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’ I do nt even work here . I’m just waiting for my friends .’ newline’ Are you kidding me ?’ newline’ Yeah . < I do nt really have friends .. > < will you be my friend ?’ >
will you be my friend ?’
I do nt really have friends ..
C
3_43402
’ I thought < it was an abortion clinic > < but it was actually a KFC .’ >
but it was actually a KFC .’
it was an abortion clinic
D
3_43461
< i think > i m one of few people < that can keeeep smokin > and not have to stop cuz’ i m too high’
that can keeeep smokin
i think
N
3_43464
I ca n’t tell if my parents are critical of my long hair < because it looks girly > or because my hairline is receding , < either way > they offer to shave my head no problem every morning
either way
because it looks girly
N
3_43500
The’ Mother’s Curse’ is something like : < You’ll have children JUST LIKE YOU . > But it went awry . I have a son like my brother . < So not fair . >
So not fair .
You’ll have children JUST LIKE YOU .
C
3_43525
The’ Mother’s Curse’ is something like : You’ll have children JUST LIKE YOU . But it went awry . < I have a son like my brother . > < So not fair . >
So not fair .
I have a son like my brother .
C
3_43528
< I said the same thing last game . > [USER] < I do n’t think > Dwight will b a Laker next year’
I do n’t think
I said the same thing last game .
N
3_43544
It’s easy to say , We do n’t need him to concede ! < We won anyway ! > because yes , it’s true . But it’s still important to understand that refusal to concede means a continuation of polarization , distrust and anger . < It makes things so much harder and uncertain going forward . >
It makes things so much harder and uncertain going forward .
We won anyway !
N
3_43595
< I agree > < but we all know’ Run - George Strait’ is that MOTHAFUCKING FIRE ! ! > 👌🎶🎵♨ [USER]
but we all know’ Run - George Strait’ is that MOTHAFUCKING FIRE ! !
I agree
N
3_43692
Sirianni on plans for Jacoby Brissett this season : < nnWe know > Jacoby does some things really well we ca n’t lose in our offense . Jacoby has to be ready to go ; < I ca n’t give you too much information on that > but Jacoby will be ready . #Colts
I ca n’t give you too much information on that
nnWe know
N
3_43698
What’s unfolding in #HongKong < looks like’ Jasmine Revolution’ > #Beijing dreaded during #ArabSpring2011 < Expect firm crackdown > #OccupyCentral
Expect firm crackdown
looks like’ Jasmine Revolution’
C
3_43768
< My Dad Says’ Only Time Will Tell’ > newline I’m So Impatient < But It’s True ... >
But It’s True ...
My Dad Says’ Only Time Will Tell’
C
3_43790
I am so dumb . < I was thinking of Benjamin Franklin . > < He did n’t even’ invent’ it though . > I’m dumb .
He did n’t even’ invent’ it though .
I was thinking of Benjamin Franklin .
C
3_43801
I am so dumb . < I was thinking of Benjamin Franklin . > He did n’t even’ invent’ it though . < I’m dumb . >
I’m dumb .
I was thinking of Benjamin Franklin .
C
3_43802
Public : *watches < Michael Jackson sexual abuse documentary > * < - FBI did nt find any evidence of sexual abuse , > how r u suppose to believe 1 documentary . Not truennAlso Public : *watches Nextflix Documentary’ Making A Murderer’ * - Steven Avery was totally setup and is innocent of
- FBI did nt find any evidence of sexual abuse ,
Michael Jackson sexual abuse documentary
C
3_43825
I hate when people try and argue with me < when I’m right ! ! ! > 😡😡😡😡 then say , <’ oh’ nawwwwwwwww it do n’t work like that >
’ oh’ nawwwwwwwww it do n’t work like that
when I’m right ! ! !
C
3_43850
I hate when people try and argue with me when I’m right ! ! ! < 😡😡😡😡 > then say , <’ oh’ nawwwwwwwww it do n’t work like that >
’ oh’ nawwwwwwwww it do n’t work like that
😡😡😡😡
C
3_43852
< Lots of Windows , iOS and Android talk at conference . > < BlackBerry OS ? Nothing . >’ That’s because BlackBerry is dead’ say most when I mention it .
BlackBerry OS ? Nothing .
Lots of Windows , iOS and Android talk at conference .
C
3_43858
< Lmao Shannon’s telling me things from Friday night > < that I do n’t remember > and I’m just here like’ I said that ? !’’ I did that ? !’
that I do n’t remember
Lmao Shannon’s telling me things from Friday night
C
3_43867
< I do n’t get you son > [USER] But [USER] would only admit < his own joke is funny . : > |’
his own joke is funny . :
I do n’t get you son
D
3_43886
Niggas claim they like Jay - Z , just cuz everybody else like em . < Same thing with Lil Wayne . > Might as well call it a trend . < I guess its’ cool’ . >
I guess its’ cool’ .
Same thing with Lil Wayne .
C
3_43896
< I meant to text my wife “ Thick thighs saves lives > < but accidentally ended up texting her “ Dank thighs saves lives ” > and did n’t realize the error until it was too late nnoh no lol
but accidentally ended up texting her “ Dank thighs saves lives ”
I meant to text my wife “ Thick thighs saves lives
D
3_43901
< I meant to text my wife “ Thick thighs saves lives > but accidentally ended up texting her “ Dank thighs saves lives ” and did n’t realize the error < until it was too late nnoh no lol >
until it was too late nnoh no lol
I meant to text my wife “ Thick thighs saves lives
N
3_43903
I meant to text my wife “ Thick thighs saves lives < but accidentally ended up texting her “ Dank thighs saves lives ” > and did n’t realize the error < until it was too late nnoh no lol >
until it was too late nnoh no lol
but accidentally ended up texting her “ Dank thighs saves lives ”
N
3_43905
<’ It’s like that book . > I think George Orwell wrote it .’ OH MY GOD I HATE COLLEGE <’ OH MY GOD I HATE COLLEGE >
’ OH MY GOD I HATE COLLEGE
’ It’s like that book .
C
3_43916
Funniest thing an athiest has said <’ Idk > if there’s a God or heaven < but I do know > your daddy’s going to hell’
but I do know
’ Idk
D
3_44044
i realized 2 thingsn1 . i do n’t know how to refuse someone something they nicely asked for simply on the basis that i do n’t want ton1.b ) without lying / apologizing < ( ie . sorry i’m all out , > sorry i have a boyfriend etc)n2 . men do n’t understand no < when they offer to pay for a yes >
when they offer to pay for a yes
( ie . sorry i’m all out ,
D
3_44079
< patches with regular updates > ( if they kept security separate like they used to , < you would go back to less frequent hard updates ) > … I just do n’t like the new Windows and I LOVED WINDOWS!nnNow , why should I not switch ALL our PCs over to Linux ? Go ...
you would go back to less frequent hard updates )
patches with regular updates
C
3_44086
patches with regular updates ( if they kept security separate < like they used to , > you would go back to less frequent hard updates ) < … I just do n’t like the new Windows > and I LOVED WINDOWS!nnNow , why should I not switch ALL our PCs over to Linux ? Go ...
… I just do n’t like the new Windows
like they used to ,
N
3_44093
patches with regular updates ( if they kept security separate like they used to , you would go back to less frequent hard updates ) < … I just do n’t like the new Windows > < and I LOVED WINDOWS!nnNow , > why should I not switch ALL our PCs over to Linux ? Go ...
and I LOVED WINDOWS!nnNow ,
… I just do n’t like the new Windows
D
3_44100
patches with regular updates ( if they kept security separate like they used to , you would go back to less frequent hard updates ) < … I just do n’t like the new Windows > and I LOVED WINDOWS!nnNow , why should I not switch ALL our PCs over to Linux ? < Go ... >
Go ...
… I just do n’t like the new Windows
N
3_44102
< Tried telling folks > Aye , Youngboy may be sus < but mfers did n’t want to believe me .. >
but mfers did n’t want to believe me ..
Tried telling folks
C
3_44119
Bach had been raised to believe that Christians have a responsibility < to help the needy , > and that with tenacity and research ordinary people can achieve most things they set their minds to . [ < 👀🤔 > ]
👀🤔
to help the needy ,
N
3_44140
Man It ias been 12 years < since i did any real coding . > I thought it was going to be a breeze to do . < BOY was i wrong ! >
BOY was i wrong !
since i did any real coding .
N
3_44201
Man It ias been 12 years since i did any real coding . < I thought > it was going to be a breeze to do . < BOY was i wrong ! >
BOY was i wrong !
I thought
D
3_44203
< I am a HUGE proponent of earned media > ( pitching stories to independent outlets ) over paid media ( ads ) < but there is so much more to building trust . > The first step to building trust is listening to an audience . Science communicators suck at this generally . #SpreadingFacts
but there is so much more to building trust .
I am a HUGE proponent of earned media
D
3_44246
< Here comes the snowstorm . > < Oh joy . > Time to watch the entire city freakout over an inch of’ snow .’ smh
Oh joy .
Here comes the snowstorm .
D
3_44291
Here comes the snowstorm . < Oh joy . > < Time to watch the entire city freakout over an inch of’ snow .’ smh >
Time to watch the entire city freakout over an inch of’ snow .’ smh
Oh joy .
D
3_44293
I thought the lyric I got drunk , I’m sorry from Fire Flies < was I voted Trump , > < I’m sorry for the longest time >
I’m sorry for the longest time
was I voted Trump ,
C
3_44307
$ 23B cut over ten years , < dems would eliminate subsidies > but create’ shallow loss’ program ... < gop wants $ > 13B out of food stamps ... can it pass ?
gop wants $
dems would eliminate subsidies
C
3_44317
’ This is what good girls get ..’ <’ Lol Daddy is poppin ! ! > #random < but fuck it lol >
but fuck it lol
’ Lol Daddy is poppin ! !
N
3_44342
If i’m looking up things to do in Boston this weekend or Best Mexican Restaurants in Boston , it’s because I’m looking for something to do < or eat in Boston . > Medford , < is not Boston . Waltham , is not Boston . > Woburn sure as hell ai nt Boston .
is not Boston . Waltham , is not Boston .
or eat in Boston .
D
3_44368
If i’m looking up things to do in Boston this weekend or Best Mexican Restaurants in Boston , it’s because I’m looking for something to do < or eat in Boston . > Medford , is not Boston . Waltham , is not Boston . < Woburn sure as hell ai nt Boston . >
Woburn sure as hell ai nt Boston .
or eat in Boston .
D
3_44369
If i’m looking up things to do in Boston this weekend or Best Mexican Restaurants in Boston , it’s because I’m looking for something to do or eat in Boston . Medford , < is not Boston . Waltham , is not Boston . > < Woburn sure as hell ai nt Boston . >
Woburn sure as hell ai nt Boston .
is not Boston . Waltham , is not Boston .
C
3_44372
Everyone hating on Barb < and she is > 100 percent right . She’s not making this about her , < and I doubt > she hates Madison . She just knows that these are two incompatible people . AND THEY ARE . #TheBachelor
and I doubt
and she is
N
3_44386
Everyone hating on Barb and she is 100 percent right . She’s not making this about her , < and I doubt > she hates Madison . < She just knows > that these are two incompatible people . AND THEY ARE . #TheBachelor
She just knows
and I doubt
N
3_44400
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s college friend called him’ A normal pot - head who could n’t hurt a fly’ < What perfect timing on that statement > < #scumbags >
#scumbags
What perfect timing on that statement
D
3_44491
Sigh .... I’M HOME . < It feels good > when I can tell some ( my mom )’ just throw it in the bag’ . < Hmn ... > Now if only some1 would say that 2 me
Hmn ...
It feels good
N
3_44523
< That painting better not be some Dorian Gray shit > < or I’ll be like’ what not cool painting .’ >
or I’ll be like’ what not cool painting .’
That painting better not be some Dorian Gray shit
D
3_44542
Can you PLEASE put leaked elixir into replays [USER] [USER] ? < It would be awesome > if there was eventually an end - game stats chart that we could look at too . Ex : < elixir leaked , card played X times , > dmg dealt in single elixir , dmg in double , ect . 🙏
elixir leaked , card played X times ,
It would be awesome
C
3_44572
There is a guy in the Shaws backeoon saying , < not singing , > < & pronouncing it like this -’ gungdum’ style over and over and over . > He wo n’t stop
& pronouncing it like this -’ gungdum’ style over and over and over .
not singing ,
C
3_44597
< ik the show will be bad > < but can kos just be good . > can the darkling stay dead in it . can nikolai be confirmed bi & get a male love interest . can nina’s relationship w her new love interest not override or fix nina working thru her grief and be developed well
but can kos just be good .
ik the show will be bad
D
3_44600
To big foot havin ass [USER] I’m madd the shoe < I want > < is not available in my size !’ >
is not available in my size !’
I want
D
3_44640
< Would have been better > without blurred lines . MT/ [USER] Chicago is one of my favorite bands . < Loving this performance ! ! > #grammys”
Loving this performance ! !
Would have been better
D
3_44738
I hate it when they start’ lecturing’ . < I did nt do anything wrong > < and they started talking our past mistakes . >
and they started talking our past mistakes .
I did nt do anything wrong
D
3_44770
I’m working on an article about finding bookish - themed clothes when you’re fat , < and I just wrote the sentence > Another snappy book pun on another unisex shirt . < If that does n’t sum the whole thing up , > I do n’t know what does !
If that does n’t sum the whole thing up ,
and I just wrote the sentence
D
3_44788
I’m working on an article about finding bookish - themed clothes when you’re fat , < and I just wrote the sentence > Another snappy book pun on another unisex shirt . If that does n’t sum the whole thing up , < I do n’t know what does ! >
I do n’t know what does !
and I just wrote the sentence
N
3_44789
Nick Saban said Jaylen Waddle’s rehab is “ coming along . He’s doing dry - land running . Still working to try to get back . < He is making progress . > We’re happy to see him be able at least go out there and do some running and do some things . < But he’s not back in practice yet . >
But he’s not back in practice yet .
He is making progress .
N
3_44798
< If you’re not okay with abortion > < but you are okay > with turning the middle east into glass you might want to reevaluate yourself Mr . ProLife .
but you are okay
If you’re not okay with abortion
D
3_44826
Ok I’m afraid .. *whimpering < in the corner > * < Daddy Pope is a nightmare > #Scandal not’ rend your garments’
Daddy Pope is a nightmare
in the corner
N
3_44873
I know < it will happen , > but can someone explain to me why this game would be’ fixed’ if the Heat win . < I ca n’t think of a logical reason >
I ca n’t think of a logical reason
it will happen ,
N
3_44888
< Brook and I just sang’ God Bless America .’ > <’ Why ? > I have no fucking clue .
’ Why ?
Brook and I just sang’ God Bless America .’
C
3_44904
< Brook and I just sang’ God Bless America .’ >’ Why ? < I have no fucking clue . >
I have no fucking clue .
Brook and I just sang’ God Bless America .’
C
3_44905
the Your Value : < Not Detected part on the COVID-19 test results > email has made me giggle a lot this year . hope < it happens on this next test >
it happens on this next test
Not Detected part on the COVID-19 test results
C
3_44913
’ My tattoos are more than just random art ! < They mean something to me !’ > < --- Fuck you . >
--- Fuck you .
They mean something to me !’
C
3_44924
< 0_o > < .. Aight .. > If u say [USER] [USER] that tweet reminds me of that Yung Joc’ i know you see it’ song lol’
.. Aight ..
0_o
C
3_44929
Ya lil boo went out last night so before you text her check her story first to know < if you need to send a Good Morning or a Bitch > < You Think You Slick ? ? >
You Think You Slick ? ?
if you need to send a Good Morning or a Bitch
C
3_44947
< My heart goes out to Mrs Kathy’s family in the little time > I spent with her she had an overwhelmingly positive Impact on my life she was the youth choir director < I remember her saying > you ca nt sing through your teeth I have n’t shut my mouth since .
I remember her saying
My heart goes out to Mrs Kathy’s family in the little time
C
3_44966
’ I feel < like I understand Lana . > < Like Summertime Sadness like totally .’ >
Like Summertime Sadness like totally .’
like I understand Lana .
C
3_45038
< Um , hi , excuse me , I wo n’t be able to come into work today . > Why ? < Well , I’m > 25 years old & I just found a gray hair so I’m sitting on my bed having an existential crisis .
Well , I’m
Um , hi , excuse me , I wo n’t be able to come into work today .
N
3_45086
< I only listened to [USER] > pod when Pete is on and rarely even then . But , desperate for [USER] content over the holiday , I cut it on . < Low and behold [USER] provides more cringe , > 29 minutes in , when he reads off the most self - indulgent mailbag comment ever .
Low and behold [USER] provides more cringe ,
I only listened to [USER]
C
3_45109
Into the living room & 1 of her cats was weaving & wrapping herself around my sister .. I said < to my sister Ya know Beth the reason > why your so resilient towards the craft is because you know you have powers < & it scares the fμ > © k outta you , because you do n’t know how to control
& it scares the fμ
to my sister Ya know Beth the reason
N
3_45184
Into the living room & 1 of her cats was weaving & wrapping herself around my sister .. I said to my sister Ya know Beth the reason < why your so resilient towards the craft > is because you know you have powers < & it scares the fμ > © k outta you , because you do n’t know how to control
& it scares the fμ
why your so resilient towards the craft
N
3_45187
Into the living room & 1 of her cats was weaving & wrapping herself around my sister .. I said to my sister Ya know Beth the reason why your so resilient towards the craft is because you know < you have powers > & it scares the fμ © k outta you , < because you do n’t know how to control >
because you do n’t know how to control
you have powers
D
3_45196
I wish there were more time in the week < to say’ yes’ to all of the opportunities > I am being offered lately . < It’s a very good problem though ! >
It’s a very good problem though !
to say’ yes’ to all of the opportunities
D
3_45218
What s ur favirite thing to eat < when u first wake up . > Btw watchin’ pulp fiction’ john travolta creeps me out a bit & idky :/ < Btw watchin’ pulp fiction’ >
Btw watchin’ pulp fiction’
when u first wake up .
N
3_45223
< When I see that picture > that’s like’ yoga positions for cramps’ I’m like no . < The position for cramps is curl up in a ball > and cry .
The position for cramps is curl up in a ball
When I see that picture
N
3_45257
When I see that picture < that’s like’ yoga positions for cramps’ >’ I’m like no . < The position for cramps is curl up in a ball > and cry .
The position for cramps is curl up in a ball
that’s like’ yoga positions for cramps’
D
3_45260
When I see that picture < that’s like’ yoga positions for cramps’ >’ I’m like no . The position for cramps is curl up in a ball < and cry . >
and cry .
that’s like’ yoga positions for cramps’
N
3_45261
When I see that picture that’s like’ yoga positions for cramps’ <’ I’m like no . > < The position for cramps is curl up in a ball > and cry .
The position for cramps is curl up in a ball
’ I’m like no .
C
3_45262
When I see that picture that’s like’ yoga positions for cramps’ I’m like no . < The position for cramps is curl up in a ball > < and cry . >
and cry .
The position for cramps is curl up in a ball
C
3_45264
Their policy tools to date have all been bridge policies . nn1 ) Keep markets liquid and functioningn2 ) Make sure < good businesses can roll over debtsn3 ) > Ease pressure on firms < facing severe short - term demand shortfalls >
facing severe short - term demand shortfalls
good businesses can roll over debtsn3 )
N
3_45288
BHO :’ am not going to watch more people get crushed by costs or denied the care < they need >’ How about folks < getting crushed by taxes & regs ? >
getting crushed by taxes & regs ?
they need
N
3_45354
< Right lmao’ i m a fly out there > n give it to u [USER] < Ppl be mentioning each other like hey what city u in I wanna fuck ” >
Ppl be mentioning each other like hey what city u in I wanna fuck ”
Right lmao’ i m a fly out there
C
3_45357
🙏 What my clients are saying ... < Wow , I love it ! > I think < you nailed it . > Thank you . #gratitude#amygraudesign
you nailed it .
Wow , I love it !
C
3_45399
< We’d > #tbt < but too many forward moving things going on here > that we do n’t have time to’ throwback’ ! #heyo
but too many forward moving things going on here
We’d
N
3_45409
Every fashion Chad and their homies have a thrift or fashion ig but only a handful know why they pick the pieces they sell at ridiculous rates ... I’ve been seeing some of y’ all < trying to sell vintage Old Navy > for $ 45 < lmao y’ all big trippin’ . >
lmao y’ all big trippin’ .
trying to sell vintage Old Navy
C
3_45433
< jammin to’ One Love’ by [USER] > < 3 ca n’t get enough of this song . > this is #arealhusband :]
3 ca n’t get enough of this song .
jammin to’ One Love’ by [USER]
C
3_45472
< Yay ! ! > Oh [USER] Getting life from [USER] and [USER] ... #threewaycall < whoop whoop’ >
whoop whoop’
Yay ! !
C
3_45515
Being androgynous , when people ask you what pronoun < you prefer’ whatever’ seems like a good plan > < until people start contradicting each other >
until people start contradicting each other
you prefer’ whatever’ seems like a good plan
D
3_45551
< I once fucked a pussy , > then got banned from that pet store . < Apparently you ca n’t’ try it > before you buy it .’
Apparently you ca n’t’ try it
I once fucked a pussy ,
N
3_45555
< I mean , > I get that CNN might be playing the look - how - absurd - these - people - are card by giving them actual airtime < but we are far past that point . > This and climate deniers and anti - vaxxers etc . need to be shunned , giving them a platform has no benefit .
but we are far past that point .
I mean ,
C
3_45581
I mean , < I get that CNN might be playing the look - how - absurd - these - people - are card > by giving them actual airtime < but we are far past that point . > This and climate deniers and anti - vaxxers etc . need to be shunned , giving them a platform has no benefit .
but we are far past that point .
I get that CNN might be playing the look - how - absurd - these - people - are card
D
3_45584
I mean , I get that CNN might be playing the look - how - absurd - these - people - are card < by giving them actual airtime > < but we are far past that point . > This and climate deniers and anti - vaxxers etc . need to be shunned , giving them a platform has no benefit .
but we are far past that point .
by giving them actual airtime
N
3_45587
I mean , I get that CNN might be playing the look - how - absurd - these - people - are card < by giving them actual airtime > but we are far past that point . This and climate deniers and anti - vaxxers etc . < need to be shunned , > giving them a platform has no benefit .
need to be shunned ,
by giving them actual airtime
D
3_45589
I mean , I get that CNN might be playing the look - how - absurd - these - people - are card by giving them actual airtime but we are far past that point . This and climate deniers and anti - vaxxers etc . need to be shunned , < giving them a platform > < has no benefit . >
has no benefit .
giving them a platform
C
3_45600
<’ Lets cuddle & kiss and talk > < about how crazy we are for eachother .’ >
about how crazy we are for eachother .’
’ Lets cuddle & kiss and talk
C
3_45624
He keeping it real . [USER] There is a homeless guy sitting on the side of the 405 freeway < asking for money ! > < #ThatsDedication’ >
#ThatsDedication’
asking for money !
N
3_45724
I just finished’ tangled up in you’ < and it was the best birthday present ever > < i m emotionally distraught >
i m emotionally distraught
and it was the best birthday present ever
N
3_45763
<’ Tattoo my name on you > so I know < it’s real . > or tattoo my name on you if you dumb as hell . Cause that shit do n’t mean shit to me .’
it’s real .
’ Tattoo my name on you
N
3_45819