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I passed a test with only studying the day before pm: i get back from school and start studying pm: i should fake getting some sleep else my dad isn't gonna like :am:the fake sleep worked a little too well :am:stop studying as I know everything :am:time to go to school :am:get the test paper,read it quickly,i think I can answer all the question Days later: fucking / i don't know how i pulled that one | non-suicide |
I dont feel alone. I am aloneIm in the prime of my life, Im in college, surrounded by people my age all day every day. Yet I do not have a single friend. I think people assume Im exaggerating whenever I say that, but I literally do not have one friend. I havent for years. I dont click with literally anybody. Im mad at the world because of this but I know that it is also just my fault. Doesnt make me hate my life any less, and I dont feel as though it is in my control to change that. Imagine the effect *years* of being completely alone has on a person... I think its hard to fully appreciate how detrimental and traumatizing this really is. Feeling hopeless, really. Always. | suicide |
Living life with bpd isnt worth itThis isnt going to be the most articulate post but I just want to let this out Im done living with this fucking disease. Im traveling the US over the summer for a fellowship for my career and Im absolutely depressed. Im feel like an idiot. I cant ever hold down a long term relationship or job. I want to die. I want to hang myself when I get back home. I want to die. My gf dumped me because I told her I have bpd. Today is her birthday and I want to wish her happy birthday but that would be a bad idea. I want to die. Fuck. Im so pathetic. Im so stupid. Im going to take classes for the next two semesters so I can graduate college in years. I want to die. I want to die. I cant get better. Fuck!!! | suicide |
Why do boys like being called daddy? Like thats cool and great, but I dont understand why? Edit, I know most guys dont please stop Im sorry | non-suicide |
I've been fantasizing about killing myself since I was years old and I think it's timeI'm a year old girl, my life is very average and to be honest most of my problems aren't as worth it and rough to be mentioned. I've struggled with an eating disorder since I was , my suicidal thoughts have been around since I can remember and there's nothing I can do to keep them away from my mind; no one has ever noticed any of that, not even my parents. I like to think that this is due to my "pretending to be ok" skills but deep down I know is because nobody really gives a shit about me, again, not even my parents. Every single decision that I've made since I was conscious about my bad mental state has been made in order to get better and experience happiness for once in my life. Nothing seems to work out, I can't even bother to fuck things up because there's no good thing at all around me, everything is fucked up already and no one really cares about me. To be clear, I know that I'm going to eventually kill myself. I have no idea how, when and where but I just know that I am going to do it one way or another. The only thing that haunts me is the fact that my self-induced death will represent a major trauma in my friends' lives and will scar my parents forever. I absolutely don't want that, I just want to go in peace knowing that no one will be hurt in the process or afterwards. Maybe my life will get better in a couple of years, maybe if I try harder on therapy somethings will start to go the right way in my life, but the emotions that I've been dealing with for the past couple of years are just too painful, my god they are. Only thing I can do is pray that there's no other type of life after death because I ain't willing to breathe anymore after I take my own life, that and distancing myself from everyone so that they find easier to face my death when I eventually commit it. I know this hole text can sound overwhelmingly condescending and typical in a depressed teen, and I'm sorry for that but I can't take it anymore. I'm going to wait til my birthday for my final decision even though I'm % sure I'll eventually kill myself. Thanks for reading me, I'll let y'all know | suicide |
me listening to songs on repeat until I hate them and then I do that for literally every song and now i hate my own playlist | non-suicide |
I feel like a shit personBack in February, I was in a hypomanic state. I cheated. I've deeply regretted it ever since. My huaband and I have been trying to work through it. I've been getting help and trying out meds, trting to get stable, even before the hypomanic state. Oh and I was just diagnosed with bipolar right before I messed up. Ever since, I've been having nightmares and flashbacks. Sometimes, I'm so messed up by the nightmares and flashbacks, that I feel physically sick and cannot bear my husband touching me. My therapist told me on Monday that I'm suffering from trauma (my hypomanic affair). She said if its affecting my life, I might want to talk to the doctor about something called prazosin. Its a drug for ptsd. It is affecting my life. I can't have sex with my husband. He's getting real upset and hurt over it, taking it personally. He just got done flipping out on me. I told him I would take the drug if he wanted me to. His response was "Oh yeah go in there and say 'are there any pills that will make me want to touch my husband again?'" And he doesn't seem to want to go to couples therapy about it. He did say what the hell can anyone do about it? He's taking it personally and doesn't think anything will change. I wish he had more faith, though I can't blame him for feeling like this. God, I feel like just disappearing. I feel like such shit so often, and I can't stand hurting him anymore... | suicide |
I have a completed plan. Now it's just matter of when.I know it'll be soon. I'm just too tired. I have an therapist apointment coming in two days. Have to see if that helps, probably not. I'm gonna go right after. No waiting after that. I went years without help, and now when I finally have help they can't even do their jobs. | suicide |
Those with the taste for some harder music [Goth] [GOTH BITCH]( | non-suicide |
It is too easy to buy a gun in my stateThe only restriction my state has is that in order to carry a handgun in public you must have a license. If I really wanted to which I have been debating the past day or two I found out all I have to do is wait a few days for my background check to clear (which it will) and I can buy a handgun since I'm over . But hell I could have done this with a shotgun a few years ago since as long as you are over you can just fucking buy one of those. I have never googled buying a gun before but I have been pretty low the past week and it makes me scared how easy this is. I'm afraid that I might just buy one and kill myself with it. I'm just fucking tired of trying so hard to be alive. | suicide |
Rough dayIts been a long time since I felt this bad. But I feel terrible and worthless... I used to feel this way a lot and had been doing better for years, but now I had a rough night, and its like Im back to square one... | suicide |
I lost my year old Minecraft world Ive been playing Minecraft for years. Its a huge part of my childhood. I remember how excited I was when horses were added. Ive made a lot of friends on there and its a different pain knowing Ill never play with them again because of my older sister who used to find my best worlds and delete them. I made a world in . I spawned on an island. I made a hotel so high it reached the limit. I had hundreds of massive houses all in a line with backyards. I improved the village. I added public bathrooms with working toilets. I made colourful,unique buildings and they were stores or cafes or pubs or orphanages,pools,fisherman places,a school,Aquariums,hospitals,police stations with German Shepard, I had cat/dog/ferret/hamster/parakeet and parrot cafes. Adoption centers,customized banners with countries,lgbt flags,a zoo, large bridges that lead to the ice biome so you could look above the polar bears. Farms that were huge. A witch castle. An ikea with furniture. I made my own texture pack and it was beautiful. So when I got kicked off and went back on,only to find myself in survival,my inventory empty and in the middle of the ocean, I felt awful. I had a graveyard with the names of my old Minecraft friends so Id never forget them,since I have severe memory issues. A huge piece of my childhood just got ripped out. I got attached to that world. I had a section dedicated to little memories of my childhood. I made it because Ive forgotten my whole childhood except for the bad things so I made the section because then at least Id be able to remember some of it. And Ive lost it all | non-suicide |
I cant remember the last day I didnt think about killing myselfI know I would never do it and that just makes me hate myself even more :( | suicide |
The darkness has passed. This morning is bright.Hey SW reddit, just a status update. Its been a long time since I posted, about a year I think, but what really matters is what happened in my life. It happened when I was in my room, depressed, and my bro came in and he talked to me. All he did was talk. I forgot most of it by now, but he said that "you should just snap out of it, because it was so unlike you." Compared to the 'nice' treatment I was getting from others, this was completely unexpected, and yet it moved me. I don't even know why, but I felt better slowly after that. I got out of the slump that I was in and I got my life back on track. My grades are looking better, I've gotten a job and I picked up new hobbies and new friends. I even started waking up every morning and looking up to the black sky and seeing how far I'd come since then. The feeling is exhilarating- to be free of something that I felt like I would never escape. SW Reddit, you carry a hard job. It is amazing that you can deal with so much pain and suffering, and yet still be so supportive. After reading through some posts, I felt moved to write these two words out. "Continue. Living." | suicide |
I need help Im having an existential crisis I think Im racist but im not sure cause I have black friend but sometimes when Im near black people i think it stink and like years ago I was e dating someone my age and when I discovered she was black I stop talking to her.......help with all the shit going on Im scared getting judged for being racist | non-suicide |
Im proud of myself And im proud of you. You have done an incredible job! | non-suicide |
I feel it creeping up on me again. year old female here. I thought I was finally okay, but I guess depression never truly goes away. So here I am seeking an internet friend to talk to since I sadly don't have many friends in the outside world, and the friends that I do have don't know about my..history. Four suicide attempts, a couple of ER visits, and four inpatient hospital stays in the looney bin. Self harm and suicide have been on my mind constantly. I just want someone to talk to that understands. I really just need a friend. | suicide |
im stressed, depressed, tired and its snowing again Does anyone talk with me? | non-suicide |
My first wet dream had really really bad timing st, I need to include some background info... My girlfriend of . years is going into college for musical theater, so in order to get into college theres tons of auditions she has to go through and its super stressful. She also has a job and is taking relatively difficult classes in school. So knowing all of this, I backed down and settled for only hanging out with her on weekends, sometimes every other weekend. (I was also taking at home learning, while she was in person) So there was relatively little to no contact between us, aside from our nightly calls. Well out of nowhere, around Christmas, she asked if we could take a break as she was super stressed out. I said ok, as she said it would only be a week and she had tons of work to do. I didnt mind as I just want her to be happy. Well weeks went by and I got to thinking, I was happy, I felt great, and the only reason I would feel stressed about our relationship was if I felt guilty or if I was cheating... So I approached her and asked, and she admitted that she had maybe started feeling something for one of her coworkers. Fuck. Ok, Im not upset, I can see how spending - hours with someone times a week might make you feel something towards them, especially if you never see your current partner. I explained how I wasnt mad, but she didnt tell be about any issue, and now that I know I can start spending more time with her. Plus, Im in person now for school so Ill start seeing her and talking to her daily. She accepted these points but wanted to decide if she wanted to continue with me or start something with her coworker... Fuck x. Well its been days, and every. single. day. Ive had a wet dream about her... wtf? I never get them! Why now! Why does my body have to bring it up right when Im hurting the most. TLDR: My dumb stupid horny teenage brain kicks me when Im down Note: I think I have a good chance of getting back with her, weve never had a big argument and I treat her wonderfully. Though Im having a hard time competing with someone she sees so frequently. Also Im hoping none of my friends see this, but if they do, Hi, Thomas | non-suicide |
I m a failure. I fail at everything and anything.Everything I try I fail in. Name it and I have failed so many times at it. Cooking? Shit where do I even start. Yesterday I tried baking a pizza with the cardboard still on. Driving: oh wait Im and I dont drive. Ive gotten my permit twice but I havent been able to fix my car because I dont know how. Chess? I cant even beat the easy computer consistently. Ordering food? Yup Im that idiot friend you have that forgot the pepperonis on the pizza he ordered that one time. Videogames: all of them. I rarely win at any game. Even in single player games I somehow am able to just fail all the time. I spend so many hours on videogames and I even practice on aim trainer yet, Im completely horrible at any multiplayer game. Cleaning my room: I cant be consistent. Sex: oh you bet Ive failed at that a lot of times. Shit I cant even do some positions. Working out: oh yea Ill do it tomorrow. Writing papers for school: takes me about hours to write a page paper. Fuck me. Reading a book: trust me I guarantee you read faster than me. I timed myself yesterday and it took me an hour to read pages. Shows you how truly fast I am. Controlling my anger: I punched my wall the other day because of some dude calling me a bitch on Battlefield . Ironically, he was right. Writing this post: I cant even remember what the point of this post was. Look, Im just depressed as hell. I dont want to kill myself. But sometimes my mind brings me to a dark place. Whenever I fail at one thing, I do try to shrug it off and let it go. But I fail consistently across many things that are so small in my life that it makes me feel stupid. My friends always call me stupid and they know Im not smart. I dont even like myself at all. How can someone have hope in their life, when they dont believe in themselves? | suicide |
To those learning online: how is it so far? Many of us, if not all, have begun school- so I thought to ask how's 'life' with distance learning here. (And have you adjusted to the setting? If so, how so?) | non-suicide |
I'm kinda happy with myself. M I just cried for the first time in what feels like forever. I'd been struggling for a while with not being able to even shed a tear but I was finally able. Thanks for listening to my short story. | non-suicide |
?No matter how good a life I live how happy I am I focus in on every bad decision I ever made. I feel like I'm the reason my parents are at there throats and I don't even live there anymore am I that terrible of a person is this why I have a sex addictionand need for social interaction whenever I think of these things I just don't want to live. Maybe it's the thought of having kids that drives me forward. I get tired of getting help from my friends they don't mind but that's not how I want to be remembered life's getting less and less easy the thoughts are more frequent. I visualize how I die and what kind of things I'd leave to be said idk. With great friends I still feel all alone | suicide |
Yes I know, being an adult and everything is hard, but... have you ever had the struggle to decide whom to invite to your Birthday Party as a child? | non-suicide |
I don't have control over my body anymoreEvery month/every other month right before my period is due I feel really, really suicidal. I feel it taking over my body, my thoughts, my mind, my actions. I can't take it anymore. Meds don't help. I tried to crash my car a couple times today. I'm so fucking sick of my life. | suicide |
I guess I'm a bad friendWhen I manage to get even those who stuck with me to leave because I literally have no personality. My worst fear is being lonely and here I am, lying in my bed all day. All because I'm afraid of other people and have been for years now. I'm not gonna survive this summer. | suicide |
My phone screen app icon's are burned into my eyes. Yup, thats it, i broke my fucking eyes | non-suicide |
('') YOU ALREADY KNOW IT u should smile bc ur a special human and theres no one like u! * (no im not special...i am nothing)* yes u are, do not let the mean voice overtake the voice of truth be kind to urself, we all go thru the bad times but its our responsibility to keep the positive mindset, hope u hv a great morning/afternoon/evening/night (u`)* * | non-suicide |
I think I am going to kill myself year old male here I don't know my father, he left when I was years old. He was a negligent, disconnected alcoholic. When I was a kid my mom used to abuse me relentlessly. She would beat me with belts and extension chords, and punch me in the face and tell me I'm stupid, and burned me with cigarettes a few times. It's taken me years to pay off student loan debt for a degree that is completely useless. I live in poverty, and just hurt my knee a month ago, so now I can't even do the manual labour jobs I used to to get by. Everything just seems completely hopeless. I have no clue what I am doing, I am totally atomised, I have no family and no support. I live pay check to pay check because cause of living is so high, that even though I work hours I week I am just barely scraping by. Whenever I start to get ahead something bad happens. months ago I had to shell out over dollars to get my car fixed. I needed a new control arm, plus new tires, plus alignment and a tow. Now I need a new muffler, and to pass an emission test, or I cannot legally drive to work when my knee gets better. I am grinding like a mad man, but shelling out for physio therapy to get my knee fixed is costing me a ton, but if I don't do it then I'll be laid up in bed for months and then I won't be able to work, and then I won't be able to pay rent. I have $ in my bank account that needs to last my the rest of the month. Life is just exhausting. I work as hard as I can. But I can never pull myself out of this pit. I'm not sad or anything, just hopeless. Not depressed, just stuck. There is no escape for me. | suicide |
California has too many pot holes and we need to fix them Weed should be legal everywhere not just some counties | non-suicide |
Advices neededHi, I've been posting here for or times ish and since after my last appointment with my psychiatrist, I've been doing better, or at least i hope. I've been working extra every day for weeks and since i love my job, it's not a huge issue and i get along better with my colleagues. The only issue is when i went back home for my holiday. Usually I've always been scared of it, not because of my bullies or the bad memories that lingers on (it's been resolved a bit with emdr) but because of the family stuff. I have quite an active personality that i made up for myself as a way to not be bullied again. The thing is that whenever i go back, i always have trouble with my family when it comes to my look. My dad says i look like a hideous freak and he's disappointed to see me. Everyone says that they have to suffer from troubles since the day i came back. I know that i need to fix my look. It's so easy to do so. It just that I'm so used to not being worried about looking bad since the day i came to The Netherlands. It's just a hairstyle, but it defined me and makes me feel happier and more confident. I just have a lot of thoughts going on again and I don't ever want to go back to the clinic. I'm just so confused about my identity and who I really am. | suicide |
Century long debate finally resolved The glass is half empty if it was full before The glass is half full if it was empty before No need to thank me | non-suicide |
I cantIm beyond done. I dont think I can go on. I feel beyond awful. My relationship just failed so badly and its my fault. I dont see a point in continuing. I wont ever forgive myself or move past this. I needed a push to make me follow through, just like I did last time, and I feel like this could be it. Not for a few days but, I cant forgive myself. The world doesnt need me. I feel empty. | suicide |
I Hate MyselfI just ate. I want to make myself throw up. I feel horrible today. No one notices. I think theres a demon in my brain. Im ignoring all my phone calls. I wouldnt be surprised if today was my last day. I just want to disappear. | suicide |
Fuck my life and dabbingI fucked up dabbing and broke the piece. I feel like shit. Fuck me, i want to die | suicide |
I feel unbearably lonelyHello, well I've been depressed since sophomore year (October of ), I've attempted suicide at least three times, and was admitted to a psych institute February of . I started feeling better, but around the start of junior year I started to feel horrible again (also, my bf went back out with his ex girlfriend so that contributed to the depression). I was raped in October, and my parents found out, so I got even sadder. My boyfriend and I got back together, which made things better for a little while. But he never seems to care about whenever I'm feeling sad or suicidal. Whenever he's sad I do whatever I can to help. But if I'm crying or feeling hopeless, he brushes it off. So most of the time I just keep my feelings to myself. Anyway, it's on a daily basis that I find myself on the ground, bawling, nearly hyperventilating from crying so much. I have literally no one to talk to about how I feel. I don't cut anymore, but I hit myself to feel some sort of relief. My parents won't put me on antidepressants, and my therapist doesn't help. I'm constantly fantasizing about my suicide. I find comfort in planning it out in my head, and I'm also comforted by the fact that I could kill myself whenever I feel the need to. I know I'm young, I know I have life ahead of me, but I can't take daily breakdowns much longer. It's becoming unbearable, and I just feel physically exhausted from living. I'm not even completely sure why I posted here. I guess because I used to find comfort in posting here (old account) and I even made a friend once. I'm sorry for all of the text, I just needed a way to clear my head. | suicide |
anyone taking AP classes? im taking euro and our whole grade is basically dependent on tests how college level | non-suicide |
HelpIm and my brain wants me to kill myself. I dont want to kill myself at all. I feel so scared right now. I want to call a hotline or something but I dont want something to happen that would get my parents involved in this. I dont want them to know this about me. I dont trust them. Please someone just talk to me I dont even know what I want anyone to say I am just scared | suicide |
I want to goApologise for the over dramatic title, but put simply, I want to go. I don't have a tragic backstory or anything but for the longest time I've known that I don't belong in this 'realm'. I'm just counting down the days until I'm gone. I know its selfish and all the rest, and that they won't understand why I wanted to do it. But I know its gonna happen. It's all I think about. | suicide |
Is it just me Well is it just me or is anyone else not feeling Christmas this year like the Christmas vibes aren't here | non-suicide |
I slipped so quickly...About a week an a half ago I was a normal boy. Well, years old, maybe you'd say man, whatever. And then all of a sudden I started to question whether or not I had Gender Dysphoria. For those who don't know, that means that I really feel like a woman, like I should be a woman. I'm prone to self-reflection, so all the pieces fell in place, so suddenly. I remembered every single fucking time I thought "Wow that girl is pretty I wish I could be like her," and quickly dismissed the thought. I remembered that I daydreamed about having shapeshifting powers just so I could be a girl. I remembered every single fucking time I thought I wished I was a girl and then pushed that thought away. I can't deny to myself that this is who I am, but I wish so, so fucking hard that it wasn't. And now, a mere week and a half later, I really, really want to kill myself. I thought I had suicidal tendencies when I was younger but that was a joke compared to right now. I never knew how real these thoughts could be. I guess on some level I want people to tell me not to do it, otherwise I wouldn't be posting here, but....I don't know who I am. I never thought I'd be capable of committing suicide, but I'm broken into so many pieces right now that the only thing I can do is stare at a computer screen and slap myself. I have to see everyone so much. My friends and my family. None of them know anything. How could they, when even I didn't know? Everyone is straight and normal, and if I killed myself and wrote a letter explaining why, they would all cry at my funeral but secretly be glad that they didn't have to deal with my shit for years on end. And no, don't fucking tell me that they would "actually" miss me, you don't know them! I know them! I just don't know myself. EDIT: Hey everyone. I just wanted to say that I loved reading your comments on here, they really helped me to feel better. I've been spending some more time with friends and stuff, and even though they don't know my darkest secret, they still managed to make me feel really good. Crisis averted for now. You people are doing good work. | suicide |
My girlfriend cheated on me with my brotherMy girlfriend cheated on me with my brother im so fucking done I dont want to live anymore im just a peice of shit im just a fat ugly dumbass GOODBYE | suicide |
Whats a good IG caption for an th birthday? Please give me all the ideas you have. I want to see the good stuff. Thanks in advance. | non-suicide |
I'm not spamming my survey, I just forgot to make it public. If you could take my survey about how metal music makes you feel for my school I would appreciate it! [ | non-suicide |
No motivation anymore kill me kill me kill meIve had anxiety as long as I can remember and depression I was diagnosed awhile back though maybe or years ago and I just dont feel right anymore I tried to get help for awhile I took medicine and regularly saw a consoler but in those years everything has fallen apart the medicine gave me side effects and I got scared and stopped taking them I later gained a fear of taking pills and then my consoler moved to another office one that my insurance didnt cover and I slowly lost all my friends and my only friend (my girlfriend) broke up with me a couple months ago said we were on break and I call her two months later and she decided she could never be with me romantically again and already has someone new and now it feels like I have nobody I can barley shower or get out of bed anymore cause of everything my grades are terrible and Im too stupid to get anything right Im talentless and have no passion in life I used to enjoy reading sometimes and doodling but now I just get mad I feel sad and mad everyday I feel like Im going to freak out and punch something I hate my shitty school consoler I hate the teachers who think Im lazy I hate my mom for thinking Im lazy Im mad mad mad mad mad I feel like punching myself in the face most days I feel so utterly lonely someone kill me | suicide |
Feeling LostI was with a man for years. We had our ups and downs. Truthfully, more downs. I hung in there as long as I could. Moved, out of state, to be with him. It just didn't work. I moved back home. Within THREE weeks, he connected with a woman he dated years ago..his first true love. I hurt like hell. Guess he was never really into me...I don't know if I have the energy to start all over. Tired..emotionally, mentally and spiritually. | suicide |
My year old friend that is a girl just asked me if I would be affected if she wasn't around. Might be jumping the gun but she's not the happiest person so what can I do to help her?I don't see her in person that much but flirt with her through text. I do tell her I lover her (not too literally but don't get hung up on this). I do like her but have made on advances to dating her and she's given me mixed signals so I just let it slide. Anyways, she is asking me how I would feel with her gone and I told her I wouldn't have anyone like her to talk to. I told her I loved her even if I don't know what that means exactly but I do care about her very much. So what can I really say or do to let her know if she was gone that things would not be the same, even with someone who she barely gets to see anyways. | suicide |
Why live anymore?Honestly fuck love and having feelings. I just try and care about people and then they just push me away and so I try and come back and they end up just ignoring me. I am so done with everything. trying is pointless | suicide |
I'm really upset So yesterday I wanted to buy a lightsaber in the store, but my mom said I wasnt allowed to buy one so I was sad. But today I was looking through her closet and found her purple lightsaber, but I think it's a special one with knobs to look cooler... | non-suicide |
Does anyone have experience with being hospitalized or committed?I'm in a messy place right now. I wish I were dead but am probably too cowardly to do anything about it. But I kind of want help/intervention. I'm isolated in my current location (FL) besides my husband (who is not a mentally healthy resource). Parents won't let me move back home. I am a vet if it matters. Advice/encouragement/hugs welcome. I just feel sad and alone. | suicide |
Im not sure if Im going to survive a whole year.Ive just felt like garbage for so long and Ive tried to improve but have failed at every turn. Im still a piece of trash and a waste of space. Im starting my senior year of college in a couple weeks and the thought crossed my mind, what should I do after that? And honestly I havent thought about it for so long because I never thought I would live this long. I thought I would have finally toughened up and just offed myself a long time ago. And honestly Im still not sure Im gonna make it that long. I feel safe today and now but Im not sure I can make it through a year of being me anymore. | suicide |
Some of my problems. I'm alone, I'm so alone . While one of my friend is texting only with his flirt , someone always studying . I have no girlfriend, I'm not handsome, lessons, uhh , lessons. In short, my life is like shit | non-suicide |
I found my old Reddit account after like million years!! Big gae | non-suicide |
Staying alive for my crisis counsoler?Short version: I have a crush on my counsoler. But I'm ready to die. I can't stop thinking about how He would feel, all the guilt, blame and anger.... I just know that when this obsession passes, I won't have a reason to live. I need a better reason than a false fantasy to be here. I feel like all my power has been taken away from me. I can have *suicide method* in my hand but I can't will myself to do it. I feel like a caged animal. In the past before and during suicide I have experienced great happiness and freedom. I want my freedom back, at least the option... I also wish there was a non creepy way to tell him thank you, and for him to know his impact. (Not my feelings for him lol)... If I do kill myself, I'll probably email him a goodbye hoping it would help? ..I'll be dead so what do I have to lose? | suicide |
Anyone wanna chat? I'm just boring so feel free to dm me. I'm basically open to talk about anything. And um... yeah... | non-suicide |
Anyone like some fat lumpy dumpy plump double decker patty wacking boy booty? Cause it's my favorite thing not gonna | non-suicide |
IM GOING TO BED EVERYONE SAY GN TO ME IM A RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING WHO IS GOING TO BED AAAAAAA | non-suicide |
Do I have to hang myselfCould someone technically tie something around their neck tight enough so they suffocate Last time I tried to hang myself my wall just broke I'm too fucking fat basically So could I just tie a shoelace tight around my neck and hope for the best I dont want your comments trying to save me They are pointless rn | suicide |
People : dream of world peace My dream last night : I dropped my phone in a puddle and my best friends dad was swimming and the puddle and I asked him to get it for me and he said no so I jumped into the puddle with him to get it myself and drowned | non-suicide |
I tried to kill myself last nightI cant tell anyone so I'm gonna tell you | suicide |
A Suicide Note to My DaughterEvery day Im faced with the worst decision Ive ever had to think about. Do I continue to live with this disease and run the risk of contaminating my daughter, or do I leave her behind knowing that one day shell think to herself that she wasnt enough to keep me alive? How would I tell her that she could never possibly do anything wrong, but that I couldnt continue to be miserable and just hope that she would never notice? Is there anything I could say that would help her understand that Im sick and cant get better? I dont want to leave her, but I cant poison her like my mother did to me. I dont ever want her to feel the way I do right this moment. | suicide |
i'd love to restcan i just end it now and not think that would be sweet. i don't feel like dealing with this bullshit fake life that i live fuck this | suicide |
I need some help- can any trans (especially non-binary but binary trans people Id appreciate input from aswell) whove come out fully publicly tell me about it? Im not exactly asking for coming out tips- Ive heard a lot of the same ones; dont rush yourself, respect your boundaries, practice coming out, what Im asking is how do people even come out publicly. Did you just wear a pronoun pin one day? Did you tell all your teachers? Did you walk around the halls to spread the word to as many people as possible? Did you just talk to friends? And, if youve come out, how well did it go? Do most people still just see you as your AGAB? Do people misgender you out of spite or because they never heard/forgot? It would really help to hear someones story. | non-suicide |
any gals, must be like -, who want to talk on discord? im a lesbian, it doesnt have to be a relationship. but maybe it could blossom lmao. | non-suicide |
Hello.My long distance friend attempted suicide yesterday, but she was able to call the prevention hotline before she hurt herself. She's bad right now as well. What should I do? She told me she is currently considering suicide again... | suicide |
I need help. Please... and scaredI've been suicidal for about years. I had a brief period of 'normal life.' I was on antidepressants, school was going well, and I got married. Everything has fallen apart. I'm so alone. I became addicted to IV drugs, and now my husband is in jail because he is too. My mom berated me last night about how terrible I've become. Twice in the last two days, I've taken a lot of drugs, not caring if I'd ever wake up or not. | suicide |
I want to, but my kid says he'll "go Columbine"Dealing with depression since age and I'm now. I'm just exhausted from it all. I am also the parent of a -year-old kid with depression struggles of his own. His father died several years ago, so it's just me. One time my kid said, "If anything ever happened to you, I'd go Columbine." So I guess nothing can happen to me. The brain weasels of my depression now feel even worse. I certainly can't cause a school massacre. So I'm stuck and I have to just get up and struggle through day after day after day with no relief. | suicide |
How do you guys deal with stress regarding the future? Like i get stressed over distopia futures and if it will happen and crap and i wanna know if anyone has any way to cope with it | non-suicide |
I'm sorry and goodbyeI can't do this anymore. I had a panic attack last night and my mother just verbally abused me and threatened me to lock me up in an asylum, so i'd rather die now than spend the rest of my life locked up just for being depressed. Thank you all for being so kind with me, even if my time here was short. I hope we can meet again someday in our next lives, and stay strong. Don't make the same mistake as me. Goodbye. | suicide |
Can only love life when buzzed or tipsy...life's not worth living.too many chronic mental health problems...it guess it's better to die...idk. | suicide |
Coal chamber be slappin harder Fillerfillerfillerfillerfiller | non-suicide |
One year anniversary! I love my boyfriend so much!!! He calls me sweet names like "Get out of my house", "Stalker" and "How did you find me??" He's so playful, he runs away from me every time I see him, and he hides from me too :) He even filed a restraining order against me as a prank (obviously!) Such a funny guy!! The restraining order expires today, on our year anniversary! I'll visit his window at night like I always do, and he'll probably scream in happiness! So happy for us :)) | non-suicide |
If abortion is murder Then nutting and throwing the nut away is serial killing And a sperm bank is a concentration camp | non-suicide |
tfw you accidentally stay up all night haha it do be am and it do be getting bright in my room please send help i am so tired | non-suicide |
incel or simp? i am an incel and i would rather stay an incel than be a simp... anyone else share this opinion or nah? | non-suicide |
Please help meI've had depersonalization for almost months now after a marijuana induced panic attack. It's been chronic / with no moments of clarity. I've done all of the following: regular exercise, healthy diet, socializing, no caffeine and sugar, staying sober, and i've been taking college classes. But nothing seems to be working, i feel like an alien on Mars and I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm literally living for the sake of existence. Advice? | suicide |
I hate myself. I cant even kill myself.I've been having treatment and taking meds for a while now. Its always the same thing. I feel better and then I want to die again. But as I'm too much of a coward to actually just jump or just take the whole damn bottle suicide isn't a realistic option. So I end up just asking for something to kill me outloud for hours on end. I have friends I talk with when I feel down but I feel like it drags them down and it doesn't seem to help me as I end up spiraling the same way down as I always do. I dont even think theres a point to me writing this. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I've failed at everything in my life and I'm such a useless piece of shit that I can't even end it all. | suicide |
It's less like I want to die but more like I don't want to feel anything any more. But death is one way to go. why? I don't know where where else to go.Life is absurd. As there is no god or intrinsic reason for life there is no reason to live. I've tried to "imagine Sisyphus happy" but if I can't. If I can't stand against the absurdity of life then why should I live? I've tried to make myself unable to think of this but I cant. So much for alcohol killing brain cells. I know it's healthier to want to live and feel so something must be wrong with me. What is it? Help. I don'st want to do something wrong. | suicide |
I'm preparing to walk to the bridge right now. I think I'm doneI just don't think I can do this anymore. I'm sorry I've failed everyone. I just can't keep fighting anymore. I've lost. I'm such a horrible, horrible person. I just wanna end it so nobody will have to be cursed with my presence any longer. No matter what I do, I'll always be at death's door. I don't think I'll ever change. Because I am weak-minded and not courageous enough to get better. So I'll just do the next best thing. I'll end my life. Nobody cares about me anyway, they'll only care about me after I'm dead. So I'll give them what they want. | suicide |
I'm so close to kill myself.I can't find joy in anything, everything just seems gray, I have no friends, I really really want to disappear to stop suffering. But I'm not brave enough to do anything. | suicide |
ContemplationBefore I begin this, let me say I am not attempting suicide at this moment, more like I am contemplating it and making sure I keep that door open. About weeks ago I was walking down the sidewalk when I witnessed a horrible car crash. A small compact car got T-boned by a pickup truck who ran a red light. The smaller car was so completely crumpled there was no doubt in my mind the driver was killed, and thats when it hit me. I didnt care. In fact I started fantasizing about if that was me. I realized that I simply wouldnt give a shit if that had been me. I actually LIKED the sound of it. I would be killed, I wouldnt have the shame of suicide hanging over my families head, and I wouldnt have to deal with my life anymore. Since then I have contemplated suicide multiple times, once I even went as far as holding a gun to my head, but only putting it back down when my beloved dog ran up to me and asked me to rub her belly. I guess I am not asking for help, I just felt like I needed to tell someone this. Sorry if it doesnt belong here, but I have no one IRL to talk to about it, and it just feels good to let someone know what Im dealing with right now. | suicide |
Is anyone awake?I just wanna talk | suicide |
Please talk me out of it, Ive never been so close to doing itIve only neared suicide one other time in my life and someone called the police and I had the worst hours in the hospital of my life. Since that moment, I decided if I ever needed to do it, I wouldnt tell anyone. I have a jar of super strong painkillers and if I take them all right now Ill die nearly instantly. Ive had this jar waiting in my closet for a year or so. Everyone says look at the good things to live for. While I seem happy and successful on the outside (I was just at the admit reception for an Ivy League college, for example), my life is horrible and fucked. I have the stomach flu and my mom accused me of lying. Shes heartless. When I was little she would cut up my stuffed animals in front of me and force me to copy the Bible while remaining isolated from friends. Im emotionally scarred from the fact that she constantly tries to ruin my life, will never be proud of me, and hurt me so many times as a child. All I wanted was love and yet she called me evil and even blamed my grandmas death on me. My parents throw knives at each other. Their divorce is lengthy and I pay the price. I had a boyfriend who I loved, but he left me because he was intimidated by me. I found a new one to love but he raped and beat me many times. I have friends but it all seems vacuous. I dont want to end it but I think Im going to. Im sorry to be grim. Somebody please just tell me something to convince me not to | suicide |
Please help?Can someone please tell me why I should live? I regret so much. I have things I'll never be able to take back or do over and not get so badly hurt. I'll never go back to being ignorant that people really didn't believe me. Was I really just being a drama queen like some of them thought? I know I put myself in a stupid situation and I know I said and did all the wrong things but I still thought someone would help if I told them I was hurt. It was so long ago but the humiliation comes back in waves again and again and again. | suicide |
"No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable." - Socrates (or has been attributed to him by one of his pupils iirc) | non-suicide |
Next monday I'm going to kill my selfI orderd mg clonazolam from the internet. which is enough to kill people. I cant't do this anymore. This is the only way out. I also have LSD and diphenide | suicide |
I'm going to commit suicide when I get home in a few hours.There just is no hope left for me in this world. I promised to give it a year and nothing is better. So today will be the day. The only person that will miss wil be my dad but I know he will be ok. Update: I just got home and I'm preparing to do it now. I'm sorry I appreciate all your advice but I just can't live anymore. | suicide |
I'm sorry but... ...you just lost the game | non-suicide |
i really need to learn how to be more open and stop keeping everything to myself it's really hard and i feel like its affecting my relationships with everyone i care about and that hurts me | non-suicide |
check out dis vid w babyyyyyy [boobies]( [sex]( [gamer]( [time]( [rickroll]( i want to commit self popo | non-suicide |
I have a question that has plagued my mine for the entirety of my life Why dont people who are drowning just drink the water? | non-suicide |
Apparentlt I'm a huge risk. Need some mantras...Replace the racing thoughts of death and darkness with... Anything else... | suicide |
ADRXPQ Join among us now Me and tomics are playing and would love if more people joined code: ADRXPQ | non-suicide |
I'm hanging with the wrong guys. I thought nobody in high school played cards like that. But overheard some kid talking about playing poker at his place. Guess I just hang with the wrong people. | non-suicide |
I don't want to think of my future, already done with life. I feel like I've been here forever. Everyone says I have "so much to live for" so much to see, but I don't want to see. I don't want to experience anymore. My life is in shambles. I don't have any friends. Everyone has left me. Nobody cares. It's selfish for others to keep me alive. Nothing is alright. Imagining my future makes me want to end it further. Thinking about how much I'll miss, I'll never have anything back, I'm condemned here. Everyone's just so hostile. I just want the pain to be over. everytime I tried to reach out I got ignored, blocked or they argued with me. It's just too hard. I remember my last attempt, everyone only cared if I lived. As soon as they found out I was alive they gone back to not caring. I have no support systems. Nobody to go back to. I'm stuck here. I can't kill myself, my parents have everything locked and i can't jump off anything. I just want to be free. My right arm hurts so much. Where the IV went, it won't stop aching and feeling like it's still in. I don't want to go back to school. I don't want to stay home. I just want it to end. | suicide |
I'm such a fucking hypocrite and an idiot!I go and try to help stop people from committing suicide, and yet I'm planning on kms anyways!!!!! I'm just such a dam fucking IDIOT! | suicide |
The inferno I cannot do this anymore. I cannot breathe or move. I cannot sleep. I cannot trust anyone. My wife abandoned me and has gone silent. My youth and innocence was stolen from me. I was robbed of a proper education. I was raped and molested. I have been gaslit and tortured. I have always been the whipping boy and have been punished for others deeds. I have never received an apology. I've never had friends or a real family. I have been bullied at every school I ever attended. I have been used and rejected my whole life. I never had a life that was my own. I have only lived through others, just a tool for their own ends. I have watched people attacked and murdered on the streets. I have seen people die of overdoses. My wife abandoned me and has gone silent. Everyone has stood around me and lets me dig my own graves.They let me fail to teach me harsh lessons and abandon me. No one has ever told the truth to me or about me. I've never acted out to harm another intentionally. I am human and have made mistakes, but I do not know forgiveness. Forgiveness has never applied to me. I am sorry for all those I have unintentionally harmed in life. I forgive those who have harmed me which is more than I can say for anyone in my life. Death take me now to the lake of fire! | suicide |
A friend and me started this thread a few months back It was just a bunch of weird ass stories but I forgot about it and now its locked so I cant continue it Favourite one was [this one]( (tagging this art because its the art of writing ) | non-suicide |
I WILL commit suicideToday is the day and nothing can change that. I am ready. Tbh I am a bit sad because I will miss people but this is the right thing to do. | suicide |
I messed up enough for me to want to not exist Sooooooo..... I failed pt (%)and pt (%)of my pre calc test and now I wanna die. Any suggestions on how I should go about dying or anything else? | non-suicide |