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zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytu2e3
|
iytan4i
| 1,670,122,070 | 1,670,112,619 | 29 | 21 |
You have no legal obligation here. I am in the same situation but have decided to care for my brother. I didn’t always feel this way, but now in my 40s I have a better sense of what I can and can’t handle. Maybe you can ask to be appointed in some years.
|
You can have the conservatory documentation, in addition to the powers it invests in you, to allow you to hire an attorney or advisor, to assist you whenever you do not feel competent to handle any matter within your authority. That way you can accept the responsibility to make your parents happy, and seek help or guidance whenever you feel you want or need it when the time comes.
| 1 | 9,451 | 1.380952 |
zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytu2e3
|
iytr35i
| 1,670,122,070 | 1,670,120,577 | 29 | 6 |
You have no legal obligation here. I am in the same situation but have decided to care for my brother. I didn’t always feel this way, but now in my 40s I have a better sense of what I can and can’t handle. Maybe you can ask to be appointed in some years.
|
You insist on a public guardian and trustee.
| 1 | 1,493 | 4.833333 |
zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytg25l
|
iytu2e3
| 1,670,115,182 | 1,670,122,070 | 6 | 29 |
Just tell your parents no.
|
You have no legal obligation here. I am in the same situation but have decided to care for my brother. I didn’t always feel this way, but now in my 40s I have a better sense of what I can and can’t handle. Maybe you can ask to be appointed in some years.
| 0 | 6,888 | 4.833333 |
zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytan4i
|
iytgfxl
| 1,670,112,619 | 1,670,115,368 | 21 | 24 |
You can have the conservatory documentation, in addition to the powers it invests in you, to allow you to hire an attorney or advisor, to assist you whenever you do not feel competent to handle any matter within your authority. That way you can accept the responsibility to make your parents happy, and seek help or guidance whenever you feel you want or need it when the time comes.
|
They can pay for corporate trust management. It tends to be more rigidly enforced and that’s not always ideal for quickly and humanly dealing with unexpected issues but is going to be above board. Keep in mind that this is expensive and inheritance for all of the kids might be reduced if they are planning for a lifetime of paid trust management for your disabled brother. Not that you should agree to something you don’t want to do to preserve your potential inheritance. I am not suggesting that at all. Just wanted to point out that it might change the way that they plan the estate. I would not delay in telling them though so that they can get to planning. Whoever they use for asset management should be able to make a referral for those services if the estate planning attorney is not able to.
| 0 | 2,749 | 1.142857 |
zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytgfxl
|
iytg25l
| 1,670,115,368 | 1,670,115,182 | 24 | 6 |
They can pay for corporate trust management. It tends to be more rigidly enforced and that’s not always ideal for quickly and humanly dealing with unexpected issues but is going to be above board. Keep in mind that this is expensive and inheritance for all of the kids might be reduced if they are planning for a lifetime of paid trust management for your disabled brother. Not that you should agree to something you don’t want to do to preserve your potential inheritance. I am not suggesting that at all. Just wanted to point out that it might change the way that they plan the estate. I would not delay in telling them though so that they can get to planning. Whoever they use for asset management should be able to make a referral for those services if the estate planning attorney is not able to.
|
Just tell your parents no.
| 1 | 186 | 4 |
zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytr35i
|
iytvhi8
| 1,670,120,577 | 1,670,122,805 | 6 | 21 |
You insist on a public guardian and trustee.
|
Tell them exactly what you said here and live the life you deserve.
| 0 | 2,228 | 3.5 |
zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytg25l
|
iytvhi8
| 1,670,115,182 | 1,670,122,805 | 6 | 21 |
Just tell your parents no.
|
Tell them exactly what you said here and live the life you deserve.
| 0 | 7,623 | 3.5 |
zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytvnkc
|
iytr35i
| 1,670,122,892 | 1,670,120,577 | 14 | 6 |
Tell your parents that you are not a good choice. You said you have other brothers, they can ask them.
|
You insist on a public guardian and trustee.
| 1 | 2,315 | 2.333333 |
zbr7zc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.95 |
My parents want me to manage my mentally handicapped brother's finances and be a co-conservator when they are dead, I don't want to. How do I deal with this? I have a brother who has low-functioning autism, and he is unable to take care of himself. While my parents plan to put him under the conservatorship of his caregiver, they want to make either me or one of my other brothers co-conservator and manage his trust fund, because they don't trust non-family with the fund. I am honestly not the best person to do either. Not only will I possibly live across the country with a family of my own by the time they're gone but I am not on the best terms with him. He has tormented me so much in my college years and for a little while afterwards that I'd really rather not be responsible for him even partially. This won't be for another 20 or so years, but what are my options?
|
iytg25l
|
iytvnkc
| 1,670,115,182 | 1,670,122,892 | 6 | 14 |
Just tell your parents no.
|
Tell your parents that you are not a good choice. You said you have other brothers, they can ask them.
| 0 | 7,710 | 2.333333 |
ngpghm
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
Brother gave officer MY name and DOB for traffic citation now my license is on the ticket and I wasn’t even there. [CA] Preface: In March my 19 year old brother was driving his friend’s car and got a citation for speeding 85mph in a 50mph zone, VC 23109 (a), that can possibly be dropped to VC 23109 (c). However, my brother doesn’t have a driver’s license so when the police officer asked for his name and DOB, he provided my name and DOB. I’m guessing since my brother does look similar to me in my DL photo, the officer bought it and issued the citation with all of my DL information. Now the thing is, I wasn’t even there. I currently live about 200 miles away from where the citation was issued (college student), I was at work most of the day, AND haven’t even been near the area in which it happened since January. I didn’t know anything about this until my mom received it and sent me a photo of it. I don’t have other prior citations issued to me besides speeding 2 years ago, which I paid for. I haven’t been to court before and am just worried about how to resolve this. Luckily the court date isn’t until June. Should I just drive down there and try to explain in court? Or have my brother show up with me and confess to using my info? I can also prove that I wasn’t there. I need some advice on this situation as I don’t want this on my record, there has to be some way I could be exonerated from this.
|
gys5bkp
|
gys4zrn
| 1,621,481,731 | 1,621,481,549 | 43 | 35 |
Good alibi evidence would be ideal. You don't have to prove your brother was driving, just that you very probably were not. The bad news is that to have a good chance of getting it dropped before trial, you will need an attorney to present your alibi in pretrial negotiations. They will have more experience with whether or not your brother will also have to admit to providing false ID information.
|
Your brother needs an attorney, and so do you. ASAP This is a big mess which includes identity theft. No way you can get competent advice here on Reddit.
| 1 | 182 | 1.228571 |
ngpghm
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
Brother gave officer MY name and DOB for traffic citation now my license is on the ticket and I wasn’t even there. [CA] Preface: In March my 19 year old brother was driving his friend’s car and got a citation for speeding 85mph in a 50mph zone, VC 23109 (a), that can possibly be dropped to VC 23109 (c). However, my brother doesn’t have a driver’s license so when the police officer asked for his name and DOB, he provided my name and DOB. I’m guessing since my brother does look similar to me in my DL photo, the officer bought it and issued the citation with all of my DL information. Now the thing is, I wasn’t even there. I currently live about 200 miles away from where the citation was issued (college student), I was at work most of the day, AND haven’t even been near the area in which it happened since January. I didn’t know anything about this until my mom received it and sent me a photo of it. I don’t have other prior citations issued to me besides speeding 2 years ago, which I paid for. I haven’t been to court before and am just worried about how to resolve this. Luckily the court date isn’t until June. Should I just drive down there and try to explain in court? Or have my brother show up with me and confess to using my info? I can also prove that I wasn’t there. I need some advice on this situation as I don’t want this on my record, there has to be some way I could be exonerated from this.
|
gysx632
|
gysan34
| 1,621,502,844 | 1,621,484,834 | 27 | 17 |
Your brother committed identify theft, of which you are the victim. Get an attorney - a different attorney to the one your brother has - to (a) sort out the ticket and get it cleared from your record, and (b) go after your brother for committing identity theft against you. Don't let anyone try and talk you out of it, family or friends. They'll say things like "oh he's family" or "it was a mistake", just ignore them. He tried to screw you over, you're just setting things right. He's the one who has to suffer the consequences of his actions (the ticket, the identity theft), not you.
|
Your brother stole your identity, which will be a big headache for you and get him into more trouble. You need to consult with a criminal defense attorney. He might advise you to report your brother to the authorities for identity theft.
| 1 | 18,010 | 1.588235 |
ngpghm
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
Brother gave officer MY name and DOB for traffic citation now my license is on the ticket and I wasn’t even there. [CA] Preface: In March my 19 year old brother was driving his friend’s car and got a citation for speeding 85mph in a 50mph zone, VC 23109 (a), that can possibly be dropped to VC 23109 (c). However, my brother doesn’t have a driver’s license so when the police officer asked for his name and DOB, he provided my name and DOB. I’m guessing since my brother does look similar to me in my DL photo, the officer bought it and issued the citation with all of my DL information. Now the thing is, I wasn’t even there. I currently live about 200 miles away from where the citation was issued (college student), I was at work most of the day, AND haven’t even been near the area in which it happened since January. I didn’t know anything about this until my mom received it and sent me a photo of it. I don’t have other prior citations issued to me besides speeding 2 years ago, which I paid for. I haven’t been to court before and am just worried about how to resolve this. Luckily the court date isn’t until June. Should I just drive down there and try to explain in court? Or have my brother show up with me and confess to using my info? I can also prove that I wasn’t there. I need some advice on this situation as I don’t want this on my record, there has to be some way I could be exonerated from this.
|
gysx632
|
gysnze0
| 1,621,502,844 | 1,621,494,317 | 27 | 16 |
Your brother committed identify theft, of which you are the victim. Get an attorney - a different attorney to the one your brother has - to (a) sort out the ticket and get it cleared from your record, and (b) go after your brother for committing identity theft against you. Don't let anyone try and talk you out of it, family or friends. They'll say things like "oh he's family" or "it was a mistake", just ignore them. He tried to screw you over, you're just setting things right. He's the one who has to suffer the consequences of his actions (the ticket, the identity theft), not you.
|
> Or have my brother show up with me and confess to using my info If you were to call him to testify, and he actually agreed to do so (he has the right to invoke the Fifth Amendment and not answer this kind of question), then you would likely be acquitted. The problem is, the DA is highly likely to turn around and charge your brother with something like PC 148.9. Another approach is to show you weren't driving without stating your own claim as to who was. For example, if your college courses tracked attendance or if you have proof that you were at work that day or something like that, given the distance is several hours driving time, that may be a sufficient alibi so that you can get out of it without directly addressing the question of who was actually driving at the time.
| 1 | 8,527 | 1.6875 |
qp2x9z
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
[Ca] Delta Delayed my flight by two hours, then assumed I couldn't make my connection and gave my seat away to TWO different people and would not let me on though I arrived on time. Delta did everything in their power to keep me from getting there. My flight was delayed 2 hours, we were supposed to get in at the gate next to my other flight, but instead they dropped us on the tarmac and made us wait 10 minutes for a bus, then refused to speak to me at the front desk. I was meeting up with my girlfriend, and there were two men already there by the time i arrived who were fighting over MY seat, both had tix that they had gotten in the last hour. I made it and they wouldn't let me on! Now I wont get in until 7am the next day, and have to take a day off PTO. As a bonus, I also had medication in my packed bag I need to take tonight, but instead I'll be spending the next 6 hours sitting in a terminal. I've received no help or recourse-- do they owe me anything for literally giving my seat away when i was making it and they KNEW the delay was their fault? I'm mostly concerned about the PTO I'm going to be wasting now, but theres no way i can work tomorrow after flying all night, i can't sleep on planes, especially without my meds and in a middle seat with 2 strangers.
|
hjrn0ja
|
hjr2jjh
| 1,636,345,757 | 1,636,335,564 | 3,429 | 1,382 |
Delta needs to give you a hotel room and a meal voucher. Don’t ask for a room. Say, what hotel have I been assigned and where can I get the shuttle. Get the name and number of the hotel to follow up with the van picking you. Also, your bag should not have continued on. So, ask for a voucher for essentials like food and stuff. I know you can’t recover medications but, when you check your bag they are supposed to ask you to remove things like keys, medications, passports etc. so, that part sucks. It’s probably too late now but try to see if they can put you on another airline that will get you there sooner. Unfortunately seat are released after a certain time and there is a list that has to be followed to fill that seat. I’m not saying it’s right or fair. Legislation needs to fix this problem (amongst many other problems) that cause major inconveniences for passengers. Source: I work for a major airline.
|
Your checked bag should not be on the connecting flight. Also as an FYI never pack your medications that you need in checked baggage. Airlines lose baggage. As far as being bumped: https://www.transportation.gov/individuals/aviation-consumer-protection/bumping-oversales
| 1 | 10,193 | 2.481187 |
qp2x9z
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
[Ca] Delta Delayed my flight by two hours, then assumed I couldn't make my connection and gave my seat away to TWO different people and would not let me on though I arrived on time. Delta did everything in their power to keep me from getting there. My flight was delayed 2 hours, we were supposed to get in at the gate next to my other flight, but instead they dropped us on the tarmac and made us wait 10 minutes for a bus, then refused to speak to me at the front desk. I was meeting up with my girlfriend, and there were two men already there by the time i arrived who were fighting over MY seat, both had tix that they had gotten in the last hour. I made it and they wouldn't let me on! Now I wont get in until 7am the next day, and have to take a day off PTO. As a bonus, I also had medication in my packed bag I need to take tonight, but instead I'll be spending the next 6 hours sitting in a terminal. I've received no help or recourse-- do they owe me anything for literally giving my seat away when i was making it and they KNEW the delay was their fault? I'm mostly concerned about the PTO I'm going to be wasting now, but theres no way i can work tomorrow after flying all night, i can't sleep on planes, especially without my meds and in a middle seat with 2 strangers.
|
hjrd8qa
|
hjrn0ja
| 1,636,340,671 | 1,636,345,757 | 199 | 3,429 |
How long before the departure time were you at the gate?
|
Delta needs to give you a hotel room and a meal voucher. Don’t ask for a room. Say, what hotel have I been assigned and where can I get the shuttle. Get the name and number of the hotel to follow up with the van picking you. Also, your bag should not have continued on. So, ask for a voucher for essentials like food and stuff. I know you can’t recover medications but, when you check your bag they are supposed to ask you to remove things like keys, medications, passports etc. so, that part sucks. It’s probably too late now but try to see if they can put you on another airline that will get you there sooner. Unfortunately seat are released after a certain time and there is a list that has to be followed to fill that seat. I’m not saying it’s right or fair. Legislation needs to fix this problem (amongst many other problems) that cause major inconveniences for passengers. Source: I work for a major airline.
| 0 | 5,086 | 17.231156 |
qp2x9z
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
[Ca] Delta Delayed my flight by two hours, then assumed I couldn't make my connection and gave my seat away to TWO different people and would not let me on though I arrived on time. Delta did everything in their power to keep me from getting there. My flight was delayed 2 hours, we were supposed to get in at the gate next to my other flight, but instead they dropped us on the tarmac and made us wait 10 minutes for a bus, then refused to speak to me at the front desk. I was meeting up with my girlfriend, and there were two men already there by the time i arrived who were fighting over MY seat, both had tix that they had gotten in the last hour. I made it and they wouldn't let me on! Now I wont get in until 7am the next day, and have to take a day off PTO. As a bonus, I also had medication in my packed bag I need to take tonight, but instead I'll be spending the next 6 hours sitting in a terminal. I've received no help or recourse-- do they owe me anything for literally giving my seat away when i was making it and they KNEW the delay was their fault? I'm mostly concerned about the PTO I'm going to be wasting now, but theres no way i can work tomorrow after flying all night, i can't sleep on planes, especially without my meds and in a middle seat with 2 strangers.
|
hjrd8qa
|
hjsfkj6
| 1,636,340,671 | 1,636,368,168 | 199 | 267 |
How long before the departure time were you at the gate?
|
Since you can’t change the outcome of the flight, I would suggest complaining to customer service (via Twitter has worked great for me). I’ve been given hotel room voucher, flight voucher AND a check for any incidentals for a cancelled Delta flight. (Edited: typo)
| 0 | 27,497 | 1.341709 |
qp2x9z
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
[Ca] Delta Delayed my flight by two hours, then assumed I couldn't make my connection and gave my seat away to TWO different people and would not let me on though I arrived on time. Delta did everything in their power to keep me from getting there. My flight was delayed 2 hours, we were supposed to get in at the gate next to my other flight, but instead they dropped us on the tarmac and made us wait 10 minutes for a bus, then refused to speak to me at the front desk. I was meeting up with my girlfriend, and there were two men already there by the time i arrived who were fighting over MY seat, both had tix that they had gotten in the last hour. I made it and they wouldn't let me on! Now I wont get in until 7am the next day, and have to take a day off PTO. As a bonus, I also had medication in my packed bag I need to take tonight, but instead I'll be spending the next 6 hours sitting in a terminal. I've received no help or recourse-- do they owe me anything for literally giving my seat away when i was making it and they KNEW the delay was their fault? I'm mostly concerned about the PTO I'm going to be wasting now, but theres no way i can work tomorrow after flying all night, i can't sleep on planes, especially without my meds and in a middle seat with 2 strangers.
|
hjrd8qa
|
hjtbfbs
| 1,636,340,671 | 1,636,385,960 | 199 | 203 |
How long before the departure time were you at the gate?
|
I am assuming this is a domestic flight in the US. If it is international, the situation is much the same but is based on the Montreal Convention. Keep a receipt for *all* expenses caused by both their delay and their refusal to board-- taxis, rooms, 8 hours of your PTO (use your salary divided by 2080 hours to derive rate), cancelled plans, etc. Delta's US domestic contract of carriage clearly establishes that they will compensate you as follows: * Provide a room, or if rooms are not available a $100 compensation for lodging (Rule 19(D)) * Provide you alternative transportation (Rule 19(D)), *as well as* 200% of the ticket cost (Rule 19(F)1) * If they cannot arrange the flight, 400% of the ticket price (Rule 19(F)2) * That compensation will occur at the time and place of denied boarding, or within 24 hours If they do not follow these rules, you have grounds for a lawsuit in small claims court. The best way (IMO) to proceed would be to notify them via certified mail of what happened; the letter should be business formal and be an unemotional accounting of facts: what happened, when it happened, what their contract states, and how what they provided breached that contract. Do not threaten them with lawsuit: simply firmly request that they compensate you for their failure within a reasonable time (14 days?) The letter should itemize what costs were incurred by their breach. Emotions, annoyance, and bad feelings are not costs; picking up a new prescription, taking taxis, paying for hotels, and used up PTO are costs as are any missed pre-paid days at your destination's lodging. Airport meals can be included as well. Include photocopies of as much proof as you have: receipts, boarding passes, even pictures that establish your story. You can include the 200% or 400% compensation from their contract of carriage, if it is greater than the expenses you incurred, but you might not be able to get both that and expense reimbursement-- I suspect that you will have to choose. The letter should be sent to Delta's registered agent (or agent of service) in your state-- this is an entity whose job is to forward correspondence to Delta. For California, you can look them up here; it looks like Delta goes by "Delta Air Lines", or entity number C0526706. They may try to argue with you on reimbursing PTO (as it is not money) but you should be firm on that point-- most companies pay out PTO in cash when you leave and frankly it will cost them a whole lot more than that to see you in small claims court. If they snub you (which is possible), file a warrant in debt small claims action at your local court. It should be a short form indicating the damages, the entity you're suing, their agent of service, and a few other items. I'm fairly certain that within a week of filing suit, you will get a call from an apologetic Delta Air Lines rep who will ask you what they can do to make the lawsuit go away. Make sure that at this point you tack on the court fee for filing suit. And if not, you can have the fun experience of suing an airline and winning; you'll pretty much just need a copy of the contract of carriage, your tickets, the letter you sent, and your receipts / evidence. EDIT: And don't accept flight vouchers. They owe you a check.
| 0 | 45,289 | 1.020101 |
qp2x9z
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.97 |
[Ca] Delta Delayed my flight by two hours, then assumed I couldn't make my connection and gave my seat away to TWO different people and would not let me on though I arrived on time. Delta did everything in their power to keep me from getting there. My flight was delayed 2 hours, we were supposed to get in at the gate next to my other flight, but instead they dropped us on the tarmac and made us wait 10 minutes for a bus, then refused to speak to me at the front desk. I was meeting up with my girlfriend, and there were two men already there by the time i arrived who were fighting over MY seat, both had tix that they had gotten in the last hour. I made it and they wouldn't let me on! Now I wont get in until 7am the next day, and have to take a day off PTO. As a bonus, I also had medication in my packed bag I need to take tonight, but instead I'll be spending the next 6 hours sitting in a terminal. I've received no help or recourse-- do they owe me anything for literally giving my seat away when i was making it and they KNEW the delay was their fault? I'm mostly concerned about the PTO I'm going to be wasting now, but theres no way i can work tomorrow after flying all night, i can't sleep on planes, especially without my meds and in a middle seat with 2 strangers.
|
hjujeg3
|
hjuemnp
| 1,636,403,647 | 1,636,401,712 | 21 | 9 |
Its been almost a day, but I figured I’d at least offer my input. My dad is a senior captain for delta. I asked him what you should do, and this is the gist of it: You need to call Delta reservations or go to a Delta service desk, provide your ticket number, and explain what happened. They are obligated to provide you with a meal voucher and possibly a hotel room, depending on what time your next flight is. The biggest thing you need to bring up is that your seat was “seat duped”, and given to multiple people. Unfortunately though, if you arrived at the gate with less than 15 minutes to go before the door closes, it isn’t your seat anymore. The two people arguing over your ticket were likely “non revenue passengers”, or Delta employees who travel for free in open seats. The non-rev availability *does not override paying passengers* **until** that 15 minute window is reached, even though non-revs can “book” open seats up to around an hour before the flight. The gate agents won’t help you with re-booking, and iirc they’re unable to help you with missed connections or anything like that, by company policy (as my dad paraphrased).
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Always pack meds and other absolute necessities in your carry on. Always.
| 1 | 1,935 | 2.333333 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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haumb69
|
hau8mdg
| 1,630,271,362 | 1,630,265,458 | 2,747 | 228 |
Go ahead and get the ball rolling with CPS. The girls disclosed possible abuse. You or the father or both of you can call them.
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I cannot follow whose who. Sounds like kids ran away to their father who hasn't seen them in years and has no custody I assume. Dad should call a family attorney asap. If he has no custody this won't look good for him. If the children were being abused the father might want to call cps but should talk to an attorney first if possible
| 1 | 5,904 | 12.048246 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
|
haumb69
|
haum5re
| 1,630,271,362 | 1,630,271,295 | 2,747 | 55 |
Go ahead and get the ball rolling with CPS. The girls disclosed possible abuse. You or the father or both of you can call them.
|
inal i would say that you need to make a CPS report and have everything the girls told you in it. everything about the boyfriend's verbal abuse, threats of making it so they can't go to college, and the innapropriate touching. if this goes to court you will need evidence that the girls need to be with their dad, and you'll need all the help they can get since he's been absent after all this time. you mentioned he was getting sober, in a court case they might use his addiction against him if there's any evidence like arrests for a DUI or something. if he has graduated from a program that helped him work on sobriety it's a good time to get whatever certificates he got from doing that. above all else, dad needs to get a lawyer. if all else fails look into emancipated minor laws, the girls might try to emancipate themselves and live with their dad afterwards if all else fails.
| 1 | 67 | 49.945455 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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haumy7f
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hau8mdg
| 1,630,271,649 | 1,630,265,458 | 490 | 228 |
Not a lawyer- I think one of the things that needs to happen is to involve child protective services. It sounds like bf is a little too handsy and if the girls feel uncomfortable enough to say something to mom and then be ignored, someone else needs to be also looking out for girls best interest. Additionally, the CPS will most likely involve Dad and others that care for the girls and will determine the best place for them to be. If the girls tell CPS they are afraid of bf and mom blows them off, they may determine it is best to have the girls stay with someone else. The girls feeling the way they do about this man should be really listened to, and they should not go back there if they feel unsafe. This is tough, and I wish you the best.
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I cannot follow whose who. Sounds like kids ran away to their father who hasn't seen them in years and has no custody I assume. Dad should call a family attorney asap. If he has no custody this won't look good for him. If the children were being abused the father might want to call cps but should talk to an attorney first if possible
| 1 | 6,191 | 2.149123 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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haum5re
|
haumy7f
| 1,630,271,295 | 1,630,271,649 | 55 | 490 |
inal i would say that you need to make a CPS report and have everything the girls told you in it. everything about the boyfriend's verbal abuse, threats of making it so they can't go to college, and the innapropriate touching. if this goes to court you will need evidence that the girls need to be with their dad, and you'll need all the help they can get since he's been absent after all this time. you mentioned he was getting sober, in a court case they might use his addiction against him if there's any evidence like arrests for a DUI or something. if he has graduated from a program that helped him work on sobriety it's a good time to get whatever certificates he got from doing that. above all else, dad needs to get a lawyer. if all else fails look into emancipated minor laws, the girls might try to emancipate themselves and live with their dad afterwards if all else fails.
|
Not a lawyer- I think one of the things that needs to happen is to involve child protective services. It sounds like bf is a little too handsy and if the girls feel uncomfortable enough to say something to mom and then be ignored, someone else needs to be also looking out for girls best interest. Additionally, the CPS will most likely involve Dad and others that care for the girls and will determine the best place for them to be. If the girls tell CPS they are afraid of bf and mom blows them off, they may determine it is best to have the girls stay with someone else. The girls feeling the way they do about this man should be really listened to, and they should not go back there if they feel unsafe. This is tough, and I wish you the best.
| 0 | 354 | 8.909091 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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hau8mdg
|
haurfff
| 1,630,265,458 | 1,630,273,638 | 228 | 469 |
I cannot follow whose who. Sounds like kids ran away to their father who hasn't seen them in years and has no custody I assume. Dad should call a family attorney asap. If he has no custody this won't look good for him. If the children were being abused the father might want to call cps but should talk to an attorney first if possible
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First, Not a lawyer. Second, as a victim of abuse, absolutely call CPS immediately. This is grooming behavior from mom's BF. It will only get worse, especially since mom doesn't seem to care. Third, be the advocates these girls need, stand up for them however you need to to keep them safe. Consulting the attorney is a good start, but CPS needs to be brought in also. This is a sticky situation for everyone involved, but hopefully the law and luck will be on the side of these young ladies to put them out of harm's reach.
| 0 | 8,180 | 2.057018 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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haurfff
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haum5re
| 1,630,273,638 | 1,630,271,295 | 469 | 55 |
First, Not a lawyer. Second, as a victim of abuse, absolutely call CPS immediately. This is grooming behavior from mom's BF. It will only get worse, especially since mom doesn't seem to care. Third, be the advocates these girls need, stand up for them however you need to to keep them safe. Consulting the attorney is a good start, but CPS needs to be brought in also. This is a sticky situation for everyone involved, but hopefully the law and luck will be on the side of these young ladies to put them out of harm's reach.
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inal i would say that you need to make a CPS report and have everything the girls told you in it. everything about the boyfriend's verbal abuse, threats of making it so they can't go to college, and the innapropriate touching. if this goes to court you will need evidence that the girls need to be with their dad, and you'll need all the help they can get since he's been absent after all this time. you mentioned he was getting sober, in a court case they might use his addiction against him if there's any evidence like arrests for a DUI or something. if he has graduated from a program that helped him work on sobriety it's a good time to get whatever certificates he got from doing that. above all else, dad needs to get a lawyer. if all else fails look into emancipated minor laws, the girls might try to emancipate themselves and live with their dad afterwards if all else fails.
| 1 | 2,343 | 8.527273 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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haum5re
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hauuigt
| 1,630,271,295 | 1,630,275,020 | 55 | 216 |
inal i would say that you need to make a CPS report and have everything the girls told you in it. everything about the boyfriend's verbal abuse, threats of making it so they can't go to college, and the innapropriate touching. if this goes to court you will need evidence that the girls need to be with their dad, and you'll need all the help they can get since he's been absent after all this time. you mentioned he was getting sober, in a court case they might use his addiction against him if there's any evidence like arrests for a DUI or something. if he has graduated from a program that helped him work on sobriety it's a good time to get whatever certificates he got from doing that. above all else, dad needs to get a lawyer. if all else fails look into emancipated minor laws, the girls might try to emancipate themselves and live with their dad afterwards if all else fails.
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One thing to check as soon as possible-- Is this guy on probation? The reason this is relevant is that sexual abusers will often have a criminal history of doing this. This is important in two ways-- one, it helps build a case for CPS to take action and for the father to potentially get custody. And two, more importantly, if the guy is on probation for sexual crimes he may have a condition of probation that says he can't be near minors. If this is the case a call to his PO could get him away from the kids right quick. In most states you can check online or just call the county Corrections Department. I don't know how New York does it.
| 0 | 3,725 | 3.927273 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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havitd6
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hav8ydq
| 1,630,286,688 | 1,630,281,868 | 193 | 129 |
Not a lawyer, but CPS worker. Please contact the NY Child Abuse Hotline to report these concerns asap. Not contacting them will not exclude or even postpone CPS involvement; the police are required to cross report when a situation involves a child, so their initial contact with the girls after they ran away/arrived at dad's, etc. has likely already made it to the hotline. Please help them out by sharing what you know. They are available 24/7, the number is 800-342-3720. Editing to add that I saw after I posted this that you replied to someone else confirming you'll call in the morning. That's great news, thank you for doing what you're doing to keep the kids safe! :)
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Has anyone mentioned checking this person for past criminal convictions and if he is on sex abuse databases? You should do that.
| 1 | 4,820 | 1.496124 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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havhaxs
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havitd6
| 1,630,285,946 | 1,630,286,688 | 105 | 193 |
Not a lawyer, but a mandated reporter. This is one of the exact reasons for CPS to exist. Get in touch with them. Let them know what you're telling us here. - 1-800-342-3720 - hotline to report Here's the website if you don't feel like trusting a random Redditor - https://ocfs.ny.gov/programs/cps/ At the same time, I would recommend getting in touch with a family custody lawyer as soon as you're off the phone with CPS. Ask CPS if they have any recommendations but also look at the New York Bar webpage to get some names.
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Not a lawyer, but CPS worker. Please contact the NY Child Abuse Hotline to report these concerns asap. Not contacting them will not exclude or even postpone CPS involvement; the police are required to cross report when a situation involves a child, so their initial contact with the girls after they ran away/arrived at dad's, etc. has likely already made it to the hotline. Please help them out by sharing what you know. They are available 24/7, the number is 800-342-3720. Editing to add that I saw after I posted this that you replied to someone else confirming you'll call in the morning. That's great news, thank you for doing what you're doing to keep the kids safe! :)
| 0 | 742 | 1.838095 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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havitd6
|
hauywgc
| 1,630,286,688 | 1,630,277,024 | 193 | 53 |
Not a lawyer, but CPS worker. Please contact the NY Child Abuse Hotline to report these concerns asap. Not contacting them will not exclude or even postpone CPS involvement; the police are required to cross report when a situation involves a child, so their initial contact with the girls after they ran away/arrived at dad's, etc. has likely already made it to the hotline. Please help them out by sharing what you know. They are available 24/7, the number is 800-342-3720. Editing to add that I saw after I posted this that you replied to someone else confirming you'll call in the morning. That's great news, thank you for doing what you're doing to keep the kids safe! :)
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When this legal process starts up, request/buy a GAL on behalf of the girls. If CPS ends up involved, see if CASA is available and appropriate for the case.
| 1 | 9,664 | 3.641509 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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havitd6
|
haum5re
| 1,630,286,688 | 1,630,271,295 | 193 | 55 |
Not a lawyer, but CPS worker. Please contact the NY Child Abuse Hotline to report these concerns asap. Not contacting them will not exclude or even postpone CPS involvement; the police are required to cross report when a situation involves a child, so their initial contact with the girls after they ran away/arrived at dad's, etc. has likely already made it to the hotline. Please help them out by sharing what you know. They are available 24/7, the number is 800-342-3720. Editing to add that I saw after I posted this that you replied to someone else confirming you'll call in the morning. That's great news, thank you for doing what you're doing to keep the kids safe! :)
|
inal i would say that you need to make a CPS report and have everything the girls told you in it. everything about the boyfriend's verbal abuse, threats of making it so they can't go to college, and the innapropriate touching. if this goes to court you will need evidence that the girls need to be with their dad, and you'll need all the help they can get since he's been absent after all this time. you mentioned he was getting sober, in a court case they might use his addiction against him if there's any evidence like arrests for a DUI or something. if he has graduated from a program that helped him work on sobriety it's a good time to get whatever certificates he got from doing that. above all else, dad needs to get a lawyer. if all else fails look into emancipated minor laws, the girls might try to emancipate themselves and live with their dad afterwards if all else fails.
| 1 | 15,393 | 3.509091 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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havh8ln
|
havitd6
| 1,630,285,913 | 1,630,286,688 | 18 | 193 |
Not a lawyer obviously. Speaking from having gone through similar as a kid between my father and living with my mother. I am guessing there should be a course of action to peacefully handle this with minimum issues. What I'd be concerned about though is the "touchy" part. This may result in getting CPS involved and may even lead to appearing in a court. The issue here becomes the intimidation factor the bf might have if he's in the room and/or if the child sounds like they've been "coached" on what to say. The father of the kids might unfortunately run into issues depending what addictions he has on record because if it's drugs it will create a large hurdle to get over. I wish you the absolute best and the best for the children, if he is fit to take care of them and is willing I do honestly wish him the best of luck.
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Not a lawyer, but CPS worker. Please contact the NY Child Abuse Hotline to report these concerns asap. Not contacting them will not exclude or even postpone CPS involvement; the police are required to cross report when a situation involves a child, so their initial contact with the girls after they ran away/arrived at dad's, etc. has likely already made it to the hotline. Please help them out by sharing what you know. They are available 24/7, the number is 800-342-3720. Editing to add that I saw after I posted this that you replied to someone else confirming you'll call in the morning. That's great news, thank you for doing what you're doing to keep the kids safe! :)
| 0 | 775 | 10.722222 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
|
hav8ydq
|
hauywgc
| 1,630,281,868 | 1,630,277,024 | 129 | 53 |
Has anyone mentioned checking this person for past criminal convictions and if he is on sex abuse databases? You should do that.
|
When this legal process starts up, request/buy a GAL on behalf of the girls. If CPS ends up involved, see if CASA is available and appropriate for the case.
| 1 | 4,844 | 2.433962 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
|
haum5re
|
hav8ydq
| 1,630,271,295 | 1,630,281,868 | 55 | 129 |
inal i would say that you need to make a CPS report and have everything the girls told you in it. everything about the boyfriend's verbal abuse, threats of making it so they can't go to college, and the innapropriate touching. if this goes to court you will need evidence that the girls need to be with their dad, and you'll need all the help they can get since he's been absent after all this time. you mentioned he was getting sober, in a court case they might use his addiction against him if there's any evidence like arrests for a DUI or something. if he has graduated from a program that helped him work on sobriety it's a good time to get whatever certificates he got from doing that. above all else, dad needs to get a lawyer. if all else fails look into emancipated minor laws, the girls might try to emancipate themselves and live with their dad afterwards if all else fails.
|
Has anyone mentioned checking this person for past criminal convictions and if he is on sex abuse databases? You should do that.
| 0 | 10,573 | 2.345455 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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havhaxs
|
hauywgc
| 1,630,285,946 | 1,630,277,024 | 105 | 53 |
Not a lawyer, but a mandated reporter. This is one of the exact reasons for CPS to exist. Get in touch with them. Let them know what you're telling us here. - 1-800-342-3720 - hotline to report Here's the website if you don't feel like trusting a random Redditor - https://ocfs.ny.gov/programs/cps/ At the same time, I would recommend getting in touch with a family custody lawyer as soon as you're off the phone with CPS. Ask CPS if they have any recommendations but also look at the New York Bar webpage to get some names.
|
When this legal process starts up, request/buy a GAL on behalf of the girls. If CPS ends up involved, see if CASA is available and appropriate for the case.
| 1 | 8,922 | 1.981132 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
|
haum5re
|
havhaxs
| 1,630,271,295 | 1,630,285,946 | 55 | 105 |
inal i would say that you need to make a CPS report and have everything the girls told you in it. everything about the boyfriend's verbal abuse, threats of making it so they can't go to college, and the innapropriate touching. if this goes to court you will need evidence that the girls need to be with their dad, and you'll need all the help they can get since he's been absent after all this time. you mentioned he was getting sober, in a court case they might use his addiction against him if there's any evidence like arrests for a DUI or something. if he has graduated from a program that helped him work on sobriety it's a good time to get whatever certificates he got from doing that. above all else, dad needs to get a lawyer. if all else fails look into emancipated minor laws, the girls might try to emancipate themselves and live with their dad afterwards if all else fails.
|
Not a lawyer, but a mandated reporter. This is one of the exact reasons for CPS to exist. Get in touch with them. Let them know what you're telling us here. - 1-800-342-3720 - hotline to report Here's the website if you don't feel like trusting a random Redditor - https://ocfs.ny.gov/programs/cps/ At the same time, I would recommend getting in touch with a family custody lawyer as soon as you're off the phone with CPS. Ask CPS if they have any recommendations but also look at the New York Bar webpage to get some names.
| 0 | 14,651 | 1.909091 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
|
havh8ln
|
havhaxs
| 1,630,285,913 | 1,630,285,946 | 18 | 105 |
Not a lawyer obviously. Speaking from having gone through similar as a kid between my father and living with my mother. I am guessing there should be a course of action to peacefully handle this with minimum issues. What I'd be concerned about though is the "touchy" part. This may result in getting CPS involved and may even lead to appearing in a court. The issue here becomes the intimidation factor the bf might have if he's in the room and/or if the child sounds like they've been "coached" on what to say. The father of the kids might unfortunately run into issues depending what addictions he has on record because if it's drugs it will create a large hurdle to get over. I wish you the absolute best and the best for the children, if he is fit to take care of them and is willing I do honestly wish him the best of luck.
|
Not a lawyer, but a mandated reporter. This is one of the exact reasons for CPS to exist. Get in touch with them. Let them know what you're telling us here. - 1-800-342-3720 - hotline to report Here's the website if you don't feel like trusting a random Redditor - https://ocfs.ny.gov/programs/cps/ At the same time, I would recommend getting in touch with a family custody lawyer as soon as you're off the phone with CPS. Ask CPS if they have any recommendations but also look at the New York Bar webpage to get some names.
| 0 | 33 | 5.833333 |
pe1oht
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.98 |
[NY] Nieces (17 and 14) ran away from mom’s home to live with dad due to mom’s “creepy” boyfriend. Can we keep girls against their mom’s will? My husband got a call from his ex SIL last night saying that her two oldest daughters (17 and 14) had taken an uber with their cats and belongings to go stay with their dad (husband’s brother). The girls told their mom that they’re moving in with their dad because of their mom’s boyfriend. Husband’s brother had no idea until husband called to tell him. Husband’s brother and ex SIL had a bitter divorce and are not on speaking terms. Husband’s brother was also not in his daughters’ lives for 3 years while he dealt with his own mental/addiction issues. He has recently tried to make amends and repair his relationship with the girls, but still refuses to talk to or see their mom, so it’s usually us or husband’s mom that must mediate visits as the girls’ mom has full custody. After the girls showed up on their dad’s doorstep, their mom arrived soon after, cops got involved, and there was some arguing between the girls and their mom until we offered to have the girls stay the night with us. We try to stay on good terms with the girls’ mom to facilitate communication with the girls, so she accepted this over letting them stay with their dad on the condition we stay in constant contact with her. This morning, we asked the girls for specifics on what’s going on and they said that they are fed up with their mom’s boyfriend and he is always yelling at or berating them. They also said he is “creepy and touchy”. When we asked for specifics, they said he yells at them about not wearing bras. The oldest has mentioned moving out in the past and the mom’s bf threatened “I have lawyers little girl. I will ruin your life so you can’t ever go to college.” He seems to be the most aggressive and cruel to her. The 14-year-old appears to have the worst problems as she doesn’t work like the oldest and is around more. She said he forces hugs on her when she’s not wearing a bra even though she asks him to stop. When she brought this up to her mom, she got annoyed and told her that he’s just trying to bond with her. She said that he grabs her by the waist to move her out of the way even though there is ample room to go around her. Both girls say they don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own home and will stay in their rooms with their ears to the door to make sure they don’t hear him outside before they will leave the room. They both want to move in with their dad permanently, and their dad wants to take full custody of them. My husband and I said we need to talk to a lawyer and go about this carefully, but with their dad having been out of the picture for about three years, I’m not sure how much of a chance he has. We left a message with a lawyer and expect a call back tomorrow, but I expect we'll have to have a conversation with the girls' mom before then. We also want to discuss grandparent’s rights with the lawyer when we have the chance since husband’s mother has been involved with the girls all their lives and takes care of all their major expenses. The girls’ mom wanted to pick them up today, but we asked her to let the girls stay with us one more night and we can all talk tomorrow. We don’t want to force the girls to go back home with their mom knowing that they’re uncomfortable with their mom’s bf, but I’m not sure we can keep them against their mom’s will if she forces it. I guess what I want to know is, can we tell their mom that we won’t let the girls go back home while her boyfriend is in the same house? Or will this cause us more problems when husband’s brother/mother pursues custody later? The girls have one more younger sister with special needs who is in the house, so we are also concerned for her safety, but the girls make it sound like he doesn’t give her a problem really.
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havh8ln
|
havoxyh
| 1,630,285,913 | 1,630,289,700 | 18 | 23 |
Not a lawyer obviously. Speaking from having gone through similar as a kid between my father and living with my mother. I am guessing there should be a course of action to peacefully handle this with minimum issues. What I'd be concerned about though is the "touchy" part. This may result in getting CPS involved and may even lead to appearing in a court. The issue here becomes the intimidation factor the bf might have if he's in the room and/or if the child sounds like they've been "coached" on what to say. The father of the kids might unfortunately run into issues depending what addictions he has on record because if it's drugs it will create a large hurdle to get over. I wish you the absolute best and the best for the children, if he is fit to take care of them and is willing I do honestly wish him the best of luck.
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Not sure about NY laws, but at a certain age a judge will start to seriously consider the child's preference when choosing custody. If it goes to court, a judge will almost certainly grant full custody of the 17 yo to your husband's brother, the 14 year old could go either way. Some people have mentioned to call CPS, that's a great first step, contacting a lawyer was also a good move. Your husband's brother might have some hurtles to jump, I assume full custody was granted to the mother as a result of his drug issues being brought up. He might have difficulty proving he's clean and getting his life back together, but proving that is gonna be a good chunk of it. For now, to be able to legally withold the children from their mother is not possible until it is settled in court, or if CPS deems the mother's house an unsafe environment. Until one of those two things happens, if the mother demands her children back, you can't deny her. If you refuse to send the children back, it's possible you could face kidnapping charges. You've said you already contacted a lawyer, that's very good. Keep in mind, I am not a lawyer and it's entirely possible that laws are very different in NY than they are where I'm from. A lawyer should be able to help get it sorted out. Good luck.
| 0 | 3,787 | 1.277778 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
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ilyelyv
|
ilwo8yf
| 1,661,568,644 | 1,661,541,014 | 95 | 68 |
File for a divorce to protect yourself from husband returning to the residence. Plus get full custody with supervised visitation to prevent him from taking him to Dubai.
|
When doers his CR1 expire? While possible he can get back to the country he will be questioned at the POE by CBP. One thought comes to mind, If he lies to get a boarding foil, he will have to lie to CBP about losing his green card, you can reach out to CBP and maybe they can do something for you in regards to flag him for secondary and possibly detain him for lying to a immigration or customs official.
| 1 | 27,630 | 1.397059 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ilxfvkq
|
ilyelyv
| 1,661,552,303 | 1,661,568,644 | 46 | 95 |
Just because he is an asshole does not mean he is inadmissible to the country. He still has a valid visa. He can be denied entry if he has committed certain crimes, but not what you describe. Not your problem, let him deal with it. I think your focus should be talking with a divorce lawyer to protect yourself that way. Do not wait. They will help you with the marital assets and keep soon to be ex from spending everything else. Do this even if you are not 100% sure about divorce. You do not have to follow through to the end, but you already know you do not have much hope of anything else.
|
File for a divorce to protect yourself from husband returning to the residence. Plus get full custody with supervised visitation to prevent him from taking him to Dubai.
| 0 | 16,341 | 2.065217 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ily1uj2
|
ilyelyv
| 1,661,562,423 | 1,661,568,644 | 27 | 95 |
In addition to a divorce attorney, you should consult with am immigration attorney.
|
File for a divorce to protect yourself from husband returning to the residence. Plus get full custody with supervised visitation to prevent him from taking him to Dubai.
| 0 | 6,221 | 3.518519 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ilx6bzg
|
ilyelyv
| 1,661,548,304 | 1,661,568,644 | 22 | 95 |
Notify the Consular Fraud Section of both the Embassy in Pakistan and Dubai.
|
File for a divorce to protect yourself from husband returning to the residence. Plus get full custody with supervised visitation to prevent him from taking him to Dubai.
| 0 | 20,340 | 4.318182 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ilyelyv
|
ilwoyci
| 1,661,568,644 | 1,661,541,297 | 95 | 4 |
File for a divorce to protect yourself from husband returning to the residence. Plus get full custody with supervised visitation to prevent him from taking him to Dubai.
|
I do not know a whole lot about the topic, but I have a few questions that might change the legal outcome: * Were you legally married? Depending on the state(s) you lived in, this may not require a formal marriage, so those state(s) may be required to answer your question. * Did you file anything for a formal divorce? * Were the accounts purely in your name, or were they joint accounts? * Did you file any police reports beyond the restraining order? The state department does have procedures for him to replace his green card, as you can with any other official document. That said, a green card is typically considered abandoned if the holder leaves the United States for 6 months.
| 1 | 27,347 | 23.75 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ilx6bzg
|
ilxfvkq
| 1,661,548,304 | 1,661,552,303 | 22 | 46 |
Notify the Consular Fraud Section of both the Embassy in Pakistan and Dubai.
|
Just because he is an asshole does not mean he is inadmissible to the country. He still has a valid visa. He can be denied entry if he has committed certain crimes, but not what you describe. Not your problem, let him deal with it. I think your focus should be talking with a divorce lawyer to protect yourself that way. Do not wait. They will help you with the marital assets and keep soon to be ex from spending everything else. Do this even if you are not 100% sure about divorce. You do not have to follow through to the end, but you already know you do not have much hope of anything else.
| 0 | 3,999 | 2.090909 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ilwoyci
|
ilxfvkq
| 1,661,541,297 | 1,661,552,303 | 4 | 46 |
I do not know a whole lot about the topic, but I have a few questions that might change the legal outcome: * Were you legally married? Depending on the state(s) you lived in, this may not require a formal marriage, so those state(s) may be required to answer your question. * Did you file anything for a formal divorce? * Were the accounts purely in your name, or were they joint accounts? * Did you file any police reports beyond the restraining order? The state department does have procedures for him to replace his green card, as you can with any other official document. That said, a green card is typically considered abandoned if the holder leaves the United States for 6 months.
|
Just because he is an asshole does not mean he is inadmissible to the country. He still has a valid visa. He can be denied entry if he has committed certain crimes, but not what you describe. Not your problem, let him deal with it. I think your focus should be talking with a divorce lawyer to protect yourself that way. Do not wait. They will help you with the marital assets and keep soon to be ex from spending everything else. Do this even if you are not 100% sure about divorce. You do not have to follow through to the end, but you already know you do not have much hope of anything else.
| 0 | 11,006 | 11.5 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ilx6bzg
|
ily1uj2
| 1,661,548,304 | 1,661,562,423 | 22 | 27 |
Notify the Consular Fraud Section of both the Embassy in Pakistan and Dubai.
|
In addition to a divorce attorney, you should consult with am immigration attorney.
| 0 | 14,119 | 1.227273 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ilwoyci
|
ily1uj2
| 1,661,541,297 | 1,661,562,423 | 4 | 27 |
I do not know a whole lot about the topic, but I have a few questions that might change the legal outcome: * Were you legally married? Depending on the state(s) you lived in, this may not require a formal marriage, so those state(s) may be required to answer your question. * Did you file anything for a formal divorce? * Were the accounts purely in your name, or were they joint accounts? * Did you file any police reports beyond the restraining order? The state department does have procedures for him to replace his green card, as you can with any other official document. That said, a green card is typically considered abandoned if the holder leaves the United States for 6 months.
|
In addition to a divorce attorney, you should consult with am immigration attorney.
| 0 | 21,126 | 6.75 |
wygzqc
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.93 |
Husband ran away to his home country with 50k dollars of my savings and attempting to reenter USA. Is it possible when he threw his greencard at me before he ran off? About more than a month ago, my husband and I fought and he was pissed off and he packed his bags and ran out of the house. He threw his greencard at me (I sponsored him for his greencard and is still a Conditional resident). He wanted to prove to me that he did not marry me for the greencard. After about one day of no contact, I tried to find him and he wasn't responding to my texts. I found out he left his whatsapp chat, his email accounts logged in on my personal laptop which he uses the most as I use my work laptop. Turns out, he had booked a flight to his home country and was just landing there. I tried to have a mature conversation about our future but he kept deflecting and said he was teaching me a lesson. I apologized for saying mean things to him (specifically about how he was very cheap about things we needed to buy but extravagant with things we did not need). He said I hurt his ego so I apologized and I offered to mail his greencard to him so he can fly back to the US and stop this whole nonsense. He refused so I let it slide and waited til things cooled down. He said he would get a job in Dubai and then I could fly to him. And I said ok. Over the next few days I check his whatsapp and he was texting his previous coworkers in Dubai. He told them that I had kicked him out of the house, I took all his money, and I beat our son up. All of three were lies about me. And he said that to his previous coworkers to manipulate them into rehiring him back into the company or setting him up in some other related company. Some of his previous coworkers had a hard time believing his lies because they knew me as someone who was a nice and quiet girl. There were also no vacant positions they knew of. I also found a video of his sister burning my pictures while laughing. And I was so shocked and scared. I did not know what he could have lied to his family about me that would cause his sister to burn my pictures. Additionally I went through my bank account. My husband told me that he cod have easily took all of my money before he ran away but he did not because he loves me. So I went through my bank account which I rarely did since I was busy working full time and taking care of our newborn child, while my husband was unemployed. I knew my husband had access to my bank account. Turns out he had transferred close to 50 thousand dollars from my bank account to his bank account in Pakistan. This was done over a period of 6 months. I was aware he took some money from me for some investment properties but I did not know it was this large amount of money. I changed my passwords after that. I was pissed off that he spread those lies and took my money and invested in property that I don't have my name attached to. I confronted him about it and we fought some more. He tried to lowball the amount he actually took from me by saying it was only 25 k. I blocked him entirely. I gave up on the marriage. My trust in him was broken and I contacted a lawyer. But my parents told me to wait it out a little bit more because they don't like to rush things With additional digging I found out he was in debt for about 37 thousand dollars for some other investment. Recently, my husband told me that he has been trying to come back to the USA and find a job. My guess is whatever money he had is running out and he needs to pay off his debts. My family says it's not safe to go back to him and might hurt me. I've filed a restraining order against him. I have also tipped USCIS about him. However his greencard is with me but I heard there is a way to reenter if he claims his greencard is stolen at the embassy in Pakistan. And they will issue him a boarding foil. Suppose he tries to reenter the US with this foil, will he succeed in passing through immigration even though I filed restraining order against him? What other options do I do to protect me and my son while I start the process of my divorce?
|
ilx6bzg
|
ilwoyci
| 1,661,548,304 | 1,661,541,297 | 22 | 4 |
Notify the Consular Fraud Section of both the Embassy in Pakistan and Dubai.
|
I do not know a whole lot about the topic, but I have a few questions that might change the legal outcome: * Were you legally married? Depending on the state(s) you lived in, this may not require a formal marriage, so those state(s) may be required to answer your question. * Did you file anything for a formal divorce? * Were the accounts purely in your name, or were they joint accounts? * Did you file any police reports beyond the restraining order? The state department does have procedures for him to replace his green card, as you can with any other official document. That said, a green card is typically considered abandoned if the holder leaves the United States for 6 months.
| 1 | 7,007 | 5.5 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cuk7w64
|
cuka6ps
| 1,440,892,345 | 1,440,896,735 | 7 | 16 |
Question: if the house were eventually sold to pay this debt, would all the money from the sale go to pay that insurance claim against the father, or would it just be half since the house is jointly owned by the mother and father?
|
IamaL but not in MI. The answer to your question depends on how the title to the house is held. If both your mom and dad's names are on the title (that is real common), hypothetically, if there is a judgement for the injured person from a court and if your dad did not pay, the winning plaintiff could try and get your dad's share of the ownership. That i not likely to happen because your dad could file bankruptcy based on a judgement that he has no money to pay. In bankruptcy court, the primary residence does not have to be sold off to pay creditors. There are a couple of points though. Although I am not a MI lawyer, when someone files a lawsuit, they have to serve the defendant ( person they have sued) with the papers. At the beginning of the case, the papers have to be served in person, not mail. This is a complicated area that will be governed by MI law. You don't usually have to hand them to the person but the papers do have to be handed to an adult living at the defendant's usual address. That has not happened- yet. A lawyer who takes a case and files the lawsuit looks at 2 things: whether he can prove his case and whether there is any money to pay his client if he wins. Lawyers don't work for free. Injury lawyers get a percentage of teh money they collect. If there is no money to be collected (like you dad) lawyers won't waste a lot of time. They will pursue the suit just in case your dad has hidden assets or wins the lottery though. Your mom needs a lawyer. She can call her car insurance company and maybe even her homeowners insurance company if she has one. They may be able to help her even if they are not paying. If not, Legal Aid or the legal clinics at the local law schools can help. Those are often free and are supervised by licensed attorneys.Google law schools in teh Detroit area and look at their website or call eh general number asking for the legal clinic. She shouldn't ignore this even though your dad is the bad guy. It is not as urgent or as bad for you and her based on what you have written here but she does need a lawyer. That is all very far down teh line
| 0 | 4,390 | 2.285714 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cukladt
|
cuk7w64
| 1,440,924,775 | 1,440,892,345 | 13 | 7 |
First I need to say this: You are 16 and your father and mother have just put you into an adult matter. Specifically your father, your mother seems to have no other choice in this but she is making the choice to not divorce an abusive person and get you and your sister away from this. But her disability makes it almost impossible to do that, so I see why you're involved. You are scared as hell, and that's okay. Kids who can't control what is happening to them and yet need to deal with it like adults, like you are trying to do, is scary. The FIRST thing you need to do is realize that this is something your mother needs to solve, not you. You are an older teen and should be aware of what is happening but not involved. This is your mother's problem, not yours. What YOU AND YOUR SISTER need to worry about is 1. Getting to school every day 2. Doing your homework, getting good grades 3. Getting maybe a 10 hour a week part time job to save money for college. 4. Planning your future. 5. Watching out for your little sister so she is protected from all of this adult stuff more than you are being protected from it. That is IT. What your mother needs to do is 1. Divorce that financially, verbally, emotionally abusive person that is bringing your family down. My mother was married to one as well. She divorced him. Life got better. She is now remarried to a man whom loves her and he's rather well off. They have a gorgeous home and 3 cars. 2. She needs to take care of this stuff herself by finding out options that are out there, including getting her husband arrested, charged, put in jail where he deserves to be, and putting as much of the blame on him, where it belongs. And keeping it off of herself and you all as much as possible (You have done nothing wrong, but your mom needs to make sure that she doesn't have to be paying for your father's mistakes....she needs to be putting money towards your college educations and keeping a roof over your heads) 3. She needs to get a job, if she doesn't already have one. Wheelchair users can get jobs. She needs to take you both out of that home and into a shelter for abused women and children. Will you be homeless? Yes. Does homeless mean "living on the street in squalor"? Nope. Shelters exist for that reason, however Detriot is a hard city. You may wish to think about moving back to Alaska. I repeat again. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT. This is NOT something that you should be helping with, financially or otherwise. This is something your MOTHER needs to do. Not you. Your mother is the adult here and needs to be one and do what is best for her two children, which is get them out of abusive situations.
|
Question: if the house were eventually sold to pay this debt, would all the money from the sale go to pay that insurance claim against the father, or would it just be half since the house is jointly owned by the mother and father?
| 1 | 32,430 | 1.857143 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cukk8xe
|
cukladt
| 1,440,920,592 | 1,440,924,775 | 4 | 13 |
The best thing your mother can do is file for divorce right away.
|
First I need to say this: You are 16 and your father and mother have just put you into an adult matter. Specifically your father, your mother seems to have no other choice in this but she is making the choice to not divorce an abusive person and get you and your sister away from this. But her disability makes it almost impossible to do that, so I see why you're involved. You are scared as hell, and that's okay. Kids who can't control what is happening to them and yet need to deal with it like adults, like you are trying to do, is scary. The FIRST thing you need to do is realize that this is something your mother needs to solve, not you. You are an older teen and should be aware of what is happening but not involved. This is your mother's problem, not yours. What YOU AND YOUR SISTER need to worry about is 1. Getting to school every day 2. Doing your homework, getting good grades 3. Getting maybe a 10 hour a week part time job to save money for college. 4. Planning your future. 5. Watching out for your little sister so she is protected from all of this adult stuff more than you are being protected from it. That is IT. What your mother needs to do is 1. Divorce that financially, verbally, emotionally abusive person that is bringing your family down. My mother was married to one as well. She divorced him. Life got better. She is now remarried to a man whom loves her and he's rather well off. They have a gorgeous home and 3 cars. 2. She needs to take care of this stuff herself by finding out options that are out there, including getting her husband arrested, charged, put in jail where he deserves to be, and putting as much of the blame on him, where it belongs. And keeping it off of herself and you all as much as possible (You have done nothing wrong, but your mom needs to make sure that she doesn't have to be paying for your father's mistakes....she needs to be putting money towards your college educations and keeping a roof over your heads) 3. She needs to get a job, if she doesn't already have one. Wheelchair users can get jobs. She needs to take you both out of that home and into a shelter for abused women and children. Will you be homeless? Yes. Does homeless mean "living on the street in squalor"? Nope. Shelters exist for that reason, however Detriot is a hard city. You may wish to think about moving back to Alaska. I repeat again. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT. This is NOT something that you should be helping with, financially or otherwise. This is something your MOTHER needs to do. Not you. Your mother is the adult here and needs to be one and do what is best for her two children, which is get them out of abusive situations.
| 0 | 4,183 | 3.25 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cukean8
|
cukladt
| 1,440,904,903 | 1,440,924,775 | 2 | 13 |
You should call or talk to this organization. Only if it is safe for you to do so though. They help families of domestic violence. I am not sure if they would be able to help in your case but it is worth a try. http://www.thehotline.org/help/
|
First I need to say this: You are 16 and your father and mother have just put you into an adult matter. Specifically your father, your mother seems to have no other choice in this but she is making the choice to not divorce an abusive person and get you and your sister away from this. But her disability makes it almost impossible to do that, so I see why you're involved. You are scared as hell, and that's okay. Kids who can't control what is happening to them and yet need to deal with it like adults, like you are trying to do, is scary. The FIRST thing you need to do is realize that this is something your mother needs to solve, not you. You are an older teen and should be aware of what is happening but not involved. This is your mother's problem, not yours. What YOU AND YOUR SISTER need to worry about is 1. Getting to school every day 2. Doing your homework, getting good grades 3. Getting maybe a 10 hour a week part time job to save money for college. 4. Planning your future. 5. Watching out for your little sister so she is protected from all of this adult stuff more than you are being protected from it. That is IT. What your mother needs to do is 1. Divorce that financially, verbally, emotionally abusive person that is bringing your family down. My mother was married to one as well. She divorced him. Life got better. She is now remarried to a man whom loves her and he's rather well off. They have a gorgeous home and 3 cars. 2. She needs to take care of this stuff herself by finding out options that are out there, including getting her husband arrested, charged, put in jail where he deserves to be, and putting as much of the blame on him, where it belongs. And keeping it off of herself and you all as much as possible (You have done nothing wrong, but your mom needs to make sure that she doesn't have to be paying for your father's mistakes....she needs to be putting money towards your college educations and keeping a roof over your heads) 3. She needs to get a job, if she doesn't already have one. Wheelchair users can get jobs. She needs to take you both out of that home and into a shelter for abused women and children. Will you be homeless? Yes. Does homeless mean "living on the street in squalor"? Nope. Shelters exist for that reason, however Detriot is a hard city. You may wish to think about moving back to Alaska. I repeat again. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT. This is NOT something that you should be helping with, financially or otherwise. This is something your MOTHER needs to do. Not you. Your mother is the adult here and needs to be one and do what is best for her two children, which is get them out of abusive situations.
| 0 | 19,872 | 6.5 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cukfmcs
|
cukladt
| 1,440,907,701 | 1,440,924,775 | 2 | 13 |
In most states, if you have to declare bankruptcy, you are allowed to keep certain "necessities of life", which may include a house, or a certain amount of equity in a house. I don't know the rules in Michigan, but you may be allowed to keep your house, or keep some money to move into a smaller house. This is assuming that they pursue the lawsuit and it is successful. In some cases, their own insurance company will find it easier to pay for the damages themselves than to bother suing someone who doesn't have many assets.
|
First I need to say this: You are 16 and your father and mother have just put you into an adult matter. Specifically your father, your mother seems to have no other choice in this but she is making the choice to not divorce an abusive person and get you and your sister away from this. But her disability makes it almost impossible to do that, so I see why you're involved. You are scared as hell, and that's okay. Kids who can't control what is happening to them and yet need to deal with it like adults, like you are trying to do, is scary. The FIRST thing you need to do is realize that this is something your mother needs to solve, not you. You are an older teen and should be aware of what is happening but not involved. This is your mother's problem, not yours. What YOU AND YOUR SISTER need to worry about is 1. Getting to school every day 2. Doing your homework, getting good grades 3. Getting maybe a 10 hour a week part time job to save money for college. 4. Planning your future. 5. Watching out for your little sister so she is protected from all of this adult stuff more than you are being protected from it. That is IT. What your mother needs to do is 1. Divorce that financially, verbally, emotionally abusive person that is bringing your family down. My mother was married to one as well. She divorced him. Life got better. She is now remarried to a man whom loves her and he's rather well off. They have a gorgeous home and 3 cars. 2. She needs to take care of this stuff herself by finding out options that are out there, including getting her husband arrested, charged, put in jail where he deserves to be, and putting as much of the blame on him, where it belongs. And keeping it off of herself and you all as much as possible (You have done nothing wrong, but your mom needs to make sure that she doesn't have to be paying for your father's mistakes....she needs to be putting money towards your college educations and keeping a roof over your heads) 3. She needs to get a job, if she doesn't already have one. Wheelchair users can get jobs. She needs to take you both out of that home and into a shelter for abused women and children. Will you be homeless? Yes. Does homeless mean "living on the street in squalor"? Nope. Shelters exist for that reason, however Detriot is a hard city. You may wish to think about moving back to Alaska. I repeat again. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT. This is NOT something that you should be helping with, financially or otherwise. This is something your MOTHER needs to do. Not you. Your mother is the adult here and needs to be one and do what is best for her two children, which is get them out of abusive situations.
| 0 | 17,074 | 6.5 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cukladt
|
cukj4f3
| 1,440,924,775 | 1,440,916,712 | 13 | 2 |
First I need to say this: You are 16 and your father and mother have just put you into an adult matter. Specifically your father, your mother seems to have no other choice in this but she is making the choice to not divorce an abusive person and get you and your sister away from this. But her disability makes it almost impossible to do that, so I see why you're involved. You are scared as hell, and that's okay. Kids who can't control what is happening to them and yet need to deal with it like adults, like you are trying to do, is scary. The FIRST thing you need to do is realize that this is something your mother needs to solve, not you. You are an older teen and should be aware of what is happening but not involved. This is your mother's problem, not yours. What YOU AND YOUR SISTER need to worry about is 1. Getting to school every day 2. Doing your homework, getting good grades 3. Getting maybe a 10 hour a week part time job to save money for college. 4. Planning your future. 5. Watching out for your little sister so she is protected from all of this adult stuff more than you are being protected from it. That is IT. What your mother needs to do is 1. Divorce that financially, verbally, emotionally abusive person that is bringing your family down. My mother was married to one as well. She divorced him. Life got better. She is now remarried to a man whom loves her and he's rather well off. They have a gorgeous home and 3 cars. 2. She needs to take care of this stuff herself by finding out options that are out there, including getting her husband arrested, charged, put in jail where he deserves to be, and putting as much of the blame on him, where it belongs. And keeping it off of herself and you all as much as possible (You have done nothing wrong, but your mom needs to make sure that she doesn't have to be paying for your father's mistakes....she needs to be putting money towards your college educations and keeping a roof over your heads) 3. She needs to get a job, if she doesn't already have one. Wheelchair users can get jobs. She needs to take you both out of that home and into a shelter for abused women and children. Will you be homeless? Yes. Does homeless mean "living on the street in squalor"? Nope. Shelters exist for that reason, however Detriot is a hard city. You may wish to think about moving back to Alaska. I repeat again. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT. This is NOT something that you should be helping with, financially or otherwise. This is something your MOTHER needs to do. Not you. Your mother is the adult here and needs to be one and do what is best for her two children, which is get them out of abusive situations.
|
You say that they are suing him for $300,000 for medical compensation? Do you mean medical bills? Because Michigan is a no-fault state and they have to go through their own insurance company for medical bills. Are they suing him for negligently operating his vehicle? If so, it's very strange that they put a specific number on it. I've never seen that before. Read the complaint carefully. What exactly are they suing him for?
| 1 | 8,063 | 6.5 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cukean8
|
cukk8xe
| 1,440,904,903 | 1,440,920,592 | 2 | 4 |
You should call or talk to this organization. Only if it is safe for you to do so though. They help families of domestic violence. I am not sure if they would be able to help in your case but it is worth a try. http://www.thehotline.org/help/
|
The best thing your mother can do is file for divorce right away.
| 0 | 15,689 | 2 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cukk8xe
|
cukfmcs
| 1,440,920,592 | 1,440,907,701 | 4 | 2 |
The best thing your mother can do is file for divorce right away.
|
In most states, if you have to declare bankruptcy, you are allowed to keep certain "necessities of life", which may include a house, or a certain amount of equity in a house. I don't know the rules in Michigan, but you may be allowed to keep your house, or keep some money to move into a smaller house. This is assuming that they pursue the lawsuit and it is successful. In some cases, their own insurance company will find it easier to pay for the damages themselves than to bother suing someone who doesn't have many assets.
| 1 | 12,891 | 2 |
3ivqbd
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.9 |
I'm 16.My alcoholic abusive father crashed his car drunkenly into another car and then ran away somewhere 2 weeks ago. He critically injured 2 persons in this accident. My mother received a lawsuit from them. We have no money. Will the court kick us from house and sell it? I live with my mother and younger sister in Detroit, MI. My father had no insurance. Even though he is my father, I really hate him from depth of my heart. Because he used to come home drunk and then keep yelling at us and puking everywhere. Then in drunken state he used to punch me and my mother. He was also fired from his job due to alcohol abuse. He has wasted all of his savings in alcohol. The sole reason I and my mother is living with him is because we have nowhere else to go. So, 2 weeks ago, he was driving his car drunkenly and crashed into another car. In this accident he critically injured a couple who was driving the opposite car. They received multiple fractures. My father received just some scratched and bruises. He ran away from the place and came home. He packed some of his things and ran away to some unknown place. He told us "he is keepin' low". Now, from license plate police find out our home and came here looking for him. He asked for insurance details, but my father was stupid enough to not insure the car. So, they declared him missing and he is in wanted list I think. Now, the real problem, the attorney hired by those couple has filed a lawsuit against my father and we received the papers 3 days ago by mail. He has asked for medical compensation of $300,000. Now, the thing is my father has no savings, no job, no property. The car is already totaled. However, The home we are living in, is jointly owned by my mother and my father. Names of both are on title. That's it. Nothing else is there to give. Would court kick me, my 3 years old sister and my mother out of home and sell us for debt? Will we be homeless? We even have no money to hire an attorney. What do we do? Would court give us a lawyer from their side? There are still no whereabouts of my father, nor any communication from him. What a shitty person. Not even with family in the time of trouble, caused by him.
|
cukj4f3
|
cukk8xe
| 1,440,916,712 | 1,440,920,592 | 2 | 4 |
You say that they are suing him for $300,000 for medical compensation? Do you mean medical bills? Because Michigan is a no-fault state and they have to go through their own insurance company for medical bills. Are they suing him for negligently operating his vehicle? If so, it's very strange that they put a specific number on it. I've never seen that before. Read the complaint carefully. What exactly are they suing him for?
|
The best thing your mother can do is file for divorce right away.
| 0 | 3,880 | 2 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1i694a
|
e1hdicq
| 1,530,288,474 | 1,530,247,810 | 2,429 | 1,812 |
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
|
> I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. You don't have to babysit or support the baby. Your daughter is almost certainly entitled to public benefits (WIC, food stamps, Medicaid, etc.), as will the baby be when it is born. Your daughter will also be entitled to receive cash child support from the father, once paternity is established.
| 1 | 40,664 | 1.340508 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hcy2e
|
e1i694a
| 1,530,247,055 | 1,530,288,474 | 1,759 | 2,429 |
No, you cannot force her to give the chid up for adoption. You are not required to babysit the child or raise the child though. You can refuse to help her. Edit: Also, after looking at your past post you could try to escalate the statutory rape issue since your daughter is under 14 however, the warning the police gave you that she could in fact be charged with creating or distributing CP may not be a bluff.
|
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
| 0 | 41,419 | 1.380898 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hdgfu
|
e1i694a
| 1,530,247,739 | 1,530,288,474 | 1,110 | 2,429 |
I don't think your daughter is making the best decision, but I also don't think she's trying to destroy your life or your marriage. She's a thirteen-year-old girl in a situation that plenty of grown adults panic about. That being said...You have an obligation to raise your daughter until she turns eighteen. You have no such obligation to your grandchild, nor are you obligated to provide any assistance to your daughter in doing so. You can't just throw your daughter out, but you would likely be able to send her to live with a relative, if someone else in your family is willing. You also have no legal way to force her to give the baby up for adoption, nor can CPS unless she is proven to be an unfit mother. Places like Planned Parenthood should have options counseling, where they go over each of your options for a pregnancy and discuss pros and cons. Perhaps this would be helpful for your daughter? Regular counseling might be helpful as well.
|
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
| 0 | 40,735 | 2.188288 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1i694a
|
e1hmx3c
| 1,530,288,474 | 1,530,264,725 | 2,429 | 600 |
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
|
While filing charges against the 16 yr old might give you a vent for your anger at this situation, I would like to point out this might be against your best interest. This young man will be paying child support for the next 18 yrs and that's a lot harder to do when you can't find employment due to a criminal record. It would benefit everyone in this situation more if you helped this father to be find a job to help pay child support, and helped both of them get educated on pregnancy and raising a child. The more tools you give them to handle this crisis, the less likely you will be to have to foot any bills or become a babysitter.
| 1 | 23,749 | 4.048333 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1i694a
|
e1houta
| 1,530,288,474 | 1,530,268,836 | 2,429 | 366 |
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
|
You cannot force an adoption. At your child's age you are still responsible for her needs. She has resources available, such as WIC, and food stamps and such. What you need to do is educate her. Reach out to an adoption agency and at least talk her into an appointment to explore options. Open adoption and such. At her age she cannot consent to sex and she views the act as a sign of love from her boyfriend. She believes the child is an anchor which will bond her and her boyfriend. Please convince her otherwise; get her into therapy so she can work through the emotional roller coaster she is about to embark on. Once she sees her BF retreating and pulling away (which most 16 year old boys will do) she may change her mind. Consider borrowing a friend's baby and have her watch him for a few hours and hammer into her the full time responsibilities. Good luck
| 1 | 19,638 | 6.636612 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hqhac
|
e1i694a
| 1,530,271,817 | 1,530,288,474 | 334 | 2,429 |
She 13 and told you she’s pregnant. Go to the doctor with her and confirm that she’s actually pregnant. She may be in a panic, have a late period, and be jumping to conclusions. If she is pregnant, she needs prenatal care ASAP. If not, she needs birth control which the doctor can advise you/her about.
|
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
| 0 | 16,657 | 7.272455 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hqah0
|
e1i694a
| 1,530,271,495 | 1,530,288,474 | 280 | 2,429 |
You can’t force abortion or adoption. Possibly look into counseling for your entire family? Look into programs like WIC, Medicaid, SNAP, etc. Those should help with the financial aspect. Our schools here have a program where the kids can attend and their babies are in a daycare situation, on site, for half the day. They go to school for half the day and then learn parenting skills and life skills for the other half of the day. Also, when my cousins 13 year old had a baby, CPS became involved. Not 100% sure that will happen to you, but just be prepared for that.
|
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
| 0 | 16,979 | 8.675 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hsm1e
|
e1i694a
| 1,530,275,042 | 1,530,288,474 | 217 | 2,429 |
What about the young man's parents? Have you spoken to them - how do they feel about this? Would they be willing/able to take in your daughter and grandchild once it's born?
|
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
| 0 | 13,432 | 11.193548 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
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e1hde2m
|
e1i694a
| 1,530,247,649 | 1,530,288,474 | 202 | 2,429 |
You cannot force her to abort or give up for adoption her child. You are also required to provide support to your child until she is either 18 or emancipated. However, you are not required to support your unborn grandchild. I would suggest taking your daughter to receive more options and information concerning minor pregnancy. Iowa has a program which is outlined here.
|
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
| 0 | 40,825 | 12.024752 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
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e1hmv31
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e1i694a
| 1,530,264,603 | 1,530,288,474 | 194 | 2,429 |
I am curious how OP having only legal obligation to care for the child but not grandchild actually works in real life? I mean it seems to me that not ensuring proper care of all minors in a household, i.e. providing food, diapers, clean living environment, etc could arguably put OP at risk of criminal child neglect charges. Not a lawyer
|
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
| 0 | 23,871 | 12.520619 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
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e1i694a
|
e1hndg0
| 1,530,288,474 | 1,530,265,721 | 2,429 | 100 |
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
|
No one has mentioned it yet, but Iowa - like most states - has a safe haven law. Instead of a specific adoption a parent can surrender an infant under 14 days old to the hospital. The state will take care of the adoption process. I know your daughter has said she wants to raise the kid herself, but there is no way she does that without help from her parents.
| 1 | 22,753 | 24.29 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1i694a
|
e1hfqly
| 1,530,288,474 | 1,530,251,006 | 2,429 | 79 |
I want to expand on some things that have been said by various others. While you can not force your daughter to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption... You CAN force her to attend everything from counselor meetings and parenting classes. There is no reason she should be uneducated on any of this. If she really wants to keep this baby she needs to know the morbid reality of what that entails. * Her school will likely separate her from her peers in an effort to minimize bullying. * Babies are not cheap. she needs to know what she is giving up. * Statistics on how many people think a baby will save a relationship * It needs to be 100% clear to her that you will not be providing for this baby... in time or money... which means finding a job also means finding a babysitter. (throw in some babysitter horror stories) * Getting an education while also working through school AND taking care of a kid is near-impossible. she will end up giving 1 of these things up... most likely education. * There is no way to force boyfriend or his family to partake in any of this. * Child support isn't guaranteed.. you can't get blood from a stone. * Every single risk of carrying a baby to term at her age * Every test, STD, Baby health, all of them. especially the humiliating ones. * Free parenting class at the local YMCA? guess who's going! * Birthdays? Christmas? Buy shit the baby will need. The baby is more important. (i know you said you can't/won't provide. this is to make sure she knows that she also comes second to the baby in every single decision she makes) * Planned parenthood has lots of free classes and counseling....make a schedule. * Find out which places hire 14 year olds in your area... She needs to get used to not having any free time. * do you have a friend or family with a baby? They've got a new babysitter until she gives birth. Not feeling up to it or pregnancy pains are child's play considering she will never get to take a day off from kids again.
|
> If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? Depending on your CPS system and CPS worker, it is possible that CPS will provide some counseling, education, and help accessing public assistance resources and child support enforcement. If the situation is dire enough (and I hope for everyone's sake it does not come to that), CPS may take the pregnant child and her child into foster care, which is not necessarily a way to avoid financial responsibility. CPS will not force abortion or adoption.
| 1 | 37,468 | 30.746835 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
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e1hdicq
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e1hcy2e
| 1,530,247,810 | 1,530,247,055 | 1,812 | 1,759 |
> I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. You don't have to babysit or support the baby. Your daughter is almost certainly entitled to public benefits (WIC, food stamps, Medicaid, etc.), as will the baby be when it is born. Your daughter will also be entitled to receive cash child support from the father, once paternity is established.
|
No, you cannot force her to give the chid up for adoption. You are not required to babysit the child or raise the child though. You can refuse to help her. Edit: Also, after looking at your past post you could try to escalate the statutory rape issue since your daughter is under 14 however, the warning the police gave you that she could in fact be charged with creating or distributing CP may not be a bluff.
| 1 | 755 | 1.030131 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
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e1hdicq
|
e1hdgfu
| 1,530,247,810 | 1,530,247,739 | 1,812 | 1,110 |
> I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. You don't have to babysit or support the baby. Your daughter is almost certainly entitled to public benefits (WIC, food stamps, Medicaid, etc.), as will the baby be when it is born. Your daughter will also be entitled to receive cash child support from the father, once paternity is established.
|
I don't think your daughter is making the best decision, but I also don't think she's trying to destroy your life or your marriage. She's a thirteen-year-old girl in a situation that plenty of grown adults panic about. That being said...You have an obligation to raise your daughter until she turns eighteen. You have no such obligation to your grandchild, nor are you obligated to provide any assistance to your daughter in doing so. You can't just throw your daughter out, but you would likely be able to send her to live with a relative, if someone else in your family is willing. You also have no legal way to force her to give the baby up for adoption, nor can CPS unless she is proven to be an unfit mother. Places like Planned Parenthood should have options counseling, where they go over each of your options for a pregnancy and discuss pros and cons. Perhaps this would be helpful for your daughter? Regular counseling might be helpful as well.
| 1 | 71 | 1.632432 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hde2m
|
e1hdicq
| 1,530,247,649 | 1,530,247,810 | 202 | 1,812 |
You cannot force her to abort or give up for adoption her child. You are also required to provide support to your child until she is either 18 or emancipated. However, you are not required to support your unborn grandchild. I would suggest taking your daughter to receive more options and information concerning minor pregnancy. Iowa has a program which is outlined here.
|
> I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. You don't have to babysit or support the baby. Your daughter is almost certainly entitled to public benefits (WIC, food stamps, Medicaid, etc.), as will the baby be when it is born. Your daughter will also be entitled to receive cash child support from the father, once paternity is established.
| 0 | 161 | 8.970297 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hde2m
|
e1hdgfu
| 1,530,247,649 | 1,530,247,739 | 202 | 1,110 |
You cannot force her to abort or give up for adoption her child. You are also required to provide support to your child until she is either 18 or emancipated. However, you are not required to support your unborn grandchild. I would suggest taking your daughter to receive more options and information concerning minor pregnancy. Iowa has a program which is outlined here.
|
I don't think your daughter is making the best decision, but I also don't think she's trying to destroy your life or your marriage. She's a thirteen-year-old girl in a situation that plenty of grown adults panic about. That being said...You have an obligation to raise your daughter until she turns eighteen. You have no such obligation to your grandchild, nor are you obligated to provide any assistance to your daughter in doing so. You can't just throw your daughter out, but you would likely be able to send her to live with a relative, if someone else in your family is willing. You also have no legal way to force her to give the baby up for adoption, nor can CPS unless she is proven to be an unfit mother. Places like Planned Parenthood should have options counseling, where they go over each of your options for a pregnancy and discuss pros and cons. Perhaps this would be helpful for your daughter? Regular counseling might be helpful as well.
| 0 | 90 | 5.49505 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
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e1hde2m
|
e1hmx3c
| 1,530,247,649 | 1,530,264,725 | 202 | 600 |
You cannot force her to abort or give up for adoption her child. You are also required to provide support to your child until she is either 18 or emancipated. However, you are not required to support your unborn grandchild. I would suggest taking your daughter to receive more options and information concerning minor pregnancy. Iowa has a program which is outlined here.
|
While filing charges against the 16 yr old might give you a vent for your anger at this situation, I would like to point out this might be against your best interest. This young man will be paying child support for the next 18 yrs and that's a lot harder to do when you can't find employment due to a criminal record. It would benefit everyone in this situation more if you helped this father to be find a job to help pay child support, and helped both of them get educated on pregnancy and raising a child. The more tools you give them to handle this crisis, the less likely you will be to have to foot any bills or become a babysitter.
| 0 | 17,076 | 2.970297 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hmx3c
|
e1hmv31
| 1,530,264,725 | 1,530,264,603 | 600 | 194 |
While filing charges against the 16 yr old might give you a vent for your anger at this situation, I would like to point out this might be against your best interest. This young man will be paying child support for the next 18 yrs and that's a lot harder to do when you can't find employment due to a criminal record. It would benefit everyone in this situation more if you helped this father to be find a job to help pay child support, and helped both of them get educated on pregnancy and raising a child. The more tools you give them to handle this crisis, the less likely you will be to have to foot any bills or become a babysitter.
|
I am curious how OP having only legal obligation to care for the child but not grandchild actually works in real life? I mean it seems to me that not ensuring proper care of all minors in a household, i.e. providing food, diapers, clean living environment, etc could arguably put OP at risk of criminal child neglect charges. Not a lawyer
| 1 | 122 | 3.092784 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hmx3c
|
e1hfqly
| 1,530,264,725 | 1,530,251,006 | 600 | 79 |
While filing charges against the 16 yr old might give you a vent for your anger at this situation, I would like to point out this might be against your best interest. This young man will be paying child support for the next 18 yrs and that's a lot harder to do when you can't find employment due to a criminal record. It would benefit everyone in this situation more if you helped this father to be find a job to help pay child support, and helped both of them get educated on pregnancy and raising a child. The more tools you give them to handle this crisis, the less likely you will be to have to foot any bills or become a babysitter.
|
> If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? Depending on your CPS system and CPS worker, it is possible that CPS will provide some counseling, education, and help accessing public assistance resources and child support enforcement. If the situation is dire enough (and I hope for everyone's sake it does not come to that), CPS may take the pregnant child and her child into foster care, which is not necessarily a way to avoid financial responsibility. CPS will not force abortion or adoption.
| 1 | 13,719 | 7.594937 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hde2m
|
e1houta
| 1,530,247,649 | 1,530,268,836 | 202 | 366 |
You cannot force her to abort or give up for adoption her child. You are also required to provide support to your child until she is either 18 or emancipated. However, you are not required to support your unborn grandchild. I would suggest taking your daughter to receive more options and information concerning minor pregnancy. Iowa has a program which is outlined here.
|
You cannot force an adoption. At your child's age you are still responsible for her needs. She has resources available, such as WIC, and food stamps and such. What you need to do is educate her. Reach out to an adoption agency and at least talk her into an appointment to explore options. Open adoption and such. At her age she cannot consent to sex and she views the act as a sign of love from her boyfriend. She believes the child is an anchor which will bond her and her boyfriend. Please convince her otherwise; get her into therapy so she can work through the emotional roller coaster she is about to embark on. Once she sees her BF retreating and pulling away (which most 16 year old boys will do) she may change her mind. Consider borrowing a friend's baby and have her watch him for a few hours and hammer into her the full time responsibilities. Good luck
| 0 | 21,187 | 1.811881 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1houta
|
e1hmv31
| 1,530,268,836 | 1,530,264,603 | 366 | 194 |
You cannot force an adoption. At your child's age you are still responsible for her needs. She has resources available, such as WIC, and food stamps and such. What you need to do is educate her. Reach out to an adoption agency and at least talk her into an appointment to explore options. Open adoption and such. At her age she cannot consent to sex and she views the act as a sign of love from her boyfriend. She believes the child is an anchor which will bond her and her boyfriend. Please convince her otherwise; get her into therapy so she can work through the emotional roller coaster she is about to embark on. Once she sees her BF retreating and pulling away (which most 16 year old boys will do) she may change her mind. Consider borrowing a friend's baby and have her watch him for a few hours and hammer into her the full time responsibilities. Good luck
|
I am curious how OP having only legal obligation to care for the child but not grandchild actually works in real life? I mean it seems to me that not ensuring proper care of all minors in a household, i.e. providing food, diapers, clean living environment, etc could arguably put OP at risk of criminal child neglect charges. Not a lawyer
| 1 | 4,233 | 1.886598 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hndg0
|
e1houta
| 1,530,265,721 | 1,530,268,836 | 100 | 366 |
No one has mentioned it yet, but Iowa - like most states - has a safe haven law. Instead of a specific adoption a parent can surrender an infant under 14 days old to the hospital. The state will take care of the adoption process. I know your daughter has said she wants to raise the kid herself, but there is no way she does that without help from her parents.
|
You cannot force an adoption. At your child's age you are still responsible for her needs. She has resources available, such as WIC, and food stamps and such. What you need to do is educate her. Reach out to an adoption agency and at least talk her into an appointment to explore options. Open adoption and such. At her age she cannot consent to sex and she views the act as a sign of love from her boyfriend. She believes the child is an anchor which will bond her and her boyfriend. Please convince her otherwise; get her into therapy so she can work through the emotional roller coaster she is about to embark on. Once she sees her BF retreating and pulling away (which most 16 year old boys will do) she may change her mind. Consider borrowing a friend's baby and have her watch him for a few hours and hammer into her the full time responsibilities. Good luck
| 0 | 3,115 | 3.66 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hfqly
|
e1houta
| 1,530,251,006 | 1,530,268,836 | 79 | 366 |
> If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? Depending on your CPS system and CPS worker, it is possible that CPS will provide some counseling, education, and help accessing public assistance resources and child support enforcement. If the situation is dire enough (and I hope for everyone's sake it does not come to that), CPS may take the pregnant child and her child into foster care, which is not necessarily a way to avoid financial responsibility. CPS will not force abortion or adoption.
|
You cannot force an adoption. At your child's age you are still responsible for her needs. She has resources available, such as WIC, and food stamps and such. What you need to do is educate her. Reach out to an adoption agency and at least talk her into an appointment to explore options. Open adoption and such. At her age she cannot consent to sex and she views the act as a sign of love from her boyfriend. She believes the child is an anchor which will bond her and her boyfriend. Please convince her otherwise; get her into therapy so she can work through the emotional roller coaster she is about to embark on. Once she sees her BF retreating and pulling away (which most 16 year old boys will do) she may change her mind. Consider borrowing a friend's baby and have her watch him for a few hours and hammer into her the full time responsibilities. Good luck
| 0 | 17,830 | 4.632911 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hqah0
|
e1hqhac
| 1,530,271,495 | 1,530,271,817 | 280 | 334 |
You can’t force abortion or adoption. Possibly look into counseling for your entire family? Look into programs like WIC, Medicaid, SNAP, etc. Those should help with the financial aspect. Our schools here have a program where the kids can attend and their babies are in a daycare situation, on site, for half the day. They go to school for half the day and then learn parenting skills and life skills for the other half of the day. Also, when my cousins 13 year old had a baby, CPS became involved. Not 100% sure that will happen to you, but just be prepared for that.
|
She 13 and told you she’s pregnant. Go to the doctor with her and confirm that she’s actually pregnant. She may be in a panic, have a late period, and be jumping to conclusions. If she is pregnant, she needs prenatal care ASAP. If not, she needs birth control which the doctor can advise you/her about.
| 0 | 322 | 1.192857 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hqhac
|
e1hde2m
| 1,530,271,817 | 1,530,247,649 | 334 | 202 |
She 13 and told you she’s pregnant. Go to the doctor with her and confirm that she’s actually pregnant. She may be in a panic, have a late period, and be jumping to conclusions. If she is pregnant, she needs prenatal care ASAP. If not, she needs birth control which the doctor can advise you/her about.
|
You cannot force her to abort or give up for adoption her child. You are also required to provide support to your child until she is either 18 or emancipated. However, you are not required to support your unborn grandchild. I would suggest taking your daughter to receive more options and information concerning minor pregnancy. Iowa has a program which is outlined here.
| 1 | 24,168 | 1.653465 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hqhac
|
e1hmv31
| 1,530,271,817 | 1,530,264,603 | 334 | 194 |
She 13 and told you she’s pregnant. Go to the doctor with her and confirm that she’s actually pregnant. She may be in a panic, have a late period, and be jumping to conclusions. If she is pregnant, she needs prenatal care ASAP. If not, she needs birth control which the doctor can advise you/her about.
|
I am curious how OP having only legal obligation to care for the child but not grandchild actually works in real life? I mean it seems to me that not ensuring proper care of all minors in a household, i.e. providing food, diapers, clean living environment, etc could arguably put OP at risk of criminal child neglect charges. Not a lawyer
| 1 | 7,214 | 1.721649 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hndg0
|
e1hqhac
| 1,530,265,721 | 1,530,271,817 | 100 | 334 |
No one has mentioned it yet, but Iowa - like most states - has a safe haven law. Instead of a specific adoption a parent can surrender an infant under 14 days old to the hospital. The state will take care of the adoption process. I know your daughter has said she wants to raise the kid herself, but there is no way she does that without help from her parents.
|
She 13 and told you she’s pregnant. Go to the doctor with her and confirm that she’s actually pregnant. She may be in a panic, have a late period, and be jumping to conclusions. If she is pregnant, she needs prenatal care ASAP. If not, she needs birth control which the doctor can advise you/her about.
| 0 | 6,096 | 3.34 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hqhac
|
e1hfqly
| 1,530,271,817 | 1,530,251,006 | 334 | 79 |
She 13 and told you she’s pregnant. Go to the doctor with her and confirm that she’s actually pregnant. She may be in a panic, have a late period, and be jumping to conclusions. If she is pregnant, she needs prenatal care ASAP. If not, she needs birth control which the doctor can advise you/her about.
|
> If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? Depending on your CPS system and CPS worker, it is possible that CPS will provide some counseling, education, and help accessing public assistance resources and child support enforcement. If the situation is dire enough (and I hope for everyone's sake it does not come to that), CPS may take the pregnant child and her child into foster care, which is not necessarily a way to avoid financial responsibility. CPS will not force abortion or adoption.
| 1 | 20,811 | 4.227848 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hqah0
|
e1hde2m
| 1,530,271,495 | 1,530,247,649 | 280 | 202 |
You can’t force abortion or adoption. Possibly look into counseling for your entire family? Look into programs like WIC, Medicaid, SNAP, etc. Those should help with the financial aspect. Our schools here have a program where the kids can attend and their babies are in a daycare situation, on site, for half the day. They go to school for half the day and then learn parenting skills and life skills for the other half of the day. Also, when my cousins 13 year old had a baby, CPS became involved. Not 100% sure that will happen to you, but just be prepared for that.
|
You cannot force her to abort or give up for adoption her child. You are also required to provide support to your child until she is either 18 or emancipated. However, you are not required to support your unborn grandchild. I would suggest taking your daughter to receive more options and information concerning minor pregnancy. Iowa has a program which is outlined here.
| 1 | 23,846 | 1.386139 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hmv31
|
e1hqah0
| 1,530,264,603 | 1,530,271,495 | 194 | 280 |
I am curious how OP having only legal obligation to care for the child but not grandchild actually works in real life? I mean it seems to me that not ensuring proper care of all minors in a household, i.e. providing food, diapers, clean living environment, etc could arguably put OP at risk of criminal child neglect charges. Not a lawyer
|
You can’t force abortion or adoption. Possibly look into counseling for your entire family? Look into programs like WIC, Medicaid, SNAP, etc. Those should help with the financial aspect. Our schools here have a program where the kids can attend and their babies are in a daycare situation, on site, for half the day. They go to school for half the day and then learn parenting skills and life skills for the other half of the day. Also, when my cousins 13 year old had a baby, CPS became involved. Not 100% sure that will happen to you, but just be prepared for that.
| 0 | 6,892 | 1.443299 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hqah0
|
e1hndg0
| 1,530,271,495 | 1,530,265,721 | 280 | 100 |
You can’t force abortion or adoption. Possibly look into counseling for your entire family? Look into programs like WIC, Medicaid, SNAP, etc. Those should help with the financial aspect. Our schools here have a program where the kids can attend and their babies are in a daycare situation, on site, for half the day. They go to school for half the day and then learn parenting skills and life skills for the other half of the day. Also, when my cousins 13 year old had a baby, CPS became involved. Not 100% sure that will happen to you, but just be prepared for that.
|
No one has mentioned it yet, but Iowa - like most states - has a safe haven law. Instead of a specific adoption a parent can surrender an infant under 14 days old to the hospital. The state will take care of the adoption process. I know your daughter has said she wants to raise the kid herself, but there is no way she does that without help from her parents.
| 1 | 5,774 | 2.8 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hfqly
|
e1hqah0
| 1,530,251,006 | 1,530,271,495 | 79 | 280 |
> If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? Depending on your CPS system and CPS worker, it is possible that CPS will provide some counseling, education, and help accessing public assistance resources and child support enforcement. If the situation is dire enough (and I hope for everyone's sake it does not come to that), CPS may take the pregnant child and her child into foster care, which is not necessarily a way to avoid financial responsibility. CPS will not force abortion or adoption.
|
You can’t force abortion or adoption. Possibly look into counseling for your entire family? Look into programs like WIC, Medicaid, SNAP, etc. Those should help with the financial aspect. Our schools here have a program where the kids can attend and their babies are in a daycare situation, on site, for half the day. They go to school for half the day and then learn parenting skills and life skills for the other half of the day. Also, when my cousins 13 year old had a baby, CPS became involved. Not 100% sure that will happen to you, but just be prepared for that.
| 0 | 20,489 | 3.544304 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hsm1e
|
e1hde2m
| 1,530,275,042 | 1,530,247,649 | 217 | 202 |
What about the young man's parents? Have you spoken to them - how do they feel about this? Would they be willing/able to take in your daughter and grandchild once it's born?
|
You cannot force her to abort or give up for adoption her child. You are also required to provide support to your child until she is either 18 or emancipated. However, you are not required to support your unborn grandchild. I would suggest taking your daughter to receive more options and information concerning minor pregnancy. Iowa has a program which is outlined here.
| 1 | 27,393 | 1.074257 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hmv31
|
e1hsm1e
| 1,530,264,603 | 1,530,275,042 | 194 | 217 |
I am curious how OP having only legal obligation to care for the child but not grandchild actually works in real life? I mean it seems to me that not ensuring proper care of all minors in a household, i.e. providing food, diapers, clean living environment, etc could arguably put OP at risk of criminal child neglect charges. Not a lawyer
|
What about the young man's parents? Have you spoken to them - how do they feel about this? Would they be willing/able to take in your daughter and grandchild once it's born?
| 0 | 10,439 | 1.118557 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hsm1e
|
e1hndg0
| 1,530,275,042 | 1,530,265,721 | 217 | 100 |
What about the young man's parents? Have you spoken to them - how do they feel about this? Would they be willing/able to take in your daughter and grandchild once it's born?
|
No one has mentioned it yet, but Iowa - like most states - has a safe haven law. Instead of a specific adoption a parent can surrender an infant under 14 days old to the hospital. The state will take care of the adoption process. I know your daughter has said she wants to raise the kid herself, but there is no way she does that without help from her parents.
| 1 | 9,321 | 2.17 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hsm1e
|
e1hfqly
| 1,530,275,042 | 1,530,251,006 | 217 | 79 |
What about the young man's parents? Have you spoken to them - how do they feel about this? Would they be willing/able to take in your daughter and grandchild once it's born?
|
> If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? Depending on your CPS system and CPS worker, it is possible that CPS will provide some counseling, education, and help accessing public assistance resources and child support enforcement. If the situation is dire enough (and I hope for everyone's sake it does not come to that), CPS may take the pregnant child and her child into foster care, which is not necessarily a way to avoid financial responsibility. CPS will not force abortion or adoption.
| 1 | 24,036 | 2.746835 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hmv31
|
e1hfqly
| 1,530,264,603 | 1,530,251,006 | 194 | 79 |
I am curious how OP having only legal obligation to care for the child but not grandchild actually works in real life? I mean it seems to me that not ensuring proper care of all minors in a household, i.e. providing food, diapers, clean living environment, etc could arguably put OP at risk of criminal child neglect charges. Not a lawyer
|
> If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? Depending on your CPS system and CPS worker, it is possible that CPS will provide some counseling, education, and help accessing public assistance resources and child support enforcement. If the situation is dire enough (and I hope for everyone's sake it does not come to that), CPS may take the pregnant child and her child into foster care, which is not necessarily a way to avoid financial responsibility. CPS will not force abortion or adoption.
| 1 | 13,597 | 2.455696 |
8uqcf9
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.91 |
My 13 year old daughter is pregnant and I need to know my legal options I live in Iowa. This morning my 13 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. My life has been just a blurry whirlwind ever since. I’ve already contacted the police (the father is 16) and they’ve declined to arrest him or charge him with anything as in our state there is a close in age clause that my daughter is just a 3 months short of falling under and they’ve assed there was “no real crime”. Which is a whole other thing I plan on pressing with higher authorities. What I need to know now is what are *my* options? My daughter absolutely refuses to get an abortion and won’t even discuss adoption. She’s made it clear she fully intends to birth this child and I have no f-ing clue what to do. I myself don’t believe in abortions and I’ve passed my values along to my daughter as well, but I definitely believe that adoption is the only good option in this situation. My marriage will not survive something like this and we absolutely can not afford to take care of another baby. I just can’t. If I could, this would be another story but I can’t make money appear out of thin air. We’re barely making our mortgage and car payment as it is and we’re living paycheck to paycheck. My husband was in an accident at the begging of the year and our savings have been entirely drained. I just can’t imagine my daughter can just force us into poverty and gift us a child against our wishes. Is there any way shape or form that my husband and I could compel her to give her baby up for adoption? I know it might sound heartless but can I make her live elsewhere? I just can’t do this. My husband and I work full time and there’s no way either of us could babysit for her. I just don’t see how I’m expected to foot the bill and raise this child and destroy my marriage and livelihood in the process. I know my daughter is 13 and they are selfish by nature sometimes, but I just can’t believe my daughter would force this on us despite all of my pleas. If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? I love my daughter very much but I’m at the end of my rope and would even support her through an abortion, or adoption, or whatever, but we cannot and will not raise a baby we had no say in creating. Are there ANY legal options we have?
|
e1hndg0
|
e1hfqly
| 1,530,265,721 | 1,530,251,006 | 100 | 79 |
No one has mentioned it yet, but Iowa - like most states - has a safe haven law. Instead of a specific adoption a parent can surrender an infant under 14 days old to the hospital. The state will take care of the adoption process. I know your daughter has said she wants to raise the kid herself, but there is no way she does that without help from her parents.
|
> If I call CPS, what kind of intervention could they provide? Depending on your CPS system and CPS worker, it is possible that CPS will provide some counseling, education, and help accessing public assistance resources and child support enforcement. If the situation is dire enough (and I hope for everyone's sake it does not come to that), CPS may take the pregnant child and her child into foster care, which is not necessarily a way to avoid financial responsibility. CPS will not force abortion or adoption.
| 1 | 14,715 | 1.265823 |
5nlbjr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[Michigan] My dad died and the only will that has been found is 30 years old and doesn't include me in it. How do I make sure I get a share of the inheritance? Hello, 4 days ago on January 8th my father passed away. I just turned 18 this month, and I am in high school. My dad and mother have been divorced for years and my father never remarried. Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets and we learned that he had over $500,000 in different banks accounts and investment accounts (not including his home and car). We were able to get into his safety deposit box and find a will he wrote in the late 80's before I was born that only explicitly mentions my three older sisters (from his first marriage) and one of my Uncles, who I will refer to as "John" in this post, as his heirs. This will also names my uncle "George" as the will's trustee. I'm afraid that my half sisters will use this will to cut me out of the inheritance. My uncle "John" (Uncle who is included in the old will) told me that my dad came up with a more recent will that splits his money 25% with my sisters and I, but we cannot find it, and there is no proof that it exists other than my uncle's word. I don't really know what steps I need to take to get a fair share of my Dad's money. I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer ,but my uncle "George" (who is included on the old will from the 80's as trustee) told me he would speak to a lawyer regarding the estate. Any advice you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you
|
dcckl49
|
dccfqnl
| 1,484,257,295 | 1,484,251,932 | 86 | 39 |
> I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer You're looking at inheriting over $100k. Go meet with some lawyers.
|
See MCL 700.2302. Subsection (1)(b)(ii) says that an after-born child (such as you) gets an equal share with all the other children. There are caveats and conditions, but that's the general idea.
| 1 | 5,363 | 2.205128 |
5nlbjr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[Michigan] My dad died and the only will that has been found is 30 years old and doesn't include me in it. How do I make sure I get a share of the inheritance? Hello, 4 days ago on January 8th my father passed away. I just turned 18 this month, and I am in high school. My dad and mother have been divorced for years and my father never remarried. Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets and we learned that he had over $500,000 in different banks accounts and investment accounts (not including his home and car). We were able to get into his safety deposit box and find a will he wrote in the late 80's before I was born that only explicitly mentions my three older sisters (from his first marriage) and one of my Uncles, who I will refer to as "John" in this post, as his heirs. This will also names my uncle "George" as the will's trustee. I'm afraid that my half sisters will use this will to cut me out of the inheritance. My uncle "John" (Uncle who is included in the old will) told me that my dad came up with a more recent will that splits his money 25% with my sisters and I, but we cannot find it, and there is no proof that it exists other than my uncle's word. I don't really know what steps I need to take to get a fair share of my Dad's money. I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer ,but my uncle "George" (who is included on the old will from the 80's as trustee) told me he would speak to a lawyer regarding the estate. Any advice you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you
|
dcckl49
|
dccfsw1
| 1,484,257,295 | 1,484,252,002 | 86 | 13 |
> I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer You're looking at inheriting over $100k. Go meet with some lawyers.
|
Have you asked your mother if there was a new will or codicil to the old will drafted after you were born? Maybe there was something in the divorce agreement. Was there a clause in the will for after born children? If none of these, you can contest the will. You (well your attorney) can make a very good argument that since all your father's then existing children were in the will that it is logical that you would have been too if you had been around back then. Also, it is possible that the records of the original firm still exist in a different firm, including a copy of the will (and possible newer will or codicil). You can try checking that line out.
| 1 | 5,293 | 6.615385 |
5nlbjr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[Michigan] My dad died and the only will that has been found is 30 years old and doesn't include me in it. How do I make sure I get a share of the inheritance? Hello, 4 days ago on January 8th my father passed away. I just turned 18 this month, and I am in high school. My dad and mother have been divorced for years and my father never remarried. Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets and we learned that he had over $500,000 in different banks accounts and investment accounts (not including his home and car). We were able to get into his safety deposit box and find a will he wrote in the late 80's before I was born that only explicitly mentions my three older sisters (from his first marriage) and one of my Uncles, who I will refer to as "John" in this post, as his heirs. This will also names my uncle "George" as the will's trustee. I'm afraid that my half sisters will use this will to cut me out of the inheritance. My uncle "John" (Uncle who is included in the old will) told me that my dad came up with a more recent will that splits his money 25% with my sisters and I, but we cannot find it, and there is no proof that it exists other than my uncle's word. I don't really know what steps I need to take to get a fair share of my Dad's money. I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer ,but my uncle "George" (who is included on the old will from the 80's as trustee) told me he would speak to a lawyer regarding the estate. Any advice you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you
|
dcd2pw6
|
dccfqnl
| 1,484,280,859 | 1,484,251,932 | 45 | 39 |
Other people have given you advice about your share of the estate. But no one has mentioned one glaring red flag from your post yet: > Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets STOP RIGHT THERE. The family cannot just divide out his assets. That shouldn't happen for MONTHS yet, possibly over a year. Whoever is the executor of his will can't distribute his assets until they go through probate, determine what his debts are and pay them, file his taxes, etc.
|
See MCL 700.2302. Subsection (1)(b)(ii) says that an after-born child (such as you) gets an equal share with all the other children. There are caveats and conditions, but that's the general idea.
| 1 | 28,927 | 1.153846 |
5nlbjr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[Michigan] My dad died and the only will that has been found is 30 years old and doesn't include me in it. How do I make sure I get a share of the inheritance? Hello, 4 days ago on January 8th my father passed away. I just turned 18 this month, and I am in high school. My dad and mother have been divorced for years and my father never remarried. Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets and we learned that he had over $500,000 in different banks accounts and investment accounts (not including his home and car). We were able to get into his safety deposit box and find a will he wrote in the late 80's before I was born that only explicitly mentions my three older sisters (from his first marriage) and one of my Uncles, who I will refer to as "John" in this post, as his heirs. This will also names my uncle "George" as the will's trustee. I'm afraid that my half sisters will use this will to cut me out of the inheritance. My uncle "John" (Uncle who is included in the old will) told me that my dad came up with a more recent will that splits his money 25% with my sisters and I, but we cannot find it, and there is no proof that it exists other than my uncle's word. I don't really know what steps I need to take to get a fair share of my Dad's money. I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer ,but my uncle "George" (who is included on the old will from the 80's as trustee) told me he would speak to a lawyer regarding the estate. Any advice you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you
|
dcd2pw6
|
dccrjds
| 1,484,280,859 | 1,484,265,726 | 45 | 15 |
Other people have given you advice about your share of the estate. But no one has mentioned one glaring red flag from your post yet: > Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets STOP RIGHT THERE. The family cannot just divide out his assets. That shouldn't happen for MONTHS yet, possibly over a year. Whoever is the executor of his will can't distribute his assets until they go through probate, determine what his debts are and pay them, file his taxes, etc.
|
Pretermitted heir. Get an attorney.
| 1 | 15,133 | 3 |
5nlbjr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[Michigan] My dad died and the only will that has been found is 30 years old and doesn't include me in it. How do I make sure I get a share of the inheritance? Hello, 4 days ago on January 8th my father passed away. I just turned 18 this month, and I am in high school. My dad and mother have been divorced for years and my father never remarried. Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets and we learned that he had over $500,000 in different banks accounts and investment accounts (not including his home and car). We were able to get into his safety deposit box and find a will he wrote in the late 80's before I was born that only explicitly mentions my three older sisters (from his first marriage) and one of my Uncles, who I will refer to as "John" in this post, as his heirs. This will also names my uncle "George" as the will's trustee. I'm afraid that my half sisters will use this will to cut me out of the inheritance. My uncle "John" (Uncle who is included in the old will) told me that my dad came up with a more recent will that splits his money 25% with my sisters and I, but we cannot find it, and there is no proof that it exists other than my uncle's word. I don't really know what steps I need to take to get a fair share of my Dad's money. I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer ,but my uncle "George" (who is included on the old will from the 80's as trustee) told me he would speak to a lawyer regarding the estate. Any advice you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you
|
dcd2pw6
|
dccfsw1
| 1,484,280,859 | 1,484,252,002 | 45 | 13 |
Other people have given you advice about your share of the estate. But no one has mentioned one glaring red flag from your post yet: > Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets STOP RIGHT THERE. The family cannot just divide out his assets. That shouldn't happen for MONTHS yet, possibly over a year. Whoever is the executor of his will can't distribute his assets until they go through probate, determine what his debts are and pay them, file his taxes, etc.
|
Have you asked your mother if there was a new will or codicil to the old will drafted after you were born? Maybe there was something in the divorce agreement. Was there a clause in the will for after born children? If none of these, you can contest the will. You (well your attorney) can make a very good argument that since all your father's then existing children were in the will that it is logical that you would have been too if you had been around back then. Also, it is possible that the records of the original firm still exist in a different firm, including a copy of the will (and possible newer will or codicil). You can try checking that line out.
| 1 | 28,857 | 3.461538 |
5nlbjr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[Michigan] My dad died and the only will that has been found is 30 years old and doesn't include me in it. How do I make sure I get a share of the inheritance? Hello, 4 days ago on January 8th my father passed away. I just turned 18 this month, and I am in high school. My dad and mother have been divorced for years and my father never remarried. Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets and we learned that he had over $500,000 in different banks accounts and investment accounts (not including his home and car). We were able to get into his safety deposit box and find a will he wrote in the late 80's before I was born that only explicitly mentions my three older sisters (from his first marriage) and one of my Uncles, who I will refer to as "John" in this post, as his heirs. This will also names my uncle "George" as the will's trustee. I'm afraid that my half sisters will use this will to cut me out of the inheritance. My uncle "John" (Uncle who is included in the old will) told me that my dad came up with a more recent will that splits his money 25% with my sisters and I, but we cannot find it, and there is no proof that it exists other than my uncle's word. I don't really know what steps I need to take to get a fair share of my Dad's money. I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer ,but my uncle "George" (who is included on the old will from the 80's as trustee) told me he would speak to a lawyer regarding the estate. Any advice you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you
|
dccva91
|
dcd2pw6
| 1,484,270,774 | 1,484,280,859 | 12 | 45 |
> I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer Many lawyers will either work on contingency or accept a payment plan. Go talk to a probate lawyer. *You* need a lawyer representing *you.* Having your uncle talk to one is not sufficient.
|
Other people have given you advice about your share of the estate. But no one has mentioned one glaring red flag from your post yet: > Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets STOP RIGHT THERE. The family cannot just divide out his assets. That shouldn't happen for MONTHS yet, possibly over a year. Whoever is the executor of his will can't distribute his assets until they go through probate, determine what his debts are and pay them, file his taxes, etc.
| 0 | 10,085 | 3.75 |
5nlbjr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[Michigan] My dad died and the only will that has been found is 30 years old and doesn't include me in it. How do I make sure I get a share of the inheritance? Hello, 4 days ago on January 8th my father passed away. I just turned 18 this month, and I am in high school. My dad and mother have been divorced for years and my father never remarried. Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets and we learned that he had over $500,000 in different banks accounts and investment accounts (not including his home and car). We were able to get into his safety deposit box and find a will he wrote in the late 80's before I was born that only explicitly mentions my three older sisters (from his first marriage) and one of my Uncles, who I will refer to as "John" in this post, as his heirs. This will also names my uncle "George" as the will's trustee. I'm afraid that my half sisters will use this will to cut me out of the inheritance. My uncle "John" (Uncle who is included in the old will) told me that my dad came up with a more recent will that splits his money 25% with my sisters and I, but we cannot find it, and there is no proof that it exists other than my uncle's word. I don't really know what steps I need to take to get a fair share of my Dad's money. I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer ,but my uncle "George" (who is included on the old will from the 80's as trustee) told me he would speak to a lawyer regarding the estate. Any advice you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you
|
dcd2pw6
|
dcd2g9v
| 1,484,280,859 | 1,484,280,471 | 45 | 4 |
Other people have given you advice about your share of the estate. But no one has mentioned one glaring red flag from your post yet: > Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets STOP RIGHT THERE. The family cannot just divide out his assets. That shouldn't happen for MONTHS yet, possibly over a year. Whoever is the executor of his will can't distribute his assets until they go through probate, determine what his debts are and pay them, file his taxes, etc.
|
I'm sorry for your loss. I think there's a good chance a lawyer would take your case and let you pay the lawyer from the recovery. Or borrow money from someone to hire a lawyer. Do not attempt to make a claim without a lawyer. I'd also say try to be nice to your three sisters, as it will be up to them whether they fight your claim which will reduce their share.
| 1 | 388 | 11.25 |
5nlbjr
|
legaladvice_train
| 0.85 |
[Michigan] My dad died and the only will that has been found is 30 years old and doesn't include me in it. How do I make sure I get a share of the inheritance? Hello, 4 days ago on January 8th my father passed away. I just turned 18 this month, and I am in high school. My dad and mother have been divorced for years and my father never remarried. Yesterday my family and I started the process of dividing out his assets and we learned that he had over $500,000 in different banks accounts and investment accounts (not including his home and car). We were able to get into his safety deposit box and find a will he wrote in the late 80's before I was born that only explicitly mentions my three older sisters (from his first marriage) and one of my Uncles, who I will refer to as "John" in this post, as his heirs. This will also names my uncle "George" as the will's trustee. I'm afraid that my half sisters will use this will to cut me out of the inheritance. My uncle "John" (Uncle who is included in the old will) told me that my dad came up with a more recent will that splits his money 25% with my sisters and I, but we cannot find it, and there is no proof that it exists other than my uncle's word. I don't really know what steps I need to take to get a fair share of my Dad's money. I currently don't have money to hire a lawyer ,but my uncle "George" (who is included on the old will from the 80's as trustee) told me he would speak to a lawyer regarding the estate. Any advice you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you
|
dccfsw1
|
dccrjds
| 1,484,252,002 | 1,484,265,726 | 13 | 15 |
Have you asked your mother if there was a new will or codicil to the old will drafted after you were born? Maybe there was something in the divorce agreement. Was there a clause in the will for after born children? If none of these, you can contest the will. You (well your attorney) can make a very good argument that since all your father's then existing children were in the will that it is logical that you would have been too if you had been around back then. Also, it is possible that the records of the original firm still exist in a different firm, including a copy of the will (and possible newer will or codicil). You can try checking that line out.
|
Pretermitted heir. Get an attorney.
| 0 | 13,724 | 1.153846 |
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