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I miss my month old son and without him there's no point in life at all.So a year ago I gave up everything for a woman i loved. Moved from the UK to Arkansas, she was pregnant at the time and wanted to be around her family. On June th he was born, Rayne Andrew Brady Stephen. He had my name, looked so much like me yet had his mothers eyes and smile and he is perfect in every way. For the first weeks I was there and then one day I found out she had a registered sex offender around my child and lost my cool and fought said offender; for that outburst she left me and I haven't seen my son in around months now as she won't let me. She's destroyed my character, lost me my friends, has convinced everyone I'm a meth and heroin addict while still letting this sex offender around my child and the police don't care when I tell them this as her small town police are friends with the family and corrupt. I can't afford the dollars needed for an attorney to fight for him, so she's already won unfortunately and without him in my life and with no friends or family here I don't see any point in living at all. My life, my family, has already been taken from me. So I'm already dead as far as I'm concerned and with nobody left to care I'm gone and him at an age where it won't hurt him I just feel like this is the time for me to do this. After all he'll be raised on her lies and thinking I abandoned him anyway. | suicide |
My heart is so broken, my chest physically hurts.I just get closer and closer every day to ending everything. The only reason I havent yet is because I worry about my children. My mother is a fucking crazy person (like, legit psych patient), but there is no one else I would trust to take care of my kids. Their dads are not invested in the ability to thrive. I take care of everything from school, to after school care, to doctors appointments, clothes, food, etc. I know my mom would pick up and take care of my kids, but shes so labile and emotionally/mentally abusive I cant imagine putting my kids through what my reading was like. Im just so hopeless. In a dead end job(s). Dont have time for school or to better myself. My oldest son is autistic so a lot of my energy goes to his special needs. I dont sleep anymore, and I binge eat or dont eat for days. I just came back from a two week vacation (without the kids or family), and that was the happiest Ive been in years. I stayed in bed all day and slept, read, or did puzzles. I went on a hike once, but was mostly to myself. No schedule, no responsibilities. I came home and my mother had trashed my house. She didnt take care of my animals or plants (most of the plants were dead and my house was covered in urine and feces). I hate everything about my life. Ive been trying to figure out how Im going to word to my live-in bf that I need a break. I hate my mother. I hate my job. But I can not describe how much I love my children. A very close boyfriend/best friend killed himself years ago, and I will not forget how much I hurt, and how I still hurt years later. I dont want to put my kids through that. But, I cant stand this pain anymore. I see a therapist, and I take meds, but I feel like a shell. A hollow shell. A hopeless, listless, emotionless shell. At what point is it more fair to completely remove myself from my kids life than traumatize and scar them with how absent I am? | suicide |
Nobody CaresNobody cares if I'm dead. All this time my sister has been the favorite. I'm a failure. | suicide |
It is just me or do vacuums smell good Yeah bassically just the title nothing else to it # # # | non-suicide |
why is happiness always temporary i just started feeling better days ago and my gf decides to leave me, it just saddens me even more that i cant be happy for longer than weeks at a time. | non-suicide |
brokenstill haven't ventured past the front garden since September of , recently had my th birthday and my mother insisted I celebrate it, although I feel as if I have nothing to celebrate having been inside doing nothing for years, she gets upset. I don't understand any of my emotions, I'm fucking stuck man. Planned to kill myself in July , couldn't do it, couldn't finish school, can't live. | suicide |
What's it like being committed?I have an appointment with my councelor, and I'm thinking of asking for help. Like being committed to a place, maybe for a while. I'm destroying my life rn, and idk how to stop. I'm in so much pain I dont see the point in stopping. If I go to a place, will I be ok? Or will it be the same as just being home. | suicide |
I dont really knowIve kinda already taken wayyy too much asprin, but i dont want to hit the lethal dose. I feel a bit loopy and cold. I just really need someone to talk to. Please if anyones around, i really dont wanna die, but i dont know If i can help myself | suicide |
My sister, the mortician.Today, I received a text message from my old sister(She recently started her career as a funeral director/embalmer) saying that she has received a body that passed away from a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head. She needed someone to talk to, not because of the sight of the injuries, but because she was suicidal at one point and thought that it couldve been her if she didnt think a second less to do it. I got pretty stunned when she texted me that it was a suicide victim, I wanted to ball my eyes out because it couldve taken one more second and the person mightve snapped out of it and couldve been alive still. If youre having about suicidal thoughts, keep in mind that even the funeral home will even cry for you. | suicide |
My goal is to get through It's been an awful end of the year. I know next year is going to be worse. I'm not focused on being happy any more. I'm just focused on getting through this year. One day at a time, I'm going to get through it. | suicide |
i am never trusting anyone who hates cats thats it im not giving any contexr do with that what u will | non-suicide |
I dont think Ive ever needed a hug so bad it feels like ive not felt anothers touch in too long. | non-suicide |
I am at the seaside and I just want to drownI am at the seaside right now with my parents and I just want to fucking drown. I feel so unconfortable in my own skin. There are tons of people here and I can't stand seeing another human being looking at me. I just want to stay in my hotel room all day, I can't go outside but I need to because my fucking parents get upset when they see me depressed. I would like to drown so they can think it was an accident. Help | suicide |
I want to disappearI did something that has doomed me. My anxiety and depression are the only thing left of me. | suicide |
Do you have the app Shazam on your phone? I like it a lot since Im shit at naming/remembering songs | non-suicide |
How can I do this without leaving a body?Seriously. I am trying to figure out how I can sneak into an incinerator or something similar and die and have my body turn into unidentifiable dust. The other idea I have is to get into a trash compactor or maybe a dumpster and get crushed and taken to a landfill and buried without being discovered. My concern with this scenario is that after I expire, someone might spot my body and give it back to my family. That's what I am trying to avoid. | suicide |
Tired of livingSometimes I wonder what's the point of living anymore, maybe if i killed myself I would be reborn as someone else and start over my life again. I know I royally fucked up this one maybe I can start a new game. Partly why I think like this is because I know its not gonna get better. I already fucked my life goals and even I achieved them later they wouldn't really be satisfying cause I'm older. Its rather out of desperation than outta passion. | suicide |
cyberpunk might be a disappointment for some of y'all, so here's something you can do instead of playing cyberpunk cyberbullying that's right baby that shits soo much fun, you should def try it | non-suicide |
I've never felt this alone in my entire life and I don't know what to do.I have no one to turn to. I'm so lonely. I'm pretty much at the edge and don't really care anymore. My mind won't turn off, I'm just trapped inside and can't relax. I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm so scared, I don't want to die, but I don't know if I can keep doing this to myself. The anxiety and depression alone are driving me insane and making me sick to my stomach. I just feel fucked up and there's nothing that can help me. I've tried everything from exercising to eating right but nothing will change how I feel on the inside. I'm fucked. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. If you are still reading this thank you, I love you. | suicide |
One Hostage Bank Robbery Do you think it might be possible to rob a bank by holding yourself hostage like give me the money or I'll shoot myself? Not to be taken seriously don't attempt | non-suicide |
Im not heterophobic like everyone says I am I just dont agree with their life style, i respect them as long as they dont do it infront of me | non-suicide |
I think women should be allowed to send nudes (consensually) if they want to, but Sending nudes as a minor is CHILD PORN!! Idc if you really really trust the person youre sending to. Thats child porn and you have no idea where that could end up Please be safe on the internet:( | non-suicide |
I cant take this anymore. #depressed Guys, im so depressed jesus i want to kill myself. I dont think my parents love me at all and my girlfriend just left me. My brother died and my parents are gonna get divorced i cant take this anymore. goodbye | non-suicide |
Ive got a weird story I had class earlier today. And I had to speak for something but I had just woken up so deep voice go brrr. But I dont speak much and I dont sound anything like I look so everyone was confused for a solid s. Im pretty sure half of them thought I was faking it but eh. It was kinda funny for me. | non-suicide |
i really miss my first reddit acct tbh thimerosalhoe you will always live in my memories :,( | non-suicide |
Free outros for my youtube homies hehe check out my video! I made free outros to use :-) | non-suicide |
J'aime la pluie a me donne envie de me blottir avec quelqu'un (je pense une personne en particulier) mais malheureusement il y a une pandmie et mme s'il n'y en avait pas, elle ne voudrait pas se blottir avec moi en fait, je ne veux pas faire a, ce serait gnant ce stade | non-suicide |
How do you tell a girl shes pretty? My best friend is convinced that she isnt pretty when she obviously is, I've tried everything I can to tell her this but she wont budge. Can anyone help? | non-suicide |
Haven't posted here in about two weeks.. I talked about maybe killing myself last weekend, obviously I pussied out. I'm sick of trying to overdose and then just waking up with a terrible stomach ache. I'm so sick of this constant heartache x.x | suicide |
No longer a virgin I moved out Virginia yall | non-suicide |
I was days strong I just had to get a boner smh Im disappointed in myself | non-suicide |
Thinking of cutting myself :)Anyone else? Been feeling really down and kinda want to cut myself. Im afraid of how painful itll be and that my parents will find out. Idk. Maybe its a bad idea | suicide |
Why does litterally everyone watch anime? I don't see why anime is so good. FillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFillerFiller | non-suicide |
I have figured out why no one in Chicago knows how to drive I made a bumper sticker that was meant to be a play on the student driver stickers. The ones that say Be patients Student driver except I changed student driver and I posted it on r/Chicago and no one understood what it was. They thought I was saying Chicago drivers are patient, now it all makes sense, they never took a drivers ed course. Also like the only requirement to get a license in Chicago is that you need to have proof that you lived there more than one year. | non-suicide |
Lock down has made me realise that if all my family members were gone, I'd rather be gone too.It's been a massive upheaval for everyone, I think. The way I do my job has changed completely. I used to enjoy work, but now I no longer enjoy it at all. It's so hard to get out of bed every single day, and I'm not even interested in my hobbies anymore. My boyfriend is tired of being emotional support, which he's been for years without any changes, and he's probably about to break up with me. If my family members were dead, I think that would be the last barrier. I'd rather be gone, too. | suicide |
Where the catboys at Or catgirls, where the pussies at | non-suicide |
Im having a debate with my crush We are on a call and she says the more 'y's you add to hey the more the person likes you, but i say just two y's (so heyy) means they really like you, so please reddit opionins | non-suicide |
I left her on read! I was talking to my GF ant then I just fell asleep. I had spent the whole night up with her so I hope she doesnt get sad or mad! | non-suicide |
I love guns and military stuff but I look down on Trump supporters People who don't believe in science are inferior. The world would be a better place if everyone believed in evolution and global warming. It will be a non religious scientific civilization that will conquer the galaxy. We need to ban reality shows and excessive materialism! Down with the Trump supporters! Down with the SJWs! | non-suicide |
y'all should join my subreddit i've had a it for a while and i'm not sure how it even got members r/cursedpcbuilds | non-suicide |
cowardthere isnt any hope for me. there really isnt. and i know it. im still too much of a coward to actually kill myself, all those times i said i would and i never have, obviously. i really just want to die. i cant bring myself to do it though. i dont want my family to care. they probably wont, anyway. but i dont want to die, and have them all be sad. i dont want to run away and die, and have them scared and hopeing i come back. ( same with my online friends, my irl friends dont give a shit. ) i wish i could just stop existing, and nobody would remember me. im seriously considering doing it. do i care about the consequences anymore? no. it might be selfish, but im done. im just done. there is no point in living anymore. i dont really care about anyones feelings. i just want to be gone and done. | suicide |
What goes through your head when you pull the plug?When you've just swallowed that bunch of pills, or kicked the chair from under your feet, what do you think? | suicide |
It just feels inevitable.Closest I was to going through with it was NYE going into . Was deep into writing the suicide note and for some reason I stopped. It was pretty much non-existent for all of and popped up once earlier this year. but recently literally everything that angers me to any extent every single day makes me want to just go through with it and kill myself because some problems literally just can't be solved. i can easily just grab the huge kitchen knife and slit my throat right now. literally the only reason i've hesitated to go through with it is the same reason as anyone, family. don't give a fuck about anything else. there are a fuckton of people that for whatever reason i wish would do the same thing. but i can easily admit i'd be down to go first. as much as i want to, i know i'd regret it the second i attempted it. but what do you do when you don't *want* to be better? i don't have any drive to restart most of the other parts of my life. i know how much of a process it's going to be, just to live an at-most decent life at worst-a slog. instead of throwing time/effort/money into a pit, i could just off myself \_()\_/ being frustrated with something shouldn't get normal people to this point every time. but it feels right, feels like this is where i'm *supposed* to end up every time. it just feels inevitable. whether it's assisted \~- years from now or whatever. even earlier, once the people i care about are gone, i have ties to the world. people say nothing good comes easy but nothing good is worth the huge fucking process it takes to get there so what's the purpose of pretending like i want it? wasting all that time/effort/money just to not even have that guaranteed? | suicide |
Sick of looking at screens.I spend % of the day looking at screens. Using the Internet on a screen, going to work and looking at a screen (stopped showing up but that's okay, now I stay home and play games on a screen). I have been unable to sleep all week so from pm to am I lay in bed and look at a smaller portable screen that ruins my eyes. This is bad because later when im looking at a bigger screen I'll find that the bigger screen has become harder to see. Sometimes I will hang out with friends. We usually end up looking at a screen together, only now I don't even like what I'm seeing on the screen. Occasionally we will switch it up by looking at a gigantic screen in a big dark room with a bunch of strangers. I like to skateboard when I'm not being a sniveling vagina. Feels real nice when I land a trick and then get to see how it looks on a screen. I'm afraid of girls, so instead of trying to talk to them I watch them on screens. With no pants on. At least I'm only , so even though I've dropped out of college twice there is still hope that one day I'll be able to direct all this time I have spent looking at screens towards doing or creating something positive that people will then see on a screen. | suicide |
I can breath woo My parents have refused to get me my inhalers for like years and I just got them after I turned and was having some asthma problems and damn they work fast like I can actually breath fucking hell they are effective. | non-suicide |
i need help. just got kicked out. hey guys. my mom just kicked me out out of the blue and i need $ for a hotel deposit. shes always treated me like this but i need a place to stay for the night. | non-suicide |
Final Suicide noteMost of yall dont know me, but I still feel like I should say goodbye. Im going to jump off an ft tall parking garage. I cant do this anymore. Im just in too much pain. I havent ate in days or slept in days. I am eating my final meal right now as a type. Then Im driving to the city and going through with my plan. Im sorry. | suicide |
Should i just killmyself? I think i have Klinefelter syndrome even if i don't have it i have most of the symptomsI'm male turning . I don't know whats wrong with me. Wide hips, man boobs, feminine hands, no adam's apple. Should i just kill myself? even if i don't have Klinefelter syndrome whats the point? can i even change my body at this age, would i get testosterone from some exercise and my body correct itself? i dont fucking know anymore everyone else is so manly i feel like a enlarged kindergarden child | suicide |
I know there are people out there who care for me I know I am fortunate enough to have a roof under my head I know I am fortunate enough to afford meals per day but despite all these, i still have this urge of wanting to end my life ugh this just sucks huh? | non-suicide |
I don't cry much, but what's it usually like? Some tears are coming out of my eyes now, but I don't feel anything. Might just be that my eyes were dry or something, or I yawned withiut realising | non-suicide |
m bored outta his mind HMU Title really bored and willing to talk about anything (expect sexual stuff) filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
I'm gonna kill myself soon.This post will probably be taken down. I've tried posting about my depression else where asking for help and nobody responds ever. I've actually been downvoted for asking for help. But I just cant do it anymore. I hurt people. I don't want to but I can never do anything right. I can't love right. I can't be a good friend. And now I have this monster headache because I can't sleep right. I just want it all to go away. And no this isn't me asking for help. I've tried that before and it didn't work. This is me saying what I feel. It might help someone. Eventually. Probably not. But there's a chance. Idk when I'll do it but soon. I can't think anymore. I feel weak. Idk what happened. I just want to feel normal again. | suicide |
Oreo+Milk Do you really eat Oreos with milk? | non-suicide |
I'm thinking about committing suicide because of what I've done and I'm worried of consequences, should I just go ahead and kill myself ?I was depressed and so I made prank calls to a gas station. I said I was gonna light it up on fire and loot it and throw molotov cocktails into it to light it on fire. I am now worried that I'm going to jail for this. I did it twice. I was depressed and wasn't thinking correctly. Should I just go ahead and kill myself ? | suicide |
my family makes me feel disgusting, gross, and nasty it doesnt help especially when im in a redneck town, i wish i could just topple over, throw up my entrails and dieso im gonna get straight to the point, theres some moments where i feel clean and comfortable with myself, but every time my dad, little brother, or sisters walk through the door i immediately start feeling gross and unclean, i feel like a flea ridden dirty dog, my sisters scream at each other, and my mom screams at my little sister, which makes me end up feeling like a hobo when my family yells at me i feel like i have lice and ill never be clean again i live in a redneck town, nobody here is my age and everyone here is rude as hell to me and my family, my mom wanted to move to a more safer town but since my parents are divorced she didnt want to drive an hour from there to here, so shes trapped here with me on top of all this ive been unable to brush my teeth, go into my room or bathe because we have no shampoo, conditioner or body wash i hope this all ends in my dead body being thrown in a muddy ditch if someone can tell me if this is neglect then please tell me because i deserve it also my mom is very very sweet i love her but i didnt ask to be born into this disgusting place we call tennessee (no offense to the people who love this state i just wanna burn a large portion of this state with me in the fire) sorry for the messy layout + rambling | suicide |
My second post hereBefore you read this, read my previous post: So, here I am again. I started to get out of depression of always, but then I got back to it. I bought some clothes, a phone and made a FB account. But nothing changed. In fact classmates started to ignore me, and my crush doesn't even bother responding. These made me feel so bad, that I started cutting myself. Nothing serious, just some scratch. Today was one of the worst days of my life, because I was a little bit jealous. Jealousity + depression = suicidal thoughts. I tried to ignore it, but then I faced another problem: my face. I just noticed how ugly I am, or at least that's what I think about myself. I'd appreciate any help. | suicide |
my favourite pink floyd song is brain damage that is all | non-suicide |
Five years and nothings gotten betterFive years being sad and I keep holding on hoping maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be the day where everything might get better. But Ive waited long enough. I really feel as though I cant fight much longer. Im out of energy. I only ever tried to do right by everyone. All my friends I had. Everyone I ever cared for. But it wasnt enough. They all fade off. I was never important enough to them. Everybody fucking leaves and I get left hurt. I thought things were gonna be okay because I had good friends I loved being around. But theyre gone now. College is over and most of our group are either moving away to different parts of the country or staying in town to work full-time. They all live too far away from me and I cant afford to bus. I thought he might be different. My boyfriend. For a solid few weeks, for the first time ever I had something to really live for. I wasnt living for tomorrow I was living for today. I was living for him because I couldnt live for myself, and I thought maybe he could help me live for myself. But even now, hes fading away. Wants to have a break and think, because we keep arguing about this stupid incident that happened a while back. I wish I could rewind time so I never freaked out at that club and ruined the night for everyone. I wish I just hadnt gone at all. But I cant rewind time and I cant do anything to fix what happened. Im powerless. And hes leaving me all alone. My worst nightmares are coming true and nobody is here to help. Im truly on my own. Im going to spend a little while thinking, and then Im going to act. Maybe Ill hurt myself. Or maybe Ill try kill myself. Or maybe Ill just accept isolation and change myself. Perhaps some people just simply cannot be loved. Perhaps some simply are meant to be alone. Perhaps maybe I was mean to be one of them . | suicide |
I truly will not make it to .Im going to die. I know it. Im going to kill myself. It wont get better. | suicide |
If I ever make you uncomfy you gotta tell me. straight up. I can not read social cues to save my life. Most of the time im going off of how I feel. I really dont wanna make any of yall uncomfortable so you gotta tell me when to stop. on gah | non-suicide |
What was the rioters least favorite hockey team? The Ottawa Senators | non-suicide |
Is anyone else tired of living, but afraid to die?I don't want to be here anymore. I wish I never existed, was never born, or could just somehow become dead without having to experience dying. I'm terrified of the act of death but I just can't keep living. Mostly I'm afraid if I try, I won't succeed and I'll be stuck living with the consequences of an attempt. I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate my fear. I wish I didn't exist. There is literally not a single point to why I should still be alive. Every. Fucking. Day. Is. Misery. I am truly worthless. To everyone. I'm a waste of space and life. I mean nothing to anyone. And I don't know how to even keep trying. | suicide |
MY SURGERY WAS SUCCESSFUL!!!!!! Hey again, its me and I had my surgery earlier this day and its just a surprising how much I thought it would suck. I mean it did but maybe five hours later, my life kinda returned to normal. After two hours I could talk again and after three I could eat. Still no crunchy foods but soft things like soup. And if for what ever reason you remember me, my sister didnt end up coming to the appointment and I didnt say any weird shit under the anesthesia!!!! In fact I think I regained control after like minutes of waking!!!!! | non-suicide |
more more advice from a boy, about boys if you drop us down a well, we will drown. unless its empty, in which case we will fall to our death. no wells, please. | non-suicide |
A positive-ish postI dont talk much, its probably for the better, but something Ive learned from my bouts with melancholy is that social media amplifies everything. (Yes, reddit included) Before I deleted my Instagram a few weeks ago, I wanted to see if I could prove this. That day I was looking for sad stuff, so I looked up cutting, as I read through posts my already low emotions began to drop deeper, the gut-wrenching feeling of wanting everything to just go away grew from a pebble to a stone. I felt miserable since the things they posted made me feel pitiful and hopeless, as if the world is a shitty place and everyone is worse off than you. Knowing that there is nothing you can do only tears you apart more. Then. I logged off and deleted my account. Since then I havent gotten a lot better but I havent gotten worse. The constant resistance from getting up every day has decreased, the waking up to read about people with more sadness than I am in, is gone. Feels selfish right? Thinking only about yourself? Yet, its far from it. Focus on you. Focus on getting better. Whether its just getting the motivation to get up in the morning. Whether its getting on the internet to apply for that job at the hardware store down the street. Whether its putting that $ in the bank instead of buying packs of cigarettes. Focus. Focus. Focus. (What my teachers back in high school used to say before they realized I have ADHD) Cant focus on you? Focus on something else. (More specifically, helping something/someone else) Make an appointment with Red Cross to donate blood, walk over to the library and ask them what books theyd recommend to learn something new... python coding is in demand. Maybe walk a few miles to the park, and sit on a bench, youd be surprised the amount of dogs you get to pet. Melancholy doesnt go away someone who says cheer up, youll be fine has no idea what theyre talking about. But I can say this, try some things and you may reach a time where melancholy is no longer riding shotgun telling you how to live your life. | suicide |
I'm not strong enough to carry on anymoreI've been here before. Being totally broken by a relationship, but this time it's different. It was my fault. I needed some time to think about if I was ready to just back in to a relationship and took days to think. During that time the girl got into another relationship. She was seeing somebody else but kissed me before I told her I needed some time. Then she never told me she was in a relationship and let me believe I was taking her out on a date over the weekend. It was only after I had kissed her that she told me she had a boyfriend. Despite that we went out for dinner and she held my hand and cuddled into my arm, crying a lot because she wants to be with me but she says 'she can't'. I took her home and she begged me to stay the night, to which I responded that it wouldn't be right. She told me 'we don't have to do anything, we can just cuddle', which to me implied she wanted more to happen. I wanted more to happen too but I left because I knew it would've hurt more if we slept together and she still couldn't be with me. I've waited months through lockdown and covid restrictions for her. I went on one date with another girl but couldn't stop thinking about this first girl and so I told her my mistake. I'm honestly done at this point. This will be my third and final suicide attempt. I'm making sure I won't survive this time. I've given myself until Friday to get my stuff into order before I drift away into the long sleep. | suicide |
I'm just about ready to goI'm not good enough to anybody in this world. I've come to realize that now. Ill most likely be alone forever and thats my worst fear. Being alone. So why spend the rest of my life being alone and miserable. | suicide |
Worried about my friendHey guys, My friend has had a history of depression. I know this because I know he was seeing a psychiatrist at some point, and maybe still is. Anyway, in the last months or so his life got a lot worse. He got kicked out of college because he wasn't getting good enough grades. I just found out today that he now has a brain tumor. I'm worried that he could hurt himself, is there anything I should do? | suicide |
I have an important announcement to make: Birds aren't government drones. We're absolutely innocent, and we're definitely not spying on citizens who violate code . We're just minding our own business, and our shit isn't laced with cyanide to collect subjects for project p. We're birds, not drones. | non-suicide |
So if I, a yo, find a yo attractive, does that make me a pedo? Asking for a friend, obviously | non-suicide |
I hate my dad and I am changing my surname when I turn For almost years, I have been verbally abused by my dad. It's a consistent string of mean things thrown at me for just existing in our house. Tells me if I was better I'd have more friends, I don't result to anything, that I don't have a future and it makes me loathe him. My mom has been trying to help but it never works. He continues to do this, and I get nervous around him because of his outbursts. One time he threatened to hit me. Scared out of my year old mind. I am now , a month away from . Just a few days ago, I said I didn't want to go run at a track club and instead go to the gym because I figured I'd like to work on more cross fit. There were insults and yelling, and then my sister told me he said he'd kill me, and he came into the basement and as I tried to go upstairs he grabbed me and wouldn't let me go. I told him to stop, he didn't, and I slipped out. I grabbed my charger and my phone and I sprinted into the garage, got my shoes and ran away full speed. I went to my friend's house shaking and we walked around until in the morning, throwing rocks and sitting at the back of the school yard. That night, as we were going back to sleep at his house, I decided I was going to change my last name. I hate that I have to have the same surname. When I get older, people will call me exactly what they called him. I hate him with a burning passion. I've decided that I'm going to change my last name to Kujo when I hit , and legally I won't need an adult. I'm disassociating with him. I just can't anymore. | non-suicide |
Fun fact: # A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale. | non-suicide |
I want another shot...I want another shot at my hanging attempt. I want another shot at my overdose attempt. I want another shot at my jumping attempt. I want another shot. I just want to try again. Do it right this time. I'm a fuck up and can't seem to do anything right, all I'm asking for is another chance. Another try. Do it right. So tonight I'm going to try again. Get right back up on that horse. Gotta find a good tree or a good spot inside to hang from. Got the note all ready to go. I just want another shot. | suicide |
Feet pics is the epitome of Pornography. | non-suicide |
Why be a cum slut when you can be a hug slut! Go around and pay people for hugs and affection. Its proven love and affection is much healthier than sex! Instead of having daddys juice on your face and in your mouth for only a few minutes of pleasure you can get hugs and affection which will last a life time. And you cant get pregnant so theres no downsides to this. Save your virginity and become a hug slut today! Dont fucking judge me this was a random thing that came to my head a second ago | non-suicide |
Any ideas of what i could D model? I'm not that bad at modeling and i need some ideas | non-suicide |
I just found a scammer so me and my friend decided to have a little fun... here is the post | non-suicide |
and the exit strategyI wrote a rather lengthy post here about being raped and molested and unwanted by friends and family. Can someone just help me come to terms with the infinite nothingness? My life is completly over anyway. Exit bag is en route courtesy of Amazon of all things. | suicide |
i wonder if we ever think about each other at the same time it seems like youre always on my mind. i wonder if its the same for you? or if im only an afterthought | non-suicide |
friends? maybe? yes? pls? okay about me : dm me here or discord or snapchat or kik or Instagram or ur mom | non-suicide |
What to do with my suicide notesRecently I wrote a suicide note to two people who mean the world to me. Thankfully they never received them as at the last moment I opted out (of suicide) and went to the ER and was admitted to the hospital. However I still have those two notes and don't know what I should do with them. Part of me wants to ask these two people to join me as I burn them (unopened), then another part of me says to just throw them away in silence and not say anything more, and part of me wants to keep them as a reminder that I am stronger than the pain. If you've ever been in this situation I would like to know what you did with your notes that were never delivered. | suicide |
Isnt suicide considered self defense because youre killing the person whos trying to kill you?I dont understand why suicide is such a bad thing... I mean I do, but at this point it seems like my only option. Ive been off my medication since the summer and I just cant do this shit anymore. Lmao. Being on medication took the edge off and made it a bit more bearable, but also being on medication made me think I was delusional. It creates a false reality that makes you think youre getting better when in reality youre still the same fucked up person. Maybe I need to be on meds. I agree. But at this point Im relishing in these suicidal thoughts. It gives me hope that one day Ill actually end my life | suicide |
There just isn't anywhere left to runThe few positives are so crowded out by the obsessions, the trauma is now such a huge part of my life and my brain that it's taken control. I've tried therapists and moving to new countries etc. but nothing helps, because I'm simply not likeable or valuable or good at anything. I am simply not a person who can function normally, but I'm so close that I constantly fail at everything I aspire to, I can fake it up until I just start to feel secure, then I fuck everything up. I have driven away all my close friends with my mental illness and just being sort of crap, I still have some who don't know me well, but that's the worst part; the more people get to know me the more they realize what I truly am, and they need to get away for the sake of themselves. But I want so much to be good at something, to be normal, to be liked and loved for who I really am. I just don't think it's possible to break out of this prison I've built around myself when I'm not good enough to really function anyway. | suicide |
Fuck life. All I feel like is a big pile of wrong things. I want to not exist. I want to die. I should die.Ive been struggling with my gender identity for so long, and then my mental health is shit. I dont care. Maybe Ill just kill myself. But then I dont want to die because Im actually afraid of death. Idk. Dont wanna be trans, dont wanna be cis- I feel like a fake fuck. Doesnt help that theres stereotypes about trans people. Dont like this. I wish I never existed. I wish I could just stay a woman, or be born a man. I hate this. I hate this so much. Kill me please. I want this to be over. I dont want to be anything. Im a fake piece of shit. | suicide |
I feel like i am a "glitch"The title says it all. I felt like i'm a little glitch that needs to be fixed since the day i started to school. My family, friends and every human being is just too strange for me. I couldn't think like them no matter how much i tried. I can't care about money, i can't care about my future. I can't understand "their struggle". Why they are trying to buy a Mercedes, why they are trying to be rich? Why no one gives a shit about how beautiful moon is? They dont care about music or books or nature, but if you get likes on a social platform every one of them go CRAZY. No matter how old are they. From to , they all got their accounts and smartphones. Always busy with posting about "how happy they are". Whenever i feel down and alone, i got in to this subreddit. Always writing something but never posting it. Writing thoughts is one of the best methods, it helps a lot. I just want to say thanks guys. Every one of you is a savior in my eyes. I hope one day we, glitches, will be free all of this thoughts. | suicide |
I won't do itI wish I could. I'll cut, and drink a bottle of Nyquil, but in the back of my mind I know it's not enough. I don't think I'll ever be able to get to that time I did die. And it's comforting in a way. I'll pseudo die, blood, nyquil, whatever else I can get my hands on. But I won't hurt my mom, who'd be the one to find me. I want to stop hurting so much. Don't bother talking to me tonight. I needed to get that out in a place I Won't be ridiculed. thank you all for what you do | suicide |
I just feel stuck.. nothing is waitingThe girl I love left and got out of my life, my friends are distant and we don't talk much anymore, I met a friend online and we talked for a few months but she's starting to leave me too. Am I seriously that unloved and useless everyone leaves? Maybe I should just end it.. I've been feeling like shit for almost months now and I don't see an end beside the ultimate one.. I don't know what to do anymore. | suicide |
Some idiot in my school tested positive for the virus and now I have to stay home Some idiot in my school tested positive for the virus and now I have to stay home and do online work and guess what?! We are in the hardest class in the hardest chapter for homework. Our unit test was tomorrow for this chapter and now I am officially fucked for days | non-suicide |
Im nothing.A short ugly virgin loser with social anxiety and zero talents. No one gives a fuck about me or my problems. I just dont matter. I have no use to anyone or anything. I can die and the world will just keep on moving like I was never even there in the first place. Ill never be successful. Ill never be popular. Ill never experience love. I am and always will be nothing. | suicide |
I am I piece of shit and I dont deserve to be hereWrote on r/anxiety earlier and felt not listened. Felt judged and like Im being "cruel" maybe I am. Maybe Im a piece of shit and I should kill myself. No one needs me here anyway. That paired with the constant vertigo I had for the last weeks making me almost unable to do anything and no one finding what I have. Im gonna die anyway so why not now. It'll all be over and everyone will finally feel relived | suicide |
College Essays... I don't wanna remind my fellow teens of this when they're probably going on reddit to escape reality, but if you could offer some advice on how to write a kickass essay, I'm all ears! Thanks guys < | non-suicide |
Anyone else vibin to Bach and Perlmans Concerto for violins in D Minor? If not thats cool | non-suicide |
Gentle reminder for you all Today is international men's day | non-suicide |
Pretty much everyone dislikes me now.Basically my own family except my dad hates me. My own friends hate me. Bullied, Tormented, left. I've had everything done to me and I feel as if I've experienced it all. Literally what hope do I have? There's nothing for me IRL and no one for me irl. I don't see a reason to keep trying anything what hope exists? | suicide |
Who wants to join a discord chat? Just pm me and Ill send you a link :) | non-suicide |
Im killing myself tonightI just got caught for self harm and my parents were not happy. My father turned it on himself and said I am making him a failure of a father. I have real friends who are seperating themselves from me. I try to be outgoing but I just end up being weird. Same thing with dating. The girls either straight up reject (no problem with that btw) or ghost me. The only things I enjoy are anime, videogames, and animals but thats only on a good day. My religious leaders are pushing college or a mission but i dont have an interest in either. Plus nobody I know actually understands depression they think you can will youreslf out of it. I good throat slit should be enough to end my misery. Thanks for the fun times reddit. | suicide |
I can't imagine ever being happyand that's why I'd rather die. For me to even have a chance at living a decent, normal life there's so much shit I'd have to work through first. The amount of things that are out of my control in my life is crushing, honestly. Social anxiety, depression, stuff that I can't really help but experience and I don't know how to even begin working through it. The issues themselves make it hard to work through. And there's more. Things I'd rather not talk about here. So I'd rather just give up. If there were an easy solution to all of this, I'd use it. Only because I see no other way. I would love to progress through and get better, but I don't see that happening any time soon. The situation I'm in is just too fucked for me to come back from. I'll never get better. I wish I could. | suicide |
do y'all think your social media usage has increased since the COVID- pandemic began? i'm curious to hear your opinions/perspectives. i'm writing a research paper and i need like more responses for my survey at least!! it's about social media consumption in the context of the pandemic and it should take like mins at the most! the link is a bit. ly / surveyReagan if you type that in google without the spaces. | non-suicide |
Met an old crush of mine that i still have feelings for and now im sad It all happened a few days ago when i was waiting for the subway and when i wanted to step in a girl began talking to me asking if its me i begin to recognise her and realize that she was a girl from my middle school that i had feelings for but was too big of a coward to confess to her. She was really intelligent pretty and stuff but mostly intelligent and that made her special. We sat down and talked about how your lifes are going on how school is going and all that it didnt last very long because i had to get out a few subway stations later. I immediatly felt sad when i went out because she probably knew that i liked her and that we didnt adress this or anything like that i miss her seeing her go gave me a feeling of lonelyness | non-suicide |
I dont see myself living past ive never pictured a future. whenever i try and figure out a my future, i just catch myself staring into nothingness. theres absolutely nothing. i dont have a future. im going to kill myself before . im trying to get help, it isnt working. i need something to scare me into living. I DO want a future. but i just hate my life so goddamn much. i have a deep hatred of my existence. | suicide |