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2,413 | How to Arrange Three Pictures on a Wall | 1. Choosing Pictures to Group Together
1-1. Choose a common element for the three pictures to share.
The pictures that you are arranging should have similar tones, patterns, or contexts, but don’t necessarily have to match exactly. Black and white photographs, deep blue tones, or floral patterns would all make great themed groupings.
Pictures that don’t share anything in common can look mismatched and misplaced.
1-2. Split one image across three canvases to make the most of your favourite picture.
This could be a favorite family photo or an artwork print. Head to your local photo printing or department store, and get your favorite image split into three equally sized canvases. Space your paintings on average between one and a half to three and a half inches apart.
This can work just as well for photographs in frames.
Beach scenes and landscapes work especially well split across three canvases.
1-3. Choose pieces with the same dimensions to create a sense of balance.
These can be canvases of the same size, or frames of the same dimensions. Pieces that are the same size have a balanced and calm look.
Try using frames that are identical in both size and appearance for an even greater sense of balance and homogeneity.
1-4. Pick a large, medium, and small picture to make a creative grouping.
When you have selected a group of pictures that share a common element, pick three of different sizes for one arrangement on the wall. This creates an interesting small gallery on your own wall.
A grouping of three different sizes will create interest and energy.
2. Hanging Pictures in Horizontal or Vertical Groupings
2-1. Trace each picture onto craft paper and cut it out.
Place each picture face down onto craft paper, pencil around the frame, and then cut out each shape. You will end up with one piece of paper per picture, which you can use to create the arrangement on the wall easily before hanging up the actual pictures.
Write on each piece of paper the picture that it represents (e.g. “family photo”, or “zebra print”) if they are all similar sizes.
Use masking tape to stick the pieces of paper to the wall while you are trying different arrangements.
2-2. Create a horizontal grouping for a versatile look.
Horizontal groupings work best for pictures of equal size. Arrange the three pictures horizontally side by side, either on their own or above a piece of furniture such as a couch.
Make sure that the space between each picture is even for a horizontal grouping. Around 5 in (12.7 cm) is a good place to start, and you can adjust the spacing according to what you prefer.
2-3. Form a vertical grouping for a narrow space.
Make sure that all of the pictures are of the same size, and arrange them in a vertical line with equal spacing between each. Vertical groupings look good on a tall, narrow wall, or in between windows.
A spacing of 8 in (20.3 cm) between each frame works well.
This arrangement will help the ceiling to look higher than it actually is, making your space look larger and more open.
2-4. Hang your favourite picture in the center.
The piece that is in the center of a horizontal or vertical grouping will be noticed first. It will also receive the most attention.
The center picture could be either you favorite or the most bold piece.
3. Forming a Creative Grouping
3-1. Choose a creative grouping for a compact and creative look.
Arrange the three pictures close together in a triangle formation, with two on the left side and one of the right side in the center. A creative grouping is ideal for pictures that aren’t the same size too.
For a creative grouping, 2 in (5 cm) works well between each picture.
3-2. Place the largest picture in the bottom left of a creative grouping.
If the pictures aren't the same size, the largest piece should be in the bottom left of the space. The middle sized picture needs to be in the top right, and then the smallest picture in the bottom right.
This will create a sideways triangle appearance, with the largest picture representing the base, and the other two pictures representing the point.
3-3. Place the middle of the creative grouping approximately 57 in (145 cm) high.
If the creative grouping isn't above a fireplace or tall furniture, then this is the best height above the ground to work with. This is the height that many galleries hang their work at, because it’s the average height of the human eye, and the pictures look the best this way.
3-4. Hang square frames diagonally along a staircase.
Hang the first picture in the center of the staircase, two thirds up from the stair. Measure an equal distance of one hand width apart, and place another image on either side of the center picture, again two thirds up from the stair.
Two thirds up from the stair base will ensure that the picture is at the correct angle with the staircase.
Staircase arrangements work best for equally sized, square pictures.
Warnings
Make sure that you hang the pictures straight.
Use the right nails and hooks for each frame and canvas. The instructions will specify what works best for that individual piece.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing Pictures to Group Together\\n1-1. Choose a common element for the three pictures to share.\\nThe pictures that you are arranging should have similar tones, patterns, or contexts, but don’t necessarily have to match exactly. Black and white photographs, deep blue tones, or floral patterns would all make great themed groupings.\\nPictures that don’t share anything in common can look mismatched and misplaced.\\n1-2. Split one image across three canvases to make the most of your favourite picture.\\nThis could be a favorite family photo or an artwork print. Head to your local photo printing or department store, and get your favorite image split into three equally sized canvases. Space your paintings on average between one and a half to three and a half inches apart.\\nThis can work just as well for photographs in frames.\\nBeach scenes and landscapes work especially well split across three canvases.\\n1-3. Choose pieces with the same dimensions to create a sense of balance.\\nThese can be canvases of the same size, or frames of the same dimensions. Pieces that are the same size have a balanced and calm look.\\nTry using frames that are identical in both size and appearance for an even greater sense of balance and homogeneity.\\n1-4. Pick a large, medium, and small picture to make a creative grouping.\\nWhen you have selected a group of pictures that share a common element, pick three of different sizes for one arrangement on the wall. This creates an interesting small gallery on your own wall.\\nA grouping of three different sizes will create interest and energy.\\n2. Hanging Pictures in Horizontal or Vertical Groupings\\n2-1. Trace each picture onto craft paper and cut it out.\\nPlace each picture face down onto craft paper, pencil around the frame, and then cut out each shape. You will end up with one piece of paper per picture, which you can use to create the arrangement on the wall easily before hanging up the actual pictures.\\nWrite on each piece of paper the picture that it represents (e.g. “family photo”, or “zebra print”) if they are all similar sizes.\\nUse masking tape to stick the pieces of paper to the wall while you are trying different arrangements.\\n2-2. Create a horizontal grouping for a versatile look.\\nHorizontal groupings work best for pictures of equal size. Arrange the three pictures horizontally side by side, either on their own or above a piece of furniture such as a couch.\\nMake sure that the space between each picture is even for a horizontal grouping. Around 5 in (12.7 cm) is a good place to start, and you can adjust the spacing according to what you prefer.\\n2-3. Form a vertical grouping for a narrow space.\\nMake sure that all of the pictures are of the same size, and arrange them in a vertical line with equal spacing between each. Vertical groupings look good on a tall, narrow wall, or in between windows.\\nA spacing of 8 in (20.3 cm) between each frame works well.\\nThis arrangement will help the ceiling to look higher than it actually is, making your space look larger and more open.\\n2-4. Hang your favourite picture in the center.\\nThe piece that is in the center of a horizontal or vertical grouping will be noticed first. It will also receive the most attention.\\nThe center picture could be either you favorite or the most bold piece.\\n3. Forming a Creative Grouping\\n3-1. Choose a creative grouping for a compact and creative look.\\nArrange the three pictures close together in a triangle formation, with two on the left side and one of the right side in the center. A creative grouping is ideal for pictures that aren’t the same size too.\\nFor a creative grouping, 2 in (5 cm) works well between each picture.\\n3-2. Place the largest picture in the bottom left of a creative grouping.\\nIf the pictures aren't the same size, the largest piece should be in the bottom left of the space. The middle sized picture needs to be in the top right, and then the smallest picture in the bottom right.\\nThis will create a sideways triangle appearance, with the largest picture representing the base, and the other two pictures representing the point.\\n3-3. Place the middle of the creative grouping approximately 57 in (145 cm) high.\\nIf the creative grouping isn't above a fireplace or tall furniture, then this is the best height above the ground to work with. This is the height that many galleries hang their work at, because it’s the average height of the human eye, and the pictures look the best this way.\\n3-4. Hang square frames diagonally along a staircase.\\nHang the first picture in the center of the staircase, two thirds up from the stair. Measure an equal distance of one hand width apart, and place another image on either side of the center picture, again two thirds up from the stair.\\nTwo thirds up from the stair base will ensure that the picture is at the correct angle with the staircase.\\nStaircase arrangements work best for equally sized, square pictures.\\nWarnings\\nMake sure that you hang the pictures straight.\\nUse the right nails and hooks for each frame and canvas. The instructions will specify what works best for that individual piece.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Arranging three pictures on a wall can sound like a simple task, but there are ways to transform your arrangement from average to great. Start with choosing a common element for your picture grouping and picking the right sizes. Next move onto deciding what arrangement will work best for your space and pictures, and then the pictures will be on the wall looking great, and giving a new life to your space!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing Pictures to Group Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a common element for the three pictures to share.\", \"描述\": \"The pictures that you are arranging should have similar tones, patterns, or contexts, but don’t necessarily have to match exactly. Black and white photographs, deep blue tones, or floral patterns would all make great themed groupings.\\nPictures that don’t share anything in common can look mismatched and misplaced.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Split one image across three canvases to make the most of your favourite picture.\", \"描述\": \"This could be a favorite family photo or an artwork print. Head to your local photo printing or department store, and get your favorite image split into three equally sized canvases. Space your paintings on average between one and a half to three and a half inches apart.\\nThis can work just as well for photographs in frames.\\nBeach scenes and landscapes work especially well split across three canvases.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose pieces with the same dimensions to create a sense of balance.\", \"描述\": \"These can be canvases of the same size, or frames of the same dimensions. Pieces that are the same size have a balanced and calm look.\\nTry using frames that are identical in both size and appearance for an even greater sense of balance and homogeneity.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pick a large, medium, and small picture to make a creative grouping.\", \"描述\": \"When you have selected a group of pictures that share a common element, pick three of different sizes for one arrangement on the wall. This creates an interesting small gallery on your own wall.\\nA grouping of three different sizes will create interest and energy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hanging Pictures in Horizontal or Vertical Groupings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Trace each picture onto craft paper and cut it out.\", \"描述\": \"Place each picture face down onto craft paper, pencil around the frame, and then cut out each shape. You will end up with one piece of paper per picture, which you can use to create the arrangement on the wall easily before hanging up the actual pictures.\\nWrite on each piece of paper the picture that it represents (e.g. “family photo”, or “zebra print”) if they are all similar sizes.\\nUse masking tape to stick the pieces of paper to the wall while you are trying different arrangements.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a horizontal grouping for a versatile look.\", \"描述\": \"Horizontal groupings work best for pictures of equal size. Arrange the three pictures horizontally side by side, either on their own or above a piece of furniture such as a couch.\\nMake sure that the space between each picture is even for a horizontal grouping. Around 5 in (12.7 cm) is a good place to start, and you can adjust the spacing according to what you prefer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Form a vertical grouping for a narrow space.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that all of the pictures are of the same size, and arrange them in a vertical line with equal spacing between each. Vertical groupings look good on a tall, narrow wall, or in between windows.\\nA spacing of 8 in (20.3 cm) between each frame works well.\\nThis arrangement will help the ceiling to look higher than it actually is, making your space look larger and more open.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hang your favourite picture in the center.\", \"描述\": \"The piece that is in the center of a horizontal or vertical grouping will be noticed first. It will also receive the most attention.\\nThe center picture could be either you favorite or the most bold piece.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forming a Creative Grouping\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a creative grouping for a compact and creative look.\", \"描述\": \"Arrange the three pictures close together in a triangle formation, with two on the left side and one of the right side in the center. A creative grouping is ideal for pictures that aren’t the same size too.\\nFor a creative grouping, 2 in (5 cm) works well between each picture.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Place the largest picture in the bottom left of a creative grouping.\", \"描述\": \"If the pictures aren't the same size, the largest piece should be in the bottom left of the space. The middle sized picture needs to be in the top right, and then the smallest picture in the bottom right.\\nThis will create a sideways triangle appearance, with the largest picture representing the base, and the other two pictures representing the point.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Place the middle of the creative grouping approximately 57 in (145 cm) high.\", \"描述\": \"If the creative grouping isn't above a fireplace or tall furniture, then this is the best height above the ground to work with. This is the height that many galleries hang their work at, because it’s the average height of the human eye, and the pictures look the best this way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hang square frames diagonally along a staircase.\", \"描述\": \"Hang the first picture in the center of the staircase, two thirds up from the stair. Measure an equal distance of one hand width apart, and place another image on either side of the center picture, again two thirds up from the stair.\\nTwo thirds up from the stair base will ensure that the picture is at the correct angle with the staircase.\\nStaircase arrangements work best for equally sized, square pictures.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Make sure that you hang the pictures straight.\\n\", \"Use the right nails and hooks for each frame and canvas. The instructions will specify what works best for that individual piece.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,414 | How to Arrange Towels on a Towel Bar | 1. Simple Fold
1-1. Spread the towel out over any flat surface.
You can use a table, the bed, a counter, or whatever is convenient. Fluff the towel out and smooth it down by hand. Turn the towel so the shorter side is closest to you.
1-2. Fold the towel into thirds, vertically.
Fold the long left edge of the towel into the middle of the towel. Then, fold the opposite third of the towel over the first third. Keep the tag tucked inside if you have guests coming over!
1-3. Fold the towel in half and hang it over the bar.
Fold the two sides with the exposed seams on the back of the towel on top of one another. Then, set the towel over the towel bar. Adjust the hanging ends so they’re both even.
If you’re hanging more than one decorative towel over the same bar, you can space them out a bit for a more practical setup, or line the towels up to touch for a fancier feeling.
1-4. Place a hand towel on top of the bath towel for an added touch.
To hang the hand towel, lay it on a flat surface and fold it into thirds vertically. Once it’s folded, drape it over the large towel on the rack. Choose towels that are color-coordinated if possible!
2. Pocket Fold
2-1. Spread out your towel on a flat surface.
Turn it so that the long side of the towel is facing you.
The pocket fold is popular in hotels and luxury spas. The neat thing with the pocket fold is that you can put flowers, ribbons, or a small washcloth inside of the little pocket you create.
2-2. Fold in the short left edge of the towel.
Bring the short left edge 1/4 of the way in toward the middle.
2-3. Flip the towel over.
Grab the entire towel and flip it upside down without ruining the fold you've made.
2-4. Fold the towel into thirds lengthwise.
Fold the bottom long edge of the towel up to the middle. Then, fold the top long edge the same way so that the two layers overlap on top of one another.
2-5. Fold the two flaps together loosely to secure the pocket and hang it up.
See the ¼ fold of fabric from the first step? Grab the loose corner. Then, reach underneath the top layer of the towel and grab the other loose corner. Fold the two pieces together to secure the backside of the towel. Place the towel over the towel bar.
This will keep your pocket from coming loose when it’s hanging up on the bar.
2-6. Fold a washcloth with an accordion pleat and put it in the pocket (optional).
Lay the washcloth flat on a table and fold the sides lengthwise repeatedly to create pleats that overlap one another. Hold the washcloth tight in the center so it doesn’t come undone. Slide the small washcloth inside of the pocket you created on the hand towel. Fan out the washcloth to make it look like a ruffle in the pocket.
Instead of placing a washcloth inside of the pocket, you could alternatively add some fake flowers, a ribbon, or a normally-folded washcloth.
3. Bandana Tie
3-1. Place the towel on a flat surface.
Smooth out the towel so it's wrinkle-free.
3-2. Fold the towel into thirds and then place it over the bar.
Fold in the two longer edges so they touch in the middle. Then fold the towel in half and drape it over a towel bar. Straighten out the corners so the opposite sides are touching.
This is a super unique look that’s going to impress guests when they see your towels.
3-3. Fold a small washcloth into a triangle.
You can use a washcloth that’s the same color as the towel for a more uniform look or mix it up for something different. Spread the washcloth flat and then fold it into a triangle by overlapping two opposite-side corners.
For a more modern vibe, you can wrap the washcloth around both layers of the towel.
3-4. Tie the bandana around the towel.
Carefully tie the corners of the washcloth around the front-facing flap of the bath towel. If the washcloth is very thick, use a large safety pin or clothes pin to hold it in place.
Get creative and add some silk flowers or other crafty items you might have around to the pocket created by the bandana tie.
4. Wear-Reducing Fold
4-1. Start with the towel on a flat surface.
Spread the towel out flat with your hand with the longest side facing you.
4-2. Fold the towel in half lengthwise.
Grab the bottom corners and fold them up to the top corners. Do not press down on the seam you’ve just folded.
The goal of this fold is to keep your towel as fluffy as possible. It’s not quite the best option if you’re looking for a beautiful towel fold for some guests, though.
4-3. Fold the towel in half again, but widthwise.
Fold it in half in the middle. Adjust the corners so that all of them overlap on top of one another. Again, don’t push down on the fold.
4-4. Repeat the widthwise fold and set it over the towel bar.
Fold the corners on top of one another again so that you have a thin, bulky towel with none of the creases pushed down. Slide the towel gently over the towel bar.
The next time you hop out of the shower and grab a towel, it’ll be as fluffy as it would be when it just got out of the dryer!
Tips
You can always fold a towel into a dog, elephant, or [[Fold a Towel Monkey|monkey’’ if you want something super unique and interesting!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Simple Fold\\n1-1. Spread the towel out over any flat surface.\\nYou can use a table, the bed, a counter, or whatever is convenient. Fluff the towel out and smooth it down by hand. Turn the towel so the shorter side is closest to you.\\n1-2. Fold the towel into thirds, vertically.\\nFold the long left edge of the towel into the middle of the towel. Then, fold the opposite third of the towel over the first third. Keep the tag tucked inside if you have guests coming over!\\n1-3. Fold the towel in half and hang it over the bar.\\nFold the two sides with the exposed seams on the back of the towel on top of one another. Then, set the towel over the towel bar. Adjust the hanging ends so they’re both even.\\nIf you’re hanging more than one decorative towel over the same bar, you can space them out a bit for a more practical setup, or line the towels up to touch for a fancier feeling.\\n1-4. Place a hand towel on top of the bath towel for an added touch.\\nTo hang the hand towel, lay it on a flat surface and fold it into thirds vertically. Once it’s folded, drape it over the large towel on the rack. Choose towels that are color-coordinated if possible!\\n2. Pocket Fold\\n2-1. Spread out your towel on a flat surface.\\nTurn it so that the long side of the towel is facing you. \\nThe pocket fold is popular in hotels and luxury spas. The neat thing with the pocket fold is that you can put flowers, ribbons, or a small washcloth inside of the little pocket you create.\\n2-2. Fold in the short left edge of the towel.\\nBring the short left edge 1/4 of the way in toward the middle.\\n2-3. Flip the towel over.\\nGrab the entire towel and flip it upside down without ruining the fold you've made.\\n2-4. Fold the towel into thirds lengthwise.\\nFold the bottom long edge of the towel up to the middle. Then, fold the top long edge the same way so that the two layers overlap on top of one another.\\n2-5. Fold the two flaps together loosely to secure the pocket and hang it up.\\nSee the ¼ fold of fabric from the first step? Grab the loose corner. Then, reach underneath the top layer of the towel and grab the other loose corner. Fold the two pieces together to secure the backside of the towel. Place the towel over the towel bar.\\nThis will keep your pocket from coming loose when it’s hanging up on the bar.\\n2-6. Fold a washcloth with an accordion pleat and put it in the pocket (optional).\\nLay the washcloth flat on a table and fold the sides lengthwise repeatedly to create pleats that overlap one another. Hold the washcloth tight in the center so it doesn’t come undone. Slide the small washcloth inside of the pocket you created on the hand towel. Fan out the washcloth to make it look like a ruffle in the pocket.\\nInstead of placing a washcloth inside of the pocket, you could alternatively add some fake flowers, a ribbon, or a normally-folded washcloth.\\n3. Bandana Tie\\n3-1. Place the towel on a flat surface.\\nSmooth out the towel so it's wrinkle-free.\\n3-2. Fold the towel into thirds and then place it over the bar.\\nFold in the two longer edges so they touch in the middle. Then fold the towel in half and drape it over a towel bar. Straighten out the corners so the opposite sides are touching.\\nThis is a super unique look that’s going to impress guests when they see your towels.\\n3-3. Fold a small washcloth into a triangle.\\nYou can use a washcloth that’s the same color as the towel for a more uniform look or mix it up for something different. Spread the washcloth flat and then fold it into a triangle by overlapping two opposite-side corners.\\nFor a more modern vibe, you can wrap the washcloth around both layers of the towel.\\n3-4. Tie the bandana around the towel.\\nCarefully tie the corners of the washcloth around the front-facing flap of the bath towel. If the washcloth is very thick, use a large safety pin or clothes pin to hold it in place.\\nGet creative and add some silk flowers or other crafty items you might have around to the pocket created by the bandana tie.\\n4. Wear-Reducing Fold\\n4-1. Start with the towel on a flat surface.\\nSpread the towel out flat with your hand with the longest side facing you.\\n4-2. Fold the towel in half lengthwise.\\nGrab the bottom corners and fold them up to the top corners. Do not press down on the seam you’ve just folded.\\nThe goal of this fold is to keep your towel as fluffy as possible. It’s not quite the best option if you’re looking for a beautiful towel fold for some guests, though.\\n4-3. Fold the towel in half again, but widthwise.\\nFold it in half in the middle. Adjust the corners so that all of them overlap on top of one another. Again, don’t push down on the fold.\\n4-4. Repeat the widthwise fold and set it over the towel bar.\\nFold the corners on top of one another again so that you have a thin, bulky towel with none of the creases pushed down. Slide the towel gently over the towel bar.\\nThe next time you hop out of the shower and grab a towel, it’ll be as fluffy as it would be when it just got out of the dryer!\\nTips\\nYou can always fold a towel into a dog, elephant, or [[Fold a Towel Monkey|monkey’’ if you want something super unique and interesting!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Got some guests coming over for a fancy dinner party? Looking for a fresh and interesting way to hang your bath and wash towels? If so, we’ve got you covered! There are plenty of unique ways to hang towels on a towel bar and we’re here to walk you through the most popular options out there. From simple folds you’d find in a hotel room to fancy pocket-style folds that can hold decorative washcloths, read on to learn the best ways to arrange towels on a towel bar!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Simple Fold\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spread the towel out over any flat surface.\", \"描述\": \"You can use a table, the bed, a counter, or whatever is convenient. Fluff the towel out and smooth it down by hand. Turn the towel so the shorter side is closest to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fold the towel into thirds, vertically.\", \"描述\": \"Fold the long left edge of the towel into the middle of the towel. Then, fold the opposite third of the towel over the first third. Keep the tag tucked inside if you have guests coming over!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fold the towel in half and hang it over the bar.\", \"描述\": \"Fold the two sides with the exposed seams on the back of the towel on top of one another. Then, set the towel over the towel bar. Adjust the hanging ends so they’re both even.\\nIf you’re hanging more than one decorative towel over the same bar, you can space them out a bit for a more practical setup, or line the towels up to touch for a fancier feeling.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Place a hand towel on top of the bath towel for an added touch.\", \"描述\": \"To hang the hand towel, lay it on a flat surface and fold it into thirds vertically. Once it’s folded, drape it over the large towel on the rack. Choose towels that are color-coordinated if possible!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pocket Fold\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spread out your towel on a flat surface.\", \"描述\": \"Turn it so that the long side of the towel is facing you. \\nThe pocket fold is popular in hotels and luxury spas. The neat thing with the pocket fold is that you can put flowers, ribbons, or a small washcloth inside of the little pocket you create.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fold in the short left edge of the towel.\", \"描述\": \"Bring the short left edge 1/4 of the way in toward the middle.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flip the towel over.\", \"描述\": \"Grab the entire towel and flip it upside down without ruining the fold you've made.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fold the towel into thirds lengthwise.\", \"描述\": \"Fold the bottom long edge of the towel up to the middle. Then, fold the top long edge the same way so that the two layers overlap on top of one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Fold the two flaps together loosely to secure the pocket and hang it up.\", \"描述\": \"See the ¼ fold of fabric from the first step? Grab the loose corner. Then, reach underneath the top layer of the towel and grab the other loose corner. Fold the two pieces together to secure the backside of the towel. Place the towel over the towel bar.\\nThis will keep your pocket from coming loose when it’s hanging up on the bar.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Fold a washcloth with an accordion pleat and put it in the pocket (optional).\", \"描述\": \"Lay the washcloth flat on a table and fold the sides lengthwise repeatedly to create pleats that overlap one another. Hold the washcloth tight in the center so it doesn’t come undone. Slide the small washcloth inside of the pocket you created on the hand towel. Fan out the washcloth to make it look like a ruffle in the pocket.\\nInstead of placing a washcloth inside of the pocket, you could alternatively add some fake flowers, a ribbon, or a normally-folded washcloth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bandana Tie\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Place the towel on a flat surface.\", \"描述\": \"Smooth out the towel so it's wrinkle-free.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fold the towel into thirds and then place it over the bar.\", \"描述\": \"Fold in the two longer edges so they touch in the middle. Then fold the towel in half and drape it over a towel bar. Straighten out the corners so the opposite sides are touching.\\nThis is a super unique look that’s going to impress guests when they see your towels.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fold a small washcloth into a triangle.\", \"描述\": \"You can use a washcloth that’s the same color as the towel for a more uniform look or mix it up for something different. Spread the washcloth flat and then fold it into a triangle by overlapping two opposite-side corners.\\nFor a more modern vibe, you can wrap the washcloth around both layers of the towel.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tie the bandana around the towel.\", \"描述\": \"Carefully tie the corners of the washcloth around the front-facing flap of the bath towel. If the washcloth is very thick, use a large safety pin or clothes pin to hold it in place.\\nGet creative and add some silk flowers or other crafty items you might have around to the pocket created by the bandana tie.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear-Reducing Fold\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with the towel on a flat surface.\", \"描述\": \"Spread the towel out flat with your hand with the longest side facing you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fold the towel in half lengthwise.\", \"描述\": \"Grab the bottom corners and fold them up to the top corners. Do not press down on the seam you’ve just folded.\\nThe goal of this fold is to keep your towel as fluffy as possible. It’s not quite the best option if you’re looking for a beautiful towel fold for some guests, though.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fold the towel in half again, but widthwise.\", \"描述\": \"Fold it in half in the middle. Adjust the corners so that all of them overlap on top of one another. Again, don’t push down on the fold.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Repeat the widthwise fold and set it over the towel bar.\", \"描述\": \"Fold the corners on top of one another again so that you have a thin, bulky towel with none of the creases pushed down. Slide the towel gently over the towel bar.\\nThe next time you hop out of the shower and grab a towel, it’ll be as fluffy as it would be when it just got out of the dryer!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can always fold a towel into a dog, elephant, or [[Fold a Towel Monkey|monkey’’ if you want something super unique and interesting!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,415 | How to Arrange Wheelchair Assistance at the Airport | 1. Preparing Before Your Flight
1-1. Review your airline’s wheelchair guidelines.
Visit your airline’s website and review the “accessibility” section on wheelchairs. Review their policies on flying with a personal wheelchair, stowing a battery-powered chair, or using wheelchair equipment to get on the plane. You can also call your airline's customer service line.
On some flights, you can carry on detachable items, like seat cushions and footrests.
If your wheelchair uses a lithium ion battery, it will be removed, packaged in a protective covering, and stowed in the cabin.
1-2. Check sizing requirements before you fly if you are bringing your own wheelchair.
Ensure your personal wheelchair fits the sizing requirements to bring on the plane. Check on your airline's website or call their customer service line to check the sizing restrictions before you fly.
Every airline varies in their wheelchair size restrictions, though the typical size requirement is about 33 in × 34 in (84 cm × 86 cm) and under.
If your wheelchair is too large to bring on board, you can stow it in the cargo area and use the airport's wheelchair to get around their airport.
You can check a personal wheelchair at the ticket counter or at the gate, free of charge.
1-3. Check if your airlines requests a wheelchair information form.
Not all airlines will request you complete wheelchair information forms, though they can speed up the time it takes to get assistance. Visit the airline's website, go to the "accessibility" section, and look for a form to fill out regarding your wheelchair requests. Some airlines will have you complete the form online, and others will request you print out the form, fill it out, and bring it with you to the airport.
Each airline has a different policy regarding their forms, so check online or call their customer service line. Some airlines may not even ask for a form.
Complete the form if you want to use wheelchair assistance at the airport, need to use equipment to board the plane, or would like to bring your own wheelchair on board.
The form will ask for information like your name, flight number, flight location and destination, departure and return date, and assistance needs.
1-4. Call at least 48 hours before your flight to request wheelchair services.
To arrange wheelchair assistance at the airport, call the airport as early as you can to make your reservation. Inform the Accessibility department of your individual needs, and they will make the arrangements for you.
If you have completed the wheelchair information form, you can mention it when you call. Calling is not a requirement, though it will confirm your wheelchair assistance.
Calling in advance is not a requirement, but it will ensure you will get assistance in a timely manner. It also better prepares the airport's customer service representatives to help you.
You can request a wheelchair if you use one regularly or if you would like assistance with traveling around the airport.
1-5. Call airport security at least 72 hours in advance for security questions.
Your airport's security department can provide assistance with screening policies, procedures, and what to expect.
If you live in the United States, you can call TSA at (855)787-2227. Their hours are weekdays from 8:00 am to 11:00 pm ET and weekends from 9:00 am to 8:00 pm ET.
2. Requesting Assistance at the Airport
2-1. Arrive at the airport at least 2 hours early to request assistance.
As soon as you arrive, find an airport customer service representative and ask about wheelchair accommodations. Every airport has wheelchairs for customer use, though arriving early ensures you can promptly receive your assistance.
Some airports have electric carts for customer use.
If you do not arrive early, you may have to wait a bit for your wheelchair assistance.
If you have already made your reservation in advance, you don't need to arrive as early as you should without confirming your assistance. However, if you are trying to fly with your personal wheelchair, note that there is usually only room for 1 wheelchair and it is assigned on a first-come, first-served basis.
2-2. Request wheelchair assistance at the ticketing counter.
After you go inside the airport, inform the check-in attendants at that you would like wheelchair assistance.They can help you reserve a wheelchair if you stow your personal chair, and they can help arrange boarding assistance, like using ramps or slide boards.
Say something like, “Hello Melissa, I would love to use a wheelchair to get to Gate D." Or, "Hi there, I am flying with my battery-operated wheelchair today. Is there another I can use to get on the plane?”
You can check your wheelchair at the ticket counter if you are traveling with a non-collapsible wheelchair, scooter, or other battery-powered wheelchair.
2-3. Ask airport staff members for assistance with transfers when you arrive.
If you would like wheelchair assistance when exiting the plane and getting to your connection flight, let the airport staff or airline flight attendants know when you get to your first departing airport. They can arrange wheelchair assistance for you, both for your departing and connecting flights.
2-4. Get to your gate at least 1 hour early to request boarding assistance.
Inform the attendants of your particular needs, like requesting an aisle chair or using a ramp to get your wheelchair on the plane. You can use lifts, ramps, aisle chairs, and slide boards to get on the plane.
Show up early to your gate so you can secure your wheelchair assistance. If you are late to board, you may have to rebook your flight.
2-5. Ask a reservation attendant for assistance at your boarding zone.
Once you get through security and arrive at your gate, the reservation attendant will inform you of how they can help, like checking if there is room to stow your personal chair on the plane or transporting your chair to the cargo area. Mention if you would like assistance with things like traveling with a wheelchair or getting onto the plane, and also whether you have any connecting flights.
The flight attendants can also assist you with moving from your wheelchair to your seat, as well as help you get to the bathroom with your wheelchair.
If you are traveling with a personal wheelchair, you can request to bring your folding or collapsible wheelchair on board with you. There is a designated space on the plane for 1 wheelchair, and this is assigned on a first-come, first-served basis.
If your wheelchair is not first or if it does not meet sizing requirements, flight attendants will transport it to the cargo compartment, free of charge.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Before Your Flight\\n1-1. Review your airline’s wheelchair guidelines.\\nVisit your airline’s website and review the “accessibility” section on wheelchairs. Review their policies on flying with a personal wheelchair, stowing a battery-powered chair, or using wheelchair equipment to get on the plane. You can also call your airline's customer service line.\\nOn some flights, you can carry on detachable items, like seat cushions and footrests.\\nIf your wheelchair uses a lithium ion battery, it will be removed, packaged in a protective covering, and stowed in the cabin.\\n1-2. Check sizing requirements before you fly if you are bringing your own wheelchair.\\nEnsure your personal wheelchair fits the sizing requirements to bring on the plane. Check on your airline's website or call their customer service line to check the sizing restrictions before you fly.\\nEvery airline varies in their wheelchair size restrictions, though the typical size requirement is about 33 in × 34 in (84 cm × 86 cm) and under.\\nIf your wheelchair is too large to bring on board, you can stow it in the cargo area and use the airport's wheelchair to get around their airport.\\nYou can check a personal wheelchair at the ticket counter or at the gate, free of charge.\\n1-3. Check if your airlines requests a wheelchair information form.\\nNot all airlines will request you complete wheelchair information forms, though they can speed up the time it takes to get assistance. Visit the airline's website, go to the \\\"accessibility\\\" section, and look for a form to fill out regarding your wheelchair requests. Some airlines will have you complete the form online, and others will request you print out the form, fill it out, and bring it with you to the airport. \\nEach airline has a different policy regarding their forms, so check online or call their customer service line. Some airlines may not even ask for a form.\\nComplete the form if you want to use wheelchair assistance at the airport, need to use equipment to board the plane, or would like to bring your own wheelchair on board.\\nThe form will ask for information like your name, flight number, flight location and destination, departure and return date, and assistance needs.\\n1-4. Call at least 48 hours before your flight to request wheelchair services.\\nTo arrange wheelchair assistance at the airport, call the airport as early as you can to make your reservation. Inform the Accessibility department of your individual needs, and they will make the arrangements for you.\\nIf you have completed the wheelchair information form, you can mention it when you call. Calling is not a requirement, though it will confirm your wheelchair assistance.\\nCalling in advance is not a requirement, but it will ensure you will get assistance in a timely manner. It also better prepares the airport's customer service representatives to help you.\\nYou can request a wheelchair if you use one regularly or if you would like assistance with traveling around the airport.\\n1-5. Call airport security at least 72 hours in advance for security questions.\\nYour airport's security department can provide assistance with screening policies, procedures, and what to expect.\\nIf you live in the United States, you can call TSA at (855)787-2227. Their hours are weekdays from 8:00 am to 11:00 pm ET and weekends from 9:00 am to 8:00 pm ET.\\n2. Requesting Assistance at the Airport\\n2-1. Arrive at the airport at least 2 hours early to request assistance.\\nAs soon as you arrive, find an airport customer service representative and ask about wheelchair accommodations. Every airport has wheelchairs for customer use, though arriving early ensures you can promptly receive your assistance.\\nSome airports have electric carts for customer use.\\nIf you do not arrive early, you may have to wait a bit for your wheelchair assistance.\\nIf you have already made your reservation in advance, you don't need to arrive as early as you should without confirming your assistance. However, if you are trying to fly with your personal wheelchair, note that there is usually only room for 1 wheelchair and it is assigned on a first-come, first-served basis.\\n2-2. Request wheelchair assistance at the ticketing counter.\\nAfter you go inside the airport, inform the check-in attendants at that you would like wheelchair assistance.They can help you reserve a wheelchair if you stow your personal chair, and they can help arrange boarding assistance, like using ramps or slide boards.\\nSay something like, “Hello Melissa, I would love to use a wheelchair to get to Gate D.\\\" Or, \\\"Hi there, I am flying with my battery-operated wheelchair today. Is there another I can use to get on the plane?”\\nYou can check your wheelchair at the ticket counter if you are traveling with a non-collapsible wheelchair, scooter, or other battery-powered wheelchair.\\n2-3. Ask airport staff members for assistance with transfers when you arrive.\\nIf you would like wheelchair assistance when exiting the plane and getting to your connection flight, let the airport staff or airline flight attendants know when you get to your first departing airport. They can arrange wheelchair assistance for you, both for your departing and connecting flights.\\n2-4. Get to your gate at least 1 hour early to request boarding assistance.\\nInform the attendants of your particular needs, like requesting an aisle chair or using a ramp to get your wheelchair on the plane. You can use lifts, ramps, aisle chairs, and slide boards to get on the plane.\\nShow up early to your gate so you can secure your wheelchair assistance. If you are late to board, you may have to rebook your flight.\\n2-5. Ask a reservation attendant for assistance at your boarding zone.\\nOnce you get through security and arrive at your gate, the reservation attendant will inform you of how they can help, like checking if there is room to stow your personal chair on the plane or transporting your chair to the cargo area. Mention if you would like assistance with things like traveling with a wheelchair or getting onto the plane, and also whether you have any connecting flights.\\nThe flight attendants can also assist you with moving from your wheelchair to your seat, as well as help you get to the bathroom with your wheelchair.\\nIf you are traveling with a personal wheelchair, you can request to bring your folding or collapsible wheelchair on board with you. There is a designated space on the plane for 1 wheelchair, and this is assigned on a first-come, first-served basis.\\nIf your wheelchair is not first or if it does not meet sizing requirements, flight attendants will transport it to the cargo compartment, free of charge.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Airlines and airports offer a variety of options for individuals seeking wheelchair assistance. From reservations to boarding equipment, there are resources available for all your wheelchair needs. Notify your airline before you fly and show up a bit early to ensure your reservation. Arranging your wheelchair assistance at the airport will help you fly smoothly and stress-free!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Before Your Flight\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Review your airline’s wheelchair guidelines.\", \"描述\": \"Visit your airline’s website and review the “accessibility” section on wheelchairs. Review their policies on flying with a personal wheelchair, stowing a battery-powered chair, or using wheelchair equipment to get on the plane. You can also call your airline's customer service line.\\nOn some flights, you can carry on detachable items, like seat cushions and footrests.\\nIf your wheelchair uses a lithium ion battery, it will be removed, packaged in a protective covering, and stowed in the cabin.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check sizing requirements before you fly if you are bringing your own wheelchair.\", \"描述\": \"Ensure your personal wheelchair fits the sizing requirements to bring on the plane. Check on your airline's website or call their customer service line to check the sizing restrictions before you fly.\\nEvery airline varies in their wheelchair size restrictions, though the typical size requirement is about 33 in × 34 in (84 cm × 86 cm) and under.\\nIf your wheelchair is too large to bring on board, you can stow it in the cargo area and use the airport's wheelchair to get around their airport.\\nYou can check a personal wheelchair at the ticket counter or at the gate, free of charge.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check if your airlines requests a wheelchair information form.\", \"描述\": \"Not all airlines will request you complete wheelchair information forms, though they can speed up the time it takes to get assistance. Visit the airline's website, go to the \\\"accessibility\\\" section, and look for a form to fill out regarding your wheelchair requests. Some airlines will have you complete the form online, and others will request you print out the form, fill it out, and bring it with you to the airport. \\nEach airline has a different policy regarding their forms, so check online or call their customer service line. Some airlines may not even ask for a form.\\nComplete the form if you want to use wheelchair assistance at the airport, need to use equipment to board the plane, or would like to bring your own wheelchair on board.\\nThe form will ask for information like your name, flight number, flight location and destination, departure and return date, and assistance needs.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Call at least 48 hours before your flight to request wheelchair services.\", \"描述\": \"To arrange wheelchair assistance at the airport, call the airport as early as you can to make your reservation. Inform the Accessibility department of your individual needs, and they will make the arrangements for you.\\nIf you have completed the wheelchair information form, you can mention it when you call. Calling is not a requirement, though it will confirm your wheelchair assistance.\\nCalling in advance is not a requirement, but it will ensure you will get assistance in a timely manner. It also better prepares the airport's customer service representatives to help you.\\nYou can request a wheelchair if you use one regularly or if you would like assistance with traveling around the airport.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Call airport security at least 72 hours in advance for security questions.\", \"描述\": \"Your airport's security department can provide assistance with screening policies, procedures, and what to expect.\\nIf you live in the United States, you can call TSA at (855)787-2227. Their hours are weekdays from 8:00 am to 11:00 pm ET and weekends from 9:00 am to 8:00 pm ET.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Requesting Assistance at the Airport\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arrive at the airport at least 2 hours early to request assistance.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as you arrive, find an airport customer service representative and ask about wheelchair accommodations. Every airport has wheelchairs for customer use, though arriving early ensures you can promptly receive your assistance.\\nSome airports have electric carts for customer use.\\nIf you do not arrive early, you may have to wait a bit for your wheelchair assistance.\\nIf you have already made your reservation in advance, you don't need to arrive as early as you should without confirming your assistance. However, if you are trying to fly with your personal wheelchair, note that there is usually only room for 1 wheelchair and it is assigned on a first-come, first-served basis.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Request wheelchair assistance at the ticketing counter.\", \"描述\": \"After you go inside the airport, inform the check-in attendants at that you would like wheelchair assistance.They can help you reserve a wheelchair if you stow your personal chair, and they can help arrange boarding assistance, like using ramps or slide boards.\\nSay something like, “Hello Melissa, I would love to use a wheelchair to get to Gate D.\\\" Or, \\\"Hi there, I am flying with my battery-operated wheelchair today. Is there another I can use to get on the plane?”\\nYou can check your wheelchair at the ticket counter if you are traveling with a non-collapsible wheelchair, scooter, or other battery-powered wheelchair.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask airport staff members for assistance with transfers when you arrive.\", \"描述\": \"If you would like wheelchair assistance when exiting the plane and getting to your connection flight, let the airport staff or airline flight attendants know when you get to your first departing airport. They can arrange wheelchair assistance for you, both for your departing and connecting flights.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get to your gate at least 1 hour early to request boarding assistance.\", \"描述\": \"Inform the attendants of your particular needs, like requesting an aisle chair or using a ramp to get your wheelchair on the plane. You can use lifts, ramps, aisle chairs, and slide boards to get on the plane.\\nShow up early to your gate so you can secure your wheelchair assistance. If you are late to board, you may have to rebook your flight.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask a reservation attendant for assistance at your boarding zone.\", \"描述\": \"Once you get through security and arrive at your gate, the reservation attendant will inform you of how they can help, like checking if there is room to stow your personal chair on the plane or transporting your chair to the cargo area. Mention if you would like assistance with things like traveling with a wheelchair or getting onto the plane, and also whether you have any connecting flights.\\nThe flight attendants can also assist you with moving from your wheelchair to your seat, as well as help you get to the bathroom with your wheelchair.\\nIf you are traveling with a personal wheelchair, you can request to bring your folding or collapsible wheelchair on board with you. There is a designated space on the plane for 1 wheelchair, and this is assigned on a first-come, first-served basis.\\nIf your wheelchair is not first or if it does not meet sizing requirements, flight attendants will transport it to the cargo compartment, free of charge.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,416 | How to Arrange Your Bedroom Mirrors | 1. Using Mirrors as Decorations
1-1. Place a small mirror on your nightstand or dresser.
This allows you to have close access to a mirror for cosmetic purposes, like doing your makeup, combing your hair, styling your hair, straightening your tie, and putting on jewelry.
1-2. Repurpose an old mirror.
Repainting, staining, or decorating an old mirror can add a fun and personal element to your room. You can decorate the mirror itself with stickers, fabric, or other craft items that inspire you. Recycling old mirrors makes a sustainable and cost-effective decorating choice.
You can also contract a local craftsman to make a unique, beautiful frame from recycled materials.
1-3. Create a focal point with your mirror.
Purchase a stand-alone mirror in an elegant style. Placing it where there is natural light is best, but not necessary. A large, interesting mirror can create a focal point in your bedroom.
1-4. Install multiple mirrors on the same wall.
Experiment with mirrors of different size and shapes. You can install some of them close to each other and some further away. Also try placing the mirrors around other art or pictures in your bedroom. The number of mirrors you hang up is a personal choice, though too many may make your room look cluttered.
Don't be afraid to play around with your mirror locations. Experiment with your space based on what you think looks good.
Reposition your mirror if its reflection isn’t a pleasant view or if the mirror is not reflecting enough natural light.
2. Making a Small Room Appear Larger
2-1. Hang your mirrors on opposing walls.
This increases the appearance of your room's size. by creating the illusion of depth in your room. The larger the mirrors, the more potential for added depth.
2-2. Add a full-length mirror opposite your doorway.
Place your mirror directly across from your doorway. Hanging a larger mirror across from the doorway will reflect the outside hallway, making your room appear longer. Longer mirrors will reflect the most, but a small mirror will also offer more depth.
2-3. Select a focal point and angle your mirror towards it.
This will give the illusion of depth, especially when natural or artificial light is in the picture. Light is bounced around the room to make the room appear larger.
2-4. Put your mirror on a glass tabletop.
Adding a mirror to your tabletop will reflect the light from above, making your space feel larger. You can place a mirror on an existing table or purchase one with a mirror already installed. Use a mirror about the same size as your table and adhere it to your table. You can also have a mirror custom made to fit your table size.
2-5. Place your mirror behind your door.
Putting your mirror here will help you save space without adding extra bulk to your room. The mirror will be neatly tucked away, and you can still easily access it.
2-6. Hang multiple mirrors to experiment with depth.
You can try out any combination of suggestions above to create an open space that is right for you and your space. Placing different sized mirrors in narrow areas can create an open effect by multiple mirrors reflecting multiple angles.
Try to balance having enough mirrors to open up your space and make the room feel bigger without adding so many mirrors that your room looks messy or cluttered.
If your budget and space only calls for one mirror, select the full size mirror so you can view your entire look.
If you only have small mirrors to work with, place them at eye-level or above in a row on your wall, spaced evenly, a few feet apart.
3. Making a Dark Room Look Lighter
3-1. Hang a full-size mirror across the room from your largest window.
Positioning the mirror here will brighten your space by reflecting the natural light that shines in from your window.
Ensure your window is clean to reflect as much light possible.
3-2. Angle mirrors to reflect as much light as possible.
After you hang your first mirror, follow the angles of the mirror and position your next mirror based on how much light is reflected in each. Placing mirrors in locations where you can play with the angles to reflect light helps you harness as much light as possible--both the natural light from the windows and the lighting in your bedroom.
3-3. Place your mirror directly next to a window to reflect the outside.
Putting it here helps reflect the additional sunlight that comes in from the window. Larger mirrors will reflect the most light, though smaller mirrors can still achieve this effect. Depending on your mirror and window size, experiment with leaving a few inches between the window and the wall in order to reflect as much light possible.
If you have another mirror across from your window, try using this step to maximize potential natural light.
3-4. Use mirrored cabinet doors to reflect extra light.
This will not only make your space look larger but also provide more opportunity to reflect both natural and artificial light.
Warnings
Do not install mirrors on the ceiling. Normal mirrors are too heavy for proper installation on the ceiling. This may damage your ceiling, bedroom, and yourself. If you are interested in hanging a mirror on your ceiling, ensure you have lightweight mirrors are designed specifically for ceiling installation.
Do not expose the back of your mirror to direct sunlight or concentrated heat. Exposing the back of your mirror to heat and light may harm the silver backing, and this is important to note when arranging your mirror near natural light. If your mirror is positioned in a spot with much natural light or heat exposure, a heavy curtain can come in handy if your mirror is might assist if across from a window space.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Mirrors as Decorations\\n1-1. Place a small mirror on your nightstand or dresser.\\nThis allows you to have close access to a mirror for cosmetic purposes, like doing your makeup, combing your hair, styling your hair, straightening your tie, and putting on jewelry.\\n1-2. Repurpose an old mirror.\\nRepainting, staining, or decorating an old mirror can add a fun and personal element to your room. You can decorate the mirror itself with stickers, fabric, or other craft items that inspire you. Recycling old mirrors makes a sustainable and cost-effective decorating choice.\\nYou can also contract a local craftsman to make a unique, beautiful frame from recycled materials.\\n1-3. Create a focal point with your mirror.\\nPurchase a stand-alone mirror in an elegant style. Placing it where there is natural light is best, but not necessary. A large, interesting mirror can create a focal point in your bedroom.\\n1-4. Install multiple mirrors on the same wall.\\nExperiment with mirrors of different size and shapes. You can install some of them close to each other and some further away. Also try placing the mirrors around other art or pictures in your bedroom. The number of mirrors you hang up is a personal choice, though too many may make your room look cluttered.\\nDon't be afraid to play around with your mirror locations. Experiment with your space based on what you think looks good.\\nReposition your mirror if its reflection isn’t a pleasant view or if the mirror is not reflecting enough natural light.\\n2. Making a Small Room Appear Larger\\n2-1. Hang your mirrors on opposing walls.\\nThis increases the appearance of your room's size. by creating the illusion of depth in your room. The larger the mirrors, the more potential for added depth.\\n2-2. Add a full-length mirror opposite your doorway.\\nPlace your mirror directly across from your doorway. Hanging a larger mirror across from the doorway will reflect the outside hallway, making your room appear longer. Longer mirrors will reflect the most, but a small mirror will also offer more depth.\\n2-3. Select a focal point and angle your mirror towards it.\\nThis will give the illusion of depth, especially when natural or artificial light is in the picture. Light is bounced around the room to make the room appear larger.\\n2-4. Put your mirror on a glass tabletop.\\nAdding a mirror to your tabletop will reflect the light from above, making your space feel larger. You can place a mirror on an existing table or purchase one with a mirror already installed. Use a mirror about the same size as your table and adhere it to your table. You can also have a mirror custom made to fit your table size.\\n2-5. Place your mirror behind your door.\\nPutting your mirror here will help you save space without adding extra bulk to your room. The mirror will be neatly tucked away, and you can still easily access it.\\n2-6. Hang multiple mirrors to experiment with depth.\\nYou can try out any combination of suggestions above to create an open space that is right for you and your space. Placing different sized mirrors in narrow areas can create an open effect by multiple mirrors reflecting multiple angles.\\nTry to balance having enough mirrors to open up your space and make the room feel bigger without adding so many mirrors that your room looks messy or cluttered.\\nIf your budget and space only calls for one mirror, select the full size mirror so you can view your entire look.\\nIf you only have small mirrors to work with, place them at eye-level or above in a row on your wall, spaced evenly, a few feet apart.\\n3. Making a Dark Room Look Lighter\\n3-1. Hang a full-size mirror across the room from your largest window.\\nPositioning the mirror here will brighten your space by reflecting the natural light that shines in from your window. \\nEnsure your window is clean to reflect as much light possible.\\n3-2. Angle mirrors to reflect as much light as possible.\\nAfter you hang your first mirror, follow the angles of the mirror and position your next mirror based on how much light is reflected in each. Placing mirrors in locations where you can play with the angles to reflect light helps you harness as much light as possible--both the natural light from the windows and the lighting in your bedroom.\\n3-3. Place your mirror directly next to a window to reflect the outside.\\nPutting it here helps reflect the additional sunlight that comes in from the window. Larger mirrors will reflect the most light, though smaller mirrors can still achieve this effect. Depending on your mirror and window size, experiment with leaving a few inches between the window and the wall in order to reflect as much light possible.\\nIf you have another mirror across from your window, try using this step to maximize potential natural light.\\n3-4. Use mirrored cabinet doors to reflect extra light.\\nThis will not only make your space look larger but also provide more opportunity to reflect both natural and artificial light.\\nWarnings\\nDo not install mirrors on the ceiling. Normal mirrors are too heavy for proper installation on the ceiling. This may damage your ceiling, bedroom, and yourself. If you are interested in hanging a mirror on your ceiling, ensure you have lightweight mirrors are designed specifically for ceiling installation.\\nDo not expose the back of your mirror to direct sunlight or concentrated heat. Exposing the back of your mirror to heat and light may harm the silver backing, and this is important to note when arranging your mirror near natural light. If your mirror is positioned in a spot with much natural light or heat exposure, a heavy curtain can come in handy if your mirror is might assist if across from a window space.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"An ideal bedroom will have two mirrors: a full-size, body-length mirror as well as a smaller, cosmetic-style mirror. The full size mirror helps coordinate outfits while the smaller mirror will assist with closer details, like putting on makeup or styling your hair. Depending on placement, mirrors create illusions like making a small room look bigger or a dark room look brighter. Mirrors can also add a fun, unique decorative touch to your bedroom, making your space more personal and effective depending on your style and needs.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Mirrors as Decorations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Place a small mirror on your nightstand or dresser.\", \"描述\": \"This allows you to have close access to a mirror for cosmetic purposes, like doing your makeup, combing your hair, styling your hair, straightening your tie, and putting on jewelry.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Repurpose an old mirror.\", \"描述\": \"Repainting, staining, or decorating an old mirror can add a fun and personal element to your room. You can decorate the mirror itself with stickers, fabric, or other craft items that inspire you. Recycling old mirrors makes a sustainable and cost-effective decorating choice.\\nYou can also contract a local craftsman to make a unique, beautiful frame from recycled materials.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a focal point with your mirror.\", \"描述\": \"Purchase a stand-alone mirror in an elegant style. Placing it where there is natural light is best, but not necessary. A large, interesting mirror can create a focal point in your bedroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Install multiple mirrors on the same wall.\", \"描述\": \"Experiment with mirrors of different size and shapes. You can install some of them close to each other and some further away. Also try placing the mirrors around other art or pictures in your bedroom. The number of mirrors you hang up is a personal choice, though too many may make your room look cluttered.\\nDon't be afraid to play around with your mirror locations. Experiment with your space based on what you think looks good.\\nReposition your mirror if its reflection isn’t a pleasant view or if the mirror is not reflecting enough natural light.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making a Small Room Appear Larger\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hang your mirrors on opposing walls.\", \"描述\": \"This increases the appearance of your room's size. by creating the illusion of depth in your room. The larger the mirrors, the more potential for added depth.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Add a full-length mirror opposite your doorway.\", \"描述\": \"Place your mirror directly across from your doorway. Hanging a larger mirror across from the doorway will reflect the outside hallway, making your room appear longer. Longer mirrors will reflect the most, but a small mirror will also offer more depth.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select a focal point and angle your mirror towards it.\", \"描述\": \"This will give the illusion of depth, especially when natural or artificial light is in the picture. Light is bounced around the room to make the room appear larger.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put your mirror on a glass tabletop.\", \"描述\": \"Adding a mirror to your tabletop will reflect the light from above, making your space feel larger. You can place a mirror on an existing table or purchase one with a mirror already installed. Use a mirror about the same size as your table and adhere it to your table. You can also have a mirror custom made to fit your table size.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Place your mirror behind your door.\", \"描述\": \"Putting your mirror here will help you save space without adding extra bulk to your room. The mirror will be neatly tucked away, and you can still easily access it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Hang multiple mirrors to experiment with depth.\", \"描述\": \"You can try out any combination of suggestions above to create an open space that is right for you and your space. Placing different sized mirrors in narrow areas can create an open effect by multiple mirrors reflecting multiple angles.\\nTry to balance having enough mirrors to open up your space and make the room feel bigger without adding so many mirrors that your room looks messy or cluttered.\\nIf your budget and space only calls for one mirror, select the full size mirror so you can view your entire look.\\nIf you only have small mirrors to work with, place them at eye-level or above in a row on your wall, spaced evenly, a few feet apart.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making a Dark Room Look Lighter\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hang a full-size mirror across the room from your largest window.\", \"描述\": \"Positioning the mirror here will brighten your space by reflecting the natural light that shines in from your window. \\nEnsure your window is clean to reflect as much light possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Angle mirrors to reflect as much light as possible.\", \"描述\": \"After you hang your first mirror, follow the angles of the mirror and position your next mirror based on how much light is reflected in each. Placing mirrors in locations where you can play with the angles to reflect light helps you harness as much light as possible--both the natural light from the windows and the lighting in your bedroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Place your mirror directly next to a window to reflect the outside.\", \"描述\": \"Putting it here helps reflect the additional sunlight that comes in from the window. Larger mirrors will reflect the most light, though smaller mirrors can still achieve this effect. Depending on your mirror and window size, experiment with leaving a few inches between the window and the wall in order to reflect as much light possible.\\nIf you have another mirror across from your window, try using this step to maximize potential natural light.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use mirrored cabinet doors to reflect extra light.\", \"描述\": \"This will not only make your space look larger but also provide more opportunity to reflect both natural and artificial light.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not install mirrors on the ceiling. Normal mirrors are too heavy for proper installation on the ceiling. This may damage your ceiling, bedroom, and yourself. If you are interested in hanging a mirror on your ceiling, ensure you have lightweight mirrors are designed specifically for ceiling installation.\\n\", \"Do not expose the back of your mirror to direct sunlight or concentrated heat. Exposing the back of your mirror to heat and light may harm the silver backing, and this is important to note when arranging your mirror near natural light. If your mirror is positioned in a spot with much natural light or heat exposure, a heavy curtain can come in handy if your mirror is might assist if across from a window space.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,417 | How to Arrange Your Furniture | 1. Planning Your Space
1-1. Measure everything.
If you want to plan your furniture arrangement and not need to constantly move heavy furniture until you find something you like, take measurements of everything first so that you can plan your space theoretically.
1-2. Draw the room and pieces.
You can draw the room onto graph paper based on the measurements you took (1' to every 3 squares, for example). Draw it with no furniture first. Then, draw your furniture on a separate piece of paper, to scale, and cut out the pieces. Now you can make practice arrangements, however you like.
1-3. Use room planning software.
No longer is planning software limited to interior designers: there are lots of software options for planning out your room. From Chrome extensions like 5d, to games like The Sims (2 and 3 work great for this), there are tons of options to let you experiment with arrangements, color schemes, style, and sizing.
2. Setting Your Focal Point
2-1. Decide your focal point.
The focal point of the room will depend on what room you're in. In a living room, it could be a picture window, fireplace or television. In a bedroom, it should be the bed. A dining room, the table. Figure out what the focal point of the room will be, since the majority of the furniture will be around it.
2-2. Scale it properly.
If you have the option to get an item of different sizes, get one that fits the space that it's in. For example, don't get a bed or dining table that is too big for the room. There should be a minimum of three feet around the large objects in a room, to make them usable.
2-3. Move your focal point.
Move your focal point, if you can, to the best spot in the room. This should be a place where, when you walk in to the room, you should have the focal point facing you and very prominent. Your eye should be drawn to the object.
2-4. Draw attention to the point.
Draw further attention to the focal point later by placing accessories in this area. For a bedroom this will mean side tables with lamps or other items, while with a couch it will mean paintings or a mirror. A TV should generally be made more prominent with shelving or bookshelves, unless it is a part of a large entertainment center.
3. Positioning Seating
3-1. Scale your seating.
Once the focal point is arranged, you'll want to add some seating to the room (unless, perhaps, it is a bedroom). Make sure the seating you choose is the right size for the room. Leaving enough space, as with the focal point, to make it usable. For example, at least three feet should be available behind each dining chair.
Try to limit yourself to only one piece of oversized furniture in a single room. Too many and it will look crowded and cheap.
3-2. Create an open arrangement.
When you arrange the seating in the room, it should appear open and inviting when standing at the entrance to the room (or at least the main entrance). Avoid having chairs facing away from the door, for example.
3-3. Use angles strategically.
You can add drama to a room by placing furniture at an angle, but be careful. This takes up valuable space in a small room. Use furniture placed at angles only if your room is very large or you don't quite have enough furniture to fill the space.
3-4. Distance the furniture appropriately.
When place seating in an area that will be used for conversation, such as living room furniture, you should be careful not to put the items too far apart or too close together. Roughly 6–8 feet (1.8–2.4 m) for seating pieces facing each other is a good rule of thumb. Pieces places in an L shape should have 6"-1' between their corners.
4. Positioning Surfaces
4-1. Create nearby surfaces.
Especially in the living room (but also, to an extent, in the bedroom), you should have a surface within arms reach of every major seating spot. This is so that people have a place to set down drinks while talking. Try to leave these surfaces if you can. If they would be in the way most of the time, consider movable surfaces that can be dragged into position as necessary.
4-2. Pay attention to levels.
Surface levels should be appropriate to the area that they are in. Decorative tables at the edge of a room should be taller than tables next to a couch or chair. Keep items next to seating as level as possible with the arm of the seating object.
4-3. Get the right size.
Avoid overly large coffee tables or other tables. These can make it difficult to get around a room or get to seating (think of the poor guy taking the middle seat in an otherwise full couch!). Instead, make sure that there is roughly 1-2 of space between the edge of the table and the next piece of furniture.
4-4. Consider your lighting.
You likely will need to use some of the tables in a room as surfaces on which to place reading lights or lamps. Make sure that you place the table strategically so that all areas are lit and also so that outlets will be within reach for the lamps.
5. Creating Room for Movement
5-1. Leave a pathway between entrances.
If there is more than one entrance to a room, make sure that there is a clear and fairly straight path between them (it can "arc" around a seating area if necessary). This can also help divide a space and make sure each entrance has an open area facing it.
5-2. Avoid blockading paths.
Think about how someone would need to move through a room. The consider where your furniture is. Is something going to get in the way? Make it difficult to get from one area to the next? Make sure these barriers are moved or at least broken up.
5-3. Make sure all furniture and outlets are easily accessible.
Not only do you want to be able to sit down on your couch easily, you also want to be able to reach things like outlets easily. Have at least one easily reachable with a nearby, low table. This will allow you a space to charge electronics, like phones and portable media devices.
5-4. Separate spaces.
You can also use furniture to break up large spaces, although this should be considered earlier on in the process. If you have a very large, open room, it will be better to use the furniture to break the space up into sections. For example, use the backs of couches in place of walls to create a living room and make the space on the other side the dining area.
6. Placing Accessories
6-1. Use paintings strategically.
Paintings and other wall decorations placed high can make a space look bigger, while placing a painting above a couch and placing tables at either end will make that space look larger. Paintings can also help make a large wall look less blank.
6-2. Use mirrors strategically.
Mirrors placed on a wall can make a small space look larger, by reflecting light and creating the appearance of more room in the room. You can effectively double the amount of space it looks like you have! But be careful...mirrors can easily make a room look cheap.
6-3. Size rugs carefully.
Rugs should be sized so that they just fill the area they are placed in. Rugs which are too small or too large can make a room look just that: too small or too large.
6-4. Use high curtains.
High curtains will draw the eye up, creating the appearance of higher ceilings. It can also make a room look more proportional if your windows and ceilings are already high.
6-5. Use size dependent items strategically.
If you want to make a small room look larger, use furniture which is sized down and then avoid items which give it away, such as cups, bowls, or other standard size items. This is the dollhouse effect, where your room will have the appearance of being large and spacious but further away.
6-6. Use symmetry.
When placing accessories, or any furniture items, try to use symmetry. This is a quick cheat to making a furniture arrangement look better. Place a table on either side of a couch, a bookshelf on either side of a TV, a painting on either side of a table, etc.
Tips
Spaces that need 36"-6' clearance:
Hallways
In front of clothes closets, dressers and chests of drawers
Any route where 2 people might pass each other
In front of stove, refrigerator, sink, washer and dryer areas
From the edge of a dining room table to a wall or stationary object.
Sides of bed you get in
4' or more for stairways.
Spaces that need 18"-4'clearance:
Sides of beds used only for making the bed
Between sofas & coffee tables
30" in routes where only one person will walk such as in front of tubs or through doorways.
There should be at least 30" of clearance in front of the bathtub, shower, toilet and/or sink.
Warnings
Do not move furniture in a messy room!
Be careful and do not move anything that is too heavy for you!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Planning Your Space\\n1-1. Measure everything.\\nIf you want to plan your furniture arrangement and not need to constantly move heavy furniture until you find something you like, take measurements of everything first so that you can plan your space theoretically.\\n1-2. Draw the room and pieces.\\nYou can draw the room onto graph paper based on the measurements you took (1' to every 3 squares, for example). Draw it with no furniture first. Then, draw your furniture on a separate piece of paper, to scale, and cut out the pieces. Now you can make practice arrangements, however you like.\\n1-3. Use room planning software.\\nNo longer is planning software limited to interior designers: there are lots of software options for planning out your room. From Chrome extensions like 5d, to games like The Sims (2 and 3 work great for this), there are tons of options to let you experiment with arrangements, color schemes, style, and sizing.\\n2. Setting Your Focal Point\\n2-1. Decide your focal point.\\nThe focal point of the room will depend on what room you're in. In a living room, it could be a picture window, fireplace or television. In a bedroom, it should be the bed. A dining room, the table. Figure out what the focal point of the room will be, since the majority of the furniture will be around it.\\n2-2. Scale it properly.\\nIf you have the option to get an item of different sizes, get one that fits the space that it's in. For example, don't get a bed or dining table that is too big for the room. There should be a minimum of three feet around the large objects in a room, to make them usable.\\n2-3. Move your focal point.\\nMove your focal point, if you can, to the best spot in the room. This should be a place where, when you walk in to the room, you should have the focal point facing you and very prominent. Your eye should be drawn to the object.\\n2-4. Draw attention to the point.\\nDraw further attention to the focal point later by placing accessories in this area. For a bedroom this will mean side tables with lamps or other items, while with a couch it will mean paintings or a mirror. A TV should generally be made more prominent with shelving or bookshelves, unless it is a part of a large entertainment center.\\n3. Positioning Seating\\n3-1. Scale your seating.\\nOnce the focal point is arranged, you'll want to add some seating to the room (unless, perhaps, it is a bedroom). Make sure the seating you choose is the right size for the room. Leaving enough space, as with the focal point, to make it usable. For example, at least three feet should be available behind each dining chair. \\nTry to limit yourself to only one piece of oversized furniture in a single room. Too many and it will look crowded and cheap.\\n3-2. Create an open arrangement.\\nWhen you arrange the seating in the room, it should appear open and inviting when standing at the entrance to the room (or at least the main entrance). Avoid having chairs facing away from the door, for example.\\n3-3. Use angles strategically.\\nYou can add drama to a room by placing furniture at an angle, but be careful. This takes up valuable space in a small room. Use furniture placed at angles only if your room is very large or you don't quite have enough furniture to fill the space.\\n3-4. Distance the furniture appropriately.\\nWhen place seating in an area that will be used for conversation, such as living room furniture, you should be careful not to put the items too far apart or too close together. Roughly 6–8 feet (1.8–2.4 m) for seating pieces facing each other is a good rule of thumb. Pieces places in an L shape should have 6\\\"-1' between their corners.\\n4. Positioning Surfaces\\n4-1. Create nearby surfaces.\\nEspecially in the living room (but also, to an extent, in the bedroom), you should have a surface within arms reach of every major seating spot. This is so that people have a place to set down drinks while talking. Try to leave these surfaces if you can. If they would be in the way most of the time, consider movable surfaces that can be dragged into position as necessary.\\n4-2. Pay attention to levels.\\nSurface levels should be appropriate to the area that they are in. Decorative tables at the edge of a room should be taller than tables next to a couch or chair. Keep items next to seating as level as possible with the arm of the seating object.\\n4-3. Get the right size.\\nAvoid overly large coffee tables or other tables. These can make it difficult to get around a room or get to seating (think of the poor guy taking the middle seat in an otherwise full couch!). Instead, make sure that there is roughly 1-2 of space between the edge of the table and the next piece of furniture.\\n4-4. Consider your lighting.\\nYou likely will need to use some of the tables in a room as surfaces on which to place reading lights or lamps. Make sure that you place the table strategically so that all areas are lit and also so that outlets will be within reach for the lamps.\\n5. Creating Room for Movement\\n5-1. Leave a pathway between entrances.\\nIf there is more than one entrance to a room, make sure that there is a clear and fairly straight path between them (it can \\\"arc\\\" around a seating area if necessary). This can also help divide a space and make sure each entrance has an open area facing it.\\n5-2. Avoid blockading paths.\\nThink about how someone would need to move through a room. The consider where your furniture is. Is something going to get in the way? Make it difficult to get from one area to the next? Make sure these barriers are moved or at least broken up.\\n5-3. Make sure all furniture and outlets are easily accessible.\\nNot only do you want to be able to sit down on your couch easily, you also want to be able to reach things like outlets easily. Have at least one easily reachable with a nearby, low table. This will allow you a space to charge electronics, like phones and portable media devices.\\n5-4. Separate spaces.\\nYou can also use furniture to break up large spaces, although this should be considered earlier on in the process. If you have a very large, open room, it will be better to use the furniture to break the space up into sections. For example, use the backs of couches in place of walls to create a living room and make the space on the other side the dining area.\\n6. Placing Accessories\\n6-1. Use paintings strategically.\\nPaintings and other wall decorations placed high can make a space look bigger, while placing a painting above a couch and placing tables at either end will make that space look larger. Paintings can also help make a large wall look less blank.\\n6-2. Use mirrors strategically.\\nMirrors placed on a wall can make a small space look larger, by reflecting light and creating the appearance of more room in the room. You can effectively double the amount of space it looks like you have! But be careful...mirrors can easily make a room look cheap.\\n6-3. Size rugs carefully.\\nRugs should be sized so that they just fill the area they are placed in. Rugs which are too small or too large can make a room look just that: too small or too large.\\n6-4. Use high curtains.\\nHigh curtains will draw the eye up, creating the appearance of higher ceilings. It can also make a room look more proportional if your windows and ceilings are already high.\\n6-5. Use size dependent items strategically.\\nIf you want to make a small room look larger, use furniture which is sized down and then avoid items which give it away, such as cups, bowls, or other standard size items. This is the dollhouse effect, where your room will have the appearance of being large and spacious but further away.\\n6-6. Use symmetry.\\nWhen placing accessories, or any furniture items, try to use symmetry. This is a quick cheat to making a furniture arrangement look better. Place a table on either side of a couch, a bookshelf on either side of a TV, a painting on either side of a table, etc.\\nTips\\nSpaces that need 36\\\"-6' clearance:\\nHallways\\nIn front of clothes closets, dressers and chests of drawers\\nAny route where 2 people might pass each other\\nIn front of stove, refrigerator, sink, washer and dryer areas\\nFrom the edge of a dining room table to a wall or stationary object.\\nSides of bed you get in\\n4' or more for stairways.\\nSpaces that need 18\\\"-4'clearance:\\nSides of beds used only for making the bed\\nBetween sofas & coffee tables\\n30\\\" in routes where only one person will walk such as in front of tubs or through doorways.\\nThere should be at least 30\\\" of clearance in front of the bathtub, shower, toilet and/or sink.\\nWarnings\\nDo not move furniture in a messy room!\\nBe careful and do not move anything that is too heavy for you!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This will hopefully help you to know where to put your furniture. The most important part is to first toss away the junk, move the bed and make sure there is nothing underneath it, and get ready to arrange.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Planning Your Space\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Measure everything.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to plan your furniture arrangement and not need to constantly move heavy furniture until you find something you like, take measurements of everything first so that you can plan your space theoretically.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Draw the room and pieces.\", \"描述\": \"You can draw the room onto graph paper based on the measurements you took (1' to every 3 squares, for example). Draw it with no furniture first. Then, draw your furniture on a separate piece of paper, to scale, and cut out the pieces. Now you can make practice arrangements, however you like.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use room planning software.\", \"描述\": \"No longer is planning software limited to interior designers: there are lots of software options for planning out your room. From Chrome extensions like 5d, to games like The Sims (2 and 3 work great for this), there are tons of options to let you experiment with arrangements, color schemes, style, and sizing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Setting Your Focal Point\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide your focal point.\", \"描述\": \"The focal point of the room will depend on what room you're in. In a living room, it could be a picture window, fireplace or television. In a bedroom, it should be the bed. A dining room, the table. Figure out what the focal point of the room will be, since the majority of the furniture will be around it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Scale it properly.\", \"描述\": \"If you have the option to get an item of different sizes, get one that fits the space that it's in. For example, don't get a bed or dining table that is too big for the room. There should be a minimum of three feet around the large objects in a room, to make them usable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Move your focal point.\", \"描述\": \"Move your focal point, if you can, to the best spot in the room. This should be a place where, when you walk in to the room, you should have the focal point facing you and very prominent. Your eye should be drawn to the object.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Draw attention to the point.\", \"描述\": \"Draw further attention to the focal point later by placing accessories in this area. For a bedroom this will mean side tables with lamps or other items, while with a couch it will mean paintings or a mirror. A TV should generally be made more prominent with shelving or bookshelves, unless it is a part of a large entertainment center.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Positioning Seating\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Scale your seating.\", \"描述\": \"Once the focal point is arranged, you'll want to add some seating to the room (unless, perhaps, it is a bedroom). Make sure the seating you choose is the right size for the room. Leaving enough space, as with the focal point, to make it usable. For example, at least three feet should be available behind each dining chair. \\nTry to limit yourself to only one piece of oversized furniture in a single room. Too many and it will look crowded and cheap.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create an open arrangement.\", \"描述\": \"When you arrange the seating in the room, it should appear open and inviting when standing at the entrance to the room (or at least the main entrance). Avoid having chairs facing away from the door, for example.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use angles strategically.\", \"描述\": \"You can add drama to a room by placing furniture at an angle, but be careful. This takes up valuable space in a small room. Use furniture placed at angles only if your room is very large or you don't quite have enough furniture to fill the space.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Distance the furniture appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"When place seating in an area that will be used for conversation, such as living room furniture, you should be careful not to put the items too far apart or too close together. Roughly 6–8 feet (1.8–2.4 m) for seating pieces facing each other is a good rule of thumb. Pieces places in an L shape should have 6\\\"-1' between their corners.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Positioning Surfaces\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create nearby surfaces.\", \"描述\": \"Especially in the living room (but also, to an extent, in the bedroom), you should have a surface within arms reach of every major seating spot. This is so that people have a place to set down drinks while talking. Try to leave these surfaces if you can. If they would be in the way most of the time, consider movable surfaces that can be dragged into position as necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to levels.\", \"描述\": \"Surface levels should be appropriate to the area that they are in. Decorative tables at the edge of a room should be taller than tables next to a couch or chair. Keep items next to seating as level as possible with the arm of the seating object.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get the right size.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid overly large coffee tables or other tables. These can make it difficult to get around a room or get to seating (think of the poor guy taking the middle seat in an otherwise full couch!). Instead, make sure that there is roughly 1-2 of space between the edge of the table and the next piece of furniture.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider your lighting.\", \"描述\": \"You likely will need to use some of the tables in a room as surfaces on which to place reading lights or lamps. Make sure that you place the table strategically so that all areas are lit and also so that outlets will be within reach for the lamps.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Creating Room for Movement\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Leave a pathway between entrances.\", \"描述\": \"If there is more than one entrance to a room, make sure that there is a clear and fairly straight path between them (it can \\\"arc\\\" around a seating area if necessary). This can also help divide a space and make sure each entrance has an open area facing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid blockading paths.\", \"描述\": \"Think about how someone would need to move through a room. The consider where your furniture is. Is something going to get in the way? Make it difficult to get from one area to the next? Make sure these barriers are moved or at least broken up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make sure all furniture and outlets are easily accessible.\", \"描述\": \"Not only do you want to be able to sit down on your couch easily, you also want to be able to reach things like outlets easily. Have at least one easily reachable with a nearby, low table. This will allow you a space to charge electronics, like phones and portable media devices.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Separate spaces.\", \"描述\": \"You can also use furniture to break up large spaces, although this should be considered earlier on in the process. If you have a very large, open room, it will be better to use the furniture to break the space up into sections. For example, use the backs of couches in place of walls to create a living room and make the space on the other side the dining area.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Placing Accessories\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use paintings strategically.\", \"描述\": \"Paintings and other wall decorations placed high can make a space look bigger, while placing a painting above a couch and placing tables at either end will make that space look larger. Paintings can also help make a large wall look less blank.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use mirrors strategically.\", \"描述\": \"Mirrors placed on a wall can make a small space look larger, by reflecting light and creating the appearance of more room in the room. You can effectively double the amount of space it looks like you have! But be careful...mirrors can easily make a room look cheap.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Size rugs carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Rugs should be sized so that they just fill the area they are placed in. Rugs which are too small or too large can make a room look just that: too small or too large.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use high curtains.\", \"描述\": \"High curtains will draw the eye up, creating the appearance of higher ceilings. It can also make a room look more proportional if your windows and ceilings are already high.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use size dependent items strategically.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to make a small room look larger, use furniture which is sized down and then avoid items which give it away, such as cups, bowls, or other standard size items. This is the dollhouse effect, where your room will have the appearance of being large and spacious but further away.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use symmetry.\", \"描述\": \"When placing accessories, or any furniture items, try to use symmetry. This is a quick cheat to making a furniture arrangement look better. Place a table on either side of a couch, a bookshelf on either side of a TV, a painting on either side of a table, etc.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Spaces that need 36\\\"-6' clearance:\\nHallways\\nIn front of clothes closets, dressers and chests of drawers\\nAny route where 2 people might pass each other\\nIn front of stove, refrigerator, sink, washer and dryer areas\\nFrom the edge of a dining room table to a wall or stationary object.\\nSides of bed you get in\\n4' or more for stairways.\\n\", \"Spaces that need 18\\\"-4'clearance:\\nSides of beds used only for making the bed\\nBetween sofas & coffee tables\\n30\\\" in routes where only one person will walk such as in front of tubs or through doorways.\\nThere should be at least 30\\\" of clearance in front of the bathtub, shower, toilet and/or sink.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not move furniture in a messy room!\\n\", \"Be careful and do not move anything that is too heavy for you!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,418 | How to Arrange Your Poems for a Poetry Collection | 1. Organizing the Poems
1-1. Identify your strongest poems.
Start by reading through your poems one by one. You may have a stack of forty to fifty poems that you are considering or a pile of hundreds. Read each poem and then put them in two piles: strong and weak. You can then look more closely at the poems in the strong pile and include these in the collection.
When you are putting poems in these piles, do not put too much stock in poems that have already been published or have won accolades. You should try to use your own judgement when deciding if a poem is strong or weak and not rely on outside opinions.
You should also use this step to help you select poems for the collection and not as an organizing principle. Ordering your poems from strongest to weakest in a collection will not showcase your best work as a whole and may leave the reader deflated or disinterested by the time they get to the end of the book.
1-2. Find a unifying theme or form.
Many successful poetry collections will present a unified theme to the reader and include poems that speak to this theme. This will allow the reader to connect to the poems on a poem-by-poem level and the collection as a whole.
For example, you may read through your poems and realize many of your strongest poems discuss queerness and being the outsider in a group. You may then use queerness as the theme for your poems and make sure that each poem relates back to this theme.
You may also notice that many of your strongest poems follow a specific poetic form, such as the sonnet or the haiku. You may then decide to use this poetic form as the unifiers and only include poems that use this form.
1-3. Have a narrative arc.
The collection should feel like it has a beginning, middle, and end, where you should start somewhere and end up somewhere else. The goal should be to take the reader on an emotional journey. The journey may end with a resolution of some kind or a conclusion.
Think about how each poem sets a certain mood or tone and then place them side by side. Notice if the mood or tone shifts if you place one poem next to another.
For example, you may notice that you have a poem about being queer in high school and another poem about being queer as an adult. You may decide to place several poems after the high school poem so there is a build up and a change that happens by the time the reader gets to the adult poem about queerness.
As well, if you have recurring images or phrases in your poems, you may spread them out so they do not feel clustered together. You may also notice that certain poems fit together better side by side and certain poems become more meaningful when they fall at a certain point in the narrative arc of the collection.
1-4. Link certain poems together.
You can also try linking your poems together so they make sense on a micro level. This is often done with poems that feel more emotional and abstract. You may link poems together based on wording used in each poem or images that feel connected.
For example, you may note a certain color in one poem and link it with another poem that explores the same color in a more abstract way. Or, you may link three poems together based on a repeated line or an image they all share.
1-5. Put your strongest poem first.
Like the first line of a novel, the first poem in your collection is crucial. It will tell your reader what they can expect in the rest of the collection and compel them to continue reading. You should try to have your strongest poem as the first poem in your collection so you can showcase your best work upfront.
You may also decide to then alternate between stronger poems and weaker poems so the reader gets a wide sample of your voice and so the stronger poems can help to illuminate weaker poems.
However, you should not try to hide really weak poems by using stronger poems as a distraction. Your reader will likely notice this and question why weaker poems were included in the collection in the first place.
1-6. Leave out poems that do not fit with the whole.
You should be willing to let go of poems that do not fit with the rest or that do not mesh with the collection as a whole. Part of arranging a strong poetry collection is being willing to admit when a poem does not work and needs to be cut.
Remember that you can always save any poems that are cut for future collections or other projects. Just because a poem does not fit with your current collection does not mean it will not find a home among other poems in the future.
2. Polishing the Collection
2-1. Read the collection out loud from start to finish.
Once you have organized your poems into a collection, you should read it out loud to yourself from start to finish. Listen to how each poem sounds next to each other and notice if there is a build up of emotion, mood, and tension as the collection progresses.r
You should also read the collection out loud to a trusted friend or peer and allow them to read the collection on their own. They may be able to give you useful feedback and constructive criticism about the ordering of your poems. Having a second pair of eyes on the collection will likely only make it better.
2-2. Consider dividing the collection into sections.
You may decide to frame the collection by dividing it into sections. You may divide the poems based on the narrative arc of the collection, such as poems that discuss the beginning, poems that discuss the middle, and poems that discuss the end. Or, you may break up the poems based on a theme or on specific images.
Many poetry collections do not title or name the sections, as titles can feel too obvious and telling to the reader. If you decide to include section titles, try to make them still appear mysterious to the reader so the reader does not feel they are being told what to expect in each section.
You may decide to begin and end each section with strong poems that link each section together. This will help to book end each section but still allow the sections to link together into a cohesive whole.
Keep in mind you do not need to have sections in your collection, especially if you feel the collection does better without any breathing space or any interruptions. Some poetry collections benefit from having a straight narrative with no breaks or sections.
2-3. Do a spelling and grammar check.
You should also polish up the language in the collection to ensure it is grammatically correct and free of misspelled words. Do not rely on the spellcheck feature on your computer to do this for you. Instead, read the collection backwards, starting at the last page and moving backward. This will allow you to pay attention to each word and ensure it appears correctly on the page.
Because you are writing poetry and access your creativity, you may decide to play around with language. If there is a misspelled word or a grammatically incorrect sentence in your poems, it should be there on purpose and it should be obvious to the reader that it is intentional.
3. Formatting the Collection for Publication
3-1. Determine the page count of the collection.
Most poetry collections range from 50 to 70 pages. Often, less is more when it comes to poetry collections. Avoid overwhelming the reader with too many poems and too many sections. Try to keep the poetry collection concise, but still true to your artistic vision.
If you are planning to send your poetry collection a specific publisher, find out their page count requirements and try to fulfill them. You may end up cutting down more poems once you work with an editor, which will then affect your page count.
3-2. Include a title page.
Your poetry collection should have a title page, with the title and the author name. You may use your own name or a pen name that you have used in publishing before.
You may decide to title your poetry collection at the very end, once it has been organized and put together. You may come up with one word or several words that best describe the poetry collection, to you. Or, you may decide to use a phrase mentioned in one of your poems as the title for the collection.
3-3. Add a table of contents.
Most poetry collections will have a table of contents page following the title page. This page is a chance for you to show off the arrangement of your collection and present the order to your reader. Make sure you include the title of each poem in sequence on the table of contents page.
3-4. Put in an about the author page and an acknowledgements page.
You should include an about the author page at the very end of your manuscript, usually as the last page. Provide biographical information on this page and include a professional photograph of yourself, if you’d like.
You may also decide to have the acknowledgements page at the very end of the manuscript, or at the front of the manuscript, after the title page. The acknowledgements page is your chance to say thank you to those who helped you complete the collection. If the poem has been published in other journals, make sure you credit these literary journals by name.
Keep in mind an acknowledgements page is optional and not mandatory in the formatting of your collection. Some poetry collections have an acknowledgements page and some collections do not.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:47:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Organizing the Poems\\n1-1. Identify your strongest poems.\\nStart by reading through your poems one by one. You may have a stack of forty to fifty poems that you are considering or a pile of hundreds. Read each poem and then put them in two piles: strong and weak. You can then look more closely at the poems in the strong pile and include these in the collection.\\nWhen you are putting poems in these piles, do not put too much stock in poems that have already been published or have won accolades. You should try to use your own judgement when deciding if a poem is strong or weak and not rely on outside opinions.\\nYou should also use this step to help you select poems for the collection and not as an organizing principle. Ordering your poems from strongest to weakest in a collection will not showcase your best work as a whole and may leave the reader deflated or disinterested by the time they get to the end of the book.\\n1-2. Find a unifying theme or form.\\nMany successful poetry collections will present a unified theme to the reader and include poems that speak to this theme. This will allow the reader to connect to the poems on a poem-by-poem level and the collection as a whole.\\nFor example, you may read through your poems and realize many of your strongest poems discuss queerness and being the outsider in a group. You may then use queerness as the theme for your poems and make sure that each poem relates back to this theme.\\nYou may also notice that many of your strongest poems follow a specific poetic form, such as the sonnet or the haiku. You may then decide to use this poetic form as the unifiers and only include poems that use this form.\\n1-3. Have a narrative arc.\\nThe collection should feel like it has a beginning, middle, and end, where you should start somewhere and end up somewhere else. The goal should be to take the reader on an emotional journey. The journey may end with a resolution of some kind or a conclusion.\\nThink about how each poem sets a certain mood or tone and then place them side by side. Notice if the mood or tone shifts if you place one poem next to another.\\nFor example, you may notice that you have a poem about being queer in high school and another poem about being queer as an adult. You may decide to place several poems after the high school poem so there is a build up and a change that happens by the time the reader gets to the adult poem about queerness.\\nAs well, if you have recurring images or phrases in your poems, you may spread them out so they do not feel clustered together. You may also notice that certain poems fit together better side by side and certain poems become more meaningful when they fall at a certain point in the narrative arc of the collection.\\n1-4. Link certain poems together.\\nYou can also try linking your poems together so they make sense on a micro level. This is often done with poems that feel more emotional and abstract. You may link poems together based on wording used in each poem or images that feel connected.\\nFor example, you may note a certain color in one poem and link it with another poem that explores the same color in a more abstract way. Or, you may link three poems together based on a repeated line or an image they all share.\\n1-5. Put your strongest poem first.\\nLike the first line of a novel, the first poem in your collection is crucial. It will tell your reader what they can expect in the rest of the collection and compel them to continue reading. You should try to have your strongest poem as the first poem in your collection so you can showcase your best work upfront.\\nYou may also decide to then alternate between stronger poems and weaker poems so the reader gets a wide sample of your voice and so the stronger poems can help to illuminate weaker poems.\\nHowever, you should not try to hide really weak poems by using stronger poems as a distraction. Your reader will likely notice this and question why weaker poems were included in the collection in the first place.\\n1-6. Leave out poems that do not fit with the whole.\\nYou should be willing to let go of poems that do not fit with the rest or that do not mesh with the collection as a whole. Part of arranging a strong poetry collection is being willing to admit when a poem does not work and needs to be cut.\\nRemember that you can always save any poems that are cut for future collections or other projects. Just because a poem does not fit with your current collection does not mean it will not find a home among other poems in the future.\\n2. Polishing the Collection\\n2-1. Read the collection out loud from start to finish.\\nOnce you have organized your poems into a collection, you should read it out loud to yourself from start to finish. Listen to how each poem sounds next to each other and notice if there is a build up of emotion, mood, and tension as the collection progresses.r\\nYou should also read the collection out loud to a trusted friend or peer and allow them to read the collection on their own. They may be able to give you useful feedback and constructive criticism about the ordering of your poems. Having a second pair of eyes on the collection will likely only make it better.\\n2-2. Consider dividing the collection into sections.\\nYou may decide to frame the collection by dividing it into sections. You may divide the poems based on the narrative arc of the collection, such as poems that discuss the beginning, poems that discuss the middle, and poems that discuss the end. Or, you may break up the poems based on a theme or on specific images.\\nMany poetry collections do not title or name the sections, as titles can feel too obvious and telling to the reader. If you decide to include section titles, try to make them still appear mysterious to the reader so the reader does not feel they are being told what to expect in each section.\\nYou may decide to begin and end each section with strong poems that link each section together. This will help to book end each section but still allow the sections to link together into a cohesive whole.\\nKeep in mind you do not need to have sections in your collection, especially if you feel the collection does better without any breathing space or any interruptions. Some poetry collections benefit from having a straight narrative with no breaks or sections.\\n2-3. Do a spelling and grammar check.\\nYou should also polish up the language in the collection to ensure it is grammatically correct and free of misspelled words. Do not rely on the spellcheck feature on your computer to do this for you. Instead, read the collection backwards, starting at the last page and moving backward. This will allow you to pay attention to each word and ensure it appears correctly on the page.\\nBecause you are writing poetry and access your creativity, you may decide to play around with language. If there is a misspelled word or a grammatically incorrect sentence in your poems, it should be there on purpose and it should be obvious to the reader that it is intentional.\\n3. Formatting the Collection for Publication\\n3-1. Determine the page count of the collection.\\nMost poetry collections range from 50 to 70 pages. Often, less is more when it comes to poetry collections. Avoid overwhelming the reader with too many poems and too many sections. Try to keep the poetry collection concise, but still true to your artistic vision.\\nIf you are planning to send your poetry collection a specific publisher, find out their page count requirements and try to fulfill them. You may end up cutting down more poems once you work with an editor, which will then affect your page count.\\n3-2. Include a title page.\\nYour poetry collection should have a title page, with the title and the author name. You may use your own name or a pen name that you have used in publishing before.\\nYou may decide to title your poetry collection at the very end, once it has been organized and put together. You may come up with one word or several words that best describe the poetry collection, to you. Or, you may decide to use a phrase mentioned in one of your poems as the title for the collection.\\n3-3. Add a table of contents.\\nMost poetry collections will have a table of contents page following the title page. This page is a chance for you to show off the arrangement of your collection and present the order to your reader. Make sure you include the title of each poem in sequence on the table of contents page.\\n3-4. Put in an about the author page and an acknowledgements page.\\nYou should include an about the author page at the very end of your manuscript, usually as the last page. Provide biographical information on this page and include a professional photograph of yourself, if you’d like.\\nYou may also decide to have the acknowledgements page at the very end of the manuscript, or at the front of the manuscript, after the title page. The acknowledgements page is your chance to say thank you to those who helped you complete the collection. If the poem has been published in other journals, make sure you credit these literary journals by name.\\nKeep in mind an acknowledgements page is optional and not mandatory in the formatting of your collection. Some poetry collections have an acknowledgements page and some collections do not.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A chapbook, or a collection of poems, is an excellent way to display your work. It may feel like a daunting task to arrange your poems into a collection, as you will need to consider how to organize them into a complete work of art. You should start by organizing your poems so they make up a cohesive whole. You should then polish and format the collection so it is ready for publication.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Organizing the Poems\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify your strongest poems.\", \"描述\": \"Start by reading through your poems one by one. You may have a stack of forty to fifty poems that you are considering or a pile of hundreds. Read each poem and then put them in two piles: strong and weak. You can then look more closely at the poems in the strong pile and include these in the collection.\\nWhen you are putting poems in these piles, do not put too much stock in poems that have already been published or have won accolades. You should try to use your own judgement when deciding if a poem is strong or weak and not rely on outside opinions.\\nYou should also use this step to help you select poems for the collection and not as an organizing principle. Ordering your poems from strongest to weakest in a collection will not showcase your best work as a whole and may leave the reader deflated or disinterested by the time they get to the end of the book.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a unifying theme or form.\", \"描述\": \"Many successful poetry collections will present a unified theme to the reader and include poems that speak to this theme. This will allow the reader to connect to the poems on a poem-by-poem level and the collection as a whole.\\nFor example, you may read through your poems and realize many of your strongest poems discuss queerness and being the outsider in a group. You may then use queerness as the theme for your poems and make sure that each poem relates back to this theme.\\nYou may also notice that many of your strongest poems follow a specific poetic form, such as the sonnet or the haiku. You may then decide to use this poetic form as the unifiers and only include poems that use this form.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a narrative arc.\", \"描述\": \"The collection should feel like it has a beginning, middle, and end, where you should start somewhere and end up somewhere else. The goal should be to take the reader on an emotional journey. The journey may end with a resolution of some kind or a conclusion.\\nThink about how each poem sets a certain mood or tone and then place them side by side. Notice if the mood or tone shifts if you place one poem next to another.\\nFor example, you may notice that you have a poem about being queer in high school and another poem about being queer as an adult. You may decide to place several poems after the high school poem so there is a build up and a change that happens by the time the reader gets to the adult poem about queerness.\\nAs well, if you have recurring images or phrases in your poems, you may spread them out so they do not feel clustered together. You may also notice that certain poems fit together better side by side and certain poems become more meaningful when they fall at a certain point in the narrative arc of the collection.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Link certain poems together.\", \"描述\": \"You can also try linking your poems together so they make sense on a micro level. This is often done with poems that feel more emotional and abstract. You may link poems together based on wording used in each poem or images that feel connected.\\nFor example, you may note a certain color in one poem and link it with another poem that explores the same color in a more abstract way. Or, you may link three poems together based on a repeated line or an image they all share.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Put your strongest poem first.\", \"描述\": \"Like the first line of a novel, the first poem in your collection is crucial. It will tell your reader what they can expect in the rest of the collection and compel them to continue reading. You should try to have your strongest poem as the first poem in your collection so you can showcase your best work upfront.\\nYou may also decide to then alternate between stronger poems and weaker poems so the reader gets a wide sample of your voice and so the stronger poems can help to illuminate weaker poems.\\nHowever, you should not try to hide really weak poems by using stronger poems as a distraction. Your reader will likely notice this and question why weaker poems were included in the collection in the first place.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Leave out poems that do not fit with the whole.\", \"描述\": \"You should be willing to let go of poems that do not fit with the rest or that do not mesh with the collection as a whole. Part of arranging a strong poetry collection is being willing to admit when a poem does not work and needs to be cut.\\nRemember that you can always save any poems that are cut for future collections or other projects. Just because a poem does not fit with your current collection does not mean it will not find a home among other poems in the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Polishing the Collection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the collection out loud from start to finish.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have organized your poems into a collection, you should read it out loud to yourself from start to finish. Listen to how each poem sounds next to each other and notice if there is a build up of emotion, mood, and tension as the collection progresses.r\\nYou should also read the collection out loud to a trusted friend or peer and allow them to read the collection on their own. They may be able to give you useful feedback and constructive criticism about the ordering of your poems. Having a second pair of eyes on the collection will likely only make it better.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider dividing the collection into sections.\", \"描述\": \"You may decide to frame the collection by dividing it into sections. You may divide the poems based on the narrative arc of the collection, such as poems that discuss the beginning, poems that discuss the middle, and poems that discuss the end. Or, you may break up the poems based on a theme or on specific images.\\nMany poetry collections do not title or name the sections, as titles can feel too obvious and telling to the reader. If you decide to include section titles, try to make them still appear mysterious to the reader so the reader does not feel they are being told what to expect in each section.\\nYou may decide to begin and end each section with strong poems that link each section together. This will help to book end each section but still allow the sections to link together into a cohesive whole.\\nKeep in mind you do not need to have sections in your collection, especially if you feel the collection does better without any breathing space or any interruptions. Some poetry collections benefit from having a straight narrative with no breaks or sections.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do a spelling and grammar check.\", \"描述\": \"You should also polish up the language in the collection to ensure it is grammatically correct and free of misspelled words. Do not rely on the spellcheck feature on your computer to do this for you. Instead, read the collection backwards, starting at the last page and moving backward. This will allow you to pay attention to each word and ensure it appears correctly on the page.\\nBecause you are writing poetry and access your creativity, you may decide to play around with language. If there is a misspelled word or a grammatically incorrect sentence in your poems, it should be there on purpose and it should be obvious to the reader that it is intentional.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Formatting the Collection for Publication\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine the page count of the collection.\", \"描述\": \"Most poetry collections range from 50 to 70 pages. Often, less is more when it comes to poetry collections. Avoid overwhelming the reader with too many poems and too many sections. Try to keep the poetry collection concise, but still true to your artistic vision.\\nIf you are planning to send your poetry collection a specific publisher, find out their page count requirements and try to fulfill them. You may end up cutting down more poems once you work with an editor, which will then affect your page count.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Include a title page.\", \"描述\": \"Your poetry collection should have a title page, with the title and the author name. You may use your own name or a pen name that you have used in publishing before.\\nYou may decide to title your poetry collection at the very end, once it has been organized and put together. You may come up with one word or several words that best describe the poetry collection, to you. Or, you may decide to use a phrase mentioned in one of your poems as the title for the collection.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Add a table of contents.\", \"描述\": \"Most poetry collections will have a table of contents page following the title page. This page is a chance for you to show off the arrangement of your collection and present the order to your reader. Make sure you include the title of each poem in sequence on the table of contents page.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put in an about the author page and an acknowledgements page.\", \"描述\": \"You should include an about the author page at the very end of your manuscript, usually as the last page. Provide biographical information on this page and include a professional photograph of yourself, if you’d like.\\nYou may also decide to have the acknowledgements page at the very end of the manuscript, or at the front of the manuscript, after the title page. The acknowledgements page is your chance to say thank you to those who helped you complete the collection. If the poem has been published in other journals, make sure you credit these literary journals by name.\\nKeep in mind an acknowledgements page is optional and not mandatory in the formatting of your collection. Some poetry collections have an acknowledgements page and some collections do not.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,419 | How to Arrange Your Wallet | 1. Cleaning Out Your Wallet
1-1. Take everything out of your wallet and put it on a table.
Empty out the entire contents of your wallet so you will be able to reorganize it. This will help you evaluate what’s in your wallet and get rid of things that you don’t need.
You can take this chance to turn your wallet upside down and shake out all those dust bunnies as well!
1-2. Throw away any trash, unneeded cards, and other useless items.
Toss obvious pieces of trash out first, such as scraps of paper, gum wrappers, old receipts, or expired coupons. Throw away any unwanted business cards, loyalty cards, membership cards, and anything else you don’t actually use.
Really stop any think about whether you need each and every item. For example, you might have a stash of business cards that you felt obligated to take, but deep down you know you’ll never use them. Get rid of them!
1-3. Clean out your wallet once a week to get rid of junk.
Do a weekly clean-out to prevent the accumulation of unneeded items in your wallet. You will have a much more organized and less bulky wallet this way.
You don’t have to dump everything out on your table every week and go through the whole process again, but at least have a quick look through your wallet and clear out the trash and other unnecessary things that end up in there.
2. Putting the Essentials in Your Wallet
2-1. Put only the ID that you actually need and use into your wallet.
Put your most important ID into the little plastic ID window pocket. This will normally be your driver’s license, if you have one, or some other type of photo ID.
A single form of photo ID is usually sufficient for any situations that you might run into where you need to present it, so there’s no need to carry more.
Leave other important forms of ID, such as a social security card, in a safe place at home. There’s no need to carry sensitive forms of ID around, and you definitely don’t want to lose it if your wallet gets misplaced or stolen.
2-2. Choose 2-3 credit and debit cards to carry in your wallet.
You will usually want your debit card so that you can withdraw cash when needed. Select 1-2 credit cards that you use regularly to carry in addition to your debit card.
Keep all these bank cards near each other in your wallet, in separate card slots, so that you can easily find them at a cash register or when paying a bill.
Leaving some cards at home will also ensure that you have backups in case you lose your wallet.
2-3. Organize a small sum of cash by value and put it in the bill holder.
It’s always a good idea to carry some cash with you in case you run into a situation where you can’t pay with a card. Organize about $30-50 in bills by their denomination and stick them in the slot for cash in your wallet.
If you typically take out cash from ATMs in large sums, then leave most of it at home and just take an amount with you that you might actually end up using while out and about.
2-4. Carry only the membership and loyalty cards you use regularly.
Look through the other piles of cards that were in your wallet and decide which ones you are likely to use. Group similar cards together in the same slots of your wallet.
If there are cards that you want to keep, but don’t use much, just leave them in a drawer at home and grab them on the way out the door if you are headed somewhere that you want to use one.
3. Preventing Future Clutter
3-1. Digitize any information that you can to avoid carrying it with you.
Put the contact information from business cards of people you actually might contact into your phone and get rid of the cards or leave them at home. Use apps on your phone to store card info to limit the number of cards you need to carry around.
If you have an iPhone you can use Apple Wallet to carry digital card info, or if you have an Android phone you can use Google wallet.
3-2. Put business cards in a separate business card holder if you use them.
Carrying a bunch of your own business cards to hand out in your wallet is an easy way to bulk it up. Get a separate business card holder to carry your cards and free up space in your wallet.
You can also digitize your own business cards by using a mobile app to create digital versions that people can read with their phones by scanning a QR code.
3-3. Store your loose change somewhere other than your wallet.
Coins take up a lot of space and add a lot of weight to your wallet. Take them out and put them in a jar to save up for a rainy day.
If you actually use change and insist on carrying it, then use a wallet that has a small zippered pouch for coins.
3-4. Choose a wallet that is a suitable size for your needs.
Get a wallet that has just enough space for your essential items. This will keep you from filling it up with things you don’t actually need.
You can get a small front-pocket wallet, that just has room for cards, and carry a small amount of cash separately if needed.
Tips
If you have a receipt for an item that you want to return, keep that receipt with you in the money holder section of your wallet.
Get a wallet that has a zippered slot or closed pocket if you want to carry coins in your wallet.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Cleaning Out Your Wallet\\n1-1. Take everything out of your wallet and put it on a table.\\nEmpty out the entire contents of your wallet so you will be able to reorganize it. This will help you evaluate what’s in your wallet and get rid of things that you don’t need.\\nYou can take this chance to turn your wallet upside down and shake out all those dust bunnies as well!\\n1-2. Throw away any trash, unneeded cards, and other useless items.\\nToss obvious pieces of trash out first, such as scraps of paper, gum wrappers, old receipts, or expired coupons. Throw away any unwanted business cards, loyalty cards, membership cards, and anything else you don’t actually use.\\nReally stop any think about whether you need each and every item. For example, you might have a stash of business cards that you felt obligated to take, but deep down you know you’ll never use them. Get rid of them!\\n1-3. Clean out your wallet once a week to get rid of junk.\\nDo a weekly clean-out to prevent the accumulation of unneeded items in your wallet. You will have a much more organized and less bulky wallet this way.\\nYou don’t have to dump everything out on your table every week and go through the whole process again, but at least have a quick look through your wallet and clear out the trash and other unnecessary things that end up in there.\\n2. Putting the Essentials in Your Wallet\\n2-1. Put only the ID that you actually need and use into your wallet.\\nPut your most important ID into the little plastic ID window pocket. This will normally be your driver’s license, if you have one, or some other type of photo ID.\\nA single form of photo ID is usually sufficient for any situations that you might run into where you need to present it, so there’s no need to carry more.\\nLeave other important forms of ID, such as a social security card, in a safe place at home. There’s no need to carry sensitive forms of ID around, and you definitely don’t want to lose it if your wallet gets misplaced or stolen.\\n2-2. Choose 2-3 credit and debit cards to carry in your wallet.\\nYou will usually want your debit card so that you can withdraw cash when needed. Select 1-2 credit cards that you use regularly to carry in addition to your debit card.\\nKeep all these bank cards near each other in your wallet, in separate card slots, so that you can easily find them at a cash register or when paying a bill.\\nLeaving some cards at home will also ensure that you have backups in case you lose your wallet.\\n2-3. Organize a small sum of cash by value and put it in the bill holder.\\nIt’s always a good idea to carry some cash with you in case you run into a situation where you can’t pay with a card. Organize about $30-50 in bills by their denomination and stick them in the slot for cash in your wallet.\\nIf you typically take out cash from ATMs in large sums, then leave most of it at home and just take an amount with you that you might actually end up using while out and about.\\n2-4. Carry only the membership and loyalty cards you use regularly.\\nLook through the other piles of cards that were in your wallet and decide which ones you are likely to use. Group similar cards together in the same slots of your wallet.\\nIf there are cards that you want to keep, but don’t use much, just leave them in a drawer at home and grab them on the way out the door if you are headed somewhere that you want to use one.\\n3. Preventing Future Clutter\\n3-1. Digitize any information that you can to avoid carrying it with you.\\nPut the contact information from business cards of people you actually might contact into your phone and get rid of the cards or leave them at home. Use apps on your phone to store card info to limit the number of cards you need to carry around.\\nIf you have an iPhone you can use Apple Wallet to carry digital card info, or if you have an Android phone you can use Google wallet.\\n3-2. Put business cards in a separate business card holder if you use them.\\nCarrying a bunch of your own business cards to hand out in your wallet is an easy way to bulk it up. Get a separate business card holder to carry your cards and free up space in your wallet.\\nYou can also digitize your own business cards by using a mobile app to create digital versions that people can read with their phones by scanning a QR code.\\n3-3. Store your loose change somewhere other than your wallet.\\nCoins take up a lot of space and add a lot of weight to your wallet. Take them out and put them in a jar to save up for a rainy day.\\nIf you actually use change and insist on carrying it, then use a wallet that has a small zippered pouch for coins.\\n3-4. Choose a wallet that is a suitable size for your needs.\\nGet a wallet that has just enough space for your essential items. This will keep you from filling it up with things you don’t actually need.\\nYou can get a small front-pocket wallet, that just has room for cards, and carry a small amount of cash separately if needed.\\nTips\\nIf you have a receipt for an item that you want to return, keep that receipt with you in the money holder section of your wallet.\\nGet a wallet that has a zippered slot or closed pocket if you want to carry coins in your wallet.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re wallet is feeling too bulky, or you can’t ever seem to find what you need, it’s time to clean it out and rearrange it! Empty out your wallet and get rid of unwanted and useless items, then look at what’s left to decide what you really need. Reorganize your wallet neatly with the items you use on a regular basis to make your wallet less bulky and clutter-free!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cleaning Out Your Wallet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take everything out of your wallet and put it on a table.\", \"描述\": \"Empty out the entire contents of your wallet so you will be able to reorganize it. This will help you evaluate what’s in your wallet and get rid of things that you don’t need.\\nYou can take this chance to turn your wallet upside down and shake out all those dust bunnies as well!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Throw away any trash, unneeded cards, and other useless items.\", \"描述\": \"Toss obvious pieces of trash out first, such as scraps of paper, gum wrappers, old receipts, or expired coupons. Throw away any unwanted business cards, loyalty cards, membership cards, and anything else you don’t actually use.\\nReally stop any think about whether you need each and every item. For example, you might have a stash of business cards that you felt obligated to take, but deep down you know you’ll never use them. Get rid of them!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clean out your wallet once a week to get rid of junk.\", \"描述\": \"Do a weekly clean-out to prevent the accumulation of unneeded items in your wallet. You will have a much more organized and less bulky wallet this way.\\nYou don’t have to dump everything out on your table every week and go through the whole process again, but at least have a quick look through your wallet and clear out the trash and other unnecessary things that end up in there.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Putting the Essentials in Your Wallet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put only the ID that you actually need and use into your wallet.\", \"描述\": \"Put your most important ID into the little plastic ID window pocket. This will normally be your driver’s license, if you have one, or some other type of photo ID.\\nA single form of photo ID is usually sufficient for any situations that you might run into where you need to present it, so there’s no need to carry more.\\nLeave other important forms of ID, such as a social security card, in a safe place at home. There’s no need to carry sensitive forms of ID around, and you definitely don’t want to lose it if your wallet gets misplaced or stolen.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose 2-3 credit and debit cards to carry in your wallet.\", \"描述\": \"You will usually want your debit card so that you can withdraw cash when needed. Select 1-2 credit cards that you use regularly to carry in addition to your debit card.\\nKeep all these bank cards near each other in your wallet, in separate card slots, so that you can easily find them at a cash register or when paying a bill.\\nLeaving some cards at home will also ensure that you have backups in case you lose your wallet.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Organize a small sum of cash by value and put it in the bill holder.\", \"描述\": \"It’s always a good idea to carry some cash with you in case you run into a situation where you can’t pay with a card. Organize about $30-50 in bills by their denomination and stick them in the slot for cash in your wallet.\\nIf you typically take out cash from ATMs in large sums, then leave most of it at home and just take an amount with you that you might actually end up using while out and about.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Carry only the membership and loyalty cards you use regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Look through the other piles of cards that were in your wallet and decide which ones you are likely to use. Group similar cards together in the same slots of your wallet.\\nIf there are cards that you want to keep, but don’t use much, just leave them in a drawer at home and grab them on the way out the door if you are headed somewhere that you want to use one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Preventing Future Clutter\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Digitize any information that you can to avoid carrying it with you.\", \"描述\": \"Put the contact information from business cards of people you actually might contact into your phone and get rid of the cards or leave them at home. Use apps on your phone to store card info to limit the number of cards you need to carry around.\\nIf you have an iPhone you can use Apple Wallet to carry digital card info, or if you have an Android phone you can use Google wallet.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put business cards in a separate business card holder if you use them.\", \"描述\": \"Carrying a bunch of your own business cards to hand out in your wallet is an easy way to bulk it up. Get a separate business card holder to carry your cards and free up space in your wallet.\\nYou can also digitize your own business cards by using a mobile app to create digital versions that people can read with their phones by scanning a QR code.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Store your loose change somewhere other than your wallet.\", \"描述\": \"Coins take up a lot of space and add a lot of weight to your wallet. Take them out and put them in a jar to save up for a rainy day.\\nIf you actually use change and insist on carrying it, then use a wallet that has a small zippered pouch for coins.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose a wallet that is a suitable size for your needs.\", \"描述\": \"Get a wallet that has just enough space for your essential items. This will keep you from filling it up with things you don’t actually need.\\nYou can get a small front-pocket wallet, that just has room for cards, and carry a small amount of cash separately if needed.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have a receipt for an item that you want to return, keep that receipt with you in the money holder section of your wallet.\\n\", \"Get a wallet that has a zippered slot or closed pocket if you want to carry coins in your wallet.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,420 | How to Arrange a Cascade Bridal Bouquet | 1. Choosing Your Flowers
1-1. Choose about 15-18 stems of a long-stemmed flower for your bouquet.
Having one main flower repeated throughout the bouquet will look more elegant than having a random assortment of blooms. You can choose any flowers you like, but make sure the stems are at least 6 in (15 cm) long to ensure they'll be long enough to reach the bouquet holder.
Roses are a common option for a wedding bouquet, especially white or red roses. Other popular options include stargazer lilies, peonies, anemones, ranunculus, dahlias, and hydrangeas. It's up to you whether you want to use all the same color of your primary bloom, or if you want an assortment of shades!
To narrow down your options, look at a picture of each flower and think about how each one would look against your dress. For example, if you have a very simple gown, an ornate flower like a hydrangea could provide a pretty contrast.
On the other hand, you could choose a flower with special significance to you, like the first flower your fiance ever gave you or a bloom that reminds you of a loved one.
1-2. Add 10-12 stems of smaller accent flowers.
You’ll need to tuck smaller flowers around the primary blooms in order to make your bouquet look full. You can choose 1 accent flower, or you can use more than one kind of flower if you want an even more diverse bouquet. However, just as with your primary blooms, look for flowers with stems that are at least 6 in (15 cm).
Good options for accent flowers include calla lilies, lavender, spray roses, hypericum, and orchids.
You can choose accent blooms that are the same color as your primary flower for a monochrome look, or you can choose a coordinating color to add contrast to your bouquet. You can even use multiple colors of accent blooms if you want!
1-3. Select 8-10 long sprays of greenery.
Your greenery will be used to shape the cascade bouquet, so you’ll need several long pieces that will drape from the center of the bouquet as far down as you want the bouquet to reach. For an average-sized cascade bouquet, about 8–10 in (20–25 cm) will be long enough, but if you want a dramatically long cascade, you may want it to be even longer than that.
Myrtle, ivy, silver sage, spirea, lemon leaf, and eucalyptus are all popular options, but you can use any greenery that’s in season!
1-4. Find a delicate filler like baby's breath or ferns to close any gaps.
Since you’ll be creating your cascade bouquet on a form, you may need to use small, delicate sprays to fill in any gaps. After all, you want the focus to be on your bouquet, not on the holder underneath it.
Baby’s breath is a perfect filler, since it’s so delicate that it won’t detract from your primary blooms, but you can also use any other small flowers, ferns, or additional greenery. Other filler flowers include snapdragons, silver ragwort, poms, delphinium, and Queen Anne's lace.
2. Creating the Cascade Shape
2-1. Submerge a bouquet holder in warm water.
A bouquet holder looks almost like a microphone, with a long handle and a round area on top where you insert the flowers. Before you arrange your bouquet, place the top of holder upside-down in a pitcher or bowl of warm water for about a minute. The top of the bouquet holder, which is called the “oasis,” typically has foam inside, which absorbs water to keep the flowers fresh.
Place the holder gently into the water and let it sink. Don’t push it down into the water, or air bubbles could form inside the oasis, preventing the water from reaching the flowers.
You can find these bouquet holders wherever craft or floral supplies are sold.
2-2. Place the bouquet holder in a heavy ceramic vase.
Once you’ve filled the oasis, lift the holder straight out of the water, turn it right-side-up, and transfer it to a vase to keep it secure. You’ll need your hands free to work with the flowers, so make sure you use a heavy vase with a secure base that won’t tip over while you’re creating your bouquet.
If you have a stand for your bouquet holder, you can use that instead.
Add rocks or marbles to the bottom of the vase if it isn’t heavy enough.
2-3. Insert the 2 longest greenery stems into the bottom of the holder.
Start by putting your 2 longest pieces of greenery in the bottom front of the bouquet holder. With the tips of the greenery pointing down, push the bottom of the stems into the gaps or foam in the holder until they feel like they’re securely in place. Then, add the rest of your greenery, cutting it if necessary so it’s shorter at the top and longer at the bottom.
You want the effect here to look as if the greenery is spilling out all the way around your hand, but if it’s too long on the top, it will be difficult for you to hold the bouquet.
2-4. Fill in more greenery around the top and sides of the holder.
To make the bouquet look symmetrical, you may need to have a few short pieces of greenery around the circumference of the holder, as well as sticking up from the top back of the bouquet holder. Imagine creating an upside-down teardrop shape that’s rounded at the top and full on the sides, then comes to a narrow point at the bottom.
The length of the greenery on the top and sides will depend on the size of the bouquet you want to create and how far you want the greenery to extend, but it should be just a little shorter than your flowers, unless you have a few pieces you want to showcase.
3. Adding the Flowers
3-1. Start by arranging your primary blooms.
Place your largest, prettiest flowers in the center of your arrangement as the focal point, then work the remaining flowers all the way around the bouquet holder. Arrange the top flowers so they’re pointing straight up, the blooms around the circumference of the holder so they’re horizontal, and the longest, cascading stems so they’re pointing downward.
As you’re arranging the flowers, alternate putting a few on the top, then a few on the sides, and so on. This causes the stems to interlock in a grid pattern, which will help prevent the flowers from falling out of your bouquet.
Space each type of flower evenly throughout the bouquet. If it isn’t symmetrical, it won’t create the effect that the flowers are cascading down.
3-2. Trim your flower stems so the shortest go on top and the longest go on bottom.
As you start to arrange your bouquet, use a sharp pair of floral shears to trim each stem to the length you want it to be. The stems on the bottom of your bouquet should be the longest, with medium-length stems in the middle of the arrangement, and the shortest blooms on top.
The length of the stems will depend on the size of the bouquet you’re creating, but they’ll likely only need to be about 2–3 in (5.1–7.6 cm) at the top, whereas you may not need to trim the stems on the bottom at all.
It’s best to trim your flowers one at a time as you place them in the arrangement so you can customize your bouquet.
When you’re trimming the stems, try to cut the flowers on the top and middle so they’ll extend slightly past the greenery.
Cut thicker stems at an angle so they'll be easy to insert into the bouquet holder.
3-3. Add your accent flowers around your primary blooms.
Now that you have your greenery and primary blooms arranged, you can start filling in the body of your bouquet with the accent flowers that you chose. Continue alternating between adding flowers to the top and sides of the bouquet, criss-crossing the stems to secure them.
Don’t worry about making the bouquet look perfectly full just yet; it’s more important that you space your accent flowers evenly throughout the bouquet.
3-4. Fill in any remaining gaps with baby’s breath or greenery.
Look at the bouquet from the top, front, and sides, and use your filler to completely cover up any gaps that are left. Depending on the size of the blooms you used and how closely they’re arranged, you may only need a few sprigs, or you may need to tuck small sprays throughout the entire bouquet to fill it out.
Baby’s breath is inexpensive and delicate, so buy more than you think you’ll need just in case your bouquet doesn’t look as full as you’d like when you’re finished.
Not only will this ensure the bouquet holder isn’t visible in your wedding photographs, but it also helps secure the grid you made that’s holding the larger stems in place.
3-5. Keep your flowers in a cool place overnight or until you need them.
It's best to assemble your bouquet no more than 1 day before you'll need it. If you have a floral cooler, you can keep your bouquet there, but if not, you'll need to find a cool place away from direct sunlight where your flowers won't be disturbed, like a shaded, out-of-the-way corner in a cool bedroom.
3-6.
Don't place your bouquet in a regular refrigerator. The moisture will cause the flowers to wilt.
If you need to make your bouquet more than 1 day ahead of time, either choose hearty flowers like posies, lilies, and succulents, or opt for artificial flowers.
Be sure to change the water in the vase every day to keep your flowers looking fresh. You can also use a turkey baster to add 1 drop of bleach to the water to kill any bacteria and slow down the decomposition process.
Tips
If you’d like, you can wrap the handle of your bouquet holder in ribbon to make it look more elegant.
You can even use artificial flowers to save more!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing Your Flowers\\n1-1. Choose about 15-18 stems of a long-stemmed flower for your bouquet.\\nHaving one main flower repeated throughout the bouquet will look more elegant than having a random assortment of blooms. You can choose any flowers you like, but make sure the stems are at least 6 in (15 cm) long to ensure they'll be long enough to reach the bouquet holder.\\nRoses are a common option for a wedding bouquet, especially white or red roses. Other popular options include stargazer lilies, peonies, anemones, ranunculus, dahlias, and hydrangeas. It's up to you whether you want to use all the same color of your primary bloom, or if you want an assortment of shades!\\nTo narrow down your options, look at a picture of each flower and think about how each one would look against your dress. For example, if you have a very simple gown, an ornate flower like a hydrangea could provide a pretty contrast.\\nOn the other hand, you could choose a flower with special significance to you, like the first flower your fiance ever gave you or a bloom that reminds you of a loved one.\\n1-2. Add 10-12 stems of smaller accent flowers.\\nYou’ll need to tuck smaller flowers around the primary blooms in order to make your bouquet look full. You can choose 1 accent flower, or you can use more than one kind of flower if you want an even more diverse bouquet. However, just as with your primary blooms, look for flowers with stems that are at least 6 in (15 cm).\\nGood options for accent flowers include calla lilies, lavender, spray roses, hypericum, and orchids.\\nYou can choose accent blooms that are the same color as your primary flower for a monochrome look, or you can choose a coordinating color to add contrast to your bouquet. You can even use multiple colors of accent blooms if you want!\\n1-3. Select 8-10 long sprays of greenery.\\nYour greenery will be used to shape the cascade bouquet, so you’ll need several long pieces that will drape from the center of the bouquet as far down as you want the bouquet to reach. For an average-sized cascade bouquet, about 8–10 in (20–25 cm) will be long enough, but if you want a dramatically long cascade, you may want it to be even longer than that.\\nMyrtle, ivy, silver sage, spirea, lemon leaf, and eucalyptus are all popular options, but you can use any greenery that’s in season!\\n1-4. Find a delicate filler like baby's breath or ferns to close any gaps.\\nSince you’ll be creating your cascade bouquet on a form, you may need to use small, delicate sprays to fill in any gaps. After all, you want the focus to be on your bouquet, not on the holder underneath it.\\nBaby’s breath is a perfect filler, since it’s so delicate that it won’t detract from your primary blooms, but you can also use any other small flowers, ferns, or additional greenery. Other filler flowers include snapdragons, silver ragwort, poms, delphinium, and Queen Anne's lace.\\n2. Creating the Cascade Shape\\n2-1. Submerge a bouquet holder in warm water.\\nA bouquet holder looks almost like a microphone, with a long handle and a round area on top where you insert the flowers. Before you arrange your bouquet, place the top of holder upside-down in a pitcher or bowl of warm water for about a minute. The top of the bouquet holder, which is called the “oasis,” typically has foam inside, which absorbs water to keep the flowers fresh.\\nPlace the holder gently into the water and let it sink. Don’t push it down into the water, or air bubbles could form inside the oasis, preventing the water from reaching the flowers.\\nYou can find these bouquet holders wherever craft or floral supplies are sold.\\n2-2. Place the bouquet holder in a heavy ceramic vase.\\nOnce you’ve filled the oasis, lift the holder straight out of the water, turn it right-side-up, and transfer it to a vase to keep it secure. You’ll need your hands free to work with the flowers, so make sure you use a heavy vase with a secure base that won’t tip over while you’re creating your bouquet.\\nIf you have a stand for your bouquet holder, you can use that instead.\\nAdd rocks or marbles to the bottom of the vase if it isn’t heavy enough.\\n2-3. Insert the 2 longest greenery stems into the bottom of the holder.\\nStart by putting your 2 longest pieces of greenery in the bottom front of the bouquet holder. With the tips of the greenery pointing down, push the bottom of the stems into the gaps or foam in the holder until they feel like they’re securely in place. Then, add the rest of your greenery, cutting it if necessary so it’s shorter at the top and longer at the bottom.\\nYou want the effect here to look as if the greenery is spilling out all the way around your hand, but if it’s too long on the top, it will be difficult for you to hold the bouquet.\\n2-4. Fill in more greenery around the top and sides of the holder.\\nTo make the bouquet look symmetrical, you may need to have a few short pieces of greenery around the circumference of the holder, as well as sticking up from the top back of the bouquet holder. Imagine creating an upside-down teardrop shape that’s rounded at the top and full on the sides, then comes to a narrow point at the bottom.\\nThe length of the greenery on the top and sides will depend on the size of the bouquet you want to create and how far you want the greenery to extend, but it should be just a little shorter than your flowers, unless you have a few pieces you want to showcase.\\n3. Adding the Flowers\\n3-1. Start by arranging your primary blooms.\\nPlace your largest, prettiest flowers in the center of your arrangement as the focal point, then work the remaining flowers all the way around the bouquet holder. Arrange the top flowers so they’re pointing straight up, the blooms around the circumference of the holder so they’re horizontal, and the longest, cascading stems so they’re pointing downward.\\nAs you’re arranging the flowers, alternate putting a few on the top, then a few on the sides, and so on. This causes the stems to interlock in a grid pattern, which will help prevent the flowers from falling out of your bouquet.\\nSpace each type of flower evenly throughout the bouquet. If it isn’t symmetrical, it won’t create the effect that the flowers are cascading down.\\n3-2. Trim your flower stems so the shortest go on top and the longest go on bottom.\\nAs you start to arrange your bouquet, use a sharp pair of floral shears to trim each stem to the length you want it to be. The stems on the bottom of your bouquet should be the longest, with medium-length stems in the middle of the arrangement, and the shortest blooms on top.\\nThe length of the stems will depend on the size of the bouquet you’re creating, but they’ll likely only need to be about 2–3 in (5.1–7.6 cm) at the top, whereas you may not need to trim the stems on the bottom at all.\\nIt’s best to trim your flowers one at a time as you place them in the arrangement so you can customize your bouquet.\\nWhen you’re trimming the stems, try to cut the flowers on the top and middle so they’ll extend slightly past the greenery.\\nCut thicker stems at an angle so they'll be easy to insert into the bouquet holder.\\n3-3. Add your accent flowers around your primary blooms.\\nNow that you have your greenery and primary blooms arranged, you can start filling in the body of your bouquet with the accent flowers that you chose. Continue alternating between adding flowers to the top and sides of the bouquet, criss-crossing the stems to secure them.\\nDon’t worry about making the bouquet look perfectly full just yet; it’s more important that you space your accent flowers evenly throughout the bouquet.\\n3-4. Fill in any remaining gaps with baby’s breath or greenery.\\nLook at the bouquet from the top, front, and sides, and use your filler to completely cover up any gaps that are left. Depending on the size of the blooms you used and how closely they’re arranged, you may only need a few sprigs, or you may need to tuck small sprays throughout the entire bouquet to fill it out.\\nBaby’s breath is inexpensive and delicate, so buy more than you think you’ll need just in case your bouquet doesn’t look as full as you’d like when you’re finished.\\nNot only will this ensure the bouquet holder isn’t visible in your wedding photographs, but it also helps secure the grid you made that’s holding the larger stems in place.\\n3-5. Keep your flowers in a cool place overnight or until you need them.\\nIt's best to assemble your bouquet no more than 1 day before you'll need it. If you have a floral cooler, you can keep your bouquet there, but if not, you'll need to find a cool place away from direct sunlight where your flowers won't be disturbed, like a shaded, out-of-the-way corner in a cool bedroom.\\n3-6. \\nDon't place your bouquet in a regular refrigerator. The moisture will cause the flowers to wilt.\\nIf you need to make your bouquet more than 1 day ahead of time, either choose hearty flowers like posies, lilies, and succulents, or opt for artificial flowers.\\nBe sure to change the water in the vase every day to keep your flowers looking fresh. You can also use a turkey baster to add 1 drop of bleach to the water to kill any bacteria and slow down the decomposition process.\\nTips\\nIf you’d like, you can wrap the handle of your bouquet holder in ribbon to make it look more elegant.\\nYou can even use artificial flowers to save more!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A cascading flower arrangement is dramatic and beautiful, making it perfect for a bridal bouquet. However, buying your bouquet can be expensive, especially if you want a lush design. Fortunately, making your own cascading bouquet is relatively easy, and it can be a great way to save a little on your wedding budget. All you’ll need are a bouquet holder and an assortment of greenery and flowers.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing Your Flowers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose about 15-18 stems of a long-stemmed flower for your bouquet.\", \"描述\": \"Having one main flower repeated throughout the bouquet will look more elegant than having a random assortment of blooms. You can choose any flowers you like, but make sure the stems are at least 6 in (15 cm) long to ensure they'll be long enough to reach the bouquet holder.\\nRoses are a common option for a wedding bouquet, especially white or red roses. Other popular options include stargazer lilies, peonies, anemones, ranunculus, dahlias, and hydrangeas. It's up to you whether you want to use all the same color of your primary bloom, or if you want an assortment of shades!\\nTo narrow down your options, look at a picture of each flower and think about how each one would look against your dress. For example, if you have a very simple gown, an ornate flower like a hydrangea could provide a pretty contrast.\\nOn the other hand, you could choose a flower with special significance to you, like the first flower your fiance ever gave you or a bloom that reminds you of a loved one.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Add 10-12 stems of smaller accent flowers.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll need to tuck smaller flowers around the primary blooms in order to make your bouquet look full. You can choose 1 accent flower, or you can use more than one kind of flower if you want an even more diverse bouquet. However, just as with your primary blooms, look for flowers with stems that are at least 6 in (15 cm).\\nGood options for accent flowers include calla lilies, lavender, spray roses, hypericum, and orchids.\\nYou can choose accent blooms that are the same color as your primary flower for a monochrome look, or you can choose a coordinating color to add contrast to your bouquet. You can even use multiple colors of accent blooms if you want!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select 8-10 long sprays of greenery.\", \"描述\": \"Your greenery will be used to shape the cascade bouquet, so you’ll need several long pieces that will drape from the center of the bouquet as far down as you want the bouquet to reach. For an average-sized cascade bouquet, about 8–10 in (20–25 cm) will be long enough, but if you want a dramatically long cascade, you may want it to be even longer than that.\\nMyrtle, ivy, silver sage, spirea, lemon leaf, and eucalyptus are all popular options, but you can use any greenery that’s in season!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find a delicate filler like baby's breath or ferns to close any gaps.\", \"描述\": \"Since you’ll be creating your cascade bouquet on a form, you may need to use small, delicate sprays to fill in any gaps. After all, you want the focus to be on your bouquet, not on the holder underneath it.\\nBaby’s breath is a perfect filler, since it’s so delicate that it won’t detract from your primary blooms, but you can also use any other small flowers, ferns, or additional greenery. Other filler flowers include snapdragons, silver ragwort, poms, delphinium, and Queen Anne's lace.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating the Cascade Shape\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Submerge a bouquet holder in warm water.\", \"描述\": \"A bouquet holder looks almost like a microphone, with a long handle and a round area on top where you insert the flowers. Before you arrange your bouquet, place the top of holder upside-down in a pitcher or bowl of warm water for about a minute. The top of the bouquet holder, which is called the “oasis,” typically has foam inside, which absorbs water to keep the flowers fresh.\\nPlace the holder gently into the water and let it sink. Don’t push it down into the water, or air bubbles could form inside the oasis, preventing the water from reaching the flowers.\\nYou can find these bouquet holders wherever craft or floral supplies are sold.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Place the bouquet holder in a heavy ceramic vase.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve filled the oasis, lift the holder straight out of the water, turn it right-side-up, and transfer it to a vase to keep it secure. You’ll need your hands free to work with the flowers, so make sure you use a heavy vase with a secure base that won’t tip over while you’re creating your bouquet.\\nIf you have a stand for your bouquet holder, you can use that instead.\\nAdd rocks or marbles to the bottom of the vase if it isn’t heavy enough.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Insert the 2 longest greenery stems into the bottom of the holder.\", \"描述\": \"Start by putting your 2 longest pieces of greenery in the bottom front of the bouquet holder. With the tips of the greenery pointing down, push the bottom of the stems into the gaps or foam in the holder until they feel like they’re securely in place. Then, add the rest of your greenery, cutting it if necessary so it’s shorter at the top and longer at the bottom.\\nYou want the effect here to look as if the greenery is spilling out all the way around your hand, but if it’s too long on the top, it will be difficult for you to hold the bouquet.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill in more greenery around the top and sides of the holder.\", \"描述\": \"To make the bouquet look symmetrical, you may need to have a few short pieces of greenery around the circumference of the holder, as well as sticking up from the top back of the bouquet holder. Imagine creating an upside-down teardrop shape that’s rounded at the top and full on the sides, then comes to a narrow point at the bottom.\\nThe length of the greenery on the top and sides will depend on the size of the bouquet you want to create and how far you want the greenery to extend, but it should be just a little shorter than your flowers, unless you have a few pieces you want to showcase.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Adding the Flowers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start by arranging your primary blooms.\", \"描述\": \"Place your largest, prettiest flowers in the center of your arrangement as the focal point, then work the remaining flowers all the way around the bouquet holder. Arrange the top flowers so they’re pointing straight up, the blooms around the circumference of the holder so they’re horizontal, and the longest, cascading stems so they’re pointing downward.\\nAs you’re arranging the flowers, alternate putting a few on the top, then a few on the sides, and so on. This causes the stems to interlock in a grid pattern, which will help prevent the flowers from falling out of your bouquet.\\nSpace each type of flower evenly throughout the bouquet. If it isn’t symmetrical, it won’t create the effect that the flowers are cascading down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Trim your flower stems so the shortest go on top and the longest go on bottom.\", \"描述\": \"As you start to arrange your bouquet, use a sharp pair of floral shears to trim each stem to the length you want it to be. The stems on the bottom of your bouquet should be the longest, with medium-length stems in the middle of the arrangement, and the shortest blooms on top.\\nThe length of the stems will depend on the size of the bouquet you’re creating, but they’ll likely only need to be about 2–3 in (5.1–7.6 cm) at the top, whereas you may not need to trim the stems on the bottom at all.\\nIt’s best to trim your flowers one at a time as you place them in the arrangement so you can customize your bouquet.\\nWhen you’re trimming the stems, try to cut the flowers on the top and middle so they’ll extend slightly past the greenery.\\nCut thicker stems at an angle so they'll be easy to insert into the bouquet holder.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Add your accent flowers around your primary blooms.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you have your greenery and primary blooms arranged, you can start filling in the body of your bouquet with the accent flowers that you chose. Continue alternating between adding flowers to the top and sides of the bouquet, criss-crossing the stems to secure them.\\nDon’t worry about making the bouquet look perfectly full just yet; it’s more important that you space your accent flowers evenly throughout the bouquet.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill in any remaining gaps with baby’s breath or greenery.\", \"描述\": \"Look at the bouquet from the top, front, and sides, and use your filler to completely cover up any gaps that are left. Depending on the size of the blooms you used and how closely they’re arranged, you may only need a few sprigs, or you may need to tuck small sprays throughout the entire bouquet to fill it out.\\nBaby’s breath is inexpensive and delicate, so buy more than you think you’ll need just in case your bouquet doesn’t look as full as you’d like when you’re finished.\\nNot only will this ensure the bouquet holder isn’t visible in your wedding photographs, but it also helps secure the grid you made that’s holding the larger stems in place.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your flowers in a cool place overnight or until you need them.\", \"描述\": \"It's best to assemble your bouquet no more than 1 day before you'll need it. If you have a floral cooler, you can keep your bouquet there, but if not, you'll need to find a cool place away from direct sunlight where your flowers won't be disturbed, like a shaded, out-of-the-way corner in a cool bedroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"Don't place your bouquet in a regular refrigerator. The moisture will cause the flowers to wilt.\\nIf you need to make your bouquet more than 1 day ahead of time, either choose hearty flowers like posies, lilies, and succulents, or opt for artificial flowers.\\nBe sure to change the water in the vase every day to keep your flowers looking fresh. You can also use a turkey baster to add 1 drop of bleach to the water to kill any bacteria and slow down the decomposition process.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’d like, you can wrap the handle of your bouquet holder in ribbon to make it look more elegant.\\n\", \"You can even use artificial flowers to save more!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,421 | How to Arrange a Courier Pick Up | 1. Selecting a Courier Service
1-1. Prepare your package for courier pickup.
Select an appropriate-sized box or envelope and place your item inside. Make sure if you're sending something fragile that your packaging is cushioned and your item is secure. Once you have your item or items in the appropriate package, seal the parcel with packaging tape.
Depending on where you are located, there are some restrictions on what you can and cannot mail. Items such as explosives, gasoline, aerosol, and ammunition are normally prohibited. Check the website of the national postal service in your country to ensure you are not mailing something that is prohibited.
1-2. Measure the parcel you'd like to send.
Carefully measure the length, width, and height of the box. If you have a kitchen scale, it will also be helpful to weigh the parcel as well. This will help you get a good idea of how much you can expect to pay for courier service. Many courier sites will ask you to input the parcel's dimensions and estimated weight when you book the pickup.
If in doubt, overestimate. This will help you avoid additional charges later on.
1-3. Search for courier services that pick up near you.
Some courier services only work within specific areas or countries. Many work internationally. To get the most accurate results, do a search of your city or town name and the words “courier service.” This should yield a number of companies that provide service to your area.
You should also check the delivery address to ensure that the courier service will deliver to that location. Most websites will have an address checker tool.
1-4. Compare prices for shipping your parcel at different companies.
Narrow your search by looking at the prices listed for courier service based on the dimensions that you measured for your parcel. Compare different companies and see how their prices differ for the size package that you have.
You should also consider the type of parcel being sent and if it has any requirements such as temperature or extra care when delivering, as these can incur added fees.
1-5. Check the pickup hours and delivery options offered by the courier.
The service will likely require you to be present for pickup, so you will want to make sure you can be home during the hours specified. You might also look at any time guarantees that they might make, especially if you are working within a time frame.
Some courier services offer drop off locations. This might work best for you if you are not able to be at home during the day for pick up.
2. Booking Your Pickup
2-1. Create an account with your chosen service.
This process will vary by website, but will normally require you to input some information. You will likely be asked to enter your name, address, phone number, email address, and some form of payment information. This will make the process of arranging a pickup much easier.
2-2. Select a location for pickup.
If you would like the package picked up from your house, simply use your home address. However, if you are working from another location, make sure you carefully enter the address to avoid any confusion. Some couriers will allow you to select a time, but many places give you a window of time that your package will be picked up within.
Depending on the location you are sending the package to and the time frame it will take to get the package there, the price will vary. Make sure to check the price once more before booking a pickup time.
2-3. Pay for and print your label.
Once you have selected a location, you can confirm your pickup and pay. This will generate a label for your parcel that you can either print out and affix to the packaging, or simply copy the label information onto the package in clear handwriting using a marker.
2-4. Wait for collection by a courier.
The courier should arrive during the time allotted by the company. Be patient and make sure you are home during this time. If your courier is late or doesn't show up, call the customer service number provided on the company website or in your confirmation email.
2-5. Track your parcel.
Once your parcel is picked up, you should receive an email for tracking or be able to use your confirmation number provided. This will let you see where your package is located from pickup to delivery at any point.
If at any point you see that your package is delayed, or if it gets delivered incorrectly, tracking the package can help you ensure that the problem is dealt with quickly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Selecting a Courier Service\\n1-1. Prepare your package for courier pickup.\\nSelect an appropriate-sized box or envelope and place your item inside. Make sure if you're sending something fragile that your packaging is cushioned and your item is secure. Once you have your item or items in the appropriate package, seal the parcel with packaging tape.\\nDepending on where you are located, there are some restrictions on what you can and cannot mail. Items such as explosives, gasoline, aerosol, and ammunition are normally prohibited. Check the website of the national postal service in your country to ensure you are not mailing something that is prohibited.\\n1-2. Measure the parcel you'd like to send.\\nCarefully measure the length, width, and height of the box. If you have a kitchen scale, it will also be helpful to weigh the parcel as well. This will help you get a good idea of how much you can expect to pay for courier service. Many courier sites will ask you to input the parcel's dimensions and estimated weight when you book the pickup.\\nIf in doubt, overestimate. This will help you avoid additional charges later on.\\n1-3. Search for courier services that pick up near you.\\nSome courier services only work within specific areas or countries. Many work internationally. To get the most accurate results, do a search of your city or town name and the words “courier service.” This should yield a number of companies that provide service to your area.\\nYou should also check the delivery address to ensure that the courier service will deliver to that location. Most websites will have an address checker tool.\\n1-4. Compare prices for shipping your parcel at different companies.\\nNarrow your search by looking at the prices listed for courier service based on the dimensions that you measured for your parcel. Compare different companies and see how their prices differ for the size package that you have.\\nYou should also consider the type of parcel being sent and if it has any requirements such as temperature or extra care when delivering, as these can incur added fees.\\n1-5. Check the pickup hours and delivery options offered by the courier.\\nThe service will likely require you to be present for pickup, so you will want to make sure you can be home during the hours specified. You might also look at any time guarantees that they might make, especially if you are working within a time frame.\\nSome courier services offer drop off locations. This might work best for you if you are not able to be at home during the day for pick up.\\n2. Booking Your Pickup\\n2-1. Create an account with your chosen service.\\nThis process will vary by website, but will normally require you to input some information. You will likely be asked to enter your name, address, phone number, email address, and some form of payment information. This will make the process of arranging a pickup much easier.\\n2-2. Select a location for pickup.\\nIf you would like the package picked up from your house, simply use your home address. However, if you are working from another location, make sure you carefully enter the address to avoid any confusion. Some couriers will allow you to select a time, but many places give you a window of time that your package will be picked up within.\\nDepending on the location you are sending the package to and the time frame it will take to get the package there, the price will vary. Make sure to check the price once more before booking a pickup time.\\n2-3. Pay for and print your label.\\nOnce you have selected a location, you can confirm your pickup and pay. This will generate a label for your parcel that you can either print out and affix to the packaging, or simply copy the label information onto the package in clear handwriting using a marker.\\n2-4. Wait for collection by a courier.\\nThe courier should arrive during the time allotted by the company. Be patient and make sure you are home during this time. If your courier is late or doesn't show up, call the customer service number provided on the company website or in your confirmation email.\\n2-5. Track your parcel.\\nOnce your parcel is picked up, you should receive an email for tracking or be able to use your confirmation number provided. This will let you see where your package is located from pickup to delivery at any point.\\nIf at any point you see that your package is delayed, or if it gets delivered incorrectly, tracking the package can help you ensure that the problem is dealt with quickly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Courier services provide fast pickup and delivery services, so they're great if you quick, secure transportation for high-value goods or urgent documents. In order to use a courier, you must schedule a collection time for a representative from the company to pick up your parcel. We'll help you prepare your shipment ahead of time to ensure that pickup and delivery go as smoothly as possible.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Selecting a Courier Service\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare your package for courier pickup.\", \"描述\": \"Select an appropriate-sized box or envelope and place your item inside. Make sure if you're sending something fragile that your packaging is cushioned and your item is secure. Once you have your item or items in the appropriate package, seal the parcel with packaging tape.\\nDepending on where you are located, there are some restrictions on what you can and cannot mail. Items such as explosives, gasoline, aerosol, and ammunition are normally prohibited. Check the website of the national postal service in your country to ensure you are not mailing something that is prohibited.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Measure the parcel you'd like to send.\", \"描述\": \"Carefully measure the length, width, and height of the box. If you have a kitchen scale, it will also be helpful to weigh the parcel as well. This will help you get a good idea of how much you can expect to pay for courier service. Many courier sites will ask you to input the parcel's dimensions and estimated weight when you book the pickup.\\nIf in doubt, overestimate. This will help you avoid additional charges later on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search for courier services that pick up near you.\", \"描述\": \"Some courier services only work within specific areas or countries. Many work internationally. To get the most accurate results, do a search of your city or town name and the words “courier service.” This should yield a number of companies that provide service to your area.\\nYou should also check the delivery address to ensure that the courier service will deliver to that location. Most websites will have an address checker tool.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Compare prices for shipping your parcel at different companies.\", \"描述\": \"Narrow your search by looking at the prices listed for courier service based on the dimensions that you measured for your parcel. Compare different companies and see how their prices differ for the size package that you have.\\nYou should also consider the type of parcel being sent and if it has any requirements such as temperature or extra care when delivering, as these can incur added fees.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check the pickup hours and delivery options offered by the courier.\", \"描述\": \"The service will likely require you to be present for pickup, so you will want to make sure you can be home during the hours specified. You might also look at any time guarantees that they might make, especially if you are working within a time frame.\\nSome courier services offer drop off locations. This might work best for you if you are not able to be at home during the day for pick up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Booking Your Pickup\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create an account with your chosen service.\", \"描述\": \"This process will vary by website, but will normally require you to input some information. You will likely be asked to enter your name, address, phone number, email address, and some form of payment information. This will make the process of arranging a pickup much easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Select a location for pickup.\", \"描述\": \"If you would like the package picked up from your house, simply use your home address. However, if you are working from another location, make sure you carefully enter the address to avoid any confusion. Some couriers will allow you to select a time, but many places give you a window of time that your package will be picked up within.\\nDepending on the location you are sending the package to and the time frame it will take to get the package there, the price will vary. Make sure to check the price once more before booking a pickup time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay for and print your label.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have selected a location, you can confirm your pickup and pay. This will generate a label for your parcel that you can either print out and affix to the packaging, or simply copy the label information onto the package in clear handwriting using a marker.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wait for collection by a courier.\", \"描述\": \"The courier should arrive during the time allotted by the company. Be patient and make sure you are home during this time. If your courier is late or doesn't show up, call the customer service number provided on the company website or in your confirmation email.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Track your parcel.\", \"描述\": \"Once your parcel is picked up, you should receive an email for tracking or be able to use your confirmation number provided. This will let you see where your package is located from pickup to delivery at any point.\\nIf at any point you see that your package is delayed, or if it gets delivered incorrectly, tracking the package can help you ensure that the problem is dealt with quickly.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,422 | How to Arrange a Dozen Roses in a Vase | 1. Steps
1-1. Fill your vase 3/4 full with tepid water.
To improve the longevity of the roses, mix an additive for cut flowers into the water. The warmer the water, the faster the roses will open. Colored roses open much faster than red roses, which have been treated to open more slowly.
1-2. Arrange the greens by holding your one tall green in middle of your hand and work around the edges building a hand held look with your greens.
Trim off bottom of greens and place in vase. The greens should be resting on edge of vase with a secure feeling. If the greens are loose, your arrangement will not work. If you need to add a few more pieces of green to this mixture to fill in, do so now. This should take about a half bunch of leather-leaf fern for an arrangement of a dozen roses.
1-3. Pick your tallest, straightest, tightest closed rose for your first placement.
It should be 1 to 1 1/2 times again as tall as your vase. This will set the height and width of your arrangement, so keep that in mind. Submerge the stem in tepid water and then snip the stem at an angle, to bring the rose to the perfect height. Place it in the center hole of your grid.
Roses have hard stems, so you will need a good pair of shears or clippers to cut them. Kitchen scissors are not a good option!
Cutting at an angle creates a larger surface area for the flower to drink water.
1-4. Select your next 5 roses based on tightness of head, height, and straightness of stem.
Remove any large thorns before inserting roses into greens. Hold the roses up to the vase until the top of the heads of these 5 roses reach the bottom of the head of the first rose you placed in the vase. Snip all 5 the same length, at an angle, where they will be high enough to stand at the measured height. Place them in aiming towards the center rose making sure they are an equal space apart.
1-5. Measure the six remaining roses to be about 4 to 6 inches (10.2 to 15.2 cm) shorter than your tallest rose.
The roses will land the same distance from the bottom of the top rose and the top of the vase. Cut all the same length at an angle.
1-6. Fill between the five roses aiming towards the bottom of the vase, so roses will be seen from every angle around the vase, once the arrangement is complete.
Each rose may not stay in the exact place you want it at this point; that, too, is okay.
1-7. Pick the prettiest, fullest, most open rose to be the center of the front of your arrangement.
Even though it will be arranged "all around", you will have a front. You can even snip this rose a little shorter and put it back in, if you wish, as it will be your focal point, and should be the lowest rose toward the vase.
1-8. Fill in the holes with the filler flowers.
Divide your filler and make sure you fill in all around the vase pretty much equally. You do not want filler in every spot; this will make it too round and full. You will want air space there and the color is evenly distributed. Pay extra attention to your focal flower that you placed lower in the front. The filler flower will frame and accentuate your other flowers, and should always be lower and deeper in your arrangement than your main flower, the rose.
1-9. Move away from the arrangement and squint your eyes to make sure you do not see any "holes" that need a little color.
Look at your arrangement from the level that it will be placed. If it is going on a 3' tall table, look at it from that view, you will see more of the top than the bottom, so your focus should be that way. If you will be seated around it, look at it from a seated position, from every angle, if it will be up high, make sure it looks good from the bottom.
1-10. Fill in with extra greenery to make sure no mechanics (tape, rose stems, etc.
) are showing, making sure to leave airholes.
1-11. Enjoy your arrangement!
Tips
Stem bottoms dry up almost instantly and will draw up air bubbles, so get your flowers into water as soon as possible.
Cut stems on a downward angle about one inch up from the bottom, or above where stem is discolored.
If you are not going to need your arrangement for a couple of days, but have your flowers early, they should be refrigerated to make them last longer. Foods and fruits release ethylene gas, which kills flowers, so they should not spend much time in a cooler with food, but would be better in a cool dark place, in cool water.
Warnings
Be careful not to get bleach on clothing.
Some flowers and plants/greenery are poisonous, so be careful around pets and children.
Watch out for the thorns on the stems of the roses!
For longer flower life, do not place your arrangement on top of the TV, a warm location, where sunlight will be on it for several hours during the day, or directly in front of a fan, heater, or air-conditioner.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Fill your vase 3/4 full with tepid water.\\nTo improve the longevity of the roses, mix an additive for cut flowers into the water. The warmer the water, the faster the roses will open. Colored roses open much faster than red roses, which have been treated to open more slowly.\\n1-2. Arrange the greens by holding your one tall green in middle of your hand and work around the edges building a hand held look with your greens.\\nTrim off bottom of greens and place in vase. The greens should be resting on edge of vase with a secure feeling. If the greens are loose, your arrangement will not work. If you need to add a few more pieces of green to this mixture to fill in, do so now. This should take about a half bunch of leather-leaf fern for an arrangement of a dozen roses.\\n1-3. Pick your tallest, straightest, tightest closed rose for your first placement.\\nIt should be 1 to 1 1/2 times again as tall as your vase. This will set the height and width of your arrangement, so keep that in mind. Submerge the stem in tepid water and then snip the stem at an angle, to bring the rose to the perfect height. Place it in the center hole of your grid.\\nRoses have hard stems, so you will need a good pair of shears or clippers to cut them. Kitchen scissors are not a good option!\\nCutting at an angle creates a larger surface area for the flower to drink water.\\n1-4. Select your next 5 roses based on tightness of head, height, and straightness of stem.\\nRemove any large thorns before inserting roses into greens. Hold the roses up to the vase until the top of the heads of these 5 roses reach the bottom of the head of the first rose you placed in the vase. Snip all 5 the same length, at an angle, where they will be high enough to stand at the measured height. Place them in aiming towards the center rose making sure they are an equal space apart.\\n1-5. Measure the six remaining roses to be about 4 to 6 inches (10.2 to 15.2 cm) shorter than your tallest rose.\\nThe roses will land the same distance from the bottom of the top rose and the top of the vase. Cut all the same length at an angle.\\n1-6. Fill between the five roses aiming towards the bottom of the vase, so roses will be seen from every angle around the vase, once the arrangement is complete.\\nEach rose may not stay in the exact place you want it at this point; that, too, is okay.\\n1-7. Pick the prettiest, fullest, most open rose to be the center of the front of your arrangement.\\nEven though it will be arranged \\\"all around\\\", you will have a front. You can even snip this rose a little shorter and put it back in, if you wish, as it will be your focal point, and should be the lowest rose toward the vase.\\n1-8. Fill in the holes with the filler flowers.\\nDivide your filler and make sure you fill in all around the vase pretty much equally. You do not want filler in every spot; this will make it too round and full. You will want air space there and the color is evenly distributed. Pay extra attention to your focal flower that you placed lower in the front. The filler flower will frame and accentuate your other flowers, and should always be lower and deeper in your arrangement than your main flower, the rose.\\n1-9. Move away from the arrangement and squint your eyes to make sure you do not see any \\\"holes\\\" that need a little color.\\nLook at your arrangement from the level that it will be placed. If it is going on a 3' tall table, look at it from that view, you will see more of the top than the bottom, so your focus should be that way. If you will be seated around it, look at it from a seated position, from every angle, if it will be up high, make sure it looks good from the bottom.\\n1-10. Fill in with extra greenery to make sure no mechanics (tape, rose stems, etc.\\n) are showing, making sure to leave airholes.\\n1-11. Enjoy your arrangement!\\n\\nTips\\nStem bottoms dry up almost instantly and will draw up air bubbles, so get your flowers into water as soon as possible.\\nCut stems on a downward angle about one inch up from the bottom, or above where stem is discolored.\\nIf you are not going to need your arrangement for a couple of days, but have your flowers early, they should be refrigerated to make them last longer. Foods and fruits release ethylene gas, which kills flowers, so they should not spend much time in a cooler with food, but would be better in a cool dark place, in cool water.\\nWarnings\\nBe careful not to get bleach on clothing.\\nSome flowers and plants/greenery are poisonous, so be careful around pets and children.\\nWatch out for the thorns on the stems of the roses!\\nFor longer flower life, do not place your arrangement on top of the TV, a warm location, where sunlight will be on it for several hours during the day, or directly in front of a fan, heater, or air-conditioner.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You do not need to buy expensive roses from a specialized florist to enjoy a beautifully designed vase of fresh roses. You can easily arrange a dozen roses yourself by buying them at the supermarket and taking the time to arrange them yourself at home.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fill your vase 3/4 full with tepid water.\", \"描述\": \"To improve the longevity of the roses, mix an additive for cut flowers into the water. The warmer the water, the faster the roses will open. Colored roses open much faster than red roses, which have been treated to open more slowly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Arrange the greens by holding your one tall green in middle of your hand and work around the edges building a hand held look with your greens.\", \"描述\": \"Trim off bottom of greens and place in vase. The greens should be resting on edge of vase with a secure feeling. If the greens are loose, your arrangement will not work. If you need to add a few more pieces of green to this mixture to fill in, do so now. This should take about a half bunch of leather-leaf fern for an arrangement of a dozen roses.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pick your tallest, straightest, tightest closed rose for your first placement.\", \"描述\": \"It should be 1 to 1 1/2 times again as tall as your vase. This will set the height and width of your arrangement, so keep that in mind. Submerge the stem in tepid water and then snip the stem at an angle, to bring the rose to the perfect height. Place it in the center hole of your grid.\\nRoses have hard stems, so you will need a good pair of shears or clippers to cut them. Kitchen scissors are not a good option!\\nCutting at an angle creates a larger surface area for the flower to drink water.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select your next 5 roses based on tightness of head, height, and straightness of stem.\", \"描述\": \"Remove any large thorns before inserting roses into greens. Hold the roses up to the vase until the top of the heads of these 5 roses reach the bottom of the head of the first rose you placed in the vase. Snip all 5 the same length, at an angle, where they will be high enough to stand at the measured height. Place them in aiming towards the center rose making sure they are an equal space apart.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Measure the six remaining roses to be about 4 to 6 inches (10.2 to 15.2 cm) shorter than your tallest rose.\", \"描述\": \"The roses will land the same distance from the bottom of the top rose and the top of the vase. Cut all the same length at an angle.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Fill between the five roses aiming towards the bottom of the vase, so roses will be seen from every angle around the vase, once the arrangement is complete.\", \"描述\": \"Each rose may not stay in the exact place you want it at this point; that, too, is okay.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Pick the prettiest, fullest, most open rose to be the center of the front of your arrangement.\", \"描述\": \"Even though it will be arranged \\\"all around\\\", you will have a front. You can even snip this rose a little shorter and put it back in, if you wish, as it will be your focal point, and should be the lowest rose toward the vase.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Fill in the holes with the filler flowers.\", \"描述\": \"Divide your filler and make sure you fill in all around the vase pretty much equally. You do not want filler in every spot; this will make it too round and full. You will want air space there and the color is evenly distributed. Pay extra attention to your focal flower that you placed lower in the front. The filler flower will frame and accentuate your other flowers, and should always be lower and deeper in your arrangement than your main flower, the rose.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Move away from the arrangement and squint your eyes to make sure you do not see any \\\"holes\\\" that need a little color.\", \"描述\": \"Look at your arrangement from the level that it will be placed. If it is going on a 3' tall table, look at it from that view, you will see more of the top than the bottom, so your focus should be that way. If you will be seated around it, look at it from a seated position, from every angle, if it will be up high, make sure it looks good from the bottom.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Fill in with extra greenery to make sure no mechanics (tape, rose stems, etc.\", \"描述\": \") are showing, making sure to leave airholes.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Enjoy your arrangement!\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Stem bottoms dry up almost instantly and will draw up air bubbles, so get your flowers into water as soon as possible.\\n\", \"Cut stems on a downward angle about one inch up from the bottom, or above where stem is discolored.\\n\", \"If you are not going to need your arrangement for a couple of days, but have your flowers early, they should be refrigerated to make them last longer. Foods and fruits release ethylene gas, which kills flowers, so they should not spend much time in a cooler with food, but would be better in a cool dark place, in cool water.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be careful not to get bleach on clothing.\\n\", \"Some flowers and plants/greenery are poisonous, so be careful around pets and children.\\n\", \"Watch out for the thorns on the stems of the roses!\\n\", \"For longer flower life, do not place your arrangement on top of the TV, a warm location, where sunlight will be on it for several hours during the day, or directly in front of a fan, heater, or air-conditioner.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,423 | How to Arrange a Funeral | 1. Reacting Immediately
1-1. Notify the authorities of the death if they don’t know yet.
Alert the deceased’s medical provider or the emergency response service in your area. They’ll legally declare that the deceased has passed, which is needed when obtaining the death certificate.
If this happened in a hospital or another facility, the staff will take care of this for you.
1-2. Call or visit a funeral director to begin planning.
It’s normal to not feel ready for this step, but it’s recommended that you call right away. The director can take care of a lot of the hassle, including setting up the funeral, transportation, and legal paperwork.
Spend some time comparing different funeral homes in your area. In addition to the services they offer, also consider which funeral director makes you feel the most comfortable—caring for the mourners is an important part of their duties.
It’s possible in some areas of the country to arrange the funeral without a director. You may need to wash the deceased, transport them, and arrange for their burial or cremation yourself. Check the laws in your area to see if this is possible.
1-3. Arrange to have the deceased transported to a holding facility.
Hospitals and other facilities require the remains to be removed within hours. The funeral director will arrange this during your first conversation with them. Pick a funeral home or mortuary in the area where the deceased lived.
The funeral home takes care of washing and dressing the deceased and can help you arrange further transportation in case you need to have the funeral somewhere else.
If you need to have the funeral farther away, make use of one of these facilities while you arrange the extra transportation.
2. Hiring a Funeral Director
2-1. Discuss the funeral plans and costs with the director.
After the transportation happens, talk to the director again to plan the funeral. You may do this over the phone, but it helps to visit them in person to go over all your options. There are a lot of choices to make in what may be a difficult time, so you may want a friend or family to come along for support.
Ask the director for a written printout of the costs so you can set up a budget and make changes to the arrangements as necessary.
If you don’t feel capable of leaving home, ask the funeral director if they’ll visit you. Some directors may not be willing to do this, so you’ll need to talk to them over the phone.
2-2. Agree to a payment plan for the funeral director’s services.
Discuss the payment options before signing the contract. Most funeral directors and facilities will allow you to pay in installments over time. They may ask for a deposit up front before proceeding to discuss the arrangements.
Some people who pass away don’t have enough money in their bank account to pay for a funeral. Be aware that you’ll get stuck with the charges, so you may need to simplify the funeral or ask for help.
If you plan on using the deceased’s bank account to pay, remember that the funds will be frozen once the bank is notified of the death. You’ll need to wait for the probate court to release the assets.
2-3. Sign the funeral director’s service contract.
Once you’ve agreed to accept the funeral director's help, they will draw up a contract. Read it carefully and ask any questions you have. Signing the contract means you agree and will be liable for any services the director provides.
2-4. Choose the type of funeral service you want.
The funeral director will also ask you to choose between a burial or cremation. Have the director explain the benefits in each option. No matter what, you will need to arrange for a burial or cremation spot.
You’ll have an opportunity to consider when the funeral should take place. For an immediate service, a direct burial with a graveside service may be the best option.
For religious services, notify the funeral director and the deceased’s place of worship. Both will help make the arrangements according to the tenets of the faith.
2-5. Reserve a burial plot or crematorium service.
The deceased may have a burial plot reserved. Check with the probate court or family members to find out. When they don’t have a spot, you’ll need to contact the cemetery or crematorium to purchase their services.
The funeral director may include these fees in the bill. If not, you’ll need to pay the fees directly to the cemetery or crematorium owners after contacting them.
2-6. Register the death certificate if you aren’t working with a director.
After the passing has been legally documented by a medical professional, you can retrieve an official death certificate needed for burial or cremation. Normally, the funeral director handles the paperwork. When doing it yourself, contact your the registrar or vital statistic office in the area where the deceased lived.
The certificate should be obtained within 5 to 10 days of the passing, but before the funeral takes place.
This certificate is used to report to relevant financial institutions, insurance agencies, and government programs, which you should do as soon as possible.
3. Planning the Funeral Service
3-1. Pick a casket that fits the funeral budget.
Coffins come in various sizes and are mostly made from a variety of woods. Besides for appearances, there’s little difference between the options. The funeral director will ask you right away to select the coffin, but you may also order one online.
In many areas, a shroud is the minimum required to cover the body.
Be aware of religious customs. In a Muslim funeral, for example, the deceased is often wrapped in a shroud.
3-2. Use the deceased’s wishes to plan the funeral.
Visit the probate court clerk's office where the deceased lived to see if they made a will. They may have left instructions in it that you can use to make arranging the funeral easier. Also consider who the deceased was and use your memories to give them a funeral they’d be proud of.
You aren’t required to follow the wishes written in the will, but honoring those requests can make for a positive memorialization.
Think of what the deceased said to you in the past. They might have mentioned what they wanted in a funeral.
For example, if you knew they disliked traditional funerals, you might want something outdoors with happy music.
3-3. Decide where the funeral will take place.
Many funerals take place in a funeral home. This is the simplest option, but you may also choose to hold it at the gravesite or in a house of worship. You’ll need to contact the location to set up a day and time, then communicate with the funeral director to transport the deceased’s body there.
Research how different faiths handle funeral rites when selecting a religious site. The leaders of the church, synagogue, or mosque can answer any questions you have.
3-4. Set up wakes or other events scheduled around the funeral.
Sometimes special events such as wakes, church services, or family dinners are part of the funeral process. Choose events that honor the deceased and also help guests grieve and support one another.
Culture and religion play a large part in this. For example, some rites may include prayers or a church service before the funeral and dinner after the funeral.
3-5. Schedule a viewing time if desired.
Separate hours may be set aside for friends and loved ones to visit the deceased. Viewings and wakes happen before the funeral service. You’ll need to reserve this time with the funeral home or place of worship where the funeral is meant to be held.
3-6. Print press releases detailing the funeral plans.
Contact local newspapers and websites to announce the plans in the obituary. Also contact the deceased’s place of worship, if they had one, to get the funeral details announced or printed in the bulletin there.
The important part is to make sure everyone knows about the passing and funeral. Make sure you spread the word to anyone you want at the funeral. Call, write letters, or send messages on social media as necessary.
3-7. Arrange transportation to the burial ground.
Funeral homes and mortuary services provide a hearse to carry the body to cemetery or crematorium for a fee. You may also book cars to transport guests in a funeral procession. The costs for this add up, so decide whether or not you’d rather have everyone make their own way to the burial ground.
In addition to being costly, sitting in a strange, dark car may be a very strange and upsetting experience for grieving guests.
4. Finalizing Funeral Details
4-1. Select the clothing that the deceased will be dressed in.
Select clothing from their personal wardrobe. Think of what makes them look presentable or displays their personality. Many people choose formal wear, although you may opt for favorite clothing like a special t-shirt or uniform. Bring the clothing to the funeral director.
The funeral home will wash the body if you hired a funeral director. They may also be able to provide clothing.
Religious customs also dictate what kind of clothing should be worn.
4-2. Customize the funeral with music and decorations.
Many homes will select flowers or music for you if you don’t do it yourself. Gather any pictures you wish to share, music you’d like to play during the service, and other decorations you’d like to display. You’re under no obligation to do this, but it’s a great way to honor a life.
For example, pick their favorite type of flower or bring in flowers they grew themselves.
If they liked classic rock, you can play their favorite songs instead of a church service with organ music.
4-3. Plan out the eulogies for the service.
Consult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.
During a religious service, the spiritual leader covers most of the speaking duties.
Since you’re arranging the event, you’ll probably be expected to talk. Rather than dread the occasion, embrace the opportunity to talk about the person's life, the relationship you had together, and how they affected your life.
4-4. Select pallbearers for the casket.
Once the service is over, pallbearers take the coffin to the hearse and then to the burial site. Choose at least 4 people, usually close friends and family, that are willing and have the strength to carry some of the weight.
If there aren't enough pallbearers, the funeral home's staff can help.
After a cremation, someone will need to take home the ashes. This is either a close family member or friend who has the option to keep the ashes or scatter them.
4-5. Provide comfort food for after the funeral.
Food is a comforting distraction, so plan on bringing snacks or having a meal when the service is done. This can be done by calling a catering company, preparing food alone or with other guests, or by reserving a spot at a restaurant after the service.
If you choose to provide food, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Items like small sandwiches, cake, and hot coffee go a long way.
Many people won’t feel like cooking, so providing food and company for other guests can be a positive gesture.
4-6. Purchase a guest book if you’d like to record the funeral.
If you’d like, get a guest book from an office supply store. Set it out at the funeral so everyone signs their name. It’s a great gift to take home or give to someone else to remind them of the support available during this trying time.
Tips
Check with your local government first before burying someone on private property.
Make sure you check rules and regulations where you live, death's are registered differently around the world and whilst this article has some general advice, the specifics may vary.
A modern and cost effective option is Direct Cremation. You can pay for the deceased to be collected from hospital or home or an other location and be cremated straight away leaving the family free to have a memorial service or other ceremonial farewell however and whenever they wish.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reacting Immediately\\n1-1. Notify the authorities of the death if they don’t know yet.\\nAlert the deceased’s medical provider or the emergency response service in your area. They’ll legally declare that the deceased has passed, which is needed when obtaining the death certificate.\\nIf this happened in a hospital or another facility, the staff will take care of this for you.\\n1-2. Call or visit a funeral director to begin planning.\\nIt’s normal to not feel ready for this step, but it’s recommended that you call right away. The director can take care of a lot of the hassle, including setting up the funeral, transportation, and legal paperwork.\\nSpend some time comparing different funeral homes in your area. In addition to the services they offer, also consider which funeral director makes you feel the most comfortable—caring for the mourners is an important part of their duties.\\nIt’s possible in some areas of the country to arrange the funeral without a director. You may need to wash the deceased, transport them, and arrange for their burial or cremation yourself. Check the laws in your area to see if this is possible.\\n1-3. Arrange to have the deceased transported to a holding facility.\\nHospitals and other facilities require the remains to be removed within hours. The funeral director will arrange this during your first conversation with them. Pick a funeral home or mortuary in the area where the deceased lived.\\nThe funeral home takes care of washing and dressing the deceased and can help you arrange further transportation in case you need to have the funeral somewhere else.\\nIf you need to have the funeral farther away, make use of one of these facilities while you arrange the extra transportation.\\n2. Hiring a Funeral Director\\n2-1. Discuss the funeral plans and costs with the director.\\nAfter the transportation happens, talk to the director again to plan the funeral. You may do this over the phone, but it helps to visit them in person to go over all your options. There are a lot of choices to make in what may be a difficult time, so you may want a friend or family to come along for support.\\nAsk the director for a written printout of the costs so you can set up a budget and make changes to the arrangements as necessary.\\nIf you don’t feel capable of leaving home, ask the funeral director if they’ll visit you. Some directors may not be willing to do this, so you’ll need to talk to them over the phone.\\n2-2. Agree to a payment plan for the funeral director’s services.\\nDiscuss the payment options before signing the contract. Most funeral directors and facilities will allow you to pay in installments over time. They may ask for a deposit up front before proceeding to discuss the arrangements.\\nSome people who pass away don’t have enough money in their bank account to pay for a funeral. Be aware that you’ll get stuck with the charges, so you may need to simplify the funeral or ask for help.\\nIf you plan on using the deceased’s bank account to pay, remember that the funds will be frozen once the bank is notified of the death. You’ll need to wait for the probate court to release the assets.\\n2-3. Sign the funeral director’s service contract.\\nOnce you’ve agreed to accept the funeral director's help, they will draw up a contract. Read it carefully and ask any questions you have. Signing the contract means you agree and will be liable for any services the director provides.\\n2-4. Choose the type of funeral service you want.\\nThe funeral director will also ask you to choose between a burial or cremation. Have the director explain the benefits in each option. No matter what, you will need to arrange for a burial or cremation spot.\\nYou’ll have an opportunity to consider when the funeral should take place. For an immediate service, a direct burial with a graveside service may be the best option.\\nFor religious services, notify the funeral director and the deceased’s place of worship. Both will help make the arrangements according to the tenets of the faith.\\n2-5. Reserve a burial plot or crematorium service.\\nThe deceased may have a burial plot reserved. Check with the probate court or family members to find out. When they don’t have a spot, you’ll need to contact the cemetery or crematorium to purchase their services.\\nThe funeral director may include these fees in the bill. If not, you’ll need to pay the fees directly to the cemetery or crematorium owners after contacting them.\\n2-6. Register the death certificate if you aren’t working with a director.\\nAfter the passing has been legally documented by a medical professional, you can retrieve an official death certificate needed for burial or cremation. Normally, the funeral director handles the paperwork. When doing it yourself, contact your the registrar or vital statistic office in the area where the deceased lived.\\nThe certificate should be obtained within 5 to 10 days of the passing, but before the funeral takes place.\\nThis certificate is used to report to relevant financial institutions, insurance agencies, and government programs, which you should do as soon as possible.\\n3. Planning the Funeral Service\\n3-1. Pick a casket that fits the funeral budget.\\nCoffins come in various sizes and are mostly made from a variety of woods. Besides for appearances, there’s little difference between the options. The funeral director will ask you right away to select the coffin, but you may also order one online.\\nIn many areas, a shroud is the minimum required to cover the body.\\nBe aware of religious customs. In a Muslim funeral, for example, the deceased is often wrapped in a shroud.\\n3-2. Use the deceased’s wishes to plan the funeral.\\nVisit the probate court clerk's office where the deceased lived to see if they made a will. They may have left instructions in it that you can use to make arranging the funeral easier. Also consider who the deceased was and use your memories to give them a funeral they’d be proud of.\\nYou aren’t required to follow the wishes written in the will, but honoring those requests can make for a positive memorialization.\\nThink of what the deceased said to you in the past. They might have mentioned what they wanted in a funeral.\\nFor example, if you knew they disliked traditional funerals, you might want something outdoors with happy music.\\n3-3. Decide where the funeral will take place.\\nMany funerals take place in a funeral home. This is the simplest option, but you may also choose to hold it at the gravesite or in a house of worship. You’ll need to contact the location to set up a day and time, then communicate with the funeral director to transport the deceased’s body there.\\nResearch how different faiths handle funeral rites when selecting a religious site. The leaders of the church, synagogue, or mosque can answer any questions you have.\\n3-4. Set up wakes or other events scheduled around the funeral.\\nSometimes special events such as wakes, church services, or family dinners are part of the funeral process. Choose events that honor the deceased and also help guests grieve and support one another.\\nCulture and religion play a large part in this. For example, some rites may include prayers or a church service before the funeral and dinner after the funeral.\\n3-5. Schedule a viewing time if desired.\\nSeparate hours may be set aside for friends and loved ones to visit the deceased. Viewings and wakes happen before the funeral service. You’ll need to reserve this time with the funeral home or place of worship where the funeral is meant to be held.\\n3-6. Print press releases detailing the funeral plans.\\nContact local newspapers and websites to announce the plans in the obituary. Also contact the deceased’s place of worship, if they had one, to get the funeral details announced or printed in the bulletin there.\\nThe important part is to make sure everyone knows about the passing and funeral. Make sure you spread the word to anyone you want at the funeral. Call, write letters, or send messages on social media as necessary.\\n3-7. Arrange transportation to the burial ground.\\nFuneral homes and mortuary services provide a hearse to carry the body to cemetery or crematorium for a fee. You may also book cars to transport guests in a funeral procession. The costs for this add up, so decide whether or not you’d rather have everyone make their own way to the burial ground.\\nIn addition to being costly, sitting in a strange, dark car may be a very strange and upsetting experience for grieving guests.\\n4. Finalizing Funeral Details\\n4-1. Select the clothing that the deceased will be dressed in.\\nSelect clothing from their personal wardrobe. Think of what makes them look presentable or displays their personality. Many people choose formal wear, although you may opt for favorite clothing like a special t-shirt or uniform. Bring the clothing to the funeral director.\\nThe funeral home will wash the body if you hired a funeral director. They may also be able to provide clothing.\\nReligious customs also dictate what kind of clothing should be worn.\\n4-2. Customize the funeral with music and decorations.\\nMany homes will select flowers or music for you if you don’t do it yourself. Gather any pictures you wish to share, music you’d like to play during the service, and other decorations you’d like to display. You’re under no obligation to do this, but it’s a great way to honor a life.\\nFor example, pick their favorite type of flower or bring in flowers they grew themselves.\\nIf they liked classic rock, you can play their favorite songs instead of a church service with organ music.\\n4-3. Plan out the eulogies for the service.\\nConsult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.\\nDuring a religious service, the spiritual leader covers most of the speaking duties.\\nSince you’re arranging the event, you’ll probably be expected to talk. Rather than dread the occasion, embrace the opportunity to talk about the person's life, the relationship you had together, and how they affected your life.\\n4-4. Select pallbearers for the casket.\\nOnce the service is over, pallbearers take the coffin to the hearse and then to the burial site. Choose at least 4 people, usually close friends and family, that are willing and have the strength to carry some of the weight.\\nIf there aren't enough pallbearers, the funeral home's staff can help.\\nAfter a cremation, someone will need to take home the ashes. This is either a close family member or friend who has the option to keep the ashes or scatter them.\\n4-5. Provide comfort food for after the funeral.\\nFood is a comforting distraction, so plan on bringing snacks or having a meal when the service is done. This can be done by calling a catering company, preparing food alone or with other guests, or by reserving a spot at a restaurant after the service.\\nIf you choose to provide food, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Items like small sandwiches, cake, and hot coffee go a long way.\\nMany people won’t feel like cooking, so providing food and company for other guests can be a positive gesture.\\n4-6. Purchase a guest book if you’d like to record the funeral.\\nIf you’d like, get a guest book from an office supply store. Set it out at the funeral so everyone signs their name. It’s a great gift to take home or give to someone else to remind them of the support available during this trying time.\\nTips\\nCheck with your local government first before burying someone on private property.\\nMake sure you check rules and regulations where you live, death's are registered differently around the world and whilst this article has some general advice, the specifics may vary.\\nA modern and cost effective option is Direct Cremation. You can pay for the deceased to be collected from hospital or home or an other location and be cremated straight away leaving the family free to have a memorial service or other ceremonial farewell however and whenever they wish.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Arranging a funeral can seem like a daunting responsibility during a trying time, but it's an essential part of expressing grief. Contact a funeral director for guidance on setting up the funeral, completing legal documentation, and reserving space at a cemetery or crematorium. Personalize the service with music and decorations and you'll create a memorial service everyone will love.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reacting Immediately\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Notify the authorities of the death if they don’t know yet.\", \"描述\": \"Alert the deceased’s medical provider or the emergency response service in your area. They’ll legally declare that the deceased has passed, which is needed when obtaining the death certificate.\\nIf this happened in a hospital or another facility, the staff will take care of this for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Call or visit a funeral director to begin planning.\", \"描述\": \"It’s normal to not feel ready for this step, but it’s recommended that you call right away. The director can take care of a lot of the hassle, including setting up the funeral, transportation, and legal paperwork.\\nSpend some time comparing different funeral homes in your area. In addition to the services they offer, also consider which funeral director makes you feel the most comfortable—caring for the mourners is an important part of their duties.\\nIt’s possible in some areas of the country to arrange the funeral without a director. You may need to wash the deceased, transport them, and arrange for their burial or cremation yourself. Check the laws in your area to see if this is possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Arrange to have the deceased transported to a holding facility.\", \"描述\": \"Hospitals and other facilities require the remains to be removed within hours. The funeral director will arrange this during your first conversation with them. Pick a funeral home or mortuary in the area where the deceased lived.\\nThe funeral home takes care of washing and dressing the deceased and can help you arrange further transportation in case you need to have the funeral somewhere else.\\nIf you need to have the funeral farther away, make use of one of these facilities while you arrange the extra transportation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hiring a Funeral Director\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss the funeral plans and costs with the director.\", \"描述\": \"After the transportation happens, talk to the director again to plan the funeral. You may do this over the phone, but it helps to visit them in person to go over all your options. There are a lot of choices to make in what may be a difficult time, so you may want a friend or family to come along for support.\\nAsk the director for a written printout of the costs so you can set up a budget and make changes to the arrangements as necessary.\\nIf you don’t feel capable of leaving home, ask the funeral director if they’ll visit you. Some directors may not be willing to do this, so you’ll need to talk to them over the phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Agree to a payment plan for the funeral director’s services.\", \"描述\": \"Discuss the payment options before signing the contract. Most funeral directors and facilities will allow you to pay in installments over time. They may ask for a deposit up front before proceeding to discuss the arrangements.\\nSome people who pass away don’t have enough money in their bank account to pay for a funeral. Be aware that you’ll get stuck with the charges, so you may need to simplify the funeral or ask for help.\\nIf you plan on using the deceased’s bank account to pay, remember that the funds will be frozen once the bank is notified of the death. You’ll need to wait for the probate court to release the assets.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sign the funeral director’s service contract.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve agreed to accept the funeral director's help, they will draw up a contract. Read it carefully and ask any questions you have. Signing the contract means you agree and will be liable for any services the director provides.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose the type of funeral service you want.\", \"描述\": \"The funeral director will also ask you to choose between a burial or cremation. Have the director explain the benefits in each option. No matter what, you will need to arrange for a burial or cremation spot.\\nYou’ll have an opportunity to consider when the funeral should take place. For an immediate service, a direct burial with a graveside service may be the best option.\\nFor religious services, notify the funeral director and the deceased’s place of worship. Both will help make the arrangements according to the tenets of the faith.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reserve a burial plot or crematorium service.\", \"描述\": \"The deceased may have a burial plot reserved. Check with the probate court or family members to find out. When they don’t have a spot, you’ll need to contact the cemetery or crematorium to purchase their services.\\nThe funeral director may include these fees in the bill. If not, you’ll need to pay the fees directly to the cemetery or crematorium owners after contacting them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Register the death certificate if you aren’t working with a director.\", \"描述\": \"After the passing has been legally documented by a medical professional, you can retrieve an official death certificate needed for burial or cremation. Normally, the funeral director handles the paperwork. When doing it yourself, contact your the registrar or vital statistic office in the area where the deceased lived.\\nThe certificate should be obtained within 5 to 10 days of the passing, but before the funeral takes place.\\nThis certificate is used to report to relevant financial institutions, insurance agencies, and government programs, which you should do as soon as possible.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Planning the Funeral Service\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a casket that fits the funeral budget.\", \"描述\": \"Coffins come in various sizes and are mostly made from a variety of woods. Besides for appearances, there’s little difference between the options. The funeral director will ask you right away to select the coffin, but you may also order one online.\\nIn many areas, a shroud is the minimum required to cover the body.\\nBe aware of religious customs. In a Muslim funeral, for example, the deceased is often wrapped in a shroud.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use the deceased’s wishes to plan the funeral.\", \"描述\": \"Visit the probate court clerk's office where the deceased lived to see if they made a will. They may have left instructions in it that you can use to make arranging the funeral easier. Also consider who the deceased was and use your memories to give them a funeral they’d be proud of.\\nYou aren’t required to follow the wishes written in the will, but honoring those requests can make for a positive memorialization.\\nThink of what the deceased said to you in the past. They might have mentioned what they wanted in a funeral.\\nFor example, if you knew they disliked traditional funerals, you might want something outdoors with happy music.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Decide where the funeral will take place.\", \"描述\": \"Many funerals take place in a funeral home. This is the simplest option, but you may also choose to hold it at the gravesite or in a house of worship. You’ll need to contact the location to set up a day and time, then communicate with the funeral director to transport the deceased’s body there.\\nResearch how different faiths handle funeral rites when selecting a religious site. The leaders of the church, synagogue, or mosque can answer any questions you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set up wakes or other events scheduled around the funeral.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes special events such as wakes, church services, or family dinners are part of the funeral process. Choose events that honor the deceased and also help guests grieve and support one another.\\nCulture and religion play a large part in this. For example, some rites may include prayers or a church service before the funeral and dinner after the funeral.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Schedule a viewing time if desired.\", \"描述\": \"Separate hours may be set aside for friends and loved ones to visit the deceased. Viewings and wakes happen before the funeral service. You’ll need to reserve this time with the funeral home or place of worship where the funeral is meant to be held.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Print press releases detailing the funeral plans.\", \"描述\": \"Contact local newspapers and websites to announce the plans in the obituary. Also contact the deceased’s place of worship, if they had one, to get the funeral details announced or printed in the bulletin there.\\nThe important part is to make sure everyone knows about the passing and funeral. Make sure you spread the word to anyone you want at the funeral. Call, write letters, or send messages on social media as necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Arrange transportation to the burial ground.\", \"描述\": \"Funeral homes and mortuary services provide a hearse to carry the body to cemetery or crematorium for a fee. You may also book cars to transport guests in a funeral procession. The costs for this add up, so decide whether or not you’d rather have everyone make their own way to the burial ground.\\nIn addition to being costly, sitting in a strange, dark car may be a very strange and upsetting experience for grieving guests.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Finalizing Funeral Details\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Select the clothing that the deceased will be dressed in.\", \"描述\": \"Select clothing from their personal wardrobe. Think of what makes them look presentable or displays their personality. Many people choose formal wear, although you may opt for favorite clothing like a special t-shirt or uniform. Bring the clothing to the funeral director.\\nThe funeral home will wash the body if you hired a funeral director. They may also be able to provide clothing.\\nReligious customs also dictate what kind of clothing should be worn.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Customize the funeral with music and decorations.\", \"描述\": \"Many homes will select flowers or music for you if you don’t do it yourself. Gather any pictures you wish to share, music you’d like to play during the service, and other decorations you’d like to display. You’re under no obligation to do this, but it’s a great way to honor a life.\\nFor example, pick their favorite type of flower or bring in flowers they grew themselves.\\nIf they liked classic rock, you can play their favorite songs instead of a church service with organ music.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plan out the eulogies for the service.\", \"描述\": \"Consult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.\\nDuring a religious service, the spiritual leader covers most of the speaking duties.\\nSince you’re arranging the event, you’ll probably be expected to talk. Rather than dread the occasion, embrace the opportunity to talk about the person's life, the relationship you had together, and how they affected your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select pallbearers for the casket.\", \"描述\": \"Once the service is over, pallbearers take the coffin to the hearse and then to the burial site. Choose at least 4 people, usually close friends and family, that are willing and have the strength to carry some of the weight.\\nIf there aren't enough pallbearers, the funeral home's staff can help.\\nAfter a cremation, someone will need to take home the ashes. This is either a close family member or friend who has the option to keep the ashes or scatter them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Provide comfort food for after the funeral.\", \"描述\": \"Food is a comforting distraction, so plan on bringing snacks or having a meal when the service is done. This can be done by calling a catering company, preparing food alone or with other guests, or by reserving a spot at a restaurant after the service.\\nIf you choose to provide food, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Items like small sandwiches, cake, and hot coffee go a long way.\\nMany people won’t feel like cooking, so providing food and company for other guests can be a positive gesture.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Purchase a guest book if you’d like to record the funeral.\", \"描述\": \"If you’d like, get a guest book from an office supply store. Set it out at the funeral so everyone signs their name. It’s a great gift to take home or give to someone else to remind them of the support available during this trying time.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Check with your local government first before burying someone on private property.\\n\", \"Make sure you check rules and regulations where you live, death's are registered differently around the world and whilst this article has some general advice, the specifics may vary.\\n\", \"A modern and cost effective option is Direct Cremation. You can pay for the deceased to be collected from hospital or home or an other location and be cremated straight away leaving the family free to have a memorial service or other ceremonial farewell however and whenever they wish.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,424 | How to Arrange a Paper Filing System | 1. Preparing for a New Filing System
1-1. Gather all your materials.
You need to compile all your paperwork before attempting to setup a proper system. Go through all locations you may have paperwork and place them all in one pile. Spend time to make sure you can properly account for all active and inactive work you have.
Plan ahead of time by clearing a table space to work on your papers.
If you are adapting someone else’s paperwork into a new filing system, remove all documents from the current system. It will be better for you to handle all documents and prepare for a new system.
1-2. Go through all the documents.
This is the hard part of the process, but it is also a crucial step to becoming organized. Separate all of the files based on what they are, such as bank statements, credit card bills, and mortgage payments. It may seem tedious, but go through each document in your pile to determine what you’re working with.
You don’t need to read each paper, but a brief skim will help you out.
Post-it notes are good for marking important papers you know you’ll need to spend time on.
1-3. Set up piles.
As you start to sort through your paperwork, it would be helpful to keep related papers together. You could place all papers relating to the “Nickelback” client in one pile. Another example is to pile your work based on months.
Having a sense of chronological order could be useful for your filing needs.
Set priorities while sorting through paperwork. When you see papers that are exceptionally important, place them on the top of their respective pile.
1-4. Reduce as you see fit.
Another pile you can create is the trash pile. You aren’t required to throw away a pile of your paperwork, but you should separate the unimportant papers from the other piles. You could even set up a miscellaneous pile where random papers could go.
If you are 100% sure that you don’t need some paperwork and you cannot draw a viable link to other document, discard them. Check with your superiors if you’re allowed to throw away anything before following through with something.
1-5. Use manila folders.
Keep things simple for yourself by using cheap manila folders. This won’t hurt your funds and will allow you to carry out any filing system you’d like. You can get a pack of manila folders from any office supply store.
1-6. Transfer your piles.
Use the piles you established earlier to act as a guide for your folders. Ensure that the contents of each folder are organized as well. You can either organize a file’s contents based on each paper’s importance or by chronology.
Avoid arranging a file’s contents based off the alphabet. Alphabetical organization works more efficiently for organizing groups of files.
Place the manila folders into a filing cabinet as you fill the folders.
2. Creating a System Fit for You
2-1. Use an alphabetical filing system.
An alphabetical filing system works well when you need to retrieve names of people, customers, authors, names of movies, books, or etc. Provided you use terms that are easy to retrieve, an alphabetical filing system is often the easiest system to use.
The best way to file and retrieve files is by labeling each file. Manila folders have an extra tab designed to label files that will make your retrieval process easier.
If you are handling clients, it is more efficient to alphabetize by last name.
If you have a lot of files, consider making letter sections to help you organize. Section dividers are large and simply contain one letter. You can also divide the letters in pairs like “A-D” or “F-K.”
2-2. Use a topical order.
When you work or study in a variety of subject areas, a subject or topic order can be a very useful way to retrieve information. For example, if you study law, you could have subject headings of contract, constitutional law, torts, administrative law, international law etc.
The best way to organize topical information is through section dividers. Label your section dividers based off the contents, like “Admin Law.”
This system works best if you have several different topics. If not, you’ll be left with one or two dividers and not much of an organized system.
2-3. Try numerical filing.
This type of filing system is ideal for files that contain dates or numbers. For example, if you have invoices, receipts, dated events etc., the numerical system can make an easy system to locate again. You can also consider month and year labeling for this option. For those working in an environment that uses numbering for papers such as medical files, legislative documents, court cases, etc., numbering is a useful retrieval method.
Only use this system if you are comfortable viewing several numbers and can retrieve information from these numbers.
Mark on the filing tabs the numbers or dates and organize based off the numbered value. Start with “1” and have the following numbers increase value.
If you are filing with months, start with January and move, in order, through December. You’ll benefit with section dividers for each month.
2-4. Use color coding.
This is great for creative filing and is especially effective for those with good visual recall. It can help to cross-reference different subjects based off color coding. You can color code any of the aforementioned techniques for filing. You can also use a combination of organizing systems by pairing color codes with another system.
One of easiest ways to add color to your established filling method is by using highlighters. You can purchase a variety pack of highlighters from any office supplies store.
Another way to implement color coding is by using a variety of colored folders.
2-5. Use a frequency system.
This works well for items that you use all the time, but shouldn’t be a standalone system. It needs to feed off another system, for example the alphabetical system. Add the frequently used information to a grouped space in your filing area so that it can be retrieved quickly, such as at the very front of a filing cabinet drawer.
You’ll need to be careful you don’t get unorganized using this system. Keeping the project you’re currently working on in the front, won’t always guarantee an efficient organization.
3. Retaining an Organized System
3-1. File paperwork immediately.
One way to ensure your filing system runs efficiently is by filing paper as you process it. The filing system is not going to work if you put off filing papers. Getting into the habit of filing papers will also help your productivity and workflow.
3-2. Keep your space updated.
Every couple of months you should go through your filing system and do a brief sweep. You aren’t required to review all your papers like you did for the initial organization. Check through all files and make sure everything is organized and in the right place.
After the first few months you could also reflect if the system you choose is working for you.
3-3. Clean out your space.
Once a year you should do a larger cleaning of your workspace. You might have some files that you regularly use, but you should now go through the other files you use less. Open the files you use less and read through all your documents to see if there is any unnecessary paperwork.
Take out all the files and wipe down the filing cabinet with a damp washcloth to remove dust buildup.
Tips
These principles can also apply to computer or other electronic filing groupings.
Use an index for files not placed alphabetically. This should be alphabetically arranged so that you can quickly locate your files either way. Put this index at the front of the file.
Start by purging and sort through your piles of papers and use post-it notes to sort into categories, and then sub-categories.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing for a New Filing System\\n1-1. Gather all your materials.\\nYou need to compile all your paperwork before attempting to setup a proper system. Go through all locations you may have paperwork and place them all in one pile. Spend time to make sure you can properly account for all active and inactive work you have.\\nPlan ahead of time by clearing a table space to work on your papers.\\nIf you are adapting someone else’s paperwork into a new filing system, remove all documents from the current system. It will be better for you to handle all documents and prepare for a new system.\\n1-2. Go through all the documents.\\nThis is the hard part of the process, but it is also a crucial step to becoming organized. Separate all of the files based on what they are, such as bank statements, credit card bills, and mortgage payments. It may seem tedious, but go through each document in your pile to determine what you’re working with.\\nYou don’t need to read each paper, but a brief skim will help you out.\\nPost-it notes are good for marking important papers you know you’ll need to spend time on.\\n1-3. Set up piles.\\nAs you start to sort through your paperwork, it would be helpful to keep related papers together. You could place all papers relating to the “Nickelback” client in one pile. Another example is to pile your work based on months.\\nHaving a sense of chronological order could be useful for your filing needs.\\nSet priorities while sorting through paperwork. When you see papers that are exceptionally important, place them on the top of their respective pile.\\n1-4. Reduce as you see fit.\\nAnother pile you can create is the trash pile. You aren’t required to throw away a pile of your paperwork, but you should separate the unimportant papers from the other piles. You could even set up a miscellaneous pile where random papers could go.\\nIf you are 100% sure that you don’t need some paperwork and you cannot draw a viable link to other document, discard them. Check with your superiors if you’re allowed to throw away anything before following through with something.\\n1-5. Use manila folders.\\nKeep things simple for yourself by using cheap manila folders. This won’t hurt your funds and will allow you to carry out any filing system you’d like. You can get a pack of manila folders from any office supply store.\\n1-6. Transfer your piles.\\nUse the piles you established earlier to act as a guide for your folders. Ensure that the contents of each folder are organized as well. You can either organize a file’s contents based on each paper’s importance or by chronology.\\nAvoid arranging a file’s contents based off the alphabet. Alphabetical organization works more efficiently for organizing groups of files.\\nPlace the manila folders into a filing cabinet as you fill the folders.\\n2. Creating a System Fit for You\\n2-1. Use an alphabetical filing system.\\nAn alphabetical filing system works well when you need to retrieve names of people, customers, authors, names of movies, books, or etc. Provided you use terms that are easy to retrieve, an alphabetical filing system is often the easiest system to use.\\nThe best way to file and retrieve files is by labeling each file. Manila folders have an extra tab designed to label files that will make your retrieval process easier.\\nIf you are handling clients, it is more efficient to alphabetize by last name.\\nIf you have a lot of files, consider making letter sections to help you organize. Section dividers are large and simply contain one letter. You can also divide the letters in pairs like “A-D” or “F-K.”\\n2-2. Use a topical order.\\nWhen you work or study in a variety of subject areas, a subject or topic order can be a very useful way to retrieve information. For example, if you study law, you could have subject headings of contract, constitutional law, torts, administrative law, international law etc.\\nThe best way to organize topical information is through section dividers. Label your section dividers based off the contents, like “Admin Law.”\\nThis system works best if you have several different topics. If not, you’ll be left with one or two dividers and not much of an organized system.\\n2-3. Try numerical filing.\\nThis type of filing system is ideal for files that contain dates or numbers. For example, if you have invoices, receipts, dated events etc., the numerical system can make an easy system to locate again. You can also consider month and year labeling for this option. For those working in an environment that uses numbering for papers such as medical files, legislative documents, court cases, etc., numbering is a useful retrieval method.\\nOnly use this system if you are comfortable viewing several numbers and can retrieve information from these numbers.\\nMark on the filing tabs the numbers or dates and organize based off the numbered value. Start with “1” and have the following numbers increase value.\\nIf you are filing with months, start with January and move, in order, through December. You’ll benefit with section dividers for each month.\\n2-4. Use color coding.\\nThis is great for creative filing and is especially effective for those with good visual recall. It can help to cross-reference different subjects based off color coding. You can color code any of the aforementioned techniques for filing. You can also use a combination of organizing systems by pairing color codes with another system.\\nOne of easiest ways to add color to your established filling method is by using highlighters. You can purchase a variety pack of highlighters from any office supplies store.\\nAnother way to implement color coding is by using a variety of colored folders.\\n2-5. Use a frequency system.\\nThis works well for items that you use all the time, but shouldn’t be a standalone system. It needs to feed off another system, for example the alphabetical system. Add the frequently used information to a grouped space in your filing area so that it can be retrieved quickly, such as at the very front of a filing cabinet drawer.\\nYou’ll need to be careful you don’t get unorganized using this system. Keeping the project you’re currently working on in the front, won’t always guarantee an efficient organization.\\n3. Retaining an Organized System\\n3-1. File paperwork immediately.\\nOne way to ensure your filing system runs efficiently is by filing paper as you process it. The filing system is not going to work if you put off filing papers. Getting into the habit of filing papers will also help your productivity and workflow.\\n3-2. Keep your space updated.\\nEvery couple of months you should go through your filing system and do a brief sweep. You aren’t required to review all your papers like you did for the initial organization. Check through all files and make sure everything is organized and in the right place.\\nAfter the first few months you could also reflect if the system you choose is working for you.\\n3-3. Clean out your space.\\nOnce a year you should do a larger cleaning of your workspace. You might have some files that you regularly use, but you should now go through the other files you use less. Open the files you use less and read through all your documents to see if there is any unnecessary paperwork.\\nTake out all the files and wipe down the filing cabinet with a damp washcloth to remove dust buildup.\\nTips\\nThese principles can also apply to computer or other electronic filing groupings.\\nUse an index for files not placed alphabetically. This should be alphabetically arranged so that you can quickly locate your files either way. Put this index at the front of the file.\\nStart by purging and sort through your piles of papers and use post-it notes to sort into categories, and then sub-categories.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re in business or school that requires you to work with multiple clients or projects, a proper filing system is critical. There are several methods for filing papers, but ultimately your system should reflect your needs. The best way to prepare for an efficient system is to reserve a couple days to solely work on organization.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing for a New Filing System\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gather all your materials.\", \"描述\": \"You need to compile all your paperwork before attempting to setup a proper system. Go through all locations you may have paperwork and place them all in one pile. Spend time to make sure you can properly account for all active and inactive work you have.\\nPlan ahead of time by clearing a table space to work on your papers.\\nIf you are adapting someone else’s paperwork into a new filing system, remove all documents from the current system. It will be better for you to handle all documents and prepare for a new system.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go through all the documents.\", \"描述\": \"This is the hard part of the process, but it is also a crucial step to becoming organized. Separate all of the files based on what they are, such as bank statements, credit card bills, and mortgage payments. It may seem tedious, but go through each document in your pile to determine what you’re working with.\\nYou don’t need to read each paper, but a brief skim will help you out.\\nPost-it notes are good for marking important papers you know you’ll need to spend time on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set up piles.\", \"描述\": \"As you start to sort through your paperwork, it would be helpful to keep related papers together. You could place all papers relating to the “Nickelback” client in one pile. Another example is to pile your work based on months.\\nHaving a sense of chronological order could be useful for your filing needs.\\nSet priorities while sorting through paperwork. When you see papers that are exceptionally important, place them on the top of their respective pile.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reduce as you see fit.\", \"描述\": \"Another pile you can create is the trash pile. You aren’t required to throw away a pile of your paperwork, but you should separate the unimportant papers from the other piles. You could even set up a miscellaneous pile where random papers could go.\\nIf you are 100% sure that you don’t need some paperwork and you cannot draw a viable link to other document, discard them. Check with your superiors if you’re allowed to throw away anything before following through with something.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use manila folders.\", \"描述\": \"Keep things simple for yourself by using cheap manila folders. This won’t hurt your funds and will allow you to carry out any filing system you’d like. You can get a pack of manila folders from any office supply store.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Transfer your piles.\", \"描述\": \"Use the piles you established earlier to act as a guide for your folders. Ensure that the contents of each folder are organized as well. You can either organize a file’s contents based on each paper’s importance or by chronology.\\nAvoid arranging a file’s contents based off the alphabet. Alphabetical organization works more efficiently for organizing groups of files.\\nPlace the manila folders into a filing cabinet as you fill the folders.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating a System Fit for You\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use an alphabetical filing system.\", \"描述\": \"An alphabetical filing system works well when you need to retrieve names of people, customers, authors, names of movies, books, or etc. Provided you use terms that are easy to retrieve, an alphabetical filing system is often the easiest system to use.\\nThe best way to file and retrieve files is by labeling each file. Manila folders have an extra tab designed to label files that will make your retrieval process easier.\\nIf you are handling clients, it is more efficient to alphabetize by last name.\\nIf you have a lot of files, consider making letter sections to help you organize. Section dividers are large and simply contain one letter. You can also divide the letters in pairs like “A-D” or “F-K.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a topical order.\", \"描述\": \"When you work or study in a variety of subject areas, a subject or topic order can be a very useful way to retrieve information. For example, if you study law, you could have subject headings of contract, constitutional law, torts, administrative law, international law etc.\\nThe best way to organize topical information is through section dividers. Label your section dividers based off the contents, like “Admin Law.”\\nThis system works best if you have several different topics. If not, you’ll be left with one or two dividers and not much of an organized system.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try numerical filing.\", \"描述\": \"This type of filing system is ideal for files that contain dates or numbers. For example, if you have invoices, receipts, dated events etc., the numerical system can make an easy system to locate again. You can also consider month and year labeling for this option. For those working in an environment that uses numbering for papers such as medical files, legislative documents, court cases, etc., numbering is a useful retrieval method.\\nOnly use this system if you are comfortable viewing several numbers and can retrieve information from these numbers.\\nMark on the filing tabs the numbers or dates and organize based off the numbered value. Start with “1” and have the following numbers increase value.\\nIf you are filing with months, start with January and move, in order, through December. You’ll benefit with section dividers for each month.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use color coding.\", \"描述\": \"This is great for creative filing and is especially effective for those with good visual recall. It can help to cross-reference different subjects based off color coding. You can color code any of the aforementioned techniques for filing. You can also use a combination of organizing systems by pairing color codes with another system.\\nOne of easiest ways to add color to your established filling method is by using highlighters. You can purchase a variety pack of highlighters from any office supplies store.\\nAnother way to implement color coding is by using a variety of colored folders.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use a frequency system.\", \"描述\": \"This works well for items that you use all the time, but shouldn’t be a standalone system. It needs to feed off another system, for example the alphabetical system. Add the frequently used information to a grouped space in your filing area so that it can be retrieved quickly, such as at the very front of a filing cabinet drawer.\\nYou’ll need to be careful you don’t get unorganized using this system. Keeping the project you’re currently working on in the front, won’t always guarantee an efficient organization.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Retaining an Organized System\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"File paperwork immediately.\", \"描述\": \"One way to ensure your filing system runs efficiently is by filing paper as you process it. The filing system is not going to work if you put off filing papers. Getting into the habit of filing papers will also help your productivity and workflow.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your space updated.\", \"描述\": \"Every couple of months you should go through your filing system and do a brief sweep. You aren’t required to review all your papers like you did for the initial organization. Check through all files and make sure everything is organized and in the right place.\\nAfter the first few months you could also reflect if the system you choose is working for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clean out your space.\", \"描述\": \"Once a year you should do a larger cleaning of your workspace. You might have some files that you regularly use, but you should now go through the other files you use less. Open the files you use less and read through all your documents to see if there is any unnecessary paperwork.\\nTake out all the files and wipe down the filing cabinet with a damp washcloth to remove dust buildup.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"These principles can also apply to computer or other electronic filing groupings.\\n\", \"Use an index for files not placed alphabetically. This should be alphabetically arranged so that you can quickly locate your files either way. Put this index at the front of the file.\\n\", \"Start by purging and sort through your piles of papers and use post-it notes to sort into categories, and then sub-categories.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,425 | How to Arrange a Place Setting for a Formal Dinner | 1. Arranging the Original Setting
1-1. Decide what courses you’re going to serve.
The ultimate setting you provide your guests with will depend on which courses you decide to serve; a five or seven course meal is typical for a formal dinner. Decide on your menu, keeping in mind that the typical courses are served in the following order:
First course: Appetizer/shellfish
Second course: Soup
Third course: Fish
Fourth course: Roast
Fifth course: Game (for a 5 course meal, the fourth/fifth courses are combined as the entrée of choice).
Sixth course: Salad (yes, salad really does come after the entrée)
Seventh course: Dessert
Eighth course: Fruit, cheese, and coffee (optional)
Ninth Course: Nuts and raisins (optional).
1-2. Select your utensils and dishes.
Prior to setting your table, you’ll need to make sure you have the proper utensils and dishes prepared. You’ll need one fork for each of the meat dishes (a seafood fork should be used for a seafood appetizer), a spoon for the soup and dessert, knives for the entrée, butter, and fish (if served), a charger, a dish for the butter/bread, and a selection of glasses (a water goblet, glass for white wine, glass for red wine, and a champagne flute are all options).
Each course is brought out of the kitchen on its own dish, so don’t worry about providing the dishes in the setting.
Prepare cloth napkins with napkin rings as an additional decorative element on the table.
1-3. Set the dishes.
The centerpiece of the place setting is the charger. This is a large dish that goes beneath each of the plates the courses are brought out on. The charger will remain on the table until after the entrée has been consumed, and then it should be removed along with the entrée plate. Place the charger in the center of each setting. The second dish that you should have is the butter/bread dish. This will be placed up and to the left of the charger.
When you remove plates before the entrée, leave the charger and take just the empty plates.
You should have an assortment of bread for your guests to eat, which is the purpose of the bread/butter dish.
Your cloth napkin should be placed on top of the charger.
1-4. Set your utensils.
Although having three forks, two knives, and two spoons may seem like a frightening prospect, their placement is actually quite simple. With you utensils, you use them from the outside in. So, on the left side of the charger, you should have your fish fork > salad fork > entrée fork. On the right side of your charger, you will place your dinner knife > fish knife > soup spoon. Above your plate aligned horizontally, you should place your dessert spoon and optional dessert fork. The butter knife should be placed diagonally across the butter/bread dish.
Each utensil will be removed from the table once it has been used.
If you’re not serving fish, then there is no need to place a fish fork and fish knife on the table.
If you serve shellfish as an appetizer, a shellfish fork should be placed to the right side of the soup spoon. This is the only fork that may be placed on the right side of the table.
Each of the utensils should be evenly spaced from each other and the charger.
1-5. Set your glasses.
The glasses you choose to use will vary on what you are serving with dinner. Traditionally, there is at least a water goblet and a glass for wine, but this may vary. Place the water goblet directly above the knife, level with the bread/butter dish. Add your wine glass to the right of that, typically above the soup spoon. If you add a third wine glass (for a different kind of wine), place it above and between the water glass and the first wine glass. An optional champagne flute can be included as well, and should be placed above and to the right of the first wine glass.
Similar to the utensils, your glasses should be placed in order of use.
Water is often served already in the glass, while wine and champagne are poured during the courses.
If you choose to serve coffee (as in a nine course meal), the coffee should be brought out in a demi-tasse (a type of espresso cup) at the end, and removed with the fruit/cheese plates.
2. Adjusting the Table Setting for Each Course
2-1. Set the table for soup.
For the first course of soup, there are two options: bring bowls of the same soup from the kitchen, or offer water or cream based soups and serve them in fresh dishes at the table. The former is served already poured in bowls and brought out from the kitchen. The latter is served (carefully) at the table into clean bowls. The soup bowls should be brought in on serving dishes in case of a spill. When everyone has finished eating their soup, the soup spoons should be placed (bowl-side up) on the right side of their bowl, on the serving plate.
The plate, bowl, and spoon should be removed from the table after the first course.
The bread and butter dish should remain on the table, even if they were used with the soup.
2-2. Set the table for fish.
With the soup removed, the fish course should be brought in on its own dish. This should be placed on the charger, and eaten with the fish knife and fish fork (the utensils furthest from the charger on either side). When the fish has been consumed, the fish fork and fish knife should be placed diagonally across the dish, with the handles of each placed on the ‘4:00’ mark as if the plate were a clock.
2-3. Set the table for the main course.
The main course should be brought out on a large plate that has been pre-warmed. This should go on the charger, and is eaten with the dinner fork and knife. When everyone is finished with the entrée, the plate can be removed along with the charger, the dinner fork, and the knife. The knife and fork are typically placed diagonally across the plate, in a similar fashion to the utensils used for the fish.
2-4. Set the table for the salad.
The salad is typically eaten after the entrée in a formal dinner. With the charger removed, place the salad plate in the center of the setting. This should be eaten with the last remaining fork. When the salad course is finished, the salad plate, salad fork, and bread/butter dish with the butter knife, and the wine/champagne glasses should all be removed. All that should be left is the water goblet and the dessert spoon (and optional dessert fork).
2-5. Set the table for dessert.
The final course of the evening is typically dessert and coffee, unless you’re serving a very formal nine course dinner. Regardless, the desert should be brought in on a plate and placed in the center of the setting, and a demi-tasse or teacup should be placed to the right of it below the water goblet with a teaspoon. Cream and sugar may be placed on the table for use in the coffee or tea, if desired. When dessert is completed, all the dishes should be removed, leaving a bare table.
Tips
Choose low centerpieces. You don't want to obstruct guests' views of each other or their conversations.
The most important thing to keep in mind when setting a table is to make sure your guests will be comfortable. With the increase in more casual dining, it's fun to pull out all the stops and set a formal table. Don't, however, lose sight of your guests' comfort and your own fun (that's often why we entertain). If you don't have all the trappings of a formal table, you can rent items or have some fun and improvise. Some of the best looking tables are the result of improvisation and using unexpected items.
In all but the most formal settings, don't be afraid to mix and match if you don't have enough matching tableware. Mixing and matching has become increasingly popular.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Arranging the Original Setting\\n1-1. Decide what courses you’re going to serve.\\nThe ultimate setting you provide your guests with will depend on which courses you decide to serve; a five or seven course meal is typical for a formal dinner. Decide on your menu, keeping in mind that the typical courses are served in the following order:\\nFirst course: Appetizer/shellfish\\nSecond course: Soup\\nThird course: Fish\\nFourth course: Roast\\nFifth course: Game (for a 5 course meal, the fourth/fifth courses are combined as the entrée of choice).\\nSixth course: Salad (yes, salad really does come after the entrée)\\nSeventh course: Dessert\\nEighth course: Fruit, cheese, and coffee (optional)\\nNinth Course: Nuts and raisins (optional).\\n1-2. Select your utensils and dishes.\\nPrior to setting your table, you’ll need to make sure you have the proper utensils and dishes prepared. You’ll need one fork for each of the meat dishes (a seafood fork should be used for a seafood appetizer), a spoon for the soup and dessert, knives for the entrée, butter, and fish (if served), a charger, a dish for the butter/bread, and a selection of glasses (a water goblet, glass for white wine, glass for red wine, and a champagne flute are all options).\\nEach course is brought out of the kitchen on its own dish, so don’t worry about providing the dishes in the setting.\\nPrepare cloth napkins with napkin rings as an additional decorative element on the table.\\n1-3. Set the dishes.\\nThe centerpiece of the place setting is the charger. This is a large dish that goes beneath each of the plates the courses are brought out on. The charger will remain on the table until after the entrée has been consumed, and then it should be removed along with the entrée plate. Place the charger in the center of each setting. The second dish that you should have is the butter/bread dish. This will be placed up and to the left of the charger.\\nWhen you remove plates before the entrée, leave the charger and take just the empty plates.\\nYou should have an assortment of bread for your guests to eat, which is the purpose of the bread/butter dish.\\nYour cloth napkin should be placed on top of the charger.\\n1-4. Set your utensils.\\nAlthough having three forks, two knives, and two spoons may seem like a frightening prospect, their placement is actually quite simple. With you utensils, you use them from the outside in. So, on the left side of the charger, you should have your fish fork > salad fork > entrée fork. On the right side of your charger, you will place your dinner knife > fish knife > soup spoon. Above your plate aligned horizontally, you should place your dessert spoon and optional dessert fork. The butter knife should be placed diagonally across the butter/bread dish.\\nEach utensil will be removed from the table once it has been used.\\nIf you’re not serving fish, then there is no need to place a fish fork and fish knife on the table.\\nIf you serve shellfish as an appetizer, a shellfish fork should be placed to the right side of the soup spoon. This is the only fork that may be placed on the right side of the table.\\nEach of the utensils should be evenly spaced from each other and the charger.\\n1-5. Set your glasses.\\nThe glasses you choose to use will vary on what you are serving with dinner. Traditionally, there is at least a water goblet and a glass for wine, but this may vary. Place the water goblet directly above the knife, level with the bread/butter dish. Add your wine glass to the right of that, typically above the soup spoon. If you add a third wine glass (for a different kind of wine), place it above and between the water glass and the first wine glass. An optional champagne flute can be included as well, and should be placed above and to the right of the first wine glass.\\nSimilar to the utensils, your glasses should be placed in order of use.\\nWater is often served already in the glass, while wine and champagne are poured during the courses.\\nIf you choose to serve coffee (as in a nine course meal), the coffee should be brought out in a demi-tasse (a type of espresso cup) at the end, and removed with the fruit/cheese plates.\\n2. Adjusting the Table Setting for Each Course\\n2-1. Set the table for soup.\\nFor the first course of soup, there are two options: bring bowls of the same soup from the kitchen, or offer water or cream based soups and serve them in fresh dishes at the table. The former is served already poured in bowls and brought out from the kitchen. The latter is served (carefully) at the table into clean bowls. The soup bowls should be brought in on serving dishes in case of a spill. When everyone has finished eating their soup, the soup spoons should be placed (bowl-side up) on the right side of their bowl, on the serving plate.\\nThe plate, bowl, and spoon should be removed from the table after the first course.\\nThe bread and butter dish should remain on the table, even if they were used with the soup.\\n2-2. Set the table for fish.\\nWith the soup removed, the fish course should be brought in on its own dish. This should be placed on the charger, and eaten with the fish knife and fish fork (the utensils furthest from the charger on either side). When the fish has been consumed, the fish fork and fish knife should be placed diagonally across the dish, with the handles of each placed on the ‘4:00’ mark as if the plate were a clock.\\n2-3. Set the table for the main course.\\nThe main course should be brought out on a large plate that has been pre-warmed. This should go on the charger, and is eaten with the dinner fork and knife. When everyone is finished with the entrée, the plate can be removed along with the charger, the dinner fork, and the knife. The knife and fork are typically placed diagonally across the plate, in a similar fashion to the utensils used for the fish.\\n2-4. Set the table for the salad.\\nThe salad is typically eaten after the entrée in a formal dinner. With the charger removed, place the salad plate in the center of the setting. This should be eaten with the last remaining fork. When the salad course is finished, the salad plate, salad fork, and bread/butter dish with the butter knife, and the wine/champagne glasses should all be removed. All that should be left is the water goblet and the dessert spoon (and optional dessert fork).\\n2-5. Set the table for dessert.\\nThe final course of the evening is typically dessert and coffee, unless you’re serving a very formal nine course dinner. Regardless, the desert should be brought in on a plate and placed in the center of the setting, and a demi-tasse or teacup should be placed to the right of it below the water goblet with a teaspoon. Cream and sugar may be placed on the table for use in the coffee or tea, if desired. When dessert is completed, all the dishes should be removed, leaving a bare table.\\nTips\\nChoose low centerpieces. You don't want to obstruct guests' views of each other or their conversations.\\nThe most important thing to keep in mind when setting a table is to make sure your guests will be comfortable. With the increase in more casual dining, it's fun to pull out all the stops and set a formal table. Don't, however, lose sight of your guests' comfort and your own fun (that's often why we entertain). If you don't have all the trappings of a formal table, you can rent items or have some fun and improvise. Some of the best looking tables are the result of improvisation and using unexpected items.\\nIn all but the most formal settings, don't be afraid to mix and match if you don't have enough matching tableware. Mixing and matching has become increasingly popular.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In today's hectic world of fast-food restaurants and TV dinners, it's easy to forget how to properly set the table for a formal dinner. While it may not be a skill you need often, occasions do still arise for which formal place settings are an absolute must. Learn the basics and you'll be ready to host (or attend!) any formal dinner with ease.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arranging the Original Setting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide what courses you’re going to serve.\", \"描述\": \"The ultimate setting you provide your guests with will depend on which courses you decide to serve; a five or seven course meal is typical for a formal dinner. Decide on your menu, keeping in mind that the typical courses are served in the following order:\\nFirst course: Appetizer/shellfish\\nSecond course: Soup\\nThird course: Fish\\nFourth course: Roast\\nFifth course: Game (for a 5 course meal, the fourth/fifth courses are combined as the entrée of choice).\\nSixth course: Salad (yes, salad really does come after the entrée)\\nSeventh course: Dessert\\nEighth course: Fruit, cheese, and coffee (optional)\\nNinth Course: Nuts and raisins (optional).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Select your utensils and dishes.\", \"描述\": \"Prior to setting your table, you’ll need to make sure you have the proper utensils and dishes prepared. You’ll need one fork for each of the meat dishes (a seafood fork should be used for a seafood appetizer), a spoon for the soup and dessert, knives for the entrée, butter, and fish (if served), a charger, a dish for the butter/bread, and a selection of glasses (a water goblet, glass for white wine, glass for red wine, and a champagne flute are all options).\\nEach course is brought out of the kitchen on its own dish, so don’t worry about providing the dishes in the setting.\\nPrepare cloth napkins with napkin rings as an additional decorative element on the table.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set the dishes.\", \"描述\": \"The centerpiece of the place setting is the charger. This is a large dish that goes beneath each of the plates the courses are brought out on. The charger will remain on the table until after the entrée has been consumed, and then it should be removed along with the entrée plate. Place the charger in the center of each setting. The second dish that you should have is the butter/bread dish. This will be placed up and to the left of the charger.\\nWhen you remove plates before the entrée, leave the charger and take just the empty plates.\\nYou should have an assortment of bread for your guests to eat, which is the purpose of the bread/butter dish.\\nYour cloth napkin should be placed on top of the charger.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set your utensils.\", \"描述\": \"Although having three forks, two knives, and two spoons may seem like a frightening prospect, their placement is actually quite simple. With you utensils, you use them from the outside in. So, on the left side of the charger, you should have your fish fork > salad fork > entrée fork. On the right side of your charger, you will place your dinner knife > fish knife > soup spoon. Above your plate aligned horizontally, you should place your dessert spoon and optional dessert fork. The butter knife should be placed diagonally across the butter/bread dish.\\nEach utensil will be removed from the table once it has been used.\\nIf you’re not serving fish, then there is no need to place a fish fork and fish knife on the table.\\nIf you serve shellfish as an appetizer, a shellfish fork should be placed to the right side of the soup spoon. This is the only fork that may be placed on the right side of the table.\\nEach of the utensils should be evenly spaced from each other and the charger.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set your glasses.\", \"描述\": \"The glasses you choose to use will vary on what you are serving with dinner. Traditionally, there is at least a water goblet and a glass for wine, but this may vary. Place the water goblet directly above the knife, level with the bread/butter dish. Add your wine glass to the right of that, typically above the soup spoon. If you add a third wine glass (for a different kind of wine), place it above and between the water glass and the first wine glass. An optional champagne flute can be included as well, and should be placed above and to the right of the first wine glass.\\nSimilar to the utensils, your glasses should be placed in order of use.\\nWater is often served already in the glass, while wine and champagne are poured during the courses.\\nIf you choose to serve coffee (as in a nine course meal), the coffee should be brought out in a demi-tasse (a type of espresso cup) at the end, and removed with the fruit/cheese plates.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adjusting the Table Setting for Each Course\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set the table for soup.\", \"描述\": \"For the first course of soup, there are two options: bring bowls of the same soup from the kitchen, or offer water or cream based soups and serve them in fresh dishes at the table. The former is served already poured in bowls and brought out from the kitchen. The latter is served (carefully) at the table into clean bowls. The soup bowls should be brought in on serving dishes in case of a spill. When everyone has finished eating their soup, the soup spoons should be placed (bowl-side up) on the right side of their bowl, on the serving plate.\\nThe plate, bowl, and spoon should be removed from the table after the first course.\\nThe bread and butter dish should remain on the table, even if they were used with the soup.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set the table for fish.\", \"描述\": \"With the soup removed, the fish course should be brought in on its own dish. This should be placed on the charger, and eaten with the fish knife and fish fork (the utensils furthest from the charger on either side). When the fish has been consumed, the fish fork and fish knife should be placed diagonally across the dish, with the handles of each placed on the ‘4:00’ mark as if the plate were a clock.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set the table for the main course.\", \"描述\": \"The main course should be brought out on a large plate that has been pre-warmed. This should go on the charger, and is eaten with the dinner fork and knife. When everyone is finished with the entrée, the plate can be removed along with the charger, the dinner fork, and the knife. The knife and fork are typically placed diagonally across the plate, in a similar fashion to the utensils used for the fish.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set the table for the salad.\", \"描述\": \"The salad is typically eaten after the entrée in a formal dinner. With the charger removed, place the salad plate in the center of the setting. This should be eaten with the last remaining fork. When the salad course is finished, the salad plate, salad fork, and bread/butter dish with the butter knife, and the wine/champagne glasses should all be removed. All that should be left is the water goblet and the dessert spoon (and optional dessert fork).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set the table for dessert.\", \"描述\": \"The final course of the evening is typically dessert and coffee, unless you’re serving a very formal nine course dinner. Regardless, the desert should be brought in on a plate and placed in the center of the setting, and a demi-tasse or teacup should be placed to the right of it below the water goblet with a teaspoon. Cream and sugar may be placed on the table for use in the coffee or tea, if desired. When dessert is completed, all the dishes should be removed, leaving a bare table.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Choose low centerpieces. You don't want to obstruct guests' views of each other or their conversations.\\n\", \"The most important thing to keep in mind when setting a table is to make sure your guests will be comfortable. With the increase in more casual dining, it's fun to pull out all the stops and set a formal table. Don't, however, lose sight of your guests' comfort and your own fun (that's often why we entertain). If you don't have all the trappings of a formal table, you can rent items or have some fun and improvise. Some of the best looking tables are the result of improvisation and using unexpected items.\\n\", \"In all but the most formal settings, don't be afraid to mix and match if you don't have enough matching tableware. Mixing and matching has become increasingly popular.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,426 | How to Arrange for Guardianship of an Impaired Adult | 1. Knowing the Alternatives
1-1. Determine what other legal documents exist.
Going through the legal guardianship process is only required if the adult in question does not already have other legal documents completed. If they have both an “advance heath care directive” (i.e. living will) and a “durable power of attorney for finances,” guardianship may not be required. Guardianship should be considered as a last resort that is only requested if all other legal options have been exhausted.
If the adult in question is not yet at the point where they are incapable of making their own decisions, it is still possible to obtain these legal documents in order to prepare for a future when they may become incapacitated. Preparing these types of documents well in advance is the easiest and fastest way to ensure the adult receives the support their require when the time comes.
1-2. Understand what a power of attorney is.
A power of attorney (POA), in general, is a legal document that appoints one or more people (or institution) with the ability to make decisions regarding the adult's affairs. A POA for property or finances appoints someone to make decisions regarding the adult’s financial assets or property. A POA for health care appoints someone to make decisions regarding the adult’s medical treatment.
There are different kinds of POA, including:
General POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage all items (either financial or health care related, unless otherwise excluded) for a specified period of time. This type of POA ends if the adult in question becomes incapacitated, and does not imply that the adult is incapable of managing their own affairs.
Specific POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage specific items until a specified date, or until the specific items are finished. An example of a specific POA might be to give someone authority to sign real estate documents for the sale of a property because the owner isn’t able to do so in person.
Durable POA — Is the same as a general POA, except that it allows the POA to continue if the adult becomes incapacitated. This type of POA has to specify that it is durable, otherwise it is considered general.
Springing POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage specific items at some future point in time. For example, this type of POA may indicate that it comes into effect if the adult becomes incapacitated, or if they are out of the country.
1-3. Read the details of a living will.
A living will, or an advance health care directive, is a legal document that outlines how a person’s “end-of-life” decisions should be handled. It is written in advance of those decisions needing to be made, and it is written by the actual person it is for. It provides that person with a voice when they may not be able to speak for themselves (i.e. unconscious).
A living will would only come into effect if the adult is unable to make the decisions directly.
A living will can be paired with a POA for health care, if required. Or it can outline some of the same responsibilities as a POA.
A living will can name one or more people to oversee the adult’s health care and allow those people to make decisions that are not explicitly outlined in the living will.
A living will often includes details on resuscitation and whether that adult wants any extreme measures to be taken should vital signs be lost.
1-4. Review whether bank accounts are joint.
A joint bank account is one that is “owned” by more than one person. A joint bank account can be an “either-or” situation or an “and” situation. An “either-or” situation is one where either of the account owners can do as they please with the account, they do not require the ‘permission’ of the other owner. An “and” situation is where both owners of the account must approve some or all transactions from the account.
If a bank account (or other bank products) are joint, and either owner can use the bank account on their own, then a separate POA is not required for that joint owner to access the account. If one of the joint owners of a bank account passes away, the other owner becomes the sole owner of the account and its assets.
If a bank account (or other bank products) are joint, but they require both owner’s approval to conduct transactions, a POA would be required to give permission to one owner to use the account without the approval of the other owner.
1-5. See if revocable living trusts exist.
A revocable living trust is essentially a will that can be used while the adult is still alive. It allows the estate to circumvent probate and allows the adult to have control over the assets for as long as they want. The primary trustee starts out as the original owner of the assets and is only transferred to one or more secondary trustees when certain criteria are met.
Trusts are very flexible and allow the owner a lot of control over where assets go and how they are used. For example, a trust can outline that a specific individual who inherits funds can only use those funds for specific purposes.
Trusts are not public, unlike wills. Therefore whatever is written in a trust is confidential and will only be shared with certain individuals.
Probate is a legal process all estates must go through, if no trust exists. Probate can be expensive and take a long time. In addition to the trust existing, all assets within the trust must be owned by trust (as opposed to specific individuals).
Living trusts can be revoked or changed at any time by the primary trustee or owner — just like a will.
1-6. Find out if a representative or substitute payee already exists.
A representative or substitute payee is only required if the adult in question receives funds from the Social Security Administration (SSA) of the United States. This payee is responsible to handle the payments from SS to the incapacitated individual. The payee is also responsible to handle the disbursement of these payments on behalf of the incapacitated individual.
If a representative payee already exists, that person is responsible to ensure the SS payments go to pay for the individual’s needs.
If a representative payee does not exist, you can apply to the SSA to become a payee. The SSA will conduct an investigation and will interview you before making a final decision.
2. Figuring Out If It’s Time
2-1. Realize that you are removing their constitutional rights.
When you arrange for guardianship of an adult, that adult loses a number of the rights they enjoyed as an adult. Consider whether this is the best option for them at the moment. Are there alternatives that could work, even temporarily? Would the removal of any of these rights cause them undue hardship? Or would the removal of any of these rights protect them and the people around them? Examples of the types of rights this adult would lose are as follows:
The right to decide where and how they want to live.
The right to determine what medical treatment they will and will not receive.
The right to decide whether they want any extraordinary measures to be taken if they’re dying.
The ability to have a driver’s license.
The ability to own, buy, sell and manage property of any kind.
The ability to own or possess a firearm or other type of weapon.
The ability to enter into contracts or file lawsuits against others.
The ability to marry someone.
The ability to vote in any type of election.
2-2. Talk to them to find out what they want.
Guardianship decisions are difficult and should not be made by you alone. When deciding if it’s time to obtain guardianship of a specific adult, ensure you take that adult's wishes into account. Hopefully you’ve had a chance to talk on the subject with this adult in the past, or can talk to them now. If not, think about what they believe in and value and make sure your decision aligns with those.
If the person is capable of it, review guardianship and its alternatives together and let them take the lead.
If they don't fully understand, do your best to give a summary in plain language, so they know what's going on and can make as many choices as they are able to.
This is a good time to think about the plans you need to make for your future, and the future of your other family members. When you have time, take the opportunity to sit and talk with them. Document your wishes, and those of your family members for future reference.
2-3. Understand which state has authority.
The state in which the adult (for whom guardianship is being sought) lives is the state who has authority over granting guardianship requests. And each state has slightly different procedures for granting guardianship that you must understand. Most, if not all, states have detailed procedural information on their websites to help you understand the process.
Note that the extent to which guardianship is granted is defined by the court. They will usually only grant enough authority to the guardian as is required to keep the adult safe — nothing more. The guardian must operate within the parameters set out by the court.
Guardianship can be granted to a family member, friend, or private or public entity, as seen fit by the court.
2-4. Determine the type of guardianship required.
Guardianship can be granted for a person or for an estate. You need to determine which type of guardianship may be required for the adult in question. Having guardianship of the person means you can make all decisions regarding their person (e.g. movement, education, medical, etc.). Having guardianship of an estate means you have the ability to oversee all the decisions regarding the property included in the estate (e.g. real estate, bank accounts, debt responsibilities, etc.).
Guardianship for a person may include having the following responsibilities:
Being able to determine where the adult should live, and how they live.
Being able to determine what medical treatment the adult receives.
Being able to decide what education and/or counselling the adult receives.
Consent to the release of confidential information about the adult.
Being able to make end-of-life decisions on behalf of the adult.
Acting as a representative payee for the adult.
Ensuring the adult can maintain the maximum amount of independence possible.
Reporting to the court regarding the adult on a regular basis.
Guardianship for an estate may include having the following responsibilities:
Being able to marshall and protect assets owned by the adult.
Being able to get property appraised.
Being able to make decisions that helps to protect property and assets from loss.
Being able to receive income from estate assets on behalf of the adult.
Being able to make whatever payouts and disbursements required by the estate.
Most likely you will be required to obtain court approval before selling any assets belonging to the adult.
Reporting to the court regarding the estate on a regular basis.
2-5. Decide who the guardian will be.
A guardian can be a family member, a friend, or another entity. The other ‘entity’ can include a professional guardian. Professional guardians are people who provide guardianship services as their job. They take specific training courses about guardianship and become certified as professional guardians.
Professional guardians may be useful to family members who do not reside near the person who needs a guardian.
Professional guardians will help to select and monitor any types of services required by the adult, such as selecting a nursing home or in-home care, approving medical treatment, etc.
Some professional guardians obtain access to the financial assets of the person for whom they are a guardian, in order to pay for the services the adult requires. However, those assets never become the property of the guardian, and the guardian must provide financial reports to the court on a regular basis for each person for whom they are a guardian.
Guardians, of any type, must be at least 18 years of age or older.
Unfortunately, sometimes family members disagree as to who should be appointed guardian. If there is more than one opinion as to who should be appointed, family members will need to present their option in court and provide evidence why that option is the best one. The final decision will be left up to the judge.
2-6. Be prepared to periodically check up with the adult.
You or someone else should be able to talk with them every once and a while to see if they feel that guardianship is suiting them well, and if they are having any problems. It's possible that the adult will gain more skills, and be ready for more independence than they could handle before.
Do they have any problems or frustrations? How could you fix or work around these issues?
What is working well?
What could be improved?
How has their situation changed lately? Are their needs and skills different?
It's important to help the adult feel that they have a say in the direction of their lives, even if they aren't capable of independence. Take time to listen to them and make them feel heard.
3. Understanding the Legal Process
3-1. Determine if emergency guardianship is required.
Guardianship can be granted by the court in emergency situations without going through the full legal proceedings. Emergency situations are normally restricted to a specific period of time and purpose, and must be followed up with a full guardianship proceeding if guardianship is to continue.
This process, while faster than the full proceedings, may still take several days.
3-2. Conduct a preliminary investigation.
Most states require that an investigation is conducted to determine if there is truly a need for guardianship. While the details about this investigation differ by state, in general the results should include:
An overview of the disability the adult has, and how that disability is affecting decision making capabilities.
An overview of the adult’s mental and health status, education, adaptive behaviour and social skills.
An opinion (by the investigator) regarding the need for guardianship, including supporting evidence of this opinion.
Recommendations for adult in question, including residence and treatment.
3-3. File a petition for guardianship.
A petition for guardianship needs to be filed within the court system in order to start the legal proceedings for the appointment of a guardian. The petition is filed by whomever is requesting guardianship (i.e. a family member or friend, doctor, etc.), not by the adult in need of a guardian.
Not all states require that this process be completed by a lawyer. However, it is certainly beneficial to — at the very least — consult a lawyer for advice before proceeding with the guardianship process.
Once a petition is filed, it can take up to 2 months before a guardian is legally appointed.
Some states do not charge a fee to file a guardianship petition, but check with the specific court where you file to confirm if there are any costs involved.
3-4. Submit a medical certificate or a clinical team report.
In some states, a medical certificate must be provided to the court at the time of the petition. This certificate is completed by a doctor, or other specific health care provider, and includes details of the medical examination of the person for which guardianship is being sought. In most cases the certificate will be a result of the preliminary investigation that was conducted earlier in the process. A clinical team report may be required in some states for someone who is being declared as "intellectually disabled."
The medical certificate cannot be dated more than 30 days before the date of the petition.
The clinical team report cannot be dated more than 180 days before the date of the petition.
The clinical team report must be completed by multiple people, normally a doctor, a licensed psychologist and a social worker.
3-5. Complete a Statement of Acts or Bond.
If you are the person requesting to be the guardian (or nominated to be the guardian) you will most likely need to file specific documents with the court before the hearing. Each state has slightly different requirements as to what forms are required. Some examples are noted here:
In the State of Wisconsin, each proposed guardian is required to file a Statement of Acts to the court at least 96 hours before the hearing. This statement includes information on the proposed guardian’s criminal and financial past, as well as any record of abuse, neglect or exploitation.
In the State of Massachusetts, each proposed guardian must file a Bond. The Bond will include the estimated value of the adult’s real estate and other financial assets. For the purpose of this Bond, the proposed guardian will be allowed to gather information about these assets, but they will not have any control over them until they are officially appointed.
3-6. Appoint a guardian ad litem.
Once a petition is filed requesting guardianship for a specific adult, the court will appoint that adult legal representation (also known as guardian ad litem). This lawyer will be someone who has not been involved with the adult previously and has no personal interest in the case. Their job is to objectively represent the legal rights of the adult for whom guardianship is being sought. The guardian ad litem has the following responsibilities:
They must meet with the adult in person and explain what the guardianship petition means. They will also explain to the adult what rights they have in the court proceedings.
They will determine what the adult’s opinion is regarding the guardianship request. While the guardian ad litem will take the adult’s opinions into account, in the end they’ll act in the best interests of the adult.
They will interview the proposed guardian(s) to evaluate fitness and suitability.
They will review any advanced planning that is already taken place for the adult, including POAs and other legal documents.
If necessary, they can request additional evaluations of the adult be conducted before the hearing.
They will provide the court with their opinion and recommendation as to the specific case, based on their research and investigation. These opinions and recommendations will be based on what is best for the adult in question, and what options will be least restrictive to this adult.
Note that the adult has the right to hire they own attorney for guardianship proceedings. The guardian ad litem is basing their opinion on what is best for the adult, not necessarily on what the adult may want.
3-7. Receive a summons to appear in court.
Once a petition is filed with the court system, a hearing date will be determined and communicated to all those involved. This communication will include a summons to the adult for whom guardianship is being requested. This is the “official” notice to that adult that someone is requesting they receive guardianship.
While this summons is the “official” notice form the courts to the adult in question, it is hopefully not the first time they’re hearing about such a proceeding. However, if the petition was filed by doctors or a service provider (i.e. nursing home), it may be the first time this person becomes aware of such a request.
Information pertaining to the hearing (i.e. date, time and place) is also provided to all interested parties (i.e. family members, proposed guardian, doctors, etc.) so they can attend the hearing if required.
3-8. Attend the court hearing.
The hearing for guardianship is conducted like any other type of court proceedings. Evidence is presented by both “sides” (i.e. the person requesting guardianship and the adult for whom guardianship is being requested). The adult in question is normally represented by a lawyer, who will act objectively on their behalf.
In most states, the hearing will occur within 90 days of the petition being filed.
The adult for whom guardianship is being requested has several rights in these proceedings, which include:
The right to be notified of, and to attend, all proceedings in person.
The right to obtain individual counsel to represent them.
The right to cross-examine witnesses at the hearing, and present their own evidence.
The right to request the hearing be conducted in front of a jury, instead of only a judge.
Many of these rights are obviously more important in cases where the adult is contesting the need for guardianship. If all sides have agreed that guardianship is required, the hearing may simply be part of the formal process to make it official.
3-9. File a guardianship care plan annually.
Once a guardian has been appointed by the court, they will most likely be required to submit a care plan within a certain period of time (such as 60 days). This report will include items such as: contact information; the adult’s current needs; the adult’s anticipated future needs; the adult’s financial situation; frequency of visitation; etc.
Normally the care plan is reviewed by the court and either approved or not approved. After the initial report, an annual report will be required to update the court on the adult’s situation.
Tips
The National Guardianship Association (NGA) is an organization provides support and information to people who work as professional guardians. They also provide a tool to help family members and friends find a professional guardian across the United States. Professional guardians who are members of the NGA follow a strict Standard of Practice that you can view online at https://www.guardianship.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Standards_of_Practice_2017.pdf.
To find a professional guardian, you can use the search function found on the NGA’s website at https://www.guardianship.org/find-a-guardian/.
The NGA also has a list of all state-based guardianship associations that are affiliates of the NGA. You can find the full list at https://www.guardianship.org/find-a-guardian/.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Knowing the Alternatives\\n1-1. Determine what other legal documents exist.\\nGoing through the legal guardianship process is only required if the adult in question does not already have other legal documents completed. If they have both an “advance heath care directive” (i.e. living will) and a “durable power of attorney for finances,” guardianship may not be required. Guardianship should be considered as a last resort that is only requested if all other legal options have been exhausted.\\nIf the adult in question is not yet at the point where they are incapable of making their own decisions, it is still possible to obtain these legal documents in order to prepare for a future when they may become incapacitated. Preparing these types of documents well in advance is the easiest and fastest way to ensure the adult receives the support their require when the time comes.\\n1-2. Understand what a power of attorney is.\\nA power of attorney (POA), in general, is a legal document that appoints one or more people (or institution) with the ability to make decisions regarding the adult's affairs. A POA for property or finances appoints someone to make decisions regarding the adult’s financial assets or property. A POA for health care appoints someone to make decisions regarding the adult’s medical treatment.\\nThere are different kinds of POA, including:\\n\\nGeneral POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage all items (either financial or health care related, unless otherwise excluded) for a specified period of time. This type of POA ends if the adult in question becomes incapacitated, and does not imply that the adult is incapable of managing their own affairs.\\nSpecific POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage specific items until a specified date, or until the specific items are finished. An example of a specific POA might be to give someone authority to sign real estate documents for the sale of a property because the owner isn’t able to do so in person.\\nDurable POA — Is the same as a general POA, except that it allows the POA to continue if the adult becomes incapacitated. This type of POA has to specify that it is durable, otherwise it is considered general.\\nSpringing POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage specific items at some future point in time. For example, this type of POA may indicate that it comes into effect if the adult becomes incapacitated, or if they are out of the country.\\n1-3. Read the details of a living will.\\nA living will, or an advance health care directive, is a legal document that outlines how a person’s “end-of-life” decisions should be handled. It is written in advance of those decisions needing to be made, and it is written by the actual person it is for. It provides that person with a voice when they may not be able to speak for themselves (i.e. unconscious).\\nA living will would only come into effect if the adult is unable to make the decisions directly.\\nA living will can be paired with a POA for health care, if required. Or it can outline some of the same responsibilities as a POA.\\nA living will can name one or more people to oversee the adult’s health care and allow those people to make decisions that are not explicitly outlined in the living will.\\nA living will often includes details on resuscitation and whether that adult wants any extreme measures to be taken should vital signs be lost.\\n1-4. Review whether bank accounts are joint.\\nA joint bank account is one that is “owned” by more than one person. A joint bank account can be an “either-or” situation or an “and” situation. An “either-or” situation is one where either of the account owners can do as they please with the account, they do not require the ‘permission’ of the other owner. An “and” situation is where both owners of the account must approve some or all transactions from the account.\\nIf a bank account (or other bank products) are joint, and either owner can use the bank account on their own, then a separate POA is not required for that joint owner to access the account. If one of the joint owners of a bank account passes away, the other owner becomes the sole owner of the account and its assets.\\nIf a bank account (or other bank products) are joint, but they require both owner’s approval to conduct transactions, a POA would be required to give permission to one owner to use the account without the approval of the other owner.\\n1-5. See if revocable living trusts exist.\\nA revocable living trust is essentially a will that can be used while the adult is still alive. It allows the estate to circumvent probate and allows the adult to have control over the assets for as long as they want. The primary trustee starts out as the original owner of the assets and is only transferred to one or more secondary trustees when certain criteria are met.\\nTrusts are very flexible and allow the owner a lot of control over where assets go and how they are used. For example, a trust can outline that a specific individual who inherits funds can only use those funds for specific purposes.\\nTrusts are not public, unlike wills. Therefore whatever is written in a trust is confidential and will only be shared with certain individuals.\\nProbate is a legal process all estates must go through, if no trust exists. Probate can be expensive and take a long time. In addition to the trust existing, all assets within the trust must be owned by trust (as opposed to specific individuals).\\nLiving trusts can be revoked or changed at any time by the primary trustee or owner — just like a will.\\n1-6. Find out if a representative or substitute payee already exists.\\nA representative or substitute payee is only required if the adult in question receives funds from the Social Security Administration (SSA) of the United States. This payee is responsible to handle the payments from SS to the incapacitated individual. The payee is also responsible to handle the disbursement of these payments on behalf of the incapacitated individual.\\nIf a representative payee already exists, that person is responsible to ensure the SS payments go to pay for the individual’s needs.\\nIf a representative payee does not exist, you can apply to the SSA to become a payee. The SSA will conduct an investigation and will interview you before making a final decision.\\n2. Figuring Out If It’s Time\\n2-1. Realize that you are removing their constitutional rights.\\nWhen you arrange for guardianship of an adult, that adult loses a number of the rights they enjoyed as an adult. Consider whether this is the best option for them at the moment. Are there alternatives that could work, even temporarily? Would the removal of any of these rights cause them undue hardship? Or would the removal of any of these rights protect them and the people around them? Examples of the types of rights this adult would lose are as follows:\\nThe right to decide where and how they want to live.\\nThe right to determine what medical treatment they will and will not receive.\\nThe right to decide whether they want any extraordinary measures to be taken if they’re dying.\\nThe ability to have a driver’s license.\\nThe ability to own, buy, sell and manage property of any kind.\\nThe ability to own or possess a firearm or other type of weapon.\\nThe ability to enter into contracts or file lawsuits against others.\\nThe ability to marry someone.\\nThe ability to vote in any type of election.\\n2-2. Talk to them to find out what they want.\\nGuardianship decisions are difficult and should not be made by you alone. When deciding if it’s time to obtain guardianship of a specific adult, ensure you take that adult's wishes into account. Hopefully you’ve had a chance to talk on the subject with this adult in the past, or can talk to them now. If not, think about what they believe in and value and make sure your decision aligns with those.\\nIf the person is capable of it, review guardianship and its alternatives together and let them take the lead.\\nIf they don't fully understand, do your best to give a summary in plain language, so they know what's going on and can make as many choices as they are able to.\\nThis is a good time to think about the plans you need to make for your future, and the future of your other family members. When you have time, take the opportunity to sit and talk with them. Document your wishes, and those of your family members for future reference.\\n2-3. Understand which state has authority.\\nThe state in which the adult (for whom guardianship is being sought) lives is the state who has authority over granting guardianship requests. And each state has slightly different procedures for granting guardianship that you must understand. Most, if not all, states have detailed procedural information on their websites to help you understand the process.\\nNote that the extent to which guardianship is granted is defined by the court. They will usually only grant enough authority to the guardian as is required to keep the adult safe — nothing more. The guardian must operate within the parameters set out by the court.\\nGuardianship can be granted to a family member, friend, or private or public entity, as seen fit by the court.\\n2-4. Determine the type of guardianship required.\\nGuardianship can be granted for a person or for an estate. You need to determine which type of guardianship may be required for the adult in question. Having guardianship of the person means you can make all decisions regarding their person (e.g. movement, education, medical, etc.). Having guardianship of an estate means you have the ability to oversee all the decisions regarding the property included in the estate (e.g. real estate, bank accounts, debt responsibilities, etc.).\\nGuardianship for a person may include having the following responsibilities:\\nBeing able to determine where the adult should live, and how they live.\\nBeing able to determine what medical treatment the adult receives.\\nBeing able to decide what education and/or counselling the adult receives.\\nConsent to the release of confidential information about the adult.\\nBeing able to make end-of-life decisions on behalf of the adult.\\nActing as a representative payee for the adult.\\nEnsuring the adult can maintain the maximum amount of independence possible.\\nReporting to the court regarding the adult on a regular basis.\\n\\nGuardianship for an estate may include having the following responsibilities:\\nBeing able to marshall and protect assets owned by the adult.\\nBeing able to get property appraised.\\nBeing able to make decisions that helps to protect property and assets from loss.\\nBeing able to receive income from estate assets on behalf of the adult.\\nBeing able to make whatever payouts and disbursements required by the estate.\\nMost likely you will be required to obtain court approval before selling any assets belonging to the adult.\\nReporting to the court regarding the estate on a regular basis.\\n2-5. Decide who the guardian will be.\\nA guardian can be a family member, a friend, or another entity. The other ‘entity’ can include a professional guardian. Professional guardians are people who provide guardianship services as their job. They take specific training courses about guardianship and become certified as professional guardians.\\nProfessional guardians may be useful to family members who do not reside near the person who needs a guardian.\\nProfessional guardians will help to select and monitor any types of services required by the adult, such as selecting a nursing home or in-home care, approving medical treatment, etc.\\nSome professional guardians obtain access to the financial assets of the person for whom they are a guardian, in order to pay for the services the adult requires. However, those assets never become the property of the guardian, and the guardian must provide financial reports to the court on a regular basis for each person for whom they are a guardian.\\nGuardians, of any type, must be at least 18 years of age or older.\\nUnfortunately, sometimes family members disagree as to who should be appointed guardian. If there is more than one opinion as to who should be appointed, family members will need to present their option in court and provide evidence why that option is the best one. The final decision will be left up to the judge.\\n2-6. Be prepared to periodically check up with the adult.\\nYou or someone else should be able to talk with them every once and a while to see if they feel that guardianship is suiting them well, and if they are having any problems. It's possible that the adult will gain more skills, and be ready for more independence than they could handle before.\\nDo they have any problems or frustrations? How could you fix or work around these issues?\\nWhat is working well?\\nWhat could be improved?\\nHow has their situation changed lately? Are their needs and skills different?\\nIt's important to help the adult feel that they have a say in the direction of their lives, even if they aren't capable of independence. Take time to listen to them and make them feel heard.\\n3. Understanding the Legal Process\\n3-1. Determine if emergency guardianship is required.\\nGuardianship can be granted by the court in emergency situations without going through the full legal proceedings. Emergency situations are normally restricted to a specific period of time and purpose, and must be followed up with a full guardianship proceeding if guardianship is to continue.\\nThis process, while faster than the full proceedings, may still take several days.\\n3-2. Conduct a preliminary investigation.\\nMost states require that an investigation is conducted to determine if there is truly a need for guardianship. While the details about this investigation differ by state, in general the results should include:\\nAn overview of the disability the adult has, and how that disability is affecting decision making capabilities.\\nAn overview of the adult’s mental and health status, education, adaptive behaviour and social skills.\\nAn opinion (by the investigator) regarding the need for guardianship, including supporting evidence of this opinion.\\nRecommendations for adult in question, including residence and treatment.\\n3-3. File a petition for guardianship.\\nA petition for guardianship needs to be filed within the court system in order to start the legal proceedings for the appointment of a guardian. The petition is filed by whomever is requesting guardianship (i.e. a family member or friend, doctor, etc.), not by the adult in need of a guardian.\\nNot all states require that this process be completed by a lawyer. However, it is certainly beneficial to — at the very least — consult a lawyer for advice before proceeding with the guardianship process.\\nOnce a petition is filed, it can take up to 2 months before a guardian is legally appointed.\\nSome states do not charge a fee to file a guardianship petition, but check with the specific court where you file to confirm if there are any costs involved.\\n3-4. Submit a medical certificate or a clinical team report.\\nIn some states, a medical certificate must be provided to the court at the time of the petition. This certificate is completed by a doctor, or other specific health care provider, and includes details of the medical examination of the person for which guardianship is being sought. In most cases the certificate will be a result of the preliminary investigation that was conducted earlier in the process. A clinical team report may be required in some states for someone who is being declared as \\\"intellectually disabled.\\\" \\nThe medical certificate cannot be dated more than 30 days before the date of the petition.\\nThe clinical team report cannot be dated more than 180 days before the date of the petition.\\nThe clinical team report must be completed by multiple people, normally a doctor, a licensed psychologist and a social worker.\\n3-5. Complete a Statement of Acts or Bond.\\nIf you are the person requesting to be the guardian (or nominated to be the guardian) you will most likely need to file specific documents with the court before the hearing. Each state has slightly different requirements as to what forms are required. Some examples are noted here:\\nIn the State of Wisconsin, each proposed guardian is required to file a Statement of Acts to the court at least 96 hours before the hearing. This statement includes information on the proposed guardian’s criminal and financial past, as well as any record of abuse, neglect or exploitation.\\nIn the State of Massachusetts, each proposed guardian must file a Bond. The Bond will include the estimated value of the adult’s real estate and other financial assets. For the purpose of this Bond, the proposed guardian will be allowed to gather information about these assets, but they will not have any control over them until they are officially appointed.\\n3-6. Appoint a guardian ad litem.\\nOnce a petition is filed requesting guardianship for a specific adult, the court will appoint that adult legal representation (also known as guardian ad litem). This lawyer will be someone who has not been involved with the adult previously and has no personal interest in the case. Their job is to objectively represent the legal rights of the adult for whom guardianship is being sought. The guardian ad litem has the following responsibilities:\\nThey must meet with the adult in person and explain what the guardianship petition means. They will also explain to the adult what rights they have in the court proceedings.\\nThey will determine what the adult’s opinion is regarding the guardianship request. While the guardian ad litem will take the adult’s opinions into account, in the end they’ll act in the best interests of the adult.\\nThey will interview the proposed guardian(s) to evaluate fitness and suitability.\\nThey will review any advanced planning that is already taken place for the adult, including POAs and other legal documents.\\nIf necessary, they can request additional evaluations of the adult be conducted before the hearing.\\nThey will provide the court with their opinion and recommendation as to the specific case, based on their research and investigation. These opinions and recommendations will be based on what is best for the adult in question, and what options will be least restrictive to this adult.\\nNote that the adult has the right to hire they own attorney for guardianship proceedings. The guardian ad litem is basing their opinion on what is best for the adult, not necessarily on what the adult may want.\\n3-7. Receive a summons to appear in court.\\nOnce a petition is filed with the court system, a hearing date will be determined and communicated to all those involved. This communication will include a summons to the adult for whom guardianship is being requested. This is the “official” notice to that adult that someone is requesting they receive guardianship.\\nWhile this summons is the “official” notice form the courts to the adult in question, it is hopefully not the first time they’re hearing about such a proceeding. However, if the petition was filed by doctors or a service provider (i.e. nursing home), it may be the first time this person becomes aware of such a request.\\nInformation pertaining to the hearing (i.e. date, time and place) is also provided to all interested parties (i.e. family members, proposed guardian, doctors, etc.) so they can attend the hearing if required.\\n3-8. Attend the court hearing.\\nThe hearing for guardianship is conducted like any other type of court proceedings. Evidence is presented by both “sides” (i.e. the person requesting guardianship and the adult for whom guardianship is being requested). The adult in question is normally represented by a lawyer, who will act objectively on their behalf.\\nIn most states, the hearing will occur within 90 days of the petition being filed.\\nThe adult for whom guardianship is being requested has several rights in these proceedings, which include:\\nThe right to be notified of, and to attend, all proceedings in person.\\nThe right to obtain individual counsel to represent them.\\nThe right to cross-examine witnesses at the hearing, and present their own evidence.\\nThe right to request the hearing be conducted in front of a jury, instead of only a judge.\\n\\nMany of these rights are obviously more important in cases where the adult is contesting the need for guardianship. If all sides have agreed that guardianship is required, the hearing may simply be part of the formal process to make it official.\\n3-9. File a guardianship care plan annually.\\nOnce a guardian has been appointed by the court, they will most likely be required to submit a care plan within a certain period of time (such as 60 days). This report will include items such as: contact information; the adult’s current needs; the adult’s anticipated future needs; the adult’s financial situation; frequency of visitation; etc. \\nNormally the care plan is reviewed by the court and either approved or not approved. After the initial report, an annual report will be required to update the court on the adult’s situation.\\nTips\\nThe National Guardianship Association (NGA) is an organization provides support and information to people who work as professional guardians. They also provide a tool to help family members and friends find a professional guardian across the United States. Professional guardians who are members of the NGA follow a strict Standard of Practice that you can view online at https://www.guardianship.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Standards_of_Practice_2017.pdf.\\nTo find a professional guardian, you can use the search function found on the NGA’s website at https://www.guardianship.org/find-a-guardian/.\\nThe NGA also has a list of all state-based guardianship associations that are affiliates of the NGA. You can find the full list at https://www.guardianship.org/find-a-guardian/.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Guardianship, also known as conservatorship, is a legal process used when an adult is no longer able to make safe and reasonable decisions about health care or property. Guardianship is a serious decision that should not be taken lightly as it removes many of the legal rights this adult currently holds. There are alternatives to guardianship that should be considered first, if the situation allows for it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Knowing the Alternatives\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine what other legal documents exist.\", \"描述\": \"Going through the legal guardianship process is only required if the adult in question does not already have other legal documents completed. If they have both an “advance heath care directive” (i.e. living will) and a “durable power of attorney for finances,” guardianship may not be required. Guardianship should be considered as a last resort that is only requested if all other legal options have been exhausted.\\nIf the adult in question is not yet at the point where they are incapable of making their own decisions, it is still possible to obtain these legal documents in order to prepare for a future when they may become incapacitated. Preparing these types of documents well in advance is the easiest and fastest way to ensure the adult receives the support their require when the time comes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand what a power of attorney is.\", \"描述\": \"A power of attorney (POA), in general, is a legal document that appoints one or more people (or institution) with the ability to make decisions regarding the adult's affairs. A POA for property or finances appoints someone to make decisions regarding the adult’s financial assets or property. A POA for health care appoints someone to make decisions regarding the adult’s medical treatment.\\nThere are different kinds of POA, including:\\n\\nGeneral POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage all items (either financial or health care related, unless otherwise excluded) for a specified period of time. This type of POA ends if the adult in question becomes incapacitated, and does not imply that the adult is incapable of managing their own affairs.\\nSpecific POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage specific items until a specified date, or until the specific items are finished. An example of a specific POA might be to give someone authority to sign real estate documents for the sale of a property because the owner isn’t able to do so in person.\\nDurable POA — Is the same as a general POA, except that it allows the POA to continue if the adult becomes incapacitated. This type of POA has to specify that it is durable, otherwise it is considered general.\\nSpringing POA — Provides specific people with the authority to manage specific items at some future point in time. For example, this type of POA may indicate that it comes into effect if the adult becomes incapacitated, or if they are out of the country.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read the details of a living will.\", \"描述\": \"A living will, or an advance health care directive, is a legal document that outlines how a person’s “end-of-life” decisions should be handled. It is written in advance of those decisions needing to be made, and it is written by the actual person it is for. It provides that person with a voice when they may not be able to speak for themselves (i.e. unconscious).\\nA living will would only come into effect if the adult is unable to make the decisions directly.\\nA living will can be paired with a POA for health care, if required. Or it can outline some of the same responsibilities as a POA.\\nA living will can name one or more people to oversee the adult’s health care and allow those people to make decisions that are not explicitly outlined in the living will.\\nA living will often includes details on resuscitation and whether that adult wants any extreme measures to be taken should vital signs be lost.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Review whether bank accounts are joint.\", \"描述\": \"A joint bank account is one that is “owned” by more than one person. A joint bank account can be an “either-or” situation or an “and” situation. An “either-or” situation is one where either of the account owners can do as they please with the account, they do not require the ‘permission’ of the other owner. An “and” situation is where both owners of the account must approve some or all transactions from the account.\\nIf a bank account (or other bank products) are joint, and either owner can use the bank account on their own, then a separate POA is not required for that joint owner to access the account. If one of the joint owners of a bank account passes away, the other owner becomes the sole owner of the account and its assets.\\nIf a bank account (or other bank products) are joint, but they require both owner’s approval to conduct transactions, a POA would be required to give permission to one owner to use the account without the approval of the other owner.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"See if revocable living trusts exist.\", \"描述\": \"A revocable living trust is essentially a will that can be used while the adult is still alive. It allows the estate to circumvent probate and allows the adult to have control over the assets for as long as they want. The primary trustee starts out as the original owner of the assets and is only transferred to one or more secondary trustees when certain criteria are met.\\nTrusts are very flexible and allow the owner a lot of control over where assets go and how they are used. For example, a trust can outline that a specific individual who inherits funds can only use those funds for specific purposes.\\nTrusts are not public, unlike wills. Therefore whatever is written in a trust is confidential and will only be shared with certain individuals.\\nProbate is a legal process all estates must go through, if no trust exists. Probate can be expensive and take a long time. In addition to the trust existing, all assets within the trust must be owned by trust (as opposed to specific individuals).\\nLiving trusts can be revoked or changed at any time by the primary trustee or owner — just like a will.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Find out if a representative or substitute payee already exists.\", \"描述\": \"A representative or substitute payee is only required if the adult in question receives funds from the Social Security Administration (SSA) of the United States. This payee is responsible to handle the payments from SS to the incapacitated individual. The payee is also responsible to handle the disbursement of these payments on behalf of the incapacitated individual.\\nIf a representative payee already exists, that person is responsible to ensure the SS payments go to pay for the individual’s needs.\\nIf a representative payee does not exist, you can apply to the SSA to become a payee. The SSA will conduct an investigation and will interview you before making a final decision.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Figuring Out If It’s Time\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize that you are removing their constitutional rights.\", \"描述\": \"When you arrange for guardianship of an adult, that adult loses a number of the rights they enjoyed as an adult. Consider whether this is the best option for them at the moment. Are there alternatives that could work, even temporarily? Would the removal of any of these rights cause them undue hardship? Or would the removal of any of these rights protect them and the people around them? Examples of the types of rights this adult would lose are as follows:\\nThe right to decide where and how they want to live.\\nThe right to determine what medical treatment they will and will not receive.\\nThe right to decide whether they want any extraordinary measures to be taken if they’re dying.\\nThe ability to have a driver’s license.\\nThe ability to own, buy, sell and manage property of any kind.\\nThe ability to own or possess a firearm or other type of weapon.\\nThe ability to enter into contracts or file lawsuits against others.\\nThe ability to marry someone.\\nThe ability to vote in any type of election.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to them to find out what they want.\", \"描述\": \"Guardianship decisions are difficult and should not be made by you alone. When deciding if it’s time to obtain guardianship of a specific adult, ensure you take that adult's wishes into account. Hopefully you’ve had a chance to talk on the subject with this adult in the past, or can talk to them now. If not, think about what they believe in and value and make sure your decision aligns with those.\\nIf the person is capable of it, review guardianship and its alternatives together and let them take the lead.\\nIf they don't fully understand, do your best to give a summary in plain language, so they know what's going on and can make as many choices as they are able to.\\nThis is a good time to think about the plans you need to make for your future, and the future of your other family members. When you have time, take the opportunity to sit and talk with them. Document your wishes, and those of your family members for future reference.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand which state has authority.\", \"描述\": \"The state in which the adult (for whom guardianship is being sought) lives is the state who has authority over granting guardianship requests. And each state has slightly different procedures for granting guardianship that you must understand. Most, if not all, states have detailed procedural information on their websites to help you understand the process.\\nNote that the extent to which guardianship is granted is defined by the court. They will usually only grant enough authority to the guardian as is required to keep the adult safe — nothing more. The guardian must operate within the parameters set out by the court.\\nGuardianship can be granted to a family member, friend, or private or public entity, as seen fit by the court.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Determine the type of guardianship required.\", \"描述\": \"Guardianship can be granted for a person or for an estate. You need to determine which type of guardianship may be required for the adult in question. Having guardianship of the person means you can make all decisions regarding their person (e.g. movement, education, medical, etc.). Having guardianship of an estate means you have the ability to oversee all the decisions regarding the property included in the estate (e.g. real estate, bank accounts, debt responsibilities, etc.).\\nGuardianship for a person may include having the following responsibilities:\\nBeing able to determine where the adult should live, and how they live.\\nBeing able to determine what medical treatment the adult receives.\\nBeing able to decide what education and/or counselling the adult receives.\\nConsent to the release of confidential information about the adult.\\nBeing able to make end-of-life decisions on behalf of the adult.\\nActing as a representative payee for the adult.\\nEnsuring the adult can maintain the maximum amount of independence possible.\\nReporting to the court regarding the adult on a regular basis.\\n\\nGuardianship for an estate may include having the following responsibilities:\\nBeing able to marshall and protect assets owned by the adult.\\nBeing able to get property appraised.\\nBeing able to make decisions that helps to protect property and assets from loss.\\nBeing able to receive income from estate assets on behalf of the adult.\\nBeing able to make whatever payouts and disbursements required by the estate.\\nMost likely you will be required to obtain court approval before selling any assets belonging to the adult.\\nReporting to the court regarding the estate on a regular basis.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Decide who the guardian will be.\", \"描述\": \"A guardian can be a family member, a friend, or another entity. The other ‘entity’ can include a professional guardian. Professional guardians are people who provide guardianship services as their job. They take specific training courses about guardianship and become certified as professional guardians.\\nProfessional guardians may be useful to family members who do not reside near the person who needs a guardian.\\nProfessional guardians will help to select and monitor any types of services required by the adult, such as selecting a nursing home or in-home care, approving medical treatment, etc.\\nSome professional guardians obtain access to the financial assets of the person for whom they are a guardian, in order to pay for the services the adult requires. However, those assets never become the property of the guardian, and the guardian must provide financial reports to the court on a regular basis for each person for whom they are a guardian.\\nGuardians, of any type, must be at least 18 years of age or older.\\nUnfortunately, sometimes family members disagree as to who should be appointed guardian. If there is more than one opinion as to who should be appointed, family members will need to present their option in court and provide evidence why that option is the best one. The final decision will be left up to the judge.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to periodically check up with the adult.\", \"描述\": \"You or someone else should be able to talk with them every once and a while to see if they feel that guardianship is suiting them well, and if they are having any problems. It's possible that the adult will gain more skills, and be ready for more independence than they could handle before.\\nDo they have any problems or frustrations? How could you fix or work around these issues?\\nWhat is working well?\\nWhat could be improved?\\nHow has their situation changed lately? Are their needs and skills different?\\nIt's important to help the adult feel that they have a say in the direction of their lives, even if they aren't capable of independence. Take time to listen to them and make them feel heard.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understanding the Legal Process\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine if emergency guardianship is required.\", \"描述\": \"Guardianship can be granted by the court in emergency situations without going through the full legal proceedings. Emergency situations are normally restricted to a specific period of time and purpose, and must be followed up with a full guardianship proceeding if guardianship is to continue.\\nThis process, while faster than the full proceedings, may still take several days.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Conduct a preliminary investigation.\", \"描述\": \"Most states require that an investigation is conducted to determine if there is truly a need for guardianship. While the details about this investigation differ by state, in general the results should include:\\nAn overview of the disability the adult has, and how that disability is affecting decision making capabilities.\\nAn overview of the adult’s mental and health status, education, adaptive behaviour and social skills.\\nAn opinion (by the investigator) regarding the need for guardianship, including supporting evidence of this opinion.\\nRecommendations for adult in question, including residence and treatment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"File a petition for guardianship.\", \"描述\": \"A petition for guardianship needs to be filed within the court system in order to start the legal proceedings for the appointment of a guardian. The petition is filed by whomever is requesting guardianship (i.e. a family member or friend, doctor, etc.), not by the adult in need of a guardian.\\nNot all states require that this process be completed by a lawyer. However, it is certainly beneficial to — at the very least — consult a lawyer for advice before proceeding with the guardianship process.\\nOnce a petition is filed, it can take up to 2 months before a guardian is legally appointed.\\nSome states do not charge a fee to file a guardianship petition, but check with the specific court where you file to confirm if there are any costs involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Submit a medical certificate or a clinical team report.\", \"描述\": \"In some states, a medical certificate must be provided to the court at the time of the petition. This certificate is completed by a doctor, or other specific health care provider, and includes details of the medical examination of the person for which guardianship is being sought. In most cases the certificate will be a result of the preliminary investigation that was conducted earlier in the process. A clinical team report may be required in some states for someone who is being declared as \\\"intellectually disabled.\\\" \\nThe medical certificate cannot be dated more than 30 days before the date of the petition.\\nThe clinical team report cannot be dated more than 180 days before the date of the petition.\\nThe clinical team report must be completed by multiple people, normally a doctor, a licensed psychologist and a social worker.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Complete a Statement of Acts or Bond.\", \"描述\": \"If you are the person requesting to be the guardian (or nominated to be the guardian) you will most likely need to file specific documents with the court before the hearing. Each state has slightly different requirements as to what forms are required. Some examples are noted here:\\nIn the State of Wisconsin, each proposed guardian is required to file a Statement of Acts to the court at least 96 hours before the hearing. This statement includes information on the proposed guardian’s criminal and financial past, as well as any record of abuse, neglect or exploitation.\\nIn the State of Massachusetts, each proposed guardian must file a Bond. The Bond will include the estimated value of the adult’s real estate and other financial assets. For the purpose of this Bond, the proposed guardian will be allowed to gather information about these assets, but they will not have any control over them until they are officially appointed.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Appoint a guardian ad litem.\", \"描述\": \"Once a petition is filed requesting guardianship for a specific adult, the court will appoint that adult legal representation (also known as guardian ad litem). This lawyer will be someone who has not been involved with the adult previously and has no personal interest in the case. Their job is to objectively represent the legal rights of the adult for whom guardianship is being sought. The guardian ad litem has the following responsibilities:\\nThey must meet with the adult in person and explain what the guardianship petition means. They will also explain to the adult what rights they have in the court proceedings.\\nThey will determine what the adult’s opinion is regarding the guardianship request. While the guardian ad litem will take the adult’s opinions into account, in the end they’ll act in the best interests of the adult.\\nThey will interview the proposed guardian(s) to evaluate fitness and suitability.\\nThey will review any advanced planning that is already taken place for the adult, including POAs and other legal documents.\\nIf necessary, they can request additional evaluations of the adult be conducted before the hearing.\\nThey will provide the court with their opinion and recommendation as to the specific case, based on their research and investigation. These opinions and recommendations will be based on what is best for the adult in question, and what options will be least restrictive to this adult.\\nNote that the adult has the right to hire they own attorney for guardianship proceedings. The guardian ad litem is basing their opinion on what is best for the adult, not necessarily on what the adult may want.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Receive a summons to appear in court.\", \"描述\": \"Once a petition is filed with the court system, a hearing date will be determined and communicated to all those involved. This communication will include a summons to the adult for whom guardianship is being requested. This is the “official” notice to that adult that someone is requesting they receive guardianship.\\nWhile this summons is the “official” notice form the courts to the adult in question, it is hopefully not the first time they’re hearing about such a proceeding. However, if the petition was filed by doctors or a service provider (i.e. nursing home), it may be the first time this person becomes aware of such a request.\\nInformation pertaining to the hearing (i.e. date, time and place) is also provided to all interested parties (i.e. family members, proposed guardian, doctors, etc.) so they can attend the hearing if required.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Attend the court hearing.\", \"描述\": \"The hearing for guardianship is conducted like any other type of court proceedings. Evidence is presented by both “sides” (i.e. the person requesting guardianship and the adult for whom guardianship is being requested). The adult in question is normally represented by a lawyer, who will act objectively on their behalf.\\nIn most states, the hearing will occur within 90 days of the petition being filed.\\nThe adult for whom guardianship is being requested has several rights in these proceedings, which include:\\nThe right to be notified of, and to attend, all proceedings in person.\\nThe right to obtain individual counsel to represent them.\\nThe right to cross-examine witnesses at the hearing, and present their own evidence.\\nThe right to request the hearing be conducted in front of a jury, instead of only a judge.\\n\\nMany of these rights are obviously more important in cases where the adult is contesting the need for guardianship. If all sides have agreed that guardianship is required, the hearing may simply be part of the formal process to make it official.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"File a guardianship care plan annually.\", \"描述\": \"Once a guardian has been appointed by the court, they will most likely be required to submit a care plan within a certain period of time (such as 60 days). This report will include items such as: contact information; the adult’s current needs; the adult’s anticipated future needs; the adult’s financial situation; frequency of visitation; etc. \\nNormally the care plan is reviewed by the court and either approved or not approved. After the initial report, an annual report will be required to update the court on the adult’s situation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"The National Guardianship Association (NGA) is an organization provides support and information to people who work as professional guardians. They also provide a tool to help family members and friends find a professional guardian across the United States. Professional guardians who are members of the NGA follow a strict Standard of Practice that you can view online at https://www.guardianship.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Standards_of_Practice_2017.pdf.\\n\", \"To find a professional guardian, you can use the search function found on the NGA’s website at https://www.guardianship.org/find-a-guardian/.\\n\", \"The NGA also has a list of all state-based guardianship associations that are affiliates of the NGA. You can find the full list at https://www.guardianship.org/find-a-guardian/.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,427 | How to Arrest Someone | 1. Arresting a Suspect as a Police Officer
1-1. Confirm you have reason to arrest.
Legally, you can only make an arrest in a limited number of circumstances. For example, you can arrest someone in the following situations:
You have an arrest warrant signed by a judge.
You observed a crime being committed.
You have probable cause to believe the suspect has committed a crime. To find probable cause, you must have specific facts and not a hunch that the person has committed a crime.
1-2. Immobilize the suspect.
To make the arrest easier, you need to stop the suspect’s movements. You can use many different methods, such as verbal commands or Tasers. Your police force should have a “use of force” policy that lays out what force you can use and when. Know this policy by heart. If you don’t follow it, you can be sued for excessive use of force.
Typically, the manual will explain a continuum of force. For example, you can start by issuing a verbal command: “Let me see your ID” or “Stop.” If the suspect doesn’t comply, you can use empty hand controls such as grabs or holds. The officer can increase the force up the continuum until the suspect complies.
The final point on the continuum is deadly force. Your manual will explain the situations in which deadly force is appropriate.
Use of force is so important you should receive training on it before being allowed into the field. Ask a supervisor if you have questions.
1-3. Gain control of the suspect.
Once you immobilize the suspect, you need to control them. If you don’t, then you can injure yourself as you try to get the cuffs on. If necessary, you may need to move up the use of force continuum until you get sufficient control.
Be alert for the suspect to attempt to break free at any point before they are handcuffed.
1-4. Handcuff the suspect.
You should handcuff someone behind their back. If you handcuff in the front, they have too much freedom to move and may reach for a weapon or hurt you. Always cuff in back.
Always place the backs of the hands together. This prevents suspects from sliding their hands down to the feet.
After cuffing, make sure the handcuffs aren’t too tight. Also confirm they are secure.
1-5. Search the suspect.
After cuffing the suspect, you should search them. Search for a weapon or other evidence of a crime. You can never be too careful. Search everyone, regardless of their gender, age, size, or race. Even very young and very old suspects have killed police officers.
You might not be able to conduct your search immediately after arrest. For example, weather conditions might prevent a safe search. Also, you might have arrested someone with a mob of people around you. Move the suspect to a secure location before searching.
Check the waist and groin areas first. A weapon is most likely stored there.
Also be sure to conduct a second, more thorough search. If necessary, ask another officer to search the suspect as well.
1-6. Transport the suspect.
Remain vigilant during the transport. You might relax, thinking everything is under control because the cuffed suspect is in the backseat. However, the suspect’s anxiety will increase the closer you get to your destination. Accordingly, you should be prepared for erratic or irrational behavior when you near the end of the transport.
Remember to search the subject each time you transfer them to another officer or drop them off at a location. You might have overlooked a weapon, or the suspect could have obtained one during transport.
1-7. Give Miranda warnings if you want to ask questions.
Once a suspect is in custody, you can’t interrogate them without giving Miranda warnings. If you don't give the warnings, then the prosecutor can't use the suspect's statements in court. There are four warnings:
The suspect has the right to remain silent.
Any statement the suspect makes can and will be used against them in court.
They have the right to an attorney.
If the suspect can’t afford an attorney, one will be provided to them.
2. Making a Citizen’s Arrest
2-1. Identify if you have reason to make an arrest.
In some countries, private citizens can make arrests even if they are not sworn police officers. However, you can only make arrests in certain limited situations, which vary by location:
You suspect the person has committed a felony, such as murder, rape, burglary, etc. However, your suspicion must be reasonable. Furthermore, the felony must actually have been committed. If it didn’t, you can be legally liable for the arrest.
In Canada, and in some U.S. states, you must have actually observed the violent crime being committed before you can make a citizen’s arrest.
Someone is breaching the peace. In many U.S. states, you can make a citizen’s arrest if you personally witnessed someone breaching the peace. For example, someone breaches the peace by fighting or making a loud disturbance.
2-2. Consider the risks.
You shouldn’t attempt a citizen’s arrest without consider the risks and consequences. For example, quickly analyze the following:
Does the suspect have a gun, knife, or other weapon? You don’t want to jeopardize your own safety or the safety of those around you by attempting an arrest.
Is there a police officer nearby, or can you quickly call one? It is better to involve trained police. If possible, you can focus on getting a detailed, accurate description of the suspect instead of attempting an arrest.
Can you quickly turn over the suspect to the police? If not, then don’t make an arrest.
Do you know whether the suspect committed a felony? What qualifies as a felony differs depending on the state or country. If you're unsure, simply report the suspicious conduct to the police.
2-3. State you are making a citizen’s arrest.
You’ll need to give an explicit warning that you are arresting the person. Shout, “Stop! I’m making a citizen’s arrest!” This will give the suspect a chance to turn themselves over.
Also give the suspect a reason why you are arresting them. For example, "You're breaching the peace by fighting" is a sufficient reason.
2-4. Use reasonable force to subdue the person.
You cannot use excessive force in order to make an arrest. Instead, use only the amount of force necessary to subdue the suspect. For example, if the person struggles only briefly, you can’t give him a left hook that knocks him out cold.
A suspect might be desperate to avoid arrest. If so, they could put up quite a fight. Always remember to protect your own safety.
If the arrest turns into a brawl, you should let the suspect go.
2-5. Call the police.
As soon as possible, either call the police or ask another bystander to call the police. Don’t delay, since the arrested might become agitated.
Ask the suspect to cooperate. Say, “Will you calm down? The police are coming. You don’t want to make any more trouble.”
2-6. Avoid questioning or searching the suspect.
In the United States, a citizen’s arrest is not subject to the same Constitutional requirements as a police officer’s arrest. Accordingly, you aren’t prohibited from asking questions or searching the suspect. However, you probably should avoid doing so. Leave it to the police when they arrive.
If you make an arrest at the request of the police, then your arrest is subject to the Constitution’s restraints.
However, suspects can blurt out incriminating information. For example, a suspect might shout, “I didn’t know the gun was loaded!” Don’t follow up with questions, but you can give the police this information.
2-7. Tell the officer what happened.
When the police arrive, give the facts of the incident. Be as accurate as possible and answer any questions about why you suspected the person of committing a crime. Also discuss what you did and said to arrest the person.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Arresting a Suspect as a Police Officer\\n1-1. Confirm you have reason to arrest.\\nLegally, you can only make an arrest in a limited number of circumstances. For example, you can arrest someone in the following situations:\\nYou have an arrest warrant signed by a judge.\\nYou observed a crime being committed.\\nYou have probable cause to believe the suspect has committed a crime. To find probable cause, you must have specific facts and not a hunch that the person has committed a crime.\\n1-2. Immobilize the suspect.\\nTo make the arrest easier, you need to stop the suspect’s movements. You can use many different methods, such as verbal commands or Tasers. Your police force should have a “use of force” policy that lays out what force you can use and when. Know this policy by heart. If you don’t follow it, you can be sued for excessive use of force.\\nTypically, the manual will explain a continuum of force. For example, you can start by issuing a verbal command: “Let me see your ID” or “Stop.” If the suspect doesn’t comply, you can use empty hand controls such as grabs or holds. The officer can increase the force up the continuum until the suspect complies.\\nThe final point on the continuum is deadly force. Your manual will explain the situations in which deadly force is appropriate.\\nUse of force is so important you should receive training on it before being allowed into the field. Ask a supervisor if you have questions.\\n1-3. Gain control of the suspect.\\nOnce you immobilize the suspect, you need to control them. If you don’t, then you can injure yourself as you try to get the cuffs on. If necessary, you may need to move up the use of force continuum until you get sufficient control.\\nBe alert for the suspect to attempt to break free at any point before they are handcuffed.\\n1-4. Handcuff the suspect.\\nYou should handcuff someone behind their back. If you handcuff in the front, they have too much freedom to move and may reach for a weapon or hurt you. Always cuff in back.\\nAlways place the backs of the hands together. This prevents suspects from sliding their hands down to the feet.\\nAfter cuffing, make sure the handcuffs aren’t too tight. Also confirm they are secure.\\n1-5. Search the suspect.\\nAfter cuffing the suspect, you should search them. Search for a weapon or other evidence of a crime. You can never be too careful. Search everyone, regardless of their gender, age, size, or race. Even very young and very old suspects have killed police officers.\\nYou might not be able to conduct your search immediately after arrest. For example, weather conditions might prevent a safe search. Also, you might have arrested someone with a mob of people around you. Move the suspect to a secure location before searching.\\nCheck the waist and groin areas first. A weapon is most likely stored there.\\nAlso be sure to conduct a second, more thorough search. If necessary, ask another officer to search the suspect as well.\\n1-6. Transport the suspect.\\nRemain vigilant during the transport. You might relax, thinking everything is under control because the cuffed suspect is in the backseat. However, the suspect’s anxiety will increase the closer you get to your destination. Accordingly, you should be prepared for erratic or irrational behavior when you near the end of the transport.\\nRemember to search the subject each time you transfer them to another officer or drop them off at a location. You might have overlooked a weapon, or the suspect could have obtained one during transport.\\n1-7. Give Miranda warnings if you want to ask questions.\\nOnce a suspect is in custody, you can’t interrogate them without giving Miranda warnings. If you don't give the warnings, then the prosecutor can't use the suspect's statements in court. There are four warnings:\\nThe suspect has the right to remain silent.\\nAny statement the suspect makes can and will be used against them in court.\\nThey have the right to an attorney.\\nIf the suspect can’t afford an attorney, one will be provided to them.\\n2. Making a Citizen’s Arrest\\n2-1. Identify if you have reason to make an arrest.\\nIn some countries, private citizens can make arrests even if they are not sworn police officers. However, you can only make arrests in certain limited situations, which vary by location:\\nYou suspect the person has committed a felony, such as murder, rape, burglary, etc. However, your suspicion must be reasonable. Furthermore, the felony must actually have been committed. If it didn’t, you can be legally liable for the arrest.\\nIn Canada, and in some U.S. states, you must have actually observed the violent crime being committed before you can make a citizen’s arrest.\\n\\nSomeone is breaching the peace. In many U.S. states, you can make a citizen’s arrest if you personally witnessed someone breaching the peace. For example, someone breaches the peace by fighting or making a loud disturbance.\\n2-2. Consider the risks.\\nYou shouldn’t attempt a citizen’s arrest without consider the risks and consequences. For example, quickly analyze the following:\\nDoes the suspect have a gun, knife, or other weapon? You don’t want to jeopardize your own safety or the safety of those around you by attempting an arrest.\\nIs there a police officer nearby, or can you quickly call one? It is better to involve trained police. If possible, you can focus on getting a detailed, accurate description of the suspect instead of attempting an arrest.\\nCan you quickly turn over the suspect to the police? If not, then don’t make an arrest.\\nDo you know whether the suspect committed a felony? What qualifies as a felony differs depending on the state or country. If you're unsure, simply report the suspicious conduct to the police.\\n2-3. State you are making a citizen’s arrest.\\nYou’ll need to give an explicit warning that you are arresting the person. Shout, “Stop! I’m making a citizen’s arrest!” This will give the suspect a chance to turn themselves over.\\nAlso give the suspect a reason why you are arresting them. For example, \\\"You're breaching the peace by fighting\\\" is a sufficient reason.\\n2-4. Use reasonable force to subdue the person.\\nYou cannot use excessive force in order to make an arrest. Instead, use only the amount of force necessary to subdue the suspect. For example, if the person struggles only briefly, you can’t give him a left hook that knocks him out cold.\\nA suspect might be desperate to avoid arrest. If so, they could put up quite a fight. Always remember to protect your own safety.\\nIf the arrest turns into a brawl, you should let the suspect go.\\n2-5. Call the police.\\nAs soon as possible, either call the police or ask another bystander to call the police. Don’t delay, since the arrested might become agitated.\\nAsk the suspect to cooperate. Say, “Will you calm down? The police are coming. You don’t want to make any more trouble.”\\n2-6. Avoid questioning or searching the suspect.\\nIn the United States, a citizen’s arrest is not subject to the same Constitutional requirements as a police officer’s arrest. Accordingly, you aren’t prohibited from asking questions or searching the suspect. However, you probably should avoid doing so. Leave it to the police when they arrive.\\nIf you make an arrest at the request of the police, then your arrest is subject to the Constitution’s restraints.\\nHowever, suspects can blurt out incriminating information. For example, a suspect might shout, “I didn’t know the gun was loaded!” Don’t follow up with questions, but you can give the police this information.\\n2-7. Tell the officer what happened.\\nWhen the police arrive, give the facts of the incident. Be as accurate as possible and answer any questions about why you suspected the person of committing a crime. Also discuss what you did and said to arrest the person.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Arresting someone is complicated. You must have a legal reason to make the arrest, and you must follow certain procedures when making the arrest. Police officers should be given a detailed policy explaining the amount of force that is appropriate depending on the circumstances. If police use too much force, then can be sued. Although citizens can make arrests in many countries, they should carefully analyze the situation. Often, it makes better sense to simply call the police.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arresting a Suspect as a Police Officer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Confirm you have reason to arrest.\", \"描述\": \"Legally, you can only make an arrest in a limited number of circumstances. For example, you can arrest someone in the following situations:\\nYou have an arrest warrant signed by a judge.\\nYou observed a crime being committed.\\nYou have probable cause to believe the suspect has committed a crime. To find probable cause, you must have specific facts and not a hunch that the person has committed a crime.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Immobilize the suspect.\", \"描述\": \"To make the arrest easier, you need to stop the suspect’s movements. You can use many different methods, such as verbal commands or Tasers. Your police force should have a “use of force” policy that lays out what force you can use and when. Know this policy by heart. If you don’t follow it, you can be sued for excessive use of force.\\nTypically, the manual will explain a continuum of force. For example, you can start by issuing a verbal command: “Let me see your ID” or “Stop.” If the suspect doesn’t comply, you can use empty hand controls such as grabs or holds. The officer can increase the force up the continuum until the suspect complies.\\nThe final point on the continuum is deadly force. Your manual will explain the situations in which deadly force is appropriate.\\nUse of force is so important you should receive training on it before being allowed into the field. Ask a supervisor if you have questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gain control of the suspect.\", \"描述\": \"Once you immobilize the suspect, you need to control them. If you don’t, then you can injure yourself as you try to get the cuffs on. If necessary, you may need to move up the use of force continuum until you get sufficient control.\\nBe alert for the suspect to attempt to break free at any point before they are handcuffed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Handcuff the suspect.\", \"描述\": \"You should handcuff someone behind their back. If you handcuff in the front, they have too much freedom to move and may reach for a weapon or hurt you. Always cuff in back.\\nAlways place the backs of the hands together. This prevents suspects from sliding their hands down to the feet.\\nAfter cuffing, make sure the handcuffs aren’t too tight. Also confirm they are secure.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Search the suspect.\", \"描述\": \"After cuffing the suspect, you should search them. Search for a weapon or other evidence of a crime. You can never be too careful. Search everyone, regardless of their gender, age, size, or race. Even very young and very old suspects have killed police officers.\\nYou might not be able to conduct your search immediately after arrest. For example, weather conditions might prevent a safe search. Also, you might have arrested someone with a mob of people around you. Move the suspect to a secure location before searching.\\nCheck the waist and groin areas first. A weapon is most likely stored there.\\nAlso be sure to conduct a second, more thorough search. If necessary, ask another officer to search the suspect as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Transport the suspect.\", \"描述\": \"Remain vigilant during the transport. You might relax, thinking everything is under control because the cuffed suspect is in the backseat. However, the suspect’s anxiety will increase the closer you get to your destination. Accordingly, you should be prepared for erratic or irrational behavior when you near the end of the transport.\\nRemember to search the subject each time you transfer them to another officer or drop them off at a location. You might have overlooked a weapon, or the suspect could have obtained one during transport.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give Miranda warnings if you want to ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"Once a suspect is in custody, you can’t interrogate them without giving Miranda warnings. If you don't give the warnings, then the prosecutor can't use the suspect's statements in court. There are four warnings:\\nThe suspect has the right to remain silent.\\nAny statement the suspect makes can and will be used against them in court.\\nThey have the right to an attorney.\\nIf the suspect can’t afford an attorney, one will be provided to them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making a Citizen’s Arrest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify if you have reason to make an arrest.\", \"描述\": \"In some countries, private citizens can make arrests even if they are not sworn police officers. However, you can only make arrests in certain limited situations, which vary by location:\\nYou suspect the person has committed a felony, such as murder, rape, burglary, etc. However, your suspicion must be reasonable. Furthermore, the felony must actually have been committed. If it didn’t, you can be legally liable for the arrest.\\nIn Canada, and in some U.S. states, you must have actually observed the violent crime being committed before you can make a citizen’s arrest.\\n\\nSomeone is breaching the peace. In many U.S. states, you can make a citizen’s arrest if you personally witnessed someone breaching the peace. For example, someone breaches the peace by fighting or making a loud disturbance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider the risks.\", \"描述\": \"You shouldn’t attempt a citizen’s arrest without consider the risks and consequences. For example, quickly analyze the following:\\nDoes the suspect have a gun, knife, or other weapon? You don’t want to jeopardize your own safety or the safety of those around you by attempting an arrest.\\nIs there a police officer nearby, or can you quickly call one? It is better to involve trained police. If possible, you can focus on getting a detailed, accurate description of the suspect instead of attempting an arrest.\\nCan you quickly turn over the suspect to the police? If not, then don’t make an arrest.\\nDo you know whether the suspect committed a felony? What qualifies as a felony differs depending on the state or country. If you're unsure, simply report the suspicious conduct to the police.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"State you are making a citizen’s arrest.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll need to give an explicit warning that you are arresting the person. Shout, “Stop! I’m making a citizen’s arrest!” This will give the suspect a chance to turn themselves over.\\nAlso give the suspect a reason why you are arresting them. For example, \\\"You're breaching the peace by fighting\\\" is a sufficient reason.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use reasonable force to subdue the person.\", \"描述\": \"You cannot use excessive force in order to make an arrest. Instead, use only the amount of force necessary to subdue the suspect. For example, if the person struggles only briefly, you can’t give him a left hook that knocks him out cold.\\nA suspect might be desperate to avoid arrest. If so, they could put up quite a fight. Always remember to protect your own safety.\\nIf the arrest turns into a brawl, you should let the suspect go.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Call the police.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as possible, either call the police or ask another bystander to call the police. Don’t delay, since the arrested might become agitated.\\nAsk the suspect to cooperate. Say, “Will you calm down? The police are coming. You don’t want to make any more trouble.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid questioning or searching the suspect.\", \"描述\": \"In the United States, a citizen’s arrest is not subject to the same Constitutional requirements as a police officer’s arrest. Accordingly, you aren’t prohibited from asking questions or searching the suspect. However, you probably should avoid doing so. Leave it to the police when they arrive.\\nIf you make an arrest at the request of the police, then your arrest is subject to the Constitution’s restraints.\\nHowever, suspects can blurt out incriminating information. For example, a suspect might shout, “I didn’t know the gun was loaded!” Don’t follow up with questions, but you can give the police this information.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tell the officer what happened.\", \"描述\": \"When the police arrive, give the facts of the incident. Be as accurate as possible and answer any questions about why you suspected the person of committing a crime. Also discuss what you did and said to arrest the person.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,428 | How to Artificially Inseminate Cows and Heifers | 1. Watch the Females, then Get them In
1-1. Watch your cows and/or heifers for signs of estrus.
Females go into heat once every ~21 days, and the heat periods themselves last for 24 hours.
Check out this article: How to Tell if a Cow or Heifer is in Estrus for physiological, behavioral and physical signs of heat.
Most heat periods start or end around dusk or dawn.
1-2. Twelve (12) hours after estrus is when females should be AI'd.
This time period is when the female ovulates, sending an ovum out to the fallopian tube to await fertilization from sperm from a bull.
1-3. Calmly, with proper handling practices put the heifers or cows in to the working alley to the squeeze chute (or alleyway with just a head gate is good enough), and catch the first female in the head gate.
If there are others behind her, make sure they are back behind another gate to prevent them from squishing you when they try to move up further in the race. If you have a squeeze chute with a palpation cage attached to it, use this as a means to do your AI'ing. Some barns are set up so that each cow is in a stanchion or head-catch lined up beside one another. This is very convenient for the AI tech who has to AI over 50 cows in one day!
If doing AI outside, it is best to do it on sunny warm days, not when the weather is rainy or windy or even stormy. If you have a facility that is set up inside a shed or barn, so much the better!
2. Preparations Prior to Insemination
2-1. Prepare a water bath that is between 90 to 95 degrees Fahrenheit (or 34 to 35 degrees Celsius) in a thermos.
Use a thermometer for better accuracy.
2-2. Identify which canister contains the semen you need.
A semen inventory on the tank that keeps track of the location of each bull prevents any unnecessary searching.
2-3. Remove the canister from its storage location to the center of the tank.
Lift the canister just high enough into the neck region of the tank to grasp the desired cane of semen. Keep the tops of the canister or canes no higher than the frost line, or two to three inches from the top of the tank.
2-4. Grasp the desired cane then immediately lower the canister to the tank floor.
Keep the cane as low inside the tank as possible while removing the straw of semen with tweezers.
2-5. Shake the straw to remove excess liquid nitrogen (nitrogen quickly goes into a gaseous state when exposed to air and warmer temperatures)
2-6. Immediately place it the prepared thermos of water and keep it in there for 40 to 45 seconds.
The warm water should be around 95ºF (35ºC) for optimum thawing of the semen straws.
2-7. After the straw is put in to the warm water, put the can back in the canister by raising the canister up and over the cane and return the canister to its storage position.
Anytime it takes over 10 seconds to locate a cane the canister must be lowered back into the tank to cool completely. Never return a unit of semen to the tank once you've removed it from the cane.
2-8. Get your AI gun ready by having it pre-assembled (this should be done before/after you prep the thermos with warm water.
If it's cold outside, warm the "business end" of the gun up in your coveralls close to your body so it warms up completely. Rubbing a paper towel on the rod also helps warm it up. If it's hot outside, keep it in a cool place. The AI gun should not be extremely hot nor cold to the touch.
2-9. Remove the straw from the thermos and wipe it dry with a paper towel.
It should be completely dry before you do anything else with it. Flick your wrist slightly, while holding the crimped end, to adjust the air bubble in the straw. The flick should move the bubble to the end you are holding
2-10. Put the straw in the rod.
Clip 1/2" (or 1 cm) from the crimped end of the straw. Use sharp scissors or specially designed straw-cutter scissors should be used, and cut in the area that the air bubble is located.
2-11. Wrap the AI gun in a clean dry paper towel or protective sheath and tuck it in your clothing close to your body to both transport it to the cow and to maintain a constant temperature.
3. Artificially Inseminating the Female Bovine
3-1. Move the tail so it's on top of your left forearm or tie it up so it will not interfere with the AI process.
Raise the tail with one hand (preferably the right) and with the other (which should be gloved and lubricated), gently reach inside the cow to clean out any feces that may interfere with the process of feeling for and inserting the AI gun into the cow's vagina.
3-2. Clean the vulva with a clean paper towel or rag to remove excess manure and debris.
3-3. Take the gun out of your jacket or overalls, unwrap it, then insert it at a 30 degree angle into the cow's vulva.
This is so that you avoid going into the urethral opening into the bladder.
3-4. With your left hand in the rectum of the cow (which should have been there to begin with), feel with your finger tips through the wall of the rectum and vagina the location of the end of the AI gun until you reach the cervix.
3-5. Grasp the cervix with the hand in the rectum of the cow (like you would hold a bar that is below your hand) and hold it steady while you thread the rod into and through the cow's cervix.
3-6. When the rod is all the way through the cervix, check the location with your index finger.
The rod should be only 1/2 to 1/4 of an inch into the uterus.
3-7. Slowly depress the plunger at the end where your right hand is so that 1/2 or is deposited.
3-8. Recheck the location of the semen to make sure you are in the cow's uterus and not in any of her "blind spots" (see tips below), and deposit the other half of the straw's contents.
3-9. Slowly remove the AI gun, your hand and arm from inside the cow.
Check for any blood, infection or semen "feedback" from inside the sheath.
3-10. Recheck the straw to see if you used the right bull semen for the cow.
3-11. Dispose the straw, glove, and towels in the proper place.
3-12. Clean the AI gun if necessary.
3-13. Record breeding information on any record keeping system you have on hand.
3-14. Release the cow (if necessary, depending on the breeding set-up you have) and restrain the next one to be inseminated.
3-15. Recheck the temperature of the water in the thermos before repeating the steps above for another cow.
3-16. Repeat the steps above for the next cow.
Tips
Always keep inseminating equipment clean, warm and dry.
Inseminating equipment should avoid contact with lubricants at all time, because most lubes are spermicides.
Liquid nitrogen is the best solution to use to keep semen cold and keep them for a long time.
Warnings
Low conception rates are common in cows done by inexperienced technicians.
Beware of those blind spots mentioned above in Tips
AI is actually a lot harder than it sounds. A lot of errors can be made in the location of the pipette (or rod or AI gun) in the cow's uterine tract, because often the location of the pipette is easily moved, and it is impossible to check pipette placement.
Never artificially inseminate cows yourself unless you are very experienced and have the necessary training.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Watch the Females, then Get them In\\n1-1. Watch your cows and/or heifers for signs of estrus.\\nFemales go into heat once every ~21 days, and the heat periods themselves last for 24 hours.\\nCheck out this article: How to Tell if a Cow or Heifer is in Estrus for physiological, behavioral and physical signs of heat.\\nMost heat periods start or end around dusk or dawn.\\n1-2. Twelve (12) hours after estrus is when females should be AI'd.\\nThis time period is when the female ovulates, sending an ovum out to the fallopian tube to await fertilization from sperm from a bull.\\n1-3. Calmly, with proper handling practices put the heifers or cows in to the working alley to the squeeze chute (or alleyway with just a head gate is good enough), and catch the first female in the head gate.\\nIf there are others behind her, make sure they are back behind another gate to prevent them from squishing you when they try to move up further in the race. If you have a squeeze chute with a palpation cage attached to it, use this as a means to do your AI'ing. Some barns are set up so that each cow is in a stanchion or head-catch lined up beside one another. This is very convenient for the AI tech who has to AI over 50 cows in one day!\\nIf doing AI outside, it is best to do it on sunny warm days, not when the weather is rainy or windy or even stormy. If you have a facility that is set up inside a shed or barn, so much the better!\\n2. Preparations Prior to Insemination\\n2-1. Prepare a water bath that is between 90 to 95 degrees Fahrenheit (or 34 to 35 degrees Celsius) in a thermos.\\nUse a thermometer for better accuracy.\\n2-2. Identify which canister contains the semen you need.\\nA semen inventory on the tank that keeps track of the location of each bull prevents any unnecessary searching.\\n2-3. Remove the canister from its storage location to the center of the tank.\\nLift the canister just high enough into the neck region of the tank to grasp the desired cane of semen. Keep the tops of the canister or canes no higher than the frost line, or two to three inches from the top of the tank.\\n2-4. Grasp the desired cane then immediately lower the canister to the tank floor.\\nKeep the cane as low inside the tank as possible while removing the straw of semen with tweezers.\\n2-5. Shake the straw to remove excess liquid nitrogen (nitrogen quickly goes into a gaseous state when exposed to air and warmer temperatures)\\n\\n\\n2-6. Immediately place it the prepared thermos of water and keep it in there for 40 to 45 seconds.\\nThe warm water should be around 95ºF (35ºC) for optimum thawing of the semen straws.\\n2-7. After the straw is put in to the warm water, put the can back in the canister by raising the canister up and over the cane and return the canister to its storage position.\\nAnytime it takes over 10 seconds to locate a cane the canister must be lowered back into the tank to cool completely. Never return a unit of semen to the tank once you've removed it from the cane.\\n2-8. Get your AI gun ready by having it pre-assembled (this should be done before/after you prep the thermos with warm water.\\nIf it's cold outside, warm the \\\"business end\\\" of the gun up in your coveralls close to your body so it warms up completely. Rubbing a paper towel on the rod also helps warm it up. If it's hot outside, keep it in a cool place. The AI gun should not be extremely hot nor cold to the touch.\\n2-9. Remove the straw from the thermos and wipe it dry with a paper towel.\\nIt should be completely dry before you do anything else with it. Flick your wrist slightly, while holding the crimped end, to adjust the air bubble in the straw. The flick should move the bubble to the end you are holding\\n2-10. Put the straw in the rod.\\nClip 1/2\\\" (or 1 cm) from the crimped end of the straw. Use sharp scissors or specially designed straw-cutter scissors should be used, and cut in the area that the air bubble is located.\\n2-11. Wrap the AI gun in a clean dry paper towel or protective sheath and tuck it in your clothing close to your body to both transport it to the cow and to maintain a constant temperature.\\n\\n3. Artificially Inseminating the Female Bovine\\n3-1. Move the tail so it's on top of your left forearm or tie it up so it will not interfere with the AI process.\\nRaise the tail with one hand (preferably the right) and with the other (which should be gloved and lubricated), gently reach inside the cow to clean out any feces that may interfere with the process of feeling for and inserting the AI gun into the cow's vagina.\\n3-2. Clean the vulva with a clean paper towel or rag to remove excess manure and debris.\\n\\n3-3. Take the gun out of your jacket or overalls, unwrap it, then insert it at a 30 degree angle into the cow's vulva.\\nThis is so that you avoid going into the urethral opening into the bladder.\\n3-4. With your left hand in the rectum of the cow (which should have been there to begin with), feel with your finger tips through the wall of the rectum and vagina the location of the end of the AI gun until you reach the cervix.\\n\\n3-5. Grasp the cervix with the hand in the rectum of the cow (like you would hold a bar that is below your hand) and hold it steady while you thread the rod into and through the cow's cervix.\\n\\n3-6. When the rod is all the way through the cervix, check the location with your index finger.\\nThe rod should be only 1/2 to 1/4 of an inch into the uterus.\\n3-7. Slowly depress the plunger at the end where your right hand is so that 1/2 or is deposited.\\n\\n3-8. Recheck the location of the semen to make sure you are in the cow's uterus and not in any of her \\\"blind spots\\\" (see tips below), and deposit the other half of the straw's contents.\\n\\n3-9. Slowly remove the AI gun, your hand and arm from inside the cow.\\nCheck for any blood, infection or semen \\\"feedback\\\" from inside the sheath.\\n3-10. Recheck the straw to see if you used the right bull semen for the cow.\\n\\n3-11. Dispose the straw, glove, and towels in the proper place.\\n\\n3-12. Clean the AI gun if necessary.\\n\\n3-13. Record breeding information on any record keeping system you have on hand.\\n\\n3-14. Release the cow (if necessary, depending on the breeding set-up you have) and restrain the next one to be inseminated.\\n\\n3-15. Recheck the temperature of the water in the thermos before repeating the steps above for another cow.\\n\\n3-16. Repeat the steps above for the next cow.\\n\\nTips\\nAlways keep inseminating equipment clean, warm and dry.\\nInseminating equipment should avoid contact with lubricants at all time, because most lubes are spermicides.\\nLiquid nitrogen is the best solution to use to keep semen cold and keep them for a long time.\\nWarnings\\nLow conception rates are common in cows done by inexperienced technicians.\\nBeware of those blind spots mentioned above in Tips\\nAI is actually a lot harder than it sounds. A lot of errors can be made in the location of the pipette (or rod or AI gun) in the cow's uterine tract, because often the location of the pipette is easily moved, and it is impossible to check pipette placement.\\nNever artificially inseminate cows yourself unless you are very experienced and have the necessary training.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Artificial Insemination (AI) is the second-most common practice of breeding livestock--well, it's the only alternative to breeding livestock next to natural breeding using a male over females. AI is, however, much more common in dairy production than in beef production, though AI is gaining ground in beef breeding herds due to the increased access and marketing of superior and favourable proven sires. Knowing how to AI cattle is important in order to achieve a high success rate in cattle breeding herds where owning a herd bull is not profitable nor recommended. \\n\\nThe following steps are a reasonably detailed article of what is involved in AI'ing cattle. In order to fully understand how AI is done and to even gain certification for being able to AI livestock, visit a bull semen marketing company like Semex, Genex, Select Sires, or any other bull-semen dispersal company. Check to see if they host any programs for AI certification or becoming a certified AI tech that you can attend to learn more about artificial insemination.This is helpful if you have not yet got a bull to help you breed. \\n\\nPlease also consider using an experienced certified AI tech to AI your cows. These people are better to use than training yourself to do it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch the Females, then Get them In\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch your cows and/or heifers for signs of estrus.\", \"描述\": \"Females go into heat once every ~21 days, and the heat periods themselves last for 24 hours.\\nCheck out this article: How to Tell if a Cow or Heifer is in Estrus for physiological, behavioral and physical signs of heat.\\nMost heat periods start or end around dusk or dawn.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Twelve (12) hours after estrus is when females should be AI'd.\", \"描述\": \"This time period is when the female ovulates, sending an ovum out to the fallopian tube to await fertilization from sperm from a bull.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Calmly, with proper handling practices put the heifers or cows in to the working alley to the squeeze chute (or alleyway with just a head gate is good enough), and catch the first female in the head gate.\", \"描述\": \"If there are others behind her, make sure they are back behind another gate to prevent them from squishing you when they try to move up further in the race. If you have a squeeze chute with a palpation cage attached to it, use this as a means to do your AI'ing. Some barns are set up so that each cow is in a stanchion or head-catch lined up beside one another. This is very convenient for the AI tech who has to AI over 50 cows in one day!\\nIf doing AI outside, it is best to do it on sunny warm days, not when the weather is rainy or windy or even stormy. If you have a facility that is set up inside a shed or barn, so much the better!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparations Prior to Insemination\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare a water bath that is between 90 to 95 degrees Fahrenheit (or 34 to 35 degrees Celsius) in a thermos.\", \"描述\": \"Use a thermometer for better accuracy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Identify which canister contains the semen you need.\", \"描述\": \"A semen inventory on the tank that keeps track of the location of each bull prevents any unnecessary searching.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remove the canister from its storage location to the center of the tank.\", \"描述\": \"Lift the canister just high enough into the neck region of the tank to grasp the desired cane of semen. Keep the tops of the canister or canes no higher than the frost line, or two to three inches from the top of the tank.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Grasp the desired cane then immediately lower the canister to the tank floor.\", \"描述\": \"Keep the cane as low inside the tank as possible while removing the straw of semen with tweezers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Shake the straw to remove excess liquid nitrogen (nitrogen quickly goes into a gaseous state when exposed to air and warmer temperatures)\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Immediately place it the prepared thermos of water and keep it in there for 40 to 45 seconds.\", \"描述\": \"The warm water should be around 95ºF (35ºC) for optimum thawing of the semen straws.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"After the straw is put in to the warm water, put the can back in the canister by raising the canister up and over the cane and return the canister to its storage position.\", \"描述\": \"Anytime it takes over 10 seconds to locate a cane the canister must be lowered back into the tank to cool completely. Never return a unit of semen to the tank once you've removed it from the cane.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Get your AI gun ready by having it pre-assembled (this should be done before/after you prep the thermos with warm water.\", \"描述\": \"If it's cold outside, warm the \\\"business end\\\" of the gun up in your coveralls close to your body so it warms up completely. Rubbing a paper towel on the rod also helps warm it up. If it's hot outside, keep it in a cool place. The AI gun should not be extremely hot nor cold to the touch.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Remove the straw from the thermos and wipe it dry with a paper towel.\", \"描述\": \"It should be completely dry before you do anything else with it. Flick your wrist slightly, while holding the crimped end, to adjust the air bubble in the straw. The flick should move the bubble to the end you are holding\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Put the straw in the rod.\", \"描述\": \"Clip 1/2\\\" (or 1 cm) from the crimped end of the straw. Use sharp scissors or specially designed straw-cutter scissors should be used, and cut in the area that the air bubble is located.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Wrap the AI gun in a clean dry paper towel or protective sheath and tuck it in your clothing close to your body to both transport it to the cow and to maintain a constant temperature.\", \"描述\": \"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Artificially Inseminating the Female Bovine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Move the tail so it's on top of your left forearm or tie it up so it will not interfere with the AI process.\", \"描述\": \"Raise the tail with one hand (preferably the right) and with the other (which should be gloved and lubricated), gently reach inside the cow to clean out any feces that may interfere with the process of feeling for and inserting the AI gun into the cow's vagina.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Clean the vulva with a clean paper towel or rag to remove excess manure and debris.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take the gun out of your jacket or overalls, unwrap it, then insert it at a 30 degree angle into the cow's vulva.\", \"描述\": \"This is so that you avoid going into the urethral opening into the bladder.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"With your left hand in the rectum of the cow (which should have been there to begin with), feel with your finger tips through the wall of the rectum and vagina the location of the end of the AI gun until you reach the cervix.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Grasp the cervix with the hand in the rectum of the cow (like you would hold a bar that is below your hand) and hold it steady while you thread the rod into and through the cow's cervix.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"When the rod is all the way through the cervix, check the location with your index finger.\", \"描述\": \"The rod should be only 1/2 to 1/4 of an inch into the uterus.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Slowly depress the plunger at the end where your right hand is so that 1/2 or is deposited.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Recheck the location of the semen to make sure you are in the cow's uterus and not in any of her \\\"blind spots\\\" (see tips below), and deposit the other half of the straw's contents.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Slowly remove the AI gun, your hand and arm from inside the cow.\", \"描述\": \"Check for any blood, infection or semen \\\"feedback\\\" from inside the sheath.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Recheck the straw to see if you used the right bull semen for the cow.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Dispose the straw, glove, and towels in the proper place.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Clean the AI gun if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Record breeding information on any record keeping system you have on hand.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Release the cow (if necessary, depending on the breeding set-up you have) and restrain the next one to be inseminated.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Recheck the temperature of the water in the thermos before repeating the steps above for another cow.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Repeat the steps above for the next cow.\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always keep inseminating equipment clean, warm and dry.\\n\", \"Inseminating equipment should avoid contact with lubricants at all time, because most lubes are spermicides.\\n\", \"Liquid nitrogen is the best solution to use to keep semen cold and keep them for a long time.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Low conception rates are common in cows done by inexperienced technicians.\\n\", \"Beware of those blind spots mentioned above in Tips\\n\", \"AI is actually a lot harder than it sounds. A lot of errors can be made in the location of the pipette (or rod or AI gun) in the cow's uterine tract, because often the location of the pipette is easily moved, and it is impossible to check pipette placement.\\n\", \"Never artificially inseminate cows yourself unless you are very experienced and have the necessary training.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,429 | How to Artificially Inseminate a Dog | 1. Evaluating Both Dogs
1-1. Determine whether or not to use artificial insemination.
Dog breeders use artificial insemination for a variety of reasons. Some breeds suffer from a diminished gene pool, especially if the country has a small number of breeding dogs. If the male and female dog are separated by great distances it may be cheaper to AI than to pay for transportation for the dog and their handler.
Artificial insemination can also make the semen from a desirable male dog more widely available.
1-2. Evaluate the male dog for suitability for breeding.
Only dogs that are healthy and meet breed specifications for conformation and type should be bred. This helps assure that the offspring will be healthy and display the desired breed traits.
In addition to a general health examination, a breeding soundness examination is done to make sure the male dog’s reproductive tract is healthy and sound.
1-3. Evaluate the female dog for suitability for breeding.
Much like the male, the female dog needs to be examined to make sure she is healthy for breeding and that she meets breed standards. A female dog that is in ill health or who has reproductive problems could have problems getting pregnant, even with AI, or could suffer severe health problems due to a pregnancy.
2. Collecting Dog Semen
2-1. Collect the male dog's semen.
Once the male dog has been deemed acceptable for breeding his semen will need to be collected. Male dogs will become aroused in the presence of a female dog in heat, which is the prime time her body emits pheromones or chemicals that excite the males. When he attempts to mount, or breed, with the female the penis is redirected into an artificial vagina into which he ejaculates.
In some cases a female at the correct stage of heat is not available. Frozen cotton swabs that were wiped in the vagina of a female dog at the peak of heat can be thawed and swiped on the tail end of any dog, which causes the male dog to respond.
In some cases semen can be collected and stored before a dog dies to be made available after his death; in others injury may make it impossible for a male dog to breed naturally yet he may still be able to produce semen.
2-2. Have the semen evaluated.
After the semen is collected, the sperm cells in it will be examined under a microscope to make sure they are normal. This means that there will be sufficient numbers, shape, and activity.
2-3. Chill or freeze semen that it not used immediately.
Chilled semen is used within 24 hours or else it will need to be frozen. Semen is stored in liquid nitrogen containers at subzero temperatures. This way semen can be used years later.
The best success rate comes from use of fresh semen. With chilled semen the success rate drops to 59-80% and with frozen it falls to 52-60%.
3. Implanting Semen into the Female
3-1. Make sure the female dog is in the correct stage of her estrus cycle.
Unlike the male, she needs to be in the receptive stage of her heat cycle in order to breed successfully. Females typically come into heat twice a year.
Each heat cycle has a preparatory proestrus stage, where the female’s vulva (visible to the outside) swells and she bleeds or spots blood for seven to nine days. The uterus (womb) is being prepared to make a suitable environment for the embryos to develop into puppies.
After this, the bleeding slows and she becomes receptive to breeding. This stage is called estrus. This is also called standing heat, because it is the period when the female will stand to mated with the male dog. It is only during this stage that she will be able to become pregnant. The most fertile time will be at the end or just after standing heat occurs.
Veterinarians can determine the stage of heat the female dog is in by collecting swabs inside the vagina and examining the cells. The swabs will collect cells which have distinctive shapes and sizes depending on the stage of estrus. This is especially helpful in those female dogs that don’t swell or bleed much.
The best time to inseminate is going to be at peak ovulation, which is determined based on the progesterone numbers. Monitor the levels with your vet and wait from 48 to 72 hours after the spike in progesterone to inseminate.
3-2. Insert the semen into the female dog's vagina.
Insemination is fairly straight forward once the semen is collected and the female dog is in estrus. The female is stood on the examination table with her back legs slightly extended beyond the pelvis. A pipette is used to deposit the semen inside the vagina near the cervix.
The insertion of the pipette takes special skill as the female dog’s vagina is quite long. The pipette is withdrawn and discarded.
3-3. Keep the dog standing after the semen is inserted.
She should be kept standing for 10 minutes after depositing the semen. She should not sit or urinate, or the semen may run out.
After 10 minutes she can walk around normally, but jumping and urinating should be avoided for about an hour.
Tips
If you have no experience with dog breeding, hire a professional to help you with the process.
Ask your veterinarian for advice on timing your particular dog’s breeding.
Read all that you are able to on breed standards for your particular breed to help you make the best choice for the breeding pair.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Evaluating Both Dogs\\n1-1. Determine whether or not to use artificial insemination.\\nDog breeders use artificial insemination for a variety of reasons. Some breeds suffer from a diminished gene pool, especially if the country has a small number of breeding dogs. If the male and female dog are separated by great distances it may be cheaper to AI than to pay for transportation for the dog and their handler. \\nArtificial insemination can also make the semen from a desirable male dog more widely available.\\n1-2. Evaluate the male dog for suitability for breeding.\\nOnly dogs that are healthy and meet breed specifications for conformation and type should be bred. This helps assure that the offspring will be healthy and display the desired breed traits.\\nIn addition to a general health examination, a breeding soundness examination is done to make sure the male dog’s reproductive tract is healthy and sound.\\n1-3. Evaluate the female dog for suitability for breeding.\\nMuch like the male, the female dog needs to be examined to make sure she is healthy for breeding and that she meets breed standards. A female dog that is in ill health or who has reproductive problems could have problems getting pregnant, even with AI, or could suffer severe health problems due to a pregnancy.\\n2. Collecting Dog Semen\\n2-1. Collect the male dog's semen.\\nOnce the male dog has been deemed acceptable for breeding his semen will need to be collected. Male dogs will become aroused in the presence of a female dog in heat, which is the prime time her body emits pheromones or chemicals that excite the males. When he attempts to mount, or breed, with the female the penis is redirected into an artificial vagina into which he ejaculates.\\nIn some cases a female at the correct stage of heat is not available. Frozen cotton swabs that were wiped in the vagina of a female dog at the peak of heat can be thawed and swiped on the tail end of any dog, which causes the male dog to respond.\\nIn some cases semen can be collected and stored before a dog dies to be made available after his death; in others injury may make it impossible for a male dog to breed naturally yet he may still be able to produce semen.\\n2-2. Have the semen evaluated.\\nAfter the semen is collected, the sperm cells in it will be examined under a microscope to make sure they are normal. This means that there will be sufficient numbers, shape, and activity.\\n2-3. Chill or freeze semen that it not used immediately.\\nChilled semen is used within 24 hours or else it will need to be frozen. Semen is stored in liquid nitrogen containers at subzero temperatures. This way semen can be used years later.\\nThe best success rate comes from use of fresh semen. With chilled semen the success rate drops to 59-80% and with frozen it falls to 52-60%.\\n3. Implanting Semen into the Female\\n3-1. Make sure the female dog is in the correct stage of her estrus cycle.\\nUnlike the male, she needs to be in the receptive stage of her heat cycle in order to breed successfully. Females typically come into heat twice a year.\\nEach heat cycle has a preparatory proestrus stage, where the female’s vulva (visible to the outside) swells and she bleeds or spots blood for seven to nine days. The uterus (womb) is being prepared to make a suitable environment for the embryos to develop into puppies.\\nAfter this, the bleeding slows and she becomes receptive to breeding. This stage is called estrus. This is also called standing heat, because it is the period when the female will stand to mated with the male dog. It is only during this stage that she will be able to become pregnant. The most fertile time will be at the end or just after standing heat occurs.\\nVeterinarians can determine the stage of heat the female dog is in by collecting swabs inside the vagina and examining the cells. The swabs will collect cells which have distinctive shapes and sizes depending on the stage of estrus. This is especially helpful in those female dogs that don’t swell or bleed much.\\nThe best time to inseminate is going to be at peak ovulation, which is determined based on the progesterone numbers. Monitor the levels with your vet and wait from 48 to 72 hours after the spike in progesterone to inseminate.\\n3-2. Insert the semen into the female dog's vagina.\\nInsemination is fairly straight forward once the semen is collected and the female dog is in estrus. The female is stood on the examination table with her back legs slightly extended beyond the pelvis. A pipette is used to deposit the semen inside the vagina near the cervix.\\nThe insertion of the pipette takes special skill as the female dog’s vagina is quite long. The pipette is withdrawn and discarded.\\n3-3. Keep the dog standing after the semen is inserted.\\nShe should be kept standing for 10 minutes after depositing the semen. She should not sit or urinate, or the semen may run out.\\nAfter 10 minutes she can walk around normally, but jumping and urinating should be avoided for about an hour.\\nTips\\nIf you have no experience with dog breeding, hire a professional to help you with the process.\\nAsk your veterinarian for advice on timing your particular dog’s breeding.\\nRead all that you are able to on breed standards for your particular breed to help you make the best choice for the breeding pair.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Artificial insemination (AI) is the technique used to impregnate a female dog without that dog having sex. First semen is collected from a male dog and then it is placed into a female dog’s reproductive tract while she is fertile. This, hopefully, will result in the sperm penetrating the female's egg, and producing an embryo. While it is a technique that is performed by experienced dog breeders, it takes a lot of knowledge, skill, and practice to prefect, and so should only be done by trained professionals.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Evaluating Both Dogs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine whether or not to use artificial insemination.\", \"描述\": \"Dog breeders use artificial insemination for a variety of reasons. Some breeds suffer from a diminished gene pool, especially if the country has a small number of breeding dogs. If the male and female dog are separated by great distances it may be cheaper to AI than to pay for transportation for the dog and their handler. \\nArtificial insemination can also make the semen from a desirable male dog more widely available.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluate the male dog for suitability for breeding.\", \"描述\": \"Only dogs that are healthy and meet breed specifications for conformation and type should be bred. This helps assure that the offspring will be healthy and display the desired breed traits.\\nIn addition to a general health examination, a breeding soundness examination is done to make sure the male dog’s reproductive tract is healthy and sound.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Evaluate the female dog for suitability for breeding.\", \"描述\": \"Much like the male, the female dog needs to be examined to make sure she is healthy for breeding and that she meets breed standards. A female dog that is in ill health or who has reproductive problems could have problems getting pregnant, even with AI, or could suffer severe health problems due to a pregnancy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Collecting Dog Semen\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Collect the male dog's semen.\", \"描述\": \"Once the male dog has been deemed acceptable for breeding his semen will need to be collected. Male dogs will become aroused in the presence of a female dog in heat, which is the prime time her body emits pheromones or chemicals that excite the males. When he attempts to mount, or breed, with the female the penis is redirected into an artificial vagina into which he ejaculates.\\nIn some cases a female at the correct stage of heat is not available. Frozen cotton swabs that were wiped in the vagina of a female dog at the peak of heat can be thawed and swiped on the tail end of any dog, which causes the male dog to respond.\\nIn some cases semen can be collected and stored before a dog dies to be made available after his death; in others injury may make it impossible for a male dog to breed naturally yet he may still be able to produce semen.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have the semen evaluated.\", \"描述\": \"After the semen is collected, the sperm cells in it will be examined under a microscope to make sure they are normal. This means that there will be sufficient numbers, shape, and activity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Chill or freeze semen that it not used immediately.\", \"描述\": \"Chilled semen is used within 24 hours or else it will need to be frozen. Semen is stored in liquid nitrogen containers at subzero temperatures. This way semen can be used years later.\\nThe best success rate comes from use of fresh semen. With chilled semen the success rate drops to 59-80% and with frozen it falls to 52-60%.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Implanting Semen into the Female\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure the female dog is in the correct stage of her estrus cycle.\", \"描述\": \"Unlike the male, she needs to be in the receptive stage of her heat cycle in order to breed successfully. Females typically come into heat twice a year.\\nEach heat cycle has a preparatory proestrus stage, where the female’s vulva (visible to the outside) swells and she bleeds or spots blood for seven to nine days. The uterus (womb) is being prepared to make a suitable environment for the embryos to develop into puppies.\\nAfter this, the bleeding slows and she becomes receptive to breeding. This stage is called estrus. This is also called standing heat, because it is the period when the female will stand to mated with the male dog. It is only during this stage that she will be able to become pregnant. The most fertile time will be at the end or just after standing heat occurs.\\nVeterinarians can determine the stage of heat the female dog is in by collecting swabs inside the vagina and examining the cells. The swabs will collect cells which have distinctive shapes and sizes depending on the stage of estrus. This is especially helpful in those female dogs that don’t swell or bleed much.\\nThe best time to inseminate is going to be at peak ovulation, which is determined based on the progesterone numbers. Monitor the levels with your vet and wait from 48 to 72 hours after the spike in progesterone to inseminate.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Insert the semen into the female dog's vagina.\", \"描述\": \"Insemination is fairly straight forward once the semen is collected and the female dog is in estrus. The female is stood on the examination table with her back legs slightly extended beyond the pelvis. A pipette is used to deposit the semen inside the vagina near the cervix.\\nThe insertion of the pipette takes special skill as the female dog’s vagina is quite long. The pipette is withdrawn and discarded.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep the dog standing after the semen is inserted.\", \"描述\": \"She should be kept standing for 10 minutes after depositing the semen. She should not sit or urinate, or the semen may run out.\\nAfter 10 minutes she can walk around normally, but jumping and urinating should be avoided for about an hour.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have no experience with dog breeding, hire a professional to help you with the process.\\n\", \"Ask your veterinarian for advice on timing your particular dog’s breeding.\\n\", \"Read all that you are able to on breed standards for your particular breed to help you make the best choice for the breeding pair.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,430 | How to Ash Your Cigarette | 1. The Thumb Flick Method
1-1. Watch where you ash.
Before attempting this method, make sure you have an acceptable place to ash. An ashtray is preferable, but in the absence of one you should ash in the sink, in a cup, on asphalt, or a surface that can be easily cleaned. Avoid ashing on wood, carpet, tile, or cloth as these will be stained and/or burned.
1-2. Hold your cigarette steadily between your index and middle finger.
The cigarette should be firmly held at a point where the middle finger acts as the fulcrum. Your middle finger will hold it in place, keeping it firm so it doesn’t move while being flicked. Your grip on the cigarette shouldn’t be too rough otherwise you might split it in half.
1-3. Flick downward
Press down firmly on the filter with the pad of your thumb with your index and middle finger holding the cigarette in place. The tip of the cigarette will shake so the ash falls below.
2. The Tap Method
2-1. Grab your cigarette with your thumb and middle fingers.
The cigarette should be held at its filter with the index finger hovering above. The grip should be firm without crushing the filter in the process.
2-2. Tap lightly on the top of the cigarette with your index finger.
Be sure not to tap it too hard or else the cigarette will bend a bit or break. Avoid touching the ash or the point where the cigarette is lit so you don’t burn yourself.
2-3. Flick the cigarette multiple times.
This method doesn’t provide a great amount of pressure on the cigarette so it’s likely that you’ll have to “ash” it multiple times. Always find a proper place to ash that doesn’t damage yours or someone else’s property.
3. The Ashtray Method
3-1. Rest the cigarette in between your index and middle finger.
This starting position is similar to the one used in the thumb flick method where your middle finger serves as the fulcrum while the index finger holds it in place. Keep the pressure between your fingers strong enough to hold the cigarette in place, but avoid squeezing too hard so you don’t split it in half.
3-2. Hold it over the ashtray.
Make sure the cigarette is only an inch or so above the edge of the ashtray, with the tip of the cigarette hovering over the inside of it. This way the ash falls in the ashtray, instead of falling outside of it. This common pitfall could damage the table the ashtray is on and make you look like a novice.
3-3. Use your thumb to tap the cigarette on the edge of the ashtray.
Use the top of your thumbnail to strike the bottom of the filter, causing the front of the cigarette to hit downward on the ashtray. Make sure the cigarette hits the side of the ashtray because it provides a solid surface to loosen the ash. The impact with the ashtray should cause your cigarette to ash.
4. The Bottle Method
4-1. Use this method at bars or at home.
This trick is great if you need to ash into an empty beer bottle or any glass bottle. It’s especially useful because the bottle acts a receptacle for the ash, so you can just throw your ash away with the bottle after you’re finished. Make sure you’re done with your beverage so you don’t end up drinking ash, which could have dangerous health effects.
4-2. Hold the cigarette between thumb and index finger.
In this grip, you’re firmly holding it at the filter but not forcefully enough where the filter becomes crushed. Hold the cigarette upright as the ash will easily fall down if it’s pointed downwards.
4-3. Turn the cigarette upside down over the bottle’s opening.
Be careful that the tip of the cigarette is hovering over the bottle so the ash falls straight into the bottle. Keep the bottle stationary as well to ensure the ash doesn’t fall anywhere else.
4-4. Put the cigarette inside the bottle.
Flick the bottom of the filter with the fingernail on your middle finger. This will cause the tip of the cigarette to hit the inside of the bottle, causing the ash to fall inside the bottle.
4-5. Make it quick.
Flicking the cigarette over for too long while cause it to burn more quickly. It might take a few times to get the ash in the bottle, so make sure to flick the cigarette with enough force to loosen the ash up in a couple of tries.
5. The Finger-Roll Method
5-1. Hold the cigarette filter between your thumb and index finger.
Keep the tip of the cigarette pointed upwards so stray ash doesn’t fall down. Ensure the grip is light but firm, allowing the cigarette to stay in place without crushing the filter.
5-2. Place the lit end of the cigarette directly on the ashtray.
Have the cigarette hover over the center of the ashtray with a roughly 45-degree angle between the cigarette and ashtray surface. Don’t point the lit end of the cigarette downward until you’re directly over the ashtray, ensuring the ash falls directly in.
5-3. Roll the cigarette between your thumb and index finger, pressing it against the loose ash in the ashtray.
Put the lit end of the cigarette in the center of the ashtray, and roll it between your fingers without actually moving it back and forth. The cigarette will naturally rest on the unburnt tobacco on the cigarette tip when it makes contact with the ashtray. By rolling the cigarette you brush off the majority of the loose ash, as well as making a smooth, symmetrical, and sophisticated cigarette.
Tips
Have fun with it. Be creative in finding new ways to ash your cigarette.
Warnings
Always ensure your ash falls in a safe place. Never ash over easily burnt materials such as carpet, wood, vinyl, or cloth.
Never smoke around others who want to avoid second-hand smoke.
Smoking increases the risk of certain cancers.
If you have not smoked before, do not start now. The risks of heart disease and lung cancer are dangerously high. Use common sense and save 45 years of your life!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. The Thumb Flick Method\\n1-1. Watch where you ash.\\nBefore attempting this method, make sure you have an acceptable place to ash. An ashtray is preferable, but in the absence of one you should ash in the sink, in a cup, on asphalt, or a surface that can be easily cleaned. Avoid ashing on wood, carpet, tile, or cloth as these will be stained and/or burned.\\n1-2. Hold your cigarette steadily between your index and middle finger.\\nThe cigarette should be firmly held at a point where the middle finger acts as the fulcrum. Your middle finger will hold it in place, keeping it firm so it doesn’t move while being flicked. Your grip on the cigarette shouldn’t be too rough otherwise you might split it in half.\\n1-3. Flick downward\\nPress down firmly on the filter with the pad of your thumb with your index and middle finger holding the cigarette in place. The tip of the cigarette will shake so the ash falls below.\\n2. The Tap Method\\n2-1. Grab your cigarette with your thumb and middle fingers.\\nThe cigarette should be held at its filter with the index finger hovering above. The grip should be firm without crushing the filter in the process.\\n2-2. Tap lightly on the top of the cigarette with your index finger.\\nBe sure not to tap it too hard or else the cigarette will bend a bit or break. Avoid touching the ash or the point where the cigarette is lit so you don’t burn yourself.\\n2-3. Flick the cigarette multiple times.\\nThis method doesn’t provide a great amount of pressure on the cigarette so it’s likely that you’ll have to “ash” it multiple times. Always find a proper place to ash that doesn’t damage yours or someone else’s property.\\n3. The Ashtray Method\\n3-1. Rest the cigarette in between your index and middle finger.\\nThis starting position is similar to the one used in the thumb flick method where your middle finger serves as the fulcrum while the index finger holds it in place. Keep the pressure between your fingers strong enough to hold the cigarette in place, but avoid squeezing too hard so you don’t split it in half.\\n3-2. Hold it over the ashtray.\\nMake sure the cigarette is only an inch or so above the edge of the ashtray, with the tip of the cigarette hovering over the inside of it. This way the ash falls in the ashtray, instead of falling outside of it. This common pitfall could damage the table the ashtray is on and make you look like a novice.\\n3-3. Use your thumb to tap the cigarette on the edge of the ashtray.\\nUse the top of your thumbnail to strike the bottom of the filter, causing the front of the cigarette to hit downward on the ashtray. Make sure the cigarette hits the side of the ashtray because it provides a solid surface to loosen the ash. The impact with the ashtray should cause your cigarette to ash.\\n4. The Bottle Method\\n4-1. Use this method at bars or at home.\\nThis trick is great if you need to ash into an empty beer bottle or any glass bottle. It’s especially useful because the bottle acts a receptacle for the ash, so you can just throw your ash away with the bottle after you’re finished. Make sure you’re done with your beverage so you don’t end up drinking ash, which could have dangerous health effects.\\n4-2. Hold the cigarette between thumb and index finger.\\nIn this grip, you’re firmly holding it at the filter but not forcefully enough where the filter becomes crushed. Hold the cigarette upright as the ash will easily fall down if it’s pointed downwards.\\n4-3. Turn the cigarette upside down over the bottle’s opening.\\nBe careful that the tip of the cigarette is hovering over the bottle so the ash falls straight into the bottle. Keep the bottle stationary as well to ensure the ash doesn’t fall anywhere else.\\n4-4. Put the cigarette inside the bottle.\\nFlick the bottom of the filter with the fingernail on your middle finger. This will cause the tip of the cigarette to hit the inside of the bottle, causing the ash to fall inside the bottle.\\n4-5. Make it quick.\\nFlicking the cigarette over for too long while cause it to burn more quickly. It might take a few times to get the ash in the bottle, so make sure to flick the cigarette with enough force to loosen the ash up in a couple of tries.\\n5. The Finger-Roll Method\\n5-1. Hold the cigarette filter between your thumb and index finger.\\nKeep the tip of the cigarette pointed upwards so stray ash doesn’t fall down. Ensure the grip is light but firm, allowing the cigarette to stay in place without crushing the filter.\\n5-2. Place the lit end of the cigarette directly on the ashtray.\\nHave the cigarette hover over the center of the ashtray with a roughly 45-degree angle between the cigarette and ashtray surface. Don’t point the lit end of the cigarette downward until you’re directly over the ashtray, ensuring the ash falls directly in.\\n5-3. Roll the cigarette between your thumb and index finger, pressing it against the loose ash in the ashtray.\\nPut the lit end of the cigarette in the center of the ashtray, and roll it between your fingers without actually moving it back and forth. The cigarette will naturally rest on the unburnt tobacco on the cigarette tip when it makes contact with the ashtray. By rolling the cigarette you brush off the majority of the loose ash, as well as making a smooth, symmetrical, and sophisticated cigarette.\\nTips\\nHave fun with it. Be creative in finding new ways to ash your cigarette.\\nWarnings\\nAlways ensure your ash falls in a safe place. Never ash over easily burnt materials such as carpet, wood, vinyl, or cloth.\\nNever smoke around others who want to avoid second-hand smoke.\\nSmoking increases the risk of certain cancers.\\nIf you have not smoked before, do not start now. The risks of heart disease and lung cancer are dangerously high. Use common sense and save 45 years of your life!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Removing the ash from a cigarette may appear easy, but it can be a tricky and damaging process. Taking care when 'ashing' your cigarette can avoid burning your clothing or putting a hole in a friend's couch. With just a little technique, you can learn to ash your cigarette with grace and style.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The Thumb Flick Method\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch where you ash.\", \"描述\": \"Before attempting this method, make sure you have an acceptable place to ash. An ashtray is preferable, but in the absence of one you should ash in the sink, in a cup, on asphalt, or a surface that can be easily cleaned. Avoid ashing on wood, carpet, tile, or cloth as these will be stained and/or burned.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hold your cigarette steadily between your index and middle finger.\", \"描述\": \"The cigarette should be firmly held at a point where the middle finger acts as the fulcrum. Your middle finger will hold it in place, keeping it firm so it doesn’t move while being flicked. Your grip on the cigarette shouldn’t be too rough otherwise you might split it in half.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flick downward\", \"描述\": \"Press down firmly on the filter with the pad of your thumb with your index and middle finger holding the cigarette in place. The tip of the cigarette will shake so the ash falls below.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"The Tap Method\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Grab your cigarette with your thumb and middle fingers.\", \"描述\": \"The cigarette should be held at its filter with the index finger hovering above. The grip should be firm without crushing the filter in the process.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap lightly on the top of the cigarette with your index finger.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure not to tap it too hard or else the cigarette will bend a bit or break. Avoid touching the ash or the point where the cigarette is lit so you don’t burn yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flick the cigarette multiple times.\", \"描述\": \"This method doesn’t provide a great amount of pressure on the cigarette so it’s likely that you’ll have to “ash” it multiple times. Always find a proper place to ash that doesn’t damage yours or someone else’s property.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"The Ashtray Method\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Rest the cigarette in between your index and middle finger.\", \"描述\": \"This starting position is similar to the one used in the thumb flick method where your middle finger serves as the fulcrum while the index finger holds it in place. Keep the pressure between your fingers strong enough to hold the cigarette in place, but avoid squeezing too hard so you don’t split it in half.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hold it over the ashtray.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure the cigarette is only an inch or so above the edge of the ashtray, with the tip of the cigarette hovering over the inside of it. This way the ash falls in the ashtray, instead of falling outside of it. This common pitfall could damage the table the ashtray is on and make you look like a novice.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use your thumb to tap the cigarette on the edge of the ashtray.\", \"描述\": \"Use the top of your thumbnail to strike the bottom of the filter, causing the front of the cigarette to hit downward on the ashtray. Make sure the cigarette hits the side of the ashtray because it provides a solid surface to loosen the ash. The impact with the ashtray should cause your cigarette to ash.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"The Bottle Method\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use this method at bars or at home.\", \"描述\": \"This trick is great if you need to ash into an empty beer bottle or any glass bottle. It’s especially useful because the bottle acts a receptacle for the ash, so you can just throw your ash away with the bottle after you’re finished. Make sure you’re done with your beverage so you don’t end up drinking ash, which could have dangerous health effects.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hold the cigarette between thumb and index finger.\", \"描述\": \"In this grip, you’re firmly holding it at the filter but not forcefully enough where the filter becomes crushed. Hold the cigarette upright as the ash will easily fall down if it’s pointed downwards.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn the cigarette upside down over the bottle’s opening.\", \"描述\": \"Be careful that the tip of the cigarette is hovering over the bottle so the ash falls straight into the bottle. Keep the bottle stationary as well to ensure the ash doesn’t fall anywhere else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put the cigarette inside the bottle.\", \"描述\": \"Flick the bottom of the filter with the fingernail on your middle finger. This will cause the tip of the cigarette to hit the inside of the bottle, causing the ash to fall inside the bottle.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make it quick.\", \"描述\": \"Flicking the cigarette over for too long while cause it to burn more quickly. It might take a few times to get the ash in the bottle, so make sure to flick the cigarette with enough force to loosen the ash up in a couple of tries.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"The Finger-Roll Method\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hold the cigarette filter between your thumb and index finger.\", \"描述\": \"Keep the tip of the cigarette pointed upwards so stray ash doesn’t fall down. Ensure the grip is light but firm, allowing the cigarette to stay in place without crushing the filter.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Place the lit end of the cigarette directly on the ashtray.\", \"描述\": \"Have the cigarette hover over the center of the ashtray with a roughly 45-degree angle between the cigarette and ashtray surface. Don’t point the lit end of the cigarette downward until you’re directly over the ashtray, ensuring the ash falls directly in.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Roll the cigarette between your thumb and index finger, pressing it against the loose ash in the ashtray.\", \"描述\": \"Put the lit end of the cigarette in the center of the ashtray, and roll it between your fingers without actually moving it back and forth. The cigarette will naturally rest on the unburnt tobacco on the cigarette tip when it makes contact with the ashtray. By rolling the cigarette you brush off the majority of the loose ash, as well as making a smooth, symmetrical, and sophisticated cigarette.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Have fun with it. Be creative in finding new ways to ash your cigarette.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Always ensure your ash falls in a safe place. Never ash over easily burnt materials such as carpet, wood, vinyl, or cloth.\\n\", \"Never smoke around others who want to avoid second-hand smoke.\\n\", \"Smoking increases the risk of certain cancers.\\n\", \"If you have not smoked before, do not start now. The risks of heart disease and lung cancer are dangerously high. Use common sense and save 45 years of your life!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,431 | How to Ask About Application Status Following an Interview | 1. Calling Your Interviewer
1-1. Call the interviewer directly if they gave you their number.
You should make use of any contact number you were given in the interview. If the interviewer gave you their work number, you can score some points by getting in touch with them directly. If they didn’t give you a number, look up the company’s main number and call it to get in touch with someone.
By calling the main number, you may get directed to a boss or supervisor. Higher-level employees may be more straightforward about your application.
Avoid looking up personal numbers to call, especially cell phone numbers. Calling a personal number can feel invasive to your interviewer. Instead, let the front desk transfer you to the appropriate number.
1-2. Mention your interview time and date.
Once the phone begins ringing, you get a few moments to determine what you’re going to say. Don’t let the anxiety of the impending call faze you. Instead, focus on the reason you called, which is the result of the interview you had. Remind the interviewer of your meeting to get them on the same page as you.
The other person may have gone through a lot of applications and interviews, so reminding them of when you met can help them remember you as a candidate.
For example, say, “Hello, I had an interview with you last Tuesday, the 27th.”
1-3. Explain what job title you interviewed for.
It doesn’t hurt to solidify your connection to the purpose of your application. Sometimes interviewers are looking to fill other positions too or have other responsibilities that make them forget the details of your application. Mentioning the job title serves as clear, concise communication that you are still interested in the job.
For instance, you might say, “Hello, I’m calling to follow up with the interview I had on the 9th about the office administrator position.”
1-4. Thank your contact for their time.
Be respectful no matter who you talk to. Listen to what they have to say and heed it. Leave on a positive note to display your professionalism even if you get bad news.
A simple “Thank you for your time” or “Thank you for considering me” suffices in most cases.
If you find out your application has been rejected, you might say, “I’m sorry to hear that, but I wish you luck with your new hire. If you have any other openings available, I’d love to hear about them.”
1-5. Call back at a later date if your inquiry goes well.
If you aren’t told your application has been denied or that the position has been filled, you still have a chance at the job. Usually, keeping in touch with your contact is the right thing to do. Listen for additional information, such as a hiring deadline, and call back again a few days after it passes if you still don’t have an answer.
Use your judgment. If the person you spoke to sounded cold, vague, or uninterested during your conversation, chances are you won’t get hired and should stop calling.
Make no more than 2 follow-up calls. If, after 2 calls, you still don’t have an answer, you are likely better off looking somewhere else.
2. Sending an Email to Your Interviewer
2-1. Contact the interviewer through email if you have their address.
Thanks to its convenience, email has become a more prominent way to get in touch with employers. Many interviewers now give out email addresses instead of phone numbers. You should also contact them through email if you submitted your application through email, such as on a job search website, or had an online interview.
Email is a great way to get in touch with an interviewer who is busy. If your interviewer is hard to reach or traveling, for instance, you may not be able to call them.
Follow the interviewer’s preference. If they give you their email, making use of their inbox is fine. If they give you a phone number, avoid using email.
2-2. Write a specific subject line listing the date of your interview.
The trick to an attention-grabbing subject line is to make it seem like a reply to a previous conversation. The interviewer thinks you have had previous contact, so they are more likely to open your message. Listing the specific time of the interview leaves no doubt as to who you are as a candidate.
For example, write, “Re: Interview on Wednesday at 9 AM.”
2-3. Start the email with a formal greeting.
Address the body of your email the same way you would when writing a letter. Keep it friendly, treating your contact as a boss or colleague. Address them by using whatever name they called themselves during your interview. Then, leave a blank line between your greeting and the rest of the email.
A less formal greeting you can use is, “Hi, Name.” Put the person’s name in place of “Name.” Being too formal can make you sound stiff, so you will usually be fine using a simple greeting like this one.
A possible formal opening is, “Dear Mr. Hiring Manager.” Be sure to use the proper pronoun and substitute their last name for the “Hiring Manager” part.
2-4. Thank the recruiter or hiring manager for the interview.
Use the body of your email to provide context. Start with a polite, professional opening so you sound like a diligent candidate. The ideal way to do is to mention the interview, posing your email as a follow-up. Consider mentioning the position you applied to in order to emphasize what you want.
Say something like, “I enjoyed meeting you last week and wanted you to know how excited I am about the office manager position.”
You may wish to mention the date of your interview. If you included it in the subject line, mentioning it in the text isn’t required.
2-5. Ask in clear, concise words about the status of your application.
Make it known that you are interested in how the application process is progressing. Be clear about this, but avoid demanding a response. This is the main part of your email and you should limit it to 1 to 3 short paragraphs.
For instance, you may say, “I am interested in the status of my application.”
You can list some reasons why you are a good hire, but be brief. For instance, try writing, “You mentioned you are looking for a hardworking person. I believe I have what it takes and hope I get a chance to show it to your company.”
2-6. Offer to answer any questions or concerns your contact has.
Making the offer gives the other person an excuse to reach out to you. Leave the invitation open-ended, indicating that you are available no matter what the other person has to say. Sometimes interviewers will call you back, giving you a chance to gain feedback and erase any doubts they may have about your application.
Indicate your openness by saying something like, “Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns I can answer.”
Another way to encourage them to respond to you is to ask a question you forgot during the interview, such as, “What would someone need to do by the end of the year to prove they were the right hire?”
2-7. Sign off with your first and last name.
Your name at the bottom of the email serves as a reminder to your interviewer. Sure, you won’t break the law by leaving it off, especially if your name is in your email address. However, it is a good business practice that helps the interviewer identify and remember you.
Sign off with a line such as “Thanks, Your Name.” Typically, including your first and last name is the best bet because the interviewer doesn’t know you well and may be dealing with a lot of different candidates.
If you end up exchanging several emails with the interviewer in rapid succession, you do not need to put your name on each one. Put your name on the email if, after a few weeks, you start a new message chain.
3. Communicating Successfully
3-1. Ask a few days after you expected to hear from the interviewer.
Your interviewer probably said something like, “We’ll let you know in a couple of weeks.” To avoid the risk of annoying the interviewer, wait out those couple of weeks. Let about 4 or 5 days pass after any specific deadline you were given.
Asking for information too soon can decrease your chances of getting hired. If the interviewer feels annoyed by your calls, it reflects poorly on your candidacy.
Remind yourself that interviewers are often busy people. They may still be conducting interviews, trying to make a decision, calling applicants back, or out of the office.
If the interviewer didn’t set a specific deadline for a decision, wait at least 1 or 2 weeks before contacting them.
3-2. Be specific and to the point when asking about your status.
Being called out of the blue may feel intrusive to the interviewer. Avoid taking up a lot of their time. As soon as you can after greeting them, state your reason for calling. This will improve your chances of getting a clear response as well.
Tell your contact something like, “I am eager to find out if you have had a chance to review my application.” This is all you need to say to convey your request.
3-3. Speak in a polite, professional tone.
While you should make the point of your call known right away, you should never come off as rude or demanding. Treat the person like they are already your new colleague and contact. Never try to force the person into making a decision. Instead, sound like you want the job but aren’t desperate for it.
You might tell your contact, “I’d like to inquire about the status of my application and how the hiring process is progressing. Since our interview, I’ve been very excited about the opportunity to join your company.”
Never accuse or attack the person, no matter how upset you are. You will burn bridges and cost yourself future opportunities.
3-4. Avoid overemphasizing your qualities as an applicant.
You don’t need to sell yourself in your call or email. That is what the interview was for. Repeating your qualifications can feel tedious to the interviewer or worse, make you sound desperate. Even if you are fit for the job, you may end up bragging and get on your contact’s bad side.
This is especially evident if you talk to someone other than the person who interviewed you. Focus on getting information about your application status. Only talk about yourself if you are asked to do so.
You can briefly emphasize some of your qualities, such as your hardworking nature and eagerness to work. However, the act of following up your interview is meant to display these qualities.
3-5. Give the other person at least 3 days to reply.
Sometimes you won’t get a response back from the person you contacted. They may be busy or out of the office. If you don’t hear back, you can call again or send another follow-up email. Continue to be patient and professional until you get a response.
If you still can’t get a response after multiple attempts, you may be able to contact someone higher in the organization. Try a hiring manager or the HR department.
Sometimes you need to know when to give up. Getting silence despite multiple attempts at reaching out isn’t a good sign, so consider focusing your energy on other opportunities.
Tips
Waiting can be tough, but stay strong. Keep yourself busy to avoid the temptation of calling or emailing too early.
When you go in for an interview, make sure you get a timeline. You are allowed to ask your interviewer how long you are expected to wait to hear back from them.
When you follow up with the interview, don’t be afraid to ask when you can expect a decision. Many times businesses are vague about the application process, but you have a right to know when to expect a yes or a no.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Calling Your Interviewer\\n1-1. Call the interviewer directly if they gave you their number.\\nYou should make use of any contact number you were given in the interview. If the interviewer gave you their work number, you can score some points by getting in touch with them directly. If they didn’t give you a number, look up the company’s main number and call it to get in touch with someone.\\nBy calling the main number, you may get directed to a boss or supervisor. Higher-level employees may be more straightforward about your application.\\nAvoid looking up personal numbers to call, especially cell phone numbers. Calling a personal number can feel invasive to your interviewer. Instead, let the front desk transfer you to the appropriate number.\\n1-2. Mention your interview time and date.\\nOnce the phone begins ringing, you get a few moments to determine what you’re going to say. Don’t let the anxiety of the impending call faze you. Instead, focus on the reason you called, which is the result of the interview you had. Remind the interviewer of your meeting to get them on the same page as you.\\nThe other person may have gone through a lot of applications and interviews, so reminding them of when you met can help them remember you as a candidate.\\nFor example, say, “Hello, I had an interview with you last Tuesday, the 27th.”\\n1-3. Explain what job title you interviewed for.\\nIt doesn’t hurt to solidify your connection to the purpose of your application. Sometimes interviewers are looking to fill other positions too or have other responsibilities that make them forget the details of your application. Mentioning the job title serves as clear, concise communication that you are still interested in the job.\\nFor instance, you might say, “Hello, I’m calling to follow up with the interview I had on the 9th about the office administrator position.”\\n1-4. Thank your contact for their time.\\nBe respectful no matter who you talk to. Listen to what they have to say and heed it. Leave on a positive note to display your professionalism even if you get bad news.\\nA simple “Thank you for your time” or “Thank you for considering me” suffices in most cases.\\nIf you find out your application has been rejected, you might say, “I’m sorry to hear that, but I wish you luck with your new hire. If you have any other openings available, I’d love to hear about them.”\\n1-5. Call back at a later date if your inquiry goes well.\\nIf you aren’t told your application has been denied or that the position has been filled, you still have a chance at the job. Usually, keeping in touch with your contact is the right thing to do. Listen for additional information, such as a hiring deadline, and call back again a few days after it passes if you still don’t have an answer.\\nUse your judgment. If the person you spoke to sounded cold, vague, or uninterested during your conversation, chances are you won’t get hired and should stop calling.\\nMake no more than 2 follow-up calls. If, after 2 calls, you still don’t have an answer, you are likely better off looking somewhere else.\\n2. Sending an Email to Your Interviewer\\n2-1. Contact the interviewer through email if you have their address.\\nThanks to its convenience, email has become a more prominent way to get in touch with employers. Many interviewers now give out email addresses instead of phone numbers. You should also contact them through email if you submitted your application through email, such as on a job search website, or had an online interview.\\nEmail is a great way to get in touch with an interviewer who is busy. If your interviewer is hard to reach or traveling, for instance, you may not be able to call them.\\nFollow the interviewer’s preference. If they give you their email, making use of their inbox is fine. If they give you a phone number, avoid using email.\\n2-2. Write a specific subject line listing the date of your interview.\\nThe trick to an attention-grabbing subject line is to make it seem like a reply to a previous conversation. The interviewer thinks you have had previous contact, so they are more likely to open your message. Listing the specific time of the interview leaves no doubt as to who you are as a candidate.\\nFor example, write, “Re: Interview on Wednesday at 9 AM.”\\n2-3. Start the email with a formal greeting.\\nAddress the body of your email the same way you would when writing a letter. Keep it friendly, treating your contact as a boss or colleague. Address them by using whatever name they called themselves during your interview. Then, leave a blank line between your greeting and the rest of the email.\\nA less formal greeting you can use is, “Hi, Name.” Put the person’s name in place of “Name.” Being too formal can make you sound stiff, so you will usually be fine using a simple greeting like this one.\\nA possible formal opening is, “Dear Mr. Hiring Manager.” Be sure to use the proper pronoun and substitute their last name for the “Hiring Manager” part.\\n2-4. Thank the recruiter or hiring manager for the interview.\\nUse the body of your email to provide context. Start with a polite, professional opening so you sound like a diligent candidate. The ideal way to do is to mention the interview, posing your email as a follow-up. Consider mentioning the position you applied to in order to emphasize what you want.\\nSay something like, “I enjoyed meeting you last week and wanted you to know how excited I am about the office manager position.”\\nYou may wish to mention the date of your interview. If you included it in the subject line, mentioning it in the text isn’t required.\\n2-5. Ask in clear, concise words about the status of your application.\\nMake it known that you are interested in how the application process is progressing. Be clear about this, but avoid demanding a response. This is the main part of your email and you should limit it to 1 to 3 short paragraphs.\\nFor instance, you may say, “I am interested in the status of my application.”\\nYou can list some reasons why you are a good hire, but be brief. For instance, try writing, “You mentioned you are looking for a hardworking person. I believe I have what it takes and hope I get a chance to show it to your company.”\\n2-6. Offer to answer any questions or concerns your contact has.\\nMaking the offer gives the other person an excuse to reach out to you. Leave the invitation open-ended, indicating that you are available no matter what the other person has to say. Sometimes interviewers will call you back, giving you a chance to gain feedback and erase any doubts they may have about your application.\\nIndicate your openness by saying something like, “Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns I can answer.”\\nAnother way to encourage them to respond to you is to ask a question you forgot during the interview, such as, “What would someone need to do by the end of the year to prove they were the right hire?”\\n2-7. Sign off with your first and last name.\\nYour name at the bottom of the email serves as a reminder to your interviewer. Sure, you won’t break the law by leaving it off, especially if your name is in your email address. However, it is a good business practice that helps the interviewer identify and remember you.\\nSign off with a line such as “Thanks, Your Name.” Typically, including your first and last name is the best bet because the interviewer doesn’t know you well and may be dealing with a lot of different candidates.\\nIf you end up exchanging several emails with the interviewer in rapid succession, you do not need to put your name on each one. Put your name on the email if, after a few weeks, you start a new message chain.\\n3. Communicating Successfully\\n3-1. Ask a few days after you expected to hear from the interviewer.\\nYour interviewer probably said something like, “We’ll let you know in a couple of weeks.” To avoid the risk of annoying the interviewer, wait out those couple of weeks. Let about 4 or 5 days pass after any specific deadline you were given.\\nAsking for information too soon can decrease your chances of getting hired. If the interviewer feels annoyed by your calls, it reflects poorly on your candidacy.\\nRemind yourself that interviewers are often busy people. They may still be conducting interviews, trying to make a decision, calling applicants back, or out of the office.\\nIf the interviewer didn’t set a specific deadline for a decision, wait at least 1 or 2 weeks before contacting them.\\n3-2. Be specific and to the point when asking about your status.\\nBeing called out of the blue may feel intrusive to the interviewer. Avoid taking up a lot of their time. As soon as you can after greeting them, state your reason for calling. This will improve your chances of getting a clear response as well.\\nTell your contact something like, “I am eager to find out if you have had a chance to review my application.” This is all you need to say to convey your request.\\n3-3. Speak in a polite, professional tone.\\nWhile you should make the point of your call known right away, you should never come off as rude or demanding. Treat the person like they are already your new colleague and contact. Never try to force the person into making a decision. Instead, sound like you want the job but aren’t desperate for it.\\nYou might tell your contact, “I’d like to inquire about the status of my application and how the hiring process is progressing. Since our interview, I’ve been very excited about the opportunity to join your company.”\\nNever accuse or attack the person, no matter how upset you are. You will burn bridges and cost yourself future opportunities.\\n3-4. Avoid overemphasizing your qualities as an applicant.\\nYou don’t need to sell yourself in your call or email. That is what the interview was for. Repeating your qualifications can feel tedious to the interviewer or worse, make you sound desperate. Even if you are fit for the job, you may end up bragging and get on your contact’s bad side.\\nThis is especially evident if you talk to someone other than the person who interviewed you. Focus on getting information about your application status. Only talk about yourself if you are asked to do so.\\nYou can briefly emphasize some of your qualities, such as your hardworking nature and eagerness to work. However, the act of following up your interview is meant to display these qualities.\\n3-5. Give the other person at least 3 days to reply.\\nSometimes you won’t get a response back from the person you contacted. They may be busy or out of the office. If you don’t hear back, you can call again or send another follow-up email. Continue to be patient and professional until you get a response.\\nIf you still can’t get a response after multiple attempts, you may be able to contact someone higher in the organization. Try a hiring manager or the HR department.\\nSometimes you need to know when to give up. Getting silence despite multiple attempts at reaching out isn’t a good sign, so consider focusing your energy on other opportunities.\\nTips\\nWaiting can be tough, but stay strong. Keep yourself busy to avoid the temptation of calling or emailing too early.\\nWhen you go in for an interview, make sure you get a timeline. You are allowed to ask your interviewer how long you are expected to wait to hear back from them.\\nWhen you follow up with the interview, don’t be afraid to ask when you can expect a decision. Many times businesses are vague about the application process, but you have a right to know when to expect a yes or a no.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Even if you walk out of an interview feeling like it was a success, you still have to wait for the company to make a decision. Sending a follow-up message is a way to move on with your life. All you need to do is send a simple email or make a short call. Be polite and to the point when asking about your application and you may get more information about where you stand in the application process.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Calling Your Interviewer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Call the interviewer directly if they gave you their number.\", \"描述\": \"You should make use of any contact number you were given in the interview. If the interviewer gave you their work number, you can score some points by getting in touch with them directly. If they didn’t give you a number, look up the company’s main number and call it to get in touch with someone.\\nBy calling the main number, you may get directed to a boss or supervisor. Higher-level employees may be more straightforward about your application.\\nAvoid looking up personal numbers to call, especially cell phone numbers. Calling a personal number can feel invasive to your interviewer. Instead, let the front desk transfer you to the appropriate number.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mention your interview time and date.\", \"描述\": \"Once the phone begins ringing, you get a few moments to determine what you’re going to say. Don’t let the anxiety of the impending call faze you. Instead, focus on the reason you called, which is the result of the interview you had. Remind the interviewer of your meeting to get them on the same page as you.\\nThe other person may have gone through a lot of applications and interviews, so reminding them of when you met can help them remember you as a candidate.\\nFor example, say, “Hello, I had an interview with you last Tuesday, the 27th.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explain what job title you interviewed for.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn’t hurt to solidify your connection to the purpose of your application. Sometimes interviewers are looking to fill other positions too or have other responsibilities that make them forget the details of your application. Mentioning the job title serves as clear, concise communication that you are still interested in the job.\\nFor instance, you might say, “Hello, I’m calling to follow up with the interview I had on the 9th about the office administrator position.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Thank your contact for their time.\", \"描述\": \"Be respectful no matter who you talk to. Listen to what they have to say and heed it. Leave on a positive note to display your professionalism even if you get bad news.\\nA simple “Thank you for your time” or “Thank you for considering me” suffices in most cases.\\nIf you find out your application has been rejected, you might say, “I’m sorry to hear that, but I wish you luck with your new hire. If you have any other openings available, I’d love to hear about them.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Call back at a later date if your inquiry goes well.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t told your application has been denied or that the position has been filled, you still have a chance at the job. Usually, keeping in touch with your contact is the right thing to do. Listen for additional information, such as a hiring deadline, and call back again a few days after it passes if you still don’t have an answer.\\nUse your judgment. If the person you spoke to sounded cold, vague, or uninterested during your conversation, chances are you won’t get hired and should stop calling.\\nMake no more than 2 follow-up calls. If, after 2 calls, you still don’t have an answer, you are likely better off looking somewhere else.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sending an Email to Your Interviewer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Contact the interviewer through email if you have their address.\", \"描述\": \"Thanks to its convenience, email has become a more prominent way to get in touch with employers. Many interviewers now give out email addresses instead of phone numbers. You should also contact them through email if you submitted your application through email, such as on a job search website, or had an online interview.\\nEmail is a great way to get in touch with an interviewer who is busy. If your interviewer is hard to reach or traveling, for instance, you may not be able to call them.\\nFollow the interviewer’s preference. If they give you their email, making use of their inbox is fine. If they give you a phone number, avoid using email.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a specific subject line listing the date of your interview.\", \"描述\": \"The trick to an attention-grabbing subject line is to make it seem like a reply to a previous conversation. The interviewer thinks you have had previous contact, so they are more likely to open your message. Listing the specific time of the interview leaves no doubt as to who you are as a candidate.\\nFor example, write, “Re: Interview on Wednesday at 9 AM.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start the email with a formal greeting.\", \"描述\": \"Address the body of your email the same way you would when writing a letter. Keep it friendly, treating your contact as a boss or colleague. Address them by using whatever name they called themselves during your interview. Then, leave a blank line between your greeting and the rest of the email.\\nA less formal greeting you can use is, “Hi, Name.” Put the person’s name in place of “Name.” Being too formal can make you sound stiff, so you will usually be fine using a simple greeting like this one.\\nA possible formal opening is, “Dear Mr. Hiring Manager.” Be sure to use the proper pronoun and substitute their last name for the “Hiring Manager” part.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Thank the recruiter or hiring manager for the interview.\", \"描述\": \"Use the body of your email to provide context. Start with a polite, professional opening so you sound like a diligent candidate. The ideal way to do is to mention the interview, posing your email as a follow-up. Consider mentioning the position you applied to in order to emphasize what you want.\\nSay something like, “I enjoyed meeting you last week and wanted you to know how excited I am about the office manager position.”\\nYou may wish to mention the date of your interview. If you included it in the subject line, mentioning it in the text isn’t required.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask in clear, concise words about the status of your application.\", \"描述\": \"Make it known that you are interested in how the application process is progressing. Be clear about this, but avoid demanding a response. This is the main part of your email and you should limit it to 1 to 3 short paragraphs.\\nFor instance, you may say, “I am interested in the status of my application.”\\nYou can list some reasons why you are a good hire, but be brief. For instance, try writing, “You mentioned you are looking for a hardworking person. I believe I have what it takes and hope I get a chance to show it to your company.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Offer to answer any questions or concerns your contact has.\", \"描述\": \"Making the offer gives the other person an excuse to reach out to you. Leave the invitation open-ended, indicating that you are available no matter what the other person has to say. Sometimes interviewers will call you back, giving you a chance to gain feedback and erase any doubts they may have about your application.\\nIndicate your openness by saying something like, “Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns I can answer.”\\nAnother way to encourage them to respond to you is to ask a question you forgot during the interview, such as, “What would someone need to do by the end of the year to prove they were the right hire?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Sign off with your first and last name.\", \"描述\": \"Your name at the bottom of the email serves as a reminder to your interviewer. Sure, you won’t break the law by leaving it off, especially if your name is in your email address. However, it is a good business practice that helps the interviewer identify and remember you.\\nSign off with a line such as “Thanks, Your Name.” Typically, including your first and last name is the best bet because the interviewer doesn’t know you well and may be dealing with a lot of different candidates.\\nIf you end up exchanging several emails with the interviewer in rapid succession, you do not need to put your name on each one. Put your name on the email if, after a few weeks, you start a new message chain.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicating Successfully\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask a few days after you expected to hear from the interviewer.\", \"描述\": \"Your interviewer probably said something like, “We’ll let you know in a couple of weeks.” To avoid the risk of annoying the interviewer, wait out those couple of weeks. Let about 4 or 5 days pass after any specific deadline you were given.\\nAsking for information too soon can decrease your chances of getting hired. If the interviewer feels annoyed by your calls, it reflects poorly on your candidacy.\\nRemind yourself that interviewers are often busy people. They may still be conducting interviews, trying to make a decision, calling applicants back, or out of the office.\\nIf the interviewer didn’t set a specific deadline for a decision, wait at least 1 or 2 weeks before contacting them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be specific and to the point when asking about your status.\", \"描述\": \"Being called out of the blue may feel intrusive to the interviewer. Avoid taking up a lot of their time. As soon as you can after greeting them, state your reason for calling. This will improve your chances of getting a clear response as well.\\nTell your contact something like, “I am eager to find out if you have had a chance to review my application.” This is all you need to say to convey your request.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak in a polite, professional tone.\", \"描述\": \"While you should make the point of your call known right away, you should never come off as rude or demanding. Treat the person like they are already your new colleague and contact. Never try to force the person into making a decision. Instead, sound like you want the job but aren’t desperate for it.\\nYou might tell your contact, “I’d like to inquire about the status of my application and how the hiring process is progressing. Since our interview, I’ve been very excited about the opportunity to join your company.”\\nNever accuse or attack the person, no matter how upset you are. You will burn bridges and cost yourself future opportunities.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid overemphasizing your qualities as an applicant.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to sell yourself in your call or email. That is what the interview was for. Repeating your qualifications can feel tedious to the interviewer or worse, make you sound desperate. Even if you are fit for the job, you may end up bragging and get on your contact’s bad side.\\nThis is especially evident if you talk to someone other than the person who interviewed you. Focus on getting information about your application status. Only talk about yourself if you are asked to do so.\\nYou can briefly emphasize some of your qualities, such as your hardworking nature and eagerness to work. However, the act of following up your interview is meant to display these qualities.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give the other person at least 3 days to reply.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes you won’t get a response back from the person you contacted. They may be busy or out of the office. If you don’t hear back, you can call again or send another follow-up email. Continue to be patient and professional until you get a response.\\nIf you still can’t get a response after multiple attempts, you may be able to contact someone higher in the organization. Try a hiring manager or the HR department.\\nSometimes you need to know when to give up. Getting silence despite multiple attempts at reaching out isn’t a good sign, so consider focusing your energy on other opportunities.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Waiting can be tough, but stay strong. Keep yourself busy to avoid the temptation of calling or emailing too early.\\n\", \"When you go in for an interview, make sure you get a timeline. You are allowed to ask your interviewer how long you are expected to wait to hear back from them.\\n\", \"When you follow up with the interview, don’t be afraid to ask when you can expect a decision. Many times businesses are vague about the application process, but you have a right to know when to expect a yes or a no.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,432 | How to Ask About Getting Your Period | 1. Preparing Your Questions
1-1. Decide who you would like to ask about getting your period.
There are a variety of people that you could ask, and some may feel more comfortable than others, in terms of having the conversation. Choose the person with whom you would like to have this conversation, and have a back-up person, just in case.
Mother
Older sister
Older female cousin
Grandmother
Aunt
Female teacher
Female guidance counselor
Doctor or medical professional
A female school nurse
1-2. Be prepared to ask a male figure in your life if you do not have access to a trusted female figure.
If your mother is not present in your life, and you have no other women with whom you feel comfortable talking to, be prepared to try to have the discussion with a male figure.
You could ask your father, uncle, grandfather, male teacher, or a male guidance counselor.
Instead of having the conversation with a male figure, you could ask him to connect you with a female he knows who would be willing to talk with you about this, like a female coworker or neighbor.
1-3. Create a list of questions you have about getting your period.
You likely have many questions, and you want to be sure to get all of them answered. Compile them into a list to ask during the conversation.
“How old were you when you got your first period?”
“What happens during a period?”
“What is a menstrual cycle?”
“Does having your period hurt?”
“How long does a period last?”
“What do I need to do to get ready for my period?”
“How will I know if I might be having my first period?”
“Why do girls and women get periods?”
“Do you know of any books or websites that I can read to get even more information?”
“What does it mean when you haven't gotten your period by the 'normal age?'”
“What are the differences between different feminine hygiene products?”
1-4. Choose when and where to have the conversation.
This is a sensitive topic for many girls and women, and it can be embarrassing and awkward to talk about getting your period. Plan out when and where you will have this discussion with your chosen trusted person.
It might be best to do it at a time when no one else is around or will be interrupting. Perhaps you could arrange it for an evening when you know other family members will be busy out of the house.
Have the conversation in a place where you feel comfortable, like at home, in your guidance counselor's office, or in a doctor's office.
1-5. Pre-arrange when you will have the conversation.
It is perfectly acceptable to bring up the conversation on-the-spot, but it could be helpful to pre-arrange when it will take place.
Ask your trusted chosen person if they have some time to chat with you after dinner, after school, or at whatever time you had in mind.
In the event that you plan to have the conversation with a teacher, guidance counselor, or doctor, you will likely need to schedule an appointment.
2. Talking about Your Period and Getting Answers
2-1. Ask your chosen trusted person if he/she feels comfortable having this conversation with you.
Especially if you are trying to have this conversation with someone other than a close female family member, this person may not feel comfortable or feel that it is his/her place to talk about this with you.
“I'm hoping to talk with you about getting my period. Do you feel comfortable having that conversation with me?”
“I think I might be getting close to having my first period. I feel comfortable talking to you about this, but if you don't feel comfortable, I can talk to someone else about it.”
2-2. Go through your list of questions.
Once you have confirmed that your chosen trusted person is agreeable to having the conversation with you, start working your way through your list of questions.
Give him/her time to answer each question.
If other questions pop into your mind as he/she is talking, do not be afraid to ask them.
Be confident in asking your questions. It is completely normal and natural to have a period, and your chosen trusted adult almost certainly expects you to get yours soon, if you are within the average normal age range (10-15 years old).
2-3. Take notes during the conversation, if you want to have information to which you can refer back.
Some people learn best by hearing, but other people learn by copying information onto paper. If you think you will want to be able to come back to this information someday, have a notepad with you during the talk to take notes on what you learn.
2-4. Thank your chosen trusted person for talking about this with you.
Although the conversation might feel a little awkward, it is important to show your appreciation that he/she took the time to talk with you.
“Thank you for talking about this with me. I feel a lot more comfortable and ready for it to happen.”
“Having this talk with you really helped me. I know so much more now. Thank you!”
“You really helped me learn a lot about getting my period. Thanks for being willing to talk with me.”
3. Recognizing Signs and Symptoms
3-1. Consider what types of supplies you want to use when you get your period.
There are several options for feminine hygiene products, which are the items girls and women use during their periods. Decide which type(s) will be best for you with the help of your chosen trusted person.
Disposable pads
Cloth pads
Tampons
Menstrual cups
Pantyliners
3-2. Make an emergency period kit.
You never know when you might get your first period. Prepare yourself for it by creating an emergency period kit to carry in your backpack or in a small purse.
Keep at least a couple of the feminine hygiene products listed above inside the kit.
Use a small opaque makeup bag or a small plastic container to hold your supplies.
3-3. Know the common signs that indicate your period will start soon.
There are certain hormonal and physical signs and symptoms of oncoming puberty. Be on the lookout for these signs so that you have a “heads up” that your period may start soon (most likely sometime within the upcoming months).
Breast development
Growth of pubic and underarm hair
White-colored vaginal discharge
3-4. Familiarize yourself with the symptoms of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, or PMS.
In addition to the hormonal changes that indicate you will soon enter puberty, most girls and women experience other symptoms that are directly related to their periods starting. PMS can happen before every period.
Cramps in your abdominal/pelvic region
Headaches
Mood swings
Tender breasts
Breakouts on your skin, particularly your face
3-5. Talk to your chosen trusted person about scheduling a doctor's appointment if you are at least 15-16 years old and still have not gotten your first period.
There are medical conditions that can prevent a girl from getting her period. If you are 15-16 years old and have never had a period, you need to see a medical professional to determine what is going on with your body.
Your doctor will run certain tests to determine what your body's hormones are doing. He/She will also likely ask you questions about your diet and lifestyle and will consider factors such as your height, weight, and family health history.
Tips
When you get your period, you may not have had any noticeable symptoms. This is also normal, just as long as you are prepared for it to happen, you will be okay.
Your period might come at an unexpected time, so you must always be prepared by keeping supplies tucked into your purse, backpack, binder, or locker.
It is best to have this conversation before you have your first period, so that you can be prepared.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Your Questions\\n1-1. Decide who you would like to ask about getting your period.\\nThere are a variety of people that you could ask, and some may feel more comfortable than others, in terms of having the conversation. Choose the person with whom you would like to have this conversation, and have a back-up person, just in case.\\nMother\\nOlder sister\\nOlder female cousin\\nGrandmother\\nAunt\\nFemale teacher\\nFemale guidance counselor\\nDoctor or medical professional\\nA female school nurse\\n1-2. Be prepared to ask a male figure in your life if you do not have access to a trusted female figure.\\nIf your mother is not present in your life, and you have no other women with whom you feel comfortable talking to, be prepared to try to have the discussion with a male figure.\\nYou could ask your father, uncle, grandfather, male teacher, or a male guidance counselor.\\nInstead of having the conversation with a male figure, you could ask him to connect you with a female he knows who would be willing to talk with you about this, like a female coworker or neighbor.\\n1-3. Create a list of questions you have about getting your period.\\nYou likely have many questions, and you want to be sure to get all of them answered. Compile them into a list to ask during the conversation.\\n“How old were you when you got your first period?”\\n“What happens during a period?”\\n“What is a menstrual cycle?”\\n“Does having your period hurt?”\\n“How long does a period last?”\\n“What do I need to do to get ready for my period?”\\n“How will I know if I might be having my first period?”\\n“Why do girls and women get periods?”\\n“Do you know of any books or websites that I can read to get even more information?”\\n“What does it mean when you haven't gotten your period by the 'normal age?'”\\n“What are the differences between different feminine hygiene products?”\\n1-4. Choose when and where to have the conversation.\\nThis is a sensitive topic for many girls and women, and it can be embarrassing and awkward to talk about getting your period. Plan out when and where you will have this discussion with your chosen trusted person.\\nIt might be best to do it at a time when no one else is around or will be interrupting. Perhaps you could arrange it for an evening when you know other family members will be busy out of the house.\\nHave the conversation in a place where you feel comfortable, like at home, in your guidance counselor's office, or in a doctor's office.\\n1-5. Pre-arrange when you will have the conversation.\\nIt is perfectly acceptable to bring up the conversation on-the-spot, but it could be helpful to pre-arrange when it will take place.\\nAsk your trusted chosen person if they have some time to chat with you after dinner, after school, or at whatever time you had in mind.\\nIn the event that you plan to have the conversation with a teacher, guidance counselor, or doctor, you will likely need to schedule an appointment.\\n2. Talking about Your Period and Getting Answers\\n2-1. Ask your chosen trusted person if he/she feels comfortable having this conversation with you.\\nEspecially if you are trying to have this conversation with someone other than a close female family member, this person may not feel comfortable or feel that it is his/her place to talk about this with you.\\n“I'm hoping to talk with you about getting my period. Do you feel comfortable having that conversation with me?”\\n“I think I might be getting close to having my first period. I feel comfortable talking to you about this, but if you don't feel comfortable, I can talk to someone else about it.”\\n2-2. Go through your list of questions.\\nOnce you have confirmed that your chosen trusted person is agreeable to having the conversation with you, start working your way through your list of questions.\\nGive him/her time to answer each question.\\nIf other questions pop into your mind as he/she is talking, do not be afraid to ask them.\\nBe confident in asking your questions. It is completely normal and natural to have a period, and your chosen trusted adult almost certainly expects you to get yours soon, if you are within the average normal age range (10-15 years old).\\n2-3. Take notes during the conversation, if you want to have information to which you can refer back.\\nSome people learn best by hearing, but other people learn by copying information onto paper. If you think you will want to be able to come back to this information someday, have a notepad with you during the talk to take notes on what you learn.\\n2-4. Thank your chosen trusted person for talking about this with you.\\nAlthough the conversation might feel a little awkward, it is important to show your appreciation that he/she took the time to talk with you.\\n“Thank you for talking about this with me. I feel a lot more comfortable and ready for it to happen.”\\n“Having this talk with you really helped me. I know so much more now. Thank you!”\\n“You really helped me learn a lot about getting my period. Thanks for being willing to talk with me.”\\n3. Recognizing Signs and Symptoms\\n3-1. Consider what types of supplies you want to use when you get your period.\\nThere are several options for feminine hygiene products, which are the items girls and women use during their periods. Decide which type(s) will be best for you with the help of your chosen trusted person.\\nDisposable pads\\nCloth pads\\nTampons\\nMenstrual cups\\nPantyliners\\n3-2. Make an emergency period kit.\\nYou never know when you might get your first period. Prepare yourself for it by creating an emergency period kit to carry in your backpack or in a small purse.\\nKeep at least a couple of the feminine hygiene products listed above inside the kit.\\nUse a small opaque makeup bag or a small plastic container to hold your supplies.\\n3-3. Know the common signs that indicate your period will start soon.\\nThere are certain hormonal and physical signs and symptoms of oncoming puberty. Be on the lookout for these signs so that you have a “heads up” that your period may start soon (most likely sometime within the upcoming months).\\nBreast development\\nGrowth of pubic and underarm hair\\nWhite-colored vaginal discharge\\n3-4. Familiarize yourself with the symptoms of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, or PMS.\\nIn addition to the hormonal changes that indicate you will soon enter puberty, most girls and women experience other symptoms that are directly related to their periods starting. PMS can happen before every period.\\nCramps in your abdominal/pelvic region\\nHeadaches\\nMood swings\\nTender breasts\\nBreakouts on your skin, particularly your face\\n3-5. Talk to your chosen trusted person about scheduling a doctor's appointment if you are at least 15-16 years old and still have not gotten your first period.\\nThere are medical conditions that can prevent a girl from getting her period. If you are 15-16 years old and have never had a period, you need to see a medical professional to determine what is going on with your body.\\nYour doctor will run certain tests to determine what your body's hormones are doing. He/She will also likely ask you questions about your diet and lifestyle and will consider factors such as your height, weight, and family health history.\\nTips\\nWhen you get your period, you may not have had any noticeable symptoms. This is also normal, just as long as you are prepared for it to happen, you will be okay.\\nYour period might come at an unexpected time, so you must always be prepared by keeping supplies tucked into your purse, backpack, binder, or locker.\\nIt is best to have this conversation before you have your first period, so that you can be prepared.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Getting your period can be a scary and uncertain time in your life. Some girls get ridiculed for starting their periods, but it is a natural process that happens to millions of girls and women all around the world. It is perfectly acceptable to have questions about it, and it is important to be informed.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Your Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide who you would like to ask about getting your period.\", \"描述\": \"There are a variety of people that you could ask, and some may feel more comfortable than others, in terms of having the conversation. Choose the person with whom you would like to have this conversation, and have a back-up person, just in case.\\nMother\\nOlder sister\\nOlder female cousin\\nGrandmother\\nAunt\\nFemale teacher\\nFemale guidance counselor\\nDoctor or medical professional\\nA female school nurse\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to ask a male figure in your life if you do not have access to a trusted female figure.\", \"描述\": \"If your mother is not present in your life, and you have no other women with whom you feel comfortable talking to, be prepared to try to have the discussion with a male figure.\\nYou could ask your father, uncle, grandfather, male teacher, or a male guidance counselor.\\nInstead of having the conversation with a male figure, you could ask him to connect you with a female he knows who would be willing to talk with you about this, like a female coworker or neighbor.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a list of questions you have about getting your period.\", \"描述\": \"You likely have many questions, and you want to be sure to get all of them answered. Compile them into a list to ask during the conversation.\\n“How old were you when you got your first period?”\\n“What happens during a period?”\\n“What is a menstrual cycle?”\\n“Does having your period hurt?”\\n“How long does a period last?”\\n“What do I need to do to get ready for my period?”\\n“How will I know if I might be having my first period?”\\n“Why do girls and women get periods?”\\n“Do you know of any books or websites that I can read to get even more information?”\\n“What does it mean when you haven't gotten your period by the 'normal age?'”\\n“What are the differences between different feminine hygiene products?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose when and where to have the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"This is a sensitive topic for many girls and women, and it can be embarrassing and awkward to talk about getting your period. Plan out when and where you will have this discussion with your chosen trusted person.\\nIt might be best to do it at a time when no one else is around or will be interrupting. Perhaps you could arrange it for an evening when you know other family members will be busy out of the house.\\nHave the conversation in a place where you feel comfortable, like at home, in your guidance counselor's office, or in a doctor's office.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pre-arrange when you will have the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"It is perfectly acceptable to bring up the conversation on-the-spot, but it could be helpful to pre-arrange when it will take place.\\nAsk your trusted chosen person if they have some time to chat with you after dinner, after school, or at whatever time you had in mind.\\nIn the event that you plan to have the conversation with a teacher, guidance counselor, or doctor, you will likely need to schedule an appointment.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talking about Your Period and Getting Answers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your chosen trusted person if he/she feels comfortable having this conversation with you.\", \"描述\": \"Especially if you are trying to have this conversation with someone other than a close female family member, this person may not feel comfortable or feel that it is his/her place to talk about this with you.\\n“I'm hoping to talk with you about getting my period. Do you feel comfortable having that conversation with me?”\\n“I think I might be getting close to having my first period. I feel comfortable talking to you about this, but if you don't feel comfortable, I can talk to someone else about it.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go through your list of questions.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have confirmed that your chosen trusted person is agreeable to having the conversation with you, start working your way through your list of questions.\\nGive him/her time to answer each question.\\nIf other questions pop into your mind as he/she is talking, do not be afraid to ask them.\\nBe confident in asking your questions. It is completely normal and natural to have a period, and your chosen trusted adult almost certainly expects you to get yours soon, if you are within the average normal age range (10-15 years old).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take notes during the conversation, if you want to have information to which you can refer back.\", \"描述\": \"Some people learn best by hearing, but other people learn by copying information onto paper. If you think you will want to be able to come back to this information someday, have a notepad with you during the talk to take notes on what you learn.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Thank your chosen trusted person for talking about this with you.\", \"描述\": \"Although the conversation might feel a little awkward, it is important to show your appreciation that he/she took the time to talk with you.\\n“Thank you for talking about this with me. I feel a lot more comfortable and ready for it to happen.”\\n“Having this talk with you really helped me. I know so much more now. Thank you!”\\n“You really helped me learn a lot about getting my period. Thanks for being willing to talk with me.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognizing Signs and Symptoms\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider what types of supplies you want to use when you get your period.\", \"描述\": \"There are several options for feminine hygiene products, which are the items girls and women use during their periods. Decide which type(s) will be best for you with the help of your chosen trusted person.\\nDisposable pads\\nCloth pads\\nTampons\\nMenstrual cups\\nPantyliners\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make an emergency period kit.\", \"描述\": \"You never know when you might get your first period. Prepare yourself for it by creating an emergency period kit to carry in your backpack or in a small purse.\\nKeep at least a couple of the feminine hygiene products listed above inside the kit.\\nUse a small opaque makeup bag or a small plastic container to hold your supplies.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know the common signs that indicate your period will start soon.\", \"描述\": \"There are certain hormonal and physical signs and symptoms of oncoming puberty. Be on the lookout for these signs so that you have a “heads up” that your period may start soon (most likely sometime within the upcoming months).\\nBreast development\\nGrowth of pubic and underarm hair\\nWhite-colored vaginal discharge\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Familiarize yourself with the symptoms of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, or PMS.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to the hormonal changes that indicate you will soon enter puberty, most girls and women experience other symptoms that are directly related to their periods starting. PMS can happen before every period.\\nCramps in your abdominal/pelvic region\\nHeadaches\\nMood swings\\nTender breasts\\nBreakouts on your skin, particularly your face\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk to your chosen trusted person about scheduling a doctor's appointment if you are at least 15-16 years old and still have not gotten your first period.\", \"描述\": \"There are medical conditions that can prevent a girl from getting her period. If you are 15-16 years old and have never had a period, you need to see a medical professional to determine what is going on with your body.\\nYour doctor will run certain tests to determine what your body's hormones are doing. He/She will also likely ask you questions about your diet and lifestyle and will consider factors such as your height, weight, and family health history.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When you get your period, you may not have had any noticeable symptoms. This is also normal, just as long as you are prepared for it to happen, you will be okay.\\n\", \"Your period might come at an unexpected time, so you must always be prepared by keeping supplies tucked into your purse, backpack, binder, or locker.\\n\", \"It is best to have this conversation before you have your first period, so that you can be prepared.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,433 | How to Ask About Next Steps in the Interview Processs | 1. Ending the Interview
1-1. Ask about the hiring process.
It's common for employers to ask you if you have any questions about the job or the process, but they may not always ask. Asking about the next step directly will show initiative and that you're excited about the job.
Ask: "What happens after the interview in your hiring process?" or “When do you expect to make a decision?”
Depending on the type of work, they may tell you they’re going to check your references or hold another round of interviews.
1-2. Inquire if there's anything you need to do before they make an offer.
This will help inform a tentative hiring timeline and shows the interviewer that you're eager and willing to do what's necessary to get the job. Depending on the work, you may need to get fingerprinted, submit a background check, or take an assessment test.
Ask: "Is there anything I need to do before you make an offer?" or “Do you need any documents from me?”
1-3. Request to know when you can expect to hear from them.
Asking about the timeline for their hiring process will help you plan for the near future. It'll also give you an idea of when you should make a follow-up call if that day passes by without hearing from them.
Ask: "When can I expect to hear from you?" or “What days will you be holding the second round of interviews?”
1-4. Set up a point of contact.
A point of contact is someone you can call to inquire about your application status. Often, it will be the person who interviewed you but don't assume that's always the case.
Ask: "Who can I contact about the hiring process?" or “Should I contact you or someone else if I have any questions moving forward?”
Ask for their business card, if possible, so you have the correct spelling of their name and email address.
1-5. Clarify whether you should call or email them to follow up.
Your potential employer may have a million things going on, so it's important to respect their boundaries and preferences—you don't want your phone call to disrupt their day! It's more respectful to ask how you should contact them instead of assuming what works for you will also work for them.
Ask: "How do you prefer I reach out to you?" or "Do they prefer that I email or call them?"
If they have given you a business card, circle the preferred contact information so you don't forget.
If possible, ask what a good time to call would be.
1-6. Reiterate your interest in the job.
Letting the interviewer know how excited you are about the opportunity will show passion and drive. Keep it simple because gushing too much can come off as disingenuous.
For instance, you might say, "Our discussion has made me excited about the work and I'd love to join the team if you think I'm a good fit."
1-7. Thank the interviewer for meeting with you.
Showing gratitude is a sign of respect and will leave a good impression. Whether your interview is in person or via phone or video chat, thanking them is one of the last things you should say before you leave or end the call. Use their first name if they've established you can call them that. Otherwise, use their full name.
Say: "Thank you for your time, Mary, I enjoyed our discussion” or "I appreciate your taking the time to speak with me, Mrs. Normet."
If they offer you a handshake, shake their hand confidently with a firm (but not too firm!) grip.
2. Asking After the Interview
2-1. Call your point of contact 1 or 2 days later via their preferred method.
If the interviewer is your point of contact, reach out to them a day or 2 later. Note that this isn't a formal follow-up inquiring about the status of your application. You should still contact them to ask about the process 1 to 2 weeks later or whenever the day they said they'd contact you has passed.
Say something like: "Good afternoon, Mrs. Normet. I enjoyed our conversation the other day. I’m just curious to know what comes next in your hiring process?"
2-2. Send a friendly email asking what you can expect.
If the potential employer requested that you email instead of call, do that. Send it at an appropriate time between 7:00 AM and 7:00 PM and write in a friendly semi-formal tone. Use a proper address at the beginning and a friendly salutation at the end.
“Dear Mrs. Normet, I enjoyed getting learn more about the role. It seems like a fantastic opportunity for me if I were to be offered the position. I have a few more questions for you: What can I expect with regards to the hiring process? Is there anything I need to do before the next stage? Have a great week, Tom Lemere”
2-3. Choose a non-intrusive time to call and ask what to expect.
Don't call first thing in the morning or at the very end of the day because those times can be extremely busy. If the interviewer gave you a preferred window to contact them, abide by their suggestion and call within that window. Otherwise, rely on clues you gathered about the company culture during your interview.
“Good afternoon, Mary, this is Tom Lemere. Thank you for meeting with me the other day. I’m calling to ask what I can expect to happen next in the hiring process?”
For instance, if it’s a laid-back place with slow mornings and busy afternoons, call during the morning hours so you’re not interrupting their rush hour.
Tips
Write down any questions you have about the job and the work culture before your interview.[13]
X
Research source
Wear a soft smile when you’re speaking on the phone to make you sound positive and confident.
Warnings
Don’t call or email your point of contact more than once because it could come off as desperate or suggest you don’t have appropriate communication standards.
Avoid sending an email at an odd hour of the night like 3:00 AM because they’ll see the time stamp and may think you have questionable habits outside of work.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Ending the Interview\\n1-1. Ask about the hiring process.\\nIt's common for employers to ask you if you have any questions about the job or the process, but they may not always ask. Asking about the next step directly will show initiative and that you're excited about the job.\\nAsk: \\\"What happens after the interview in your hiring process?\\\" or “When do you expect to make a decision?”\\nDepending on the type of work, they may tell you they’re going to check your references or hold another round of interviews.\\n1-2. Inquire if there's anything you need to do before they make an offer.\\nThis will help inform a tentative hiring timeline and shows the interviewer that you're eager and willing to do what's necessary to get the job. Depending on the work, you may need to get fingerprinted, submit a background check, or take an assessment test.\\nAsk: \\\"Is there anything I need to do before you make an offer?\\\" or “Do you need any documents from me?”\\n1-3. Request to know when you can expect to hear from them.\\nAsking about the timeline for their hiring process will help you plan for the near future. It'll also give you an idea of when you should make a follow-up call if that day passes by without hearing from them.\\nAsk: \\\"When can I expect to hear from you?\\\" or “What days will you be holding the second round of interviews?”\\n1-4. Set up a point of contact.\\nA point of contact is someone you can call to inquire about your application status. Often, it will be the person who interviewed you but don't assume that's always the case.\\nAsk: \\\"Who can I contact about the hiring process?\\\" or “Should I contact you or someone else if I have any questions moving forward?”\\nAsk for their business card, if possible, so you have the correct spelling of their name and email address.\\n1-5. Clarify whether you should call or email them to follow up.\\nYour potential employer may have a million things going on, so it's important to respect their boundaries and preferences—you don't want your phone call to disrupt their day! It's more respectful to ask how you should contact them instead of assuming what works for you will also work for them.\\nAsk: \\\"How do you prefer I reach out to you?\\\" or \\\"Do they prefer that I email or call them?\\\"\\nIf they have given you a business card, circle the preferred contact information so you don't forget.\\nIf possible, ask what a good time to call would be.\\n1-6. Reiterate your interest in the job.\\nLetting the interviewer know how excited you are about the opportunity will show passion and drive. Keep it simple because gushing too much can come off as disingenuous.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"Our discussion has made me excited about the work and I'd love to join the team if you think I'm a good fit.\\\"\\n1-7. Thank the interviewer for meeting with you.\\nShowing gratitude is a sign of respect and will leave a good impression. Whether your interview is in person or via phone or video chat, thanking them is one of the last things you should say before you leave or end the call. Use their first name if they've established you can call them that. Otherwise, use their full name.\\nSay: \\\"Thank you for your time, Mary, I enjoyed our discussion” or \\\"I appreciate your taking the time to speak with me, Mrs. Normet.\\\"\\nIf they offer you a handshake, shake their hand confidently with a firm (but not too firm!) grip.\\n2. Asking After the Interview\\n2-1. Call your point of contact 1 or 2 days later via their preferred method.\\nIf the interviewer is your point of contact, reach out to them a day or 2 later. Note that this isn't a formal follow-up inquiring about the status of your application. You should still contact them to ask about the process 1 to 2 weeks later or whenever the day they said they'd contact you has passed.\\nSay something like: \\\"Good afternoon, Mrs. Normet. I enjoyed our conversation the other day. I’m just curious to know what comes next in your hiring process?\\\"\\n2-2. Send a friendly email asking what you can expect.\\nIf the potential employer requested that you email instead of call, do that. Send it at an appropriate time between 7:00 AM and 7:00 PM and write in a friendly semi-formal tone. Use a proper address at the beginning and a friendly salutation at the end.\\n“Dear Mrs. Normet, I enjoyed getting learn more about the role. It seems like a fantastic opportunity for me if I were to be offered the position. I have a few more questions for you: What can I expect with regards to the hiring process? Is there anything I need to do before the next stage? Have a great week, Tom Lemere”\\n2-3. Choose a non-intrusive time to call and ask what to expect.\\nDon't call first thing in the morning or at the very end of the day because those times can be extremely busy. If the interviewer gave you a preferred window to contact them, abide by their suggestion and call within that window. Otherwise, rely on clues you gathered about the company culture during your interview.\\n“Good afternoon, Mary, this is Tom Lemere. Thank you for meeting with me the other day. I’m calling to ask what I can expect to happen next in the hiring process?”\\nFor instance, if it’s a laid-back place with slow mornings and busy afternoons, call during the morning hours so you’re not interrupting their rush hour.\\nTips\\nWrite down any questions you have about the job and the work culture before your interview.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWear a soft smile when you’re speaking on the phone to make you sound positive and confident.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t call or email your point of contact more than once because it could come off as desperate or suggest you don’t have appropriate communication standards.\\nAvoid sending an email at an odd hour of the night like 3:00 AM because they’ll see the time stamp and may think you have questionable habits outside of work.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The hiring process can be anxiety-provoking, so don’t hesitate to ask about what comes next. Knowing what to expect after your interview can give you more insight into the company culture and give you a clue as to whether or not they're considering others for the position. Ideally, you should ask about the next steps in the process at the end of the interview. However, if you forgot or didn't get a clear answer, calling or emailing them afterward is an appropriate alternative.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ending the Interview\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask about the hiring process.\", \"描述\": \"It's common for employers to ask you if you have any questions about the job or the process, but they may not always ask. Asking about the next step directly will show initiative and that you're excited about the job.\\nAsk: \\\"What happens after the interview in your hiring process?\\\" or “When do you expect to make a decision?”\\nDepending on the type of work, they may tell you they’re going to check your references or hold another round of interviews.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Inquire if there's anything you need to do before they make an offer.\", \"描述\": \"This will help inform a tentative hiring timeline and shows the interviewer that you're eager and willing to do what's necessary to get the job. Depending on the work, you may need to get fingerprinted, submit a background check, or take an assessment test.\\nAsk: \\\"Is there anything I need to do before you make an offer?\\\" or “Do you need any documents from me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Request to know when you can expect to hear from them.\", \"描述\": \"Asking about the timeline for their hiring process will help you plan for the near future. It'll also give you an idea of when you should make a follow-up call if that day passes by without hearing from them.\\nAsk: \\\"When can I expect to hear from you?\\\" or “What days will you be holding the second round of interviews?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set up a point of contact.\", \"描述\": \"A point of contact is someone you can call to inquire about your application status. Often, it will be the person who interviewed you but don't assume that's always the case.\\nAsk: \\\"Who can I contact about the hiring process?\\\" or “Should I contact you or someone else if I have any questions moving forward?”\\nAsk for their business card, if possible, so you have the correct spelling of their name and email address.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Clarify whether you should call or email them to follow up.\", \"描述\": \"Your potential employer may have a million things going on, so it's important to respect their boundaries and preferences—you don't want your phone call to disrupt their day! It's more respectful to ask how you should contact them instead of assuming what works for you will also work for them.\\nAsk: \\\"How do you prefer I reach out to you?\\\" or \\\"Do they prefer that I email or call them?\\\"\\nIf they have given you a business card, circle the preferred contact information so you don't forget.\\nIf possible, ask what a good time to call would be.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reiterate your interest in the job.\", \"描述\": \"Letting the interviewer know how excited you are about the opportunity will show passion and drive. Keep it simple because gushing too much can come off as disingenuous.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"Our discussion has made me excited about the work and I'd love to join the team if you think I'm a good fit.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Thank the interviewer for meeting with you.\", \"描述\": \"Showing gratitude is a sign of respect and will leave a good impression. Whether your interview is in person or via phone or video chat, thanking them is one of the last things you should say before you leave or end the call. Use their first name if they've established you can call them that. Otherwise, use their full name.\\nSay: \\\"Thank you for your time, Mary, I enjoyed our discussion” or \\\"I appreciate your taking the time to speak with me, Mrs. Normet.\\\"\\nIf they offer you a handshake, shake their hand confidently with a firm (but not too firm!) grip.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking After the Interview\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Call your point of contact 1 or 2 days later via their preferred method.\", \"描述\": \"If the interviewer is your point of contact, reach out to them a day or 2 later. Note that this isn't a formal follow-up inquiring about the status of your application. You should still contact them to ask about the process 1 to 2 weeks later or whenever the day they said they'd contact you has passed.\\nSay something like: \\\"Good afternoon, Mrs. Normet. I enjoyed our conversation the other day. I’m just curious to know what comes next in your hiring process?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send a friendly email asking what you can expect.\", \"描述\": \"If the potential employer requested that you email instead of call, do that. Send it at an appropriate time between 7:00 AM and 7:00 PM and write in a friendly semi-formal tone. Use a proper address at the beginning and a friendly salutation at the end.\\n“Dear Mrs. Normet, I enjoyed getting learn more about the role. It seems like a fantastic opportunity for me if I were to be offered the position. I have a few more questions for you: What can I expect with regards to the hiring process? Is there anything I need to do before the next stage? Have a great week, Tom Lemere”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose a non-intrusive time to call and ask what to expect.\", \"描述\": \"Don't call first thing in the morning or at the very end of the day because those times can be extremely busy. If the interviewer gave you a preferred window to contact them, abide by their suggestion and call within that window. Otherwise, rely on clues you gathered about the company culture during your interview.\\n“Good afternoon, Mary, this is Tom Lemere. Thank you for meeting with me the other day. I’m calling to ask what I can expect to happen next in the hiring process?”\\nFor instance, if it’s a laid-back place with slow mornings and busy afternoons, call during the morning hours so you’re not interrupting their rush hour.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Write down any questions you have about the job and the work culture before your interview.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Wear a soft smile when you’re speaking on the phone to make you sound positive and confident.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t call or email your point of contact more than once because it could come off as desperate or suggest you don’t have appropriate communication standards.\\n\", \"Avoid sending an email at an odd hour of the night like 3:00 AM because they’ll see the time stamp and may think you have questionable habits outside of work.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,434 | How to Ask About Salary | 1. Practicing Your Negotiation
1-1. Gather information about what people in similar positions earn.
Doing research will allow you to see the typical salary for a position like yours. This information will help you defend your request for a higher salary.
In the United States, the Bureau of Labor Statistics also maintains a detailed salary database that is broken down by region and profession: https://stats.bls.gov/oes/tables.htm.
Narrow down the typical salary range by your geographic location, years of experience, education level, and verifiable skills by clicking on your specific profession and scrolling through the available data.
1-2. Phrase the question so you sound confident and natural.
It's completely normal to feel nervous about bringing up the issue of salary. You can ease some of this nervousness by preparing and practicing the question ahead of time.
Asking directly about salary is one way you can demonstrate to the interviewer that you have the confidence and communication skills to thrive in the position for which you're applying.
You could say, “What is the expected salary for this position?” or "How much can I expect to earn per year in this role?"
1-3. Role play with a friend or family member to practice negotiating.
Practicing a salary negotiation will help build up your confidence. Your friend or family member will also be able to give you valuable feedback on your negotiating style.
If you don't feel comfortable practicing with someone else, try practicing in front of a mirror.
As you practice, try to anticipate the hiring manager's responses to your request.
2. Discussing Salary with a Potential Employer
2-1. Ask about salary as soon as possible so you don't waste your time.
Ask about the salary range of a job either when you first talk to a recruiter or during your first interview. If you don't bring up the issue of salary early in the process, you may not find out what the job pays until you're offered the position.
A good time to bring up the issue of salary is when the interviewer asks you if you have any questions for them.
If you're unwilling to accept an annual salary below a certain amount, you should make that clear early in the process, so you and the recruiter are on the same page.
2-2. Raise the issue using simple and direct language.
While asking a friend or a neighbor their salary might be rude in many cultures, asking about the salary range of a job for which you're applying is not. Most recruiters and hiring managers expect to be asked this question. “What is the salary range for this position?” is one way to phrase this difficult question.
2-3. Try to avoid discussing your current or past salary.
During the interview process, an interviewer may ask you how much you're earning at your current position. You should try to avoid giving them a direct answer because if your current salary is considerably lower than the position's average salary, the hiring manager may lower their initial salary offer. Instead, try to deflect the question by telling the interviewer your salary expectations.
For example, in response to a question like: “What is your current salary?” politely avoid answering by saying something like: “I'm looking for a job that pays somewhere in the range of $40,000-45,000 per year.”
If an interviewer continues to pry into your personal financial situation, that could be a sign that the company doesn't value the privacy of its employees, and you may want to consider applying to a different company.
2-4. Bring up a number without making it seem like a request.
If someone with your level of education and experience typically makes between $55,000 and $60,000 in positions like the one you're applying to, you could say something like: “According to my research, I've discovered that people with my level of experience typically make between $60,000 and $65,000.” Bringing up this slightly higher salary range puts the higher number in the hiring manager's mind without making it seem like a direct request from you.
2-5. Cite a higher competing offer to justify your request if you've received one.
When you counter a company's starting salary offer with a higher number of your own, the interviewer or hiring manager may ask you why. If you received a higher offer from another company, let the hiring manager know this so that your request seems reasonable.
If more than 1 company is trying to hire you at a time, don't be afraid to raise your salary expectations. If one company won't offer you a higher salary, you can always choose the competing offer.
If you don't have a competing offer from another company, you can refer to publicly available information to negotiate a better offer.
2-6. Ask about alternative benefits if higher wages aren't offered.
Even if your employer is unable to offer you a higher salary, they may be able to provide you with other benefits. A more flexible work schedule, more vacation days, or stock options may be up for negotiation.
For example, you could say something like: “Since a higher salary isn't an option, would it be possible to occasionally telecommute?”
If your employer does offer you these concessions, be sure to take some time to consider their offer before agreeing to it. Compare the value of these benefits to your salary request and determine whether the trade-off is worth it.
While the monetary value of an extra 5 days of vacation time might be considerably less than an extra $2,000 tacked onto your annual salary, the added flexibility might make up the difference, depending on your situation.
2-7. Thank the employer regardless of whether you accept the offer.
After negotiating a salary, it's important to be polite and thank the employer irrespective of the negotiation's outcome. If you're not able to get the salary you want but decide to work for the employer anyway, being polite will help maintain a positive relationship. If you decide to decline the offer, parting on good terms will leave a favorable impression, and may put you in the running for a future, even better opportunity at the company.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:47:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practicing Your Negotiation\\n1-1. Gather information about what people in similar positions earn.\\nDoing research will allow you to see the typical salary for a position like yours. This information will help you defend your request for a higher salary.\\nIn the United States, the Bureau of Labor Statistics also maintains a detailed salary database that is broken down by region and profession: https://stats.bls.gov/oes/tables.htm.\\nNarrow down the typical salary range by your geographic location, years of experience, education level, and verifiable skills by clicking on your specific profession and scrolling through the available data.\\n1-2. Phrase the question so you sound confident and natural.\\nIt's completely normal to feel nervous about bringing up the issue of salary. You can ease some of this nervousness by preparing and practicing the question ahead of time.\\nAsking directly about salary is one way you can demonstrate to the interviewer that you have the confidence and communication skills to thrive in the position for which you're applying.\\nYou could say, “What is the expected salary for this position?” or \\\"How much can I expect to earn per year in this role?\\\"\\n1-3. Role play with a friend or family member to practice negotiating.\\nPracticing a salary negotiation will help build up your confidence. Your friend or family member will also be able to give you valuable feedback on your negotiating style.\\nIf you don't feel comfortable practicing with someone else, try practicing in front of a mirror.\\nAs you practice, try to anticipate the hiring manager's responses to your request.\\n2. Discussing Salary with a Potential Employer\\n2-1. Ask about salary as soon as possible so you don't waste your time.\\nAsk about the salary range of a job either when you first talk to a recruiter or during your first interview. If you don't bring up the issue of salary early in the process, you may not find out what the job pays until you're offered the position.\\nA good time to bring up the issue of salary is when the interviewer asks you if you have any questions for them.\\nIf you're unwilling to accept an annual salary below a certain amount, you should make that clear early in the process, so you and the recruiter are on the same page.\\n2-2. Raise the issue using simple and direct language.\\nWhile asking a friend or a neighbor their salary might be rude in many cultures, asking about the salary range of a job for which you're applying is not. Most recruiters and hiring managers expect to be asked this question. “What is the salary range for this position?” is one way to phrase this difficult question.\\n2-3. Try to avoid discussing your current or past salary.\\nDuring the interview process, an interviewer may ask you how much you're earning at your current position. You should try to avoid giving them a direct answer because if your current salary is considerably lower than the position's average salary, the hiring manager may lower their initial salary offer. Instead, try to deflect the question by telling the interviewer your salary expectations.\\nFor example, in response to a question like: “What is your current salary?” politely avoid answering by saying something like: “I'm looking for a job that pays somewhere in the range of $40,000-45,000 per year.”\\nIf an interviewer continues to pry into your personal financial situation, that could be a sign that the company doesn't value the privacy of its employees, and you may want to consider applying to a different company.\\n2-4. Bring up a number without making it seem like a request.\\nIf someone with your level of education and experience typically makes between $55,000 and $60,000 in positions like the one you're applying to, you could say something like: “According to my research, I've discovered that people with my level of experience typically make between $60,000 and $65,000.” Bringing up this slightly higher salary range puts the higher number in the hiring manager's mind without making it seem like a direct request from you.\\n2-5. Cite a higher competing offer to justify your request if you've received one.\\nWhen you counter a company's starting salary offer with a higher number of your own, the interviewer or hiring manager may ask you why. If you received a higher offer from another company, let the hiring manager know this so that your request seems reasonable.\\nIf more than 1 company is trying to hire you at a time, don't be afraid to raise your salary expectations. If one company won't offer you a higher salary, you can always choose the competing offer.\\nIf you don't have a competing offer from another company, you can refer to publicly available information to negotiate a better offer.\\n2-6. Ask about alternative benefits if higher wages aren't offered.\\nEven if your employer is unable to offer you a higher salary, they may be able to provide you with other benefits. A more flexible work schedule, more vacation days, or stock options may be up for negotiation.\\nFor example, you could say something like: “Since a higher salary isn't an option, would it be possible to occasionally telecommute?”\\nIf your employer does offer you these concessions, be sure to take some time to consider their offer before agreeing to it. Compare the value of these benefits to your salary request and determine whether the trade-off is worth it.\\nWhile the monetary value of an extra 5 days of vacation time might be considerably less than an extra $2,000 tacked onto your annual salary, the added flexibility might make up the difference, depending on your situation.\\n2-7. Thank the employer regardless of whether you accept the offer.\\nAfter negotiating a salary, it's important to be polite and thank the employer irrespective of the negotiation's outcome. If you're not able to get the salary you want but decide to work for the employer anyway, being polite will help maintain a positive relationship. If you decide to decline the offer, parting on good terms will leave a favorable impression, and may put you in the running for a future, even better opportunity at the company.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It’s totally normal to feel awkward bringing up salary with a potential employer, but it doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable conversation. Asking about salary isn't rude! You have the right to ask questions about the salary of a job you’re interested in and negotiate if you think you deserve more. If you’re not sure how to go about it, don’t worry. This article will walk you through how to politely bring up salary and give you tips on how to ask for more money if you want to.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing Your Negotiation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gather information about what people in similar positions earn.\", \"描述\": \"Doing research will allow you to see the typical salary for a position like yours. This information will help you defend your request for a higher salary.\\nIn the United States, the Bureau of Labor Statistics also maintains a detailed salary database that is broken down by region and profession: https://stats.bls.gov/oes/tables.htm.\\nNarrow down the typical salary range by your geographic location, years of experience, education level, and verifiable skills by clicking on your specific profession and scrolling through the available data.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Phrase the question so you sound confident and natural.\", \"描述\": \"It's completely normal to feel nervous about bringing up the issue of salary. You can ease some of this nervousness by preparing and practicing the question ahead of time.\\nAsking directly about salary is one way you can demonstrate to the interviewer that you have the confidence and communication skills to thrive in the position for which you're applying.\\nYou could say, “What is the expected salary for this position?” or \\\"How much can I expect to earn per year in this role?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Role play with a friend or family member to practice negotiating.\", \"描述\": \"Practicing a salary negotiation will help build up your confidence. Your friend or family member will also be able to give you valuable feedback on your negotiating style.\\nIf you don't feel comfortable practicing with someone else, try practicing in front of a mirror.\\nAs you practice, try to anticipate the hiring manager's responses to your request.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discussing Salary with a Potential Employer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask about salary as soon as possible so you don't waste your time.\", \"描述\": \"Ask about the salary range of a job either when you first talk to a recruiter or during your first interview. If you don't bring up the issue of salary early in the process, you may not find out what the job pays until you're offered the position.\\nA good time to bring up the issue of salary is when the interviewer asks you if you have any questions for them.\\nIf you're unwilling to accept an annual salary below a certain amount, you should make that clear early in the process, so you and the recruiter are on the same page.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Raise the issue using simple and direct language.\", \"描述\": \"While asking a friend or a neighbor their salary might be rude in many cultures, asking about the salary range of a job for which you're applying is not. Most recruiters and hiring managers expect to be asked this question. “What is the salary range for this position?” is one way to phrase this difficult question.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to avoid discussing your current or past salary.\", \"描述\": \"During the interview process, an interviewer may ask you how much you're earning at your current position. You should try to avoid giving them a direct answer because if your current salary is considerably lower than the position's average salary, the hiring manager may lower their initial salary offer. Instead, try to deflect the question by telling the interviewer your salary expectations.\\nFor example, in response to a question like: “What is your current salary?” politely avoid answering by saying something like: “I'm looking for a job that pays somewhere in the range of $40,000-45,000 per year.”\\nIf an interviewer continues to pry into your personal financial situation, that could be a sign that the company doesn't value the privacy of its employees, and you may want to consider applying to a different company.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring up a number without making it seem like a request.\", \"描述\": \"If someone with your level of education and experience typically makes between $55,000 and $60,000 in positions like the one you're applying to, you could say something like: “According to my research, I've discovered that people with my level of experience typically make between $60,000 and $65,000.” Bringing up this slightly higher salary range puts the higher number in the hiring manager's mind without making it seem like a direct request from you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Cite a higher competing offer to justify your request if you've received one.\", \"描述\": \"When you counter a company's starting salary offer with a higher number of your own, the interviewer or hiring manager may ask you why. If you received a higher offer from another company, let the hiring manager know this so that your request seems reasonable.\\nIf more than 1 company is trying to hire you at a time, don't be afraid to raise your salary expectations. If one company won't offer you a higher salary, you can always choose the competing offer.\\nIf you don't have a competing offer from another company, you can refer to publicly available information to negotiate a better offer.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask about alternative benefits if higher wages aren't offered.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your employer is unable to offer you a higher salary, they may be able to provide you with other benefits. A more flexible work schedule, more vacation days, or stock options may be up for negotiation.\\nFor example, you could say something like: “Since a higher salary isn't an option, would it be possible to occasionally telecommute?”\\nIf your employer does offer you these concessions, be sure to take some time to consider their offer before agreeing to it. Compare the value of these benefits to your salary request and determine whether the trade-off is worth it.\\nWhile the monetary value of an extra 5 days of vacation time might be considerably less than an extra $2,000 tacked onto your annual salary, the added flexibility might make up the difference, depending on your situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Thank the employer regardless of whether you accept the offer.\", \"描述\": \"After negotiating a salary, it's important to be polite and thank the employer irrespective of the negotiation's outcome. If you're not able to get the salary you want but decide to work for the employer anyway, being polite will help maintain a positive relationship. If you decide to decline the offer, parting on good terms will leave a favorable impression, and may put you in the running for a future, even better opportunity at the company.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,435 | Negotiating Your Salary Over Email: 14 Effective Tips | 1. Asking About Starting Salary
1-1. Begin your email with a greeting and end with your signature.
Write emails for work the way you would a standard letter. In your salutation, use the name that the person emailing you signed off with in their message, or whatever name they used when they introduced themselves if you've already met in person.
1-2. Be polite but direct in asking about the starting salary.
Show enthusiasm for the position. If the company has asked whether you're interested in the job, thank them for their message, state that the position does sound interesting, and then add "May I ask what the salary range is?"
If the company is reaching out to schedule a second interview, reply to the person who emailed you that you are excited to come back, then ask if they are the right person to speak to about compensation for this job.
1-3. Don't feel obliged to reveal your current salary.
The company recruiter or hiring manager may ask what salary you're making at your current job rather than answer your inquiry about their salary offering directly. This is a lowballing tactic. They're hopeful that you'll disclose a salary lower than the amount they are willing to pay just so they can then offer you this same figure rather than the higher one they might otherwise have given.
It is unethical—and in some cases illegal—for a company to ask about candidates' confidential information like current salary. This is a privacy violation.
If a recruiter asks about your current salary, reply by stating the salary range you are focusing on in your job hunt and ask if this position falls in that range.
If the company insists on knowing your current salary, you’re better off walking away from the job. They will likely not be good employers since they are behaving unethically.
1-4. Determine your personal salary range.
It’s important to know both what your ideal target salary is and what your minimum acceptable salary is before learning the starting salary of the job. If the starting salary does not meet this minimum standard, consider not continuing with the interview process for this particular job.
You might be asked what your target salary is before the starting salary is disclosed, which is another good reason to have your salary range prepared.
Research will help you to determine your salary range. You can use websites like Glassdoor and Payscale to get a sense of what professionals with similar experience and education make in your field and region.
Special skills, such as knowledge of specific computer programs, years of experience, and degree of education can make you a desirable candidate and might help you command a higher salary than average in your field.
1-5. Determine the starting salary before a second interview.
If the starting salary is not advertised, you do not necessarily have to inquire what it is before deciding whether or not you might like the job. It’s perfectly acceptable to participate in an initial interview without knowing the salary. However, don't accept a second interview before determining what the starting salary is.
Many companies don't disclose their salary range in job advertisements because they are hoping to find a candidate who is unaware of their own market worth and the average salary range in the field. That's why it's helpful to do your research before asking about salary.
1-6. Ask about starting salary in a reply email rather than a new one.
When a company recruiter or the hiring manager emails you to ask about your interest in the position or to schedule a second interview, take this opportunity in your reply message to ask what the salary is.
Another advantage to asking about salary in a reply message is that you don't have to think of a subject line of your own for the email.
2. Negotiating a Higher Starting Salary
2-1. Negotiate salary over email to make sure your message is clear.
If you've received a job offer, the time has come to negotiate your salary before you sign. Doing this via email is acceptable if you and your potential employer have previously been interacting through this medium, especially if the job offer itself was extended in an email. Using email gives you time to craft a coherent case for your counteroffer without becoming stressed and flustered.
There are some disadvantages to negotiating salary via email. Some experts believe that negotiation is better done face-to-face, and that an email can read more like a list of demands than a dialogue between employer and employee.
2-2. Avoid mentioning the word "salary" in your email subject line.
A subject line such as “Salary negotiation” can come off as a bit blunt and pushy. One way to work around this is to use the word “offer” instead, since your goal is to negotiate your salary. Include your name and the role you’re applying for in the subject line as well. An example would be:
John Doe - Thoughts on previous offer [Social Media Manager]
Jane Doe - Responding to offer [SEO Consultant]
2-3. Use an appropriate salutation.
Always use a greeting in your email correspondence with your potential employer, the way you would if you were writing a letter. The correct greeting depends on the context of your previous interactions with the recipient.
If your communications have been formal so far, address the email with "Dear" followed by the recipient's prefix (Dr., Mr., Ms., etc) and last name, then a comma and a line break before beginning your message.
If you're unsure of your recipient's preferred prefix, for example Mrs. or Ms., simply write out their entire name with no prefix.
If your interactions have been more informal, consider replacing "Dear" with "Hello" or "Hi" and using the recipient's first name.
2-4. Strike a respectful and polite tone.
When negotiating your salary, take the time to express your genuine gratitude about the job offer and excitement for the position. Start your email by thanking the recipient and stating that you are excited about the opportunity.
Remember to always use good email etiquette. Use complete, grammatically-correct sentences and to proofread your email for typos in order to convey your professionalism. Never use emojis or abbreviations like "LOL" like you would in text messages.
2-5. Be firm but not combative in stating your counteroffer.
State your desired salary, but use softer language to lead up to your suggestion. For example, instead of saying “I would like a starting salary of $60,000 a year,” say something like “I think $60,000 is a good amount to settle on.”
Don't use phrases like "Are you sure you can't do any better?" This leaves the company room to simply reply no. When you give an actual counteroffer, you're making the company respond to that specific amount and making it more difficult for them to say no outright.
Avoid using an argumentative or pushy tone. Making an aggressive statement like "I will not accept anything less than $60,000" is ineffective.
2-6. Back up your counteroffer with research.
Clearly and politely list the reasons that justify the salary you’re asking for. Draw on the research you've done into average salaries in your field and for people with your background and skills to bolster your case.
For example, after listing the qualifications that will make you an excellent employee for the company, you might say, “Based on my research, the average salary for comparable positions in this location is around $55,000. If possible, I would like to discuss moving the proposed salary closer to that figure.”
Base your justification for your desired salary on your skills and the average salary range for this position. Don't build your case on arguments about how you personally need a higher salary to be able to pay your bills.
2-7. Sign off respectfully.
End your email with a polite closing remark like "Sincerely" or "Best," followed by a comma, and then your signature on the following line. Keep your method of signing emails consistent in all your communications with the company so that there is no confusion. If you've been using your full name in your signature, continue to do so.
2-8. Be prepared for counteroffers.
Salary negotiations are a back and forth process and can take some time. Remain patient, polite, and professional throughout. Bear in mind that you might not get the exact salary you ask for, though you should not agree to go below the minimum acceptable amount you've decided for your range.
Even if you begin negotiating your salary over email, you might end up discussing it over the phone at some point in the process.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking About Starting Salary\\n1-1. Begin your email with a greeting and end with your signature.\\nWrite emails for work the way you would a standard letter. In your salutation, use the name that the person emailing you signed off with in their message, or whatever name they used when they introduced themselves if you've already met in person.\\n1-2. Be polite but direct in asking about the starting salary.\\nShow enthusiasm for the position. If the company has asked whether you're interested in the job, thank them for their message, state that the position does sound interesting, and then add \\\"May I ask what the salary range is?\\\"\\nIf the company is reaching out to schedule a second interview, reply to the person who emailed you that you are excited to come back, then ask if they are the right person to speak to about compensation for this job.\\n1-3. Don't feel obliged to reveal your current salary.\\nThe company recruiter or hiring manager may ask what salary you're making at your current job rather than answer your inquiry about their salary offering directly. This is a lowballing tactic. They're hopeful that you'll disclose a salary lower than the amount they are willing to pay just so they can then offer you this same figure rather than the higher one they might otherwise have given.\\nIt is unethical—and in some cases illegal—for a company to ask about candidates' confidential information like current salary. This is a privacy violation.\\nIf a recruiter asks about your current salary, reply by stating the salary range you are focusing on in your job hunt and ask if this position falls in that range.\\nIf the company insists on knowing your current salary, you’re better off walking away from the job. They will likely not be good employers since they are behaving unethically.\\n1-4. Determine your personal salary range.\\nIt’s important to know both what your ideal target salary is and what your minimum acceptable salary is before learning the starting salary of the job. If the starting salary does not meet this minimum standard, consider not continuing with the interview process for this particular job.\\nYou might be asked what your target salary is before the starting salary is disclosed, which is another good reason to have your salary range prepared.\\nResearch will help you to determine your salary range. You can use websites like Glassdoor and Payscale to get a sense of what professionals with similar experience and education make in your field and region.\\nSpecial skills, such as knowledge of specific computer programs, years of experience, and degree of education can make you a desirable candidate and might help you command a higher salary than average in your field.\\n1-5. Determine the starting salary before a second interview.\\nIf the starting salary is not advertised, you do not necessarily have to inquire what it is before deciding whether or not you might like the job. It’s perfectly acceptable to participate in an initial interview without knowing the salary. However, don't accept a second interview before determining what the starting salary is.\\nMany companies don't disclose their salary range in job advertisements because they are hoping to find a candidate who is unaware of their own market worth and the average salary range in the field. That's why it's helpful to do your research before asking about salary.\\n1-6. Ask about starting salary in a reply email rather than a new one.\\nWhen a company recruiter or the hiring manager emails you to ask about your interest in the position or to schedule a second interview, take this opportunity in your reply message to ask what the salary is.\\nAnother advantage to asking about salary in a reply message is that you don't have to think of a subject line of your own for the email.\\n2. Negotiating a Higher Starting Salary\\n2-1. Negotiate salary over email to make sure your message is clear.\\nIf you've received a job offer, the time has come to negotiate your salary before you sign. Doing this via email is acceptable if you and your potential employer have previously been interacting through this medium, especially if the job offer itself was extended in an email. Using email gives you time to craft a coherent case for your counteroffer without becoming stressed and flustered.\\nThere are some disadvantages to negotiating salary via email. Some experts believe that negotiation is better done face-to-face, and that an email can read more like a list of demands than a dialogue between employer and employee.\\n2-2. Avoid mentioning the word \\\"salary\\\" in your email subject line.\\nA subject line such as “Salary negotiation” can come off as a bit blunt and pushy. One way to work around this is to use the word “offer” instead, since your goal is to negotiate your salary. Include your name and the role you’re applying for in the subject line as well. An example would be:\\nJohn Doe - Thoughts on previous offer [Social Media Manager]\\nJane Doe - Responding to offer [SEO Consultant]\\n2-3. Use an appropriate salutation.\\nAlways use a greeting in your email correspondence with your potential employer, the way you would if you were writing a letter. The correct greeting depends on the context of your previous interactions with the recipient.\\nIf your communications have been formal so far, address the email with \\\"Dear\\\" followed by the recipient's prefix (Dr., Mr., Ms., etc) and last name, then a comma and a line break before beginning your message.\\nIf you're unsure of your recipient's preferred prefix, for example Mrs. or Ms., simply write out their entire name with no prefix.\\nIf your interactions have been more informal, consider replacing \\\"Dear\\\" with \\\"Hello\\\" or \\\"Hi\\\" and using the recipient's first name.\\n2-4. Strike a respectful and polite tone.\\nWhen negotiating your salary, take the time to express your genuine gratitude about the job offer and excitement for the position. Start your email by thanking the recipient and stating that you are excited about the opportunity.\\nRemember to always use good email etiquette. Use complete, grammatically-correct sentences and to proofread your email for typos in order to convey your professionalism. Never use emojis or abbreviations like \\\"LOL\\\" like you would in text messages.\\n2-5. Be firm but not combative in stating your counteroffer.\\nState your desired salary, but use softer language to lead up to your suggestion. For example, instead of saying “I would like a starting salary of $60,000 a year,” say something like “I think $60,000 is a good amount to settle on.”\\nDon't use phrases like \\\"Are you sure you can't do any better?\\\" This leaves the company room to simply reply no. When you give an actual counteroffer, you're making the company respond to that specific amount and making it more difficult for them to say no outright.\\nAvoid using an argumentative or pushy tone. Making an aggressive statement like \\\"I will not accept anything less than $60,000\\\" is ineffective.\\n2-6. Back up your counteroffer with research.\\nClearly and politely list the reasons that justify the salary you’re asking for. Draw on the research you've done into average salaries in your field and for people with your background and skills to bolster your case.\\nFor example, after listing the qualifications that will make you an excellent employee for the company, you might say, “Based on my research, the average salary for comparable positions in this location is around $55,000. If possible, I would like to discuss moving the proposed salary closer to that figure.”\\nBase your justification for your desired salary on your skills and the average salary range for this position. Don't build your case on arguments about how you personally need a higher salary to be able to pay your bills.\\n2-7. Sign off respectfully.\\nEnd your email with a polite closing remark like \\\"Sincerely\\\" or \\\"Best,\\\" followed by a comma, and then your signature on the following line. Keep your method of signing emails consistent in all your communications with the company so that there is no confusion. If you've been using your full name in your signature, continue to do so.\\n2-8. Be prepared for counteroffers.\\nSalary negotiations are a back and forth process and can take some time. Remain patient, polite, and professional throughout. Bear in mind that you might not get the exact salary you ask for, though you should not agree to go below the minimum acceptable amount you've decided for your range.\\nEven if you begin negotiating your salary over email, you might end up discussing it over the phone at some point in the process.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’ve received a job interview or a job offer, you’re probably wondering how you’re supposed to bring up the topic of salary. One great thing is that, in many situations, you can now have this conversation over email, which can be a lot less intimidating than talking face-to-face. With a few simple strategies and phrases, you can discuss salary in an email effectively and professionally. After that, you’ll be on your way to starting an amazing new job.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking About Starting Salary\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Begin your email with a greeting and end with your signature.\", \"描述\": \"Write emails for work the way you would a standard letter. In your salutation, use the name that the person emailing you signed off with in their message, or whatever name they used when they introduced themselves if you've already met in person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be polite but direct in asking about the starting salary.\", \"描述\": \"Show enthusiasm for the position. If the company has asked whether you're interested in the job, thank them for their message, state that the position does sound interesting, and then add \\\"May I ask what the salary range is?\\\"\\nIf the company is reaching out to schedule a second interview, reply to the person who emailed you that you are excited to come back, then ask if they are the right person to speak to about compensation for this job.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't feel obliged to reveal your current salary.\", \"描述\": \"The company recruiter or hiring manager may ask what salary you're making at your current job rather than answer your inquiry about their salary offering directly. This is a lowballing tactic. They're hopeful that you'll disclose a salary lower than the amount they are willing to pay just so they can then offer you this same figure rather than the higher one they might otherwise have given.\\nIt is unethical—and in some cases illegal—for a company to ask about candidates' confidential information like current salary. This is a privacy violation.\\nIf a recruiter asks about your current salary, reply by stating the salary range you are focusing on in your job hunt and ask if this position falls in that range.\\nIf the company insists on knowing your current salary, you’re better off walking away from the job. They will likely not be good employers since they are behaving unethically.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Determine your personal salary range.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to know both what your ideal target salary is and what your minimum acceptable salary is before learning the starting salary of the job. If the starting salary does not meet this minimum standard, consider not continuing with the interview process for this particular job.\\nYou might be asked what your target salary is before the starting salary is disclosed, which is another good reason to have your salary range prepared.\\nResearch will help you to determine your salary range. You can use websites like Glassdoor and Payscale to get a sense of what professionals with similar experience and education make in your field and region.\\nSpecial skills, such as knowledge of specific computer programs, years of experience, and degree of education can make you a desirable candidate and might help you command a higher salary than average in your field.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Determine the starting salary before a second interview.\", \"描述\": \"If the starting salary is not advertised, you do not necessarily have to inquire what it is before deciding whether or not you might like the job. It’s perfectly acceptable to participate in an initial interview without knowing the salary. However, don't accept a second interview before determining what the starting salary is.\\nMany companies don't disclose their salary range in job advertisements because they are hoping to find a candidate who is unaware of their own market worth and the average salary range in the field. That's why it's helpful to do your research before asking about salary.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask about starting salary in a reply email rather than a new one.\", \"描述\": \"When a company recruiter or the hiring manager emails you to ask about your interest in the position or to schedule a second interview, take this opportunity in your reply message to ask what the salary is.\\nAnother advantage to asking about salary in a reply message is that you don't have to think of a subject line of your own for the email.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Negotiating a Higher Starting Salary\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Negotiate salary over email to make sure your message is clear.\", \"描述\": \"If you've received a job offer, the time has come to negotiate your salary before you sign. Doing this via email is acceptable if you and your potential employer have previously been interacting through this medium, especially if the job offer itself was extended in an email. Using email gives you time to craft a coherent case for your counteroffer without becoming stressed and flustered.\\nThere are some disadvantages to negotiating salary via email. Some experts believe that negotiation is better done face-to-face, and that an email can read more like a list of demands than a dialogue between employer and employee.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid mentioning the word \\\"salary\\\" in your email subject line.\", \"描述\": \"A subject line such as “Salary negotiation” can come off as a bit blunt and pushy. One way to work around this is to use the word “offer” instead, since your goal is to negotiate your salary. Include your name and the role you’re applying for in the subject line as well. An example would be:\\nJohn Doe - Thoughts on previous offer [Social Media Manager]\\nJane Doe - Responding to offer [SEO Consultant]\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use an appropriate salutation.\", \"描述\": \"Always use a greeting in your email correspondence with your potential employer, the way you would if you were writing a letter. The correct greeting depends on the context of your previous interactions with the recipient.\\nIf your communications have been formal so far, address the email with \\\"Dear\\\" followed by the recipient's prefix (Dr., Mr., Ms., etc) and last name, then a comma and a line break before beginning your message.\\nIf you're unsure of your recipient's preferred prefix, for example Mrs. or Ms., simply write out their entire name with no prefix.\\nIf your interactions have been more informal, consider replacing \\\"Dear\\\" with \\\"Hello\\\" or \\\"Hi\\\" and using the recipient's first name.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Strike a respectful and polite tone.\", \"描述\": \"When negotiating your salary, take the time to express your genuine gratitude about the job offer and excitement for the position. Start your email by thanking the recipient and stating that you are excited about the opportunity.\\nRemember to always use good email etiquette. Use complete, grammatically-correct sentences and to proofread your email for typos in order to convey your professionalism. Never use emojis or abbreviations like \\\"LOL\\\" like you would in text messages.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be firm but not combative in stating your counteroffer.\", \"描述\": \"State your desired salary, but use softer language to lead up to your suggestion. For example, instead of saying “I would like a starting salary of $60,000 a year,” say something like “I think $60,000 is a good amount to settle on.”\\nDon't use phrases like \\\"Are you sure you can't do any better?\\\" This leaves the company room to simply reply no. When you give an actual counteroffer, you're making the company respond to that specific amount and making it more difficult for them to say no outright.\\nAvoid using an argumentative or pushy tone. Making an aggressive statement like \\\"I will not accept anything less than $60,000\\\" is ineffective.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Back up your counteroffer with research.\", \"描述\": \"Clearly and politely list the reasons that justify the salary you’re asking for. Draw on the research you've done into average salaries in your field and for people with your background and skills to bolster your case.\\nFor example, after listing the qualifications that will make you an excellent employee for the company, you might say, “Based on my research, the average salary for comparable positions in this location is around $55,000. If possible, I would like to discuss moving the proposed salary closer to that figure.”\\nBase your justification for your desired salary on your skills and the average salary range for this position. Don't build your case on arguments about how you personally need a higher salary to be able to pay your bills.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Sign off respectfully.\", \"描述\": \"End your email with a polite closing remark like \\\"Sincerely\\\" or \\\"Best,\\\" followed by a comma, and then your signature on the following line. Keep your method of signing emails consistent in all your communications with the company so that there is no confusion. If you've been using your full name in your signature, continue to do so.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for counteroffers.\", \"描述\": \"Salary negotiations are a back and forth process and can take some time. Remain patient, polite, and professional throughout. Bear in mind that you might not get the exact salary you ask for, though you should not agree to go below the minimum acceptable amount you've decided for your range.\\nEven if you begin negotiating your salary over email, you might end up discussing it over the phone at some point in the process.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,436 | How to Ask About Someone's Disability | 1. Steps
1-1. Consider whether the information is relevant.
If it's not really relevant to you, then asking is probably rude. People with visible disabilities generally get asked the same questions a lot of times, and they may get tired of answering again and again. Mind your own business when it comes to disabled strangers or acquaintances.
you aren't having a conversation with them, or if it's not relevant to the conversation.
they are already talking about disability, or if you're becoming friends and would like to ask gently.
1-2. Ask about their needs if it looks like they might need help.
Helping people with disabilities can be a very kind thing to do, as long as you're actually helping them (instead of hindering them). To avoid misunderstandings, ask before helping.
For example, if someone is pushing a walker and headed towards a door, you could ask "Would you like me to get that for you?"
Listen to them if they say they don't want help. They know what they are doing. For example, maybe a wheelchair user doesn't want you to take a chair away, because they want to get out of their wheelchair to sit in the chair.
1-3. Ask if you can talk about their disability, if you already have a relationship with them.
If you have a growing friendship, romantic relationship, or other more-than-acquaintances relationship, it may be okay to ask. Say something like "May I ask about your visual disability?"
Be sure to ask they want to talk about it, instead of jumping right in. Some people are okay with talking about their disabilities, and others aren't. (For example, maybe they were in a traumatic accident they prefer not to rehash.) This way, they can say "I don't like talking about it" and both of you can move on.
1-4. Use a neutral tone when talking about disability.
Nobody wants to feel like they are broken or defective. Using matter-of-fact language is the best way to handle it. Ask about the specific thing (like "May I ask about your ADHD?") or use the word "disability."
Questions like "What's wrong with you?" can come off as insensitive.
Questions like "May I ask what your disability is?" is much more polite and neutral in tone.
Some people prefer to be called a "person with a disability." Others prefer to be called a "disabled person." Both of these are valid. It's best to use whatever language that person uses to describe themselves.
1-5. Take their words seriously.
Sometimes, disabled people get told that they are making up or exaggerating their disability, and people can respond in invalidating ways. Believe them, and show respect for their experiences. This goes a long way.
Look at them and listen. Say things like "That sounds hard" or "I see." Ask for clarification if you need it.
Avoid minimizing their disability by saying things like "everyone is like that sometimes." This person experiences this issue severely enough that it stops them from living their life in some way. If they say it's hard for them, assume it's hard.
"You don't look _____" can be very annoying for a person with a disability to hear.
Remember that things you might think you know may be wrong or irrelevant. Some stereotypes (like autistic people having no empathy) are wrong, and others (like wheelchair users being totally unable to walk) are only true of some people. If your information doesn't match their reality, then question the information, not their experiences.
1-6. Ask about their specific needs.
Disability can be complex, and the severity of some disabilities can vary from day to day. (For example, someone with chronic pain might be able to walk on good days but not on bad days.) There also may be complications you don't know about. You can ask if there are any needs it might be good for you to know about, so that you can help.
You could say to a friend, "I don't know much about autism, but I've heard about stuff like sensory issues and meltdowns. I want us to be able to hang out in an environment that's comfortable to you, and I'd like to be able to help if you ever have a hard time. What would it be good for me to know?"
You could say to a student, "I've been told you have dyslexia. I don't know much about the disability. Is there anything that it would be useful for me to know, so that I can accommodate you better in my classroom?"
Some disabled people might have a hard time telling you what they need. Let them take as long as they need to think, and tell them they can send you an article, or tell you more as they think of it.
1-7. Give a blanket offer of help.
For many disabled people, there are good days and bad days, and it can be nice to know that someone has their back in case of a bad day.
"Please feel free to let me know if there's anything you might need help with."
"Don't be afraid to tell me if something is wrong. I'm always happy to help."
"If you're ever having a bad sensory day, tell me and we can go somewhere quieter."
Tips
Don't be afraid to do a little research about a disability on your own time. There are many people with disabilities who talk about their experiences online.
Warnings
Don't push someone who doesn't seem interested in talking about their disability. If they aren't interacting with you, let them be. If they want to talk about something else, let the subject change.
Stay away from negative sources like Autism Speaks, which may demonize disability and give misleading information.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Consider whether the information is relevant.\\nIf it's not really relevant to you, then asking is probably rude. People with visible disabilities generally get asked the same questions a lot of times, and they may get tired of answering again and again. Mind your own business when it comes to disabled strangers or acquaintances. \\n\\n you aren't having a conversation with them, or if it's not relevant to the conversation.\\n they are already talking about disability, or if you're becoming friends and would like to ask gently.\\n1-2. Ask about their needs if it looks like they might need help.\\nHelping people with disabilities can be a very kind thing to do, as long as you're actually helping them (instead of hindering them). To avoid misunderstandings, ask before helping. \\nFor example, if someone is pushing a walker and headed towards a door, you could ask \\\"Would you like me to get that for you?\\\"\\nListen to them if they say they don't want help. They know what they are doing. For example, maybe a wheelchair user doesn't want you to take a chair away, because they want to get out of their wheelchair to sit in the chair.\\n1-3. Ask if you can talk about their disability, if you already have a relationship with them.\\nIf you have a growing friendship, romantic relationship, or other more-than-acquaintances relationship, it may be okay to ask. Say something like \\\"May I ask about your visual disability?\\\" \\nBe sure to ask they want to talk about it, instead of jumping right in. Some people are okay with talking about their disabilities, and others aren't. (For example, maybe they were in a traumatic accident they prefer not to rehash.) This way, they can say \\\"I don't like talking about it\\\" and both of you can move on.\\n1-4. Use a neutral tone when talking about disability.\\nNobody wants to feel like they are broken or defective. Using matter-of-fact language is the best way to handle it. Ask about the specific thing (like \\\"May I ask about your ADHD?\\\") or use the word \\\"disability.\\\" \\nQuestions like \\\"What's wrong with you?\\\" can come off as insensitive.\\nQuestions like \\\"May I ask what your disability is?\\\" is much more polite and neutral in tone.\\nSome people prefer to be called a \\\"person with a disability.\\\" Others prefer to be called a \\\"disabled person.\\\" Both of these are valid. It's best to use whatever language that person uses to describe themselves.\\n1-5. Take their words seriously.\\nSometimes, disabled people get told that they are making up or exaggerating their disability, and people can respond in invalidating ways. Believe them, and show respect for their experiences. This goes a long way. \\nLook at them and listen. Say things like \\\"That sounds hard\\\" or \\\"I see.\\\" Ask for clarification if you need it.\\nAvoid minimizing their disability by saying things like \\\"everyone is like that sometimes.\\\" This person experiences this issue severely enough that it stops them from living their life in some way. If they say it's hard for them, assume it's hard.\\n\\\"You don't look _____\\\" can be very annoying for a person with a disability to hear.\\nRemember that things you might think you know may be wrong or irrelevant. Some stereotypes (like autistic people having no empathy) are wrong, and others (like wheelchair users being totally unable to walk) are only true of some people. If your information doesn't match their reality, then question the information, not their experiences.\\n1-6. Ask about their specific needs.\\nDisability can be complex, and the severity of some disabilities can vary from day to day. (For example, someone with chronic pain might be able to walk on good days but not on bad days.) There also may be complications you don't know about. You can ask if there are any needs it might be good for you to know about, so that you can help. \\nYou could say to a friend, \\\"I don't know much about autism, but I've heard about stuff like sensory issues and meltdowns. I want us to be able to hang out in an environment that's comfortable to you, and I'd like to be able to help if you ever have a hard time. What would it be good for me to know?\\\"\\nYou could say to a student, \\\"I've been told you have dyslexia. I don't know much about the disability. Is there anything that it would be useful for me to know, so that I can accommodate you better in my classroom?\\\"\\nSome disabled people might have a hard time telling you what they need. Let them take as long as they need to think, and tell them they can send you an article, or tell you more as they think of it.\\n1-7. Give a blanket offer of help.\\nFor many disabled people, there are good days and bad days, and it can be nice to know that someone has their back in case of a bad day. \\n\\\"Please feel free to let me know if there's anything you might need help with.\\\"\\n\\\"Don't be afraid to tell me if something is wrong. I'm always happy to help.\\\"\\n\\\"If you're ever having a bad sensory day, tell me and we can go somewhere quieter.\\\"\\nTips\\nDon't be afraid to do a little research about a disability on your own time. There are many people with disabilities who talk about their experiences online.\\nWarnings\\nDon't push someone who doesn't seem interested in talking about their disability. If they aren't interacting with you, let them be. If they want to talk about something else, let the subject change.\\nStay away from negative sources like Autism Speaks, which may demonize disability and give misleading information.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Disability can be a delicate subject, with some disabled people being very sensitive about it and others being very open. If you see someone who acts or looks different, you may have questions. Here is information on whether and how to ask politely.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider whether the information is relevant.\", \"描述\": \"If it's not really relevant to you, then asking is probably rude. People with visible disabilities generally get asked the same questions a lot of times, and they may get tired of answering again and again. Mind your own business when it comes to disabled strangers or acquaintances. \\n\\n you aren't having a conversation with them, or if it's not relevant to the conversation.\\n they are already talking about disability, or if you're becoming friends and would like to ask gently.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask about their needs if it looks like they might need help.\", \"描述\": \"Helping people with disabilities can be a very kind thing to do, as long as you're actually helping them (instead of hindering them). To avoid misunderstandings, ask before helping. \\nFor example, if someone is pushing a walker and headed towards a door, you could ask \\\"Would you like me to get that for you?\\\"\\nListen to them if they say they don't want help. They know what they are doing. For example, maybe a wheelchair user doesn't want you to take a chair away, because they want to get out of their wheelchair to sit in the chair.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask if you can talk about their disability, if you already have a relationship with them.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a growing friendship, romantic relationship, or other more-than-acquaintances relationship, it may be okay to ask. Say something like \\\"May I ask about your visual disability?\\\" \\nBe sure to ask they want to talk about it, instead of jumping right in. Some people are okay with talking about their disabilities, and others aren't. (For example, maybe they were in a traumatic accident they prefer not to rehash.) This way, they can say \\\"I don't like talking about it\\\" and both of you can move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use a neutral tone when talking about disability.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody wants to feel like they are broken or defective. Using matter-of-fact language is the best way to handle it. Ask about the specific thing (like \\\"May I ask about your ADHD?\\\") or use the word \\\"disability.\\\" \\nQuestions like \\\"What's wrong with you?\\\" can come off as insensitive.\\nQuestions like \\\"May I ask what your disability is?\\\" is much more polite and neutral in tone.\\nSome people prefer to be called a \\\"person with a disability.\\\" Others prefer to be called a \\\"disabled person.\\\" Both of these are valid. It's best to use whatever language that person uses to describe themselves.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take their words seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, disabled people get told that they are making up or exaggerating their disability, and people can respond in invalidating ways. Believe them, and show respect for their experiences. This goes a long way. \\nLook at them and listen. Say things like \\\"That sounds hard\\\" or \\\"I see.\\\" Ask for clarification if you need it.\\nAvoid minimizing their disability by saying things like \\\"everyone is like that sometimes.\\\" This person experiences this issue severely enough that it stops them from living their life in some way. If they say it's hard for them, assume it's hard.\\n\\\"You don't look _____\\\" can be very annoying for a person with a disability to hear.\\nRemember that things you might think you know may be wrong or irrelevant. Some stereotypes (like autistic people having no empathy) are wrong, and others (like wheelchair users being totally unable to walk) are only true of some people. If your information doesn't match their reality, then question the information, not their experiences.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask about their specific needs.\", \"描述\": \"Disability can be complex, and the severity of some disabilities can vary from day to day. (For example, someone with chronic pain might be able to walk on good days but not on bad days.) There also may be complications you don't know about. You can ask if there are any needs it might be good for you to know about, so that you can help. \\nYou could say to a friend, \\\"I don't know much about autism, but I've heard about stuff like sensory issues and meltdowns. I want us to be able to hang out in an environment that's comfortable to you, and I'd like to be able to help if you ever have a hard time. What would it be good for me to know?\\\"\\nYou could say to a student, \\\"I've been told you have dyslexia. I don't know much about the disability. Is there anything that it would be useful for me to know, so that I can accommodate you better in my classroom?\\\"\\nSome disabled people might have a hard time telling you what they need. Let them take as long as they need to think, and tell them they can send you an article, or tell you more as they think of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give a blanket offer of help.\", \"描述\": \"For many disabled people, there are good days and bad days, and it can be nice to know that someone has their back in case of a bad day. \\n\\\"Please feel free to let me know if there's anything you might need help with.\\\"\\n\\\"Don't be afraid to tell me if something is wrong. I'm always happy to help.\\\"\\n\\\"If you're ever having a bad sensory day, tell me and we can go somewhere quieter.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be afraid to do a little research about a disability on your own time. There are many people with disabilities who talk about their experiences online.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't push someone who doesn't seem interested in talking about their disability. If they aren't interacting with you, let them be. If they want to talk about something else, let the subject change.\\n\", \"Stay away from negative sources like Autism Speaks, which may demonize disability and give misleading information.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,437 | How to Ask About a Job Vacancy over the Phone | 1. Doing Your Research
1-1. Research the best contact at the company where you want to apply.
Use LinkedIn, Facebook, Google, and the company website to find the hiring manager’s contact information. Also try calling the company switchboard. Frequently they will give direct numbers or extensions if you have a specific person you would like to reach.
1-2. Learn more about the company.
Do your homework and learn whatever you can about the company. Find their mission statement and understand what their overriding goals are. Also look at the descriptions of current employees and of positions so you can learn more about the kinds of people they hire and what their employees’ responsibilities are.
Use LinkedIn, the company website, and other social media for this research.
Identify things about the company that appeal to you before you call in case you’re asked why you’re interested in working for them.
1-3. Organize your information about each company you’re researching.
If you plan to reach out to multiple companies, organize your information about each company in a spreadsheet. Make the contact information most prominent, so you can easily access it. Once you start calling, include the dates of each call, the outcomes, and the person you spoke with in this spreadsheet so you can refer back to it for any follow-up.
2. Scripting the Call
2-1. Write down what you want to say.
Start by making bullet points to cover the main things you want to say. Include the phrases you plan to use to introduce yourself, some information about your experience, and the type of position you’re seeking. If you need to write a script, use words and expressions that reflect the way you really speak so you’ll sound natural.
Introduce yourself. Use your full name. For example: “Good morning, Ms. Smith. My name is John Doe.”
Discuss your accomplishments if they’re pertinent to your inquiry. For example: “I am an experienced web designer and IT specialist with ten years experience, looking for new challenges.”
Say why you’re calling. For example: “I would appreciate a minute of your time to ask about vacancies in your IT department.”
2-2. List your questions.
In preparation for the call, list the questions you have about the company. For example, you might ask about the types of positions that are available in your field and the best ways to follow up with an application. Inquire about other information that the company might need from you.
Also think of questions you think you might be asked and prepare your answers for those questions.
For example, you may be asked why you’re applying with them, where you heard about the company, when you’d be available to interview or start work, and what salary range you’re looking for.
2-3. Practice for the call.
Sit down in a quiet place with your script and list of questions and practice making the call. Try different ways to phrase things so that what you’re saying sounds natural. Time yourself to see how long it takes and try to keep your main points under a minute.
Practice speaking clearly.
Also practice smiling when you speak. This will help you sound more confident.
Record yourself and listen to how you sound. Fix anything you don’t like about how you sound, like saying “um” a lot or speaking too quickly or in a monotone.
3. Preparing for the Call
3-1. Figure out the best time to call.
Use the company’s website and your own knowledge about where you’re applying to work out the best time to call. Place your first call at the start of the workday. Try not to call during when you know will be busy times in the middle of the day. Also avoid calling during lunch.
3-2. Find a quiet space.
Make your call from a quiet space where you can focus on a professional conversation. Make sure you won’t be distracted by noise on the street or in your building. If there are other people around, tell them that you need peace and quiet for a phone call and can’t be disturbed.
3-3. Prepare your space.
Lay out a pen or pencil and paper for taking notes and be sure your spreadsheet with contact and company information is in front of you so you can quickly reference it. Use a landline for a clearer connection and to reduce the risk of calls or texts interrupting your call. Have a glass of water with you in case your mouth gets dry.
Don’t put the hiring manager on hold if another call does come through.
Aside from your water, don’t eat, drink, smoke, or chew gum during the call.
3-4. Keep your resume next to you during the call.
Refer to your resume when answering questions about your experience. This way the information you provide during the call will be consistent with what the hiring manager sees on your resume. Make sure to update your resume before the call so the information you share is most current.
Having your resume handy will also help you answer questions more fluently if you’re nervous during the call.
4. Making the Call
4-1. Take notes.
During the call, record every detail you can. Include who you spoke with, their title, the time and date of the call, what they said, and what you promised you’d do for follow up. Also jot down any questions that surprised you, so you can research them and be better prepared for your next phone call.
Put this information in your spreadsheet.
At the end of the call, review what you said you would do and confirm the person’s contact information from your notes.
For example, before saying thank you, say: “As promised, I’ll follow up with my resume and list of references in the next two business days.”
4-2. Be prepared to set up specific times for interviews.
Don’t reply to suggested times for interviews or follow-up meetings with an unprofessional and tentative “whenever.” Directly answer about when you’re available, for example: “I am free until noon on Tuesday and Wednesday and in the afternoon on Friday.” Have your calendar open during the call to make this easier.
Prepare for the call by figuring out your availability for the two weeks following the call.
Don’t change appointments once you’ve made them unless you have a legitimate emergency.
4-3. Use good phone etiquette.
Be polite to everyone you speak with, including administrative staff and assistants. The boss could hear about it if you’re rude. Address the person you’re calling as “Mr.” or “Ms.” unless they tell you otherwise. Listen attentively when they speak and don’t interrupt. At the end of the call thank them for their time and attention, even if you aren’t successful.
Preface your phone call by asking if the person has a few minutes to speak with you. If not, offer to call back later and ask the best time to do so.
4-4. Send a thank you.
Write the person you spoke with a formal email to thank them for speaking with you. Send this the same day you make your phone call. Don’t delay sending the thank you by more than one day after the call. Unless you’ve been told not to pursue a job with the company, attach your resume and a tailored cover letter with information you learned from the phone call.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Doing Your Research\\n1-1. Research the best contact at the company where you want to apply.\\nUse LinkedIn, Facebook, Google, and the company website to find the hiring manager’s contact information. Also try calling the company switchboard. Frequently they will give direct numbers or extensions if you have a specific person you would like to reach.\\n1-2. Learn more about the company.\\nDo your homework and learn whatever you can about the company. Find their mission statement and understand what their overriding goals are. Also look at the descriptions of current employees and of positions so you can learn more about the kinds of people they hire and what their employees’ responsibilities are.\\nUse LinkedIn, the company website, and other social media for this research.\\nIdentify things about the company that appeal to you before you call in case you’re asked why you’re interested in working for them.\\n1-3. Organize your information about each company you’re researching.\\nIf you plan to reach out to multiple companies, organize your information about each company in a spreadsheet. Make the contact information most prominent, so you can easily access it. Once you start calling, include the dates of each call, the outcomes, and the person you spoke with in this spreadsheet so you can refer back to it for any follow-up.\\n2. Scripting the Call\\n2-1. Write down what you want to say.\\nStart by making bullet points to cover the main things you want to say. Include the phrases you plan to use to introduce yourself, some information about your experience, and the type of position you’re seeking. If you need to write a script, use words and expressions that reflect the way you really speak so you’ll sound natural.\\nIntroduce yourself. Use your full name. For example: “Good morning, Ms. Smith. My name is John Doe.”\\nDiscuss your accomplishments if they’re pertinent to your inquiry. For example: “I am an experienced web designer and IT specialist with ten years experience, looking for new challenges.”\\nSay why you’re calling. For example: “I would appreciate a minute of your time to ask about vacancies in your IT department.”\\n2-2. List your questions.\\nIn preparation for the call, list the questions you have about the company. For example, you might ask about the types of positions that are available in your field and the best ways to follow up with an application. Inquire about other information that the company might need from you.\\nAlso think of questions you think you might be asked and prepare your answers for those questions.\\nFor example, you may be asked why you’re applying with them, where you heard about the company, when you’d be available to interview or start work, and what salary range you’re looking for.\\n2-3. Practice for the call.\\nSit down in a quiet place with your script and list of questions and practice making the call. Try different ways to phrase things so that what you’re saying sounds natural. Time yourself to see how long it takes and try to keep your main points under a minute.\\nPractice speaking clearly.\\nAlso practice smiling when you speak. This will help you sound more confident.\\nRecord yourself and listen to how you sound. Fix anything you don’t like about how you sound, like saying “um” a lot or speaking too quickly or in a monotone.\\n3. Preparing for the Call\\n3-1. Figure out the best time to call.\\nUse the company’s website and your own knowledge about where you’re applying to work out the best time to call. Place your first call at the start of the workday. Try not to call during when you know will be busy times in the middle of the day. Also avoid calling during lunch.\\n3-2. Find a quiet space.\\nMake your call from a quiet space where you can focus on a professional conversation. Make sure you won’t be distracted by noise on the street or in your building. If there are other people around, tell them that you need peace and quiet for a phone call and can’t be disturbed.\\n3-3. Prepare your space.\\nLay out a pen or pencil and paper for taking notes and be sure your spreadsheet with contact and company information is in front of you so you can quickly reference it. Use a landline for a clearer connection and to reduce the risk of calls or texts interrupting your call. Have a glass of water with you in case your mouth gets dry.\\nDon’t put the hiring manager on hold if another call does come through.\\nAside from your water, don’t eat, drink, smoke, or chew gum during the call.\\n3-4. Keep your resume next to you during the call.\\nRefer to your resume when answering questions about your experience. This way the information you provide during the call will be consistent with what the hiring manager sees on your resume. Make sure to update your resume before the call so the information you share is most current.\\nHaving your resume handy will also help you answer questions more fluently if you’re nervous during the call.\\n4. Making the Call\\n4-1. Take notes.\\nDuring the call, record every detail you can. Include who you spoke with, their title, the time and date of the call, what they said, and what you promised you’d do for follow up. Also jot down any questions that surprised you, so you can research them and be better prepared for your next phone call.\\nPut this information in your spreadsheet.\\nAt the end of the call, review what you said you would do and confirm the person’s contact information from your notes.\\nFor example, before saying thank you, say: “As promised, I’ll follow up with my resume and list of references in the next two business days.”\\n4-2. Be prepared to set up specific times for interviews.\\nDon’t reply to suggested times for interviews or follow-up meetings with an unprofessional and tentative “whenever.” Directly answer about when you’re available, for example: “I am free until noon on Tuesday and Wednesday and in the afternoon on Friday.” Have your calendar open during the call to make this easier.\\nPrepare for the call by figuring out your availability for the two weeks following the call.\\nDon’t change appointments once you’ve made them unless you have a legitimate emergency.\\n4-3. Use good phone etiquette.\\nBe polite to everyone you speak with, including administrative staff and assistants. The boss could hear about it if you’re rude. Address the person you’re calling as “Mr.” or “Ms.” unless they tell you otherwise. Listen attentively when they speak and don’t interrupt. At the end of the call thank them for their time and attention, even if you aren’t successful.\\nPreface your phone call by asking if the person has a few minutes to speak with you. If not, offer to call back later and ask the best time to do so.\\n4-4. Send a thank you.\\nWrite the person you spoke with a formal email to thank them for speaking with you. Send this the same day you make your phone call. Don’t delay sending the thank you by more than one day after the call. Unless you’ve been told not to pursue a job with the company, attach your resume and a tailored cover letter with information you learned from the phone call.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Picking up the phone to inquire about a job vacancy can be a good way to make a strong first impression with a potential employer. This also gives you a chance to learn more about the company and even establish a rapport with the person on the other end of the phone. Prepare yourself for the call by doing your research, practicing what you plan to say, and setting yourself up for a professional and pleasant phone call.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Doing Your Research\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Research the best contact at the company where you want to apply.\", \"描述\": \"Use LinkedIn, Facebook, Google, and the company website to find the hiring manager’s contact information. Also try calling the company switchboard. Frequently they will give direct numbers or extensions if you have a specific person you would like to reach.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn more about the company.\", \"描述\": \"Do your homework and learn whatever you can about the company. Find their mission statement and understand what their overriding goals are. Also look at the descriptions of current employees and of positions so you can learn more about the kinds of people they hire and what their employees’ responsibilities are.\\nUse LinkedIn, the company website, and other social media for this research.\\nIdentify things about the company that appeal to you before you call in case you’re asked why you’re interested in working for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Organize your information about each company you’re researching.\", \"描述\": \"If you plan to reach out to multiple companies, organize your information about each company in a spreadsheet. Make the contact information most prominent, so you can easily access it. Once you start calling, include the dates of each call, the outcomes, and the person you spoke with in this spreadsheet so you can refer back to it for any follow-up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Scripting the Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write down what you want to say.\", \"描述\": \"Start by making bullet points to cover the main things you want to say. Include the phrases you plan to use to introduce yourself, some information about your experience, and the type of position you’re seeking. If you need to write a script, use words and expressions that reflect the way you really speak so you’ll sound natural.\\nIntroduce yourself. Use your full name. For example: “Good morning, Ms. Smith. My name is John Doe.”\\nDiscuss your accomplishments if they’re pertinent to your inquiry. For example: “I am an experienced web designer and IT specialist with ten years experience, looking for new challenges.”\\nSay why you’re calling. For example: “I would appreciate a minute of your time to ask about vacancies in your IT department.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"List your questions.\", \"描述\": \"In preparation for the call, list the questions you have about the company. For example, you might ask about the types of positions that are available in your field and the best ways to follow up with an application. Inquire about other information that the company might need from you.\\nAlso think of questions you think you might be asked and prepare your answers for those questions.\\nFor example, you may be asked why you’re applying with them, where you heard about the company, when you’d be available to interview or start work, and what salary range you’re looking for.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice for the call.\", \"描述\": \"Sit down in a quiet place with your script and list of questions and practice making the call. Try different ways to phrase things so that what you’re saying sounds natural. Time yourself to see how long it takes and try to keep your main points under a minute.\\nPractice speaking clearly.\\nAlso practice smiling when you speak. This will help you sound more confident.\\nRecord yourself and listen to how you sound. Fix anything you don’t like about how you sound, like saying “um” a lot or speaking too quickly or in a monotone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Preparing for the Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out the best time to call.\", \"描述\": \"Use the company’s website and your own knowledge about where you’re applying to work out the best time to call. Place your first call at the start of the workday. Try not to call during when you know will be busy times in the middle of the day. Also avoid calling during lunch.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a quiet space.\", \"描述\": \"Make your call from a quiet space where you can focus on a professional conversation. Make sure you won’t be distracted by noise on the street or in your building. If there are other people around, tell them that you need peace and quiet for a phone call and can’t be disturbed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prepare your space.\", \"描述\": \"Lay out a pen or pencil and paper for taking notes and be sure your spreadsheet with contact and company information is in front of you so you can quickly reference it. Use a landline for a clearer connection and to reduce the risk of calls or texts interrupting your call. Have a glass of water with you in case your mouth gets dry.\\nDon’t put the hiring manager on hold if another call does come through.\\nAside from your water, don’t eat, drink, smoke, or chew gum during the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your resume next to you during the call.\", \"描述\": \"Refer to your resume when answering questions about your experience. This way the information you provide during the call will be consistent with what the hiring manager sees on your resume. Make sure to update your resume before the call so the information you share is most current.\\nHaving your resume handy will also help you answer questions more fluently if you’re nervous during the call.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Making the Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take notes.\", \"描述\": \"During the call, record every detail you can. Include who you spoke with, their title, the time and date of the call, what they said, and what you promised you’d do for follow up. Also jot down any questions that surprised you, so you can research them and be better prepared for your next phone call.\\nPut this information in your spreadsheet.\\nAt the end of the call, review what you said you would do and confirm the person’s contact information from your notes.\\nFor example, before saying thank you, say: “As promised, I’ll follow up with my resume and list of references in the next two business days.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to set up specific times for interviews.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t reply to suggested times for interviews or follow-up meetings with an unprofessional and tentative “whenever.” Directly answer about when you’re available, for example: “I am free until noon on Tuesday and Wednesday and in the afternoon on Friday.” Have your calendar open during the call to make this easier.\\nPrepare for the call by figuring out your availability for the two weeks following the call.\\nDon’t change appointments once you’ve made them unless you have a legitimate emergency.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use good phone etiquette.\", \"描述\": \"Be polite to everyone you speak with, including administrative staff and assistants. The boss could hear about it if you’re rude. Address the person you’re calling as “Mr.” or “Ms.” unless they tell you otherwise. Listen attentively when they speak and don’t interrupt. At the end of the call thank them for their time and attention, even if you aren’t successful.\\nPreface your phone call by asking if the person has a few minutes to speak with you. If not, offer to call back later and ask the best time to do so.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Send a thank you.\", \"描述\": \"Write the person you spoke with a formal email to thank them for speaking with you. Send this the same day you make your phone call. Don’t delay sending the thank you by more than one day after the call. Unless you’ve been told not to pursue a job with the company, attach your resume and a tailored cover letter with information you learned from the phone call.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,438 | How to Ask Alexa to Play a Radio Station | 1. Playing a Radio Station
1-1. Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.
Look for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.
If you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.
1-2. Tap on the 3 lines in the top left.
This opens up a sidebar menu.
1-3. Tap Skills & Games.
This is near the middle.
1-4. Tap the search icon and search for a radio station.
The icon is in the top right corner.
If you do not know which radio station to search for, browse for one by tapping in the tab.
You can find many local and international radio stations here.
1-5. Tap on a station to add it.
View an example phrase to use in order to trigger that station, such as "Alexa, what's in the news?".
1-6. Tap Enable to use.
This is a blue button near the top. The skill will be enabled when this button disappears.
Some services require you to sign in to your account associated with that service. Log in using your credentials to link and enable the service on Alexa.
1-7. Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.
This launches Alexa.
1-8. Ask Alexa to play your station.
Using the name of your station, say "Alexa, play ____?".
The station will start playing on your connected device. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo. If you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play the station. Instead, just say it near the Echo.
You can also say "Alexa, what's in the news?" to get a news station. If you ask for the radio in general, or ask for music, you will get the station that is set as your default music player. Follow method 3 to set up a music player.
2. Playing an Amazon Music Station
2-1. Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.
Look for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.
If you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play music. Instead, just say it near the Echo.
If you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.
2-2. Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.
This launches Alexa.
2-3. Ask Alexa to play your station.
This can be based on a genre or artist. You can say something like "Alexa, play jazz music" or "Alexa, play a top 40s station"
The music will start playing on your connected device using Amazon Music, which is the default music player. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo.
3. Playing Another Music Service
3-1. Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.
Look for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.
If you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.
3-2. Tap Play.
This is an option at the bottom, with the triangular play icon.
3-3. Tap Manage Your Services.
You will need to scroll to the bottom of the screen to find this.
3-4. Tap Link New Service.
You can skip this if the service you want to use is already listed under "Services".
3-5. Tap on the service you wish to use.
This will be the service that launches when you ask Alexa to play a station.
By default, Alexa uses Amazon Music. This is where you can select a different music service, such as Spotify or Apple Music.
If the service you wish to use is not listed, follow method 1 to add a new skill.
3-6. Tap Enable to Use.
This is a blue button near the top.
3-7. Sign in to the account using your credentials.
This will link your service to Alexa.
3-8. Tap Default Services.
This is back in the menu in the tab.
3-9. Change the default service to the new one you linked.
Tap next to the service you wish to change. You can set different services for music, genre/artist stations, and podcasts.
3-10. Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.
This launches Alexa.
3-11. Ask Alexa to play your station.
This can be based on a genre or artist. You can say something like "Alexa, play jazz music" or "Alexa, play a top 40s station".
If you don't want to set up your default preferences first, you can just specify the service you'd like Alexa to use. For instance, say "Alexa, play jazz music on Spotify".
The music will start playing on your connected device. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo. If you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play music. Instead, just say it near the Echo.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Playing a Radio Station\\n1-1. Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.\\nLook for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.\\nIf you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.\\n1-2. Tap on the 3 lines in the top left.\\nThis opens up a sidebar menu.\\n1-3. Tap Skills & Games.\\nThis is near the middle.\\n1-4. Tap the search icon and search for a radio station.\\nThe icon is in the top right corner.\\nIf you do not know which radio station to search for, browse for one by tapping in the tab.\\nYou can find many local and international radio stations here.\\n1-5. Tap on a station to add it.\\nView an example phrase to use in order to trigger that station, such as \\\"Alexa, what's in the news?\\\".\\n1-6. Tap Enable to use.\\nThis is a blue button near the top. The skill will be enabled when this button disappears.\\nSome services require you to sign in to your account associated with that service. Log in using your credentials to link and enable the service on Alexa.\\n1-7. Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.\\nThis launches Alexa.\\n1-8. Ask Alexa to play your station.\\nUsing the name of your station, say \\\"Alexa, play ____?\\\".\\nThe station will start playing on your connected device. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo. If you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play the station. Instead, just say it near the Echo.\\nYou can also say \\\"Alexa, what's in the news?\\\" to get a news station. If you ask for the radio in general, or ask for music, you will get the station that is set as your default music player. Follow method 3 to set up a music player.\\n2. Playing an Amazon Music Station\\n2-1. Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.\\nLook for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.\\nIf you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play music. Instead, just say it near the Echo.\\nIf you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.\\n2-2. Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.\\nThis launches Alexa.\\n2-3. Ask Alexa to play your station.\\nThis can be based on a genre or artist. You can say something like \\\"Alexa, play jazz music\\\" or \\\"Alexa, play a top 40s station\\\"\\nThe music will start playing on your connected device using Amazon Music, which is the default music player. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo.\\n3. Playing Another Music Service\\n3-1. Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.\\nLook for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.\\nIf you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.\\n3-2. Tap Play.\\nThis is an option at the bottom, with the triangular play icon.\\n3-3. Tap Manage Your Services.\\nYou will need to scroll to the bottom of the screen to find this.\\n3-4. Tap Link New Service.\\nYou can skip this if the service you want to use is already listed under \\\"Services\\\".\\n3-5. Tap on the service you wish to use.\\nThis will be the service that launches when you ask Alexa to play a station.\\nBy default, Alexa uses Amazon Music. This is where you can select a different music service, such as Spotify or Apple Music.\\nIf the service you wish to use is not listed, follow method 1 to add a new skill.\\n3-6. Tap Enable to Use.\\nThis is a blue button near the top.\\n3-7. Sign in to the account using your credentials.\\nThis will link your service to Alexa.\\n3-8. Tap Default Services.\\nThis is back in the menu in the tab.\\n3-9. Change the default service to the new one you linked.\\nTap next to the service you wish to change. You can set different services for music, genre/artist stations, and podcasts.\\n3-10. Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.\\nThis launches Alexa.\\n3-11. Ask Alexa to play your station.\\nThis can be based on a genre or artist. You can say something like \\\"Alexa, play jazz music\\\" or \\\"Alexa, play a top 40s station\\\".\\nIf you don't want to set up your default preferences first, you can just specify the service you'd like Alexa to use. For instance, say \\\"Alexa, play jazz music on Spotify\\\".\\nThe music will start playing on your connected device. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo. If you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play music. Instead, just say it near the Echo.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to play the radio on an Amazon Alexa device, such as Echo, or your smartphone. You can play many international and local radio stations, or you can play music from a streaming service such as Amazon Music or Spotify Premium.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Playing a Radio Station\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.\", \"描述\": \"Look for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.\\nIf you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap on the 3 lines in the top left.\", \"描述\": \"This opens up a sidebar menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Skills & Games.\", \"描述\": \"This is near the middle.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap the search icon and search for a radio station.\", \"描述\": \"The icon is in the top right corner.\\nIf you do not know which radio station to search for, browse for one by tapping in the tab.\\nYou can find many local and international radio stations here.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap on a station to add it.\", \"描述\": \"View an example phrase to use in order to trigger that station, such as \\\"Alexa, what's in the news?\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap Enable to use.\", \"描述\": \"This is a blue button near the top. The skill will be enabled when this button disappears.\\nSome services require you to sign in to your account associated with that service. Log in using your credentials to link and enable the service on Alexa.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.\", \"描述\": \"This launches Alexa.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask Alexa to play your station.\", \"描述\": \"Using the name of your station, say \\\"Alexa, play ____?\\\".\\nThe station will start playing on your connected device. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo. If you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play the station. Instead, just say it near the Echo.\\nYou can also say \\\"Alexa, what's in the news?\\\" to get a news station. If you ask for the radio in general, or ask for music, you will get the station that is set as your default music player. Follow method 3 to set up a music player.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Playing an Amazon Music Station\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.\", \"描述\": \"Look for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.\\nIf you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play music. Instead, just say it near the Echo.\\nIf you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.\", \"描述\": \"This launches Alexa.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask Alexa to play your station.\", \"描述\": \"This can be based on a genre or artist. You can say something like \\\"Alexa, play jazz music\\\" or \\\"Alexa, play a top 40s station\\\"\\nThe music will start playing on your connected device using Amazon Music, which is the default music player. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Playing Another Music Service\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Launch the Alexa app on your smartphone or tablet.\", \"描述\": \"Look for the icon with a white circle on a light blue background on your home screen or in the app drawer.\\nIf you do not have the Amazon Alexa app, download it from the Google Play Store on Android, or the App Store on an iPhone or iPad. You will need to log in using your Amazon account.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap Play.\", \"描述\": \"This is an option at the bottom, with the triangular play icon.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Manage Your Services.\", \"描述\": \"You will need to scroll to the bottom of the screen to find this.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap Link New Service.\", \"描述\": \"You can skip this if the service you want to use is already listed under \\\"Services\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap on the service you wish to use.\", \"描述\": \"This will be the service that launches when you ask Alexa to play a station.\\nBy default, Alexa uses Amazon Music. This is where you can select a different music service, such as Spotify or Apple Music.\\nIf the service you wish to use is not listed, follow method 1 to add a new skill.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap Enable to Use.\", \"描述\": \"This is a blue button near the top.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Sign in to the account using your credentials.\", \"描述\": \"This will link your service to Alexa.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Tap Default Services.\", \"描述\": \"This is back in the menu in the tab.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Change the default service to the new one you linked.\", \"描述\": \"Tap next to the service you wish to change. You can set different services for music, genre/artist stations, and podcasts.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Tap on the blue circle at the bottom of the screen.\", \"描述\": \"This launches Alexa.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Ask Alexa to play your station.\", \"描述\": \"This can be based on a genre or artist. You can say something like \\\"Alexa, play jazz music\\\" or \\\"Alexa, play a top 40s station\\\".\\nIf you don't want to set up your default preferences first, you can just specify the service you'd like Alexa to use. For instance, say \\\"Alexa, play jazz music on Spotify\\\".\\nThe music will start playing on your connected device. This might be off of your smartphone, or a connected Echo. If you are using the Echo, you don't need to open the app to ask Alexa to play music. Instead, just say it near the Echo.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,439 | How to Ask Allah for Forgiveness | 1. Making a Sincere Request
1-1. Identify your mistake or sin.
It is very important to realize when you have strayed from Allah's guidance. Identify what you did wrong, why you did it, why Allah has forbidden it and how it has affected you and other people. Clear your mind, think openly, and acknowledge your mistakes. Take responsibility for your actions.
Remember that you have the ability to make choices and each choice you make will either please or displease Allah and therefore has consequences, either positive or negative.
Study the rules of behaviour set out in the Shariah, so that you know the difference between right and wrong from an Islamic perspective.
Sins create a veil over the heart, which can separate you from Allah. However, by asking for forgiveness, you can undo this separation.
Even if your mistake seems minor to you, acknowledge it and ask Allah to forgive you. This will allow you to learn from it and use it to improve yourself.
1-2. Ask for forgiveness because you really want to change for the better.
Do not ask for forgiveness because other people are pressuring you to do so. Many people may guide you and tell you what's right and what's not, and if they know that you have committed a sin, suggest you ask for forgiveness. But asking for forgiveness won't have any effect unless you sincerely regret your action and seek forgiveness.
Sincerity means truly regretting what you have done wrong, feeling sorrow for the displeasure that you have brought Allah and fearing His punishment. Crying during prayer is a good sign of sincerity.
Praying for forgiveness multiple times every day is part of the routine of worship of all Muslims. This will help to ensure that you’re always reflecting on your actions and seeking to improve yourself.
1-3. Promise not to repeat the mistake with deep sincerity.
You can't ask for forgiveness with the vague intention of not doing it again. Make sure that you are dedicated to avoiding the behavior in the future before you ask for forgiveness. Otherwise, asking for forgiveness is an insincere act and you may receive Allah's punishment instead.
For example, if you lied about something to your brother, reflect on why this was wrong and commit to never doing it again.
If the sin involved immoral behavior, then take clear steps to avoid repeating it, such as lowering your gaze, avoiding triggers and fasting.
1-4. Recognize if someone else was also affected by your sins or mistakes.
Take some time to reflect on whether your actions hurt other people, and if so, who those people were and what harm you may have caused them. Once you identify who may have been harmed by your actions, you will need to ask them for their forgiveness, too.
If the sin violated the rights of any other person, like right of money or property, then it is necessary to restore their rights. For example, if you stole something from someone, give it back to them.
If the sin consisted of slandering someone, then seek his forgiveness with all your heart. Apologize to them for what you said and ask them to forgive you.
1-5. Be grateful that you can ask for forgiveness.
Never take Allah’s forgiveness for granted. Entering the period of repentance without being committed to your God won't do any good. Have belief in Allah and pray that he will make things right. Remember, the Quran says:
“Indeed Allah loves those who repent and purify themselves.“ [Surah Al Baqarah, 2:222]
"Then Adam received from his Lord [some] words, and He accepted his repentance. Indeed, it is He who is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful." [2:37]
He said, "I will ask forgiveness for you from my Lord. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." [12:98]
2. Finding the Right Time and Way to Pray
2-1. Perform Salah
Do your prayers with utmost sincerity and reverence toward Allah. Perform the five compulsory salaat. If you are male, try to do them at a mosque. The calm and devoted environment might help you. Do not hesitate from performing additional Sunnah (recommended) and Nafl (voluntary) rakats. They will count heavily in your favour, especially if you do them consistently.
Salaat is the key to developing a close connection with Allah and must be prioritized within the daily schedule of every Muslim.
2-2. Ask Allah for forgiveness after the salaat (prayers).
After completing your salaat is a good time to ask forgiveness. Offer your prayers at the right time and with the right attitude and focus.
Allah says in the Quran, “And perform Salaat, at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory Salaat].” (Hud 11:114).
2-3. Continue to ask Allah for forgiveness day and night.
Depending on the severity of your sin, you might not be forgiven in a day. Seeking forgiveness is a slow process of improving yourself from within and righting the wrong that you have done to Allah. Seeking forgiveness could be a long, tiring path, but this will be to your benefit in the long run as it may save you from the Hellfire.
The Prophet (S.A.W.S) said: “Allah, the Exalted, will continue to stretch out His Hand in the night so that the sinners of the day may repent, and continue to stretch His Hand in the daytime so that the sinners of the night may repent, until the sun rises from the west (the start of Day of Judgment)”. [Sahih Muslim].
Always be mindful of the Day of Judgment when you will have to account to Allah for your actions and your fate in the afterlife will be determined.
Familiarise yourself with the descriptions of Jannah (Paradise) and Jahannam (Hellfire) from the Qur'an and authentic ahadith and use these to motivate yourself to be a better Muslim.
2-4. Use Allah's different names that attribute his kindness and forgiveness.
The most suitable of the names include Al-’Afuww (He who pardons), Al-Ghafoor (He who forgives), and Al-Ghaffaar (The Oft-Forgiving). Using one or all of these names might help to increase the power of your prayers.
“And Allah has the most excellent and perfect names, so worship and invoke Him by them” (Al-A’raaf, 7:180)
2-5. Recite the duas
The duas are prayers of supplication. You can recite duas as a special way to ask Allah for forgiveness. Some options include:
"They said, "Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers."" [7:23]
Recite Astaghfirullah constantly. Say it 3 times after every salat and an absolute minimum of 100 times a day. It means, "I seek forgiveness from Allah". Many Muslims recite "Astaghfirullah" thousands of times as part of the self-healing process after sinning.
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Whoever says, 'Subhan Allah wa bihamdihi,' 100 times a day, will be forgiven all his sins even if they were as much as the foam of the sea. [Sahih al-Bukhari 6405]
3. Using Acts to Seek Forgiveness
3-1. Plan to fast during the month of Ramadan.
It is the most important time for any Muslim to show his devotion towards Allah. Moreover, it is considered the “month of forgiveness.” Delve deep into sincerity and devotion during this time to seek forgiveness for your sins.
Prophet (S.A.W.S) said: “The five daily prayers and one Jumu’ah to the next, and one Ramadan to the next Ramadan, is expiation for what lies between them as long as one refrains from the major sins.” [Sahih Muslim]
3-2. Perform good deeds to erase bad deeds.
Focus on doing good deeds that Allah appreciates. Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds.[11:114] Look for opportunities to help your neighbors in your daily life.
For example, you could help your neighbor carry in a heavy piece of furniture, give a ride to a coworker whose car is in the shop, or buy a meal for a homeless person.
Reading Qur'an, making dua and dhikr will all bring great rewards and help you develop the focus on the afterlife that will keep you away from sin.
Voluntary fasting will help you to appreciate Allah's gifts more and build resolve to live a good life in the obedience of Allah.
3-3. Do charity (Zakat).
Zakat is an effective way to offset your sins, which will not only make you feel better about yourself, but will also make someone else's life better. Donate to a charity regularly or offer your time if you cannot afford to give money, such as by volunteering at a local soup kitchen.
3-4. Perform Hajj
A hajj is a religious pilgrimage. It is said that all your sins would be washed away when you go on a hajj for the first time. However, a spiritual pilgrimage is a big undertaking, so this might not be a realistic option for everyone.
This might be something you’d do if you’ve committed a major sin and are seeking total spiritual purification.
3-5. Do little things that can help you when seeking forgiveness.
Small moments of mindfulness during prayer, surrounding yourself with the right people, and even how you dress may also affect how Allah receives your request for forgiveness. Look for minor things you can do to bolster your faith.
Saying "Ameen." The Prophet (S.A.W.S) said, “When the Imaam says ‘Ameen’, say ‘Ameen’, because he who coincides with the angels when saying Ameen will get all his previous sins forgiven.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim).
Surround yourself and attend Islamic study circles with people mindful of Allah. It is very important to be away from bad company or any person who distracts you from the holy path of Islam.
Following the Islamic dress code will help you remember Allah and remind you of the need to stay within the limits set out in the Shariah.
Tips
Try to stay away from people who have a bad influence on you. This will make it harder to stay on your spiritual path.
Practice self-control to avoid similar situations in future.
Warnings
Never ask for forgiveness half-heartedly. Only ask if you really regret what you did.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making a Sincere Request\\n1-1. Identify your mistake or sin.\\nIt is very important to realize when you have strayed from Allah's guidance. Identify what you did wrong, why you did it, why Allah has forbidden it and how it has affected you and other people. Clear your mind, think openly, and acknowledge your mistakes. Take responsibility for your actions. \\nRemember that you have the ability to make choices and each choice you make will either please or displease Allah and therefore has consequences, either positive or negative.\\nStudy the rules of behaviour set out in the Shariah, so that you know the difference between right and wrong from an Islamic perspective.\\nSins create a veil over the heart, which can separate you from Allah. However, by asking for forgiveness, you can undo this separation.\\nEven if your mistake seems minor to you, acknowledge it and ask Allah to forgive you. This will allow you to learn from it and use it to improve yourself.\\n1-2. Ask for forgiveness because you really want to change for the better.\\nDo not ask for forgiveness because other people are pressuring you to do so. Many people may guide you and tell you what's right and what's not, and if they know that you have committed a sin, suggest you ask for forgiveness. But asking for forgiveness won't have any effect unless you sincerely regret your action and seek forgiveness. \\nSincerity means truly regretting what you have done wrong, feeling sorrow for the displeasure that you have brought Allah and fearing His punishment. Crying during prayer is a good sign of sincerity.\\nPraying for forgiveness multiple times every day is part of the routine of worship of all Muslims. This will help to ensure that you’re always reflecting on your actions and seeking to improve yourself.\\n1-3. Promise not to repeat the mistake with deep sincerity.\\nYou can't ask for forgiveness with the vague intention of not doing it again. Make sure that you are dedicated to avoiding the behavior in the future before you ask for forgiveness. Otherwise, asking for forgiveness is an insincere act and you may receive Allah's punishment instead. \\nFor example, if you lied about something to your brother, reflect on why this was wrong and commit to never doing it again. \\nIf the sin involved immoral behavior, then take clear steps to avoid repeating it, such as lowering your gaze, avoiding triggers and fasting.\\n1-4. Recognize if someone else was also affected by your sins or mistakes.\\nTake some time to reflect on whether your actions hurt other people, and if so, who those people were and what harm you may have caused them. Once you identify who may have been harmed by your actions, you will need to ask them for their forgiveness, too. \\nIf the sin violated the rights of any other person, like right of money or property, then it is necessary to restore their rights. For example, if you stole something from someone, give it back to them.\\nIf the sin consisted of slandering someone, then seek his forgiveness with all your heart. Apologize to them for what you said and ask them to forgive you.\\n1-5. Be grateful that you can ask for forgiveness.\\nNever take Allah’s forgiveness for granted. Entering the period of repentance without being committed to your God won't do any good. Have belief in Allah and pray that he will make things right. Remember, the Quran says:\\n“Indeed Allah loves those who repent and purify themselves.“ [Surah Al Baqarah, 2:222]\\n\\\"Then Adam received from his Lord [some] words, and He accepted his repentance. Indeed, it is He who is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.\\\" [2:37]\\nHe said, \\\"I will ask forgiveness for you from my Lord. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.\\\" [12:98]\\n2. Finding the Right Time and Way to Pray\\n2-1. Perform Salah\\nDo your prayers with utmost sincerity and reverence toward Allah. Perform the five compulsory salaat. If you are male, try to do them at a mosque. The calm and devoted environment might help you. Do not hesitate from performing additional Sunnah (recommended) and Nafl (voluntary) rakats. They will count heavily in your favour, especially if you do them consistently. \\nSalaat is the key to developing a close connection with Allah and must be prioritized within the daily schedule of every Muslim.\\n2-2. Ask Allah for forgiveness after the salaat (prayers).\\nAfter completing your salaat is a good time to ask forgiveness. Offer your prayers at the right time and with the right attitude and focus. \\nAllah says in the Quran, “And perform Salaat, at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory Salaat].” (Hud 11:114).\\n2-3. Continue to ask Allah for forgiveness day and night.\\nDepending on the severity of your sin, you might not be forgiven in a day. Seeking forgiveness is a slow process of improving yourself from within and righting the wrong that you have done to Allah. Seeking forgiveness could be a long, tiring path, but this will be to your benefit in the long run as it may save you from the Hellfire.\\nThe Prophet (S.A.W.S) said: “Allah, the Exalted, will continue to stretch out His Hand in the night so that the sinners of the day may repent, and continue to stretch His Hand in the daytime so that the sinners of the night may repent, until the sun rises from the west (the start of Day of Judgment)”. [Sahih Muslim].\\nAlways be mindful of the Day of Judgment when you will have to account to Allah for your actions and your fate in the afterlife will be determined.\\nFamiliarise yourself with the descriptions of Jannah (Paradise) and Jahannam (Hellfire) from the Qur'an and authentic ahadith and use these to motivate yourself to be a better Muslim.\\n2-4. Use Allah's different names that attribute his kindness and forgiveness.\\nThe most suitable of the names include Al-’Afuww (He who pardons), Al-Ghafoor (He who forgives), and Al-Ghaffaar (The Oft-Forgiving). Using one or all of these names might help to increase the power of your prayers.\\n“And Allah has the most excellent and perfect names, so worship and invoke Him by them” (Al-A’raaf, 7:180)\\n2-5. Recite the duas\\nThe duas are prayers of supplication. You can recite duas as a special way to ask Allah for forgiveness. Some options include:\\n\\\"They said, \\\"Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.\\\"\\\" [7:23]\\nRecite Astaghfirullah constantly. Say it 3 times after every salat and an absolute minimum of 100 times a day. It means, \\\"I seek forgiveness from Allah\\\". Many Muslims recite \\\"Astaghfirullah\\\" thousands of times as part of the self-healing process after sinning.\\nAllah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, \\\"Whoever says, 'Subhan Allah wa bihamdihi,' 100 times a day, will be forgiven all his sins even if they were as much as the foam of the sea. [Sahih al-Bukhari 6405]\\n3. Using Acts to Seek Forgiveness\\n3-1. Plan to fast during the month of Ramadan.\\nIt is the most important time for any Muslim to show his devotion towards Allah. Moreover, it is considered the “month of forgiveness.” Delve deep into sincerity and devotion during this time to seek forgiveness for your sins. \\nProphet (S.A.W.S) said: “The five daily prayers and one Jumu’ah to the next, and one Ramadan to the next Ramadan, is expiation for what lies between them as long as one refrains from the major sins.” [Sahih Muslim]\\n3-2. Perform good deeds to erase bad deeds.\\nFocus on doing good deeds that Allah appreciates. Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds.[11:114] Look for opportunities to help your neighbors in your daily life. \\nFor example, you could help your neighbor carry in a heavy piece of furniture, give a ride to a coworker whose car is in the shop, or buy a meal for a homeless person.\\nReading Qur'an, making dua and dhikr will all bring great rewards and help you develop the focus on the afterlife that will keep you away from sin.\\nVoluntary fasting will help you to appreciate Allah's gifts more and build resolve to live a good life in the obedience of Allah.\\n3-3. Do charity (Zakat).\\nZakat is an effective way to offset your sins, which will not only make you feel better about yourself, but will also make someone else's life better. Donate to a charity regularly or offer your time if you cannot afford to give money, such as by volunteering at a local soup kitchen.\\n3-4. Perform Hajj\\nA hajj is a religious pilgrimage. It is said that all your sins would be washed away when you go on a hajj for the first time. However, a spiritual pilgrimage is a big undertaking, so this might not be a realistic option for everyone.\\nThis might be something you’d do if you’ve committed a major sin and are seeking total spiritual purification.\\n3-5. Do little things that can help you when seeking forgiveness.\\nSmall moments of mindfulness during prayer, surrounding yourself with the right people, and even how you dress may also affect how Allah receives your request for forgiveness. Look for minor things you can do to bolster your faith. \\nSaying \\\"Ameen.\\\" The Prophet (S.A.W.S) said, “When the Imaam says ‘Ameen’, say ‘Ameen’, because he who coincides with the angels when saying Ameen will get all his previous sins forgiven.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim).\\nSurround yourself and attend Islamic study circles with people mindful of Allah. It is very important to be away from bad company or any person who distracts you from the holy path of Islam.\\nFollowing the Islamic dress code will help you remember Allah and remind you of the need to stay within the limits set out in the Shariah.\\nTips\\nTry to stay away from people who have a bad influence on you. This will make it harder to stay on your spiritual path.\\nPractice self-control to avoid similar situations in future.\\nWarnings\\nNever ask for forgiveness half-heartedly. Only ask if you really regret what you did.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It’s impossible for anyone to remain free of sin or never make a mistake. However, if you want to be a good Muslim, it’s important to reflect whenever you do something wrong, ask Allah for forgiveness, and work on not repeating the behavior again. You can also increase the power of your prayers for forgiveness by asking at optimal times and using special words. If you want to do even more to seek forgiveness, you can perform acts of worship, kindness and charity to offset your sin and help purify your heart.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making a Sincere Request\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify your mistake or sin.\", \"描述\": \"It is very important to realize when you have strayed from Allah's guidance. Identify what you did wrong, why you did it, why Allah has forbidden it and how it has affected you and other people. Clear your mind, think openly, and acknowledge your mistakes. Take responsibility for your actions. \\nRemember that you have the ability to make choices and each choice you make will either please or displease Allah and therefore has consequences, either positive or negative.\\nStudy the rules of behaviour set out in the Shariah, so that you know the difference between right and wrong from an Islamic perspective.\\nSins create a veil over the heart, which can separate you from Allah. However, by asking for forgiveness, you can undo this separation.\\nEven if your mistake seems minor to you, acknowledge it and ask Allah to forgive you. This will allow you to learn from it and use it to improve yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness because you really want to change for the better.\", \"描述\": \"Do not ask for forgiveness because other people are pressuring you to do so. Many people may guide you and tell you what's right and what's not, and if they know that you have committed a sin, suggest you ask for forgiveness. But asking for forgiveness won't have any effect unless you sincerely regret your action and seek forgiveness. \\nSincerity means truly regretting what you have done wrong, feeling sorrow for the displeasure that you have brought Allah and fearing His punishment. Crying during prayer is a good sign of sincerity.\\nPraying for forgiveness multiple times every day is part of the routine of worship of all Muslims. This will help to ensure that you’re always reflecting on your actions and seeking to improve yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Promise not to repeat the mistake with deep sincerity.\", \"描述\": \"You can't ask for forgiveness with the vague intention of not doing it again. Make sure that you are dedicated to avoiding the behavior in the future before you ask for forgiveness. Otherwise, asking for forgiveness is an insincere act and you may receive Allah's punishment instead. \\nFor example, if you lied about something to your brother, reflect on why this was wrong and commit to never doing it again. \\nIf the sin involved immoral behavior, then take clear steps to avoid repeating it, such as lowering your gaze, avoiding triggers and fasting.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recognize if someone else was also affected by your sins or mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time to reflect on whether your actions hurt other people, and if so, who those people were and what harm you may have caused them. Once you identify who may have been harmed by your actions, you will need to ask them for their forgiveness, too. \\nIf the sin violated the rights of any other person, like right of money or property, then it is necessary to restore their rights. For example, if you stole something from someone, give it back to them.\\nIf the sin consisted of slandering someone, then seek his forgiveness with all your heart. Apologize to them for what you said and ask them to forgive you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be grateful that you can ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Never take Allah’s forgiveness for granted. Entering the period of repentance without being committed to your God won't do any good. Have belief in Allah and pray that he will make things right. Remember, the Quran says:\\n“Indeed Allah loves those who repent and purify themselves.“ [Surah Al Baqarah, 2:222]\\n\\\"Then Adam received from his Lord [some] words, and He accepted his repentance. Indeed, it is He who is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.\\\" [2:37]\\nHe said, \\\"I will ask forgiveness for you from my Lord. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.\\\" [12:98]\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding the Right Time and Way to Pray\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Perform Salah\", \"描述\": \"Do your prayers with utmost sincerity and reverence toward Allah. Perform the five compulsory salaat. If you are male, try to do them at a mosque. The calm and devoted environment might help you. Do not hesitate from performing additional Sunnah (recommended) and Nafl (voluntary) rakats. They will count heavily in your favour, especially if you do them consistently. \\nSalaat is the key to developing a close connection with Allah and must be prioritized within the daily schedule of every Muslim.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask Allah for forgiveness after the salaat (prayers).\", \"描述\": \"After completing your salaat is a good time to ask forgiveness. Offer your prayers at the right time and with the right attitude and focus. \\nAllah says in the Quran, “And perform Salaat, at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory Salaat].” (Hud 11:114).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Continue to ask Allah for forgiveness day and night.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the severity of your sin, you might not be forgiven in a day. Seeking forgiveness is a slow process of improving yourself from within and righting the wrong that you have done to Allah. Seeking forgiveness could be a long, tiring path, but this will be to your benefit in the long run as it may save you from the Hellfire.\\nThe Prophet (S.A.W.S) said: “Allah, the Exalted, will continue to stretch out His Hand in the night so that the sinners of the day may repent, and continue to stretch His Hand in the daytime so that the sinners of the night may repent, until the sun rises from the west (the start of Day of Judgment)”. [Sahih Muslim].\\nAlways be mindful of the Day of Judgment when you will have to account to Allah for your actions and your fate in the afterlife will be determined.\\nFamiliarise yourself with the descriptions of Jannah (Paradise) and Jahannam (Hellfire) from the Qur'an and authentic ahadith and use these to motivate yourself to be a better Muslim.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use Allah's different names that attribute his kindness and forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"The most suitable of the names include Al-’Afuww (He who pardons), Al-Ghafoor (He who forgives), and Al-Ghaffaar (The Oft-Forgiving). Using one or all of these names might help to increase the power of your prayers.\\n“And Allah has the most excellent and perfect names, so worship and invoke Him by them” (Al-A’raaf, 7:180)\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Recite the duas\", \"描述\": \"The duas are prayers of supplication. You can recite duas as a special way to ask Allah for forgiveness. Some options include:\\n\\\"They said, \\\"Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.\\\"\\\" [7:23]\\nRecite Astaghfirullah constantly. Say it 3 times after every salat and an absolute minimum of 100 times a day. It means, \\\"I seek forgiveness from Allah\\\". Many Muslims recite \\\"Astaghfirullah\\\" thousands of times as part of the self-healing process after sinning.\\nAllah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, \\\"Whoever says, 'Subhan Allah wa bihamdihi,' 100 times a day, will be forgiven all his sins even if they were as much as the foam of the sea. [Sahih al-Bukhari 6405]\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Acts to Seek Forgiveness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan to fast during the month of Ramadan.\", \"描述\": \"It is the most important time for any Muslim to show his devotion towards Allah. Moreover, it is considered the “month of forgiveness.” Delve deep into sincerity and devotion during this time to seek forgiveness for your sins. \\nProphet (S.A.W.S) said: “The five daily prayers and one Jumu’ah to the next, and one Ramadan to the next Ramadan, is expiation for what lies between them as long as one refrains from the major sins.” [Sahih Muslim]\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Perform good deeds to erase bad deeds.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on doing good deeds that Allah appreciates. Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds.[11:114] Look for opportunities to help your neighbors in your daily life. \\nFor example, you could help your neighbor carry in a heavy piece of furniture, give a ride to a coworker whose car is in the shop, or buy a meal for a homeless person.\\nReading Qur'an, making dua and dhikr will all bring great rewards and help you develop the focus on the afterlife that will keep you away from sin.\\nVoluntary fasting will help you to appreciate Allah's gifts more and build resolve to live a good life in the obedience of Allah.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do charity (Zakat).\", \"描述\": \"Zakat is an effective way to offset your sins, which will not only make you feel better about yourself, but will also make someone else's life better. Donate to a charity regularly or offer your time if you cannot afford to give money, such as by volunteering at a local soup kitchen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Perform Hajj\", \"描述\": \"A hajj is a religious pilgrimage. It is said that all your sins would be washed away when you go on a hajj for the first time. However, a spiritual pilgrimage is a big undertaking, so this might not be a realistic option for everyone.\\nThis might be something you’d do if you’ve committed a major sin and are seeking total spiritual purification.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do little things that can help you when seeking forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Small moments of mindfulness during prayer, surrounding yourself with the right people, and even how you dress may also affect how Allah receives your request for forgiveness. Look for minor things you can do to bolster your faith. \\nSaying \\\"Ameen.\\\" The Prophet (S.A.W.S) said, “When the Imaam says ‘Ameen’, say ‘Ameen’, because he who coincides with the angels when saying Ameen will get all his previous sins forgiven.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim).\\nSurround yourself and attend Islamic study circles with people mindful of Allah. It is very important to be away from bad company or any person who distracts you from the holy path of Islam.\\nFollowing the Islamic dress code will help you remember Allah and remind you of the need to stay within the limits set out in the Shariah.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to stay away from people who have a bad influence on you. This will make it harder to stay on your spiritual path.\\n\", \"Practice self-control to avoid similar situations in future.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never ask for forgiveness half-heartedly. Only ask if you really regret what you did.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,440 | How to Ask Anyone on a Date over the Phone | 1. Steps
1-1. Check that the person you're calling does not already have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Skip this step if the person you are calling is your boyfriend/girlfriend.
1-2. Know what you are saying.
More often than not, a person will call another without knowing what to say.If you are unprepared, then you could create an awkward silence. Avoid this by writing out what you're going to say and rehearsing. (See Tips.) Still act natural though!
1-3. Be specific.
Asking a person out without knowing where to go will hurt you when the day comes and make you less confident. If it is a movie or a concert then mention the time as well.
1-4. Act Casual.
Start up a conversation first. Once you feel comfortable talking to the person, go ahead and start with your rehearsed conversation.
1-5. Avoid the dreaded awkward silence.
If there is a silence longer than fifteen seconds *Don't count, of course*, then say "It's OK if you don't want to..." or "You don't have to tell me now."
1-6. Accept rejection
If the person on the other side says no, but does want to go out with you some other time, try again! Tell the person that you understand. Don't get angry, rude or sullen.
If they're not interested, keep your response really casual and chill. Say something like, "Oh, well, you know, I really value our friendship and I hope I haven't done anything to jeopardize that. And so let's just go back to being friends just like we were before." Or, "Oh, that's a bummer. Good chatting with you, though."
1-7. Say "Thank you"
Congratulations! You have just asked a person out over the phone.
Tips
Sound confident. If you sound shy, then he/she will probably feel that you're not ready for a date.
Make sure no one is around for your big question. Don't be anywhere near your parents or anyone that will nag you until you tell them who you just asked out. This also improves your confidence.
There are also cheap or free things to do on a date. School dances or going to the beach or a lake for a picnic is always good.
Warnings
If you're rejected, don't let up, but also loosen up a little. They may not like you, but they may be doubtful about their feelings about you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Check that the person you're calling does not already have a boyfriend/girlfriend.\\nSkip this step if the person you are calling is your boyfriend/girlfriend.\\n1-2. Know what you are saying.\\nMore often than not, a person will call another without knowing what to say.If you are unprepared, then you could create an awkward silence. Avoid this by writing out what you're going to say and rehearsing. (See Tips.) Still act natural though!\\n1-3. Be specific.\\nAsking a person out without knowing where to go will hurt you when the day comes and make you less confident. If it is a movie or a concert then mention the time as well.\\n1-4. Act Casual.\\nStart up a conversation first. Once you feel comfortable talking to the person, go ahead and start with your rehearsed conversation.\\n1-5. Avoid the dreaded awkward silence.\\nIf there is a silence longer than fifteen seconds *Don't count, of course*, then say \\\"It's OK if you don't want to...\\\" or \\\"You don't have to tell me now.\\\"\\n1-6. Accept rejection\\nIf the person on the other side says no, but does want to go out with you some other time, try again! Tell the person that you understand. Don't get angry, rude or sullen.\\nIf they're not interested, keep your response really casual and chill. Say something like, \\\"Oh, well, you know, I really value our friendship and I hope I haven't done anything to jeopardize that. And so let's just go back to being friends just like we were before.\\\" Or, \\\"Oh, that's a bummer. Good chatting with you, though.\\\"\\n1-7. Say \\\"Thank you\\\"\\nCongratulations! You have just asked a person out over the phone.\\nTips\\nSound confident. If you sound shy, then he/she will probably feel that you're not ready for a date.\\nMake sure no one is around for your big question. Don't be anywhere near your parents or anyone that will nag you until you tell them who you just asked out. This also improves your confidence.\\nThere are also cheap or free things to do on a date. School dances or going to the beach or a lake for a picnic is always good.\\nWarnings\\nIf you're rejected, don't let up, but also loosen up a little. They may not like you, but they may be doubtful about their feelings about you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to ask someone out, but didn't have the guts to do it in person? This is how you ask out a boy/girl/significant other over the phone!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check that the person you're calling does not already have a boyfriend/girlfriend.\", \"描述\": \"Skip this step if the person you are calling is your boyfriend/girlfriend.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know what you are saying.\", \"描述\": \"More often than not, a person will call another without knowing what to say.If you are unprepared, then you could create an awkward silence. Avoid this by writing out what you're going to say and rehearsing. (See Tips.) Still act natural though!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be specific.\", \"描述\": \"Asking a person out without knowing where to go will hurt you when the day comes and make you less confident. If it is a movie or a concert then mention the time as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Act Casual.\", \"描述\": \"Start up a conversation first. Once you feel comfortable talking to the person, go ahead and start with your rehearsed conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid the dreaded awkward silence.\", \"描述\": \"If there is a silence longer than fifteen seconds *Don't count, of course*, then say \\\"It's OK if you don't want to...\\\" or \\\"You don't have to tell me now.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Accept rejection\", \"描述\": \"If the person on the other side says no, but does want to go out with you some other time, try again! Tell the person that you understand. Don't get angry, rude or sullen.\\nIf they're not interested, keep your response really casual and chill. Say something like, \\\"Oh, well, you know, I really value our friendship and I hope I haven't done anything to jeopardize that. And so let's just go back to being friends just like we were before.\\\" Or, \\\"Oh, that's a bummer. Good chatting with you, though.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"Thank you\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Congratulations! You have just asked a person out over the phone.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Sound confident. If you sound shy, then he/she will probably feel that you're not ready for a date.\\n\", \"Make sure no one is around for your big question. Don't be anywhere near your parents or anyone that will nag you until you tell them who you just asked out. This also improves your confidence.\\n\", \"There are also cheap or free things to do on a date. School dances or going to the beach or a lake for a picnic is always good.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you're rejected, don't let up, but also loosen up a little. They may not like you, but they may be doubtful about their feelings about you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,441 | How to Ask Better Questions | 1. Making Sure Your Questions Have Weight
1-1. Be willing to ask.
Many people are hesitant to ask questions because they’re afraid it will make them look uninformed. When you request an explanation or clarification, however, it only furthers your understanding. Think of good questions as tools for making sense of the world around you.
If you're embarrassed to ask a question in front of others, consider doing it through an impersonal format like email, or wait for a time when you can do it privately.
Asking the right questions at the right time is a characteristic of strong leaders.
1-2. Have a clear purpose in mind.
Before you pose a question, consider what you hope to gain by asking. Are you gathering information in order to make a critical decision, or looking for feedback on something you’ve done? Thinking about exactly what you want to accomplish will help you refine your line of questioning, which will in turn result in more satisfying answers.
Ask yourself, “What do I hope to learn by asking this question?” This will help you formulate the question more effectively.
1-3. Ask relevant and appropriate questions.
There may be certain times when it’s better to keep your questions to yourself. It may be that the question could cause confusion or offense, or that the answer is something you could figure out on your own with the right context clues. Mull your question over carefully and consider what, if anything, it will add to the conversation.
If the question you’re about to ask is one you wouldn’t feel comfortable answering yourself, it might be better to let it go.
Redundant or obvious questions can distract from the big picture, and may make it seem like you’re not paying attention.
1-4. Ask the right person.
Not everyone has the same feelings, experiences or expertise. If the answer you receive is to be of any use to you, it needs to come from an authoritative source. Address your question to someone who you think might be able to offer the insights you’re looking for, or who has a direct connection to subject you’re inquiring about.
You wouldn’t ask your spouse how to treat acute bronchitis, just as you wouldn’t ask your doctor how you can be a better listener during arguments.
By directing your questions judiciously, you stand to make the discussion more enriching for both parties.
2. Asking More Effective Questions
2-1. Ask the question as soon as it comes to you.
It’s usually best to get your question out there while it’s still fresh on your mind. That way, you won’t forget it or feel bashful about asking later. You’ll also be given a chance to clarify key information before moving on to other concerns.
In most cases, you can simply raise your hand or wait for a pause in the conversation to fire off your question.
If you’re not in a position to ask a question immediately (such as late at night or in the middle of a presentation), make a note of it so you can bring it up the first chance you get.
2-2. Word your questions carefully.
Ideally, they should be phrased in such a way that they point to the information you’re lacking. You might know what a thing is, but not how it works or why it’s important. How you frame the question can determine the kind of response you get.
Stay away from complicated jargon or overly technical terms. Aim to speak in a way that anyone can understand.
Avoid influencing your listener with your own judgments. Rather than asking, “Isn't David a great candidate?” try the more neutral, “What did you think of Mr. Miller's proposal?”
2-3. Keep it brief.
Don’t use any more words than are strictly needed to articulate your question. If you ramble on at length or add lots of qualifications or other extraneous details, your listener can easily get bogged down. For the sake of clarity, each question should boil down to one central theme or idea.
If you need to touch on multiple points, do it in follow up question.
In general, it’s best to stick with short sentences that don’t beat around the bush. Otherwise, your listener may be forced to guess at your meaning.
Even a question as difficult to unpack as, "How can we create a more tolerant society?" can be phrased in a simple, straightforward manner.
2-4. Listen attentively to the answer.
As you’re receiving an answer, be respectful and focus on what the person is saying without interruption. Let them finish explaining themselves before you present a rebuttal or ask a related question. Any uncertainty you feel will likely be cleared up by their response.
Maintain eye contact, nod or offer a vocal agreement periodically to let the person know you’re listening.
Now is not the time to interject with doubts or opinions. After all, the whole point of asking was to find out something you don’t already know.
2-5. Ask follow up questions.
The answer you receive may raise further questions, or it may hint at new information. Once you’ve asked your initial question, you can zoom in to get a clearer sense of the ideas that are being conveyed. Give the other person a chance to explain their viewpoint more thoroughly, or shift the discussion from stating facts to coming up with practical solutions.
It can be advantageous to approach the topic from different angles. If your first question is, “What is the biggest obstacle facing this project?,” the next one could be, “How can we resolve the issue quickly and efficiently?”
Narrow down subsequent questions as you deliver them—start by presenting an overview of the subject, then work your way into the nitty-gritty details.
3. Posing Questions in Various Situations
3-1. Request specific information.
When there’s something you need to know, asking directly is often the best way to find out. Your question might be as simple as, “What time is it?” or as complex as, “How is ribosomal RNA produced?”, but in either case, you’ll be better off once you ask.
Arriving at the right answer promptly will be most useful in situations where your ability to succeed depends on having all the facts, like when you’re studying for an exam or in need of directions.
Developing a habit of asking thoughtful questions every day is one of the first steps to becoming a lifelong learner.
3-2. Find out someone’s thoughts or opinions.
Sometimes, our most striking ideas are the result of other people’s observations. Whenever you can, encourage your listener to give you their reading of a particular issue or event. Asking someone how they feel allows them to share their unique perspective, which could bring things to your attention that you hadn’t previously considered.
Asking inclusive questions that get the people around you involved and thinking is essential for building camaraderie, whether they’re a coworker or a casual acquaintance.
These types of questions also have a positive effect on relationships because they show that you care about what the other person has to say.
3-3. Ask open-ended questions.
Try not to limit your questions to a set of prescribed options (“Is holistic medicine a good or bad thing?”). It’s better to keep them abstract to make room for a wider range of possible responses. Open-ended prompts are useful for sparking deep discussions that have the potential to lead to enlightening breakthroughs.
Whereas “Did you like my painting?” invites a simple “yes” or “no” response, “What did you think about the exhibit?” invites the listener to elaborate on their impressions freely.
Abstract questioning challenges listeners to draw their own conclusions rather than being guided toward a conventional answer.
Tips
Don’t be afraid to put your questions out there when they arise—the more you ask, the more you’ll learn.
Be ready to accept answers with an open mind. If you’re stubborn or treat the answer with disinterest, you won’t benefit from what you’re being told.
Familiarize yourself with the six common question words (“who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” “why” and “how”) and use the one that’s most appropriate for the situation.
Warnings
Avoid asking questions that might be interpreted as rude or insulting. This is likely to alienate the listener, which will only hurt your chances of reaching a place of mutual understanding.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Sure Your Questions Have Weight\\n1-1. Be willing to ask.\\nMany people are hesitant to ask questions because they’re afraid it will make them look uninformed. When you request an explanation or clarification, however, it only furthers your understanding. Think of good questions as tools for making sense of the world around you.\\nIf you're embarrassed to ask a question in front of others, consider doing it through an impersonal format like email, or wait for a time when you can do it privately.\\nAsking the right questions at the right time is a characteristic of strong leaders.\\n1-2. Have a clear purpose in mind.\\nBefore you pose a question, consider what you hope to gain by asking. Are you gathering information in order to make a critical decision, or looking for feedback on something you’ve done? Thinking about exactly what you want to accomplish will help you refine your line of questioning, which will in turn result in more satisfying answers.\\nAsk yourself, “What do I hope to learn by asking this question?” This will help you formulate the question more effectively.\\n1-3. Ask relevant and appropriate questions.\\nThere may be certain times when it’s better to keep your questions to yourself. It may be that the question could cause confusion or offense, or that the answer is something you could figure out on your own with the right context clues. Mull your question over carefully and consider what, if anything, it will add to the conversation.\\nIf the question you’re about to ask is one you wouldn’t feel comfortable answering yourself, it might be better to let it go.\\nRedundant or obvious questions can distract from the big picture, and may make it seem like you’re not paying attention.\\n1-4. Ask the right person.\\nNot everyone has the same feelings, experiences or expertise. If the answer you receive is to be of any use to you, it needs to come from an authoritative source. Address your question to someone who you think might be able to offer the insights you’re looking for, or who has a direct connection to subject you’re inquiring about.\\nYou wouldn’t ask your spouse how to treat acute bronchitis, just as you wouldn’t ask your doctor how you can be a better listener during arguments.\\nBy directing your questions judiciously, you stand to make the discussion more enriching for both parties.\\n2. Asking More Effective Questions\\n2-1. Ask the question as soon as it comes to you.\\nIt’s usually best to get your question out there while it’s still fresh on your mind. That way, you won’t forget it or feel bashful about asking later. You’ll also be given a chance to clarify key information before moving on to other concerns.\\nIn most cases, you can simply raise your hand or wait for a pause in the conversation to fire off your question.\\nIf you’re not in a position to ask a question immediately (such as late at night or in the middle of a presentation), make a note of it so you can bring it up the first chance you get.\\n2-2. Word your questions carefully.\\nIdeally, they should be phrased in such a way that they point to the information you’re lacking. You might know what a thing is, but not how it works or why it’s important. How you frame the question can determine the kind of response you get.\\nStay away from complicated jargon or overly technical terms. Aim to speak in a way that anyone can understand.\\nAvoid influencing your listener with your own judgments. Rather than asking, “Isn't David a great candidate?” try the more neutral, “What did you think of Mr. Miller's proposal?”\\n2-3. Keep it brief.\\nDon’t use any more words than are strictly needed to articulate your question. If you ramble on at length or add lots of qualifications or other extraneous details, your listener can easily get bogged down. For the sake of clarity, each question should boil down to one central theme or idea.\\nIf you need to touch on multiple points, do it in follow up question.\\nIn general, it’s best to stick with short sentences that don’t beat around the bush. Otherwise, your listener may be forced to guess at your meaning.\\nEven a question as difficult to unpack as, \\\"How can we create a more tolerant society?\\\" can be phrased in a simple, straightforward manner.\\n2-4. Listen attentively to the answer.\\nAs you’re receiving an answer, be respectful and focus on what the person is saying without interruption. Let them finish explaining themselves before you present a rebuttal or ask a related question. Any uncertainty you feel will likely be cleared up by their response.\\nMaintain eye contact, nod or offer a vocal agreement periodically to let the person know you’re listening.\\nNow is not the time to interject with doubts or opinions. After all, the whole point of asking was to find out something you don’t already know.\\n2-5. Ask follow up questions.\\nThe answer you receive may raise further questions, or it may hint at new information. Once you’ve asked your initial question, you can zoom in to get a clearer sense of the ideas that are being conveyed. Give the other person a chance to explain their viewpoint more thoroughly, or shift the discussion from stating facts to coming up with practical solutions.\\nIt can be advantageous to approach the topic from different angles. If your first question is, “What is the biggest obstacle facing this project?,” the next one could be, “How can we resolve the issue quickly and efficiently?”\\nNarrow down subsequent questions as you deliver them—start by presenting an overview of the subject, then work your way into the nitty-gritty details.\\n3. Posing Questions in Various Situations\\n3-1. Request specific information.\\nWhen there’s something you need to know, asking directly is often the best way to find out. Your question might be as simple as, “What time is it?” or as complex as, “How is ribosomal RNA produced?”, but in either case, you’ll be better off once you ask.\\nArriving at the right answer promptly will be most useful in situations where your ability to succeed depends on having all the facts, like when you’re studying for an exam or in need of directions.\\nDeveloping a habit of asking thoughtful questions every day is one of the first steps to becoming a lifelong learner.\\n3-2. Find out someone’s thoughts or opinions.\\nSometimes, our most striking ideas are the result of other people’s observations. Whenever you can, encourage your listener to give you their reading of a particular issue or event. Asking someone how they feel allows them to share their unique perspective, which could bring things to your attention that you hadn’t previously considered.\\nAsking inclusive questions that get the people around you involved and thinking is essential for building camaraderie, whether they’re a coworker or a casual acquaintance.\\nThese types of questions also have a positive effect on relationships because they show that you care about what the other person has to say.\\n3-3. Ask open-ended questions.\\nTry not to limit your questions to a set of prescribed options (“Is holistic medicine a good or bad thing?”). It’s better to keep them abstract to make room for a wider range of possible responses. Open-ended prompts are useful for sparking deep discussions that have the potential to lead to enlightening breakthroughs.\\nWhereas “Did you like my painting?” invites a simple “yes” or “no” response, “What did you think about the exhibit?” invites the listener to elaborate on their impressions freely.\\nAbstract questioning challenges listeners to draw their own conclusions rather than being guided toward a conventional answer.\\nTips\\nDon’t be afraid to put your questions out there when they arise—the more you ask, the more you’ll learn.\\nBe ready to accept answers with an open mind. If you’re stubborn or treat the answer with disinterest, you won’t benefit from what you’re being told.\\nFamiliarize yourself with the six common question words (“who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” “why” and “how”) and use the one that’s most appropriate for the situation.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid asking questions that might be interpreted as rude or insulting. This is likely to alienate the listener, which will only hurt your chances of reaching a place of mutual understanding.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking questions is essential to communication. But many people don’t always ask the right kinds of questions, and as a result they miss out on a lot of important details. Fortunately, asking questions, like anything else, is a skill that can be cultivated. Seeing the world around you more clearly starts with having an understanding of what you’re looking for when exchanging the sort of insights that lead to real discoveries. Before you ask a question, it’s worth thinking about what you hope to gain and how you can present it to arrive at the information you’re lacking.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Sure Your Questions Have Weight\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be willing to ask.\", \"描述\": \"Many people are hesitant to ask questions because they’re afraid it will make them look uninformed. When you request an explanation or clarification, however, it only furthers your understanding. Think of good questions as tools for making sense of the world around you.\\nIf you're embarrassed to ask a question in front of others, consider doing it through an impersonal format like email, or wait for a time when you can do it privately.\\nAsking the right questions at the right time is a characteristic of strong leaders.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a clear purpose in mind.\", \"描述\": \"Before you pose a question, consider what you hope to gain by asking. Are you gathering information in order to make a critical decision, or looking for feedback on something you’ve done? Thinking about exactly what you want to accomplish will help you refine your line of questioning, which will in turn result in more satisfying answers.\\nAsk yourself, “What do I hope to learn by asking this question?” This will help you formulate the question more effectively.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask relevant and appropriate questions.\", \"描述\": \"There may be certain times when it’s better to keep your questions to yourself. It may be that the question could cause confusion or offense, or that the answer is something you could figure out on your own with the right context clues. Mull your question over carefully and consider what, if anything, it will add to the conversation.\\nIf the question you’re about to ask is one you wouldn’t feel comfortable answering yourself, it might be better to let it go.\\nRedundant or obvious questions can distract from the big picture, and may make it seem like you’re not paying attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask the right person.\", \"描述\": \"Not everyone has the same feelings, experiences or expertise. If the answer you receive is to be of any use to you, it needs to come from an authoritative source. Address your question to someone who you think might be able to offer the insights you’re looking for, or who has a direct connection to subject you’re inquiring about.\\nYou wouldn’t ask your spouse how to treat acute bronchitis, just as you wouldn’t ask your doctor how you can be a better listener during arguments.\\nBy directing your questions judiciously, you stand to make the discussion more enriching for both parties.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking More Effective Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask the question as soon as it comes to you.\", \"描述\": \"It’s usually best to get your question out there while it’s still fresh on your mind. That way, you won’t forget it or feel bashful about asking later. You’ll also be given a chance to clarify key information before moving on to other concerns.\\nIn most cases, you can simply raise your hand or wait for a pause in the conversation to fire off your question.\\nIf you’re not in a position to ask a question immediately (such as late at night or in the middle of a presentation), make a note of it so you can bring it up the first chance you get.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Word your questions carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Ideally, they should be phrased in such a way that they point to the information you’re lacking. You might know what a thing is, but not how it works or why it’s important. How you frame the question can determine the kind of response you get.\\nStay away from complicated jargon or overly technical terms. Aim to speak in a way that anyone can understand.\\nAvoid influencing your listener with your own judgments. Rather than asking, “Isn't David a great candidate?” try the more neutral, “What did you think of Mr. Miller's proposal?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep it brief.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t use any more words than are strictly needed to articulate your question. If you ramble on at length or add lots of qualifications or other extraneous details, your listener can easily get bogged down. For the sake of clarity, each question should boil down to one central theme or idea.\\nIf you need to touch on multiple points, do it in follow up question.\\nIn general, it’s best to stick with short sentences that don’t beat around the bush. Otherwise, your listener may be forced to guess at your meaning.\\nEven a question as difficult to unpack as, \\\"How can we create a more tolerant society?\\\" can be phrased in a simple, straightforward manner.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen attentively to the answer.\", \"描述\": \"As you’re receiving an answer, be respectful and focus on what the person is saying without interruption. Let them finish explaining themselves before you present a rebuttal or ask a related question. Any uncertainty you feel will likely be cleared up by their response.\\nMaintain eye contact, nod or offer a vocal agreement periodically to let the person know you’re listening.\\nNow is not the time to interject with doubts or opinions. After all, the whole point of asking was to find out something you don’t already know.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask follow up questions.\", \"描述\": \"The answer you receive may raise further questions, or it may hint at new information. Once you’ve asked your initial question, you can zoom in to get a clearer sense of the ideas that are being conveyed. Give the other person a chance to explain their viewpoint more thoroughly, or shift the discussion from stating facts to coming up with practical solutions.\\nIt can be advantageous to approach the topic from different angles. If your first question is, “What is the biggest obstacle facing this project?,” the next one could be, “How can we resolve the issue quickly and efficiently?”\\nNarrow down subsequent questions as you deliver them—start by presenting an overview of the subject, then work your way into the nitty-gritty details.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Posing Questions in Various Situations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Request specific information.\", \"描述\": \"When there’s something you need to know, asking directly is often the best way to find out. Your question might be as simple as, “What time is it?” or as complex as, “How is ribosomal RNA produced?”, but in either case, you’ll be better off once you ask.\\nArriving at the right answer promptly will be most useful in situations where your ability to succeed depends on having all the facts, like when you’re studying for an exam or in need of directions.\\nDeveloping a habit of asking thoughtful questions every day is one of the first steps to becoming a lifelong learner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find out someone’s thoughts or opinions.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, our most striking ideas are the result of other people’s observations. Whenever you can, encourage your listener to give you their reading of a particular issue or event. Asking someone how they feel allows them to share their unique perspective, which could bring things to your attention that you hadn’t previously considered.\\nAsking inclusive questions that get the people around you involved and thinking is essential for building camaraderie, whether they’re a coworker or a casual acquaintance.\\nThese types of questions also have a positive effect on relationships because they show that you care about what the other person has to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask open-ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to limit your questions to a set of prescribed options (“Is holistic medicine a good or bad thing?”). It’s better to keep them abstract to make room for a wider range of possible responses. Open-ended prompts are useful for sparking deep discussions that have the potential to lead to enlightening breakthroughs.\\nWhereas “Did you like my painting?” invites a simple “yes” or “no” response, “What did you think about the exhibit?” invites the listener to elaborate on their impressions freely.\\nAbstract questioning challenges listeners to draw their own conclusions rather than being guided toward a conventional answer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t be afraid to put your questions out there when they arise—the more you ask, the more you’ll learn.\\n\", \"Be ready to accept answers with an open mind. If you’re stubborn or treat the answer with disinterest, you won’t benefit from what you’re being told.\\n\", \"Familiarize yourself with the six common question words (“who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” “why” and “how”) and use the one that’s most appropriate for the situation.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid asking questions that might be interpreted as rude or insulting. This is likely to alienate the listener, which will only hurt your chances of reaching a place of mutual understanding.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,442 | How to Ask Businesses for Donations | 1. Developing Your Approach
1-1. Decide which businesses you want to ask.
The businesses you want to ask for donations are going to depend on the type of charity or other project you're raising money for. Focus on businesses that would benefit in some way from the donation.
Giving the business a good reason to donate makes it more likely that they will do so. For example, if you're raising money for a local little league team, focus on small businesses that are owned by people who live in your community, so they can get some advertising out of the sponsorship.
1-2. Do your research.
Before you even begin to approach a business for donations, you must learn all you can about the business and the types of organizations to which that business normally donates.
Learn more about the business itself and what it offers to the community, so you can determine what benefits the donation would offer to the business.
If the business has a website, you may be able to find out more about the business and its donation strategies and policies there. For small local businesses, do a general internet search for local news websites or community interest blogs.
1-3. Identify the individual in charge of business donations.
If you send a generic solicitation for donations, it likely will get thrown in the trash and never read. To make sure the business takes your request seriously and considers it, address your request to a specific person.
If you're approaching a larger corporation, you typically can find the name of this person by visiting the corporation's website or calling a general business information number.
With small, locally owned businesses, there may not be a specific person (other than the owner) who is in charge of donations. Just call or stop by the business and ask.
1-4. Adapt your approach to the individual.
Once you have the name of someone who is in charge of the donations for the business, do some research on them. Assume their personal opinion will hold some sway on whether the business makes a donation.
For example, suppose you are raising funds to build a new no-kill animal shelter in your community. If you find out the person in charge of donations for a business adopted three dogs from a shelter, you can appeal to their love of animals to stoke their interest in your project.
1-5. Offer something in return.
When you're approaching a business to ask for a donation, think like a business rather than thinking like a charitable individual. Businesses don't donate to organizations or charitable projects for entirely altruistic reasons.
Typically, a business will make a donation because they want to improve their image or standing in the community and ultimately attract more customers. Look for ways in which a donation to your organization or project could accomplish this.
For example, if you're seeking donations for a little league team, you may offer a sponsorship package that includes placing the business's logo on the kids' uniforms. This provides the business with advertising and also encourages the families of kids on the team to shop at that business.
1-6. Practice your approach.
If you want to get a business donation, you typically want to present your request in person. It typically is much more difficult for someone to decline a donation request when that request is made in person.
Craft a short speech lasting a couple of minutes, and memorize it. Practice in the mirror or in front of friends. They can give you pointers to help improve your delivery.
Practice your speech until giving it becomes second nature. When you speak to the business owner, you don't want it to sound like you're reciting something you've just memorized.
2. Composing a Letter
2-1. Search for templates.
Before you schedule a meeting with a business owner or representative to ask for a donation, send a letter (through mail or email) that introduces them to your organization or project and explains that you want to request a donation.
If you're not comfortable crafting a letter on your own, you can do a general internet search for sample letters or templates. Use them as guides for your own letter, but be careful copying them word-for-word – they may include information that doesn't apply to your situation.
Search for "business donation query letter" or "nonprofit donation letter" and download or print several that you can use. That way you can compare and contrast to find the right wording for the needs of your particular project.
2-2. Create an outline.
Before you draft your letter, you can use a basic outline to organize your thoughts and make sure you're including all the information that is important for the reader to know before they consider making a donation.
Working from an outline rather than simply sitting down and writing your letter also will keep you from rambling and help ensure that your letter is direct and to the point.
Business owners are busy. Don't write more than a page, and try to stick to the basic facts. You can persuade them once you meet them in person.
Outline your letter even if you are planning on sending it as an email. You still want what you write to be concise and well-organized.
2-3. Start with a query letter.
A short, simple query letter lets the business owner or representative know a little about your nonprofit project, and that you are contacting them to solicit a donation. This way they aren't caught off guard.
Start your letter by introducing yourself, and include a sentence or two about your organization or project. Then state that you want the business to be involved. Explain how a donation could benefit that particular business.
Use the information you gained from your research to include a personal appeal to the person who will be reading your letter.
Close your letter by requesting a meeting to discuss the opportunity further, and thank the person for their time and consideration.
2-4. Schedule a meeting.
After you've sent your letter to the business, give the owner or representative a few days to read it and contact you on their own. If you don't hear from them within a week or so, call the business to follow up.
When you call the business, ask to speak to the person to whom you sent the letter. When speaking, be cordial. Explain who you are and ask them about the letter. Be cordial and let them know if the matter is time-sensitive.
Try to schedule your meeting within a week or two of the time when you sent your letter. You want your project to remain fresh in the recipient's mind.
If you sent your letter through email, it is appropriate so send another email (or simply reply to your original email) to follow up.
2-5. Meet with the business owner or representative.
When you show up at the business to pitch your organization or project and request a donation, be conservative and respectful. You want to come off as someone they can trust with their money.
At the meeting, deliver your prepared speech. Take any questions the business owner or representative might have. Stress the benefits donating to your cause will provide to the business.
If you're asked any questions to which you don't know the answer, offer to find the answer and get back to them rather than hedging or making something up on the fly. Don't be afraid to say you don't know – a businessperson will appreciate your honesty and initiative to find the answer for them.
2-6. Follow up with a prospect letter.
After you've met with the business owner or representative, get their sponsorship pledge commitment in writing. Even if they wrote you a check at your meeting, you still want to get it in writing.
In your prospect letter, you want to outline the specifics regarding the amount of money the business has pledged to donate, and what they will get in exchange for that donation (such as advertising).
Make a copy of your signed letter for your organization's records before you send it. Attach a copy of the business's check or a receipt for the business's donation to the letter.
You can send this letter via email, but in most cases you'll also want to send a paper letter for records.
2-7. Accept "no" graciously.
You may run into a situation where the owner tells you that the business is not making any donations at this time. Thank them for their time and offer contact information in the event they change their mind.
3. Making Connections
3-1. Establish a social media presence.
Social media pages can help you drum up support for your project or organization. You also can advertise the donations of businesses who have pledged their support.
Seek connections with local businesses that your research indicates are in tune with the goals for your project or your organization at large.
Ask individual connections to point you to other businesses or organizations that might be interested in your ongoing projects.
3-2. Create networking opportunities.
Showing up at community events and making your presence known with local business organizations is a way to get your project or organization noticed without doing a lot of extra work.
Focus on community events or business networking functions that have something to do with your project or organization. For example, if you're raising money to build an animal shelter, you might go to community dog shows or talk to local pet stores and dog groomers.
Don't hassle people for donations at an event – they'll feel as though you are putting them on the spot, and you'll leave a bad impression. Instead, simply tell them about your project or organization and offer to send them more information if they're interested.
3-3. Seek out advice.
People often love when they're treated like an expert and asked for advice. If your project or organization needs any assistance, or if you have a problem you can't figure out, asking a business leader is also a good way to drum up support.
For example, suppose you've asked a local real estate agent for advice on finding a suitable building for an animal shelter you want to build. The real estate agent points you to a few great locations. Let them know you still need donations. Since the agent has helped, they may now feel they have a vested interest in seeing your project succeed.
3-4. Maintain a continuing relationship.
Even if you were only soliciting a donation for a single, short-term project, keep in touch with the business owner or representative. This communicates that their donation is appreciated.
Send out an email newsletter updating everyone who donated on the progress of your project, or the status of your organization. Talk about your accomplishments and how the donations are being used.
You also can send birthday or holiday cards to your donors to express appreciation. Treat your donors – both individuals and businesses – as though they are part of the family.
Patronize the business and encourage others to do the same. Tell people to let the business owner know that you sent them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Your Approach\\n1-1. Decide which businesses you want to ask.\\nThe businesses you want to ask for donations are going to depend on the type of charity or other project you're raising money for. Focus on businesses that would benefit in some way from the donation.\\nGiving the business a good reason to donate makes it more likely that they will do so. For example, if you're raising money for a local little league team, focus on small businesses that are owned by people who live in your community, so they can get some advertising out of the sponsorship.\\n1-2. Do your research.\\nBefore you even begin to approach a business for donations, you must learn all you can about the business and the types of organizations to which that business normally donates.\\nLearn more about the business itself and what it offers to the community, so you can determine what benefits the donation would offer to the business.\\nIf the business has a website, you may be able to find out more about the business and its donation strategies and policies there. For small local businesses, do a general internet search for local news websites or community interest blogs.\\n1-3. Identify the individual in charge of business donations.\\nIf you send a generic solicitation for donations, it likely will get thrown in the trash and never read. To make sure the business takes your request seriously and considers it, address your request to a specific person.\\nIf you're approaching a larger corporation, you typically can find the name of this person by visiting the corporation's website or calling a general business information number.\\nWith small, locally owned businesses, there may not be a specific person (other than the owner) who is in charge of donations. Just call or stop by the business and ask.\\n1-4. Adapt your approach to the individual.\\nOnce you have the name of someone who is in charge of the donations for the business, do some research on them. Assume their personal opinion will hold some sway on whether the business makes a donation.\\nFor example, suppose you are raising funds to build a new no-kill animal shelter in your community. If you find out the person in charge of donations for a business adopted three dogs from a shelter, you can appeal to their love of animals to stoke their interest in your project.\\n1-5. Offer something in return.\\nWhen you're approaching a business to ask for a donation, think like a business rather than thinking like a charitable individual. Businesses don't donate to organizations or charitable projects for entirely altruistic reasons.\\nTypically, a business will make a donation because they want to improve their image or standing in the community and ultimately attract more customers. Look for ways in which a donation to your organization or project could accomplish this.\\nFor example, if you're seeking donations for a little league team, you may offer a sponsorship package that includes placing the business's logo on the kids' uniforms. This provides the business with advertising and also encourages the families of kids on the team to shop at that business.\\n1-6. Practice your approach.\\nIf you want to get a business donation, you typically want to present your request in person. It typically is much more difficult for someone to decline a donation request when that request is made in person.\\nCraft a short speech lasting a couple of minutes, and memorize it. Practice in the mirror or in front of friends. They can give you pointers to help improve your delivery.\\nPractice your speech until giving it becomes second nature. When you speak to the business owner, you don't want it to sound like you're reciting something you've just memorized.\\n2. Composing a Letter\\n2-1. Search for templates.\\nBefore you schedule a meeting with a business owner or representative to ask for a donation, send a letter (through mail or email) that introduces them to your organization or project and explains that you want to request a donation.\\nIf you're not comfortable crafting a letter on your own, you can do a general internet search for sample letters or templates. Use them as guides for your own letter, but be careful copying them word-for-word – they may include information that doesn't apply to your situation.\\nSearch for \\\"business donation query letter\\\" or \\\"nonprofit donation letter\\\" and download or print several that you can use. That way you can compare and contrast to find the right wording for the needs of your particular project.\\n2-2. Create an outline.\\nBefore you draft your letter, you can use a basic outline to organize your thoughts and make sure you're including all the information that is important for the reader to know before they consider making a donation.\\nWorking from an outline rather than simply sitting down and writing your letter also will keep you from rambling and help ensure that your letter is direct and to the point.\\nBusiness owners are busy. Don't write more than a page, and try to stick to the basic facts. You can persuade them once you meet them in person.\\nOutline your letter even if you are planning on sending it as an email. You still want what you write to be concise and well-organized.\\n2-3. Start with a query letter.\\nA short, simple query letter lets the business owner or representative know a little about your nonprofit project, and that you are contacting them to solicit a donation. This way they aren't caught off guard.\\nStart your letter by introducing yourself, and include a sentence or two about your organization or project. Then state that you want the business to be involved. Explain how a donation could benefit that particular business.\\nUse the information you gained from your research to include a personal appeal to the person who will be reading your letter.\\nClose your letter by requesting a meeting to discuss the opportunity further, and thank the person for their time and consideration.\\n2-4. Schedule a meeting.\\nAfter you've sent your letter to the business, give the owner or representative a few days to read it and contact you on their own. If you don't hear from them within a week or so, call the business to follow up.\\nWhen you call the business, ask to speak to the person to whom you sent the letter. When speaking, be cordial. Explain who you are and ask them about the letter. Be cordial and let them know if the matter is time-sensitive.\\nTry to schedule your meeting within a week or two of the time when you sent your letter. You want your project to remain fresh in the recipient's mind.\\nIf you sent your letter through email, it is appropriate so send another email (or simply reply to your original email) to follow up.\\n2-5. Meet with the business owner or representative.\\nWhen you show up at the business to pitch your organization or project and request a donation, be conservative and respectful. You want to come off as someone they can trust with their money.\\nAt the meeting, deliver your prepared speech. Take any questions the business owner or representative might have. Stress the benefits donating to your cause will provide to the business.\\nIf you're asked any questions to which you don't know the answer, offer to find the answer and get back to them rather than hedging or making something up on the fly. Don't be afraid to say you don't know – a businessperson will appreciate your honesty and initiative to find the answer for them.\\n2-6. Follow up with a prospect letter.\\nAfter you've met with the business owner or representative, get their sponsorship pledge commitment in writing. Even if they wrote you a check at your meeting, you still want to get it in writing.\\nIn your prospect letter, you want to outline the specifics regarding the amount of money the business has pledged to donate, and what they will get in exchange for that donation (such as advertising).\\nMake a copy of your signed letter for your organization's records before you send it. Attach a copy of the business's check or a receipt for the business's donation to the letter.\\nYou can send this letter via email, but in most cases you'll also want to send a paper letter for records.\\n2-7. Accept \\\"no\\\" graciously.\\nYou may run into a situation where the owner tells you that the business is not making any donations at this time. Thank them for their time and offer contact information in the event they change their mind.\\n3. Making Connections\\n3-1. Establish a social media presence.\\nSocial media pages can help you drum up support for your project or organization. You also can advertise the donations of businesses who have pledged their support.\\nSeek connections with local businesses that your research indicates are in tune with the goals for your project or your organization at large.\\nAsk individual connections to point you to other businesses or organizations that might be interested in your ongoing projects.\\n3-2. Create networking opportunities.\\nShowing up at community events and making your presence known with local business organizations is a way to get your project or organization noticed without doing a lot of extra work.\\nFocus on community events or business networking functions that have something to do with your project or organization. For example, if you're raising money to build an animal shelter, you might go to community dog shows or talk to local pet stores and dog groomers.\\nDon't hassle people for donations at an event – they'll feel as though you are putting them on the spot, and you'll leave a bad impression. Instead, simply tell them about your project or organization and offer to send them more information if they're interested.\\n3-3. Seek out advice.\\nPeople often love when they're treated like an expert and asked for advice. If your project or organization needs any assistance, or if you have a problem you can't figure out, asking a business leader is also a good way to drum up support.\\nFor example, suppose you've asked a local real estate agent for advice on finding a suitable building for an animal shelter you want to build. The real estate agent points you to a few great locations. Let them know you still need donations. Since the agent has helped, they may now feel they have a vested interest in seeing your project succeed.\\n3-4. Maintain a continuing relationship.\\nEven if you were only soliciting a donation for a single, short-term project, keep in touch with the business owner or representative. This communicates that their donation is appreciated.\\nSend out an email newsletter updating everyone who donated on the progress of your project, or the status of your organization. Talk about your accomplishments and how the donations are being used.\\nYou also can send birthday or holiday cards to your donors to express appreciation. Treat your donors – both individuals and businesses – as though they are part of the family.\\nPatronize the business and encourage others to do the same. Tell people to let the business owner know that you sent them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you work for a nonprofit or are just trying to raise money for a little league team or a school fundraiser, asking for donations can be an intimidating prospect. Asking businesses may seem even more intimidating, especially if you think your approach should be different than the way you ask individuals. But in reality, you should ask businesses for donations the same way you would ask individuals. Tailor your approach to the person you're asking, craft a formal letter, and meet with them in person to discuss your project and the reasons their business should donate.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide which businesses you want to ask.\", \"描述\": \"The businesses you want to ask for donations are going to depend on the type of charity or other project you're raising money for. Focus on businesses that would benefit in some way from the donation.\\nGiving the business a good reason to donate makes it more likely that they will do so. For example, if you're raising money for a local little league team, focus on small businesses that are owned by people who live in your community, so they can get some advertising out of the sponsorship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do your research.\", \"描述\": \"Before you even begin to approach a business for donations, you must learn all you can about the business and the types of organizations to which that business normally donates.\\nLearn more about the business itself and what it offers to the community, so you can determine what benefits the donation would offer to the business.\\nIf the business has a website, you may be able to find out more about the business and its donation strategies and policies there. For small local businesses, do a general internet search for local news websites or community interest blogs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify the individual in charge of business donations.\", \"描述\": \"If you send a generic solicitation for donations, it likely will get thrown in the trash and never read. To make sure the business takes your request seriously and considers it, address your request to a specific person.\\nIf you're approaching a larger corporation, you typically can find the name of this person by visiting the corporation's website or calling a general business information number.\\nWith small, locally owned businesses, there may not be a specific person (other than the owner) who is in charge of donations. Just call or stop by the business and ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adapt your approach to the individual.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have the name of someone who is in charge of the donations for the business, do some research on them. Assume their personal opinion will hold some sway on whether the business makes a donation.\\nFor example, suppose you are raising funds to build a new no-kill animal shelter in your community. If you find out the person in charge of donations for a business adopted three dogs from a shelter, you can appeal to their love of animals to stoke their interest in your project.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Offer something in return.\", \"描述\": \"When you're approaching a business to ask for a donation, think like a business rather than thinking like a charitable individual. Businesses don't donate to organizations or charitable projects for entirely altruistic reasons.\\nTypically, a business will make a donation because they want to improve their image or standing in the community and ultimately attract more customers. Look for ways in which a donation to your organization or project could accomplish this.\\nFor example, if you're seeking donations for a little league team, you may offer a sponsorship package that includes placing the business's logo on the kids' uniforms. This provides the business with advertising and also encourages the families of kids on the team to shop at that business.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice your approach.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to get a business donation, you typically want to present your request in person. It typically is much more difficult for someone to decline a donation request when that request is made in person.\\nCraft a short speech lasting a couple of minutes, and memorize it. Practice in the mirror or in front of friends. They can give you pointers to help improve your delivery.\\nPractice your speech until giving it becomes second nature. When you speak to the business owner, you don't want it to sound like you're reciting something you've just memorized.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Composing a Letter\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Search for templates.\", \"描述\": \"Before you schedule a meeting with a business owner or representative to ask for a donation, send a letter (through mail or email) that introduces them to your organization or project and explains that you want to request a donation.\\nIf you're not comfortable crafting a letter on your own, you can do a general internet search for sample letters or templates. Use them as guides for your own letter, but be careful copying them word-for-word – they may include information that doesn't apply to your situation.\\nSearch for \\\"business donation query letter\\\" or \\\"nonprofit donation letter\\\" and download or print several that you can use. That way you can compare and contrast to find the right wording for the needs of your particular project.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create an outline.\", \"描述\": \"Before you draft your letter, you can use a basic outline to organize your thoughts and make sure you're including all the information that is important for the reader to know before they consider making a donation.\\nWorking from an outline rather than simply sitting down and writing your letter also will keep you from rambling and help ensure that your letter is direct and to the point.\\nBusiness owners are busy. Don't write more than a page, and try to stick to the basic facts. You can persuade them once you meet them in person.\\nOutline your letter even if you are planning on sending it as an email. You still want what you write to be concise and well-organized.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start with a query letter.\", \"描述\": \"A short, simple query letter lets the business owner or representative know a little about your nonprofit project, and that you are contacting them to solicit a donation. This way they aren't caught off guard.\\nStart your letter by introducing yourself, and include a sentence or two about your organization or project. Then state that you want the business to be involved. Explain how a donation could benefit that particular business.\\nUse the information you gained from your research to include a personal appeal to the person who will be reading your letter.\\nClose your letter by requesting a meeting to discuss the opportunity further, and thank the person for their time and consideration.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Schedule a meeting.\", \"描述\": \"After you've sent your letter to the business, give the owner or representative a few days to read it and contact you on their own. If you don't hear from them within a week or so, call the business to follow up.\\nWhen you call the business, ask to speak to the person to whom you sent the letter. When speaking, be cordial. Explain who you are and ask them about the letter. Be cordial and let them know if the matter is time-sensitive.\\nTry to schedule your meeting within a week or two of the time when you sent your letter. You want your project to remain fresh in the recipient's mind.\\nIf you sent your letter through email, it is appropriate so send another email (or simply reply to your original email) to follow up.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meet with the business owner or representative.\", \"描述\": \"When you show up at the business to pitch your organization or project and request a donation, be conservative and respectful. You want to come off as someone they can trust with their money.\\nAt the meeting, deliver your prepared speech. Take any questions the business owner or representative might have. Stress the benefits donating to your cause will provide to the business.\\nIf you're asked any questions to which you don't know the answer, offer to find the answer and get back to them rather than hedging or making something up on the fly. Don't be afraid to say you don't know – a businessperson will appreciate your honesty and initiative to find the answer for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Follow up with a prospect letter.\", \"描述\": \"After you've met with the business owner or representative, get their sponsorship pledge commitment in writing. Even if they wrote you a check at your meeting, you still want to get it in writing.\\nIn your prospect letter, you want to outline the specifics regarding the amount of money the business has pledged to donate, and what they will get in exchange for that donation (such as advertising).\\nMake a copy of your signed letter for your organization's records before you send it. Attach a copy of the business's check or a receipt for the business's donation to the letter.\\nYou can send this letter via email, but in most cases you'll also want to send a paper letter for records.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Accept \\\"no\\\" graciously.\", \"描述\": \"You may run into a situation where the owner tells you that the business is not making any donations at this time. Thank them for their time and offer contact information in the event they change their mind.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Connections\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Establish a social media presence.\", \"描述\": \"Social media pages can help you drum up support for your project or organization. You also can advertise the donations of businesses who have pledged their support.\\nSeek connections with local businesses that your research indicates are in tune with the goals for your project or your organization at large.\\nAsk individual connections to point you to other businesses or organizations that might be interested in your ongoing projects.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create networking opportunities.\", \"描述\": \"Showing up at community events and making your presence known with local business organizations is a way to get your project or organization noticed without doing a lot of extra work.\\nFocus on community events or business networking functions that have something to do with your project or organization. For example, if you're raising money to build an animal shelter, you might go to community dog shows or talk to local pet stores and dog groomers.\\nDon't hassle people for donations at an event – they'll feel as though you are putting them on the spot, and you'll leave a bad impression. Instead, simply tell them about your project or organization and offer to send them more information if they're interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seek out advice.\", \"描述\": \"People often love when they're treated like an expert and asked for advice. If your project or organization needs any assistance, or if you have a problem you can't figure out, asking a business leader is also a good way to drum up support.\\nFor example, suppose you've asked a local real estate agent for advice on finding a suitable building for an animal shelter you want to build. The real estate agent points you to a few great locations. Let them know you still need donations. Since the agent has helped, they may now feel they have a vested interest in seeing your project succeed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain a continuing relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you were only soliciting a donation for a single, short-term project, keep in touch with the business owner or representative. This communicates that their donation is appreciated.\\nSend out an email newsletter updating everyone who donated on the progress of your project, or the status of your organization. Talk about your accomplishments and how the donations are being used.\\nYou also can send birthday or holiday cards to your donors to express appreciation. Treat your donors – both individuals and businesses – as though they are part of the family.\\nPatronize the business and encourage others to do the same. Tell people to let the business owner know that you sent them.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,443 | How to Ask Coworkers for Donations | 1. Complying with Workplace Policies
1-1. Check with your company regarding asking for donations.
Your human resources representative is the best person to ask, but your boss can also be a good resource. Some companies do not allow employees to ask for donations, while others may restrict how it’s done. It’s best to know these rules before you get started.
For example, many companies restrict raising funds for political causes. Additionally, companies often require you to get permission before you start collecting funds.
You could say, “Next month I’m doing a walk to raise money for cancer and would like to ask for pledges. Are there any policies about asking for donations that I need to know about?”
You may find that your HR rep or boss is willing to help you spread the word about your cause, which could help you collect more money!
1-2. Ask if your company matches contributions.
Some companies encourage employee giving by matching donated funds. This could help you gain more money for your cause and build a better relationship with your company. Check your company to find out what you need to do to qualify for matching funds, if they’re available.
Ask your HR rep or supervisor, “Does the company ever match employee donations? What kind of giving program do we have here?”
If you’ve noticed materials in your office related to company matching, bring them up directly. Say, “There’s a flyer in the breakroom about a company matching program. Would that apply to my fundraiser for autism research?”
1-3. Share your campaign’s success with your workplace.
Make your campaign a joint effort so that your coworkers and employer feel involved. Give them credit for helping you raise funds, and let your company promote the effort to show that they, and their employees, value a culture of giving.
For example, you could put up a poster to track how much money you're raising.
If you're raising funds under your name, you could instead list your company name on the form.
If your coworkers do something to help raise more funds, such as attend a walk, collect canned goods, or help you distribute items sold through a fundraiser, take photos and ask to post them in the break room.
While you don’t want to give credit when it isn’t due, inviting others to share in your success could help you raise additional funds and make a bigger impact for your cause.
2. Preparing Your Donation Pitch
2-1. Practice asking before going to your coworkers.
Preparing a quick pitch ahead of time will make it easier to ask when the time comes. Write out the key points you want to make, including the amount you’re trying to raise. Then recite your pitch a few times out loud.
Try standing in front of your mirror or filming yourself giving the pitch. This will help you solidify what you want to say and feel more confident.
2-2. Be direct and specific about what you want.
It’s normal to feel awkward when asking for donations, but being vague makes it harder to get a “yes.” It also makes things more awkward for the person you’re asking because they don’t know what it is you need. Instead, tell them what the cause is, that you’re collecting donations, and how much you need.
You could say, “My aunt just passed away from cancer, so I’m raising funds for the American Cancer Society. I’m seeking donations of $5, but anything will help.”
2-3. Make them feel like part of the cause.
People are more likely to donate if they have a stake in the cause. While not everyone will have the same experiences, it’s still possible to make them feel like part of your effort.
Relate the cause to something you know they’ve experienced. Say, "How is your dog, Toby? I know you got him from the shelter two years ago and wanted to see if you'd like to donate to help the shelter repair the dog run."
Explain how donations are used, giving them credit for making those things happen. You could say, "Your donation will be used to buy coats for the children at Girl's Haven. With your help, a child will stay warm this winter."
If it’s possible, give those who donate something that’s connected to the cause, like a sticker, magnet, or photo.
2-4. Share why the cause is important to you.
If you can, tell them a personal story that helps them understand your motives. Showing your personal connection to the cause can help motivate your coworkers to give.
Say, “My nephew was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old, and thanks to this nonprofit, he’s been able to attend mainstream classes at a public school. He’s made friends and even participates on a Little League team. I’m raising funds so that other kids can get the same resources that helped him achieve so much. Would you be interested in helping?”
3. Selecting Whom to Ask
3-1. Ask people you’ve donated to in the past.
People who you’ve supported in the past are likely to support you. For example, you may have bought baseball candy from a coworker, which may prompt them to buy Girl Scout cookies from you. Talk with these people first.
You could say, “I’m collecting donations to help my daughter’s all-star team travel to the state championship, and I knew that you’d understand since last year you collected funds for your son’s soccer team. Would you be interested in buying a candy bar to help the team?”
If they say "no," don't press the issue further. Say, "I understand, just let me know if you change your mind. The fundraiser ends on March 21st."
3-2. Choose people you have a good relationship with.
People are more likely to support your cause if they know you. It’s easier to solicit funds from people you have a prior relationship with rather than those you barely know. It’s not a good idea to make a pitch for donations during the first meeting you have with a coworker.
3-3. Select people you know share an interest in the cause.
If you know someone supports your cause, pitching to them will be easier. They may even be willing to help you raise money.
For example, you may know that a few people in your office are cancer survivors, who may help support the American Cancer Society.
4. Making Your Pitch
4-1. Choose the right time and place to ask for donations.
Don't disturb your coworkers during a work task or inject your donation pitch into an important meeting. People will be more open to donating if you talk to them during a down moment of the day, such as in the break room, over lunch, or around the water cooler. If you do need to ask people during the actual work day, watch for times that are less busy or when your coworker is preparing to shift between tasks.
Watch for cues that they are busy, such as typing, speaking to someone else, reading documents, engaging in a task, or carrying their briefcase out to a meeting.
Ask the person if they have a moment. Say, "I wanted to check in with you about something, but it isn't urgent. Are you free right now, or would later be better?"
While a large work meeting might seem like a great time to get your message to everyone, don't distract from company business with your pitch.
4-2. Help your coworkers understand why they should choose your cause.
It’s unlikely that you’re the only one asking for donations, so it’s important to set your cause apart. Although you shouldn’t disparage other causes, give a few reasons why yours is a good choice. You could point out the services your organization provides, their service record, or the need for additional support for your cause.
You could say, “Every year, more children are diagnosed with autism, but there is only one local nonprofit to serve them. If you donate today, all of it will go to help the children.”
Alternatively, “95% of donations to this nonprofit are spent directly on research. With your help, we’ll be closer to the cure.”
4-3. Tell them what their donation will provide.
For example, will the funds go toward research, programs, or directly to individuals? This can help your coworkers view making a donation as providing a specific good or service. Since society is built on give-and-take, people are more likely to give if they feel like they’re getting something in return, even if it’s indirect.
Say, “Your donation will help provide feminine care products to women in a domestic violence shelter,” “These funds will help researchers pursue a cure for cancer,” or “Any money you donate today will go directly toward the cost of playground equipment for special needs children.”
4-4. Set up an event to encourage donations.
You could provide treats to promote your cause in the office breakroom, along with information about your cause. You could also invite coworkers to a special lunch or dinner event. If your company participates in the collection, they may let you have a special office meeting.
For example, you could give out heart shaped cookies along with a pamphlet from the American Heart Association.
The goal of the event is to get coworkers to come to you, which allows you to deliver your pitch.
4-5. Pass an envelope around the office for anonymous donations.
If asking for donations in your office is too stressful or causes conflict, you could instead pass around an envelope. Simply affix a list with everyone’s name to the front of the envelope, then encourage everyone to pass it around. When a person gets the envelope, they check themselves off the list, whether or not they put money in.
This gives everyone a chance to contribute money but doesn’t make people feel obligated to give.
However, you should only try this if you trust your coworkers not to take the donations given by those before them.
5. Following up After Asking for Donations
5-1. Thank the people who contribute to your cause.
At the minimum, you should give a verbal “thank you” to those who give. It’s also a good idea to give out thank you notes.
You could say, "Thank you so much for giving last week. In total, we raised $2,000 for new park equipment."
Make sure that you don’t shame people who could not give. For example, don't send out an email to the entire workplace thanking those who gave. Keep the messages private.
5-2. Give your coworkers a way to say “no” without feeling bad.
There are many reasons why people will not be able to give. They may be low on funds, they could have upcoming obligations, or they may just have different values than you do. To maintain a pleasant working environment, it’s important to give these people a way to say “no” without things becoming awkward.
Always end your pitch with a question that allows the person to give a clear "yes" or "no," such "Would you be interested in donating today?"
Be prepared to graciously accept a "no" response. For example, say, "Thanks so much for hearing me out today."
If the person doesn't immediately answer, step in and shift the conversation back to work topics. Say, "Don't worry about giving an answer right now. I totally understand if you can't give. If you come by my office later, I'll give you those numbers for new account."
5-3. Respect that some coworkers cannot afford to give to every cause.
No matter how important the cause, you are likely to get several "no"s. This is normal and okay. Don’t take it personally if some people can’t give, even if they’ve given to others.
Remember that it’s not personal.
Don’t bring up prior collections in an effort to shame the person into giving.
5-4. Avoid keeping records of who donated whenever possible.
This can make people feel very uncomfortable, especially if they can’t afford to give. For example, some people solicit donations via email, which allows them to see who responds and who doesn’t. Instead, try to talk to people in person.
In some cases, you’ll need to track donations because the nonprofit you’re contributing to requires it. For example, you may need to track donations for an AIDS walk. If this is the case, keep the records as private as possible so that people don’t feel on the spot. You could cover people's names with post-it notes or another sheet of paper. It's also a good idea to keep the sheet in a folder or envelope.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:47:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Complying with Workplace Policies\\n1-1. Check with your company regarding asking for donations.\\nYour human resources representative is the best person to ask, but your boss can also be a good resource. Some companies do not allow employees to ask for donations, while others may restrict how it’s done. It’s best to know these rules before you get started.\\nFor example, many companies restrict raising funds for political causes. Additionally, companies often require you to get permission before you start collecting funds.\\nYou could say, “Next month I’m doing a walk to raise money for cancer and would like to ask for pledges. Are there any policies about asking for donations that I need to know about?”\\nYou may find that your HR rep or boss is willing to help you spread the word about your cause, which could help you collect more money!\\n1-2. Ask if your company matches contributions.\\nSome companies encourage employee giving by matching donated funds. This could help you gain more money for your cause and build a better relationship with your company. Check your company to find out what you need to do to qualify for matching funds, if they’re available.\\nAsk your HR rep or supervisor, “Does the company ever match employee donations? What kind of giving program do we have here?”\\nIf you’ve noticed materials in your office related to company matching, bring them up directly. Say, “There’s a flyer in the breakroom about a company matching program. Would that apply to my fundraiser for autism research?”\\n1-3. Share your campaign’s success with your workplace.\\nMake your campaign a joint effort so that your coworkers and employer feel involved. Give them credit for helping you raise funds, and let your company promote the effort to show that they, and their employees, value a culture of giving.\\nFor example, you could put up a poster to track how much money you're raising.\\nIf you're raising funds under your name, you could instead list your company name on the form.\\nIf your coworkers do something to help raise more funds, such as attend a walk, collect canned goods, or help you distribute items sold through a fundraiser, take photos and ask to post them in the break room.\\nWhile you don’t want to give credit when it isn’t due, inviting others to share in your success could help you raise additional funds and make a bigger impact for your cause.\\n2. Preparing Your Donation Pitch\\n2-1. Practice asking before going to your coworkers.\\nPreparing a quick pitch ahead of time will make it easier to ask when the time comes. Write out the key points you want to make, including the amount you’re trying to raise. Then recite your pitch a few times out loud.\\nTry standing in front of your mirror or filming yourself giving the pitch. This will help you solidify what you want to say and feel more confident.\\n2-2. Be direct and specific about what you want.\\nIt’s normal to feel awkward when asking for donations, but being vague makes it harder to get a “yes.” It also makes things more awkward for the person you’re asking because they don’t know what it is you need. Instead, tell them what the cause is, that you’re collecting donations, and how much you need.\\nYou could say, “My aunt just passed away from cancer, so I’m raising funds for the American Cancer Society. I’m seeking donations of $5, but anything will help.”\\n2-3. Make them feel like part of the cause.\\nPeople are more likely to donate if they have a stake in the cause. While not everyone will have the same experiences, it’s still possible to make them feel like part of your effort.\\nRelate the cause to something you know they’ve experienced. Say, \\\"How is your dog, Toby? I know you got him from the shelter two years ago and wanted to see if you'd like to donate to help the shelter repair the dog run.\\\"\\nExplain how donations are used, giving them credit for making those things happen. You could say, \\\"Your donation will be used to buy coats for the children at Girl's Haven. With your help, a child will stay warm this winter.\\\"\\nIf it’s possible, give those who donate something that’s connected to the cause, like a sticker, magnet, or photo.\\n2-4. Share why the cause is important to you.\\nIf you can, tell them a personal story that helps them understand your motives. Showing your personal connection to the cause can help motivate your coworkers to give.\\nSay, “My nephew was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old, and thanks to this nonprofit, he’s been able to attend mainstream classes at a public school. He’s made friends and even participates on a Little League team. I’m raising funds so that other kids can get the same resources that helped him achieve so much. Would you be interested in helping?”\\n3. Selecting Whom to Ask\\n3-1. Ask people you’ve donated to in the past.\\nPeople who you’ve supported in the past are likely to support you. For example, you may have bought baseball candy from a coworker, which may prompt them to buy Girl Scout cookies from you. Talk with these people first.\\nYou could say, “I’m collecting donations to help my daughter’s all-star team travel to the state championship, and I knew that you’d understand since last year you collected funds for your son’s soccer team. Would you be interested in buying a candy bar to help the team?”\\nIf they say \\\"no,\\\" don't press the issue further. Say, \\\"I understand, just let me know if you change your mind. The fundraiser ends on March 21st.\\\"\\n3-2. Choose people you have a good relationship with.\\nPeople are more likely to support your cause if they know you. It’s easier to solicit funds from people you have a prior relationship with rather than those you barely know. It’s not a good idea to make a pitch for donations during the first meeting you have with a coworker.\\n3-3. Select people you know share an interest in the cause.\\nIf you know someone supports your cause, pitching to them will be easier. They may even be willing to help you raise money.\\nFor example, you may know that a few people in your office are cancer survivors, who may help support the American Cancer Society.\\n4. Making Your Pitch\\n4-1. Choose the right time and place to ask for donations.\\nDon't disturb your coworkers during a work task or inject your donation pitch into an important meeting. People will be more open to donating if you talk to them during a down moment of the day, such as in the break room, over lunch, or around the water cooler. If you do need to ask people during the actual work day, watch for times that are less busy or when your coworker is preparing to shift between tasks.\\nWatch for cues that they are busy, such as typing, speaking to someone else, reading documents, engaging in a task, or carrying their briefcase out to a meeting.\\nAsk the person if they have a moment. Say, \\\"I wanted to check in with you about something, but it isn't urgent. Are you free right now, or would later be better?\\\"\\nWhile a large work meeting might seem like a great time to get your message to everyone, don't distract from company business with your pitch.\\n4-2. Help your coworkers understand why they should choose your cause.\\nIt’s unlikely that you’re the only one asking for donations, so it’s important to set your cause apart. Although you shouldn’t disparage other causes, give a few reasons why yours is a good choice. You could point out the services your organization provides, their service record, or the need for additional support for your cause.\\nYou could say, “Every year, more children are diagnosed with autism, but there is only one local nonprofit to serve them. If you donate today, all of it will go to help the children.”\\nAlternatively, “95% of donations to this nonprofit are spent directly on research. With your help, we’ll be closer to the cure.”\\n4-3. Tell them what their donation will provide.\\nFor example, will the funds go toward research, programs, or directly to individuals? This can help your coworkers view making a donation as providing a specific good or service. Since society is built on give-and-take, people are more likely to give if they feel like they’re getting something in return, even if it’s indirect.\\nSay, “Your donation will help provide feminine care products to women in a domestic violence shelter,” “These funds will help researchers pursue a cure for cancer,” or “Any money you donate today will go directly toward the cost of playground equipment for special needs children.”\\n4-4. Set up an event to encourage donations.\\nYou could provide treats to promote your cause in the office breakroom, along with information about your cause. You could also invite coworkers to a special lunch or dinner event. If your company participates in the collection, they may let you have a special office meeting.\\nFor example, you could give out heart shaped cookies along with a pamphlet from the American Heart Association.\\nThe goal of the event is to get coworkers to come to you, which allows you to deliver your pitch.\\n4-5. Pass an envelope around the office for anonymous donations.\\nIf asking for donations in your office is too stressful or causes conflict, you could instead pass around an envelope. Simply affix a list with everyone’s name to the front of the envelope, then encourage everyone to pass it around. When a person gets the envelope, they check themselves off the list, whether or not they put money in.\\nThis gives everyone a chance to contribute money but doesn’t make people feel obligated to give.\\nHowever, you should only try this if you trust your coworkers not to take the donations given by those before them.\\n5. Following up After Asking for Donations\\n5-1. Thank the people who contribute to your cause.\\nAt the minimum, you should give a verbal “thank you” to those who give. It’s also a good idea to give out thank you notes.\\nYou could say, \\\"Thank you so much for giving last week. In total, we raised $2,000 for new park equipment.\\\"\\nMake sure that you don’t shame people who could not give. For example, don't send out an email to the entire workplace thanking those who gave. Keep the messages private.\\n5-2. Give your coworkers a way to say “no” without feeling bad.\\nThere are many reasons why people will not be able to give. They may be low on funds, they could have upcoming obligations, or they may just have different values than you do. To maintain a pleasant working environment, it’s important to give these people a way to say “no” without things becoming awkward.\\nAlways end your pitch with a question that allows the person to give a clear \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no,\\\" such \\\"Would you be interested in donating today?\\\"\\nBe prepared to graciously accept a \\\"no\\\" response. For example, say, \\\"Thanks so much for hearing me out today.\\\"\\nIf the person doesn't immediately answer, step in and shift the conversation back to work topics. Say, \\\"Don't worry about giving an answer right now. I totally understand if you can't give. If you come by my office later, I'll give you those numbers for new account.\\\"\\n5-3. Respect that some coworkers cannot afford to give to every cause.\\nNo matter how important the cause, you are likely to get several \\\"no\\\"s. This is normal and okay. Don’t take it personally if some people can’t give, even if they’ve given to others.\\nRemember that it’s not personal.\\nDon’t bring up prior collections in an effort to shame the person into giving.\\n5-4. Avoid keeping records of who donated whenever possible.\\nThis can make people feel very uncomfortable, especially if they can’t afford to give. For example, some people solicit donations via email, which allows them to see who responds and who doesn’t. Instead, try to talk to people in person.\\nIn some cases, you’ll need to track donations because the nonprofit you’re contributing to requires it. For example, you may need to track donations for an AIDS walk. If this is the case, keep the records as private as possible so that people don’t feel on the spot. You could cover people's names with post-it notes or another sheet of paper. It's also a good idea to keep the sheet in a folder or envelope.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Collecting donations for a cause you care about is a worthwhile activity, but it can also be intimidating. Coworkers can be a great resource for collecting funds if you know how to ask. First, you’ll want to make sure you’re complying with your company’s policies on donations. Then you’ll want to make your pitch and follow up with people. Fortunately, there are also great ways to choose whom to ask. Soon, you’ll have plenty of donations for your cause!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Complying with Workplace Policies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check with your company regarding asking for donations.\", \"描述\": \"Your human resources representative is the best person to ask, but your boss can also be a good resource. Some companies do not allow employees to ask for donations, while others may restrict how it’s done. It’s best to know these rules before you get started.\\nFor example, many companies restrict raising funds for political causes. Additionally, companies often require you to get permission before you start collecting funds.\\nYou could say, “Next month I’m doing a walk to raise money for cancer and would like to ask for pledges. Are there any policies about asking for donations that I need to know about?”\\nYou may find that your HR rep or boss is willing to help you spread the word about your cause, which could help you collect more money!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask if your company matches contributions.\", \"描述\": \"Some companies encourage employee giving by matching donated funds. This could help you gain more money for your cause and build a better relationship with your company. Check your company to find out what you need to do to qualify for matching funds, if they’re available.\\nAsk your HR rep or supervisor, “Does the company ever match employee donations? What kind of giving program do we have here?”\\nIf you’ve noticed materials in your office related to company matching, bring them up directly. Say, “There’s a flyer in the breakroom about a company matching program. Would that apply to my fundraiser for autism research?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Share your campaign’s success with your workplace.\", \"描述\": \"Make your campaign a joint effort so that your coworkers and employer feel involved. Give them credit for helping you raise funds, and let your company promote the effort to show that they, and their employees, value a culture of giving.\\nFor example, you could put up a poster to track how much money you're raising.\\nIf you're raising funds under your name, you could instead list your company name on the form.\\nIf your coworkers do something to help raise more funds, such as attend a walk, collect canned goods, or help you distribute items sold through a fundraiser, take photos and ask to post them in the break room.\\nWhile you don’t want to give credit when it isn’t due, inviting others to share in your success could help you raise additional funds and make a bigger impact for your cause.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing Your Donation Pitch\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice asking before going to your coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"Preparing a quick pitch ahead of time will make it easier to ask when the time comes. Write out the key points you want to make, including the amount you’re trying to raise. Then recite your pitch a few times out loud.\\nTry standing in front of your mirror or filming yourself giving the pitch. This will help you solidify what you want to say and feel more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be direct and specific about what you want.\", \"描述\": \"It’s normal to feel awkward when asking for donations, but being vague makes it harder to get a “yes.” It also makes things more awkward for the person you’re asking because they don’t know what it is you need. Instead, tell them what the cause is, that you’re collecting donations, and how much you need.\\nYou could say, “My aunt just passed away from cancer, so I’m raising funds for the American Cancer Society. I’m seeking donations of $5, but anything will help.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make them feel like part of the cause.\", \"描述\": \"People are more likely to donate if they have a stake in the cause. While not everyone will have the same experiences, it’s still possible to make them feel like part of your effort.\\nRelate the cause to something you know they’ve experienced. Say, \\\"How is your dog, Toby? I know you got him from the shelter two years ago and wanted to see if you'd like to donate to help the shelter repair the dog run.\\\"\\nExplain how donations are used, giving them credit for making those things happen. You could say, \\\"Your donation will be used to buy coats for the children at Girl's Haven. With your help, a child will stay warm this winter.\\\"\\nIf it’s possible, give those who donate something that’s connected to the cause, like a sticker, magnet, or photo.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Share why the cause is important to you.\", \"描述\": \"If you can, tell them a personal story that helps them understand your motives. Showing your personal connection to the cause can help motivate your coworkers to give.\\nSay, “My nephew was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old, and thanks to this nonprofit, he’s been able to attend mainstream classes at a public school. He’s made friends and even participates on a Little League team. I’m raising funds so that other kids can get the same resources that helped him achieve so much. Would you be interested in helping?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Selecting Whom to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask people you’ve donated to in the past.\", \"描述\": \"People who you’ve supported in the past are likely to support you. For example, you may have bought baseball candy from a coworker, which may prompt them to buy Girl Scout cookies from you. Talk with these people first.\\nYou could say, “I’m collecting donations to help my daughter’s all-star team travel to the state championship, and I knew that you’d understand since last year you collected funds for your son’s soccer team. Would you be interested in buying a candy bar to help the team?”\\nIf they say \\\"no,\\\" don't press the issue further. Say, \\\"I understand, just let me know if you change your mind. The fundraiser ends on March 21st.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose people you have a good relationship with.\", \"描述\": \"People are more likely to support your cause if they know you. It’s easier to solicit funds from people you have a prior relationship with rather than those you barely know. It’s not a good idea to make a pitch for donations during the first meeting you have with a coworker.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select people you know share an interest in the cause.\", \"描述\": \"If you know someone supports your cause, pitching to them will be easier. They may even be willing to help you raise money.\\nFor example, you may know that a few people in your office are cancer survivors, who may help support the American Cancer Society.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Making Your Pitch\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose the right time and place to ask for donations.\", \"描述\": \"Don't disturb your coworkers during a work task or inject your donation pitch into an important meeting. People will be more open to donating if you talk to them during a down moment of the day, such as in the break room, over lunch, or around the water cooler. If you do need to ask people during the actual work day, watch for times that are less busy or when your coworker is preparing to shift between tasks.\\nWatch for cues that they are busy, such as typing, speaking to someone else, reading documents, engaging in a task, or carrying their briefcase out to a meeting.\\nAsk the person if they have a moment. Say, \\\"I wanted to check in with you about something, but it isn't urgent. Are you free right now, or would later be better?\\\"\\nWhile a large work meeting might seem like a great time to get your message to everyone, don't distract from company business with your pitch.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Help your coworkers understand why they should choose your cause.\", \"描述\": \"It’s unlikely that you’re the only one asking for donations, so it’s important to set your cause apart. Although you shouldn’t disparage other causes, give a few reasons why yours is a good choice. You could point out the services your organization provides, their service record, or the need for additional support for your cause.\\nYou could say, “Every year, more children are diagnosed with autism, but there is only one local nonprofit to serve them. If you donate today, all of it will go to help the children.”\\nAlternatively, “95% of donations to this nonprofit are spent directly on research. With your help, we’ll be closer to the cure.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell them what their donation will provide.\", \"描述\": \"For example, will the funds go toward research, programs, or directly to individuals? This can help your coworkers view making a donation as providing a specific good or service. Since society is built on give-and-take, people are more likely to give if they feel like they’re getting something in return, even if it’s indirect.\\nSay, “Your donation will help provide feminine care products to women in a domestic violence shelter,” “These funds will help researchers pursue a cure for cancer,” or “Any money you donate today will go directly toward the cost of playground equipment for special needs children.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set up an event to encourage donations.\", \"描述\": \"You could provide treats to promote your cause in the office breakroom, along with information about your cause. You could also invite coworkers to a special lunch or dinner event. If your company participates in the collection, they may let you have a special office meeting.\\nFor example, you could give out heart shaped cookies along with a pamphlet from the American Heart Association.\\nThe goal of the event is to get coworkers to come to you, which allows you to deliver your pitch.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pass an envelope around the office for anonymous donations.\", \"描述\": \"If asking for donations in your office is too stressful or causes conflict, you could instead pass around an envelope. Simply affix a list with everyone’s name to the front of the envelope, then encourage everyone to pass it around. When a person gets the envelope, they check themselves off the list, whether or not they put money in.\\nThis gives everyone a chance to contribute money but doesn’t make people feel obligated to give.\\nHowever, you should only try this if you trust your coworkers not to take the donations given by those before them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Following up After Asking for Donations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Thank the people who contribute to your cause.\", \"描述\": \"At the minimum, you should give a verbal “thank you” to those who give. It’s also a good idea to give out thank you notes.\\nYou could say, \\\"Thank you so much for giving last week. In total, we raised $2,000 for new park equipment.\\\"\\nMake sure that you don’t shame people who could not give. For example, don't send out an email to the entire workplace thanking those who gave. Keep the messages private.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give your coworkers a way to say “no” without feeling bad.\", \"描述\": \"There are many reasons why people will not be able to give. They may be low on funds, they could have upcoming obligations, or they may just have different values than you do. To maintain a pleasant working environment, it’s important to give these people a way to say “no” without things becoming awkward.\\nAlways end your pitch with a question that allows the person to give a clear \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no,\\\" such \\\"Would you be interested in donating today?\\\"\\nBe prepared to graciously accept a \\\"no\\\" response. For example, say, \\\"Thanks so much for hearing me out today.\\\"\\nIf the person doesn't immediately answer, step in and shift the conversation back to work topics. Say, \\\"Don't worry about giving an answer right now. I totally understand if you can't give. If you come by my office later, I'll give you those numbers for new account.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect that some coworkers cannot afford to give to every cause.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how important the cause, you are likely to get several \\\"no\\\"s. This is normal and okay. Don’t take it personally if some people can’t give, even if they’ve given to others.\\nRemember that it’s not personal.\\nDon’t bring up prior collections in an effort to shame the person into giving.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid keeping records of who donated whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"This can make people feel very uncomfortable, especially if they can’t afford to give. For example, some people solicit donations via email, which allows them to see who responds and who doesn’t. Instead, try to talk to people in person.\\nIn some cases, you’ll need to track donations because the nonprofit you’re contributing to requires it. For example, you may need to track donations for an AIDS walk. If this is the case, keep the records as private as possible so that people don’t feel on the spot. You could cover people's names with post-it notes or another sheet of paper. It's also a good idea to keep the sheet in a folder or envelope.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,444 | How to Ask Dua | 1. Choosing When to Make Dua
1-1. Offer dua to start or finish prayer (salah), or during it.
Different traditions within Islam have varying opinions upon the proper or best time to make dua. Some believers, for instance, contend that it is most appropriate to invoke dua during prostration in prayer (sajdah).
Others find it appropriate to offer dua at any point during prayer, including opening or closing prayer with it, but either way each of the five daily salah provide a perfect opportunity to make dua.
It is always required to perform wudu (ritual washing) and face qibla (toward the Kaaba in Mecca) during salah.
1-2. Wait until you are focused and not distracted.
No matter when you deem it most appropriate to make dua, it is essential that you put yourself in the proper frame of mind. Eliminate all distractions and maintain a singular focus on offering dua. Remember that you are conversing directly with Allah.
Losing focus could be seen as an insult to Allah. It brings the sincerity of your offers and requests into doubt, incurring Allah's displeasure.
1-3. Embrace humility, submission, and certainty.
Invoking dua is not about making demands, bargaining, or assuming that you know what is best for you. Rather, it is an opportunity to submit yourself to the will of Allah with gratefulness and certainty. Make dua when you have full confidence that you will be heard and responded to.
As a believer, you can rest assured that Allah never fails to respond to dua. However, you must accept that the response may differ from what you (pridefully) assume is best for you.
Sometimes we may not even realize that Allah has answered our dua. If Allah does not give you something that you ask for, then it is because He is responding in a way that is better for you.
1-4. Make dua when you’re happy, sad, or confused.
It is very appropriate to offer dua when you are filled with joy and gratitude for the many blessings in your life. It is equally appropriate to do so when you are facing great difficulties and need help and guidance. In any case, always embrace the certainty that you will be heard and that you are never forgotten.
So long as you can summon up the requisite focus, humility, submission and hope, then there’s never a wrong time to ask dua.
2. Phrasing Your Invocation
2-1. Don’t simply recite duas that you don’t understand.
Differences of opinion exist about whether dua should be made only in Arabic, or if it’s fine to use your native language. However, no matter the language you use, make sure you fully comprehend what you’re saying. Otherwise, you’re not having a true conversation with Allah.
For instance, some people recite well-known duas in Arabic without having any idea what the words mean. Instead, if you’re using Arabic even though it’s not your first language, study translations so you know what your dua means.
Those in favor of making dua in any language, not just Arabic, point out that Allah created all languages and therefore always understands you.
2-2. Speak concisely, directly, and with humility.
You may be tempted to think that a dua should be full of big, complicated words and flowery, highfalutin phrasing. However, the opposite is true. You should use language that is plain, clear, and free of excess wording or other ostentation. Essentially, you should just get to the point of the matter.
Excessive or intentionally rhyming prose can distract you and detract from the clarity of your message. Speak in plain language instead.
Repeating the entire dua multiple times—3 is a common recommendation—is, however, a good way to sharpen your focus and demonstrate your persistence.
Use a normal speaking tone—don’t whisper as if you are embarrassed to be overheard, and don’t shout as though you are showing off.
Many Muslims cry when making dua. This is perfectly normal but don’t manufacture tears for the sake of appearances. Be genuine in your emotion by thinking about the consequences of disobeying Allah.
2-3. Invoke the name of Allah to start each dua.
There are different ways to do this based on the language used and differing traditions within Islam, but most duas start with some form of “O Allah.” It’s important to invoke Allah’s beautiful name at the beginning to make it clear that you are making a direct entreaty.
Always start your dua by praising Allah, for example by acknowledging His might, majesty and wisdom, and thanking Him for all that He has provided.
It is strictly forbidden to direct a dua toward anyone other than Allah. It is not possible, nor is it necessary, for anyone living or dead to intercede on your behalf.
2-4. Recite the Prophet’s duas as well as your own.
If you're having trouble coming up with the right words to express yourself, it's always appropriate to recite duas spoken by other wise believers, especially the Prophet Muhammad. Duas offered by the Prophet are found in the Quran and the Hadith (the collection of his sayings). The Prophet was given the gift of profound clarity and concision, so these duas are ideally phrased and focused.
That said, make sure you can fully understand and embrace the duas you recite, whether they come from the Prophetic tradition or the Quran. Choose duas that are fully appropriate to the feelings and desires you wish to convey.
There are many beautiful duas from the Sunnah that can be recited throughout the day, for example on waking and going to sleep, entering or leaving the bathroom, before eating, sneezing, even before marital relations.
In addition to the Prophet’s duas, you can search online for duas that are suited to many life circumstances, and which are in English or other languages.
3. Deciding What to Ask for and Offer
3-1. Confess your shortcomings and repent for your sins.
Some people mistakenly interpret dua as strictly an opportunity to make requests. However, it’s important to view dua as a conversation with Allah, which makes it a very appropriate time to unburden yourself and seek forgiveness.
Acknowledge your sins, however small they may seem. Promise to Allah that you will not repeat them and ask for forgiveness.
You might, for instance, ask forgiveness for treating a friend poorly, and then ask for the strength to overcome selfish impulses and treat others with care and respect.
Whether you’re confessing or requesting, use concise, direct language, and always remain focused, humble, faithful and fearful.
3-2. Ask directly for the blessings you desire to receive.
It’s great to make dua requests for general blessings like health or wisdom. That said, if you have a specific blessing in mind, spell it out plainly and ask for it. For example, you might say “O Allah, help me to perform well on the exam tomorrow that I have prepared for.”
It is accepted among believers that all legitimate dua requests are answered by Allah, and that the answer will always be for the best, but that it may not be the answer you expected.
3-3. Ask for blessings upon others as well.
You should always feel free to make dua requests for the health, welfare, and right-thinking of loved ones, friends, the faithful at large, and even your enemies. Making requests for the benefit of others displays humility and surrender to the will of Allah.
You may find that when you request blessings for others, those same blessings will be showered upon you as well. For instance, if you regularly invoke dua for the benefit of a friend in ill health, you may find that both of you become blessed with improved health.
3-4. Do not make negative requests towards others or yourself.
It is never appropriate to use dua to request that harm or misfortune befall others. For example, don’t request that your incompetent boss be fired, but rather ask that they be blessed with improved abilities.
Likewise, don’t make negative requests directed toward yourself. For instance, do not ask for death if you are suffering, but instead ask for healing or for the strength to surrender yourself to Allah’s will and bear your burden.
Asking Allah for redemption from Hellfire (Jahannam) should be a regular part of every Muslim's daily duas.
Tips
Actually believe that Allah will answer you, don't just pray without believing.
Warnings
Don't just dream for Jannat. Work for it by helping people in need, loving and believing in Allah, and not listening to shaytan the devil.
Do not make dua against family and property, or for sinful acts.
It is absolutely prohibited to seek the intercession of the dead. This is a major act of shirk and makes one a disbeliever. You can only request things from the living and what is within their means (e.g. you cannot ask someone to grant you Paradise). Evidence (translated):[15]
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[16]
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An-Nu'man bin Bashir (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Du'a (supplication) is worship." [Riyad as-Salihin Book 17, Hadith 1465][17]
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Therefore, supplicating to other than Allah is to worship them and is a major sin.
"Unquestionably, for Allah is the pure religion. And those who take protectors besides Him [say], "We only worship them that they may bring us nearer to Allah in position." Indeed, Allah will judge between them concerning that over which they differ. Indeed, Allah does not guide he who is a liar and [confirmed] disbeliever." [39:3][18]
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"And who is more astray than he who invokes besides Allah those who will not respond to him until the Day of Resurrection, and they, of their invocation, are unaware.And when the people are gathered [that Day], they [who were invoked] will be enemies to them, and they will be deniers of their worship." [46:5-6][19]
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"And whoever invokes besides Allah another deity for which he has no proof - then his account is only with his Lord. Indeed, the disbelievers will not succeed." [23:117][20]
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"Indeed, you will not make the dead hear, nor will you make the deaf hear the call when they have turned their backs retreating." [27:80][21]
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"And not equal are the living and the dead. Indeed, Allah causes to hear whom He wills, but you cannot make hear those in the graves." [35:22][22]
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"Muhammad is not but a messenger. [Other] messengers have passed on before him. So if he was to die or be killed, would you turn back on your heels [to unbelief]? And he who turns back on his heels will never harm Allah at all; but Allah will reward the grateful." [3:144][23]
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"Verily, you (O Muhammad) will die, and verily, they (too) will die." [39:30][24]
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"And We granted not to any human being immortality before you (O Muhammad); then if you die, would they live forever?" [21:34][25]
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Qur'an 3:169-171 and Qur'an 2:154 do not imply that martyrs can hear the outside world. Rather, they are in Jannah (Paradise) being rewarded.[26]
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"... And those whom you invoke other than Him do not possess [as much as] the membrane of a date seed.If you invoke them, they do not hear your supplication; and if they heard, they would not respond to you. And on the Day of Resurrection they will deny your association. And none can inform you like [one] Acquainted [with all matters].O mankind, you are those in need of Allah, while Allah is the Free of need, the Praiseworthy." [35:13-15][27]
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"And [He revealed] that the masjids are for Allah, so do not invoke with Allah anyone.And that when the Servant of Allah stood up supplicating Him, they almost became about him a compacted mass."Say, [O Muhammad], "I only invoke my Lord and do not associate with Him anyone."Say, "Indeed, I do not possess for you [the power of] harm or right direction."Say, "Indeed, there will never protect me from Allah anyone [if I should disobey], nor will I find in other than Him a refuge."[72:18–22][28]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing When to Make Dua\\n1-1. Offer dua to start or finish prayer (salah), or during it.\\nDifferent traditions within Islam have varying opinions upon the proper or best time to make dua. Some believers, for instance, contend that it is most appropriate to invoke dua during prostration in prayer (sajdah).\\nOthers find it appropriate to offer dua at any point during prayer, including opening or closing prayer with it, but either way each of the five daily salah provide a perfect opportunity to make dua.\\nIt is always required to perform wudu (ritual washing) and face qibla (toward the Kaaba in Mecca) during salah.\\n1-2. Wait until you are focused and not distracted.\\nNo matter when you deem it most appropriate to make dua, it is essential that you put yourself in the proper frame of mind. Eliminate all distractions and maintain a singular focus on offering dua. Remember that you are conversing directly with Allah.\\nLosing focus could be seen as an insult to Allah. It brings the sincerity of your offers and requests into doubt, incurring Allah's displeasure.\\n1-3. Embrace humility, submission, and certainty.\\nInvoking dua is not about making demands, bargaining, or assuming that you know what is best for you. Rather, it is an opportunity to submit yourself to the will of Allah with gratefulness and certainty. Make dua when you have full confidence that you will be heard and responded to.\\nAs a believer, you can rest assured that Allah never fails to respond to dua. However, you must accept that the response may differ from what you (pridefully) assume is best for you.\\nSometimes we may not even realize that Allah has answered our dua. If Allah does not give you something that you ask for, then it is because He is responding in a way that is better for you.\\n1-4. Make dua when you’re happy, sad, or confused.\\nIt is very appropriate to offer dua when you are filled with joy and gratitude for the many blessings in your life. It is equally appropriate to do so when you are facing great difficulties and need help and guidance. In any case, always embrace the certainty that you will be heard and that you are never forgotten.\\nSo long as you can summon up the requisite focus, humility, submission and hope, then there’s never a wrong time to ask dua.\\n2. Phrasing Your Invocation\\n2-1. Don’t simply recite duas that you don’t understand.\\nDifferences of opinion exist about whether dua should be made only in Arabic, or if it’s fine to use your native language. However, no matter the language you use, make sure you fully comprehend what you’re saying. Otherwise, you’re not having a true conversation with Allah.\\nFor instance, some people recite well-known duas in Arabic without having any idea what the words mean. Instead, if you’re using Arabic even though it’s not your first language, study translations so you know what your dua means.\\nThose in favor of making dua in any language, not just Arabic, point out that Allah created all languages and therefore always understands you.\\n2-2. Speak concisely, directly, and with humility.\\nYou may be tempted to think that a dua should be full of big, complicated words and flowery, highfalutin phrasing. However, the opposite is true. You should use language that is plain, clear, and free of excess wording or other ostentation. Essentially, you should just get to the point of the matter.\\nExcessive or intentionally rhyming prose can distract you and detract from the clarity of your message. Speak in plain language instead.\\nRepeating the entire dua multiple times—3 is a common recommendation—is, however, a good way to sharpen your focus and demonstrate your persistence.\\nUse a normal speaking tone—don’t whisper as if you are embarrassed to be overheard, and don’t shout as though you are showing off.\\nMany Muslims cry when making dua. This is perfectly normal but don’t manufacture tears for the sake of appearances. Be genuine in your emotion by thinking about the consequences of disobeying Allah.\\n2-3. Invoke the name of Allah to start each dua.\\nThere are different ways to do this based on the language used and differing traditions within Islam, but most duas start with some form of “O Allah.” It’s important to invoke Allah’s beautiful name at the beginning to make it clear that you are making a direct entreaty.\\nAlways start your dua by praising Allah, for example by acknowledging His might, majesty and wisdom, and thanking Him for all that He has provided.\\nIt is strictly forbidden to direct a dua toward anyone other than Allah. It is not possible, nor is it necessary, for anyone living or dead to intercede on your behalf.\\n2-4. Recite the Prophet’s duas as well as your own.\\nIf you're having trouble coming up with the right words to express yourself, it's always appropriate to recite duas spoken by other wise believers, especially the Prophet Muhammad. Duas offered by the Prophet are found in the Quran and the Hadith (the collection of his sayings). The Prophet was given the gift of profound clarity and concision, so these duas are ideally phrased and focused.\\nThat said, make sure you can fully understand and embrace the duas you recite, whether they come from the Prophetic tradition or the Quran. Choose duas that are fully appropriate to the feelings and desires you wish to convey.\\nThere are many beautiful duas from the Sunnah that can be recited throughout the day, for example on waking and going to sleep, entering or leaving the bathroom, before eating, sneezing, even before marital relations.\\nIn addition to the Prophet’s duas, you can search online for duas that are suited to many life circumstances, and which are in English or other languages.\\n3. Deciding What to Ask for and Offer\\n3-1. Confess your shortcomings and repent for your sins.\\nSome people mistakenly interpret dua as strictly an opportunity to make requests. However, it’s important to view dua as a conversation with Allah, which makes it a very appropriate time to unburden yourself and seek forgiveness.\\nAcknowledge your sins, however small they may seem. Promise to Allah that you will not repeat them and ask for forgiveness.\\nYou might, for instance, ask forgiveness for treating a friend poorly, and then ask for the strength to overcome selfish impulses and treat others with care and respect.\\nWhether you’re confessing or requesting, use concise, direct language, and always remain focused, humble, faithful and fearful.\\n3-2. Ask directly for the blessings you desire to receive.\\nIt’s great to make dua requests for general blessings like health or wisdom. That said, if you have a specific blessing in mind, spell it out plainly and ask for it. For example, you might say “O Allah, help me to perform well on the exam tomorrow that I have prepared for.”\\nIt is accepted among believers that all legitimate dua requests are answered by Allah, and that the answer will always be for the best, but that it may not be the answer you expected.\\n3-3. Ask for blessings upon others as well.\\nYou should always feel free to make dua requests for the health, welfare, and right-thinking of loved ones, friends, the faithful at large, and even your enemies. Making requests for the benefit of others displays humility and surrender to the will of Allah.\\nYou may find that when you request blessings for others, those same blessings will be showered upon you as well. For instance, if you regularly invoke dua for the benefit of a friend in ill health, you may find that both of you become blessed with improved health.\\n3-4. Do not make negative requests towards others or yourself.\\nIt is never appropriate to use dua to request that harm or misfortune befall others. For example, don’t request that your incompetent boss be fired, but rather ask that they be blessed with improved abilities.\\nLikewise, don’t make negative requests directed toward yourself. For instance, do not ask for death if you are suffering, but instead ask for healing or for the strength to surrender yourself to Allah’s will and bear your burden.\\nAsking Allah for redemption from Hellfire (Jahannam) should be a regular part of every Muslim's daily duas.\\nTips\\nActually believe that Allah will answer you, don't just pray without believing.\\nWarnings\\nDon't just dream for Jannat. Work for it by helping people in need, loving and believing in Allah, and not listening to shaytan the devil.\\nDo not make dua against family and property, or for sinful acts.\\nIt is absolutely prohibited to seek the intercession of the dead. This is a major act of shirk and makes one a disbeliever. You can only request things from the living and what is within their means (e.g. you cannot ask someone to grant you Paradise). Evidence (translated):[15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\nAn-Nu'man bin Bashir (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, \\\"Du'a (supplication) is worship.\\\" [Riyad as-Salihin Book 17, Hadith 1465][17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Therefore, supplicating to other than Allah is to worship them and is a major sin.\\n\\\"Unquestionably, for Allah is the pure religion. And those who take protectors besides Him [say], \\\"We only worship them that they may bring us nearer to Allah in position.\\\" Indeed, Allah will judge between them concerning that over which they differ. Indeed, Allah does not guide he who is a liar and [confirmed] disbeliever.\\\" [39:3][18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And who is more astray than he who invokes besides Allah those who will not respond to him until the Day of Resurrection, and they, of their invocation, are unaware.And when the people are gathered [that Day], they [who were invoked] will be enemies to them, and they will be deniers of their worship.\\\" [46:5-6][19]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And whoever invokes besides Allah another deity for which he has no proof - then his account is only with his Lord. Indeed, the disbelievers will not succeed.\\\" [23:117][20]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"Indeed, you will not make the dead hear, nor will you make the deaf hear the call when they have turned their backs retreating.\\\" [27:80][21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And not equal are the living and the dead. Indeed, Allah causes to hear whom He wills, but you cannot make hear those in the graves.\\\" [35:22][22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"Muhammad is not but a messenger. [Other] messengers have passed on before him. So if he was to die or be killed, would you turn back on your heels [to unbelief]? And he who turns back on his heels will never harm Allah at all; but Allah will reward the grateful.\\\" [3:144][23]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"Verily, you (O Muhammad) will die, and verily, they (too) will die.\\\" [39:30][24]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And We granted not to any human being immortality before you (O Muhammad); then if you die, would they live forever?\\\" [21:34][25]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\nQur'an 3:169-171 and Qur'an 2:154 do not imply that martyrs can hear the outside world. Rather, they are in Jannah (Paradise) being rewarded.[26]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"... And those whom you invoke other than Him do not possess [as much as] the membrane of a date seed.If you invoke them, they do not hear your supplication; and if they heard, they would not respond to you. And on the Day of Resurrection they will deny your association. And none can inform you like [one] Acquainted [with all matters].O mankind, you are those in need of Allah, while Allah is the Free of need, the Praiseworthy.\\\" [35:13-15][27]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And [He revealed] that the masjids are for Allah, so do not invoke with Allah anyone.And that when the Servant of Allah stood up supplicating Him, they almost became about him a compacted mass.\\\"Say, [O Muhammad], \\\"I only invoke my Lord and do not associate with Him anyone.\\\"Say, \\\"Indeed, I do not possess for you [the power of] harm or right direction.\\\"Say, \\\"Indeed, there will never protect me from Allah anyone [if I should disobey], nor will I find in other than Him a refuge.\\\"[72:18–22][28]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Dua is defined as any invocation or prayer addressed to Allah. It is the essence of ibadah or worship. Dua should be the first and the last resort of the believer, as it is at its core a conversation with Allah. Perspectives on the ideal timing, presentation, and phrasing of dua can vary widely among the faithful, but there is universal agreement that you must approach dua with humility, clarity, submission, and certainty that Allah will hear and respond.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing When to Make Dua\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer dua to start or finish prayer (salah), or during it.\", \"描述\": \"Different traditions within Islam have varying opinions upon the proper or best time to make dua. Some believers, for instance, contend that it is most appropriate to invoke dua during prostration in prayer (sajdah).\\nOthers find it appropriate to offer dua at any point during prayer, including opening or closing prayer with it, but either way each of the five daily salah provide a perfect opportunity to make dua.\\nIt is always required to perform wudu (ritual washing) and face qibla (toward the Kaaba in Mecca) during salah.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wait until you are focused and not distracted.\", \"描述\": \"No matter when you deem it most appropriate to make dua, it is essential that you put yourself in the proper frame of mind. Eliminate all distractions and maintain a singular focus on offering dua. Remember that you are conversing directly with Allah.\\nLosing focus could be seen as an insult to Allah. It brings the sincerity of your offers and requests into doubt, incurring Allah's displeasure.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace humility, submission, and certainty.\", \"描述\": \"Invoking dua is not about making demands, bargaining, or assuming that you know what is best for you. Rather, it is an opportunity to submit yourself to the will of Allah with gratefulness and certainty. Make dua when you have full confidence that you will be heard and responded to.\\nAs a believer, you can rest assured that Allah never fails to respond to dua. However, you must accept that the response may differ from what you (pridefully) assume is best for you.\\nSometimes we may not even realize that Allah has answered our dua. If Allah does not give you something that you ask for, then it is because He is responding in a way that is better for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make dua when you’re happy, sad, or confused.\", \"描述\": \"It is very appropriate to offer dua when you are filled with joy and gratitude for the many blessings in your life. It is equally appropriate to do so when you are facing great difficulties and need help and guidance. In any case, always embrace the certainty that you will be heard and that you are never forgotten.\\nSo long as you can summon up the requisite focus, humility, submission and hope, then there’s never a wrong time to ask dua.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Phrasing Your Invocation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t simply recite duas that you don’t understand.\", \"描述\": \"Differences of opinion exist about whether dua should be made only in Arabic, or if it’s fine to use your native language. However, no matter the language you use, make sure you fully comprehend what you’re saying. Otherwise, you’re not having a true conversation with Allah.\\nFor instance, some people recite well-known duas in Arabic without having any idea what the words mean. Instead, if you’re using Arabic even though it’s not your first language, study translations so you know what your dua means.\\nThose in favor of making dua in any language, not just Arabic, point out that Allah created all languages and therefore always understands you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak concisely, directly, and with humility.\", \"描述\": \"You may be tempted to think that a dua should be full of big, complicated words and flowery, highfalutin phrasing. However, the opposite is true. You should use language that is plain, clear, and free of excess wording or other ostentation. Essentially, you should just get to the point of the matter.\\nExcessive or intentionally rhyming prose can distract you and detract from the clarity of your message. Speak in plain language instead.\\nRepeating the entire dua multiple times—3 is a common recommendation—is, however, a good way to sharpen your focus and demonstrate your persistence.\\nUse a normal speaking tone—don’t whisper as if you are embarrassed to be overheard, and don’t shout as though you are showing off.\\nMany Muslims cry when making dua. This is perfectly normal but don’t manufacture tears for the sake of appearances. Be genuine in your emotion by thinking about the consequences of disobeying Allah.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Invoke the name of Allah to start each dua.\", \"描述\": \"There are different ways to do this based on the language used and differing traditions within Islam, but most duas start with some form of “O Allah.” It’s important to invoke Allah’s beautiful name at the beginning to make it clear that you are making a direct entreaty.\\nAlways start your dua by praising Allah, for example by acknowledging His might, majesty and wisdom, and thanking Him for all that He has provided.\\nIt is strictly forbidden to direct a dua toward anyone other than Allah. It is not possible, nor is it necessary, for anyone living or dead to intercede on your behalf.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recite the Prophet’s duas as well as your own.\", \"描述\": \"If you're having trouble coming up with the right words to express yourself, it's always appropriate to recite duas spoken by other wise believers, especially the Prophet Muhammad. Duas offered by the Prophet are found in the Quran and the Hadith (the collection of his sayings). The Prophet was given the gift of profound clarity and concision, so these duas are ideally phrased and focused.\\nThat said, make sure you can fully understand and embrace the duas you recite, whether they come from the Prophetic tradition or the Quran. Choose duas that are fully appropriate to the feelings and desires you wish to convey.\\nThere are many beautiful duas from the Sunnah that can be recited throughout the day, for example on waking and going to sleep, entering or leaving the bathroom, before eating, sneezing, even before marital relations.\\nIn addition to the Prophet’s duas, you can search online for duas that are suited to many life circumstances, and which are in English or other languages.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Deciding What to Ask for and Offer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Confess your shortcomings and repent for your sins.\", \"描述\": \"Some people mistakenly interpret dua as strictly an opportunity to make requests. However, it’s important to view dua as a conversation with Allah, which makes it a very appropriate time to unburden yourself and seek forgiveness.\\nAcknowledge your sins, however small they may seem. Promise to Allah that you will not repeat them and ask for forgiveness.\\nYou might, for instance, ask forgiveness for treating a friend poorly, and then ask for the strength to overcome selfish impulses and treat others with care and respect.\\nWhether you’re confessing or requesting, use concise, direct language, and always remain focused, humble, faithful and fearful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask directly for the blessings you desire to receive.\", \"描述\": \"It’s great to make dua requests for general blessings like health or wisdom. That said, if you have a specific blessing in mind, spell it out plainly and ask for it. For example, you might say “O Allah, help me to perform well on the exam tomorrow that I have prepared for.”\\nIt is accepted among believers that all legitimate dua requests are answered by Allah, and that the answer will always be for the best, but that it may not be the answer you expected.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for blessings upon others as well.\", \"描述\": \"You should always feel free to make dua requests for the health, welfare, and right-thinking of loved ones, friends, the faithful at large, and even your enemies. Making requests for the benefit of others displays humility and surrender to the will of Allah.\\nYou may find that when you request blessings for others, those same blessings will be showered upon you as well. For instance, if you regularly invoke dua for the benefit of a friend in ill health, you may find that both of you become blessed with improved health.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do not make negative requests towards others or yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It is never appropriate to use dua to request that harm or misfortune befall others. For example, don’t request that your incompetent boss be fired, but rather ask that they be blessed with improved abilities.\\nLikewise, don’t make negative requests directed toward yourself. For instance, do not ask for death if you are suffering, but instead ask for healing or for the strength to surrender yourself to Allah’s will and bear your burden.\\nAsking Allah for redemption from Hellfire (Jahannam) should be a regular part of every Muslim's daily duas.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Actually believe that Allah will answer you, don't just pray without believing.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't just dream for Jannat. Work for it by helping people in need, loving and believing in Allah, and not listening to shaytan the devil.\\n\", \"Do not make dua against family and property, or for sinful acts.\\n\", \"It is absolutely prohibited to seek the intercession of the dead. This is a major act of shirk and makes one a disbeliever. You can only request things from the living and what is within their means (e.g. you cannot ask someone to grant you Paradise). Evidence (translated):[15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\nAn-Nu'man bin Bashir (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, \\\"Du'a (supplication) is worship.\\\" [Riyad as-Salihin Book 17, Hadith 1465][17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Therefore, supplicating to other than Allah is to worship them and is a major sin.\\n\\\"Unquestionably, for Allah is the pure religion. And those who take protectors besides Him [say], \\\"We only worship them that they may bring us nearer to Allah in position.\\\" Indeed, Allah will judge between them concerning that over which they differ. Indeed, Allah does not guide he who is a liar and [confirmed] disbeliever.\\\" [39:3][18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And who is more astray than he who invokes besides Allah those who will not respond to him until the Day of Resurrection, and they, of their invocation, are unaware.And when the people are gathered [that Day], they [who were invoked] will be enemies to them, and they will be deniers of their worship.\\\" [46:5-6][19]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And whoever invokes besides Allah another deity for which he has no proof - then his account is only with his Lord. Indeed, the disbelievers will not succeed.\\\" [23:117][20]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"Indeed, you will not make the dead hear, nor will you make the deaf hear the call when they have turned their backs retreating.\\\" [27:80][21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And not equal are the living and the dead. Indeed, Allah causes to hear whom He wills, but you cannot make hear those in the graves.\\\" [35:22][22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"Muhammad is not but a messenger. [Other] messengers have passed on before him. So if he was to die or be killed, would you turn back on your heels [to unbelief]? And he who turns back on his heels will never harm Allah at all; but Allah will reward the grateful.\\\" [3:144][23]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"Verily, you (O Muhammad) will die, and verily, they (too) will die.\\\" [39:30][24]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And We granted not to any human being immortality before you (O Muhammad); then if you die, would they live forever?\\\" [21:34][25]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\nQur'an 3:169-171 and Qur'an 2:154 do not imply that martyrs can hear the outside world. Rather, they are in Jannah (Paradise) being rewarded.[26]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"... And those whom you invoke other than Him do not possess [as much as] the membrane of a date seed.If you invoke them, they do not hear your supplication; and if they heard, they would not respond to you. And on the Day of Resurrection they will deny your association. And none can inform you like [one] Acquainted [with all matters].O mankind, you are those in need of Allah, while Allah is the Free of need, the Praiseworthy.\\\" [35:13-15][27]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n\\\"And [He revealed] that the masjids are for Allah, so do not invoke with Allah anyone.And that when the Servant of Allah stood up supplicating Him, they almost became about him a compacted mass.\\\"Say, [O Muhammad], \\\"I only invoke my Lord and do not associate with Him anyone.\\\"Say, \\\"Indeed, I do not possess for you [the power of] harm or right direction.\\\"Say, \\\"Indeed, there will never protect me from Allah anyone [if I should disobey], nor will I find in other than Him a refuge.\\\"[72:18–22][28]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,445 | How to Ask Employees to Complete a Survey | 1. Inviting Employees to Take the Survey
1-1. Let your employees know the survey is coming.
Send your employees a couple of emails in the weeks before you send out the survey. If they know it's coming, it will already be on their mind when it actually arrives. This can increase the likelihood they'll complete the survey.
1-2. Write a memo with key information about the survey.
Once you're ready to send out the survey, include a memo with it. The memo should include all of the key information about the survey and why it's important.
Tell your employees what is happening and why. For example, you can say something as simple as "We are conducting an employee survey to gauge employee satisfaction after our business merger."
Make sure you reassure your employees that the survey is confidential.
Tell your employees how you'll use the results. For example, you can say "We'll use your responses to reorganize how you work with your supervisors."
Give your employees a deadline and tell them where to turn in their surveys. Make sure you set up a confidential place for turning in their surveys. A common area is best, like a breakroom or near the time-clock.
1-3. Tell your employees how long it will take.
If employees know up front how long the survey will take, they're more likely to schedule the time to complete it. If you don't give them any indication of how long they need to spend, they'll likely skip the survey.
Make sure you tell your employees that they can complete their surveys on company time. They'll be more likely to complete it if they know they can take some time to do it at work than if they have to take it home.
1-4. Have the highest-ranked leader possible sign the memo.
If the invitation to participate in the survey comes directly from a high-ranking leader, employees are more likely to feel listened to and therefore more likely to participate.
2. Administering the Survey
2-1. Give paper-based surveys.
Computer-based surveys are easier to collect, but employees also know that there are ways to track their responses (even if you're not doing so). Allowing your employees to fill out paper-based surveys will make them feel that their answers are more likely to be anonymous.
2-2. Include the surveys with the invitation memo.
If you include the survey (and a blank envelope for returning it) with the invitation memo, employees don't need to worry about asking for one or picking one up from somewhere everyone can see them. It increases their sense of anonymity and allows you to keep their answers confidential.
2-3. Set up an anonymous place for turning in the surveys.
If you ask employees to give their completed surveys to someone within the company, they're less likely to turn them in. They might worry that the person collecting the surveys will look at their answers, or that they'll track which survey was theirs. Instead, set up a locked collection box where employees can drop completed surveys to ensure anonymity.
2-4. Provide incentives for completing the survey.
Group incentives for completing the surveys can help increase the response rate. For example, you could offer in-office lunch to the department with the highest response rate. If your company is small, rely on individual incentives.
Even just following up and thanking your employees for their time and feedback shows that you appreciate them filling out the survey.
3. Creating Your Survey
3-1. Rely on scale questions.
Scale questions present an opinion, fact, or situation and then ask respondents to rate how true or likely it is. Employees are more likely to respond to these types of questions, since they only have to fill in a bubble, than open-ended questions where they have to write out an answer.
For example, you can ask questions like "My supervisor resolves customer conflict quickly" and then offer scale answers. Give them 5 bubbles in a horizontal line, and place "Strongly disagree" above the bubble all the way to the left and "Strongly agree" above the bubble all the way to the right.
3-2. Write a survey that takes less than 20 minutes.
If your survey is too long, your employees are likely to give up halfway through and never turn it in. Try to make the survey as short and concise as you possibly can. The survey should only take about 20 minutes, which would mean 50 to 75 scale questions.
3-3. Phrase some questions negatively.
If you ask too many questions that seem to suggest you're looking for a positive answer, employees might stop the survey. Phrasing about a third of your survey questions negatively can prevent this.
For example, instead of wording a question that says "We do a good job of resolving conflicts in my department," word it so it says "We do a poor job of resolving conflicts in my department."
3-4. Place questions about demographics at the end of the survey.
One of the most important factors in getting employees to answer surveys is anonymity. If you ask demographic questions up front, employees may feel it will reveal who they are, and they'll be less likely to answer the rest of the survey.
If you do have to ask demographic questions, limit how many you include. Three is the absolute most you should use.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Inviting Employees to Take the Survey\\n1-1. Let your employees know the survey is coming.\\nSend your employees a couple of emails in the weeks before you send out the survey. If they know it's coming, it will already be on their mind when it actually arrives. This can increase the likelihood they'll complete the survey.\\n1-2. Write a memo with key information about the survey.\\nOnce you're ready to send out the survey, include a memo with it. The memo should include all of the key information about the survey and why it's important.\\nTell your employees what is happening and why. For example, you can say something as simple as \\\"We are conducting an employee survey to gauge employee satisfaction after our business merger.\\\"\\nMake sure you reassure your employees that the survey is confidential.\\nTell your employees how you'll use the results. For example, you can say \\\"We'll use your responses to reorganize how you work with your supervisors.\\\"\\nGive your employees a deadline and tell them where to turn in their surveys. Make sure you set up a confidential place for turning in their surveys. A common area is best, like a breakroom or near the time-clock.\\n1-3. Tell your employees how long it will take.\\nIf employees know up front how long the survey will take, they're more likely to schedule the time to complete it. If you don't give them any indication of how long they need to spend, they'll likely skip the survey.\\nMake sure you tell your employees that they can complete their surveys on company time. They'll be more likely to complete it if they know they can take some time to do it at work than if they have to take it home.\\n1-4. Have the highest-ranked leader possible sign the memo.\\nIf the invitation to participate in the survey comes directly from a high-ranking leader, employees are more likely to feel listened to and therefore more likely to participate.\\n2. Administering the Survey\\n2-1. Give paper-based surveys.\\nComputer-based surveys are easier to collect, but employees also know that there are ways to track their responses (even if you're not doing so). Allowing your employees to fill out paper-based surveys will make them feel that their answers are more likely to be anonymous.\\n2-2. Include the surveys with the invitation memo.\\nIf you include the survey (and a blank envelope for returning it) with the invitation memo, employees don't need to worry about asking for one or picking one up from somewhere everyone can see them. It increases their sense of anonymity and allows you to keep their answers confidential.\\n2-3. Set up an anonymous place for turning in the surveys.\\nIf you ask employees to give their completed surveys to someone within the company, they're less likely to turn them in. They might worry that the person collecting the surveys will look at their answers, or that they'll track which survey was theirs. Instead, set up a locked collection box where employees can drop completed surveys to ensure anonymity.\\n2-4. Provide incentives for completing the survey.\\nGroup incentives for completing the surveys can help increase the response rate. For example, you could offer in-office lunch to the department with the highest response rate. If your company is small, rely on individual incentives.\\nEven just following up and thanking your employees for their time and feedback shows that you appreciate them filling out the survey.\\n3. Creating Your Survey\\n3-1. Rely on scale questions.\\nScale questions present an opinion, fact, or situation and then ask respondents to rate how true or likely it is. Employees are more likely to respond to these types of questions, since they only have to fill in a bubble, than open-ended questions where they have to write out an answer.\\nFor example, you can ask questions like \\\"My supervisor resolves customer conflict quickly\\\" and then offer scale answers. Give them 5 bubbles in a horizontal line, and place \\\"Strongly disagree\\\" above the bubble all the way to the left and \\\"Strongly agree\\\" above the bubble all the way to the right.\\n3-2. Write a survey that takes less than 20 minutes.\\nIf your survey is too long, your employees are likely to give up halfway through and never turn it in. Try to make the survey as short and concise as you possibly can. The survey should only take about 20 minutes, which would mean 50 to 75 scale questions.\\n3-3. Phrase some questions negatively.\\nIf you ask too many questions that seem to suggest you're looking for a positive answer, employees might stop the survey. Phrasing about a third of your survey questions negatively can prevent this.\\nFor example, instead of wording a question that says \\\"We do a good job of resolving conflicts in my department,\\\" word it so it says \\\"We do a poor job of resolving conflicts in my department.\\\"\\n3-4. Place questions about demographics at the end of the survey.\\nOne of the most important factors in getting employees to answer surveys is anonymity. If you ask demographic questions up front, employees may feel it will reveal who they are, and they'll be less likely to answer the rest of the survey.\\nIf you do have to ask demographic questions, limit how many you include. Three is the absolute most you should use.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Employee surveys are a great way to ask for feedback about employee satisfaction or how you can improve your company, but they only work if your employees complete them! Sending a memo or email with all the key information about the survey can help motivate them to fill out the survey. Creating paper-based surveys that can be submitted in semi-public areas can help your employees feel more anonymous, which increases the likelihood they'll turn their surveys in. We'll walk you through the steps to encourage your employees to respond to your survey!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Inviting Employees to Take the Survey\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your employees know the survey is coming.\", \"描述\": \"Send your employees a couple of emails in the weeks before you send out the survey. If they know it's coming, it will already be on their mind when it actually arrives. This can increase the likelihood they'll complete the survey.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a memo with key information about the survey.\", \"描述\": \"Once you're ready to send out the survey, include a memo with it. The memo should include all of the key information about the survey and why it's important.\\nTell your employees what is happening and why. For example, you can say something as simple as \\\"We are conducting an employee survey to gauge employee satisfaction after our business merger.\\\"\\nMake sure you reassure your employees that the survey is confidential.\\nTell your employees how you'll use the results. For example, you can say \\\"We'll use your responses to reorganize how you work with your supervisors.\\\"\\nGive your employees a deadline and tell them where to turn in their surveys. Make sure you set up a confidential place for turning in their surveys. A common area is best, like a breakroom or near the time-clock.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell your employees how long it will take.\", \"描述\": \"If employees know up front how long the survey will take, they're more likely to schedule the time to complete it. If you don't give them any indication of how long they need to spend, they'll likely skip the survey.\\nMake sure you tell your employees that they can complete their surveys on company time. They'll be more likely to complete it if they know they can take some time to do it at work than if they have to take it home.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have the highest-ranked leader possible sign the memo.\", \"描述\": \"If the invitation to participate in the survey comes directly from a high-ranking leader, employees are more likely to feel listened to and therefore more likely to participate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Administering the Survey\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give paper-based surveys.\", \"描述\": \"Computer-based surveys are easier to collect, but employees also know that there are ways to track their responses (even if you're not doing so). Allowing your employees to fill out paper-based surveys will make them feel that their answers are more likely to be anonymous.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Include the surveys with the invitation memo.\", \"描述\": \"If you include the survey (and a blank envelope for returning it) with the invitation memo, employees don't need to worry about asking for one or picking one up from somewhere everyone can see them. It increases their sense of anonymity and allows you to keep their answers confidential.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set up an anonymous place for turning in the surveys.\", \"描述\": \"If you ask employees to give their completed surveys to someone within the company, they're less likely to turn them in. They might worry that the person collecting the surveys will look at their answers, or that they'll track which survey was theirs. Instead, set up a locked collection box where employees can drop completed surveys to ensure anonymity.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide incentives for completing the survey.\", \"描述\": \"Group incentives for completing the surveys can help increase the response rate. For example, you could offer in-office lunch to the department with the highest response rate. If your company is small, rely on individual incentives.\\nEven just following up and thanking your employees for their time and feedback shows that you appreciate them filling out the survey.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Creating Your Survey\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Rely on scale questions.\", \"描述\": \"Scale questions present an opinion, fact, or situation and then ask respondents to rate how true or likely it is. Employees are more likely to respond to these types of questions, since they only have to fill in a bubble, than open-ended questions where they have to write out an answer.\\nFor example, you can ask questions like \\\"My supervisor resolves customer conflict quickly\\\" and then offer scale answers. Give them 5 bubbles in a horizontal line, and place \\\"Strongly disagree\\\" above the bubble all the way to the left and \\\"Strongly agree\\\" above the bubble all the way to the right.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a survey that takes less than 20 minutes.\", \"描述\": \"If your survey is too long, your employees are likely to give up halfway through and never turn it in. Try to make the survey as short and concise as you possibly can. The survey should only take about 20 minutes, which would mean 50 to 75 scale questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Phrase some questions negatively.\", \"描述\": \"If you ask too many questions that seem to suggest you're looking for a positive answer, employees might stop the survey. Phrasing about a third of your survey questions negatively can prevent this.\\nFor example, instead of wording a question that says \\\"We do a good job of resolving conflicts in my department,\\\" word it so it says \\\"We do a poor job of resolving conflicts in my department.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Place questions about demographics at the end of the survey.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most important factors in getting employees to answer surveys is anonymity. If you ask demographic questions up front, employees may feel it will reveal who they are, and they'll be less likely to answer the rest of the survey.\\nIf you do have to ask demographic questions, limit how many you include. Three is the absolute most you should use.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,446 | How to Ask For a Pay Raise | 1. Gathering information
1-1. Make sure you have leverage.
Getting a pay raise in most industries is hard to achieve unless you have some leverage. Leverage can consist of such things as getting another job offer performing above and beyond your job description consistently, effectively, and regularly.
If you are a "star employee," a good company will often be able to find a bit extra to keep you satisfied. Be aware that it is a fairly standard tactic to tell you that the business is already over its annual budget, to try to deter you from asking. This means that you need to know your worth as assessed against objective criteria (see below) and be persistent.
If you've already negotiated a pay deal with your boss, it may be harder to ask for more. Your boss assumes you're happy with the amount you're getting and isn't not likely to be favorably disposed to adding more financial burden to the company without good reason.
Be careful about using another job offer as leverage. Your boss may call you on it; it's important to really have such a job offer and be willing to take it if you're rebuffed by your boss. Be ready to walk that plank!
1-2. Have realistic expectations.
If your company is already "over budget" and suffering as a result of the recession, cut-backs, or any other reasons, you might be better off waiting until later. During a recessionary period, some companies will not be able to provide pay raises without also endangering your job. However, this doesn't mean that you should use this as an excuse to delay asking for a raise indefinitely.
1-3. Know your company's policies.
Read the employee handbook (and company intranet, if you have one), or better yet, talk to someone in Human Resources. Here are some things you should figure out:
Does your company require annual performance reviews to determine your salary?
Do salaries advance according to a fixed schedule or rank?
Who can make the decision (or ask for it to be made)?
1-4. Know what you're worth - objectively.
It's easy to believe you're worth more, especially if you feel as if you're giving 110 percent every day, but you need to demonstrate this objectively by assessing your worth against that of others in the same industry. Many employers say they don't give a raise until the employee does 20% more work than he did when he was initially hired. Here are some things you can take into account when you consider your worth:
Your job description
Your responsibilities, including any management or leadership tasks
Years of experience and seniority in the company's line of work
Your level of education
Your location
1-5. Gather some market data for similar positions.
While this may be something you took into account when you first negotiated your salary, your role and responsibilities probably have changed. Look at similar levels in the industry to see what others are being paid for similar work. Determine the usual salary range for those who do what you do in your region or area. Getting market data for comparable positions can empower you by helping you be and feel more knowledgeable when you talk with your boss. You can check out comparable positions at Salary.com, GenderGapApp, or Getraised.com.
While these things will be helpful when you build your case, they should not be used as the principal argument for getting a pay raise; they simply inform you about your potential worth, not your boss.
1-6. Keep abreast of the trends in your industry.
Subscribe to and read at least one trade journal regularly and make it a point to discuss the future with your colleagues.
You should also keep your eyes on the horizon and regularly envision the path ahead for your company and for the industry. Make it a point to consciously set aside time at the end of each month to critically examine the path ahead.
The very act of anticipating needed actions will serve you well in day-to-day operations and in salary re-negotiaon: You will be leading the way into the future and enhancing the company's ability to capitalize on the changing market.
1-7. Make yourself a desirable employee.
Other than putting in more time and effort you can make yourself more desirable, similar to if you were putting your application in for the first time all over again. Consider getting a certificate that would suit your job. There are websites that have free classes and tests that will reward you with a certificate of completion to help bulk up your resume. Certifications and education may help you at your job and further in life even if you aren't able to secure a raise.
2. Building a case
2-1. Prepare a list of your accomplishments.
It is best to use accurate performance measures such as quality improvement, customer satisfaction, and, especially, growth in profits. The list will remind you of your own worth, make it concrete, and provide an objective basis for your demands.
While some people believe it's helpful to write down accomplishments to present to your boss, others believe your accomplishments should already be evident and you should only need to highlight those to remind your boss of what he already knows and reinforce that knowledge. It depends on what you know about your boss's preferences, your relationship dynamics with your boss, and your own level of comfort with reciting your accomplishments verbatim.
If you choose to convince your boss verbally, memorize the list.
If you choose to present a written copy to your boss for his or her reference, have somebody proofread it for you first.
2-2. Review your work history.
Pay particular attention to projects you've worked on, problems you have helped solve, and how business operations and profits have improved since you started. This is about more than just doing your job well, which you're already expected to do, but about going above and beyond the duties of your job and, ultimately, it boils down to improving the company's bottom line. Some questions to consider when developing your case include:
Did you complete or help to complete a tough project? And get positive results from it?
Did you work extra hours or meet an urgent deadline? Are you continuing to demonstrate this type of commitment?
Did you take initiative? In what ways?
Did you go beyond the call of duty? In what ways?
Did you save the company time or money?
Did you improve any systems or processes?
Did you empower others with your support and guidance or training? As Carolyn Kepcher says, "A rising tide lifts all boats," and a boss wants to hear that you've helped facilitate team members and make them stronger, more positive forces for the company.
2-3. Consider your future value to the company.
This indicates to your boss that you see the larger picture and are positioned to help the company identify and capitalize on opportunities as they arise. You will always be one step ahead of the others in thinking about where the company is headed.
Be sure to identify specific long-term goals and objectives that will benefit the company in the future.
Keeping an existing employee happy is also less of a hassle than conducting interviews and hiring a new one. While you don’t want to say this outright, emphasizing a positive role in your company's evolution which helps assure the company's future success will definitely resonate with your boss.
2-4. Decide what level of pay raise you're looking for.
It's important not to appear greedy, but rather to remain realistic and reasonable.
If you feel comfortable with your position, tie the salary increase to the increased revenue or profit that is tied to your past successes and expectations for the near future. If you anticipate being able to bring home a lucrative project or contract in the next few months, that may well fund your pay raise (and more). The implication that the next ten months of your year are all bottom-line profit does not have to be stated explicitly, but, if the case is made convincingly, the conclusion is inescapable. If your boss sees an easy way to justify the salary increase to superiors, you are in a strong position, indeed.
The usual tactic of negotiating from a much higher point isn't as good an idea with salary increase requests because your boss might think you're trying to milk the company and push the boundaries.
You can break the numbers down so they seem less imposing. For example, you can explain it as being an extra $40 a check rather than $2,200 for the year.
You can also negotiate for more than just a pay raise. Maybe you're happy to take other things in lieu of money, such as shares in the company, a wardrobe allowance, rental assistance, or even a more prestigious title. Ask for a company car, or for a better one. If appropriate, talk about increased benefits, more conspicuous job titles, and modifications to your responsibilities, management oversight, or assignments.
Be prepared to compromise and haggle. Even though you haven't given your boss an unrealistic figure, you should expect some bargaining to go on if your boss is receptive to the request.
2-5. Talk to your coworkers and friends about how much they make.
This can give you a good starting point for how much you should ask for when you talk to your boss. Compare their wages with your own and work out what you feel is fair pay. Remember in the USA it is illegal for companies to stop employees from discussing their salary and if they attempt to stop the conversation from happening they are trying to hide something.
2-6. Don't be afraid to ask
Though it can be hard to get a pay raise, it's worse to fall into the mindset of not asking for a pay rise, ever.
In particular, women are often afraid to ask for a pay raise due to a mindset that does not want to appear demanding or pushy. See this as an opportunity to show that you care enough to develop a career trajectory that favors your workplace as well as yourself.
Negotiation is a learned skill. If you are afraid of this aspect, take some time out to learn it and practice implementing it in a variety of contexts before approaching your boss.
2-7. Choose the right time.
Successful requests are all about good timing. Ask yourself what you have done within a demonstrable time period that has made you more valuable to the firm or organization. It doesn't make sense to ask for a pay raise when you've not yet demonstrated anything amazing for the firm -- regardless of long you've been there.
The time is right when your value to the organization is clearly high. This means seizing the iron while it's hot and asking for a pay raise off the back of excellent successes such as holding a highly successful conference, getting fantastic feedback, getting a big client signed on, producing outstanding work that outsiders have praised, etc.
Don't choose a time when the company has just posted major losses.
Asking for a pay rise based purely on "time done" is dangerous because it makes you appear like a timekeeper rather than someone interested in the company's progression. Never say to your boss: "I've been here for a year and I deserve a pay rise.” Your boss will be likely to respond, "And so what?"
3. Asking for a raise
3-1. Make an appointment to talk to your boss.
Set time aside. If you just walk up and ask for a raise, you'll seem unprepared -- and come across like you don't deserve one. You don't have to give too much advance notice, but do seek privacy and a time you know you won't be interrupted. For example, when you walk in to work in the morning, say: "Before you leave, I'd like to speak with you."
Remember, a face-to-face request is far harder to turn down than a letter or email.
Try to avoid Monday, when there will be a million things to do, or Friday, when your boss may already have other things on his mind.
3-2. Present yourself well.
Be confident, not arrogant, and stay positive. Speak politely and clearly to better maintain your composure. And finally, keep in mind that it probably won't be half as bad to ask as it did to work up the nerve! When you talk to your boss, lean in a bit if you're sitting down. This will help project confidence.
Start by saying how much you enjoy your job. Being personable will help make that human connection with your boss.
Follow up by discussing your achievements. This will show your boss why a pay raise matters to you.
3-3. Ask for the raise in specific terms and then wait for your boss's response.
Don't just say, "I want a raise." Tell your boss how much more money you want to make in percentage terms, such as wanting to make 10% more money. You can also talk in terms of how much you would like your yearly salary to increase. Whatever you say, be as specific as possible, so your boss sees that you've really thought it through. Here are the things that can happen:
If it's an outright "no," see the next section.
If it's "I need time to think about this," try to pinpoint a future time for reopening the discussion.
If your boss agrees immediately, say something like, "Don't say yes unless you mean it" as a means of reinforcing it in his or her mind and then proceed to "hold your boss" to it (see below).
3-4. Thank your boss for his or her time.
This is important regardless of the answer you’ve been given.You can even go "over and above" by giving your boss more than they're expecting from you, such as a thank-you card or lunch invitation to say thanks. Consider sending a follow up email as well even if you've said thank you person multiple times.
3-5. Hold your boss to the promise
If the answer was yes, the final hurdle may be actually receiving the raise. Back-pedaling – or even simple forgetfulness -- are always possibilities. Don’t jump to conclusions if the raise does not go into effect right away. Things do go wrong: your boss might encounter resistance from the higher-ups or face budgetary problems, etc.
Making your boss feel bad about reneging (for example, mentioning someone you know who asked for a pay raise only to have a boss take it back and how staff morale plummeted). This will have to be done subtly and with tact.
Ask when your boss will implement the pay raise. A subtle way of doing this might be to ask if there is anything you need to sign to put it into effect.
Go one step further and tell your boss: "I guess that you'll have this arranged by the end of the month after you've approved the paperwork,” etc.; this puts a plan into action so that he or she doesn't have to.
4. Dealing with a refusal
4-1. Don't take it personally.
If you allow the rejection to sour your attitude or affect your work, your boss will probably feel like (s)he made the right decision. If you develop a reputation for having a bad attitude or for not accepting feedback, then your boss will be even less likely to give you a raise. Once your boss gives his final verdict, be as gracious as possible. Don't walk out of the room and slam the door.
4-2. Ask your boss what you can do differently.
This demonstrates your willingness to take your boss's opinions into account. It may be that both of you can agree on increased responsibilities and activities over a certain time period that gradually leads to a new role and a pay increase. This will also demonstrate your commitment to your job and your ability to work hard. Your boss will see you as a go-getter and you'll be on his radar the next time raise season rolls around.
If you are a star employee, keep performing excellently and ask again in a few months time.
4-3. Send a follow-up email saying thank you.
This provides a dated, written record that you can remind your boss of in future negotiations. It will also remind your boss that you're grateful for the conversation that you had and shows him that you have follow-through.
4-4. Be persistent
Your desire for a pay raise is now out in the open and your boss should be concerned about the possibility that you are looking for work elsewhere. Set a date for when you will ask again. Until that time, be sure to kick your work into high gear. Don't slack off just because you're disappointed that you won't be getting a raise yet.
4-5. Consider looking elsewhere if the situation doesn't change.
You should never have to settle for less than you deserve. If you're shooting higher than your company is willing to pay, maybe it's better to apply for a different position that has a higher salary -- either with your company or another one. Think this possibility through carefully; there's no need to burn bridges just because your conversation with your boss didn't go well.
It's better to stick with it for a little while longer to try to work for that raise. But if months have passed and you haven't gotten the recognition you deserve in spite of your hard work, then don't feel bad about seeing what other companies have to offer.
Tips
Look at your current job responsibilities and expectations. Ensure that you're doing all of these fully and without reminder or having others cover your back. From there, try to identify areas that could be done more effectively with modifications, systematization or changes to procedures. Remember that managers view a pay raise as a reward for excelling not for time put in doing the minimum standard.
Follow the chain of command when asking for a pay raise. For example, if your immediate boss is a supervisor, don't go over your boss's head to the department manager. Instead, approach your immediate boss first and let him or her tell you the next step.
Prior to asking for any raise or increase in compensation, be sure that you've handled any and all projects, jobs, and issues on your plate. Asking for a raise in the middle of something you're currently working seldom works. Remember that timing matters!
Warnings
Recognize that your boss has deadlines and budgets to contend with.
Think twice about threatening to quit if you don't get a pay raise. It rarely works. No matter how valuable you think you are to the company, don't make the mistake of thinking that you're indispensable. Eager beavers willing to learn your job for less pay are almost always waiting in the wings. If you do quit later for lack of a raise, be careful what you say in your resignation letter so it doesn't bite you down the road.
Keep the discussion focused on your work, and your value. Never use personal issues, including financial shortfalls or other problems, as the reason for needing a raise. This is business and that demonstrates personal weakness, not something you want your boss to know. Talk in terms of the value of your services.
Stay positive. Do not use this time to gripe about management, coworkers, conditions, or anything else. And do not drag other co-workers into the equation for comparison. This will seem like sour grapes even if you're praising them. If you must raise a concern for some reason, present it politely and come equipped with remedies and suggestions at a time different from asking for a pay raise.
The fact is that employers have much more experience in the field of negotiations. This is the reason why the biggest mistake an employee can make is being unprepared for the negotiation.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Gathering information\\n1-1. Make sure you have leverage.\\nGetting a pay raise in most industries is hard to achieve unless you have some leverage. Leverage can consist of such things as getting another job offer performing above and beyond your job description consistently, effectively, and regularly. \\nIf you are a \\\"star employee,\\\" a good company will often be able to find a bit extra to keep you satisfied. Be aware that it is a fairly standard tactic to tell you that the business is already over its annual budget, to try to deter you from asking. This means that you need to know your worth as assessed against objective criteria (see below) and be persistent.\\nIf you've already negotiated a pay deal with your boss, it may be harder to ask for more. Your boss assumes you're happy with the amount you're getting and isn't not likely to be favorably disposed to adding more financial burden to the company without good reason.\\nBe careful about using another job offer as leverage. Your boss may call you on it; it's important to really have such a job offer and be willing to take it if you're rebuffed by your boss. Be ready to walk that plank!\\n1-2. Have realistic expectations.\\nIf your company is already \\\"over budget\\\" and suffering as a result of the recession, cut-backs, or any other reasons, you might be better off waiting until later. During a recessionary period, some companies will not be able to provide pay raises without also endangering your job. However, this doesn't mean that you should use this as an excuse to delay asking for a raise indefinitely.\\n1-3. Know your company's policies.\\nRead the employee handbook (and company intranet, if you have one), or better yet, talk to someone in Human Resources. Here are some things you should figure out:\\nDoes your company require annual performance reviews to determine your salary?\\nDo salaries advance according to a fixed schedule or rank?\\nWho can make the decision (or ask for it to be made)?\\n1-4. Know what you're worth - objectively.\\nIt's easy to believe you're worth more, especially if you feel as if you're giving 110 percent every day, but you need to demonstrate this objectively by assessing your worth against that of others in the same industry. Many employers say they don't give a raise until the employee does 20% more work than he did when he was initially hired. Here are some things you can take into account when you consider your worth:\\nYour job description\\nYour responsibilities, including any management or leadership tasks\\nYears of experience and seniority in the company's line of work\\nYour level of education\\nYour location\\n1-5. Gather some market data for similar positions.\\nWhile this may be something you took into account when you first negotiated your salary, your role and responsibilities probably have changed. Look at similar levels in the industry to see what others are being paid for similar work. Determine the usual salary range for those who do what you do in your region or area. Getting market data for comparable positions can empower you by helping you be and feel more knowledgeable when you talk with your boss. You can check out comparable positions at Salary.com, GenderGapApp, or Getraised.com.\\nWhile these things will be helpful when you build your case, they should not be used as the principal argument for getting a pay raise; they simply inform you about your potential worth, not your boss.\\n1-6. Keep abreast of the trends in your industry.\\nSubscribe to and read at least one trade journal regularly and make it a point to discuss the future with your colleagues.\\nYou should also keep your eyes on the horizon and regularly envision the path ahead for your company and for the industry. Make it a point to consciously set aside time at the end of each month to critically examine the path ahead.\\nThe very act of anticipating needed actions will serve you well in day-to-day operations and in salary re-negotiaon: You will be leading the way into the future and enhancing the company's ability to capitalize on the changing market.\\n1-7. Make yourself a desirable employee.\\nOther than putting in more time and effort you can make yourself more desirable, similar to if you were putting your application in for the first time all over again. Consider getting a certificate that would suit your job. There are websites that have free classes and tests that will reward you with a certificate of completion to help bulk up your resume. Certifications and education may help you at your job and further in life even if you aren't able to secure a raise.\\n2. Building a case\\n2-1. Prepare a list of your accomplishments.\\nIt is best to use accurate performance measures such as quality improvement, customer satisfaction, and, especially, growth in profits. The list will remind you of your own worth, make it concrete, and provide an objective basis for your demands.\\nWhile some people believe it's helpful to write down accomplishments to present to your boss, others believe your accomplishments should already be evident and you should only need to highlight those to remind your boss of what he already knows and reinforce that knowledge. It depends on what you know about your boss's preferences, your relationship dynamics with your boss, and your own level of comfort with reciting your accomplishments verbatim.\\nIf you choose to convince your boss verbally, memorize the list.\\nIf you choose to present a written copy to your boss for his or her reference, have somebody proofread it for you first.\\n2-2. Review your work history.\\nPay particular attention to projects you've worked on, problems you have helped solve, and how business operations and profits have improved since you started. This is about more than just doing your job well, which you're already expected to do, but about going above and beyond the duties of your job and, ultimately, it boils down to improving the company's bottom line. Some questions to consider when developing your case include:\\nDid you complete or help to complete a tough project? And get positive results from it?\\nDid you work extra hours or meet an urgent deadline? Are you continuing to demonstrate this type of commitment?\\nDid you take initiative? In what ways?\\nDid you go beyond the call of duty? In what ways?\\nDid you save the company time or money?\\nDid you improve any systems or processes?\\nDid you empower others with your support and guidance or training? As Carolyn Kepcher says, \\\"A rising tide lifts all boats,\\\" and a boss wants to hear that you've helped facilitate team members and make them stronger, more positive forces for the company.\\n2-3. Consider your future value to the company.\\nThis indicates to your boss that you see the larger picture and are positioned to help the company identify and capitalize on opportunities as they arise. You will always be one step ahead of the others in thinking about where the company is headed.\\nBe sure to identify specific long-term goals and objectives that will benefit the company in the future.\\nKeeping an existing employee happy is also less of a hassle than conducting interviews and hiring a new one. While you don’t want to say this outright, emphasizing a positive role in your company's evolution which helps assure the company's future success will definitely resonate with your boss.\\n2-4. Decide what level of pay raise you're looking for.\\nIt's important not to appear greedy, but rather to remain realistic and reasonable.\\nIf you feel comfortable with your position, tie the salary increase to the increased revenue or profit that is tied to your past successes and expectations for the near future. If you anticipate being able to bring home a lucrative project or contract in the next few months, that may well fund your pay raise (and more). The implication that the next ten months of your year are all bottom-line profit does not have to be stated explicitly, but, if the case is made convincingly, the conclusion is inescapable. If your boss sees an easy way to justify the salary increase to superiors, you are in a strong position, indeed.\\nThe usual tactic of negotiating from a much higher point isn't as good an idea with salary increase requests because your boss might think you're trying to milk the company and push the boundaries.\\nYou can break the numbers down so they seem less imposing. For example, you can explain it as being an extra $40 a check rather than $2,200 for the year.\\nYou can also negotiate for more than just a pay raise. Maybe you're happy to take other things in lieu of money, such as shares in the company, a wardrobe allowance, rental assistance, or even a more prestigious title. Ask for a company car, or for a better one. If appropriate, talk about increased benefits, more conspicuous job titles, and modifications to your responsibilities, management oversight, or assignments.\\nBe prepared to compromise and haggle. Even though you haven't given your boss an unrealistic figure, you should expect some bargaining to go on if your boss is receptive to the request.\\n2-5. Talk to your coworkers and friends about how much they make.\\nThis can give you a good starting point for how much you should ask for when you talk to your boss. Compare their wages with your own and work out what you feel is fair pay. Remember in the USA it is illegal for companies to stop employees from discussing their salary and if they attempt to stop the conversation from happening they are trying to hide something.\\n2-6. Don't be afraid to ask\\nThough it can be hard to get a pay raise, it's worse to fall into the mindset of not asking for a pay rise, ever.\\nIn particular, women are often afraid to ask for a pay raise due to a mindset that does not want to appear demanding or pushy. See this as an opportunity to show that you care enough to develop a career trajectory that favors your workplace as well as yourself.\\nNegotiation is a learned skill. If you are afraid of this aspect, take some time out to learn it and practice implementing it in a variety of contexts before approaching your boss.\\n2-7. Choose the right time.\\nSuccessful requests are all about good timing. Ask yourself what you have done within a demonstrable time period that has made you more valuable to the firm or organization. It doesn't make sense to ask for a pay raise when you've not yet demonstrated anything amazing for the firm -- regardless of long you've been there.\\nThe time is right when your value to the organization is clearly high. This means seizing the iron while it's hot and asking for a pay raise off the back of excellent successes such as holding a highly successful conference, getting fantastic feedback, getting a big client signed on, producing outstanding work that outsiders have praised, etc.\\nDon't choose a time when the company has just posted major losses.\\nAsking for a pay rise based purely on \\\"time done\\\" is dangerous because it makes you appear like a timekeeper rather than someone interested in the company's progression. Never say to your boss: \\\"I've been here for a year and I deserve a pay rise.” Your boss will be likely to respond, \\\"And so what?\\\"\\n3. Asking for a raise\\n3-1. Make an appointment to talk to your boss.\\nSet time aside. If you just walk up and ask for a raise, you'll seem unprepared -- and come across like you don't deserve one. You don't have to give too much advance notice, but do seek privacy and a time you know you won't be interrupted. For example, when you walk in to work in the morning, say: \\\"Before you leave, I'd like to speak with you.\\\"\\nRemember, a face-to-face request is far harder to turn down than a letter or email.\\nTry to avoid Monday, when there will be a million things to do, or Friday, when your boss may already have other things on his mind.\\n3-2. Present yourself well.\\nBe confident, not arrogant, and stay positive. Speak politely and clearly to better maintain your composure. And finally, keep in mind that it probably won't be half as bad to ask as it did to work up the nerve! When you talk to your boss, lean in a bit if you're sitting down. This will help project confidence.\\nStart by saying how much you enjoy your job. Being personable will help make that human connection with your boss.\\nFollow up by discussing your achievements. This will show your boss why a pay raise matters to you.\\n3-3. Ask for the raise in specific terms and then wait for your boss's response.\\nDon't just say, \\\"I want a raise.\\\" Tell your boss how much more money you want to make in percentage terms, such as wanting to make 10% more money. You can also talk in terms of how much you would like your yearly salary to increase. Whatever you say, be as specific as possible, so your boss sees that you've really thought it through. Here are the things that can happen:\\nIf it's an outright \\\"no,\\\" see the next section.\\nIf it's \\\"I need time to think about this,\\\" try to pinpoint a future time for reopening the discussion.\\nIf your boss agrees immediately, say something like, \\\"Don't say yes unless you mean it\\\" as a means of reinforcing it in his or her mind and then proceed to \\\"hold your boss\\\" to it (see below).\\n3-4. Thank your boss for his or her time.\\nThis is important regardless of the answer you’ve been given.You can even go \\\"over and above\\\" by giving your boss more than they're expecting from you, such as a thank-you card or lunch invitation to say thanks. Consider sending a follow up email as well even if you've said thank you person multiple times.\\n3-5. Hold your boss to the promise\\nIf the answer was yes, the final hurdle may be actually receiving the raise. Back-pedaling – or even simple forgetfulness -- are always possibilities. Don’t jump to conclusions if the raise does not go into effect right away. Things do go wrong: your boss might encounter resistance from the higher-ups or face budgetary problems, etc.\\nMaking your boss feel bad about reneging (for example, mentioning someone you know who asked for a pay raise only to have a boss take it back and how staff morale plummeted). This will have to be done subtly and with tact.\\nAsk when your boss will implement the pay raise. A subtle way of doing this might be to ask if there is anything you need to sign to put it into effect.\\nGo one step further and tell your boss: \\\"I guess that you'll have this arranged by the end of the month after you've approved the paperwork,” etc.; this puts a plan into action so that he or she doesn't have to.\\n4. Dealing with a refusal\\n4-1. Don't take it personally.\\nIf you allow the rejection to sour your attitude or affect your work, your boss will probably feel like (s)he made the right decision. If you develop a reputation for having a bad attitude or for not accepting feedback, then your boss will be even less likely to give you a raise. Once your boss gives his final verdict, be as gracious as possible. Don't walk out of the room and slam the door.\\n4-2. Ask your boss what you can do differently.\\nThis demonstrates your willingness to take your boss's opinions into account. It may be that both of you can agree on increased responsibilities and activities over a certain time period that gradually leads to a new role and a pay increase. This will also demonstrate your commitment to your job and your ability to work hard. Your boss will see you as a go-getter and you'll be on his radar the next time raise season rolls around.\\nIf you are a star employee, keep performing excellently and ask again in a few months time.\\n4-3. Send a follow-up email saying thank you.\\nThis provides a dated, written record that you can remind your boss of in future negotiations. It will also remind your boss that you're grateful for the conversation that you had and shows him that you have follow-through.\\n4-4. Be persistent\\nYour desire for a pay raise is now out in the open and your boss should be concerned about the possibility that you are looking for work elsewhere. Set a date for when you will ask again. Until that time, be sure to kick your work into high gear. Don't slack off just because you're disappointed that you won't be getting a raise yet.\\n4-5. Consider looking elsewhere if the situation doesn't change.\\nYou should never have to settle for less than you deserve. If you're shooting higher than your company is willing to pay, maybe it's better to apply for a different position that has a higher salary -- either with your company or another one. Think this possibility through carefully; there's no need to burn bridges just because your conversation with your boss didn't go well.\\nIt's better to stick with it for a little while longer to try to work for that raise. But if months have passed and you haven't gotten the recognition you deserve in spite of your hard work, then don't feel bad about seeing what other companies have to offer.\\nTips\\nLook at your current job responsibilities and expectations. Ensure that you're doing all of these fully and without reminder or having others cover your back. From there, try to identify areas that could be done more effectively with modifications, systematization or changes to procedures. Remember that managers view a pay raise as a reward for excelling not for time put in doing the minimum standard.\\nFollow the chain of command when asking for a pay raise. For example, if your immediate boss is a supervisor, don't go over your boss's head to the department manager. Instead, approach your immediate boss first and let him or her tell you the next step.\\nPrior to asking for any raise or increase in compensation, be sure that you've handled any and all projects, jobs, and issues on your plate. Asking for a raise in the middle of something you're currently working seldom works. Remember that timing matters!\\nWarnings\\nRecognize that your boss has deadlines and budgets to contend with.\\nThink twice about threatening to quit if you don't get a pay raise. It rarely works. No matter how valuable you think you are to the company, don't make the mistake of thinking that you're indispensable. Eager beavers willing to learn your job for less pay are almost always waiting in the wings. If you do quit later for lack of a raise, be careful what you say in your resignation letter so it doesn't bite you down the road.\\nKeep the discussion focused on your work, and your value. Never use personal issues, including financial shortfalls or other problems, as the reason for needing a raise. This is business and that demonstrates personal weakness, not something you want your boss to know. Talk in terms of the value of your services.\\nStay positive. Do not use this time to gripe about management, coworkers, conditions, or anything else. And do not drag other co-workers into the equation for comparison. This will seem like sour grapes even if you're praising them. If you must raise a concern for some reason, present it politely and come equipped with remedies and suggestions at a time different from asking for a pay raise.\\nThe fact is that employers have much more experience in the field of negotiations. This is the reason why the biggest mistake an employee can make is being unprepared for the negotiation.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you feel like you have been doing an excellent job at work, don't be afraid to approach your employer for a raise. Many people are afraid to ask for raises even though they know they deserve them, making excuses like, \\\"The economy is so down right now\\\" or \\\"I'll never find a good time.\\\" If this sounds like you, then it's time to stop getting in your own way and to start making a game plan for getting the higher salary you deserve.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gathering information\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure you have leverage.\", \"描述\": \"Getting a pay raise in most industries is hard to achieve unless you have some leverage. Leverage can consist of such things as getting another job offer performing above and beyond your job description consistently, effectively, and regularly. \\nIf you are a \\\"star employee,\\\" a good company will often be able to find a bit extra to keep you satisfied. Be aware that it is a fairly standard tactic to tell you that the business is already over its annual budget, to try to deter you from asking. This means that you need to know your worth as assessed against objective criteria (see below) and be persistent.\\nIf you've already negotiated a pay deal with your boss, it may be harder to ask for more. Your boss assumes you're happy with the amount you're getting and isn't not likely to be favorably disposed to adding more financial burden to the company without good reason.\\nBe careful about using another job offer as leverage. Your boss may call you on it; it's important to really have such a job offer and be willing to take it if you're rebuffed by your boss. Be ready to walk that plank!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have realistic expectations.\", \"描述\": \"If your company is already \\\"over budget\\\" and suffering as a result of the recession, cut-backs, or any other reasons, you might be better off waiting until later. During a recessionary period, some companies will not be able to provide pay raises without also endangering your job. However, this doesn't mean that you should use this as an excuse to delay asking for a raise indefinitely.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know your company's policies.\", \"描述\": \"Read the employee handbook (and company intranet, if you have one), or better yet, talk to someone in Human Resources. Here are some things you should figure out:\\nDoes your company require annual performance reviews to determine your salary?\\nDo salaries advance according to a fixed schedule or rank?\\nWho can make the decision (or ask for it to be made)?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know what you're worth - objectively.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to believe you're worth more, especially if you feel as if you're giving 110 percent every day, but you need to demonstrate this objectively by assessing your worth against that of others in the same industry. Many employers say they don't give a raise until the employee does 20% more work than he did when he was initially hired. Here are some things you can take into account when you consider your worth:\\nYour job description\\nYour responsibilities, including any management or leadership tasks\\nYears of experience and seniority in the company's line of work\\nYour level of education\\nYour location\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Gather some market data for similar positions.\", \"描述\": \"While this may be something you took into account when you first negotiated your salary, your role and responsibilities probably have changed. Look at similar levels in the industry to see what others are being paid for similar work. Determine the usual salary range for those who do what you do in your region or area. Getting market data for comparable positions can empower you by helping you be and feel more knowledgeable when you talk with your boss. You can check out comparable positions at Salary.com, GenderGapApp, or Getraised.com.\\nWhile these things will be helpful when you build your case, they should not be used as the principal argument for getting a pay raise; they simply inform you about your potential worth, not your boss.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep abreast of the trends in your industry.\", \"描述\": \"Subscribe to and read at least one trade journal regularly and make it a point to discuss the future with your colleagues.\\nYou should also keep your eyes on the horizon and regularly envision the path ahead for your company and for the industry. Make it a point to consciously set aside time at the end of each month to critically examine the path ahead.\\nThe very act of anticipating needed actions will serve you well in day-to-day operations and in salary re-negotiaon: You will be leading the way into the future and enhancing the company's ability to capitalize on the changing market.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make yourself a desirable employee.\", \"描述\": \"Other than putting in more time and effort you can make yourself more desirable, similar to if you were putting your application in for the first time all over again. Consider getting a certificate that would suit your job. There are websites that have free classes and tests that will reward you with a certificate of completion to help bulk up your resume. Certifications and education may help you at your job and further in life even if you aren't able to secure a raise.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building a case\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare a list of your accomplishments.\", \"描述\": \"It is best to use accurate performance measures such as quality improvement, customer satisfaction, and, especially, growth in profits. The list will remind you of your own worth, make it concrete, and provide an objective basis for your demands.\\nWhile some people believe it's helpful to write down accomplishments to present to your boss, others believe your accomplishments should already be evident and you should only need to highlight those to remind your boss of what he already knows and reinforce that knowledge. It depends on what you know about your boss's preferences, your relationship dynamics with your boss, and your own level of comfort with reciting your accomplishments verbatim.\\nIf you choose to convince your boss verbally, memorize the list.\\nIf you choose to present a written copy to your boss for his or her reference, have somebody proofread it for you first.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Review your work history.\", \"描述\": \"Pay particular attention to projects you've worked on, problems you have helped solve, and how business operations and profits have improved since you started. This is about more than just doing your job well, which you're already expected to do, but about going above and beyond the duties of your job and, ultimately, it boils down to improving the company's bottom line. Some questions to consider when developing your case include:\\nDid you complete or help to complete a tough project? And get positive results from it?\\nDid you work extra hours or meet an urgent deadline? Are you continuing to demonstrate this type of commitment?\\nDid you take initiative? In what ways?\\nDid you go beyond the call of duty? In what ways?\\nDid you save the company time or money?\\nDid you improve any systems or processes?\\nDid you empower others with your support and guidance or training? As Carolyn Kepcher says, \\\"A rising tide lifts all boats,\\\" and a boss wants to hear that you've helped facilitate team members and make them stronger, more positive forces for the company.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider your future value to the company.\", \"描述\": \"This indicates to your boss that you see the larger picture and are positioned to help the company identify and capitalize on opportunities as they arise. You will always be one step ahead of the others in thinking about where the company is headed.\\nBe sure to identify specific long-term goals and objectives that will benefit the company in the future.\\nKeeping an existing employee happy is also less of a hassle than conducting interviews and hiring a new one. While you don’t want to say this outright, emphasizing a positive role in your company's evolution which helps assure the company's future success will definitely resonate with your boss.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decide what level of pay raise you're looking for.\", \"描述\": \"It's important not to appear greedy, but rather to remain realistic and reasonable.\\nIf you feel comfortable with your position, tie the salary increase to the increased revenue or profit that is tied to your past successes and expectations for the near future. If you anticipate being able to bring home a lucrative project or contract in the next few months, that may well fund your pay raise (and more). The implication that the next ten months of your year are all bottom-line profit does not have to be stated explicitly, but, if the case is made convincingly, the conclusion is inescapable. If your boss sees an easy way to justify the salary increase to superiors, you are in a strong position, indeed.\\nThe usual tactic of negotiating from a much higher point isn't as good an idea with salary increase requests because your boss might think you're trying to milk the company and push the boundaries.\\nYou can break the numbers down so they seem less imposing. For example, you can explain it as being an extra $40 a check rather than $2,200 for the year.\\nYou can also negotiate for more than just a pay raise. Maybe you're happy to take other things in lieu of money, such as shares in the company, a wardrobe allowance, rental assistance, or even a more prestigious title. Ask for a company car, or for a better one. If appropriate, talk about increased benefits, more conspicuous job titles, and modifications to your responsibilities, management oversight, or assignments.\\nBe prepared to compromise and haggle. Even though you haven't given your boss an unrealistic figure, you should expect some bargaining to go on if your boss is receptive to the request.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk to your coworkers and friends about how much they make.\", \"描述\": \"This can give you a good starting point for how much you should ask for when you talk to your boss. Compare their wages with your own and work out what you feel is fair pay. Remember in the USA it is illegal for companies to stop employees from discussing their salary and if they attempt to stop the conversation from happening they are trying to hide something.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to ask\", \"描述\": \"Though it can be hard to get a pay raise, it's worse to fall into the mindset of not asking for a pay rise, ever.\\nIn particular, women are often afraid to ask for a pay raise due to a mindset that does not want to appear demanding or pushy. See this as an opportunity to show that you care enough to develop a career trajectory that favors your workplace as well as yourself.\\nNegotiation is a learned skill. If you are afraid of this aspect, take some time out to learn it and practice implementing it in a variety of contexts before approaching your boss.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Choose the right time.\", \"描述\": \"Successful requests are all about good timing. Ask yourself what you have done within a demonstrable time period that has made you more valuable to the firm or organization. It doesn't make sense to ask for a pay raise when you've not yet demonstrated anything amazing for the firm -- regardless of long you've been there.\\nThe time is right when your value to the organization is clearly high. This means seizing the iron while it's hot and asking for a pay raise off the back of excellent successes such as holding a highly successful conference, getting fantastic feedback, getting a big client signed on, producing outstanding work that outsiders have praised, etc.\\nDon't choose a time when the company has just posted major losses.\\nAsking for a pay rise based purely on \\\"time done\\\" is dangerous because it makes you appear like a timekeeper rather than someone interested in the company's progression. Never say to your boss: \\\"I've been here for a year and I deserve a pay rise.” Your boss will be likely to respond, \\\"And so what?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking for a raise\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make an appointment to talk to your boss.\", \"描述\": \"Set time aside. If you just walk up and ask for a raise, you'll seem unprepared -- and come across like you don't deserve one. You don't have to give too much advance notice, but do seek privacy and a time you know you won't be interrupted. For example, when you walk in to work in the morning, say: \\\"Before you leave, I'd like to speak with you.\\\"\\nRemember, a face-to-face request is far harder to turn down than a letter or email.\\nTry to avoid Monday, when there will be a million things to do, or Friday, when your boss may already have other things on his mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Present yourself well.\", \"描述\": \"Be confident, not arrogant, and stay positive. Speak politely and clearly to better maintain your composure. And finally, keep in mind that it probably won't be half as bad to ask as it did to work up the nerve! When you talk to your boss, lean in a bit if you're sitting down. This will help project confidence.\\nStart by saying how much you enjoy your job. Being personable will help make that human connection with your boss.\\nFollow up by discussing your achievements. This will show your boss why a pay raise matters to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for the raise in specific terms and then wait for your boss's response.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just say, \\\"I want a raise.\\\" Tell your boss how much more money you want to make in percentage terms, such as wanting to make 10% more money. You can also talk in terms of how much you would like your yearly salary to increase. Whatever you say, be as specific as possible, so your boss sees that you've really thought it through. Here are the things that can happen:\\nIf it's an outright \\\"no,\\\" see the next section.\\nIf it's \\\"I need time to think about this,\\\" try to pinpoint a future time for reopening the discussion.\\nIf your boss agrees immediately, say something like, \\\"Don't say yes unless you mean it\\\" as a means of reinforcing it in his or her mind and then proceed to \\\"hold your boss\\\" to it (see below).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Thank your boss for his or her time.\", \"描述\": \"This is important regardless of the answer you’ve been given.You can even go \\\"over and above\\\" by giving your boss more than they're expecting from you, such as a thank-you card or lunch invitation to say thanks. Consider sending a follow up email as well even if you've said thank you person multiple times.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Hold your boss to the promise\", \"描述\": \"If the answer was yes, the final hurdle may be actually receiving the raise. Back-pedaling – or even simple forgetfulness -- are always possibilities. Don’t jump to conclusions if the raise does not go into effect right away. Things do go wrong: your boss might encounter resistance from the higher-ups or face budgetary problems, etc.\\nMaking your boss feel bad about reneging (for example, mentioning someone you know who asked for a pay raise only to have a boss take it back and how staff morale plummeted). This will have to be done subtly and with tact.\\nAsk when your boss will implement the pay raise. A subtle way of doing this might be to ask if there is anything you need to sign to put it into effect.\\nGo one step further and tell your boss: \\\"I guess that you'll have this arranged by the end of the month after you've approved the paperwork,” etc.; this puts a plan into action so that he or she doesn't have to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dealing with a refusal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't take it personally.\", \"描述\": \"If you allow the rejection to sour your attitude or affect your work, your boss will probably feel like (s)he made the right decision. If you develop a reputation for having a bad attitude or for not accepting feedback, then your boss will be even less likely to give you a raise. Once your boss gives his final verdict, be as gracious as possible. Don't walk out of the room and slam the door.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask your boss what you can do differently.\", \"描述\": \"This demonstrates your willingness to take your boss's opinions into account. It may be that both of you can agree on increased responsibilities and activities over a certain time period that gradually leads to a new role and a pay increase. This will also demonstrate your commitment to your job and your ability to work hard. Your boss will see you as a go-getter and you'll be on his radar the next time raise season rolls around.\\nIf you are a star employee, keep performing excellently and ask again in a few months time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send a follow-up email saying thank you.\", \"描述\": \"This provides a dated, written record that you can remind your boss of in future negotiations. It will also remind your boss that you're grateful for the conversation that you had and shows him that you have follow-through.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be persistent\", \"描述\": \"Your desire for a pay raise is now out in the open and your boss should be concerned about the possibility that you are looking for work elsewhere. Set a date for when you will ask again. Until that time, be sure to kick your work into high gear. Don't slack off just because you're disappointed that you won't be getting a raise yet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider looking elsewhere if the situation doesn't change.\", \"描述\": \"You should never have to settle for less than you deserve. If you're shooting higher than your company is willing to pay, maybe it's better to apply for a different position that has a higher salary -- either with your company or another one. Think this possibility through carefully; there's no need to burn bridges just because your conversation with your boss didn't go well.\\nIt's better to stick with it for a little while longer to try to work for that raise. But if months have passed and you haven't gotten the recognition you deserve in spite of your hard work, then don't feel bad about seeing what other companies have to offer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Look at your current job responsibilities and expectations. Ensure that you're doing all of these fully and without reminder or having others cover your back. From there, try to identify areas that could be done more effectively with modifications, systematization or changes to procedures. Remember that managers view a pay raise as a reward for excelling not for time put in doing the minimum standard.\\n\", \"Follow the chain of command when asking for a pay raise. For example, if your immediate boss is a supervisor, don't go over your boss's head to the department manager. Instead, approach your immediate boss first and let him or her tell you the next step.\\n\", \"Prior to asking for any raise or increase in compensation, be sure that you've handled any and all projects, jobs, and issues on your plate. Asking for a raise in the middle of something you're currently working seldom works. Remember that timing matters!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Recognize that your boss has deadlines and budgets to contend with.\\n\", \"Think twice about threatening to quit if you don't get a pay raise. It rarely works. No matter how valuable you think you are to the company, don't make the mistake of thinking that you're indispensable. Eager beavers willing to learn your job for less pay are almost always waiting in the wings. If you do quit later for lack of a raise, be careful what you say in your resignation letter so it doesn't bite you down the road.\\n\", \"Keep the discussion focused on your work, and your value. Never use personal issues, including financial shortfalls or other problems, as the reason for needing a raise. This is business and that demonstrates personal weakness, not something you want your boss to know. Talk in terms of the value of your services.\\n\", \"Stay positive. Do not use this time to gripe about management, coworkers, conditions, or anything else. And do not drag other co-workers into the equation for comparison. This will seem like sour grapes even if you're praising them. If you must raise a concern for some reason, present it politely and come equipped with remedies and suggestions at a time different from asking for a pay raise.\\n\", \"The fact is that employers have much more experience in the field of negotiations. This is the reason why the biggest mistake an employee can make is being unprepared for the negotiation.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,447 | How to Ask For an Allowance | 1. Preparing Your Case
1-1. Do some research.
If you are reading this, then you are old enough to receive an allowance. Good news! Experts report that it is useful to start teaching children about financial responsibility as early as kindergarten. Studies show that kids who earn an allowance better understand the value of hard work.
An allowance also teaches independence. When a child has their own money, they feel more in control of choices, such as what to spend that money on. For example, explain to your parents that you will be able to purchase your own video games, with their permission, of course.
Gather some information, such as average allowance amounts, and how often most parents give their kids a set allowance. Most kids receive an allowance each week. Try asking your parents for a dollar for each year you have been alive. For example, if you are 10 years old, you would get $10 a week.
Ask your friends and classmates if they receive an allowance, and if so, how much. You can use this information when you make your case to your parents.
1-2. Prepare a budget.
Your parents will be more likely to listen if you can clearly explain why you need an allowance. Make a list of the things that you are likely to spend money on. Find out how much those items cost. This will give you a good idea of a specific amount of money to request from your parents.
If you are new to making a budget, there are tools that you can use to help you. Look for free apps that you can put on your phone, or online programs that you can use. After you successfully receive your allowance, these tools can also help you keep track of your spending.
When you are listing budget items, make sure that you set aside some money for savings. Whether you intend to use your savings for a new bike or for college, your parents will appreciate that you are thinking ahead.
1-3. List the benefits.
Giving kids an allowance is a great way to teach kids financial responsibility. This is one of the key points that you should make when you are asking your parents for an allowance. There are also many other positive points that you can add to your request. Make a list of them as you prepare so that you don't forget any.
Point out that financial responsibility leads to overall responsibility. When you learn to be in charge of one area of your life (such as buying your own video games), it is only natural that you will start to take on additional responsibilities.
Allowances can be used to teach social responsibility. Consider telling your parents that you would like to set aside a small portion of your allowance to give to charity. For example, if you love dogs, you could make small donations to your local animal shelter.
If you have an allowance, you won't have to ask your parents every time you want something. This could be seen as a major benefit for both you and your folks!
2. Demonstrating Your Responsibility
2-1. Do your chores.
If you are old enough to receive an allowance, then you probably have some role in helping out around the house. Whether you have a set list of chores to do, or you are just expected to pitch in when asked, make sure that you are completing all of your tasks. When you are getting ready to ask for an allowance, you want to show your parents that you know how to act responsibly.
Go the extra mile. For example, if your job is to put away your clean laundry, offer to put away your little brother's clothes, too. Your parents will definitely notice and appreciate the extra effort.
2-2. Obey the rules of the house.
Every kid has certain rules that they are expected to follow. If you willingly follow your parents rules, this shows them that you are responsible and trustworthy. Make sure to consistently meet your parents' expectations. If they trust you to follow their rules, they will be more likely to trust you with money.
Make sure that you not only follow the rules, but that you do it without complaint. For example, if you are told to complete your homework before hanging out with your friends, do it without grumbling.
2-3. Volunteer.
Finding a way to volunteer is a great way to show your parents that you are giving back. This will demonstrate to them that you deserve an allowance. There are lots of volunteer opportunities for kids, no matter what your age. You could help out at a food bank, or pet the animals at your local shelter. If you choose an activity that matters to you, you'll even start to have fun.
You can also volunteer within your own family. For example, offer to spend some extra time with your grandmother. Help her out around the house. This will show your parents that you are a caring person.
2-4. Show maturity.
Being mature means that you are acting in a reasonable, responsible way. If you show your parents that you are growing up, they will be more likely to see you as someone who deserves an allowance. There are many ways that you can demonstrate maturity.
Be honest. Always tell your parents the truth. This will show them that they can trust you.
Stay calm. Avoid throwing fits or whining if you don't get your way. Instead, remain calm and talk to your parents about your frustrations.
3. Communicating Effectively
3-1. Be prepared.
Make sure to plan the conversation that you want to have with your parents. Preparation will help you to stay organized and demonstrate that you take this talk seriously. Now is the time to gather your research, your budget, and your list of benefits. Make sure to have them with you when you talk to your parents.
Try making an outline of the points you want to bring up. Don't be afraid to rely on your notes as you speak. Again, this will just show your parents that you are being thorough.
3-2. Pay attention to timing.
Make sure that you catch your mom or dad at a good time. Don't interrupt if they are busy with something else. It is also a good idea to avoid trying to have this conversation as they are leaving for work, or just arriving home.
Try starting the conversation by asking, "Is this a good time to talk?". If the answer is no, ask when you can have an important conversation.
3-3. Choose your words carefully.
Make sure to be clear and direct. You want your parents to know what you are asking for, and why. Be specific, and include details. Give yourself time to make your case, and give your parents time to consider your request.
Avoid making demands. For example, don't tell your parents that they "have" to give you an allowance. Even if your parents say no to your request, being polite and understanding will go a very long way should you ask again or ask for something else.
Try to use "I" statements. This method of communication will convey that you are responsible and mature. For example, say "I have been doing my chores, and I feel that I am earning an allowance." This is more effective than "You need to give me an allowance."
3-4. Be respectful.
Everyone wants to be treated with respect, including your parents. Speak to them in a friendly, reasonable tone of voice. Remember, they're people, too! Acknowledge that you appreciate their time. Thank them for taking the time to listen to you.
3-5. Listen to your parents.
Being an active listener is an important part of communication. Give your parents a chance to ask questions, and carefully consider what they are saying. When they give you an answer to your questions, listen to what they are saying and try to understand their reasoning.
Tips
Do not whine, cajole or complain. Such negative behavior will annoy your parents and lead to them refusing.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Your Case\\n1-1. Do some research.\\nIf you are reading this, then you are old enough to receive an allowance. Good news! Experts report that it is useful to start teaching children about financial responsibility as early as kindergarten. Studies show that kids who earn an allowance better understand the value of hard work.\\nAn allowance also teaches independence. When a child has their own money, they feel more in control of choices, such as what to spend that money on. For example, explain to your parents that you will be able to purchase your own video games, with their permission, of course.\\nGather some information, such as average allowance amounts, and how often most parents give their kids a set allowance. Most kids receive an allowance each week. Try asking your parents for a dollar for each year you have been alive. For example, if you are 10 years old, you would get $10 a week.\\nAsk your friends and classmates if they receive an allowance, and if so, how much. You can use this information when you make your case to your parents.\\n1-2. Prepare a budget.\\nYour parents will be more likely to listen if you can clearly explain why you need an allowance. Make a list of the things that you are likely to spend money on. Find out how much those items cost. This will give you a good idea of a specific amount of money to request from your parents.\\nIf you are new to making a budget, there are tools that you can use to help you. Look for free apps that you can put on your phone, or online programs that you can use. After you successfully receive your allowance, these tools can also help you keep track of your spending.\\nWhen you are listing budget items, make sure that you set aside some money for savings. Whether you intend to use your savings for a new bike or for college, your parents will appreciate that you are thinking ahead.\\n1-3. List the benefits.\\nGiving kids an allowance is a great way to teach kids financial responsibility. This is one of the key points that you should make when you are asking your parents for an allowance. There are also many other positive points that you can add to your request. Make a list of them as you prepare so that you don't forget any.\\nPoint out that financial responsibility leads to overall responsibility. When you learn to be in charge of one area of your life (such as buying your own video games), it is only natural that you will start to take on additional responsibilities.\\nAllowances can be used to teach social responsibility. Consider telling your parents that you would like to set aside a small portion of your allowance to give to charity. For example, if you love dogs, you could make small donations to your local animal shelter.\\nIf you have an allowance, you won't have to ask your parents every time you want something. This could be seen as a major benefit for both you and your folks!\\n2. Demonstrating Your Responsibility\\n2-1. Do your chores.\\nIf you are old enough to receive an allowance, then you probably have some role in helping out around the house. Whether you have a set list of chores to do, or you are just expected to pitch in when asked, make sure that you are completing all of your tasks. When you are getting ready to ask for an allowance, you want to show your parents that you know how to act responsibly.\\nGo the extra mile. For example, if your job is to put away your clean laundry, offer to put away your little brother's clothes, too. Your parents will definitely notice and appreciate the extra effort.\\n2-2. Obey the rules of the house.\\nEvery kid has certain rules that they are expected to follow. If you willingly follow your parents rules, this shows them that you are responsible and trustworthy. Make sure to consistently meet your parents' expectations. If they trust you to follow their rules, they will be more likely to trust you with money.\\nMake sure that you not only follow the rules, but that you do it without complaint. For example, if you are told to complete your homework before hanging out with your friends, do it without grumbling.\\n2-3. Volunteer.\\nFinding a way to volunteer is a great way to show your parents that you are giving back. This will demonstrate to them that you deserve an allowance. There are lots of volunteer opportunities for kids, no matter what your age. You could help out at a food bank, or pet the animals at your local shelter. If you choose an activity that matters to you, you'll even start to have fun.\\nYou can also volunteer within your own family. For example, offer to spend some extra time with your grandmother. Help her out around the house. This will show your parents that you are a caring person.\\n2-4. Show maturity.\\nBeing mature means that you are acting in a reasonable, responsible way. If you show your parents that you are growing up, they will be more likely to see you as someone who deserves an allowance. There are many ways that you can demonstrate maturity.\\nBe honest. Always tell your parents the truth. This will show them that they can trust you.\\nStay calm. Avoid throwing fits or whining if you don't get your way. Instead, remain calm and talk to your parents about your frustrations.\\n3. Communicating Effectively\\n3-1. Be prepared.\\nMake sure to plan the conversation that you want to have with your parents. Preparation will help you to stay organized and demonstrate that you take this talk seriously. Now is the time to gather your research, your budget, and your list of benefits. Make sure to have them with you when you talk to your parents.\\nTry making an outline of the points you want to bring up. Don't be afraid to rely on your notes as you speak. Again, this will just show your parents that you are being thorough.\\n3-2. Pay attention to timing.\\nMake sure that you catch your mom or dad at a good time. Don't interrupt if they are busy with something else. It is also a good idea to avoid trying to have this conversation as they are leaving for work, or just arriving home.\\nTry starting the conversation by asking, \\\"Is this a good time to talk?\\\". If the answer is no, ask when you can have an important conversation.\\n3-3. Choose your words carefully.\\nMake sure to be clear and direct. You want your parents to know what you are asking for, and why. Be specific, and include details. Give yourself time to make your case, and give your parents time to consider your request.\\nAvoid making demands. For example, don't tell your parents that they \\\"have\\\" to give you an allowance. Even if your parents say no to your request, being polite and understanding will go a very long way should you ask again or ask for something else.\\nTry to use \\\"I\\\" statements. This method of communication will convey that you are responsible and mature. For example, say \\\"I have been doing my chores, and I feel that I am earning an allowance.\\\" This is more effective than \\\"You need to give me an allowance.\\\"\\n3-4. Be respectful.\\nEveryone wants to be treated with respect, including your parents. Speak to them in a friendly, reasonable tone of voice. Remember, they're people, too! Acknowledge that you appreciate their time. Thank them for taking the time to listen to you.\\n3-5. Listen to your parents.\\nBeing an active listener is an important part of communication. Give your parents a chance to ask questions, and carefully consider what they are saying. When they give you an answer to your questions, listen to what they are saying and try to understand their reasoning.\\nTips\\nDo not whine, cajole or complain. Such negative behavior will annoy your parents and lead to them refusing.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Just because you don't have a paying job does not mean that you don't need some spending money. As a kid, there are many things that you can imagine buying if only you had some cash. Many parents give their children an allowance. An allowance is an ideal way for you to have a little financial independence. It is also a great way to demonstrate to your parents that you are responsible enough to handle money. There are several steps you can take when asking your parents for an allowance.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Your Case\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do some research.\", \"描述\": \"If you are reading this, then you are old enough to receive an allowance. Good news! Experts report that it is useful to start teaching children about financial responsibility as early as kindergarten. Studies show that kids who earn an allowance better understand the value of hard work.\\nAn allowance also teaches independence. When a child has their own money, they feel more in control of choices, such as what to spend that money on. For example, explain to your parents that you will be able to purchase your own video games, with their permission, of course.\\nGather some information, such as average allowance amounts, and how often most parents give their kids a set allowance. Most kids receive an allowance each week. Try asking your parents for a dollar for each year you have been alive. For example, if you are 10 years old, you would get $10 a week.\\nAsk your friends and classmates if they receive an allowance, and if so, how much. You can use this information when you make your case to your parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare a budget.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents will be more likely to listen if you can clearly explain why you need an allowance. Make a list of the things that you are likely to spend money on. Find out how much those items cost. This will give you a good idea of a specific amount of money to request from your parents.\\nIf you are new to making a budget, there are tools that you can use to help you. Look for free apps that you can put on your phone, or online programs that you can use. After you successfully receive your allowance, these tools can also help you keep track of your spending.\\nWhen you are listing budget items, make sure that you set aside some money for savings. Whether you intend to use your savings for a new bike or for college, your parents will appreciate that you are thinking ahead.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"List the benefits.\", \"描述\": \"Giving kids an allowance is a great way to teach kids financial responsibility. This is one of the key points that you should make when you are asking your parents for an allowance. There are also many other positive points that you can add to your request. Make a list of them as you prepare so that you don't forget any.\\nPoint out that financial responsibility leads to overall responsibility. When you learn to be in charge of one area of your life (such as buying your own video games), it is only natural that you will start to take on additional responsibilities.\\nAllowances can be used to teach social responsibility. Consider telling your parents that you would like to set aside a small portion of your allowance to give to charity. For example, if you love dogs, you could make small donations to your local animal shelter.\\nIf you have an allowance, you won't have to ask your parents every time you want something. This could be seen as a major benefit for both you and your folks!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Demonstrating Your Responsibility\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your chores.\", \"描述\": \"If you are old enough to receive an allowance, then you probably have some role in helping out around the house. Whether you have a set list of chores to do, or you are just expected to pitch in when asked, make sure that you are completing all of your tasks. When you are getting ready to ask for an allowance, you want to show your parents that you know how to act responsibly.\\nGo the extra mile. For example, if your job is to put away your clean laundry, offer to put away your little brother's clothes, too. Your parents will definitely notice and appreciate the extra effort.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Obey the rules of the house.\", \"描述\": \"Every kid has certain rules that they are expected to follow. If you willingly follow your parents rules, this shows them that you are responsible and trustworthy. Make sure to consistently meet your parents' expectations. If they trust you to follow their rules, they will be more likely to trust you with money.\\nMake sure that you not only follow the rules, but that you do it without complaint. For example, if you are told to complete your homework before hanging out with your friends, do it without grumbling.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Volunteer.\", \"描述\": \"Finding a way to volunteer is a great way to show your parents that you are giving back. This will demonstrate to them that you deserve an allowance. There are lots of volunteer opportunities for kids, no matter what your age. You could help out at a food bank, or pet the animals at your local shelter. If you choose an activity that matters to you, you'll even start to have fun.\\nYou can also volunteer within your own family. For example, offer to spend some extra time with your grandmother. Help her out around the house. This will show your parents that you are a caring person.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show maturity.\", \"描述\": \"Being mature means that you are acting in a reasonable, responsible way. If you show your parents that you are growing up, they will be more likely to see you as someone who deserves an allowance. There are many ways that you can demonstrate maturity.\\nBe honest. Always tell your parents the truth. This will show them that they can trust you.\\nStay calm. Avoid throwing fits or whining if you don't get your way. Instead, remain calm and talk to your parents about your frustrations.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicating Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be prepared.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to plan the conversation that you want to have with your parents. Preparation will help you to stay organized and demonstrate that you take this talk seriously. Now is the time to gather your research, your budget, and your list of benefits. Make sure to have them with you when you talk to your parents.\\nTry making an outline of the points you want to bring up. Don't be afraid to rely on your notes as you speak. Again, this will just show your parents that you are being thorough.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to timing.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you catch your mom or dad at a good time. Don't interrupt if they are busy with something else. It is also a good idea to avoid trying to have this conversation as they are leaving for work, or just arriving home.\\nTry starting the conversation by asking, \\\"Is this a good time to talk?\\\". If the answer is no, ask when you can have an important conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose your words carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to be clear and direct. You want your parents to know what you are asking for, and why. Be specific, and include details. Give yourself time to make your case, and give your parents time to consider your request.\\nAvoid making demands. For example, don't tell your parents that they \\\"have\\\" to give you an allowance. Even if your parents say no to your request, being polite and understanding will go a very long way should you ask again or ask for something else.\\nTry to use \\\"I\\\" statements. This method of communication will convey that you are responsible and mature. For example, say \\\"I have been doing my chores, and I feel that I am earning an allowance.\\\" This is more effective than \\\"You need to give me an allowance.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone wants to be treated with respect, including your parents. Speak to them in a friendly, reasonable tone of voice. Remember, they're people, too! Acknowledge that you appreciate their time. Thank them for taking the time to listen to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen to your parents.\", \"描述\": \"Being an active listener is an important part of communication. Give your parents a chance to ask questions, and carefully consider what they are saying. When they give you an answer to your questions, listen to what they are saying and try to understand their reasoning.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do not whine, cajole or complain. Such negative behavior will annoy your parents and lead to them refusing.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,448 | How to Ask For an Increase in Allowance | 1. Evaluating Your Allowance
1-1. Track your spending.
Create a spending report by keeping a careful record of exactly what you are spending during a specific period, such as one week or one month. List your income during that time, then subtract your spending to determine your cash flow.
For each item, list what type of expense it is, like clothing, food, activities, or school supplies.
Make additional notes for special expenses, like birthday or holiday gifts, big purchases, or loans.
Save your receipts. Small or trivial purchases are easy to forget, and saving all receipts ensures every last purchase is tracked.
1-2. Evaluate your wants versus needs.
Make two lists detailing items that you want and items that you need. Cross out items that your parent(s) or guardian(s) already provide you. Determine which purchases are most important to you.
Be realistic about how you define your wants and needs. You need school supplies, while you want toys.
Determine how much of your allowance would be required to buy your want item. If it seems a bit rich, you may not want it as much as the others. Scratch it off your list and focus on everything else.
Considering an item as non-necessary or unimportant doesn't necessarily mean you should eliminate it from your list. List those big ticket purchases as "goals" to save toward.
1-3. Figure out your new allowance.
Based on your spending report, did you spend more on necessities than you earned? If so, you can add that difference to your current allowance to determine the amount for which you should ask. Here are few other great methods.
Try asking for a percentage increase. Figure out what 5%, 10%, or some other percentage of your allowance is, and ask for that value.
Use a formula based on your age. For example, your allowance would be $1 for each year of your age. So, a 10 year-old would earn $10 per week.
If your allowance is based on chore completion, consider asking for a raise in the price of tasks that are more difficult or require more time. Also, think of new chores you could complete for an allowance raise.
Your allowance should generally reflect your responsibilities. If you are only responsible for buying non-essential items (e.g. games, jewelry, candy), then minimize any surplus for necessities like clothes your parents buy.
Ask if you can earn allowance bonuses for good grades. Determine a dollar value for each grade and convince your parents of this concept's merits.
1-4. Make a plan for your spending.
Create categories for your money, like savings, spending, and charity. Set realistic spending limits for each category. Include plans for how you will be spending you potential allowance increase.
2. Presenting Your Case
2-1. Be organized.
Take your time and develop an effective presentation of your ideas. Create a PowerPoint, use a poster board, make graphs, or simply write a detailed outline of what you are going to say. Dressing sharply and treating it professionally could help your cause.
2-2. Be proactive.
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Think ahead about how the discussion may go and plan ahead. A few suggestions follow:
Provide straightforward and serious answers. Indicate you can handle the responsibility of an increased allowance.
Create a mock script of possible rebuttals to your proposal and have specific answers prepared. For instance, your parents may ask, "Why do you deserve more money?"
Justify yourself by saying, "I have worked hard on my grades and have taken on extra chores."
Perhaps something straightforward such as, "I'm older now, and raising my allowance is appropriate as I age."
Work their heart-strings with, "I'd like to buy newer clothes to fit in."
Start doing extra chores well in advance of asking for the increase. Having extra work to reference can be used as a greater worth bargaining tool.
Prepare yourself for setbacks. For a few days prior to the negotiation, practice calm, composed replies for moments of frustration. Again, you want to give the impression that you are mature enough to manage your money.
2-3. Negotiate
Be prepared to compromise. Negotiating is basically an exchange of ideas until both groups can agree. Your willingness to cooperate will keep the discussion running smoothly.
Have a few options prepared for you parent(s) or guardian(s) to consider, such as raising your allowance by a certain amount, having them cover specific items, or increasing the amount or worth of chores.
Present your ideal amount or scenario first, then work your way down to your least favorable.
Once you have all agreed upon a new allowance, write that amount and any new conditions or responsibilities of the allowance you have to fulfill.
2-4. Be considerate.
The right timing can be a make-or-break factor in getting your desired allowance. Try to schedule a time to talk that works for all involved.
Think about your household's financial situation. If money is tight at the moment, it may not be the right time to get a raise on your allowance.
Approach your parent(s) or guardian(s) when they aren't busy or stressed. Their mood could affect their willingness to increase your allowance.
Stay calm and collected in your approach, and use a respectful tone of voice. Remembering to include the magic words (i.e. please, thank you, you're welcome, excuse me, and I'm sorry) wherever applicable conveys sincerity, respect, and consideration.
3. Creating a Backup Plan
3-1. Ask for creative financing.
If you are requesting the extra allowance so you can buy a specific item, consider asking your parent(s) or guardian(s) to aid you in other ways. Try a few of the following options.
Inquire about a loan. Perhaps you could get some money early if you are willing to pay it back incrementally.
Ask for an advance. They might be willing to give you the allowance from a future week or month.
Layaway is a great option. There may not be enough funds to buy what you want immediately, so have your parents put it on layaway to keep it reserved just for you. It will be yours in no time.
3-2. Investigate other financial opportunities.
If you can't have your allowance increased, consider other ways to make money. Within your household, discuss taking on big cleaning or organizing projects for one-time payments.
Ask neighbors and friends if they need any help with yard-work, babysitting, or pet-walking to make some extra money.
See if your parents would be willing to price match the money you make from your hard work. Just like a 401K, suggest your parents match a certain percentage of the money you're willing to save.
Raise some funds through online selling. Ask your parents to help go through your items, like your old clothes, to describe, list, and take photos to maximize online selling potential.
3-3. Use what you have.
Cut back on all non-essential spending and use budget planning to make the most out of your allowance. Look for less expensive alternatives for items and activities to show your parents how responsible you are with money, and how you would use extra money wisely. Here are a few options:
Instead of seeing a movie on opening night, consider visiting the dollar theater. Not only is the movie ticket cheaper, but theaters often offer discounted concessions to entice more patrons.
Buy used video games. Try a local retailer, online retailer, or online marketplace to find a discounted price. You may even be able to trade in the games you no longer want for store credit.
Shop at a thrift store or a yard sale. Not only will the cost savings display a thriftiness and responsibility to your parents, but you could also stumble upon the newest or vintage fashion trend.
3-4. Re-approach at another time.
If your presentation for an allowance raise was unsuccessful, re-evaluate your approach and try again at a later time. Determine why you were denied the increased allowance and try to fix that problem on your next attempt. You may be better prepared then to express your idea, and your parent(s) or guardian(s) might be better able to approve your extra allowance.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Evaluating Your Allowance\\n1-1. Track your spending.\\nCreate a spending report by keeping a careful record of exactly what you are spending during a specific period, such as one week or one month. List your income during that time, then subtract your spending to determine your cash flow.\\nFor each item, list what type of expense it is, like clothing, food, activities, or school supplies. \\nMake additional notes for special expenses, like birthday or holiday gifts, big purchases, or loans.\\nSave your receipts. Small or trivial purchases are easy to forget, and saving all receipts ensures every last purchase is tracked.\\n1-2. Evaluate your wants versus needs.\\nMake two lists detailing items that you want and items that you need. Cross out items that your parent(s) or guardian(s) already provide you. Determine which purchases are most important to you.\\nBe realistic about how you define your wants and needs. You need school supplies, while you want toys.\\nDetermine how much of your allowance would be required to buy your want item. If it seems a bit rich, you may not want it as much as the others. Scratch it off your list and focus on everything else.\\nConsidering an item as non-necessary or unimportant doesn't necessarily mean you should eliminate it from your list. List those big ticket purchases as \\\"goals\\\" to save toward.\\n1-3. Figure out your new allowance.\\nBased on your spending report, did you spend more on necessities than you earned? If so, you can add that difference to your current allowance to determine the amount for which you should ask. Here are few other great methods.\\nTry asking for a percentage increase. Figure out what 5%, 10%, or some other percentage of your allowance is, and ask for that value.\\nUse a formula based on your age. For example, your allowance would be $1 for each year of your age. So, a 10 year-old would earn $10 per week.\\nIf your allowance is based on chore completion, consider asking for a raise in the price of tasks that are more difficult or require more time. Also, think of new chores you could complete for an allowance raise.\\nYour allowance should generally reflect your responsibilities. If you are only responsible for buying non-essential items (e.g. games, jewelry, candy), then minimize any surplus for necessities like clothes your parents buy.\\nAsk if you can earn allowance bonuses for good grades. Determine a dollar value for each grade and convince your parents of this concept's merits.\\n1-4. Make a plan for your spending.\\nCreate categories for your money, like savings, spending, and charity. Set realistic spending limits for each category. Include plans for how you will be spending you potential allowance increase.\\n2. Presenting Your Case\\n2-1. Be organized.\\nTake your time and develop an effective presentation of your ideas. Create a PowerPoint, use a poster board, make graphs, or simply write a detailed outline of what you are going to say. Dressing sharply and treating it professionally could help your cause.\\n2-2. Be proactive.\\nLuck is when preparation meets opportunity. Think ahead about how the discussion may go and plan ahead. A few suggestions follow:\\nProvide straightforward and serious answers. Indicate you can handle the responsibility of an increased allowance.\\nCreate a mock script of possible rebuttals to your proposal and have specific answers prepared. For instance, your parents may ask, \\\"Why do you deserve more money?\\\"\\nJustify yourself by saying, \\\"I have worked hard on my grades and have taken on extra chores.\\\"\\nPerhaps something straightforward such as, \\\"I'm older now, and raising my allowance is appropriate as I age.\\\"\\nWork their heart-strings with, \\\"I'd like to buy newer clothes to fit in.\\\"\\n\\nStart doing extra chores well in advance of asking for the increase. Having extra work to reference can be used as a greater worth bargaining tool.\\nPrepare yourself for setbacks. For a few days prior to the negotiation, practice calm, composed replies for moments of frustration. Again, you want to give the impression that you are mature enough to manage your money.\\n2-3. Negotiate\\nBe prepared to compromise. Negotiating is basically an exchange of ideas until both groups can agree. Your willingness to cooperate will keep the discussion running smoothly.\\nHave a few options prepared for you parent(s) or guardian(s) to consider, such as raising your allowance by a certain amount, having them cover specific items, or increasing the amount or worth of chores.\\nPresent your ideal amount or scenario first, then work your way down to your least favorable.\\nOnce you have all agreed upon a new allowance, write that amount and any new conditions or responsibilities of the allowance you have to fulfill.\\n2-4. Be considerate.\\nThe right timing can be a make-or-break factor in getting your desired allowance. Try to schedule a time to talk that works for all involved.\\nThink about your household's financial situation. If money is tight at the moment, it may not be the right time to get a raise on your allowance.\\nApproach your parent(s) or guardian(s) when they aren't busy or stressed. Their mood could affect their willingness to increase your allowance.\\nStay calm and collected in your approach, and use a respectful tone of voice. Remembering to include the magic words (i.e. please, thank you, you're welcome, excuse me, and I'm sorry) wherever applicable conveys sincerity, respect, and consideration.\\n3. Creating a Backup Plan\\n3-1. Ask for creative financing.\\nIf you are requesting the extra allowance so you can buy a specific item, consider asking your parent(s) or guardian(s) to aid you in other ways. Try a few of the following options.\\nInquire about a loan. Perhaps you could get some money early if you are willing to pay it back incrementally.\\nAsk for an advance. They might be willing to give you the allowance from a future week or month.\\nLayaway is a great option. There may not be enough funds to buy what you want immediately, so have your parents put it on layaway to keep it reserved just for you. It will be yours in no time.\\n3-2. Investigate other financial opportunities.\\nIf you can't have your allowance increased, consider other ways to make money. Within your household, discuss taking on big cleaning or organizing projects for one-time payments.\\nAsk neighbors and friends if they need any help with yard-work, babysitting, or pet-walking to make some extra money. \\nSee if your parents would be willing to price match the money you make from your hard work. Just like a 401K, suggest your parents match a certain percentage of the money you're willing to save.\\nRaise some funds through online selling. Ask your parents to help go through your items, like your old clothes, to describe, list, and take photos to maximize online selling potential.\\n3-3. Use what you have.\\nCut back on all non-essential spending and use budget planning to make the most out of your allowance. Look for less expensive alternatives for items and activities to show your parents how responsible you are with money, and how you would use extra money wisely. Here are a few options:\\nInstead of seeing a movie on opening night, consider visiting the dollar theater. Not only is the movie ticket cheaper, but theaters often offer discounted concessions to entice more patrons.\\nBuy used video games. Try a local retailer, online retailer, or online marketplace to find a discounted price. You may even be able to trade in the games you no longer want for store credit.\\nShop at a thrift store or a yard sale. Not only will the cost savings display a thriftiness and responsibility to your parents, but you could also stumble upon the newest or vintage fashion trend.\\n3-4. Re-approach at another time.\\nIf your presentation for an allowance raise was unsuccessful, re-evaluate your approach and try again at a later time. Determine why you were denied the increased allowance and try to fix that problem on your next attempt. You may be better prepared then to express your idea, and your parent(s) or guardian(s) might be better able to approve your extra allowance.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you are looking to buy something specific or want a general raise, renegotiating your allowance is the opportunity to take further charge over your finances. Asking for an increase in your allowance requires evaluating your spending, developing a thoughtful strategy, and being willing to negotiate. Being able to effectively manage your allowance is a skill that will continue to be an advantage throughout your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Evaluating Your Allowance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Track your spending.\", \"描述\": \"Create a spending report by keeping a careful record of exactly what you are spending during a specific period, such as one week or one month. List your income during that time, then subtract your spending to determine your cash flow.\\nFor each item, list what type of expense it is, like clothing, food, activities, or school supplies. \\nMake additional notes for special expenses, like birthday or holiday gifts, big purchases, or loans.\\nSave your receipts. Small or trivial purchases are easy to forget, and saving all receipts ensures every last purchase is tracked.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluate your wants versus needs.\", \"描述\": \"Make two lists detailing items that you want and items that you need. Cross out items that your parent(s) or guardian(s) already provide you. Determine which purchases are most important to you.\\nBe realistic about how you define your wants and needs. You need school supplies, while you want toys.\\nDetermine how much of your allowance would be required to buy your want item. If it seems a bit rich, you may not want it as much as the others. Scratch it off your list and focus on everything else.\\nConsidering an item as non-necessary or unimportant doesn't necessarily mean you should eliminate it from your list. List those big ticket purchases as \\\"goals\\\" to save toward.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Figure out your new allowance.\", \"描述\": \"Based on your spending report, did you spend more on necessities than you earned? If so, you can add that difference to your current allowance to determine the amount for which you should ask. Here are few other great methods.\\nTry asking for a percentage increase. Figure out what 5%, 10%, or some other percentage of your allowance is, and ask for that value.\\nUse a formula based on your age. For example, your allowance would be $1 for each year of your age. So, a 10 year-old would earn $10 per week.\\nIf your allowance is based on chore completion, consider asking for a raise in the price of tasks that are more difficult or require more time. Also, think of new chores you could complete for an allowance raise.\\nYour allowance should generally reflect your responsibilities. If you are only responsible for buying non-essential items (e.g. games, jewelry, candy), then minimize any surplus for necessities like clothes your parents buy.\\nAsk if you can earn allowance bonuses for good grades. Determine a dollar value for each grade and convince your parents of this concept's merits.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a plan for your spending.\", \"描述\": \"Create categories for your money, like savings, spending, and charity. Set realistic spending limits for each category. Include plans for how you will be spending you potential allowance increase.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Presenting Your Case\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be organized.\", \"描述\": \"Take your time and develop an effective presentation of your ideas. Create a PowerPoint, use a poster board, make graphs, or simply write a detailed outline of what you are going to say. Dressing sharply and treating it professionally could help your cause.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be proactive.\", \"描述\": \"Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Think ahead about how the discussion may go and plan ahead. A few suggestions follow:\\nProvide straightforward and serious answers. Indicate you can handle the responsibility of an increased allowance.\\nCreate a mock script of possible rebuttals to your proposal and have specific answers prepared. For instance, your parents may ask, \\\"Why do you deserve more money?\\\"\\nJustify yourself by saying, \\\"I have worked hard on my grades and have taken on extra chores.\\\"\\nPerhaps something straightforward such as, \\\"I'm older now, and raising my allowance is appropriate as I age.\\\"\\nWork their heart-strings with, \\\"I'd like to buy newer clothes to fit in.\\\"\\n\\nStart doing extra chores well in advance of asking for the increase. Having extra work to reference can be used as a greater worth bargaining tool.\\nPrepare yourself for setbacks. For a few days prior to the negotiation, practice calm, composed replies for moments of frustration. Again, you want to give the impression that you are mature enough to manage your money.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Negotiate\", \"描述\": \"Be prepared to compromise. Negotiating is basically an exchange of ideas until both groups can agree. Your willingness to cooperate will keep the discussion running smoothly.\\nHave a few options prepared for you parent(s) or guardian(s) to consider, such as raising your allowance by a certain amount, having them cover specific items, or increasing the amount or worth of chores.\\nPresent your ideal amount or scenario first, then work your way down to your least favorable.\\nOnce you have all agreed upon a new allowance, write that amount and any new conditions or responsibilities of the allowance you have to fulfill.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be considerate.\", \"描述\": \"The right timing can be a make-or-break factor in getting your desired allowance. Try to schedule a time to talk that works for all involved.\\nThink about your household's financial situation. If money is tight at the moment, it may not be the right time to get a raise on your allowance.\\nApproach your parent(s) or guardian(s) when they aren't busy or stressed. Their mood could affect their willingness to increase your allowance.\\nStay calm and collected in your approach, and use a respectful tone of voice. Remembering to include the magic words (i.e. please, thank you, you're welcome, excuse me, and I'm sorry) wherever applicable conveys sincerity, respect, and consideration.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Creating a Backup Plan\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask for creative financing.\", \"描述\": \"If you are requesting the extra allowance so you can buy a specific item, consider asking your parent(s) or guardian(s) to aid you in other ways. Try a few of the following options.\\nInquire about a loan. Perhaps you could get some money early if you are willing to pay it back incrementally.\\nAsk for an advance. They might be willing to give you the allowance from a future week or month.\\nLayaway is a great option. There may not be enough funds to buy what you want immediately, so have your parents put it on layaway to keep it reserved just for you. It will be yours in no time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Investigate other financial opportunities.\", \"描述\": \"If you can't have your allowance increased, consider other ways to make money. Within your household, discuss taking on big cleaning or organizing projects for one-time payments.\\nAsk neighbors and friends if they need any help with yard-work, babysitting, or pet-walking to make some extra money. \\nSee if your parents would be willing to price match the money you make from your hard work. Just like a 401K, suggest your parents match a certain percentage of the money you're willing to save.\\nRaise some funds through online selling. Ask your parents to help go through your items, like your old clothes, to describe, list, and take photos to maximize online selling potential.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use what you have.\", \"描述\": \"Cut back on all non-essential spending and use budget planning to make the most out of your allowance. Look for less expensive alternatives for items and activities to show your parents how responsible you are with money, and how you would use extra money wisely. Here are a few options:\\nInstead of seeing a movie on opening night, consider visiting the dollar theater. Not only is the movie ticket cheaper, but theaters often offer discounted concessions to entice more patrons.\\nBuy used video games. Try a local retailer, online retailer, or online marketplace to find a discounted price. You may even be able to trade in the games you no longer want for store credit.\\nShop at a thrift store or a yard sale. Not only will the cost savings display a thriftiness and responsibility to your parents, but you could also stumble upon the newest or vintage fashion trend.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Re-approach at another time.\", \"描述\": \"If your presentation for an allowance raise was unsuccessful, re-evaluate your approach and try again at a later time. Determine why you were denied the increased allowance and try to fix that problem on your next attempt. You may be better prepared then to express your idea, and your parent(s) or guardian(s) might be better able to approve your extra allowance.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,449 | How to Ask God for Forgiveness (Christianity) | 1. Confessing Your Sin
1-1. Name and admit the thing you’ve done.
Before asking forgiveness, you must specifically state the thing you did wrong and admit that you did it. If you’re feeling guilty, you may be tempted to make excuses or deny that you did anything wrong. Forgiveness is impossible if you don’t admit you did something wrong.
You may think, “I guess maybe I shouldn’t have lied, but I had a really good reason and it was a small lie.” You are trying to justify what you did rather than admitting to it.
Begin by praying, “Father, I took $5 from my brother without asking him for it.” You have named the sin (stealing) and you have taken the responsibility for it without making an excuse.
1-2. Tell God that you know what you did was wrong.
Once you have named what you did, it’s important to recognize that it was wrong. It’s possible to say what you’ve done but to not believe that you were wrong to do it. Admitting you did it is pointless if you do not admit that you know it was wrong.
You will not receive forgiveness if you say, “I’ve been sleeping with my co-worker even though I’m married, but I don’t see anything wrong with it.” You must recognize what you did as sin, as something God is unhappy about.
1-3. Say that you are sorry for what you did.
It is still not enough to say what you did and admit that it was wrong. Now you must apologize for it. Feel sincerely sorry for the wrong, and let that regret come through in what you say to God. It’s important that you are actually remorseful when you say you are sorry.
Asking forgiveness from God is not like when you say sorry to a brother but you really don’t mean it. It must be sincerely from your heart.
Say something like, “I know that what I did was wrong, and I feel truly bad for it. I’m sorry that I broke our relationship. I’m sorry for sinning against you.”
2. Asking for Forgiveness
2-1. Pray about what you’re feeling.
You must always be honest when you are asking for forgiveness. If you believe that God knows your heart anyway, there is no sense in lying to him. Tell him the guilt you feel for your sin, and that being separated from him has made you sad.
Say, “God, I feel sick to my stomach because I know I have caused you pain.”
It can be good to pray aloud to God so that you are saying specifically what is on your mind as opposed to only thinking it.
2-2. Use scripture in your prayer.
God’s word is powerful, and he encourages you to use it when you speak to him. Since the words in the Bible come from God, they show a model for how to talk to God. Search your Bible, or online, to find scriptures about asking for forgiveness. Use those to make your prayer meaningful.
Look these scriptures up and pray them in your prayer: Romans 6:23, John 3:16, 1 John 2:2. These scriptures talk about forgiveness. The New Testament is full of truth about forgiveness.
Search on your own and find scriptures that speak to you about the forgiveness you’re seeking. You can repeat the scripture verbatim or paraphrase it so it means more to you.
2-3. Ask God to forgive you for what you’ve done.
Just as you would with other people, after saying you are sorry you must ask to be forgiven. There is no special prayer you have to pray to earn forgiveness from God. All you have to do is ask him to forgive you, through Jesus Christ, and believe that he will forgive you.
Say to God, “I denied knowing you to my friend. It was wrong and cowardly for me to do that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell him about your love for us. Please forgive me for my weakness in that moment."
You do not need to plead, beg, or repeat yourself over and over. Asking God one time, with a genuine heart, is all you have to do.
2-4. Tell God that you believe He has forgiven you.
Belief and forgiveness go hand in hand. It’s no good to ask for forgiveness but not believe God will forgive you. God says that when you ask him to forgive you with sincere hearts that is He is faithful to forgive. Tell yourself you believe Him and tell God you believe Him.
1 John 1:9 tells you that, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Say this scripture to God and believe it.
It’s important to remember that forgiven sins are forgotten. Hebrews 8:12 says, "For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”
3. Moving Forward
3-1. Seek forgiveness from people you hurt by what you did.
Although sin ultimately breaks relationship with God, other people are often hurt, too. When you know that God has forgiven you, it’s important to seek forgiveness from others. Tell the person you are sorry you hurt them and ask them to forgive you.
Remember that you can’t make someone forgive you, and you can’t earn it from them. They will either accept that you are sorry for what you did and forgive you, or they won’t. Don’t pester them if they refuse to forgive. You can’t make them change.
Once you have apologized and asked for someone’s forgiveness, you must release yourself from the guilt. Even if they don’t forgive you, you’ve done your part in seeking to make amends.
3-2. Repent of the wrong behavior.
Once you are forgiven by God for your sin and by others for any hurt you caused, you must turn away from that sin. Make a conscious decision that you will not purposefully commit the same sin again after being forgiven.
You must remember that you will always sin again, but it’s important to say in the moment that you are turning away. The only way to get further from habitual sin is to tell yourself you are not going to do it again.
Acts 2:38 is helpful in this process. It says, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
Forgiveness is an important step, but walking away from sin is necessary, too, to remain close to God.
3-3. Work to keep from doing the same wrong thing again.
Part of your goal in following Christ is to move further from sin, and this takes committed work. You won’t stop sinning immediately, but if you work on it, you will grow stronger. In Matthew 5:48, God calls you to become perfect, as he is perfect. It’s a goal that you must work toward.
Find people who can help you avoid repeated sins. Learn scripture to combat temptation. Remember that sin only harms and you don’t need it.
Spending time reading your Bible, praying to God, and talking with other Christians are all vitally important to living a life that is free of sin.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Confessing Your Sin\\n1-1. Name and admit the thing you’ve done.\\nBefore asking forgiveness, you must specifically state the thing you did wrong and admit that you did it. If you’re feeling guilty, you may be tempted to make excuses or deny that you did anything wrong. Forgiveness is impossible if you don’t admit you did something wrong.\\nYou may think, “I guess maybe I shouldn’t have lied, but I had a really good reason and it was a small lie.” You are trying to justify what you did rather than admitting to it.\\nBegin by praying, “Father, I took $5 from my brother without asking him for it.” You have named the sin (stealing) and you have taken the responsibility for it without making an excuse.\\n1-2. Tell God that you know what you did was wrong.\\nOnce you have named what you did, it’s important to recognize that it was wrong. It’s possible to say what you’ve done but to not believe that you were wrong to do it. Admitting you did it is pointless if you do not admit that you know it was wrong.\\nYou will not receive forgiveness if you say, “I’ve been sleeping with my co-worker even though I’m married, but I don’t see anything wrong with it.” You must recognize what you did as sin, as something God is unhappy about.\\n1-3. Say that you are sorry for what you did.\\nIt is still not enough to say what you did and admit that it was wrong. Now you must apologize for it. Feel sincerely sorry for the wrong, and let that regret come through in what you say to God. It’s important that you are actually remorseful when you say you are sorry.\\nAsking forgiveness from God is not like when you say sorry to a brother but you really don’t mean it. It must be sincerely from your heart.\\nSay something like, “I know that what I did was wrong, and I feel truly bad for it. I’m sorry that I broke our relationship. I’m sorry for sinning against you.”\\n2. Asking for Forgiveness\\n2-1. Pray about what you’re feeling.\\nYou must always be honest when you are asking for forgiveness. If you believe that God knows your heart anyway, there is no sense in lying to him. Tell him the guilt you feel for your sin, and that being separated from him has made you sad.\\nSay, “God, I feel sick to my stomach because I know I have caused you pain.”\\nIt can be good to pray aloud to God so that you are saying specifically what is on your mind as opposed to only thinking it.\\n2-2. Use scripture in your prayer.\\nGod’s word is powerful, and he encourages you to use it when you speak to him. Since the words in the Bible come from God, they show a model for how to talk to God. Search your Bible, or online, to find scriptures about asking for forgiveness. Use those to make your prayer meaningful.\\nLook these scriptures up and pray them in your prayer: Romans 6:23, John 3:16, 1 John 2:2. These scriptures talk about forgiveness. The New Testament is full of truth about forgiveness.\\nSearch on your own and find scriptures that speak to you about the forgiveness you’re seeking. You can repeat the scripture verbatim or paraphrase it so it means more to you.\\n2-3. Ask God to forgive you for what you’ve done.\\nJust as you would with other people, after saying you are sorry you must ask to be forgiven. There is no special prayer you have to pray to earn forgiveness from God. All you have to do is ask him to forgive you, through Jesus Christ, and believe that he will forgive you.\\nSay to God, “I denied knowing you to my friend. It was wrong and cowardly for me to do that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell him about your love for us. Please forgive me for my weakness in that moment.\\\"\\nYou do not need to plead, beg, or repeat yourself over and over. Asking God one time, with a genuine heart, is all you have to do.\\n2-4. Tell God that you believe He has forgiven you.\\nBelief and forgiveness go hand in hand. It’s no good to ask for forgiveness but not believe God will forgive you. God says that when you ask him to forgive you with sincere hearts that is He is faithful to forgive. Tell yourself you believe Him and tell God you believe Him.\\n1 John 1:9 tells you that, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Say this scripture to God and believe it.\\nIt’s important to remember that forgiven sins are forgotten. Hebrews 8:12 says, \\\"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”\\n3. Moving Forward\\n3-1. Seek forgiveness from people you hurt by what you did.\\nAlthough sin ultimately breaks relationship with God, other people are often hurt, too. When you know that God has forgiven you, it’s important to seek forgiveness from others. Tell the person you are sorry you hurt them and ask them to forgive you.\\nRemember that you can’t make someone forgive you, and you can’t earn it from them. They will either accept that you are sorry for what you did and forgive you, or they won’t. Don’t pester them if they refuse to forgive. You can’t make them change.\\nOnce you have apologized and asked for someone’s forgiveness, you must release yourself from the guilt. Even if they don’t forgive you, you’ve done your part in seeking to make amends.\\n3-2. Repent of the wrong behavior.\\nOnce you are forgiven by God for your sin and by others for any hurt you caused, you must turn away from that sin. Make a conscious decision that you will not purposefully commit the same sin again after being forgiven.\\nYou must remember that you will always sin again, but it’s important to say in the moment that you are turning away. The only way to get further from habitual sin is to tell yourself you are not going to do it again.\\nActs 2:38 is helpful in this process. It says, \\\"Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”\\nForgiveness is an important step, but walking away from sin is necessary, too, to remain close to God.\\n3-3. Work to keep from doing the same wrong thing again.\\nPart of your goal in following Christ is to move further from sin, and this takes committed work. You won’t stop sinning immediately, but if you work on it, you will grow stronger. In Matthew 5:48, God calls you to become perfect, as he is perfect. It’s a goal that you must work toward.\\nFind people who can help you avoid repeated sins. Learn scripture to combat temptation. Remember that sin only harms and you don’t need it.\\nSpending time reading your Bible, praying to God, and talking with other Christians are all vitally important to living a life that is free of sin.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking God to forgive your sins is an important process. It is important that you admit what you did wrong and truly feel sorry that you did it. You must come to God, pray using scripture, and ask Him to forgive you. Then you must believe that he has. After you are forgiven, work on leaving sin behind and living a new life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Confessing Your Sin\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Name and admit the thing you’ve done.\", \"描述\": \"Before asking forgiveness, you must specifically state the thing you did wrong and admit that you did it. If you’re feeling guilty, you may be tempted to make excuses or deny that you did anything wrong. Forgiveness is impossible if you don’t admit you did something wrong.\\nYou may think, “I guess maybe I shouldn’t have lied, but I had a really good reason and it was a small lie.” You are trying to justify what you did rather than admitting to it.\\nBegin by praying, “Father, I took $5 from my brother without asking him for it.” You have named the sin (stealing) and you have taken the responsibility for it without making an excuse.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell God that you know what you did was wrong.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have named what you did, it’s important to recognize that it was wrong. It’s possible to say what you’ve done but to not believe that you were wrong to do it. Admitting you did it is pointless if you do not admit that you know it was wrong.\\nYou will not receive forgiveness if you say, “I’ve been sleeping with my co-worker even though I’m married, but I don’t see anything wrong with it.” You must recognize what you did as sin, as something God is unhappy about.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say that you are sorry for what you did.\", \"描述\": \"It is still not enough to say what you did and admit that it was wrong. Now you must apologize for it. Feel sincerely sorry for the wrong, and let that regret come through in what you say to God. It’s important that you are actually remorseful when you say you are sorry.\\nAsking forgiveness from God is not like when you say sorry to a brother but you really don’t mean it. It must be sincerely from your heart.\\nSay something like, “I know that what I did was wrong, and I feel truly bad for it. I’m sorry that I broke our relationship. I’m sorry for sinning against you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking for Forgiveness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pray about what you’re feeling.\", \"描述\": \"You must always be honest when you are asking for forgiveness. If you believe that God knows your heart anyway, there is no sense in lying to him. Tell him the guilt you feel for your sin, and that being separated from him has made you sad.\\nSay, “God, I feel sick to my stomach because I know I have caused you pain.”\\nIt can be good to pray aloud to God so that you are saying specifically what is on your mind as opposed to only thinking it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use scripture in your prayer.\", \"描述\": \"God’s word is powerful, and he encourages you to use it when you speak to him. Since the words in the Bible come from God, they show a model for how to talk to God. Search your Bible, or online, to find scriptures about asking for forgiveness. Use those to make your prayer meaningful.\\nLook these scriptures up and pray them in your prayer: Romans 6:23, John 3:16, 1 John 2:2. These scriptures talk about forgiveness. The New Testament is full of truth about forgiveness.\\nSearch on your own and find scriptures that speak to you about the forgiveness you’re seeking. You can repeat the scripture verbatim or paraphrase it so it means more to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask God to forgive you for what you’ve done.\", \"描述\": \"Just as you would with other people, after saying you are sorry you must ask to be forgiven. There is no special prayer you have to pray to earn forgiveness from God. All you have to do is ask him to forgive you, through Jesus Christ, and believe that he will forgive you.\\nSay to God, “I denied knowing you to my friend. It was wrong and cowardly for me to do that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell him about your love for us. Please forgive me for my weakness in that moment.\\\"\\nYou do not need to plead, beg, or repeat yourself over and over. Asking God one time, with a genuine heart, is all you have to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell God that you believe He has forgiven you.\", \"描述\": \"Belief and forgiveness go hand in hand. It’s no good to ask for forgiveness but not believe God will forgive you. God says that when you ask him to forgive you with sincere hearts that is He is faithful to forgive. Tell yourself you believe Him and tell God you believe Him.\\n1 John 1:9 tells you that, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Say this scripture to God and believe it.\\nIt’s important to remember that forgiven sins are forgotten. Hebrews 8:12 says, \\\"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Moving Forward\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Seek forgiveness from people you hurt by what you did.\", \"描述\": \"Although sin ultimately breaks relationship with God, other people are often hurt, too. When you know that God has forgiven you, it’s important to seek forgiveness from others. Tell the person you are sorry you hurt them and ask them to forgive you.\\nRemember that you can’t make someone forgive you, and you can’t earn it from them. They will either accept that you are sorry for what you did and forgive you, or they won’t. Don’t pester them if they refuse to forgive. You can’t make them change.\\nOnce you have apologized and asked for someone’s forgiveness, you must release yourself from the guilt. Even if they don’t forgive you, you’ve done your part in seeking to make amends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Repent of the wrong behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Once you are forgiven by God for your sin and by others for any hurt you caused, you must turn away from that sin. Make a conscious decision that you will not purposefully commit the same sin again after being forgiven.\\nYou must remember that you will always sin again, but it’s important to say in the moment that you are turning away. The only way to get further from habitual sin is to tell yourself you are not going to do it again.\\nActs 2:38 is helpful in this process. It says, \\\"Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”\\nForgiveness is an important step, but walking away from sin is necessary, too, to remain close to God.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work to keep from doing the same wrong thing again.\", \"描述\": \"Part of your goal in following Christ is to move further from sin, and this takes committed work. You won’t stop sinning immediately, but if you work on it, you will grow stronger. In Matthew 5:48, God calls you to become perfect, as he is perfect. It’s a goal that you must work toward.\\nFind people who can help you avoid repeated sins. Learn scripture to combat temptation. Remember that sin only harms and you don’t need it.\\nSpending time reading your Bible, praying to God, and talking with other Christians are all vitally important to living a life that is free of sin.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,450 | How to Ask God for Something (Christianity) | 1. Connecting with God
1-1. Build a relationship with God.
God will hear your prayers whether or not you are following Him, but He is more likely to answer those who are close to Him. If you’ve never started reading God’s Word and following Jesus, that’s a good step before you ask Him for something. Learn to listen and obey what He asks of you.
This is not to say that He won’t grant your request if you aren’t a follower. It simply means that you’ll be better able to communicate with Him if you have a relationship with Him.
Think about the difference between a stranger and your best friend. If a friend asks to borrow some money or a stranger on the street asks, you’d be more likely to give to your friend. It’s not a perfect comparison, but it’s similar.
1-2. Praise God and give thanks first.
When you come to God in prayer, don’t go straight to asking for something. It is better to praise Him and thank Him for what He has already done. Praise Him for being loving and mighty. Thank Him for guiding you and blessing you. Beginning this way shows God that He is more than someone you ask for things.
Praise and thanks must be genuine, not a tactic to butter God up so you can ask for what you want. You must really mean what you pray.
Start by saying, “God, it’s amazing how well you have taken care of me and provided for me. I’m thankful that you are strong and that you never turn away from me.”
1-3. Confess and repent of sin.
After you have a relationship with God, it is important to make sure you’re on good terms with Him. If you are living in ongoing sin, or you’ve committed sins recently, you are separated from God. You must confess those things and turn away from them. This will mend the broken connection with God.
The reason this is important is that sin means going against what God wants from you. When you sin, you separate yourself from God.
To confess and repent simply means to tell God that you know you have sinned, that you are sorry, and that you want to change.
Pray to God, “I’m sorry I was so rude to my neighbor. I know you love him too, and I should treat him as you want me to. I will work harder at being patient and kind to him.”
1-4. Ask God for forgiveness
Along with confessing and repenting, ask God to forgive you for those sins. Seeking forgiveness is the step that has to follow confession. Once God has forgiven you, the lines of communication will be much more open between you and God.
There is not a specific prayer of forgiveness you must pray. Tell God that you are sorry and that you want Him to forgive you for wronging Him.
Pray, “God, I’m sorry for lying about what I did last night. I should not have done that. Please forgive me for my dishonesty.”
1-5. Make amends with other people.
If you are angry or have hurt someone, it’s hard to pray an honest prayer to God. Take a minute to think about any relationships you have that are out of sync and make an effort to fix those first. Resolving problems with others opens you up more to asking something from God.
It’s not enough to think of what’s wrong if you don’t make an effort to fix it. Get in touch with the person and seek reconciliation before going to God.
Apologize to them or forgive them, depending on what is wrong between you.
1-6. Pray against evil that may be around you.
If you are living for God, you may have evil that is against you, holding you back from God. Pray that God would remove any spirits who seek to keep you distant and distracted from God. Spiritual warfare will keep you from being able to effectively communicate with God.
It may be worth your time to learn more about what spiritual warfare is and how it can affect your prayer life and living for God.
Pray, “God, I feel like there is evil that is surrounding me. In Jesus' name, please rebuke these spirits. Do not let them come between us. Tell them that they have no power over me.”
2. Praying for What You Want
2-1. Be honest with God about what you are feeling.
God knows everything you think and feel, so there is no sense in hiding. As you are asking for what you want, be completely honest about your thoughts and feelings. Honesty will open God’s ears to your prayers.
2-2. Ask God specifically for what you want.
Tell God what you want or need and ask Him to provide that for you. Be specific about your request. Even though God knows what you want and need, He wants you to ask Him for it. God can answer vague prayers, but being specific creates a deeper bond between you and Him.
Being specific does not guarantee that God will answer your request in the way you want Him to. He may have other plans for you.
Say to God, “I’m hurting for rent money this month because of the doctor bills. Please let me pick up some extra hours at work so that I can pay my rent.”
Remember that God will not give you something that goes against His will. Check your heart and check the Bible to see if what you are asking for is against His will.
2-3. Invite God to work in the ways He wants to work.
Although you may have many specific things you want from God, another good thing to pray is that His will be done in your life. Ask Him to move and use you however He wants, not only how you want. Ask Him to help you want the things that He wants for you.
The benefits of praying in this way are many. Although you may know exactly what you want, God may have much more for you than you could think to ask for. If you only ask for the thing you want, you could miss out on a larger blessing.
Say to God, “Lord, I really want to start a new job this month, but I know that you might have something more in store for me during this time. I pray that you would show me your plans, even if it isn’t exactly what I want.”
2-4. Call on God to hurry in answering your request.
If you are asking God for something, you probably want Him to act quickly. Being honest with God means telling Him that you want Him to work quickly. He is on His own time, so it may not happen at the speed you want. It is still good to ask Him to hurry because you’re being honest about what you want.
2-5. Close by saying, “In Jesus' name.”
The Bible teaches that the name of Jesus Christ is powerful. Every time you pray, but especially when you are asking for something, end by saying, “I pray this in Jesus’ name.” This acknowledges that God moves through Jesus and that Jesus is powerful.
This is not like saying magic words, and it should not be used as a way to exploit God’s blessings. It is simply a way to show that you are submitting to God’s will through Christ.
3. Waiting for God to Answer Your Prayer
3-1. Be patient waiting for God to work.
Remember that God works on a different timeline than you do. If He doesn’t answer as quickly as you hoped, do not give up on Him. Wait on His timing and remember that there may be a reason He does not answer as quickly as you want Him to.
3-2. Continue to praise Him.
While you wait to hear God’s answer to your prayer, you must keep honoring Him and giving Him praise. It is important to be thankful and worshipful even when you haven’t received what you want yet. If you only praise Him when He acts as you want, your praise may not be genuine.
3-3. Trust that God will act according to His will.
If you don't believe that God has the power to act, your prayer loses power. You must believe that He has heard you and will act based on His will. If your request fits His plan, then he will grant what you want, but remember that God doesn't always answer the way you want Him to.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:47:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Connecting with God\\n1-1. Build a relationship with God.\\nGod will hear your prayers whether or not you are following Him, but He is more likely to answer those who are close to Him. If you’ve never started reading God’s Word and following Jesus, that’s a good step before you ask Him for something. Learn to listen and obey what He asks of you.\\nThis is not to say that He won’t grant your request if you aren’t a follower. It simply means that you’ll be better able to communicate with Him if you have a relationship with Him.\\nThink about the difference between a stranger and your best friend. If a friend asks to borrow some money or a stranger on the street asks, you’d be more likely to give to your friend. It’s not a perfect comparison, but it’s similar.\\n1-2. Praise God and give thanks first.\\nWhen you come to God in prayer, don’t go straight to asking for something. It is better to praise Him and thank Him for what He has already done. Praise Him for being loving and mighty. Thank Him for guiding you and blessing you. Beginning this way shows God that He is more than someone you ask for things.\\nPraise and thanks must be genuine, not a tactic to butter God up so you can ask for what you want. You must really mean what you pray.\\nStart by saying, “God, it’s amazing how well you have taken care of me and provided for me. I’m thankful that you are strong and that you never turn away from me.”\\n1-3. Confess and repent of sin.\\nAfter you have a relationship with God, it is important to make sure you’re on good terms with Him. If you are living in ongoing sin, or you’ve committed sins recently, you are separated from God. You must confess those things and turn away from them. This will mend the broken connection with God.\\nThe reason this is important is that sin means going against what God wants from you. When you sin, you separate yourself from God.\\nTo confess and repent simply means to tell God that you know you have sinned, that you are sorry, and that you want to change.\\nPray to God, “I’m sorry I was so rude to my neighbor. I know you love him too, and I should treat him as you want me to. I will work harder at being patient and kind to him.”\\n1-4. Ask God for forgiveness\\nAlong with confessing and repenting, ask God to forgive you for those sins. Seeking forgiveness is the step that has to follow confession. Once God has forgiven you, the lines of communication will be much more open between you and God.\\nThere is not a specific prayer of forgiveness you must pray. Tell God that you are sorry and that you want Him to forgive you for wronging Him.\\nPray, “God, I’m sorry for lying about what I did last night. I should not have done that. Please forgive me for my dishonesty.”\\n1-5. Make amends with other people.\\nIf you are angry or have hurt someone, it’s hard to pray an honest prayer to God. Take a minute to think about any relationships you have that are out of sync and make an effort to fix those first. Resolving problems with others opens you up more to asking something from God.\\nIt’s not enough to think of what’s wrong if you don’t make an effort to fix it. Get in touch with the person and seek reconciliation before going to God.\\nApologize to them or forgive them, depending on what is wrong between you.\\n1-6. Pray against evil that may be around you.\\nIf you are living for God, you may have evil that is against you, holding you back from God. Pray that God would remove any spirits who seek to keep you distant and distracted from God. Spiritual warfare will keep you from being able to effectively communicate with God.\\nIt may be worth your time to learn more about what spiritual warfare is and how it can affect your prayer life and living for God.\\nPray, “God, I feel like there is evil that is surrounding me. In Jesus' name, please rebuke these spirits. Do not let them come between us. Tell them that they have no power over me.”\\n2. Praying for What You Want\\n2-1. Be honest with God about what you are feeling.\\nGod knows everything you think and feel, so there is no sense in hiding. As you are asking for what you want, be completely honest about your thoughts and feelings. Honesty will open God’s ears to your prayers.\\n2-2. Ask God specifically for what you want.\\nTell God what you want or need and ask Him to provide that for you. Be specific about your request. Even though God knows what you want and need, He wants you to ask Him for it. God can answer vague prayers, but being specific creates a deeper bond between you and Him.\\nBeing specific does not guarantee that God will answer your request in the way you want Him to. He may have other plans for you.\\nSay to God, “I’m hurting for rent money this month because of the doctor bills. Please let me pick up some extra hours at work so that I can pay my rent.”\\nRemember that God will not give you something that goes against His will. Check your heart and check the Bible to see if what you are asking for is against His will.\\n2-3. Invite God to work in the ways He wants to work.\\nAlthough you may have many specific things you want from God, another good thing to pray is that His will be done in your life. Ask Him to move and use you however He wants, not only how you want. Ask Him to help you want the things that He wants for you.\\nThe benefits of praying in this way are many. Although you may know exactly what you want, God may have much more for you than you could think to ask for. If you only ask for the thing you want, you could miss out on a larger blessing.\\nSay to God, “Lord, I really want to start a new job this month, but I know that you might have something more in store for me during this time. I pray that you would show me your plans, even if it isn’t exactly what I want.”\\n2-4. Call on God to hurry in answering your request.\\nIf you are asking God for something, you probably want Him to act quickly. Being honest with God means telling Him that you want Him to work quickly. He is on His own time, so it may not happen at the speed you want. It is still good to ask Him to hurry because you’re being honest about what you want.\\n2-5. Close by saying, “In Jesus' name.”\\nThe Bible teaches that the name of Jesus Christ is powerful. Every time you pray, but especially when you are asking for something, end by saying, “I pray this in Jesus’ name.” This acknowledges that God moves through Jesus and that Jesus is powerful.\\nThis is not like saying magic words, and it should not be used as a way to exploit God’s blessings. It is simply a way to show that you are submitting to God’s will through Christ.\\n3. Waiting for God to Answer Your Prayer\\n3-1. Be patient waiting for God to work.\\nRemember that God works on a different timeline than you do. If He doesn’t answer as quickly as you hoped, do not give up on Him. Wait on His timing and remember that there may be a reason He does not answer as quickly as you want Him to.\\n3-2. Continue to praise Him.\\nWhile you wait to hear God’s answer to your prayer, you must keep honoring Him and giving Him praise. It is important to be thankful and worshipful even when you haven’t received what you want yet. If you only praise Him when He acts as you want, your praise may not be genuine.\\n3-3. Trust that God will act according to His will.\\nIf you don't believe that God has the power to act, your prayer loses power. You must believe that He has heard you and will act based on His will. If your request fits His plan, then he will grant what you want, but remember that God doesn't always answer the way you want Him to.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You have something you want to ask God for, but you don’t know how to go about asking. God hears your prayers, but he doesn't always give you exactly what you ask for. It’s important to praise God and seek forgiveness for sins before you ask Him to give you what you want. Ask God to work the way He wants. Also, be honest and specific when you ask Him for what you want. Be patient and believe that God will act.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Connecting with God\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build a relationship with God.\", \"描述\": \"God will hear your prayers whether or not you are following Him, but He is more likely to answer those who are close to Him. If you’ve never started reading God’s Word and following Jesus, that’s a good step before you ask Him for something. Learn to listen and obey what He asks of you.\\nThis is not to say that He won’t grant your request if you aren’t a follower. It simply means that you’ll be better able to communicate with Him if you have a relationship with Him.\\nThink about the difference between a stranger and your best friend. If a friend asks to borrow some money or a stranger on the street asks, you’d be more likely to give to your friend. It’s not a perfect comparison, but it’s similar.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Praise God and give thanks first.\", \"描述\": \"When you come to God in prayer, don’t go straight to asking for something. It is better to praise Him and thank Him for what He has already done. Praise Him for being loving and mighty. Thank Him for guiding you and blessing you. Beginning this way shows God that He is more than someone you ask for things.\\nPraise and thanks must be genuine, not a tactic to butter God up so you can ask for what you want. You must really mean what you pray.\\nStart by saying, “God, it’s amazing how well you have taken care of me and provided for me. I’m thankful that you are strong and that you never turn away from me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Confess and repent of sin.\", \"描述\": \"After you have a relationship with God, it is important to make sure you’re on good terms with Him. If you are living in ongoing sin, or you’ve committed sins recently, you are separated from God. You must confess those things and turn away from them. This will mend the broken connection with God.\\nThe reason this is important is that sin means going against what God wants from you. When you sin, you separate yourself from God.\\nTo confess and repent simply means to tell God that you know you have sinned, that you are sorry, and that you want to change.\\nPray to God, “I’m sorry I was so rude to my neighbor. I know you love him too, and I should treat him as you want me to. I will work harder at being patient and kind to him.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask God for forgiveness\", \"描述\": \"Along with confessing and repenting, ask God to forgive you for those sins. Seeking forgiveness is the step that has to follow confession. Once God has forgiven you, the lines of communication will be much more open between you and God.\\nThere is not a specific prayer of forgiveness you must pray. Tell God that you are sorry and that you want Him to forgive you for wronging Him.\\nPray, “God, I’m sorry for lying about what I did last night. I should not have done that. Please forgive me for my dishonesty.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make amends with other people.\", \"描述\": \"If you are angry or have hurt someone, it’s hard to pray an honest prayer to God. Take a minute to think about any relationships you have that are out of sync and make an effort to fix those first. Resolving problems with others opens you up more to asking something from God.\\nIt’s not enough to think of what’s wrong if you don’t make an effort to fix it. Get in touch with the person and seek reconciliation before going to God.\\nApologize to them or forgive them, depending on what is wrong between you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Pray against evil that may be around you.\", \"描述\": \"If you are living for God, you may have evil that is against you, holding you back from God. Pray that God would remove any spirits who seek to keep you distant and distracted from God. Spiritual warfare will keep you from being able to effectively communicate with God.\\nIt may be worth your time to learn more about what spiritual warfare is and how it can affect your prayer life and living for God.\\nPray, “God, I feel like there is evil that is surrounding me. In Jesus' name, please rebuke these spirits. Do not let them come between us. Tell them that they have no power over me.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Praying for What You Want\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be honest with God about what you are feeling.\", \"描述\": \"God knows everything you think and feel, so there is no sense in hiding. As you are asking for what you want, be completely honest about your thoughts and feelings. Honesty will open God’s ears to your prayers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask God specifically for what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Tell God what you want or need and ask Him to provide that for you. Be specific about your request. Even though God knows what you want and need, He wants you to ask Him for it. God can answer vague prayers, but being specific creates a deeper bond between you and Him.\\nBeing specific does not guarantee that God will answer your request in the way you want Him to. He may have other plans for you.\\nSay to God, “I’m hurting for rent money this month because of the doctor bills. Please let me pick up some extra hours at work so that I can pay my rent.”\\nRemember that God will not give you something that goes against His will. Check your heart and check the Bible to see if what you are asking for is against His will.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Invite God to work in the ways He wants to work.\", \"描述\": \"Although you may have many specific things you want from God, another good thing to pray is that His will be done in your life. Ask Him to move and use you however He wants, not only how you want. Ask Him to help you want the things that He wants for you.\\nThe benefits of praying in this way are many. Although you may know exactly what you want, God may have much more for you than you could think to ask for. If you only ask for the thing you want, you could miss out on a larger blessing.\\nSay to God, “Lord, I really want to start a new job this month, but I know that you might have something more in store for me during this time. I pray that you would show me your plans, even if it isn’t exactly what I want.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Call on God to hurry in answering your request.\", \"描述\": \"If you are asking God for something, you probably want Him to act quickly. Being honest with God means telling Him that you want Him to work quickly. He is on His own time, so it may not happen at the speed you want. It is still good to ask Him to hurry because you’re being honest about what you want.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Close by saying, “In Jesus' name.”\", \"描述\": \"The Bible teaches that the name of Jesus Christ is powerful. Every time you pray, but especially when you are asking for something, end by saying, “I pray this in Jesus’ name.” This acknowledges that God moves through Jesus and that Jesus is powerful.\\nThis is not like saying magic words, and it should not be used as a way to exploit God’s blessings. It is simply a way to show that you are submitting to God’s will through Christ.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Waiting for God to Answer Your Prayer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be patient waiting for God to work.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that God works on a different timeline than you do. If He doesn’t answer as quickly as you hoped, do not give up on Him. Wait on His timing and remember that there may be a reason He does not answer as quickly as you want Him to.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Continue to praise Him.\", \"描述\": \"While you wait to hear God’s answer to your prayer, you must keep honoring Him and giving Him praise. It is important to be thankful and worshipful even when you haven’t received what you want yet. If you only praise Him when He acts as you want, your praise may not be genuine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Trust that God will act according to His will.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't believe that God has the power to act, your prayer loses power. You must believe that He has heard you and will act based on His will. If your request fits His plan, then he will grant what you want, but remember that God doesn't always answer the way you want Him to.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,451 | How to Ask Guests to RSVP on Invitations | 1. Sending an Invitation with an RSVP
1-1. Remind your guests of the reason their response is important.
When an electronic invite shows up in your mail, it's easy to put it off until later or glance at it without realizing all the planning and effort that goes into a party. You might communicate this to your guests by saying:
To ensure there is enough food and drink for everyone, please send a response to this invitation.
So that we can prepare seating for everyone in advance, please reply as to whether or not you can make our party.
1-2. Arrange the information of your invitation clearly.
If there is too much text or confusing wording, your guest might misinterpret the purpose of your invitation. This may cause her to think you are only informing her of the event, and not requesting an RSVP. To keep your invitation to the point, you might:
Limit your invitation to only necessary information, such as who is holding the event, what the event is for, where the event will be, when it will be, and why it is being held.
1-3. Set a deadline for responses in your invitation.
Be sure you draw attention to the RSVP deadline on your invitation so that it can't be missed! You may also want to use a "soft" deadline on your invitation, as it is common for a few stragglers to respond shortly after the deadline has passed. To draw attention to this information you might:
Use an eye catching design to draw attention.
Use all caps, italics, underlining, or special font.
1-4. Verify your contact information.
A simple typo or outdated auto-fill settings in your web browser could result in you directing people to a surprise party at someone else's house! Check and double check your contact information before you send out your invitations.
1-5. Emphasize "regrets only" RSVPs to prevent confusion.
In many cases, a host or hostess might request the RSVP be returned only if a guest is unable to make the event. Be sure the words "RSVP regrets only" are prominent and clearly expressed so that no guest misunderstands the purpose of this kind of RSVP.
2. Ensuring Guest Responses
2-1. Send invitations out well in advance.
You might even consider sending out an email request for your guests to "save the date." This will improve the chances of your event making it into your partygoers calendars where they will be reminded of it whenever they check their schedules.
2-2. Use strategic timing when sending out your invites.
This is especially useful when sending out electronic invitations. If you are sending e-vites to personal email accounts, you might wait until a weekday evening, when people are off work and more likely to see a "new email" notification.
Sending an e-vite very early in the day or late at night is also a strategy to consider. This way, your invite will have a higher chance at being at the top of your guests inbox, making it more visible.
2-3. Include multiple means for your guests to respond.
Some of your guest may be most comfortable communicating through email, while others might enjoy the convenience of a text response. By considering your guest list and the media preferences of your guests, you'll improve chances of a response.
For major events that use physical invitations sent by post, like weddings, anniversaries, and reunions, you may also want to include a return envelope with the RSVP you send.
2-4. Prompt a response through scarcity.
Studies have shown that human brains respond to perceived scarcity, and you can use this to your advantage. On your invite, you may want to write:
"Please respond so there isn't a shortage of cupcakes for your children."
"Seating is limited in our home, so please RSVP so we can prepare to accommodate everyone at our party."
2-5. Send a gift with your invitation.
By including even a small gift with your invite, you can increase the rate at which your guests RSVP. Your gift doesn't have to be extravagant for you to enjoy this effect. With a simple paper invitation you might include:
A pin from the dollar store.
A balloon.
A sticker.
2-6. Offer bribes.
The prospect of winning something free can be a powerful motivating factor, and can help your event stick in the minds of your guests. Along with your invitation, you might inform guests that when they RSVP, they'll be entered into a raffle for something like:
A bottle of wine.
A $5 gift card
Tips
Make sure your handwriting is neat and easy to read if you are writing invitations by hand.
Create a nice border around the whole invitation. Personal touches will give it character and make your invite more memorable.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Sending an Invitation with an RSVP\\n1-1. Remind your guests of the reason their response is important.\\nWhen an electronic invite shows up in your mail, it's easy to put it off until later or glance at it without realizing all the planning and effort that goes into a party. You might communicate this to your guests by saying:\\nTo ensure there is enough food and drink for everyone, please send a response to this invitation.\\nSo that we can prepare seating for everyone in advance, please reply as to whether or not you can make our party.\\n1-2. Arrange the information of your invitation clearly.\\nIf there is too much text or confusing wording, your guest might misinterpret the purpose of your invitation. This may cause her to think you are only informing her of the event, and not requesting an RSVP. To keep your invitation to the point, you might:\\nLimit your invitation to only necessary information, such as who is holding the event, what the event is for, where the event will be, when it will be, and why it is being held.\\n1-3. Set a deadline for responses in your invitation.\\nBe sure you draw attention to the RSVP deadline on your invitation so that it can't be missed! You may also want to use a \\\"soft\\\" deadline on your invitation, as it is common for a few stragglers to respond shortly after the deadline has passed. To draw attention to this information you might:\\nUse an eye catching design to draw attention.\\nUse all caps, italics, underlining, or special font.\\n1-4. Verify your contact information.\\nA simple typo or outdated auto-fill settings in your web browser could result in you directing people to a surprise party at someone else's house! Check and double check your contact information before you send out your invitations.\\n1-5. Emphasize \\\"regrets only\\\" RSVPs to prevent confusion.\\nIn many cases, a host or hostess might request the RSVP be returned only if a guest is unable to make the event. Be sure the words \\\"RSVP regrets only\\\" are prominent and clearly expressed so that no guest misunderstands the purpose of this kind of RSVP.\\n2. Ensuring Guest Responses\\n2-1. Send invitations out well in advance.\\nYou might even consider sending out an email request for your guests to \\\"save the date.\\\" This will improve the chances of your event making it into your partygoers calendars where they will be reminded of it whenever they check their schedules.\\n2-2. Use strategic timing when sending out your invites.\\nThis is especially useful when sending out electronic invitations. If you are sending e-vites to personal email accounts, you might wait until a weekday evening, when people are off work and more likely to see a \\\"new email\\\" notification.\\nSending an e-vite very early in the day or late at night is also a strategy to consider. This way, your invite will have a higher chance at being at the top of your guests inbox, making it more visible.\\n2-3. Include multiple means for your guests to respond.\\nSome of your guest may be most comfortable communicating through email, while others might enjoy the convenience of a text response. By considering your guest list and the media preferences of your guests, you'll improve chances of a response.\\nFor major events that use physical invitations sent by post, like weddings, anniversaries, and reunions, you may also want to include a return envelope with the RSVP you send.\\n2-4. Prompt a response through scarcity.\\nStudies have shown that human brains respond to perceived scarcity, and you can use this to your advantage. On your invite, you may want to write:\\n\\\"Please respond so there isn't a shortage of cupcakes for your children.\\\"\\n\\\"Seating is limited in our home, so please RSVP so we can prepare to accommodate everyone at our party.\\\"\\n2-5. Send a gift with your invitation.\\nBy including even a small gift with your invite, you can increase the rate at which your guests RSVP. Your gift doesn't have to be extravagant for you to enjoy this effect. With a simple paper invitation you might include:\\nA pin from the dollar store.\\nA balloon.\\nA sticker.\\n2-6. Offer bribes.\\nThe prospect of winning something free can be a powerful motivating factor, and can help your event stick in the minds of your guests. Along with your invitation, you might inform guests that when they RSVP, they'll be entered into a raffle for something like:\\nA bottle of wine.\\nA $5 gift card\\nTips\\nMake sure your handwriting is neat and easy to read if you are writing invitations by hand.\\nCreate a nice border around the whole invitation. Personal touches will give it character and make your invite more memorable.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can cost a great deal of time, money, and effort to throw that party you've been planning. Knowing how many people to expect at your event is an important part of being prepared. But it can be difficult in today's age to get people to actually respond to an invitation with even a simple \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no.\\\" Even so, there are techniques you can use to improve your odds of getting the RSVPs you desire so your party can go off without a hitch.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sending an Invitation with an RSVP\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remind your guests of the reason their response is important.\", \"描述\": \"When an electronic invite shows up in your mail, it's easy to put it off until later or glance at it without realizing all the planning and effort that goes into a party. You might communicate this to your guests by saying:\\nTo ensure there is enough food and drink for everyone, please send a response to this invitation.\\nSo that we can prepare seating for everyone in advance, please reply as to whether or not you can make our party.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Arrange the information of your invitation clearly.\", \"描述\": \"If there is too much text or confusing wording, your guest might misinterpret the purpose of your invitation. This may cause her to think you are only informing her of the event, and not requesting an RSVP. To keep your invitation to the point, you might:\\nLimit your invitation to only necessary information, such as who is holding the event, what the event is for, where the event will be, when it will be, and why it is being held.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set a deadline for responses in your invitation.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure you draw attention to the RSVP deadline on your invitation so that it can't be missed! You may also want to use a \\\"soft\\\" deadline on your invitation, as it is common for a few stragglers to respond shortly after the deadline has passed. To draw attention to this information you might:\\nUse an eye catching design to draw attention.\\nUse all caps, italics, underlining, or special font.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Verify your contact information.\", \"描述\": \"A simple typo or outdated auto-fill settings in your web browser could result in you directing people to a surprise party at someone else's house! Check and double check your contact information before you send out your invitations.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Emphasize \\\"regrets only\\\" RSVPs to prevent confusion.\", \"描述\": \"In many cases, a host or hostess might request the RSVP be returned only if a guest is unable to make the event. Be sure the words \\\"RSVP regrets only\\\" are prominent and clearly expressed so that no guest misunderstands the purpose of this kind of RSVP.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ensuring Guest Responses\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send invitations out well in advance.\", \"描述\": \"You might even consider sending out an email request for your guests to \\\"save the date.\\\" This will improve the chances of your event making it into your partygoers calendars where they will be reminded of it whenever they check their schedules.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use strategic timing when sending out your invites.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially useful when sending out electronic invitations. If you are sending e-vites to personal email accounts, you might wait until a weekday evening, when people are off work and more likely to see a \\\"new email\\\" notification.\\nSending an e-vite very early in the day or late at night is also a strategy to consider. This way, your invite will have a higher chance at being at the top of your guests inbox, making it more visible.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Include multiple means for your guests to respond.\", \"描述\": \"Some of your guest may be most comfortable communicating through email, while others might enjoy the convenience of a text response. By considering your guest list and the media preferences of your guests, you'll improve chances of a response.\\nFor major events that use physical invitations sent by post, like weddings, anniversaries, and reunions, you may also want to include a return envelope with the RSVP you send.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prompt a response through scarcity.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that human brains respond to perceived scarcity, and you can use this to your advantage. On your invite, you may want to write:\\n\\\"Please respond so there isn't a shortage of cupcakes for your children.\\\"\\n\\\"Seating is limited in our home, so please RSVP so we can prepare to accommodate everyone at our party.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Send a gift with your invitation.\", \"描述\": \"By including even a small gift with your invite, you can increase the rate at which your guests RSVP. Your gift doesn't have to be extravagant for you to enjoy this effect. With a simple paper invitation you might include:\\nA pin from the dollar store.\\nA balloon.\\nA sticker.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Offer bribes.\", \"描述\": \"The prospect of winning something free can be a powerful motivating factor, and can help your event stick in the minds of your guests. Along with your invitation, you might inform guests that when they RSVP, they'll be entered into a raffle for something like:\\nA bottle of wine.\\nA $5 gift card\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make sure your handwriting is neat and easy to read if you are writing invitations by hand.\\n\", \"Create a nice border around the whole invitation. Personal touches will give it character and make your invite more memorable.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,452 | How to Ask Open Ended Questions | 1. Understanding Open-Ended Questions
1-1. Understand what an open-ended question is.
Before you can start effectively asking open-ended questions, you need to know what that is. An open-ended question is a question that requires a full answer, using the subject's own knowledge or feelings. These questions are objective, do not lead the person being asked, and result in an answer that requires an explanation. Examples of open-ended questions include:
"What happened after I left?"
"Why did Jim leave before Susan?"
"What did you do at work today?"
"What do you think about the new season of this TV show?"
1-2. Do not ask closed-ended questions.
A closed-ended question can be answered in a short or single-word answer. They are used to obtain facts and specific pieces of information. Examples of closed-ended questions are:
"Who will you choose?"
"What brand of car do you own?"
"Did you speak to Bob?"
"Did Susan leave with Jim?"
"Who finished the cake?"
Closed-ended questions bring conversations to a halt. They do not invite or encourage people to elaborate, talk about themselves, or give the questioner any detailed information.
1-3. Recognize the characteristics of open-ended questions.
Sometimes, people think they have asked open-ended questions when they have not. To successfully ask open-ended questions in conversation, be knowledgeable of the characteristics of an open-ended question.
They require a person to pause, think, and reflect.
Answers, typically, will not be facts, but personal feelings, opinions, or ideas about a subject.
When using open-ended questions, the control of the conversation switches over to the person being asked the question, which begins an exchange between people. If the control of the conversation stays with the person asking questions, you are asking closed-ended questions. This technique makes it feel more like an interview or interrogation than a conversation.
Avoid questions that have the following characteristics:
answers that provide facts
easy to answer questions
answers that can be given quickly and require little to no thought. Questions that reflect these things are closed-ended.
1-4. Know the language of open-ended questions.
To make sure you actually ask open-ended questions, you need to understand the language involved. Open-ended questions begin in very specific ways.
Open-ended questions or statements begin with the following words: why, how, what, describe, explain, tell me about..., or what do you think about...
Although "tell me about" or "describe" does not begin a question, the result is the same as asking an open-ended question.
Closed-ended questions also have a specific language. If you want to avoid closed-ended questions, do not start questions with the following verbs: are/was, did/do, will, won’t, didn’t, aren’t, would, if.
2. Using Open-Ended Questions
2-1. Use open-ended questions for meaningful answers.
One of the main reasons to use open-ended questions is to obtain deep, meaningful, and thoughtful answers. Asking questions in this way invites people to open up, because you are showing that you are interested in what they have to say.
Do not use closed-ended questions when you want meaningful answers. These questions can bring a conversation to a screeching halt. One word answers can make it difficult to build any kind of conversation or relationship. Closed-ended questions typically provide inadequate answers as well.
Ask open-ended questions when you want detailed explanations to build off of.
Use open-ended questions to expand the conversation after asking a closed-ended question, to gather a fact or one word answer. Take the fact or one word answer, and build an entire conversation of open-ended questions around it.
2-2. Specify boundaries.
Open-ended questions can be too open sometimes. Wording is very important when asking open-ended questions, especially if you are looking for a certain type of answer.
If you are trying to set a friend up on a date, you might ask them, "What are you looking for in a person?" They might answer with physical characteristics, when you wanted them to talk about personality. Instead, ask a more specific question with parameters: "What personality traits are you looking for in a person?"
2-3. Try funneling questions.
For this method, start with questions with a narrow focus, then transition to broad and open detail-type questions. This method is good if you are trying to get specific details from someone. It also works if you are trying to get someone interested in a topic, or trying to get someone to feel more confident.
If you are struggling to get the person to open up with broad open-ended questions, try narrowing the questions first and then make them broader after getting them into the conversation. An example of this would be when talking to your kids. You might ask a question like "What happened at school today?" "Nothing" is the response. Follow-up with something like, "What writing assignments are you working on?" More than likely, this will spark a conversation.
2-4. Follow up.
Use open-ended questions as follow ups for other questions. These follow ups can be asked after open or closed-ended questions.
Ask "why" and "how" to follow up and gain a lengthier answer after asking a closed-ended question.
When someone has finished talking, ask them an open-ended question that refers to what they just said, or is related to what they just said. This keeps the conversation flowing in an open and engaging way.
2-5. Connect with people.
Open-ended questions are one of the best ways to connect with someone through conversation. Unlike closed-ended questions, open-ended questions encourage deeper, more meaningful exchanges between two people. Open-ended questions indicate the questioner is interested in listening to the questionee's response.
Ask these questions to find out more about a person. Many times, open-ended questions encourage people to talk about themselves. By asking follow up questions, you can continue discovering things about the person.
These questions can demonstrate care, compassion, or concern for someone else. Open-ended questions require more involved, personal answers. By asking "How are you feeling" or "Why are you crying?", you invite a person to share their feelings with you. Asking "are you okay?" allows someone to answer with a simple "yes" or "no."
Ask open-ended questions to generate conversation with quiet, nervous, or new people. It can help them feel at ease and encourage them to open up.
Use open-ended questions to avoid pressuring, hinting at, or influencing a person's response. Most open-ended questions are neutral questions. The way that closed-ended questions are worded can cause a person to feel pressured to answer a certain way. For example, a leading question might be, "Don't you think the dress is cute?", while a neutral open-ended question would be, "How do you like the dress?" Tags such as "isn't it?", "don't you?" or "can't they?" can turn questions into leading questions, suggesting that the person you are talking to should agree with you. Do not use them with open-ended questions.
Be careful not to ask people questions that are too personal or require too much personal information. Gauge the questionee's comfort level when asking questions. If you ask a question that you feel is too personal, just move on to another, less personal question.
2-6. Ask questions that can generate many responses.
Open-ended questions are great for discussions. They encourage different answers, opinions, and solutions. They also encourage creative thinking and validate people's ideas.
Open-ended questions engage language skills in a sophisticated way. You can use open-ended questions with children and new language learners to help them stimulate their thinking and improve their language abilities.
2-7. Ask questions that encourage people to talk.
Conversation is an art that many people have trouble with. Talking to new people can be scary, but open-ended questions can help you encourage others to talk.
2-8. Use probing questions.
Open-ended questions can be probing questions. There are two different methods to ask probing questions:
Probing for clarity. If you ask an open-ended question that results in a general answer, ask another open-ended question for clarity. For example, if you ask someone "Why do you like living here" and she responds, "because of the scenery," you can ask her an additional question for clarity, such as, "What is it that you like about the scenery?"
Probing for completeness. Once a complete, clear answer has been given to an open-ended question, you can ask more questions to get additional information. Examples of questions that probe for clarity are "What else do you like?" or "What other reason did you have?"
Do not use "Is there anything else?" This is a closed-ended question, and can result in a simple "no" answer.
2-9. Invite creativity.
One of the results of open-ended questions is creativity. Certain types of open-ended questions require answers that encourage people to expand the limits of their thinking.
Some open-ended questions require predictions. Questions like, "Who will win the election" or "What effect would this candidate's election have on our state?" require people to come up with possible scenarios.
These questions also sometimes make people consider consequences. By asking someone, "What would happen if..." or "what would happen if you...", you are inviting them to think about the cause and effects of a given scenario.
2-10. Try to get them to ask you open-ended questions.
This makes the conversation more even, and helps you take part in the conversation in a way other than asking questions. To get someone to ask you questions, try not giving all the details of a story or opinion at once.
2-11. Make sure to listen.
Asking the right questions is pointless if you are not listening. Sometimes we are guilty of formulating the next question without paying attention to the answer to the first. You miss great opportunities for follow up questions if you do this. Make an effort to listen to the answer you asked for.
Warnings
A person who is uncomfortable answering open-ended questions either does not understand where you are going with it or does not really want to answer. You can try giving a short explanation. If they still resist, it may be that the answer is personal or about a topic your subject does not want to explore.
Open-ended questions may result in long, tedious answers. If you would like to keep them brief or relevant, be specific when asking the question.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding Open-Ended Questions\\n1-1. Understand what an open-ended question is.\\nBefore you can start effectively asking open-ended questions, you need to know what that is. An open-ended question is a question that requires a full answer, using the subject's own knowledge or feelings. These questions are objective, do not lead the person being asked, and result in an answer that requires an explanation. Examples of open-ended questions include:\\n\\\"What happened after I left?\\\"\\n\\\"Why did Jim leave before Susan?\\\"\\n\\\"What did you do at work today?\\\"\\n\\\"What do you think about the new season of this TV show?\\\"\\n1-2. Do not ask closed-ended questions.\\nA closed-ended question can be answered in a short or single-word answer. They are used to obtain facts and specific pieces of information. Examples of closed-ended questions are:\\n\\\"Who will you choose?\\\"\\n\\\"What brand of car do you own?\\\"\\n\\\"Did you speak to Bob?\\\"\\n\\\"Did Susan leave with Jim?\\\"\\n\\\"Who finished the cake?\\\"\\nClosed-ended questions bring conversations to a halt. They do not invite or encourage people to elaborate, talk about themselves, or give the questioner any detailed information.\\n1-3. Recognize the characteristics of open-ended questions.\\nSometimes, people think they have asked open-ended questions when they have not. To successfully ask open-ended questions in conversation, be knowledgeable of the characteristics of an open-ended question.\\nThey require a person to pause, think, and reflect.\\nAnswers, typically, will not be facts, but personal feelings, opinions, or ideas about a subject.\\nWhen using open-ended questions, the control of the conversation switches over to the person being asked the question, which begins an exchange between people. If the control of the conversation stays with the person asking questions, you are asking closed-ended questions. This technique makes it feel more like an interview or interrogation than a conversation.\\nAvoid questions that have the following characteristics:\\nanswers that provide facts\\neasy to answer questions\\nanswers that can be given quickly and require little to no thought. Questions that reflect these things are closed-ended.\\n1-4. Know the language of open-ended questions.\\nTo make sure you actually ask open-ended questions, you need to understand the language involved. Open-ended questions begin in very specific ways.\\nOpen-ended questions or statements begin with the following words: why, how, what, describe, explain, tell me about..., or what do you think about...\\nAlthough \\\"tell me about\\\" or \\\"describe\\\" does not begin a question, the result is the same as asking an open-ended question.\\nClosed-ended questions also have a specific language. If you want to avoid closed-ended questions, do not start questions with the following verbs: are/was, did/do, will, won’t, didn’t, aren’t, would, if.\\n2. Using Open-Ended Questions\\n2-1. Use open-ended questions for meaningful answers.\\nOne of the main reasons to use open-ended questions is to obtain deep, meaningful, and thoughtful answers. Asking questions in this way invites people to open up, because you are showing that you are interested in what they have to say.\\nDo not use closed-ended questions when you want meaningful answers. These questions can bring a conversation to a screeching halt. One word answers can make it difficult to build any kind of conversation or relationship. Closed-ended questions typically provide inadequate answers as well.\\nAsk open-ended questions when you want detailed explanations to build off of.\\nUse open-ended questions to expand the conversation after asking a closed-ended question, to gather a fact or one word answer. Take the fact or one word answer, and build an entire conversation of open-ended questions around it.\\n2-2. Specify boundaries.\\nOpen-ended questions can be too open sometimes. Wording is very important when asking open-ended questions, especially if you are looking for a certain type of answer.\\nIf you are trying to set a friend up on a date, you might ask them, \\\"What are you looking for in a person?\\\" They might answer with physical characteristics, when you wanted them to talk about personality. Instead, ask a more specific question with parameters: \\\"What personality traits are you looking for in a person?\\\"\\n2-3. Try funneling questions.\\nFor this method, start with questions with a narrow focus, then transition to broad and open detail-type questions. This method is good if you are trying to get specific details from someone. It also works if you are trying to get someone interested in a topic, or trying to get someone to feel more confident.\\nIf you are struggling to get the person to open up with broad open-ended questions, try narrowing the questions first and then make them broader after getting them into the conversation. An example of this would be when talking to your kids. You might ask a question like \\\"What happened at school today?\\\" \\\"Nothing\\\" is the response. Follow-up with something like, \\\"What writing assignments are you working on?\\\" More than likely, this will spark a conversation.\\n2-4. Follow up.\\nUse open-ended questions as follow ups for other questions. These follow ups can be asked after open or closed-ended questions.\\nAsk \\\"why\\\" and \\\"how\\\" to follow up and gain a lengthier answer after asking a closed-ended question.\\nWhen someone has finished talking, ask them an open-ended question that refers to what they just said, or is related to what they just said. This keeps the conversation flowing in an open and engaging way.\\n2-5. Connect with people.\\nOpen-ended questions are one of the best ways to connect with someone through conversation. Unlike closed-ended questions, open-ended questions encourage deeper, more meaningful exchanges between two people. Open-ended questions indicate the questioner is interested in listening to the questionee's response.\\nAsk these questions to find out more about a person. Many times, open-ended questions encourage people to talk about themselves. By asking follow up questions, you can continue discovering things about the person.\\nThese questions can demonstrate care, compassion, or concern for someone else. Open-ended questions require more involved, personal answers. By asking \\\"How are you feeling\\\" or \\\"Why are you crying?\\\", you invite a person to share their feelings with you. Asking \\\"are you okay?\\\" allows someone to answer with a simple \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no.\\\"\\nAsk open-ended questions to generate conversation with quiet, nervous, or new people. It can help them feel at ease and encourage them to open up.\\nUse open-ended questions to avoid pressuring, hinting at, or influencing a person's response. Most open-ended questions are neutral questions. The way that closed-ended questions are worded can cause a person to feel pressured to answer a certain way. For example, a leading question might be, \\\"Don't you think the dress is cute?\\\", while a neutral open-ended question would be, \\\"How do you like the dress?\\\" Tags such as \\\"isn't it?\\\", \\\"don't you?\\\" or \\\"can't they?\\\" can turn questions into leading questions, suggesting that the person you are talking to should agree with you. Do not use them with open-ended questions.\\nBe careful not to ask people questions that are too personal or require too much personal information. Gauge the questionee's comfort level when asking questions. If you ask a question that you feel is too personal, just move on to another, less personal question.\\n2-6. Ask questions that can generate many responses.\\nOpen-ended questions are great for discussions. They encourage different answers, opinions, and solutions. They also encourage creative thinking and validate people's ideas.\\nOpen-ended questions engage language skills in a sophisticated way. You can use open-ended questions with children and new language learners to help them stimulate their thinking and improve their language abilities.\\n2-7. Ask questions that encourage people to talk.\\nConversation is an art that many people have trouble with. Talking to new people can be scary, but open-ended questions can help you encourage others to talk.\\n2-8. Use probing questions.\\nOpen-ended questions can be probing questions. There are two different methods to ask probing questions:\\nProbing for clarity. If you ask an open-ended question that results in a general answer, ask another open-ended question for clarity. For example, if you ask someone \\\"Why do you like living here\\\" and she responds, \\\"because of the scenery,\\\" you can ask her an additional question for clarity, such as, \\\"What is it that you like about the scenery?\\\"\\nProbing for completeness. Once a complete, clear answer has been given to an open-ended question, you can ask more questions to get additional information. Examples of questions that probe for clarity are \\\"What else do you like?\\\" or \\\"What other reason did you have?\\\"\\nDo not use \\\"Is there anything else?\\\" This is a closed-ended question, and can result in a simple \\\"no\\\" answer.\\n2-9. Invite creativity.\\nOne of the results of open-ended questions is creativity. Certain types of open-ended questions require answers that encourage people to expand the limits of their thinking.\\nSome open-ended questions require predictions. Questions like, \\\"Who will win the election\\\" or \\\"What effect would this candidate's election have on our state?\\\" require people to come up with possible scenarios.\\nThese questions also sometimes make people consider consequences. By asking someone, \\\"What would happen if...\\\" or \\\"what would happen if you...\\\", you are inviting them to think about the cause and effects of a given scenario.\\n2-10. Try to get them to ask you open-ended questions.\\nThis makes the conversation more even, and helps you take part in the conversation in a way other than asking questions. To get someone to ask you questions, try not giving all the details of a story or opinion at once.\\n2-11. Make sure to listen.\\nAsking the right questions is pointless if you are not listening. Sometimes we are guilty of formulating the next question without paying attention to the answer to the first. You miss great opportunities for follow up questions if you do this. Make an effort to listen to the answer you asked for.\\nWarnings\\nA person who is uncomfortable answering open-ended questions either does not understand where you are going with it or does not really want to answer. You can try giving a short explanation. If they still resist, it may be that the answer is personal or about a topic your subject does not want to explore.\\nOpen-ended questions may result in long, tedious answers. If you would like to keep them brief or relevant, be specific when asking the question.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking questions is a basic way to gather information. Like everything else, there is a skill to it. Asking open-ended questions is a friendly way to engage people in a conversation. Knowing the difference between open-ended and close-ended questions will help you tremendously in your career and social life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding Open-Ended Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what an open-ended question is.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can start effectively asking open-ended questions, you need to know what that is. An open-ended question is a question that requires a full answer, using the subject's own knowledge or feelings. These questions are objective, do not lead the person being asked, and result in an answer that requires an explanation. Examples of open-ended questions include:\\n\\\"What happened after I left?\\\"\\n\\\"Why did Jim leave before Susan?\\\"\\n\\\"What did you do at work today?\\\"\\n\\\"What do you think about the new season of this TV show?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not ask closed-ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"A closed-ended question can be answered in a short or single-word answer. They are used to obtain facts and specific pieces of information. Examples of closed-ended questions are:\\n\\\"Who will you choose?\\\"\\n\\\"What brand of car do you own?\\\"\\n\\\"Did you speak to Bob?\\\"\\n\\\"Did Susan leave with Jim?\\\"\\n\\\"Who finished the cake?\\\"\\nClosed-ended questions bring conversations to a halt. They do not invite or encourage people to elaborate, talk about themselves, or give the questioner any detailed information.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognize the characteristics of open-ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, people think they have asked open-ended questions when they have not. To successfully ask open-ended questions in conversation, be knowledgeable of the characteristics of an open-ended question.\\nThey require a person to pause, think, and reflect.\\nAnswers, typically, will not be facts, but personal feelings, opinions, or ideas about a subject.\\nWhen using open-ended questions, the control of the conversation switches over to the person being asked the question, which begins an exchange between people. If the control of the conversation stays with the person asking questions, you are asking closed-ended questions. This technique makes it feel more like an interview or interrogation than a conversation.\\nAvoid questions that have the following characteristics:\\nanswers that provide facts\\neasy to answer questions\\nanswers that can be given quickly and require little to no thought. Questions that reflect these things are closed-ended.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know the language of open-ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"To make sure you actually ask open-ended questions, you need to understand the language involved. Open-ended questions begin in very specific ways.\\nOpen-ended questions or statements begin with the following words: why, how, what, describe, explain, tell me about..., or what do you think about...\\nAlthough \\\"tell me about\\\" or \\\"describe\\\" does not begin a question, the result is the same as asking an open-ended question.\\nClosed-ended questions also have a specific language. If you want to avoid closed-ended questions, do not start questions with the following verbs: are/was, did/do, will, won’t, didn’t, aren’t, would, if.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Open-Ended Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use open-ended questions for meaningful answers.\", \"描述\": \"One of the main reasons to use open-ended questions is to obtain deep, meaningful, and thoughtful answers. Asking questions in this way invites people to open up, because you are showing that you are interested in what they have to say.\\nDo not use closed-ended questions when you want meaningful answers. These questions can bring a conversation to a screeching halt. One word answers can make it difficult to build any kind of conversation or relationship. Closed-ended questions typically provide inadequate answers as well.\\nAsk open-ended questions when you want detailed explanations to build off of.\\nUse open-ended questions to expand the conversation after asking a closed-ended question, to gather a fact or one word answer. Take the fact or one word answer, and build an entire conversation of open-ended questions around it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Specify boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"Open-ended questions can be too open sometimes. Wording is very important when asking open-ended questions, especially if you are looking for a certain type of answer.\\nIf you are trying to set a friend up on a date, you might ask them, \\\"What are you looking for in a person?\\\" They might answer with physical characteristics, when you wanted them to talk about personality. Instead, ask a more specific question with parameters: \\\"What personality traits are you looking for in a person?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try funneling questions.\", \"描述\": \"For this method, start with questions with a narrow focus, then transition to broad and open detail-type questions. This method is good if you are trying to get specific details from someone. It also works if you are trying to get someone interested in a topic, or trying to get someone to feel more confident.\\nIf you are struggling to get the person to open up with broad open-ended questions, try narrowing the questions first and then make them broader after getting them into the conversation. An example of this would be when talking to your kids. You might ask a question like \\\"What happened at school today?\\\" \\\"Nothing\\\" is the response. Follow-up with something like, \\\"What writing assignments are you working on?\\\" More than likely, this will spark a conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Follow up.\", \"描述\": \"Use open-ended questions as follow ups for other questions. These follow ups can be asked after open or closed-ended questions.\\nAsk \\\"why\\\" and \\\"how\\\" to follow up and gain a lengthier answer after asking a closed-ended question.\\nWhen someone has finished talking, ask them an open-ended question that refers to what they just said, or is related to what they just said. This keeps the conversation flowing in an open and engaging way.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Connect with people.\", \"描述\": \"Open-ended questions are one of the best ways to connect with someone through conversation. Unlike closed-ended questions, open-ended questions encourage deeper, more meaningful exchanges between two people. Open-ended questions indicate the questioner is interested in listening to the questionee's response.\\nAsk these questions to find out more about a person. Many times, open-ended questions encourage people to talk about themselves. By asking follow up questions, you can continue discovering things about the person.\\nThese questions can demonstrate care, compassion, or concern for someone else. Open-ended questions require more involved, personal answers. By asking \\\"How are you feeling\\\" or \\\"Why are you crying?\\\", you invite a person to share their feelings with you. Asking \\\"are you okay?\\\" allows someone to answer with a simple \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no.\\\"\\nAsk open-ended questions to generate conversation with quiet, nervous, or new people. It can help them feel at ease and encourage them to open up.\\nUse open-ended questions to avoid pressuring, hinting at, or influencing a person's response. Most open-ended questions are neutral questions. The way that closed-ended questions are worded can cause a person to feel pressured to answer a certain way. For example, a leading question might be, \\\"Don't you think the dress is cute?\\\", while a neutral open-ended question would be, \\\"How do you like the dress?\\\" Tags such as \\\"isn't it?\\\", \\\"don't you?\\\" or \\\"can't they?\\\" can turn questions into leading questions, suggesting that the person you are talking to should agree with you. Do not use them with open-ended questions.\\nBe careful not to ask people questions that are too personal or require too much personal information. Gauge the questionee's comfort level when asking questions. If you ask a question that you feel is too personal, just move on to another, less personal question.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask questions that can generate many responses.\", \"描述\": \"Open-ended questions are great for discussions. They encourage different answers, opinions, and solutions. They also encourage creative thinking and validate people's ideas.\\nOpen-ended questions engage language skills in a sophisticated way. You can use open-ended questions with children and new language learners to help them stimulate their thinking and improve their language abilities.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask questions that encourage people to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Conversation is an art that many people have trouble with. Talking to new people can be scary, but open-ended questions can help you encourage others to talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use probing questions.\", \"描述\": \"Open-ended questions can be probing questions. There are two different methods to ask probing questions:\\nProbing for clarity. If you ask an open-ended question that results in a general answer, ask another open-ended question for clarity. For example, if you ask someone \\\"Why do you like living here\\\" and she responds, \\\"because of the scenery,\\\" you can ask her an additional question for clarity, such as, \\\"What is it that you like about the scenery?\\\"\\nProbing for completeness. Once a complete, clear answer has been given to an open-ended question, you can ask more questions to get additional information. Examples of questions that probe for clarity are \\\"What else do you like?\\\" or \\\"What other reason did you have?\\\"\\nDo not use \\\"Is there anything else?\\\" This is a closed-ended question, and can result in a simple \\\"no\\\" answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Invite creativity.\", \"描述\": \"One of the results of open-ended questions is creativity. Certain types of open-ended questions require answers that encourage people to expand the limits of their thinking.\\nSome open-ended questions require predictions. Questions like, \\\"Who will win the election\\\" or \\\"What effect would this candidate's election have on our state?\\\" require people to come up with possible scenarios.\\nThese questions also sometimes make people consider consequences. By asking someone, \\\"What would happen if...\\\" or \\\"what would happen if you...\\\", you are inviting them to think about the cause and effects of a given scenario.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Try to get them to ask you open-ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"This makes the conversation more even, and helps you take part in the conversation in a way other than asking questions. To get someone to ask you questions, try not giving all the details of a story or opinion at once.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Make sure to listen.\", \"描述\": \"Asking the right questions is pointless if you are not listening. Sometimes we are guilty of formulating the next question without paying attention to the answer to the first. You miss great opportunities for follow up questions if you do this. Make an effort to listen to the answer you asked for.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"A person who is uncomfortable answering open-ended questions either does not understand where you are going with it or does not really want to answer. You can try giving a short explanation. If they still resist, it may be that the answer is personal or about a topic your subject does not want to explore.\\n\", \"Open-ended questions may result in long, tedious answers. If you would like to keep them brief or relevant, be specific when asking the question.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,453 | How to Ask Out Your Best Friend | 1. Setting the Stage for Romance
1-1. Approach your feelings calmly.
These romantic feelings that you now have for your friend are likely making you a bit anxious. However, it is important that you stay calm so that you don’t make your friend nervous, too. Take some deep breaths when you see them or when your heart starts to race. Choose your words carefully and speak slowly. Try not to allow your thoughts of them to consume your day; continue taking care of yourself and your responsibilities.
If thoughts of them are taking over your mind, distract yourself.
Hang out with friends or family who aren't connected to your best friend.
Get a project done that gets your body moving, like cleaning the house or painting your room.
1-2. Flirt.
Begin to set the tone for a potential romance through flirtation. Flirt with them slightly on occasion to assess their feelings for you. If they flirt back with you, this will help you be more confident in asking them out.
Lean into them slightly when they are speaking.
Look softly at them in their eyes for a few seconds.
Smile brightly when you first see them.
Laugh at their jokes.
Put your hand on their shoulder when laughing.
You can also hug them when you see them and when you are about to leave.
1-3. Compliment them more.
Most people like to be complimented, so use this to your advantage while letting them know that you admire them. If they look nice, let them know. If they do well on on assignment at work or school, let them know that you respect their intellect and diligence.
1-4. Throw out hints.
You can also begin to hint at you two going on a date. By doing this, you can better gauge their interest in becoming romantic with you and you can determine how to move forward.
You might say something like “You know, everyone keeps asking if we date. Do people ask you that a lot, too?”
1-5. Look your best.
Remember that physical attraction is critical in establishing a romance. Take special care of your hygiene, hair and clothes, particularly while you are trying to garner their romantic interest. Perhaps they like a certain scent; try to wear that fragrance more often.
2. Communicating Your Intentions
2-1. Gather your thoughts.
Begin to think about all of the reasons why you like your friend and want to date them. This is crucial so that you can articulate this to them and so that you don’t make a mistake and ask them out just because you are lonely. Make a pros and cons list for asking your friend out.
For example, a pro might be that you both have very similar interests and have a good time together.
A con might be if they are selfish or your general fear of ruining the friendship should the relationship go awry.
2-2. Set aside some time to talk.
Ask your friend if they have some time to talk to you about something. Find a time that works well for the both of you. Meet in a place that is quiet so that others won’t overhear the conversation.
You can also have this talk over the phone if you are nervous.
Consider writing a letter if you feel that this will help you better articulate your thoughts.
2-3. Tell them how you feel.
Now is the time to open up to your friend about your feelings. Be very honest and genuine with them and try not to be overly dramatic. Talk to them about how your feelings for them have evolved from friendly to romantic.
You might say something like “This has been on my heart for a while. I think you are so wonderful and to be honest, I like you as more than a friend.”
2-4. Listen.
After you have told them how you feel, allow them some time to also express themselves. Avoid preparing your next response to them in your head; truly and actively listen and hear them.
You might want to say something like “Well, now you know how I feel. What do you think about us going out some time?”
Answer any questions that they might have.
2-5. Ask them out.
If they respond positively to your talk and indicate that they like you or would want to explore a romance, too, then ask them out. You might say something like “So, I was wondering, will you go out with me this Friday night?”
2-6. Give them some time to think.
Recognize that this all may feel very new to your best friend and they may need some time to think about whether they are interested or if they want your relationship to change. Assure them that you don’t need an answer right now and are willing to wait on them.
2-7. Use your common interests to create an ideal date.
If your friend agreed to a date on the spot, then great! Or perhaps they did not give you an answer yet but you feel that they will go out with you. Take some items to plan out a fun date for the two of you that aligns with your interests, but is still romantic in nature.
Perhaps you might plan a romantic picnic in the park or a date to the movies.
Base the date around something that you are both interested in or something that your friend really likes, such as a concert of their favorite band.
Since this is a new experience for both of you, consider choosing an activity that you have both been interested in trying, such as the new mini golf place that just opened.
3. Avoiding Ruining the Friendship
3-1. Don’t involve other friends.
Try to avoid involving your friends in this process. Though it is okay to talk to them about your new relationship with your best friend, avoid giving them too many details. In the course of developing this new relationship with your best friend, you don’t want to alienate your other friends in the process.
At first, the change in your relationship should remain private. Don't share details until you know that you want to be an official couple.
Try not to put them in the middle of the two of you.
3-2. Assess your mutual comfort level.
Though you have been accustomed to being friends for a while and may feel that you know your best friend very well, remember that you don’t know them in a romantic context. You both know about each other’s various relationships, but at the end of the day, you have never dated each other. Ask questions to find out what each other wants from a partner and a romance.
Start slowly so that you each have time to decide if you want the relationship to transition into a romantic one. Rushing things can put pressure on you both to make decisions that you're not ready to make, putting the relationship in jeopardy.
For instance, find out how many nights a week they would want to hang out or go on dates.
Find out what you both are comfortable with sexually. Don’t engage in any sexual behavior until your friend is ready.
Jumping in too quickly can make it difficult if one of you decides not to pursue a romantic relationship.
3-3. Don’t pressure your best friend.
Perhaps your friend has told you that they do not want to explore a romance with you. Though this might hurt you, do not try to make them do something that they do not want to do. Accept their decision and move forward.
To move forward, take a bit of time to heal from this rejection. Cry if you need to. Connect with friends and spend time exploring your hobbies. Perhaps even go on a few dates.
Spend some time apart then gradually reconnect by doing activities that you two enjoyed before trying a romantic relationship. Consider hanging out in a group before getting together alone.
Make sure that both of you understand that hanging out together is never going to turn romantic. If either of you is holding out hope, then consider other options for spending time together, such as group hangouts only.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Setting the Stage for Romance\\n1-1. Approach your feelings calmly.\\nThese romantic feelings that you now have for your friend are likely making you a bit anxious. However, it is important that you stay calm so that you don’t make your friend nervous, too. Take some deep breaths when you see them or when your heart starts to race. Choose your words carefully and speak slowly. Try not to allow your thoughts of them to consume your day; continue taking care of yourself and your responsibilities.\\nIf thoughts of them are taking over your mind, distract yourself.\\nHang out with friends or family who aren't connected to your best friend.\\nGet a project done that gets your body moving, like cleaning the house or painting your room.\\n1-2. Flirt.\\nBegin to set the tone for a potential romance through flirtation. Flirt with them slightly on occasion to assess their feelings for you. If they flirt back with you, this will help you be more confident in asking them out.\\nLean into them slightly when they are speaking.\\nLook softly at them in their eyes for a few seconds.\\nSmile brightly when you first see them.\\nLaugh at their jokes.\\nPut your hand on their shoulder when laughing.\\nYou can also hug them when you see them and when you are about to leave.\\n1-3. Compliment them more.\\nMost people like to be complimented, so use this to your advantage while letting them know that you admire them. If they look nice, let them know. If they do well on on assignment at work or school, let them know that you respect their intellect and diligence.\\n1-4. Throw out hints.\\nYou can also begin to hint at you two going on a date. By doing this, you can better gauge their interest in becoming romantic with you and you can determine how to move forward.\\nYou might say something like “You know, everyone keeps asking if we date. Do people ask you that a lot, too?”\\n1-5. Look your best.\\nRemember that physical attraction is critical in establishing a romance. Take special care of your hygiene, hair and clothes, particularly while you are trying to garner their romantic interest. Perhaps they like a certain scent; try to wear that fragrance more often.\\n2. Communicating Your Intentions\\n2-1. Gather your thoughts.\\nBegin to think about all of the reasons why you like your friend and want to date them. This is crucial so that you can articulate this to them and so that you don’t make a mistake and ask them out just because you are lonely. Make a pros and cons list for asking your friend out.\\nFor example, a pro might be that you both have very similar interests and have a good time together.\\nA con might be if they are selfish or your general fear of ruining the friendship should the relationship go awry.\\n2-2. Set aside some time to talk.\\nAsk your friend if they have some time to talk to you about something. Find a time that works well for the both of you. Meet in a place that is quiet so that others won’t overhear the conversation.\\nYou can also have this talk over the phone if you are nervous.\\nConsider writing a letter if you feel that this will help you better articulate your thoughts.\\n2-3. Tell them how you feel.\\nNow is the time to open up to your friend about your feelings. Be very honest and genuine with them and try not to be overly dramatic. Talk to them about how your feelings for them have evolved from friendly to romantic.\\nYou might say something like “This has been on my heart for a while. I think you are so wonderful and to be honest, I like you as more than a friend.”\\n2-4. Listen.\\nAfter you have told them how you feel, allow them some time to also express themselves. Avoid preparing your next response to them in your head; truly and actively listen and hear them. \\nYou might want to say something like “Well, now you know how I feel. What do you think about us going out some time?”\\nAnswer any questions that they might have.\\n2-5. Ask them out.\\nIf they respond positively to your talk and indicate that they like you or would want to explore a romance, too, then ask them out. You might say something like “So, I was wondering, will you go out with me this Friday night?”\\n2-6. Give them some time to think.\\nRecognize that this all may feel very new to your best friend and they may need some time to think about whether they are interested or if they want your relationship to change. Assure them that you don’t need an answer right now and are willing to wait on them.\\n2-7. Use your common interests to create an ideal date.\\nIf your friend agreed to a date on the spot, then great! Or perhaps they did not give you an answer yet but you feel that they will go out with you. Take some items to plan out a fun date for the two of you that aligns with your interests, but is still romantic in nature.\\nPerhaps you might plan a romantic picnic in the park or a date to the movies.\\nBase the date around something that you are both interested in or something that your friend really likes, such as a concert of their favorite band.\\nSince this is a new experience for both of you, consider choosing an activity that you have both been interested in trying, such as the new mini golf place that just opened.\\n3. Avoiding Ruining the Friendship\\n3-1. Don’t involve other friends.\\nTry to avoid involving your friends in this process. Though it is okay to talk to them about your new relationship with your best friend, avoid giving them too many details. In the course of developing this new relationship with your best friend, you don’t want to alienate your other friends in the process. \\nAt first, the change in your relationship should remain private. Don't share details until you know that you want to be an official couple.\\nTry not to put them in the middle of the two of you.\\n3-2. Assess your mutual comfort level.\\nThough you have been accustomed to being friends for a while and may feel that you know your best friend very well, remember that you don’t know them in a romantic context. You both know about each other’s various relationships, but at the end of the day, you have never dated each other. Ask questions to find out what each other wants from a partner and a romance.\\nStart slowly so that you each have time to decide if you want the relationship to transition into a romantic one. Rushing things can put pressure on you both to make decisions that you're not ready to make, putting the relationship in jeopardy.\\nFor instance, find out how many nights a week they would want to hang out or go on dates.\\nFind out what you both are comfortable with sexually. Don’t engage in any sexual behavior until your friend is ready.\\nJumping in too quickly can make it difficult if one of you decides not to pursue a romantic relationship.\\n3-3. Don’t pressure your best friend.\\nPerhaps your friend has told you that they do not want to explore a romance with you. Though this might hurt you, do not try to make them do something that they do not want to do. Accept their decision and move forward. \\nTo move forward, take a bit of time to heal from this rejection. Cry if you need to. Connect with friends and spend time exploring your hobbies. Perhaps even go on a few dates.\\nSpend some time apart then gradually reconnect by doing activities that you two enjoyed before trying a romantic relationship. Consider hanging out in a group before getting together alone.\\nMake sure that both of you understand that hanging out together is never going to turn romantic. If either of you is holding out hope, then consider other options for spending time together, such as group hangouts only.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having a best friend can provide you much happiness, joy and comfort. Oftentimes, this is the person who knows your deepest secrets, who you laugh with, and who you spend the most time with. Sometimes, you might develop romantic feelings for your friend, leaving you feeling confused or nervous. However, you can ask your best friend out on a date if you set the stage, communicate your feelings to them, and avoid making common dating mistakes.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Setting the Stage for Romance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approach your feelings calmly.\", \"描述\": \"These romantic feelings that you now have for your friend are likely making you a bit anxious. However, it is important that you stay calm so that you don’t make your friend nervous, too. Take some deep breaths when you see them or when your heart starts to race. Choose your words carefully and speak slowly. Try not to allow your thoughts of them to consume your day; continue taking care of yourself and your responsibilities.\\nIf thoughts of them are taking over your mind, distract yourself.\\nHang out with friends or family who aren't connected to your best friend.\\nGet a project done that gets your body moving, like cleaning the house or painting your room.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flirt.\", \"描述\": \"Begin to set the tone for a potential romance through flirtation. Flirt with them slightly on occasion to assess their feelings for you. If they flirt back with you, this will help you be more confident in asking them out.\\nLean into them slightly when they are speaking.\\nLook softly at them in their eyes for a few seconds.\\nSmile brightly when you first see them.\\nLaugh at their jokes.\\nPut your hand on their shoulder when laughing.\\nYou can also hug them when you see them and when you are about to leave.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment them more.\", \"描述\": \"Most people like to be complimented, so use this to your advantage while letting them know that you admire them. If they look nice, let them know. If they do well on on assignment at work or school, let them know that you respect their intellect and diligence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Throw out hints.\", \"描述\": \"You can also begin to hint at you two going on a date. By doing this, you can better gauge their interest in becoming romantic with you and you can determine how to move forward.\\nYou might say something like “You know, everyone keeps asking if we date. Do people ask you that a lot, too?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look your best.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that physical attraction is critical in establishing a romance. Take special care of your hygiene, hair and clothes, particularly while you are trying to garner their romantic interest. Perhaps they like a certain scent; try to wear that fragrance more often.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicating Your Intentions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gather your thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Begin to think about all of the reasons why you like your friend and want to date them. This is crucial so that you can articulate this to them and so that you don’t make a mistake and ask them out just because you are lonely. Make a pros and cons list for asking your friend out.\\nFor example, a pro might be that you both have very similar interests and have a good time together.\\nA con might be if they are selfish or your general fear of ruining the friendship should the relationship go awry.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set aside some time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your friend if they have some time to talk to you about something. Find a time that works well for the both of you. Meet in a place that is quiet so that others won’t overhear the conversation.\\nYou can also have this talk over the phone if you are nervous.\\nConsider writing a letter if you feel that this will help you better articulate your thoughts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell them how you feel.\", \"描述\": \"Now is the time to open up to your friend about your feelings. Be very honest and genuine with them and try not to be overly dramatic. Talk to them about how your feelings for them have evolved from friendly to romantic.\\nYou might say something like “This has been on my heart for a while. I think you are so wonderful and to be honest, I like you as more than a friend.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen.\", \"描述\": \"After you have told them how you feel, allow them some time to also express themselves. Avoid preparing your next response to them in your head; truly and actively listen and hear them. \\nYou might want to say something like “Well, now you know how I feel. What do you think about us going out some time?”\\nAnswer any questions that they might have.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask them out.\", \"描述\": \"If they respond positively to your talk and indicate that they like you or would want to explore a romance, too, then ask them out. You might say something like “So, I was wondering, will you go out with me this Friday night?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give them some time to think.\", \"描述\": \"Recognize that this all may feel very new to your best friend and they may need some time to think about whether they are interested or if they want your relationship to change. Assure them that you don’t need an answer right now and are willing to wait on them.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use your common interests to create an ideal date.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend agreed to a date on the spot, then great! Or perhaps they did not give you an answer yet but you feel that they will go out with you. Take some items to plan out a fun date for the two of you that aligns with your interests, but is still romantic in nature.\\nPerhaps you might plan a romantic picnic in the park or a date to the movies.\\nBase the date around something that you are both interested in or something that your friend really likes, such as a concert of their favorite band.\\nSince this is a new experience for both of you, consider choosing an activity that you have both been interested in trying, such as the new mini golf place that just opened.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Ruining the Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t involve other friends.\", \"描述\": \"Try to avoid involving your friends in this process. Though it is okay to talk to them about your new relationship with your best friend, avoid giving them too many details. In the course of developing this new relationship with your best friend, you don’t want to alienate your other friends in the process. \\nAt first, the change in your relationship should remain private. Don't share details until you know that you want to be an official couple.\\nTry not to put them in the middle of the two of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assess your mutual comfort level.\", \"描述\": \"Though you have been accustomed to being friends for a while and may feel that you know your best friend very well, remember that you don’t know them in a romantic context. You both know about each other’s various relationships, but at the end of the day, you have never dated each other. Ask questions to find out what each other wants from a partner and a romance.\\nStart slowly so that you each have time to decide if you want the relationship to transition into a romantic one. Rushing things can put pressure on you both to make decisions that you're not ready to make, putting the relationship in jeopardy.\\nFor instance, find out how many nights a week they would want to hang out or go on dates.\\nFind out what you both are comfortable with sexually. Don’t engage in any sexual behavior until your friend is ready.\\nJumping in too quickly can make it difficult if one of you decides not to pursue a romantic relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t pressure your best friend.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps your friend has told you that they do not want to explore a romance with you. Though this might hurt you, do not try to make them do something that they do not want to do. Accept their decision and move forward. \\nTo move forward, take a bit of time to heal from this rejection. Cry if you need to. Connect with friends and spend time exploring your hobbies. Perhaps even go on a few dates.\\nSpend some time apart then gradually reconnect by doing activities that you two enjoyed before trying a romantic relationship. Consider hanging out in a group before getting together alone.\\nMake sure that both of you understand that hanging out together is never going to turn romantic. If either of you is holding out hope, then consider other options for spending time together, such as group hangouts only.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,454 | How to Ask Out Your Crush | 1. Getting to Know Your Crush
1-1. Talk to your crush.
It will be much easier to ask them out if you know each other, and they will be much more likely to say "yes." Start by striking up a simple conversation. Just casually say "hey," and introduce yourself.
If you're in class together, ask about the homework assignment or ask your crush for help understanding the material. If you are in a club together, strike up a conversation about the theme of the club.
Ask your crush about themselves. Ask how their day is going. Ask if they're excited about anything this weekend. It's easy!
1-2. Befriend your crush.
You don't need to be best friends, and you don't need to tell each other everything. However, friendship involves a certain amount of trust, and it will make you more of a known quantity in your crush's eyes. Try walking to class with your crush, or hanging out in a group setting. If you are a good fit for each other, they might even develop a crush on you!
1-3. Be honest and authentic
Don't try to make your crush think that you are someone you're not. Misleading this person is neither the best nor the most sustainable way to get them to go out with you. If you lie, it will come out eventually. If you try to act "cool" or imitate someone that you think is "cool," you might just make your crush uncomfortable. Don't bother with illusions.
If you are being true to yourself and doing the things that you really want to do, you will put more passion into those things. Many people find passion attractive.
1-4. Be as direct as possible.
If you want your crush's number, ask for their number – don't look it up elsewhere or ask someone else. If you want to know what your crush did this weekend, don't stalk them on Facebook – just ask. Following your crush around or putting them on a pedestal is no way to start a healthy relationship.
2. Setting the Scene
2-1. Do it in person.
If absolutely necessary, ask out your crush over the phone, or over a video call – but try not to pop the question over text. It can be much easier to communicate with people over text or instant messaging, especially people you like, but you may find that asking out a crush face-to-face is much more romantic. If casual and noncommittal is what you're looking for, then feel free to go the text route – but don't expect your crush to be impressed.
2-2. Try to make it natural.
Find a time when neither you nor your crush has anywhere else to be. They shouldn't be stressed or in a rush. If possible, pick a place where you're both comfortable, and where you would normally hang out or run into each other. Try to create as smooth and easy a moment as possible.
2-3. Get your crush alone.
This conversation will probably be much easier for both of you if you don't ask them out in front of a bunch of people. Many people have trouble talking about their feelings one-on-one, let alone when the spotlight is on them. If you don't normally find yourself alone with your crush, you'll need to create that space. It is much easier to get someone alone if you're friends, or at least on casual speaking terms.
Ask them to take a walk with you: home from school, or between classes, or around the block. Ask your crush to step outside with you for a second. You can say "Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" or "Want to walk to class with me?"
Especially don't ask someone out in front of their friends! Your crush might be embarrassed, or they might not want to talk about this in front of a bunch of people. You might be rejected just because your crush feels uncomfortable.
2-4. Try making small talk first.
Better yet, ask your crush out while you're already hanging out one-on-one. You don't have to jump straight into the big question. It might help you set the mood if you ask your crush about their day, crack some jokes, and listen to what they have to say. You should both feel comfortable and at ease.
2-5. Wait for the right moment.
Even the best-laid plans run into obstacles. Perhaps you tried to walk your crush home after school, but another couple of mutual friends decided to tag along. Be patient. You can always ask your crush out tomorrow, but it can be hard to take back an awkward moment that happened when you rushed things. Look for a time when everything seems right.
3. Asking Out Your Crush
3-1. Be bold!
It can be really hard to admit your feelings to someone that you like a lot. You might be nervously sweating, shaking, terrified – but you will probably feel much better once you get it over with. Ask yourself whether you will regret it if you never ask this person out. If you'll regret it, do it.
Think of it like jumping into cold water. You can spend all day staring at the water, feeling it with your toes, and thinking about how cold it will be. On the other hand, you can push your mind aside and jump in – at which point all you have to worry about is swimming, adjusting, or getting out.
If you can't bring yourself to do it, set yourself an incentive. Say, "I need to ask [my crush] out before Friday, or else I can't go to the party on Friday night." Give yourself a reason to cut through your hesitation and get it over with.
3-2. Be direct and honest.
Try to cut through the games and just tell your crush how you feel. This might be scary, but you also may find that this makes your task a lot simpler. Say, "Hey, I want to be clear. I like you a lot, and I want to spend more time with you. What do you think?"
3-3. Ask your crush to do something specific.
Don't ask them vaguely "out." Don't ask them to be your boyfriend or girlfriend if you haven't even been on a date. Suggest something fun and cheap that you'll both enjoy: a movie, a hike, a show, or a school event. If you ask this person to go somewhere with you alone, they will probably assume that it's a date – but you don't need to try to ask them to be your partner yet.
If there is a school dance coming up, ask your crush to go as your date. This can be a great opportunity to show someone how you feel. Keep in mind that unless you explicitly agree upon it, one date to date a dance does not necessarily mean that the two of you are "going out."
3-4. Take it slow.
Ask your crush out on one date, and let that date be exactly what it is. If you have already been going on dates with this person, and you want to ask them to date you exclusively, then you're looking at a different conversation. If the person is just a crush, you may want to keep the pressure off and take it slow.
3-5. Respect the "no."
If you ask out your crush, and they turn you down, you need to let that answer stand. It is one thing to be persistent because you really like someone; it is another thing to stalk someone, to pester them, and to make them uncomfortable. There are other fish in the sea. Be a considerate human being! You have to be direct and bold. Just get your courage hype yourself up to ask them.When you finally feel you can do it just go for it.
Tips
Be yourself. If you're not authentic, it might sometimes seem like you're a different person every day. You might put off your crush if you seem inauthentic.
Don't ask your crush repeatedly after they turn you down. Respect them and move on.
Whenever asking out your crush, what you want to do is to make them comfortable. Let her know that you are actually concerned about them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting to Know Your Crush\\n1-1. Talk to your crush.\\nIt will be much easier to ask them out if you know each other, and they will be much more likely to say \\\"yes.\\\" Start by striking up a simple conversation. Just casually say \\\"hey,\\\" and introduce yourself.\\nIf you're in class together, ask about the homework assignment or ask your crush for help understanding the material. If you are in a club together, strike up a conversation about the theme of the club.\\nAsk your crush about themselves. Ask how their day is going. Ask if they're excited about anything this weekend. It's easy!\\n1-2. Befriend your crush.\\nYou don't need to be best friends, and you don't need to tell each other everything. However, friendship involves a certain amount of trust, and it will make you more of a known quantity in your crush's eyes. Try walking to class with your crush, or hanging out in a group setting. If you are a good fit for each other, they might even develop a crush on you!\\n1-3. Be honest and authentic\\nDon't try to make your crush think that you are someone you're not. Misleading this person is neither the best nor the most sustainable way to get them to go out with you. If you lie, it will come out eventually. If you try to act \\\"cool\\\" or imitate someone that you think is \\\"cool,\\\" you might just make your crush uncomfortable. Don't bother with illusions.\\nIf you are being true to yourself and doing the things that you really want to do, you will put more passion into those things. Many people find passion attractive.\\n1-4. Be as direct as possible.\\nIf you want your crush's number, ask for their number – don't look it up elsewhere or ask someone else. If you want to know what your crush did this weekend, don't stalk them on Facebook – just ask. Following your crush around or putting them on a pedestal is no way to start a healthy relationship.\\n2. Setting the Scene\\n2-1. Do it in person.\\nIf absolutely necessary, ask out your crush over the phone, or over a video call – but try not to pop the question over text. It can be much easier to communicate with people over text or instant messaging, especially people you like, but you may find that asking out a crush face-to-face is much more romantic. If casual and noncommittal is what you're looking for, then feel free to go the text route – but don't expect your crush to be impressed.\\n2-2. Try to make it natural.\\nFind a time when neither you nor your crush has anywhere else to be. They shouldn't be stressed or in a rush. If possible, pick a place where you're both comfortable, and where you would normally hang out or run into each other. Try to create as smooth and easy a moment as possible.\\n2-3. Get your crush alone.\\nThis conversation will probably be much easier for both of you if you don't ask them out in front of a bunch of people. Many people have trouble talking about their feelings one-on-one, let alone when the spotlight is on them. If you don't normally find yourself alone with your crush, you'll need to create that space. It is much easier to get someone alone if you're friends, or at least on casual speaking terms.\\nAsk them to take a walk with you: home from school, or between classes, or around the block. Ask your crush to step outside with you for a second. You can say \\\"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?\\\" or \\\"Want to walk to class with me?\\\"\\nEspecially don't ask someone out in front of their friends! Your crush might be embarrassed, or they might not want to talk about this in front of a bunch of people. You might be rejected just because your crush feels uncomfortable.\\n2-4. Try making small talk first.\\nBetter yet, ask your crush out while you're already hanging out one-on-one. You don't have to jump straight into the big question. It might help you set the mood if you ask your crush about their day, crack some jokes, and listen to what they have to say. You should both feel comfortable and at ease.\\n2-5. Wait for the right moment.\\nEven the best-laid plans run into obstacles. Perhaps you tried to walk your crush home after school, but another couple of mutual friends decided to tag along. Be patient. You can always ask your crush out tomorrow, but it can be hard to take back an awkward moment that happened when you rushed things. Look for a time when everything seems right.\\n3. Asking Out Your Crush\\n3-1. Be bold!\\nIt can be really hard to admit your feelings to someone that you like a lot. You might be nervously sweating, shaking, terrified – but you will probably feel much better once you get it over with. Ask yourself whether you will regret it if you never ask this person out. If you'll regret it, do it.\\nThink of it like jumping into cold water. You can spend all day staring at the water, feeling it with your toes, and thinking about how cold it will be. On the other hand, you can push your mind aside and jump in – at which point all you have to worry about is swimming, adjusting, or getting out.\\nIf you can't bring yourself to do it, set yourself an incentive. Say, \\\"I need to ask [my crush] out before Friday, or else I can't go to the party on Friday night.\\\" Give yourself a reason to cut through your hesitation and get it over with.\\n3-2. Be direct and honest.\\nTry to cut through the games and just tell your crush how you feel. This might be scary, but you also may find that this makes your task a lot simpler. Say, \\\"Hey, I want to be clear. I like you a lot, and I want to spend more time with you. What do you think?\\\"\\n3-3. Ask your crush to do something specific.\\nDon't ask them vaguely \\\"out.\\\" Don't ask them to be your boyfriend or girlfriend if you haven't even been on a date. Suggest something fun and cheap that you'll both enjoy: a movie, a hike, a show, or a school event. If you ask this person to go somewhere with you alone, they will probably assume that it's a date – but you don't need to try to ask them to be your partner yet.\\nIf there is a school dance coming up, ask your crush to go as your date. This can be a great opportunity to show someone how you feel. Keep in mind that unless you explicitly agree upon it, one date to date a dance does not necessarily mean that the two of you are \\\"going out.\\\"\\n3-4. Take it slow.\\nAsk your crush out on one date, and let that date be exactly what it is. If you have already been going on dates with this person, and you want to ask them to date you exclusively, then you're looking at a different conversation. If the person is just a crush, you may want to keep the pressure off and take it slow.\\n3-5. Respect the \\\"no.\\\"\\nIf you ask out your crush, and they turn you down, you need to let that answer stand. It is one thing to be persistent because you really like someone; it is another thing to stalk someone, to pester them, and to make them uncomfortable. There are other fish in the sea. Be a considerate human being! You have to be direct and bold. Just get your courage hype yourself up to ask them.When you finally feel you can do it just go for it.\\nTips\\nBe yourself. If you're not authentic, it might sometimes seem like you're a different person every day. You might put off your crush if you seem inauthentic.\\nDon't ask your crush repeatedly after they turn you down. Respect them and move on.\\nWhenever asking out your crush, what you want to do is to make them comfortable. Let her know that you are actually concerned about them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re nervous about asking out your crush, you’re definitely not alone. We’ve all been there before. Asking out your crush (or even just talking to them) can be scary, but we’re here to help make it easier! We’ll walk you through how to get to know your crush better, set the stage for success, and finally ask them out. Plus we’ve got advice for overcoming your nerves and not being so afraid of rejection.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Your Crush\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to your crush.\", \"描述\": \"It will be much easier to ask them out if you know each other, and they will be much more likely to say \\\"yes.\\\" Start by striking up a simple conversation. Just casually say \\\"hey,\\\" and introduce yourself.\\nIf you're in class together, ask about the homework assignment or ask your crush for help understanding the material. If you are in a club together, strike up a conversation about the theme of the club.\\nAsk your crush about themselves. Ask how their day is going. Ask if they're excited about anything this weekend. It's easy!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Befriend your crush.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to be best friends, and you don't need to tell each other everything. However, friendship involves a certain amount of trust, and it will make you more of a known quantity in your crush's eyes. Try walking to class with your crush, or hanging out in a group setting. If you are a good fit for each other, they might even develop a crush on you!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest and authentic\", \"描述\": \"Don't try to make your crush think that you are someone you're not. Misleading this person is neither the best nor the most sustainable way to get them to go out with you. If you lie, it will come out eventually. If you try to act \\\"cool\\\" or imitate someone that you think is \\\"cool,\\\" you might just make your crush uncomfortable. Don't bother with illusions.\\nIf you are being true to yourself and doing the things that you really want to do, you will put more passion into those things. Many people find passion attractive.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be as direct as possible.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your crush's number, ask for their number – don't look it up elsewhere or ask someone else. If you want to know what your crush did this weekend, don't stalk them on Facebook – just ask. Following your crush around or putting them on a pedestal is no way to start a healthy relationship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Setting the Scene\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do it in person.\", \"描述\": \"If absolutely necessary, ask out your crush over the phone, or over a video call – but try not to pop the question over text. It can be much easier to communicate with people over text or instant messaging, especially people you like, but you may find that asking out a crush face-to-face is much more romantic. If casual and noncommittal is what you're looking for, then feel free to go the text route – but don't expect your crush to be impressed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to make it natural.\", \"描述\": \"Find a time when neither you nor your crush has anywhere else to be. They shouldn't be stressed or in a rush. If possible, pick a place where you're both comfortable, and where you would normally hang out or run into each other. Try to create as smooth and easy a moment as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get your crush alone.\", \"描述\": \"This conversation will probably be much easier for both of you if you don't ask them out in front of a bunch of people. Many people have trouble talking about their feelings one-on-one, let alone when the spotlight is on them. If you don't normally find yourself alone with your crush, you'll need to create that space. It is much easier to get someone alone if you're friends, or at least on casual speaking terms.\\nAsk them to take a walk with you: home from school, or between classes, or around the block. Ask your crush to step outside with you for a second. You can say \\\"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?\\\" or \\\"Want to walk to class with me?\\\"\\nEspecially don't ask someone out in front of their friends! Your crush might be embarrassed, or they might not want to talk about this in front of a bunch of people. You might be rejected just because your crush feels uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try making small talk first.\", \"描述\": \"Better yet, ask your crush out while you're already hanging out one-on-one. You don't have to jump straight into the big question. It might help you set the mood if you ask your crush about their day, crack some jokes, and listen to what they have to say. You should both feel comfortable and at ease.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wait for the right moment.\", \"描述\": \"Even the best-laid plans run into obstacles. Perhaps you tried to walk your crush home after school, but another couple of mutual friends decided to tag along. Be patient. You can always ask your crush out tomorrow, but it can be hard to take back an awkward moment that happened when you rushed things. Look for a time when everything seems right.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Out Your Crush\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be bold!\", \"描述\": \"It can be really hard to admit your feelings to someone that you like a lot. You might be nervously sweating, shaking, terrified – but you will probably feel much better once you get it over with. Ask yourself whether you will regret it if you never ask this person out. If you'll regret it, do it.\\nThink of it like jumping into cold water. You can spend all day staring at the water, feeling it with your toes, and thinking about how cold it will be. On the other hand, you can push your mind aside and jump in – at which point all you have to worry about is swimming, adjusting, or getting out.\\nIf you can't bring yourself to do it, set yourself an incentive. Say, \\\"I need to ask [my crush] out before Friday, or else I can't go to the party on Friday night.\\\" Give yourself a reason to cut through your hesitation and get it over with.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be direct and honest.\", \"描述\": \"Try to cut through the games and just tell your crush how you feel. This might be scary, but you also may find that this makes your task a lot simpler. Say, \\\"Hey, I want to be clear. I like you a lot, and I want to spend more time with you. What do you think?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your crush to do something specific.\", \"描述\": \"Don't ask them vaguely \\\"out.\\\" Don't ask them to be your boyfriend or girlfriend if you haven't even been on a date. Suggest something fun and cheap that you'll both enjoy: a movie, a hike, a show, or a school event. If you ask this person to go somewhere with you alone, they will probably assume that it's a date – but you don't need to try to ask them to be your partner yet.\\nIf there is a school dance coming up, ask your crush to go as your date. This can be a great opportunity to show someone how you feel. Keep in mind that unless you explicitly agree upon it, one date to date a dance does not necessarily mean that the two of you are \\\"going out.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take it slow.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your crush out on one date, and let that date be exactly what it is. If you have already been going on dates with this person, and you want to ask them to date you exclusively, then you're looking at a different conversation. If the person is just a crush, you may want to keep the pressure off and take it slow.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Respect the \\\"no.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"If you ask out your crush, and they turn you down, you need to let that answer stand. It is one thing to be persistent because you really like someone; it is another thing to stalk someone, to pester them, and to make them uncomfortable. There are other fish in the sea. Be a considerate human being! You have to be direct and bold. Just get your courage hype yourself up to ask them.When you finally feel you can do it just go for it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be yourself. If you're not authentic, it might sometimes seem like you're a different person every day. You might put off your crush if you seem inauthentic.\\n\", \"Don't ask your crush repeatedly after they turn you down. Respect them and move on.\\n\", \"Whenever asking out your crush, what you want to do is to make them comfortable. Let her know that you are actually concerned about them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,455 | How to Ask Out Your Crush at School | 1. Getting to Know Your Crush
1-1. Become friends
Before you ask your crush to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, you should be actual friends first! Your crush is much more likely to say no to going out with you if they don't know who you are. Pay attention to them, use their name when you speak to them, and try to make some small talk whenever you can to start up a conversation.
Ask your crush to sit with you at lunch or try to sit with your crush and their friends.
Offer to be your crush's partner in group or class projects.
Be friendly to your crush's friends as well. People's friends are often the people who know them best, so if you plan to ask out your crush, you should also be friends with their friends.
1-2. Talk to them
Part of being friends with someone is sharing common interests. Talk to your crush about what their favorite music and movies are. Ask them what food they like and what foods they don't like. It may turn out that you have more in common than you think, and your relationship can become stronger because of it.
It may also turn out that you don't have much in common at all, and that's okay, too!
If your crush has a hobby that you're unfamiliar with, if you make an effort to learn about it and show interest in it, it could make your crush like you more.
Be genuine about your interests. Your crush may be able to tell if you're pretending to like something and it could turn them away.
1-3. Spend some time together
It's important to get to know your crush outside of the school setting, where people can feel more open to express themselves. You can ask your crush if they want to study or do homework with you to make it less awkward. Or you could invite them to hang out with you and your friends so they get to know them as well.
Group activities like going to the movies are a great way to invite your crush to spend time with you without the pressure of spending time alone.
1-4. Exchange phone numbers and add them on social media.
If you've become friends with your crush, then you can ask for their number and add them on social media to start communicating with them there. You can also find out more about your crush's interests from their social media profiles.
Texting is a great, informal way of talking to your crush without the pressure of a phone conversation.
Like and comment on their Facebook and Instagram posts and reply to their Snapchats to let them know you're thinking of them.
Make sure you don't overdo it! If you come on too strong and send too many messages it could make your crush think you're weird or clingy and ruin your chances!
2. Feeling Out the Situation
2-1. Ask one of your crush's friends what your crush thinks about you.
Your crush's friends are some of the people who know them best. If you've established a good friendship with your crush and their friends, you can ask them if they think that your crush likes you and wants to go out with you.
Try asking a friend of your crush, “Hey, so do you know if (Your Crush) likes anybody right now?” If their friend knows that your crush likes you, they may just tell you!
Asking one of their friends could also save you some pain and embarrassment if your crush isn't interested at all or is interested in someone else.
If you can, ask your crush's best friend. Tell them about your feelings and ask them if they know if your crush has any feelings for you.
2-2. Try to flirt a little with your crush and see if they flirt back.
Establishing a good friendship is an important part of a relationship, but you need to have chemistry to have a romantic relationship. A little flirting is a great way to see if you and your crush have a real connection. Tease them a little bit, compliment their appearance, engage in some lighthearted joking.
If your crush flirts back and initiates their own flirting, then asking them out is starting to look pretty good!
2-3. Send funny texts and memes and gauge how your crush responds.
Texting or messaging your crush funny and flirtatious texts and memes demonstrate that you understand their interests and sense of humor. If your crush responds with texts or memes that show that they understand your humor and what you're into, it's a great sign that they may like you.
For example, if your crush is super into dinosaurs, you could send them a funny dinosaur meme.
You could send heart emojis or other cute graphics and see if they respond with similar emojis that would hint that they may like you.
Be careful not to overwhelm your crush with too many messages, and don't demand an immediate response to your messages because that can come off as clingy.
2-4. Hint at asking out your crush to see how they react.
Before you actually try to ask your crush out, you could playfully joke about dating them to see how they respond to the idea. Try saying something like, “We should just date then” or “Why aren't we together already?” If they seem really surprised or upset, or if they say something like, “But we're just good friends,” you may want to hold off on asking them out.
It's okay if they're hesitant at first, maybe the time just isn't right for you to try.
If your crush responds favorably, like if they agree that the idea sounds good, you should feel comfortable asking them out in the future.
3. Asking Them Out
3-1. Find a private place at school where you can ask your crush out.
If you're going to tell your crush about the feelings you have for them, it will definitely be easier to do if you guys have some time alone away from both of your groups of friends. By their locker after school is a great place if most people have gone for the day, or maybe in the parking lot before they go home after school.
During or after a school dance is also a good location to ask them. The dark lighting and loud music can help provide you with a little bit of privacy, even if other people are around.
Don't ask them before a test or early in the day because they may be stressed out and you don't want to distract them and ruin your chances.
3-2. Rehearse what you plan to say to settle your nerves.
There's no way you can completely shake off your nerves before asking your crush out. After all, it's a big chance your taking! But you can help to focus your mind and calm your anxiety by preparing and rehearsing what you're going to say to your crush.
Consider writing out what you plan to say so you can try to memorize it.
You can also practice asking them out in the mirror so you can see what you look like.
3-3. Tell your crush
You can start a conversation with some small talk to break the ice, but when it comes time to ask your crush out, you should tell them, “Hey, so, I really want to tell you something,” so you have their full attention. Tell them how you feel about them and that you want to be more than friends. Then, just ask them point blank, “Will you go out with me?”
Ask with confidence and wait for their response. It may take your crush a moment to process what you've said to them. Be patient.
3-4. Tell your crush that it's okay if they say no.
You don't want to jeopardize your friendship by putting too much pressure on them. You also don't want to make things weird if they don't feel the same way about you. If they don't want to go out with you, tell them, “It's okay, I just wanted you to know how I felt, but it's okay if you don't feel the same way. I hope we can still be friends.”
It's okay to feel heartbroken and sad about your crush saying no. You can take some time to mope about it, but try to pull yourself out of the rut by doing activities you enjoy and spending time with friends.
3-5. Be okay with the possibility of your crush saying no.
Although it may hurt your feelings, you need to prepare yourself for your crushing saying that they don't want to go out with you. Listen closely to what your crush says. Maybe it just isn't the right time, or maybe they're still getting over a recent relationship. Whatever the reason, if your crush says no, it isn't the end of the world.
Maybe your crush isn't allowed to date yet, and you can continue your friendship until the time is right.
Just because they don't want to go out with you doesn't mean you can't still be friends and enjoy spending time together.
3-6. Send a text or give your crush a note at school.
If you're unable to ask your crush out in person, you can write them a well-thought and sweet note that expresses how you feel. Explain your feelings and tell them that you want to be more than friends. Then, ask them if they want to go out with you.
Writing your thoughts gives you a chance to consider what you want to say and make sure you say it right.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting to Know Your Crush\\n1-1. Become friends\\nBefore you ask your crush to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, you should be actual friends first! Your crush is much more likely to say no to going out with you if they don't know who you are. Pay attention to them, use their name when you speak to them, and try to make some small talk whenever you can to start up a conversation.\\nAsk your crush to sit with you at lunch or try to sit with your crush and their friends.\\nOffer to be your crush's partner in group or class projects.\\nBe friendly to your crush's friends as well. People's friends are often the people who know them best, so if you plan to ask out your crush, you should also be friends with their friends.\\n1-2. Talk to them\\nPart of being friends with someone is sharing common interests. Talk to your crush about what their favorite music and movies are. Ask them what food they like and what foods they don't like. It may turn out that you have more in common than you think, and your relationship can become stronger because of it.\\nIt may also turn out that you don't have much in common at all, and that's okay, too!\\nIf your crush has a hobby that you're unfamiliar with, if you make an effort to learn about it and show interest in it, it could make your crush like you more.\\nBe genuine about your interests. Your crush may be able to tell if you're pretending to like something and it could turn them away.\\n1-3. Spend some time together\\nIt's important to get to know your crush outside of the school setting, where people can feel more open to express themselves. You can ask your crush if they want to study or do homework with you to make it less awkward. Or you could invite them to hang out with you and your friends so they get to know them as well.\\nGroup activities like going to the movies are a great way to invite your crush to spend time with you without the pressure of spending time alone.\\n1-4. Exchange phone numbers and add them on social media.\\nIf you've become friends with your crush, then you can ask for their number and add them on social media to start communicating with them there. You can also find out more about your crush's interests from their social media profiles.\\nTexting is a great, informal way of talking to your crush without the pressure of a phone conversation.\\nLike and comment on their Facebook and Instagram posts and reply to their Snapchats to let them know you're thinking of them.\\nMake sure you don't overdo it! If you come on too strong and send too many messages it could make your crush think you're weird or clingy and ruin your chances!\\n2. Feeling Out the Situation\\n2-1. Ask one of your crush's friends what your crush thinks about you.\\nYour crush's friends are some of the people who know them best. If you've established a good friendship with your crush and their friends, you can ask them if they think that your crush likes you and wants to go out with you.\\nTry asking a friend of your crush, “Hey, so do you know if (Your Crush) likes anybody right now?” If their friend knows that your crush likes you, they may just tell you!\\nAsking one of their friends could also save you some pain and embarrassment if your crush isn't interested at all or is interested in someone else.\\nIf you can, ask your crush's best friend. Tell them about your feelings and ask them if they know if your crush has any feelings for you.\\n2-2. Try to flirt a little with your crush and see if they flirt back.\\nEstablishing a good friendship is an important part of a relationship, but you need to have chemistry to have a romantic relationship. A little flirting is a great way to see if you and your crush have a real connection. Tease them a little bit, compliment their appearance, engage in some lighthearted joking.\\nIf your crush flirts back and initiates their own flirting, then asking them out is starting to look pretty good!\\n2-3. Send funny texts and memes and gauge how your crush responds.\\nTexting or messaging your crush funny and flirtatious texts and memes demonstrate that you understand their interests and sense of humor. If your crush responds with texts or memes that show that they understand your humor and what you're into, it's a great sign that they may like you.\\nFor example, if your crush is super into dinosaurs, you could send them a funny dinosaur meme.\\nYou could send heart emojis or other cute graphics and see if they respond with similar emojis that would hint that they may like you.\\nBe careful not to overwhelm your crush with too many messages, and don't demand an immediate response to your messages because that can come off as clingy.\\n2-4. Hint at asking out your crush to see how they react.\\nBefore you actually try to ask your crush out, you could playfully joke about dating them to see how they respond to the idea. Try saying something like, “We should just date then” or “Why aren't we together already?” If they seem really surprised or upset, or if they say something like, “But we're just good friends,” you may want to hold off on asking them out.\\nIt's okay if they're hesitant at first, maybe the time just isn't right for you to try.\\nIf your crush responds favorably, like if they agree that the idea sounds good, you should feel comfortable asking them out in the future.\\n3. Asking Them Out\\n3-1. Find a private place at school where you can ask your crush out.\\nIf you're going to tell your crush about the feelings you have for them, it will definitely be easier to do if you guys have some time alone away from both of your groups of friends. By their locker after school is a great place if most people have gone for the day, or maybe in the parking lot before they go home after school.\\nDuring or after a school dance is also a good location to ask them. The dark lighting and loud music can help provide you with a little bit of privacy, even if other people are around.\\nDon't ask them before a test or early in the day because they may be stressed out and you don't want to distract them and ruin your chances.\\n3-2. Rehearse what you plan to say to settle your nerves.\\nThere's no way you can completely shake off your nerves before asking your crush out. After all, it's a big chance your taking! But you can help to focus your mind and calm your anxiety by preparing and rehearsing what you're going to say to your crush.\\nConsider writing out what you plan to say so you can try to memorize it.\\nYou can also practice asking them out in the mirror so you can see what you look like.\\n3-3. Tell your crush\\nYou can start a conversation with some small talk to break the ice, but when it comes time to ask your crush out, you should tell them, “Hey, so, I really want to tell you something,” so you have their full attention. Tell them how you feel about them and that you want to be more than friends. Then, just ask them point blank, “Will you go out with me?”\\nAsk with confidence and wait for their response. It may take your crush a moment to process what you've said to them. Be patient.\\n3-4. Tell your crush that it's okay if they say no.\\nYou don't want to jeopardize your friendship by putting too much pressure on them. You also don't want to make things weird if they don't feel the same way about you. If they don't want to go out with you, tell them, “It's okay, I just wanted you to know how I felt, but it's okay if you don't feel the same way. I hope we can still be friends.”\\nIt's okay to feel heartbroken and sad about your crush saying no. You can take some time to mope about it, but try to pull yourself out of the rut by doing activities you enjoy and spending time with friends.\\n3-5. Be okay with the possibility of your crush saying no.\\nAlthough it may hurt your feelings, you need to prepare yourself for your crushing saying that they don't want to go out with you. Listen closely to what your crush says. Maybe it just isn't the right time, or maybe they're still getting over a recent relationship. Whatever the reason, if your crush says no, it isn't the end of the world.\\nMaybe your crush isn't allowed to date yet, and you can continue your friendship until the time is right.\\nJust because they don't want to go out with you doesn't mean you can't still be friends and enjoy spending time together.\\n3-6. Send a text or give your crush a note at school.\\nIf you're unable to ask your crush out in person, you can write them a well-thought and sweet note that expresses how you feel. Explain your feelings and tell them that you want to be more than friends. Then, ask them if they want to go out with you.\\nWriting your thoughts gives you a chance to consider what you want to say and make sure you say it right.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking out your crush is a nerve-wracking experience, especially when you go to school together. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a shot and tell them how you feel about them. You can work to get to know your crush to see if they're interested in going out with you, but in the end, the only way to know, is to ask!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Your Crush\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Become friends\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask your crush to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, you should be actual friends first! Your crush is much more likely to say no to going out with you if they don't know who you are. Pay attention to them, use their name when you speak to them, and try to make some small talk whenever you can to start up a conversation.\\nAsk your crush to sit with you at lunch or try to sit with your crush and their friends.\\nOffer to be your crush's partner in group or class projects.\\nBe friendly to your crush's friends as well. People's friends are often the people who know them best, so if you plan to ask out your crush, you should also be friends with their friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to them\", \"描述\": \"Part of being friends with someone is sharing common interests. Talk to your crush about what their favorite music and movies are. Ask them what food they like and what foods they don't like. It may turn out that you have more in common than you think, and your relationship can become stronger because of it.\\nIt may also turn out that you don't have much in common at all, and that's okay, too!\\nIf your crush has a hobby that you're unfamiliar with, if you make an effort to learn about it and show interest in it, it could make your crush like you more.\\nBe genuine about your interests. Your crush may be able to tell if you're pretending to like something and it could turn them away.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend some time together\", \"描述\": \"It's important to get to know your crush outside of the school setting, where people can feel more open to express themselves. You can ask your crush if they want to study or do homework with you to make it less awkward. Or you could invite them to hang out with you and your friends so they get to know them as well.\\nGroup activities like going to the movies are a great way to invite your crush to spend time with you without the pressure of spending time alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Exchange phone numbers and add them on social media.\", \"描述\": \"If you've become friends with your crush, then you can ask for their number and add them on social media to start communicating with them there. You can also find out more about your crush's interests from their social media profiles.\\nTexting is a great, informal way of talking to your crush without the pressure of a phone conversation.\\nLike and comment on their Facebook and Instagram posts and reply to their Snapchats to let them know you're thinking of them.\\nMake sure you don't overdo it! If you come on too strong and send too many messages it could make your crush think you're weird or clingy and ruin your chances!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Feeling Out the Situation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask one of your crush's friends what your crush thinks about you.\", \"描述\": \"Your crush's friends are some of the people who know them best. If you've established a good friendship with your crush and their friends, you can ask them if they think that your crush likes you and wants to go out with you.\\nTry asking a friend of your crush, “Hey, so do you know if (Your Crush) likes anybody right now?” If their friend knows that your crush likes you, they may just tell you!\\nAsking one of their friends could also save you some pain and embarrassment if your crush isn't interested at all or is interested in someone else.\\nIf you can, ask your crush's best friend. Tell them about your feelings and ask them if they know if your crush has any feelings for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to flirt a little with your crush and see if they flirt back.\", \"描述\": \"Establishing a good friendship is an important part of a relationship, but you need to have chemistry to have a romantic relationship. A little flirting is a great way to see if you and your crush have a real connection. Tease them a little bit, compliment their appearance, engage in some lighthearted joking.\\nIf your crush flirts back and initiates their own flirting, then asking them out is starting to look pretty good!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send funny texts and memes and gauge how your crush responds.\", \"描述\": \"Texting or messaging your crush funny and flirtatious texts and memes demonstrate that you understand their interests and sense of humor. If your crush responds with texts or memes that show that they understand your humor and what you're into, it's a great sign that they may like you.\\nFor example, if your crush is super into dinosaurs, you could send them a funny dinosaur meme.\\nYou could send heart emojis or other cute graphics and see if they respond with similar emojis that would hint that they may like you.\\nBe careful not to overwhelm your crush with too many messages, and don't demand an immediate response to your messages because that can come off as clingy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hint at asking out your crush to see how they react.\", \"描述\": \"Before you actually try to ask your crush out, you could playfully joke about dating them to see how they respond to the idea. Try saying something like, “We should just date then” or “Why aren't we together already?” If they seem really surprised or upset, or if they say something like, “But we're just good friends,” you may want to hold off on asking them out.\\nIt's okay if they're hesitant at first, maybe the time just isn't right for you to try.\\nIf your crush responds favorably, like if they agree that the idea sounds good, you should feel comfortable asking them out in the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Them Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a private place at school where you can ask your crush out.\", \"描述\": \"If you're going to tell your crush about the feelings you have for them, it will definitely be easier to do if you guys have some time alone away from both of your groups of friends. By their locker after school is a great place if most people have gone for the day, or maybe in the parking lot before they go home after school.\\nDuring or after a school dance is also a good location to ask them. The dark lighting and loud music can help provide you with a little bit of privacy, even if other people are around.\\nDon't ask them before a test or early in the day because they may be stressed out and you don't want to distract them and ruin your chances.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Rehearse what you plan to say to settle your nerves.\", \"描述\": \"There's no way you can completely shake off your nerves before asking your crush out. After all, it's a big chance your taking! But you can help to focus your mind and calm your anxiety by preparing and rehearsing what you're going to say to your crush.\\nConsider writing out what you plan to say so you can try to memorize it.\\nYou can also practice asking them out in the mirror so you can see what you look like.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell your crush\", \"描述\": \"You can start a conversation with some small talk to break the ice, but when it comes time to ask your crush out, you should tell them, “Hey, so, I really want to tell you something,” so you have their full attention. Tell them how you feel about them and that you want to be more than friends. Then, just ask them point blank, “Will you go out with me?”\\nAsk with confidence and wait for their response. It may take your crush a moment to process what you've said to them. Be patient.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell your crush that it's okay if they say no.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to jeopardize your friendship by putting too much pressure on them. You also don't want to make things weird if they don't feel the same way about you. If they don't want to go out with you, tell them, “It's okay, I just wanted you to know how I felt, but it's okay if you don't feel the same way. I hope we can still be friends.”\\nIt's okay to feel heartbroken and sad about your crush saying no. You can take some time to mope about it, but try to pull yourself out of the rut by doing activities you enjoy and spending time with friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be okay with the possibility of your crush saying no.\", \"描述\": \"Although it may hurt your feelings, you need to prepare yourself for your crushing saying that they don't want to go out with you. Listen closely to what your crush says. Maybe it just isn't the right time, or maybe they're still getting over a recent relationship. Whatever the reason, if your crush says no, it isn't the end of the world.\\nMaybe your crush isn't allowed to date yet, and you can continue your friendship until the time is right.\\nJust because they don't want to go out with you doesn't mean you can't still be friends and enjoy spending time together.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Send a text or give your crush a note at school.\", \"描述\": \"If you're unable to ask your crush out in person, you can write them a well-thought and sweet note that expresses how you feel. Explain your feelings and tell them that you want to be more than friends. Then, ask them if they want to go out with you.\\nWriting your thoughts gives you a chance to consider what you want to say and make sure you say it right.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,456 | How to Ask Out a Girl at School | 1. Asking Her Out Online
1-1. Get her number if you don't already have it.
Before you can ask a girl out through text, you'll need to be able to contact her! Get her number from a friend, or ask her for her number if you know her. To play it casually, you can ask her for her number in case you have homework questions or another school-related topic.
Try saying something like, "Hey, can I have your number so we can chat about math class?"
Alternatively, you could simply say, "Hey, what's your phone number?" if she seems friendly.
1-2. Friend her on social media if you'd prefer.
If you don't have her number, and aren't sure how to get it, don't worry! She may be reachable on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or another social media site! Ask her friends which one she uses, and friend her through the site.
Friending people from school is pretty common, so if you're nervous about asking her for her number, this is a great way around that problem!
Some people use different last names on social media, so make sure you found the right profile before sending the friend request.
1-3. Message her casually asking for a date.
Sending a message, whether via text or online messaging system, is a laid-back way of asking her out without a whole lot of pressure. There’s no shame in asking someone on a date through messaging these days, and it gives her a chance to reply when she's available! Leave a private message on social media saying, “Hey, what’s up? I’d like to get to know you better. Would you like to hang out this weekend?”
For example, “Are you free on Tuesday or Wednesday evening?” She may ask “Why?” or respond, “Yes.” Follow up with, “Why don’t we hang out for a bit? I have some free time.”
If she says yes to hanging out, suggest a time and place.
Be prepared for her to suggest a time that works for her, and try to be available when she is. If you aren't, suggest an alternative to keep the date alive!
1-4. Suggest a specific activity if you'd prefer a more planned approach.
If asking her out for an open-ended date seems to scary, try asking her to go to specific event with you. For example, you might say something like "Hey, do you want to go to a concert on Wednesday?" or "I heard the new horror movie is really scary, would you want to go watch it with me on Saturday?"
For example, ask her, “How about we meet later this week for this play in the park?” Or, “How about we meet later this week for some coffee?”
Try different ideas, but stuck with things you’re comfortable with. Don’t suggest rock climbing if it’s something you’ve never done before!
1-5. Use a more exciting approach to suggest something out of the ordinary.
This is a good approach if you’ve shown that you have a spontaneous side. Express that you have an interesting idea for something you two can do later in the week, and don't be afraid to be a little mysterious!
For example, say, “Any chance you'd want to come on an adventure with me on Thursday?"
A more humorous approach would be, “Let’s get to know each other better over some caffeine and figure out how much we complement each other in person.”
1-6. Invite her to something you already have plans for.
This is a great way to ask a girl out if you’re already going to an event such as a show, a game, or a local event. You’ll be asking her to go somewhere with you that you would’ve done with or without her, so it’s no big deal if she says no.
For instance, “On Saturday, I’m going to the ball game. Why don’t you join me?”
2. Setting Up a Cute Ask
2-1. Read the situation so you don’t embarrass her.
Depending on the girl, she may not be thrilled to be asked out in front of her friends, family, or in a really public situation. Try to gauge her embarrassment level and what she's into, and create an ask that will appeal to her!
2-2. Write a note to let her know you’d appreciate her company if she's more private.
Keep it short and simple with something along the lines of, “Will you go out with me?” Then, you can figure out a creative way to get the note to her so its' a surprise!
For example, offer her a piece of gum that’s wrapped in a note with your question written on it.
Alternatively, you might try slipping the note into one of her notebooks so she sees it when she gets to class.
2-3. Use a journal to ask her out romantically.
If you're good friends, try recording the time you spend together in a notebook. As you get to know her more, you’ll write more entries expressing your feelings. Once you’re ready to ask her out, write it in the journal and present it to her.
Write a note on a blank page that says, “There are 40 more pages in this journal. The first 19 pages were our memories from my perspective. I’d like the remaining to be memories from our perspective. Be mine?”
If you don't know her very well, this may come across as a bit creepy, so make sure she'd like this ask!
2-4. Steal her phone to ask her out.
Just take her phone when she’s not looking and change your name in her contacts to “Be My Girlfriend,” and put a cute image of a baby animal as your picture. Give her the phone back and call her.
Only do this if you know that she won’t be put off by you sneaking into her phone.
3. Getting to Know Her
3-1. Find common ground by talking to her.
If you are in similar classes or you've seen her reading a book you read, bring that up so you have something to talk about together. Bonding over something you have in common is a great way to get to know more about her!
Introduce yourself to the girl you like if she doesn't know your name. Try walking up to her and saying, “Hey. my name is Sam. What’s your name?”
One way to do this is to ask her how her classes are going and what her favorite class is.
Let her talk about her favorite subject and listen rather than interrupt her.
Don’t pretend to share the same interests with her just to make her interested in you, because she’ll figure it out and you may lose her trust.
3-2. Learn more by talking to her about her life.
Ask her if she has any pets, what her hobbies are, and if she’s involved in any after-school groups. Don’t ask her for her number or say anything about dating right off the bat, because that may make her uncomfortable.
Open a conversation with, “How was the test in English?” or “How’s your day going?”
Don’t say, “You look good. Can I get your number?” This isn’t a conversation opener.
3-3. Compliment her.
Start by complimenting something that’s obvious like her style. Say you like her glasses or hair today. If you know more about her personally, compliment her intelligence or something else you like about her personality. Say something positive about her creativity, her compassion, or anything you like about her.
Remember, sexual harassment is not a compliment. Avoid saying anything about sex if you haven’t gotten her consent to talk about it with her.
If you know that she likes to make art, tell her, “You’re very creative. I’d like to see more of your work.”
If you’re in the same class, and she made an insightful comment, tell her, “You’re really perceptive.” It will make her feel good about herself!
3-4. Be honest about yourself and your accomplishments.
Talk about your interests, such as hobbies, music, books, shows, and so on. Don’t be insincere and make up stories that you’re on the football team when you’re not, but don't be afraid to talk about things you've accomplished! A girl will want to know you for who you are.
The more you share your interests, the more you’ll find out you have in common!
3-5. Show her that you’re listening to her while she talks.
Maybe you don’t like the same books that she does, but remember that conversation you had where she told you what books she likes? That’s where listening is helpful, because you can show your interest by giving her a book by an author she likes as a gift. Anyone would be deeply touched by this.
For example, if you’ve been listening to this girl, you might remember that she likes a certain movie franchise, so maybe you can get two tickets to see the next installment. It doesn’t matter whether you like it or not. The point is that you’re demonstrating you’ve been listening to her.
3-6. Ask her out directly once you've become friends.
Once you know more about her, ask her if you can talk to her privately. Then, when you're alone with her, ask her out!
Try not to jump straight into the question. Instead, add her about her day, make small talk, then ask her out.
You might ask her if she's doing anything this weekend, and then say something like “I’d like to get to know you better, and I was wondering if you’d like to get some coffee with me this weekend?”
Another example would be, “That new movie that you’ve been wanting to see is playing. Would you like to go see it with me?”
3-7. Ask her to go with you to an event with your friends to make it seem less like a "date."
If you don’t want to show the girl how much you’re feeling yet, then inviting her to a party you’re hosting or an event with a group of friends will allow you to spend time with her without expressing vulnerable emotions early on.
This is a great opportunity to learn more about each other.
3-8. Be sincere when asking her out.
You're more likely to get a "yes!" if you don't try to play off your request. Even if she says no, say "ok" and respect her decision. It might be tempting to pretend you asker her out as a joke, but that might hurt your friendship in the long run.
Tips
Plan a date activity you know she’s interested in. If she’s a fan of superhero movies, invite her to see the newest one. When you’re planning, write down what you want to say to her and what day you want to approach her to ask. [13]
X
Research source
Some girls will notice that you like them, and some won't. If you feel like she doesn't know, then smile or wave at her when you walk by. Try not to look at her all the time, she'll think you're creepy! Just be yourself and wait a while. She might ask you out after a while.
Take a breath mint before asking your crush on a date.
Warnings
Don't wait around forever, waiting for her to say yes. Just move on to someone else who likes you back.
Don’t stare or follow her. That’s scary, and it won’t make her like you.[14]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Her Out Online\\n1-1. Get her number if you don't already have it.\\nBefore you can ask a girl out through text, you'll need to be able to contact her! Get her number from a friend, or ask her for her number if you know her. To play it casually, you can ask her for her number in case you have homework questions or another school-related topic.\\nTry saying something like, \\\"Hey, can I have your number so we can chat about math class?\\\"\\nAlternatively, you could simply say, \\\"Hey, what's your phone number?\\\" if she seems friendly.\\n1-2. Friend her on social media if you'd prefer.\\nIf you don't have her number, and aren't sure how to get it, don't worry! She may be reachable on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or another social media site! Ask her friends which one she uses, and friend her through the site.\\nFriending people from school is pretty common, so if you're nervous about asking her for her number, this is a great way around that problem!\\nSome people use different last names on social media, so make sure you found the right profile before sending the friend request.\\n1-3. Message her casually asking for a date.\\nSending a message, whether via text or online messaging system, is a laid-back way of asking her out without a whole lot of pressure. There’s no shame in asking someone on a date through messaging these days, and it gives her a chance to reply when she's available! Leave a private message on social media saying, “Hey, what’s up? I’d like to get to know you better. Would you like to hang out this weekend?”\\nFor example, “Are you free on Tuesday or Wednesday evening?” She may ask “Why?” or respond, “Yes.” Follow up with, “Why don’t we hang out for a bit? I have some free time.”\\nIf she says yes to hanging out, suggest a time and place.\\nBe prepared for her to suggest a time that works for her, and try to be available when she is. If you aren't, suggest an alternative to keep the date alive!\\n1-4. Suggest a specific activity if you'd prefer a more planned approach.\\nIf asking her out for an open-ended date seems to scary, try asking her to go to specific event with you. For example, you might say something like \\\"Hey, do you want to go to a concert on Wednesday?\\\" or \\\"I heard the new horror movie is really scary, would you want to go watch it with me on Saturday?\\\"\\nFor example, ask her, “How about we meet later this week for this play in the park?” Or, “How about we meet later this week for some coffee?”\\nTry different ideas, but stuck with things you’re comfortable with. Don’t suggest rock climbing if it’s something you’ve never done before!\\n1-5. Use a more exciting approach to suggest something out of the ordinary.\\nThis is a good approach if you’ve shown that you have a spontaneous side. Express that you have an interesting idea for something you two can do later in the week, and don't be afraid to be a little mysterious!\\nFor example, say, “Any chance you'd want to come on an adventure with me on Thursday?\\\"\\nA more humorous approach would be, “Let’s get to know each other better over some caffeine and figure out how much we complement each other in person.”\\n1-6. Invite her to something you already have plans for.\\nThis is a great way to ask a girl out if you’re already going to an event such as a show, a game, or a local event. You’ll be asking her to go somewhere with you that you would’ve done with or without her, so it’s no big deal if she says no.\\nFor instance, “On Saturday, I’m going to the ball game. Why don’t you join me?”\\n2. Setting Up a Cute Ask\\n2-1. Read the situation so you don’t embarrass her.\\nDepending on the girl, she may not be thrilled to be asked out in front of her friends, family, or in a really public situation. Try to gauge her embarrassment level and what she's into, and create an ask that will appeal to her!\\n2-2. Write a note to let her know you’d appreciate her company if she's more private.\\nKeep it short and simple with something along the lines of, “Will you go out with me?” Then, you can figure out a creative way to get the note to her so its' a surprise!\\nFor example, offer her a piece of gum that’s wrapped in a note with your question written on it.\\nAlternatively, you might try slipping the note into one of her notebooks so she sees it when she gets to class.\\n2-3. Use a journal to ask her out romantically.\\nIf you're good friends, try recording the time you spend together in a notebook. As you get to know her more, you’ll write more entries expressing your feelings. Once you’re ready to ask her out, write it in the journal and present it to her.\\nWrite a note on a blank page that says, “There are 40 more pages in this journal. The first 19 pages were our memories from my perspective. I’d like the remaining to be memories from our perspective. Be mine?”\\nIf you don't know her very well, this may come across as a bit creepy, so make sure she'd like this ask!\\n2-4. Steal her phone to ask her out.\\nJust take her phone when she’s not looking and change your name in her contacts to “Be My Girlfriend,” and put a cute image of a baby animal as your picture. Give her the phone back and call her.\\nOnly do this if you know that she won’t be put off by you sneaking into her phone.\\n3. Getting to Know Her\\n3-1. Find common ground by talking to her.\\nIf you are in similar classes or you've seen her reading a book you read, bring that up so you have something to talk about together. Bonding over something you have in common is a great way to get to know more about her!\\n\\nIntroduce yourself to the girl you like if she doesn't know your name. Try walking up to her and saying, “Hey. my name is Sam. What’s your name?”\\nOne way to do this is to ask her how her classes are going and what her favorite class is.\\nLet her talk about her favorite subject and listen rather than interrupt her.\\nDon’t pretend to share the same interests with her just to make her interested in you, because she’ll figure it out and you may lose her trust.\\n3-2. Learn more by talking to her about her life.\\nAsk her if she has any pets, what her hobbies are, and if she’s involved in any after-school groups. Don’t ask her for her number or say anything about dating right off the bat, because that may make her uncomfortable.\\nOpen a conversation with, “How was the test in English?” or “How’s your day going?”\\nDon’t say, “You look good. Can I get your number?” This isn’t a conversation opener.\\n3-3. Compliment her.\\nStart by complimenting something that’s obvious like her style. Say you like her glasses or hair today. If you know more about her personally, compliment her intelligence or something else you like about her personality. Say something positive about her creativity, her compassion, or anything you like about her.\\nRemember, sexual harassment is not a compliment. Avoid saying anything about sex if you haven’t gotten her consent to talk about it with her.\\nIf you know that she likes to make art, tell her, “You’re very creative. I’d like to see more of your work.”\\nIf you’re in the same class, and she made an insightful comment, tell her, “You’re really perceptive.” It will make her feel good about herself!\\n3-4. Be honest about yourself and your accomplishments.\\nTalk about your interests, such as hobbies, music, books, shows, and so on. Don’t be insincere and make up stories that you’re on the football team when you’re not, but don't be afraid to talk about things you've accomplished! A girl will want to know you for who you are.\\nThe more you share your interests, the more you’ll find out you have in common!\\n3-5. Show her that you’re listening to her while she talks.\\nMaybe you don’t like the same books that she does, but remember that conversation you had where she told you what books she likes? That’s where listening is helpful, because you can show your interest by giving her a book by an author she likes as a gift. Anyone would be deeply touched by this.\\nFor example, if you’ve been listening to this girl, you might remember that she likes a certain movie franchise, so maybe you can get two tickets to see the next installment. It doesn’t matter whether you like it or not. The point is that you’re demonstrating you’ve been listening to her.\\n3-6. Ask her out directly once you've become friends.\\nOnce you know more about her, ask her if you can talk to her privately. Then, when you're alone with her, ask her out! \\nTry not to jump straight into the question. Instead, add her about her day, make small talk, then ask her out.\\nYou might ask her if she's doing anything this weekend, and then say something like “I’d like to get to know you better, and I was wondering if you’d like to get some coffee with me this weekend?”\\nAnother example would be, “That new movie that you’ve been wanting to see is playing. Would you like to go see it with me?”\\n3-7. Ask her to go with you to an event with your friends to make it seem less like a \\\"date.\\\"\\nIf you don’t want to show the girl how much you’re feeling yet, then inviting her to a party you’re hosting or an event with a group of friends will allow you to spend time with her without expressing vulnerable emotions early on.\\nThis is a great opportunity to learn more about each other.\\n3-8. Be sincere when asking her out.\\nYou're more likely to get a \\\"yes!\\\" if you don't try to play off your request. Even if she says no, say \\\"ok\\\" and respect her decision. It might be tempting to pretend you asker her out as a joke, but that might hurt your friendship in the long run.\\nTips\\nPlan a date activity you know she’s interested in. If she’s a fan of superhero movies, invite her to see the newest one. When you’re planning, write down what you want to say to her and what day you want to approach her to ask. [13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nSome girls will notice that you like them, and some won't. If you feel like she doesn't know, then smile or wave at her when you walk by. Try not to look at her all the time, she'll think you're creepy! Just be yourself and wait a while. She might ask you out after a while.\\nTake a breath mint before asking your crush on a date.\\nWarnings\\nDon't wait around forever, waiting for her to say yes. Just move on to someone else who likes you back.\\nDon’t stare or follow her. That’s scary, and it won’t make her like you.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you have a crush on a girl at school and you want to ask her out, there are a ton of ways you can do that. Whether you want to ask her out in person, shoot her a message, or try a cute ask like using her phone or a journal, all you need is a bit of courage and some prep. Even if you’re nervous, put on your best smile and don’t be afraid to go for it – after all, she can’t say “yes” if you don’t ask!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out Online\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get her number if you don't already have it.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can ask a girl out through text, you'll need to be able to contact her! Get her number from a friend, or ask her for her number if you know her. To play it casually, you can ask her for her number in case you have homework questions or another school-related topic.\\nTry saying something like, \\\"Hey, can I have your number so we can chat about math class?\\\"\\nAlternatively, you could simply say, \\\"Hey, what's your phone number?\\\" if she seems friendly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Friend her on social media if you'd prefer.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't have her number, and aren't sure how to get it, don't worry! She may be reachable on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or another social media site! Ask her friends which one she uses, and friend her through the site.\\nFriending people from school is pretty common, so if you're nervous about asking her for her number, this is a great way around that problem!\\nSome people use different last names on social media, so make sure you found the right profile before sending the friend request.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Message her casually asking for a date.\", \"描述\": \"Sending a message, whether via text or online messaging system, is a laid-back way of asking her out without a whole lot of pressure. There’s no shame in asking someone on a date through messaging these days, and it gives her a chance to reply when she's available! Leave a private message on social media saying, “Hey, what’s up? I’d like to get to know you better. Would you like to hang out this weekend?”\\nFor example, “Are you free on Tuesday or Wednesday evening?” She may ask “Why?” or respond, “Yes.” Follow up with, “Why don’t we hang out for a bit? I have some free time.”\\nIf she says yes to hanging out, suggest a time and place.\\nBe prepared for her to suggest a time that works for her, and try to be available when she is. If you aren't, suggest an alternative to keep the date alive!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Suggest a specific activity if you'd prefer a more planned approach.\", \"描述\": \"If asking her out for an open-ended date seems to scary, try asking her to go to specific event with you. For example, you might say something like \\\"Hey, do you want to go to a concert on Wednesday?\\\" or \\\"I heard the new horror movie is really scary, would you want to go watch it with me on Saturday?\\\"\\nFor example, ask her, “How about we meet later this week for this play in the park?” Or, “How about we meet later this week for some coffee?”\\nTry different ideas, but stuck with things you’re comfortable with. Don’t suggest rock climbing if it’s something you’ve never done before!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use a more exciting approach to suggest something out of the ordinary.\", \"描述\": \"This is a good approach if you’ve shown that you have a spontaneous side. Express that you have an interesting idea for something you two can do later in the week, and don't be afraid to be a little mysterious!\\nFor example, say, “Any chance you'd want to come on an adventure with me on Thursday?\\\"\\nA more humorous approach would be, “Let’s get to know each other better over some caffeine and figure out how much we complement each other in person.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Invite her to something you already have plans for.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great way to ask a girl out if you’re already going to an event such as a show, a game, or a local event. You’ll be asking her to go somewhere with you that you would’ve done with or without her, so it’s no big deal if she says no.\\nFor instance, “On Saturday, I’m going to the ball game. Why don’t you join me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Setting Up a Cute Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the situation so you don’t embarrass her.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the girl, she may not be thrilled to be asked out in front of her friends, family, or in a really public situation. Try to gauge her embarrassment level and what she's into, and create an ask that will appeal to her!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a note to let her know you’d appreciate her company if she's more private.\", \"描述\": \"Keep it short and simple with something along the lines of, “Will you go out with me?” Then, you can figure out a creative way to get the note to her so its' a surprise!\\nFor example, offer her a piece of gum that’s wrapped in a note with your question written on it.\\nAlternatively, you might try slipping the note into one of her notebooks so she sees it when she gets to class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use a journal to ask her out romantically.\", \"描述\": \"If you're good friends, try recording the time you spend together in a notebook. As you get to know her more, you’ll write more entries expressing your feelings. Once you’re ready to ask her out, write it in the journal and present it to her.\\nWrite a note on a blank page that says, “There are 40 more pages in this journal. The first 19 pages were our memories from my perspective. I’d like the remaining to be memories from our perspective. Be mine?”\\nIf you don't know her very well, this may come across as a bit creepy, so make sure she'd like this ask!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Steal her phone to ask her out.\", \"描述\": \"Just take her phone when she’s not looking and change your name in her contacts to “Be My Girlfriend,” and put a cute image of a baby animal as your picture. Give her the phone back and call her.\\nOnly do this if you know that she won’t be put off by you sneaking into her phone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find common ground by talking to her.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in similar classes or you've seen her reading a book you read, bring that up so you have something to talk about together. Bonding over something you have in common is a great way to get to know more about her!\\n\\nIntroduce yourself to the girl you like if she doesn't know your name. Try walking up to her and saying, “Hey. my name is Sam. What’s your name?”\\nOne way to do this is to ask her how her classes are going and what her favorite class is.\\nLet her talk about her favorite subject and listen rather than interrupt her.\\nDon’t pretend to share the same interests with her just to make her interested in you, because she’ll figure it out and you may lose her trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn more by talking to her about her life.\", \"描述\": \"Ask her if she has any pets, what her hobbies are, and if she’s involved in any after-school groups. Don’t ask her for her number or say anything about dating right off the bat, because that may make her uncomfortable.\\nOpen a conversation with, “How was the test in English?” or “How’s your day going?”\\nDon’t say, “You look good. Can I get your number?” This isn’t a conversation opener.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment her.\", \"描述\": \"Start by complimenting something that’s obvious like her style. Say you like her glasses or hair today. If you know more about her personally, compliment her intelligence or something else you like about her personality. Say something positive about her creativity, her compassion, or anything you like about her.\\nRemember, sexual harassment is not a compliment. Avoid saying anything about sex if you haven’t gotten her consent to talk about it with her.\\nIf you know that she likes to make art, tell her, “You’re very creative. I’d like to see more of your work.”\\nIf you’re in the same class, and she made an insightful comment, tell her, “You’re really perceptive.” It will make her feel good about herself!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest about yourself and your accomplishments.\", \"描述\": \"Talk about your interests, such as hobbies, music, books, shows, and so on. Don’t be insincere and make up stories that you’re on the football team when you’re not, but don't be afraid to talk about things you've accomplished! A girl will want to know you for who you are.\\nThe more you share your interests, the more you’ll find out you have in common!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show her that you’re listening to her while she talks.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you don’t like the same books that she does, but remember that conversation you had where she told you what books she likes? That’s where listening is helpful, because you can show your interest by giving her a book by an author she likes as a gift. Anyone would be deeply touched by this.\\nFor example, if you’ve been listening to this girl, you might remember that she likes a certain movie franchise, so maybe you can get two tickets to see the next installment. It doesn’t matter whether you like it or not. The point is that you’re demonstrating you’ve been listening to her.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask her out directly once you've become friends.\", \"描述\": \"Once you know more about her, ask her if you can talk to her privately. Then, when you're alone with her, ask her out! \\nTry not to jump straight into the question. Instead, add her about her day, make small talk, then ask her out.\\nYou might ask her if she's doing anything this weekend, and then say something like “I’d like to get to know you better, and I was wondering if you’d like to get some coffee with me this weekend?”\\nAnother example would be, “That new movie that you’ve been wanting to see is playing. Would you like to go see it with me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask her to go with you to an event with your friends to make it seem less like a \\\"date.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t want to show the girl how much you’re feeling yet, then inviting her to a party you’re hosting or an event with a group of friends will allow you to spend time with her without expressing vulnerable emotions early on.\\nThis is a great opportunity to learn more about each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be sincere when asking her out.\", \"描述\": \"You're more likely to get a \\\"yes!\\\" if you don't try to play off your request. Even if she says no, say \\\"ok\\\" and respect her decision. It might be tempting to pretend you asker her out as a joke, but that might hurt your friendship in the long run.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Plan a date activity you know she’s interested in. If she’s a fan of superhero movies, invite her to see the newest one. When you’re planning, write down what you want to say to her and what day you want to approach her to ask. [13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Some girls will notice that you like them, and some won't. If you feel like she doesn't know, then smile or wave at her when you walk by. Try not to look at her all the time, she'll think you're creepy! Just be yourself and wait a while. She might ask you out after a while.\\n\", \"Take a breath mint before asking your crush on a date.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't wait around forever, waiting for her to say yes. Just move on to someone else who likes you back.\\n\", \"Don’t stare or follow her. That’s scary, and it won’t make her like you.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,457 | How to Ask Out a Girl on Snapchat | 1. Joke about dating to see if she’s interested.
Add her to a private story or joke with her directly.
If you add her as the only viewer to a private story you can use sliders to ask for her responses. Don’t take the responses too literally. She might be teasing you!
“Who’s cuter? Be honest.” Post this question with a poll. Put a photo of you next to a cute animal or something totally random and funny, like food.
“How cute do you think I am?” Pair this question with a slider so you can gauge her interest.
“Scale of 1-10, how likely are you to date me?” Try this question for a flirty way to get the conversation about dating going.
2. Use a cheesy photo pun to ask her out.
Pair a very literal photo with a silly caption.
You can create your pun masterpiece with a regular snap, or use a video to let your comedic timing and dramatic delivery shine. If you go for a longer pun, use a video so you don’t have to worry about character limits on captions.
Send a photo of grapes and say, “I think you and me would have a grape time if we went out.”
Turn on your stove and say, “Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Come hangout so we can check.”
Send a historically-themed photo or photo of a newspaper and say, “Learning about important dates in history. Do you want to go on one?”
3. Send a nerdy pick-up line.
Choose a line that mentions a date or asks a question.
Normal pick-up lines are good conversation starters, but try these when you want to move from flirting to asking to go out. Since Snapchat limits characters for captions, you can spread out your joke over a few snaps or write it down on a piece of paper and snap a photo.
“I’ve heard staring at screens is bad for your eyes. How about we have this conversation over dinner tomorrow?”
“Knock-knock.” (Who's there?) “When where.” (When where who?) “Tomorrow night, my house, you?”
“My friends bet me I couldn’t Snapchat the most beautiful girl in the world. Where do you want to go spend their money?”
4. Spell out your question.
Take advantage of Snapchat’s visual element.
Instead of typing, “Do you want to go out with me?” you can spell out a simpler question with random items for a clever, original approach.
Arrange pens, markers, or colored pencils to spell out the words “You + me?”
Spell out all or part of “Grab food with me?” in actual food. You can trace the letters in flour, write them with alphabet soup or alphabet crackers, and arrange candy or pasta.
Go for a classically romantic vibe by spelling out “Date me?” in rocks or beach sand.
5. Draw her into a photo next to you.
Use the pencil tool on Snapchat to get creative.
Take a photo of yourself with enough space to draw your best portrait of her beside you. If you can only draw stick figures, no worries, it’ll still be funny and great! Label the drawing with her name or just “you.”
“What’s missing from this pic?”
“Wish you were here! Want to hangout?”
“Doesn’t this pic look better with you in it?”
6. Respond to her story to ask her out.
Try this approach to keep things casual yet direct.
It’s a little less intimidating than trying to send her private snaps right away and you can use her photos to get ideas. Reply to her story by combining your date question with a comment on what you see in the photos.
If she posts a photo of food, you could say, “Please teach me how to cook!” Then send, “How about tomorrow night?”
If she’s out somewhere, try saying, “That restaurant/place looks great. Want to go again with me?”
If you see her doing fun activities, ask if you can do them together. Try something like, “Blown away by those tricks. Hit the skatepark with me?”
7. Turn an event invite into a date.
When you see an event flyer or ad, snap a photo.
Send the photo to your crush and ask her if she’d like to join. Bonus points if you know the event is something she’s into!
For a party or social event, you can ask, “Do you want to be my +1?”
Grab a photo advertising a concert, game, or competition and ask, “You down to go to this?”
8. Snap a photo of what you’re doing and invite her to join!
Go for this approach if you think she might be free.
If she’s not free but seems interested, you can always plan to do the activity with her another time.
Go to a beautiful outdoor place, send her a photo and say, “Want to join?”
Send a photo of you trying something she’s good at and say, “I need an expert. Come help me?”
Send a photo of books or your computer and say, “Let’s skip work/class and go hang out.”
9. Keep it simple with a private snap.
Pick a casual, candid photo and stick to a direct question.
To keep it fun and cute, try a photo of a pet or a good-looking selfie. If you’re looking for a dinner date and more romance, you can pair it with a photo of a sunset or beautiful scenery.
“Hang out with me?”
“Dinner with me?” or replace “dinner” with whatever activity you want.
If you’re nervous about hanging out with her, send a photo of you with friends and ask her to go on a group date.
10. Message her a straightforward question.
If you feel confident or if cheesy lines aren’t your style, try this.
Plus, you can send more characters through messages than snap captions. Be specific about your request and make sure it’s clear you’re asking for a date!
“Do you want to meet up on Saturday for a coffee date?”
“I’ve got a very important question for you.” Wait until she responds and then ask, “Do you want to go out with me?”
“I was wondering if you’re down to hang out sometime?”
Tips
Since Snapchat limits caption length, if you want to get more characters on an iPhone, just type a message in your notes and paste it into the caption. It’s a little trickier on Android, so check out this article on how to get a longer caption.
Warnings
While Snapchats are “temporary,” nothing is super private online. Don’t send private or inappropriate photos because that can be considered harassment![14]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Joke about dating to see if she’s interested.\\nAdd her to a private story or joke with her directly.\\nIf you add her as the only viewer to a private story you can use sliders to ask for her responses. Don’t take the responses too literally. She might be teasing you!\\n“Who’s cuter? Be honest.” Post this question with a poll. Put a photo of you next to a cute animal or something totally random and funny, like food.\\n“How cute do you think I am?” Pair this question with a slider so you can gauge her interest.\\n“Scale of 1-10, how likely are you to date me?” Try this question for a flirty way to get the conversation about dating going.\\n2. Use a cheesy photo pun to ask her out.\\nPair a very literal photo with a silly caption.\\nYou can create your pun masterpiece with a regular snap, or use a video to let your comedic timing and dramatic delivery shine. If you go for a longer pun, use a video so you don’t have to worry about character limits on captions.\\nSend a photo of grapes and say, “I think you and me would have a grape time if we went out.”\\nTurn on your stove and say, “Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Come hangout so we can check.”\\nSend a historically-themed photo or photo of a newspaper and say, “Learning about important dates in history. Do you want to go on one?”\\n3. Send a nerdy pick-up line.\\nChoose a line that mentions a date or asks a question.\\nNormal pick-up lines are good conversation starters, but try these when you want to move from flirting to asking to go out. Since Snapchat limits characters for captions, you can spread out your joke over a few snaps or write it down on a piece of paper and snap a photo.\\n“I’ve heard staring at screens is bad for your eyes. How about we have this conversation over dinner tomorrow?”\\n“Knock-knock.” (Who's there?) “When where.” (When where who?) “Tomorrow night, my house, you?”\\n“My friends bet me I couldn’t Snapchat the most beautiful girl in the world. Where do you want to go spend their money?”\\n4. Spell out your question.\\nTake advantage of Snapchat’s visual element.\\nInstead of typing, “Do you want to go out with me?” you can spell out a simpler question with random items for a clever, original approach.\\nArrange pens, markers, or colored pencils to spell out the words “You + me?”\\nSpell out all or part of “Grab food with me?” in actual food. You can trace the letters in flour, write them with alphabet soup or alphabet crackers, and arrange candy or pasta.\\nGo for a classically romantic vibe by spelling out “Date me?” in rocks or beach sand.\\n5. Draw her into a photo next to you.\\nUse the pencil tool on Snapchat to get creative.\\nTake a photo of yourself with enough space to draw your best portrait of her beside you. If you can only draw stick figures, no worries, it’ll still be funny and great! Label the drawing with her name or just “you.”\\n“What’s missing from this pic?”\\n“Wish you were here! Want to hangout?”\\n“Doesn’t this pic look better with you in it?”\\n6. Respond to her story to ask her out.\\nTry this approach to keep things casual yet direct.\\nIt’s a little less intimidating than trying to send her private snaps right away and you can use her photos to get ideas. Reply to her story by combining your date question with a comment on what you see in the photos.\\nIf she posts a photo of food, you could say, “Please teach me how to cook!” Then send, “How about tomorrow night?”\\nIf she’s out somewhere, try saying, “That restaurant/place looks great. Want to go again with me?”\\nIf you see her doing fun activities, ask if you can do them together. Try something like, “Blown away by those tricks. Hit the skatepark with me?”\\n7. Turn an event invite into a date.\\nWhen you see an event flyer or ad, snap a photo.\\nSend the photo to your crush and ask her if she’d like to join. Bonus points if you know the event is something she’s into!\\nFor a party or social event, you can ask, “Do you want to be my +1?”\\nGrab a photo advertising a concert, game, or competition and ask, “You down to go to this?”\\n8. Snap a photo of what you’re doing and invite her to join!\\nGo for this approach if you think she might be free.\\nIf she’s not free but seems interested, you can always plan to do the activity with her another time.\\nGo to a beautiful outdoor place, send her a photo and say, “Want to join?”\\nSend a photo of you trying something she’s good at and say, “I need an expert. Come help me?”\\nSend a photo of books or your computer and say, “Let’s skip work/class and go hang out.”\\n9. Keep it simple with a private snap.\\nPick a casual, candid photo and stick to a direct question.\\nTo keep it fun and cute, try a photo of a pet or a good-looking selfie. If you’re looking for a dinner date and more romance, you can pair it with a photo of a sunset or beautiful scenery.\\n“Hang out with me?”\\n“Dinner with me?” or replace “dinner” with whatever activity you want.\\nIf you’re nervous about hanging out with her, send a photo of you with friends and ask her to go on a group date.\\n10. Message her a straightforward question.\\nIf you feel confident or if cheesy lines aren’t your style, try this.\\nPlus, you can send more characters through messages than snap captions. Be specific about your request and make sure it’s clear you’re asking for a date!\\n“Do you want to meet up on Saturday for a coffee date?”\\n“I’ve got a very important question for you.” Wait until she responds and then ask, “Do you want to go out with me?”\\n“I was wondering if you’re down to hang out sometime?”\\nTips\\nSince Snapchat limits caption length, if you want to get more characters on an iPhone, just type a message in your notes and paste it into the caption. It’s a little trickier on Android, so check out this article on how to get a longer caption.\\nWarnings\\nWhile Snapchats are “temporary,” nothing is super private online. Don’t send private or inappropriate photos because that can be considered harassment![14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You’ve been crushing on a girl, and you’ve decided it’s finally time to ask her out! If you can’t talk to her in-person, you can use Snapchat to ask her on a date while showing off your personality, sense of humor, and of course, that dynamite smile. From funny approaches to direct ways to tell her you’re interested in going out, we’ll walk you through some flirty ideas for asking a girl on a date through Snapchat!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Joke about dating to see if she’s interested.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Add her to a private story or joke with her directly.\", \"描述\": \"If you add her as the only viewer to a private story you can use sliders to ask for her responses. Don’t take the responses too literally. She might be teasing you!\\n“Who’s cuter? Be honest.” Post this question with a poll. Put a photo of you next to a cute animal or something totally random and funny, like food.\\n“How cute do you think I am?” Pair this question with a slider so you can gauge her interest.\\n“Scale of 1-10, how likely are you to date me?” Try this question for a flirty way to get the conversation about dating going.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a cheesy photo pun to ask her out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pair a very literal photo with a silly caption.\", \"描述\": \"You can create your pun masterpiece with a regular snap, or use a video to let your comedic timing and dramatic delivery shine. If you go for a longer pun, use a video so you don’t have to worry about character limits on captions.\\nSend a photo of grapes and say, “I think you and me would have a grape time if we went out.”\\nTurn on your stove and say, “Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Come hangout so we can check.”\\nSend a historically-themed photo or photo of a newspaper and say, “Learning about important dates in history. Do you want to go on one?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send a nerdy pick-up line.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a line that mentions a date or asks a question.\", \"描述\": \"Normal pick-up lines are good conversation starters, but try these when you want to move from flirting to asking to go out. Since Snapchat limits characters for captions, you can spread out your joke over a few snaps or write it down on a piece of paper and snap a photo.\\n“I’ve heard staring at screens is bad for your eyes. How about we have this conversation over dinner tomorrow?”\\n“Knock-knock.” (Who's there?) “When where.” (When where who?) “Tomorrow night, my house, you?”\\n“My friends bet me I couldn’t Snapchat the most beautiful girl in the world. Where do you want to go spend their money?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spell out your question.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take advantage of Snapchat’s visual element.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of typing, “Do you want to go out with me?” you can spell out a simpler question with random items for a clever, original approach.\\nArrange pens, markers, or colored pencils to spell out the words “You + me?”\\nSpell out all or part of “Grab food with me?” in actual food. You can trace the letters in flour, write them with alphabet soup or alphabet crackers, and arrange candy or pasta.\\nGo for a classically romantic vibe by spelling out “Date me?” in rocks or beach sand.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Draw her into a photo next to you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use the pencil tool on Snapchat to get creative.\", \"描述\": \"Take a photo of yourself with enough space to draw your best portrait of her beside you. If you can only draw stick figures, no worries, it’ll still be funny and great! Label the drawing with her name or just “you.”\\n“What’s missing from this pic?”\\n“Wish you were here! Want to hangout?”\\n“Doesn’t this pic look better with you in it?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respond to her story to ask her out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try this approach to keep things casual yet direct.\", \"描述\": \"It’s a little less intimidating than trying to send her private snaps right away and you can use her photos to get ideas. Reply to her story by combining your date question with a comment on what you see in the photos.\\nIf she posts a photo of food, you could say, “Please teach me how to cook!” Then send, “How about tomorrow night?”\\nIf she’s out somewhere, try saying, “That restaurant/place looks great. Want to go again with me?”\\nIf you see her doing fun activities, ask if you can do them together. Try something like, “Blown away by those tricks. Hit the skatepark with me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Turn an event invite into a date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you see an event flyer or ad, snap a photo.\", \"描述\": \"Send the photo to your crush and ask her if she’d like to join. Bonus points if you know the event is something she’s into!\\nFor a party or social event, you can ask, “Do you want to be my +1?”\\nGrab a photo advertising a concert, game, or competition and ask, “You down to go to this?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Snap a photo of what you’re doing and invite her to join!\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go for this approach if you think she might be free.\", \"描述\": \"If she’s not free but seems interested, you can always plan to do the activity with her another time.\\nGo to a beautiful outdoor place, send her a photo and say, “Want to join?”\\nSend a photo of you trying something she’s good at and say, “I need an expert. Come help me?”\\nSend a photo of books or your computer and say, “Let’s skip work/class and go hang out.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple with a private snap.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a casual, candid photo and stick to a direct question.\", \"描述\": \"To keep it fun and cute, try a photo of a pet or a good-looking selfie. If you’re looking for a dinner date and more romance, you can pair it with a photo of a sunset or beautiful scenery.\\n“Hang out with me?”\\n“Dinner with me?” or replace “dinner” with whatever activity you want.\\nIf you’re nervous about hanging out with her, send a photo of you with friends and ask her to go on a group date.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Message her a straightforward question.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you feel confident or if cheesy lines aren’t your style, try this.\", \"描述\": \"Plus, you can send more characters through messages than snap captions. Be specific about your request and make sure it’s clear you’re asking for a date!\\n“Do you want to meet up on Saturday for a coffee date?”\\n“I’ve got a very important question for you.” Wait until she responds and then ask, “Do you want to go out with me?”\\n“I was wondering if you’re down to hang out sometime?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Since Snapchat limits caption length, if you want to get more characters on an iPhone, just type a message in your notes and paste it into the caption. It’s a little trickier on Android, so check out this article on how to get a longer caption.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"While Snapchats are “temporary,” nothing is super private online. Don’t send private or inappropriate photos because that can be considered harassment![14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,458 | How to Ask Parents or In‐Laws to Call Before Visiting | 1. Getting on the Same Page with Your Spouse
1-1. Respect your spouse’s relationship with their parents.
It is important to acknowledge and respect the relationship that your spouse has with their parents. Regardless of whether or not you enjoy the company of your In-laws, you need to understand and respect their significance for your spouse. You should communicate your respect to your spouse:
“I really admire the relationship that you have with your father. You seem to share so many things. You’re lucky to have a parent like that in your life.”
1-2. Avoid making your spouse choose between you and their parents.
Although the situation of your in-laws dropping by unannounced is extremely frustrating, you are unlikely to resolve it by giving your spouse a choice between you and their parents. Instead, you should work with your spouse to find a way to increase your privacy and the quality time that you have together. For example, avoid giving ultimatums like the following:
“It’s up to you. Go live with your parents or stop giving in to their every demand and become committed to our relationship.”
Instead, try saying: “We really need to find a way to resolve this situation. What are some things we could do to stop your parents from coming by unannounced?”
1-3. Talk to your spouse about setting boundaries.
Discuss the need to establish better boundaries with your parents or in-laws. You may want to discuss the kinds of values that you grew up with and the kinds of values that you want to have as a couple or a family. In addition, you may want to chat about your respective expectations for time together, away from friends and family. If there are barriers to spending time together such as parents or in-laws who drop by unannounced, talk about how to overcome these barriers.
1-4. Agree to explain and enforce your visiting rules together.
You need to come to an actual agreement with your spouse, so that you are on the same page in consistently explaining and enforcing visiting rules. Decide how you will explain the rules and situations where you need to enforce the rules.
For example, decide how you will explain the reason to your parents or in laws. You could decide to both explain the reason for wanting notice of upcoming visits in terms of privacy or working on your marriage or other justifications. Whatever reason you choose, you should make sure you are consistent in your explanations.
2. Asking Parents to Call Before Visiting
2-1. Communicate your love and respect.
Before telling your parents about your need for privacy, you should make sure they know how much you love and respect them. This will help them understand that your reason for asking them to call is not that you don’t want to see them but, rather, that you need privacy for your relationship or marriage to flourish. You could tell them:
“As I start my new family, I have really started to appreciate the amount of love and hard work that you put into raising us. It couldn’t have been easy. I just want you to know how much I respect the job you did as parents.”
“Although I’ve been busy with work and my new relationship, I just wanted to let you know how much love and respect I have for both of you. Thanks for being amazing parents.”
2-2. Explain your need for privacy.
Tell your parents that you are at a stage in your relationship where you need privacy for things to move forward. Tell them that there are a lot of things that can get in the way such as work obligations, social events and even family obligations. For instance, you could say:
“We’re having a hard time finding privacy in our lives. There are a lot of demands on both of us right now. And there are always so many social and family events on the calendar. I just wanted to let you know that we’re trying to cut down on social and family events so that we can have more time together. If we say no to an invitation, that’s the reason.”
2-3. Tell them to call before coming over.
You should plainly tell them that you would appreciate a ring before they come over. If they ask for an explanation, you could tell them that it helps you and your spouse maintain some privacy. For instance, you could say:
“It would be great if you could just give a ring before coming over. That way, we know when to expect you and can prepare for your visit.”
“My partner, Joyce, and I are trying to find more time together these days. We tell people to call before stopping by. If you wouldn’t mind doing the same, it would be much appreciated.”
2-4. Tell them when a boundary has been disrespected.
If your parents disrespect your privacy by dropping by unannounced, you should let them know. Try saying:
“It is flattering that you want to see us and the baby all the time. However, I should let you know, we were actually trying to have a night for just the two of us when you dropped by unannounced the other day. If you can avoid that in the future, we would be so grateful.”
3. Getting In-Laws to Call Before Visiting
3-1. Ask your partner to speak to your In-laws about the situation.
Tell your partner that you would really appreciate it if they could tell your in-laws not to drop by unannounced. Also, you should remind them to communicate how much you appreciate their role in your lives. You could try asking:
“Do you mind asking your folks if they could give a ring before stopping by?”
“Can you talk to your parents about their constant visits?”
3-2. Communicate your needs to your In-laws.
If your spouse is comfortable with the idea, you could also directly communicate your needs to your in-laws. Say that the two of you have made a decision to ask all family members to call before visiting. By framing it as a general rule, they may be less likely to get offended. Try saying:
“We have made a decision, as a couple, to ask all friends and family members to call before visiting.”
3-3. Be blunt if absolutely necessary.
If your in-laws continue to drop by unannounced after you tell them about your need for privacy, you may need to use more straightforward language. When they drop by, tell them that you are actually busy and don’t have time for them at the moment. Eventually, they should get the message that they need to call before visiting. You might say:
"Sorry you came all this way. I'm not sure if you remember, but we're actually busy right now. You really should have called before coming all this way."
"Sorry, we're actually in the middle of something right now. If you give us a ring later in the week, we can make plans for a better day that works for both of us."
"Thanks for coming but we're actually busy right now. I hear there's a great new restaurant on Main Street, why don't you check that out. Call us later in the week and we'll set up a time for dinner soon?"
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting on the Same Page with Your Spouse\\n1-1. Respect your spouse’s relationship with their parents.\\nIt is important to acknowledge and respect the relationship that your spouse has with their parents. Regardless of whether or not you enjoy the company of your In-laws, you need to understand and respect their significance for your spouse. You should communicate your respect to your spouse:\\n“I really admire the relationship that you have with your father. You seem to share so many things. You’re lucky to have a parent like that in your life.”\\n1-2. Avoid making your spouse choose between you and their parents.\\nAlthough the situation of your in-laws dropping by unannounced is extremely frustrating, you are unlikely to resolve it by giving your spouse a choice between you and their parents. Instead, you should work with your spouse to find a way to increase your privacy and the quality time that you have together. For example, avoid giving ultimatums like the following:\\n“It’s up to you. Go live with your parents or stop giving in to their every demand and become committed to our relationship.”\\nInstead, try saying: “We really need to find a way to resolve this situation. What are some things we could do to stop your parents from coming by unannounced?”\\n1-3. Talk to your spouse about setting boundaries.\\nDiscuss the need to establish better boundaries with your parents or in-laws. You may want to discuss the kinds of values that you grew up with and the kinds of values that you want to have as a couple or a family. In addition, you may want to chat about your respective expectations for time together, away from friends and family. If there are barriers to spending time together such as parents or in-laws who drop by unannounced, talk about how to overcome these barriers.\\n1-4. Agree to explain and enforce your visiting rules together.\\nYou need to come to an actual agreement with your spouse, so that you are on the same page in consistently explaining and enforcing visiting rules. Decide how you will explain the rules and situations where you need to enforce the rules.\\nFor example, decide how you will explain the reason to your parents or in laws. You could decide to both explain the reason for wanting notice of upcoming visits in terms of privacy or working on your marriage or other justifications. Whatever reason you choose, you should make sure you are consistent in your explanations.\\n2. Asking Parents to Call Before Visiting\\n2-1. Communicate your love and respect.\\nBefore telling your parents about your need for privacy, you should make sure they know how much you love and respect them. This will help them understand that your reason for asking them to call is not that you don’t want to see them but, rather, that you need privacy for your relationship or marriage to flourish. You could tell them:\\n“As I start my new family, I have really started to appreciate the amount of love and hard work that you put into raising us. It couldn’t have been easy. I just want you to know how much I respect the job you did as parents.”\\n“Although I’ve been busy with work and my new relationship, I just wanted to let you know how much love and respect I have for both of you. Thanks for being amazing parents.”\\n2-2. Explain your need for privacy.\\nTell your parents that you are at a stage in your relationship where you need privacy for things to move forward. Tell them that there are a lot of things that can get in the way such as work obligations, social events and even family obligations. For instance, you could say:\\n“We’re having a hard time finding privacy in our lives. There are a lot of demands on both of us right now. And there are always so many social and family events on the calendar. I just wanted to let you know that we’re trying to cut down on social and family events so that we can have more time together. If we say no to an invitation, that’s the reason.”\\n2-3. Tell them to call before coming over.\\nYou should plainly tell them that you would appreciate a ring before they come over. If they ask for an explanation, you could tell them that it helps you and your spouse maintain some privacy. For instance, you could say:\\n“It would be great if you could just give a ring before coming over. That way, we know when to expect you and can prepare for your visit.”\\n“My partner, Joyce, and I are trying to find more time together these days. We tell people to call before stopping by. If you wouldn’t mind doing the same, it would be much appreciated.”\\n2-4. Tell them when a boundary has been disrespected.\\nIf your parents disrespect your privacy by dropping by unannounced, you should let them know. Try saying:\\n“It is flattering that you want to see us and the baby all the time. However, I should let you know, we were actually trying to have a night for just the two of us when you dropped by unannounced the other day. If you can avoid that in the future, we would be so grateful.”\\n3. Getting In-Laws to Call Before Visiting\\n3-1. Ask your partner to speak to your In-laws about the situation.\\nTell your partner that you would really appreciate it if they could tell your in-laws not to drop by unannounced. Also, you should remind them to communicate how much you appreciate their role in your lives. You could try asking:\\n“Do you mind asking your folks if they could give a ring before stopping by?”\\n“Can you talk to your parents about their constant visits?”\\n3-2. Communicate your needs to your In-laws.\\nIf your spouse is comfortable with the idea, you could also directly communicate your needs to your in-laws. Say that the two of you have made a decision to ask all family members to call before visiting. By framing it as a general rule, they may be less likely to get offended. Try saying:\\n“We have made a decision, as a couple, to ask all friends and family members to call before visiting.”\\n3-3. Be blunt if absolutely necessary.\\nIf your in-laws continue to drop by unannounced after you tell them about your need for privacy, you may need to use more straightforward language. When they drop by, tell them that you are actually busy and don’t have time for them at the moment. Eventually, they should get the message that they need to call before visiting. You might say:\\n\\\"Sorry you came all this way. I'm not sure if you remember, but we're actually busy right now. You really should have called before coming all this way.\\\"\\n\\\"Sorry, we're actually in the middle of something right now. If you give us a ring later in the week, we can make plans for a better day that works for both of us.\\\"\\n\\\"Thanks for coming but we're actually busy right now. I hear there's a great new restaurant on Main Street, why don't you check that out. Call us later in the week and we'll set up a time for dinner soon?\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be challenging to maintain a healthy relationship if your parents or in-laws never give you any privacy. If you are in a new relationship or recently started a family, your parents or in-laws may get overly excited and visit too often or unannounced. To resolve this situation, you will need to work closely with your spouse. Once you are on the same page, you can frankly communicate your need for privacy to your in-laws or parents.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting on the Same Page with Your Spouse\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respect your spouse’s relationship with their parents.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to acknowledge and respect the relationship that your spouse has with their parents. Regardless of whether or not you enjoy the company of your In-laws, you need to understand and respect their significance for your spouse. You should communicate your respect to your spouse:\\n“I really admire the relationship that you have with your father. You seem to share so many things. You’re lucky to have a parent like that in your life.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid making your spouse choose between you and their parents.\", \"描述\": \"Although the situation of your in-laws dropping by unannounced is extremely frustrating, you are unlikely to resolve it by giving your spouse a choice between you and their parents. Instead, you should work with your spouse to find a way to increase your privacy and the quality time that you have together. For example, avoid giving ultimatums like the following:\\n“It’s up to you. Go live with your parents or stop giving in to their every demand and become committed to our relationship.”\\nInstead, try saying: “We really need to find a way to resolve this situation. What are some things we could do to stop your parents from coming by unannounced?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to your spouse about setting boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"Discuss the need to establish better boundaries with your parents or in-laws. You may want to discuss the kinds of values that you grew up with and the kinds of values that you want to have as a couple or a family. In addition, you may want to chat about your respective expectations for time together, away from friends and family. If there are barriers to spending time together such as parents or in-laws who drop by unannounced, talk about how to overcome these barriers.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Agree to explain and enforce your visiting rules together.\", \"描述\": \"You need to come to an actual agreement with your spouse, so that you are on the same page in consistently explaining and enforcing visiting rules. Decide how you will explain the rules and situations where you need to enforce the rules.\\nFor example, decide how you will explain the reason to your parents or in laws. You could decide to both explain the reason for wanting notice of upcoming visits in terms of privacy or working on your marriage or other justifications. Whatever reason you choose, you should make sure you are consistent in your explanations.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Parents to Call Before Visiting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicate your love and respect.\", \"描述\": \"Before telling your parents about your need for privacy, you should make sure they know how much you love and respect them. This will help them understand that your reason for asking them to call is not that you don’t want to see them but, rather, that you need privacy for your relationship or marriage to flourish. You could tell them:\\n“As I start my new family, I have really started to appreciate the amount of love and hard work that you put into raising us. It couldn’t have been easy. I just want you to know how much I respect the job you did as parents.”\\n“Although I’ve been busy with work and my new relationship, I just wanted to let you know how much love and respect I have for both of you. Thanks for being amazing parents.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain your need for privacy.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your parents that you are at a stage in your relationship where you need privacy for things to move forward. Tell them that there are a lot of things that can get in the way such as work obligations, social events and even family obligations. For instance, you could say:\\n“We’re having a hard time finding privacy in our lives. There are a lot of demands on both of us right now. And there are always so many social and family events on the calendar. I just wanted to let you know that we’re trying to cut down on social and family events so that we can have more time together. If we say no to an invitation, that’s the reason.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell them to call before coming over.\", \"描述\": \"You should plainly tell them that you would appreciate a ring before they come over. If they ask for an explanation, you could tell them that it helps you and your spouse maintain some privacy. For instance, you could say:\\n“It would be great if you could just give a ring before coming over. That way, we know when to expect you and can prepare for your visit.”\\n“My partner, Joyce, and I are trying to find more time together these days. We tell people to call before stopping by. If you wouldn’t mind doing the same, it would be much appreciated.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell them when a boundary has been disrespected.\", \"描述\": \"If your parents disrespect your privacy by dropping by unannounced, you should let them know. Try saying:\\n“It is flattering that you want to see us and the baby all the time. However, I should let you know, we were actually trying to have a night for just the two of us when you dropped by unannounced the other day. If you can avoid that in the future, we would be so grateful.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting In-Laws to Call Before Visiting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your partner to speak to your In-laws about the situation.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your partner that you would really appreciate it if they could tell your in-laws not to drop by unannounced. Also, you should remind them to communicate how much you appreciate their role in your lives. You could try asking:\\n“Do you mind asking your folks if they could give a ring before stopping by?”\\n“Can you talk to your parents about their constant visits?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicate your needs to your In-laws.\", \"描述\": \"If your spouse is comfortable with the idea, you could also directly communicate your needs to your in-laws. Say that the two of you have made a decision to ask all family members to call before visiting. By framing it as a general rule, they may be less likely to get offended. Try saying:\\n“We have made a decision, as a couple, to ask all friends and family members to call before visiting.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be blunt if absolutely necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If your in-laws continue to drop by unannounced after you tell them about your need for privacy, you may need to use more straightforward language. When they drop by, tell them that you are actually busy and don’t have time for them at the moment. Eventually, they should get the message that they need to call before visiting. You might say:\\n\\\"Sorry you came all this way. I'm not sure if you remember, but we're actually busy right now. You really should have called before coming all this way.\\\"\\n\\\"Sorry, we're actually in the middle of something right now. If you give us a ring later in the week, we can make plans for a better day that works for both of us.\\\"\\n\\\"Thanks for coming but we're actually busy right now. I hear there's a great new restaurant on Main Street, why don't you check that out. Call us later in the week and we'll set up a time for dinner soon?\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,459 | How to Ask Permission from a Girl's Father to Date Her | 1. Building Your Confidence
1-1. Show your interest.
Before you ever talk to her father, you need to show the girl you're interested and find out if she's interested in you. If you haven't established that you both like each other, she's probably going to find it off-putting that you asked her dad permission before you asked her.
If you don't know how to start a relationship, start just by talking to her. Find common ground, or use the classes or surrounding environment to strike up a conversation.
For example, you could say, "That test was hard, wasn't it? How do you think you did?" just to get the conversation going.
1-2. Develop your relationship.
Once you've started talking, work on developing a friendship. Continue to talk to her and seek her out. Show interest in what she likes to do, and don't be afraid to give her a compliment. You could say, "You're so smart," or "You're really good at math!"
When you've spent a good deal of time together, you can bring up the topic of dating or going out. You could say something like, "I enjoy spending time with you. I think I like you as more than a friend. Would you like to go out with me?"
1-3. Bring up the topic of asking for permission.
Once you've established that you'd both like to go out with each other, bring up the topic of asking her father. You need to explain your reasoning for asking his permission and ask her if it's okay, as she may have reasons that it's not a good idea. If she thinks it's a good idea, ask her a few questions about her dad, so you'll have a better idea of what you're walking into. You could ask her if he's strict, as well as his religious beliefs, as that could help you figure out an approach.
You could say, "I know most parents are uncomfortable with their kids dating, so I'd really like to talk to your dad about us dating before we go out. What do you think about that?"
Alternatively, you could say, "I know your family is fairly conservative, so I'd feel more comfortable asking your dad's permission for us to date. How do you feel about that?"
Of course, it may be that she has brought up the topic of asking her father permission because she knows that's what he would want. In that case, ask her for tips about how to approach the conversation, since she knows her father much better than you do.
1-4. Be prepared for the conversation.
This conversation is not one you want to go into without thinking about what you want to say ahead of time. When you're faced with your potential girlfriend's dad, you're liable to get a little tongue-tied. Therefore, you need to think about what you're going to say before you get into that situation.
It can help to write out what you want to say, or at least write down enough to figure out your main points. You probably don't want to take what you wrote with you when you go, but just writing it down can help you work through it.
For example, maybe you want to say something like "Hello, Mr. Vail. I wanted to meet with you today to discuss your daughter. I would like to date her. I know that could be a problem for you, but I want you to know that I have nothing but respect for her. I give my word that I will treat her well."
1-5. Work on your confidence.
Of course, you're going to be nervous. The trick is to seem confident despite your nerves. Confidence will give off a better impression, as you'll seem more sure of yourself. Don't overdo it, though, as you don't want to seem cocky.\
Make sure to run through your speech several times to make sure you remember what you're going to say. That way, you'll be less likely to lose your nerve. Ask a sibling or a parent to go over it with you if you think it will help.
One way to seem more confident is to pay attention to your body language. Look him in his eyes, especially when introducing yourself, and make sure you stand up straight.
Be sure to smile, and when you shake his hand, do it with strength and confidence. In addition, don't be afraid to crack a joke or laugh at one he makes.
2. Making a Good Impression
2-1. Set up a time to talk.
Call your potential girlfriend's father, and introduce yourself. When you introduce yourself, make sure you mention your connection to his daughter. Ask him if you can meet with him to talk to him about his daughter.
For example, you could say, "Hello, Mr. Vail. I'm Terry Roberts, and I go to school with your daughter, Jessica. I was wondering if I could meet with you in the next week to discuss my relationship with your daughter." Letting him know ahead of time what you want to discuss gives him a chance to prepare his mind for the conversation.
Of course, it's possible that you already know her father. In that case, it's still polite to call and set up a meeting. When you do, you'll still state who you are and what you would like. You could say, "Hello, Mr. Vail. It's your daughter's friend, Terry Roberts. We go to school together. I was wondering if I could meet with you soon to discuss my relationship with your daughter."
If he agrees to the meeting, set up a time and place. Let him pick it out since you're asking him a favor. If he asks for more information, you can emphasize that you'd really like to meet with him in person.
2-2. Dress to impress.
Your potential girlfriend's father will not be impressed if you show up in clothes full of holes or covered in stains. You don't have to dress in a suit. However, some nice pants, a button-up shirt, and a tie wouldn't hurt. Dressing up shows that you respect him and his daughter, and he'll be more likely to say yes.
Also, make sure everything is ironed, and you're not missing any buttons or anything.
2-3. Be on time.
If you say you're going to show up at 4:00 P.M., make sure you are strictly on time. Being about 10 minutes early is even better, though you don't want to show up much earlier than that, especially if you're going to his house, as he may not be ready for you. Showing up on time shows you respect him enough to know his time is valuable.
2-4. Introduce yourself again.
When you show up to the meeting, it's polite to introduce yourself in person, even if you already introduced yourself over the phone. Give your name, and offer your hand to shake. It's also polite to offer an introduction to how you know his daughter, as it gives him some context about you.
You could say, "Hello, sir, my name is Terry Roberts. As you know, I go to school with your daughter, Jessica." Then offer your hand to shake.
Of course, if you know him, you don't need to introduce yourself, but it's still polite to greet him and offer your hand to shake.
2-5. Don't be afraid to give a compliment.
Everyone loves compliments, as long as they're sincere. You don't necessarily have to compliment her father, if that makes you uncomfortable, but compliment something that's connected to him.
For example, you could compliment his house or his car, such as, "Your house is really amazing."
3. Communicating Effectively
3-1. Be direct.
You don't want to spend time beating around the bush. Being direct is a much better approach, and it shows you have bravery (because it does take bravery to say that to a potential girlfriend's father). Therefore, start out by stating outright why you wanted to talk to him.
For example, you could say, "I asked to meet with you because I would like to date your daughter. Even though I don't know you, I respect her and you enough to come here and ask your permission first."
If you do know her father, you can leave out the part about not knowing him.
3-2. State why you want to date his daughter.
If you're still a teenager, be aware that most fathers are not going to want to hear that you "love" his daughter, especially if you aren't technically dating yet. However, you can express what you like and respect about his daughter so he understands your intentions.
For example, you could say, "Sir, I'd like to date your daughter because I think she's very smart and funny. I enjoy spending time with her."
3-3. Think about it from his perspective.
His daughter means the world to him, and he expects anyone that dates her to respect her and treat her well. You need to let him know that you will treat her well to put his mind at ease. [
For example, you could say, "I understand that anyone dating your daughter will need to treat her with respect. I promise I will do my best to treat her well and not hurt her. I know she deserves the best from anyone who dates her."
3-4. Give him a chance to talk.
In any conversation, you've got to give the other person a chance to voice their feelings. In this case, that means letting her father voice his concerns. He'll likely have something to say, even if he does eventually give you permission.
Listen actively to what he has to say. That means making sure that you hear what he's saying, and that you're not just thinking about what you're going to say next.
Also, be sure your body language shows you're listening. Look him in the eye, and nod along to what he's saying.
You can also summarize what you're saying to make sure you are hearing his concerns correctly. For example, you could say, "What I hear you saying is you're not sure if you're ready for your daughter to date. I completely understand that concern."
3-5. Work on goals together.
One way you can help your cause is to set boundaries with your potential girlfriend's father. That is, once you hear his concerns, try to figure out if there's a way you can calm his fears by agreeing to certain terms.
You could say, "I hear what you're saying. What could I do to make you feel better about me dating your daughter? I would be willing to agree to whatever boundaries you set. For example, maybe we could start with group dating, or we could even go on a date with your supervision. I'm willing to prove to you that I'm worthy of dating your daughter."
Remember what "permission" means. That is, you want to know if your potential girlfriend's father thinks it's fine for you to date his daughter. Then, it's up to him. He can say "yes," but you've also given him a chance to say "no." If he says "no," you must accept that response.
Tips
Asking a parent or Father's permission first often depends on how old the two of you are.
You can have the conversation over the phone, but it shows more respect to have the conversation in person.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Building Your Confidence\\n1-1. Show your interest.\\nBefore you ever talk to her father, you need to show the girl you're interested and find out if she's interested in you. If you haven't established that you both like each other, she's probably going to find it off-putting that you asked her dad permission before you asked her. \\nIf you don't know how to start a relationship, start just by talking to her. Find common ground, or use the classes or surrounding environment to strike up a conversation.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"That test was hard, wasn't it? How do you think you did?\\\" just to get the conversation going.\\n1-2. Develop your relationship.\\nOnce you've started talking, work on developing a friendship. Continue to talk to her and seek her out. Show interest in what she likes to do, and don't be afraid to give her a compliment. You could say, \\\"You're so smart,\\\" or \\\"You're really good at math!\\\"\\nWhen you've spent a good deal of time together, you can bring up the topic of dating or going out. You could say something like, \\\"I enjoy spending time with you. I think I like you as more than a friend. Would you like to go out with me?\\\"\\n1-3. Bring up the topic of asking for permission.\\nOnce you've established that you'd both like to go out with each other, bring up the topic of asking her father. You need to explain your reasoning for asking his permission and ask her if it's okay, as she may have reasons that it's not a good idea. If she thinks it's a good idea, ask her a few questions about her dad, so you'll have a better idea of what you're walking into. You could ask her if he's strict, as well as his religious beliefs, as that could help you figure out an approach.\\nYou could say, \\\"I know most parents are uncomfortable with their kids dating, so I'd really like to talk to your dad about us dating before we go out. What do you think about that?\\\"\\nAlternatively, you could say, \\\"I know your family is fairly conservative, so I'd feel more comfortable asking your dad's permission for us to date. How do you feel about that?\\\"\\nOf course, it may be that she has brought up the topic of asking her father permission because she knows that's what he would want. In that case, ask her for tips about how to approach the conversation, since she knows her father much better than you do.\\n1-4. Be prepared for the conversation.\\nThis conversation is not one you want to go into without thinking about what you want to say ahead of time. When you're faced with your potential girlfriend's dad, you're liable to get a little tongue-tied. Therefore, you need to think about what you're going to say before you get into that situation.\\nIt can help to write out what you want to say, or at least write down enough to figure out your main points. You probably don't want to take what you wrote with you when you go, but just writing it down can help you work through it.\\nFor example, maybe you want to say something like \\\"Hello, Mr. Vail. I wanted to meet with you today to discuss your daughter. I would like to date her. I know that could be a problem for you, but I want you to know that I have nothing but respect for her. I give my word that I will treat her well.\\\"\\n1-5. Work on your confidence.\\nOf course, you're going to be nervous. The trick is to seem confident despite your nerves. Confidence will give off a better impression, as you'll seem more sure of yourself. Don't overdo it, though, as you don't want to seem cocky.\\\\\\nMake sure to run through your speech several times to make sure you remember what you're going to say. That way, you'll be less likely to lose your nerve. Ask a sibling or a parent to go over it with you if you think it will help.\\nOne way to seem more confident is to pay attention to your body language. Look him in his eyes, especially when introducing yourself, and make sure you stand up straight.\\nBe sure to smile, and when you shake his hand, do it with strength and confidence. In addition, don't be afraid to crack a joke or laugh at one he makes.\\n2. Making a Good Impression\\n2-1. Set up a time to talk.\\nCall your potential girlfriend's father, and introduce yourself. When you introduce yourself, make sure you mention your connection to his daughter. Ask him if you can meet with him to talk to him about his daughter.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"Hello, Mr. Vail. I'm Terry Roberts, and I go to school with your daughter, Jessica. I was wondering if I could meet with you in the next week to discuss my relationship with your daughter.\\\" Letting him know ahead of time what you want to discuss gives him a chance to prepare his mind for the conversation.\\nOf course, it's possible that you already know her father. In that case, it's still polite to call and set up a meeting. When you do, you'll still state who you are and what you would like. You could say, \\\"Hello, Mr. Vail. It's your daughter's friend, Terry Roberts. We go to school together. I was wondering if I could meet with you soon to discuss my relationship with your daughter.\\\"\\nIf he agrees to the meeting, set up a time and place. Let him pick it out since you're asking him a favor. If he asks for more information, you can emphasize that you'd really like to meet with him in person.\\n2-2. Dress to impress.\\nYour potential girlfriend's father will not be impressed if you show up in clothes full of holes or covered in stains. You don't have to dress in a suit. However, some nice pants, a button-up shirt, and a tie wouldn't hurt. Dressing up shows that you respect him and his daughter, and he'll be more likely to say yes.\\nAlso, make sure everything is ironed, and you're not missing any buttons or anything.\\n2-3. Be on time.\\nIf you say you're going to show up at 4:00 P.M., make sure you are strictly on time. Being about 10 minutes early is even better, though you don't want to show up much earlier than that, especially if you're going to his house, as he may not be ready for you. Showing up on time shows you respect him enough to know his time is valuable.\\n2-4. Introduce yourself again.\\nWhen you show up to the meeting, it's polite to introduce yourself in person, even if you already introduced yourself over the phone. Give your name, and offer your hand to shake. It's also polite to offer an introduction to how you know his daughter, as it gives him some context about you.\\nYou could say, \\\"Hello, sir, my name is Terry Roberts. As you know, I go to school with your daughter, Jessica.\\\" Then offer your hand to shake.\\nOf course, if you know him, you don't need to introduce yourself, but it's still polite to greet him and offer your hand to shake.\\n2-5. Don't be afraid to give a compliment.\\nEveryone loves compliments, as long as they're sincere. You don't necessarily have to compliment her father, if that makes you uncomfortable, but compliment something that's connected to him.\\nFor example, you could compliment his house or his car, such as, \\\"Your house is really amazing.\\\"\\n3. Communicating Effectively\\n3-1. Be direct.\\nYou don't want to spend time beating around the bush. Being direct is a much better approach, and it shows you have bravery (because it does take bravery to say that to a potential girlfriend's father). Therefore, start out by stating outright why you wanted to talk to him.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"I asked to meet with you because I would like to date your daughter. Even though I don't know you, I respect her and you enough to come here and ask your permission first.\\\"\\nIf you do know her father, you can leave out the part about not knowing him.\\n3-2. State why you want to date his daughter.\\nIf you're still a teenager, be aware that most fathers are not going to want to hear that you \\\"love\\\" his daughter, especially if you aren't technically dating yet. However, you can express what you like and respect about his daughter so he understands your intentions.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"Sir, I'd like to date your daughter because I think she's very smart and funny. I enjoy spending time with her.\\\"\\n3-3. Think about it from his perspective.\\nHis daughter means the world to him, and he expects anyone that dates her to respect her and treat her well. You need to let him know that you will treat her well to put his mind at ease. [\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"I understand that anyone dating your daughter will need to treat her with respect. I promise I will do my best to treat her well and not hurt her. I know she deserves the best from anyone who dates her.\\\"\\n3-4. Give him a chance to talk.\\nIn any conversation, you've got to give the other person a chance to voice their feelings. In this case, that means letting her father voice his concerns. He'll likely have something to say, even if he does eventually give you permission.\\nListen actively to what he has to say. That means making sure that you hear what he's saying, and that you're not just thinking about what you're going to say next.\\nAlso, be sure your body language shows you're listening. Look him in the eye, and nod along to what he's saying.\\nYou can also summarize what you're saying to make sure you are hearing his concerns correctly. For example, you could say, \\\"What I hear you saying is you're not sure if you're ready for your daughter to date. I completely understand that concern.\\\"\\n3-5. Work on goals together.\\nOne way you can help your cause is to set boundaries with your potential girlfriend's father. That is, once you hear his concerns, try to figure out if there's a way you can calm his fears by agreeing to certain terms.\\nYou could say, \\\"I hear what you're saying. What could I do to make you feel better about me dating your daughter? I would be willing to agree to whatever boundaries you set. For example, maybe we could start with group dating, or we could even go on a date with your supervision. I'm willing to prove to you that I'm worthy of dating your daughter.\\\"\\nRemember what \\\"permission\\\" means. That is, you want to know if your potential girlfriend's father thinks it's fine for you to date his daughter. Then, it's up to him. He can say \\\"yes,\\\" but you've also given him a chance to say \\\"no.\\\" If he says \\\"no,\\\" you must accept that response.\\nTips\\nAsking a parent or Father's permission first often depends on how old the two of you are.\\nYou can have the conversation over the phone, but it shows more respect to have the conversation in person.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you know a girl's parents are strict, you may decide you need to ask her father for permission to date her. Alternatively, your girlfriend may ask you to do it to smooth things over with her parents. Either way, it can be a nerve-wracking experience, but the key is to stay calm and be respectful. Start by building up your confidence for the conversation, then make sure you make a good first impression. Also, just be upfront about what you want.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building Your Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show your interest.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ever talk to her father, you need to show the girl you're interested and find out if she's interested in you. If you haven't established that you both like each other, she's probably going to find it off-putting that you asked her dad permission before you asked her. \\nIf you don't know how to start a relationship, start just by talking to her. Find common ground, or use the classes or surrounding environment to strike up a conversation.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"That test was hard, wasn't it? How do you think you did?\\\" just to get the conversation going.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've started talking, work on developing a friendship. Continue to talk to her and seek her out. Show interest in what she likes to do, and don't be afraid to give her a compliment. You could say, \\\"You're so smart,\\\" or \\\"You're really good at math!\\\"\\nWhen you've spent a good deal of time together, you can bring up the topic of dating or going out. You could say something like, \\\"I enjoy spending time with you. I think I like you as more than a friend. Would you like to go out with me?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring up the topic of asking for permission.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've established that you'd both like to go out with each other, bring up the topic of asking her father. You need to explain your reasoning for asking his permission and ask her if it's okay, as she may have reasons that it's not a good idea. If she thinks it's a good idea, ask her a few questions about her dad, so you'll have a better idea of what you're walking into. You could ask her if he's strict, as well as his religious beliefs, as that could help you figure out an approach.\\nYou could say, \\\"I know most parents are uncomfortable with their kids dating, so I'd really like to talk to your dad about us dating before we go out. What do you think about that?\\\"\\nAlternatively, you could say, \\\"I know your family is fairly conservative, so I'd feel more comfortable asking your dad's permission for us to date. How do you feel about that?\\\"\\nOf course, it may be that she has brought up the topic of asking her father permission because she knows that's what he would want. In that case, ask her for tips about how to approach the conversation, since she knows her father much better than you do.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"This conversation is not one you want to go into without thinking about what you want to say ahead of time. When you're faced with your potential girlfriend's dad, you're liable to get a little tongue-tied. Therefore, you need to think about what you're going to say before you get into that situation.\\nIt can help to write out what you want to say, or at least write down enough to figure out your main points. You probably don't want to take what you wrote with you when you go, but just writing it down can help you work through it.\\nFor example, maybe you want to say something like \\\"Hello, Mr. Vail. I wanted to meet with you today to discuss your daughter. I would like to date her. I know that could be a problem for you, but I want you to know that I have nothing but respect for her. I give my word that I will treat her well.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Work on your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, you're going to be nervous. The trick is to seem confident despite your nerves. Confidence will give off a better impression, as you'll seem more sure of yourself. Don't overdo it, though, as you don't want to seem cocky.\\\\\\nMake sure to run through your speech several times to make sure you remember what you're going to say. That way, you'll be less likely to lose your nerve. Ask a sibling or a parent to go over it with you if you think it will help.\\nOne way to seem more confident is to pay attention to your body language. Look him in his eyes, especially when introducing yourself, and make sure you stand up straight.\\nBe sure to smile, and when you shake his hand, do it with strength and confidence. In addition, don't be afraid to crack a joke or laugh at one he makes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making a Good Impression\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set up a time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Call your potential girlfriend's father, and introduce yourself. When you introduce yourself, make sure you mention your connection to his daughter. Ask him if you can meet with him to talk to him about his daughter.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"Hello, Mr. Vail. I'm Terry Roberts, and I go to school with your daughter, Jessica. I was wondering if I could meet with you in the next week to discuss my relationship with your daughter.\\\" Letting him know ahead of time what you want to discuss gives him a chance to prepare his mind for the conversation.\\nOf course, it's possible that you already know her father. In that case, it's still polite to call and set up a meeting. When you do, you'll still state who you are and what you would like. You could say, \\\"Hello, Mr. Vail. It's your daughter's friend, Terry Roberts. We go to school together. I was wondering if I could meet with you soon to discuss my relationship with your daughter.\\\"\\nIf he agrees to the meeting, set up a time and place. Let him pick it out since you're asking him a favor. If he asks for more information, you can emphasize that you'd really like to meet with him in person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress to impress.\", \"描述\": \"Your potential girlfriend's father will not be impressed if you show up in clothes full of holes or covered in stains. You don't have to dress in a suit. However, some nice pants, a button-up shirt, and a tie wouldn't hurt. Dressing up shows that you respect him and his daughter, and he'll be more likely to say yes.\\nAlso, make sure everything is ironed, and you're not missing any buttons or anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be on time.\", \"描述\": \"If you say you're going to show up at 4:00 P.M., make sure you are strictly on time. Being about 10 minutes early is even better, though you don't want to show up much earlier than that, especially if you're going to his house, as he may not be ready for you. Showing up on time shows you respect him enough to know his time is valuable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself again.\", \"描述\": \"When you show up to the meeting, it's polite to introduce yourself in person, even if you already introduced yourself over the phone. Give your name, and offer your hand to shake. It's also polite to offer an introduction to how you know his daughter, as it gives him some context about you.\\nYou could say, \\\"Hello, sir, my name is Terry Roberts. As you know, I go to school with your daughter, Jessica.\\\" Then offer your hand to shake.\\nOf course, if you know him, you don't need to introduce yourself, but it's still polite to greet him and offer your hand to shake.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to give a compliment.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone loves compliments, as long as they're sincere. You don't necessarily have to compliment her father, if that makes you uncomfortable, but compliment something that's connected to him.\\nFor example, you could compliment his house or his car, such as, \\\"Your house is really amazing.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicating Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be direct.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to spend time beating around the bush. Being direct is a much better approach, and it shows you have bravery (because it does take bravery to say that to a potential girlfriend's father). Therefore, start out by stating outright why you wanted to talk to him.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"I asked to meet with you because I would like to date your daughter. Even though I don't know you, I respect her and you enough to come here and ask your permission first.\\\"\\nIf you do know her father, you can leave out the part about not knowing him.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"State why you want to date his daughter.\", \"描述\": \"If you're still a teenager, be aware that most fathers are not going to want to hear that you \\\"love\\\" his daughter, especially if you aren't technically dating yet. However, you can express what you like and respect about his daughter so he understands your intentions.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"Sir, I'd like to date your daughter because I think she's very smart and funny. I enjoy spending time with her.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think about it from his perspective.\", \"描述\": \"His daughter means the world to him, and he expects anyone that dates her to respect her and treat her well. You need to let him know that you will treat her well to put his mind at ease. [\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"I understand that anyone dating your daughter will need to treat her with respect. I promise I will do my best to treat her well and not hurt her. I know she deserves the best from anyone who dates her.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give him a chance to talk.\", \"描述\": \"In any conversation, you've got to give the other person a chance to voice their feelings. In this case, that means letting her father voice his concerns. He'll likely have something to say, even if he does eventually give you permission.\\nListen actively to what he has to say. That means making sure that you hear what he's saying, and that you're not just thinking about what you're going to say next.\\nAlso, be sure your body language shows you're listening. Look him in the eye, and nod along to what he's saying.\\nYou can also summarize what you're saying to make sure you are hearing his concerns correctly. For example, you could say, \\\"What I hear you saying is you're not sure if you're ready for your daughter to date. I completely understand that concern.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Work on goals together.\", \"描述\": \"One way you can help your cause is to set boundaries with your potential girlfriend's father. That is, once you hear his concerns, try to figure out if there's a way you can calm his fears by agreeing to certain terms.\\nYou could say, \\\"I hear what you're saying. What could I do to make you feel better about me dating your daughter? I would be willing to agree to whatever boundaries you set. For example, maybe we could start with group dating, or we could even go on a date with your supervision. I'm willing to prove to you that I'm worthy of dating your daughter.\\\"\\nRemember what \\\"permission\\\" means. That is, you want to know if your potential girlfriend's father thinks it's fine for you to date his daughter. Then, it's up to him. He can say \\\"yes,\\\" but you've also given him a chance to say \\\"no.\\\" If he says \\\"no,\\\" you must accept that response.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Asking a parent or Father's permission first often depends on how old the two of you are.\\n\", \"You can have the conversation over the phone, but it shows more respect to have the conversation in person.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,460 | How to Ask Questions in Class | 1. Getting the Teacher's Attention
1-1. Wait for the right time.
Most teachers give their students a chance to bring up questions and concerns at the end of a lesson. Hold onto your question until you’re prompted for it. That way, your teacher will be able to reach a good stopping point and give you a detailed answer.
Familiarize yourself with the way things are normally done in your classroom. Your teacher might encourage students to ask questions during the lesson, or they may prefer that you save them for a designated time.
If the teacher doesn’t invite questions, wait for a pause before asking.
1-2. Raise your hand.
This is the most common and courteous way of letting your teacher know that you have a question. Raising your hand lets you signal quietly so that you don’t interrupt the lesson or disturb your classmates. It will also help you get noticed in a room full of students.
Keep your hand up until your teacher acknowledges you. They may not see you right away.
Don’t wave your arm around in an effort to be seen. This can be very distracting.
1-3. Tell the teacher you have a question.
If your teacher fails to notice that you have your hand up, you can politely alert them before you get left behind in the lesson. Simply say “excuse me,” or get their attention by saying their name. Wait until you’re called on before you begin talking.
Be respectful. Pestering or talking over your teacher will just make you look like you’re trying to cause a scene.
2. Asking Good Questions
2-1. See if you can come up with the answer yourself.
You may already have the information you need to find out what it is you want to know. Before you ask a question, think it over and make sure it’s something you can’t find out on your own. Review your textbook and notes and look for the answer there.
Learning to search for answers independently can improve your study habits and make you more resourceful.
It can be somewhat embarrassing to ask a question when the answer is right in front of you.
2-2. Calm your nerves.
A lot of students tend to be shy about asking questions, but there’s no reason to be. Think of questions as a tool you can use to make learning more effective. Even if the answer is a simple one, the fact that you had the presence of mind to ask will show that you’re engaged with the course material.
Chances are, someone else in the class has the same question and is too timid bring it up.
Once you’ve gotten comfortable expressing yourself in class, you’ll be more confident about asking questions in the future.
2-3. Speak in a clear, audible voice.
Articulate your words and make sure the teacher and the rest of the class can hear you. That way, you won’t be forced to repeat yourself.
You should talk loud enough to be heard clearly, but try not to shout.
Muttering or talking under your breath may make you hard to hear.
2-4. Keep your question brief.
There’s no need to ramble on and on or preface the question with other sorts of statements. Make it short and to the point. Your teacher will be better able to answer you, and you won’t lose any important class time.
To avoid confusion, the first thing you say should be a key question word: who, what, where, when, why or how.
2-5. Ask for specific information.
Point out exactly what you need clarified. This could be anything from a particular date, figure or spelling to more involved questions like the meaning of an idiom or a breakdown of the individual steps in a biological process. The key is to word your question carefully so that you can receive the information you’re missing.
“What year did the French Revolution start?” is a better question than “when was that, again?”
You could also phrase your question as a request—for instance, “could you spell that?” or “would it be possible to see that previous slide again?”
Avoid asking questions that are vague or open-ended.
2-6. Listen attentively to the answer.
Look directly at the teacher while they’re answering you, or take notes so that you can look them over later. Nod occasionally to indicate that you understand what you’re being told. Once the answer has been explained satisfactorily, thank the teacher.
If you’re still having trouble grasping something, ask the teacher for clarification before you move on.
Don’t interrupt or let your eyes wander around the room. This could be considered rude.
3. Finding Other Ways to Ask
3-1. Save multiple questions for after class.
There may not be enough time to answer all of your questions, especially if it’s near the end of the period and other students have questions of their own. In these cases, you can approach your teacher after class and have them clear up anything you’re still uncertain about.
Lay out your questions one at a time so your teacher will have an easier time answering them.
College students can also schedule an appointment to speak to their professors during office hours.
3-2. Write down questions you have about homework.
Make a list of difficult problems and concepts that you encounter in your out-of-class assignments. You may discover the answer on your own as you continue studying. If not, you can get your teacher to address these questions before the beginning of the following class period.
Identifying ideas you don't understand will help you do better on future assignments.
Show up a little early for the next class so you’ll have an opportunity to discuss your questions in depth.
3-3. Email the question instead.
If you just can’t overcome your anxiety of speaking in class, it’s okay to type your question out in a message. Email is convenient because you can one anytime a question arises, whether you’re in class or not. You’ll still get the same response, and you’ll have the freedom to check back for an answer throughout the day.
Put the main idea of the question in the email’s subject line so that your teacher will know what to expect from your message.
If time is a factor (such as right before a big exam), be sure to send your email well enough in advance to ensure that you’ll receive a reply in time.
Another benefit of email is that you can archive it and look it over later should you happen to forget the answer.
Tips
Don’t hesitate to ask a question whenever there’s something you don’t understand.
If you think you might forget your question before you get a chance to ask it, jot it down in your notes.
Stay on topic. In order to avoid over complicating things, try to only ask questions about the subject you’re currently studying.
Warnings
Direct your questions at the teacher, not your friends or fellow students. You could get in trouble for carrying on conversations during class.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting the Teacher's Attention\\n1-1. Wait for the right time.\\nMost teachers give their students a chance to bring up questions and concerns at the end of a lesson. Hold onto your question until you’re prompted for it. That way, your teacher will be able to reach a good stopping point and give you a detailed answer.\\nFamiliarize yourself with the way things are normally done in your classroom. Your teacher might encourage students to ask questions during the lesson, or they may prefer that you save them for a designated time.\\nIf the teacher doesn’t invite questions, wait for a pause before asking.\\n1-2. Raise your hand.\\nThis is the most common and courteous way of letting your teacher know that you have a question. Raising your hand lets you signal quietly so that you don’t interrupt the lesson or disturb your classmates. It will also help you get noticed in a room full of students.\\nKeep your hand up until your teacher acknowledges you. They may not see you right away.\\nDon’t wave your arm around in an effort to be seen. This can be very distracting.\\n1-3. Tell the teacher you have a question.\\nIf your teacher fails to notice that you have your hand up, you can politely alert them before you get left behind in the lesson. Simply say “excuse me,” or get their attention by saying their name. Wait until you’re called on before you begin talking.\\nBe respectful. Pestering or talking over your teacher will just make you look like you’re trying to cause a scene.\\n2. Asking Good Questions\\n2-1. See if you can come up with the answer yourself.\\nYou may already have the information you need to find out what it is you want to know. Before you ask a question, think it over and make sure it’s something you can’t find out on your own. Review your textbook and notes and look for the answer there.\\nLearning to search for answers independently can improve your study habits and make you more resourceful.\\nIt can be somewhat embarrassing to ask a question when the answer is right in front of you.\\n2-2. Calm your nerves.\\nA lot of students tend to be shy about asking questions, but there’s no reason to be. Think of questions as a tool you can use to make learning more effective. Even if the answer is a simple one, the fact that you had the presence of mind to ask will show that you’re engaged with the course material.\\nChances are, someone else in the class has the same question and is too timid bring it up.\\nOnce you’ve gotten comfortable expressing yourself in class, you’ll be more confident about asking questions in the future.\\n2-3. Speak in a clear, audible voice.\\nArticulate your words and make sure the teacher and the rest of the class can hear you. That way, you won’t be forced to repeat yourself.\\nYou should talk loud enough to be heard clearly, but try not to shout.\\nMuttering or talking under your breath may make you hard to hear.\\n2-4. Keep your question brief.\\nThere’s no need to ramble on and on or preface the question with other sorts of statements. Make it short and to the point. Your teacher will be better able to answer you, and you won’t lose any important class time.\\nTo avoid confusion, the first thing you say should be a key question word: who, what, where, when, why or how.\\n2-5. Ask for specific information.\\nPoint out exactly what you need clarified. This could be anything from a particular date, figure or spelling to more involved questions like the meaning of an idiom or a breakdown of the individual steps in a biological process. The key is to word your question carefully so that you can receive the information you’re missing.\\n“What year did the French Revolution start?” is a better question than “when was that, again?”\\nYou could also phrase your question as a request—for instance, “could you spell that?” or “would it be possible to see that previous slide again?”\\nAvoid asking questions that are vague or open-ended.\\n2-6. Listen attentively to the answer.\\nLook directly at the teacher while they’re answering you, or take notes so that you can look them over later. Nod occasionally to indicate that you understand what you’re being told. Once the answer has been explained satisfactorily, thank the teacher.\\nIf you’re still having trouble grasping something, ask the teacher for clarification before you move on.\\nDon’t interrupt or let your eyes wander around the room. This could be considered rude.\\n3. Finding Other Ways to Ask\\n3-1. Save multiple questions for after class.\\nThere may not be enough time to answer all of your questions, especially if it’s near the end of the period and other students have questions of their own. In these cases, you can approach your teacher after class and have them clear up anything you’re still uncertain about.\\nLay out your questions one at a time so your teacher will have an easier time answering them.\\nCollege students can also schedule an appointment to speak to their professors during office hours.\\n3-2. Write down questions you have about homework.\\nMake a list of difficult problems and concepts that you encounter in your out-of-class assignments. You may discover the answer on your own as you continue studying. If not, you can get your teacher to address these questions before the beginning of the following class period.\\nIdentifying ideas you don't understand will help you do better on future assignments.\\nShow up a little early for the next class so you’ll have an opportunity to discuss your questions in depth.\\n3-3. Email the question instead.\\nIf you just can’t overcome your anxiety of speaking in class, it’s okay to type your question out in a message. Email is convenient because you can one anytime a question arises, whether you’re in class or not. You’ll still get the same response, and you’ll have the freedom to check back for an answer throughout the day.\\nPut the main idea of the question in the email’s subject line so that your teacher will know what to expect from your message.\\nIf time is a factor (such as right before a big exam), be sure to send your email well enough in advance to ensure that you’ll receive a reply in time.\\nAnother benefit of email is that you can archive it and look it over later should you happen to forget the answer.\\nTips\\nDon’t hesitate to ask a question whenever there’s something you don’t understand.\\nIf you think you might forget your question before you get a chance to ask it, jot it down in your notes.\\nStay on topic. In order to avoid over complicating things, try to only ask questions about the subject you’re currently studying.\\nWarnings\\nDirect your questions at the teacher, not your friends or fellow students. You could get in trouble for carrying on conversations during class.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It’s not always easy to speak up when you have a question in class. You might be too nervous to talk in front of others, or forget what you were going to say when you become flustered. You’re not alone—many students have an aversion to public speaking, especially when they think it might make them look foolish. Since asking for more information is key to improving your understanding of a given subject, it can be helpful to know how to ask the right way. If you’re unable to find an answer yourself, wait for a timely opening, then pose a specific question in a loud, clear tone of voice.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting the Teacher's Attention\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait for the right time.\", \"描述\": \"Most teachers give their students a chance to bring up questions and concerns at the end of a lesson. Hold onto your question until you’re prompted for it. That way, your teacher will be able to reach a good stopping point and give you a detailed answer.\\nFamiliarize yourself with the way things are normally done in your classroom. Your teacher might encourage students to ask questions during the lesson, or they may prefer that you save them for a designated time.\\nIf the teacher doesn’t invite questions, wait for a pause before asking.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Raise your hand.\", \"描述\": \"This is the most common and courteous way of letting your teacher know that you have a question. Raising your hand lets you signal quietly so that you don’t interrupt the lesson or disturb your classmates. It will also help you get noticed in a room full of students.\\nKeep your hand up until your teacher acknowledges you. They may not see you right away.\\nDon’t wave your arm around in an effort to be seen. This can be very distracting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell the teacher you have a question.\", \"描述\": \"If your teacher fails to notice that you have your hand up, you can politely alert them before you get left behind in the lesson. Simply say “excuse me,” or get their attention by saying their name. Wait until you’re called on before you begin talking.\\nBe respectful. Pestering or talking over your teacher will just make you look like you’re trying to cause a scene.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Good Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See if you can come up with the answer yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You may already have the information you need to find out what it is you want to know. Before you ask a question, think it over and make sure it’s something you can’t find out on your own. Review your textbook and notes and look for the answer there.\\nLearning to search for answers independently can improve your study habits and make you more resourceful.\\nIt can be somewhat embarrassing to ask a question when the answer is right in front of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Calm your nerves.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of students tend to be shy about asking questions, but there’s no reason to be. Think of questions as a tool you can use to make learning more effective. Even if the answer is a simple one, the fact that you had the presence of mind to ask will show that you’re engaged with the course material.\\nChances are, someone else in the class has the same question and is too timid bring it up.\\nOnce you’ve gotten comfortable expressing yourself in class, you’ll be more confident about asking questions in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak in a clear, audible voice.\", \"描述\": \"Articulate your words and make sure the teacher and the rest of the class can hear you. That way, you won’t be forced to repeat yourself.\\nYou should talk loud enough to be heard clearly, but try not to shout.\\nMuttering or talking under your breath may make you hard to hear.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your question brief.\", \"描述\": \"There’s no need to ramble on and on or preface the question with other sorts of statements. Make it short and to the point. Your teacher will be better able to answer you, and you won’t lose any important class time.\\nTo avoid confusion, the first thing you say should be a key question word: who, what, where, when, why or how.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask for specific information.\", \"描述\": \"Point out exactly what you need clarified. This could be anything from a particular date, figure or spelling to more involved questions like the meaning of an idiom or a breakdown of the individual steps in a biological process. The key is to word your question carefully so that you can receive the information you’re missing.\\n“What year did the French Revolution start?” is a better question than “when was that, again?”\\nYou could also phrase your question as a request—for instance, “could you spell that?” or “would it be possible to see that previous slide again?”\\nAvoid asking questions that are vague or open-ended.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen attentively to the answer.\", \"描述\": \"Look directly at the teacher while they’re answering you, or take notes so that you can look them over later. Nod occasionally to indicate that you understand what you’re being told. Once the answer has been explained satisfactorily, thank the teacher.\\nIf you’re still having trouble grasping something, ask the teacher for clarification before you move on.\\nDon’t interrupt or let your eyes wander around the room. This could be considered rude.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finding Other Ways to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Save multiple questions for after class.\", \"描述\": \"There may not be enough time to answer all of your questions, especially if it’s near the end of the period and other students have questions of their own. In these cases, you can approach your teacher after class and have them clear up anything you’re still uncertain about.\\nLay out your questions one at a time so your teacher will have an easier time answering them.\\nCollege students can also schedule an appointment to speak to their professors during office hours.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write down questions you have about homework.\", \"描述\": \"Make a list of difficult problems and concepts that you encounter in your out-of-class assignments. You may discover the answer on your own as you continue studying. If not, you can get your teacher to address these questions before the beginning of the following class period.\\nIdentifying ideas you don't understand will help you do better on future assignments.\\nShow up a little early for the next class so you’ll have an opportunity to discuss your questions in depth.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Email the question instead.\", \"描述\": \"If you just can’t overcome your anxiety of speaking in class, it’s okay to type your question out in a message. Email is convenient because you can one anytime a question arises, whether you’re in class or not. You’ll still get the same response, and you’ll have the freedom to check back for an answer throughout the day.\\nPut the main idea of the question in the email’s subject line so that your teacher will know what to expect from your message.\\nIf time is a factor (such as right before a big exam), be sure to send your email well enough in advance to ensure that you’ll receive a reply in time.\\nAnother benefit of email is that you can archive it and look it over later should you happen to forget the answer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t hesitate to ask a question whenever there’s something you don’t understand.\\n\", \"If you think you might forget your question before you get a chance to ask it, jot it down in your notes.\\n\", \"Stay on topic. In order to avoid over complicating things, try to only ask questions about the subject you’re currently studying.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Direct your questions at the teacher, not your friends or fellow students. You could get in trouble for carrying on conversations during class.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,461 | How to Ask Questions in a News Conference | 1. Asking Quality Questions with Courtesy
1-1. Wait until your question is most likely to be answered.
In general, those who organized the news conference will dictate when journalists are allowed to ask questions. Asking out of turn will increase the likelihood that your question is not addressed, and risk your removal from the conference altogether. In this sense, the speaker and organizers will dictate control over who gets to ask questions, but by following standard protocol, you can increase your chances of getting to ask a question and receiving an answer - neither of which are ever guaranteed.
Specific protocol will vary based on the type of conference.
Most commonly, expect to raise your hand and wait for the speaker or a supporting organizer acknowledge that you have a question.
1-2. Be polite.
It is in your best interest to be patient and polite during all facets of the conference, if only for the sake of developing of professional rapport with the organizers, speaker, and your fellow journalists. Developing the favor of those you're working with, alongside of, or covering will greatly improve that you are called on and receive sincere responses.
Even if you strongly disagree with the speaker, or have been offended by their perspectives or behavior, rudeness on your part will all but guarantee that your question will not be taken seriously.
1-3. Introduce yourself and your official affiliation.
Though it may seem formal, you should always quickly state your name and employer or media affiliation. Especially if there are people in the room who do not know who you are, this will help solidify your reputation as a journalist, and allow others, including the speaker, to easily follow up with you after the conference.
For example, quickly state, “Hello [name of speaker], [your name] with [affiliation].
If you are not a journalist, briefly state the reason you are in attendance. For instance, say something like “Hello [speaker’s name], my name is _____, and I’m here today because _______.”
1-4. Thank the person for allowing you to ask the question.
At formal conferences, consider also quickly thanking the speaker for taking your question. Simply add “Thank you for taking my question” to the end of your introduction.
1-5. Speak loudly and articulate clearly.
Most importantly, you need to ensure the speaker hears you with absolute clarity. Further, if the conference includes radio or television coverage, speaking loudly and clearly will also help ensure that any microphones being used are able to record your question.
1-6. Keep the question itself brief and to-the-point.
Following your introductory statement, your question should only be one or two sentences long. If you have multiple questions, choose the most important and lead with it. Limiting yourself to one specific question increases the chances that you will successfully solicit a meaningful answer.
Ask two questions maximum, and only when one is extremely specific and can be answered simply. For instance, you could ask a quick yes-or-no type question and then another that would require the speaker to elaborate.
2. Preparing to Ask Effective Questions
2-1. Do your research.
Aside from the vital importance of research to the process of providing accurate coverage, specific, in-depth research will also help you choose the most productive question to ask. News conferences in particular are usually held to update the public about a storyline that is already being covered. As such, you will be expected to have a base knowledge on the topic of the news conference, especially as a journalist.
Your own organization’s coverage is a great place to get up to date, as is talking to any co-workers that have been involved in coverage of related topics, or those who may be familiar with the speaker in particular.
Research both the topic, and the expected speaker in particular.
2-2. Prepare a list of questions in advance.
Particularly if the topic being covered is not immediately attention-grabbing, you and the other journalists may need to pull more information out of the speaker during the question and answer session than they volunteer. If you expect an announcement about something that could go one way or the other, prepare questions that would address the specifics of either scenario.
2-3. Arrive at the news conference early.
This may benefit you in multiple ways. For one, your literal position in the room may prove to be the deciding factor in your getting the chance to ask a question. Further, arriving early allows the chance to speak with other journalists and maybe even conference organizers.
Ideally, shoot for a spot near where the speaker is sitting, or in the middle of the front row.
If you are able to speak with a conference organizer, request the opportunity to speak with the speaker privately after the conference right off the bat. They may be planning to allow a few journalists a bit more nuanced perspective of a situation, and coming first to the table increases the chances you’ll get dessert.
2-4. Take notes.
News conferences can be fast-paced, so having notes handy as a reference can be helpful. On a notepad, jot down the important points the speaker makes and any word-by-word verbatim quotes that may be relevant to the story you intend to write or the interest of the organization you’re affiliated with. In particular, take note of points you hope are revisited, and consider questions that would dictate a more extensive response regarding these points.
Good notes will allow you to cite a speaker’s own words to them. For instance, you can later begin a question with “Earlier, you stated that _________, could you expand on that further or tell us explicitly what you meant be that?”
2-5. Listen for what the speaker doesn’t say.
Often, what a speaker chooses not to say is of equal importance to what they’ve said. The more familiar you are with the topic, the more likely you’ll be able to predict or look for certain types of comments, and know that their absence may also be significant.
For instance, if you’re aware of a certain facet of the topic that you know should be addressed and is not, structure a question accordingly. You know there’s a reason it wasn’t brought up.
2-6. Ask for a private audience following the conference.
Especially if you are affiliated with a reputable organization, it is always worth asking for the chance to speak with the speaker one on one after the conference. If they are hesitant to grant the audience, specify that you only have one question to ask. Further, specify that you have a question you’d rather not ask during the conference.
You can even apply a bit of pressure to earn a private audience by implying or telling the speaker you know something that not everyone does, and you wish to discuss it discretely.
While this may backfire and risk coming off as brash, it may also intrigue a speaker enough to hear your question.
2-7. Stay late.
Unless you simply want to get your write-up to print as quickly as possible, hang around. This will increase the chances of seeing or hearing more than what was conveyed in the context of a formal news conference. The speaker may even be willing to speak casually with members of the press off the record, or speak further about topics unrelated to the topic of the press conference after it has concluded.
3. Using Different Types of Questions
3-1. Ask answerable questions.
Most of the time, the most important criteria of your question is how likely it is to solicit a response with substance. Specificity is your ally in this regard; choose questions that are extremely answerable by explicitly addressing specifics. For example, great questions include requests for clarification regarding details of how, when, or where something occurred, or why someone is behaving in a certain manner.
Don’t ask a question you know the speaker will be unwilling or unable to answer. While this is a stunt often featured in video entertainment and perpetuated by activists, it’s a sure way to stop being allowed into press conferences.
3-2. Avoid making comments.
If you purpose to make a political statement, understand that this is an entirely different goal than asking a question. Your job is not to convince the speaker of anything, it’s to get information from them that you can report in your coverage. Any commentary, accordingly, belongs in your coverage, not during the question and answer session of a news conference. Comments risk understandably bothering the speaker as well as your fellow journalists, and, at best, will simply bore most of the others in the room.
3-3. Ask a courtesy question to start the question and answer session.
If crickets greet the speaker when they’re finished speaking, and it seems no one intends to ask a question, you may want to lead with a softball pitch before asking the question you really want answered. Starting the session with something the speaker can easily and safely answer will ingratiate them with you, and increase the likelihood they give a more serious question more attention.
For instance, ask for a quick clarification of a statement that was less clear when the speaker initially made it, allowing them to revisit something they prepared to speak on while reframing it in a way that may lead to additional information.
Similarily, open-ended questions will allow the speaker to expand on something they may have forgoten to mention. Consider by starting with something like. “How do you feel about _____.” Open-ended questions will essentially allow a speaker to say whatever they want, which they will appreciate - as long as you don’t ask them too often.
3-4. Ask off-topic questions rarely, if at all.
Questions at news conferences should be framed and informed by their relevance to the topic of the conference. If you have questions for the person unrelated to the topic of the news conference, it will likely be most effective to wait until the end of all the questions and ask it once the topic of the conference has been covered.
A good benchmark for deciding whether a question is appropriate to ask during a news conference is whether it will be of interest to a good amount of people in the room.
In situations where you’re intentionally putting the speaker on the spot, understand that your question may not be answered, and you may simply be reducing the chances they or other speakers will call on you again in the future.
3-5. Avoid asking overly esoteric or fluffy questions.
You want everyone in the room to understand your question, not just the speaker. Don’t try to demonstrate your knowledge of the topic - let the speaker do the talking. Similarily, avoid lingo and buzzwords too; this will allow the speaker to simply repeat any trending terminology back at you without actually saying anything.
When considering a potential question, make sure your phrasing either conveys a desire for a statement to be clarified, or for new information. This will ensure clarity and straightforwardness while diminishing unnecessary clauses or commentary.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Quality Questions with Courtesy\\n1-1. Wait until your question is most likely to be answered.\\nIn general, those who organized the news conference will dictate when journalists are allowed to ask questions. Asking out of turn will increase the likelihood that your question is not addressed, and risk your removal from the conference altogether. In this sense, the speaker and organizers will dictate control over who gets to ask questions, but by following standard protocol, you can increase your chances of getting to ask a question and receiving an answer - neither of which are ever guaranteed.\\nSpecific protocol will vary based on the type of conference.\\nMost commonly, expect to raise your hand and wait for the speaker or a supporting organizer acknowledge that you have a question.\\n1-2. Be polite.\\nIt is in your best interest to be patient and polite during all facets of the conference, if only for the sake of developing of professional rapport with the organizers, speaker, and your fellow journalists. Developing the favor of those you're working with, alongside of, or covering will greatly improve that you are called on and receive sincere responses.\\nEven if you strongly disagree with the speaker, or have been offended by their perspectives or behavior, rudeness on your part will all but guarantee that your question will not be taken seriously.\\n1-3. Introduce yourself and your official affiliation.\\nThough it may seem formal, you should always quickly state your name and employer or media affiliation. Especially if there are people in the room who do not know who you are, this will help solidify your reputation as a journalist, and allow others, including the speaker, to easily follow up with you after the conference.\\nFor example, quickly state, “Hello [name of speaker], [your name] with [affiliation].\\nIf you are not a journalist, briefly state the reason you are in attendance. For instance, say something like “Hello [speaker’s name], my name is _____, and I’m here today because _______.”\\n1-4. Thank the person for allowing you to ask the question.\\nAt formal conferences, consider also quickly thanking the speaker for taking your question. Simply add “Thank you for taking my question” to the end of your introduction.\\n1-5. Speak loudly and articulate clearly.\\nMost importantly, you need to ensure the speaker hears you with absolute clarity. Further, if the conference includes radio or television coverage, speaking loudly and clearly will also help ensure that any microphones being used are able to record your question.\\n1-6. Keep the question itself brief and to-the-point.\\nFollowing your introductory statement, your question should only be one or two sentences long. If you have multiple questions, choose the most important and lead with it. Limiting yourself to one specific question increases the chances that you will successfully solicit a meaningful answer.\\nAsk two questions maximum, and only when one is extremely specific and can be answered simply. For instance, you could ask a quick yes-or-no type question and then another that would require the speaker to elaborate.\\n2. Preparing to Ask Effective Questions\\n2-1. Do your research.\\nAside from the vital importance of research to the process of providing accurate coverage, specific, in-depth research will also help you choose the most productive question to ask. News conferences in particular are usually held to update the public about a storyline that is already being covered. As such, you will be expected to have a base knowledge on the topic of the news conference, especially as a journalist.\\nYour own organization’s coverage is a great place to get up to date, as is talking to any co-workers that have been involved in coverage of related topics, or those who may be familiar with the speaker in particular.\\nResearch both the topic, and the expected speaker in particular.\\n2-2. Prepare a list of questions in advance.\\nParticularly if the topic being covered is not immediately attention-grabbing, you and the other journalists may need to pull more information out of the speaker during the question and answer session than they volunteer. If you expect an announcement about something that could go one way or the other, prepare questions that would address the specifics of either scenario.\\n2-3. Arrive at the news conference early.\\nThis may benefit you in multiple ways. For one, your literal position in the room may prove to be the deciding factor in your getting the chance to ask a question. Further, arriving early allows the chance to speak with other journalists and maybe even conference organizers. \\nIdeally, shoot for a spot near where the speaker is sitting, or in the middle of the front row.\\nIf you are able to speak with a conference organizer, request the opportunity to speak with the speaker privately after the conference right off the bat. They may be planning to allow a few journalists a bit more nuanced perspective of a situation, and coming first to the table increases the chances you’ll get dessert.\\n2-4. Take notes.\\nNews conferences can be fast-paced, so having notes handy as a reference can be helpful. On a notepad, jot down the important points the speaker makes and any word-by-word verbatim quotes that may be relevant to the story you intend to write or the interest of the organization you’re affiliated with. In particular, take note of points you hope are revisited, and consider questions that would dictate a more extensive response regarding these points. \\nGood notes will allow you to cite a speaker’s own words to them. For instance, you can later begin a question with “Earlier, you stated that _________, could you expand on that further or tell us explicitly what you meant be that?”\\n2-5. Listen for what the speaker doesn’t say.\\nOften, what a speaker chooses not to say is of equal importance to what they’ve said. The more familiar you are with the topic, the more likely you’ll be able to predict or look for certain types of comments, and know that their absence may also be significant.\\nFor instance, if you’re aware of a certain facet of the topic that you know should be addressed and is not, structure a question accordingly. You know there’s a reason it wasn’t brought up.\\n2-6. Ask for a private audience following the conference.\\nEspecially if you are affiliated with a reputable organization, it is always worth asking for the chance to speak with the speaker one on one after the conference. If they are hesitant to grant the audience, specify that you only have one question to ask. Further, specify that you have a question you’d rather not ask during the conference.\\nYou can even apply a bit of pressure to earn a private audience by implying or telling the speaker you know something that not everyone does, and you wish to discuss it discretely.\\nWhile this may backfire and risk coming off as brash, it may also intrigue a speaker enough to hear your question.\\n2-7. Stay late.\\nUnless you simply want to get your write-up to print as quickly as possible, hang around. This will increase the chances of seeing or hearing more than what was conveyed in the context of a formal news conference. The speaker may even be willing to speak casually with members of the press off the record, or speak further about topics unrelated to the topic of the press conference after it has concluded.\\n3. Using Different Types of Questions\\n3-1. Ask answerable questions.\\nMost of the time, the most important criteria of your question is how likely it is to solicit a response with substance. Specificity is your ally in this regard; choose questions that are extremely answerable by explicitly addressing specifics. For example, great questions include requests for clarification regarding details of how, when, or where something occurred, or why someone is behaving in a certain manner.\\nDon’t ask a question you know the speaker will be unwilling or unable to answer. While this is a stunt often featured in video entertainment and perpetuated by activists, it’s a sure way to stop being allowed into press conferences.\\n3-2. Avoid making comments.\\nIf you purpose to make a political statement, understand that this is an entirely different goal than asking a question. Your job is not to convince the speaker of anything, it’s to get information from them that you can report in your coverage. Any commentary, accordingly, belongs in your coverage, not during the question and answer session of a news conference. Comments risk understandably bothering the speaker as well as your fellow journalists, and, at best, will simply bore most of the others in the room.\\n3-3. Ask a courtesy question to start the question and answer session.\\nIf crickets greet the speaker when they’re finished speaking, and it seems no one intends to ask a question, you may want to lead with a softball pitch before asking the question you really want answered. Starting the session with something the speaker can easily and safely answer will ingratiate them with you, and increase the likelihood they give a more serious question more attention.\\nFor instance, ask for a quick clarification of a statement that was less clear when the speaker initially made it, allowing them to revisit something they prepared to speak on while reframing it in a way that may lead to additional information.\\nSimilarily, open-ended questions will allow the speaker to expand on something they may have forgoten to mention. Consider by starting with something like. “How do you feel about _____.” Open-ended questions will essentially allow a speaker to say whatever they want, which they will appreciate - as long as you don’t ask them too often.\\n3-4. Ask off-topic questions rarely, if at all.\\nQuestions at news conferences should be framed and informed by their relevance to the topic of the conference. If you have questions for the person unrelated to the topic of the news conference, it will likely be most effective to wait until the end of all the questions and ask it once the topic of the conference has been covered.\\nA good benchmark for deciding whether a question is appropriate to ask during a news conference is whether it will be of interest to a good amount of people in the room.\\nIn situations where you’re intentionally putting the speaker on the spot, understand that your question may not be answered, and you may simply be reducing the chances they or other speakers will call on you again in the future.\\n3-5. Avoid asking overly esoteric or fluffy questions.\\nYou want everyone in the room to understand your question, not just the speaker. Don’t try to demonstrate your knowledge of the topic - let the speaker do the talking. Similarily, avoid lingo and buzzwords too; this will allow the speaker to simply repeat any trending terminology back at you without actually saying anything.\\nWhen considering a potential question, make sure your phrasing either conveys a desire for a statement to be clarified, or for new information. This will ensure clarity and straightforwardness while diminishing unnecessary clauses or commentary.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"News conferences are generally held when someone has information to release that is of interest to multiple media outlets and wants to make a formal public statement regarding the matter. Unless the speaker otherwise dictates, news conferences are typically structured so that journalists and other attendees may ask questions. By researching beforehand and maintaining common courtesy, prepare yourself to ask relevant, informative questions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Quality Questions with Courtesy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait until your question is most likely to be answered.\", \"描述\": \"In general, those who organized the news conference will dictate when journalists are allowed to ask questions. Asking out of turn will increase the likelihood that your question is not addressed, and risk your removal from the conference altogether. In this sense, the speaker and organizers will dictate control over who gets to ask questions, but by following standard protocol, you can increase your chances of getting to ask a question and receiving an answer - neither of which are ever guaranteed.\\nSpecific protocol will vary based on the type of conference.\\nMost commonly, expect to raise your hand and wait for the speaker or a supporting organizer acknowledge that you have a question.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"It is in your best interest to be patient and polite during all facets of the conference, if only for the sake of developing of professional rapport with the organizers, speaker, and your fellow journalists. Developing the favor of those you're working with, alongside of, or covering will greatly improve that you are called on and receive sincere responses.\\nEven if you strongly disagree with the speaker, or have been offended by their perspectives or behavior, rudeness on your part will all but guarantee that your question will not be taken seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself and your official affiliation.\", \"描述\": \"Though it may seem formal, you should always quickly state your name and employer or media affiliation. Especially if there are people in the room who do not know who you are, this will help solidify your reputation as a journalist, and allow others, including the speaker, to easily follow up with you after the conference.\\nFor example, quickly state, “Hello [name of speaker], [your name] with [affiliation].\\nIf you are not a journalist, briefly state the reason you are in attendance. For instance, say something like “Hello [speaker’s name], my name is _____, and I’m here today because _______.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Thank the person for allowing you to ask the question.\", \"描述\": \"At formal conferences, consider also quickly thanking the speaker for taking your question. Simply add “Thank you for taking my question” to the end of your introduction.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Speak loudly and articulate clearly.\", \"描述\": \"Most importantly, you need to ensure the speaker hears you with absolute clarity. Further, if the conference includes radio or television coverage, speaking loudly and clearly will also help ensure that any microphones being used are able to record your question.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep the question itself brief and to-the-point.\", \"描述\": \"Following your introductory statement, your question should only be one or two sentences long. If you have multiple questions, choose the most important and lead with it. Limiting yourself to one specific question increases the chances that you will successfully solicit a meaningful answer.\\nAsk two questions maximum, and only when one is extremely specific and can be answered simply. For instance, you could ask a quick yes-or-no type question and then another that would require the speaker to elaborate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Ask Effective Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your research.\", \"描述\": \"Aside from the vital importance of research to the process of providing accurate coverage, specific, in-depth research will also help you choose the most productive question to ask. News conferences in particular are usually held to update the public about a storyline that is already being covered. As such, you will be expected to have a base knowledge on the topic of the news conference, especially as a journalist.\\nYour own organization’s coverage is a great place to get up to date, as is talking to any co-workers that have been involved in coverage of related topics, or those who may be familiar with the speaker in particular.\\nResearch both the topic, and the expected speaker in particular.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare a list of questions in advance.\", \"描述\": \"Particularly if the topic being covered is not immediately attention-grabbing, you and the other journalists may need to pull more information out of the speaker during the question and answer session than they volunteer. If you expect an announcement about something that could go one way or the other, prepare questions that would address the specifics of either scenario.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Arrive at the news conference early.\", \"描述\": \"This may benefit you in multiple ways. For one, your literal position in the room may prove to be the deciding factor in your getting the chance to ask a question. Further, arriving early allows the chance to speak with other journalists and maybe even conference organizers. \\nIdeally, shoot for a spot near where the speaker is sitting, or in the middle of the front row.\\nIf you are able to speak with a conference organizer, request the opportunity to speak with the speaker privately after the conference right off the bat. They may be planning to allow a few journalists a bit more nuanced perspective of a situation, and coming first to the table increases the chances you’ll get dessert.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take notes.\", \"描述\": \"News conferences can be fast-paced, so having notes handy as a reference can be helpful. On a notepad, jot down the important points the speaker makes and any word-by-word verbatim quotes that may be relevant to the story you intend to write or the interest of the organization you’re affiliated with. In particular, take note of points you hope are revisited, and consider questions that would dictate a more extensive response regarding these points. \\nGood notes will allow you to cite a speaker’s own words to them. For instance, you can later begin a question with “Earlier, you stated that _________, could you expand on that further or tell us explicitly what you meant be that?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen for what the speaker doesn’t say.\", \"描述\": \"Often, what a speaker chooses not to say is of equal importance to what they’ve said. The more familiar you are with the topic, the more likely you’ll be able to predict or look for certain types of comments, and know that their absence may also be significant.\\nFor instance, if you’re aware of a certain facet of the topic that you know should be addressed and is not, structure a question accordingly. You know there’s a reason it wasn’t brought up.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask for a private audience following the conference.\", \"描述\": \"Especially if you are affiliated with a reputable organization, it is always worth asking for the chance to speak with the speaker one on one after the conference. If they are hesitant to grant the audience, specify that you only have one question to ask. Further, specify that you have a question you’d rather not ask during the conference.\\nYou can even apply a bit of pressure to earn a private audience by implying or telling the speaker you know something that not everyone does, and you wish to discuss it discretely.\\nWhile this may backfire and risk coming off as brash, it may also intrigue a speaker enough to hear your question.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stay late.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you simply want to get your write-up to print as quickly as possible, hang around. This will increase the chances of seeing or hearing more than what was conveyed in the context of a formal news conference. The speaker may even be willing to speak casually with members of the press off the record, or speak further about topics unrelated to the topic of the press conference after it has concluded.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Different Types of Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask answerable questions.\", \"描述\": \"Most of the time, the most important criteria of your question is how likely it is to solicit a response with substance. Specificity is your ally in this regard; choose questions that are extremely answerable by explicitly addressing specifics. For example, great questions include requests for clarification regarding details of how, when, or where something occurred, or why someone is behaving in a certain manner.\\nDon’t ask a question you know the speaker will be unwilling or unable to answer. While this is a stunt often featured in video entertainment and perpetuated by activists, it’s a sure way to stop being allowed into press conferences.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid making comments.\", \"描述\": \"If you purpose to make a political statement, understand that this is an entirely different goal than asking a question. Your job is not to convince the speaker of anything, it’s to get information from them that you can report in your coverage. Any commentary, accordingly, belongs in your coverage, not during the question and answer session of a news conference. Comments risk understandably bothering the speaker as well as your fellow journalists, and, at best, will simply bore most of the others in the room.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask a courtesy question to start the question and answer session.\", \"描述\": \"If crickets greet the speaker when they’re finished speaking, and it seems no one intends to ask a question, you may want to lead with a softball pitch before asking the question you really want answered. Starting the session with something the speaker can easily and safely answer will ingratiate them with you, and increase the likelihood they give a more serious question more attention.\\nFor instance, ask for a quick clarification of a statement that was less clear when the speaker initially made it, allowing them to revisit something they prepared to speak on while reframing it in a way that may lead to additional information.\\nSimilarily, open-ended questions will allow the speaker to expand on something they may have forgoten to mention. Consider by starting with something like. “How do you feel about _____.” Open-ended questions will essentially allow a speaker to say whatever they want, which they will appreciate - as long as you don’t ask them too often.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask off-topic questions rarely, if at all.\", \"描述\": \"Questions at news conferences should be framed and informed by their relevance to the topic of the conference. If you have questions for the person unrelated to the topic of the news conference, it will likely be most effective to wait until the end of all the questions and ask it once the topic of the conference has been covered.\\nA good benchmark for deciding whether a question is appropriate to ask during a news conference is whether it will be of interest to a good amount of people in the room.\\nIn situations where you’re intentionally putting the speaker on the spot, understand that your question may not be answered, and you may simply be reducing the chances they or other speakers will call on you again in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid asking overly esoteric or fluffy questions.\", \"描述\": \"You want everyone in the room to understand your question, not just the speaker. Don’t try to demonstrate your knowledge of the topic - let the speaker do the talking. Similarily, avoid lingo and buzzwords too; this will allow the speaker to simply repeat any trending terminology back at you without actually saying anything.\\nWhen considering a potential question, make sure your phrasing either conveys a desire for a statement to be clarified, or for new information. This will ensure clarity and straightforwardness while diminishing unnecessary clauses or commentary.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,462 | How to Ask Better Questions to Get Information | 1. Plan questions ahead of time.
Jot down a few key points you want to cover so you stay on track.
Take a few minutes to organize your thoughts and write down a few things you want to cover. That way, you can guide the conversation without pausing or thinking of what to say next.
For example, if you’re taking a friend to the airport, some important questions you might ask include, “What time does your flight leave?” “How early would you like to get to the airport?” and “Where do you need to be dropped off?”
As another example, if you’re going into an interview, you might ask, “What is the company culture like?” “Where do you see the company in 5 years?” and “What duties can I expect that aren’t in the job description?”
When you’re actually talking to the person, it’s okay to follow the flow of the conversation into other topics, but always try to steer it back to the talking points you wrote down.
2. Tailor your questions to who you’re talking to.
Ask questions relating back to the person to get a more personal answer.
Vague questions can be a little overwhelming when people try to think of an answer. Choose a specific detail you know about the person to ask about instead. Since the question is targeted towards them, they’ll have an easier time answering honestly.
For example, asking “How did that meeting make you feel?” can refer to anything that happened in the meeting. A better question would be something like, “How did you feel after presenting to the district manager during the meeting?”
As another example, instead of asking, “What inspired your design?” you might try asking, “What inspired you to use the color blue throughout your work?”
3. Pose open-ended questions for more explanation.
Open-ended questions require longer and more detailed answers.
Use “what,” “how,” and “why” to start your questions so people can’t answer them with one-word answers. Since the person has to explain themselves more, their answers are more thorough and you’re less likely to make any judgments or assumptions from miscommunications. Some example open-ended questions include:
“How did the budget changes affect your daily workload?”
“Why did you choose this font for the project?”
“What were the most memorable moments from the evening?”
4. Use direct questions to confirm info.
Direct questions require simple answers and work best for establishing facts.
If you need a very decisive response, stick to questions that require a short, specific answer. Even though the other person won’t talk on the subject as much, it helps ensure you’re understanding the information correctly. Some direct questions you can try asking include:
“Were you the lead designer on this project?”
“When did you upload the files?”
“Who were you with when the accident happened?”
5. Open with a broad question on the topic.
Starting with a general question sets the tone for the conversation.
Rather than tackling a tough topic head-on, begin with some simple related questions to ease into the conversation. This makes everything less stressful at the start so you can build a repertoire with the other person and make them feel comfortable.
For example, you may start with questions like, “How did you get started at the company?” or “What are you most excited to do today?”
6. Follow up with more specific questions.
Try to learn something new with every question you ask.
Listen carefully to how the other person responds and try to pick out key details they mention. Instead of asking another vague question on the topic, use funnel questioning to ask about a specific point from the previous answer. That way, you keep working toward the clearest and most honest answer.
For example, if you’re asking about someone’s night, you might start with the question, “Where did you end up going last night?” If the person says they went out to a restaurant with friends, you might ask, “Who did you end up going with?” If they mention someone you don’t know, you could then ask, “Where do you know them from?”
As another example, if you could start with, “How did you contribute to the project?” Once they answer, you might ask, “What was the biggest challenge you had?” After that, you could ask, “What did you do to overcome the challenge and complete your task?”
7. Build up to sensitive topics.
People might feel uncomfortable talking openly right away.
Rather than jumping right into really personal or tough questions, ease the other person into the conversation first. Start out with some basic questions on the topic so you can get to know the person better and build a repertoire with them. Once the conversation flows easily, try peppering in a few tougher questions.
For example, if you’re asking about why someone was let go from work, you might start with questions like, “How did you like your job?” or “What did you do in your old position?” After you talk for a little while, you can ask “What did your boss say when you were let go?”
If the person still doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the subject, respect their privacy.
Some studies have shown that some people are more likely to open up if you start with the tough questions so you can get them out of the way.
8. Seek clarification if you need it.
Ask the person to explain more if something doesn’t make sense.
It’s okay if you don’t understand everything the person says right away, but mention that you need more details. You can say something like, “Can you explain that a little more?” or “What does that mean exactly?” so the person has a chance to fill you in on the information you’re missing.
Try repeating back what the person told you to confirm that you’ve understood it. This is also a great way to show the other person you were listening and care about what they said.
9. Ask one thing at a time.
Too many questions at once could muddle the other person’s answer.
Rather than stringing a bunch of questions together or asking something with a lot of layers, stick to one topic. Let the person answer completely before you ask them something else so they don’t get confused or miss an important point.
For example, asking, “What can we do to resolve this budgeting issue and how will it affect our customers?” could lead to a lot of talking points and be confusing. Instead, you might try asking, “What solutions have you tried for fixing the budget?” followed by “How does this solution affect our customers?”
10. Use a casual tone.
People are more willing to answer honestly if they feel comfortable with you.
If you sound a little uptight, the other person may close themselves off and withhold information. Keep your voice relaxed and upbeat so you sound friendlier. Tell the person that you’re just having a conversation and that they can change their responses too so they aren’t pressured to give a perfect answer every time.
For example, rather than asking, “What was the importance of adding that slide to the presentation?” you might instead ask, “What were you trying to cover on that last slide?”
As another example, instead of asking, “What emotions were you feeling during the climax of the game?” you may ask, “How did you feel during the final seconds?”
Use neutral language as well so you don’t sway their answer. For example, asking something like, “How much did you enjoy that party?” assumes the person already had fun. Try asking, “How did you feel about the party?”
11. Listen intently.
The person will open up when you show interest in them.
When the other person is responding to you, let them answer completely without interruption. Make eye contact with them and turn your body toward them so you look open and receptive. Lean in closer and smile to help the person feel more comfortable.
Try waiting a few seconds after they finish to speak up so you have more time to process what they said.
Tips
Give the other person time to answer so they don’t feel rushed. You’ll usually get a deeper and more thoughtful answer.[16]
X
Research source
Warnings
Steer away from leading questions since they can sway someone’s answer. For example, instead of asking, “How upset were you when that happened?” you could try something like, “How did you feel after that happened?”[17]
X
Research source
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Plan questions ahead of time.\\nJot down a few key points you want to cover so you stay on track.\\nTake a few minutes to organize your thoughts and write down a few things you want to cover. That way, you can guide the conversation without pausing or thinking of what to say next.\\nFor example, if you’re taking a friend to the airport, some important questions you might ask include, “What time does your flight leave?” “How early would you like to get to the airport?” and “Where do you need to be dropped off?”\\nAs another example, if you’re going into an interview, you might ask, “What is the company culture like?” “Where do you see the company in 5 years?” and “What duties can I expect that aren’t in the job description?”\\nWhen you’re actually talking to the person, it’s okay to follow the flow of the conversation into other topics, but always try to steer it back to the talking points you wrote down.\\n2. Tailor your questions to who you’re talking to.\\nAsk questions relating back to the person to get a more personal answer.\\nVague questions can be a little overwhelming when people try to think of an answer. Choose a specific detail you know about the person to ask about instead. Since the question is targeted towards them, they’ll have an easier time answering honestly.\\nFor example, asking “How did that meeting make you feel?” can refer to anything that happened in the meeting. A better question would be something like, “How did you feel after presenting to the district manager during the meeting?”\\nAs another example, instead of asking, “What inspired your design?” you might try asking, “What inspired you to use the color blue throughout your work?”\\n3. Pose open-ended questions for more explanation.\\nOpen-ended questions require longer and more detailed answers.\\nUse “what,” “how,” and “why” to start your questions so people can’t answer them with one-word answers. Since the person has to explain themselves more, their answers are more thorough and you’re less likely to make any judgments or assumptions from miscommunications. Some example open-ended questions include:\\n“How did the budget changes affect your daily workload?”\\n“Why did you choose this font for the project?”\\n“What were the most memorable moments from the evening?”\\n4. Use direct questions to confirm info.\\nDirect questions require simple answers and work best for establishing facts.\\nIf you need a very decisive response, stick to questions that require a short, specific answer. Even though the other person won’t talk on the subject as much, it helps ensure you’re understanding the information correctly. Some direct questions you can try asking include:\\n“Were you the lead designer on this project?”\\n“When did you upload the files?”\\n“Who were you with when the accident happened?”\\n5. Open with a broad question on the topic.\\nStarting with a general question sets the tone for the conversation.\\nRather than tackling a tough topic head-on, begin with some simple related questions to ease into the conversation. This makes everything less stressful at the start so you can build a repertoire with the other person and make them feel comfortable.\\nFor example, you may start with questions like, “How did you get started at the company?” or “What are you most excited to do today?”\\n6. Follow up with more specific questions.\\nTry to learn something new with every question you ask.\\nListen carefully to how the other person responds and try to pick out key details they mention. Instead of asking another vague question on the topic, use funnel questioning to ask about a specific point from the previous answer. That way, you keep working toward the clearest and most honest answer.\\nFor example, if you’re asking about someone’s night, you might start with the question, “Where did you end up going last night?” If the person says they went out to a restaurant with friends, you might ask, “Who did you end up going with?” If they mention someone you don’t know, you could then ask, “Where do you know them from?”\\nAs another example, if you could start with, “How did you contribute to the project?” Once they answer, you might ask, “What was the biggest challenge you had?” After that, you could ask, “What did you do to overcome the challenge and complete your task?”\\n7. Build up to sensitive topics.\\nPeople might feel uncomfortable talking openly right away.\\nRather than jumping right into really personal or tough questions, ease the other person into the conversation first. Start out with some basic questions on the topic so you can get to know the person better and build a repertoire with them. Once the conversation flows easily, try peppering in a few tougher questions.\\nFor example, if you’re asking about why someone was let go from work, you might start with questions like, “How did you like your job?” or “What did you do in your old position?” After you talk for a little while, you can ask “What did your boss say when you were let go?”\\nIf the person still doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the subject, respect their privacy.\\nSome studies have shown that some people are more likely to open up if you start with the tough questions so you can get them out of the way.\\n8. Seek clarification if you need it.\\nAsk the person to explain more if something doesn’t make sense.\\nIt’s okay if you don’t understand everything the person says right away, but mention that you need more details. You can say something like, “Can you explain that a little more?” or “What does that mean exactly?” so the person has a chance to fill you in on the information you’re missing.\\nTry repeating back what the person told you to confirm that you’ve understood it. This is also a great way to show the other person you were listening and care about what they said.\\n9. Ask one thing at a time.\\nToo many questions at once could muddle the other person’s answer.\\nRather than stringing a bunch of questions together or asking something with a lot of layers, stick to one topic. Let the person answer completely before you ask them something else so they don’t get confused or miss an important point.\\nFor example, asking, “What can we do to resolve this budgeting issue and how will it affect our customers?” could lead to a lot of talking points and be confusing. Instead, you might try asking, “What solutions have you tried for fixing the budget?” followed by “How does this solution affect our customers?”\\n10. Use a casual tone.\\nPeople are more willing to answer honestly if they feel comfortable with you.\\nIf you sound a little uptight, the other person may close themselves off and withhold information. Keep your voice relaxed and upbeat so you sound friendlier. Tell the person that you’re just having a conversation and that they can change their responses too so they aren’t pressured to give a perfect answer every time.\\nFor example, rather than asking, “What was the importance of adding that slide to the presentation?” you might instead ask, “What were you trying to cover on that last slide?”\\nAs another example, instead of asking, “What emotions were you feeling during the climax of the game?” you may ask, “How did you feel during the final seconds?”\\nUse neutral language as well so you don’t sway their answer. For example, asking something like, “How much did you enjoy that party?” assumes the person already had fun. Try asking, “How did you feel about the party?”\\n11. Listen intently.\\nThe person will open up when you show interest in them.\\nWhen the other person is responding to you, let them answer completely without interruption. Make eye contact with them and turn your body toward them so you look open and receptive. Lean in closer and smile to help the person feel more comfortable.\\nTry waiting a few seconds after they finish to speak up so you have more time to process what they said.\\nTips\\nGive the other person time to answer so they don’t feel rushed. You’ll usually get a deeper and more thoughtful answer.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nSteer away from leading questions since they can sway someone’s answer. For example, instead of asking, “How upset were you when that happened?” you could try something like, “How did you feel after that happened?”[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re trying to get a more detailed answer from someone, it’s important to ask them clear and concise questions. When you want a more thorough answer, you’ll have to structure your questions a little differently to get the info you want. We've put together a list of the best ways to pose your questions and how to encourage people to give the most informative responses.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan questions ahead of time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Jot down a few key points you want to cover so you stay on track.\", \"描述\": \"Take a few minutes to organize your thoughts and write down a few things you want to cover. That way, you can guide the conversation without pausing or thinking of what to say next.\\nFor example, if you’re taking a friend to the airport, some important questions you might ask include, “What time does your flight leave?” “How early would you like to get to the airport?” and “Where do you need to be dropped off?”\\nAs another example, if you’re going into an interview, you might ask, “What is the company culture like?” “Where do you see the company in 5 years?” and “What duties can I expect that aren’t in the job description?”\\nWhen you’re actually talking to the person, it’s okay to follow the flow of the conversation into other topics, but always try to steer it back to the talking points you wrote down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tailor your questions to who you’re talking to.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask questions relating back to the person to get a more personal answer.\", \"描述\": \"Vague questions can be a little overwhelming when people try to think of an answer. Choose a specific detail you know about the person to ask about instead. Since the question is targeted towards them, they’ll have an easier time answering honestly.\\nFor example, asking “How did that meeting make you feel?” can refer to anything that happened in the meeting. A better question would be something like, “How did you feel after presenting to the district manager during the meeting?”\\nAs another example, instead of asking, “What inspired your design?” you might try asking, “What inspired you to use the color blue throughout your work?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pose open-ended questions for more explanation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open-ended questions require longer and more detailed answers.\", \"描述\": \"Use “what,” “how,” and “why” to start your questions so people can’t answer them with one-word answers. Since the person has to explain themselves more, their answers are more thorough and you’re less likely to make any judgments or assumptions from miscommunications. Some example open-ended questions include:\\n“How did the budget changes affect your daily workload?”\\n“Why did you choose this font for the project?”\\n“What were the most memorable moments from the evening?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use direct questions to confirm info.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Direct questions require simple answers and work best for establishing facts.\", \"描述\": \"If you need a very decisive response, stick to questions that require a short, specific answer. Even though the other person won’t talk on the subject as much, it helps ensure you’re understanding the information correctly. Some direct questions you can try asking include:\\n“Were you the lead designer on this project?”\\n“When did you upload the files?”\\n“Who were you with when the accident happened?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Open with a broad question on the topic.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting with a general question sets the tone for the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than tackling a tough topic head-on, begin with some simple related questions to ease into the conversation. This makes everything less stressful at the start so you can build a repertoire with the other person and make them feel comfortable.\\nFor example, you may start with questions like, “How did you get started at the company?” or “What are you most excited to do today?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Follow up with more specific questions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to learn something new with every question you ask.\", \"描述\": \"Listen carefully to how the other person responds and try to pick out key details they mention. Instead of asking another vague question on the topic, use funnel questioning to ask about a specific point from the previous answer. That way, you keep working toward the clearest and most honest answer.\\nFor example, if you’re asking about someone’s night, you might start with the question, “Where did you end up going last night?” If the person says they went out to a restaurant with friends, you might ask, “Who did you end up going with?” If they mention someone you don’t know, you could then ask, “Where do you know them from?”\\nAs another example, if you could start with, “How did you contribute to the project?” Once they answer, you might ask, “What was the biggest challenge you had?” After that, you could ask, “What did you do to overcome the challenge and complete your task?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Build up to sensitive topics.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"People might feel uncomfortable talking openly right away.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than jumping right into really personal or tough questions, ease the other person into the conversation first. Start out with some basic questions on the topic so you can get to know the person better and build a repertoire with them. Once the conversation flows easily, try peppering in a few tougher questions.\\nFor example, if you’re asking about why someone was let go from work, you might start with questions like, “How did you like your job?” or “What did you do in your old position?” After you talk for a little while, you can ask “What did your boss say when you were let go?”\\nIf the person still doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the subject, respect their privacy.\\nSome studies have shown that some people are more likely to open up if you start with the tough questions so you can get them out of the way.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Seek clarification if you need it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask the person to explain more if something doesn’t make sense.\", \"描述\": \"It’s okay if you don’t understand everything the person says right away, but mention that you need more details. You can say something like, “Can you explain that a little more?” or “What does that mean exactly?” so the person has a chance to fill you in on the information you’re missing.\\nTry repeating back what the person told you to confirm that you’ve understood it. This is also a great way to show the other person you were listening and care about what they said.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Ask one thing at a time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Too many questions at once could muddle the other person’s answer.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than stringing a bunch of questions together or asking something with a lot of layers, stick to one topic. Let the person answer completely before you ask them something else so they don’t get confused or miss an important point.\\nFor example, asking, “What can we do to resolve this budgeting issue and how will it affect our customers?” could lead to a lot of talking points and be confusing. Instead, you might try asking, “What solutions have you tried for fixing the budget?” followed by “How does this solution affect our customers?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Use a casual tone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"People are more willing to answer honestly if they feel comfortable with you.\", \"描述\": \"If you sound a little uptight, the other person may close themselves off and withhold information. Keep your voice relaxed and upbeat so you sound friendlier. Tell the person that you’re just having a conversation and that they can change their responses too so they aren’t pressured to give a perfect answer every time.\\nFor example, rather than asking, “What was the importance of adding that slide to the presentation?” you might instead ask, “What were you trying to cover on that last slide?”\\nAs another example, instead of asking, “What emotions were you feeling during the climax of the game?” you may ask, “How did you feel during the final seconds?”\\nUse neutral language as well so you don’t sway their answer. For example, asking something like, “How much did you enjoy that party?” assumes the person already had fun. Try asking, “How did you feel about the party?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Listen intently.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The person will open up when you show interest in them.\", \"描述\": \"When the other person is responding to you, let them answer completely without interruption. Make eye contact with them and turn your body toward them so you look open and receptive. Lean in closer and smile to help the person feel more comfortable.\\nTry waiting a few seconds after they finish to speak up so you have more time to process what they said.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Give the other person time to answer so they don’t feel rushed. You’ll usually get a deeper and more thoughtful answer.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Steer away from leading questions since they can sway someone’s answer. For example, instead of asking, “How upset were you when that happened?” you could try something like, “How did you feel after that happened?”[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,463 | How to Ask Rich People for Money | 1. Planning Your Donation Request
1-1. Compile a list of donors.
Before you begin asking for money, it's best to have an idea of who you're going to ask for donations. If you're going door-to-door, that may be as simple as deciding which neighborhood(s) to work in. If you're soliciting donations by phone or by mail, though, you'll need a list of prospective donors to contact.
If you can identify past donors on your list of people to call or write to, you may want to prioritize those individuals as "best bets" - these are people who, given their history of donating in the past, will most likely contribute again to your cause.
Try to identify which people on your list are the most financially stable. You can do this by interacting with the individual to get a sense of his or her finances, or if going door-to-door, look at the houses residents live in and the cars in their driveways. People with large, elaborate homes or flashy sports cars most likely have more disposable income. (Though of course this doesn't guarantee that they will give donations.)
You can also look for potential donors by their other areas of spending. For example, does the prospective donor attend fundraisers for other organizations or individuals? If so, that prospective donor probably has the means to donate to your organization, if properly persuaded.
Consider using analytical software and services, such as Donor Search, to identify which potential donors are more wealthy and more likely to donate.
Remember to think "ABC" when identifying donors: Able to make a gift, Belief (known or potential) in your cause, and Contact/Connection with your organization.
1-2. Get to know your donors.
If your organization has dealt with donors in the past, you or a colleague will probably know what strategies work best in making your appeal. Some people want to know how the money from last year was spent, while others may simply want to know how much is needed. Certain donors may have fears or reservations about donating, and it's important to learn to recognize those fears/reservations so you can address them in advance.
Some donors may need to hear particular terms or phrases in order to be persuaded to donate. If you know this to be the case, make some indication of this on your list so that when you call or approach that person, you'll know what to say.
Any time a donor seems reluctant to give but gives anyway, make a note of that situation on your list or in that donor's file (if you have one). Listen to what the individual says when he or she is reluctant, and try to find ways to assuage those fears - not just for this year's fundraiser, but for future years as well.
Be aware that many well-known philanthropists hire other individuals to manage donations and contributions. Because of this, you may not get to speak to the actual donor himself/herself. However, the employees hired by a philanthropist probably have the same concerns that the philanthropist does, and you may have some luck appealing to the philanthropist's interests through his or her employees.
1-3. Find ways to present your organization.
People who have donated to your organization will no doubt be familiar with who you are (as an organization) and what you do. But what about people who have never donated before? How will you describe what you do to an outsider? This is important, as it may determine whether the individual will listen to the rest of your pitch. If possible, try to compile some data on what your organization has done in the past, the problems you hope to address after this fundraising drive, and how that prospective donation would help your cause.
Try to present your organization in a way that both explains what you do while also highlighting the issue you seek to change. For example, you might say something like, "Did you know that [the issue your organization addresses] affects a significant portion of the city, and we are the only organization solely committed to addressing these issues in a comprehensive way?"
It's not a requirement to have data compiled, but for individuals who aren't familiar with your organization, it may be very helpful to know that information.
Consider printing out a brochure or having a reusable chart to illustrate both the improvements you've made and the improvements you hope to make.
Think about what you might say if someone doesn't understand your organization's goals, or what you might say if someone was dismissive of your organization. Try putting yourself in those shoes - imagining that you were someone who didn't want to help the organization - and what you might say to the organization. Then imagine how you might respond to hearing those words.
The better your donor base understands your organization - and the better you understand your donors - the more likely you'll be to build a long-term relationship with that donor.
1-4. Practice your appeal.
One of the best things you can do to strengthen your appeal for donations is to practice what you're going to say. That doesn't just mean knowing how to actually ask for money, but also knowing how to initiate the conversation, practicing scenarios, anticipating potential responses, and knowing how to direct (or re-direct) the conversation.
Remember that the best appeal will educate the potential donor, rather than making a simple sales pitch.
Practice your appeal out loud. Get comfortable with the speech, and learn to adapt it to your own style of speaking. Make it your own speech, and try to make it feel comfortable and unrehearsed (even though this may take a lot of rehearsal).
Practice in front of a mirror if you will be interacting with donors face-to-face.
Try recording yourself, either with a tape recorder or on video, and study your mannerisms and your speech patterns. Does it sound honest? Do your vocal patterns and your physical mannerisms communicate the message of your organization, and the urgency of what you're trying to solve?
2. Asking for Donations
2-1. Start a conversation.
Don't just call and start running in with your pitch. Work on creating a dialogue with the potential donor, which may mean making some polite small talk at the start. It can be as simple as asking the person how his or her day is going. Anything to start a conversation should help disarm the individual, and make the person realize that you're a caring and concerned member of the community.
If the prospective donor is a known philanthropist, he or she may prefer to have someone who heads the foundation ask for a donation. Statistically, donors are more likely to give money to a recognizable figure affiliated with an organization, rather than to a fundraiser who contacts them on the organization's behalf.
Initiate the conversation by getting the prospective donor to acknowledge an existing problem. If you're raising money for a local organization, you might open the conversation by asking what he or she thinks is the greatest crisis facing your region.
2-2. Make your intentions known.
You shouldn't just introduce yourself by asking for money, but you should make your intentions known near the end of your small talk. Start by asking how the person is doing, or commenting on the weather, and then use that as a lead-in to say, "I'm working with _______, and we're trying to help _______ be able to ________."
If the individual feels like you're just having an aimless conversation and then suddenly he or she is asked for money, it may create tension and cause the person to feel like you're shaking them down. Be calm, friendly, and casual, but don't drag your feet about making it clear that you have a purpose.
2-3. Let the other person speak.
Chances are, if you launch into your usual appeal to a person on the street who's never donated before, that person will walk away. But if you have created a dialogue, and made room for the other person to speak, you may be able to get that individual to feel engaged and a part of the solution.
Try asking a question. Say something like, "What do you think is the biggest problem our community faces?" Once the person has answered, instead of simply saying, "Yes, you're right. Will you consider donating?" try a more nuanced approach. After the person says what he or she sees as the problem, just say, "How interesting!" and keep silent while remaining interested.
People fear silence, and the person will probably fill that gap by elaborating on why that issue is important. That potential donor may go on to talk about how a family member has been affected by those issues. This gives you an in to take the specific concern he/she has and run with it. It's no longer an abstract concern, but a specific problem that may have affected the individual personally.
2-4. Make a specific request.
If you leave a donation appeal open-ended, the person may not end up donating, or may only give a few dollars. But if you ask for a specific amount, it takes a lot of guess work out of the equation for that individual, and makes it easier to commit to your request. For example, if the person seems interested, say something like, "Well, we can make a difference. For just _____ dollars, you can help accomplish ___________."
Another way to ask for a specific amount is to put the ball in their court. Ask something like, "Would you consider a gift of _____?" or "Is ______ something you'd be willing to consider to help tackle the problem of __________?"
2-5. Be persistent.
Many people will say no right off the bat, but others may simply need to be persuaded a bit more. Perhaps someone might say that the amount you requested is too high. If that happens, let the person know that any donation amount would be a big help, and ask if there's a slightly lower amount that the person would be willing/able to donate.
Don't be aggressive with your appeal, but do be insistent that your cause is worthy and that any donation amount would help that cause.
2-6. Thank the person either way.
If the individual is willing to donate, then it's cause for celebration. You can thank the person and let him or her know that that donation will go a long way towards solving or addressing the issue at hand. But even if the person is not interested in donating, you should still be polite and appreciative of their time. Simply say, "Well, thank you for your time and have a wonderful day."
Expressing gratitude and courtesy can go a long way. Just because someone isn't interested in donating, that doesn't mean the situation won't change. Perhaps next year the people who said no will have heard or read more about your organization, or perhaps the individual will have been personally affected by the issue you're seeking to address. Making a good impression now, even when turned down, may be what helps you get a donation next year.
2-7. Follow up with donors.
If someone gave a donation, you should absolutely express gratitude. Send the donor a thank-you letter and a gift receipt (in case they want to write it off on their taxes or simply have a record of the donation). It's best to send these items as quickly as possible so that the donor knows that the contribution was greatly appreciated and will be put to good use.
Tips
Many people are more motivated to help you with money if they sympathize with your goals or interests. Try to tailor your appeal to each individual donor, based on how that donor seems to respond to the issues you address.
Always send a thank-you note to your donors, regardless of how much they sent you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Planning Your Donation Request\\n1-1. Compile a list of donors.\\nBefore you begin asking for money, it's best to have an idea of who you're going to ask for donations. If you're going door-to-door, that may be as simple as deciding which neighborhood(s) to work in. If you're soliciting donations by phone or by mail, though, you'll need a list of prospective donors to contact.\\nIf you can identify past donors on your list of people to call or write to, you may want to prioritize those individuals as \\\"best bets\\\" - these are people who, given their history of donating in the past, will most likely contribute again to your cause.\\nTry to identify which people on your list are the most financially stable. You can do this by interacting with the individual to get a sense of his or her finances, or if going door-to-door, look at the houses residents live in and the cars in their driveways. People with large, elaborate homes or flashy sports cars most likely have more disposable income. (Though of course this doesn't guarantee that they will give donations.)\\nYou can also look for potential donors by their other areas of spending. For example, does the prospective donor attend fundraisers for other organizations or individuals? If so, that prospective donor probably has the means to donate to your organization, if properly persuaded.\\nConsider using analytical software and services, such as Donor Search, to identify which potential donors are more wealthy and more likely to donate.\\nRemember to think \\\"ABC\\\" when identifying donors: Able to make a gift, Belief (known or potential) in your cause, and Contact/Connection with your organization.\\n1-2. Get to know your donors.\\nIf your organization has dealt with donors in the past, you or a colleague will probably know what strategies work best in making your appeal. Some people want to know how the money from last year was spent, while others may simply want to know how much is needed. Certain donors may have fears or reservations about donating, and it's important to learn to recognize those fears/reservations so you can address them in advance.\\nSome donors may need to hear particular terms or phrases in order to be persuaded to donate. If you know this to be the case, make some indication of this on your list so that when you call or approach that person, you'll know what to say.\\nAny time a donor seems reluctant to give but gives anyway, make a note of that situation on your list or in that donor's file (if you have one). Listen to what the individual says when he or she is reluctant, and try to find ways to assuage those fears - not just for this year's fundraiser, but for future years as well.\\nBe aware that many well-known philanthropists hire other individuals to manage donations and contributions. Because of this, you may not get to speak to the actual donor himself/herself. However, the employees hired by a philanthropist probably have the same concerns that the philanthropist does, and you may have some luck appealing to the philanthropist's interests through his or her employees.\\n1-3. Find ways to present your organization.\\nPeople who have donated to your organization will no doubt be familiar with who you are (as an organization) and what you do. But what about people who have never donated before? How will you describe what you do to an outsider? This is important, as it may determine whether the individual will listen to the rest of your pitch. If possible, try to compile some data on what your organization has done in the past, the problems you hope to address after this fundraising drive, and how that prospective donation would help your cause.\\nTry to present your organization in a way that both explains what you do while also highlighting the issue you seek to change. For example, you might say something like, \\\"Did you know that [the issue your organization addresses] affects a significant portion of the city, and we are the only organization solely committed to addressing these issues in a comprehensive way?\\\"\\nIt's not a requirement to have data compiled, but for individuals who aren't familiar with your organization, it may be very helpful to know that information.\\nConsider printing out a brochure or having a reusable chart to illustrate both the improvements you've made and the improvements you hope to make.\\nThink about what you might say if someone doesn't understand your organization's goals, or what you might say if someone was dismissive of your organization. Try putting yourself in those shoes - imagining that you were someone who didn't want to help the organization - and what you might say to the organization. Then imagine how you might respond to hearing those words.\\nThe better your donor base understands your organization - and the better you understand your donors - the more likely you'll be to build a long-term relationship with that donor.\\n1-4. Practice your appeal.\\nOne of the best things you can do to strengthen your appeal for donations is to practice what you're going to say. That doesn't just mean knowing how to actually ask for money, but also knowing how to initiate the conversation, practicing scenarios, anticipating potential responses, and knowing how to direct (or re-direct) the conversation.\\nRemember that the best appeal will educate the potential donor, rather than making a simple sales pitch.\\nPractice your appeal out loud. Get comfortable with the speech, and learn to adapt it to your own style of speaking. Make it your own speech, and try to make it feel comfortable and unrehearsed (even though this may take a lot of rehearsal).\\nPractice in front of a mirror if you will be interacting with donors face-to-face.\\nTry recording yourself, either with a tape recorder or on video, and study your mannerisms and your speech patterns. Does it sound honest? Do your vocal patterns and your physical mannerisms communicate the message of your organization, and the urgency of what you're trying to solve?\\n2. Asking for Donations\\n2-1. Start a conversation.\\nDon't just call and start running in with your pitch. Work on creating a dialogue with the potential donor, which may mean making some polite small talk at the start. It can be as simple as asking the person how his or her day is going. Anything to start a conversation should help disarm the individual, and make the person realize that you're a caring and concerned member of the community.\\nIf the prospective donor is a known philanthropist, he or she may prefer to have someone who heads the foundation ask for a donation. Statistically, donors are more likely to give money to a recognizable figure affiliated with an organization, rather than to a fundraiser who contacts them on the organization's behalf.\\nInitiate the conversation by getting the prospective donor to acknowledge an existing problem. If you're raising money for a local organization, you might open the conversation by asking what he or she thinks is the greatest crisis facing your region.\\n2-2. Make your intentions known.\\nYou shouldn't just introduce yourself by asking for money, but you should make your intentions known near the end of your small talk. Start by asking how the person is doing, or commenting on the weather, and then use that as a lead-in to say, \\\"I'm working with _______, and we're trying to help _______ be able to ________.\\\"\\nIf the individual feels like you're just having an aimless conversation and then suddenly he or she is asked for money, it may create tension and cause the person to feel like you're shaking them down. Be calm, friendly, and casual, but don't drag your feet about making it clear that you have a purpose.\\n2-3. Let the other person speak.\\nChances are, if you launch into your usual appeal to a person on the street who's never donated before, that person will walk away. But if you have created a dialogue, and made room for the other person to speak, you may be able to get that individual to feel engaged and a part of the solution.\\nTry asking a question. Say something like, \\\"What do you think is the biggest problem our community faces?\\\" Once the person has answered, instead of simply saying, \\\"Yes, you're right. Will you consider donating?\\\" try a more nuanced approach. After the person says what he or she sees as the problem, just say, \\\"How interesting!\\\" and keep silent while remaining interested.\\nPeople fear silence, and the person will probably fill that gap by elaborating on why that issue is important. That potential donor may go on to talk about how a family member has been affected by those issues. This gives you an in to take the specific concern he/she has and run with it. It's no longer an abstract concern, but a specific problem that may have affected the individual personally.\\n2-4. Make a specific request.\\nIf you leave a donation appeal open-ended, the person may not end up donating, or may only give a few dollars. But if you ask for a specific amount, it takes a lot of guess work out of the equation for that individual, and makes it easier to commit to your request. For example, if the person seems interested, say something like, \\\"Well, we can make a difference. For just _____ dollars, you can help accomplish ___________.\\\"\\nAnother way to ask for a specific amount is to put the ball in their court. Ask something like, \\\"Would you consider a gift of _____?\\\" or \\\"Is ______ something you'd be willing to consider to help tackle the problem of __________?\\\"\\n2-5. Be persistent.\\nMany people will say no right off the bat, but others may simply need to be persuaded a bit more. Perhaps someone might say that the amount you requested is too high. If that happens, let the person know that any donation amount would be a big help, and ask if there's a slightly lower amount that the person would be willing/able to donate.\\nDon't be aggressive with your appeal, but do be insistent that your cause is worthy and that any donation amount would help that cause.\\n2-6. Thank the person either way.\\nIf the individual is willing to donate, then it's cause for celebration. You can thank the person and let him or her know that that donation will go a long way towards solving or addressing the issue at hand. But even if the person is not interested in donating, you should still be polite and appreciative of their time. Simply say, \\\"Well, thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.\\\"\\nExpressing gratitude and courtesy can go a long way. Just because someone isn't interested in donating, that doesn't mean the situation won't change. Perhaps next year the people who said no will have heard or read more about your organization, or perhaps the individual will have been personally affected by the issue you're seeking to address. Making a good impression now, even when turned down, may be what helps you get a donation next year.\\n2-7. Follow up with donors.\\nIf someone gave a donation, you should absolutely express gratitude. Send the donor a thank-you letter and a gift receipt (in case they want to write it off on their taxes or simply have a record of the donation). It's best to send these items as quickly as possible so that the donor knows that the contribution was greatly appreciated and will be put to good use.\\nTips\\nMany people are more motivated to help you with money if they sympathize with your goals or interests. Try to tailor your appeal to each individual donor, based on how that donor seems to respond to the issues you address.\\nAlways send a thank-you note to your donors, regardless of how much they sent you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Fundraising for charity is an important part of any nonprofit group's work. In the U.S. alone, donors gave almost $287 billion in 2011. Many people who work for nonprofits feel uncomfortable asking donors for money, but without their help most nonprofit groups would not be able to carry out their missions. Learning how to effectively and respectfully ask wealthy individuals for money can help you ensure your charity or favorite nonprofit, federally recognized as 501 (c) (3), group prospers and is able to help those in need.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Planning Your Donation Request\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compile a list of donors.\", \"描述\": \"Before you begin asking for money, it's best to have an idea of who you're going to ask for donations. If you're going door-to-door, that may be as simple as deciding which neighborhood(s) to work in. If you're soliciting donations by phone or by mail, though, you'll need a list of prospective donors to contact.\\nIf you can identify past donors on your list of people to call or write to, you may want to prioritize those individuals as \\\"best bets\\\" - these are people who, given their history of donating in the past, will most likely contribute again to your cause.\\nTry to identify which people on your list are the most financially stable. You can do this by interacting with the individual to get a sense of his or her finances, or if going door-to-door, look at the houses residents live in and the cars in their driveways. People with large, elaborate homes or flashy sports cars most likely have more disposable income. (Though of course this doesn't guarantee that they will give donations.)\\nYou can also look for potential donors by their other areas of spending. For example, does the prospective donor attend fundraisers for other organizations or individuals? If so, that prospective donor probably has the means to donate to your organization, if properly persuaded.\\nConsider using analytical software and services, such as Donor Search, to identify which potential donors are more wealthy and more likely to donate.\\nRemember to think \\\"ABC\\\" when identifying donors: Able to make a gift, Belief (known or potential) in your cause, and Contact/Connection with your organization.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get to know your donors.\", \"描述\": \"If your organization has dealt with donors in the past, you or a colleague will probably know what strategies work best in making your appeal. Some people want to know how the money from last year was spent, while others may simply want to know how much is needed. Certain donors may have fears or reservations about donating, and it's important to learn to recognize those fears/reservations so you can address them in advance.\\nSome donors may need to hear particular terms or phrases in order to be persuaded to donate. If you know this to be the case, make some indication of this on your list so that when you call or approach that person, you'll know what to say.\\nAny time a donor seems reluctant to give but gives anyway, make a note of that situation on your list or in that donor's file (if you have one). Listen to what the individual says when he or she is reluctant, and try to find ways to assuage those fears - not just for this year's fundraiser, but for future years as well.\\nBe aware that many well-known philanthropists hire other individuals to manage donations and contributions. Because of this, you may not get to speak to the actual donor himself/herself. However, the employees hired by a philanthropist probably have the same concerns that the philanthropist does, and you may have some luck appealing to the philanthropist's interests through his or her employees.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find ways to present your organization.\", \"描述\": \"People who have donated to your organization will no doubt be familiar with who you are (as an organization) and what you do. But what about people who have never donated before? How will you describe what you do to an outsider? This is important, as it may determine whether the individual will listen to the rest of your pitch. If possible, try to compile some data on what your organization has done in the past, the problems you hope to address after this fundraising drive, and how that prospective donation would help your cause.\\nTry to present your organization in a way that both explains what you do while also highlighting the issue you seek to change. For example, you might say something like, \\\"Did you know that [the issue your organization addresses] affects a significant portion of the city, and we are the only organization solely committed to addressing these issues in a comprehensive way?\\\"\\nIt's not a requirement to have data compiled, but for individuals who aren't familiar with your organization, it may be very helpful to know that information.\\nConsider printing out a brochure or having a reusable chart to illustrate both the improvements you've made and the improvements you hope to make.\\nThink about what you might say if someone doesn't understand your organization's goals, or what you might say if someone was dismissive of your organization. Try putting yourself in those shoes - imagining that you were someone who didn't want to help the organization - and what you might say to the organization. Then imagine how you might respond to hearing those words.\\nThe better your donor base understands your organization - and the better you understand your donors - the more likely you'll be to build a long-term relationship with that donor.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice your appeal.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best things you can do to strengthen your appeal for donations is to practice what you're going to say. That doesn't just mean knowing how to actually ask for money, but also knowing how to initiate the conversation, practicing scenarios, anticipating potential responses, and knowing how to direct (or re-direct) the conversation.\\nRemember that the best appeal will educate the potential donor, rather than making a simple sales pitch.\\nPractice your appeal out loud. Get comfortable with the speech, and learn to adapt it to your own style of speaking. Make it your own speech, and try to make it feel comfortable and unrehearsed (even though this may take a lot of rehearsal).\\nPractice in front of a mirror if you will be interacting with donors face-to-face.\\nTry recording yourself, either with a tape recorder or on video, and study your mannerisms and your speech patterns. Does it sound honest? Do your vocal patterns and your physical mannerisms communicate the message of your organization, and the urgency of what you're trying to solve?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking for Donations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just call and start running in with your pitch. Work on creating a dialogue with the potential donor, which may mean making some polite small talk at the start. It can be as simple as asking the person how his or her day is going. Anything to start a conversation should help disarm the individual, and make the person realize that you're a caring and concerned member of the community.\\nIf the prospective donor is a known philanthropist, he or she may prefer to have someone who heads the foundation ask for a donation. Statistically, donors are more likely to give money to a recognizable figure affiliated with an organization, rather than to a fundraiser who contacts them on the organization's behalf.\\nInitiate the conversation by getting the prospective donor to acknowledge an existing problem. If you're raising money for a local organization, you might open the conversation by asking what he or she thinks is the greatest crisis facing your region.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make your intentions known.\", \"描述\": \"You shouldn't just introduce yourself by asking for money, but you should make your intentions known near the end of your small talk. Start by asking how the person is doing, or commenting on the weather, and then use that as a lead-in to say, \\\"I'm working with _______, and we're trying to help _______ be able to ________.\\\"\\nIf the individual feels like you're just having an aimless conversation and then suddenly he or she is asked for money, it may create tension and cause the person to feel like you're shaking them down. Be calm, friendly, and casual, but don't drag your feet about making it clear that you have a purpose.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let the other person speak.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are, if you launch into your usual appeal to a person on the street who's never donated before, that person will walk away. But if you have created a dialogue, and made room for the other person to speak, you may be able to get that individual to feel engaged and a part of the solution.\\nTry asking a question. Say something like, \\\"What do you think is the biggest problem our community faces?\\\" Once the person has answered, instead of simply saying, \\\"Yes, you're right. Will you consider donating?\\\" try a more nuanced approach. After the person says what he or she sees as the problem, just say, \\\"How interesting!\\\" and keep silent while remaining interested.\\nPeople fear silence, and the person will probably fill that gap by elaborating on why that issue is important. That potential donor may go on to talk about how a family member has been affected by those issues. This gives you an in to take the specific concern he/she has and run with it. It's no longer an abstract concern, but a specific problem that may have affected the individual personally.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a specific request.\", \"描述\": \"If you leave a donation appeal open-ended, the person may not end up donating, or may only give a few dollars. But if you ask for a specific amount, it takes a lot of guess work out of the equation for that individual, and makes it easier to commit to your request. For example, if the person seems interested, say something like, \\\"Well, we can make a difference. For just _____ dollars, you can help accomplish ___________.\\\"\\nAnother way to ask for a specific amount is to put the ball in their court. Ask something like, \\\"Would you consider a gift of _____?\\\" or \\\"Is ______ something you'd be willing to consider to help tackle the problem of __________?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be persistent.\", \"描述\": \"Many people will say no right off the bat, but others may simply need to be persuaded a bit more. Perhaps someone might say that the amount you requested is too high. If that happens, let the person know that any donation amount would be a big help, and ask if there's a slightly lower amount that the person would be willing/able to donate.\\nDon't be aggressive with your appeal, but do be insistent that your cause is worthy and that any donation amount would help that cause.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Thank the person either way.\", \"描述\": \"If the individual is willing to donate, then it's cause for celebration. You can thank the person and let him or her know that that donation will go a long way towards solving or addressing the issue at hand. But even if the person is not interested in donating, you should still be polite and appreciative of their time. Simply say, \\\"Well, thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.\\\"\\nExpressing gratitude and courtesy can go a long way. Just because someone isn't interested in donating, that doesn't mean the situation won't change. Perhaps next year the people who said no will have heard or read more about your organization, or perhaps the individual will have been personally affected by the issue you're seeking to address. Making a good impression now, even when turned down, may be what helps you get a donation next year.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Follow up with donors.\", \"描述\": \"If someone gave a donation, you should absolutely express gratitude. Send the donor a thank-you letter and a gift receipt (in case they want to write it off on their taxes or simply have a record of the donation). It's best to send these items as quickly as possible so that the donor knows that the contribution was greatly appreciated and will be put to good use.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Many people are more motivated to help you with money if they sympathize with your goals or interests. Try to tailor your appeal to each individual donor, based on how that donor seems to respond to the issues you address.\\n\", \"Always send a thank-you note to your donors, regardless of how much they sent you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,464 | How to Ask Someone About Their Past | 1. Love and Romance
1-1. “When was your last relationship?”
Get a read on whether or not they’re over their ex. If their last relationship ended not that long ago, it might be a red flag. They could be hung up on their ex still, which might lead to a rebound relationship. You can follow up with questions about the length of the relationship and why it ended.
This isn’t necessarily the case for everyone—some people really can move on quickly. However, it’s something to keep in mind.
Questions about love and romance like these are best asked in a private spot where you two can speak openly.
1-2. “What was your longest relationship?”
This can give you some insight on their commitment levels. While a ton of short relationships aren’t necessarily a bad thing, it might tell you more about who they are as a person. Ask them about the longest relationship they had and whether or not they enjoyed being committed like that.
Similarly, if they’ve just gotten out of a long relationship, they might not be ready to settle down quite yet.
Feel free to talk about your longest relationship, too. It might make the other person feel more comfortable and let them share more.
1-3. “Why did your last relationship end?”
Learn more about the conflicts that arose when they dated other people. While they don’t have to get super specific, you could ask more about the main issues, the conflict resolution, and why they decided to eventually part ways.
A lot of times, people will blame breakups solely on their exes. While that’s sometimes true, keep in mind that there are 2 sides to every story.
1-4. “Have you ever been in love?”
Get to know how serious their past relationships really were. If they’ve been in love before, you can follow up with questions about what kind of love it was (romantic vs. friendly) and why they fell out of love. If they’ve never been in love, ask them if they’re scared of falling in love or if they just haven’t met the right person yet.
You might also ask something like, “How many people have you said ‘I love you’ to?”
2. Sexual History
2-1. “Have you been tested for STDs recently?”
You can inquire about this before you start having sex with your partner. If they haven’t been tested since they last had sex with someone, it’s time to go in for a checkup.
Feel free to disclose your own STD test results, too. Let your partner know when the last time you got tested was so they feel safe as well.
Save questions about sex and sexual history for when you two are alone. You don’t want to ask this in front of other people or where someone could overhear you.
2-2. “Have you ever tested positive for an STD?”
STDs are more common than you think, especially in young adults. If you two can talk openly and honestly about past tests, then you’ll grow closer and learn to trust each other more.
It can be tough for some people to talk about their sexual history. Try not to pass any judgement, and just use the question to get more knowledge on who you’re sleeping with.
2-3. “How many people have you slept with?”
You can ask this if you want to know more about your partner. Keep in mind, though, that some people feel uncomfortable disclosing a certain number. Only ask this question if you can accept the answer without any judgement at all.
Remember that someone’s sexual history doesn’t dictate who they are as a person. Whether they’ve slept with a lot of people or very little doesn’t change your relationship now.
Avoid asking intimate or personal details about exes. There’s no need for you to get specific about genitalia or certain sexual acts.
3. Life Experience
3-1. “Which family members made the biggest impact in your life?”
Learn who was important to them and who they’re still close to with their answer. You might also follow up with questions about who they spent the most time with and who they tried to actively avoid during their childhood.
Impacts can be negative, too. They might have been affected a lot by a parent or a sibling, but not in a good way.
3-2. “What’s your favorite memory from your childhood?”
Get them talking about a happy memory from their life. You can learn more about what’s important to them, what makes them smile, and what kind of feelings they might try to recreate in the future. Follow up with an example of your happiest memory to tell them more about you.
For instance, if they tell a story about going hiking with their dad, they might love the outdoors to this day.
If they talk a lot about playing video games with their brother, they might ask you to play video games with them in the future.
3-3. “Did you grow up religious?”
If they did, follow up with questions about which religion it was and if they still follow it to this day. If they don’t, ask them about why they left the faith and what they believe in now. You can talk about your own relationship with spirituality and why you believe what you believe.
Religious beliefs can influence the compatibility between two people.
You can start the topic by discussing an event in the news, a book, or a movie that touches upon religion.
Approach the conversation with an open mind. Ask mindful questions and be curious about things you do not know.
This question is fairly invasive, and it can bring up some not-so-fond memories. Save this for when you’re really close to someone.
3-4. “How did your family handle conflict?”
Family dynamics can influence a person, even when they’re old. If their family brushed everything under the rug, they might try to avoid conflict as much as possible. If their family yelled or got loud with their anger, they might deal with anger issues to this day.
3-5. “What’s your biggest regret in life?”
This personal question can give you some insight into what’s important to this person. If your biggest regret is similar, feel free to share and bond over the things you could’ve done in the past.
For instance, maybe they regret not taking more chances or holding themselves back from opportunities.
Tips
Ask deep, personal questions like these when you two are alone in a private place.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Love and Romance\\n1-1. “When was your last relationship?”\\nGet a read on whether or not they’re over their ex. If their last relationship ended not that long ago, it might be a red flag. They could be hung up on their ex still, which might lead to a rebound relationship. You can follow up with questions about the length of the relationship and why it ended.\\nThis isn’t necessarily the case for everyone—some people really can move on quickly. However, it’s something to keep in mind.\\nQuestions about love and romance like these are best asked in a private spot where you two can speak openly.\\n1-2. “What was your longest relationship?”\\nThis can give you some insight on their commitment levels. While a ton of short relationships aren’t necessarily a bad thing, it might tell you more about who they are as a person. Ask them about the longest relationship they had and whether or not they enjoyed being committed like that.\\nSimilarly, if they’ve just gotten out of a long relationship, they might not be ready to settle down quite yet.\\nFeel free to talk about your longest relationship, too. It might make the other person feel more comfortable and let them share more.\\n1-3. “Why did your last relationship end?”\\nLearn more about the conflicts that arose when they dated other people. While they don’t have to get super specific, you could ask more about the main issues, the conflict resolution, and why they decided to eventually part ways.\\nA lot of times, people will blame breakups solely on their exes. While that’s sometimes true, keep in mind that there are 2 sides to every story.\\n1-4. “Have you ever been in love?”\\nGet to know how serious their past relationships really were. If they’ve been in love before, you can follow up with questions about what kind of love it was (romantic vs. friendly) and why they fell out of love. If they’ve never been in love, ask them if they’re scared of falling in love or if they just haven’t met the right person yet.\\nYou might also ask something like, “How many people have you said ‘I love you’ to?”\\n2. Sexual History\\n2-1. “Have you been tested for STDs recently?”\\nYou can inquire about this before you start having sex with your partner. If they haven’t been tested since they last had sex with someone, it’s time to go in for a checkup.\\nFeel free to disclose your own STD test results, too. Let your partner know when the last time you got tested was so they feel safe as well.\\nSave questions about sex and sexual history for when you two are alone. You don’t want to ask this in front of other people or where someone could overhear you.\\n2-2. “Have you ever tested positive for an STD?”\\nSTDs are more common than you think, especially in young adults. If you two can talk openly and honestly about past tests, then you’ll grow closer and learn to trust each other more.\\nIt can be tough for some people to talk about their sexual history. Try not to pass any judgement, and just use the question to get more knowledge on who you’re sleeping with.\\n2-3. “How many people have you slept with?”\\nYou can ask this if you want to know more about your partner. Keep in mind, though, that some people feel uncomfortable disclosing a certain number. Only ask this question if you can accept the answer without any judgement at all.\\nRemember that someone’s sexual history doesn’t dictate who they are as a person. Whether they’ve slept with a lot of people or very little doesn’t change your relationship now.\\nAvoid asking intimate or personal details about exes. There’s no need for you to get specific about genitalia or certain sexual acts.\\n3. Life Experience\\n3-1. “Which family members made the biggest impact in your life?”\\nLearn who was important to them and who they’re still close to with their answer. You might also follow up with questions about who they spent the most time with and who they tried to actively avoid during their childhood.\\nImpacts can be negative, too. They might have been affected a lot by a parent or a sibling, but not in a good way.\\n3-2. “What’s your favorite memory from your childhood?”\\nGet them talking about a happy memory from their life. You can learn more about what’s important to them, what makes them smile, and what kind of feelings they might try to recreate in the future. Follow up with an example of your happiest memory to tell them more about you.\\nFor instance, if they tell a story about going hiking with their dad, they might love the outdoors to this day.\\nIf they talk a lot about playing video games with their brother, they might ask you to play video games with them in the future.\\n3-3. “Did you grow up religious?”\\nIf they did, follow up with questions about which religion it was and if they still follow it to this day. If they don’t, ask them about why they left the faith and what they believe in now. You can talk about your own relationship with spirituality and why you believe what you believe.\\nReligious beliefs can influence the compatibility between two people.\\nYou can start the topic by discussing an event in the news, a book, or a movie that touches upon religion.\\nApproach the conversation with an open mind. Ask mindful questions and be curious about things you do not know.\\nThis question is fairly invasive, and it can bring up some not-so-fond memories. Save this for when you’re really close to someone.\\n3-4. “How did your family handle conflict?”\\nFamily dynamics can influence a person, even when they’re old. If their family brushed everything under the rug, they might try to avoid conflict as much as possible. If their family yelled or got loud with their anger, they might deal with anger issues to this day.\\n3-5. “What’s your biggest regret in life?”\\nThis personal question can give you some insight into what’s important to this person. If your biggest regret is similar, feel free to share and bond over the things you could’ve done in the past.\\nFor instance, maybe they regret not taking more chances or holding themselves back from opportunities.\\nTips\\nAsk deep, personal questions like these when you two are alone in a private place.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re getting to know someone new, asking them about their past can feel a little invasive. However, the answers to these questions can bring you two closer and make you feel more connected to each other. Keep reading to learn how you can ask someone about their past experiences and follow up with deep, insightful thoughts.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Love and Romance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“When was your last relationship?”\", \"描述\": \"Get a read on whether or not they’re over their ex. If their last relationship ended not that long ago, it might be a red flag. They could be hung up on their ex still, which might lead to a rebound relationship. You can follow up with questions about the length of the relationship and why it ended.\\nThis isn’t necessarily the case for everyone—some people really can move on quickly. However, it’s something to keep in mind.\\nQuestions about love and romance like these are best asked in a private spot where you two can speak openly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“What was your longest relationship?”\", \"描述\": \"This can give you some insight on their commitment levels. While a ton of short relationships aren’t necessarily a bad thing, it might tell you more about who they are as a person. Ask them about the longest relationship they had and whether or not they enjoyed being committed like that.\\nSimilarly, if they’ve just gotten out of a long relationship, they might not be ready to settle down quite yet.\\nFeel free to talk about your longest relationship, too. It might make the other person feel more comfortable and let them share more.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“Why did your last relationship end?”\", \"描述\": \"Learn more about the conflicts that arose when they dated other people. While they don’t have to get super specific, you could ask more about the main issues, the conflict resolution, and why they decided to eventually part ways.\\nA lot of times, people will blame breakups solely on their exes. While that’s sometimes true, keep in mind that there are 2 sides to every story.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“Have you ever been in love?”\", \"描述\": \"Get to know how serious their past relationships really were. If they’ve been in love before, you can follow up with questions about what kind of love it was (romantic vs. friendly) and why they fell out of love. If they’ve never been in love, ask them if they’re scared of falling in love or if they just haven’t met the right person yet.\\nYou might also ask something like, “How many people have you said ‘I love you’ to?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sexual History\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“Have you been tested for STDs recently?”\", \"描述\": \"You can inquire about this before you start having sex with your partner. If they haven’t been tested since they last had sex with someone, it’s time to go in for a checkup.\\nFeel free to disclose your own STD test results, too. Let your partner know when the last time you got tested was so they feel safe as well.\\nSave questions about sex and sexual history for when you two are alone. You don’t want to ask this in front of other people or where someone could overhear you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“Have you ever tested positive for an STD?”\", \"描述\": \"STDs are more common than you think, especially in young adults. If you two can talk openly and honestly about past tests, then you’ll grow closer and learn to trust each other more.\\nIt can be tough for some people to talk about their sexual history. Try not to pass any judgement, and just use the question to get more knowledge on who you’re sleeping with.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“How many people have you slept with?”\", \"描述\": \"You can ask this if you want to know more about your partner. Keep in mind, though, that some people feel uncomfortable disclosing a certain number. Only ask this question if you can accept the answer without any judgement at all.\\nRemember that someone’s sexual history doesn’t dictate who they are as a person. Whether they’ve slept with a lot of people or very little doesn’t change your relationship now.\\nAvoid asking intimate or personal details about exes. There’s no need for you to get specific about genitalia or certain sexual acts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Life Experience\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“Which family members made the biggest impact in your life?”\", \"描述\": \"Learn who was important to them and who they’re still close to with their answer. You might also follow up with questions about who they spent the most time with and who they tried to actively avoid during their childhood.\\nImpacts can be negative, too. They might have been affected a lot by a parent or a sibling, but not in a good way.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“What’s your favorite memory from your childhood?”\", \"描述\": \"Get them talking about a happy memory from their life. You can learn more about what’s important to them, what makes them smile, and what kind of feelings they might try to recreate in the future. Follow up with an example of your happiest memory to tell them more about you.\\nFor instance, if they tell a story about going hiking with their dad, they might love the outdoors to this day.\\nIf they talk a lot about playing video games with their brother, they might ask you to play video games with them in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“Did you grow up religious?”\", \"描述\": \"If they did, follow up with questions about which religion it was and if they still follow it to this day. If they don’t, ask them about why they left the faith and what they believe in now. You can talk about your own relationship with spirituality and why you believe what you believe.\\nReligious beliefs can influence the compatibility between two people.\\nYou can start the topic by discussing an event in the news, a book, or a movie that touches upon religion.\\nApproach the conversation with an open mind. Ask mindful questions and be curious about things you do not know.\\nThis question is fairly invasive, and it can bring up some not-so-fond memories. Save this for when you’re really close to someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“How did your family handle conflict?”\", \"描述\": \"Family dynamics can influence a person, even when they’re old. If their family brushed everything under the rug, they might try to avoid conflict as much as possible. If their family yelled or got loud with their anger, they might deal with anger issues to this day.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“What’s your biggest regret in life?”\", \"描述\": \"This personal question can give you some insight into what’s important to this person. If your biggest regret is similar, feel free to share and bond over the things you could’ve done in the past.\\nFor instance, maybe they regret not taking more chances or holding themselves back from opportunities.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Ask deep, personal questions like these when you two are alone in a private place.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,465 | How to Ask Someone Out in Person or over Text | 1. Asking Out Someone You Already Know
1-1. Strike up a conversation.
Starting a casual conversation first will help you ease your way into asking the question and reduce some of the nervousness you might feel.Make small talk by asking how they are or what their upcoming plans are.
Send a friendly text saying "Hey, how's it going?" If you are doing the asking in person, approach the person and say hello. Make sure to smile and make eye contact, as this will show that you are interested.
Instead of asking them out right away, first ask them what they are doing tomorrow, this coming weekend, and so on. This will serve as a segue to asking the person out and will make the conversation flow more naturally.
Try to look your best when you ask somebody out. This will not only give you the best chance of scoring a date, it will help you feel more confident, which will be reflected in your behavior.
1-2. Ask them if they would like to go on a date.
Be specific and direct so they understand what you’re asking. Suggest an activity that you think they will be interested in, based on what you know about the person, and mention a specific date and time, too. If you can't think of anything, here are a few ideas:
“Want to go out for coffee on Saturday? My treat.”
“I wanted to see if you were free on Friday evening for dinner.”
“I’m heading to a party after work. Want to join me?”
“Hey, I know you love ice cream—why don’t we check out that new ice cream shop tomorrow?”
1-3. Let them know that there are no hard feelings if they say no.
This will help eliminate any awkwardness in the future, especially if you just asked out a close friend that you plan on continuing to see on a regular basis. More importantly, it will show the person that you are confident and mature enough to handle a little rejection.
Say something like, “No worries if you don’t want to. I just think you’re super cool, and I’d love to continue getting to know you.”
Or, “If you’re busy this weekend or you can’t make it, I understand! Just let me know if you want to get together sometime.”
2. Asking Out Someone You’ve Just Met
2-1. Make eye contact
This shows the person that you are interested in them, and gives them the opportunity to return the gesture, showing that they too are interested. You don’t have to stare them down, but try catching their gaze multiple times to send a flirty hint.
If the person looks away or doesn't smile back, they might not be interested. However, it might also mean that they are too shy to reciprocate, so don't give up quite yet.
2-2. Approach the person and introduce yourself, if you haven't already.
Be sure to act confident, even if you’re shaking inside. First impressions are very important, and confidence is an attractive characteristic in both men and women.
Say something like, “Hi, I’m Michael. What’s your name?”
Or, “Hey, my name’s Janet. How’s it going?”
2-3. Strike up a casual conversation.
This can range from complimenting the person, to talking about what's going on in the room around you, or asking them a question. If you can't think of a reason to talk to the person, try these things:
Ask the person what time it is.
Ask the person where they are from.
Ask the person what they are reading.
Compliment what the person is wearing.
Talk about the music that is playing, or anything else that is going on around you.
2-4. Ask the person out.
Once the conversation has started, let the person know that you think they are interesting, and would like to get to know them. Suggest meeting for coffee, lunch, dinner, etc. These are all very basic dates that are low-commitment, in case you don't hit it off.
“I think you’re super cool. Want to go get a drink sometime?”
“I’m heading out, but I’d love to get to know you more. Maybe we could get lunch tomorrow.”
Avoid asking them out to a movie on the first date, because it will not give you a chance to get to know one another.
Try to get the person you're asking out alone. Otherwise the other person can be pressured to give a certain answer, especially around their friends.
When asking out a stranger, make sure they feel safe and comfortable at all times. If someone feels pressured or scared to say no, then their answer won’t be genuine.
2-5. Be diplomatic if they say no.
If the person says no, smile and say something like: "Well, it was worth a try. Nice to meet you anyway!" and then leave them be. Don't continue to bother the person once they have said no, and definitely don't continue trying to convince them to go out with you. This will make you appear desperate, and make the other person feel uncomfortable.
Even if you do get rejected, pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there in the first place. Asking someone out isn’t easy, and you faced your fears and worked up the courage to do it. Nice job!
3. Making a Game Plan
3-1. Determine whether this person is already in a relationship.
This will save you a great deal of embarrassment and unnecessary effort. Try asking mutual friends or checking their social media accounts to see if they have a partner.
Don't ask somebody out if they’re in a relationship. Not only is it essentially guaranteed that they'll say no, but it’s pretty unfair to the person's partner, and it reflects poorly on your moral character.
3-2. Be confident
Decide beforehand what you’ll do or say if the person says no. This is especially important if you plan on asking out a friend, as it will reduce the likelihood of damaging the friendship. Remember that the hardest part of asking someone out is putting yourself out there. Pat yourself on the back for trying, even if the answer is no.
Being prepared for rejection will help you avoid appearing physically defeated in front of the other person if the answer is no.
While you want to prepare yourself for the possibility of rejection, don't let it get in the way of your confidence. Rather, let it build on your confidence by accepting the fact that being rejected isn't the end of the world.
3-3. Find out what they like, if possible.
This will help you think of a good idea for a date. If this person loves music, find out what kind and invite them to a concert. If they enjoy movies, then invite them to the theater, and so on.
If you don’t know them or you aren’t sure what kind of activities they like, just find something that most people enjoy, like an art museum or a farmer’s market.
3-4. Determine how you want to ask the person out.
If you are too shy to do the asking in person, then consider sending a text, Facebook message, or email. Most experts recommend asking someone out in-person, but if you’re super nervous or you don’t see them often, then using technology is the way to go.
Text messages are a good option if you are too afraid to do the asking in person. This way, you will at least be able to hide your disappointment from the other person.
If you have just met the person and don't have their number, you will have to do the asking in person, but don't fret! Doing the asking in person is romantic and can be very rewarding if the person says yes.
Tips
Know how to take a hint. Some people are too nice to flat out say no to you, and will instead say they are busy and can't make the date. If the person says they are busy without trying to reschedule, they are probably not interested.
If this person says no, it might be because they aren't ready to date or aren't allowed to date. Don't come to the conclusion that they aren't interested in you.
Ask a wingman to help you out if you’re feeling super nervous.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Out Someone You Already Know\\n1-1. Strike up a conversation.\\nStarting a casual conversation first will help you ease your way into asking the question and reduce some of the nervousness you might feel.Make small talk by asking how they are or what their upcoming plans are.\\nSend a friendly text saying \\\"Hey, how's it going?\\\" If you are doing the asking in person, approach the person and say hello. Make sure to smile and make eye contact, as this will show that you are interested.\\nInstead of asking them out right away, first ask them what they are doing tomorrow, this coming weekend, and so on. This will serve as a segue to asking the person out and will make the conversation flow more naturally.\\nTry to look your best when you ask somebody out. This will not only give you the best chance of scoring a date, it will help you feel more confident, which will be reflected in your behavior.\\n1-2. Ask them if they would like to go on a date.\\nBe specific and direct so they understand what you’re asking. Suggest an activity that you think they will be interested in, based on what you know about the person, and mention a specific date and time, too. If you can't think of anything, here are a few ideas:\\n“Want to go out for coffee on Saturday? My treat.”\\n“I wanted to see if you were free on Friday evening for dinner.”\\n“I’m heading to a party after work. Want to join me?”\\n“Hey, I know you love ice cream—why don’t we check out that new ice cream shop tomorrow?”\\n1-3. Let them know that there are no hard feelings if they say no.\\nThis will help eliminate any awkwardness in the future, especially if you just asked out a close friend that you plan on continuing to see on a regular basis. More importantly, it will show the person that you are confident and mature enough to handle a little rejection.\\nSay something like, “No worries if you don’t want to. I just think you’re super cool, and I’d love to continue getting to know you.”\\nOr, “If you’re busy this weekend or you can’t make it, I understand! Just let me know if you want to get together sometime.”\\n2. Asking Out Someone You’ve Just Met\\n2-1. Make eye contact\\nThis shows the person that you are interested in them, and gives them the opportunity to return the gesture, showing that they too are interested. You don’t have to stare them down, but try catching their gaze multiple times to send a flirty hint.\\nIf the person looks away or doesn't smile back, they might not be interested. However, it might also mean that they are too shy to reciprocate, so don't give up quite yet.\\n2-2. Approach the person and introduce yourself, if you haven't already.\\nBe sure to act confident, even if you’re shaking inside. First impressions are very important, and confidence is an attractive characteristic in both men and women.\\nSay something like, “Hi, I’m Michael. What’s your name?”\\nOr, “Hey, my name’s Janet. How’s it going?”\\n2-3. Strike up a casual conversation.\\nThis can range from complimenting the person, to talking about what's going on in the room around you, or asking them a question. If you can't think of a reason to talk to the person, try these things:\\nAsk the person what time it is.\\nAsk the person where they are from.\\nAsk the person what they are reading.\\nCompliment what the person is wearing.\\nTalk about the music that is playing, or anything else that is going on around you.\\n2-4. Ask the person out.\\nOnce the conversation has started, let the person know that you think they are interesting, and would like to get to know them. Suggest meeting for coffee, lunch, dinner, etc. These are all very basic dates that are low-commitment, in case you don't hit it off.\\n“I think you’re super cool. Want to go get a drink sometime?”\\n“I’m heading out, but I’d love to get to know you more. Maybe we could get lunch tomorrow.”\\nAvoid asking them out to a movie on the first date, because it will not give you a chance to get to know one another.\\nTry to get the person you're asking out alone. Otherwise the other person can be pressured to give a certain answer, especially around their friends.\\nWhen asking out a stranger, make sure they feel safe and comfortable at all times. If someone feels pressured or scared to say no, then their answer won’t be genuine.\\n2-5. Be diplomatic if they say no.\\nIf the person says no, smile and say something like: \\\"Well, it was worth a try. Nice to meet you anyway!\\\" and then leave them be. Don't continue to bother the person once they have said no, and definitely don't continue trying to convince them to go out with you. This will make you appear desperate, and make the other person feel uncomfortable.\\nEven if you do get rejected, pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there in the first place. Asking someone out isn’t easy, and you faced your fears and worked up the courage to do it. Nice job!\\n3. Making a Game Plan\\n3-1. Determine whether this person is already in a relationship.\\nThis will save you a great deal of embarrassment and unnecessary effort. Try asking mutual friends or checking their social media accounts to see if they have a partner.\\nDon't ask somebody out if they’re in a relationship. Not only is it essentially guaranteed that they'll say no, but it’s pretty unfair to the person's partner, and it reflects poorly on your moral character.\\n3-2. Be confident\\nDecide beforehand what you’ll do or say if the person says no. This is especially important if you plan on asking out a friend, as it will reduce the likelihood of damaging the friendship. Remember that the hardest part of asking someone out is putting yourself out there. Pat yourself on the back for trying, even if the answer is no.\\nBeing prepared for rejection will help you avoid appearing physically defeated in front of the other person if the answer is no.\\nWhile you want to prepare yourself for the possibility of rejection, don't let it get in the way of your confidence. Rather, let it build on your confidence by accepting the fact that being rejected isn't the end of the world.\\n3-3. Find out what they like, if possible.\\nThis will help you think of a good idea for a date. If this person loves music, find out what kind and invite them to a concert. If they enjoy movies, then invite them to the theater, and so on.\\nIf you don’t know them or you aren’t sure what kind of activities they like, just find something that most people enjoy, like an art museum or a farmer’s market.\\n3-4. Determine how you want to ask the person out.\\nIf you are too shy to do the asking in person, then consider sending a text, Facebook message, or email. Most experts recommend asking someone out in-person, but if you’re super nervous or you don’t see them often, then using technology is the way to go.\\nText messages are a good option if you are too afraid to do the asking in person. This way, you will at least be able to hide your disappointment from the other person.\\nIf you have just met the person and don't have their number, you will have to do the asking in person, but don't fret! Doing the asking in person is romantic and can be very rewarding if the person says yes.\\nTips\\nKnow how to take a hint. Some people are too nice to flat out say no to you, and will instead say they are busy and can't make the date. If the person says they are busy without trying to reschedule, they are probably not interested.\\nIf this person says no, it might be because they aren't ready to date or aren't allowed to date. Don't come to the conclusion that they aren't interested in you.\\nAsk a wingman to help you out if you’re feeling super nervous.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’ve just spotted a cutie across the room or you’ve had a crush on a friend for a while, asking them out on a date is the best way to make your intentions clear. While the possibility of rejection can be scary, regretting not asking someone out is even worse! Keep reading for expert-backed tips on working up the courage to ask someone out while maintaining your confidence the entire time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Out Someone You Already Know\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Strike up a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Starting a casual conversation first will help you ease your way into asking the question and reduce some of the nervousness you might feel.Make small talk by asking how they are or what their upcoming plans are.\\nSend a friendly text saying \\\"Hey, how's it going?\\\" If you are doing the asking in person, approach the person and say hello. Make sure to smile and make eye contact, as this will show that you are interested.\\nInstead of asking them out right away, first ask them what they are doing tomorrow, this coming weekend, and so on. This will serve as a segue to asking the person out and will make the conversation flow more naturally.\\nTry to look your best when you ask somebody out. This will not only give you the best chance of scoring a date, it will help you feel more confident, which will be reflected in your behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask them if they would like to go on a date.\", \"描述\": \"Be specific and direct so they understand what you’re asking. Suggest an activity that you think they will be interested in, based on what you know about the person, and mention a specific date and time, too. If you can't think of anything, here are a few ideas:\\n“Want to go out for coffee on Saturday? My treat.”\\n“I wanted to see if you were free on Friday evening for dinner.”\\n“I’m heading to a party after work. Want to join me?”\\n“Hey, I know you love ice cream—why don’t we check out that new ice cream shop tomorrow?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let them know that there are no hard feelings if they say no.\", \"描述\": \"This will help eliminate any awkwardness in the future, especially if you just asked out a close friend that you plan on continuing to see on a regular basis. More importantly, it will show the person that you are confident and mature enough to handle a little rejection.\\nSay something like, “No worries if you don’t want to. I just think you’re super cool, and I’d love to continue getting to know you.”\\nOr, “If you’re busy this weekend or you can’t make it, I understand! Just let me know if you want to get together sometime.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Out Someone You’ve Just Met\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact\", \"描述\": \"This shows the person that you are interested in them, and gives them the opportunity to return the gesture, showing that they too are interested. You don’t have to stare them down, but try catching their gaze multiple times to send a flirty hint.\\nIf the person looks away or doesn't smile back, they might not be interested. However, it might also mean that they are too shy to reciprocate, so don't give up quite yet.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Approach the person and introduce yourself, if you haven't already.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to act confident, even if you’re shaking inside. First impressions are very important, and confidence is an attractive characteristic in both men and women.\\nSay something like, “Hi, I’m Michael. What’s your name?”\\nOr, “Hey, my name’s Janet. How’s it going?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Strike up a casual conversation.\", \"描述\": \"This can range from complimenting the person, to talking about what's going on in the room around you, or asking them a question. If you can't think of a reason to talk to the person, try these things:\\nAsk the person what time it is.\\nAsk the person where they are from.\\nAsk the person what they are reading.\\nCompliment what the person is wearing.\\nTalk about the music that is playing, or anything else that is going on around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask the person out.\", \"描述\": \"Once the conversation has started, let the person know that you think they are interesting, and would like to get to know them. Suggest meeting for coffee, lunch, dinner, etc. These are all very basic dates that are low-commitment, in case you don't hit it off.\\n“I think you’re super cool. Want to go get a drink sometime?”\\n“I’m heading out, but I’d love to get to know you more. Maybe we could get lunch tomorrow.”\\nAvoid asking them out to a movie on the first date, because it will not give you a chance to get to know one another.\\nTry to get the person you're asking out alone. Otherwise the other person can be pressured to give a certain answer, especially around their friends.\\nWhen asking out a stranger, make sure they feel safe and comfortable at all times. If someone feels pressured or scared to say no, then their answer won’t be genuine.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be diplomatic if they say no.\", \"描述\": \"If the person says no, smile and say something like: \\\"Well, it was worth a try. Nice to meet you anyway!\\\" and then leave them be. Don't continue to bother the person once they have said no, and definitely don't continue trying to convince them to go out with you. This will make you appear desperate, and make the other person feel uncomfortable.\\nEven if you do get rejected, pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there in the first place. Asking someone out isn’t easy, and you faced your fears and worked up the courage to do it. Nice job!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making a Game Plan\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine whether this person is already in a relationship.\", \"描述\": \"This will save you a great deal of embarrassment and unnecessary effort. Try asking mutual friends or checking their social media accounts to see if they have a partner.\\nDon't ask somebody out if they’re in a relationship. Not only is it essentially guaranteed that they'll say no, but it’s pretty unfair to the person's partner, and it reflects poorly on your moral character.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"Decide beforehand what you’ll do or say if the person says no. This is especially important if you plan on asking out a friend, as it will reduce the likelihood of damaging the friendship. Remember that the hardest part of asking someone out is putting yourself out there. Pat yourself on the back for trying, even if the answer is no.\\nBeing prepared for rejection will help you avoid appearing physically defeated in front of the other person if the answer is no.\\nWhile you want to prepare yourself for the possibility of rejection, don't let it get in the way of your confidence. Rather, let it build on your confidence by accepting the fact that being rejected isn't the end of the world.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out what they like, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"This will help you think of a good idea for a date. If this person loves music, find out what kind and invite them to a concert. If they enjoy movies, then invite them to the theater, and so on.\\nIf you don’t know them or you aren’t sure what kind of activities they like, just find something that most people enjoy, like an art museum or a farmer’s market.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Determine how you want to ask the person out.\", \"描述\": \"If you are too shy to do the asking in person, then consider sending a text, Facebook message, or email. Most experts recommend asking someone out in-person, but if you’re super nervous or you don’t see them often, then using technology is the way to go.\\nText messages are a good option if you are too afraid to do the asking in person. This way, you will at least be able to hide your disappointment from the other person.\\nIf you have just met the person and don't have their number, you will have to do the asking in person, but don't fret! Doing the asking in person is romantic and can be very rewarding if the person says yes.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Know how to take a hint. Some people are too nice to flat out say no to you, and will instead say they are busy and can't make the date. If the person says they are busy without trying to reschedule, they are probably not interested.\\n\", \"If this person says no, it might be because they aren't ready to date or aren't allowed to date. Don't come to the conclusion that they aren't interested in you.\\n\", \"Ask a wingman to help you out if you’re feeling super nervous.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,466 | How to Ask Someone Out Using a Text Message | 1. Asking Your Crush Out
1-1. Stay focused on your goal.
Having a text conversation about your crush’s day or interests is a good way to show you want to know them better. Just don’t let the conversation drift into more mundane, generic topics, and don’t keep your crush waiting too long before you ask them out. The quicker you pop the question, the more likely you’ll have their full interest and get a good response.
If you’re asking your crush to go on a specific date, focus the conversation on that. For example, if you want to take them to a movie, talk with them about a new release.
1-2. Ask them out with a compliment.
When asking your crush on a date, include a kind comment explaining why you want to go out with them. This will make them feel good and open them up to the idea of a date. Some text ideas include:
“I really like talking with you. Would you like to grab coffee together sometime?”
“I’ve been thinking recently, would you like to go see a movie with me?”
“You seem really wonderful. Would you be interested in grabbing dinner?”
1-3. Be specific when you ask your crush out.
Make sure your crush understands that you want to take them on a date, otherwise they may think you are just inviting them to go out with a group of friends. Use clear phrases like “Want to go out?” instead of vague one like “Want to hang?”
1-4. Figure out the details of your date.
If your crush says yes, follow up immediately to make the necessary plans. Look for a day and time that works for both of you, then figure out a place to meet. Have concrete plans in place before you end the text conversation. This will show your crush that you’re interested and prevent confusion down the road.
1-5. Don’t worry if your crush says no.
Give them some space and, in a few weeks, talk with them again as just a friend. If your conversation goes well, the dating doors may still be open. In the meantime, make sure to take care of yourself by hanging out with friends, getting out of the house, and staying active.
2. Having Text Conversations with Your Crush
2-1. Make the texts personal.
Avoid generic texts like “Hey,” “What’s up?” or “What are you doing?” since they’re not ideal for starting conversations. Instead, try to personalize the texts to your crush. This will make you stand out in a positive way and shows that you're interested in them as an individual.
Try referring to the last conversation you had with them. For example, if they mentioned a big test or work project, ask them how it went.
Talk about their interests. If you know your crush is a fan of a specific band, ask about their new album. If they have a favorite sports team, talk about a recent game.
2-2. Talk about happy things.
Use your texts to show your crush that you’re fun to be around. Keep the conversation focused on pleasant topics, and don’t be afraid to send a joke or two. Remember that comedy and sarcasm can be hard to decipher in texts, so make it clear when you’re joking by using an emoji or a phrase like “lol” or “haha.”
Unless you know your crush enjoys them, you should probably avoid crass jokes. Even if you don’t intend to, crude jokes or comments might make your crush uncomfortable or nervous.
2-3. Use correct spelling and grammar.
You don’t need to write out an elaborate paragraph when texting. However, people are more likely to say yes to a date if your message has good spelling and grammar. Doublecheck your message before you send it to make sure there are no obvious mistakes.
2-4. Give your crush time to respond.
If you haven’t heard back from your crush, don’t bombard them with texts. They may be busy or trying to decide what to say, and a bunch of texts can be overwhelming. If you haven’t heard back in a day or two, you can try sending another message to see if they respond. If they still haven’t answered, they may not be interested.
2-5. Send a similar amount of texts as your crush.
You don’t want to overwhelm your crush, so show a similar level of enthusiasm. Sending three long texts back for every short text they send will make you seem overly eager. Instead, try to match your message lengths to theirs.
3. Timing Your Text Messages
3-1. Don’t wait too long to text your new crush.
If you just met someone that you clicked with, don’t wait to send them a text. The old rule that you should wait 3 days before contacting your crush is a myth. Text them within a day so that the fun time that you spent together is still fresh in their mind.
Even if you’ve known your crush for a while, if you had a great conversation or fun time together, don’t wait to text them and let them know how much you enjoyed it.
Your first text message can be as simple as “I just wanted to say, I really enjoyed our conversation today.”
3-2. Text them at reasonable hours.
Avoid texting your crush early in the morning or late at night, since you don’t want to wake them up. Late afternoon and early evening are usually the best times to text since your crush will likely be awake and finished with work or school.
3-3. Wait 1 to 2 hours to reply after your crush responds.
When your crush responds to your text, don’t write back immediately since it might make you seem overly eager. However, you shouldn’t wait too long to reply either, as it could make you seem rude or uninterested.
In general, you should only delay responding to the first text. If you always keep your crush waiting, they may get impatient or doubt your interest.
4. Following through on a Date
4-1. Let your crush know you’re looking forward to the date.
Don’t overwhelm them with texts, but a day or two before, send them a message saying that you are looking forward to seeing them. This will show your crush that you’re as excited about the date as they (hopefully).
4-2. Wear a nice, appropriate outfit.
Before your time together, pick an outfit that is nice and matches the date itself. Unless you’re going to an extremely fancy restaurant or event, you probably don’t need a regal dress or full suit. Instead, go for something comfortable that fits, looks nice, and shows that you care.
4-3. Pay attention to your date.
During the date, turn off your phone and focus on your crush. Keep your attention on your time together and avoid work or school drama, past relationships, and other unsavory topics. Show them you’re interested by listening to what they say and responding in a meaningful way.
4-4. Let them know if you enjoyed the date.
If you had a good time and are interested in going on another date, let your crush know. Send them a text that night or the following day saying that you enjoyed your time together. If they send a positive response back, ask if they’d be interested in doing it again sometime.
Tips
If possible, find out beforehand if your crush is interested in you or romantically involved with somebody else.
After you and your crush have become friends, ask him/her out and if they say no, tell them "It's okay, just a thought."
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"create_time": "20230517 10:47:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Your Crush Out\\n1-1. Stay focused on your goal.\\nHaving a text conversation about your crush’s day or interests is a good way to show you want to know them better. Just don’t let the conversation drift into more mundane, generic topics, and don’t keep your crush waiting too long before you ask them out. The quicker you pop the question, the more likely you’ll have their full interest and get a good response.\\nIf you’re asking your crush to go on a specific date, focus the conversation on that. For example, if you want to take them to a movie, talk with them about a new release.\\n1-2. Ask them out with a compliment.\\nWhen asking your crush on a date, include a kind comment explaining why you want to go out with them. This will make them feel good and open them up to the idea of a date. Some text ideas include:\\n“I really like talking with you. Would you like to grab coffee together sometime?”\\n“I’ve been thinking recently, would you like to go see a movie with me?”\\n“You seem really wonderful. Would you be interested in grabbing dinner?”\\n1-3. Be specific when you ask your crush out.\\nMake sure your crush understands that you want to take them on a date, otherwise they may think you are just inviting them to go out with a group of friends. Use clear phrases like “Want to go out?” instead of vague one like “Want to hang?”\\n1-4. Figure out the details of your date.\\nIf your crush says yes, follow up immediately to make the necessary plans. Look for a day and time that works for both of you, then figure out a place to meet. Have concrete plans in place before you end the text conversation. This will show your crush that you’re interested and prevent confusion down the road.\\n1-5. Don’t worry if your crush says no.\\nGive them some space and, in a few weeks, talk with them again as just a friend. If your conversation goes well, the dating doors may still be open. In the meantime, make sure to take care of yourself by hanging out with friends, getting out of the house, and staying active.\\n2. Having Text Conversations with Your Crush\\n2-1. Make the texts personal.\\nAvoid generic texts like “Hey,” “What’s up?” or “What are you doing?” since they’re not ideal for starting conversations. Instead, try to personalize the texts to your crush. This will make you stand out in a positive way and shows that you're interested in them as an individual.\\nTry referring to the last conversation you had with them. For example, if they mentioned a big test or work project, ask them how it went.\\nTalk about their interests. If you know your crush is a fan of a specific band, ask about their new album. If they have a favorite sports team, talk about a recent game.\\n2-2. Talk about happy things.\\nUse your texts to show your crush that you’re fun to be around. Keep the conversation focused on pleasant topics, and don’t be afraid to send a joke or two. Remember that comedy and sarcasm can be hard to decipher in texts, so make it clear when you’re joking by using an emoji or a phrase like “lol” or “haha.”\\nUnless you know your crush enjoys them, you should probably avoid crass jokes. Even if you don’t intend to, crude jokes or comments might make your crush uncomfortable or nervous.\\n2-3. Use correct spelling and grammar.\\nYou don’t need to write out an elaborate paragraph when texting. However, people are more likely to say yes to a date if your message has good spelling and grammar. Doublecheck your message before you send it to make sure there are no obvious mistakes.\\n2-4. Give your crush time to respond.\\nIf you haven’t heard back from your crush, don’t bombard them with texts. They may be busy or trying to decide what to say, and a bunch of texts can be overwhelming. If you haven’t heard back in a day or two, you can try sending another message to see if they respond. If they still haven’t answered, they may not be interested.\\n2-5. Send a similar amount of texts as your crush.\\nYou don’t want to overwhelm your crush, so show a similar level of enthusiasm. Sending three long texts back for every short text they send will make you seem overly eager. Instead, try to match your message lengths to theirs.\\n3. Timing Your Text Messages\\n3-1. Don’t wait too long to text your new crush.\\nIf you just met someone that you clicked with, don’t wait to send them a text. The old rule that you should wait 3 days before contacting your crush is a myth. Text them within a day so that the fun time that you spent together is still fresh in their mind.\\nEven if you’ve known your crush for a while, if you had a great conversation or fun time together, don’t wait to text them and let them know how much you enjoyed it.\\nYour first text message can be as simple as “I just wanted to say, I really enjoyed our conversation today.”\\n3-2. Text them at reasonable hours.\\nAvoid texting your crush early in the morning or late at night, since you don’t want to wake them up. Late afternoon and early evening are usually the best times to text since your crush will likely be awake and finished with work or school.\\n3-3. Wait 1 to 2 hours to reply after your crush responds.\\nWhen your crush responds to your text, don’t write back immediately since it might make you seem overly eager. However, you shouldn’t wait too long to reply either, as it could make you seem rude or uninterested.\\nIn general, you should only delay responding to the first text. If you always keep your crush waiting, they may get impatient or doubt your interest.\\n4. Following through on a Date\\n4-1. Let your crush know you’re looking forward to the date.\\nDon’t overwhelm them with texts, but a day or two before, send them a message saying that you are looking forward to seeing them. This will show your crush that you’re as excited about the date as they (hopefully).\\n4-2. Wear a nice, appropriate outfit.\\nBefore your time together, pick an outfit that is nice and matches the date itself. Unless you’re going to an extremely fancy restaurant or event, you probably don’t need a regal dress or full suit. Instead, go for something comfortable that fits, looks nice, and shows that you care.\\n4-3. Pay attention to your date.\\nDuring the date, turn off your phone and focus on your crush. Keep your attention on your time together and avoid work or school drama, past relationships, and other unsavory topics. Show them you’re interested by listening to what they say and responding in a meaningful way.\\n4-4. Let them know if you enjoyed the date.\\nIf you had a good time and are interested in going on another date, let your crush know. Send them a text that night or the following day saying that you enjoyed your time together. If they send a positive response back, ask if they’d be interested in doing it again sometime.\\nTips\\nIf possible, find out beforehand if your crush is interested in you or romantically involved with somebody else.\\nAfter you and your crush have become friends, ask him/her out and if they say no, tell them \\\"It's okay, just a thought.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You’ve mustered up the courage to ask out your crush, but what exactly should you say, and what’s the best way to do it over text message? Don’t worry—asking someone out over text doesn’t have to be complicated or scary, and we’re here to help! This article will show you the best way to strike up a conversation with your crush over text and ask them out on a date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Your Crush Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay focused on your goal.\", \"描述\": \"Having a text conversation about your crush’s day or interests is a good way to show you want to know them better. Just don’t let the conversation drift into more mundane, generic topics, and don’t keep your crush waiting too long before you ask them out. The quicker you pop the question, the more likely you’ll have their full interest and get a good response.\\nIf you’re asking your crush to go on a specific date, focus the conversation on that. For example, if you want to take them to a movie, talk with them about a new release.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask them out with a compliment.\", \"描述\": \"When asking your crush on a date, include a kind comment explaining why you want to go out with them. This will make them feel good and open them up to the idea of a date. Some text ideas include:\\n“I really like talking with you. Would you like to grab coffee together sometime?”\\n“I’ve been thinking recently, would you like to go see a movie with me?”\\n“You seem really wonderful. Would you be interested in grabbing dinner?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be specific when you ask your crush out.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure your crush understands that you want to take them on a date, otherwise they may think you are just inviting them to go out with a group of friends. Use clear phrases like “Want to go out?” instead of vague one like “Want to hang?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Figure out the details of your date.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush says yes, follow up immediately to make the necessary plans. Look for a day and time that works for both of you, then figure out a place to meet. Have concrete plans in place before you end the text conversation. This will show your crush that you’re interested and prevent confusion down the road.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t worry if your crush says no.\", \"描述\": \"Give them some space and, in a few weeks, talk with them again as just a friend. If your conversation goes well, the dating doors may still be open. In the meantime, make sure to take care of yourself by hanging out with friends, getting out of the house, and staying active.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having Text Conversations with Your Crush\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make the texts personal.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid generic texts like “Hey,” “What’s up?” or “What are you doing?” since they’re not ideal for starting conversations. Instead, try to personalize the texts to your crush. This will make you stand out in a positive way and shows that you're interested in them as an individual.\\nTry referring to the last conversation you had with them. For example, if they mentioned a big test or work project, ask them how it went.\\nTalk about their interests. If you know your crush is a fan of a specific band, ask about their new album. If they have a favorite sports team, talk about a recent game.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk about happy things.\", \"描述\": \"Use your texts to show your crush that you’re fun to be around. Keep the conversation focused on pleasant topics, and don’t be afraid to send a joke or two. Remember that comedy and sarcasm can be hard to decipher in texts, so make it clear when you’re joking by using an emoji or a phrase like “lol” or “haha.”\\nUnless you know your crush enjoys them, you should probably avoid crass jokes. Even if you don’t intend to, crude jokes or comments might make your crush uncomfortable or nervous.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use correct spelling and grammar.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to write out an elaborate paragraph when texting. However, people are more likely to say yes to a date if your message has good spelling and grammar. Doublecheck your message before you send it to make sure there are no obvious mistakes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give your crush time to respond.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven’t heard back from your crush, don’t bombard them with texts. They may be busy or trying to decide what to say, and a bunch of texts can be overwhelming. If you haven’t heard back in a day or two, you can try sending another message to see if they respond. If they still haven’t answered, they may not be interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Send a similar amount of texts as your crush.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to overwhelm your crush, so show a similar level of enthusiasm. Sending three long texts back for every short text they send will make you seem overly eager. Instead, try to match your message lengths to theirs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Timing Your Text Messages\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t wait too long to text your new crush.\", \"描述\": \"If you just met someone that you clicked with, don’t wait to send them a text. The old rule that you should wait 3 days before contacting your crush is a myth. Text them within a day so that the fun time that you spent together is still fresh in their mind.\\nEven if you’ve known your crush for a while, if you had a great conversation or fun time together, don’t wait to text them and let them know how much you enjoyed it.\\nYour first text message can be as simple as “I just wanted to say, I really enjoyed our conversation today.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Text them at reasonable hours.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid texting your crush early in the morning or late at night, since you don’t want to wake them up. Late afternoon and early evening are usually the best times to text since your crush will likely be awake and finished with work or school.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wait 1 to 2 hours to reply after your crush responds.\", \"描述\": \"When your crush responds to your text, don’t write back immediately since it might make you seem overly eager. However, you shouldn’t wait too long to reply either, as it could make you seem rude or uninterested.\\nIn general, you should only delay responding to the first text. If you always keep your crush waiting, they may get impatient or doubt your interest.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Following through on a Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your crush know you’re looking forward to the date.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t overwhelm them with texts, but a day or two before, send them a message saying that you are looking forward to seeing them. This will show your crush that you’re as excited about the date as they (hopefully).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear a nice, appropriate outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Before your time together, pick an outfit that is nice and matches the date itself. Unless you’re going to an extremely fancy restaurant or event, you probably don’t need a regal dress or full suit. Instead, go for something comfortable that fits, looks nice, and shows that you care.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your date.\", \"描述\": \"During the date, turn off your phone and focus on your crush. Keep your attention on your time together and avoid work or school drama, past relationships, and other unsavory topics. Show them you’re interested by listening to what they say and responding in a meaningful way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let them know if you enjoyed the date.\", \"描述\": \"If you had a good time and are interested in going on another date, let your crush know. Send them a text that night or the following day saying that you enjoyed your time together. If they send a positive response back, ask if they’d be interested in doing it again sometime.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If possible, find out beforehand if your crush is interested in you or romantically involved with somebody else.\\n\", \"After you and your crush have become friends, ask him/her out and if they say no, tell them \\\"It's okay, just a thought.\\\"\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,467 | How to Ask Someone for a Job | 1. Securing the Job you Want
1-1. Find the best possible contact.
Do a little research to find out who’s in charge of making hiring decisions for the company you wish to work for. For small private businesses this may be the owner themselves, or it may be a human resources officer or staffing director at a big corporation. Going through the appropriate channels is the first step toward gaining an audience.
With most retail and service jobs, you can simply walk in and request to speak to a manager.
If you have a friend or acquaintance that works for the company, see if they could give you some advice or help set up a meeting between you and one of the higher ups.
1-2. Take the direct approach.
Once you get a chance to speak to someone with some influence, let them know up front that you’re interested in working for them. Show them that you’re eager, enthusiastic and ready to work hard. Chances are, they’ll be impressed by your initiative.
The key is to be assertive, but not too forceful. Never make demands of an employer or come in with a sense of entitlement.
Open with a statement like "I think I would be a very good fit for your company" or "I believe my ideas and ambition could be of real service to your operations."
1-3. Send an email.
Be sure to attach your resume, an original cover letter explaining why you're interested in the job and a link to the open position, if it was posted online. These days, most established companies screen potential employees electronically, so this will be your first opportunity to make contact with the people you could be working for in the future. Emailing an employer directly is much more personable than mass-posting your resume to various job search websites.
Be explicit about the purpose of the email with a subject line like "Senior Editor Position."
Always be cordial, professional and prompt in your email correspondence. Hiring supervisors pay close attention to the way prospective employees communicate.
1-4. Schedule a time for a sit down.
In some instances, the person offering a job might be a family friend, acquaintance or former business associate. If this is the case, it will usually be okay to meet with them casually to discuss the details of the job. Find a time that fits the employer's schedule and be prepared to tell them a little about yourself and what you're looking for.
Set up a meeting by calling or speaking to the employer in person ahead of time.
Even if it's not a formal interview, you should plan on showing up early and looking respectable.
Don't assume that you'll be guaranteed a job just because you know someone. You should treat the sit down with the same respect and consideration you would any other professional situation.
2. Making Yourself Attractive to the Employer
2-1. List your qualifications.
Describe yourself and your experience in the field. Include an overview of your recent job history, as well as any relevant education and volunteering opportunities. Don’t assume that the person in charge of hiring will recognize the value of your skills immediately—make them see how they will prove useful.
Don’t just recite what’s on your resume. Explain to the employer how those qualifications can be applied and adapted: "as you can see, my four years as a teacher have provided valuable experience in working closely with groups of all different ages."
If you don’t have any experience to speak of, focus on the aspects of your personality that you think would make you a good fit for the position.
2-2. Demonstrate your usefulness.
Don’t wait until you’ve been hired to start being an asset for the company. Be proactive and tell your contact or interviewer exactly what sort of things you would bring to the table. Doing this shows resourcefulness and makes it clear that you’ve put serious thought into filling the position you’re seeking.
Entice the employer with an idea on how to boost productivity, a writing sample or an example of a program you helped develop.
This is often as simple as mentioning past accomplishments like "at my last job I helped overhaul the new employee training program," or hinting at future ones like "I look forward to seeing how working in a more organized kitchen will help me improve my skills as a cook."
Providing a preview of the kind of work you do can help you showcase your practical abilities, allowing the company to feel confident in their decision to hire you.
2-3. Show an interest in the business.
Read up on the company’s history, goals and product or service to familiarize yourself with what they’re all about. Then, tailor your pitch to highlight the qualities of yours that are consistent with their business model. Many employers will be more willing to give you a chance if they think you have the best interest of the company at heart.
Make it evident to the person you’re meeting with that you want a job with their company, not just any company.
Avoid saying things like “I need a job” or “I heard you were hiring.” You’ll make a much better impression if you appear to be actively pursuing the job you’re asking for.
2-4. Establish a mutual connection.
Point out the things that you have in common with your contact, such as a close friend or associate. If somebody you know referred you to the job, be sure to mention them by name as someone that can vouch for your character. Networking is an important part of the job search because it suggests that you can be trusted.
Bring up your relationship with your connection in a way that sounds organic. For instance, you could say “my friend Christina told me that she loved working with you” or “my uncle has always been a satisfied client of yours.”
Don’t rely on name dropping to get you hired. You should be able to secure the job on your own merits—having a friend or two in common just helps.
2-5. Use plural language.
Instead of referring to yourself in the first person, use words like “us,” “we” and “our.” When you talk like you’re already a part of the team, the person you’re speaking to will begin to see you that way. This may make them more likely to seal the deal and bring you onboard.
Listen for the other person to start using plural language as well. This is a good sign that you’re winning them over.
2-6. Find out how you can follow up.
If you’re uncomfortable with the thought of boldly asking for the job, you can try moving things along in another way. Before you leave or hang up the phone, see if you can get more information about the next phase of the hiring process. Ask questions like "when would be a good time for me to call you back and go over some of this information in more detail?"
Request feedback to get an idea of how you did, or what you could do differently next time.
For most employers, the fact that you’re already looking forward to what you can do next will be taken as a promising sign.
3. Presenting Yourself Professionally
3-1. Put some effort into your appearance.
Before you show up for an interview or a friendly sit down, take some time to pick out a set of attire that fits you well and is appropriate for the occasion. You want to look sharp, but don’t be too casual or make a spectacle of yourself. Remember to comb your hair, brush your teeth and make sure that your clothing is free of dust and wrinkles.
In addition to the obvious, be sure to wear deodorant, clean beneath your fingernails and keep facial hair shaved or trimmed.
As the old saying goes, “dress for the job you want.” If you look the part, potential employers will be better able to envision you in the position.
3-2. Communicate clearly and effectively.
Aim for a tone that’s relaxed and friendly yet professional. When you’re not talking, listen attentively without interrupting. The person you’re speaking to should be just as comfortable with you as you are with them. Give detailed answers to the questions you’re asked, but resist the urge to boast or talk about yourself at length.
Do your best not to stutter, mumble or use a lot of filler noises like “um” and “ah.”
If you’re asking for a job via email, take care to use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar. Proofread the message carefully before you send it.
3-3. Be tenacious.
Just because you don’t get a job offer right away doesn’t mean that you never will. It may be that the specific position hasn’t opened up yet, or that whoever’s in charge needs more time to interview other applicants. Follow up with a phone call or email within a few days to let someone know that you’re still interested and hopeful to hear back.
Confidence speaks volumes. Sometimes, what you lack in direct experience you can make up for in being self-assured.
While determination is a good trait to have, you should learn to take no for an answer.
Don’t be too discouraged if you don't get the job—thank the person for their time, then redouble your efforts and make sure you’re prepared for the next opportunity that comes along.
Tips
Always get in touch with the company yourself, via phone, email or a direct visit. Don’t expect someone else to do the asking on your behalf.
If possible, arrange to meet with your potential employer face to face. That way, they’ll get a glimpse of your personality and not just how you look on paper.
End a formal interview by asking whether they would be willing to consider you for the position. There’s no sense in beating around the bush—you both know why you’re there.
Warnings
Avoid begging or groveling if you’re not offered the job right away. This may annoy the employer and make you come across as needy.
Don’t contact someone about professional matters through their personal phone number, email or social media accounts unless they’ve told you it’s alright to do so.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Securing the Job you Want\\n1-1. Find the best possible contact.\\nDo a little research to find out who’s in charge of making hiring decisions for the company you wish to work for. For small private businesses this may be the owner themselves, or it may be a human resources officer or staffing director at a big corporation. Going through the appropriate channels is the first step toward gaining an audience.\\nWith most retail and service jobs, you can simply walk in and request to speak to a manager.\\nIf you have a friend or acquaintance that works for the company, see if they could give you some advice or help set up a meeting between you and one of the higher ups.\\n1-2. Take the direct approach.\\nOnce you get a chance to speak to someone with some influence, let them know up front that you’re interested in working for them. Show them that you’re eager, enthusiastic and ready to work hard. Chances are, they’ll be impressed by your initiative.\\nThe key is to be assertive, but not too forceful. Never make demands of an employer or come in with a sense of entitlement.\\nOpen with a statement like \\\"I think I would be a very good fit for your company\\\" or \\\"I believe my ideas and ambition could be of real service to your operations.\\\"\\n1-3. Send an email.\\nBe sure to attach your resume, an original cover letter explaining why you're interested in the job and a link to the open position, if it was posted online. These days, most established companies screen potential employees electronically, so this will be your first opportunity to make contact with the people you could be working for in the future. Emailing an employer directly is much more personable than mass-posting your resume to various job search websites.\\nBe explicit about the purpose of the email with a subject line like \\\"Senior Editor Position.\\\"\\nAlways be cordial, professional and prompt in your email correspondence. Hiring supervisors pay close attention to the way prospective employees communicate.\\n1-4. Schedule a time for a sit down.\\nIn some instances, the person offering a job might be a family friend, acquaintance or former business associate. If this is the case, it will usually be okay to meet with them casually to discuss the details of the job. Find a time that fits the employer's schedule and be prepared to tell them a little about yourself and what you're looking for.\\nSet up a meeting by calling or speaking to the employer in person ahead of time.\\nEven if it's not a formal interview, you should plan on showing up early and looking respectable.\\nDon't assume that you'll be guaranteed a job just because you know someone. You should treat the sit down with the same respect and consideration you would any other professional situation.\\n2. Making Yourself Attractive to the Employer\\n2-1. List your qualifications.\\nDescribe yourself and your experience in the field. Include an overview of your recent job history, as well as any relevant education and volunteering opportunities. Don’t assume that the person in charge of hiring will recognize the value of your skills immediately—make them see how they will prove useful.\\nDon’t just recite what’s on your resume. Explain to the employer how those qualifications can be applied and adapted: \\\"as you can see, my four years as a teacher have provided valuable experience in working closely with groups of all different ages.\\\"\\nIf you don’t have any experience to speak of, focus on the aspects of your personality that you think would make you a good fit for the position.\\n2-2. Demonstrate your usefulness.\\nDon’t wait until you’ve been hired to start being an asset for the company. Be proactive and tell your contact or interviewer exactly what sort of things you would bring to the table. Doing this shows resourcefulness and makes it clear that you’ve put serious thought into filling the position you’re seeking.\\nEntice the employer with an idea on how to boost productivity, a writing sample or an example of a program you helped develop.\\nThis is often as simple as mentioning past accomplishments like \\\"at my last job I helped overhaul the new employee training program,\\\" or hinting at future ones like \\\"I look forward to seeing how working in a more organized kitchen will help me improve my skills as a cook.\\\"\\nProviding a preview of the kind of work you do can help you showcase your practical abilities, allowing the company to feel confident in their decision to hire you.\\n2-3. Show an interest in the business.\\nRead up on the company’s history, goals and product or service to familiarize yourself with what they’re all about. Then, tailor your pitch to highlight the qualities of yours that are consistent with their business model. Many employers will be more willing to give you a chance if they think you have the best interest of the company at heart. \\nMake it evident to the person you’re meeting with that you want a job with their company, not just any company.\\nAvoid saying things like “I need a job” or “I heard you were hiring.” You’ll make a much better impression if you appear to be actively pursuing the job you’re asking for.\\n2-4. Establish a mutual connection.\\nPoint out the things that you have in common with your contact, such as a close friend or associate. If somebody you know referred you to the job, be sure to mention them by name as someone that can vouch for your character. Networking is an important part of the job search because it suggests that you can be trusted.\\nBring up your relationship with your connection in a way that sounds organic. For instance, you could say “my friend Christina told me that she loved working with you” or “my uncle has always been a satisfied client of yours.”\\nDon’t rely on name dropping to get you hired. You should be able to secure the job on your own merits—having a friend or two in common just helps.\\n2-5. Use plural language.\\nInstead of referring to yourself in the first person, use words like “us,” “we” and “our.” When you talk like you’re already a part of the team, the person you’re speaking to will begin to see you that way. This may make them more likely to seal the deal and bring you onboard.\\nListen for the other person to start using plural language as well. This is a good sign that you’re winning them over.\\n2-6. Find out how you can follow up.\\nIf you’re uncomfortable with the thought of boldly asking for the job, you can try moving things along in another way. Before you leave or hang up the phone, see if you can get more information about the next phase of the hiring process. Ask questions like \\\"when would be a good time for me to call you back and go over some of this information in more detail?\\\"\\nRequest feedback to get an idea of how you did, or what you could do differently next time.\\nFor most employers, the fact that you’re already looking forward to what you can do next will be taken as a promising sign.\\n3. Presenting Yourself Professionally\\n3-1. Put some effort into your appearance.\\nBefore you show up for an interview or a friendly sit down, take some time to pick out a set of attire that fits you well and is appropriate for the occasion. You want to look sharp, but don’t be too casual or make a spectacle of yourself. Remember to comb your hair, brush your teeth and make sure that your clothing is free of dust and wrinkles.\\nIn addition to the obvious, be sure to wear deodorant, clean beneath your fingernails and keep facial hair shaved or trimmed.\\nAs the old saying goes, “dress for the job you want.” If you look the part, potential employers will be better able to envision you in the position.\\n3-2. Communicate clearly and effectively.\\nAim for a tone that’s relaxed and friendly yet professional. When you’re not talking, listen attentively without interrupting. The person you’re speaking to should be just as comfortable with you as you are with them. Give detailed answers to the questions you’re asked, but resist the urge to boast or talk about yourself at length.\\nDo your best not to stutter, mumble or use a lot of filler noises like “um” and “ah.”\\nIf you’re asking for a job via email, take care to use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar. Proofread the message carefully before you send it.\\n3-3. Be tenacious.\\nJust because you don’t get a job offer right away doesn’t mean that you never will. It may be that the specific position hasn’t opened up yet, or that whoever’s in charge needs more time to interview other applicants. Follow up with a phone call or email within a few days to let someone know that you’re still interested and hopeful to hear back.\\nConfidence speaks volumes. Sometimes, what you lack in direct experience you can make up for in being self-assured.\\nWhile determination is a good trait to have, you should learn to take no for an answer.\\nDon’t be too discouraged if you don't get the job—thank the person for their time, then redouble your efforts and make sure you’re prepared for the next opportunity that comes along.\\nTips\\nAlways get in touch with the company yourself, via phone, email or a direct visit. Don’t expect someone else to do the asking on your behalf.\\nIf possible, arrange to meet with your potential employer face to face. That way, they’ll get a glimpse of your personality and not just how you look on paper.\\nEnd a formal interview by asking whether they would be willing to consider you for the position. There’s no sense in beating around the bush—you both know why you’re there.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid begging or groveling if you’re not offered the job right away. This may annoy the employer and make you come across as needy.\\nDon’t contact someone about professional matters through their personal phone number, email or social media accounts unless they’ve told you it’s alright to do so.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To land the job of your dreams, sometimes you simply have to be willing to ask for it. Whether you’re looking to jumpstart your career or just pick up some extra hours over summer vacation, it’s important to present yourself in a way that leaves a lasting impression on your prospective employer. You should make an effort to look your best, express yourself effectively and display a positive, never-say-die attitude that will recommend you as a natural choice for the job.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Securing the Job you Want\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find the best possible contact.\", \"描述\": \"Do a little research to find out who’s in charge of making hiring decisions for the company you wish to work for. For small private businesses this may be the owner themselves, or it may be a human resources officer or staffing director at a big corporation. Going through the appropriate channels is the first step toward gaining an audience.\\nWith most retail and service jobs, you can simply walk in and request to speak to a manager.\\nIf you have a friend or acquaintance that works for the company, see if they could give you some advice or help set up a meeting between you and one of the higher ups.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take the direct approach.\", \"描述\": \"Once you get a chance to speak to someone with some influence, let them know up front that you’re interested in working for them. Show them that you’re eager, enthusiastic and ready to work hard. Chances are, they’ll be impressed by your initiative.\\nThe key is to be assertive, but not too forceful. Never make demands of an employer or come in with a sense of entitlement.\\nOpen with a statement like \\\"I think I would be a very good fit for your company\\\" or \\\"I believe my ideas and ambition could be of real service to your operations.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send an email.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to attach your resume, an original cover letter explaining why you're interested in the job and a link to the open position, if it was posted online. These days, most established companies screen potential employees electronically, so this will be your first opportunity to make contact with the people you could be working for in the future. Emailing an employer directly is much more personable than mass-posting your resume to various job search websites.\\nBe explicit about the purpose of the email with a subject line like \\\"Senior Editor Position.\\\"\\nAlways be cordial, professional and prompt in your email correspondence. Hiring supervisors pay close attention to the way prospective employees communicate.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Schedule a time for a sit down.\", \"描述\": \"In some instances, the person offering a job might be a family friend, acquaintance or former business associate. If this is the case, it will usually be okay to meet with them casually to discuss the details of the job. Find a time that fits the employer's schedule and be prepared to tell them a little about yourself and what you're looking for.\\nSet up a meeting by calling or speaking to the employer in person ahead of time.\\nEven if it's not a formal interview, you should plan on showing up early and looking respectable.\\nDon't assume that you'll be guaranteed a job just because you know someone. You should treat the sit down with the same respect and consideration you would any other professional situation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Yourself Attractive to the Employer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"List your qualifications.\", \"描述\": \"Describe yourself and your experience in the field. Include an overview of your recent job history, as well as any relevant education and volunteering opportunities. Don’t assume that the person in charge of hiring will recognize the value of your skills immediately—make them see how they will prove useful.\\nDon’t just recite what’s on your resume. Explain to the employer how those qualifications can be applied and adapted: \\\"as you can see, my four years as a teacher have provided valuable experience in working closely with groups of all different ages.\\\"\\nIf you don’t have any experience to speak of, focus on the aspects of your personality that you think would make you a good fit for the position.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate your usefulness.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t wait until you’ve been hired to start being an asset for the company. Be proactive and tell your contact or interviewer exactly what sort of things you would bring to the table. Doing this shows resourcefulness and makes it clear that you’ve put serious thought into filling the position you’re seeking.\\nEntice the employer with an idea on how to boost productivity, a writing sample or an example of a program you helped develop.\\nThis is often as simple as mentioning past accomplishments like \\\"at my last job I helped overhaul the new employee training program,\\\" or hinting at future ones like \\\"I look forward to seeing how working in a more organized kitchen will help me improve my skills as a cook.\\\"\\nProviding a preview of the kind of work you do can help you showcase your practical abilities, allowing the company to feel confident in their decision to hire you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show an interest in the business.\", \"描述\": \"Read up on the company’s history, goals and product or service to familiarize yourself with what they’re all about. Then, tailor your pitch to highlight the qualities of yours that are consistent with their business model. Many employers will be more willing to give you a chance if they think you have the best interest of the company at heart. \\nMake it evident to the person you’re meeting with that you want a job with their company, not just any company.\\nAvoid saying things like “I need a job” or “I heard you were hiring.” You’ll make a much better impression if you appear to be actively pursuing the job you’re asking for.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Establish a mutual connection.\", \"描述\": \"Point out the things that you have in common with your contact, such as a close friend or associate. If somebody you know referred you to the job, be sure to mention them by name as someone that can vouch for your character. Networking is an important part of the job search because it suggests that you can be trusted.\\nBring up your relationship with your connection in a way that sounds organic. For instance, you could say “my friend Christina told me that she loved working with you” or “my uncle has always been a satisfied client of yours.”\\nDon’t rely on name dropping to get you hired. You should be able to secure the job on your own merits—having a friend or two in common just helps.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use plural language.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of referring to yourself in the first person, use words like “us,” “we” and “our.” When you talk like you’re already a part of the team, the person you’re speaking to will begin to see you that way. This may make them more likely to seal the deal and bring you onboard.\\nListen for the other person to start using plural language as well. This is a good sign that you’re winning them over.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Find out how you can follow up.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re uncomfortable with the thought of boldly asking for the job, you can try moving things along in another way. Before you leave or hang up the phone, see if you can get more information about the next phase of the hiring process. Ask questions like \\\"when would be a good time for me to call you back and go over some of this information in more detail?\\\"\\nRequest feedback to get an idea of how you did, or what you could do differently next time.\\nFor most employers, the fact that you’re already looking forward to what you can do next will be taken as a promising sign.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Presenting Yourself Professionally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put some effort into your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Before you show up for an interview or a friendly sit down, take some time to pick out a set of attire that fits you well and is appropriate for the occasion. You want to look sharp, but don’t be too casual or make a spectacle of yourself. Remember to comb your hair, brush your teeth and make sure that your clothing is free of dust and wrinkles.\\nIn addition to the obvious, be sure to wear deodorant, clean beneath your fingernails and keep facial hair shaved or trimmed.\\nAs the old saying goes, “dress for the job you want.” If you look the part, potential employers will be better able to envision you in the position.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicate clearly and effectively.\", \"描述\": \"Aim for a tone that’s relaxed and friendly yet professional. When you’re not talking, listen attentively without interrupting. The person you’re speaking to should be just as comfortable with you as you are with them. Give detailed answers to the questions you’re asked, but resist the urge to boast or talk about yourself at length.\\nDo your best not to stutter, mumble or use a lot of filler noises like “um” and “ah.”\\nIf you’re asking for a job via email, take care to use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar. Proofread the message carefully before you send it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be tenacious.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you don’t get a job offer right away doesn’t mean that you never will. It may be that the specific position hasn’t opened up yet, or that whoever’s in charge needs more time to interview other applicants. Follow up with a phone call or email within a few days to let someone know that you’re still interested and hopeful to hear back.\\nConfidence speaks volumes. Sometimes, what you lack in direct experience you can make up for in being self-assured.\\nWhile determination is a good trait to have, you should learn to take no for an answer.\\nDon’t be too discouraged if you don't get the job—thank the person for their time, then redouble your efforts and make sure you’re prepared for the next opportunity that comes along.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always get in touch with the company yourself, via phone, email or a direct visit. Don’t expect someone else to do the asking on your behalf.\\n\", \"If possible, arrange to meet with your potential employer face to face. That way, they’ll get a glimpse of your personality and not just how you look on paper.\\n\", \"End a formal interview by asking whether they would be willing to consider you for the position. There’s no sense in beating around the bush—you both know why you’re there.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid begging or groveling if you’re not offered the job right away. This may annoy the employer and make you come across as needy.\\n\", \"Don’t contact someone about professional matters through their personal phone number, email or social media accounts unless they’ve told you it’s alright to do so.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,468 | How to Ask Someone for a Ride | 1. Preparing to Ask for a Ride
1-1. Make sure you’ve first considered other options.
As mentioned in the introduction, there are plenty of alternate ways of getting somewhere. Think about whether it might be possible to walk, bike, or take a bus, train, cab, or rideshare. If none of these options are available to you, or they would require unreasonable hardship, then you might consider asking someone for a lift.
A good rule of thumb when asking someone a favor is to make sure that the benefit to you significantly outweighs the inconvenience it might cause the other person.
1-2. Don’t assume that just because someone has a car, they can give you a ride.
While whether or not someone owns or has easy access to a car is the first thing you should consider when deciding to ask for a ride, don’t make assumptions about their availability or willingness. Even if they’ve given you a ride once, twice, or a hundred times before, don’t take it for granted that they’ll be able to help you every time you need to get somewhere.
1-3. Decide whom you’ll ask.
If you have a relationship with someone where you’re already in the practice of regularly doing favors for each other, such as those that are common between family members, romantic partners, or close friends, this is ideal. Otherwise, consider who might be least inconvenienced by your request.
If you need a ride home from work, consider asking the coworker that you know drives by your street every day, anyway. Or if you are going to dinner with a group of friends, maybe ask the friend that lives closest to you for a lift to the restaurant.
Make sure you consider lifestyle factors, too. If you have a friend with two small children, or who’s been working a lot of overtime lately, they will likely need to be more conservative with their extra time and energy than your friend who teaches guitar lessons three afternoons a week and still lives with his parents. If your cousin wakes up early every morning for her job, you probably don’t want to ask her for a ride to the airport to catch your red eye flight. Or a friend who works as a bartender probably won’t be very excited about bringing you to pick up your car from the body shop at seven a.m. on a Saturday.
It’s extremely important that you know the other person well enough to be sure you feel safe spending time alone with them. It’s never a good idea to get into a car with a near-stranger, or someone with whom you don’t feel comfortable.
2. Asking Someone for a Ride
2-1. Don’t beat around the bush.
When you’ve decided whom you’ll ask, you’ll want to be forthcoming about your intentions at the beginning of the conversation. If you try to make small talk about other things first the entire conversation can come off as disingenuous when you finally come around to the point.
It’s also a good idea to begin the conversation with something along the lines of “Hi so-and-so, I have a favor to ask you…”. Not only is this appropriately straightforward, but using the word “favor” also shows that you understand the person would be going our of their way for you, whereas “Could you please give me a ride to work tomorrow?” could run the risk of sounding like a command, and therefore off-putting.
2-2. Don’t put them on the spot.
If you know you are going to need a ride somewhere, don’t wait until the last minute to ask. Give the other person as much advance notice as possible, so that they can factor it into their schedule that day.
This also goes for asking for a ride in front of other people. Many people have a difficult time saying no if there is an audience, and they might suspect that you are capitalizing on this.
2-3. Offer to help pay for gas.
While this is recommended any time you take a ride from someone, it is an absolute must in the instance that someone is picking you up and bringing you somewhere they don’t also need to be, such as the airport, a doctor’s appointment, or a job interview.
Often people will refuse to take your money, but don’t count on this! Make sure you have cash on had to give them, just in case.
2-4. Take no for an answer.
If someone says they’re unable to give you a ride, don’t press the issue. Resist asking for an explanation, and don’t argue or challenge them. Instead, be gracious and thank them for their time.
3. Being a Good Carpool Companion
3-1. Make it as easy as possible for the person who is giving you the ride.
Putting in a little extra time and effort on your end shows the person that you are taking their time and effort into consideration, and that you value the favor they are doing for you. Here are a few examples of ways you might make the experience easier for them:
If your destination is a place regularly frequented by most people, such as the grocery store, offer to accompany them whenever they are next planning to go, rather than requesting they make a special trip.
If you live at the corner of a difficult intersection, offer to walk a block or two in order to meet them where it’s easier to pull over.
If they are giving you a ride somewhere that they may have never been before, make sure you have clear directions, or have the address already plugged into the map function on your smart phone.
Be ready to go at least five minutes before you expect them to show up, so that they won’t have to wait for you in the instance that they are running a few minutes ahead of schedule.
3-2. Be pleasant in the car.
Try to make the other person’s experience of being in the car with you as enjoyable as possible. This is not only respectful, but it will also increase the likelihood of this person agreeing to help you in the future. Often being pleasant is just a matter of not doing certain annoying things:
Don’t criticize the person’s car, for instance, no matter how beat up or messy it is.
Don't criticize their driving, and avoid being a "backseat driver".
Don’t fiddle with any of the car’s dials. Even if they are listening to most boring talk radio station ever, or the air conditioning is freezing your face off. If you absolutely must, ask the driver politely if they'd be willing to change the radio station or turn the air down.
Don’t be a chatterbox. If the other person wants to talk, that’s great! But if they don’t seem like they are interested in chatting, let yourself be comfortable with the silence. Some people need quiet in order to concentrate while they drive, or they might be particularly interested in what they’re listening to on the radio.
3-3. Plan to reciprocate.
While you might not be able to pay the person back in kind, you should still find a way to show your appreciation. What this entails exactly will depend on your preexisting relationship with the person, and the degree of inconvenience to them.
If you get a ride home from a coworker who lives in the same building as you, a simple text saying “Thanks again for the ride! I really appreciate it!” might suffice. But if a friend wakes up at three thirty in the morning to drive you an hour to the airport, you probably want to consider something a little more meaningful. Perhaps you can pick them up a small gift on your trip, or treat them to dinner when you get back.
However, if you are dealing with prohibitive financial issues and can’t afford a gift or dinner, a thoughtful, hand-written thank you card will work, too.
Make sure to do this after they have agreed to help you, as otherwise it can seem like you’re trying to obligate them. For instance, don’t bake your friend cookies and as she’s biting into the first one, ask her for a ride to the dentist next Friday.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Ask for a Ride\\n1-1. Make sure you’ve first considered other options.\\nAs mentioned in the introduction, there are plenty of alternate ways of getting somewhere. Think about whether it might be possible to walk, bike, or take a bus, train, cab, or rideshare. If none of these options are available to you, or they would require unreasonable hardship, then you might consider asking someone for a lift. \\nA good rule of thumb when asking someone a favor is to make sure that the benefit to you significantly outweighs the inconvenience it might cause the other person.\\n1-2. Don’t assume that just because someone has a car, they can give you a ride.\\nWhile whether or not someone owns or has easy access to a car is the first thing you should consider when deciding to ask for a ride, don’t make assumptions about their availability or willingness. Even if they’ve given you a ride once, twice, or a hundred times before, don’t take it for granted that they’ll be able to help you every time you need to get somewhere.\\n1-3. Decide whom you’ll ask.\\nIf you have a relationship with someone where you’re already in the practice of regularly doing favors for each other, such as those that are common between family members, romantic partners, or close friends, this is ideal. Otherwise, consider who might be least inconvenienced by your request.\\nIf you need a ride home from work, consider asking the coworker that you know drives by your street every day, anyway. Or if you are going to dinner with a group of friends, maybe ask the friend that lives closest to you for a lift to the restaurant.\\nMake sure you consider lifestyle factors, too. If you have a friend with two small children, or who’s been working a lot of overtime lately, they will likely need to be more conservative with their extra time and energy than your friend who teaches guitar lessons three afternoons a week and still lives with his parents. If your cousin wakes up early every morning for her job, you probably don’t want to ask her for a ride to the airport to catch your red eye flight. Or a friend who works as a bartender probably won’t be very excited about bringing you to pick up your car from the body shop at seven a.m. on a Saturday.\\nIt’s extremely important that you know the other person well enough to be sure you feel safe spending time alone with them. It’s never a good idea to get into a car with a near-stranger, or someone with whom you don’t feel comfortable.\\n2. Asking Someone for a Ride\\n2-1. Don’t beat around the bush.\\nWhen you’ve decided whom you’ll ask, you’ll want to be forthcoming about your intentions at the beginning of the conversation. If you try to make small talk about other things first the entire conversation can come off as disingenuous when you finally come around to the point. \\nIt’s also a good idea to begin the conversation with something along the lines of “Hi so-and-so, I have a favor to ask you…”. Not only is this appropriately straightforward, but using the word “favor” also shows that you understand the person would be going our of their way for you, whereas “Could you please give me a ride to work tomorrow?” could run the risk of sounding like a command, and therefore off-putting.\\n2-2. Don’t put them on the spot.\\nIf you know you are going to need a ride somewhere, don’t wait until the last minute to ask. Give the other person as much advance notice as possible, so that they can factor it into their schedule that day.\\nThis also goes for asking for a ride in front of other people. Many people have a difficult time saying no if there is an audience, and they might suspect that you are capitalizing on this.\\n2-3. Offer to help pay for gas.\\nWhile this is recommended any time you take a ride from someone, it is an absolute must in the instance that someone is picking you up and bringing you somewhere they don’t also need to be, such as the airport, a doctor’s appointment, or a job interview.\\nOften people will refuse to take your money, but don’t count on this! Make sure you have cash on had to give them, just in case.\\n2-4. Take no for an answer.\\nIf someone says they’re unable to give you a ride, don’t press the issue. Resist asking for an explanation, and don’t argue or challenge them. Instead, be gracious and thank them for their time.\\n3. Being a Good Carpool Companion\\n3-1. Make it as easy as possible for the person who is giving you the ride.\\nPutting in a little extra time and effort on your end shows the person that you are taking their time and effort into consideration, and that you value the favor they are doing for you. Here are a few examples of ways you might make the experience easier for them:\\nIf your destination is a place regularly frequented by most people, such as the grocery store, offer to accompany them whenever they are next planning to go, rather than requesting they make a special trip.\\nIf you live at the corner of a difficult intersection, offer to walk a block or two in order to meet them where it’s easier to pull over.\\nIf they are giving you a ride somewhere that they may have never been before, make sure you have clear directions, or have the address already plugged into the map function on your smart phone.\\nBe ready to go at least five minutes before you expect them to show up, so that they won’t have to wait for you in the instance that they are running a few minutes ahead of schedule.\\n3-2. Be pleasant in the car.\\nTry to make the other person’s experience of being in the car with you as enjoyable as possible. This is not only respectful, but it will also increase the likelihood of this person agreeing to help you in the future. Often being pleasant is just a matter of not doing certain annoying things:\\nDon’t criticize the person’s car, for instance, no matter how beat up or messy it is.\\nDon't criticize their driving, and avoid being a \\\"backseat driver\\\".\\nDon’t fiddle with any of the car’s dials. Even if they are listening to most boring talk radio station ever, or the air conditioning is freezing your face off. If you absolutely must, ask the driver politely if they'd be willing to change the radio station or turn the air down.\\nDon’t be a chatterbox. If the other person wants to talk, that’s great! But if they don’t seem like they are interested in chatting, let yourself be comfortable with the silence. Some people need quiet in order to concentrate while they drive, or they might be particularly interested in what they’re listening to on the radio.\\n3-3. Plan to reciprocate.\\nWhile you might not be able to pay the person back in kind, you should still find a way to show your appreciation. What this entails exactly will depend on your preexisting relationship with the person, and the degree of inconvenience to them.\\nIf you get a ride home from a coworker who lives in the same building as you, a simple text saying “Thanks again for the ride! I really appreciate it!” might suffice. But if a friend wakes up at three thirty in the morning to drive you an hour to the airport, you probably want to consider something a little more meaningful. Perhaps you can pick them up a small gift on your trip, or treat them to dinner when you get back.\\nHowever, if you are dealing with prohibitive financial issues and can’t afford a gift or dinner, a thoughtful, hand-written thank you card will work, too.\\nMake sure to do this after they have agreed to help you, as otherwise it can seem like you’re trying to obligate them. For instance, don’t bake your friend cookies and as she’s biting into the first one, ask her for a ride to the dentist next Friday.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you aren't able to drive, you don't own a car, or the car you own isn't working. While there are plenty of alternate ways of getting around, such as walking, biking, taking a bus or train, these methods aren't always available or convenient. Asking someone for a ride can feel overwhelming, but with a little thoughtfulness, the process can actually be relatively painless for both you and the other person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Ask for a Ride\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure you’ve first considered other options.\", \"描述\": \"As mentioned in the introduction, there are plenty of alternate ways of getting somewhere. Think about whether it might be possible to walk, bike, or take a bus, train, cab, or rideshare. If none of these options are available to you, or they would require unreasonable hardship, then you might consider asking someone for a lift. \\nA good rule of thumb when asking someone a favor is to make sure that the benefit to you significantly outweighs the inconvenience it might cause the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t assume that just because someone has a car, they can give you a ride.\", \"描述\": \"While whether or not someone owns or has easy access to a car is the first thing you should consider when deciding to ask for a ride, don’t make assumptions about their availability or willingness. Even if they’ve given you a ride once, twice, or a hundred times before, don’t take it for granted that they’ll be able to help you every time you need to get somewhere.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Decide whom you’ll ask.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a relationship with someone where you’re already in the practice of regularly doing favors for each other, such as those that are common between family members, romantic partners, or close friends, this is ideal. Otherwise, consider who might be least inconvenienced by your request.\\nIf you need a ride home from work, consider asking the coworker that you know drives by your street every day, anyway. Or if you are going to dinner with a group of friends, maybe ask the friend that lives closest to you for a lift to the restaurant.\\nMake sure you consider lifestyle factors, too. If you have a friend with two small children, or who’s been working a lot of overtime lately, they will likely need to be more conservative with their extra time and energy than your friend who teaches guitar lessons three afternoons a week and still lives with his parents. If your cousin wakes up early every morning for her job, you probably don’t want to ask her for a ride to the airport to catch your red eye flight. Or a friend who works as a bartender probably won’t be very excited about bringing you to pick up your car from the body shop at seven a.m. on a Saturday.\\nIt’s extremely important that you know the other person well enough to be sure you feel safe spending time alone with them. It’s never a good idea to get into a car with a near-stranger, or someone with whom you don’t feel comfortable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Someone for a Ride\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t beat around the bush.\", \"描述\": \"When you’ve decided whom you’ll ask, you’ll want to be forthcoming about your intentions at the beginning of the conversation. If you try to make small talk about other things first the entire conversation can come off as disingenuous when you finally come around to the point. \\nIt’s also a good idea to begin the conversation with something along the lines of “Hi so-and-so, I have a favor to ask you…”. Not only is this appropriately straightforward, but using the word “favor” also shows that you understand the person would be going our of their way for you, whereas “Could you please give me a ride to work tomorrow?” could run the risk of sounding like a command, and therefore off-putting.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t put them on the spot.\", \"描述\": \"If you know you are going to need a ride somewhere, don’t wait until the last minute to ask. Give the other person as much advance notice as possible, so that they can factor it into their schedule that day.\\nThis also goes for asking for a ride in front of other people. Many people have a difficult time saying no if there is an audience, and they might suspect that you are capitalizing on this.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offer to help pay for gas.\", \"描述\": \"While this is recommended any time you take a ride from someone, it is an absolute must in the instance that someone is picking you up and bringing you somewhere they don’t also need to be, such as the airport, a doctor’s appointment, or a job interview.\\nOften people will refuse to take your money, but don’t count on this! Make sure you have cash on had to give them, just in case.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take no for an answer.\", \"描述\": \"If someone says they’re unable to give you a ride, don’t press the issue. Resist asking for an explanation, and don’t argue or challenge them. Instead, be gracious and thank them for their time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being a Good Carpool Companion\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make it as easy as possible for the person who is giving you the ride.\", \"描述\": \"Putting in a little extra time and effort on your end shows the person that you are taking their time and effort into consideration, and that you value the favor they are doing for you. Here are a few examples of ways you might make the experience easier for them:\\nIf your destination is a place regularly frequented by most people, such as the grocery store, offer to accompany them whenever they are next planning to go, rather than requesting they make a special trip.\\nIf you live at the corner of a difficult intersection, offer to walk a block or two in order to meet them where it’s easier to pull over.\\nIf they are giving you a ride somewhere that they may have never been before, make sure you have clear directions, or have the address already plugged into the map function on your smart phone.\\nBe ready to go at least five minutes before you expect them to show up, so that they won’t have to wait for you in the instance that they are running a few minutes ahead of schedule.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be pleasant in the car.\", \"描述\": \"Try to make the other person’s experience of being in the car with you as enjoyable as possible. This is not only respectful, but it will also increase the likelihood of this person agreeing to help you in the future. Often being pleasant is just a matter of not doing certain annoying things:\\nDon’t criticize the person’s car, for instance, no matter how beat up or messy it is.\\nDon't criticize their driving, and avoid being a \\\"backseat driver\\\".\\nDon’t fiddle with any of the car’s dials. Even if they are listening to most boring talk radio station ever, or the air conditioning is freezing your face off. If you absolutely must, ask the driver politely if they'd be willing to change the radio station or turn the air down.\\nDon’t be a chatterbox. If the other person wants to talk, that’s great! But if they don’t seem like they are interested in chatting, let yourself be comfortable with the silence. Some people need quiet in order to concentrate while they drive, or they might be particularly interested in what they’re listening to on the radio.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plan to reciprocate.\", \"描述\": \"While you might not be able to pay the person back in kind, you should still find a way to show your appreciation. What this entails exactly will depend on your preexisting relationship with the person, and the degree of inconvenience to them.\\nIf you get a ride home from a coworker who lives in the same building as you, a simple text saying “Thanks again for the ride! I really appreciate it!” might suffice. But if a friend wakes up at three thirty in the morning to drive you an hour to the airport, you probably want to consider something a little more meaningful. Perhaps you can pick them up a small gift on your trip, or treat them to dinner when you get back.\\nHowever, if you are dealing with prohibitive financial issues and can’t afford a gift or dinner, a thoughtful, hand-written thank you card will work, too.\\nMake sure to do this after they have agreed to help you, as otherwise it can seem like you’re trying to obligate them. For instance, don’t bake your friend cookies and as she’s biting into the first one, ask her for a ride to the dentist next Friday.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,469 | How to Ask Someone for a Video Date | 1. Look for signs that they're interested.
A few tell-tale clues can tell you if it’s time to schedule that video date.
Check how often the person messages you—they’re probably interested if they’re texting you frequently. Plus, take a closer look at what they’re sending. Generally, a text with friendly emojis is a sure sign that they’d like to go on a video date with you.
If they’re interested, they might also reply to your texts quickly and have plenty of in-depth conversations with you.
For example, if they text you a blushing smile or a smirk emoji, there’s a chance they might be interested in something.
2. Suggest a video date while you’re chatting over the phone.
Phone calls are a great starting point and can be a lot less intimidating than video calls.
As your phone conversation starts to wind down, ask your date if they’d like to video chat next time. If they don’t feel comfortable yet, put the idea on the back burner for another time.
After the call, you might shoot your date a text saying, “It was so nice talking with you! Wanna try FaceTime or Zoom for our next chat?” or “Feeling up to a FaceTime call this weekend? I’ve got lots of free time on Saturday.”
If you’re feeling especially ambitious, you could suggest a video date at the beginning of the phone call. You might say, “I know this out of the blue, but do you feel up for a FaceTime call?” or “I’d love to ‘meet’ you, even if it’s just virtually. Would you like to do Skype call?”
3. Try inviting them to a video date over text.
Suggest your idea before the conversation really gets going.
Shoot them a brief message and see if they’d be interested in switching to video chat. If they’d like to give it a shot, decide on a video platform to use so you can get things going. If they don’t seem super interested at the time, reassure them that there’s no pressure and that you can always video call another time.
You might say, “As much as I enjoy texting, I’d love to be able to put a face to a name? Are you feeling up for a FaceTime call?” or “Wanna change things up? I was thinking we could try a video call tonight.”
4. Pick a video chat service that you both use.
FaceTime, WhatsApp, and Facebook Messenger are all fair game.
Lots of different chatting and social media platforms have their own video chat software, which can get your date up-and-running with the touch of a button. Ask your date if they’re on social media, or if they have an iPhone or iPad that they can FaceTime with. Zoom, Google Meet, Google Duo, Microsoft Teams, Spike, and Telegram are other ways to host a video date.
Some dating apps have built-in video chat features, like Bumble, Badoo, The League, and The Intro. Tinder also has a video chat service called “Face to Face.”
You could say, “Would you like to FaceTime later?” or “Are you up to anything this Saturday? If you aren’t busy, I was thinking we set up a video date on Facebook Messenger.”
5. Invite them to a virtual dinner date.
Ask your date to cook dinner with you via their phone, tablet, or laptop.
Invite them to pick up the ingredients for their favorite meal. Then, you can both watch each other cook from the comfort of your own kitchens. Once the food is ready, sit down at the table with your phone, tablet, or laptop.
For instance, you might suggest, “Want to have a virtual date? We can FaceTime while making dinner this Friday.”
You could say, “My future dinner plans include spaghetti and meatballs, but I’d love if you could there, too. Free for a Zoom call on Sunday night?”
Cooking a meal together might be a bit much for your very first video call together. If you’d prefer to take things slow, you could always make the meal ahead of time, pick up some takeout, or invite them to a virtual “happy hour.”
6. Embark on a wine-tasting adventure.
Invite your date to try new wines with you from the comforts of home.
Encourage your date to order or pick up a specific type of wine. During your video call, you can sip your wine at the same time and compare notes. This is a surefire way to make your video date extra classy.
You might say, “Are you busy Thursday night? I was thinking we could Skype call and go on a virtual wine tour together.”
You could even say, “I bought this new Merlot that I’m dying to try. Would you want to pick up a bottle and try it with me? We could meet up for a call on Google Duo.”
If you’re calling your date on Zoom, set your virtual background to a vineyard to really set the mood.
7. Arrange a movie night.
Treat your video date like a classic night at the movies.
Queue up a movie on Netflix and invite your date to tune in using the Teleparty add-on. While this technically isn’t a “video” date, you’ll get plenty of one-on-one time together during your virtual movie night.
You could say, “A new movie just dropped on Netflix yesterday. Wanna watch it with me tomorrow night?”
If your date has a Hulu account, you could set up a virtual movie night with the Hulu Watch Party feature. Disney Plus also has a “GroupWatch” feature for members.
8. Plan a virtual game night.
Games are a great way to bond with your date.
Suggest some online games to your significant other, like Jackbox Party Packs or an online board game, like Clue or Monopoly. The Houseparty app is another great way to have lots of virtual fun with your date. You could say:
“Up for a game of virtual Monopoly tonight? We could make it a date.”
“Wanna play Jackbox tonight? I can stream it on Zoom.”
9. Organize a get-to-know-you night.
Icebreakers and video dates go hand in hand.
Search online to find some fun “get to know you” questions, like “Are you a dog or cat person?” or “What’s your favorite pizza topping?” Then, invite your date to a fun, virtual night of silly questions and surprisingly deep thinking.
You could say, “Hey! I’ve really enjoyed talking to you over the past few days. Are you free for a video call this weekend? I’d love to get to know you better.”
You might suggest, “I found this ridiculous list of ‘would you rather’ questions on Twitter. Want to video call and check them out?”
10. Schedule a virtual museum visit.
Believe it or not, you can go on a museum date from the comfort of your own home.
The world-famous Louvre, J. Paul Getty Museum, Smithsonian, and National Women’s History Museum all offer virtual tours and exhibits. For a really intimate date-night experience, share your screen during the video call. This way, you and your date can “tour” the museum at the same time.
You might suggest, “Wanna go on a video date tonight? You’re one Zoom call away from heading to the Louvre.”
11. Suggest a trip to the zoo.
Virtual zoo tours make for a memorable night in.
If your date is an animal lover, a trip to the zoo could be a great incentive for a video date. Share your screen through a video call, where you and your date can admire baby eagles, polar bears, wolves, and countless other wild animals.
You can stream virtual zoo tours on YouTube, or watch live wildlife cams.
You could say, “You free this Friday? I know you’ll be stuck at home, but I was hoping we could check out this virtual zoo tour together.” or “You know what’s better than date night? Date night PLUS baby animals! I found some great videos I can show you over Zoom, if you want.”
12. Coordinate a video concert date.
You can find lots of concert recordings on YouTube.
Ask your date what kind of music they like, and see what search results come up on YouTube. Then, invite them to spend a virtual night in with you, where you can jam out over video chat.
You could suggest, “I had no idea that Queen’s performance at Wembley Stadium was on YouTube! Wanna give it a watch with me on Skype?”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Look for signs that they're interested.\\nA few tell-tale clues can tell you if it’s time to schedule that video date.\\nCheck how often the person messages you—they’re probably interested if they’re texting you frequently. Plus, take a closer look at what they’re sending. Generally, a text with friendly emojis is a sure sign that they’d like to go on a video date with you.\\nIf they’re interested, they might also reply to your texts quickly and have plenty of in-depth conversations with you.\\nFor example, if they text you a blushing smile or a smirk emoji, there’s a chance they might be interested in something.\\n2. Suggest a video date while you’re chatting over the phone.\\nPhone calls are a great starting point and can be a lot less intimidating than video calls.\\nAs your phone conversation starts to wind down, ask your date if they’d like to video chat next time. If they don’t feel comfortable yet, put the idea on the back burner for another time.\\nAfter the call, you might shoot your date a text saying, “It was so nice talking with you! Wanna try FaceTime or Zoom for our next chat?” or “Feeling up to a FaceTime call this weekend? I’ve got lots of free time on Saturday.”\\nIf you’re feeling especially ambitious, you could suggest a video date at the beginning of the phone call. You might say, “I know this out of the blue, but do you feel up for a FaceTime call?” or “I’d love to ‘meet’ you, even if it’s just virtually. Would you like to do Skype call?”\\n3. Try inviting them to a video date over text.\\nSuggest your idea before the conversation really gets going.\\nShoot them a brief message and see if they’d be interested in switching to video chat. If they’d like to give it a shot, decide on a video platform to use so you can get things going. If they don’t seem super interested at the time, reassure them that there’s no pressure and that you can always video call another time.\\nYou might say, “As much as I enjoy texting, I’d love to be able to put a face to a name? Are you feeling up for a FaceTime call?” or “Wanna change things up? I was thinking we could try a video call tonight.”\\n4. Pick a video chat service that you both use.\\nFaceTime, WhatsApp, and Facebook Messenger are all fair game.\\nLots of different chatting and social media platforms have their own video chat software, which can get your date up-and-running with the touch of a button. Ask your date if they’re on social media, or if they have an iPhone or iPad that they can FaceTime with. Zoom, Google Meet, Google Duo, Microsoft Teams, Spike, and Telegram are other ways to host a video date.\\nSome dating apps have built-in video chat features, like Bumble, Badoo, The League, and The Intro. Tinder also has a video chat service called “Face to Face.”\\nYou could say, “Would you like to FaceTime later?” or “Are you up to anything this Saturday? If you aren’t busy, I was thinking we set up a video date on Facebook Messenger.”\\n5. Invite them to a virtual dinner date.\\nAsk your date to cook dinner with you via their phone, tablet, or laptop.\\nInvite them to pick up the ingredients for their favorite meal. Then, you can both watch each other cook from the comfort of your own kitchens. Once the food is ready, sit down at the table with your phone, tablet, or laptop.\\nFor instance, you might suggest, “Want to have a virtual date? We can FaceTime while making dinner this Friday.”\\nYou could say, “My future dinner plans include spaghetti and meatballs, but I’d love if you could there, too. Free for a Zoom call on Sunday night?”\\nCooking a meal together might be a bit much for your very first video call together. If you’d prefer to take things slow, you could always make the meal ahead of time, pick up some takeout, or invite them to a virtual “happy hour.”\\n6. Embark on a wine-tasting adventure.\\nInvite your date to try new wines with you from the comforts of home.\\nEncourage your date to order or pick up a specific type of wine. During your video call, you can sip your wine at the same time and compare notes. This is a surefire way to make your video date extra classy.\\nYou might say, “Are you busy Thursday night? I was thinking we could Skype call and go on a virtual wine tour together.”\\nYou could even say, “I bought this new Merlot that I’m dying to try. Would you want to pick up a bottle and try it with me? We could meet up for a call on Google Duo.”\\nIf you’re calling your date on Zoom, set your virtual background to a vineyard to really set the mood.\\n7. Arrange a movie night.\\nTreat your video date like a classic night at the movies.\\nQueue up a movie on Netflix and invite your date to tune in using the Teleparty add-on. While this technically isn’t a “video” date, you’ll get plenty of one-on-one time together during your virtual movie night.\\nYou could say, “A new movie just dropped on Netflix yesterday. Wanna watch it with me tomorrow night?”\\nIf your date has a Hulu account, you could set up a virtual movie night with the Hulu Watch Party feature. Disney Plus also has a “GroupWatch” feature for members.\\n8. Plan a virtual game night.\\nGames are a great way to bond with your date.\\nSuggest some online games to your significant other, like Jackbox Party Packs or an online board game, like Clue or Monopoly. The Houseparty app is another great way to have lots of virtual fun with your date. You could say:\\n“Up for a game of virtual Monopoly tonight? We could make it a date.”\\n“Wanna play Jackbox tonight? I can stream it on Zoom.”\\n9. Organize a get-to-know-you night.\\nIcebreakers and video dates go hand in hand.\\nSearch online to find some fun “get to know you” questions, like “Are you a dog or cat person?” or “What’s your favorite pizza topping?” Then, invite your date to a fun, virtual night of silly questions and surprisingly deep thinking.\\nYou could say, “Hey! I’ve really enjoyed talking to you over the past few days. Are you free for a video call this weekend? I’d love to get to know you better.”\\nYou might suggest, “I found this ridiculous list of ‘would you rather’ questions on Twitter. Want to video call and check them out?”\\n10. Schedule a virtual museum visit.\\nBelieve it or not, you can go on a museum date from the comfort of your own home.\\nThe world-famous Louvre, J. Paul Getty Museum, Smithsonian, and National Women’s History Museum all offer virtual tours and exhibits. For a really intimate date-night experience, share your screen during the video call. This way, you and your date can “tour” the museum at the same time.\\nYou might suggest, “Wanna go on a video date tonight? You’re one Zoom call away from heading to the Louvre.”\\n11. Suggest a trip to the zoo.\\nVirtual zoo tours make for a memorable night in.\\nIf your date is an animal lover, a trip to the zoo could be a great incentive for a video date. Share your screen through a video call, where you and your date can admire baby eagles, polar bears, wolves, and countless other wild animals.\\nYou can stream virtual zoo tours on YouTube, or watch live wildlife cams.\\nYou could say, “You free this Friday? I know you’ll be stuck at home, but I was hoping we could check out this virtual zoo tour together.” or “You know what’s better than date night? Date night PLUS baby animals! I found some great videos I can show you over Zoom, if you want.”\\n12. Coordinate a video concert date.\\nYou can find lots of concert recordings on YouTube.\\nAsk your date what kind of music they like, and see what search results come up on YouTube. Then, invite them to spend a virtual night in with you, where you can jam out over video chat.\\nYou could suggest, “I had no idea that Queen’s performance at Wembley Stadium was on YouTube! Wanna give it a watch with me on Skype?”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Video dates are rapidly becoming the norm, whether you’re dating locally or pursuing a long-distance relationship. But how are you supposed to get the digital ball rolling without setting yourself up for a boring date? Don’t worry. We’ve put together plenty of creative and fun ways to ask someone out on a video date that are virtually unforgettable!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for signs that they're interested.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A few tell-tale clues can tell you if it’s time to schedule that video date.\", \"描述\": \"Check how often the person messages you—they’re probably interested if they’re texting you frequently. Plus, take a closer look at what they’re sending. Generally, a text with friendly emojis is a sure sign that they’d like to go on a video date with you.\\nIf they’re interested, they might also reply to your texts quickly and have plenty of in-depth conversations with you.\\nFor example, if they text you a blushing smile or a smirk emoji, there’s a chance they might be interested in something.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Suggest a video date while you’re chatting over the phone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Phone calls are a great starting point and can be a lot less intimidating than video calls.\", \"描述\": \"As your phone conversation starts to wind down, ask your date if they’d like to video chat next time. If they don’t feel comfortable yet, put the idea on the back burner for another time.\\nAfter the call, you might shoot your date a text saying, “It was so nice talking with you! Wanna try FaceTime or Zoom for our next chat?” or “Feeling up to a FaceTime call this weekend? I’ve got lots of free time on Saturday.”\\nIf you’re feeling especially ambitious, you could suggest a video date at the beginning of the phone call. You might say, “I know this out of the blue, but do you feel up for a FaceTime call?” or “I’d love to ‘meet’ you, even if it’s just virtually. Would you like to do Skype call?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try inviting them to a video date over text.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Suggest your idea before the conversation really gets going.\", \"描述\": \"Shoot them a brief message and see if they’d be interested in switching to video chat. If they’d like to give it a shot, decide on a video platform to use so you can get things going. If they don’t seem super interested at the time, reassure them that there’s no pressure and that you can always video call another time.\\nYou might say, “As much as I enjoy texting, I’d love to be able to put a face to a name? Are you feeling up for a FaceTime call?” or “Wanna change things up? I was thinking we could try a video call tonight.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pick a video chat service that you both use.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"FaceTime, WhatsApp, and Facebook Messenger are all fair game.\", \"描述\": \"Lots of different chatting and social media platforms have their own video chat software, which can get your date up-and-running with the touch of a button. Ask your date if they’re on social media, or if they have an iPhone or iPad that they can FaceTime with. Zoom, Google Meet, Google Duo, Microsoft Teams, Spike, and Telegram are other ways to host a video date.\\nSome dating apps have built-in video chat features, like Bumble, Badoo, The League, and The Intro. Tinder also has a video chat service called “Face to Face.”\\nYou could say, “Would you like to FaceTime later?” or “Are you up to anything this Saturday? If you aren’t busy, I was thinking we set up a video date on Facebook Messenger.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Invite them to a virtual dinner date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your date to cook dinner with you via their phone, tablet, or laptop.\", \"描述\": \"Invite them to pick up the ingredients for their favorite meal. Then, you can both watch each other cook from the comfort of your own kitchens. Once the food is ready, sit down at the table with your phone, tablet, or laptop.\\nFor instance, you might suggest, “Want to have a virtual date? We can FaceTime while making dinner this Friday.”\\nYou could say, “My future dinner plans include spaghetti and meatballs, but I’d love if you could there, too. Free for a Zoom call on Sunday night?”\\nCooking a meal together might be a bit much for your very first video call together. If you’d prefer to take things slow, you could always make the meal ahead of time, pick up some takeout, or invite them to a virtual “happy hour.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Embark on a wine-tasting adventure.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invite your date to try new wines with you from the comforts of home.\", \"描述\": \"Encourage your date to order or pick up a specific type of wine. During your video call, you can sip your wine at the same time and compare notes. This is a surefire way to make your video date extra classy.\\nYou might say, “Are you busy Thursday night? I was thinking we could Skype call and go on a virtual wine tour together.”\\nYou could even say, “I bought this new Merlot that I’m dying to try. Would you want to pick up a bottle and try it with me? We could meet up for a call on Google Duo.”\\nIf you’re calling your date on Zoom, set your virtual background to a vineyard to really set the mood.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Arrange a movie night.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treat your video date like a classic night at the movies.\", \"描述\": \"Queue up a movie on Netflix and invite your date to tune in using the Teleparty add-on. While this technically isn’t a “video” date, you’ll get plenty of one-on-one time together during your virtual movie night.\\nYou could say, “A new movie just dropped on Netflix yesterday. Wanna watch it with me tomorrow night?”\\nIf your date has a Hulu account, you could set up a virtual movie night with the Hulu Watch Party feature. Disney Plus also has a “GroupWatch” feature for members.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Plan a virtual game night.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Games are a great way to bond with your date.\", \"描述\": \"Suggest some online games to your significant other, like Jackbox Party Packs or an online board game, like Clue or Monopoly. The Houseparty app is another great way to have lots of virtual fun with your date. You could say:\\n“Up for a game of virtual Monopoly tonight? We could make it a date.”\\n“Wanna play Jackbox tonight? I can stream it on Zoom.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Organize a get-to-know-you night.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Icebreakers and video dates go hand in hand.\", \"描述\": \"Search online to find some fun “get to know you” questions, like “Are you a dog or cat person?” or “What’s your favorite pizza topping?” Then, invite your date to a fun, virtual night of silly questions and surprisingly deep thinking.\\nYou could say, “Hey! I’ve really enjoyed talking to you over the past few days. Are you free for a video call this weekend? I’d love to get to know you better.”\\nYou might suggest, “I found this ridiculous list of ‘would you rather’ questions on Twitter. Want to video call and check them out?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Schedule a virtual museum visit.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Believe it or not, you can go on a museum date from the comfort of your own home.\", \"描述\": \"The world-famous Louvre, J. Paul Getty Museum, Smithsonian, and National Women’s History Museum all offer virtual tours and exhibits. For a really intimate date-night experience, share your screen during the video call. This way, you and your date can “tour” the museum at the same time.\\nYou might suggest, “Wanna go on a video date tonight? You’re one Zoom call away from heading to the Louvre.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Suggest a trip to the zoo.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Virtual zoo tours make for a memorable night in.\", \"描述\": \"If your date is an animal lover, a trip to the zoo could be a great incentive for a video date. Share your screen through a video call, where you and your date can admire baby eagles, polar bears, wolves, and countless other wild animals.\\nYou can stream virtual zoo tours on YouTube, or watch live wildlife cams.\\nYou could say, “You free this Friday? I know you’ll be stuck at home, but I was hoping we could check out this virtual zoo tour together.” or “You know what’s better than date night? Date night PLUS baby animals! I found some great videos I can show you over Zoom, if you want.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Coordinate a video concert date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can find lots of concert recordings on YouTube.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your date what kind of music they like, and see what search results come up on YouTube. Then, invite them to spend a virtual night in with you, where you can jam out over video chat.\\nYou could suggest, “I had no idea that Queen’s performance at Wembley Stadium was on YouTube! Wanna give it a watch with me on Skype?”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,470 | How to Ask Someone if They're Okay | 1. Addressing Your Concerns
1-1. Take a friendly yet concerned approach.
When talking to your friend, be warm, open, and gentle. Show that you are concerned and want to help and support them. While you might choose to approach the conversation casually, make sure they know that you care.
Say, “I'm concerned about you and want to know if you're doing okay.”
Nonverbal cues can help communicate your concern. Sit facing them and make eye contact when you speak. It if feels appropriate, you could place a hand on their shoulder to let them know you care.
Consider opening up about how you're doing first. This might make your friend feel more comfortable sharing about their own feelings.
1-2. Ask how they are.
Once both of you appear ready to talk, begin asking some questions. You can start by simply asking, “Are you okay?” Keep in mind that there are lots of ways to see how your friend is doing. Ask, “How have you been lately?” You can also ask, “How are you doing? Do you want to talk?”
Starting the conversation can be the hardest part. Jump right in and allow them to respond however they choose.
Sometimes people might give a generic answer if you just say, "How are you?" If they do that, try asking again to show them that you really want to talk.
You might also ask more direct questions, like, "How have you been emotionally?" or "How has the past year been for you?"
1-3. Mention something specific.
If there's something that worries you or concerns you, bring it up. Especially if your friend is surprised or somewhat defensive to your questions, expand a bit more. Talk about what you've noticed and why it concerns you.
For example, say, “I've noticed you're spending a lot of time alone lately. Are you doing okay?”
You can also say, “You've been really secretive. Is there something going on?”
Try to stick to objective observations without adding any assumptions or accusations.
1-4. Avoid confrontation.
Notice if the person doesn't want to talk about it or if they feel immediately defensive. You don't want to cause a fight or argument. If the person is not responsive to your questions, drop it. Reiterate that you're concerned and that you're there for them.
If the person is getting defensive, ask, “Is there someone else you'd like to talk to?” or, “I'll leave you alone, but please don't hesitate to call if you want to talk.”
Understand that it might take a few conversations for them to open up about whatever's going on. Try not to push the issue in your first conversation or two.
1-5. Talk about suicide.
If your friend is suicidal, stay calm and stay with them. Talk with them about suicide and get help if needed. They might tell you how they are feeling or what they want to do. If you're worried, ask, “Are you thinking of hurting yourself or taking your life?”
If the person is scared to ask for help, tell them to call a suicide crisis like (like 1-800-SUICIDE) or emergency services.
After the call, offer to help them find a mental health professional or follow up on whatever suggestions the hotline operator made.
2. Responding to Their Problems
2-1. Be available to listen.
It's not enough just to ask your friend if they are okay. The important part comes next, when you show them that you're available to listen and support them. Make sure you have time to listen if they decide to open up. Lean in and make eye contact frequently. Nod your head and give some feedback that you're listening by saying, “Uh huh” or, “I see.” Reflect what they are saying to show that you understand the content and the feelings they're expressing.
For example, say, “I'm so sorry that makes you feel sad and angry.”
Avoid saying you know how they feel. It's best just to be there for them and empathize the best you can with what they are experiencing.
2-2. Avoid judgments.
Even if you disagree with the person, don't immediately say so or start an argument. Don't blame them for their experience, even if you think their problems are their fault. Keep in mind that you asked them if something is wrong. Whatever your opinion, keep it to yourself, at least for today.
For example, if your friend admits that they have a drug problem, don't chastise them for doing drugs. Listen and show your support in admitting their problem.
2-3. Acknowledge their experience.
When listening to your friend open up, acknowledge their experience and how it makes them feel. If they are having a hard time, notice and acknowledge this difficulty. Show that you're listening and sympathetic toward their feelings.
Try to simply listen and empathize for a bit before offering any advice. You might ask, “What are you thinking about doing about that?” Helping them formulate their own solutions can help them feel empowered.
If you don't know what to say, consider, “It sounds like this is difficult for you” or simply, 'That sucks.”
2-4. Encourage action.
If their situation needs action, encourage them to take the next steps. You might encourage them to see a therapist, look into rehabilitation facilities, or talk to their family and friends. Perhaps you might encourage them to take some medications or take some time off from work or school.
Say, “Thanks for opening up to me. I think it may be best for you to consider talking to a professional or getting some help.”
2-5. Stay in contact.
Check in on the person to see how they are doing. Let them know you haven't forgotten about them. Send a text, ring them on the telephone, or see them in person. Let them know you are there to support them and help them when they need it.
Continue asking, “How are you doing?” to follow up with them.
Ask, “What can I help you with?”
3. Preparing to Talk
3-1. Have a private conversation.
Choose the right place to talk to your friend. If you ask them in front of people, they might become embarrassed and not answer honestly. For example, if you're out to coffee or lunch, your friend may not want other people to hear their response, even if they're strangers. If you want to talk, pick a time when it's just the two of you. Have the conversation in private where there are no prying ears.
Talk in the car, on a walk, or another private place.
3-2. Remove any distractions.
Don't ask your friend when they are in the middle of working on something, on their phone, talking to someone, or when they have something on their mind, like a test tomorrow. Ideally, you want your friend to have some time to talk without having any interruptions or distractions.
For example, if you're at your friend's house and their parents or siblings often interrupt, go somewhere where interruptions will not occur.
3-3. Feel prepared to talk.
You should feel prepared to listen, talk, and support your friend. Don't be distracted by anything, and have some time set aside for your friend. Don't have other things on your mind or things that might distract you, like anticipating a phone call. Set aside some time that you have free.
Remember that you cannot 'fix' someone's problems. If the person isn't ready to talk or doesn't want to, be prepared to let it go.
If you think you might get nervous talking about something personal, you could write down some bullet points you want to address.
Tips
If you feel your friend is in danger, you might consider telling their family. This might damage your relationship with them, so determine if this feels necessary for your friend's safety given the situation.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Addressing Your Concerns\\n1-1. Take a friendly yet concerned approach.\\nWhen talking to your friend, be warm, open, and gentle. Show that you are concerned and want to help and support them. While you might choose to approach the conversation casually, make sure they know that you care.\\nSay, “I'm concerned about you and want to know if you're doing okay.”\\nNonverbal cues can help communicate your concern. Sit facing them and make eye contact when you speak. It if feels appropriate, you could place a hand on their shoulder to let them know you care.\\nConsider opening up about how you're doing first. This might make your friend feel more comfortable sharing about their own feelings.\\n1-2. Ask how they are.\\nOnce both of you appear ready to talk, begin asking some questions. You can start by simply asking, “Are you okay?” Keep in mind that there are lots of ways to see how your friend is doing. Ask, “How have you been lately?” You can also ask, “How are you doing? Do you want to talk?”\\nStarting the conversation can be the hardest part. Jump right in and allow them to respond however they choose.\\nSometimes people might give a generic answer if you just say, \\\"How are you?\\\" If they do that, try asking again to show them that you really want to talk.\\nYou might also ask more direct questions, like, \\\"How have you been emotionally?\\\" or \\\"How has the past year been for you?\\\"\\n1-3. Mention something specific.\\nIf there's something that worries you or concerns you, bring it up. Especially if your friend is surprised or somewhat defensive to your questions, expand a bit more. Talk about what you've noticed and why it concerns you.\\nFor example, say, “I've noticed you're spending a lot of time alone lately. Are you doing okay?”\\nYou can also say, “You've been really secretive. Is there something going on?”\\nTry to stick to objective observations without adding any assumptions or accusations.\\n1-4. Avoid confrontation.\\nNotice if the person doesn't want to talk about it or if they feel immediately defensive. You don't want to cause a fight or argument. If the person is not responsive to your questions, drop it. Reiterate that you're concerned and that you're there for them.\\nIf the person is getting defensive, ask, “Is there someone else you'd like to talk to?” or, “I'll leave you alone, but please don't hesitate to call if you want to talk.”\\nUnderstand that it might take a few conversations for them to open up about whatever's going on. Try not to push the issue in your first conversation or two.\\n1-5. Talk about suicide.\\nIf your friend is suicidal, stay calm and stay with them. Talk with them about suicide and get help if needed. They might tell you how they are feeling or what they want to do. If you're worried, ask, “Are you thinking of hurting yourself or taking your life?”\\nIf the person is scared to ask for help, tell them to call a suicide crisis like (like 1-800-SUICIDE) or emergency services.\\nAfter the call, offer to help them find a mental health professional or follow up on whatever suggestions the hotline operator made.\\n2. Responding to Their Problems\\n2-1. Be available to listen.\\nIt's not enough just to ask your friend if they are okay. The important part comes next, when you show them that you're available to listen and support them. Make sure you have time to listen if they decide to open up. Lean in and make eye contact frequently. Nod your head and give some feedback that you're listening by saying, “Uh huh” or, “I see.” Reflect what they are saying to show that you understand the content and the feelings they're expressing.\\nFor example, say, “I'm so sorry that makes you feel sad and angry.”\\nAvoid saying you know how they feel. It's best just to be there for them and empathize the best you can with what they are experiencing.\\n2-2. Avoid judgments.\\nEven if you disagree with the person, don't immediately say so or start an argument. Don't blame them for their experience, even if you think their problems are their fault. Keep in mind that you asked them if something is wrong. Whatever your opinion, keep it to yourself, at least for today.\\nFor example, if your friend admits that they have a drug problem, don't chastise them for doing drugs. Listen and show your support in admitting their problem.\\n2-3. Acknowledge their experience.\\nWhen listening to your friend open up, acknowledge their experience and how it makes them feel. If they are having a hard time, notice and acknowledge this difficulty. Show that you're listening and sympathetic toward their feelings.\\nTry to simply listen and empathize for a bit before offering any advice. You might ask, “What are you thinking about doing about that?” Helping them formulate their own solutions can help them feel empowered.\\nIf you don't know what to say, consider, “It sounds like this is difficult for you” or simply, 'That sucks.”\\n2-4. Encourage action.\\nIf their situation needs action, encourage them to take the next steps. You might encourage them to see a therapist, look into rehabilitation facilities, or talk to their family and friends. Perhaps you might encourage them to take some medications or take some time off from work or school.\\nSay, “Thanks for opening up to me. I think it may be best for you to consider talking to a professional or getting some help.”\\n2-5. Stay in contact.\\nCheck in on the person to see how they are doing. Let them know you haven't forgotten about them. Send a text, ring them on the telephone, or see them in person. Let them know you are there to support them and help them when they need it.\\nContinue asking, “How are you doing?” to follow up with them.\\nAsk, “What can I help you with?”\\n3. Preparing to Talk\\n3-1. Have a private conversation.\\nChoose the right place to talk to your friend. If you ask them in front of people, they might become embarrassed and not answer honestly. For example, if you're out to coffee or lunch, your friend may not want other people to hear their response, even if they're strangers. If you want to talk, pick a time when it's just the two of you. Have the conversation in private where there are no prying ears.\\nTalk in the car, on a walk, or another private place.\\n3-2. Remove any distractions.\\nDon't ask your friend when they are in the middle of working on something, on their phone, talking to someone, or when they have something on their mind, like a test tomorrow. Ideally, you want your friend to have some time to talk without having any interruptions or distractions.\\nFor example, if you're at your friend's house and their parents or siblings often interrupt, go somewhere where interruptions will not occur.\\n3-3. Feel prepared to talk.\\nYou should feel prepared to listen, talk, and support your friend. Don't be distracted by anything, and have some time set aside for your friend. Don't have other things on your mind or things that might distract you, like anticipating a phone call. Set aside some time that you have free.\\nRemember that you cannot 'fix' someone's problems. If the person isn't ready to talk or doesn't want to, be prepared to let it go.\\nIf you think you might get nervous talking about something personal, you could write down some bullet points you want to address.\\nTips\\nIf you feel your friend is in danger, you might consider telling their family. This might damage your relationship with them, so determine if this feels necessary for your friend's safety given the situation.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Perhaps you notice your friend acting different or being quieter than usual. If something strikes your suspicion, go with your instinct and find out what is going on. If you're going to ask your friend if everything is okay, make sure you choose a good time to talk. Know how to steer the conversation in a helpful manner and show your support. Finally, encourage them to seek outside help if needed.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Addressing Your Concerns\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a friendly yet concerned approach.\", \"描述\": \"When talking to your friend, be warm, open, and gentle. Show that you are concerned and want to help and support them. While you might choose to approach the conversation casually, make sure they know that you care.\\nSay, “I'm concerned about you and want to know if you're doing okay.”\\nNonverbal cues can help communicate your concern. Sit facing them and make eye contact when you speak. It if feels appropriate, you could place a hand on their shoulder to let them know you care.\\nConsider opening up about how you're doing first. This might make your friend feel more comfortable sharing about their own feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask how they are.\", \"描述\": \"Once both of you appear ready to talk, begin asking some questions. You can start by simply asking, “Are you okay?” Keep in mind that there are lots of ways to see how your friend is doing. Ask, “How have you been lately?” You can also ask, “How are you doing? Do you want to talk?”\\nStarting the conversation can be the hardest part. Jump right in and allow them to respond however they choose.\\nSometimes people might give a generic answer if you just say, \\\"How are you?\\\" If they do that, try asking again to show them that you really want to talk.\\nYou might also ask more direct questions, like, \\\"How have you been emotionally?\\\" or \\\"How has the past year been for you?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mention something specific.\", \"描述\": \"If there's something that worries you or concerns you, bring it up. Especially if your friend is surprised or somewhat defensive to your questions, expand a bit more. Talk about what you've noticed and why it concerns you.\\nFor example, say, “I've noticed you're spending a lot of time alone lately. Are you doing okay?”\\nYou can also say, “You've been really secretive. Is there something going on?”\\nTry to stick to objective observations without adding any assumptions or accusations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid confrontation.\", \"描述\": \"Notice if the person doesn't want to talk about it or if they feel immediately defensive. You don't want to cause a fight or argument. If the person is not responsive to your questions, drop it. Reiterate that you're concerned and that you're there for them.\\nIf the person is getting defensive, ask, “Is there someone else you'd like to talk to?” or, “I'll leave you alone, but please don't hesitate to call if you want to talk.”\\nUnderstand that it might take a few conversations for them to open up about whatever's going on. Try not to push the issue in your first conversation or two.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk about suicide.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is suicidal, stay calm and stay with them. Talk with them about suicide and get help if needed. They might tell you how they are feeling or what they want to do. If you're worried, ask, “Are you thinking of hurting yourself or taking your life?”\\nIf the person is scared to ask for help, tell them to call a suicide crisis like (like 1-800-SUICIDE) or emergency services.\\nAfter the call, offer to help them find a mental health professional or follow up on whatever suggestions the hotline operator made.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Responding to Their Problems\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be available to listen.\", \"描述\": \"It's not enough just to ask your friend if they are okay. The important part comes next, when you show them that you're available to listen and support them. Make sure you have time to listen if they decide to open up. Lean in and make eye contact frequently. Nod your head and give some feedback that you're listening by saying, “Uh huh” or, “I see.” Reflect what they are saying to show that you understand the content and the feelings they're expressing.\\nFor example, say, “I'm so sorry that makes you feel sad and angry.”\\nAvoid saying you know how they feel. It's best just to be there for them and empathize the best you can with what they are experiencing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid judgments.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you disagree with the person, don't immediately say so or start an argument. Don't blame them for their experience, even if you think their problems are their fault. Keep in mind that you asked them if something is wrong. Whatever your opinion, keep it to yourself, at least for today.\\nFor example, if your friend admits that they have a drug problem, don't chastise them for doing drugs. Listen and show your support in admitting their problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge their experience.\", \"描述\": \"When listening to your friend open up, acknowledge their experience and how it makes them feel. If they are having a hard time, notice and acknowledge this difficulty. Show that you're listening and sympathetic toward their feelings.\\nTry to simply listen and empathize for a bit before offering any advice. You might ask, “What are you thinking about doing about that?” Helping them formulate their own solutions can help them feel empowered.\\nIf you don't know what to say, consider, “It sounds like this is difficult for you” or simply, 'That sucks.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Encourage action.\", \"描述\": \"If their situation needs action, encourage them to take the next steps. You might encourage them to see a therapist, look into rehabilitation facilities, or talk to their family and friends. Perhaps you might encourage them to take some medications or take some time off from work or school.\\nSay, “Thanks for opening up to me. I think it may be best for you to consider talking to a professional or getting some help.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay in contact.\", \"描述\": \"Check in on the person to see how they are doing. Let them know you haven't forgotten about them. Send a text, ring them on the telephone, or see them in person. Let them know you are there to support them and help them when they need it.\\nContinue asking, “How are you doing?” to follow up with them.\\nAsk, “What can I help you with?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Talk\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a private conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Choose the right place to talk to your friend. If you ask them in front of people, they might become embarrassed and not answer honestly. For example, if you're out to coffee or lunch, your friend may not want other people to hear their response, even if they're strangers. If you want to talk, pick a time when it's just the two of you. Have the conversation in private where there are no prying ears.\\nTalk in the car, on a walk, or another private place.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remove any distractions.\", \"描述\": \"Don't ask your friend when they are in the middle of working on something, on their phone, talking to someone, or when they have something on their mind, like a test tomorrow. Ideally, you want your friend to have some time to talk without having any interruptions or distractions.\\nFor example, if you're at your friend's house and their parents or siblings often interrupt, go somewhere where interruptions will not occur.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Feel prepared to talk.\", \"描述\": \"You should feel prepared to listen, talk, and support your friend. Don't be distracted by anything, and have some time set aside for your friend. Don't have other things on your mind or things that might distract you, like anticipating a phone call. Set aside some time that you have free.\\nRemember that you cannot 'fix' someone's problems. If the person isn't ready to talk or doesn't want to, be prepared to let it go.\\nIf you think you might get nervous talking about something personal, you could write down some bullet points you want to address.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you feel your friend is in danger, you might consider telling their family. This might damage your relationship with them, so determine if this feels necessary for your friend's safety given the situation.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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2,471 | How to Ask Someone if They Are Deaf | 1. Introducing Yourself to Someone Who May Be Deaf
1-1. Get their attention before speaking.
If someone cannot hear you, make yourself visible to them before trying to communicate further. Position yourself in their field of vision and speak with both your body and face facing in their direction. A small wave or another friendly hand motion may also help get someone’s attention.
Do not hesitate to initiate a conversation simply because you think someone may not be able to hear you.
While it may require a bit of mutual effort to establish a way of communicating if someone does happen to be deaf, you will likely be able to do so together with ease.
1-2. Introduce yourself.
If you’re meeting someone for the first time, identify yourself. If you are meeting someone in a professional or otherwise formal scenario, you may also want to provide a business card. If you’re wearing a name badge, feel free to present it.
Try to introduce yourself somewhere quiet. Background noise can make it very challenging for someone with partial hearing to understand you.
In the course of introducing yourself to someone who is deaf, they will likely indicate that they cannot hear, and may indicate a different type of communication. If they do, immediately switch to this form of communication.
1-3. Ask how they prefer to communicate.
You’ll likely be able to tell whether another person can hear you or not, whether or not they explicitly state that they are deaf. If, for instance, they seem to understand what you’re saying – they probably can, whether or not they can hear. Someone who cannot hear may still be fully capable of understanding most of what you’re saying through lip-reading and/or partial hearing.
If speaking is working, and a conversation is going smoothly, continue doing so until they, and focus on speaking slowly and clearly.
If you’re struggling to communicate by voice, say something along the lines of, “How do you prefer to communicate?”
1-4. Hold off on asking whether someone is deaf.
As you establish how best to communicate with someone, their ability to hear will likely naturally come up in conversation, or become apparent without talking about it. Further, the word “d/Deaf” is commonly used in two different ways, so avoid complicating your interaction by starting a conversation asking about someone's potential deafness. The important thing to remember is that you should not assign labels to someone or assume they see themselves a certain way.
If you simply ask someone whether they are deaf, they may not know whether you’re asking about their ability to hear (deaf), or about whether they identify with a certain culture (Deaf).
Never use phrases such as “hearing impaired,” which has negative connotations.
Keep in mind that many people who are deaf do not view themselves as disabled, nor believe there is anything wrong with them.
2. Making Sure Someone Can Read Your Lips
2-1. Do not stand in front of anything bright.
If the person you’re speaking with may be reading your lips, do not sit or stand in between them and whatever is providing light. This applies to sunlight as well as artificial light sources. Glare or shadows on your face will make lip reading much harder, if not impossible.
2-2. Look at the other person when speaking.
Maintain a position relative to the other person that allows for a full, well-lit view of your face. If you need to turn away, to write on a whiteboard, for instance, wait to do so until you’re finished speaking.
2-3. Avoid yelling or exaggerating your enunciation.
While you may be doing so in the interest of being understood, many people who are hard of hearing may take offense to shouting or dramatic pronunciation. Further, exaggerating your voice or overemphasizing certain sounds may actually make reading your lips harder. Enunciate your words normally, without adding emphasis or emotion.
2-4. Speak in short sentences.
Short sentences are easier to communicate with, in the statements you are making will be more precise and concise. Since nouns and verbs will likely convey the substance of what you’re trying to say, focus on using these types of words, as opposed to adjectives and adverbs.
2-5. Keep your mouth fully visible.
Do not obscure your lips in any way. This means not smoking, eating, or chewing anything while communicating with someone who is reading your lips. Additionally, take care not to touch your face while speaking, as you may obscure sight of your lips.
3. Developing a Conversation Together
3-1. Indicate what you want to talk about.
Even if you simply want to introduce yourself, it can be helpful to indicate the reason you want to communicate with someone who may not be able to hear you. For instance, if there is certain topic you’re hoping to discuss, and you have anything relevant to that topic, hold it up or simply touch it.
3-2. Repeat once, then rephrase.
If it seems that something you’ve said was not understood, say it again. If this does not convey your point again, rephrase what you’re trying to say using different words. Often, the particular way you may be mouthing certain words may look like another word. Re-phrasing the same statement with different words will likely quickly clarify anything you’ve said that may have been unclear.
3-3. Maintain eye contact.
This is the best way to convey a feeling of direct communication, even if you’re having a hard time understand each other. In fact, you may even feel as though a deaf person is staring at you. They probably are, and you should try to maintain almost complete eye contact as well.
Imagine if someone who had full hearing covered their ears while you were speaking to them. To someone who relies on lip reading, avoiding eye contact sends a similar message.
3-4. Be polite.
While it goes without saying that you should be polite when conversing with other people, there are specific things to be conscious of when communicating with a deaf person. If you hear something you need to respond to, explain what you are doing. For instance, if the telephone rings or someone knocks at the door, say what you’re doing before you get up to answer it.
Never act as though a deaf person is not present. Do not speak exclusively to another person while someone who cannot hear is present. Speak towards the deaf person so they can read your lips and expressions, even if what you’re saying is more pertinent to a third party.
3-5. Employ visual clarifications.
Whenever photos, drawings, or other visuals may aid or strengthen your ability to communicate with one another, refer to them. Similarly, pantomime an action or behavior, or use body language and facial expression to emphasize certain points. The way your moving alone can strongly emphasize what you’re saying.
3-6. Focus on listening.
A deaf person may or not speak. If they do speak, their verbal communication may be hard for you to understand. If you do not understand something, however, never act as though you do. Instead, ask the person you’re conversing with to repeat themselves.
Remind yourself that strong communication requires the patience to fully understand what another person has to say.
Ask specific questions. If a question can potentially be answered in a few words, ask it in a way that will allow for a short response, or even merely a nod or shake of the head.
4. Using Writing to Communicate
4-1. Write down what you’re hoping to convey.
In this scenario, the medium is not the message. If you’re struggling to be convey yourself effectively, or if the person with whom you are communicating is unable to hear you or read your lips, break out some writing equipment.
First, ask if the other person is comfortable with written communication. Do not assume that a deaf person will prefer to write.
You can use a writing utensil and paper, or use a smartphone or computer to exchange written statements.
4-2. Keep written messages short and simple.
After establishing that the other person is comfortable writing out a conversation, state the subject area or ask them to do so. This will help get your both on the same page at the beginning of a conversation. You likely only need to write a few words at a time. Allow the deaf person to see what you’re writing as you write, as they will likely understand what you’re trying to convey before you’ve written it all out.
4-3. Face them after giving them a written message.
You should still try to maintain lots of eye contact and use body language indicating that your focus is on the conversation. For instance, sit or stand with your body facing the other person, and watch their face whenever you are not writing.
You will read each other’s facial expressions as much as the content you’ve written. This will make communication more comprehensible, not to mention more accurate.
4-4. Get assistance for nuanced conversations.
If your conversation progresses, the person you are speaking with may want to use software such as Computer-Aided Real-Time Transcription, which will allow them to read what you are saying as you speak.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Introducing Yourself to Someone Who May Be Deaf\\n1-1. Get their attention before speaking.\\nIf someone cannot hear you, make yourself visible to them before trying to communicate further. Position yourself in their field of vision and speak with both your body and face facing in their direction. A small wave or another friendly hand motion may also help get someone’s attention.\\nDo not hesitate to initiate a conversation simply because you think someone may not be able to hear you.\\nWhile it may require a bit of mutual effort to establish a way of communicating if someone does happen to be deaf, you will likely be able to do so together with ease.\\n1-2. Introduce yourself.\\nIf you’re meeting someone for the first time, identify yourself. If you are meeting someone in a professional or otherwise formal scenario, you may also want to provide a business card. If you’re wearing a name badge, feel free to present it.\\nTry to introduce yourself somewhere quiet. Background noise can make it very challenging for someone with partial hearing to understand you.\\nIn the course of introducing yourself to someone who is deaf, they will likely indicate that they cannot hear, and may indicate a different type of communication. If they do, immediately switch to this form of communication.\\n1-3. Ask how they prefer to communicate.\\nYou’ll likely be able to tell whether another person can hear you or not, whether or not they explicitly state that they are deaf. If, for instance, they seem to understand what you’re saying – they probably can, whether or not they can hear. Someone who cannot hear may still be fully capable of understanding most of what you’re saying through lip-reading and/or partial hearing.\\nIf speaking is working, and a conversation is going smoothly, continue doing so until they, and focus on speaking slowly and clearly.\\nIf you’re struggling to communicate by voice, say something along the lines of, “How do you prefer to communicate?”\\n1-4. Hold off on asking whether someone is deaf.\\nAs you establish how best to communicate with someone, their ability to hear will likely naturally come up in conversation, or become apparent without talking about it. Further, the word “d/Deaf” is commonly used in two different ways, so avoid complicating your interaction by starting a conversation asking about someone's potential deafness. The important thing to remember is that you should not assign labels to someone or assume they see themselves a certain way.\\nIf you simply ask someone whether they are deaf, they may not know whether you’re asking about their ability to hear (deaf), or about whether they identify with a certain culture (Deaf).\\nNever use phrases such as “hearing impaired,” which has negative connotations.\\nKeep in mind that many people who are deaf do not view themselves as disabled, nor believe there is anything wrong with them.\\n2. Making Sure Someone Can Read Your Lips\\n2-1. Do not stand in front of anything bright.\\nIf the person you’re speaking with may be reading your lips, do not sit or stand in between them and whatever is providing light. This applies to sunlight as well as artificial light sources. Glare or shadows on your face will make lip reading much harder, if not impossible.\\n2-2. Look at the other person when speaking.\\nMaintain a position relative to the other person that allows for a full, well-lit view of your face. If you need to turn away, to write on a whiteboard, for instance, wait to do so until you’re finished speaking.\\n2-3. Avoid yelling or exaggerating your enunciation.\\nWhile you may be doing so in the interest of being understood, many people who are hard of hearing may take offense to shouting or dramatic pronunciation. Further, exaggerating your voice or overemphasizing certain sounds may actually make reading your lips harder. Enunciate your words normally, without adding emphasis or emotion.\\n2-4. Speak in short sentences.\\nShort sentences are easier to communicate with, in the statements you are making will be more precise and concise. Since nouns and verbs will likely convey the substance of what you’re trying to say, focus on using these types of words, as opposed to adjectives and adverbs.\\n2-5. Keep your mouth fully visible.\\nDo not obscure your lips in any way. This means not smoking, eating, or chewing anything while communicating with someone who is reading your lips. Additionally, take care not to touch your face while speaking, as you may obscure sight of your lips.\\n3. Developing a Conversation Together\\n3-1. Indicate what you want to talk about.\\nEven if you simply want to introduce yourself, it can be helpful to indicate the reason you want to communicate with someone who may not be able to hear you. For instance, if there is certain topic you’re hoping to discuss, and you have anything relevant to that topic, hold it up or simply touch it.\\n3-2. Repeat once, then rephrase.\\nIf it seems that something you’ve said was not understood, say it again. If this does not convey your point again, rephrase what you’re trying to say using different words. Often, the particular way you may be mouthing certain words may look like another word. Re-phrasing the same statement with different words will likely quickly clarify anything you’ve said that may have been unclear.\\n3-3. Maintain eye contact.\\nThis is the best way to convey a feeling of direct communication, even if you’re having a hard time understand each other. In fact, you may even feel as though a deaf person is staring at you. They probably are, and you should try to maintain almost complete eye contact as well.\\nImagine if someone who had full hearing covered their ears while you were speaking to them. To someone who relies on lip reading, avoiding eye contact sends a similar message.\\n3-4. Be polite.\\nWhile it goes without saying that you should be polite when conversing with other people, there are specific things to be conscious of when communicating with a deaf person. If you hear something you need to respond to, explain what you are doing. For instance, if the telephone rings or someone knocks at the door, say what you’re doing before you get up to answer it.\\nNever act as though a deaf person is not present. Do not speak exclusively to another person while someone who cannot hear is present. Speak towards the deaf person so they can read your lips and expressions, even if what you’re saying is more pertinent to a third party.\\n3-5. Employ visual clarifications.\\nWhenever photos, drawings, or other visuals may aid or strengthen your ability to communicate with one another, refer to them. Similarly, pantomime an action or behavior, or use body language and facial expression to emphasize certain points. The way your moving alone can strongly emphasize what you’re saying.\\n3-6. Focus on listening.\\nA deaf person may or not speak. If they do speak, their verbal communication may be hard for you to understand. If you do not understand something, however, never act as though you do. Instead, ask the person you’re conversing with to repeat themselves.\\nRemind yourself that strong communication requires the patience to fully understand what another person has to say.\\nAsk specific questions. If a question can potentially be answered in a few words, ask it in a way that will allow for a short response, or even merely a nod or shake of the head.\\n4. Using Writing to Communicate\\n4-1. Write down what you’re hoping to convey.\\nIn this scenario, the medium is not the message. If you’re struggling to be convey yourself effectively, or if the person with whom you are communicating is unable to hear you or read your lips, break out some writing equipment.\\nFirst, ask if the other person is comfortable with written communication. Do not assume that a deaf person will prefer to write.\\nYou can use a writing utensil and paper, or use a smartphone or computer to exchange written statements.\\n4-2. Keep written messages short and simple.\\nAfter establishing that the other person is comfortable writing out a conversation, state the subject area or ask them to do so. This will help get your both on the same page at the beginning of a conversation. You likely only need to write a few words at a time. Allow the deaf person to see what you’re writing as you write, as they will likely understand what you’re trying to convey before you’ve written it all out.\\n4-3. Face them after giving them a written message.\\nYou should still try to maintain lots of eye contact and use body language indicating that your focus is on the conversation. For instance, sit or stand with your body facing the other person, and watch their face whenever you are not writing.\\nYou will read each other’s facial expressions as much as the content you’ve written. This will make communication more comprehensible, not to mention more accurate.\\n4-4. Get assistance for nuanced conversations.\\nIf your conversation progresses, the person you are speaking with may want to use software such as Computer-Aided Real-Time Transcription, which will allow them to read what you are saying as you speak.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you meet someone for the first time and think they may be deaf, you may be tempted to ask directly. However, you may wonder how to respectfully communicate with someone who you aren’t sure can hear. It’s best to start a conversation with someone you think may be deaf by asking what their preferred method of communication is. Often, a deaf person will be able to read your lips well enough for the two of you to enjoy a conversation comfortably, although visual aids and writing can provide quick clarification whenever necessary.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introducing Yourself to Someone Who May Be Deaf\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get their attention before speaking.\", \"描述\": \"If someone cannot hear you, make yourself visible to them before trying to communicate further. Position yourself in their field of vision and speak with both your body and face facing in their direction. A small wave or another friendly hand motion may also help get someone’s attention.\\nDo not hesitate to initiate a conversation simply because you think someone may not be able to hear you.\\nWhile it may require a bit of mutual effort to establish a way of communicating if someone does happen to be deaf, you will likely be able to do so together with ease.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re meeting someone for the first time, identify yourself. If you are meeting someone in a professional or otherwise formal scenario, you may also want to provide a business card. If you’re wearing a name badge, feel free to present it.\\nTry to introduce yourself somewhere quiet. Background noise can make it very challenging for someone with partial hearing to understand you.\\nIn the course of introducing yourself to someone who is deaf, they will likely indicate that they cannot hear, and may indicate a different type of communication. If they do, immediately switch to this form of communication.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask how they prefer to communicate.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll likely be able to tell whether another person can hear you or not, whether or not they explicitly state that they are deaf. If, for instance, they seem to understand what you’re saying – they probably can, whether or not they can hear. Someone who cannot hear may still be fully capable of understanding most of what you’re saying through lip-reading and/or partial hearing.\\nIf speaking is working, and a conversation is going smoothly, continue doing so until they, and focus on speaking slowly and clearly.\\nIf you’re struggling to communicate by voice, say something along the lines of, “How do you prefer to communicate?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hold off on asking whether someone is deaf.\", \"描述\": \"As you establish how best to communicate with someone, their ability to hear will likely naturally come up in conversation, or become apparent without talking about it. Further, the word “d/Deaf” is commonly used in two different ways, so avoid complicating your interaction by starting a conversation asking about someone's potential deafness. The important thing to remember is that you should not assign labels to someone or assume they see themselves a certain way.\\nIf you simply ask someone whether they are deaf, they may not know whether you’re asking about their ability to hear (deaf), or about whether they identify with a certain culture (Deaf).\\nNever use phrases such as “hearing impaired,” which has negative connotations.\\nKeep in mind that many people who are deaf do not view themselves as disabled, nor believe there is anything wrong with them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Sure Someone Can Read Your Lips\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not stand in front of anything bright.\", \"描述\": \"If the person you’re speaking with may be reading your lips, do not sit or stand in between them and whatever is providing light. This applies to sunlight as well as artificial light sources. Glare or shadows on your face will make lip reading much harder, if not impossible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look at the other person when speaking.\", \"描述\": \"Maintain a position relative to the other person that allows for a full, well-lit view of your face. If you need to turn away, to write on a whiteboard, for instance, wait to do so until you’re finished speaking.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid yelling or exaggerating your enunciation.\", \"描述\": \"While you may be doing so in the interest of being understood, many people who are hard of hearing may take offense to shouting or dramatic pronunciation. Further, exaggerating your voice or overemphasizing certain sounds may actually make reading your lips harder. Enunciate your words normally, without adding emphasis or emotion.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Speak in short sentences.\", \"描述\": \"Short sentences are easier to communicate with, in the statements you are making will be more precise and concise. Since nouns and verbs will likely convey the substance of what you’re trying to say, focus on using these types of words, as opposed to adjectives and adverbs.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your mouth fully visible.\", \"描述\": \"Do not obscure your lips in any way. This means not smoking, eating, or chewing anything while communicating with someone who is reading your lips. Additionally, take care not to touch your face while speaking, as you may obscure sight of your lips.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Developing a Conversation Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Indicate what you want to talk about.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you simply want to introduce yourself, it can be helpful to indicate the reason you want to communicate with someone who may not be able to hear you. For instance, if there is certain topic you’re hoping to discuss, and you have anything relevant to that topic, hold it up or simply touch it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Repeat once, then rephrase.\", \"描述\": \"If it seems that something you’ve said was not understood, say it again. If this does not convey your point again, rephrase what you’re trying to say using different words. Often, the particular way you may be mouthing certain words may look like another word. Re-phrasing the same statement with different words will likely quickly clarify anything you’ve said that may have been unclear.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"This is the best way to convey a feeling of direct communication, even if you’re having a hard time understand each other. In fact, you may even feel as though a deaf person is staring at you. They probably are, and you should try to maintain almost complete eye contact as well.\\nImagine if someone who had full hearing covered their ears while you were speaking to them. To someone who relies on lip reading, avoiding eye contact sends a similar message.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"While it goes without saying that you should be polite when conversing with other people, there are specific things to be conscious of when communicating with a deaf person. If you hear something you need to respond to, explain what you are doing. For instance, if the telephone rings or someone knocks at the door, say what you’re doing before you get up to answer it.\\nNever act as though a deaf person is not present. Do not speak exclusively to another person while someone who cannot hear is present. Speak towards the deaf person so they can read your lips and expressions, even if what you’re saying is more pertinent to a third party.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Employ visual clarifications.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever photos, drawings, or other visuals may aid or strengthen your ability to communicate with one another, refer to them. Similarly, pantomime an action or behavior, or use body language and facial expression to emphasize certain points. The way your moving alone can strongly emphasize what you’re saying.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Focus on listening.\", \"描述\": \"A deaf person may or not speak. If they do speak, their verbal communication may be hard for you to understand. If you do not understand something, however, never act as though you do. Instead, ask the person you’re conversing with to repeat themselves.\\nRemind yourself that strong communication requires the patience to fully understand what another person has to say.\\nAsk specific questions. If a question can potentially be answered in a few words, ask it in a way that will allow for a short response, or even merely a nod or shake of the head.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Using Writing to Communicate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write down what you’re hoping to convey.\", \"描述\": \"In this scenario, the medium is not the message. If you’re struggling to be convey yourself effectively, or if the person with whom you are communicating is unable to hear you or read your lips, break out some writing equipment.\\nFirst, ask if the other person is comfortable with written communication. Do not assume that a deaf person will prefer to write.\\nYou can use a writing utensil and paper, or use a smartphone or computer to exchange written statements.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep written messages short and simple.\", \"描述\": \"After establishing that the other person is comfortable writing out a conversation, state the subject area or ask them to do so. This will help get your both on the same page at the beginning of a conversation. You likely only need to write a few words at a time. Allow the deaf person to see what you’re writing as you write, as they will likely understand what you’re trying to convey before you’ve written it all out.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Face them after giving them a written message.\", \"描述\": \"You should still try to maintain lots of eye contact and use body language indicating that your focus is on the conversation. For instance, sit or stand with your body facing the other person, and watch their face whenever you are not writing.\\nYou will read each other’s facial expressions as much as the content you’ve written. This will make communication more comprehensible, not to mention more accurate.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get assistance for nuanced conversations.\", \"描述\": \"If your conversation progresses, the person you are speaking with may want to use software such as Computer-Aided Real-Time Transcription, which will allow them to read what you are saying as you speak.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,472 | How to Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You | 1. "How are you feeling?"
Try a subtle approach to give them a chance to open up.
One good way to get a read on the other person's state of mind is just to start a conversation with them. Try giving them a call or sending a text asking how they've been. If there's anything wrong, this will give them a chance to tell you. And even if they don't have much to say at first, it will open the door for more questions.
You could also say something like, "Hey I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?"
2. "Is something on your mind"?
Let them know you can tell their energy is different.
Asking this will show the other person that you care about how they feel, and that you can tell something's a little off. However, it doesn't put any pressure on them to reassure you, because you're not outright asking if they're mad at you—you're asking if anything is bothering them in general.
Another way to ask this might be, "Am I right that something is bothering you? Do you want to talk about it?"
3. "It feels like we've been a little distant, can we talk about that?"
Try this if you really feel like their emotions are directed at you.
Sometimes it's a little more obvious when someone is upset with you—they might give you dirty looks, answer you with short, terse responses, or get really quiet when you're around. If that's the vibe you're feeling, go ahead and ask what's going on.
If the person's mood seems to shift suddenly during a conversation, try asking something like, "Did I say something to offend you?"
When you ask something like this in a straightforward way, be prepared for a straightforward answer. They might be holding in some things that you aren't expecting, so just sit back and let them speak their mind.
4. "Can you explain why that was so upsetting?"
Be curious if you're not sure what's behind their feelings.
If the person does say that you did something that bothered them, but you're still not sure exactly why they're upset, don't be afraid to dig a little more. It's really important to understand exactly what happened if you want to avoid conflict with that person in the future.
Try to keep your tone calm and even when you ask this—if you come across like you're judging or mocking the person for their feelings, it will just make things worse.
When they're talking, just listen quietly without getting defensive. Don't interrupt them to share your own thoughts—although it's fine to say things like, "I understand" or "That makes sense" from time to time.
5. "Am I hearing this right?"
Paraphrase back what they just said to you.
When you repeat what the person just said, it will help both of you be sure you're on the same page. Just make sure that when you do this, you do it in a really kind voice—don't belittle their opinions, or the argument will just get worse.
For instance, you might say, "It sounds like you're saying that it was insensitive of me to brush off your suggestion about how to paint the living room, and you feel like I don't appreciate your opinions. Is that right?"
6. "Can I share my perspective?"
Offer your point of view if you think it could help.
In some cases, you might feel like if the other person understood where you were coming from, they might not feel upset anymore. Just be careful with this—it will seem insensitive if you come across like you're just trying to prove your point and make yourself seem right.
Keep in mind that in a disagreement, it's more important how something came across, rather than the intention that was behind it. Sometimes, it's better to just apologize rather than trying to explain yourself.
7. "Do you need some space?"
Be willing to back off if they need some time.
When someone is upset, they sometimes need time to process how they're feeling before they can begin to move past it. If the person says they're not ready to talk, give them a little time before you reach out to them again.
This will be different for everyone. If you live together, you might leave for a few hours, then come home and try to talk again. If you're not super-close, you might wait as long as a couple of weeks. It really depends on the situation, how close you are, and what happened that made the person upset.
8. "How can I make this better?"
Ask if there's anything that would help.
Sometimes, the other person will have a clear idea of what they'd like you to do. For instance, they might say something like, "Please don't put me down in a work meeting again," or "I'd rather you not make comments about my appearance." In that case, do your best to stick to their request so you can hopefully avoid repeating the situation in the future.
Don't agree to anything you can't stick to. For instance, if the person says something like, "I want you to quit your job so I don't have to see your face anymore," that's a pretty unreasonable request, and it's fine to say no.
9. "I'm sorry, can you forgive me?"
Apologize and ask for forgiveness if you want to mend the relationship.
Even if you don't feel like you were completely wrong, take responsibility for your actions. If you can see the other person's point of view, sincerely tell them you're sorry. Acknowledge your part in what happened, and ask them if they're willing to forgive you and move on.
If the person was offended by something you consider an important value, apologizing may not be appropriate—sometimes you do have to stand your ground. For instance, if they're angry at you because you spoke out in support of trans rights or equality for minorities, it's totally okay if you decide you're just better off ending the relationship.
10. "Why would they be mad at me?"
Ask yourself this question before you talk to the person.
Don't just assume they're mad at you, especially if the two of you haven't had any conflicts lately. If they're just not answering your texts or they seem a little standoffish, there could be another explanation for the way they're acting, and it likely doesn't have anything to do with you at all.
For instance, if you bump into someone you know while you're shopping but they don't stop to chat, they might have been in a big hurry or they could have been dealing with something upsetting that day.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:47:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. \\\"How are you feeling?\\\"\\nTry a subtle approach to give them a chance to open up.\\nOne good way to get a read on the other person's state of mind is just to start a conversation with them. Try giving them a call or sending a text asking how they've been. If there's anything wrong, this will give them a chance to tell you. And even if they don't have much to say at first, it will open the door for more questions.\\nYou could also say something like, \\\"Hey I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?\\\"\\n2. \\\"Is something on your mind\\\"?\\nLet them know you can tell their energy is different.\\nAsking this will show the other person that you care about how they feel, and that you can tell something's a little off. However, it doesn't put any pressure on them to reassure you, because you're not outright asking if they're mad at you—you're asking if anything is bothering them in general.\\nAnother way to ask this might be, \\\"Am I right that something is bothering you? Do you want to talk about it?\\\"\\n3. \\\"It feels like we've been a little distant, can we talk about that?\\\"\\nTry this if you really feel like their emotions are directed at you.\\nSometimes it's a little more obvious when someone is upset with you—they might give you dirty looks, answer you with short, terse responses, or get really quiet when you're around. If that's the vibe you're feeling, go ahead and ask what's going on.\\nIf the person's mood seems to shift suddenly during a conversation, try asking something like, \\\"Did I say something to offend you?\\\"\\nWhen you ask something like this in a straightforward way, be prepared for a straightforward answer. They might be holding in some things that you aren't expecting, so just sit back and let them speak their mind.\\n4. \\\"Can you explain why that was so upsetting?\\\"\\nBe curious if you're not sure what's behind their feelings.\\nIf the person does say that you did something that bothered them, but you're still not sure exactly why they're upset, don't be afraid to dig a little more. It's really important to understand exactly what happened if you want to avoid conflict with that person in the future.\\nTry to keep your tone calm and even when you ask this—if you come across like you're judging or mocking the person for their feelings, it will just make things worse.\\nWhen they're talking, just listen quietly without getting defensive. Don't interrupt them to share your own thoughts—although it's fine to say things like, \\\"I understand\\\" or \\\"That makes sense\\\" from time to time.\\n5. \\\"Am I hearing this right?\\\"\\nParaphrase back what they just said to you.\\nWhen you repeat what the person just said, it will help both of you be sure you're on the same page. Just make sure that when you do this, you do it in a really kind voice—don't belittle their opinions, or the argument will just get worse.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"It sounds like you're saying that it was insensitive of me to brush off your suggestion about how to paint the living room, and you feel like I don't appreciate your opinions. Is that right?\\\"\\n6. \\\"Can I share my perspective?\\\"\\nOffer your point of view if you think it could help.\\nIn some cases, you might feel like if the other person understood where you were coming from, they might not feel upset anymore. Just be careful with this—it will seem insensitive if you come across like you're just trying to prove your point and make yourself seem right.\\nKeep in mind that in a disagreement, it's more important how something came across, rather than the intention that was behind it. Sometimes, it's better to just apologize rather than trying to explain yourself.\\n7. \\\"Do you need some space?\\\"\\nBe willing to back off if they need some time.\\nWhen someone is upset, they sometimes need time to process how they're feeling before they can begin to move past it. If the person says they're not ready to talk, give them a little time before you reach out to them again.\\nThis will be different for everyone. If you live together, you might leave for a few hours, then come home and try to talk again. If you're not super-close, you might wait as long as a couple of weeks. It really depends on the situation, how close you are, and what happened that made the person upset.\\n8. \\\"How can I make this better?\\\"\\nAsk if there's anything that would help.\\nSometimes, the other person will have a clear idea of what they'd like you to do. For instance, they might say something like, \\\"Please don't put me down in a work meeting again,\\\" or \\\"I'd rather you not make comments about my appearance.\\\" In that case, do your best to stick to their request so you can hopefully avoid repeating the situation in the future.\\nDon't agree to anything you can't stick to. For instance, if the person says something like, \\\"I want you to quit your job so I don't have to see your face anymore,\\\" that's a pretty unreasonable request, and it's fine to say no.\\n9. \\\"I'm sorry, can you forgive me?\\\"\\nApologize and ask for forgiveness if you want to mend the relationship.\\nEven if you don't feel like you were completely wrong, take responsibility for your actions. If you can see the other person's point of view, sincerely tell them you're sorry. Acknowledge your part in what happened, and ask them if they're willing to forgive you and move on.\\nIf the person was offended by something you consider an important value, apologizing may not be appropriate—sometimes you do have to stand your ground. For instance, if they're angry at you because you spoke out in support of trans rights or equality for minorities, it's totally okay if you decide you're just better off ending the relationship.\\n10. \\\"Why would they be mad at me?\\\"\\nAsk yourself this question before you talk to the person.\\nDon't just assume they're mad at you, especially if the two of you haven't had any conflicts lately. If they're just not answering your texts or they seem a little standoffish, there could be another explanation for the way they're acting, and it likely doesn't have anything to do with you at all.\\nFor instance, if you bump into someone you know while you're shopping but they don't stop to chat, they might have been in a big hurry or they could have been dealing with something upsetting that day.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be hard to know whether someone you care about is upset with you, especially if they're acting a little out of the ordinary and you aren't sure why. Don't just sit around feeling anxious, though—instead, reach out to get some insight into how they're feeling. If you're not sure what the best way to go about it is, don't worry. We've put together a list of questions you can ask to get the conversation started and figure out what's going on.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"\\\"How are you feeling?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try a subtle approach to give them a chance to open up.\", \"描述\": \"One good way to get a read on the other person's state of mind is just to start a conversation with them. Try giving them a call or sending a text asking how they've been. If there's anything wrong, this will give them a chance to tell you. And even if they don't have much to say at first, it will open the door for more questions.\\nYou could also say something like, \\\"Hey I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"\\\"Is something on your mind\\\"?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know you can tell their energy is different.\", \"描述\": \"Asking this will show the other person that you care about how they feel, and that you can tell something's a little off. However, it doesn't put any pressure on them to reassure you, because you're not outright asking if they're mad at you—you're asking if anything is bothering them in general.\\nAnother way to ask this might be, \\\"Am I right that something is bothering you? Do you want to talk about it?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"\\\"It feels like we've been a little distant, can we talk about that?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try this if you really feel like their emotions are directed at you.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it's a little more obvious when someone is upset with you—they might give you dirty looks, answer you with short, terse responses, or get really quiet when you're around. If that's the vibe you're feeling, go ahead and ask what's going on.\\nIf the person's mood seems to shift suddenly during a conversation, try asking something like, \\\"Did I say something to offend you?\\\"\\nWhen you ask something like this in a straightforward way, be prepared for a straightforward answer. They might be holding in some things that you aren't expecting, so just sit back and let them speak their mind.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"\\\"Can you explain why that was so upsetting?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be curious if you're not sure what's behind their feelings.\", \"描述\": \"If the person does say that you did something that bothered them, but you're still not sure exactly why they're upset, don't be afraid to dig a little more. It's really important to understand exactly what happened if you want to avoid conflict with that person in the future.\\nTry to keep your tone calm and even when you ask this—if you come across like you're judging or mocking the person for their feelings, it will just make things worse.\\nWhen they're talking, just listen quietly without getting defensive. Don't interrupt them to share your own thoughts—although it's fine to say things like, \\\"I understand\\\" or \\\"That makes sense\\\" from time to time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"\\\"Am I hearing this right?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Paraphrase back what they just said to you.\", \"描述\": \"When you repeat what the person just said, it will help both of you be sure you're on the same page. Just make sure that when you do this, you do it in a really kind voice—don't belittle their opinions, or the argument will just get worse.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"It sounds like you're saying that it was insensitive of me to brush off your suggestion about how to paint the living room, and you feel like I don't appreciate your opinions. Is that right?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"\\\"Can I share my perspective?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer your point of view if you think it could help.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, you might feel like if the other person understood where you were coming from, they might not feel upset anymore. Just be careful with this—it will seem insensitive if you come across like you're just trying to prove your point and make yourself seem right.\\nKeep in mind that in a disagreement, it's more important how something came across, rather than the intention that was behind it. Sometimes, it's better to just apologize rather than trying to explain yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"\\\"Do you need some space?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be willing to back off if they need some time.\", \"描述\": \"When someone is upset, they sometimes need time to process how they're feeling before they can begin to move past it. If the person says they're not ready to talk, give them a little time before you reach out to them again.\\nThis will be different for everyone. If you live together, you might leave for a few hours, then come home and try to talk again. If you're not super-close, you might wait as long as a couple of weeks. It really depends on the situation, how close you are, and what happened that made the person upset.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"\\\"How can I make this better?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask if there's anything that would help.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the other person will have a clear idea of what they'd like you to do. For instance, they might say something like, \\\"Please don't put me down in a work meeting again,\\\" or \\\"I'd rather you not make comments about my appearance.\\\" In that case, do your best to stick to their request so you can hopefully avoid repeating the situation in the future.\\nDon't agree to anything you can't stick to. For instance, if the person says something like, \\\"I want you to quit your job so I don't have to see your face anymore,\\\" that's a pretty unreasonable request, and it's fine to say no.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"\\\"I'm sorry, can you forgive me?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologize and ask for forgiveness if you want to mend the relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don't feel like you were completely wrong, take responsibility for your actions. If you can see the other person's point of view, sincerely tell them you're sorry. Acknowledge your part in what happened, and ask them if they're willing to forgive you and move on.\\nIf the person was offended by something you consider an important value, apologizing may not be appropriate—sometimes you do have to stand your ground. For instance, if they're angry at you because you spoke out in support of trans rights or equality for minorities, it's totally okay if you decide you're just better off ending the relationship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"\\\"Why would they be mad at me?\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself this question before you talk to the person.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just assume they're mad at you, especially if the two of you haven't had any conflicts lately. If they're just not answering your texts or they seem a little standoffish, there could be another explanation for the way they're acting, and it likely doesn't have anything to do with you at all.\\nFor instance, if you bump into someone you know while you're shopping but they don't stop to chat, they might have been in a big hurry or they could have been dealing with something upsetting that day.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,473 | How to Ask Someone if They Like You | 1. Asking over the Phone or Text
1-1. Get to know the person for a while to see if they might be interested.
If you think someone you just met might like you, try spending a little time talking to them before you ask how they feel. If the two of you don't know each other very well, the other person might not even have an opinion on whether they like you yet, even if they’re flirting with you or they seem interested.
For instance, the person could just have a flirtatious personality, but they could be in a relationship or in another situation that would prevent them from dating you.
Ask them open-ended questions like, “What do you do for fun?” and “What kind of music do you listen to?” That way, you can find out if you have anything in common.
If you’re already close with the person, there’s no need to put off the conversation.
1-2. Text or message them if you want plenty of time to think about what to say.
Sending a text or an online message can be the perfect solution if you’re afraid that you’ll get tongue-tied when you’re talking to the person face-to-face or over the phone. Take a few minutes to think about exactly how you want to ask them. Then, when they respond, you’ll have time to think about your response.
A text message can help take the pressure off the other person, too. With a text, they won’t feel pressured to answer immediately, like they would in a verbal conversation.
Remember, when you’re texting, it’s a lot harder for the other person to judge how you’re really feeling. They can’t see you or hear the tone of your voice. Use clear, specific language, or even throw in some emojis to help you express yourself better.
1-3. Call them on the phone if you don’t want to ask face-to-face.
If talking to the person face-to-face seems too intimidating, a phone call might be easier. Call them when you think they’ll be free, like after school or work, or on the weekend.
If they can talk, try saying something like, “I wanted to talk to you because I’ve been getting the feeling that you have deeper feelings for me. I like you, so I thought I would just call and ask.”
A phone call is also a good alternative if meeting in person isn’t possible or safe—for instance, because of social distancing due to the coronavirus outbreak.
1-4. Set up a video chat if you want a more intimate conversation.
If you can’t get together with the other person in real life, but you still want a face-to-face chat, a video call is a good way to go. Send them a text, instant message, or email to find out when is a good time for them to chat. Set up your computer in a quiet place where you won’t have any distractions or interruptions, so that you can make the conversation as comfortable as possible.
Agree with them ahead of time about what video chat app you’re going to use, so there’s no confusion. For example, you might say, “Hey, are you up for a Google Duo chat this afternoon?”
Since the other person will be able to see you, boost your confidence by dressing nicely, styling your hair, and tidying up the space that will be on camera.
When you’re talking to the person, be conscious of your body language. Smile and make eye contact, and avoid fiddling with your phone or other distractions while you chat. Pretend they’re in the room with you!
1-5. Keep your conversation direct and honest.
If you’re not meeting in person, it’s especially important to communicate clearly. Even over video chat, you might not be able to spot all the little clues you’d get when talking face-to-face! Ask them how they feel in a clear and simple way, and make sure they understand how you’re feeling, too.
Try saying something like, “Hey, Rasheed, we’ve known each other for a while, and I really enjoy talking to you and being around you. I think I’m starting to like you as more than a friend, and I was wondering if you feel the same way.”
Whatever they say, be kind and respect their answer. For example, if they say they’re not into you romantically, say something like, “I understand. I hope we can continue to be friends and hang out, because I really enjoy your company!”
2. Asking in Person
2-1. Look your best the day of the conversation.
Take a shower, brush your teeth, brush your hair, and put on clothes that are clean and fit you well. If you look good, you’ll feel more confident, which will make it easier to approach the other person to talk to them about how they feel.
If you normally wear makeup, you may want to apply a little, but try to keep your look natural so the other person’s focus will be on you, and not how you look.
Making an effort to look good doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re trying to impress the other person. It just means you’re trying to feel your very best.
2-2. Wait to talk to the person if they seem stressed out, upset, or busy.
Even if you’ve planned exactly when to ask someone if they like you, it’s important to be flexible. If you notice that the other person is already having a bad day, or they’re in the middle of studying, talking to someone else, or just seem stressed out, then it’s probably not the best time to ask them to open up about their emotions.
If you’re not sure, try opening the conversation with a simple question like, “Hey, how’s your day going?” Then, use their response to gauge how they’re feeling.
Before having any difficult conversation, it’s a good idea to set a time that works for both of you. For example, you could say, “Hey, are you free to have a quick chat this afternoon?”
2-3. Try breathing deeply to calm down if you’re anxious.
No matter what outcome you’re hoping for, it’s normal to feel nervous before you face something unknown. Try taking long, deep breaths that go down into your stomach, which can calm your nerves and help you feel more focused.
It may also help if you remind yourself why it’s important to have the conversation. For instance, you might tell yourself something like, “I don’t want to lead Brad on. If he likes me, I’d rather know so I can let him down gently.”
2-4. Ask the person if there’s somewhere you can talk alone.
When you’re ready to ask the person how they feel about you, try to find a time when the two of you can talk in private. If there are other people around, they might feel caught off guard or insecure about answering your question. In fact, depending on who’s around, they may not feel comfortable answering you honestly, or they may feel too shy to say anything at all.
Try saying something like, “Hey, can you walk over to the drink machine with me for a minute?” or “Do you have a free minute so we can talk?”
If you don’t see the person regularly throughout your day, ask them to meet you somewhere you’ll both be comfortable, like a coffee shop or a park.
Just in case things don’t go smoothly, you may want to avoid having the conversation when you’re both somewhere you can’t leave, like in the car together on a long drive.
2-5. Share how you feel about them.
Before you ask the other person if they like you, let them know whether you like them romantically, or if you would rather be just friends. Be kind, but honest, no matter what you have to say.
For instance, you might say, “I really like spending time around you, and I’d like to get to know you better,” or “You’re one of my closest friends, and I don’t want anything to change that.”
2-6. Ask the person directly if they like you.
When you want to know something, the best way to find out is to ask in a straightforward way. Try to have an idea of what you want to say in advance, and keep it simple. However, make sure you emphasize that the person can feel comfortable being honest about their feelings, and that you’re prepared for any answer.
You might say something like, “I just wanted to know if you like me as more than a friend,” for example.
If you tell someone that you aren’t into them, they may tell you they only like you as a friend too, even if they have deeper feelings than that. Don’t feel like you have to push them too hard to confess their “true” feelings if they’re not comfortable with that.
2-7. Be gracious, no matter what they say.
The best-case scenario in this conversation is that the other person feels the same way you do, whether you both like each other or you both just want to be friends. In either case, you can quickly move on to talking about something else. However, if you don’t both feel the same way, it can feel a little upsetting. Try not to show those emotions, though. Instead, let the person know you appreciate that they were honest with you.
It’s normal to feel sad or upset about being rejected by someone you like. If you didn’t get the answer you hoped for, let yourself feel bad about it, but try not to dwell on it.
If you like the person and they don’t like you back in the same way, take a little time to think about whether you can be friends with them. If it’s the other way around, be honest but kind. For example, let them know you’ll give them a little space if they need it, but that you still care for them as a friend (as long as that’s the case).
3. Reading Non-Verbal Signs
3-1. Pay attention to whether the person makes eye contact with you.
People often unconsciously give off small cues when they’re around someone they like. For instance, if you notice that the other person tends to make eye contact with you whenever you’re around, it could be a sign that they like you.
The only way to be sure about how someone feels is just to ask them. For instance, one person might make eye contact with you because they see you as a close friend, while another person who has a big crush on you might avoid eye contact because they’re very shy.
3-2. Notice whether they mirror your behavior.
When you’re talking to someone, try making small movements, then watch what the other person does. If they like you, they may unconsciously copy these movements, which is called “mirroring.”
For instance, you might touch your hair or your face, or you could cross your arms or legs, then uncross them. If the person mimics those movements after a minute or two, they’re mirroring you.
3-3. Look at their posture when you're around.
When you’re talking to this person, pay attention to how they sit or stand. If they lean toward you and have open body language, such as sitting with their arms uncrossed, they may like you. However, if their arms are folded or they’re turned away from you, they may be feeling closed off.
Keep in mind that a person’s posture can have to do with a lot of different factors, including how they’re feeling physically and the overall mood they’re in that day.
3-4. Watch whether they find reasons to touch you.
When someone has a crush on you, they’ll often look for excuses to brush against you. They may touch your hand or your knee when you’re talking, they may always hug you when they see you, or they might let their arm brush against yours when they walk past you. If you notice this, the person might like you.
Some people are just affectionate with everyone, so if you’re not sure, just ask!
Tips
The best way to find out how someone feels about you is to ask them directly. However, if you’re feeling really anxious, you can ask a mutual friend to talk to them for you. Just make sure your friend feels comfortable asking the other person if they like you!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking over the Phone or Text\\n1-1. Get to know the person for a while to see if they might be interested.\\nIf you think someone you just met might like you, try spending a little time talking to them before you ask how they feel. If the two of you don't know each other very well, the other person might not even have an opinion on whether they like you yet, even if they’re flirting with you or they seem interested.\\nFor instance, the person could just have a flirtatious personality, but they could be in a relationship or in another situation that would prevent them from dating you.\\nAsk them open-ended questions like, “What do you do for fun?” and “What kind of music do you listen to?” That way, you can find out if you have anything in common.\\nIf you’re already close with the person, there’s no need to put off the conversation.\\n1-2. Text or message them if you want plenty of time to think about what to say.\\nSending a text or an online message can be the perfect solution if you’re afraid that you’ll get tongue-tied when you’re talking to the person face-to-face or over the phone. Take a few minutes to think about exactly how you want to ask them. Then, when they respond, you’ll have time to think about your response.\\nA text message can help take the pressure off the other person, too. With a text, they won’t feel pressured to answer immediately, like they would in a verbal conversation.\\nRemember, when you’re texting, it’s a lot harder for the other person to judge how you’re really feeling. They can’t see you or hear the tone of your voice. Use clear, specific language, or even throw in some emojis to help you express yourself better.\\n1-3. Call them on the phone if you don’t want to ask face-to-face.\\nIf talking to the person face-to-face seems too intimidating, a phone call might be easier. Call them when you think they’ll be free, like after school or work, or on the weekend.\\nIf they can talk, try saying something like, “I wanted to talk to you because I’ve been getting the feeling that you have deeper feelings for me. I like you, so I thought I would just call and ask.”\\nA phone call is also a good alternative if meeting in person isn’t possible or safe—for instance, because of social distancing due to the coronavirus outbreak.\\n1-4. Set up a video chat if you want a more intimate conversation.\\nIf you can’t get together with the other person in real life, but you still want a face-to-face chat, a video call is a good way to go. Send them a text, instant message, or email to find out when is a good time for them to chat. Set up your computer in a quiet place where you won’t have any distractions or interruptions, so that you can make the conversation as comfortable as possible.\\nAgree with them ahead of time about what video chat app you’re going to use, so there’s no confusion. For example, you might say, “Hey, are you up for a Google Duo chat this afternoon?”\\nSince the other person will be able to see you, boost your confidence by dressing nicely, styling your hair, and tidying up the space that will be on camera.\\nWhen you’re talking to the person, be conscious of your body language. Smile and make eye contact, and avoid fiddling with your phone or other distractions while you chat. Pretend they’re in the room with you!\\n1-5. Keep your conversation direct and honest.\\nIf you’re not meeting in person, it’s especially important to communicate clearly. Even over video chat, you might not be able to spot all the little clues you’d get when talking face-to-face! Ask them how they feel in a clear and simple way, and make sure they understand how you’re feeling, too. \\nTry saying something like, “Hey, Rasheed, we’ve known each other for a while, and I really enjoy talking to you and being around you. I think I’m starting to like you as more than a friend, and I was wondering if you feel the same way.”\\nWhatever they say, be kind and respect their answer. For example, if they say they’re not into you romantically, say something like, “I understand. I hope we can continue to be friends and hang out, because I really enjoy your company!”\\n2. Asking in Person\\n2-1. Look your best the day of the conversation.\\nTake a shower, brush your teeth, brush your hair, and put on clothes that are clean and fit you well. If you look good, you’ll feel more confident, which will make it easier to approach the other person to talk to them about how they feel.\\nIf you normally wear makeup, you may want to apply a little, but try to keep your look natural so the other person’s focus will be on you, and not how you look.\\nMaking an effort to look good doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re trying to impress the other person. It just means you’re trying to feel your very best.\\n2-2. Wait to talk to the person if they seem stressed out, upset, or busy.\\nEven if you’ve planned exactly when to ask someone if they like you, it’s important to be flexible. If you notice that the other person is already having a bad day, or they’re in the middle of studying, talking to someone else, or just seem stressed out, then it’s probably not the best time to ask them to open up about their emotions.\\nIf you’re not sure, try opening the conversation with a simple question like, “Hey, how’s your day going?” Then, use their response to gauge how they’re feeling.\\nBefore having any difficult conversation, it’s a good idea to set a time that works for both of you. For example, you could say, “Hey, are you free to have a quick chat this afternoon?”\\n2-3. Try breathing deeply to calm down if you’re anxious.\\nNo matter what outcome you’re hoping for, it’s normal to feel nervous before you face something unknown. Try taking long, deep breaths that go down into your stomach, which can calm your nerves and help you feel more focused.\\nIt may also help if you remind yourself why it’s important to have the conversation. For instance, you might tell yourself something like, “I don’t want to lead Brad on. If he likes me, I’d rather know so I can let him down gently.”\\n2-4. Ask the person if there’s somewhere you can talk alone.\\nWhen you’re ready to ask the person how they feel about you, try to find a time when the two of you can talk in private. If there are other people around, they might feel caught off guard or insecure about answering your question. In fact, depending on who’s around, they may not feel comfortable answering you honestly, or they may feel too shy to say anything at all.\\nTry saying something like, “Hey, can you walk over to the drink machine with me for a minute?” or “Do you have a free minute so we can talk?”\\nIf you don’t see the person regularly throughout your day, ask them to meet you somewhere you’ll both be comfortable, like a coffee shop or a park.\\nJust in case things don’t go smoothly, you may want to avoid having the conversation when you’re both somewhere you can’t leave, like in the car together on a long drive.\\n2-5. Share how you feel about them.\\nBefore you ask the other person if they like you, let them know whether you like them romantically, or if you would rather be just friends. Be kind, but honest, no matter what you have to say.\\nFor instance, you might say, “I really like spending time around you, and I’d like to get to know you better,” or “You’re one of my closest friends, and I don’t want anything to change that.”\\n2-6. Ask the person directly if they like you.\\nWhen you want to know something, the best way to find out is to ask in a straightforward way. Try to have an idea of what you want to say in advance, and keep it simple. However, make sure you emphasize that the person can feel comfortable being honest about their feelings, and that you’re prepared for any answer.\\nYou might say something like, “I just wanted to know if you like me as more than a friend,” for example.\\nIf you tell someone that you aren’t into them, they may tell you they only like you as a friend too, even if they have deeper feelings than that. Don’t feel like you have to push them too hard to confess their “true” feelings if they’re not comfortable with that.\\n2-7. Be gracious, no matter what they say.\\nThe best-case scenario in this conversation is that the other person feels the same way you do, whether you both like each other or you both just want to be friends. In either case, you can quickly move on to talking about something else. However, if you don’t both feel the same way, it can feel a little upsetting. Try not to show those emotions, though. Instead, let the person know you appreciate that they were honest with you.\\nIt’s normal to feel sad or upset about being rejected by someone you like. If you didn’t get the answer you hoped for, let yourself feel bad about it, but try not to dwell on it.\\nIf you like the person and they don’t like you back in the same way, take a little time to think about whether you can be friends with them. If it’s the other way around, be honest but kind. For example, let them know you’ll give them a little space if they need it, but that you still care for them as a friend (as long as that’s the case).\\n3. Reading Non-Verbal Signs\\n3-1. Pay attention to whether the person makes eye contact with you.\\nPeople often unconsciously give off small cues when they’re around someone they like. For instance, if you notice that the other person tends to make eye contact with you whenever you’re around, it could be a sign that they like you.\\nThe only way to be sure about how someone feels is just to ask them. For instance, one person might make eye contact with you because they see you as a close friend, while another person who has a big crush on you might avoid eye contact because they’re very shy.\\n3-2. Notice whether they mirror your behavior.\\nWhen you’re talking to someone, try making small movements, then watch what the other person does. If they like you, they may unconsciously copy these movements, which is called “mirroring.”\\nFor instance, you might touch your hair or your face, or you could cross your arms or legs, then uncross them. If the person mimics those movements after a minute or two, they’re mirroring you.\\n3-3. Look at their posture when you're around.\\nWhen you’re talking to this person, pay attention to how they sit or stand. If they lean toward you and have open body language, such as sitting with their arms uncrossed, they may like you. However, if their arms are folded or they’re turned away from you, they may be feeling closed off.\\nKeep in mind that a person’s posture can have to do with a lot of different factors, including how they’re feeling physically and the overall mood they’re in that day.\\n3-4. Watch whether they find reasons to touch you.\\nWhen someone has a crush on you, they’ll often look for excuses to brush against you. They may touch your hand or your knee when you’re talking, they may always hug you when they see you, or they might let their arm brush against yours when they walk past you. If you notice this, the person might like you.\\nSome people are just affectionate with everyone, so if you’re not sure, just ask!\\nTips\\nThe best way to find out how someone feels about you is to ask them directly. However, if you’re feeling really anxious, you can ask a mutual friend to talk to them for you. Just make sure your friend feels comfortable asking the other person if they like you!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be hard to work up the courage to ask someone if they like you, but if you want to be sure you’re both on the same page, it’s a conversation you may need to have. Whether you have a crush on the person or you just like them as a friend, it’s important to be direct and ask them how they feel. If talking to them in person isn’t an option, you can try asking them over the phone or video chat, writing a note, or texting them instead. You can also read their non-verbal cues when you’re together to get a sense of how they feel about you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking over the Phone or Text\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get to know the person for a while to see if they might be interested.\", \"描述\": \"If you think someone you just met might like you, try spending a little time talking to them before you ask how they feel. If the two of you don't know each other very well, the other person might not even have an opinion on whether they like you yet, even if they’re flirting with you or they seem interested.\\nFor instance, the person could just have a flirtatious personality, but they could be in a relationship or in another situation that would prevent them from dating you.\\nAsk them open-ended questions like, “What do you do for fun?” and “What kind of music do you listen to?” That way, you can find out if you have anything in common.\\nIf you’re already close with the person, there’s no need to put off the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Text or message them if you want plenty of time to think about what to say.\", \"描述\": \"Sending a text or an online message can be the perfect solution if you’re afraid that you’ll get tongue-tied when you’re talking to the person face-to-face or over the phone. Take a few minutes to think about exactly how you want to ask them. Then, when they respond, you’ll have time to think about your response.\\nA text message can help take the pressure off the other person, too. With a text, they won’t feel pressured to answer immediately, like they would in a verbal conversation.\\nRemember, when you’re texting, it’s a lot harder for the other person to judge how you’re really feeling. They can’t see you or hear the tone of your voice. Use clear, specific language, or even throw in some emojis to help you express yourself better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Call them on the phone if you don’t want to ask face-to-face.\", \"描述\": \"If talking to the person face-to-face seems too intimidating, a phone call might be easier. Call them when you think they’ll be free, like after school or work, or on the weekend.\\nIf they can talk, try saying something like, “I wanted to talk to you because I’ve been getting the feeling that you have deeper feelings for me. I like you, so I thought I would just call and ask.”\\nA phone call is also a good alternative if meeting in person isn’t possible or safe—for instance, because of social distancing due to the coronavirus outbreak.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set up a video chat if you want a more intimate conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If you can’t get together with the other person in real life, but you still want a face-to-face chat, a video call is a good way to go. Send them a text, instant message, or email to find out when is a good time for them to chat. Set up your computer in a quiet place where you won’t have any distractions or interruptions, so that you can make the conversation as comfortable as possible.\\nAgree with them ahead of time about what video chat app you’re going to use, so there’s no confusion. For example, you might say, “Hey, are you up for a Google Duo chat this afternoon?”\\nSince the other person will be able to see you, boost your confidence by dressing nicely, styling your hair, and tidying up the space that will be on camera.\\nWhen you’re talking to the person, be conscious of your body language. Smile and make eye contact, and avoid fiddling with your phone or other distractions while you chat. Pretend they’re in the room with you!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your conversation direct and honest.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re not meeting in person, it’s especially important to communicate clearly. Even over video chat, you might not be able to spot all the little clues you’d get when talking face-to-face! Ask them how they feel in a clear and simple way, and make sure they understand how you’re feeling, too. \\nTry saying something like, “Hey, Rasheed, we’ve known each other for a while, and I really enjoy talking to you and being around you. I think I’m starting to like you as more than a friend, and I was wondering if you feel the same way.”\\nWhatever they say, be kind and respect their answer. For example, if they say they’re not into you romantically, say something like, “I understand. I hope we can continue to be friends and hang out, because I really enjoy your company!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking in Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look your best the day of the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Take a shower, brush your teeth, brush your hair, and put on clothes that are clean and fit you well. If you look good, you’ll feel more confident, which will make it easier to approach the other person to talk to them about how they feel.\\nIf you normally wear makeup, you may want to apply a little, but try to keep your look natural so the other person’s focus will be on you, and not how you look.\\nMaking an effort to look good doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re trying to impress the other person. It just means you’re trying to feel your very best.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wait to talk to the person if they seem stressed out, upset, or busy.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you’ve planned exactly when to ask someone if they like you, it’s important to be flexible. If you notice that the other person is already having a bad day, or they’re in the middle of studying, talking to someone else, or just seem stressed out, then it’s probably not the best time to ask them to open up about their emotions.\\nIf you’re not sure, try opening the conversation with a simple question like, “Hey, how’s your day going?” Then, use their response to gauge how they’re feeling.\\nBefore having any difficult conversation, it’s a good idea to set a time that works for both of you. For example, you could say, “Hey, are you free to have a quick chat this afternoon?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try breathing deeply to calm down if you’re anxious.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what outcome you’re hoping for, it’s normal to feel nervous before you face something unknown. Try taking long, deep breaths that go down into your stomach, which can calm your nerves and help you feel more focused.\\nIt may also help if you remind yourself why it’s important to have the conversation. For instance, you might tell yourself something like, “I don’t want to lead Brad on. If he likes me, I’d rather know so I can let him down gently.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask the person if there’s somewhere you can talk alone.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re ready to ask the person how they feel about you, try to find a time when the two of you can talk in private. If there are other people around, they might feel caught off guard or insecure about answering your question. In fact, depending on who’s around, they may not feel comfortable answering you honestly, or they may feel too shy to say anything at all.\\nTry saying something like, “Hey, can you walk over to the drink machine with me for a minute?” or “Do you have a free minute so we can talk?”\\nIf you don’t see the person regularly throughout your day, ask them to meet you somewhere you’ll both be comfortable, like a coffee shop or a park.\\nJust in case things don’t go smoothly, you may want to avoid having the conversation when you’re both somewhere you can’t leave, like in the car together on a long drive.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Share how you feel about them.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask the other person if they like you, let them know whether you like them romantically, or if you would rather be just friends. Be kind, but honest, no matter what you have to say.\\nFor instance, you might say, “I really like spending time around you, and I’d like to get to know you better,” or “You’re one of my closest friends, and I don’t want anything to change that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask the person directly if they like you.\", \"描述\": \"When you want to know something, the best way to find out is to ask in a straightforward way. Try to have an idea of what you want to say in advance, and keep it simple. However, make sure you emphasize that the person can feel comfortable being honest about their feelings, and that you’re prepared for any answer.\\nYou might say something like, “I just wanted to know if you like me as more than a friend,” for example.\\nIf you tell someone that you aren’t into them, they may tell you they only like you as a friend too, even if they have deeper feelings than that. Don’t feel like you have to push them too hard to confess their “true” feelings if they’re not comfortable with that.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be gracious, no matter what they say.\", \"描述\": \"The best-case scenario in this conversation is that the other person feels the same way you do, whether you both like each other or you both just want to be friends. In either case, you can quickly move on to talking about something else. However, if you don’t both feel the same way, it can feel a little upsetting. Try not to show those emotions, though. Instead, let the person know you appreciate that they were honest with you.\\nIt’s normal to feel sad or upset about being rejected by someone you like. If you didn’t get the answer you hoped for, let yourself feel bad about it, but try not to dwell on it.\\nIf you like the person and they don’t like you back in the same way, take a little time to think about whether you can be friends with them. If it’s the other way around, be honest but kind. For example, let them know you’ll give them a little space if they need it, but that you still care for them as a friend (as long as that’s the case).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reading Non-Verbal Signs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to whether the person makes eye contact with you.\", \"描述\": \"People often unconsciously give off small cues when they’re around someone they like. For instance, if you notice that the other person tends to make eye contact with you whenever you’re around, it could be a sign that they like you.\\nThe only way to be sure about how someone feels is just to ask them. For instance, one person might make eye contact with you because they see you as a close friend, while another person who has a big crush on you might avoid eye contact because they’re very shy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Notice whether they mirror your behavior.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re talking to someone, try making small movements, then watch what the other person does. If they like you, they may unconsciously copy these movements, which is called “mirroring.”\\nFor instance, you might touch your hair or your face, or you could cross your arms or legs, then uncross them. If the person mimics those movements after a minute or two, they’re mirroring you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look at their posture when you're around.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re talking to this person, pay attention to how they sit or stand. If they lean toward you and have open body language, such as sitting with their arms uncrossed, they may like you. However, if their arms are folded or they’re turned away from you, they may be feeling closed off.\\nKeep in mind that a person’s posture can have to do with a lot of different factors, including how they’re feeling physically and the overall mood they’re in that day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch whether they find reasons to touch you.\", \"描述\": \"When someone has a crush on you, they’ll often look for excuses to brush against you. They may touch your hand or your knee when you’re talking, they may always hug you when they see you, or they might let their arm brush against yours when they walk past you. If you notice this, the person might like you.\\nSome people are just affectionate with everyone, so if you’re not sure, just ask!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"The best way to find out how someone feels about you is to ask them directly. However, if you’re feeling really anxious, you can ask a mutual friend to talk to them for you. Just make sure your friend feels comfortable asking the other person if they like you!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,474 | How to Ask Someone if They Like You as a Friend or in a Romantic Way | 1. Hint at it with a vague question.
Gauge their interest by asking how they feel.
If you’re looking for a less obvious way to bring up your friendship, casually mention what you enjoy about your relationship. Bring up something like enjoying your time together or how you feel when you’re with them. Ask if they feel like that too to see if they view your friendship the same way.
For example, you could say, “It’s really nice to spend time together with just the two of us, don’t you think so?”
To find out if they like you romantically, you could ask, “I know someone who has a crush on you and they’re really cool. Can you guess who?”
Sometimes, the other person will say “yes” just to be polite. Pay attention to their tone and body language. If they sound happy and have a big smile, it’s a good sign they truly like being around you.
2. Try saying something funny.
People usually laugh at jokes if they’re your friends.
Bust out your favorite one-liners or goofy jokes that have made your other friends laugh in the past. If the other person smiles or laughs along with you, it’s a sign they’re interested in and support you. If they don’t laugh, it might mean they don’t think of you as a close friend or don’t have any romantic interest.
3. Shoot them a text message.
Skip talking face-to-face if you’re nervous.
It feels a lot less stressful asking the other person when you can’t see or hear them. You have all the time you need to send a text, so think of what to say and choose your words carefully so it’s clear what you’re asking. When you feel ready to pop the question, send your message and wait for their response.
For example, you may send, “Hi Amy, it’s Jim from science. Being your lab partner has made class so much better. Do you want to get together after school sometime and hang out?”
If you want to make your message a little flirty, try, “Hey there! It’s Josh from the football game. It was so fun cheering our team on together! I’d like to see you again, so do you want to stop by a cafe this weekend and get to know each other?”
Don’t get discouraged if you don’t get a reply immediately. Remember that the other person is probably just busy and can’t answer right away.
4. Tell them how you feel.
Open up first so they aren’t scared to talk.
When you chat, tell the other person what you like about your friendship. Ask how they feel when you finish talking to see if they feel the same way. Since they might have felt nervous about the subject too, they might be more comfortable once they hear your thoughts.
For example, try saying something like, “I’m so glad we’ve gotten to hang out a bunch this summer. You’re one of my best friends! How do you feel about us?”
To see if someone likes you romantically, you could say, “I’ve had so much fun getting to know you during class, and I think I’m starting to like you as more than a friend. I hope you feel that way too?”
5. Call them on the phone.
This works great if you can’t see them in person.
If you live far away or just feel a little too nervous to bring it up, get their number and call them. If you don’t have their number, see if one of your mutual friends can give it to you. Start off with some casual chit-chat about your day to lighten the mood before asking about your friendship. Then ask them whether they would like to hang out together.
For example, you could say, “It’s been really fun working together in history class. Do you want to hang out as friends soon? We could hit up the mall on Friday!”
To see if someone wants to go on a date, try saying, “It’s been so fun talking with you during lunch. I’d love to get to know you even more. Would you like to go out and get dinner sometime so it’s just us?”
If you’re feeling nervous to ask, take a few deep breaths to calm down before making the call.
If you still want to see their reaction to you asking the question, try doing a video call instead.
6. Write a short note.
Something handwritten shows you really care.
You can either write a long letter on a piece of paper or a short sticky note depending on how much you have to say. Just let the other person know how you’re feeling and ask if they feel that way too. Hand the note to them, leave it in their locker, or hide it in their bag so they can read it whenever they have a chance. Give the person a little time to respond, but don’t be afraid to ask them about it later in person.
For example, you could write something like, “Hi Rebecca, I hope you’re doing well! I think we’re pretty good friends and I just wanted to know if you think of me like that too? We’ve gotten so close this year and I would love to hang out more sometime soon.”
For a more romantic note, try saying, “Hey Susan, you actually made math class fun when we worked together. It was so nice goofing around with you and I’d love to get to know you more. Do you want to go bowling with me this weekend?”
7. Send them a GIF or meme.
Pictures keep the mood light and fun!
Search for terms like “besties” or “friends” and find a funny or relatable meme you like. There are so many to choose from, so you should find one that fits perfectly. Drop the meme into a text message or online chat while you’re talking with the other person. Wait for the other person to reply to see how they react.
Try to find a meme or GIF from something that you both enjoy. For example, if you each like animated movies, you may send a picture of Buzz and Woody from Toy Story that has the caption “You’re my best friend to infinity and beyond!”
If you’re trying to find out if they like you as more than a friend, you can try sending a meme that simply says, “Do you like me?” That way, it’s indirect and can be played off as a joke if they don’t feel the same way about you.
8. Ask in person.
That way, you can find out right away.
Even though it might feel a little scary at first, you’ll know exactly how the person feels about you. Find a time and place where you can get together in private so you feel a little more comfortable asking. Simply bring up your friendship and see how they feel about it.
For example, you could say something like, “Hey man, I had a blast this weekend! You’ve become a really good friend to me and I hope you feel the same?”
If you want to find out if the person likes you as more than a friend, you could try, “Hey, it’s been so fun hanging out today! I think we have a really good connection, so do you want to get together soon for a date?”
Don't corner them at a party, on a subway, or in another place where they might feel like they have no escape route.
If they need time to think, let them take it. Don't make them feel pressured to reply immediately.
9. See if they’ll do you a favor.
Friends love helping each other out.
When someone does you a favor, it means they trust you and shows that they care about your friendship. Ask the other person if they can help out for a little while, such as carrying something heavy or getting a recommendation for a book to read. If the person feels comfortable assisting you, they may think of you as a close friend.
For example, you could ask, “Hey, could you do me a favor and help me pick out some clothes for the party tonight? I trust your opinion and want to look good.”
Avoid asking for large favors, such as dog-sitting while you’re on vacation, unless you already know you’re close friends. Otherwise, it might feel overwhelming for the other person.
Don’t ask for a lot of favors since it could seem like you’re using the other person for your own gain. Make sure you also offer to help them out and return the favor.
10. Have a mutual friend ask for you.
Avoid the nerves and let someone else ask instead.
Reach out to someone that’s pretty close with the other person so it doesn’t feel awkward when they talk to them. Have your mutual friend casually mention you in a conversation to see if the other person comments on how they feel about you.
For example you could have your friend ask the other person, “So I’ve seen you hanging out with Jeremy a bit lately. How’s that going for you guys?”
As another example, your friend could say, “I was thinking about having a couple of friends over, like you and Jeremy. Do you like him at all?”
Tips
Even if you don’t get the response you were hoping for, stay polite and respectful.[14]
X
Research source
Check if the other person is making eye contact or showing physical cues, such as leaning closer to you or using the same body language as you. These could also be signs that the person likes you.[15]
X
Research source
Warnings
It’s completely normal to feel nervous when you’re talking to the other person. Just be honest and open about it since your friend might feel the same way.[16]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Hint at it with a vague question.\\nGauge their interest by asking how they feel.\\nIf you’re looking for a less obvious way to bring up your friendship, casually mention what you enjoy about your relationship. Bring up something like enjoying your time together or how you feel when you’re with them. Ask if they feel like that too to see if they view your friendship the same way.\\nFor example, you could say, “It’s really nice to spend time together with just the two of us, don’t you think so?”\\nTo find out if they like you romantically, you could ask, “I know someone who has a crush on you and they’re really cool. Can you guess who?”\\nSometimes, the other person will say “yes” just to be polite. Pay attention to their tone and body language. If they sound happy and have a big smile, it’s a good sign they truly like being around you.\\n2. Try saying something funny.\\nPeople usually laugh at jokes if they’re your friends.\\nBust out your favorite one-liners or goofy jokes that have made your other friends laugh in the past. If the other person smiles or laughs along with you, it’s a sign they’re interested in and support you. If they don’t laugh, it might mean they don’t think of you as a close friend or don’t have any romantic interest.\\n3. Shoot them a text message.\\nSkip talking face-to-face if you’re nervous.\\nIt feels a lot less stressful asking the other person when you can’t see or hear them. You have all the time you need to send a text, so think of what to say and choose your words carefully so it’s clear what you’re asking. When you feel ready to pop the question, send your message and wait for their response.\\nFor example, you may send, “Hi Amy, it’s Jim from science. Being your lab partner has made class so much better. Do you want to get together after school sometime and hang out?”\\nIf you want to make your message a little flirty, try, “Hey there! It’s Josh from the football game. It was so fun cheering our team on together! I’d like to see you again, so do you want to stop by a cafe this weekend and get to know each other?”\\nDon’t get discouraged if you don’t get a reply immediately. Remember that the other person is probably just busy and can’t answer right away.\\n4. Tell them how you feel.\\nOpen up first so they aren’t scared to talk.\\nWhen you chat, tell the other person what you like about your friendship. Ask how they feel when you finish talking to see if they feel the same way. Since they might have felt nervous about the subject too, they might be more comfortable once they hear your thoughts.\\nFor example, try saying something like, “I’m so glad we’ve gotten to hang out a bunch this summer. You’re one of my best friends! How do you feel about us?”\\nTo see if someone likes you romantically, you could say, “I’ve had so much fun getting to know you during class, and I think I’m starting to like you as more than a friend. I hope you feel that way too?”\\n5. Call them on the phone.\\nThis works great if you can’t see them in person.\\nIf you live far away or just feel a little too nervous to bring it up, get their number and call them. If you don’t have their number, see if one of your mutual friends can give it to you. Start off with some casual chit-chat about your day to lighten the mood before asking about your friendship. Then ask them whether they would like to hang out together.\\nFor example, you could say, “It’s been really fun working together in history class. Do you want to hang out as friends soon? We could hit up the mall on Friday!”\\nTo see if someone wants to go on a date, try saying, “It’s been so fun talking with you during lunch. I’d love to get to know you even more. Would you like to go out and get dinner sometime so it’s just us?”\\nIf you’re feeling nervous to ask, take a few deep breaths to calm down before making the call.\\nIf you still want to see their reaction to you asking the question, try doing a video call instead.\\n6. Write a short note.\\nSomething handwritten shows you really care.\\nYou can either write a long letter on a piece of paper or a short sticky note depending on how much you have to say. Just let the other person know how you’re feeling and ask if they feel that way too. Hand the note to them, leave it in their locker, or hide it in their bag so they can read it whenever they have a chance. Give the person a little time to respond, but don’t be afraid to ask them about it later in person.\\nFor example, you could write something like, “Hi Rebecca, I hope you’re doing well! I think we’re pretty good friends and I just wanted to know if you think of me like that too? We’ve gotten so close this year and I would love to hang out more sometime soon.”\\nFor a more romantic note, try saying, “Hey Susan, you actually made math class fun when we worked together. It was so nice goofing around with you and I’d love to get to know you more. Do you want to go bowling with me this weekend?”\\n7. Send them a GIF or meme.\\nPictures keep the mood light and fun!\\nSearch for terms like “besties” or “friends” and find a funny or relatable meme you like. There are so many to choose from, so you should find one that fits perfectly. Drop the meme into a text message or online chat while you’re talking with the other person. Wait for the other person to reply to see how they react.\\nTry to find a meme or GIF from something that you both enjoy. For example, if you each like animated movies, you may send a picture of Buzz and Woody from Toy Story that has the caption “You’re my best friend to infinity and beyond!”\\nIf you’re trying to find out if they like you as more than a friend, you can try sending a meme that simply says, “Do you like me?” That way, it’s indirect and can be played off as a joke if they don’t feel the same way about you.\\n8. Ask in person.\\nThat way, you can find out right away.\\nEven though it might feel a little scary at first, you’ll know exactly how the person feels about you. Find a time and place where you can get together in private so you feel a little more comfortable asking. Simply bring up your friendship and see how they feel about it.\\nFor example, you could say something like, “Hey man, I had a blast this weekend! You’ve become a really good friend to me and I hope you feel the same?”\\nIf you want to find out if the person likes you as more than a friend, you could try, “Hey, it’s been so fun hanging out today! I think we have a really good connection, so do you want to get together soon for a date?”\\nDon't corner them at a party, on a subway, or in another place where they might feel like they have no escape route.\\nIf they need time to think, let them take it. Don't make them feel pressured to reply immediately.\\n9. See if they’ll do you a favor.\\nFriends love helping each other out.\\nWhen someone does you a favor, it means they trust you and shows that they care about your friendship. Ask the other person if they can help out for a little while, such as carrying something heavy or getting a recommendation for a book to read. If the person feels comfortable assisting you, they may think of you as a close friend. \\nFor example, you could ask, “Hey, could you do me a favor and help me pick out some clothes for the party tonight? I trust your opinion and want to look good.”\\nAvoid asking for large favors, such as dog-sitting while you’re on vacation, unless you already know you’re close friends. Otherwise, it might feel overwhelming for the other person.\\nDon’t ask for a lot of favors since it could seem like you’re using the other person for your own gain. Make sure you also offer to help them out and return the favor.\\n10. Have a mutual friend ask for you.\\nAvoid the nerves and let someone else ask instead.\\nReach out to someone that’s pretty close with the other person so it doesn’t feel awkward when they talk to them. Have your mutual friend casually mention you in a conversation to see if the other person comments on how they feel about you.\\nFor example you could have your friend ask the other person, “So I’ve seen you hanging out with Jeremy a bit lately. How’s that going for you guys?”\\nAs another example, your friend could say, “I was thinking about having a couple of friends over, like you and Jeremy. Do you like him at all?”\\nTips\\nEven if you don’t get the response you were hoping for, stay polite and respectful.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nCheck if the other person is making eye contact or showing physical cues, such as leaning closer to you or using the same body language as you. These could also be signs that the person likes you.[15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nIt’s completely normal to feel nervous when you’re talking to the other person. Just be honest and open about it since your friend might feel the same way.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you really like spending time and hanging out with someone, you’re probably wondering if they feel the same way. While it’s sometimes pretty easy to tell if somebody is your friend, it never hurts to ask, especially if you want to pursue a more serious relationship with them. We know that it’s a little nerve-wracking to have this conversation, but there are a lot of ways to talk about it without any stress. Keep reading for a list of different direct and indirect ways you can pose the question.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hint at it with a vague question.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gauge their interest by asking how they feel.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re looking for a less obvious way to bring up your friendship, casually mention what you enjoy about your relationship. Bring up something like enjoying your time together or how you feel when you’re with them. Ask if they feel like that too to see if they view your friendship the same way.\\nFor example, you could say, “It’s really nice to spend time together with just the two of us, don’t you think so?”\\nTo find out if they like you romantically, you could ask, “I know someone who has a crush on you and they’re really cool. Can you guess who?”\\nSometimes, the other person will say “yes” just to be polite. Pay attention to their tone and body language. If they sound happy and have a big smile, it’s a good sign they truly like being around you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try saying something funny.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"People usually laugh at jokes if they’re your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Bust out your favorite one-liners or goofy jokes that have made your other friends laugh in the past. If the other person smiles or laughs along with you, it’s a sign they’re interested in and support you. If they don’t laugh, it might mean they don’t think of you as a close friend or don’t have any romantic interest.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shoot them a text message.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Skip talking face-to-face if you’re nervous.\", \"描述\": \"It feels a lot less stressful asking the other person when you can’t see or hear them. You have all the time you need to send a text, so think of what to say and choose your words carefully so it’s clear what you’re asking. When you feel ready to pop the question, send your message and wait for their response.\\nFor example, you may send, “Hi Amy, it’s Jim from science. Being your lab partner has made class so much better. Do you want to get together after school sometime and hang out?”\\nIf you want to make your message a little flirty, try, “Hey there! It’s Josh from the football game. It was so fun cheering our team on together! I’d like to see you again, so do you want to stop by a cafe this weekend and get to know each other?”\\nDon’t get discouraged if you don’t get a reply immediately. Remember that the other person is probably just busy and can’t answer right away.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell them how you feel.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open up first so they aren’t scared to talk.\", \"描述\": \"When you chat, tell the other person what you like about your friendship. Ask how they feel when you finish talking to see if they feel the same way. Since they might have felt nervous about the subject too, they might be more comfortable once they hear your thoughts.\\nFor example, try saying something like, “I’m so glad we’ve gotten to hang out a bunch this summer. You’re one of my best friends! How do you feel about us?”\\nTo see if someone likes you romantically, you could say, “I’ve had so much fun getting to know you during class, and I think I’m starting to like you as more than a friend. I hope you feel that way too?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Call them on the phone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This works great if you can’t see them in person.\", \"描述\": \"If you live far away or just feel a little too nervous to bring it up, get their number and call them. If you don’t have their number, see if one of your mutual friends can give it to you. Start off with some casual chit-chat about your day to lighten the mood before asking about your friendship. Then ask them whether they would like to hang out together.\\nFor example, you could say, “It’s been really fun working together in history class. Do you want to hang out as friends soon? We could hit up the mall on Friday!”\\nTo see if someone wants to go on a date, try saying, “It’s been so fun talking with you during lunch. I’d love to get to know you even more. Would you like to go out and get dinner sometime so it’s just us?”\\nIf you’re feeling nervous to ask, take a few deep breaths to calm down before making the call.\\nIf you still want to see their reaction to you asking the question, try doing a video call instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write a short note.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Something handwritten shows you really care.\", \"描述\": \"You can either write a long letter on a piece of paper or a short sticky note depending on how much you have to say. Just let the other person know how you’re feeling and ask if they feel that way too. Hand the note to them, leave it in their locker, or hide it in their bag so they can read it whenever they have a chance. Give the person a little time to respond, but don’t be afraid to ask them about it later in person.\\nFor example, you could write something like, “Hi Rebecca, I hope you’re doing well! I think we’re pretty good friends and I just wanted to know if you think of me like that too? We’ve gotten so close this year and I would love to hang out more sometime soon.”\\nFor a more romantic note, try saying, “Hey Susan, you actually made math class fun when we worked together. It was so nice goofing around with you and I’d love to get to know you more. Do you want to go bowling with me this weekend?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Send them a GIF or meme.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pictures keep the mood light and fun!\", \"描述\": \"Search for terms like “besties” or “friends” and find a funny or relatable meme you like. There are so many to choose from, so you should find one that fits perfectly. Drop the meme into a text message or online chat while you’re talking with the other person. Wait for the other person to reply to see how they react.\\nTry to find a meme or GIF from something that you both enjoy. For example, if you each like animated movies, you may send a picture of Buzz and Woody from Toy Story that has the caption “You’re my best friend to infinity and beyond!”\\nIf you’re trying to find out if they like you as more than a friend, you can try sending a meme that simply says, “Do you like me?” That way, it’s indirect and can be played off as a joke if they don’t feel the same way about you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"That way, you can find out right away.\", \"描述\": \"Even though it might feel a little scary at first, you’ll know exactly how the person feels about you. Find a time and place where you can get together in private so you feel a little more comfortable asking. Simply bring up your friendship and see how they feel about it.\\nFor example, you could say something like, “Hey man, I had a blast this weekend! You’ve become a really good friend to me and I hope you feel the same?”\\nIf you want to find out if the person likes you as more than a friend, you could try, “Hey, it’s been so fun hanging out today! I think we have a really good connection, so do you want to get together soon for a date?”\\nDon't corner them at a party, on a subway, or in another place where they might feel like they have no escape route.\\nIf they need time to think, let them take it. Don't make them feel pressured to reply immediately.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"See if they’ll do you a favor.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Friends love helping each other out.\", \"描述\": \"When someone does you a favor, it means they trust you and shows that they care about your friendship. Ask the other person if they can help out for a little while, such as carrying something heavy or getting a recommendation for a book to read. If the person feels comfortable assisting you, they may think of you as a close friend. \\nFor example, you could ask, “Hey, could you do me a favor and help me pick out some clothes for the party tonight? I trust your opinion and want to look good.”\\nAvoid asking for large favors, such as dog-sitting while you’re on vacation, unless you already know you’re close friends. Otherwise, it might feel overwhelming for the other person.\\nDon’t ask for a lot of favors since it could seem like you’re using the other person for your own gain. Make sure you also offer to help them out and return the favor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Have a mutual friend ask for you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid the nerves and let someone else ask instead.\", \"描述\": \"Reach out to someone that’s pretty close with the other person so it doesn’t feel awkward when they talk to them. Have your mutual friend casually mention you in a conversation to see if the other person comments on how they feel about you.\\nFor example you could have your friend ask the other person, “So I’ve seen you hanging out with Jeremy a bit lately. How’s that going for you guys?”\\nAs another example, your friend could say, “I was thinking about having a couple of friends over, like you and Jeremy. Do you like him at all?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Even if you don’t get the response you were hoping for, stay polite and respectful.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Check if the other person is making eye contact or showing physical cues, such as leaning closer to you or using the same body language as you. These could also be signs that the person likes you.[15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"It’s completely normal to feel nervous when you’re talking to the other person. Just be honest and open about it since your friend might feel the same way.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,475 | 10 Smart Ways to Ask Someone if They Like Your Friend | 1. Be straight up.
It’s the easiest way to figure out if someone likes your friend.
Make sure you get your friend’s permission before talking to their crush. If your friend’s okay with it, simply walk up to your friend’s crush and pop the question. Try to do it privately so they don’t feel like they’re on the spot.
You could simply ask, “Hey, do you like Breanne?”
Keep in mind that your friend’s crush might be too shy to admit their feelings to you, so they might say no, even if they don’t mean it.
2. Send a quick text.
Use this less invasive option if the person is a little shy.
Your friend’s crush might feel better about admitting their feelings if you shoot them a text or DM. If you have their number, just ask them who they have a crush on or if they like your friend.
Send a simple text like, “Hey, do you have a crush on anyone?”
If the answer is yes, you can forward the good news to your friend! If the answer is no, you can slowly but surely convince your friend to set their sights on someone else.
3. Drop a hint.
Casually mention that your friend thinks the crush is cute.
You don’t have to spill all your friends’ secrets (like how they write about their crush in a journal every night), but you can give their crush a clue. Put your friend on their radar by saying something like:
“You probably already know this, but Jessica thinks you’re cute.”
“Have you talked to Brian lately? I think he kinda likes you.”
4. Inquire about their love life.
Ask if they’re dating anyone to get a read on the situation.
If they’re talking to someone or hanging out with someone else, you can probably tell that they don’t like your friend. If they make it clear that they’re single, though, your friend still has a chance!
Say something like, “So, are you dating anyone?”
Or, “How’s the love life been lately?”
5. See if they’re looking for a relationship.
If your friend’s crush is single, it might be by choice.
Ask them a few questions to see if they’re looking for someone to date or if they’re not super interested. If they are open for a relationship, your friend still has a chance!
Say something like, “You’ve been single for a while now. Are you looking for a new girlfriend?”
Or, “I heard that you and your boyfriend broke up. Are you taking a break from the dating scene for a while?”
6. Ask if they have a type.
Someone’s type is an insight into who they might like.
If your friend’s crush describes your friend to a tee, they’re probably a good match! You can also ask about people they’ve dated in the past to get a better read on who they might like.
Ask something like, “Do you have a type?”
Or, “What kind of people do you normally date?”
7. See if they have a crush on anyone.
Slyly ask your friend’s crush if they like your friend.
Try asking your friend’s crush who they like or who they’re eyeing right now to get a read on the situation. Don’t push it too hard, or you might be a little obvious.
Say something like, “Do you have a crush on anyone?” Or, “Who do you like?”
8. Give a hypothetical about who they’d date.
It’s a great way to ask if they like your friend while staying lowkey.
Phrase it in a way that makes it seem totally crazy. You can keep it lowkey while still getting a straight answer out of your friend’s crush. Try not to make it obvious, and say something like:
“If you absolutely had to date one of my friends, who would you pick?”
“If you had to, which of my friends would you ask out on a date?”
9. Ask if they want your friend’s number.
Be a good wingman by setting the two of them up.
Check in with your friend first to make sure it’s okay. Then, offer to text your friend’s crush your friend’s number so they can hang out later. If they say yes, it’s a good sign!
Say something like, “Hey, I could give you Taylor’s number if you want it.”
Your friend might be embarrassed about this at first, but they’ll be grateful later on when they get a fun text from their crush.
10. Compliment your friend.
If their crush agrees, it’s a great sign!
Try hinting about how cool or awesome your friend is when their crush is around. You could compliment their school work, their outfit, or how kind they are. Try something like:
“Elaine always wears the coolest outfits to school.”
“It’s crazy how smart James is. He’s probably the smartest guy in our school.”
Tips
Your friend’s crush might not want to talk about their feelings with you if they’re shy. Your friend might have better luck asking on their own.
If your friend’s crush doesn’t like them back, you can tell them gently that they might want to find someone new to crush on.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be straight up.\\nIt’s the easiest way to figure out if someone likes your friend.\\nMake sure you get your friend’s permission before talking to their crush. If your friend’s okay with it, simply walk up to your friend’s crush and pop the question. Try to do it privately so they don’t feel like they’re on the spot.\\nYou could simply ask, “Hey, do you like Breanne?”\\nKeep in mind that your friend’s crush might be too shy to admit their feelings to you, so they might say no, even if they don’t mean it.\\n2. Send a quick text.\\nUse this less invasive option if the person is a little shy.\\nYour friend’s crush might feel better about admitting their feelings if you shoot them a text or DM. If you have their number, just ask them who they have a crush on or if they like your friend.\\nSend a simple text like, “Hey, do you have a crush on anyone?”\\nIf the answer is yes, you can forward the good news to your friend! If the answer is no, you can slowly but surely convince your friend to set their sights on someone else.\\n3. Drop a hint.\\nCasually mention that your friend thinks the crush is cute.\\nYou don’t have to spill all your friends’ secrets (like how they write about their crush in a journal every night), but you can give their crush a clue. Put your friend on their radar by saying something like:\\n“You probably already know this, but Jessica thinks you’re cute.”\\n“Have you talked to Brian lately? I think he kinda likes you.”\\n4. Inquire about their love life.\\nAsk if they’re dating anyone to get a read on the situation.\\nIf they’re talking to someone or hanging out with someone else, you can probably tell that they don’t like your friend. If they make it clear that they’re single, though, your friend still has a chance!\\nSay something like, “So, are you dating anyone?”\\nOr, “How’s the love life been lately?”\\n5. See if they’re looking for a relationship.\\nIf your friend’s crush is single, it might be by choice.\\nAsk them a few questions to see if they’re looking for someone to date or if they’re not super interested. If they are open for a relationship, your friend still has a chance!\\nSay something like, “You’ve been single for a while now. Are you looking for a new girlfriend?”\\nOr, “I heard that you and your boyfriend broke up. Are you taking a break from the dating scene for a while?”\\n6. Ask if they have a type.\\nSomeone’s type is an insight into who they might like.\\nIf your friend’s crush describes your friend to a tee, they’re probably a good match! You can also ask about people they’ve dated in the past to get a better read on who they might like.\\nAsk something like, “Do you have a type?”\\nOr, “What kind of people do you normally date?”\\n7. See if they have a crush on anyone.\\nSlyly ask your friend’s crush if they like your friend.\\nTry asking your friend’s crush who they like or who they’re eyeing right now to get a read on the situation. Don’t push it too hard, or you might be a little obvious.\\nSay something like, “Do you have a crush on anyone?” Or, “Who do you like?”\\n8. Give a hypothetical about who they’d date.\\nIt’s a great way to ask if they like your friend while staying lowkey.\\nPhrase it in a way that makes it seem totally crazy. You can keep it lowkey while still getting a straight answer out of your friend’s crush. Try not to make it obvious, and say something like:\\n“If you absolutely had to date one of my friends, who would you pick?”\\n“If you had to, which of my friends would you ask out on a date?”\\n9. Ask if they want your friend’s number.\\nBe a good wingman by setting the two of them up.\\nCheck in with your friend first to make sure it’s okay. Then, offer to text your friend’s crush your friend’s number so they can hang out later. If they say yes, it’s a good sign!\\nSay something like, “Hey, I could give you Taylor’s number if you want it.”\\nYour friend might be embarrassed about this at first, but they’ll be grateful later on when they get a fun text from their crush.\\n10. Compliment your friend.\\nIf their crush agrees, it’s a great sign!\\nTry hinting about how cool or awesome your friend is when their crush is around. You could compliment their school work, their outfit, or how kind they are. Try something like:\\n“Elaine always wears the coolest outfits to school.”\\n“It’s crazy how smart James is. He’s probably the smartest guy in our school.”\\nTips\\nYour friend’s crush might not want to talk about their feelings with you if they’re shy. Your friend might have better luck asking on their own.\\nIf your friend’s crush doesn’t like them back, you can tell them gently that they might want to find someone new to crush on.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When your friend has a new crush, you probably know all about it. Talking, texting, and gushing about them all the time is totally normal—but taking the next step might feel a little scary for your friend. You can be a good friend by putting on your detective hat and seeing if the feeling is mutual.\\n\\nHere are 10 clever ways to ask someone if they’re crushing on your friend.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be straight up.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s the easiest way to figure out if someone likes your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you get your friend’s permission before talking to their crush. If your friend’s okay with it, simply walk up to your friend’s crush and pop the question. Try to do it privately so they don’t feel like they’re on the spot.\\nYou could simply ask, “Hey, do you like Breanne?”\\nKeep in mind that your friend’s crush might be too shy to admit their feelings to you, so they might say no, even if they don’t mean it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send a quick text.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use this less invasive option if the person is a little shy.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend’s crush might feel better about admitting their feelings if you shoot them a text or DM. If you have their number, just ask them who they have a crush on or if they like your friend.\\nSend a simple text like, “Hey, do you have a crush on anyone?”\\nIf the answer is yes, you can forward the good news to your friend! If the answer is no, you can slowly but surely convince your friend to set their sights on someone else.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Drop a hint.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Casually mention that your friend thinks the crush is cute.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to spill all your friends’ secrets (like how they write about their crush in a journal every night), but you can give their crush a clue. Put your friend on their radar by saying something like:\\n“You probably already know this, but Jessica thinks you’re cute.”\\n“Have you talked to Brian lately? I think he kinda likes you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Inquire about their love life.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask if they’re dating anyone to get a read on the situation.\", \"描述\": \"If they’re talking to someone or hanging out with someone else, you can probably tell that they don’t like your friend. If they make it clear that they’re single, though, your friend still has a chance!\\nSay something like, “So, are you dating anyone?”\\nOr, “How’s the love life been lately?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"See if they’re looking for a relationship.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your friend’s crush is single, it might be by choice.\", \"描述\": \"Ask them a few questions to see if they’re looking for someone to date or if they’re not super interested. If they are open for a relationship, your friend still has a chance!\\nSay something like, “You’ve been single for a while now. Are you looking for a new girlfriend?”\\nOr, “I heard that you and your boyfriend broke up. Are you taking a break from the dating scene for a while?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask if they have a type.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Someone’s type is an insight into who they might like.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend’s crush describes your friend to a tee, they’re probably a good match! You can also ask about people they’ve dated in the past to get a better read on who they might like.\\nAsk something like, “Do you have a type?”\\nOr, “What kind of people do you normally date?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"See if they have a crush on anyone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Slyly ask your friend’s crush if they like your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Try asking your friend’s crush who they like or who they’re eyeing right now to get a read on the situation. Don’t push it too hard, or you might be a little obvious.\\nSay something like, “Do you have a crush on anyone?” Or, “Who do you like?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Give a hypothetical about who they’d date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a great way to ask if they like your friend while staying lowkey.\", \"描述\": \"Phrase it in a way that makes it seem totally crazy. You can keep it lowkey while still getting a straight answer out of your friend’s crush. Try not to make it obvious, and say something like:\\n“If you absolutely had to date one of my friends, who would you pick?”\\n“If you had to, which of my friends would you ask out on a date?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Ask if they want your friend’s number.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a good wingman by setting the two of them up.\", \"描述\": \"Check in with your friend first to make sure it’s okay. Then, offer to text your friend’s crush your friend’s number so they can hang out later. If they say yes, it’s a good sign!\\nSay something like, “Hey, I could give you Taylor’s number if you want it.”\\nYour friend might be embarrassed about this at first, but they’ll be grateful later on when they get a fun text from their crush.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Compliment your friend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If their crush agrees, it’s a great sign!\", \"描述\": \"Try hinting about how cool or awesome your friend is when their crush is around. You could compliment their school work, their outfit, or how kind they are. Try something like:\\n“Elaine always wears the coolest outfits to school.”\\n“It’s crazy how smart James is. He’s probably the smartest guy in our school.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Your friend’s crush might not want to talk about their feelings with you if they’re shy. Your friend might have better luck asking on their own.\\n\", \"If your friend’s crush doesn’t like them back, you can tell them gently that they might want to find someone new to crush on.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,476 | How to Ask Someone if They Want to Have Sex | 1. How to Ask for Sex
1-1. Talk about intimacy before you get to the bedroom, if possible.
Bringing up sex ahead of time can help you and the person you're into become more comfortable with each other. If you're seeing someone, ask them about the right time to take things to the next level, how they feel about sex, and about their likes and dislikes.
“If you’re in the mood, would you want to head to the bedroom?”
“Hey, how would you feel about having sex right now?”
“You really turn me on. It’s totally fine if you say no, but would you be interested in sleeping with me?”
“When do you think is the right time for couples to start having sex?”
“How do you feel about sex?”
“Do you feel ready to have sex with me?”
“Are you in the mood tonight?”
1-2. Bring up sex in a comfortable, relaxed environment.
Make sure you and your potential partner have privacy when you ask them if they're interested. Help them feel safe and comfortable, and try to read their body language to ensure they feel at ease.
If you're not dating the person you're into, you might not have the opportunity to have a conversation in advance. Before going all the way, be sure to get clear consent and discuss safe sex options.
You don't necessarily have to talk about sex alone in a room with the door closed. You might be on a date at a restaurant or other public place when you bring up having sex.
Be mindful of those around you. Don't ask your partner about sex when lots of people are within earshot. You don't want to put them on the spot or embarrass them.
1-3. Be honest about how your potential partner makes you feel.
Be straightforward, warm, and polite, and don't try to put on an act or drop cheesy pickup lines. Just be yourself and tell the person you're into how you feel. Let them know you find them attractive, but make sure any compliments you offer are sincere.
Try saying, “I think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met. I don't mean to put on any pressure or anything, but would you want to take things to the next level physically?”
Be courteous and respectful. Don't go into a vivid description of what you want to do with them. If they aren't ready for sex, this could put them off.
1-4. Try to keep the conversation light-hearted.
Talking about sex doesn't have to be super serious. It's one thing if you're talking about a serious topic, like a negative sexual experience or an STI (sexually transmitted infection). However, if you're talking about what turns you on or telling someone you want to have sex, try to be playful or joke around to keep things relaxed.
It's okay to be nervous, and having a sense of humor about your nerves can help put you at ease. If you get tongue-tied, try brushing it off with, “Geez, I sound like Google translate gone wrong,” or just be honest and say, “Sorry I'm a little nervous. Let me start over.“
A little laughter can release nervous energy. However, self-deprecating humor can kill the mood, so go easy on making fun of yourself.
1-5. Check in with your partner when you're fooling around.
If you're already fooling around, read the situation and make sure they're into it before trying to go further. If they don't seem enthusiastic about kissing and touching, back off and check in with them.
In the heat of the moment, you could say, “You're such an amazing kisser, and you turn me on so much. Do you want to take this further?”
You could also try asking, “Should we head to the bedroom?” or “Can I touch you here?”
If you don't think they're into it, stop and ask, “Is everything alright? We can stop if this is going too fast.”
2. Asking about Likes and Dislikes
2-1. Joke around about pleasing them to break the ice.
Let them know you want to make the experience as enjoyable as possible. You don't have to get awkward and directly ask, “What ways do you like having sex?” Instead, express that you care about their likes, dislikes, and boundaries in an appealing, relaxed way.
While it's helpful to talk about likes and dislikes ahead of time, talking about turn-ons can also be really sexy in the moment. Say something like, “So where's your favorite spot to be kissed?” or “Tell me about something you've always wanted to try in bed.”
2-2. Let them know you won't judge them.
Asking someone what they enjoy sexually or what they fantasize about puts them in a vulnerable position. Let them know that they can trust you and that you won't laugh at them or judge them.
Confiding something about yourself first can help them feel more at ease with you. Try telling them how you like to be touched or a position that you enjoy.
Talking about preferences in advance can make sex more enjoyable, but you don't need to go overboard and make each other uncomfortable. You and the person you're into don't have to share your deepest, darkest fantasies, especially if you don't know each other very well.
2-3. Mention what you like, but don't brag about your sexual exploits.
It's one thing to say that you like having your ear nibbled on or neck kissed. However, don't go into too much detail about your experiences or talk about past lovers as if they were conquests.
No one wants to hear all about the last person their date slept with, and bragging about sex is a major mood killer.
You can say "I like kisses on my neck," but don't say "Man, it really turned me on when my last girlfriend kissed my neck and gave me hickies."
2-4. Ask about what they don't like.
You don't want to make turn-offs the main topic of your conversation. However, the experience will be more fun and less awkward if you know that a spot is extra sensitive or a position is uncomfortable for your partner.
While it's good to check in now and then, asking, “Are you alright?” every 30 seconds is a turn-off. Be attentive to their body language, and try to stay in the moment instead of overthinking things.
3. Talking About Safe Sex & Consent
3-1. Make sure your partner gives their consent.
Consent should be clear and enthusiastic. If they seem uncomfortable or aren't sure about having sex, don't try to pressure them. Respect their decision if the answer is no, and don't ask for an explanation.
They might want to kiss or touch, but that doesn't mean they want to have sex.
They also have the right to change their mind and stop if they become uncomfortable at any point.
They have to understand what they're consenting to. If you they say "yes" to going to your bedroom, that doesn't mean they're consenting to sex itself.
3-2. Try to bring up sexual health before you get physical.
Talking about STIs in the moment can ruin the mood, but it's a necessary conversation. Ask your partner if they've been tested within the last 6 months, and inform them about your sexual health in advance.
It's best to talk about sexual health when you and your partner are thinking clearly. You're less likely to make informed decisions in the heat of the moment.
If you're already fooling around and haven't had the conversation, don't feel bad about looking out for your health. If they're sexually active and haven't been tested recently, your best bet is to cool things off until they've been screened.
3-3. Ask what kind of protection they prefer to use.
Always practice safe sex, even if you and your partner have been screened and tested negative for STIs. If you don't have protection on hand, say, “This is really hot, and as much as I hate to stop, we should cool things off until we have a condom/dental dam.”
Talking about safe sex doesn't have to be a turn-off. For example, try asking what kind of condom feels best or if they like flavored or textured varieties.
Try to be positive when you bring up safe sex. Mention that using protection benefits both of you instead of phrasing it like you need to protect yourself from them.
Tips
Looking your best will help set you up for success. When you ask the person you're into about having sex, make sure you're clean and well-groomed.[13]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. How to Ask for Sex\\n1-1. Talk about intimacy before you get to the bedroom, if possible.\\nBringing up sex ahead of time can help you and the person you're into become more comfortable with each other. If you're seeing someone, ask them about the right time to take things to the next level, how they feel about sex, and about their likes and dislikes.\\n\\n\\n“If you’re in the mood, would you want to head to the bedroom?”\\n“Hey, how would you feel about having sex right now?”\\n“You really turn me on. It’s totally fine if you say no, but would you be interested in sleeping with me?”\\n\\n\\n“When do you think is the right time for couples to start having sex?”\\n“How do you feel about sex?”\\n“Do you feel ready to have sex with me?”\\n“Are you in the mood tonight?”\\n1-2. Bring up sex in a comfortable, relaxed environment.\\nMake sure you and your potential partner have privacy when you ask them if they're interested. Help them feel safe and comfortable, and try to read their body language to ensure they feel at ease.\\nIf you're not dating the person you're into, you might not have the opportunity to have a conversation in advance. Before going all the way, be sure to get clear consent and discuss safe sex options.\\nYou don't necessarily have to talk about sex alone in a room with the door closed. You might be on a date at a restaurant or other public place when you bring up having sex.\\nBe mindful of those around you. Don't ask your partner about sex when lots of people are within earshot. You don't want to put them on the spot or embarrass them.\\n1-3. Be honest about how your potential partner makes you feel.\\nBe straightforward, warm, and polite, and don't try to put on an act or drop cheesy pickup lines. Just be yourself and tell the person you're into how you feel. Let them know you find them attractive, but make sure any compliments you offer are sincere.\\nTry saying, “I think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met. I don't mean to put on any pressure or anything, but would you want to take things to the next level physically?”\\nBe courteous and respectful. Don't go into a vivid description of what you want to do with them. If they aren't ready for sex, this could put them off.\\n1-4. Try to keep the conversation light-hearted.\\nTalking about sex doesn't have to be super serious. It's one thing if you're talking about a serious topic, like a negative sexual experience or an STI (sexually transmitted infection). However, if you're talking about what turns you on or telling someone you want to have sex, try to be playful or joke around to keep things relaxed.\\nIt's okay to be nervous, and having a sense of humor about your nerves can help put you at ease. If you get tongue-tied, try brushing it off with, “Geez, I sound like Google translate gone wrong,” or just be honest and say, “Sorry I'm a little nervous. Let me start over.“\\nA little laughter can release nervous energy. However, self-deprecating humor can kill the mood, so go easy on making fun of yourself.\\n1-5. Check in with your partner when you're fooling around.\\nIf you're already fooling around, read the situation and make sure they're into it before trying to go further. If they don't seem enthusiastic about kissing and touching, back off and check in with them.\\nIn the heat of the moment, you could say, “You're such an amazing kisser, and you turn me on so much. Do you want to take this further?”\\nYou could also try asking, “Should we head to the bedroom?” or “Can I touch you here?”\\nIf you don't think they're into it, stop and ask, “Is everything alright? We can stop if this is going too fast.”\\n2. Asking about Likes and Dislikes\\n2-1. Joke around about pleasing them to break the ice.\\nLet them know you want to make the experience as enjoyable as possible. You don't have to get awkward and directly ask, “What ways do you like having sex?” Instead, express that you care about their likes, dislikes, and boundaries in an appealing, relaxed way.\\nWhile it's helpful to talk about likes and dislikes ahead of time, talking about turn-ons can also be really sexy in the moment. Say something like, “So where's your favorite spot to be kissed?” or “Tell me about something you've always wanted to try in bed.”\\n2-2. Let them know you won't judge them.\\nAsking someone what they enjoy sexually or what they fantasize about puts them in a vulnerable position. Let them know that they can trust you and that you won't laugh at them or judge them.\\nConfiding something about yourself first can help them feel more at ease with you. Try telling them how you like to be touched or a position that you enjoy.\\nTalking about preferences in advance can make sex more enjoyable, but you don't need to go overboard and make each other uncomfortable. You and the person you're into don't have to share your deepest, darkest fantasies, especially if you don't know each other very well.\\n2-3. Mention what you like, but don't brag about your sexual exploits.\\nIt's one thing to say that you like having your ear nibbled on or neck kissed. However, don't go into too much detail about your experiences or talk about past lovers as if they were conquests.\\nNo one wants to hear all about the last person their date slept with, and bragging about sex is a major mood killer.\\nYou can say \\\"I like kisses on my neck,\\\" but don't say \\\"Man, it really turned me on when my last girlfriend kissed my neck and gave me hickies.\\\"\\n2-4. Ask about what they don't like.\\nYou don't want to make turn-offs the main topic of your conversation. However, the experience will be more fun and less awkward if you know that a spot is extra sensitive or a position is uncomfortable for your partner.\\nWhile it's good to check in now and then, asking, “Are you alright?” every 30 seconds is a turn-off. Be attentive to their body language, and try to stay in the moment instead of overthinking things.\\n3. Talking About Safe Sex & Consent\\n3-1. Make sure your partner gives their consent.\\nConsent should be clear and enthusiastic. If they seem uncomfortable or aren't sure about having sex, don't try to pressure them. Respect their decision if the answer is no, and don't ask for an explanation.\\nThey might want to kiss or touch, but that doesn't mean they want to have sex.\\nThey also have the right to change their mind and stop if they become uncomfortable at any point.\\nThey have to understand what they're consenting to. If you they say \\\"yes\\\" to going to your bedroom, that doesn't mean they're consenting to sex itself.\\n3-2. Try to bring up sexual health before you get physical.\\nTalking about STIs in the moment can ruin the mood, but it's a necessary conversation. Ask your partner if they've been tested within the last 6 months, and inform them about your sexual health in advance.\\nIt's best to talk about sexual health when you and your partner are thinking clearly. You're less likely to make informed decisions in the heat of the moment.\\nIf you're already fooling around and haven't had the conversation, don't feel bad about looking out for your health. If they're sexually active and haven't been tested recently, your best bet is to cool things off until they've been screened.\\n3-3. Ask what kind of protection they prefer to use.\\nAlways practice safe sex, even if you and your partner have been screened and tested negative for STIs. If you don't have protection on hand, say, “This is really hot, and as much as I hate to stop, we should cool things off until we have a condom/dental dam.”\\nTalking about safe sex doesn't have to be a turn-off. For example, try asking what kind of condom feels best or if they like flavored or textured varieties.\\nTry to be positive when you bring up safe sex. Mention that using protection benefits both of you instead of phrasing it like you need to protect yourself from them.\\nTips\\nLooking your best will help set you up for success. When you ask the person you're into about having sex, make sure you're clean and well-groomed.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re seeing someone casually or you’ve been dating for a while, you might be wondering how to ask them to have sex with you. Asking for sexual consent before making a move is super important, but it can feel awkward to bring it up. Fortunately, it doesn't have to be! We've gathered the best, most trustworthy advice from experts on how to ask for sex in a way that feels natural while still being clear. We’ll walk you through exactly what to say so both you and the person you're into feel comfortable and heard.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"How to Ask for Sex\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk about intimacy before you get to the bedroom, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"Bringing up sex ahead of time can help you and the person you're into become more comfortable with each other. If you're seeing someone, ask them about the right time to take things to the next level, how they feel about sex, and about their likes and dislikes.\\n\\n\\n“If you’re in the mood, would you want to head to the bedroom?”\\n“Hey, how would you feel about having sex right now?”\\n“You really turn me on. It’s totally fine if you say no, but would you be interested in sleeping with me?”\\n\\n\\n“When do you think is the right time for couples to start having sex?”\\n“How do you feel about sex?”\\n“Do you feel ready to have sex with me?”\\n“Are you in the mood tonight?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bring up sex in a comfortable, relaxed environment.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you and your potential partner have privacy when you ask them if they're interested. Help them feel safe and comfortable, and try to read their body language to ensure they feel at ease.\\nIf you're not dating the person you're into, you might not have the opportunity to have a conversation in advance. Before going all the way, be sure to get clear consent and discuss safe sex options.\\nYou don't necessarily have to talk about sex alone in a room with the door closed. You might be on a date at a restaurant or other public place when you bring up having sex.\\nBe mindful of those around you. Don't ask your partner about sex when lots of people are within earshot. You don't want to put them on the spot or embarrass them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest about how your potential partner makes you feel.\", \"描述\": \"Be straightforward, warm, and polite, and don't try to put on an act or drop cheesy pickup lines. Just be yourself and tell the person you're into how you feel. Let them know you find them attractive, but make sure any compliments you offer are sincere.\\nTry saying, “I think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met. I don't mean to put on any pressure or anything, but would you want to take things to the next level physically?”\\nBe courteous and respectful. Don't go into a vivid description of what you want to do with them. If they aren't ready for sex, this could put them off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try to keep the conversation light-hearted.\", \"描述\": \"Talking about sex doesn't have to be super serious. It's one thing if you're talking about a serious topic, like a negative sexual experience or an STI (sexually transmitted infection). However, if you're talking about what turns you on or telling someone you want to have sex, try to be playful or joke around to keep things relaxed.\\nIt's okay to be nervous, and having a sense of humor about your nerves can help put you at ease. If you get tongue-tied, try brushing it off with, “Geez, I sound like Google translate gone wrong,” or just be honest and say, “Sorry I'm a little nervous. Let me start over.“\\nA little laughter can release nervous energy. However, self-deprecating humor can kill the mood, so go easy on making fun of yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check in with your partner when you're fooling around.\", \"描述\": \"If you're already fooling around, read the situation and make sure they're into it before trying to go further. If they don't seem enthusiastic about kissing and touching, back off and check in with them.\\nIn the heat of the moment, you could say, “You're such an amazing kisser, and you turn me on so much. Do you want to take this further?”\\nYou could also try asking, “Should we head to the bedroom?” or “Can I touch you here?”\\nIf you don't think they're into it, stop and ask, “Is everything alright? We can stop if this is going too fast.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking about Likes and Dislikes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Joke around about pleasing them to break the ice.\", \"描述\": \"Let them know you want to make the experience as enjoyable as possible. You don't have to get awkward and directly ask, “What ways do you like having sex?” Instead, express that you care about their likes, dislikes, and boundaries in an appealing, relaxed way.\\nWhile it's helpful to talk about likes and dislikes ahead of time, talking about turn-ons can also be really sexy in the moment. Say something like, “So where's your favorite spot to be kissed?” or “Tell me about something you've always wanted to try in bed.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let them know you won't judge them.\", \"描述\": \"Asking someone what they enjoy sexually or what they fantasize about puts them in a vulnerable position. Let them know that they can trust you and that you won't laugh at them or judge them.\\nConfiding something about yourself first can help them feel more at ease with you. Try telling them how you like to be touched or a position that you enjoy.\\nTalking about preferences in advance can make sex more enjoyable, but you don't need to go overboard and make each other uncomfortable. You and the person you're into don't have to share your deepest, darkest fantasies, especially if you don't know each other very well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mention what you like, but don't brag about your sexual exploits.\", \"描述\": \"It's one thing to say that you like having your ear nibbled on or neck kissed. However, don't go into too much detail about your experiences or talk about past lovers as if they were conquests.\\nNo one wants to hear all about the last person their date slept with, and bragging about sex is a major mood killer.\\nYou can say \\\"I like kisses on my neck,\\\" but don't say \\\"Man, it really turned me on when my last girlfriend kissed my neck and gave me hickies.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask about what they don't like.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to make turn-offs the main topic of your conversation. However, the experience will be more fun and less awkward if you know that a spot is extra sensitive or a position is uncomfortable for your partner.\\nWhile it's good to check in now and then, asking, “Are you alright?” every 30 seconds is a turn-off. Be attentive to their body language, and try to stay in the moment instead of overthinking things.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talking About Safe Sex & Consent\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure your partner gives their consent.\", \"描述\": \"Consent should be clear and enthusiastic. If they seem uncomfortable or aren't sure about having sex, don't try to pressure them. Respect their decision if the answer is no, and don't ask for an explanation.\\nThey might want to kiss or touch, but that doesn't mean they want to have sex.\\nThey also have the right to change their mind and stop if they become uncomfortable at any point.\\nThey have to understand what they're consenting to. If you they say \\\"yes\\\" to going to your bedroom, that doesn't mean they're consenting to sex itself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to bring up sexual health before you get physical.\", \"描述\": \"Talking about STIs in the moment can ruin the mood, but it's a necessary conversation. Ask your partner if they've been tested within the last 6 months, and inform them about your sexual health in advance.\\nIt's best to talk about sexual health when you and your partner are thinking clearly. You're less likely to make informed decisions in the heat of the moment.\\nIf you're already fooling around and haven't had the conversation, don't feel bad about looking out for your health. If they're sexually active and haven't been tested recently, your best bet is to cool things off until they've been screened.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask what kind of protection they prefer to use.\", \"描述\": \"Always practice safe sex, even if you and your partner have been screened and tested negative for STIs. If you don't have protection on hand, say, “This is really hot, and as much as I hate to stop, we should cool things off until we have a condom/dental dam.”\\nTalking about safe sex doesn't have to be a turn-off. For example, try asking what kind of condom feels best or if they like flavored or textured varieties.\\nTry to be positive when you bring up safe sex. Mention that using protection benefits both of you instead of phrasing it like you need to protect yourself from them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Looking your best will help set you up for success. When you ask the person you're into about having sex, make sure you're clean and well-groomed.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,477 | How to Ask Someone out Online | 1. Break the ice with a friendly greeting.
Catch their interest and get a conversation started.
Try something more engaging than a simple "Hey!" or "What's up?" Take a look at their dating site profile and examine their likes, dislikes, and any other information they provide there. Then, tailor your greeting to something on their profile; for example, you could break the ice by asking about a hobby or compliment one of their pictures.
"Hey there! I see you're a painter. That's so awesome!!"
"Hi! Your profile pic is adorable. I'm curious what kind of puppy you have—they look darling! 😊"
"Hi there! I saw that you're a basketball fan. Me too! What's your fave team?"
2. Ask your crush questions.
Getting to know your crush helps you establish trust with them.
They're much more likely to say yes if they feel like they know you a bit—and this gives you a chance to woo them before sealing the deal. Ask open-ended questions requiring more than a yes or no answer; your exchanges will last longer, and your crush will see that you're genuinely interested in their lives.
"What are the most important things on your bucket list?"
"If you could have any superpower, no strings attached, what power would you choose?"
"What's something that everyone hates but you love? No judgment here; I'm curious! 😉"
3. Discuss common interests.
Let them get to know you too and find topics you can both talk about.
Use your crush's dating profile (and the questions you ask them) to discover mutual interests. This will give you more to talk about as you get to know one another. Once common interests are established, your crush will also feel more connected to you—and likely become open to the idea of a date.
"OMG, none of my other friends have read the Lords of the Rings books from cover to cover. I thought it was just me! 🤪 What'd you think of the movies by comparison?"
"It's so cool that you know how to play guitar. I play drums—I'd love to jam together sometime!"
"Ooh, a fellow D&D enthusiast! 😍 Got any cool stories from your home game to share?"
4. Exchange phone numbers.
Texting helps you deepen the relationship before meeting in person.
Drop a casual request once you've warmed up to one another over the dating site. If you feel it's still too early to ask for a date, but you've spent longer than expected on the chat or had several online conversations, a phone number is the safe next step to take to get closer to this person.
"I have to go back to work now, but I enjoyed talking to you. Do you have a phone number so that we can continue our chat later?"
"It's been really fun getting to know you! Would you be open to exchanging phone numbers? I'd love to move the conversation over to text. 😊"
"Hey, I'll be away from the computer today, but I'd really like to keep chatting. Feel free to text me at (555)-555-5555!"
5. Ask them out after a few messages.
Look for signs that they're interested after 5-10 messages.
Many people who use online dating apps score a first date after exchanging between 5 and 10 messages with the person they like. Avoid asking them out right away, but don't leave things hanging on the dating app (or on the text chain) for long either. Signs that your crush returns your feelings include:
They match the length of your messages. If you send a 3-sentence message and get a reply around the same length, it's a sign that they're engaged and interested in talking to you.
They're asking you lots of questions. Open-ended questions from your crush show that they want to know you just as much as you want to know them.
They tack emojis and exclamations into their texts. The more they emote, the more invested they likely are. Emojis are a great way to convey warmth and depth in messages, and exclamation points show enthusiasm.
Although this is the hardest part, think of your request as a step that will relieve the tension in the conversation. It will give both the chance to do something together where you can actually get to know each other for what you really are.
6. Keep your invitation casual.
Ask your crush out in a way that sounds light and fun.
Often, if you've been chatting casually on a dating app, it's better not to say the word "date" since that instantly puts pressure on the meeting. Instead, plan an entertaining date and phrase it as "meeting up," "hanging out," or just ask them if they want to do that activity with you.
"I feel like you and I have really clicked! Would you want to meet up for dinner and a movie on Saturday?"
"I really like talking to you. Why don't we continue our chat at the Mexican restaurant downtown next weekend?"
7. Work the date into your conversation.
Use the current topic to suggest a date idea.
Wait for a natural point in the conversation and suggest an activity based on that, whether you're talking about your mutual love of Italian food or your obsession with amusement parks. That way, you know they'll be interested in whatever date you propose, and it'll feel more natural than a sudden date invitation from out of the blue.
"You know, if you like matcha, I know this cafe with the BEST lattes. I'd love to take you there this weekend!"
"Speaking of this weekend, I'm free on Sunday, and I've been dying to show you this delicious brunch spot near me."
"I agree, Mamma Mia was such a fun movie! Actually, I think the drive-in is playing it one night next week. Wanna go together?"
8. Use their profile to think of a date idea.
If the date aligns with their interests, your crush will likely say yes.
Use the research you've done before the conversation to suggest an activity you might enjoy doing together. For example, if you both like foreign films, find one playing next to you and invite them. Present your suggestion as a way to continue the chat elsewhere.
"Since you're such a Disney fan, why don't we watch a few movies this weekend? You can show me your favorites! 😊"
"I saw you like roller-skating. Would you wanna go to the rink with me on Friday?"
"You love painting, right? Let's check out the art museum next week!"
9. Turn the date into a learning experience.
Ask your crush to teach you something new and exciting.
They'll be flattered if you express interest in learning more about one of their passions! Conversely, you could offer to give them a lesson if they seem curious about one of your hobbies. For example, you could invite them over for a baking tutorial or ask them to show you how to knit. It's a great way to bond with one another.
"I've never made cheesecake, even though I can't get enough of it. Think you could show me how? Plus, that means we both get cheesecake! 😋"
"Ooh, ice skating seems fun, but I don't know where to start. Wanna show me the ropes on the rink? 😄"
Alternatively, suggest doing something brand new for both of you. Invite them to do something they've expressed interest in but never tried before.
10. Give them a few date activities to choose from.
Appeal to your crush by letting them choose the activity they'd enjoy.
When you provide several ideas to choose from, your crush will have more incentive to say "yes," since they're in control and get to tailor the date to their interests. Based on your messaging exchanges, think of a couple of choices you think they'd like and ask them which one they want to do.
"So, I thought we could hit up that mini-golf place you mentioned—or maybe check out the aquarium. Would you be interested in either of those? 😄"
"Hmm. Which do you like better: dinner or brunch? Because I'd love to take you out for one of those this weekend! 😉"
"I really like talking to you! Would you want to continue the conversation over coffee tomorrow, or maybe take a walk in the park downtown?"
11. Invite them out with a group.
Hanging out with friends is less intimidating than one-on-one.
Assuming you and your crush haven't met in person yet, a group hang puts less pressure on you while making them more comfortable with meeting a stranger for the first time. Suggest that they come and meet you at a bar or some other fun spot where a group can have some fun and let the relationship grow from there.
"Would you be interested in bowling with me and some friends this Friday? It'll be a blast!"
"I'd love to meet up in person, and I'm going to the zoo with some friends this weekend. Wanna come too?"
"You like DC heroes, right? Some friends are going to see Wonder Woman tomorrow, and I'd love it if you came too!"
12. Make direct and specific plans for your date.
Give your crush a concrete activity, time, and place.
This makes the idea of a date seem more real for your crush and not just a vague suggestion. Plus, having specific date ideas in mind right when you ask will prove how interested you are; it shows you've put genuine thought into spending more time with them. Don't worry if they're not free on the day you suggest—just smoothly offer an alternative for them.
"You, me, and that cool new arcade bar that just opened. Would you wanna check it out with me on Saturday night?"
"I've been dying to see the next Thor movie. Want to go see it on opening night with me? I think it'll be so fun!"
Tips
Be patient instead of repeatedly messaging your crush for a response. If you're polite, friendly, and engaging, you'll get a positive answer! In the meantime, it's important to give your crush space to respond in their own time.[10]
X
Research source
A delay might not mean "no," especially when jobs and school can be so busy.
If the answer is "no," remember to accept it gracefully rather than arguing. Your crush will be happy that you respected their wishes, and you might even score a date later on after you've gotten to know one another better.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Break the ice with a friendly greeting.\\nCatch their interest and get a conversation started.\\nTry something more engaging than a simple \\\"Hey!\\\" or \\\"What's up?\\\" Take a look at their dating site profile and examine their likes, dislikes, and any other information they provide there. Then, tailor your greeting to something on their profile; for example, you could break the ice by asking about a hobby or compliment one of their pictures.\\n\\\"Hey there! I see you're a painter. That's so awesome!!\\\"\\n\\\"Hi! Your profile pic is adorable. I'm curious what kind of puppy you have—they look darling! 😊\\\"\\n\\\"Hi there! I saw that you're a basketball fan. Me too! What's your fave team?\\\"\\n2. Ask your crush questions.\\nGetting to know your crush helps you establish trust with them.\\nThey're much more likely to say yes if they feel like they know you a bit—and this gives you a chance to woo them before sealing the deal. Ask open-ended questions requiring more than a yes or no answer; your exchanges will last longer, and your crush will see that you're genuinely interested in their lives.\\n\\\"What are the most important things on your bucket list?\\\"\\n\\\"If you could have any superpower, no strings attached, what power would you choose?\\\"\\n\\\"What's something that everyone hates but you love? No judgment here; I'm curious! 😉\\\"\\n3. Discuss common interests.\\nLet them get to know you too and find topics you can both talk about.\\nUse your crush's dating profile (and the questions you ask them) to discover mutual interests. This will give you more to talk about as you get to know one another. Once common interests are established, your crush will also feel more connected to you—and likely become open to the idea of a date.\\n\\\"OMG, none of my other friends have read the Lords of the Rings books from cover to cover. I thought it was just me! 🤪 What'd you think of the movies by comparison?\\\"\\n\\\"It's so cool that you know how to play guitar. I play drums—I'd love to jam together sometime!\\\"\\n\\\"Ooh, a fellow D&D enthusiast! 😍 Got any cool stories from your home game to share?\\\"\\n4. Exchange phone numbers.\\nTexting helps you deepen the relationship before meeting in person.\\nDrop a casual request once you've warmed up to one another over the dating site. If you feel it's still too early to ask for a date, but you've spent longer than expected on the chat or had several online conversations, a phone number is the safe next step to take to get closer to this person.\\n\\\"I have to go back to work now, but I enjoyed talking to you. Do you have a phone number so that we can continue our chat later?\\\"\\n\\\"It's been really fun getting to know you! Would you be open to exchanging phone numbers? I'd love to move the conversation over to text. 😊\\\"\\n\\\"Hey, I'll be away from the computer today, but I'd really like to keep chatting. Feel free to text me at (555)-555-5555!\\\"\\n5. Ask them out after a few messages.\\nLook for signs that they're interested after 5-10 messages.\\nMany people who use online dating apps score a first date after exchanging between 5 and 10 messages with the person they like. Avoid asking them out right away, but don't leave things hanging on the dating app (or on the text chain) for long either. Signs that your crush returns your feelings include:\\nThey match the length of your messages. If you send a 3-sentence message and get a reply around the same length, it's a sign that they're engaged and interested in talking to you.\\nThey're asking you lots of questions. Open-ended questions from your crush show that they want to know you just as much as you want to know them.\\nThey tack emojis and exclamations into their texts. The more they emote, the more invested they likely are. Emojis are a great way to convey warmth and depth in messages, and exclamation points show enthusiasm.\\nAlthough this is the hardest part, think of your request as a step that will relieve the tension in the conversation. It will give both the chance to do something together where you can actually get to know each other for what you really are.\\n6. Keep your invitation casual.\\nAsk your crush out in a way that sounds light and fun.\\nOften, if you've been chatting casually on a dating app, it's better not to say the word \\\"date\\\" since that instantly puts pressure on the meeting. Instead, plan an entertaining date and phrase it as \\\"meeting up,\\\" \\\"hanging out,\\\" or just ask them if they want to do that activity with you.\\n\\\"I feel like you and I have really clicked! Would you want to meet up for dinner and a movie on Saturday?\\\"\\n\\\"I really like talking to you. Why don't we continue our chat at the Mexican restaurant downtown next weekend?\\\"\\n7. Work the date into your conversation.\\nUse the current topic to suggest a date idea.\\nWait for a natural point in the conversation and suggest an activity based on that, whether you're talking about your mutual love of Italian food or your obsession with amusement parks. That way, you know they'll be interested in whatever date you propose, and it'll feel more natural than a sudden date invitation from out of the blue.\\n\\\"You know, if you like matcha, I know this cafe with the BEST lattes. I'd love to take you there this weekend!\\\"\\n\\\"Speaking of this weekend, I'm free on Sunday, and I've been dying to show you this delicious brunch spot near me.\\\"\\n\\\"I agree, Mamma Mia was such a fun movie! Actually, I think the drive-in is playing it one night next week. Wanna go together?\\\"\\n8. Use their profile to think of a date idea.\\nIf the date aligns with their interests, your crush will likely say yes.\\nUse the research you've done before the conversation to suggest an activity you might enjoy doing together. For example, if you both like foreign films, find one playing next to you and invite them. Present your suggestion as a way to continue the chat elsewhere.\\n\\\"Since you're such a Disney fan, why don't we watch a few movies this weekend? You can show me your favorites! 😊\\\"\\n\\\"I saw you like roller-skating. Would you wanna go to the rink with me on Friday?\\\"\\n\\\"You love painting, right? Let's check out the art museum next week!\\\"\\n9. Turn the date into a learning experience.\\nAsk your crush to teach you something new and exciting.\\nThey'll be flattered if you express interest in learning more about one of their passions! Conversely, you could offer to give them a lesson if they seem curious about one of your hobbies. For example, you could invite them over for a baking tutorial or ask them to show you how to knit. It's a great way to bond with one another.\\n\\\"I've never made cheesecake, even though I can't get enough of it. Think you could show me how? Plus, that means we both get cheesecake! 😋\\\"\\n\\\"Ooh, ice skating seems fun, but I don't know where to start. Wanna show me the ropes on the rink? 😄\\\"\\nAlternatively, suggest doing something brand new for both of you. Invite them to do something they've expressed interest in but never tried before.\\n10. Give them a few date activities to choose from.\\nAppeal to your crush by letting them choose the activity they'd enjoy.\\nWhen you provide several ideas to choose from, your crush will have more incentive to say \\\"yes,\\\" since they're in control and get to tailor the date to their interests. Based on your messaging exchanges, think of a couple of choices you think they'd like and ask them which one they want to do.\\n\\\"So, I thought we could hit up that mini-golf place you mentioned—or maybe check out the aquarium. Would you be interested in either of those? 😄\\\"\\n\\\"Hmm. Which do you like better: dinner or brunch? Because I'd love to take you out for one of those this weekend! 😉\\\"\\n\\\"I really like talking to you! Would you want to continue the conversation over coffee tomorrow, or maybe take a walk in the park downtown?\\\"\\n11. Invite them out with a group.\\nHanging out with friends is less intimidating than one-on-one.\\nAssuming you and your crush haven't met in person yet, a group hang puts less pressure on you while making them more comfortable with meeting a stranger for the first time. Suggest that they come and meet you at a bar or some other fun spot where a group can have some fun and let the relationship grow from there.\\n\\\"Would you be interested in bowling with me and some friends this Friday? It'll be a blast!\\\"\\n\\\"I'd love to meet up in person, and I'm going to the zoo with some friends this weekend. Wanna come too?\\\"\\n\\\"You like DC heroes, right? Some friends are going to see Wonder Woman tomorrow, and I'd love it if you came too!\\\"\\n12. Make direct and specific plans for your date.\\nGive your crush a concrete activity, time, and place.\\nThis makes the idea of a date seem more real for your crush and not just a vague suggestion. Plus, having specific date ideas in mind right when you ask will prove how interested you are; it shows you've put genuine thought into spending more time with them. Don't worry if they're not free on the day you suggest—just smoothly offer an alternative for them.\\n\\\"You, me, and that cool new arcade bar that just opened. Would you wanna check it out with me on Saturday night?\\\"\\n\\\"I've been dying to see the next Thor movie. Want to go see it on opening night with me? I think it'll be so fun!\\\"\\nTips\\nBe patient instead of repeatedly messaging your crush for a response. If you're polite, friendly, and engaging, you'll get a positive answer! In the meantime, it's important to give your crush space to respond in their own time.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n A delay might not mean \\\"no,\\\" especially when jobs and school can be so busy.\\nIf the answer is \\\"no,\\\" remember to accept it gracefully rather than arguing. Your crush will be happy that you respected their wishes, and you might even score a date later on after you've gotten to know one another better.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Online dating apps are a great way to chat with cool people, but how can you finally ask someone out and score a date? Luckily, all it takes is some patience, a few friendly messages, and a dash of charm. Establish a rapport with your crush through messages, and then ask them out on an intriguing date they can't resist! Read on, and we'll show you the best step-by-step way to ask someone out online.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break the ice with a friendly greeting.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Catch their interest and get a conversation started.\", \"描述\": \"Try something more engaging than a simple \\\"Hey!\\\" or \\\"What's up?\\\" Take a look at their dating site profile and examine their likes, dislikes, and any other information they provide there. Then, tailor your greeting to something on their profile; for example, you could break the ice by asking about a hobby or compliment one of their pictures.\\n\\\"Hey there! I see you're a painter. That's so awesome!!\\\"\\n\\\"Hi! Your profile pic is adorable. I'm curious what kind of puppy you have—they look darling! 😊\\\"\\n\\\"Hi there! I saw that you're a basketball fan. Me too! What's your fave team?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask your crush questions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to know your crush helps you establish trust with them.\", \"描述\": \"They're much more likely to say yes if they feel like they know you a bit—and this gives you a chance to woo them before sealing the deal. Ask open-ended questions requiring more than a yes or no answer; your exchanges will last longer, and your crush will see that you're genuinely interested in their lives.\\n\\\"What are the most important things on your bucket list?\\\"\\n\\\"If you could have any superpower, no strings attached, what power would you choose?\\\"\\n\\\"What's something that everyone hates but you love? No judgment here; I'm curious! 😉\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Discuss common interests.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them get to know you too and find topics you can both talk about.\", \"描述\": \"Use your crush's dating profile (and the questions you ask them) to discover mutual interests. This will give you more to talk about as you get to know one another. Once common interests are established, your crush will also feel more connected to you—and likely become open to the idea of a date.\\n\\\"OMG, none of my other friends have read the Lords of the Rings books from cover to cover. I thought it was just me! 🤪 What'd you think of the movies by comparison?\\\"\\n\\\"It's so cool that you know how to play guitar. I play drums—I'd love to jam together sometime!\\\"\\n\\\"Ooh, a fellow D&D enthusiast! 😍 Got any cool stories from your home game to share?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Exchange phone numbers.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Texting helps you deepen the relationship before meeting in person.\", \"描述\": \"Drop a casual request once you've warmed up to one another over the dating site. If you feel it's still too early to ask for a date, but you've spent longer than expected on the chat or had several online conversations, a phone number is the safe next step to take to get closer to this person.\\n\\\"I have to go back to work now, but I enjoyed talking to you. Do you have a phone number so that we can continue our chat later?\\\"\\n\\\"It's been really fun getting to know you! Would you be open to exchanging phone numbers? I'd love to move the conversation over to text. 😊\\\"\\n\\\"Hey, I'll be away from the computer today, but I'd really like to keep chatting. Feel free to text me at (555)-555-5555!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask them out after a few messages.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for signs that they're interested after 5-10 messages.\", \"描述\": \"Many people who use online dating apps score a first date after exchanging between 5 and 10 messages with the person they like. Avoid asking them out right away, but don't leave things hanging on the dating app (or on the text chain) for long either. Signs that your crush returns your feelings include:\\nThey match the length of your messages. If you send a 3-sentence message and get a reply around the same length, it's a sign that they're engaged and interested in talking to you.\\nThey're asking you lots of questions. Open-ended questions from your crush show that they want to know you just as much as you want to know them.\\nThey tack emojis and exclamations into their texts. The more they emote, the more invested they likely are. Emojis are a great way to convey warmth and depth in messages, and exclamation points show enthusiasm.\\nAlthough this is the hardest part, think of your request as a step that will relieve the tension in the conversation. It will give both the chance to do something together where you can actually get to know each other for what you really are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your invitation casual.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your crush out in a way that sounds light and fun.\", \"描述\": \"Often, if you've been chatting casually on a dating app, it's better not to say the word \\\"date\\\" since that instantly puts pressure on the meeting. Instead, plan an entertaining date and phrase it as \\\"meeting up,\\\" \\\"hanging out,\\\" or just ask them if they want to do that activity with you.\\n\\\"I feel like you and I have really clicked! Would you want to meet up for dinner and a movie on Saturday?\\\"\\n\\\"I really like talking to you. Why don't we continue our chat at the Mexican restaurant downtown next weekend?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Work the date into your conversation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use the current topic to suggest a date idea.\", \"描述\": \"Wait for a natural point in the conversation and suggest an activity based on that, whether you're talking about your mutual love of Italian food or your obsession with amusement parks. That way, you know they'll be interested in whatever date you propose, and it'll feel more natural than a sudden date invitation from out of the blue.\\n\\\"You know, if you like matcha, I know this cafe with the BEST lattes. I'd love to take you there this weekend!\\\"\\n\\\"Speaking of this weekend, I'm free on Sunday, and I've been dying to show you this delicious brunch spot near me.\\\"\\n\\\"I agree, Mamma Mia was such a fun movie! Actually, I think the drive-in is playing it one night next week. Wanna go together?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use their profile to think of a date idea.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If the date aligns with their interests, your crush will likely say yes.\", \"描述\": \"Use the research you've done before the conversation to suggest an activity you might enjoy doing together. For example, if you both like foreign films, find one playing next to you and invite them. Present your suggestion as a way to continue the chat elsewhere.\\n\\\"Since you're such a Disney fan, why don't we watch a few movies this weekend? You can show me your favorites! 😊\\\"\\n\\\"I saw you like roller-skating. Would you wanna go to the rink with me on Friday?\\\"\\n\\\"You love painting, right? Let's check out the art museum next week!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Turn the date into a learning experience.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your crush to teach you something new and exciting.\", \"描述\": \"They'll be flattered if you express interest in learning more about one of their passions! Conversely, you could offer to give them a lesson if they seem curious about one of your hobbies. For example, you could invite them over for a baking tutorial or ask them to show you how to knit. It's a great way to bond with one another.\\n\\\"I've never made cheesecake, even though I can't get enough of it. Think you could show me how? Plus, that means we both get cheesecake! 😋\\\"\\n\\\"Ooh, ice skating seems fun, but I don't know where to start. Wanna show me the ropes on the rink? 😄\\\"\\nAlternatively, suggest doing something brand new for both of you. Invite them to do something they've expressed interest in but never tried before.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Give them a few date activities to choose from.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appeal to your crush by letting them choose the activity they'd enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"When you provide several ideas to choose from, your crush will have more incentive to say \\\"yes,\\\" since they're in control and get to tailor the date to their interests. Based on your messaging exchanges, think of a couple of choices you think they'd like and ask them which one they want to do.\\n\\\"So, I thought we could hit up that mini-golf place you mentioned—or maybe check out the aquarium. Would you be interested in either of those? 😄\\\"\\n\\\"Hmm. Which do you like better: dinner or brunch? Because I'd love to take you out for one of those this weekend! 😉\\\"\\n\\\"I really like talking to you! Would you want to continue the conversation over coffee tomorrow, or maybe take a walk in the park downtown?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Invite them out with a group.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hanging out with friends is less intimidating than one-on-one.\", \"描述\": \"Assuming you and your crush haven't met in person yet, a group hang puts less pressure on you while making them more comfortable with meeting a stranger for the first time. Suggest that they come and meet you at a bar or some other fun spot where a group can have some fun and let the relationship grow from there.\\n\\\"Would you be interested in bowling with me and some friends this Friday? It'll be a blast!\\\"\\n\\\"I'd love to meet up in person, and I'm going to the zoo with some friends this weekend. Wanna come too?\\\"\\n\\\"You like DC heroes, right? Some friends are going to see Wonder Woman tomorrow, and I'd love it if you came too!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Make direct and specific plans for your date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your crush a concrete activity, time, and place.\", \"描述\": \"This makes the idea of a date seem more real for your crush and not just a vague suggestion. Plus, having specific date ideas in mind right when you ask will prove how interested you are; it shows you've put genuine thought into spending more time with them. Don't worry if they're not free on the day you suggest—just smoothly offer an alternative for them.\\n\\\"You, me, and that cool new arcade bar that just opened. Would you wanna check it out with me on Saturday night?\\\"\\n\\\"I've been dying to see the next Thor movie. Want to go see it on opening night with me? I think it'll be so fun!\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be patient instead of repeatedly messaging your crush for a response. If you're polite, friendly, and engaging, you'll get a positive answer! In the meantime, it's important to give your crush space to respond in their own time.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n A delay might not mean \\\"no,\\\" especially when jobs and school can be so busy.\\n\", \"If the answer is \\\"no,\\\" remember to accept it gracefully rather than arguing. Your crush will be happy that you respected their wishes, and you might even score a date later on after you've gotten to know one another better.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,478 | How to Ask Someone out if They've Already Rejected You | 1. Learning Where You Stand
1-1. Figure out why they rejected you.
This can be difficult because you don't want to seem desperate or overly hurt, but if your crush didn't give you a good answer as to why they didn't want to go out with you, it could be good to meet up with them and ask a few questions to gain some insight as to what they are thinking.
If they very bluntly stated why they didn't want to go out with you, like "I'm not interested in you for this reason" or "I'm going through something difficult and don't need the stress of dating," then you don't want to irritate them by asking for more explanation.
People are often caught off-guard when asked out, so a lot of times they come up with an answer on the spot that may not be the complete truth. Calmly approach your crush and ask them if they wouldn't mind grabbing coffee (not as a date) because you wanted to talk through some things with them. Then, when you are together, ask if there was a specific reason they didn't want to go out with you or if your approach was what turned them off. Do not then proceed to ask them out again, but thank them for giving you some insight and be understanding and be patient.
1-2. Think over your current relationship.
Sometimes it's the essence of the relationship that is what caused the rejection. Are you asking out your best friend and they are worried that it will ruin the relationship? Have there been conflicts recently that have left your crush confused or irritated with you? Thinking through your relationship can be helpful to know if it was part of the reason you were rejected.
If you asked out someone you met once at a party or on a night out, this doesn't necessarily apply to you, but if you asked out a good friend it's possible that they don't want to ruin your relationship or there's something else going on in their life that's keeping them from jumping into something new. It's also possible that at this point they just aren't attracted to you, which in that case it just takes time and patience before you can ask them out again.
1-3. Examine your approach.
Did you just ask someone out that you didn't know in a very demeaning manner, were you confident or really nervous in your approach, or did you catch your friend off guard and they didn't know how to respond? If you have asked other people out, think about the approaches that were successful and those that weren't and think about how you came across to your crush.
1-4. Respect their answer.
If you asked someone out and were rejected, don't insist on taking them on a date. It can seem desperate and be incredibly annoying to your crush if you persist when they've already told you no. Once you have figured out why they rejected you, respect their answer and don't ask them out again right away.
1-5. Be patient.
As previously stated, you want to respect the person you asked out by giving them time. Sometimes people need to process and think over things, and over time they may realize that they are interested in you. Giving your crush space to think over their feelings towards you could lead to a much more positive answer later on.
2. Pursuing Your Crush Again
2-1. Act like you were not fazed.
One of the biggest ways to show you were hurt by rejection is by acting weird or awkward around your crush or stepping completely out of their life. Now, you don't want to over-assert yourself into their life, but it's helpful to act casual around them and not show any pain. If you step out of their life completely and become distant, you'll lose an opportunity to ask them out later on.
In some cases, people do need space, and after they learn that you are interested in them, they feel awkward and don't want to be around you all the time. Feel out the situation to see if it's best if you step back for a while or if you should be as present as you were before. It is important, though, that you don't show your crush you were incredibly hurt or that the rejection made you insecure. Most people don't find insecurity attractive, so continue to act confident.
2-2. Become friendly with your crush again.
After you have given your crush some time to think over things, it's time to get back into their life. You may have decided to act like things are normal or maybe you gave them some space, but before you plan to ask them out again, you want to develop a relationship with them.
If you weren't friends before, then becoming friends may be the key to gaining a date with your crush. It's possible that they didn't feel comfortable going out with someone they didn't know, so helping them get to know you could better your chances when you ask them out again.
If you were friends before, you don't want to just go right back to where you were before in the friend zone. That may lead your crush to think that you have accepted there is no future between the two of you, and your crush may stop considering the possibility that you still like them. It's best to develop a friendship again but to show that you are interested in other things too, then they won't feel awkward around you.
2-3. Clean yourself up.
This isn't a shoo-in, but it always helps someone say yes to a date if they find you attractive. Consider going to a gym or trying out a different hairstyle to pique your crush's interest. It's also important that you have proper hygiene -- people don't usually want to go out with someone who doesn't take care of their body!
2-4. Flirt with them and with others.
It could be helpful to occasionally flirt with your crush, to show them that you are playfully considering them. You don't want to only flirt with them or flirt with them frequently, though. Make it clear that your options are open and that you are considering other people. Sometimes all it takes is jealousy to make your crush realize they are interested in you.
Don't turn all your attention on someone else if you want your crush to know you are still interested in them. This may lead them to feel confused or believe that you have moved on completely.
2-5. Pay attention to their behavior around you.
Before you ask them out again, you'll want to see if anything has changed in the way they are interacting with you. If they are acting somewhat playful or are suddenly interested in your other romantic interests, it could be a sign that they are beginning to see you as more than a friend.
2-6. Use a different approach.
Now that you've had time to better your relationship and pique your crush's interest, you're probably ready to ask them out. However, it could be good to change up your approach from the last time to better your chances. Be confident and ask them in the way you think would receive the best answer.
Be cool when you ask your crush out again -- don't seem desperate or like all you have been thinking about is asking them out again. Play it up like you'd love to treat them to lunch or coffee (or whatever it is you want to do) and make it seem somewhat casual. Or maybe do something fun like going to a concert, something that could also be done with a friend.Your crush may be more willing to go on a date like this if they feel you aren't trying to jump into something serious.
Consider texting your crush to take some of the pressure off an in-person ask and give them time to think.
If you did all this and were turned down again, it unfortunately may be a sign that you need to move on. Someone may reject you once without really thinking about it, but if they reject you a second time it means they had some time to think about it and still aren't interested. Respect their decision and understand that it obviously wasn't meant to be.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learning Where You Stand\\n1-1. Figure out why they rejected you.\\nThis can be difficult because you don't want to seem desperate or overly hurt, but if your crush didn't give you a good answer as to why they didn't want to go out with you, it could be good to meet up with them and ask a few questions to gain some insight as to what they are thinking.\\nIf they very bluntly stated why they didn't want to go out with you, like \\\"I'm not interested in you for this reason\\\" or \\\"I'm going through something difficult and don't need the stress of dating,\\\" then you don't want to irritate them by asking for more explanation.\\nPeople are often caught off-guard when asked out, so a lot of times they come up with an answer on the spot that may not be the complete truth. Calmly approach your crush and ask them if they wouldn't mind grabbing coffee (not as a date) because you wanted to talk through some things with them. Then, when you are together, ask if there was a specific reason they didn't want to go out with you or if your approach was what turned them off. Do not then proceed to ask them out again, but thank them for giving you some insight and be understanding and be patient.\\n1-2. Think over your current relationship.\\nSometimes it's the essence of the relationship that is what caused the rejection. Are you asking out your best friend and they are worried that it will ruin the relationship? Have there been conflicts recently that have left your crush confused or irritated with you? Thinking through your relationship can be helpful to know if it was part of the reason you were rejected. \\nIf you asked out someone you met once at a party or on a night out, this doesn't necessarily apply to you, but if you asked out a good friend it's possible that they don't want to ruin your relationship or there's something else going on in their life that's keeping them from jumping into something new. It's also possible that at this point they just aren't attracted to you, which in that case it just takes time and patience before you can ask them out again.\\n1-3. Examine your approach.\\nDid you just ask someone out that you didn't know in a very demeaning manner, were you confident or really nervous in your approach, or did you catch your friend off guard and they didn't know how to respond? If you have asked other people out, think about the approaches that were successful and those that weren't and think about how you came across to your crush.\\n1-4. Respect their answer.\\nIf you asked someone out and were rejected, don't insist on taking them on a date. It can seem desperate and be incredibly annoying to your crush if you persist when they've already told you no. Once you have figured out why they rejected you, respect their answer and don't ask them out again right away.\\n1-5. Be patient.\\nAs previously stated, you want to respect the person you asked out by giving them time. Sometimes people need to process and think over things, and over time they may realize that they are interested in you. Giving your crush space to think over their feelings towards you could lead to a much more positive answer later on.\\n2. Pursuing Your Crush Again\\n2-1. Act like you were not fazed.\\nOne of the biggest ways to show you were hurt by rejection is by acting weird or awkward around your crush or stepping completely out of their life. Now, you don't want to over-assert yourself into their life, but it's helpful to act casual around them and not show any pain. If you step out of their life completely and become distant, you'll lose an opportunity to ask them out later on.\\nIn some cases, people do need space, and after they learn that you are interested in them, they feel awkward and don't want to be around you all the time. Feel out the situation to see if it's best if you step back for a while or if you should be as present as you were before. It is important, though, that you don't show your crush you were incredibly hurt or that the rejection made you insecure. Most people don't find insecurity attractive, so continue to act confident.\\n2-2. Become friendly with your crush again.\\nAfter you have given your crush some time to think over things, it's time to get back into their life. You may have decided to act like things are normal or maybe you gave them some space, but before you plan to ask them out again, you want to develop a relationship with them.\\nIf you weren't friends before, then becoming friends may be the key to gaining a date with your crush. It's possible that they didn't feel comfortable going out with someone they didn't know, so helping them get to know you could better your chances when you ask them out again.\\nIf you were friends before, you don't want to just go right back to where you were before in the friend zone. That may lead your crush to think that you have accepted there is no future between the two of you, and your crush may stop considering the possibility that you still like them. It's best to develop a friendship again but to show that you are interested in other things too, then they won't feel awkward around you.\\n2-3. Clean yourself up.\\nThis isn't a shoo-in, but it always helps someone say yes to a date if they find you attractive. Consider going to a gym or trying out a different hairstyle to pique your crush's interest. It's also important that you have proper hygiene -- people don't usually want to go out with someone who doesn't take care of their body!\\n2-4. Flirt with them and with others.\\nIt could be helpful to occasionally flirt with your crush, to show them that you are playfully considering them. You don't want to only flirt with them or flirt with them frequently, though. Make it clear that your options are open and that you are considering other people. Sometimes all it takes is jealousy to make your crush realize they are interested in you. \\nDon't turn all your attention on someone else if you want your crush to know you are still interested in them. This may lead them to feel confused or believe that you have moved on completely.\\n2-5. Pay attention to their behavior around you.\\nBefore you ask them out again, you'll want to see if anything has changed in the way they are interacting with you. If they are acting somewhat playful or are suddenly interested in your other romantic interests, it could be a sign that they are beginning to see you as more than a friend.\\n2-6. Use a different approach.\\nNow that you've had time to better your relationship and pique your crush's interest, you're probably ready to ask them out. However, it could be good to change up your approach from the last time to better your chances. Be confident and ask them in the way you think would receive the best answer.\\nBe cool when you ask your crush out again -- don't seem desperate or like all you have been thinking about is asking them out again. Play it up like you'd love to treat them to lunch or coffee (or whatever it is you want to do) and make it seem somewhat casual. Or maybe do something fun like going to a concert, something that could also be done with a friend.Your crush may be more willing to go on a date like this if they feel you aren't trying to jump into something serious.\\nConsider texting your crush to take some of the pressure off an in-person ask and give them time to think.\\nIf you did all this and were turned down again, it unfortunately may be a sign that you need to move on. Someone may reject you once without really thinking about it, but if they reject you a second time it means they had some time to think about it and still aren't interested. Respect their decision and understand that it obviously wasn't meant to be.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you really like someone but were rejected by them, it can be discouraging to continue pursuing the relationship. Sometimes, though, it just takes time and familiarity and your crush may start to be interested in you too. Don't just give up right away–give it some time and then work up the courage to ask out that special someone for a second time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning Where You Stand\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out why they rejected you.\", \"描述\": \"This can be difficult because you don't want to seem desperate or overly hurt, but if your crush didn't give you a good answer as to why they didn't want to go out with you, it could be good to meet up with them and ask a few questions to gain some insight as to what they are thinking.\\nIf they very bluntly stated why they didn't want to go out with you, like \\\"I'm not interested in you for this reason\\\" or \\\"I'm going through something difficult and don't need the stress of dating,\\\" then you don't want to irritate them by asking for more explanation.\\nPeople are often caught off-guard when asked out, so a lot of times they come up with an answer on the spot that may not be the complete truth. Calmly approach your crush and ask them if they wouldn't mind grabbing coffee (not as a date) because you wanted to talk through some things with them. Then, when you are together, ask if there was a specific reason they didn't want to go out with you or if your approach was what turned them off. Do not then proceed to ask them out again, but thank them for giving you some insight and be understanding and be patient.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think over your current relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it's the essence of the relationship that is what caused the rejection. Are you asking out your best friend and they are worried that it will ruin the relationship? Have there been conflicts recently that have left your crush confused or irritated with you? Thinking through your relationship can be helpful to know if it was part of the reason you were rejected. \\nIf you asked out someone you met once at a party or on a night out, this doesn't necessarily apply to you, but if you asked out a good friend it's possible that they don't want to ruin your relationship or there's something else going on in their life that's keeping them from jumping into something new. It's also possible that at this point they just aren't attracted to you, which in that case it just takes time and patience before you can ask them out again.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Examine your approach.\", \"描述\": \"Did you just ask someone out that you didn't know in a very demeaning manner, were you confident or really nervous in your approach, or did you catch your friend off guard and they didn't know how to respond? If you have asked other people out, think about the approaches that were successful and those that weren't and think about how you came across to your crush.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect their answer.\", \"描述\": \"If you asked someone out and were rejected, don't insist on taking them on a date. It can seem desperate and be incredibly annoying to your crush if you persist when they've already told you no. Once you have figured out why they rejected you, respect their answer and don't ask them out again right away.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"As previously stated, you want to respect the person you asked out by giving them time. Sometimes people need to process and think over things, and over time they may realize that they are interested in you. Giving your crush space to think over their feelings towards you could lead to a much more positive answer later on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pursuing Your Crush Again\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act like you were not fazed.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest ways to show you were hurt by rejection is by acting weird or awkward around your crush or stepping completely out of their life. Now, you don't want to over-assert yourself into their life, but it's helpful to act casual around them and not show any pain. If you step out of their life completely and become distant, you'll lose an opportunity to ask them out later on.\\nIn some cases, people do need space, and after they learn that you are interested in them, they feel awkward and don't want to be around you all the time. Feel out the situation to see if it's best if you step back for a while or if you should be as present as you were before. It is important, though, that you don't show your crush you were incredibly hurt or that the rejection made you insecure. Most people don't find insecurity attractive, so continue to act confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become friendly with your crush again.\", \"描述\": \"After you have given your crush some time to think over things, it's time to get back into their life. You may have decided to act like things are normal or maybe you gave them some space, but before you plan to ask them out again, you want to develop a relationship with them.\\nIf you weren't friends before, then becoming friends may be the key to gaining a date with your crush. It's possible that they didn't feel comfortable going out with someone they didn't know, so helping them get to know you could better your chances when you ask them out again.\\nIf you were friends before, you don't want to just go right back to where you were before in the friend zone. That may lead your crush to think that you have accepted there is no future between the two of you, and your crush may stop considering the possibility that you still like them. It's best to develop a friendship again but to show that you are interested in other things too, then they won't feel awkward around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clean yourself up.\", \"描述\": \"This isn't a shoo-in, but it always helps someone say yes to a date if they find you attractive. Consider going to a gym or trying out a different hairstyle to pique your crush's interest. It's also important that you have proper hygiene -- people don't usually want to go out with someone who doesn't take care of their body!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flirt with them and with others.\", \"描述\": \"It could be helpful to occasionally flirt with your crush, to show them that you are playfully considering them. You don't want to only flirt with them or flirt with them frequently, though. Make it clear that your options are open and that you are considering other people. Sometimes all it takes is jealousy to make your crush realize they are interested in you. \\nDon't turn all your attention on someone else if you want your crush to know you are still interested in them. This may lead them to feel confused or believe that you have moved on completely.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to their behavior around you.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask them out again, you'll want to see if anything has changed in the way they are interacting with you. If they are acting somewhat playful or are suddenly interested in your other romantic interests, it could be a sign that they are beginning to see you as more than a friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use a different approach.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you've had time to better your relationship and pique your crush's interest, you're probably ready to ask them out. However, it could be good to change up your approach from the last time to better your chances. Be confident and ask them in the way you think would receive the best answer.\\nBe cool when you ask your crush out again -- don't seem desperate or like all you have been thinking about is asking them out again. Play it up like you'd love to treat them to lunch or coffee (or whatever it is you want to do) and make it seem somewhat casual. Or maybe do something fun like going to a concert, something that could also be done with a friend.Your crush may be more willing to go on a date like this if they feel you aren't trying to jump into something serious.\\nConsider texting your crush to take some of the pressure off an in-person ask and give them time to think.\\nIf you did all this and were turned down again, it unfortunately may be a sign that you need to move on. Someone may reject you once without really thinking about it, but if they reject you a second time it means they had some time to think about it and still aren't interested. Respect their decision and understand that it obviously wasn't meant to be.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,479 | How to Ask Someone out if You're Shy | 1. Preparing Yourself
1-1. Look your best.
Focus on the three key things that make a difference: hygiene and style, plus a smile. Be clean, dress well, wear comfortable and well maintained clothes, and always remember to smile. Smiling can automatically make you more relatable and radiant.
Make sure to brush your teeth or use mouthwash. Bad breath is a real turnoff.
1-2. Practice in the mirror.
There is nothing quite so helpful as rehearsal; preparing your mind helps you to feel familiar with the situation. And when you have a speech prepared, it will go a lot better. If you don't practice you may blurt out: 'ummm er wanna...go out...with, umm...let's date' or something silly like that. Keep practicing until it feels natural, or at least okay. Practice conversation starters such as:
”Hey, how is your day going?”
"Hey, you're Greg’s friend aren't you?”
“Do you want to hang out sometime?"
”Would you like to go to dinner or grab a coffee sometime?”
1-3. Be confident.
Confidence is important in any human interaction, but especially when asking someone out. Having confidence can help stop any stress or nervousness that might come up. Breathe deeply and focus on yourself overcoming your shyness.
2. Attracting Attention
2-1. Check out the situation.
Look for a time to ask the special someone out when it is not too noisy or hectic (Crossing a busy street, standing in line at a crowded restaurant). Also don’t be somewhere quiet enough to get other people's attention and make the situation uncomfortable.
2-2. Wait until the person is alone.
You may not want to ask anyone out when they are with friends. They may get shy and it could turn into an uncomfortable moment. Being alone will also let you stay focused on the person you are trying to talk to without any interference from others.
2-3. Smile and politely make eye contact.
Don't stare, just give a sweet, cute smile and when they look at you, look for a bit then quickly look away. See if you get eye contact or a smile back. If so, that is a great sign that they may be interested in you.
3. Asking Someone Out
3-1. Approach them calmly and casually.
When they're sitting alone just sit next to them and eventually start a general chat. If it is someone you have never talked to before, start off a conversation with “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” If you're already acquaintances, ask them casual things such as "Hey, How are you?.... How have things been?”
3-2. Keep the conversation moving forward.
Bring up your current location or the occasion (if it is at a party or meeting) you are attending to keep the conversation from getting too stale. Also, try to find a common interest that you share with the person to talk about in greater detail. Examples could be:
Entertainment
Travel
Reading
Art
School
3-3. Stay confident throughout the conversation.
Keep your head held high. Be proud of yourself at all times. If you blush, or your shyness comes up in conversation, embrace it. Do not be embarrassed, but casually joke about it or speak about it lightheartedly.
Understand that if you make a mistake or stumble on your words then the other person probably won’t notice or care.
3-4. Ask them on a date.
Once you have established a conversation that you think is going well, close out by asking the person on a date. Look them in the eye and use the lines you rehearsed to be clear and confident with your question. Start off small and ask them out to a movie, dinner or cup of coffee.
Make sure to exchange contact information and be clear on the time and place where the date will occur.
3-5. Keep your head up.
If you get rejected, understand that rejection is a common thing that happens to everyone. The most important thing is to learn from the rejection and continue to try your luck elsewhere. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be with the person you liked. But you did get over your shyness and asked them out! That confirms that you can do again.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Yourself\\n1-1. Look your best.\\nFocus on the three key things that make a difference: hygiene and style, plus a smile. Be clean, dress well, wear comfortable and well maintained clothes, and always remember to smile. Smiling can automatically make you more relatable and radiant.\\nMake sure to brush your teeth or use mouthwash. Bad breath is a real turnoff.\\n1-2. Practice in the mirror.\\nThere is nothing quite so helpful as rehearsal; preparing your mind helps you to feel familiar with the situation. And when you have a speech prepared, it will go a lot better. If you don't practice you may blurt out: 'ummm er wanna...go out...with, umm...let's date' or something silly like that. Keep practicing until it feels natural, or at least okay. Practice conversation starters such as:\\n”Hey, how is your day going?”\\n\\\"Hey, you're Greg’s friend aren't you?”\\n“Do you want to hang out sometime?\\\"\\n”Would you like to go to dinner or grab a coffee sometime?”\\n1-3. Be confident.\\nConfidence is important in any human interaction, but especially when asking someone out. Having confidence can help stop any stress or nervousness that might come up. Breathe deeply and focus on yourself overcoming your shyness.\\n2. Attracting Attention\\n2-1. Check out the situation.\\nLook for a time to ask the special someone out when it is not too noisy or hectic (Crossing a busy street, standing in line at a crowded restaurant). Also don’t be somewhere quiet enough to get other people's attention and make the situation uncomfortable.\\n2-2. Wait until the person is alone.\\nYou may not want to ask anyone out when they are with friends. They may get shy and it could turn into an uncomfortable moment. Being alone will also let you stay focused on the person you are trying to talk to without any interference from others.\\n2-3. Smile and politely make eye contact.\\nDon't stare, just give a sweet, cute smile and when they look at you, look for a bit then quickly look away. See if you get eye contact or a smile back. If so, that is a great sign that they may be interested in you.\\n3. Asking Someone Out\\n3-1. Approach them calmly and casually.\\nWhen they're sitting alone just sit next to them and eventually start a general chat. If it is someone you have never talked to before, start off a conversation with “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” If you're already acquaintances, ask them casual things such as \\\"Hey, How are you?.... How have things been?”\\n3-2. Keep the conversation moving forward.\\nBring up your current location or the occasion (if it is at a party or meeting) you are attending to keep the conversation from getting too stale. Also, try to find a common interest that you share with the person to talk about in greater detail. Examples could be:\\nEntertainment\\nTravel\\nReading\\nArt\\nSchool\\n3-3. Stay confident throughout the conversation.\\nKeep your head held high. Be proud of yourself at all times. If you blush, or your shyness comes up in conversation, embrace it. Do not be embarrassed, but casually joke about it or speak about it lightheartedly.\\nUnderstand that if you make a mistake or stumble on your words then the other person probably won’t notice or care.\\n3-4. Ask them on a date.\\nOnce you have established a conversation that you think is going well, close out by asking the person on a date. Look them in the eye and use the lines you rehearsed to be clear and confident with your question. Start off small and ask them out to a movie, dinner or cup of coffee.\\nMake sure to exchange contact information and be clear on the time and place where the date will occur.\\n3-5. Keep your head up.\\nIf you get rejected, understand that rejection is a common thing that happens to everyone. The most important thing is to learn from the rejection and continue to try your luck elsewhere. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be with the person you liked. But you did get over your shyness and asked them out! That confirms that you can do again.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone gets nervous when asking out someone they're interested in. Yet, while everyone goes through it, it can take a little more effort if you're shy. But it is perfectly possible to manage your shyness enough to be able to pluck up the nerve and ask that special someone out. Get ready to give it a try!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look your best.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on the three key things that make a difference: hygiene and style, plus a smile. Be clean, dress well, wear comfortable and well maintained clothes, and always remember to smile. Smiling can automatically make you more relatable and radiant.\\nMake sure to brush your teeth or use mouthwash. Bad breath is a real turnoff.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice in the mirror.\", \"描述\": \"There is nothing quite so helpful as rehearsal; preparing your mind helps you to feel familiar with the situation. And when you have a speech prepared, it will go a lot better. If you don't practice you may blurt out: 'ummm er wanna...go out...with, umm...let's date' or something silly like that. Keep practicing until it feels natural, or at least okay. Practice conversation starters such as:\\n”Hey, how is your day going?”\\n\\\"Hey, you're Greg’s friend aren't you?”\\n“Do you want to hang out sometime?\\\"\\n”Would you like to go to dinner or grab a coffee sometime?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Confidence is important in any human interaction, but especially when asking someone out. Having confidence can help stop any stress or nervousness that might come up. Breathe deeply and focus on yourself overcoming your shyness.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Attracting Attention\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check out the situation.\", \"描述\": \"Look for a time to ask the special someone out when it is not too noisy or hectic (Crossing a busy street, standing in line at a crowded restaurant). Also don’t be somewhere quiet enough to get other people's attention and make the situation uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wait until the person is alone.\", \"描述\": \"You may not want to ask anyone out when they are with friends. They may get shy and it could turn into an uncomfortable moment. Being alone will also let you stay focused on the person you are trying to talk to without any interference from others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile and politely make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Don't stare, just give a sweet, cute smile and when they look at you, look for a bit then quickly look away. See if you get eye contact or a smile back. If so, that is a great sign that they may be interested in you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Someone Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approach them calmly and casually.\", \"描述\": \"When they're sitting alone just sit next to them and eventually start a general chat. If it is someone you have never talked to before, start off a conversation with “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” If you're already acquaintances, ask them casual things such as \\\"Hey, How are you?.... How have things been?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep the conversation moving forward.\", \"描述\": \"Bring up your current location or the occasion (if it is at a party or meeting) you are attending to keep the conversation from getting too stale. Also, try to find a common interest that you share with the person to talk about in greater detail. Examples could be:\\nEntertainment\\nTravel\\nReading\\nArt\\nSchool\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay confident throughout the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your head held high. Be proud of yourself at all times. If you blush, or your shyness comes up in conversation, embrace it. Do not be embarrassed, but casually joke about it or speak about it lightheartedly.\\nUnderstand that if you make a mistake or stumble on your words then the other person probably won’t notice or care.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask them on a date.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have established a conversation that you think is going well, close out by asking the person on a date. Look them in the eye and use the lines you rehearsed to be clear and confident with your question. Start off small and ask them out to a movie, dinner or cup of coffee.\\nMake sure to exchange contact information and be clear on the time and place where the date will occur.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your head up.\", \"描述\": \"If you get rejected, understand that rejection is a common thing that happens to everyone. The most important thing is to learn from the rejection and continue to try your luck elsewhere. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be with the person you liked. But you did get over your shyness and asked them out! That confirms that you can do again.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,480 | How to Ask Someone to Be Your Bridesmaid | 1. Choosing Your Bridesmaid
1-1. Make a list of possible choices.
Before you go and ask the first people who pop into your head, take your time to think about who you want to ask. Talk to your fiance about your choices. Think about where the wedding will be held and if everyone can attend, especially if it’s a destination wedding. Then, make a list of people you would like to ask. Figure out if each person will fit well into your wedding.
Talk to your fiance about how many people will be in their wedding party. Then decide if you want the number to match.
1-2. Avoid the obligation trap.
Some people feel obligated to ask certain people for many reasons when they get married. This can cause stress for the bride, groom, and wedding party. Don’t feel like you have to ask anyone. It is your wedding, after all.
For example, you don’t have to ask someone whose wedding you were in years ago. You don’t have to ask people’s siblings or old college roommates. Ask people you truly want to be your bridesmaid.
1-3. Break with gender stereotypes.
Just because you are a bride doesn’t mean your bridal party has to be all women. If you are closer to the men in your life, have bridesmen instead of bridesmaids. This is your wedding, so you want to make your bridal party how you want it.
For example, if you want your brother in your bridal party, or your best friend is a man, ask them.
Don’t worry about matching the same number of men and women in the bridal and groom parties. Have the people you truly care about with you at the alter regardless of whether anything follows traditional rules.
1-4. Ask friends you can trust.
Being a bridesmaid is a big responsibility, and they will need to be there for you when things get stressful. Choose friends who have stuck by you for a long time, who have always been loyal, or who you know you can trust.
Be wary with newer friends, especially if you haven’t been friends for very long. You may not know if you can trust them yet.
1-5. Ask people who support your marriage.
Though you may be close with someone, if they don’t like your fiance or support your marriage, don’t ask them to be in your bridal party. Instead, ask friends who will support you and be happy for you on your big day.
1-6. Refrain from being upset if someone says no.
Some people may not have the time or money to be a bridesmaid, or they may not want that much attention. Whatever the reason, don’t get upset if someone declines to be in your wedding.
If someone declines, you can say, "I completely understand. Thank you for letting me know! I hope you will still come to the wedding!"
2. Making Crafts to Ask Your Bridesmaids
2-1. Create a crafty way to ask.
There are many ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid. If you are good at making crafts, or just want to create a special, unique way to ask your bridesmaids, try creating an artistic proposal.
For example, you can place your question or phrase in a fortune cookie. Decorate the fortune cookie with white chocolate and metallic sprinkles.
Take bottles of wine, champagne, or sparkling cider and attach labels asking if they would be your bridesmaid. You may also place labels on candles in the colors of your wedding or in scents that remind you of the bridesmaid.
2-2. Send them a beautiful card.
You may want to surprise your future bridesmaids with a card in their mailbox or sent to their work. The outside of the card can ask the question, while the inside can contain a personalized note from you.
You can choose to make your own cards from cardstock. You can print designs from a computer program, or you can decorate the card by hand with ribbon, glitter, flower petals, or other decorations.
Some companies sell cards specifically geared towards asking someone to be your bridesmaid.
2-3. Create a scrapbook.
Put together a scrapbook of photos featuring fun times you have had with your potential bridesmaids during your friendship. If you don’t want to do a whole scrapbook, just do a photo album. On the last page, you can ask the question.
If you have mementos, you can add copies to each scrapbook. This might include movie or concert tickets, receipts, or notes.
2-4. Make them picture frames.
Go to a craft store and buy frames for each bridesmaid. Decorate the frame with their name. You can also draw something on the frame if you are artistic, paint something using a stencil, or add decorative accents. Along the top, write “BRIDESMAID.”
Don’t forget to add the picture on the inside.
2-5. Buy them jewelry.
Jewelry is never a bad way to ask someone to be your bridesmaid. You can buy them rings, bracelets, or necklaces that feature bows since you are tying the knot. If you already know the theme for your wedding, you can choose jewelry in the design of your wedding theme.
Many online sellers sell bridesmaid-themed jewelry on sites like Etsy.
3. Finding Ways to Ask in Person
3-1. Organize a special day.
Instead of giving your potential bridesmaids a material gift, take them some place nice and ask them there. You can plan a special themed surprise or gift, or just use the opportunity of having everyone together to ask.
For example, you could go for a spa day and treat everyone to a special gift, like a pedicure, and ask them then. You might give them all matching robes that say “bridesmaid” on them.
3-2. Treat everyone to a meal.
Invite all your bridesmaids to get together for brunch, lunch, or dinner, your treat. While everyone is together, you can ask them to be your bridesmaid.
Consider place cards that say “bridesmaid” on them that you can sit at each person’s seat before you arrive.
3-3. Have a coffee, tea, or ice cream party.
Invite everyone to your home for a fun party. Depending on your tastes, you can have a coffee bar, a tea party, or an ice cream sundae bar. Let everyone make their own tasty treats and eat specially made desserts before you ask them.
3-4. Decorate cookies or cupcakes.
If you like to cook, you may want to ask your potential bridesmaids with food. Throw an engagement party or just invite them over, and prepare a cookie or cupcake for each woman.
You can decorate the cookies with the word “BRIDESMAID” or the question.
Consider putting flags in the cupcakes that say “BRIDESMAID” or asking the question.
3-5. Ask them individually.
If you want to keep it simple, consider asking the lucky lady in person. You can invite them to your home, visit them, or meet for dinner or coffee. Catch up and enjoy spending time with each other before you ask.
Keep it simple by saying something like, “I have something very important to ask you. Would you like to be my bridesmaid?”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing Your Bridesmaid\\n1-1. Make a list of possible choices.\\nBefore you go and ask the first people who pop into your head, take your time to think about who you want to ask. Talk to your fiance about your choices. Think about where the wedding will be held and if everyone can attend, especially if it’s a destination wedding. Then, make a list of people you would like to ask. Figure out if each person will fit well into your wedding.\\nTalk to your fiance about how many people will be in their wedding party. Then decide if you want the number to match.\\n1-2. Avoid the obligation trap.\\nSome people feel obligated to ask certain people for many reasons when they get married. This can cause stress for the bride, groom, and wedding party. Don’t feel like you have to ask anyone. It is your wedding, after all.\\nFor example, you don’t have to ask someone whose wedding you were in years ago. You don’t have to ask people’s siblings or old college roommates. Ask people you truly want to be your bridesmaid.\\n1-3. Break with gender stereotypes.\\nJust because you are a bride doesn’t mean your bridal party has to be all women. If you are closer to the men in your life, have bridesmen instead of bridesmaids. This is your wedding, so you want to make your bridal party how you want it.\\nFor example, if you want your brother in your bridal party, or your best friend is a man, ask them.\\nDon’t worry about matching the same number of men and women in the bridal and groom parties. Have the people you truly care about with you at the alter regardless of whether anything follows traditional rules.\\n1-4. Ask friends you can trust.\\nBeing a bridesmaid is a big responsibility, and they will need to be there for you when things get stressful. Choose friends who have stuck by you for a long time, who have always been loyal, or who you know you can trust.\\nBe wary with newer friends, especially if you haven’t been friends for very long. You may not know if you can trust them yet.\\n1-5. Ask people who support your marriage.\\nThough you may be close with someone, if they don’t like your fiance or support your marriage, don’t ask them to be in your bridal party. Instead, ask friends who will support you and be happy for you on your big day.\\n1-6. Refrain from being upset if someone says no.\\nSome people may not have the time or money to be a bridesmaid, or they may not want that much attention. Whatever the reason, don’t get upset if someone declines to be in your wedding.\\nIf someone declines, you can say, \\\"I completely understand. Thank you for letting me know! I hope you will still come to the wedding!\\\"\\n2. Making Crafts to Ask Your Bridesmaids\\n2-1. Create a crafty way to ask.\\nThere are many ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid. If you are good at making crafts, or just want to create a special, unique way to ask your bridesmaids, try creating an artistic proposal.\\nFor example, you can place your question or phrase in a fortune cookie. Decorate the fortune cookie with white chocolate and metallic sprinkles.\\nTake bottles of wine, champagne, or sparkling cider and attach labels asking if they would be your bridesmaid. You may also place labels on candles in the colors of your wedding or in scents that remind you of the bridesmaid.\\n2-2. Send them a beautiful card.\\nYou may want to surprise your future bridesmaids with a card in their mailbox or sent to their work. The outside of the card can ask the question, while the inside can contain a personalized note from you.\\nYou can choose to make your own cards from cardstock. You can print designs from a computer program, or you can decorate the card by hand with ribbon, glitter, flower petals, or other decorations.\\nSome companies sell cards specifically geared towards asking someone to be your bridesmaid.\\n2-3. Create a scrapbook.\\nPut together a scrapbook of photos featuring fun times you have had with your potential bridesmaids during your friendship. If you don’t want to do a whole scrapbook, just do a photo album. On the last page, you can ask the question.\\nIf you have mementos, you can add copies to each scrapbook. This might include movie or concert tickets, receipts, or notes.\\n2-4. Make them picture frames.\\nGo to a craft store and buy frames for each bridesmaid. Decorate the frame with their name. You can also draw something on the frame if you are artistic, paint something using a stencil, or add decorative accents. Along the top, write “BRIDESMAID.”\\nDon’t forget to add the picture on the inside.\\n2-5. Buy them jewelry.\\nJewelry is never a bad way to ask someone to be your bridesmaid. You can buy them rings, bracelets, or necklaces that feature bows since you are tying the knot. If you already know the theme for your wedding, you can choose jewelry in the design of your wedding theme.\\nMany online sellers sell bridesmaid-themed jewelry on sites like Etsy.\\n3. Finding Ways to Ask in Person\\n3-1. Organize a special day.\\nInstead of giving your potential bridesmaids a material gift, take them some place nice and ask them there. You can plan a special themed surprise or gift, or just use the opportunity of having everyone together to ask.\\nFor example, you could go for a spa day and treat everyone to a special gift, like a pedicure, and ask them then. You might give them all matching robes that say “bridesmaid” on them.\\n3-2. Treat everyone to a meal.\\nInvite all your bridesmaids to get together for brunch, lunch, or dinner, your treat. While everyone is together, you can ask them to be your bridesmaid.\\nConsider place cards that say “bridesmaid” on them that you can sit at each person’s seat before you arrive.\\n3-3. Have a coffee, tea, or ice cream party.\\nInvite everyone to your home for a fun party. Depending on your tastes, you can have a coffee bar, a tea party, or an ice cream sundae bar. Let everyone make their own tasty treats and eat specially made desserts before you ask them.\\n3-4. Decorate cookies or cupcakes.\\nIf you like to cook, you may want to ask your potential bridesmaids with food. Throw an engagement party or just invite them over, and prepare a cookie or cupcake for each woman.\\nYou can decorate the cookies with the word “BRIDESMAID” or the question.\\nConsider putting flags in the cupcakes that say “BRIDESMAID” or asking the question.\\n3-5. Ask them individually.\\nIf you want to keep it simple, consider asking the lucky lady in person. You can invite them to your home, visit them, or meet for dinner or coffee. Catch up and enjoy spending time with each other before you ask.\\nKeep it simple by saying something like, “I have something very important to ask you. Would you like to be my bridesmaid?”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Choosing a bridesmaid is an important part of your wedding planning process. You may not want to just ask them in person, but ask them in a fun, creative way. You can ask someone to be your bridesmaid in any creative way you can think of. To ask someone, start by carefully choosing your bridesmaids, make a crafty gift popping the question, or hold a special get together to ask everyone at once.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing Your Bridesmaid\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of possible choices.\", \"描述\": \"Before you go and ask the first people who pop into your head, take your time to think about who you want to ask. Talk to your fiance about your choices. Think about where the wedding will be held and if everyone can attend, especially if it’s a destination wedding. Then, make a list of people you would like to ask. Figure out if each person will fit well into your wedding.\\nTalk to your fiance about how many people will be in their wedding party. Then decide if you want the number to match.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid the obligation trap.\", \"描述\": \"Some people feel obligated to ask certain people for many reasons when they get married. This can cause stress for the bride, groom, and wedding party. Don’t feel like you have to ask anyone. It is your wedding, after all.\\nFor example, you don’t have to ask someone whose wedding you were in years ago. You don’t have to ask people’s siblings or old college roommates. Ask people you truly want to be your bridesmaid.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Break with gender stereotypes.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you are a bride doesn’t mean your bridal party has to be all women. If you are closer to the men in your life, have bridesmen instead of bridesmaids. This is your wedding, so you want to make your bridal party how you want it.\\nFor example, if you want your brother in your bridal party, or your best friend is a man, ask them.\\nDon’t worry about matching the same number of men and women in the bridal and groom parties. Have the people you truly care about with you at the alter regardless of whether anything follows traditional rules.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask friends you can trust.\", \"描述\": \"Being a bridesmaid is a big responsibility, and they will need to be there for you when things get stressful. Choose friends who have stuck by you for a long time, who have always been loyal, or who you know you can trust.\\nBe wary with newer friends, especially if you haven’t been friends for very long. You may not know if you can trust them yet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask people who support your marriage.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may be close with someone, if they don’t like your fiance or support your marriage, don’t ask them to be in your bridal party. Instead, ask friends who will support you and be happy for you on your big day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Refrain from being upset if someone says no.\", \"描述\": \"Some people may not have the time or money to be a bridesmaid, or they may not want that much attention. Whatever the reason, don’t get upset if someone declines to be in your wedding.\\nIf someone declines, you can say, \\\"I completely understand. Thank you for letting me know! I hope you will still come to the wedding!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Crafts to Ask Your Bridesmaids\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a crafty way to ask.\", \"描述\": \"There are many ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid. If you are good at making crafts, or just want to create a special, unique way to ask your bridesmaids, try creating an artistic proposal.\\nFor example, you can place your question or phrase in a fortune cookie. Decorate the fortune cookie with white chocolate and metallic sprinkles.\\nTake bottles of wine, champagne, or sparkling cider and attach labels asking if they would be your bridesmaid. You may also place labels on candles in the colors of your wedding or in scents that remind you of the bridesmaid.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send them a beautiful card.\", \"描述\": \"You may want to surprise your future bridesmaids with a card in their mailbox or sent to their work. The outside of the card can ask the question, while the inside can contain a personalized note from you.\\nYou can choose to make your own cards from cardstock. You can print designs from a computer program, or you can decorate the card by hand with ribbon, glitter, flower petals, or other decorations.\\nSome companies sell cards specifically geared towards asking someone to be your bridesmaid.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a scrapbook.\", \"描述\": \"Put together a scrapbook of photos featuring fun times you have had with your potential bridesmaids during your friendship. If you don’t want to do a whole scrapbook, just do a photo album. On the last page, you can ask the question.\\nIf you have mementos, you can add copies to each scrapbook. This might include movie or concert tickets, receipts, or notes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make them picture frames.\", \"描述\": \"Go to a craft store and buy frames for each bridesmaid. Decorate the frame with their name. You can also draw something on the frame if you are artistic, paint something using a stencil, or add decorative accents. Along the top, write “BRIDESMAID.”\\nDon’t forget to add the picture on the inside.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Buy them jewelry.\", \"描述\": \"Jewelry is never a bad way to ask someone to be your bridesmaid. You can buy them rings, bracelets, or necklaces that feature bows since you are tying the knot. If you already know the theme for your wedding, you can choose jewelry in the design of your wedding theme.\\nMany online sellers sell bridesmaid-themed jewelry on sites like Etsy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finding Ways to Ask in Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Organize a special day.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of giving your potential bridesmaids a material gift, take them some place nice and ask them there. You can plan a special themed surprise or gift, or just use the opportunity of having everyone together to ask.\\nFor example, you could go for a spa day and treat everyone to a special gift, like a pedicure, and ask them then. You might give them all matching robes that say “bridesmaid” on them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treat everyone to a meal.\", \"描述\": \"Invite all your bridesmaids to get together for brunch, lunch, or dinner, your treat. While everyone is together, you can ask them to be your bridesmaid.\\nConsider place cards that say “bridesmaid” on them that you can sit at each person’s seat before you arrive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a coffee, tea, or ice cream party.\", \"描述\": \"Invite everyone to your home for a fun party. Depending on your tastes, you can have a coffee bar, a tea party, or an ice cream sundae bar. Let everyone make their own tasty treats and eat specially made desserts before you ask them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decorate cookies or cupcakes.\", \"描述\": \"If you like to cook, you may want to ask your potential bridesmaids with food. Throw an engagement party or just invite them over, and prepare a cookie or cupcake for each woman.\\nYou can decorate the cookies with the word “BRIDESMAID” or the question.\\nConsider putting flags in the cupcakes that say “BRIDESMAID” or asking the question.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask them individually.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to keep it simple, consider asking the lucky lady in person. You can invite them to your home, visit them, or meet for dinner or coffee. Catch up and enjoy spending time with each other before you ask.\\nKeep it simple by saying something like, “I have something very important to ask you. Would you like to be my bridesmaid?”\"}]}]}}",
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2,481 | How to Ask Someone to Be Your Child's Godparent | 1. Choosing Who to Ask
1-1. Make a shortlist of people whose values align with your own.
You want to pick a godparent who will be a good role model and mentor for your child. First and foremost, it should be someone that you trust and respect.
Take time to think through what qualities you most appreciate and what your priorities are. Decide, for example, if you have preference for having a family member like a sibling be a godparent or if you’d rather have a close friend. If political or religious beliefs are of the utmost importance to you, then pick someone with similar views.
Similarly, if you would like a person who has a positive attitude or an honest character, narrow down your list accordingly. If it matters to you whether or not your prospective godparent is in a stable relationship or has achieved a degree of professional success, let that steer your choices.
1-2. Consider what they might offer your child that you do not.
While it’s important to have a godparent with shared values, you might also want them to bring something different to the table than what your child gets every day at home. They will appreciate the change of pace.
For instance, is there someone more adventurous than you who could take your child out exploring or someone who works in an exciting field that she could introduce to your child? Does one of your choices have an exceptional sense of humor or personal passion they could share?
1-3. Check the policies of your local church.
If you intend to baptize your child or belong to a specific religious denomination, your church may have particular criteria when it comes to who can serve as a godparent. Because godparents represent the faith community during baptism ceremonies, some faiths may require one or both godparents to be of the same denomination or in good standing with the church first.
1-4. Select a person who can build a lasting relationship with your child.
You want godparents who will be accessible and take an active interest in your child’s life and well-being.
Prioritize people who are live near to you so that they can be a routine part in the child’s development.
Avoid asking people who already have multiple godchildren so that your child’s godparents do not feel overcommitted.
Take a person’s ability to assume responsibility for your child into account. For instance, you may want to shy away from asking an aging family member who may not be up to the task or present for all of your child’s upbringing.
2. Making the Request
2-1. Decide when you would like to ask.
Most people wait until after their child is born, but some prefer to choose godparents during the pregnancy. If you're planning a baptism or other formal ceremony for your new arrival, be sure to ask your godparents at least a few months in advance so that they have plenty of time to make arrangements to be attendance.
If there are no logistical concerns, do what feels right to you. Asking someone during the pregnancy can make people feel included in your child’s life from the very start and means that they can be involved right away after the birth. If you hold off until after your child is born, it’s often less hectic and gives you more time to make the decision. You can also see how prospective godparents interact with your newborn.
2-2. Schedule a meeting with the prospective godparents.
Touching base with each other will prepare prospective godparents for the role while helping you make an informed decision about who to select. Since you’re not officially asking the person to be a godparent during this meeting, keep it informal. Arrange a time when you see them in person or through a casual phone call. Choose a location that fits into your normal social interaction with the person. You also want your conversation to be as friendly and open as possible; it shouldn’t feel like job interview or interrogation.
Give your friend or family member a heads up that you’d like to discuss the possibility of them being a godparent for your child. Telling them you’d like to chat about godparenting will allow them to consider what they think about the prospect in advance.
You could say something as simple as: “We’re trying to decide who Amy’s godparents should be. We thought about you and were wondering if you’re interested. If so, would you be up for discussing it when we meet?” The other advantage of mentioning this beforehand is that if they immediately react against the idea, you can cross them off the list without further ado.
2-3. Ask questions to gauge their interest and suitability.
Use your meeting to find out if the person is game, seems like the best choice for the part, and will enjoy the experience and not see it as a burden. You may start by asking them about their godparents, if they had any. Whether or not they had a solid relationship with their godparents, it’s a good way to segway into a discussion of what they think a good relationship between godparents and their godchild would look like.
Consider asking questions such as, “What does being a godparent mean to you?” or “What would you look forward to about mentoring Amy?” Their answers will give you a sense about how they would approach the role. If they have responses that are enthusiastic and resonate with your ideas about godparenting, you are on the right track.
Don’t hesitate to ask about their future plans. Some relevant questions may include: “Do you think you’ll stay in the area or are you looking to move sometime down the line?” “Is your company likely to ask you to relocate?” “Will your work schedule and family commitments allow you space to occasionally spend time with our child?”
2-4. Be clear about your expectations.
Being a godparent is an honor that comes with responsibility. If you want them to take the role seriously, be up front about what sort of relationship and what kinds of interactions you would like for a godparent to have with your child. Before you have your meeting, think about how and when you would like for them to be in touch with your child and whether you expect them to be present for birthdays, confirmations, graduations, and other milestones.
Godparents are often the people designated to take care of their children in the event anything should happen to their parents. If you would like your prospective godparent to assume this responsibility, say so and ask them how they would feel about it.
You could ask: “If Oliver and I were to die in an accident, would you be ready and able to take care of Amy and raise her for us?” This is the weightiest of responsibilities for a godparent, so it’s important to broach the subject. If they’re not willing to step in as a guardian, you will have to find someone else.
2-5. Extend the invitation in a meaningful way.
You’ve done your homework, now it’s time to make the ask for this very special request. There are plenty of thoughtful and creative ways to make new godparents feel welcomed and appreciated.
Have a family dinner in their honor. Especially if they’re not a blood relative, this is a gesture that shows they’re a valued part of your family circle.
Send them a card with a sincere message. Many shops and online stores carry notecards that are specifically addressed to godparents. If you’re feeling playful, you can write the note from your child’s perspective, to let the new godparent know how much it’ll mean to your daughter or son.
Give them a framed picture of their new goddaughter or godson or include a photo in your card. To add a bit of fun, have your child hold a sign or wear a onesie that asks the question for you.
Create a personalized gift to mark the occasion. It could be a mug or a t-shirt with a message, like “Best Godparent,” or a piece of jewelry or a key chain with an inscription that they can carry with them as a reminder.
Tips
While originally godparents were intended to help guide spiritual development, you don’t necessarily have to be religious to seek godparents for your children. However, some secular families prefer to designate “legal guardians” rather than godparents. [8]
X
Research source
Don't expect godparents to shower your child with gifts for every occasion - and tell them that you don't expect it. Moral support counts for more than material when it comes to godparents.
Warnings
Don't ask someone to be a godparent without first checking with church. You don't want to have to explain to your friends or family why they can't be play the part after you have you already asked them.
Never choose someone to be a godparent out of a sense of obligation. It’s an important role, so be sure you have the person you want fulfilling it.
| {
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Consider what they might offer your child that you do not.\\nWhile it’s important to have a godparent with shared values, you might also want them to bring something different to the table than what your child gets every day at home. They will appreciate the change of pace. \\nFor instance, is there someone more adventurous than you who could take your child out exploring or someone who works in an exciting field that she could introduce to your child? Does one of your choices have an exceptional sense of humor or personal passion they could share?\\n1-3. Check the policies of your local church.\\nIf you intend to baptize your child or belong to a specific religious denomination, your church may have particular criteria when it comes to who can serve as a godparent. Because godparents represent the faith community during baptism ceremonies, some faiths may require one or both godparents to be of the same denomination or in good standing with the church first.\\n1-4. Select a person who can build a lasting relationship with your child.\\nYou want godparents who will be accessible and take an active interest in your child’s life and well-being.\\nPrioritize people who are live near to you so that they can be a routine part in the child’s development.\\nAvoid asking people who already have multiple godchildren so that your child’s godparents do not feel overcommitted.\\nTake a person’s ability to assume responsibility for your child into account. For instance, you may want to shy away from asking an aging family member who may not be up to the task or present for all of your child’s upbringing.\\n2. Making the Request\\n2-1. Decide when you would like to ask.\\nMost people wait until after their child is born, but some prefer to choose godparents during the pregnancy. If you're planning a baptism or other formal ceremony for your new arrival, be sure to ask your godparents at least a few months in advance so that they have plenty of time to make arrangements to be attendance.\\nIf there are no logistical concerns, do what feels right to you. Asking someone during the pregnancy can make people feel included in your child’s life from the very start and means that they can be involved right away after the birth. If you hold off until after your child is born, it’s often less hectic and gives you more time to make the decision. You can also see how prospective godparents interact with your newborn.\\n2-2. Schedule a meeting with the prospective godparents.\\nTouching base with each other will prepare prospective godparents for the role while helping you make an informed decision about who to select. Since you’re not officially asking the person to be a godparent during this meeting, keep it informal. Arrange a time when you see them in person or through a casual phone call. Choose a location that fits into your normal social interaction with the person. You also want your conversation to be as friendly and open as possible; it shouldn’t feel like job interview or interrogation.\\nGive your friend or family member a heads up that you’d like to discuss the possibility of them being a godparent for your child. Telling them you’d like to chat about godparenting will allow them to consider what they think about the prospect in advance.\\nYou could say something as simple as: “We’re trying to decide who Amy’s godparents should be. We thought about you and were wondering if you’re interested. If so, would you be up for discussing it when we meet?” The other advantage of mentioning this beforehand is that if they immediately react against the idea, you can cross them off the list without further ado.\\n2-3. Ask questions to gauge their interest and suitability.\\nUse your meeting to find out if the person is game, seems like the best choice for the part, and will enjoy the experience and not see it as a burden. You may start by asking them about their godparents, if they had any. Whether or not they had a solid relationship with their godparents, it’s a good way to segway into a discussion of what they think a good relationship between godparents and their godchild would look like.\\nConsider asking questions such as, “What does being a godparent mean to you?” or “What would you look forward to about mentoring Amy?” Their answers will give you a sense about how they would approach the role. If they have responses that are enthusiastic and resonate with your ideas about godparenting, you are on the right track.\\nDon’t hesitate to ask about their future plans. Some relevant questions may include: “Do you think you’ll stay in the area or are you looking to move sometime down the line?” “Is your company likely to ask you to relocate?” “Will your work schedule and family commitments allow you space to occasionally spend time with our child?”\\n2-4. Be clear about your expectations.\\nBeing a godparent is an honor that comes with responsibility. If you want them to take the role seriously, be up front about what sort of relationship and what kinds of interactions you would like for a godparent to have with your child. Before you have your meeting, think about how and when you would like for them to be in touch with your child and whether you expect them to be present for birthdays, confirmations, graduations, and other milestones.\\nGodparents are often the people designated to take care of their children in the event anything should happen to their parents. If you would like your prospective godparent to assume this responsibility, say so and ask them how they would feel about it.\\nYou could ask: “If Oliver and I were to die in an accident, would you be ready and able to take care of Amy and raise her for us?” This is the weightiest of responsibilities for a godparent, so it’s important to broach the subject. If they’re not willing to step in as a guardian, you will have to find someone else.\\n2-5. Extend the invitation in a meaningful way.\\nYou’ve done your homework, now it’s time to make the ask for this very special request. There are plenty of thoughtful and creative ways to make new godparents feel welcomed and appreciated.\\nHave a family dinner in their honor. Especially if they’re not a blood relative, this is a gesture that shows they’re a valued part of your family circle.\\nSend them a card with a sincere message. Many shops and online stores carry notecards that are specifically addressed to godparents. If you’re feeling playful, you can write the note from your child’s perspective, to let the new godparent know how much it’ll mean to your daughter or son.\\nGive them a framed picture of their new goddaughter or godson or include a photo in your card. To add a bit of fun, have your child hold a sign or wear a onesie that asks the question for you.\\nCreate a personalized gift to mark the occasion. It could be a mug or a t-shirt with a message, like “Best Godparent,” or a piece of jewelry or a key chain with an inscription that they can carry with them as a reminder.\\nTips\\nWhile originally godparents were intended to help guide spiritual development, you don’t necessarily have to be religious to seek godparents for your children. However, some secular families prefer to designate “legal guardians” rather than godparents. [8]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDon't expect godparents to shower your child with gifts for every occasion - and tell them that you don't expect it. Moral support counts for more than material when it comes to godparents.\\nWarnings\\nDon't ask someone to be a godparent without first checking with church. You don't want to have to explain to your friends or family why they can't be play the part after you have you already asked them.\\nNever choose someone to be a godparent out of a sense of obligation. It’s an important role, so be sure you have the person you want fulfilling it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Godparents fulfill a very special role in your child’s life. When you choose the right people for the job, your son or daughter will come away with a lifelong friend and mentor. Figuring out who to ask among your family and friends can be a tricky task, but it’s worth taking time to make a heartfelt and informed decision. With a little thoughtful preparation, you can be sure to make a confident pick and find the most meaningful way to present the invitation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing Who to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a shortlist of people whose values align with your own.\", \"描述\": \"You want to pick a godparent who will be a good role model and mentor for your child. First and foremost, it should be someone that you trust and respect.\\nTake time to think through what qualities you most appreciate and what your priorities are. Decide, for example, if you have preference for having a family member like a sibling be a godparent or if you’d rather have a close friend. If political or religious beliefs are of the utmost importance to you, then pick someone with similar views.\\nSimilarly, if you would like a person who has a positive attitude or an honest character, narrow down your list accordingly. If it matters to you whether or not your prospective godparent is in a stable relationship or has achieved a degree of professional success, let that steer your choices.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider what they might offer your child that you do not.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s important to have a godparent with shared values, you might also want them to bring something different to the table than what your child gets every day at home. They will appreciate the change of pace. \\nFor instance, is there someone more adventurous than you who could take your child out exploring or someone who works in an exciting field that she could introduce to your child? Does one of your choices have an exceptional sense of humor or personal passion they could share?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check the policies of your local church.\", \"描述\": \"If you intend to baptize your child or belong to a specific religious denomination, your church may have particular criteria when it comes to who can serve as a godparent. Because godparents represent the faith community during baptism ceremonies, some faiths may require one or both godparents to be of the same denomination or in good standing with the church first.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select a person who can build a lasting relationship with your child.\", \"描述\": \"You want godparents who will be accessible and take an active interest in your child’s life and well-being.\\nPrioritize people who are live near to you so that they can be a routine part in the child’s development.\\nAvoid asking people who already have multiple godchildren so that your child’s godparents do not feel overcommitted.\\nTake a person’s ability to assume responsibility for your child into account. For instance, you may want to shy away from asking an aging family member who may not be up to the task or present for all of your child’s upbringing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making the Request\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide when you would like to ask.\", \"描述\": \"Most people wait until after their child is born, but some prefer to choose godparents during the pregnancy. If you're planning a baptism or other formal ceremony for your new arrival, be sure to ask your godparents at least a few months in advance so that they have plenty of time to make arrangements to be attendance.\\nIf there are no logistical concerns, do what feels right to you. Asking someone during the pregnancy can make people feel included in your child’s life from the very start and means that they can be involved right away after the birth. If you hold off until after your child is born, it’s often less hectic and gives you more time to make the decision. You can also see how prospective godparents interact with your newborn.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Schedule a meeting with the prospective godparents.\", \"描述\": \"Touching base with each other will prepare prospective godparents for the role while helping you make an informed decision about who to select. Since you’re not officially asking the person to be a godparent during this meeting, keep it informal. Arrange a time when you see them in person or through a casual phone call. Choose a location that fits into your normal social interaction with the person. You also want your conversation to be as friendly and open as possible; it shouldn’t feel like job interview or interrogation.\\nGive your friend or family member a heads up that you’d like to discuss the possibility of them being a godparent for your child. Telling them you’d like to chat about godparenting will allow them to consider what they think about the prospect in advance.\\nYou could say something as simple as: “We’re trying to decide who Amy’s godparents should be. We thought about you and were wondering if you’re interested. If so, would you be up for discussing it when we meet?” The other advantage of mentioning this beforehand is that if they immediately react against the idea, you can cross them off the list without further ado.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions to gauge their interest and suitability.\", \"描述\": \"Use your meeting to find out if the person is game, seems like the best choice for the part, and will enjoy the experience and not see it as a burden. You may start by asking them about their godparents, if they had any. Whether or not they had a solid relationship with their godparents, it’s a good way to segway into a discussion of what they think a good relationship between godparents and their godchild would look like.\\nConsider asking questions such as, “What does being a godparent mean to you?” or “What would you look forward to about mentoring Amy?” Their answers will give you a sense about how they would approach the role. If they have responses that are enthusiastic and resonate with your ideas about godparenting, you are on the right track.\\nDon’t hesitate to ask about their future plans. Some relevant questions may include: “Do you think you’ll stay in the area or are you looking to move sometime down the line?” “Is your company likely to ask you to relocate?” “Will your work schedule and family commitments allow you space to occasionally spend time with our child?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be clear about your expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Being a godparent is an honor that comes with responsibility. If you want them to take the role seriously, be up front about what sort of relationship and what kinds of interactions you would like for a godparent to have with your child. Before you have your meeting, think about how and when you would like for them to be in touch with your child and whether you expect them to be present for birthdays, confirmations, graduations, and other milestones.\\nGodparents are often the people designated to take care of their children in the event anything should happen to their parents. If you would like your prospective godparent to assume this responsibility, say so and ask them how they would feel about it.\\nYou could ask: “If Oliver and I were to die in an accident, would you be ready and able to take care of Amy and raise her for us?” This is the weightiest of responsibilities for a godparent, so it’s important to broach the subject. If they’re not willing to step in as a guardian, you will have to find someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Extend the invitation in a meaningful way.\", \"描述\": \"You’ve done your homework, now it’s time to make the ask for this very special request. There are plenty of thoughtful and creative ways to make new godparents feel welcomed and appreciated.\\nHave a family dinner in their honor. Especially if they’re not a blood relative, this is a gesture that shows they’re a valued part of your family circle.\\nSend them a card with a sincere message. Many shops and online stores carry notecards that are specifically addressed to godparents. If you’re feeling playful, you can write the note from your child’s perspective, to let the new godparent know how much it’ll mean to your daughter or son.\\nGive them a framed picture of their new goddaughter or godson or include a photo in your card. To add a bit of fun, have your child hold a sign or wear a onesie that asks the question for you.\\nCreate a personalized gift to mark the occasion. It could be a mug or a t-shirt with a message, like “Best Godparent,” or a piece of jewelry or a key chain with an inscription that they can carry with them as a reminder.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"While originally godparents were intended to help guide spiritual development, you don’t necessarily have to be religious to seek godparents for your children. However, some secular families prefer to designate “legal guardians” rather than godparents. [8]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Don't expect godparents to shower your child with gifts for every occasion - and tell them that you don't expect it. Moral support counts for more than material when it comes to godparents.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't ask someone to be a godparent without first checking with church. You don't want to have to explain to your friends or family why they can't be play the part after you have you already asked them.\\n\", \"Never choose someone to be a godparent out of a sense of obligation. It’s an important role, so be sure you have the person you want fulfilling it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,482 | How to Ask Someone to Be Your Groomsman | 1. Doing a Basic Invitation
1-1. Ask in person whenever possible.
Receiving an invitation to be a groomsman is exciting. It also sends a meaningful message that you value your relationship with someone enough to ask that they stand beside you while you make one of the most significant commitments in your life. Accordingly, make your request personal by asking in person if you can.
There doesn’t need to be any pomp and circumstance. Simply get together and say something like, “Hey man, our friendship has meant a lot to me over the years. I wanted to ask you if you’d we willing to join Carrie and I on our wedding day as a groomsman?”
Keep in mind you can still send along a funny card or a thoughtful gift in the mail.
1-2. Write them a letter.
If you’re not able to speak in person with all of your groomsmen, consider writing a letter to those you will ask by mail. Since a letter can be more personal than a phone call, this is preferable, especially for a close friend that lives further away.
Be specific with something like, “I’m writing to invite you to join us on our wedding day as a groomsman.”
Include a more personal message as well. For instance, say something about what your relationship with the recipient has meant, and why you want them to be at your wedding.
1-3. Send a reminder card.
Even if you’re able to have the conversation in person, it’s worth sending a card with the details. Since you already spoke about it in person, the card will simply function as a tangible reminder, with important information like dates, location, and dress code.
Choose or make a card that reflects your personality, an interest you share with your groomsman, or a design that fits with your wedding theme.
Look at greeting card websites and wedding websites for examples of card designs. Many will allow you to order cards in a design you like and customize lettering and color schemes.
If you haven’t finalized a date but want to nail down your wedding party, let them know what time of year you’re thinking. Get back to them about a specific day as soon as you determine one.
2. Asking Cleverly
2-1. Host an event and surprise your groomsmen.
If possible, gather all the gentlemen you’re hoping will be your groomsmen and break the news in a celebratory manner. For instance, invite them over for a pot of your world-famous chili and a couple of hands of poker.
Before they arrive, relabel a few bottles of beer with customized “Groomsman” labels and set them in each spot at the table with a koozie covering the label.
Once everyone sits down, propose a toast and have everyone remove the koozies simultaneously.
Verbalize your excitement by saying something like, "It'd really mean a lot to have you guys as my groomsmen."
2-2. Go the romantic route.
It's not everyday you get to buy your friends roses. If they'll appreciate the humor or are just into flowers, consider sending a bouquet with a card saying something like, "Alexander.... be my groomsman?" Even better, send the bouquet to their home or, if you know they'd be okay with it, to their place of work.
2-3. Make a prank out of it.
If your potential groomsmen are all over the country and you’ll be sending out snail mail requests, consider going the April Fool’s route. For instance, write, “Notice of Mandatory Attendance” on a formal looking envelope. This may get them scratching their heads as they nervously open your request, only to be relieved by the exciting content.
Another idea: Send a plain envelope that reads “Important Instructions” on the exterior. Inside, include directions on how to tie a tie, as well as your folded request.
Whatever you do, make sure the letter doesn’t look like spam. Hand-write their address. You don’t want them accidentally throwing it away!
3. Customizing Your Groomsman Requests
3-1. Make custom booze-themed labels.
There are various websites that will help you design and order custom beer or liquor bottle labels. You can also design, print, and cut your own. Affix these directly to individual beer bottles with sticker paper, or hang more traditional cards around the necks of your groomsmen’ favorite liquor bottles.
Either present these gifts in person or send them in the mail. They can be even be used to break the news, or as a follow-up to an in-person conversation.
For instance, you might customize labels that look like name tags with text like "Groomsman Tucker."
3-2. Give your groomsmen something to wear on your big day.
Part of accepting the gig as your groomsman is agreeing to wear whatever outfit you want them to wear at your wedding. If you so happen to have style-minded friends, they may appreciate a customized something-or-other that will fit with the suits you’ve chosen.
For instance, get your buddies bow ties that reflect each of their individual styles. Get that wannabe lumberjack buddy a plaid bow tie and your alma mater’s biggest fan a bow tie with the team mascot on it.
3-3. Include a long-lasting customized gift.
While booze and a cigar are the traditional groomsman gifts, consider getting something a bit longer-lasting to include with your groomsman requests. For instance, a simple but classy tie clip or a lighter monogrammed a buddy’s initials is something they’ll likely keep for the rest of their lives.
Cufflinks are a classic example, and can be tailored to each groomsman.
For instance, have custom-made cuff links with your favorite picture of your buddy inset, or an inscription of an inside joke between the two of you.
3-4. Acknowledge financial costs if necessary.
Getting down to brass tacks: it costs money to be a groomsman. Tux rental alone can be expensive, not to mention peripheral costs like a wedding gift, travel costs, and a potential bachelor party. In situations where you know cost may be a factor regarding someone’s ability to be your groomsman, don’t ignore the issue.
If you have a friend that may not be able to afford being your groomsman but you’d like them to be, considering covering the cost yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Doing a Basic Invitation\\n1-1. Ask in person whenever possible.\\nReceiving an invitation to be a groomsman is exciting. It also sends a meaningful message that you value your relationship with someone enough to ask that they stand beside you while you make one of the most significant commitments in your life. Accordingly, make your request personal by asking in person if you can.\\nThere doesn’t need to be any pomp and circumstance. Simply get together and say something like, “Hey man, our friendship has meant a lot to me over the years. I wanted to ask you if you’d we willing to join Carrie and I on our wedding day as a groomsman?”\\nKeep in mind you can still send along a funny card or a thoughtful gift in the mail.\\n1-2. Write them a letter.\\nIf you’re not able to speak in person with all of your groomsmen, consider writing a letter to those you will ask by mail. Since a letter can be more personal than a phone call, this is preferable, especially for a close friend that lives further away.\\nBe specific with something like, “I’m writing to invite you to join us on our wedding day as a groomsman.”\\nInclude a more personal message as well. For instance, say something about what your relationship with the recipient has meant, and why you want them to be at your wedding.\\n1-3. Send a reminder card.\\nEven if you’re able to have the conversation in person, it’s worth sending a card with the details. Since you already spoke about it in person, the card will simply function as a tangible reminder, with important information like dates, location, and dress code.\\nChoose or make a card that reflects your personality, an interest you share with your groomsman, or a design that fits with your wedding theme.\\nLook at greeting card websites and wedding websites for examples of card designs. Many will allow you to order cards in a design you like and customize lettering and color schemes.\\nIf you haven’t finalized a date but want to nail down your wedding party, let them know what time of year you’re thinking. Get back to them about a specific day as soon as you determine one.\\n2. Asking Cleverly\\n2-1. Host an event and surprise your groomsmen.\\nIf possible, gather all the gentlemen you’re hoping will be your groomsmen and break the news in a celebratory manner. For instance, invite them over for a pot of your world-famous chili and a couple of hands of poker.\\nBefore they arrive, relabel a few bottles of beer with customized “Groomsman” labels and set them in each spot at the table with a koozie covering the label.\\nOnce everyone sits down, propose a toast and have everyone remove the koozies simultaneously.\\nVerbalize your excitement by saying something like, \\\"It'd really mean a lot to have you guys as my groomsmen.\\\"\\n2-2. Go the romantic route.\\nIt's not everyday you get to buy your friends roses. If they'll appreciate the humor or are just into flowers, consider sending a bouquet with a card saying something like, \\\"Alexander.... be my groomsman?\\\" Even better, send the bouquet to their home or, if you know they'd be okay with it, to their place of work.\\n2-3. Make a prank out of it.\\nIf your potential groomsmen are all over the country and you’ll be sending out snail mail requests, consider going the April Fool’s route. For instance, write, “Notice of Mandatory Attendance” on a formal looking envelope. This may get them scratching their heads as they nervously open your request, only to be relieved by the exciting content.\\nAnother idea: Send a plain envelope that reads “Important Instructions” on the exterior. Inside, include directions on how to tie a tie, as well as your folded request.\\nWhatever you do, make sure the letter doesn’t look like spam. Hand-write their address. You don’t want them accidentally throwing it away!\\n3. Customizing Your Groomsman Requests\\n3-1. Make custom booze-themed labels.\\nThere are various websites that will help you design and order custom beer or liquor bottle labels. You can also design, print, and cut your own. Affix these directly to individual beer bottles with sticker paper, or hang more traditional cards around the necks of your groomsmen’ favorite liquor bottles.\\nEither present these gifts in person or send them in the mail. They can be even be used to break the news, or as a follow-up to an in-person conversation.\\nFor instance, you might customize labels that look like name tags with text like \\\"Groomsman Tucker.\\\"\\n3-2. Give your groomsmen something to wear on your big day.\\nPart of accepting the gig as your groomsman is agreeing to wear whatever outfit you want them to wear at your wedding. If you so happen to have style-minded friends, they may appreciate a customized something-or-other that will fit with the suits you’ve chosen.\\nFor instance, get your buddies bow ties that reflect each of their individual styles. Get that wannabe lumberjack buddy a plaid bow tie and your alma mater’s biggest fan a bow tie with the team mascot on it.\\n3-3. Include a long-lasting customized gift.\\nWhile booze and a cigar are the traditional groomsman gifts, consider getting something a bit longer-lasting to include with your groomsman requests. For instance, a simple but classy tie clip or a lighter monogrammed a buddy’s initials is something they’ll likely keep for the rest of their lives.\\nCufflinks are a classic example, and can be tailored to each groomsman.\\nFor instance, have custom-made cuff links with your favorite picture of your buddy inset, or an inscription of an inside joke between the two of you.\\n3-4. Acknowledge financial costs if necessary.\\nGetting down to brass tacks: it costs money to be a groomsman. Tux rental alone can be expensive, not to mention peripheral costs like a wedding gift, travel costs, and a potential bachelor party. In situations where you know cost may be a factor regarding someone’s ability to be your groomsman, don’t ignore the issue.\\nIf you have a friend that may not be able to afford being your groomsman but you’d like them to be, considering covering the cost yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Once you and your fiance have chosen your wedding party, you’ll need to ask each prospective groomsman if he's up for it. If possible, plan to ask each groomsman in person. There are a handful of playful and humorous ways to ask too. You may want to send cards and/or gifts as well.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Doing a Basic Invitation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask in person whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"Receiving an invitation to be a groomsman is exciting. It also sends a meaningful message that you value your relationship with someone enough to ask that they stand beside you while you make one of the most significant commitments in your life. Accordingly, make your request personal by asking in person if you can.\\nThere doesn’t need to be any pomp and circumstance. Simply get together and say something like, “Hey man, our friendship has meant a lot to me over the years. I wanted to ask you if you’d we willing to join Carrie and I on our wedding day as a groomsman?”\\nKeep in mind you can still send along a funny card or a thoughtful gift in the mail.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write them a letter.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re not able to speak in person with all of your groomsmen, consider writing a letter to those you will ask by mail. Since a letter can be more personal than a phone call, this is preferable, especially for a close friend that lives further away.\\nBe specific with something like, “I’m writing to invite you to join us on our wedding day as a groomsman.”\\nInclude a more personal message as well. For instance, say something about what your relationship with the recipient has meant, and why you want them to be at your wedding.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send a reminder card.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you’re able to have the conversation in person, it’s worth sending a card with the details. Since you already spoke about it in person, the card will simply function as a tangible reminder, with important information like dates, location, and dress code.\\nChoose or make a card that reflects your personality, an interest you share with your groomsman, or a design that fits with your wedding theme.\\nLook at greeting card websites and wedding websites for examples of card designs. Many will allow you to order cards in a design you like and customize lettering and color schemes.\\nIf you haven’t finalized a date but want to nail down your wedding party, let them know what time of year you’re thinking. Get back to them about a specific day as soon as you determine one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Cleverly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Host an event and surprise your groomsmen.\", \"描述\": \"If possible, gather all the gentlemen you’re hoping will be your groomsmen and break the news in a celebratory manner. For instance, invite them over for a pot of your world-famous chili and a couple of hands of poker.\\nBefore they arrive, relabel a few bottles of beer with customized “Groomsman” labels and set them in each spot at the table with a koozie covering the label.\\nOnce everyone sits down, propose a toast and have everyone remove the koozies simultaneously.\\nVerbalize your excitement by saying something like, \\\"It'd really mean a lot to have you guys as my groomsmen.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go the romantic route.\", \"描述\": \"It's not everyday you get to buy your friends roses. If they'll appreciate the humor or are just into flowers, consider sending a bouquet with a card saying something like, \\\"Alexander.... be my groomsman?\\\" Even better, send the bouquet to their home or, if you know they'd be okay with it, to their place of work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a prank out of it.\", \"描述\": \"If your potential groomsmen are all over the country and you’ll be sending out snail mail requests, consider going the April Fool’s route. For instance, write, “Notice of Mandatory Attendance” on a formal looking envelope. This may get them scratching their heads as they nervously open your request, only to be relieved by the exciting content.\\nAnother idea: Send a plain envelope that reads “Important Instructions” on the exterior. Inside, include directions on how to tie a tie, as well as your folded request.\\nWhatever you do, make sure the letter doesn’t look like spam. Hand-write their address. You don’t want them accidentally throwing it away!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Customizing Your Groomsman Requests\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make custom booze-themed labels.\", \"描述\": \"There are various websites that will help you design and order custom beer or liquor bottle labels. You can also design, print, and cut your own. Affix these directly to individual beer bottles with sticker paper, or hang more traditional cards around the necks of your groomsmen’ favorite liquor bottles.\\nEither present these gifts in person or send them in the mail. They can be even be used to break the news, or as a follow-up to an in-person conversation.\\nFor instance, you might customize labels that look like name tags with text like \\\"Groomsman Tucker.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give your groomsmen something to wear on your big day.\", \"描述\": \"Part of accepting the gig as your groomsman is agreeing to wear whatever outfit you want them to wear at your wedding. If you so happen to have style-minded friends, they may appreciate a customized something-or-other that will fit with the suits you’ve chosen.\\nFor instance, get your buddies bow ties that reflect each of their individual styles. Get that wannabe lumberjack buddy a plaid bow tie and your alma mater’s biggest fan a bow tie with the team mascot on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Include a long-lasting customized gift.\", \"描述\": \"While booze and a cigar are the traditional groomsman gifts, consider getting something a bit longer-lasting to include with your groomsman requests. For instance, a simple but classy tie clip or a lighter monogrammed a buddy’s initials is something they’ll likely keep for the rest of their lives.\\nCufflinks are a classic example, and can be tailored to each groomsman.\\nFor instance, have custom-made cuff links with your favorite picture of your buddy inset, or an inscription of an inside joke between the two of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge financial costs if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Getting down to brass tacks: it costs money to be a groomsman. Tux rental alone can be expensive, not to mention peripheral costs like a wedding gift, travel costs, and a potential bachelor party. In situations where you know cost may be a factor regarding someone’s ability to be your groomsman, don’t ignore the issue.\\nIf you have a friend that may not be able to afford being your groomsman but you’d like them to be, considering covering the cost yourself.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,483 | How to Ask Someone to Be Your Study Buddy | 1. Approaching Your Potential Study Buddy
1-1. Chat them up during a time when they don’t look busy.
A simple way to begin conversation is by mentioning something that interested you during class. Introduce yourself and tell them what you’re studying or would like to study. Then you can ask them the same.
You don’t have to ask them to be your study buddy right away. Take some time to get to know them first. That way, you’ll know if your personalities are a match.
Take interest in what they have to say, make eye contact, and pay attention. This will show them that you are interested in what they have to say. You’ll learn whether or not their personality and interests will complement yours.
1-2. See if they’d like to hang out after you’ve gotten to know them a bit.
A good idea is to ask them to join you for lunch or a recreational activity you already had planned. This is a great opportunity to experience their personality, to ask them more questions, and learn about their interests and motivations.
1-3. Ask them if they’d like to study for exams together.
This is a good no-pressure way to test whether they’d be a good study buddy for you, before permanently committing to it. It’s also a good way to test whether or not they are properly motivated or prone to distraction.
2. Finding a Good Potential Study Buddy
2-1. Look for a study buddy in your go-to study spots.
If there’s a particular place you like to study (cafe, library, etc.), keep an eye out for others who often study there as well. There’s a good chance that they have a schedule similar to yours, and they are likely to feel comfortable studying in the same environment.
2-2. Put out a public request for a study buddy.
You may have people in your immediate social network who are also looking for a study buddy but haven’t spoken up. They may even be people that you already know well and feel comfortable around. Use all available resources:
Post a call for a study buddy on a bulletin board in a public building (classroom buildings, libraries, community centers, etc.).
Post a request for a study buddy on social media.
Send a request for a study buddy to a class or departmental email list. This is a good way--especially for an introvert--to gauge people’s interest in obtaining a study buddy. It’s also an efficient way to find someone with similar academic interests.
2-3. Ask a teacher.
An attentive teacher will have a good feel for other students’ strengths and weaknesses. They will know which other students share your interests and have the same level of motivation. Ask them for a recommendation.
2-4. Reflect on your goals.
Ask yourself what kind of study buddy might be good for you, what kind of person you would like to study with, and where you would like to study.
Make note of your strengths and weaknesses. Know what kind of help you can contribute and what kind of help you want to receive. A good study buddy will give help, as well as seek it.
2-5. Observe your classmates.
If there’s a particular classmate of yours that asks interesting questions, makes comments that intrigue you, or you already know you work well with, consider approaching them. Chances are, they have the same interests as you.
Also observe those who are in the same school clubs as you are or are interested in the same extra-curricular activities.
While you and your study buddy don’t necessarily have to have the same level of intelligence, you should share a similar level of commitment and get along well. Remember, your energies will influence each other’s work habits.
3. Nailing Down the Details
3-1. Find out more about their study habits.
Once you’ve hung out a couple of times, and you think you get along, you can begin asking questions to help you figure out whether they have the skills you’re looking for in a study buddy. Try some of the following questions:
”Do you think you work best alone or with others?"
"Do you struggle with any subjects? Are you really good at any subjects?”
3-2. Ask more serious questions about their motivations and schedule.
At this point, you will be able to more comfortably share information and ask direct questions. You want to get a good feel for if they’re a practical fit for you. Try asking them some of these questions:
”Are there places where you work better than others? Are there any places you absolutely wouldn’t study?”
”Are you easily distracted while studying?”
”Do you like to take a lot of breaks?”
”Do you have any major time commitments that get in the way of studying?”
3-3. Ask them if they’d be interested in being your regular study buddy.
The best way to ask someone for something is to be clear and direct about what you want. That way, they will know you’re sincere. They’re likely to be flattered as well. People usually feel complimented and excited--not burdened--when they’re asked for assistance.
An example could be: “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you lately, and it seems like we really get along and have a lot in common. I’ve been looking for a study buddy recently. Would you be interested in being my study buddy?”
3-4. Discuss what you both need from each other and what you can give.
Tell them about your expectations: what kind of help you may need from them, what kind of environments you like to study in, and your level of motivation. But also tell them what you can bring to the table!
3-5. Be prepared for their answer.
Don’t be offended if they turn you down. Not everyone will be a great study buddy for someone else, regardless of strengths. If they say no, simply thank them for considering it and move to your next possibility. If nothing else, you’ve made a new friend!
Tips
Don’t be discouraged if your study buddy turns out to be less than helpful. You may be doing both of you a favor by breaking it off and remaining just friends.
if you find a good study buddy, see if incorporating more people into your study circle helps you even more.
Warnings
You may be tempted to choose somebody who’s already a close friend as a study buddy, but they may provide more of a distraction than a helping hand.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Approaching Your Potential Study Buddy\\n1-1. Chat them up during a time when they don’t look busy.\\nA simple way to begin conversation is by mentioning something that interested you during class. Introduce yourself and tell them what you’re studying or would like to study. Then you can ask them the same.\\nYou don’t have to ask them to be your study buddy right away. Take some time to get to know them first. That way, you’ll know if your personalities are a match.\\nTake interest in what they have to say, make eye contact, and pay attention. This will show them that you are interested in what they have to say. You’ll learn whether or not their personality and interests will complement yours.\\n1-2. See if they’d like to hang out after you’ve gotten to know them a bit.\\nA good idea is to ask them to join you for lunch or a recreational activity you already had planned. This is a great opportunity to experience their personality, to ask them more questions, and learn about their interests and motivations.\\n1-3. Ask them if they’d like to study for exams together.\\nThis is a good no-pressure way to test whether they’d be a good study buddy for you, before permanently committing to it. It’s also a good way to test whether or not they are properly motivated or prone to distraction.\\n2. Finding a Good Potential Study Buddy\\n2-1. Look for a study buddy in your go-to study spots.\\nIf there’s a particular place you like to study (cafe, library, etc.), keep an eye out for others who often study there as well. There’s a good chance that they have a schedule similar to yours, and they are likely to feel comfortable studying in the same environment.\\n2-2. Put out a public request for a study buddy.\\nYou may have people in your immediate social network who are also looking for a study buddy but haven’t spoken up. They may even be people that you already know well and feel comfortable around. Use all available resources:\\nPost a call for a study buddy on a bulletin board in a public building (classroom buildings, libraries, community centers, etc.).\\nPost a request for a study buddy on social media.\\nSend a request for a study buddy to a class or departmental email list. This is a good way--especially for an introvert--to gauge people’s interest in obtaining a study buddy. It’s also an efficient way to find someone with similar academic interests.\\n2-3. Ask a teacher.\\nAn attentive teacher will have a good feel for other students’ strengths and weaknesses. They will know which other students share your interests and have the same level of motivation. Ask them for a recommendation.\\n2-4. Reflect on your goals.\\nAsk yourself what kind of study buddy might be good for you, what kind of person you would like to study with, and where you would like to study.\\nMake note of your strengths and weaknesses. Know what kind of help you can contribute and what kind of help you want to receive. A good study buddy will give help, as well as seek it.\\n2-5. Observe your classmates.\\nIf there’s a particular classmate of yours that asks interesting questions, makes comments that intrigue you, or you already know you work well with, consider approaching them. Chances are, they have the same interests as you.\\nAlso observe those who are in the same school clubs as you are or are interested in the same extra-curricular activities.\\nWhile you and your study buddy don’t necessarily have to have the same level of intelligence, you should share a similar level of commitment and get along well. Remember, your energies will influence each other’s work habits.\\n3. Nailing Down the Details\\n3-1. Find out more about their study habits.\\nOnce you’ve hung out a couple of times, and you think you get along, you can begin asking questions to help you figure out whether they have the skills you’re looking for in a study buddy. Try some of the following questions:\\n”Do you think you work best alone or with others?\\\"\\n\\\"Do you struggle with any subjects? Are you really good at any subjects?”\\n3-2. Ask more serious questions about their motivations and schedule.\\nAt this point, you will be able to more comfortably share information and ask direct questions. You want to get a good feel for if they’re a practical fit for you. Try asking them some of these questions:\\n”Are there places where you work better than others? Are there any places you absolutely wouldn’t study?”\\n”Are you easily distracted while studying?”\\n”Do you like to take a lot of breaks?”\\n”Do you have any major time commitments that get in the way of studying?”\\n3-3. Ask them if they’d be interested in being your regular study buddy.\\nThe best way to ask someone for something is to be clear and direct about what you want. That way, they will know you’re sincere. They’re likely to be flattered as well. People usually feel complimented and excited--not burdened--when they’re asked for assistance.\\nAn example could be: “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you lately, and it seems like we really get along and have a lot in common. I’ve been looking for a study buddy recently. Would you be interested in being my study buddy?”\\n3-4. Discuss what you both need from each other and what you can give.\\nTell them about your expectations: what kind of help you may need from them, what kind of environments you like to study in, and your level of motivation. But also tell them what you can bring to the table!\\n3-5. Be prepared for their answer.\\nDon’t be offended if they turn you down. Not everyone will be a great study buddy for someone else, regardless of strengths. If they say no, simply thank them for considering it and move to your next possibility. If nothing else, you’ve made a new friend!\\nTips\\nDon’t be discouraged if your study buddy turns out to be less than helpful. You may be doing both of you a favor by breaking it off and remaining just friends.\\nif you find a good study buddy, see if incorporating more people into your study circle helps you even more.\\nWarnings\\nYou may be tempted to choose somebody who’s already a close friend as a study buddy, but they may provide more of a distraction than a helping hand.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Studying alone can lead to boredom, distraction, and no one to turn to when you’re stuck. But the right study buddy can enliven your study sessions. It can be intimidating to ask someone to be your study buddy, but chances are there’s someone else out there who is looking for the same help studying you are. By knowing what you’re looking for, where to seek potential candidates, and how to ask the right questions, you can find the perfect study buddy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approaching Your Potential Study Buddy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Chat them up during a time when they don’t look busy.\", \"描述\": \"A simple way to begin conversation is by mentioning something that interested you during class. Introduce yourself and tell them what you’re studying or would like to study. Then you can ask them the same.\\nYou don’t have to ask them to be your study buddy right away. Take some time to get to know them first. That way, you’ll know if your personalities are a match.\\nTake interest in what they have to say, make eye contact, and pay attention. This will show them that you are interested in what they have to say. You’ll learn whether or not their personality and interests will complement yours.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"See if they’d like to hang out after you’ve gotten to know them a bit.\", \"描述\": \"A good idea is to ask them to join you for lunch or a recreational activity you already had planned. This is a great opportunity to experience their personality, to ask them more questions, and learn about their interests and motivations.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask them if they’d like to study for exams together.\", \"描述\": \"This is a good no-pressure way to test whether they’d be a good study buddy for you, before permanently committing to it. It’s also a good way to test whether or not they are properly motivated or prone to distraction.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding a Good Potential Study Buddy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for a study buddy in your go-to study spots.\", \"描述\": \"If there’s a particular place you like to study (cafe, library, etc.), keep an eye out for others who often study there as well. There’s a good chance that they have a schedule similar to yours, and they are likely to feel comfortable studying in the same environment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put out a public request for a study buddy.\", \"描述\": \"You may have people in your immediate social network who are also looking for a study buddy but haven’t spoken up. They may even be people that you already know well and feel comfortable around. Use all available resources:\\nPost a call for a study buddy on a bulletin board in a public building (classroom buildings, libraries, community centers, etc.).\\nPost a request for a study buddy on social media.\\nSend a request for a study buddy to a class or departmental email list. This is a good way--especially for an introvert--to gauge people’s interest in obtaining a study buddy. It’s also an efficient way to find someone with similar academic interests.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask a teacher.\", \"描述\": \"An attentive teacher will have a good feel for other students’ strengths and weaknesses. They will know which other students share your interests and have the same level of motivation. Ask them for a recommendation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reflect on your goals.\", \"描述\": \"Ask yourself what kind of study buddy might be good for you, what kind of person you would like to study with, and where you would like to study.\\nMake note of your strengths and weaknesses. Know what kind of help you can contribute and what kind of help you want to receive. A good study buddy will give help, as well as seek it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Observe your classmates.\", \"描述\": \"If there’s a particular classmate of yours that asks interesting questions, makes comments that intrigue you, or you already know you work well with, consider approaching them. Chances are, they have the same interests as you.\\nAlso observe those who are in the same school clubs as you are or are interested in the same extra-curricular activities.\\nWhile you and your study buddy don’t necessarily have to have the same level of intelligence, you should share a similar level of commitment and get along well. Remember, your energies will influence each other’s work habits.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Nailing Down the Details\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out more about their study habits.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve hung out a couple of times, and you think you get along, you can begin asking questions to help you figure out whether they have the skills you’re looking for in a study buddy. Try some of the following questions:\\n”Do you think you work best alone or with others?\\\"\\n\\\"Do you struggle with any subjects? Are you really good at any subjects?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask more serious questions about their motivations and schedule.\", \"描述\": \"At this point, you will be able to more comfortably share information and ask direct questions. You want to get a good feel for if they’re a practical fit for you. Try asking them some of these questions:\\n”Are there places where you work better than others? Are there any places you absolutely wouldn’t study?”\\n”Are you easily distracted while studying?”\\n”Do you like to take a lot of breaks?”\\n”Do you have any major time commitments that get in the way of studying?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask them if they’d be interested in being your regular study buddy.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to ask someone for something is to be clear and direct about what you want. That way, they will know you’re sincere. They’re likely to be flattered as well. People usually feel complimented and excited--not burdened--when they’re asked for assistance.\\nAn example could be: “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you lately, and it seems like we really get along and have a lot in common. I’ve been looking for a study buddy recently. Would you be interested in being my study buddy?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Discuss what you both need from each other and what you can give.\", \"描述\": \"Tell them about your expectations: what kind of help you may need from them, what kind of environments you like to study in, and your level of motivation. But also tell them what you can bring to the table!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for their answer.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be offended if they turn you down. Not everyone will be a great study buddy for someone else, regardless of strengths. If they say no, simply thank them for considering it and move to your next possibility. If nothing else, you’ve made a new friend!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t be discouraged if your study buddy turns out to be less than helpful. You may be doing both of you a favor by breaking it off and remaining just friends.\\n\", \"if you find a good study buddy, see if incorporating more people into your study circle helps you even more.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"You may be tempted to choose somebody who’s already a close friend as a study buddy, but they may provide more of a distraction than a helping hand.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,484 | How to Ask Someone to Hang Out | 1. Offering a General Invite for the Future
1-1. Ask in a casual way.
If you have been planning to ask them for a while, don’t come on too strong. Keep yourself calm so that when you ask them to hang out it doesn’t come across as desperate or pushy. Take a breath and use your regular conversational tone.
You’ll sound too eager if you say, “You are so cool and I really want to spend more time with you.”
Be casual when you ask a classmate by saying, “Man, everytime we talk, this guy is droning on in the background. We should chill outside of class sometime.”
If you had fun with someone at a party, say, “It’s been a great meeting, do you want to catch up later on sometime?”
1-2. Use a specific common interest as a reason to hang out.
You may have a hard time asking someone to hang out without a specific reason. If you’re asking someone you know you have a common interest with, use that to your advantage. Tell them it would be fun to do the activity together sometime.
If you always talk to a coworker about the Walking Dead, ask them if they want to come over and watch it with you. You know you’re both free when it’s on, and the hangout has a set time frame so they can split when it’s over.
You might meet someone that works out at your gym. Since you are probably there around the same time, ask them if they’d want to work out together. Say, “We could both have a spotter and push each other to work harder.”
Say to someone, “I’ve noticed we always seem to be painting in this studio at the same time, would you want to meet up and actually paint together sometime?”
1-3. Be confident that they will say yes.
It’s no good to ask someone to hang out if you tell yourself they won’t want to. Get in the mindset that you are fun to hang out with and that the person you ask will say yes. If you are confident in yourself and make a direct ask, the person will be more open than if you seem timid when you ask.
Don’t say, “You’re probably busy most of the time and have a lot of other friends already, but we could hang out sometime if you want to it. It’s okay if you would rather not.”
For an example, think about a co-worker you’d like to hang out with. Catch them in the break room and say, “We should find something cool to do outside of this place sometime.” It’s simple, shows your interest, and leaves things open to developing.
If you’re in a weekly club with someone, say, “You know, we meet up here every week. Let’s grab some food after the meeting sometime.” Again, it’s direct and shows that you are assuming they would be interested.
2. Suggesting a Specific Time to Hang Out
2-1. Tell the person some times that work for you.
When you ask someone to hang out, make sure you have a few times in mind when you know you’re free. Think of three dates within the next two weeks that you’d want to do something. Offer those dates to the person and ask if they are free during any of those times.
If you ask them to hang at an unspecified time in the future, it’s less likely to happen. If you give them three dates, there’s a decent chance they’ll be able to say yes to one of them.
You might have one night a week that you always keep open in case something comes up. Tell them you’re usually free on Tuesday nights and ask if next Tuesday would work.
For example, “I’m looking for something to do in the next couple of Saturdays, would you want to hit the shops downtown and then get some lunch?”
2-2. Invite them to an event that is coming up.
If you already have a party or get together planned, even if you aren’t hosting it, invite the person to come to the event. Since it is happening at one specific time, if they aren’t able to attend, they are only turning down the event and not you. This is also less pressure than a one-on-one hang out.
If you are having a Super Bowl party, invite them to join you. It’s a common event, it’s set at a specific time, and there will be plenty of people to interact with.
Maybe you don’t have anything specific that’s coming up. Plan something with a group of friends for the purpose of inviting the person you want to get to know.
It doesn’t have to be a private event. Ask the person if they want to go to the town festival and walk around together. They would probably go anyway, and it’s a laid back, public event.
2-3. Make plans for the following weekend.
Throughout the week, people may have set schedules, but they are often more open on weekends. If you typically only see people in a weekday environment, ask them to do something over the weekend. This gives you morning, afternoon, and night times to work with.
Weekends are good because people are often more open to late nights on Friday and Saturday, and they may have more free time during the day on Saturday and Sunday.
Weekends also offer more events like community theater, farmer’s markets and festivals, concerts, and parties.
Say, “After this long week, I need to blow off some steam this weekend. Would you want to hit up the shooting range on Friday after work?"
3. Being Spontaneous
3-1. Ask them to go to an upcoming meal.
If you are at work or getting out of class around lunch time, ask the person if they want to eat lunch together. If you both packed your lunch, you could sit and eat together. Otherwise, ask the person if they want to go out for lunch together. This works because you both need to eat and it’s a low-pressure way to hang out.
It doesn’t have to be an immediate meal. Ask someone to grab dinner when you get off work or meet up in a few hours when you finish what you’re doing.
If you leave a party late at night, ask if they want to grab some late night food at a nearby diner.
3-2. Transition from class or a meeting into hanging out.
If you’re with the person at work, a club meeting, or class, ask them if they want to do something when the engagement is over. Ask them while you’re in the meeting if they want to hang out afterward, or ask them right when it is over if they want to go do something.
They may have things going on back to back, but a lot of times people will be free when a scheduled event has ended. Take advantage of this gap in their schedule.
Say, “I’ve got a couple of hours to kill when the class is over, do you want to go walk around the quad?” This is a simple way to hang out and it’s a low-pressure ask since it’s spur of the moment.
When you’re heading out the door after work or an organization meeting, say, “I’m going over to Poor Richard’s to grab a drink. Do you want to come hang out?” Getting a drink after work is common, so this type of question will seem normal to them.
3-3. Invite someone to go wherever you’re going.
Anytime you’re about to do something and you see someone you want to hang out with, ask them to join you. Since you are going to do it no matter what they say, it’s not a big deal if they turn you down. If it’s a person you see every day, you have unlimited options of what to invite them to.
This works when you are on your way out of the dorm to see a movie, leaving your apartment complex to go for a hike, or leaving the office to play ultimate frisbee.
Get in the habit of inviting people to come along with you wherever you are going. After a while, they will get used to you asking and eventually they will say yes and join you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Offering a General Invite for the Future\\n1-1. Ask in a casual way.\\nIf you have been planning to ask them for a while, don’t come on too strong. Keep yourself calm so that when you ask them to hang out it doesn’t come across as desperate or pushy. Take a breath and use your regular conversational tone.\\nYou’ll sound too eager if you say, “You are so cool and I really want to spend more time with you.”\\nBe casual when you ask a classmate by saying, “Man, everytime we talk, this guy is droning on in the background. We should chill outside of class sometime.”\\nIf you had fun with someone at a party, say, “It’s been a great meeting, do you want to catch up later on sometime?”\\n1-2. Use a specific common interest as a reason to hang out.\\nYou may have a hard time asking someone to hang out without a specific reason. If you’re asking someone you know you have a common interest with, use that to your advantage. Tell them it would be fun to do the activity together sometime.\\nIf you always talk to a coworker about the Walking Dead, ask them if they want to come over and watch it with you. You know you’re both free when it’s on, and the hangout has a set time frame so they can split when it’s over.\\nYou might meet someone that works out at your gym. Since you are probably there around the same time, ask them if they’d want to work out together. Say, “We could both have a spotter and push each other to work harder.”\\nSay to someone, “I’ve noticed we always seem to be painting in this studio at the same time, would you want to meet up and actually paint together sometime?”\\n1-3. Be confident that they will say yes.\\nIt’s no good to ask someone to hang out if you tell yourself they won’t want to. Get in the mindset that you are fun to hang out with and that the person you ask will say yes. If you are confident in yourself and make a direct ask, the person will be more open than if you seem timid when you ask.\\nDon’t say, “You’re probably busy most of the time and have a lot of other friends already, but we could hang out sometime if you want to it. It’s okay if you would rather not.”\\nFor an example, think about a co-worker you’d like to hang out with. Catch them in the break room and say, “We should find something cool to do outside of this place sometime.” It’s simple, shows your interest, and leaves things open to developing.\\nIf you’re in a weekly club with someone, say, “You know, we meet up here every week. Let’s grab some food after the meeting sometime.” Again, it’s direct and shows that you are assuming they would be interested.\\n2. Suggesting a Specific Time to Hang Out\\n2-1. Tell the person some times that work for you.\\nWhen you ask someone to hang out, make sure you have a few times in mind when you know you’re free. Think of three dates within the next two weeks that you’d want to do something. Offer those dates to the person and ask if they are free during any of those times. \\nIf you ask them to hang at an unspecified time in the future, it’s less likely to happen. If you give them three dates, there’s a decent chance they’ll be able to say yes to one of them.\\nYou might have one night a week that you always keep open in case something comes up. Tell them you’re usually free on Tuesday nights and ask if next Tuesday would work.\\nFor example, “I’m looking for something to do in the next couple of Saturdays, would you want to hit the shops downtown and then get some lunch?”\\n2-2. Invite them to an event that is coming up.\\nIf you already have a party or get together planned, even if you aren’t hosting it, invite the person to come to the event. Since it is happening at one specific time, if they aren’t able to attend, they are only turning down the event and not you. This is also less pressure than a one-on-one hang out.\\nIf you are having a Super Bowl party, invite them to join you. It’s a common event, it’s set at a specific time, and there will be plenty of people to interact with.\\nMaybe you don’t have anything specific that’s coming up. Plan something with a group of friends for the purpose of inviting the person you want to get to know.\\nIt doesn’t have to be a private event. Ask the person if they want to go to the town festival and walk around together. They would probably go anyway, and it’s a laid back, public event.\\n2-3. Make plans for the following weekend.\\nThroughout the week, people may have set schedules, but they are often more open on weekends. If you typically only see people in a weekday environment, ask them to do something over the weekend. This gives you morning, afternoon, and night times to work with.\\nWeekends are good because people are often more open to late nights on Friday and Saturday, and they may have more free time during the day on Saturday and Sunday.\\nWeekends also offer more events like community theater, farmer’s markets and festivals, concerts, and parties.\\nSay, “After this long week, I need to blow off some steam this weekend. Would you want to hit up the shooting range on Friday after work?\\\"\\n3. Being Spontaneous\\n3-1. Ask them to go to an upcoming meal.\\nIf you are at work or getting out of class around lunch time, ask the person if they want to eat lunch together. If you both packed your lunch, you could sit and eat together. Otherwise, ask the person if they want to go out for lunch together. This works because you both need to eat and it’s a low-pressure way to hang out.\\nIt doesn’t have to be an immediate meal. Ask someone to grab dinner when you get off work or meet up in a few hours when you finish what you’re doing.\\nIf you leave a party late at night, ask if they want to grab some late night food at a nearby diner.\\n3-2. Transition from class or a meeting into hanging out.\\nIf you’re with the person at work, a club meeting, or class, ask them if they want to do something when the engagement is over. Ask them while you’re in the meeting if they want to hang out afterward, or ask them right when it is over if they want to go do something.\\nThey may have things going on back to back, but a lot of times people will be free when a scheduled event has ended. Take advantage of this gap in their schedule.\\nSay, “I’ve got a couple of hours to kill when the class is over, do you want to go walk around the quad?” This is a simple way to hang out and it’s a low-pressure ask since it’s spur of the moment.\\nWhen you’re heading out the door after work or an organization meeting, say, “I’m going over to Poor Richard’s to grab a drink. Do you want to come hang out?” Getting a drink after work is common, so this type of question will seem normal to them.\\n3-3. Invite someone to go wherever you’re going.\\nAnytime you’re about to do something and you see someone you want to hang out with, ask them to join you. Since you are going to do it no matter what they say, it’s not a big deal if they turn you down. If it’s a person you see every day, you have unlimited options of what to invite them to.\\nThis works when you are on your way out of the dorm to see a movie, leaving your apartment complex to go for a hike, or leaving the office to play ultimate frisbee.\\nGet in the habit of inviting people to come along with you wherever you are going. After a while, they will get used to you asking and eventually they will say yes and join you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking someone to hang out can feel like a big step at the start of a new friendship. It may be a classmate, a coworker, or someone you met at a party. Even though it feels scary at first, asking someone to hang out doesn’t have to be stressful. Let someone know that you’d like to hang out sometime in the future, or ask them to hang out at a specific event. Be bold by inviting someone to join you on a spontaneous outing.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offering a General Invite for the Future\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask in a casual way.\", \"描述\": \"If you have been planning to ask them for a while, don’t come on too strong. Keep yourself calm so that when you ask them to hang out it doesn’t come across as desperate or pushy. Take a breath and use your regular conversational tone.\\nYou’ll sound too eager if you say, “You are so cool and I really want to spend more time with you.”\\nBe casual when you ask a classmate by saying, “Man, everytime we talk, this guy is droning on in the background. We should chill outside of class sometime.”\\nIf you had fun with someone at a party, say, “It’s been a great meeting, do you want to catch up later on sometime?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a specific common interest as a reason to hang out.\", \"描述\": \"You may have a hard time asking someone to hang out without a specific reason. If you’re asking someone you know you have a common interest with, use that to your advantage. Tell them it would be fun to do the activity together sometime.\\nIf you always talk to a coworker about the Walking Dead, ask them if they want to come over and watch it with you. You know you’re both free when it’s on, and the hangout has a set time frame so they can split when it’s over.\\nYou might meet someone that works out at your gym. Since you are probably there around the same time, ask them if they’d want to work out together. Say, “We could both have a spotter and push each other to work harder.”\\nSay to someone, “I’ve noticed we always seem to be painting in this studio at the same time, would you want to meet up and actually paint together sometime?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be confident that they will say yes.\", \"描述\": \"It’s no good to ask someone to hang out if you tell yourself they won’t want to. Get in the mindset that you are fun to hang out with and that the person you ask will say yes. If you are confident in yourself and make a direct ask, the person will be more open than if you seem timid when you ask.\\nDon’t say, “You’re probably busy most of the time and have a lot of other friends already, but we could hang out sometime if you want to it. It’s okay if you would rather not.”\\nFor an example, think about a co-worker you’d like to hang out with. Catch them in the break room and say, “We should find something cool to do outside of this place sometime.” It’s simple, shows your interest, and leaves things open to developing.\\nIf you’re in a weekly club with someone, say, “You know, we meet up here every week. Let’s grab some food after the meeting sometime.” Again, it’s direct and shows that you are assuming they would be interested.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Suggesting a Specific Time to Hang Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell the person some times that work for you.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask someone to hang out, make sure you have a few times in mind when you know you’re free. Think of three dates within the next two weeks that you’d want to do something. Offer those dates to the person and ask if they are free during any of those times. \\nIf you ask them to hang at an unspecified time in the future, it’s less likely to happen. If you give them three dates, there’s a decent chance they’ll be able to say yes to one of them.\\nYou might have one night a week that you always keep open in case something comes up. Tell them you’re usually free on Tuesday nights and ask if next Tuesday would work.\\nFor example, “I’m looking for something to do in the next couple of Saturdays, would you want to hit the shops downtown and then get some lunch?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invite them to an event that is coming up.\", \"描述\": \"If you already have a party or get together planned, even if you aren’t hosting it, invite the person to come to the event. Since it is happening at one specific time, if they aren’t able to attend, they are only turning down the event and not you. This is also less pressure than a one-on-one hang out.\\nIf you are having a Super Bowl party, invite them to join you. It’s a common event, it’s set at a specific time, and there will be plenty of people to interact with.\\nMaybe you don’t have anything specific that’s coming up. Plan something with a group of friends for the purpose of inviting the person you want to get to know.\\nIt doesn’t have to be a private event. Ask the person if they want to go to the town festival and walk around together. They would probably go anyway, and it’s a laid back, public event.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make plans for the following weekend.\", \"描述\": \"Throughout the week, people may have set schedules, but they are often more open on weekends. If you typically only see people in a weekday environment, ask them to do something over the weekend. This gives you morning, afternoon, and night times to work with.\\nWeekends are good because people are often more open to late nights on Friday and Saturday, and they may have more free time during the day on Saturday and Sunday.\\nWeekends also offer more events like community theater, farmer’s markets and festivals, concerts, and parties.\\nSay, “After this long week, I need to blow off some steam this weekend. Would you want to hit up the shooting range on Friday after work?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Spontaneous\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask them to go to an upcoming meal.\", \"描述\": \"If you are at work or getting out of class around lunch time, ask the person if they want to eat lunch together. If you both packed your lunch, you could sit and eat together. Otherwise, ask the person if they want to go out for lunch together. This works because you both need to eat and it’s a low-pressure way to hang out.\\nIt doesn’t have to be an immediate meal. Ask someone to grab dinner when you get off work or meet up in a few hours when you finish what you’re doing.\\nIf you leave a party late at night, ask if they want to grab some late night food at a nearby diner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Transition from class or a meeting into hanging out.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re with the person at work, a club meeting, or class, ask them if they want to do something when the engagement is over. Ask them while you’re in the meeting if they want to hang out afterward, or ask them right when it is over if they want to go do something.\\nThey may have things going on back to back, but a lot of times people will be free when a scheduled event has ended. Take advantage of this gap in their schedule.\\nSay, “I’ve got a couple of hours to kill when the class is over, do you want to go walk around the quad?” This is a simple way to hang out and it’s a low-pressure ask since it’s spur of the moment.\\nWhen you’re heading out the door after work or an organization meeting, say, “I’m going over to Poor Richard’s to grab a drink. Do you want to come hang out?” Getting a drink after work is common, so this type of question will seem normal to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Invite someone to go wherever you’re going.\", \"描述\": \"Anytime you’re about to do something and you see someone you want to hang out with, ask them to join you. Since you are going to do it no matter what they say, it’s not a big deal if they turn you down. If it’s a person you see every day, you have unlimited options of what to invite them to.\\nThis works when you are on your way out of the dorm to see a movie, leaving your apartment complex to go for a hike, or leaving the office to play ultimate frisbee.\\nGet in the habit of inviting people to come along with you wherever you are going. After a while, they will get used to you asking and eventually they will say yes and join you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,485 | 10 Flirty Ways to Ask Someone to Hold Hands | 1. Wait until you’re in a private place.
Some people aren’t comfortable holding hands until they’re alone.
If you’ve never held hands with this person before, don’t try it in a public place. Instead, wait until you’re by yourselves or in a more secluded area.
For instance, if you were in a coffee shop, wait until you’re taking a stroll through the park to make the hand-holding move.
2. Test the waters with a high-five.
Let them know that you’re okay having your hand touched.
If the person you’re with celebrates an accomplishment or says something cool, offer them a high-five. Afterwards, let your hand linger for just a few seconds to give them a subtle message.
This is a good way to test the waters and get a read on their body language. If they also let their hand linger and didn’t pull away immediately, it’s a good sign!
3. Place your hand next to theirs.
It might encourage them to reach out and grab your hand.
Get your hand as close to theirs as you can without actually touching. If you’re sitting at a table, place your hand on top of the table next to theirs. If you’re sitting side by side, place your hand down by your lap so it almost touches theirs. If they’re feeling bold, they might even reach out and grab your hand first.
This is a super subtle way to ask someone to hold hands. If your date isn’t picking up on it, don’t worry! They probably just missed your clue.
If you're worried about having sweaty palms, just wipe your hand on your pants before you put your hand near theirs.
4. Bump your hand against theirs.
You can do this while you walk and talk.
Swing your arms back and forth and “accidentally” brush your hand against theirs. Or, if you’re sitting down, place your hand on the table but brush your hand against theirs first.
If they “accidentally” brush your hand with theirs, try not to flinch! They might be trying to send a signal right back at you.
5. Ask them to hold hands if you want to be direct.
It’s the best way to make sure your date wants to hold hands.
If you can’t quite read their body language or you’re worried that you’re overstepping your boundaries, just ask! If they say yes, you can confidently take their hand and hold it for as long as you’d like.
You might say, “Is it okay if I hold your hand?”
Or, “Will you hold my hand?”
Or, “Would you like to hold hands?”
If they say no, that’s fine, too. They might not be comfortable with physical touch, or they might want to get to know you a little more before holding hands.
6. Tell them your hand feels cold.
Then, ask them to feel it for you.
This is a cute and flirty way to get someone to hold your hand. If they feel your hand and say that it does feel cold, ask them to warm it up for you by hanging onto it.
This is a great hack to use during the chilly winter months.
You could say something like, “Brr, my hands are super cold! Here, feel.”
Or, “My hands are super chilly. Could you warm them up for me?”
7. Challenge them to a thumb wrestling match.
Get up close and personal with their hand as you wrestle.
A thumb wrestling match is another great way to break the touch-barrier—plus, adding a little competition into your time together can enhance the flirty fun you’re having.
After you’re done thumb wrestling, just keep your hand nestled in theirs. If they don’t pull away, you can keep holding hands.
8. Ask if you can read their palm.
Palm reading is a flirty and fun way to touch hands.
Grab their hand and check out the lines in their palm. If you know how to read palms, tell them what’s going to happen in their future! If you don’t know how to read palms, you can just make something up.
You could even turn this into an opportunity to ask about holding hands. As you trace a line down their palm, say something like, “In your future, I see you holding hands with your cute date.”
9. Compare the size of your hands.
Get your date to hold their hands against yours.
Depending on the size difference, you could say “Wow, my hands are so much smaller/bigger than yours! Let me see.” Then, grab their hand and put it over your own.
You can smoothly turn this into hand holding by saying something like, “They still fit together pretty good, though” as you slide your fingers into theirs.
10. Pull them somewhere by their hand.
Tell them you’ve got to show them something right now!
If they’re hesitant or a little slow, grab their hand and lead them along behind you. When you get to your destination (a cool plant, a fun store window, a cute dog), just keep your hands together.
You could make a joke out of it by saying, “Well, I guess we have to keep holding hands now.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Wait until you’re in a private place.\\nSome people aren’t comfortable holding hands until they’re alone.\\nIf you’ve never held hands with this person before, don’t try it in a public place. Instead, wait until you’re by yourselves or in a more secluded area.\\nFor instance, if you were in a coffee shop, wait until you’re taking a stroll through the park to make the hand-holding move.\\n2. Test the waters with a high-five.\\nLet them know that you’re okay having your hand touched.\\nIf the person you’re with celebrates an accomplishment or says something cool, offer them a high-five. Afterwards, let your hand linger for just a few seconds to give them a subtle message.\\nThis is a good way to test the waters and get a read on their body language. If they also let their hand linger and didn’t pull away immediately, it’s a good sign!\\n3. Place your hand next to theirs.\\nIt might encourage them to reach out and grab your hand.\\nGet your hand as close to theirs as you can without actually touching. If you’re sitting at a table, place your hand on top of the table next to theirs. If you’re sitting side by side, place your hand down by your lap so it almost touches theirs. If they’re feeling bold, they might even reach out and grab your hand first.\\nThis is a super subtle way to ask someone to hold hands. If your date isn’t picking up on it, don’t worry! They probably just missed your clue.\\nIf you're worried about having sweaty palms, just wipe your hand on your pants before you put your hand near theirs.\\n4. Bump your hand against theirs.\\nYou can do this while you walk and talk.\\nSwing your arms back and forth and “accidentally” brush your hand against theirs. Or, if you’re sitting down, place your hand on the table but brush your hand against theirs first.\\nIf they “accidentally” brush your hand with theirs, try not to flinch! They might be trying to send a signal right back at you.\\n5. Ask them to hold hands if you want to be direct.\\nIt’s the best way to make sure your date wants to hold hands.\\nIf you can’t quite read their body language or you’re worried that you’re overstepping your boundaries, just ask! If they say yes, you can confidently take their hand and hold it for as long as you’d like.\\nYou might say, “Is it okay if I hold your hand?”\\nOr, “Will you hold my hand?”\\nOr, “Would you like to hold hands?”\\nIf they say no, that’s fine, too. They might not be comfortable with physical touch, or they might want to get to know you a little more before holding hands.\\n6. Tell them your hand feels cold.\\nThen, ask them to feel it for you.\\nThis is a cute and flirty way to get someone to hold your hand. If they feel your hand and say that it does feel cold, ask them to warm it up for you by hanging onto it.\\nThis is a great hack to use during the chilly winter months.\\nYou could say something like, “Brr, my hands are super cold! Here, feel.”\\nOr, “My hands are super chilly. Could you warm them up for me?”\\n7. Challenge them to a thumb wrestling match.\\nGet up close and personal with their hand as you wrestle.\\nA thumb wrestling match is another great way to break the touch-barrier—plus, adding a little competition into your time together can enhance the flirty fun you’re having.\\nAfter you’re done thumb wrestling, just keep your hand nestled in theirs. If they don’t pull away, you can keep holding hands.\\n8. Ask if you can read their palm.\\nPalm reading is a flirty and fun way to touch hands.\\nGrab their hand and check out the lines in their palm. If you know how to read palms, tell them what’s going to happen in their future! If you don’t know how to read palms, you can just make something up.\\nYou could even turn this into an opportunity to ask about holding hands. As you trace a line down their palm, say something like, “In your future, I see you holding hands with your cute date.”\\n9. Compare the size of your hands.\\nGet your date to hold their hands against yours.\\nDepending on the size difference, you could say “Wow, my hands are so much smaller/bigger than yours! Let me see.” Then, grab their hand and put it over your own.\\nYou can smoothly turn this into hand holding by saying something like, “They still fit together pretty good, though” as you slide your fingers into theirs.\\n10. Pull them somewhere by their hand.\\nTell them you’ve got to show them something right now!\\nIf they’re hesitant or a little slow, grab their hand and lead them along behind you. When you get to your destination (a cool plant, a fun store window, a cute dog), just keep your hands together.\\nYou could make a joke out of it by saying, “Well, I guess we have to keep holding hands now.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re out on a date or just hanging with a cool friend, the thought of holding hands might be enough to get butterflies going in your stomach. Actually asking someone to hold hands can be nerve-wracking, especially if you haven’t done it before. Thankfully, there are a few ways you can ask directly or subtly to start holding hands with the person that you like.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait until you’re in a private place.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Some people aren’t comfortable holding hands until they’re alone.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve never held hands with this person before, don’t try it in a public place. Instead, wait until you’re by yourselves or in a more secluded area.\\nFor instance, if you were in a coffee shop, wait until you’re taking a stroll through the park to make the hand-holding move.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Test the waters with a high-five.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know that you’re okay having your hand touched.\", \"描述\": \"If the person you’re with celebrates an accomplishment or says something cool, offer them a high-five. Afterwards, let your hand linger for just a few seconds to give them a subtle message.\\nThis is a good way to test the waters and get a read on their body language. If they also let their hand linger and didn’t pull away immediately, it’s a good sign!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Place your hand next to theirs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It might encourage them to reach out and grab your hand.\", \"描述\": \"Get your hand as close to theirs as you can without actually touching. If you’re sitting at a table, place your hand on top of the table next to theirs. If you’re sitting side by side, place your hand down by your lap so it almost touches theirs. If they’re feeling bold, they might even reach out and grab your hand first.\\nThis is a super subtle way to ask someone to hold hands. If your date isn’t picking up on it, don’t worry! They probably just missed your clue.\\nIf you're worried about having sweaty palms, just wipe your hand on your pants before you put your hand near theirs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bump your hand against theirs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can do this while you walk and talk.\", \"描述\": \"Swing your arms back and forth and “accidentally” brush your hand against theirs. Or, if you’re sitting down, place your hand on the table but brush your hand against theirs first.\\nIf they “accidentally” brush your hand with theirs, try not to flinch! They might be trying to send a signal right back at you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask them to hold hands if you want to be direct.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s the best way to make sure your date wants to hold hands.\", \"描述\": \"If you can’t quite read their body language or you’re worried that you’re overstepping your boundaries, just ask! If they say yes, you can confidently take their hand and hold it for as long as you’d like.\\nYou might say, “Is it okay if I hold your hand?”\\nOr, “Will you hold my hand?”\\nOr, “Would you like to hold hands?”\\nIf they say no, that’s fine, too. They might not be comfortable with physical touch, or they might want to get to know you a little more before holding hands.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell them your hand feels cold.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Then, ask them to feel it for you.\", \"描述\": \"This is a cute and flirty way to get someone to hold your hand. If they feel your hand and say that it does feel cold, ask them to warm it up for you by hanging onto it.\\nThis is a great hack to use during the chilly winter months.\\nYou could say something like, “Brr, my hands are super cold! Here, feel.”\\nOr, “My hands are super chilly. Could you warm them up for me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Challenge them to a thumb wrestling match.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get up close and personal with their hand as you wrestle.\", \"描述\": \"A thumb wrestling match is another great way to break the touch-barrier—plus, adding a little competition into your time together can enhance the flirty fun you’re having.\\nAfter you’re done thumb wrestling, just keep your hand nestled in theirs. If they don’t pull away, you can keep holding hands.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask if you can read their palm.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Palm reading is a flirty and fun way to touch hands.\", \"描述\": \"Grab their hand and check out the lines in their palm. If you know how to read palms, tell them what’s going to happen in their future! If you don’t know how to read palms, you can just make something up.\\nYou could even turn this into an opportunity to ask about holding hands. As you trace a line down their palm, say something like, “In your future, I see you holding hands with your cute date.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Compare the size of your hands.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get your date to hold their hands against yours.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the size difference, you could say “Wow, my hands are so much smaller/bigger than yours! Let me see.” Then, grab their hand and put it over your own.\\nYou can smoothly turn this into hand holding by saying something like, “They still fit together pretty good, though” as you slide your fingers into theirs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Pull them somewhere by their hand.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell them you’ve got to show them something right now!\", \"描述\": \"If they’re hesitant or a little slow, grab their hand and lead them along behind you. When you get to your destination (a cool plant, a fun store window, a cute dog), just keep your hands together.\\nYou could make a joke out of it by saying, “Well, I guess we have to keep holding hands now.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,486 | How to Ask Someone to Kiss You | 1. Try sincerity for a heartfelt option.
If you had a really good time on your date, tell them that!
Then, follow up with the question about a kiss. Try something like:
“This was so much fun, thanks for taking me out tonight. Would it be okay if I kissed you?”
“I had a really good time tonight, I hope we can see each other again. Can I kiss you?”
2. Be straight up to avoid confusion.
With this option, there’s no way your date can misunderstand you.
Keep it straight and to the point so your date knows what you’re after. For example:
“Can I kiss you?”
“Would it be okay if I kissed you now?”
3. Tell your date that you’re feeling nervous.
Your date’s probably nervous too!
You can ask them indirectly with a cute question that shows off your vulnerability. Try something like:
“I’d really love to kiss you now, but I’m too nervous to even ask!”
“Here comes the nerve-wracking part: can I kiss you?”
4. Get a little flirty to have fun with it.
Try some humor to lighten the mood.
You can ask your question in a fun, flirty way to let your date know that you’re cool and casual. Try something like:
“Welcome to kissville: population, us?”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
5. Ask about their comfort levels.
You always want to make sure your date is feeling the romantic mood as much as you are.
If you can’t tell, simply ask them with a question like:
“I would love to kiss you right now, if you’re into it. Is that okay?”
“How comfortable would you be with kissing right now?”
6. Turn it around on them.
If you’re picking up on flirtatious body language, ask your date if they’d like to kiss you.
You can inject a little humor into the situation so it doesn’t seem as serious, too. Try something like:
“You want to kiss me, don’t you?”
“I can tell that you want to kiss me right now.”
“If you’re going to ask me about a kiss, the answer is yes.”
7. Ask what they’d like to do.
This will give you a good indication of your date’s comfort levels.
You can get specific or leave it broad to get an idea of what your date wants to do. Try something like:
“Would you like me to lean in and kiss you right now?”
“How would you like to end this date?”
8. Tell them to kiss you.
Being bold is a turn-on for most people.
If you’re tired of beating around the bush, just tell your date straight up that you’re open to a kiss. For example:
“I want you to kiss me.”
“Please kiss me now.”
9. Draw attention to your lips.
Build anticipation by turning your date’s attention toward your mouth.
Put on some chapstick or lipstick while you’re chatting to get their mind racing.
This is a more subtle way to hint at kissing, and not everyone will get the message. You should follow up with a direct question to make sure, like, “Do you want to kiss me?” or, “Can I kiss you now?”
10. Step in toward them to get closer.
You can ask for a kiss with your body language if you’re confident enough.
If you’re saying goodbye to your date, step in closer to them to signal that you’re going in for a kiss.
If your date keeps making eye contact with you and doesn’t step away, they’re probably open for a kiss.
If your date takes a step backward or won’t meet your eyes, back off a little.
The best way to avoid confusion is to ask with your words. If you aren’t sure what your date wants, just ask!
11. Send a text before you see them.
You can get a feel for their comfort levels through a flirty text.
Try sending a message that tells them how much you want to kiss them, then see if they respond well. For example:
“I just bought some new lipstick. Fancy a taste?”
“I really wish I was kissing you right now.”
“I want to kiss you.”
Tips
If the answer is no, it’s okay. Take it in stride and try not to be offended. There will be plenty of other opportunities for you to kiss people!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Try sincerity for a heartfelt option.\\nIf you had a really good time on your date, tell them that!\\nThen, follow up with the question about a kiss. Try something like:\\n“This was so much fun, thanks for taking me out tonight. Would it be okay if I kissed you?”\\n“I had a really good time tonight, I hope we can see each other again. Can I kiss you?”\\n2. Be straight up to avoid confusion.\\nWith this option, there’s no way your date can misunderstand you.\\nKeep it straight and to the point so your date knows what you’re after. For example:\\n“Can I kiss you?”\\n“Would it be okay if I kissed you now?”\\n3. Tell your date that you’re feeling nervous.\\nYour date’s probably nervous too!\\nYou can ask them indirectly with a cute question that shows off your vulnerability. Try something like:\\n“I’d really love to kiss you now, but I’m too nervous to even ask!”\\n“Here comes the nerve-wracking part: can I kiss you?”\\n4. Get a little flirty to have fun with it.\\nTry some humor to lighten the mood.\\nYou can ask your question in a fun, flirty way to let your date know that you’re cool and casual. Try something like:\\n“Welcome to kissville: population, us?”\\n“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”\\n5. Ask about their comfort levels.\\nYou always want to make sure your date is feeling the romantic mood as much as you are.\\nIf you can’t tell, simply ask them with a question like:\\n“I would love to kiss you right now, if you’re into it. Is that okay?”\\n“How comfortable would you be with kissing right now?”\\n6. Turn it around on them.\\nIf you’re picking up on flirtatious body language, ask your date if they’d like to kiss you.\\nYou can inject a little humor into the situation so it doesn’t seem as serious, too. Try something like:\\n“You want to kiss me, don’t you?”\\n“I can tell that you want to kiss me right now.”\\n“If you’re going to ask me about a kiss, the answer is yes.”\\n7. Ask what they’d like to do.\\nThis will give you a good indication of your date’s comfort levels.\\nYou can get specific or leave it broad to get an idea of what your date wants to do. Try something like:\\n“Would you like me to lean in and kiss you right now?”\\n“How would you like to end this date?”\\n8. Tell them to kiss you.\\nBeing bold is a turn-on for most people.\\nIf you’re tired of beating around the bush, just tell your date straight up that you’re open to a kiss. For example:\\n“I want you to kiss me.”\\n“Please kiss me now.”\\n9. Draw attention to your lips.\\nBuild anticipation by turning your date’s attention toward your mouth.\\nPut on some chapstick or lipstick while you’re chatting to get their mind racing.\\nThis is a more subtle way to hint at kissing, and not everyone will get the message. You should follow up with a direct question to make sure, like, “Do you want to kiss me?” or, “Can I kiss you now?”\\n10. Step in toward them to get closer.\\nYou can ask for a kiss with your body language if you’re confident enough.\\nIf you’re saying goodbye to your date, step in closer to them to signal that you’re going in for a kiss.\\nIf your date keeps making eye contact with you and doesn’t step away, they’re probably open for a kiss.\\nIf your date takes a step backward or won’t meet your eyes, back off a little.\\nThe best way to avoid confusion is to ask with your words. If you aren’t sure what your date wants, just ask!\\n11. Send a text before you see them.\\nYou can get a feel for their comfort levels through a flirty text.\\nTry sending a message that tells them how much you want to kiss them, then see if they respond well. For example:\\n“I just bought some new lipstick. Fancy a taste?”\\n“I really wish I was kissing you right now.”\\n“I want to kiss you.”\\nTips\\nIf the answer is no, it’s okay. Take it in stride and try not to be offended. There will be plenty of other opportunities for you to kiss people!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You’re out on a date and it’s going super well—but now it’s time to say goodbye. If you really want to lean in for the kiss but you aren’t sure how, you’re not alone! Simply going for it can be a little intimidating, and it’s always good to check your date’s comfort levels and ask permission before taking the next step. There are a lot of different ways you can ask a girl or guy to kiss you–on the date or even over text–so pick the one that feels right for you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try sincerity for a heartfelt option.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you had a really good time on your date, tell them that!\", \"描述\": \"Then, follow up with the question about a kiss. Try something like:\\n“This was so much fun, thanks for taking me out tonight. Would it be okay if I kissed you?”\\n“I had a really good time tonight, I hope we can see each other again. Can I kiss you?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be straight up to avoid confusion.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"With this option, there’s no way your date can misunderstand you.\", \"描述\": \"Keep it straight and to the point so your date knows what you’re after. For example:\\n“Can I kiss you?”\\n“Would it be okay if I kissed you now?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell your date that you’re feeling nervous.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your date’s probably nervous too!\", \"描述\": \"You can ask them indirectly with a cute question that shows off your vulnerability. Try something like:\\n“I’d really love to kiss you now, but I’m too nervous to even ask!”\\n“Here comes the nerve-wracking part: can I kiss you?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get a little flirty to have fun with it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try some humor to lighten the mood.\", \"描述\": \"You can ask your question in a fun, flirty way to let your date know that you’re cool and casual. Try something like:\\n“Welcome to kissville: population, us?”\\n“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask about their comfort levels.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You always want to make sure your date is feeling the romantic mood as much as you are.\", \"描述\": \"If you can’t tell, simply ask them with a question like:\\n“I would love to kiss you right now, if you’re into it. Is that okay?”\\n“How comfortable would you be with kissing right now?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Turn it around on them.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’re picking up on flirtatious body language, ask your date if they’d like to kiss you.\", \"描述\": \"You can inject a little humor into the situation so it doesn’t seem as serious, too. Try something like:\\n“You want to kiss me, don’t you?”\\n“I can tell that you want to kiss me right now.”\\n“If you’re going to ask me about a kiss, the answer is yes.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask what they’d like to do.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This will give you a good indication of your date’s comfort levels.\", \"描述\": \"You can get specific or leave it broad to get an idea of what your date wants to do. Try something like:\\n“Would you like me to lean in and kiss you right now?”\\n“How would you like to end this date?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Tell them to kiss you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being bold is a turn-on for most people.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re tired of beating around the bush, just tell your date straight up that you’re open to a kiss. For example:\\n“I want you to kiss me.”\\n“Please kiss me now.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Draw attention to your lips.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build anticipation by turning your date’s attention toward your mouth.\", \"描述\": \"Put on some chapstick or lipstick while you’re chatting to get their mind racing.\\nThis is a more subtle way to hint at kissing, and not everyone will get the message. You should follow up with a direct question to make sure, like, “Do you want to kiss me?” or, “Can I kiss you now?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Step in toward them to get closer.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can ask for a kiss with your body language if you’re confident enough.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re saying goodbye to your date, step in closer to them to signal that you’re going in for a kiss.\\nIf your date keeps making eye contact with you and doesn’t step away, they’re probably open for a kiss.\\nIf your date takes a step backward or won’t meet your eyes, back off a little.\\nThe best way to avoid confusion is to ask with your words. If you aren’t sure what your date wants, just ask!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Send a text before you see them.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can get a feel for their comfort levels through a flirty text.\", \"描述\": \"Try sending a message that tells them how much you want to kiss them, then see if they respond well. For example:\\n“I just bought some new lipstick. Fancy a taste?”\\n“I really wish I was kissing you right now.”\\n“I want to kiss you.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If the answer is no, it’s okay. Take it in stride and try not to be offended. There will be plenty of other opportunities for you to kiss people!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,487 | How to Ask Someone to Prom | 1. Giving a Gift
1-1. Use cute animals for an animal-lover.
If you know they love animals, use that in your promposal! If they love dogs and you have a Labrador puppy, invite them over and pose your puppy next to a sign saying “Will you go to prom with me?” If their favorite animal is sharks, try Photoshopping a bunch of sharks into tuxedos and prom dresses, writing “Prom?” across the top, and sending it to them.
1-2. Try spelling a promposal with their favorite food.
If you know they love a certain food, incorporate it into your promposal. Spell out “Prom?” with pizza toppings or their favorite candy. You can also give them food in a box, like a cake or a burger, and write “Will you go to prom with me?” on the inside.
1-3. Come up with a funny pun using their favorite things.
If you’re good at coming up with puns, try sending them a pun based on their interests. You could try writing “It’s my goal to go to prom with you!” on a soccer ball, or giving them a taco with a note attached that says “I’m taco-ing about going to prom with you!”
1-4. Make a puzzle for them.
Some people love puzzles. If your prospective date is one of them, try making a custom promposal puzzle. You can print your note onto an actual jigsaw puzzle, or you can try making a crossword or word search puzzle that has your promposal as the answer.
1-5. Write a promposal song.
If you’re a musical person, you can try writing a song for your prospective date. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated or brilliant. You can even just change the lyrics of a popular song to include your promposal. Make sure your song is the kind of music they like before you start writing!
1-6. Buy them something they love.
If you can buy a gift, getting them something you know they'll love can make your promposal memorable. The gift can be as simple as a handmade card or as extravagant as a pair of designer shoes. It's up to you and your budget!
Avoid giving a lavish gift to someone you don't know well. It will be awkward for them and they might feel like they have to go with you.
2. Making a Sign
2-1. Write a message on a sign.
The sign’s message doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be a simple “Will you go to prom with me?” or even just “Prom?” If you want to write something more involved, spend some time thinking about what will be easily understandable, what will fit on a sign, and what you wouldn’t mind other people seeing. A very personal anecdote, a long story, or a really obscure in-joke may not work out very well.
You can also decorate your sign with glitter, photos, or balloons.
Try leaving your sign somewhere your date might come across it on their day-to-day lives. Make sure you put both of your names on it if you do this!
2-2. Use a t-shirt or hat to ask them out.
Why make a sign when you can wear one? Write your promposal on a shirt or a baseball cap and wear it to surprise your date. You can do something simple like writing "Prom?" on your shirt, or you can even have a custom shirt made for both of you as a souvenir.
2-3. "Prompose" at a school event.
If you and your prospective date love a crowd, try promposing with your sign at a big event with everybody you know present. Any lighthearted or fun event is fine to choose. You can pick a sports game, a pep rally, or even just a really crowded hall or lunchroom.
Avoid formal events like speeches and plays. You want everyone to be thinking about how cool your promposal is, not wondering why you’re interrupting everything.
Definitely don’t plan a promposal at a sad event or a party for someone else.
2-4. Get your sign on a marquee.
If your school has a marquee at the entrance or in the sports complex, get your promposal on that sign! Find out who's in charge of the marquee and ask if you can use it for your promposal. Remember to include both your names!
3. Asking for Help
3-1. Ask the announcer at a game or assembly to do your promposal.
If you know who handles the announcements at school events, ask them for help. They might be willing to interrupt their announcements to ask your date to prom for you.
If they say no, have a backup plan! For example, if there’s no way they’ll let you get on the microphone at the homecoming game, see if they’ll let you do it at a pep rally.
3-2. Get your teacher to give a promposal quiz.
If your teacher is easygoing, try asking them to get involved by making a promposal assignment. Try something like a pop quiz where the answers spell out your date's name and the word "prom," or a fake quiz where the only question is "Daryl, will you go to prom with Alyssa?"
3-3. Set up a scavenger hunt with your friends.
Ask your friends to help set up a trail of clues leading your date to you. You'll need someone to make sure nobody else finds the clues, and another friend to make sure your date is there when the hunt begins.
3-4. Kidnap your prospective date.
If you're already in a relationship with your date and you know them really well, get your friends to "kidnap" them for your promposal. You can have them run up to your date and drag them to where you're waiting with a sign or a bouquet of flowers.
Be very careful with this technique! Make sure your date would like this, and that your friends understand to stop if your date becomes scared or upset.
3-5. Organize a flash mob.
A flash mob is when a group of people gather in public, do something random or spontaneous, and then quickly leave. You can organize your very own flash mob to do your promposal. First, create a group text or Facebook event for everyone you want to invite. Ask them to gather somewhere you know for sure your date will be, and then ask them to dance, hold up signs with your promposal, or just yell "Will you go to prom with Derek?"
4. Asking in Person
4-1. Find out if they already have a date.
If you aren’t already seeing your prospective date, they may be planning to go with someone else. Finding out before you ask can save you a lot of time and embarrassment. If you’re really comfortable with them, you can ask them directly. If you’d rather not, ask your friends to find out or drop a hint about prom to them.
Try saying something straightforward like “So do you have a prom date yet?” If they say yes, try to act calm and cool about it. Tell them you hope they have a great time. If they say no, you can either ask them right away or start planning your promposal!
4-2. Learn a little bit about their likes and dislikes.
A promposal isn’t a one-size-fits-all event. Some people would absolutely hate being asked to prom in front of everybody at the homecoming game, but others would love it. Think about what you know about your prospective date. Would they prefer to be asked privately, or would they love a big public event? Do they think pun promposals are cute or annoying?
4-3. Bring up prom in conversation.
If you aren’t sure how your prospective date feels about the whole prom thing, drop a hint. Start by bringing up the idea of prom in general to see how they react. Some people are very no-frills and may not even be interested in prom at all.
Just say something casual like “I heard they actually hired an outside DJ for prom” or “My friend works at the mall, she says everyone’s buying prom stuff already.”
If they seem interested and don’t mention a date, you can ask them!
If they act grossed out by the idea of prom, they might be trying to act cool, or they might really not want to go. The only way to find out for sure is to ask them directly.
4-4. Wait until you’re alone with them.
Don’t just ask them in front of everybody. Somebody who appreciates a low-key promposal is probably not going to want to be asked in front of their friends. You don’t need to ask to meet them or anything, just wait until it’s just the two of you walking, hanging out, or waiting for the bus.
4-5. Ask them to prom.
Just come right out and say it! You don’t need to recite a poem or talk about how much you love them. Just look them in the eyes, smile, and say, “Will you go to prom with me?” Depending on the person, you can even say something really casual like “Want to go to prom together?”
If they say no, smile, say you understand, and thank them. It doesn’t have to be awkward. You can still be friends later.
It might be tempting to text them instead of speaking face to face, but don’t do it unless they have actually told you that they don’t mind text promposals. Many people think that sending a text about something important shows you don’t care that much. If you can’t see the person face to face, call them!
4-6. Tell them you’ll talk about plans soon.
If they say yes, don’t just run away and leave them wondering when you’re going to follow up. Tell them you’re really excited to go with them and you can’t wait for prom. Then, say something casual like “I’ll get in touch with you this weekend to figure out the plans. Is that ok?”
Tips
Don’t be afraid to be creative! This is a great opportunity to think outside the box and let your craziest dreams come true.
Check Instagram, Twitter, and Google for fun promposal ideas--but don’t copy them exactly!
Though you may think it would impress them, don't ask someone to prom in front of a big crowd or on stage or anything like that. You may embarrass them into saying yes, and regretting it later.
Warnings
Not everyone who gets asked to prom accepts. If your prospective date turns you down, play it cool. Ask someone else or consider going to prom stag or with friends.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Giving a Gift\\n1-1. Use cute animals for an animal-lover.\\nIf you know they love animals, use that in your promposal! If they love dogs and you have a Labrador puppy, invite them over and pose your puppy next to a sign saying “Will you go to prom with me?” If their favorite animal is sharks, try Photoshopping a bunch of sharks into tuxedos and prom dresses, writing “Prom?” across the top, and sending it to them.\\n1-2. Try spelling a promposal with their favorite food.\\nIf you know they love a certain food, incorporate it into your promposal. Spell out “Prom?” with pizza toppings or their favorite candy. You can also give them food in a box, like a cake or a burger, and write “Will you go to prom with me?” on the inside.\\n1-3. Come up with a funny pun using their favorite things.\\nIf you’re good at coming up with puns, try sending them a pun based on their interests. You could try writing “It’s my goal to go to prom with you!” on a soccer ball, or giving them a taco with a note attached that says “I’m taco-ing about going to prom with you!”\\n1-4. Make a puzzle for them.\\nSome people love puzzles. If your prospective date is one of them, try making a custom promposal puzzle. You can print your note onto an actual jigsaw puzzle, or you can try making a crossword or word search puzzle that has your promposal as the answer.\\n1-5. Write a promposal song.\\nIf you’re a musical person, you can try writing a song for your prospective date. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated or brilliant. You can even just change the lyrics of a popular song to include your promposal. Make sure your song is the kind of music they like before you start writing!\\n1-6. Buy them something they love.\\nIf you can buy a gift, getting them something you know they'll love can make your promposal memorable. The gift can be as simple as a handmade card or as extravagant as a pair of designer shoes. It's up to you and your budget!\\nAvoid giving a lavish gift to someone you don't know well. It will be awkward for them and they might feel like they have to go with you.\\n2. Making a Sign\\n2-1. Write a message on a sign.\\nThe sign’s message doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be a simple “Will you go to prom with me?” or even just “Prom?” If you want to write something more involved, spend some time thinking about what will be easily understandable, what will fit on a sign, and what you wouldn’t mind other people seeing. A very personal anecdote, a long story, or a really obscure in-joke may not work out very well.\\nYou can also decorate your sign with glitter, photos, or balloons.\\nTry leaving your sign somewhere your date might come across it on their day-to-day lives. Make sure you put both of your names on it if you do this!\\n2-2. Use a t-shirt or hat to ask them out.\\nWhy make a sign when you can wear one? Write your promposal on a shirt or a baseball cap and wear it to surprise your date. You can do something simple like writing \\\"Prom?\\\" on your shirt, or you can even have a custom shirt made for both of you as a souvenir.\\n2-3. \\\"Prompose\\\" at a school event.\\nIf you and your prospective date love a crowd, try promposing with your sign at a big event with everybody you know present. Any lighthearted or fun event is fine to choose. You can pick a sports game, a pep rally, or even just a really crowded hall or lunchroom.\\nAvoid formal events like speeches and plays. You want everyone to be thinking about how cool your promposal is, not wondering why you’re interrupting everything.\\nDefinitely don’t plan a promposal at a sad event or a party for someone else.\\n2-4. Get your sign on a marquee.\\nIf your school has a marquee at the entrance or in the sports complex, get your promposal on that sign! Find out who's in charge of the marquee and ask if you can use it for your promposal. Remember to include both your names!\\n3. Asking for Help\\n3-1. Ask the announcer at a game or assembly to do your promposal.\\nIf you know who handles the announcements at school events, ask them for help. They might be willing to interrupt their announcements to ask your date to prom for you.\\nIf they say no, have a backup plan! For example, if there’s no way they’ll let you get on the microphone at the homecoming game, see if they’ll let you do it at a pep rally.\\n3-2. Get your teacher to give a promposal quiz.\\nIf your teacher is easygoing, try asking them to get involved by making a promposal assignment. Try something like a pop quiz where the answers spell out your date's name and the word \\\"prom,\\\" or a fake quiz where the only question is \\\"Daryl, will you go to prom with Alyssa?\\\"\\n3-3. Set up a scavenger hunt with your friends.\\nAsk your friends to help set up a trail of clues leading your date to you. You'll need someone to make sure nobody else finds the clues, and another friend to make sure your date is there when the hunt begins.\\n3-4. Kidnap your prospective date.\\nIf you're already in a relationship with your date and you know them really well, get your friends to \\\"kidnap\\\" them for your promposal. You can have them run up to your date and drag them to where you're waiting with a sign or a bouquet of flowers.\\nBe very careful with this technique! Make sure your date would like this, and that your friends understand to stop if your date becomes scared or upset.\\n3-5. Organize a flash mob.\\nA flash mob is when a group of people gather in public, do something random or spontaneous, and then quickly leave. You can organize your very own flash mob to do your promposal. First, create a group text or Facebook event for everyone you want to invite. Ask them to gather somewhere you know for sure your date will be, and then ask them to dance, hold up signs with your promposal, or just yell \\\"Will you go to prom with Derek?\\\"\\n4. Asking in Person\\n4-1. Find out if they already have a date.\\nIf you aren’t already seeing your prospective date, they may be planning to go with someone else. Finding out before you ask can save you a lot of time and embarrassment. If you’re really comfortable with them, you can ask them directly. If you’d rather not, ask your friends to find out or drop a hint about prom to them.\\nTry saying something straightforward like “So do you have a prom date yet?” If they say yes, try to act calm and cool about it. Tell them you hope they have a great time. If they say no, you can either ask them right away or start planning your promposal!\\n4-2. Learn a little bit about their likes and dislikes.\\nA promposal isn’t a one-size-fits-all event. Some people would absolutely hate being asked to prom in front of everybody at the homecoming game, but others would love it. Think about what you know about your prospective date. Would they prefer to be asked privately, or would they love a big public event? Do they think pun promposals are cute or annoying?\\n4-3. Bring up prom in conversation.\\nIf you aren’t sure how your prospective date feels about the whole prom thing, drop a hint. Start by bringing up the idea of prom in general to see how they react. Some people are very no-frills and may not even be interested in prom at all.\\nJust say something casual like “I heard they actually hired an outside DJ for prom” or “My friend works at the mall, she says everyone’s buying prom stuff already.”\\nIf they seem interested and don’t mention a date, you can ask them!\\nIf they act grossed out by the idea of prom, they might be trying to act cool, or they might really not want to go. The only way to find out for sure is to ask them directly.\\n4-4. Wait until you’re alone with them.\\nDon’t just ask them in front of everybody. Somebody who appreciates a low-key promposal is probably not going to want to be asked in front of their friends. You don’t need to ask to meet them or anything, just wait until it’s just the two of you walking, hanging out, or waiting for the bus.\\n4-5. Ask them to prom.\\nJust come right out and say it! You don’t need to recite a poem or talk about how much you love them. Just look them in the eyes, smile, and say, “Will you go to prom with me?” Depending on the person, you can even say something really casual like “Want to go to prom together?”\\nIf they say no, smile, say you understand, and thank them. It doesn’t have to be awkward. You can still be friends later.\\nIt might be tempting to text them instead of speaking face to face, but don’t do it unless they have actually told you that they don’t mind text promposals. Many people think that sending a text about something important shows you don’t care that much. If you can’t see the person face to face, call them!\\n4-6. Tell them you’ll talk about plans soon.\\nIf they say yes, don’t just run away and leave them wondering when you’re going to follow up. Tell them you’re really excited to go with them and you can’t wait for prom. Then, say something casual like “I’ll get in touch with you this weekend to figure out the plans. Is that ok?”\\nTips\\nDon’t be afraid to be creative! This is a great opportunity to think outside the box and let your craziest dreams come true.\\nCheck Instagram, Twitter, and Google for fun promposal ideas--but don’t copy them exactly!\\nThough you may think it would impress them, don't ask someone to prom in front of a big crowd or on stage or anything like that. You may embarrass them into saying yes, and regretting it later.\\nWarnings\\nNot everyone who gets asked to prom accepts. If your prospective date turns you down, play it cool. Ask someone else or consider going to prom stag or with friends.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking someone to prom (also known as \\\"Promposing\\\") can be both exciting and scary. If you've picked the person you know you want to go to prom with, but have no idea how to ask them, don't worry! You can learn some proposing basics, discover some great ways to ask your prospective date, and begin to come up with some ideas of your own.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving a Gift\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use cute animals for an animal-lover.\", \"描述\": \"If you know they love animals, use that in your promposal! If they love dogs and you have a Labrador puppy, invite them over and pose your puppy next to a sign saying “Will you go to prom with me?” If their favorite animal is sharks, try Photoshopping a bunch of sharks into tuxedos and prom dresses, writing “Prom?” across the top, and sending it to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try spelling a promposal with their favorite food.\", \"描述\": \"If you know they love a certain food, incorporate it into your promposal. Spell out “Prom?” with pizza toppings or their favorite candy. You can also give them food in a box, like a cake or a burger, and write “Will you go to prom with me?” on the inside.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Come up with a funny pun using their favorite things.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re good at coming up with puns, try sending them a pun based on their interests. You could try writing “It’s my goal to go to prom with you!” on a soccer ball, or giving them a taco with a note attached that says “I’m taco-ing about going to prom with you!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a puzzle for them.\", \"描述\": \"Some people love puzzles. If your prospective date is one of them, try making a custom promposal puzzle. You can print your note onto an actual jigsaw puzzle, or you can try making a crossword or word search puzzle that has your promposal as the answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write a promposal song.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re a musical person, you can try writing a song for your prospective date. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated or brilliant. You can even just change the lyrics of a popular song to include your promposal. Make sure your song is the kind of music they like before you start writing!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Buy them something they love.\", \"描述\": \"If you can buy a gift, getting them something you know they'll love can make your promposal memorable. The gift can be as simple as a handmade card or as extravagant as a pair of designer shoes. It's up to you and your budget!\\nAvoid giving a lavish gift to someone you don't know well. It will be awkward for them and they might feel like they have to go with you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making a Sign\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write a message on a sign.\", \"描述\": \"The sign’s message doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be a simple “Will you go to prom with me?” or even just “Prom?” If you want to write something more involved, spend some time thinking about what will be easily understandable, what will fit on a sign, and what you wouldn’t mind other people seeing. A very personal anecdote, a long story, or a really obscure in-joke may not work out very well.\\nYou can also decorate your sign with glitter, photos, or balloons.\\nTry leaving your sign somewhere your date might come across it on their day-to-day lives. Make sure you put both of your names on it if you do this!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a t-shirt or hat to ask them out.\", \"描述\": \"Why make a sign when you can wear one? Write your promposal on a shirt or a baseball cap and wear it to surprise your date. You can do something simple like writing \\\"Prom?\\\" on your shirt, or you can even have a custom shirt made for both of you as a souvenir.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"\\\"Prompose\\\" at a school event.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your prospective date love a crowd, try promposing with your sign at a big event with everybody you know present. Any lighthearted or fun event is fine to choose. You can pick a sports game, a pep rally, or even just a really crowded hall or lunchroom.\\nAvoid formal events like speeches and plays. You want everyone to be thinking about how cool your promposal is, not wondering why you’re interrupting everything.\\nDefinitely don’t plan a promposal at a sad event or a party for someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get your sign on a marquee.\", \"描述\": \"If your school has a marquee at the entrance or in the sports complex, get your promposal on that sign! Find out who's in charge of the marquee and ask if you can use it for your promposal. Remember to include both your names!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking for Help\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask the announcer at a game or assembly to do your promposal.\", \"描述\": \"If you know who handles the announcements at school events, ask them for help. They might be willing to interrupt their announcements to ask your date to prom for you.\\nIf they say no, have a backup plan! For example, if there’s no way they’ll let you get on the microphone at the homecoming game, see if they’ll let you do it at a pep rally.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get your teacher to give a promposal quiz.\", \"描述\": \"If your teacher is easygoing, try asking them to get involved by making a promposal assignment. Try something like a pop quiz where the answers spell out your date's name and the word \\\"prom,\\\" or a fake quiz where the only question is \\\"Daryl, will you go to prom with Alyssa?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set up a scavenger hunt with your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your friends to help set up a trail of clues leading your date to you. You'll need someone to make sure nobody else finds the clues, and another friend to make sure your date is there when the hunt begins.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Kidnap your prospective date.\", \"描述\": \"If you're already in a relationship with your date and you know them really well, get your friends to \\\"kidnap\\\" them for your promposal. You can have them run up to your date and drag them to where you're waiting with a sign or a bouquet of flowers.\\nBe very careful with this technique! Make sure your date would like this, and that your friends understand to stop if your date becomes scared or upset.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Organize a flash mob.\", \"描述\": \"A flash mob is when a group of people gather in public, do something random or spontaneous, and then quickly leave. You can organize your very own flash mob to do your promposal. First, create a group text or Facebook event for everyone you want to invite. Ask them to gather somewhere you know for sure your date will be, and then ask them to dance, hold up signs with your promposal, or just yell \\\"Will you go to prom with Derek?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Asking in Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out if they already have a date.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t already seeing your prospective date, they may be planning to go with someone else. Finding out before you ask can save you a lot of time and embarrassment. If you’re really comfortable with them, you can ask them directly. If you’d rather not, ask your friends to find out or drop a hint about prom to them.\\nTry saying something straightforward like “So do you have a prom date yet?” If they say yes, try to act calm and cool about it. Tell them you hope they have a great time. If they say no, you can either ask them right away or start planning your promposal!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn a little bit about their likes and dislikes.\", \"描述\": \"A promposal isn’t a one-size-fits-all event. Some people would absolutely hate being asked to prom in front of everybody at the homecoming game, but others would love it. Think about what you know about your prospective date. Would they prefer to be asked privately, or would they love a big public event? Do they think pun promposals are cute or annoying?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring up prom in conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t sure how your prospective date feels about the whole prom thing, drop a hint. Start by bringing up the idea of prom in general to see how they react. Some people are very no-frills and may not even be interested in prom at all.\\nJust say something casual like “I heard they actually hired an outside DJ for prom” or “My friend works at the mall, she says everyone’s buying prom stuff already.”\\nIf they seem interested and don’t mention a date, you can ask them!\\nIf they act grossed out by the idea of prom, they might be trying to act cool, or they might really not want to go. The only way to find out for sure is to ask them directly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wait until you’re alone with them.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t just ask them in front of everybody. Somebody who appreciates a low-key promposal is probably not going to want to be asked in front of their friends. You don’t need to ask to meet them or anything, just wait until it’s just the two of you walking, hanging out, or waiting for the bus.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask them to prom.\", \"描述\": \"Just come right out and say it! You don’t need to recite a poem or talk about how much you love them. Just look them in the eyes, smile, and say, “Will you go to prom with me?” Depending on the person, you can even say something really casual like “Want to go to prom together?”\\nIf they say no, smile, say you understand, and thank them. It doesn’t have to be awkward. You can still be friends later.\\nIt might be tempting to text them instead of speaking face to face, but don’t do it unless they have actually told you that they don’t mind text promposals. Many people think that sending a text about something important shows you don’t care that much. If you can’t see the person face to face, call them!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell them you’ll talk about plans soon.\", \"描述\": \"If they say yes, don’t just run away and leave them wondering when you’re going to follow up. Tell them you’re really excited to go with them and you can’t wait for prom. Then, say something casual like “I’ll get in touch with you this weekend to figure out the plans. Is that ok?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t be afraid to be creative! This is a great opportunity to think outside the box and let your craziest dreams come true.\\n\", \"Check Instagram, Twitter, and Google for fun promposal ideas--but don’t copy them exactly!\\n\", \"Though you may think it would impress them, don't ask someone to prom in front of a big crowd or on stage or anything like that. You may embarrass them into saying yes, and regretting it later.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Not everyone who gets asked to prom accepts. If your prospective date turns you down, play it cool. Ask someone else or consider going to prom stag or with friends.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,488 | How to Ask Someone to Take Off Their Shoes at Your Home | 1. Creating a Shoe Area
1-1. Create a place for shoes.
This should be an area clearly visible from the entrance where you can place your shoes that you have taken off. You might want to include a rack to place shoes on, or even just a small mat or rug where you place the shoes.
When people enter, they'll see the "shoe area" with you and your family's shoes, they'll see you (and other household members) without shoes on, and hopefully they'll put two and two together.
1-2. Leave your own shoes in the shoe area.
To make sure that the function of the space is understood, leave some of your own shoes in the shoe space so that your guests will see this and know what to do. Put several pairs of shoes in the shoe area.
If you create a shoe space without any shoes to occupy it, your guests may not realize that you want them to put their shoes there.
1-3. Put a sign up.
To be absolutely certain that your guests understand the function of the shoe space, make a cute sign to hang above it. This will help eliminate any possible confusion.
You can include a cute phrase on the sign like, “Leave your worries (and your shoes) at the door.”
1-4. Create a mudroom.
A mudroom is a space in a house (usually near the most used entrance/exit) that holds all the gear people wear outside — like coats, scarves, boots, shoes, etc. If you have a clearly designated room/area for these items, it is easy for guests to utilize the space.
If your guests have to go through or pass by the mudroom on their way into your home, it will be quite easy to encourage them to use it.
2. Phrasing the Question
2-1. Link the request with the invite into your house.
Try saying, "Do come in — you can put your shoes on the rack." That way the request is linked neatly with the invitation to enter. In fact, it would be very awkward at this point for your guest to do anything other than remove her outer footwear.
2-2. Ask directly.
If your guests remain oblivious to any visual clues you may have provided, you should ask them directly. Be firm, but polite with your request. Most people will respond positively because they won't want to offend.
If you feel it is necessary, give a good reason for asking them such as having had new carpets or having just had them cleaned, the weather being particularly foul, or you can say that your driveway is gritty and you're trying to minimize how much of it gets brought in on shoes.
Try saying something like:
“I'd appreciate it if you took your shoes off when you come in. We've just had the carpets cleaned.”
“Please take your shoes off when you come in the house. We like to avoid tracking in toxins and bacteria whenever possible.”
Remember that it is your house, so you have every right to ask your guests to remove their shoes.
2-3. Inform your guests on the invite.
If possible, it is best to let people know in advance that you would like them to remove their shoes. This will keep your guests from being caught off guard in a situation that may make them uncomfortable. It will also give them time to consider bringing their own slippers or wearing socks if they might have otherwise not worn socks.
You could say, "Oh, by the way we don't wear shoes in our house. You may want to bring some slippers or socks."
2-4. Be firm and polite if they want to refuse.
Some people may not want to take their shoes off no matter what you say. At this point, you should consider how important your “no shoes” house rules are and decide if you want to cause a fuss about it.
If there is a cultural or religious reason for not wearing shoes in the house, be open and let your guests know how important it is. For example, “I'm very sorry this caught you off-guard, but where I'm from taking your shoes off before entering is a sign of respect. It would mean a great deal to me and my family if you could do us the honor of entering our home without your shoes.”
Remember that you are well within your rights to ask your guests to remove their shoes, but if this makes your guests uncomfortable, they may choose to leave. That is a risk you must be willing to take.
3. Providing Your Guests With Alternatives
3-1. Provide socks or slippers for guests.
If you want your guests to take off their shoes, it might be a nice gesture to provide them with an alternative that is acceptable to both parties. Having some nice slippers or comfy socks available for your guests can help eliminate your guests' feelings of discomfort or desire to push back against your request.
However, you will probably find that most guests will prefer to be in socks or bare feet than wear borrowed slippers.
You can also try buying some disposable shoe covers (like the kind doctors wear over their shoes) for your guest to wear over his bare feet. This way, she won't feel strange borrowing someone else's socks or slippers and you can throw away the used covers after she leaves.
3-2. Provide scented foot spray.
It may be helpful for you to provide some scented foot spray near the area where you want your guests to remove their shoes. This will give your guests an alternative option if they are embarrassed about the possibility of having foot odor.
3-3. Be aware of alternative customs.
In Japan, it is unheard of to walk into someone's house in your shoes, which are always left outside, and pretty slippers are always available. These can be bought quite cheaply in many local stores.
This cultural difference is why it's a good idea to provide socks or slippers for your guests.
Tips
While it may be scary to ask people to take their shoes off, remember that most people will feel more comfortable for having removed their shoes. Most people will not be at all bothered by having to remove their shoes. If you are a good host, most guests will be happy regardless of whether they are in their shoes or not.
Ultimately, it is your responsibility as a host to ensure that your guests feel welcome in your home. If your guests wish to keep their shoes on you must ask yourself which is more important – your flooring or your friends.
If you are inviting guests to a party, write your request for “no shoes” on the invitation.
Warnings
Some people will not understand why you wish them to remove their shoes in your home, and may be offended.
In some cultures, having bare feet is a sign of disrespect.
Some people may have a good reason for not removing their shoes – be sure you know that they are not going to be embarrassed by your request.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Creating a Shoe Area\\n1-1. Create a place for shoes.\\nThis should be an area clearly visible from the entrance where you can place your shoes that you have taken off. You might want to include a rack to place shoes on, or even just a small mat or rug where you place the shoes.\\nWhen people enter, they'll see the \\\"shoe area\\\" with you and your family's shoes, they'll see you (and other household members) without shoes on, and hopefully they'll put two and two together.\\n1-2. Leave your own shoes in the shoe area.\\nTo make sure that the function of the space is understood, leave some of your own shoes in the shoe space so that your guests will see this and know what to do. Put several pairs of shoes in the shoe area.\\nIf you create a shoe space without any shoes to occupy it, your guests may not realize that you want them to put their shoes there.\\n1-3. Put a sign up.\\nTo be absolutely certain that your guests understand the function of the shoe space, make a cute sign to hang above it. This will help eliminate any possible confusion.\\nYou can include a cute phrase on the sign like, “Leave your worries (and your shoes) at the door.”\\n1-4. Create a mudroom.\\nA mudroom is a space in a house (usually near the most used entrance/exit) that holds all the gear people wear outside — like coats, scarves, boots, shoes, etc. If you have a clearly designated room/area for these items, it is easy for guests to utilize the space.\\nIf your guests have to go through or pass by the mudroom on their way into your home, it will be quite easy to encourage them to use it.\\n2. Phrasing the Question\\n2-1. Link the request with the invite into your house.\\nTry saying, \\\"Do come in — you can put your shoes on the rack.\\\" That way the request is linked neatly with the invitation to enter. In fact, it would be very awkward at this point for your guest to do anything other than remove her outer footwear.\\n2-2. Ask directly.\\nIf your guests remain oblivious to any visual clues you may have provided, you should ask them directly. Be firm, but polite with your request. Most people will respond positively because they won't want to offend.\\nIf you feel it is necessary, give a good reason for asking them such as having had new carpets or having just had them cleaned, the weather being particularly foul, or you can say that your driveway is gritty and you're trying to minimize how much of it gets brought in on shoes.\\nTry saying something like:\\n“I'd appreciate it if you took your shoes off when you come in. We've just had the carpets cleaned.”\\n“Please take your shoes off when you come in the house. We like to avoid tracking in toxins and bacteria whenever possible.”\\n\\nRemember that it is your house, so you have every right to ask your guests to remove their shoes.\\n2-3. Inform your guests on the invite.\\nIf possible, it is best to let people know in advance that you would like them to remove their shoes. This will keep your guests from being caught off guard in a situation that may make them uncomfortable. It will also give them time to consider bringing their own slippers or wearing socks if they might have otherwise not worn socks.\\nYou could say, \\\"Oh, by the way we don't wear shoes in our house. You may want to bring some slippers or socks.\\\"\\n2-4. Be firm and polite if they want to refuse.\\nSome people may not want to take their shoes off no matter what you say. At this point, you should consider how important your “no shoes” house rules are and decide if you want to cause a fuss about it.\\nIf there is a cultural or religious reason for not wearing shoes in the house, be open and let your guests know how important it is. For example, “I'm very sorry this caught you off-guard, but where I'm from taking your shoes off before entering is a sign of respect. It would mean a great deal to me and my family if you could do us the honor of entering our home without your shoes.”\\nRemember that you are well within your rights to ask your guests to remove their shoes, but if this makes your guests uncomfortable, they may choose to leave. That is a risk you must be willing to take.\\n3. Providing Your Guests With Alternatives\\n3-1. Provide socks or slippers for guests.\\nIf you want your guests to take off their shoes, it might be a nice gesture to provide them with an alternative that is acceptable to both parties. Having some nice slippers or comfy socks available for your guests can help eliminate your guests' feelings of discomfort or desire to push back against your request.\\nHowever, you will probably find that most guests will prefer to be in socks or bare feet than wear borrowed slippers.\\nYou can also try buying some disposable shoe covers (like the kind doctors wear over their shoes) for your guest to wear over his bare feet. This way, she won't feel strange borrowing someone else's socks or slippers and you can throw away the used covers after she leaves.\\n3-2. Provide scented foot spray.\\nIt may be helpful for you to provide some scented foot spray near the area where you want your guests to remove their shoes. This will give your guests an alternative option if they are embarrassed about the possibility of having foot odor.\\n3-3. Be aware of alternative customs.\\nIn Japan, it is unheard of to walk into someone's house in your shoes, which are always left outside, and pretty slippers are always available. These can be bought quite cheaply in many local stores.\\nThis cultural difference is why it's a good idea to provide socks or slippers for your guests.\\nTips\\nWhile it may be scary to ask people to take their shoes off, remember that most people will feel more comfortable for having removed their shoes. Most people will not be at all bothered by having to remove their shoes. If you are a good host, most guests will be happy regardless of whether they are in their shoes or not.\\nUltimately, it is your responsibility as a host to ensure that your guests feel welcome in your home. If your guests wish to keep their shoes on you must ask yourself which is more important – your flooring or your friends.\\nIf you are inviting guests to a party, write your request for “no shoes” on the invitation.\\nWarnings\\nSome people will not understand why you wish them to remove their shoes in your home, and may be offended.\\nIn some cultures, having bare feet is a sign of disrespect.\\nSome people may have a good reason for not removing their shoes – be sure you know that they are not going to be embarrassed by your request.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you invite someone to your house it can be pretty awkward to ask him to remove his shoes — especially if the person is wearing sandals or flip-flops. But it's your house, so you have the right to request that your guests go shoeless inside your home. To do this politely, you'll need to consider a few aspects of the situation first.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Creating a Shoe Area\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a place for shoes.\", \"描述\": \"This should be an area clearly visible from the entrance where you can place your shoes that you have taken off. You might want to include a rack to place shoes on, or even just a small mat or rug where you place the shoes.\\nWhen people enter, they'll see the \\\"shoe area\\\" with you and your family's shoes, they'll see you (and other household members) without shoes on, and hopefully they'll put two and two together.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Leave your own shoes in the shoe area.\", \"描述\": \"To make sure that the function of the space is understood, leave some of your own shoes in the shoe space so that your guests will see this and know what to do. Put several pairs of shoes in the shoe area.\\nIf you create a shoe space without any shoes to occupy it, your guests may not realize that you want them to put their shoes there.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Put a sign up.\", \"描述\": \"To be absolutely certain that your guests understand the function of the shoe space, make a cute sign to hang above it. This will help eliminate any possible confusion.\\nYou can include a cute phrase on the sign like, “Leave your worries (and your shoes) at the door.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a mudroom.\", \"描述\": \"A mudroom is a space in a house (usually near the most used entrance/exit) that holds all the gear people wear outside — like coats, scarves, boots, shoes, etc. If you have a clearly designated room/area for these items, it is easy for guests to utilize the space.\\nIf your guests have to go through or pass by the mudroom on their way into your home, it will be quite easy to encourage them to use it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Phrasing the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Link the request with the invite into your house.\", \"描述\": \"Try saying, \\\"Do come in — you can put your shoes on the rack.\\\" That way the request is linked neatly with the invitation to enter. In fact, it would be very awkward at this point for your guest to do anything other than remove her outer footwear.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask directly.\", \"描述\": \"If your guests remain oblivious to any visual clues you may have provided, you should ask them directly. Be firm, but polite with your request. Most people will respond positively because they won't want to offend.\\nIf you feel it is necessary, give a good reason for asking them such as having had new carpets or having just had them cleaned, the weather being particularly foul, or you can say that your driveway is gritty and you're trying to minimize how much of it gets brought in on shoes.\\nTry saying something like:\\n“I'd appreciate it if you took your shoes off when you come in. We've just had the carpets cleaned.”\\n“Please take your shoes off when you come in the house. We like to avoid tracking in toxins and bacteria whenever possible.”\\n\\nRemember that it is your house, so you have every right to ask your guests to remove their shoes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Inform your guests on the invite.\", \"描述\": \"If possible, it is best to let people know in advance that you would like them to remove their shoes. This will keep your guests from being caught off guard in a situation that may make them uncomfortable. It will also give them time to consider bringing their own slippers or wearing socks if they might have otherwise not worn socks.\\nYou could say, \\\"Oh, by the way we don't wear shoes in our house. You may want to bring some slippers or socks.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be firm and polite if they want to refuse.\", \"描述\": \"Some people may not want to take their shoes off no matter what you say. At this point, you should consider how important your “no shoes” house rules are and decide if you want to cause a fuss about it.\\nIf there is a cultural or religious reason for not wearing shoes in the house, be open and let your guests know how important it is. For example, “I'm very sorry this caught you off-guard, but where I'm from taking your shoes off before entering is a sign of respect. It would mean a great deal to me and my family if you could do us the honor of entering our home without your shoes.”\\nRemember that you are well within your rights to ask your guests to remove their shoes, but if this makes your guests uncomfortable, they may choose to leave. That is a risk you must be willing to take.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Providing Your Guests With Alternatives\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Provide socks or slippers for guests.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your guests to take off their shoes, it might be a nice gesture to provide them with an alternative that is acceptable to both parties. Having some nice slippers or comfy socks available for your guests can help eliminate your guests' feelings of discomfort or desire to push back against your request.\\nHowever, you will probably find that most guests will prefer to be in socks or bare feet than wear borrowed slippers.\\nYou can also try buying some disposable shoe covers (like the kind doctors wear over their shoes) for your guest to wear over his bare feet. This way, she won't feel strange borrowing someone else's socks or slippers and you can throw away the used covers after she leaves.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Provide scented foot spray.\", \"描述\": \"It may be helpful for you to provide some scented foot spray near the area where you want your guests to remove their shoes. This will give your guests an alternative option if they are embarrassed about the possibility of having foot odor.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be aware of alternative customs.\", \"描述\": \"In Japan, it is unheard of to walk into someone's house in your shoes, which are always left outside, and pretty slippers are always available. These can be bought quite cheaply in many local stores.\\nThis cultural difference is why it's a good idea to provide socks or slippers for your guests.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"While it may be scary to ask people to take their shoes off, remember that most people will feel more comfortable for having removed their shoes. Most people will not be at all bothered by having to remove their shoes. If you are a good host, most guests will be happy regardless of whether they are in their shoes or not.\\n\", \"Ultimately, it is your responsibility as a host to ensure that your guests feel welcome in your home. If your guests wish to keep their shoes on you must ask yourself which is more important – your flooring or your friends.\\n\", \"If you are inviting guests to a party, write your request for “no shoes” on the invitation.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Some people will not understand why you wish them to remove their shoes in your home, and may be offended.\\n\", \"In some cultures, having bare feet is a sign of disrespect.\\n\", \"Some people may have a good reason for not removing their shoes – be sure you know that they are not going to be embarrassed by your request.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,489 | How to Ask Where Someone Works | 1. Ask what their interests or passions are.
Someone’s interests may be the same as their job.
In this case, they might naturally bring up the place they work when they explain their passions to you--so this approach is great if you’re worried about being too direct.
For example, you can ask, “What do you like doing for fun?” or “What do you find interesting?”
2. Ask what their dream job or future aspirations are.
Someone may not be working where they want to be.
As a result, they may mention where they currently work while explaining their future goals.
For example, you can ask, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” or “If you could have any job, what would it be and why?” or “What are you looking forward to?”
3. Ask what their daily routine or life is like.
Work is a major part of many people’s daily lives.
Many full-time employees report working even more than 40 hours a week. When someone describes their daily routine, they may naturally mention where they are employed.
For example, you can ask, “What have you been up to these days?” or “How did your week go?”
4. Ask how they maintain work-life balance.
This might trigger a conversation about their job.
Though this question is more indirect, work-life balance can be a major part of someone’s current concerns. This may lead them to discuss what the work-life balance is like where they are currently employed.
For example, you can ask, “How has your work-life balance been lately?“ or “How is the work-life balance at your company?” or “What does a typical day at work look like for you?”
5. Ask for work or career advice.
People are often eager to share what they’ve learned in their career.
They may reference their specific workplace when giving career advice. However, if they give more general advice, you can try asking more specific follow-up questions to guide them to mentioning their employer.
For example, you can ask, “What is the most important thing you’ve learned while working?” or “What is something important to know about the industry?” or “What would you say are essential soft and hard skills to have at your company?”
Even if you don’t work in the same industry or have the same interests, getting career advice or even general tips can be really valuable. You may be able to use the advice to structure your own goals.
6. Ask how they feel about certain trends or topics within a field.
Referencing a specific industry might get them talking about their work.
This approach might be especially useful if you already know the field or industry someone works in, because there is less to narrow down.
For example, you can ask, “What excites you right now about your industry?” or “How is your company keeping up with publishing trends?” or “Is your company also shifting away from the current finance strategies?”
7. Ask what they like or dislike about their job.
This can be a great way to get someone talking about their specific workplace.
However, be aware that is more direct than simply asking about a topic or daily routine. It also means that you are assuming someone is employed.
For example, you can ask, “What's your favorite and least favorite part of your job?” or “What really excites you about your job?”
8. Ask about their education.
What somebody studied may correspond to their current job.
This provides an opportunity for them to tell a story rather than just give a one-word answer as they describe their job and possibly mention their employer. Even if this isn’t the case, the person may mention how they have changed jobs and ended up at their current workplace.
For example, you can ask, “What did you study in college?” or “What did you do after college?”
9. Mention where you work.
Help the other person feel more comfortable by bringing up the topic first.
It’s possible someone may not want to talk about work because they are afraid to offend you. If you mention your own workplace or employer first, you are establishing a common ground that the topic is okay and resonates with both of you.
10. Ask directly.
In certain settings it may not be impolite to simply ask directly.
Perhaps you are at a professional conference or business meeting where employment is a standard topic. Or, perhaps the conversation has been going well so far and you think that it wouldn’t be an uncomfortable topic. In these cases, you can consider asking directly while still encouraging the other person to tell a story about themselves.
For example, you can ask, “Which company are you working for right now and what was your path there?” or “May I ask where you are currently working, and why?”
Tips
Regardless of which approach you take, show that you are actively listening to the other person. Listening effectively and showing curiosity will help them feel that their thoughts are valued, and allow you to gain new information.[11]
X
Research source
Continue to ask questions throughout the conversation! Not only do people enjoy talking about themselves, but this can also help you find common ground.[12]
X
Research source
Overall, be cautious when deciding whether and how you should ask someone where they work in the first place. People may be unhappy with their jobs, retired, or not employed, so this can be a sensitive question. Even if you decide not to ask in the end, people spend so much time working that they may mention it themselves later.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Ask what their interests or passions are.\\nSomeone’s interests may be the same as their job.\\nIn this case, they might naturally bring up the place they work when they explain their passions to you--so this approach is great if you’re worried about being too direct.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What do you like doing for fun?” or “What do you find interesting?”\\n2. Ask what their dream job or future aspirations are.\\nSomeone may not be working where they want to be.\\nAs a result, they may mention where they currently work while explaining their future goals.\\nFor example, you can ask, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” or “If you could have any job, what would it be and why?” or “What are you looking forward to?”\\n3. Ask what their daily routine or life is like.\\nWork is a major part of many people’s daily lives.\\nMany full-time employees report working even more than 40 hours a week. When someone describes their daily routine, they may naturally mention where they are employed.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What have you been up to these days?” or “How did your week go?”\\n4. Ask how they maintain work-life balance.\\nThis might trigger a conversation about their job.\\nThough this question is more indirect, work-life balance can be a major part of someone’s current concerns. This may lead them to discuss what the work-life balance is like where they are currently employed.\\nFor example, you can ask, “How has your work-life balance been lately?“ or “How is the work-life balance at your company?” or “What does a typical day at work look like for you?”\\n5. Ask for work or career advice.\\nPeople are often eager to share what they’ve learned in their career.\\nThey may reference their specific workplace when giving career advice. However, if they give more general advice, you can try asking more specific follow-up questions to guide them to mentioning their employer.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What is the most important thing you’ve learned while working?” or “What is something important to know about the industry?” or “What would you say are essential soft and hard skills to have at your company?”\\nEven if you don’t work in the same industry or have the same interests, getting career advice or even general tips can be really valuable. You may be able to use the advice to structure your own goals.\\n6. Ask how they feel about certain trends or topics within a field.\\nReferencing a specific industry might get them talking about their work.\\nThis approach might be especially useful if you already know the field or industry someone works in, because there is less to narrow down.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What excites you right now about your industry?” or “How is your company keeping up with publishing trends?” or “Is your company also shifting away from the current finance strategies?”\\n7. Ask what they like or dislike about their job.\\nThis can be a great way to get someone talking about their specific workplace.\\nHowever, be aware that is more direct than simply asking about a topic or daily routine. It also means that you are assuming someone is employed. \\nFor example, you can ask, “What's your favorite and least favorite part of your job?” or “What really excites you about your job?”\\n8. Ask about their education.\\nWhat somebody studied may correspond to their current job.\\nThis provides an opportunity for them to tell a story rather than just give a one-word answer as they describe their job and possibly mention their employer. Even if this isn’t the case, the person may mention how they have changed jobs and ended up at their current workplace.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What did you study in college?” or “What did you do after college?”\\n9. Mention where you work.\\nHelp the other person feel more comfortable by bringing up the topic first.\\nIt’s possible someone may not want to talk about work because they are afraid to offend you. If you mention your own workplace or employer first, you are establishing a common ground that the topic is okay and resonates with both of you.\\n10. Ask directly.\\nIn certain settings it may not be impolite to simply ask directly.\\nPerhaps you are at a professional conference or business meeting where employment is a standard topic. Or, perhaps the conversation has been going well so far and you think that it wouldn’t be an uncomfortable topic. In these cases, you can consider asking directly while still encouraging the other person to tell a story about themselves.\\nFor example, you can ask, “Which company are you working for right now and what was your path there?” or “May I ask where you are currently working, and why?”\\nTips\\nRegardless of which approach you take, show that you are actively listening to the other person. Listening effectively and showing curiosity will help them feel that their thoughts are valued, and allow you to gain new information.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nContinue to ask questions throughout the conversation! Not only do people enjoy talking about themselves, but this can also help you find common ground.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nOverall, be cautious when deciding whether and how you should ask someone where they work in the first place. People may be unhappy with their jobs, retired, or not employed, so this can be a sensitive question. Even if you decide not to ask in the end, people spend so much time working that they may mention it themselves later.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you interested in learning where someone works? Maybe you just met someone and you want to get to know them better, or you’re hoping to get valuable career advice. Whatever the reason, asking directly can sometimes feel personal or overly specific, even though it's often a common or standard question. Don’t worry--in this article we’ll cover a variety of approaches and tips (both subtle and direct) that you can use to ask someone about their job while being as polite and sensitive as possible.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask what their interests or passions are.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Someone’s interests may be the same as their job.\", \"描述\": \"In this case, they might naturally bring up the place they work when they explain their passions to you--so this approach is great if you’re worried about being too direct.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What do you like doing for fun?” or “What do you find interesting?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask what their dream job or future aspirations are.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Someone may not be working where they want to be.\", \"描述\": \"As a result, they may mention where they currently work while explaining their future goals.\\nFor example, you can ask, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” or “If you could have any job, what would it be and why?” or “What are you looking forward to?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask what their daily routine or life is like.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work is a major part of many people’s daily lives.\", \"描述\": \"Many full-time employees report working even more than 40 hours a week. When someone describes their daily routine, they may naturally mention where they are employed.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What have you been up to these days?” or “How did your week go?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask how they maintain work-life balance.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This might trigger a conversation about their job.\", \"描述\": \"Though this question is more indirect, work-life balance can be a major part of someone’s current concerns. This may lead them to discuss what the work-life balance is like where they are currently employed.\\nFor example, you can ask, “How has your work-life balance been lately?“ or “How is the work-life balance at your company?” or “What does a typical day at work look like for you?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask for work or career advice.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"People are often eager to share what they’ve learned in their career.\", \"描述\": \"They may reference their specific workplace when giving career advice. However, if they give more general advice, you can try asking more specific follow-up questions to guide them to mentioning their employer.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What is the most important thing you’ve learned while working?” or “What is something important to know about the industry?” or “What would you say are essential soft and hard skills to have at your company?”\\nEven if you don’t work in the same industry or have the same interests, getting career advice or even general tips can be really valuable. You may be able to use the advice to structure your own goals.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask how they feel about certain trends or topics within a field.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Referencing a specific industry might get them talking about their work.\", \"描述\": \"This approach might be especially useful if you already know the field or industry someone works in, because there is less to narrow down.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What excites you right now about your industry?” or “How is your company keeping up with publishing trends?” or “Is your company also shifting away from the current finance strategies?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask what they like or dislike about their job.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This can be a great way to get someone talking about their specific workplace.\", \"描述\": \"However, be aware that is more direct than simply asking about a topic or daily routine. It also means that you are assuming someone is employed. \\nFor example, you can ask, “What's your favorite and least favorite part of your job?” or “What really excites you about your job?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask about their education.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"What somebody studied may correspond to their current job.\", \"描述\": \"This provides an opportunity for them to tell a story rather than just give a one-word answer as they describe their job and possibly mention their employer. Even if this isn’t the case, the person may mention how they have changed jobs and ended up at their current workplace.\\nFor example, you can ask, “What did you study in college?” or “What did you do after college?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Mention where you work.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help the other person feel more comfortable by bringing up the topic first.\", \"描述\": \"It’s possible someone may not want to talk about work because they are afraid to offend you. If you mention your own workplace or employer first, you are establishing a common ground that the topic is okay and resonates with both of you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Ask directly.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"In certain settings it may not be impolite to simply ask directly.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps you are at a professional conference or business meeting where employment is a standard topic. Or, perhaps the conversation has been going well so far and you think that it wouldn’t be an uncomfortable topic. In these cases, you can consider asking directly while still encouraging the other person to tell a story about themselves.\\nFor example, you can ask, “Which company are you working for right now and what was your path there?” or “May I ask where you are currently working, and why?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Regardless of which approach you take, show that you are actively listening to the other person. Listening effectively and showing curiosity will help them feel that their thoughts are valued, and allow you to gain new information.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Continue to ask questions throughout the conversation! Not only do people enjoy talking about themselves, but this can also help you find common ground.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Overall, be cautious when deciding whether and how you should ask someone where they work in the first place. People may be unhappy with their jobs, retired, or not employed, so this can be a sensitive question. Even if you decide not to ask in the end, people spend so much time working that they may mention it themselves later.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,490 | How to Ask Your Best Guy Friend Out | 1. Watch for signs he's interested in you.
Try to get a sense of whether the feeling is mutual.
If you sense mutual attraction, you may feel more comfortable eventually asking the guy out. Keep an eye out for signs of interest.
Watch his body language. If a guy wants to be more than friends, he'll use many excuses to touch you. He may offer a hug upon seeing you for the first time. He may brush his fingers on your forearm. You may also catch him looking at you during odd times.
He may also ask you questions to gauge whether you're interested. He may, for example, ask about your weekend plans. He may also ask if you have dates for certain events, and even offer to escort you as a friend.
2. Be confident around the guy.
If you want to be more than friends, work on conveying confidence around the guy.
If you want him to return your attraction, simple confidence goes a long way.
Many people feel inclined to be goofy or self-depreciating when first meeting people. While this tactic goes a long way in terms of making friends, it may falter when you're trying to attract a new romantic interest. Instead of jokingly poking fun at yourself, strive to convey confidence.
You can be funny. Funny can be very charming, but stick to making jokes about topics other than yourself. Try to be comfortable with yourself in general, smiling, standing up straight, and participating in conversation without hesitance.
3. Start being more physical.
If you want to show you're interested, start getting a little more physical with the guy.
Touch his forearm while talking. Sit closer to him than you usually would on the couch. Offer a hug when first seeing him at social events. A little physical contact can show you're interested in something more than friendship.
4. Flirt with him.
Flirtation is also key to showing a guy you're interested.
This can help pave the way to asking him out. Aim for subtle flirting at first, as not to make the relationship too awkward.
Brief eye contact can convey romantic interest. Catch the guy's gaze for a few seconds and then look away. You should also smile and act happy in general when around him.
Try to mimic his body language. Do not be too obvious about this, but try to imitate his hand gestures and the way he's positioning his body. For example, if he's crossing his legs, cross your legs as well.
5. Be straightforward about what you want.
Go for it and ask him out!
It's worth just giving it a shot and directly telling him how you feel–subtlety may not be your friend in this situation. If you're starting out as just friends, asking to get coffee or see a movie may not be enough to let the guy know it's a date. Make sure what you're asking is clear. Here are some things you can say:
Try to say what you want outright with something like, "Hey, I really like you. Would you like to go on a date sometime?"
Ask him how he feels, "Can I tell you something? I kind of like you... I was wondering, do you feel the same way?"
Go for a hypothetical question if you're nervous, "Hi. Random question. What would you say if I told you I had a crush on you?"
Talk about why you'd be good together, "I feel like we have a lot in common and there's some mutual attraction here. Would you want to go on a date with me?"
6. Know that you cannot predict what he will say.
Uncertainty is a big setback when it comes to transitioning from friends to more than friends.
Many people let the uncertainty of how a potential relationship will unfold hold them back. Accept there will be a lot of uncertainty when you try to push a relationship from friendship to something more.
Understand you cannot predict another person's behavior. Try not to get too hung up on how the guy may react. Go into the situation with no expectations.
It's okay to have some plan of what you're going to say. In fact, it can be helpful to have some small speech planned out to help yourself stay calm. However, avoid playing out scenarios in your mind regarding how the conversation may unfold, and how the guy may respond.
7. Take your time.
If you're feeling nervous, you may stumble over your words when asking someone out.
Do not try to rush the question. Instead, go slowly and make sure you say exactly what you want to say.
Take a few deep breaths before going into the conversation if you're feeling nervous.
Try to talk slowly. People have a tendency to rush if they're feeling nervous, so make a point of saying one word at a time.
8. Show you care.
In the event you and your guy friend do end up as more than friends, you'll have to work to establish extra intimacy.
In order to make it clear you're now more than friends, work to show you care.
Leave your guy friend surprises. Write him a special note telling him how much you care. Buy him a small present now and then.
Be more physically affectionate. Seek to hold hands and cuddle when you're together.
9. Reassure your guy friend you want the relationship.
Sometimes, the transition between friends and more than friends can be confusing.
It's a good idea to take measures to make sure your guy friend knows you want the relationship as much as he does.
It may be easier to communicate openly when you started out as friends. You can have open, honest discussions with your partner about what you want out of the relationship, and what expectations you have regarding a romantic relationship.
At first, you may have to reassure your partner a lot that you want the relationship. Let your partner know about once a week for the first few months you're happy to be more than friends.
10. Socialize as a team.
Another way to solidify the transition is altering how you socialize.
Try to stay together at parties. Interact with mutual friends as a couple instead of one-on-one. At parties, stay in the same conversations rather than talking to people individually. You'll feel more like a couple than friends if you start doing things as a "we" instead of a "you" and a "me."
11. Have patience.
It can take time for a friendship to feel like a romance.
Try not to have high expectations in regards to what your relationship will look like. It will take awhile to feel like more than friends, and there may be awkward or confusing interactions along the way. If you're committed to being more than friends, allow the transition to happen gradually. Stay patient and remember, if you really care about this person, the relationship will be worth it in the long run.
12. Prepare for rejection.
When asking anyone out, there's always a risk of rejection.
No matter how sure you are the feeling is mutual, you can't know for sure. Understand, going into the situation there's a chance the guy will say, "No." While you should not assume the worst, it's a good idea to prepare for the fact things may not go as well as you expected.
Try to stay positive in the event you're rejected. Remember, the two of you are friends. Even if things will not work out romantically, try to value the fact you still have a solid friendship.
13. Remain busy and engaged with other social obligations.
If you're really interested in someone, especially someone who's also a friend, you may be inclined to clear your schedule to make room for a potential date.
Refrain from doing so, however. If you make yourself completely available, while the other person remains occupied with his or her life, you risk creating an one-sided dynamic. You'll be left waiting for a text or call, while the guy carries on with his life.
Keep up with existing social obligations and plans until you've made solid plans for a date. Do not, for example, clear you're weekend because you're planning to ask the guy out.
Staying busy can also convey confidence, which can be attractive to many. Having your own life and obligations makes you look more desirable in the eye of the guy.
Warnings
Transitioning into a romantic relationship can potentially affect your friendship. Be aware that you may be putting your friendship at risk by pursuing a romantic relationship.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Watch for signs he's interested in you.\\nTry to get a sense of whether the feeling is mutual.\\nIf you sense mutual attraction, you may feel more comfortable eventually asking the guy out. Keep an eye out for signs of interest.\\nWatch his body language. If a guy wants to be more than friends, he'll use many excuses to touch you. He may offer a hug upon seeing you for the first time. He may brush his fingers on your forearm. You may also catch him looking at you during odd times.\\nHe may also ask you questions to gauge whether you're interested. He may, for example, ask about your weekend plans. He may also ask if you have dates for certain events, and even offer to escort you as a friend.\\n2. Be confident around the guy.\\nIf you want to be more than friends, work on conveying confidence around the guy.\\nIf you want him to return your attraction, simple confidence goes a long way.\\nMany people feel inclined to be goofy or self-depreciating when first meeting people. While this tactic goes a long way in terms of making friends, it may falter when you're trying to attract a new romantic interest. Instead of jokingly poking fun at yourself, strive to convey confidence.\\nYou can be funny. Funny can be very charming, but stick to making jokes about topics other than yourself. Try to be comfortable with yourself in general, smiling, standing up straight, and participating in conversation without hesitance.\\n3. Start being more physical.\\nIf you want to show you're interested, start getting a little more physical with the guy.\\nTouch his forearm while talking. Sit closer to him than you usually would on the couch. Offer a hug when first seeing him at social events. A little physical contact can show you're interested in something more than friendship.\\n4. Flirt with him.\\nFlirtation is also key to showing a guy you're interested.\\nThis can help pave the way to asking him out. Aim for subtle flirting at first, as not to make the relationship too awkward.\\nBrief eye contact can convey romantic interest. Catch the guy's gaze for a few seconds and then look away. You should also smile and act happy in general when around him.\\nTry to mimic his body language. Do not be too obvious about this, but try to imitate his hand gestures and the way he's positioning his body. For example, if he's crossing his legs, cross your legs as well.\\n5. Be straightforward about what you want.\\nGo for it and ask him out!\\nIt's worth just giving it a shot and directly telling him how you feel–subtlety may not be your friend in this situation. If you're starting out as just friends, asking to get coffee or see a movie may not be enough to let the guy know it's a date. Make sure what you're asking is clear. Here are some things you can say:\\nTry to say what you want outright with something like, \\\"Hey, I really like you. Would you like to go on a date sometime?\\\"\\nAsk him how he feels, \\\"Can I tell you something? I kind of like you... I was wondering, do you feel the same way?\\\"\\nGo for a hypothetical question if you're nervous, \\\"Hi. Random question. What would you say if I told you I had a crush on you?\\\"\\nTalk about why you'd be good together, \\\"I feel like we have a lot in common and there's some mutual attraction here. Would you want to go on a date with me?\\\"\\n6. Know that you cannot predict what he will say.\\nUncertainty is a big setback when it comes to transitioning from friends to more than friends.\\nMany people let the uncertainty of how a potential relationship will unfold hold them back. Accept there will be a lot of uncertainty when you try to push a relationship from friendship to something more.\\nUnderstand you cannot predict another person's behavior. Try not to get too hung up on how the guy may react. Go into the situation with no expectations.\\nIt's okay to have some plan of what you're going to say. In fact, it can be helpful to have some small speech planned out to help yourself stay calm. However, avoid playing out scenarios in your mind regarding how the conversation may unfold, and how the guy may respond.\\n7. Take your time.\\nIf you're feeling nervous, you may stumble over your words when asking someone out.\\nDo not try to rush the question. Instead, go slowly and make sure you say exactly what you want to say.\\nTake a few deep breaths before going into the conversation if you're feeling nervous.\\nTry to talk slowly. People have a tendency to rush if they're feeling nervous, so make a point of saying one word at a time.\\n8. Show you care.\\nIn the event you and your guy friend do end up as more than friends, you'll have to work to establish extra intimacy.\\nIn order to make it clear you're now more than friends, work to show you care.\\nLeave your guy friend surprises. Write him a special note telling him how much you care. Buy him a small present now and then.\\nBe more physically affectionate. Seek to hold hands and cuddle when you're together.\\n9. Reassure your guy friend you want the relationship.\\nSometimes, the transition between friends and more than friends can be confusing.\\nIt's a good idea to take measures to make sure your guy friend knows you want the relationship as much as he does.\\nIt may be easier to communicate openly when you started out as friends. You can have open, honest discussions with your partner about what you want out of the relationship, and what expectations you have regarding a romantic relationship.\\nAt first, you may have to reassure your partner a lot that you want the relationship. Let your partner know about once a week for the first few months you're happy to be more than friends.\\n10. Socialize as a team.\\nAnother way to solidify the transition is altering how you socialize.\\nTry to stay together at parties. Interact with mutual friends as a couple instead of one-on-one. At parties, stay in the same conversations rather than talking to people individually. You'll feel more like a couple than friends if you start doing things as a \\\"we\\\" instead of a \\\"you\\\" and a \\\"me.\\\"\\n11. Have patience.\\nIt can take time for a friendship to feel like a romance.\\nTry not to have high expectations in regards to what your relationship will look like. It will take awhile to feel like more than friends, and there may be awkward or confusing interactions along the way. If you're committed to being more than friends, allow the transition to happen gradually. Stay patient and remember, if you really care about this person, the relationship will be worth it in the long run.\\n12. Prepare for rejection.\\nWhen asking anyone out, there's always a risk of rejection.\\nNo matter how sure you are the feeling is mutual, you can't know for sure. Understand, going into the situation there's a chance the guy will say, \\\"No.\\\" While you should not assume the worst, it's a good idea to prepare for the fact things may not go as well as you expected.\\nTry to stay positive in the event you're rejected. Remember, the two of you are friends. Even if things will not work out romantically, try to value the fact you still have a solid friendship.\\n13. Remain busy and engaged with other social obligations.\\nIf you're really interested in someone, especially someone who's also a friend, you may be inclined to clear your schedule to make room for a potential date.\\nRefrain from doing so, however. If you make yourself completely available, while the other person remains occupied with his or her life, you risk creating an one-sided dynamic. You'll be left waiting for a text or call, while the guy carries on with his life.\\nKeep up with existing social obligations and plans until you've made solid plans for a date. Do not, for example, clear you're weekend because you're planning to ask the guy out.\\nStaying busy can also convey confidence, which can be attractive to many. Having your own life and obligations makes you look more desirable in the eye of the guy.\\nWarnings\\nTransitioning into a romantic relationship can potentially affect your friendship. Be aware that you may be putting your friendship at risk by pursuing a romantic relationship.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's not uncommon to develop feelings for a friend. In fact, the emotional intimacy you feel in friendship is often similar to feelings of intimacy you would feel in a romantic relationship. Many successful romantic relationships began as friendships. If you want to ask your guy friend out, it just takes a little time and courage. Spend a bit of time establishing that you're interested by flirting and becoming more physical. When you feel ready, ask him out in a straightforward manner. If you begin dating, work on a smooth transition from just friends to something more.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch for signs he's interested in you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to get a sense of whether the feeling is mutual.\", \"描述\": \"If you sense mutual attraction, you may feel more comfortable eventually asking the guy out. Keep an eye out for signs of interest.\\nWatch his body language. If a guy wants to be more than friends, he'll use many excuses to touch you. He may offer a hug upon seeing you for the first time. He may brush his fingers on your forearm. You may also catch him looking at you during odd times.\\nHe may also ask you questions to gauge whether you're interested. He may, for example, ask about your weekend plans. He may also ask if you have dates for certain events, and even offer to escort you as a friend.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident around the guy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you want to be more than friends, work on conveying confidence around the guy.\", \"描述\": \"If you want him to return your attraction, simple confidence goes a long way.\\nMany people feel inclined to be goofy or self-depreciating when first meeting people. While this tactic goes a long way in terms of making friends, it may falter when you're trying to attract a new romantic interest. Instead of jokingly poking fun at yourself, strive to convey confidence.\\nYou can be funny. Funny can be very charming, but stick to making jokes about topics other than yourself. Try to be comfortable with yourself in general, smiling, standing up straight, and participating in conversation without hesitance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start being more physical.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you want to show you're interested, start getting a little more physical with the guy.\", \"描述\": \"Touch his forearm while talking. Sit closer to him than you usually would on the couch. Offer a hug when first seeing him at social events. A little physical contact can show you're interested in something more than friendship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flirt with him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Flirtation is also key to showing a guy you're interested.\", \"描述\": \"This can help pave the way to asking him out. Aim for subtle flirting at first, as not to make the relationship too awkward.\\nBrief eye contact can convey romantic interest. Catch the guy's gaze for a few seconds and then look away. You should also smile and act happy in general when around him.\\nTry to mimic his body language. Do not be too obvious about this, but try to imitate his hand gestures and the way he's positioning his body. For example, if he's crossing his legs, cross your legs as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be straightforward about what you want.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go for it and ask him out!\", \"描述\": \"It's worth just giving it a shot and directly telling him how you feel–subtlety may not be your friend in this situation. If you're starting out as just friends, asking to get coffee or see a movie may not be enough to let the guy know it's a date. Make sure what you're asking is clear. Here are some things you can say:\\nTry to say what you want outright with something like, \\\"Hey, I really like you. Would you like to go on a date sometime?\\\"\\nAsk him how he feels, \\\"Can I tell you something? I kind of like you... I was wondering, do you feel the same way?\\\"\\nGo for a hypothetical question if you're nervous, \\\"Hi. Random question. What would you say if I told you I had a crush on you?\\\"\\nTalk about why you'd be good together, \\\"I feel like we have a lot in common and there's some mutual attraction here. Would you want to go on a date with me?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know that you cannot predict what he will say.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Uncertainty is a big setback when it comes to transitioning from friends to more than friends.\", \"描述\": \"Many people let the uncertainty of how a potential relationship will unfold hold them back. Accept there will be a lot of uncertainty when you try to push a relationship from friendship to something more.\\nUnderstand you cannot predict another person's behavior. Try not to get too hung up on how the guy may react. Go into the situation with no expectations.\\nIt's okay to have some plan of what you're going to say. In fact, it can be helpful to have some small speech planned out to help yourself stay calm. However, avoid playing out scenarios in your mind regarding how the conversation may unfold, and how the guy may respond.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take your time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you're feeling nervous, you may stumble over your words when asking someone out.\", \"描述\": \"Do not try to rush the question. Instead, go slowly and make sure you say exactly what you want to say.\\nTake a few deep breaths before going into the conversation if you're feeling nervous.\\nTry to talk slowly. People have a tendency to rush if they're feeling nervous, so make a point of saying one word at a time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Show you care.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"In the event you and your guy friend do end up as more than friends, you'll have to work to establish extra intimacy.\", \"描述\": \"In order to make it clear you're now more than friends, work to show you care.\\nLeave your guy friend surprises. Write him a special note telling him how much you care. Buy him a small present now and then.\\nBe more physically affectionate. Seek to hold hands and cuddle when you're together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Reassure your guy friend you want the relationship.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes, the transition between friends and more than friends can be confusing.\", \"描述\": \"It's a good idea to take measures to make sure your guy friend knows you want the relationship as much as he does.\\nIt may be easier to communicate openly when you started out as friends. You can have open, honest discussions with your partner about what you want out of the relationship, and what expectations you have regarding a romantic relationship.\\nAt first, you may have to reassure your partner a lot that you want the relationship. Let your partner know about once a week for the first few months you're happy to be more than friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Socialize as a team.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Another way to solidify the transition is altering how you socialize.\", \"描述\": \"Try to stay together at parties. Interact with mutual friends as a couple instead of one-on-one. At parties, stay in the same conversations rather than talking to people individually. You'll feel more like a couple than friends if you start doing things as a \\\"we\\\" instead of a \\\"you\\\" and a \\\"me.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Have patience.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It can take time for a friendship to feel like a romance.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to have high expectations in regards to what your relationship will look like. It will take awhile to feel like more than friends, and there may be awkward or confusing interactions along the way. If you're committed to being more than friends, allow the transition to happen gradually. Stay patient and remember, if you really care about this person, the relationship will be worth it in the long run.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Prepare for rejection.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When asking anyone out, there's always a risk of rejection.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how sure you are the feeling is mutual, you can't know for sure. Understand, going into the situation there's a chance the guy will say, \\\"No.\\\" While you should not assume the worst, it's a good idea to prepare for the fact things may not go as well as you expected.\\nTry to stay positive in the event you're rejected. Remember, the two of you are friends. Even if things will not work out romantically, try to value the fact you still have a solid friendship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Remain busy and engaged with other social obligations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you're really interested in someone, especially someone who's also a friend, you may be inclined to clear your schedule to make room for a potential date.\", \"描述\": \"Refrain from doing so, however. If you make yourself completely available, while the other person remains occupied with his or her life, you risk creating an one-sided dynamic. You'll be left waiting for a text or call, while the guy carries on with his life.\\nKeep up with existing social obligations and plans until you've made solid plans for a date. Do not, for example, clear you're weekend because you're planning to ask the guy out.\\nStaying busy can also convey confidence, which can be attractive to many. Having your own life and obligations makes you look more desirable in the eye of the guy.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Transitioning into a romantic relationship can potentially affect your friendship. Be aware that you may be putting your friendship at risk by pursuing a romantic relationship.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,491 | How to Ask Your Boss for a Letter of Recommendation | 1. Choosing Your Approach
1-1. Ask well in advance.
Employers tend to be busy, and will likely answer with a polite “no” if you ask them to write a letter only a couple of days before it’s due. Ask your boss for a letter of recommendation at least two or three months in advance, so that they’ll have enough time to reflect on your work and can write a thoughtful letter that isn’t rushed.
If you’ll be leaving the company to seek further employment, and would like a letter of recommendation from your boss, consider asking up to six months in advance. This will give your boss enough time to look for a suitable replacement.
1-2. Make your request at an opportune moment.
Even if you’re asking for a letter of recommendation well in advance, it would be unwise to present your question to your boss when there’s a looming deadline, or in the middle of an office crisis. Time your request so that you’re asking during a period of relative calm.
For example, if you’re in the middle of a project, wait until you’ve completed the work. Then, when asking your boss for the letter, mention the hard work that you put into the project.
1-3. Ask to meet in person.
Ask your supervisor if they have time to meet with you face-to-face during the next week or two. Let your boss pick the time and date, and if your boss is curious as to why you’re asking to meet, you can say something brief, like “I’d like to ask you for a professional favor.”
It’s always wise to ask for a letter of recommendation in person; asking via email can seem impersonal or distant. That said, if you or your boss are traveling for a long period of time, or if the letter is time-sensitive, you can ask via email if necessary.
2. Asking for the Recommendation
2-1. Make your request direct and clear.
There’s no reason to be subtle or ambiguous when asking for a letter. If you’re meeting face-to-face, speak clearly and confidently: ask if your boss will write you a letter of recommendation, explain the context for which you need the letter, and give the date by which you’ll need the letter in hand. For example, say something like:
“I’m applying to graduate school, and hoping to begin next fall. I know the letters of recommendation will carry a lot of weight with the selection committee and, since you’ve been my supervisor for several years, I’d appreciate if you would write a letter recommending me on the strength of my work and my work ethic.”
2-2. Present your request positively.
Your boss may be disappointed to find out that they’re losing an employee, especially if you’re requesting the letter of recommendation to apply to a different company. So, frame the request in a positive light: remind your boss of the good work you’ve done at the company, and make it clear that the recommendation will help you advance your career.
Say something like, “I’ve enjoyed my 10 years of work here, and during that time I feel that I’ve contributed valuable work to the company. I’ve decided to advance my career by applying for a position at XYZ Company. Would you be willing to write me a letter of recommendation for the new position?”
2-3. Explain to your boss why you’re asking them.
Regardless of the context in which you’re asking for a letter of recommendation (e.g. housing application, volunteer position, or new job), your boss will need to know why you’re asking them specifically. When making your request, use specific language so your boss understands why you want their letter of recommendation. For example, say:
“I’d like you to write this letter because I think you have a good understanding of my work ethic and how much I devote myself to projects and assignments that come my way.”
“A recommendation from you would show my new supervisor that I get along well with people in management and can follow directions well.”
3. Ensuring a Helpful Recommendation
3-1. Provide a loose template.
“Letter of recommendation” can be a broad category, so in order to make the task easier on your boss—and in order to receive a better letter—provide them with some specifics about what you’d like them to mention in the letter. You don’t want to come across as singing your own praises or trying to write the letter for them. But, by giving your boss an idea of the template the letter could follow, you’ll make their task easier and receive a better letter. For example, say something like:
“I’d appreciate if you mentioned early in the letter that we’ve worked together for 10 years; that should give your endorsement more authority.”
“Since this is for a housing application, it would help if you mentioned my ability to keep my workspace clean and to meet financial deadlines.”
3-2. Confirm that your boss will give you a positive recommendation.
Even if your boss agrees to write you a letter, you should double-check to make sure that the letter will describe you as a strong candidate for the job, volunteer position, or housing situation that you’re applying for. If you don’t, you run the risk of finding out after the fact that your boss gave you a negative or lukewarm recommendation.
Say something like, “I just wanted to make sure that the letter you’re going to write will be a strong endorsement of me and not contain negative information.”
3-3. Provide your boss with the necessary documents.
In order to write a convincing and detailed letter of recommendation, your boss will need information and documents regarding your professional achievements. Send your boss a copy of your CV or résumé, an example of recent work that you’ve produced, and details about the position or program that you’re applying to.
Also be ready to refresh your boss’s memory regarding details work you’ve done in your current position. Most supervisors manage many employees, and will need reminding about specifics of work that individuals have performed.
3-4. Allow your boss to say “no”.
Despite your best efforts, your supervisor may decline to write you a letter of recommendation. This could be because they’re unhappy that you’re leaving to pursue a different job or have been dissatisfied with your performance at work, among other reasons. While you’re welcome to inquire as to your boss’s reasoning, you should not attempt to convince or cajole them into writing the letter.
If your boss declines (whether over email or face-to-face) to write you a letter, remain polite and do not become angry.
Say something brief, such as: “I understand your reason for declining. Thank you for at least considering my request.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing Your Approach\\n1-1. Ask well in advance.\\nEmployers tend to be busy, and will likely answer with a polite “no” if you ask them to write a letter only a couple of days before it’s due. Ask your boss for a letter of recommendation at least two or three months in advance, so that they’ll have enough time to reflect on your work and can write a thoughtful letter that isn’t rushed.\\nIf you’ll be leaving the company to seek further employment, and would like a letter of recommendation from your boss, consider asking up to six months in advance. This will give your boss enough time to look for a suitable replacement.\\n1-2. Make your request at an opportune moment.\\nEven if you’re asking for a letter of recommendation well in advance, it would be unwise to present your question to your boss when there’s a looming deadline, or in the middle of an office crisis. Time your request so that you’re asking during a period of relative calm.\\nFor example, if you’re in the middle of a project, wait until you’ve completed the work. Then, when asking your boss for the letter, mention the hard work that you put into the project.\\n1-3. Ask to meet in person.\\nAsk your supervisor if they have time to meet with you face-to-face during the next week or two. Let your boss pick the time and date, and if your boss is curious as to why you’re asking to meet, you can say something brief, like “I’d like to ask you for a professional favor.”\\nIt’s always wise to ask for a letter of recommendation in person; asking via email can seem impersonal or distant. That said, if you or your boss are traveling for a long period of time, or if the letter is time-sensitive, you can ask via email if necessary.\\n2. Asking for the Recommendation\\n2-1. Make your request direct and clear.\\nThere’s no reason to be subtle or ambiguous when asking for a letter. If you’re meeting face-to-face, speak clearly and confidently: ask if your boss will write you a letter of recommendation, explain the context for which you need the letter, and give the date by which you’ll need the letter in hand. For example, say something like:\\n“I’m applying to graduate school, and hoping to begin next fall. I know the letters of recommendation will carry a lot of weight with the selection committee and, since you’ve been my supervisor for several years, I’d appreciate if you would write a letter recommending me on the strength of my work and my work ethic.”\\n2-2. Present your request positively.\\nYour boss may be disappointed to find out that they’re losing an employee, especially if you’re requesting the letter of recommendation to apply to a different company. So, frame the request in a positive light: remind your boss of the good work you’ve done at the company, and make it clear that the recommendation will help you advance your career.\\nSay something like, “I’ve enjoyed my 10 years of work here, and during that time I feel that I’ve contributed valuable work to the company. I’ve decided to advance my career by applying for a position at XYZ Company. Would you be willing to write me a letter of recommendation for the new position?”\\n2-3. Explain to your boss why you’re asking them.\\nRegardless of the context in which you’re asking for a letter of recommendation (e.g. housing application, volunteer position, or new job), your boss will need to know why you’re asking them specifically. When making your request, use specific language so your boss understands why you want their letter of recommendation. For example, say:\\n“I’d like you to write this letter because I think you have a good understanding of my work ethic and how much I devote myself to projects and assignments that come my way.”\\n“A recommendation from you would show my new supervisor that I get along well with people in management and can follow directions well.”\\n3. Ensuring a Helpful Recommendation\\n3-1. Provide a loose template.\\n“Letter of recommendation” can be a broad category, so in order to make the task easier on your boss—and in order to receive a better letter—provide them with some specifics about what you’d like them to mention in the letter. You don’t want to come across as singing your own praises or trying to write the letter for them. But, by giving your boss an idea of the template the letter could follow, you’ll make their task easier and receive a better letter. For example, say something like:\\n“I’d appreciate if you mentioned early in the letter that we’ve worked together for 10 years; that should give your endorsement more authority.”\\n“Since this is for a housing application, it would help if you mentioned my ability to keep my workspace clean and to meet financial deadlines.”\\n3-2. Confirm that your boss will give you a positive recommendation.\\nEven if your boss agrees to write you a letter, you should double-check to make sure that the letter will describe you as a strong candidate for the job, volunteer position, or housing situation that you’re applying for. If you don’t, you run the risk of finding out after the fact that your boss gave you a negative or lukewarm recommendation.\\nSay something like, “I just wanted to make sure that the letter you’re going to write will be a strong endorsement of me and not contain negative information.”\\n3-3. Provide your boss with the necessary documents.\\nIn order to write a convincing and detailed letter of recommendation, your boss will need information and documents regarding your professional achievements. Send your boss a copy of your CV or résumé, an example of recent work that you’ve produced, and details about the position or program that you’re applying to.\\nAlso be ready to refresh your boss’s memory regarding details work you’ve done in your current position. Most supervisors manage many employees, and will need reminding about specifics of work that individuals have performed.\\n3-4. Allow your boss to say “no”.\\nDespite your best efforts, your supervisor may decline to write you a letter of recommendation. This could be because they’re unhappy that you’re leaving to pursue a different job or have been dissatisfied with your performance at work, among other reasons. While you’re welcome to inquire as to your boss’s reasoning, you should not attempt to convince or cajole them into writing the letter.\\nIf your boss declines (whether over email or face-to-face) to write you a letter, remain polite and do not become angry.\\nSay something brief, such as: “I understand your reason for declining. Thank you for at least considering my request.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking your current boss for a letter of recommendation can be a touchy subject, depending on the reason you need the letter. Most supervisors will be willing to write a letter if you’re applying for a non-work opportunity, such as a competitive housing opportunity or a volunteer position. However, your boss may be less willing to write a letter if you’re planning to quit and apply to a different job. Regardless, when asking for a letter, give your boss a clear idea of what context the letter should be written for, and give them at least two full months to write the letter.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing Your Approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask well in advance.\", \"描述\": \"Employers tend to be busy, and will likely answer with a polite “no” if you ask them to write a letter only a couple of days before it’s due. Ask your boss for a letter of recommendation at least two or three months in advance, so that they’ll have enough time to reflect on your work and can write a thoughtful letter that isn’t rushed.\\nIf you’ll be leaving the company to seek further employment, and would like a letter of recommendation from your boss, consider asking up to six months in advance. This will give your boss enough time to look for a suitable replacement.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make your request at an opportune moment.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you’re asking for a letter of recommendation well in advance, it would be unwise to present your question to your boss when there’s a looming deadline, or in the middle of an office crisis. Time your request so that you’re asking during a period of relative calm.\\nFor example, if you’re in the middle of a project, wait until you’ve completed the work. Then, when asking your boss for the letter, mention the hard work that you put into the project.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask to meet in person.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your supervisor if they have time to meet with you face-to-face during the next week or two. Let your boss pick the time and date, and if your boss is curious as to why you’re asking to meet, you can say something brief, like “I’d like to ask you for a professional favor.”\\nIt’s always wise to ask for a letter of recommendation in person; asking via email can seem impersonal or distant. That said, if you or your boss are traveling for a long period of time, or if the letter is time-sensitive, you can ask via email if necessary.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking for the Recommendation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your request direct and clear.\", \"描述\": \"There’s no reason to be subtle or ambiguous when asking for a letter. If you’re meeting face-to-face, speak clearly and confidently: ask if your boss will write you a letter of recommendation, explain the context for which you need the letter, and give the date by which you’ll need the letter in hand. For example, say something like:\\n“I’m applying to graduate school, and hoping to begin next fall. I know the letters of recommendation will carry a lot of weight with the selection committee and, since you’ve been my supervisor for several years, I’d appreciate if you would write a letter recommending me on the strength of my work and my work ethic.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Present your request positively.\", \"描述\": \"Your boss may be disappointed to find out that they’re losing an employee, especially if you’re requesting the letter of recommendation to apply to a different company. So, frame the request in a positive light: remind your boss of the good work you’ve done at the company, and make it clear that the recommendation will help you advance your career.\\nSay something like, “I’ve enjoyed my 10 years of work here, and during that time I feel that I’ve contributed valuable work to the company. I’ve decided to advance my career by applying for a position at XYZ Company. Would you be willing to write me a letter of recommendation for the new position?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explain to your boss why you’re asking them.\", \"描述\": \"Regardless of the context in which you’re asking for a letter of recommendation (e.g. housing application, volunteer position, or new job), your boss will need to know why you’re asking them specifically. When making your request, use specific language so your boss understands why you want their letter of recommendation. For example, say:\\n“I’d like you to write this letter because I think you have a good understanding of my work ethic and how much I devote myself to projects and assignments that come my way.”\\n“A recommendation from you would show my new supervisor that I get along well with people in management and can follow directions well.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ensuring a Helpful Recommendation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Provide a loose template.\", \"描述\": \"“Letter of recommendation” can be a broad category, so in order to make the task easier on your boss—and in order to receive a better letter—provide them with some specifics about what you’d like them to mention in the letter. You don’t want to come across as singing your own praises or trying to write the letter for them. But, by giving your boss an idea of the template the letter could follow, you’ll make their task easier and receive a better letter. For example, say something like:\\n“I’d appreciate if you mentioned early in the letter that we’ve worked together for 10 years; that should give your endorsement more authority.”\\n“Since this is for a housing application, it would help if you mentioned my ability to keep my workspace clean and to meet financial deadlines.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Confirm that your boss will give you a positive recommendation.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your boss agrees to write you a letter, you should double-check to make sure that the letter will describe you as a strong candidate for the job, volunteer position, or housing situation that you’re applying for. If you don’t, you run the risk of finding out after the fact that your boss gave you a negative or lukewarm recommendation.\\nSay something like, “I just wanted to make sure that the letter you’re going to write will be a strong endorsement of me and not contain negative information.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Provide your boss with the necessary documents.\", \"描述\": \"In order to write a convincing and detailed letter of recommendation, your boss will need information and documents regarding your professional achievements. Send your boss a copy of your CV or résumé, an example of recent work that you’ve produced, and details about the position or program that you’re applying to.\\nAlso be ready to refresh your boss’s memory regarding details work you’ve done in your current position. Most supervisors manage many employees, and will need reminding about specifics of work that individuals have performed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Allow your boss to say “no”.\", \"描述\": \"Despite your best efforts, your supervisor may decline to write you a letter of recommendation. This could be because they’re unhappy that you’re leaving to pursue a different job or have been dissatisfied with your performance at work, among other reasons. While you’re welcome to inquire as to your boss’s reasoning, you should not attempt to convince or cajole them into writing the letter.\\nIf your boss declines (whether over email or face-to-face) to write you a letter, remain polite and do not become angry.\\nSay something brief, such as: “I understand your reason for declining. Thank you for at least considering my request.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,492 | How to Ask Your Boyfriend for His Hoodie over Text | 1. “Can I wear your hoodie?”
Ask in a straightforward way to see how he feels about sharing.
Sometimes, the easiest way to get what you want is to just be confident and upfront. Who knows: his answer could be “yes” on your first try!
If his answer isn’t yes, you might have to try a more persuasive (or tricky) text to get that hoodie.
2. “Your hoodie looks so good on you. I wonder how it looks on me!”
Tell him you love his hoodie so much and you just want in on the fun.
If you think your boyfriend’s hoodie is big, soft, and comfy, you should tell him! He might just feel inclined to see how big, soft, and comfy it looks on you.
Keep piling on the compliments, and you might not even have to ask to borrow it: he might just offer it to you because you like it so much!
3. “Wearing your hoodie would make me feel super confident.”
Let him know that you love and crave his energy and support.
Your boyfriend probably makes you feel really good and confident, so let him know! Make it sound like these feelings come from his hoodie.
If you really want to play this up, compliment him on how powerful and manly he looks in his hoodie.
This is especially effective if you have something you need good luck for, like a test or presentation.
4. “I’m so cold. Sure wish I had your hoodie right now.”
Convince him that you should hold onto it…for your health!
Most boyfriends love coming to their partners’ rescue. Why not use this to your advantage? A little guilt could motivate him to bring you his sweatshirt.
After you get a hold of it, he might let you keep it so he’s “always” keeping you warm.
5. “I’ll meet you there! Can you bring me a hoodie?”
Suggest an outdoor activity and say you can’t stop by home first.
Asking your boyfriend to bring you a change or layer of clothes is totally normal. Recommend that you meet up somewhere and make it sound like you don’t have a jacket with you and don’t have time to grab one.
Plan to go somewhere directly from somewhere else, like school or work to a park.
Make your plans sound time-sensitive if he asks why you can’t go home first.
For example, “We have to catch the sunset!” or “It’s a surprise!”
6. “Will you give me your hoodie like they do in the movies?”
Assure him that giving you his hoodie is a romantic gesture.
Wearing your partner’s clothing is a classic way to show other people that you’re in love. Tell your boyfriend this so he feels like giving you his hoodie to keep you warm would be a proper, old-school boyfriend move on his part!
If he doesn’t get it, mention all the classic movies and shows you’ve seen where a guy is chivalrous by sharing his jacket.
Don’t be afraid to be corny and over-the-top. For example, you could be like “Haven’t you seen the end of Titanic? Don’t you want to be my Jack?!”
7. “Science says you should let me wear your hoodie!”
Use silly but truthful logic to convince him to give you his hoodie.
It’s true! Wearing something that belongs to a loved one has aphrodisiac effects. In other words, wearing his clothes will only make you fall more in love with him. What boyfriend could turn that down?
This is because of pheromones, but you probably won’t have to explain it too thoroughly before your charm and humor win him over. “I heard wearing something with your significant other’s scent strengthens your feelings for them!”
8. “Can I wear your hoodie? I miss you and it smells like you.”
Compliment his smell to make him feel sexy and loved.
It’s not uncommon for people to want the smell of their significant other on them. After all, scent plays a huge role in attraction. Tell him his scent is sexy, and that it reminds you of him. Also, most guys secretly love being told they smell good. You get his hoodie, he gets a self-confidence boost. Win-win.
Plus, smell has a huge effect on memory, so you can tell him he’ll always be thinking of him. (Awww.)
This is especially effective if you guys don’t live together or see each other super often.
9. “I want to sleep in your hoodie so it’s like we’re together.”
Play the “I miss you” card so he feels better about giving it to you.
Even if you don’t usually sleep next to your boyfriend, feeling his warmth in bed can be really comforting. Tell your boyfriend you miss him so much that you just want something to remind you of him while he’s not with you.
If you think talking about sleeping together is a little too intimate for your boyfriend, you can switch it out for something more casual.
For example, “I want to walk around in your hoodie so it’s like you’re walking with me.”
10. “I want to wear your hoodie so people know I’m taken.”
Entice him by saying his hoodie is a status symbol to you.
If you’re wearing something that obviously belongs to your boyfriend, people will know you’re off the market. To other guys, it says you already belong to someone else. Use this logic to convince your guy that this will protect you from prying eyes!
This is especially the case if you’re a girl wearing your boyfriend’s clothes.
That being said, if you’re wearing anything that fits or looks different from what you’d normally wear, people will probably be able to connect the dots.
11. “I promise I won’t get your hoodie dirty if you let me wear it.”
Swear to treat his belongings with the utmost care to win his trust.
You probably weren’t planning on getting his hoodie dirty, but your boyfriend might not know that! Assure him that you want to wear it because you love him and respect his belongings.
If he’s really anxious, offer to wash it for him before you give it back.
12. “Can I borrow your hoodie until Friday?”
Promise to give it back to ease his nerves.
If your boyfriend has issues with sharing his hoodie because he’s afraid he won’t get it back, give him a day you’ll return it by. Make sure the amount of time is reasonable so he’s sure you won’t forget.
If he doesn’t agree to your offer, you might have to compromise a bit so you’re both happy.
Negotiate nicely to convince him! For example, “I totally understand. Can I just wear it now and give it back to you after class?”
If you keep your promise this time, he might let you keep it longer next time.
13. “Could I wear a hoodie of yours that you never wear?”
Compromise for another hoodie if he won’t give you your first choice.
Some people have certain articles of clothing that they just can’t let anyone else wear. That doesn’t mean there isn’t another one he won’t give you! If you can’t get your first choice hoodie, maybe you can get your second or third. Better than nothing, right?
Try to not take it personally if he doesn’t let go of his absolute favorite hoodie.
14. “Can I wear your hoodie? You can say no.”
Respect his boundaries to show him you have his best interest in mind.
You might be able to convince your boyfriend to say “yes” by giving him the option to say “no.” This will make your request less forceful and show him that you’re taking his feelings into account.
Remember to keep your word: you’ve got to respect his decision if he says no.
Just because he said no this time doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind later!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “Can I wear your hoodie?”\\nAsk in a straightforward way to see how he feels about sharing.\\nSometimes, the easiest way to get what you want is to just be confident and upfront. Who knows: his answer could be “yes” on your first try!\\nIf his answer isn’t yes, you might have to try a more persuasive (or tricky) text to get that hoodie.\\n2. “Your hoodie looks so good on you. I wonder how it looks on me!”\\nTell him you love his hoodie so much and you just want in on the fun.\\nIf you think your boyfriend’s hoodie is big, soft, and comfy, you should tell him! He might just feel inclined to see how big, soft, and comfy it looks on you.\\nKeep piling on the compliments, and you might not even have to ask to borrow it: he might just offer it to you because you like it so much!\\n3. “Wearing your hoodie would make me feel super confident.”\\nLet him know that you love and crave his energy and support.\\nYour boyfriend probably makes you feel really good and confident, so let him know! Make it sound like these feelings come from his hoodie.\\nIf you really want to play this up, compliment him on how powerful and manly he looks in his hoodie.\\nThis is especially effective if you have something you need good luck for, like a test or presentation.\\n4. “I’m so cold. Sure wish I had your hoodie right now.”\\nConvince him that you should hold onto it…for your health!\\nMost boyfriends love coming to their partners’ rescue. Why not use this to your advantage? A little guilt could motivate him to bring you his sweatshirt.\\nAfter you get a hold of it, he might let you keep it so he’s “always” keeping you warm.\\n5. “I’ll meet you there! Can you bring me a hoodie?”\\nSuggest an outdoor activity and say you can’t stop by home first.\\nAsking your boyfriend to bring you a change or layer of clothes is totally normal. Recommend that you meet up somewhere and make it sound like you don’t have a jacket with you and don’t have time to grab one.\\nPlan to go somewhere directly from somewhere else, like school or work to a park.\\nMake your plans sound time-sensitive if he asks why you can’t go home first.\\nFor example, “We have to catch the sunset!” or “It’s a surprise!”\\n6. “Will you give me your hoodie like they do in the movies?”\\nAssure him that giving you his hoodie is a romantic gesture.\\nWearing your partner’s clothing is a classic way to show other people that you’re in love. Tell your boyfriend this so he feels like giving you his hoodie to keep you warm would be a proper, old-school boyfriend move on his part!\\nIf he doesn’t get it, mention all the classic movies and shows you’ve seen where a guy is chivalrous by sharing his jacket.\\nDon’t be afraid to be corny and over-the-top. For example, you could be like “Haven’t you seen the end of Titanic? Don’t you want to be my Jack?!”\\n7. “Science says you should let me wear your hoodie!”\\nUse silly but truthful logic to convince him to give you his hoodie.\\nIt’s true! Wearing something that belongs to a loved one has aphrodisiac effects. In other words, wearing his clothes will only make you fall more in love with him. What boyfriend could turn that down?\\nThis is because of pheromones, but you probably won’t have to explain it too thoroughly before your charm and humor win him over. “I heard wearing something with your significant other’s scent strengthens your feelings for them!”\\n8. “Can I wear your hoodie? I miss you and it smells like you.”\\nCompliment his smell to make him feel sexy and loved.\\nIt’s not uncommon for people to want the smell of their significant other on them. After all, scent plays a huge role in attraction. Tell him his scent is sexy, and that it reminds you of him. Also, most guys secretly love being told they smell good. You get his hoodie, he gets a self-confidence boost. Win-win.\\nPlus, smell has a huge effect on memory, so you can tell him he’ll always be thinking of him. (Awww.)\\nThis is especially effective if you guys don’t live together or see each other super often.\\n9. “I want to sleep in your hoodie so it’s like we’re together.”\\nPlay the “I miss you” card so he feels better about giving it to you.\\nEven if you don’t usually sleep next to your boyfriend, feeling his warmth in bed can be really comforting. Tell your boyfriend you miss him so much that you just want something to remind you of him while he’s not with you.\\nIf you think talking about sleeping together is a little too intimate for your boyfriend, you can switch it out for something more casual.\\nFor example, “I want to walk around in your hoodie so it’s like you’re walking with me.”\\n10. “I want to wear your hoodie so people know I’m taken.”\\nEntice him by saying his hoodie is a status symbol to you.\\nIf you’re wearing something that obviously belongs to your boyfriend, people will know you’re off the market. To other guys, it says you already belong to someone else. Use this logic to convince your guy that this will protect you from prying eyes!\\nThis is especially the case if you’re a girl wearing your boyfriend’s clothes.\\nThat being said, if you’re wearing anything that fits or looks different from what you’d normally wear, people will probably be able to connect the dots.\\n11. “I promise I won’t get your hoodie dirty if you let me wear it.”\\nSwear to treat his belongings with the utmost care to win his trust.\\nYou probably weren’t planning on getting his hoodie dirty, but your boyfriend might not know that! Assure him that you want to wear it because you love him and respect his belongings.\\nIf he’s really anxious, offer to wash it for him before you give it back.\\n12. “Can I borrow your hoodie until Friday?”\\nPromise to give it back to ease his nerves.\\nIf your boyfriend has issues with sharing his hoodie because he’s afraid he won’t get it back, give him a day you’ll return it by. Make sure the amount of time is reasonable so he’s sure you won’t forget.\\nIf he doesn’t agree to your offer, you might have to compromise a bit so you’re both happy.\\nNegotiate nicely to convince him! For example, “I totally understand. Can I just wear it now and give it back to you after class?”\\nIf you keep your promise this time, he might let you keep it longer next time.\\n13. “Could I wear a hoodie of yours that you never wear?”\\nCompromise for another hoodie if he won’t give you your first choice.\\nSome people have certain articles of clothing that they just can’t let anyone else wear. That doesn’t mean there isn’t another one he won’t give you! If you can’t get your first choice hoodie, maybe you can get your second or third. Better than nothing, right?\\nTry to not take it personally if he doesn’t let go of his absolute favorite hoodie.\\n14. “Can I wear your hoodie? You can say no.”\\nRespect his boundaries to show him you have his best interest in mind.\\nYou might be able to convince your boyfriend to say “yes” by giving him the option to say “no.” This will make your request less forceful and show him that you’re taking his feelings into account.\\nRemember to keep your word: you’ve got to respect his decision if he says no.\\nJust because he said no this time doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind later!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Wanna get your hands on your boyfriend’s hoodie? Sometimes, all you need to persuade a guy into giving you his stuff is a sweet text. In this article, we’ve compiled a list of different messages you can send your boyfriend to get him to hand that hoodie over to you. And remember: after he lets you borrow it once, he just might let you keep it forever!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“Can I wear your hoodie?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask in a straightforward way to see how he feels about sharing.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the easiest way to get what you want is to just be confident and upfront. Who knows: his answer could be “yes” on your first try!\\nIf his answer isn’t yes, you might have to try a more persuasive (or tricky) text to get that hoodie.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“Your hoodie looks so good on you. I wonder how it looks on me!”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell him you love his hoodie so much and you just want in on the fun.\", \"描述\": \"If you think your boyfriend’s hoodie is big, soft, and comfy, you should tell him! He might just feel inclined to see how big, soft, and comfy it looks on you.\\nKeep piling on the compliments, and you might not even have to ask to borrow it: he might just offer it to you because you like it so much!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“Wearing your hoodie would make me feel super confident.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let him know that you love and crave his energy and support.\", \"描述\": \"Your boyfriend probably makes you feel really good and confident, so let him know! Make it sound like these feelings come from his hoodie.\\nIf you really want to play this up, compliment him on how powerful and manly he looks in his hoodie.\\nThis is especially effective if you have something you need good luck for, like a test or presentation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“I’m so cold. Sure wish I had your hoodie right now.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Convince him that you should hold onto it…for your health!\", \"描述\": \"Most boyfriends love coming to their partners’ rescue. Why not use this to your advantage? A little guilt could motivate him to bring you his sweatshirt.\\nAfter you get a hold of it, he might let you keep it so he’s “always” keeping you warm.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“I’ll meet you there! Can you bring me a hoodie?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Suggest an outdoor activity and say you can’t stop by home first.\", \"描述\": \"Asking your boyfriend to bring you a change or layer of clothes is totally normal. Recommend that you meet up somewhere and make it sound like you don’t have a jacket with you and don’t have time to grab one.\\nPlan to go somewhere directly from somewhere else, like school or work to a park.\\nMake your plans sound time-sensitive if he asks why you can’t go home first.\\nFor example, “We have to catch the sunset!” or “It’s a surprise!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“Will you give me your hoodie like they do in the movies?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assure him that giving you his hoodie is a romantic gesture.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing your partner’s clothing is a classic way to show other people that you’re in love. Tell your boyfriend this so he feels like giving you his hoodie to keep you warm would be a proper, old-school boyfriend move on his part!\\nIf he doesn’t get it, mention all the classic movies and shows you’ve seen where a guy is chivalrous by sharing his jacket.\\nDon’t be afraid to be corny and over-the-top. For example, you could be like “Haven’t you seen the end of Titanic? Don’t you want to be my Jack?!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“Science says you should let me wear your hoodie!”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use silly but truthful logic to convince him to give you his hoodie.\", \"描述\": \"It’s true! Wearing something that belongs to a loved one has aphrodisiac effects. In other words, wearing his clothes will only make you fall more in love with him. What boyfriend could turn that down?\\nThis is because of pheromones, but you probably won’t have to explain it too thoroughly before your charm and humor win him over. “I heard wearing something with your significant other’s scent strengthens your feelings for them!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“Can I wear your hoodie? I miss you and it smells like you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compliment his smell to make him feel sexy and loved.\", \"描述\": \"It’s not uncommon for people to want the smell of their significant other on them. After all, scent plays a huge role in attraction. Tell him his scent is sexy, and that it reminds you of him. Also, most guys secretly love being told they smell good. You get his hoodie, he gets a self-confidence boost. Win-win.\\nPlus, smell has a huge effect on memory, so you can tell him he’ll always be thinking of him. (Awww.)\\nThis is especially effective if you guys don’t live together or see each other super often.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"“I want to sleep in your hoodie so it’s like we’re together.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play the “I miss you” card so he feels better about giving it to you.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don’t usually sleep next to your boyfriend, feeling his warmth in bed can be really comforting. Tell your boyfriend you miss him so much that you just want something to remind you of him while he’s not with you.\\nIf you think talking about sleeping together is a little too intimate for your boyfriend, you can switch it out for something more casual.\\nFor example, “I want to walk around in your hoodie so it’s like you’re walking with me.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"“I want to wear your hoodie so people know I’m taken.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Entice him by saying his hoodie is a status symbol to you.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re wearing something that obviously belongs to your boyfriend, people will know you’re off the market. To other guys, it says you already belong to someone else. Use this logic to convince your guy that this will protect you from prying eyes!\\nThis is especially the case if you’re a girl wearing your boyfriend’s clothes.\\nThat being said, if you’re wearing anything that fits or looks different from what you’d normally wear, people will probably be able to connect the dots.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"“I promise I won’t get your hoodie dirty if you let me wear it.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Swear to treat his belongings with the utmost care to win his trust.\", \"描述\": \"You probably weren’t planning on getting his hoodie dirty, but your boyfriend might not know that! Assure him that you want to wear it because you love him and respect his belongings.\\nIf he’s really anxious, offer to wash it for him before you give it back.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"“Can I borrow your hoodie until Friday?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Promise to give it back to ease his nerves.\", \"描述\": \"If your boyfriend has issues with sharing his hoodie because he’s afraid he won’t get it back, give him a day you’ll return it by. Make sure the amount of time is reasonable so he’s sure you won’t forget.\\nIf he doesn’t agree to your offer, you might have to compromise a bit so you’re both happy.\\nNegotiate nicely to convince him! For example, “I totally understand. Can I just wear it now and give it back to you after class?”\\nIf you keep your promise this time, he might let you keep it longer next time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"“Could I wear a hoodie of yours that you never wear?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compromise for another hoodie if he won’t give you your first choice.\", \"描述\": \"Some people have certain articles of clothing that they just can’t let anyone else wear. That doesn’t mean there isn’t another one he won’t give you! If you can’t get your first choice hoodie, maybe you can get your second or third. Better than nothing, right?\\nTry to not take it personally if he doesn’t let go of his absolute favorite hoodie.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"“Can I wear your hoodie? You can say no.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respect his boundaries to show him you have his best interest in mind.\", \"描述\": \"You might be able to convince your boyfriend to say “yes” by giving him the option to say “no.” This will make your request less forceful and show him that you’re taking his feelings into account.\\nRemember to keep your word: you’ve got to respect his decision if he says no.\\nJust because he said no this time doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind later!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,493 | How to Ask Your Boyfriend if He Loves You | 1. Give the relationship some time before you ask.
Building that level of trust and closeness can take a while.
A new relationship is a roller-coaster ride of exciting emotions, but it can take a while to figure out your feelings. Don’t rush into asking your boyfriend about the big L right away. Everyone figures things out at their own pace, and putting him on the spot too soon might make him uncomfortable.
There’s no one right or wrong time in a relationship for someone to say “I love you.” Do some soul-searching to try to decide when the time is right. For instance, you might wait until you’re sure that you love him before you start asking how he feels about you.
Don’t worry about “rules” like waiting for a certain number of months or having a specific number of dates before you bring up the subject. Every couple is different!
2. Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and won’t be interrupted.
It’s easier to open up when you’re not under pressure.
If you and your boyfriend are stressed or busy, it’s going to be hard to have a good conversation about your feelings. Wait until the two of you can be alone and have plenty of time to chat. For example, don’t ask him when he’s worrying about a big test or trying to finish a bunch of homework.
Try saying something like, “Hey, there’s something important I’ve been wanting to ask you. Is this a good time?”
It’s also okay to be a little spontaneous, if the moment feels right! For example, if you’ve just had an amazing date and are relaxing in each other’s arms, it might be a good moment to talk about your feelings.
3. Lead by letting him know how you feel first.
If your guy isn’t sure how you feel, he might be scared to open up himself.
Try putting him at ease by spilling the beans first, if you feel ready. Be sincere and tell him exactly what’s on your mind (and heart).
If you say it first, he might let you know how he feels without waiting to be asked!
In addition to telling him that you love him, tell him why he’s so special to you. For instance, you could say things like, “You’re always there for me, and I’m so grateful for that. I love the way we can make each other smile and laugh—and I love you.”
You don’t have to use the words “I love you” if you’re not comfortable saying it that way. For example, try something like “You mean so much to me,” “I care about you a lot,” or “I’m totally crazy about you.”
4. Ask directly if you feel comfortable with that.
Sometimes the best way to get answers is to ask direct questions.
You and your boyfriend may know each other pretty well, but you can’t read his mind! If you’re not sure how he’s feeling, just ask. Once you’ve fessed up about how you feel, say something like, “I know it can be tough to open up about something like this, but it would really mean a lot to me to know how you’re feeling. Do you love me?”
If you don’t want to put too much pressure on him, say something like, “I know that’s a big question. You don’t have to answer right away if you’re not ready.”
5. Write it down if you have trouble asking out loud.
Sometimes it’s easier to ask a difficult question if you put it on paper.
If you just can’t get the words out of your mouth, try writing your boyfriend a note asking how he feels instead. You can write it in a greeting card or on a sticky note, send him a text, or even hold up signs!
For example, you could write a cute note saying, “Do you love me? Check yes or no.”
This is also a good way to give your boyfriend extra time to think about his answer. For example, give him a card with a love note inside and tell him he can read it (and answer) whenever he’s ready.
6. Try other questions if you’re nervous about asking directly.
There’s more than one way to talk about love.
Maybe directly asking “Do you love me” gives you cold feet. The good news is that there are lots of other questions you can ask to get an idea of where things stand in your relationship. For example, you might ask things like:
“How are you feeling about us right now?”
“Do you see us staying together long-term?”
“What do you like about our relationship?”
“What can I do to help you feel more loved?”
7. Accept that he might not give you the answer you want.
He may not feel the same way you do, and that’s okay.
Asking someone how they feel about you is scary. There’s always a chance your special guy won’t return your feelings. But, as tough as that can be, it’s important to clear the air and get an idea of where things stand. You can always hope for a “yes,” but be prepared for a “no” or even an “I’m not sure yet.”
Whatever he says, respect his answer. Only he can decide how he feels about you!
Even if he isn’t ready to say “I love you” yet, that doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t get there. He may just need more time to figure out how he feels.
8. Listen for other things he says to express his love.
“I love you” isn’t the only way to say “I love you.”
Pay attention to other things your boyfriend says to you. Does he use kind, respectful, and loving language? Does he use other words to tell you how he feels about you and the relationship? For example, he may say things like:
“I care so much about you.”
“You’re awesome!”
“I’m so happy when we’re together.”
“I’m here for you.”
“Thanks for everything you do.”
9. See if he shows real interest in you.
If he acts like he’s into you, he probably is.
Does your boyfriend ask you about your day? Does he pay attention to your fears, hopes, and dreams? Have you noticed that he remembers the things you tell him about yourself? If he makes a point of taking an interest and paying attention, that’s a good sign—it means he cares about you as a person.
On the other hand, if your bae constantly talks about himself and his own interests and doesn’t seem that into anything you have to say, that could mean that his mind and heart are somewhere else.
10. Ask yourself if he’s helpful, considerate, and kind.
When it comes to love, actions definitely speak louder than words.
Watch for the things your guy does to show you how much he cares, whether it’s offering to cook a meal for you, bringing you little gifts, or cheering you on before a big test.
Pay attention to how he acts with you in both good and bad times. For example, is he there to comfort you when you’re feeling down? Does he celebrate with you when things are going well?
11. Pay attention to how he touches you.
A touch, a kiss, or a hug can say a lot.
Think about what it’s like when your boyfriend gets physical with you. Does he give you lots of affectionate touches? Do his touches feel loving and respectful?
Loving touches can include things like hugs, holding hands, backrubs, or even just a gentle pat on the shoulder from time to time. You might notice that he likes to snuggle up close or lean against you when you’re sitting together.
Sexual touching can definitely be a sign of love and affection, but it’s important that these kinds of touches are respectful and that it’s something you both want. Have an honest conversation with your boyfriend about what sex means to both of you.
12. Watch for signs that he respects your boundaries.
Boundaries are super important in a healthy relationship.
A loving boyfriend should be there for you. But, also pay attention to whether he’s willing to back off and give you space when you ask him to. If he respects your boundaries, that’s a good sign that he loves and cares about you.
For example, if you ask your boyfriend to stop making comments or jokes that bother you, he should apologize and stop.
It’s totally normal for people to cross each other’s boundaries sometimes, even in a loving relationship. Watch for how he reacts when you let him know he’s crossed the line, though. He should make a sincere effort not to do it again.
13. Note whether he includes you in his decisions.
If he gets you involved in his life choices, he’s probably pretty into you.
Your boyfriend doesn’t have to get your input on every little thing he does. And it’s also totally okay if he does things without you from time to time. But if he goes out of his way to get you involved, he likely cares about your opinions and feels like it’s important to do things with you. For example:
Does he ask for your input about what the two of you do together?
Does he get your advice when he’s making major decisions that might affect both of you? For instance, if he’s thinking about where he wants to go to college, he might talk to you about it.
Tips
If it’s important to you to hear your boyfriend say “I love you,” let him know. Your relationship will be much stronger if you can both be clear about your needs, wants, and expectations![15]
X
Research source
Some people have a hard time saying “I love you.” If your boyfriend struggles to say those 3 not-so-little words, talk to him about ways that he is comfortable expressing his feelings.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Give the relationship some time before you ask.\\nBuilding that level of trust and closeness can take a while.\\nA new relationship is a roller-coaster ride of exciting emotions, but it can take a while to figure out your feelings. Don’t rush into asking your boyfriend about the big L right away. Everyone figures things out at their own pace, and putting him on the spot too soon might make him uncomfortable.\\nThere’s no one right or wrong time in a relationship for someone to say “I love you.” Do some soul-searching to try to decide when the time is right. For instance, you might wait until you’re sure that you love him before you start asking how he feels about you.\\nDon’t worry about “rules” like waiting for a certain number of months or having a specific number of dates before you bring up the subject. Every couple is different!\\n2. Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and won’t be interrupted.\\nIt’s easier to open up when you’re not under pressure.\\nIf you and your boyfriend are stressed or busy, it’s going to be hard to have a good conversation about your feelings. Wait until the two of you can be alone and have plenty of time to chat. For example, don’t ask him when he’s worrying about a big test or trying to finish a bunch of homework.\\nTry saying something like, “Hey, there’s something important I’ve been wanting to ask you. Is this a good time?”\\nIt’s also okay to be a little spontaneous, if the moment feels right! For example, if you’ve just had an amazing date and are relaxing in each other’s arms, it might be a good moment to talk about your feelings.\\n3. Lead by letting him know how you feel first.\\nIf your guy isn’t sure how you feel, he might be scared to open up himself.\\nTry putting him at ease by spilling the beans first, if you feel ready. Be sincere and tell him exactly what’s on your mind (and heart).\\nIf you say it first, he might let you know how he feels without waiting to be asked!\\nIn addition to telling him that you love him, tell him why he’s so special to you. For instance, you could say things like, “You’re always there for me, and I’m so grateful for that. I love the way we can make each other smile and laugh—and I love you.”\\nYou don’t have to use the words “I love you” if you’re not comfortable saying it that way. For example, try something like “You mean so much to me,” “I care about you a lot,” or “I’m totally crazy about you.”\\n4. Ask directly if you feel comfortable with that.\\nSometimes the best way to get answers is to ask direct questions.\\nYou and your boyfriend may know each other pretty well, but you can’t read his mind! If you’re not sure how he’s feeling, just ask. Once you’ve fessed up about how you feel, say something like, “I know it can be tough to open up about something like this, but it would really mean a lot to me to know how you’re feeling. Do you love me?”\\nIf you don’t want to put too much pressure on him, say something like, “I know that’s a big question. You don’t have to answer right away if you’re not ready.”\\n5. Write it down if you have trouble asking out loud.\\nSometimes it’s easier to ask a difficult question if you put it on paper.\\nIf you just can’t get the words out of your mouth, try writing your boyfriend a note asking how he feels instead. You can write it in a greeting card or on a sticky note, send him a text, or even hold up signs!\\nFor example, you could write a cute note saying, “Do you love me? Check yes or no.”\\nThis is also a good way to give your boyfriend extra time to think about his answer. For example, give him a card with a love note inside and tell him he can read it (and answer) whenever he’s ready.\\n6. Try other questions if you’re nervous about asking directly.\\nThere’s more than one way to talk about love.\\nMaybe directly asking “Do you love me” gives you cold feet. The good news is that there are lots of other questions you can ask to get an idea of where things stand in your relationship. For example, you might ask things like:\\n“How are you feeling about us right now?”\\n“Do you see us staying together long-term?”\\n“What do you like about our relationship?”\\n“What can I do to help you feel more loved?”\\n7. Accept that he might not give you the answer you want.\\nHe may not feel the same way you do, and that’s okay.\\nAsking someone how they feel about you is scary. There’s always a chance your special guy won’t return your feelings. But, as tough as that can be, it’s important to clear the air and get an idea of where things stand. You can always hope for a “yes,” but be prepared for a “no” or even an “I’m not sure yet.”\\nWhatever he says, respect his answer. Only he can decide how he feels about you!\\nEven if he isn’t ready to say “I love you” yet, that doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t get there. He may just need more time to figure out how he feels.\\n8. Listen for other things he says to express his love.\\n“I love you” isn’t the only way to say “I love you.”\\nPay attention to other things your boyfriend says to you. Does he use kind, respectful, and loving language? Does he use other words to tell you how he feels about you and the relationship? For example, he may say things like:\\n“I care so much about you.”\\n“You’re awesome!”\\n“I’m so happy when we’re together.”\\n“I’m here for you.”\\n“Thanks for everything you do.”\\n9. See if he shows real interest in you.\\nIf he acts like he’s into you, he probably is.\\nDoes your boyfriend ask you about your day? Does he pay attention to your fears, hopes, and dreams? Have you noticed that he remembers the things you tell him about yourself? If he makes a point of taking an interest and paying attention, that’s a good sign—it means he cares about you as a person.\\nOn the other hand, if your bae constantly talks about himself and his own interests and doesn’t seem that into anything you have to say, that could mean that his mind and heart are somewhere else.\\n10. Ask yourself if he’s helpful, considerate, and kind.\\nWhen it comes to love, actions definitely speak louder than words.\\nWatch for the things your guy does to show you how much he cares, whether it’s offering to cook a meal for you, bringing you little gifts, or cheering you on before a big test.\\nPay attention to how he acts with you in both good and bad times. For example, is he there to comfort you when you’re feeling down? Does he celebrate with you when things are going well?\\n11. Pay attention to how he touches you.\\nA touch, a kiss, or a hug can say a lot.\\nThink about what it’s like when your boyfriend gets physical with you. Does he give you lots of affectionate touches? Do his touches feel loving and respectful?\\nLoving touches can include things like hugs, holding hands, backrubs, or even just a gentle pat on the shoulder from time to time. You might notice that he likes to snuggle up close or lean against you when you’re sitting together.\\nSexual touching can definitely be a sign of love and affection, but it’s important that these kinds of touches are respectful and that it’s something you both want. Have an honest conversation with your boyfriend about what sex means to both of you.\\n12. Watch for signs that he respects your boundaries.\\nBoundaries are super important in a healthy relationship.\\nA loving boyfriend should be there for you. But, also pay attention to whether he’s willing to back off and give you space when you ask him to. If he respects your boundaries, that’s a good sign that he loves and cares about you.\\nFor example, if you ask your boyfriend to stop making comments or jokes that bother you, he should apologize and stop.\\nIt’s totally normal for people to cross each other’s boundaries sometimes, even in a loving relationship. Watch for how he reacts when you let him know he’s crossed the line, though. He should make a sincere effort not to do it again.\\n13. Note whether he includes you in his decisions.\\nIf he gets you involved in his life choices, he’s probably pretty into you.\\nYour boyfriend doesn’t have to get your input on every little thing he does. And it’s also totally okay if he does things without you from time to time. But if he goes out of his way to get you involved, he likely cares about your opinions and feels like it’s important to do things with you. For example:\\nDoes he ask for your input about what the two of you do together?\\nDoes he get your advice when he’s making major decisions that might affect both of you? For instance, if he’s thinking about where he wants to go to college, he might talk to you about it.\\nTips\\nIf it’s important to you to hear your boyfriend say “I love you,” let him know. Your relationship will be much stronger if you can both be clear about your needs, wants, and expectations![15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nSome people have a hard time saying “I love you.” If your boyfriend struggles to say those 3 not-so-little words, talk to him about ways that he is comfortable expressing his feelings.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Talking to your boyfriend about his feelings can be super awkward. But, if you’re not sure how he feels about you, having a heart-to-heart talk may help clear things up. The best way to find out is to ask him directly, but you can also learn a lot by paying attention to his actions! Some guys have a hard time opening up, so it might help to break the ice by telling him how you feel, first.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give the relationship some time before you ask.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building that level of trust and closeness can take a while.\", \"描述\": \"A new relationship is a roller-coaster ride of exciting emotions, but it can take a while to figure out your feelings. Don’t rush into asking your boyfriend about the big L right away. Everyone figures things out at their own pace, and putting him on the spot too soon might make him uncomfortable.\\nThere’s no one right or wrong time in a relationship for someone to say “I love you.” Do some soul-searching to try to decide when the time is right. For instance, you might wait until you’re sure that you love him before you start asking how he feels about you.\\nDon’t worry about “rules” like waiting for a certain number of months or having a specific number of dates before you bring up the subject. Every couple is different!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and won’t be interrupted.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s easier to open up when you’re not under pressure.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your boyfriend are stressed or busy, it’s going to be hard to have a good conversation about your feelings. Wait until the two of you can be alone and have plenty of time to chat. For example, don’t ask him when he’s worrying about a big test or trying to finish a bunch of homework.\\nTry saying something like, “Hey, there’s something important I’ve been wanting to ask you. Is this a good time?”\\nIt’s also okay to be a little spontaneous, if the moment feels right! For example, if you’ve just had an amazing date and are relaxing in each other’s arms, it might be a good moment to talk about your feelings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Lead by letting him know how you feel first.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your guy isn’t sure how you feel, he might be scared to open up himself.\", \"描述\": \"Try putting him at ease by spilling the beans first, if you feel ready. Be sincere and tell him exactly what’s on your mind (and heart).\\nIf you say it first, he might let you know how he feels without waiting to be asked!\\nIn addition to telling him that you love him, tell him why he’s so special to you. For instance, you could say things like, “You’re always there for me, and I’m so grateful for that. I love the way we can make each other smile and laugh—and I love you.”\\nYou don’t have to use the words “I love you” if you’re not comfortable saying it that way. For example, try something like “You mean so much to me,” “I care about you a lot,” or “I’m totally crazy about you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask directly if you feel comfortable with that.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes the best way to get answers is to ask direct questions.\", \"描述\": \"You and your boyfriend may know each other pretty well, but you can’t read his mind! If you’re not sure how he’s feeling, just ask. Once you’ve fessed up about how you feel, say something like, “I know it can be tough to open up about something like this, but it would really mean a lot to me to know how you’re feeling. Do you love me?”\\nIf you don’t want to put too much pressure on him, say something like, “I know that’s a big question. You don’t have to answer right away if you’re not ready.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write it down if you have trouble asking out loud.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes it’s easier to ask a difficult question if you put it on paper.\", \"描述\": \"If you just can’t get the words out of your mouth, try writing your boyfriend a note asking how he feels instead. You can write it in a greeting card or on a sticky note, send him a text, or even hold up signs!\\nFor example, you could write a cute note saying, “Do you love me? Check yes or no.”\\nThis is also a good way to give your boyfriend extra time to think about his answer. For example, give him a card with a love note inside and tell him he can read it (and answer) whenever he’s ready.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try other questions if you’re nervous about asking directly.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"There’s more than one way to talk about love.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe directly asking “Do you love me” gives you cold feet. The good news is that there are lots of other questions you can ask to get an idea of where things stand in your relationship. For example, you might ask things like:\\n“How are you feeling about us right now?”\\n“Do you see us staying together long-term?”\\n“What do you like about our relationship?”\\n“What can I do to help you feel more loved?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Accept that he might not give you the answer you want.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"He may not feel the same way you do, and that’s okay.\", \"描述\": \"Asking someone how they feel about you is scary. There’s always a chance your special guy won’t return your feelings. But, as tough as that can be, it’s important to clear the air and get an idea of where things stand. You can always hope for a “yes,” but be prepared for a “no” or even an “I’m not sure yet.”\\nWhatever he says, respect his answer. Only he can decide how he feels about you!\\nEven if he isn’t ready to say “I love you” yet, that doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t get there. He may just need more time to figure out how he feels.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Listen for other things he says to express his love.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I love you” isn’t the only way to say “I love you.”\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to other things your boyfriend says to you. Does he use kind, respectful, and loving language? Does he use other words to tell you how he feels about you and the relationship? For example, he may say things like:\\n“I care so much about you.”\\n“You’re awesome!”\\n“I’m so happy when we’re together.”\\n“I’m here for you.”\\n“Thanks for everything you do.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"See if he shows real interest in you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If he acts like he’s into you, he probably is.\", \"描述\": \"Does your boyfriend ask you about your day? Does he pay attention to your fears, hopes, and dreams? Have you noticed that he remembers the things you tell him about yourself? If he makes a point of taking an interest and paying attention, that’s a good sign—it means he cares about you as a person.\\nOn the other hand, if your bae constantly talks about himself and his own interests and doesn’t seem that into anything you have to say, that could mean that his mind and heart are somewhere else.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if he’s helpful, considerate, and kind.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When it comes to love, actions definitely speak louder than words.\", \"描述\": \"Watch for the things your guy does to show you how much he cares, whether it’s offering to cook a meal for you, bringing you little gifts, or cheering you on before a big test.\\nPay attention to how he acts with you in both good and bad times. For example, is he there to comfort you when you’re feeling down? Does he celebrate with you when things are going well?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to how he touches you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A touch, a kiss, or a hug can say a lot.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what it’s like when your boyfriend gets physical with you. Does he give you lots of affectionate touches? Do his touches feel loving and respectful?\\nLoving touches can include things like hugs, holding hands, backrubs, or even just a gentle pat on the shoulder from time to time. You might notice that he likes to snuggle up close or lean against you when you’re sitting together.\\nSexual touching can definitely be a sign of love and affection, but it’s important that these kinds of touches are respectful and that it’s something you both want. Have an honest conversation with your boyfriend about what sex means to both of you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Watch for signs that he respects your boundaries.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Boundaries are super important in a healthy relationship.\", \"描述\": \"A loving boyfriend should be there for you. But, also pay attention to whether he’s willing to back off and give you space when you ask him to. If he respects your boundaries, that’s a good sign that he loves and cares about you.\\nFor example, if you ask your boyfriend to stop making comments or jokes that bother you, he should apologize and stop.\\nIt’s totally normal for people to cross each other’s boundaries sometimes, even in a loving relationship. Watch for how he reacts when you let him know he’s crossed the line, though. He should make a sincere effort not to do it again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Note whether he includes you in his decisions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If he gets you involved in his life choices, he’s probably pretty into you.\", \"描述\": \"Your boyfriend doesn’t have to get your input on every little thing he does. And it’s also totally okay if he does things without you from time to time. But if he goes out of his way to get you involved, he likely cares about your opinions and feels like it’s important to do things with you. For example:\\nDoes he ask for your input about what the two of you do together?\\nDoes he get your advice when he’s making major decisions that might affect both of you? For instance, if he’s thinking about where he wants to go to college, he might talk to you about it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If it’s important to you to hear your boyfriend say “I love you,” let him know. Your relationship will be much stronger if you can both be clear about your needs, wants, and expectations![15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Some people have a hard time saying “I love you.” If your boyfriend struggles to say those 3 not-so-little words, talk to him about ways that he is comfortable expressing his feelings.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,494 | How to Ask Your Boyfriend to French Kiss | 1. Asking For a French Kiss
1-1. Start slowly.
You should try to get your boyfriend in a romantic mood first, and lower the pressure with a few slower, warm up kisses first. Make these a few soft pecks after it's clear he's in the mood to kiss.
Perhaps your boyfriend will start French kissing you without being asked if you seem receptive enough during the first kisses. The best approach is to wait a bit and see if it happens on its own. You will know he wants to kiss you when you make eye contact, and one or both of you moves closer to the other.
Tilt your head to the side, and part your lips. Gently draw one of your boyfriend’s lips between your own as you kiss so your lips interlock a bit. Don’t be afraid to tilt your head a bit as this will signal renewed interest.
You could say, "Let's go slow" to be clearer to your boyfriend, especially if he is inexperienced at kissing or you are.
You could also acknowledge your nervousness by saying something like, "Hey, I'm a little nervous. Are you too?" He may appreciate your honesty. Remember, he might be just as nervous as you are.
If he's a more experienced kisser, telling him something like, "I love kissing slowly at first" can help set the mood.
1-2. Rub your tongue over your partner’s lips.
Because French kissing involves kissing with tongues, if you rub your tongue over your partner’s lips, it will give him the signal that you’re OK with French kissing.
Do this lightly because it will be romantic to your partner and a bit teasing. That’s good. Sometimes your boyfriend might feel insecure and is looking to see if you’re all right with it.
You could say something like, "You have really nice lips" as you rub your tongue over them, looking him briefly in the eye.
Feel free then to gently push the tip of your tongue into your partner’s mouth. If your partner has any experience, he will probably then move his tongue deeper into your mouth.
1-3. Ask him to French kiss you while you are kissing.
You could just come out and ask! Remember that he's probably nervous too.
If you're kissing slowly and gently at first, more nibbling than French kissing, you could take a small step back, look him deeply in the eyes, and say, "I'd love to French kiss you right now, but I'm nervous because I've never done it before. Could you show me how?"
Or you could say something like, "Want to try French kissing? I would love to try that with you."
If you're worried about bad breath, just make sure you pop a mint or brush your teeth or spray mouth freshener into your mouth before the kissing starts!
1-4. Let him know if it's the first time.
If you’re really nervous because you’ve never French kissed before, it’s OK for you to tell him that. Find the right place and time, which is when you are both alone and comfortable with each other.
It might feel embarrassing at first, but he will probably appreciate your honesty, and it might excite him to think that he will be the first person to French kiss you. It's a good idea to have this conversation before you actually are kissing. Find a casual way to say it.
For example, while you're driving in a car or eating dinner together, you could say, "This is hard for me to say, but I've never French kissed before! Maybe you can show me how later." Don't make it overly serious. You could also start the conversation with a question by asking him if he knows how to French kiss.
This might entice him to show you how to French kiss. Remember that the best relationships are built upon a foundation of strong communication anyway. It's best to wait until you've been dating for a little bit before you have this conversation, though.
1-5. Be patient
What if your boyfriend is not ready for French kissing? That's OK. Everyone needs to go at his or her own pace.
Your boyfriend might just be nervous, so don't read too much into it if your boyfriend hasn't French kissed you unless you've been going out for months. In that case, you could ask why your boyfriend feels that way.
If the relationship is new, you could just let the French kissing happen naturally. Let your boyfriend take the lead on it, and if he's not ready work on building your bond and connection by sharing time together and great conversations, rather than forcing the kissing.
2. French Kissing Your Boyfriend
2-1. Moisten your lips
Lick your lips so that they aren’t too dry. It will make him more likely to want to French kiss you if your lips look moist. Use chap stick or lip balm.
It’s probably best if you close your eyes for most of the kiss. It’s a little unnerving to most people if the person they are kissing is staring at them all of the time. Open your lips while French kissing.
Angle your head to one side so that your noses don’t bump into each other. It’s usually a good idea to start with other kisses rather than immediately French kissing him.
2-2. Start French kissing him first.
Never forget that you’re not the only one who’s nervous or a little insecure. He probably is too! So if he’s not taking the hint but seems into kissing you, you can initiative the French kiss yourself.
Start by gently pushing the tip of your tongue into your partner’s mouth in order to assess his interest. If he doesn’t pull away, that’s your signal.
Now find the tip of his tongue with your tongue. Gently brush against it with your tongue. That’s it! You’re French kissing!
2-3. Deepen the kiss.
Once you’ve started the French kiss by touching each other’s tongues, if both are receptive, you can deepen the kiss.
French kissing is very intimate and a way to bond with your boyfriend. Simply move your tongue deeper into your partner’s mouth to make more contact. A good kiss is a long one in which both tongues are touching.
Thrust your tongue into his mouth with a little bit more forcefulness. If he’s as passionate about you as you are with him, he will likely move his tongue deeper into your mouth too, touching your tongue with his.
3. Mastering the Art of Kissing
3-1. Kiss sensitive areas on his face.
You don’t want to only French kiss endlessly. Break it up now and then with a little sensual kissing in other ways.
For example, some men or boys have very sensitive ear lobes. Try kissing his ear lobe, his jawline, and his neck, and see how he responds. Embrace him.
If your boyfriend seems to like this, you can move back and forth between such sensual kissing and French kissing. He will likely find it very tantalizing!
3-2. Become a great kisser.
There are a few key tips to making yourself a better kisser. For one, no one wants to kiss someone who doesn’t take care of his or her breath. So make sure your breath is fresh and your mouth is clean.
Pop a mint, brush your teeth, use mouthwash, or buy those little mouth freshener strips that dissolve in your mouth or mouth freshener you spray into your mouth if you’re looking for something portable.
Go slowly. Don’t think you have to pummel his mouth like a jack hammer. The best kissing usually lets the intensity build and then dissipates before building again. Be sensual. Go slow.
3-3. Try not to use too much tongue.
One mistake that beginning kissers make is they think they have to shove their entire tongue down their partner's throat.
You don’t. You can just push your tongue into his mouth a little bit and let it dance around. Then thrust it in, but not so far that it feels like you are gagging your partner.
Breathe through your nose when kissing. Try not to get saliva all over him. When you’re done with kissing him, wind it down back to the little warm up kisses rather than just suddenly stopping.
Tips
Do this in private.
Lighter kissing is best!
Don’t bite. Most people don’t like that.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking For a French Kiss\\n1-1. Start slowly.\\nYou should try to get your boyfriend in a romantic mood first, and lower the pressure with a few slower, warm up kisses first. Make these a few soft pecks after it's clear he's in the mood to kiss.\\nPerhaps your boyfriend will start French kissing you without being asked if you seem receptive enough during the first kisses. The best approach is to wait a bit and see if it happens on its own. You will know he wants to kiss you when you make eye contact, and one or both of you moves closer to the other.\\nTilt your head to the side, and part your lips. Gently draw one of your boyfriend’s lips between your own as you kiss so your lips interlock a bit. Don’t be afraid to tilt your head a bit as this will signal renewed interest.\\nYou could say, \\\"Let's go slow\\\" to be clearer to your boyfriend, especially if he is inexperienced at kissing or you are.\\nYou could also acknowledge your nervousness by saying something like, \\\"Hey, I'm a little nervous. Are you too?\\\" He may appreciate your honesty. Remember, he might be just as nervous as you are.\\nIf he's a more experienced kisser, telling him something like, \\\"I love kissing slowly at first\\\" can help set the mood.\\n1-2. Rub your tongue over your partner’s lips.\\nBecause French kissing involves kissing with tongues, if you rub your tongue over your partner’s lips, it will give him the signal that you’re OK with French kissing.\\nDo this lightly because it will be romantic to your partner and a bit teasing. That’s good. Sometimes your boyfriend might feel insecure and is looking to see if you’re all right with it.\\nYou could say something like, \\\"You have really nice lips\\\" as you rub your tongue over them, looking him briefly in the eye.\\nFeel free then to gently push the tip of your tongue into your partner’s mouth. If your partner has any experience, he will probably then move his tongue deeper into your mouth.\\n1-3. Ask him to French kiss you while you are kissing.\\nYou could just come out and ask! Remember that he's probably nervous too.\\nIf you're kissing slowly and gently at first, more nibbling than French kissing, you could take a small step back, look him deeply in the eyes, and say, \\\"I'd love to French kiss you right now, but I'm nervous because I've never done it before. Could you show me how?\\\"\\nOr you could say something like, \\\"Want to try French kissing? I would love to try that with you.\\\"\\nIf you're worried about bad breath, just make sure you pop a mint or brush your teeth or spray mouth freshener into your mouth before the kissing starts!\\n1-4. Let him know if it's the first time.\\nIf you’re really nervous because you’ve never French kissed before, it’s OK for you to tell him that. Find the right place and time, which is when you are both alone and comfortable with each other.\\nIt might feel embarrassing at first, but he will probably appreciate your honesty, and it might excite him to think that he will be the first person to French kiss you. It's a good idea to have this conversation before you actually are kissing. Find a casual way to say it.\\nFor example, while you're driving in a car or eating dinner together, you could say, \\\"This is hard for me to say, but I've never French kissed before! Maybe you can show me how later.\\\" Don't make it overly serious. You could also start the conversation with a question by asking him if he knows how to French kiss.\\nThis might entice him to show you how to French kiss. Remember that the best relationships are built upon a foundation of strong communication anyway. It's best to wait until you've been dating for a little bit before you have this conversation, though.\\n1-5. Be patient\\nWhat if your boyfriend is not ready for French kissing? That's OK. Everyone needs to go at his or her own pace.\\nYour boyfriend might just be nervous, so don't read too much into it if your boyfriend hasn't French kissed you unless you've been going out for months. In that case, you could ask why your boyfriend feels that way.\\nIf the relationship is new, you could just let the French kissing happen naturally. Let your boyfriend take the lead on it, and if he's not ready work on building your bond and connection by sharing time together and great conversations, rather than forcing the kissing.\\n2. French Kissing Your Boyfriend\\n2-1. Moisten your lips\\nLick your lips so that they aren’t too dry. It will make him more likely to want to French kiss you if your lips look moist. Use chap stick or lip balm. \\nIt’s probably best if you close your eyes for most of the kiss. It’s a little unnerving to most people if the person they are kissing is staring at them all of the time. Open your lips while French kissing.\\nAngle your head to one side so that your noses don’t bump into each other. It’s usually a good idea to start with other kisses rather than immediately French kissing him.\\n2-2. Start French kissing him first.\\nNever forget that you’re not the only one who’s nervous or a little insecure. He probably is too! So if he’s not taking the hint but seems into kissing you, you can initiative the French kiss yourself.\\nStart by gently pushing the tip of your tongue into your partner’s mouth in order to assess his interest. If he doesn’t pull away, that’s your signal.\\nNow find the tip of his tongue with your tongue. Gently brush against it with your tongue. That’s it! You’re French kissing!\\n2-3. Deepen the kiss.\\nOnce you’ve started the French kiss by touching each other’s tongues, if both are receptive, you can deepen the kiss.\\nFrench kissing is very intimate and a way to bond with your boyfriend. Simply move your tongue deeper into your partner’s mouth to make more contact. A good kiss is a long one in which both tongues are touching.\\nThrust your tongue into his mouth with a little bit more forcefulness. If he’s as passionate about you as you are with him, he will likely move his tongue deeper into your mouth too, touching your tongue with his.\\n3. Mastering the Art of Kissing\\n3-1. Kiss sensitive areas on his face.\\nYou don’t want to only French kiss endlessly. Break it up now and then with a little sensual kissing in other ways.\\nFor example, some men or boys have very sensitive ear lobes. Try kissing his ear lobe, his jawline, and his neck, and see how he responds. Embrace him.\\nIf your boyfriend seems to like this, you can move back and forth between such sensual kissing and French kissing. He will likely find it very tantalizing!\\n3-2. Become a great kisser.\\nThere are a few key tips to making yourself a better kisser. For one, no one wants to kiss someone who doesn’t take care of his or her breath. So make sure your breath is fresh and your mouth is clean.\\nPop a mint, brush your teeth, use mouthwash, or buy those little mouth freshener strips that dissolve in your mouth or mouth freshener you spray into your mouth if you’re looking for something portable.\\nGo slowly. Don’t think you have to pummel his mouth like a jack hammer. The best kissing usually lets the intensity build and then dissipates before building again. Be sensual. Go slow.\\n3-3. Try not to use too much tongue.\\nOne mistake that beginning kissers make is they think they have to shove their entire tongue down their partner's throat.\\nYou don’t. You can just push your tongue into his mouth a little bit and let it dance around. Then thrust it in, but not so far that it feels like you are gagging your partner.\\nBreathe through your nose when kissing. Try not to get saliva all over him. When you’re done with kissing him, wind it down back to the little warm up kisses rather than just suddenly stopping.\\nTips\\nDo this in private.\\nLighter kissing is best!\\nDon’t bite. Most people don’t like that.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While asking your partner to French kiss may seem complicated or even scary at first, French kissing can be a very fun and rewarding experience. It's a way to build a romantic and deeper bond with your boyfriend. So what are you waiting for?\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking For a French Kiss\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start slowly.\", \"描述\": \"You should try to get your boyfriend in a romantic mood first, and lower the pressure with a few slower, warm up kisses first. Make these a few soft pecks after it's clear he's in the mood to kiss.\\nPerhaps your boyfriend will start French kissing you without being asked if you seem receptive enough during the first kisses. The best approach is to wait a bit and see if it happens on its own. You will know he wants to kiss you when you make eye contact, and one or both of you moves closer to the other.\\nTilt your head to the side, and part your lips. Gently draw one of your boyfriend’s lips between your own as you kiss so your lips interlock a bit. Don’t be afraid to tilt your head a bit as this will signal renewed interest.\\nYou could say, \\\"Let's go slow\\\" to be clearer to your boyfriend, especially if he is inexperienced at kissing or you are.\\nYou could also acknowledge your nervousness by saying something like, \\\"Hey, I'm a little nervous. Are you too?\\\" He may appreciate your honesty. Remember, he might be just as nervous as you are.\\nIf he's a more experienced kisser, telling him something like, \\\"I love kissing slowly at first\\\" can help set the mood.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Rub your tongue over your partner’s lips.\", \"描述\": \"Because French kissing involves kissing with tongues, if you rub your tongue over your partner’s lips, it will give him the signal that you’re OK with French kissing.\\nDo this lightly because it will be romantic to your partner and a bit teasing. That’s good. Sometimes your boyfriend might feel insecure and is looking to see if you’re all right with it.\\nYou could say something like, \\\"You have really nice lips\\\" as you rub your tongue over them, looking him briefly in the eye.\\nFeel free then to gently push the tip of your tongue into your partner’s mouth. If your partner has any experience, he will probably then move his tongue deeper into your mouth.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask him to French kiss you while you are kissing.\", \"描述\": \"You could just come out and ask! Remember that he's probably nervous too.\\nIf you're kissing slowly and gently at first, more nibbling than French kissing, you could take a small step back, look him deeply in the eyes, and say, \\\"I'd love to French kiss you right now, but I'm nervous because I've never done it before. Could you show me how?\\\"\\nOr you could say something like, \\\"Want to try French kissing? I would love to try that with you.\\\"\\nIf you're worried about bad breath, just make sure you pop a mint or brush your teeth or spray mouth freshener into your mouth before the kissing starts!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let him know if it's the first time.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re really nervous because you’ve never French kissed before, it’s OK for you to tell him that. Find the right place and time, which is when you are both alone and comfortable with each other.\\nIt might feel embarrassing at first, but he will probably appreciate your honesty, and it might excite him to think that he will be the first person to French kiss you. It's a good idea to have this conversation before you actually are kissing. Find a casual way to say it.\\nFor example, while you're driving in a car or eating dinner together, you could say, \\\"This is hard for me to say, but I've never French kissed before! Maybe you can show me how later.\\\" Don't make it overly serious. You could also start the conversation with a question by asking him if he knows how to French kiss.\\nThis might entice him to show you how to French kiss. Remember that the best relationships are built upon a foundation of strong communication anyway. It's best to wait until you've been dating for a little bit before you have this conversation, though.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be patient\", \"描述\": \"What if your boyfriend is not ready for French kissing? That's OK. Everyone needs to go at his or her own pace.\\nYour boyfriend might just be nervous, so don't read too much into it if your boyfriend hasn't French kissed you unless you've been going out for months. In that case, you could ask why your boyfriend feels that way.\\nIf the relationship is new, you could just let the French kissing happen naturally. Let your boyfriend take the lead on it, and if he's not ready work on building your bond and connection by sharing time together and great conversations, rather than forcing the kissing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"French Kissing Your Boyfriend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Moisten your lips\", \"描述\": \"Lick your lips so that they aren’t too dry. It will make him more likely to want to French kiss you if your lips look moist. Use chap stick or lip balm. \\nIt’s probably best if you close your eyes for most of the kiss. It’s a little unnerving to most people if the person they are kissing is staring at them all of the time. Open your lips while French kissing.\\nAngle your head to one side so that your noses don’t bump into each other. It’s usually a good idea to start with other kisses rather than immediately French kissing him.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start French kissing him first.\", \"描述\": \"Never forget that you’re not the only one who’s nervous or a little insecure. He probably is too! So if he’s not taking the hint but seems into kissing you, you can initiative the French kiss yourself.\\nStart by gently pushing the tip of your tongue into your partner’s mouth in order to assess his interest. If he doesn’t pull away, that’s your signal.\\nNow find the tip of his tongue with your tongue. Gently brush against it with your tongue. That’s it! You’re French kissing!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Deepen the kiss.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve started the French kiss by touching each other’s tongues, if both are receptive, you can deepen the kiss.\\nFrench kissing is very intimate and a way to bond with your boyfriend. Simply move your tongue deeper into your partner’s mouth to make more contact. A good kiss is a long one in which both tongues are touching.\\nThrust your tongue into his mouth with a little bit more forcefulness. If he’s as passionate about you as you are with him, he will likely move his tongue deeper into your mouth too, touching your tongue with his.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mastering the Art of Kissing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Kiss sensitive areas on his face.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to only French kiss endlessly. Break it up now and then with a little sensual kissing in other ways.\\nFor example, some men or boys have very sensitive ear lobes. Try kissing his ear lobe, his jawline, and his neck, and see how he responds. Embrace him.\\nIf your boyfriend seems to like this, you can move back and forth between such sensual kissing and French kissing. He will likely find it very tantalizing!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become a great kisser.\", \"描述\": \"There are a few key tips to making yourself a better kisser. For one, no one wants to kiss someone who doesn’t take care of his or her breath. So make sure your breath is fresh and your mouth is clean.\\nPop a mint, brush your teeth, use mouthwash, or buy those little mouth freshener strips that dissolve in your mouth or mouth freshener you spray into your mouth if you’re looking for something portable.\\nGo slowly. Don’t think you have to pummel his mouth like a jack hammer. The best kissing usually lets the intensity build and then dissipates before building again. Be sensual. Go slow.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try not to use too much tongue.\", \"描述\": \"One mistake that beginning kissers make is they think they have to shove their entire tongue down their partner's throat.\\nYou don’t. You can just push your tongue into his mouth a little bit and let it dance around. Then thrust it in, but not so far that it feels like you are gagging your partner.\\nBreathe through your nose when kissing. Try not to get saliva all over him. When you’re done with kissing him, wind it down back to the little warm up kisses rather than just suddenly stopping.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do this in private.\\n\", \"Lighter kissing is best!\\n\", \"Don’t bite. Most people don’t like that.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,495 | How to Ask Your Crush Out Without Getting Embarrassed | 1. Preparing Yourself
1-1. Be sure that this person is worth the effort.
Do you really like your crush? Enough to want to take this risk? Is he/she really worth the hassle and the worry? If you really like this person, then you have to be brave. Asking out your crush can be scary, but if you really like them, they're worth the stress.
1-2. Talk to a friend.
Talking to a friend when you're worried about love is probably the best next step They can help you with advice and they may give their own thoughts and opinions. Always trust your best friend. They may even know your crush well and can help you with ideas to ask them out- but always make sure you're happy about the decision.
1-3. Realize that doing something you really care about can only be embarrassing to the extent you care about what others think.
While it's natural to want other people to share our outlook, it's not realistic because people are diverse and hold different perspectives about all things in life. Don't worry about other people, just about your own self and about your crush. And even with your crush, don't worry too much because either this person is going to be the right one for you or they're not, and if they're not, then who cares what they think?
Another way to look at this is to think how much you'd regret not asking out your crush. This can help you to realize how much this matters to you and how important it is to at least try.
1-4. Don't be worried about the answer.
Before you even get the answer, accept that the answer could be anything from an enthusiastic yes to a shy "thanks but no thanks". No matter what it is, acknowledge how brave it is of you to try this at all. And remind yourself that if you don't ask, you'll never know and for all you know, you could end up with your crush!
1-5. Understand that embarrassment has a lesson within it.
That lesson is that you are allowing a fear to hold you back from doing something you really care about. In life, you get what you are courageous enough to ask for. Lean in and get ready to that thing that both excites and scares you!
Prepare ahead what you want to say, so that you don't feel confused or at a loss for words.
Visualize asking out your crush and responding to the different possible ways that your crush might respond, so that you may take their answer with grace.
For help on knowing how to ask out your crush, see How to Ask Out Your Crush.
2. Asking Out Your Crush
2-1. Talk to your crush alone.
This allows a safe space for both of you to react in your own ways without feeling overwhelmed by the stares and ears of other people. It will reduce your feelings of embarrassment and gives you a safety outlet of knowing only your crush is hearing what you have to say. It is also nicer for them, as they have the same safety valve should they feel shy, awkward or uncomfortable too. Do remember that they might be finding this as embarrassing as you!
2-2. Stay calm.
While this is a very exciting and scary moment for you, it is important to stay calm so that you don't blurt everything out and sound muddled or don't make sense. Breathe deeply and consciously, preparing yourself to say what you have to say.
2-3. Ask out your crush.
You've already practiced this part if you followed the suggestion above. Thus, it should be easy to know what to say even if it feels hard to say it.
2-4. Respond to the answer your crush gives you.
Once again, if you followed the suggestion above, you'll already have rehearsed your own reaction to possible responses, so rely on those to say whatever needs to be said.
2-5. Be proud of yourself.
Whatever your crush has to say to you, you have been very brave and very strong. If something happened that upset you, do not be embarrassed; it isn't a failure, it's a learning experience for next time.
Tips
Line up a friend for after the asking out moment. If everything goes well, you can celebrate together. If not, you can commiserate together. At least you'll have someone who has your back in either case.
The best things in life happen when you leave your comfort zone. Give it a go!
Have a breezy comment ready for covering up your nervousness or embarrassment; it can break the ice and ease the tension for you, helping you to stay calm.
Warnings
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Yourself\\n1-1. Be sure that this person is worth the effort.\\nDo you really like your crush? Enough to want to take this risk? Is he/she really worth the hassle and the worry? If you really like this person, then you have to be brave. Asking out your crush can be scary, but if you really like them, they're worth the stress.\\n1-2. Talk to a friend.\\nTalking to a friend when you're worried about love is probably the best next step They can help you with advice and they may give their own thoughts and opinions. Always trust your best friend. They may even know your crush well and can help you with ideas to ask them out- but always make sure you're happy about the decision.\\n1-3. Realize that doing something you really care about can only be embarrassing to the extent you care about what others think.\\nWhile it's natural to want other people to share our outlook, it's not realistic because people are diverse and hold different perspectives about all things in life. Don't worry about other people, just about your own self and about your crush. And even with your crush, don't worry too much because either this person is going to be the right one for you or they're not, and if they're not, then who cares what they think?\\nAnother way to look at this is to think how much you'd regret not asking out your crush. This can help you to realize how much this matters to you and how important it is to at least try.\\n1-4. Don't be worried about the answer.\\nBefore you even get the answer, accept that the answer could be anything from an enthusiastic yes to a shy \\\"thanks but no thanks\\\". No matter what it is, acknowledge how brave it is of you to try this at all. And remind yourself that if you don't ask, you'll never know and for all you know, you could end up with your crush!\\n1-5. Understand that embarrassment has a lesson within it.\\nThat lesson is that you are allowing a fear to hold you back from doing something you really care about. In life, you get what you are courageous enough to ask for. Lean in and get ready to that thing that both excites and scares you!\\nPrepare ahead what you want to say, so that you don't feel confused or at a loss for words.\\nVisualize asking out your crush and responding to the different possible ways that your crush might respond, so that you may take their answer with grace.\\nFor help on knowing how to ask out your crush, see How to Ask Out Your Crush.\\n2. Asking Out Your Crush\\n2-1. Talk to your crush alone.\\nThis allows a safe space for both of you to react in your own ways without feeling overwhelmed by the stares and ears of other people. It will reduce your feelings of embarrassment and gives you a safety outlet of knowing only your crush is hearing what you have to say. It is also nicer for them, as they have the same safety valve should they feel shy, awkward or uncomfortable too. Do remember that they might be finding this as embarrassing as you!\\n2-2. Stay calm.\\nWhile this is a very exciting and scary moment for you, it is important to stay calm so that you don't blurt everything out and sound muddled or don't make sense. Breathe deeply and consciously, preparing yourself to say what you have to say.\\n2-3. Ask out your crush.\\nYou've already practiced this part if you followed the suggestion above. Thus, it should be easy to know what to say even if it feels hard to say it.\\n2-4. Respond to the answer your crush gives you.\\nOnce again, if you followed the suggestion above, you'll already have rehearsed your own reaction to possible responses, so rely on those to say whatever needs to be said.\\n2-5. Be proud of yourself.\\nWhatever your crush has to say to you, you have been very brave and very strong. If something happened that upset you, do not be embarrassed; it isn't a failure, it's a learning experience for next time.\\nTips\\nLine up a friend for after the asking out moment. If everything goes well, you can celebrate together. If not, you can commiserate together. At least you'll have someone who has your back in either case.\\nThe best things in life happen when you leave your comfort zone. Give it a go!\\nHave a breezy comment ready for covering up your nervousness or embarrassment; it can break the ice and ease the tension for you, helping you to stay calm.\\nWarnings\\nNothing ventured, nothing gained.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking out your crush can be scary and you may be worried about getting embarrassed, no matter whether your crush says yes or no. Still, feeling scared won't win you anything, so it's important to find that courage and give it a go, reassured by the fact that it is possible to ask your crush out without getting embarrassed, well at least not too embarrassed anyway.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be sure that this person is worth the effort.\", \"描述\": \"Do you really like your crush? Enough to want to take this risk? Is he/she really worth the hassle and the worry? If you really like this person, then you have to be brave. Asking out your crush can be scary, but if you really like them, they're worth the stress.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to a friend.\", \"描述\": \"Talking to a friend when you're worried about love is probably the best next step They can help you with advice and they may give their own thoughts and opinions. Always trust your best friend. They may even know your crush well and can help you with ideas to ask them out- but always make sure you're happy about the decision.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Realize that doing something you really care about can only be embarrassing to the extent you care about what others think.\", \"描述\": \"While it's natural to want other people to share our outlook, it's not realistic because people are diverse and hold different perspectives about all things in life. Don't worry about other people, just about your own self and about your crush. And even with your crush, don't worry too much because either this person is going to be the right one for you or they're not, and if they're not, then who cares what they think?\\nAnother way to look at this is to think how much you'd regret not asking out your crush. This can help you to realize how much this matters to you and how important it is to at least try.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't be worried about the answer.\", \"描述\": \"Before you even get the answer, accept that the answer could be anything from an enthusiastic yes to a shy \\\"thanks but no thanks\\\". No matter what it is, acknowledge how brave it is of you to try this at all. And remind yourself that if you don't ask, you'll never know and for all you know, you could end up with your crush!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand that embarrassment has a lesson within it.\", \"描述\": \"That lesson is that you are allowing a fear to hold you back from doing something you really care about. In life, you get what you are courageous enough to ask for. Lean in and get ready to that thing that both excites and scares you!\\nPrepare ahead what you want to say, so that you don't feel confused or at a loss for words.\\nVisualize asking out your crush and responding to the different possible ways that your crush might respond, so that you may take their answer with grace.\\nFor help on knowing how to ask out your crush, see How to Ask Out Your Crush.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Out Your Crush\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to your crush alone.\", \"描述\": \"This allows a safe space for both of you to react in your own ways without feeling overwhelmed by the stares and ears of other people. It will reduce your feelings of embarrassment and gives you a safety outlet of knowing only your crush is hearing what you have to say. It is also nicer for them, as they have the same safety valve should they feel shy, awkward or uncomfortable too. Do remember that they might be finding this as embarrassing as you!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"While this is a very exciting and scary moment for you, it is important to stay calm so that you don't blurt everything out and sound muddled or don't make sense. Breathe deeply and consciously, preparing yourself to say what you have to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask out your crush.\", \"描述\": \"You've already practiced this part if you followed the suggestion above. Thus, it should be easy to know what to say even if it feels hard to say it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respond to the answer your crush gives you.\", \"描述\": \"Once again, if you followed the suggestion above, you'll already have rehearsed your own reaction to possible responses, so rely on those to say whatever needs to be said.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be proud of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Whatever your crush has to say to you, you have been very brave and very strong. If something happened that upset you, do not be embarrassed; it isn't a failure, it's a learning experience for next time.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Line up a friend for after the asking out moment. If everything goes well, you can celebrate together. If not, you can commiserate together. At least you'll have someone who has your back in either case.\\n\", \"The best things in life happen when you leave your comfort zone. Give it a go!\\n\", \"Have a breezy comment ready for covering up your nervousness or embarrassment; it can break the ice and ease the tension for you, helping you to stay calm.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Nothing ventured, nothing gained.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,496 | 10+ Cute, Fun and Unique Ways to Ask Out Your Crush | 1. Put a note in a sweet treat.
If your crush has a sweet tooth, grab their favorite bar of chocolate.
Slip a cute note inside the candy and hand it to them after lunch or during dinner.
Your note could say, “Do you wanna be my boyfriend?” or, “I like you a lot. Want to go out sometime?”
If your crush doesn’t like candy, put it in a savory snack instead, like potato chips or pretzels.
2. Buy them flowers.
Everyone loves getting a beautiful bouquet.
Pick out a bunch of flowers that you know your crush will love, then put a note inside asking them to go out.
Roses are the traditional flowers of romance, but you can pick any that you’d like!
You don’t have to break the bank getting flowers. Most grocery stores have beautiful bouquets that you can pick up for under $20.
3. Keep it casual with a gif.
Search up a cute gif that says “will you be mine?”
Send it to your crush via text message for a cool and casual way to ask them out without a ton of pressure.
Follow up your gif with a few heart eyes emojis or kissy faces for an extra cute touch.
If you don’t know your crush well, they might think you’re goofing around. Make sure they know you’re serious!
4. Spell out your question with food.
Invite them over for a fancy meal or a fun brunch.
Use your pancakes, spaghetti, or fruit to spell out “Will you go out with me?”
If your crush has a sweet tooth, write the question in frosting on top of a cake.
Or, spell the question out in hot sauce paired with some tacos.
5. Write a note on a stick of gum.
Unwrap a piece of gum and write a note on the wrapper.
Wrap the piece back up, then offer it to your crush. When they unwrap their stick, they’ll be able to read your sweet note.
You could write, “Will you go out with me?” or, “Be mine?”
Make sure your crush doesn’t throw the note away! If they look like they’re about to crumple the wrapper up without looking at it, slyly suggest that there might be a hidden note in their hands.
6. Make a pun with a can of dates.
Ask your crush, “want one?”
If they say yes, you’re in! Make a plan to go on a real date later that week. If they decline, you can try to explain your play on words just in case they didn’t get it.
Seriously: your crush might just not like dates!
If you can’t find any dates, grab some raisins instead. Then say, “All I got were these raisins! What I really wanted was a date.”
7. Bring them some coffee.
Order them their favorite drink and bring it to them in the morning.
Write a note on it asking them out before you hand it off for a sweet surprise.
Your note could say, “I like you a latte!” or, “This is hard to espresso… but will you be mine?” or, “I’ll take my shot: want to go out sometime?”
If your crush isn't a fan of coffee, bring them some tea instead.
8. Change your name in their phone.
Grab their phone and quickly change your contact name to “Be Mine?”
Hand them their phone back and give them a call! When their phone rings, they’ll look down to see your adorable question.
For an extra cute factor, change your contact picture to a cute baby animal or a heart.
9. Leave them a note in their favorite book.
Write a note on a small piece of paper and slip it inside their favorite book.
When they open it up to read later, your crush will get to see your cute note asking them out on a date.
If they don’t have a favorite book, consider putting the note in their journal, binder, or planner instead.
Or, slide a note inside their phone case.
10. Write a note inside of a pizza box.
Order a pizza and grab the box before your crush gets to it.
Write, “Will you be mine, or is this too cheesy?” on the inside. When your crush opens the box up for a slice, they’ll get a fun surprise.
Almost everyone loves pizza, so it’s a surefire way to get a good reaction!
You could even ask the pizza delivery person to write a note inside the box before they get to your home.
11. Fill the room with balloons.
Get a ton of balloons and bring them to your crush’s house.
Fill up their room with your fun decorations, then wait for them to get home so you can pop the question.
You could even get letter balloons that spell out “be mine?” for some extra sweetness.
Obviously, you should only do this if you’ve been to your crush’s house before and you have their parent’s or roommate’s permission to go inside.
12. Paint your crush a picture.
Use your creativity to inspire romance.
You can paint you and your crush in a candlelit restaurant, eating dinner at sunset, or enjoying the water on the beach. Present them with your painting and ask them out at the same time.
If you can’t paint, that’s okay! Try making a collage, drawing with colored pencils, or using Photoshop instead.
13. Plan a fun scavenger hunt.
Write out 5 to 10 clues and send your crush on a hunt.
When they get to the final clue, leave a note asking them out and surprise them with flowers or chocolates.
If you’ve known your crush for a while, you could pick places that are meaningful to the both of you.
If you don’t know them very well, pick popular spots in your city that might be easy to guess.
14. Dedicate a song to them on social media.
Show off your musical prowess by singing or playing their favorite song.
Post the video to Instagram or Facebook, then ask your crush out in the caption or at the end of the video.
This is a great tactic if you and your crush have been in band or choir together.
If playing music isn’t really your forte, you could always lip sync the lyrics or dance around to the song instead!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Put a note in a sweet treat.\\nIf your crush has a sweet tooth, grab their favorite bar of chocolate.\\nSlip a cute note inside the candy and hand it to them after lunch or during dinner.\\nYour note could say, “Do you wanna be my boyfriend?” or, “I like you a lot. Want to go out sometime?”\\nIf your crush doesn’t like candy, put it in a savory snack instead, like potato chips or pretzels.\\n2. Buy them flowers.\\nEveryone loves getting a beautiful bouquet.\\nPick out a bunch of flowers that you know your crush will love, then put a note inside asking them to go out.\\nRoses are the traditional flowers of romance, but you can pick any that you’d like!\\nYou don’t have to break the bank getting flowers. Most grocery stores have beautiful bouquets that you can pick up for under $20.\\n3. Keep it casual with a gif.\\nSearch up a cute gif that says “will you be mine?”\\nSend it to your crush via text message for a cool and casual way to ask them out without a ton of pressure.\\nFollow up your gif with a few heart eyes emojis or kissy faces for an extra cute touch.\\nIf you don’t know your crush well, they might think you’re goofing around. Make sure they know you’re serious!\\n4. Spell out your question with food.\\nInvite them over for a fancy meal or a fun brunch.\\nUse your pancakes, spaghetti, or fruit to spell out “Will you go out with me?”\\nIf your crush has a sweet tooth, write the question in frosting on top of a cake.\\nOr, spell the question out in hot sauce paired with some tacos.\\n5. Write a note on a stick of gum.\\nUnwrap a piece of gum and write a note on the wrapper.\\nWrap the piece back up, then offer it to your crush. When they unwrap their stick, they’ll be able to read your sweet note.\\nYou could write, “Will you go out with me?” or, “Be mine?”\\nMake sure your crush doesn’t throw the note away! If they look like they’re about to crumple the wrapper up without looking at it, slyly suggest that there might be a hidden note in their hands.\\n6. Make a pun with a can of dates.\\nAsk your crush, “want one?”\\nIf they say yes, you’re in! Make a plan to go on a real date later that week. If they decline, you can try to explain your play on words just in case they didn’t get it.\\nSeriously: your crush might just not like dates!\\nIf you can’t find any dates, grab some raisins instead. Then say, “All I got were these raisins! What I really wanted was a date.”\\n7. Bring them some coffee.\\nOrder them their favorite drink and bring it to them in the morning.\\nWrite a note on it asking them out before you hand it off for a sweet surprise.\\nYour note could say, “I like you a latte!” or, “This is hard to espresso… but will you be mine?” or, “I’ll take my shot: want to go out sometime?”\\nIf your crush isn't a fan of coffee, bring them some tea instead.\\n8. Change your name in their phone.\\nGrab their phone and quickly change your contact name to “Be Mine?”\\nHand them their phone back and give them a call! When their phone rings, they’ll look down to see your adorable question.\\nFor an extra cute factor, change your contact picture to a cute baby animal or a heart.\\n9. Leave them a note in their favorite book.\\nWrite a note on a small piece of paper and slip it inside their favorite book.\\nWhen they open it up to read later, your crush will get to see your cute note asking them out on a date.\\nIf they don’t have a favorite book, consider putting the note in their journal, binder, or planner instead.\\nOr, slide a note inside their phone case.\\n10. Write a note inside of a pizza box.\\nOrder a pizza and grab the box before your crush gets to it.\\nWrite, “Will you be mine, or is this too cheesy?” on the inside. When your crush opens the box up for a slice, they’ll get a fun surprise.\\nAlmost everyone loves pizza, so it’s a surefire way to get a good reaction!\\nYou could even ask the pizza delivery person to write a note inside the box before they get to your home.\\n11. Fill the room with balloons.\\nGet a ton of balloons and bring them to your crush’s house.\\nFill up their room with your fun decorations, then wait for them to get home so you can pop the question.\\nYou could even get letter balloons that spell out “be mine?” for some extra sweetness.\\nObviously, you should only do this if you’ve been to your crush’s house before and you have their parent’s or roommate’s permission to go inside.\\n12. Paint your crush a picture.\\nUse your creativity to inspire romance.\\nYou can paint you and your crush in a candlelit restaurant, eating dinner at sunset, or enjoying the water on the beach. Present them with your painting and ask them out at the same time.\\nIf you can’t paint, that’s okay! Try making a collage, drawing with colored pencils, or using Photoshop instead.\\n13. Plan a fun scavenger hunt.\\nWrite out 5 to 10 clues and send your crush on a hunt.\\nWhen they get to the final clue, leave a note asking them out and surprise them with flowers or chocolates.\\nIf you’ve known your crush for a while, you could pick places that are meaningful to the both of you.\\nIf you don’t know them very well, pick popular spots in your city that might be easy to guess.\\n14. Dedicate a song to them on social media.\\nShow off your musical prowess by singing or playing their favorite song.\\nPost the video to Instagram or Facebook, then ask your crush out in the caption or at the end of the video.\\nThis is a great tactic if you and your crush have been in band or choir together.\\nIf playing music isn’t really your forte, you could always lip sync the lyrics or dance around to the song instead!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’ve been crushing on someone for a while, you’re probably thinking about asking them out. While saying “Wanna go out?” is fine, putting a little thought and effort into your question can make your crush feel extra special. There are a lot of unique ways you ask your crush out that will make them swoon and (hopefully!) say yes. \\n\\nHere are 14 cute and original ways to pop the question to your crush.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put a note in a sweet treat.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your crush has a sweet tooth, grab their favorite bar of chocolate.\", \"描述\": \"Slip a cute note inside the candy and hand it to them after lunch or during dinner.\\nYour note could say, “Do you wanna be my boyfriend?” or, “I like you a lot. Want to go out sometime?”\\nIf your crush doesn’t like candy, put it in a savory snack instead, like potato chips or pretzels.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy them flowers.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Everyone loves getting a beautiful bouquet.\", \"描述\": \"Pick out a bunch of flowers that you know your crush will love, then put a note inside asking them to go out.\\nRoses are the traditional flowers of romance, but you can pick any that you’d like!\\nYou don’t have to break the bank getting flowers. Most grocery stores have beautiful bouquets that you can pick up for under $20.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep it casual with a gif.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Search up a cute gif that says “will you be mine?”\", \"描述\": \"Send it to your crush via text message for a cool and casual way to ask them out without a ton of pressure.\\nFollow up your gif with a few heart eyes emojis or kissy faces for an extra cute touch.\\nIf you don’t know your crush well, they might think you’re goofing around. Make sure they know you’re serious!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spell out your question with food.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invite them over for a fancy meal or a fun brunch.\", \"描述\": \"Use your pancakes, spaghetti, or fruit to spell out “Will you go out with me?”\\nIf your crush has a sweet tooth, write the question in frosting on top of a cake.\\nOr, spell the question out in hot sauce paired with some tacos.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write a note on a stick of gum.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Unwrap a piece of gum and write a note on the wrapper.\", \"描述\": \"Wrap the piece back up, then offer it to your crush. When they unwrap their stick, they’ll be able to read your sweet note.\\nYou could write, “Will you go out with me?” or, “Be mine?”\\nMake sure your crush doesn’t throw the note away! If they look like they’re about to crumple the wrapper up without looking at it, slyly suggest that there might be a hidden note in their hands.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make a pun with a can of dates.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your crush, “want one?”\", \"描述\": \"If they say yes, you’re in! Make a plan to go on a real date later that week. If they decline, you can try to explain your play on words just in case they didn’t get it.\\nSeriously: your crush might just not like dates!\\nIf you can’t find any dates, grab some raisins instead. Then say, “All I got were these raisins! What I really wanted was a date.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Bring them some coffee.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Order them their favorite drink and bring it to them in the morning.\", \"描述\": \"Write a note on it asking them out before you hand it off for a sweet surprise.\\nYour note could say, “I like you a latte!” or, “This is hard to espresso… but will you be mine?” or, “I’ll take my shot: want to go out sometime?”\\nIf your crush isn't a fan of coffee, bring them some tea instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Change your name in their phone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Grab their phone and quickly change your contact name to “Be Mine?”\", \"描述\": \"Hand them their phone back and give them a call! When their phone rings, they’ll look down to see your adorable question.\\nFor an extra cute factor, change your contact picture to a cute baby animal or a heart.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Leave them a note in their favorite book.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write a note on a small piece of paper and slip it inside their favorite book.\", \"描述\": \"When they open it up to read later, your crush will get to see your cute note asking them out on a date.\\nIf they don’t have a favorite book, consider putting the note in their journal, binder, or planner instead.\\nOr, slide a note inside their phone case.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Write a note inside of a pizza box.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Order a pizza and grab the box before your crush gets to it.\", \"描述\": \"Write, “Will you be mine, or is this too cheesy?” on the inside. When your crush opens the box up for a slice, they’ll get a fun surprise.\\nAlmost everyone loves pizza, so it’s a surefire way to get a good reaction!\\nYou could even ask the pizza delivery person to write a note inside the box before they get to your home.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Fill the room with balloons.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a ton of balloons and bring them to your crush’s house.\", \"描述\": \"Fill up their room with your fun decorations, then wait for them to get home so you can pop the question.\\nYou could even get letter balloons that spell out “be mine?” for some extra sweetness.\\nObviously, you should only do this if you’ve been to your crush’s house before and you have their parent’s or roommate’s permission to go inside.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Paint your crush a picture.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use your creativity to inspire romance.\", \"描述\": \"You can paint you and your crush in a candlelit restaurant, eating dinner at sunset, or enjoying the water on the beach. Present them with your painting and ask them out at the same time.\\nIf you can’t paint, that’s okay! Try making a collage, drawing with colored pencils, or using Photoshop instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Plan a fun scavenger hunt.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write out 5 to 10 clues and send your crush on a hunt.\", \"描述\": \"When they get to the final clue, leave a note asking them out and surprise them with flowers or chocolates.\\nIf you’ve known your crush for a while, you could pick places that are meaningful to the both of you.\\nIf you don’t know them very well, pick popular spots in your city that might be easy to guess.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Dedicate a song to them on social media.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show off your musical prowess by singing or playing their favorite song.\", \"描述\": \"Post the video to Instagram or Facebook, then ask your crush out in the caption or at the end of the video.\\nThis is a great tactic if you and your crush have been in band or choir together.\\nIf playing music isn’t really your forte, you could always lip sync the lyrics or dance around to the song instead!\"}]}]}}",
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2,497 | How to Ask Your Crush Out on Instagram: Your Most Important Questions Answered | 1. How do you get your crush’s attention on Instagram?
1-1. Try liking a few of their photos.
Try to like 4 or 5 of their photos so they know it’s intentional. If your crush likes a few of your photos back, it’s a good sign that they might be interested.
People with a lot of followers might not notice that you liked multiple photos. If they have more than 10k, don’t get offended if they don’t like your pics back.
This is a nice way to get someone’s attention, but it doesn’t send a clear message! Make sure you follow up with a comment or a DM too.
1-2. Leave a comment to say hello.
Find an interesting looking photo and comment something about it. Keep it cool and casual to let your crush know that you’re thinking about them without being too overbearing. For example:
“You guys look great here. Where was this taken?”
“OMG, was this from the school trip last year?”
“I really like this photo. You’re a great photographer!”
2. How do you start a conversation with your crush?
2-1. Reply to their story.
When you’re ready to slide into their DMs, try responding to a story they post. Don’t just use an emoji reaction; instead, try to say something like:
“Whoa, that food looks good! What restaurant is that?”
“Wow, nice nature shot. Is that on Multnomah Falls?”
“I really like your outfit. You look super good in this pic.”
2-2. Post something you know they’ll reply to.
This is a slightly more risky move, but if you know your crush well, you can try it. If they’re into the outdoors, take a picture of your next hike so they ask which trail you’re on. If your crush is a foodie, post a pic of your favorite dish so you can talk about the new restaurant in town.
You could even post a cute selfie to see if they send you a compliment.
Unfortunately, there’s no guarantee that your crush will reply to a picture you post.
3. What should you talk about with your crush?
3-1. Make them laugh with a few memes.
Keep your conversation casual with some funny pics. Send them a meme or two that you have saved on your phone to see if they think it’s funny.
If you know your crush IRL, you might know a little about their humor and what they think is funny. If you don’t, just send them a pic that you think is hilarious to get the ball rolling.
If they like or respond to your pic, you can keep the conversation going! If they read it but don’t reply, it’s best to just move on.
3-2. Talk about your common interests.
Check out their profile to see what they like. If you both like coffee, see if they’ve been to the new cafe in your town. If you’re both into sports, ask them about the national team. Keep the conversation going by chatting about the small stuff.
If you know your crush in person, you could even talk about your work or school life.
4. What is a cute way to ask your crush out on Instagram?
4-1. Request to meet their dog if they have one.
People love to talk about their animals, so ask your crush about theirs. If they post a photo of their pup, tell them you’d love to meet up in a park nearby.
Say something like, “Is that your dog? I’d love to meet him!”
Or, “My dog has been needing a playdate buddy.”
4-2. Suggest a fun date activity for the two of you.
Keep your common interests in mind when you ask them out. You could go to a movie, grab a bite to eat, or head out for drinks. Go for something casual where you two can get to know each other.
Send them a DM like, “I really like talking to you. Would you want to continue this conversation over dinner?”
Or, “I noticed there’s a new mini golf place in town. Wanna hit that up this weekend?”
5. What’s a casual way to ask someone out on Instagram?
5-1. Ask for their number to take things slow.
You don’t have to dive into asking them out right away. If you want to see where this is going, try asking for their digits so you two can text.
Send them a DM like, “Here’s my number if you want to chat more.”
Or, “I’m super bad at checking Instagram notifications. Here’s my number instead.”
5-2. Be upfront about a date to make your feelings known.
You can’t go wrong with being straightforward. If you and your crush have been DMing for a while, tell them that you like where this is going and ask them out on a date. For example:
“I’m just gonna put it out there: do you wanna grab a coffee later this week?”
“I really like talking to you. Would you wanna get a drink some time?”
“I think I like you. Can we hang out in person?”
5-3. Ask them to meet up when they’re in town if they live far away.
If your crush lives in another city, tell them you’re available when they get here. If you see them posting on their story that they’re nearby, send them a quick DM asking to get together later.
Try something like, “If you’re still out later, we should grab a drink!”
Or, “I’d love to take you sightseeing tomorrow.”
For a more subtle approach, say something like, “You’re in town??”
Tips
If your crush rejects you, don’t sweat it. Treat every rejection like a lesson and move onto someone else.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. How do you get your crush’s attention on Instagram?\\n1-1. Try liking a few of their photos.\\nTry to like 4 or 5 of their photos so they know it’s intentional. If your crush likes a few of your photos back, it’s a good sign that they might be interested.\\nPeople with a lot of followers might not notice that you liked multiple photos. If they have more than 10k, don’t get offended if they don’t like your pics back.\\nThis is a nice way to get someone’s attention, but it doesn’t send a clear message! Make sure you follow up with a comment or a DM too.\\n1-2. Leave a comment to say hello.\\nFind an interesting looking photo and comment something about it. Keep it cool and casual to let your crush know that you’re thinking about them without being too overbearing. For example:\\n“You guys look great here. Where was this taken?”\\n“OMG, was this from the school trip last year?”\\n“I really like this photo. You’re a great photographer!”\\n2. How do you start a conversation with your crush?\\n2-1. Reply to their story.\\nWhen you’re ready to slide into their DMs, try responding to a story they post. Don’t just use an emoji reaction; instead, try to say something like:\\n“Whoa, that food looks good! What restaurant is that?”\\n“Wow, nice nature shot. Is that on Multnomah Falls?”\\n“I really like your outfit. You look super good in this pic.”\\n2-2. Post something you know they’ll reply to.\\nThis is a slightly more risky move, but if you know your crush well, you can try it. If they’re into the outdoors, take a picture of your next hike so they ask which trail you’re on. If your crush is a foodie, post a pic of your favorite dish so you can talk about the new restaurant in town.\\nYou could even post a cute selfie to see if they send you a compliment.\\nUnfortunately, there’s no guarantee that your crush will reply to a picture you post.\\n3. What should you talk about with your crush?\\n3-1. Make them laugh with a few memes.\\nKeep your conversation casual with some funny pics. Send them a meme or two that you have saved on your phone to see if they think it’s funny.\\nIf you know your crush IRL, you might know a little about their humor and what they think is funny. If you don’t, just send them a pic that you think is hilarious to get the ball rolling.\\nIf they like or respond to your pic, you can keep the conversation going! If they read it but don’t reply, it’s best to just move on.\\n3-2. Talk about your common interests.\\nCheck out their profile to see what they like. If you both like coffee, see if they’ve been to the new cafe in your town. If you’re both into sports, ask them about the national team. Keep the conversation going by chatting about the small stuff.\\nIf you know your crush in person, you could even talk about your work or school life.\\n4. What is a cute way to ask your crush out on Instagram?\\n4-1. Request to meet their dog if they have one.\\nPeople love to talk about their animals, so ask your crush about theirs. If they post a photo of their pup, tell them you’d love to meet up in a park nearby.\\nSay something like, “Is that your dog? I’d love to meet him!”\\nOr, “My dog has been needing a playdate buddy.”\\n4-2. Suggest a fun date activity for the two of you.\\nKeep your common interests in mind when you ask them out. You could go to a movie, grab a bite to eat, or head out for drinks. Go for something casual where you two can get to know each other.\\nSend them a DM like, “I really like talking to you. Would you want to continue this conversation over dinner?”\\nOr, “I noticed there’s a new mini golf place in town. Wanna hit that up this weekend?”\\n5. What’s a casual way to ask someone out on Instagram?\\n5-1. Ask for their number to take things slow.\\nYou don’t have to dive into asking them out right away. If you want to see where this is going, try asking for their digits so you two can text.\\nSend them a DM like, “Here’s my number if you want to chat more.”\\nOr, “I’m super bad at checking Instagram notifications. Here’s my number instead.”\\n5-2. Be upfront about a date to make your feelings known.\\nYou can’t go wrong with being straightforward. If you and your crush have been DMing for a while, tell them that you like where this is going and ask them out on a date. For example:\\n“I’m just gonna put it out there: do you wanna grab a coffee later this week?”\\n“I really like talking to you. Would you wanna get a drink some time?”\\n“I think I like you. Can we hang out in person?”\\n5-3. Ask them to meet up when they’re in town if they live far away.\\nIf your crush lives in another city, tell them you’re available when they get here. If you see them posting on their story that they’re nearby, send them a quick DM asking to get together later.\\nTry something like, “If you’re still out later, we should grab a drink!”\\nOr, “I’d love to take you sightseeing tomorrow.”\\nFor a more subtle approach, say something like, “You’re in town??”\\nTips\\nIf your crush rejects you, don’t sweat it. Treat every rejection like a lesson and move onto someone else.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’ve been crushing on someone for a while, you’re probably dying to ask them out. Making a move over Instagram can be a little less nerve-wracking than trying to ask them in person. But how exactly do you flirt over social media? With these tips, tricks, and smooth DM examples, you can let your crush know that you like them and want to hang out IRL.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"How do you get your crush’s attention on Instagram?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try liking a few of their photos.\", \"描述\": \"Try to like 4 or 5 of their photos so they know it’s intentional. If your crush likes a few of your photos back, it’s a good sign that they might be interested.\\nPeople with a lot of followers might not notice that you liked multiple photos. If they have more than 10k, don’t get offended if they don’t like your pics back.\\nThis is a nice way to get someone’s attention, but it doesn’t send a clear message! Make sure you follow up with a comment or a DM too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Leave a comment to say hello.\", \"描述\": \"Find an interesting looking photo and comment something about it. Keep it cool and casual to let your crush know that you’re thinking about them without being too overbearing. For example:\\n“You guys look great here. Where was this taken?”\\n“OMG, was this from the school trip last year?”\\n“I really like this photo. You’re a great photographer!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"How do you start a conversation with your crush?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reply to their story.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re ready to slide into their DMs, try responding to a story they post. Don’t just use an emoji reaction; instead, try to say something like:\\n“Whoa, that food looks good! What restaurant is that?”\\n“Wow, nice nature shot. Is that on Multnomah Falls?”\\n“I really like your outfit. You look super good in this pic.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Post something you know they’ll reply to.\", \"描述\": \"This is a slightly more risky move, but if you know your crush well, you can try it. If they’re into the outdoors, take a picture of your next hike so they ask which trail you’re on. If your crush is a foodie, post a pic of your favorite dish so you can talk about the new restaurant in town.\\nYou could even post a cute selfie to see if they send you a compliment.\\nUnfortunately, there’s no guarantee that your crush will reply to a picture you post.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"What should you talk about with your crush?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make them laugh with a few memes.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your conversation casual with some funny pics. Send them a meme or two that you have saved on your phone to see if they think it’s funny.\\nIf you know your crush IRL, you might know a little about their humor and what they think is funny. If you don’t, just send them a pic that you think is hilarious to get the ball rolling.\\nIf they like or respond to your pic, you can keep the conversation going! If they read it but don’t reply, it’s best to just move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk about your common interests.\", \"描述\": \"Check out their profile to see what they like. If you both like coffee, see if they’ve been to the new cafe in your town. If you’re both into sports, ask them about the national team. Keep the conversation going by chatting about the small stuff.\\nIf you know your crush in person, you could even talk about your work or school life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"What is a cute way to ask your crush out on Instagram?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Request to meet their dog if they have one.\", \"描述\": \"People love to talk about their animals, so ask your crush about theirs. If they post a photo of their pup, tell them you’d love to meet up in a park nearby.\\nSay something like, “Is that your dog? I’d love to meet him!”\\nOr, “My dog has been needing a playdate buddy.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Suggest a fun date activity for the two of you.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your common interests in mind when you ask them out. You could go to a movie, grab a bite to eat, or head out for drinks. Go for something casual where you two can get to know each other.\\nSend them a DM like, “I really like talking to you. Would you want to continue this conversation over dinner?”\\nOr, “I noticed there’s a new mini golf place in town. Wanna hit that up this weekend?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"What’s a casual way to ask someone out on Instagram?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask for their number to take things slow.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to dive into asking them out right away. If you want to see where this is going, try asking for their digits so you two can text.\\nSend them a DM like, “Here’s my number if you want to chat more.”\\nOr, “I’m super bad at checking Instagram notifications. Here’s my number instead.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be upfront about a date to make your feelings known.\", \"描述\": \"You can’t go wrong with being straightforward. If you and your crush have been DMing for a while, tell them that you like where this is going and ask them out on a date. For example:\\n“I’m just gonna put it out there: do you wanna grab a coffee later this week?”\\n“I really like talking to you. Would you wanna get a drink some time?”\\n“I think I like you. Can we hang out in person?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask them to meet up when they’re in town if they live far away.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush lives in another city, tell them you’re available when they get here. If you see them posting on their story that they’re nearby, send them a quick DM asking to get together later.\\nTry something like, “If you’re still out later, we should grab a drink!”\\nOr, “I’d love to take you sightseeing tomorrow.”\\nFor a more subtle approach, say something like, “You’re in town??”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If your crush rejects you, don’t sweat it. Treat every rejection like a lesson and move onto someone else.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,498 | How to Ask Your Crush for Their Cell Phone Number | 1. Asking Directly
1-1. Smile and be confident.
The most important thing when asking for a number is that you seem enthusiastic about the idea of calling your crush. Practice smiling and asking for your crush’s number in the mirror before you actually do it; this can help you work through your nervousness before you talk to them.
To appear more confident even if you’re not feeling confident, smile, stand up straight, and make eye contact with your crush when talking to them.
If you know in advance you'll be asking your crush for their number, spend a little extra time getting ready so you'll feel more confident. You can also listen to music or dance to get yourself physically pumped up and excited.
Don't be afraid to be yourself. You're more likely to find success if you come across as honest and genuine than if you seem nervous or like you need your crush's approval.
1-2. Ask “What’s your number?”
. If a conversation is going well, you can simply ask your crush for their number. This shows that you’re interested in talking to them more and you’re confident that they would want to give their number to you.
Have your phone or a pen out and ready when you ask; this shows that you have no doubt about your crush giving you their number.
1-3. Try “I have to go but I’d like to talk more.
This approach lets the person know directly that you want to talk to them again, and also that you’re busy and organized. Have your phone or a pen ready to get their number quickly.
Text your crush right after you part ways. Say, “It’s me! Save my number.”
1-4. Say, “Let’s exchange numbers” if you mentioned plans or interests.
This approach works best if the conversation headed toward things you both like to do or an event you both were going to. For example, you mention a party and your crush says they also want to go. You can say, “Let’s exchange numbers, maybe we can go together.”
Follow up with your crush soon after this conversation by texting them “Looking forward to that party” or something similar.
1-5. Give them your number first if you’re too nervous to ask for theirs.
Say, “I’d like to talk to you more, let me give you my number.” This works well if your crush has their phone out already; you can hold your hand out as you say “let me give you my number” to enter your number in their phone for them.
Don’t grab your crush’s phone from their hand; this may come across as aggressive. If your crush seems reluctant to hand over their phone, just wait for them to respond. They will probably look down at their phone as they type and let you know when they’re ready for the number. If you do grab their phone, they might feel threatened or forced into the relationship.
1-6. Smile and say “no problem” if they say no.
Always remember that you want to date someone who’s interested in you, and if your crush isn’t, it’s better for you to know and move on. Don’t ask them again or try to pressure them, cry, or look embarrassed. Even if you feel embarrassed, try to shrug it off as no big deal.
Try not to worry much about being rejected. It happens to people all the time, and you will eventually find someone who is interested in you.
2. Starting a Conversation
2-1. Give them a genuine compliment before asking for their number.
A great way to get your crush’s attention is by complimenting them. Tell them you like something that they’re wearing or something they did, then say something else to give them the chance to respond. If your conversation goes well, ask for their number at the end of it or next time you see them.
For example, say “I like those shoes a lot – my brother probably would too. Where’d you get them?”
Or try, “You did a great job on that project. I can tell you worked hard on it. Maybe you can give me some pointers on public speaking sometime.”
2-2. Ask them to help you with something then ask for their number.
This works well if you see someone out in public who you’d like to talk to. Get their attention by asking for directions or help getting something from a shelf. Try, “Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the library?” or “Are you able to reach this for me?” After they help you, thank them and try starting another conversation and asking for their number if they seem interested in you.
If the person avoids you or helps you quickly then walks away, thank them and then leave them alone. Do not follow a person in public, or they may think you are harassing them.
2-3. Plan a study date so you have to exchange numbers.
If your crush is someone that you go to school with or work with, let them know you’d like to spend more time with them by arranging a study date. Say, “It seems like you know a lot about this topic. Want to come over after school to talk about it more?”
If they seem interested in studying with you, mention a certain time and place to meet, and ask for their number so you can stay in touch about the meeting.
2-4. Invite them to do something they’re interested in so they give you their number.
If you know that your crush plays a certain sport or instrument, or likes a certain type of music, bring the topic up with them when you see them. Tell them about a game or concert that’s happening and ask if they’d like to go with you. Or if you can’t pay for tickets, invite them to play the sport with you, go on a bike ride, or go to a music store with you.
If they seem interested in your idea, ask for their number so you can make further plans.
2-5. Read their signals.
When having a conversation with your crush, it’s important to watch for signs that they’re interested in you. If they smile, make eye contact, and answer your questions enthusiastically, these are all signs that they are possibly interested in exchanging numbers.
On the other hand, if your crush avoids eye contact, tries to walk away or look away from you, or doesn’t answer you or gives one-word responses, these are all signals that they may not be interested, unfortunately. Don’t appear desperate or needy, and back off.
3. Flirting to Get a Number
3-1. Call or text yourself from their phone.
If you’ve already established a good rapport with your crush, you can playfully reach for their phone when they have it out. When you do this, say, “I’m giving you my number. We should hang out sometime,” so they don’t think you’re just trying to creep or be nosy on their phone.
Once your crush has your number, they’ll give you their number by calling or texting you if they’re interested.
3-2. Make flirty comments on social media.
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat are all ways to get your crush’s attention that aren’t as direct as asking for their number in person. Send them a friend or follow request and start liking their posts. Gradually leave compliments and nice comments on their posts to establish a good rapport.
If your crush starts liking and leaving nice comments back on your social media posts, it’s possible that they’re interested in you and you can confidently ask for their number.
Leave them a direct message on whatever app you’ve been connecting on. Ask if they’d like to get together in person sometime, and if so, if you can have their number to text them.
3-3. Write your number on a napkin or comment card.
If your crush works at a restaurant or other public place, you can flirtatiously express your interest in them by giving them your number on a napkin or comment card. Be sure to leave your name with the number. If they’re interested, all you have to do is wait for their call or text.
Tips
It's a good idea to let your crush know from the start that you're interested in dating them. That way, they won't mistake your intentions for just friendship.[17]
X
Expert Source
JT TranDating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
Think twice before saying, “Can I?” or “Is it okay if?” Starting your request for your crush’s number with these phrases may make you sound unsure of yourself and of your chances that you’re getting their number. Remember to sound confident, even if you’re actually nervous.[18]
X
Research source
Asking for their Instagram is much easier. Many people are more willing to give out their Instagram than their number. You still have the opportunity to text them so it works out the same way.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Directly\\n1-1. Smile and be confident.\\nThe most important thing when asking for a number is that you seem enthusiastic about the idea of calling your crush. Practice smiling and asking for your crush’s number in the mirror before you actually do it; this can help you work through your nervousness before you talk to them.\\nTo appear more confident even if you’re not feeling confident, smile, stand up straight, and make eye contact with your crush when talking to them.\\nIf you know in advance you'll be asking your crush for their number, spend a little extra time getting ready so you'll feel more confident. You can also listen to music or dance to get yourself physically pumped up and excited.\\nDon't be afraid to be yourself. You're more likely to find success if you come across as honest and genuine than if you seem nervous or like you need your crush's approval.\\n1-2. Ask “What’s your number?”\\n. If a conversation is going well, you can simply ask your crush for their number. This shows that you’re interested in talking to them more and you’re confident that they would want to give their number to you.\\nHave your phone or a pen out and ready when you ask; this shows that you have no doubt about your crush giving you their number.\\n1-3. Try “I have to go but I’d like to talk more.\\nThis approach lets the person know directly that you want to talk to them again, and also that you’re busy and organized. Have your phone or a pen ready to get their number quickly.\\nText your crush right after you part ways. Say, “It’s me! Save my number.”\\n1-4. Say, “Let’s exchange numbers” if you mentioned plans or interests.\\nThis approach works best if the conversation headed toward things you both like to do or an event you both were going to. For example, you mention a party and your crush says they also want to go. You can say, “Let’s exchange numbers, maybe we can go together.”\\nFollow up with your crush soon after this conversation by texting them “Looking forward to that party” or something similar.\\n1-5. Give them your number first if you’re too nervous to ask for theirs.\\nSay, “I’d like to talk to you more, let me give you my number.” This works well if your crush has their phone out already; you can hold your hand out as you say “let me give you my number” to enter your number in their phone for them.\\nDon’t grab your crush’s phone from their hand; this may come across as aggressive. If your crush seems reluctant to hand over their phone, just wait for them to respond. They will probably look down at their phone as they type and let you know when they’re ready for the number. If you do grab their phone, they might feel threatened or forced into the relationship.\\n1-6. Smile and say “no problem” if they say no.\\nAlways remember that you want to date someone who’s interested in you, and if your crush isn’t, it’s better for you to know and move on. Don’t ask them again or try to pressure them, cry, or look embarrassed. Even if you feel embarrassed, try to shrug it off as no big deal.\\nTry not to worry much about being rejected. It happens to people all the time, and you will eventually find someone who is interested in you.\\n2. Starting a Conversation\\n2-1. Give them a genuine compliment before asking for their number.\\nA great way to get your crush’s attention is by complimenting them. Tell them you like something that they’re wearing or something they did, then say something else to give them the chance to respond. If your conversation goes well, ask for their number at the end of it or next time you see them.\\nFor example, say “I like those shoes a lot – my brother probably would too. Where’d you get them?”\\nOr try, “You did a great job on that project. I can tell you worked hard on it. Maybe you can give me some pointers on public speaking sometime.”\\n2-2. Ask them to help you with something then ask for their number.\\nThis works well if you see someone out in public who you’d like to talk to. Get their attention by asking for directions or help getting something from a shelf. Try, “Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the library?” or “Are you able to reach this for me?” After they help you, thank them and try starting another conversation and asking for their number if they seem interested in you.\\nIf the person avoids you or helps you quickly then walks away, thank them and then leave them alone. Do not follow a person in public, or they may think you are harassing them.\\n2-3. Plan a study date so you have to exchange numbers.\\nIf your crush is someone that you go to school with or work with, let them know you’d like to spend more time with them by arranging a study date. Say, “It seems like you know a lot about this topic. Want to come over after school to talk about it more?”\\nIf they seem interested in studying with you, mention a certain time and place to meet, and ask for their number so you can stay in touch about the meeting.\\n2-4. Invite them to do something they’re interested in so they give you their number.\\nIf you know that your crush plays a certain sport or instrument, or likes a certain type of music, bring the topic up with them when you see them. Tell them about a game or concert that’s happening and ask if they’d like to go with you. Or if you can’t pay for tickets, invite them to play the sport with you, go on a bike ride, or go to a music store with you.\\nIf they seem interested in your idea, ask for their number so you can make further plans.\\n2-5. Read their signals.\\nWhen having a conversation with your crush, it’s important to watch for signs that they’re interested in you. If they smile, make eye contact, and answer your questions enthusiastically, these are all signs that they are possibly interested in exchanging numbers.\\nOn the other hand, if your crush avoids eye contact, tries to walk away or look away from you, or doesn’t answer you or gives one-word responses, these are all signals that they may not be interested, unfortunately. Don’t appear desperate or needy, and back off.\\n3. Flirting to Get a Number\\n3-1. Call or text yourself from their phone.\\nIf you’ve already established a good rapport with your crush, you can playfully reach for their phone when they have it out. When you do this, say, “I’m giving you my number. We should hang out sometime,” so they don’t think you’re just trying to creep or be nosy on their phone.\\nOnce your crush has your number, they’ll give you their number by calling or texting you if they’re interested.\\n3-2. Make flirty comments on social media.\\nFacebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat are all ways to get your crush’s attention that aren’t as direct as asking for their number in person. Send them a friend or follow request and start liking their posts. Gradually leave compliments and nice comments on their posts to establish a good rapport.\\nIf your crush starts liking and leaving nice comments back on your social media posts, it’s possible that they’re interested in you and you can confidently ask for their number.\\nLeave them a direct message on whatever app you’ve been connecting on. Ask if they’d like to get together in person sometime, and if so, if you can have their number to text them.\\n3-3. Write your number on a napkin or comment card.\\nIf your crush works at a restaurant or other public place, you can flirtatiously express your interest in them by giving them your number on a napkin or comment card. Be sure to leave your name with the number. If they’re interested, all you have to do is wait for their call or text.\\nTips\\nIt's a good idea to let your crush know from the start that you're interested in dating them. That way, they won't mistake your intentions for just friendship.[17]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nJT TranDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 5 May 2020.\\nThink twice before saying, “Can I?” or “Is it okay if?” Starting your request for your crush’s number with these phrases may make you sound unsure of yourself and of your chances that you’re getting their number. Remember to sound confident, even if you’re actually nervous.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nAsking for their Instagram is much easier. Many people are more willing to give out their Instagram than their number. You still have the opportunity to text them so it works out the same way.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking your crush for their number can seem scary, but it doesn’t have to be! If you already have a good feeling about the conversation you’re having with your crush, you can easily ask them directly for their number using a choice of confident phrases. If you’re crushing on someone who you haven’t talked to much yet, there are ways to start a conversation with your crush. There are also more indirect, flirtatious ways to get your crush’s number.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Directly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile and be confident.\", \"描述\": \"The most important thing when asking for a number is that you seem enthusiastic about the idea of calling your crush. Practice smiling and asking for your crush’s number in the mirror before you actually do it; this can help you work through your nervousness before you talk to them.\\nTo appear more confident even if you’re not feeling confident, smile, stand up straight, and make eye contact with your crush when talking to them.\\nIf you know in advance you'll be asking your crush for their number, spend a little extra time getting ready so you'll feel more confident. You can also listen to music or dance to get yourself physically pumped up and excited.\\nDon't be afraid to be yourself. You're more likely to find success if you come across as honest and genuine than if you seem nervous or like you need your crush's approval.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask “What’s your number?”\", \"描述\": \". If a conversation is going well, you can simply ask your crush for their number. This shows that you’re interested in talking to them more and you’re confident that they would want to give their number to you.\\nHave your phone or a pen out and ready when you ask; this shows that you have no doubt about your crush giving you their number.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try “I have to go but I’d like to talk more.\", \"描述\": \"This approach lets the person know directly that you want to talk to them again, and also that you’re busy and organized. Have your phone or a pen ready to get their number quickly.\\nText your crush right after you part ways. Say, “It’s me! Save my number.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say, “Let’s exchange numbers” if you mentioned plans or interests.\", \"描述\": \"This approach works best if the conversation headed toward things you both like to do or an event you both were going to. For example, you mention a party and your crush says they also want to go. You can say, “Let’s exchange numbers, maybe we can go together.”\\nFollow up with your crush soon after this conversation by texting them “Looking forward to that party” or something similar.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give them your number first if you’re too nervous to ask for theirs.\", \"描述\": \"Say, “I’d like to talk to you more, let me give you my number.” This works well if your crush has their phone out already; you can hold your hand out as you say “let me give you my number” to enter your number in their phone for them.\\nDon’t grab your crush’s phone from their hand; this may come across as aggressive. If your crush seems reluctant to hand over their phone, just wait for them to respond. They will probably look down at their phone as they type and let you know when they’re ready for the number. If you do grab their phone, they might feel threatened or forced into the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Smile and say “no problem” if they say no.\", \"描述\": \"Always remember that you want to date someone who’s interested in you, and if your crush isn’t, it’s better for you to know and move on. Don’t ask them again or try to pressure them, cry, or look embarrassed. Even if you feel embarrassed, try to shrug it off as no big deal.\\nTry not to worry much about being rejected. It happens to people all the time, and you will eventually find someone who is interested in you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Starting a Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give them a genuine compliment before asking for their number.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to get your crush’s attention is by complimenting them. Tell them you like something that they’re wearing or something they did, then say something else to give them the chance to respond. If your conversation goes well, ask for their number at the end of it or next time you see them.\\nFor example, say “I like those shoes a lot – my brother probably would too. Where’d you get them?”\\nOr try, “You did a great job on that project. I can tell you worked hard on it. Maybe you can give me some pointers on public speaking sometime.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask them to help you with something then ask for their number.\", \"描述\": \"This works well if you see someone out in public who you’d like to talk to. Get their attention by asking for directions or help getting something from a shelf. Try, “Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the library?” or “Are you able to reach this for me?” After they help you, thank them and try starting another conversation and asking for their number if they seem interested in you.\\nIf the person avoids you or helps you quickly then walks away, thank them and then leave them alone. Do not follow a person in public, or they may think you are harassing them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plan a study date so you have to exchange numbers.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush is someone that you go to school with or work with, let them know you’d like to spend more time with them by arranging a study date. Say, “It seems like you know a lot about this topic. Want to come over after school to talk about it more?”\\nIf they seem interested in studying with you, mention a certain time and place to meet, and ask for their number so you can stay in touch about the meeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Invite them to do something they’re interested in so they give you their number.\", \"描述\": \"If you know that your crush plays a certain sport or instrument, or likes a certain type of music, bring the topic up with them when you see them. Tell them about a game or concert that’s happening and ask if they’d like to go with you. Or if you can’t pay for tickets, invite them to play the sport with you, go on a bike ride, or go to a music store with you.\\nIf they seem interested in your idea, ask for their number so you can make further plans.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Read their signals.\", \"描述\": \"When having a conversation with your crush, it’s important to watch for signs that they’re interested in you. If they smile, make eye contact, and answer your questions enthusiastically, these are all signs that they are possibly interested in exchanging numbers.\\nOn the other hand, if your crush avoids eye contact, tries to walk away or look away from you, or doesn’t answer you or gives one-word responses, these are all signals that they may not be interested, unfortunately. Don’t appear desperate or needy, and back off.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flirting to Get a Number\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Call or text yourself from their phone.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve already established a good rapport with your crush, you can playfully reach for their phone when they have it out. When you do this, say, “I’m giving you my number. We should hang out sometime,” so they don’t think you’re just trying to creep or be nosy on their phone.\\nOnce your crush has your number, they’ll give you their number by calling or texting you if they’re interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make flirty comments on social media.\", \"描述\": \"Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat are all ways to get your crush’s attention that aren’t as direct as asking for their number in person. Send them a friend or follow request and start liking their posts. Gradually leave compliments and nice comments on their posts to establish a good rapport.\\nIf your crush starts liking and leaving nice comments back on your social media posts, it’s possible that they’re interested in you and you can confidently ask for their number.\\nLeave them a direct message on whatever app you’ve been connecting on. Ask if they’d like to get together in person sometime, and if so, if you can have their number to text them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write your number on a napkin or comment card.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush works at a restaurant or other public place, you can flirtatiously express your interest in them by giving them your number on a napkin or comment card. Be sure to leave your name with the number. If they’re interested, all you have to do is wait for their call or text.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It's a good idea to let your crush know from the start that you're interested in dating them. That way, they won't mistake your intentions for just friendship.[17]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nJT TranDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 5 May 2020.\\n\", \"Think twice before saying, “Can I?” or “Is it okay if?” Starting your request for your crush’s number with these phrases may make you sound unsure of yourself and of your chances that you’re getting their number. Remember to sound confident, even if you’re actually nervous.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Asking for their Instagram is much easier. Many people are more willing to give out their Instagram than their number. You still have the opportunity to text them so it works out the same way.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,499 | How to Ask Your Crush out in Five Minutes | 1. Working Up Your Courage
1-1. Give yourself a pep talk beforehand.
Remember that the more practice you get with asking people out, the better you will get at it. Try to think of this as getting good practice. Look in a mirror at home and give a list of all your good qualities, like “you’re smart, you’re talented, you’re good at music,” etc.
Remember that each time you ask a person out, it gets you one step closer to getting a yes from the right person. You will eventually meet someone who’s right for you.
1-2. Try not to worry too much about being rejected.
Getting rejected happens to everyone at some point. You should try not to think of getting rejected as the same as being a loser, or being someone not worth going out with. There are many reasons people say no to dates, including they are really busy or they are already seeing someone else.
If your crush says no, it’s not an attack on you as a person. They probably just have their own reasons. You will eventually find someone who’s interested in going out with you.
1-3. Visualize yourself successfully asking your crush out.
Ask a professional athlete what most helps them before a successful game, and most will tell you that they visualize completing good plays, a win, or crossing the finish line first. Visualizing what you want helps it to happen. It also helps your nerves because you see yourself getting what you want instead of what you don’t want.
1-4. Take deep breaths right before you ask.
A great way to calm your nerves before doing something you’re anxious about is to take deep breaths. Getting more oxygen helps you to physically relax, which helps you to emotionally relax as well. Take 3-5 deep breaths before you know you’ll see your crush, or as you’re walking up to them.
1-5. Plan to walk straight up to your crush immediately when you see them.
When you see your crush, you shouldn’t wait to walk up to them because this will give you more time to get nervous and perhaps change your mind. If you walk up to them and ask them out immediately when you see them, you’ll get it over with quickly instead of getting more anxious.
Take deep breaths and tell yourself, “I can do this, it will be fine” as you walk up to your crush when you see them.
2. Asking Directly
2-1. Smile and be confident.
The most important part of asking out your crush is your attitude. Even if you’re nervous, make eye contact, stand up straight, and smile. Remember that people are attracted to positive, confident people, so keep smiling and telling yourself that you’re awesome and anyone should want to go out with you.
Try practicing in the mirror how you’re going to ask your crush out. This can give you a chance to see how you look and adjust your body language if you think you should.
2-2. Ask, “Do you want to go out with me?”
This is the fastest and most direct way to ask your crush out. They will either say yes, no, or stammer for a minute before responding because they’re taken aback. It’s not a bad thing if they’re taken aback; some people like being surprised and will view your directness as a positive quality.
While you don't have to plan out exactly what you're going to say in advance, do take the time to think about your approach. That way, you can still go with the flow, but you'll feel prepared and confident.
There are slight variations to this question that you can choose from to fit your individual conversation style, including “Do you want to go out sometime?”, “We should go out sometime, don’t you think?”, or “I’d love to go out with you sometime, what do you say?” Pick one according to your preference.
2-3. Compliment them then ask them out to catch their attention.
Think about what makes this person your crush and say it out loud to them. It could be a general compliment, like “I think you’re so cute,” or something more specific like, “I was so impressed with your speech/game/performance the other day.” Right after the compliment, ask if they want to go out with you sometime.
Most people love hearing a compliment, and even if they hadn’t thought about being interested in you before, hearing your compliment and interest in going out will make them at least consider it.
2-4. Get tickets to an event and ask if they want to go to show your confidence.
Choose a movie or concert that you think your crush would like to see and buy 2 tickets. Take the tickets with you next time you see them and tell them you have tickets to the specific movie or concert before asking them to go.
This approach allows your crush to see how confident you are that they’d like to go somewhere with you.
If you already know this person well, there’s a chance they won’t realize your idea is a date. If this the case, point out to them sometime before you go, or during the event, that this is a date.
Even if they say no, you still have tickets for something fun and you can invite a friend instead!
2-5. Pass them a “Do you want to go out?”
This method is popular with students, but you can use it regardless of your age. Write the question “Do you want to go out?” on a piece of paper, then write the options “Yes,” “No,” and “Maybe” below it. You’ll get your answer without necessarily having to talk about it.
Try smiling at your crush as they read your note. This will let them know you’re being fun with how you’re asking them out.
If they say yes, have a couple of date ideas ready to discuss with them.
2-6. Suggest a group date if a one-on-one date sounds too scary.
If you already have plans with your friends this weekend and think your crush may be interested in coming along, ask them to join the group. Say, “Hey a bunch of us are going swimming this weekend, would you like to go?”
This option works really well if the group that’s going includes couples.
2-7. Say, “What a long day.
If your crush is a person you work with or go to school with, use venting about work or school as a way to go out with them. If they are frustrated with work or school too and they like spending time with you there, chances are they’ll say yes.
This is another option where, if you already know each other well, the person may not realize this is a date. Mention to them at some point that you were thinking of this as a date, or toward the end of the date say, “This was fun. Would you like to go out again sometime?”
2-8. Smile and say, “No problem” if they say no.
Even if you feel embarrassed about being rejected, try to play it off as no big deal. Remember that there could be many reasons your crush said no, including they’re already dating someone else, they just got out of a relationship, or they feel they are too busy to date.
Don’t worry too much about being rejected; it happens to people all the time, and you’ll find someone who’s interested in you eventually.
3. Dropping Hints
3-1. Walk up to a stranger, smile, and say “Hi.”
If you’re crushing on someone you don’t know, a great way to express your interest is by simply approaching them. After you say hi, tell them your name and ask them theirs. Continue smiling as you come up with small talk questions, such as “What grade are you in?” or “Do you come here often?”
Most people will understand the signal that a stranger approaching them and starting a conversation means that they’re interested. If they make eye contact with you and smile back, they may be interested in you too. Continue talking with them until you feel it’s a good time to ask them out.
3-2. Give them your number.
This is a way to let someone know you’re interested in them without coming out and saying it. Write your name and number down a piece of paper, fold it, and hand it to them. Then smile and walk away.
If your crush is interested you, they’ll call or text you. If not, and they are someone you don’t see regularly, you won’t have to worry about it again!
3-3. Get a friend to tell them you think they’re cute.
This is another way to give a signal that you’re interested without having to uncomfortably wait for a reaction. It works well whether you already know the person or not.
If your crush is interested in you too, they will probably tell your friend this, or approach you at a later point in time. You can then confidently ask them out.
3-4. Start dancing with them if you’re at a party.
Parties are great places to meet people, and if you spot someone you’re attracted to who’s dancing, walk up to them and start dancing with them. If they’re interested, they’ll keep dancing with you and possibly talk to you. If not, they’ll probably wander away from you shortly.
Be sure to not grab the person or invade their personal space when you do this. Maintain a small distance and make eye contact with them. Don’t stare at other parts of their body, make overtly sexual gestures while dancing, or otherwise make them uncomfortable.
3-5. Ask “Are you single?”
If your crush is someone you’ve seen from afar, you can simply go up to them and ask if they’re already seeing someone. Try “I couldn’t help but noticing you. Are you seeing anyone by chance?”
If they are already with someone, they’ll tell you. If not, and they’re interested in you, they will tell you they’re single and ask about you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Working Up Your Courage\\n1-1. Give yourself a pep talk beforehand.\\nRemember that the more practice you get with asking people out, the better you will get at it. Try to think of this as getting good practice. Look in a mirror at home and give a list of all your good qualities, like “you’re smart, you’re talented, you’re good at music,” etc.\\nRemember that each time you ask a person out, it gets you one step closer to getting a yes from the right person. You will eventually meet someone who’s right for you.\\n1-2. Try not to worry too much about being rejected.\\nGetting rejected happens to everyone at some point. You should try not to think of getting rejected as the same as being a loser, or being someone not worth going out with. There are many reasons people say no to dates, including they are really busy or they are already seeing someone else.\\nIf your crush says no, it’s not an attack on you as a person. They probably just have their own reasons. You will eventually find someone who’s interested in going out with you.\\n1-3. Visualize yourself successfully asking your crush out.\\nAsk a professional athlete what most helps them before a successful game, and most will tell you that they visualize completing good plays, a win, or crossing the finish line first. Visualizing what you want helps it to happen. It also helps your nerves because you see yourself getting what you want instead of what you don’t want.\\n1-4. Take deep breaths right before you ask.\\nA great way to calm your nerves before doing something you’re anxious about is to take deep breaths. Getting more oxygen helps you to physically relax, which helps you to emotionally relax as well. Take 3-5 deep breaths before you know you’ll see your crush, or as you’re walking up to them.\\n1-5. Plan to walk straight up to your crush immediately when you see them.\\nWhen you see your crush, you shouldn’t wait to walk up to them because this will give you more time to get nervous and perhaps change your mind. If you walk up to them and ask them out immediately when you see them, you’ll get it over with quickly instead of getting more anxious.\\nTake deep breaths and tell yourself, “I can do this, it will be fine” as you walk up to your crush when you see them.\\n2. Asking Directly\\n2-1. Smile and be confident.\\nThe most important part of asking out your crush is your attitude. Even if you’re nervous, make eye contact, stand up straight, and smile. Remember that people are attracted to positive, confident people, so keep smiling and telling yourself that you’re awesome and anyone should want to go out with you.\\nTry practicing in the mirror how you’re going to ask your crush out. This can give you a chance to see how you look and adjust your body language if you think you should.\\n2-2. Ask, “Do you want to go out with me?”\\nThis is the fastest and most direct way to ask your crush out. They will either say yes, no, or stammer for a minute before responding because they’re taken aback. It’s not a bad thing if they’re taken aback; some people like being surprised and will view your directness as a positive quality.\\nWhile you don't have to plan out exactly what you're going to say in advance, do take the time to think about your approach. That way, you can still go with the flow, but you'll feel prepared and confident.\\nThere are slight variations to this question that you can choose from to fit your individual conversation style, including “Do you want to go out sometime?”, “We should go out sometime, don’t you think?”, or “I’d love to go out with you sometime, what do you say?” Pick one according to your preference.\\n2-3. Compliment them then ask them out to catch their attention.\\nThink about what makes this person your crush and say it out loud to them. It could be a general compliment, like “I think you’re so cute,” or something more specific like, “I was so impressed with your speech/game/performance the other day.” Right after the compliment, ask if they want to go out with you sometime.\\nMost people love hearing a compliment, and even if they hadn’t thought about being interested in you before, hearing your compliment and interest in going out will make them at least consider it.\\n2-4. Get tickets to an event and ask if they want to go to show your confidence.\\nChoose a movie or concert that you think your crush would like to see and buy 2 tickets. Take the tickets with you next time you see them and tell them you have tickets to the specific movie or concert before asking them to go.\\nThis approach allows your crush to see how confident you are that they’d like to go somewhere with you.\\nIf you already know this person well, there’s a chance they won’t realize your idea is a date. If this the case, point out to them sometime before you go, or during the event, that this is a date.\\nEven if they say no, you still have tickets for something fun and you can invite a friend instead!\\n2-5. Pass them a “Do you want to go out?”\\nThis method is popular with students, but you can use it regardless of your age. Write the question “Do you want to go out?” on a piece of paper, then write the options “Yes,” “No,” and “Maybe” below it. You’ll get your answer without necessarily having to talk about it.\\nTry smiling at your crush as they read your note. This will let them know you’re being fun with how you’re asking them out.\\nIf they say yes, have a couple of date ideas ready to discuss with them.\\n2-6. Suggest a group date if a one-on-one date sounds too scary.\\nIf you already have plans with your friends this weekend and think your crush may be interested in coming along, ask them to join the group. Say, “Hey a bunch of us are going swimming this weekend, would you like to go?”\\nThis option works really well if the group that’s going includes couples.\\n2-7. Say, “What a long day.\\nIf your crush is a person you work with or go to school with, use venting about work or school as a way to go out with them. If they are frustrated with work or school too and they like spending time with you there, chances are they’ll say yes.\\nThis is another option where, if you already know each other well, the person may not realize this is a date. Mention to them at some point that you were thinking of this as a date, or toward the end of the date say, “This was fun. Would you like to go out again sometime?”\\n2-8. Smile and say, “No problem” if they say no.\\nEven if you feel embarrassed about being rejected, try to play it off as no big deal. Remember that there could be many reasons your crush said no, including they’re already dating someone else, they just got out of a relationship, or they feel they are too busy to date.\\nDon’t worry too much about being rejected; it happens to people all the time, and you’ll find someone who’s interested in you eventually.\\n3. Dropping Hints\\n3-1. Walk up to a stranger, smile, and say “Hi.”\\nIf you’re crushing on someone you don’t know, a great way to express your interest is by simply approaching them. After you say hi, tell them your name and ask them theirs. Continue smiling as you come up with small talk questions, such as “What grade are you in?” or “Do you come here often?”\\nMost people will understand the signal that a stranger approaching them and starting a conversation means that they’re interested. If they make eye contact with you and smile back, they may be interested in you too. Continue talking with them until you feel it’s a good time to ask them out.\\n3-2. Give them your number.\\nThis is a way to let someone know you’re interested in them without coming out and saying it. Write your name and number down a piece of paper, fold it, and hand it to them. Then smile and walk away.\\nIf your crush is interested you, they’ll call or text you. If not, and they are someone you don’t see regularly, you won’t have to worry about it again!\\n3-3. Get a friend to tell them you think they’re cute.\\nThis is another way to give a signal that you’re interested without having to uncomfortably wait for a reaction. It works well whether you already know the person or not.\\nIf your crush is interested in you too, they will probably tell your friend this, or approach you at a later point in time. You can then confidently ask them out.\\n3-4. Start dancing with them if you’re at a party.\\nParties are great places to meet people, and if you spot someone you’re attracted to who’s dancing, walk up to them and start dancing with them. If they’re interested, they’ll keep dancing with you and possibly talk to you. If not, they’ll probably wander away from you shortly.\\nBe sure to not grab the person or invade their personal space when you do this. Maintain a small distance and make eye contact with them. Don’t stare at other parts of their body, make overtly sexual gestures while dancing, or otherwise make them uncomfortable.\\n3-5. Ask “Are you single?”\\nIf your crush is someone you’ve seen from afar, you can simply go up to them and ask if they’re already seeing someone. Try “I couldn’t help but noticing you. Are you seeing anyone by chance?” \\nIf they are already with someone, they’ll tell you. If not, and they’re interested in you, they will tell you they’re single and ask about you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking your crush out can seem scary, but it doesn’t have to be! There are many quick ways you can easily and directly ask your crush out. If you’re a little too nervous to ask them out directly, you can drop some hints instead that tell them you’re interested in going out and let you see how they respond; from there you can figure out how you should proceed.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Working Up Your Courage\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a pep talk beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that the more practice you get with asking people out, the better you will get at it. Try to think of this as getting good practice. Look in a mirror at home and give a list of all your good qualities, like “you’re smart, you’re talented, you’re good at music,” etc.\\nRemember that each time you ask a person out, it gets you one step closer to getting a yes from the right person. You will eventually meet someone who’s right for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try not to worry too much about being rejected.\", \"描述\": \"Getting rejected happens to everyone at some point. You should try not to think of getting rejected as the same as being a loser, or being someone not worth going out with. There are many reasons people say no to dates, including they are really busy or they are already seeing someone else.\\nIf your crush says no, it’s not an attack on you as a person. They probably just have their own reasons. You will eventually find someone who’s interested in going out with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Visualize yourself successfully asking your crush out.\", \"描述\": \"Ask a professional athlete what most helps them before a successful game, and most will tell you that they visualize completing good plays, a win, or crossing the finish line first. Visualizing what you want helps it to happen. It also helps your nerves because you see yourself getting what you want instead of what you don’t want.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take deep breaths right before you ask.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to calm your nerves before doing something you’re anxious about is to take deep breaths. Getting more oxygen helps you to physically relax, which helps you to emotionally relax as well. Take 3-5 deep breaths before you know you’ll see your crush, or as you’re walking up to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan to walk straight up to your crush immediately when you see them.\", \"描述\": \"When you see your crush, you shouldn’t wait to walk up to them because this will give you more time to get nervous and perhaps change your mind. If you walk up to them and ask them out immediately when you see them, you’ll get it over with quickly instead of getting more anxious.\\nTake deep breaths and tell yourself, “I can do this, it will be fine” as you walk up to your crush when you see them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Directly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile and be confident.\", \"描述\": \"The most important part of asking out your crush is your attitude. Even if you’re nervous, make eye contact, stand up straight, and smile. Remember that people are attracted to positive, confident people, so keep smiling and telling yourself that you’re awesome and anyone should want to go out with you.\\nTry practicing in the mirror how you’re going to ask your crush out. This can give you a chance to see how you look and adjust your body language if you think you should.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask, “Do you want to go out with me?”\", \"描述\": \"This is the fastest and most direct way to ask your crush out. They will either say yes, no, or stammer for a minute before responding because they’re taken aback. It’s not a bad thing if they’re taken aback; some people like being surprised and will view your directness as a positive quality.\\nWhile you don't have to plan out exactly what you're going to say in advance, do take the time to think about your approach. That way, you can still go with the flow, but you'll feel prepared and confident.\\nThere are slight variations to this question that you can choose from to fit your individual conversation style, including “Do you want to go out sometime?”, “We should go out sometime, don’t you think?”, or “I’d love to go out with you sometime, what do you say?” Pick one according to your preference.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment them then ask them out to catch their attention.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what makes this person your crush and say it out loud to them. It could be a general compliment, like “I think you’re so cute,” or something more specific like, “I was so impressed with your speech/game/performance the other day.” Right after the compliment, ask if they want to go out with you sometime.\\nMost people love hearing a compliment, and even if they hadn’t thought about being interested in you before, hearing your compliment and interest in going out will make them at least consider it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get tickets to an event and ask if they want to go to show your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a movie or concert that you think your crush would like to see and buy 2 tickets. Take the tickets with you next time you see them and tell them you have tickets to the specific movie or concert before asking them to go.\\nThis approach allows your crush to see how confident you are that they’d like to go somewhere with you.\\nIf you already know this person well, there’s a chance they won’t realize your idea is a date. If this the case, point out to them sometime before you go, or during the event, that this is a date.\\nEven if they say no, you still have tickets for something fun and you can invite a friend instead!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pass them a “Do you want to go out?”\", \"描述\": \"This method is popular with students, but you can use it regardless of your age. Write the question “Do you want to go out?” on a piece of paper, then write the options “Yes,” “No,” and “Maybe” below it. You’ll get your answer without necessarily having to talk about it.\\nTry smiling at your crush as they read your note. This will let them know you’re being fun with how you’re asking them out.\\nIf they say yes, have a couple of date ideas ready to discuss with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Suggest a group date if a one-on-one date sounds too scary.\", \"描述\": \"If you already have plans with your friends this weekend and think your crush may be interested in coming along, ask them to join the group. Say, “Hey a bunch of us are going swimming this weekend, would you like to go?”\\nThis option works really well if the group that’s going includes couples.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Say, “What a long day.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush is a person you work with or go to school with, use venting about work or school as a way to go out with them. If they are frustrated with work or school too and they like spending time with you there, chances are they’ll say yes.\\nThis is another option where, if you already know each other well, the person may not realize this is a date. Mention to them at some point that you were thinking of this as a date, or toward the end of the date say, “This was fun. Would you like to go out again sometime?”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Smile and say, “No problem” if they say no.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you feel embarrassed about being rejected, try to play it off as no big deal. Remember that there could be many reasons your crush said no, including they’re already dating someone else, they just got out of a relationship, or they feel they are too busy to date.\\nDon’t worry too much about being rejected; it happens to people all the time, and you’ll find someone who’s interested in you eventually.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dropping Hints\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk up to a stranger, smile, and say “Hi.”\", \"描述\": \"If you’re crushing on someone you don’t know, a great way to express your interest is by simply approaching them. After you say hi, tell them your name and ask them theirs. Continue smiling as you come up with small talk questions, such as “What grade are you in?” or “Do you come here often?”\\nMost people will understand the signal that a stranger approaching them and starting a conversation means that they’re interested. If they make eye contact with you and smile back, they may be interested in you too. Continue talking with them until you feel it’s a good time to ask them out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give them your number.\", \"描述\": \"This is a way to let someone know you’re interested in them without coming out and saying it. Write your name and number down a piece of paper, fold it, and hand it to them. Then smile and walk away.\\nIf your crush is interested you, they’ll call or text you. If not, and they are someone you don’t see regularly, you won’t have to worry about it again!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get a friend to tell them you think they’re cute.\", \"描述\": \"This is another way to give a signal that you’re interested without having to uncomfortably wait for a reaction. It works well whether you already know the person or not.\\nIf your crush is interested in you too, they will probably tell your friend this, or approach you at a later point in time. You can then confidently ask them out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start dancing with them if you’re at a party.\", \"描述\": \"Parties are great places to meet people, and if you spot someone you’re attracted to who’s dancing, walk up to them and start dancing with them. If they’re interested, they’ll keep dancing with you and possibly talk to you. If not, they’ll probably wander away from you shortly.\\nBe sure to not grab the person or invade their personal space when you do this. Maintain a small distance and make eye contact with them. Don’t stare at other parts of their body, make overtly sexual gestures while dancing, or otherwise make them uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask “Are you single?”\", \"描述\": \"If your crush is someone you’ve seen from afar, you can simply go up to them and ask if they’re already seeing someone. Try “I couldn’t help but noticing you. Are you seeing anyone by chance?” \\nIf they are already with someone, they’ll tell you. If not, and they’re interested in you, they will tell you they’re single and ask about you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,500 | How to Ask Your Crush to Be Your Valentine | 1. Making a Card
1-1. Create a handmade card.
You can go all out and make something elaborate, or you can keep it simple – it's up to you! It's what you say in the card that matters. If you aren't very artistic, get a piece of red construction paper, fold it in half and use that as your card. You can also draw, paint, or even make a collage on it. Get creative!
If you know your crush likes a certain animal or activity, you can draw or make a collage based on that.
Your card doesn't have to be handmade, although your crush might find it particularly sweet if it is.
1-2. Write a simple message.
You can write a long note anytime, but if you just want to ask your sweetie to be your valentine, write something simple in your card. For example, you could say “Would you be…” on the front of the card, then write “…my valentine?” on the inside.
You could also write “Just wanted to know…” on the outside and on the inside say, “Will you be my valentine?”
For a little something extra, you could add a compliment like “You look nice today.”
1-3. Sign your card.
If you want your crush to know it's you right away, sign your name on the inside. To be a little more mysterious, sign the card as “Your Secret Admirer” or “Your Hopeful Valentine.”
You don't have to write “Love” or anything serious like that if you don't want to! You could put “xo” which means “hugs and kisses.”
For example, you could write: “Dear Helen, Will you be my Valentine? If yes, please meet me at the park at 4:00. xoxo, Jane.”
1-4. Give the card to your crush.
If you're feeling brave, you can always walk right up to your crush and hand them the card. However, it's pretty normal to feel shy about it, so you don't have to do it that way. You can always leave the note somewhere they'll be sure to find it.
For example, you could put it in their locker, slip it in their backpack when they aren't looking, or put it in one of their text books.
For an extra special touch, you can leave a single flower with the note. Roses are popular, but you don't have to be that traditional.
2. Giving a Gift
2-1. Give your crush candy.
You can sweeten up your crush's day with a box of Valentine's candy, like a heart-shaped box of chocolates. If you're not comfortable asking your crush to be your Valentine in person, you can tuck a short note in the box or packaging for them to read later.
For something a little more creative, use candy "conversation" hearts to write your note.
Make sure that your crush isn't allergic to the candy. For example, they're allergic to peanuts or milk, avoid anything that contains nuts or chocolate.
If you really want to make an impression, then choose a candy that your crush likes—even if it's not directly related to Valentine's day.
2-2. Make your crush a mix CD or special Spotify playlist.
Instead of sending your crush a traditional card, burn them a CD of sweet songs that make you think of them. If CDs aren't really your thing, curate a Spotify playlist for them instead! Include the track list and make special art for it. If you're not comfortable explaining your gift in person, include a note (with the CD) or send them a message (with a link to your playlist) and ask them to be your Valentine.
If you are musically gifted, you could write and record a song for them, and include that as the last track.
You could also use a voice recording app to record yourself asking them to be your valentine, and put that in the playlist.
2-3. Bake them cookies.
Your crush will appreciate that you took the time to make them something, and if you're low on cash, this might be a good solution! If you know their favorite kind of cookie, get a recipe for it and make those. If you don't, you usually can't go wrong with chocolate chip or sugar cookies. You could even make them heart-shaped!
Add a note with the cookies asking them to be your Valentine.
You could also use icing to write it out on the cookies.
Double-check your crush's food allergies. You don't want to give them something that they can't enjoy, after all!
2-4. Bring them a stuffed animal.
If you know your crush loves cats or monkeys, take advantage of that! Most stores will have a whole aisle dedicated to Valentine's Day gifts, and there are usually plenty of plushies to choose from. What you choose doesn't necessarily have to be an animal. There are plush versions of everything!
For example, if your crush plays basketball, look for a plush basketball.
To get the conversation started, hand them the plush toy and smile. Say something simple like, “I saw this and it made me think of you.”
3. Asking in Person
3-1. Wait for a good opportunity.
Try not to corner your crush or force them to talk with you if they are in a hurry or busy doing something. Wait for a good time to talk to them about it. Since they're your crush, you probably know when they have a little free time during the day.
For example, if your crush is chatting with a big group of friends or working on their homework, that's probably not a good time.
3-2. Pull your crush aside.
It will be a lot easier to talk to them in private, plus your crush might get embarrassed if you ask in front of everyone! Meet them at their locker in the morning before class, or walk with them to one of their classes. Before or after lunch might also be a good time. Start up a normal chat, and then bring it up.
If you two share an inside joke or particular interest, start off the conversation with that.
3-3. Go for it.
Valentine's Day is all about sharing how you feel. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Just go for it. You don't even have to make any grand gestures; you can keep it simple!
You could open with: “So I was wondering…” and then phrase it however you want.
You could also start off with “So today is Valentine's day…” and give them a big smile.
3-4. Send a text or instant message.
If you're too shy to ask in person, this is the next best thing. Keep your message short and sweet. If you want to, you could even add an emoji like a smiley face or heart after your message to keep everything feeling lighthearted.
If you're friends on Facebook or Instagram, you could also send them a private message there.
For example, you could write “I really like you. Would you be my valentine?”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making a Card\\n1-1. Create a handmade card.\\nYou can go all out and make something elaborate, or you can keep it simple – it's up to you! It's what you say in the card that matters. If you aren't very artistic, get a piece of red construction paper, fold it in half and use that as your card. You can also draw, paint, or even make a collage on it. Get creative!\\nIf you know your crush likes a certain animal or activity, you can draw or make a collage based on that.\\nYour card doesn't have to be handmade, although your crush might find it particularly sweet if it is.\\n1-2. Write a simple message.\\nYou can write a long note anytime, but if you just want to ask your sweetie to be your valentine, write something simple in your card. For example, you could say “Would you be…” on the front of the card, then write “…my valentine?” on the inside.\\nYou could also write “Just wanted to know…” on the outside and on the inside say, “Will you be my valentine?”\\nFor a little something extra, you could add a compliment like “You look nice today.”\\n1-3. Sign your card.\\nIf you want your crush to know it's you right away, sign your name on the inside. To be a little more mysterious, sign the card as “Your Secret Admirer” or “Your Hopeful Valentine.”\\nYou don't have to write “Love” or anything serious like that if you don't want to! You could put “xo” which means “hugs and kisses.”\\nFor example, you could write: “Dear Helen, Will you be my Valentine? If yes, please meet me at the park at 4:00. xoxo, Jane.”\\n1-4. Give the card to your crush.\\nIf you're feeling brave, you can always walk right up to your crush and hand them the card. However, it's pretty normal to feel shy about it, so you don't have to do it that way. You can always leave the note somewhere they'll be sure to find it.\\nFor example, you could put it in their locker, slip it in their backpack when they aren't looking, or put it in one of their text books.\\nFor an extra special touch, you can leave a single flower with the note. Roses are popular, but you don't have to be that traditional.\\n2. Giving a Gift\\n2-1. Give your crush candy.\\nYou can sweeten up your crush's day with a box of Valentine's candy, like a heart-shaped box of chocolates. If you're not comfortable asking your crush to be your Valentine in person, you can tuck a short note in the box or packaging for them to read later.\\nFor something a little more creative, use candy \\\"conversation\\\" hearts to write your note.\\nMake sure that your crush isn't allergic to the candy. For example, they're allergic to peanuts or milk, avoid anything that contains nuts or chocolate.\\nIf you really want to make an impression, then choose a candy that your crush likes—even if it's not directly related to Valentine's day.\\n2-2. Make your crush a mix CD or special Spotify playlist.\\nInstead of sending your crush a traditional card, burn them a CD of sweet songs that make you think of them. If CDs aren't really your thing, curate a Spotify playlist for them instead! Include the track list and make special art for it. If you're not comfortable explaining your gift in person, include a note (with the CD) or send them a message (with a link to your playlist) and ask them to be your Valentine.\\nIf you are musically gifted, you could write and record a song for them, and include that as the last track.\\nYou could also use a voice recording app to record yourself asking them to be your valentine, and put that in the playlist.\\n2-3. Bake them cookies.\\nYour crush will appreciate that you took the time to make them something, and if you're low on cash, this might be a good solution! If you know their favorite kind of cookie, get a recipe for it and make those. If you don't, you usually can't go wrong with chocolate chip or sugar cookies. You could even make them heart-shaped!\\nAdd a note with the cookies asking them to be your Valentine.\\nYou could also use icing to write it out on the cookies.\\nDouble-check your crush's food allergies. You don't want to give them something that they can't enjoy, after all!\\n2-4. Bring them a stuffed animal.\\nIf you know your crush loves cats or monkeys, take advantage of that! Most stores will have a whole aisle dedicated to Valentine's Day gifts, and there are usually plenty of plushies to choose from. What you choose doesn't necessarily have to be an animal. There are plush versions of everything!\\nFor example, if your crush plays basketball, look for a plush basketball.\\nTo get the conversation started, hand them the plush toy and smile. Say something simple like, “I saw this and it made me think of you.”\\n3. Asking in Person\\n3-1. Wait for a good opportunity.\\nTry not to corner your crush or force them to talk with you if they are in a hurry or busy doing something. Wait for a good time to talk to them about it. Since they're your crush, you probably know when they have a little free time during the day.\\nFor example, if your crush is chatting with a big group of friends or working on their homework, that's probably not a good time.\\n3-2. Pull your crush aside.\\nIt will be a lot easier to talk to them in private, plus your crush might get embarrassed if you ask in front of everyone! Meet them at their locker in the morning before class, or walk with them to one of their classes. Before or after lunch might also be a good time. Start up a normal chat, and then bring it up.\\nIf you two share an inside joke or particular interest, start off the conversation with that.\\n3-3. Go for it.\\nValentine's Day is all about sharing how you feel. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Just go for it. You don't even have to make any grand gestures; you can keep it simple!\\nYou could open with: “So I was wondering…” and then phrase it however you want.\\nYou could also start off with “So today is Valentine's day…” and give them a big smile.\\n3-4. Send a text or instant message.\\nIf you're too shy to ask in person, this is the next best thing. Keep your message short and sweet. If you want to, you could even add an emoji like a smiley face or heart after your message to keep everything feeling lighthearted.\\nIf you're friends on Facebook or Instagram, you could also send them a private message there.\\nFor example, you could write “I really like you. Would you be my valentine?”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you've been crushing on someone hard and Valentine's Day is coming up, this might be the perfect opportunity to let them know how you feel. Ask them to be your valentine! You can make a card, leave a note, bake heart-shaped cookies or just come right out and say it—there are lots of different ways! Go with whatever feels natural to you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making a Card\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a handmade card.\", \"描述\": \"You can go all out and make something elaborate, or you can keep it simple – it's up to you! It's what you say in the card that matters. If you aren't very artistic, get a piece of red construction paper, fold it in half and use that as your card. You can also draw, paint, or even make a collage on it. Get creative!\\nIf you know your crush likes a certain animal or activity, you can draw or make a collage based on that.\\nYour card doesn't have to be handmade, although your crush might find it particularly sweet if it is.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a simple message.\", \"描述\": \"You can write a long note anytime, but if you just want to ask your sweetie to be your valentine, write something simple in your card. For example, you could say “Would you be…” on the front of the card, then write “…my valentine?” on the inside.\\nYou could also write “Just wanted to know…” on the outside and on the inside say, “Will you be my valentine?”\\nFor a little something extra, you could add a compliment like “You look nice today.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sign your card.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your crush to know it's you right away, sign your name on the inside. To be a little more mysterious, sign the card as “Your Secret Admirer” or “Your Hopeful Valentine.”\\nYou don't have to write “Love” or anything serious like that if you don't want to! You could put “xo” which means “hugs and kisses.”\\nFor example, you could write: “Dear Helen, Will you be my Valentine? If yes, please meet me at the park at 4:00. xoxo, Jane.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give the card to your crush.\", \"描述\": \"If you're feeling brave, you can always walk right up to your crush and hand them the card. However, it's pretty normal to feel shy about it, so you don't have to do it that way. You can always leave the note somewhere they'll be sure to find it.\\nFor example, you could put it in their locker, slip it in their backpack when they aren't looking, or put it in one of their text books.\\nFor an extra special touch, you can leave a single flower with the note. Roses are popular, but you don't have to be that traditional.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Giving a Gift\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your crush candy.\", \"描述\": \"You can sweeten up your crush's day with a box of Valentine's candy, like a heart-shaped box of chocolates. If you're not comfortable asking your crush to be your Valentine in person, you can tuck a short note in the box or packaging for them to read later.\\nFor something a little more creative, use candy \\\"conversation\\\" hearts to write your note.\\nMake sure that your crush isn't allergic to the candy. For example, they're allergic to peanuts or milk, avoid anything that contains nuts or chocolate.\\nIf you really want to make an impression, then choose a candy that your crush likes—even if it's not directly related to Valentine's day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make your crush a mix CD or special Spotify playlist.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of sending your crush a traditional card, burn them a CD of sweet songs that make you think of them. If CDs aren't really your thing, curate a Spotify playlist for them instead! Include the track list and make special art for it. If you're not comfortable explaining your gift in person, include a note (with the CD) or send them a message (with a link to your playlist) and ask them to be your Valentine.\\nIf you are musically gifted, you could write and record a song for them, and include that as the last track.\\nYou could also use a voice recording app to record yourself asking them to be your valentine, and put that in the playlist.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bake them cookies.\", \"描述\": \"Your crush will appreciate that you took the time to make them something, and if you're low on cash, this might be a good solution! If you know their favorite kind of cookie, get a recipe for it and make those. If you don't, you usually can't go wrong with chocolate chip or sugar cookies. You could even make them heart-shaped!\\nAdd a note with the cookies asking them to be your Valentine.\\nYou could also use icing to write it out on the cookies.\\nDouble-check your crush's food allergies. You don't want to give them something that they can't enjoy, after all!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring them a stuffed animal.\", \"描述\": \"If you know your crush loves cats or monkeys, take advantage of that! Most stores will have a whole aisle dedicated to Valentine's Day gifts, and there are usually plenty of plushies to choose from. What you choose doesn't necessarily have to be an animal. There are plush versions of everything!\\nFor example, if your crush plays basketball, look for a plush basketball.\\nTo get the conversation started, hand them the plush toy and smile. Say something simple like, “I saw this and it made me think of you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking in Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait for a good opportunity.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to corner your crush or force them to talk with you if they are in a hurry or busy doing something. Wait for a good time to talk to them about it. Since they're your crush, you probably know when they have a little free time during the day.\\nFor example, if your crush is chatting with a big group of friends or working on their homework, that's probably not a good time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pull your crush aside.\", \"描述\": \"It will be a lot easier to talk to them in private, plus your crush might get embarrassed if you ask in front of everyone! Meet them at their locker in the morning before class, or walk with them to one of their classes. Before or after lunch might also be a good time. Start up a normal chat, and then bring it up.\\nIf you two share an inside joke or particular interest, start off the conversation with that.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go for it.\", \"描述\": \"Valentine's Day is all about sharing how you feel. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Just go for it. You don't even have to make any grand gestures; you can keep it simple!\\nYou could open with: “So I was wondering…” and then phrase it however you want.\\nYou could also start off with “So today is Valentine's day…” and give them a big smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Send a text or instant message.\", \"描述\": \"If you're too shy to ask in person, this is the next best thing. Keep your message short and sweet. If you want to, you could even add an emoji like a smiley face or heart after your message to keep everything feeling lighthearted.\\nIf you're friends on Facebook or Instagram, you could also send them a private message there.\\nFor example, you could write “I really like you. Would you be my valentine?”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,501 | How to Ask Your Doctor for Disability | 1. Medical Appointment Prep
1-1. Start the process before you submit a disability claim.
The most common reason that claims are denied is because there is not enough proof of a disability. Wait until you have spoken to your doctor to submit your claim. This will ensure that the doctor is willing and able to provide support.
If you have applied for Social Security benefits and were denied, you can appeal. In this case, you will have to go before a judge. Get the doctor’s letter of support before you go to the judge or you may lose the appeal.
1-2. Choose the right doctor as your preferred advocate.
If you have multiple doctors, the doctor that sees you most frequently is often the best person to ask. They will know the most about you and your condition. If you only have one doctor or if your condition is not currently being treated, your primary care physician will be your best bet.
You must have an M.D., D.O., or Ph.D. fill out the form or letter for you. You cannot ask a nurse or physician’s assistant.
If you have a mental condition, such as anxiety or depression, you should go to your psychiatrist if you have one.
The best doctor to ask is one with whom you have a long relationship. If you ask a new doctor, they may not know enough about you or your condition to write an accurate letter.
1-3. Write down as much detail about your condition as possible.
Use specific examples from your life to show the daily impact of your disability. You can give this written statement to your doctor. In general, your doctor will need to know:
When the condition started. For example, write down when you first experienced symptoms or identify how many years you have struggled with it.
How the condition affects your life. For example, if you have severe depression, you may not leave your house for long periods of time.
How the condition impacts your ability to work. For example, if you have a back injury, you may no longer be able to work your job in a warehouse.
How the condition affects your ability to stand, sit, walk, or remember. For example, if you have arthritis, you may not be able to bend or stoop.
1-4. State that you want to discuss disability when you make the appointment.
The discussion will go more smoothly if the doctor is expecting it. Informing your doctor ahead of time will help them prepare for the discussion by studying your medical records.
When you call, you can say, “I am filing for disability benefits, and I would like to talk to Dr. Stevens about supporting my application.”
Don’t try to squeeze the discussion in during a medical visit. Your doctor may not have time to both treat your condition and talk about your disability claims.
While some doctors may offer walk-ins, it is best to make an appointment for this type of visit. This will ensure that the doctor has enough time to fully talk about the issue with you.
2. Requesting Medical Support
2-1. Bring the proper forms with you.
In some cases, the doctor may be asked to write a letter that answers certain questions about your disability. In other cases, the doctor might have to fill out a form. In both situations, you should bring the document with the questions or requirements when you go to the appointment.
If you are filing for disability benefits with the Social Security Administration (SSA), bring a residual functional capacity (RFC) form. There are separate forms for physical and mental conditions. You can find these online or at a Social Security Center.
If you are filing for disability benefits from a state, contact either your state’s Department of Health or Department of Labor for more information.
If you are asking for disability for extra assistance or an excused leave in school or university, ask the administration for the proper forms.
If you need the disability forms for work, human resources (HR) should be able to help you. If you work for a small business, ask your boss.
2-2. Explain why you want to go on disability.
State how your condition prevents you from working and how your disability claim could help. Use specific examples from your life to help illustrate the struggles.
Describe in detail how the condition affects your life. You might say, "Because of my medications, I can no longer drive. Unless I can get a ride, I am stuck in my house."
Emphasize how this claim could help you recover. You might say, “I think I need some time to focus on my recovery so that I can eventually become healthy.”
If you are filing for benefits, explain how they will help you pay for treatment. You might say, “It’s very hard for me to afford my treatments right now. If I could get benefits, I would be able to get the care that I need.”
2-3. Answer your doctor’s questions honestly.
In some cases, differences between what your doctor says and what your medical records state can cause you to lose your disability claim. If your doctor asks you questions about your condition, it is in your best interest to be as honest as possible.
For example, if your doctor asks how long your condition has lasted, don’t add months or years to make it sound more severe. Instead, give them an honest answer. If you can’t remember, tell them. They can consult your records.
2-4. Handle rejection gracefully.
Some doctors may be reluctant to offer assistance when filing for disability. If your doctor disagrees, you can try to calmly explain your position again. Try to avoid crying, shouting, or fighting with your doctor.
Thank the doctor for their time if they refuse. You can say, “I’m disappointed, but I understand. Thank you anyways.”
If your doctor does not offer support, you might try to go to another doctor who has treated you but who is not your primary care physician.
2-5. Avoid shopping around for doctors.
Asking too many doctors for support could affect your claim. If you must see a new doctor, bring all of your medical records with you so that they can make an accurate judgment about your condition.
3. Getting a Letter of Support
3-1. Give your doctor a copy of your written limitations.
Your written list can assist the doctor while they complete the letter or form. If you run out of time in your appointment, your doctor can read the list for more information.
Insist that the doctor takes the letter. You might say, “This copy is for you. I have this information.”
3-2. Ask the doctor to provide as much evidence as possible.
If the doctor does not provide any evidence of your condition, your claim may be rejected. X-rays, test results, medication history, or even dates of surgery can help prove that you have a long-standing condition. The doctor should also explain how your condition affects your ability to work.
You can tell your doctor what type of evidence you need. You might say, “To support my claim, they need as much information about my condition as possible. You should probably include the results of my bloodwork.”
Your doctor should include any tests that have been done, what procedures or therapies you have gone through, what medications you have taken to manage your condition, and how long the condition is expected to last.
3-3. Submit a request for your medical records if needed.
If you are filing for SSA or state benefits, you do not need to request your medical records, as the government will request them for you. Other applications may ask you to attach your records in addition to the doctor’s letter. In these cases, ask your doctor for a copy of your records. The doctor may ask you to fill out a medical release form.
3-4. Remind the doctor periodically until you receive the letter.
In many cases, the doctor will not fill out the form or letter during your visit, as there is not enough time. Call back after a week to see if the form is completed. If it is not, gently remind the office that you would like the form back soon.
You might say, “Hi, I am checking to see if Dr. Wolf has filled out my disability form. If not, is it possible to get it in the next week?”
3-5. Attach the letter to your application.
Depending on where you are applying for disability, the process may be slightly different. Read over the instructions on your application to learn if you need to attach the letter, mail the letter, or upload the letter online.
If you are filing for SSA benefits, you will need to upload the letter to your online application or bring it with you to your appointment at a Social Security office.
If you are submitting these documents for absence from work, give the documents directly to HR or your boss.
If you need these documents for an excused absence or assistance at school, you may need to give them to the administration, nurse, or university accessibility services.
Tips
If you live outside of the US, the process for asking your doctor may vary. For more information, call the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) in the UK, the Department of Human Services in Australia, or your local Service Canada office in Canada.
A disability attorney may be willing to explain the process more clearly to a doctor on your behalf.
If you cannot find a doctor’s support, try submitting your application anyways with copies of your medical records.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Medical Appointment Prep\\n1-1. Start the process before you submit a disability claim.\\nThe most common reason that claims are denied is because there is not enough proof of a disability. Wait until you have spoken to your doctor to submit your claim. This will ensure that the doctor is willing and able to provide support.\\nIf you have applied for Social Security benefits and were denied, you can appeal. In this case, you will have to go before a judge. Get the doctor’s letter of support before you go to the judge or you may lose the appeal.\\n1-2. Choose the right doctor as your preferred advocate.\\nIf you have multiple doctors, the doctor that sees you most frequently is often the best person to ask. They will know the most about you and your condition. If you only have one doctor or if your condition is not currently being treated, your primary care physician will be your best bet.\\nYou must have an M.D., D.O., or Ph.D. fill out the form or letter for you. You cannot ask a nurse or physician’s assistant.\\nIf you have a mental condition, such as anxiety or depression, you should go to your psychiatrist if you have one.\\nThe best doctor to ask is one with whom you have a long relationship. If you ask a new doctor, they may not know enough about you or your condition to write an accurate letter.\\n1-3. Write down as much detail about your condition as possible.\\nUse specific examples from your life to show the daily impact of your disability. You can give this written statement to your doctor. In general, your doctor will need to know:\\nWhen the condition started. For example, write down when you first experienced symptoms or identify how many years you have struggled with it.\\nHow the condition affects your life. For example, if you have severe depression, you may not leave your house for long periods of time.\\nHow the condition impacts your ability to work. For example, if you have a back injury, you may no longer be able to work your job in a warehouse.\\nHow the condition affects your ability to stand, sit, walk, or remember. For example, if you have arthritis, you may not be able to bend or stoop.\\n1-4. State that you want to discuss disability when you make the appointment.\\nThe discussion will go more smoothly if the doctor is expecting it. Informing your doctor ahead of time will help them prepare for the discussion by studying your medical records.\\nWhen you call, you can say, “I am filing for disability benefits, and I would like to talk to Dr. Stevens about supporting my application.”\\nDon’t try to squeeze the discussion in during a medical visit. Your doctor may not have time to both treat your condition and talk about your disability claims.\\nWhile some doctors may offer walk-ins, it is best to make an appointment for this type of visit. This will ensure that the doctor has enough time to fully talk about the issue with you.\\n2. Requesting Medical Support\\n2-1. Bring the proper forms with you.\\nIn some cases, the doctor may be asked to write a letter that answers certain questions about your disability. In other cases, the doctor might have to fill out a form. In both situations, you should bring the document with the questions or requirements when you go to the appointment.\\nIf you are filing for disability benefits with the Social Security Administration (SSA), bring a residual functional capacity (RFC) form. There are separate forms for physical and mental conditions. You can find these online or at a Social Security Center.\\nIf you are filing for disability benefits from a state, contact either your state’s Department of Health or Department of Labor for more information.\\nIf you are asking for disability for extra assistance or an excused leave in school or university, ask the administration for the proper forms.\\nIf you need the disability forms for work, human resources (HR) should be able to help you. If you work for a small business, ask your boss.\\n2-2. Explain why you want to go on disability.\\nState how your condition prevents you from working and how your disability claim could help. Use specific examples from your life to help illustrate the struggles.\\nDescribe in detail how the condition affects your life. You might say, \\\"Because of my medications, I can no longer drive. Unless I can get a ride, I am stuck in my house.\\\"\\nEmphasize how this claim could help you recover. You might say, “I think I need some time to focus on my recovery so that I can eventually become healthy.”\\nIf you are filing for benefits, explain how they will help you pay for treatment. You might say, “It’s very hard for me to afford my treatments right now. If I could get benefits, I would be able to get the care that I need.”\\n2-3. Answer your doctor’s questions honestly.\\nIn some cases, differences between what your doctor says and what your medical records state can cause you to lose your disability claim. If your doctor asks you questions about your condition, it is in your best interest to be as honest as possible.\\nFor example, if your doctor asks how long your condition has lasted, don’t add months or years to make it sound more severe. Instead, give them an honest answer. If you can’t remember, tell them. They can consult your records.\\n2-4. Handle rejection gracefully.\\nSome doctors may be reluctant to offer assistance when filing for disability. If your doctor disagrees, you can try to calmly explain your position again. Try to avoid crying, shouting, or fighting with your doctor.\\nThank the doctor for their time if they refuse. You can say, “I’m disappointed, but I understand. Thank you anyways.”\\nIf your doctor does not offer support, you might try to go to another doctor who has treated you but who is not your primary care physician.\\n2-5. Avoid shopping around for doctors.\\nAsking too many doctors for support could affect your claim. If you must see a new doctor, bring all of your medical records with you so that they can make an accurate judgment about your condition.\\n3. Getting a Letter of Support\\n3-1. Give your doctor a copy of your written limitations.\\nYour written list can assist the doctor while they complete the letter or form. If you run out of time in your appointment, your doctor can read the list for more information.\\nInsist that the doctor takes the letter. You might say, “This copy is for you. I have this information.”\\n3-2. Ask the doctor to provide as much evidence as possible.\\nIf the doctor does not provide any evidence of your condition, your claim may be rejected. X-rays, test results, medication history, or even dates of surgery can help prove that you have a long-standing condition. The doctor should also explain how your condition affects your ability to work.\\nYou can tell your doctor what type of evidence you need. You might say, “To support my claim, they need as much information about my condition as possible. You should probably include the results of my bloodwork.”\\nYour doctor should include any tests that have been done, what procedures or therapies you have gone through, what medications you have taken to manage your condition, and how long the condition is expected to last.\\n3-3. Submit a request for your medical records if needed.\\nIf you are filing for SSA or state benefits, you do not need to request your medical records, as the government will request them for you. Other applications may ask you to attach your records in addition to the doctor’s letter. In these cases, ask your doctor for a copy of your records. The doctor may ask you to fill out a medical release form.\\n3-4. Remind the doctor periodically until you receive the letter.\\nIn many cases, the doctor will not fill out the form or letter during your visit, as there is not enough time. Call back after a week to see if the form is completed. If it is not, gently remind the office that you would like the form back soon.\\nYou might say, “Hi, I am checking to see if Dr. Wolf has filled out my disability form. If not, is it possible to get it in the next week?”\\n3-5. Attach the letter to your application.\\nDepending on where you are applying for disability, the process may be slightly different. Read over the instructions on your application to learn if you need to attach the letter, mail the letter, or upload the letter online.\\nIf you are filing for SSA benefits, you will need to upload the letter to your online application or bring it with you to your appointment at a Social Security office.\\nIf you are submitting these documents for absence from work, give the documents directly to HR or your boss.\\nIf you need these documents for an excused absence or assistance at school, you may need to give them to the administration, nurse, or university accessibility services.\\nTips\\nIf you live outside of the US, the process for asking your doctor may vary. For more information, call the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) in the UK, the Department of Human Services in Australia, or your local Service Canada office in Canada.\\nA disability attorney may be willing to explain the process more clearly to a doctor on your behalf.\\nIf you cannot find a doctor’s support, try submitting your application anyways with copies of your medical records.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The process of filing for disability benefits or accommodation can be long and frustrating. A doctor’s support, however, can go a long way in getting you the help you need. Whether you want Social Security benefits or an excused leave from work, you should make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible. Take time to explain why you need their help. If you need a letter or form, make sure that the doctor provides strong evidence of your condition and its impact on your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Medical Appointment Prep\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start the process before you submit a disability claim.\", \"描述\": \"The most common reason that claims are denied is because there is not enough proof of a disability. Wait until you have spoken to your doctor to submit your claim. This will ensure that the doctor is willing and able to provide support.\\nIf you have applied for Social Security benefits and were denied, you can appeal. In this case, you will have to go before a judge. Get the doctor’s letter of support before you go to the judge or you may lose the appeal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose the right doctor as your preferred advocate.\", \"描述\": \"If you have multiple doctors, the doctor that sees you most frequently is often the best person to ask. They will know the most about you and your condition. If you only have one doctor or if your condition is not currently being treated, your primary care physician will be your best bet.\\nYou must have an M.D., D.O., or Ph.D. fill out the form or letter for you. You cannot ask a nurse or physician’s assistant.\\nIf you have a mental condition, such as anxiety or depression, you should go to your psychiatrist if you have one.\\nThe best doctor to ask is one with whom you have a long relationship. If you ask a new doctor, they may not know enough about you or your condition to write an accurate letter.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write down as much detail about your condition as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Use specific examples from your life to show the daily impact of your disability. You can give this written statement to your doctor. In general, your doctor will need to know:\\nWhen the condition started. For example, write down when you first experienced symptoms or identify how many years you have struggled with it.\\nHow the condition affects your life. For example, if you have severe depression, you may not leave your house for long periods of time.\\nHow the condition impacts your ability to work. For example, if you have a back injury, you may no longer be able to work your job in a warehouse.\\nHow the condition affects your ability to stand, sit, walk, or remember. For example, if you have arthritis, you may not be able to bend or stoop.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"State that you want to discuss disability when you make the appointment.\", \"描述\": \"The discussion will go more smoothly if the doctor is expecting it. Informing your doctor ahead of time will help them prepare for the discussion by studying your medical records.\\nWhen you call, you can say, “I am filing for disability benefits, and I would like to talk to Dr. Stevens about supporting my application.”\\nDon’t try to squeeze the discussion in during a medical visit. Your doctor may not have time to both treat your condition and talk about your disability claims.\\nWhile some doctors may offer walk-ins, it is best to make an appointment for this type of visit. This will ensure that the doctor has enough time to fully talk about the issue with you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Requesting Medical Support\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring the proper forms with you.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, the doctor may be asked to write a letter that answers certain questions about your disability. In other cases, the doctor might have to fill out a form. In both situations, you should bring the document with the questions or requirements when you go to the appointment.\\nIf you are filing for disability benefits with the Social Security Administration (SSA), bring a residual functional capacity (RFC) form. There are separate forms for physical and mental conditions. You can find these online or at a Social Security Center.\\nIf you are filing for disability benefits from a state, contact either your state’s Department of Health or Department of Labor for more information.\\nIf you are asking for disability for extra assistance or an excused leave in school or university, ask the administration for the proper forms.\\nIf you need the disability forms for work, human resources (HR) should be able to help you. If you work for a small business, ask your boss.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain why you want to go on disability.\", \"描述\": \"State how your condition prevents you from working and how your disability claim could help. Use specific examples from your life to help illustrate the struggles.\\nDescribe in detail how the condition affects your life. You might say, \\\"Because of my medications, I can no longer drive. Unless I can get a ride, I am stuck in my house.\\\"\\nEmphasize how this claim could help you recover. You might say, “I think I need some time to focus on my recovery so that I can eventually become healthy.”\\nIf you are filing for benefits, explain how they will help you pay for treatment. You might say, “It’s very hard for me to afford my treatments right now. If I could get benefits, I would be able to get the care that I need.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Answer your doctor’s questions honestly.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, differences between what your doctor says and what your medical records state can cause you to lose your disability claim. If your doctor asks you questions about your condition, it is in your best interest to be as honest as possible.\\nFor example, if your doctor asks how long your condition has lasted, don’t add months or years to make it sound more severe. Instead, give them an honest answer. If you can’t remember, tell them. They can consult your records.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Handle rejection gracefully.\", \"描述\": \"Some doctors may be reluctant to offer assistance when filing for disability. If your doctor disagrees, you can try to calmly explain your position again. Try to avoid crying, shouting, or fighting with your doctor.\\nThank the doctor for their time if they refuse. You can say, “I’m disappointed, but I understand. Thank you anyways.”\\nIf your doctor does not offer support, you might try to go to another doctor who has treated you but who is not your primary care physician.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid shopping around for doctors.\", \"描述\": \"Asking too many doctors for support could affect your claim. If you must see a new doctor, bring all of your medical records with you so that they can make an accurate judgment about your condition.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting a Letter of Support\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your doctor a copy of your written limitations.\", \"描述\": \"Your written list can assist the doctor while they complete the letter or form. If you run out of time in your appointment, your doctor can read the list for more information.\\nInsist that the doctor takes the letter. You might say, “This copy is for you. I have this information.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask the doctor to provide as much evidence as possible.\", \"描述\": \"If the doctor does not provide any evidence of your condition, your claim may be rejected. X-rays, test results, medication history, or even dates of surgery can help prove that you have a long-standing condition. The doctor should also explain how your condition affects your ability to work.\\nYou can tell your doctor what type of evidence you need. You might say, “To support my claim, they need as much information about my condition as possible. You should probably include the results of my bloodwork.”\\nYour doctor should include any tests that have been done, what procedures or therapies you have gone through, what medications you have taken to manage your condition, and how long the condition is expected to last.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Submit a request for your medical records if needed.\", \"描述\": \"If you are filing for SSA or state benefits, you do not need to request your medical records, as the government will request them for you. Other applications may ask you to attach your records in addition to the doctor’s letter. In these cases, ask your doctor for a copy of your records. The doctor may ask you to fill out a medical release form.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remind the doctor periodically until you receive the letter.\", \"描述\": \"In many cases, the doctor will not fill out the form or letter during your visit, as there is not enough time. Call back after a week to see if the form is completed. If it is not, gently remind the office that you would like the form back soon.\\nYou might say, “Hi, I am checking to see if Dr. Wolf has filled out my disability form. If not, is it possible to get it in the next week?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Attach the letter to your application.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on where you are applying for disability, the process may be slightly different. Read over the instructions on your application to learn if you need to attach the letter, mail the letter, or upload the letter online.\\nIf you are filing for SSA benefits, you will need to upload the letter to your online application or bring it with you to your appointment at a Social Security office.\\nIf you are submitting these documents for absence from work, give the documents directly to HR or your boss.\\nIf you need these documents for an excused absence or assistance at school, you may need to give them to the administration, nurse, or university accessibility services.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you live outside of the US, the process for asking your doctor may vary. For more information, call the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) in the UK, the Department of Human Services in Australia, or your local Service Canada office in Canada.\\n\", \"A disability attorney may be willing to explain the process more clearly to a doctor on your behalf.\\n\", \"If you cannot find a doctor’s support, try submitting your application anyways with copies of your medical records.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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2,502 | How to Ask Your Doctor for Pain Medication | 1. Meeting with Your Doctor
1-1. Schedule an appointment.
If you are experiencing pain and cannot control it with over-the-counter medications, set up an appointment with your doctor at your earliest convenience. You’ll need to make the appointment by calling the doctor’s office main phone number and speaking with the receptionist.
If you’re suffering from extreme or debilitating pain, or if your doctor’s office is not currently open, you may need to have a friend or family member take you to an emergency room or urgent care facility.
1-2. Tell the doctor if you’re currently taking any over-the-counter or prescription pain meds.
Your doctor will request this information if you ask for pain medication, even if you’re only requesting an extension of an existing prescription. Make sure you tell your doctor if you take any over-the-counter medication such as Tylenol or Ibuprofen, and whether or not these provide any relief. Mixing drugs can have harmful side effects, so it’s important to be thorough when relating which—if any—meds you currently take.
1-3. Describe other activities done to relieve pain.
When you’re asking your doctor for a pain medication, they may want to know if you have tried any non-medical means of alleviating pain, and if those methods have produced successful results. If you’ve tried acupuncture, massages, yoga or Pilates, or any other non-medical pain-relief techniques, let your doctor know.
Be aware that doctors will be less likely to prescribe a pain medication if the problem can be alleviated through other, non-medical means.
2. Describing the Pain
2-1. Describe the location of the pain as specifically as possible.
Your doctor will not be able to diagnose your pain, understand the root of the symptoms, or prescribe an effective pain medication if your descriptions are vague. Tell your doctor exactly where on your body you experience the pain, and if the pain travels or moves from one location to another, be precise about that as well. For example:
Rather than saying, “My back hurts,” say something like, “I feel pain between my shoulder blades, and sometimes a stabbing feeling shoots up my neck.”
“My pain is all in my legs, but during the course of the day it moves from a sharp pain in my ankles to a more throbbing pain in my knees and hips.”
2-2. Use precise language to convey how your pain feels.
“Pain” itself is a fairly broad term; it can cover a tremendous variety of symptoms, from mild discomfort to tremendous suffering. To help your physician better understand your specific pain, use descriptive terminology. The better your doctor understands the experience of pain that you’re going through, the more accurately they’ll be able to prescribe a helpful pain medication. Your doctor will most likely only prescribe you pain medication if the source of your pain is consistent with an acute injury or a debilitating chronic medical condition that you suffer from, so make sure that you describe it clearly and accurately. Use words like:
“Dull” or “aching.”
“Throbbing” or “pounding.”
“Stabbing,” “sharp,” or “shooting.”
“Burning” or “tingling.”
2-3. Rate your pain on a 1–10 scale.
Pain is an inherently subjective feeling, and it’s tough to communicate that to a doctor. To help your doctor understand the degree of the severity of your pain, describe pain using a 1–10 scale. 1 is a very mild pain (e.g. a slight sore throat) and 10 is a severe pain (e.g. the worse you’ve ever experienced.) To communicate this to your doctor, say something like:
When I first wake up, my neck pain is mild, maybe a 3. But by the time I’m going to bed it’s become much worse, maybe a 7 or 8.”
2-4. Provide your doctor with your medical documents.
Make sure to show your doctor any MRIs, X-rays, or other medical records that display important parts of your medical history. Especially if you’ve had a severe injury or condition, your doctor will be more inclined to prescribe pain medication. Whether you have a degenerative joint disease or an acute injury, your doctor will evaluate your potential need of pain medication and if so, what type on a case-by-case basis.
3. Conveying the Severity of Your Pain
3-1. Explain the duration and frequency of your pain.
This information will be helpful to your doctor as they try to diagnose the pain’s cause. Understanding the amount of time that your pain lasts for and how frequently it occurs will allow your doctor to prescribe the most effective pain medication. A brief, infrequent pain, likely has a different cause than a long-lasting, constant pain, even if both of the pains are similarly severe (e.g. both an 8). Say something like:
“The severe headaches never last for very long; maybe only about 15 or 20 minutes at a time. They happen three or four times per day, though.”
“My pain in my hips is constant; I feel it throughout the day. There’s no point at which I’m not in serious pain.”
3-2. State the psychological effect of your pain.
It’s important for your physician to understand the ways in which your pain is hampering or worsening your daily life. This will increase a doctor’s likelihood of writing you an effective prescription for pain medication. If you find that your pain is interfering with your abilities to lead a normal life, or reduces your ability to perform daily functions, convey this to your physician. Say something like:
“The pain in my back has prevented me from being able to do some everyday activities that I never used to struggle with, like driving and working out.”
“My pain is so intense that some days it’s not even worth getting out of bed.”
3-3. Be careful not to develop a drug dependency.
Part of the reason that doctors are often hesitant to prescribe pain medications is that the meds are potent and can be habit-forming. Users of opioid-based pain medications—such as hydrocodone (e.g. Vicodin) and oxycodone (e.g. OxyContin and Percocet)—are at an especially high risk for developing a dependency.
Even a prescription drug dependency can result in a potentially fatal overdose.
Tips
Never take prescription pain medications without a prescription from a doctor. Always say “no” if you’re offered another person’s prescription pain meds.
See a specialty pain clinic if you think you need a more consistent, long-term dosage of pain medication.
Don’t ever try to manipulate your doctor into prescribing pain medication. Just be honest and your doctor will provide you with the care that you need.
Warnings
Narcotic analgesics are highly addicting, so first try to relieve your pain using other methods and/or types of medication.
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Mixing drugs can have harmful side effects, so it’s important to be thorough when relating which—if any—meds you currently take.\\n1-3. Describe other activities done to relieve pain.\\nWhen you’re asking your doctor for a pain medication, they may want to know if you have tried any non-medical means of alleviating pain, and if those methods have produced successful results. If you’ve tried acupuncture, massages, yoga or Pilates, or any other non-medical pain-relief techniques, let your doctor know. \\nBe aware that doctors will be less likely to prescribe a pain medication if the problem can be alleviated through other, non-medical means.\\n2. Describing the Pain\\n2-1. Describe the location of the pain as specifically as possible.\\nYour doctor will not be able to diagnose your pain, understand the root of the symptoms, or prescribe an effective pain medication if your descriptions are vague. Tell your doctor exactly where on your body you experience the pain, and if the pain travels or moves from one location to another, be precise about that as well. For example:\\nRather than saying, “My back hurts,” say something like, “I feel pain between my shoulder blades, and sometimes a stabbing feeling shoots up my neck.”\\n“My pain is all in my legs, but during the course of the day it moves from a sharp pain in my ankles to a more throbbing pain in my knees and hips.”\\n2-2. Use precise language to convey how your pain feels.\\n“Pain” itself is a fairly broad term; it can cover a tremendous variety of symptoms, from mild discomfort to tremendous suffering. To help your physician better understand your specific pain, use descriptive terminology. The better your doctor understands the experience of pain that you’re going through, the more accurately they’ll be able to prescribe a helpful pain medication. Your doctor will most likely only prescribe you pain medication if the source of your pain is consistent with an acute injury or a debilitating chronic medical condition that you suffer from, so make sure that you describe it clearly and accurately. Use words like: \\n“Dull” or “aching.”\\n“Throbbing” or “pounding.”\\n“Stabbing,” “sharp,” or “shooting.”\\n“Burning” or “tingling.”\\n2-3. Rate your pain on a 1–10 scale.\\nPain is an inherently subjective feeling, and it’s tough to communicate that to a doctor. To help your doctor understand the degree of the severity of your pain, describe pain using a 1–10 scale. 1 is a very mild pain (e.g. a slight sore throat) and 10 is a severe pain (e.g. the worse you’ve ever experienced.) To communicate this to your doctor, say something like:\\nWhen I first wake up, my neck pain is mild, maybe a 3. But by the time I’m going to bed it’s become much worse, maybe a 7 or 8.”\\n2-4. Provide your doctor with your medical documents.\\nMake sure to show your doctor any MRIs, X-rays, or other medical records that display important parts of your medical history. Especially if you’ve had a severe injury or condition, your doctor will be more inclined to prescribe pain medication. Whether you have a degenerative joint disease or an acute injury, your doctor will evaluate your potential need of pain medication and if so, what type on a case-by-case basis.\\n3. Conveying the Severity of Your Pain\\n3-1. Explain the duration and frequency of your pain.\\nThis information will be helpful to your doctor as they try to diagnose the pain’s cause. Understanding the amount of time that your pain lasts for and how frequently it occurs will allow your doctor to prescribe the most effective pain medication. A brief, infrequent pain, likely has a different cause than a long-lasting, constant pain, even if both of the pains are similarly severe (e.g. both an 8). Say something like: \\n“The severe headaches never last for very long; maybe only about 15 or 20 minutes at a time. They happen three or four times per day, though.”\\n“My pain in my hips is constant; I feel it throughout the day. There’s no point at which I’m not in serious pain.”\\n3-2. State the psychological effect of your pain.\\nIt’s important for your physician to understand the ways in which your pain is hampering or worsening your daily life. This will increase a doctor’s likelihood of writing you an effective prescription for pain medication. If you find that your pain is interfering with your abilities to lead a normal life, or reduces your ability to perform daily functions, convey this to your physician. Say something like: \\n“The pain in my back has prevented me from being able to do some everyday activities that I never used to struggle with, like driving and working out.”\\n“My pain is so intense that some days it’s not even worth getting out of bed.”\\n3-3. Be careful not to develop a drug dependency.\\nPart of the reason that doctors are often hesitant to prescribe pain medications is that the meds are potent and can be habit-forming. Users of opioid-based pain medications—such as hydrocodone (e.g. Vicodin) and oxycodone (e.g. OxyContin and Percocet)—are at an especially high risk for developing a dependency.\\nEven a prescription drug dependency can result in a potentially fatal overdose.\\nTips\\nNever take prescription pain medications without a prescription from a doctor. Always say “no” if you’re offered another person’s prescription pain meds.\\nSee a specialty pain clinic if you think you need a more consistent, long-term dosage of pain medication.\\nDon’t ever try to manipulate your doctor into prescribing pain medication. Just be honest and your doctor will provide you with the care that you need.\\nWarnings\\nNarcotic analgesics are highly addicting, so first try to relieve your pain using other methods and/or types of medication.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re experiencing moderate to severe pain—whether chronic or due to an injury or medical condition—you can ask your primary-care physician for a diagnosis and potentially, a pain medication. In some circumstances, doctors may be skeptical of your requests for pain meds if they think that you are abusing prescription medication or that you’re exaggerating the effects of your pain because many medications are highly addictive. To make a successful request, describe your pain on a 1–10 scale, be as specific as possible, and clarify if there are certain circumstances that cause the pain to increase or decrease.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meeting with Your Doctor\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Schedule an appointment.\", \"描述\": \"If you are experiencing pain and cannot control it with over-the-counter medications, set up an appointment with your doctor at your earliest convenience. You’ll need to make the appointment by calling the doctor’s office main phone number and speaking with the receptionist. \\nIf you’re suffering from extreme or debilitating pain, or if your doctor’s office is not currently open, you may need to have a friend or family member take you to an emergency room or urgent care facility.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell the doctor if you’re currently taking any over-the-counter or prescription pain meds.\", \"描述\": \"Your doctor will request this information if you ask for pain medication, even if you’re only requesting an extension of an existing prescription. Make sure you tell your doctor if you take any over-the-counter medication such as Tylenol or Ibuprofen, and whether or not these provide any relief. Mixing drugs can have harmful side effects, so it’s important to be thorough when relating which—if any—meds you currently take.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Describe other activities done to relieve pain.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re asking your doctor for a pain medication, they may want to know if you have tried any non-medical means of alleviating pain, and if those methods have produced successful results. If you’ve tried acupuncture, massages, yoga or Pilates, or any other non-medical pain-relief techniques, let your doctor know. \\nBe aware that doctors will be less likely to prescribe a pain medication if the problem can be alleviated through other, non-medical means.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Describing the Pain\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Describe the location of the pain as specifically as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Your doctor will not be able to diagnose your pain, understand the root of the symptoms, or prescribe an effective pain medication if your descriptions are vague. Tell your doctor exactly where on your body you experience the pain, and if the pain travels or moves from one location to another, be precise about that as well. For example:\\nRather than saying, “My back hurts,” say something like, “I feel pain between my shoulder blades, and sometimes a stabbing feeling shoots up my neck.”\\n“My pain is all in my legs, but during the course of the day it moves from a sharp pain in my ankles to a more throbbing pain in my knees and hips.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use precise language to convey how your pain feels.\", \"描述\": \"“Pain” itself is a fairly broad term; it can cover a tremendous variety of symptoms, from mild discomfort to tremendous suffering. To help your physician better understand your specific pain, use descriptive terminology. The better your doctor understands the experience of pain that you’re going through, the more accurately they’ll be able to prescribe a helpful pain medication. Your doctor will most likely only prescribe you pain medication if the source of your pain is consistent with an acute injury or a debilitating chronic medical condition that you suffer from, so make sure that you describe it clearly and accurately. Use words like: \\n“Dull” or “aching.”\\n“Throbbing” or “pounding.”\\n“Stabbing,” “sharp,” or “shooting.”\\n“Burning” or “tingling.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rate your pain on a 1–10 scale.\", \"描述\": \"Pain is an inherently subjective feeling, and it’s tough to communicate that to a doctor. To help your doctor understand the degree of the severity of your pain, describe pain using a 1–10 scale. 1 is a very mild pain (e.g. a slight sore throat) and 10 is a severe pain (e.g. the worse you’ve ever experienced.) To communicate this to your doctor, say something like:\\nWhen I first wake up, my neck pain is mild, maybe a 3. But by the time I’m going to bed it’s become much worse, maybe a 7 or 8.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide your doctor with your medical documents.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to show your doctor any MRIs, X-rays, or other medical records that display important parts of your medical history. Especially if you’ve had a severe injury or condition, your doctor will be more inclined to prescribe pain medication. Whether you have a degenerative joint disease or an acute injury, your doctor will evaluate your potential need of pain medication and if so, what type on a case-by-case basis.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Conveying the Severity of Your Pain\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain the duration and frequency of your pain.\", \"描述\": \"This information will be helpful to your doctor as they try to diagnose the pain’s cause. Understanding the amount of time that your pain lasts for and how frequently it occurs will allow your doctor to prescribe the most effective pain medication. A brief, infrequent pain, likely has a different cause than a long-lasting, constant pain, even if both of the pains are similarly severe (e.g. both an 8). Say something like: \\n“The severe headaches never last for very long; maybe only about 15 or 20 minutes at a time. They happen three or four times per day, though.”\\n“My pain in my hips is constant; I feel it throughout the day. There’s no point at which I’m not in serious pain.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"State the psychological effect of your pain.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important for your physician to understand the ways in which your pain is hampering or worsening your daily life. This will increase a doctor’s likelihood of writing you an effective prescription for pain medication. If you find that your pain is interfering with your abilities to lead a normal life, or reduces your ability to perform daily functions, convey this to your physician. Say something like: \\n“The pain in my back has prevented me from being able to do some everyday activities that I never used to struggle with, like driving and working out.”\\n“My pain is so intense that some days it’s not even worth getting out of bed.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be careful not to develop a drug dependency.\", \"描述\": \"Part of the reason that doctors are often hesitant to prescribe pain medications is that the meds are potent and can be habit-forming. Users of opioid-based pain medications—such as hydrocodone (e.g. Vicodin) and oxycodone (e.g. OxyContin and Percocet)—are at an especially high risk for developing a dependency.\\nEven a prescription drug dependency can result in a potentially fatal overdose.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Never take prescription pain medications without a prescription from a doctor. Always say “no” if you’re offered another person’s prescription pain meds.\\n\", \"See a specialty pain clinic if you think you need a more consistent, long-term dosage of pain medication.\\n\", \"Don’t ever try to manipulate your doctor into prescribing pain medication. Just be honest and your doctor will provide you with the care that you need.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Narcotic analgesics are highly addicting, so first try to relieve your pain using other methods and/or types of medication.\\n\"]}]}}",
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2,503 | How to Ask Your Employer to Sponsor a Green Card | 1. Confirming Your Green Card Eligibility
1-1. Look into your employment authorization status.
In order to get a Green Card, you will need to have permission to work in the US. If you are already living and authorized to work in the US (e.g., on an H-1B visa or with an Employment Authorization Document), then the Green Card application process will be easier. If you do not have a visa or other form of approval to live and work in the US, you may have a long waiting period before you can get Green Card approval.
If you do not have permission to work in the US already, you have a variety of options. If you are in the US temporarily as a refugee, a student, or a non-permanent employee, you can submit an Application for Employment Authorization (form I-765).
There are also a variety of nonimmigrant visas available for people who want to work in the US temporarily. These visas can serve as stepping stones for starting the Green Card application process.
1-2. Check the eligibility categories for employment-based Green Cards.
Before approaching an employer or potential employer about getting a Green Card, consider whether you belong to one of these categories:
EB-1, or “first preference”: Workers with exceptional skills in the arts, sciences, education, business, or athletics, including researchers, professors, and multinational managers or business executives.
EB-2, or “second preference”: Workers in professions that require an advanced degree, people who are highly skilled in the sciences, arts, or business (e.g., with more than 10 years of experience and evidence of exceptional abilities or contributions in their field), and workers applying for a national interest waiver.
EB-3, or “third preference”: Skilled workers (people with 2+ years of training or work experience), professionals (people with a bachelor’s degree or equivalent in their profession), and unskilled workers (for labor requiring less than 2 years of experience or training, e.g., manual labor in factory settings, or certain types of agricultural work).
EB-4, or “fourth preference”: Immigrants with special status (e.g., religious workers, certain physicians, broadcasters, and other special categories).
1-3. Find out if there is anything that might make you ineligible.
In addition to your skills and credentials, there are other factors that may affect your ability to get a Green Card or work in the US. You may have trouble getting a Green Card or be ineligible to get a Green Card if you:
Have a health condition that is potentially a threat to others, such as a communicable disease, or a mental disorder that may cause you to behave in ways that threaten yourself or others.
Have a criminal record in the United States or another country.
Have ties to organizations that are considered hostile to US interests, such as known terrorist organizations or totalitarian political parties.
Entered the US illegally or have been working in the US without permission.
2. Approaching Your Employer about Sponsorship
2-1. Be honest about your work eligibility when you apply.
Many jobs require applicants to specify whether they are eligible to work in the US. If your potential employer asks you whether you will need sponsorship to work in the US now or in the future, answer honestly. If they are willing to interview you or make a job offer with that information in mind, chances are they will be willing to consider sponsoring you for a Green Card.
Employers in the US are not legally allowed to ask you if you are a US citizen, and they cannot ask about your national origin. They can only ask if you are currently authorized to work in the US, and if you may need sponsorship in the future.
You are not legally required to prove your eligibility to work in the US unless you are offered a job.
2-2. Discuss Green Card sponsorship after you get a job offer.
If you have gotten as far as receiving a job offer, then your employer is clearly very interested in working with you and is likely already aware of your immigrant status. This is a good time to bring up the issue of Green Card sponsorship.
For example, if you have just received a job offer, you might say something like, “I am very interested in this opportunity and would like to accept your offer. Before we go forward, can we discuss the steps we need to take together to help me get authorization to work permanently in the US?”
2-3. Ask your employer about their Green Card policy.
There is no consistent policy from one employer to another regarding Green Card sponsorship. Your employer’s willingness to sponsor you may depend on a variety of factors, such as how big the company is, which eligibility category you fall into, whether or not you already have permission to work in the US, and whether you are a potential hire or a current employee.
Some employers may have an immigration lawyer on staff to make the process easier.
Some employers might start the process of sponsoring you for a Green Card immediately at the time that you are hired, while others may expect you to spend some time with the company on a work visa first.
2-4. Talk to your employer about your eligibility.
The process for getting your Green Card depends on which eligibility category you fall into (EB-1, EB-2, EB-3, or other). Your employer will not need to file as much paperwork if you are an EB-1 (“first preference”) worker as they would for other categories. Let your employer know if you already have an immigration or work visa.
Your employer can call the US Citizenship and Immigration Services office at 1-800-357-2099 to get more information about permanent employment eligibility categories for immigrants.
2-5. Find out if your employer expects you to cover any expenses.
The Green Card filing process can be very expensive for both you and your employer. While your employer is required to cover some of the costs (e.g., for obtaining your Permanent Labor Certification), they may expect you to cover some or all of the other required fees for obtaining your Green Card. Sit down with your employer ahead of time and come up with a formal agreement about who will be responsible for which expenses.
Your employer may hold you responsible for the I-140 (Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker) and I-485 (Green Card application) filing fees. If you are applying for just yourself, these fees may total around $1,925. Additional fees may apply if you are seeking Green Cards for dependents or relatives.
Some employers may charge employees for attorneys’ fees associated with the Green Card filing process.
3. Gathering the Appropriate Documents
3-1. Find out if you need an Application for Permanent Labor Certification.
Most categories of immigrant employees will need a Permanent Labor Certification before they can apply for a Green Card. If you are an EB-1 worker or an EB-2 worker who qualifies for a national interest waiver, your employer will not need to file for a Permanent Labor Certification for you.
Your employer is responsible for submitting the application and paying all application fees for your Permanent Labor Certification.
The process of filing for Permanent Labor Certification is complex, and it may take several months to complete. Your employer can check the status of the application here: https://icert.doleta.gov/
3-2. Ask your employer to file an I-140 form for you.
After your employer obtains a Permanent Labor Certification for you (if applicable), the next step is for them to file an I-140 (Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker) form on your behalf. Depending on your circumstances, you may need to get your I-140 petition approved before you can apply for a Green Card. If there is no wait time for you to get your immigration visa, you can file your I-485 (Green Card application) and I-140 form at the same time.
Work with your employer to ensure they have all the information they need to fill out the I-140 correctly (including your full name, country of citizenship and country of nationality, mailing address, Alien Registration Number, passport number, and I-94 Arrival-Departure Record Number).
If you have any family members or dependents who will be immigrating with you, your employer will need to provide information about them on the I-140 as well.
If you fall under a special immigrant category (e.g., if you are a religious worker, a Canal Zone employee, or a physician working under certain circumstances), your employer will need to file an I-360 form (Petition for Amerasian, Widow(er), or Special Immigrant) instead.
I-140 processing time typically takes several months. However, most categories of immigrant workers can qualify for premium processing, which guarantees a processing time of 15 days. Premium processing requires an additional filing fee of $1,225 and the completion of an I-907 form.
3-3. File a Form I-485 if you are already in the US.
It is your responsibility to file the I-485 (Application to Register Permanent Residence). You must be physically present in the US and have an immigrant visa available to you immediately in order to file the I-485. The form is available for free from the USCIS website here: https://www.uscis.gov/i-485
Where you file the form will depend on your individual circumstances. Check the USCIS Direct Filing Addresses page here: https://www.uscis.gov/i-485-addresses
The typical filing fee for employment-based applicants is $1,225 USD. Some employers may be willing to pay some or all of this fee for you.
The wait time for getting your I-485 approved may vary depending on your immigrant status and which office is handling your case. If you are in the US and have paid your immigrant visa fee, processing time may take up to 120 days from the time of entry or the time of paying the fee.
3-4. Submit any other applicable documents.
You will need to submit various documents along with your I-485 in order to support your application. These will vary depending on your circumstances and eligibility category, but may include:
2 passport-style color photos of yourself.
A photocopy of a government-issued ID with a photograph (e.g., your passport).
A photocopy of your birth certificate, or proof that no birth certificate is available.
Copies of documents certifying that you were inspected by an immigration officer and admitted into the US.
Documentation of your immigrant category.
A copy of an official job offer from your employer.
A form completed by a USCIS civil surgeon certifying that you do not have any medical conditions that would prevent you from being eligible to live in the US.
3-5. Check the status of your application.
Once you’ve submitted all of the appropriate fees and paperwork, you can check the status of your application online. Keep your filing receipts, as you will need the receipt number to look up your case. Check your status here: https://egov.uscis.gov/casestatus/landing.do
3-6. File an appeal if your application is denied.
If your application for a Green Card is denied, you may be able to submit an appeal to the USCIS Administrative Appeals Office (AAO). An appeal must be filed within 30 days of an unfavorable decision.
To appeal, file a form I-290B (Notice of Appeal or Motion). In most cases, you will need to submit a $675 filing fee.
Tips
If you will be doing work that will be of great benefit to the United States, such as teaching children in underserved areas, you may qualify for a national interest waiver. The NIW is typically available to workers in the EB-2 (second preference) category. If you qualify for an NIW, you do not need to get sponsorship from an employer to apply for a Green Card.[23]
X
Trustworthy Source
US Citizenship and Immigration Services
U.S. government agency in charge of the naturalization and immigration systems
Go to source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Confirming Your Green Card Eligibility\\n1-1. Look into your employment authorization status.\\nIn order to get a Green Card, you will need to have permission to work in the US. If you are already living and authorized to work in the US (e.g., on an H-1B visa or with an Employment Authorization Document), then the Green Card application process will be easier. If you do not have a visa or other form of approval to live and work in the US, you may have a long waiting period before you can get Green Card approval.\\nIf you do not have permission to work in the US already, you have a variety of options. If you are in the US temporarily as a refugee, a student, or a non-permanent employee, you can submit an Application for Employment Authorization (form I-765).\\nThere are also a variety of nonimmigrant visas available for people who want to work in the US temporarily. These visas can serve as stepping stones for starting the Green Card application process.\\n1-2. Check the eligibility categories for employment-based Green Cards.\\nBefore approaching an employer or potential employer about getting a Green Card, consider whether you belong to one of these categories:\\nEB-1, or “first preference”: Workers with exceptional skills in the arts, sciences, education, business, or athletics, including researchers, professors, and multinational managers or business executives.\\nEB-2, or “second preference”: Workers in professions that require an advanced degree, people who are highly skilled in the sciences, arts, or business (e.g., with more than 10 years of experience and evidence of exceptional abilities or contributions in their field), and workers applying for a national interest waiver.\\nEB-3, or “third preference”: Skilled workers (people with 2+ years of training or work experience), professionals (people with a bachelor’s degree or equivalent in their profession), and unskilled workers (for labor requiring less than 2 years of experience or training, e.g., manual labor in factory settings, or certain types of agricultural work).\\nEB-4, or “fourth preference”: Immigrants with special status (e.g., religious workers, certain physicians, broadcasters, and other special categories).\\n1-3. Find out if there is anything that might make you ineligible.\\nIn addition to your skills and credentials, there are other factors that may affect your ability to get a Green Card or work in the US. You may have trouble getting a Green Card or be ineligible to get a Green Card if you:\\nHave a health condition that is potentially a threat to others, such as a communicable disease, or a mental disorder that may cause you to behave in ways that threaten yourself or others.\\nHave a criminal record in the United States or another country.\\nHave ties to organizations that are considered hostile to US interests, such as known terrorist organizations or totalitarian political parties.\\nEntered the US illegally or have been working in the US without permission.\\n2. Approaching Your Employer about Sponsorship\\n2-1. Be honest about your work eligibility when you apply.\\nMany jobs require applicants to specify whether they are eligible to work in the US. If your potential employer asks you whether you will need sponsorship to work in the US now or in the future, answer honestly. If they are willing to interview you or make a job offer with that information in mind, chances are they will be willing to consider sponsoring you for a Green Card.\\nEmployers in the US are not legally allowed to ask you if you are a US citizen, and they cannot ask about your national origin. They can only ask if you are currently authorized to work in the US, and if you may need sponsorship in the future.\\nYou are not legally required to prove your eligibility to work in the US unless you are offered a job.\\n2-2. Discuss Green Card sponsorship after you get a job offer.\\nIf you have gotten as far as receiving a job offer, then your employer is clearly very interested in working with you and is likely already aware of your immigrant status. This is a good time to bring up the issue of Green Card sponsorship.\\nFor example, if you have just received a job offer, you might say something like, “I am very interested in this opportunity and would like to accept your offer. Before we go forward, can we discuss the steps we need to take together to help me get authorization to work permanently in the US?”\\n2-3. Ask your employer about their Green Card policy.\\nThere is no consistent policy from one employer to another regarding Green Card sponsorship. Your employer’s willingness to sponsor you may depend on a variety of factors, such as how big the company is, which eligibility category you fall into, whether or not you already have permission to work in the US, and whether you are a potential hire or a current employee.\\nSome employers may have an immigration lawyer on staff to make the process easier.\\nSome employers might start the process of sponsoring you for a Green Card immediately at the time that you are hired, while others may expect you to spend some time with the company on a work visa first.\\n2-4. Talk to your employer about your eligibility.\\nThe process for getting your Green Card depends on which eligibility category you fall into (EB-1, EB-2, EB-3, or other). Your employer will not need to file as much paperwork if you are an EB-1 (“first preference”) worker as they would for other categories. Let your employer know if you already have an immigration or work visa.\\nYour employer can call the US Citizenship and Immigration Services office at 1-800-357-2099 to get more information about permanent employment eligibility categories for immigrants.\\n2-5. Find out if your employer expects you to cover any expenses.\\nThe Green Card filing process can be very expensive for both you and your employer. While your employer is required to cover some of the costs (e.g., for obtaining your Permanent Labor Certification), they may expect you to cover some or all of the other required fees for obtaining your Green Card. Sit down with your employer ahead of time and come up with a formal agreement about who will be responsible for which expenses.\\nYour employer may hold you responsible for the I-140 (Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker) and I-485 (Green Card application) filing fees. If you are applying for just yourself, these fees may total around $1,925. Additional fees may apply if you are seeking Green Cards for dependents or relatives.\\nSome employers may charge employees for attorneys’ fees associated with the Green Card filing process.\\n3. Gathering the Appropriate Documents\\n3-1. Find out if you need an Application for Permanent Labor Certification.\\nMost categories of immigrant employees will need a Permanent Labor Certification before they can apply for a Green Card. If you are an EB-1 worker or an EB-2 worker who qualifies for a national interest waiver, your employer will not need to file for a Permanent Labor Certification for you.\\nYour employer is responsible for submitting the application and paying all application fees for your Permanent Labor Certification.\\nThe process of filing for Permanent Labor Certification is complex, and it may take several months to complete. Your employer can check the status of the application here: https://icert.doleta.gov/\\n3-2. Ask your employer to file an I-140 form for you.\\nAfter your employer obtains a Permanent Labor Certification for you (if applicable), the next step is for them to file an I-140 (Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker) form on your behalf. Depending on your circumstances, you may need to get your I-140 petition approved before you can apply for a Green Card. If there is no wait time for you to get your immigration visa, you can file your I-485 (Green Card application) and I-140 form at the same time.\\nWork with your employer to ensure they have all the information they need to fill out the I-140 correctly (including your full name, country of citizenship and country of nationality, mailing address, Alien Registration Number, passport number, and I-94 Arrival-Departure Record Number).\\nIf you have any family members or dependents who will be immigrating with you, your employer will need to provide information about them on the I-140 as well.\\nIf you fall under a special immigrant category (e.g., if you are a religious worker, a Canal Zone employee, or a physician working under certain circumstances), your employer will need to file an I-360 form (Petition for Amerasian, Widow(er), or Special Immigrant) instead.\\nI-140 processing time typically takes several months. However, most categories of immigrant workers can qualify for premium processing, which guarantees a processing time of 15 days. Premium processing requires an additional filing fee of $1,225 and the completion of an I-907 form.\\n3-3. File a Form I-485 if you are already in the US.\\nIt is your responsibility to file the I-485 (Application to Register Permanent Residence). You must be physically present in the US and have an immigrant visa available to you immediately in order to file the I-485. The form is available for free from the USCIS website here: https://www.uscis.gov/i-485\\nWhere you file the form will depend on your individual circumstances. Check the USCIS Direct Filing Addresses page here: https://www.uscis.gov/i-485-addresses\\nThe typical filing fee for employment-based applicants is $1,225 USD. Some employers may be willing to pay some or all of this fee for you.\\nThe wait time for getting your I-485 approved may vary depending on your immigrant status and which office is handling your case. If you are in the US and have paid your immigrant visa fee, processing time may take up to 120 days from the time of entry or the time of paying the fee.\\n3-4. Submit any other applicable documents.\\nYou will need to submit various documents along with your I-485 in order to support your application. These will vary depending on your circumstances and eligibility category, but may include:\\n2 passport-style color photos of yourself.\\nA photocopy of a government-issued ID with a photograph (e.g., your passport).\\nA photocopy of your birth certificate, or proof that no birth certificate is available.\\nCopies of documents certifying that you were inspected by an immigration officer and admitted into the US.\\nDocumentation of your immigrant category.\\nA copy of an official job offer from your employer.\\nA form completed by a USCIS civil surgeon certifying that you do not have any medical conditions that would prevent you from being eligible to live in the US.\\n3-5. Check the status of your application.\\nOnce you’ve submitted all of the appropriate fees and paperwork, you can check the status of your application online. Keep your filing receipts, as you will need the receipt number to look up your case. Check your status here: https://egov.uscis.gov/casestatus/landing.do\\n3-6. File an appeal if your application is denied.\\nIf your application for a Green Card is denied, you may be able to submit an appeal to the USCIS Administrative Appeals Office (AAO). An appeal must be filed within 30 days of an unfavorable decision.\\nTo appeal, file a form I-290B (Notice of Appeal or Motion). In most cases, you will need to submit a $675 filing fee.\\nTips\\nIf you will be doing work that will be of great benefit to the United States, such as teaching children in underserved areas, you may qualify for a national interest waiver. The NIW is typically available to workers in the EB-2 (second preference) category. If you qualify for an NIW, you do not need to get sponsorship from an employer to apply for a Green Card.[23]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nUS Citizenship and Immigration Services\\nU.S. government agency in charge of the naturalization and immigration systems\\nGo to source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A Green Card, or Permanent Resident Card, is a document that allows foreign nationals to live and work permanently in the US. Getting an employment-based Green Card can be tricky, however, since it costs money and takes time for your employer to arrange. Improve your chances by first making sure that you are already eligible to apply for a Green Card. Have a conversation with your employer about your desire to get a Green Card, and discuss your options. Work with your employer to make sure you have all the documents you need to apply.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Confirming Your Green Card Eligibility\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look into your employment authorization status.\", \"描述\": \"In order to get a Green Card, you will need to have permission to work in the US. If you are already living and authorized to work in the US (e.g., on an H-1B visa or with an Employment Authorization Document), then the Green Card application process will be easier. If you do not have a visa or other form of approval to live and work in the US, you may have a long waiting period before you can get Green Card approval.\\nIf you do not have permission to work in the US already, you have a variety of options. If you are in the US temporarily as a refugee, a student, or a non-permanent employee, you can submit an Application for Employment Authorization (form I-765).\\nThere are also a variety of nonimmigrant visas available for people who want to work in the US temporarily. These visas can serve as stepping stones for starting the Green Card application process.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check the eligibility categories for employment-based Green Cards.\", \"描述\": \"Before approaching an employer or potential employer about getting a Green Card, consider whether you belong to one of these categories:\\nEB-1, or “first preference”: Workers with exceptional skills in the arts, sciences, education, business, or athletics, including researchers, professors, and multinational managers or business executives.\\nEB-2, or “second preference”: Workers in professions that require an advanced degree, people who are highly skilled in the sciences, arts, or business (e.g., with more than 10 years of experience and evidence of exceptional abilities or contributions in their field), and workers applying for a national interest waiver.\\nEB-3, or “third preference”: Skilled workers (people with 2+ years of training or work experience), professionals (people with a bachelor’s degree or equivalent in their profession), and unskilled workers (for labor requiring less than 2 years of experience or training, e.g., manual labor in factory settings, or certain types of agricultural work).\\nEB-4, or “fourth preference”: Immigrants with special status (e.g., religious workers, certain physicians, broadcasters, and other special categories).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out if there is anything that might make you ineligible.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to your skills and credentials, there are other factors that may affect your ability to get a Green Card or work in the US. You may have trouble getting a Green Card or be ineligible to get a Green Card if you:\\nHave a health condition that is potentially a threat to others, such as a communicable disease, or a mental disorder that may cause you to behave in ways that threaten yourself or others.\\nHave a criminal record in the United States or another country.\\nHave ties to organizations that are considered hostile to US interests, such as known terrorist organizations or totalitarian political parties.\\nEntered the US illegally or have been working in the US without permission.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Approaching Your Employer about Sponsorship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be honest about your work eligibility when you apply.\", \"描述\": \"Many jobs require applicants to specify whether they are eligible to work in the US. If your potential employer asks you whether you will need sponsorship to work in the US now or in the future, answer honestly. If they are willing to interview you or make a job offer with that information in mind, chances are they will be willing to consider sponsoring you for a Green Card.\\nEmployers in the US are not legally allowed to ask you if you are a US citizen, and they cannot ask about your national origin. They can only ask if you are currently authorized to work in the US, and if you may need sponsorship in the future.\\nYou are not legally required to prove your eligibility to work in the US unless you are offered a job.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discuss Green Card sponsorship after you get a job offer.\", \"描述\": \"If you have gotten as far as receiving a job offer, then your employer is clearly very interested in working with you and is likely already aware of your immigrant status. This is a good time to bring up the issue of Green Card sponsorship.\\nFor example, if you have just received a job offer, you might say something like, “I am very interested in this opportunity and would like to accept your offer. Before we go forward, can we discuss the steps we need to take together to help me get authorization to work permanently in the US?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your employer about their Green Card policy.\", \"描述\": \"There is no consistent policy from one employer to another regarding Green Card sponsorship. Your employer’s willingness to sponsor you may depend on a variety of factors, such as how big the company is, which eligibility category you fall into, whether or not you already have permission to work in the US, and whether you are a potential hire or a current employee.\\nSome employers may have an immigration lawyer on staff to make the process easier.\\nSome employers might start the process of sponsoring you for a Green Card immediately at the time that you are hired, while others may expect you to spend some time with the company on a work visa first.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to your employer about your eligibility.\", \"描述\": \"The process for getting your Green Card depends on which eligibility category you fall into (EB-1, EB-2, EB-3, or other). Your employer will not need to file as much paperwork if you are an EB-1 (“first preference”) worker as they would for other categories. Let your employer know if you already have an immigration or work visa.\\nYour employer can call the US Citizenship and Immigration Services office at 1-800-357-2099 to get more information about permanent employment eligibility categories for immigrants.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find out if your employer expects you to cover any expenses.\", \"描述\": \"The Green Card filing process can be very expensive for both you and your employer. While your employer is required to cover some of the costs (e.g., for obtaining your Permanent Labor Certification), they may expect you to cover some or all of the other required fees for obtaining your Green Card. Sit down with your employer ahead of time and come up with a formal agreement about who will be responsible for which expenses.\\nYour employer may hold you responsible for the I-140 (Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker) and I-485 (Green Card application) filing fees. If you are applying for just yourself, these fees may total around $1,925. Additional fees may apply if you are seeking Green Cards for dependents or relatives.\\nSome employers may charge employees for attorneys’ fees associated with the Green Card filing process.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gathering the Appropriate Documents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out if you need an Application for Permanent Labor Certification.\", \"描述\": \"Most categories of immigrant employees will need a Permanent Labor Certification before they can apply for a Green Card. If you are an EB-1 worker or an EB-2 worker who qualifies for a national interest waiver, your employer will not need to file for a Permanent Labor Certification for you.\\nYour employer is responsible for submitting the application and paying all application fees for your Permanent Labor Certification.\\nThe process of filing for Permanent Labor Certification is complex, and it may take several months to complete. Your employer can check the status of the application here: https://icert.doleta.gov/\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask your employer to file an I-140 form for you.\", \"描述\": \"After your employer obtains a Permanent Labor Certification for you (if applicable), the next step is for them to file an I-140 (Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker) form on your behalf. Depending on your circumstances, you may need to get your I-140 petition approved before you can apply for a Green Card. If there is no wait time for you to get your immigration visa, you can file your I-485 (Green Card application) and I-140 form at the same time.\\nWork with your employer to ensure they have all the information they need to fill out the I-140 correctly (including your full name, country of citizenship and country of nationality, mailing address, Alien Registration Number, passport number, and I-94 Arrival-Departure Record Number).\\nIf you have any family members or dependents who will be immigrating with you, your employer will need to provide information about them on the I-140 as well.\\nIf you fall under a special immigrant category (e.g., if you are a religious worker, a Canal Zone employee, or a physician working under certain circumstances), your employer will need to file an I-360 form (Petition for Amerasian, Widow(er), or Special Immigrant) instead.\\nI-140 processing time typically takes several months. However, most categories of immigrant workers can qualify for premium processing, which guarantees a processing time of 15 days. Premium processing requires an additional filing fee of $1,225 and the completion of an I-907 form.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"File a Form I-485 if you are already in the US.\", \"描述\": \"It is your responsibility to file the I-485 (Application to Register Permanent Residence). You must be physically present in the US and have an immigrant visa available to you immediately in order to file the I-485. The form is available for free from the USCIS website here: https://www.uscis.gov/i-485\\nWhere you file the form will depend on your individual circumstances. Check the USCIS Direct Filing Addresses page here: https://www.uscis.gov/i-485-addresses\\nThe typical filing fee for employment-based applicants is $1,225 USD. Some employers may be willing to pay some or all of this fee for you.\\nThe wait time for getting your I-485 approved may vary depending on your immigrant status and which office is handling your case. If you are in the US and have paid your immigrant visa fee, processing time may take up to 120 days from the time of entry or the time of paying the fee.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Submit any other applicable documents.\", \"描述\": \"You will need to submit various documents along with your I-485 in order to support your application. These will vary depending on your circumstances and eligibility category, but may include:\\n2 passport-style color photos of yourself.\\nA photocopy of a government-issued ID with a photograph (e.g., your passport).\\nA photocopy of your birth certificate, or proof that no birth certificate is available.\\nCopies of documents certifying that you were inspected by an immigration officer and admitted into the US.\\nDocumentation of your immigrant category.\\nA copy of an official job offer from your employer.\\nA form completed by a USCIS civil surgeon certifying that you do not have any medical conditions that would prevent you from being eligible to live in the US.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check the status of your application.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve submitted all of the appropriate fees and paperwork, you can check the status of your application online. Keep your filing receipts, as you will need the receipt number to look up your case. Check your status here: https://egov.uscis.gov/casestatus/landing.do\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"File an appeal if your application is denied.\", \"描述\": \"If your application for a Green Card is denied, you may be able to submit an appeal to the USCIS Administrative Appeals Office (AAO). An appeal must be filed within 30 days of an unfavorable decision.\\nTo appeal, file a form I-290B (Notice of Appeal or Motion). In most cases, you will need to submit a $675 filing fee.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you will be doing work that will be of great benefit to the United States, such as teaching children in underserved areas, you may qualify for a national interest waiver. The NIW is typically available to workers in the EB-2 (second preference) category. If you qualify for an NIW, you do not need to get sponsorship from an employer to apply for a Green Card.[23]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nUS Citizenship and Immigration Services\\nU.S. government agency in charge of the naturalization and immigration systems\\nGo to source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,504 | How to Ask Your Ex Out | 1. Reconnecting with Your Ex
1-1. Give your ex some time and space.
After the initial breakup, both you and your ex will doubtlessly need time and space away from each other to process the breakup and recover emotionally. Even if you decide the next day that you want to get back together, give your ex at least a month or two before you start making new overtures.
If you like, use this time as an opportunity to meet and even date other people. If you date someone new, you may find that your desire for your ex fades with time.
Extended time and space apart may allow you both to gain perspective on your relationship and appreciate one another more.
1-2. Start with a text.
If you still want your ex back after a couple of months, keep things low-key and send a friendly, short text. This can be a good way to judge if your ex has any interest in talking with you. It’s still too early to flirt, and certainly too early to say anything sexual. Be brief and sweet, and say something like:
“I just walked by the bakery where we used to buy baguettes together and it reminded me of you. I hope you’re doing well.”
“I heard our favorite song on the radio together and thought of some good times we’ve had. Hope you’re great.”
1-3. Call your ex for a short chat.
If your ex replied to your text and the two of you have had even a short texting conversation, you can take the next step by calling your ex. Keep the conversation light—don’t mention the breakup and don’t bring up any long-term plans to get back together. Your ex could register these as red flags and decline your invitation to see one another.
This will show that you’re willing to put in effort, that you have an interest in reconnecting with them as a person, and that you’re not just looking for a quick hookup.
2. Spending Time Together
2-1. Ask your ex to meet.
It’s a good sign if your ex seems willing to talk with you on the phone. At some point during the conversation, ask them if they’d like to meet and do something brief and light. For example, you could bring up attending an art gallery, visiting a farmer’s market, etc.
Say something like: “I heard that there’s a new photography exhibit at the art museum. I’d like to go and it should only take about an hour. Would you be interested in joining me?”
If your ex agrees and the hangout goes well, ask them if they’d like to do another similarly fun, light activity. This will also work as an effective way to gauge their interesting in rebuilding the relationship.
2-2. Tell your ex that you miss them.
Your ex will doubtlessly be curious about why you’re reconnecting with them. Be honest. This is also the time to be a little romantic even, although your ex may not be interested until they see that you’re sincere in wanting to reconnect. Say something like:
“While we’ve been apart for the past couple of months, I’ve realized how much I miss you.”
“I’ve processed things emotionally after we broke up, and I figured out that I’m not happy when you’re not a part of my life.”
2-3. Explain that you still have feelings for your ex.
This is a delicate subject to bring up, and you shouldn’t do it on the first date. Wait until your ex has agreed to see you a second or third time, and then talk about your feelings. It’s best to be open and honest: state that you still have feelings for your ex, and that you’d like to consider getting back together.
Reconnecting and getting back together with an ex can be a time-consuming process. Don’t expect your ex to immediately agree to jump back into a relationship.
Depending on how your ex feels, they may still harbor anger towards you, or may have moved on altogether.
2-4. Respect your ex’s feelings.
Once you’ve explained your romantic feelings to your ex, your ex may make it clear to you that they are not interested in getting back together and do not have any lingering romantic feelings. In this scenario, honor their wishes and abandon your plan to reconnect.
It may be appropriate to make a final appeal. Say something like, “I’m not asking for us to get back together right away. I just want one more chance to show how much I care for you.”
If your ex still declines, move on and give them the space they want.
3. Dealing with Emotional History
3-1. Apologize for things you did wrong.
If you were the one who ended the relationship, or if you said hurtful things to your ex, you need to explicitly apologize. Don’t try to skirt around the issues that lead to your breakup. Own up to your mistakes and take responsibility for ways in which you may have wronged or offended your ex.
On the other hand, you will also need to forgive your ex for any emotional harm they may have done you. If you reconnect with your ex but still harbor resentment or bitterness, the relationship is bound to fail again.
3-2. Avoid re-hashing painful past details.
While you and your ex will need to discuss and somehow resolve core issues that lead to your prior breakup, there’s no point in dragging one another through the emotionally painful details. Focus on good things about your ex, and express these in conversation. For example, say things like:
“I was out with friends the other night, and I started thinking about how funny you are and how much I love the way out senses of humor work together.”
It may help to take some time to process any stressful events or painful details of the past. Over time, your negative emotions will lose their strength, and you can gain a healthier perspective on the contributions of you and your ex to your relationship’s end.
3-3. Be discrete about what happened after the breakup.
In the best-case scenario, you and your ex can get back together as if the breakup never occurred. It may make your ex unhappy or jealous, though, to hear stories about any indiscretions you committed following the breakup. For example, don’t tell your ex unnecessary details about other people you’ve dated.
Looking to the past can result in the second relationship with your ex going just as badly as the first time around.
3-4. Seek out couples counseling.
An objective third party, such as a couples therapist, can help you and your ex increase your chances of a successful relationship going forward. A counselor can help you move past difficult issues and communicate more effectively. They can also provide support so you don’t fall back into the same old habits that led to the end of your old relationship.
3-5. Move forward, with your focus on the present.
If your ex agrees to rekindle the relationship, start making new memories, going on new dates, and re-forging your emotional connection. It can be tempting to bring old relationship baggage with you when reconciling with an ex, but don’t give in.
It can be helpful even to form a couple of new friendships that you and your partner both enjoy. This will help you both get over the breakup by interacting with more people socially.
Tips
Listen closely when communicating with your ex. They may have specific questions about the breakup that they need addressed, which you should answer. Attentive listening shows concern and respect for the person you’re talking to.[13]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reconnecting with Your Ex\\n1-1. Give your ex some time and space.\\nAfter the initial breakup, both you and your ex will doubtlessly need time and space away from each other to process the breakup and recover emotionally. Even if you decide the next day that you want to get back together, give your ex at least a month or two before you start making new overtures.\\nIf you like, use this time as an opportunity to meet and even date other people. If you date someone new, you may find that your desire for your ex fades with time.\\nExtended time and space apart may allow you both to gain perspective on your relationship and appreciate one another more.\\n1-2. Start with a text.\\nIf you still want your ex back after a couple of months, keep things low-key and send a friendly, short text. This can be a good way to judge if your ex has any interest in talking with you. It’s still too early to flirt, and certainly too early to say anything sexual. Be brief and sweet, and say something like:\\n“I just walked by the bakery where we used to buy baguettes together and it reminded me of you. I hope you’re doing well.”\\n“I heard our favorite song on the radio together and thought of some good times we’ve had. Hope you’re great.”\\n1-3. Call your ex for a short chat.\\nIf your ex replied to your text and the two of you have had even a short texting conversation, you can take the next step by calling your ex. Keep the conversation light—don’t mention the breakup and don’t bring up any long-term plans to get back together. Your ex could register these as red flags and decline your invitation to see one another.\\nThis will show that you’re willing to put in effort, that you have an interest in reconnecting with them as a person, and that you’re not just looking for a quick hookup.\\n2. Spending Time Together\\n2-1. Ask your ex to meet.\\nIt’s a good sign if your ex seems willing to talk with you on the phone. At some point during the conversation, ask them if they’d like to meet and do something brief and light. For example, you could bring up attending an art gallery, visiting a farmer’s market, etc.\\nSay something like: “I heard that there’s a new photography exhibit at the art museum. I’d like to go and it should only take about an hour. Would you be interested in joining me?”\\nIf your ex agrees and the hangout goes well, ask them if they’d like to do another similarly fun, light activity. This will also work as an effective way to gauge their interesting in rebuilding the relationship.\\n2-2. Tell your ex that you miss them.\\nYour ex will doubtlessly be curious about why you’re reconnecting with them. Be honest. This is also the time to be a little romantic even, although your ex may not be interested until they see that you’re sincere in wanting to reconnect. Say something like: \\n“While we’ve been apart for the past couple of months, I’ve realized how much I miss you.”\\n“I’ve processed things emotionally after we broke up, and I figured out that I’m not happy when you’re not a part of my life.”\\n2-3. Explain that you still have feelings for your ex.\\nThis is a delicate subject to bring up, and you shouldn’t do it on the first date. Wait until your ex has agreed to see you a second or third time, and then talk about your feelings. It’s best to be open and honest: state that you still have feelings for your ex, and that you’d like to consider getting back together.\\nReconnecting and getting back together with an ex can be a time-consuming process. Don’t expect your ex to immediately agree to jump back into a relationship.\\nDepending on how your ex feels, they may still harbor anger towards you, or may have moved on altogether.\\n2-4. Respect your ex’s feelings.\\nOnce you’ve explained your romantic feelings to your ex, your ex may make it clear to you that they are not interested in getting back together and do not have any lingering romantic feelings. In this scenario, honor their wishes and abandon your plan to reconnect.\\nIt may be appropriate to make a final appeal. Say something like, “I’m not asking for us to get back together right away. I just want one more chance to show how much I care for you.”\\nIf your ex still declines, move on and give them the space they want.\\n3. Dealing with Emotional History\\n3-1. Apologize for things you did wrong.\\nIf you were the one who ended the relationship, or if you said hurtful things to your ex, you need to explicitly apologize. Don’t try to skirt around the issues that lead to your breakup. Own up to your mistakes and take responsibility for ways in which you may have wronged or offended your ex.\\nOn the other hand, you will also need to forgive your ex for any emotional harm they may have done you. If you reconnect with your ex but still harbor resentment or bitterness, the relationship is bound to fail again.\\n3-2. Avoid re-hashing painful past details.\\nWhile you and your ex will need to discuss and somehow resolve core issues that lead to your prior breakup, there’s no point in dragging one another through the emotionally painful details. Focus on good things about your ex, and express these in conversation. For example, say things like: \\n“I was out with friends the other night, and I started thinking about how funny you are and how much I love the way out senses of humor work together.”\\nIt may help to take some time to process any stressful events or painful details of the past. Over time, your negative emotions will lose their strength, and you can gain a healthier perspective on the contributions of you and your ex to your relationship’s end.\\n3-3. Be discrete about what happened after the breakup.\\nIn the best-case scenario, you and your ex can get back together as if the breakup never occurred. It may make your ex unhappy or jealous, though, to hear stories about any indiscretions you committed following the breakup. For example, don’t tell your ex unnecessary details about other people you’ve dated.\\nLooking to the past can result in the second relationship with your ex going just as badly as the first time around.\\n3-4. Seek out couples counseling.\\nAn objective third party, such as a couples therapist, can help you and your ex increase your chances of a successful relationship going forward. A counselor can help you move past difficult issues and communicate more effectively. They can also provide support so you don’t fall back into the same old habits that led to the end of your old relationship.\\n3-5. Move forward, with your focus on the present.\\nIf your ex agrees to rekindle the relationship, start making new memories, going on new dates, and re-forging your emotional connection. It can be tempting to bring old relationship baggage with you when reconciling with an ex, but don’t give in.\\nIt can be helpful even to form a couple of new friendships that you and your partner both enjoy. This will help you both get over the breakup by interacting with more people socially.\\nTips\\nListen closely when communicating with your ex. They may have specific questions about the breakup that they need addressed, which you should answer. Attentive listening shows concern and respect for the person you’re talking to.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If two people have been in a relationship and broken up, it’s not uncommon for one of the individuals to come to regret the situation. Often, they’ll want to ask their ex back out and rebuild the relationship. Successfully asking your ex out can be challenging, since breakups are accompanied by strong feelings and the ex may want nothing to do with you. If you do decide to ask your ex out, be sure to start things out slowly, and don’t linger on bad memories.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reconnecting with Your Ex\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your ex some time and space.\", \"描述\": \"After the initial breakup, both you and your ex will doubtlessly need time and space away from each other to process the breakup and recover emotionally. Even if you decide the next day that you want to get back together, give your ex at least a month or two before you start making new overtures.\\nIf you like, use this time as an opportunity to meet and even date other people. If you date someone new, you may find that your desire for your ex fades with time.\\nExtended time and space apart may allow you both to gain perspective on your relationship and appreciate one another more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start with a text.\", \"描述\": \"If you still want your ex back after a couple of months, keep things low-key and send a friendly, short text. This can be a good way to judge if your ex has any interest in talking with you. It’s still too early to flirt, and certainly too early to say anything sexual. Be brief and sweet, and say something like:\\n“I just walked by the bakery where we used to buy baguettes together and it reminded me of you. I hope you’re doing well.”\\n“I heard our favorite song on the radio together and thought of some good times we’ve had. Hope you’re great.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Call your ex for a short chat.\", \"描述\": \"If your ex replied to your text and the two of you have had even a short texting conversation, you can take the next step by calling your ex. Keep the conversation light—don’t mention the breakup and don’t bring up any long-term plans to get back together. Your ex could register these as red flags and decline your invitation to see one another.\\nThis will show that you’re willing to put in effort, that you have an interest in reconnecting with them as a person, and that you’re not just looking for a quick hookup.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spending Time Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your ex to meet.\", \"描述\": \"It’s a good sign if your ex seems willing to talk with you on the phone. At some point during the conversation, ask them if they’d like to meet and do something brief and light. For example, you could bring up attending an art gallery, visiting a farmer’s market, etc.\\nSay something like: “I heard that there’s a new photography exhibit at the art museum. I’d like to go and it should only take about an hour. Would you be interested in joining me?”\\nIf your ex agrees and the hangout goes well, ask them if they’d like to do another similarly fun, light activity. This will also work as an effective way to gauge their interesting in rebuilding the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell your ex that you miss them.\", \"描述\": \"Your ex will doubtlessly be curious about why you’re reconnecting with them. Be honest. This is also the time to be a little romantic even, although your ex may not be interested until they see that you’re sincere in wanting to reconnect. Say something like: \\n“While we’ve been apart for the past couple of months, I’ve realized how much I miss you.”\\n“I’ve processed things emotionally after we broke up, and I figured out that I’m not happy when you’re not a part of my life.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explain that you still have feelings for your ex.\", \"描述\": \"This is a delicate subject to bring up, and you shouldn’t do it on the first date. Wait until your ex has agreed to see you a second or third time, and then talk about your feelings. It’s best to be open and honest: state that you still have feelings for your ex, and that you’d like to consider getting back together.\\nReconnecting and getting back together with an ex can be a time-consuming process. Don’t expect your ex to immediately agree to jump back into a relationship.\\nDepending on how your ex feels, they may still harbor anger towards you, or may have moved on altogether.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect your ex’s feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve explained your romantic feelings to your ex, your ex may make it clear to you that they are not interested in getting back together and do not have any lingering romantic feelings. In this scenario, honor their wishes and abandon your plan to reconnect.\\nIt may be appropriate to make a final appeal. Say something like, “I’m not asking for us to get back together right away. I just want one more chance to show how much I care for you.”\\nIf your ex still declines, move on and give them the space they want.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Emotional History\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologize for things you did wrong.\", \"描述\": \"If you were the one who ended the relationship, or if you said hurtful things to your ex, you need to explicitly apologize. Don’t try to skirt around the issues that lead to your breakup. Own up to your mistakes and take responsibility for ways in which you may have wronged or offended your ex.\\nOn the other hand, you will also need to forgive your ex for any emotional harm they may have done you. If you reconnect with your ex but still harbor resentment or bitterness, the relationship is bound to fail again.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid re-hashing painful past details.\", \"描述\": \"While you and your ex will need to discuss and somehow resolve core issues that lead to your prior breakup, there’s no point in dragging one another through the emotionally painful details. Focus on good things about your ex, and express these in conversation. For example, say things like: \\n“I was out with friends the other night, and I started thinking about how funny you are and how much I love the way out senses of humor work together.”\\nIt may help to take some time to process any stressful events or painful details of the past. Over time, your negative emotions will lose their strength, and you can gain a healthier perspective on the contributions of you and your ex to your relationship’s end.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be discrete about what happened after the breakup.\", \"描述\": \"In the best-case scenario, you and your ex can get back together as if the breakup never occurred. It may make your ex unhappy or jealous, though, to hear stories about any indiscretions you committed following the breakup. For example, don’t tell your ex unnecessary details about other people you’ve dated.\\nLooking to the past can result in the second relationship with your ex going just as badly as the first time around.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Seek out couples counseling.\", \"描述\": \"An objective third party, such as a couples therapist, can help you and your ex increase your chances of a successful relationship going forward. A counselor can help you move past difficult issues and communicate more effectively. They can also provide support so you don’t fall back into the same old habits that led to the end of your old relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Move forward, with your focus on the present.\", \"描述\": \"If your ex agrees to rekindle the relationship, start making new memories, going on new dates, and re-forging your emotional connection. It can be tempting to bring old relationship baggage with you when reconciling with an ex, but don’t give in.\\nIt can be helpful even to form a couple of new friendships that you and your partner both enjoy. This will help you both get over the breakup by interacting with more people socially.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Listen closely when communicating with your ex. They may have specific questions about the breakup that they need addressed, which you should answer. Attentive listening shows concern and respect for the person you’re talking to.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,505 | How to Ask Your Ex for Help | 1. Steps
1-1. Understand what requests are reasonable and what requests are not.
If in doubt you should ask an unbiased third party before you may a request of your former spouse.
Asking an ex to take a look at repair project is one thing. Asking your ex to house sit while you and your new boy/girlfriend go away for the weekend may be cruel.
1-2. Be sensitive that feelings and pride may still be hurt following your split.
Before you ask a favor ask yourself if the request could be insensitive in .
1-3. Avoid asking your ex for a favor that you would not ask from a very good friend.
If you only ask favors when you absolutely need them and keep the favors reasonable and in good taste, you stand a better chance of getting help when you need it.
1-4. Asking for money may be contentious depending on the financial status of both parties and the terms of your divorce.
An unexpected medical expense for a child is a reasonable financial request. Asking for money every week so you can buy jewelry is not reasonable for most people.
If you must continually ask for money to feed your children it may be time to return to your attorney and seek help from the courts.
1-5. Try to give your ex as much notice as you can when asking for a favor.
By giving them time to adjust their schedule, their budget or their mood you may have more success.
If you're required to go out of town for work next month it is better to ask your ex to switch weekends now than the week of your trip.
Dropping a financial bombshell on your ex may make them resentful. If you know your child needs dental work or new glasses, it's best to discuss it before hand with your ex and make a plan. Calling them the day of and asking for money could leave both of you upset.
By asking for reasonable favors with a reasonable time frame you can keep your relationship more friendly. It also allows you some latitude should you ever have an emergency and really need their help.
1-6. Offer to return the favor and mean it, to pay them for gas, or do something nice for your ex when they do give you a helping hand.
Make sure they know you appreciate their assistance and that they can also call you for help when they need it.
If your ex helps you cut down and put up the Christmas tree you can offer to wrap his presents for him, bake cookies for him to take to work or send him home with a gift card to his favorite store.
If your ex wife picks you up when your car dies you should send her some flowers or maybe a gift card to a salon.
1-7. Never ask for a favor and then act entitled to the service.
Remember, you should treat them as a friend and not a servant.
1-8. Keep the lines of communication open.
Don't just call them when you need something. This doesn't mean just calling to chat since that could be strange, but you should definitely remember birthdays and holidays and send a card.
1-9. Say "thank you".
They didn't have to help you, but they did.
1-10. Stay with the plan.
If they go through the trouble of helping you out be on time to meet them, don't constantly change the time or place and do what you can to make it easier on them. If the plans must change, give them as much notice as possible.
1-11. Know when to ask someone other than your ex.
If your ex makes you feel guilty, helpless or makes your life difficult you should look elsewhere for help. Start networking with other parents, co-workers, etc. Get a good support system and only call your ex when you absolutely must.
1-12. Return the favor when your ex asks one of you.
It may be inconvenient, but if you want to keep your ex in your support system you should return the favor whenever possible and reasonable.
1-13. Never use your ex.
Your ex may still have feelings for you. Asking for help or using their feelings to your advantage is in poor taste. If necessary you should be very specific about your intentions and do not let them think it is part of a reconciliation.
1-14. Dividing the responsibilities of child raising is expected.
You shouldn't feel that asking your ex to take on certain responsibilities is a favor but part of the team parenting approach.
Keep the communications open and communicate often about plans, events, appointments and finances regarding the children.
Do not confuse team parenting with walking all over your ex. If you do ask them to go out of their way for something that is your task you should consider it a favor and thank them appropriately.
1-15. Never assume.
Speak with your ex and mutually agree. Never expect and never make plans for them before discussing it first.
1-16. Never use guilt to get your way.
If they can't help you out, you should just move on to another option. Trying to make them feel guilty for not helping you can damage the friendly relationship. Just because you were a couple once doesn't mean they are required to help you.
1-17. Try not to hold a grudge if they can't help you.
Be understanding. Offer to help them with a project and perhaps you can develop a post break-up relationship that will allow you both to call on each other for a helping hand from time to time. If you want your ex to be in your support system you should take some initiative and make the first steps.
1-18. Doing a favor for an ex when they ask is one thing.
Try not to overstep your boundaries and participate too much, showing up unannounced or using it as an excuse to spend time around your ex. You should always call and make sure it's ok.
1-19. Limit emails and text messaging when trying to coordinate or communicate with your ex.
This is especially important when working out complex issues. Nuances are often missed in texting and emails. Pick up the phone, have a conversation and make sure everyone is informed. It will prevent misunderstandings and protect your cordial and sometimes fragile new relationship.
Tips
Ask your ex if it's ok if you call them from time to time for advice on tasks that were once theirs. An ex-husband may need help removing a stain on the carpet and an ex-wife may be clueless on plumbing issues. Asking for permission to call can be the first step in creating a cordial relationship.
Avoid asking for money. If you must you should also agree to specific terms to pay your ex back. Make sure you are comfortable with the terms and pay your ex back in the time agreed or sooner.
Remember that financial trouble is the number one reason for marital discord. Asking for money can ruin the cordial relationship you have with your ex.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand what requests are reasonable and what requests are not.\\nIf in doubt you should ask an unbiased third party before you may a request of your former spouse.\\nAsking an ex to take a look at repair project is one thing. Asking your ex to house sit while you and your new boy/girlfriend go away for the weekend may be cruel.\\n1-2. Be sensitive that feelings and pride may still be hurt following your split.\\nBefore you ask a favor ask yourself if the request could be insensitive in .\\n1-3. Avoid asking your ex for a favor that you would not ask from a very good friend.\\nIf you only ask favors when you absolutely need them and keep the favors reasonable and in good taste, you stand a better chance of getting help when you need it.\\n1-4. Asking for money may be contentious depending on the financial status of both parties and the terms of your divorce.\\nAn unexpected medical expense for a child is a reasonable financial request. Asking for money every week so you can buy jewelry is not reasonable for most people.\\nIf you must continually ask for money to feed your children it may be time to return to your attorney and seek help from the courts.\\n1-5. Try to give your ex as much notice as you can when asking for a favor.\\nBy giving them time to adjust their schedule, their budget or their mood you may have more success.\\nIf you're required to go out of town for work next month it is better to ask your ex to switch weekends now than the week of your trip.\\nDropping a financial bombshell on your ex may make them resentful. If you know your child needs dental work or new glasses, it's best to discuss it before hand with your ex and make a plan. Calling them the day of and asking for money could leave both of you upset.\\nBy asking for reasonable favors with a reasonable time frame you can keep your relationship more friendly. It also allows you some latitude should you ever have an emergency and really need their help.\\n1-6. Offer to return the favor and mean it, to pay them for gas, or do something nice for your ex when they do give you a helping hand.\\nMake sure they know you appreciate their assistance and that they can also call you for help when they need it.\\nIf your ex helps you cut down and put up the Christmas tree you can offer to wrap his presents for him, bake cookies for him to take to work or send him home with a gift card to his favorite store.\\nIf your ex wife picks you up when your car dies you should send her some flowers or maybe a gift card to a salon.\\n1-7. Never ask for a favor and then act entitled to the service.\\nRemember, you should treat them as a friend and not a servant.\\n1-8. Keep the lines of communication open.\\nDon't just call them when you need something. This doesn't mean just calling to chat since that could be strange, but you should definitely remember birthdays and holidays and send a card.\\n1-9. Say \\\"thank you\\\".\\nThey didn't have to help you, but they did.\\n1-10. Stay with the plan.\\nIf they go through the trouble of helping you out be on time to meet them, don't constantly change the time or place and do what you can to make it easier on them. If the plans must change, give them as much notice as possible.\\n1-11. Know when to ask someone other than your ex.\\nIf your ex makes you feel guilty, helpless or makes your life difficult you should look elsewhere for help. Start networking with other parents, co-workers, etc. Get a good support system and only call your ex when you absolutely must.\\n1-12. Return the favor when your ex asks one of you.\\nIt may be inconvenient, but if you want to keep your ex in your support system you should return the favor whenever possible and reasonable.\\n1-13. Never use your ex.\\nYour ex may still have feelings for you. Asking for help or using their feelings to your advantage is in poor taste. If necessary you should be very specific about your intentions and do not let them think it is part of a reconciliation.\\n1-14. Dividing the responsibilities of child raising is expected.\\nYou shouldn't feel that asking your ex to take on certain responsibilities is a favor but part of the team parenting approach.\\nKeep the communications open and communicate often about plans, events, appointments and finances regarding the children.\\nDo not confuse team parenting with walking all over your ex. If you do ask them to go out of their way for something that is your task you should consider it a favor and thank them appropriately.\\n1-15. Never assume.\\nSpeak with your ex and mutually agree. Never expect and never make plans for them before discussing it first.\\n1-16. Never use guilt to get your way.\\nIf they can't help you out, you should just move on to another option. Trying to make them feel guilty for not helping you can damage the friendly relationship. Just because you were a couple once doesn't mean they are required to help you.\\n1-17. Try not to hold a grudge if they can't help you.\\nBe understanding. Offer to help them with a project and perhaps you can develop a post break-up relationship that will allow you both to call on each other for a helping hand from time to time. If you want your ex to be in your support system you should take some initiative and make the first steps.\\n1-18. Doing a favor for an ex when they ask is one thing.\\nTry not to overstep your boundaries and participate too much, showing up unannounced or using it as an excuse to spend time around your ex. You should always call and make sure it's ok.\\n1-19. Limit emails and text messaging when trying to coordinate or communicate with your ex.\\nThis is especially important when working out complex issues. Nuances are often missed in texting and emails. Pick up the phone, have a conversation and make sure everyone is informed. It will prevent misunderstandings and protect your cordial and sometimes fragile new relationship.\\nTips\\nAsk your ex if it's ok if you call them from time to time for advice on tasks that were once theirs. An ex-husband may need help removing a stain on the carpet and an ex-wife may be clueless on plumbing issues. Asking for permission to call can be the first step in creating a cordial relationship.\\nAvoid asking for money. If you must you should also agree to specific terms to pay your ex back. Make sure you are comfortable with the terms and pay your ex back in the time agreed or sooner.\\nRemember that financial trouble is the number one reason for marital discord. Asking for money can ruin the cordial relationship you have with your ex.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Divorce or break-ups can be difficult for everyone. When you go in different directions it is sometimes very hard to continue without the occasional helping hand from your former spouse. Keep reading for tips to ask for help without damaging your cordial relationship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what requests are reasonable and what requests are not.\", \"描述\": \"If in doubt you should ask an unbiased third party before you may a request of your former spouse.\\nAsking an ex to take a look at repair project is one thing. Asking your ex to house sit while you and your new boy/girlfriend go away for the weekend may be cruel.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be sensitive that feelings and pride may still be hurt following your split.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask a favor ask yourself if the request could be insensitive in .\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid asking your ex for a favor that you would not ask from a very good friend.\", \"描述\": \"If you only ask favors when you absolutely need them and keep the favors reasonable and in good taste, you stand a better chance of getting help when you need it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Asking for money may be contentious depending on the financial status of both parties and the terms of your divorce.\", \"描述\": \"An unexpected medical expense for a child is a reasonable financial request. Asking for money every week so you can buy jewelry is not reasonable for most people.\\nIf you must continually ask for money to feed your children it may be time to return to your attorney and seek help from the courts.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to give your ex as much notice as you can when asking for a favor.\", \"描述\": \"By giving them time to adjust their schedule, their budget or their mood you may have more success.\\nIf you're required to go out of town for work next month it is better to ask your ex to switch weekends now than the week of your trip.\\nDropping a financial bombshell on your ex may make them resentful. If you know your child needs dental work or new glasses, it's best to discuss it before hand with your ex and make a plan. Calling them the day of and asking for money could leave both of you upset.\\nBy asking for reasonable favors with a reasonable time frame you can keep your relationship more friendly. It also allows you some latitude should you ever have an emergency and really need their help.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Offer to return the favor and mean it, to pay them for gas, or do something nice for your ex when they do give you a helping hand.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure they know you appreciate their assistance and that they can also call you for help when they need it.\\nIf your ex helps you cut down and put up the Christmas tree you can offer to wrap his presents for him, bake cookies for him to take to work or send him home with a gift card to his favorite store.\\nIf your ex wife picks you up when your car dies you should send her some flowers or maybe a gift card to a salon.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Never ask for a favor and then act entitled to the service.\", \"描述\": \"Remember, you should treat them as a friend and not a servant.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Keep the lines of communication open.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just call them when you need something. This doesn't mean just calling to chat since that could be strange, but you should definitely remember birthdays and holidays and send a card.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"thank you\\\".\", \"描述\": \"They didn't have to help you, but they did.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Stay with the plan.\", \"描述\": \"If they go through the trouble of helping you out be on time to meet them, don't constantly change the time or place and do what you can to make it easier on them. If the plans must change, give them as much notice as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Know when to ask someone other than your ex.\", \"描述\": \"If your ex makes you feel guilty, helpless or makes your life difficult you should look elsewhere for help. Start networking with other parents, co-workers, etc. Get a good support system and only call your ex when you absolutely must.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Return the favor when your ex asks one of you.\", \"描述\": \"It may be inconvenient, but if you want to keep your ex in your support system you should return the favor whenever possible and reasonable.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Never use your ex.\", \"描述\": \"Your ex may still have feelings for you. Asking for help or using their feelings to your advantage is in poor taste. If necessary you should be very specific about your intentions and do not let them think it is part of a reconciliation.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Dividing the responsibilities of child raising is expected.\", \"描述\": \"You shouldn't feel that asking your ex to take on certain responsibilities is a favor but part of the team parenting approach.\\nKeep the communications open and communicate often about plans, events, appointments and finances regarding the children.\\nDo not confuse team parenting with walking all over your ex. If you do ask them to go out of their way for something that is your task you should consider it a favor and thank them appropriately.\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Never assume.\", \"描述\": \"Speak with your ex and mutually agree. Never expect and never make plans for them before discussing it first.\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Never use guilt to get your way.\", \"描述\": \"If they can't help you out, you should just move on to another option. Trying to make them feel guilty for not helping you can damage the friendly relationship. Just because you were a couple once doesn't mean they are required to help you.\"}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Try not to hold a grudge if they can't help you.\", \"描述\": \"Be understanding. Offer to help them with a project and perhaps you can develop a post break-up relationship that will allow you both to call on each other for a helping hand from time to time. If you want your ex to be in your support system you should take some initiative and make the first steps.\"}, {\"编号\": 18, \"标题\": \"Doing a favor for an ex when they ask is one thing.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to overstep your boundaries and participate too much, showing up unannounced or using it as an excuse to spend time around your ex. You should always call and make sure it's ok.\"}, {\"编号\": 19, \"标题\": \"Limit emails and text messaging when trying to coordinate or communicate with your ex.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important when working out complex issues. Nuances are often missed in texting and emails. Pick up the phone, have a conversation and make sure everyone is informed. It will prevent misunderstandings and protect your cordial and sometimes fragile new relationship.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Ask your ex if it's ok if you call them from time to time for advice on tasks that were once theirs. An ex-husband may need help removing a stain on the carpet and an ex-wife may be clueless on plumbing issues. Asking for permission to call can be the first step in creating a cordial relationship.\\n\", \"Avoid asking for money. If you must you should also agree to specific terms to pay your ex back. Make sure you are comfortable with the terms and pay your ex back in the time agreed or sooner.\\n\", \"Remember that financial trouble is the number one reason for marital discord. Asking for money can ruin the cordial relationship you have with your ex.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,506 | How to Ask Your Family for Money | 1. Getting Ready to Ask for Money from Family
1-1. Get your finances in order before asking anyone for money.
Sit down and analyze your money habits. Pay attention to your bills and how much you’re spending in a month. Find ways to cut back on expenses and earn more money. Start a personal budget to keep yourself on track each month.
You’ll need to know as much as possible about your financial situation to present a compelling case to your family.
For example, if you see that you’re wasting too much money on dining at restaurants, resolve to cook at home using cheap ingredients.
1-2. Ask people that you trust for a loan.
Most people go to mom or dad first for money. If you have a solid relationship with them, great! You and the family member you ask need to trust each other thoroughly and feel free to communicate openly. Asking a distant cousin wouldn’t be appropriate unless the 2 of you have this kind of relationship.
The more trust there is in your relationship with the other person, the more likely they’ll be to give you a loan.
You can write a letter or talk on the phone, but having a face to face conversation is more effective.
1-3. Avoid asking people who aren’t financially secure.
Take the time to think about the other person’s financial situation. Asking someone who isn’t financially stable, isn't in a steady job, or has significant medical bills will seem disrespectful. Try not to pressure someone who is already under a lot of pressure themselves.
Your best friend may be the person you trust most, but they aren’t the person to ask when they’re also struggling to pay bills.
2. Setting up the Loan
2-1. Discuss why you need the loan.
Tell the person you need to have a serious discussion with them. Take some time in a quiet environment to explain exactly what you need the money for. Honesty ensures that trust and communication stay strong even if your family is reluctant to lend money.
For example, say, “I had to make a big payment on my school loan and I don’t have enough left to pay my rent this month.”
2-2. Ask the person for the exact amount you need.
It helps to bring along a copy of the expense, such as a bill or rent contract if it’s available. While asking for more than you need is inappropriate, asking for a second loan because you borrowed too little makes you seem irresponsible.
For example, say, “I’d like to borrow $20 to go to the concert this weekend.”
2-3. Create a spending budget for large loans.
When you need to borrow a lot of money to pay several bills or a business loan, take time to describe how you’ll allocate the money. Writing out a clear and concise plan can convince the person that you’re responsible. This is also a great way to double-check that your personal finances are in order.
For example, the budget might say, “$200 for the electrical bill, $100 for groceries, and $50 for transportation.”
2-4. Explain how long you’ll need to pay the money back.
Assess your personal budget or business plan to figure out a time estimate. This depends on the size of the loan and how much money you have available every month. You may need to go back to your budget and cut costs to repay the debt as soon as possible.
For instance, a little bit of money to cover dinner might be paid back within a week, but a large business loan can take months or years.
Asking for money should be treated as asking for a business loan no matter the size of the loan nor how close you are to the other person.
2-5. Work out a repayment plan.
Discuss how often you’ll be required to pay back some of the money. If you’re borrowing a large amount, you probably won’t be able to pay it all back immediately. Work with your family to establish a basic minimum you’ll pay during a set time period, such as every month.
Establishing a plan keeps you on track. You’ll never forget to repay the loan or include it in your budget.
Get creative! Family members may also count odd jobs such as mowing the lawn as part of your repayment. It doesn’t hurt to ask.
2-6. Offer to pay some interest.
Remember that the other person is taking a risk instead of using this money as they please. Think of how much interest they’d get from keeping the money in the bank for a month. Come up with a low-interest rate such as 1-2%, and add it to what you owe every month.
The interest is a positive way to show appreciation for your family member’s assistance.
2-7. Come up with consequences for late payment.
Discuss what will happen when you don’t make a payment on time. This is up to you and your family. You might have them remind you of the loan or charge you extra next payment. Find something that motivates you to stay on track.
For example, you could owe your family a favor or chore, such as babysitting your little brother.
Establishing consequences show that you’re taking this seriously and can help facilitate open communication about what is otherwise a difficult issue.
2-8. Sign a promissory note.
You can go online and find sample templates to print. Write down the details you and your family discussed, then have everyone sign their names. This turns your request into a physical, binding agreement.
A physical copy is useful for making everyone feel comfortable and clearing up any confusion that might arise in the future.
2-9. Continue communicating with your family as you repay them.
Stay in contact with your family members. Call them up from time to time like you normally would to update them on how you’re doing. If there’s any trouble repaying the loan, mention that too. You may be able to skip a payment or work out an alternative payment plan.
Tips
Consider alternative ways to get money. You could take out a line of credit, a personal loan, sell things, or accept odd jobs around your neighborhood.
Avoid negotiating with your family. You’re asking for their money, so you have to play by their rules.
Unless the person states that the money is a gift, treat it as a loan to be paid back.
Warnings
Money is a sensitive subject for most people. Be prepared for problems in your relationships if you aren’t open honest about your situation.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Ready to Ask for Money from Family\\n1-1. Get your finances in order before asking anyone for money.\\nSit down and analyze your money habits. Pay attention to your bills and how much you’re spending in a month. Find ways to cut back on expenses and earn more money. Start a personal budget to keep yourself on track each month.\\nYou’ll need to know as much as possible about your financial situation to present a compelling case to your family.\\nFor example, if you see that you’re wasting too much money on dining at restaurants, resolve to cook at home using cheap ingredients.\\n1-2. Ask people that you trust for a loan.\\nMost people go to mom or dad first for money. If you have a solid relationship with them, great! You and the family member you ask need to trust each other thoroughly and feel free to communicate openly. Asking a distant cousin wouldn’t be appropriate unless the 2 of you have this kind of relationship.\\nThe more trust there is in your relationship with the other person, the more likely they’ll be to give you a loan.\\nYou can write a letter or talk on the phone, but having a face to face conversation is more effective.\\n1-3. Avoid asking people who aren’t financially secure.\\nTake the time to think about the other person’s financial situation. Asking someone who isn’t financially stable, isn't in a steady job, or has significant medical bills will seem disrespectful. Try not to pressure someone who is already under a lot of pressure themselves.\\nYour best friend may be the person you trust most, but they aren’t the person to ask when they’re also struggling to pay bills.\\n2. Setting up the Loan\\n2-1. Discuss why you need the loan.\\nTell the person you need to have a serious discussion with them. Take some time in a quiet environment to explain exactly what you need the money for. Honesty ensures that trust and communication stay strong even if your family is reluctant to lend money.\\nFor example, say, “I had to make a big payment on my school loan and I don’t have enough left to pay my rent this month.”\\n2-2. Ask the person for the exact amount you need.\\nIt helps to bring along a copy of the expense, such as a bill or rent contract if it’s available. While asking for more than you need is inappropriate, asking for a second loan because you borrowed too little makes you seem irresponsible.\\nFor example, say, “I’d like to borrow $20 to go to the concert this weekend.”\\n2-3. Create a spending budget for large loans.\\nWhen you need to borrow a lot of money to pay several bills or a business loan, take time to describe how you’ll allocate the money. Writing out a clear and concise plan can convince the person that you’re responsible. This is also a great way to double-check that your personal finances are in order.\\nFor example, the budget might say, “$200 for the electrical bill, $100 for groceries, and $50 for transportation.”\\n2-4. Explain how long you’ll need to pay the money back.\\nAssess your personal budget or business plan to figure out a time estimate. This depends on the size of the loan and how much money you have available every month. You may need to go back to your budget and cut costs to repay the debt as soon as possible.\\nFor instance, a little bit of money to cover dinner might be paid back within a week, but a large business loan can take months or years.\\nAsking for money should be treated as asking for a business loan no matter the size of the loan nor how close you are to the other person.\\n2-5. Work out a repayment plan.\\nDiscuss how often you’ll be required to pay back some of the money. If you’re borrowing a large amount, you probably won’t be able to pay it all back immediately. Work with your family to establish a basic minimum you’ll pay during a set time period, such as every month.\\nEstablishing a plan keeps you on track. You’ll never forget to repay the loan or include it in your budget.\\nGet creative! Family members may also count odd jobs such as mowing the lawn as part of your repayment. It doesn’t hurt to ask.\\n2-6. Offer to pay some interest.\\nRemember that the other person is taking a risk instead of using this money as they please. Think of how much interest they’d get from keeping the money in the bank for a month. Come up with a low-interest rate such as 1-2%, and add it to what you owe every month.\\nThe interest is a positive way to show appreciation for your family member’s assistance.\\n2-7. Come up with consequences for late payment.\\nDiscuss what will happen when you don’t make a payment on time. This is up to you and your family. You might have them remind you of the loan or charge you extra next payment. Find something that motivates you to stay on track.\\nFor example, you could owe your family a favor or chore, such as babysitting your little brother.\\nEstablishing consequences show that you’re taking this seriously and can help facilitate open communication about what is otherwise a difficult issue.\\n2-8. Sign a promissory note.\\nYou can go online and find sample templates to print. Write down the details you and your family discussed, then have everyone sign their names. This turns your request into a physical, binding agreement.\\nA physical copy is useful for making everyone feel comfortable and clearing up any confusion that might arise in the future.\\n2-9. Continue communicating with your family as you repay them.\\nStay in contact with your family members. Call them up from time to time like you normally would to update them on how you’re doing. If there’s any trouble repaying the loan, mention that too. You may be able to skip a payment or work out an alternative payment plan.\\nTips\\nConsider alternative ways to get money. You could take out a line of credit, a personal loan, sell things, or accept odd jobs around your neighborhood.\\nAvoid negotiating with your family. You’re asking for their money, so you have to play by their rules.\\nUnless the person states that the money is a gift, treat it as a loan to be paid back.\\nWarnings\\nMoney is a sensitive subject for most people. Be prepared for problems in your relationships if you aren’t open honest about your situation.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Family members are often the best choice for helping you with an unexpected expense. Asking will always feel a little awkward, but to make it easier, be honest about why you need the money. Sit down and have a serious discussion with your family about how much money you’ll need and how you’ll pay it back. Put the agreement in writing to make sure both you and your family feel comfortable and understand your situation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Ready to Ask for Money from Family\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get your finances in order before asking anyone for money.\", \"描述\": \"Sit down and analyze your money habits. Pay attention to your bills and how much you’re spending in a month. Find ways to cut back on expenses and earn more money. Start a personal budget to keep yourself on track each month.\\nYou’ll need to know as much as possible about your financial situation to present a compelling case to your family.\\nFor example, if you see that you’re wasting too much money on dining at restaurants, resolve to cook at home using cheap ingredients.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask people that you trust for a loan.\", \"描述\": \"Most people go to mom or dad first for money. If you have a solid relationship with them, great! You and the family member you ask need to trust each other thoroughly and feel free to communicate openly. Asking a distant cousin wouldn’t be appropriate unless the 2 of you have this kind of relationship.\\nThe more trust there is in your relationship with the other person, the more likely they’ll be to give you a loan.\\nYou can write a letter or talk on the phone, but having a face to face conversation is more effective.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid asking people who aren’t financially secure.\", \"描述\": \"Take the time to think about the other person’s financial situation. Asking someone who isn’t financially stable, isn't in a steady job, or has significant medical bills will seem disrespectful. Try not to pressure someone who is already under a lot of pressure themselves.\\nYour best friend may be the person you trust most, but they aren’t the person to ask when they’re also struggling to pay bills.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Setting up the Loan\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss why you need the loan.\", \"描述\": \"Tell the person you need to have a serious discussion with them. Take some time in a quiet environment to explain exactly what you need the money for. Honesty ensures that trust and communication stay strong even if your family is reluctant to lend money.\\nFor example, say, “I had to make a big payment on my school loan and I don’t have enough left to pay my rent this month.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask the person for the exact amount you need.\", \"描述\": \"It helps to bring along a copy of the expense, such as a bill or rent contract if it’s available. While asking for more than you need is inappropriate, asking for a second loan because you borrowed too little makes you seem irresponsible.\\nFor example, say, “I’d like to borrow $20 to go to the concert this weekend.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a spending budget for large loans.\", \"描述\": \"When you need to borrow a lot of money to pay several bills or a business loan, take time to describe how you’ll allocate the money. Writing out a clear and concise plan can convince the person that you’re responsible. This is also a great way to double-check that your personal finances are in order.\\nFor example, the budget might say, “$200 for the electrical bill, $100 for groceries, and $50 for transportation.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain how long you’ll need to pay the money back.\", \"描述\": \"Assess your personal budget or business plan to figure out a time estimate. This depends on the size of the loan and how much money you have available every month. You may need to go back to your budget and cut costs to repay the debt as soon as possible.\\nFor instance, a little bit of money to cover dinner might be paid back within a week, but a large business loan can take months or years.\\nAsking for money should be treated as asking for a business loan no matter the size of the loan nor how close you are to the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Work out a repayment plan.\", \"描述\": \"Discuss how often you’ll be required to pay back some of the money. If you’re borrowing a large amount, you probably won’t be able to pay it all back immediately. Work with your family to establish a basic minimum you’ll pay during a set time period, such as every month.\\nEstablishing a plan keeps you on track. You’ll never forget to repay the loan or include it in your budget.\\nGet creative! Family members may also count odd jobs such as mowing the lawn as part of your repayment. It doesn’t hurt to ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Offer to pay some interest.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that the other person is taking a risk instead of using this money as they please. Think of how much interest they’d get from keeping the money in the bank for a month. Come up with a low-interest rate such as 1-2%, and add it to what you owe every month.\\nThe interest is a positive way to show appreciation for your family member’s assistance.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Come up with consequences for late payment.\", \"描述\": \"Discuss what will happen when you don’t make a payment on time. This is up to you and your family. You might have them remind you of the loan or charge you extra next payment. Find something that motivates you to stay on track.\\nFor example, you could owe your family a favor or chore, such as babysitting your little brother.\\nEstablishing consequences show that you’re taking this seriously and can help facilitate open communication about what is otherwise a difficult issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Sign a promissory note.\", \"描述\": \"You can go online and find sample templates to print. Write down the details you and your family discussed, then have everyone sign their names. This turns your request into a physical, binding agreement.\\nA physical copy is useful for making everyone feel comfortable and clearing up any confusion that might arise in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Continue communicating with your family as you repay them.\", \"描述\": \"Stay in contact with your family members. Call them up from time to time like you normally would to update them on how you’re doing. If there’s any trouble repaying the loan, mention that too. You may be able to skip a payment or work out an alternative payment plan.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Consider alternative ways to get money. You could take out a line of credit, a personal loan, sell things, or accept odd jobs around your neighborhood.\\n\", \"Avoid negotiating with your family. You’re asking for their money, so you have to play by their rules.\\n\", \"Unless the person states that the money is a gift, treat it as a loan to be paid back.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Money is a sensitive subject for most people. Be prepared for problems in your relationships if you aren’t open honest about your situation.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,507 | How to Ask Your Friend to Pay Back the Money They Owe You | 1. Broaching the Subject of Repayment
1-1. Set up a meeting in person.
Invite them to chat over a coffee or lunch. Keep the situation casual, so your friend feels comfortable talking to you openly. You can email, call, or text, but people are more likely to fully understand this conversation, if you conduct it face-to-face where they can see your body language and facial expressions.
Make sure you're able to meet one-on-one. You don't want to embarrass your friend.
Send an email, text, or call and say something like, "Do you have some time to meet and talk this weekend?"
If you want to give them a heads up on what the conversation is about, you can say something like, "Can we meet up Friday to talk about that loan I gave you a few months ago?"
If you want to make sure your friend is comfortable, let them pick the location. Say something like, "I wanted to talk about that loan I gave you awhile back. Can we meet at your place or somewhere close by to talk about that this week?"
1-2. Remind them kindly.
In some cases, your friend really may have forgotten about the money owed to you. Start by reminding them about the loan. You can say something like, “I was happy to give you that money last month to help out, but I was hoping you could pay me back before my rent is due.” This reminds them that the money was given and acknowledges that the money was a loan, in case they had misinterpreted the loan as a gift.
1-3. Be direct.
If the gentle reminder doesn't produce an apology and offer of repayment, address the issue head on. Sometimes, phrasing your request for repayment as a question can soften the blow. Try saying something like, “Do you know when you'll be able to pay me back?”
Insist on a precise answer to your direct question. Responses like, “I hope to get it back to you in the next few months,” are not adequate.
If your friend avoids responding or responds vaguely, push them to set a deadline. You can say something like, “I'm understanding the next few months as meaning no later than three months from today. Can we agree to that?”
1-4. Avoid letting the loan go unpaid.
The longer you allow your friend to avoid payment, the less likely you are to have the loan repaid. Additionally, if you end up needing to take legal action, letting the loan go unpaid for significant periods of time beyond the original repayment date indicates to the court that you may not have expected repayment.
2. Getting the Loan Repaid
2-1. Tell them what you need the money for.
Oftentimes, people who rely on friends or family members to give them money may not be great at handling their personal finances. These people may selfishly think that having money for themselves is more important than repaying the loan. In these cases, it may be beneficial to let the person know why it's important that they pay you back soon.
Try saying something like, “I have to pay my property taxes next month, and I'm really depending on you repaying me to make that payment.”
You can even say something like, “My budget has been stretched pretty thin because of the loan I gave you, and repaying it would help me get back on track financially.”
Remember, you don't need an actual reason to want the money back. The loan should be repaid, but this is another way to improve your odds of getting your friend to pay you back without losing the friendship.
2-2. Ask them to repay some of the money.
If your friend is unable to pay the full amount owed to you, ask if they can pay some of the money to show they are serious about making a repayment effort. The more upfront and honest your friend is about their financial situation, the better able you will be to determine whether they can truly afford to pay you back, or if they need more time. Regardless of their financial situation, recouping some of your losses is always preferable to none.
You could say something like, "It would be helpful to me, if you could make a payment towards the loan today."
If you're worried your friend may truly be having trouble repaying the money, say something like, "I know you're still struggling, but is there a small amount you could pay me now?"
2-3. Set a deadline.
Sometimes, people simply work better with a timeline. Let your friend know you'd really like to be fully repaid by a certain date. Be willing to extend this if you can. You probably don't want to lose your friend over a personal loan, but if you really need the money paid back, setting a specific deadline may help.
Before your meeting, think through some possible payment plans you think may be feasible for your friend. Presenting these to your friend will take the pressure off them to come up with these ideas.
Say something like, "What amount would you be able to get by without each month?"
Try to help your friend figure out when they will be able to make payments by saying something like, "Do your bills come out at the first of the month or towards the end? You can pay me at the opposite time, to make repayment easier for you."
2-4. Create a repayment plan.
Schedule due dates and payment amounts, and ask your friend to honor the agreement. You can even request that they sign a formal document at this point, if you've already tried the other methods of getting repayment without effect. This can make it easier for friends to return your money, since they don't have to repay it all at one time.
Don't shy away from asking your friend to commit to a repayment plan or from asking them to sign a formal agreement, especially if you have loaned them an amount of money that is significant to you.
Start by saying something like, "This may be overkill, but I want to make sure we're both on the same page to repay this loan. I wrote up something to help us both stay on top of it."
Make sure your friend understands your initial document is just a suggestion, and walk through possible changes to make repayment easier. You may say something like, "I know you have a vacation planned for May, would it be helpful for you if we skipped this month?"
2-5. Deduct the value of services.
This may seem strange, but your friends are likely there for you when you need them. If the friend drove you to the airport, helped you with a home improvement project, or took care of your kids free of charge, consider deducting what you would have paid for the service from the amount they owe you. This is an especially good idea, if your friend really cannot afford to repay the loan.
In some cases, it may even be appropriate to ask the friend to perform services in lieu of payments. For instance, if you need to go out of town, you can say, “I'm leaving for a business trip, and will be gone for ten days. Could you water my plants and watch my dogs? I'll deduct $300 from what you owe me.”
If your friend is trying to pay you back, but struggling to financially, offer them the opportunity to help you instead. Say something like, “I really appreciate you trying to pay me back in the time we agreed upon, but would it be easier for you to watch my kids for me this weekend while I'm at a conference instead of paying me this month? I'd really appreciate the help.”
2-6. Decide what means more to you.
In extreme cases, you may have to choose between getting your money back or keeping your friend. This will likely be a difficult decision, but if you've put in effort to get repayment and your friend simply can't afford to pay you back, it might be time to think of the loan as a gift.
3. Taking Legal Action
3-1. Send a demand letter.
The first step in the process of legally recouping a loan is to write to the friend asking for repayment, and giving them a certain amount of time to come up with the money. You should talk to a lawyer prior to sending this letter, and have it notarized. The letter should also be sent by courier or through the mail using a signature tracking system, so you know and can prove your friend received it. Include as many specifics as possible in the letter.
The letter should detail the exact amount owed, length of delinquency in repaying the loan, other attempted methods to recoup the loss, and potential court dates if the money is not repaid.
For instance, your letter could say something like, “On December 3, 2015, I loaned Joe Smith $600 for his construction business. I asked for repayment by October 3, 2016. I have asked for repayment in person, in writing, and attempted to make a payment plan. Mr. Smith has been unresponsive. I am seeking legal action to recoup those losses, if I am not repaid by December, 3, 2016. At this time, we will schedule a court date to discuss the matter in the presence of legal counsel.”
If your friend responds to the letter and pays the debt in the aforementioned time frame, there's no need to continue legal action.
3-2. Look into online legal claims resources.
People Claim is one of the most popular tools, but there are a number of similar websites and even apps that make filing a claim to recoup a loan fast and simple.
These online legal resources typically offer free and paid services. In most cases, you'll be advised to attempt to complete your legal claim without paying for service and add on paid assistance from the legal team, if your initial claim is not effective.
Do your research into online or app based claims services. Most are reputable, but others are just out to take even more of your money without helping you recoup losses.
You can read online reviews, check with the Better Business Bureau, or look for information on the site about the lawyers who will be assisting you.
3-3. Gather your documents.
Before you go to court or even talk to a lawyer, have as much evidence as possible available. Keep receipts, bank transfers, bank statements, any written agreements you had for repayment, and any emails or letters you've shared with your friend. All of this information may be important to prove you are truly owed repayment. In legal cases, the burden of proof always lies with the prosecutor not the defendant, so keeping good records will make it easier to prove your legal right to repayment.
3-4. Know the statute of limitations.
The amount of time you have to recoup money from personal loans is different in every state. Do your research or ask your lawyer about any possible statutes of limitation before taking legal action.
3-5. Prove where the money came from.
One of the keys to claims ending successfully is proving that the money you lent was earned legally. This may seem silly, but it's actually one of the most common ways people get out of repaying personal loans. If you wrote a check for the loan, simply offering bank statements from the account is adequate to show where your deposits came from.
If you paid the person in cash, you may have more difficulty proving the loan ever happened or that you got the money from reputable sources.
If you can show a bank withdrawal for the amount on the date in question, this may be adequate.
3-6. Collect following the decision.
Even if you win a legal case, it's often difficult to enforce the agreement. Document every payment or missed payment, and return to court sooner rather than later. Simply avoiding court fines and legal fees may encourage your friend to make the payments they agreed to.
4. Lending Wisely
4-1. Ask your friend to sign an IOU.
Many people do this prior to lending money to ensure they are protected later, if the friend refuses to repay. This is a great way to start the lending relationship off on the right foot because the terms of the agreement are clear from the very beginning. An IOU can easily be changed down the line, if your friend needs a little extra time for repayment. Starting with an IOU also makes it easier for you to take legal action later, if this step is necessary. Check out How to Write an IOU for more information.
4-2. Put the repayment plan in writing.
If you haven't asked your friend to sign an IOU prior to lending the money, you should still ask them to agree to a plan once they're able to start paying you back. Put this plan in writing and have it notarized. This makes it more legally binding, if you need to go to court later, and it will likely encourage your friend take the repayment more seriously.
4-3. Use apps to make repayment simple.
There are numerous apps available that make paying friends back any amount of money, from $50 for dinner to $50,000 for a small business loan, quick and easy. Use apps like Splitzee, Venmo, Square Cash, Splitwise, PayPal, or Google Wallet to simplify asking for and receiving money.
Splitzee, Splitwise, and Square Cash are your best options, when the money lending situation is for a shared expense. For instance, if you pay the monthly bills in your apartment and have roommates who pay you back.
Venmo, PayPal, and Google Wallet are better for large amounts of money. These applications allow you to send bills and reminders to your friend, and most of them have no fees, if you're simply transferring money from bank to bank.
4-4. Assess your friend before lending money.
Ask questions about why they haven't gone through more traditional channels (banks, credit cards, etc.) for financing. Try to find out whether their current hardship truly is temporary or if understanding finances is something the friend struggles with regularly. You may not want to lend money to a friend, if they are very unlikely to repay the loan.
Start by asking something as simple as, "Why are you asking me for a loan?"
It may be uncomfortable, but ask your friend, "Do you have a large amount of outstanding debt?" Before you lend them money, it's fair to expect them to be honest about their financial situation.
Ask if they can agree to a repayment timeline before lending, "I understand you're struggling financially now, but when do you think you'll be back on your feet?"
Perhaps most importantly, ask you friend what they're doing to get out of debt. Say something like, "What are you doing right now to change your financial situation? Can you get a second job or take on more hours at work?"
4-5. Avoid lending to friends you don't want to lose.
Despite your best efforts, you may still lose your friend, your money, or both if you lend to a friend. Before you get financially involved with your friend, make sure you're willing to lose them or the amount of money you've loaned them.
Warnings
If your friend is spending large amounts of your money on alcohol, drugs, or gambling, get them help. Your friend may have an addiction. If you help them kick their addiction, you are much more likely to recoup your loan, and most importantly, you're helping your friend lead a safe, healthy life.
Be prepared for a potentially negative response from your friend. Talking about money can be stressful, embarrassing, and difficult in the best of situations. When it comes to lending money to someone you're friends with, there's an added layer of concern. The potential negative response when you attempt to recoup your loan may lead to you losing your friend.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Broaching the Subject of Repayment\\n1-1. Set up a meeting in person.\\nInvite them to chat over a coffee or lunch. Keep the situation casual, so your friend feels comfortable talking to you openly. You can email, call, or text, but people are more likely to fully understand this conversation, if you conduct it face-to-face where they can see your body language and facial expressions.\\nMake sure you're able to meet one-on-one. You don't want to embarrass your friend.\\nSend an email, text, or call and say something like, \\\"Do you have some time to meet and talk this weekend?\\\"\\nIf you want to give them a heads up on what the conversation is about, you can say something like, \\\"Can we meet up Friday to talk about that loan I gave you a few months ago?\\\"\\nIf you want to make sure your friend is comfortable, let them pick the location. Say something like, \\\"I wanted to talk about that loan I gave you awhile back. Can we meet at your place or somewhere close by to talk about that this week?\\\"\\n1-2. Remind them kindly.\\nIn some cases, your friend really may have forgotten about the money owed to you. Start by reminding them about the loan. You can say something like, “I was happy to give you that money last month to help out, but I was hoping you could pay me back before my rent is due.” This reminds them that the money was given and acknowledges that the money was a loan, in case they had misinterpreted the loan as a gift.\\n1-3. Be direct.\\nIf the gentle reminder doesn't produce an apology and offer of repayment, address the issue head on. Sometimes, phrasing your request for repayment as a question can soften the blow. Try saying something like, “Do you know when you'll be able to pay me back?” \\nInsist on a precise answer to your direct question. Responses like, “I hope to get it back to you in the next few months,” are not adequate.\\nIf your friend avoids responding or responds vaguely, push them to set a deadline. You can say something like, “I'm understanding the next few months as meaning no later than three months from today. Can we agree to that?”\\n1-4. Avoid letting the loan go unpaid.\\nThe longer you allow your friend to avoid payment, the less likely you are to have the loan repaid. Additionally, if you end up needing to take legal action, letting the loan go unpaid for significant periods of time beyond the original repayment date indicates to the court that you may not have expected repayment.\\n2. Getting the Loan Repaid\\n2-1. Tell them what you need the money for.\\nOftentimes, people who rely on friends or family members to give them money may not be great at handling their personal finances. These people may selfishly think that having money for themselves is more important than repaying the loan. In these cases, it may be beneficial to let the person know why it's important that they pay you back soon.\\nTry saying something like, “I have to pay my property taxes next month, and I'm really depending on you repaying me to make that payment.”\\nYou can even say something like, “My budget has been stretched pretty thin because of the loan I gave you, and repaying it would help me get back on track financially.”\\nRemember, you don't need an actual reason to want the money back. The loan should be repaid, but this is another way to improve your odds of getting your friend to pay you back without losing the friendship.\\n2-2. Ask them to repay some of the money.\\nIf your friend is unable to pay the full amount owed to you, ask if they can pay some of the money to show they are serious about making a repayment effort. The more upfront and honest your friend is about their financial situation, the better able you will be to determine whether they can truly afford to pay you back, or if they need more time. Regardless of their financial situation, recouping some of your losses is always preferable to none.\\nYou could say something like, \\\"It would be helpful to me, if you could make a payment towards the loan today.\\\"\\nIf you're worried your friend may truly be having trouble repaying the money, say something like, \\\"I know you're still struggling, but is there a small amount you could pay me now?\\\"\\n2-3. Set a deadline.\\nSometimes, people simply work better with a timeline. Let your friend know you'd really like to be fully repaid by a certain date. Be willing to extend this if you can. You probably don't want to lose your friend over a personal loan, but if you really need the money paid back, setting a specific deadline may help.\\nBefore your meeting, think through some possible payment plans you think may be feasible for your friend. Presenting these to your friend will take the pressure off them to come up with these ideas.\\nSay something like, \\\"What amount would you be able to get by without each month?\\\"\\nTry to help your friend figure out when they will be able to make payments by saying something like, \\\"Do your bills come out at the first of the month or towards the end? You can pay me at the opposite time, to make repayment easier for you.\\\"\\n2-4. Create a repayment plan.\\nSchedule due dates and payment amounts, and ask your friend to honor the agreement. You can even request that they sign a formal document at this point, if you've already tried the other methods of getting repayment without effect. This can make it easier for friends to return your money, since they don't have to repay it all at one time.\\nDon't shy away from asking your friend to commit to a repayment plan or from asking them to sign a formal agreement, especially if you have loaned them an amount of money that is significant to you.\\nStart by saying something like, \\\"This may be overkill, but I want to make sure we're both on the same page to repay this loan. I wrote up something to help us both stay on top of it.\\\"\\nMake sure your friend understands your initial document is just a suggestion, and walk through possible changes to make repayment easier. You may say something like, \\\"I know you have a vacation planned for May, would it be helpful for you if we skipped this month?\\\"\\n2-5. Deduct the value of services.\\nThis may seem strange, but your friends are likely there for you when you need them. If the friend drove you to the airport, helped you with a home improvement project, or took care of your kids free of charge, consider deducting what you would have paid for the service from the amount they owe you. This is an especially good idea, if your friend really cannot afford to repay the loan.\\nIn some cases, it may even be appropriate to ask the friend to perform services in lieu of payments. For instance, if you need to go out of town, you can say, “I'm leaving for a business trip, and will be gone for ten days. Could you water my plants and watch my dogs? I'll deduct $300 from what you owe me.”\\nIf your friend is trying to pay you back, but struggling to financially, offer them the opportunity to help you instead. Say something like, “I really appreciate you trying to pay me back in the time we agreed upon, but would it be easier for you to watch my kids for me this weekend while I'm at a conference instead of paying me this month? I'd really appreciate the help.”\\n2-6. Decide what means more to you.\\nIn extreme cases, you may have to choose between getting your money back or keeping your friend. This will likely be a difficult decision, but if you've put in effort to get repayment and your friend simply can't afford to pay you back, it might be time to think of the loan as a gift.\\n3. Taking Legal Action\\n3-1. Send a demand letter.\\nThe first step in the process of legally recouping a loan is to write to the friend asking for repayment, and giving them a certain amount of time to come up with the money. You should talk to a lawyer prior to sending this letter, and have it notarized. The letter should also be sent by courier or through the mail using a signature tracking system, so you know and can prove your friend received it. Include as many specifics as possible in the letter.\\nThe letter should detail the exact amount owed, length of delinquency in repaying the loan, other attempted methods to recoup the loss, and potential court dates if the money is not repaid.\\nFor instance, your letter could say something like, “On December 3, 2015, I loaned Joe Smith $600 for his construction business. I asked for repayment by October 3, 2016. I have asked for repayment in person, in writing, and attempted to make a payment plan. Mr. Smith has been unresponsive. I am seeking legal action to recoup those losses, if I am not repaid by December, 3, 2016. At this time, we will schedule a court date to discuss the matter in the presence of legal counsel.”\\nIf your friend responds to the letter and pays the debt in the aforementioned time frame, there's no need to continue legal action.\\n3-2. Look into online legal claims resources.\\nPeople Claim is one of the most popular tools, but there are a number of similar websites and even apps that make filing a claim to recoup a loan fast and simple.\\n These online legal resources typically offer free and paid services. In most cases, you'll be advised to attempt to complete your legal claim without paying for service and add on paid assistance from the legal team, if your initial claim is not effective.\\nDo your research into online or app based claims services. Most are reputable, but others are just out to take even more of your money without helping you recoup losses.\\nYou can read online reviews, check with the Better Business Bureau, or look for information on the site about the lawyers who will be assisting you.\\n3-3. Gather your documents.\\nBefore you go to court or even talk to a lawyer, have as much evidence as possible available. Keep receipts, bank transfers, bank statements, any written agreements you had for repayment, and any emails or letters you've shared with your friend. All of this information may be important to prove you are truly owed repayment. In legal cases, the burden of proof always lies with the prosecutor not the defendant, so keeping good records will make it easier to prove your legal right to repayment.\\n3-4. Know the statute of limitations.\\nThe amount of time you have to recoup money from personal loans is different in every state. Do your research or ask your lawyer about any possible statutes of limitation before taking legal action.\\n3-5. Prove where the money came from.\\nOne of the keys to claims ending successfully is proving that the money you lent was earned legally. This may seem silly, but it's actually one of the most common ways people get out of repaying personal loans. If you wrote a check for the loan, simply offering bank statements from the account is adequate to show where your deposits came from.\\nIf you paid the person in cash, you may have more difficulty proving the loan ever happened or that you got the money from reputable sources.\\nIf you can show a bank withdrawal for the amount on the date in question, this may be adequate.\\n3-6. Collect following the decision.\\nEven if you win a legal case, it's often difficult to enforce the agreement. Document every payment or missed payment, and return to court sooner rather than later. Simply avoiding court fines and legal fees may encourage your friend to make the payments they agreed to.\\n4. Lending Wisely\\n4-1. Ask your friend to sign an IOU.\\nMany people do this prior to lending money to ensure they are protected later, if the friend refuses to repay. This is a great way to start the lending relationship off on the right foot because the terms of the agreement are clear from the very beginning. An IOU can easily be changed down the line, if your friend needs a little extra time for repayment. Starting with an IOU also makes it easier for you to take legal action later, if this step is necessary. Check out How to Write an IOU for more information.\\n4-2. Put the repayment plan in writing.\\nIf you haven't asked your friend to sign an IOU prior to lending the money, you should still ask them to agree to a plan once they're able to start paying you back. Put this plan in writing and have it notarized. This makes it more legally binding, if you need to go to court later, and it will likely encourage your friend take the repayment more seriously.\\n4-3. Use apps to make repayment simple.\\nThere are numerous apps available that make paying friends back any amount of money, from $50 for dinner to $50,000 for a small business loan, quick and easy. Use apps like Splitzee, Venmo, Square Cash, Splitwise, PayPal, or Google Wallet to simplify asking for and receiving money.\\nSplitzee, Splitwise, and Square Cash are your best options, when the money lending situation is for a shared expense. For instance, if you pay the monthly bills in your apartment and have roommates who pay you back.\\nVenmo, PayPal, and Google Wallet are better for large amounts of money. These applications allow you to send bills and reminders to your friend, and most of them have no fees, if you're simply transferring money from bank to bank.\\n4-4. Assess your friend before lending money.\\nAsk questions about why they haven't gone through more traditional channels (banks, credit cards, etc.) for financing. Try to find out whether their current hardship truly is temporary or if understanding finances is something the friend struggles with regularly. You may not want to lend money to a friend, if they are very unlikely to repay the loan. \\nStart by asking something as simple as, \\\"Why are you asking me for a loan?\\\"\\nIt may be uncomfortable, but ask your friend, \\\"Do you have a large amount of outstanding debt?\\\" Before you lend them money, it's fair to expect them to be honest about their financial situation.\\nAsk if they can agree to a repayment timeline before lending, \\\"I understand you're struggling financially now, but when do you think you'll be back on your feet?\\\"\\nPerhaps most importantly, ask you friend what they're doing to get out of debt. Say something like, \\\"What are you doing right now to change your financial situation? Can you get a second job or take on more hours at work?\\\"\\n4-5. Avoid lending to friends you don't want to lose.\\nDespite your best efforts, you may still lose your friend, your money, or both if you lend to a friend. Before you get financially involved with your friend, make sure you're willing to lose them or the amount of money you've loaned them.\\nWarnings\\nIf your friend is spending large amounts of your money on alcohol, drugs, or gambling, get them help. Your friend may have an addiction. If you help them kick their addiction, you are much more likely to recoup your loan, and most importantly, you're helping your friend lead a safe, healthy life.\\nBe prepared for a potentially negative response from your friend. Talking about money can be stressful, embarrassing, and difficult in the best of situations. When it comes to lending money to someone you're friends with, there's an added layer of concern. The potential negative response when you attempt to recoup your loan may lead to you losing your friend.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you've loaned money to a friend, asking them to repay you may seem like an awkward proposition. However, when handled properly, you can reclaim the money you loaned out without losing the friendship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Broaching the Subject of Repayment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set up a meeting in person.\", \"描述\": \"Invite them to chat over a coffee or lunch. Keep the situation casual, so your friend feels comfortable talking to you openly. You can email, call, or text, but people are more likely to fully understand this conversation, if you conduct it face-to-face where they can see your body language and facial expressions.\\nMake sure you're able to meet one-on-one. You don't want to embarrass your friend.\\nSend an email, text, or call and say something like, \\\"Do you have some time to meet and talk this weekend?\\\"\\nIf you want to give them a heads up on what the conversation is about, you can say something like, \\\"Can we meet up Friday to talk about that loan I gave you a few months ago?\\\"\\nIf you want to make sure your friend is comfortable, let them pick the location. Say something like, \\\"I wanted to talk about that loan I gave you awhile back. Can we meet at your place or somewhere close by to talk about that this week?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remind them kindly.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, your friend really may have forgotten about the money owed to you. Start by reminding them about the loan. You can say something like, “I was happy to give you that money last month to help out, but I was hoping you could pay me back before my rent is due.” This reminds them that the money was given and acknowledges that the money was a loan, in case they had misinterpreted the loan as a gift.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be direct.\", \"描述\": \"If the gentle reminder doesn't produce an apology and offer of repayment, address the issue head on. Sometimes, phrasing your request for repayment as a question can soften the blow. Try saying something like, “Do you know when you'll be able to pay me back?” \\nInsist on a precise answer to your direct question. Responses like, “I hope to get it back to you in the next few months,” are not adequate.\\nIf your friend avoids responding or responds vaguely, push them to set a deadline. You can say something like, “I'm understanding the next few months as meaning no later than three months from today. Can we agree to that?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid letting the loan go unpaid.\", \"描述\": \"The longer you allow your friend to avoid payment, the less likely you are to have the loan repaid. Additionally, if you end up needing to take legal action, letting the loan go unpaid for significant periods of time beyond the original repayment date indicates to the court that you may not have expected repayment.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting the Loan Repaid\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell them what you need the money for.\", \"描述\": \"Oftentimes, people who rely on friends or family members to give them money may not be great at handling their personal finances. These people may selfishly think that having money for themselves is more important than repaying the loan. In these cases, it may be beneficial to let the person know why it's important that they pay you back soon.\\nTry saying something like, “I have to pay my property taxes next month, and I'm really depending on you repaying me to make that payment.”\\nYou can even say something like, “My budget has been stretched pretty thin because of the loan I gave you, and repaying it would help me get back on track financially.”\\nRemember, you don't need an actual reason to want the money back. The loan should be repaid, but this is another way to improve your odds of getting your friend to pay you back without losing the friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask them to repay some of the money.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is unable to pay the full amount owed to you, ask if they can pay some of the money to show they are serious about making a repayment effort. The more upfront and honest your friend is about their financial situation, the better able you will be to determine whether they can truly afford to pay you back, or if they need more time. Regardless of their financial situation, recouping some of your losses is always preferable to none.\\nYou could say something like, \\\"It would be helpful to me, if you could make a payment towards the loan today.\\\"\\nIf you're worried your friend may truly be having trouble repaying the money, say something like, \\\"I know you're still struggling, but is there a small amount you could pay me now?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set a deadline.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, people simply work better with a timeline. Let your friend know you'd really like to be fully repaid by a certain date. Be willing to extend this if you can. You probably don't want to lose your friend over a personal loan, but if you really need the money paid back, setting a specific deadline may help.\\nBefore your meeting, think through some possible payment plans you think may be feasible for your friend. Presenting these to your friend will take the pressure off them to come up with these ideas.\\nSay something like, \\\"What amount would you be able to get by without each month?\\\"\\nTry to help your friend figure out when they will be able to make payments by saying something like, \\\"Do your bills come out at the first of the month or towards the end? You can pay me at the opposite time, to make repayment easier for you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a repayment plan.\", \"描述\": \"Schedule due dates and payment amounts, and ask your friend to honor the agreement. You can even request that they sign a formal document at this point, if you've already tried the other methods of getting repayment without effect. This can make it easier for friends to return your money, since they don't have to repay it all at one time.\\nDon't shy away from asking your friend to commit to a repayment plan or from asking them to sign a formal agreement, especially if you have loaned them an amount of money that is significant to you.\\nStart by saying something like, \\\"This may be overkill, but I want to make sure we're both on the same page to repay this loan. I wrote up something to help us both stay on top of it.\\\"\\nMake sure your friend understands your initial document is just a suggestion, and walk through possible changes to make repayment easier. You may say something like, \\\"I know you have a vacation planned for May, would it be helpful for you if we skipped this month?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Deduct the value of services.\", \"描述\": \"This may seem strange, but your friends are likely there for you when you need them. If the friend drove you to the airport, helped you with a home improvement project, or took care of your kids free of charge, consider deducting what you would have paid for the service from the amount they owe you. This is an especially good idea, if your friend really cannot afford to repay the loan.\\nIn some cases, it may even be appropriate to ask the friend to perform services in lieu of payments. For instance, if you need to go out of town, you can say, “I'm leaving for a business trip, and will be gone for ten days. Could you water my plants and watch my dogs? I'll deduct $300 from what you owe me.”\\nIf your friend is trying to pay you back, but struggling to financially, offer them the opportunity to help you instead. Say something like, “I really appreciate you trying to pay me back in the time we agreed upon, but would it be easier for you to watch my kids for me this weekend while I'm at a conference instead of paying me this month? I'd really appreciate the help.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Decide what means more to you.\", \"描述\": \"In extreme cases, you may have to choose between getting your money back or keeping your friend. This will likely be a difficult decision, but if you've put in effort to get repayment and your friend simply can't afford to pay you back, it might be time to think of the loan as a gift.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Taking Legal Action\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send a demand letter.\", \"描述\": \"The first step in the process of legally recouping a loan is to write to the friend asking for repayment, and giving them a certain amount of time to come up with the money. You should talk to a lawyer prior to sending this letter, and have it notarized. The letter should also be sent by courier or through the mail using a signature tracking system, so you know and can prove your friend received it. Include as many specifics as possible in the letter.\\nThe letter should detail the exact amount owed, length of delinquency in repaying the loan, other attempted methods to recoup the loss, and potential court dates if the money is not repaid.\\nFor instance, your letter could say something like, “On December 3, 2015, I loaned Joe Smith $600 for his construction business. I asked for repayment by October 3, 2016. I have asked for repayment in person, in writing, and attempted to make a payment plan. Mr. Smith has been unresponsive. I am seeking legal action to recoup those losses, if I am not repaid by December, 3, 2016. At this time, we will schedule a court date to discuss the matter in the presence of legal counsel.”\\nIf your friend responds to the letter and pays the debt in the aforementioned time frame, there's no need to continue legal action.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look into online legal claims resources.\", \"描述\": \"People Claim is one of the most popular tools, but there are a number of similar websites and even apps that make filing a claim to recoup a loan fast and simple.\\n These online legal resources typically offer free and paid services. In most cases, you'll be advised to attempt to complete your legal claim without paying for service and add on paid assistance from the legal team, if your initial claim is not effective.\\nDo your research into online or app based claims services. Most are reputable, but others are just out to take even more of your money without helping you recoup losses.\\nYou can read online reviews, check with the Better Business Bureau, or look for information on the site about the lawyers who will be assisting you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gather your documents.\", \"描述\": \"Before you go to court or even talk to a lawyer, have as much evidence as possible available. Keep receipts, bank transfers, bank statements, any written agreements you had for repayment, and any emails or letters you've shared with your friend. All of this information may be important to prove you are truly owed repayment. In legal cases, the burden of proof always lies with the prosecutor not the defendant, so keeping good records will make it easier to prove your legal right to repayment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know the statute of limitations.\", \"描述\": \"The amount of time you have to recoup money from personal loans is different in every state. Do your research or ask your lawyer about any possible statutes of limitation before taking legal action.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prove where the money came from.\", \"描述\": \"One of the keys to claims ending successfully is proving that the money you lent was earned legally. This may seem silly, but it's actually one of the most common ways people get out of repaying personal loans. If you wrote a check for the loan, simply offering bank statements from the account is adequate to show where your deposits came from.\\nIf you paid the person in cash, you may have more difficulty proving the loan ever happened or that you got the money from reputable sources.\\nIf you can show a bank withdrawal for the amount on the date in question, this may be adequate.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Collect following the decision.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you win a legal case, it's often difficult to enforce the agreement. Document every payment or missed payment, and return to court sooner rather than later. Simply avoiding court fines and legal fees may encourage your friend to make the payments they agreed to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Lending Wisely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your friend to sign an IOU.\", \"描述\": \"Many people do this prior to lending money to ensure they are protected later, if the friend refuses to repay. This is a great way to start the lending relationship off on the right foot because the terms of the agreement are clear from the very beginning. An IOU can easily be changed down the line, if your friend needs a little extra time for repayment. Starting with an IOU also makes it easier for you to take legal action later, if this step is necessary. Check out How to Write an IOU for more information.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put the repayment plan in writing.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven't asked your friend to sign an IOU prior to lending the money, you should still ask them to agree to a plan once they're able to start paying you back. Put this plan in writing and have it notarized. This makes it more legally binding, if you need to go to court later, and it will likely encourage your friend take the repayment more seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use apps to make repayment simple.\", \"描述\": \"There are numerous apps available that make paying friends back any amount of money, from $50 for dinner to $50,000 for a small business loan, quick and easy. Use apps like Splitzee, Venmo, Square Cash, Splitwise, PayPal, or Google Wallet to simplify asking for and receiving money.\\nSplitzee, Splitwise, and Square Cash are your best options, when the money lending situation is for a shared expense. For instance, if you pay the monthly bills in your apartment and have roommates who pay you back.\\nVenmo, PayPal, and Google Wallet are better for large amounts of money. These applications allow you to send bills and reminders to your friend, and most of them have no fees, if you're simply transferring money from bank to bank.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Assess your friend before lending money.\", \"描述\": \"Ask questions about why they haven't gone through more traditional channels (banks, credit cards, etc.) for financing. Try to find out whether their current hardship truly is temporary or if understanding finances is something the friend struggles with regularly. You may not want to lend money to a friend, if they are very unlikely to repay the loan. \\nStart by asking something as simple as, \\\"Why are you asking me for a loan?\\\"\\nIt may be uncomfortable, but ask your friend, \\\"Do you have a large amount of outstanding debt?\\\" Before you lend them money, it's fair to expect them to be honest about their financial situation.\\nAsk if they can agree to a repayment timeline before lending, \\\"I understand you're struggling financially now, but when do you think you'll be back on your feet?\\\"\\nPerhaps most importantly, ask you friend what they're doing to get out of debt. Say something like, \\\"What are you doing right now to change your financial situation? Can you get a second job or take on more hours at work?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid lending to friends you don't want to lose.\", \"描述\": \"Despite your best efforts, you may still lose your friend, your money, or both if you lend to a friend. Before you get financially involved with your friend, make sure you're willing to lose them or the amount of money you've loaned them.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"If your friend is spending large amounts of your money on alcohol, drugs, or gambling, get them help. Your friend may have an addiction. If you help them kick their addiction, you are much more likely to recoup your loan, and most importantly, you're helping your friend lead a safe, healthy life.\\n\", \"Be prepared for a potentially negative response from your friend. Talking about money can be stressful, embarrassing, and difficult in the best of situations. When it comes to lending money to someone you're friends with, there's an added layer of concern. The potential negative response when you attempt to recoup your loan may lead to you losing your friend.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,508 | How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Their Daughter's Hand in Marriage | 1. Feeling It Out With Your Girlfriend
1-1. Find out about what her parents value.
Before you decide to ask your girlfriend's parents for their daughter's hand in marriage, consider what you know about them and if this is something that they will expect or even appreciate. This is an old tradition that some parents might see as essential, while others might not expect at all.
If you are unsure about whether or not your girlfriend's parents will appreciate this gesture, then try asking your girlfriend what she thinks. You could say something like, "Are your parents pretty traditional when it comes to marriage?" or "How did your parents get engaged?"
Conduct research into your her parents’ values if necessary. For instance, if your girlfriend’s parents are from India, you might need to investigate Indian marriage traditions to figure out whether or not asking a girl’s parents for her hand in marriage is a standard part of the marriage process. Use internet search engines and your local library to discover more about the specific cultural norms of your girlfriend’s parents.
1-2. Talk to your girlfriend about marriage.
Ask your girlfriend if she’d like to get married. This is different than proposing to your girlfriend. Inquire generally what she imagines in your shared future. Ask, for instance, “Where do you see us in three to five years?” If she brings up marriage, you can safely proceed with the process of asking for her hand from her parents.
If she does not immediately mention marriage, ask her specifically if she’d ever like to get married to you. For instance, you might ask, “Do you think we would be happy if we were married?” If she says yes, go forward with the process of asking her parents for her hand in marriage. If she is uninterested in marriage or unsure if she wants to marry you, don’t pressure her into it.
1-3. Evaluate when the best time for you to get married is.
Is now a good time for you two to get married? Are there any reasons you shouldn't? Think about it through your girlfriend's parents' eyes: would they want their daughter marrying you? If you have only known one another for a week, you may want to hold off on proposing marriage.
It is wise to date someone for at least two to three years before deciding to marry.
Think about your and your girlfriend’s financial situation. Not only will the actual wedding be very expensive (the average wedding costs over $26,000), but other things like wedding rings and the honeymoon can quickly sink your financial ship. While you will probably not get married immediately after being granted your girlfriend’s hand in marriage, you should have enough cash to cover everything when the marriage occurs (usually six to twelve months after proposing to her).
1-4. Know the answer ahead of time.
When you’re ready to ask your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage, you should already have some sense of what they think of you and your relationship with their daughter. Do they look favorably upon the relationship, or are they skeptical of it? Ask your girlfriend from time to time what they think of you. Ask her to be specific.
Does her father-in-law, for instance, have only mild reservations which would be leveled at any suitor? In this case, you can feel confident about receiving approval. On the other hand, does he have concrete, specific concerns about your ability to provide or remain committed to your girlfriend? In this case, wait until you’ve secured the trust of your girlfriend’s parents before asking them for her hand in marriage.
While it might seem like cheating, going into the situation with the answer a foregone conclusion is in fact the best way to ensure you don’t waste your time or that of your girlfriend’s parents.
2. Planning the Request
2-1. Identify why you’re going to ask your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage.
Before going forward with the process -- which can be difficult under some circumstances -- you should know the consequences of a “yes” or “no” answer from you girlfriend’s parents. There are two conditions under which you’d ask for your girlfriend’s parents to marry:
You might be asking for permission to marry. In other words, if your girlfriend’s parents say no to the marriage, she will obey their wishes and reject any marriage offer from you.
You might be asking for your girlfriend’s parents approval. This is distinct from the request for permission. Asking for approval of the marriage means that they support the marriage of you and your girlfriend. If denied, your girlfriend may or may not accept a marriage proposal. Even if she remains open to the possibility of marriage, you might not want to go forward with the process. If you do end up getting married, prepare for some awkward family get-togethers at the very least.
2-2. Meet your girlfriend’s parents before asking.
You should be comfortable around your girlfriend’s parents before asking them for permission to marry. They, likewise, will feel more comfortable granting approval to the marriage if you are not meeting them for the first time when asking their permission to marry their daughter.
If you have not had the opportunity to meet your girlfriend’s parents before deciding to ask them for her hand in marriage, wait until after you have to ask for their permission to marry.
2-3. Arrange a meeting with her parents.
When presenting them with news that their daughter might get married, it is important to meet them face-to-face. This demonstrates that you take seriously the notion of marriage and the proposal process. Ask them to meet you for a brief afternoon outing.
If they ask why you want to get together, then you could say something like, "I have something important that I want to talk to you about."
Do not call your girlfriend’s parents on the phone to express your intentions for marriage or ask them for permission over the phone, unless you have no other option. Asking in person is the best option.
Do not send an email or a letter asking her parents to grant permission to marry.
2-4. Choose the location in which to meet her parents.
You could choose to sit down with your girlfriend’s parents at their home, or you might choose to have a nice meal with them. Think about what her parents are like. Would they like to go to a simple eatery? A fine restaurant? Would they want to have a conversation about at the bowling alley or on the golf green?
If your girlfriend’s parents live far away, finding the right location to meet them can be difficult. In fact, however, the apparent challenge distance presents is actually an opportunity. Traveling a great distance with the specific intention of acquiring their approval for your marriage proposal signals to them that you are fully committed to marrying their daughter and will go to great lengths to do so.
In the case of parents who live a distance away, you could also consider timing the question with a family visit you and you girlfriend make together. In this case, just take your girlfriend’s parents aside privately before leaving them.
3. Talking to Your Girlfriend’s Parents
3-1. Plan what you're going to say.
Asking your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage can be nerve-wracking. If you are very nervous or afraid that you’ll forget what you want to say to her parents, it would be helpful to memorize and practice the speech beforehand. If you want a more natural conversation, or feel comfortable asking for your girlfriend’s hand in marriage, don’t prepare a speech. Whatever you do, try not to overthink it.
If you prepare a speech, practice reading it to a close friend. Solicit feedback to help you figure out how to best phrase what you want to say.
3-2. Consult your girlfriend’s primary parent.
If your girlfriend was raised by both parents, you should sit down with both of them. In the case of divorced parents, however, consult only your girlfriend’s primary parent. For instance, if your girlfriend grew up with her mom and rarely or never saw her father, do not feel obligated to ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. After her mother has agreed to the marriage, inform her father that you’ve asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage.
3-3. Begin by expressing how you feel for their daughter.
Be honest and sincere when offering your feelings. For instance, you might say, “She’s a wonderful woman who inspires me to be the best person I can be. She makes me laugh and always understands what I’m thinking.”
Think about why you love your girlfriend when crafting your explanation.
Don’t exaggerate or say vague things like, “She’s perfect,” or “We never have any problems.” Conclude by informing them that they’ve raised a wonderful daughter.
3-4. Explain why you want to marry their daughter.
You have, in part, already done this by describing all the good qualities you see in their daughter. But in order to justify marriage, you have to express your undying commitment to their daughter. Tell them that you want to spend your life with her.
Say, “I pledge my whole heart to your daughter and will do everything in my power to provide for her the best life I can.” Then take a deep breath and ask directly, “I would like your approval to marry (your girlfriend’s name).”
Do not say, "I would like to marry your daughter.” A comedic parent might ruin the solemnity of the moment by asking “Which one?” if they have multiple daughters.
3-5. Prepare to answer questions.
After they’ve granted permission for the marriage, your future parents-in-law will have some obvious questions for you. They will likely want to know when you intend to pop the question on your girlfriend, and when you plan on having the wedding. They might have more practical concerns, too, like where you intend to live together or what your job will be (if you expect to change it). Listen carefully to what they have to say and don’t be afraid to say that you don’t have those answers yet. Don’t make up answers in order to appear as if you have everything all planned out when you don’t.
Tips
Remember that someone who really loves you will tell her family how happy you make her and demand that, at the very least, they be civil to you. If she allows them to ignore you or make veiled insults, you might want to reconsider the proposal.
Warnings
Don’t be too nervous. Show confidence. Some parents might be annoyed by a suitor who does not demonstrate courage in the face of a challenging situation.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Feeling It Out With Your Girlfriend\\n1-1. Find out about what her parents value.\\nBefore you decide to ask your girlfriend's parents for their daughter's hand in marriage, consider what you know about them and if this is something that they will expect or even appreciate. This is an old tradition that some parents might see as essential, while others might not expect at all.\\nIf you are unsure about whether or not your girlfriend's parents will appreciate this gesture, then try asking your girlfriend what she thinks. You could say something like, \\\"Are your parents pretty traditional when it comes to marriage?\\\" or \\\"How did your parents get engaged?\\\"\\nConduct research into your her parents’ values if necessary. For instance, if your girlfriend’s parents are from India, you might need to investigate Indian marriage traditions to figure out whether or not asking a girl’s parents for her hand in marriage is a standard part of the marriage process. Use internet search engines and your local library to discover more about the specific cultural norms of your girlfriend’s parents.\\n1-2. Talk to your girlfriend about marriage.\\nAsk your girlfriend if she’d like to get married. This is different than proposing to your girlfriend. Inquire generally what she imagines in your shared future. Ask, for instance, “Where do you see us in three to five years?” If she brings up marriage, you can safely proceed with the process of asking for her hand from her parents.\\nIf she does not immediately mention marriage, ask her specifically if she’d ever like to get married to you. For instance, you might ask, “Do you think we would be happy if we were married?” If she says yes, go forward with the process of asking her parents for her hand in marriage. If she is uninterested in marriage or unsure if she wants to marry you, don’t pressure her into it.\\n1-3. Evaluate when the best time for you to get married is.\\nIs now a good time for you two to get married? Are there any reasons you shouldn't? Think about it through your girlfriend's parents' eyes: would they want their daughter marrying you? If you have only known one another for a week, you may want to hold off on proposing marriage.\\nIt is wise to date someone for at least two to three years before deciding to marry.\\nThink about your and your girlfriend’s financial situation. Not only will the actual wedding be very expensive (the average wedding costs over $26,000), but other things like wedding rings and the honeymoon can quickly sink your financial ship. While you will probably not get married immediately after being granted your girlfriend’s hand in marriage, you should have enough cash to cover everything when the marriage occurs (usually six to twelve months after proposing to her).\\n1-4. Know the answer ahead of time.\\nWhen you’re ready to ask your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage, you should already have some sense of what they think of you and your relationship with their daughter. Do they look favorably upon the relationship, or are they skeptical of it? Ask your girlfriend from time to time what they think of you. Ask her to be specific.\\nDoes her father-in-law, for instance, have only mild reservations which would be leveled at any suitor? In this case, you can feel confident about receiving approval. On the other hand, does he have concrete, specific concerns about your ability to provide or remain committed to your girlfriend? In this case, wait until you’ve secured the trust of your girlfriend’s parents before asking them for her hand in marriage.\\nWhile it might seem like cheating, going into the situation with the answer a foregone conclusion is in fact the best way to ensure you don’t waste your time or that of your girlfriend’s parents.\\n2. Planning the Request\\n2-1. Identify why you’re going to ask your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage.\\nBefore going forward with the process -- which can be difficult under some circumstances -- you should know the consequences of a “yes” or “no” answer from you girlfriend’s parents. There are two conditions under which you’d ask for your girlfriend’s parents to marry:\\nYou might be asking for permission to marry. In other words, if your girlfriend’s parents say no to the marriage, she will obey their wishes and reject any marriage offer from you.\\nYou might be asking for your girlfriend’s parents approval. This is distinct from the request for permission. Asking for approval of the marriage means that they support the marriage of you and your girlfriend. If denied, your girlfriend may or may not accept a marriage proposal. Even if she remains open to the possibility of marriage, you might not want to go forward with the process. If you do end up getting married, prepare for some awkward family get-togethers at the very least.\\n2-2. Meet your girlfriend’s parents before asking.\\nYou should be comfortable around your girlfriend’s parents before asking them for permission to marry. They, likewise, will feel more comfortable granting approval to the marriage if you are not meeting them for the first time when asking their permission to marry their daughter.\\nIf you have not had the opportunity to meet your girlfriend’s parents before deciding to ask them for her hand in marriage, wait until after you have to ask for their permission to marry.\\n2-3. Arrange a meeting with her parents.\\nWhen presenting them with news that their daughter might get married, it is important to meet them face-to-face. This demonstrates that you take seriously the notion of marriage and the proposal process. Ask them to meet you for a brief afternoon outing.\\nIf they ask why you want to get together, then you could say something like, \\\"I have something important that I want to talk to you about.\\\"\\nDo not call your girlfriend’s parents on the phone to express your intentions for marriage or ask them for permission over the phone, unless you have no other option. Asking in person is the best option.\\nDo not send an email or a letter asking her parents to grant permission to marry.\\n2-4. Choose the location in which to meet her parents.\\nYou could choose to sit down with your girlfriend’s parents at their home, or you might choose to have a nice meal with them. Think about what her parents are like. Would they like to go to a simple eatery? A fine restaurant? Would they want to have a conversation about at the bowling alley or on the golf green?\\nIf your girlfriend’s parents live far away, finding the right location to meet them can be difficult. In fact, however, the apparent challenge distance presents is actually an opportunity. Traveling a great distance with the specific intention of acquiring their approval for your marriage proposal signals to them that you are fully committed to marrying their daughter and will go to great lengths to do so.\\nIn the case of parents who live a distance away, you could also consider timing the question with a family visit you and you girlfriend make together. In this case, just take your girlfriend’s parents aside privately before leaving them.\\n3. Talking to Your Girlfriend’s Parents\\n3-1. Plan what you're going to say.\\nAsking your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage can be nerve-wracking. If you are very nervous or afraid that you’ll forget what you want to say to her parents, it would be helpful to memorize and practice the speech beforehand. If you want a more natural conversation, or feel comfortable asking for your girlfriend’s hand in marriage, don’t prepare a speech. Whatever you do, try not to overthink it.\\nIf you prepare a speech, practice reading it to a close friend. Solicit feedback to help you figure out how to best phrase what you want to say.\\n3-2. Consult your girlfriend’s primary parent.\\nIf your girlfriend was raised by both parents, you should sit down with both of them. In the case of divorced parents, however, consult only your girlfriend’s primary parent. For instance, if your girlfriend grew up with her mom and rarely or never saw her father, do not feel obligated to ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. After her mother has agreed to the marriage, inform her father that you’ve asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage.\\n3-3. Begin by expressing how you feel for their daughter.\\nBe honest and sincere when offering your feelings. For instance, you might say, “She’s a wonderful woman who inspires me to be the best person I can be. She makes me laugh and always understands what I’m thinking.”\\nThink about why you love your girlfriend when crafting your explanation.\\nDon’t exaggerate or say vague things like, “She’s perfect,” or “We never have any problems.” Conclude by informing them that they’ve raised a wonderful daughter.\\n3-4. Explain why you want to marry their daughter.\\nYou have, in part, already done this by describing all the good qualities you see in their daughter. But in order to justify marriage, you have to express your undying commitment to their daughter. Tell them that you want to spend your life with her.\\nSay, “I pledge my whole heart to your daughter and will do everything in my power to provide for her the best life I can.” Then take a deep breath and ask directly, “I would like your approval to marry (your girlfriend’s name).”\\nDo not say, \\\"I would like to marry your daughter.” A comedic parent might ruin the solemnity of the moment by asking “Which one?” if they have multiple daughters.\\n3-5. Prepare to answer questions.\\nAfter they’ve granted permission for the marriage, your future parents-in-law will have some obvious questions for you. They will likely want to know when you intend to pop the question on your girlfriend, and when you plan on having the wedding. They might have more practical concerns, too, like where you intend to live together or what your job will be (if you expect to change it). Listen carefully to what they have to say and don’t be afraid to say that you don’t have those answers yet. Don’t make up answers in order to appear as if you have everything all planned out when you don’t.\\nTips\\nRemember that someone who really loves you will tell her family how happy you make her and demand that, at the very least, they be civil to you. If she allows them to ignore you or make veiled insults, you might want to reconsider the proposal.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t be too nervous. Show confidence. Some parents might be annoyed by a suitor who does not demonstrate courage in the face of a challenging situation.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Today, asking your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage is uncommon. However, certain families might expect you to ask before proposing marriage. Before asking your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage, make sure she is ready to marry. You should also ensure she won’t be insulted by you asking her parents for permission.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Feeling It Out With Your Girlfriend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out about what her parents value.\", \"描述\": \"Before you decide to ask your girlfriend's parents for their daughter's hand in marriage, consider what you know about them and if this is something that they will expect or even appreciate. This is an old tradition that some parents might see as essential, while others might not expect at all.\\nIf you are unsure about whether or not your girlfriend's parents will appreciate this gesture, then try asking your girlfriend what she thinks. You could say something like, \\\"Are your parents pretty traditional when it comes to marriage?\\\" or \\\"How did your parents get engaged?\\\"\\nConduct research into your her parents’ values if necessary. For instance, if your girlfriend’s parents are from India, you might need to investigate Indian marriage traditions to figure out whether or not asking a girl’s parents for her hand in marriage is a standard part of the marriage process. Use internet search engines and your local library to discover more about the specific cultural norms of your girlfriend’s parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to your girlfriend about marriage.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your girlfriend if she’d like to get married. This is different than proposing to your girlfriend. Inquire generally what she imagines in your shared future. Ask, for instance, “Where do you see us in three to five years?” If she brings up marriage, you can safely proceed with the process of asking for her hand from her parents.\\nIf she does not immediately mention marriage, ask her specifically if she’d ever like to get married to you. For instance, you might ask, “Do you think we would be happy if we were married?” If she says yes, go forward with the process of asking her parents for her hand in marriage. If she is uninterested in marriage or unsure if she wants to marry you, don’t pressure her into it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Evaluate when the best time for you to get married is.\", \"描述\": \"Is now a good time for you two to get married? Are there any reasons you shouldn't? Think about it through your girlfriend's parents' eyes: would they want their daughter marrying you? If you have only known one another for a week, you may want to hold off on proposing marriage.\\nIt is wise to date someone for at least two to three years before deciding to marry.\\nThink about your and your girlfriend’s financial situation. Not only will the actual wedding be very expensive (the average wedding costs over $26,000), but other things like wedding rings and the honeymoon can quickly sink your financial ship. While you will probably not get married immediately after being granted your girlfriend’s hand in marriage, you should have enough cash to cover everything when the marriage occurs (usually six to twelve months after proposing to her).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know the answer ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re ready to ask your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage, you should already have some sense of what they think of you and your relationship with their daughter. Do they look favorably upon the relationship, or are they skeptical of it? Ask your girlfriend from time to time what they think of you. Ask her to be specific.\\nDoes her father-in-law, for instance, have only mild reservations which would be leveled at any suitor? In this case, you can feel confident about receiving approval. On the other hand, does he have concrete, specific concerns about your ability to provide or remain committed to your girlfriend? In this case, wait until you’ve secured the trust of your girlfriend’s parents before asking them for her hand in marriage.\\nWhile it might seem like cheating, going into the situation with the answer a foregone conclusion is in fact the best way to ensure you don’t waste your time or that of your girlfriend’s parents.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Planning the Request\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify why you’re going to ask your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage.\", \"描述\": \"Before going forward with the process -- which can be difficult under some circumstances -- you should know the consequences of a “yes” or “no” answer from you girlfriend’s parents. There are two conditions under which you’d ask for your girlfriend’s parents to marry:\\nYou might be asking for permission to marry. In other words, if your girlfriend’s parents say no to the marriage, she will obey their wishes and reject any marriage offer from you.\\nYou might be asking for your girlfriend’s parents approval. This is distinct from the request for permission. Asking for approval of the marriage means that they support the marriage of you and your girlfriend. If denied, your girlfriend may or may not accept a marriage proposal. Even if she remains open to the possibility of marriage, you might not want to go forward with the process. If you do end up getting married, prepare for some awkward family get-togethers at the very least.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meet your girlfriend’s parents before asking.\", \"描述\": \"You should be comfortable around your girlfriend’s parents before asking them for permission to marry. They, likewise, will feel more comfortable granting approval to the marriage if you are not meeting them for the first time when asking their permission to marry their daughter.\\nIf you have not had the opportunity to meet your girlfriend’s parents before deciding to ask them for her hand in marriage, wait until after you have to ask for their permission to marry.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Arrange a meeting with her parents.\", \"描述\": \"When presenting them with news that their daughter might get married, it is important to meet them face-to-face. This demonstrates that you take seriously the notion of marriage and the proposal process. Ask them to meet you for a brief afternoon outing.\\nIf they ask why you want to get together, then you could say something like, \\\"I have something important that I want to talk to you about.\\\"\\nDo not call your girlfriend’s parents on the phone to express your intentions for marriage or ask them for permission over the phone, unless you have no other option. Asking in person is the best option.\\nDo not send an email or a letter asking her parents to grant permission to marry.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose the location in which to meet her parents.\", \"描述\": \"You could choose to sit down with your girlfriend’s parents at their home, or you might choose to have a nice meal with them. Think about what her parents are like. Would they like to go to a simple eatery? A fine restaurant? Would they want to have a conversation about at the bowling alley or on the golf green?\\nIf your girlfriend’s parents live far away, finding the right location to meet them can be difficult. In fact, however, the apparent challenge distance presents is actually an opportunity. Traveling a great distance with the specific intention of acquiring their approval for your marriage proposal signals to them that you are fully committed to marrying their daughter and will go to great lengths to do so.\\nIn the case of parents who live a distance away, you could also consider timing the question with a family visit you and you girlfriend make together. In this case, just take your girlfriend’s parents aside privately before leaving them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talking to Your Girlfriend’s Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan what you're going to say.\", \"描述\": \"Asking your girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage can be nerve-wracking. If you are very nervous or afraid that you’ll forget what you want to say to her parents, it would be helpful to memorize and practice the speech beforehand. If you want a more natural conversation, or feel comfortable asking for your girlfriend’s hand in marriage, don’t prepare a speech. Whatever you do, try not to overthink it.\\nIf you prepare a speech, practice reading it to a close friend. Solicit feedback to help you figure out how to best phrase what you want to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consult your girlfriend’s primary parent.\", \"描述\": \"If your girlfriend was raised by both parents, you should sit down with both of them. In the case of divorced parents, however, consult only your girlfriend’s primary parent. For instance, if your girlfriend grew up with her mom and rarely or never saw her father, do not feel obligated to ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. After her mother has agreed to the marriage, inform her father that you’ve asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Begin by expressing how you feel for their daughter.\", \"描述\": \"Be honest and sincere when offering your feelings. For instance, you might say, “She’s a wonderful woman who inspires me to be the best person I can be. She makes me laugh and always understands what I’m thinking.”\\nThink about why you love your girlfriend when crafting your explanation.\\nDon’t exaggerate or say vague things like, “She’s perfect,” or “We never have any problems.” Conclude by informing them that they’ve raised a wonderful daughter.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain why you want to marry their daughter.\", \"描述\": \"You have, in part, already done this by describing all the good qualities you see in their daughter. But in order to justify marriage, you have to express your undying commitment to their daughter. Tell them that you want to spend your life with her.\\nSay, “I pledge my whole heart to your daughter and will do everything in my power to provide for her the best life I can.” Then take a deep breath and ask directly, “I would like your approval to marry (your girlfriend’s name).”\\nDo not say, \\\"I would like to marry your daughter.” A comedic parent might ruin the solemnity of the moment by asking “Which one?” if they have multiple daughters.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prepare to answer questions.\", \"描述\": \"After they’ve granted permission for the marriage, your future parents-in-law will have some obvious questions for you. They will likely want to know when you intend to pop the question on your girlfriend, and when you plan on having the wedding. They might have more practical concerns, too, like where you intend to live together or what your job will be (if you expect to change it). Listen carefully to what they have to say and don’t be afraid to say that you don’t have those answers yet. Don’t make up answers in order to appear as if you have everything all planned out when you don’t.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that someone who really loves you will tell her family how happy you make her and demand that, at the very least, they be civil to you. If she allows them to ignore you or make veiled insults, you might want to reconsider the proposal.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t be too nervous. Show confidence. Some parents might be annoyed by a suitor who does not demonstrate courage in the face of a challenging situation.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,509 | How to Ask Your Girlfriend to Hold Hands | 1. Ask her to warm your hands up.
Take advantage of chilly weather with this cute move.
Rub your hands together and mention how cold they are. Then, give your girlfriend a smile and ask her to help you warm them up. Hold both hands out to her as you do this. Chances are, she'll put her hands onto yours to warm them up. When she does, it will be easy to shift to a hand holding position.
This probably won't work quite as well if it's hot out, but you could save it for when you head inside where there’s air conditioning!
2. Stay calm and confident.
Try to relax
It’s completely normal to feel a little nervous and anxious before you try to hold your girlfriend’s hand, especially if it’s for the first time. Try to think positively by imagining how great it’ll be to hold her hand. You can also try to take some deep breaths to calm your mind. Do whatever you can to relax yourself before you ask her.
3. Pay attention to her body language.
Look for signs that she’s interested in getting closer to you.
Positive body language, such as your girlfriend leaning in towards you or if she has relaxed, open arms is a good sign! If she’s leaning away or has her arms crossed, it could be a sign that she’s not interested in holding hands and you may want to back off.
Additionally, if her hands are closed into a fist and she keeps turning away from you, it may not be the best time to try to hold her hand.
4. Put your hand close to hers.
Brush knuckles with her or keep your hand next to hers.
If you’re walking together, try allowing your hand to get close enough to hers to gently touch it. If you’re sitting together somewhere, try placing your arm and hand as close as you can so it’s super easy for you to hold her hand when the time is right.
For instance, if you’re at the movies with your girlfriend, try placing your arm next to hers on the armrest so your hands are close together.
5. Ask her directly if you’re not sure how she feels.
It’s never a bad idea to make sure she’s okay with holding hands first.
If you really don’t know how your girlfriend is feeling or if your relationship is still pretty new, try asking her if it’s okay if you hold her hand. The worst thing that could happen is she’ll say no. But she’ll be grateful that you were kind enough to ask first. Here are a few different ways you can ask her:
"Can I hold your hand?”
"Do you want to hold my hand?"
"May I get the honor of holding your hand?"
"I want to hold your hand right now—is that alright?"
"My hand is lonely—can you hold it to keep it company?"
6. Take her hand if you’re feeling confident.
Go for it!
If the timing just seems right you can tell that she’s super into you, reach out and casually hold her hand. If she’s okay with it, she’ll keep holding your hand. If not, she’ll pull away.
If she does pull away, don’t force the issue. She may not be ready or feel comfortable just yet.
7. Try bumping into her and holding her hand if you’re shy.
If she’s interested, she’ll keep holding your hand.
If you’re feeling too nervous to ask her, try a more playful approach. If she doesn’t pull away, just keep holding her hand!
8. Offer her your arm first.
Make it a cute chivalrous gesture.
If you're walking with your girlfriend, confidently hold your arm out to her with your elbow bent. This will signal to her that she should put her hand on your arm. You can then place your opposite hand over hers, or just keep walking the way you are.
This sweet, romantic move might not be quite the same as hand-holding, but it will help the two of you break the touch barrier, so holding hands might feel easier later on.
If she gives you a confused look, it's fine to say something like, "I thought it would be cute if you put your hand on my arm, like in the movies!"
9. Come up with an excuse to check out her hand.
Pretend you're a palm reader or give her a small gift.
Any excuse will work. Confidently cup your hands in front of you and say, "Can I see your hands?" Gently hold her hands in yours and stare at her palms, examine her nail polish, or place something into her hand.
You could also ask her to hold her hand up to yours to compare the sizes.
After a moment, if you're feeling brave, slide your hand into hers and go back to talking normally.
10. Grab her hand during a scary movie.
Suspense is the perfect excuse for hand holding.
Queue up something spooky on Netflix or head to the theater for the latest horror flick. Either way, when things start to get really tense, it's the perfect time to reach over and give her hand a quick squeeze.
Not only do you get to hold your girlfriend's hand, but you'll seem super reassuring—bonus!
11. Lead her somewhere by the hand.
Pull her with you to something you're excited to see.
Okay, so maybe you're just using that new school bulletin board as an excuse to grab her hand. That's fine! Just slip your hand into hers and say something like "Let's go!" or "Come with me!"
When you get there, keep holding her hand unless she pulls it away.
12. Give her a hand massage as a coy lead-in.
Don't let go at the end.
Show off your amazing masseuse skills—it's okay if you're totally faking it—by giving her a gentle hand rub. Press lightly on the heel of her hand (the area under her thumb), then draw your thumbs across her palm from the base of her fingers toward her wrist or in circles. Eventually, slip your fingers into hers, and voila, you're holding hands!
13. Mix up your hand-holding technique to keep it interesting.
Change things up from time to time.
There’s nothing wrong with the classic technique of clasping your palms together, but you can try switching it up to something like interlocking fingers, using both hands to hold her hand, or even just holding onto 1 finger. Keep it casual and natural and just go with what feels good.
14. Use hand-holding to build a bond with your girlfriend.
It’s a great way to establish an emotional and physical connection.
While it may seem just like an innocent and cute way to tell someone you like them, some women actually prefer to express their feelings by holding hands instead of kissing. Whether you’re still getting to know your girlfriend, or you’ve been together for a long time, holding hands is a simple and effective way to build and strengthen your bond with her.
Even if you and your girlfriend aren’t feeling as emotionally connected as you once were, holding her hand can be a great way to try to rekindle your feelings for each other.
15. Don’t get upset if she rejects your attempt.
Accept her decision and respect her feelings.
If your girlfriend pulls her hand away or says no when you ask her to hold her hand, don’t get upset or angry. Definitely don’t try to hold her hand anyway. Calmly accept her decision. Who knows—she just may not be in the mood. She also may want to wait a little longer before she holds your hand. Whatever the case, don’t react negatively.
Tips
Some people have different views about things like holding hands. Try talking to your girlfriend to see how she feels about it.
Warnings
Always respect your girlfriend’s wishes when it comes to physical contact. Never try to touch her or hold her hand if she’s not okay with it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Ask her to warm your hands up.\\nTake advantage of chilly weather with this cute move.\\nRub your hands together and mention how cold they are. Then, give your girlfriend a smile and ask her to help you warm them up. Hold both hands out to her as you do this. Chances are, she'll put her hands onto yours to warm them up. When she does, it will be easy to shift to a hand holding position.\\nThis probably won't work quite as well if it's hot out, but you could save it for when you head inside where there’s air conditioning!\\n2. Stay calm and confident.\\nTry to relax\\nIt’s completely normal to feel a little nervous and anxious before you try to hold your girlfriend’s hand, especially if it’s for the first time. Try to think positively by imagining how great it’ll be to hold her hand. You can also try to take some deep breaths to calm your mind. Do whatever you can to relax yourself before you ask her.\\n3. Pay attention to her body language.\\nLook for signs that she’s interested in getting closer to you.\\nPositive body language, such as your girlfriend leaning in towards you or if she has relaxed, open arms is a good sign! If she’s leaning away or has her arms crossed, it could be a sign that she’s not interested in holding hands and you may want to back off.\\nAdditionally, if her hands are closed into a fist and she keeps turning away from you, it may not be the best time to try to hold her hand.\\n4. Put your hand close to hers.\\nBrush knuckles with her or keep your hand next to hers.\\nIf you’re walking together, try allowing your hand to get close enough to hers to gently touch it. If you’re sitting together somewhere, try placing your arm and hand as close as you can so it’s super easy for you to hold her hand when the time is right.\\nFor instance, if you’re at the movies with your girlfriend, try placing your arm next to hers on the armrest so your hands are close together.\\n5. Ask her directly if you’re not sure how she feels.\\nIt’s never a bad idea to make sure she’s okay with holding hands first.\\nIf you really don’t know how your girlfriend is feeling or if your relationship is still pretty new, try asking her if it’s okay if you hold her hand. The worst thing that could happen is she’ll say no. But she’ll be grateful that you were kind enough to ask first. Here are a few different ways you can ask her:\\n\\\"Can I hold your hand?”\\n\\\"Do you want to hold my hand?\\\"\\n\\\"May I get the honor of holding your hand?\\\"\\n\\\"I want to hold your hand right now—is that alright?\\\"\\n\\\"My hand is lonely—can you hold it to keep it company?\\\"\\n6. Take her hand if you’re feeling confident.\\nGo for it!\\nIf the timing just seems right you can tell that she’s super into you, reach out and casually hold her hand. If she’s okay with it, she’ll keep holding your hand. If not, she’ll pull away.\\nIf she does pull away, don’t force the issue. She may not be ready or feel comfortable just yet.\\n7. Try bumping into her and holding her hand if you’re shy.\\nIf she’s interested, she’ll keep holding your hand.\\nIf you’re feeling too nervous to ask her, try a more playful approach. If she doesn’t pull away, just keep holding her hand!\\n8. Offer her your arm first.\\nMake it a cute chivalrous gesture.\\nIf you're walking with your girlfriend, confidently hold your arm out to her with your elbow bent. This will signal to her that she should put her hand on your arm. You can then place your opposite hand over hers, or just keep walking the way you are.\\nThis sweet, romantic move might not be quite the same as hand-holding, but it will help the two of you break the touch barrier, so holding hands might feel easier later on.\\nIf she gives you a confused look, it's fine to say something like, \\\"I thought it would be cute if you put your hand on my arm, like in the movies!\\\"\\n9. Come up with an excuse to check out her hand.\\nPretend you're a palm reader or give her a small gift.\\nAny excuse will work. Confidently cup your hands in front of you and say, \\\"Can I see your hands?\\\" Gently hold her hands in yours and stare at her palms, examine her nail polish, or place something into her hand.\\nYou could also ask her to hold her hand up to yours to compare the sizes.\\nAfter a moment, if you're feeling brave, slide your hand into hers and go back to talking normally.\\n10. Grab her hand during a scary movie.\\nSuspense is the perfect excuse for hand holding.\\nQueue up something spooky on Netflix or head to the theater for the latest horror flick. Either way, when things start to get really tense, it's the perfect time to reach over and give her hand a quick squeeze.\\nNot only do you get to hold your girlfriend's hand, but you'll seem super reassuring—bonus!\\n11. Lead her somewhere by the hand.\\nPull her with you to something you're excited to see.\\nOkay, so maybe you're just using that new school bulletin board as an excuse to grab her hand. That's fine! Just slip your hand into hers and say something like \\\"Let's go!\\\" or \\\"Come with me!\\\"\\nWhen you get there, keep holding her hand unless she pulls it away.\\n12. Give her a hand massage as a coy lead-in.\\nDon't let go at the end.\\nShow off your amazing masseuse skills—it's okay if you're totally faking it—by giving her a gentle hand rub. Press lightly on the heel of her hand (the area under her thumb), then draw your thumbs across her palm from the base of her fingers toward her wrist or in circles. Eventually, slip your fingers into hers, and voila, you're holding hands!\\n13. Mix up your hand-holding technique to keep it interesting.\\nChange things up from time to time.\\nThere’s nothing wrong with the classic technique of clasping your palms together, but you can try switching it up to something like interlocking fingers, using both hands to hold her hand, or even just holding onto 1 finger. Keep it casual and natural and just go with what feels good.\\n14. Use hand-holding to build a bond with your girlfriend.\\nIt’s a great way to establish an emotional and physical connection.\\nWhile it may seem just like an innocent and cute way to tell someone you like them, some women actually prefer to express their feelings by holding hands instead of kissing. Whether you’re still getting to know your girlfriend, or you’ve been together for a long time, holding hands is a simple and effective way to build and strengthen your bond with her.\\nEven if you and your girlfriend aren’t feeling as emotionally connected as you once were, holding her hand can be a great way to try to rekindle your feelings for each other.\\n15. Don’t get upset if she rejects your attempt.\\nAccept her decision and respect her feelings.\\nIf your girlfriend pulls her hand away or says no when you ask her to hold her hand, don’t get upset or angry. Definitely don’t try to hold her hand anyway. Calmly accept her decision. Who knows—she just may not be in the mood. She also may want to wait a little longer before she holds your hand. Whatever the case, don’t react negatively.\\nTips\\nSome people have different views about things like holding hands. Try talking to your girlfriend to see how she feels about it.\\nWarnings\\nAlways respect your girlfriend’s wishes when it comes to physical contact. Never try to touch her or hold her hand if she’s not okay with it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Ah, love—sometimes just the thought of your girlfriend is enough to put butterflies in your stomach. If you’re thinking about asking her to hold hands, you may feel a little nervous. The good news is there are things you can do to ask her in a way that feels natural and makes her feel comfortable. To make it a little easier for you, we’ve put together a helpful list you can use when you do ask her to hold hands.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her to warm your hands up.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take advantage of chilly weather with this cute move.\", \"描述\": \"Rub your hands together and mention how cold they are. Then, give your girlfriend a smile and ask her to help you warm them up. Hold both hands out to her as you do this. Chances are, she'll put her hands onto yours to warm them up. When she does, it will be easy to shift to a hand holding position.\\nThis probably won't work quite as well if it's hot out, but you could save it for when you head inside where there’s air conditioning!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay calm and confident.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to relax\", \"描述\": \"It’s completely normal to feel a little nervous and anxious before you try to hold your girlfriend’s hand, especially if it’s for the first time. Try to think positively by imagining how great it’ll be to hold her hand. You can also try to take some deep breaths to calm your mind. Do whatever you can to relax yourself before you ask her.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to her body language.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for signs that she’s interested in getting closer to you.\", \"描述\": \"Positive body language, such as your girlfriend leaning in towards you or if she has relaxed, open arms is a good sign! If she’s leaning away or has her arms crossed, it could be a sign that she’s not interested in holding hands and you may want to back off.\\nAdditionally, if her hands are closed into a fist and she keeps turning away from you, it may not be the best time to try to hold her hand.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put your hand close to hers.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Brush knuckles with her or keep your hand next to hers.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re walking together, try allowing your hand to get close enough to hers to gently touch it. If you’re sitting together somewhere, try placing your arm and hand as close as you can so it’s super easy for you to hold her hand when the time is right.\\nFor instance, if you’re at the movies with your girlfriend, try placing your arm next to hers on the armrest so your hands are close together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask her directly if you’re not sure how she feels.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s never a bad idea to make sure she’s okay with holding hands first.\", \"描述\": \"If you really don’t know how your girlfriend is feeling or if your relationship is still pretty new, try asking her if it’s okay if you hold her hand. The worst thing that could happen is she’ll say no. But she’ll be grateful that you were kind enough to ask first. Here are a few different ways you can ask her:\\n\\\"Can I hold your hand?”\\n\\\"Do you want to hold my hand?\\\"\\n\\\"May I get the honor of holding your hand?\\\"\\n\\\"I want to hold your hand right now—is that alright?\\\"\\n\\\"My hand is lonely—can you hold it to keep it company?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take her hand if you’re feeling confident.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go for it!\", \"描述\": \"If the timing just seems right you can tell that she’s super into you, reach out and casually hold her hand. If she’s okay with it, she’ll keep holding your hand. If not, she’ll pull away.\\nIf she does pull away, don’t force the issue. She may not be ready or feel comfortable just yet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try bumping into her and holding her hand if you’re shy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If she’s interested, she’ll keep holding your hand.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re feeling too nervous to ask her, try a more playful approach. If she doesn’t pull away, just keep holding her hand!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Offer her your arm first.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make it a cute chivalrous gesture.\", \"描述\": \"If you're walking with your girlfriend, confidently hold your arm out to her with your elbow bent. This will signal to her that she should put her hand on your arm. You can then place your opposite hand over hers, or just keep walking the way you are.\\nThis sweet, romantic move might not be quite the same as hand-holding, but it will help the two of you break the touch barrier, so holding hands might feel easier later on.\\nIf she gives you a confused look, it's fine to say something like, \\\"I thought it would be cute if you put your hand on my arm, like in the movies!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Come up with an excuse to check out her hand.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pretend you're a palm reader or give her a small gift.\", \"描述\": \"Any excuse will work. Confidently cup your hands in front of you and say, \\\"Can I see your hands?\\\" Gently hold her hands in yours and stare at her palms, examine her nail polish, or place something into her hand.\\nYou could also ask her to hold her hand up to yours to compare the sizes.\\nAfter a moment, if you're feeling brave, slide your hand into hers and go back to talking normally.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Grab her hand during a scary movie.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Suspense is the perfect excuse for hand holding.\", \"描述\": \"Queue up something spooky on Netflix or head to the theater for the latest horror flick. Either way, when things start to get really tense, it's the perfect time to reach over and give her hand a quick squeeze.\\nNot only do you get to hold your girlfriend's hand, but you'll seem super reassuring—bonus!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Lead her somewhere by the hand.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pull her with you to something you're excited to see.\", \"描述\": \"Okay, so maybe you're just using that new school bulletin board as an excuse to grab her hand. That's fine! Just slip your hand into hers and say something like \\\"Let's go!\\\" or \\\"Come with me!\\\"\\nWhen you get there, keep holding her hand unless she pulls it away.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Give her a hand massage as a coy lead-in.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't let go at the end.\", \"描述\": \"Show off your amazing masseuse skills—it's okay if you're totally faking it—by giving her a gentle hand rub. Press lightly on the heel of her hand (the area under her thumb), then draw your thumbs across her palm from the base of her fingers toward her wrist or in circles. Eventually, slip your fingers into hers, and voila, you're holding hands!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Mix up your hand-holding technique to keep it interesting.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Change things up from time to time.\", \"描述\": \"There’s nothing wrong with the classic technique of clasping your palms together, but you can try switching it up to something like interlocking fingers, using both hands to hold her hand, or even just holding onto 1 finger. Keep it casual and natural and just go with what feels good.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Use hand-holding to build a bond with your girlfriend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a great way to establish an emotional and physical connection.\", \"描述\": \"While it may seem just like an innocent and cute way to tell someone you like them, some women actually prefer to express their feelings by holding hands instead of kissing. Whether you’re still getting to know your girlfriend, or you’ve been together for a long time, holding hands is a simple and effective way to build and strengthen your bond with her.\\nEven if you and your girlfriend aren’t feeling as emotionally connected as you once were, holding her hand can be a great way to try to rekindle your feelings for each other.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Don’t get upset if she rejects your attempt.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept her decision and respect her feelings.\", \"描述\": \"If your girlfriend pulls her hand away or says no when you ask her to hold her hand, don’t get upset or angry. Definitely don’t try to hold her hand anyway. Calmly accept her decision. Who knows—she just may not be in the mood. She also may want to wait a little longer before she holds your hand. Whatever the case, don’t react negatively.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Some people have different views about things like holding hands. Try talking to your girlfriend to see how she feels about it.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Always respect your girlfriend’s wishes when it comes to physical contact. Never try to touch her or hold her hand if she’s not okay with it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,510 | How to Ask Your Girlfriend to Stop Talking to a Guy | 1. Having the Conversation
1-1. Explain your feelings with "I"-statements.
As this is a delicate situation, phrasing things using "I"-statements can help reduce tension as you place the focus on your feelings. Begin with "I feel..." and state your feeling. Then, explain the behavior that led to that feeling and why you feel the way you do.
Don't come into the situation and say something like, "It's hurtful that you're so flirtatious with your ex and it makes me insecure." This can sound hostile.
Instead, calmly rephrase the above sentiment using an "I"-statement. For example, say, "I feel uncomfortable when you're very touchy and affectionate with your ex because it makes me feel like the two of you still have feelings for each other."
1-2. Be matter of fact.
After explaining your feelings, be direct and matter of fact about what you want. Remember, there is no guarantee she will be receptive. It's probably better to ask her to lessen contact or tone down interactions than demand she not talk to him at all.
Say something like, "I would feel more comfortable if the two of you didn't talk as much, or if you toned down some of the physical affection, especially in my presence."
1-3. Give her a chance to talk.
Asking your girlfriend to change her relationship with someone is a very sensitive topic. It's important your girlfriend has a chance to share how she feels as it is still her decision. After making your case, let her respond without interrupting her.
Give non-verbal cues to show you're listening, such as maintaining eye contact and nodding on occasion.
It can also help to paraphrase what she's said to make sure you understand. For example, say, "So, you feel like the relationship is still important because the two of you were friends before you dated. Is that what you're saying?"
1-4. Remain calm.
Yelling, making accusations, calling names, and being otherwise hostile is not going to help the situation. It can be hard to stay calm during a confrontation, but take some deep breaths. Remember, you're trying to improve your relationship and not start a fight.
1-5. Stay in the present.
You're talking about a situation that is occurring right now. You are not discussing the past or other issues, so do not bring these things up. This is likely to make your girlfriend feel judged and get defensive.
1-6. Be willing to compromise.
It's very unlikely your girlfriend will flat out agree to stop speaking to someone as in this you are asking them to break bonds with someone else and this can be a large thing to ask. Therefore, you need to be willing to compromise. Find a solution where you both get what you want to some degree.
For example, you could agree to let your girlfriend stay friends with her ex. She could agree to set firmer boundaries and be less physically affectionate with him. This could be a win-win situation for both of you!
2. Deciding If and How You Should Ask Her
2-1. Make sure you're being fair.
If you're worried about your girlfriend talking to a guy because he gives you bad vibes, it's appropriate to tell her so. However, if you're simply being jealous, it's not always a good idea to request your girlfriend stay away from a guy. This can easily backfire.
If you're feeling jealous, look at the situation from a rational perspective. Is your girlfriend really going to be receptive to you asking her to not talk to a guy simply because you're insecure? Probably not.
Think about if your jealousy is even related to the guy, or if it’s part of a bigger issue. For example, maybe your jealousy is actually a reaction to your girlfriend being busier than usual.
If jealousy is the main culprit, it's better to have a conversation about why you're feeling jealous and how the two of you can cope as a couple.
2-2. Put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes.
In any difficult conversation, empathy is key to successfully talking things out. Before you talk to your girlfriend, sit down and put yourself in her shoes. Try to imagine where she's coming from.
For example, maybe she talks to an ex-boyfriend and the two often seem flirtatious with each other. While this behavior may feel hurtful to you, perhaps your girlfriend sees it differently.
Think about how your girlfriend may see this situation. Is she generally affectionate with other friends, regardless of gender? If so, this may simply be how she acts with everyone. She may not see the relationship as a problem.
2-3. Write down your thoughts.
Take a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Jot down your thoughts and feelings on the situation. Then, read over the words you wrote down and think about how you could verbally express them. As it's often hard to express yourself during a stressful conversation, having some idea of what to say can help.
You should not write down what you want to say word for word. It's important to leave some room for flexibility. However, having a rough idea of how you'll phrase things can help.
2-4. Release any expectations you have.
If you go into a conversation with specific expectations, you may become frustrated or angry if things unfold differently. You cannot tell the future and you don't know how your girlfriend will react. Releasing expectations can help you go into the situation willing to listen and accept your girlfriend's reactions.
3. Overcoming Your Jealousy
3-1. Take responsibility for your feelings.
Unjustified jealousy is your problem and not your girlfriend's. If your girlfriend is not cheating on you or violating your boundaries, you're the one who needs to work on your jealousy. Own up to the fact you're being jealous and do not place the blame on external factors.
3-2. Remember your good qualities.
Jealousy often stems from low self esteem. When you're feeling jealous, remember the good things about yourself. Jot down a list of your best qualities to bring yourself up.
It can also help to remind yourself why your girlfriend wants to be with you. Does she say she loves your sense of humor or your kind personality? Keep this in mind, as it can curb feelings of jealousy.
3-3. Assess your jealousy.
Jealous people are often chronically insecure. They also may have issues from their past contributing to jealousy. Did you struggle to make attachments to caregivers early in life? Have you been cheated on before, or did one of your parents cheat on the other?
If there are major issues contributing to your jealousy, see a therapist to sort them out.
3-4. Manage your emotions in a healthier fashion.
Making demands of your girlfriend is not the best means to deal with your jealousy. When you feel jealous, find healthier ways to regulate your emotions.
When your thoughts start to get out of control, ground yourself in the present with mindfulness. Tune into your senses and notice the pattern of your breathing.
Try other stress reduction techniques as well. Journal, exercise, or watch a movie to get your mind off your thoughts.
3-5. Develop interests outside your relationship.
If your relationship is the only thing you have going for you, you're more likely to obsess over it. Build up relationships with friends and family members. Take up a hobby or join a club. This way, you'll have more to focus on than your girlfriend's relationship with other men.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Having the Conversation\\n1-1. Explain your feelings with \\\"I\\\"-statements.\\nAs this is a delicate situation, phrasing things using \\\"I\\\"-statements can help reduce tension as you place the focus on your feelings. Begin with \\\"I feel...\\\" and state your feeling. Then, explain the behavior that led to that feeling and why you feel the way you do.\\nDon't come into the situation and say something like, \\\"It's hurtful that you're so flirtatious with your ex and it makes me insecure.\\\" This can sound hostile.\\nInstead, calmly rephrase the above sentiment using an \\\"I\\\"-statement. For example, say, \\\"I feel uncomfortable when you're very touchy and affectionate with your ex because it makes me feel like the two of you still have feelings for each other.\\\"\\n1-2. Be matter of fact.\\nAfter explaining your feelings, be direct and matter of fact about what you want. Remember, there is no guarantee she will be receptive. It's probably better to ask her to lessen contact or tone down interactions than demand she not talk to him at all. \\nSay something like, \\\"I would feel more comfortable if the two of you didn't talk as much, or if you toned down some of the physical affection, especially in my presence.\\\"\\n1-3. Give her a chance to talk.\\nAsking your girlfriend to change her relationship with someone is a very sensitive topic. It's important your girlfriend has a chance to share how she feels as it is still her decision. After making your case, let her respond without interrupting her.\\nGive non-verbal cues to show you're listening, such as maintaining eye contact and nodding on occasion.\\nIt can also help to paraphrase what she's said to make sure you understand. For example, say, \\\"So, you feel like the relationship is still important because the two of you were friends before you dated. Is that what you're saying?\\\"\\n1-4. Remain calm.\\nYelling, making accusations, calling names, and being otherwise hostile is not going to help the situation. It can be hard to stay calm during a confrontation, but take some deep breaths. Remember, you're trying to improve your relationship and not start a fight.\\n1-5. Stay in the present.\\nYou're talking about a situation that is occurring right now. You are not discussing the past or other issues, so do not bring these things up. This is likely to make your girlfriend feel judged and get defensive.\\n1-6. Be willing to compromise.\\nIt's very unlikely your girlfriend will flat out agree to stop speaking to someone as in this you are asking them to break bonds with someone else and this can be a large thing to ask. Therefore, you need to be willing to compromise. Find a solution where you both get what you want to some degree.\\nFor example, you could agree to let your girlfriend stay friends with her ex. She could agree to set firmer boundaries and be less physically affectionate with him. This could be a win-win situation for both of you!\\n2. Deciding If and How You Should Ask Her\\n2-1. Make sure you're being fair.\\nIf you're worried about your girlfriend talking to a guy because he gives you bad vibes, it's appropriate to tell her so. However, if you're simply being jealous, it's not always a good idea to request your girlfriend stay away from a guy. This can easily backfire.\\nIf you're feeling jealous, look at the situation from a rational perspective. Is your girlfriend really going to be receptive to you asking her to not talk to a guy simply because you're insecure? Probably not.\\nThink about if your jealousy is even related to the guy, or if it’s part of a bigger issue. For example, maybe your jealousy is actually a reaction to your girlfriend being busier than usual.\\nIf jealousy is the main culprit, it's better to have a conversation about why you're feeling jealous and how the two of you can cope as a couple.\\n2-2. Put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes.\\nIn any difficult conversation, empathy is key to successfully talking things out. Before you talk to your girlfriend, sit down and put yourself in her shoes. Try to imagine where she's coming from. \\nFor example, maybe she talks to an ex-boyfriend and the two often seem flirtatious with each other. While this behavior may feel hurtful to you, perhaps your girlfriend sees it differently.\\nThink about how your girlfriend may see this situation. Is she generally affectionate with other friends, regardless of gender? If so, this may simply be how she acts with everyone. She may not see the relationship as a problem.\\n2-3. Write down your thoughts.\\nTake a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Jot down your thoughts and feelings on the situation. Then, read over the words you wrote down and think about how you could verbally express them. As it's often hard to express yourself during a stressful conversation, having some idea of what to say can help. \\nYou should not write down what you want to say word for word. It's important to leave some room for flexibility. However, having a rough idea of how you'll phrase things can help.\\n2-4. Release any expectations you have.\\nIf you go into a conversation with specific expectations, you may become frustrated or angry if things unfold differently. You cannot tell the future and you don't know how your girlfriend will react. Releasing expectations can help you go into the situation willing to listen and accept your girlfriend's reactions.\\n3. Overcoming Your Jealousy\\n3-1. Take responsibility for your feelings.\\nUnjustified jealousy is your problem and not your girlfriend's. If your girlfriend is not cheating on you or violating your boundaries, you're the one who needs to work on your jealousy. Own up to the fact you're being jealous and do not place the blame on external factors.\\n3-2. Remember your good qualities.\\nJealousy often stems from low self esteem. When you're feeling jealous, remember the good things about yourself. Jot down a list of your best qualities to bring yourself up.\\nIt can also help to remind yourself why your girlfriend wants to be with you. Does she say she loves your sense of humor or your kind personality? Keep this in mind, as it can curb feelings of jealousy.\\n3-3. Assess your jealousy.\\nJealous people are often chronically insecure. They also may have issues from their past contributing to jealousy. Did you struggle to make attachments to caregivers early in life? Have you been cheated on before, or did one of your parents cheat on the other?\\nIf there are major issues contributing to your jealousy, see a therapist to sort them out.\\n3-4. Manage your emotions in a healthier fashion.\\nMaking demands of your girlfriend is not the best means to deal with your jealousy. When you feel jealous, find healthier ways to regulate your emotions.\\nWhen your thoughts start to get out of control, ground yourself in the present with mindfulness. Tune into your senses and notice the pattern of your breathing.\\nTry other stress reduction techniques as well. Journal, exercise, or watch a movie to get your mind off your thoughts.\\n3-5. Develop interests outside your relationship.\\nIf your relationship is the only thing you have going for you, you're more likely to obsess over it. Build up relationships with friends and family members. Take up a hobby or join a club. This way, you'll have more to focus on than your girlfriend's relationship with other men.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's normal to have frustrations and insecurities in a relationship. If your girlfriend is talking to someone you dislike or don't trust, you may be inclined to ask her to stop. Make sure you have a good reason to make this request beyond simple jealousy. Ask in a calm, respectful manner to keep things from backfiring. Always be willing to compromise. Your girlfriend may not respond well to you making demands.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Having the Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain your feelings with \\\"I\\\"-statements.\", \"描述\": \"As this is a delicate situation, phrasing things using \\\"I\\\"-statements can help reduce tension as you place the focus on your feelings. Begin with \\\"I feel...\\\" and state your feeling. Then, explain the behavior that led to that feeling and why you feel the way you do.\\nDon't come into the situation and say something like, \\\"It's hurtful that you're so flirtatious with your ex and it makes me insecure.\\\" This can sound hostile.\\nInstead, calmly rephrase the above sentiment using an \\\"I\\\"-statement. For example, say, \\\"I feel uncomfortable when you're very touchy and affectionate with your ex because it makes me feel like the two of you still have feelings for each other.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be matter of fact.\", \"描述\": \"After explaining your feelings, be direct and matter of fact about what you want. Remember, there is no guarantee she will be receptive. It's probably better to ask her to lessen contact or tone down interactions than demand she not talk to him at all. \\nSay something like, \\\"I would feel more comfortable if the two of you didn't talk as much, or if you toned down some of the physical affection, especially in my presence.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give her a chance to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Asking your girlfriend to change her relationship with someone is a very sensitive topic. It's important your girlfriend has a chance to share how she feels as it is still her decision. After making your case, let her respond without interrupting her.\\nGive non-verbal cues to show you're listening, such as maintaining eye contact and nodding on occasion.\\nIt can also help to paraphrase what she's said to make sure you understand. For example, say, \\\"So, you feel like the relationship is still important because the two of you were friends before you dated. Is that what you're saying?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remain calm.\", \"描述\": \"Yelling, making accusations, calling names, and being otherwise hostile is not going to help the situation. It can be hard to stay calm during a confrontation, but take some deep breaths. Remember, you're trying to improve your relationship and not start a fight.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay in the present.\", \"描述\": \"You're talking about a situation that is occurring right now. You are not discussing the past or other issues, so do not bring these things up. This is likely to make your girlfriend feel judged and get defensive.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be willing to compromise.\", \"描述\": \"It's very unlikely your girlfriend will flat out agree to stop speaking to someone as in this you are asking them to break bonds with someone else and this can be a large thing to ask. Therefore, you need to be willing to compromise. Find a solution where you both get what you want to some degree.\\nFor example, you could agree to let your girlfriend stay friends with her ex. She could agree to set firmer boundaries and be less physically affectionate with him. This could be a win-win situation for both of you!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Deciding If and How You Should Ask Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure you're being fair.\", \"描述\": \"If you're worried about your girlfriend talking to a guy because he gives you bad vibes, it's appropriate to tell her so. However, if you're simply being jealous, it's not always a good idea to request your girlfriend stay away from a guy. This can easily backfire.\\nIf you're feeling jealous, look at the situation from a rational perspective. Is your girlfriend really going to be receptive to you asking her to not talk to a guy simply because you're insecure? Probably not.\\nThink about if your jealousy is even related to the guy, or if it’s part of a bigger issue. For example, maybe your jealousy is actually a reaction to your girlfriend being busier than usual.\\nIf jealousy is the main culprit, it's better to have a conversation about why you're feeling jealous and how the two of you can cope as a couple.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes.\", \"描述\": \"In any difficult conversation, empathy is key to successfully talking things out. Before you talk to your girlfriend, sit down and put yourself in her shoes. Try to imagine where she's coming from. \\nFor example, maybe she talks to an ex-boyfriend and the two often seem flirtatious with each other. While this behavior may feel hurtful to you, perhaps your girlfriend sees it differently.\\nThink about how your girlfriend may see this situation. Is she generally affectionate with other friends, regardless of gender? If so, this may simply be how she acts with everyone. She may not see the relationship as a problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write down your thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Take a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Jot down your thoughts and feelings on the situation. Then, read over the words you wrote down and think about how you could verbally express them. As it's often hard to express yourself during a stressful conversation, having some idea of what to say can help. \\nYou should not write down what you want to say word for word. It's important to leave some room for flexibility. However, having a rough idea of how you'll phrase things can help.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Release any expectations you have.\", \"描述\": \"If you go into a conversation with specific expectations, you may become frustrated or angry if things unfold differently. You cannot tell the future and you don't know how your girlfriend will react. Releasing expectations can help you go into the situation willing to listen and accept your girlfriend's reactions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Your Jealousy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Unjustified jealousy is your problem and not your girlfriend's. If your girlfriend is not cheating on you or violating your boundaries, you're the one who needs to work on your jealousy. Own up to the fact you're being jealous and do not place the blame on external factors.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember your good qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Jealousy often stems from low self esteem. When you're feeling jealous, remember the good things about yourself. Jot down a list of your best qualities to bring yourself up.\\nIt can also help to remind yourself why your girlfriend wants to be with you. Does she say she loves your sense of humor or your kind personality? Keep this in mind, as it can curb feelings of jealousy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Assess your jealousy.\", \"描述\": \"Jealous people are often chronically insecure. They also may have issues from their past contributing to jealousy. Did you struggle to make attachments to caregivers early in life? Have you been cheated on before, or did one of your parents cheat on the other?\\nIf there are major issues contributing to your jealousy, see a therapist to sort them out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Manage your emotions in a healthier fashion.\", \"描述\": \"Making demands of your girlfriend is not the best means to deal with your jealousy. When you feel jealous, find healthier ways to regulate your emotions.\\nWhen your thoughts start to get out of control, ground yourself in the present with mindfulness. Tune into your senses and notice the pattern of your breathing.\\nTry other stress reduction techniques as well. Journal, exercise, or watch a movie to get your mind off your thoughts.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop interests outside your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"If your relationship is the only thing you have going for you, you're more likely to obsess over it. Build up relationships with friends and family members. Take up a hobby or join a club. This way, you'll have more to focus on than your girlfriend's relationship with other men.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,511 | How to Ask Your Mom for Birth Control | 1. Preparing for the Talk
1-1. Consider the different forms of birth control.
You might be interested in birth control but unsure of what kind would work best for you. The most common form of medical birth control is the pill, but there are other options that contain fewer hormones. The most common forms of birth control are:
IUDs
Birth control patches
Birth control pills
Birth control shot
Condoms
1-2. Consider the effects of birth control.
Before you talk to your mom, find out about the ways that birth control affects your body and the changes it can make, both positive and negative. Some of the benefits of different forms of birth control are listed below:
In addition to preventing pregnancy, hormonal birth control like the pill, patch, shot or IUD can prevent ovarian cysts and cancer, bone thinning, iron deficiency, acne, and PMS.
Condoms and dental dams prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
1-3. Plan your argument.
Use the information from your research to prepare your argument for your mom. If you come to her with knowledge and facts, she might be more willing to give in to your request, as you will seem more mature and thoughtful. Compile a list of all of the reasons you want birth control. Think ahead about the reasons that she might not want you to get on birth control and plan rebuttals for those concerns.
For instance, perhaps your mom doesn’t want you to get on birth control because she is afraid that you will gain weight like she may have. Find some birth control options that do not cause weight gain.
Work hard to stay on the topic, and pay attention that your mom does not stray off topic.
1-4. Practice in the mirror.
You might be very nervous to broach this topic with your mom, which is understandable. You can calm your nerves by practicing in the mirror beforehand. Practice delivering your pitch for why you should get birth control until you can do so without stammering or saying “um.”
Consider practicing with a friend if you feel comfortable.
1-5. Talk to your friends.
If you have friends who have asked for birth control, find out how they did it and if they were successful. Consider consulting with friends who have mothers similar to yours so that you can develop the best approach.
You might say “Hey, aren’t you on birth control? I know your mom is just as strict as mine so how did you convince her?”
1-6. Prepare for her reaction.
Before you speak to your mom, you will need to prepare yourself for her reaction. If you have a mother who is very religious, then she might react very strongly, particularly if she is just learning that you are sexually active.
If you feel that your mom might kick you out of the house because of this request, then you might want to wait until you are a bit older. If it is worth it to you, then make sure that you have somewhere else to stay for the time being.
Your mom might also feel confused or even sad at your request. Think about what her reaction might be so you can be better prepared.
Remember that this is a conversation that can be as awkward and uncomfortable for your mom as it is for you.
1-7. Set aside some time to talk.
If you are truly serious about getting on birth control, you will have to have a talk with your mom at some point. Ask your mom if she has some time to talk soon.
After she gets off work, you might say “Hey Ma, can we talk later on tonight? I have something I wanted to run by you.”
Don’t text her while you are at school or early in the morning asking to talk later. Avoid leaving her in suspense so that she doesn’t worry.
2. Having a Talk about Contraception
2-1. Break the ice.
The most difficult part of having the conversation is starting it. Make sure that you are in quiet and private location when you have this talk, away from your other siblings. Start by saying something like “So, I really wanted to talk to you today about me getting on birth control.”
If your mom reacts by yelling at you, remain calm. Take a deep breath, and wait for a pause. Then say, "Please hear me out."
2-2. Talk about why you want it.
Explain to your mom all the reasons why you want to get on birth control. This will help guide her as she is making her decision on whether or not to allow you. Be very honest with her; if you want to get on birth control because you are having sex, you should tell her this. If she finds out you are keeping secrets, she will be less likely to trust you to make important decisions like this.
Perhaps you don’t want birth control for contraceptive purposes and are interested in it only to regulate your period. Tell your mom this.
2-3. Talk about being responsible.
In addition to the health benefits, one of the most important outcomes of birth control is preventing pregnancy. If you are still at the point that you have to ask your mom for permission to get on birth control, then you probably are not at the stage in your life to have your own child. If you are sexually active, tell your mother about this concern of yours. She very likely does not want you to have a child at this time, either.
2-4. Tell her how important her opinion is.
Finally, you should tell your mom how important her opinion is on this. Tell her that you would not want to get on birth control at this age without her knowledge and consent and that you respect her opinion and judgement.
You can say “Mom, I know that if no one else will take care of me, you will. And I think that getting on birth control is really important for my health right now, especially since I’m sexually active.”
2-5. Listen.
After you have spoken your peace, listen to your mom. She may have not even considered the idea of you getting on birth control, so bear with her. This could be new information. Hear her out and answer any questions that she might have honestly.
Don’t interrupt her when she is speaking.
2-6. Ask her questions.
If your mom seems open to the idea of you getting on birth control, ask about her experience with it. See if it affected her emotionally, made her gain weight, have headaches, or eased off her periods. Ask her any other questions that you might have, whether they be about birth control, sex, or periods.
2-7. Send an email if you don’t feel comfortable talking in person.
Perhaps you are a bit too afraid to talk to your mom in person. If your mom tends to lash out or overreacts, then sending her your thoughts via email might be the best decision. You can also write her a letter explaining how you feel and all of your reasons for wanting to start birth control.
2-8. Talk about going to the gynecologist.
Though your mom may not want you to get on birth control at the moment, she may not have a problem with you going to see a gynecologist, especially if you have a very heavy period. Talk to her about wanting to see a gyno about this issue as well as any others you might be experiencing; the doctor will likely suggest birth control for you.
3. Handling Her Reaction
3-1. Stay calm.
No matter how you mom reacts to this request, do you best to stay calm. You reacting emotionally and immaturely to her will only make her less likely to allow you to get on birth control. Take some deep breaths when the conversation gets heavy.
Walk away and get some space from the conversation if you need to.
3-2. Give her some time.
After you have told her your feelings and heard from her as well, give her some time to process and make a decision. Don’t pressure her into deciding before she is ready, as this will likely yield you a “no.” Allowing her the time she needs to think will allow her to a more rational and calm decision rather than one rendered out of haste or pressure.
3-3. Bring up the topic at a later time.
Once your mother has made her decision, don’t lash out if it is not in your favor. She may have told you no, fearing that birth control would incentivize you to have sex, or perhaps she has other medical reasons like fear of hormones. Whatever your mom’s decision is, respect it for now. Make other arrangements to prevent pregnancy in the interim by practicing abstinence or using condoms.
If you use condoms, make sure you have instructions from a medical professional or from an online video on the proper use of condoms.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing for the Talk\\n1-1. Consider the different forms of birth control.\\nYou might be interested in birth control but unsure of what kind would work best for you. The most common form of medical birth control is the pill, but there are other options that contain fewer hormones. The most common forms of birth control are:\\nIUDs\\nBirth control patches\\nBirth control pills\\nBirth control shot\\nCondoms\\n1-2. Consider the effects of birth control.\\nBefore you talk to your mom, find out about the ways that birth control affects your body and the changes it can make, both positive and negative. Some of the benefits of different forms of birth control are listed below:\\nIn addition to preventing pregnancy, hormonal birth control like the pill, patch, shot or IUD can prevent ovarian cysts and cancer, bone thinning, iron deficiency, acne, and PMS.\\nCondoms and dental dams prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).\\n1-3. Plan your argument.\\nUse the information from your research to prepare your argument for your mom. If you come to her with knowledge and facts, she might be more willing to give in to your request, as you will seem more mature and thoughtful. Compile a list of all of the reasons you want birth control. Think ahead about the reasons that she might not want you to get on birth control and plan rebuttals for those concerns.\\nFor instance, perhaps your mom doesn’t want you to get on birth control because she is afraid that you will gain weight like she may have. Find some birth control options that do not cause weight gain.\\nWork hard to stay on the topic, and pay attention that your mom does not stray off topic.\\n1-4. Practice in the mirror.\\nYou might be very nervous to broach this topic with your mom, which is understandable. You can calm your nerves by practicing in the mirror beforehand. Practice delivering your pitch for why you should get birth control until you can do so without stammering or saying “um.”\\nConsider practicing with a friend if you feel comfortable.\\n1-5. Talk to your friends.\\nIf you have friends who have asked for birth control, find out how they did it and if they were successful. Consider consulting with friends who have mothers similar to yours so that you can develop the best approach.\\nYou might say “Hey, aren’t you on birth control? I know your mom is just as strict as mine so how did you convince her?”\\n1-6. Prepare for her reaction.\\nBefore you speak to your mom, you will need to prepare yourself for her reaction. If you have a mother who is very religious, then she might react very strongly, particularly if she is just learning that you are sexually active.\\nIf you feel that your mom might kick you out of the house because of this request, then you might want to wait until you are a bit older. If it is worth it to you, then make sure that you have somewhere else to stay for the time being.\\nYour mom might also feel confused or even sad at your request. Think about what her reaction might be so you can be better prepared.\\nRemember that this is a conversation that can be as awkward and uncomfortable for your mom as it is for you.\\n1-7. Set aside some time to talk.\\nIf you are truly serious about getting on birth control, you will have to have a talk with your mom at some point. Ask your mom if she has some time to talk soon.\\nAfter she gets off work, you might say “Hey Ma, can we talk later on tonight? I have something I wanted to run by you.”\\nDon’t text her while you are at school or early in the morning asking to talk later. Avoid leaving her in suspense so that she doesn’t worry.\\n2. Having a Talk about Contraception\\n2-1. Break the ice.\\nThe most difficult part of having the conversation is starting it. Make sure that you are in quiet and private location when you have this talk, away from your other siblings. Start by saying something like “So, I really wanted to talk to you today about me getting on birth control.”\\nIf your mom reacts by yelling at you, remain calm. Take a deep breath, and wait for a pause. Then say, \\\"Please hear me out.\\\"\\n2-2. Talk about why you want it.\\nExplain to your mom all the reasons why you want to get on birth control. This will help guide her as she is making her decision on whether or not to allow you. Be very honest with her; if you want to get on birth control because you are having sex, you should tell her this. If she finds out you are keeping secrets, she will be less likely to trust you to make important decisions like this.\\nPerhaps you don’t want birth control for contraceptive purposes and are interested in it only to regulate your period. Tell your mom this.\\n2-3. Talk about being responsible.\\nIn addition to the health benefits, one of the most important outcomes of birth control is preventing pregnancy. If you are still at the point that you have to ask your mom for permission to get on birth control, then you probably are not at the stage in your life to have your own child. If you are sexually active, tell your mother about this concern of yours. She very likely does not want you to have a child at this time, either.\\n2-4. Tell her how important her opinion is.\\nFinally, you should tell your mom how important her opinion is on this. Tell her that you would not want to get on birth control at this age without her knowledge and consent and that you respect her opinion and judgement.\\nYou can say “Mom, I know that if no one else will take care of me, you will. And I think that getting on birth control is really important for my health right now, especially since I’m sexually active.”\\n2-5. Listen.\\nAfter you have spoken your peace, listen to your mom. She may have not even considered the idea of you getting on birth control, so bear with her. This could be new information. Hear her out and answer any questions that she might have honestly.\\nDon’t interrupt her when she is speaking.\\n2-6. Ask her questions.\\nIf your mom seems open to the idea of you getting on birth control, ask about her experience with it. See if it affected her emotionally, made her gain weight, have headaches, or eased off her periods. Ask her any other questions that you might have, whether they be about birth control, sex, or periods.\\n2-7. Send an email if you don’t feel comfortable talking in person.\\nPerhaps you are a bit too afraid to talk to your mom in person. If your mom tends to lash out or overreacts, then sending her your thoughts via email might be the best decision. You can also write her a letter explaining how you feel and all of your reasons for wanting to start birth control.\\n2-8. Talk about going to the gynecologist.\\nThough your mom may not want you to get on birth control at the moment, she may not have a problem with you going to see a gynecologist, especially if you have a very heavy period. Talk to her about wanting to see a gyno about this issue as well as any others you might be experiencing; the doctor will likely suggest birth control for you.\\n3. Handling Her Reaction\\n3-1. Stay calm.\\nNo matter how you mom reacts to this request, do you best to stay calm. You reacting emotionally and immaturely to her will only make her less likely to allow you to get on birth control. Take some deep breaths when the conversation gets heavy.\\nWalk away and get some space from the conversation if you need to.\\n3-2. Give her some time.\\nAfter you have told her your feelings and heard from her as well, give her some time to process and make a decision. Don’t pressure her into deciding before she is ready, as this will likely yield you a “no.” Allowing her the time she needs to think will allow her to a more rational and calm decision rather than one rendered out of haste or pressure.\\n3-3. Bring up the topic at a later time.\\nOnce your mother has made her decision, don’t lash out if it is not in your favor. She may have told you no, fearing that birth control would incentivize you to have sex, or perhaps she has other medical reasons like fear of hormones. Whatever your mom’s decision is, respect it for now. Make other arrangements to prevent pregnancy in the interim by practicing abstinence or using condoms.\\nIf you use condoms, make sure you have instructions from a medical professional or from an online video on the proper use of condoms.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re young, sometimes even asking your mom to go out on Friday night can seem scary. Even more scary is the thought of asking her if you can get on birth control. Perhaps you are sexually active or considering it, or maybe you just want to get on birth control to better regulate your periods. Though this may be a difficult conversation, with a bit of preparation, you can try to achieve your goal of initiating a serious and respectful conversation with your mom.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing for the Talk\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider the different forms of birth control.\", \"描述\": \"You might be interested in birth control but unsure of what kind would work best for you. The most common form of medical birth control is the pill, but there are other options that contain fewer hormones. The most common forms of birth control are:\\nIUDs\\nBirth control patches\\nBirth control pills\\nBirth control shot\\nCondoms\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider the effects of birth control.\", \"描述\": \"Before you talk to your mom, find out about the ways that birth control affects your body and the changes it can make, both positive and negative. Some of the benefits of different forms of birth control are listed below:\\nIn addition to preventing pregnancy, hormonal birth control like the pill, patch, shot or IUD can prevent ovarian cysts and cancer, bone thinning, iron deficiency, acne, and PMS.\\nCondoms and dental dams prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plan your argument.\", \"描述\": \"Use the information from your research to prepare your argument for your mom. If you come to her with knowledge and facts, she might be more willing to give in to your request, as you will seem more mature and thoughtful. Compile a list of all of the reasons you want birth control. Think ahead about the reasons that she might not want you to get on birth control and plan rebuttals for those concerns.\\nFor instance, perhaps your mom doesn’t want you to get on birth control because she is afraid that you will gain weight like she may have. Find some birth control options that do not cause weight gain.\\nWork hard to stay on the topic, and pay attention that your mom does not stray off topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice in the mirror.\", \"描述\": \"You might be very nervous to broach this topic with your mom, which is understandable. You can calm your nerves by practicing in the mirror beforehand. Practice delivering your pitch for why you should get birth control until you can do so without stammering or saying “um.”\\nConsider practicing with a friend if you feel comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk to your friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you have friends who have asked for birth control, find out how they did it and if they were successful. Consider consulting with friends who have mothers similar to yours so that you can develop the best approach.\\nYou might say “Hey, aren’t you on birth control? I know your mom is just as strict as mine so how did you convince her?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Prepare for her reaction.\", \"描述\": \"Before you speak to your mom, you will need to prepare yourself for her reaction. If you have a mother who is very religious, then she might react very strongly, particularly if she is just learning that you are sexually active.\\nIf you feel that your mom might kick you out of the house because of this request, then you might want to wait until you are a bit older. If it is worth it to you, then make sure that you have somewhere else to stay for the time being.\\nYour mom might also feel confused or even sad at your request. Think about what her reaction might be so you can be better prepared.\\nRemember that this is a conversation that can be as awkward and uncomfortable for your mom as it is for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Set aside some time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"If you are truly serious about getting on birth control, you will have to have a talk with your mom at some point. Ask your mom if she has some time to talk soon.\\nAfter she gets off work, you might say “Hey Ma, can we talk later on tonight? I have something I wanted to run by you.”\\nDon’t text her while you are at school or early in the morning asking to talk later. Avoid leaving her in suspense so that she doesn’t worry.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having a Talk about Contraception\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break the ice.\", \"描述\": \"The most difficult part of having the conversation is starting it. Make sure that you are in quiet and private location when you have this talk, away from your other siblings. Start by saying something like “So, I really wanted to talk to you today about me getting on birth control.”\\nIf your mom reacts by yelling at you, remain calm. Take a deep breath, and wait for a pause. Then say, \\\"Please hear me out.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk about why you want it.\", \"描述\": \"Explain to your mom all the reasons why you want to get on birth control. This will help guide her as she is making her decision on whether or not to allow you. Be very honest with her; if you want to get on birth control because you are having sex, you should tell her this. If she finds out you are keeping secrets, she will be less likely to trust you to make important decisions like this.\\nPerhaps you don’t want birth control for contraceptive purposes and are interested in it only to regulate your period. Tell your mom this.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk about being responsible.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to the health benefits, one of the most important outcomes of birth control is preventing pregnancy. If you are still at the point that you have to ask your mom for permission to get on birth control, then you probably are not at the stage in your life to have your own child. If you are sexually active, tell your mother about this concern of yours. She very likely does not want you to have a child at this time, either.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell her how important her opinion is.\", \"描述\": \"Finally, you should tell your mom how important her opinion is on this. Tell her that you would not want to get on birth control at this age without her knowledge and consent and that you respect her opinion and judgement.\\nYou can say “Mom, I know that if no one else will take care of me, you will. And I think that getting on birth control is really important for my health right now, especially since I’m sexually active.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen.\", \"描述\": \"After you have spoken your peace, listen to your mom. She may have not even considered the idea of you getting on birth control, so bear with her. This could be new information. Hear her out and answer any questions that she might have honestly.\\nDon’t interrupt her when she is speaking.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask her questions.\", \"描述\": \"If your mom seems open to the idea of you getting on birth control, ask about her experience with it. See if it affected her emotionally, made her gain weight, have headaches, or eased off her periods. Ask her any other questions that you might have, whether they be about birth control, sex, or periods.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Send an email if you don’t feel comfortable talking in person.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps you are a bit too afraid to talk to your mom in person. If your mom tends to lash out or overreacts, then sending her your thoughts via email might be the best decision. You can also write her a letter explaining how you feel and all of your reasons for wanting to start birth control.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Talk about going to the gynecologist.\", \"描述\": \"Though your mom may not want you to get on birth control at the moment, she may not have a problem with you going to see a gynecologist, especially if you have a very heavy period. Talk to her about wanting to see a gyno about this issue as well as any others you might be experiencing; the doctor will likely suggest birth control for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Handling Her Reaction\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how you mom reacts to this request, do you best to stay calm. You reacting emotionally and immaturely to her will only make her less likely to allow you to get on birth control. Take some deep breaths when the conversation gets heavy.\\nWalk away and get some space from the conversation if you need to.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give her some time.\", \"描述\": \"After you have told her your feelings and heard from her as well, give her some time to process and make a decision. Don’t pressure her into deciding before she is ready, as this will likely yield you a “no.” Allowing her the time she needs to think will allow her to a more rational and calm decision rather than one rendered out of haste or pressure.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring up the topic at a later time.\", \"描述\": \"Once your mother has made her decision, don’t lash out if it is not in your favor. She may have told you no, fearing that birth control would incentivize you to have sex, or perhaps she has other medical reasons like fear of hormones. Whatever your mom’s decision is, respect it for now. Make other arrangements to prevent pregnancy in the interim by practicing abstinence or using condoms.\\nIf you use condoms, make sure you have instructions from a medical professional or from an online video on the proper use of condoms.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,512 | How to Ask Your Mom for Permission to Shave Your Legs | 1. Bringing Up the Subject
1-1. Find the right time.
If you want your mother to give you permission, it’s important to talk to her at a time when she’s receptive to a conversation. That means you probably don’t want to ask her about shaving after she’s had a long, frustrating day at home or work. Try to find a moment when she seems like she’s in a good mood, such as after she’s finished watching her favorite TV show.
If you want to increase your chances of your agreeing to let you shave, try asking her right after you’ve done something that shows you’re responsible, such as offering to wash the dishes after a family meal or getting a “A” on an important test.
You may want to ask her just before an event or occasion when shaving would make you feel more comfortable, such as a trip to the beach, or maybe wearing a dress to a special occasion. That may help your mother take the request more seriously.
1-2. Explain why you want to shave.
If you tell your mother that you want to shave just because all of your friends or classmates are doing it, she’s probably going to say no. You need to give her convincing personal reasons why it’s important for you to be allowed to shave. It may even be a good idea to jot down a quick list before hand, so you’re prepared when you talk to your her. Maybe if you say your peers are pressuring you, that would help also. Use a calm tone when you're talking to your mom and she'll be more open to the idea.
The key is to convey how uncomfortable your hair makes you to your mother. Point out how dark or plentiful it is, and share if it makes you too uncomfortable to wear shorts, skirts, and swimsuits even in warm weather.
If kids at school have teased you about your leg hair, tell your mother about the experience. That may make her more sympathetic to your situation.
It usually helps to keep your plea simple. For example, you might say, "I feel really self-conscious when I have to wear shorts for gym class because the hair on my legs is so dark," or "I've stopped going to the pool with my friends because I don't want anyone to see me in a swimsuit with all the hair that I have on my legs."
When it comes to actually asking to shave, make it clear how it would help your situation. For example, you might say, "Shaving my legs would really help me feel more comfortable and confident."
1-3. Be patient.
Your mother may not be prepared to give you an answer right away because she needs time to think about it. She may want to try to remember how old she was when she started shaving, or talk to friends to see when they allowed their daughters to start shaving. Let her have some time to think about your request without pressuring her.
If you’re very anxious about getting an answer, you might ask your mother to schedule a specific time to finish the conversation. For example, you might say, “Can you let me know this weekend?”
Don’t ask your mother about shaving or hint at the topic at all in the meantime. Respect your mother’s need to consider the topic carefully without you bugging her about it.
2. Dealing with the Decision
2-1. Don’t argue.
If your mother agrees to let you shave, it’s obviously easy to accept her decision. However, if she says no, you should still accept it without yelling or whining. Let her explain the reasons why she doesn’t think you should start shaving, and try to understand. By responding in a mature manner, it may help you be able to convince your mother in the future.
It’s completely normal to feel frustrated, angry, or upset if your mother won’t allow you to shave. Instead of yelling at her, though, vent to your friends.
If she says no, you might say, "I wish you would let me shave, but I understand how you feel. Thank you for considering the idea." She'll appreciate the fact that you're respectful and mature.
2-2. Offer a compromise.
Even if your mother says no, you may still be able to reach some common ground if you’re willing to compromise. Tell your mother that you’ll only shave below the knees so you’ll feel more comfortable in shorts, or ask if you can just try shaving once for a special occasion, such as a beach party. You might also ask if you can use a hair removal cream instead of shaving.
If your mother does agree to a compromise, don’t push the issue and try to ask for more. Be grateful for whatever amount of shaving or hair removal that she’s allowing.
2-3. Try again.
If your mother says no and isn’t willing to compromise, it can be very frustrating -- but it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. Now that you’ve broached the subject, your mom is probably going to continue thinking about it, even if she hasn’t allowed you to shave yet. After a little time, ask her again to see if she’s changed her mind. If you responded maturely when she said no before, she may be more receptive to the idea in the future.
It can be difficult to wait, but give your mom at least a month or two before you ask about shaving again.
3. Involving Her in the Process
3-1. Ask her to take you shopping.
Including your mother in the shaving process may make her more inclined to allow you to shave, so it’s a good idea to ask your mom to take you to the store to buy razors and other shaving items. She’ll probably want to provide advice on what type of razor to use, so it’s easier to have her there with you when you’re picking one out and ensure that you have the right tools and supplies on hand before you begin shaving.
Disposable razors are the least expensive, and usually offer a pretty close shave. However, they’re the most likely to nick you so you need to be extremely careful when you use them.
Reusable razors with blades that can be replaced are usually sturdier than disposable razors, but can offer just as close a shave, or slightly better. The initial cost of a reusable option is usually higher than disposable, but in the long run, you can actually wind up saving money. They're also better for the environment than disposable razors.
Electric razors are more expensive than disposal razors, but they’re less likely to cause cuts or nicks when you’re using them. Keep in mind that they don’t provide the closest shave, though.
If you choose to go with disposal razors, you’ll also need a shaving cream or gel to help lubricate the skin when you’re shaving. Be sure to choose an alcohol-free formula because it’ll be less likely to irritate your skin.
3-2. Get a demo.
Shaving may seem pretty straightforward, but it’s easy to cut yourself and irritate your skin if you’ve never done it before. Your mother may have some good tips and tricks for getting a nice, close shave, so it’s a good idea to ask her to walk you through the process before you do it for the first time. Don’t be embarrassed to ask questions either -- your mother will want to help. In fact, asking her to demonstrate can help reassure her that you know what you're doing, so she's more comfortable with the idea of you shaving.
It’s usually best to shave in the shower or bath because the warm water help soften your skin, so it’s easier to glide the razor over your legs without cutting yourself.
You’re less likely to get razor burn or other skin irritations if you shave in the direction of your hair growth.
While it helps to have your mom to a demo, it’s okay if you want some privacy when it comes time to actually shave. Just be honest with your mother, and tell her you’ll check in with her when you’re done.
3-3. Talk about maintenance.
Once you’ve shaved for the first time, you’re probably going to want to keep at it so your legs remain smooth and hair-free. Everyone is different, but you should ask your mom about how often she thinks you should shave. She may not want you to shave too often, so if you ask for her input, it may help convince her to allow you to shave.
If you have light, thin hair, you may only need to shave once a week.
For dark, coarse hair, you may want to shave twice a week.
Keep in mind that hair grows faster as you get older. That means that you don’t necessarily need to shave several times a week just because your mother does.
Don’t forget to change your razor (or blade) either. If the blade is dull, you’ll be more likely to cut yourself. You can usually get five to ten shaves out of a single razor.
Tips
Always use your best manners when asking your parents for something. If you're rude, you’ll only come across as immature and hurt your chances.
If you’re uncomfortable asking your mother in person, consider sending a text or email to discuss the topic.
Sometimes it's easier to say "when do you think I should start shaving?"
Warnings
If she says no, it is best to do it when your a bit older and mature.
Don't try to shave secretly if your mother says no. Not only is there the danger that you might cut yourself and irritate your skin because you don’t know what you’re doing, but your mother will be less likely to trust you when it comes to other privileges in the future.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Bringing Up the Subject\\n1-1. Find the right time.\\nIf you want your mother to give you permission, it’s important to talk to her at a time when she’s receptive to a conversation. That means you probably don’t want to ask her about shaving after she’s had a long, frustrating day at home or work. Try to find a moment when she seems like she’s in a good mood, such as after she’s finished watching her favorite TV show.\\nIf you want to increase your chances of your agreeing to let you shave, try asking her right after you’ve done something that shows you’re responsible, such as offering to wash the dishes after a family meal or getting a “A” on an important test.\\nYou may want to ask her just before an event or occasion when shaving would make you feel more comfortable, such as a trip to the beach, or maybe wearing a dress to a special occasion. That may help your mother take the request more seriously.\\n1-2. Explain why you want to shave.\\nIf you tell your mother that you want to shave just because all of your friends or classmates are doing it, she’s probably going to say no. You need to give her convincing personal reasons why it’s important for you to be allowed to shave. It may even be a good idea to jot down a quick list before hand, so you’re prepared when you talk to your her. Maybe if you say your peers are pressuring you, that would help also. Use a calm tone when you're talking to your mom and she'll be more open to the idea.\\nThe key is to convey how uncomfortable your hair makes you to your mother. Point out how dark or plentiful it is, and share if it makes you too uncomfortable to wear shorts, skirts, and swimsuits even in warm weather.\\nIf kids at school have teased you about your leg hair, tell your mother about the experience. That may make her more sympathetic to your situation.\\nIt usually helps to keep your plea simple. For example, you might say, \\\"I feel really self-conscious when I have to wear shorts for gym class because the hair on my legs is so dark,\\\" or \\\"I've stopped going to the pool with my friends because I don't want anyone to see me in a swimsuit with all the hair that I have on my legs.\\\"\\nWhen it comes to actually asking to shave, make it clear how it would help your situation. For example, you might say, \\\"Shaving my legs would really help me feel more comfortable and confident.\\\"\\n1-3. Be patient.\\nYour mother may not be prepared to give you an answer right away because she needs time to think about it. She may want to try to remember how old she was when she started shaving, or talk to friends to see when they allowed their daughters to start shaving. Let her have some time to think about your request without pressuring her.\\nIf you’re very anxious about getting an answer, you might ask your mother to schedule a specific time to finish the conversation. For example, you might say, “Can you let me know this weekend?”\\nDon’t ask your mother about shaving or hint at the topic at all in the meantime. Respect your mother’s need to consider the topic carefully without you bugging her about it.\\n2. Dealing with the Decision\\n2-1. Don’t argue.\\nIf your mother agrees to let you shave, it’s obviously easy to accept her decision. However, if she says no, you should still accept it without yelling or whining. Let her explain the reasons why she doesn’t think you should start shaving, and try to understand. By responding in a mature manner, it may help you be able to convince your mother in the future.\\nIt’s completely normal to feel frustrated, angry, or upset if your mother won’t allow you to shave. Instead of yelling at her, though, vent to your friends.\\nIf she says no, you might say, \\\"I wish you would let me shave, but I understand how you feel. Thank you for considering the idea.\\\" She'll appreciate the fact that you're respectful and mature.\\n2-2. Offer a compromise.\\nEven if your mother says no, you may still be able to reach some common ground if you’re willing to compromise. Tell your mother that you’ll only shave below the knees so you’ll feel more comfortable in shorts, or ask if you can just try shaving once for a special occasion, such as a beach party. You might also ask if you can use a hair removal cream instead of shaving.\\nIf your mother does agree to a compromise, don’t push the issue and try to ask for more. Be grateful for whatever amount of shaving or hair removal that she’s allowing.\\n2-3. Try again.\\nIf your mother says no and isn’t willing to compromise, it can be very frustrating -- but it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. Now that you’ve broached the subject, your mom is probably going to continue thinking about it, even if she hasn’t allowed you to shave yet. After a little time, ask her again to see if she’s changed her mind. If you responded maturely when she said no before, she may be more receptive to the idea in the future.\\nIt can be difficult to wait, but give your mom at least a month or two before you ask about shaving again.\\n3. Involving Her in the Process\\n3-1. Ask her to take you shopping.\\nIncluding your mother in the shaving process may make her more inclined to allow you to shave, so it’s a good idea to ask your mom to take you to the store to buy razors and other shaving items. She’ll probably want to provide advice on what type of razor to use, so it’s easier to have her there with you when you’re picking one out and ensure that you have the right tools and supplies on hand before you begin shaving.\\nDisposable razors are the least expensive, and usually offer a pretty close shave. However, they’re the most likely to nick you so you need to be extremely careful when you use them.\\nReusable razors with blades that can be replaced are usually sturdier than disposable razors, but can offer just as close a shave, or slightly better. The initial cost of a reusable option is usually higher than disposable, but in the long run, you can actually wind up saving money. They're also better for the environment than disposable razors.\\nElectric razors are more expensive than disposal razors, but they’re less likely to cause cuts or nicks when you’re using them. Keep in mind that they don’t provide the closest shave, though.\\nIf you choose to go with disposal razors, you’ll also need a shaving cream or gel to help lubricate the skin when you’re shaving. Be sure to choose an alcohol-free formula because it’ll be less likely to irritate your skin.\\n3-2. Get a demo.\\nShaving may seem pretty straightforward, but it’s easy to cut yourself and irritate your skin if you’ve never done it before. Your mother may have some good tips and tricks for getting a nice, close shave, so it’s a good idea to ask her to walk you through the process before you do it for the first time. Don’t be embarrassed to ask questions either -- your mother will want to help. In fact, asking her to demonstrate can help reassure her that you know what you're doing, so she's more comfortable with the idea of you shaving.\\nIt’s usually best to shave in the shower or bath because the warm water help soften your skin, so it’s easier to glide the razor over your legs without cutting yourself.\\nYou’re less likely to get razor burn or other skin irritations if you shave in the direction of your hair growth.\\nWhile it helps to have your mom to a demo, it’s okay if you want some privacy when it comes time to actually shave. Just be honest with your mother, and tell her you’ll check in with her when you’re done.\\n3-3. Talk about maintenance.\\nOnce you’ve shaved for the first time, you’re probably going to want to keep at it so your legs remain smooth and hair-free. Everyone is different, but you should ask your mom about how often she thinks you should shave. She may not want you to shave too often, so if you ask for her input, it may help convince her to allow you to shave.\\nIf you have light, thin hair, you may only need to shave once a week.\\nFor dark, coarse hair, you may want to shave twice a week.\\nKeep in mind that hair grows faster as you get older. That means that you don’t necessarily need to shave several times a week just because your mother does.\\nDon’t forget to change your razor (or blade) either. If the blade is dull, you’ll be more likely to cut yourself. You can usually get five to ten shaves out of a single razor.\\nTips\\nAlways use your best manners when asking your parents for something. If you're rude, you’ll only come across as immature and hurt your chances.\\nIf you’re uncomfortable asking your mother in person, consider sending a text or email to discuss the topic.\\nSometimes it's easier to say \\\"when do you think I should start shaving?\\\"\\nWarnings\\nIf she says no, it is best to do it when your a bit older and mature.\\nDon't try to shave secretly if your mother says no. Not only is there the danger that you might cut yourself and irritate your skin because you don’t know what you’re doing, but your mother will be less likely to trust you when it comes to other privileges in the future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Growing up means lots of changes with both you and the people around you. There can be a lot of pressure to change hygiene, wash and comb differently, and maintain body hair differently. In the end, your mom has a large say in how you cope with these changes and respond to each one. If you feel it's high time to get your leg hair in check, learn how to discuss the situation with your mom and get the ball rolling to smooth legs.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bringing Up the Subject\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find the right time.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your mother to give you permission, it’s important to talk to her at a time when she’s receptive to a conversation. That means you probably don’t want to ask her about shaving after she’s had a long, frustrating day at home or work. Try to find a moment when she seems like she’s in a good mood, such as after she’s finished watching her favorite TV show.\\nIf you want to increase your chances of your agreeing to let you shave, try asking her right after you’ve done something that shows you’re responsible, such as offering to wash the dishes after a family meal or getting a “A” on an important test.\\nYou may want to ask her just before an event or occasion when shaving would make you feel more comfortable, such as a trip to the beach, or maybe wearing a dress to a special occasion. That may help your mother take the request more seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain why you want to shave.\", \"描述\": \"If you tell your mother that you want to shave just because all of your friends or classmates are doing it, she’s probably going to say no. You need to give her convincing personal reasons why it’s important for you to be allowed to shave. It may even be a good idea to jot down a quick list before hand, so you’re prepared when you talk to your her. Maybe if you say your peers are pressuring you, that would help also. Use a calm tone when you're talking to your mom and she'll be more open to the idea.\\nThe key is to convey how uncomfortable your hair makes you to your mother. Point out how dark or plentiful it is, and share if it makes you too uncomfortable to wear shorts, skirts, and swimsuits even in warm weather.\\nIf kids at school have teased you about your leg hair, tell your mother about the experience. That may make her more sympathetic to your situation.\\nIt usually helps to keep your plea simple. For example, you might say, \\\"I feel really self-conscious when I have to wear shorts for gym class because the hair on my legs is so dark,\\\" or \\\"I've stopped going to the pool with my friends because I don't want anyone to see me in a swimsuit with all the hair that I have on my legs.\\\"\\nWhen it comes to actually asking to shave, make it clear how it would help your situation. For example, you might say, \\\"Shaving my legs would really help me feel more comfortable and confident.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Your mother may not be prepared to give you an answer right away because she needs time to think about it. She may want to try to remember how old she was when she started shaving, or talk to friends to see when they allowed their daughters to start shaving. Let her have some time to think about your request without pressuring her.\\nIf you’re very anxious about getting an answer, you might ask your mother to schedule a specific time to finish the conversation. For example, you might say, “Can you let me know this weekend?”\\nDon’t ask your mother about shaving or hint at the topic at all in the meantime. Respect your mother’s need to consider the topic carefully without you bugging her about it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dealing with the Decision\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t argue.\", \"描述\": \"If your mother agrees to let you shave, it’s obviously easy to accept her decision. However, if she says no, you should still accept it without yelling or whining. Let her explain the reasons why she doesn’t think you should start shaving, and try to understand. By responding in a mature manner, it may help you be able to convince your mother in the future.\\nIt’s completely normal to feel frustrated, angry, or upset if your mother won’t allow you to shave. Instead of yelling at her, though, vent to your friends.\\nIf she says no, you might say, \\\"I wish you would let me shave, but I understand how you feel. Thank you for considering the idea.\\\" She'll appreciate the fact that you're respectful and mature.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer a compromise.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your mother says no, you may still be able to reach some common ground if you’re willing to compromise. Tell your mother that you’ll only shave below the knees so you’ll feel more comfortable in shorts, or ask if you can just try shaving once for a special occasion, such as a beach party. You might also ask if you can use a hair removal cream instead of shaving.\\nIf your mother does agree to a compromise, don’t push the issue and try to ask for more. Be grateful for whatever amount of shaving or hair removal that she’s allowing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try again.\", \"描述\": \"If your mother says no and isn’t willing to compromise, it can be very frustrating -- but it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. Now that you’ve broached the subject, your mom is probably going to continue thinking about it, even if she hasn’t allowed you to shave yet. After a little time, ask her again to see if she’s changed her mind. If you responded maturely when she said no before, she may be more receptive to the idea in the future.\\nIt can be difficult to wait, but give your mom at least a month or two before you ask about shaving again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Involving Her in the Process\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her to take you shopping.\", \"描述\": \"Including your mother in the shaving process may make her more inclined to allow you to shave, so it’s a good idea to ask your mom to take you to the store to buy razors and other shaving items. She’ll probably want to provide advice on what type of razor to use, so it’s easier to have her there with you when you’re picking one out and ensure that you have the right tools and supplies on hand before you begin shaving.\\nDisposable razors are the least expensive, and usually offer a pretty close shave. However, they’re the most likely to nick you so you need to be extremely careful when you use them.\\nReusable razors with blades that can be replaced are usually sturdier than disposable razors, but can offer just as close a shave, or slightly better. The initial cost of a reusable option is usually higher than disposable, but in the long run, you can actually wind up saving money. They're also better for the environment than disposable razors.\\nElectric razors are more expensive than disposal razors, but they’re less likely to cause cuts or nicks when you’re using them. Keep in mind that they don’t provide the closest shave, though.\\nIf you choose to go with disposal razors, you’ll also need a shaving cream or gel to help lubricate the skin when you’re shaving. Be sure to choose an alcohol-free formula because it’ll be less likely to irritate your skin.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get a demo.\", \"描述\": \"Shaving may seem pretty straightforward, but it’s easy to cut yourself and irritate your skin if you’ve never done it before. Your mother may have some good tips and tricks for getting a nice, close shave, so it’s a good idea to ask her to walk you through the process before you do it for the first time. Don’t be embarrassed to ask questions either -- your mother will want to help. In fact, asking her to demonstrate can help reassure her that you know what you're doing, so she's more comfortable with the idea of you shaving.\\nIt’s usually best to shave in the shower or bath because the warm water help soften your skin, so it’s easier to glide the razor over your legs without cutting yourself.\\nYou’re less likely to get razor burn or other skin irritations if you shave in the direction of your hair growth.\\nWhile it helps to have your mom to a demo, it’s okay if you want some privacy when it comes time to actually shave. Just be honest with your mother, and tell her you’ll check in with her when you’re done.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk about maintenance.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve shaved for the first time, you’re probably going to want to keep at it so your legs remain smooth and hair-free. Everyone is different, but you should ask your mom about how often she thinks you should shave. She may not want you to shave too often, so if you ask for her input, it may help convince her to allow you to shave.\\nIf you have light, thin hair, you may only need to shave once a week.\\nFor dark, coarse hair, you may want to shave twice a week.\\nKeep in mind that hair grows faster as you get older. That means that you don’t necessarily need to shave several times a week just because your mother does.\\nDon’t forget to change your razor (or blade) either. If the blade is dull, you’ll be more likely to cut yourself. You can usually get five to ten shaves out of a single razor.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always use your best manners when asking your parents for something. If you're rude, you’ll only come across as immature and hurt your chances.\\n\", \"If you’re uncomfortable asking your mother in person, consider sending a text or email to discuss the topic.\\n\", \"Sometimes it's easier to say \\\"when do you think I should start shaving?\\\"\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If she says no, it is best to do it when your a bit older and mature.\\n\", \"Don't try to shave secretly if your mother says no. Not only is there the danger that you might cut yourself and irritate your skin because you don’t know what you’re doing, but your mother will be less likely to trust you when it comes to other privileges in the future.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
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