text
stringlengths 1
3.14k
| label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|
how to silence the thoughts?pretty consistently i find myself hardly hearing or listening to people. i find myself wanting to die almost all the time, or like warn people that i am involuntarily awful, that everyone leaves eventually. i find myself narrating my thoughts and life while others are talking. i dont know, maybe i am alone in this, but if im not... how the fuck do i remain present anymore? all i can think about are the negatives. i practice DBT but it doesnt help. | suicide |
Lockdown stopped me from celebrating my birthday today. today, first birthday where I didn't do anything special. Is this what adulthood feels like? | non-suicide |
JUST TALK TO MEI NEED HE LP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP I NEED HELP | suicide |
We need to find this mans friend! Link to post cause screenshotting is broken | non-suicide |
Finally relaxed when i think about deathIm so relaxed when i think about death i had a hard fight for the last months but now when i think about it it deeply calms me . I need to wait for a couple weeks because i have heavy mood swings sometimes but right now im so in peace and im so calm. Maybe it's really my fate to die young . I accepted it . I also accepted that the world is shit and that i will never reach my goal because of my physical and psychological limitations .. guys we dont need to fight we just need to accept .. | suicide |
My mom says I'm psychologically abusiveI have a temper and I yell but that's my desperate need to get my point across I have never been violent or made physical advances or threats to anybody. I've been desperately trying to get my mom to understand how I feel lately because she said some really mean shit to me and I wanted her to know it's not helping it's making it harder and I told her I wanted to kill myself. Today her and her boyfriend, who I dislike very much, told me that nobody believes I want to kill myself or that I'm mentally ill but that I'm just rude and disrespectful. Part of me wonders if I should just take all my Lexapro and get it out of the way now. But how much Lexapro is enough to OD but not enough to throw it all up? Thank you | suicide |
The suicide hotline is a fucking joke. You'd be better off talking to a wall.I waited minutes with people ahead of me to chat. Once I got in, I waited another hour, and the chat automatically disconnected as it had timed out. It was not a network error on my part. On the after chat survey I left them a negative review, and then called the hotline. They told me I had already been helped and they had emailed me resources. (They did not). I'm not in good place tonight and no one is there to talk, so honestly I think tonight's the night I wrap my car around a fucking tree or drive into a river. I hate my fucking life, I hate everyone that claims to be my friends, who I do everything for, and they can't even be there to fucking help me once. I hate everything about myself, I'll never find love because I'm short, and I'll never have a life worth living. Goodbye everyone. | suicide |
I was just laughing at a meme on how teachers give homework and how fucked up online class is. Then I checked my homework and I have myself. Some are due last week, some are today, and some are next week. help. | non-suicide |
I gotta tell yall something It seems when someone of the opposite gender even breaths in your general directional seems like yall get a crush on them, maybe I dont get this cause Im a pan dude but it seems pretty desperate | non-suicide |
When I was I tried to impress a senior girl by doing the knife game and I stabbed my fucking finger Turns out I wasnt as good at it as I thought i was. It was at a party where the knives were actually sharpened at the tips, not like at restaurants where most of them are sort of rounded off. Shit fucking hurt and there was blood everywhere. Never even talked to her again after that night. | non-suicide |
What Has Biden Done For America? Wrote a whole ass essay in someone's comments, thought I'd just make my own post for anyone wondering. (as a preface, we support him because though he is a centrist, he will have many more progressive people backing him while he is in office. he's a sort of "gateway" to a more progressive government.) . Joe Biden was the th youngest elected senator when he first joined the Senate in , and was a senator until , when he became vice president. . Biden helped write several crime laws, including the Federal Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of , the Federal Assault Weapons Ban of , and the Violence Against Women Act of (to prevent domestic violence). He also help to create the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which is still in service today since it's creation in , and has helped hundreds of thousands of individuals with stopping their domestic abuse. . Biden served as chairman of the International Narcotics Control Caucus in , where he introduced the Reducing Americans' Vulnerability to Ecstacy law, which helped stop the spread of several substances, including ecstacy, date rape drugs, and harmful athletic steroids . Biden wrote the "Kids " legislature of which helped give internet access to low-income families through building community centers with available computers in low-income neighborhoods . During his vice presidency, Biden served on several committees focusing on building new infrastructure, stopping gun violence in the wake of the Sandy Hook shooting, reducing the national debt, creating the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, and legalizing gay marriage. Biden also further developed his Violence Against Women Act, creating the White House Council on Women and Girls and the White House Task Force to Protect Students From Sexual Assault. TL:DR Biden has made a lot of impactful legislature during his time in the Senate and as vp, and has worked hard to build up America's infrastructure and create solid progressive laws | non-suicide |
I realized I'm getting old... I was on XBOX earlier and I was talking about how we use to cook popcorn on the stove and these mfs had the nerve to act oblivious. | non-suicide |
F. Advice pls ;)Im years old.... I messed up my university degree, low grades i don't even wanna finish it..... My family knows nothing about it they think i finish on next semester, told them a couple of lessons left. I have a good job right now, in my dad's company... I work with computers (my field) and i help with accounting when needed... so its good money + i get expierience + i help my dad But i cant tell him i fucked up the university degree and . eu wasted. That's why i was / am suicidal ... I have a friend in Canada that he can hire me , so i really wanna move abroad and start a new life. I can also stay with him a couple of months with free or very cheap rent But my family dont like the idea, they wanna finish studies first (which is logical) and also stay here and help them with company My first option is: Sell some items ( good computers), and with the help of my salary, i take a ticket and go to canada with some cash My second option: Eat a lot of broad beans, this will trigger my GPD deficiency - Allergy , and considering that im living alone and they will not find me fast, i'll kaboot | suicide |
yikesi'm going to start writing a note, just in case. i already have a plan; escape the house after the holidays (most likely at sometime late in the night), leave my note on my bed, see if i could go stargazing before i do what i need to do, find a pretty view at some lake far away from home (at least a couple miles), then jump in. i'll wear my favourite articles of clothing, bring some of my prized possessions, turn on some music, and as i'm in the water i'll close my eyes and just listen. people say drowning isn't peaceful, but you'll never know if you never try right? | suicide |
anyone here play risk of rain ? it is gud gaem | non-suicide |
i don't know what's wrong with mehere's what happens when im super drunk: .always feel im hopeless and worthless. like no one likes me and everyone hates me . i get emotional . think about killing myself and think of ways to kill myself, like cut myself with a knife (previously done several times) or think about what would happen if i overdose on my anti-depressant pills . i want to buy other peoples drinks and spend a lot of money **but the thing is, i still have so much fun throughout the night and i also haven't struggled with any self-confidence and people always call me a social butterfly because i can be friends with anyone instantly and im pretty outgoing. the - happens when i come home and im alone in my room. anyone experience this or similar to this before? | suicide |
Got a question for yall Does anyone else ever feel unnecessary or that no one actually wants to be around them and they just take pity on you? Like if you were not there they would have a better time and youre just taking up space? | non-suicide |
get me a car that goes yeehaw s m o o t h | non-suicide |
what vibe do you get from me? idk stalk me n dont be a dick [ [ | non-suicide |
what's ur favorite thing about Ur partner? mines: his kisses & cuddles and curly hair | non-suicide |
Miss Sarajevo hits hard when it's literally describing you filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
Teen tips # No john I'm not making your gay fantasies real. Come back later for more bad teen tips. | non-suicide |
If there was a painless wayIf there was a painless way to do it if probably would have a few days ago, I guess I have to wail until I get my hands on a gun. I'm so tired of school. I'm tired of feeling like no one cares about me. I'm sick of my mental state and how every thing hurts me and scares me and makes me cry. When I think about cutting my wrist, that way, in the shower it makes me tear up. I don't want to, but it's going to happen soon. I just want to shoot myself these days. | suicide |
I feel like I cant take care of myselfThis post is probably going to be very messy and unorganized but thats okay I guess. First off Im going on years old. I havent gone to college or anything and I work in a group home. I also live with my mother because lets face it caregivers dont get paid very well. I would go to school but my spending habits and car payment prevent me from doing so. Im on generic Abilify and generic Zoloft along with vitamin D and these have me feeling stable but also still a bit depressed in that I feel emotionally stable but I am unable to perform basic things like getting myself to shower is pretty hard sometimes and dont get me started on my room. I also dont brush my teeth. Im just so gross and I feel like I cant take care of myself. Sometimes I wonder if I myself belong in a group home. Anyways I guess thats it, any advice is appreciated. Thank you. | suicide |
Anyone else Does anyone else think Christmas is just a reminder of how much your parents dont know you? | non-suicide |
So so tiredI just want it all to end but I cant cos of my family, why cant I just die. Theres so many people who deserve to live and yet they die early and me a useless waste keep living. I would swear that this is hell if I believed in that. Just soooo tired | suicide |
Remember boys. Having secks with a boy is not gay if you force *HER* to be a girl. Now go ahead and fuck your homies. Fuck your classmates. FUCK THE WORLS! | non-suicide |
Can anyone do it for me?Lmk if youre down I can compensate | suicide |
Waking up...In bed, you open your eyes and realize the best part of your day is over. Sleep. The only time you feel no pain or suffering. You lay in bed thinking, how am I going to pull through today? Maybe you take your meds, maybe you drink your coffee or maybe you sit and lay there contemplating why the fuck you cant be normal. That empty feeling in the morning is the worst. Knowing you have to fake a smile and interact with people who have no idea you want to spill your brains on the floor every moment of every day. Maybe you make them laugh, maybe they think youre the smart, charismatic co worker. Maybe theyre starting to catch on you dont feel so good inside your head. Regardless, it doesnt change the fact you want to die every idle moment your brain gets. Some of us are young and havent experienced much of life. Some of us are fully grown and independent adults with families and work that depend on them. At the end of the day, are we any different? Stress, anxiety, loneliness, frustration, exhaustion and constant thoughts of death. Why is it that we are plagued with these thoughts when so many around us seem to be normal? How do you guys cope with these thoughts? I dont believe in god or an afterlife, but I like to hope and think death will end my suffering. So many of us are only still around because we cant actually follow through with our attempts at suicide, or we cant put our parents/siblings/children through the pain of losing us. Im running out of time. Im running out of motivation. Im going through the motions. The fear of pain from the noose or the slit wrists or handful of pills stops us. One day Im gonna lose the war. One day Im going to get through the pain and look back at how I conquered years of depression and suicidal thoughts/ attempts. What keeps you going? | suicide |
All the Stars are closer R.I.P Black Panther. Youll always be one of the best Avengers in the Marvel universe Chadwick Boseman has sadly passed due to cancer. | non-suicide |
Should I give it to someone?I have a knife in my purse. It's a very sharp surgical exacto knife that comes in a medical kit. I think about it every day when the bad suicidal thoughts pop up. Everyday! Should I give it to someone, I know I need it gone but don't need the questions that go with it. Help. Shit | suicide |
Hospital bills make me wanna try again.Isnt it funny how life works? Someone calls the police on you, you go to the hospital for attempting to kill your self, get out the hospital and now I have more bills? Now I wanna try again and succeed. Fml? | suicide |
How emojis work on Reddit Heres a word of advice, if you use emojis youre most likely gonna get downvoted. The safe emojis are and , the semi safe emojis are ,, and , and the ones that guarantee downvotes are ,,, and pretty much anything along those lines. Stay safe out there | non-suicide |
Potassium CyanideSo I'm just confused I understand that cyanide is an industrial product but it is also known as the suicide pill that's used in alot of spy movies and I'm just a little confused as to why theres sites that sell potassium cyanide ORAL PILLS like if someone buys that stuff theres a % chance their trying to kill someone or themselves right? So anyway just wondering are these sites maybe fake or what. | suicide |
its sad to think ill never be able to draw anywhere near as good as some people here but i mean who would want to draw when i can weave a pretty damn good story, amirite? | non-suicide |
I don't fit.I have tried so hard, but I can't seem to fit in. I have average social skills but no one wants to talk with me out of school, I have a girl sitting behind me who's so like me, selfish but caring for the ones she loves, kind of a jerk sometimes but I like the way she is, you probably don't know how it feels to want so hard to know her better ,talk to her for hours but... there's always a fucking but,she kinda has a boyfriend I'm cool with him but I thin I should stay away.Back to the main point, we have this week off so I thought someone would invite me somewhere but since no one remembers me I haven't been invited anywhere as usual.when I see other peoples lives I think for myself, why can't I be happy like that or why can't I have a relationship like that and this keeps me thinking from pm to am awake, I no longer find my hobbies enjoyable nor have a normal diet I usually eat a lot or not eat at all. all my "friends" get together to do stuff and I get to stay at home playing videogames and thinking why I wasn't invited to thr\e movies or the mall.I don't feel accepted even though this in my second year at this school. no one wants to talk to me.i want people to notice my pain but I don't want to go around telling everyone my life story. I just want to give up. I am tired. I want to die. | suicide |
Nobody takes me seriously. Tired of cutting myself daily, just want to slice a vein and bleed out. I'm done with life.I post on Facebook pictures of me cutting myself and I post depressing poetry about killing myself but nobody cares. My posts end up getting reported and removed. Nobody goes out of their way to talk to me about whatever I'm feeling and that makes me feel more isolated. I lost custody of my daughter a year ago for going to court high off weed and even though I was able to stay clean and complete my court menu, I got tested again and failed so they took my rights back away. She's only . Im used to her waking me up in the morning and me putting her back to bed but I haven't done it in a long time. I only get to see her an hour a day. Sometimes less because I can't bring myself to see her after cutting myself. I cut daily. Or every other day. I cut when I can't smoke weed or when I can't drink cuz it's my last resort coping mechanism. Nobody seems to get that. Even my boyfriend doesn't know what to say to me anymore. I keep telling him he needs to educate himself on how to talk to people dealing with a mental health crisis but he brushes it off. I'm really at my breaking point. I tried to kill myself in the past while I was younger but failed. What the hell is stopping me from trying again? I think I might jump in front of a car this time and hopefully at least end up in a coma if I don't die instantly. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of living on auto pilot and not feeling anything from living. I just want to die. I hope to obtain a firearm soon from a friend just to take my life. | suicide |
Guys the kazoo kid liked my Tweet Im so happy this is the highlight of my week. I cant post a photo because rules but trust me on this one. | non-suicide |
What other languages do you know? I know Urdu just cant write it in proper form. I can write in English though like assay mehi kar sakhtahoon | non-suicide |
Praying that you die, is not going to do anythingJust something that I've learned. Hoping every night that you die, or like when someone dies and you say "that should've been me", it doesn't do %. Your cause of death is a secret | suicide |
What if the ancient Mayan people were dyslexic and meant instead of Maybe | non-suicide |
i wanna choke on a baguette so bad oui | non-suicide |
HelpWell I went to a university and I had bad semesters so I was dismissed , I couldnt cut it I was lazy and stupid. Now I have to tell my parents and Im so scared for their reaction my dad will probably hit me and my mom will see me as a failure and disown me like my family, I had high expectations. I most likely will get kicked to the streets. I honestly think suicide is the way out . Any suggestions. Please | suicide |
Duno what to doLife's been shit not gonna bore you all with it but I just don't know anymore. I duno if I want to live anymore, I duno what am gonna do with myself, for on the miscarriage front have nobody no friends no family nothing, all I got is a dog and I am scared I really am, am not afraid of death but I just duno anymore | suicide |
Literally nothing matters anymore.I've been nothing but a fucking potato for years now. There is no joy, humor, nor excitement. Only disappointment, shallow fake thrills, and anger. Life has no value anymore. I just want to fucking live again. I have it better than so many people in the world and here I am bitching about this stupid shit. Everyone hates me now so I guess it would be better if I just jumped off my fucking balcony. I want to do it so bad but what is left of my common sense told me to write this and seek help. I'm on the fucking brink. | suicide |
I told my crush liked her She was flattered by this. I told her that I told her this as way from moving on from her as I know she doesnt like me. She was cool with us being friends | non-suicide |
I left the teenager subreddit and I just want to say Y'all are toxic children who never matured beyond a third grade level and the reason why none of you have girl friends is because of that and the fact that you only look at women's looks and ask four girls out in one day not all of you are that bad but if you are what I just described your a cringy little child | non-suicide |
I need a doctorYou hear all those horror stories about going to the hospital with a mental illness, but I really feel I should but I think it would jsut make my mental health worse because I like to keep my days that same and to move and not even be in my home. Could I do that? | suicide |
I'm not feeling the Christmas spirit Just don't feel like Christmas this year | non-suicide |
Pedo there and pedo here PEDO PARTY LETS GOOOOOOO | non-suicide |
Just a bad daySo today has been a stressful day, almost couldn't pay rent, found out my mother has tumors in her lungs and they might be cancerous, my significant other got extremely pissed off at me because I forgot today was our anniversary because of the other stuff that piled on, ended up breaking my phone and now being constantly told by my other half that life would be better without me in it since all I do is make them miserable. I just want to end it all but because I have kids I don't want them to live with it. I am just at a loss. Edit: forgot to add my spouse thinks I am cheating on them while I am just crying. | suicide |
Guys I invented a new smiley emoticon {> it looks so happy | non-suicide |
Feeling just like I shouldn't be anymore.Don't really know why I'm posting this. Not going to kill myself right now but the thought keeps creeping in. I had such a strong will to live before that I never thought I'd even consider it. Now I just think that I'm such a bad person and go through so much shit I could just be at peace for once. The only time I'm at peace is when I'm sleeping and now I can barely do that. I just don't understand the point if it all. It's all just suffering and pain even when I'm trying to make others happy. I can't make myself happy for more than a few hours. Even that is hard. I just want it all to stop and now I don't really know what matters anymore. | suicide |
I'm getting to the point of killing myself.Hey everyone, my name is Will and I've been starting to feel depressed. Its starting to get to the point where I'm honestly thinking its better to be dead then it is to be alive. A little bit about myself, I am currently in my last year of highschool, I get just over passing grades (-%). I am unemployed and have no money, that with my family not be in a stable financial position. I have very bad anxiety which is where my depression comes from. I've been putting in job applications which I don't get responses from, I sent applications to colleges where I have very little hope of getting accepted because of my grades and my school record. My whole life is revolving around getting into a college so I have at least a little hope of getting a career that I can live off of, but if I can't get into college I don't know what to do. It seems like everything I had planned is just collapsing around me. I am anti social and don't have many friends. I spend most of my time by myself in my room avoiding people. I just don't know what to do right now. Thanks for taking the time to read this. | suicide |
Why does it feel like I've gained control of my mind after I nut? I'm being dead serious and I know others have this feeling too | non-suicide |
PSA for depressed year old people | non-suicide |
Girls just want BALLERS These fuckin girls are so insanely attracted to ballers. They literally shake and flood their pants after seeing one slightly tall dude with a fade holding this . Theyd suck his dick after one nanosecond interaction. Its more powerful than freaking Hawking Radiation | non-suicide |
I thought I was happy Every single fucking time I think Im happy and everything is okay. It turns out Im not. My mental health always comes back so shit. Why the fuck cant I just stay happy? I feel like Im going insane, this has been going on years, this time I thought it was different and I was better. Apparently not. Its driving me insane. I just dont want to be here right now. Its not even like I have a shit life ffs Im privileged as fuck. Whats wrong with me???? Is this shit even worth the pain anymore | non-suicide |
I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live.Being alive is the fucking worst and everyday I feel like I'm gonna break down. But I'm too afraid to die, so I guess I'll just suffer | suicide |
I don't know what to do anymoreI feel stuck. There's not really another way to put it. Life hasn't really changed for me in a long time and I don't think it will anytime soon. It not neccessarily bad. It's a great life, but not one i enjoy. I dont think i can answer what would make me enjoy it more though. There's nothing i want. I've tried therapy and meds, and maybe there's a cocktail of drugs out there that can make things better, or maybe i can apply myself better to a plan built from the ground up by a psychiatrist. Or maybe it's all on me, and whatever voice that says im a lazy piece of shit every day is actually completely right. I just want to not be sad about life. And i have no clue how to find that. | suicide |
She hit me again.In front of the toddler. Again. Apologized. Again. Promised not to do it again. Again. Screamed at me to get out of the room after. Again. Called her family to happy-talk about how great things are. Again. Locked herself in the bedroom while I bathed the kid and put him to bed by myself. Again. I *could* walk away. I *could* grab any one of the kitchen knives and make her clean up whats left of me. But that leaves the kid with her. Alone. I could try to take the kid with me. With no money. No place to live. No car. No bank account. Just me and a screaming hungry toddler sleeping on rocks until we died of starvation or get raped to death by the cops or eaten by dogs. Or found, more likely than not. Locked up, drugged, restrained, beaten and raped some more, brainwashed some more. Declared incompetent. Put at her complete mercy. Get a bill for $, for being locked up. Have that hung over my head. Getting hit every month is the least harmful option here. Fuck. | suicide |
The love of my life left and I am at my point.I'm not sure what to say, I've never been good with these sorts of things, but I am at a loss as to what to do. One of my best friends, who I was deeply in love with, took her own life. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. We at one point had a relationship, but for reasons I understood at the time, she decided we needed time apart. In the interim we remains extremely close and talked to each other every day. I always had feelings for her, but I wanted her to be happy on her own terms. She started dating again and I stayed by her and helped her through a lot of the things she went through. We both battled the same demons, we both thought about suicide at some point, but we always promised Wed never leave the other behind. She had been with someone recently who tested her like a bootycall. Made all sorts of promises he never intended to keep, and once she was in the thick of it basically broke her heart. It was devastating to hear her in it, and I did everything I thought I could to see her through. On the last night I spoke to her she said she loved me, that she was never disappointed in me and that I. Was the only guy she ever trusted. I wanted to tell her so bad all the things I wanted to say, but in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't what she wanted to hear, or needed to right, now. She asked me to call her in the morning and that's when I awoke to my nightmare. It's been two months since she took her own life. I haven't been able to much much else aside from work and cry. She was the only person who made me want to be better, try to be better. Now it all seems so trivial. Pointless. I had never met anyone before her that lit a fire in me I thought could never be extinguished. I can't believe I was wrong. She mean the world to me, I'd have done anything for her if she'd have asked. I can't do this.i can't keep going on when the best part of me is no longer here. | suicide |
Does this seem good for a first kiss? Im gonna rant so here I go. Basically because of quarantine I cant really do anything outside so I just stay online. I met this amazing girl and after a few days she caught feeling. I asked her out and we started dating. Over time we grew closer and closer together and now we want to meet in person. She wont know this but Ill be there at her house an hour before the new year. In the last minutes wed go on her roof and look at the stars and the fireworks. Once the countdown begins wed stand up, Id grasp onto her, pull her in, tell her how much I love her, and give my first kiss to her at midnight of the new year | non-suicide |
I'm too much of a pussywhy can't i just do it.....useless at life and useless at ending it. fuck | suicide |
Countin so much money, you could call me cashier, yeah filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
Everything slowly crashing down around me, nothing is looking up, want to end it allOver the past two months, my entire business I've been running has been failing. I have no skills that could be used for a job, and I couldn't even get one a month ago when I tried. I have less than $ in the bank, and I owe $ to people that need it this week, and I'm under contracts to pay them. Every thing that was good in my life has turned bad: my job is failing, my money is gone, my friends have deserted me, my family hates me, and I dont know what to do. There's a five foot drop right outside my window, and I just want to jump. I really don't know what's keeping me here at all, I can't even go a day without crying, and I don't know the last time I smiled. | suicide |
Chronic pain Been in pain for years and I want to end it and don't know how. Have seen different doctors with no one who knows how to help. I have a family and don't know what to do. But am seeing a new doctor Thursday I hope she can help. Otherwise don't know what to do. I want the pain to be over. Thanks for listening. | suicide |
too much of anything is bad prove me wrong, find something that too much of isnt bad. | non-suicide |
F cant sleep, lets talk shit, DMs open I like to run, hike and play video games | non-suicide |
How do I whistle with my fingers? I try to make an O with my fingers and then put my tongue back and blow, but I never make a noise. If anyone has any tips I would definitely appreciate | non-suicide |
Anyone willing to talk?I just feel off right now, I feel strange doing this but Im just trying to keep my mind off things. | suicide |
Loneliness preventing recoveryYes I have friends, but they wont text or call and ask how Im doing, theyll bully me for things out of my control, and they dont seem all too thrilled when Im around. I just need friends around me that will hang out and tell me how cool I am and that I matter to them and not having them is worsening my depression and stopping any recovery I make. I was diagnosed with MDD a few years ago, just Incase that makes any difference | suicide |
Just wanted to let it out So I've wanted to post about my issues for awhile now and honestly if I don't erase this it's a miracle. TL;DR: I got bad grades and now I'm stressed as fuck So due to the virus people quarantined and for the first few months I was struck by depression (your choice if you think a thirteen year old can have depression, I didn't think so too) and being a boy I felt I shouldn't tell anyone and my friends drifted away from me and I found myself staying up all night browsing this app either procrastinating or distracting myself. But eventually I fought my way foward and came out of it yayyyy! I also told a girl who I had feels for about well, my feelings and suprise suprise she felt the same and now I am in my first relationship with a friendly, beautiful and just so extraordinary person who makes me feel and who I am in love with (again maybe you think it's young but I am just really happy about that). But of course good times come as fast as they go and here is my problem.... So I've always been above average for school - like a /A+ average but in grade (I think the highest middle school grade for Americans) I've gone to to to now (what I've calculated) -. Now I am A) from an minority family B) attending a private school so obviously I am scared as fuck but also I am just so tired and honestly I nearly cut myself and it sucks. I'm not good at anything else and good grades have been always been my thing (I don't do sports) and when I stop getting good grades......what am I? This is especially important because the jobs I want need high qualifications and it just makes me very stressed. Anyways I have four more exams to study for and my report comes in a fortnight so I guess I have time so cheers, thanks for listening and see ya! | non-suicide |
every day Im getting closer and closer to killing myselfevery day I keep thinking of more things I want to do before I kill myself. like to leave an explanation, and letters, and stuff like that. so far I wanna leave a video of me just talking about something but being happy, no crying. I want it to be a positive video, itll be the last time my family or boyfriend see me alive and talking and everything. I also have like tons of pictures of myself on my phone that I never share with anyone. I dont have social media, and I dont send them to people. theyre just for me, but because of this, my family and my boyfriend have like no pictures of me. so I wanna get them made into actual pictures and put some on a jump drive so they have happy pictures of me smiling or of me with my dogs (I take those a lot lol). I wanna write letters to them too. its just my mom, brother, dad and then my boyfriend thats in my life. Im not sure what ill say, ill probably try to keep it positive. I might leave a separate note with an explanation and saying that like nobody couldve stopped me, and I tried really hard. and I hope nobodys mad at me. but I think my dad most of all would possibly be upset because he believes if you kill yourself then you go to hell. but I already feel like Im in hell most days. and I really have no other options left to try and make my life any better. I really feel like this is the best option for me. once my mom goes back to work on the th, ill start writing and making the videos and printing pictures and everything. then ill do it eventually. not sure when because my moms birthday is in august and my brother, boyfriend, and dads is in september so that could ruin their celebrations, or it could help them move on and be happy. idk. I know they could be upset about me killing myself but I know itll be better for them in the end. I wanted to kill myself on my birthday or just in my birthday month, that was june. I dont know why I didnt do it then. | suicide |
anyone down to chat? title says it all, im bored af. slide into my dms | non-suicide |
Sometimes I wish I was never born. But I dont want to end it.Not yet, anyway. | suicide |
Im doomedNOTHING can go well My life is just bad things and bad things And perfect people with perfect lives complaining about simple things, dont ask me why but it makes me feel very alone Im tired and so sick of this | suicide |
Means to an endI've had it. I really tried, I did it all. But let's not kid ourselves any longer. My existence is meaningless, I can't do anything right. I've been fooling myself with positivism and trying to hold on to the tears and the pain that really is crippling me. There's no therapy and no pill that's gonna change me or make me a better person because the truth is that I'm shit and I don't deserve anything. I've come to terms with this statement. Everything that happens every day reminds me of so. Enough with the up beat bullshit. Too many failures, too much pain, too much abuse. It's like my mind has an electrical shock. You know when you leave the tv on and then there's nothing on the screen just distortion and that very characteristical sound? That's my head and my brain. Dead. I've been losing appetite and just overworking. Trying to please everyone, fill everyone's needs. Not enough. It would be a lie to say I'm not afraid anymore because, just accepting the reality is hard enough, and attempting to go through the end is scary when you don't succeed, but I'm so sad and drained that I can't see anymore out there for me. I wish I could take all of your pain out there. I feel selfish for posting when there are so many people struggling in this place. Please forgive me, I needed to vent. Don't know how long I'll keep the act. I don't think I'll make it after the holidays. This time I think it's good to go through all the way. No more games nor mistakes. Please forgive me again. Love for everyone and specially to anyone that took the time to read this nonsense from this loser. | suicide |
Why do people like this shit?Im tired of it always being my problem for why Im not happy. Without fail, society always tells me Im a loser. If it wasnt for the pressure I constantly feel from society, Id be happier. But society wont find its way the fuck out of my head. Everywhere I go, Im constantly reminded of what I havent accomplished yet. Im at a point where I feel so defeated, that I dont want to accomplish anything in life. Not even an exaggeration. I dont have a single goal. So essentially, I just want death. Ive gone from lbs to since September. Im not even working out. Im just under-eating. For people to get the message that Im incapable of dealing with the world on my own, they may need to see me drop another - pounds. Im a guy whos , so Im already skinny at lbs. I have no clue what I want to accomplish with this message. Venting has never helped me. | suicide |
Just thoughts(x- r/depression)For some reason I keep thinking about how about a month ago I read someone on here saying they came home and put a belt around they're neck and swung for a second until they decided not to do it. After reading that I thought about it and wanted to try it out in some way. So I just put the belt around my neck and pulled as hard as possible. Kind of enjoyed it. Obviously I cant match my body weight when it comes to how hard I could pull so I guess I just got a little taste. Still not sure if thats how I would want to do it if I did. Idk why I'm having these suicidal thoughts. Wish I could get medication. I dont intend on actually acting on these thoughts anytime soon, though I did consider putting the belt on again last night but didnt. Decided cutting was enough. Edit: Was just now thinking about just walking into traffic, wondering if people would stop or not | suicide |
Yo can I get big titty goth girlfriend I blame raven and gwen on my obsession on goth girls | non-suicide |
I want to die aloneWhat I honestly want is to be diagnosed with terminal cancer, but not tell anyone. I want to just walk into the mountains and shoot myself somewhere secluded. No horrific body to clean up if the animals take care of it, right? Nobody will really notice. I'll just pass out of memory, as it should be. | suicide |
Literally looking for attention.I have no message. Just want someone to tell me everything is alright. EDIT: I will be going now. Thank you all for your support. | suicide |
co op on sdv pc? asking on here instead of r/StardewValleyFriends bc i'm not sure if i want to commit to a long term co op, just want to see what it's like bc ive only played solo before :) dm me here or on discord bruhh# | non-suicide |
If I were to suicide last week, I wouldn't have to suffer right now.... | suicide |
I think this is itCurrently crying in my closet waiting for the balls to go through with it, just can't figure out how to hang myself with my belt. Don't even know why I'm typing this but if this is it then goodbye. | suicide |
I don't think I had any real friends in high school For years I have thought that I have had good friends in high school. But I have graduated and looking back at it, I don't think most of these people whom I worshipped were actually my friends, except for maybe one or two people. Now that I think about it, they've only used me as a toy to make them happy. They would squeeze all the funny and humor I had, and when they were done playing with it they just throw the toy away and go off in their own little groups. Fucking sucks. Because that's not what true friends do. True friends stand up for one another and help one another. Friends fight for one another and support one another. Not just use the other person as some sort of toy that you throw away once you're done using it. I'm now in college and it's safe to say that I am never looking back at that again. Fuck high school | non-suicide |
Is this even possible? A dude in my Warzone game just popped an ADVANCED UAV. Yes, it said: "Enemy launched an advanced UAV, were exposed!" Is he a hacker? | non-suicide |
dm me and ill insult u for free idk what to put here so for filler text we got some carti lyrics: Yeah, I'm in the coupe with a cutter, yeah, sippin' on Wock' (What?) Yeah,postedwith my brother,yeah, he got a mop (What?Yeah) Posted with my brother, yeah, he got a mop (What? Yeah) Posted with my brother (Brother), yeah, he got a mop (What? Slatt) Posted with my brother, yeah, he got a mop | non-suicide |
New to this. Should I keep writing? Opinion? Consumed by the buzzing thats inside of me Louder louder louder I cant hear my thoughts anxiety Hour after hour panic attacks are a normality monsters in my bedroom watching while Im sound asleep Monsters in my head scream thoughts that make me start doubting things Will I be successful or will I jump and spread my wings Life is such a dreadful constant loop Im ending things | non-suicide |
I want to sleep and not wake up anymoreIm so tired of everything. From dealing with the break up, online classes, piles of readings and recitations that I cant answer. I just want to stop feeling everything. Im just but I feel so tired. I dont wanna die but I cant think of a good future ahead of me. | suicide |
Taking Shawty applications Ion even care at this point Ive hit below rock bottom at this point | non-suicide |
dude, why tf are chromosomes called "xx" and "xy"? they don't even look like those letters and female and male chromosomes look similar, ngl ill post pics in a second to prove my point | non-suicide |
cannot decide when..My parents are visiting me right now, so I have to wait till Friday. And I want to be there for my husband. I love him and that the only thing that stops me from going through with it is thinking about how upset he'd be. But I can't hold on for longer. It's been more than a month or two now.. Every night I close my eyes I think about me hanging from a rope and that thought soothes me a lot. All the pain gone. I wish there were a way to reboot myself, but there isn't. I have no strength to live everyday. I force myself to wake up, to get ready, to go to work, to come back home and try to live a routine life. At work I think about not being alive anymore and that helps a lot.. The only solution I see is ceasing to exist.. I had begged for support but it is difficult to be taken seriously if you pretend that everything is fine externally.. All I yearned for is the feeling of being wanted, needed in his life.. I maybe oversensitive but all I wanted, only for a few months, only till the time was tough, was love, no 'jokes' about being happy when I am not around. Just a few words everyday about how much I mean to him. I fantasize about being in a fatal car accident, without hurting anyone else of course.. No one needs to know that I killed myself.. will be easier for everyone to get over it.. cannot be strong anymore.. not sure what to do.. and when to do it.. waiting till Friday seems impossible now.. | suicide |
I think a restaurant I went to a year ago was sexist. For context, I'm a male. I went to this restaurant in my city for my aunt and uncle's wedding anniversary. The food wasn't bad. I had to go to the bathroom, and this is February, so pre-virus restrictions. There were three dudes waiting in line, so I waited behind them. The bathroom setup went like this: There was a women's bathroom and an all-gender bathroom. I thought it was weird that there was no men's bathroom. As I waited for the three dudes to finish up, I think six or seven women passed me and used the bathroom in the women's room. I got a peek inside the women's bathroom (I didn't go in) but from the view I got, it looked like a nice and modern bathroom with two stalls, a flower pot (with fake flowers) and mints. Then the guy in front of me stepped out and I stepped into the all-gender bathroom. It was... crap. The tile had cracks and was crappy. There was one toilet and a sink, and the bathroom in general was dirty. The broom and dustpan were still in there too. The toilet had some scratches and so did the mirror. The entire time as I sat there taking a dump, I was thinking, "what the fuck?" The fact that the women got their own restroom which was nice and clean and had two stalls and the men were stuck with an all-gender bathroom which was crap just pissed me off so much. If I'm being sexist let me know, but I just think this is outrageous, this is unfair. | non-suicide |
goodbye | suicide |
After two strangers saved meI had a long wonder and after a long time I thought it was inevitable that I would die tonight, I went to a different, higher place and I just sat there staring at the stars thinking about how beautiful life is, but I knew it was the only way I could feel better. A lot of police cane and took me to my mothers, I really really just want to be okay:( | suicide |
Lies finally caught up with me.Hi guys, thanks for reading this, and before I get started I completely realize that everything I did is my own fault and no one else's. I don't really know how to even get started so I'll just jump right in. I earned my bachelor's in psychology today, which would normally be a cause for celebration, its the nail in my tombstone. For the last years, I have been telling my parents that I have been working towards a master's degree when in reality I was struggling to finish my bachelors(took my useless depressed ass years to earn what normal people do in ). My mom is convinced I'm going to go to medical school, but not only do I probably not have a good enough GPA, but I also don't have several of the prerequisite classes, so even if I somehow managed to accidentally do good on the MCATs I'm still fucked. I honestly don't know what I can do at this point and I feel like I have ruined enough lives. I can only see one way forward and honestly, I have been thinking of doing it for years now. I know how pointless it is to say sorry after all of this, but I think if anyone out there deserves to kill themselves it's me. I hope anyone who reads this is able to learn something from my stupidity, please don't try and lie about your life, it always catches up eventually. | suicide |
So closeI'm ready to end it. I don't want to be here anymore. I just love my fiance so much that I can't stand the thought of hurting him. I just can't believe I'm a bad person for going to the hospital for a "severe kidney infection" as it ended up being. My dad says it's nothing. I wish it were genuinely going to take me out, but I guess I can. Earlier I came so close, I'm hurting so bad but my pain is nothing. I deserve to make it real, I burden everyone | suicide |
Are you a Jason Momoa? * Slicks back hair. * Hi. | non-suicide |