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can you describe colors? | non-suicide |
Is there something wrong with me?I live just like everybody else I know. I have a job that pays decent enough, I live in a house well sized, and I volunteer at my library every week. But theres a line. Some times, when I get bad news, it doesnt affect me at all on an emotional level. But there are other times, like today, when someone tells me im sick. Like, I play with my dog but he is terrified of me, or I tell a joke that I think people will get, but they tell me I have a sadistic sense of humor. I would like to figure out whats going on here, but I dont have any money to pay for a psychologist or a therapist. Theres obviously something wrong with my mind. Im sick, and if I cant figure it out than theres just no point in living anymore. I dont see what it is. Its right infront of me, taunting me. Why do I even exist? | suicide |
I am going to kill myself tomorrow evening.I unfortunately put all of my eggs in to one basket over the past year. My business has failed and I'm left without a job, governmental support or the means to pay for my rent at the end of the week. I won't live a life of homelessness or thievery and that leaves me with few options. I've put my affairs in order with regards to the few distant friends and family I have, tidied my bedroom, ironed my clothes and put them away and now I'm going to sleep for the final time. When I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to cook my favourite meal and then take a train to where I grew up. The house I grew up in was demolished a long time ago and replaced with an industrial estate, but there is a beautiful bridge by the park I used to play in which overlooks a train line. I'm going to jump off the bridge after the trains finish for the night, it's more than high enough to kill me, but i'll avoid the train lines, I don't want to put any one else at risk of danger. The railing is low and I'll have a drink to make it look like a drunk accident, a tragedy and a loss, but not a callous action. I'm not writing this for any sort of comfort or solace, I'm not angry, sad or depressed, I'm just realistic about my situation. I'm calm. There are a few things I'm going to miss, the sound of rain on my window, the warmth of my log fire, the first breath of cold air when I leave the house, music. | suicide |
I tried to OD this weekBut my roommate and only friend found out and made me puke out some of it. I was still knocked out for hours. And I feel like shit. I now remember that she knew something was up and didn't want to leave my room and I acted like an asshole, cussing at her and stuff, telling her I don't want her in my room....and when she found out that I tried to OD I screamed at her...she was crying and I fucking screamed at her to just let me die?! I feel like such an asshole... I still think about suicide, which makes me feel even worse...the fact that she probably blames herself makes me feel awful... She safed my life and I acted like a bitch...and how do I thank her? By still wanting to die?... I hate myself so much Why can't I just erase my past? I don't want these memories that keep haunting me and make me want to die... | suicide |
I wish somebody could do it for meI am just so weak. Like i wish i was a German in Nazy germany so hitler could kill me honestly im a waste for the society why do they even keep me alive. If I was born somewhere else I would % be dead by now. Why can't I find just a little bit of strength to do it myself | suicide |
How would you feel if you were my sister So her and her two toddler are staying with us for some time and I was talking to my mom, like ranting, about how insufferable my sister was (bc she is) and how I really didnt wan her here and I think my sister overheard. How would you feel if you were her? | non-suicide |
Hey Americans of reddit. Do you guys have a dunkin donuts version of Timbits? Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
Tried to cut myself, but too afraid. How can I get up the guts to actually do it?I held a knife to my artery, but I couldn't do more than a few nicks before I realized I am not anywhere near brave enough. | suicide |
Killing myself, goodbyeIm killing myself soon. I will update if I dont, so youre not left wondering. Some people arent meant for this world. I wish I didnt have to die alone. I can finally be at peace with my death. Goodbye | suicide |
I dont really know what to say here.On Saturday, while my mom is out of the house from :-:, Im going to do one of two things. Im going to either find a gun she may or may not have hidden somewhere in this house, and shoot myself in the head with it in my bedroom, or Im going to run away with nothing but a change of clothes and find a way to kill myself another way, if I cant find the gun, of course. I dont want sympathy. Ive gotten enough of that. I dont want help. People have tried. Im beyond help. Im done living this life alongside people who lie, cheat, and treat ME like shit. I used to be afraid of what people would do after I was gone.m, but now I dont care. I just want to die. I wont have to face whatever happens after I put that bullet through my brain. Selfish? Maybe. But I dont care anymore. Being threatened into living has been the story of my life thus far, especially from my mother. There was never any consolation or love when she asked what was wrong or how I was feeling. Always threats and anger, frustrations about me never telling her what was wrong. Does my mom love me? Maybe, probably. Is that going to change my decision to kill myself in two days? Not at all. I cant keep a friend without being teased or bullied, the brunt of all jokes /. I cant hold a conversation with a girl my age, and if I do its only a matter of time before theyre drawn away by my constant sadness or boring personality. But youre so likeable, youre good looking, funny! If I was any of those things I dont think I would be in this situation. The burden Ive set of my friends, my teachers, my family and many others can finally be lifted, and I wont be holding them back anymore. As long as I can find that gun. Hopefully I can go quickly and quietly, and nobody will hear news and spread it among the school, and I especially hope that no special ceremony goes through for me. Let me die and fade into obscurity with no extra unneeded pity and sadness. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. | suicide |
I hate it when my parents assume I do drugs while I'm with my friends Like yeah, but where's the trust? | non-suicide |
I failedI failed at all my goals for university, I'm in fourth year with nothing to show. I'm wasted and it's pm. I can't do this anymore, my boyfriend barely cares about me, most people who used to talk to me stopped after I lost one election, my grades are garbage and I just can't fight the depression anymore, there is nothing to keep me going, I just want it to end. | suicide |
I can't manage life and it's too difficult. I can't help myself.Hi. This is my first time admitting anything like this to anyone. Some suicidal thoughts were recently triggered from running into some trouble. Basically, I can never take care of myself. I never do well in school and procrastinate like hell on homework and studying. I have a severe addiction to daydreaming that I can't stop. I spend hours and hours on daydreaming. I can't keep up with house chores. I even procrastinate on my hobbies by daydreaming or going on the internet. I'm extremely worried about my financial security in the future. I've had several wallets stolen from me. I have no skills so I'm pretty sure I won't get employed. I realize that I will never, ever have a normal social life. I was CONSTANTLY rejected by family and everyone I meet in general. Right now I have friends but it's pretty clear that we can't connect to each other anymore because I broke their trust. I feel so guilty for my mom because I'm living off of white lies to please her. I always made major fuck-ups when it came to romance. Oh and by the way, today I pissed off a teacher really badly and I have to get my journal signed, but I literally forgot my journal at school. I'm so fucked. I can't deal with this. I want to kill myself because I'm too tired to keep up with responsibilities. I have goals and ambitions but I know that I can't fulfill them. I'm sick of being rejected and abandoned. I'm sick of disappointing myself. | suicide |
Everyone hates me, my parents don't care about me? I've been bullied and pushed around all my life. I have an FN FAL .x battle rifle could I put it to good use? | non-suicide |
Please help me Is it buddy holly, buddy holly and the crickets, the crickets, buddy holly and his crickets, the crickets or the crickets and buddy holly????? | non-suicide |
My grandparents got married when they were and my grandfather became the head of the family when he was . I am almost and i can't even make eye contact while talking to people. | non-suicide |
I just feel likeThis will either pass and I'll be able to do it in peace, or there's no way I'm making it and I should just do it now. I have no idea.. | suicide |
I'm rambunctious today so gold to first person who makes me smile Idk why I'm doing this but yeah whoever tells me something that makes me smile gets the gold. | non-suicide |
prroud moment  *Processing img mwpddbb...* | non-suicide |
Just need to vent.I want to die. The people in my life wouldn't be effected by my death. My husband knows about my intentions. He seems alright about it. He's sitting infront of me in the living room right now playing video games while I'm ugly crying and writing this on my phone. We've talked about my kids staying with my mom if anything were to ever happen to me. Which is good, she can provide more for them and they like spending time with her better anyway. My mom and I don't have a relationship. We communicate about my kids, because she loves them. But I'm just a long list of disappointments. If she had the kids, there wouldn't be a reason for her to even want to contact me. If anything it would be like a weight off her shoulders if I actually were to kill myself. She hated having to pay my hospital bill from when I attempted in high school, I don't want to leave another bill for anyone again. My dad is remarried and doing his own thing. I talk to him a few times a week. I'm not sure he would even notice I stopped answering the phone. I have probably really close friends. But at this point in my life I can see them fighting to even want to be around me. Lilly is trying really hard because she may be afraid I'll actually hurt myself. But it's not fair to her anymore. I don't bring anything to our friendship anymore. I have no money to do anything anymore. My life is consumed with relationship drama with my family and husband, it's not fun talking or being around me. Matt is in the military. He's made new friends, he's doing really well. We don't talk as often. But I think he would understand. He knows this has been an ongoing issue for me since I was a kid. I poison everything I touch. It's not fair to anyone that I'm like this. I don't want to hurt anyone, and I'm tired of hurting. I don't mean to be such a trash person, I don't want to be crying right now. | suicide |
LolFucking kill me please | suicide |
My abusive father is driving me insane. [m]So. Where do I even begin here? I guess how long Ive been putting up with this. My dads been like this since I was or so years old. It didnt start off this bad, not at all, but I was too young to recognize the blatant signs that were right there in front of me. It got worse and worse as the years went on, until today. Just last year he laid his hands on my mother for the first time ever. Nothing that left any marks or anything, though. He also threatened to destroy all my belongings (mainly electronics, most of which were birthday/Christmas presents from my grandparents.), and also told me to kill myself, and that hed be happier that way if I did. That was not even a year ago. Hes still just as bad. He now threatens to call child welfare on my mom, kick us out (even though we dont even legally own this house we live in.), and continues to threaten me with destruction of my belongings, as well as ceasing to pay my phone bill. Im starting to get desperate for a way out, but I dont want to leave my mom with this scum. What do I do? | suicide |
I'm a stupid loser. Even this reddit hates me. Well, I guess I deserve it. | suicide |
Anyone tryna talk ? Yo what's good everybody ?ya Bois bored as hell so hmu . btw so no one under please. | non-suicide |
if theres a minecraft bed on both sides of ur own ur definitely a minecraft slut # ############################################################################### | non-suicide |
Lets try thisobviously throw away acc. So I've been suicidal as long as i can remember but have never acted apon it because well it's never been the right time. but that time is approaching good people. I thought I'd give you a chance to convince me but first let me see if i can shed some light on what i've tried.Therapy, drugs, 'loved' ones, nothing, everything. the point I'm trying to make is that I'm tired. no i havent reached the end of my rope. yes there's still so much life to live. but i've had my fill. i'm tired. i dont want to anymore. even at the high points in my life i've had the thoughts but always supressed them due to well.. the fact that when life is going well it tends to keep you busy. you don't have much time with your thoughts. but then i lost my job. and now i'm cleaning. and sure i can get a job back in my field. and get back on my feet. this is only temporary. but i've had a lot of time to thing and self reflect. I'm not a good person. the world will not be better with me in it. Either way it doesn't matter what the world will be like after I am gone because I dont care. That's another point I'm trying to make. I don't care about much. I try oh i try. there's some things i have to care about. like paying the bills and putting food on my plate. I digress. There's time though so don't worry. I've got a few things left to do before my time is up. I want to try DMT. I've gone on the deep web and got some of that so thats neato. then if that doesn't give me some type of spiritual awakening. i'll probably give my dog up for adoption and hang my self off the balcony after i spend all my money on junk food and shit and just pig out for a while. anyhoo. sorry for all the spelling mistakes and stuff. i gotta go do a shift. good luck! | suicide |
I think I'm going to kill myself tonightI've been thinking about this for a long time and struggled to land on a method. I choked myself with a rope the other night and felt myself start to black out. It wasn't painful and didn't take that long so I think that's how I'm going to do it. I wasn't trying to hang myself before, just testing the waters I guess. There's a party tonight that I'm going to go to, hopefully get drunk and then I'll do it when I come home. I don't know why I'm posting this. Either some part of me is still trying to fight it or maybe I just want to leave something behind to say goodbye.. I'm not sure. | suicide |
I am so lostI ruin everyone's lives and have been since I was born. I have been alone and unsafe my entire life. In spite of that I have always loved and cared about everyone and have always tried to be a good person and positive and not feel sorry for myself. Two years ago though, I was hit hard by PTSD and I had no idea what it was and now it has complete control over me. It has destroyed every aspect of my life and my person and has erased who I was completely. I am everything I hate. I now represent the abuse I've received my entire life. I deserve it now. I am selfish and not worthy of any love. I had it for a little bit from someone amazing, but I ruined that too. I have been drowning and have been fighting as best I could to stay alive. People don't see how hard I try in the face of constant terror and living as a small child in an adults body and so alone and so afraid. Full of fear and hearing all the horrible things that have been said about me my whole life (and it continues) by people that were supposed to protect me. I couldn't even get my parents to care about me at all. I was never good enough unless I was something to be used and thrown away. I am an awful person now. I hate myself more than anyone could imagine. I try so hard to be different, but there are so many times I just can't fight it and I act out of fear. I am useless and wasting space. People would definitely be better off without me around. I am only a problem and offer no value anymore. I feel so awful. Thank you for letting me talk here. | suicide |
tinnitus honestly slaps i love get migraines because my ears are constantly ringing, its really so cool | non-suicide |
I will never be happy in lifeGot a useless music degree and I cant find a job now because I cant get an internship in a studio because Im overqualified but I dont have the experience for a job. And with covid there are no jobs for my useless degree anyway, AND I found out target pays more than what I studied in. So now Im having second thoughts about if I even wanna work for a company the rest of my life anyway, I would be miserable. How is this adulthood?? Everyone just wakes up goes to work and comes home and sleeps and still cant afford to live, what is even the point?? And then owning my own business would require even more hours, and trying to do music on my own is a complete joke because the industry is so gatekept. I feel like a selfish and delusional prick for thinking I could have that type of career anyway but how is anyone happy with a - (more like a - or - or two jobs even that still dont pay). Who has tike to travel and have fun and visit family? Who has time for life anymore? I also feel selfish for having suicidal thoughts but I cant find am inherent meaning to this world What would I even miss if i left this world? | suicide |
I have been deciding for awhile. Now its that time.I have a deep repulsion towards life and myself. Don't need to really explain my story, or need to be talked out of it. I fucking hate life and nothing will changed that. Committing suicide isn't wrong, its just stupid ass opinions from other people that believe they are doing the right thing. Time to hang myself with my belt tonight. Bravest thing I will have ever done, dislocating myself from this planet permanently. | suicide |
When does a joke become a dad joke When it comes apparent | non-suicide |
Why tf can't I post an image here??? Tell me PPL | non-suicide |
may the day that i will leavei just posted in self.depression (my bad here is the right subreddit) today i will finally be free from my body i will leave to no return no more pain no more disappointment home alone today my family will grieve but that's fine............ He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death....God bless | suicide |
Joe Biden and Donald Trump.... Now everyone start arguing in the comments please and thank you. | non-suicide |
Why do people you've never spoken to on this app dm you? I haven't posted in hours bro tf | non-suicide |
Got in my middle schools golf team Too bad it was the reserve unit . | non-suicide |
What is a picrew Is it like an animation of your face? How do I do one | non-suicide |
If you play rocket league send me your nastiest clips to be featured in a YouTube channel Im starting. [Her is the channel]( I would prefer links I can download or just files to make it x easier for me. I wanna try and start something but I need some help. if anyone can I need help with an intro, banner, and profile pic. | non-suicide |
I'm so close to done. I can't live like this.I am a disabled transgender man in desperate need of chest surgery. I receive ssi benefits so I have very little income, sometimes I can't even cover basic necessities. My insurance won't pay for surgery and I have tried every possible loop hole. There's a local surgeon that offers financial aid but the remaining costs have to be paid up front. My chest causes crippling anxiety and depression that keeps me stuck at home most days. When I do get out I am completely miserable and in fear for my safety. Binding my chest causes rashes, bruises, and other skin problems. I feel completely invisible. Nobody wants to help. A local alternative club told me they don't do personal benefits then did one for someone else a week later. My go fund me campaign is a complete bust and I see people with ridiculous campaigns making thousands every hour. I feel like nobody cares. I've done all that I can do and it's not enough. I'm sick and tired of living like this. My entire life is on hold. My dream is to go to college and work with Trans youth but I can't do anything. I do everything I can for everyone else and get absolutely nothing in return. I don't want to be another statistic but I'm not even living right now. I can't do this anymore. | suicide |
Is a . gpa good? Im a freshman and I got my report card for the first semester grade. Idk anything about gpa but is a . good? | non-suicide |
How to make apple juice . Go to store . Buy apple . Try to make apple juice . Give up and buy apple juice from the store | non-suicide |
Everything is alright. Everything is going to be okay | non-suicide |
Should I tell someone before I kmsI have a good deal of friends that I am relatively close to but I just am completely unable to share the deepest parts of me. However they mean a lot to me, Im not sure if it goes both ways. Anyways should I tell at least one so they can let the others know? I dont want to be some attention whore which is my biggest problem with telling one person. But I also feel like my friends will just think I abandoned them for no reason. Idk what to do. | suicide |
I feel so alone.I feel like no one is listening to me. I don't know what to do. I don't feel like anyone could understand because no one is showing they understand. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I wish I wasn't such a pussy so I could go through with it. I feel so alone even when there are people all around me. | suicide |
I can't take myself or the reason we all are here!I can't do this anymore. I'm terrified of myself and I'm so scared that I'm causing problems and that I'm the reason my family keeps hurting. I won't say what is happening, but all I can say that there's a blade in my hand and that its dangerously close to helping me more than anyone's words can. | suicide |
I have now been a loser for years! yeah i created the reddit account three years ago now baby | non-suicide |
i fackin hate aussies but theyre so gotdamn hot theyre so foockin schewpid but so damn hot what the fack m choose one ye cant be both | non-suicide |
I'm just so tiredI want to keep fighting but oh my fucking god I'm so tired and if I just killed myself I wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit anymore. Like fuck. I never get to just be at peace. | suicide |
Tonight's the night.I finally can stop hurting. I finally can end it. Goodbye, everyone. I hope you all have better luck than me. | suicide |
I did it!! I took a walk. It felt nice. Listened to some music. My neighbors dogs came up to me both times I passed. Nice puppers but they weren't supposed to do that. My feet hurt but whatever. Good exercise. Need it. Yeah you should take a walk sometime, fun stuff. | non-suicide |
Broke up with my GF Fuck that bitch but im still sad im eating a big bag of M&MS rn. Fillerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtrrttttrtrttrtrtrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr | non-suicide |
Well why should I live?I have done a fair amount of research and nothing has lead me to an answer. I am currently years old, UC Student, part time IT, and CTO, and I honestly do not see a reason to live. So many things on this planet is deadly. Life moves extremely slow. Just reflecting on how long it took just to get to yr and thinking about my genetics... it seems painful and awful to live to my late s. If I am not depressed and I anxious and if I am not anxious I am depressed. If I am no longer living, it would be as if I never existed. That means, no more people to criticize me, no more things to fail at, no more exhausting days, no more worrying. Sure you can make the argument that someone out there will be sad, but fortunately people go through a grieving process which will allow them to get over it and enjoy their life much faster than I could it I ever could. Plus, we are all going to die anythings so they would have to face it sometime or another. In fact, I am sure being dead would make life easier on people. No one would have to listen to my stupid remarks or ideas. My parents could save up their money since they will not have to help me out. Just so many benefits. The only thing that is really stopping me from doing anything is by the far off chance that their is some kind of hell... but I am thinking now that if that were to be true, it would still be out of my hands. I am just done with all the BS the doctors have been giving me and delaying my treatment. I am tired of making people feel upset, exhausted from not sleeping, and exhausted of never being happy. Like, what kind of person doesn't even smile at their high school graduation. I do not have any friends currently and it is my second year in college, but that is alright since I would not benefit anyone. I am just so done with everything. Life is just boring. | suicide |
Dating for a week, then she just disappeared.I was taking this girl out on a date for a week, we met up three times and I honestly had one of the best times of my life, she was absolutely beautiful and we got along very well. Took her out to eat, went to the movies and she was all over me, cuddly, affectionate and seemed compassionate. I stayed at her house and we ended up getting intimate, it was like an angel graced my presence, unfortunately I kinda of let the "I love you" slip out and kind of made her back off. We talked a bit about it and I apologized for coming on so strong and that we can take it slow. The following day we made plans to hang out and I asked when she said: "Whenever." That is the last time I have heard from her, my heart feels like it is going to explode and my suicidal thoughts are racing. I fell head over heels for this girl and she was really into me too, then just left like nothing. Fuck this hurts. | suicide |
I tried to commit suicide.But failed. I just reeeeeeeaaaaally wanna kill myself, But I'm so fucking coward... I wanna Cut myself, I think I can't kill myself cause i'm coward, that's the reason why I live. Sorry for my poor english. | suicide |
It's am and I am not asleep yet because I am addicted to reddit (filler filler I guess) | non-suicide |
I'm spiraling and need someone to talk toI don't even know if this is the right place. I just need to talk to someone. I literally have no one I can talk to without causing some sort of consequence. Some old thoughts and self harming behaviors are surfacing again....I'm desperate. Pm me. I don't want to post anything in case someone sees this. A woman's perspective might be helpful too. If this is inappropriate or against rules please delete or let me know I should delete | suicide |
I have a community of jojo memes. Join? | non-suicide |
Live? Ot no?How do you stop wanting to die? | suicide |
So my friend posted on her story. N said this "if I text you I don't want the convo to die" when we text eachother it be dead "Bitch what the fuuck?" -Rickey Thompson | non-suicide |
If I do matter, what is it if I don't matter to myself?I'm losing my battle, every week it's a new cut. This time it will be pernament. Next time I hope it kills me. I found that small doses of marijuana makes me normal but it I live in one of the worst states for liberal laws. illinois. I really cant take it, the anxiety the pressure, what is it worth . To be come succesfuljust to make others proud.Life ends eventually why not now. | suicide |
Letting fate decideSo long story short me and my boyfriend broke up back in February. We've remained friends as much as we can and we've continued to have sex. Honestly indont think he ever liked me like a girlfriend, and I think he feels guilty for dumping me which is why he still sometimes hangs around me. So he has been ignoring me for weeks on end, barely talking to me, not wanting to hang out which is fine. So imma let fate decide. If he rejects hanging out with me again I'm gonna do it. If not I'll postpone it either way I'm not going to tell him any of that because he doesn't need guilt over something not his fault. | suicide |
ive had a lot of pedophiles and horny teens message me after my post hit hot about me being bi and single... cant say im complaining about the people my age but the adults are a little concerning | non-suicide |
alone this weekendim alone until tomorrow night at home and i had a breakdown last night and cut my hair and bit my nails (something i stopped doing years ago) and thought heavily about killing myself the smallest bit of logic i had left told me to call the suicide hotline but they were busy and i collapsed on the floor and woke up later today my best friend was supposed to come over after i told her what happened and she just canceled i dont know whats wrong with me this sounds so fucking pathetic but i still want to die and i dont know what to do nobody would find me for at least hours | suicide |
"You can't force people to like you" well they aren't going to otherwise.Had a bad day. Ignored by my crush. Snapped at by people. What the fuck, man. I feel like if I'm any less than perfect than I am just fucking dirt. Really sucks I've been trying for a fourth of a century and I still can't get it right. I am literally the least important component of anybodys life and that's all ill ever be. I can't wait until I don't have to hurt them anymore. | suicide |
Not sure if I want to shoot myselfI own a gun for some time now and I've been thinking about using it almost every day. I didn't know it would be this easy, that's the main reason why I even tried to get one. I somehow hoped someone or something would stop me, but nothing like that happened. I just did some paperwork, went into a store and now I legally own a handgun since a few months ago. I knew it was a bad idea the second I got out of the store. Shooting myself has been my number one suicide fantasy for years, thats why I wanted to own one, to finally end it. But now I'm not sure if I'm serious with shooting myself , it scares me to be honest. I often just sit there, holding the gun or bring it to my temple but I never pull the trigger. Just holding it like that, feeling how heavy it is in my hands, gives me some kind of kick. I keep fantasizing about shooting myself but not lethal, like shooting through my shoulder or my arm, so I can "test the waters". I also own various combat knives and I fantasize about stabbing myself often, I also stabbed myself once right through my left hand but it wasn't as bad as I expected. I'm not sure if I really want to kill myself or just mutilate my body even more. Anyone feeling the same? I know this is really fucked up and I need to seek help but I don't have enough money for therapy and I'm also in a bad situation health care wise - I'm practically going to lose my job if I get psychological help through my insurance. | suicide |
On behalfMy friend (F) visited the Eiffel Tower and was about to jump off before I reassured her life would get better. I do not want to encourage her suicide and do not want her to go. I told her to visit a therapist or call Childline. She refused to. I would not like this to all be on me. She also cuts herself with a sharp knife often (daily). I would really like some help to reinsure she does not go. | suicide |
Feel like kmsing AGAINI mean this shit is daily at this point but I can't even tell you how physically uncomfortable I am right now to add on I feel emotionally and mentally sick as well all in all I just feel fucking horrible and I want to tear myself apart god I just want the pain to end and I want to die so bad | suicide |
Why do I keep livingI have nothing to keep living for, no passions or dreams. Everyday is pointless for me and I can't even convince myself to get out of bed without extreme difficulty. No love or emtional support in my life to keep me going, just Surrounded by people that make me feel even more alone. | suicide |
Tonight seems will be my lastI have had depression all throughout high school, through college and now after college. I have been seeing a therapist for about a year now and recently got referred to a psychiatrist. I have made suicide attempts before but now I really want to leave behind a gruesome corpse for those that claim to "care" about me to find. I cant seem to have the girl that i have dated before because of the pain I caused her with me breaking up after months because i was hung-up on my other ex of three and a half years. Also my binge drinking did not help. Found out last night that there is no hope left with me getting back with my ex of months. I honestly cannot write in complete sentences right now because im looking outside and playing over and over again how my body would be displayed on the concrete if i jumped, how much blood there would be if i cut myself. I have been crying for help from my friends but it only seems like a minor thing to them and I have no one i can really say anything to. No one understands why I would be much happier if i was to leave this world. . I would not be a "debbie downer" according to my friends and no one would have to worry about me again because what is done is done . This will cause all my pain to go away, there is no better medication than to completely forget. I cannot stop crying everywhere that I am right now; gym,class, walking outside. I just picture my body being battered with each step that I take hoping that the random car thats driving by will slam into me and free me. I cannot make it through the nights without having serious panic attacks and it does not help that I live alone. I just wanted someone to care that I would be gone but deep down I know no one would. I dont want to waste anyone elses time by being on the planet and help them out by ending my life. I wish once I could be taken seriously in my life... You would not imagine how much it means to me when a complete stranger shows an act of kindness to me; i burst into tears. It means a lot to me that you have read this far but I can assure you my life is worthless and i am better off by being forgotten about | suicide |
Just want someone to careBefore school started, I was really confident and knew what I was doing. Now, a month later, I am seriously considering killing myself. The only thing really stopping me is fear and my family at this point. I feel like I'm not useful for anything, I barely have a place among my friends and only get invited to places because I don't talk much, mostly listen. I'm not attractive, my grades are starting to slip, not very good at a lot of things either. Not sure where all my confidence went, but I just want this to be over, suicide or getting over it. I think it might've started at the realization that no one actually cares a lot for me. Sure, my parents care, but it feels like they don't understand and would just try to force religion down my throat. Anyway, I've never had a best friend, girlfriend, or anyone who actually asks how I'm doing. Starting to think the world easily forget me. Sorry if it got off topic, this has been building up for awhile | suicide |
Intent of suicide MATTERSIf you genuinely believe suicide is the best method the afterlife will take pity on you for your circumstances , Im not sure same can be said if you commit suicide for selfish reasons though | suicide |
Genshin Impact is pretty fun Usually I can't rly find games I'm into but this is great | non-suicide |
who wants to be friends that kiss yeah filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
fuck itI was raped in my freshman year of high school. I'm currently a senior, and I'm finally getting angry about it. my rapist was a stranger, about years older than me, and he took my virginity. I ended up switching schools for my sophomore year. it really fucked up a lot of things in my life. right now I've been having a lot of issues with sex, and I don't know if it's just because I'm depressed, or if it has something to do with the rape, too. I don't know anything anymore, really. I'm just tired as fuck. I can't believe that I was raped. jesus christ, I wish it had never happened | suicide |
Please help I have no clue how to help herMy girlfriend is considering suicide as her only option and I have no clue how to help her get through her parents divorce | suicide |
Time upI have been her before but not as bad as this. The pain is all my own doing and there is no way out except death. I am a coward. I have tried and tried to find a glimmer of hope or a spark that remains but there is nothing. I can not go through life making the same mistakes and feeling the same pain. I tried to make amends and I have bared my soul but I can not get through, I have to accept that it is finally over, in more ways than one. | suicide |
Im not going to make itIm not going to make it though this year, ive given up on school, my life goals are unrealistic, life is so fucking hard, im not going to make it. All i do all day is sit down and use my phone, i have no energy to do anything else. I want to rip myself apart. I hate myself for being so useless, why take up space when youre going to fucking die? Im a worthless, barely living piece of shit and why havent i killed myself yet? I know my death is going to be suicide, im just delaying the inevitable. HELP | suicide |
Remind me why life is worth living?I feel like I'm just lying to myself. Sabotaging and manipulating myself. My struggles are not valid, but if they're not real, why can't I regain control over my life? It would be so much easier to just die, but I can't do that. Because I don't want to, most of the time. | suicide |
I just don't think my life is going to anywhereHere's a summary of the past years of my life, from graduating high school to now: - I've been attending community college with no direction or interests in what I'm studying. I'm going because it's kind of fun, it's normal, and it makes my parents happy - I haven't made any friends and still don't socialize with classmates mainly because I don't care to - I've been spending almost all my free time listening to the same song on loop until they stop being amazing - I've been getting back into drawing and want to make music - The job I had in high school is starting to make me super anxious everytime I have to go so I'm considering quitting - I still live with my parents and feel like they're kind of disappointed in me but considering my past aren't really saying anything - I've gotten over my Anorexia from high school but am feeling less in control over my eating lately - I'm starting to feel anxious about talking to my internet friends - I've been spending a lot of time just lying in bed listening to music contemplating life - I feel like I'm just being lazy but I'm not sure and I don't want to think about it - Have been considering a creative career but you have to be outgoing for that - I feel like I'm living in my own fantasy and don't want to leave - Still keeping my promise to eventually kill myself I just don't know anymore. The only thing that makes me even remotely happy anymore is listening to music and just escaping into my thoughts. What am I supposed to do when I grow up? Nothing is interesting, nothing is remotely interesting. I'm so scared of interacting with strangers it is really starting to hurt me but I don't want to change. | suicide |
Drinking wineJust wanted to say hello to my fellow people who are struggling with suicidal thoughts as well | suicide |
As of today I am finally Its finally happened. I've been waiting so long as I now have more freedom, im from England so I can actually do the naughty - the only down side is that I have nobody to do the naughty with... I can even get a part time job which I'll be on the search for so I can earn some cash. And with my GCSE "assessments" just round the corner im just that little bit closer to moving onto college, so my best years are still yet to come. You all probably don't really care about it but its just my little way of celebrating, considering covid ruined my birthday last year too - plus, chilling on reddit is wayyyy better than going out and about. | non-suicide |
Just took the TSI Nothing too special, I got on the English one which I think is good but idk | non-suicide |
For some reason im in a good mood today I can tell you, its been a loooong time i was in a good mood. | non-suicide |
Everything happening around me has been taking a toll on my health. My immune system isnt what it used to be and my mental health is deteriorating.I know my problem is stupid but Ive already obsessively stressed about prom for nearly three years. My anxiety never improved but only worsened. My prom is in February and I dont want to go, but I cant ditch it since its part of my grade. I just want to die, or escape. I cant do this. But if I dont go, Ill probably regret it. If I do go, things may go terribly wrong and Ill be humiliated and I may never regain my dignity again (like I even had it). No one understands the reason for my opinion. I dont know what to do anymore. | suicide |
What's the first thing you ALWAYS do before watching a movie? What's the first thing you ALWAYS do before watching a movie? | non-suicide |
Damn bro You guys are getting max aggression and on this quiz and stuff no wonder you guys dont have friends, no offense really | non-suicide |
Is there any psychiatrist willing to help?I need to be psychoanalyzed. Anyone willing to help? I can't afford treatment. | suicide |
I don't know about you guys but... I like my home country, it's pretty damn cool to be honest | non-suicide |
I don't know how to fix myself, and wanna end it.With all of the stress going on with this COVID- virus, on top of isolation from friends, no local friends, alcoholic problems, and no real feeling of self worth, I just wanna end it. My dreams are literal pipe dreams, my family has no confidence in me; I just feel like lying down in the middle of a road so a truck can end my existence. Please convince me why I should stay, I'm running out reasons to go on at this point. | suicide |
Guys Im a boy... In a boys body | non-suicide |
Goodbye Reddit I have work to do | non-suicide |
Life Check Part Im on the bathroom floor drinking mouthwash and listening to lil Uzi and my girlfriend just called me handsome | non-suicide |
I am a female human Yes i am a famale humen not a racoon | non-suicide |
Someone on this bad boy said (and I quote) People on this sub can just say 'my crush texted back' and blow up. Well I'm gonna say something and watch it explode. Then proceeded to say pee pee, and blew up. My turn. Poo poo | non-suicide |
I don't want another birthdayI don't want to have to experience anything anymore. I don't want to go to therapy and I feel guilty when I do, because I just want to die, and someone else could be using my appointment slot. I don't want to keep going anymore. I've failed to end my life on several occasions, I just want someone to shoot me. | suicide |
Chronically Ill Young College Student - help please?I'm years old. Four and a half years ago I got diagnosed with a chronic condition, which has completely changed my life for the worse. I was the type of person that could have really made a difference: changed the world for the better. I had the intelligence, the drive, and most importantly the opportunities to follow through. This disease has broken me. Everyday I'm plagued with pain on many fronts. I've lost much of my physical dexterity and mental quickness. Worst of all I've lost the drive and motivation that's let me push on despite the pain...despite the long hours of true agony. I've been beaten into submission, and I yield. I can truly take no more. My condition will only grow worse as the years go on. I'll try one experimental treatment after the next, putting my family in tremendous debt. They won't work or at the very best they'll prolong the inevitable. I will die of this affliction in some manner provided something else doesn't kill me sooner. I've always considered myself a religious man. I've spent my life, as short as it's been, in prayer and good faith - not to say that I haven't had my missteps along the way. However, I'm apparently doomed to an incontrovertible thought process: if there really is a god, why does he let me suffer? Either he can't do anything about it, he refuses to do anything about it, or he doesn't exist. Inevitably this can only lead to the conclusion that God, if he exists, is not worth worshiping. But if there is no God than there are no consequences, and I won't be doomed to hellfire eternal like I've been taught, if I take matters into my own hands and end my pain. Am I so wrong, either in ethical or religious ways, for wanting an end to what appears to be a lifelong promise of anguish? | suicide |
An endless cycleAlways starts with boundless energy. Will be able to function with average of - hours of sleep nightly for week long stretches. First couple of nights of sleeplessness will start with watching TV into the early morning. Next few nights will consist of some sort of organizational task or in-depth research of different topics ( i.e making lists, doing math, cleaning, Google searches and reading multiple articles from different sources on the same subject etcetera....). This devolves into the next set of nights consisting of me laying in bed trying to sleep but unable to because of racing thoughts. First the thoughts are mostly positive ( how I can be more efficient at work, how I should be balancing work and home life etc). Then I start to panic about things (how I don't have time to do the things I want, how I'm being a terrible parent, how I'll never love a man who'd loveme back etc). This spirals into an attack so prolonged and intense that I just wish to stop existing. At this point I'll think about everyone in my life and how I can't leave them and how horrible it would be for them if I was to just disappear. That then leads to me thinking that maybe they'd be better off. These two thoughts cycle in my mind whileIcry androck back and forth. All my muscles are tensed at this point and I usually have my head down with my arms covering it so I can a) dig my nails into the back of my neck or b) pull at my hair. Can only get myself to stop by taking old insomnia meds that I won't refill because there are currently not enough in the bottle to kill me if I down the whole thing. But I'm running out and I'm afraid of when I do. The only way to make the thoughts stop is to sleep and I can't without something that can possibly kill me if I decide to overdose. | suicide |
A way out.Throwaway for starters and on mobile, so I apologize for the format. I've been struggling with depression from a young age along with Pervasive Developmental Disorder and lately I've been thinking more and more lately about suicide. Currently on medication and with psychiatric support but I can' stand it anymore. I struggle with everyday things and especially with social relationships. I get anxiety attacks from pretty much everything and lately I can't find happiness or satisfaction or any kind of good feeling in my daily routine. I feel like I am robot who doesn't get anything from life other than anxiety,stress and sadness. I keep comparing myself to everyone I meet and I keep telling to myself that I am inferior to them even though sometimes in reality it's the other way around. Some people are gonna miss me and that's what is holding me back, all the sorrow and the sadness that I would bring to my loved ones. But I don't see a future for me. I am tired of struggling throughout the day and really I don't see a light in the end of the tunnel. The only light would be my departure because then I wouldn't feel anything or think. Anyway I had to taken this out of my chest, because few people know about my condition and only my psychiatrist knows about my some times suicidal thoughts. | suicide |
Im not scared of dying, Im scared of not succeeding and being permanently damagedDeath doesnt scare me. But Im afraid that the suicide attempt wouldnt be successful and I would find myself waking up in a hospital bed permanently injured. Im also afraid about how my mom would take it. Those are the only things holding me back. Waking up is a burden. Being alive is tiring. Ive used nothing but my willpower to fight these feelings but after so long it gets old... Whats the point of life if the world has been rooted on evil since humanitys existence? Whats the point of life if the only thing guaranteed in a life is death? | suicide |