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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] would rather eat alone with my wife [25 F] and daughter [3 F] than go see my extended family for Thanksgiving.
POST: So, not that **huge** of an issue, but one that I feel kinda bad about.
I have big anxiety issues with crowds. Especially my extended family. They are your typical family, kind-of supportive, and overall nice to your face. Its not their individual personalities that make me not want to go, its just that I feel anxious about being around all of them. Nervous maybe?
My wife (together for 6 years now and expecting another baby) is supportive of my feelings and she believes we can choose to do what we want. Hell she just wanted to eat some indian food for Thanksgiving. I agree with my wife but I would feel bad leaving my daughter out of the overall extended family picture just because I'm not "feeling good" about going.
As of now we are still going but we do have the chance to not go.
Hell, I'm not even sure this is the right place to put this.
TL;DR: | I want to stay at home or go out with my wife and daughter rather than see my extended family. Should I feel bad? Am I overanalyzing the whole situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] three years, found a photo on is phone
POST: I like to read this r/relationships often and never really thought I would be posting here but I found myself in a weird situation.
I love my boyfriend and he is perfect for me. We can talk non stop and make each other completely happy. There isn't a single thing I would change about our relationship. I am not working right now but am looking for a job, and he has been nothing but helpful and generous while I search. This is my first time without a job in years and isn't an issue in our relationship. So whenever he isn't working he comes home and spends time with me.
So the problem. He has a terrible broken phone that is very old and the glass is shattered. It freezes all the time and has lots of issues but he is waiting to get a new one. So I was on his phone and I saw a photo of another woman's privates. Her hand was in it, very sexual photo. So I ask him 'What is this about?'. He told me it must be an old photo that his phone brought back. The image said screen shot so it was a screen shot he had taken it at some point.
I know it wasn't on his phone a few days ago. He told me it must have been an old photo that his phone brought back because it is broken. I get it is messed up but I've never heard of that happening. He told me it has happened before with his phone, bringing back old photos and part of why he wants a new one.
I trust this man completely and he has shown no interest in other women since being with me. He and I had gotten back together about several months ago because we living too far apart. Now that we are within range of one another things are great. So he had photos from months ago that were once on his phone.
Am I being too trusting? I don't believe he would talk to anyone else and loves me completely. Yet this seems so unrealistic a reason.
TL;DR: | found a photos on his phone that wasn't there before of a womans privates. He said it is his broken phone putting it back. Is that impossible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22m] Want to ask out [22f] but I've never been on a date and not sure what to do on one.
POST: So I met this girl[21] in a training class at work and I've found that I really like her. We've spent some time together outside the office, though only ever in a group. She's invited me out with her friends both times and seemed legitimately excited when I accepted the invitation so I'm decently sure she's interested in spending time together. My issue at this point, is how to develop intimacy. I realize I need to ask her out one on one, but to what? What do people do for dates? I'm at a total loss and I've never done this before. I checked my cities website but didn't find anything either of us would be interested. Please help. Thanks.
TL;DR: | met a girl I want to ask out but I've never dated before and don't know what we could even do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [26M] is keeping me [26F] a secret from his ex [25F]
POST: My boyfriend and I have been officially dating for about 2-3 weeks but have been seeing each other for the past 3 months. Due to unusual circumstances, he is living with his ex. They both moved to a different state together and signed a lease for a year, then they broke up after 6 months of living together at the apartment. There is only about 1 month left on the lease and she plans to move out. However, the whole time that we have been seeing each other, he has kept me a secret from her. It has been bothering me because I felt like there is no need to hide me from her but I have been understanding as he said she is crazy and since he lives with her, I didn't want anything bad to happen. They are still good friends and they hang out and go out together doing random activities. He has told me many times that they he is completely over her and she is actually moving to Germany to attend school while we are in America in a couple of months.
I told him that I feel neglected and hurt because he is hiding me from his ex but he said that he can't tell her because she will be mad. This has made me feel like he cares more about her feelings than mine. He said maintaining their friendship is important to him, which I respect but I believe that if they really are friends, they shouldn't have to hide who they are dating.
I don't know if I am being unreasonable in my request of asking him to tell her about me or if I should just trust him and let this go since she is moving away to another country forever anyways.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is still friends with his ex and they hang out together but he refuses to tell her that he is dating me because she will be mad and jealous. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by yelling at my condo's super and a smoke detector inspector.
POST: **As with most TIFUs, this happened a few months ago.**
Just some info before I begin: My sister has an annoying habit of knocking on the door non-stop like she's being chased by someone, or has to go to the washroom really badly, even when there's no emergency.
So, this happened in or before the summer (can't remember), and my internship had just finished, so I was either home all day, or going to work later on in the evening. That day, I was home alone, and just browsing the internet and Netflixing (no chilling), when I heard a knock on the door. I had barely stood up when I heard another loud knock, followed by another one, and another one (DJ Khaled style), and many more. I thought it was my sister knocking like a moron, so I yelled, "CALM THE HELL DOWN, DAWG! I'M COMING, MAN!" (Or something along those lines.) Then, I hear, "sorry, it's the super." Embarrassed, I open the door, and apologize profusely, explaining that I thought it was my sister, who always knocks like that. He also apologized for knocking a lot, and told me he was just here to test the smoke detectors. I think he was surprised, because we always say hello to each other, and I'm a pretty nice guy, so it may have been surprising to him to hear me yell like that. In case you're wondering, it's not awkward seeing each other, and I'm pretty sure he forgot about it.
TL;DR: | My sister has a habit of knocking on the door non-stop. Condo's super did the same thing when coming to test smoke detectors. Thinking it was my sister, I yelled at him to stop knocking so much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Pattern of our communication isn't working. How do we fix? Me M35 Her F35 1.5yr relationship
POST: My communication with my GF takes on a familiar pattern:
1. I open up to her about something that I'm thinking
2. She feels like I'm being judgy and critical
3. I get frustrated and try to elaborate which doesn't help matters.
4. She gets frustrated and shuts down.
5. I feel like I shouldn't open up to her anymore about anything
And on and on. Latest was she recommended that I lie to someone to protect the other person's feelings. I wondered aloud if she would ever or had ever lied to me about anything to protect MY feelings. She accused me of not trusting her. I tried to explain I trusted her and wasn't accusing her of dishonesty. It went poorly.
How can I communicate better with her? Her mother was/is very critical so she is oversensitive to being criticized and feels that way even when I'm just trying to have a discussion.
TL;DR: | GF always feels criticized even when I'm just trying to have a discussion. How can I communicate with her about something she did or said without her feeling judged? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Lawyer says I don't need to appear in court?
POST: I got a reckless driving by speed summons in September. This is my third ticket in 3 years (all by speeding - I suck at driving, I know), so I hired a lawyer as I've never been to court, I really don't want an inexpugnable misdemeanor on my record, and I'm nervous.
The court date was supposed to be this past week, but about 2 months ago he emailed letting me know he had to change it, as he already had a court date to attend that same day. He sent me the write-up to the court stating that we were requesting a date change. Now it's been moved to February, I think?
Here's the thing. I'm totally left out of the process. I'm not being updated on anything. We only communicate when I have a question, and even then we go weeks without emailing. When I first hired him, I sent his assistant my driving record, payment, and summons. I had to ask about the new date and what I should do to prep for court. He said, "It won't make a difference if you're there or not, so it's best that you not come." WHAT?
PLEASE HELP. I'm so new at this and just want the best possible outcome. I'd rather pay the max $2,500 fine + lawyer fee than have the misdemeanor. I haven't had any other problems with the law before (besides the 2 speeding tickets a year apart - I live in Virginia, by the way) or since.
TL;DR: | My lawyer is saying I don't need to appear in court - but that doesn't sound right to me. Do I have a shady lawyer, or is this just the way things are done? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my SO [21F] 2 months together, what is a normal relationship like?
POST: Ive been in so many bad relationships that im very insecure with this girl. Bad relationships in the sense that the girls were obsesive and would leave me no space or alone time. Now im wth this girl who says she loves me but since she is not always calling me or texting me, telling me she loves me every 2-3 hours i feel like she really doesnt love me that much and this feeling is making me very insecure. I know my past relationships were bad by how they ended. Girls got too obsesive and i had no space but the constant comunication left me no doubt they loved me. What constitutes a normal relationship? How is the texting and calling between people that love each other in a normal relationship?
TL;DR: | Had a couple of bad relationships, im now with a girl i like but not sure if this is a normal relationship or if she doesnt really loce me. What is a normal relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19M) store manager (30F) only addresses problems through group text, the amount of texts is overwhelming, need some advice...
POST: So right after I graduated high school I managed to snag a job at *local nationwide convenience store* and for the most part, my store manager, Karen (pseudonym), has been a mostly benign presence in the store, acting more as a friend than a leader and for the past year or so this relationship between Karen and all my coworkers and I has been fairly stable.
Only recently, like the past three weeks, Karen has taken control of the store with an iron will, hiring new people to fill much needed positions, doling out write-ups for my lazy coworkers who take hour long lunch breaks, and being a generally better manager. Now our problem is that she implemented a list with all the jobs that have to be completed on a shift to shift basis and once you complete an assignment you initial a little box next to it on the list. The list has been a pretty good indicator of who's actually doing what kinds of work and to what degree, creating a system of accountability I guess.
However, Karen takes this list **very** seriously, and has been hounding people for uncompleted or mismanaged tasks. She's addressing these problems in a very uhhh, unorthodox way, and instead of singling out individuals and talking to them in the store or giving them a call, she sends a group text message to all my coworkers and I. Most of the time these messages are really directed at one or two people, but she feels the need to tell **everybody** that someone left an unwashed pizza tray in the back room sink or that the person who accepted the deliveries from the night before forgot to put them away.
Accounting for the past three weeks, Karen has sent over **fifty** of these group messages, many of them have accompanying photos of the problems, which takes a fair chunk out of my monthly one gig of data.
Morale is down big time in the store because almost all of these messages are just about problems and they come on a constant basis. She even sends them to people on our days off and at times when a lot of us are sleeping. Is there any way we should approach Karen to tell her that the content and amount of texts she sends is excessive?
TL;DR: | Boss person is sending a flood of group texts that are aimed at one or two people, how do we tell her to slow her rolls? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The woes of College, Moving out, and transfering to a University. Please help, advice wanted.
POST: Fall 2015 will mark my transition from a 3 year attendence at a Community College to a 4 Year University. I live 30-45 minutes away from the University which makes the possibility to communte possible. The appeal of saving money (and having better food) is entising, but living at home is begining to cause strife in my relationship with my parents.
For some background: I've recently turned 21, I have maintained a 3.5 GPA, and I really have no interest in parties and no interest in drugs. For the past 3 years I have had a 11 P.M. curfew, forced to attend church on Sundays (Been threated to move out if I don't attend), and are upset by me not sharing my personal life/daily experience. My parents are very restrictive, and although it was beneficial during my adolescnets, now its really "Cramping my style" So to speak.
If I did choose to commute it would save me alot of strife by not having to get new jobs / spending money, but I would want the freedom to take weekend trips at will (Without permission) or to stay at others houses (Without permssion) or to not be forced to go to church. For those of you who have been in a similar situation or just could provide advice does it sounds reasonable for me to ask these things if I were to live at home? What is the best way to start a dialog about these requests?
And if my parents refuse to change their ways, is living off campus really worth the expenses in order to gain some personal freedoms/ alleviating the strain of commuting everyday.
Thanks in advance guys.
TL;DR: | Living at home with parents is causing frustation, but is it worth it in order to save money by not commuting to school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19F] ex-boyfriend's [19M] brother [18M] keeps trying to make a move on me.
POST: Throwaway because both of the people in this post use Reddit.
My ex (let's call him Mark) and I have been friends for about 6 years now. We started out as close friends, dated each other for a year, and we're still close despite everything that's happened, so there are no problems between us.
His younger brother (who we'll call Alex), however, has never taken any liking to me, especially when we first met. I tried being nice to him but that didn't seem to work, so I just gave up. Whenever I went to their house I'd remind myself that I wasn't there to hang out with him.
I have no idea what's caused this, but these past few months Alex has completely changed. He stopped making fun of me and insulting me, which progressed into him getting uncomfortably close to me while I was at their house and Mark was in a different room. A few days ago he started sending me texts saying things like, "mark isn't here, want me to show you a fun time? ;)"
I haven't told Mark yet but I plan to very soon. I want to tell him when his brother isn't home so they don't end up doing anything physical, and their relationship already isn't so great. I haven't told their parents either, because they favor Alex over Mark and they'd probably just side with Alex on this. I don't know how to solve this without being blamed for potentially "breaking" their family.
TL;DR: | ex's little brother is getting too close for comfort and I don't know how to tell him without everything getting horribly violent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Birthday party, underage drinking, fractured jaw...
POST: I'm a student at a university in Seattle and recently celebrated my 20th birthday. As my roommates and I live on Greek row, it's not that uncommon for random frat boys to try to drop in when we throw parties. This past weekend, however, we had a group come in, steal our alcohol, and when kicked out, smashed a bottle threw my bedroom window. I was outside for all of this, and wasn't aware of it until after the fact. My understanding is my roommate followed the frat guy who did it, and after confronting the guy, was punched in the face. He's been to the doctor and needs surgery. We're not concerned about the window; our landlord said she would take care of it. So our only problem is my roommate's medical expenses. The issue is we're all under 21, and legally, the whole party should never have been taking place (damn America's backwards liquor laws...). I was just curious how a situation like this would pan out, if my roommate presses charges.
TL;DR: | Frat guy crashes party, gets upset when we kick him out, breaks window/punches roommate, whole situation involves underage drinking. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/18] screwed up at a party with crush [F/20].
POST: So I went to a party and got really drunk, I regret a lot of it, still feel super shitty about what I did.
Anyway, from what I remember and what I've been told is that I followed her around a lot and tried/did hug and touch her a lot (nowhere inappropriate though). I told at least 3 of my friends that night that I liked her and I gathered she would've known after that.
Sent a message on Monday, 2 days after the party and what she sent back: [Message]
We were already pretty good friends and I probably sound like the biggest asshole but do you think we can ever be any more than friends, she didn't directly address the whole I "like" you thing.
Would it be wise to set up something one-on-one to just talk?
TL;DR: | Got drunk, got a bit clingy with crush, she knows I like her(didn't address it), she forgives me for what I did, any chance we can be more than friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Caught my [29M] wife [31F] texting a strange man.
POST: Hi reddit, on Saturday I was out getting drinks with my wife. We've been married for 5 years now. We were looking at her phone reading some text messages from mutual friends when a text from a man popped up. It was just the notification, but I thought it was strange that she didn't even pull up her text messages to read it. Instead, she simply left the text notifications as unread. I also thought it was strange because I'd never heard of this guy. (She never mentioned him to me and we have no mutual friends according to Facebook.) He also lives across the country. Against my better judgement I took a look at her phone.The messages were nothing nefarious, but there was a winky face and evidently he's successful. It's just strange that I have no idea who this person is, how she knows him, why she would be in contact with someone and never mention him. Now I'm driving myself crazy wondering whether I should ask her about it or not. I'm concerned she'll take it as a lack of trust on my part, which it certainly could be.
Should I ask her about this, or simply trust my wife and let it go?
TL;DR: | Caught my wife texting a strange man, she seemingly didn't want to respond to him in front of me, not sure what to do about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: A certain girl
POST: Alright, I'm horrible at explaining things and telling stories, but here goes nothing.
About a year ago (going on two years now) my best friend at the time introduced me to his ex, thinking that we'd make a great couple. That'll probably be a bit strange to some of you, but he was a weird dude. He's just annoying and unlikable now, but that's a story for another time. Anyway, we started dating, and immediately, I hated it. My friend had warned me about certain things, like her jealousy, her clinging, her self-entitledness, and just overall personality. Stupid me thinking I could handle it. Making a long section of a story short, we were less than loving to each other. I'll admit it was mostly my fault. All kinds of things have happened since then, and we've been off and on; not willing to go through them all.
I decided to maybe give it another shot recently, and she told me that I had to prove to her that I was worthy. Hey, that was fine with me, if that's what it takes. The thing is, right before that, she was dating her "first love" who told her he was gay to get away from her. Which I didn't mind, as it gave me a chance to get in again. But of course, he came back into her life immediately after saying he was never gay, pulling her away from me and towards him, once more. Oh well. She told me she cared for the both of us. A couple weeks later (now a couple days ago) we hung out, ended up fucking, for the first time in awhile, and it was great.
Next day, she told me it was a one-time thing because she wanted to get back with her ex. Of course we got into a huge argument, with her saying that it would definitely work out, ignoring the fact that it hadn't worked out the five times before. I just pushed her out of my life completely, again, and don't really know where to go from here. Do I move on and try to find someone else? Apologize, reconcile, and hope for the best? (Just so you know it's been a very long time since I've dated someone completely new.)
TL;DR: | Been off and on with ex for a year, we fuck and she says she's getting back with her ex the next day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Lately I've realized how messed up and awful my 'Country' is (Northern Ireland) i'll explain why, have you ever had a similar realization?
POST: I live near Belfast, which most people know is deeply divided between Unionists, who are determined to keep their links to the United Kingdom and are usually linked to protestant religious views and Irish Nationalists who are usually linked to a united Ireland and linked to Catholicism (however many prominent Irish Nationalist leaders were Protestant men)
Anyway, the area I live in is very unionist and the streets usually look like this [Imgur] around this time of year (July, particularly the 12th of July) these people parade in bands usually linked to terrorist organisations Ulster Volunteer Force, Young Citizen Volunteers etc. who have committed obscene acts of violence (you only need to read [this] to understand)
Another one to mention is the Orange Order, who have been compared to the Ku Klux Klan in america. The thing i have trouble digesting the most is my grandfather was a prominent member of the Orange Order and my father was in a unionist marching band in his youth.
I guess i feel more disturbed/disgusted in my background being linked to this kind of thing, not to mention the uncomfortable feeling that kids and teenagers are recruited to these bands and organisations merely because their parents were. Seeing things like an Irish tri-color flag burning on a bonfire is not something kids should think is ok.
Anyway, have you any problems with your own country and 'heritage' ?
TL;DR: | I am finding it difficult to swallow the fact my family have been linked to displays of bigotry and violent history and im probably stuck in this country looking at these british flags for the rest of my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Knee specialist?
POST: Hey r/running,
This last spring I ran a 25k trail race. My training was pretty good, slowly moving up to a 13 mile training run and I was feeling fine. Race day comes around, I am in the zone and do way better than I expected. Problem was, I messed up my knee.(Probably due to bombing down hills). Over the summer I worked a physical job, usually walking at least a mile or two a day, sometimes up to 5. My knee hurt all summer. I consistently took glucosamine, rolled my IT band, did all sorts of knee exercise rehab. Changed nothing. Now that I am back in school, not walking and carrying heavy things all the time my knee is feeling better. But I introduced running SLOWLY 2 weeks ago (every other day, started at less than a mile, increased up to 2). And now I can feel my knee starting to hurt again, a lot less severe than this summer though. SO I want to get it checked out by a specialist, but who?
Should I see a Rheumatologist, a PT, personal trainer, orthopedic orthopedic specialist?
Any advice is greatly appreciated, I just want to run again.. biking and swimming is great but not the same.
TL;DR: | Blew out knee (IT band?) months ago, hasn't gotten much better. Want to have a professional check it out |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33F] with my ex [32M] 9mos share a daughter but keep fighting
POST: My ex left me when I was pregnant. Our child is now 2 years old and I'm still struggling to get over the breakup and understand how I should treat him.
We have had a complicated relationship that blurs the boundaries of a breakup though he is adamant he doesn't want to be with me.
There's too much history to try to explain briefly, but basically I'm wondering how I should treat him and what type of dynamic we should have. I hate feeling like the annoying baby mama and as mean as he has been to me I care about him and want to be a positive person in his life.
I am the custodial parent and he thinks I'm really mean because we have argued about his involvement and his lifestyle being all about him. There's no point trying to change him and I'm trying to do the best I can for our daughter myself. But I want her to have a dad.
TL;DR: | What qualities should a child's mother have to encourage the father to be involved, knowing that he really isn't a super involved dad? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: It just hit me that I came closer than I would ever like to losing my right leg a couple weeks ago. Reddit, what has been your "holy shit!" moment?
POST: About a month ago I went in for a pretty major surgery on my knee, when I woke up from surgery all I could feel was blinding pain. It was the worst pain I have ever been in in my entire life, but it was on the wrong leg. When the doc finally got there about 3 minutes later and asked what hurt I could only swear about my leg and it took them a while (probably less than a minute, but too long in that state) to check the leg that hadn't had surgery. Turns out I had developed pretty severe Compartment Syndrome somewhere during the 6 hour surgery. I went in for an emergency Fasciotomy and had my leg flayed open for a few weeks.
I didn't fully understand it at the time, but I was on the cusp of losing the leg below the knee and it just hit me today while I was crutching to work.
so Reddit, what is your "holy shit!" moment?
TL;DR: | Went in for surgery on one knee, had complications on the other leg, came closer than I ever wanted to losing it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the creepiest thing that has happened to you while in school or work?
POST: Mine would be when I was talking with my friend in a hallway with about 10 other people in it. We were sitting down, when all of a sudden the lights all flicker and then go off. We start looking around to see if any other lights were still on, but they weren't. My friend (Joey) and I started walking to an intersection in the hall, and we hear this thud. We turn to see where it came from, when all of the doors separating the hallways shut. The lights then came back on, but only as a flicker. We ended up being told by a teacher that the power was out. We only had a little light because our school has giant solar panels in front of it. Soon, the power fully went out and we were sent home.
TL;DR: | Power goes out, lights go off, and doors shut. Day off school, and my faith was lost in solar panels. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [18F] too sensitive and insecure and the guy I recently started dating [18M] doesn't realize how much his words affect me
POST: I just started dating a guy I met about a month ago at a friend's party. We're both pessimistic stoners so it's not like we have nothing in common, but our personalities kind of clash. To put it bluntly, he's an asshole. Not in a mean-spirited way or anything, it's pretty obvious that he's joking most of the time, but I'm as sensitive as can be. I've always been insecure about literally everything (and before you suggest I try to work on it, I have been for years). Whenever he playfully makes fun of me, I can't help but wonder if there's any truthful intent behind what he's saying. I enjoy his company and like him as a person, but I always end up feeling insecure about something or other every time we hang out (to the point where it's been exacerbating my chronic depression). I feel like bringing any of this up to him would just be viewed as whining, and basically my biggest fear is other people thinking I'm annoying. I know this is going to end badly for me if I let things keep going on the way they are, but I don't know what else to do.
TL;DR: | The guy I just started dating doesn't understand how much I take everything to heart and I want to somehow fix the situation without coming off as an oversensitive whiner. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Three days in and/or around Frankfurt as an excursion from Poland
POST: I've lurked for awhile on this subreddit and enjoyed the tips and advice that has been offered up by those that have first hand experience with a particular city or area. That being said, I would appreciate any tips or ideas for an upcoming trip (beginning of August).
My wife and I are traveling to Poland for a wedding and have decided to extend our trip to make it into a bit more of a vacation. We've booked a flight from Warsaw to Frankfurt (letting the fares dictate a quick and easy flight) and are looking to spend three days experiencing part of Germany. Our thoughts are spending an afternoon and night in Frankfurt and then spending two days and nights somewhere we can get to via public transportation. Our first thought was to head over to the Rhine River and explore what we've read is a beautiful part of Germany. However, I thought I would tap into the collective experience of those on r/travel for any suggestions, either for a trip to the Rhine River or for alternative routes. We are fairly adventurous and don't mind going off the beaten path for authentic experiences but our only real wish is to not spend each night in a different place.
TL;DR: | My wife and are spending three days in Germany, flying in and out of Frankfurt. What would you suggest we do once we get out of Frankfurt? Thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] college friend asked to spend the night of christmas with me [21M], does that mean she likes me? If so how can I subtly make a move?
POST: So Im a single guy (have been my whole life) living in London with 2 flatmates. They will be going home for Christmas, leaving me alone here in London.
The girl in this matter used to be a close friend of mine during the 1st and 2nd year of Uni. Come to think about it, we were close to a point where people were thinking that we were a couple. I at that time really didnt think of her in that way, neither did I expected her to have feelings for me.
When my other female friends asked me about the things that happened between me and her, they were sure that she had feelings for me and that I was crazy not to feel anything.So as time went on, this was just on the back of my mind and as I got on with my studies we grew apart and only have met a few times the past year.
Recently, as we are both Golden State Warriors fan, we talked alot more because of the winning streak of the team. She then proposed that maybe we could watch the Warriors vs Cavs game just me and her together. Due to the time difference this would be very late at night.
I do like her company, and as a 21yr old single male, I kinda want to give this a try. I was thinking could there be anything she is implying and how to make a move?
TL;DR: | Girl asks to watch NBA game on Christmas night, is she implying anything? If yes, how can i make a subtle move? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving the door unlocked. NSFW
POST: So this happened 2 days ago. I live in a 3 bedroom place with 2 other dudes and a dudette (shes with one of the dudes). We frequently have friends over to hangout, drink beer, smoke pot, play Project M, etc. So as expected we had some friends over for the night. But I had work in the morning so I decided to hit the sack a bit earlier. (this has two meanings by the end of the story). I walked to my bedroom, flicked off the lights, and proceeded to cuddle with my florida gators snuggie. I soon learned snuggies were ripoffs because I was having a terrible time trying to fall asleep. So whats guaranteed to put guys to sleep?... The secretion of semen, of course. As I start to lift my legs and pull off my boxer shorts, 2 buddies of mine barge in the room. I must've forgotten to lock the door! rookie. fucking. mistake. There I am with my legs mid air and my gouch peering at their innocent souls. I did nothing but sit there, what was seen will never be unseen. They ran out the room laughing their ass off. I couldnt help but laugh too. I know this is something that my friends will never live down. I will forever be.. The gouch boy.
TL;DR: | couldnt sleep, wanted relief, didn't lock the door, friends saw my gouch. I am gouch boy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: M[17] unsure if I should pursue a relationship with F[14]?
POST: Hey guys. . I just turned 17 a little over a month ago, and I have recently developed feelings for a girl . . who is 14. I haven't really talked to her much & another thing I forgot to mention is she is in 8th grade and i'm a senior.
I have run into a problem where I can't stop thinking about her or at least the "thought of her" I suppose. I really just want to be friends for awhile, considering the grade difference & college soon, but I feel as though my "feelings" are holding me back from even becoming friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to have sex or anything, I just really like her personality and she is really good looking.
I guess I really have two questions, the first being is that: is it natural for me to have these sort of feelings. . being sort of "obsessed" with the "thought" of someone? Is it just relational immaturity? Or is it a sign of a much deeper problem? The second question is, should I pursue a relationship with her of any kind, and if not. . how do I rid myself of these feelings that overcome me whenever I see her?
In context, I have had a girlfriend before and am not antisocial or anything (if that matters) and honestly I don't feel 3 years is a large age gap, but rather the grade difference (8th and 12th) could be a huge problem in the future (if I was to pursue a relationship.) But it's consuming my thoughts and such, and not sure where to take it. . so I took it to reddit :D
TL;DR: | Really obsessed with the thought of this girl, and haven't established a relationship with her yet. Wondering if it's normal & what I should do about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19/M] girlfriend [17/F] is becoming seemingly more and more clingy? How do I fix it?
POST: Hey /r/relationships!
I'm posting here because I actually have no clue what to do anymore. My girlfriend and I live with our parents in the same town (after me living in a different city, at university, and moving back down), but we stay over each others houses regular.
She expects us to stay together every. single. night. It's just getting way too much, so much that i've started resenting her because of it and not appreciating the time we spend together. I've explained to her that I didn't want it to be like this, and before and it just turned into a massive argument about how I take her for granted and don't appreciate her.
Alongside this, she's started getting jealous of other friends I speak to (mainly girls) who I knew WAY before I met her. I told her that i'm going to this convention next month and that i'm meeting up with a friend for a drink, and now she is insisting to come along.
The other week too, I made plans with her to go and meet her after work, however, my sister asked me if I wanted her to give me a driving lesson (i've just started driving), in which I said Yeah. I texted my girlfriend in plenty of notice letting her know, and that i'd collect her overnight bag and take it home with me and that i'd see her at 7PM... this turned into a massive argument about again, how I don't appreciate her & take her for granted.
Oh, and on a different note, she creeped me about the other night by saying she wants to spend the rest of her life with me... just to make it even more awkward.
Anyway /r/relationships, i'm at the end of my tether and just don't know what to do. I feel like the more and more she argues with me, the more i'm being pushed away. Advice?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend getting more and more clingy, wanting to spend every minute together. Telling her or compromising just gets in an argument and things are just back the same. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] started dating a girl [24F] that I really like, and ended up having sex with another girl...
POST: So I've started dating a girl (a couple weeks) who I'm truly falling head over heels for. We haven't made ourselves exclusive or considered 'dating', but it definitely feels like were going to end up being a relationship. She's amazing.
Sadly, the other night a couple friends of mine wanted to go out and we ran into a group of girls. I was playing wingman for my friends and eventually throughout the course of the night we drank a lot more and my playful flirting eventually lead to one of the girls kissing me. One thing leads to another over the course of the night, and I end up having sex with her. I 100% had no intention of doing this and by the time things started to ramp up I was really intoxicated.
I feel absolutely miserable about this. I know I'm not even in any form of dating, exclusivity, or in a relationship; but I really felt like I did the girl I really like very wrong.
Basically I'm just looking for some advice. I don't want this to haunt me and cause discomfort with dating the girl I really like, and I know very well that even though some people may not think this is wrong, I feel like what I did was wrong. I want a relationship soon with this girl 100%.
What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | Dating a girl I want a relationship with for a couple weeks. Went out with friends and ended up sleeping with another girl and feel awful about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU almost killing my girlfriend with a tigerskin swiss roll
POST: My first post here (on Reddit) and it seems you can post about past fuckups, so this one's from around 4 years ago.
I was in a mall and there's a lady handing out free samples of tiger skin swiss rolls, which are cake rolls with a cute tigerskin-like outer layer. I try one and find it quite nice, two kinds of cake/bread and some ganache. On the day we were to meet, I bought two rolls, one for myself and one for my then-girlfriend.
She told me later that day that it was a nice cake, but she was feeling rather unwell. I know that she has several big deal illnesses she had to deal with (which I cannot and will not discuss here), but one of the common symptoms is having difficulty breathing.
Something just clicks in my head and I run to the tiger roll I bought for myself. I slice it and eat it and it turns out it contains peanuts. A lot of peanuts, crushed into very tiny pieces that you wouldn't even notice immediately that it had peanuts. And as you have guessed it by now: she has severe peanut allergies. I immediately informed her about the peanuts in the cake, and profusely apologized, and told her that she needed to go to the hospital.
She did, and she was in the hospital for five days, the peanut allergy probably triggering complications from her other illnesses all of which in concert, nobody would like to admit, almost killed her.
TL;DR: | gave then-girlfriend who has severe peanut allergy a tigerskin swiss roll which had invisible peanuts triggering a chain reaction of bad stuff almost killing her, sending her to the hospital for 5 days. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Help with ~55k inheritance
POST: Hey all!
So my wife and I are expecting to receive an inheritance (likely within the next year) from a deceased grandparent. We're expecting it to be in the 50-65k region. Anyway, I thought it would be helpful to begin thinking about what the best option would be if we do receive the inheritance so that we can be prepared, know each others expectations, and make wise decisions. And if it doesn't happen, well that's alright too.
We are already determined to live within our means, pay off our student loans, and not incur any more debt. My first inclination is to use a large sum (perhaps all?) of the inheritance to pay off our student loans, which we have about 90k of in federal loans, and which is our only debt. Do you guys think that would be wise or unwise?
We are not looking to purchase any property as we aren't even sure where we will be located in the next years. We don't know a whole lot about investing, but figured that unless we were guaranteed to make more than what our interest on our student loans is, it'd be wiser to pay off the loans first. The loans are a real burden, honestly, and with the amount we have it would be very nice to get them off of our backs. The only 'need' that we have is perhaps a second car, as it is a real challenge to get to our three jobs and grad school on a single car. That, and perhaps bulking up our emergency account.
What do you guys think??
TL;DR: | Potential ~55k windfall. 90k in student loans -- would it be wise to either put all, large sum, small sum, or none of windfall to student loans? And what to do with remaining? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 5.5 years, he always wants sex but I hardly ever do
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. We met in high school when I was 14 and he was 17. We waited 3 years before we had sex for the first time.
I'm more focused on spending quality time with him, but whenever we hang out, he always seems to be pressuring for sex and makes me feel bad for not wanting to have sex. It's not that I'm not attracted to him, it's just that I don't find so much enjoyment in sex because he always finishes in 5 mins or less, saying it's because I don't give him enough practice. We never have time alone because either of our parents are always around (I'm home for the summer from college and he moved back home after graduating). Our relationship has been long-distance since he went to college 4 years ago, so sex has never been a huge part of it.
Whenever we are together, he tries to grope my chest and I constantly tell him to stop. Him not listening to me turns me off even more, making me not want sex even more. I've tried to explain how I don't like to be pressured so much but he never listens and tries to make me feel bad for it and brings up the lack of sex in our relationship during most arguments we have.
Any advice to get him to stop pressuring me into having sex while also reassuring him it's not because I'm not attracted to him? I think it stems from the lack of general intimacy I feel with him because he doesn't do any little things for me anymore, farts directly in my face or around me on purpose, or sits on his phone looking up sports stats the whole time we are hanging out. He also treats everything as if it's a big joke and I would like sex to be treated as something serious.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is constantly annoying me for sex and doesn't listen when I ask him to stop, but I don't want to make him feel inadequate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [29M] No self worth. No self love. Insecure. Running friends off.
POST: Update 1: I am starting to believe the root of my problem is my crushing self doubt. It is an angry, bitter, and sad monster that is crying for help. I believe after letting it go for so many years, I have come to rely on others. I believe it may have snuffed out all my hope.
I would like to start off by saying, I feel silly. I am 29 and I shouldn't be in this position in my life.
I was hoping that maybe someone could offer advice.
I cannot say I know how I got here. I don't know how it got so bad. I can only tell you that I failed myself.. but.. I can recover provided I work at it.
So I have some questions that will help me rebuild relationships and not screw up ones in the future.
What does self worth and loving yourself look like? How do I work on both of them? Does it involve acceptance?
How can I be more confident and less insecure?
Before you say it. I plan on seeking out the aid of a therapist. I still wanted to gauge responses here.
TL;DR: | How does one love themselves and what does it look like? How does one gain confidence and shed their insecurities? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: And so it begins for me [m] 30 to lose 100+lbs
POST: I haven't been feeling all to well lately, not sick per say, just not... well.
So I get a new doctor and we do some blood work to see where I'm at, and BAM, there are many things wrong on it. Now being in medicine, I look at it and think "my weight is effecting me medically now... yay..." which is exactly what it was. The worst part was not seeing high cholesterol, or triglycerides... but the point that my liver enzymes are elevated. This means theres liver damage, most of the time related to Hepatitis when its in the 120 range, but in this case it was because for FAT in my liver... so it is time to change.
I was 415lbs, 6'7" male and eating fast food once a day, sometimes twice, driving almost a case of soda a day, and sitting on my computer.
Since then I have been walking daily for 20 minutes or so, riding my bike a few times a week for 45 minutes. And trying to be more active. I have effectivly stopped eating fast foods, and incorperated more vegetables/fruits into my diet... as well as actually eating more than once per day (i eat 5-6 times now, including breakfast)
And in these past 4 weeks, I am down to 399 lbs, so its on the way.
I will be slowly structuring a more strict diet and exercise routine once I can afford proper groceries, and a gym pass... but I will post stuff here as I progress!
TL;DR: | I was over 400 lbs from to much fast food, lost some weight in 2 weeks, plan to loose more. no more fast food. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] broke up with my girlfriend [17F] because I am questioning being gay, she tells everyone I raped her.
POST: Hello,
I [16M] broke up with my girlfriend [17F] a few weeks ago. We are in High School, and the relationship was only around half a year, but that's not the root of the problem.
I've been questioning my sexuality for a while now, and I decided that I didn't want to let this relationship go too far should I determine that I'm gay. So, a few weeks ago, I broke up with her for that reason. She seemed relatively cool at that moment, but the next day I recieved multiple angry messages from her friends saying that I raped her. Apparently, she didn't take this breakup well. We have never had sex, and only really got to 2nd base a few times (she's a Religious Christian).
I was completely surprised by this. I thought she would accept my reason (which I believe was perfectly valid) and move on. Around half of my friends stopped talking to me, and many people at school couldn't even look me in the eyes.
This puts me in a tough spot. I don't really want to reveal my sexuality to the public for a variety of reasons, but I can't let this stand. This rumor she's spreading could have a major impact on my life. I have absolutely no idea what to do. Any ideas, Reddit?
TL;DR: | I broke up with my gf because I may be gay, she tells the whole world I raped her. I don't want to reveal my sexuality to the public, but this is escalating quickly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my BF still attached?
POST: My bf (24m) and I (22f) have been dating for about two years. We have two dogs and live together with another couple and a roommate (five people altogether). Recently, I can't seem to arouse any sort of intimacy out of him, even though we still have a really great (at least IMO) out of bed relationship. I know that in the past few months I've gone from a very athletic body type to a not so attractive looking one, but he insists that he doesn't see any change in me and continues to tell me he loves me at night and in the morning before he leaves for work. However, I can't help but feeling like I'm losing touch with him. He used to be somewhat of a nymphomaniac, and while I definitely am not of that cloth, it wasn't anything I disliked, so I don't think that my preferences could have been what has interfered with our relationship. I don't know if he's finding me less attractive than he used to or if he's moving on with our relationship. We broke up about 8 months ago for a little while when he was undergoing a similar disinterest so I feel like my worrying is well placed. Does anybody have any advice at all in finding out if he's still interested in our relationship or if it's time to start preparing for another breakup?
TL;DR: | My nymphomaniac BF no longer wants to be intimate. Is this a bad sign even if we still say we love you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] have been together about 2 months, and she thinks it's ok to hang with guys that want to have sex with her
POST: So first thing first please tell me if I'm just exaggerating
So my girlfriend is honestly very beautiful like she is a part time model with a contract and everything, but I'm not that good looking, I've honestly been called very ugly but of course she says she doesn't care and that she loves me for me. Anyways she has some very good looking guy friends that hit on her and have asked her to have sex with them and she always declines and says that she loves me and only wants me (she shows me the text) but my problem is that she continues to hang out with these guys, like she asks me if it's fine for her to go over to hang out, I trust her but not them. And also if a girl says that she likes me then she gets all mad and doesn't want me talking to them anymore
TL;DR: | My girlfriend hangs it with guys that want her but I can't even so much as look at a girl that likes me |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by costing a genuinely nice kid his job
POST: This happened about two weeks ago. So I work at a little coffee place and have been for most of my high school career. We've had this new guy who just started, however he works while I'm in school so I have little to no interaction with him. We'll call him Sam. Anyways, come Sunday, it turns out Sam will be working the same shift as me. Awesome, right?
Now Sam is a nice guy. He dropped out of high school Junior year, but he is very level-headed and generally an extremely nice kid. We talk for a bit as we brace ourselves for the after-church rush of families. Now as it turns out, Sam was never taught how to make sandwiches and the entire day he had been watching me make them without my knowledge. So that is the first fuck up that went right by me. Now as I mentioned earlier, I've been working here for a couple of years so my boss let's me take some shortcuts when cooking because she knows I'm not going to fuck up (ironic, eh?). Anyways, fast forward a bit and I overhear my boss talking to Sam about how he really needs to quicken things up or else she'll have to fire him. Unbeknownst to me, Sam thinks he can redeem himself by exhibiting his progression at the sandwich station. Oh boy.
Fast forward to this past weekend. As I'm coming in, I see Sam at the sandwich station cowering in the corner as my boss towered over him yelling about how he was making sandwiches.
Went along the lines of, "Sam! I told you one last chance. And this is how you try to improve? By f*cking with the sandwiches? I don't care how nice of a person you are, if you can't handle this, you have to go." Needless to say, Sam is no longer on the schedule and I feel horrible. I tried to explain to my boss that he was mimicking me, but she wouldn't have it. Now I feel like I ruined some high school kid's genuine chance at getting a fairly stable job...
TL;DR: | Wicked nice new kid is slow at work. Unknowingly to me, shadows my half-assed sandwich making skills, tries to redeem himself and gets fired. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] have been having general problems with romantic/sexual relationships lately
POST: My ex girlfriend and I broke up about 10 months ago when we moved apart. Ever since me and my ex split, I've been struggling to feel comfortable, confident and willing to try and connect with someone else.
I'm over my ex but I'm struggling to move on.
I'm living in a new city and am not comfortable enough with my roomates and I feel like this is a part of the issue. I also work a lot and online dating weirds me out.
Not only am I struggling with this, but I also feel as if I have trouble connecting with others which is new for me.
What do you think? Anything I could do to help with this?
TL;DR: | Over the last 10 months, I've been struggling with confidence and feeling uncomfortable meeting, opening up and connecting to women. Looking for advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Worried about (22F) who is pregnant but isn't being realistic
POST: Sarah took herself off birth control last year while she was living in her parents house with her then unemployed fiance, she had a very menial job at the time. She got pregnant.
Early last summer, Sarah and her fiance got an apartment. Her fiance is a bit of an irresponsible mooch, and they'd been using the money Sarah had been making. They were stretched pretty thin but Sarah was so happy, she was pregnant and planning her wedding. It was her dream come true. Her fiance got a minimum wage job during this time.
They decided to get married earlier this year, her parents paid. She is 29 weeks along now. I've learned that her insurance doesn't cover her hospital visits so her parents have been paying out of pocket for every visit. Her parents don't have a lot of money, but are trying their best to support their daughter. His parents aren't involved.
Sarah is completely ignoring her financial situation. I don't think she understands how much a baby costs, and the fact that her parents can't support her forever. She keeps talking about having five kids. I really don't know how to bring it up... or if I shouldn't. However, I know if I don't, I'll be waiting for the inevitable crash and burn. I really don't want that. Sarah and I are family and very close.
TL;DR: | Sarah (22F) and her husband are going to have a baby. However, I don't think she quite understands the gravity of the situation and I don't know how to bring it up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My Mom just reported to Facebook that she had to rummage through the garbage to find my Dad's false teeth after they were accidentally thrown out. What is the funniest, yet unintentional, thing your parents have done?
POST: Just for clarity, my parents are both turning 65 this year. I've definitely noticed some changes in their memory, but it's nothing alarming - just the normal type stuff.
Another funny thing that happened to my Mom (when she was much younger though - like 16 or so): She was driving around town shortly after she received her driver's license. Upon coming up to a stop sign, she accidentally hit the gas for a second instead of the brake resulting in her rear ending the car in front of her. My Mom was terrified. She sat there waiting for someone to get out and yell at her. They didn't. When the light turned green the car drove away and my Mom followed because she thought that perhaps the person wanted to find a parking lot to assess the damage. The car doesn't stop, but continues on for a few minutes all while my Mom is trailing behind. They're coming up on a stoplight and, again, my Mom rear ends this car (LOL). This time it was worse than the last. She's sitting there with tears running down her face, completely embarrassed, waiting for this person to basically jump out of the car and kill her. Surprisingly, a few seconds later a little old woman jumps out of the car and runs back and tells my Mom that everything is okay and to "please, stop following me!" (Haha!) My Mom went on her way after that.
She loves to tell this story and it know it's a bit incredulous, but if you knew the way my Mom drives you wouldn't have any doubts. She has ripped the doors off of three cars, hit a heifer with my Dad's corvette and rear ended more than a handful of people. She has no fucking clue how to drive, but I love her and her stories!
TL;DR: | My Mom rear ended the same lady twice in one day (minutes apart) when she was 16/17. She also hit a heifer with my Dad's corvette after they were first married. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Should I (about to be) 21M break up with my 20F SO? [ Respect Issues, Maturity]
POST: So in the noon she texts me asking if i wanted to go to a party tonight, i said maybe, to which she responded it was fine if i didnt want to go, i said that it was tottally fine for her to go and ill maybe tag along or something. To which i was ignored, i then asked what was up ( as we had planned to meet up to night), also ignored.
I havent said anything since but I am extremely bothered by the incident, this isnt the first time she has flat out ignored me over something extremely insignificant, this time i feel a little jilted as it has been 6 hours with no response and we did plan to see eachother tonight. If she had gone to the party is it unreasonable to just respectfully tell me that and not ignore me? I would have understood if she went without me, i dont have an issue with that.... but if she goes and just ignores/blows me off is it not unreasonable for me to be pissed?
We have been Together almost 5 months so it is reasonably new, while she has told me she loves me and I do believe it, i dont like games like this being played my questions here are decently simple.
do i .........
1 Cut my Losses take all my shit out of her appartment and break up with her for this sillyness?
2 Talk to her about it and address the situation ( if i can even conact her, its sad that shes ignoring me) If nothing can be fixed, break up with her the same day?
3. Talk to her and address the situation. Stay with her
4. Dont say anything.
I feel disrespected to a certain extend by being ignored, yet i havent contacted her to mention i know shes upset etc ( to which i dont even honestly understand why she is)
I love this girl, i really do and she means a lot to me, so before anyone tells me "your minds made up already" understand that it isnt, i like different perspectives.
TL;DR: | SO ignores me when upset at seemingly unreasonable times, this specific time ignoring me and blowing off our plans. Do i cut my losses? Talk to her? Or am i being unreasonable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I[17] was told by a girl[16] that she loves me, but I am starting to doubt that.
POST: So me and this girl have been in the same friend group for a while now and I alway thought she was weird. One day I decide to talk to her and we hit it off. We talked for a couple of hours and we found out we had a lot of the same interests. We continued talking at school and when we were not around each other we would text and use instant messenger. Then one day she just pours her heart out to me and trusts me with tones of secrets.
Jump to about 4 months later and I have developed a massive crush on her. I have liked girls before, but not this much. Then as usual after school we start texting and then out of the blue she tells me she loves me... Now I personally was shocked, I had no clue she had any feelings for me. Then I tell her I love her back. Straight after that she says we can not be in a relationship together because 1.) She is grounded 2.) She doesnt want people to make fun of us (we are both a little out of the ordinary) and the main reason is 3.) she does not want to hurt me and or get hurt. I then state that "If it was any other guy you would go out with them in a heart beat" She says thats not true and I just say okay and suck it up, she then goes on to tell me maybe when she gets ungrounded she will go out with me.
Jump to the middle of the week and I am sitting at a table talking to 3 of my friends in a study hall, the subject of the girl comes up and one of them say that she has been making out with some dude. I sat there in shock and then convenced myself it was probably just a rumor. That friday she tells me that her and said dude had a Pseudo-relationship and that he dumped her two days after. I acted like it didn't effect me, but it really did.
Now I have no goddamn clue what to do. Any Advice?
Oh and also this is the first girl that has liked me and that I have liked in over 3 years.
TL;DR: | Girl tells me she loves me, but dosent want to go out becuase she doesn't want to get hurt and or hurt me. She then proceeds to make out with another dude after the fact. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I build a good relationship with a family member?
POST: Seeing as how this community as helped a lot of individuals with problems, I've finally decided to cave and post. I need help and any recommendations on how to build a strong relationship with my younger brother. A little insight about my situation:
I'm in my 20's and have a younger brother. Our family has had problems, and I took out a lot of frustrations on my brother both physically and verbally. Most of it was unwarranted and it kills me to have put him through it. Even if I did have a "good reason" I most likely went WAY overboard with the abuse. We don't have a lot in common but I want to start spending quality time and build a relationship with him. I feel with all I've put him through there's a line that kind of separates us and is difficult to get over. It's hard for me to forgive myself so I can only imagine how hard it would be for him to forgive me. How can I be a good brother and friend?
TL;DR: | It hurts me to have potentially ruined my brother's life and perspective by abuse. I want to be better to him, and be not only a good brother but a friend as well. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (21/F) friend (21/F) whom I work with is dating my manager and divulging information about illness leave to other workers.
POST: This isn't a romantic problem, more of a friendship issue. A few months ago I got a job working at a cinema where my friend works who happens to be dating a manager. At first I enjoyed the job but slowly the 8am starts crossed with the 1am finishes and an hour to get home and to work slowly wore me down. Eventually around the anniversary of my Dad's death there was an incident at work. I was left on my own in an area where people started stealing from my department, when I called over the supervisor nobody showed and I was left to deal with some scumbags all on my own who got angry and abusive with me.
I suffer with anxiety and depression and this is no secret but I just try to deal with it. This happened to send my anxiety sky high, I stopped eating and started panicking about everything. I felt unsafe. So the doctor decided I needed time off work. So I let management know about the situation.
Next thing I know, one of my friends tells me he was out with the girl I work with the other week and she's slating me saying how bad it is I'm missing work and telling everybody my business.
I understand couples talk about everything and I respect that and really don't mind it. But i'm so angry to find out she's telling people I work with and my friends from outside of work.
I'm wondering whether I need to make a complaint to HR, or whether that would be too much of a dick thing to do in case one of them lost my job.
I don't know what I should do? I'm already dreading returning back to work. let alone with information about my illness all over the place.
TL;DR: | took time off due to incident at work, friend whom I work with is dating manager has told people I work with and friends outside work information about my illness, wondering what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [26 F] is always bored and I [26 M] am the total opposite
POST: Hey everyone, thanks for taking a moment to read my little issue!
I am in a relationship with a really lovely young woman, and in general I am entirely happy with what is going on. However, I personally believe that your life can always be improved and I am dead set on improving all aspects of my life, if I can. Writing this makes me thing that maybe I need to learn to accept things the way they are but really, why not try to make life better for the love of my life and myself?
Anyone, I am really interested in all sorts of topics/activities/things/etc but my girlfriend has a severe lack of interest in things. I have so many hobbies and perhaps an addiction to hobbies. I believe that people *should never* be bored with life. Look at the world we live in! It's amazing. So much to do, see, talk or learn about, etc.
My girlfriend just finished her first year of med school and now has way too much time on her hands. We live in a beautiful city (Vancouver, BC) that is filled with so much to do, and so many interesting people. We are both new here and both don't really have many/any friends.
She misses her friends back home and has nothing to fill her time with so she is spending a lot of time being bored and sitting around doing nothing. She does like yoga but we do that every night already.
I have tried to encourage her by suggesting things but I feel like it's just like a parent telling their kid what to do. She's just not very receptive to any of my ideas, even if I think they are exciting and would rather do any of them than my day job.
I have no expectations for this thread, I am just looking to hear from fellow (amazing) Redditors. I am reaching out because I got out of a long relationship before this one that was ruined because my ex was needy and had zero hobbies. She would do nothing without me, and lacked a general interest in life. It's a scary thought to think anything like that could happen again (but probably won't). I just want my darling to be as happy as I am and would do anything for her.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is super bored with her life and I want her to be happy the best I can. Don't want this relationship to be anything like my last one where my ex wanted nothing to do with life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Women of /r/:dating_advice, what is the best way I can give this girl my number/ tell her I like her?
POST: I just got done with my college orientation yesterday and their was this girl in my small group that I just about "Fell Head Over Heels" for. I started to talk to her more and just ask generic questions to allow her to open up to me. First, here is a little info about her: she is extremely energetic and very happy, never in a bad mood and always smiling. She wasn't too shy, but you had to go up to her to actually have a full conversation. She would rarely come up to people, they had to start it in order for her to actually open up. On the second day I actually started to talk to her. Before this we had small talks but nothing bigger than introductions. I was sitting next to her in a talk so i thought this was my chance to actually talk to her and have an open conversation. I start asking her simple questions like what school are you from, where do you work (after she told me she works), ect. I am terrible at reading women so I could be completely wrong, but she seemed happy and content to talk to me and also seemed a little interested in me (it could just be her personality though, but she seemed like she was genuinely happy and had "one of those smiles" I have women have when they are interested a man while I was talking). While she was telling me where she works (Starbucks), she told me she closes every night this week. I found out that she works extremely close to me, so I was thinking about stopping in and get something while she worked and also chat with her a little. Before I leave I am thinking of putting her name and my number on a piece of paper and put it in folded money and leave it in the tip jar. So these are my question to any woman out there: Is this a good or bad idea? Do you think it will be weird or romantic? How would you react if you had the same personality as her (very bubbly)? Also any advice for me.
TL;DR: | an extremely energetic and happy girl I met at my college orientation who kinda seemed interested in me, she works at starbucks so i was thinking of leaving my number in the tip jar for her. thoughts? Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [20F] been dating [21M] for 4 weeks, now almost no contact -- have i been "dumped"?
POST: throwaway.
we've been dating for about 4 weeks now, seeing each other about once a week and keeping a text conversation going. he pursued me very aggressively at first, and we ended up having sex by the second date. till now, he's been really good about making plans, asking me how my day's going, showing that he's still interested in me -- but our text conversation has slowed down a LOT, and since last week, i've only been getting a text every other day or so, which is so different from his aggressiveness at the beginning of us dating. he apologizes and says that he's been sleeping all day, but i'm kind of getting the sense that he is losing interest or has found someone else. he also hasn't asked to see me again (our last date was last thursday).
i know texting is overanalyzed, but that's really the only communication i've had from his the past week or so, and i find it hard to believe that he can't find the time to contact me when he used to do so frequently. granted, he's going on a month long trip in about a week and a half and probably needs to get ready, but that's not even his excuse...
i understand that we never talked about exclusivity and that i may have been used for sex, but that's not even the problem -- i'm fine with him wanting to end things, but isn't it common decency to tell a girl when you're just not interested anymore/have found someone else? i would rather have him tell me straight than just let things drift off like this.
also. this is my first real experience with 'dating,' and i honestly have no idea what i'm doing lol. so sorry for the rant :) i hate being obsessive, and i kind of just want to know now if i should forget about him ASAP.
TL;DR: | been dating a guy for 4 weeks, he's gone from frequent communication every day to a text every other day. at what point should i take lack of contact as being "dumped"/him not being interested anymore? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Need advice on asking teacher for more extra credit
POST: Backstory: Missed a crapload of work during second quarter (week of flu and 2 weeks after parents surgery of missing class, impossible to make up) and got a mediocre grade for the quarter (33%). Also got 75% on first and third quarter from missing key essays (also from parents surgery, removing two discs in the neck and they had complications). I'm a senior, so I'm afraid that with a shortened fourth quarter, I will not have enough grades in the actual book to offset the really low E in second and will not pass the class and graduate. Hes a chill guy, so I expect he will let me make some stuff up for extra credit, but I want to put it in the right way.
TL;DR: | Failed second quarter, got mediocre C in other two, few grades in fourth. Need way to ask teacher for more extra grades in fourth. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M], crippled with intimacy issues and wanting advice!
POST: I have not delved into where my problems are sourced from, but I know I have crippling anxiety when even presented with an opportunity of intimacy with another person.
Let me start by saying I haven't had sex for 2 years. I am not lacking confidence, though self consciousness is a symptom of my problem when I am talking to people I want to be with.
My problems can be summed up with:
- Around people I want to be with (sexually or otherwise) I have crippling anxiety.
- Desire to be engaged and not to engage
- Fear of rejection
Brief Relationship History:
I have had one year long relationship in High School with someone who, though they had a good sexual appetite, was not very intimate and suited me and my problems well.
A year later I had a one-night-stand with another woman both us super drunk. I frequently question myself morally in that decision and have doubted the encounter was even consensual (though deep down I believe it was).
That was two years ago. I have few friends since I moved to NYC a year or so ago. I find it impossible to reach out to them. I normally prefer to be alone or with a few closely knit people, but this is absurd how I can't even bring myself to talk to people who find me interesting and vice versa.
TL;DR: | Desperately want to be close to people and have a relationship, but I get super anxious when presented the opportunity and never pursue it. The problem feels like its reached a peak about 2 1/2 years ago. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by almost breaking my foot playing Overwatch
POST: I was having a rough day on Overwatch competitive when the saltiness got to me, I began to punch my fists pretty hard. My desk then proceeded to take the beatings then I calmed down a bit. A little later the same scenario occurred so I hit the desk a little harder (bad idea), the desk then collapsed onto my foot (bearing in mind my desk had 2 monitors, my pc and all my peripherals on it). In agony I yelled, freaking out all players in my game. I genuinely thought I was going to have to go to hospital. Oh and I broke my PC (as expected).
Note to self; dont punch harder.
TL;DR: | I got very salty broke my desk, it collapsed onto my foot and cost about £3,000 in hardware damage. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors I need to know if I'm justified...
POST: Recently I just got an internship at a radio station (which is what I am going to school for) and was hired after my 100 hours were up for my internship. My girlfriend was right behind me, wanting me to succeed and knowing that the two of us would be seeing a lot less of one another because I worked from 8pm-4am (sometimes 8am) and had to sleep during the day.
It's been almost a month of me working and I've seen her as much as I can (maybe 8 times in the past month? So 2 times a week) and she has started getting angry when I say I can't see her because I need to sleep due to working that night. She just doesn't understand that seeing her means I have to sacrifice my sleep and stay up for 22+ hours in a day, then go to work on little to no sleep. On top of it, she has become increasingly clingy and I've noticed myself getting short tempered with her because of it.
I want to take a break from each other but I found out after her last ex broke up with her (she wasn't even devoted to the relationship at the end of it because he broke up with her for drugs) she stepped infront of a bus and tried to kill herself. She is head-over-heals in love with me, but I think some space might be good, I'm just afraid she will try to hurt herself and I'm not sure how to go about doing it. Clearly my attitude has changed towards her since I haven't really talked with her much in the last two weeks.
Reddit, what should I do?
TL;DR: | New job that forces me to work nights. Seeing my girlfriend means I don't get sleep. She is becoming a little overwhelming. Should I end it with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Father's Rights against mother Las Vegas, NV
POST: I am looking for info on what my rights are and the steps I need to take to get my son into my custody.
We have a son together that's 3 years old. The mother has a history of drug use. There was already a CPS case opened under just her name when my son was born due to drugs being in her system and therefore my sons as well. We are married but no longer living together. My son lives with me due to her basically couch surfing with whoever will take her in. I have just found that she is using again and have denied her from taking him. She has threatened to bring cops to remove him from my home.
I would like to know what I can do first to prevent her from taking my son and then to fully get custody of my son. I know law enforcement officers and everyone in general usually sides with the mother so I'm stressing about this happening now before I get to throw out her drug issues and other issues that I feel woukd strongly favor him staying with me.
TL;DR: | junkie separated wife threatening to take son from home. Need info on my rights and what to do to keep him here |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22M) want to break up with my partner (21F) of 7 years. Not sure if it is the right thing to do.
POST: We recently bought a house and now live together, but I have always been ambitious and wanted to pursue different things. Like start a business. I have very much been into fitness for a while now, and want to become a PT. For me to achieve my goal and be a credible PT. I definitely want to work more on my physique so people take me seriously. I have been through a personal transformation and believe I have the skillset and knowledge to thrive in the industry.
I never wanted to buy a house, but after she was very unhappy stuck at her parents box room, where their family bond isn't too great. I gave in to make her happy. I feel like i've made a massive mistake doing this, but I suppose all of this has happened for a reason. I could really do without the mortgage, so I can focus on achieving my goals, I know I need to be saving up capital, to pay for my course and I need to dedicate myself to the gym to get where I need to be. Right now I do not earn enough to save much money whilst paying half the costs of running a house.
I have been with this woman, who I do love and care for. She is beautiful, we have a great connection and still after 7 years find her very attractive, we just click. But my problem is, deep down, I want to meet other women. I have only ever been with her, and not had a chance to do the whole dating scene, which I really want to dive into.
I am stuck on both sides and really don't know what to do. There have been many times where I have felt like this and broken off our relationship because of my dilemmas. It has got the point where I am sick of going through this time and time again, now is the time to solve this. I have never spoken about how I really feel with anyone.
TL;DR: | Not sure whether to break up with partner of 7 years, we still have a good relationship but I am ambitious and want to pursue my dreams and also feel like I need to experience the dating scene before I want to properly settle down. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [19/F] and I [19/M] post fight isssues.
POST: I'll try to keep this as short and simple as possible.
Recently my girlfriend of 6 months got a new job which takes up the majority of her time which leaves us with very little time together, yesterday was our first day together in about a week and everything was good, a few hours into the day she said she was going to leave early to hangout with a few friends, I was acting selfish and childish and got upset since I already see her so little.
I regrettably yelled a bit and we didn't talk much at all until her friend came and got her, a few mintues before her friend showed up I apologized and we made up a bit but things were still kinda rocky.
The next day she had work so we didn't talk at all and when she got off I messaged her, and she was at a friend's house. I could tell something was wrong and I asked, she said that she wasn't happy after yesterday. I apologized and told her how much of an idiot I know I was etc. The more we messaged the more serious it seemed to become, I asked if I could see her tomorrow before work so we could talk and she told me she didn't want to see me right now. She asked for a bit of space so I stopped messaging her.
I messaged her a few more times just apologizing and telling her I was worried which I probably shouldn't have done.
I love her and don't want to lose her, and I know the consensus is on this sub is when someone ask for space things are done, which I don't agree with but maybe I'm just fooling myself.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of six months and I got into a fight, was worse than I realized now she doesn't want to see me right now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [16 M], [18 F] of about three months now. Bestfriend is worried I'm going to rape or kill her.
POST: So, getting the age thing out of the way first. Age of consent in my region is 16, and relationship is romantic but non-sexual.
Her best friend began sending long, erratic texts to her saying he's worried about her, asking if there's trouble at school, asking if people are giving her trouble, harassing her.
He finally called her, he was breathing heavily, very worried, hysterical. When he calmed down enough, he told her that he was afraid somebody was going to rape or kill her.
She's just transferred to community college,so yeah, there's lots of creeps and weirdos, but nobody there has been a red flag. And anyways, I'm there with her.
But he mentioned me specifically. He was afraid I was going to rape or kill her.
Now, that does make me pretty fucking upset, to be honest. Who wouldn't be upset?
She chalked it up to sudden paranoia and calmed him down, but I'm not ok with this.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's male best friend called her, told her that he was afraid I was going to hurt, possibly rape or kill her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm willing to pay for the skills of an artist
POST: **What I need**
I need to find someone who can draw the skeleton of a triceratops in the style of a terminator's endoskeleton. I need it to kind of look like blueprints, and would like it to be detailed in some manner that it shoots lasers from it's eyes. I'd only need it to be about 11"x14".
**Why a Triceratops?**
When my boyfriend and I first started getting to know each other back in March we were trying to find out as much about each other as possible by coming up with as many creative questions as we could. One of the many questions he asked me was what my favorite dinosaur was - and as it turns out, the triceratops is a favorite we have in common.
I had planned for this to be his birthday gift, but that fell through so I'm hoping it can be a christmas gift.
**Why a terminator-style endoskeleton**
...Why the hell not?
I don't know how much this thing would normally go for, but I'm willing to pay if the price is reasonable.
TL;DR: | I'm willing to pay for a 11"x14", blueprint kind of picture of a terminator-style endoskeleton of a triceratops. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help me figure out what I should do with my life? Please?
POST: So, essentially the deal is that I'm majoring in accounting on track to graduate May 2012. After undergrad the plan was always to go to law school then dive into corporate tax law, but now I'm not sure if it's worth the time/debt investment.
Also, not sure if that's even what I want to spend my life doing. I'll take career advice, academic program advice, or change of track advice.
Also, if anyone knows of a different career track that would magically be perfect for me I would *love* to hear from you.
So here's a breakdown of me and my attributes and some of my history:
* 3.7 GPA in a competitive business program at a pretty good university
* Majoring in Accounting currently
* I'm a 22 year old female
* I've been a server (of the restaurant variety) for the last 6 years with lots of training and a little bit of management experience
* I am an excellent sales person, I have won countless sales competitions and I kind of enjoy selling (stuff I believe in anyway)
* I'm an active participant in extracurricular's
* I won state in Academic Decathlon in speech and interview (I interview like a boss)
* I love working with people
* I suck at CIS (very basic IT knowledge)
* My dream job is teaching but, I've been poor my whole life and I don't want to be poor anymore
* The big 4 recruiters (accounting) have been telling me to get a masters in accounting
* I love philanthropy and helping people
* I'm extremely motivated to get what I want when I know what it is I want.
I just need to know what I should be working towards.
TL;DR: | I'm not sure what industry/major is right for me. Also whether I should get my masters in business or accounting or law school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 F] with my BF [20 M] 2 months, I broke things off, but I'm very concerned about him and the aftermath
POST: We only dated for 2 months; but we were exclusive and serious. A few days ago he started to ignore me for 2 days, after he mentioned discussing some baggage from a previous relationship. Then, he finally says he was going to call me; instead I receive this long text about how he has strong feelings for his ex (despite the fact that she "f*cked him up"). Additionally, he did mention that he want to continue things with me. I told him that I don't want to see him again, since he is talking to her and accidentally sent me an "I love you too" text intended for his ex.
Now, I still care about him very much. But, I definitively don't want to pursue a romantic relationship anymore. I understand that it would not be a healthy relationship, since I wouldn't be able to trust him.
I'm mostly worried about him, because he is still talking to his ex (which seems to be toxic), has very low self-esteem, and has trouble dealing with his emotions. For instance, he would name call himself (sometimes in a joking manner); but it was still sad. One time he got into an argument with his parents about him not doing much for an internship, so he went to a friend's house and drank.
I was thinking about meeting him in person to discuss this break up better rather than through text. Furthermore, I still want to be a friend, since we have mutual friends, will run into each other frequently, and help him heal.
Lastly, this is my first serious relationship and rather brief. I'm wondering if this too naive of me to do.
TL;DR: | Should I suggest having an in person conversation with him to discuss the break up better and share my thoughts and worries, like a friend would have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how do I convince my girlfriend's mom to see a doctor?
POST: My girlfriends mother hasn't been to a doctor in 5-10 years as far as I know. She is one of the most stubborn people I have ever met. She hurt her back the week before Thanksgiving putting up Christmas lights and is still having a lot of pain to this day. This isn't just minor pain. If she's on her feet for more than a couple of hours or doesn't have her heating pad on at some point during the day she has back spasms to the point of not being able to walk or even raise her feet to put them on a foot rest without crying from the pain. Despite all this pain and its duration she refuses to see a doctor of any kind. How do I convince her that she needs to get this checked out and be seeing a doctor regularly?
As a Pharmacy student I feel like I should be able to be a intermediary between her and the health care profession. I know that she used to see a doctor semi-regularly or at least would see one when she had problems but even when she would go she would decide what orders she wanted to follow and when she wanted to. Ever since she had her gallbladder removed a few years ago she has refused to go to a doctor. She's nearly 50 and thinks her yearly mammogram is enough to ensure she stays healthy. Reddit, please help me convince my girlfriends mom that she needs to see a doctor.
TL;DR: | gf's mom hurt back month and a half ago, cries nightly from pain, won't see a doctor...ever |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking my exam was at 1pm
POST: This happened to me last year but it still haunts me to this day. I had a Canadian history exam in high school and the schedules for all exams were posted around the school, including the schedules for the other grade 12 history classes. I had one friend who I talked to in Canadian history, and she told me the exam was at 1pm. Stupidly, I believed her. I even checked the schedule and I thought it said 1pm. It was actually at 9am. Little did I know, I was actually looking at the other history classes exam. The course codes look very similar (CHYU1 vs CHI4U).
So I prepare all night for the exam, it was an essay and we got the question beforehand so I prepared my answer. I wake up at 8am, lounge around the house, generally just enjoying my free time. I get a Snapchat from the friend in history class asking "When are you getting here?" The background of the snap was the hallway outside the classroom. I'm just thinking like bro its barely 9am why am I gonna go to school? So I tell her I'm getting there at 12 and she opens the snap but doesn't respond. Probably should have been warning flag number one but I disregarded it and assumed she must have had a morning exam and that's why she was at school early. Fast-forward to 11, she messages me on Facebook asking why I didnt go to the exam and that the teacher was "asking for me". I felt my heart drop to the pits of my fucking stomach. I was in shock I could barely process what she just said. So I spam her asking to explain and she told me the exam was at 9am and it was over. I couldn't believe it so I just gazed at my phone for a long time. I laughed then shortly after panicked. It was worth 15% of my mark and I didn't even go. Long story short, my mark was high enough to pass the class but I still failed the exam. I took summer school anyways.
TL;DR: | Thought my exam was at 1pm, it was at 9am. I failed the exam, but passed the class. Took summer school anyway. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by ordering car parts online.
POST: So my car broke down, thermostat issues, not too long ago and I went to the local auto parts store to pick one up. No problem. I got it installed, started the car, then next thing I know water is spraying me once the car got to temp. Find out that the part I needed to replace was the plastic piece the thermostat plugs into. The dealership had the part I needed but they wanted too much for it. So we found one online for literally half the price and ordered same day delivery. It was supposed to show up today sometime.
The part was supposed to be delivered to my parents house some time before 9pm but everyone who lives there is working early. I stop by about an hour ago to see if it was dropped off and sure enough there was a UPS sticker on the door saying that the package was dropped off in the office. (they live in an apartment complex.) I get there before the driver even puts the package in and grab it from them and rush over to put the part in before I had to leave for work.
I finally get upstairs to their apartment to examine my merchandise only to realize it has my brother's name on it. I thought to myself, "well, my stepdad could have just used his account when ordering it." SO, I opened it. First thing I pull out is something labeled "fresh lube." I'm like *that's odd, I shouldn't need lube for this part...*
pulled out the rest of the contents only to discover that my brother had ordered a pocket p@&%y.....
Rush to put the contents back in the box as they originally came. Sealed the box up like it was never opened.. and left it on the counter...
TL;DR: | Ordered car parts online. Intercepted package from parents house. Discovered my brother ordered a sex toy. Resealed it. Then ran away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I stop wondering about financial disparities?
POST: Me: 24, female, networth ~$70k, income ~$70k
SO: 26, male, networth ~**-**$10k, income ~$55k
We've been dating for nearly two years; both in it for the long term. Currently long distance, and will be for about another year. We see each other frequently, though. The debt is apparently pretty high interest; he didn't go to college, so it's not student loan debt.
His numbers are estimates, because I'm not entirely sure about his finances. About a year ago he said he was $10k in debt, and recently said he's been "paying it off," but he made it sound like he hasn't come too far.
It just keeps bothering me. He's been in the working world for over 7 years, making good enough money and saving money by living with friends, and despite that he's in debt. I started my IRA when I was 18; he doesn't have any retirement savings.
On the other hand, he hasn't had the financial support that I've had (about half of that networth was gifts from family; my parents bought my car; I was raised to be frugal and money conscience), and so it's unfair for me to expect him to be in a similar financial place as me, or even share my financial outlook/philosophy. But it bothers me when he spends $8 on a McDonald's breakfast while I'm happy with cold boiled potatoes and bbq sauce, or that my socializing often takes the form of going out to bars with friends and drinking a diet coke, while his is the frequent and expensive habit of weed.
Do any other redditors have experience with conflicting financial outlooks in a relationship? And am I overly bothered by what is, in a world of $100k+ student loan debt, a semi-trivial amount of debt?
TL;DR: | I'm frequently bothered by my boyfriend's poor financial habits, and what it means for our future. I don't know what to do about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24f] with new friend [28M]. I really like him (platonically) and we get along amazingly, can someone give me an outside perspective about boundaries?
POST: I made a new friend through my ex, let's call him Ray, who is super fun and cool. We have all the same interests and even have the same favourite book. I'm new(ish) to town and don't have many close friends here, my best girlfriend moved back to her hometown for school, my ex moved away, so I hang out a lot with my just my sis who is also my roommate.
Let me preface this by saying I am bad with boundaries. I'm a really comfortable person in both platonic and non-platonic relationships. Sometimes it gets me into trouble.
Since meeting this fellow I've been very drawn to him in a platonic friendsy way. I miss having a best friend around in town, someone to go to concerts with, shoot the shit, watch movies, cook food, and other boring day to day things. I used to do all this stuff with my best friend Dallas [23M] in university but he moved home as well. Ray actually reminds me of Dallas a lot.
The problem I'm having is that I'm worried I'm overstepping boundaries. I talk to Ray a lot. Like, we message all day. We make a lot of plans together and joke around a ton. I actually feel the urge to message him a bunch throughout the day. We've even talked about working together (him hiring me at his business for part time.)
Mutual friends have approached me and asked me what's going on because we're all over each others Facebook walls.
It makes me feel weird because my intention is not to be romantic, its to have that pleasant close friendship feeling again. Like I did with Dallas. Also, Ray has a girlfriend whom I like very much and don't want to piss off.
Am I being weird? Overstepping boundaries? Is this a realistic expectation for a friendship? Id love an outside opinion.
TL;DR: | made new friend, I want to talk/hang out a LOT and don't know if this is weird/crosses normal friend boundaries or comes across as sinister |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (28M) is too nice and it's making me feel guilty (22F)
POST: Hi everyone
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 1.5 years. We don't live together and see each other about once or twice a week due to distance/school/work but we talk/text every day at least once.
The problem is that he's a very easy-going, laid back, sweet person. I can be a bitch to him and he just laughs and says "it's okay". Obviously, I'm not that often a bitch, but sometimes I just feel crappy you know, and then I take it out on him. I become a sarcastic, annoying girl. He never acts like that! He's always... stable. And he never gets angry. Which makes me feel like absolute crap because I seem to be the only one who's "acting up".
I don't really know what I want to ask... I just hate the fact that he (unintentionally) makes me feel like a bitch because he's so "good". When I compare myself to him, he's the bigger person. And I don't have this problem with my friends, because sometimes they get angry too, and it's not so one-sided.
TL;DR: | is this something I should talk to him about? I don't really know if that would accomplish anything. It's not like he should become meaner, the problem is probably me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Ex (26m) all of a sudden want to contact out daughters (2 and 4) via a phone call after almost a year and half of no contact.
POST: Brief background. I left my ex last Janurary because he was abusive to me (physically, mentally, and emotionally) We had be married for 4 years when I left. At that time Our daughters were 9mo and 3.
It has been a rocky year and half, but I always gave him the chance to see the girls, supervised by me of course. He only chose to see them a handful of times, and even then he was high or drunk, or just wanted to focus on me and "getting me back".
I did have a protective order against him for me and the girls but opted for only a 6 month on so he could calm down a bit and I could get the divorce started. He has never paid child support (even though he is ordered to by the state), Never called to talk to them, and hasn't even tried to do supervised visits like he is court ordered to do.
In this past year and half, I became very close/best friends with S (31m). He has been around my girls and was the "male firgure" in their life, Well S and I had decided to moved passed the friendship stage and are in a relationship, and he has taken on my children as his own. They call him Daddy. To my youngest He is the only daddy she knows.
Now the problem. They are both young and they both call him daddy, since their "real Dad" isn't involved. My ex wants to call and talk to them because he "misses them". I have the OK from my attorney to let him talk to them under my supervision. How do I help my girls understand. I don't want to keep them away from their bio dad, especially if he gets his life together. I don't wanna be that women. But I know the girls have a very strong bond with S. I am so stuck, I don't want anyone to be hurt in this situation.
TL;DR: | How to deal with kids' (2 and 4) bio dad wanting to call after a year and half of no contact when they are already calling my best friend/boyfriend "daddy"? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by confusing "Playboy" with "Gameboy"
POST: This happened last semester. I was in an upper level college German class. We had a substitute one day so we spent the class trying to translate "Nur für dich" by Wise Guys. Basically the song is about this guy rejecting a bunch of stuff he likes for his girlfriend. He goes through a whole list of things all in German before coming to the line "Ich hab´ nur für dich meine Playboy-Sammlung angezündet" which translates to "I burnt my Playboy collection just for you."
SO, in my tired, early morning mind I was trying to translate everything in my mind. Somehow my mind convinced me that "play" would translate to "game" in German (lol wut) instead of just realizing it was an English word. So, having gone through all these things he rejected I, in my half awake state, decided to make a little humor and say that "Burning my Playboy collection would just cross the line, that's too much" (because Pokemon is the bees knees). There was some silence and everything got really uncomfortable. But, still being half asleep, I assumed my joke was just super lame (which it would have been regardless) and didn't think much of it. It was only as class was ending that someone approached me and asked why I would declare my love for Playboy to the whole class. FINALLY, the gears in my brain started working and I realized what I had done. I went into damage control mode but a lot of my classmates had already left.
TL;DR: | I mistranslated Playboy into Gameboy and declared my deep love for Playboy to my entire class, permenantly making me out as an unabashed pervert. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Tips for losing the last 20?
POST: I'm a 20 year old 6'4 guy and have been losing weight for years now. I started at 260 and am now down to 198~ and am looking to get down to 180 or 175. I'm finding these last 20 pounds pretty hard, and I'm not sure what to do. I've been doing a simple calorie restriction diet (around 1200 calories, is this standard?) for a while, but I feel like I need to do something more hardcore.
I'm thinking of just cutting breads out completely, as well as dairy products (oh coffee how i'll miss you so). I'm also thinking of cutting out sugars, but one of my diet staples, chinese chicken salad, has a oil vinaigrette dressing with some brown sugar in it. :\
As for working out, I run maybe 3 times a week and walk 6000 steps a day just in my daily life.
Anyways,
TL;DR: | 6'4, 200 lb guy looking to lose 20 pounds needs tips on what to cut out to make this happen as fast as possible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (29/f) and my friend (29/m) are going on a trip this weekend. My friend asked about us bathing together
POST: My good friend and I are going on a trip this upcoming weekend. We picked a bed n breakfast place to stay in.
Today my friend and I were talking. I was talking about how the bath tub at that place is bigger than mine. He ended up asked about us bathing together.
I told him maybe. I originally was thinking no. I have never bathed with anyone. This friend and I have traveled together twice and we did had sex a few times and act as a couple whenever we travel.
But thats about it. I am not sure if it would be way too intimacy or not. Yet at the same time, it do sound really nice, especially since I know he will give me a nice massage and wash me. Have anyone ever bathed with their friend? How did it turned out?
TL;DR: | A friend and I will be traveling together. The place have a very nice bath tub. My friend suggest that we can have bubble bath together. Am on the fence about whole thing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27M] boyfriend called me [27F] ex's name after sex. Lied when I confronted him. Should I be upset? Read details please.
POST: Hi all. I've been dating this man for 8 months. He broke up with said ex around 2 years ago (they dated 3 years). I never met her, but I had learned of her name through his friends. He had never told me her name, but it had come up in casual conversation separately, so he didn't know I knew her name. No biggie, I don't care about ex gfs.
Anyway, post-sex he calls me her name. Accidents happen, but I called him on it since he tried to ignore it to see if I didn't notice. I said:
Me: "Did you just call me [Random name]?"
Him: "Huh? I didn't just say that, did I?"
Me: "Yes, you just called me [Random girl name]. Tell me the truth, is that an ex's name?" (I knew full-well this was his ex, I just wanted him to admit it)
Him: "No, it isn't an ex. I don't think I even know a person named that... so weird I said that name!"
That's when I got pretty upset (internally, I get quiet when upset). I wasn't mad that he called me an ex, I was mad he was dishonest. I became silent and he said to not be mad, it was an accident. After a minute I told him I believed he was lying about it not being an ex's name and he looked shocked and came clean saying he didn't "want to admit he had called me his ex's name" and had freaked out.
Question, Reddit: Should I be upset? I haven't spoken to him since the incident (at work now). Not sure how to handle this one. Thoughts? I'm a bit hurt about the lie.
He is generally very mature and sweet. I've asked that our relationship be truthful and honest and it feels to have been to this point. I just don't like that he looked me deadpan in the face and said he wasn't lying. Ouch.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend called me ex's name and tried to play it off and pretend it wasn't an ex's name till I called him on it. Feeling lied to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (23M) Unsure about (23F) consenting to sex
POST: There is this girl I met who I've seen 5-6 times on various dates over the course of 1.5 months; I have been taking it slow (nothing sexual) because imo anticipation tends to increase intensity.
The other day we had planned on having a few drinks and spending the night at her place; fast forward 3-4 drinks (I've had a couple more but neither of us are more than tipsy) and things are getting hot and heavy. We are making out and I'm kissing her breasts/feeling each other up as we're watching a movie in bed.
Once the movie is coming to an end I close the computer screen and things advance to dry humping/over panties fingering, now here is where things get complicated. She says no a few times and struggles to push herself on top, saying "I want it my way". I know she wants to be submissive but also likes to put up a fight, so I continue to keep some body-weight on her and continue to kiss/pet BUT she continues this 2-3 times at which point I start to just kiss her and cuddle.
A minute into cuddling she asks to get more drinks (pours herself 2-3 drinks worth) and asks to share.
I'm confused, should I have continued and simply held her down ignoring her struggle? She didn't seem alarmed and everything is still normal as we've hung out since.
TL;DR: | She said no but I think it may have been her wanting to be dominated; I'm always very careful with consent while this post may not seem it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by naming a file FINISHMEFUCKWAD.pptx
POST: This happened to me last week in my Spanish 2 class. It was the Sunday before last and I was working on a Spanish project and I got a text from some of my friends asking if I wanted to go hang out. I said sure and named the file FINISHMEFUCKWAD.pptx and placed it on my desktop hoping I would notice and complete the project. I got home, took a shower, and finished the project. I saved it and put it on my flash drive. Fast forward to 5th period last Monday and I'm up to present so I plug my flash drive into my teachers computer (which the screen is being displayed via a projector in front of the whole class) and I open up the flash drives contains files and see FINISHMEFUCKWAD.pptx. The teacher flipped and I got in school suspension for a week.
TL;DR: | name a file finishmefuckwad.pptx for a presentation, open it in front of class, teacher flips, ISS for a week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my fear of starting a new relationship
POST: So... I am a Fit 21 year old man.
I've never tried talking about my relationships or anything of this nature to anyone not in person but I am baffled.
I am going to keep it concise so i can just learn and better myself to either continue my "dating experience" or give up on it for another few years and work on me more if i feel it is necessary.
My relationship experiance is rather poor. I was a nerd in highschool and in college i got laid by a friends with benefits. I haven't had a legitamate relationship in a rather long time (few years i dont remember).
Ive been working on my self quite hard to get the body i want and to be as fit and strong i have dreamed about. I decided outa the blue i would try a dating app on my phone because of convenience sake. Well first month of using it and i have gotten nothing but catfish girls(pictures that are nothing close to in person).
I was raised right so i gave my time of day to each lady but i find it hard to trust someone who wont post a recent (pref timestamped picture) picture. Mostly because i have had a hard time trusting anyone besides my parents and me.
Ive always been honest on these profiles saying im looking for a long term type relationship. In person i have no problem with speaking and talking to people.
I recently as of a few days ago deactivated my accounts so i wouldnt have people waiting on my reply. I just want an answer to why this is happening, like maybe im just unlucky or something of that nature.
TL;DR: | I'm a nice guy who has trust issue trying dating again. been catfish'd several times. I want an answer basically. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by spelling my name wrong
POST: For those who do not know, the pSAT is a "pre" version of a test used in America by colleges. The pSAT is taken by all high schoolers, but is a short test of ~4 hours.
Anyway, on the test I put my email, marcos(mi)(lastname)[email protected] which was used to email me my scores a week ago. Well, I couldn't view my scores, and was not able to make an account for some reason. We called, and they couldn't figure out the problem. Well yesterday, I got an email (advertisement from a college)... But they spelled my name wrong...
"Dear Narcos..."
I filled in the wrong bubble on the test.
I can't access my scores or make an account because I have the wrong name. If I make an account using "Narcos" I'll have it registered wrong name on everything the SAT is uses
TL;DR: | I'm not "Marcos" to colleges. I am a word for a Mexican Drug Lord, "Narcos" |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does PayPal or no PayPal make a difference to you?
POST: Hi /r/AskReddit,
I run a small online business and have done for over two years. I'm currently at a point where I'm considering ditching PayPal completely as a payment option, however, what concerns me is the potential loss of sales that otherwise having PayPal as a payment option may represent.
I understand that I'm asking a somewhat biased crowd, due to the recent Wikileaks shenanigans, however, the Reddit community is part of my target audience (a lá web hosting) and so I feel your opinions will still be extremely useful. I'm also concerned about PayPal folding to US Government pressure, and I'm British; furthermore, I have received a chargeback fee from PayPal passed on from a card issuer due to PayPal's failure (and partly my own failure for not recognising one or two suspicious factors) to screen the transaction.
If possible, please visit [the website] for the business and just experience the visit so that you may form your own opinion of how the sites looks, whether the business looks professional/reputable or not and then ask yourself the question I am asking... Does not accepting PayPal make a difference to your opinion of the business that you are hypothetically considering parting with your hard-earned for?
Any general constructive criticism that you may have while you are at it will also be gladly received.
TL;DR: | [Visit here] look around, assume the site does not accept PayPal and only accepts direct card payments; does this affect your hypothetical purchasing decision? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (16F) girlfriend gets beat by her dad, he is fucking pyshco, And I'm not sure exactly what do
POST: Alright well friday night my girlfriend and I were drinking and her dad was telling her to come home and making a huge deal out of it. She was talking to her mom about her dad beating her again and my drunk self got really fucking pissed... I called her dad and told her shes not coming home (I would had to drive anyway) and he flipped the fuck out. He was then on the way too my house so I drove to a parking lot drunk where we stayed the night. She has been with me and her mom since then but her dad is still really fucking pissed and I know he will probably beat her again... From what it seems i guess her mom hasnt done shit about it.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | My GF's Dad is fucking crazy, has stocked her on more then 1 occasion, and occasionaly beats her. Im not sure what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] for 3 years, I feel so lost.
POST: I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, we can call her Amanda..
Amanda is a great person and an amazing friend to me. She is very trustworthy and genuine, however there are some things pushing me away from being with her longer.
Before I dated Amanda, I had one other girlfriend, we can call her Emily. Emily was my first love but we broke up after senior year in high school. 3 weeks after we broke up I met Amanda and started dating her. It was way too soon for me as I still was in love with Emily. But I got over her and after a while fell in love with Amanda.
Starting last year I started talking to Emily and we made a new friendship. Emily and I click together better than me and Amanda which kills me because of how much Amanda cares for me. I just don't feel as strongly for her.. she wants to get married to me and I already know I don't. I've tried breaking up with her but she always stays and never gives up on me.. which makes me want to stay.
So fast forward to how I messed up. Amanda has been gone on vacation to her relatives place, and last night Emily wanted to hang out. I went to her house and after a few laughs and playful gestures we kiss. It was the most amazing kiss I've had in years. I kiss her everywhere and we can't let go of each other. I think she wanted to take it further but I couldn't, but we kept cuddling. We were so happy to be there together and I haven't felt a connection like that in years. I feel like poop and I don't know what to do from here.. should I just move on from that and be better to Amanda? I'm lost.
TL;DR: | Made out with my ex gf while my gf, who I haven't felt as strongly for, is on vacation |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 20/m my girlfriend 19/f of 4 and half years lied to me about smoking with and spending the night at this guys house
POST: so back story I guess? Been with my gf for almost five years now and its been a great relationship, she is a wonderful girlfriend and really everything a guy could ask for: smart, pretty, great in bed, plays video games, and knows a lot about cars. She has stood by my side through a lot of rough family shit and through a lot of emotional stuff I have gone through. I am bi polar and I can be a lot to handle. Anyway what I am trying to get at is over she has been trust worthy and I have never had any reason to not trust her ever, In fact she is the only person in my life I have ever been able to fully trust....until this Friday. Girlfriend just started her first semester at her university, its a commuter school so she still lives close, she usually has been really shy and has had a hard time making friends but recently she has been talking alot about this guy and how she hangs out with him everyday, being I have never had a problem with her and other guys I think nothing of it, I am happy for her, just glad she is making friends. Some shit went down (Her dad found out I was having sex with his daughter) and she had to stay at her "friends house" she told me she was staying at a girlfriends house. This Friday she tells me she spent the night at the guy's house who she has been hanging out with a lot at school, and on top of that she got high while she was there. Now there were other people there but still her lying about being there at all is what is bothering me, not the fact that it was a guys house....Am I wrong to be freaking out about her reason for lying? Like it is really getting to me, I keep thinking the worst, oh and I forgot to mention this guy is REALLY into her. Like flirts with her all the time via texts. What do I do? confront the guy? tell him hey back off? I just feel I can't trust my gf anymore because what possible reason could she have for lying to me when I have never had a problem with her doing any of the stuff she did before.
TL;DR: | gf spent the night with some friends at a guys house who has a huge crush on her and got high with them then lied to me about it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [F/31] Having issues with my friends understanding my chronic pain.
POST: I have chronic migraines. Now, I know what you're thinking- "oh, isn't that just a bad headache?". No, it's not. It's nearly blinding pain, nearly every day. I have to go an hour away, to a doctor who only treats migraine patients. I've had Botox, triptans, ER stays, nerve blocks that gave me seizures, etc. I'm quickly running out of treatment options. We're getting to the point that surgery might be on the horizon. *This is serious business.* Migraines can sometimes trigger strokes. To say I'm scared is an understatement.
So, because of the chronic pain, I don't get out much. I keep up with my friends online mostly. (I've known most of these people for years.) I'm on a Facebook group with most of them, it makes it easier to keep up. Yesterday, I posted to the group that I was going to the migraine specialist, and I was *scared*, for the above reasons. I wanted prayers, good thoughts, juju, whatever. I got one response. Just one. And this happens every damn time I post about the migraines. I either get no response, or just one or two.
I only post about them when I go to the doctor, and yesterday was the first appointment in three months. Meanwhile, others in the group are having issues that, *to me*, are trivial, and they're getting all kinds of support. WTF? Am I a bad friend? Should I just drop these friends?
TL;DR: | I have chronic migraine, friends don't seem to care. Am I a bad friend? Should I find new friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] mom [50sF] has cancer and my family is putting an insane amount of stress on me
POST: My mom was diagnosed with cancer two months ago and began chemo a month ago. This has been really hard on my family both emotionally and financially. My dad had a stroke last year and can't work anymore (he is on disability, I live in the US) and my family has always been poor with little savings. My mom makes near-minimum wage at a job she has for the benefits and would clean houses after work for cash. She currently can't work at all but she's on a leave of absence from her benefits job so at least we still have those benefits.
I'm in college in the city right near my parents but I don't drive so it still takes me an hour and a half to get from my apartment to my parents'. I used to go to college six hours away but transferred after my dad had a stroke which was a really big sacrifice (not "bragging" or anything, just giving context; my other school was much more highly ranked and I had a lot of friends who I really miss). However, I've made it work at my new school and I have an unpaid position in a lab that is going to MAKE my grad school applications. Seriously, I'll be published at least three times, I got my own funding, I'm on track for a first author paper, I have an incredible mentor etc etc. I'm applying to really competitive programs and this position is going to give me that edge.
The problem is that my family expects me to be around CONSTANTLY. I go home almost every weekend but apparently that's not enough. My dad calls me at least five times a day asking why I'm not at home. Well, I'm in class or at the lab. They expect me to go to their house every day after classes to be with her. That's three hours round trip not including the time I actually spend with her! My whole family wants me to quit the lab because it "takes away from family time". I don't want to quit! Is that selfish? I love the work I'm doing, I love my classes, I finally figured out what I want to go to graduate school for. Am I wrong for feeling like giving this up would be too big a sacrifice?
TL;DR: | Family is pressuring me to spend all my time with them because my mom has cancer, would mean leaving an important (but unpaid) position |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by drinking my own piss.
POST: No throwaway, because no shame.
So I live in Washington where it's legal to smoke the mariweedus. So last week I got really stoned and was drinking my peach Snapple (I'm addicted to the stuff). Later that evening I had to piss but was too lazy to get up so, you guessed it...I pissed in my empty Snapple bottle.
Fast forward to last night, I had just gotten home from driving across the state and I really wanted a Snapple. I look in the fridge and the was one left in all its glory, Cracked it open, and downed half of it but realized it was my last one and was kinda bummed.
I made my way to my room, and was really happy because I saw a half full bottle of Snapple so I said "fuck it, mix them together!" As you know...this other bottle wasn't Snapple. I took a big gulp...immediately realized the horrible error I had made, and started puking.
TL;DR: | pissed in a Snapple bottle, a week later mixed it with an actual Snapple, drank it, puked. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [19f] falling for a person [18m] who I can't be falling for.
POST: I've known this guy for about a year. I met him through a guy I had dated in high school and when he dated a friend of mine [17f] we reconnected and became friends again in June. They broke up after dating for only 2 weeks.
So here is where things get complicated. I've been in a rough relationship with a cheating and manipulative guy on and off all summer. During the summer my girl friend was trying to get back together with this guy, she ended up getting him alone in the shower and they had sex, it was a bad idea for both of them. She had a pregnancy scare and he decided after that, that he was not into her. (She was very dramatic about the whole thing.)
Well I have stopped talking to her and we've gone our separate ways, but me and my guy friend have been talking quite a lot. He was the one who convinced me to end my bad relationship.
He reminded me what it's like when someone actually cares about you. He made me feel beautiful and worth while. After being so emotionally abused it was really hard to not fall for someone so charming.
*But here is the catch, my girl friend is still madly in love with this guy! Shes still starting rumors at our old high school (both him and I have graduated) that they are fuck buddies. She even went so far as to tell me "you better not fall for him or things will be really bad for you". I feel endlessly guilty for liking this guy. We're just friends right now, but I can't deny I have feelings for him.*
***I have no idea how to handle this situation. Should I stop talking to him? Should I face my fears and tell my girl friend? Should I just leave things be?
TL;DR: | Starting to have feelings for my friends ex-fling who she is still "in love" with. We're just friends, but I feel like I'm betraying her by just being his friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Awkward situation.
POST: To start off with I'm a terrible story teller but here we go. Alright, so I've known this girl for the past few months, we are just friends and I never really put anymore thought into it there was a real attraction I thought she was kinda cute, but This Friday that just past me and my friends threw a Halloween party. Everything is going smoothly, everyone is having a good time. So a few drinks later and a few hours have passed. This part of the story gets unclear due to the drinks, but we start hooking up in a drunkenly horny mess, it's not really a big deal we ended up spending the night together. After everyone eventually everyone woke up we and went out to breakfast, after everyone was leaving she came up to me and told me that she had a fun time, and she had a crush on me, and that a should text her. I don't want her to think that I'm an ass and that I just used her. I was wondering how long I should wait to text her.
TL;DR: | Went to a party, got drunk, hooked up with a girl I recently became friends with, I don't want to make it awkward because I will she her pretty often, when should I text her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [M20] and a local girl [F17] have fallen for each other online. For obvious reasons, I'm feeling pretty conflicted and afraid about it...
POST: To start of, I feel cursed. I've fallen for a incredible girl who's head over heels for me, but she's underage in my state making my feelings about it a real conflict. She's also the first girl that I can say is my girlfriend, so it kind of a big deal for me. I feel like I have to keep it a secret in order for us to be together and I hate keeping something this big a secret. I live with some family, making my life hard to keep a total secret.
We met through a post on Whisper, and over time we got closer and closer, to moving from the app to phone calls and Skype chats, to us falling for each other and wanting to be together.
After talking and being "together" for about a month (due our conflicting schedules), we're having our first date this coming weekend, and I'm excised to finally meet her in the flesh. But sadly, my guilt to my family is on my chest.
My family are very aware that I've been lonely and longing for a girlfriend for years, and whenever I would visit my parents (I currently live with my grandparents), its one of the first things they ask about. With that in mind, I feel awful having to hide the fact that I've found a girl that likes me, something they would love to hear if it wasn't legally questionable. I'm sure they'll disapprove of it, or worse, force us to break up. I'm thinking of telling my grandpa about it, seeing he's far less judging and uptight like my parents. He's been supportive in rough times like these, so hopefully he wont freak out too much.
TL;DR: | Feeling guilty about keeping my non sexual relationship with a 17 y/o girl a secret. Should I let my family know about us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] asking her [29F] on first date, simple question about how to ask her out
POST: *
TL;DR: | Have a girl's number, told her I would text her but I usually call on first dates. Should I text or call, and what should I say? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I just inherited $70,000 and don't know anything about money. Can I have the starter pack?
POST: Hi everyone. New here.
An inheritance matter just cleared and we got the wire transfer two days ago. Now I suddenly have more money than I know what to do with, quite literally. $70k doesn't make me a rich person, but I've never had this much money, and I actually have to start planning to use it in wise ways now.
Me: I'm mid-20s, single but getting married next year, no kids, and in grad school, going to go to doctoral school in the next few years. Live in apartment. I have no student loans, but a $6k car loan. No significant credit card debt, no other debt. I make enough to get by without incurring debt if I spend carefully but I don't have much in the bank (well, I didn't before this) and I'm very bad at following a budget.
I know the very basics, like I need an emergency fund, retirement fund, maybe invest in stocks and put some in a CD, but beyond those categories I'm lost.
TL;DR: | I need some basic financial planning info and resources so I maximize my dough's ability to make dough while I'm not using it and don't squander it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[20/F] feeling guilty about my best friend [20/M] after I started dating another guy [24/M].
POST: I've known my best friend for many years and he has always had a crush on me. I never liked him in that way, but he was always there for me and was my best friend.He was a bit pushy about wanting a relationship,but I guess that was my fault because I relied on him so much, so I thought those feelings he had would go away.
A few months ago I met a guy online and we really hit it off, so we ended up dating each other. It's a long distance relationship, but my best friend found out and he was devastated. I felt bad for him at first, but I thought for sure he would get over it. I talked to him, but I guess I was a little harsh/bitchy and I told him he would never have a chance with me. It damaged communication with us, but he tried his best to keep things as it was, he even told me he was "happy for me and hoped that this new guy treats me right". I was happy to hear it, but I honestly feel extremely guilty about my best friend.
I talked with some of his friends and they told me he is honestly depressed about it, but he doesn't want to say anything and that his grades have plummeted to a point where he got kicked out of his university. He's now attending another school luckily and he still treats me as just his best friend still, granted I can tell he spaces himself from me more now and I understand.
I know of my best friend's dark past, a lot of emotional scars from friends, family, and other girls in his life. So I do have some sympathy for him. But I'm now wondering why I feel so guilty dating another person? Even though my best friend wished the best for me and seems okay. I have even stopped talking to my boyfriend in order to figure this out.
TL;DR: | Best friend of a long time liked me, I never liked him. I started dating another guy, but feel guilty and cannot shake this feeling despite my best friend still acting the same/treating me as a friend still. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Two douchebags have been pissing me off lately... How can I slowly get my revenge?
POST: Throwaway account, because they know my alias...
Anyway, I'm in high school (10th grade) and I have these two "friends" (actually one of them is a nice guy, he's just being a real piss-off) who have been doing stuff like jacking my food, throwing my shit, etc. They've been doing this for a few weeks.
Now I'm a pretty big guy, 5'11 and 155lbs, but I don't want to do anything violent or aggressive (it's not my style :P). These first victim, Douche, is about the same as me, but he's got ze muscles and can probably beat me up. The other kid, Dick, is short, annoying; basically a douchebag. He's the 9 year old kid you find in COD calling everyone a faggot and being an asshole.
He's some information regarding me and them:
* They share the same locker; they do not have a lock. (Mine does have one)
* They are both in the same class, but not in mine. However my class is next to theirs.
* They know I'm planning something, as I have been starting to do shit to them.
* We eat at the same table at lunch.
* I can enter and leave their class without much notice; no one really gives a shit.
So anyway, hit me up with ideas, Reddit! :P
TL;DR: | Two guys have been pissing me off for a few weeks; give me an idea to get my revenge on them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend (26/f) and I (26/m) disagree on sex. Not sure if this is worth ending relationship over.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years. Throughout that we've broken up a few times, for a month or two at a time, but always end up back together.
Things have been stable now for quite a while and we've been doing well. Aside from sex. Previously, every girl I've dated has wanted it as often as myself or more (roughly every other day at the very least). She has no libido. She enjoys it when it happens but thinks I should be happy with once a week or less. She compares it to her friends and says all her female friends want it the same amount and that I'm unreasonable. Then usually starts a fight between us because I'm in a bad mood after getting turned down or she's in a bad mood that I'm upset and want it too much.
When we DO have sex, I usually feel like she's lazy about it. I do the work, then once she gets off she wants me to do what I need to do to finish.
My question is, should this be a deal breaker? Should I just settle for what she wants, or she she be catering more to my needs? I know sex is a big factor when it comes to a lot of divorces these days. I'm not sure I should be sacrificing my desires for the rest of my life, but I also don't want her feeling obligated.
On top of that, we've talked about moving in together come March. I'm wary of it because of the fights over sex. I stay with her at her place a couple nights a week and it comes up fairly often. I can only imagine what a problem it'll be when we're together non-stop.
TL;DR: | I want sex. Girlfriend doesn't. When we do it's not the best. Should it be a deal breaking issue? Do I need to just suck it up and accept the amount of sex I get? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Do I have a case to take this guy to Small Claims? (x-post from AskReddit)
POST: (I feel I got good response in AskReddit, but figured this is the more appropriate sub to ask in)...
In the fall of 2011, after doing some work for a company in Chicago, I was put in contact with another business owner funded by the same guys (Lightbank, the guys behind Groupon).
I talked to the guy about what he needed, and we agreed via email to a retainer for three months. Like a fool, though, I started work before I had a signed agreement, and once the first payment was due (about a week after PT work began) he balked at the terms...this is despite the fact he kept talking about "trust" and how he has solid funding behind the company.
I immediately stopped work and since then have had several conversations with the guy, about things from how he wants me in the office as a FT employee, to examples he'd share that used some of the work I'd done.
Once I saw he was using my work (even just "as a placeholder" as he described it), I mentioned that he was using it and hadn't paid me. His response was that he'd *"never said he wouldn't pay"* and to submit an invoice.
I submitted the invoice on 12/1/11 (net 30) and started following up on day 31 when he of course hadn't paid.
He's now saying the work was "samples" and that they "aren't using any of the work in production".
TL;DR: | Did work without signed agreement, client is now claiming it was sample work and refusing to pay, but have emails and IMs showing I did work as requested and asking me to send him an invoice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey reddit, what's the worst thing you've done to get revenge on an ex?
POST: So there's a little bit of a story here. Yesterday I found out that my ex boyfriend who I broke up with about a week ago cheated on me with three different girls in the two months that we were together.
This guy told me he loved me after the first week (red flag I know) told me he wanted to marry me and even brought me into a jewelry store to look at engagement rings
Here's the thing. I still have a bunch of his shit: pj pants, lulu lemon hoodie, two tee shirts, his two favorite hats, and a diamond necklace he gave me. What should I do?
So far thoughts of javex, something involving tuna, and scissors have all crossed my mind. Whoever gives me the best idea of what to do with his shit, I'll do it.
He told me in a text message that he was playing me the entire time and that he just used me.
TL;DR: | I have my exes shit and I found out he cheated on me with 3 girls. What should I do with it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: how bad did i screw myself over?
POST: I was the kid who back in high school decided i was too cool for school and decided in my sophomore and junior year that i would only do the minimum to graduate and never have to attend another school ever again. ( yes i was stupid ) fast forward to my senior year when i get some sense about me and pulled my GPA up to about a 2.5 unweighted. im not proud of what i did and i definitely regret my lack of fore sight but what i am wondering is now that im 20 is it too late to go back to school? i was visiting open houses and i was speaking with juniors and seniors that were my age. I also never took my SAT or ACT and im wondering how i would go about getting those done or if i even need too at this point? Will schools simply throw out my application when they see my high school transcript? i want to go to art school to major in buisness of art design but im afraid i might not be able to get accepted anywhere let alone afford it without financial aid.
TL;DR: | i was a slacker in high school, do i still have a chance at college and financial assistance without a high gpa and no SAT or ACT |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex wants to get back together! Cool! But it gets a little complicated....
POST: Me 22, her 22
So my ex and i broke up after six months of dating two months ago. There was no problem with the relationship, but she broke up with me because of her issues with depression, saying that she hated herself and didn't feel worthy of me, etc.
Fast foreward to a week ago, and she calls me after two months of no contact, and said she missed me, couldnt stop thinking about me, and would love to see me, and that I was right about our relationship being able to work. Most importantly, she feels like she's worked out a lot of her issues. She basically said everything I dreamed of her saying short of straight up asking me to get back together.
I felt great! She calls me everyday since then, albeit a little less and the talk is a bit more casual. After a few days like this, I kind of return the favor and open up a bit, saying that I miss her and all that. This is where it starts getting a bit odd.
When I start opening up, she starts emotionally backing up, and gets a little frightened. She says that she sometimes gets scared of people she really loves, because she gets a bit antsy about how totally she devotes herself to them. I believe she has views like this due to her difficult past- she had a terrible father, a brother that molested her, really shitty boyfriends, etc.
By the end of that conversation, she said she'd like to take things slow and see where things go. I could tell, however, that she somewhat regretted pulling away a little bit. So the question is, what do I do from here? I have a girl I love who wants me back, but is wary of me reciprocating her emotions. What I'm doing now is just sitting tight and expecting a phone call again. How do I respect her emotional needs while telling her that I don't like living in this relationship limbo? And if possible, could anyone who's been where she has give me a glimpse as to what she's thinking right now?
TL;DR: | My ex, whom I love, reaches across 2 months of no contact to basically tell me she wants to get back together, but starts getting a little anxious when I start reciprocating her emotions. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How should I [23/m] ask her [27/f] out? She's temporarily(!) my psychologist
POST: I figured that I'm really into my (temporary) psychologist. She did some ADD related tests on me as well as anamnesis and a background check because she's an expert for ADD and my regular psychotherapist is not.
Next week I have my last appointment but I really want to find a way how to ask her out. I know you're going to say that I fell in love because she's a person who helps me etc. But I've spent the past few weeks thinking, dreaming and daydreaming every single day about her and I feel like these emotions are real.
Also, I've spent the past few years of my life missing opportunities and not really feeling alive, and I decided to just grab any chance I get...
I just need to find a way to ask her out that is not awkward or creepy
I posted this in r/advice some hours ago but unfortunately with some misleading information so the answers were not helpful.
You have to know, I really want to ask her out...Just looking for the proper way to do it.
TL;DR: | Fell in love with my temporary psychologist. Looking for a proper way how to ask her out at the last appointment, which is next week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] have started to fall for a girl [17M] but I'm having a hard time asking her out
POST: Hi, I'm new here and need some advice.
I met this girl 4 months ago (Let's call her beth), she knows I like her and we know a lot about each other, however i am not able to ask her if she wants to take things further and become official. I'm too frightened to actually let some one in my life after my ex-girlfriend of 2 years hurt me, made me feel worthless and ruined my confidence.
I'm not really sure what kind of questions to be asking Beth because im worried i'll scare her off. Would love some advice from this great community. I'm still young and inexperienced.
TL;DR: | Falling for a girl i've known for 4 month. Too scared to ask her out incase I scare her away. Need some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [18F] broke up with me [18M] after 8 months together, says she's already over me
POST: We've been together a little over 8 months, and I'm well aware that I got unnecessarily angry a little bit too often (though I've never raised my voice at her or hit her). She broke up with me over that literally less than a week ago, and I understand that though I wish it weren't that way. When I saw her today for the first time since, we talked, and basically she's fine, she's already over me and that she didn't even miss me at all, even though during our 8 months together, we were so close. We hadn't gone a single day without talking, literally. We'd spend every moment together, at her request.
So how can she already be over me when I'm already having the worst week of my life? How can I get over her? What should I do?
TL;DR: | She broke up with me after 8 great months together (with a few rough patches), and a week later she's already over me. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28F] first time being attracted to a poly couple [27F/31M], mixed feelings about whether to pursue triad
POST: I have been in monogamous relationships and poly relationships. In poly, I casually dated people who met my primary bf but were otherwise socially separate, and my bf didn't introduce me to his other gf (at my request, I can sometimes be intimidated and socially awkward around beautiful women) but talked to me about their dates.
I recently became friends with an attractive guy, and after spending much time with him and his fiancee I have found myself attracted to both of them as more than platonic. I know they are attracted to me, but I haven't directly expressed my feelings, and here's why:
When I meet an attractive person and then find out they're in a relationship it turns off my attraction receptors. (I'm from an area where poly is uncommon, so it's usually assumed they're in a monogamous relationship where flirtation is considered rude at best or even infidelity.) This couple has experience with triads and threesomes, and they're totally fine showing PDA with their "other" around each other; I have no experience here. When they talk about their sex life it triggers my platonic feelings.
I also find it easier to spend a lot of time with this guy [31M] than his fiancee [27F] because I'm an introvert who can relax quietly with someone for long periods while she's much more socially engaging which I enjoy bit can only endure for a few hours a week. She admits to being a bit insecure and jealous about her SO dating women, so I worry about how I'd balance attention between them.
I'm not sure how to navigate my feelings and I'm looking for some perspective.
TL;DR: | Attracted to guy and woman in a poly primary relationship with each other. No experience with a triad and looking for perspective to make sense of my feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So, just hypothetically, if you were to spill coffee all over a laptop <.< how would you clean it?
POST: Now, of course I would never be so careless <.< But just hypothetically... Luckily it stayed away from the important bits, as best I can tell (this happened late at night, didn't even know about it til morning, and the laptop still runs fine) but I take my coffee with a fair bit of sugar (black, thankfully, in the context) so there's some stickiness on the keyboard. I'm mostly thanking my lucky stars that I didn't short anything out, but I do want to clean it. My understanding is that I should be able to safely wipe it down (unplugged, battery removed) with alcohol, but I'm also wondering how best to clean under the keys? Can I pop keys off of a laptop (Aspire One, if it matters) and re attach, like you could with older desktop keyboards, or would that be breaking the keys off? Special tool needed? There's a place in town I could send to get it cleaned, probably pretty cheaply, but other than *under* the keys I *think* I get how to do it - just figured I'd check for advice first.
TL;DR: | Spilled sugary coffee on a laptop, luckily it didn't short anything out, but now there's stickiness on and under the keys; best way to clean? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Looking for ways to convince my [21/F] housemate [24/M] to let me get a cat.
POST: To expand on the title; I rent a room in a big 5 bedroom house with one other person.
I confirmed with the landlord and he doesn't have an issue for me to be getting a cat at all, as long as my housemate is ok with it...
That being the main issue.
We are on ok terms, we had a falling out about 3 months ago and he never was willing to bring back the friendship.
I have been looking for and thinking about getting a cat for about 6 months now; and he had no issue beforehand.
I know he likes cats and isn't allergic to them.
The cat that I am looking to adopt is 2 years old and fully trained; I am also a responsible person and have experience of taking care of the cat.
I don't expect him to have any responsibility in terms of feeding, etc.
On another note: He has a pet snake; I know it's not quite a cat, but he didn't require getting anyone's permission.
I am planning to speak to him tomorrow morning (possibly send a message) about this.
Anyone have any idea how I should go about this and what I should certainly include?
TL;DR: | I am serious about adopting a cat, need help as to how convince my flatmate to agree (with no strings attached) :) |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by allowing a disabled man to get dressed
POST: So today I went to see an urologist, as I had a frenuplasty scheduled, since my "Banjo string" was too tight.
I was called in from the waiting room to get a shot of local anesthesia in the area. That went somehow awkward, but without any trouble. Then, the doctor told me to sit in the waiting room for 30 minutes and, in his words, "Wait for the magic to happen".
After those 30 minutes, I was told that there was a disabled man in the surgery room, and he was taking his time getting dressed due to him being in a wheelchair. As I had already pointed out to the doctor i was rather busy, I was told that the disabled man could be rolled into another room, since I was busy. I rejected this, as I wouldn't want a disabled man to go through more trouble than necessary. BIG MISTAKE.
After 45 minutes, I was finally called in for surgery. As i laid there, butt naked on the surgery table, the doctor started smalltalking with me while preparing the area for, what would be, the most painful experience of my life.
As he started cutting the string, i felt the pain of a thousand burning suns. I screamed so loud, the entire waiting room must have heard it. The doctor was bafled, rang some kind of bell, and nurses rushed with different syringes and what not. It's all still kind of blurry to me. The pain was so intense i thought he had cut off my manhood, and naturally, i was terrified. In a state of shock, I was then injected with several shots of anesthesia and painkillers.
Turns out, while waiting for the disabled man to get dressed, the local anesthesia had worn off completely. I had taken a knife to the D "Au' natural". The doctor appologized profusely afterwards, and it's first now, on the 11th hour after the surgery, that I can begin to fathom what really went down.
TL;DR: | Let a disabled man get dressed, ended up losing the effect of anesthetics and got my banjo string cut "Au natural" and thus experienced a pain that no man should ever have to endure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: how do you explain to your parents that the world works differently than it did when they were younger? what kinda stuff don't your parents understand?
POST: i live in a huge metro city. a one bedroom apartment in a nice area is about $2,250 a month on average. a one bedroom apartment in a not so nice area is about $1,000 a month on average. right now i live in a one bedroom in a not so nice area and pay $900 a month so a little below average.
my parents hate the area i live in. they say it's dangerous and the apartment is crappy and i need to move. i don't like my apartment or area too much but it's what i can afford so it's where i live. my parents are coming up this weekend to visit and want to look at nicer apartments in nicer areas.
but at the same time they tell me i pay too much and should find a cheaper place! they say that paying anything more than $500 a month is ridiculous. i keep trying to tell them that this is a huge city and that it is literally impossible to find a nice new apartment in a nice area for $500 a month or less. that does not exist.
i pointed out to my parents that the places they want to look at this weekend are between $2,000 and $3,000 a month and that i can't afford to live there. my mom said "when i first graduated college my apartment was only $140 a month!" well mom, you got your first apartment in 1970, the world is different now.
TL;DR: | my parents expect me to find a new apartment in a nice area in a huge metro city for less than $500 a month because their first place in 1970 was only $140 a month |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M/F] with my girlfriend [17 M/F] of just above a year, told me she loves me but is not in love with me
POST: Me and my girlfriend have recently just passed 1 year and a month, but we've been having trouble over a few months. None the less I still love her, though recently she told me that she loves, but is not in love with me. I'm confused and heart broken, I don't know what to do. I honestly feel devastated.
We are still together, but I suspect it wont be for much longer. Are there any tips as to what I should do? How I could possibly get her to fall back in love with me, or should I just leave? I don't want things to end between me and her because she makes me happy.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of a year told me she loves me but is not in love with me, I don't know what to do. Please help. |
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