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520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7ggjwr
|
d7gebma
| 1,473,471,434 | 1,473,467,752 | 1,286 | 230 |
First steps: send the certified letter saying "not no but hell no" and make a copy of your lease with the "I rent the whole apartment" parts circled. I would suggest taking a few days off work around Oct1, literally barricading the door and putting on netflix or something. Just chill in your apartment the whole time. DO NOT allow your landlord to start moving someone in. If someone tries to break into your apartment (i.e. your landlord gave them a key), call the police ASAP. It'll be a lot easier to get the police involved if they have not moved in, because then it's not an eviction issue. Have copies of the information readily available to hand to the cops.
|
Does your lease specify that you are renting the entire apartment?
| 1 | 3,682 | 5.591304 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gfs2z
|
d7ggjwr
| 1,473,470,139 | 1,473,471,434 | 154 | 1,286 |
You need to be very proactive. Pay for a lawyer to send them a certified letter explaining that they can't rent out a room you are already paying for, and that no provision in the lease allows it. If this guy does move in while you're out, it's going to be difficult and a pain in the ass to get him back out again. Start looking for a new place asap.
|
First steps: send the certified letter saying "not no but hell no" and make a copy of your lease with the "I rent the whole apartment" parts circled. I would suggest taking a few days off work around Oct1, literally barricading the door and putting on netflix or something. Just chill in your apartment the whole time. DO NOT allow your landlord to start moving someone in. If someone tries to break into your apartment (i.e. your landlord gave them a key), call the police ASAP. It'll be a lot easier to get the police involved if they have not moved in, because then it's not an eviction issue. Have copies of the information readily available to hand to the cops.
| 0 | 1,295 | 8.350649 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gebkj
|
d7ggjwr
| 1,473,467,749 | 1,473,471,434 | 36 | 1,286 |
Do you rent the apartment or a room?
|
First steps: send the certified letter saying "not no but hell no" and make a copy of your lease with the "I rent the whole apartment" parts circled. I would suggest taking a few days off work around Oct1, literally barricading the door and putting on netflix or something. Just chill in your apartment the whole time. DO NOT allow your landlord to start moving someone in. If someone tries to break into your apartment (i.e. your landlord gave them a key), call the police ASAP. It'll be a lot easier to get the police involved if they have not moved in, because then it's not an eviction issue. Have copies of the information readily available to hand to the cops.
| 0 | 3,685 | 35.722222 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gezlp
|
d7ggjwr
| 1,473,468,824 | 1,473,471,434 | 26 | 1,286 |
Inform the landlord that that isn't happening and show him your lease.
|
First steps: send the certified letter saying "not no but hell no" and make a copy of your lease with the "I rent the whole apartment" parts circled. I would suggest taking a few days off work around Oct1, literally barricading the door and putting on netflix or something. Just chill in your apartment the whole time. DO NOT allow your landlord to start moving someone in. If someone tries to break into your apartment (i.e. your landlord gave them a key), call the police ASAP. It'll be a lot easier to get the police involved if they have not moved in, because then it's not an eviction issue. Have copies of the information readily available to hand to the cops.
| 0 | 2,610 | 49.461538 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7ggjwr
|
d7ggiml
| 1,473,471,434 | 1,473,471,375 | 1,286 | 17 |
First steps: send the certified letter saying "not no but hell no" and make a copy of your lease with the "I rent the whole apartment" parts circled. I would suggest taking a few days off work around Oct1, literally barricading the door and putting on netflix or something. Just chill in your apartment the whole time. DO NOT allow your landlord to start moving someone in. If someone tries to break into your apartment (i.e. your landlord gave them a key), call the police ASAP. It'll be a lot easier to get the police involved if they have not moved in, because then it's not an eviction issue. Have copies of the information readily available to hand to the cops.
|
When does your lease end?
| 1 | 59 | 75.647059 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gfymx
|
d7gebma
| 1,473,470,440 | 1,473,467,752 | 666 | 230 |
One suggestion: if you're trying to phone the manager and they are not returning your calls, try calling from another number. Sometime magically their phone works.
|
Does your lease specify that you are renting the entire apartment?
| 1 | 2,688 | 2.895652 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gfs2z
|
d7gfymx
| 1,473,470,139 | 1,473,470,440 | 154 | 666 |
You need to be very proactive. Pay for a lawyer to send them a certified letter explaining that they can't rent out a room you are already paying for, and that no provision in the lease allows it. If this guy does move in while you're out, it's going to be difficult and a pain in the ass to get him back out again. Start looking for a new place asap.
|
One suggestion: if you're trying to phone the manager and they are not returning your calls, try calling from another number. Sometime magically their phone works.
| 0 | 301 | 4.324675 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gebkj
|
d7gfymx
| 1,473,467,749 | 1,473,470,440 | 36 | 666 |
Do you rent the apartment or a room?
|
One suggestion: if you're trying to phone the manager and they are not returning your calls, try calling from another number. Sometime magically their phone works.
| 0 | 2,691 | 18.5 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gfymx
|
d7gezlp
| 1,473,470,440 | 1,473,468,824 | 666 | 26 |
One suggestion: if you're trying to phone the manager and they are not returning your calls, try calling from another number. Sometime magically their phone works.
|
Inform the landlord that that isn't happening and show him your lease.
| 1 | 1,616 | 25.615385 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7ggh3z
|
d7gw9sp
| 1,473,471,304 | 1,473,513,412 | 346 | 381 |
For no other reason other than curiosity, I would go online and look for the apartment on a few apartment websites (Craigslist, Zillow, etc.) using both maps search and address search to see if he is actually so deranged as to have listed your extra room (if, in fact, your lease indicates that you are leasing the entire apartment). Of course, if you do find any evidence of listings in any of these places, saving all the pages (print to PDF is your friend here) might be a good move before they get disappeared from the cyber ether. I'm literally just wondering if he has been showing your apartment and not giving you notice that he's been there while you're at work.
|
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
| 0 | 42,108 | 1.101156 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gebma
|
d7gw9sp
| 1,473,467,752 | 1,473,513,412 | 230 | 381 |
Does your lease specify that you are renting the entire apartment?
|
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
| 0 | 45,660 | 1.656522 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gw9sp
|
d7gfs2z
| 1,473,513,412 | 1,473,470,139 | 381 | 154 |
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
|
You need to be very proactive. Pay for a lawyer to send them a certified letter explaining that they can't rent out a room you are already paying for, and that no provision in the lease allows it. If this guy does move in while you're out, it's going to be difficult and a pain in the ass to get him back out again. Start looking for a new place asap.
| 1 | 43,273 | 2.474026 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gw9sp
|
d7gebkj
| 1,473,513,412 | 1,473,467,749 | 381 | 36 |
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
|
Do you rent the apartment or a room?
| 1 | 45,663 | 10.583333 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gm6y9
|
d7gw9sp
| 1,473,482,106 | 1,473,513,412 | 35 | 381 |
http://dnd.cityofboston.gov/#page/df23d0a8-009e-4a10-b9e6-09071cd75144 Call these guys first thing Monday morning. Have your lease and any documentation (texts, email, letters, etc) about this guy handy. Have them scanned, if possible, so that you can email them if needed.
|
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
| 0 | 31,306 | 10.885714 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gezlp
|
d7gw9sp
| 1,473,468,824 | 1,473,513,412 | 26 | 381 |
Inform the landlord that that isn't happening and show him your lease.
|
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
| 0 | 44,588 | 14.653846 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gw9sp
|
d7gglog
| 1,473,513,412 | 1,473,471,515 | 381 | 22 |
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
|
The answer is no. You've leased the whole apartment. It is your home. Tell the landlord so. If the guy shows up and tries to enter, or even if the landlord tries to enter for this purpose, call the police on him for trespassing. Have a copy of the lease at hand (and a copy in your car) in case it actually comes to a lease review.
| 1 | 41,897 | 17.318182 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gw9sp
|
d7gk757
| 1,473,513,412 | 1,473,477,994 | 381 | 20 |
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
|
I am not a lawyer, but I'd consider putting a lock on the bedroom doors just in case he attempts to move someone in while you're not home. When I rented in the past, my lease said I had to give the landlord a copy of the key to the front door if I ever changed the locks for any reason. There was no wording about interior door locks.
| 1 | 35,418 | 19.05 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gw9sp
|
d7ggiml
| 1,473,513,412 | 1,473,471,375 | 381 | 17 |
VA landlord here. Boston law is HERE: http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/docs/tenantsrights.pdf Do you have anything in writing? Mail, text, note? Keep it, back it up, save it, print it, whatever. Then ... I would call the Mass AG and explain the situation, and depending on what they say, apply the following advice. Send a certified letter, return receipt, signature required to your landlord. TODAY if possible. I would state something like: ::::::::::::::::::: Date xxx From: Your full name To: Landlord name & company name [if different] Re: Your proposed illegal entry and occupation of my rental unit [address] Dear Landlord, This letter is to inform you that your recent communication to me stating "[whatever he/they said about a stranger will be moving into your apartment's spare room]" is a direct violation of my written lease and MA law. I have provided a copy of my lease for your reference, in case you are unaware of my status as a tenant in your rental unit. **I do not, in any way, shape or form, agree to you modifying my lease in this manner, nor do I authorize the illegal entry and occupancy into my rental unit by you, your agents, or any other persons without the legal authority to do so.** In the event you give authorization for any unauthorized people or persons to enter my rental property, I will immediately take legal action against you and all parties involved, request police intervention, and will take all reasonable steps to protect myself and my property from said actions. As a reminder, Boston law states: -------------------------- Your landlord, or an agent for your landlord, may only enter your apartment for the following reasons: * To inspect the premises; * To make repairs; * To show the apartment to a prospective tenant, purchaser, mortgagee or its agents; * In accordance with a court order; * If the premises appear to be abandoned; or * To inspect the premises within the last 30 days of tenancy in order to determine the amount of damage to be deducted from the security deposit. The landlord should be reasonable and attempt to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the apartment. If the landlord insists on entering your apartment in an unreasonable fashion, you may file for a temporary restraining order at your local district court (M.G.L. c. 186, §§ 14 and 15B). ---------------- Please note I have already contacted various tenant resources, including the Mass Attorney General, and am prepared to follow up with the full force of law. If you do not immediately drop this issue, **and provide written acknowledgement of such**, I will take immediate steps to file a restraining order against you *personally* and your company and agents. **If I do not receive an acknowledgement from you within 3 business days, I will assume you are disregarding this notice and I will move forward with legal action to protect my rights.** Due to the disturbing nature of your request, I hereby require all further communication from you to be in writing and sent via USPS to my address. Regards, Name, address [no phone, no email] cc: Mass Attorney General cc: [self] ::::::::::::::::::: Send three copies - one to you, one to the AG, and one to the landlord. Keep yours unopened. Call the AG and let them know what's coming in the mail. Please also note: **Rights Against Retaliation** Although the landlord of a Tenant at Will or under lease can terminate the tenancy or raise the rent without reason, s/he cannot do so in response to your exercising your legal rights. If the landlord tries to raise the rent, terminate or otherwise change your tenancy within six months of when you contact the Board of Health, join a tenants’ organization, or exercise other legal rights, the landlord’s action will be considered retaliation against you, unless the landlord can prove otherwise. The landlord will have the burden to prove that your tenancy was changed for reasons other than your having exercised your rights (M.G.L. c. 186, § 18). If you need further help, here are some agencies you can call to get the ball rolling. Office of the Attorney General http://www.mass.gov/ago (617) 727-8400 Public Inquiry and Assistance Center (617) 963-2917 Civil Rights Division (617) 963-2939 Disability Rights One Ashburton Place Boston, MA 02108 Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development http://www.mass.gov/dhcd (617) 573-1100 100 Cambridge St., Suite 300 Boston, MA 02114 Massachusetts Housing Court http://www.mass.gov/courts/court-info/trial-court/hc/ (617) 788-6500 Edward W. Brooke Courthouse 24 New Chardon Street, 6th Floor Boston, MA 02114-4703 Massachusetts Commission Don't be afraid to call those folks. As a landlord, wow, your landlord is fucked. I had to do everything in my power to not pepper that letter to them with words like "you dumbass" and "you fucking moron" and "you have to be insane, I'm going to fuck you over so hard for trying this." So, get that letter out, overnight it, call the AG and get the ball rolling. Now, once you do that, if he tries to NOT renew your lease ... guess what? It's retaliation. You should be able to renew your lease with no issues. Or you may decide you want to move, your call. Personally, I'd stay and fuck his shit up.
|
When does your lease end?
| 1 | 42,037 | 22.411765 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gebma
|
d7ggh3z
| 1,473,467,752 | 1,473,471,304 | 230 | 346 |
Does your lease specify that you are renting the entire apartment?
|
For no other reason other than curiosity, I would go online and look for the apartment on a few apartment websites (Craigslist, Zillow, etc.) using both maps search and address search to see if he is actually so deranged as to have listed your extra room (if, in fact, your lease indicates that you are leasing the entire apartment). Of course, if you do find any evidence of listings in any of these places, saving all the pages (print to PDF is your friend here) might be a good move before they get disappeared from the cyber ether. I'm literally just wondering if he has been showing your apartment and not giving you notice that he's been there while you're at work.
| 0 | 3,552 | 1.504348 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gfs2z
|
d7ggh3z
| 1,473,470,139 | 1,473,471,304 | 154 | 346 |
You need to be very proactive. Pay for a lawyer to send them a certified letter explaining that they can't rent out a room you are already paying for, and that no provision in the lease allows it. If this guy does move in while you're out, it's going to be difficult and a pain in the ass to get him back out again. Start looking for a new place asap.
|
For no other reason other than curiosity, I would go online and look for the apartment on a few apartment websites (Craigslist, Zillow, etc.) using both maps search and address search to see if he is actually so deranged as to have listed your extra room (if, in fact, your lease indicates that you are leasing the entire apartment). Of course, if you do find any evidence of listings in any of these places, saving all the pages (print to PDF is your friend here) might be a good move before they get disappeared from the cyber ether. I'm literally just wondering if he has been showing your apartment and not giving you notice that he's been there while you're at work.
| 0 | 1,165 | 2.246753 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gebkj
|
d7ggh3z
| 1,473,467,749 | 1,473,471,304 | 36 | 346 |
Do you rent the apartment or a room?
|
For no other reason other than curiosity, I would go online and look for the apartment on a few apartment websites (Craigslist, Zillow, etc.) using both maps search and address search to see if he is actually so deranged as to have listed your extra room (if, in fact, your lease indicates that you are leasing the entire apartment). Of course, if you do find any evidence of listings in any of these places, saving all the pages (print to PDF is your friend here) might be a good move before they get disappeared from the cyber ether. I'm literally just wondering if he has been showing your apartment and not giving you notice that he's been there while you're at work.
| 0 | 3,555 | 9.611111 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7ggh3z
|
d7gezlp
| 1,473,471,304 | 1,473,468,824 | 346 | 26 |
For no other reason other than curiosity, I would go online and look for the apartment on a few apartment websites (Craigslist, Zillow, etc.) using both maps search and address search to see if he is actually so deranged as to have listed your extra room (if, in fact, your lease indicates that you are leasing the entire apartment). Of course, if you do find any evidence of listings in any of these places, saving all the pages (print to PDF is your friend here) might be a good move before they get disappeared from the cyber ether. I'm literally just wondering if he has been showing your apartment and not giving you notice that he's been there while you're at work.
|
Inform the landlord that that isn't happening and show him your lease.
| 1 | 2,480 | 13.307692 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gebma
|
d7gebkj
| 1,473,467,752 | 1,473,467,749 | 230 | 36 |
Does your lease specify that you are renting the entire apartment?
|
Do you rent the apartment or a room?
| 1 | 3 | 6.388889 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gebkj
|
d7gfs2z
| 1,473,467,749 | 1,473,470,139 | 36 | 154 |
Do you rent the apartment or a room?
|
You need to be very proactive. Pay for a lawyer to send them a certified letter explaining that they can't rent out a room you are already paying for, and that no provision in the lease allows it. If this guy does move in while you're out, it's going to be difficult and a pain in the ass to get him back out again. Start looking for a new place asap.
| 0 | 2,390 | 4.277778 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gezlp
|
d7gfs2z
| 1,473,468,824 | 1,473,470,139 | 26 | 154 |
Inform the landlord that that isn't happening and show him your lease.
|
You need to be very proactive. Pay for a lawyer to send them a certified letter explaining that they can't rent out a room you are already paying for, and that no provision in the lease allows it. If this guy does move in while you're out, it's going to be difficult and a pain in the ass to get him back out again. Start looking for a new place asap.
| 0 | 1,315 | 5.923077 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gezlp
|
d7gm6y9
| 1,473,468,824 | 1,473,482,106 | 26 | 35 |
Inform the landlord that that isn't happening and show him your lease.
|
http://dnd.cityofboston.gov/#page/df23d0a8-009e-4a10-b9e6-09071cd75144 Call these guys first thing Monday morning. Have your lease and any documentation (texts, email, letters, etc) about this guy handy. Have them scanned, if possible, so that you can email them if needed.
| 0 | 13,282 | 1.346154 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gglog
|
d7gm6y9
| 1,473,471,515 | 1,473,482,106 | 22 | 35 |
The answer is no. You've leased the whole apartment. It is your home. Tell the landlord so. If the guy shows up and tries to enter, or even if the landlord tries to enter for this purpose, call the police on him for trespassing. Have a copy of the lease at hand (and a copy in your car) in case it actually comes to a lease review.
|
http://dnd.cityofboston.gov/#page/df23d0a8-009e-4a10-b9e6-09071cd75144 Call these guys first thing Monday morning. Have your lease and any documentation (texts, email, letters, etc) about this guy handy. Have them scanned, if possible, so that you can email them if needed.
| 0 | 10,591 | 1.590909 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gm6y9
|
d7gk757
| 1,473,482,106 | 1,473,477,994 | 35 | 20 |
http://dnd.cityofboston.gov/#page/df23d0a8-009e-4a10-b9e6-09071cd75144 Call these guys first thing Monday morning. Have your lease and any documentation (texts, email, letters, etc) about this guy handy. Have them scanned, if possible, so that you can email them if needed.
|
I am not a lawyer, but I'd consider putting a lock on the bedroom doors just in case he attempts to move someone in while you're not home. When I rented in the past, my lease said I had to give the landlord a copy of the key to the front door if I ever changed the locks for any reason. There was no wording about interior door locks.
| 1 | 4,112 | 1.75 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7gm6y9
|
d7ggiml
| 1,473,482,106 | 1,473,471,375 | 35 | 17 |
http://dnd.cityofboston.gov/#page/df23d0a8-009e-4a10-b9e6-09071cd75144 Call these guys first thing Monday morning. Have your lease and any documentation (texts, email, letters, etc) about this guy handy. Have them scanned, if possible, so that you can email them if needed.
|
When does your lease end?
| 1 | 10,731 | 2.058824 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7ggiml
|
d7gglog
| 1,473,471,375 | 1,473,471,515 | 17 | 22 |
When does your lease end?
|
The answer is no. You've leased the whole apartment. It is your home. Tell the landlord so. If the guy shows up and tries to enter, or even if the landlord tries to enter for this purpose, call the police on him for trespassing. Have a copy of the lease at hand (and a copy in your car) in case it actually comes to a lease review.
| 0 | 140 | 1.294118 |
520n5p
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I rent a 2 bedroom apart. and live alone. Landlord has informed me that on October 1 a stranger will be leasing my spare room. There is nothing in my lease about this being allowed. The property management company won’t return my calls and I found out the guy may have spent time in jail for drugs Boston, Massachusetts. Is there anything I can do to combat this or can I use this to legally break my lease? Thank you.
|
d7ggiml
|
d7gk757
| 1,473,471,375 | 1,473,477,994 | 17 | 20 |
When does your lease end?
|
I am not a lawyer, but I'd consider putting a lock on the bedroom doors just in case he attempts to move someone in while you're not home. When I rented in the past, my lease said I had to give the landlord a copy of the key to the front door if I ever changed the locks for any reason. There was no wording about interior door locks.
| 0 | 6,619 | 1.176471 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8txw3d
|
d8ty6lq
| 1,476,590,343 | 1,476,590,877 | 55 | 100 |
She may be his daughter, but she is not his property. He is controlling and abusive, but you know this. I feel sad for him actually, because once his children are old enough I imagine you will all cut contact with him immediately and permanently. Honestly, if he is going to shave her head and that is a real thing that will happen because he is that psycho then I would be preemptive and do it before he gets home so she has that control. But I fear what he would do to her if that happens. Arguments about hair make me angry, it is freaking hair! It grows back, colors fade, perms come out. Her only other argument is that she had permission. Your mom needs to step in. But in the meantime, if she is that afraid and he is hurting her you need to call 911. Good luck.
|
Not a lawyer. To me this reeks of emotional abuse (and could it be argued that cutting someone's hair without their consent is assault?); why shouldn't OP call CPS? OP, are you a minor? Do you live with any of these family members?
| 0 | 534 | 1.818182 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8ty6lq
|
d8tx146
| 1,476,590,877 | 1,476,588,900 | 100 | 48 |
Not a lawyer. To me this reeks of emotional abuse (and could it be argued that cutting someone's hair without their consent is assault?); why shouldn't OP call CPS? OP, are you a minor? Do you live with any of these family members?
|
What is the mom doing?
| 1 | 1,977 | 2.083333 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8txb0r
|
d8ty6lq
| 1,476,589,344 | 1,476,590,877 | 6 | 100 |
Your mom needs to step in.
|
Not a lawyer. To me this reeks of emotional abuse (and could it be argued that cutting someone's hair without their consent is assault?); why shouldn't OP call CPS? OP, are you a minor? Do you live with any of these family members?
| 0 | 1,533 | 16.666667 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8txw3d
|
d8tx146
| 1,476,590,343 | 1,476,588,900 | 55 | 48 |
She may be his daughter, but she is not his property. He is controlling and abusive, but you know this. I feel sad for him actually, because once his children are old enough I imagine you will all cut contact with him immediately and permanently. Honestly, if he is going to shave her head and that is a real thing that will happen because he is that psycho then I would be preemptive and do it before he gets home so she has that control. But I fear what he would do to her if that happens. Arguments about hair make me angry, it is freaking hair! It grows back, colors fade, perms come out. Her only other argument is that she had permission. Your mom needs to step in. But in the meantime, if she is that afraid and he is hurting her you need to call 911. Good luck.
|
What is the mom doing?
| 1 | 1,443 | 1.145833 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8txw3d
|
d8txb0r
| 1,476,590,343 | 1,476,589,344 | 55 | 6 |
She may be his daughter, but she is not his property. He is controlling and abusive, but you know this. I feel sad for him actually, because once his children are old enough I imagine you will all cut contact with him immediately and permanently. Honestly, if he is going to shave her head and that is a real thing that will happen because he is that psycho then I would be preemptive and do it before he gets home so she has that control. But I fear what he would do to her if that happens. Arguments about hair make me angry, it is freaking hair! It grows back, colors fade, perms come out. Her only other argument is that she had permission. Your mom needs to step in. But in the meantime, if she is that afraid and he is hurting her you need to call 911. Good luck.
|
Your mom needs to step in.
| 1 | 999 | 9.166667 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8txb0r
|
d8u8ixo
| 1,476,589,344 | 1,476,621,421 | 6 | 41 |
Your mom needs to step in.
|
Not legal advice, but my SO's mom shaved her head as punishment once and along with other emotional abuse, really messed with her head. This may or may not be the tip of the iceberg as your sister probably doesn't tell you everything that goes on with her dad. I would tell her to refuse getting the buzz cut as much as possible and talk to a school counselor. If she refuses though he may show his real colors
| 0 | 32,077 | 6.833333 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8udlg0
|
d8ujpc7
| 1,476,631,800 | 1,476,640,589 | 8 | 25 |
Tell her to tell her school ASAP. Show the insane texts and screenshots. They will contact the authorities to chew his dumbass out
|
OP, needing that level of control is indicative that your father is likely engaging in more severe forms of emotional and possibly physical abuse. Your sister can take those texts and show them to a school counselor, who will be a mandated reporter, and will report everything to CPS. However, your sister is 15. She is a child. You are an adult. Do not put the onus on your kid sister to defend herself from her abusive father. You, legally, are an adult. You need to develop the wherewithal to act. You need to call CPS and tell them what's going on. That phone call will do more to protect your sister, and your step-mother's children, than anything else. CALL CPS. 1-800-362-2178. This level of control certainly allows for the argument to be made of mental injury, but there is almost always physical abuse as well. CALL CPS.
| 0 | 8,789 | 3.125 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8ujpc7
|
d8txb0r
| 1,476,640,589 | 1,476,589,344 | 25 | 6 |
OP, needing that level of control is indicative that your father is likely engaging in more severe forms of emotional and possibly physical abuse. Your sister can take those texts and show them to a school counselor, who will be a mandated reporter, and will report everything to CPS. However, your sister is 15. She is a child. You are an adult. Do not put the onus on your kid sister to defend herself from her abusive father. You, legally, are an adult. You need to develop the wherewithal to act. You need to call CPS and tell them what's going on. That phone call will do more to protect your sister, and your step-mother's children, than anything else. CALL CPS. 1-800-362-2178. This level of control certainly allows for the argument to be made of mental injury, but there is almost always physical abuse as well. CALL CPS.
|
Your mom needs to step in.
| 1 | 51,245 | 4.166667 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8udlg0
|
d8txb0r
| 1,476,631,800 | 1,476,589,344 | 8 | 6 |
Tell her to tell her school ASAP. Show the insane texts and screenshots. They will contact the authorities to chew his dumbass out
|
Your mom needs to step in.
| 1 | 42,456 | 1.333333 |
57pp70
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.88 |
My father is threatening my sister to shave her head bald for disobeying him IOWA So my mom and dad are not together. They have joint custody of minor sister (15YO) and other kids (6-9YO). My dad is super controlling and that's why him and mom did not work out. He is remarried for about 4 years now, new wife is okay. New wife spends more time with my siblings when they are staying with my dad than my dad does because he travels for work. So back in February of 2014 my sister dyed her hair purple with mom's permission. My dad flipped out and CUT her very long hair above her shoulders as "punishment." The joke was on him because she developed a taste for short hair (which dad thinks is un-ladylike). So a few days ago my mom gives my sister permission to get a new haircut. My sister schedules the appointment for when she is staying at dad's. She tells new wife/step-mom she is going to get her hair cut. She doesn't ask her for permission and step-mom doesn't require it, either. She gets it cut chin length, a little shorter than this. When my dad finds out he flips out, he sees it as her once again saying that this punishment she received back in 2014 didn't phase her. He is on the road right now but he tells my sister that if she wants to look like a boy he'll help her look like a boy and he'll be giving her a buzz-cut when he gets home tomorrow night. She says he sent her 3 different texts of really ugly women with buzz-cuts just to antagonize her. My sister has put up with dad's shit all her life, she's not going to fight him on this and she's probably not going to give him the impression that she cares, which honestly will only make things worse for her. I think it can't be legal for him to intentionally alter his child's appearance just because he has a maniac's ego. She had permission to get her hair cut. She didn't just up and do this. I want to call CPS, but I don't think I have anything to go off of. She is *his* daughter after all. Is there anything we can do here? Will the police help? A lawyer? What??
|
d8upm8a
|
d8txb0r
| 1,476,647,858 | 1,476,589,344 | 8 | 6 |
Call CPS now on behalf of your sister. Why is your mother allowing this abuse of your sister? At 15 your sister probably has the right to refuse to see your father, CPS can also help with this decision. Your fathers behavior is certainly emotional abuse and shaving her head it probably physical abuse. Please take action now, don't wait for your father to shave your sister's head. And another thought shaving her head, may cause her to be suspended from school - many schools have rules about extreme hair styles. And a final thought don't worry about your stepmother's children, having CPS look into this family situation will probably help everyone - who knows what else your father is doing to his other children.
|
Your mom needs to step in.
| 1 | 58,514 | 1.333333 |
vwrvv8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I've adopted my sister's daughter. My parents are suing to exercise grandparent rights. My situation is complicated but I will do my best to explain. If it's confusing or you have any questions let me know please. My sister is a drug addict (opioids). Last year she had a baby. The baby was born addicted as well and went through withdrawal. The state (Arizona) stepped in and terminated her parental rights. Separately from her drug use and daughter's birth, she was arrested for crimes not related to drugs or her daughter. The two were not related. When the state stepped in and removed her rights, my sister was in jail awaiting trial. Our parents tried to get custody of my niece but they were denied. The state had too many concerns about their enabling of her addiction and her crimes. Several years ago they were both charged at separate times for being accessories to things she did. The authorities in Arizona contacted me to see if I was able and interested. I was allowed to adopt my niece by the state of Arizona and bring her home with me (to Colorado). My parents have applied in court here in my state to exercise their grandparent rights for visitation to my niece. My sister is in jail until 2042 at the earliest so she isn't involved in this. But my parents want visitation. I'm at a loss. Can I show the court here that they were deemed unfit by the authorities in Arizona after they applied for custody, and then later visitation when my niece was first born? I have all the paperwork and proof of it. Do I need a lawyer or can I do this without one? Money is tight since an unexpected baby is expensive. Thank you. I appreciate anyone who replies even if it is to tell me I'm wrong and need a lawyer.
|
ifs8doi
|
ifrmi4z
| 1,657,579,444 | 1,657,570,765 | 502 | 140 |
According to the Colorado courts self-help website: > A grandparent or great-grandparent cannot ask the court for visitation if: > 1. The parental rights of the child's parents have been terminated. > 2. The child has been placed for adoption or the adoption has been legally finalized. Even so, it sounds like you definitely want the assistance of an attorney here.
|
They probably don't have a good case, but you should at least consult with a lawyer before deciding whether you can do this without one.
| 1 | 8,679 | 3.585714 |
vwrvv8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I've adopted my sister's daughter. My parents are suing to exercise grandparent rights. My situation is complicated but I will do my best to explain. If it's confusing or you have any questions let me know please. My sister is a drug addict (opioids). Last year she had a baby. The baby was born addicted as well and went through withdrawal. The state (Arizona) stepped in and terminated her parental rights. Separately from her drug use and daughter's birth, she was arrested for crimes not related to drugs or her daughter. The two were not related. When the state stepped in and removed her rights, my sister was in jail awaiting trial. Our parents tried to get custody of my niece but they were denied. The state had too many concerns about their enabling of her addiction and her crimes. Several years ago they were both charged at separate times for being accessories to things she did. The authorities in Arizona contacted me to see if I was able and interested. I was allowed to adopt my niece by the state of Arizona and bring her home with me (to Colorado). My parents have applied in court here in my state to exercise their grandparent rights for visitation to my niece. My sister is in jail until 2042 at the earliest so she isn't involved in this. But my parents want visitation. I'm at a loss. Can I show the court here that they were deemed unfit by the authorities in Arizona after they applied for custody, and then later visitation when my niece was first born? I have all the paperwork and proof of it. Do I need a lawyer or can I do this without one? Money is tight since an unexpected baby is expensive. Thank you. I appreciate anyone who replies even if it is to tell me I'm wrong and need a lawyer.
|
ifrqxa0
|
ifs8doi
| 1,657,572,491 | 1,657,579,444 | 49 | 502 |
You really want to have a lawyer. It sounds like you should prevail, but having court-mandated visitation with people you are estranged with is a nightmare. A lawyer will be able to keep you from losing due to some simple mistake.
|
According to the Colorado courts self-help website: > A grandparent or great-grandparent cannot ask the court for visitation if: > 1. The parental rights of the child's parents have been terminated. > 2. The child has been placed for adoption or the adoption has been legally finalized. Even so, it sounds like you definitely want the assistance of an attorney here.
| 0 | 6,953 | 10.244898 |
vwrvv8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I've adopted my sister's daughter. My parents are suing to exercise grandparent rights. My situation is complicated but I will do my best to explain. If it's confusing or you have any questions let me know please. My sister is a drug addict (opioids). Last year she had a baby. The baby was born addicted as well and went through withdrawal. The state (Arizona) stepped in and terminated her parental rights. Separately from her drug use and daughter's birth, she was arrested for crimes not related to drugs or her daughter. The two were not related. When the state stepped in and removed her rights, my sister was in jail awaiting trial. Our parents tried to get custody of my niece but they were denied. The state had too many concerns about their enabling of her addiction and her crimes. Several years ago they were both charged at separate times for being accessories to things she did. The authorities in Arizona contacted me to see if I was able and interested. I was allowed to adopt my niece by the state of Arizona and bring her home with me (to Colorado). My parents have applied in court here in my state to exercise their grandparent rights for visitation to my niece. My sister is in jail until 2042 at the earliest so she isn't involved in this. But my parents want visitation. I'm at a loss. Can I show the court here that they were deemed unfit by the authorities in Arizona after they applied for custody, and then later visitation when my niece was first born? I have all the paperwork and proof of it. Do I need a lawyer or can I do this without one? Money is tight since an unexpected baby is expensive. Thank you. I appreciate anyone who replies even if it is to tell me I'm wrong and need a lawyer.
|
ifssmv5
|
ifrqxa0
| 1,657,588,399 | 1,657,572,491 | 88 | 49 |
If you adopted through the state I'd reach out to post adoption support. We adopted neices/nephew and we had a post adoption contact. We were also dealing with two different states. You have a good case, so just have someone in the 'know' point you in the right direction. Chances are you will win, but doing it right will make sure of that.
|
You really want to have a lawyer. It sounds like you should prevail, but having court-mandated visitation with people you are estranged with is a nightmare. A lawyer will be able to keep you from losing due to some simple mistake.
| 1 | 15,908 | 1.795918 |
vwrvv8
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
I've adopted my sister's daughter. My parents are suing to exercise grandparent rights. My situation is complicated but I will do my best to explain. If it's confusing or you have any questions let me know please. My sister is a drug addict (opioids). Last year she had a baby. The baby was born addicted as well and went through withdrawal. The state (Arizona) stepped in and terminated her parental rights. Separately from her drug use and daughter's birth, she was arrested for crimes not related to drugs or her daughter. The two were not related. When the state stepped in and removed her rights, my sister was in jail awaiting trial. Our parents tried to get custody of my niece but they were denied. The state had too many concerns about their enabling of her addiction and her crimes. Several years ago they were both charged at separate times for being accessories to things she did. The authorities in Arizona contacted me to see if I was able and interested. I was allowed to adopt my niece by the state of Arizona and bring her home with me (to Colorado). My parents have applied in court here in my state to exercise their grandparent rights for visitation to my niece. My sister is in jail until 2042 at the earliest so she isn't involved in this. But my parents want visitation. I'm at a loss. Can I show the court here that they were deemed unfit by the authorities in Arizona after they applied for custody, and then later visitation when my niece was first born? I have all the paperwork and proof of it. Do I need a lawyer or can I do this without one? Money is tight since an unexpected baby is expensive. Thank you. I appreciate anyone who replies even if it is to tell me I'm wrong and need a lawyer.
|
iftsnvl
|
ifrqxa0
| 1,657,608,090 | 1,657,572,491 | 62 | 49 |
Grand parents rights usually require an existing relationship. Don't let them visit at all from now on. They could use that to claim they have one which needs protection.
|
You really want to have a lawyer. It sounds like you should prevail, but having court-mandated visitation with people you are estranged with is a nightmare. A lawyer will be able to keep you from losing due to some simple mistake.
| 1 | 35,599 | 1.265306 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i25quuu
|
i26m4lq
| 1,648,270,554 | 1,648,296,217 | 186 | 462 |
She needs to report this to HR immediately. Do not wait. Do not wait for another incident. She needs to create a formal paper trail. If she waits it will go against her if there is another incident. She also needs to keep detailed record of all encounters. Do not keep it on the work computer or work phone. Do not put it on a paper journal at the office. She needs to document an electronic copy (preferably backed up into iCloud or something similar) on a personal phone or computer. Date, time and as detailed as possible. Since Florida is a two party state, she cannot record any conversations without his permission. I would encourage her to keep the door open at all times, and if possible invite a third person to join for any further conversations. If there is another incident, notify HR immediately (like get up and walk to HR right then). She should have her resume ready to go because if this continues, she'll need a new job. Have a list of lawyers to call should there be a repeat performance. If it were me.... at the mere mention of your name, I would pull out my phone, call you and put you on speaker phone. If he wants to have a conversation about you, he might as well be a "real man" and talk to you himself.
|
Document, document, document. I'm afraid your GF's job is in jeopardy regardless. It's a small company so it's pretty much its own Banana Republic. GF needs to start looking, possibly have an interview with an attorney specializing in sexual harassment cases.
| 0 | 25,663 | 2.483871 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26m4lq
|
i25illc
| 1,648,296,217 | 1,648,265,631 | 462 | 155 |
Document, document, document. I'm afraid your GF's job is in jeopardy regardless. It's a small company so it's pretty much its own Banana Republic. GF needs to start looking, possibly have an interview with an attorney specializing in sexual harassment cases.
|
As someone else has mentioned, have her take note of every single time he even mentions this subject. If it’s multiple times, she should go to HR
| 1 | 30,586 | 2.980645 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i265fxk
|
i26m4lq
| 1,648,282,264 | 1,648,296,217 | 35 | 462 |
Okay so to me this sounds like quid pro quo (this for that) harassment I suggest taking a few steps: -Tell the harasser to stop Either in person with a witness, or Write a cease and desist letter keep copies! -Find your company’s harassment policies and process for filing a harassment claim Contact your HR department if you need help Report the quid pro quo harassment to HR. If nothing comes of reporting the harassment internally, or if you experience retaliation from your workplace: File a complaint with a government agency, such as a local office of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) Take legal action with a lawyer who works with sexual harassment cases
|
Document, document, document. I'm afraid your GF's job is in jeopardy regardless. It's a small company so it's pretty much its own Banana Republic. GF needs to start looking, possibly have an interview with an attorney specializing in sexual harassment cases.
| 0 | 13,953 | 13.2 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26m4lq
|
i25wjb5
| 1,648,296,217 | 1,648,274,692 | 462 | 16 |
Document, document, document. I'm afraid your GF's job is in jeopardy regardless. It's a small company so it's pretty much its own Banana Republic. GF needs to start looking, possibly have an interview with an attorney specializing in sexual harassment cases.
|
Definitely harassment, and wildly inappropriate
| 1 | 21,525 | 28.875 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i25z6dg
|
i26m4lq
| 1,648,276,783 | 1,648,296,217 | 12 | 462 |
She needs to speak with an employment attorney ASAP.
|
Document, document, document. I'm afraid your GF's job is in jeopardy regardless. It's a small company so it's pretty much its own Banana Republic. GF needs to start looking, possibly have an interview with an attorney specializing in sexual harassment cases.
| 0 | 19,434 | 38.5 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26l4ib
|
i26m4lq
| 1,648,295,513 | 1,648,296,217 | 5 | 462 |
Not a lawyer but it's hard for me to imagine how, in court, he could defend threatening her job based on who she dates.
|
Document, document, document. I'm afraid your GF's job is in jeopardy regardless. It's a small company so it's pretty much its own Banana Republic. GF needs to start looking, possibly have an interview with an attorney specializing in sexual harassment cases.
| 0 | 704 | 92.4 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i25illc
|
i25quuu
| 1,648,265,631 | 1,648,270,554 | 155 | 186 |
As someone else has mentioned, have her take note of every single time he even mentions this subject. If it’s multiple times, she should go to HR
|
She needs to report this to HR immediately. Do not wait. Do not wait for another incident. She needs to create a formal paper trail. If she waits it will go against her if there is another incident. She also needs to keep detailed record of all encounters. Do not keep it on the work computer or work phone. Do not put it on a paper journal at the office. She needs to document an electronic copy (preferably backed up into iCloud or something similar) on a personal phone or computer. Date, time and as detailed as possible. Since Florida is a two party state, she cannot record any conversations without his permission. I would encourage her to keep the door open at all times, and if possible invite a third person to join for any further conversations. If there is another incident, notify HR immediately (like get up and walk to HR right then). She should have her resume ready to go because if this continues, she'll need a new job. Have a list of lawyers to call should there be a repeat performance. If it were me.... at the mere mention of your name, I would pull out my phone, call you and put you on speaker phone. If he wants to have a conversation about you, he might as well be a "real man" and talk to you himself.
| 0 | 4,923 | 1.2 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i265fxk
|
i26yapa
| 1,648,282,264 | 1,648,303,217 | 35 | 104 |
Okay so to me this sounds like quid pro quo (this for that) harassment I suggest taking a few steps: -Tell the harasser to stop Either in person with a witness, or Write a cease and desist letter keep copies! -Find your company’s harassment policies and process for filing a harassment claim Contact your HR department if you need help Report the quid pro quo harassment to HR. If nothing comes of reporting the harassment internally, or if you experience retaliation from your workplace: File a complaint with a government agency, such as a local office of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) Take legal action with a lawyer who works with sexual harassment cases
|
This is the definition of quid pro quo sexual harassment. If she refuses, and is fired, you should have at least an EEOC claim, but maybe more depending on state.
| 0 | 20,953 | 2.971429 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26yapa
|
i25wjb5
| 1,648,303,217 | 1,648,274,692 | 104 | 16 |
This is the definition of quid pro quo sexual harassment. If she refuses, and is fired, you should have at least an EEOC claim, but maybe more depending on state.
|
Definitely harassment, and wildly inappropriate
| 1 | 28,525 | 6.5 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26yapa
|
i25z6dg
| 1,648,303,217 | 1,648,276,783 | 104 | 12 |
This is the definition of quid pro quo sexual harassment. If she refuses, and is fired, you should have at least an EEOC claim, but maybe more depending on state.
|
She needs to speak with an employment attorney ASAP.
| 1 | 26,434 | 8.666667 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26t9d2
|
i26yapa
| 1,648,300,568 | 1,648,303,217 | 6 | 104 |
Definitely she should report to HR via email and bcc her personal email so she retains a paper trail. If she is fired it will help e sure she can collect unemployment. Also consider that if they want her to leave she could ask for severance money. They might want to pay to make the situation go away and then she would have a financial cushion while she looks for a new job. This is quid pro quo harassment.
|
This is the definition of quid pro quo sexual harassment. If she refuses, and is fired, you should have at least an EEOC claim, but maybe more depending on state.
| 0 | 2,649 | 17.333333 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26l4ib
|
i26yapa
| 1,648,295,513 | 1,648,303,217 | 5 | 104 |
Not a lawyer but it's hard for me to imagine how, in court, he could defend threatening her job based on who she dates.
|
This is the definition of quid pro quo sexual harassment. If she refuses, and is fired, you should have at least an EEOC claim, but maybe more depending on state.
| 0 | 7,704 | 20.8 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i265fxk
|
i26zco7
| 1,648,282,264 | 1,648,303,729 | 35 | 67 |
Okay so to me this sounds like quid pro quo (this for that) harassment I suggest taking a few steps: -Tell the harasser to stop Either in person with a witness, or Write a cease and desist letter keep copies! -Find your company’s harassment policies and process for filing a harassment claim Contact your HR department if you need help Report the quid pro quo harassment to HR. If nothing comes of reporting the harassment internally, or if you experience retaliation from your workplace: File a complaint with a government agency, such as a local office of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) Take legal action with a lawyer who works with sexual harassment cases
|
Not a lawyer but I have taken a lot of annual sexual harassment and workplace violence trainings because they’re mandated for all employers/employees here in NY. Based on how you’ve written it, sounds like he’s insinuating a quid-pro-quo relationship between her job security and her romantic life. That is indeed sexual harassment and in our state there is a direct line either at the NYS AG’s office or Department of Labor (can’t remember offhand) for people to report incidents to. NY law also protects whistleblowers.
| 0 | 21,465 | 1.914286 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26zco7
|
i25wjb5
| 1,648,303,729 | 1,648,274,692 | 67 | 16 |
Not a lawyer but I have taken a lot of annual sexual harassment and workplace violence trainings because they’re mandated for all employers/employees here in NY. Based on how you’ve written it, sounds like he’s insinuating a quid-pro-quo relationship between her job security and her romantic life. That is indeed sexual harassment and in our state there is a direct line either at the NYS AG’s office or Department of Labor (can’t remember offhand) for people to report incidents to. NY law also protects whistleblowers.
|
Definitely harassment, and wildly inappropriate
| 1 | 29,037 | 4.1875 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i25z6dg
|
i26zco7
| 1,648,276,783 | 1,648,303,729 | 12 | 67 |
She needs to speak with an employment attorney ASAP.
|
Not a lawyer but I have taken a lot of annual sexual harassment and workplace violence trainings because they’re mandated for all employers/employees here in NY. Based on how you’ve written it, sounds like he’s insinuating a quid-pro-quo relationship between her job security and her romantic life. That is indeed sexual harassment and in our state there is a direct line either at the NYS AG’s office or Department of Labor (can’t remember offhand) for people to report incidents to. NY law also protects whistleblowers.
| 0 | 26,946 | 5.583333 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26t9d2
|
i26zco7
| 1,648,300,568 | 1,648,303,729 | 6 | 67 |
Definitely she should report to HR via email and bcc her personal email so she retains a paper trail. If she is fired it will help e sure she can collect unemployment. Also consider that if they want her to leave she could ask for severance money. They might want to pay to make the situation go away and then she would have a financial cushion while she looks for a new job. This is quid pro quo harassment.
|
Not a lawyer but I have taken a lot of annual sexual harassment and workplace violence trainings because they’re mandated for all employers/employees here in NY. Based on how you’ve written it, sounds like he’s insinuating a quid-pro-quo relationship between her job security and her romantic life. That is indeed sexual harassment and in our state there is a direct line either at the NYS AG’s office or Department of Labor (can’t remember offhand) for people to report incidents to. NY law also protects whistleblowers.
| 0 | 3,161 | 11.166667 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26zco7
|
i26l4ib
| 1,648,303,729 | 1,648,295,513 | 67 | 5 |
Not a lawyer but I have taken a lot of annual sexual harassment and workplace violence trainings because they’re mandated for all employers/employees here in NY. Based on how you’ve written it, sounds like he’s insinuating a quid-pro-quo relationship between her job security and her romantic life. That is indeed sexual harassment and in our state there is a direct line either at the NYS AG’s office or Department of Labor (can’t remember offhand) for people to report incidents to. NY law also protects whistleblowers.
|
Not a lawyer but it's hard for me to imagine how, in court, he could defend threatening her job based on who she dates.
| 1 | 8,216 | 13.4 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i265fxk
|
i25wjb5
| 1,648,282,264 | 1,648,274,692 | 35 | 16 |
Okay so to me this sounds like quid pro quo (this for that) harassment I suggest taking a few steps: -Tell the harasser to stop Either in person with a witness, or Write a cease and desist letter keep copies! -Find your company’s harassment policies and process for filing a harassment claim Contact your HR department if you need help Report the quid pro quo harassment to HR. If nothing comes of reporting the harassment internally, or if you experience retaliation from your workplace: File a complaint with a government agency, such as a local office of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) Take legal action with a lawyer who works with sexual harassment cases
|
Definitely harassment, and wildly inappropriate
| 1 | 7,572 | 2.1875 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i25z6dg
|
i265fxk
| 1,648,276,783 | 1,648,282,264 | 12 | 35 |
She needs to speak with an employment attorney ASAP.
|
Okay so to me this sounds like quid pro quo (this for that) harassment I suggest taking a few steps: -Tell the harasser to stop Either in person with a witness, or Write a cease and desist letter keep copies! -Find your company’s harassment policies and process for filing a harassment claim Contact your HR department if you need help Report the quid pro quo harassment to HR. If nothing comes of reporting the harassment internally, or if you experience retaliation from your workplace: File a complaint with a government agency, such as a local office of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) Take legal action with a lawyer who works with sexual harassment cases
| 0 | 5,481 | 2.916667 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26t9d2
|
i26zdke
| 1,648,300,568 | 1,648,303,741 | 6 | 11 |
Definitely she should report to HR via email and bcc her personal email so she retains a paper trail. If she is fired it will help e sure she can collect unemployment. Also consider that if they want her to leave she could ask for severance money. They might want to pay to make the situation go away and then she would have a financial cushion while she looks for a new job. This is quid pro quo harassment.
|
Call a lawyer, HR does not have your interests at heart.
| 0 | 3,173 | 1.833333 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26zdke
|
i26l4ib
| 1,648,303,741 | 1,648,295,513 | 11 | 5 |
Call a lawyer, HR does not have your interests at heart.
|
Not a lawyer but it's hard for me to imagine how, in court, he could defend threatening her job based on who she dates.
| 1 | 8,228 | 2.2 |
tofeev
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My girlfriend's boss told her to break up with me. He doesn't even know who I am. Would you consider this sexual harassment? Long story short, the CEO of my girlfriend's company sat her down today and told her to leave me. I just want to clarify that I have NEVER met this man, and he has never met me nor does he know anything about me. We are complete strangers to each other. My girlfriend told me that he basically told her that she "needs a real man" and that her job would be at jeopardy if she didn't break up with me. I told her that this sounds like sexual harassment to me, or something of the like. What do you guys think?
|
i26l4ib
|
i26t9d2
| 1,648,295,513 | 1,648,300,568 | 5 | 6 |
Not a lawyer but it's hard for me to imagine how, in court, he could defend threatening her job based on who she dates.
|
Definitely she should report to HR via email and bcc her personal email so she retains a paper trail. If she is fired it will help e sure she can collect unemployment. Also consider that if they want her to leave she could ask for severance money. They might want to pay to make the situation go away and then she would have a financial cushion while she looks for a new job. This is quid pro quo harassment.
| 0 | 5,055 | 1.2 |
84pgac
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
Girlfriend got sexually harassed by a coworker, I shared screen caps of their conversation via facebook, he lost at least one job following the post, now says he want to collect damages... So, without going into too much detail, this guy (let's call him Chett) claims he "found" nudes of her on a 4chan style revenge porn site. He claimed he could "hack" the site to have her nudes removed. After that, he admitted to saving the images, masturbating to them, and that he had originally planned to blackmail her with the photos so she'd have sex with him. I shared the screen caps, with his name included, and called him out. As a result, he lost one of his jobs working door at a local bar and his day job is likely in jeopardy as well. Facebook forced me to remove the post saying it "violated [their] terms of service." After that, I received an email from Chett's father saying wanting to confirm my phone number (I'm assuming he got it off of my personal website) so his attorney could contact me seeking damages. I feel like this is a scare tactic because any lawyer worth their salt would want their client to refrain from any communication for fear of them ruining the case. Do I need to lawyer up? Also I'm located in Central Virginia, USA.
|
dvrbi3p
|
dvragv6
| 1,521,144,969 | 1,521,144,015 | 746 | 235 |
If you're sued respond. You won't be because telling the truth or opinions (like Chett's a scumbag) isn't actionable. I also appreciate your Weird Science deep cut.
|
Ignore them. If what you posted was factual undoctored information, including of this young gentleman admitting to at least planning a crime, they have no defamation lawsuit against you. If you were going to be sued about this you would have heard from the attorney and not the guys dad.
| 1 | 954 | 3.174468 |
65si5b
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[FL] My husband is mentally unstable, emotionally and physically abusive, and keeps threatening to destroy me in a divorce. I'm an attorney but not in family law, so I don't know what to do and I am afraid. We've been married for 26 months. He is an alcoholic, a cocaine addict, and has outbursts where he yells, insults me, and eventually comes after me physically (pushing, twisting my arm, hitting me in the chest, tearing my phone out of my hand). The cops came once when we lived in NYC and I stupidly asked them not to arrest him. I do fight back when he gets like that- I have thrown small things at him and left marks on his arm once when trying to wrench his hands off my arm when he was twisting it. I'm not perfect. I react to him more than I should. But when someone comes after you like that, as a human being, how can you not react and fight back? So when it comes to the physical stuff, I don't feel like I have a great case. Plus I've never documented the bruises or gone to the doctor. He never hits my face so no one has seen, but I have told co-workers I trust about what has happened. When he flies into these rages he threatens to destroy me in a divorce (and destroy my whole family, which I know is not possible). Right now I am the sole breadwinner. I make $235k a year before taxes, but I have $265k in student loans. I don't have any other debt. We don't own a house. The leased car (we only have the one) is in my name but he threatens to just take it. He has a lot of credit card debt in his name. Until July of last year he was also an attorney making more than I do now, but he quit his job to pursue his dream of being a writer and I agreed to support him. He was a partner at a large NY law firm and he can get another partner job in a month if he wanted to. He has the ability to make more than twice as much as I do but simply chooses not to. I have been paying his credit card debt and all the bills for over 8 months. I know his alimony wouldn't last long with such a short marriage but I am terrified. I make a lot, but with supporting him and his credit card debt and drug habit, we don't have much left at the end of the month. I even put my loans into forbearance so that I could keep up with his credit card payments (of about $5k a month) and so the principal is just going up. How can I protect myself? Can he use facts from my distant past with the court to paint me in a bad light? Can he really get alimony from me when his income before he stopped working was so high, and given that he is choosing not to work? I'm sorry for the wall of text. I don't know what's going to happen- his moods are fickle and despite everything I do love him (I miss how he used to be). Help?
|
dgcz1ur
|
dgczan7
| 1,492,396,033 | 1,492,396,379 | 23 | 48 |
> Can he use facts from my distant past with the court to paint me in a bad light? Hiring the appropriate attorney should alleviate these concerns. Talk to them about the specifics. > Can he really get alimony from me when his income before he stopped working was so high, and given that he is choosing not to work? Possibly. Talk to your attorney about it. >I'm sorry for the wall of text. I don't know what's going to happen- his moods are fickle and despite everything I do love him (I miss how he used to be). Help? You should contact an attorney and get divorce proceedings started. You should also consider leaving, either to a hotel, friends, or a shelter. Talk to your attorney about this. Ask yourself what is keeping me here besides fear? Seems like your are buying a lot of his bullshit. How can you love someone that terrifies and abuses you. It's ok to feel like a stereotype and hate it. They are stereotypes for a reason, because dickbags are not uncommon.
|
If you are a member of the local bar association,reach out to whoever chairs the committee for lawyers with crisis situations. Most problems have to do with substance abuse but the folks who volunteer for committees like that are mindful of privacy. They are also going to know other lawyers in the bar you could speak to about family law.
| 0 | 346 | 2.086957 |
65si5b
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[FL] My husband is mentally unstable, emotionally and physically abusive, and keeps threatening to destroy me in a divorce. I'm an attorney but not in family law, so I don't know what to do and I am afraid. We've been married for 26 months. He is an alcoholic, a cocaine addict, and has outbursts where he yells, insults me, and eventually comes after me physically (pushing, twisting my arm, hitting me in the chest, tearing my phone out of my hand). The cops came once when we lived in NYC and I stupidly asked them not to arrest him. I do fight back when he gets like that- I have thrown small things at him and left marks on his arm once when trying to wrench his hands off my arm when he was twisting it. I'm not perfect. I react to him more than I should. But when someone comes after you like that, as a human being, how can you not react and fight back? So when it comes to the physical stuff, I don't feel like I have a great case. Plus I've never documented the bruises or gone to the doctor. He never hits my face so no one has seen, but I have told co-workers I trust about what has happened. When he flies into these rages he threatens to destroy me in a divorce (and destroy my whole family, which I know is not possible). Right now I am the sole breadwinner. I make $235k a year before taxes, but I have $265k in student loans. I don't have any other debt. We don't own a house. The leased car (we only have the one) is in my name but he threatens to just take it. He has a lot of credit card debt in his name. Until July of last year he was also an attorney making more than I do now, but he quit his job to pursue his dream of being a writer and I agreed to support him. He was a partner at a large NY law firm and he can get another partner job in a month if he wanted to. He has the ability to make more than twice as much as I do but simply chooses not to. I have been paying his credit card debt and all the bills for over 8 months. I know his alimony wouldn't last long with such a short marriage but I am terrified. I make a lot, but with supporting him and his credit card debt and drug habit, we don't have much left at the end of the month. I even put my loans into forbearance so that I could keep up with his credit card payments (of about $5k a month) and so the principal is just going up. How can I protect myself? Can he use facts from my distant past with the court to paint me in a bad light? Can he really get alimony from me when his income before he stopped working was so high, and given that he is choosing not to work? I'm sorry for the wall of text. I don't know what's going to happen- his moods are fickle and despite everything I do love him (I miss how he used to be). Help?
|
dgcz1ur
|
dgd8617
| 1,492,396,033 | 1,492,412,135 | 23 | 35 |
> Can he use facts from my distant past with the court to paint me in a bad light? Hiring the appropriate attorney should alleviate these concerns. Talk to them about the specifics. > Can he really get alimony from me when his income before he stopped working was so high, and given that he is choosing not to work? Possibly. Talk to your attorney about it. >I'm sorry for the wall of text. I don't know what's going to happen- his moods are fickle and despite everything I do love him (I miss how he used to be). Help? You should contact an attorney and get divorce proceedings started. You should also consider leaving, either to a hotel, friends, or a shelter. Talk to your attorney about this. Ask yourself what is keeping me here besides fear? Seems like your are buying a lot of his bullshit. How can you love someone that terrifies and abuses you. It's ok to feel like a stereotype and hate it. They are stereotypes for a reason, because dickbags are not uncommon.
|
On a practical, non legal level, make damned sure you are in possession of and control of your birth control at all times. People like this will do anything to get you stay, including trying to get you pregnant, and they're not above tampering with your birth control to do it (unless you have an iud or something, of course) And once you set up a new place to live, get a p.o. Box and forward any mail there, do not use your new address. Document everything as much a possible- if not with calls to police, at the very least keep a detailed journal with dates and times of each incident. Do not let fear of being "destroyed" in a divorce stop you from making a better life for yourself. Even if he could (doubtful), better off living off ramen for a while than dead.
| 0 | 16,102 | 1.521739 |
65si5b
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[FL] My husband is mentally unstable, emotionally and physically abusive, and keeps threatening to destroy me in a divorce. I'm an attorney but not in family law, so I don't know what to do and I am afraid. We've been married for 26 months. He is an alcoholic, a cocaine addict, and has outbursts where he yells, insults me, and eventually comes after me physically (pushing, twisting my arm, hitting me in the chest, tearing my phone out of my hand). The cops came once when we lived in NYC and I stupidly asked them not to arrest him. I do fight back when he gets like that- I have thrown small things at him and left marks on his arm once when trying to wrench his hands off my arm when he was twisting it. I'm not perfect. I react to him more than I should. But when someone comes after you like that, as a human being, how can you not react and fight back? So when it comes to the physical stuff, I don't feel like I have a great case. Plus I've never documented the bruises or gone to the doctor. He never hits my face so no one has seen, but I have told co-workers I trust about what has happened. When he flies into these rages he threatens to destroy me in a divorce (and destroy my whole family, which I know is not possible). Right now I am the sole breadwinner. I make $235k a year before taxes, but I have $265k in student loans. I don't have any other debt. We don't own a house. The leased car (we only have the one) is in my name but he threatens to just take it. He has a lot of credit card debt in his name. Until July of last year he was also an attorney making more than I do now, but he quit his job to pursue his dream of being a writer and I agreed to support him. He was a partner at a large NY law firm and he can get another partner job in a month if he wanted to. He has the ability to make more than twice as much as I do but simply chooses not to. I have been paying his credit card debt and all the bills for over 8 months. I know his alimony wouldn't last long with such a short marriage but I am terrified. I make a lot, but with supporting him and his credit card debt and drug habit, we don't have much left at the end of the month. I even put my loans into forbearance so that I could keep up with his credit card payments (of about $5k a month) and so the principal is just going up. How can I protect myself? Can he use facts from my distant past with the court to paint me in a bad light? Can he really get alimony from me when his income before he stopped working was so high, and given that he is choosing not to work? I'm sorry for the wall of text. I don't know what's going to happen- his moods are fickle and despite everything I do love him (I miss how he used to be). Help?
|
dgd8617
|
dgd5yc1
| 1,492,412,135 | 1,492,407,232 | 35 | 17 |
On a practical, non legal level, make damned sure you are in possession of and control of your birth control at all times. People like this will do anything to get you stay, including trying to get you pregnant, and they're not above tampering with your birth control to do it (unless you have an iud or something, of course) And once you set up a new place to live, get a p.o. Box and forward any mail there, do not use your new address. Document everything as much a possible- if not with calls to police, at the very least keep a detailed journal with dates and times of each incident. Do not let fear of being "destroyed" in a divorce stop you from making a better life for yourself. Even if he could (doubtful), better off living off ramen for a while than dead.
|
> [Car] is in my name but he threatens to just take it. If he does so, contact the police and report the theft of your car. Likewise, save any documentation you have of his drug use.
| 1 | 4,903 | 2.058824 |
65si5b
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[FL] My husband is mentally unstable, emotionally and physically abusive, and keeps threatening to destroy me in a divorce. I'm an attorney but not in family law, so I don't know what to do and I am afraid. We've been married for 26 months. He is an alcoholic, a cocaine addict, and has outbursts where he yells, insults me, and eventually comes after me physically (pushing, twisting my arm, hitting me in the chest, tearing my phone out of my hand). The cops came once when we lived in NYC and I stupidly asked them not to arrest him. I do fight back when he gets like that- I have thrown small things at him and left marks on his arm once when trying to wrench his hands off my arm when he was twisting it. I'm not perfect. I react to him more than I should. But when someone comes after you like that, as a human being, how can you not react and fight back? So when it comes to the physical stuff, I don't feel like I have a great case. Plus I've never documented the bruises or gone to the doctor. He never hits my face so no one has seen, but I have told co-workers I trust about what has happened. When he flies into these rages he threatens to destroy me in a divorce (and destroy my whole family, which I know is not possible). Right now I am the sole breadwinner. I make $235k a year before taxes, but I have $265k in student loans. I don't have any other debt. We don't own a house. The leased car (we only have the one) is in my name but he threatens to just take it. He has a lot of credit card debt in his name. Until July of last year he was also an attorney making more than I do now, but he quit his job to pursue his dream of being a writer and I agreed to support him. He was a partner at a large NY law firm and he can get another partner job in a month if he wanted to. He has the ability to make more than twice as much as I do but simply chooses not to. I have been paying his credit card debt and all the bills for over 8 months. I know his alimony wouldn't last long with such a short marriage but I am terrified. I make a lot, but with supporting him and his credit card debt and drug habit, we don't have much left at the end of the month. I even put my loans into forbearance so that I could keep up with his credit card payments (of about $5k a month) and so the principal is just going up. How can I protect myself? Can he use facts from my distant past with the court to paint me in a bad light? Can he really get alimony from me when his income before he stopped working was so high, and given that he is choosing not to work? I'm sorry for the wall of text. I don't know what's going to happen- his moods are fickle and despite everything I do love him (I miss how he used to be). Help?
|
dgdh6yo
|
dgdcyyq
| 1,492,435,895 | 1,492,427,185 | 8 | 5 |
You are a lawyer. Go see a divorce lawyer. It's that simple. I'm really sorry you're going through this. It is clearly already affecting your ability to think through solutions to your problems--usually any lawyer, when faced with a possible legal problem in an unfamiliar area of law, will know immediately that the solution to their problem starts with seeing a lawyer who practices in that area. He must really be affecting you badly if you didn't reach that conclusion by yourself. But it is the right conclusion--go see a great divorce lawyer in your area. Also, in case this isn't already how things are, separate your money. If your paycheck is deposited into a joint account, change that--open an individual account (if you don't already have one) and have it deposited there. Actually even if you do already have an individual account, open a new one at a different bank, have your pay deposited there, and arrange to have any statements from that new bank sent to somewhere he doesn't have access to--either a mailbox (UPS stores often have mailboxes you can rent, like PO boxes but more convenient, for about $15-$20/mo) or electronically to a new email address that he doesn't know.
|
Come join us at r/lawyers, my learned friend.
| 1 | 8,710 | 1.6 |
65si5b
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[FL] My husband is mentally unstable, emotionally and physically abusive, and keeps threatening to destroy me in a divorce. I'm an attorney but not in family law, so I don't know what to do and I am afraid. We've been married for 26 months. He is an alcoholic, a cocaine addict, and has outbursts where he yells, insults me, and eventually comes after me physically (pushing, twisting my arm, hitting me in the chest, tearing my phone out of my hand). The cops came once when we lived in NYC and I stupidly asked them not to arrest him. I do fight back when he gets like that- I have thrown small things at him and left marks on his arm once when trying to wrench his hands off my arm when he was twisting it. I'm not perfect. I react to him more than I should. But when someone comes after you like that, as a human being, how can you not react and fight back? So when it comes to the physical stuff, I don't feel like I have a great case. Plus I've never documented the bruises or gone to the doctor. He never hits my face so no one has seen, but I have told co-workers I trust about what has happened. When he flies into these rages he threatens to destroy me in a divorce (and destroy my whole family, which I know is not possible). Right now I am the sole breadwinner. I make $235k a year before taxes, but I have $265k in student loans. I don't have any other debt. We don't own a house. The leased car (we only have the one) is in my name but he threatens to just take it. He has a lot of credit card debt in his name. Until July of last year he was also an attorney making more than I do now, but he quit his job to pursue his dream of being a writer and I agreed to support him. He was a partner at a large NY law firm and he can get another partner job in a month if he wanted to. He has the ability to make more than twice as much as I do but simply chooses not to. I have been paying his credit card debt and all the bills for over 8 months. I know his alimony wouldn't last long with such a short marriage but I am terrified. I make a lot, but with supporting him and his credit card debt and drug habit, we don't have much left at the end of the month. I even put my loans into forbearance so that I could keep up with his credit card payments (of about $5k a month) and so the principal is just going up. How can I protect myself? Can he use facts from my distant past with the court to paint me in a bad light? Can he really get alimony from me when his income before he stopped working was so high, and given that he is choosing not to work? I'm sorry for the wall of text. I don't know what's going to happen- his moods are fickle and despite everything I do love him (I miss how he used to be). Help?
|
dgdh6yo
|
dgdawqq
| 1,492,435,895 | 1,492,420,466 | 8 | 4 |
You are a lawyer. Go see a divorce lawyer. It's that simple. I'm really sorry you're going through this. It is clearly already affecting your ability to think through solutions to your problems--usually any lawyer, when faced with a possible legal problem in an unfamiliar area of law, will know immediately that the solution to their problem starts with seeing a lawyer who practices in that area. He must really be affecting you badly if you didn't reach that conclusion by yourself. But it is the right conclusion--go see a great divorce lawyer in your area. Also, in case this isn't already how things are, separate your money. If your paycheck is deposited into a joint account, change that--open an individual account (if you don't already have one) and have it deposited there. Actually even if you do already have an individual account, open a new one at a different bank, have your pay deposited there, and arrange to have any statements from that new bank sent to somewhere he doesn't have access to--either a mailbox (UPS stores often have mailboxes you can rent, like PO boxes but more convenient, for about $15-$20/mo) or electronically to a new email address that he doesn't know.
|
OP, a quick word since you're worried about finances, but alimony likely won't be too terrible of a burden for you. Once you've split his drug habit is his problem, so you only need to worry about yourself. The credit card bills will be tricky, that will be up to your lawyer to figure out. One positive for you will be the short duration of the marriage. The other big one will be that the ability of the spouse receiving support to work is usually factored into alimony awards, and to be more precise the earning potential of that spouse regardless of what amount they actually earn. Because he is able to earn significantly more than you, even though he chooses not to, that should reduce if not eliminate any amount of alimony you would owe him. But the best person to answer that would definitely be your lawyer. As far as painting you in a bad light, that's almost entirely irrelevant. He can, and it sounds like he might do that just because he is a nasty individual, but that won't affect the relevant facts of the divorce. The moral attributes of the opposing parties, if you want to put it like that, don't usually matter. For instance, if one partner in a relationship was unfaithful and that is the cause for divorce, there is no penalty levied against them for their actions. (They don't get less alimony than otherwise, or have to pay more alimony than otherwise, etc)
| 1 | 15,429 | 2 |
65si5b
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[FL] My husband is mentally unstable, emotionally and physically abusive, and keeps threatening to destroy me in a divorce. I'm an attorney but not in family law, so I don't know what to do and I am afraid. We've been married for 26 months. He is an alcoholic, a cocaine addict, and has outbursts where he yells, insults me, and eventually comes after me physically (pushing, twisting my arm, hitting me in the chest, tearing my phone out of my hand). The cops came once when we lived in NYC and I stupidly asked them not to arrest him. I do fight back when he gets like that- I have thrown small things at him and left marks on his arm once when trying to wrench his hands off my arm when he was twisting it. I'm not perfect. I react to him more than I should. But when someone comes after you like that, as a human being, how can you not react and fight back? So when it comes to the physical stuff, I don't feel like I have a great case. Plus I've never documented the bruises or gone to the doctor. He never hits my face so no one has seen, but I have told co-workers I trust about what has happened. When he flies into these rages he threatens to destroy me in a divorce (and destroy my whole family, which I know is not possible). Right now I am the sole breadwinner. I make $235k a year before taxes, but I have $265k in student loans. I don't have any other debt. We don't own a house. The leased car (we only have the one) is in my name but he threatens to just take it. He has a lot of credit card debt in his name. Until July of last year he was also an attorney making more than I do now, but he quit his job to pursue his dream of being a writer and I agreed to support him. He was a partner at a large NY law firm and he can get another partner job in a month if he wanted to. He has the ability to make more than twice as much as I do but simply chooses not to. I have been paying his credit card debt and all the bills for over 8 months. I know his alimony wouldn't last long with such a short marriage but I am terrified. I make a lot, but with supporting him and his credit card debt and drug habit, we don't have much left at the end of the month. I even put my loans into forbearance so that I could keep up with his credit card payments (of about $5k a month) and so the principal is just going up. How can I protect myself? Can he use facts from my distant past with the court to paint me in a bad light? Can he really get alimony from me when his income before he stopped working was so high, and given that he is choosing not to work? I'm sorry for the wall of text. I don't know what's going to happen- his moods are fickle and despite everything I do love him (I miss how he used to be). Help?
|
dgdcyyq
|
dgdawqq
| 1,492,427,185 | 1,492,420,466 | 5 | 4 |
Come join us at r/lawyers, my learned friend.
|
OP, a quick word since you're worried about finances, but alimony likely won't be too terrible of a burden for you. Once you've split his drug habit is his problem, so you only need to worry about yourself. The credit card bills will be tricky, that will be up to your lawyer to figure out. One positive for you will be the short duration of the marriage. The other big one will be that the ability of the spouse receiving support to work is usually factored into alimony awards, and to be more precise the earning potential of that spouse regardless of what amount they actually earn. Because he is able to earn significantly more than you, even though he chooses not to, that should reduce if not eliminate any amount of alimony you would owe him. But the best person to answer that would definitely be your lawyer. As far as painting you in a bad light, that's almost entirely irrelevant. He can, and it sounds like he might do that just because he is a nasty individual, but that won't affect the relevant facts of the divorce. The moral attributes of the opposing parties, if you want to put it like that, don't usually matter. For instance, if one partner in a relationship was unfaithful and that is the cause for divorce, there is no penalty levied against them for their actions. (They don't get less alimony than otherwise, or have to pay more alimony than otherwise, etc)
| 1 | 6,719 | 1.25 |
4t6bl2
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
My sister and her abusive husband do not let my teenage nephew out of the house besides school except to work at a job, if he gives all his pay to them. They claim to be saving it for college, but my sister admitted to me, they are not. Is this legal? OK Oklahoma
|
d5ewim7
|
d5exi1b
| 1,468,701,268 | 1,468,703,028 | 10 | 59 |
Legal.
|
Under the common law adopted by most of the US states; totally legal. Your state would have to have a specific statute banning the practice; and most states that have statutes on the books about it actually go the other way. I wouldn't say it's great parenting, but sometimes I can see the necessity behind it.
| 0 | 1,760 | 5.9 |
4t6bl2
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
My sister and her abusive husband do not let my teenage nephew out of the house besides school except to work at a job, if he gives all his pay to them. They claim to be saving it for college, but my sister admitted to me, they are not. Is this legal? OK Oklahoma
|
d5faw48
|
d5ewim7
| 1,468,728,953 | 1,468,701,268 | 36 | 10 |
Sorry, something I've always wondered about like in this teen's situation. Why is it legal that teenagers who earn money at part time jobs could have that money taken away by their parents and nothing happens? Why don't these teens have a right to their own paychecks even if the parents demand it?
|
Legal.
| 1 | 27,685 | 3.6 |
4t6bl2
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
My sister and her abusive husband do not let my teenage nephew out of the house besides school except to work at a job, if he gives all his pay to them. They claim to be saving it for college, but my sister admitted to me, they are not. Is this legal? OK Oklahoma
|
d5f0v3g
|
d5faw48
| 1,468,709,149 | 1,468,728,953 | 12 | 36 |
The abuse part isn't legal, the rest is
|
Sorry, something I've always wondered about like in this teen's situation. Why is it legal that teenagers who earn money at part time jobs could have that money taken away by their parents and nothing happens? Why don't these teens have a right to their own paychecks even if the parents demand it?
| 0 | 19,804 | 3 |
4t6bl2
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
My sister and her abusive husband do not let my teenage nephew out of the house besides school except to work at a job, if he gives all his pay to them. They claim to be saving it for college, but my sister admitted to me, they are not. Is this legal? OK Oklahoma
|
d5f0v3g
|
d5ewim7
| 1,468,709,149 | 1,468,701,268 | 12 | 10 |
The abuse part isn't legal, the rest is
|
Legal.
| 1 | 7,881 | 1.2 |
yt9va9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
coworker called my dr pretending to be my dad this person has since been fired for other reasons but now that they're gone, a lot has come out about them. it's devastating to me because i truly trusted this person and thought they were a friend. so a few days ago, another coworker of mine told me on a day that i came back from an appointment with a note from the doctor's office, the now former employee waited for me to leave, looked at the note and told them they next day they called and told them they were my father and proceeded to ask very personal questions regarding my care. who then went back to our job, and proceeded to slam me and try to get me fired. this has all been confirmed by multiple employees. my last step is to call my doc and see if "my dad" called looking for info. i was just wondering if there's anything i can do, legally, assuming i am able to get the proof i need that he violated my rights to privacy. i feel completely disgusted i ever trusted this person and am LIVID they continued to pretend to be my friend.
|
iw4z9ls
|
iw5gzs5
| 1,668,298,842 | 1,668,307,359 | 14 | 54 |
TX attorney - relevant practice area: healthcare & insurance - I also train other attorneys on HIPAA compliance because we have to follow those rules too] To add to the HIPAA concerns already raised, depending on what state you’re in (I can’t tell from the post) many US states have some HIPAA-like law as well, and some of them actually go further than HIPAA in terms of what can or can’t be shared, or have very strict rules on what you need to do to verify you’re the person on the HIPAA release to get your info and some have rules governing specific penalties for when you impersonate someone in order to access a patient’s records. Here’s a [list of the states and their medical records laws. Even in purely HIPAA-type situations medical providers are expected to do some level of verification (ie what’s the patient’s DOB and last four of SSN or their address or something, and some won’t give any info if the number on caller ID doesn’t match the numbers on file). In fact, medical providers can be fined for violating HIPAA (and also their state’s laws depending on the laws) because providers are supposed to conduct the proper verification before releasing any information. While you can’t sue for HIPAA violations, the government can go after the providers and it’s a penalty of $250k per violation. Depending on your state’s laws, you may be able to go after them as well for breach of a duty of care based on the violation. I would suggest when you call that you ask “did my dad call on XYZ day?” and not let them know you suspect an impersonator (so the person doesn’t lie to cover their ass if they realize they screwed up). As for the coworker, that’s not really my wheelhouse (since I deal with defending providers who have been accused of breaching duty of care) but I would suspect there would be some criminal or civil penalty against them as well. If you find out that a violation did occur, I strongly recommend reaching out to a local attorney who specializes in consumer protection/healthcare law and your local AG or prosecutor’s office so they can guide you as to your options. Consider that if the doctor’s office had lax policies in place and gave out patient info without much verification, this may have happened to more than just you, because there’s a huge problem with medical identity theft. So you could be protecting others who didn’t know to ask these questions or even be aware this happened.
|
Unless you are a minor, or have signed giving them permission to provide dad with your information, sharing medical info with your Dad is a violation of federal and the laws of lost states.
| 0 | 8,517 | 3.857143 |
xt4c3y
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Is legal for my neighbor to attempt to intimidate the rest of the neighbors into not calling 911? [MA] In brief, our neighbor ("A"), who lives with their family member ("B"), has a serious substance abuse problem, and frequently passes out in their vehicle with the engine running, at all hours of the day. It's escalated to the point that multiple neighbors have begun calling 911 when it happens. B, instead of dealing with the problem behavior, has begun confronting neighbors, telling them to stop calling 911. B's stance is that we are all harassing A and/or lying to the police (despite the fact that when they show up, A is indeed passed out). B has also stated that the responding officers have identified the callers (?!) and that they are going to be "working with a detective" to "pull the 911 logs" so that B can further identify callers. What B intends to do with that information is unclear, but they are notoriously lawsuit-happy, and have a history of barratry. Two questions: 1. Can B actually do that (e.g. "pull logs", whatever that means)? Some neighbors are freaked out about this, but it sounds like bs to me. 2. What's the legality of B's attempts to intimidate folks into not calling 911? Edited to add: Yeah, I see the typo in the post title, but it is what it is.
|
iqnw396
|
iqnvln9
| 1,664,654,290 | 1,664,654,069 | 161 | 92 |
Calling 911 to report an actual emergency is not illegal. Your defense to a civil lawsuit if it happens are the police reports showing the neighbor was indeed passed out in a running vehicle.
|
> they are notoriously lawsuit-happy How many have their filed? Or won? But this all sounds like b.s.
| 1 | 221 | 1.75 |
xt4c3y
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Is legal for my neighbor to attempt to intimidate the rest of the neighbors into not calling 911? [MA] In brief, our neighbor ("A"), who lives with their family member ("B"), has a serious substance abuse problem, and frequently passes out in their vehicle with the engine running, at all hours of the day. It's escalated to the point that multiple neighbors have begun calling 911 when it happens. B, instead of dealing with the problem behavior, has begun confronting neighbors, telling them to stop calling 911. B's stance is that we are all harassing A and/or lying to the police (despite the fact that when they show up, A is indeed passed out). B has also stated that the responding officers have identified the callers (?!) and that they are going to be "working with a detective" to "pull the 911 logs" so that B can further identify callers. What B intends to do with that information is unclear, but they are notoriously lawsuit-happy, and have a history of barratry. Two questions: 1. Can B actually do that (e.g. "pull logs", whatever that means)? Some neighbors are freaked out about this, but it sounds like bs to me. 2. What's the legality of B's attempts to intimidate folks into not calling 911? Edited to add: Yeah, I see the typo in the post title, but it is what it is.
|
iqoxjma
|
iqow913
| 1,664,671,435 | 1,664,670,815 | 35 | 22 |
LEO here, Druggies threaten crap all the time, this is mild compared to some I’ve heard. Don’t worry, they won’t hire a detective, that’s money that could be spent on drugs! Even then you’re not doing anything illegal and you’re acting under Good Samaritan laws as you called emergency services out of genuine concern. You’re teflon and the druggies know it and it’s why they’re threatening but can’t actually do shit. I’ve heard crazy crap like them name dropping the sheriff I work for and saying they’re good friends with attorney “x” and they’re gonna have my job and a bunch of other BS, nothing ever happens. Druggies will say anything to keep doing drugs.
|
In the USA, 911 call logs, transcripts, and audio files are generally public record and anyone can get them upon request. Note that I don't practice law in Massachusetts and don't know how easy it is to get 911 call information there.
| 1 | 620 | 1.590909 |
xt4c3y
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.92 |
Is legal for my neighbor to attempt to intimidate the rest of the neighbors into not calling 911? [MA] In brief, our neighbor ("A"), who lives with their family member ("B"), has a serious substance abuse problem, and frequently passes out in their vehicle with the engine running, at all hours of the day. It's escalated to the point that multiple neighbors have begun calling 911 when it happens. B, instead of dealing with the problem behavior, has begun confronting neighbors, telling them to stop calling 911. B's stance is that we are all harassing A and/or lying to the police (despite the fact that when they show up, A is indeed passed out). B has also stated that the responding officers have identified the callers (?!) and that they are going to be "working with a detective" to "pull the 911 logs" so that B can further identify callers. What B intends to do with that information is unclear, but they are notoriously lawsuit-happy, and have a history of barratry. Two questions: 1. Can B actually do that (e.g. "pull logs", whatever that means)? Some neighbors are freaked out about this, but it sounds like bs to me. 2. What's the legality of B's attempts to intimidate folks into not calling 911? Edited to add: Yeah, I see the typo in the post title, but it is what it is.
|
iqptsw9
|
iqqwk71
| 1,664,689,577 | 1,664,717,246 | 3 | 4 |
So the rules vary on a state by state basis. So in short 991 calls are public record. However, in some states you need a court order. Some states they need to pay to get a report, but there should be a record of the request. Some call logs are sealed so again a court order might be needed. Also, if a child is involved or there is a fear of public safety, they would need a court order. Start collecting evidence and start looking into harassment charges. Check with a lawyer to see if you have grounds in your place of residence because this is alarming. As far as a lawsuit, they would need a lawyer to actually take their case. I know you said they have free access through their work, but it could be all talk. Do your research and document what you can. Police reports can sometimes be requested. Might be worth a call to your local pd non emergency line to see if they can give info.
|
Start recording your interactions with this neighbor. Get security camera if you don't already. Keep any notes or text messages they send you. I don't know if MA is a one party state if it isn't you can still give the recording and other proof to your lawyer if neighbor does try to sue you. Then you can counter sue for harassment.
| 0 | 27,669 | 1.333333 |
mloj81
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
(NC, USA) My ex-girlfriend moved out over a month ago, I still have her furniture and cat, need to know what I can/should do with all of it, legally. My ex and I broke up in mid-February, and after taking her essential items (clothes, sentimental things, etc), she has made no effort to collect her remaining property. Things left behind include a dresser, box spring and mattress, crafting supplies, decor, and HER CAT SHE'S HAD FOR 12 YEARS. I have no problem keeping these things, and as my ex is currently couch-surfing with her meth buddies, it's becoming increasingly unlikely that she's going to return for them. I just want to know what my legal liability is in case she does come back for said abandoned property. I have asked her if/when she intends to retrieve her things, and her reply is always "I don't f*cking know."
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gtnciwh
|
gto84h5
| 1,617,765,053 | 1,617,791,169 | 6 | 14 |
Here's an ALDF article that talks generally about custody battles over pets: https://aldf.org/article/what-to-do-if-you-are-involved-in-a-custody-battle-over-your-companion-animal/
|
Meth? She’ll return to case the entire place once she’s desperate enough. Change the locks and install a security camera or two.
| 0 | 26,116 | 2.333333 |
pl4laq
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.94 |
My now ex boyfriend let me borrow his car 6 months ago since he went to go work out of state. I’ve since maintained it and assumed responsibilities for the for the vehicle. He suddenly ghosted me and never spoke to me again and won’t answer phone calls or texts. What can I do with the car?
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hc85eac
|
hc81jqj
| 1,631,219,833 | 1,631,218,271 | 113 | 105 |
Look up your state's rules about abandoned vehicles and follow the process for notifying him properly. If he fails to respond and you have the correct documentation you will be able to get a new title in your name.
|
Are you wanting to keep it, or try to get it back to him? Getting it back to him will depend on where he is, and if he has a residence near you. It could be as simple as parking it there and dropping the keys in the mail slot. Does he have family in the area? They may be able to help in that regard. If you want to keep it, you'll need to obtain the title for it. The procedure for this varies by jurisdiction, but basically boils down to filing the appropriate paperwork with the county/DMV, reporting the vehicle 'abandoned in your care'... but make sure you've exhausted all avenues in terms of trying to get in touch with him. (See 'family' above.) I'm going through this with an old truck at the moment. Check with your local DMV about what paperwork is required. It's likely to be a long process, since they'll want to give him every opportunity to reclaim his property. Around here, that means publishing a public notice in at least one newspaper, on the off chance that the owner will see it.
| 1 | 1,562 | 1.07619 |
74gqn1
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
[NY and NC] I broke up with my fiancee a couple months ago, and she still hasn't given the ring back. So at the beginning of August I end up breaking things off with my fiancee. We go through the motions of the break up, yada yada. We lived in NY together, and afterward, since I couldn't afford rent by myself, I ended up moving back in with my parents in NC. My parents, knowing how much I spent on the ring, were concerned that she didn't give it back to me. So I sent her an email asking for it back. No response. About 2 weeks ago, I send another email, saying that it would really just be easier if she sent the ring back, and getting close to begging her to send it back. Now, at the time of the break up, I blocked her on all social medias that I could think of because I knew she would be crazy and insulting to me on them. At this point, I decide to unblock her on Facebook and I send her a message asking if she'd received any of the emails. No response, and I was quickly blocked. Upon doing doing some googling about a month ago, I believe that an engagement ring would be considered a conditional gift, and that since the condition was nullified, the gift would have to be returned to the gift giver. Would this still be valid even though I broke the condition? And what should my next steps be? Thank you very much for reading and helping in whatever way you can.
|
dny3vic
|
dny3tgt
| 1,507,217,901 | 1,507,217,841 | 99 | 16 |
You lived in NY, so NY law applies. https://family-law.lawyers.com/matrimonial-law/who-gets-the-ring-if-the-wedding-is-cancelled.html >States like New York, Kansas, and Pennsylvania have adopted the conditional gift rule for engagement rings. If you live in one of these states, and you and your fiancé part ways before reaching the altar, the recipient has to give back the ring. It doesn’t matter if your fiancée’s affair caused the breakup: In conditional gift states, fault is irrelevant. **Even if you broke off your engagement, the ring on your former fiancée’s finger belongs to you.** https://www.dbnylaw.com/articles/engagement-rings/ According to the web site above, it would cost 3-10,000 USD to recover the ring - make sure you are willing and able to pay that much to recover the ring.
|
Do you have insurance on the ring? You may be able to file a claim on the ring's value, depending on your policy (i.e., if it covers this sort of thing).
| 1 | 60 | 6.1875 |
74gqn1
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
[NY and NC] I broke up with my fiancee a couple months ago, and she still hasn't given the ring back. So at the beginning of August I end up breaking things off with my fiancee. We go through the motions of the break up, yada yada. We lived in NY together, and afterward, since I couldn't afford rent by myself, I ended up moving back in with my parents in NC. My parents, knowing how much I spent on the ring, were concerned that she didn't give it back to me. So I sent her an email asking for it back. No response. About 2 weeks ago, I send another email, saying that it would really just be easier if she sent the ring back, and getting close to begging her to send it back. Now, at the time of the break up, I blocked her on all social medias that I could think of because I knew she would be crazy and insulting to me on them. At this point, I decide to unblock her on Facebook and I send her a message asking if she'd received any of the emails. No response, and I was quickly blocked. Upon doing doing some googling about a month ago, I believe that an engagement ring would be considered a conditional gift, and that since the condition was nullified, the gift would have to be returned to the gift giver. Would this still be valid even though I broke the condition? And what should my next steps be? Thank you very much for reading and helping in whatever way you can.
|
dny3tgt
|
dnyplmj
| 1,507,217,841 | 1,507,240,531 | 16 | 18 |
Do you have insurance on the ring? You may be able to file a claim on the ring's value, depending on your policy (i.e., if it covers this sort of thing).
|
If you get the original ring back make sure it has the original stone. Take it to the Jewelers to make sure.
| 0 | 22,690 | 1.125 |
74gqn1
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.87 |
[NY and NC] I broke up with my fiancee a couple months ago, and she still hasn't given the ring back. So at the beginning of August I end up breaking things off with my fiancee. We go through the motions of the break up, yada yada. We lived in NY together, and afterward, since I couldn't afford rent by myself, I ended up moving back in with my parents in NC. My parents, knowing how much I spent on the ring, were concerned that she didn't give it back to me. So I sent her an email asking for it back. No response. About 2 weeks ago, I send another email, saying that it would really just be easier if she sent the ring back, and getting close to begging her to send it back. Now, at the time of the break up, I blocked her on all social medias that I could think of because I knew she would be crazy and insulting to me on them. At this point, I decide to unblock her on Facebook and I send her a message asking if she'd received any of the emails. No response, and I was quickly blocked. Upon doing doing some googling about a month ago, I believe that an engagement ring would be considered a conditional gift, and that since the condition was nullified, the gift would have to be returned to the gift giver. Would this still be valid even though I broke the condition? And what should my next steps be? Thank you very much for reading and helping in whatever way you can.
|
dnyn4ld
|
dnyplmj
| 1,507,237,745 | 1,507,240,531 | 10 | 18 |
Easy win in small claims court.
|
If you get the original ring back make sure it has the original stone. Take it to the Jewelers to make sure.
| 0 | 2,786 | 1.8 |
4mwtzf
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.89 |
(Advice) Neighbor is being intrusive and creepy. Don't know how to handle it. Want to call cops. Not sure if he's done anything illegal. Some facts: I live in an apartment complex that is locked and gated. My landlord in on a surfing trip for another month and unreachable. All of my neighbors are very cool and normal except one old man. The old man lives above us and has his own porch/patio. Technically speaking there is no arrangement that says the patio area outside our front door is ours only. However anyone would clearly see that it only applies to our apartment. There are no other apartment doors that are accessed by our area. The old man waters the plants around the building usually twice a day. We live in California. So, that's illegal because of the drought. He does weird shit all the time like: -Walk up to our door and jiggle the door handle for no apparent reason. -Hose down our patio furniture (made of wood and I ask him all the time not to), -Turn our Darth Vader planter to face the wall, -Move my ashtray and lighter around in a random OCD way. And then today I found my girlfriend's gardening gloves (not cheap) were soaked and laying in my trash bin on our patio. Also my girlfriend has a whiskey barrel planter that she is growing herbs in. This planter was wet in a pattern that suggests a liquid was thrown at it. Nothing around the planter was wet which suggests this wasn't spray from his habitual watering. So I see this as him hindering the growth of our plants. I could go on and on. He's a total lunatic. He does stuff all the time that just creeps me out. For a whole year I asked him politely to stop each thing and he always politely agreed to but continued doing it. I travel for work often leaving my girlfriend home alone. I don't trust him and I wouldn't put even the most horrible act past him. Wondering what action I can take. Has he done anything illegal? Can I call the cops?
|
d3z0bgy
|
d3z384k
| 1,465,269,902 | 1,465,275,161 | 11 | 14 |
The LL when he/she gets back should be will to clarify that the patio is for your sole use. I would ask the LL for the ok to shoo the man away with the LLs backing. The LL should be OK with firmly saying "Stop touching their stuff." and might be very concerned with the illegal watering. Also calling for a wellness check may be appropriate, let them know if he has a consistent time of day when he acts specifically oddly.
|
You might also want to get a security camera for your door. You can find them cheaply online. Calling adult protective services is also advisable, as it seems like he has some sort of dementia or altered mental state.
| 0 | 5,259 | 1.272727 |
8jesgi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
[WA State, USA] My Muslim girlfriend and I were found out yesterday by the scary side of the family. What are the smartest next steps we can take to guarantee our safety? I'll try to make this quick, because there's a lot of other nuance to the situation, of course. We are both born and raised American, but she has grown up under a house of Islam and Jordanian culture. She is ethnically Circassian, and I am ethnically Scottish and I have never been religious in any respect. She is also 18, and I am 20. We have been together for a year, but things started to kick off in March when people started to find out. We continued talking and now we have been forced to go loud after her dad confronted her about me last night. Her parents are divorced, her dad's side is the scary one \(who has primary custody of her siblings\), and she primarily lived with him until he kicked her out last night. She was picked up by her mother yesterday and is now safe and sound. Her dad fosters a very traditional Middle Eastern culture in his household, as well as that entire side of the family. For now, she is safe elsewhere, and for that I am thankful. Happy Mother's Day. I am not worried about us making it, we are going to be fine, but in order to make sure this doesn't have too lasting repercussions in multiple spheres, I need to know what next steps I can take so that we're safe. When she left yesterday, I'm sure she wasn't able to get her birth certificate or social security number documentation from the house. What can we do to get a copy of these or circumvent the need to go back to that place? I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed \(I could be approached by the males of that household sometime when I'm conveniently alone\), so my first thought is to issue a restraining order. But as far as I understand it both parties need to be present to have it issued. I do not want this man in the same room as me under any circumstances for the immediate future, at least. And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. He could potentially make things happen, and the uncertainty of what that means scares the both of us. What I've been told is that the courts are so male\-dominated that a woman would need to be represented in many ways by her male guardian. For her, now, this would be her dad, and clearly she could be going overseas and directly into some kind of trap to keep her there. This can be avoided if we were married. What do I need to know about a legal marriage and when to go after this? We have no idea what we're doing, and we need all the help we can get to figure this thing out and make sure we can stay healthy as all this continues to happen.
|
dyz2q9p
|
dyz2yey
| 1,526,324,264 | 1,526,324,468 | 27 | 184 |
You have not stated anything that would qualify for a restraining order
|
You're both adults. You, and your partner, have whatever relationship with her family you're willing to have, and no further. In the long term, if her family engage in a pattern of harassment or make threats, talk to the cops. However, in the immediate term, focus on getting to a stable situation. This means: * Making sure she has somewhere safe to live, * Protecting her property and money, and * Having a plan going forwards. On the first, it sounds like the two of you have that under control. Well done; that's a major step and will help a lot. If she's living in her own place or with her mother, then either one of them can tell Dad he's not welcome, and can call the cops if he comes over and won't leave. That's an option that would not really be available if she were still living with her father. On the second: * She should close any joint accounts she shares with her father. (Really, with either parent. She's an adult, and her parents no longer have any good reason to have access to her money without her involvement.) Moving the money to a new account in her own name only will prevent anyone else from withdrawing it. The same goes for joint credit cards, phones under her father's phone plan, and so on. * If she has personal electronics such as a phone from her father, and if she's worried about him stalking or monitoring her, return it and get her her own phone. * If there's any concern about parental credit fraud or identity theft, she should freeze her credit immediately with each of the big three credit reporting agenies. * She should cycle the passwords on her email and social media accounts, and the PIN on her bank cards and credit cards, and review both the authorized apps for each account and the password recovery email address associated with the account. * She can replace her identity documents. Because her mother is involved and apparently trustworthy, this won't be too difficult: her mother can help her get a replacement birth certificate from the state's vital records office, and from there she can get a replacement copy of her SSN documentation from the Social Security Administration, get her own drivers' license, and get her own passport, all without her father's involvement. Once she has those documents, she needs to keep them safe. On the third, as painful as it is, it might be worth postponing a trip to Jordan until this settles out and until her father is less of an issue. It's _unlikely_ that he could coordinate an international kidnapping - that's mostly the stuff of fiction - but it's not impossible, and prevention may be better than cure right now. It's ultimately up to her what risks she's comfortable with; if she does decide to go to Jordan, I might recommend that she look up where the US Consulate offices are and how to contact them in an emergency before she leaves. Do not get married solely for the purpose of travel. Marriage is a major and life-altering commitment for both of you, and untangling a marriage is expensive (and gets more so the longer you remain married). If you want to marry her because you want to spend a substantial portion of your life with her, I wish you every happiness, but don't combine your lives like that just for a trip. You won't be able to get a restraining order solely on the basis that Dad's ex-wife said he _might_ try to approach you. You'd need some evidence that you actually are in danger, or are the victim of stalking or harassment, before a restraining order would be justifiable.
| 0 | 204 | 6.814815 |
8jesgi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
[WA State, USA] My Muslim girlfriend and I were found out yesterday by the scary side of the family. What are the smartest next steps we can take to guarantee our safety? I'll try to make this quick, because there's a lot of other nuance to the situation, of course. We are both born and raised American, but she has grown up under a house of Islam and Jordanian culture. She is ethnically Circassian, and I am ethnically Scottish and I have never been religious in any respect. She is also 18, and I am 20. We have been together for a year, but things started to kick off in March when people started to find out. We continued talking and now we have been forced to go loud after her dad confronted her about me last night. Her parents are divorced, her dad's side is the scary one \(who has primary custody of her siblings\), and she primarily lived with him until he kicked her out last night. She was picked up by her mother yesterday and is now safe and sound. Her dad fosters a very traditional Middle Eastern culture in his household, as well as that entire side of the family. For now, she is safe elsewhere, and for that I am thankful. Happy Mother's Day. I am not worried about us making it, we are going to be fine, but in order to make sure this doesn't have too lasting repercussions in multiple spheres, I need to know what next steps I can take so that we're safe. When she left yesterday, I'm sure she wasn't able to get her birth certificate or social security number documentation from the house. What can we do to get a copy of these or circumvent the need to go back to that place? I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed \(I could be approached by the males of that household sometime when I'm conveniently alone\), so my first thought is to issue a restraining order. But as far as I understand it both parties need to be present to have it issued. I do not want this man in the same room as me under any circumstances for the immediate future, at least. And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. He could potentially make things happen, and the uncertainty of what that means scares the both of us. What I've been told is that the courts are so male\-dominated that a woman would need to be represented in many ways by her male guardian. For her, now, this would be her dad, and clearly she could be going overseas and directly into some kind of trap to keep her there. This can be avoided if we were married. What do I need to know about a legal marriage and when to go after this? We have no idea what we're doing, and we need all the help we can get to figure this thing out and make sure we can stay healthy as all this continues to happen.
|
dyz2yl7
|
dyz2q9p
| 1,526,324,473 | 1,526,324,264 | 33 | 27 |
She may return to the home to get her belongings. She can request that the police give her a civil stand by. >I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed This does not give grounds for a restraining order. You were not threatened. You were just "warned" by the father's ex wife. >And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. OK... I don't think anyone can really tell you what to do with this. But, I don't think that marrying her would give any practical protection. If she legitimately fears for her safety and freedom by going on this trip, she should not go. I would not rely on any anonymous advice on the internet (or some marriage certificate) to offer an assurance of her safety under such unknown conditions.
|
You have not stated anything that would qualify for a restraining order
| 1 | 209 | 1.222222 |
8jesgi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
[WA State, USA] My Muslim girlfriend and I were found out yesterday by the scary side of the family. What are the smartest next steps we can take to guarantee our safety? I'll try to make this quick, because there's a lot of other nuance to the situation, of course. We are both born and raised American, but she has grown up under a house of Islam and Jordanian culture. She is ethnically Circassian, and I am ethnically Scottish and I have never been religious in any respect. She is also 18, and I am 20. We have been together for a year, but things started to kick off in March when people started to find out. We continued talking and now we have been forced to go loud after her dad confronted her about me last night. Her parents are divorced, her dad's side is the scary one \(who has primary custody of her siblings\), and she primarily lived with him until he kicked her out last night. She was picked up by her mother yesterday and is now safe and sound. Her dad fosters a very traditional Middle Eastern culture in his household, as well as that entire side of the family. For now, she is safe elsewhere, and for that I am thankful. Happy Mother's Day. I am not worried about us making it, we are going to be fine, but in order to make sure this doesn't have too lasting repercussions in multiple spheres, I need to know what next steps I can take so that we're safe. When she left yesterday, I'm sure she wasn't able to get her birth certificate or social security number documentation from the house. What can we do to get a copy of these or circumvent the need to go back to that place? I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed \(I could be approached by the males of that household sometime when I'm conveniently alone\), so my first thought is to issue a restraining order. But as far as I understand it both parties need to be present to have it issued. I do not want this man in the same room as me under any circumstances for the immediate future, at least. And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. He could potentially make things happen, and the uncertainty of what that means scares the both of us. What I've been told is that the courts are so male\-dominated that a woman would need to be represented in many ways by her male guardian. For her, now, this would be her dad, and clearly she could be going overseas and directly into some kind of trap to keep her there. This can be avoided if we were married. What do I need to know about a legal marriage and when to go after this? We have no idea what we're doing, and we need all the help we can get to figure this thing out and make sure we can stay healthy as all this continues to happen.
|
dyzcu0b
|
dyzcj0c
| 1,526,333,449 | 1,526,333,163 | 15 | 3 |
Not a lawyer but am of Lebanese descent and have experience with "that side" of the family. Your best play culturally speaking is to "convert" to islam say the words and have a muslim marriage. That's pretty much the only thing that will satisfy them. The best way to do this is to approach the father's local imam ask for his blessing and guidance and to mediate between you and the father. But remember this means at least going through the motions of being muslim I understand why this might be offensive / unacceptable to you. Barring that just keep out of the way. As others have said unless and until an overt threat of some sort is made a court won't issue a restraining order based on ethnicity or religion and you might sour the courts opinion of you if you try.
|
Not strictly legal advice but. It is legal to carry pepper spray in Washington state. I suggest you get some.
| 1 | 286 | 5 |
8jesgi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
[WA State, USA] My Muslim girlfriend and I were found out yesterday by the scary side of the family. What are the smartest next steps we can take to guarantee our safety? I'll try to make this quick, because there's a lot of other nuance to the situation, of course. We are both born and raised American, but she has grown up under a house of Islam and Jordanian culture. She is ethnically Circassian, and I am ethnically Scottish and I have never been religious in any respect. She is also 18, and I am 20. We have been together for a year, but things started to kick off in March when people started to find out. We continued talking and now we have been forced to go loud after her dad confronted her about me last night. Her parents are divorced, her dad's side is the scary one \(who has primary custody of her siblings\), and she primarily lived with him until he kicked her out last night. She was picked up by her mother yesterday and is now safe and sound. Her dad fosters a very traditional Middle Eastern culture in his household, as well as that entire side of the family. For now, she is safe elsewhere, and for that I am thankful. Happy Mother's Day. I am not worried about us making it, we are going to be fine, but in order to make sure this doesn't have too lasting repercussions in multiple spheres, I need to know what next steps I can take so that we're safe. When she left yesterday, I'm sure she wasn't able to get her birth certificate or social security number documentation from the house. What can we do to get a copy of these or circumvent the need to go back to that place? I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed \(I could be approached by the males of that household sometime when I'm conveniently alone\), so my first thought is to issue a restraining order. But as far as I understand it both parties need to be present to have it issued. I do not want this man in the same room as me under any circumstances for the immediate future, at least. And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. He could potentially make things happen, and the uncertainty of what that means scares the both of us. What I've been told is that the courts are so male\-dominated that a woman would need to be represented in many ways by her male guardian. For her, now, this would be her dad, and clearly she could be going overseas and directly into some kind of trap to keep her there. This can be avoided if we were married. What do I need to know about a legal marriage and when to go after this? We have no idea what we're doing, and we need all the help we can get to figure this thing out and make sure we can stay healthy as all this continues to happen.
|
dyzmbxc
|
dyzcj0c
| 1,526,343,358 | 1,526,333,163 | 7 | 3 |
Her documents can be replaced. SS Administration and her birth county. Yes, going to Jordan should wait. its not worth her life or freedom. I don't think a trip is a very good reason to get married.
|
Not strictly legal advice but. It is legal to carry pepper spray in Washington state. I suggest you get some.
| 1 | 10,195 | 2.333333 |
8jesgi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
[WA State, USA] My Muslim girlfriend and I were found out yesterday by the scary side of the family. What are the smartest next steps we can take to guarantee our safety? I'll try to make this quick, because there's a lot of other nuance to the situation, of course. We are both born and raised American, but she has grown up under a house of Islam and Jordanian culture. She is ethnically Circassian, and I am ethnically Scottish and I have never been religious in any respect. She is also 18, and I am 20. We have been together for a year, but things started to kick off in March when people started to find out. We continued talking and now we have been forced to go loud after her dad confronted her about me last night. Her parents are divorced, her dad's side is the scary one \(who has primary custody of her siblings\), and she primarily lived with him until he kicked her out last night. She was picked up by her mother yesterday and is now safe and sound. Her dad fosters a very traditional Middle Eastern culture in his household, as well as that entire side of the family. For now, she is safe elsewhere, and for that I am thankful. Happy Mother's Day. I am not worried about us making it, we are going to be fine, but in order to make sure this doesn't have too lasting repercussions in multiple spheres, I need to know what next steps I can take so that we're safe. When she left yesterday, I'm sure she wasn't able to get her birth certificate or social security number documentation from the house. What can we do to get a copy of these or circumvent the need to go back to that place? I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed \(I could be approached by the males of that household sometime when I'm conveniently alone\), so my first thought is to issue a restraining order. But as far as I understand it both parties need to be present to have it issued. I do not want this man in the same room as me under any circumstances for the immediate future, at least. And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. He could potentially make things happen, and the uncertainty of what that means scares the both of us. What I've been told is that the courts are so male\-dominated that a woman would need to be represented in many ways by her male guardian. For her, now, this would be her dad, and clearly she could be going overseas and directly into some kind of trap to keep her there. This can be avoided if we were married. What do I need to know about a legal marriage and when to go after this? We have no idea what we're doing, and we need all the help we can get to figure this thing out and make sure we can stay healthy as all this continues to happen.
|
dyzcj0c
|
dz04to8
| 1,526,333,163 | 1,526,366,377 | 3 | 6 |
Not strictly legal advice but. It is legal to carry pepper spray in Washington state. I suggest you get some.
|
Not legal advice, but advice from a guy who has lived and worked in Jordan for a couple of years, part of it with the Jordanian police: * Jordan is not lawless territory. It has a well working justice system, and violence against women is a focus area for the police. * Jordan is a fairly big place. It's unlikely that she'll be spotted by someone he knows. * People are helpful. If she was to be attacked in public, people will interfere. * If she goes on a university trip, just make sure to have some friends around. * Jordan is fairly gender equal today. I'd say that they lag maybe 20-30 years after the west, but the movement is in motion and they'll soon catch up. The justice system is on the forefront of this movement (sometimes even ahead of legislation...). * If it should become a legal matter, she will be in a good position. * Jordan cares about what the US thinks. A lot. So, even if it officially wouldn't influence handling of the case, it would influence it. Now, all this depends a bit on where you go. In Amman, it's more or less like a western city, say, Rome or Athens. If you go out to the smaller cities not typically visited by tourists, such as Tafilah or Maan, it may be a bit more backwards, but still shouldn't be a problem. So, I wouldn't be so worried. Feel free to ask if you want advice on Jordan, whether it be practicalities or places to visit or good restaurants or whatever.
| 0 | 33,214 | 2 |
8jesgi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
[WA State, USA] My Muslim girlfriend and I were found out yesterday by the scary side of the family. What are the smartest next steps we can take to guarantee our safety? I'll try to make this quick, because there's a lot of other nuance to the situation, of course. We are both born and raised American, but she has grown up under a house of Islam and Jordanian culture. She is ethnically Circassian, and I am ethnically Scottish and I have never been religious in any respect. She is also 18, and I am 20. We have been together for a year, but things started to kick off in March when people started to find out. We continued talking and now we have been forced to go loud after her dad confronted her about me last night. Her parents are divorced, her dad's side is the scary one \(who has primary custody of her siblings\), and she primarily lived with him until he kicked her out last night. She was picked up by her mother yesterday and is now safe and sound. Her dad fosters a very traditional Middle Eastern culture in his household, as well as that entire side of the family. For now, she is safe elsewhere, and for that I am thankful. Happy Mother's Day. I am not worried about us making it, we are going to be fine, but in order to make sure this doesn't have too lasting repercussions in multiple spheres, I need to know what next steps I can take so that we're safe. When she left yesterday, I'm sure she wasn't able to get her birth certificate or social security number documentation from the house. What can we do to get a copy of these or circumvent the need to go back to that place? I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed \(I could be approached by the males of that household sometime when I'm conveniently alone\), so my first thought is to issue a restraining order. But as far as I understand it both parties need to be present to have it issued. I do not want this man in the same room as me under any circumstances for the immediate future, at least. And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. He could potentially make things happen, and the uncertainty of what that means scares the both of us. What I've been told is that the courts are so male\-dominated that a woman would need to be represented in many ways by her male guardian. For her, now, this would be her dad, and clearly she could be going overseas and directly into some kind of trap to keep her there. This can be avoided if we were married. What do I need to know about a legal marriage and when to go after this? We have no idea what we're doing, and we need all the help we can get to figure this thing out and make sure we can stay healthy as all this continues to happen.
|
dz04nsv
|
dz04to8
| 1,526,366,062 | 1,526,366,377 | 4 | 6 |
/r/exmuslim might have some ideas
|
Not legal advice, but advice from a guy who has lived and worked in Jordan for a couple of years, part of it with the Jordanian police: * Jordan is not lawless territory. It has a well working justice system, and violence against women is a focus area for the police. * Jordan is a fairly big place. It's unlikely that she'll be spotted by someone he knows. * People are helpful. If she was to be attacked in public, people will interfere. * If she goes on a university trip, just make sure to have some friends around. * Jordan is fairly gender equal today. I'd say that they lag maybe 20-30 years after the west, but the movement is in motion and they'll soon catch up. The justice system is on the forefront of this movement (sometimes even ahead of legislation...). * If it should become a legal matter, she will be in a good position. * Jordan cares about what the US thinks. A lot. So, even if it officially wouldn't influence handling of the case, it would influence it. Now, all this depends a bit on where you go. In Amman, it's more or less like a western city, say, Rome or Athens. If you go out to the smaller cities not typically visited by tourists, such as Tafilah or Maan, it may be a bit more backwards, but still shouldn't be a problem. So, I wouldn't be so worried. Feel free to ask if you want advice on Jordan, whether it be practicalities or places to visit or good restaurants or whatever.
| 0 | 315 | 1.5 |
8jesgi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
[WA State, USA] My Muslim girlfriend and I were found out yesterday by the scary side of the family. What are the smartest next steps we can take to guarantee our safety? I'll try to make this quick, because there's a lot of other nuance to the situation, of course. We are both born and raised American, but she has grown up under a house of Islam and Jordanian culture. She is ethnically Circassian, and I am ethnically Scottish and I have never been religious in any respect. She is also 18, and I am 20. We have been together for a year, but things started to kick off in March when people started to find out. We continued talking and now we have been forced to go loud after her dad confronted her about me last night. Her parents are divorced, her dad's side is the scary one \(who has primary custody of her siblings\), and she primarily lived with him until he kicked her out last night. She was picked up by her mother yesterday and is now safe and sound. Her dad fosters a very traditional Middle Eastern culture in his household, as well as that entire side of the family. For now, she is safe elsewhere, and for that I am thankful. Happy Mother's Day. I am not worried about us making it, we are going to be fine, but in order to make sure this doesn't have too lasting repercussions in multiple spheres, I need to know what next steps I can take so that we're safe. When she left yesterday, I'm sure she wasn't able to get her birth certificate or social security number documentation from the house. What can we do to get a copy of these or circumvent the need to go back to that place? I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed \(I could be approached by the males of that household sometime when I'm conveniently alone\), so my first thought is to issue a restraining order. But as far as I understand it both parties need to be present to have it issued. I do not want this man in the same room as me under any circumstances for the immediate future, at least. And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. He could potentially make things happen, and the uncertainty of what that means scares the both of us. What I've been told is that the courts are so male\-dominated that a woman would need to be represented in many ways by her male guardian. For her, now, this would be her dad, and clearly she could be going overseas and directly into some kind of trap to keep her there. This can be avoided if we were married. What do I need to know about a legal marriage and when to go after this? We have no idea what we're doing, and we need all the help we can get to figure this thing out and make sure we can stay healthy as all this continues to happen.
|
dz04nsv
|
dyzcj0c
| 1,526,366,062 | 1,526,333,163 | 4 | 3 |
/r/exmuslim might have some ideas
|
Not strictly legal advice but. It is legal to carry pepper spray in Washington state. I suggest you get some.
| 1 | 32,899 | 1.333333 |
8jesgi
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.86 |
[WA State, USA] My Muslim girlfriend and I were found out yesterday by the scary side of the family. What are the smartest next steps we can take to guarantee our safety? I'll try to make this quick, because there's a lot of other nuance to the situation, of course. We are both born and raised American, but she has grown up under a house of Islam and Jordanian culture. She is ethnically Circassian, and I am ethnically Scottish and I have never been religious in any respect. She is also 18, and I am 20. We have been together for a year, but things started to kick off in March when people started to find out. We continued talking and now we have been forced to go loud after her dad confronted her about me last night. Her parents are divorced, her dad's side is the scary one \(who has primary custody of her siblings\), and she primarily lived with him until he kicked her out last night. She was picked up by her mother yesterday and is now safe and sound. Her dad fosters a very traditional Middle Eastern culture in his household, as well as that entire side of the family. For now, she is safe elsewhere, and for that I am thankful. Happy Mother's Day. I am not worried about us making it, we are going to be fine, but in order to make sure this doesn't have too lasting repercussions in multiple spheres, I need to know what next steps I can take so that we're safe. When she left yesterday, I'm sure she wasn't able to get her birth certificate or social security number documentation from the house. What can we do to get a copy of these or circumvent the need to go back to that place? I was warned by her mother that my own safety cannot be guaranteed \(I could be approached by the males of that household sometime when I'm conveniently alone\), so my first thought is to issue a restraining order. But as far as I understand it both parties need to be present to have it issued. I do not want this man in the same room as me under any circumstances for the immediate future, at least. And my girlfriend would like to go to Jordan as part of a university trip, but that's where her dad is from and he 'knows' people there, apparently. He could potentially make things happen, and the uncertainty of what that means scares the both of us. What I've been told is that the courts are so male\-dominated that a woman would need to be represented in many ways by her male guardian. For her, now, this would be her dad, and clearly she could be going overseas and directly into some kind of trap to keep her there. This can be avoided if we were married. What do I need to know about a legal marriage and when to go after this? We have no idea what we're doing, and we need all the help we can get to figure this thing out and make sure we can stay healthy as all this continues to happen.
|
dyzcj0c
|
dz0j93c
| 1,526,333,163 | 1,526,391,915 | 3 | 4 |
Not strictly legal advice but. It is legal to carry pepper spray in Washington state. I suggest you get some.
|
Jordan generally has a reputation for being relatively progressive and fairly safe, but it’s worth noting that the government has a habit of imprisoning women, ostensibly for their own protection, as a method of preventing honor killings. If there’s serious concerns about the father’s family I’d want your girlfriend to be aware of that, especially given that she’s a citizen.
| 0 | 58,752 | 1.333333 |
90r7rv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
[CA] My father and I had our belongings stolen in San Fran several hours before our flight home [OH]. When we got home my father found selfies and videos captured by the criminal in an apartment on my dads iCloud photo album, taken on my dads Ipod. Can we pursue this from out of state? In the selfies the mans face is very distinguishable, and in the videos you can see some of my stolen items, such as my pair of headphones he has around his neck. My questions are is it even worth pursuing this theft from so far away? And if so how strong is the evidence we have? Thank you for any help you can provide.
|
e2sskqd
|
e2sp86p
| 1,532,207,203 | 1,532,203,668 | 27 | 5 |
SFPD is incredibly lax at following-up on property crime. I'm guessing your stuff was stolen out of a rental car (super common)? Even for felony level theft, unless they nab someone during the theft or it had more substantial circumstances (robbery at gunpoint, etc.) all they're going to do is take a report. Do still file a report. If you have any kind of insurance that can cover part of the loss it'll help substantiate your claim. You can file online: http://sanfranciscopolice.org/report
|
San Francisco PD may not take a report depending on the circumstances. If they won't, then go to your local police department and ask them to take a "courtesy report". In essence, your local PD will take the report, along with any evidence you provide, and forward it to San Francisco PD. For many types of reports, identity and loss need to be verified.
| 1 | 3,535 | 5.4 |
90r7rv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
[CA] My father and I had our belongings stolen in San Fran several hours before our flight home [OH]. When we got home my father found selfies and videos captured by the criminal in an apartment on my dads iCloud photo album, taken on my dads Ipod. Can we pursue this from out of state? In the selfies the mans face is very distinguishable, and in the videos you can see some of my stolen items, such as my pair of headphones he has around his neck. My questions are is it even worth pursuing this theft from so far away? And if so how strong is the evidence we have? Thank you for any help you can provide.
|
e2tj5re
|
e2tb3tc
| 1,532,240,148 | 1,532,228,490 | 3 | 2 |
No idea how new-fangled iPods handle photos and security, but if pics of him have been uploaded to your father's iCloud account it would definitely be worth saving them and checking to see if the EXIF metadata happened to leave GPS coordinates attached from where the photos were taken (googling should turn up all the info you'd need for that). With any luck, you might get a hit on a residential address. In my experience when you do the legwork for cops in theft cases and give them a specific address they're a lot more likely to follow through.
|
Would it be a good idea to look at the background of the pics to try to narrow down which area of the city they were likely taken? Not sure if this is considered doing or against the rules of this sub. Just trying to help op give better info to police so he/she can recover his/her stuff.
| 1 | 11,658 | 1.5 |
90r7rv
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
[CA] My father and I had our belongings stolen in San Fran several hours before our flight home [OH]. When we got home my father found selfies and videos captured by the criminal in an apartment on my dads iCloud photo album, taken on my dads Ipod. Can we pursue this from out of state? In the selfies the mans face is very distinguishable, and in the videos you can see some of my stolen items, such as my pair of headphones he has around his neck. My questions are is it even worth pursuing this theft from so far away? And if so how strong is the evidence we have? Thank you for any help you can provide.
|
e2t8vw9
|
e2tj5re
| 1,532,225,796 | 1,532,240,148 | 2 | 3 |
It couldn't hurt to try, but I wouldn't hold out too much hope. As a long time resident I've seen many situations where they had very clear video footage of people doing all matter of horrible crimes and nothing ever comes of it. I do know that back when smart phone theft was a major problem, they did often catch people who stole iphones/ipods/ipads with tracking software installed. It was mentioned in the police blotter in my district- whether they caught the perps that way or if the victim didn't have it installed- frequently. The non-emergency number for SFPD is 415-553-0123. I'm sorry this happened to you. This is why I no longer leave my ipod in my car, not even in my glovebox.
|
No idea how new-fangled iPods handle photos and security, but if pics of him have been uploaded to your father's iCloud account it would definitely be worth saving them and checking to see if the EXIF metadata happened to leave GPS coordinates attached from where the photos were taken (googling should turn up all the info you'd need for that). With any luck, you might get a hit on a residential address. In my experience when you do the legwork for cops in theft cases and give them a specific address they're a lot more likely to follow through.
| 0 | 14,352 | 1.5 |
ycpvxz
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.96 |
My dog bit my friend’s kid after my friend left my dog out of it’s cage and left her child unattended, all while i wasn’t home. Who is responsible for the damage? My friend needed access to my house while i was away to move in some stuff and brought her three year old with her. I have two dogs, a large 10 year old german shepherd and a 3 year old shih tzu. When she got to my house she released both dogs without my consent for her daughter to play with them. They have met a few times under my supervision and my dogs have always been friendly. This time my friend left her three year old unattended with my dogs while she was moving in something into my garage. That’s when she heard her three year old crying and came to find that my shih tzu had bit her in the face. No one knows what happened as to why my dog reacted, if it was provoked or what the case may be but who would be responsible for the damages here? Please help. I feel horrible and would be offering to pay or help with the expenses but i am in lots of debt so it was hard for me to offer straight ahead and now my friend is ignoring me.
|
itnymww
|
itnylwp
| 1,666,660,099 | 1,666,660,088 | 378 | 286 |
If you have Homeowners or Renters insurance, you can file a claim for Medical Payments for the kid, without even admitting any liability, as a show of good faith.
|
Jurisdiction matters here. Many states have strict liability for dog bites, which means the owner can be held responsible even if he or she wasn't negligent. That being said, your friend chose to release your dogs and then leave her child unattended with them, so her negligence could be considered an intervening cause or at the very least, can limit how much liability you have, if you have any.
| 1 | 11 | 1.321678 |
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