,121 | 6.19084 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy3ffxf
|
gy36wn5
| 1,620,997,369 | 1,620,992,448 | 811 | 118 |
In MN when you receive a settlement as a minor you need to file for court approval of that settlement and it then goes into a trust account overseen by the court. When you turn 18 you have to file some paperwork with that court to obtain access to that account. You mentioned your dad had you fill out some paperwork when you turned 18, perhaps that was the paperwork to remove your money from that court supervised account. If that is the case your money is probably gone and no longer in a trust account. If you recall what county the case was filed in, just google that county's court district, and call the clerk. Explain to them what you are looking for and they will at least be able to tell you if that paperwork was filed with the court when you turned 18.
|
Seek a lawyer. You need legal advice. In terms of sourcing the paperwork, they can do that for you.
| 1 | 4,921 | 6.872881 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy2rr57
|
gy341k2
| 1,620,979,629 | 1,620,990,503 | 266 | 387 |
Petition the court for the removal of the trustee. You'll have to convince them the trustee isn't acting in your best interest and/or is disloyal to you. He's acting like he has a conservatorship, talking about you're not responsible. What are the terms of the trust? At some age, you should have full access. Does the trust document say you have to meet some sort of responsibiliy standard? If not, he's overstepping his bounds. Here's a Minnesota resource (the info is good for trusts in general not just for probate): https://www.daveburnslaw.com/probate/2017/07/19/minnesota-how-to-remove-a-trustee/#:\~:text=Authority%20to%20remove%20a%20trustee,of%20trust%20income%20or%20principal.
|
Hi! Been doing trust work for a decade. This is a rough one and im sorry you are going through this. As others have said you would most likely be the income and principal (principal being the funds from your settlement) beneficiary of the trust. Most jurisdictions allow primary beneficiaries to demand an accounting from a trustee. The accounting will have all the transactions that the trustee made on behalf of the trust. There you can find out the This will not be easy or cheap regretfully. An attorney will almost certainly be required. Its also very possible based off the character of your father he just might say fuck it and not prepare the accounting. If you know where the trust has its bank accounts you MAY be able to get account statements from the bank as beneficiary. Probably not but might be worth a chance. If you have any other questions please ask!
| 0 | 10,874 | 1.454887 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy34vxr
|
gy2rr57
| 1,620,991,110 | 1,620,979,629 | 290 | 266 |
If you remember the identity of the attorney who drafted the trust, asking them for a copy may be fruitful. I would provide a beneficiary a copy of a trust as it is not privileged; beneficiaries have the right to be reasonably informed, including reviewing the trust instrument.
|
Petition the court for the removal of the trustee. You'll have to convince them the trustee isn't acting in your best interest and/or is disloyal to you. He's acting like he has a conservatorship, talking about you're not responsible. What are the terms of the trust? At some age, you should have full access. Does the trust document say you have to meet some sort of responsibiliy standard? If not, he's overstepping his bounds. Here's a Minnesota resource (the info is good for trusts in general not just for probate): https://www.daveburnslaw.com/probate/2017/07/19/minnesota-how-to-remove-a-trustee/#:\~:text=Authority%20to%20remove%20a%20trustee,of%20trust%20income%20or%20principal.
| 1 | 11,481 | 1.090226 |
nc312j
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I received a settlement from being raped when I was a teenager, I placed it in a trust with my father as the trustee. I am now an adult and ten years has passed since the creation of the trust. I have asked to have access to the funds and I have been denied many times. Hello. This question is in regards to Minnesota and the United States. I got raped and won some money. I made my dad a trustee because people can tend to trust their parents with their money but I’m having serious misgivings and I’m very worried that my money has been tampered with. My dad on many different occasions when asked about spending the money on things that I need such as a car for work, to pay medical bills, to buy a home to live in, he has said “when I die I will make someone else the trustee and when you are responsible enough to hold the accounts you can have it.” Other times it has been “when you get a productive and contributive job you can have it.” I no longer trust my father since he committed several crimes against me. My brother is a pedophile and violently raped me for a decade while he was both a minor and then as an adult. When I told my schools guidance counselor, they told the police, and when I was brought in for questioning, just before my Dad said, “you can either keep the family together or you can send your brother to jail.” He asp told me that if my brother got in trouble he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I now know that this is witness intimidation and child neglect. When I was 18 he gave me some papers “to just sign” and I did like a fucking idiot. I haven’t gotten a single update in any form on the funds. I don’t even have a copy of the formational documents. I’m not a stupid or irresponsible person. I put myself through college, twice! I’ve worked in a variety of professional capacities. The trust was established in Minnesota. Can I ask him to provide me a copy of the contracts? Can I ask him to show me the accounts where the money is held? What if he refuses? How can I, an adult in my 26th year receive the settlement funds I won for being raped as a child. Please help.
|
gy36wn5
|
gy3dbwa
| 1,620,992,448 | 1,620,996,248 | 118 | 131 |
Seek a lawyer. You need legal advice. In terms of sourcing the paperwork, they can do that for you.
|
Lawyer. Just out of curiosity, how did you "win some money" as a result of being assaulted by your brother? By the sound of him, I doubt he has/had any money. It doesn't sound like you sued anyone either. The only thing I can think of is a negligent supervision claim against your father which caused his homeowners insurance policy to pay the claim. But if that were the case, he never would have been made the trustee... So will you explain a little more about what actually happened ? Just so you know, beneficiaries are entitled to an accounting of trust assets, which will reveal any misappropriation, which gives you grounds for removal/replacement of the trustee by that needs to be done in court.
| 0 | 3,800 | 1.110169 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
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iok9ek5
|
iojfd39
| 1,663,266,076 | 1,663,254,461 | 242 | 187 |
INAL but I work in a bank in disputes/chargebacks. I am a little confused on all of the responses so far… the bank will make the victim who’s card was stolen whole and then the bank has to asses whether they have chargeback rights to the store. In cases of stolen cards it is not always automatic that the store who accepted the stolen card is at fault and will have to pay. I can’t say for sure without knowing whether this was a credit card/debit card and whether it was visa, mc, Amex etc. I am more well versed in visa chargeback rights and if this was a digital wallet (Apple Pay) transaction then there likely is no chargeback rights with Visa so the store won’t even have to pay the bank back. The only other thing that throws me off is the “manual” entry. Banks can tell if the card number is physically typed in and in that case it would read as “keyed” and there may be chargeback rights in that case. But since you didn’t type anything in then maybe “manual” has another meaning here that is exclusive to your POS and not visa’s system. Again…. Not an expert so don’t come at me lawyers please!! Also if this guy got a stolen card added to Apple Pay then there was a bank failure way before this transaction….
|
>So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? Your employer will eat the cost of the liquor. A claim will be filed for the stolen card, the charges will be reversed, but they're never getting that product back. As for you being held responsible, unfortunately, you can be fired for basically anything in this country (assuming you're in the US). As long as it's not discrimination. If you work for one of the big alcohol selling corporations, you're probably fine. They'll have policies and such in place for issues like that, as well as a theft budget to charge it against. Smaller places tend to not have those same protections, so you'll likely be hearing from the owner. Under no circumstances do you pay them back though. It wasn't your fault, but even if it somehow was, requiring you to pay for it would be illegal.
| 1 | 11,615 | 1.294118 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
|
iok8o5n
|
iok9ek5
| 1,663,265,789 | 1,663,266,076 | 52 | 242 |
Not legal advice, talk to your boss about this: You have to dig into the fact that receipt says manual entry while it clearly didn't happen. It may due to your terminal has a flaw that allows declined card to be treated as manually entered. The Apple Pay device may be not actually Apple Pay. It might be a magnetic stripe emulator (can be done with hacked LoopPay) that intentionally makes the device to decline the card first, and fallback into manual entry. A manually entered credit card is usually not protected by card issuer and your store will be liable for the chargeback.
|
INAL but I work in a bank in disputes/chargebacks. I am a little confused on all of the responses so far… the bank will make the victim who’s card was stolen whole and then the bank has to asses whether they have chargeback rights to the store. In cases of stolen cards it is not always automatic that the store who accepted the stolen card is at fault and will have to pay. I can’t say for sure without knowing whether this was a credit card/debit card and whether it was visa, mc, Amex etc. I am more well versed in visa chargeback rights and if this was a digital wallet (Apple Pay) transaction then there likely is no chargeback rights with Visa so the store won’t even have to pay the bank back. The only other thing that throws me off is the “manual” entry. Banks can tell if the card number is physically typed in and in that case it would read as “keyed” and there may be chargeback rights in that case. But since you didn’t type anything in then maybe “manual” has another meaning here that is exclusive to your POS and not visa’s system. Again…. Not an expert so don’t come at me lawyers please!! Also if this guy got a stolen card added to Apple Pay then there was a bank failure way before this transaction….
| 0 | 287 | 4.653846 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
|
iok0wf4
|
iok9ek5
| 1,663,262,746 | 1,663,266,076 | 24 | 242 |
Your employer will be the one footing the bill. They'll need to work with the police to get reparation from the thief. Since this was manual entry per your post, I would look up the company the pin pads are through and see how to turn off manual entry. Honestly, there isn't a reason a pin pad should have manual entry available in today's world of cards where they have chips, tap, and swipe functions. It is asking for liability where a business needs to protect themselves from fraud. Can this be claimed on insurance? Yes and no. It is a theft and can be claimed but it would generally be below threshold for deductible. I'd honestly work with your employer to prevent this situation from happening again with the turn off manual entry.
|
INAL but I work in a bank in disputes/chargebacks. I am a little confused on all of the responses so far… the bank will make the victim who’s card was stolen whole and then the bank has to asses whether they have chargeback rights to the store. In cases of stolen cards it is not always automatic that the store who accepted the stolen card is at fault and will have to pay. I can’t say for sure without knowing whether this was a credit card/debit card and whether it was visa, mc, Amex etc. I am more well versed in visa chargeback rights and if this was a digital wallet (Apple Pay) transaction then there likely is no chargeback rights with Visa so the store won’t even have to pay the bank back. The only other thing that throws me off is the “manual” entry. Banks can tell if the card number is physically typed in and in that case it would read as “keyed” and there may be chargeback rights in that case. But since you didn’t type anything in then maybe “manual” has another meaning here that is exclusive to your POS and not visa’s system. Again…. Not an expert so don’t come at me lawyers please!! Also if this guy got a stolen card added to Apple Pay then there was a bank failure way before this transaction….
| 0 | 3,330 | 10.083333 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
|
iok9ek5
|
iok1t6q
| 1,663,266,076 | 1,663,263,103 | 242 | 10 |
INAL but I work in a bank in disputes/chargebacks. I am a little confused on all of the responses so far… the bank will make the victim who’s card was stolen whole and then the bank has to asses whether they have chargeback rights to the store. In cases of stolen cards it is not always automatic that the store who accepted the stolen card is at fault and will have to pay. I can’t say for sure without knowing whether this was a credit card/debit card and whether it was visa, mc, Amex etc. I am more well versed in visa chargeback rights and if this was a digital wallet (Apple Pay) transaction then there likely is no chargeback rights with Visa so the store won’t even have to pay the bank back. The only other thing that throws me off is the “manual” entry. Banks can tell if the card number is physically typed in and in that case it would read as “keyed” and there may be chargeback rights in that case. But since you didn’t type anything in then maybe “manual” has another meaning here that is exclusive to your POS and not visa’s system. Again…. Not an expert so don’t come at me lawyers please!! Also if this guy got a stolen card added to Apple Pay then there was a bank failure way before this transaction….
|
Real account holders will dispute charges and it’ll be charged back to the retailer. You have no personal liability.
| 1 | 2,973 | 24.2 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
|
iok8o5n
|
iok0wf4
| 1,663,265,789 | 1,663,262,746 | 52 | 24 |
Not legal advice, talk to your boss about this: You have to dig into the fact that receipt says manual entry while it clearly didn't happen. It may due to your terminal has a flaw that allows declined card to be treated as manually entered. The Apple Pay device may be not actually Apple Pay. It might be a magnetic stripe emulator (can be done with hacked LoopPay) that intentionally makes the device to decline the card first, and fallback into manual entry. A manually entered credit card is usually not protected by card issuer and your store will be liable for the chargeback.
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Your employer will be the one footing the bill. They'll need to work with the police to get reparation from the thief. Since this was manual entry per your post, I would look up the company the pin pads are through and see how to turn off manual entry. Honestly, there isn't a reason a pin pad should have manual entry available in today's world of cards where they have chips, tap, and swipe functions. It is asking for liability where a business needs to protect themselves from fraud. Can this be claimed on insurance? Yes and no. It is a theft and can be claimed but it would generally be below threshold for deductible. I'd honestly work with your employer to prevent this situation from happening again with the turn off manual entry.
| 1 | 3,043 | 2.166667 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
|
iok1t6q
|
iok8o5n
| 1,663,263,103 | 1,663,265,789 | 10 | 52 |
Real account holders will dispute charges and it’ll be charged back to the retailer. You have no personal liability.
|
Not legal advice, talk to your boss about this: You have to dig into the fact that receipt says manual entry while it clearly didn't happen. It may due to your terminal has a flaw that allows declined card to be treated as manually entered. The Apple Pay device may be not actually Apple Pay. It might be a magnetic stripe emulator (can be done with hacked LoopPay) that intentionally makes the device to decline the card first, and fallback into manual entry. A manually entered credit card is usually not protected by card issuer and your store will be liable for the chargeback.
| 0 | 2,686 | 5.2 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
|
iokx27g
|
iok1t6q
| 1,663,275,386 | 1,663,263,103 | 15 | 10 |
FYI, in most of the world it is normal to enter in a pin for a credit card transaction.
|
Real account holders will dispute charges and it’ll be charged back to the retailer. You have no personal liability.
| 1 | 12,283 | 1.5 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
|
iom938o
|
iolndmd
| 1,663,296,693 | 1,663,286,889 | 8 | 4 |
If he had stolen cards he probably had the stolen phone the cards was linked too as well and he was Replying “YES” after the transaction was denied firstly he would than get a text message asking if he purchase such and such with the amount and to confirm “yes or no” and he hit yes and the safety feature clicked off for it to get approved. Super Shitty but that’s probably how he did it. And given possibly the owner had his phone stolen he couldn’t freeze his cards in time before this happened. What a MESS.
|
I am not a lawyer. Your company is more than likely on the hook for this. A chargeback will be issued, so you wont have the money paid, or the product. Depending on insurance, you may get something back, but also could get a tax right off for the loss. *Source* Liquor Store employee for 12 years. My advice to you and/or your company. Were the high end bottles Champagne, Cognac and/or Tequila? Anybody trying to make large purchases for those are most likely a scam (they have the most street value to be flipped). If they run one transaction, then immediately try to run another for similar items, its a stolen card. If they have to type in the CC number but dont have the physical card, its a stolen card. If they try to run the card for something small, then make another purchase for something large, its a stolen card. If they have to "call somebody for an authorization code" or type it in, its a stolen credit card. We have taken many measures to prevent these types of fraud, but ultimately, everytime you stomp out one, another one pops up. The ultimate safety measure for your company is to not accept manual CC entries unless the physical card is present and not working from swiping/chip, but even then, I still wouldnt recommend it because this method by-passes safety protocols to prevent fraud.
| 1 | 9,804 | 2 |
xev8kc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
A customer came into my place of work and used stolen credit card info to make two separate large purchases. Who is going to be out that money? Am I going to be held responsible? Texas I work at a liquor store. A guy came in and told me his brother was getting married so he was going to need my top shelf stuff. He came in and bought the most expensive bottles, asked for them by name. The first transaction was almost $700. I checked his ID and while it was out of state, it looked like every other Colorado ID I see in a week. He used what I thought was Apple Pay on his phone. The only thing I thought was weird was that he kept asking for a box before his transaction completed. There was no way I was going to walk away from that amount of liquor so I just told him yeah after we finish up here. I also thought it was odd he was typing in a pin when he was using a credit card but I just assumed he had extra security in place. The transaction declined the first time, but that’s not unusual with Apple Pay when there’s a bigger case on the phone so I asked if he wanted to try again. He did, transaction approved. Cool. He drops that box off in his car and comes back. Brother wants more stuff for the party. Okay sure. Buys specific bottles again. Less expensive bottles but more of them. Same thing as the first transaction, it declines, he says oh crap can we run it again? I say yeah of course, it approves the second time. An hour later we get a call “someone used my card for like $600?” So it was stolen. I looked at the store copies of the receipts and noticed they said manual entry, which I’ve never seen before. I also noticed that he used different cards for both transactions, which wasn’t a red flag at the time because such large purchases being spread out over multiple cards is common when I get them. So who is going to eat the cost of that? The CC company? My employers? Am I somehow going to be responsible? Can I be fired over something like this? There’s about 12 cameras pointed at me and that front desk, they’re going to clearly see I didn’t type in any numbers manually and they’ll also see me IDing him. So I feel like I did my due diligence but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in a situation like that.
|
iol1x8l
|
iom938o
| 1,663,277,362 | 1,663,296,693 | 6 | 8 |
Why do you believe you would be held responsible for this?
|
If he had stolen cards he probably had the stolen phone the cards was linked too as well and he was Replying “YES” after the transaction was denied firstly he would than get a text message asking if he purchase such and such with the amount and to confirm “yes or no” and he hit yes and the safety feature clicked off for it to get approved. Super Shitty but that’s probably how he did it. And given possibly the owner had his phone stolen he couldn’t freeze his cards in time before this happened. What a MESS.
| 0 | 19,331 | 1.333333 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inu4bz8
|
inu1ndw
| 1,662,801,851 | 1,662,799,532 | 464 | 75 |
He cannot just kick you out of the residence. Even if you were just an acquaintance of his and he was letting you sleep on the couch, he would still have to give you proper notice and time to find a new place to live. The exact length of that time would depend on the state in which you live. Often, it's 30 days. Once the custody battle begins, you may be able to remove him from your child's life completely. But if you can't do that, ask your attorney whether you can get the court to order him to submit to regular drug tests. It's the best way to protect your child while she is in his care.
|
Yup get yourself to a shelter ASAP. Find a friend who will let you store as much of your belongings as possible. If opiates aren't decriminalized in your area, I would alert the cops. It starts the trail of documentation so a judge will be less likely to give him custody
| 1 | 2,319 | 6.186667 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inu4bz8
|
inu2ele
| 1,662,801,851 | 1,662,800,186 | 464 | 23 |
He cannot just kick you out of the residence. Even if you were just an acquaintance of his and he was letting you sleep on the couch, he would still have to give you proper notice and time to find a new place to live. The exact length of that time would depend on the state in which you live. Often, it's 30 days. Once the custody battle begins, you may be able to remove him from your child's life completely. But if you can't do that, ask your attorney whether you can get the court to order him to submit to regular drug tests. It's the best way to protect your child while she is in his care.
|
Document everything and take as much paperwork as you can to a friend for safe keeping you’d be surprised what will go missing once you move out. Video with your phone all the possessions in the home etc before/if you leave the property. The shelter should have some access to basic legal advise about access to funds and what you can legally remove from joint accounts etc if you have them. Most of all don’t trust a word he says or anything he promises. You should also ask for legal advise on the school situation and how to handle the possibility he may turn up at school and try to remove her.
| 1 | 1,665 | 20.173913 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inw0se4
|
inu1ndw
| 1,662,835,919 | 1,662,799,532 | 97 | 75 |
I'd get the jump on him. Start pulling all important papers and a chunk of money and get it into a safe place. I'd also get a really cheap burner phone (that he doesn't know about) so that you can have all numbers you need at hand and can still communicate as needed. I'd pack a suitcase for each of you and store them at a friends in case you need to leave fast. Get started on Legal Aid. Hell, some lawyers may give you a free consultation if you call and ask. Get any pets to safety, if you have any. Move fast and move silently. The further ahead you are and the less he knows, the better. Good luck! 🤞
|
Yup get yourself to a shelter ASAP. Find a friend who will let you store as much of your belongings as possible. If opiates aren't decriminalized in your area, I would alert the cops. It starts the trail of documentation so a judge will be less likely to give him custody
| 1 | 36,387 | 1.293333 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inw0se4
|
invg77c
| 1,662,835,919 | 1,662,827,697 | 97 | 75 |
I'd get the jump on him. Start pulling all important papers and a chunk of money and get it into a safe place. I'd also get a really cheap burner phone (that he doesn't know about) so that you can have all numbers you need at hand and can still communicate as needed. I'd pack a suitcase for each of you and store them at a friends in case you need to leave fast. Get started on Legal Aid. Hell, some lawyers may give you a free consultation if you call and ask. Get any pets to safety, if you have any. Move fast and move silently. The further ahead you are and the less he knows, the better. Good luck! 🤞
|
Something no one has mentioned so far: Without a custody agreement, *either* of you can do whatever they want with your child (assuming he's on the birth certificate). Which means you can take her to stay at a shelter or with a friend, but he could do the same thing. If he picks her up from school, he can take her to his girlfriend's place, and you wouldn't have power to get her back until you go to court. If you shared a bank account, you can take a reasonable amount out yourself, but don't take all of it unless your paycheck was the only one that went into the account.
| 1 | 8,222 | 1.293333 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inw0se4
|
inu2ele
| 1,662,835,919 | 1,662,800,186 | 97 | 23 |
I'd get the jump on him. Start pulling all important papers and a chunk of money and get it into a safe place. I'd also get a really cheap burner phone (that he doesn't know about) so that you can have all numbers you need at hand and can still communicate as needed. I'd pack a suitcase for each of you and store them at a friends in case you need to leave fast. Get started on Legal Aid. Hell, some lawyers may give you a free consultation if you call and ask. Get any pets to safety, if you have any. Move fast and move silently. The further ahead you are and the less he knows, the better. Good luck! 🤞
|
Document everything and take as much paperwork as you can to a friend for safe keeping you’d be surprised what will go missing once you move out. Video with your phone all the possessions in the home etc before/if you leave the property. The shelter should have some access to basic legal advise about access to funds and what you can legally remove from joint accounts etc if you have them. Most of all don’t trust a word he says or anything he promises. You should also ask for legal advise on the school situation and how to handle the possibility he may turn up at school and try to remove her.
| 1 | 35,733 | 4.217391 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
invprcv
|
inw0se4
| 1,662,831,515 | 1,662,835,919 | 9 | 97 |
This actually depends on the state they live in, since they were never married. In my state the mother automatically has full custody until or unless they go to court for a custody agreement. It’s definitely something she needs to look into.
|
I'd get the jump on him. Start pulling all important papers and a chunk of money and get it into a safe place. I'd also get a really cheap burner phone (that he doesn't know about) so that you can have all numbers you need at hand and can still communicate as needed. I'd pack a suitcase for each of you and store them at a friends in case you need to leave fast. Get started on Legal Aid. Hell, some lawyers may give you a free consultation if you call and ask. Get any pets to safety, if you have any. Move fast and move silently. The further ahead you are and the less he knows, the better. Good luck! 🤞
| 0 | 4,404 | 10.777778 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inu2ele
|
invg77c
| 1,662,800,186 | 1,662,827,697 | 23 | 75 |
Document everything and take as much paperwork as you can to a friend for safe keeping you’d be surprised what will go missing once you move out. Video with your phone all the possessions in the home etc before/if you leave the property. The shelter should have some access to basic legal advise about access to funds and what you can legally remove from joint accounts etc if you have them. Most of all don’t trust a word he says or anything he promises. You should also ask for legal advise on the school situation and how to handle the possibility he may turn up at school and try to remove her.
|
Something no one has mentioned so far: Without a custody agreement, *either* of you can do whatever they want with your child (assuming he's on the birth certificate). Which means you can take her to stay at a shelter or with a friend, but he could do the same thing. If he picks her up from school, he can take her to his girlfriend's place, and you wouldn't have power to get her back until you go to court. If you shared a bank account, you can take a reasonable amount out yourself, but don't take all of it unless your paycheck was the only one that went into the account.
| 0 | 27,511 | 3.26087 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inw82py
|
inw42de
| 1,662,838,821 | 1,662,837,232 | 18 | 12 |
Not a lawyer, your safety and the safety of your child are top priority he is trying to intimidate you. Take what you need medicine, Id, bank documents etc everything of importance. See if a friend can store other important bits of property of yours whilst you can. Go to a woman’s shelter and get legal aid. I feel bad saying this but report him for the drugs what happens to him and the business isn’t your responsibility. Your responsibility it to your child and yourself x stay safe
|
Please edit your state into the OP? Custody/parental rights can vary vastly from state to state for unmarried couples.
| 1 | 1,589 | 1.5 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inw82py
|
invprcv
| 1,662,838,821 | 1,662,831,515 | 18 | 9 |
Not a lawyer, your safety and the safety of your child are top priority he is trying to intimidate you. Take what you need medicine, Id, bank documents etc everything of importance. See if a friend can store other important bits of property of yours whilst you can. Go to a woman’s shelter and get legal aid. I feel bad saying this but report him for the drugs what happens to him and the business isn’t your responsibility. Your responsibility it to your child and yourself x stay safe
|
This actually depends on the state they live in, since they were never married. In my state the mother automatically has full custody until or unless they go to court for a custody agreement. It’s definitely something she needs to look into.
| 1 | 7,306 | 2 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inw42de
|
invprcv
| 1,662,837,232 | 1,662,831,515 | 12 | 9 |
Please edit your state into the OP? Custody/parental rights can vary vastly from state to state for unmarried couples.
|
This actually depends on the state they live in, since they were never married. In my state the mother automatically has full custody until or unless they go to court for a custody agreement. It’s definitely something she needs to look into.
| 1 | 5,717 | 1.333333 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inxjm5h
|
inxs7pg
| 1,662,859,555 | 1,662,863,739 | 2 | 3 |
He can not kick you out. He has to legally evict you. Use this time to put a plan together. Check the custody laws in your state. It varies widely from state to state. For example in the state of Florida he has no legal rights because you aren’t married. He would have to file for a custody agreement. He wants 50/50 custody because he doesn’t want to pay child support. If he was really interested in parenting he would have been an active parent the past 6 years. You have 3 major things to focus on in this order: Get a job Find housing Research custody laws Do not let him bully you into anything. Get your tribe together and lean on them for support.
|
Not a lawyer- but, your state might have common law provisions. If you were together for 7 yrs or more, you’d be considered common law married. And depending on what state- you may be entitled for I half the house value. Don’t leave until you consult a lawyer. That may be why he wants you out so quickly. If he threatens you , call the cops. Call EEOC and report the work place atmosphere- you may be eligible for unemployment. Also, your child is a minor, apply for food stamps right away.
| 0 | 4,184 | 1.5 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inxl41o
|
inxs7pg
| 1,662,860,278 | 1,662,863,739 | 2 | 3 |
Well your common law partners do you do have some rights there. I’d look into those.
|
Not a lawyer- but, your state might have common law provisions. If you were together for 7 yrs or more, you’d be considered common law married. And depending on what state- you may be entitled for I half the house value. Don’t leave until you consult a lawyer. That may be why he wants you out so quickly. If he threatens you , call the cops. Call EEOC and report the work place atmosphere- you may be eligible for unemployment. Also, your child is a minor, apply for food stamps right away.
| 0 | 3,461 | 1.5 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inxs7pg
|
inxnxkx
| 1,662,863,739 | 1,662,861,656 | 3 | 2 |
Not a lawyer- but, your state might have common law provisions. If you were together for 7 yrs or more, you’d be considered common law married. And depending on what state- you may be entitled for I half the house value. Don’t leave until you consult a lawyer. That may be why he wants you out so quickly. If he threatens you , call the cops. Call EEOC and report the work place atmosphere- you may be eligible for unemployment. Also, your child is a minor, apply for food stamps right away.
|
He was just waiting for something "better" to come along wasn't he. What a creep. Get an attorney, you have rights, especially because of the child.
| 1 | 2,083 | 1.5 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inxjm5h
|
inxstpv
| 1,662,859,555 | 1,662,864,034 | 2 | 3 |
He can not kick you out. He has to legally evict you. Use this time to put a plan together. Check the custody laws in your state. It varies widely from state to state. For example in the state of Florida he has no legal rights because you aren’t married. He would have to file for a custody agreement. He wants 50/50 custody because he doesn’t want to pay child support. If he was really interested in parenting he would have been an active parent the past 6 years. You have 3 major things to focus on in this order: Get a job Find housing Research custody laws Do not let him bully you into anything. Get your tribe together and lean on them for support.
|
Contact a housing office or crisis centre immediately. Your living situation is not viable atm. If you feel in danger call a domestic violence hotline, it is domestic violence as it’s happening in your home doesn’t matter if you’re not together. Also if you’re remote it would be better to look for a place in the nearest city, get a spare bedroom for now if you can. See if you can do house cleaning for cash, hotels. As for custody sit down and put it in writing, you can get mediation. It might be an idea to say do 40/60 with the stipulation that you’ll review it in 6 months. Trust me he’ll want to change it, his gf will be primary caretaker of her kids and he’ll lump yours in too. I know it’s hard, but he will still be there and you’ll see her too and the gf will not want her over as much, he just doesn’t want less time than you. Give him Fri/sat/sun first off so you can capitalise on being free to work on weekends, most service jobs are then. Try services like airtasker, gumtree, Facebook say you are in desperate need of a job everyone know someone that has a job need to be done. Even on here. Ask quick ways to make money see what happens. Look in to public transportation in that area,
| 0 | 4,479 | 1.5 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inxstpv
|
inxl41o
| 1,662,864,034 | 1,662,860,278 | 3 | 2 |
Contact a housing office or crisis centre immediately. Your living situation is not viable atm. If you feel in danger call a domestic violence hotline, it is domestic violence as it’s happening in your home doesn’t matter if you’re not together. Also if you’re remote it would be better to look for a place in the nearest city, get a spare bedroom for now if you can. See if you can do house cleaning for cash, hotels. As for custody sit down and put it in writing, you can get mediation. It might be an idea to say do 40/60 with the stipulation that you’ll review it in 6 months. Trust me he’ll want to change it, his gf will be primary caretaker of her kids and he’ll lump yours in too. I know it’s hard, but he will still be there and you’ll see her too and the gf will not want her over as much, he just doesn’t want less time than you. Give him Fri/sat/sun first off so you can capitalise on being free to work on weekends, most service jobs are then. Try services like airtasker, gumtree, Facebook say you are in desperate need of a job everyone know someone that has a job need to be done. Even on here. Ask quick ways to make money see what happens. Look in to public transportation in that area,
|
Well your common law partners do you do have some rights there. I’d look into those.
| 1 | 3,756 | 1.5 |
xak1jg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
Boyfriend left me for another woman and wants to kick me out this weekend and take custody of our daughter My boyfriend broke up with me to be with another woman almost a month ago. We've been together for 8 years, and share a 6 year old. I am, and have always been, her primary caregiver. I have taken her to every dental and Drs appointment that she's had, take her to school, etc. We live together, and for the last couple weeks he's been staying at his new girlfriends house, while our daughter stays with me. This house is in his name, as well as the vehicles. I don't have money to move right now, or buy a car. I also just quit my job 2 days ago, because he was my boss and there was friction between him and I and the new girlfriend at work, where he just hired her. He's been threatening to evict me since I quit at work, and insisting I sign over 50/50 custody. I refused. He's never been very involved with our daughter, and he also drinks all day and is on opiates he obtains from dealers. I'm not comfortable with sending my kid over there half the time, especially because the one time she went, she was up until midnight, and did not have her hair or teeth brushed that morning. Because I won't sign over 50/50 split, he's threatening to kick me out of his house this weekend, and keep the kid, since "she can't live in the bushes with me". He also has threatened to take away any access to a vehicle, and to remove the internet connection here. I have already applied for legal aid, but I won't hear back for a few days. I'm just very concerned about the tactics he is using, and I don't know what I'm going to do, as I currently do not have another job yet, or any assets that can be of use to me. Do I take my kid to a woman's shelter? Or try to find a friend who will allow us to stay with them? I'm very worried, I appreciate any advice.
|
inxstpv
|
inxnxkx
| 1,662,864,034 | 1,662,861,656 | 3 | 2 |
Contact a housing office or crisis centre immediately. Your living situation is not viable atm. If you feel in danger call a domestic violence hotline, it is domestic violence as it’s happening in your home doesn’t matter if you’re not together. Also if you’re remote it would be better to look for a place in the nearest city, get a spare bedroom for now if you can. See if you can do house cleaning for cash, hotels. As for custody sit down and put it in writing, you can get mediation. It might be an idea to say do 40/60 with the stipulation that you’ll review it in 6 months. Trust me he’ll want to change it, his gf will be primary caretaker of her kids and he’ll lump yours in too. I know it’s hard, but he will still be there and you’ll see her too and the gf will not want her over as much, he just doesn’t want less time than you. Give him Fri/sat/sun first off so you can capitalise on being free to work on weekends, most service jobs are then. Try services like airtasker, gumtree, Facebook say you are in desperate need of a job everyone know someone that has a job need to be done. Even on here. Ask quick ways to make money see what happens. Look in to public transportation in that area,
|
He was just waiting for something "better" to come along wasn't he. What a creep. Get an attorney, you have rights, especially because of the child.
| 1 | 2,378 | 1.5 |
8y0lmr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My husband refuses to give me his address so I can serve him with divorce papers My ex and I qualify for a non adversarial divorce in the state of Connecticut. Although I have his phone number I do not have his address we have basically been in a no contact zone for the last 7 months. I reached out to him letting him know I have the paperwork and I need his address so I can serve him or to give me his lawyers info so I can have the papers sent to him. He has refused to give me any information. I know where his mother lives can I have her served ? I read online that there is a process where you can do this but I’m just wondering if anybody else is familiar with this.
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e273hnj
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e273cf7
| 1,531,323,713 | 1,531,323,595 | 170 | 56 |
At this point, you might as well get a lawyer involved. Improper service is the easiest way to get a divorce kicked out and you have to start all over again. Judges are going to be super wary service for pro se litigants. Get a lawyer to do it right. There is always an alternative means to service if you can't ascertain where someone lives. It may take additional steps and permission from the court, but it is doable.
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Check your state laws on who can serve. In CA I can have the police serve, meaning just give them a phone number and name and they can pay visit.
| 1 | 118 | 3.035714 |
8y0lmr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My husband refuses to give me his address so I can serve him with divorce papers My ex and I qualify for a non adversarial divorce in the state of Connecticut. Although I have his phone number I do not have his address we have basically been in a no contact zone for the last 7 months. I reached out to him letting him know I have the paperwork and I need his address so I can serve him or to give me his lawyers info so I can have the papers sent to him. He has refused to give me any information. I know where his mother lives can I have her served ? I read online that there is a process where you can do this but I’m just wondering if anybody else is familiar with this.
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e27judq
|
e2840mf
| 1,531,336,464 | 1,531,353,132 | 4 | 9 |
Ianal but my state allowed alternate means of service when my ex wife did this. I submitted a request for alternate service means and was able to serve her through email instead. You might want to look in to if your state will allow this.
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Just a thought, check your credit report. If you're married to him a joint credit account would be owed by both of you. As long as you remain married he could easily be wracking up debt, stashing goodies then waiting to sign when he's amassed a storage locker full of stuff. Voila, he's got a lot of goodies hidden away that you get the privledge of paying half of.
| 0 | 16,668 | 2.25 |
8y0lmr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My husband refuses to give me his address so I can serve him with divorce papers My ex and I qualify for a non adversarial divorce in the state of Connecticut. Although I have his phone number I do not have his address we have basically been in a no contact zone for the last 7 months. I reached out to him letting him know I have the paperwork and I need his address so I can serve him or to give me his lawyers info so I can have the papers sent to him. He has refused to give me any information. I know where his mother lives can I have her served ? I read online that there is a process where you can do this but I’m just wondering if anybody else is familiar with this.
|
e27sx54
|
e2840mf
| 1,531,343,260 | 1,531,353,132 | 5 | 9 |
Hi OP. I am not a lawyer but I was the pro se party of a similar divorce in NJ - no assets, no kids. I served my ex but he hired an attorney, which scared me at first, but the atty really just straightened everything out and got our settlement details clearly communicated. That said: I wouldn't be worried about involving an attorney and the idea that it will become adversarial or more difficult to divorce. An attorney, though it costs money, will likely help streamline the process and show that efforts were made to serve your husband and hopefully proceed quickly to FJ of Divorce. Best of luck.
|
Just a thought, check your credit report. If you're married to him a joint credit account would be owed by both of you. As long as you remain married he could easily be wracking up debt, stashing goodies then waiting to sign when he's amassed a storage locker full of stuff. Voila, he's got a lot of goodies hidden away that you get the privledge of paying half of.
| 0 | 9,872 | 1.8 |
8y0lmr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My husband refuses to give me his address so I can serve him with divorce papers My ex and I qualify for a non adversarial divorce in the state of Connecticut. Although I have his phone number I do not have his address we have basically been in a no contact zone for the last 7 months. I reached out to him letting him know I have the paperwork and I need his address so I can serve him or to give me his lawyers info so I can have the papers sent to him. He has refused to give me any information. I know where his mother lives can I have her served ? I read online that there is a process where you can do this but I’m just wondering if anybody else is familiar with this.
|
e27neco
|
e2840mf
| 1,531,339,208 | 1,531,353,132 | 2 | 9 |
In practical terms, you can try some of the online search companies to see what they can find. Ussearch.com may have his location. Dexknows or something like that may also be able to find him. If you can't find him, in most places you file a Motion for Substitute Service. You would be asking the Court to allow you to serve your STBEX by publishing in a local paper for 3-4 weeks. STBEX would have, in my jurisidiction, 30 days from the last publishing to respond in Court or you could get a Default Judgment against him. You file an affidavit from the newspaper about them "publishing for 3 consecutive weeks the attached notice." The first step in publishing is probably an affidavit from you about what you tried. 1. Looked on facebook. 2. called him. 3. Called his mom 4. Sent documents via certified mail to mom's address 5. Tried online searches. Try looking in the paper under "legal notices" and you might find someone else publishing to serve. Go to the Courthouse and copy their documents. Modify documents to your case and file. Call judge's secretary and be nice if you have questions, have your info handy when you call and be nice. The judge has likely done this before. You likely do not have to have a hearing to get an Order that says you may serve him by publishing. If he does respond, you should at least get your costs of publishing paid by him, because you can prove to the judge you called him and he was a dick. Good luck. I am not a lawyer.
|
Just a thought, check your credit report. If you're married to him a joint credit account would be owed by both of you. As long as you remain married he could easily be wracking up debt, stashing goodies then waiting to sign when he's amassed a storage locker full of stuff. Voila, he's got a lot of goodies hidden away that you get the privledge of paying half of.
| 0 | 13,924 | 4.5 |
8y0lmr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My husband refuses to give me his address so I can serve him with divorce papers My ex and I qualify for a non adversarial divorce in the state of Connecticut. Although I have his phone number I do not have his address we have basically been in a no contact zone for the last 7 months. I reached out to him letting him know I have the paperwork and I need his address so I can serve him or to give me his lawyers info so I can have the papers sent to him. He has refused to give me any information. I know where his mother lives can I have her served ? I read online that there is a process where you can do this but I’m just wondering if anybody else is familiar with this.
|
e27pb7z
|
e2840mf
| 1,531,340,658 | 1,531,353,132 | 2 | 9 |
Do a public records search. If he has opened any utilities or renewed a drivers license or a lot of other things there could be an address there. You will be able to see when it was reported too. Most lawyers have access to a public records data base view West Law or other services.
|
Just a thought, check your credit report. If you're married to him a joint credit account would be owed by both of you. As long as you remain married he could easily be wracking up debt, stashing goodies then waiting to sign when he's amassed a storage locker full of stuff. Voila, he's got a lot of goodies hidden away that you get the privledge of paying half of.
| 0 | 12,474 | 4.5 |
8y0lmr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My husband refuses to give me his address so I can serve him with divorce papers My ex and I qualify for a non adversarial divorce in the state of Connecticut. Although I have his phone number I do not have his address we have basically been in a no contact zone for the last 7 months. I reached out to him letting him know I have the paperwork and I need his address so I can serve him or to give me his lawyers info so I can have the papers sent to him. He has refused to give me any information. I know where his mother lives can I have her served ? I read online that there is a process where you can do this but I’m just wondering if anybody else is familiar with this.
|
e27judq
|
e27sx54
| 1,531,336,464 | 1,531,343,260 | 4 | 5 |
Ianal but my state allowed alternate means of service when my ex wife did this. I submitted a request for alternate service means and was able to serve her through email instead. You might want to look in to if your state will allow this.
|
Hi OP. I am not a lawyer but I was the pro se party of a similar divorce in NJ - no assets, no kids. I served my ex but he hired an attorney, which scared me at first, but the atty really just straightened everything out and got our settlement details clearly communicated. That said: I wouldn't be worried about involving an attorney and the idea that it will become adversarial or more difficult to divorce. An attorney, though it costs money, will likely help streamline the process and show that efforts were made to serve your husband and hopefully proceed quickly to FJ of Divorce. Best of luck.
| 0 | 6,796 | 1.25 |
8y0lmr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My husband refuses to give me his address so I can serve him with divorce papers My ex and I qualify for a non adversarial divorce in the state of Connecticut. Although I have his phone number I do not have his address we have basically been in a no contact zone for the last 7 months. I reached out to him letting him know I have the paperwork and I need his address so I can serve him or to give me his lawyers info so I can have the papers sent to him. He has refused to give me any information. I know where his mother lives can I have her served ? I read online that there is a process where you can do this but I’m just wondering if anybody else is familiar with this.
|
e27sx54
|
e27neco
| 1,531,343,260 | 1,531,339,208 | 5 | 2 |
Hi OP. I am not a lawyer but I was the pro se party of a similar divorce in NJ - no assets, no kids. I served my ex but he hired an attorney, which scared me at first, but the atty really just straightened everything out and got our settlement details clearly communicated. That said: I wouldn't be worried about involving an attorney and the idea that it will become adversarial or more difficult to divorce. An attorney, though it costs money, will likely help streamline the process and show that efforts were made to serve your husband and hopefully proceed quickly to FJ of Divorce. Best of luck.
|
In practical terms, you can try some of the online search companies to see what they can find. Ussearch.com may have his location. Dexknows or something like that may also be able to find him. If you can't find him, in most places you file a Motion for Substitute Service. You would be asking the Court to allow you to serve your STBEX by publishing in a local paper for 3-4 weeks. STBEX would have, in my jurisidiction, 30 days from the last publishing to respond in Court or you could get a Default Judgment against him. You file an affidavit from the newspaper about them "publishing for 3 consecutive weeks the attached notice." The first step in publishing is probably an affidavit from you about what you tried. 1. Looked on facebook. 2. called him. 3. Called his mom 4. Sent documents via certified mail to mom's address 5. Tried online searches. Try looking in the paper under "legal notices" and you might find someone else publishing to serve. Go to the Courthouse and copy their documents. Modify documents to your case and file. Call judge's secretary and be nice if you have questions, have your info handy when you call and be nice. The judge has likely done this before. You likely do not have to have a hearing to get an Order that says you may serve him by publishing. If he does respond, you should at least get your costs of publishing paid by him, because you can prove to the judge you called him and he was a dick. Good luck. I am not a lawyer.
| 1 | 4,052 | 2.5 |
8y0lmr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My husband refuses to give me his address so I can serve him with divorce papers My ex and I qualify for a non adversarial divorce in the state of Connecticut. Although I have his phone number I do not have his address we have basically been in a no contact zone for the last 7 months. I reached out to him letting him know I have the paperwork and I need his address so I can serve him or to give me his lawyers info so I can have the papers sent to him. He has refused to give me any information. I know where his mother lives can I have her served ? I read online that there is a process where you can do this but I’m just wondering if anybody else is familiar with this.
|
e27pb7z
|
e27sx54
| 1,531,340,658 | 1,531,343,260 | 2 | 5 |
Do a public records search. If he has opened any utilities or renewed a drivers license or a lot of other things there could be an address there. You will be able to see when it was reported too. Most lawyers have access to a public records data base view West Law or other services.
|
Hi OP. I am not a lawyer but I was the pro se party of a similar divorce in NJ - no assets, no kids. I served my ex but he hired an attorney, which scared me at first, but the atty really just straightened everything out and got our settlement details clearly communicated. That said: I wouldn't be worried about involving an attorney and the idea that it will become adversarial or more difficult to divorce. An attorney, though it costs money, will likely help streamline the process and show that efforts were made to serve your husband and hopefully proceed quickly to FJ of Divorce. Best of luck.
| 0 | 2,602 | 2.5 |
8759nv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My husband literally ran away to El Salvador to avoid being served with divorce papers. (PA) So I already texted my lawyer about this and I'll be meeting with him in the morning, I'd just like some answers now. I've been trying to divorce my husband after being married for 5 years, separated for 1. We have no kids. He's Salvadoran, was born there, and became a permanent resident of this country due to us getting married. I'd been trying to serve him for two weeks but he kept evading me and then apparently went missing a week ago. I'd called the police, reported him missing, etc., and apparently one of his cousins took pity on me and messaged me to tell me he'd went back to El Salvador and was living with his grandmother. The police told me today that his mother confirmed this and showed them texts on her phone from him telling her he'd landed safely in San Salvador (I had no way of talking to her, she won't speak English). How am I supposed to serve him now? His grandmother lives in a relatively remote village in the mountains, not in one of the cities. I just want this to be over.
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dwabcqu
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dwabbvn
| 1,522,026,916 | 1,522,026,888 | 88 | 38 |
There are still ways to serve someone internationally, although it will take more time and be more trouble. You will still get your divorce, it's just going to require more patience.
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lawyer up. I believe you'll be able to publish a newspaper announcement as a replacement fr the summons, but I'm from Illinois and I am not a lawyer.
| 1 | 28 | 2.315789 |
z4u6zp
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Served divorce papers out of the blue, have active ebay auctions So I was served divorce papers out of the blue, we have been living apart for a few months and where supposed to start seeing a counselor so wasn't expecting this at all. Not here for advice on divorce. What I do need to know is some legal questions because it spells out that I can't transfer or sell property without first seeking court permission. How does this apply to active listings on ebay, or the listing that sold about 30 minutes after I was served. Do I have to risk my ebay getting shutdown for failure to ship on that item and refund the buyer, do I have to take down the listings i had and take the hit to my wallet because some of them have bids and I'll have to pay the final value fee. Any help is greatly appreciated. Forgot to say, I'm in Texas
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ixttwtu
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ixu8p7u
| 1,669,450,277 | 1,669,463,310 | 20 | 24 |
I ended up in a similar situation and it was painful but it worked out eventually. I couldn’t afford an attorney either but I found a way and am glad I did. Legal mistakes are costly to repair. Since you are gaining knowledge on the law and doing your research, you will do fine as long as you take your time and advocate for yourself. If you can, interview some attorneys (see avvo) and find out what they think. Many give free consults. Also ask if they can consult with you without going to court. That’s less expensive.
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This isn’t legal advice for your particular situation but I will tell you that most jurisdictions do not expect you to stop your ordinary life. The purpose of the injunction is to prevent the dissipation of marital assets. Those are things acquired during the marriage. Examples are, real property, cars etc. you also can’t squander marital money if you had a joint account. The temporary injunction does not order you to stop your day to day life including how you were making money prior to the divorce beginning. Because you can’t afford a lawyer I would recommend you contact the state Bar and ask for a clinic of pro Bono attorney to help you out Good luck with everything.
| 0 | 13,033 | 1.2 |
9xwx3v
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My husband won't meet with me to go over the divorce papers and won't give me any of the required documentation. We were married for 8 years and have two kids. A week before I graduated from college I found out he was cheating on me and had a relationship with a coworker for five months. I didn't kick him out and told him that he needed to find a new place to live. Fast-forward a year later he is now living with the girl and seeing the kids in a consistent schedule. Neither of us have money to hire lawyers therefore I filled out all of the divorce papers, wrote an agreement which pretty much included all the things he wanted. I even agreed to have child support lowered to 150 a week (the state of MA provides a calculating spreadsheet and based on both our incomes he would have to pay 240 a week). He refused to sign the papers for a non contested divorce even though the agreement had everything he wanted. I can't do anything with my life, I can't save money or buy a house because he might want half of it. For that reason I filed for a contested divorce and had the papers served to him. Now we have to file papers a few weeks before the court date and he refuses to meet with me or to give me any of the documentation that I need to fill out the rest of the paperwork. I need to know what will happen if I show up there without having filed the paperwork needed because he refuses to meet with me. And if there is anything I can do in order to get this divorce over with. We separated in May 2017. Thank you in advance :)
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e9w32b5
|
e9w5qsp
| 1,542,470,934 | 1,542,473,050 | 26 | 159 |
Do some Googling... I am guessing that MA had a procedure for a spouse who refuses to sign. I'm in PA and we do here. If my ex had refused to sign, but didn't file to contest the divorce, after a two-year waiting period the divorce would have been granted to me even without his signature. Luckily for me he got a girlfriend and found some more to sign, so our divorce was over in 3 months.
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Don’t bend over on the child support. If he’s unwilling to meet over this then maybe other stuff is going on. For the sake of your kids you need to look out for you and their best interests. If you feel greasy taking $240 over $150 then put the extra $90/week into savings for the kids education. An extra $4,680/year into an RESP for them. He can always file to have child support payments reduced but he can do the paperwork.
| 0 | 2,116 | 6.115385 |
9xwx3v
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My husband won't meet with me to go over the divorce papers and won't give me any of the required documentation. We were married for 8 years and have two kids. A week before I graduated from college I found out he was cheating on me and had a relationship with a coworker for five months. I didn't kick him out and told him that he needed to find a new place to live. Fast-forward a year later he is now living with the girl and seeing the kids in a consistent schedule. Neither of us have money to hire lawyers therefore I filled out all of the divorce papers, wrote an agreement which pretty much included all the things he wanted. I even agreed to have child support lowered to 150 a week (the state of MA provides a calculating spreadsheet and based on both our incomes he would have to pay 240 a week). He refused to sign the papers for a non contested divorce even though the agreement had everything he wanted. I can't do anything with my life, I can't save money or buy a house because he might want half of it. For that reason I filed for a contested divorce and had the papers served to him. Now we have to file papers a few weeks before the court date and he refuses to meet with me or to give me any of the documentation that I need to fill out the rest of the paperwork. I need to know what will happen if I show up there without having filed the paperwork needed because he refuses to meet with me. And if there is anything I can do in order to get this divorce over with. We separated in May 2017. Thank you in advance :)
|
e9wpvqh
|
e9xeo4o
| 1,542,486,500 | 1,542,503,321 | 3 | 4 |
Fill out what you have the info for if you need a lawyer but don't have the funds legal aid can help as long as their not already helping him. You can as long as you followed all the rules and procedures get a judges decision without him it happens all the time when one party doesnt want to help. Don't bend on the child support. You may think your being nice and that will help but he isn't going to fall for it and will continue to be a jerk. Instead let the calculator decide the calculator is set up like that for a reason. The nicer you are the more room you give for him to come back and bite you.
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In most states he would not be entitled to any of your assets after the date you two separated. That is usually when there is an understanding between you two that your marriage is permanently over, but it may vary in your state. File a contested divorce. If you can afford the filing fees, there are often fee waivers. Request the full amount of child support. It is not for you, but for the benefit of the children. If you don’t need the whole amount, save it and give it to the children for college or a home down payment. If you show up to the hearing and explain everything to the judge, they will likely set a trial on all issues given the lack of agreement.
| 0 | 16,821 | 1.333333 |
9xwx3v
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My husband won't meet with me to go over the divorce papers and won't give me any of the required documentation. We were married for 8 years and have two kids. A week before I graduated from college I found out he was cheating on me and had a relationship with a coworker for five months. I didn't kick him out and told him that he needed to find a new place to live. Fast-forward a year later he is now living with the girl and seeing the kids in a consistent schedule. Neither of us have money to hire lawyers therefore I filled out all of the divorce papers, wrote an agreement which pretty much included all the things he wanted. I even agreed to have child support lowered to 150 a week (the state of MA provides a calculating spreadsheet and based on both our incomes he would have to pay 240 a week). He refused to sign the papers for a non contested divorce even though the agreement had everything he wanted. I can't do anything with my life, I can't save money or buy a house because he might want half of it. For that reason I filed for a contested divorce and had the papers served to him. Now we have to file papers a few weeks before the court date and he refuses to meet with me or to give me any of the documentation that I need to fill out the rest of the paperwork. I need to know what will happen if I show up there without having filed the paperwork needed because he refuses to meet with me. And if there is anything I can do in order to get this divorce over with. We separated in May 2017. Thank you in advance :)
|
e9xeo4o
|
e9wnp6h
| 1,542,503,321 | 1,542,485,216 | 4 | 2 |
In most states he would not be entitled to any of your assets after the date you two separated. That is usually when there is an understanding between you two that your marriage is permanently over, but it may vary in your state. File a contested divorce. If you can afford the filing fees, there are often fee waivers. Request the full amount of child support. It is not for you, but for the benefit of the children. If you don’t need the whole amount, save it and give it to the children for college or a home down payment. If you show up to the hearing and explain everything to the judge, they will likely set a trial on all issues given the lack of agreement.
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You can file on your own (I totally suggest an attorney as kids are involved). You can pay to have him served. Let them find him at work.
| 1 | 18,105 | 2 |
9xwx3v
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My husband won't meet with me to go over the divorce papers and won't give me any of the required documentation. We were married for 8 years and have two kids. A week before I graduated from college I found out he was cheating on me and had a relationship with a coworker for five months. I didn't kick him out and told him that he needed to find a new place to live. Fast-forward a year later he is now living with the girl and seeing the kids in a consistent schedule. Neither of us have money to hire lawyers therefore I filled out all of the divorce papers, wrote an agreement which pretty much included all the things he wanted. I even agreed to have child support lowered to 150 a week (the state of MA provides a calculating spreadsheet and based on both our incomes he would have to pay 240 a week). He refused to sign the papers for a non contested divorce even though the agreement had everything he wanted. I can't do anything with my life, I can't save money or buy a house because he might want half of it. For that reason I filed for a contested divorce and had the papers served to him. Now we have to file papers a few weeks before the court date and he refuses to meet with me or to give me any of the documentation that I need to fill out the rest of the paperwork. I need to know what will happen if I show up there without having filed the paperwork needed because he refuses to meet with me. And if there is anything I can do in order to get this divorce over with. We separated in May 2017. Thank you in advance :)
|
e9wpvqh
|
e9wnp6h
| 1,542,486,500 | 1,542,485,216 | 3 | 2 |
Fill out what you have the info for if you need a lawyer but don't have the funds legal aid can help as long as their not already helping him. You can as long as you followed all the rules and procedures get a judges decision without him it happens all the time when one party doesnt want to help. Don't bend on the child support. You may think your being nice and that will help but he isn't going to fall for it and will continue to be a jerk. Instead let the calculator decide the calculator is set up like that for a reason. The nicer you are the more room you give for him to come back and bite you.
|
You can file on your own (I totally suggest an attorney as kids are involved). You can pay to have him served. Let them find him at work.
| 1 | 1,284 | 1.5 |
36lv29
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Served husband Divorce papers. He adamantly refuses to sign. He will not even look at the document. What next? He has 20 days to respond and he told me that he isn't signing anything. I told him he should speak to an attorney and this made him upset and he firmly and strongly stated that he is not signing to anything. I want him to be protected in this. I told him to speak to a lawyer and that angered him. He's in severe denial that I am doing this. I'm afraid to keep bringing it up because I don't want to fight - but I also want to encourage him to speak to a lawyer and then sign the divorce papers. Our case is straightforward: married 3 years, no kids, co-own a town house that I think we should sell and then split 50/50. I want nothing to do with his stocks, retirement account, personal savings or anything. Just sell the house, 50/50 and walk away. I think I am being reasonable and more than fair in this. If he does not sign the papers, what happens after the 20 days are up? We live in Brooklyn, NY.
|
crf2g3s
|
crf4leu
| 1,432,117,207 | 1,432,124,728 | 23 | 70 |
If you used an attorney in drafting the divorce paperwork they should be able to tell you what will happen if he does not sign. If you did not use an attorney you should speak with one right away. You can also check out this site. http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/new-york-divorce-31763.html
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If he's going to make you get a lawyer and do it the hard way, maybe it's time to take another look at those other assets.
| 0 | 7,521 | 3.043478 |
36lv29
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Served husband Divorce papers. He adamantly refuses to sign. He will not even look at the document. What next? He has 20 days to respond and he told me that he isn't signing anything. I told him he should speak to an attorney and this made him upset and he firmly and strongly stated that he is not signing to anything. I want him to be protected in this. I told him to speak to a lawyer and that angered him. He's in severe denial that I am doing this. I'm afraid to keep bringing it up because I don't want to fight - but I also want to encourage him to speak to a lawyer and then sign the divorce papers. Our case is straightforward: married 3 years, no kids, co-own a town house that I think we should sell and then split 50/50. I want nothing to do with his stocks, retirement account, personal savings or anything. Just sell the house, 50/50 and walk away. I think I am being reasonable and more than fair in this. If he does not sign the papers, what happens after the 20 days are up? We live in Brooklyn, NY.
|
crf4leu
|
crf3z21
| 1,432,124,728 | 1,432,122,875 | 70 | 3 |
If he's going to make you get a lawyer and do it the hard way, maybe it's time to take another look at those other assets.
|
Not legal advice: Can you get a common friend/relative/associate to talk to your husband?
| 1 | 1,853 | 23.333333 |
36lv29
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Served husband Divorce papers. He adamantly refuses to sign. He will not even look at the document. What next? He has 20 days to respond and he told me that he isn't signing anything. I told him he should speak to an attorney and this made him upset and he firmly and strongly stated that he is not signing to anything. I want him to be protected in this. I told him to speak to a lawyer and that angered him. He's in severe denial that I am doing this. I'm afraid to keep bringing it up because I don't want to fight - but I also want to encourage him to speak to a lawyer and then sign the divorce papers. Our case is straightforward: married 3 years, no kids, co-own a town house that I think we should sell and then split 50/50. I want nothing to do with his stocks, retirement account, personal savings or anything. Just sell the house, 50/50 and walk away. I think I am being reasonable and more than fair in this. If he does not sign the papers, what happens after the 20 days are up? We live in Brooklyn, NY.
|
crfewni
|
crf2g3s
| 1,432,143,293 | 1,432,117,207 | 30 | 23 |
If I'm not mistaken, here's how it goes in NY: After he's served the papers, he has 20 days to respond. If he doesn't, you wait an additional 40 days and then can ask for a default judgement. When you do that, you tell the court what you want (50/50 house, nothing else, etc.) and the judge grants it (unless it's really unreasonable). He can appeal that default judgement (actually, move to set it aside), but he has little time to do that, and it gets less likely as time goes by. If he does appeal it, you'll probably both need lawyers and things can get messy. If that happens, you should ask to have him pay your legal fees, because it's his fault you had to hire a lawyer. In short, ignoring court papers is always a bad idea, but if that's what he wants to do, you can't stop him.
|
If you used an attorney in drafting the divorce paperwork they should be able to tell you what will happen if he does not sign. If you did not use an attorney you should speak with one right away. You can also check out this site. http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/new-york-divorce-31763.html
| 1 | 26,086 | 1.304348 |
36lv29
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Served husband Divorce papers. He adamantly refuses to sign. He will not even look at the document. What next? He has 20 days to respond and he told me that he isn't signing anything. I told him he should speak to an attorney and this made him upset and he firmly and strongly stated that he is not signing to anything. I want him to be protected in this. I told him to speak to a lawyer and that angered him. He's in severe denial that I am doing this. I'm afraid to keep bringing it up because I don't want to fight - but I also want to encourage him to speak to a lawyer and then sign the divorce papers. Our case is straightforward: married 3 years, no kids, co-own a town house that I think we should sell and then split 50/50. I want nothing to do with his stocks, retirement account, personal savings or anything. Just sell the house, 50/50 and walk away. I think I am being reasonable and more than fair in this. If he does not sign the papers, what happens after the 20 days are up? We live in Brooklyn, NY.
|
crfewni
|
crfaom7
| 1,432,143,293 | 1,432,136,652 | 30 | 7 |
If I'm not mistaken, here's how it goes in NY: After he's served the papers, he has 20 days to respond. If he doesn't, you wait an additional 40 days and then can ask for a default judgement. When you do that, you tell the court what you want (50/50 house, nothing else, etc.) and the judge grants it (unless it's really unreasonable). He can appeal that default judgement (actually, move to set it aside), but he has little time to do that, and it gets less likely as time goes by. If he does appeal it, you'll probably both need lawyers and things can get messy. If that happens, you should ask to have him pay your legal fees, because it's his fault you had to hire a lawyer. In short, ignoring court papers is always a bad idea, but if that's what he wants to do, you can't stop him.
|
You get an attorney and basically file a motion to "sue" for divorce.
| 1 | 6,641 | 4.285714 |
36lv29
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Served husband Divorce papers. He adamantly refuses to sign. He will not even look at the document. What next? He has 20 days to respond and he told me that he isn't signing anything. I told him he should speak to an attorney and this made him upset and he firmly and strongly stated that he is not signing to anything. I want him to be protected in this. I told him to speak to a lawyer and that angered him. He's in severe denial that I am doing this. I'm afraid to keep bringing it up because I don't want to fight - but I also want to encourage him to speak to a lawyer and then sign the divorce papers. Our case is straightforward: married 3 years, no kids, co-own a town house that I think we should sell and then split 50/50. I want nothing to do with his stocks, retirement account, personal savings or anything. Just sell the house, 50/50 and walk away. I think I am being reasonable and more than fair in this. If he does not sign the papers, what happens after the 20 days are up? We live in Brooklyn, NY.
|
crf3z21
|
crfewni
| 1,432,122,875 | 1,432,143,293 | 3 | 30 |
Not legal advice: Can you get a common friend/relative/associate to talk to your husband?
|
If I'm not mistaken, here's how it goes in NY: After he's served the papers, he has 20 days to respond. If he doesn't, you wait an additional 40 days and then can ask for a default judgement. When you do that, you tell the court what you want (50/50 house, nothing else, etc.) and the judge grants it (unless it's really unreasonable). He can appeal that default judgement (actually, move to set it aside), but he has little time to do that, and it gets less likely as time goes by. If he does appeal it, you'll probably both need lawyers and things can get messy. If that happens, you should ask to have him pay your legal fees, because it's his fault you had to hire a lawyer. In short, ignoring court papers is always a bad idea, but if that's what he wants to do, you can't stop him.
| 0 | 20,418 | 10 |
36lv29
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
Served husband Divorce papers. He adamantly refuses to sign. He will not even look at the document. What next? He has 20 days to respond and he told me that he isn't signing anything. I told him he should speak to an attorney and this made him upset and he firmly and strongly stated that he is not signing to anything. I want him to be protected in this. I told him to speak to a lawyer and that angered him. He's in severe denial that I am doing this. I'm afraid to keep bringing it up because I don't want to fight - but I also want to encourage him to speak to a lawyer and then sign the divorce papers. Our case is straightforward: married 3 years, no kids, co-own a town house that I think we should sell and then split 50/50. I want nothing to do with his stocks, retirement account, personal savings or anything. Just sell the house, 50/50 and walk away. I think I am being reasonable and more than fair in this. If he does not sign the papers, what happens after the 20 days are up? We live in Brooklyn, NY.
|
crfaom7
|
crf3z21
| 1,432,136,652 | 1,432,122,875 | 7 | 3 |
You get an attorney and basically file a motion to "sue" for divorce.
|
Not legal advice: Can you get a common friend/relative/associate to talk to your husband?
| 1 | 13,777 | 2.333333 |
zuqsdg
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.68 |
My dad is verbally and mentally abusing me and I want to live with my mom but he is threatening to send me to a program “similar to juvie” I’m a 14 year old male from Utah and I have Been getting treated like shit for close to 4 months now and it’s getting worse now that I’m able to talk about these things to my mom.Allow me to explain my father was married to my mom and had been for 6-7 years then divorced when I was 2 because my mom was “abusive” to my dad and he cheated on her. He got full custody.for the next 10 years I would never meet my mom but then the court allows my mom every other weekend with me, I get know her and she is very happy and polite to me and my little brother. 2 years go by to lead to here about 3 and half months ago my dad started talking shit about me saying he’s going to kick me out and go make me live with my mom, me being nieve said “no” because I still loved him as a dad. It started to pick up when my grandmother started pitching in telling me how bad my mom was when she was married to my dad, I of course defended my mom saying she had changed for the better and had put an end to her bad ways, my grandma was of course very much still convinced my dad is a saint and my mom is the devil. My dad would slap my ass in the face if I was out of line and of course he slapped me for “talking back” to my grandma. I was already contemplating talking to youth services but I’m scared I might mess up and my dad would send me to juvenile detention because he caught on that I would leave next time he said go live with your mom I’m writing this at 9:38 pm After another altercation went down. With stuff saying he didn’t love me and he would give my phone back to my mom and he would not tell my mom a thing if I just disappeared one day my mom doesn’t have visition rights anymore but “he” allows her to see me and my brother so he can control this entire thing. Also side note I suspect him of using child support money to buy him self snacks and DoorDash I haven’t gotten new clothes from him for years my mom does most of the buying and isn’t financially compensated for it
|
j1kwswq
|
j1lg5no
| 1,671,944,430 | 1,671,960,393 | 7 | 17 |
Child support money isn't meant to go straight to the child's pocket. You've got a roof over your head, water, electricity, food and transportation right? Then it really doesn't matter how the child support money is split up here, it's meant to help pay for the costs associated with raising you and those costs include food and shelter and transportation. If there's a court ordered custody agreement then your mother can try modifying it in court.
|
It sounds like your father is an abusive man who manipulated the court system into giving him custody, and has controlled your understanding of the situation since. Maybe your mom made some mistakes 10 years ago, maybe not. Now that mom has regained visitation, you're seeing who she is. You don't believe his lies anymore, and he's losing control. This is making him angry. The threats that you could disappear are concerning. If you believe that you are being abused, call the utah child abuse hotline at 1-855-323-3237. I don't know Utah child abuse laws, but you can look up the definitions here. https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title76/Chapter5/76-5-S109.html#:~:text=An%20actor%20commits%20child%20abuse,physical%20injury%20upon%20a%20child. If you have a way to keep a private journal, write down what happened and when. Take pictures of any marks or bruises. Any reports should come from you or a teacher or doctor, not your mom. Because of the court case, it might be thought she made it up to get custody. You have to sort out what matters and what doesn't. Nobody will care about the support money as long as you're fed and clothed.
| 0 | 15,963 | 2.428571 |
4xsye2
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
[NSW Australia] Emancipated adult wanting to stop contact from abusive family Hi Everyone Background: More than twelve years ago, I was legally emancipated at the age of 12 due to abuse in my family. My two brothers and I were taken away from my sole-carer father by the Department of Community Services when I was 9 due to alcoholism, extreme physical and mental abuse and neglect. We were then given to our mother who retained full custody of us (and me until I turned 12). During this time my older brother raped and sexually assaulted me regularly for three years and my mother knew and saw it was happening and allowed it (and sometimes encouraged it) to happen. My younger brother also used to abuse me at the encouragement of my mother and older brother. I was also constantly not given access to food in the attempt to starve me, and was physically abused also, causing a broken arm. I tried to commit suicide at 12 and this is where the story with them finishes. I legally was emancipated, the police assisted me in getting an AVO out for all three of them (and at the time we had an AVO against our father). All three AVO's are now long expired. Since that age, I have moved around a lot because for some reason, my mother or my older brother kept being able to locate me and show up at the house and try to contact me for fun and to guilt me. I have also changed my private mobile number many times also. I have moved more than 25 times since I was 12 in very different locations - usually more than 45 minutes to two hours away from the previous location. They used to also show up at my work and laugh at me when I was in high school, causing me to get a manager and ask them to leave because of the AVO. I legally changed (all of) my names and appearance to hide and get away from them and am a silent elector (name not on electoral role) and have hidden my life, job and have no online presence under my name - I only have one Facebook which does not have my name or my picture and is set to all high privacy settings, and has a limited amount of close friends. I also regularly change the link in the address bar in case they have that. Every few years somehow either my mother or one of my brothers gets my (private) phone number, email or Facebook (which I have now deleted). I cannot create a Linkedin account for my job due to this fear of them finding it. I have continuously for the past few years searched for their names on social media and online to ensure they haven't created more new accounts to contact me and have blocked ones I find on a regular basis. At one point my mother found out a new bank account when I was 19 and transferred $5,000 to it with "love mum" description on it, which I got the bank to return. I have no contacts or people I know from that age or that would know them, yet I still get contact from them, even just sometimes "I know you are there" or "Not good at hiding are you?" and sometimes "your mother loves you". I also now live in another state to them in NSW (as I moved to avoid them). Is there a way I can stop them from contacting me at all, even just a cease and desist? It causes me undue stress and anxiety as I have done all I can do in my power to disappear, as well as continuous therapy. They are not being threatening but the words usually are there to taunt me. I spoke to the police and gave all the paperwork and evidence I have (including personal references who can confirm the amount of energy I have put into going into hiding) and they say there isn't anything they can do as they aren't being threatening.
|
d6ia5bp
|
d6i5yad
| 1,471,269,206 | 1,471,259,670 | 70 | 65 |
Someone is feeding them info. One of your very close friends. Tell them a story. Tell them a terrible or awesome tale, it really doesn't matter which. Change one detail of the story for each person. For example, happily tell all of your friends that you are getting married. Tell one that your partner's name is Christina/Chris. To another, their name is Mary/Mark. To another, James/Lucy. Whatever. Keep EXACT track as to who you told what name. Write it down right after you have that conversation. Then just wait...and see how long it takes for dear mom to contact you and say "When are we going to get the wedding invite?" To which you can say "What? I'm getting married?" Say nothing else than that. Extract info. Either you'll get the informant's name, or you'll get the false name who will out the informant anyway.
|
Have you only changed your name once? If yes this is likely how they are finding you, your name and some general information would be enough for a PI. I'm not sure about Aus but in some countries you can petition the court to change your name and seal the records. You'd also want a new social security number(or aus equivalent). If I was you I'd contact support groups for domestic violence, these groups normally have experience in helping victims disappear and hide when the legal system fails them. If all else fails maybe consider emigration, disappearing to another country might be enough and let you start fresh.
| 1 | 9,536 | 1.076923 |
4xsye2
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
[NSW Australia] Emancipated adult wanting to stop contact from abusive family Hi Everyone Background: More than twelve years ago, I was legally emancipated at the age of 12 due to abuse in my family. My two brothers and I were taken away from my sole-carer father by the Department of Community Services when I was 9 due to alcoholism, extreme physical and mental abuse and neglect. We were then given to our mother who retained full custody of us (and me until I turned 12). During this time my older brother raped and sexually assaulted me regularly for three years and my mother knew and saw it was happening and allowed it (and sometimes encouraged it) to happen. My younger brother also used to abuse me at the encouragement of my mother and older brother. I was also constantly not given access to food in the attempt to starve me, and was physically abused also, causing a broken arm. I tried to commit suicide at 12 and this is where the story with them finishes. I legally was emancipated, the police assisted me in getting an AVO out for all three of them (and at the time we had an AVO against our father). All three AVO's are now long expired. Since that age, I have moved around a lot because for some reason, my mother or my older brother kept being able to locate me and show up at the house and try to contact me for fun and to guilt me. I have also changed my private mobile number many times also. I have moved more than 25 times since I was 12 in very different locations - usually more than 45 minutes to two hours away from the previous location. They used to also show up at my work and laugh at me when I was in high school, causing me to get a manager and ask them to leave because of the AVO. I legally changed (all of) my names and appearance to hide and get away from them and am a silent elector (name not on electoral role) and have hidden my life, job and have no online presence under my name - I only have one Facebook which does not have my name or my picture and is set to all high privacy settings, and has a limited amount of close friends. I also regularly change the link in the address bar in case they have that. Every few years somehow either my mother or one of my brothers gets my (private) phone number, email or Facebook (which I have now deleted). I cannot create a Linkedin account for my job due to this fear of them finding it. I have continuously for the past few years searched for their names on social media and online to ensure they haven't created more new accounts to contact me and have blocked ones I find on a regular basis. At one point my mother found out a new bank account when I was 19 and transferred $5,000 to it with "love mum" description on it, which I got the bank to return. I have no contacts or people I know from that age or that would know them, yet I still get contact from them, even just sometimes "I know you are there" or "Not good at hiding are you?" and sometimes "your mother loves you". I also now live in another state to them in NSW (as I moved to avoid them). Is there a way I can stop them from contacting me at all, even just a cease and desist? It causes me undue stress and anxiety as I have done all I can do in my power to disappear, as well as continuous therapy. They are not being threatening but the words usually are there to taunt me. I spoke to the police and gave all the paperwork and evidence I have (including personal references who can confirm the amount of energy I have put into going into hiding) and they say there isn't anything they can do as they aren't being threatening.
|
d6i7r88
|
d6ia5bp
| 1,471,264,503 | 1,471,269,206 | 5 | 70 |
Do you still have an AVO? I'm ignorant regarding there kinds of matters but I'm getting the impression that their actions may constitute harassment and/or stalking.
|
Someone is feeding them info. One of your very close friends. Tell them a story. Tell them a terrible or awesome tale, it really doesn't matter which. Change one detail of the story for each person. For example, happily tell all of your friends that you are getting married. Tell one that your partner's name is Christina/Chris. To another, their name is Mary/Mark. To another, James/Lucy. Whatever. Keep EXACT track as to who you told what name. Write it down right after you have that conversation. Then just wait...and see how long it takes for dear mom to contact you and say "When are we going to get the wedding invite?" To which you can say "What? I'm getting married?" Say nothing else than that. Extract info. Either you'll get the informant's name, or you'll get the false name who will out the informant anyway.
| 0 | 4,703 | 14 |
4xsye2
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
[NSW Australia] Emancipated adult wanting to stop contact from abusive family Hi Everyone Background: More than twelve years ago, I was legally emancipated at the age of 12 due to abuse in my family. My two brothers and I were taken away from my sole-carer father by the Department of Community Services when I was 9 due to alcoholism, extreme physical and mental abuse and neglect. We were then given to our mother who retained full custody of us (and me until I turned 12). During this time my older brother raped and sexually assaulted me regularly for three years and my mother knew and saw it was happening and allowed it (and sometimes encouraged it) to happen. My younger brother also used to abuse me at the encouragement of my mother and older brother. I was also constantly not given access to food in the attempt to starve me, and was physically abused also, causing a broken arm. I tried to commit suicide at 12 and this is where the story with them finishes. I legally was emancipated, the police assisted me in getting an AVO out for all three of them (and at the time we had an AVO against our father). All three AVO's are now long expired. Since that age, I have moved around a lot because for some reason, my mother or my older brother kept being able to locate me and show up at the house and try to contact me for fun and to guilt me. I have also changed my private mobile number many times also. I have moved more than 25 times since I was 12 in very different locations - usually more than 45 minutes to two hours away from the previous location. They used to also show up at my work and laugh at me when I was in high school, causing me to get a manager and ask them to leave because of the AVO. I legally changed (all of) my names and appearance to hide and get away from them and am a silent elector (name not on electoral role) and have hidden my life, job and have no online presence under my name - I only have one Facebook which does not have my name or my picture and is set to all high privacy settings, and has a limited amount of close friends. I also regularly change the link in the address bar in case they have that. Every few years somehow either my mother or one of my brothers gets my (private) phone number, email or Facebook (which I have now deleted). I cannot create a Linkedin account for my job due to this fear of them finding it. I have continuously for the past few years searched for their names on social media and online to ensure they haven't created more new accounts to contact me and have blocked ones I find on a regular basis. At one point my mother found out a new bank account when I was 19 and transferred $5,000 to it with "love mum" description on it, which I got the bank to return. I have no contacts or people I know from that age or that would know them, yet I still get contact from them, even just sometimes "I know you are there" or "Not good at hiding are you?" and sometimes "your mother loves you". I also now live in another state to them in NSW (as I moved to avoid them). Is there a way I can stop them from contacting me at all, even just a cease and desist? It causes me undue stress and anxiety as I have done all I can do in my power to disappear, as well as continuous therapy. They are not being threatening but the words usually are there to taunt me. I spoke to the police and gave all the paperwork and evidence I have (including personal references who can confirm the amount of energy I have put into going into hiding) and they say there isn't anything they can do as they aren't being threatening.
|
d6iahus
|
d6i7r88
| 1,471,269,782 | 1,471,264,503 | 8 | 5 |
If they find you or contact you again then you should file a report for stalking with your local NSW Police Domestic Violence Liaison Officer and take out another Apprehended Violence Order which either the Police or LegalAid NSW can help you file. Your family will then know your current name, address and whereabouts, which I know you want to avoid. However their actions to date may already have passed the point where Police will want to prosecute and even if that's not the case they will be in breach of the new order if they contact you again.
|
Do you still have an AVO? I'm ignorant regarding there kinds of matters but I'm getting the impression that their actions may constitute harassment and/or stalking.
| 1 | 5,279 | 1.6 |
95nkix
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I work at a pool and a child drank lighter fluid from a tiki torch. I’m in Illinois. Yesterday I was working at a pool and a mother came in and said her child drank from a canister from one of the tiki torches that contained lighter fluid. I guess somehow the canister was not secured in the tiki torch and it was laying on the ground. I called poison control, they said to keep an eye on the child for the next hour for vomiting or excessive coughing. The child was fine and did not go to the hospital. Is there anything I should do to avoid a lawsuit for negligence since the canister was laying on the ground? Any other advice is appreciated. Thanks!
|
e3u9x4d
|
e3um2hu
| 1,533,753,938 | 1,533,763,958 | 36 | 49 |
Suggest to the supervisor that the incident be reported to the company's insurance carrier ASAP.
|
Why was mom not supervising her child?
| 0 | 10,020 | 1.361111 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwemiss
|
cwemqna
| 1,445,957,635 | 1,445,957,960 | 332 | 358 |
> I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. Well, I'd make sure those texts are saved somewhere safe (ie, not just on your phone). If police call decline to speak with them without an attorney present.
|
If you find it is seriously affecting your reputation, but the girl is not going to the police about it, you can contact an attorney to discuss defamation. A sternly worded letter from a lawyer might get her to take it down (or go ahead by taking it to the police). Your best bet might be to leave it as is and count on it being forgotten fairly quickly... But I understand that's not easy to do.
| 0 | 325 | 1.078313 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwepzrl
|
cweqx2f
| 1,445,962,753 | 1,445,964,044 | 37 | 100 |
Save those texts in several places. There's no need to do anything right now, although I realize that you want to. You could certainly sue for defamation, but that makes the whole thing public. Is that what you want? If you're willing to do that, contact an attorney, tell them the story, and follow their advice.
|
Get a lawyer immediately. Get them to send a letter to take it down for defamation (assuming it's not true). SAVE THE TEXTS!! Print them out, print out ten copies, save them in a fireproof safe. For God sake, don't loose them because your phone dies or gets lost or whatnot. So you would likely know if she were pressing charges, the police would be in contact with you.
| 0 | 1,291 | 2.702703 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cweqx2f
|
cwen4k1
| 1,445,964,044 | 1,445,958,554 | 100 | 24 |
Get a lawyer immediately. Get them to send a letter to take it down for defamation (assuming it's not true). SAVE THE TEXTS!! Print them out, print out ten copies, save them in a fireproof safe. For God sake, don't loose them because your phone dies or gets lost or whatnot. So you would likely know if she were pressing charges, the police would be in contact with you.
|
Make sure you take a screen shot of the post.
| 1 | 5,490 | 4.166667 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwey5x8
|
cwepzrl
| 1,445,974,061 | 1,445,962,753 | 40 | 37 |
The smart thing is to obtain the services of a criminal attorney who has experience with cell phones. Then, have him/her get a forensic examiner to create a logical (and if possible, physical forensic) image of your phone, so the text messages can be used as evidence. A few hundred bucks could save you right now. The attorney can then show her the cell phone report and tell her to either take down the post or a civil suit for defamation will be filed.
|
Save those texts in several places. There's no need to do anything right now, although I realize that you want to. You could certainly sue for defamation, but that makes the whole thing public. Is that what you want? If you're willing to do that, contact an attorney, tell them the story, and follow their advice.
| 1 | 11,308 | 1.081081 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwen4k1
|
cwepzrl
| 1,445,958,554 | 1,445,962,753 | 24 | 37 |
Make sure you take a screen shot of the post.
|
Save those texts in several places. There's no need to do anything right now, although I realize that you want to. You could certainly sue for defamation, but that makes the whole thing public. Is that what you want? If you're willing to do that, contact an attorney, tell them the story, and follow their advice.
| 0 | 4,199 | 1.541667 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwey5x8
|
cwen4k1
| 1,445,974,061 | 1,445,958,554 | 40 | 24 |
The smart thing is to obtain the services of a criminal attorney who has experience with cell phones. Then, have him/her get a forensic examiner to create a logical (and if possible, physical forensic) image of your phone, so the text messages can be used as evidence. A few hundred bucks could save you right now. The attorney can then show her the cell phone report and tell her to either take down the post or a civil suit for defamation will be filed.
|
Make sure you take a screen shot of the post.
| 1 | 15,507 | 1.666667 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwey5x8
|
cwex0ao
| 1,445,974,061 | 1,445,972,461 | 40 | 25 |
The smart thing is to obtain the services of a criminal attorney who has experience with cell phones. Then, have him/her get a forensic examiner to create a logical (and if possible, physical forensic) image of your phone, so the text messages can be used as evidence. A few hundred bucks could save you right now. The attorney can then show her the cell phone report and tell her to either take down the post or a civil suit for defamation will be filed.
|
I am not a lawyer but just to add to what people have said here, I would be concerned about her looking for others. That to me screams she is looking for someone else to accuse you so together they can go to the cops or to a lawyer. I'd get a lawyer asap as all it would take is one crazy to join her and suddenly it's two against one. I know it's a crazy thought but I've read news stories where crazy has happened. I would not ignore this. Best of luck.
| 1 | 1,600 | 1.6 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwey5x8
|
cwevfpb
| 1,445,974,061 | 1,445,970,306 | 40 | 5 |
The smart thing is to obtain the services of a criminal attorney who has experience with cell phones. Then, have him/her get a forensic examiner to create a logical (and if possible, physical forensic) image of your phone, so the text messages can be used as evidence. A few hundred bucks could save you right now. The attorney can then show her the cell phone report and tell her to either take down the post or a civil suit for defamation will be filed.
|
Get as much evidence you can and back it up.
| 1 | 3,755 | 8 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwen4k1
|
cwex0ao
| 1,445,958,554 | 1,445,972,461 | 24 | 25 |
Make sure you take a screen shot of the post.
|
I am not a lawyer but just to add to what people have said here, I would be concerned about her looking for others. That to me screams she is looking for someone else to accuse you so together they can go to the cops or to a lawyer. I'd get a lawyer asap as all it would take is one crazy to join her and suddenly it's two against one. I know it's a crazy thought but I've read news stories where crazy has happened. I would not ignore this. Best of luck.
| 0 | 13,907 | 1.041667 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwevfpb
|
cwex0ao
| 1,445,970,306 | 1,445,972,461 | 5 | 25 |
Get as much evidence you can and back it up.
|
I am not a lawyer but just to add to what people have said here, I would be concerned about her looking for others. That to me screams she is looking for someone else to accuse you so together they can go to the cops or to a lawyer. I'd get a lawyer asap as all it would take is one crazy to join her and suddenly it's two against one. I know it's a crazy thought but I've read news stories where crazy has happened. I would not ignore this. Best of luck.
| 0 | 2,155 | 5 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwevfpb
|
cwf2b46
| 1,445,970,306 | 1,445,979,662 | 5 | 10 |
Get as much evidence you can and back it up.
|
OP, if you didn't rape her and you have email/text confirmation from her that shows consent after the fact, she needs to stop telling people you raped her. And I have no idea if you are a super-DB and she's the town sweetheart, even Doug Ford doesn't deserve a false rape allegation. If I were in your position I'd be talking to a lawyer tomorrow morning.
| 0 | 9,356 | 2 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwf55fw
|
cwevfpb
| 1,445,983,776 | 1,445,970,306 | 10 | 5 |
Can you reply to her post with screen shots of your conversations that prove consent??that way everyone who read her accusations will see she's lying. Also, who does this? I wish false rape allegations were punished more severely. Not only is it unfair to the person being accused but it also makes it more difficult for actual rape victims to feel comfortable enough to come forward.
|
Get as much evidence you can and back it up.
| 1 | 13,470 | 2 |
3qfboi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl I had sex with in July has put a post on Facebook with my name and workplace claiming I raped her. I'm in Ontario, Canada. I'm currently shaking because it's apparently been up for 4 days without my knowledge. I've removed the tag and changed my name on Facebook but people could till find me at my workplace.' My side: She consented during all parts but did express hesitation at the beginning because of a recent break-up. We texted a bit afterwards but she ended it with an "I'm sorry I just don't know if I'm ready to see anyone just yet" which kinda sucked because I liked her. I've got text messages from her proving consent after the fact but honestly I don't know what to do. The damage is done and I just want the post to be taken down or at the very least my name and workplace taken off. She asks for anyone who might have other stories about me to come to her. Do I have anything here to do?
|
cwfadcc
|
cwevfpb
| 1,445,991,928 | 1,445,970,306 | 7 | 5 |
Why not reply to the post with screenshots of her consent? It'll be visible to everyone seeing the post that she's lying.
|
Get as much evidence you can and back it up.
| 1 | 21,622 | 1.4 |
b5z25w
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
A girl is claiming I had no-consensual sex with her when in reality she drugged me and used me. She has spread the word to MANY people and now I have people I don't even know approaching me about it. Do I have legal recourse? Full version of the story, ​ 2 months ago, I was sitting at home on a Saturday and a cute girl I don't know that well messaged me and asked me to go to a burlesque show. ​ All night we were kissing and flirting and she kept squirting GHB in my mouth. ​ She drove me to her house, got naked, asked me to eat her out, asked me to have sex with her, charged up her sex toys, put on porn on her laptop, drove me to my car the next morning. ​ A week later she said that she was depressed and regretful but that I had done nothing wrong. ​ The next day she said that she had wanted me to apologize and that what happened was "NOT OKAY" ​ She then proceeded to tell a TON of people, got my name out in the music community and now random people are approaching me and telling me that they "heard I raped her" ​ Is there anything I can do? ​ She is ruining my life and I've become the victim. I want to have her arrested.
|
eji80bd
|
ejiblbf
| 1,553,705,988 | 1,553,708,189 | 2 | 3 |
Where is this located? If your state has one party consent laws then you should go talk to her and record the whole conversation, make sure you get a confession
|
2 months is a long time, but you could try to get a hair follicle test for the drug she used on you(it is very unlikely that it's still in your blood or urine). It may or may not show up, but if it does it backs up the part of the story where you were drugged. Do it ASAP though, because drugs don't last in your hair as long as we are lead to believe.
| 0 | 2,201 | 1.5 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inj9v4h
|
inj6z05
| 1,662,602,194 | 1,662,600,900 | 170 | 87 |
Could your dad be having a medical issue which would affect his state of mind?
|
This is not legal advice, please remove if in violation of sub rules. Without disclosing the contents themselves, based upon your knowledge of what they are, do you believe this to be a setup, or do the contents in any way explain this behavior? Assuming you were acting in good faith, do you understand why he asked you to remove them when he could have done so himself one day previously or why he is now upset that you did? The contents which you removed may be irrelevant, but then again they may not. The premise here seems odd and the lack of detail only makes it more difficult.
| 1 | 1,294 | 1.954023 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inj9v4h
|
inippr7
| 1,662,602,194 | 1,662,593,306 | 170 | 39 |
Could your dad be having a medical issue which would affect his state of mind?
|
It may vary on state, but if you were on the account, you would be a joint owner. Typically, a joint owner has full access to whatever the asset is. That is, a joint owner can withdrawal the asset from the account, or in this case, the safety deposit box. For example, if my partner and I are both named on a bank account, either of us could withdrawal all of the money. If you were jointly named on the account you have the same rights as him. Should you wish, you could tell him to eat shit. Edit: grammatical error.
| 1 | 8,888 | 4.358974 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inj62fk
|
inj9v4h
| 1,662,600,501 | 1,662,602,194 | 34 | 170 |
It sounds like you were a joint owner insofar as the bank is concerned, and the bank would have no liability for allowing you access. But that does not mean you were an owner of the contents of the box vis-a-vis your father.
|
Could your dad be having a medical issue which would affect his state of mind?
| 0 | 1,693 | 5 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inj6z05
|
inje90c
| 1,662,600,900 | 1,662,604,245 | 87 | 135 |
This is not legal advice, please remove if in violation of sub rules. Without disclosing the contents themselves, based upon your knowledge of what they are, do you believe this to be a setup, or do the contents in any way explain this behavior? Assuming you were acting in good faith, do you understand why he asked you to remove them when he could have done so himself one day previously or why he is now upset that you did? The contents which you removed may be irrelevant, but then again they may not. The premise here seems odd and the lack of detail only makes it more difficult.
|
Something is missing here, why not just return the contents to him? Whatever you choose to do, save the evidence of the threats.
| 0 | 3,345 | 1.551724 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inippr7
|
inje90c
| 1,662,593,306 | 1,662,604,245 | 39 | 135 |
It may vary on state, but if you were on the account, you would be a joint owner. Typically, a joint owner has full access to whatever the asset is. That is, a joint owner can withdrawal the asset from the account, or in this case, the safety deposit box. For example, if my partner and I are both named on a bank account, either of us could withdrawal all of the money. If you were jointly named on the account you have the same rights as him. Should you wish, you could tell him to eat shit. Edit: grammatical error.
|
Something is missing here, why not just return the contents to him? Whatever you choose to do, save the evidence of the threats.
| 0 | 10,939 | 3.461538 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inje90c
|
inj62fk
| 1,662,604,245 | 1,662,600,501 | 135 | 34 |
Something is missing here, why not just return the contents to him? Whatever you choose to do, save the evidence of the threats.
|
It sounds like you were a joint owner insofar as the bank is concerned, and the bank would have no liability for allowing you access. But that does not mean you were an owner of the contents of the box vis-a-vis your father.
| 1 | 3,744 | 3.970588 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inippr7
|
inj6z05
| 1,662,593,306 | 1,662,600,900 | 39 | 87 |
It may vary on state, but if you were on the account, you would be a joint owner. Typically, a joint owner has full access to whatever the asset is. That is, a joint owner can withdrawal the asset from the account, or in this case, the safety deposit box. For example, if my partner and I are both named on a bank account, either of us could withdrawal all of the money. If you were jointly named on the account you have the same rights as him. Should you wish, you could tell him to eat shit. Edit: grammatical error.
|
This is not legal advice, please remove if in violation of sub rules. Without disclosing the contents themselves, based upon your knowledge of what they are, do you believe this to be a setup, or do the contents in any way explain this behavior? Assuming you were acting in good faith, do you understand why he asked you to remove them when he could have done so himself one day previously or why he is now upset that you did? The contents which you removed may be irrelevant, but then again they may not. The premise here seems odd and the lack of detail only makes it more difficult.
| 0 | 7,594 | 2.230769 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inj62fk
|
inj6z05
| 1,662,600,501 | 1,662,600,900 | 34 | 87 |
It sounds like you were a joint owner insofar as the bank is concerned, and the bank would have no liability for allowing you access. But that does not mean you were an owner of the contents of the box vis-a-vis your father.
|
This is not legal advice, please remove if in violation of sub rules. Without disclosing the contents themselves, based upon your knowledge of what they are, do you believe this to be a setup, or do the contents in any way explain this behavior? Assuming you were acting in good faith, do you understand why he asked you to remove them when he could have done so himself one day previously or why he is now upset that you did? The contents which you removed may be irrelevant, but then again they may not. The premise here seems odd and the lack of detail only makes it more difficult.
| 0 | 399 | 2.558824 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inlo16k
|
inkn449
| 1,662,651,778 | 1,662,634,642 | 8 | 5 |
Without knowing the contents of the box, it is difficult to determine whether he would have a case. For instance, if your father had tangible wealth, like gold or silver, stored in the box, it may be a bit difficult to prove ownership. Bearer bonds are equally problematic, when it comes to proving ownership. Deeds and other items, such as heirloom jewelry or other art forms, etc. likely have a provenance that would make ownership more certain. However, it is ill advised to withhold his property, by falsely claiming ownership. It sounds as though you misunderstood his instructions, he is setting you up, or he is possibly suffering from a medical condition that needs to be assessed. If the latter is the case, then it is imperative that you move quickly to ensure that his affairs are put in order, because he is vulnerable to exploitation by unknown parties. Once a parent begins to mentally deteriorate, their competency to bestow a power of attorney, to write a will, etc. must be supported by a medical professional. You will want to ensure that you act with urgency, so that he will be eligible for a mental competency clearance.
|
He may or may not have footage of you, but the bank has record of you being an owner. They couldn’t give you the contents if you weren’t an owner. If the sd box is still open, either put the contents back, or remind him what he said, ask him why Is he doing this, & if you harass you or your spouse, you will take legal action. Get screen shots of the messages from relatives as evidence of the threats. Then turn the tables on him & say you have “evidence” of him threatening you with bodily harm & what parent does this?
| 1 | 17,136 | 1.6 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inlo16k
|
inlaqvp
| 1,662,651,778 | 1,662,646,551 | 8 | 3 |
Without knowing the contents of the box, it is difficult to determine whether he would have a case. For instance, if your father had tangible wealth, like gold or silver, stored in the box, it may be a bit difficult to prove ownership. Bearer bonds are equally problematic, when it comes to proving ownership. Deeds and other items, such as heirloom jewelry or other art forms, etc. likely have a provenance that would make ownership more certain. However, it is ill advised to withhold his property, by falsely claiming ownership. It sounds as though you misunderstood his instructions, he is setting you up, or he is possibly suffering from a medical condition that needs to be assessed. If the latter is the case, then it is imperative that you move quickly to ensure that his affairs are put in order, because he is vulnerable to exploitation by unknown parties. Once a parent begins to mentally deteriorate, their competency to bestow a power of attorney, to write a will, etc. must be supported by a medical professional. You will want to ensure that you act with urgency, so that he will be eligible for a mental competency clearance.
|
If your name is on the account for that safety deposit box you have the same legal rights to that box. I seriously doubt the bank gave him video evidence that you took anything from the box without a court order.
| 1 | 5,227 | 2.666667 |
x8jg1e
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
[Pennsylvania, USA] My father has a safety deposit box. He put my name on it and gave me a key. As the title says, my father has had a safety deposit box for several years and had put my name on the account, and gave me a key when he visited a couple weeks ago. He told me to remove the contents of the box when I'm able to (I live a relatively short distance from the bank, and he lives several states away). I have no record of this, as it was in person. I went to the bank and removed the contents the day after he left. Now he is threatening legal action, stating he has footage of me entering and exiting the bank, and that the box is empty. He is also messaging relatives, threatening to beat both me and my spouse. Does he have any legal footing?
|
inl370d
|
inkn449
| 1,662,643,287 | 1,662,634,642 | 8 | 5 |
Let's start here; The bank would require you sign the lease agreement for the box prior to allowing you access. Did you sign a lease agreement for the box at the bank?
|
He may or may not have footage of you, but the bank has record of you being an owner. They couldn’t give you the contents if you weren’t an owner. If the sd box is still open, either put the contents back, or remind him what he said, ask him why Is he doing this, & if you harass you or your spouse, you will take legal action. Get screen shots of the messages from relatives as evidence of the threats. Then turn the tables on him & say you have “evidence” of him threatening you with bodily harm & what parent does this?
| 1 | 8,645 | 1.6 |
4ymcuv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
If a mechanic has a crush on a customer and he puts a GPS tracker on her car and then gets caught a week later and the customer is a cop who arrested his friends before but he didn't know that, what could happen to him? The location is Florida. Asking for my friend. He had no idea she was a cop even. He just got arrested for the first time in his life and we're wondering what will happen and if he'll get bail.
|
d6otmmu
|
d6ottex
| 1,471,654,274 | 1,471,654,566 | 247 | 339 |
He'll likely be offered bail. Whether or not he can afford it remains to be seen. Your friend will be charged with some fun crimes, I'm sure. That is creepy as fuck.
|
He needs a lawyer and a therapist.
| 0 | 292 | 1.37247 |
4ymcuv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
If a mechanic has a crush on a customer and he puts a GPS tracker on her car and then gets caught a week later and the customer is a cop who arrested his friends before but he didn't know that, what could happen to him? The location is Florida. Asking for my friend. He had no idea she was a cop even. He just got arrested for the first time in his life and we're wondering what will happen and if he'll get bail.
|
d6ottex
|
d6otshx
| 1,471,654,566 | 1,471,654,525 | 339 | 17 |
He needs a lawyer and a therapist.
|
What was he actually arrested for? What is the statute?
| 1 | 41 | 19.941176 |
4ymcuv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
If a mechanic has a crush on a customer and he puts a GPS tracker on her car and then gets caught a week later and the customer is a cop who arrested his friends before but he didn't know that, what could happen to him? The location is Florida. Asking for my friend. He had no idea she was a cop even. He just got arrested for the first time in his life and we're wondering what will happen and if he'll get bail.
|
d6otmmu
|
d6ovizu
| 1,471,654,274 | 1,471,657,293 | 247 | 277 |
He'll likely be offered bail. Whether or not he can afford it remains to be seen. Your friend will be charged with some fun crimes, I'm sure. That is creepy as fuck.
|
>The location is Florida. Like clockwork
| 0 | 3,019 | 1.121457 |
4ymcuv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
If a mechanic has a crush on a customer and he puts a GPS tracker on her car and then gets caught a week later and the customer is a cop who arrested his friends before but he didn't know that, what could happen to him? The location is Florida. Asking for my friend. He had no idea she was a cop even. He just got arrested for the first time in his life and we're wondering what will happen and if he'll get bail.
|
d6otshx
|
d6ovizu
| 1,471,654,525 | 1,471,657,293 | 17 | 277 |
What was he actually arrested for? What is the statute?
|
>The location is Florida. Like clockwork
| 0 | 2,768 | 16.294118 |
4ymcuv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
If a mechanic has a crush on a customer and he puts a GPS tracker on her car and then gets caught a week later and the customer is a cop who arrested his friends before but he didn't know that, what could happen to him? The location is Florida. Asking for my friend. He had no idea she was a cop even. He just got arrested for the first time in his life and we're wondering what will happen and if he'll get bail.
|
d6oyibi
|
d6otshx
| 1,471,662,309 | 1,471,654,525 | 65 | 17 |
That is /pol/ level weaponized autism. Get your friend a lawyer and after that cut him out of your life.
|
What was he actually arrested for? What is the statute?
| 1 | 7,784 | 3.823529 |
4ymcuv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
If a mechanic has a crush on a customer and he puts a GPS tracker on her car and then gets caught a week later and the customer is a cop who arrested his friends before but he didn't know that, what could happen to him? The location is Florida. Asking for my friend. He had no idea she was a cop even. He just got arrested for the first time in his life and we're wondering what will happen and if he'll get bail.
|
d6otshx
|
d6p4eln
| 1,471,654,525 | 1,471,674,494 | 17 | 49 |
What was he actually arrested for? What is the statute?
|
Lol just so you know... https://twitter.com/tinybaby/status/766821517044752385
| 0 | 19,969 | 2.882353 |
4ymcuv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
If a mechanic has a crush on a customer and he puts a GPS tracker on her car and then gets caught a week later and the customer is a cop who arrested his friends before but he didn't know that, what could happen to him? The location is Florida. Asking for my friend. He had no idea she was a cop even. He just got arrested for the first time in his life and we're wondering what will happen and if he'll get bail.
|
d6p4eln
|
d6p1a4f
| 1,471,674,494 | 1,471,667,374 | 49 | 16 |
Lol just so you know... https://twitter.com/tinybaby/status/766821517044752385
|
souda kazuichi why are you like this
| 1 | 7,120 | 3.0625 |
4ymcuv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
If a mechanic has a crush on a customer and he puts a GPS tracker on her car and then gets caught a week later and the customer is a cop who arrested his friends before but he didn't know that, what could happen to him? The location is Florida. Asking for my friend. He had no idea she was a cop even. He just got arrested for the first time in his life and we're wondering what will happen and if he'll get bail.
|
d6otshx
|
d6p4wxh
| 1,471,654,525 | 1,471,675,884 | 17 | 40 |
What was he actually arrested for? What is the statute?
|
If this is a troll, I've never seen a troll on /r/legaladvice go up so high before.
| 0 | 21,359 | 2.352941 |
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